#but i have therapy now :(((
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you know me better than anyone has ever known me, and i dare say the same is true for me about you.
#our flag means death#ofmd#edward teach#izzy hands#ofmd spoilers#ofmd season 2#gif#our content#by nora#i want to gif so many more things right now but i have fuckass group therapy. ed should consider it#UNBELIEVABLY abnormal about this. for the record
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It can't be overstated how powerful the catharsis is when a scene of a character connecting with their wounded inner child is done right. The key poses...the expressions...the timing...storytelling like this can help to provide some healing for so many people in the audience.
#(hear it from me as a former therapist --)#I basically have had many sessions with clients where it's WAY easier to visually show them what inner child work is like#rather than verbally trying to break down the concept and explain it to them in mere words#if you show them visually it hits the subconscious right away. bypasses the conscious mind and cold logic#to show this in the form of art drives the concept home that much more#that's why we need stories about healing done right#the How to Connect Lovingly part is soooo hard to do honestly (speaking from my own personal experiences too)#it's so easy to keep loathing your wounded inner kid and finding him/her/them pathetic#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#jinx arcane#isha arcane#arcane#literally like...now that I have seen this scene I want to dig up the old photo of smol me that I used in my own therapy --#to connect with my own horribly traumatized inner kid
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WHAT THE HELL IS LAB SAFETY!!
#my art#danny phantom#dp#danny fenton#danny phantom fanart#heheheh i have more time to do art now!!#reason: i went to therapy for work#tho im also writing my thesis so like dont set this as your standard for me lmao#anyways!! who wants to listen to my insane danny phantom analysis and hcs!!#eye strain#ask to tag!
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august
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#quick bg study based off a picture i took of my mailbox!!! went 2 check the mail thought the light was rly pretty n had a Vision#also fate is cruel and i live surrounded by hydrangea bushes so like . yanno.#exposure therapy and all that#real talk tho i am so well equipped w hydrangea brushes now this took no time at all . u do not scare me anymore.#what did take a long time was getting a fond expression on the TINIEST YUUJI HE IS SO SMALL#HES LIKE 3 PIXELS WIDE#ik its not a char-centric piece but i still wanted his face 2 look okay#and that was so difficult when hes so far in the bg comparatively GJHKGFKJS#i also wanted to caption this w fv lyrics from june gloom#but then i learned that camilla whatshername has a song w th same name and i could not take that risk#my music taste may b questionable but i have standards#anyway uhhhhhh if hell freezes over and some1 recognizes where i live based off itfs loitering by my mailbox pls donot doxx me thank u <3
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“Then the storm broke, and the dragons danced.” ― George R.R. Martin, Fire & Blood
#sending my therapy bills to george#fire & blood had me holding on for dear life#and now i have to see it visually???? ahhhh#house of the dragon#hotd spoilers#mine*#gifs*#gameofthronedaily#usermali#userleah#gameofthronesdaily#targnation#fire & blood
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pls dad astarion i beg of you
as much as i really want to i don’t know how much sense it makes, so for now let’s just be unserious
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#tavstarion#maybe i’ll make some actual art if someone can come up with a VERY good reason why he would agree to it#dorian would be a GREAT dad though#don’t worry as soon as i have a character who gets with gale i’ll dad the fuck out of him#for now they’re the funcles#maybe after a decade of therapy?#i hate that i did this because dorian and the bab are SO cute that i want to continue
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I wanted to do this meme since I saw the S2 of Earthspark, but I had the inspiration after complaining about It with @sketchy-mf . so:
(ok time to going back to Ao3 reading Fanfiction pretending they're canon in my mind 🙂)
#transformers#starscream#transformers earthspark#miguel o'hara#but it is Hasbro#Starscream and Knockout amica endura is canon in my head ... 🥲#canon event#starscream fanart#earthspark starscream#starscream your canon event is shit I sm so sorry#tfp knockout#this is bullshit#I was delulu#transformers hashtag#ao3 my beloved#tfe starscream#Starscream meme#Hasbro I tell you ma boi Starscream need therapy#he need also his husband Skyfire but I have fear now how they made all npc#still delulu#my art#I can hear Miguel theme#maccadam#I'm putting more effort into these tags than the actual drawing
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if you're trans, you have to live.
if you accomplish something else, then good.
if you accomplish nothing else, then good.
but you have to live.
🤍
#the election has me riddled with emotion#this was a way of coping i guess#or processing#i dont know what im going to do#but what ever it is i will be okay#you will be too. you just have to live to see it.#your future self is already so proud of you#okay now tags..#transgender#trans#pride#lgbtq#lgbtqia#trans joy#trans anger#transgender pride#trans pride#trans artwork#trans artist#queer#queer artist#art therapy#i saw the tv glow#isttvg#there is still time#self portrait#self portrature#painting#digital art#digital painting
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happy pride to all queer children of immigrants
patreon
#muertodraws#queer art#queer comic#lgbtq#pride#trans artist#qtpoc#trans art#transgender#transmasc#mlm#if youre a queer child of immigrants you deserve free lifelong therapy#this comic was originally going to be a “i feel like a freak” cuz im trans and people dont know what to do with me#and then it turned into like. oh god this experience is compounded by your complicted relationship to uhh well#being mexican and a child of immigrants#i was originally going to add a quote from a jose marti poem but idk i didnt want this to get too long#i think if i did that i would prolly attract the attention of latine purists and nationalists lmfaooo#i already have people who dont even believe im mexican much less a child of immigrants much less a man#the most common hate i get now is that im a confused white woman gringa who isnt latin american#besides the transphobia im just like. have you ever heard of a diaspora#anyway#hope someone enjoys this
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something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.
not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.
you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.
but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.
you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.
but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.
you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.
you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?
you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.
you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!
you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"
#this is very obviously about my battle with#ptsd#but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery#i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness#and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different#here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed#learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly#and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest#and now it is flowering.#it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now...#... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy.#(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)
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my therapist: how are you feeling in the wake of your (autism spectrum disorder) diagnosis?
me: well it makes sense doesn’t it? i was the one who requested testing. like on some level i kind of figured.
my therapist: yes, i’m personally glad we pursued it because it helps me better understand parts of your behavior and how to accommodate you. but how do you feel about it? you said before that you were in heavy denial about the possibility when you were younger.
me: well yeah, i had a preconceived idea of what autism was that i know now wasn’t true. but at the time it was distressing and i didn’t want to think about it too hard.
my therapist: how was it different then? what was your idea of autism then?
me: it was, you know, severe developmental delay. i never thought i had developed abnormally at all, so to try and match up the severity i associated with autism and the way i viewed myself, i just couldn’t.
my therapist: but you did.
me: sorry?
my therapist: you did develop abnormally. both socially and academically.
me: socially yes, but i had no problems with academics. i always especially excelled at reading comprehension, more so than anyone else in my grade. i started lagging in high school but i think that was a lot of burnout and depression and ptsd, probably. i was incredibly smart. hell, i spoke in full sentences earlier than most of my peers.
my therapist: violette, that’s still abnormal development.
me: …huh?
my therapist: developing abnormally fast is still developing abnormally.
me:
me: oh.
#nothing in our sessions has ever hit me as hard as that#it was almost a year ago now and i still think about it#i’ve never had one of those ‘moments of clarity’ in therapy outside of this#but god damn did i have to sit with it for a bit#developing abnormally fast is still developing abnormally#jesus Christ ellen#actually autistic#actually asd#hashtag autism posting#autism#autistic adult#autistic feels
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I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.
If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!
#mental health#mental health advocacy#it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and#that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people#because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy#obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished'#if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many#but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed...#...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person#i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it#and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around#it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people#it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly)#i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued#anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this#if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you#i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3
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#but am I wrong though?#kyle gaz garrick#gaz nation#call of duty#with those eyes?#he can have whatever he wants#task force 141#cod mw2#why am i like this#there’s no amount of therapy that can help me now
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in order to live a happy life, you must romanticize everything (and see a good therapist).
#so i have passed another semester and now I'm on vacations#and im happy to post at this account again and from now onwards I'll post continuously#life is treating me good and i start cherishing small things again#hope you guys are also having good days and if not then trust me after every dark tunnel there's light at the end#dark academia#light academia#excerpts#fragments#poetry#romanticism#spilled thoughts#words#spilled ink#writings#on life#life quotes#therapy#spilled writing#writings on tumblr#soft academia#daily poem#funny post
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Alright so before I jump on the ln3 bandwagon can I put Mono through the wringer one more time? Okay? Okay 👍
#when I first saw the ending after mono falls into the flesh prison#I first thought the eyes were creating an illusion of a room w the way it was presented#I thought the idea of mono trying to leave only for that illusion to break in order to intimidate him would look interesting visually#and boom now this exists have fun y’all I see you in therapy#little nightmares#little nightmares 2#little nightmares spoilers#tw eyes
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You guys do realize a lot of watcher fans complaining about the six dollars don't just need to "cancel their disney+ or hulu subscriptions." They're the people who ALREADY can't afford streaming services. It's not that they should be supporting independent creators over big corporations, it's that they literally cannot afford to do either.
#Some people in this tag genuinely do not know how poverty works#Like. 6 dollars is A LOT by american standards right now#And that's not even counting countries with currency worth less#For some watcher fans this is literally '6 dollars towards content or 6 more dollars towards rent to keep my housing#Or food so I don't starve'#ren posting#watcher#watcher entertainment#Edit: there's also people like me who CAN AFFORD IT#But they have better things to put money towards. Like college and therapy and medications and a mortgage#So not every fan who can afford it will because there are simply more important things to pay for. Especially in this economy
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