#but i have felt... very close to crying at all times and havent done so yet

[deoidesign]

when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this

[variousqueerthings]

@artofmaquenda

😭

you sent me both

can I justify spending 80 pounds on art.........

[definitelynotshouting]

Ask game #25?

mcytblr writer ask game

25.) What works and/or authors in the fandom do you recommend?

OH MAN..... GODS OKAY well this is about to become me gushing about my friends, but i think everyone and their mother should be reading @raichett, @droidofmay, @good-chimes, @sillyfairygarden, @sisyphean-writes, @renardroi's writing. Like holy shit i know some incredible authors. Grim in particular went and fully changed my brain chemistry with his fic Total Apogee of the Heart, which i do believe i described to him as "like reading an oil painting," and "like you've taken an axe to my chest and deftly split it down the middle to show me the inner workings of my heart," which is truly the palest of terms i can use to describe something that ended up feeling so soul-shocking to me /pos. The skillful way he twists words to layer these rich, saturated themes into his stories makes me INSAAAAAAANE, its pretty much the epitome of how i want to write when it comes to thematic elements and imbuing my narratives with symbolism. I genuinely dont know how to describe it, but the way he crafts sentences and weaves in references to other media is like reading a fairytale, and it leaves me feeling like ive just resurfaced from a dream every time.

And, ofc, my very good and dear friend Raichett with their ACP-verse-- oh my gods what an incredible read. Reincarnation fic with modern minecraft worldbuilding FUCKING SIGN ME UP..... i think this might be my favorite fic in the fandom because truly you can just feel the heart-wrench of how long Grian has been waiting, of all those words left unsaid during his and Scar's initial conversation that we the reader happen to be privy to. AND THE SEQUEL!!! THEE SEQUELLLLL THE ONGOING SEQUEL RAAAAAAAHH okay im normal im normal im normal <- lying. It just manages to hit every fucking trope i love all at once so i start frothing at the mouth whenever it gets updated or they send me snippets. I could read Raichett's writing for hours and hours and just feel so warm within it, truly beautiful prose and characterization :]

And ohhhh Sisyphean my beloved..... if you havent been reading their anonymous scarian fic series then please please do so, especially Bread and Butterflies, a fic they gifted me that made me simultaneously want to cry and also curl up into for the rest of my life. Something about the atmosphere in their fics, along with the juxtaposition of their unique form of humor, really just knocks it out of the park for me. And, of course, the gut-wrenching wing scene-- trust me, you need to read this fic. The reveal is so incredibly well done that it feels like a gauze being lifted from your eyes so you can finally see more than the lurking silhouette of what's been hinted at. Beautiful fic and evocative writing, i dont feel like i can do it justice you're just gonna have to go read it for yourself >:]

Sorry i told you this was gonna be me gushing so i am going to gush can we talk about Droid's fucking fics please. Can we talk about those. I've always been captivated by their writing, worldbuilding, and the way they so deftly weave implications into their prose to present a fic that feels so neatly-woven it practically breathes. Every work i've ever read from them, regardless of fandom, is some of the most engaging writing ive ever read before. Not to promo a fic inspired by hunger au, but im especially enamoured with their gift will the curse be reversed if you say it backwards. Reading that was like getting kicked in the chest a billion times until it ached, and the way they portrayed the two Grian's dynamics brought me perilously close to tears multiple times while reading, which is admittedly very hard to do. Also i think reading that fic is the closest ive ever gotten to what yall experience whenever i upload a new hunger au chapter-- i stg the dread i felt as the fic progressed had me HOLLERING in their dms like "IS THIS WHAT THATS LIKE. OH MY GODS" truly just a phenomenal fic all around

Thello, oh Thello, my beloved friend, her fic you are here to risk your heart had ME heartbroken in the best of ways when i first read it, and every reread since has only solidified it as a stunning cross-section into 3L!scarian's dynamic. Thello's writing in general is always so deeply elegant and refined-- reading it feels a lot like shoving the world's richest, gooiest, most delicately-layered cake into my mouth to melt on my tongue. She just gets intimacy in a way i rarely see done, highlighting the fragile way people can come together while straining to stay apart. Her writing is so deeply, utterly human in the details she chooses to focus on, and that level of groundedness paired with her fantastical prose makes me feel like what im reading is both very real and also the whisps of a beautiful, colourful dream.

And, last but very much not least, my wonderful friend Telk. Telk's writing is so utterly unique, bursting at the seams with both humor and a quiet rawness that punches me right in the ribs every single fucking time. They're also so deeply, insanely skilled at being able to say so so much in a story while dancing around the actual core of it, drawing you into understanding whats really going on below the surface like an event horizon. Their fic A Certain Je Ne Sais What is, in my mind, a particularly good example of the subtle and skillful way they weave implications into their work-- im perpetually in awe of how meticulously they poured Grian's cognitive dissonance between how he really feels about Scar, and how he wants to feel about Scar, into the narrative. That, and their characterization is genuinely flawless, im not sure ive ever read better character voices that capture the inherent humor of their owners than in Telk's writing.

Gods i have so much more to say about so many more of my friends and their fics but i'll stop here otherwise i will never shut up. Local guy loves his friends so fucking much i will shout it to the sky any chance i can take<3

And as a bonus, here's the hermit/trafficshipping collection i run on ao3, affectionately nicknamed The Body Count!! Its chock-full of incredible authors and writing, all of whom are my close friends, and its recently expanded to contain 60+ fics!! 60+!!!! INSANE. MY FRIENDS ARE INSANE AND I LOVE THEM PLEASE GO READ AND COMMENT ON THEIR WORKS BC THEY DESERVE THE ATTENTION :] THANKS FOR THE ASK AAAAAAAAAA OKAY BYE ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[marvelita85]

The dance of dragons abruptally finished when Aegon ii burtned Rhaenyra in front of her surviving children, y/n and Aegon iii witnesing the atrocity as a plot against the greens to put you on the throne has already began and the arrival of Cregan Stark who became a very good friend of your brother Jacearys finished Aegon ii reign but as everyone hoped you to be benevolent and forgiven you turn vengefull and evil

The queen dowager beg on her knees for her reminded son lifes, Daeron was dead, your husband survived the battle of the gods eye but at great cost with the death of Vaghar, Caraxes and Daemon surviving too but keeping that from the greens until the right moment

Cregan wanted to put to justice everyone who intervined into the dance and put Aegon ii as king, you stayed quiet sitting at the head of the table as the reminded council argue about the posible outcomes for the traitors

- my queen it has to be done that way

- it will be done my way Lord Wyle... after all you all are traitors to my eyes and the only reason you are not dead yet is because Lord Velaryon my grandsire, is here to talk in your favor, you commited treason swearing for my uncle and dethroning my mother, who was the rightfull heir, now you have to follow orders from another queen, thats me and be aware my Lords I am here to rule and all traitors will be paid in the only coin my family knows fire and blood - everyone knew you meant what you said

You slep through the knight in your room, is been a few weeks you havent been able to be alone and cry everything you needed to and you were your mother's girl of only 7 and 10, you were waiting for Daemon to be able to be by your side, the only brother alive you had left, your cousins/sisters remained beside you and gave you strenght to keep going and do what you meant to do as queen now

- to respect the memory of my grandsire the late king I'm going to adress you as Lord hand, as you dont hold that tittle no more - your dragon rest upon the peak of the dragon pit, and as you are no Targaryen you wont have the honor of my dragon's fire but the judgment of treason to the crown and to thr 7th kindoms, whoever sit in this Throne, we all even me, I've never wanted to be born first or be queen so soon, nor I expected my uncle to kill his own sister, my husband to kill his nephew...my brother... - you tried to stop talking because emotions filled you, your brother run to hug you and did it and stoped the maid with one of your hands, he was just a kid and he saw his mother died

- bring my uncles... - you didnt say husband even you still felt something for Aemond as you've always done since you were children

His eye found your for a minute but you stoped focusing on Otto Hightower

- Otto Hightower, the Stark family has a saying that the person passing the sentence is the one who has to swing the sword after all your traitories you deserved no honor, not even mine, somone you concidered not fit for the Iron Throne just because of what I have between my legs, and because you decided I was a bastard... and maybe I am all those things but worst is to have your greed wanting to Rule when you have no right upon a throne, take the late king out of the picture to instaled your blood upon the throne

- I dont have regrets of any of my actions princess... - you smile knowing he would be stumburn till the end

- and for that your blood will be lost fotever

- your husband is my blood and you probably has some growing inside of you already

- but you are not my blood and I have no love or wish of forgivness so Lord Otto Hightower I, Visenya Targaryen second of my name sentence you to die - you knew it was terrible to let your little brother see this but it was necesary, your dragon aproached to you and as he closed more Otto realised he was going to die screaming - drakarys - you said almost wispering but your dragon Shadow knew what to do he burn the traitor and Alicent screamed, Aemond only had time to hold his mother before she touch the grown, Alicent couldnt hold tears and grab her sons arms

You the queen turn your atention now to your uncle trying so hard to avoid looking at your husband as much resenment you felt for him you also felt love and that could betray yourself and your feelings

- I thought about giving you the same end you gave my mother but after awhile I came to conclution that is something you wish for so... Im not giving you the satisfaction of all ending...you will live whatever your life might be long or short is not upon me anymore, you will serve under the knights watch - all gasp in surprise even Cregan Stark beside you, no one expected for you to decided that, for Aegon it was wost than death - I decided to let you live uncle, Ive heard your mothers plea, am I not merceful?.... he dare to rise his eyes looking at you and he regreted it instantly

- AM I NOT MERCEFUL? - your right fist holding all the rage and hate you felt in your heart

You asked Cregan Stark to make sure he arrived safe to the wall after that he was no more your responsability

But all resolution died in your mouth when it came to him, you couldnt do it as much as he deserved it as much as you wanted it was hard

- may I have a minute alone with my husband , the dragons stayed but everyone retired leaving you alone - dont you dare say a word... I'm not a kinslayer like you, I wont kill any of you but you will wish I did it, I'll be queen of the 7th kingdoms and whoever rebel sgainst me I'll reign through ashes and blood and smoke if I have to because that's who I am...a dragon

- and what would you do with me...my queen

- the council, or what is left of it who I can still trust they sujested I declared our marriage nule... and marry again, and you'll be sent to Storms end where your brother sent you once or I will make Daemon to kill you as it should have been back in the god's eye along with your dragon now you are dragonless again... and what did you gain Aemond... nothing... you lost everything

- including you? - you were going to speak to tell him the answer he deserved but all resolution in you died whwn he kneel in front of you bowing his head - Kostilus, ñuha ābrazȳrys, gūrogon nyke arlī se shijetra nyke, iksā se mērī mēre qilōni could mōris bisa vīlībāzma, kesan obūljagon se tolvys iēdrosa pazavor naejot se greens kessa sagon pazavor naejot ao, unite īlva lentor istin se syt mirre se nyke kivio naejot sagon pazavor naejot ao syt se rest hen ñuha tubissa

(Please, my wife, take me again and forgive me, you are the only one who could end this war, i will bend the knee and everyone still loyal to the greens will be loyal to you, unite our family once and for all and I promise to be loyal to you for the rest of my days)

- Emilā naejot urnēptre nyke, iksā pazavor, lo ao nāpāsagon nyke arlī ossēninna ao nykēla

(You will have to show me, you are loyal, if you betray me again I will kill you myself)

- by the way... the witch of Harrenhall died a few days ago... she was your undoing Aemond... Alys Rivers and her bastard son are spoils of war and you should not mourn them... after all any offsprings you might have will be the heir and not some bastard from a whore - you didnt know how much it hurt your words or what that woman and her son meant in his life but you were still hurt and were going to try and hurt him even more at least a little

- will it be an end?

- maybe one day

- I've loved you my whole life and still... we destroyed eachother

- I'm broken because of what you and the greens did to the blacks we are talking as we are a different family but we are the same... we are Targaryens Aemond we destroyed eachother... one day we might learned to build ourselfs back up - you gave a hard breath in and a few tears in your eyes fight to be realised but your eyes didnt let them

- maybe is not us.... I decided to marry Jaehaera and Aegon iii when they reatch maturity...

- my niece and your brother...he is your heir...

-if we dont have children he will... and your niece the queen some day

- are we... going to have children?

- maybe

You have loved Aemond probably since you were born, the war between your family started begore that but you two didnt care about adults quarrels until he lost his eye to your brother... and you didn't really know who he became after the war after surviving Daemon's fight but maybe some of that love was worth saving

[littlelcvestory]

thank you @wesperbrekkered for tagging me even though im so inactive on like all my fandom accounts 😭😭😭

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 13 :)

2. What is your AO3 word count?

29,858 words 😭 thats kinda crazy for me ngl

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

my main is six of crows! my ao3 still has my fics from when i wrote solangelo tho lmao

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

sparks fly (whenever you smile) with 268 (wesper)

we were in screaming color with 244 (solangelo)

Doctor Death (god this fic is so old i hate it 😭) with 236 (solangelo)

i wanna teach you how forever feels with 221 (wesper)

time can't stop me quite like you did with 205 (i wrote this for a school assignment, it's from the book they both die at the end)

i strongly dislike this list mainly because of solangelo being on there and how long ago i wrote those fics because theyre really bad now 😭 perhaps leave more kudos on my wesper fics :)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

YES it makes me so happy that people enjoyed what i wrote. i'd like to say it's author fuel but i have not touched any of my fics since august but they ARE author serotonin

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

it's either time can't stop me quite like you did (because he literally d!es) but none of my SoC fics have angsty endings, because none of them have endings. haha

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhh i'd say it would be i wanna teach you how forever feels purely because it's a cute domestic post-ck wesper

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i dont think im widespread enough to have haters on my fics tbh 😭

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

nope, i am literally 16 !! although i have written a few very intimate passages but theres also taught you the way you call me baby which is the closest i'll ever get for now

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

my wesper romeo and juliet au like fire and powder that i havent touched since august! this was like my most big brain idea ever but i'm torn between discarding it and starting from scratch or continuing as it is right now

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

i dont think so, and i hope not !

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

no :)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

also no

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? 

wesper. next!

15. What’s a WIP you’d like to finish but doubt you ever will?

THE ROMEO AND JULIET AU I AM CRYING i need to continue it as soon as possible oh lord

16. What are your writing strengths?

not sure tbh! i do find writing dialogue easy but it also leads to my downfall sometimes which i'll explain in the next question

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

inner monologues, because they jump around too much and i eventually stray from the original thought. or anything thats not closely tied to a character ... i'm really strong with character driver things but if you hand me a plot, i'm gonna struggle (which may be why the r&j au is failing LMAO) and how i said with dialogue, it ends up being dry and makes the scene move a little too fast. i'm really bad at slowing down scenes 😭

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? 

never done it before hehe

19. First fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson, i think

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

my romeo and juliet au because its the most ambitious thing i ever tried to accomplish. i really want to get back to it because i'm still so intrigued by the idea of it and i was shocked i wrote 10k for the first chapter but it felt like it was being squeezed out of me... i'll do my best to get back to writing i've had insane weiters block (no thanks to school 🙄)

thanks for tagging me rae :) i'm tagging @artsypretzel @jazzythursday and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it :)

[n1ght1ng4le]

TIME TO DO THIS THING! YAYY! :)

1) scott pilgrim ( @thereal-yippee 's fault), tmnt (also @thereal-yippee 's fault), brooklyn 99 (for the ninth time)

2) black ankle socks. plain, simple.

3) YES SMOOTHIE SUPREMACY

4) baby blue tshirt, beige long jeans (the ones with the complex pockets), brown belt and black heel boots

5) sunny side up

6) my brain (i remember page numbers)

7) it is a rainbow of colours :> (black. the answer's black.)

8) i collect rocks. but like, the really really complex, nice looking ones (NOT CHRYSTALS) :D (i have almost 20 :3)

9) the intro to warsaw by lovejoy. if im crying (which i havent done in 5 years, well done me), play that and i will immediately stop and do the warsaw wiggle

10) dunno, never done one (i'll have to guess colour)

11) used to swear glasses. stopped last week. was about to say glasses.

12) @thereal-yippee the obsessions. so random.

13) PEN.

14) a basketball court (dont ask me, idk either (i love basketball)

15) no and no

16) its not a hoodie (dont wear them) but i have this brown sweater that goes well with like everything that my sister bought me and its like one of the only times she's been like proper nice to me so yeah i love it :D

17) food.

18) the french revolution

19) i live in malaysia, we dont celebrate halloween here.

20) none. (except for multiplication. thats my shit)

21) im compelled to say da vinci (once again, @thereal-yippee ‘s fault)

22) hot drinks. i hate how cold cold drinks are and how cold they make your hands and how bad they taste after the ice has melted and euurjrhh

23) lovejoy.

24) too young. cant drive.

25) i dont have any tattoos but i got an earlobe piercing when i was seven and want to get another one but my school wont let me (good im moving)

27) no and no. im not very SEASONED in the art (hehehe)

28) was on the swim team for two years but then quit because i dont like swimming

29) not that much but i did build a motorbike once!!

30) one side it school uniform, the other side is stuff thats too small that my mum keeps forgetting to give to charity, the middle is a mess of all my fav clothes

31) portrait of a blank slate by lovejoy. EPIC.

32) i like my brown hair but i want like small specks of like a lighter brown but my school (again) doesnt allow it

33) EARBUDS.

34) yes ^^

35) massive pink teardrop shaped thing with closed eyes and flowers

36) air hockey >:)

37) cant do either so i dont give a shit

38) the shaggs

39) talking with one of my moots and trying to get them to go to sleep. i felt very helpful (theyll probably see this is the morning. hi al)

40) redwoods cus they tall (cant relate)

41) (and i quote) “shower fresh”

42) no. i dont play games

43) ON. who doesnt.

44) let it rot in my wallet

45) i would say no but everyone says i do so… no.

46) will wood. (FOR THE IM TOO LAZY TO COUNTETH TIME, @thereal-yippee ‘s fault)

47) if i have to i will but i wont ACTIVELY get up and go for a walk

48) no

49) stay inside and listen to msr (mammalian sighing reflex)

50) in a bed

FINISHED. YAY.

Let's play the ask game :)

What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?

Describe your favorite pair of socks

Do you like smoothies?

What do you wear when you have to dress nicely?

How do you like your eggs?

What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?

What color dominates your closet?

Do you collect anything? If so, what?

What sounds or scents calm you down?

What’s your favorite kind of uquiz question? (Lyric, color, aesthetic, etc)

Do you wear glasses or contacts?

What’s something about your best friend that you love?

Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?

What are some places where you feel most at home?

Do you have any houseplants? Do any of them have names?

Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?

What’s the last thing you ordered online?

What’s one historical event that you would have liked to have witnessed?

What’s your favorite Halloween costume from when you were a kid?

What kind of math are you best at?

What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

Iced or hot drinks?

Which songs do you like to sing in the shower?

Are you a good driver?

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Are there any that you want?

Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties?

Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!

Can you swim very well? Do you like swimming?

Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favorite set?

Is your closet organized? If so, how?

What’s the last music video you watched?

If you could dye your hair any color, regardless of how you think it would look, what color would you choose?

Headphones or earbuds?

Can you read analog clocks?

Describe your favorite stuffed animal, either now or from when you were a kid.

What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at?

Do you mind if others are in the kitchen when you’re cooking or baking?

What’s one show you watch or musician you listen to that your friends know nothing about?

What was the best part of your day today?

What’s your favorite kind of tree?

What scent is your deodorant?

Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?

Do you shower with the lights on or off?

What do you do with spare change?

Do you have good handwriting?

What’s the last thing a friend recommended to you that you looked into and actually liked?

Do you like to go on walks?

Do you have a favorite plate or bowl?

What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining?

Describe your perfect sleeping conditions

[imayhavebpd]

Some context: the rant below may be disturbing, I talk about my relationship that is not going too good at the moment and about my worsening mental health.

Im nb and queer, so is my partner.

Just had the biggest fight with my partner and now he wants to leave me. after 3.5 years. We are both severely mentally ill and he wants to give up on our relationship. He doesnt care anymore, he has been breaking my trust over and over for the past few months. Suspicious relationship with a friend, going to her house, drinking copious amounts of alcohol and staying the night multiple times. He even confessed to sleeping in her bed once because he "felt light headed" . Her calling him in the middle of the night because she needed comfort. Him being ready to drop everything at any given moment to come to her place. He told me that they have been joking about him cheating on me with her since her newest boyfriend is so similar to him. Couple days ago he told me that he has been smoking weed with her, despite it being illegal in the place we live in. Drugs (each and every one) scare me so much and he knows that and still when I told him that I felt betrayed and disturbed he started calling me conservative and close minded. For the record, I dont think there is anything wrong with using any kind of drug, I just wished he would say something before he started doing drugs with her (and now he talks about doing mushrooms because they have a mutual friend who tries to grow them in her house). He likes to bully and tease me, make me feel bad and says that hes just joking. He lied to me in the past and about something very important too. He has been hiding that thing from me for months and we lived together. His parents are walking all over me, abusing both of us, trying to get us kicked out of our flat, despite being very rich they dont support him financially in any way and since he cant or wont find a job it falls on me to take care of finance (that is rent, food, medicine, transportation). I am beyond tired, Im suicidal and he doesnt care. He just doesnt care anymore. My job is literally killing me and I havent quit yet because the only way we can live together is if I have it. I feel betrayed, I feel emotionally cheated on, Im so disappointed that he would break my trust just to smoke weed with that girl and her friends and have fun.

The thing is.

I love him beyond words. I missed him before we knew each other. We are each others first partners, we are just 20 and we met in high school. Im autistic, and I really cant create deep relationships with other people. I dont know why, I just dont feel that way about the vast majority of people. Before I met him I felt lonely for all my life, there were people around me but no one understood me and they never felt like companions to me. We have been through hell together and its not the first time its bad. Almost every time it goes the same way, I want to fight for our relationship and he wants to leave, says that he doesnt love me anymore, that he doesnt feel anything. Now I lay in our bed, he is in the other room and I wait for him to come and talk to me.

He once crawled into our bed besides me and whispered that he could kill me if he wanted to, since he a lot taller and stronger than me. I never thought too much of it, but always it felt kinda weird.

Im not a good person, I told him that I want to kill myself and when he didnt want to talk earlier I asked what would happen if I left and didnt come back. He says that Im emotionally blackmailing him and he probably is right. I dont know, I have let so many things slide with him. I was screaming and crying and begging and he has been packing his stuff and ignoring me. And then I hit him. On his arm, not to hurt him but I know it was wrong. I wanted him to stop ignoring me but what I did is the worst thing I could have done. He said that this is probably the end as Im in his words "in the worst place mentally that I have ever been in". I cried all night, I cant sleep or eat, Im not thirsty, I just want the pain to stop. I want to hurt myself, I want him gone from my life, I want him to love me and care about what he has done to me, I want him to admit that he has ruined our relationship. I dont know who he is, he is a stranger to me but we have been together for all my life. I love him to death, I want to spend my life with him, I never want to see him again. He is still here, he has been taken away by his new friends and soon probably lovers and he has been taken away by himself and what is left I dont recognise.

Ive always invested more in this relationship, allowed hin to cross my boundaries when it made him happy untill I didnt have any left. I accept him, I love him, Im always there for him, he takes things out on me and I just continue to support him. I help him with his art and studies, I paint his nails and help him with anything he wants or needs help with. I allow him to run different psych. tests on me as he needs them for his studies, I give him my time and attention. Still, he is disgusted with my emotions, made me feel dirty by repeately telling me that I stink for over a month (and then admitted that I dont, he just thought it was a funny joke), told me that my anger is evil and pathological and that I should never feel it. He hates my body, hates that I have a human body and that Im not made out of glass and silicone and plastic. He doesnt kiss me on the lips and he finds my afab genitals to be extremly gross.

I lost so much in the past month, Im scared for my life. I lost a job opportunity that would have been perfect for me, and then I lost even more job opportunities. I may have lost my flat, I will probably have to move out untill the end of april. And now I have lost my boyfriend.

I know how it all sounds, but this is a vent and there is much more good than bad, we have loved each other deeply for a long time now.

[michu-writes]

🐉 K, so...... I never played Omori, but I wanna give you something to write, so how about just general dating headcanons with Hero and Kel? You can do them separately or as a poly ship, either way, is fine. Hope that satisfies you and you'll have fun writing this. Love you! <3

A/N: I KNOW YOU HAVENT PLAYED OMORI AND HAVE LITTLE TO NO KNOWLEDGE ABT IT BUT THIS MADE ME CACKLE

Kel and Hero are brothers so- no poly headcanons ofc BUT SEPERATELY I WILL DO!!! Thank you for requesting dear anon <3

Hero

Malewife? Manwhore? You're lucky to have him as a boyfriend. He's one of the (only) most respectful cis men out there, no joke /j.

He'll shower you with kisses and bring food to your bed !!!!! Hero loves cuddling with you too after a long day of studying just to clear his mind. You both would also cook or bake something together!!! Doesn't matter if you're good or bad at it, because you'll always succeed as long as Herj is with you el oh el.

You guys met in Faraway town a few weeks before he was gonna leave for college at the park. You noticed he looked lonely and uneasy in a way, so you decided to talk to him. He stated he just needed some fresh air and so did you!! You guys eventually became friends and found out you were both gonna attend in the same college, so that is great!

Unfortunately, you guys didn't end up in the same dorm but you both still visited each other at anytime you could!! You still saw each other all around the campus but still yeyeyeye. Anyways he had a little hard time opening up to you,,, but he did tell you about Mari eventually. You felt really bad and awful for him, that must be a really really hard thing to go through at such a young age. You told him everything was gonna be fine and she's in a much better place now. After that you both pretty much got closer and the story goes on!!!

After like a year or two of being buds to good buds to best buds, you finally confessed and he surprisingly felt the same way!! Kel and his dad pretty much knew the whole time, but his mom kept denying it and saying "they're just best friends……."

But when you and Hero came back home from college, he asked if you wanted to meet his family face to face (because you have only been able to video chat with them whenever you were hanging out with Hero in your dorms) and you gladly said yeah. Everyone welcomed you as family and was happy for both of you. Kel May or may not have been like "Ew romance" but that's just how he is. His mom though was like "Oh!" and just needed a moment to process because she never thought Hero would get a s/o anytime soon. But she greeted you and was very nice so no worries!!!

One time you were visiting Hero and you both had to babysit Sally because everyone else was away. He was just done making lunch and was about to tell you until he saw you on the couch. He couldn't help but shed a tear of how cute and gentle you were with Sally, he instantly knew you'd be an awesome parent if you wanted to!!!

You were a bit worried about why he was crying but he quickly said you were just adorable when you were all cuddled up with his little sister. Sally was all fast asleep beside you while you snuggled her up close to your chest as you were watching TV with a blanket.

10/10 boyfriend, would recommend.

Kel

This kinda depends of how much energy you got because if you're like leaning more into the calm and relaxed type, you'll just watch him being a complete idiot in awe. He likes it because he knows your don't mind his chaotic nature (most of the time). But if you match his energy, oh god. Everything will go down hill. You'll both at least commit 5 crimes in a day. It might be really fun, but you both need someone to stop you. Like Hero perhaps.

You have known each other for a long time ever since the whole gang even formed. You both were best friends and was the only people who didn't close off which you both can agree were greatful for. You would invite him to do something to keep his mind off of things for a bit after Mari's death, and all the stress and worries about Hero. It helped and he just couldn't stop thanking you. His parents adores you for trying your best. Kel also helps you too in many different ways, you guys have each other.

When Sunny finally left his house to hangout with Kel before he moved away, they both invited you to tag along, in which you gladly agreed on. Sunny noticed the tension between you two and pointed it out. Let's just say you were both a red burning mess after that.

Sunny was kinda the one who egged Kel on to confess to confess to you because of the obvious crush, so thanks to him.

Kel usually asks Hero for relationship advices. He would also ask his dad, but they're always so long and dumb in his opinion.

He !!! Loves !!!!! Going out !!!!!! On dates !!!!!! You guys can also stay inside. His favorite dates are maybe going on a stroll at night or a movie night. During the strolls, you guys just just look at the night sky and admire the stars and moon while holding hands and rant about your favorite things ! During the movie nights, you just lay on the sofa with snacks in the table, a blanket covering the two who was all cuddled up, probably watching some horror or action movie.

Kel loves to creep up on you and scare you when you're not looking, he finds your reaction hilarious.

Will always hold your hand or have his arm around your shoulders. He'll also give you random hugs and kisses anywhere at all (unless you don't like pda which is totally fine). He's so sweet and goofy.

[ryuttaeng]

~ if you want to, i know this is more of a triggering topic to write about but is it possible you could make a ryuryeong x reader poly relationship of when they find out reader SH? i just started doing it again and i want to imagine someone comforting me . i havent told anybody in my real life besides my closest ever friend that ive been doing it but i hope you understand why i was requesting this. ~ random but i absolutely ADORE your name so much it sounds like a queens name

pairing: chaeryeong x ryujin x female!reader (poly)

content/warnings: self-harm, mental breakdown, angst with fluff, ryuryeong being supportive girlfriends, please do not read if sensitive/uncomfortable with such themes!

summary: tired. that’s what you’ve been hearing about yourself recently, only smile weakly, convincing people around you that you’re fine. no one else knew that you’ve been cutting yourself, but your girlfriends walked in when you were asleep.

genres: angst, fluff

a/n: that’s totally fine and i understand you, anon :) also thank you, i actually thought about not using my real name as i thought it would be confusing for someone (i hope not)

you’ve been so tired, so overwhelmed and done with everything that you thought you just might lay on your bed for weeks. you turned your head, looking on your arm. you could see several wounds before lifting up your sleeve, right in the moment when you heard knocking at the door.

chaeryeong and ryujin behind her back opened the door, looking at you with… sadness in their eyes? you got up, smiling at them softly, when they sat down beside you. “are you feeling good?” chaeryeong asked. “you seemed like very tired recently.” ryujin finished, as her hand was on your thigh. you only nodded, still smiling at them. ryujin and chaeryeong looked concerned, furrowing their brows. “you know you can tell us everything, right?” younger girl asked, looking in your eyes. “i know, i just feel sleepy, that’s all.” you said, imitating to rub your eyes.

they nodded, before kissing you softly and leaving you alone. you sighed, rubbing your fingers through your hair. maybe you indeed should get some sleep, as you barely slept in… two, or was it three days already? you couldn’t tell exactly. closing the curtains, you laid down, closing your eyes and almost immediately falling asleep.

ryujin carefully opened your room’s door, silently walking in, being followed by her girlfriend. they saw you sleeping, and the first thing that caught their attention was your rolled down sleeve, revealing all your wounds. they have already noticed changes in your behaviour, hoping their last that it wouldn’t be the worst scenario they could think of, but as it turned out, it was it. recent wounds were still there, not so noticeable were scars that you had even before.

it was only one hand, they were scared to look at the second one, while chaeryeong grabbed ryujin, burying her head in her neck, silently crying. ryujin felt so heartbroken at the sight, while she rubbed chaeryeong’s back.

you woke up late, almost at 4 pm, as you turned to the other side, you saw your girlfriends sitting beside your bed. “ryu? chae?” you asked, looking at them. they looked down at you, you saw chaeryeong’s eyes tearing up, while ryujin looked at you with sadness in her eyes. something was not right. your sleeve… your sleeve rolled down while you were asleep and they seemingly walked in not in the right time.

you tried to cover your arm, when ryujin stopped you. you looked at her with fear, fear of being judged and seeing disgust on her face, but anything you could see was… heartbroken expression on her face. chaeryeong carefully approached you. “y/n… you know you can share with us any kind of secret, right?” she said. you nodded, looking down, not able to look at her.

“please… please look at me y/n.” she whispered and you did. she still hold back in tears, but you saw smile forming on her lips, before she spoke. “we can go through everything together, y/n. even if the whole world will be against you, there will be just the three of us. do you remember that?” chaeryeong said, and you felt tears falling down of your face. she leaned forward to kiss your cheek, as ryujin did the same.

you wrapped your arms around their necks, still sobbing. you knew your girlfriends loved you and you loved them multiple times more. chaeryeong and ryujin fell asleep in your room, cuddling you, as you fell asleep again, but now with your loved ones.

[fujopup]

AFAB!reader x sub Takemichi

(A/N: I havent written a ff in so long 😭)

CW: Femdom, edging, degradation, feminization.

You decided to bring your boyfriend Takemichi with you to the mall. You were some what nervous because this would be the first time takemichi goes to Victoria's Secret with you. Usually you would go with Hina or Mitsuya so they could help you find cute lingerie.

As takemichi was ranting about how annoying costumers can be at the dvd shop you spotted a familiar store just by the jewelry shop.

"Hey michi I need to stop by this store real quick, you can wait outside if you want to."

"Thats fine (y/n), I'll come inside with you incase you need something" he smiles and follows you inside. As soon as he stepped inside his face slowly became red, seeing all this lingerie in person was making him feel some type of way. He's seen it before in his porno mags but he'd never imagine actually being a store full of them!

As you guys walk around more you see a set of lingerie that peaks your intrest. It was this bra made out of ribbon and baby pink panties that came with a mesh mini skirt. Clutching your purse while thinking to yourself you let your mind wander for a bit. Thinking about how cute it would look on your precious Michi you picked up the set and grabbed Takemichis hand.

"Hey michi lets go to the dressing room okay?

He noded while you  dragged him throughout the store to the dressing rooms. "Hey (y/n) let me know when your done changing-" You yanked him into the dressing room. "Silly michi I want you in here with me for a reason~" you said playfully before placing your purse down on the bench.

"Wait hold on (y/n) I know we seen each other naked before but I really should be waiting for you outside the room..." He nervously let out. Looking at him you saw his eyes dart around the bleek white walls of the changing stall, trying desperately to not see your body. It was cute seeing him all flustered. You walked up to him and got close to his ear, your voice barely above a whisper croaked out

"Take your clothes off now."

As you whispered that into his ear you gently blew on it. You gave it a nibble before giggling slightly and sitting down on the bench. Takemichi then became a stuttering mess while unbuttoning his shirt.

"(y/n) were in public though..." he meekly said under his breath. You caught what he said though and decided to show him how to be a good boy for you.

"Michi baby I haven't done anything so why are you saying that like we were about to have sex huh?~" you grab his chin and lift it up so your directly staring in his eyes. "Instead of complaining why dont you be a good boy for me huh?♡" the tone of your voice was sweet but laced with annoyance.

You could feel his heart thumping like crazy, granted you never did something like this before with him so its a reasonable response. You grabbed the lingerie and put it in his hands.

"Put these on kay?♡"

The look on his face was priceless. You couldn't tell which expression came first. The look of confusion on his face or the look of disbelief. That didnt matter for long though as you saw his cheeks light up in embarrassment as he took in what you said. You felt your cheeks warm up at this and started to feel giddy.

As he put on the lingerie set you couldn't help but fawn over how smooth he was. Takemichi really didnt grow body hair like that so seeing his smooth body in all baby pink lingerie while looking so embarrassed was turning you on as the seconds passed.

"Goodboy michi! You put it on without any issue, you look so cute in this♡" you pet his head for a brief moment and step back. His cute pink nipple were perked up and his cock looked so pretty behind the satin panties.

"(yyy/nnn)!" He wined out as he rubbed his legs back and forth. "Aww is my baby feeling embarrassed? Thats so cute" you walked infront of him and stuck your hand out. You then started to flick and pinch on his nipples making him sharply inhale and shake his body. As you kept tugging and pulling on them takemichis grunts turned into soft moans.

As you get ready to let them go you feel something poke your leg. You looked down and saw his dick peeking out of the panties, his cre cum starring to leak out. "What happened to your embarrassment michi? Dont tell me your actually getting turned on by being in womens lingerie." You smirked at him as your index finger flicked his tip.

"M'not getting turned on by tHAT-" he cries out as you start to jerk him off. You start to crush his dick a little bit loving the sounds thats coming out of him. Everytime his moans were getting higher and higher you'd stop completely and watch him desperately hump the air.

His legs started to give out on him so you guided him to the chair and resumed the edging on his dick. This time though you noticed his eyes getting wet with tears as his choked sobs filled the air.

"oh (y/n) let m-me cum please! I'll be a good boy just let me cum." He cried out. You looked at him and smirked. You let out a small giggle and started to stroke his cock twice as fast. Smearing his pre cum around his tip you brought your mouth 2 inches away from the head and blew on it. This made him jerk his hips up so high and you heard this long mewl come from his lips.

"Michi baby I'll let you cum okay?~ I pinky promise♡" The brunette was so overstimulated he didnt catch how your tone changed while saying that. You kept pumping his dick, the pre cum making squelching noises as you went faster and faster.

"Fuck (y/n) im gonna cum m'really gonna cum!" As he was reaching his climax he felt all warmth from his dick go away in a instantly.

"Now now we cant have you cumming just yet ta-ke-mit-chy♡~" you sung out in a playful yet sinister voice. You got up and brushed your self off. The noise your michi made made you cream on the spot. His desperate whine made you want to laugh in his face and tease him forever and ever. He started crying as he desperately tried humping you leg.

You slapped his dick swiftly and stared at him. "Bad boy! Who gave you permission to hump me like a bitch in heat." You wrapped your hand around his neck and squeezed slightly. "The next time you do something without my permission I'll spank your ass so hard everyone outside the store will be able to hear you." You let him go and handed him his clothes.

"Lets go michi! I'll pay for the lingerie with my card." You grabbed your purse and helped takemichi dress himself. It was very awkward paying for the lingerie as everyone saw takemichi leaning on you for support due to his boner still being semi erect. As y'all made it back to the car you realized that he was still erect.

Part 1 end.

[underneaththe-waterfall]

How do I put up with you?

Why is there barely and Bambam angst ?like anywhere?😖

summary: You and bambam have an argument as he says you are buying to many clothes. You both end up having an argument which leads to Bambam fucking you until you fall asleep.

CONTAINS: ANGST  , SMUT , FLUFF. ALSO  (hair pulling and oral sex )

F/N= friends name

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I BUY TO MANY CLOTHES” you say sitting on the couch with your arms crossed and an expression on your face that was starting to scare Bambam. This whole thing started when Bambam saw you walk into the house with like 6 bags of clothes and an extra bag full to the brim with makeup. Its not that Bambam doesn’t like it when you shop and neither is he stingy , but he had noticed lately how often you went shopping and by now his whole wardrobe along with your own was full of your clothes. 

It started with Bambam speaking to you calmly but it all just rubbed you the wrong way and you got defensive and by now you both were yelling in each others faces .”DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT I HAVE TO HANG MY CLOTHES IN THE TOILET BECAUSE I HAVE NO SPACE IN MY WARDROBE BECAUSE OF YOU”.  In the beginning of this argument when Bambam began yelling at you it shocked you as it was very uncommon for him to yell at you, but now you wanted to fight back. 

“THEN WHY DONT YOU BUY YOURSELF ANOTHER WARDROBE!” at this point Bambam felt so angry he felt like he was gonna explode. You were really taking this too far. “You buy all this stuff out our shared account and were gonna go bank corrupt soon and we all know who contributes the majority of the money in the account and its clearly not you.” Bambam replies in an annoyed tone clearly stopping himself from yelling.

This crossed the line for you. Bambam knew how insecure you were about you job as a fashion designer as you were still a beginner so you weren’t really making a lot of money. Instead you were stuck being an assistant for another fashion designer who payed you very less. Despite how less your pay was you still always put it in your and Bambams shared account so it was fair for the both of you. This truly hurt you because there was no way you were expecting that from Bambam. 

You remained silent now just looking at the floor trying not to cry, It was getting too difficult as now your eyes were stinging and your throat was closing up because of how badly you wanted to cry. From the corner of your eye you could see Bambam watching you. You kept your gaze on the floor as you walked out the living room straight to your and Bambams bedroom and locked the door. You heard him say something but you were so blanked out that you didn’t even hear. As soon as you entered the room you let it all out. You laid there on the bed and cried. You had been told many times by fans and others that you were just a failure and fashion designers earnt  nothing and thats why you were with Bambam;because you were a gold digger and just wanted him for his money. 

This was always a part of your relationship that made you feel insecure. You didn’t like the fact that bambam had to pay for if not all, most the things you bought. Even your mum had told you to get a real job. So now was the time you got a real job. Your friends family owned a cafe and she always offered you a job there so you both could work together. You declined the offer kindly and decided to follow your dreams. But you were clearly not living in the real world if you thought you could just follow your dreams and become whatever you wanted. At this point you needed money. You didnt want to spend any of Bambams money from now on. Especially not after how he reacted. 

So you called your friend and it took less then two rings for her to pick up and answer in a cheerful tone “HELLO OMG WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU HAVENT SPOKEN TO ME SINCE AGESSS” you chuckle at her excitement and answer back “F/N i just spoke to you yesterdayy” she let out an over exaggerated sigh and answered “Anyways why did u call its not like you to call me when your with your fancy boyfriend .”You roll your eyes at her even though she couldn’t see and laugh. 

“Umm, can I work at your cafe from tomorrow I know this is very short noticed but-” she cut you off with an excited squeal and she answered “OFCOURSE YOU CAN IM LITERALLY THERE RIGHT NOW AND ITS SO BORING” you smile at her answer. You were truly lucky to have her. ”Okay ill be there  tomorrow morning” you respond. You could hear a customer behind her and she answers back in a rush “Okay ill see you i gtg” and before you could even answer she cut the phone. 

You fell back on to the bed and let out a breath you hadn’t realised you had been holding. You would no longer spend Bambams money. You lay there in a bed for a while before you heard a timid knock on the door. So now was when he had decided to apologise. You ignored him before the knock turned a little louder. After ignoring it for a while you heard him twist the door handle and let out a sigh .”Can you open the door I just wanna have a shower.” You were dumbfounded. He really just wanted a shower? You went and opened the door not even looking at him for a second before laying back down on the bed and going on your phone. Bambam was just as stubborn as you and also didn’t spare you a glance as he headed to the wardrobe in front of you. You watched him from behind as he opened the wardrobe .A bag of your clothes that you had just bought recently fell out of the wardrobe and all your clothes in the bag fell on the floor. 

Bambam looked back at you as if to prove his point but you quickly closed your eyes not wanting him to think your paying any attention to him. He let out a groan and began picking up your clothes that had fell on the floor and put them back in the bag that you lazily hadn’t gotten rid of. He began looking through his clothes and took out a pair of grey shorts and a loose black shirt. You watched him as he took out his towel and shut the drawer. Even though you were really angry at him you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him. This time when he looked back at you , you didn’t look away. You looked at him as he looked back at you with a blank expression. He looked away quickly heading to the bathroom.

By the time Bambam got out it was beginning to get dark. You headed to the bathroom as soon as he got out and had a long warm shower. Usually you would wear one of his shirts or hoodies but today you didn’t want to. Instead you wore one of your own loose shirts and headed to the bed after turning off the lights. Even in the dark you could see that Bambam was already half asleep .You thought to yourself ‘am i petty enough to sleep on the sofa or make him sleep on the sofa?’ You decided to against it as you were not in the mood to get back pains especially when you had work tomorrow. You also decided that there was no point telling Bambam that you have work tomorrow. He would probably be glad that you would no longer have to spend his money anyways. (you were wrong)

You laid down on your side of the bed instantly wrapping yourself around the blankets and it felt so good after a long day of arguing with bambam. You were laying there in your own thoughts until you felt an arm wrap around your waist pulling you closer. Bambam always done this in his sleep and usually you found it adorable but not today. You took his arm and not so gently removed it from your waist moving further away from him. But all your effort went down the drain as he pulled you close again and mumbled something in his sleep. You decided there was no point moving him away any longer as it would result in you staying up all night. You got yourself comfortable in Bambams arms (even though you didn’t want to) and fell asleep in seconds. 

You woke up to the sound of your alarm going off extremely loudly and a grumpy looking bambam sitting crossed leg on the bed with his arms crossed staring at you. He had a pout on his face and he seriously looked like he was about to cry. For a second you nearly forgot about yesterday and were about to jump onto and cuddle him but then you stopped yourself. The alarm went of so you could get ready for work. You turned off the alarm and you could feel Bambams eyes on you. When you finally looked at the time you realised you didn’t have long left and that you should begin getting ready.

Bambam finally spoke as he saw you get up from the bed in a rush. “Where are you going.” You honestly didn’t want to reply but you didn’t want to have disturbed his sleep to not even tell him the reason why. ”I have to go to work.” he looked deep in thought for a second before he spoke again “But you have no work on Saturday”.You groaned and answered him “Well now I do and you should be glad because ill no longer spend your money and ill pay you back all of the money you’ve spent on me dont worry.” 

He had nothing to say. Bambam did not expect you to take everything so seriously. He didn’t want you to overwork yourself and there was no way you could pay him back for all the money he spent on you. It was simply too much. Bambam didn’t meet your eyes as you left for the bathroom. He waited for you to get out the bathroom and the second you walked out he cornered you against the wall with both his arms on either side of your head. 

“Your not going work. ”He says firmly looking at you in such an intense way that you had to look away. You adjusted your towel under his stare and spoke “I do. Now move out of the way i’m gonna get late.” He looked at you for long enough for you to finally look back at him. He looked angry and it was clear to you it was getting hard for him to remain calm. You moved around so you could get away from him but he wouldn’t budge. 

This whole thing was starting to annoy you. First he told you that you waste all his money and now that you wanted to make more money for yourself he wasn’t letting you do it. You couldn’t understand what was wrong with him. “OMG WHATS WRONG WITH YOU IM GONNA GET LATE TO WORK BECAUSE OF YOU , SO FUCKING ANNOYING UGH.” You screamed in his face whilst hitting his chest with your fists and he didn’t even flinch for a second. You hadn’t even realised that you were hitting his chest until he held both your wrists with his hands. 

Now he looked really pissed of. He tightened his jaw as he spoke “How dare you speak to me like that.” The confidence you had a second ago had now all disappeared. You looked away from his as he spoke , your wrists still in his hold. When he saw that you weren’t gonna answer him, his hold on your wrists tightened and you let out a whimper. It was clear that you had pissed Bambam off too much. There was no way he was going to let you get away with this. 

“Take off your towel and get here” he says while he lets go of your wrists and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. You didn’t want to annoy him even more by not doing as he said so you began to strip yourself of your towel as he watched your every move. You tried to hurry as you quickly took of your panties after your towel and walked towards him feeling very exposed. 

He motioned for you to lay across his lap so your ass would be right in front of him on his lap. Now you knew exactly what was about to happen. ”Good” You hear Bambam say as he rubbed his hands all over your ass occasionally squeezing your skin. You were laying there your eyes getting droopy until you felt a harsh slap on your ass that made you jolt awake. You let out a whine as Bambam messages the spot he just hit .You could still feel the sting of the previous slap until he slapped the same spot again .He began messaging the spot again and by now you had tears in your eyes. He gave your ass a last strong slap before he told you to get off his lap. The last hit was so bad that tears began to fall from your eyes and you let out a groan. 

When you stood up the pain on your ass magnified and you winced at the feeling. Bambam also stood up after you and you felt so small in front of him. He towered over you as he spoke “Get on all fours on the bed.” You done what he said immediately getting on your hands and knees on the bed. You waited for him to do something as you couldn’t see him. You heard some shuffling and by the time you saw Bambam he was only wearing his boxers and getting onto the bed. 

You could see his bulge through his black boxers and you wondered to yourself how long hes been hard for. You faced forward as he was on his knees right behind you. You felt his hand wonder around your ass and you winced at how sensitive your ass had become. His hand wondered up all the way up your spine to your neck. He pushed your neck down and you took that as a sign to move your head to the bed and then his hand reached to the centre of your back. You understood what he meant and you arched your back. 

After you were in position Bambam moved his finger down to your pussy moving your wetness around. He had no idea that this whole situation would arouse you so much. He moved his head in between your legs from behind you instantly licking the lips of your pussy. You tried your best not to make a sound as his tongue didn’t go in but licked the outside of your pussy. He used two of his fingers to open your lips and he began drinking up all your wetness. He was moving his tongue so fast and his fingers were also circling around your clit. You felt like you were gonna pass out. 

For what felt like an eternity ,Bambam continued to eat you out and by now your legs were giving out and you felt like you were about to cum. You let out a particularly loud moan as his tongue circled around your entrance and you moved your hips back onto his face out of desperation to reach your orgasm. He held your hips firmly now stopping all movements of your hips and continued .As your orgasm approached your body began slightly shaking and Bambam knew you were about to cum. He moved his face away suddenly and you let out a whine now feeling extremely needy. 

“Did you really think it was that easy?” He says with a small chuckle and you let out a groan in response. It was clear that he had pulled down his boxers as now you could feel the tip of his cock circling around your pussy. You could come just from the feeling of that. You could feel how hard bambam was and you had no idea how he could remain so composed even though he was rock hard. You wanted him to fuck you so bad , you moved your hips back and let out a needy wine. You heard Bambam mutter “What a slut” as he moved the tip of his dick to your entrance. He pushed it in all the way in one go and you let out the loudest moan you had let out that night. 

You felt intoxicated as bambam held onto your hips tightly as he thrusted into you hard and fast. You could feel his anger and hurt through the way he was moving. Bambam pulled your hair making your back arch even more as he fucked into you. You could hear his grunts and it was all getting too much for you. Your legs couldn’t keep you up any longer as you were about to cum. 

Bambam could see that your legs were about to give out so he held you up his grip tightening around your hips as he moved his hips even faster.” Aagh im gonna cum” you say in between breaths and it was getting too hard for you to speak. You heard him hum as he sped up pushing your head into the bed as he continued to fuck you. 

With another harsh thrust you could feel Bambam reaching deep inside of you and you let out a whine as he hit your special spot. He noticed this and continue to thrust into the same spot until you screamed out his name as you came. Bambam was really close to and he slowed down a little in case you felt very sensitive.When he couldnt control himself any more he took hold of your hands putting them behind your back as he held your wrists. He fucked you even harder letting out all his built up anger and with a grunt you could feel Bambam filling you up. 

He pulled out as you collapsed onto the bed completely breathless and you both were covered in sweat .He laid down beside you not looking at you. You remained silent until he spoke “You don’t need to over work yourself. Theres no shortage of money.” You didn’t say anything as sleep was begining to take over you.You didnt know what bambam said after that as you fell into deep sleep not even caring about the argument anymore. 

Bambam looked to see if you were still awake as he wanted to apologise but he smiled when he saw you now completely asleep. He felt guilty for saying the stuff that he did but he seriously no longer had any space of his own. He moved a piece of hair that had fallen on your face and noticed how exhausted you looked. He placed a gentle kiss on you lips and got up to get a towel. 

He returned to your sleeping figure on the bed and tried to clean you as gently as possible. You were so deep in your slumber that you didn’t even move an inch as Bambam pulled your legs apart in order to clean you properly and to remove his cum from your body. After he had cleaned you up he heard the sound of your phone ringing and decided to check who it is. It was F/N. Bambam picked up the phone to hear immediately “ OMG Y/N WHERE ARE YOUU I TOLD MY MUM YOU WERE COMING TO HELP TODAYYY , SHE WAS SO EXCITED SHE EVEN-” Bambam cut her off by answering. He had realised that you were about to start working at your friends cafe.”Uh hi its bambam , Y/N’s asleep right now and she wont be coming today ill let her know you called.” Bambam was hoping your friend wouldn’t get upset that you weren’t coming. After a second F/N replied “Ah um okay let her know I called” and after that she immediately cut the phone. 

Bambam laid down next to you and let out a sigh whilst wrapping his arms around you. He smiled as he pulled you closer and mumbled “stupid” with a chuckle .”I love you” he said before he also fell asleep.

MASTERLIST

[krxideprnz-archive]

Idk if my message went through cause my internet sucked, but since he doesn’t have a technical age....

Can I request a sub Mahito x dom reader smut.

He would be such a brat and I live for it.

I just wanna peg his pretty ass into oblivion and just wreck him.

I wanna watch him cry and scream as I deny his orgasim a few times and have him beg.

I wanna break him and watch his pretty face turn red.

Since I’m kinky asf, he would totally have a praise kink and be really into roleplay.

Also I have a mommy kink so yeah...

As to how this all occurs, it’s up to you! And sorry if you got this request from me more than once, once again my internet was pretty crap

Oh my god I really hope this is alright because I just absolutely despise Mahito 😔😔 but I tried to push these feelings away somehow.

I hope you enjoy this hun 🥰

Sub! Mahito x Dom! Reader

This includes content not suited for minors

Includes - master and servant talk/orgasm denial/mommy kink/pegging

A cup of coffee was placed next to you on the table by Mahito, who was currently staying at your place.

Since the the two of you started dating, he insisted on staying at your place, and who were you to say no to that pout of his?

But the time with him turned out to be better than you expected it to be, and he was surprisingly thankful for his new living space. 

“Well aren’t you a nice little servant?” you spoke, jokingly, as you placed a little bit of sugar in your beverage. 

You could see Mahito pause his movement before clearing his throat. 

“Servant?” He giggled, trying to cover up the rush of excitement that filled his body at your words. 

You watched him closely, surely something had happened that got him all excited, and you were sure you knew what it was, ready to use it fully to your advantage.

“Don’t tell me you like it when I call you that?” You smirked, turning in your chair to face him completely.

He swallowed hard before shrugging his shoulders, still an attempt to show that he wasn’t affected.

“I was just surprised”

“Okay, then I order you to leave. Your master has to work now” you winked at him, working to slowly get him to admit he was turned on, even though it was painfully obvious.

Mahito still stood where he was as he spoke; “come on. You know I get turned on when you call me that”

“How am I supposed to tell? You said you were just surprised” you stated, crossing your legs and still looking at him with a exaggerated oblivious look. He sighed, a small pout forming on his face. It was clear that he was becoming impatient, so he decided to finally voice his thoughts;

„Please Master... call me Servant once more“ he finally slipped into his role, bright eyes staring back at you as a small grin graced his features. He pushed all your buttons just right, so you stood up and gestured for him to follow you into the bedroom.

You could practically feel the excitement radiating from his body as he entered your shared bedroom. He stood by the bed, waiting for your next oder like the obedient servant he was.

„Get on the bed, now“ you spoke, watching as he lowered his body onto the matress, expectantly staring up at you.

You began to undress him, relieving him of every arcticle of clothing covering his pale skin. Your fingers traced over the marks covering his body, touching every sensitive spot you know he liked.

He was sighing in content, feeling your digits on his body and your face hovering dangerously close over his, breath fanning over his parted lips.

„Touch me more“ he spoke, Mahito was craving for your touch, desperate to feel your skin on his, but he completely forgot the place he was in. A slap to his thigh was the thing that snapped him out of his daze.

„What was that for, (Y/N)?“

„Know your place. You don’t tell me what to do here. And thats Master for you“ you ordered.

His breath hitched in his throat when he watched you get up and move away from the bed. At first he was scared that you would leave him here since he disobeyed, but soon, you came back with a very familiar item placed in your hand.

He gazed at the strap on in your hand as you walked towards the bed again, hips swaying with each step you took. You also began to undress yourself, exposing more and more of your body to Mahito, who was watching every single movement like a hawk, admiring your soft curves and features.

You threw the fabric to the side and stepped into the strap to secure it around you.

„Look at you getting all excited, I havent even done anything yet.”

You could see his cock begin to harden. You got in the bed next to him, laying on the bed, he still had to do some preparation.

„Well. Serve me first. Suck“ you gestured to the toy.

„Hey come on. Im not gonna-“

„You wanna get fucked or not? You’ll have to be a good boy if you want to“ you spoke, and he hesitantly crawled further down to take the toy into his mouth.

The dildo was covered with his spit as he sucked on it further, his tongue licking over the shaft.

„Prepare it real good, honey, so I can fuck that tight little ass of yours thoroughly.“

His breath got caught in his throat and he gagged when you began to fuck up into his mouth.

Small tears formed in the corners of his eyes and he looked up at you, generous as you are, you let him take a short break to speak.

„Im ready!f-fuck please...“ his dick was dripping precum on the sheets, forming a small wet spot on the soft sheets. You tapped your finger against your chin, pretending to think about your answer, even though you already made up your mind.

„Okay Servant. But one more condition. Ride on this cock like the needy little thing you are“

A faint blush coated his cheeks but he still complied, positioning himself over the dildo before looking at you confirmation. When he saw you nod, he lovered himself onto the toy, taking him slowly until you completely bottomed out.

„Hngh-ah!“ at first he felt nothing but pain, he felt like he was being torn in half by the sheer girth of the dildo, but at the same time he felt unbelievably good, shaking on top of you while youre grinning up at him.

„M-Master--“

„I want you to call me Mommy, can you do that for me?“ you cooed and thrusted up into him. His head fell to the side with a breathy moan as the pain he felt slowly contorted into pure pleasure.

„fuck..Mommy!“

„Yes, let everyone know whos making you feel this good“

He started to bounce up and down on the strap, grabbing onto your shoulders for support.His nails dug into your skin, creating small crescent marks on your skin from the pressure.

Every time the toy reentered him, a loud pleasured moan escaped his throat at the intense sensation. Sounds of skin slapping against skin filled the room.

„Ah! My legs...“ he sighed when he started to feel a growing pain in his legs from all the harsh moving they had to support. You let out an exagerrated sigh, before turning the both of you around, so Mahito was underneath you, hair fanned out over the pillow, blush coating his cheeks and eyes glossed over. He looked ethereal.

His lips parted with every desperate sound he made, head falling back into the pillow as you set an even pace to pound into his walls. His hole was clenching around the toy, seemingly pulling it even further in.

His mouth fell open in a silent scream as the toy started to kiss his prostate, touching the sensitive spot with each following thrust.

„s-shit! Mommy! G-Ah!“ his eyes closed tightly as he felt his incoming orgasm, the familiar sensation in his body started to grow, threatening to push him over the edge any second now. And you could definetly tell from the way his moans got louder and louder- and his breathing staggered.

The only words that left his mouth were „Mommy“ or „more!“ and mumbled incoherent phrases.

You grabbed his dick tightly, denying his orgasm- and Mahito started to wiggle in your grasp. „Why- just- ngh!“ he cursed as he glared up at you, mad at the feeling of his orgasm dying down.

„You couldnt even fuck yourself until you came on this dick before your legs gave out, its pathetic“ he let out a small whine as he looked away to the side, seemingly emberassed by your statement.

He was about to talk back when you started to move again, tight hold on his erection never loosening. The headboard of the bed hit the wall with your fast movements, pounding inside of his tight ass with fevor.

Mahito felt your thumb touch his leaking tip, rubbing the precum over his sensitive head.

„Can I cum now-ngh..“ he blinked away his tears when your tight grip on him still didnt falter. His head thrashed around as yet another orgasm was denied from him. His cock was now painfully throbbing and your pace only fastened, dragging along his walls and hitting his prostate in the most pleasuring way possible.

„Okay okay... god youre so impatient.“ you rolled your eyes and hesitantly let go of his erection, building him up to another fast approaching high.

It only took him a few more thrusts to feel the familiar feeling slowly build up again.

Your mouth lowered to play with his nipples, wich pushed him over the edge when he felt the sensation of your tongue over his sensitive buds.

He came with multiple high pitched moans of your name, body trembling in bliss as you continued to fuck him through his high.

„Thank you Mommy- I need more of you-!!“ he was still craving for your attention-, the intense feeling of your harsh thrusts.

Tears were building in his eyes, rolling down his flushed cheeks.

Who were you to deny your little Servant?

[obsessive-ego]

Wait? Demons go into heat?

Unestablished musical Beetlejuice x reader

Nsft

Beej goes into heat for the first time while knowing you

Dubious consent and masturbation warning

"Y/n, we need to talk"

You look up from your phone and quirk a brow at the statement, it was weirdly serious for your friend, at first you assumed he was getting ready to mess with you or something, until you noticed the purple hue that has taken over his form.

"Are you okay?" You utter softly

The demon sits down next to you on the couch and sighs

"Okay, y/n, I am going to go away for a bit" he refused to look at you, his voice was small and very unlike him, but this made sense, you knew beetlejuice didnt like going to the netherworld on his little business trips, so this behavior started to make more sense.

"Oh okay-"

"I just dont want to hurt you"

What? You freeze.

The ghoul sighs again, before finally meeting your eyes and gently grabbing your hands

"Y/n I'm going into heat next week and I need to be away from you-"

You snort out a laugh, pulling your hands from the ghoul's grasp, so this WAS a joke, going into heat?

Your laughter was short lived when beetlejuice grabbed your shoulders to get you to focus on him.

"Y/n I'm not kidding"

focusing back to the ghoul, it was obvious he was serious, spots of red peaking through the purple was a grim reminder he wasnt joking.

"I-"

"I'm a demon y/n, I'm gonna go into heat, and all I'm gonna do is want to fuck, and I dont trust myself to be around you, I'm gonna go away till it's over, and I NEED you NOT to say my name, just promise me that"

You nod

Never in your time of knowing the ghoul was he ever so serious, honestly it was scary, was his heat so bad he'd just jump you without consent? IT'S best not to dwell on it.

...

It's been a few days since beetlejuice disappeared for your own safety, it wasnt so bad, before he left he was very fidgety and practically glowing pink, the hug goodbye was awkward, the ghoul held you longer then normal and let out a soft whine, guess his cycle was starting.

You couldnt help but daydream about how hot it would be to have the demon rail you senseless in his heat, yes you had a crush on him, but you sure as hell weren't ready to express those feelings, especially during his heat cycle.

The week goes by, you enjoy your silence, and are very productive, it's not like you dodnt enjoy Beetlejuice's presence, it's just not easy to get chores done with him being under foot. You always took the opportunity to get stuff done when beetlejuice wasnt around, you loved him yes, but alone time was important, between getting stuff done, and just relaxing his absence was nice, though you did miss him, but as the week went on, you could help but forget as to why the demon had to vanish, work was rough, and as exhaustion took over your body, peices of your discussion fell to the side of your tried brain, something about heading to the netherworld for a bit, a business trip probably, not that you believed the demon HAD a real job anyways.

As the week comes to an end you go into auto pilot mode, friday was the end of a work week and you and Beetlejuice's movie night.

Coming home from work you had only one thing on your mind, lazing about with your friend and watching shitty horror movies. Everything you did was on auto pilot, tossing your bag aside as you head to your bedroom to swap out your work clothes with something much more cozy, fuzzy pajama pants and a baggy shirt.

You wander from your room tapping away on your phone, ordering the pizza you and beej normally share, you always payed ahead and let the demon believe him scaring off the delivery guy ment free food, you enjoyed Beetlejuice's awful jokes, and that wide toothy grin he gave you when he assumed him scored the two of you a free meal, but in all good consciousness you couldnt let that happen, you'll just the demon believe he's doing you a favor WHILE he's showing off.

You plop down on the couch, everything was set for a fun night of hanging with your pal, you havent seen him all week, for the life of you, you couldnt remember as to why beetlejuice wasnt around, something about going to the netherworld? Probably another business trip, whatever he was always so mopey when he had to leave, he'd probably be thrilled to have a easy hang out right? Well it's been a week and if beej wasnt done with whatever nonsense he had to take care of he could leave, simple as that.

You get up from the couch and holler "beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice"

The lights flicker, then go out completely, you huff through your nose, this wasnt new, been was all about making an entrance.

"Y/N"

you flinch at the tone, harsh and angry, not exactly how he tended to great you when summoned, he was messing with you right?

Unfortunately in the pitch dark you couldnt see him to confirm this thought.

Before you could do or say anything, you're pushed back into the couch

"Beetlejuice-" you cry,

"I missed you honey, couldnt stop thinking about that soft warm body of yours" he purred, you face burned with embarrassed, yes beetlejuice tended to flirt with you, but this felt different, more

Intense

"What?" You utter

Before you could elaborate you felt the weight of him crawling up onto your lap, the ghoul grabs your chin, the demon leans into your face, your eyes now accustomed to the dark you were able to make out a bit of the ghoul before you, just not enough to make heads or tails of what's going on, as the ghoul leans closer to you, pressing his weight against your trapped form, he takes a long inhale through his nose.

"Oooh~ I missed you so much baby~" he moans out in a whisper.

"Okay knock it off beej" you groan, clearly embarrassed and done with this embarrassing joke, as you try to shove the demon off, this whole charade of his, everytime you summoned him he would tease you and mess with you for a laugh, but being this weird? More legit? That was new, maybe he was just upping his game to.mess with you?

Your shoves were only greeted with a growl, you huff and finally shove beetlejuice off you completely, with ungrateful thud the ghoul hits the ground.

"Seriously Beej what's gotten into you?" You sigh walking away from him to turn on the lights.

The ghoul grows at you sudden absence, not that you noticed, with a click the room fills with light. You frown, beetlejuice was gone, great he was in a pranking mood, you sigh, it's been a long week and you just wanted to relax and watch an awful movie. With that thought you are knocked to the ground with a rough shove from the back, and with a shriek and a thud you land on your stomach, you freeze as you feel the weight being pressed against your back, the culprit had crawled onto your back, practically laying on top of you.

"Baby wants to play rough tonight huh? Daddy will allow it~"

"Beetlejuice seriously, I don't want to play these games i- oh fuck" it hit you, it finally clicked why you havent seen the demon in over a week, he told you, and you fucking forgot, you got to caught up in your own routine and exhausting life, you forgot.

"Uh, beej? Can you please get off-"

"Soon baby, I'll get off soon" the ghoul purrs in your ear, his body firmly pressed against yours, you freeze as you feel a sudden hardness poking between your butt cheeks, you could hear your heart pounding away in your ears, you like beetlejuice yes, but you weren't ready to tell him, let alone let him fuck you on the floor. You were frozen unsure what to do, been warned you, and you forgot. You could banish him, 3 times in a row is all you need, and when this cycle is over this will be something the two of you can laugh about right?

"you smell so good honey~" your pulled from your thoughts with the ghoul's gravely purr

"Beetlejuice beetlejuice bee-" your voice was small and shaky

You gasp and curse at the sensation of something cold and wet trailing up your neck

"And you taste even better~"

You try again "beetlejuice beetlejuice bee-" again you were cut short with a familiar hand cupping against your mouth

"I dont wanna leave baby" he groans, lightly grinding his ever herding cock against your ass "I missed you, I missed your warmth, I missed your scent, i missed your sweet voice, I'm sick of being alone, i need you y/n" his grinding picks up in pace, the ghoul practicallydry humping you into the carpet, you yelp and squirm, in which beetlejuice responds with a soft moan.

"Beej please" you cry, a weird mix of arousal and fear fill your chest, in all honesty, you could find this whole situation pretty hot, but not now.

With the cry of your voice the ghoul flips you over, having you lay on your back. You finally get a good look at beetlejuice, as he hovered inches above you, pinning you below him.

The ghoul's once Forrest green hair was now a wild electric pink, almost magenta, his pupils once round, now resembled the eyes of a snake. Beetlejuice was practically drooling, and though the demon didnt need to breath, you sure could hear him breathing hard almost panting. You've never seen your ghost like this before,so  this was heat? Again, other circumstances thos could be very hot.

"Bee?" Was all you could muster

The demon started back at you, wordless, it felt like forever until he closed the gap between you, burying his face in your chest, hands finding themselves placed along the hem of your pajama pants.

Beetlejuice was a mess, blabbering on and on "you smell so good, you feel so good, I need ya babes, I need ya bad, please let daddy fuck you" he whined, all the while he kept nuzzling your breasts. As if that was a distraction, the ghoul's hands began to tug on the hem of you pants, slowly he began to tug on them, slowly shimmying them down.

You were alerted to this action with the familiar squeeze of the demon's hand on your bum.

"Beej WAIT" you cry

Unfortunately on deaf ears, the ghoul continues his actions as your pants are finally removed and quickly tossed aside.

Your legs now fully bare were now free realestate to cold undead hands desperate for soft warm skin.

His his hands traveled up and down your legs, always stopping at the rear for a good long squeeze, you squirm and pant at the stimulation.

"You like that doll? You getting all hot under the collar with just a little touching~" he purred looking up for your chest.

You couldnt bare to look him in the eye, it was all too much, truth be told, you werent NOT enjoying his attention.

"Lawrence please-" you whine, not really sure as to what you were pleading, was it for him to stop? Was it for him to go further? So much was happening you felt like this really wasnt real.

But it sure as hell felt real when you felt the ghoul snap the waist band of your panties, you gasp and try to sit up, only to be pushed back down against the carpet.

The ghoul sighs and goes back to his babbling.

"I need this babes, I need you so much, I need you so bad it hurts, nothing else was good enough, I NEED you"

You could feel your ears burning at this, he really wanted you over anything else, it was probably just his heat talking, but in an odd way it was sweet.

You couldn't help but give the ghoul a soft smile at his desperate words, unfortunately the smile was quickly dropped and replaced with gritted teeth as you felt the demon's cold hands quickly yanking down your, now damp with arousal, panties.

"Beetlejuice STOP" you cry

Simple hum was your response

As the garment slowly made it's way down your legs you tried in vain to reason with the lust driven demon, all of your crys were responded the same, ignored.

As the garment made it to your ankles you made one last attempt to reason with beetlejuice

"Beetlejuice please, this isnt like you, just stop and we can just forget this-"

Before you could finish that sentence, as soon as the damp garment was free from your form, the ghoul vanished.

You prop yourself up on your forearms, glancing around the empty room, you slowly sit up on your bare bum, waiting, waiting for another knock down, ments pass and nothing.

You slowly and carefully get up off the floor, glancing around as you walk over to your pajama pants that were tossed aside, you gently slide them on, still staying vigilant.

As the night goes on you're on high alert, waiting to be tackled down or something, but as time dragged into the early early morning, it clicked, beetlejuice wasnt going to do anything else, you finally sigh in relief, and try not to think about how he vanished AFTER  your underwear were removed, and missing completely, you assumed they would have wound up as the same place as where your pants were thrown, unless, he took them with him, you cover your mouth and stare at the floor, you paise for a moment, mind swimming with all the lewd things he could be doing with them, this didnt help how you were all hot and bothered from the ghoul's early actions.

Slipping into bed that night, knowing beetlejuice was gone, you felt okay to tend to those desperate feelings between your legs, you carefully pull out your hidden vibrator and gingerly slip it beneath the covers and eagerly bring it to your desperate sex.

Of course

You werent the only one tending to a desperate need.

Beetlejuice now on the roof of your apartment building, a mix of purple and pink have taken over his form, your panties held tightly in his hand.

Did he feel like shit for losing control and jumping you? Yes

Was he glad your dumbass forgot and called him anyway so he could smell you and feel your soft warm skin? Also yes

Sitting on the edge of roof, not that anyone could see him, he takes the freshly woren garment to his nose and inhales the scent of your excited sex, the purple from the demon's hair is quickly replace with a mix of pink and magenta.

"You smell so good baby" he growls

His free hand fumbles with his pants trying to free his full erection, hell the moment he saw your face he was ready to go.

This wasnt the first time beetlejuice went into heat, not by a long shot, but it WAS his first time going into heat knowing you, and fuck, you were all he wanted.

Having you call him, smelling you, seeing you, feeling you, hearing your sweet voice, hes honestly surprised he didn't blow his load while he was humping that cute rump of yours, he drools remembering how he could feel your warm bum against his cold cock, the demon could only imagine how glorious your pussys warmth was gonna feel.

The night was long and lonely for the demon but the memory of you beneath him and the scent of your desire was enough to keep him content, bit next heat cycle? The demon will have you in his pocket and ready to help him out.

Bonus

Sunday

You wake up late and head to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and start your day, at the little table you had in your little kitchen sat beetlejuice, across from him was a hot and ready cup of coffee

"Morning" the ghoul said plainly, giving you an awkward smile, hints of purple popping up in his hair

"Morning" you respond softly sitting down across from the demon and accepting his 'peace offering'

The two of you sat in silence for what felt like an eternity before beetlejuice breaks it

"So about the other night-" he starts, averting your gaze and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Its fine, you werent yourself, you warned me, and I forgot"

The ghoul stares back at you, bug eyed and dumbfounded, was it really gonna be this easy?

"I guess you're back to yourself huh?" You try to make a positive note to this awkward situation

"Uh yeah, just kinda horny, not full on horny" he chuckles rubbing the back of his neck.

This was gonna be an awkward bump to get over.

[aki-simp]

Helping hand.

((A/N: Havent written in a while so I feel a bit rusty. This fic was part of a server collab that can be found here! ))

Tags; Megumi x Male!Reader, blackmail, voyeurism, is this dark content? Also nsfw bc Megumi diddles himself hehe 

Im sure I dont need to but just incase : Minors go away

Are there words to express the feelings upon watching the one you love moan the name of your classmate as they touch themselves? Surely there must, for whatever you’re feeling is… gut wrenching? Intriguing? Disgusting? Not so much the latter, you conceded as you watched him. Truly, it was anything but. 

You took note of the small shivers that wracked his lithe form, the furrow in his brow. The short heady huffs of air he released whenever he squeezed the base of his cock and the whine that accompanied it. In all his naked glory and whatever thoughts of Itadori plagued his mind, he still had yet to notice you. 

As usual. Megumi was a perceptive boy, but you felt it failed where it mattered. Every careful word, every sure action done to get his attention. Unintentionally thwarted by Itadori. You don’t blame him, Itadori is a sweet guy. But you can't say that Megumi’s blind eye to your affinity towards him doesn’t sting. As the thoughts of all the times you looked to Megumi only to find his eyes on Itadori swell to a heavy weight in your chest, you hear him groan. 

In the time your mind wandered (and you’re confused as to how, because Megumi is breathtaking) you see he has now made himself more…. Comfortable. The bench where he once sat he now lays on, his chest resting along the seat with his ass in the air, one hand slowly inching his long finger into his hole as the other continued its languid strokes along his cock. 

You watched his finger slowly disappear inside himself as the desperation dripping from his needy moans fills the small room, the sounds rousing your cock to an almost unfathomable degree. The light sheen of sweat gracing his forehead, the bright tint to his lips from being bitten to hold back moans topped with the small coat of saliva dripping from his mouth is almost too much. Truly a sight to behold, an eternal image you wished to have ingrained into your mind. It was amazing watching how effortlessly his fingers slid into himself, as if he’d done something like this many times before. And with his sudden cry upon hitting a certain spot, you can tell he has. 

Your hand travels to the front of your pants in an effort to quell the unbearable tightness, palming yourself you can feel your watery precum leaking through your boxers. Slowly pulling your cock out, you bite back a stinging hiss as the chilling air touches your head. As your eyes travel back to Megumi’s quivering form, you pump your hand in time with his fingers, imagining the feeling of his warm hole clenching around you. A heady breath is held in your chest, the air in the room reaching a stifling degree. 

Over the slick wet sounds of Megumi’s fingers in his hole and his wanton moans, it’s no wonder he couldn’t hear your soft pants just beyond the door. Lost in his own world that you very much wished to be the center of, the pang of jealousy returns to your chest once more when he moans a name once again that is not yours. Watching him with a seething envy of simply wishing he would notice you, wanting to be the one who he dreamed of, the one he pined for. The grip on your cock speeding up at the thought of marching up to him, prying his legs open and making him realize that Itadori is simply who he wants but you are what he needs. 

A gasp catches in your throat at the sinister idea that flies through your psyche. With the shaky hand not wrapped around your cock, you slowly reach into your pocket. It pains you to tear your gaze away from Megumi’s flushed and tear filled face, but you’d be able to see it again soon enough. You’ve had it for years, but the phone in your hand somehow feels different now. Be it due to the impending orgasm from watching Megumi in his most vulnerable and debauched state or the fact that your thumb hovered over the camera button with its lens angled right at Megumi’s perky ass, the device felt sacred. 

Taking a deep, focusing breath, you quickly check to make sure the flash is off before finally pressing ‘Record’. Swallowing, you zoom in on Megumi’s blissed expression just in time to see his eyes roll back, tongue lolling out from between his bitten red lips. The sultry moan of Itadori’s name makes you curl your upper lip, an urticate reminder that despite the show Megumi has unknowingly put on for you that it is not you who he touches himself to the thought of. 

As you watched the flush on his cheeks grow in colour, you could feel the blood rush to your cock, causing it to throb painfully. You kneel, feeling the cold floor in contrast to the rising heat of your body at seeing Megumi not only in front of you moaning without a care in the world but knowing it would be on your phone to view again and again; whenever and however you wish sent a feeling akin to euphoria rushing through your blood. It was almost too cruel, knowing how awful the boy would feel if he knew, but you love Megumi too much to hurt him, you think. Keeping the video to yourself for a while wouldn't hurt anyone, and you definitely weren't complaining. 

Your attention is drawn away from the screen view of Megumi to the real deal as he changes his position. This one hides his face, but the new angle ensures you a perfect view of his ass and the flushed leaking cock below it. Whether it was this new display of Megumi’s vulnerable state or the blood leaving your brain to make your cock throb, it seemed the wet squelches of his fingers desperately in search of something deep within his wet hole. Megumi must have thought the same thing as a string of stuttered curses leave his lips before being consumed by a heady groan. Even without seeing his face, you can tell he's drooling, you can imagine it coating his lips. 

A knot in your stomach threatens to burst as Megumi’s breathy pants grow. If it hadn't been for the fact that you knew he would never do something like this, you would almost believe he knew he was being watched. The arch of his back, the rock of his hips onto his nimble fingers and the hand furiously stroking his cock was enough to make a masterpiece. Megumi was beautiful, and you would show him. 

The hand stroking his cock picks up speed just as Megumi's breath stutters and you slowly, subconsciously lean in. At one last shrill cry of a name that isn’t yours, Megumi cums, a shuddering whiney and sweaty mess. The orgasm that makes its way through you almost makes you drop your phone, but you remember to keep it steady and  the look on Megumi's face as he sits up in his post orgasm bliss is worth it. Tears clinging to his lashes, the sheen of saliva on his lips, and a small red spot on his cheek from resting it on the bench, all coming together to create the perfect picture for you to reach your climax as well. 

A small taste of blood fills your mouth as you bite your lip to keep any noises at bay. You continue to watch him in your post orgasm haze, admiring his features as you always have. Although you still wished it had been you who Megumi cried out for, you let out a soundless laugh, shaking your head. Putting yourself back into your pants after closing the video, you take one last look at Megumi, as he also composed himself to leave. As he turns his back to the door, you silently slip out. 

The walk back to your room was quiet. Images of Megumi flashing behind your eyes as you aimlessly walked the halls. You look out one of the many windows adorning the halls to see a full bright moon. Before reaching your door, you make one last stop at a vending machine for a cool drink. The drink seems to help, soothing the last dregs of nervousness and anticipation before the light padding of footsteps reaches your ears. Quickly turning to the source of the noise, you look just in time to see Megumi slip by. Your gasp is interrupted by the liquid in your mouth, and Megumi turns to your coughing form. “Are you alright?” he inquires with a raised brow, half hearted sincerity laced in his voice. 

With a few quick, harsh thumps of your fist to your chest, you nod.  “Yeah,” you let out with a shaky voice. “Just caught off guard is all.” you finish with an unsure smile. He hums before looking you over. You watch his eyes travel down your form and you quickly glance down to make sure nothing looks out of place before looking back up to him, his eyes boring into yours. He blinks slowly, his eyebrows furrowed.

Shaking his head, he looks at you once more before asking “What are you doing out here so late?”. Taking a slow sip of your drink before letting out a fulfilling sigh, you look at him and shrug. 

“Eventful day made me a bit restless I guess.” you quip before turning to take your leave. He hums as you can feel him watching you as you walk away. You almost wish he could see the smile adorning your face, maybe then, the fake worry in his voice would finally lead to something more. Just like you’ve always wanted. 

——————————————————————-———————-———

              The next day during class, your mind wanders back to the night before. You attempt to keep your hands busy to keep yourself from growing hard in your slacks. And subconsciously to keep you from grinning at Megumi like a madman. You could practically feel your hands vibrate whenever you held your phone at the thought of what it stored. The smile that etched its way onto your face sadly did not go as unnoticed as you would have hoped for. Your head perks up when Gojo inquires what girl you were texting that made you so giddy before laughing. 

              You turn away from Gojo, shaking your head. As you make your way out of the classroom, you look at Megumi before stopping. “Hey.” You start, trying to keep your face neutral. The same thrum of adrenaline after last night coming back to you. When the boy in question looks up to the sound of your voice, you have to clench your fists to not allow any more of your emotions through. “Can I talk to you later? It’s not important, it's just…..” you let the sentence trail off, hoping he wouldn’t ask any questions. 

              And like the good boy you know him to be, he doesn’t. The boy solemnly nods before returning back to the work on his desk. Before leaving, you tell him you’ll stop by his room after classes. After hearing the door click shut, you begin a slow, deliberate walk back to your room in anticipation. Upon sitting on your bed, you take the time to stare at your ceiling, pondering what Megumi will say. What Megumi will do. The blush is imminent , he’s such a reserved guy that being face to face with video evidence of him in such a debauched state would surely fluster him. 

                Would he cry? Would he get angry? Try to fight you? The mental image of Megumi crying and clinging to you, begging you to delete the video made you sigh. Imagining his lashes heavy with tears, his bottom lip trembling as he stares up at you as if you held his life in your hands which, inadvertently, you practically did. The surge of pride that coursed through you at the thought of having him wrapped around your fingers almost makes you laugh. 

               Before long, the sounds of laughter and footsteps of students returning to their rooms pulls you from your power induced daydream. Standing from your bed, you let out one long steadying sigh before making your way to Megumi’s room. You spot Itadori along the way, he smiles telling you Megumi is already in his room. How wonderful. How obedient. 

                Gently knocking on his door, you stand and wait patiently for him to reach the door and the sight of him in casual wear softens your heart. You don’t have time to wonder how he changed so fast or why, but he ushers you into his room nonetheless. He motions for you to sit on his bed as he takes his place in a nearby desk chair. 

                He opens his mouth to speak, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “So…. you need something?” he questions as he watches you look around his room. The silence is stifling, making Megumi shift in his seat before looking at you again. “Look man, I don’t know what you-“

                “As a sorcerer, you should be more aware of your surroundings.” The interruption makes Megumi flinch, though he would deny it. Brows furrowed, Megumi goes to question exactly what you mean before you turn to him, the smirk you had been hiding all day on full display. “Don’t you think if you’re gonna finger your ass in a public place you should have the decency to at least make sure you’re alone?” 

                  All the daydreaming in the world could not prepare you for the look of shock and hurt that adorned the young man's face. The scoff you produce makes Megumi's blood boil, rushing to his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Cute. An expression of disgust takes over his features as he stands. He lets out a humorless laugh as he stands. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re a god damn pervert.” The shake in his clenched fists, the twitch of his eyebrow, you admire it all. It would almost be scary if this situation had not transpired because he quite literally got caught with his dick in his hand. 

                “If I’m a pervert,” you start, making your way to Megumi to stare down at him past the bridge of your nose. You swiftly grab his chin in one hand, and use the other to block the hand he tried to swipe at you with. “what would Itadori think of you?” The raw indignation from Megumi’s scowl was truly one of the better parts of this whole ordeal. 

                 You can feel him clench his jaw under your grasp, and his attempt to pull himself free from your grasp. “And why would you tell him? You’d look just as bad as I do, recording your classmate jacking off-“ his sentence cut short by the pained sound from you squeezing his jaw. The smirk you wore before is long gone, instead replaced with a cold stare that Megumi won’t soon forget. 

                 “You are loud. Just like you were last night. Calling out to a man who you and I both know doesn’t feel the same. Truly, Megumi. You’re better than this.” You shove him away, pushing him so that he stumbles onto his bed. He makes a move to stand again, but the steady hand on his chest and you standing between his legs stops him. “But this can be our secret. He doesn’t have to know, and you can continue crying and calling out to him all you want.” You chuckle, slowly pushing him down onto his bed and sliding your hand to his throat. 

                  He keeps his scowl on, but his labored breathing tells you another story. “For? I doubt you came all the way here just to laugh at me.” You smile at him, not as sinister as before, and slowly slide your free hand up his side. Megumi hates that he shudders, but he hates your laugh even more. You abruptly stand, walking to his door before looking at him over your shoulder. 

                “I’ll keep your dirty little secret so long as you don’t mind lending me a helping hand from time to time~” Megumi sits up, confused. He opens his mouth to ask what you mean before you close the door. You pull out your phone to send the illicit video to Megumi. The small chime of his phone and the anguished groan he lets out upon seeing that you had physical proof of his lapse in judgement, made the whole thing that much sweeter. Before walking back to your room once more, you send him a text. 

         “So I’m free this weekend. What about you?”

[tiens-letters]

upon autumns day, where you and I met. upon autumns day where I remember all of what we were before youve passed. and upon autumns day would I have ever so slowly let go of that pain of the past

zhongli (angst)

@albeidoof its somewhere here hehehe

Time was a luxury. A treasure each and everything holds.

Yet time is a curse as well. It covets, devours and leaves. which humanity neglects to cherish until the heart ceases its steady rythmn, only then do they regret of the wasted minutes, hours and seconds.

Beneath the flow of the rushing waves of things that have come and gone. Only on this particular day would he sit beneath a certain tree. The rough bark brushing up against his back as leaves fell effortlessly to the ground, as if it were ready to let go of from the branches that gave birth to it, only to return once again to the waiting soil.

It was a sunny afternoon, clear of any clouds and only clear unblemished blue, a good time to enjoy a warm cup of tea yet there was no energy in his bones to even move from where he was.

He felt exhausted. Desultory even.

Gone were the halcyon days of the past, and now the present time of the vivid reality he had to face.

Morax, rex lapis, the geo archon. Names that weighted more than one could carry, memories that shackled his soul that lived for a thousand years on end, all but a stain that could never be washed away.

The breeze slowly danced in, playing with his hair softly, kissing his skin and welcoming him. It carried a hint of aromatic essence only he would know belongs to.

You.

He tried to desperately recount the days after youve left the face of the earth and yet he could not remember or did his mind not allow him to as if he did, it would bring him terrible and heavy consequences for an answer, one sane mind would never want to know.

Sighing, he sat back and recalled back the memories of you instead. When you were alive, warm and breathing in his arms. He remembers the way your eyes would shine brightly whenever he would be around, or the small sound of delight you would make when you have finished another one of the many interesting blends of tea youve done over the course of a week of mixing different flowers and tea leaves. Youve made up quite the fortune with this as your little hobby bloomed into a fully run business known across teyvat.

"Zhongli." he froze, youve never called him by his name ever since youve started getting close, it made him feal uneasy as he turned to look at you who stood by the doorway, a neutral look on your face.

"y-yes?" nervousness clawed at him as he racked his brain to what he couldve done for you to call his name like that, he couldnt think of any.

"I came back from the market and I heard youve made quite the generous payment. Why is that, I wonder?" he's done it again, that spending habit of his

"The price was reasonable for such a fine ceramic tea set, I dont seem to find why it shouldnt reflect its quality?" you sighed as you pointed towards the glass cupboard behind him

"You bought the same exact set a week ago, Zhongli. Thats why." having to realize his mistake after looking over the two identical set that on the shelf, he turned to apologize but only to see you missing from the doorway. Footsteps can be heard from the floorboards above him. You were upset.

After minutes of pacing in the living room, he finally mustered the courage to climb the stairs and enter your shared bedroom. A figure already under the sheets as the warm glow of the lamp illuminated your delicate features. The mattress sunk as he sat beside you, fingers brushing away the stray hair that fell on your face.

"Im still mad at you Zhongli." his hand flinched slightly at the way you called him

"I apologize. I seem to not have learned my lesson again. I would gladly return the set tomorrow."

"Its no use, they dont accept refunds." you replied without sparing a glance at him

"What can I do for you to forgive me then?"

"Just go to sleep, Zhongli." groaning you reached for the switch to shut the lamp off but a gentle grip stopped you, forcing you to look at his gloomy expression. Perhaps you went too far this time.

"Please stop calling me in that way. I dont like it." he whispers, drawing your palm to his lips, leaving small kisses upon it. He sure does know his way around your heart, no wonder why you could not stay mad at him.

"Just be mindful next time." you cursed yourself for being weak to his charms.

"I will." yet something was missing "Then can you call me as you did before?"

"Zhongli?" you could see the slight grimace in his face as you teased him

"Stop it." he kissed you without warning "Call me as you did before."

However, his lips didnt stop as they began to travel. From your cheeks to you forehead and then to your neck. Oh dear, he wasnt having any of your teasing.

"A-li." you giggled beneath him as he finally stopped and met your gaze

"Thats better."

He still remembers the faint smile that graced your lips whenever he would wake up next to you tangled in the same sheets. The softness of your skin on his calloused touch. Your lips melting his and your voice lulling his raging mind to peace.

Then everything changed when you drew blood that spilled from those lips he's kissed for a thousand times, painting a morbid image on the sheets. Anger and despair boiled inside of him once he learned of the secret youve kept. Zhongli was a calm and collected man all of the time except when he was with you.

Having to witness him at such a point felt as if his own spear was being driven right through his very chest. He held you in an arms width away, the panic and pain in his eyes increasing over the minute as he begged for you to explain why youve decided to lie about the flowers that bloomed in your lungs, the sickness youve inherited from your deceased mother, whose fate you soon would follow. You didnt want him to find out, not in this way.

He couldve done anything if he knew from the start but alas, you wanted to be cruel, thinking it was for the best. Until your symptoms persisted, a heavy reminder of the remaining distance of the string you have to walk on to reach the end. The heavy feeling in your chest started to worsen as cherry sweet liquid poured from your mouth.

Soon the once pristine sheets were stained in haunting crimson shades as you heaved and he watched in agony. If only he had the ability of what he once had back then, if only he could plant the seeds of the flowers from yours to his then he would, if only he hadnt met you one autumn evening

" please dont look at me like that. " you told him, cold hands caressing his cheeks, catching the streams of salty warm beads that fell freely from your darling's amber eyes.

"Im sorry. Im so sorry..." the last thing you wanted to see was this man to cry. The last thing you wanted to see was to see him relive the past tragic memories you promised to bring him out of

" my disease has nothing to do with you. In the end it was mine alone to handle. oh, you are far from that so please dont you ever blame yourself."

"How can I not? If I havent fallen so deep then you would experienced so much more in life, you couldve been happier if you met someone else. Yet you chose me and I couldnt give you anything, I--. " the words knotted up as he began to shake, hands holding yours as knuckles turned to white

You slapped him.

With all the strength youve gathered in that fading body of yours. The sound cutting the grieving sounds that spilled from him, soul and flesh alike.

"A-li, look at me. Do I look like someone whose unsatisfied with what youve given me? Did my smile ever fade when Im with you? Did your affections ever lack? Answer me." his watery gaze met yours, a torrent of emotions swimming in them

"No. Never." a soft smile was carved unto your lips

"My dear, youve given me all Ive ever wanted in this life and I regret nothing of it."

To him, you were the flower that bloomed at the highest peak of the mountain he's never reached and yet its petals voluntarily detached and fell down, making him the happiest as one thing he's admired was untouchable and now, lay softly in the palm of his hands. To cherish and to protect.

But of course, all things are evanescent.

The familiar feeling of soreness that wasnt supposed to be there rose, ebbed and flowed through his throat. He knew it all too well, it was after he woke from his week long slumber did he feel it along with what his ancient beating heart felt.

"You collapsed." the worried words of the qixing echoed in his head. He frantically got up but as soon as his feet touched the floor did his legs give out underneath him, what use was he in this sorry state. He was helped up and sat back on the edge of the bed.

He wanted to ask many things yet was unable to.

Ningguang spoke as if you were still breathing and was visiting her minutes ago with another one of your tea blends. "Dont worry and rest first, go to jueyun karst after. They will be waiting."

To where the adepti resides, who as well, favored you, that one soul among thousands of others. One to which they shared a few good memories with was allowed to slumber there in peace.

Zhongli found himself waking up to the sun setting in the horizon. Just like how youve gone and resurfaced back into his memories. It was time.

He stood up from where he sat, gloved hands brushing any dirt that clung to him as he made his way to where you slept.

The red bean that was planted by himself still remained, a token of his love for you. Picking one bead and placing it inside the hollow dice he brought along, completing another one of the similar handicraft he's made every visit.

The sun finally died and the moon began its reign. The small wisps of light gathered around before him, forming a blurry image.

It was then he felt at ease, he saw you smiling at him with all there is in the world. Your light seemed to dim a little, hinting the blessing the adepti gave was slowly diminishing. Soon your visits would cease and you were sure that by the end of the power spent, he wouldve let go of the torment that plagued him.

"A-li. Have you been well?" he knew what you meant

"Im letting go slowly my dear. Perhaps in time, I would learn breathe easily once again."

Longest yet lol. Hope yall liked it ehehe

[omegawolverine]

Braid Me a Home

summary:

"Braid my fucking hair, Theseus. Braid it.”

It had sounded like a plea falling from Techno’s chapped lips, blood caked under his nails as he sat in front of Tommy on a tree stump, slowly itching at his wrists.

“Wilbur told me to stop you if you ever started doing that-”

“Wilbur isn’t fucking here. Just...braid, Toms. Braid.” 

or

A story about the Sleepy Bois being family, told through braids.

word count: 2.5k

warnings: child neglect, hurt/no comfort, canonical character death, implied/referenced mental health issues (like it’s obvious but there isn’t much detail to it), brief blood mentions (ik this fic sounds kinda angsty as hell but its not? imo its light angst)

a/n: first dream smp fic and im ALREADY projecting? christ. anyways. go easy on me pls this is far from my best work i just havent written a fic in like 5 months (more if you dont count the fucking chat fics) mm also i may have posted this like a week ago on ao3 just to test the waters and its already gotten way more comments and kudos than any fic of mine usually gets this early on so hopefully tumblr enjoys it too :]

—

When Wilbur Soot was born, he came out crying, as most babies do. Covered in vernix and blood, he weighed just barely above the seven-pound mark, gasping out sharp cries that only a parent could truly stand, or worse—love. Though he was the second baby born into the family that day, he was fussed over far more than he would ever be again.

Technoblade, on the other hand, had barely made a sound when he came out, a trail of blood smeared across his forehead, almost as if it was meant to be there. He made small noises that were more akin to confused mumbles, weakly grasping at his father’s hair when he was eventually passed on for the second child to be welcomed into the world.

Only when both boys were held in their father’s grasp did Wilbur quiet down, his soft head leaning into his father’s beard as he stared wide eyed at the boy across from him. Though they looked similar enough, Technoblade’s nose was squished further back into his face, appearing almost snout-like to Philza. Of course Wilbur noted this, wiggling until their father somehow managed to get them pressed right up against each other with minimal damage done. Though Techno never stopped squinting like an annoyed old man at Wilbur, he allowed the other to press a fist against his nose, his eyebrows unfurrowing just the slightest bit at the touch.

From that day on, Philza was the father of two twin boys—a loud boy who cried easily, but always calmed down for his older brother, and a rather monotone one, who’s face seemed to be permanently stuck in a scowl, unless said face was being smushed around by the younger. And things worked like that for a while. Not forever, but...a while.

—

Philza taught Wilbur to braid on a hot Monday afternoon.

It had been a rough day for the boy, though Phil hadn’t a clue why. Maybe he had just woken up on the wrong side of the bed? Or maybe he hadn’t slept enough between bedtime and the time Tommy had started crying again, the youngest boy’s crib being right beside his head and all. Though it might’ve seemed cruel from an outsider’s perspective, Wilbur had been the one to ask for it. Something about Tommy being his little brother and how he needed to teach the boy the ways of the world in the same way Techno had taught him—because apparently that was all Techno’s doing now, not Phil’s.

Regardless, Wilbur had been a bit too snippy for Phil’s liking that day, complaining about every little thing they did until finally, the day was over.

Well, as over as it could be with Techno leaving mid foam sword fight, an annoyed shout of ‘I quit!’ leaving his mouth before he snatched up Tommy’s carrier and brought him inside for god knows what reason.

It had only been around four P.M. by that time—too early for dinner, yet too late for Phil to really demand the boy stay outside and continue to entertain himself with a brother who was clearly not entertained himself.

Details aside, Phil isn’t really sure how they got to braiding. He just knows at some point they did and by the end of their outside time, just before the clock struck six, Wilbur had made two thick, messy braids in his hair. They stuck out awkwardly, looking all too similar to Pippi Longstocking’s iconic hairdo for his comfort, but he’d be damned if he took out the braids his son had so happily rushed inside to show his older brother before demanding to do his hair as well. After all, Wilbur didn’t have long enough hair for braids, but Technoblade sure as hell did. It was only at his shoulder blades back then, brunette curls wrapping around his narrow shoulders and thin arms like thick vines.

Wilbur had always enjoyed brushing it out with his fingers and putting cute, handmade clips or flowers in it at random, decorating the waves for his brother who was more than happy to let the boy do as he pleased. Though he would never admit it, Technoblade liked how it felt when Will played with his hair. He was always careful not to tug too hard, prioritizing the comfort of his other half more than the beauty of his work, as he so often referred to it.

So when Will had presented him with the mess that was his first two braids, he wasn’t hesitant at all to let the boy practice on him. Instead, he walked to the couch with a small smile, removing his glasses gently and getting comfortable before his brother plopped down into the space behind him. Long legs draped over long legs with no warning, thighs pressed together as if they were meant to be like that all along—and they might as well have been, for how often they did this.

Phil had watched them from the doorway in content silence, Tommy sitting behind him in a wooden high chair looking bored, but not making a fuss for once. And as he left that doorway to begin dinner, he listened to their muffled conversation and soft bursts of laughter with a small smile on his lips, for he knew things wouldn’t always be this way. They would have to grow up eventually, and when they did, things would change. Phil could only hope it was for the better.

—

When Tommy turns nine, Wilbur teaches him to braid under circumstances not too different from the ones he had learned under himself.

Well. Not too too different.

Philza and Technoblade had been...busy as of late. In the house for three days, out for a week, in for a week, out for three more, over and over and over again. Wilbur had become more like a father to Tommy in recent months than he should’ve been, his fourteenth birthday fast approaching as their father took Techno out for yet another job, one that Wilbur couldn’t come on because he was too fucking weak to do anything Techno could do, too fucking stupid to learn all the techniques Techno did, lacking all the strength and agility his older sibling possessed, like the useless prick he was-

Right. This is about Tommy.

When Tommy was nine, his hair rested gently against his collarbones in the exact same cut and color as their father wore. If Wilbur was a lesser man, he would’ve hated the kid for it, but it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t see what a selfish git their father truly was yet. All he knew was that their dad was busy a lot and that, for some reason, Techno needed to go with him. Apparently, that was enough for him to keep holding onto the idea that one day, the man would stay longer and maybe, just maybe, show him some of the same care that his older brother did.

If Wilbur was a better man, he would tell Tommy the truth. He would tell him all about the way Philza had called him useless in a fight, forcing him to instead stay home and care for a child while still being one himself. He would mention how Philza had given him no instructions on how to care for a developing child, how he left out key details to parenting on his own as a goddamn thirteen-year-old, yet remembered to tell him things would be better this way because god forbid he does his fucking job as a father for anyone but Technoblade—

Who he missed. He missed Technoblade, his other half, so fucking bad it hurt sometimes—so bad it left him gasping for breath at two A.M., his head pounding in tandem with his uneven heartbeat, lungs burning as his snot and tears soaked into his brother’s cold, cold sheets. And it made him feel fucking pathetic because the truth of the matter was that...Techno had left him behind too. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to hate the older boy, no matter how hard he tried. Couldn’t hate Philza either, if he were to be honest with himself, but it was a lot easier to pretend he did when his father was the one putting them all in this position to begin with.

So, Tommy was nine when he learned how to braid.

Phil had promised him and Techno would be back Tuesday morning.

It was Wednesday afternoon.

Tommy didn’t fucking understand, and as frustrating as it was that the prick decided to take it out on Wilbur, he couldn’t blame him. Who else was he supposed to take this shit out on? Certainly not the man who had yet to return.

Wilbur had started the braid as a way to distract him. It was simple, really—tell him you know something he doesn’t and that he won’t get to know if he doesn’t sit the fuck down and listen.

When he had started tugging the boy’s hair back from his face, his immediate reaction was to jerk away, swatting at the hands that hovered over his shoulders. This only happened once or twice more before he let it happen naturally, his posture stiff as Wilbur ran his fingers through the boy’s hair with practiced ease.

Though it may not have seemed like it, Tommy was significantly more averse to touch than Techno had ever been. The only reason Techno even seemed averse to it was because of his hesitance to initiate, something he and Wilbur had discussed in depth. Rejection was one of the few fears Technoblade truly had and Wilbur held that fact close to his heart, ready to die with it if need be. Tommy, on the other hand? He was very particular about where and when and why someone was touching him, and it had taken Wilbur a long time to get used to that fact. But, he wasn’t about to make his little brother uncomfortable just so he could be happy and, eventually, he learned the ins and outs of how to touch TommyInnit without causing issue.

Pulling a few of the shorter strands towards the front of Tommy’s face loose, Will separated the blonde’s hair into three sections. They were rather small, what with how thin and short his hair was, it just barely being long enough to even have a proper braid in it, but Wilbur knew he could make it work.

“Now, Toms, you gotta listen to me here, because I can’t show you this bit, yeah? Phil and Tech aren’t here, and my hair is too short, so you’ll just have to feel it out for now, but...this is how you braid hair-” Wilbur had said in a soft voice, brushing the pad of his thumb over the boys neck slowly to ease the tension out of his shoulders. The effect was immediate, the boy slouching forward as if he had just noticed he was holding himself so sternly. Smiling softly, Wilbur instructed him on how to weave the strands together, answering questions and pulling lightly at Tommy’s hair so he could feel exactly where everything went. After he was done, Tommy had reached back to feel the bumps in his hair, all his earlier anger seemingly gone as he gave a small smile. And then he tried it himself.

Of course he got a bit of help at first, Wilbur’s larger hands guiding his own with gentle corrections, but after that Tommy worked on it alone, his older brother watching in silence from a patch of grass beside the porch step.

That night, Tommy and Wilbur slept in Techno’s bed, a soft, blue blanket wrapped tightly around them. And if another body woke them up at some point that night, shoving its way into the mess of limbs, their chest pressed right up against the youngest boy’s back, then that was only for them to know.

—

At eleven years old, Tommy takes a pair of scissors to his hair. With flushed cheeks and salty lips, his hands shaking and his eyes foggy, he cuts, cuts, cuts, until he can no longer braid his hair—until he can no longer look like fucking Phil.

Even though Wilbur had once said he hated Tommy’s long hair—hated how similar he and their dad looked—he felt like crying as he ran his fingers through the uneven strands. He didn’t tell his brother this though, instead grabbing his face and planting a wet kiss on his freckled forehead. In a fierce whisper, Wilbur had said, “I’m so fucking proud of you, Tommy. So fucking proud.”

Tommy never forgets the way he felt that day. He doesn’t forget Wilbur’s words either.

—

When Wilbur loses his last life, Technoblade tells Tommy to braid his hair.

It wasn’t a question either, but a demand forced out between gritted teeth, his face red, his nose stuffy and his lashes wet with unshed tears. Still, his words were clear as day.

“Braid my fucking hair, Theseus. Braid it.”

It had sounded like a plea falling from Techno’s chapped lips, blood caked under his nails as he sat in front of Tommy on a tree stump, slowly itching at his wrists.

“Wilbur told me to stop you if you ever started doing that-”

“Wilbur isn’t fucking here. Just...braid, Toms. Braid.”

Tommy sniffled, but did as he was told.

Maybe it was because he was too tired to argue with the only person he even had left. Maybe it was because he could tell Technoblade was mad at their father for the first time in his life, and he knew how bad his first time had felt. Or, maybe, it was just because he knew Techno fucking cared. Nobody else seemed to, but he knew Techno did and...that was enough for him.

As long as someone else cared—as long as it was fucking Technoblade—that was enough for him.

Just as Tommy had finished the braid, curling his finger around the light pink tail that tied the whole thing off, Techno yanked it forward. Before he could even register that the hair had left his hand, the older boy had taken an axe to the top of it, letting the rest of his hair fall around his face in uneven curls. Though it was a good ten minutes of work wasted, Tommy couldn’t say a damn thing as he watched Techno pocket the braid, muttering a thank you and heading in the direction of Wilbur’s unofficial grave.

In that moment, he felt relief for the first time in a long while.

—

Wilbur Soot was born covered in vernix and blood, weighing just barely above the seven-pound mark, and he came into the world much like he left it. Everyone had heard his cries—even if they weren’t there, even if they didn’t know him well—they had saw the way he spiraled, desperate and afraid and paranoid, searching for help, but never receiving enough.

And though he was the second child born, he left the world first, returning in a yellow sweater with a small braid tucked behind his ear. He didn’t really know why he had one, but he remembered braiding Techno’s hair and he remembered teaching Tommy how to do his own and he remembered, he remembered, he remembered the braids.