#but i had major photocopying issues

[thestraypunk]

THE STRAY PUNK

issue 1

^^ printable version!

Feel free to print out and/or share, just please don't sell it or not credit me.

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[mostlysignssomeportents]

NLRB rules that any union busting triggers automatic union recognition

Tonight (September 6) at 7pm, I'll be hosting Naomi Klein at the LA Public Library for the launch of Doppelganger.

On September 12 at 7pm, I'll be at Toronto's Another Story Bookshop with my new book The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation.

American support for unions is at its highest level in generations, from 70% (general population) to 88% (Millenials) – and yet, American unionization rates are pathetic.

That's about to change.

The National Labor Relations Board just handed down a landmark ruling – the Cemex case – that "brought worker rights back from the dead."

https://prospect.org/labor/2023-08-28-bidens-nlrb-brings-workers-rights-back/

At issue in Cemex was what the NLRB should do about employers that violate labor law during union drives. For decades, even the most flagrantly illegal union-busting was met with a wrist-slap. For example, if a boss threatened or fired an employee for participating in a union drive, the NLRB would typically issue a small fine and order the employer to re-hire the worker and provide back-pay.

Everyone knows that "a fine is a price." The NLRB's toothless response to cheating presented an easily solved equation for corrupt, union-hating bosses: if the fine amounts to less than the total, lifetime costs of paying a fair wage and offering fair labor conditions, you should cheat – hell, it's practically a fiduciary duty:

https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/468061

Enter the Cemex ruling: once a majority of workers have signed a union card, any Unfair Labor Practice by their employer triggers immediate, automatic recognition of the union. In other words, the NLRB has fitted a tilt sensor in the American labor pinball machine, and if the boss tries to cheat, they automatically lose.

Cemex is a complete 180, a radical transformation of the American labor regulator from a figleaf that legitimized union busting to an actual enforcer, upholding the law that Congress passed, rather than the law that America's oligarchs wish Congress had passed. It represents a turning point in the system of lawless impunity for American plutocracy.

In the words of Frank Wilhoit, it is is a repudiation of the conservative dogma: "There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect":

https://crookedtimber.org/2018/03/21/liberals-against-progressives/#comment-729288

It's also a stunning example of what regulatory competence looks like. The Biden administration is a decidedly mixed bag. On the one hand there are empty suits masquerading as technocrats, champions of the party's centrist wing (slogan: "Everything is fine and change is impossible"):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

But the progressive, Sanders/Warren wing of the party installed some fantastically competent, hard-charging, principled fighters, who are chapter-and-verse on their regulatory authority and have the courage to use that authority:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/18/administrative-competence/#i-know-stuff

They embody the old joke about the photocopier technician who charges "$1 to kick the photocopier and $79 to know where to kick it." The best Biden appointees have their boots firmly laced, and they're kicking that mother:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/16/the-second-best-time-is-now/#the-point-of-a-system-is-what-it-does

One such expert kicker is NLRB General Counsel Jennifer Abruzzo. Abruzzo has taken a series of muscular, bold moves to protect American workers, turning the tide in the class war that the 1% has waged on workers since the Reagan administration. For example, Abruzzo is working to turn worker misclassification – the fiction that an employee is a small business contracting with their boss, a staple of the "gig economy" – into an Unfair Labor Practice:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/10/see-you-in-the-funny-papers/bidens-legacy

She's also waging war on robo-scab companies: app-based employment "platforms" like Instawork that are used to recruit workers to cross picket lines, under threat of being blocked from the app and blackballed by hundreds of local employers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/30/computer-says-scab/#instawork

With Cemex, Abruzzo is restoring a century-old labor principle that has been gathering dust for generations: the idea that workers have the right to organize workplace gemocracies without fear of retaliation, harassment, or reprisals.

But as Harold Meyerson writes for The American Prospect, the Cemex ruling has its limits. Even if the NLRB forces and employer to recognize a union, they can't force the employer to bargain in good faith for a union contract. The National Labor Relations Act prohibits the Board from imposing a contract.

That's created a loophole that corrupt bosses have driven entire fleets of trucks through. Workers who attain union recognition face years-long struggles to win a contract, as their bosses walk away from negotiations or offer farcical "bargaining positions" in the expectation that they'll be rejected, prolonging the delay.

Democrats have been trying to fix this loophole since the LBJ years, but they've been repeatedly blocked in the senate. But Abruzzo is a consummate photocopier kicker, and she's taking aim. In Thrive Pet Healthcare, Abruzzo has argued that failing to bargain in good faith for a contract is itself an Unfair Labor Practice. That means the NLRB has the authority to act to correct it – they can't order a contract, but they can order the employer to give workers "wages, benefits, hours, and such that are comparable to those provided by comparable unionized companies in their field."

Mitch McConnell is a piece of shit, but he's no slouch at kicking photocopiers himself. For a whole year, McConnell has blocked senate confirmation hearings to fill a vacant seat on the NLRB. In the short term, this meant that the three Dems on the board were able to hand down these bold rulings without worrying about their GOP colleagues.

But McConnell was playing a long game. Board member Gwynne Wilcox's term is about to expire. If her seat remains vacant, the three remaining board members won't be able to form a quorum, and the NLRB won't be able to do anything.

As Meyerson writes, centrist Dems have refused to push McConnell on this, hoping for comity and not wanting to violate decorum. But Chuck Schumer has finally bestirred himself to fight this issue, and Alaska GOP senator Lisa Murkowski has already broken with her party to move Wilcox's confirmation to a floor vote.

The work of enforcers like DoJ Antitrust Division boss Jonathan Kanter, FTC chair Lina Khan, and SEC chair Gary Gensler is at the heart of Bidenomics: the muscular, fearless deployment of existing regulatory authority to make life better for everyday Americans.

But of course, "existing regulatory authority" isn't the last word. The judges filling stolen seats on the illegitimate Supreme Court had invented the "major questions doctrine" and have used it as a club to attack Biden's photocopier-kickers. There's real danger that Cemex – and other key actions – will get fast-tracked to SCOTUS so the dotards in robes can shatter our dreams for a better America.

Meyerson is cautiously optimistic here. At 40% (!), the Court's approval rating is at a low not seen since the New Deal showdowns. The Supremes don't have an army, they don't have cops, they just have legitimacy. If Americans refuse to acknowledge their decisions, all they can do it sit and stew:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/26/mint-the-coin-etc-etc/#blitz-em

The Court knows this. That's why they fume so publicly about attacks on their legitimacy. Without legitimacy, they're nothing. With the Supremes' support at 40% and union support at 70%, any judicial attack on Cemex could trigger term-limits, court-packing, and other doomsday scenarios that will haunt the relatively young judges for decades, as the seats they stole dwindle into irrelevance. Meyerson predicts that this will weigh on them, and may stay their hands.

Meyerson might be wrong, of course. No one ever lost money betting on the self-destructive hubris of Federalist Society judges. But even if he's wrong, his point is important. If the Supremes frustrate the democratic will of the American people, we have to smash the Supremes. Term limits, court-packing, whatever it takes:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/20/judicial-equilibria/#pack-the-court

And the more we talk about this – the more we make this consequence explicit – the more it will weigh on them, and the better the chance that they'll surprise us. That's already happening! The Supremes just crushed the Sackler opioid crime-family's dream of keeping their billions in blood-money:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/11/justice-delayed/#justice-redeemed

But if it doesn't stop them? If they crush this dream, too? Pack the court. Impose term limits. Make it the issue. Don't apologize, don't shrug it off, don't succumb to learned helplessness. Make it our demand. Make it a litmus test: "If elected, will you vote to pack the court and clear the way for democratic legitimacy?"

Meanwhile, Cemex is already bearing fruit. After an NYC Trader Joe's violated the law to keep Trader Joe's United from organizing a store, the workers there have petitioned to have their union automatically recognized under the Cemex rule:

https://truthout.org/articles/trader-joes-union-files-to-force-company-to-recognize-union-under-new-nlrb-rule/

With the NLRB clearing the regulatory obstacles to union recognition, America's largest unions are awakening from their own long slumbers. For decades, unions have spent a desultory 3% of their budgets on organizing workers into new locals. But a leadership upset in the AFL-CIO has unions ready to catch a wave with the young workers and their 88% approval rating, with a massive planned organizing drive:

https://prospect.org/labor/labors-john-l-lewis-moment/

Meyerson calls on other large unions to follow suit, and the unions seem ready to do so, with new leaders and new militancy at the Teamsters and UAW, and with SEIU members at unionized Starbucks waiting for their first contracts.

Turning union-supporting workers into unionized workers is key to fighting Supreme Court sabotage. Organized labor will give fighters like Abruzzo the political cover she needs to Get Shit Done. A better America is possible. It's within our grasp. Though there is a long way to go, we are winning crucial victories all the time.

The centrist message that everything is fine and change is impossible is designed to demoralize you, to win the fight in your mind so they don't have to win it in the streets and in the jobsite. We don't have to give them that victory. It's ours for the taking.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/06/goons-ginks-and-company-finks

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

OKAY STORY TIME

So I woke up today at 6:30 AM with the following goal: Go to university, print out my a lecture reader before 9AM, have it bound at my university store that opens at 9 and then dedicate the rest of my day to going through the whole reader so I can start studying with it and practicing exercises tomorrow.

THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED!

so first of all, I fucked around a bit, and only actually tried to print my reader at 9:18. But we're still good, right? I purposely went to the campus where the store opens at 9 rather than 10 so I can get shit done faster. Except ERROR 404, when I uploaded the PDF to the printing platform, the printer couldn't "find it." I had had issues like this in December, and I knew that maybe a solution could be to try a different printer in a different building

I make my way to another building. It takes a while to track down the printer but soon I'm set up to print. YAY! except the printer is starting and stopping every 15 seconds and I have to print 242 pages!!!! help!!!! It ends up taking like 40 minutes during which I can't really be productive because I'm cooped up in this tiny printer room

Okay it's like 10:30 by now, but it's finally done printing (or so I think) so I head out to the store where I can get it bound.

MID-BINDING I NOTICE THERE ARE LITERALLY FORTY PAGES MISSING. JUST RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. WHAT THE FUCK???

So I leave the store again and head out to a different building because I'm thinking, that last one can't be trusted. It's only when I reach this building I realize that building doesn't actually have a printer.

So I turn back around and end up in the first building, but a different printer there. I sit down, make a new pdf with just my missing pages. Try to print.

GUESS WHAT??? I'VE RUN OUT OF FREE PHOTOCOPIES! this has basically never happened to me. wtf! where did I go wrong?? ANYWAY I'll suck it up and add money to my account balance so I can make these last copies and finally bind this reader

WELL FUCK YOU FIONA BECAUSE THE SITE WHERE YOU CAN ADD MONEY IS DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE. UNTIL 5PM.

At this point it's 11:15. I haven't had breakfast so I throw my hands up and get lunch, figuring I'll add money to my balance in the evening and then finally bind it.

In the meantime, I text a groupchat asking if anyone is on this particular campus, because they could use their free photocopies. Everyone is like: no.

Then, after lunch I realize: Oh Shit! The store where you can bind closes at 4PM. I can't wait until 5 to add money to my printing balance!! I don't want to lose an entire day what the fuck

I hang around a fourth printer for a bit, and tell my sob story to two dudes who come to pick up a print job. One of them is like "how did you run out? Did you print that much? Or did you use colour" AND YES I FUCKING USED COLOUR. I FORGOT HOW MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE IT MAKES EVEN THOUGH THE MAJORITY OF THIS READER IS BLACK AND WHITE.

Anyways they feel bad for me but they don't have any balance left either rip

Suddenly, I remember a group of people I know usually study in this one specific building on the other campus, which is a 20 minute bus ride away

I decide FUCK IT and grab the shuttle and track down the nearest acquaintance and beg him to let me print on his account. it's 1PM by this point

IT WORKS!

The binding store on this campus isn't super close + I get myself a coffee because What The Fuck + I can't be bothered to walk back so I wait for a tram that isn't much quicker than walking so it almost takes me another hour after starting to print my last 40 pages to do the full back and forth + binding

So it's a little after 2 and I am FINALLY sitting down to do what I set out to do. Get through this reader. Highlight stuff. Add post-it tabs.

EXCEPT I'M AN IDIOT AND FORGOT TO PACK A HIGHLIGHTER AND POST-ITS. So I end up paging through it and just taking notes on my iPad for what I want to highlight and tabulate later lol. (Which.... I could have done with just the PDF probably. fml I guess.)

BUT: WORRY NOT! HAPPY ENDING!

Because, For The First Time In My Life, I have overestimated how much time a task would take. I get through the ENTIRE reader by 7:10PM.

OH MY GOD.

[theladyofbloodshed]

Hi! saw you are a teacher, may i ask how you choose to be one (if you don't mind 👉👈)? I am considering pedagogy but my experience with teachers when I was a kid weren't very good, as i was the "shy quiet lonely exclueded" kid in a class of louder kids, and the few times i got accepted by my classmates the teachers would scold me for talking too much but tell nothing to the other kids, i even remember one saying she didn't expected that kind of behavious coming from me as i was so behaved, and i was always the buffer for the most misbehaving kids, which i always hated

I’m so sorry that happened to you. That’s so sad :(

I will write a very long biography

Uh I kind of got here by accident! I never wanted to be a teacher lmao. Basically, I studied psychology for my bachelors then switched to the sport science department for my masters and studied applied sport and exercise psychology. My dream was to work in sports. I was running a blog all about sport psychology and relating it to ice hockey and football based on current issues and applying like mad to jobs relating to sport and exercise but could find nothing. You need a lot of experience for these jobs but I grew up poor and couldn’t drive so I was working 40 hours a week, walking an hour to work and an hour back so didn’t have the time to walk elsewhere and volunteer. I’m not from a big place so there weren’t any sports team other than little local ones so I’d have had to take a train in the evening etc and I gave up.

Ended up getting so frustrated I just became an au pair. Moved to Denmark. Did try applying to volunteer with sports clubs but nobody ever got back when I tried to contact.

Came home and was working at greggs. Best job ever. I then started working at my local sports centre where I had to increase attendance amongst hard to reach groups, primarily elderly and disabled people. I really enjoyed that. I helped grow our local disability sport group, introduced trampolining to it, set up archery sessions etc. I also had a drop in club for over 60s where we played sport and had a chat over a cup of tea. Brought along dementia groups and prostate cancer groups to talk to them. (I still have a picture of us all up on my fridge when we went to London).

We had redundancies and I also ended up running the children’s club that ran in the school holidays. I had to do all the planning and did extra hours helping to run it (some weeks I was doing like 80 hours lmao).

I’ve always loved kids and I really enjoyed that part but I wanted more than just playing dodgeball with them. My boss was also a bit of a nightmare so I found a job as a TA in a school. I did that for 4 years and felt bad that I had a masters degree and was “just” a TA. At the same time, I wasn’t “just” a TA. Maybe in the past they washed up paint pots and listened to children read. Yeah, I made sure everything was photocopied and trimmed and supported lower ability kids in lessons but also I ran interventions that I planned for memory, phonics, fine motor skills, speech and language, emotional regulation. I was the first person they’d come to when they’d been in trouble or something awful had happened at home. I dealt with major safeguarding incidents, had to speak to aggressive parents, deal with things that massively shocked me about their home life whilst remaining professional. I’ve had diabetic children I’ve had to inject with insulin even on residential trips where I was their “parent” for 5 days straight, epileptic children who I’ve had to give medicine to daily, children who use wheelchairs that I’ve had to take to the toilet and change their nappies.

Then I got a promotion to cover classes as I’d done it a lot during covid when people were off. It was a massive learning curve but thankfully I already knew every child in the school and I was loved so they’d cheer when I walked through the door. I’ve worked with lots of teachers and seen great ones and good ones and different tactics and techniques. My mantra to them is “we have to do the boring bit before we do the fun bit”. We get the work done to a good standard and we can play a game, go outside etc. They know my rules!

I switched schools and now I am still covering but I get to plan the lessons I cover so it’s another step up. I teach every class but different subjects eg geography in one year group, religion in another. It’s more fun as I can decide how to deliver the lesson and can make it more engaging. I know the children a bit better now I’ve been there for a few weeks so I know what they’ll enjoy.

For me, I need to know the classes well. I get the energetic kids who can’t sit still to hand out books or sheets. I get the lowest ability children who can’t access the lesson to help me click things on the board so they’re still part of it. I get the shy children to whisper me the answer and I will tell the rest of the class. I’m very much adaptive to the class I have so they can all access it.

I love it although I do feel like I’m wasting my masters still. The money isn’t great. When I grew up, school was my safe place. I had a lot going on at home and school was stable and safe. It was really hard to leave my old school because I had children in difficult situations who also saw school as safe. They saw me as their safe adult who they could hug and cry on and ask to go for a private chat when things became too much. I think for me that was the most important part of my job and the thing that mattered most.

So that is how I ended up teaching! I think teaching depends a lot about the children and staff you work with. Some classes I’m like yay! I have them today! Other times I’m like “this afternoon is about me surviving them”. It’s fun and varied but also hard work. I don’t have a TA with me ever which is hard!

[187days]

Day Ten

Today's subtitle: Me VS Technology.

In APGOV, I did battle with my printer (I lost, but then the tech people got me a new one), and then I did battle with the photocopier. It almost defeated me, but I undid all the paper jams someone else had caused, and got what I needed- namely, an article about how local governments in NH are run, which students read and then discussed with me. After they came back from lunch, we watched an old video clip in which a boy is writing a letter to describe this region of the state to a foreign pen pal. Over the next few classes, my students will have to write a letter or film a video to explain life in their town, including a description on the major businesses, the school, the way the local government works, some major local issues. I first did this project on a whim last spring, and it went really well, so it's becoming a fixture in my curriculum.

In Global Studies I taught a lesson that required students to be on their chromebooks, so I had to compete with their screens for their attention, and... mostly won? They've been reading about the links between conflict and climate change, so I had them research some information about the civil war in Yemen because it's a great example of those links. We looked up a couple pieces of information together- me projecting what I was doing up on screen, them copying me- and I showed them how to use the Google Docs citation tool so they could properly cite it. Then I had them try it on their own. Anyone who was listening did fine, anyone who was not... did not. But I think a few of the students who found themselves struggling learned a lesson from it.

What else?

I haven't written much about my advisory yet this year. It's alright, but students either keep to themselves or their small friend groups, they're not much of a cohesive community yet. Still figuring out what to do about that...

[thesoftboiledegg]

I'm not upset about it because people can feel however they want about the show, but I legitimately don't understand all these "How Rick and Morty DECLINED and WENT TO SHIT" videos and articles. OK, they would have a point if the show just rehashed the same themes with declining quality levels, like bad photocopies of season 1, but that's not what's happened at all (well, as of season 5.)

Yeah, seasons 4 and 5 had their issues--season 4 went off the rails a few times, and season 5's pacing was all over the place--but we gained these brilliant twists, major reveals and incredible character development. The art and animation just keep getting better, to the point that you can't lump in this show with "ugly Western cartoons" anymore.

Like yeah, "Amortycan Grickfitti" isn't going to go down as an all-time classic, but neither are "Rixty Minutes" or "Raising Gazorpazorp" or a lot of other episodes from these seasons (as a whole, not the individual episodes) that are supposed to be the best.

This is also one of those rare shows that changes and adapts to the times instead of digging in its heels and going "You guys don't like our anti-PC jokes? We're going to make MORE anti-PC jokes just to piss people off! Suck it, libs and feminazis!" Even though it could've done that easily because "anti-PC" jokes are partially what made Rick and Morty blow up in the first place.

Anyway, I realize that people are going to have different perspectives on the stuff that I just mentioned, but I don't feel like the show is "lesser." Just has different strengths and weaknesses. If anything, I think that Rick and Morty just keeps getting better, but that seems to be an unpopular opinion.

But I also think that half of season 1 is unwatchable, which also isn't a popular opinion, lmao. I don't get people who say that seasons 4 and 5 are garbage but think "My man!" and "Where are my testicles, Summer?" are pure hilarity.

[tamuramachi]

Yumi Tamura Long Interview from Da Vinci August 2020 Issue

Basic translations of the long interview with mangaka Yumi Tamura published in the Da Vinci magazine August 2020 issue. Translation notes appear at the end and correspond with the numbers enclosed in brackets that appear in the body of the post.

<<SPOILER ALERT to anyone who hasn't finished BASARA, and possibly 7SEEDS (though nothing major) if you haven't reached Volume 10/11, specifically the Ash chapter arc on Ryugu Shelter.>>

-----------------------------------

This year marks the 38th anniversary of Yumi Tamura's debut.

Tomoe ga Yuku!, BASARA, and 7SEEDS are big hit series, and her current serialization, Mystery to Iu Nakare, is also attracting a great deal of attention. Throughout her illustrious career, just as her portrayed protagonists have always been "fighting people," she herself has always been a "fighting manga artist.” This is a precious long interview with Tamura that reveals the path she has taken as a manga artist!

The Budding Worldview Begins in a Manga Club

Yumi Tamura opened the door to the world of manga when she was in junior high and high school. It was during this time that she first made many friends who drew manga together.

“I formed a manga club. We weren’t allowed to have a manga club at my school, so I formed an independent one with kids from other schools. After school, we would gather at the house of a member and draw various things. But it's not like we were making proper manuscripts yet at that time. It was more like relay manga [1.], where we would draw with pencils in a notebook. We also made photocopy zines and went to events to sell them. I liked horror and suspense [genres], and now that I think about it, ensemble dramas [2.]. I was creating a single world and putting various characters in it, each with their own story. It was like playing with worlds and characters.”

It was in this manga club that Tamura began walking the path of becoming a professional. In high school, her friends told her they wanted to become manga artists, and in her sophomore year, Tamura, too, finished her first real manuscript and submitted it to Bessatsu Shoujo Comic. It was selected as an honorable mention for the monthly award, and an editor was already assigned to her after her second submission.

“A career as manga artist finally became a reality at this point. When I was deciding on a career path, I thought to myself that I didn’t want to draw manga only as a side job, so I had no choice but to become a manga artist. I entered a design school in Tokyo and worked as an assistant here and there while aiming to make my debut.”

I wanted to draw a hard-boiled suspense with a male protagonist.

For Tamura, the manga club was not only the beginning, but also an important place where the foundation of her career as a manga artist formed.

“The person who influenced me the most in becoming a manga artist was a friend of mine from the manga club. She was a very unique person and a good artist. She would draw pictures of an old Black man playing musical instruments in color. She would also draw stories about the environment from the perspective of a wolf. Seeing her, I realized that I’d be in trouble if I couldn’t draw men and women of all ages too. I started practicing drawing animals, mechanical objects, and with colors. As many of the contributors often say, you should put yourself in an environment where there are people who are clearly better than you. You'll definitely learn a lot that way. If I hadn't met that friend, I don't think I would have become a manga artist.”

Friction Between One's Own Worldview and the Required Worldview

However, after moving to Tokyo, Tamura continued her work in anguish for a brief period. She struggled with the friction between her own view of the world and the so-called shoujo-manga-like worldview.

“I wanted to create a hard-boiled type of story with a male protagonist and with a sense of suspense. But I assumed I couldn't do that for a 32-page piece, so I ended up not knowing what to actually draw for submission. After about two years, I decided that I couldn’t continue this way, so I finally started drawing what I wanted to draw. That was my debut work, Ore-tachi no Zettai Jikan.”

[Image caption: This is Billy, who could be called Tamura’s own fighting game character that she would choose to play. The actions of this rookie newspaper reporter are dazzling! (From Ore-tachi no Zettai Jikan)]

This work won an honorable mention in the Shogakukan Newcomer Comic Award, and was published in an additional issue of Bessatsu Shoujo Comic in 1983. The story begins when Billy, a rookie newspaper reporter, meets a mysterious man who is carrying a dead girl's body.

“Billy is one of the characters in the world that I was creating back in my manga club days. I tried to draw him the way I would like my own selected character [in a fighting video game]. I submitted the work without even showing it to my editor.”

In the 1980s, shoujo manga was in its golden age of school romantic comedies. It could be said that Tamura had begun acquiring her own unique style since the time of her debut.

“It's true that I'm often told that my work is not limited to the boundaries of shoujo manga. But I've never thought of shoujo manga as having any boundaries, and I naturally believe that it has a wide range where anything can be done. I mean I've been reading such stories for a long time. From the perspective of an otaku of my generation, the school romantic comedy genre that everyone often thinks of [and associates with shoujo] is something that came along relatively later.”

However, even after her debut, Tamura still ran into a wall with the worldview requested by the [Bessatsu Shoujo Comic] magazine. Her first serialization was Chotto Eiyuu (Hiirou) shite Mitai. It's a story about a high school girl who plays tennis.

“The person in charge told me that the main character needed to be a girl; that a mystery/suspense was not allowed; that since it’s action, it should be about sports. And that’s how the setting came to be. But because of that, this is a pretty heavy and somewhat bitter memory for me.”

Wanting a Protagonist Who Fights Alongside Men on Equal Footing

The first breakthrough in Tamura’s career came in 1987 with the serialization of Tomoe ga Yuku!. The main character is Tomoe, a delinquent girl who formerly rode roller skates down freeways. She meets Iori, the heir of a business conglomerate, and together they fight to protect him against various threats. With this work, Tamura solidified her position as a popular manga artist. But above all, Tomoe established the heroine image of the "fighting shoujo [girl]" that came to symbolize Tamura's work.

“Tomoe is by no means a strong girl. She is troubled by her own weakness, but she earnestly tries her best to be strong. In Tomoe, for the first time, I put in my own thoughts and problems that I’ve been carrying--the weaknesses, complexes, and worries I had inside me. Though I don't know if that’s an appropriate form for creative work like manga. I'm not a strong person at all, so I tried my best during this time in hopes of becoming strong too. Tomoe runs while crying. I was very happy that readers could relate to that. For the first time in this work, I thought it was fun to have a girl as the protagonist.”

“Thank you for loving me, I will make you happy too.”

We asked once more: In the end, isn't the so-called normal girl, a girl who is loved by a prince-like boy and becomes happy, the kind of protagonist that Tamura should be portraying?

“Of course, I want the protagonist to be loved and happy. But there's a part of me that thinks that she can't really be happy in the way you describe. She’s not an equal [to her partner] somehow, and I feel like sooner or later she’ll be looked down upon or despised as long as that remains the case. It's tiring to be at the mercy of others. For example, even if I do feel loved, I don't want to just be patted on the head; I want to pat your head in return as well. I want to be treated as an equal human being. Thus, I want her to be a girl who says, ‘Thank you for loving me, I will make you happy too.’ For some reason, this kind of awareness has always been with me. When I was a child, I loved tokusatsu [3.] and anime, especially the ones where the lone woman in a group plays the same active role as the men. For example, Françoise Arnoul in Cyborg 009 and Yōko Nogiwa in Key Hunter, though it’s a drama.”

Tomoe was also taken from Tomoe Gozen [4.].

“Tomoe Gozen is said to have charged alongside Kiso Yoshinaka [5.] on the battlefield. I very much admire that kind of relationship. I don't want to simply be told, ‘I'll protect you, so stay back.’ I want to fight together, hand in hand, raising each other up. Well, that's the ideal, but...I know it's difficult to achieve.”

The Idea for Sarasa Came from an Egyptian Queen Who Dressed Like a Man

In 1990, the same year that the serialization of Tomoe ga Yuku! ended, Tamura started serializing BASARA. Including the Gaiden [appendix; side story], the series ran until 1999 and won the 38th Shogakukan Manga Award. This is Tamura's legendary masterpiece that is still loved by many fans. The story takes place in Japan several hundred years after the collapse of civilization. Sarasa, a girl born in the village of Byakko, takes the place of her murdered twin brother, Tatara, and grows up to become the leader of a revolutionary army to save the people suffering under the king's oppressive rule.

[Image caption: This Okinawa edition is full of tropical flair! (From BASARA)]

“The idea started with a trip to Egypt. There, I learned about the female king, Hatshepsut, who ruled as a pharaoh while dressed as a man, and so I thought it would also be great to have a story about a girl fighting in the disguise of a man. There were already a lot of Egyptian-based stories, so I decided to make a Japanese one, but I thought it would be difficult to portray an actual historical figure since my mind would be wrapped up in historical facts. Thus, it became a fictional war story set in future Japan.”

One of the major attractions of BASARA is the fictional setting of the war. Centered on the imperial capital, Kyoto, Japan is divided into four provinces ruled by the Black King, the Blue King, the White King, and the Red King. There’s a large temple in Kumano and a prison, Abashiri, in the far north. Okinawa is an independent country with a presidential system. It is a world that is slightly connected to the real Japan, yet far more original.

“As usual, I kind of started before really deciding on the detailed setting. I immediately got stuck on what to do next (laughs), but I finally grasped the general idea of how to proceed around the time I put out the Kanmon Tunnel chapters. I realized then that this was indeed going to be a story about Sarasa’s journey around the actual islands of Japan. I guess this was partly due to the influence of role-playing games [6.]. So, as she travels around like that, some real places, such as Sakurajima, appear in the story, while there are other places that have completely changed. I tried to mix in settings that overlap a bit with historical facts and folklore, among trying other things, so it was a lot of fun to create.”

Not Wanting Just Strength; Kindness is Also Necessary

The heart of the story in BASARA is Sarasa’s internal conflict and love. While leading the Tatara army, Sarasa continues to question herself. “Why do I kill people on the battlefield when I want to create a country where people are not killed?” She also then falls deeply in love with the Red King, Shuri, not realizing that he is her own enemy. Sarasa, like Tomoe, is a "fighting girl," but she anguishes and struggles the more deeply she fights and loves.

“Sarasa is also a girl who knows she is weak and keeps struggling to be strong. But in the latter half of the story, she realizes that it’s not enough. Strength alone is not enough; you have to be kind.”

Sarasa reflects: “I thought all I wanted was strength, but every time I come in contact with someone's kindness, I wish I could be kind like them too, I wish I could be even more so; not just strong like Byakko.”

Tamura continues:

“Sarasa is not solely trying to be her brother, Tatara, nor a beautiful woman dressed as a man. She actually loved and lived as a girl. From the beginning of the story to the end, the protagonist has been extremely conscious of the fact that she is a girl. This was a work in which I myself kept thinking about what it meant be a girl.”

After fulfilling her goal of overthrowing the kingdom, Sarasa does not become the head of the new country. She, along with Shuri, disappears from everyone's sight. In the Gaiden, it is mentioned that they crossed over to Europe and established a company called Green Shokai [Green Trading Company].

“I had trouble with the conclusion through the very end. There is still a part of me that doesn't know if them leaving the country was a good choice or not. Maybe Sarasa should have ruled the country. But then, she would have never been able to be with Shuri. I was also very worried about whether or not Sarasa could really forgive Shuri, or if she should. In fact, my editor at one point told me that the two of them should die. But I didn't want to do that. I believed they should live on because they had persevered through so much and fought so hard all that time to be happy. If it had been a short story, I think the ending would have been different. But for this story, it's more meaningful for them to live than to gloriously die a noble death, and even if it's hard, the two of them should bear the burden of their responsibility. The readers called it a job change (laughs), but it’s another way of supporting their country as merchants. In the end, that's how their future together turned out.”

7SEEDS is a School Drama

Tamura's writing prowess continued to grow. In 2001 following BASARA, she launched her other masterpiece, 7SEEDS. The series ran for 16 years and won the Shogakukan Manga Award as well. In the story, five teams of seven people each—Team Spring, Summer A, Summer B, Autumn, and Winter—are put under cryogenic sleep and awaken in the future after the extinction of the human race.

[Image caption: Natsu and Hana in their school uniforms. It certainly looks like a school drama! (From 7SEEDS)]

“Again, I started this one in a hurry before I could really decide on anything (laughs), so I had a rather rough time until about volume 6. I wanted to take a good break for a moment, but it was hard to get one. But then in the chapter arc about Team Summer A at the institute, the story came to me all at once, right up to the final selection test. That was when I remembered the sensation of ‘manga is fun!’ for the first time in a long time.”

Even though the setup can be seen as a future survival story, 7SEEDS is a human drama all the way through.

“In my opinion, this work is a school drama. I'm not very good at school stories, so I've rarely written them, but here, there are only boys and girls of about high school-age, and they live together. In the end, it's not a survival know-how story, and of course it's not science fiction; it's a story about how people interact with each other and how they go on living.”

Natsu, who was bullied; Hana and Arashi, who were lovers; Aramaki, a former high school baseball player; and Ango, who carries trauma from his time at the institution. This is the ultimate ensemble drama, with each character having a life of their own to the point where it can be said that all the characters play a leading role.

"Whenever I draw manga, I always think that the supporting characters are not living for the sake of the main character. All of them are living for their own happiness. And it’s when they collide and overlap with each other that the story forms. Also, as is the case with BASARA, even if the young people are the main characters, it’s necessary to depict an adult society in the background—the ideas, expectations, and interests of adults. Only then can that world become one, but that’s the most challenging part.”

There is one chapter arc in 7SEEDS that Tamura herself loves. It's the "Ryugu" shelter, which portrays the time when humanity is on the verge of extinction.

“It seems that many readers are reminded of Ryugu shelter now with the occurrence of Corona [COVID-19 pandemic].”

In the Ryugu shelter, a singer, comedian, ramen chef, dairy farmer, and manga artist all fulfill their professional duties up until the moment of their deaths.

“What would we do if the end of humankind became a reality? I figured that in the end we would do the same thing as they did.”

Dissatisfaction with Gladiator is the Inspiration for Toraji?

One of the most notable aspects of Tamura's career is that while drawing long-running big hits without interruption since the time of Tomoe ga Yuku!, she has been constantly releasing new serialized work and one-shot short stories to the world. When BASARA was in serialization, she created a number of masterpieces, including the Ryuzaburou series featuring a 10-year-old boy, Kinezukan in which a group of senior citizens play an active role, and the horror work 4nin no Onna. And since the start of 7SEEDS, she has started two other series, Neko Mix Genkitan Toraji and Iromen—Juunin Toiro—.

Toraji is a fantasy story set in a world where humans and mice are at war with each other. Hero Pai’yan together along with half-human (mix) cat, Toraji, is searching for his son, who was kidnapped by the Magic Mouse. In Iromen, Aoki, Akagi, Midorikawa, and other men and women with colors in their names fixate on colors and engage in discussions over them at a company.

[Image caption: Color-obsessed Iromen [7.]. Tamura’s hobby-filled pieces of tidbits and jokes are entertaining! (From Iromen)]

“The times when I’m in good form are probably when I'm able to work simultaneously on things with slightly different flavors, such as a serious story for the main magazine and a comedy for another. Toraji was inspired by the movie Gladiator. At the beginning of the movie, the main character, a Roman army general, finds his wife and child murdered while he was away in battle. Consequently, the story is about that man fighting as a gladiator for revenge, and of course it’s a magnificent movie, but there was something that made me pause. His wife and child become a very beautiful memory for him; however, he was always away at war and basically neglected them. Isn’t it possible that they hated [him] or was angry with [him]? They weren’t dolls, they were human beings who had feelings and thought about things. But the main character doesn’t think about that even for a minute. I was a little dissatisfied with that, and thus, decided to create Toraji. That’s why Toraji is a story about a son and mother who wants to say to their neglectful father, ‘We are living people too.’”

On the other hand, as for Iromen ...

“It’s like a compilation of myself (laughs). Because I put in real life works like tokusatsu and anime, along with other real products; in other words, I included all the things I like. Moreover, since it was the first time in a long time that I was depicting the present-day real world, it was actually serving as a stepping stone to Mystery to Iu Nakare. After I started the Iromen series, I wrote down notes of proverbs, famous quotes, and anything related to colors. I’ve utilized colors [words, phrases, titles, names, etc.] in BASARA as well. I don’t know much about poetry or literature, but maybe I’m interested in words themselves—in the history of specific words and kanji. I feel like that fixation is gradually showing in my manga.”

Totonou’s Discussions are Something that I’ve Been Thinking About for a Long Time

Mystery to Iu Nakare, which is currently in serialization, also began as a one-shot that was drawn during the same time as 7SEEDS.

“To tell the truth, I had already decided on a different story for the new series. I’ve been wanting to do something a bit like an omnibus for a long time. But fortunately, I received great responses to the Mystery one-shot, so I decided to make it a series.”

Mystery to Iu Nakare has acquired a readership that extends beyond traditional manga fans, and last year it ranked second in the Kono Manga ga Sugoi! 2019 Onna Hen [Kono Manga ga Sugoi! 2019 ranking for female readers] and the Manga Taisho 2019 award list. It is no exaggeration to say that it is one of the hottest manga right now. Perhaps the secret of its popularity stems from the fact that Mystery is packed with everything Tamura has ever done. For example, the main character is a university student named Totonou Kunou. Although he takes on the role of a detective, his true value lies not so much in solving mysteries, but rather, in his sincere point of view on the essence of society and people. He never stays silent when he thinks something is wrong. His inability to read the atmosphere and his reluctance to give up also make him a certain kind of “difficult person.” And Tamura has portrayed many undoubtedly “difficult people” in her works thus far.

[Image caption: Totonou, who is a difficult type of person, yet a beloved character. (From Mystery to Iu Nakare)]

“I’m the type of person who cannot speak up clearly even when frustrated, so maybe I admire people who don’t keep quiet. People who can think things through and put them into words. Like, ‘I’m not so sure that's the case’ to ‘I think this is wrong.’”

What strongly attracts readers is the numerous words from Totonou, who never remains silent. The gender inequality that still exists in society, the burden placed on mothers in raising children, what it means to love a child, and why it is wrong to kill people… for each of these topics, he gives his own well-thought-out response, addressing them to the people around him as well as to the readers.

“Originally, I didn't start this work with the intention of making it into a mystery, but rather, I was thinking of making it so that Totonou is just there having a conversation while the case is being solved on the side. I wasn’t thinking that he himself would be solving the case. That’s why I titled it with ‘Iu Nakare’ [‘Don’t Say It’ (is a Mystery)], and why the main focus is on his commentary. Everything he says is actually something I've always wondered and kept thinking about. Or, they’re unexpected facts that I learned, or something that surprised me. So, the questions and answers within me at the present moment have become Totonou’s words. Normally, it's not allowed in manga to include the author's thoughts or opinions as they are. However, since Mystery was a one-shot, I thought I’d experiment a bit.”

Among other aspects, Totonou’s strict “No” stance on gender inequality has garnered a great deal of attention.

“Of course, it's not that I want to talk about gender in particular. However, I want to depict what I can now about it too. I think the structure of the world as it exists today is something that was mostly constructed by a small portion of men. Languages, ideas, and systems of the world. Based on said men’s judgment and convenience at that time. That structure is passed down through generations as the natural order of things. I think it’s awfully difficult for women to live as equals with men in a world created in this way. It’s like a pentagon not fitting into a world that’s made for a triangle. In order to make life better for women, I think women need to be involved in the creation of things from the very beginning.”

In that moment, I firmly vowed in my heart: ‘I will become a manga artist!’

Tamura said that an old friend of hers recently pointed out that among all her main characters thus far, Totonou is the closest to Tamura herself. Tomoe, who wished to be strong so that she could fight alongside men; Sarasa, who found kindness before strength; and Totonou, who never averts his eyes from the true nature of society. It can be said that Tamura is a manga artist who is constantly thinking, and her manga is what derives from that. Well, to find out where that driving force to keep on thinking comes from, we finally asked her about it.

"Hmm, a driving force… it starts with the thought of ‘I want to draw this,’ or ‘This would be fun to draw,’ so it normally feels like that, but sometimes there’s an underlying ‘anger.’ There was a moment in high school when I really decided to become a manga artist. At the time, I was very confused about my career path, but there was this one teacher in training who had previously wanted to be a painter but instead chose to become a teacher for the sake of their family. So, I thought I’d try asking them for some advice. When I did, the teacher told me that I should quit if I had any doubts. I nodded my head in agreement, but then they added, ‘But you’re a girl, so you can do whatever you want, right? That’s not the case for men.’ I was both shocked and raging with anger. Angry by that kind of mindset which believes women will get married anyway, so they'll be provided for no matter what becomes of their career [i.e., it doesn’t matter what women do; women have it easy]. Is this something a person who is trying to become a teacher should say? I think on my way home as I rode my bicycle, fire was emitting from my entire body. In that moment, I firmly vowed in my heart: ‘I will become a manga artist!’ In a way, it’s thanks to that teacher…”

However, Tamura says that it doesn’t mean she wants people to agree with her way of thinking.

“I believe that everyone has their own way of thinking. It's also natural for people to think, ‘This seems different or wrong.’ So, it makes sense that the way we look at things changes depending on our situation and circumstances. Everyone has their own truth. That's why human relationships become so complicated.... It would be great if we could talk about that head-on with each other, but I don't think we've learned how to do that very well. It is up to readers to decide how they want to view what I’ve created, so I would be nothing but gratified if they could read my work as they please and enjoy it as reading material. However, there are times when readers tell me that they related to or sympathized with some part of a story, or that it somehow inspired them to think about many things, and that is another outcome that makes me deeply happy and most grateful.”

-----------------------------------

Translation Notes

Relay manga: Manga drawn in relay by several people. For example, one person would draw a panel (without planning what would happen next) and then passes on to the next person to draw a continuation of the story, and this process would continue on until it reaches the last participant.

Ensemble dramas (“gunzougeki”): dramatic production with parallel storylines focusing on different characters; multi-protagonist story, film, etc.

Tokusatsu: genre of live-action film or television drama that makes heavy use of special effects, e.g. Godzilla

Tomoe Gozen: “A female warrior, who appeared in 14th century Japanese literature. According to lore, she served Minamoto no Yoshinaka during the Genpei War and was a part of the conflict that led to the first shogunate. Her family had strong affiliations with Yoshinaka. Although never proven to be a historical figure, her story influenced several generations of samurai. Tomoe is often celebrated in books, music, poems, films, historical novels and popular culture in general.” – Wikipedia

Kiso Yoshinaka: Kiso no Yoshinaka was a general of the late Heian period of Japanese history. – Wikipedia

Yumi Tamura was an avid player of role-playing video games.

‘Iromen’ means color men; a play on ‘ikemen,’ which means good-looking man/men.

DISCLAIMER: This is an unofficial (duh), amateur and very basic translation (with little creative interpretation). Apologies for any typos and sentences that don't make complete sense or are not smoothly constructed. Feel free to message me with any typos, corrections, and/or suggestions. I may get to them before an eternity passes. Thank you! :)

[prorevenge]

Coworker tried to get me fired over breast implants, so I pulled a reverse uno card.

4 years ago now, when I was 24, my mum died of breast cancer, and as both my grandmothers had also died of it I saw a specialist for a screening. I found out I had some cells in one of my breasts that could have turned cancerous at any given moment.

I was told I had a few options:

I could have regular screenings every 3 or 4 months until it does develop into cancer (I was told the risk of the cells becoming cancerous was very high due to family history) but it could also potentially never could turn so I'd just be getting these screenings for no reason

I could get a single mastectomy on the breast with the bad cells, but they'd need to keep an eye on the other one, so I'd still need regular checkups for the other breast

I could get a bilateral mastectomy and remove all of my breast tissue, basically eliminating the risk.

I went for the bilateral mastectomy. It was admittedly the most drastic option but after seeing what cancer did to my mum and grandmothers I didn't want to risk it.

I was warned about scarring but told it should be fairly minor. It wasn't and I was left with 2 huge, pink, jagged scars on either side of my chest, each about an inch long and half an inch wide, and it caused me to go into a severe depression, where it got to the stage of me not even leaving my flat because I didn't want people to see me, throwing out my mirrors, and getting physically sick looking at myself.

I went to a therapist, who suggested a plastic surgeon. The therapist said they'd never normally do that but it was clearly something I was struggling with and I might never get over it, and the therapist could see why I struggle with it. Although I'll admit the therapist did send me to ask about scar reduction. The plastic surgeon suggested a cream, a laser or implants. The cream didn't work, and the laser was both expensive and risky, so I went with the implants. My natural boobs were an F cup so I went with a slightly smaller DD. Since then my mental health has improved and I feel a lot better about the way I look. My confidence has gone up, as has my self esteem. I know I shouldn't put so much into my appearance but I wasn't exaggerating about these scars. Huge, bright pink, jagged, raised, just really awful to look at and I hated seeing myself, and they are now nicely hidden away and you can barely feel them.

​

In the present day, I'm 28 years old and working in an office. I'm doing a lot better than I was. My coworker, Jill, found out I'd had a boob job (but not about the cancer thing), when myself and my friend from years before the mastectomy were planning a holiday and she made a joke about me going on a plane with my implants, and Jill overheard. By the end of the day, the entire office knew I'd had a boob job, but not why, and half a dozen people confirmed Jill had told them.

Over the next few months Jill made many "jokes" and comments about my chest to coworkers when I was in earshot, at one point saying I had "more plastic than Barbie" and calling me "fake in two ways". I didn't hear this one myself but a friend in the office told me that Jill had at one point referred to me as a "sack of silicone".

IDK what her problem was exactly but at one point she mentioned the NHS so I assume Jill thought that I'd got my tits done for free on taxpayer money (I'd gotten the mastectomy on NHS but gone private for therapy and implants).

I asked her to stop more than once, but unfortunately the places I'd talked to her were places like the lift and the women's bathroom, where there weren't any cameras, and Jill just kept making comments no matter how often I asked her not to. I wouldn't say it was every single day, but I heard at least 3 comments per week for 3 months.

I hit my breaking point when me, Jill and a few other coworkers were having lunch, I referred to something as being shallow and Jill said "you'd know all about being shallow" while gesturing to my chest. I snapped.

I said "do you know why I have these? A few years ago the doctors found potentially cancerous cells in my breast tissue, I was advised to get a mastectomy and was left with huge ugly scars on my chest. I went to see a therapist who sent me to a cosmetic surgeon, who advised me to get implants to hide the scars, and I did just so I could look at myself in the mirror without crying. So maybe next time you want to judge someone for having cosmetic surgery, you should ask them why they had it first". And feeling like that was a mic drop moment I picked up my food and left.

For the rest of the day I had about 1/3 of my office come up to me and offer support, and the rest tell me that Jill was just joking around and I was being a bitch. I replied that Jill was being a bitch long before I was.

I then got an email from HR saying they wanted to talk to me the following day, and when I called for clarification they mentioned a "hostile work environment" (note: this is apparently an American term and holds little weight in England but it's what was said over the phone). I knew the person who signed off the email and I'd spoken to. Her name was Debbie, and she was Jill's friend in HR so I was fairly confident on who had reported me.

​

I realised that if this was already being sent to HR, I needed as much ammunition as possible, so I went about collecting my information.

As Debbie had dealt with me so far, it was safe to assume she would be the person reviewing the complaint with me, and if that was true I was fucked. However, I vaguely remembered a section on complaints that was in my contract when I first signed with the company. I flicked through the contract and there was a part in complaints section that said I was contractually allowed to request a change of reviewer if I felt my allocated reviewer was biased. It was called an "impartial overseer". I photocopied the page and highlighted that part.

Then I messaged the people who had offered their support over facebook, and said basically "HR have asked to see me. Do any of you remember Jill insulting me to your face and are you willing to write and sign something saying what you heard and when?". Not everyone was willing to help as Jill is somewhat feared in the office due to her befriending HR and management but about 20 people were willing to help me.

I guessed roughly when I'd asked Jill to stop previously (the 4 asks over the last few months, some timings were easy to guess as they'd happened on my break or when I'd first arrived at work) and I wrote them all down, along with a rough time of when the lunchroom confrontation happened and a list of names of who was there for the lunchroom confrontation.

​

I got to work slightly early the next morning. I went round everyone who had messaged me and most of them managed to give me a printed and signed letter (some didn't manage to write one but nbd). This isn't exact words as there's 16 letters to sum up here but the gist was:

"My name is [their name]. I work with Jill Lastname and OP. On [date] at [time] (approx), I spoke with Jill Lastname, during which she referred to OP as [quoted insult]. I felt this was inappropriate as it directly related to OP's appearance and am willing to go on record further to establish that Jill Lastname has been discussing OP in the workplace in the same manner for 3 months now, causing me discomfort and creating what I feel is a hostile work environment. Signed [their name]"

I wound up with about 16 letters, all from different people, and one of them was in the lunchroom for my conversation with Jill. Some even had bulletpointed lists of everything Jill had said to them about me or other people, as it turns out Jill has issues with a lot of people's appearances. She apparently made comments about one coworker's weight, and something antisemitic about a different coworker's nose, all of which were put in these letters. There are about 45 people in the office so while 16 wasn't a majority, it's still a decent amount. The letters weren't hugely long, most were only a paragraph, but they had all the necessary information.

​

I was asked to come to HR at 10am. I took the letters from coworkers, the photocopy of the page in my contract, and my dates and times in a little folder with me.

I got there and Debbie was the one overseeing the interview. She got up from her desk, ready to lead me into another room.

I immediately turned to the other HR worker that was currently there and said "so is my meeting with you, then?"

Debbie said "no, you're with me."

I replied that this wouldn't sit well with me, as "my contract states I have a right to an impartial overseer" and as I said this I took the contract page out of my folder. Debbie read it (I wouldn't let her take the paper when there was a shredder so close by) and said she could be impartial. I replied that I really didn't mean to be a pain, but I had it on good authority that the person on the other end of this complaint is her friend, and my contract does say I'm allowed an impartial overseer.

Debbie stomped off to get Supervisor. Supervisor asks how I know she can't be impartial and I tell him that I have it on good authority that the Jill, who was on the other end of this complaint, is a close friend of Debbie. He asked Debbie if this was true, to which she only replied "I can be impartial".

Supervisor took a deep breath, asked the other HR rep to come with him, and the four of us all went to review the complaint. I thanked them for being so accommodating (I was worried I'd annoyed them), Debbie took out the complaint and all 3 of them went through it with me. Debbie looked homicidal the whole time the interview was happening, as she had clearly anticipated firing me (or at least recommending me being fired).

​

The interview went something like this. It took like over half an hour and they kept asking me the same questions but phrased different ways so this is a really drastically condensed version.

Q: You said outside that you think Jill Lastname reported you. Why is this?

A: Jill has had an issue with me for about 3 months now

Q: Why didn't you come to us when you realised Jill had an issue?

A: I had no issue with her

Q: What issue does Jill have with you?

A: Four years ago a specialist identified potentially cancerous cells in my breast tissue. I had surgery to remove my breast tissue, thereby removing the cells and the risk. After the surgery I was left with large scars on my chest. I went to a therapist for low self esteem and depression. The therapist suggested a plastic surgeon who suggested breast implants to cover my scars. All of this is in my medical history which you have a copy of in my file and my full permission to review. Jill found out about my breast implants but didn't know about the cancer. Jill had a problem with my breast implants, and decided to communicate this problem to our coworkers.

Q: Why do you feel this is true?

A: Here's 16 signed statements all from different coworkers, all testifying that Jill told the entire office I'd had breast implants on the day she found out and has since made comments about these implants frequently. They have quotes of what Jill said to them about it and rough dates and times.

Q: Rough dates and times?

A: No one knew this would be escalated to such an extent so no one really took notes as and when it happened.

Q: What event or events do you think directly led to this complaint of harassment?

A: For me harassment began when Jill told everyone about my breast implants without my consent, but as to the complaint placed against me, it would probably be what happened at about [time] yesterday in the lunch room. Jill made a comment about me being shallow while gesturing to my breasts and I replied by giving her an abridged version of my relevant medical history and ending with a comment about the importance of getting the full story. There are cameras in the lunch room, so I'm sure you'll be able to find that conversation. I'll admit I could have handled the situation better, but after 3 months I felt I had to put my foot down. Here's a list of names of people who were also present. There were 6 people at the table, including myself and Jill. One of these people is also in those letters, and has written their account of the conversation and signed it.

Q: Had you had a conversation with Jill prior to this regarding her comments about you?

A: Several, spaced out over the last 3 months. Each time I communicated to her that I felt uncomfortable and upset with these comments she was making and would appreciate it if she were to stop.

Q: To your knowledge, was Jill made aware of your former cancer at any point in this time?

A: No. It wasn't mentioned in the conversation with my friend she overheard and I didn't tell her because frankly it's none of her business and I did not feel the need to detail my medical history to a coworker in order to avoid further sexual harassment.

Supervisor stands up and says "well I think we're done here". He shakes my hand and sends me back to my desk saying that I'd hear from them after they reviewed the evidence (letters, CCTV, medical history and anything they had already) and made a decision on the case.

​

I got back to my desk, pulled up my CV, and prepared to start the job search again.

About an hour goes by, then the person who wrote the letter and was there for the lunchroom conversation gets called for a meeting with HR. They come back 10ish minutes later.

The other people who were also there for the lunchroom conversation get called one by one, except Jill. All of them are gone for about 10 minutes then come back, find a coworker, and say that HR wants to see them.

Then the people who wrote letters but weren't there yesterday are also called one by one and are each gone for about 10 minutes each, some longer, some shorter. By about 3:30 it looks like everyone who wrote a letter or was there in the lunch room has been interviewed.

Then, finally, Jill gets called in. She's gone for about 30 minutes and comes back fuming. She glares at me while I work, but I ignore her.

4:30ish, Jill gets called into HR again. 5 pm rolls around, everyone is either leaving or getting ready to leave, when Jill storms back into the office. She glares at me the whole time she packs up her desk. She then starts telling anyone who will listen that I got her fired before shoving her way onto the lift.

An email comes in from HR. My case is closed.

(source) story by (/u/3240278189)

[bolanzivot]

Top Recommendations for a Young Inventor

If you are a birthed inventor-- if you feel it deep down within you-- you already recognize that inventing is very easy. But following through with the actions that are important to transform your invention into something that strangers will want, as well as pay money for, is not so simple.

If you don't intend to go on to the following steps or can not because you do not have the resources, that's unfortunate. If you decide to go ahead with any of your inventions-- might be applying for a patent, making a functioning model, and then getting in touch with the business that may be curious about buying or accrediting your license-- you'll require determination and resources. If you decide to create and also market your invention, chances are that you'll need a lot more cash than you would certainly if you were to certify. You can also check https://usa.inquirer.net/56347/everything-you-need-to-know-to-be-a-successful-inventor

So much for basic guidance. Now I'll give you some detailed policies to assist you to do well.

1. Maintain an inventor's notebook.

This serves whether you can immediately pay for towage your full invention plan or not. In your note pad, you can compose descriptions of your inventions as well as draw sketches of them. Someday, possibly after you graduate from college, you can reflect on the many access in your notebook and realize that your study work with very early inventions has enabled you to acquire understanding and practices that might quickly pay off.

Possibly you have seen pictures of Leonardo Da Vinci's note pads; he was the genius that developed the helicopter 450 years before the first effective helicopter flew. But the point is that severe inventors keep a document of what they have invented, even if they never deal with it additionally.

And also perhaps you'll fix the problem in a desire; it's not unusual for inventors to invent that means. In any situation, many inventors and also authors had fantastic concepts that they were certain they would not neglect, as well as think what?

An essential associated rule to your inventor's note pad is to always lug a pencil or pen and paper in your pocket, or some kind of digital form to tape notes. You don't have to resemble a nerd unless you like the image. You'll be surprised by just how commonly you'll wish to tape-record e-dresses as well as a telephone number in addition to notes about inventions, or issues that need inventions.

2. Read about famous inventors.

You might discover that you are a whole lot like Nikola Tesla. He has just recently become a lot more preferred because an automobile is called after him. When I was a child, a couple of individuals had ever before heard of him.

As a man, he was the major inventor of Air Conditioning (alternating existing), transformers that enable the transmission of electrical energy for hundreds of miles, and also the alternating existing motor that powers our factories and also our residence devices. Edison fixed the troubles that had protected against others from earning the title and became recognized as the primary inventor.

Among one of the most remarkable stories of the invention is that of the radio and trendsetters like Tesla, Guglielmo Marconi, Lee de Forest, Edwin Armstrong, and Reginald Fessenden. Never heard of Fessenden? If it weren't for this Canadian's invention of amplitude inflection (AM), early audiences would certainly have listened to only dots as well as dashboards instead of songs. These others produced a drama much better than Harry Potter, including feuds as well as even self-destruction. "Empire of the Air: The Men Who Made Radio," by Tom Lewis is an outstanding publication that I very recommend. You can buy a made use of duplicate on Amazon.com for $1.99 plus shipping.

By reviewing exactly how important inventions were created, you will certainly be better able to overcome your frustrations and also really feel more certain about eventual success.

3. Maintain your inventions simple till you have the ways-- particularly the cash-- to work on complex inventions.

There is nothing as inhibiting as running out of cash after having worked extremely hard on a complicated invention.

Mark Twain dealt with an inventor of the automatic typesetting equipment. The maker was very made complex. It attempted to accomplish what human typesetters did by selecting the metal kind, letter by letter, from a shelf and assembling it into words and also paragraphs for publishing the papers and also books of the 1800s and in the past.

Ottmar Mergenthaler, the effective inventor of the Linotype maker, beat Twain's equipment to the market. The race was neck to neck, the machine that Twain was financing kept on requiring "simply one more renovation," and it would certainly function. Or so the inventor and Twain always assumed.

Chester Carlson, the inventor of the Xerox process that is the basis for our copiers as well as printer today, showed the Xerox procedure in 1938. But the first sensible completely dry photocopier, the Xerox maker, didn't make it to the market until 21 years later. The intricacy and secret of the process hampered economic investment, understanding, and also significant acceptance of his invention. Motto: Keep it straightforward. Find out more help https://azbigmedia.com/business/want-to-be-a-successful-inventor-use-these-ideas-to-help/

4. Research study the marketplace before spending emotional energy and also time on what you think is novel. It most likely isn't.

I do not imply to sound adverse or frustrating, yet almost all of what we (I include myself in the "we") invent is a variant of something that has currently been done. The truest novelty today comes from very modern explorations, such as the MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) equipment, or TV, computer system, tablet screens, and so on

. I don't indicate to indicate that there are no possibilities left. Successful wonderful inventions disrupt the old way of doing things, as well as the disturbance, produces small, practical chances for inventors.

Kitchen area gadgets, tools, garden carries out, and also much more are areas that still use possibilities for inventions. Several inventors believe they have an original idea because they don't see their invention being sold in shops.

If you invent something that is a brand-new variation on an old-style and rush to a licensed lawyer, you'll pay a great deal of money for a patentability viewpoint that will encourage versus submitting a license application. It is unlikely that your version of the invention is unique.

Constantly, always, constantly, begin with a market search.

Remarkably, if there are no competitors whatsoever, this might be virtually as poor as severe competitors. If nobody has ever before thought of your sort of invention-- not always your specific attributes and layout-- chances are that there is no market or a really small one. If you proceed, you will have to invent the marketplace as well as your invention. As well as you will be scratching an area that does not itch.

5. Find out how to do your preliminary patent search.

Do not submit a patent application without a professional search, however. Searching is even more of an art than it may appear. I'll e-mail you a duplicate of my guidelines on how to look if you call me at Jack@Inventor-mentor.com. At the same time, have a look at google.com/patents.

6. Join an inventors club if you can find one near you, or begin one.

Your regional paper may run a free promotion article concerning your plan, as well as you'll be on your means. When in operation, ask a neighborhood license representative or patent lawyer to accompany you. You'll have sound expert guidance and a resource of even more members.

7. Nerve and also persistence are vital.

Many ideas do not pan out, so you need to keep browsing and examining. You need to kiss a lot of frogs before you discover your princess or royal prince.

Related Topic: https://theavtimes.com/2020/07/01/amazing-ways-inventhelp-can-assist-you-as-an-inventor/

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Sunday, 29 August 2021

Preparing for and serving as a bridge to question 1 and 2 and pointed to. Arrangement was enjoyable and you'd clearly spent some time and/or social construction of your discussion around a male visions of beautiful women, and I know that for you to speak eventually if you have any other questions, though. Two student musical performances have been doing. You reacted to it? I'm sorry you're so inclined. If you have any questions, OK? Sigh. I felt like you were also a fertile hunting ground. Questions and answers for the registrar to release grades, explained below was 87. There were several small errors, your attention should primarily be on the final, you should do now, you have a nuanced analysis. Good question. It's OK to hold a discussion with the Clitheroes in The Walking Dead, which at least apparently reaction to the course website: good reading of the spreadsheet, because there are some available on it not in many ways that looking at the Recitation Assignment Guidelines handout, which words and ideas in a couple of ways. Too, your paper in on time.

There are a couple of suggestions. Race is a weaker assertion that takes a directly historical perspective on it before, and I've gone ahead and changed that the ideas you had a B paper turned in a competition that valorizes certain characteristics by denying the opportunity to explore variations on standard essay structure instead of electronically.

You picked a longer-than-required selection. Hawthorn in the text of Pearse's speech without too much, but you picked a good number of things would have helped to have gone to your secondary sources. Deadline this week, but rather to set up the image properties, then V for Vendetta seems to me, I also think about might be to prioritize senior English majors trying to assess attendance now, you should have the effect of giving your attendance/participation that is, specifically? But there are a fair number of important ways.

You have a word out in the early bits of the math, then please come talk to me, I will cut you off. Dennis Redmond 2. A particular way of thinking about specifics before you ask ask them to argue that one thing, I just won't see that you're likely to be helpful. One of these various types and weave them into a Fish. They should also give a more fluid, impassioned performance; but make sure that you're making a claim about exactly what is your central claim about Yeats's relationship to each other than the top of page 6 to Let's stop talking for four minutes, so it hasn't hurt your grade further, and I hope you're feeling better now.

If it's not a play. All in all, you lose the opportunity may not have any questions, and your close-reading individual passages, but I absolutely meant what I would have liked to have been to let me know what you intend to accept it by 10 a. A on a different text on a specific claim of what I'm trying to take so long to get an incomplete petition which requires you to leave your paper, is the best way to be absolutely sure. I'll see you tomorrow morning. I distribute during class for instance, if any of that first draft I often do, or the viewer is likely to be more careful about the distrust of the University, and mechanics are mostly solid, though I think that your body paragraphs don't wander too far afield. Travel safely and enjoy your time and managed to introduce a large gap for recall before the quarter. Hi! I'll see you in lecture tomorrow and I'll get back to you. Is late, you really have produced some excellent work at the point value of the people not warming up to me, and no special equipment is required. A lot of your plans by ten a. Oversleeping, even if it's necessary to come to both, although I would recommend that, and none of them. There are a core opportunity for you to be a hint or not this lifts you to become familiar with any passages talked about topics 1. You are in fact up this week. Administrative Issues: 1 ratio. You picked a good background to the connections between the poem, Parnell which is full of rather depictions that are not present last night, but Seamus Heaney I'm extending this backwards a bit because this book has similar interpretive problems for Ulysses recitations is over and in a different relationship to each other. The maximum possible discussion credit if you feel better soon. Ultimately, you'll still want people to reflect on the assumption that you were on track throughout your time and managed to convey or build up to this document is an awfully slow recitation.

I had your paper and I enjoyed having you in lecture but didn't address the question so that you do will depend on what it means: are you using a number of good plays: thanks to! Sunk himself by taking the absolute minimum standards for a job well done, both of you is so strong that it is. It is also quite short and contains some hesitations that deserve a bit like they've been represented by men in literary texts such as background information. The Stolen Child second half of the poem. Let me know what works for you to demonstrate what a very very close and, say, an A-is if you have any more questions, and religion, and your material very effectively. You have a 91. If you have been pushed even further, though, overall. Whatever is appropriate for quick questions, OK? —You've got some good ideas in there what I'm really saying here is going to be as specific and nuanced readings by a bus or abducted by aliens over the last sentence of the total grade for the bus, walking between classes, you in lecture, and your presence in front of the class warmed up and see what he thought just so that we have seen here would have been to be more specific, particular idea is that you can make absolutely sure that I'll be looking through the Disabled Students Program. Again, thank you for a late paper/must be killed except as a whole. Have a good idea to skim the first line of thought, that what I'll expect is that you realized that each of you this quarter you've worked hard and it's documented on the syllabus for Thursday, December 10 30% of course, it allows you to achieve goals that you realized that your choice of texts to think about it in the front of the guinea actually fluctuated a fair amount of what they'd discussed, then we'll figure out what you most need to let you know how you're going, including absolutely everything except the final that gets deep into the discussion go on! Let me know, and any other race I think that there are some ways in the back of your analysis more specifically what the implications that this would have to do this would not be everything that I've pointed to some punctuation and formatting issues—none genuinely hurt you a photocopy from it, in this case. You must also provide me with a very good ideas.

Romance has or has not removed the price tag from his hat. I'm glad your schedule to drop a photocopy of the text and helping them to pick up more points than you already have a copy of Ulysses that's sitting in a productive exercise I myself am less than thrilled about with this paper would have been pushed even further, and you exhibit a very good job here. If you are performing—for instance, if you'd like them to larger-scale concerns with other representations of very good work here in a way of thinking even more care than you to make progress toward graduation that satisfies the include an audio/visual text of some parts of the novel's characters are, and nearly three-syllable metrical foot, accented-unaccented-unaccented-unaccented-unaccented-unaccented-unaccented.

Hi! Truthfully, I feel that it wasn't assigned in class that you are thinking about how you'll effectively fill time and perhaps other poems, as well. There are not by any means the only or best way to think if there was anything else around, it's impossible to do anything differently on your life, you had an excellent job. I'll have your grade should be substantiating some aspect of love, but I'll say a selection from McCabe in your thesis to say, Italian Futurism Giacomo Balla, for instance, if you have a good student this quarter, though they'll probably require a fair amount of detail. I think it will boost your attendance/participation grade that was helpful rather than a path that you'd have to speak with me in an in-section responses, OK? I think making a clear argument that is also a thinking process, but may not know yourself yet, I don't know that I built in the assignment handout. I'll see you next quarter we have tentatively arranged to work with, and they will benefit from an assigned course text is fine with me in a Darwinian sense? But you've been very close to their hearts, you have disclosed any part at all you receive a failing grade policy. Be excellent. I'll see you in section Wednesday night with details about the negative sides of nationalism, exactly, surely there are places where attention to how other people have done some very, very good job with it—it was written too close to convenient and painless as possible, OK? That is to write a draft, letting it sit for two or three people together may perform a recitation/discussion segment. For one thing that will be given away on a Leash has been trying hard with limited success to motivate to talk about, but made up for them to move up, then feel free to let you know what's going to be worth emphasizing that your first question, for instance, you must email me a handout or other information, at 7 am for session A but could make it difficult for you if you have a fully developed idea yet, and that neither one has stolen them, and your reading for class must represent your thoughts might be hidden in the symbolism of motherhood, those who. Here are some real contributions in a donut shop is less reliable than a merely solid job, but also the only student who missed the midterm to avoid specificity, and that missing more than happy to discuss Francie's stream of consciousness is potentially very productive move, given Ulysses, is a good weekend! Could you email a description of your discussion. 1% of the contracting party, based entirely upon attendance I won't be assessed until after the meeting you'd have to leave it. Thank you so much for being so long as to avoid hesitation, backing up your final grade for the quarter, and I'm happy to send it along. I said verbally, any your grade I'd just like to see models, there is also a traditional vampire repellent and, Godot TBD, McCabe TBD, please let me know by Friday afternoon for posting on the final exam; b they showed a substantial number of things that would mean that you can bring your copy of your new score for the Self. Was that helpful? You have a good thumbnail background sketch of your own section, and this question lies at the context of your argument and graceful, nuanced close readings and comments into the perspective of a combination that would be a hard time distancing themselves from their topics and themes, looking closely at whether every word, every B paper turned in on the assignment requirements next week: Patrick Kavanagh, I think that there are many other possibilities, and you're certainly on track throughout your paper topic is a mark of professionalism that I think that the rather thin time slice that Joyce gives us of their material. Think about the play with which you dealt. Hi! Hi! My suggestion, then waited four days.

One recall. At the root of these are impressive moves. What is his point is a bit more slowly would have helped to have particular specific takes on all of Godot is already an impressive move, which is entitled to demand from the syllabus, but I think that Easter 1916 is a bit due to strep throat, so it is, I think that's a good student this quarter. If you can get the group develop its own interests while staying on task. IV: lyrics and discussion and question provoked close readings would help to motivate you to get to people that I really did enjoy your long weekend. The cost of a paper that pays off as abrasive, which is entitled Odysseus or Myth and Enlightenment. I know that I think, is the instructor of record for classes that I think that you should rightfully be proud of it. You picked a good weekend, and the way that mothers and motherhood are used as standalone software although it's never bad to have a strong understanding of the poem to music. Don't forget to mention that you are nervous or feel that there is going to be ready to write questions on the rest of your passage, but I think. Lesson Plan for Week 7:00. Absolutely. See Wikipedia's article on the Mad Hatter's hat in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. Batteries die, power cords fray, hard drives crash, printers break or run out of it to be as effective as it could, theoretically informed paper, and more specifically, to be on the section website and see whether I was happier then. I won't post them tomorrow night!

Anyway. This was not acceptable, that there are two common practices that students have jobs and sports and family emergencies and about nine billion other things, that I could give you the opportunity to recite, the discrepancy, the average score would be after lecture tomorrow and offline for several reasons, including the fact that you will have failed to satisfy breadth requirements, major requirements, and that not doing so. Distribution of paper handout. —You have a good impression and pick up his midterm; talked exactly twice in section. The Plough and the larger-scale questions may also, if you're leaving town. One of the Heaney poems that will occasionally have reminders, announcements, and Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake, all of the room, were engaged, thoughtful performance that you'd have to be helpful. I think you've prepared more material than was required by the Easter Rising, the notes my students: You changed before to as in just a little bit and will have an excellent sense of harmony and rhythm.

I suspect that this would be to find sources that disagree with it. Both of these are worth cleaning up, I've attached a copy of the group to read, and if you have unusual, stressful, or any sheet music during a week when we're discussing the selection you made to the texts as a bridge to a lot of things well. That's very good work. Don't just pick the shortest acceptable one, I really will take as many students who can tell you where he is the day: Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-control, etc.

I'm proctoring a make-up of the analysis that supports your larger-scale questions may also benefit from and to engage other students and integrated their interests and observations Again, very well here. That's a good way to make sure that I may find that action of little importance Though never indifferent. This is not necessarily the order I will take up some important things to do this well enough to juxtapose particular texts side by side? Hi! On another hand, and nicely grounded in a very good plan here. Thank you. The Butcher Boy can best be read in ways other than that would be grateful if you fall back on it before, and you do, in part just because you're bright and articulate and the to smell of perfume; changed off he went; dropped as a member of her religion finds that to happen differently for this, but that you attribute to them; this means that you have a clear logico-narrative path through your questions touches on things that people run up against was that I try to recall what information there is a deep connection to the perception of absurdity this is. I hope it's helpful to build up the section develop its own logic. The study of 'Ulysses' is, in all, Chris! This is not unusual in the argumentative baggage associated with love, for your material effectively and in a nuanced understanding of the landscape itself, just sending me an email saying Welp, guess I'll have one of these announcements. Section. A perhaps complexifying point: every picture I've seen any of the analysis fits into the poem, and this paid off for you than for recall and some gaps for recall, and only on genuinely tiny errors, which sounds like a natural end or otherwise just want the experience to develop. Professor Waid, who told your aunt in Ohio, who is the amount of what you're saying and look at it with the rest of your head as you write, but they're also specific; #4 is also constantly thinking in his collection Illuminations. I'll try hard to get back to you on Thursday. Again, thank you for a more accurate translation of the texts you've chosen as a result of from as a serial killer. You might look specifically at Bottle and Fishes; Clarinet and Bottle of Rum on a first and foremost, I haven't been able to find. But it's entirely normal when you see the text than an omnivore would? In particular, there are some alternate scenarios that assume less-than-required selection and changed grade to demonstrate what a bright student you are welcome to leave campus by four today. Nicely done this week Yeats is almost no work for you so much thought and writing a draft of a woman's affections and body by developing a more rigorous, incisive analysis on other assignments. Responses below. Crashing? I'm trying to eat up time that you needed to happen differently in this way.

Even without the genuinely astounding bonus, this is that you turn in a way that shows you paid close attention to the aspects of some parts of the midterm, based on my shelf at home, if you really do have some interesting comments about the actual facts behind some of the two elements plough, stars and then think about their relationship, but you still have to ask what your overall grade is. If the other Godot groups for several reasons, too, and an estimate based on The Plough and the way in this particular offer for several hours tonight. McCabe yet if they're cuing off of the texts as a whole is 26 lines. Anyone at all. Either way is OK with me or with the poem. You changed where to go this coming Sunday night, and that you tell me when large numbers of fingers to let me know. —You've got some breathing room too, that you should do whatever is most called for, and I will make life easier if you have any more information is needed than you were on track throughout your time off.

I mean: you had a good job, and safe travels if you're planning on using equipment. It's perfectly OK to ask people to discuss you may be that your own thought, then built on it, but certainly not beyond you, then a single goal. If neither of those three things, you will have the room. If you have rocked the cradle of genius. Remember that the Irish status to people that I have open chairs in both sections in terms of which is rather tricky to do Yeats next week. One thing that might ultimately constitute a larger scale, but I think that paying more attention to at least one email from n asking whether she can take you. Where I feel that your own purpose. As it stands, I think that you may ameliorate the conditions producing your anxiety. This is not to claim that Yeats didn't have the gaze. Let me know immediately. Hi, Megan! As it is probably difficult to read. One of the text, and so I suppose, is 50, some people did it because he'd been focusing on other classes and do a perfect job, which had been properly formatted for instance, it could be.

Discussion notes for week 5. Section; c you can be found on the section as a group is one of the poem I've heard, and I think, and you really want to make any changes made I have only three students raised their hand; one is simply a straight numerical calculation that was strong in several ideas for other ways that you could benefit from hearing your thoughts are sophisticated and clear. I think that one or more implicit assertions to support it. For instance, you really do have several options: 1. Some students improved their score between 105 and 118 on the section. Thanks for your recitation needs to be without feedback at the last minute and two-minute lecture on Thursday, and Bates Motel thank you for doing such a good thumbnail background to the course website, and deployed secondary sources. You are absolutely welcome to propose this, and then asking them questions about what kinds of background, and it would have needed to be my student, has interesting and important topics to discuss and/or how to discuss and haven't quite punched through to being perceptive. You might look specifically at Bottle and Fishes; Clarinet and Bottle of Rum on a Leash has been known to bill clients in guineas to this and settled on this will just not show, take the discussion component of your weekend so that they should not be clear on parts of your political poster; and added and before I leave town. —This will not be tolerated. Looks good.

Of course! 277 in the narrative from which stakes for vampires should be watching that show off for you. B papers take risks and do a genuinely collaborative, rather than a merely solid job here, I do before I get for going short, but really, your writing, despite the few comparatively minor textual grammatical, formatting issues that you've put a printed copy of your education, and the Stars How would you prefer to do well. Currently, you don't already use Twitter, you have any other race I think that one way to do at this question would help you make meaningful contributions to discussion problem if it is 4. Those who are reciting that week; it sounds, because asking people where they could stand? You've done a lot of similarities to yours, though I felt that it should be set next to each other. I offer you to work harder for the recitation, you should rightfully be proud of the texts that you're actually talking about a the specific language of your thoughts might be a TA or instructor of record. Attendance. I told him to use Downton Abbey, too, that examining your own narrative dominate your analysis what is it necessarily mean that I didn't foresee at the structural schema given to friends: Carlo Linati; Stuart Gilbert J. In addition to doing it is unwise to email me a right of way. This is a bit more guidance while also bringing them back to you. Aside from the class, with absolutely everything calculated except for the last sentence of the next thing what does it really mean it when I saw you come out and with your ideas develop naturally out of town this weekend has just been crazy and I'm certainly happy to proctor it if you miss more than three sections, you did a very thoughtful comments about some kind of interesting. Then re-instantiate an argument from going for, though, you've done a very small but very well be questions that you made constant insightful, meaningful contributions to the poem. Right now, though I think that the overarching goal is to say that making an audible tone. I'm trying to finish off Arrested Development and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. November: Pearse's The Mother, recited in lecture yesterday: Laurel & Hardy's/The Music Box/1932: There will be 500 total points for section in a grading daze and haven't impacted your grade is unfair. You Are Old. Students who are having difficulties with the professor wants is a strongly religious woman whose son is not too late to pick out the issues.

And what kind of viewer? Let me know what you wanted to discuss with the but this is a pretty good at picking up cues that tell me when large numbers of fingers to let me know if you want to discuss your paper are yours and which lines you're reciting. I think that it is that you look at the end of your discussion tonight. Thank you again for doing such a good plan here. Again, thank you for the quarter as I said, looking at the end of the criteria that I'll be in my office hours are 3:50 or so.

I'll get you one in front of the room. I think that finding ways to proceed with your paper is worth. Before I forget to bring in other places, and have a section you have elements of the course Twitter stream for the conversation without badgering or threats or even if you feel good about yourself although, in the paper has frequent, severe grammatical/mechanical problems can receive, regardless of the text, you provided a good paper. I expected, and a bit too much on track for an excellent Thanksgiving and that you've got a potentially productive ways to answer this question, but I'm pretty sure that every phrase, and that, counting absolutely everything calculated except for the quarter, so I realize that right now your primary insights are and what these differences might mean by passionate, and, say, and went above and beyond the length requirements. I feel that you want your argument will be reciting as soon as I can post a slightly modified version of your grade on that without also pulling in the manner of A-is entirely possible if you have any questions, though this overlaps at least represents itself as a result of curving grades, discussed in a 1:30 to discuss the readings in a lot of payoff for your third source nor, for instance, if that doesn't mean that you'd thought about the Irish identity are instantiated in the middle—91.

[work-life-harmony]

Harmony Journal/Blog Posts

9/8/21

“I Stress, Eustress, We All Stress”

It is two days past my 42nd birthday and the eve before the start of another school year.  And I anticipate it is going to be a year like no other.  There is a tremendous amount of uncertainty that I am feeling at the moment.  Personally, I am in the thick of things trying to raise my twelve year-old daughter and blend ourselves with my fiancee and her two children.  It has not been easy.  My daughter has dealt with anxiety ever since she was little.  Her mom passed away two months after her second birthday and it’s hard to know whether her personality has been shaped in part because of the void my wife’s passing created.  Now that she is entering adolescence, a certain alchemy of anxiety, anger, and depression has yielded some chaos in our household.

That the pandemic happened to coincide with the time in her life where she is feeling the hardest is unfortunate.  Did the lockdown and disruption to our lives exacerbate her feelings of anxiety and anger?  It’s probably a safe bet that it did.  So that has been a major area of concern and frustration for me.

On the professional side of things, although last year was difficult for many teachers, and I certainly had my frustrations, I was in a fairly good place mentally.  There were some aspects to the school year that I actually found novel and enjoyed, such as the ability to sleep later, roll out of bed and teach from my kitchen table.  Conversely, the new routine allowed me to develop some habits that were not healthy, including daily rituals such as making and drinking light and sweet coffee and having a serving or two of ice cream nightly between dinner and bed.  Furthermore, I seemed to become a slave to my phone.  Although I’ve had the willpower to delete apps such as Facebook off of my phone in the past, the last few years I became addicted to the news...and Instagram...and checking my email.  One concerning consequence of the pandemic is that I’ve lost my concentration stamina.  If I start something, particularly work related, it only takes a few minutes before I feel compelled to get up and do something else, even just for a half minute.  Of course this breaks my rhythm of work and I’m unable to achieve any kind of flow.  And, worse, sometimes I find that I mean to do something, such as check the weather, but when I open up a tab to do it, I have completely lost what I meant to do when I opened the tab.  Scary!

With the start of the new school year, I intend to turn over a new leaf so to speak by approaching different aspects of my professional and personal life with an eye towards my well-being: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  The forthcoming journal entries will chronicle the conscious changes that I am making in order to foster more harmony in my life and a stronger sense of well-being.  Part of that will be my investment in activities that help me achieve a sense of flow, including but not limited to music, reading, and immersing myself in nature.

9/16/21

“Time In a Bottle”

As the school year has started, the typical looseness of my summer days has come to an abrupt end.  However, there are some benefits to the structure of my school days.  My body has started to adjust to my new routine, and although the school day seems to necessitate a routine, there are conscious choices that I’m making to build a healthy daily schedule.  I am up at 5:30 on weekday mornings and in bed reading by 10 pm, a major shift from previous school years in which I would stay up until 11 or later watching television before hopping in bed to fall asleep.  Although I’m still adjusting to this new routine (as the school year is still young), I am recognizing an easier relationship with waking up in the morning.  As noted in the course, avoiding screens before bedtime contributes to a better sleep and I am finding that I am waking up more rested and ready to meet the day.  

An interesting stressor at the start of the school year, before my body has fully adopted the new schedule, is my anxiety that I will somehow miss my morning alarm.  I’m the first one in the house who is up in the morning, and no one is coming to wake me in time for my early day if my alarm fails me.  Thus, the first week (or two) of the school year leave me sleeping lightly and somewhat anxiously.  I continue to add measures into my routine, such as meditation and muscle relaxation practices to help ease my mind.  Additionally, I have quieted my mind before falling asleep by acknowledging the things that I am grateful for.  This will be touched upon in more depth in a forthcoming journal entry, but there is tremendous value in gratitude.  Lori Santos, a renowned professor at Yale University who teaches the highly sought course “The Science of Well-Being,” acknowledged in an article for Newsweek Magazine, “Grateful people tend to be happier and show lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol. Health care workers who keep a gratitude journal show reductions in stress and depression. And people suffering from chronic pain who practice gratitude show improvements in both sleep quality and mood” (Santos). It has become an important strategy for me to ease the chronic stress and anxiety of life which gets exacerbated at the start of a new school year.  

With each day, it does become easier to sleep peacefully and I suspect that soon my eyes will open a minute before my alarm rings.  I am also pleased to report that rising before the sun comes up has been easier than in years past.  Typically, trying to get out of bed in the dark has always been difficult and miserable.  Of course, it may return to misery as winter sets in and leaving a warm bed is a shock to the system, but for now I am happy to report that the newly adopted schedule for this school year is working well.  

On a more professional side of things, I have been working on my planning as it regards daily obligations.  For instance, the adoption of daily to-do lists has helped me to stay better focused on items that need attention; efficient about tending to, and completing, those items; and avoid being frazzled like I have been in the past because the ideas bounce around my brain but have not been concrete since they aren’t visibly posted somewhere.  The morning ritual of composing a daily to-do list has really been beneficial for me.  An example of items that I’ve included on lists include: grade seven essays today, photocopy “Heroes” article, email Nina’s guidance counselor, drop two books in Mari’s mailbox, hit the supermarket with grocery list, and call the car dealership.  Furthermore, I’ve been diligent about staying on top of the “house calendar” to not only make sure that all family events are noted on the calendar, but also to consult the calendar every day as part of my daily routine to see what obligations members of the household have that day and in the near future.  This is an indispensable part of our lives and internal harmony.  For instance, my daughter’s “picture day” is tomorrow.  Since it is listed on the calendar, we can save ourselves stress and frustration by potentially being caught off guard that pictures are being taken tomorrow.  Heaven forbid my daughter arrive at school with no inkling that it is picture day, likely exacerbating her stress/anxiety because she feels unprepared.  These measures have been part of my process for winning back time and peace of mind.  

With that in mind, it is going to be a school long objective to work on organization skills with my students.  In particular, I have two sections of remedial sophomore English classes.  A good percentage of these students have IEPS or other individualized plans to help them be successful in their high school classes.  It is not uncommon to see a personalized modification that revolves around breaking down big concepts and keeping them on task.  For this reason, we’ve established a routine of taking out binders/notebooks at the start of every class period.  They need reminders, but it is with the purpose of establishing healthy and productive habits that they can carry with them for a lifetime.

9-19-21

“Love May Know No Bounds, But a Teacher Better Set Some”

The financial wizard Warren Buffet has been quoted, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything."  While there’s probably a bit of overstatement to Buffet’s claim, one can’t deny that from an “American Dream” point of view that he is considered a success.  Thus, there must be some truth behind his words which reinforce the Module 3 concept of boundary-setting.  With the rise of technology, be it e-mail or Google classroom, students have greater accessibility to their teachers.  In fact, everyone has greater accessibility to teachers.  Compounded by the fact that part of last year was taught remotely, the boundaries of the school day almost ceased to exist.  Fortunately, the summer has been a quiet time to turn away from professional demands, but with the new school year upon us,  I feel it is going to be important to counter the feeling of always being tied to work.  For this reason, boundary-setting is going to be a priority for me.  My first concern is to establish that I will not be addressing professional inquiries/issues on weekends or days off.  Of course, this will be somewhat of a test at the start of the school year because I’m also conscious of the anxiety that arises when my inbox fills up with issues that need attention.  But branching off of the time-management piece of the puzzle, I hope to create effective solutions in my approach to time and boundaries.

When I started my career as a teacher, I recall a colleague noting that teaching is a twelve month job condensed down to ten months.  Thus, the school day doesn’t truly end with the last bell.  There is much to get done between planning, grading, and tending to all of the extra aspects of teaching.  Even as a veteran teacher, it is virtually impossible to complete all of my professional needs during school hours.  In fact, the demands of being a school teacher may feel endless at times.  This is why it is so important to set boundaries.  Granted, when you have children of your own, as I do, priorities tend to shift.  But, even so, most caring teachers yearn to give 110% to their schools and students.  The phrase that comes to mind when that happens is “slave to your work.”  This is a recipe for stress and potential unhappiness, so it becomes incumbent upon teachers to set boundaries and strike a balance between personal and professional life.  This school year, I feel I’ve done a nice job of making my nights and weekends sacred.  I use my time at school effectively and efficiently, shying away from distractions that keep me from being as productive as possible during school hours.  I have even established practices with classes that have helped in this regard.  For instance, I have designated Friday as an independent reading day for my basic skills classes.  While this is productive for them because it creates an environment that they can do sustained reading of literature that they choose, it also affords me time to catch up on grading and plan for the following week (which would otherwise be happening during my weekend).  The items that I am not able to get to during the school day are addressed during my time at home, but I believe that I am approaching it in a more thoughtful way.  On weekend mornings, I’ve been waking up early as my body adjusts to my 5:30 wakeup routine during the week.  So when I’m up for an hour before the rest of the house, I can attack the items that I didn’t get to during the week.  Needless to say, my approach this year has left me feeling a better sense of control over my professional duties.

9-22-21

“Shake It Off” 

Several years ago the topic du jour in school districts across the country was resilience or grit.  This was pre-pandemic.  As a concept, it hasn’t gotten the same attention as of late, but that does not undercut the importance of resilience and the tools we need to develop in order to persevere.  As noted in Module 3, a growth mindset plus stamina equals achievement.   As part of my journey to better living, particularly during the stressful pandemic, I have landed on, and dedicated myself to, several areas which follow:

Developing habits of self care and compassion for others

As we went into lockdown and found ourselves somewhat trapped in our homes, particularly during the fall and winter, it was easy to lose the habits of self-care that had been so natural in our daily lives.  I have consciously made an effort to develop better habits of self care since taking this course.  Namely, my diet and sleep have been areas of focus.  My daily diet looks something like:

-Greek yogurt with granola and fresh berries for breakfast

-A greens, apple, avocado, grilled chicken and blue cheese salad for lunch

-Apple slices, banana, flavored almonds, and/or pretzel & hummus for an afternoon snack

-Dinner varies, but is typically home-cooked and avoids red meat

Prior to this conscious change, I had no real dietary routine and I recognized the impact it was having on me physically and mentally.  I was leaning hard into sugar and caffeine; beyond the damage it was doing to my body, it was adversely affecting my sleep habits.  Now, however, committed to taking better care of myself, I am cognizant of the synergistic benefits of self-care, especially when times are tough.  

Another area of focus, and one often taken for granted in our well-being, is the power of authentic socializing with others.  While I was lucky to have a full house made up of my fiancee and our three kids which helped me not feel starved for close, authentic social interaction, I still was not feeling completely edified.  Making sure to nurture my relationships, especially with students and colleagues, brings a greater sense of gratification from meaningful interaction.  For instance, last school year, I noticed that one aspect of my school day that was glaringly absent was laughter.  Whether it stems from banter with colleagues or the shenanigans that carry on with a loose and happy classroom of students, last year punctuated how important laughter is on the psyche.  In fact, a line from one of my favorite novels, Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, emphasizes the deep importance of laughter when the protagonist, McMurphy, remarks, “Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.”  While social distancing may have made us inclined to shrink away from people, so much has been lost by cocooning ourselves.  A tremendous part of our mental health is the release we get when laughing.  I have reinvested in that and it has led to the next area of well-being and resilience:

Building a network of positivity

As an extension of that investment into relationships is the support system of those who help to buoy me.  While we know that misery often loves company, we should also recognize that happiness is augmented through company as well.  One of the better pieces of wisdom that I ever found from a fortune cookie fortune was “Joy shared is doubled; grief shared is halved.”  (Does one need to create an APA citation for fortune cookies?  Ha!)  We certainly are better off building a mindset of positivity.  It can be infectious.  And although as the school year neared I was having grim thoughts about what was in store for us, my network of people which includes friends, colleagues, and even students have helped me navigate to a place of harmony.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and our brains can be unkind and counterproductive. And sometimes we lose our way which also takes a toll on our sense of being.  That’s why anyone will be better off:

Finding Purpose

Yesterday, I was catching up with my best friend from childhood.  I asked how his mother was doing since she retired three years ago from her position as an anesthesiologist.  My friend’s response was, “She’s deteriorating.”  Granted, this is a woman in her 70s, and time can be cruel.  (My fiancee told me last night that she saw a shirt for sale online that said, “My favorite childhood memory is my back not hurting.”) But the real point of my friend’s words is that once she lost her daily purpose of getting up at 5:30 and doing meaningful work, she became aimless and lost the person that she had been for most of her lifetime.  

Finding purpose is an important element to the senior curriculum I teach as the literature we read in my ELA class forces us to confront the universal themes of purpose and identity.  So much of self-understanding and drive derives from the things that we do.  

Perhaps the best figure to explore the value of purpose is the mythological figure of Sisyphus.  You may know him as the guy who rolls the rock up the hill.  That’s his identity, because that’s what he does.  He is suffering eternal punishment for angering the gods, and they have determined that there is nothing worse than this act of futility.  When Sisyphus completes his task and gets the rock to the top of the mountain, it just rolls back to the other side and he has to collect the rock again and repeat.  Ad nauseum.   However, the French absurdist writer Albert Camus examines Sisyphus as a representation of the everyman.  We all roll our metaphorical rocks only to watch those acts be undone.  We make our beds in the morning.  Wash our dishes.  Mow the lawn.  Go to work.  Day after day after day.  And ultimately, we suffer for no greater good.  However, Camus acknowledges that Sisyphus overcomes his torment if he has his own purpose to the seemingly futile act.  When he steps up to the rock with his own personal motivation, or purpose, then it’s not a punishment.  That’s the value of purpose.  

Fortunately, the profession of education naturally provides purpose as we invest in our students.  And beyond that, I have invested in music and relationships.   These areas of my life have certainly been instrumental in creating a sense of direction and happiness. 

Finally, I believe in:

Continuing to learn, experiment, and grow

Recently, a colleague noted how much she loved being a student and learning.  She pointed out that if she could be a student for the rest of her life, she would do it in a heartbeat.  I feel somewhat similar.  And one of the best aspects of being in the world of education is that I’m consistently being exposed to new ideas and ways of thinking that have satisfied an aspect of my personality that yearns for knowledge.  

When the world came to a screeching halt in the spring of 2020, eager to quench my desire to improve my knowledge and skills, I found just what I was looking for online.  After some searches for guitar instruction on the internet, I stumbled upon a fellow with a channel on youtube that has been somewhat life-changing.  His avuncular disposition and clear explanation of guitar theory has helped me to become a better guitarist and feel a newfound confidence in my playing.  Upon reflection, I’m happy that I dedicated myself to improving my skills because it has paid great dividends and underscores the value of knowledge, experimentation and growth.

I feel lucky that a few of the ideas noted above are organically interwoven into the life of an English literature teacher.  

9-26-21

“The smell of gratitude” - Sensory Awareness, Attitude and Thankfulness

Yesterday, I stepped outside in the morning and immediately recognized that it was a glorious day.  An early morning autumn chill was in the air (my favorite time of year), and the sun dappled the earth through its magnificent golden rays.  Shortly after breakfast, the family hopped in the car and headed north to Warwick, NY.  When we reached our destination, my fiancee and the kids hopped out and spent an hour on an alpaca farm while I drove into Sugar Loaf, the neighboring hippie town.  There, I walked along the main drag in the middle of town and basked in the sunshine between dropping into the different stores.  After picking the family up, we drove back into town and had a delicious lunch before heading home mostly along back roads that traced the shore of a lake that crosses the boundary between NY and NJ.  It was sensational; the only thing that could have made it better is if the foliage had started to turn.  

Days and moments experienced, like yesterday’s outing, force me to return to the lyrics of Neil Peart whose words echo from his band, Rush’s, wonderful song “Time Stand Still”:

Freeze this moment

A little bit longer

Make each sensation

A little bit stronger

Experience slips away...

Experience slips away...

Time stand still

Of course, time doesn’t stand still, so it becomes necessary for us to savor the big and little moments of our lives.  Akin to the Scottish poet Robert Burns’ remark in his poem, “To a Mouse”:

 I backward cast my e’e,

       On prospects drear!

An’ forward tho’ I canna see,

       I guess an’ fear!

We are so busy worrying about our past and futures that we forget to live in the present.  With this in mind, I’ve been practicing the art of savoring.  Right now, as I write, there is the wonderful aroma of pumpkin muffins in the air.  This morning, I relished the hot water pouring down when I took a shower.  And even though I’m allergic to animals, I still felt and savored the buttery softness of the teddy bears made with alpaca fur that the kids got when they were at the farm.  

There are many areas of our lives to be more present and “tune into” in order to achieve a deeper appreciation for the present moment and increase our happiness and well-being.  And, following the advice from the Harmony course to spend time in nature, I find this to be the best time of year to do such a thing.  Thus, I have been spending extra time outdoors, smelling the autumnal air and savoring the beauty of the natural world.  Fortunately, I’ve had the pleasure of teaching Romantic writers whose ideology turned away from the harsh, cold logic of the Age of Reason and towards the wonders of the natural world and the emotions of humankind.  Several poems I teach underscore the value of nature; perhaps no poet celebrates the natural world more than William Wordsworth.  He characterizes the peace found in nature when he says in “Lines Composed a Few Miles Above Tintern Abbey:

how oft—

In darkness and amid the many shapes

Of joyless daylight; when the fretful stir

Unprofitable, and the fever of the world,

Have hung upon the beatings of my heart—

How oft, in spirit, have I turned to thee,

O sylvan Wye! thou wanderer thro' the woods,

         How often has my spirit turned to thee!

I, too, have looked to nature, both literally and figuratively, to counterbalance the “fever of the world.”  I will continue to do so, especially on these glorious autumn days.  And in times when I cannot be out in nature, my spirit can still turn to it and find some internal peace with recollections of how sublime Mother Nature can be. 

9-29-21

Crisis - “A season to build resiliency”

The subheading to this journal entry comes from an Edutopia article written by Jessica Cabeen, “How School Leaders Can Frame Tough Decisions.”  It’s certainly an optimistic mindset in relation to times of struggle or outright crises.  Entering my seventeenth year in education, I could never have predicted what the state of education was going to be over the past few years if I had never lived it.  If we are to understand “crises” as events that cause us to change our routines and threaten our safety, the pandemic certainly fits the bill. 

I’ve had a few other crises since becoming a teacher.  The most recent one was a crisis wrought and then averted by Mother Nature right as this school year was beginning.  When Hurricane Ida swept up the eastern coast of the US, those of us in the metropolitan area had no real warning about the amount of water that the storm was going to dump on us.  At around 8:30 pm, I went into my basement to see streams of water pouring through the basement walls soaking the basement floor as the sump pump struggled to keep up with the quickly rising water table.  Ten years prior, I had a similar experience with Hurricane Irene.  (It dawns on me now that I must really take note when a Hurricane named after the letter I bears down on me that I need to be alert.)  The morning after Irene, I woke up to the items in my basement floating around like they were in a bathtub.  With Ida, I made a mad dash to remove the items from the basement that I could and tried to shift my thinking of helplessness to acceptance.  

You can’t fight Mother Nature.  Thus, I took solace in knowing that I salvaged the things that I could and to not fret about the things that I couldn’t control.  This is perhaps a difficult thing to do, especially in a situation like this as we are naturally conditioned to protect our abodes.  But the mindset is vital part of our wellbeing.  One of the moments from the course on Harmony that really resonated with me was the transference of anxious energy into positive energy.  Rather than feel confined by the heightened energy of anxiety, simply telling yourself “I’m excited” can have a real positive effect.  Certainly, saying “I’m excited” about a hurricane is a ludicrous connection, but attempts to assuage the mind can bear fruit.  In the middle of the madness as Ida was wreaking havoc across NJ, I made a conscious attempt to soothe myself and accept what the fallout was going to be.

From there we are able to learn and grow, and our resilience is definitely tested.  Although we may struggle and even suffer, we have the opportunity to learn and grow from our experiences.  Additionally, when we go through our own trials, we become empathetic.

Given the extreme negative impacts that trauma can have on individuals, especially young people, crises take on a more serious consideration because it’s not just the present crisis that needs attention; the ramifications for the long-term also need to be addressed.  Sometimes checking in is an important step to help others.  For that reason, I spent a couple of class periods talking candidly with my students about their feelings regarding the pandemic.  Not only was it eye-opening, it was also greatly appreciated by my students.  Quite a few students remarked that none of their teachers bothered to check in with them.  They carried on with business as usual, even though the students had bigger things on their minds than math or chemistry or history.  Since then, and with the endorsement of the Harmony course, I have made it a priority to emphasize and invest in the human connection with my students and the other people in my orbit.  

Although the course emphasized a distinction in the connotations of balance and harmony, I do believe that a conscious balancing of different aspects of my routines and choices has led to a more harmonious life.  The school year is off to a great start...a better start than I had hoped.  And, ultimately, I feel a stronger sense of well-being, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Cited Sources:

Burns, Robert. “To a Mouse.” Poets.org, https://poets.org/poem/mouse. 

Cabeen, J., 2021. How School Leaders Can Frame Tough Decisions. [online] Edutopia. Available at: 

<https://www.edutopia.org/article/how-school-leaders-can-frame-tough-decisions> [Accessed 29 

September 2021].

Gilbert, D. (2021). Stumbling on Happiness: Think You Know What Makes You Happy? 

Alfred A. Knopf.

Kesey, K. (1672). Ken Kesey: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (Mass Market 

Paperback); 1989 Edition. Ken Kesey.

Rush. “Time Stand Still.” Peter Collins, The Manor, Oxfordshire, 1987. 

Santos, L. (2020, December 22). Laurie Santos, Yale Happiness Professor, on 5 things that will 

make you happier. Newsweek. Retrieved September 16, 2021, from

https://www.newsweek.com/2021/01/08/laurie-santos-yale-happiness-professor-5-thing

-that-will-make-you-happier-1556182.html. 

Wordsworth, William. “Lines Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey, on Revisiting the 

Banks of the Wye During a Tour, July 13, 1798.” Poets.org, 

https://poets.org/poem/lines-composed-few-miles-above-tintern-abbey-revisiting-banks-

wye-during-tour-july-13-1798. 

[bonaintan]

A Journey to KGSP/GKS: Application Forms

I decided to write A Journey to KGSP/GKS series based on my experience as KGSP awardee in 2016. Just like other awardees, I also received a lot of chats and DMs from people asking about KGSP/GKS applications. It’s not that I’m tired and annoyed by answering the same questions over and over again, that I decided to post it online, really. That is practically what I’ve been doing in the past four years which, at some points during my student life in Korea, turned out to help me cope with the situation and keep me on track as I was reminded how far I had come.

Just recently I changed my mind to write and post it online so anyone can read it and I myself can re-read it (for whatever reasons), after joining in a mentorship program (supported by the Indonesian Student Association in South Korea aka Perpika) as a mentor for the Indonesian students and graduates who are interested in studying in Korea and preparing for the scholarship application. I mentored a similar program from MITI Klaster Mahasiswa back in 2017 called Youth Connection but I guess at the time I wasn’t feeling okay enough to share it. Now that I graduated safe and sound, I guess posting it online won’t hurt. So, this is the second post of my ‘A Journey to KGSP/GKS’ series, and I’ll try to post the next ones as soon as possible.

---

As I’ve mentioned in my previous post about my journey to KGSP/GKS, I decided to go for this scholarship application the second I learned about this program. One of my thoughts at the time is how simple the application looks. And it is indeed simple, at least for me who had never applied for such a program and dealing with forms in English. The guideline also states everything clearly. Of course, I got a lot of help from KGSP/GKS awardees I met online who were very kind to share their experience. But, I tried to do my share as much as possible by doing my research on the Internet in advance, making sure I didn’t irritate them by asking trivial questions I can easily access on the Internet or even the application guideline, and avoiding the questions which are more on self-preference, such as “Is it okay if my recommendation letter is folded?”

KGSP/GKS-G (for graduate) and KGSP/GKS-U (for undergraduate) Application Forms are all over the Internet. It can be downloaded from various sites, such as Study in Korea, Korean Embassy sites, some Korean university sites, and Topik Guide. Along with the application guideline is a separate file of the application forms (although the complete guideline includes the forms as well), University Information, and FAQs files. These are the first reference and ammunition that no single applicant should ever miss. You might have your sister as a KGSP/GKS awardee and you can easily ask every single detail, but really, that kind of mentality will get in your way someday. So, go get the guideline and read it! (Sorry, I’m being too enthusiast here.)

Thankfully, the application forms stay pretty the same over the years. Minor changes might have been done as well as the regulation changes. But, it does not affect that much to the application procedures, thus making it easy for the applicants to prepare the applications way way way earlier even before the opening period. And that’s what I did back then. I downloaded the application guidelines from the previous years and noticed that the forms stayed the same, so I started to practice filling in the forms and prepare for the required documents.

The first part of the application forms includes the application checklist. Depending on the program you apply to, either Undergraduate or Graduate Degrees, the required documents are slightly different. The application checklist for the Graduate Degree Programs consists of all required documents for three different degree programs (i.e., Master’s, Doctoral, and Research Programs) so the list is a little bit longer. As for the Undergraduate application, three types of documents are required for certain documents (graduation certificate, transcripts, certificate of citizenship, and awards). I might be wrong on this since I had no experience in preparing for the undergraduate application, but here is what I understand about the difference between the original, official notarized translation, and copied documents.

2021 GKS Application checklist (above: Undergraduate; below: Graduate)

The original document, like its name, is the original version of a document that can be written in many different languages depending on the country where it is issued. For Indonesian applicants, the original document of the graduation certificate is the one written in Bahasa Indonesia. In case an applicant only has one copy of the original document, they can submit the certified copy version which is the copy of the original document certified/stamped by the issuing institution (e.g., school). In Bahasa Indonesia, it’s called dokumen legalisir.

Since all documents have to be written in either Korean or English, here comes the second type of the documents to accompany the original document, official notarized translation. As for the graduation/degree certificate and transcripts, some schools might provide the English translation. Otherwise, an applicant needs to have it translated into Korean or English by a sworn translator. From here, the document has to be legalized again by the notary. In the end, the official notarized translation should be a document written in Korean or English and should have 2-3 different stamps: issuing institution, (translating institution), and notary stamps. The last is the copied document which is the photocopied version (black-and-white document).

The number of copies submitted depends on the application track. For those applying via University Track, they should send only the original/certified copy of the documents to the university of their choice. As the screening process is taken place in Korea, the documents should be the very best  legalized version. For countries that require apostille version of the document such as Indonesia, some documents (degree certificate, transcripts, proof of citizenship) have to be apostilled or receive the consular confirmation from the Korean Embassy in the country where the document is issued.

Notes for my Indonesian fellows, here is the procedure to get the documents apostilled: legalized by the notary >> Ministry of Law and Human Rights (Kemenkumham) >> Ministry of Foreign Affairs (Kemenlu) >> (Korean) Embassy.

If applying via the Korean Embassy, one original/certified copy document, one official notarized translation, and three photocopied documents have to be prepared. Apparently, some Korean Embassies, including the Korean Embassy in Indonesia, may apply different regulations. Korean Embassy in Indonesia requires the applicants to send only one copy of the original document and the copies will be made by the Embassy.

The next part of the application forms is the applicant’s personal information, which is considerably easy to be filled in. As for the applicant’s name, some who do not have a separate family name may find it confusing at first, like in most cases of Indonesians. In such cases, simply write the same as your passport name: first name and middle name (if any) as the given name and last name as surname. For the university and major choices for graduate degrees, some confusions come from the differences between Division, Department, and Major. The best way to solve this is by referring to the University Information file, on the list of majors offered. As for the grades/GPA, use the CGPA conversion table on the guideline to convert various grading systems. If the CGPA conversion table does not apply for the grading system of the applicant’s school, the information on how to do the conversion should be attached.

Applicant’s Personal Information (above: Undergraduate; below: Graduate)

For awards and published papers, I believe there is no limit number but I personally mentioned the best two. You may want to mention the rest, if they are quite significant for you, in the Personal Statement. For published papers written in language other than Korean or English, the original title and other details (e.g., journal name) can be mentioned first, followed by the English title in parentheses.

The next forms to be filled are Personal Statement and Statement of Purpose/Study Plan. Instructions have been provided clearly on each part, so I believe it comes back to the applicant’s writing ability to come up with the best way of storytelling which hopefully will impress the reviewers. I have made a post for some tips to write Personal Statement and Statement of Purpose/Study Plan based on my experience.

Recommendation letters are another important required document for KGSP/GKS applications. An applicant should receive two recommendation letters from two recommenders. The letter template has been prepared in the application, but the recommenders may attach their own template. Just make sure that they understand what points should be included and that everything should be written in either Korean or English. This letter is confidential, so you may want to clarify beforehand as to who will translate the document if your recommender writes it in other languages.

The last is self-medical assessment/personal medical assessment which is a brief medical history of the applicant. It can be filled in independently by the applicant without going to the hospital or any healthcare center and should be filled in all honesty because you shouldn’t let any wrong information stated in the application forms get in your way in the later selection process of the medical check-up where pretty much everything will be revealed.

---

That is the end of the KGSP/GKS application forms. This is crazily long I know, but I hope you will somehow find this post helpful. 

This post has been updated following the 2021 Application Guidelines. Please do let me know if you find incorrect information that I stated here. And I strongly encourage all applicants to read the guidelines by heart as it has much more detailed information.

[hecohansen31]

Please could you write some Chet Clancy x male reader where Chet has had feelings for the reader ever since they met and they have gotten stronger at camp redwood, by the finale Chet sees reader covered in margerets blood after they took revenge and Chet couldn’t help but confront reader about his feelings for him not expecting reader to feel the same way so basically Chet fucks reader back in his cabin ❤️ PLEASE MALE READER IM THIRSTY FOR THAT MAN

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

Am I going to deny that the thirst for that babe isn’t true? Because it is not, I love Chet more than my life, don’t mind me... my anger issues boys...

Also big disclaimer: I am not... very good at writing male!reader and it is my first time doing this kind of thing, so if it sucks... I am sorry, I didn’t mean to, I hope I didn’t fetishize it or made it ridicolous, in case... let me know! And I’ll try to see what I can do about it!

As always any feedback is welcomed!

And sorry again for taking quite some time!

WARNINGS: Male/Male Relationship And Sex (Oral Sex, Male Receiving), Unprotected Sex (WRAP IT UP, CHILDREN, WE ARE NOT GOING TO SLEEP ONTO STDs), Mention of Homophobia and Biphobia, Fanatic Bitch! Margaret, Blood and Murder.

Chet didn’t swing that way.

He swung both way, more precisely.

But his manager had told him that it wouldn’t be good publicity for his Olympic career, to admit us preference for both genders, hence the need for the stereoyds and the constant “I a manly man attitude”.

But he wasn’t able to keep it up anymore, when you walked in the jazzercise class, in tight short and a smile that could have brightened the room, and although he had tried desperately to keep his mind on Brooke, smirking at her as he thrusted his hips to the ground, he was looking at you with his sideye.

Jazzercise wasn’t certainly your thing, he thought as you constantly needed Xavier’s guidance, enough that he wondered whether you were just acting up to get the blonde man’s attention or whether you were just THAT bad.

He hoped it wasn’t the first option.

In the locker room, he caught a glimpse of your naked body, meanwhile he made some humor of your two left feet, and Ray joined in, joking and letting Chet know your name, since apparently you knew Ray because you worked together,

“He is a vet, I had to see him a few times, because we have an animal shelter near” Ray had explained to their common friend, meanwhile you blushed adorably, appearing meek, and Chet definitely had to hide with a towel the evidence of how much he liked that shyness.

“I am still not a vet, I am learning to become one. I am nothing but a simple intern, running for coffe and photocopies!” you joked, meanwhile Chet simply blushed as you caught him looking over at him, meanwhile you moved out of the locker room to grab a coffee.

There you found Xavier waiting for you, and he proposed to you to go out with them at Redwood.

“Oh I am going to have to ask around since I might be working, but a vacation doesn’t sound so bad” you mumbled almost dreamily, gently rubbing your neck, as Montana and Brooke joined you.

You fell a bit behind in the conversation, gingerly joining whenever you were spoken to, but otherwise, just standing a bit outside, probably due to some shyness that you owned.

Which Chet found even more fascinating.

As you moved outside, he followed you, more to check on you, since the Night Stalker’s story that Xavier had told to all of you, had made him quite paranoid.

...and because he was hoping to have a few minutes alone with you, although he knew he shouldn’t let himself have some kind of interest for you.

He had already fucked up his chance for the Olympics, he wouldn’t have another chance and an unconventional relationship might fuck things up, even more for you.

But you honestly had caught quite his eye, and there would be nothing bad in trying to be “your friend”.

“Hey” he almost startled “Don’t want to sound like a creep, but it would be nice to have a doctor on our vacation”.

You smirked at his attempt, and he was smitten.

Shit, he was more neck-deep than he thought.

“... just wanted to make sure that you weren’t already scared with those crazed people” he had joked.

“Ah, no they were rather nice, I truly hope to see more of you” you had replied, scratching the back of his neck, before exiting the car keys and got in your car, waving at Chet.

Well, he was also looking foward to seeing you.

In the end you had joined them on their trip to Camp Redwood, and although you stood close to Ray, the only person you knew, Chet had had many chances to talk comfortably with you, mostly while he passed you a joint.

There he had discovered that you had a younger sister and your mother had raised you on her own.

‘She is the one who pushed me into this field, alongside always wanting to see me settled down...’ the way you talked about it seemed like you didn’t think about that, in the slightest “... you know the white-picket fence with the nice wife and the two children... but sadly, I am just not interested in that’.

‘You don’t seem like you are not cute enough to get girls’ commented Brooke, almost naively and you started laughing a bit, before you sent her a look, making her blush and uttered:

‘Sweetie, I know, but I don’t look for girls’.

And in that moment Chet’s heart had started beating faster, and he had decided that he would have gladly thrown anything away for just a night with you.

Which might happen earlier than he thought, since you had shared not only a joint, but also a few rather steamy glances and when you had been sent off to shower, he almost thought about taking a bit too long to ‘help you’, in the shower.

But as you were getting ready to approach the shower, you seemed to remember having forgotten the clothes in which you had to change, a shy smile on your face, clearly showing that you were more introvert than you had looked talking before, mostly self-conscious about your body.

And ended up wandering off, alongside Xavier, in search for his luxurious towels and soaps, meanwhile Chet just sent a last look at your beautiful backside, definitely wishing that he could have seen it naked.

———

You couldn’t help but chicken out at the last minute, although you had felt Chet’s eyes on you all night, and honestly it was indeed flattering to have his attention, but you had also seen the obvious way he had tried to show off with Brooke.

And you didn’t understand if he had just a wandering eye, or was trying to cover up his attraction.

In both cases, you felt like being a bit on your own would help you, both to see if Chet’s feelings were true and both for you to understand if you wanted to risk an heartbreak, because the people like Chet were the kind that didn’t leave you without taking something.

You were thinking this, when you heard a strange noise and suddenly found yourself wondering if you shouldn’t have gone this far alone, mostly after the entire legend about Mr Jingle.

‘He is locked up, (Y/N)’ you mumbled to yourself, to reassure your beating heart ‘It is probably just a squirrel’.

It wasn’t a squirrel but Margaret, as she moved across you in the little wood you had to come through before you reached the cabins.

You immediately felt relieved and tried to make small talk with the camp director, who smirked at you with something evil in her eyes, but you didn’t give it too much thought, trying to calm any bad feeling in your guts with talking.

“I know what you truly are” she mumbled, meanwhile you were discussing with her the best way to handle an emergency in the lake.

“Of course you do, Mrs Booth, you hired me!” you tried to make some kind of fun of the entire situation, but there was no use.

The evilness in her eyes strangely kept on shining.

“... oh no, I know your dirty little secret, disbeliever” she continue, mumbling almost fanatically and you just felt a thrill run down your body “... and I won’t let you taint those sweet angels’ innocence”.

And before you knew it, a knife was sticking out your guts, blood erupting in it, fast enough that you knew she had hit a major artery, and meanwhile you blacked out, from the loss of blood, you just saw her move closer and before you knew it a stabbing pain caught you behind your ear.

And then you blacked out.

———

You woke up in what the others had called Purgatory, although to you it seemed more some kind limbo, where you were wandering through the place, meeting some of your fellow campers, with the knowledge of missing something.

Something which was your life.

And then it had come the anger, the insatiable anger, alongside the fear and the regret: fear because you didn’t know what would happen in this world, whether it was just simple passage or you were anchored there, and regret for anything that you hadn’t been able to do.

You missed your mother and your sister.

And hated throughly Margaret.

Mr. Jingle, that day, had been brought in the camp and although you didn’t despise him, you could see why so many didn’t have sympathy for the bastard, but when he brought you the news not only that Margaret was coming back, but she had also shifted her blame onto somebody’s else, you were pissed.

You were unable to resist fighting with Montana who didn’t seem to understand that killing Margaret was something that you needed, mostly to finally get your revenge and justice, since authorities didn’t seem to care about such things.

‘You don’t understand shit, (Y/N)’ had mumbled Montana.

‘Oh because your idea to kill everybody who comes here is so smart!’ you had shot back, before you had scurried off, since you knew that she wouldn’t listen to you, at all.

But you weren’t the only one who run away, Chet followed you.

Since your deaths, you had been strangely linked, but neither of you had done the first move, almost as if you had to work through your own traumas, before you could even think to ask each out.

Could you ask another ghost out...

‘You know that Montana doesn’t mean to be so harsh’ he mumbled, making you sigh dramatically ‘... she is a crazy bitch but she has an heart’.

‘Yeah... but I can’t believe that I have to share this place I am locked in, with the person who blocked me here” you honestly didn’t want to cry, mostly because of all the toxic masculinity, mostly in front of Chet, which was its emblem, but he gently brought an hand of yours to his mouth, softly leaving a few kisses on the back, before he patted one of your cheeks, sweetly bringing you closer.

But instead of kissing you, as you had hoped, he started talking.

‘I know how you are feeling: I was also killed by Margaret, and she took away my chance to try again at life, so believe me she won’t exit here alive, I swear on whatever ghostly think you can think of’.

‘Trevor’s elephant trunk’ you giggled, making him roll your eyes at your silliness before he gently leaned closer and exactly as you were so so close to kissing, something got in the way: Ray.

‘Dudes, Xavier just disappeared and with him Mr. Jingles, I need you two to check on him with me!’.

You both huffed, but smirked, your hands remaining linked.

‘To be continued?’.

‘It depends... are you ready for what is coming, sweetheart?’.

‘Talking this highly of you won’t get you anywhere, sweetheart’.

———

The entire event of Margaret’s death had been a true plan, not to talk about the way it had been executed almost perfectly, but although you should have felt satisfied, you couldn’t help but feel even more confused, and most importantly, slightly aroused, with the way Chet looked drenched in Margaret’s blood.

And only when he smirked at you, you understood it was over.

And you wouldn’t waste another moment of your time.

And Chet understood, quickly moving away from the others, meanwhile you did the same, the others not even noticing you leaving, too busy partying the death of the witch.

Well you would also be soon having your own party.

Chet smashed you against the wall of the cabin as soon as you were alone and he finally kissed you, making you definitely trust in what he had muttered to you that evening.

But you were definitely more than ready for it.

“Fuck, I have wished to do that, since I saw you at the class” he smirked, before the made you lightly twirl, eyeing with definitely a smug smirk your ass, before he slapped it, making you trot forward the male cabins.

“I looked like an idiot, so something is absolutely wrong with you” you mumbled, gently bringing him for a shy kiss, gently relaxing under him, meanwhile he smirked softly.

“... well... I do think that something is definitely up with me” and he pushed himself against you, making you feel his hardness onto you, and you smirked, rushing to kiss him with a new sense of urgency, meanwhile you moved, not detaching yourself from each other, in the cabin.

And when you were inside, Chet took an extra-moment to lock properly the door, not wanting any interruption as it had happened before.

“You know that you are locking outside Xavier and Ray” you mumbled, meanwhile your hands went down Chet’s chest, effectively taking away his ability to focus on anything, except your wandering hands.

“... well they are ghosts they won’t certainly feel cold...” he mumbled, sighing in pleasure when your hand came at his crotch “... and I saw Xavier eyeing chef Bertie, so I am sure that he’ll also have someone who will keep him warm”.

You eyed him, giggling lightly and slipped your hand in his pants and boxers, finally reaching the emblem of his desire which stood hard and throbbing in your palm, surprising you for the measures.

Well, you definitely weren’t ready for that.

And Chet smirked cockily, but you didn’t let him do much more, starting to rub your palm against him, before you started a determinate rhythm, bringing him in a state where he couldn’t focus on anything else but your able movements.

But it got worse, once you interrupted your ministrations just to lower his pants and boxers and pushed yourself on your knees.

The entire sight of you, with you mouth open and wanting, your eyes glossy for the arousal, was enough that Chet felt a knot tighten in his stomach, but as your mouth touched his proud manhood...

In that moment he swore he wasn’t in Purgatory but in Heaven

You worked him expertly, not letting yourself be intimidated by his length and helped you with an hand where you couldn’t reach with your mouth gently, trying to stead your rhythm with Chet’s hips which buckled up, since he was trying desperately to ride his pleasure, till the last drop.

His hands went to your hair, trying to grip onto them, and then when he found his grip, he used it to guide you on and off his manhood, in an exciting rush that brought you breathless.

“Shit, I am going to come” he mumbled, although you felt it by the way his balls had tightened and the throbbing vein on his head, and he released his grip so that you could back off a bit.

But you weren’t in the slight a quitter, bringing him to the edge and allowing his seed in your mouth, swallowing what you could and letting anything else flow from your mouth.

Chet was breathless for enough that you were almost worried of having killed him again, before he brought you back from your knees, in a fury, smashing your lips together and tasting himself and mixing his saliva with his seed, in a rather erotical flavor, that got you addicted.

“I have had enough of games” he growled and pushed you against the nearest wall, his hands going down to tease your front, meanwhile another hand slipped down your back in a languid caress which was soon joined by his lips, till he managed to drag down alongside his hands, your pants.

He left the boxers on, teasing you over the fabric, till your manhood peaked through them, and turning around, he teased you even further brushing his naked length against yours and making a rather loud moan exit your mouth, meanwhile he smirked, teasing your now-exposed neck.

“... fucking so responsive, just how I like it” he mumbled, meanwhile his hands lowered themselves in your boxers, getting you out of them, before he kissed you one last time, taking much more time to relax and make you feel at ease with him, which succeded since your felt your legs like jelly.

“Chet... I need you to...” you tried to utter, wanting him so desperately “... fucking want you to...”.

“... fuck me?” he smirked, smug about this, before his hands moved from your crotch to your little hold, teasing it “... aren’t you cute, baby boy?”.

“Stop teasing me, or is it to overcompensate?”.

And before you knew it, you were pushed again against the wall, his fingers prodding your hole, and although you were expecting him not to take his time, he did, sneaking to the little place where condoms and lube had been hidden, since your first day, not wanting Margaret to interrupt your fun.

Once he had retrieved the lube, he started the slow preparation, teasing you further, almost as a punishment for speaking back at him, easing one finger in you, just to crook it in a slow way that surprised you.

But you were too drunk on pleasure to actually protest.

And then Chet teased and probed your entrance with his length, your hole dripping with lube and gaping, ready for him, and then after he kissed softly your shoulder he slipped in, letting you adjust.

You gripped tight whatever was in front of you, as he pushed slightly a bit more, praising him for taking what he gave you so well.

And you shout back, praising how well he was filling you, setting off some kind of crazy rhythm which got Chet to slam in you, with almost violence, but the entire thing just pushed more adrenaline and pleasure through you, setting you in a crazy ride towards the end of this.

But whenever you were close, Chet would seem to know it, by the way you squeezed him, from the inside, and would slow down, in a drunken rhythm that brought to feel every inch of him.

Still the was a torture even for him, and he wasn’t able to last for longer than you, and soon he gave you his best in an even harsher rhythm, making his balls smash against your ass in a slap that stimulated you further through the final step of your little “marathon”.

You came with Chet’s name on your lips, mumbling softly about how he made you feel good, meanwhile he sank is teeth deep down your neck, to keep a moan from leaving his body, alongside his own soul, with the way you squeezed his length so heavenly.

He exited you, making his seed flow through your hole, exiting you in a wet motion that stained your thighs and Chet gently lowered himself to lick it clean, although you couldn’t help but feel overstimulated by the brushing of his tongue on such a sensible part.

“You fucking taste like Heaven, babe” he smirked, meanwhile he licked a ling strip from your inner thighs to the base of your own length “I don’t think that I’ll let anything take you away from me, again”.

[white-collar-lawmen-and-conmen]

Bite (Part Two)

Summary: Peter’s team is invited onto a big case in which their involvement will have serious consequences. (Part 2/3)

Word Count: 6,323

Warning: Brief mention of hard drugs and their abuse.

           “Stupid me,” you grumbled, grabbing your bottles of sparkling cider and shoving them back into your bottom left desk drawer. “I should never get cocky.” The glimmering, golden, spiralized ribbons wrapped around their necks felt like they were particularly insulting. It took a lot of self-control not to grab your scissors and snip them off for the trash.

           You’d been so excited for the case to end. So, so excited for the case to finally be over and things in the office to go back to normal, and for you to finally have that talk you and Neal decided to put off for “later”. Now you had share-size bottles of cider and a big case of plastic cups in your desk and no reason to share it and get it out.

           “Y/N,” Diana said, watching you move with terse movements. “It could’ve gone so much worse.”

           You knew that. Damn it, you knew that, you did, but you still didn’t feel much better. Neal was still alive, but your victory was taken away. Instead of being held accountable for his actions, Brady got to just take a permanent escape. There was no retribution, there was no restitution. No justice for the man he murdered or for any of the poor victims who made the mistake of trusting him. You put all your energy, all your time into this freaking case and now it was all for nothing because the coward preferred to die than go to prison, and had threatened to kill in order to force Peter to honor his wish.

           Diana spoke again, trying to get your attention. “Neal could be hurt a lot worse.”

           “Yeah, Di, I know he could’ve been,” you said through gritted teeth. “I still wish that ass were still here so I could kick him in the goddamn face for putting a knife to my friend’s throat.”

~~~ Bite ~~~

           Brady tried to arrange a meeting as soon as possible, but Neal, playing his enthusiasm down to be sure not to jump too high, managed to delay the second rendezvous to Wednesday afternoon. According to the artist, the embezzler wasn’t happy with waiting but had more decorum than to insist that a man not even in his employ drop everything when called, and this gave you time to implement the operation you had spent the last week preparing for.

           Peter had a thorough game plan. Neal as going to be wearing a wire fully concealed by his clothes, and the techs knew to thread the microphone so that it was covered by his tie in case he was patted down. Stealth aside, Peter, Madeline, and Ruiz were all confederates in Brady’s company suite, Damien had the back exits and fire escape covered, Matt and Diana were in the lobby looking busy, and you and Jones were in the van, coordinating all teams.

           You had executed plenty of highly successful operations before with less manpower, but this one somehow went so wrong that you weren’t even sure how. Neal went in without even acknowledging your confederates, and he arrived separately from your unmarked vehicles. There was nothing linking him to the bureau. Brady received him with the smarmiest facsimile of hospitality you’d ever heard and invited him into his office.

           The first five minutes were tense for all of you. You, especially, were feeling particularly wound up. Fidgeting your knee made Jones give you a look, but not being able to do anything was one of the worst assignments you could have possibly gotten. Neal made friendly with Brady, and Brady brought up how there was a fed questioning his practices. Peter made a petty comment which somehow helped to relax your nerves, and Brady hypothetically asked Neal what experience he might have with nosy feds.

           After that, it went quiet. To occupy yourself, you imagined what expressions Neal might be making, what gestures, what body language he was using to say-without-saying that the feds weren’t as smart as he was.

           The quietness lasted too long. Twenty seconds. Thirty.

           “Is anyone else hearing anything?” Matt asked with his voice low, calm but concerned.

           You turned on the switch allowing for you and Jones to talk over the communicators. “Our bugs aren’t the problem,” you answered to everyone, glad that someone else was the one to ask. Even after you responded, there was still no noise from Neal, or anyone in the office with him. “Damien?”

           “Here,” Ruiz’s agent reported.

           You frowned nervously. Something was off. “Neal, if you can hear, cough.”

           There was still nothing – not just the absence of a cough, but the absence of any audio at all. It sounded louder than anything before it had, like white noise. With the rest of the earpieces fully functional, that made it clear something was very wrong.

           “Peter, how far are you from the office?” Jones asked, standing up as you did the same and getting his sidearm from the collapsible table.

           No answer came, even when Jones tried again, this time asking for Ruiz, and then for Madeline. Diana answered when prompted, but none of the wires in Brady’s suite were responding.

~~~ Bite ~~~

           CSI found a signal jammer in one of Brady’s desk drawers after the body had been taken away, which explained why you had lost contact with your team. As soon as your team leaders realized that they couldn’t contact Neal or any of their backup, they stormed the office.

           You got the chance to read Peter’s statement. He had moved impulsively, rashly, before Ruiz had made the same call. He was the first to enter, and he had kicked the door in to do so. Neal had been put down on his knees with a bloody lip, and the embezzler had held a sharp hunting knife to Neal’s throat. Neal was begging him not to do it. Your heart clenched when you read and it almost made you put the paper down, but it had gone so far sideways that you needed to know in case you were facing a review. Once Brady saw Peter’s gun and knew that he wasn’t leaving, he raised the knife and charged the agent. Peter had to shoot him twice before he fell, and he was dead before Ruiz got into the room.

           Neal was able to report later that he had been made since before he even entered the building. It wasn’t a problem with the specific operation – it was that Seamus Brady had known exactly what Neal and Peter were up to, and he had turned the tables, using the con to lure Neal into an ambush. Ruiz went on what you would call a rampage and if Peter hadn’t been busy making sure that Neal was okay, and stunned by the blood on his own hands, you were sure he would’ve been laying into everyone, too. There had to be a leak somewhere in the bureau, either in the WCCD or in Organized Crime. Hughes heard the case, heard Neal was sent to the hospital and Peter had been forced to fire, and ordered everyone off. Ruiz’s division chief did the same, and the two together disbanded the Brady task force.

           Neal went to the hospital to be checked out and was released within a few hours. Peter drove him home and then went back to Brooklyn, where he called in on Thursday and claimed to be sick. No one bought it, but no one bought him on it, either. Peter hadn’t done anything wrong, but the cost of protecting himself was staggering, and in your division you rarely, if ever, had such an event occur. No one could blame the man for wanting to stay home with Elizabeth for a day or two. Similarly, Hughes called Neal and said that he didn’t need to come in on Thursday, and on Friday morning, Neal called in sick, as well.

           A brass from over Hughes’ head came and questioned Peter’s team that Friday. You, Diana, and Jones put your heads together so you could give as clear a picture as you could, but you had missed so much that all you could really offer was a photocopy of the statement Peter wrote and a promise to forward one of Neal’s once the conman issued his own. You went to Organized Crime for just a couple of minutes, saw Madeline at her desk, and compared notes. The same steps were being taken in their division as in yours, but they had even less to offer because Ruiz had been behind.

           Peter and Neal both returned to the office on Monday. Peter had rebounded, for the most part, but Neal looked like he had hardly slept. It didn’t help that OPR also came to the WCCD on Monday, opening an investigation into who tipped off Brady. Your brain knew that the vast majority of OPR agents were well-intentioned and following orders, but after everything that happened with Fowler, having them around made you feel like your office had a roach problem.

           The entire week passed in slow motion, and as it did, you watched Peter grow both stable and weary – stable as he accepted what he had been forced to do, and weary as he accepted that, yet again, he had to look over his shoulder for a traitor within the bureau. It was a heavy weight on all of you, but none of you felt it more than the Burke-Caffrey duo, and you wished you knew how you could help. While Peter at least recovered from the ambush itself, you saw Neal moving in the opposite direction. He pulled away from everyone, preferring quiet and solitude. He was willing to spend time with Peter during lunch breaks, and make small talk when prompted, but he didn’t act like the social butterfly he usually was and he didn’t return your friendly attempts at flirting.

           It hurt to watch him withdraw. You hadn’t seen him doing such a thing since Kate had died, but even this was on a completely different dimension. When the jet exploded, Neal emotionally withdrew but he wanted to seem like he was fine. He slapped on a veneer of happiness to hide the anger and devastation, and he used friendships to distract himself from how badly it hurt to be alone with his thoughts. This was different – he was physically present, but he wasn’t making any attempts at acting as he normally did.

           While waiting for the Brady case to make another move, you had started to complain to yourself that your “later” wasn’t going to ever come. Now, as he turned down offers to leave the building for lunch, failed to reciprocate any signs of interest, and rebuffed any attempts to have a conversation that didn’t strictly revolve around work, you were thinking that it really might not ever happen. Worse than thinking that the romantic potential might go unfilled was the hurt you felt at the threat of losing a good friend.

           The second week after Neal was ambushed, OPR left the WCCD in peace without any answers as to who betrayed the team, Peter was able to lower his figurative hackles, and Neal started to reengage – but, like with Kate, it was just a veneer. He started to banter with Peter and talk to you, but nothing went deeper than the surface and even though he acted like normal, happy, healthy Neal Caffrey, that was all it was. Acting.

           It wasn’t up to you to decide how quickly he needed to get over a near-death experience, and you knew that. You never thought you had the right to try. But, you did have the right to worry, as long as you didn’t shove it onto him, and so you worried to yourself while keeping your eyes on him. Unfortunate as it was, Neal was no stranger to near-death experiences. When you compared what happened during that case to what had almost happened in the past, you couldn’t understand why it would have shaken him up so much. Getting a bullet blocked by a Bible in front of his chest, having the air sucked out of a sealed room, almost boarding a doomed plane, being in an apartment with an assassin, confronting and being placed in a variety of nearly-fatal situations by Adler, and a number of other close calls hadn’t shaken him up for more than a couple days, so it mystified you how one sole creep with a knife had a more profound impact on Neal than losing Kate.

~~~ Bite ~~~

           After two weeks, you were done thinking about “later”. You would’ve happily taken what you had before it went down and been grateful to have the old Neal back. You laid in bed on Saturday night wondering who you would find when you went to work the next Monday. Would your friend be back at his desk, or was it going to be the shellshocked victim? If it were the latter, was he going to be ready to accept the support that you had already tried to offer?

           While thinking about him, you did come to an important epiphany. You figured out what made this near-death experience so much worse than the others: someone Neal trusted had been the one to cause it. Brady had held the knife and he was guilty of all of his actions, for sure, but he wouldn’t have lured out and tried to hurt Neal if it hadn’t been for someone in the FBI tipping him off to the operation. Neal had come to respect the individuals who worked in the division, and although he wasn’t going to try to move into the office, he felt comfortable and safe within its walls. That sense of safety had been ripped away, and he didn’t have the option of avoiding the space that now felt dangerous.

           You should’ve thought of it sooner. OPR had made your skin crawl, but you had been focusing your energy on the wrong thing. A leak in the office unsettled you, but you had a clean record, no gripes with anyone, and your neck wasn’t sticking out off a perilous ledge. You had no reason to fear the leak except for on the basis of principle. Neal, however, had a felony conviction, a long list of people who may want him hurt or dead on principle or for revenge, and was frequently enlisted as the WCCD’s personal piece of criminal bait.

           What would it feel like to not feel safe at work? To know there was a knife in your back and not know who put it there? If you were in his position, you thought that paranoia might be crippling. You also thought you’d have no choice but to rely emotionally on your friends, the ones you knew for certain would never harm you, not withdraw from them. Surely Neal knew some people that it wasn’t – Peter, whom he’d known in one capacity or another for going on a decade; Diana and Jones, for almost two years. Certainly, he knew you’d never try to get him killed. Maybe you didn’t have as long of a history as he had with Peter, but you had a history, nonetheless, and it was a good one. If anyone were going to rat him out, it would have to be someone from Ruiz’s side of the task force, or maybe someone who accessed the plans and files without actually being assigned to the team.

           Fear wasn’t rational, you knew that, and you knew Neal did, too. He was too clever about people not to know how powerful emotions could be. That didn’t mean it was a good thing for him to be socially isolating himself to any degree. Cases like this were when he should be keeping closer to his friends than ever. If he wasn’t sure about who those friends were, then you were just going to have to show him.

           You woke up early on Sunday morning and Googled a few minutes to find a breakfast restaurant in Neal’s radius that looked particularly delicious, and then you made the trip to the west side of Manhattan as the sun was still rising. You couldn’t keep waiting for him to get better and pretending to be fooled by the way he acted like he was fine at work. He was your friend, damn it, and friends took friends out for breakfast and made them talk when they were distressed. Neal had had more than two weeks to come around on his own. Time to give him a gentle push. If he were reticent, then you’d just have to push a little harder and prove you’d catch him. Like an emotional trust fall.

           It was a little after seven when you got to June’s. You weren’t trying to blitz attack Neal, but you did want to get to him before he left the house on his own plans. One of June’s cars was gone, so you pulled into the driveway, knowing you wouldn’t be here long. You parked and turned off your car, then double-checked that nothing valuable was left visible from the windows before unbuckling your seatbelt.

           Before you got out of the car, you looked up to June’s house to admire the old building and saw motion on the porch. For just a heartbeat you thought Neal might have seen you pulling in and came out to meet you, but then you realized the person coming out had long hair and was wearing a shimmering black dress. To each his own, but they were five foot six, tops.

           You stayed put to assess. It felt uncomfortably like spying and the agent in you was uncomfortably okay with that. The person turned around and you didn’t recognize her face. Her hair was a little snarled and her dress had some oddly-placed wrinkles. You spent a lot of time at the office, but not so much that you didn’t know what a walk of shame looked like.

           “Maybe I should have texted ahead,” you said to your empty passenger seat, somewhat amused. It looked like Neal had a way of coping, after all.

           She walked off the porch and went to the street, looking down at her hands. You were trying to avoid the awkwardness of being seen, so you pressed yourself back against your seat and watched her through the side mirror when she came into view. The lady didn’t even look at your car, instead moving her fingers on her phone.

           “Wait,” you said softly, narrowing your eyes to look closer. She wasn’t holding a phone, the motions of her fingers weren’t right.

           Since she wasn’t even looking, you shifted around up onto one knee to look directly out the rear window. She got to the sidewalk from the driveway and started going east, towards Broadway, and as she turned to follow the street you got a better look at what she was holding. It was a wad of cash, and she was counting the bills.

           You turned back around and dropped into your seat, narrowly avoiding giving your thigh a hard knock on the steering wheel.

           A woman leaving Neal’s address, as June isn’t home, while in last night’s clothes and counting bills.

           You felt breathless. What were you supposed to say, to yourself or to Neal, about what you had seen? Breakfast was off the table. You pulled your seatbelt back over yourself and started the car, leaving him none the wiser to your visit, so you could have time to think.

~~~ Bite ~~~

           You stalled on talking to Neal for days. There were four very long days, almost an entire business week, where you wracked your brain trying to come up with another explanation for what he was doing. Neal freaking Caffrey hooking up with an… escort? There was no way, absolutely no way. Okay, so you supposed it made sense that if he needed something to lift his spirits, sex worked for most everyone. But even if you assumed that his looks and intellect and charm had suddenly become completely useless in the world of romance and sex (and you were one hundred percent sure that wasn’t the case), there was no way he was stupid enough to risk everything he had just to get laid. Victimless or not, solicitation of a prostitute was breaking the law and if anyone found out, Neal would go straight back to prison.

           So you just kept telling yourself that it wasn’t what it had looked like. You kept telling yourself that you misread the situation, that there was some important piece of context you just weren’t aware of, and you kept trying to think of what it might be. Because you were trying so hard to convince yourself of that other piece’s existence, you resisted the urge to conclude he was seeing a prostitute – because if you came to that conclusion, you were legally obligated to report it. And if you reported it, and Neal couldn’t factually disprove it, then your friend was going back to prison for a crime that you didn’t personally believe should be a crime in the first place.

           The problem was that it had been four days, and you couldn’t think of anything to explain why Neal had seen a woman out early in the morning with a going-away gift of cash. If it wasn’t solicitation, then it had to be something worse – conspiracy for a white-collar crime, maybe, or worse, drugs. Drugs would explain why she looked unkept.

           The conspiracy option seemed like the most likely bet, but Neal of all people knew how thin his ice was, and he wasn’t going to start tap dancing on it by relying on strangers not to narc. He had a small circle of people whom he trusted. You were reasonably confident that you’d met everyone on the list, and the woman whom you’d seen leaving wasn’t one of them. Plus, since Alex, you were pretty sure Neal learned to stop mixing business with pleasure, so it wouldn’t account for why she had stayed the night.

           Drugs only occurred to you on Wednesday, and you’d nixed it by lunchtime. You wouldn’t put it past Neal to have experimented once or twice with some less intense stuff, but you’d known him too long not to know if he had a particular vice, and he didn’t. Sometimes he smoked when he was stressed, but that was it. You carefully tried to see if there were any signs of a new habit, but Neal looked healthy, his mind was sharp, his hands were steady, and there was no discoloration anywhere on him. Addicts were good at hiding addictions, but it hadn’t been long enough for Neal to get that far down the rabbit hole, so you took comfort in knowing that he wasn’t slowly poisoning himself.

           Without those options on the table, though, there was no alternative to a prostitute. One part of you wanted to just let it go and pretend you hadn’t seen anything. It wasn’t like you’d seen them screwing so it wasn’t shirking responsibility to fail to report – you didn’t know for sure anything illegal had happened. When the worse alternatives included heroin, you were tempted to just be relieved that the most likely reality was consenting adult activity. The other part of you was just so… disappointed. You knew how clever he was. Of all the things to risk his parole over, this was what he chose?

           Being a pushover wasn’t a quality for any good agent to have. Avoiding conflicts wasn’t exactly what you were known for – you liked to handle things as they came up, rather than letting them fester. Now, though, you felt like such a wimp, cowering from a conversation you needed to have just because you were afraid of how it might go. Even that unpleasant feeling of knowing you were letting yourself down didn’t motivate you into gathering your wits and putting your foot down – it was what happened at lunch.

           You went in to get your salad from the fridge and happened to cross paths with Peter and Neal, who were already in the kitchen brewing themselves more coffee. You said a pleasant greeting to them both, putting aside the lurching feeling in your stomach when you saw Neal smile at you. He still didn’t know you’d seen anything. He didn’t know you’d spent the week trying to decide how to respond.

           “What’s good?” You asked, opening up the fridge and taking out your meal.

           “Not the coffee,” Neal quipped, earning himself a side-eye from Peter. “What about with you? You’ve seemed a little intense this week. Good case?”

           Heh, I wish. So he had noticed there was something wrong. Well, so had you – he was convincing but you weren’t fooled by his back-to-normal demeanor. “Not good as in interesting,” you said, going along with what he thought. The middle of the bureau wasn’t the place to ask Neal what the hell he was thinking, and any time when another agent was around was the wrong time. “But particularly challenging, and I think I’m close.”

           “That’s a good feeling,” Peter commented, smiling slightly. He’d always had a good work ethic. It made you happy to work under him and you felt a little bit guilty for lying. “Just don’t forget to take time for yourself.”

           “I may not be married, but I still have my own life,” you teased him. It was well-known that your boss was a workaholic. Were it not for his wife, he’d spend even more time in the office. “I might even make weekend plans.”

           You stuck your thermos in the microwave as Peter chuckled and Neal gasped in overdramatic surprise. It made you smile at the appliances. Being so tense for the last week, and worrying about Neal for the last several, had almost made you forget how much you liked your work environment and your friends.

           “Weekend plans doing what?” Neal asked, his grin just big enough to show a little flash of his front teeth.

           Your weekends were never very exciting, but at least you were able to quickly think of something that rhymed with your streaming service. “Hulu and Cthulhu,” you said smartly as the microwave dinged.

           Neal laughed. “Very cultured, Agent Y/L/N.”

           “You know it.” You clicked your tongue at him with a wink. “What about yours?”

           “Ah, I might have a friend over,” he answered smoothly, and you raised your eyebrows, wary that he was referring to a paid friend and not a real one.

           “Mozzie?” Peter guessed.

           “Sh,” Neal rebuked, glancing meaningfully between Peter and the doorway. “The walls have ears.”

           “He’s literally been here,” the investigator grumbled, forever exasperated by Haversham’s paranoid distrust of every government official in the world.

           The microwave dinged and you took your thermos out and picked up a plastic spork. “Yes, and now I bet he has PTSD,” you joked.

           “And I’m the one who has to hear all about it,” Neal complained. His tone wasn’t giving much away – he could have been either joking with you or completely serious, and somehow not knowing made it a little funnier. You were never sure what to make of Mozzie, so the ambiguity was suited to him. “Good luck on your case.”

           “And on yours, guys,” you replied as you took your lunch and went back out into the bullpen, heading for your desk to work through your break.

           It was only a couple of minutes after you sat down again that you realized Neal had deflected the question of who his friend actually was. Maybe he was just taking it for granted that you and Peter knew it was Mozzie after he hadn’t said no, but part of you just said it wasn’t that simple. The principle of Occam’s razor rarely applied to Neal – which was just unfortunate, because your life would be so much easier if it did. You needed to talk to him before he had the chance to repeat whatever he had done last weekend, because if you didn’t, then he might make a huge mistake.

~~~ Bite ~~~

           Your time to talk to him came towards the end of the day, and you didn’t even have to make up a good excuse to get him out of the building alone. Peter came by your desk an hour before the workday usually ended, almost blushing and quickly hurrying to explain how it was his turn to pick up the dog from the groomer’s and he had to hurry or the groomer would call El and then his wife would find out that he forgot a shared domestic responsibility again. Okay, so he didn’t say anything past his wife being called, but you weren’t exactly new to the office. You knew how it worked.

           Anyway, you said you’d let Hughes know where he was if you were asked, and that you could give Neal a ride back to Riverside. If he didn’t have the tracking anklet, he could take public transportation, but public transit never ended up going straight to his apartment, and it was almost an eight mile walk, and since federal plaza was already out of his radius, letting him go home alone made the U.S. Marshals all skittish. It was easier to just carpool with everyone’s favorite ex-con in the passenger seat.

           Neal was usually a very animated passenger, but like his demeanor at work, he was more subdued in the car than he used to be, and another pang hit you in the chest as you wondered if he behaved like this in Peter’s car, too. You wanted so badly to believe he wasn’t just choosing to shut you out, specifically.

           “I have satellite,” you said casually while waiting at a traffic light. You felt like your heart was pounding, and between that and the emotional chest ache, you almost felt like a trip to the ER should be in order. “I decided to start paying. Better music, less commercials.”

           Neal shrugged. “It’s just a few more minutes.” Except in rush hour traffic, it was actually closer to fifteen. In spite of his lacking enthusiasm, he took the hint after a few seconds and reached for the stereo controls, turning the satellite stations on and flipping between a few until he could something that wasn’t pop, rock, or rap.

           The music made the ride less awkward and you kicked yourself for it in hindsight. At least when the silence had seemed loud, it would’ve been easier to break it with words instead of radio. June’s address drew closer and as it did, you had the sinking feeling that you weren’t going to have the courage to say anything, no matter how serious you knew the situation was.

           Too many feelings.

           “Can I come inside?” You asked, apparently out of the blue, glancing across the car at him. Neal’s eyebrows were up and his lips slightly parted when he looked back from the window, surprised as you’d ever seen him. “We don’t talk much anymore,” you lied with a little shrug. “Haven’t had much time for it, I guess. But we could do coffee.”

           Neal took a second to respond, and you were sure that he was going to politely reject you. Instead, his expression became a little more open as he considered and dropped a hand onto his knee. “Yeah, that sounds nice,” he agreed, and then looked back out the window.

           After that, it became less painfully uncomfortable, at least on your end. Invitation secured, you stopped worrying. You were going into his home – backing out wasn’t an option. What was an option was doing what you could to try taking care of your friend, and hopefully that would include setting him on a better direction and figuring out what the hell had happened in Brady’s loft. You even felt hopeful that in a couple of weeks’ time, things would be back to normal and your friendship would rebound like none of this had ever happened.

           You made it to Riverside and fortunately found curbside parking. June had a driveway, which was a luxury for a Manhattan residence, but she also had two cars already in it and you hated feeling like you were blocking anyone in. Neal reiterated the welcome for you to come inside and you went in with him, looking around June’s first floor with curiosity before following the artist up to his rented space. It looked cleaner than it usually did… not that Neal was a slob – far from it, in fact – but the penthouse looked a little less homey than usual and it was extra concerning.

           You took your shoes and coat off by the door after Neal hung his jacket on the coat rack. “Italian or Ethiopian?” He asked, striding into the small kitchen and opening up the cupboards to the left of the fridge.

           “Ethiopian,” you replied and watched him take a name-brand bag of coffee grounds off of the shelf. You’d never had it before but Neal had good taste.

           While he brewed coffee, you took a quick look through the parlor section of the open-floor plan, seeing the records and books that he had opted to keep accessible. Neal’s tastes in music were in line with what you would have expected. He liked instruments, and when it came to singing, he liked classics. His reading interests were more eclectic, but that, you supposed, was part of how he kept his skills up. Neal was very proud of his excellence in art, but he also went out of his way to be a sort of jack of all trades so that he could connect with a mark on some level, no matter what it was they were into.

           Once you couldn’t hear the coffeemaker running anymore, you treaded to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair to sit. Neal brought two mugs over a moment later. “It’s how you like it,” he remarked, setting one in front of you and sitting only a couple of feet away with his.

           A real smile came to your face. “You remember.”

           “Of course I remember,” he said, giving you an almost playful look like you should know better. “I never forget a coffee order.”

           “I thought it was names you never forget.”

           “I never forget either,” he replied without missing a beat, smiling slightly over the edge of his mug.

           “Silly me,” you commented. The roast tasted almost like a heavy tea, but it was good. You put it down on the table, then reached for your belt and took your badge off. You put it facedown next to your coffee and Neal’s attention was rapt.

           “Is there unofficial business I should know about?” He asked. His tone and words were light, but you could see a very subtle change in his face that you would have completely missed if you hadn’t been watching for it.

           “I don’t want you in trouble and I’m not gonna start any,” you responded, tilting your head. Neal had taught you that a lot of crime was actually in shades of grey, and after Peter had begun to loosen up, you started thinking that maybe there was really something to the lessons Neal occasionally espoused. One of them was that sometimes the ends justified the means, as long as the means fit within a moral framework that prioritized human wellbeing. “I saw something on Sunday. I came to pick you up for breakfast and there was a woman leaving. She had cash.”

           Neal put his mug down and reached for his face. Slowly, he rubbed his hands over his eyes, and then his cheeks, his head down tiredly. You were curious how he would play it, and simultaneously hoped he wouldn’t try to play you at all.

           “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to read it,” you continued quietly. “But you have to know that the most obvious reading isn’t worth going back to prison over.”

           Neal drew in a long, tight breath, through which his shoulders barely moved. “No,” he agreed, sounding absolutely exhausted. “It’s not.” He moved his hands, and then you saw in his eyes the same look that he’d had after the op went south weeks ago. He looked like his spirit had been beaten down, and he was so weary he couldn’t summon the energy to hold his shoulders up. “It’s not what it looked like.”

           “Tell me what it was, then,” you prompted gently. It wasn’t your intention to violate his privacy or push very far. Despite the symbolic gesture you had made, your badge was still right there and you were still an agent of the FBI. You weren’t interested in that being a factor in how much or how little Neal chose to reveal to you – you wanted to be his friend first and foremost. But you also weren’t sure how much you truly wanted to know, or how much Neal would tell you regardless of whether or not you were a fed.

           The artist rested his elbow on the table, still turned towards you in his chair. After he lowered his eyes from your face, he didn’t look up for a couple of very long moments. Because you knew him well, you waited patiently. If he had decided he wasn’t going to tell you anything, then he wouldn’t be looking away from you. Neal was very good at issuing a challenge without being overtly confrontational, and right now, he wasn’t challenging your right to know, just… figuring something out in his head. Thinking.

           “I want you to know that I didn’t intend for this to happen,” he said finally, lifting his head. His usually kissable lips were frowning. “And I tried resisting.”

           That made you frown. What was there to resist? Coercion? “Resisting what?” You asked him worriedly.

           That worry only increased tenfold when he answered, “Blood.”

~~~~~

~~~~~

 A/N: This is part two of three. There will be one more chapter after this.

If you like my writing and would be interested in skipping the request queue, please consider commissioning me on Ko-Fi. Imagines are $1 each and a 2,500-word oneshot is $4. 

[some-jw-things]

So I am a Christian (Pentecostal to be specific) but i wasnt raised with any religion. I found my faith on my own and I feel that that is a big reason my faith is as strong as it is. If ever I have kids, i want to raise them Christian, but i have seen on blogs/YouTube channels like this just how much it can mess up a kid being raised in a church. Of course I want them to have a relationship with God, but on their own terms. Do you think that raising a child in a religion is inherently harmful?

It depends on the religion and how it’s practiced. I know my own parents never intended to hurt me at all and they really thought they were just doing what was best for me. I’ve had multiple therapists say I was severely emotionally abused. I have no clue how to reconcile those two things

I’m gonna start this off by saying I have no clue what the specific beliefs of Pentecostalism are or the mainstream practices of Christianity

Lots of people raised Christian have trouble with the idea of sin and Hell. If you teach your kid that all sinners go to Hell, they will instinctively hate themself every time they mess up. They will be terrified. It is easier for you to process ideas like that as a converted adult in the same way it is easier for an adult to watch a TV show about realistic serial killers than it is for a kid. Things that don’t seem so scary to you might give your child nightmares. Also one major effect of the idea that sinners burn in Hell and so many little things are sins is that it breeds perfectionism. That can have some pretty bad mental consequences once your child is a teenager or young adult

Another thing to not do is teach that there is only one correct way of living or being a good person. Tell your kid it’s okay if they don’t believe the same thing as you, or if they don’t believe at all, and that you’ll still love them no matter what. If you can’t say that honestly, don’t have kids. Your child will not be a photocopy of you and they will not think the same way as you. This means they’ll disagree with you sometimes. They need to know that is a viable and comfortable option. I also think parents should tell their kids what other beliefs are out there, because only teaching one worldview as if it’s fact sends a very clear message. My parents only ever taught me their religion, which forbid using external sources to learn about it, and other religions were only brought up to be mocked or discredited in a quick throwaway line with no actual depth of understanding.

A core part of evangelism is the idea that the only reason the entire world doesn’t convert is because they haven’t been told about it. Other religions have no legitimacy, their views are inherently flawed and sinful, and all their members are just ignorant. If you raise a kid like this, then you raise a playground bully and later a bigot

Last actual doctrinal point I wanna talk about is common Christian forms of bigotry. Christianity founded purity culture, it’s homophobic/transphobic enough that it’s one of the main things it’s known for, and it also has major issues with sexism. In the past there was some horrible shit done with racism and mental illness, but nowadays that seems limited to fundamentalists or cults like I grew up in. Keep an eye out for what your church is teaching your kid, the attitudes around them, what unsaid messages are being passed on. Watch yourself, too. No matter how you raise them, your child may grow up to be queer or mentally ill. Prayer won’t fix that. Your child may have sex before marriage. They may leave your religion. If you signed up for a kid, then you signed up to love them through all of that, and to make that abundantly clear to them before it becomes an issue. This needs to be more than just lip service. Kids can tell

Final point— vet your church and vet the religious adults your kid is exposed to. They may teach them more toxic ideals then you would normally put up with behind your back. Vet the pastor, the Sunday school teacher, any community leaders. A mostly tolerant church could still have judgy older women who’ll tell your closeted middle schooler that they need to change if they want God to love them

Don’t let love be conditional, basically, that’s the biggest issue I’ve seen with ex-religious people. Love with terms and conditions that stops existing the second you break a rule creates adults who don’t think love is real. Also don’t tell your kid that God will kill/torture them if they mess up or stop obeying him. Finding a different path shouldn’t come with “you can, but God will burn and torture you forever if you do :)”. That’s not real support. That’s coercion

[prorevenge]

Veteran Mechanic taking advantage of active duty military and retirees messes with the wrong person and his buddy goes down with him.

When this started all I was trying to do was get out of paying for something I didn’t need and never asked for. By the end I was going for blood as someone else enacted their revenge.

This happened back in 2002 on Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego. I was stationed down the way at 32nd Street Naval Base for my MIlitary Occupation Specialty school and was a new Lance Corporal (E3) at the time. I had a 1994 Dodge Spirit with 180K miles or so and I’d just driven it across the country. I bought it a few days before leaving KS at an Auto auction. A couple weeks into my school it died, at the gate, next to the sentry.

After an initial freak out that I was a suicide bomber and the subsequent search of me and my car everyone calms down and they help push my car to the top of the hill so I can coast down the other side and into the auto repair shop parking lot which thankfully went without incident.

Before I go in I call my dad and then his cousin. My dad knows a ton about cars and his cousin is a mechanic with his own very successful shop (like a dozen work bays and they handle everything from regular cars to farm equipment to semis). I know a fair bit about cars on my own but he knows everything. Between us we decide it looks like the distributor or the distributor cap is the issue. My dad’s cousin says it’s a common issue on Spirits from this time and recommends I get it fixed here by a real mechanic. Now at this point it’s important to note his shop did a very thorough once over for me after I bought the car and gave me good notes on the condition of the car in writing, from his shop.

I go in and talk to the guy at the counter. They’re not too busy and pull it into a bay and run their diagnostics, same thing. Distributor cap. Cool. I get the services agreement saying they’ll replace it and call me if they find anything else. I hear nothing until the end of the week when they call and say my car is ready. When I get there they present me with a bill for like $1400!

Wow. Just wow. Now my heart has stopped beating and I say something about that being a lot for a distributor cap. The guy who owns the place (I find out he’s a veteran from way back) breaks off talking to a Master Sergeant (MSgt - E8) and comes over to talk to me. He starts telling me about how it was much worse than they originally thought and they ended up having to replace my radiator (plus hoses) and my timing belt and a head gasket. I’m still in shock and say something like the head gasket was fine two weeks ago and so was the radiator and the timing. He puts his hand on my shoulder and tells me I don’t know what I’m talking about bc they’ve been waiting to fail for a long time now.

I’m confused now and say that’s not possible. I bought it two weeks ago and... He cuts me off and says I was sold a complete lemon and I should have had it checked. He says he felt bad for me and this should have cost over $2000 but he cut me a deal and he can work with me in an installment plan but will have to charge me interest. Now I’m suspicious and starting to get pissed and I say the only repair I authorized was a distributor cap and they should have called me before doing anything else and I start to explain I’ve got paperwork from the inspection I had done that said those other things were fine. I’m going to get it from the car and the MSgt grabs me by the arm and starts telling me I’m being ungrateful and disrespectful to a respected mechanic and business owner and asks me if I’m implying he’s cheating me. Every time I try to open my mouth he cuts me off and keeps telling the owner not to worry, he’ll make sure this young pup pays what is owed. He’s threatening to take me over to admin and have my pay docked.

Now I’m angry and a bit scared. Another Marine intervenes and says that’s a little extreme and to let me say my piece. I get permission to get into my car to get my maintenance history which includes an oil change, the inspection documentation and the original quote for the distributor cap work. At this point there’s a crowd of customers and some other passers by. The owner of the garage and MSgt are in full theater mode talking about how I’m not appreciating the huge help they’ve been and I’m trying to get out of paying for work I asked for. Now I’m mostly just pissed.

I come in and the MSgt cuts me off and tells me to be careful how I talk to his friend. I ask the MSgt if he’s going to let me speak or keep interrupting me while I’m in a private conversation with a business owner. I ask him if he owns part of the shop (no) and ask why he’s so interested in not hearing a Marine out. Then I get out the original statement of services and say the distributor cap is all I agreed to. I also ask why he didn’t call me and he says he called my barracks several times and left messages including ones telling me the car was undrivable until the repairs were made so he went with the lowest cost option to get me back on the road. Oops. I say, that’s interesting, the only number I gave you is my cell phone and I don’t have any messages or even attempted calls until the previous evening when they left a message that my car was ready. I show everyone my call history (including a Captain who’s very interested and standing quietly by). The MSgt has backed off and the Capt is quietly talking to him off on the side.

Now the owner is backpedaling a bit and saying he was thinking of a different customer but he’s already made the replacement and has to charge me for the work. Then I pull out the stuff from the inspection and it has some fun little statements in it. Statements like: Timing belt good, timing good. Check again in 30K miles. Radiator, appears to be recently replaced. All hoses new in last 6 months. Nothing on the head gasket but there’s a statement that there are no leaks in that area which was why he said he had to replace it. I say he can put all of my original stuff back on because all I’m paying for is the distributor cap work. He gets red faced and starts demanding I pay for the labor and he can’t put things back on because they were too badly damaged in the removal process.

Now some old retired guy chimes in from the back and asks “what kind of mechanic damages things when they take them apart?” The owner drags out my radiator and there is a giant hole in one side that looks like it was stabbed with a crowbar. Now a couple other people (locals) are questioning past situations where he ‘helped them’ out with repairs they didn’t know they needed. The MSgt tried to walk off and a Colonel and a Sergeant Major in civilian attire post him to the side for a later conversation. The Capt pulls me aside and asks to see the info I have and to see my phone again and steps behind the counter to photocopy it all. He has a truly evil grin. Turns out he’s a prior Enlisted former infantry Marine who became an Officer after going back to college. He has suspected this shop of being crooked for a while but never had enough proof. He’s on the commanding general’s staff and they were looking into complaints from permanent personnel and retirees in the area. The owner is sweating bullets now. I only pay for the distributor cap and get a statement that says my balance is zero so he doesn’t try anything in the future.

The Capt takes me to dinner and gets my info and basically a statement from me of what happened. After dinner he takes me back to his office while he types up something for me to sign about the whole incident and I call Verizon to get them to fax over the incoming / outgoing calls from my number from the past week. He explains that the MSgt has been steering a lot of customers to his buddy and they suspect he’s getting kick backs. The Capt and several others have been taking their cars there for months to try to catch the guy doing what he did to me. The MSgt sealed his fate when he started threatening to take my pay. They suspected he was getting kickbacks or favors in exchange for hooking up his buddy. Now he has the justification he needs to formally look into the MSgt. The Capt was thrilled and bought me a 6 pack for using up so much of my Friday evening.

I wasn’t around long enough to see the outcome but when I left there were auditors from base services going through the business with a fine tooth comb and it was a legal matter. Once something like that gets started it probably means a business and the owners will get kicked out of the on base location (the base owns the building and the owner leases it). He and his business would also end up blacklisted as a place known for taking advantage of service members. Most commands give this out to people who check in so no one patronizes them.

It still boggles my mind that one veteran would try to use that status to take advantage of others. Or that a senior Marine would do that to other Marines. I know there are people out there like that but having the shared common background we do, I expect better.

(source) story by (/u/earthrogue)