#whatever... and ik a lot of it is just trial and error and stuff which is why this was one of the things i was putting off til i have my own

[mithliya]

Hey don't answer if this is tmi, but I noticed you've talked about sex with your gf a few times and I don't know anyone irl to ask lol. Do you have any general sex advice, or links to read or whatever? My girlfriend and I are each other's first, and we really struggle with it. Basically every time we just end up using the vibrator on each other, which is fine and fun, but not much variety, but just hand stimulation has never been enough

for most women, fingering or using hands alone isn’t enough. it isn’t for me! my gf on the other hand gets easily overly stimulated. it varies from woman to woman (no 2 vulvas are the same etc). idk if you guys have tried it but perhaps oral might work better? my fave is oral with fingering but never fingering alone. ALSO: lots of foreplay is good. the wetter she is, the more she’ll enjoy smaller things. foreplay includes stuff like: kiss her neck, whisper dirty things to her, tell her how much you want her and how hot you think she is. sucking on her nipples will probably get a good reaction out of her. tease!!!! a lot!! it’s the key to good sex with women. kiss down her body and if you guys are comfortable with oral TRY IT. if either of u are insecure over potential smell or sth, just give it a quick rinse right before. often u can get in ur head when it’s the first time so do what u need to to feel more comfortable, relaxed, & able to enjoy the moment. when it comes to oral, it’s probably best not to jump right into it unless a lot of teasing went into it and she’s super wet already. there’s several tricks for oral that u can find online but honestly when it comes to that, it’s quite individual. pay attention to her body language and see what gets more of a reaction and what doesnt. don’t be shy about sucking on the labia! and ofc, circling around the clit is a safe bet. pointing your tongue will make it more focused on a certain spot and relaxing it will allow u to cover more space. you should have it relaxed at first and start simple, i can’t specify more there bc with every woman ive had to try something different so the most important thing is to experiment with it and if u see sth causes a lot of moans, stick to it! also for fingering: make sure your nails are short, filed down & perhaps don’t cut them right before having sex (idk how true this is but my gf insists if u cut them right before then it’s still quite sharp). when inserting ur fingers, insert one slowly (make sure she’s wet first) and bend it slightly. you’ll find one spot that feels a little different from the rest of her vagina, try to focus more on that spot. it makes fingering feel nicer! don’t rub in there too much cause it can get painful and uncomfortable, try a come here motion.

no one gets it right the first time! but if you guys are comfortable with each other and have time to explore each other’s bodies, you’ll figure out how to please each other without toys with more experience. also u should both practice paying attention to ur own bodies and saying what u enjoy more/less to help the other! ik many women find it embarrassing or bossy or something but women like it when ur telling them how to please u from my experience ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

idk if i helped but i hope i did😭 it’ll take time but you’ll figure it out. be patient! you both need time to understand what the other likes. vibrators are easier bc they stimulate so much that often you’ll get wet without foreplay and orgasm easily so i understand defaulting to it, having sex without any toys for the first time is often less quick and takes more trial and error

[lesbeet]

sorry to ask a big question like this unprompted and of course please don't feel a need to answer this, but i'm having difficulties right now as a college student who managed to never really practice composing formal writing in high school and my first 2 years of college now having to take writing intensive courses. i feel like theres a lot of shifting between different modes in a bit of an intuitive way needed to write effectively, and i'm sure with practice i could get a better sense for that, but in general ive never been good at organizing my thoughts and have a lot of trouble with executive function issues/adhd stuff that make it so that when people try to break things down like ‘just write an outline before you write to structure your thoughts!’ as a simple first step it feels like theres so many unnamed steps i’m supposed to figure out before i can even get to that point. i get the feeling there might just not be easy answers applicable across different people beyond the normal steps people recommend for essay writing and i just have to continue trying to figure it out even if it feels pretty fruitless right now, but i just wanted to ask since i know you’ve talked about both being an english teacher and having adhd (while ofc that doesnt mean youve had that issue, i at least feel it might be easier than how ive tried to articulate my issues with people knowledgeable about writing in my life who dont have adhd or anything) i was wondering if you maybe had any advice about how i could approach this or break things down further or anything? thank you so much even if you just read this and don't respond, my apologies for sending all this!

i'm actually going to approach answering this from more of an english teacher perspective than from an adhd-er perspective, bc i find that a lot of my students without adhd also struggle with organizing their thoughts and putting them into words to a degree that necessitates further direction beyond just "go write an outline"

i can't really give you any specifics without knowing the style of writing or the goal of the piece, but 9 times out of 10 you'll be pretty well served by either:

1. compiling evidence until a pattern emerges, which will help you figure out your overall angle, thesis, claim—whatever you call it, it's the central idea that your writing piece is pointing to. then you can figure out the best way to present your evidence in support of your central idea

or,

2. if you already know what point you want to make, then it's just a matter of figuring out the best way to do it. is there specific evidence that you can use to support it? is there a particular train of logic that you could delineate to help your reader reach the conclusion you're trying to present? sometimes trial and error is best here, or even setting a timer for 5 minutes and typing stream-of-consciousness-style nonstop about the topic to see if any repeated ideas emerge. again, looking for patterns helps here, and adhd-ers are often particularly adept at pattern recognition! once you've found the patterns that will help you make your point, it's honestly not the worst idea to just rearrange them in your head until it feels like it makes sense. most poorly organized writing i read is only poorly organized because the writer put down the ideas in the order they came up with them and didn't try to rearrange them into something more effective. if you try putting things in different spots, you'll start to get a feel for what makes sense, which ideas logically lead into one another, etc.

for writing fiction, honestly the same options can work for brainstorming or outlining, but instead of a thesis, it's a theme, and instead of evidence and a path of logic, it's characters and a plot.

ik this is super vague but i hope it was helpful! if you want more specific advice, feel free to reach out over chat! thank you for being patient i meant to answer this yesterday kdsjflksjd <3

[cosykaleb-blog]

Muse page

“Hasbeen boy genius”

NAME: Kaleb (Kyle) Mordechai Broflovski   AGE: 17 OCCUPATION: Junior Year of high school SEXUALITY: Bi sexual (But in major denial about it) GENDER: He/him MENTAL DISORDERS: Suspects he might be on the autism spectrum, but was never tested. RELIGION: Agnostic (Open to learn, but has a hard time believing what he was taught about his faith)

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

Logical

Book worm

Lacks empathy, but is sympathetic (or tries to be)

Organized

Hard worker academically

Lazy in just about everything else

Egotistic

Loose sweaters and baggy pants are life

HISTORY:

Kyle’s life have been seemingly uneventful other than what ever shenanigans and he his friends tend to get up to. He’s always been the smart kid of the house and always took that title for granted until Ike started to shine academically more and Kyle started finding himself fighting for his father’s approval. Gerald has always been inclined that his children do as best as possible in everything they do otherwise he sees no point in doing anything. Kyle never agrees with his father’s opinions on things because he sees it as biased and because of this there has been a lot of fights at the Broflovski dinner table which always ends with Gerald throwing the “I am your father you need to respect me” card and Kyle storming off to his room. His mother always take the liberty to bring up an extra plate of food and to talk to him trying very hard to keep the peace in the family. Kyle also conflicts with his parents when it comes to his sense of religion. He hardly considers himself an atheist, but he doesn’t really believe in most of what he was told about his faith and this causes fights mostly between him and his dad. Sheila isn’t very happy about it either, but she knows better than to fight with Kyle about something like religion and figured he’s an adult he can start believing what he wants to even if it upsets her. Kyle works very hard to make sure he’s top of his class because his dad wants him to get in to a career he sees fit enough like medicine even though Kyle has more of an interest in cooking. Though he struggles to keep his title as he started becoming second in his class and this causes even more conflict between him and his father. Because of his somewhat unstable relationship with his dad Kyle often feels anxious and uncomfortable whenever he’s home, so he spends most of his time at his friends houses. Kyle has a need to break away and do what he wants and to live his own life, but he’s too dependent on his parents and he values his mother too much to just run away, so he’s stuck. Because of the academic pressure he built a disdain for school and would skip classes and smoke in the school alley with the Goth kids if it weren’t for his conscious and the looming fear of how his father would react if he found him rebelling to that extreme. He’s always had a feeling that he might not be entirely heterosexual, but he pushes away any shred of doubt and tendencies in fear of how his father would react and managed to convince himself to live in denial of his identity

APPEARANCE:

Curly red hair that takes a lot of maintenance to stop it from taking over the world. In the beginning he would spend about an hour every morning to make sure it looked tidy and in place, but as he got older he decided “fuck it” and now let’s his hair do whatever it wants. It’s its own person it has the freedom to peruse it’s own path. He has freckles on most parts of his body though its more obvious on his face and shoulders. When he was little it wasn’t as clear, but the older he got the more prominent it became. He has no piercings at the moment. He used to have a septum piercing that he tried hiding from his parents by pushing it inside of his nose, but one day he was careless and forgot and his mother nearly fainted. He’s probably going to attempt to get another once he’s moved out and it’ll be easier to hide. He thought about getting a tattoo one day, but he’s squirmish about the thought of the needle. Fashion wise he’s got a fairly good sense of how to look  somewhat decent with buttoned up shirts and nice shoes, but generally he lives in beanies and baggy pants with interesting patterns on them. He prefers the whole “poor college art/film student who lives off of noodles and weed and probably listens to red hot chili peppers” look because its easy. It’s only a coincidence that he just so happen to be a RHCP fan. He dreams about walking barefoot all the time if only it wasn’t so cold as well as his germ phobia. He is a very tall boy about 6'6 . He also has rather big hands that are always perfectly moisturized. He inherited his mother’s green eyes. Because of his diabetes he’s very careful about what he eats and sugar content in food, but his mom makes sure he’s well fed most of the time and also because he loves his mom’s cooking he has a pudgy belly. He shaves from time to time, but occasionally he’ll deal with walking around with a scruff stubble when the work load gets too much or he’s just too lazy to shave.  

PERSONALITY:

Kyle comes off as like a really complicated person, but in reality he’s really simple when you get to know him. He thinks with logic and not emotion and sometimes that gets in his away with his ability to comfort his friends. That doesn’t mean he can’t be sympathetic, though he struggles with empathy. He’s a book worm and loves learning about things as much as he can and because of this people tend to label him as a nerd, he doesn’t really care all that much though cause labels are dumb. A lot of people get the impression, because of this label and his need for logical thinking, that he tends to be high strung and kind of anal when in reality he’s a massive dork that still laughs at farts. He’s not professionally diagnosed, but he’s always had a feeling he might be on the Autism spectrum and have been considering getting himself tested, but with his father there is a prejudice about learning disabilities and disorders, so he decided to just not bring it up to his parents to avoid drama and just find ways to deal with it himself. He’s very clean due to his light germ phobia so he avoids touching public things when he can and always carry around a bottle of hand sanitizer and seaweed scented hand cream. He also practices self care pretty much everyday and uses body butter and scrubs which means he’s extra soft and always smell amazing. (General scents he goes by is honey, peppermint or basil, but he’ll use anything if it tickles his fancy enough) Because of his logical thinking he’s always curious about testing out things for trial and error before he forms his own opinions so this means he’s open to experimenting with the occasional cigarette and joint just to see if he would actually enjoy it, though it’s not exactly something he would see himself indulging in. He has his limits though he’d never think about trying stuff like hard drugs cause he’s smart enough to know what a major effect it has on your life. Generally he finds stuff like drinking and partying rather trivial, but he will participate when his friends are doing it just to have some fun. It could be written off as peer pressure that he tends to fall for from time to time. With his parents being so academically strict and conservative because of their religious morals he does have a need to rebel, though he hardly ever acts out on it cause he’s not in the mood for whatever repercussions it has in store afterwards though that doesn’t stop him from doing what he wants, its just a matter of how well can he get away with it which can also be a problem considering he’s not a very good liar and his conscious gets the best of him. He loves like a man scorned. He’ll be friendly with you and treat you like an acquaintance in the beginning, but if you manage to work yourself in to an important role in his life he would become a lot more emotionally invested in you and can get kind of clingy. He’s not a very cuddly person either, but if you’re family or a very good friend he’ll hug you. Just don’t touch his hair that’s reserved for extra special people and his mom.            

Extra info:

Major soft spot for small dogs like Pugs, Corgis and Boston Terriers

Dog person and would love to own one, but Ike is incredibly allergic to animal dandruff.

His aesthetic consists out of rainy days, the smell of coffee and a giant wool blanket.

His nails are like a pretty big deal, Always clean and trimmed.

When he’s not reading he’s on youtube looking up “10 best scenes from the movie ‘Mean Girls’”

His height makes him look very intimidating, but in reality he’s kind of a teddy bear. Just don’t piss him off if you know what’s good for you.

Has reading glasses, but never actually wears them

Proud collector of interesting socks

Favourite friend’s character is Rachael

Character peeve’s:

When people don’t put the lid back on to the toothpaste

People who pee with the bathroom door open

When his family barges in to his room and don’t close the door behind them when they leave

Cartman

[lesbeet]

this might be a strange question but what goes into becoming a teacher? i've been thinking about becoming a teacher and i'm nervous even though it's something i really think i want to do and i'm curious as to how you go about becoming one like what courses/requirements do you need to take and how do you come up with a lesson plan and everything? and how did you know teaching was something you wanted to do or realize it was something you would be good at?

hm well i can only tell you about my own experience, which i would say is probably pretty unorthodox, but it’s been working really well for me! 

so i’ve been working on a masters in teaching for english/language arts grades 5-12 from western governors university, which is an (accredited) online program for aspiring teachers who need to be licensed as teachers in general as well as certified/endorsed in their particular subject areas. depending on what you want to teach, there are a couple of undergrad teaching degrees they offer (i believe it’s elementary ed, special ed, and a couple of different math and science programs), but to do like language arts or social studies etc, you’d need to have a bachelors degree to qualify -- though i also did my bachelors at wgu (in business management sdklfdjskdflsjd i hated it) so it doesnt need to be education-related or anything

if you wanna know more about my particular program let me know, bc it works fairly unusually but is a legitimate post-secondary educational institution and is also incredibly affordable, and idk what i’d be doing if i hadnt found out that it existed lmao

but so yeah idk what an education undergrad would consist of, but for my program in particular there were a lot of english content classes, obviously, like secondary disciplinary literacy, english pedagogy, secondary reading instruction and interventions, stuff like that

and then there were a lot of more generalized pedagogical courses, like educational assessment, foundational perspectives of education, classroom management, fundamentals of diversity and inclusion, principles of psychology: child and adolescent development, and stuff like that

again, this is just based on my own experience, but re: lesson plans, i actually just had some assignments for my courses where i had to write them and justify the thought process behind the decisions i made! like in my english pedagogy course, i had to write 3 essays (one for a literature-based lesson, one for a grammar-based lesson, and one for a writing-based lesson), and in each essay there was a section where i had to plan an entire lesson using their lesson plan format, and then explain and justify why i made each choice that i made. 

i’m starting student-teaching next semester, as soon as we get back from winter break, and i assume i’ll get more practice with lesson-planning through that, but basically it kind of comes down to like...figuring out the standards your students are supposed to reach, then figuring out how you’re going to break them down into a curriculum, and then for each lesson you figure out what objectives/goals you want your students to reach by the end, and you figure out how to present the material and then assess in some way whether or not the students understand it. once you know what the purpose of a lesson plan is (whether re: the idea of lesson plans in general, or a specific lesson plan you’re working on), the rest is just figuring out how to achieve that purpose. and it comes with practice! and trial and error, and figuring out what works and doesnt work with your own teaching style and in your classroom, etc. ik that’s super vague but so much of it depends of the parameters you’re given—like while i’m student-teaching i won’t be picking the books we read, so i’ll already have that requirement figured out for me, yknow?

as for your last question, my mom has been teaching my whole life, and my dad started teaching when i was about 10. my aunt is also a teacher, and my other aunt is a speech-language pathologist, so. i grew up around teachers kfjsldkfjs

i’ve just always liked explaining things to people and helping them understand them! i think really what it comes down to is that i just have a lot of passion and a lot of things to say sldfksjdkflj like i really do believe that english/language arts in particular is applicable in all parts of life, because all people communicate. i can’t speak for like. calculus or biology or whatever, but 99.9999% of people will need to do some sort of reading, and some sort of writing and/or speaking and/or communication of some type or another, and for all of the “the curtains are just blue!!!” whiners out there, it’s crucial to know how to communicate with others, and to understand what others are attempting to communicate to you, and i can’t think of a single scenario in which that isn’t the case. 

plus like, idk a single person who doesn’t like some form of story, whether through tv shows or movies or books or plays or podcasts or video games etc etc etc, and imo those can all be enhanced and made even better by having some sort of background knowledge of storytelling as an art, or as a process, or as an established medium with its own structures and intertextual lexicon etc! like the more i read about the art and history of storytelling, the more i enjoy movies and tv shows (which i already love and watch frequently), bc storytelling isn’t just a textual medium!

tbh part of the reason i think i’m good at explaining things is because i grew up in an emotionally abusive household, and i learned very early on how to anticipate the way another person (usually my dad lol) would interpret something i said to him, regardless of what i actually meant by it. so i subconsciously learned to apply that skill to other people, and now i’ve got sort of a knack for being able to cater my explanations to different people based on how i think they’ll best understand the information, and not just in a classroom setting—like i sometimes serve as a mediator/”interpreter” when my sister and my dad are having difficult conversations, because i know them both well enough, and the way they think well enough, that when one of them says something, i can usually understand both their intention AND how the other person is going to interpret it, and i can rephrase or explain things so miscommunication doesn’t end up making the problem worse

so in a classroom, i can explain things in several different ways, and if i’m working one-on-one with different kids i can usually figure out what isn’t clicking and can try another way to explain it. also bc my adhd brain processes information by making connections to other things i already know, i’m particularly good at coming up with (often unusual) metaphors or analogies for things, and people are like “oh wow ok that’s a weird way to explain it but i definitely get it now” and stuff

so basically i’ve learned bc of necessity how to communicate more effectively with others, and because i want everyone else to get the enjoyment out of language arts that i do, i’m drawn to teaching because i hope to help the students find at least some area of it that they’re interested in, and to show them that literature/storytelling/communication aren’t just about reading old boring books written by racist white dudes who hated women, but about learning to represent and interpret and take part in the human experience, because the foundation of any sort of society is communication, and that very basic desire to be understood by others

so even when i didnt actively Want To Be A Teacher it was always kinda in the back of my mind like “well if i dont find anything else i wanna do, i can always be an english teacher” bc most of my favorite teachers growing up were english teachers, and even at my absolute worst i did just fine in those classes, even when i hadnt read the books we were discussing (which was most of the time jsdklfsjd which is now kind of a problem for me as a teacher so i do think i shot myself in the foot there but oh well, i was 14)

anyway, as usual that got super long, but i hope it was helpful! lemme know if you have any other questions :)