#but i guess im me and thats something i do so i should try to be better
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How would you redesign Headmaster Magneto? Just out pf curiousity because while he served it didn’t feel like… Erik.
i have to keep it 100 i have no idea without just. rerunning his original design but with a palette swap LOL but we try around here
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#snap sketches#CAUSE LIIIKEE i want to keep SOMEE elements of the headmaster look obviously#i like its design intent. or how i see its design anyway idfk .... idk what im sayin im sleepy#just gotta. throw a few more things on there .... maybe... again i dont know 😔#the bigass M just makes me think of megaman gigamix i cant even lie#having/wanting to keep this as a one piece/leotard with that big ass m is probablyl whats stumping me if im so tbh#for some reason the lack of 'underwear' and helmet really is doing a lot for it Not feeling like magneto#the helmet i get Thats His Symbol ATP but the underwear ..... girl idk Strong Man or something like that#its just awkward because headmaster magneto is Supposed to be more tame or . 'domesticated' i guess vjALKE#not less powerful but he shouldnt be as intimidating/outwardly powerful if. that makes sense???#the first thought seeing him shouldnt be 'hes going to stomp me to death' it should be. Not That LKVJAEKj#BUT AT LEAAASSST in the back of the mind being likek 'he could probably stomp me to death'#SOME power but not to a threatening degree idfk what im saying my TUMMY IS RUMBLIGN AGAIN#what did i eat todasy. i ate like five hot pockets today thats what i ate. and some grapes#idk im tired. maybe ill try this again down the line#anyway enjoy if you can. saturday is upon us which means i can DOODLE AGAIN
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but#elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but#he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol#but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be#og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing.#etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color#obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha#i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes#and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes?#like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know#trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like#would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs#i mean..#Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know#i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account#of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character#also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it#so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol#tma#my art#elias bouchard#the magnus archives#some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed#for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and#assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no#there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice#i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair#my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats'#LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian#ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks
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Ride 741: Danchiku's “shout”
Pag 1
1: In their eyes,an unshakable will....!!
Pag 2
3: Ahhhh
4: Danchiku is exhaling!! For so long!!
3.... 4....
5: 5 seconds!!
Ahh
6: No, he's exhaling even more!!
8... 9.... 10 seconds!!
Ahhhhh
Pag 3
1: 11 seconds.... 12 seconds!!
3: He's emptying his lungs using all his muscles around them!!
5: This is bad!!
Pag 4
1: It's coming!!
2: “Panda shout”
“It's a breathing technique”
“I become twice as fast”
The onw who reaches the sensor line first wins this race!!
If I don't get ahead now
3: He'll catch up!!
4: Ahhh
Pag 5
5: Filled up of “fresh”!!
6: Panda....
Pag 6
1: Shout!!
Hiigaruaaagh!!
Pag 7
1: Hiigaruaaagh!!
Pag 8
1: He caught up to me!!
2: Twice as fast!!
3: Kuaaaaagh
Pag 9
1: We entered the last curve!!
And Danchiku is still accelerating!!
2: This is Danchiku at “100%”!!
Pag 10
1: Cough cough
This is so hard!!
2: 300km left until the sensor line!!
3: Catch up, catch up, catch up
Catch up!!
Pag 11
1: Sugimoto Terufumi!!
2: Kuaaaaaa
200m left!!
Pag 12
1: Cough
Cough
2: We're all both human beings
We all have limbs, and a head
Danchiku, and Onoda, and Naruko too
3: We're all human beings!!
4: Our bikes aren't all that different
My Colnago is ligh and fast!!
5: So, I'll catch up
I'll catch up!!
6: I should catch up!!
Pag 13
1: I watched it, their running
3: I watched them from the sidelines
For three years!!
4: Onoda!!
Onoda-kun!!
Sakamichi!
Pedaaal!!
5: Doesn't matter how hard it was for them
Pag 14
1: They never gave up!!
3: Calm down, heart
Calm down, breath
4: Panda shout? Bamboo Hop Shot?
5: You're working hard,didn't you, Danchiku?
That's nice
6: Then I'll indulge you and let you practice with me!!
Kuaaaaaa
Pag 15
2: They left Onoda and the others behind.. so the race is on this lap!!
Nii-chan!! On!!
They're coming!!
3: Danchiku and Sugimoto
4: 100m left!! This will settle it!!
They both started the final sprint!!
Danchiku is ahead!! And he's smiling!!
Pag 16
1: Sorry, Sugimoto-san
As expected, you ran and practiced in Sohoku with no breaks for three years
2: But
It's over now!!
3: I'm sorry, but give up please!!
4: Sugimoto!!
5: Nii-chan!!
Pag 19
2: Kuaaaaaagh
4: Ju... just now....
Pag 20
1: They arrived at the same time.... on
2: At the end.... Sugimoto stretched ahead with a long sprint...
Who knew he could do something like that!!
3: Nii-chan really is amazing, on!!
4: But
A tie at this moment means that-
On
5: This race
Pag 21
1: Hasn't ended yet!!
It's a suddent death match until they settle this!!
2: A long.... sprint...
You still had.... something like that....
4: Good job.... my Colnago-chan, good job
5: No... now....!!
Should we go another lap, Danchiku?!
6: This guy.... he doesn't give up!!
#yowamushi pedal translations#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 741#sugimoto is so cool?????#i did not expect it tbh lmao#this chapter is prettu surprising??? makes it so difficult to guess whats going to happen#i was talking with my sister earlier and we got to the conclusion that its possible that neither of them will go to the ih in the end#and both rokudai and kinaka will#because - lbr sugimoto is too weak to compete in the ih like IM SORRY AND I HATE TO SAY IT BUT ITS TRUE!!#and he's still treated as weak or anyway not so strong you know? and yes i do know we had junta last year who was the same#but thats it we cant have the same kind of character twice right?#so yeah the chances of him going are still low for me. but at the same time. danchiku and kaburagi are being too obnoxious#its like watanabe is trying his best to not make us cheer for them#and for sugimoto to be beaten once again by them? that'd be harsh#and its suspicios that thei race ended in a tie for two times. it should have ended already at this point#so. my guess is that for some reason (maybe onoda's choice? he is the captain after all. or maybe something will happen with the first year#for some reason neither of them will be chosen and roku and kinaka will#but tbh the only thing im 100% sure is that rokudai will go to the ih#everything else is a big ?????? in my mind lmao
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ive seen ppl saying smth in the wider plagiarism discussion to the tune of "don't worry anxious people, it's impossible to accidentally plagiarize!" and i feel like that lacks a lot of nuance that anxious brains like mine latch on to to just dismiss the possibility outright, as well as a lack of life experiences fueling it.
it is possible to "accidentally plagiarize" in that you can read something, forget about it, then a while later have your brain spit the ideas back out without telling where it got them. so of course you just assume they're yours and share them as such, because That's Where Most Of The Thoughts In Your Head Come From! and it both is and isn't plagiarism, you weren't /intending/ to pass someone's else's work off as your own, i'd even say in a way you were just as much a victim of misinformation as your audience. but you very much so did still resuse the work of someone else, even if you don't remember it.
but in my experience, this kind of thing also happens to a lot of people. you tell a friend a joke then wake up in a cold sweat two days later realizing the reason they didnt laugh was because they'd told you that joke a month ago. you reply to a friend's text and after sending you realized you ended it with the same exact phrase as theirs. you're writing edgy poetry and write a line you really like only to see it in a text post two days later saying youve already liked the post. like, it happens. so if it DOES happens and you're just honest and explain, people will understand. something like "oh shit im sorry, i totally have read that, i mustve forgotten and only remembered bits and pieces and just thought they were mine. thank you for letting me know and for the source" works wonders.
people know you can forget things. people won't automatically doubt your apology just because all true plagiarists say it was accidental. HOPEFULLY people can understand the nuance between a genuine remorseful explanation, and a thief who hoped no one would find out scrambling for excuses for why they did it. and those who can't, that's a them problem, not a you problem, you've taken responsibility for your actions as much as you can. they think the answer is simple, that the only thing stopping you from saying "yes i did it on purpose, i knew the whole time and deliberately copied them" is shame/inability to admit to your actions. but sometimes things AREN'T that simple, so imo ppl who are shitty to you for not following the script they made up for you in their head should be ignored
#youre allowed to make up scripts for people in fact good luck stopping yourself since thats kinda just part of how conversation works#is you try to predict how your audience will react to a certain statement#and my therapist actually encouraged me to practice run stuff i wanna talk about in sessions because That Makes It Easier To Talk About#like who cares if it's rehearsed‚ it's still the truth‚ yknow?#however that only applies to the things /you/ want to say. you are the only one aware of this script and the only one who agreed to it in#the first place which is why you plan contingencies into the script#is because you only have control over one character and can only take guesses at what the others might say#if you guess wrong and they do something different that doesnt mean /theyre/ not following the script#it means /your/ copy was a misprint and you filled in the blanks wrong. so do what good actors do and improvise. you'll get back on script#eventually. or not‚ if your guesses devolved into wildly speculative fanfiction‚ but frankly you knew going into it that#most of your script was guesswork so you should be prepared to have to make some things up on the fly#or see again: prepare contingencies#if your guesswork on your copy of the script turns out to be wrong‚ wouldnt it be sooo handy to have a second copy which follows this#version of events much better?#and if not that one‚ maybe this third? how about this fourth? etc etc etc#but really just. when guessing at what others will say. know that you are guessing and dont hold it against /them/ if youre wrong#sorry ik that wasnt super related to the post itself im just also passionate abt that#plagiarism#james somerton
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updated personas/subroutines: (disclaimer: i still don’t think im plural, sorry)
Pepper/Clover: the main one, not even one of the subroutines really, just the blank slate object which all the others act upon. The physical body. The only persona recognized by society.
Autopilot: the regular forms and functions of being a human being. Wake up, brush teeth, go to class, come home, go to sleep. Sometimes one of the others sneaks in and replaces it without my notice, especially when I’m talking to other people, and I don’t care for that shit at all. Routine.
Rambles: Vile little subroutine that makes my mouth move well before my brain. Sometimes I feel like I’m going on and on and I can’t stop. I don’t like conversation much because having to talk necessitates Rambles and then I feel totally out of control and I hate it. Objectively this one has its uses but it’s also my least favorite.
The Wretch: Self-loathing subroutine. Convinced it’s a worthless fuckup and probably correct. Self-sacrificing while being selfish, apologetic while seeking sympathy, paradoxically victim and passive-aggressor. The worst of both worlds. I actually put a lot of time and effort into being properly accountable the way a human being should be, but sometimes i get overemotional and I spiral and that part’s The Wretch i think.
The Doll: Control, poise, perfection, submission, obedience. Maybe if it’s perfect we can get it right this time. If it’s just perfect then nobody can criticize it. Next time it’ll get it. Never does. Masking, I think? Maybe some kind of fucked up anti-masking? Can’t keep this one up for long. Wishes it could just be quiet for once and let our actions speak for themselves, but people keep trying to talk to it, and it inevitably slips away. Probably used it more when I was working.
The Dog: Playing, eating, sleeping, rolling, getting off, singing and drawing. Simple bodily expressions. Not so bright. This one doesn’t get much of an outlet. Kind of a lump, occasionally whipped into shape by expectation. I actually kinda like being this one but it’s impossible when being perceived by another human being. The most invisible persona of them all. Immoral (amoral?) and therefore unsustainable long-term
The Magician: Doing, studying, creating, dressing, presenting. A self-styled scholar. Flashy and stylish and confident. Would describe itself as “dark academia” or something similarly edgy-but-trendy. Work and school romanticized, transmogrified into an exciting fantasy. Useful for being productive.
The Witch: Free of responsibility to society or others or ethics. A heartbreaker maneater homewrecker bitch. A natural disaster. An expression not of individuality or self, but force and violence. Claiming anything it wants by any means necessary and destroying everything in its path. Selfish to the core. Chained up in a basement somewhere. It exists but it’s cruel and it sucks so I never ever let it out. But I like to remember it’s there. A trump card, a concealed weapon. Break glass in case of emergency. I feel the shape of its outline like a knife stashed in a boot and I know I could use it if I ever needed it.
Honorable Mentions:
Poetics: Playing with sounds, words, grammar, languages, ideas until they sound musical and pleasing. Etymology research, vocabulary buff, eidetic memory for certain words and phrases, but only when they sound “right”. Possibly used for all five senses, or possibly shares overlap with Composition (visual) and Kinesthetics (touch)
Faux Marxism: Self-righteous understanding of the dialectical materialist view of history. Used mostly for impassioned speeches at inopportune moments (Rambles) or in response to perceived political threats. Poetics and Faux Marxism are both very invested in learning as much vocabulary, history, languages, and multiculturalism as possible, but for very different reasons.
Horndog: you could take all of sexuality and sprinkle it across all the other different subroutines, OR you could concentrate it into one horrible little guy.
Puzzles: The subroutine that just will NOT let a problem go until it’s solved. Character designs, meaningless research inquiries, computer software. Very very very very rarely, actual assigned tasks. The Magician wants what Puzzles has.
Hibernation: Comfy cozy blanket pillow sweater cuddle nap pile. Memorized the rhythms of the winter hibernation episodes of Tanoshii Moomin Ikka and plays them in a loop continually year-round. This one might be straight-up biological. I think I might have a vitamin deficiency.
Fog: The squishy slouchy sweaty medium that fills up whatever psychic dream space all the other personas occupy. There used to be a sense of “me” but it got covered up by all the fog what seems like years ago. That sense of wholeness, control, totality, unification. It existed once. I like to think it’s still out there, somewhere, if I just get my meds right or get enough sleep and if I can just synthesize all the others maybe I can feel “like myself” again. But all the fog covers it up. Memory issues. Whenever I get a sudden moment of clarity, and I realize I’ve been one of the more loathsome subroutines, someone I don’t recognize, I’ll have just stumbled out of the fog. Always comes with a feeling of “Why did I just say that?” Or, “What did I just say?”. Dissociation, maybe???
????: see previous. The negative space that fills everything else in. I don’t even know whether to call this one “Selfhood” or “Synthesis” or “Control” or “Autonomy” or …”Me”. That’s probably most appropriate but it feels like too foreign a word to make sense of. Whatever was here once got swallowed up by the fog, and I don’t know what it is anymore. If it was here I think I could feel like a present sensor and agent in my own life again. This is probably what people expect out of “Pepper” or “Clover”, the flagship of the armada, the face and voice of the operation. I don’t know where that person is. All the subroutines (personas?) are trying to emulate her, stall for time until she comes back. She might not ever be coming back. We might be all we have.
#welllll this is a little prolix#uhhh i’m trying to make sense of things for myself a little bit#i got my psych to up my dose so i’m hoping that helps#even if i don’t get the ‘self’ back i want to feel more in control of which persona i’m deploying at any given time#i hate feeling so out of control of myself#and i think typing it all up gives me a better sense of like- what tools i have available#now that i can see the whole arsenal i might be able to make better use of it#ummm#i really really can’t stand rambles and the wretch i was getting angry just thinking about them#BUT#obviously they’re not doing it to be terrible#there’s some kind of unmet need here#i might rename them to something a little more neutral and try to get to know them better#and then i can give them a proper outlet and maybe they’ll stop ruining my life so much#ugh it makes my fucking skin crawl trying to even acknowledge them as “me’ which is why i keep switching tenses#but i guess im me and thats something i do so i should try to be better#whatever#also yeah not really ready to admit there’s some kind of plurality here so for right now this is all a thought experiment#umm i do have some kind of learning disability and some pretty infuriating memory issues#but like i don’t really get time loss and i don’t really properly switch i just get weird moments of clarity#lucidity???#anyways#um#if you got as far as this thanks for reading#this is probably waaY too much information for any given person to have about my psyche but it’s all sufficiently abstracted i think.
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afflicted with some sort of evil girl disorder where i feel stressed constantly and do everything in my power to make it worse
#have to assign myself the homework of ‘what are u trying to gain in therapy’#id go back now but then im like what am i gonna talk about lol how would that fix anything#i need to get tangible reason so i can make myself go and stop being stupid ab it#i guess thats the issue tbh bc ive never gone to a good therapist so idk what happens#i have no gauge for this#i need to: stop being angry constantly. stop being stressed and unable to relax.#and uhhh something something psychosis symptoms something something deep seated trauam issues or whatever#if i had money id go to therapy every day to bitch about random things n it would be so good for me#man I FEEL LIKE im either gonna go to someone and theyre gonna stress me out and make me feel bad ab therapy homework#or im gonna go to someone whos just like ‘yeah… ur soo right that isnt good at all. that makes so much sense…’#i dont want therapist i get stressed about and i dont want therapist whos just there to be like yeah i agree#and idk what any other one outside of these two does so like what do i want lollll#i should just email the one i was talking to and tell her this lmfao#the gamer speaks uwu
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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...
#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel#the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule#and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office#classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand.#which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a#mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively#i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when#i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an#office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then#when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low#energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its#like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that#i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my#lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to#convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture#of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing.#the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like#they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha#yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc#i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself#from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode#and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at#like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop#so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd#also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry#bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting#hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that#the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun#unrelated
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Mr Gatto, do you like doing your job? Is it something you enjoy doing?
(Also take care of yourself Mun! :D)
Even after everything... I don't think I will be changing my job anytime soon.
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#identity v ask blog#identity v the embalmer#gatto event#hi anon thanks for the concern XD#im doing alright i just have this insane depressive block that has been impeding y creative processes#so ive been trying a lot of things to get out of it#one option is to wait it out but im miserable doing nothing. so i will force it out and feel slightly better that at least i did something#i probably should have spaced oout my posts i clear the inbox really really quickly#ill try to get some stuff out while i can. since im free for the month before work resumes n i disappear again#seriously though its frustrating sitting down staring at a blank canvas for 10 mins with 0 ideas and low energy#and then resigning myself to going back to lying down and mindlessly scrolling twitter or whatever#every single time i try to do something i end up back on my bed. for days on end. it makes me want to throw myself down a flight of stairs#at least with asks i have something to work towards and thats so much better even if i do end up back on the bed afterwards#this sounds like a very pathetic show of begging for asks. which i guess it is???#its just that. i used to have so many ideas. i used to draw so many comics. i want to cry every time i compare that with myself now#has work killed off so much of my creativity? probably. but i just really want it back. so im trying my best#i didnt mean to get this emotional in the tags but this is really something ive been struggling with a lot right now#so if u have the time to spare. just drop something dumb in my inbox. it helps a great deal. much greater than i can express#but anyway if ur reading this im still very grateful for the support u have shown to the blog in one way or another.#so thank you very much n i hope the day will treat you kindly#less than three
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google how to get someone to stop reading about crypto and using degenerate
#jesus christ. i tried to move them over to tumblr to get them off reddit but they just go back to the tumblr subreddit every time.#if i tell them to do something they do it but then they put a new and fascinating /neg spin on it#like i told them to follow more ppl on here and they followed about 50 ppl that seemingly never post and i told them to make their cute#little project a sideblog so they can rb stuff but they made it their main and cant rb anything now#i tell them to be vague about the details of homestuck so that their mom doesnt stop trusting me and they decide its a better idea to keep#calling it a cringey bad old webcomic that i really love because i have bad taste#i tell them to stop using degenarate because its a nazi dogwhistle but they decide thats just stupid i guess and keep using it#i think theyre gonna become a crypto bro they have like 5 books about it#they've been on reddit since they were like 10 i dont think i can get them out of there but they should at least go on better subreddits#instead of r/iam14andthisisdeep and r/tumblr and r/whitepeopletwitter and r/nonpoliticaltwitter and who knows what else#its especially the r/tumblr part that i dont get. because they literally have a tumblr account#if theres a specific user that you see making posts you like on the subreddit go follow them! scroll thru tags of things you like and follo#all the blogs! be annoying and put out a post asking for mutuals tagged with fandoms you like!#oh and they rlly like r/nosleep i wish i could get them to go on the creepypasta wiki instead because at least thatll give them some shared#references with the wider internet and ppl their age. their mom has literally no pop culture references whatsoever so im trying to help the#but its honestly really hard when they dont do what i tell them to do. jesus i sound awful dont i#real sasha waybright moment. “you are going to follow 100 more blogs and turn off algorithm stuff now. end of discussion.”#it's not like they have a community and friends on reddit they dont even have an account theyve been lurking for years#they dont even have the app they use the mobile website. ugh im being so bitchy rn ill just shut up#maybw if yall see that this is how i think then youll realize that im not exactly worth interacting with#sorry for spiraling on ya. im pmsing.#and i have a whole disorder about that so
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okay bosses ranked
S tier: ramon, del lago, verdugo
A tier: mendez, el gigante, the two giants, garrador, twin garradors
B tier: saddler
C tier: el gigante armored
fuck you: both krausers
#my fave boss in the entire game was probably ramon#the area ranking is castle > village > island#of the notable enemies..... all the chainsaw and mallet guys and the armor guys are good. the bugs are gross but fine#the red robe guys suck and i hate the regeneradors with a passion#i LOVE leon luis and the merchant. i love ashley as a character but in the gameplay she was at first terrible and with time okay#bc at the mid point and end she wasnt AS much in the way#and ada was...... okay i guess but she represents a female character design i hate so i dont care which is sad#BUT she did have one of my fave dialgues which was when leon said 'i guess i should be thankful'#and she responds after a beat 'yeah. you should' and something abt her animations and the delivery and the timing was just perfection to me#uhhhhh i guess thats all the important stuff!#i got only a B for my playthrough which is truly the pinnacle of mediocrity hjfjdjdjd#ill have to see when i wanna try professional or harcore and do 100% or anything#im excited to dress leon in all the outfits i unlocked tho!!!!
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.
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent#hahaha everything is spiraling out of my control again and i have no will to do anything about it haha ha#i don’t even want any help i just wanna be left alone to numb my brain with unhealthy indulgences until the consequences crash down on me#i mean i don’t Want the consequences but i know they’ll happen. i can feel them building. it’s inevitable.#but if i were Truly alone and had no one reaching out to me then it’d be like 2020 again and i don’t think i could survive that#so i should really force myself to talk to certain people and like. be a decent human and try to act like a decent friend. but ik im not#i take peoples presence in my life for granted until they stop putting up with my shit. as they should. as they really should.#my social drive and capacity is just so low. so so low. but thats not a good excuse. neither are any of my other excuses.#im just so. empty. brain feels like . a brick. sigh. my mouth hurts. will i go clean it out though? no. no im gonna sit here and eat#eat eat eat thats all i do. i need a shower. i have to go to the bank. the aquariums need tending. the house needs repairs. i need sleep#i need a drivers license and a trip to the dentist. an autism diagnosis. testosterone gel. a legal name change. a real hug.#but anyways. i’ve been told it’s annoying how much i repeat the things i need to do. so i should learn to be quiet about them.#i should learn to be more quiet in general. venting is just putting my negativity out into the world. and before the eyes of people with-#-enough on their plate. my head hurts. almost like doomscrolling Reddit for 3 hours was a bad idea huh#my back locked up after spending 3hrs standing in the exact same spot debating politics with someone bc i refuse to sit on his bed instead#the amount of time i’ve spent standing in that doorway over the years is insane. listening to him drunk-yap from the comfort of his bed.#but if i go get a chair he talks even longer so. anyways had to lay down to let my back loosen up afterwards and instead of playing a game#or catching up with a friend or doing anything that might actually improve my mood i just doomscrolled and triggered myself again. :)#now my head hurts and i’m hungry and thirsty and unclean and i just wish he was proud of me. i wish they were proud of me. but im nothing#what’s there to be proud of. what’s there to love. just a burden that he never wanted and the reason they both drink. apparently.#how in God’s name am i twenty five years old. i feel like a child. an overgrown child. fumbling around and playing pretend.#if i have to hear him say ‘suck my dick’ one more time im gonna break something. what a crude insult. stop putting that image in my head.#i guess there’s always gonna be a gaping hole where his unconditional love was supposed to be. as much as i try to ignore it. it hurts.#don’t even know why i want praise from someone so ignorant that i had to explain to him that frankenstein’s monster wasn’t ever real#this is hypocritical coming from a 7th grade dropout but lack of education or at least desire & ability to access factual information is-#-a fucking travesty. it’s sad but it’s also dangerous. ignorance is toxic. we have a fucking education crisis.#how the fuck we went from arguing over dr. frankenstein’s fictional status to fact-checking his statements on the national debt idfk#ah fuck its ten till midnight i have to speed run my dailies. whatever thats enough venting anyway. i should just delete it all
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i hate the food situation at my house so much for the love of god. theres only so many times a man can eat ramen with nothing or tuna with nothing
#theres no fucking. ingredients. theres nothing to add. i used to walk around my kitchen trying to look up stuff to make with what we had but#it required like. an onion. an egg. a spice. a vegetable. and we dont have that#and something about me. idk what it is idk if its me or my dads fault but i cant ask for it. i cant. i think part of it is bc i need the#ingredient for my one thing and then. it goes bad and its my fault and i feel bad#i hate my food situation so much. my dad makes this food in the microwave that he knows i dont like or eat. but if i make something else he#gets offended like thats not fair#and i feel bad for complaining bc i should just get a job and buy my own food but im not gonna do that bc im not gonna get a job.#i have trust fund money. like a decent amount from when i was hit buy a car#i should move out of state like right now. and live off that and when it runs out. ill just lay in the street i guess. i hate my life so#much guys its not funny. idk what to do. theres no fixing this theres nothing i want to do and nobody can help me bc theres no solution#everyone ignores it bc theres no solution to my problem. im never gonna be happy. its never gonna be worth it#nobody wants to tell me thats life suck it up or die bc they know id rather die by a mile. im so embarrassed of my stupid life im such a#failure. i want to kill myself bc i dont want to work like how pathetic is that. thats so stupid. i dont really say it to my parents bc they#would just laugh at me. or yell at me. i dont know what to do. i dont know what to do. i find myself hoping i get in a car accident and die#anytime i go out. i hope i dont wake up in the morning. i hope something bad happens and its not my fault so i dont get the blame i just get#the benifit of not having to do this anymore#god thats so. dark. its how i feel.#its getting to the point where i dont feel like i should say im not gonna kill myself at the end of these. im still not yet. but it feels#like a yet situation. like its gonna get to the point where i start trying again.#im still not there yet though. please dont… well idk what happens so suicidal adults. call the police on me. my methods arent any more#refined than they were when i was 14 trying to drink. nail polish.#simons spouting#vent :(#suicide //
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wanting to start taking care of myself better but not wanting 8000 products and i just need somebody to explain to me like im dumb bc i never rly learned abt anything regarding taking care of appearance or hygiene (other than like. Shower is good and wash your hands KDNTJFN) i just dont know what all is like. actually necessary and what isnt and what is in some cases but not all and etc
#ive gathered ummm. i have a facewash i should get a moisturizer and maybe an exfoliating brush thing is good ?#and hair is where its scary bc i just do shampoo and conditioner and also this is extra hard bc i have trouble showering regularly bc of all#of thing so im like. i guess i need to get that in order rly before i start trying to figure out everything else#but jaircqre stuff scares me do i Need a dry conditioner or does hair corporation just want me to have dry conditioner. do i need serums or#is this fake..you.know#and i dont want a Routine thats like 800000 steps i need something simple that will make me feel nice and not take 8000 hours and i wont die#and esplode if i miss like. a day#whatever... and ik a lot of it is just trial and error and stuff which is why this was one of the things i was putting off til i have my own#job and such . i just dont know where to begin bc like. like how am i supposed to know What kind of moisturizer i should get for my skin#and it just says like Oh well just get one and then see how your skin reacts if x do a if y do b but like moisturizer is expensive isnt it#nd i Have my bday money to spend on it but still what do i do if like. the moisturizer i buy doesn't work and then i just have a whole thing#of moisturizer that doesnt work for me . i guess id offer it to annie or lampstie or mother or father or something but i dont know. i dont#have anybody else i could give it to and i dont Know what type skkn i have bc i dont understand#ig its dry i domt think its particularly pily#i have acne pretty much always its not super severe but i would like it gome forever and such#i need to get back on testosterone. Aughh its everything#its just hard bc trying to fjnd anything abt it is like the equivalent of just saying Show me every single advertisement im like how do i#make my hair look nice and every result is like HERES THE 8000 REASONS WHY YOU NEED TO TRIM YOUR BALLS HAIR OR YOURE GOING TO HELL! and its#like okay. um. scroll to next result YOU NEED THESE 293748484 CREAMS AND TINCTURES AND OINTMENTS OR YOURE A HIDEOUS PIG! okay. um. oink?
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slim pickins
warnings; bad date? mentions of sex, cursing underage drinking and yes i meant for it to be written poorly i was trying to keep the humor of the album in the writing
masterlist | p. 2
no pressure tags; @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake
word count; 1911
summary; youre tired of not finding a decent guy who will treat you right and lay you right. at least not one you've known since you were kids. however you just cant help yourself. besides its slim pickins out here you take what you can get.
divider by @bernardsbendystraws
i wanna make one thing clear, when i say there are no good guys left i do not wanna hear about you and your boyfriend of three years that can cook and loves your mom.
thats exactly what im talking about maddie!!! i dont give two fucks that he took you to barnes and noble and bought you every book you wanted.
they are all taken. its plain and simple.
which is why even with a full roster, im stuck taking fucking zander, yes with a z, to my friends' kegger.
i mean yea hes cute. hes tall, built but not that gross kind of muscly. but if were being real i shouldve known better when he was joking about being a male stripper when hes a ginger.
and i can tell kie is judging me, rightfully so. her side eye is lethal. when i introduced him to everyone she asked him about his greta van fleet tee and he said he didn't even know it was a band.
needless to say pope had to drag her away.
after that incident i decided it was best if we tried to talk away from the rest of the group. boy was i wrong.
"so what do you like to drink? ill go grab us something," i offer trying to start the conversation, also avoiding the usual problem with taking a drink from men.
"im good with whatever"
i like to think im not a violent person, but im about to be.
"does a beer sound okay?" i ask him grabbing a twisted tea for me from the cooler.
"sure thing." god why is he acting like such a bitch? i should ask him if he's on his period.
i hand him the can, our fingers brush and its my final clue for the night that i am definitely not going home with him. no spark at all. hes done just about everything else to piss me off.
he did the thing where he licks his lips exaggeratingly looking me up and down, making a point to make sure i saw.
he walks so slow for being 6'3.
and finally he tried to mansplain my career to me. i'd had just enough when he opens his mouth again
"ew, you like twisted tea? who likes sweet tea?" his face contorted in disgust, it was about to contort from my fist breaking his goddamn nose if he keeps talking to me like this.
"we literally live in the south dude." my face could not make it any clearer i am so done with this guy.
"still, sweet tea is disgusting. im not kissing anyone that drinks that nasty shit."
"who said i wanted to kiss your nasty fucking mou-" i was interrupted by the sound of a very familiar giggle behind me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the smell of his deodorant and sea salt that cover his skin start to put you at ease.
jj was always there when you needed him, sometimes even when you didnt but right now you couldn't be more grateful. "im glad you found those mama i got em just for you. remembered theyre your favorite. right?"
and you wanna know the best part? zander is shaking already pissed off that jj is at my side. territorial i guess.
"you mind?" he asks him nodding his head at me like im not even there.
jj cant help but laugh at him "yea bud i do mind. she's hanging out with me tonight. have fun with your ipa dick." and with that he steers us off to where the rest of the pogues are.
but not before i can look over my shoulder and give the ginger an innocent smile and a shrug as if i had no control over the situation, when really id pick jj over anyone else.
"you owe me a big fat kiss mama," jj whispers in my ear walking us over to where our friends are standing, drinks in their hands laughing and chatting up a storm.
"in your dreams honey."
"every night all night," he quips back before i shove him off me.
now before you give me shit, jj and i have had our fair share of fun, but unfortunately im starting to look for something more serious.
watching john b and sarah be disgusting together is getting to my head. popes got something going on with cleo and im starting to recognize the pattern. and before i know it everyone will be in love if i don't start making an effort in that department.
random casual hook ups aren't doing it anymore, especially considering they aren't even that good.
unless theyre with jj.
but hes not an option, theres too much drama. too much history. too much too much too much. im not what he needs and i know for a fact he doesn't want me in that sense.
is that a bit dramatic? probably.
i mean hes a great lay, he's hilarious, he's got that blue collar kind of muscle, and he genuinely cares about me.
so of course im not going to date him, why would i?
what do you mean make good decisions? id rather do things in the most difficult way possible!
"y/n youve gotta stop giving those guys a chance, im starting to feel bad for you."
"you try finding a decent guy in a ten mile radius." i glare at him, obviously not wanting to joke about this right now.
he sticks his hand out in front of me, "fine i will. let me see your phone."
curious to see what he will do i hand it too him unlocked, he swipes and taps for a few moments, smiling down at the phone before handing it back to you.
when you look back down at the screen all you see is your instagram open with his stupid fucking smiley face on the screen.
he took a picture of himself and posted to my story. written on the screen in bubble letters in my favorite colored heart 'my favorite guy <3'
"i think he's your best bet." that same smile facing back at me now, cockier than ever. so smug i wanna kiss it off his face
i cant help but roll my eyes. "jj im serious! at this rate im going to die alone. every decent guy is taken or unavailable. all i want is someone funny, kind, and attractive is that too much to ask for?"
"im right in front of you mama you dont gotta look far."
"jj we both know we're not the serious kind of relationship im talking about."
"you can think what you want too but ill be here waiting for that kiss you owe me."
"i think all that tequila youve been sipping has gone to your head maybank."
he stands in front of me, taking his signature red cap off his head and putting it on mine smiling down at me, "what do they say in those books you read? you wear the hat you ride the cowboy?"
"this no ten gallon hat and you are no cowboy."
we laugh at each other, its always been easier to do that then actually talk about our feelings. so i put his hat back on his head, backwards the way he i likes it.
"cmon y/n/n, have a few more drinks, relax and hang out and ill make you feel all better later yea? its what im best at, you know."
"its gonna take more than a few more teas to convince me jj"
"what about that thing you like that i do with my tongue, huh mama? doesnt that sound pretty good right now? i think it does."
"i give you one fucking compliment and it goes straight to your head."
"technically its about my head so that makes perfect sense," he hands me another can with that stupid signature smirk of his and his stupid sexy hat backwards. i hate to admit it's working on me.
just like it does every other time.
i squint my eyes at him taking the can, rolling the idea around in my head. "fuck it. its not like anyone else is offering," i take a big sip of my drink.
jj pumps his fist in the air like a victorious idiot giving a few woots and hollars before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder despite my wishes.
"jb!!" he shouts turning around to face him, "we're headed out!"
john b looks at the two of us shaking his head at how im kicking my feet to wiggle out of jjs oddly strong grip. "make sure you change the sheets when youre done!"
oh my god he did not just say that. "fuck both of you!"
jj just laughs carrying you back to the chateau like a kid who's excited to use a brand new birthday present.
"what happened to letting me have a few more drinks before we left??"
"youre just too irresistable mama, gotta have you now,' he gives my ass a light slap for good measure causing me to roll my eyes for the 600th time tonight.
"are you gonna put me down now?"
he pretends to look like hes thinking about it, "i guess. only so i can watch you walk away," he does as he says helping me get my feet on the ground.
"youre a pervert."
"no im flirtatious, and you love it, you know it makes you blush i see it. now go on and give me a lil walk yea?"
oh im gonna kill him...
oh wait! im gonna kill him!
"okay... fine. but no touching until we get home," i smile walking away exactly like he asked, but i know behind me he is a puddle of mud. standing still, about to start begging me to let him.
he finally catches up after a few seconds "mama please- cmon thats not fair. you look too good in those shorts you know i cant wait that long. just wanna feel you."
i cant help but giggle at his words, its honestly adorable how mopey he gets. like i just kicked his puppy or something.
"hands of jj i mean it... not until that door shuts behind us."
it didn't really matter that i can see the chateau or that ill be there in literally a minute.
its actually painful for jj to not be able to touch me as he pleases.
i turn around to face him with a cheeky smile. "you want me maybank?"
and of course he nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall right off.
"come and get me," running towards the house, i can see the moment when his reflexes kick in, his boots thudding against the ground as he gains on me.
just before i can make it to the poarch jj wraps his arms around me, lifting me a few inches off the ground and spinning me around in a fit of laughter.
"okay! okay okay okay you win- you got me."
"oh ive got you mama, and im havin you for the rest of the fucking night," he presses a kiss to my neck hauling me inside, the screen door slamming shut after us.
am i gonna regret this tomorrow? most likely.
but what can i say? its slim pickins in this part of town.
#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x gn!reader#outer banks x reader#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank fics#outerbanks x reader#outerbanks fics#my writing <3#short n sweet#short and sweet#fic recs <3#mama needs her jj#jj maybank need you by my side
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