idekwidcfo

[idekwidcfo]

"oh yeah idk what my gender is but I'm definitely not a man??"

"I don't mind buying condoms but fuck buying tampons"

They’ve finally made a women’s condom. No, not a female condom—it’s a male condom … for women. Meika Hollender is teaming up with her father, Seventh Generation founder Jeffrey Hollender, to market a new line of condoms designed to be more alluring to female consumers than traditional brands. “Conventional condom…

um what do my women (both trans and cis) followers feel about this?

[idekwidcfo]

enter Nan

I successfully drank last night?

My memory is incredible fuzzy but I didn’t black out, I threw up but it was almost like an opiate vomiting in that it just felt good to get the icky out of my tummy, and I didn’t mack on any dudes. 

Unfortunately I didn’t mack on any ladies either but that’s okay. 

I bet I could mack on Nan heheheh

I saw my best friend I hardly ever see since we’re both so busy which was awesome. 

My friends distracted a dude who couldn’t seem to get over how attractive I am (cool, except for the creepy aspect of it). He ended up a part of our group. I don’t know if someone explained to him that I have a boyfriend, if he maybe had a partner or something and wasn’t trying to hook up with anyone, or if he just had no game. I vaguely remember that one of the last things we did was try to get rid of him. Due to it being my friends, the plan was to run away from him as fast as we all can. I don’t remember doing that and don’t think we did but we planned to because we’re silly. I do think he forgot to get anyone in the group’s number, which makes me come back to my ‘no game’ theory. 

but it was fun! I finally got Nan’s number and am looking forward to getting closer with her. She told me about Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality which I’ve already started. 

this is my fucking blog not a reflection  assignment idk what else to say so i’m pressing post and moving on with my life now. 

[idekwidcfo]

me in 2025: liking Harry Potter is cringe

me in 2014: the above post

what's the truth

say what you will about JK Rowling, the fact she made Hermoine Granger who is my number one inspiration for be a straight-A student speaks volumes. 

[idekwidcfo]

still good advice probably

Don’t ask yourself, “Is this normal?” Instead, ask yourself:

Is this healthy?

Is this good for me?

[idekwidcfo]

I still feel this way because of that fucking jackass

If you are aware that you’re a douchebag jackass before your morning coffee

GET A FUCKING COFFEE MAKER

That is NO excuse to be a douche bag to cashiers and tbh I wish it was punishable by law with a hefty fine.

[idekwidcfo]

low-key maybe high-key kinda feelin like Mikayla could relate to this

I really feel like I used up all my chances to have boyfriend be sensitive to the fact that I’m upset and I wish he had told me that it was only an 18-month trial with the sensitive and caring version before I got downgraded to the ‘get over it’ one. 

I think there was one time maybe a few months ago… I think. Maybe. where he was understanding and sweet instead of exasperated and selfish. 

fucking selfish

i don’t care how annoying it is to you your partner is

fucking crying don’t act like it’s annoying at all jfc

I mean it’s great that I don’t get upset as often because I’m not on fucking hormonal birth control but that doesn’t mean I don’t get upset ever. 

[idekwidcfo]

ALSO i forgot to make this complaint 

we have 7 people to keep our 24 hr 7-Eleven running. 

If one of us gets sick or takes a vacation, we have 6. 

That is three shifts a day with at least one of the shifts having two people working and the owner is all RABBLERABBLE NO OVERTIME RAWR 

which makes it really hard on the manager who makes the schedule. 

also my taking the day off means a lot of stuff isn’t going to get done

and I just wish that the owner wasn’t so fucking concerned about keeping payroll low– HERE’S AN IDEA, SELL YOUR FUCKING ESCALADE IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO PAY ONE MORE PERSON TO WORK A FEW FUCKING HOURS A WEEK AND EMERGENCIES LIKE TODAY

He’s nice and he and his wife really did start from “nothing” (being born middle class and white, at least… ‘nothing’ as defined by white people) but don’t complain how fucking expensive giving people a fucking paycheck is when you drive that gus-gazzling piece of shit and it’s one of two cars and a motorcycle. 

SELL SOME SHIT IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO KEEP YOUR STORE WELL-STAFFED. CONSIDERING WE'RE WHAT KEEPS THE STORE RUNNING AND PUTTING MONEY INTO YOUR POCKETS, WE'RE KIND OF IMPORTANT 

of course I’d never say this to him… sigh. 

I just wish I could take a day off without feeling terrible and like resting so I feel better for work tomorrow somehow makes me a terrible person. 

fuck. 

[idekwidcfo]

I just feel like girls put in so much effort to being cute and pretty and that is very badass but I don’t fit in.

Calling me a girl is like giving me credit for all that work I don’t put in. This is just how I feel, I know femininity isn’t about make up and cute clothes

But tbh I don’t get what it’s about and feel like that means I’m not a part of it.

[idekwidcfo]

I think I’ll always be the long, descriptive message who falls for the short, distant reply.

[idekwidcfo]

2025 me 🤝 2014 me

goddamn work sucks when the owner's around

The owner of my sevs has been there all morning.

It reminds me of when the morning girl before me quit.

And I really don’t blame her.

[idekwidcfo]

I was right

How many people do I have to unfollow before I stop seeing ‘wah cis people are oppressed on tumblr’ posts?

(Except when being responded to or reblogged for a good response of course)

Here’s a solution that gay/trans people don’t have- get off of tumblr. Go back to the real world where most people don’t even know that non-binary is a thing. The real world non-cishets have to LIVE IN and can’t get log out of except in a really intense metaphorical sense that unfortunately many do resort to. Go back there and enjoy your cishet privilege and tell stories of the mean trans nonheteros. But keep that shit far away from me.

I’ve lost followers recently and I think the only controversial stuff I’ve posted is pro-trans stuff, so I think it’s time to publish this even though it’s been sitting in my drafts for a while. 

Reserve racism does not exist cisphobia does not exist heterophobia does not exist

shut the fuck up about it and get the fuck away from our safe space kthnx.

[idekwidcfo]

well that turned out not to be true

stop freaking out, little one. it’s okay. you’re doing literally great so far and it is probably foolish to think all your courses will be this easy, but that’s really only a good thing. you will have a good job teaching– teaching! helping little ones who are actually still little and not just small in stature learn while dealing with their shitty teenage years. And you won’t need boyfriend and you will know that you’re not with him out of having nowhere else to go. 

And you will get through it. Come the fuck on, it’s time to believe in yourself and stop thinking it’d be fine to be Jay one day. It’s not. THINK OF HOW OFTEN HE HAS TO DEAL WITH THE OWNERS. YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE JAY.

[idekwidcfo]

I ended up never going back to the apps cuz I put off responding to people and felt bad

I'm like hey I'll try the whole online dating thing again since my girlfriend doesn't love me but I forgor that includes uploading photos of myself ugh

[idekwidcfo]

MY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO GET MISTAKEN FOR A BOY

BUT NO I'M GENDERQUEER AND BIOLOGICALLY FEEEEMALE NOT A BOY NOT REALLY GONNA START T LIKE MAYBE I SHOULD HAHA JUST KIDDING BUT ALSO THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE CALLS ME MISS I'M DEFINITELY STARTING T LOL JUST A JOKE J/K J/K :)

I love leaving the house and wondering if I’ll get mistaken for a boy. 

My goal in life is to get mistaken for a boy. Or at least asked the question. “Are you a boy or a girl?" 

I hope I am paying attention when I finally get it so I can smile and go "yes!" 

[idekwidcfo]

I think the last year or so and going from some shit ass guy with like no self confidence and little sense of identity to someone (slightly) more confident has actually been pretty masc and gender of me and it always amazes me how quickly we change but also how much we stay the same..

existence is weird

[idekwidcfo]

if I for real for real attempt suicide I'll get a few days off work right? they'll put me on a 72 hour hold if I go to the hospital?

[idekwidcfo]

She asking if "we" will ever get out of this town but she also tells me she can't promise there's a future for us so what the fuck is this "we"

Tried to have sex the other night and she wasn't in the mood

Not sure what we're even doing here any more

We did talk about like, hey I've been really jaded about our relationship since I dipped my toe into talking about marriage again and she said she saw herself marrying a woman. And I thought we agreed we would still be intimate cuz why not enjoy that while we can. But it makes me even more jaded to get rejected trying to initiate intimacy. I doubt I'll try that again any time soon. If she wants to hook up she needs to take lead my fragile heart can't handle the rejection again.