#but i felt like this was getting really long lol

[jinhyun]

—lost in translation.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: a little angst, fluff, best friend’s little brother au, friends to lovers, pininggggg, miscommunication (gone right?)

word count: 5.2k

summary: hyunjin needed answers and he needed them now. even if it meant showing up at your place late at night with a few drinks in his system, ready for things to go either terribly wrong or incredibly right.

warnings: miscommunication, mentions of alcohol and drinking

author’s note: hellooo, and thank you so much for being so patient<3 this is part 23 of my social media au “heart out”. part 24 will be written as well, so don’t worry if there were a few things left unsaid in this one lol. as always, i hope you guys enjoy! if you do, please don’t forget to leave an ask or a comment telling me your thoughts on it<3

Hyunjin was usually a very chill and spontaneous person. He did things when he felt like it, without really giving it much thought. If he wanted to do something and it felt right, then why would he hold back? He could always deal with the consequences of his own actions later.

When it came to you, however, he was the complete opposite.

Ever since he met you, he had been tiptoeing his way around your heart.

He wanted to do things right when it came to you, and, as a result, his interactions with you throughout the years tended to end up with him overthinking instead of doing.

Starting with him hiding his feelings and keeping his interactions with you to the minimum when he was still a high schooler, to him still hiding his feelings while trying to get closer to you when he entered university, to then still say nothing about them when you started dating Mingyu, up until now, that he finally got another shot at getting close to you, yet he still refused to confess his feelings until you were ready to hear it.

And that was the thing, if it were up to him and acting accordingly to how he felt in the moment, he would’ve confessed a long time ago — probably back in his first year of university, particularly when he found out you and Mingyu were dating and he felt like calling you up and letting it all out. But he wouldn’t, because although it would be a huge weight to get off his shoulders, he wouldn’t want you to deal with the burden of knowing he loved you when you didn’t love him back; not like that, at least.

He wouldn’t confess, because he didn’t want you to feel bad for not being there just yet, if ever.

He didn’t want to ruin what the two of you had because of a whim, and so he decided to deal with his feelings on his own. Until he knew for sure that you were ready to hear a confession from him, he wouldn’t say the words out loud to you.

Of course, that was up until this evening.

After coming to the conclusion that Dahye had followed her word and told you about his feelings for you, and having you distance yourself from him ever since, which could only mean you didn’t feel the same and were preparing to turn him down; and, furthermore, after hearing from Yeji that you wouldn’t mind going out with her twenty three year old coworker once you were ready to date again, there was no room in his head for him to think of the consequences of confessing to you anymore.

If you were turning him down anyway, if you were going out with someone else anyway… if he was losing you anyway, then what did he have to lose by finally letting you know how deeply he felt for you?

Maybe it was the alcohol he’d been consuming with his friends that night, or maybe it was just him simply not giving a fuck anymore — maybe both.

Whatever it was, it was giving him the final push he needed, for he was now standing outside your building, ignoring the freezing breeze of the night —as the black cotton sportswear he was wearing did little to nothing to keep him warm—, while he desperately texted you in hopes of you being awake and letting him come up, so you would finally get to talk and turn him down if that’s what you wanted to do in the end.

If you were turning him down at one point in the next two days, he would rather have you do it now.

He felt like he was going insane; like no matter what the outcome was, whether you turned him down or not, he would collapse if he didn’t get an answer within the next few minutes.

When you wouldn’t answer his texts and there were no signs of you being online, he decided to call you instead. He wasn’t giving up that easily that night, if at all.

It only took one missed call and ten more seconds waiting on the line for you to pick up.

“Hyunie?” Your sleepy yet worried voice was enough to quiet his running thoughts down. “Something happened? Are you alright?”

He stayed silent for a moment, staring up at your window.

“Hyunie?” You repeated. He heard you shift in your bed, and then he saw the light in your room turn on. “Are you there?”

��Can I come up?” He asked quietly.

Silence filled the line for a moment. “What?”

“I texted you… I think you didn’t see it” he explained. “I’m outside your building. Can I please come up? I know it’s late, but I need to talk to you now”.

“Y-Yeah… of course” you failed to hide how taken aback you were. “Help yourself in”.

“Okay…”

Hanging up, his eyes went to the front door to your building, and he suddenly felt the weight of what was about to come on his shoulders. But he was already here, and even if he turned around and went home instead, he knew he would not be able to sleep for the second night in a row as long as he didn’t clear things up with you.

He was already here and you were waiting for him upstairs, so he might as well rushed up to you.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Entering the passcode he knew by heart, he made his way into your place; taking off his shoes and putting on the slippers you kept by the door for your guests, which he knew were pretty much his by now.

As expected, all the lights were out except from the one in your bedroom, where he caught you coming out from.

He would never get tired of seeing you barefaced; and the slightly messy hair you were running your fingers through in a quick attempt to fix, along with the pastel pink silk pyjamas you were wearing, could only make him adore you even more. However, you looked tired, and he couldn’t help but feel bad for waking you up.

“Hey” he mumbled, suddenly feeling the madness inside his head calm down at the mere sight of you.

“Hey…” you softly greeted him back, leaning against your doorframe and resting your head on it. “Did something happen?”

He denied with his head, coming closer to you. “Just couldn’t wait anymore to talk to you, I’m sorry”.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, slightly frowning when you got a closer look at him. “Have you been drinking?”

A small, surprised pout formed on his lips. What gave it away? His eyes? Was he reeking of alcohol? Or did you know him so well that a simple look at him was enough for you to tell when something was off?

“Just had a few drinks with the boys, it’s nothing” he brushed it off.

“You didn’t drive here, did you?”

“No, of course not” he was the one to frown this time. “I’m fine, though”.

You said nothing, but he caught the hesitation in your eyes.

“I’m fine, Y/N” he reassured you one last time. “I didn’t drink that much anyway”.

Just enough for his inhibitions to shut down; not enough not to realise what he was doing.

“Okay…” you decided to believe him.

With a light tilt of your head, you invited him into your room, where the lightning was better — although the dim light coming from the white lamp on your nightstand could only make him feel sleepier.

You sat down on the edge of your unmade bed, as you’d been sleeping up until he called you, and motioned for him to do the same. Once he did, silence was fast to take over.

“Um… I’m not—I wasn’t really prepared to talk about this now,” you messily tried to come up with the right way to approach the issue. “So I don’t know where to begin, if I’m honest…”

He understood what you were feeling perfectly. In all honesty, although he had come all the way over here to get the answer he so badly needed, he, too, didn’t know where to begin.

There was so much to say, so much to ask, so many ways to word his questions, that his mind went blank.

So, he said the first thing he could think of right then.

“Dahye told you, didn’t she?”

You looked distressed at the mention of her, and that was enough for him to get the answer he was dreading. “Sorry?”

“She talked to you?” He rephrased it.

“Mhm…” you nodded, looking down to your lap. “She did”.

“And is that why you’ve been so distant?” Hyunjin asked carefully.

You nodded again, silently. “I’m sorry, I just needed some time to think” your eyes went back up to lock with his. “How’d you know she talked to me?”

“She kinda threatened me with telling you, so…” he rolled his eyes.

“Oh… that’s…”

Crazy. She was crazy.

Hyunjin nodded, not needing to hear any words coming out of your mouth to understand what you wanted to say. “I know. I should learn not to underestimate her”.

“Yeah, I probably should, too…” you smiled weakly. “Good thing I realised something was off and didn’t believe her in the end”.

“Wait, what?” His eyebrows furrowed.

Something was off? You didn’t believe her?

“I didn’t believe her,” you repeated. “I was a bit shaken up at first, and that’s why I took some distance from you. I just needed to think about it with a cold head, but all along I didn’t want to believe it was true, so ultimately I didn’t. It didn’t sound like you at all”.

Was he tripping? Was he really way more drunk than he thought for your words to make no sense to him?

“You didn’t… want to?” Hyunjin’s heart ached, mostly hung up on those words of yours. “Would it be that bad if it was true?”

“Yes,” you replied in a heartbeat. “I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t be able to let myself fall for you if that was the case, Hyunjin”.

I wouldn’t be able to let myself fall for you if Dahye will always be there and I knew you’d go back to her whenever you get tired of me; is what you meant.

It would be bad if it was true that you’re in love with me, because I wouldn’t be able to let myself fall for you and ever love you back; is what he heard.

Just like that, for the fourth time in his life, once again because of you, his heart broke.

Although he’d come here knowing well enough that getting turned down by you was a very high possibility, actually hearing you so tactlessly say those words to him right then, and getting every chance of ever being with you crushed into pieces just like that, had his heart hurting in a way it had never before.

Feeling physically ill and finding it hard to breathe, he stood up, pacing around your room for a few seconds before he looked for support on the wall by leaning his back on it.

This might’ve been his worst heartbreak yet, for unlike the previous times, he’d let himself be led on. This time, he really thought that there was something going on between the two of you. All the reciprocated flirting and touches… had it all been him? Did you really not realise what you’d been doing to him all along?

“Hyunie…” you whispered, feeling your own heart break at the sight of him and going up to him, unable to give into your own sorrow as he seemed to have just confirmed that what Dahye told you was indeed true.

He closed his eyes as he tilted his head up to keep the tears from coming out of them.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

He defeatedly shook his head when you placed your hand on his shoulder, rubbing his hands on his eyes to wipe the oncoming tears before he tried to walk away. “I’m sorry, this wasn’t a good—I can’t, I should leave” he apologised.

“So it’s true then?” You asked, grabbing his wrist for him to stay.

He shook his head no, and for just a moment there you felt relief, before he finally turned around and looked at you with reddened eyes. “Of course it’s true” his bottom lip trembled. “Why wouldn’t it be? Did I really get it all wrong?”

Your eyebrows knitted together, understanding this entire situation less and less by the second. “Get what wrong?”

“This,” he repeatedly pointed his finger from you to him. “Us. Whatever it is that I thought was going on between us”.

“Hyunjin…”

“I knew I was getting my hopes up too fast, but I thought,” he paused for a moment, shaking his head in disbelief over his own delusions. “All this time I thought what kept holding you back was our age gap, but turns out the problem was never my age, but me”.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’d be willing to go out with that one other guy who’s also my age, so it was clearly never the problem”.

“What guy?”

“You know what guy”.

“Felix?” You pinpointed, not really knowing any other guys his age. Not like you particularly knew Felix either anyway. “I’m not going out with him”.

“You said you wouldn’t mind him being twenty three, though”.

“Because I don’t care about age, not because I want to date him” you tried to defend yourself. “Weren’t you the one who told me to consider dating younger guys?”

“Exactly, I told you that. Me. I said it so you would at some point consider me, not so you would start looking at other guys my age” he clarified.

“Hyunjin, I’m not—Why does age suddenly matter so much to you?”

“Because if you’re willing to date a guy who’s three years younger than you, then why can’t it be me?!”

You froze.

During all the years you had known him, you had never seen him lose his temper. He was always calm, rational. Had he ever even raised his voice in your presence other than when he got excited about something?

This was a side of him you’d never seen before, and it broke you.

Seeing him look so hopeless and sound so defeated right then, made you feel like holding him and never let go of him.

Things were moving too fast, though, and when you wanted to reach for his face and wipe the tear that had just rolled down one of his cheeks, he beat you to it; harshly wiping his face with his hands, as he refused to look away from you.

“All this time I’ve done nothing but pour my heart out to you. I’m so… so fucking in love with you it hurts me, Y/N. There are times when it physically pains me to love you this much,” he confessed.

Right now, it was one of those times.

“I’ve done everything in my hands for you to stop seeing me like the teenage boy you met back then, for you to stop seeing me just like Yeji’s little brother, and I know you’re not ready for a relationship yet, but I was willing to wait for as long as you needed me to until you were, because I was delusional enough to believe that I could actually make you fall for me” a breathless, humorless laugh abandoned his lips. “And now it turns out you just won’t ever feel the way I feel for you, and this guy shows up out of nowhere and gets everything I’ve tried to get from you right away without even moving a finger, and I just… I don’t know where to go from here”.

Your heart squeezed inside your chest.

Of all the things you were expecting as the outcome of your talk, a confession wasn’t one of them. Not this kind of confession, at least.

You were speechless. Not only did you not know what to say, but even if you did, you were sure your voice would betray you by not coming out when you opened your mouth.

Hyunjin loved you.

It wasn’t just a crush like you thought. It wasn’t him looking for something casual like you feared. No, he loved you. He was serious about you.

Why did you feel so happy yet so afraid about his feelings for you being so strong?

He took a step towards you, and you felt your heartbeat raise when his face was only a couple of inches away from yours and his breathing began to mix with yours.

“I don’t wanna give up on you, Y/N, I don’t. But I just don’t kn—What do I have to do for you to consider me?” He asked, pulling you closer by your waist. “What does he have that I don’t?”

“I’m not going out with him, Hyunjin” you repeated in a whisper, hoping this time he would believe you.

Whether he believed you or not, he leaned in closer, faintly brushing his nose with yours. “What do I have to do for you to give me a chance then?”

“Hyun…”

“I’ll do anything,” he said, cupping your face and making you lock eyes with him. “Just tell me what and I’ll do it”.

You slowly shook your head no, unable to get any kind of word out of your mouth. Was it not obvious enough already that you did feel something for him? Had the way you talked to him and how you acted around him not been enough for him to get that you liked him as something more than just a friend? As way more than just your best friend’s brother?

You couldn’t find the right words to tell him that. The only thing you could do was to stare into his eyes, and then down into his lips, feeling the tension between the two of you grow by the second.

Hyunjin caught up on that immediately, leaning closer, so he could brush his mouth on yours for a second, before he closed the gap that kept them from touching.

Only you beat him to it.

Had you waited one more second, he would’ve been the one to press his lips on yours.

But you did not.

Instead, you were the one to press your mouth on his.

You were the one to kiss him first.

You were kissing him.

And he froze.

His right hand was still cupping your face, his left one remained on your waist, and his eyes had naturally closed the moment he felt the heavenly pressure of your lips on his. But he froze nevertheless.

For the first few seconds, he was too stunned, too overwhelmed —in the best way possible— to even react. And, unfortunately, a few seconds was all the kiss lasted; for he missed your touch right when he was about to kiss you back.

“I’m sorry” you apologised right as you pulled away and covered your mouth with your hands, as if only then coming to your senses. “Hyunie, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t—”

That was as much as you got to say, for in a second he had already removed your hands from your mouth and replaced them with his lips.

You’d be damned if you thought you could get away with letting him get a taste of your lips only to deprive him of you all over again.

You kissed him back right away, going against your poorly attempted apology, and driving him crazy when you wrapped your arms over his shoulders. His hands that had been previously cupping your face were now on your waist, pulling you closer to his body as he tried to feel you as close to him as he could.

He kissed you like he needed you, like he’d been deprived of you for decades and was only now allowed to get a taste of you; and yet, he managed to be so gentle that you were left craving more by the second, whilst wanting him to kiss you just like that for a little longer.

After all, you didn’t know he had been dreaming of this moment for nearly seven years now.

Just like you, he, too, started wanting more. Pulling your hips harder against his and getting a small gasp of yours to part your lips, he took the chance to delve his tongue in your mouth — unable to keep the corners of his lips from curving slightly up when he felt your tongue massage his right back.

With your breathings becoming heavier, and without even dreaming of letting go of your lips just yet, Hyunjin made you take a couple of steps back, until your legs reached your bed and you instinctively sat down on it, allowing him to lean over you as he followed your mouth.

“You’re drunk…” you managed to whisper, right after you laid back on the mattress and his mouth sucked on your bottom lip once more.

“I’m fine, I’m fin—I’m perfect” he whispered in between kisses.

He was perfect. Being with you like this, with him hovering over you while your fingers gently dug into his hair and your mouths so deliciously sucked on each other, he could not be anything other than perfect.

Kissing you felt like a dream, and a part of him was afraid that it was one.

“No, Hyunjin…” you mumbled, only a couple of seconds later. “We shouldn’t be doing this…”

“Why not?” He asked, pulling slightly away from you — not enough for your lips to stop brushing.

“I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now” you confessed what his sister had told him earlier that night and, therefore, what he already knew. “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have kissed you”.

“No, don’t be sorry for kissing me. Anything but that, Y/N. You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted to kiss you all this time” he tenderly ran his thumb up and down on your cheekbone. “I can wait until you’re ready. Starting tomorrow morning I’ll wait all you need me to, but right now just… let me kiss you for a little longer”.

Having him whisper those words when his mouth was faintly touching yours, could only make you feel yourself give in to his plea.

“Hm?” He asked, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb. “One more and I’ll stop”.

Unable to speak, as it seemed to be the norm that night, you closed your eyes; and that was enough for him to take the hint and replace the thumb on your bottom lip with his mouth, sweetly sucking on it before he softly traced it with his tongue, for you to let him in and meet him midway.

The desperation of your second kiss was no longer there, as he now took his time to engrave in his memory every single second of your mouth sucking on his and your tongue massaging his own. He didn’t know when he would ever get to kiss you again, after all, and he wanted to take in as much as he could of it.

He wanted to take his time now; and kiss you slowly, deeply, lovingly.

When you were both left panting for air, he rested his forehead on yours, cupping your nape with his hand and digging his fingers in your hair before he hid his face in the crook of your neck, as a breathy laugh abandoned his mouth.

“You’re driving me crazy” he confessed.

“I should be the one saying that,” you chuckled rather sadly. “I don’t know what you’re doing to me anymore, Hyunjin…”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re confusing me so much right now. You say you love me and you make me feel so special, but then you go and…” you sighed, feeling him slowly withdraw his face from your neck as he tried to understand your point. “I wish it was that easy, but I can’t let myself fall for you now that I know what Dahye said is true”.

“I swear you’re making me question how much I actually drank, because that doesn’t make any sense and—You can’t do this to me, Y/N” his piercing eyes fixed on yours, and the way his voice sounded so calm now could only make your body tense up under him. “You can’t just kiss me and then tell me that…” he sighed, attempting to collect his thoughts. “If you don’t feel ready for a relationship I get it, and I’ll wait. I’ll wait for as long as you need me to, baby, that’s never been a problem. But you can’t just tell me that you’ll never love me back and then kiss me only to turn m—”

“When did I ever say I’d never love you back?” You questioned.

“When we were talking earlier?” He tilted his head in confusion. “I asked you if it would be so bad if what Dahye told you was true and you said yes”.

“Yes,” you agreed. “Because I can’t put myself through the hell your messy relationship with her would bring me”.

His eyebrows knitted together. “What messy relationship?”

“You know…” you avoided his eyes, only then being hit with how much the thought of him with someone else actually affected you. “This whole ‘fuck buddies’ thing and you going back to her no matter who you are with”.

“That’s ridiculous” he blurted out, almost offended that such an atrocity had just left your mouth. “Where did you even get that from?”

“That’s what Dahye told me” you said.

“That’s what…” the puzzle pieces finally connected in his head. “Is that why you said you wouldn’t be able to fall for me?”

“Yes?” You tilted your head questioningly. “Isn’t that what we were talking about all along?”

He should be mad at Dahye right then. He should want to scream at her for playing with the two of you like this.

Any other time, he would’ve been fuming. Right then, however, with your troubled expression as you didn’t get what was going on, with your pretty lips all swollen from how hard he’d been kissing you up until a minute ago, and having experienced such a wide range of emotions in a matter of minutes, he could only laugh.

Tilting his head back and letting a throaty laugh escape his mouth, he slumped back next to you on your mattress and covered his face with both hands, as he let his laughter take over him.

Nervousness, madness, embarrassment, relief, happiness; it was all mixed up into one loud, painful laughing fit.

He felt like a maniac, feeling you stare at him in worry and obliviousness, but he couldn’t find it in him to stop laughing.

“What’s so funny?” You wondered when he struggled to catch his breath.

“She lied” he explained, finally feeling like his laughter was coming to an end.

“She lied?”

“She lied” he confirmed, removing his hands from his face and wiping a couple of tears off his eyes before he locked them with you. “I don’t like her at all, Y/N. We hardly ever even talk, why would I—” he took in a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling as he felt like he was going crazy. “Can’t believe I cried for nothing”.

You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your mouth, both over his last remark and over how relieved you felt to know it was all a misunderstanding, and that you had been right not to believe her in the first place.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t clear enough” you pouted, gently cupping his face when he turned to you.

He shook his head no, letting you know it was okay as he placed his hand on yours. “I didn’t specify either, so I was at fault, too” he smiled softly. “And we probably wouldn’t have ended up kissing if I hadn’t gotten so heated up anyway, so it was totally worth it”.

“You’re an idiot” you laughed once again, smiling when he leaned in and rested his forehead on yours.

“You still kissed me, though” he pointed out, bringing some heat to your cheeks. “Does that mean I actually have a chance now?”

“Was me kissing you not a good enough answer to that?”

“Kisses can mean nothing to some people, so…”

“I’m not one of those people, Hyunie” you let him know.

“Good,” he smiled, pulling you to his chest. “Because kissing you meant everything to me”.

You wrapped an arm around him, nuzzling the fabric of the black sweatshirt he was wearing and taking in his scent you loved so much.

“Shouldn’t we properly talk about what Dahye told us?” You mumbled.

“That, and about where we’re standing now, too” he agreed, sweetly tracing his fingertips up and down your back. “My head hurts now, though. I feel like I’m spiraling, I went through too many emotions in too little time”.

You giggled, looking up at him. “You want to continue this conversation tomorrow? When we’re both a little less overwhelmed?”

“Yeah…” he nodded. “I can sleep peacefully now that I know you feel something for me, too”.

You chuckled, making his bottom lip stick out in confusion when you pulled away from him and sat up on your bed. “It’s late, you can sleep here tonight. I’ll take the couch”.

He grabbed your wrist before you could get up. “Stay with me?”

“Hyun…” you hesitated.

“I won’t try anything, I promise” he was fast to say, well aware of where your hesitation was coming from. “Just need to feel you close tonight”.

If he was honest, any other time, he would’ve offered to take the couch and that would’ve been the end of it, but tonight he really needed your closeness. He needed to know you were there, to feel you next to him. And, thankfully for him, you needed just the same.

Silently motioning for him to get under the covers, you let him know you agreed to his request. He smiled widely, pressing a lingering kiss to your cheek before he did as told — making you laugh wholeheartedly when you got under the sheets as well and he wasted no time to pull you to his chest again and to tuck you in with him.

This entire day had been a mess. Hell, the whole fucking week had been unbearable. But you had been able to talk it out at last. Although messily, you now seemed to be on the same page about everything; from your feelings, to what you were looking for, to where the whole misunderstanding had originated.

This may not have been the conversation the two of you were expecting to have, but it was coming soon enough. Tonight, you could just go to sleep in each other’s arms, knowing what each other’s lips felt and tasted like, and with the certainty that your feelings were reciprocated.

Neither of you would have it any other way.

tag list: @jehhskz @iknowyouknowminho @doohnut @saintcosette @lailac13 @kayleefriedchicken @rikibun @yongbokkiesworld @seungzsmin @beautifulcolorgarden @hyunetopia @velvetmoonlght @automaticpersonabatpaper @httpdwaekki @brinnalaine @wondering-out-loud @feelikecinderella @nujeskz @amarecerasus @liknws @nhyunn @midsoulz @tirena1 @tinyelfperson @thatonexcgirl @iovecb97 @hynier @phenomenalgirl9 @your-favorite-pirate @jin-from-the-block @yearofthetiger25 @quokkacidal @stayconnecteed @kwanisms @yoonguurt @143hyunes @iiriam @cookielixie @hyunlvrs @allyrarara @machaandlofi @mehli-00 @justiceforvillains @minhosprettywife @whats-my-question @armystay89 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hyeon-yi @skzstannie @onlyhyunjin

[mmso-notlikethat]

fic prompt! Since I just landed on a flight home, how about Buck and Tommy fly somewhere and this is the time that Buck gets to really see Tommy being a nerd about flying, even if he's not flying the plane himself. If it sparks joy. 😊

Sarah i know i'm so late, but I've been thinking about this since you sent it.. finally, an idea came by lol (hope you like it 🥰)

Buck was mid-ramble about the aerodynamics of commercial planes—something he'd picked up during a late-night internet deep dive before their trip—when he paused, noticing Tommy sitting rigidly beside him.

Tommy’s hand gripped the armrest tightly, his fingers tapping an uneven rhythm as though he couldn’t quite keep them still. His jaw was set, lips pressed into a thin line, and his gaze flickered back and forth between the window and the seat in front of him.

“You okay?” Buck asked, tilting his head toward him.

“Yeah, fine,” Tommy replied quickly, his voice clipped. His eyes didn’t meet Buck’s, and his grip on the armrest tightened slightly as the plane jolted, turning onto the main runway.

Buck didn’t press him. Instead, he shifted in his seat, leaning just a little closer.

As the plane accelerated for takeoff, Tommy exhaled sharply, his foot bouncing lightly against the floor. His fingers tapped the armrest before curling tightly, knuckles pale. His breathing was shallow—measured, as if keeping himself in check. Buck noticed without a word, his gaze flicking briefly to Tommy’s hand before sliding his own over it. His thumb brushed lightly against Tommy’s wrist, a quiet reassurance.

Tommy didn’t react at first, but then Buck shifted his hand, gently coaxing Tommy’s fingers to relax. Tommy hesitated, glancing at Buck out of the corner of his eye, but the tension in his grip eased. Slowly, almost shyly, his fingers relaxing enough for Buck to intertwine them with his own.

Buck didn’t say anything, didn’t even glance at him, just kept talking about the mechanics of lift-off as though nothing was out of the ordinary. His voice was steady and warm, grounding in a way that pulled Tommy’s focus from the roaring engines and the tilt of the plane as it left the ground.

Tommy’s grip tightened briefly around Buck’s hand, but this time it wasn’t out of nervousness—it was something quieter, steadier. Buck’s faint smile grew as he felt the shift, his thumb brushing lightly along the side of Tommy’s hand.

By the time the plane leveled out, Tommy had regained his composure. His usual confidence returned, and Buck could see it in the way he subtly shifted in his seat, reclaiming his space.

And their fingers stayed intertwined, neither of them letting go.

“Sorry about that,” Tommy muttered, finally looking at Buck. “Guess I do not like flying unless I’m the one in control.”

Buck shrugged, giving him an easy grin. “Makes sense. You’re used to being the guy behind the stick. Kind of weird to trust someone else to do the job.”

Tommy let out a soft laugh, nodding. “Exactly.”

Buck leaned closer, his eyes lighting up. “But you’ve got to admit, it’s kind of amazing to just sit back and think about how all this works. I mean, did you know that commercial planes—”

“—can fly even if one engine goes out?” Tommy interrupted; his tone slightly smug. He gave Buck a sidelong glance, his lips twitching into a grin. “Come on, Evan. I’ve been flying helicopters long enough to know a thing or two about rotors and wings—definitely more than you.”

Buck feigned offense, his hand still resting lightly in Tommy’s. “First of all, rude. Second of all, helicopters are completely different from planes. And third, this is my thing. You don’t get to outdo me in rambling about cool stuff.”

Tommy chuckled, leaning his head back against the seat. “Fine. You get this one. But only because I already know all the facts.”

“Oh, do you?” Buck shot back, leaning forward in challenge.

Tommy’s face lit up in a way Buck rarely saw. “Okay, look, I’ll give you this,” Tommy began, his tone shifting into the cadence of someone who truly loved what they were talking about. “Planes are efficient and all, but helicopters? They’re the real magic. Think about it—rotor blades generate lift, but they’re also responsible for propulsion. You’re balancing pitch, yaw, and roll all at the same time. It’s like juggling while standing on a tightrope during a windstorm.”

Tommy kept going, now diving into the mechanics of different flight systems and the nuances between military and civilian helicopters. “And then there’s autorotation recovery—people think it’s impossible, but if you’ve got the skill and focus—”

He suddenly trailed off, catching Buck’s gaze. Buck was staring at him, eyes twinkling and a soft smile curling his lips.

Tommy froze, blinking. “What?”

“What what?” Buck asked, his smile widening innocently.

Tommy’s cheeks turned pink. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Buck chuckled. “Nothing, I’m just listening.”

“Oh…” Tommy hesitated, his blush deepening. “Uh, yeah. Sorry.”

“Sorry? No, I like it. Come on, tell me more!” Buck urged, grinning. “But also, don’t be so biased about helicopters. I also need to know more about planes in general!”

Tommy’s lips twitched into a bashful smile before he nodded, launching back into his explanation with renewed enthusiasm. He gestured with his hands as he spoke, describing the differences in flight dynamics between fixed-wing and rotary-wing aircraft, his voice growing more animated with each passing second.

Buck watched him, mesmerized by the way Tommy’s eyes lit up, the way his hands moved as though he could hardly contain his excitement. Finally, Buck raised a hand, halting Tommy mid-sentence.

“Wait a minute,” Buck said, leaning in. Before Tommy could ask why, Buck kissed him—a brief, warm press of lips that left Tommy blinking in surprise.

Buck pulled back just enough to grin at him. “I might be starting to understand why you never stop me when I ramble.”

Tommy’s smile grew, wide and unrestrained, and before Buck could say another word, Tommy leaned in and kissed him again—a quick, joyful press of lips that made Buck’s heart flip.

When Tommy pulled back, his voice was soft and full of warmth. “I love you.”

Buck blinked, his grin spreading even wider. And he said in a mock-surprise “You do?”

Tommy rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth tugged upward despite himself.

“Just making sure,” Buck teased, his tone light, as if he wasn’t already beaming. “Because I love you too.”

Tommy let out a laugh and without thinking, he brought their intertwined hands up, pressing a quick kiss to the back of Buck’s hand. The small gesture made Buck’s heart skip, but before he could say anything, Tommy leaned back, his grin turning playful. “Okay, so… does this mean I get to win the argument about helicopters being better?”

“Absolutely not,” Buck said, laughing as he bumped his shoulder against Tommy’s. “But I’ll let you try and convince me.”

He glanced at Buck, hesitant for a beat, then took a breath and continued where he left off. “Okay, fine. But since you’re so determined to make this a debate, let me explain why helicopters still have the edge—”

Buck interrupted with a mock groan, throwing his head back. “Oh, here we go again.”

Tommy just laughed, a bright, happy sound that filled the small space between them, and Buck couldn’t help but think that this—this—was his favorite sound in the world.

[rosenclaws]

Would you Fall in Love with Me Again (Alternate) || Worst!Logan x Reader

I will fall in love with you over and over again I don't care how, where, or when No matter how long it's been, you're mine

warnings: angst to fluff, description of violence, Wade being wade, he calls you princess

wc: 2.5k

a/n: This is the alternate plot to the other fic I wrote of the same name. You can find that here! I just really liked both plots and I think this turned out pretty good :) This is also 1k words more than the other one idk what happened there lol

Logan was having a really shitty day. All he wanted was to get drunk but some asshole in red spandex decided to come and ruin his day. Now he's sitting in someone's fucking hideout with no hope of getting out of this hell hole. At least there's booze here.

"You always take shit that doesn't belong to you?" He growls as he takes another chug.

"Fuck off." He turns to berate the unknown voice but stops dead in his tracks.

He sobers up real fucking quick as he takes in the figure before him. Without thinking your name slips from his lips. It feels so foreign coming from him. He hasn't said your name in years.

"Logan?" You take a step forward, could this really be him? No...I can't.

Your Logan would never be caught dead in that uniform. He refused to wear it, no matter how much you begged him to wear it. But this man, he just felt so familiar.

“Thor!” Your attention snaps to the other man in red.

As the commotion begins you slip back into the shadows. You don’t bother to listen to whatever nonsense is coming from the guy in red. Laura brought them here.

You knew she had a Logan, just like you. Except her Logan died. You didn’t know he could. It made you think about your Logan. They sounded pretty similar. Mean, angry, drunk. But had that softer side almost no one else saw but a select few. Your eyes land on the Wolverine standing by Red.

He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you. Maybe this was him. You want it to be him, but that little glimmer of hope refuses to shine. What if its not. You can’t lose him again. You think back to that night. That awful night.

He was going off to the bars again and you all asked him to stay. You begged him for one night to stay home with the team, with you. But he walked away. It was the dead of night when you heard them. You had been waiting for Logan to come home when you heard the footsteps and the shouting.

In a blink of an eye everything was gone. Friends dead. Mansion destroyed. You had fought back as best you could but they killed everyone. Everyone except you. You don’t know how or why you survived but apart of you wished you hadn’t. Then your thoughts drifted to Logan. What would happen when he came home? What if they had gotten to him too?

Before you could even think of finding him. Some assholes in these weird suits showed up. Zapping you with some thing and sending you here. Its been a long time since then. The void was your home now and these people were your family. Every day you wished you could go back to your world, find your Logan. But it seems he might have been brought back to you.

“I know this movie is R rated but if you two could keep the eye fucking to a minimum that would be great.” Red pipes up.

“Shut the fuck up.” Both you and Logan say. Glaring at the loudmouth man.

“Aww how cute, twining!.” He coos at Logan who raises his fist, ready to stick three claws right into his face. Red lets out a shriek and runs to hide behind you.

“What the fuck?” You ask as he peeks over your shoulder.

“Sorry honey bunches but I’m not ready to go another round with peanut over there so you’re my human shield.” You raise your eyebrow at Logan who puts away his claws.

“Fucking coward.” He stares at you before shaking his head and leaving.

“How rude, you think he’s be happy to see you and we’d get one of those notebook pride and prejudice style romance scenes.” He says before leaving you alone.

Seemingly unaware of the bomb he had dropped on you. A plan forms but you don’t pay any mind. So this is him. That is your Logan. He’s so different. Sure he was never the nicest man but he just seemed, broken now. Like all hope and love had been drained from his mind. Leaving only rage in its wake.

As night falls you see him outside, drinking by the fire. Laura sits with him. You wonder what it’s like for her to see him. If it was as jarring for her as it feels for you. Slowly you walk outside, not wanting to interrupt their conversation. Catching only a few words here and there. When Laura leaves he calls out.

“Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy.” She turns, catching your gaze for a moment before looking back at him.

"You were always the wrong guy." As she walks away you slowly walk towards him.

This isn't the reunion you expected. When you imagined seeing him again it was a lot nicer. You would find your way out of here and go home, find him and tell him how much you missed him.

"You just gonna stand there?" Logan's voice feels so much colder.

Though you see the instant regret in his eyes as he looks at you. He darts around before staring back down at the fire. You make your way over and sit on the log next to him. His sleeves are ripped and his suit bloodied. This was the suit you never thought you'd see on him.

"Logan, is it really you." You reach out to touch his cheek but he ducks his head away from you.

"Please, I've been dreaming of this day ever since I landed in his hell hole. Tell me that this is real." He can barely meet your eyes as he swirls the brown liquid in the bottle around.

He nods his head. A small part of him says to lie. Look you in the eyes and tell you he's not from the same universe. That he isn't the Logan who abandoned you, walked away from you. But fuck has he missed you.

"You look different, tired. Can it really be you?" You say softly as you turn your body towards him, moving closer. The grip on his bottle tightens as he builds up the courage to look at you. You're just as beautiful as he remembered.

"I...I'm not the man you remember." He says lowly. His face feels heavy in your hands. Like he's letting you bare the weight he's been holding.

"You're still my husband." You hum as you bring your other hand to scratch behind his ear.

"No, I've changed. I'm not the husband you remember." He closes his eyes, relishing in your touch. You used to do this to calm him down.

"Princess..." He takes your hands away from his face.

"I've done things. Horrible things. I...I'm no hero. I wanted to be one, for you but..." He stops.

"I was weak. But I've missed you. Every fucking day I think about you." The angry quips and drunken growls were gone. This was the Logan only you got to see. The tired, broken, vulnerable Logan.

"Would you still love me? Would you fall for me again? If you knew." He whispers. He's terrified of the answer. He became a monster. He didn't have the team or Charles or you to ground him anymore.

"What did you do my love?" You ask. His eyes darken, head hanging in shame.

"I came home and you were all dead. Every single one of you. I-" He stops, the memories pouring into his head.

"I looked for your body, through the smell of blood and death I could still smell your perfume. But I couldn't find you." He remembers staining his clothes with blood. Hands soaked as he searched the mansion for you.

"When I couldn't find you, I thought they had taken you. To experiment or something. So I tracked them down. I found them and I killed them." His eyes lit with a fiery rage. Tears were pooling in your eyes as you listened to what your husband had to go through.

"I killed every last one of them. Hunted them down until I was sure they were all dead for what they did. But I couldn't find you. You were gone and I didn't even have a body to bury." He spits.

He takes his hands away from you, closing himself off again as he chugs the rest of the bottle. Old habits die hard.

"After they were all dead, I couldn't rest. I was so angry. So I kept killing. Didn't matter who. I left a trail of blood and turned the whole world against mutants." He laughs bitterly as he tosses the bottle over his shoulder.

It shatters and a piece digs itself into his shoulder. He barely even notices. Like the pain is something he's used to at this point. Gently you take the piece and tug it out.

"So much for being a hero huh?" He looks at you, expecting the worst as he builds back the walls he had just taken down.

"Logan..." To his shock you weren't angry or disgusted. You were crying. Tears are falling down your face, a look of utter heartbreak as you see the ghost of the man you once knew.

"I'm so sorry." You cry as you wrap your arms around him. He's stiffens at your touch. Your sobs break his damn heart.

"Please don't cry princess," He begs.

"I lived. That night I survived and I tried to find you but they sent me here." Logan tenses. Those bastards sent you here. Alone and afraid. A part of him wants to tear those fuckers limb from limb, but the other part knows that if you hadn't been sent here. You'd be dead. He takes your face and wipes away the tears.

"I'm not worth crying over. Shedding tears for a monster..."

"My husband is not a monster!" You say angrily.

"I told you before I'm not your fucking husband anymore!" Logan snaps back.

You wipe your eyes and stuff your hand into your pocket. Logan's breath hitches as he sees your wedding ring. It wasn't much, he couldn't afford the diamond he thought you deserved. Instead he made it, carved the band from a piece of wood and found the prettiest gem he could.

"Are you not the man who gave this to me?!" You shout.

"Till death do us part Logan. I'm not dead, I'm right here. I've been waiting to see you again for years." You take the ring and shove it against his chest.

His hand curls around yours. You were sick of this, you love this man more than life itself. When will he get that? You never wanted the hero, you want Logan.

"If you're not my husband anymore than take it back." His hand grabs your wrist, refusing to let you go. He reaches into his suit, around his neck is a chain and sitting between his dog tags was his ring.

The one that matched yours. He says your name again. This time much quieter, much sadder. There's no doubt in his mind that he isn't good enough for you. He's never been enough for you. The day you said your vows chased away those fears but they always lingered.

Then he lost you and he had just been repeating it in his head over and over again since then. But now you're here, alive and somehow you're looking past it all. Somehow, you still love him.

"Don't you get it Logan. I love you. I love you so much it hurts." You sink to the ground and Logan follows.

Sweeping you up in his arms, protecting you from the dirt and leaves. You're in his lap, hands caressing his face as he holds onto you, arms wrapped around your waist.

"I'd pick you over and over, I don't care how long its been or who you think you are now. You will always be my husband and I will always love you." You lean your forehead against his. Closing your eyes you just take it in. This is real. You’ve found each other again and you won’t let go ever again.

“I’ve fucking missed you.” He growls as he smashes his lips onto you. His hands travel anywhere he can touch.

It’s been so long since he’s felt so desperate. His hand cups the back of your head as he leans you back onto the ground. Crawling over you as he uses his elbows to prop himself up. Your hands are tangled in his hair as he deepens the kiss. Breathless you pull away, ready to kiss him again. Footsteps grab both of your attention. Logan covers you as best as he can as he unsheathes his claws.

“Woah there, let us get the intimacy coordinator here before the two of you start the devils dance.”

“Shut the fuck up Wade.” Logan growls as he sits back up. You try and avoid Wade’s gaze as you sit up.

“I didn’t know they made Viagra for 200 year old men.” He says while unashamedly staring at Logan’s crotch.

“Get the fuck out Red.” You hiss.

“Sorry angel, big fan by the way, just came out here to check on peanut.” Logan makes a move to get up and Wade jumps back.

“Fine jesus sorry for being a concerned friend!” He huffs before marching back to the hideout.

“Does he ever shut up?” You ask and Logan grunts.

“No.”

The fire has been slowly dying and the light is fading fast.

“We’re leaving at sunrise for Cassandras. We’re getting out of here.” Logan looks at you with unease. He just got you back and now you’re going to risk your life again.

“We could stay here. This place ain’t so bad.” Not when you’re here. He could make this place a home if you’re with him.

“They need you Logan, they don’t stand a chance without you.” You hum as you pick a leaf out of his hair.

“What if I lose you again? I just got you back.” He can’t let you slip through his fingers.

“You won’t lose me my love. I swear. Laura believes in you and so do I.” He thinks about Laura. The girl who lost her own version of him. Whoever that man was, he was a hero. If he could be a fraction of him, then maybe he could prove he’s more than what he’s become. You love him but he could be the man he always wanted to be for you. He could be proud of the suit , of his title. He can make you proud.

“Okay. But you’re staying by my side the whole time.” You smile and kiss him once again. Sighing as you get to relish being in the arms of your lover again.

“Deal. Now, let’s get some rest.” You guide him to your bed, he curls up next to you.

Burying his face in your chest as you try and sleep. Logan's hold on you is iron clad, he's afraid that when he wakes tomorrow you won't be here, that this was all some strange dream. You place your hand over his, cooing soft words in his ear until he relaxes.

"I love you Logan." You whisper as you close your eyes. Ready to face whatever comes tomorrow with your husband by your side.

[hannieehaee]

LO$ER=LO♡ER (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: jihoon's been pushed aside and ostracized from the moment he was born. completely alone, with no family and only a handful of friends, he's been too beaten down to expect anything good with the shitty cards life has dealt him. when he's presented with his new coworker, it's hard to not fantasize about her, but he'll never actually allow himself to believe she could ever look like him with anything but pity — just like everyone else.

content: loser!jihoon, antisocial!jihoon, sociallyawkward!jihoon, insecure!jihoon, sunshine!reader, jihoon is basically just a complete loser with horrible luck who's never felt true happiness (sorry), mentions of bullying, mentions of jihoon's sad past, sunshine!reader, slowburn, lots of worldbuilding but its just so u can feel sorry for jihoon lol, coworkers au, pining, miscommunication, afab reader, smut, sub!jihoon, virgin!jihoon, handjob, body worship, nipple play, dry humping, penetrative sex, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 1.9k (teaser); 14k (full fic)

RELEASE DATE: february 10th!

or you can check it out on my patreon today by subscribing!

a/n: i put together every form of loserism and created this jihoon

masterlist

Every week was the same.

Jihoon would get up, fix his overgrown hair the best he could, and take the train over to work.

This was as far as he'd gotten in life; an overly repetitive existence with no sense of joy within it.

He should've been happy. Things were better now. Being 27 with a stable job and no real issues in his life should be something to be grateful for, yet Jihoon found himself being completely displeased with his life.

Surely there must be more to life than this, right? A lonely and loveless life that appeared to be leading him nowhere. But still, things were better than before.

It was hard for Jihoon to speak of his childhood, much less his teenage years (or even his college life). It was all too grim. He'd grown to accept it, to let it all go, but the past had made him who he was, and he knew his current self was to blame for his loneliness. For his lack of love.

And so he continued his daily routine, living day after day with no change in sight. He accepted this with a flat smile, grateful that things were just fine. Not good, not great, not even varied, but just fine.

This week, though, finally had something different. But to Jihoon that was usually bad news.

Were you bad news?

You were the brand new thing in his life.

It was your first week in his office. A brand new face. A very pretty face.

Jihoon never thought about such things. He'd never had any romantic experience in his life. He had a long distance girlfriend once, but even that didn't work out. Too much distance, too many lies, too many complications. Jihoon just wasn't made for love.

So he never thought of such things again.

It was rare for him to even see a pretty girl on his day to day. His morning commute was far too early and filled with people way too old for him to even look in the eye without feeling disrespectful. His workplace, although consisted of a variety of people, was not a place where he felt very welcome initiating friendships or anything of the sort. Cliques had ended in high school, he thought, yet he found himself at the bottom of the food chain among his coworkers. He wasn't liked and was deliberately avoided by everyone around him.

Until you came along.

Finding you beautiful was no surprise to Jihoon. It was the most obvious thing in the world. Putting appearances aside, you were sunshine personified. Smart, confident, hardworking, gentle, nice, beautiful. You were everything anyone could ever want. At times Jihoon even wondered whether he wanted you or if he just wanted to be like you.

You'd caused an immense impression in him within the short time in which he'd known you.

He hadn't really gotten to know you on a personal level yet. But you had extended him an olive branch upon the first meeting, which was a memory that had implanted itself on his mind. It was rare for Jihoon to come by good memories.

This was the first time he'd felt accepted in a very long time. Yet the fears of it turning around and slapping him in the face (like in so many prior instances) was too big for him to really consider you good news in his life.

It was kind of embarrassing looking back at it. Jihoon hadn't been expecting you (how could he have?), but you suddenly showed up at his cubicle accompanied by one of his coworkers, Doyle.

Doyle wasn't someone Jihoon thought too much about — or at least he tried not to. He was the classic high school bully, except in a corporate-world wrapping. Jihoon had dealt with bullies his whole life, he'd become desensitized to it by now. Still, it bothered him to see him standing next to you. He hadn't met you yet, but he was immediately disheartened by the new girl at the office looking buddy-buddy with someone he considered an adversary.

What had been surprising to Jihoon, though, was your complete disinterest in Doyle's obvious advances.

It was pretty often that Doyle would attempt to assert his dominance by putting Jihoon down in front of other coworkers. He'd tease him and patronize him in front of anyone to see in order to show others who was in charge. And it was not Jihoon, that was for damn sure.

Jihoon got up as soon as he sensed a presence at his cubicle, somehow managing to stumble over his feet as he did so. When he looked up, he was not expecting you, yet there you were. Beautiful, smiling down at him with genuine interest in your eyes. You didn't know him, but you had kindness in your eyes. He could tell.

He stumbled over an introduction as Doyle interrupted him, telling you Jihoon's name and position at the company for him. Unwarranted and once again showing that if he so wished, he could speak over Jihoon.

But you'd interrupted him in return, turning to Jihoon to extend your hand with that smile never leaving your lips.

"Hi, it's really nice to meet you," you'd smiled as he felt fire at the mere handshake.

"Hi, I, uhm, I'm Jihoon. Lee Jihoon. I didn't realize we had someone new coming. It's nice to meet you. You- If you need anything, you can always ask me," he slapped himself mentally when he said it. He stuttered his way through it like a fucking loser. His immediate attraction to you was too obvious. Doyle's smirk as he stood beside you told him all he needed to know.

"Oh, that's so nice, thank you! I'm right next door. Well- right next cubicle, so I'll probably take you up on that sooner or later," you laughed at your own attempt of a joke.

Jihoon couldn't help chuckling back, ignoring Doyle as he patted your shoulder, laughing along. Jihoon noticed a short-lived discomfort in your eyes at the action, one which died when your eyes went back to him.

Was he imagining it, or were you showing preference towards Jihoon?

"Well, let's not bother our little Jihoonie here any longer," Doyle interrupted once more, "It's almost lunch time," he leaned in to tell you, looking down at Jihoon, "We all usually go to a burger joint nearby — Jihoonie here likes to stay in, so we try to stay out of his way."

That wasn't entirely true.

Once upon a time, Jihoon did attempt to join the rest of his coworkers in outings, but he was always alienated. After a few too many slights about his hair, his height, his weird choice in clothing, or even just his personality, he decided to stray away from anything that wasn't strictly professional when it came to his coworkers. He was always the butt of the joke, so he made the decision to isolate in the office with a cold sandwich he packed for himself every day.

Sometimes his friends Soonyoung and Mingyu from accounting would join him, but there was usually not enough time to see them during regular working hours. This left him alone most of the time.

Your face seemed to deflate at Doyle's words. Whether it was out of pity for Jihoon or annoyance at Doyle's overzealous confidence around you, he wasn't sure.

"Oh, I actually brought a packed lunch," you told Doyle before turning to face Jihoon again, "Would it be okay if I stay in with you?", you looked at him with expectant eyes.

"You wanna, uhm, have lunch with me?", he asked dumbly and you nodded, "Y-yeah, that'd be nice, yes," he attempted a shy smile, succeeding when you returned it.

Doyle cleared his throat, interrupting the silent smiles you and Jihoon were sharing.

"Well, I could stay in with you if you want, I-"

But you interrupted him again.

"That's fine. I don't wanna get in the way of your plans. Jihoon will make fine company," you said politely, stepping away from Doyle to head over to your desk, popping back next to Jihoon with a brown paper bag.

Doyle looked dumbfounded for a few moments before masking it with a tight smile. Jihoon simply stood there as you pulled up a chair and settled it on Jihoon's desk, paying no mind to Doyle.

"I guess I'll leave you two to it. I'll keep showing you around after lunch. You have my number if you need anything," Doyle made emphasis on that last statement, offering you what looked like a genuine smile before giving Jihoon a look that told him he still felt victorious in the end.

"Thanks, Doyle! Bye!," you smiled back before turning to Jihoon.

Lunch was incredibly awkward for Jihoon. But that wasn't your fault. You'd been incredibly nice, asking him questions and keeping the conversation going despite the mumbly, shy mess Jihoon was. The conversation was entirely carried by you, with you surprisingly taking an interest in him. Every word, every gesture, they all led him to believe you were genuinely nice.

At the same time, he felt entirely delusional.

It wasn't often that people were nice to him, so it was likely he was building it up to be more than it actually was. You likely did not want to stay in with him, but after Doyle brought up that Jihoon was the only one in the office during lunch break, you had no option but to join him since you also planned to stay in. However, you were a good team player, Jihoon believed. Not many people would sacrifice their lunch to stay in with the black sheep of the office just to rid yourself of any possible awkwardness. Jihoon knew damn well many previous coworkers had gone out of their way to avoid him before.

But despite the belief that you simply pitied him, Jihoon missed your time spent together the moment it ended. He felt shy and blushed bright red at every single word uttered from you, but it had been the nicest interaction he'd had in a long time (a long, long time).

That had happened last Wednesday, repeating itself on Thursday, Friday, and then a whole weekend was spent with Jihoon solely thinking about you. Time that he usually spent reading or playing chess online was instead used up to think about you. It was mostly to overthink every tiny interaction and panic over it, but it was was still preoccupied by you.

But he also thought about other things.

How beautiful he found you to be. How nice, funny, hardworking, smart and riveting you were (despite this being an assessment he'd made in less than a week of knowing you). This was Jihoon's first crush in ... he couldn't even remember how long.

And it was terrible.

Every crush he'd ever had had turned out terribly. Harmless elementary school crushes turned into pranks pulled by his classmates in order to embarrass him. Prepubescent middle school crushes became false confessions that led to public embarrassment. Hopeless high school crushes were nothing but a farse that led him into giving up altogether.

Throughout his practically non-existent love life, Jihoon had always been met by nothing but discouragement, sometimes by simple rejection and other times by harassment from people who believed him to be unworthy of being liked. These were memories he did not like to relive, but the resurgence of feelings for someone brought them all back.

And so he was unsure of how to feel. He was unsure of whether to let himself like you or recoil, unwilling to even try.

...

you can check it out today on my patreon by subscribing!

reply if you'd like to be tagged upon its release on tumblr!

[cheyisagirlkisser]

a concept : abby's first time with a woman. maybe her first partnered orgasm too cause we all know owen ain't shit lol.

i'm so in love with this request. @powderpinkandsweeet did this concept too and it was delicious please go read hers here!!

warnings: owen.. fingering (a! receiving), oral sex (r! receiving), afab / fem reader, body worship because Abby deserves it.

a/n: I wrote Abby to be mostly bisexual in this fic, but you can interpret her feelings for men as possibly comphet or something similar. Either way, it's clear she discovers her preference for women in this fic.

Sex means a variety of things to people. In Abby's life, sex with men was mostly about love. She did feel attraction to men and she had relationships with them, last one being her ex-boyfriend Owen. It was never about the pleasure itself. Sure, there were moments when she felt physically nice during sex, but it didn't last. She was only halfway there by the time Owen was coming down from his orgasm. He didn't offer to finish her off, and aftercare was the sound of his breathless laughter accompanied by a "thanks, babe."

Abby didn't ever judge her friends who liked to have sex for less emotional reasons. At least, she didn't think there was much emotion behind it. Abby just knew more about sex within relationships. The fact that men were incapable of actually making her cum was overshadowed by feelings. Things changed when she caught a glimpse of Mel's contact in Owen's phone, though. Things changed for the better.

You were much different than Owen in ways that Abby could not grapple with. First of all, you weren't a man. Abby never really considered women as an option for her (though she had lingering thoughts about what it would be like to be with one), but seeing you at a small party, you being a friend of a friend, she wasn't exactly opposed to the idea of being involved with one.

Conversations led to observations. Whereas Owen was condescendingly sarcastic, you liked to be gentle with Abby. You never said a joke that made Abby feel bad about being a stronger woman; in fact, you told her you liked her physique. You asked about her workout routine, and you made her feel feminine. That was simply something Owen could not do. Owen was also a blind optimist. He turned away from issues in the pursuit of "ignorance is bliss." With you, it felt like you articulated your views in a way that made her question her own, even. You were clearly a thoughtful person, and you took time to educate yourself about human rights, something that should be the bare minimum but clearly Owen lacked education on. Abby could never talk to him about topics like feminist issues like she was able to with you. And lastly, a more physical observation, you made her realize that actually feeling pleasure during sex can make the sex 100 times more emotional.

You took her home with you the night you met. Abby told you about the break-up and how she was still processing it, and you didn't expect anything more from her than what she was comfortable giving. But fuck, the sex made her feel things. How was she ever supposed to feel this way with anyone else?

You had her laid on your bed, and you only kissed her for a little while. Even your kisses were like sugar, and Abby wanted so much more. Every moment of contact your lips made with hers reminded her of an artist's brushstroke onto a canvas, painting over it a masterpiece that simply cannot be undone.

Your fingers traced over her sides, heightening the pants she spills from her lips, and increasing a neediness deep within her that feels like pressure building up in a small space, needing to be let go. She was a little worried that you'd get her all worked up and not make her cum.

You noticed the way she retracted ever so slightly, and cupped her face. "Hey, what's wrong?" You asked so softly, patiently.

Abby swallowed, struggling to articulate her own feelings. She wasn't used to even speaking during sex. It never lasted long enough for her to be able to.

"We can stop if you want to." You offer, giving her a reassuring smile. Your thumb caressed her cheek, and it gave both a red warmth.

"No, it's not that-" she sighed, almost feeling annoyed with herself for making things awkward, "I just got really worked up, I guess. I've never..done this with another woman before, and men are probably different."

You nodded knowingly. "Do you want me to take care of you?"

Abby didn't know exactly what that entailed, but something in her had a pre-established trust for you, just knew that you'd stop if she needed you to. It made her want you even more.

After both of you had enough touchy-feely, Abby helped you pull her shirt and sports bra off. You admired each freckle-plastered inch of her body, from the peak of her nipples to her firm biceps. You took your time with her, and she loved it.

You used your hands first, your soft skin meeting hers. You trailed fingers over her arms, squeezing. Abby let out a soft sigh, and you took that as encouragement to lean in and plant adoration-filled kisses onto the muscle. "You're so pretty." The words were slightly muffled with your mouth on her skin, but she surely heard. It made her pulse beat faster.

You simply touched her for a while, at first warming her up and kissing her skin, mouth becoming steadily more explicit. When your mouth gently latched onto one of Abby's nipples, she couldn't keep herself from making a needy sound. Your tongue swirled over the pink bud, and Abby melted back into the bed.

Not longer after, you weren't surprised to find a pair of soaked panties worn by yours truly. Abby was laid out on your bed, legs parted for you. She was a little embarrassed that you had her so needy before even touching her.

"Fuck," is all she could manage when she felt a warm finger spread her folds open, sliding up to massage her clit.

"You like that, baby?"

"God, yes-" she breathlessly let out, trying not to completely lose it.

The way you touched her was much different from how Owen did. When he (rarely) used his fingers on her, it felt like he was trying to stab her vagina. He couldn't find a clit if it was bright red and glowing. You, however, both teased her and lavished attention on where her body knew it needed it. Your finger teased her hole before slightly stretching it, earning soft sounds from Abby.

You kissed over the firm muscles on her arms as you fucked her, careful to slip another finger into her and give her a good stretch. Abby was incoherent and so messy that her neediness was soaking your knuckles, trickling down your hand. You didn't complain or joke about it, even letting out sweet, approving hums onto her skin.

Your fingers didn't drill in and out of her like a screwdriver, much like Owen's, but rather plunging within her to press into her g-spot and curling upward. You kept your thumb on her clit, making sure she had that extra stimulation.

"Do you like it?" You asked, eyes peering up to meet hazy pair.

Abby eagerly nodded, not trusting herself to speak a sensical sentence. You smiled and carefully shifted to kiss her. This time, it wasn't as soft, rather sloppy but it was exactly what Abby needed. Everything you did made her head spin. You had her tongue between your lips, sucking on it and occasionally letting her invade your mouth and taste the sweetness of whatever was once there. Just the soft little nibbles you gave her bottom lip made her moan, a sound that would've been much louder if not swallowed by your mouth.

Best part was, you knew how to multi-task. The desperation she felt was slowly fed with the steady pace of your hand working on her pussy, and your lips made her feel what she didn't understand before: you made her realize that the physical part of sex, the part that she didn't quite like to explore with men, could be just as important as the romantic aspect.

You found a pace that Abby particularly liked, causing her to whine and tangle her fingers into the sheets.

"Fuck, right here. I'm gonna cum." She pleaded, as if so desperate to get to cum. She wanted it so badly, and it only made you more needy to give it to her.

"Yeah? You wanna cum all over my fingers for me?" You cooed, lips brushing against hers. Your short breath sent warmth onto her lips, and she wanted to always feel it. It sent heat throughout her.

"I wanna cum for you!!" Her moans were louder, but you didn't shush her. You instead leaned down to kiss her, fingers pumping into her pussy, thumb rubbing circles down onto her clit.

She felt the final seconds of chasing her orgasm, hips lifting to meet your hand, and she thanked a higher power that you weren't a man who was giving her sloppy thrusts that would never get her over the edge.

You made her feel like she was on cloud nine. She probably cried out your name a couple dozen times, grasped onto your face to kiss your lips just to feel that connection as you fucked her. She never expected to feel such emotion during an orgasm, never was she able to feel this way during masturbation or with guys. It was all because of you that her pussy was sloppy and leaking onto your sheets, making a mess.

When she came down, you let her catch her breath, soothing her with kisses on her shoulders and allowing your cheek to rest on her chest. You listened to her heartbeat, waiting for it to grow steady.

Abby felt content and safe with you, but something was still nagging her. You made her cum, but she hadn't made an effort to touch you yet. She didn't ever want to make you feel the way that Owen made her feel.

She hesitantly but gently tapped your upper back, and you sat up.

"Are you okay?" You asked with a moderate amount of concern present, wanting to make sure you didn't do anything wrong.

"Of course, but..I wanna touch you. If that's okay."

You nodded. "Have you ever touched a woman before? At all?"

Abby shook her head, cheeks a little red. She was a bit nervous, but her eagerness made up for it. You didn't seem hesitant in letting her touch you, and that made her feel more confident.

"I've honestly always wondered what it'd be like to like, go down on a girl." Abby admitted with a sheepish laugh.

You smiled and began to strip, your tank-top and bra leaving your body first. For the first time, Abby felt truly overwhelmed with seeing someone naked. You looked so soft and touchable, and she found herself wondering how you'd taste, feel, and sound like when she made you feel good. She hoped she could make you feel good.

You laid down next to where she was previously laying, and Abby situated herself in front of you. You parted your thighs, and she sworn she felt herself drooling from the sight of your glistening pussy, begging to be eaten like a savory meal.

Abby found it most comfortable to lay on her stomach, face between your legs. She wanted to make you feel appreciated (and she loved your thighs), so she planted kisses along your thighs, frequently peeking up to make sure you were comfortable. When her mouth was near your pussy, she paused.

"Can you guide me? Sorry, I know it's awkward as hell, but I have no clue how to do this and I want to make it nice for you." She could hear the shakiness in her own voice, making her slightly cringe.

Abby felt one of your hands stroke through her hair, fingers carding through the blonde. "Just do what you think would feel good, you know? You're a woman, so try to imagine it on you. I'll tell you what feels good and what doesn't." Abby let herself imagine it for a moment and nodded, knowing that the best way to learn is to just practice and listen to your moans and what you tell her you don't want.

She gave herself a second to calm her nerves, and gave an experimental lick to your clit. You made a soft sound, encouraging more.

As Abby worked, she knew she wasn't physically skilled at this, at least not yet. However, she was enthusiastic about it. She tried to make up for the lack of experience as best she could. Thankfully, you also tugged her head closer and ground your pussy against her mouth, making it easier for you to feel pleasure while she figured out what worked well for you. You seemed to like when she slipped her tongue into you and worked at your clit with her nose, your moans less steady and increasingly broken as she tasted your gummy walls.

She found that to get you to your orgasm, it took much longer than it took Owen. She enjoyed that more than she'd expected to, savoring being able to just taste you. She craved feeling the way your hips stuttered when she gave your clit a firm lick, or hear you cry out when you finally got close to an orgasm.

Abby initially didn't know whether to speed up or continue, but the rhythm of your hips helped guide her until she finally had you cumming on her tongue. You were pretty with your eyes half-lidded and brows knit tightly together, thighs pressing against her face, it made her want to just take a mental snapshot of this moment and keep it with her forever. She didn't know what she loved more, the process of eating pussy or the aftermath.

When you were stable again, Abby moved to mimic your previous action, letting her ear press against your heartbeat. You had to stifle a giggle at how cute it was, but you were probably too out of breath to even get a steady laugh out. She didn't leave sexual, sloppy kisses onto your tits, but rather gentle, loving pecks.

Abby didn't know when exactly she fell asleep, but she woke up with her chest pressed against your back, cuddling you tightly against her. It was probably early in the morning, and her body was still a bit sore, but she smiled and planted a kiss onto the back of your neck, holding your bare form close to hers as she drifted back into a peaceful sleep.

[saturnscafe]

͙˚ ༘✶Le Pew | Skunk Hybrid (GN Reader)

Smut Below

A/N: did I write this after remembering Pepe Le pew? Yes. Yes I did. 😂 Hence the tittle. I wrote this in a daze so bear with me if there’s any mistakes lol.

Skunk hybrid hating humans because they always run away from him. He doesn’t understand why, I mean he does. However he doesn’t understand why they wouldn’t give him a chance. So when he was injured and you found him he was shocked that you didn’t care.

He just stared at you trying to figure out when you’d run, or when you’d say something about his smell. When you patched him up just smiling at him he was entranced with you. Blurting out quick and loudly “Will you be my mate” he didn’t even know where that came from. Neither did you but you’d be lying to yourself if he wasn’t handsome.

That sleek black hair with a small stripe of white. The small scar that went up the side of his cheek, and not to mention how tall he was.

“How about a date first?” You said smiling at him and he thought he could melt right then. He scattered trying to plan the best date for you. He was always a super confident man but you had him feeling like a middle schooler getting ready for his first date. You suggested just a relaxing day at your place, just hanging out and getting to know each other one on one.

When he came knocking on your door the smell of strong cologne washed over you. It was like he bathed himself in it. He was scared you’d change your mind if he smelled. So he drowned himself in a whole bottle of the stuff. You couldn’t help but laugh it just came tumbling out. “Did you use the whole bottle?” You teased. His ears folding down to his head like he did something wrong. “Most humans..” he started to say before you cut him off. “I grew up around skunks, I don’t mind the smell. Quite frankly I don’t even smell it anymore.

His eyes lit up, asking you so many questions as to why. After telling him your father was a vet helping any animal in need. You told him about how he’d made it a mission to help any hybrid that wasn’t treated well. Always opening his home to skunks, snakes, spiders and many more that didn’t meet the “cute” standard.

You both chatted all night, about everything and anything. He’d open up about how he honestly hated humans because how they treated him like the plague. You reassured him that, that wasn’t the case with you. That you knew many people who just loved his kind. The night turned into you both curled on the couch at 1am watching movies.

He felt really comfortable with you, his confidence oozing back. His hand found its way under your chin pulling you into a sweet longing kiss. Your eyes fluttered close taking in how gentle he was. The kiss turned into hands pulling at each other’s clothes. Lips kissing at any part of skin they could find. When he slipped into you it his head fell backwards taking in the feeling of your warm walls. The smell of the cologne finally had faded away, and you could smell his natural musky sent. His smell was different though almost like it was a sort of pheromone. It was driving you crazy.

His cock hit the back of your walls, nails digging into one another as trails of curses left both of you. His eyes found yours making his hips stutter he felt like he was in love. He leaned down kissing you passionately as both of you reached your climaxes hot ropes of cum spirting into you. His arms wrapped around you holding you close as he possibly could. Like you’d float away if he didn’t. He broke the waves of breaths “so does this mean you’ll be my mate?” He said his fluffy tail slowly moving behind him. “I’d be honored” you replied.

People couldn’t grasp why you’d choose to be with a skunk hybrid. They didn’t see him like you did which was honestly their loss. With your love and support he became even more confident. Talking to other humans and finding people who liked him for him. Even meeting your father who absolutely adored him.

[taevbears]

To Be Loved - Holiday Special

As long as there's Christmas, I truly believe That hope is the greatest of gifts we'll receive

⤑ pairing: namjoon x reader ⤑ genre: hybrid au, romance, hurt/comfort ⤑ rating: 18+ ⤑ word count: 6.2k ⤑ warnings: slight angst, slight description of violence, miscommunication lmao, implied smut, mentions of everyone's favorite asshole (kangdae) ⤑ note: happy 2025! i hope BTS' reunion year has been treating you all well so far! i meant to post this last month, but lol. 2024 was ... a year for me. anyway, i miss this couple and i hope y'all enjoy this belated Christmas gift from me!

Masterlist

It’s a cold winter’s night.

Frosted windows show a picturesque snow-covered wonderland outside the old manor. White ice blankets the forest ground and evergreen treetops, freshly-fallen and undisrupted by the nocturnal wildlife. Beneath the silver glow of moonlight is a hushed silence and a serene stillness, as if time itself has frozen over to take in the captivating beauty of the night.

A shiver runs down your back, and you pull the blanket around your shoulders a little tighter around you. From the tall windows of the west wing, you’re gifted with breathtaking sights of quiet and gentle snowfall, sunsets that paint the skies hues of orange, red, and gold, and dark clouds that obscure the moonlight as night falls and storms roll in.

Seven months ago, you ran away from your abusive boyfriend and arrived at this old and desolated manor. Moss and vines grow upon the sturdy structure, and an overgrown yard lies beyond the iron gate that leads up to it. The floors creak loudly with your careful steps, the wallpaper is peeling and faded in your room, and the antique furniture is chipped and worn. Yet, you’ve quickly learned that this manor houses something very special.

Hybrids.

Creatures that are both human and animal, but are outcasted from your society and treated like second-hand citizens. Because they’re different. Because they’re not fully human. Because they’re partly beasts, they’re treated like monsters.

Ironically, while you were living in your small, provincial town, you felt just as outcasted. You’re pretty, therefore, you had to be Kangdae’s. He treated you like a doll to puppet around and break, and everyone told you how lucky you are. Because he was wealthy and handsome. Because you look good together. Because what more is there to love?

But Kangdae never loved you. And it took coming here, to this old manor, for you to realize that.

At first, you only intended to stay until the bad storm passes. But soon, the exotic hybrids living here started to get used to you. Over time, the old manor started to feel like home. And eventually, you started to realize what love is really like.

Your gaze lifts to above the treelines, and you feel like a child by the window, waiting to catch a glimpse of Santa and his sleigh. And as you muse the thought, you spot something in the sky – a flash of blue-silver.

Soon, a long shadow circles around the manor, and a celestial beast crawls into the exposed opening on the upper-corner of the room. Iridescent scales shimmer with the moonlight, covering his serpent-like body. Long, sharp talons land on the stone floor. Whiskers and beard are dusted with fresh snow. The indigo-colored eyes easily spot you staring up at him in awe.

Truly, he’s the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen. You have to wonder why he’d ever think of himself anything less.

For half a year, the beast kept its identity a secret, masking his form and forbidding you from entering the west wing. Had you wandered here before, you would’ve found the gold and gems he secretly stuffed in his drawers, or would’ve caught him basking under the morning sun’s rays while he sleeps. You would've seen the traces of his violent anguish, from the scratches on the walls and holes on the floor, and he’d quietly admit it was often caused by trying to suppress this form.

Now, he has nothing to hide.

“Welcome home,” you say to the creature before you.

Then, on purpose, the beast wiggles and shakes off the wet snow from his scales.

“Ah, Namjoon!” you squeal, shutting your eyes and using your blanket to shield you from the drops of water. A playful chuckle follows, and in his human form, Namjoon wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you close.

“What are you doing here? You know you’re not allowed,” he reminds you, quirking an eyebrow. All traces of the beast you had seen before are gone in this form, save for the indigo hue in his eyes. “Jimin will be upset if you catch a cold again.”

The giant hole allows Namjoon to quickly enter and exit the manor in his other form, but it also allows the freezing air and snow to come in. It makes this particular area more dangerous than the rest of the manor, weathered and damaged by the elements. Even with a blanket wrapped around you, you’re still trembling.

“What can I say? I really wanted to see you,” you admit shyly.

It’s only been a month since the night you told Namjoon you loved him. Everything still feels so new – that feeling of love and being loved in return.

Despite the freezing temperatures and the slight dampness caught in his hair, he stands before you, unaffected and incredibly warm. He presses his forehead against yours, and his voice is low as he murmurs, “I came as soon as I could.”

You’re not sure who initiates the kiss first, but something about it just feels right. The feel of his thick lips against your own. The way his hand cups your face with a gentle firmness as he starts to walk you away from the windows and toward his bed. The heat of the kiss against the frost-bitten air makes you want more.

But then, an image of your ex-fiancé flashes in your mind. Just above where you stand is where Kangdae met his end. And even after his death, he still haunts you.

That split-second of him – drenched in the rain, eyes wild with fury, aiming his gun to you and Namjoon – causes you to step back and gasp.

For a moment, you and Namjoon stand steps away. His brow furrows with worry, and guilt starts to swallow you whole when you realize you’ve just ruined the moment.

“Are you cold?” Namjoon finally asks, breaking the silence. He picks up your blanket from the ground and drapes it around you again. You hadn’t noticed it slipped off your shoulders as he was kissing you. He smiles at you kindly, dimples forming on his cheeks. “Let’s get you somewhere warmer.”

You nod your head, unable to find your voice.

It doesn’t feel fair.

Namjoon is the one you want. He makes you feel so safe and happy, and you truly love him so much.

So why do Kangdae’s words still taunt you, making you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved at all?

“Careful, it’s dusty,” Hoseok warns, standing in front of a room that probably hasn’t been entered in years. Tiny specs float in the air as he pushes the door open, and the three of you peek into the dark room to find an old storage space.

Today, the three of you are tasked to clean out some of the unused rooms in the west wing. Your body aches from sweeping and scrubbing floors, wiping windows, and moving furniture around all day. But at least this is the last room you’re assigned to tackle.

Honestly, it’s also a welcomed distraction.

Last night, Namjoon slept in your room in the east wing. You kept apologizing for pushing him away, and even though he did nothing wrong, he said he was sorry for getting too carried away.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Namjoon,” you tell him, feeling even worse.

With incredible patience and attentiveness, Namjoon courted you for months: nightly dates, sticky notes in your books, and flowers by your bedside. He never pushed you into doing anything you were uncomfortable with. And it must’ve been because he knew you weren’t ready for a relationship so soon after what you’ve escaped from.

“Neither do you,” Namjoon replies. You see his pretty eyes briefly glance toward the door, as if debating whether he should stay here or return to the west wing.

“Come to bed, please,” you decide for him, gesturing at the empty spot beside you.

His face lights up as he pulls off his shirt and settles under the covers with you. Your hands have a mind of their own, touching the bulk of his muscles and feeling the warmth of his skin. 

You feel lucky. You feel undeserving.

He sighs at your gentle caresses and closes his eyes. He looks content like this, being this close and enjoying your touch, breathing you in. He takes your wrist and kisses it before he snuggles closer to hold you.

It feels so nice to be held like this, to be safe and feel protected. Even now, you’re not quite used to it. Even now, when you know you should feel happy, you feel troubled.

You think he’s asleep. His breathing slows and his eyes remain closed.

And you can’t help but hate Kangdae all over again. For showing you his version of love so you’d think that it’s cruel and ugly. For being a monster that creeps in the shadows of the back of your mind long after he’s passed. For convincing you that a love as sweet and beautiful as Namjoon’s is only a fairytale.

For making you believe that happily ever afters don’t exist.

Namjoon deserves a mate that isn’t broken from their past like you. It’s a daunting thought that hangs over you – that even though he says you’re the one, you could still lose him somehow.

“I wish I wasn’t so afraid to love you.”

When you woke up that morning, Namjoon had already left. He’s been going into town often lately, so that isn’t unusual. Yet, the dread of being an unworthy mate continues to plague your mind as you fix breakfast with the hybrids and focus on the house chores you agreed to take on.

“Careful, Jungkook,” Hoseok begins, eyeing wearily as the bunny-hybrid picks up a large box. “Some of them are heavy.”

“It’s okay. I’m strong,” he assures him, pausing to wink at you. You smile, fondly recalling how he’d come to protect you since you two ran away together. As he moves around, he hears something jingling inside. “Huh? What’s even in these?”

Curious, you and Hoseok inch closer to Jungkook as he sets the box down. Something inside rattles, knocking together with every movement. You’re certain you hear tiny bells and glass as well. As Jungkook rips open the packaging tape and pulls it open, your head nearly collides with Hoseok’s antlers as the three of you gather around and peek inside.

Round glass painted in deep, holiday red.

“They’re Christmas ornaments!” you exclaim with a gasp. With everything that’s been happening, you’ve almost forgotten that the holidays are here.

Jungkook picks one of them up and examines it. “What’s Christmas?”

Your head whips away from the ornaments to stare at him. “You’re kidding!”

He brings the ornament to his nose to smell it. “I’m not.”

“It’s a big winter holiday,” you answer, wondering if it’d ring a bell. But both hybrids continue to blankly stare at you. “People usually spend it with their friends and family, exchanging gifts, singing carols all month, and decorating their homes with lights and a tree.”

“Ah. It’s a human celebration,” Hoseok realizes.

“Well, sure, but… you guys never celebrated it?” you ask with a frown. You imagine they’d have fun eating a big feast together, playing winter-themed party games, and opening each other’s presents.

But then, why would they?

As hybrids, some of their Christmases were locked up in a cage, freezing in the cold. Or trying to survive the harsh winter while running away from hunters trying to capture and sell them. Some are put to work, gifted away like toys, or treated like spectacles at a fancy party. At best, it’s another day, though relatively quiet with humans going out of town to be with their loved ones.

“I’ve never celebrated Christmas before,” Jungkook admits.

“Me neither,” Hoseok says, sweeping the floor again. “I don’t think any of us ever had a proper Christmas before.”

An idea strikes you just then. The two hybrids watch as you open another box. Then, another. You’re delighted to see that they’re all Christmas decorations.

“Well,” you decide with a smile, carrying one of them out of the room. “That’s going to change this year.”

“What’s all this?” Yoongi asks from behind you, watching as you carefully wrap garland around the stair rail.

“Christmas,” Jimin answers on your behalf as he hangs eight stockings over the fireplace. 

When you, Hoseok, and Jungkook pulled out boxes of decorations from the storage room, it caught the attention of the other hybrids. Soon, you have Seokjin and Taehyung bickering about where to put the giant tree they found, Hoseok trying not to get his antlers tangled with tinsel and garland, Jungkook playing with the nutcrackers, and Jimin helping you decorate.

“Do you want to help?” you ask the leopard-hybrid. You glance at one of the boxes and suggest, “You can put up the wreaths on the doors.”

He picks one up and tilts his head, his ears flickering a bit. “Does Namjoon know we’re doing this?”

You pause what you’re doing, eyes widening with a mild panic. “Would Namjoon have a problem with this?”

“Not when it’s your suggestion,” Jimin replies, his feathers bristling with pride as he steps back to admire his work. “You’re his mate.”

“Either way, it’s a nice change of scenery,” Seokjin adds as he and Taehyung finally agree on a spot for the tree.

Your smile fades a bit. The insecurity that you’ve tried to keep at bay rises again. “I don’t know if I’m a good mate for him.”

Your voice is so quiet, you didn’t think they’d hear you. But all six of them whip their heads toward you, appalled.

“WHAT?” Taehyung shouts so loud, he startles you.

“Why would you say that? Did Namjoon say something to you?” Seokjin sputters, looking ready to scold the younger hybrid, despite Namjoon being the leader of their pack.

“No, it’s not that. He’s been so good to me. You all have,” you assure them. Seven months ago, the hybrids residing at the manor treated you like an outsider – a threat lingering in their territory. Things are completely different now that they consider you a friend.

“Then what’s wrong?” Yoongi gently asks.

“Kangdae,” you answer, and you practically feel the hostility in the air at the mere mention of his name. “I’ve been with him for so long, I don’t think I know how to love.”

To love and to be loved in return. It’s still so foreign to you.

“These days, Namjoon is the happiest I’ve ever seen him,” Jimin mentions. He takes the garland from you and starts to finish the rest, weaving it around the railing. “Even though he knows you’re his mate, he didn’t think you’d accept him. He always worried that he’d scare you off. That once you saw what kind of hybrid he is, you’d only see him as a monster.”

“I never thought of him as a monster.”

“I know you don’t, but Namjoon still worries about that sometimes. You’re human. You don’t feel that pull toward your mate like hybrids do when they find each other. You don’t feel that same certainty Namjoon felt the moment he first saw you.” Jimin looks in your eyes as he adds, “But that doesn’t make you a bad mate.”

“You’re meant to be loved,” Taehyung tells you, pulling you into a bear hug as you wipe your tears away. “And Namjoon is meant to be loved by you, too. Sometimes, the both of you need a reminder of that.”

Christmas is your favorite holiday.

As a child, you and your siblings would wake up your parents on Christmas morning with the joy of seeing presents from Santa under the tree. You’d spend the night before baking cookies and watching feel-good movies, and sometimes your father would take you all out to play in the snow and skate on the frozen lake.

Even as you grew older, you still enjoyed wrapping presents, decorating the tree, and humming your favorite Christmas songs as you cooked and cleaned. Even during the long, bleak years you’ve spent with Kangdae, you always looked forward to the time of year where everything is a little more joyful and merrier.

All day, you and the hybrids have been busy decorating the whole manor. Red and green are adorn in every corner, from the stockings neatly lined up on the mantle to the garlands of pine and holly hanging over arches and wrapped around stair rails. The tree that Seokjin and Taehyung brought in is heavily decorated with shimmering ornaments and ribbons, and on the top of the tree is a glimmering star that shines above the balls and lights. The wreaths that Yoongi hung up are placed on the doorways, and the nutcrackers that Jungkook grabbed are displayed on the shelves.

You step back in admiration, proud of what you’ve all accomplished. “Good job, everyone! The manor looks beautiful.”

An old grandfather clock tolls in the hour.

Seokjin looks over at Yoongi. “We should get started on dinner.”

“Yeah, it’s already late,” Yoongi agrees as the two begin to head toward the kitchen. Jungkook offers to help, trailing after the two.

“We’re going to check on the garden,” Hoseok informs as he, Jimin, and Taehyung plan to leave together as well. “Namjoon should be at his study.”

You look surprised. “Namjoon is home?”

Usually, he’d greet you as soon as he came back from his trips. But you don’t think much of it as you thank Hoseok and make your way toward the west wing.

Sure enough, you find him in his study. A fireplace is lit, cackling softly with a warm and inviting glow. The flicker of flames makes the shadows of the room dance, and Namjoon sits on a velvet chair by the fire, staring at the hearth. On an end table beside him is a tray with a container of whiskey and a half-filled glass.

Another memory flashes in your mind. Anger and alcohol, glass shattering by your head, and Kangdae storming away for the night while you cried. It scared you whenever Kangdae drank, but you don’t feel nervous at all when Namjoon does.

“Hey, when did you come back?” you ask, closing the door behind you.

“Not long,” he answers without looking at you. He seems sad.

You watch as he grabs the glass and finishes it in one go. “Did something happen?”

Before you could step closer, he suddenly stands. The clink of the glass on the tray fills the tense silence. Despite the glow of the fire, you catch the tinge of redness in his cheeks, and a glimpse of his watery eyes.

You close the distance, touching his face and asking what’s wrong. Rather than answering, he wraps his arm around you and pulls you to his chest. You feel him breathe you in, as if having you in his arms helps him calm down and eases his worries.

Then, after a while, he states, “You’re not scared.”

“I’m not,” you confirm, a little confused why he thinks you would be. “I never am when I’m with you.” 

The memories of all that you’ve been through linger in the back of your mind, but being in Namjoon’s arms now, feeling safe and protected, feeling warm and loved – it reminds you that this is what love is supposed to feel like.

You are meant to be loved.

He doesn’t say anything for a while again. He simply rests his chin on top of your head, and just as you were about to speak, he suddenly asks, “Do you want to spend the evening with me?”

You lift your head to look at him. “Of course I do. Always.”

He smiles a little. Just enough that the dimples you love form on his cheeks. “Okay. Get ready and wear something warm.”

“Something warm?”

“I want to take you on a real date this time.”

It’s been months since you’ve been to a town, surrounded by other humans who are enjoying their night.

Fried food, grilled meat, and fresh pastries linger from the market stalls, all decorated for the festivities as sellers are busy handing treats shaped like snowmen and reindeer or seasonal spiced drinks. A live band performs Christmas tunes on a stage. Little shops with trinkets and homemade ornaments and accessories pitch their products as the perfect gifts for the year. In the center is a huge Christmas tree, its branches heavy with silver and gold ornaments, red ribbons, and colorful fairy lights.

“Wow…” You marvel at the sights and sounds before you, a bit winded after Namjoon flew you here in his other form.

Namjoon glances at the look on your face and smiles to himself before pushing up a thick pair of sunglasses over his indigo eyes. With them, he blends in like any other human. Even if it is a bit odd for him to wear those glasses at this time of night.

Excited, you take his hand and he lets you lead him to whatever catches your attention. The two of you stop by every open stall, admiring the trinkets, sampling food, and buying small gifts you’d think the other hybrids would like. You pick out some clothes at a thrift shop for yourself and the hybrids, and you’re genuinely impressed with every outfit Namjoon tries on and shows off to you. At a convenience store, Namjoon helps you carry a bag full of ramen, pastries, and snacks you hadn't realized you missed until you saw them. And as the night gets later and the air grows colder, the two of you end up at a table in a small, crowded restaurant.

“This was really fun, Namjoon,” you state, scooping a spoonful of dessert as you admire your haul. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Namjoon reaches across the table to hold your hand. “I’m glad. We can come here more often if you’d like. No one is looking for you anymore.”

You glance around the lively restaurant. TV monitors are showing Christmas specials instead of missing person reports. Families with small children, couples on a date, and friends making toasts and exchanging gifts are sitting on the tables around you. To them, you and Namjoon are just any other couple enjoying their night.

It’s a kind of freedom you’ve never really thought about.

Before you met Kangdae, you were nobody. Just a quiet girl that loved to hide away from the world and read her books. People found you odd for that. You never quite fit in with the rest of the people in town.

Dating a man like Kangdae placed you on everyone’s radar. He was handsome, popular, and wealthy – a monster disguised as a prince. Although he only sought you out because you’re beautiful, he kept you around because together, you were something. A spectacle. A power couple meant to inherit the wealth and influence his parents had over the town. It didn’t matter what he did behind closed doors, as long as he’s seen as a doting boyfriend in the eyes of the public. As long as you did your part and pretended to be happy.

Now, Kangdae is gone. He can’t hurt you anymore. He isn’t trying to look for you and drag you back to that miserable life. Without him, you’re nobody again. You’re free.

That’s the greatest gift you could ever ask for.

“Could we?” you ask, hopeful. 

Already, you’re thinking of so many possibilities. Museum dates where he’d excitedly ramble about his favorite art pieces. Tiny concert halls where singers perform to a small, intimate crowd, and you and Namjoon are part of the audience. Coffee shops and bookstores, and cakes that are too cute and pretty to eat.

“Of course,” he replies, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. It’s hard to read his face when he adds, “I want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

Behind his sunglasses, you can feel his stare. “I don’t scare you?”

You frown, wondering where this is coming from. Again, you confirm, “You never scared me, Namjoon.”

“I want to believe you.”

But he doesn’t.

He always worried that he’d scare you off. That once you saw what kind of hybrid he is, you’d only see him as a monster.

Did something happen? Did you do something to upset him earlier? Was that why he seemed so sad when you greeted him at his study?

“Namjoon, what—?”

“Would you like me to bring anything else?” a waitress interrupts, eyeing on the finished plates and drinks on your table.

“No,” Namjoon tells her, giving her a polite smile as he takes out his wallet to pay for the meal. “That’s all.”

The hybrids are still awake when you and Namjoon arrive back at the manor. You barely step inside before strong arms engulf you in a hug.

“Welcome home!” Jungkook greets you.

Jimin smirks as he looks between you and Namjoon. “How was your date?”

Taehyung grabs a bag of snacks you got for them and peers inside. “What’s all this?”

“Give them some space, guys,” Seokjin lightly scolds them, shooing the youngest hybrids away from the door.

“Whoa, you brought a lot of stuff!” Hoseok exclaims as Namjoon helps you carry in your bags.

“Most of them are for you guys,” Namjoon explains, moving them away before Hoseok could take them.

“For us?” Yoongi questions, turning his attention to you. “What for?”

“It’s Christmas,” you remind them, letting Jungkook go so you could help bring your gifts upstairs.

Taehyung frowns. “But we didn’t get you anything.”

“That’s not the point,” you assure them, seeing their pinned ears and pouty lips. “It’s about being kind to each other. To celebrate the end of a long year together. To make your loved ones happy.”

You look at Namjoon then, but he’s already walking up the stairs. 

He makes you so happy. You’re afraid of messing things up. 

Part of you feels like, somehow, you already have.

It’s nearly midnight when you walk the empty halls of the east wing and head straight to the west side. You had a full day cleaning, decorating, and going on that date in town with Namjoon. You’ll have another full day wrapping presents, preparing party games and activities, and cooking a full feast. 

Then, it’ll be Christmas.

But the further you get to the west wing, the louder you hear it. The howls of the wind. The growls of a beast.

Namjoon is in his other form when you open the door to the master bedroom. He looks like he’s about to take off for the night, facing the opening in the corner of the room. 

“You’re leaving?”

Caught off guard, his eyes widen and he stops himself from jumping through the exposed ceiling. He backs away from where the moonlight touches, sinking into the shadows to hide. But then, as if reminding himself that he no longer has to hide from you, he reluctantly steps back under the silver glow of moonlight.

Despite how intimidating he looks, the beast within him is nervous around you.

It makes your heart drop.

“It’s okay. Come here.” 

You step closer to the beast as well, petting his snout and admiring the way his scales shine under the light. He watches you carefully, ready to back off at the slightest hint of fear or discomfort.

But you’re calm. Dare to say, even affectionate.

He closes his eyes and sighs. Even in this form, he seems content with your touch, of being this close to you. Your laugh breaks the silence when he nudges your hand for more.

“I’m sorry if I made you sad, Namjoon,” you tell him after a while. “I worry all the time that I’m not a good mate to you.”

His eyes fly open as something connects for him. Namjoon is back in his human form, but the surprise doesn’t leave his face. “Is that what you meant when you said you were afraid to love me?”

And suddenly, his distant behavior makes sense. All this time, he thought you were afraid of him. That his worst fear has come, and you’d refuse to be with him.

“The only thing I’m afraid of is that I can’t make you happy, Namjoon.”

“Impossible,” Namjoon says as his hand cups your face. “To be loved by you is the greatest gift I could ever ask for.”

It’s a cold winter’s day, but in the western wing of the old manor, you’re incredibly warm.

Sunlight peers through the tall windows and the exposed ceiling. The crisp air bites your skin as you stretch and yawn, arms popping from the layers of blankets over you. A chuckle catches your attention, and you turn to see Namjoon is already awake. There’s a soft expression on his face as he lies next to you, forlorn with a dimpled smile and so much love in his beautiful eyes.

“Good morning,” he greets you, his voice low and sleepy.

“Morning,” you whisper back, smiling as he leans down to kiss you. It feels nice. Reassuring. “How long have you been awake?”

“Not long. You’re beautiful even when you’re sleeping,” he tells you, distracted as his head lowers to kiss your neck, your collarbone, the top of your breasts. The blankets that he put over you last night slip around your bare body, unwrapping you like a present. His voice, somehow, becomes huskier as he adds, “I’m so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” you easily reply, shivering with pleasure at the contrast between the heat of your mate’s body and the cold, winter morning. With the anticipation of continuing where you left off last night, where, for once, loving felt easy. With Namjoon trailing kisses down your body and, with a dimpled smile, promising to warm you up.

And even if Kangdae’s voice still lingers in the back of your mind, claiming that you don’t deserve to be this happy, Namjoon quells it to a faint whisper.

Because with Namjoon, you’ll always be loved.

“You didn’t come to your room last night,” Yoongi observes, sipping on a cup of coffee.

Your face heats up a bit. “I didn’t know you were keeping tabs on me.”

“You’re human, but you’re one of us,” Seokjin casually explains as he places mugs of hot chocolate in front of you and Jungkook. “It’s in our instincts to look out for our pack.”

“Plus, you have Namjoon’s scent all over—”

“Enough,” Namjoon cuts in, perhaps just as flustered as you are. Yoongi just smirks and takes another sip of his coffee.

“I’m glad you two talked things out,” Jimin pushes anyway, grabbing a pastry that you got for them from the town. He throws a wink at you, black feathers bristling with pride. 

The bear-hybrid nods his head. “Yeah, I was worried Namjoon would never—”

“Taehyung!” Hoseok interrupts, not-so subtly gesturing at your hand. 

You hold it up, confused. You don’t see anything wrong with your hands. Jungkook takes your hand and examines it, also wondering what they mean. But chaos already erupted as the other hybrids yell over each other while, across from you, Namjoon lets out a long, heavy sigh.

Christmas is your favorite holiday, and on a cold, winter’s day, you celebrate it with the hybrids at the old manor. The decorations and the tree bring in the festive spirit as you hand them the gifts you wrapped: clothes, snacks, board games, vinyls, and other things you thought they’d like. A feast of meat, stews, poultry, roasted vegetables, and dessert were served. Games were played by the warmth of the fireplace and outside in the snow. And while the hybrids take turns singing karaoke in the game room, Namjoon takes your hand and pulls you away from everyone.

“Close your eyes,” he directs with a nervous smile. 

“What’s going on?” you ask, closing your eyes anyway. It feels a bit reminiscent of your first date with him, and he guides you to where he wants to take you. Your footsteps echo around the empty halls as rooms, as the voices of the other hybrids grow fainter.

It’s just you and Namjoon.

“You know,” he begins, opening a door and helping you down the small steps. “I’ve been picking up some shifts around the towns, and saving up some money.”

“It’s that why you’ve been so busy lately?”

“Yes, but I think it’ll be worth it,” he says, stopping you when the two of you reach your destination. You don’t need to open your eyes to know that you’re in his garden. The floral fragrance fills the air the moment you step inside the greenhouse. “I got you a present too.”

“You did?”

“It’s not much, but I redid this place for tonight,” he continues, moving behind you and allowing you to open your eyes.

When you do, you’re met with the full bloom of winter flowers and the soft, gentle glow of fairy lights that rival the twinkling stars in the night sky. Frosty windows and snow-covered grounds indicate the freezing temperature outside, but in here – inside the greenhouse – it’s warm. And the iridescent petals of the smeraldo flowers catch your attention. Between the strings of light and the moon, they reflect a magical shine.

Namjoon told you once that they mean “the truth untold.”

But now, there’s nothing to hide.

You turn to face Namjoon, meaning to tell him how his flowers have grown so beautifully. Or how adding the lights is such a nice touch to his little sanctuary.

But the words are lost to you when you turn around and see the look on his face. The gentle admiration in his eyes as he leans against a table.

“What is it?” you ask shyly.

“I was just thinking… Well, actually, I’ve thought about this for a while,” he begins to nervously babble. “I never thought we’d see each other again after you helped me on that stage all those years ago. I thought I lost you for good when you left the manor before I could tell you how much you mean to me. Even now, I wonder if staying at the manor is enough to keep you with me. If five, ten, twenty years from now, you’ll still be at my side.”

“I think I would,” you answer with such certainty. “To be loved by you is the greatest gift I could ever ask for as well.”

“Is that a promise?”

You watch as Namjoon gets off the table and slowly goes down on one knee. In his hand is a velvet box, carrying a ring – simple, pretty. How long has Namjoon been looking for work to save up for this? How long has he kept it with him, waiting for the right moment to finally ask you?

“I love you,” he continues, “and if you’ll have me, will you marry–”

You kiss him before he has a chance to finish his question.

“Oh, Taehyung, this is a perfect view!” you exclaim, smiling at the bear-hybrid. He swipes at his nose and shrugs, but it’s obvious on his face that he’s proud of the spot he found.

The eight of you are settled around a small campfire on the outskirts of a lively town. Seokjin and Jungkook disappear briefly to gather more wood for the fire – their bickering and teasing still within ear-shot to let you know they haven’t wandered too far. Yoongi immediately claims one of the foldable chairs and pours a bottle of cheap wine in a plastic glass. Taehyung sits on the cooler next to him, making a face of disgust when Yoongi lets him take a sip of his drink. Jimin neatly lays out the food on the picnic blanket, and Hoseok snaps pictures on a polaroid camera and shakes the film that prints out.

It’s the last day of the year. And within a few hours, a new day will begin.

You cozy up with Namjoon by the fire, captivated by the way the flames dance before you. It’s warm light catches the diamond on your engagement ring, and for maybe the hundredth time this week, you hold out your hand to admire it.

“I love you,” Namjoon whispers, kissing your temple. You whole-heartedly accepted him for what he is, and see all the good in him on days he only sees the ugly. You make his days feel less lonely, sharing your love for books, art, and nature with him. You take care of his pack; you brought Christmas to them. You stood up for him when he still called himself Rap Monster. How could he not fall in love with you?

“I love you, too. Always,” you reply, turning to kiss him. The way his lips feel against yours just feels right. Perfect.

Christmas is over, and after staying up with the hybrids by the warmth of the fire, you see the lively town below shooting fireworks to ring in the new year.

You and the hybrids toast and cheer, and grab each other for tight hugs and well wishes. The past year, you’ve rescued Jungkook, ran away from Kangdae, and started living with the others. Last year, you told Namjoon that you loved him, and the ring on your finger symbolizes that he loves you as well – that he’ll promise to protect and cherish you.

And as you find yourself back in Namjoon’s arms, sharing your first kiss with him for the year, you can’t help but feel like this is it.

This is what love is really like.

This is your happily ever after.

Thank you for reading ♡ Comments & reviews are greatly appreciated!

[mandatory-ftmbreeder]

i’ve never had an orgasm before and the constant horny of T is just hitting me this week… the closest i’ve ever gotten is after doing shit i’m not supposed to (by my own definition) so now i’m losing my mind trying to refrain from getting rid of my birth control, smoking too much, and trying to get knocked up

how does a guy deal with this long term 😭

the way I've dealt with it is honestly just a lot of jerking off LOL. I really have no idea how else to deal with it because i tend to give in to my needs very easily haha.

Back when i first started t it felt a little annoying at times because my horniness was almost all-consuming, even when i was around other people. Its calmed down a bit now so its not as consuming but i definitely still need to jerk off at least once every 2 days (sometimes every day) or i start to get irritated lolllll

So yeah in the early months/year of taking t its gonna be borderline impossible to really resist your arousal. Once you've been on it awhile, its a bit more feasible to try and distract yourself and focus on something else.

maybe you should re-evaluate why you think what you're doing is what you're 'not' supposed to be doing. If its helping get you close to orgasm then I don't think you should be ashamed of it. Lots of people get off to all kinds of crazy shit, so whatever it is probably isn't as weird as you might think it is.

also i think jerking off helps get rid of the urge to go out and do something stupid like let a random guy knock you up for real. So once you experience an orgasm it'll help sate that desire a bit.

i highly suggest getting a little bullet vibrator or something, they're not super expensive and they will seriously help a lot with making you orgasm.

[delulusionwl]

♡ I Can't Keep You Off My Diary ─ pt ii

♡ I Can't Keep You Off My Diary ─ pt i Pairing ── Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Reader! | Apollo!Daughter Word ── 4k Synopsis ── In wich Clarisse see drawings of herself in reader's diary, and after beign ignored for long days, confronts the Apollo daughter. Warnings ── Nothing, I believe. Pls let me know if I should warn something! A bit of angst? Idk. Maybe a kiss? This is a kiss warning. A/n ── Hello my fave demigods, this is delulu again lol! Finally dropped the second part of "I Can't Keep You Off My Diary". Huge thanks for all the love and kudos on the last post! ♡ I'm excited to bring more about the characters from pjo (and other series too, pls let me know if you have someone in mind) Images are not mine, so credit goes to the respective owners. English is not my native language, so sorry in advance if I messed anything up! *Y/n/n = Your nickname

Mortified. Disoriented. Shocked. Stunned. Devastated.

Y/n could list these and thousands of other words to describe her current state. The girl walked with heavy, deep steps toward her cabin, unintentionally ignoring some people who greeted her along the way. Her eyes were fixed on the ground, her face completely red, and the color even reached her ears.

"Worst. Day. Ever." Y/n thought, gritting her teeth in embarrassment as soon as her feet crossed the threshold of the cabin, slamming the door behind her without even noticing, drawing the attention of some of her siblings who were nearby.

The dark-haired girl marched to her bed and threw herself face down, screaming into the pillow as she thrashed on the mattress, angry, reliving the scene and becoming even more embarrassed.

The other children of Apollo who were in the cabin watched the scene with question marks above their heads, seeing Y/n bang her arms and legs on the bed while her face was buried in the pillow, muffling her scream. Anyone who saw her would think she was just angry and dissipating the feeling instead of hitting someone and getting a punishment from Chiron. But we know what was really happening.

As soon as Y/n stopped thrashing on the bed, she let out a muffled sigh and let her limbs collapse onto the mattress, while her mind replayed the scene over and over again.

"Y/n?" Grace, the girl with caramel-golden skin and eyes that blended green and amber, approached, sitting on her sister's bed. "What happened?" She finally asked, and with the silence in the cabin, you could hear a pin drop.

Everyone there wanted to know the reason for the commotion since Y/n wasn't usually like this. She rarely fought, and if she had to settle some scores, she'd do it in Capture the Flag. But everyone thought, "Finally, something got Y/n really upset?"

"Grace..." Y/n muttered, muffled, embarrassed, and almost on the verge of tears. "Grace, I’m mortified. I’ll never leave this cabin. Never."

Grace let out a nasal laugh and adjusted Y/n’s thick dark hair, which was slightly wavy from all the mess until she reached the cabin. "What happened that’s so bad?" She asked again, adjusting her sister's hair as she lay face down on the bed.

Grace's touch was so gentle and warm that Y/n felt a little calmer, and the gold-decorated nails on Grace’s fingers—since she had been playing with Emma and a gold pen—seemed to reflect all the girl's shine and the surrounding atmosphere.

Y/n lifted her head slightly and saw her closed diary on the bed, a little further away from Grace, and that was enough for her to mumble and bury her face back into the pillow, crying. Grace noticed Y/n's look and raised an eyebrow.

Everyone in the cabin knew about Y/n's diaries. It wasn't just one. Over the years, the girl had accumulated more and more, and the pages of the notebooks always seemed to run out too quickly, even though she had never torn a single page.

"It looks perfectly fine to me," Grace said, observing the notebook but not touching it. An unspoken rule about the Apollo cabin was: don’t touch other people’s things without permission, and the demigods there took it seriously, except for the younger or newer ones who sometimes broke the "silent rule"—but nothing a simple conversation couldn’t fix afterward. "Let me guess. Did someone read your diary?" Grace asked, hearing another scream from Y/n, who tried to bury herself even further into the mattress, causing the other girl to laugh.

Grace looked at the other siblings, waving them off gently. She’d be the one to calm Y/n down. The rest of the children of Apollo went back to what they were doing without any fuss.

"Was it that bad?" Grace asked.

"Bad?" Y/n sat up from the bed clumsily, her face still red. "Grace, it was horrible! Gods! I can never leave this cabin again. Never, got it? Damn, why did it happen like this?" Y/n said, crying and embarrassed, covering her face with her hands.

"Can I see?" Grace asked, even though she thought her request would be denied. But after a sigh, Y/n nodded silently.

That was enough for Grace to carefully pick up the notebook and open it, discreetly so the others wouldn't see what she was looking at. After flipping past just the first blank page, she finally understood why Y/n was almost as red as a tomato.

"Oh..." Grace said, surprised, flipping through the notebook, which made Y/n mutter. "Okay. Who saw this? The Aphrodite cabin or Ares? Gods, I don’t even know which is worse."

"Clarisse herself," Y/n said quietly, which left Grace even more surprised. "And two of her brothers."

"Oh!" Grace said, closing the notebook, earning a disgruntled and embarrassed murmur from her sister.

"I know..." Y/n said tiredly, still feeling flushed, and hugged her pillow. "I can't believe this is happening," she said, crying.

"It’s still no reason to lock yourself in here," Grace laughed, leaving the notebook aside on the bed, still smiling. "Since when...?"

"Honestly? I don’t know. It was just one day I started drawing her, and in the end... I just didn’t stop." Y/n said, feeling guilty, not looking at her sister.

"You know what this is, right?" Grace asked with an even bigger smile, catching the attention of the other girl, who was still punishing herself. Without words, the girl with the gold-painted nails and fingers made a heart shape with her index fingers in the air.

"Grace, it’s not funny."

"It’s not meant to be funny. Well, maybe just a little..."

"Seriously, by now, everyone at camp must know." Y/n said, hugging her legs and the pillow. "How embarrassing..."

"Don’t feel that way. I bet this will be an episode that won’t spread." Grace tried to ease Y/n’s worries. "Clarisse will take care of anyone who starts talking, so relax. She’d never let her own siblings tease her. But then again, maybe it’s not just you." The girl said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

"Clarisse has been giving you some glances." Grace traced her finger around Y/n’s face with a smile.

"Grace!" Y/n rolled her eyes. "No way."

"I’m serious, even the Aphrodite cabin has noticed. But we’re all keeping quiet for our own good, of course." The girl let out a little laugh. "Who would've thought..."

"Don’t get carried away."

"Not my fault." Grace raised her hands in surrender, still laughing softly. "Don’t take it too seriously, Y/n/n. Lie down and rest until dinner." Her words earned a grumble from Y/n, which made Grace laugh and pat her sister’s shoulder as she got up to finish her own things.

On the other hand, Alec and Darius had been giving Clarisse mischievous and amused glances from the moment they started heading to the Hephaestus workshop until they returned to their cabin. However, before they could enter, Clarisse blocked the door, her death stare aimed at both brothers.

"If you open your mouths..." The girl said, irritated, pointing at each of them, who barely managed to hold back their laughter.

"Relax, Clari." Darius said, unable to control his chuckle for much longer.

"Nothing’s coming out of my mouth." Alec said in response, slightly better at keeping his excitement in check.

"Try anything and you’ll be dead by morning." Clarisse said, storming into the cabin like a hurricane, throwing herself onto the couch in the strategy area, ignoring the others who were around.

One of her sisters, unaware of what had just happened, joined Clarisse to plan for the upcoming Capture the Flag game, as Clarisse was the one who practically designed all the strategies. However, even though she tried, the girl wasn’t paying attention to what her sister was saying. Every now and then, she simply nodded silently, her mind drifting back to what had happened earlier that morning.

Clarisse didn’t want to admit it. Maybe she never would, not even in death, but she had enjoyed looking at the drawings in Y/n’s diary. As soon as her eyes landed on the lines that curved and outlined her own face on the white pages, she felt the world stop for a brief moment while her heart raced like never before.

"Damn." The daughter of Ares thought, feeling her heart beat a little faster as she remembered the image of herself above faceless bodies, holding her spear high, adorned with a beautiful armor. May the gods not hear her, but she wanted that drawing for herself. "What am I thinking?"

"Clarisse?" Joscelin asked, bringing Clarisse’s attention back, her cheeks slightly flushed. "What do you think?"

Clarisse swallowed imperceptibly, furrowing her brows and adjusting herself on the couch, nodding. "Sure." The daughter of Ares agreed without even hearing what the other had said.

Then, Joscelin spoke again, but Clarisse’s thoughts drifted back to what had happened. The girl remembered the pressed and dried rose that was on one of the pages, the same page with her drawing, smiling gently, with the same rose in her hair.

Clarisse suppressed a breath. "Was that flower meant for me?" She wondered internally, feeling something strange in her stomach. That sensation only grew stronger when she thought that she wanted that flower for herself. After that last thought, the daughter of Ares stood up quickly, heading straight for the door and making her way to the camp’s training area, even as she heard Joscelin call out, "Clarisse?!"

"What’s with her?" Joscelin asked, looking at the others, who had finally noticed how quickly Clarisse had left the cabin. Some shrugged and didn’t care, but Darius and Alec exchanged mischievous looks. Reading each other’s minds. "Dumb and Dumber, what do you know about this?" Joscelin asked the two.

"It’s a secret." Darius said, not bothered by his sister’s joke, which made Alec laugh even more.

"Spill it." Joscelin said.

"Not even dead, literally. Clarisse would kill us." Alec replied, laughing even more, and soon Darius joined in. As the two left to do their own thing, still chuckling, Joscelin rolled her eyes and pushed it aside, hoping that whatever it was, it hadn't messed with Clarisse's mind for the Capture the Flag game.

Clarisse, nervously caught up in her own thoughts, hurried with quick steps to the camp's training area, quickly donning the mandatory safety gear and grabbing a random sword just to start delivering fast and strong strikes to her usual training dummy.

The girl tried to focus only on her task of hitting the poor dummy, but her thoughts always returned to the same place. To the same memory. And each time it happened—which was many—her strikes grew faster and more powerful.

The demigods passing by and training nearby watched with some concern, but of course, none were brave enough to say anything to Clarisse. Some even chose to cut their training short, not wanting to be the next target of the daughter of Ares.

After several minutes of trying to shake her thoughts, Clarisse sighed and set aside her strikes, glaring at the dummy in frustration. She was finally thinking about the beginning. Since Y/n’s arrival at camp and how Clarisse had never been so aggressive or petulant with her "jokes."

Her heart raced as she noticed things about herself connected to Y/n. Finally, everything made sense; it was even clearer now. "Do I like Apollo on mute?" The girl thought, a crease forming between her brows.

With that question ringing in her mind, she scanned the area with little interest, trying to find answers, until she saw a small group of Apollo’s children heading somewhere, and Clarisse tried to spot Y/n among them.

A snap happened in her curly-haired head as she blinked a few times, remembering she’d been looking for Y/n in the camp pavilion, just like she used to look for her by the celebratory bonfires. She remembered herself tracing the contours of Y/n with her eyes, noting how she blended into the surroundings and how she seemed to shine under the sunlight, covered by her less colorful features. She recalled that whenever she saw Y/n, she would go up to her and pour out her weird jokes, each one becoming less teasing and rude than the last, unlike how she treated other demigods.

Clarisse didn’t know when this had started, but she knew it had happened. "I like Apollo on mute," she thought.

The girl didn’t know how to react. She wasn’t angry, but she wasn’t happy either. It was a new feeling, a bit uncomfortable, her stomach felt strange. Clarisse had heard about what it was like to like someone, and before, she’d felt those same sensations, only for battle, the taste of future victory. Clarisse, like all other children of Ares, had been in love with the fight, but now, she was in love with one of Apollo’s daughters.

"How ironic." Clarisse chuckled to herself, but without showing a smile.

Noticing the day had finally turned dark, Clarisse took off her gear and placed it in its rightful place, heading toward the pavilion while thinking that she should do something about this.

When she arrived, she saw the usual gathering of demigods, most of them already sitting, while others prepared their food. As always, her eyes quickly scanned the room, looking for the presence of a certain someone, and it didn't take long before her eyes landed on who she was looking for. Y/n.

The daughter of Apollo was looking around the pavilion like a frightened animal, tapping her foot on the ground as she grabbed her food from the buffet beside some of her siblings. As soon as their eyes met, Y/n gasped and widened her eyes, quickly moving away from the buffet area and squeezing into her siblings to make her offering, doing so quickly to avoid giving Clarisse the chance to move from her spot.

"Hey!" Brandon complained, holding his plate tightly before Y/n nearly knocked it over in her haste, but he was ignored.

"Sorry, Dad, this will be quick." Y/n said, making her offering, burning part of her food in the fire before almost running to her cabin’s table.

Before Clarisse could make her way to the Apollo table, her attention was diverted.

"Clari, grab your plate and come on!" Olivia, one of her sisters, said as she passed by.

Reluctantly, the daughter of Ares did as she was told, seeing that everyone in her cabin was eager about the upcoming Capture the Flag game, and any place was good enough for them to talk about it. Even in the crowded pavilion, just to put fear into the other demigods.

Her eyes stayed on Y/n, who quickly averted her gaze from Clarisse and nervously tried to start a conversation with her siblings. The daughter of Ares thought to herself, "Not today, but tomorrow you won't escape."

Clarisse grabbed her food, made her offering, and sat at her cabin's table, listening to her siblings talk and occasionally joining in the conversations, with her eyes always drifting back to the Apollo cabin's table.

♡

"Tomorrow," Clarisse thought angrily, eyeing her spear as she donned her vest for Capture-the-Flag. "Tomorrow, you won't escape." She mimicked her thoughts from weeks ago in a low, sharp voice, almost rolling her eyes, still irritated.

"What’s this, Clarisse? Talking to yourself?" Liam asked, lightly amused, still inside the cabin along with a few other Ares kids who were getting ready for Capture-the-Flag, which was about an hour away.

"None of your business," Clarisse grumbled.

"Hey, take it easy!" Liam replied with a grin. "Me and the others are heading out. Whatever’s been on your mind all this time, shake it off—we’ve got a flag to catch today." Liam said as he left the cabin, followed by three other siblings who continued chatting among themselves, causing Clarisse to roll her eyes.

Clarisse couldn't help but recall Y/n avoiding her like a camper avoiding an unexpected mission. The daughter of Apollo seemed to have adjusted her entire schedule to avoid bumping into Clarisse, from combat training to history lessons. But Clarisse was waiting for the moment to approach—when she would find Y/n walking through camp, carefree.

It had happened a few times, of course. But whenever Y/n made eye contact with Clarisse, she did one of the following: 1) She would sprint off like a madwoman, disappearing after just a few seconds. Clarisse remembered how fast Y/n was after their physical training sessions together, and now she found herself cursing Y/n's agility. 2) She would latch onto any nearby demigod and start talking nonsense, pulling them away from Clarisse. Y/n was good at starting and maintaining conversations, even though she wasn’t surrounded by friends. And of course, all of this was getting under Clarisse’s skin.

Irritated, Clarisse got out of bed and marched toward the field where they usually prepared for Capture-the-Flag. Only a few demigods were around, and those who were kept their distance, sensing the stormy mood of Clarisse.

However, it wasn't until she passed one of the cabins that she glanced to the side and saw someone else also heading to the field—it was Y/n, distracted as she examined her bow, her divine gift.

Clarisse quickened her pace silently, closing the distance until she reached Y/n and grabbed her arm, pulling her toward the nearest cabin, hearing the surprised murmur from the daughter of Apollo.

As soon as the daughter of Ares pinned Y/n against the wall, Y/n’s eyes widened in shock.

"C-Clarisse?" Y/n asked nervously, her cheeks starting to heat up as she remembered that earlier in the day, she had picked up her diary again just to doodle something. But before she knew it, her hand had sketched Clarisse, stunned with the notebook in her hands. And once again, she recalled what had happened weeks before.

"No. Apollo, I’m going to pull the sun out of my pocket." Clarisse responded sarcastically. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"Avoiding?" Y/n asked. "I’m not avoiding you… what are you talking about?" The daughter of Apollo laughed nervously, swallowing hard, not meeting Clarisse's gaze.

Clarisse looked at her seriously, causing Y/n to feel flustered and shyly glance at her, starting to feel embarrassed.

"The diary," Clarisse began after a brief pause, and that was enough to make Y/n almost jump out of her skin.

"Forget about it. I—I didn’t want you to see that, it was a secret... but even if it wasn't, you..." Y/n started nervously, trying to fix what had happened, but her words were enough to make Clarisse slam her hand against the wood behind Y/n, close to her head, causing the daughter of Apollo to shrink back.

"Let me speak?" Clarisse said, annoyed. "I see the damn diary and then you run off like... I don’t know, a satyr running from a flood?" Her narrowed eyes were locked on Y/n’s, who swallowed hard.

"Sorry," Y/n muttered softly, which earned a sarcastic, nasal laugh from Clarisse.

"You gave me one hell of a headache, girl."

"It wasn't... my intention," Y/n whispered, avoiding the girl in front of her, who was still slightly leaning against the wood that Y/n's back was pressed against. "Clarisse, just... forget it, okay?" Y/n said, preparing to walk back to where all the demigods were already gathered, waiting for the game to begin.

"You’re not going anywhere until I’m done talking." Clarisse said seriously, pushing Y/n back into place with her finger on her shoulder. "What? You think you can sketch all these things about me and not face me?" This made Y/n mutter under her breath.

"I didn’t want you to see!" Y/n grumbled, a little irritated, but still embarrassed, and Clarisse let out a nasal, sarcastic laugh at the pink tint of the girl’s cheeks, along with her slight irritation. "Besides, you shouldn’t care about what I draw in my diaries." Y/n swallowed hard, trying to maintain a confident and unshaken pose.

"Concern isn’t exactly what I’m feeling." Clarisse shrugged, her sharp, penetrating gaze locked on Y/n’s. "But you have a reason for it. Why am I in your diary? And don’t tell me I’m just a model because that won’t fly."

"A-a... Well... y-you..." Y/n tried to respond, glancing nervously at Clarisse, anxious and embarrassed. She soon remembered Grace making a heart with her fingers, feeling her face burn even hotter as her heart raced in her chest. "Argh, it was a mistake. Forget it."

Y/n tried to move away from Clarisse once more, but the other girl simply pressed her other hand against the wooden wall—still holding her spear firmly in her fist, trapping Y/n between her arms.

"C-Clarisse... the game," Y/n tried to remind the girl, looking at her arms on either side of her body.

"You’re not convincing me," Clarisse said, acting as if the proximity didn’t affect her, but in truth, her heart was pounding. Having Y/n so close made the butterflies in her stomach feel stronger, and the soft scent of Y/n's perfume was very pleasing. "And besides, I told you, you're not leaving until I’m done talking."

Y/n swallowed hard, breathing shakily with Clarisse’s closeness. Her heart was also racing, and the girl clenched her fists tightly—one of them wrapped around her bow with the same intensity, trying to keep Clarisse from noticing just how much more nervous she was.

"I’m waiting. Why am I in your diary?" Clarisse asked softly, with a nearly feline tone, trying to prove her point.

Y/n swallowed hard, taking in every detail of the close Clarisse, still trapped between her arms, knowing her mind would store all the details of this moment to draw in her diary. Once more. Perhaps one last time.

The daughter of Apollo lowered her gaze to Clarisse’s lips, which were close but still far enough. The same lips now curled into a small smile, perhaps a playful one this time, but with a touch less malice than when she was ready to tease some demigod.

Y/n thought, trembling and out of breath, finally confirming to herself why Clarisse had appeared in so many pages of her diaries: I like Clarisse.

"Cat got your tongue?" Clarisse asked, tilting her head, trying to catch Y/n’s eyes with her own. She was enjoying pulling these reactions from the daughter of Apollo.

"I like you," Y/n blurted out quickly, holding her breath and closing her eyes, afraid of what she might see next. But Clarisse smiled wider this time, satisfied—yet still entertained. "A-and I know it’s not mutual, so let’s just ignore this and move on—"

Before Y/n could nervously continue speaking, with her eyes tightly shut, Clarisse interrupted by placing one of her free hands on the heated, red face of the girl, silencing her with a simple, soft kiss.

Y/n’s eyes widened as she felt Clarisse’s soft lips against hers, and her face turned an even deeper shade of red, if that was even possible. With her free hand, the daughter of Apollo held the other girl’s forearm, closing her eyes and kissing her back, still trembling and anxious.

Clarisse was being gentle, knowing how easily Y/n got scared of things—this was proven by all her escapes over the past weeks. So, the girl kept the kiss soft and slow, gently stroking Y/n's face with her thumb before releasing her, easing away. Gentle and careful—two things Clarisse never thought she’d act like with anyone. But here she was, with the daughter of the sun, who more and more lit her up with her inner sunlight.

The daughter of Ares pulled away, her face slightly flushed, as she watched Y/n open her eyes and take a deep breath, swallowing hard, which made Clarisse chuckle softly, a smug grin on her face.

"Sorry," Clarisse began to say, and her words made Y/n tilt her head in confusion, not understanding why Clarisse was apologizing or how that word even left her lips—since it was so unlike her. "But I’m not going to lose the Capture the Flag just because you’re on the opposing team. Next time, I want you on my team." Clarisse said with that same cocky smile, stepping away from Y/n and looking her up and down, which made the daughter of Apollo feel even more embarrassed. "I’ll see you after the game, Apollo on mute, I want to take a second look at your diary. And don’t even think about running away from me again."

With that, the daughter of Ares turned her back and started making her way back to the playing field, leaving behind a breathless and embarrassed Y/n, her mind racing at full speed, knowing that her diary would soon have page after page dedicated to Clarisse.

Because the daughter of Apollo couldn't keep the daughter of Ares out of it.

< Part 1

[courtj345]

distracting yourself really works wonders, learn about the different states your brain goes into to help you achieve pure consciousness cos it really is that easy. just make sure you are relaxed first you want to enter this meditation with a clear mind so do some deep breathing first i promise it will help just do anything to take your mind off whatever u are stressing/thinking about when you feel more calm do your meditation!! ✨ i like to do alpha state first and i think the key (key for me anyway) is to set intention you are doing it for relaxation it will help you enter it knowing ur not trying to force it because you want instant manifestation that can be achieved ONCE ur aware ur in it, intend to yourself that you are doing it solely to relax that way you won’t keep focusing on your 3d or your senses you are purely focused on your mind. lie where you feel comfortable, personally i like to lie on top of my sheets i think it’s more of a subconscious signal if im getting into bed that im in there to sleep, i like to levitate my body against the pillows a bit to keep myself a bit more awake but not enough that it’s uncomfy for me🌟 have read many success stories about yoga nidra which first time i attempted i felt myself properly float it felt like i floated up to ceiling in my room was so freaky but i kept calm, second time i got to a point my heart accelerated so fast i couldn’t feel anything but my own heartbeat but i was also too tired to focus so fell asleep. but last night i purely did this for relaxation cos i already had the knowing i can manifest what i want when i enter, if i try to force it with the intention of manifesting i know ill keep focusing on my senses and 3d too much so i decided to just relax and not care which i think helps, reading upon your states help but delta state is probably the closest state to pure consciousness and yoga nidra helps with that. obviously you can do whatever you want, this is just what works for me, but don’t sit and read upon methods and methods i promise. you will know what works for you. do you prefer visualisation/day dreaming? is it something you’ve done since u were a kid to a point u forget about all ur surroundings? or do you prefer affirming? affirming to the point you focus on nothing but your affirmations? of you prefer just focusing on your breath? or do you like counting? point is you HAVE to find what works for you not trying to attempt what someone else did. i just happened to find yoga nidra really works for me cos i have adhd so i can’t focus on affirming for too long and this also just REALLY helps to relax my mind to a point anyway last night i actually forgot the video was even playing 😭 i was so relaxed i just started day dreaming, you know kinda how you fall asleep during a movie and wake up and realise you have missed part of the movie. yeah felt like that for me, i was so zoned out on imagining stuff i forgot the video was even playing and pretty sure i couldn’t even hear it either i also was sure i was in void state i just wasn’t aware of it i was only aware of my day dreams that i came back to my senses and was confused how it was near the end of the video it felt like i fell asleep for 5m but i wasn’t asleep i was aware. you all will be able to induce pure consciousness stop stressing, find a comfortable position, set your intention to do it for relaxation, breathe/affirm/daydream whatever u want and you’ll forget your surroundings completely! i was there last night i just wasn’t even aware of it i was too focused on imagining stuff lol and boom you will induce it!

the distraction method by @luckykiwiii101 works wonders as well omg 🤭

[digitizeden]

── Shifting Storytime 🏐

Hello! I am back with maybe a long storytime about a shift I had a few years ago. I wanted too go back to my roots and talk about one of my early shifts to Haikyuu.

�─────────────────────────────────────────�

I had this shift sometime around the end of 2021, and I had just been getting in the flow of shifting at this time, so this was the longest I had ever spent in a DR at this point.

Haikyuu was actually supposed to be the first reality I shifted to; however, I didn't make it there the first time. So I had been thinking about shifting to Haikyuu for weeks and finally just laid down to do it.

I remember lying down to do my method, and I didn't even think it was working until I turned over and suddenly got really tired. I ended up falling asleep for what felt like a minute but when I woke up, I heard my phone chime and instinctively went out to grab it and realized that the layout of my room was different and so was my phone.

I opened my eyes to realize I had shifted and took a moment to process before seeing who texted me; it was Kenma. I texted back and forth with him for a bit and got up to go get ready for club. I think one of my favorite parts of shifting is just how natural it feels and that feeling of thinking of random memories and things you have to do in your DR, like I just innately knew what time I had to get to club and what we were doing that day (which, yeah, obviously, but it's still cool to think about).

I went to club and then to class. I hung out with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi after school, and we visited this local arcade and ate food afterwards, which was really fun. I won a few plushies and a new figure from the claw machines and brought them home. As soon as I got home, I pretty much immediately played Roblox with Kenma, and we called for a few hours. We both also found out that we actually only live like 20 minutes away from each other, which is wild lol.

I have a lot more Haikyuu stories, but this is all I feel like typing for now lol. Anyways, very happy shifting to you all. ⭐ ──

[uceyliyahh]

NOVACANE

Summary: After dealing with a traumatic event in Desiree's past life she decided to keep her heart closed off and didn't have any desire to love again until she met him.

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE, PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

word count: 6513

Jey Uso x Desiree

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic

@hunnidmilly @celesteheartsjey @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @luvrsluxe @4milly @xbriexx @trippinsorrows @yyaktayak

Ø3

"I love you and only you,"

"I'm not like him, I am way more different from him,"

"Imma take care of you princess,"

"You Belong to me,"

OMNISCIENT Desiree found herself longing for Jey more and more each day as he traveled the globe for his wrestling tour. With every new experience he shared, she couldn't help but wish she were by his side, exploring the world together.

He would reach out to her through calls, texts, and even share pictures, and she reciprocated in kind. Desiree found herself reflecting deeply on their conversation from the other night when he visited her.

'I'm committed to staying by your side, ready to offer you the reassurance and love you truly deserve, if you allow me to.' This thought echoed in her mind, a reminder of his desire to love her in the way she needed after all she had been through. She found herself uncertain about whether she was prepared for that level of commitment because of her past experiences. However, Jey proves to her daily that he is not like Jayden; he is truly different.

At the workplace, the dynamics have shifted significantly. Ke'Liyah consistently shot disdainful looks at Desiree, spreading rumors that labeled her as desperate and promiscuous for her inability to maintain a relationship. However, Desiree remained unfazed by the negativity. She confidently asserted herself, ensuring that everyone knew she wouldn't tolerate such disrespect.

It was beyond her control that a striking Samoan man like him fell for her the moment he stepped through that door. When Bianca called, she shared every detail of the whirlwind of emotions and events that had unfolded since they left the house.

Bianca felt a surge of joy for her best friend and offered to fly her out to one of their house shows, ensuring she could spend time with Jey.

OTP Binky💗: girrrl you're goin to see me kick some ass out there! Desi🫶🏽: yeah I can't wait either I would always watch it on TV but not in person Binky💗: I know you wanna see yo' man Desi🫶🏽: he's not my man B Binky💗: girl that man loves you why don't you give him a chance? Desi🫶🏽: because I don't wanna just jump into a whole new relationship you know? After dealing with...Jayden Binky💗: I understand honey, but don't scare him off he seems genuine like I know the twins for a while now sis Desi🫶🏽: I hear you B, I hear you

Desiree took the time to meticulously pack all her belongings and ensure everything was in order before calling an Uber to the airport, guaranteeing that she wouldn't miss her flight.

Binky💗: you like Tennessee so far? Desi🫶🏽: yes I do honestly they have some good food and places down here to shop Binky💗: I agree Desi you got a Uber to the airport? Desi🫶🏽: yes and I'll be there Binky💗: text me when you arrive okay? Desi🫶🏽: kk

CALLED ENDED

Desiree noticed that her Uber driver was just two minutes away as she made her way downstairs with her small suitcase in tow. Despite the rain, she was grateful to have her hoodie on hand for such weather.

Jey was completely unaware that she was planning to surprise him, an act that was out of character for her. It was as if he was bringing out a side of her that she had long kept hidden from the world, allowing her to embrace her true self in a way she never thought possible.

Well except her best friend of course

For him, everything felt different; she would never make the effort to see a man she missed. As she arrived at the airport, she picked up her luggage and made her way inside the terminal to board her flight.

She informed Bianca that she had arrived at the airport and was just about to pick up her ticket for the flight to Cali, where they would be attending Monday Night Raw later tonight.

As she strolled toward the gate where the plane awaited, she settled onto a nearby seat, her book bag slung comfortably over her shoulder. Pulling out her iPad, she immersed herself in creating designs for her tattoos, a perfect way to pass the time before her flight.

Desiree embarked on her first day as a tattoo artist at the shop, and the customers were immediately drawn to her unique designs, particularly her Samoan artwork. Her deep admiration for Samoan culture shines through in her creations, which is why she felt such a strong connection to Jey's body art, appreciating the stories and meanings behind each piece.

She would never consider doing this for Jayden, especially since they are no longer together. Despite receiving threatening messages from unknown numbers, she consciously decides to ignore them.

"Flight B12 will be boarding now flight b12 will be boarding now from Tennessee to California,"

Desiree quickly gathered her belongings as she stood in line to board the plane. After her ticket was scanned, she made her way inside, relieved to find that her seat was unoccupied. This fortunate arrangement allowed her to enjoy her journey without any interruptions.

As she settled into her seat, she tucked her book bag between her legs. The familiar buzz of her phone in her pocket caught her attention. When she pulled it out, a smile spread across her face as she noticed a text from Jey.

IMESSAGE 💬 Joshua💵: hey mama Desiree🦋: hey Joshua💵: what you doing? Desiree🦋: I'm just busy on my iPad rn hbu? Joshua💵: in my locker room, thinking about you I miss you Desiree🦋: if I'm being honest I miss you too, I never missed someone this much Joshua💵: you'll get to see me soon mama Desiree🦋: I hope so Joshua💵: we can handle long distance together imma prove myself to you everyday Desiree🦋: okay but I gotta go I'll ttyl Joshua💵: aight mamas

Desiree activated airplane mode on her phone just as the plane prepared for takeoff. She slipped on her wireless headphones, selected her favorite tunes, and reclined her head against the seat, allowing her eyes to gently close.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Desiree booked a nearby hotel and informed Bianca of her arrival, mentioning that she was on her way to the arena to see them. Understandably, she felt a wave of nerves; this was her first time attempting such a surprise for Jey.

It hasn't been long since they last met, so why wouldn't she take this opportunity? Dressed in a stylish black crop-top and relaxed baggy jeans, along with her favorite slides, Desiree glanced in the mirror and admired her reflection. She felt confident and ready for the night ahead, applying a touch of lip gloss and rubbing her lips together to achieve that perfect "pop" effect.

biancabelairwwe replied to your story: Can't wait to see you girly uceyjucey replied to your story: where you goin mama? y2kjayden replied to your story: man you're such a whore where you heading to now? I think in I'm that area ke'liyah replied to your story: finna go steal someone else's man?

Desiree simply rolled her eyes at the responses from Jayden and Ke'Liyah. She refused to let their negativity affect her. Taking a final glance in the mirror, she then checked her phone and noticed that her Uber driver was in route.

She had never felt more confident for a man she had just met, even though he was encouraging her to embrace her true self. Just as she was about to leave, her phone buzzed with a notification that the Uber driver had arrived. With a quick grab of her purse and house keys, she stepped out the door, ready for the adventure ahead.

Desiree climbed into the Uber driver's car, ready for the ride to the arena.

Desiree arrived at the arena, her excitement palpable as she noticed the lengthy line stretching ahead of her. Grateful, she thanked the driver before stepping out of the car. As she approached the building, her eyes were drawn to the vibrant array of merchandise and championship belts displayed all around her.

She aimed to find something that symbolized Bianca and Jey, so she chose to purchase their shirts as a way to show her support. After acquiring the shirts, she joined the line to have her ticket scanned.

She navigated the security line and quickly sent a text to Bianca, letting her know she had arrived.

IMESSAGE 💬 Desi🫶🏽: hey I'm here Binky💗: hey! I'll come get you, you ready to see me and your man whoop some asses tonight? Desi🫶🏽: one last time B he isn't my man Binky💗: if he wasn't then you wouldn't be here right? see he's getting you out of your shell Desi Desi🫶🏽: whatever you say I'm just here to support you Binky💗: you're in such denial about him 😭😭 Desi🫶🏽: I'm not in denial Bianca 🙄 Binky💗: you say that now and then the next you'll be all over him I know you Desiree Desi🫶🏽: what the fuck ever Bianca let's stop talking about him and come get me 😒 Binky💗: aight aight calm down I'm down the hallway you should see me waving my hand at you Desi🫶🏽: kk

Desiree scanned the room and spotted Bianca, who was enthusiastically waving and beaming with joy. With a warm smile, Desiree made her way over and enveloped Bianca in a heartfelt embrace.

"Finally I get to see you, you know it's so boring at home," Desiree said.

"Hey, I'll be home after this tour, maybe Jey will be home too," she teased as Desiree nudge her in her arm.

"What??? I'm just saying,"

Desiree sighed dramatically as they strolled backstage toward her locker room. Along the way, she noticed numerous wrestlers preparing for their matches or chatting with friends, creating a lively atmosphere that buzzed with excitement.

As her gaze swept the room, she searched for Jey, longing to see him, to embrace him, to kiss him—she missed him deeply. Bianca observed that Desiree's attention was drifting away from their conversation, her eyes scanning the surroundings instead.

Bianca knew that Desiree had falling for Jey but didn't want to admit it due to her past, "If you're looking for Jey his locker room is down the hallway," what Bianca said had caught Desiree off guard blinking her eyes a few times before she could process what Bianca just said.

"What?" Desiree said.

"I said if you're looking for Jey his locker room is down the hallway." she repeated.

Desiree shook her head, "I'm not looking for him, let's go to your locker room B," Bianca chuckled at her as they went towards her locker room.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

DESIREE I found myself in Bianca's locker room, captivated by the intense match unfolding between Jimmy Uso and Solo. The two competitors bore a striking resemblance, almost as if they were brothers or closely related to Jey. As I watched, Jimmy delivered a stunning superkick right to Solo's face while he clung to the ropes. The impact was electrifying, and moments later, Jimmy unleashed another superkick, sending Solo tumbling over the ropes in a dramatic fashion.

The match turned out to be quite captivating, and I couldn't help but wonder if I would spot him in the crowd tonight. As I watched the action unfold, I noticed a figure in a black hoodie attacking Jimmy, delivering punches and kicks. It was a shocking moment that added an unexpected twist to the event.

I sensed that something was about to unfold as I watched them surround Jimmy, the sound of his music echoing in the background. Suddenly, there he was, emerging from the gorilla, charging into the ring to assist Jimmy.

I was completely captivated by his remarkable looks and graceful agility in the ring; it was hard to believe that this was his career. After unleashing a flurry of devastating super kicks to their faces, they all hurriedly exited the ring, doubled over in agony.

As the show transitioned to a commercial break, an overwhelming desire to visit him surged within me. Yet, I couldn't shake the thought that he might be preoccupied with other matters. Just then, the door creaked open, and in stepped Bianca, her appearance a whirlwind of sweat and fluster.

"Damn girl, who you been fighting?" I said.

"Miss Tiffany and Nia girl, they're so annoying," she said.

"I believe I spotted Jey heading into his locker room; it might be a great idea for you to go surprise him." But then again, how could she know what I was thinking? A wave of anxiety washed over me as I wrestled with my doubts. 'What if he doesn't want to see me?' 'What if there's someone else with him?' My mind was racing with all these unsettling thoughts, and Bianca seemed to pick up on my unease.

"Desi, enough with the overthinking! Just go see him," I said with a sigh, grabbing my purse and phone as I made my way to his locker room.

While making my way to his locker room, I unexpectedly collided with someone, landing squarely on my backside and gazing up at the individual.

"Oh my goodness I am so sorry, let me help you," Trinity said as she helped me up.

I brushed myself off and quickly offered my apologies for colliding with her. She smiled and reassured me it was no problem, but there was a spark of recognition in her eyes. "You're Desiree, aren't you? Bianca's best friend?" she inquired, and I confirmed with a nod.

"Yeah? And you are?"

"I'm Trinity, you the girl Jey has been raving about all week." It brought a smile to my face knowing he brags about me to his friends. We exchanged a handshake before diving into our conversation.

I mentioned to her that I was visiting Bianca and Him today to show my support before returning home for work, only to discover that she was Jey's sister-in-law.

She escorted me to his locker room and embraced me warmly, knowing she had an interview to attend shortly. Once Trinity departed, I knocked on his door, my heart racing with anticipation. I felt a mix of nerves and excitement at the thought of seeing him again after several months apart.

I could hear soft footsteps approaching the door, and as it swung open, I found myself staring up at him. Jey looked effortlessly amazing, his shirt absent and revealing his striking tribal tattoos. He wore black yeet sweats that perfectly complemented his laid-back style.

Including his Cuban link sliver chain over his neck, I could smell his cologne which smelt so good he had a smile appearing on his face before pulling me in for a hug.

"Mamas? What'chu doing here girl!" Jey exclaimed as he gave me a bear hug.

As he pulled me into his locker room and closed the door, I instinctively wrapped my arms and legs around him. He kissed my lips softly several times before gently setting me back on my feet, his hands firmly gripping my hips.

"Surprise, I came to see you," I said.

"You? Came to see me? That's new mama, I guess I am doing something right," he said as we began to chuckle.

I relaxed my shoulders, feeling a wave of relief wash over me as all my concerns and doubts about his happiness vanished in an instant. "So, where are you staying?"

"I'm staying at a hotel right now at the moment why?" I asked.

"Imma come see you so we could spend time with each other tonight if you're free," I truly missed him, and reconnecting would be the ideal way to make up for all the time we lost while being apart.

I felt a rush of excitement as his hands glided down to my backside, gripping me tightly and sending shivers through my body. With my arms wrapped around his neck, I gazed deeply into his eyes, overwhelmed by the thought, 'How can someone be so perfect? Perfect for someone as flawed as I am?' I leaned in even closer, and he mirrored my movement, our lips finally meeting in a soft, electrifying kiss.

As our lips danced together, I found myself surrendering to the warmth of his embrace. Deep down, I questioned whether I was truly in love with him, even if I was reluctant to acknowledge it. Jey's tongue playfully explored my mouth as he effortlessly lifted me by the thighs, carrying me to his couch.

He gently set me on the couch, positioning himself between my legs, our lips locked in an unbroken kiss.

"Fuck, I missed you so much baby," Jey muttered.

"I did too..." I muttered back, 'did I just say I missed this man?'

The kiss was messy and passionate, his tongue dancing in my mouth as I felt his arousal pressing against me. Jey broke the kiss, his gaze drifting down to the outfit I had chosen for the day.

"Damn, you look good mama, you did all this for me?" he asked.

I shot him an exasperated look, then playfully put my finger to my lips with a smile, "perhaps." Jey responded by kissing me again, this time moving to my neck, which made me let out a soft moan.

A grin blossomed on his face as he firmly yet gently held my throat, showering my neck with tender kisses. I surrendered to the moment, tilting my head back and allowing him to take control.

I whispered his name gently, hoping only he would catch the depth of my longing for him. 'Desi? Are you really letting him in?' 'Calm down,' I thought to myself, torn between the urge to push him away and the desire to keep him close.

His allure was so captivating that it felt like a powerful drug, one I couldn't break free from no matter how hard I tried. I gently traced my thumb along his cheeks, pressing my lips against his, as we lost ourselves in a rhythm that felt perfectly in tune.

As I arched my back in pleasure, I felt Jey lift up my shirt and latch onto my breast, swirling his tongue over my nipple. This man is going to kill me. "Oh my god, Josh, Fuck." As he sucked on my breast, I moaned.

"Shit, come use those pretty lips of yours mama," he pulled away from my breast as I was pulling down on his sweats seeing his dick ready to pop out from his boxers.

I pulled down his red PSD boxers down as his dick spring up hitting me in the face, I don't think it could fit down my throat even if I tried, I grabbed his shaft and began placing kisses on it while gazing up at him.

He was gazing down at me caressing my hair as I began swirling my tongue around his mushroom tip before going down on him, I heard nothing but moans escaping his lips.

Jey threw his head back in pleasure while gripping onto my hair while I felt his hips thrusting inside of my mouth.

I could feel the tip of his dick in the back of my throat causing me to gag on his dick, he pulled out while getting a hold of my chin.

"Take a deep breath baby, relax your throat for me," I nodded my head obeying his words as he kept a hold of my throat and began pushing his dick inside of my mouth.

I relaxed my throat while breathing through my nose taking his length inside of my throat, I moved his shaft up and down continuously swirling my tongue on his mushroom tip tasting all of the saltiness from it.

His groans were like music to my ears, "just like that baby doll, just like that," he groaned as he sped us his pace inside of my mouth.

I held onto his thighs hearing that popping effect going in and out from my mouth while he faced fucked me, this was something I never done before not even with Jayden he would always be picky about things like this.

I could feel him growing inside of my mouth as my tongue glides through his shaft while I was playing with his balls, which caught him off guard but seemed to enjoy it.

I could feel Jey's eyes gazing down at me while I looked up at him with my innocent ones, which caused him to smile at me.

"You so fucking pretty mamas, you gon' let me nut in that pretty mouth of yours?" he cooed as I nodded my head in response.

Jey rolled his eyes in the back of his head thrusting his hips deeper inside of my mouth while tears were flowing down my cheeks feeling snot coming down as well taking him all in.

Feeling his dick twitch inside of my mouth as he continued to thrust and thrust, it felt like I was going to pass out at the moment.

I heard him cursing underneath his breath, "fuck, I'm finna cum," he warned me.

After a few more strokes down my throat I felt his warm semen shoot out inside of my mouth while hearing a loud groan escaping from his lips as his seeds were spilling down my throat.

I swallowed it up tasting the saltiness of it before he pulled away from my mouth.

I could see his chest heaving up and down trying to catch his breath after having that orgasm, I got up from my knees grabbing me a napkin to wipe my mouth.

"Shit, I didn't know you had it like that girl," Jey said before wrapping his arms around my waist.

Desiree push him away now, what are you doing??

Why are you letting him get this close to you??

Jey kissed me on the cheek which caught me off guard as I turned my head looking at him through the mirror, we made eye contact with each other before giving a smile at one another.

"It's nothing special Joshua," I said as I threw the napkin away in the trash can.

"Mmcht, girl you trippin," all I could do was chuckle at him he was so perfect it wasn't fair that he wants to be with someone like me.

"I'm not," I sat down on the couch crossing my leg over while monitoring his movements.

While I was doing that I heard the door knocking as he went to go see who it was, I tried to peek my head from his shoulders to see who was he talking to.

But I just minded my business anyways watching the match on the TV screen before I heard him shutting the door.

That's when I heard him speak, "Hey, mama imma be back aight? Gotta go do this interview segment with my brother," Jey said as I nodded my head seeing him leaving the door.

I noticed that he had left his phone with him my curiosity was getting the best of me and wanted to look through his phone making sure that he wasn't hiding anything or playing in my face.

But I hesitated to get it due to what happened when I looked through Jayden's phone seeing all of those woman that he was texting behind my back.

Go through his phone Desiree

Do it

I grabbed his phone noticing that his phone had a passcode on it, 'damn it,' that's all I could think about I couldn't get into his phone.

Would he even let me look through his phone if I asked?

I placed his phone back to where it was while keeping myself occupied.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ I returned to my hotel room after spending some time at the arena catching up with Bianca. I truly missed my best friend and can't wait for her to come home after the tour. In the meantime, I was enjoying a delicious meal I ordered from the hotel menu when I suddenly felt my phone vibrate.

Upon picking it up, I noticed a message from Jey, and a smile spread across my face as I replied to him.

IMESSAGE 💬 Joshua💵: mama wya? Desiree🦋: I'm in my hotel room Joshua💵: lemme' come slide through Desiree🦋: Joshua... Joshua💵: what? C'mon mama I'm tryna see you before you leave Desiree🦋: we seen each other Josh Joshua💵: so? Why do you keep doing this baby?

God I love it when he calls me baby

Desiree🦋: because I don't understand what do you see in me Joshua💵: let me see, you're beautiful, talented, caring, soft spoken, loyal, do I need to add some more? Desiree🦋: nah you good Joshua💵: then what's the word?

Fuck, fuck, fuck, what am I going to say?

Desiree🦋: what are we going to do if you come over? Joshua💵: you know mama, I'm tryna spend some time with you girl Desiree🦋: alright I'll send you my hotel room number Joshua💵: bett see you in a little bit

Shit Desiree you gotta put on something cute for him

Wait don't do that you look good enough in your baggy sweats and tank top

I glanced into the mirror, checking that my hair was just right for his arrival. With him coming over, I couldn't help but wonder about his intentions for the evening. Was it just a casual encounter, or did he have something more in mind?

As I made my way back to bed, I switched off the lights in the room, leaving only the bathroom light on for safety. I picked up my iPad and started creating fresh tattoo designs for my clients, eager to showcase my work when I return home.

While creating tattoo designs, I found myself imagining how they would appear on Jey. The thought of inking him crossed my mind, but I doubt he would actually allow it.

I was engrossed in drawing on my iPad, as I often do, while a show played in the background on the TV. However, my thoughts kept drifting, particularly fixated on the idea of going through his phone.

I have to find out what's inside so I don't come off as foolish for someone who doesn't want me. Perhaps I could quietly access it while he's asleep by using his Face ID.

Or you could just ask Desiree I'm sure he'll give it to you without hesitation

As I was lost in my thoughts, a knock at the door jolted me from my bed. I quickly got up and pulled back the curtains, revealing Jey's car parked in the lot outside.

Damn he came here fast

As I glanced through the peephole, I spotted him standing there, hands tucked casually in his pockets. I swung the door open, and the moment our eyes met, a smile blossomed on his face.

Jey's gaze swept over my body, taking in every detail from head to toe. As I welcomed him into my hotel room and closed the door, I stood with my arms crossed, observing his every move. He always manages to look incredibly attractive whenever he approaches me.

He sat down on my bed waiting for me to come near him before speaking, "You just gonna stand there or bring yo' cute ass over here?" he said as I slowly walked over towards him getting between his legs.

I sensed his hand reaching for my waist, drawing me onto his lap and compelling me to turn and face him, his grip on my hips steady and assertive.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him as he stared up at me, his lips glistening from where he had just licked them. It was enough to make me turn my gaze elsewhere. 'Honestly, I can't tolerate this.'

"What? Why you keep looking away mama?"

I don't wanna admit to him that he makes me feel so wet and horny right now

"It's nothing Josh, don't worry about it," I said while he got a hold of my chin placing a soft kiss on my lips.

As our lips met, a natural rhythm took over, and I instinctively draped my arms around his neck. In a seamless motion, he shifted our positions, leaving me lying back on the bed with him hovering above me.

His strong hands intertwined with mine, which felt so small in comparison, as he positioned himself between my legs. I could feel his tongue exploring my mouth, and in that moment, I realized I had never felt such comfort with a man I had only met a few months prior.

Jey broke the kiss and started to trail kisses down my neck, asserting his claim on me. He lifted my tank top, exposing my perky breasts, and began to tease my nipple with his tongue, swirling it in a way that made me arch my back in response.

"J-Jesus...Josh..." I moaned softly seeing him gazing up at me.

"You miss daddy huh?"

"Yes...I missed..you so..much," I could feel him smirking.

Fuck I just admitted that I missed him

I mean i wasn't lying I did miss him a lot

Jey was so different from Jayden, when I was with Jayden at the time he wasn't this gentle with me he would always be rough but with Jey he takes his time.

As I lost myself in my thoughts, I barely noticed him sliding off my sweats and panties. He drew me closer, his face nestled between my legs, where he began to kiss my thighs and gently explore my most intimate areas, sending delightful shivers coursing through my body.

Jey was kissing me all over, really getting into it, and then he started swirling his tongue around my clit.

the way his tongue was working magic on my pussy right now just made me feel like I was in a trance he was so gentle and genuine with it too, I didn't even flinch when he did as well he kept me in place so that I wouldn't escape but why would I?

This is some of the best head I'm getting right now

He gradually slipped two fingers inside me, thrusting in and out, making me moan while his tongue flicked up and down.

"Josh...fuck..."

"Mhm, look how wet you're for me baby," he muttered.

He was working me over with his fingers and tongue doing the same motion as I held my legs up so that he wouldn't have to feeling his other hand squeezing my right breast, his tongue glided over my glistening folds gazing up at me seeing that I was a moaning mess for him and only him.

That's when I began riding his face and fingers at the same time causing me to roll my eyes in the back of my head while doing so it felt so good feeling my clit being over simulated by him.

Every time he swirled his tongue over my bud I felt a tiny pit go down in my stomach nearing my orgasm, I gripped onto his mullet pushing his face deeper inside of my wet cunt. "D-daddy..." I whined gazing down at him.

"Gon' ahead make a mess on my face mamas, I want it all," 'he was such a sweet talker that's for sure' I could feel his beard getting wet in my wetness right now he was digging his fingers so deep inside of me almost hitting my g-spot so well.

My fingers were gripping onto the bed sheets circling my hips some more matching his movements knowing how he loved it when I did it, feeling him caressing my things as he continued to rack his tongue on my pussy lips

But I knew he wasn't going to let me cum so easily not just yet, he pulled his face and fingers away from me causing me to whine.

"Joshuaa, what the fuck," I cried out of annoyance as he chuckled at me before placing his glistening lips on to mine tasting myself.

"Calm down, little mama, daddy's got'chu aight?" Jey said softly.

Jey pulled down his sweats that hung low showing off the waistband of his boxers along with taking those off too seeing his dick spring up hitting him in his stomach, he stroke his dick before pulling me closer to the edge of the bed.

I saw him rubbing his dick onto my glistening pussy as he gently push himself inside of me hearing a gasp escaping his lips along with me moaning softly, that's where he began rolling his hips pumping his dick in and out of me.

"All of this for me?" Jey purred as his voice dropped a little bit making my pussy turn upside down.

"Yes, daddy, all for you and only you," I moaned while gazing up at him.

I bit the bottom of my lip watching him beat my pussy up he filled me up some good it didn't make sense, I could feel his hands slithering underneath my ass cheeks began thrusting deeply inside of me.

His dick had me seeing stars at this point as I slide my hands down towards my clit looking at him for permission to rub on it, he nodded his head as I wet my I wet my fingers up before rubbing my clit.

"Fuck, you look so pretty rubbing your pussy like that, keep goin for me baby," He praised me as he pummeled my insides.

My breast began to bounce and shake due to his intense thrust that he had going on causing me to throw my head back into the sheets. "Fuckkkk" I moaned gripping onto his biceps tightly.

"Mhmm gimme' that shit," he responded back as he continued to thrust inside of me.

I could feel my walls tightening around his dick as well as a pit going deep inside of my stomach hitting him in his chest to give him a warning, he pulled out from me seeing all of my warm juices squirt onto his chest.

"Got ya' ass squirting all over me huh?" I nodded my head while covering my face feeling embarrassed.

He removed my hands from my face placing as soft kiss on my lips, "don't be embarrassed baby, I love it," that put a smile on my face while pushing his dick back inside of me and began beating my shit in.

He wrapped his hand around my throat pounding into me deeply trying to chase his high like I did as his dick was coated up with my essence.

I could feel his dick gliding over my spot yet again as I wanted to run away from this so badly but I had to be a big girl and take it.

I loved the way his dick was coming in and out of me I could watch that all day if I wanted to, I could feel his dick twitching inside of me while he cursed underneath his breath gazing down at me with his dark eyes.

He leaned down whispering inside of my ear, "lemme' bust one in you mama," god I wish I wasn't on birth control right now I would've let him put a baby in me the way he speaking to me like this.

I nodded my head giving him permission as he continued to thrust and thrust until his movements were getting sloppy.

He let out a guttural moan, feeling his dick fill me up with his warm semen like a volcano, painted my walls so gently. "Fuck, that felt so fucking good," he groaned as he pulled out of me seeing his cum leak onto my beautiful chocolate body.

Jey bent down and planted a few soft kisses on my lips before making his way to the bathroom to tidy up the remnants that lingered on my stomach. As I lay there, my breathing remained calm, eagerly anticipating his return.

He returned with a warm cloth, gently cleaning my stomach and intimate areas before tossing it into the trash. Jey then switched off the bathroom lights and approached the bed where I was waiting.

We nestled closely under the blanket, my head resting on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart. As I looked up at him, I gently traced the designs on his tattooed skin, feeling a deep sense of connection.

"Come stay with me," Jey said as I gazed up at him with a perplexed expression.

"What do you mean stay with you?" I asked.

"I'm saying cancel your flight for tomorrow and come stay with me in Atlanta,"

Desiree no you remember what happened last time something like this happened and it went to straight to shit

Don't do this

"Joshua..."

He pressed his lips against mine before I could even voice my objections, silencing me in an instant. Our mouths danced together as they always had, but then he pulled back, looking deeply into my eyes. "Please, mama, I'm serious. I'm not here for games; I want to take care of you," he pleaded earnestly.

Desiree don't. do. it.

"Joshua that seems a bit much don't you think? What will I say to Bianca?" I said.

"I'll tell her myself aight? just let me take care of you mama, you deserve it," Jey is a great man, a very great man at that something that Jayden couldn't be for me.

I didn't know if I wanted to go through this with him despite my past relationship with Jayden and how he wanted me to move in with him it just scared me honestly.

"I'm scared Joshua..."

"Scared of what baby? I'm right here,"

"I wanna take things slowly I've been through way to much just to hop into another relationship you know?" He nodded his head understanding where I was coming from I knew he meant well but If I was going to go through this I had to take things slow.

I am mentally damaged

Mentally exhausted

And emotionally damaged

Jey grabbed a hold of my chin, "I understand princess, we'll take things easy aight just let me prove it," Jey said.

I noticed the seriousness in his eyes; he wasn't joking at all. I nodded in response, and then a smile broke across his face.

I hope I'm making the right decision in this

I pray he isn't like the rest of em or like Jayden in a way because my heart couldn't handle it anymore if he turns out to be them

Fuck what am I getting myself into?

NOVACANE

A/n: Jey is so patient with Desiree despite her being closed off and feeling scared but he's going to prove that he loves her more than anything.

I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below.

STAY UCEY.

[spotaus]

*cackling excitedly*

Haha!! Thank you!! (Killer, beloved <3) Every once in a blue moon I decide I want to try digital painting again and I limit myself to only the Acrylic brush on medibang 🙏 It's always really fun!!! Glad you like it! :D

Ahh, thank you for this one too hehe- the background was smth I was really struggling to decide on how to deal with, and I'm really glad the plan w/ character focus but Not Void came through!! I eould've hated to put them into a void, but coloring everything felt both too daunting + too distracting, haha!

HAH!!! Glad it's not just me tbh 😭 I was struggling getting his design straight from Sketch to Fully Rendered, and a lot of my decisions ended up being based on what looked nice against the dark greenish background I was using, and what felt like other iterations of Dream I've seen before! (I understand the pain u were in trying to work w/ the vague Killer ref once again 😭🙏) The only thing I had planned was his cape + his crown haha!!

And yeah!! The arrow in the table was smth I was debating on adding, and honestly I like your thoughts on it a lot! My initial reason for adding it was because I imagined Killer deflected one or two when he had the opportunity! Having said that, it hadn't really occurred to me that Killer staying largely stationary in a dead-end room would be SUPER telling of smth... I'm just gonna spitball an idea rq that is VERY open to being changed hehe! (You've unlocked my Special Attack, random story plotting!) So, Dream strikes down Cross super-duper quick for three goals. Get inside, out of the growing storm. Find Killer, the one who's been corrupting his brother. Find Nightmare, talk to him, and either convince him to pay down his arms or subdue him by force so that Dream can reclaim the crown and slowly get Night back to 'normal' and un-brainwashed. So, he's inside, and he spots Killer. Now, is Killer with Nightmare? Dream saw flashes of green fabric, but he's heard from witnesses that his twin developed a method of fast-travel, appearing and disappearing through shadows, so when Killer is the only one cornered in the room, I think Dream's first assumption is that, if Nightmare was even there in the first place? He's left. To get help or to simply flee Dream isn't sure. The way Killer is acting, it seems he's confident he can stop Dream here (lying, overconfident to hide his worries, Dream isn't checking). So, they fight. And I think Dream believes Killer is trying to keep him near the door, relying on the ability of the other Knights or the guard to come stop him. Killer is just trying to keep Night safe and undetected. And they stay in an odd stalemate (Dream's a long-range fighter, Killer likes to get close but he's worried about Night) where Killer gets close then backs off, and Dream strikes when he backs off, until, ofc, Dream pulls the blade Blue had been training him with on the side and catches Killer off-guard when he's rushed. Uh. I got distracted. Anyways, rn my plot reasoning is that Killer doesn't want stray attacks possibly getting near Nightmare, and Dream doesn't think much of it because between the Storm, his rage towards Killer, and the knowledge of Night's (old) powers, he assumes he'll have to track his twin down after dealing with Killer. (Forgive me for the random concept dump lol! Sometimes I gotta write things out before I make rash claims-)

Back to ur nite though! Dream's arrows DO have weird trajectory sometimes! In the camp Drabble, I had a mention that Dream's arrows (being magical) aren't affected by non-magical wind or air-resistance, but he also just aims for fun tbh. If he was really in-tune with his magic on any given day, he could pull an Undyne and make an arrow whip around someone and stab them in the back if he *really* wanted. So, Arrow in Table could've been him messing with that too, haha!

And! Yeah! The mask tint was smth I don't add in my writing (because in my heart it's definitely a more dull gray) but because that's visually not super striking, I've been making it purple-ish! I made the choice in my tumblr banner art actually, because the initial pale greys I was using felt off and strange, so purplish it is! (Also, story wise, homage back to Yellow=Dream Purple=Night!)

The brothers meet again

Ohhh my gods, this one was so daunting (I don't like backgrounds 😭) but it was so fun!!! This scene is going to be like. The really fun dramatic one when I get around to writing it, but for now here's a piece for it instead!!

Very quick explanation for those who haven't seen my insane rambles: Dream was about to kill Killer (finish him off) when Nightmare bursts out of hiding to get between them!

Now, bonus stuff!

^ He's actually very handsome <3

^Thinner version with a crop I like better??

^ I had to check sizing a few times (but Killer is angled so idk if it really helped?) And I just thought this was REALLY funny

^ Just the twins!

[irradiatedrosegarden]

its really great to see someone on here whose so passionate abt dead money!! i would love to hear about daisy and their relationship to the other collars! (also, i really love how you draw christine, she is delightfully teensy tiny)

YES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING, I WOULD BE SO HAPPY TO EXPLAIN :D

The entire situation of being stuck in the Sierra Madre and forced to cooperate was a special kind of awful for Daisy, what with her being the type of person who does not trust other people (not at all quickly, at least). She likes being in control, and absolutely hates feeling like her life is in the hands (or, *ahem*, around the neck) of anyone else, which makes for a very interesting situation with some very interesting dynamics with the others collars!

Daisy and Dean:

Their relationship is something of an unstable equality, where they both hold the upper hand (and both want to hold the upper hand), until they don't. They could each beat the other easily, Dean with smarts, Daisy with strength, and they each know it, and it's something about that shared capacity for ruthlessness (the ability for each of them to fight with teeth and claws and come out on top; there's no clear winner between them, it could go either way) that enables them to actually get pretty close. (and like, really close at one specific point in an abandoned convenience store, if you catch my drift.) Between the two of them, Dean is the one in the so-called "leader" position, calling the shots whenever they're doing things side-by-side, although look any closer than face value and it becomes clear how much he relies on Daisy's strength, selflessness, and general know-how. Dean will let her take point more often than not, let her charge ahead and do the dangerous things, the scary things, the hard things, that he will then take most of the credit for (she doesn't mind too much, luckily). They're kind of like,, y'know, a rich guy and his big ol' guard dog that he keeps on a short leash and claims the reason it's so short is because he needs to keep her under control, that it's a reminder that he's in charge, he's the one who owns her (metaphorically), but in reality it's so short because A) he finds comfort in her being so close, able to protect him at arms' length, and B) she is really who's leading. not him.

He also refers to her as "Miss Daisy" more often than not, which is kind of cute. She calls him "babydoll."

Daisy and Dog/God:

Daisy meets God twice, once in the police station and again in the kitchen, and both times, they absolutely hate each other. No camaraderie between them, nor was there ever any potential.

Daisy and Dog, however, end up caring for each other. A lot. They become fiercely protective over each other, quickly realizing "oh hey I would die for this person actually" and each putting in the extra effort to make sure the other has what they need. Daisy goes out of her way to keep Dog fed, to reassure him that he's doing well, everything's going fine. In return, Dog keeps an eye out for the things he realizes Daisy is afraid of (BUT IMPORTANT CHARACTER NOTE FOR DAISY, admitting fear is something she never, ever does. Ever.). Dog will use himself as a shield for Daisy (if need be), and does his best to steer her away from the darker areas of the Villa, or from more cramped, enclosed spaces or pathways (she has claustrophobia). He tends to scout ahead when they're traveling together, reporting back to Daisy with things like "Small space ahead" or "Ghosts that way," so they can take a different route (even if they could theoretically kill ghosts together with relative ease, ghosts are scary, dude).

Daisy has a lot of sympathy for Dog. For a good chunk of her time in the Sierra Madre, he acts as an anchor, reminding her she's not here (or shouldn't be here) for the gold. She's here to cooperate until she can get the hell out of here, and take Dog with her. He deserves better than what the Sierra Madre has handed him.

(no spoilers bc I'm writing a whole fic about Daisy's time in the Madre, but . . . . things don't end up going well for her and Dog; something she ends up regretting so much, and so deeply, she attempts to drink the cloud kiss (poison), which (fortunately) doesn't end up killing her.)

Daisy and Christine:

These two end up trusting one another more than anyone trusts anyone else, due to several factors, most having to do with their inexplicable shared experiences (having gone to the Big Empty and gotten their brains messed with, being the only two human women, both knowing and being very close with Veronica[!!][although it is a purely platonic, sisterly relationship with Daisy; we all know that was very much not the case with Christine and Veronica <3]). They both adapt to the other very quickly, and get really good at watching each others' backs while they do their things in the Villa. They have a pretty significant barrier between them, though, with Christine not being able to speak, and Daisy . . . really not being able to understand her, for the most part (low perception and very low intelligence), but those walls fall down once they reach the casino and Christine is able to speak and explain things in a way Daisy understands.

very important note as well, Daisy understands immediately that Christine wouldn't want to go in the elevator at her switching station to do all her work manually (tiny cramped room, noises like an Auto-Doc, no. way.). Forcing Christine into the elevator was never even an option; Daisy has claustrophobia, she doesn't want to be stuck in any tiny-ass room with barely any leg room. Christine appreciates this. :)

i love talking about characters and dead money this is so fabulous, thank you for your ask <33333

[fatedroses]

And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.

[teeth-draws]

Chase suffers in love but the other Norms still let him come to their little photoshoot