#but i doubt it's years apart
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You know, episodes-wise, Egon's Ghost and The Boogeyman is Back, aren't that far away from each other (Season 2, episode 60, and Season 3 episode 3. about 8 episodes apart)
Can you imagine almost/kinda dying and ending up in the Netherworld (not to be confused with the Netherlands), and then, like, a few months later, almost dying again?
No wonder Egon was so terrified it brought the Boogeyman back. Sure they risk their lives each day but those were two incidences where death was very real for him, and they weren't too far away from each other
#rambles#the real ghostbusters#ghostbusters#egon spengler#just watched Egon's Ghost so that's why this is on my mind#also they never specify how much time passes between episodes#but i doubt it's years apart#egon suffers from the curse of being the genius (the writers have to find ways to stop him from solving the problem and that often means#death - or kidnap - or being possessed - or not being able to function because of xyz)#he also bodyswapped with a demon 3 episodes after Egon's Ghost so... yknow#it's a fun cartoon from the 80s - the trauma never lasts longer than an episode at most - but my god is it interesting to think about
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israel doing the absolute most to try and win eurovision is so baffling to me. they seem to think that would be good pr but it's so clearly the opposite? if israel wins, and that is very likely at least the public vote, it's only going to strengthen the outrage and will be an unbelievably bad look for both israel and eurovision as a whole. you're slaughtering an entire people while winning a fuckass music competition? that you're spending a ton of money on begging people to vote for you in? that's literally just going to make people so much angrier. i truly don't get how on earth they think this is a good move. and eurovision as a whole will be even more of a joke than it already is.
#unfortunately you can't vote Against anyone#so yeah israel's gonna get a lot of votes i'm afraid#i havent heard any songs this year apart from norway's so idk whos actually the best i don't really care#but i kind of doubt anyone has the pull to beat the propaganda#eurovision
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I am surprised that you still can't find a partner. You're gorgeous, interesting and cute at the same time.
(probably because you may be a federal agent)
i suffer from “can’t communicate effectively because of anxiety” BUT it’s getting a lot better!!!
i’ve also had a lot of “you are great but i’m seeing someone else now, bye” experiences. like, this happened three times. two in one year 😭 it takes a while to get over that and restore your self confidence, lol!!
#the first time especially destroyed me#like. it was my first feedee/feeder (more like encourager) thing#i was trying so hard#but after it ended i lost a lot of weight#it’s funny to me now lowkey bc it wasn’t serious at allllll#but i was emotionally invested#and he reconnected w a vanilla former gf so. idk who really lost there#the FUNNIEST part is that two of them happened on the exact same day 2 years apart#that fact helped me thru it#plus. it’s good to be fat on your own!!#it makes u stronger#i’m so worried the ppl that did this to me stalk my page.#i really doubt the first guy does but the second.. there’s a chance. he knows the account#but i doubt it if he’s w someone seriously
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when the fuck does ghost trick take place
everyone's using payphones and people have house phones but they also have wireless headphones and flat screen tvs? is it the late 2010s, when wireless headphones first became popular? it can't take place in the late 2010s because no one's calling Lynne an sjw for having red hair and also ghost trick came out in 2010. is it the 90s? did they have wireless headphones in the 90s? didn't everyone have a crt? weren't flat screen TVs considered luxury as fuck? were lynne and kamila rich as fuck?
#xenon screams#ghost trick#this has been haunting me since i first played this game#which was over a year ago#it appears to be a not very good apartment with thin walls. so i doubt they were rich as fuck
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RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)
#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers#art by seaweed#words by seaweed#X-Men Red#the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire#“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did#“he's a douche” mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death#Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans#I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self#and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era#he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously#creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy#Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc#Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him#instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre#but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too#and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also#he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar
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Love love LOVEEE your depiction / modifications of Al-Qatala. I’d never noticed before how weird their actions in the game are until you pointed it out. Why the fuck Would a agitating liberation organization fuck with anything in Piccadilly???? I really love the differences and dynamics you highlighted between the ULF and Al Mudahiyn!
Hi, Thank you so much!
I kinda understand why they did this from the dev's POV, bc for them, a way to show an organization is "extremely dangerous" and "ruthless", is for them to come to the 141's home turf in the UK (because showing them harming people in Urzikstan or Russia wouldn't be "scary enough").
I'm glad you like Al Mudahiyn. They're definitely gonna show up in part 2, so I'll be interested to explore their motivations more in the future!
#asks answered#ty for the ask <3#honestly i had to either change AQ or remove them completely bc i wouldnt have been comfortable writing them#which is another reason hassan/AQ are not in part one#tbh i still dont feel qualified to write even something like Al Mudahiyn because these kinds of things#require sensitivity readers i dont have for something like... a cod au fanfic#so im going off of my existing knowledge of politics and war and try to think from other povs than mine#but this topic is not simple or easy#and its much easier for me to critique and take apart something like the campaign than to recreate it myself#anyway im rambling again. this is why i need my post scripts#im considering making a post script for the side stories... but i wrote the first one literally a year ago so i doubt i remember much lmao
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Wine stains on porcelain
(Alternatively: @katkastrofa and I have created 5 OCs in 3 days and I suffer from chronic “I wanna draw the little guysssssss” disease)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#I have not figured out a tag system yet so for now this is all they’re getting#their names are liba and abyan and I’m very much obsessed :)#they’re the children of two of our other newest OCs. Himman and Summiya#the latter of whom just happens to be Zaheer’s older sister#but he ran away from home years before these two were born so he most likely isn’t even aware of their existence#I mean. I’m sure he suspects his sisters had children. but that’s the extent of what he knows#anyway#quite a few headcanons came to mind as I was drawing so I’m gonna type them out while I can still function#(haven’t slept for two nights in a row. I’m starting to doubt whether I’m actually alive or not)#Liba is older by about a year but once they grow up a little it’s barely noticeable and people assume they’re twins#over time they stop bothering to correct them because really. they’re so close they might as well be#they were both burn with port wine stain birthmarks on their faces. much to their mother’s dismay#she has a whole perfectionism complex and needed her children to reflect that to maintain the family image#thus they were taught how to hide the marks early on. but the powder makes them constantly sneeze#liba is very self conscious about it bc of what her mother put in her head. Abyan less so bc while he’s expected to be perfect#his future doesn’t depend on his looks. he always tries to comfort his sister whenever she spirals too deep. no matter that she’s older#when no one is around to hear he calls her Lili <3 it annoyed her at first so she dubbed him Yanyan in retaliation#but over time they both grew to love the nicknames and now use them unironically#they’re the ultimate partners in crime. their goal? gaining as much freedom from their mother as possible#and sooner or later they will manage to do so permanently. which will make Summiya fall apart. but that is currently Kat’s domain#speaking of. hi Kat. I know you’ve already seen this in pencil but look! I coloured them!!#the birthmarks were both kinda annoying and rather fun to do. maybe I’ll change them later. I was too tired to look at refs so I improvised#and there’s no detail in clothing since again. 0 energy whatsoever. but once I refine their full body designs I shall go all out#that reminds me I need to go collect my new sketchbook. might do it on the way home from the store#okay I’m getting distracted. is this my very unsubtle way of trying to influence Kat to write that Summiya fic?#maybe. maybe not. you can’t prove anything 😁
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I conducted a vote on which fic snippet to share, and you chose the shipfic I'm writing out of spite!
(Sooo, just for a little context: this is from a short fic set in the same setting as my main Medieval AU, but not in the same universe/continuity as my main Medieval AU. Kinda like what SW Legends is to canon, yknow?)
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“I’m the PRINCESSSSS!”
Ahsoka’s flailing arm nearly hit Rex in the face, but he dodged, and caught her around the middle, stopping her tipsy swaying. “Yes, Your Highness, we know.”
She threw an arm around his neck and squished her cheek against his pauldron. “I’m prettyyyyy.”
“If you insist, Princess.”
“Do you think I’m pretty?”
She swerved wildly, and he redirected her. “It would be unseemly for me to answer that, Princess.”
“Seemly. Seeeeeemly. Stupid Seemley Ress,” she said, slurring his name, then trying to correct herself. “Stupid Seemly Ress. Resss. Ressss! My tongue’sss not workin’, Ress!”
“So I hear.”
“I’m pretty. And I’m strong.”
“As everyone knows.”
“And I’m tall!”
“Acknowledged.”
“And I’m orange!”
“Correct.”
“AND I’m… I’mma walk on my own now!”
She shoved him away and took two wobbly steps forward before he had to catch her again.
“I can do it!” she whined. “I’m a lady. I’m twen’ny yearssss ol’. I can walk!”
She very clearly could not, so with a sigh, Rex bent over and lifted her completely, carrying her down the hallway. “All due respect, ladies do not get sloshed at formal dinners.”
“Isss no’ my fault,” she muttered. “Issstupid Korkie’s fault.”
“Right,” Rex said, ignoring her and the looks he was getting. Mostly sympathetic ones; everyone knew the Princess was trouble and was used to her getting into worse predicaments than this.
“Korkie says you liiiiike me,” she continued, singsongy. “He says you’re—you’re not sssaying an’thin ‘bout it cause of, uh. Uhhhhh. Clones! People don’t like you. Stupid people don’t. Good people do. Korkie says I like you.”
“That would be surprising, considering the amount of complaining you do whenever I’m around,” Rex deadpanned.
#korkie didn't even do anything poor guy#ahsoka's just throwing him under the bus like 'yep it is definitely korkie's fault that i got drunk.'#and rex doesn't buy it lol#soooo anyway. this is my very first foray into writing rexsoka and they're both firmly in the denial stage rn!#(I don't normally ship it due to the age gap but since they're only 3-4 years apart in this au and they met when she was 17 and not 14#I figured if i was gonna spitewrite a rexsoka fic then the medieval setting would be the one to do it in!)#fun fact! i had contemplated actually having them be a couple in the ACTUAL medieval au and even came up with a few fun scenes!#but i scrapped it in favor of a funnier idea#but that meant i had to scrap the scenes too#BUT by writing a fic in the same setting but not the same universe i can still write those scenes!#fic snippet#fic sneak peek#spite writing#ahsoka tano#captain rex#rexsoka#annnyyyywaaaaaay posting now before i overthink and doubt myself uwu#cause writing semi-controversial ships that i know some of my tumblr buddies might not like makes me nervous lol#but hey i'm just turning it into a game. i'm calling it 'will i lose followers for posting about this ship and how many will i lose'#star wars medieval au
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big epiphany you guys. big. huge.
#cliffnotes for context: smute almost finish masters. smute think oh‚ maybe phd not crazy wacko shit‚ maybe i can try#but smute also low self esteem. with any small setback - smute think oh what is point. smute bound to fail#problem is: smute genuine self doubt = smute quotidian frustration#ok normal english now#so thats what i realized today. a lot of the ''small'' things i dream of (financial independence‚ a nice little apartment etc) are#expressions of some low level frustration with my nomadic broke student life#rather than genuine desires. and as dumb or as#duh#obvious as that may sound rn#its actually huge for me that i was able to recognize the difference today#this question of what i will do after i graduate has been haunting me for the past year#and i am now realizing that a lot of my own arguments have nothing to do with what i want#just because they're things i don't currently have doesn't mean they would be fulfilling#and#again. duh.#but like. between this debilitating self doubt and certain external pressures 🤨 it was hard to see the difference#anyway i basically just explored some alternative scenarios today#like specific scenarios. went on indeed found some really good stuff and tried to imagine my life a year from now if i took this or that jo#and the end result was that i fucking hated it. they were all great options on paper but the takeaway was that i would never forgive myself#if i didnt give this a try. if i prioritized some vague notion of independence or this idea of ''settling down'' or whatever the fuck#over the one thing that ive got going for me#like i still don't know if the academic path will be any more fulfilling than some other job#god knows my entire academic career so far has been an insane uphill battle. but it's also been so fucking rewarding. like nothing else#and i also still dont know how genuine this wish is#if it's not maybe still about proving myself to some imaginary authority#but like. how long can you psychoanalyze yourself before your goddamn head explodes#no matter how pure my motivation is im beginning to understand that i dont want this to be the end of the road#and maybe that's enough#&
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(Pacing with haunted eyes) My friends like me. My friends like me. My friends like me. They do not secretly hate me. They are not talking behind my back. They are not plotting to traumatize and abandon me. If we do part ways it is not malicious on their end. They do not secretly hate me. My friends like being around me. I am allowed to have friends. Not everyone will toss me aside. I'm not simply a tool for others. People can be nice. I can be treated well. People like me.
#I know Sinclair likes me. I don't doubt that. It's been at my side for over 3 years now. But it's really hard with others‚ you know?#Sinclair is someone I understand and can trust. I struggle with that with others. Because I really can never know?#So many times I've let myself become attatched and have friends and think I was liked only for it to horribly fall apart#⛪️
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oh yeah the way mass effect made me think of portal which is surely what youtube was doing too in sliding me a portal related video which made me think of like ah yes that little harmonizing thing want you gone credits song does, another banger. then i was like wait speaking of secret losersongs filmed rehearsal videos just the other day was reexperiencing like code monkey's really a banger as well, the way that part of the chorus could have one line end on One Pitch then the next line end a half step up but Doesn't & that pwns actually. then going hang on and they're both jonathan coulton. they're All jonathan coulton (adding in: wow just like will putting still alive on his off the shits jared kleinman a.m. pump up playlist)
#portal / 2 / 2's co-op mode; the rare VideoGames i've Actually Played#the rare puzzle centric games that pwn b/c the Parameters & Goals are always sufficiently clear....#so i did not play mass effect at the time or since. meanwhile i did happen to meet ellen mclain once. wah#doubting that mass effect had any characters singing a song over the credits. Maybe.#but seems plausible indeed the most any individual sings is the optional source material for modern major general / scientist salarian#and that has no Complete Version until here's william lmao. good for him. & those games coming out when he was a little college lad....#wait what the. mass effect the first & portal the first released a month apart in '07??? i guess that tracks lmao but#happy birthday video games....portal 2 in '11; me3 in '12. weird that i was Also in college#''great day to not be in high school'' post like hell yeah it is & i evaded high school entirely lmfao#which was a major motivation in going to college. i can just cut out [school years] that's what i'm talking about. & it did.#hang in there everyone in high school. or middle school god forbid. or college even though it's Also indeed better. lord#just another thing like well try not to die i suppose while put through endless [pass test]#anyways then this full version is created & will sings it!!! & kills it!!! cosigned all the mass effecties....#suppose it's plausible that will ''in college doing musical theatre times'' would look up the composer of credits bops & go from there#let me put together a cabaret solo show & oh gee i dunno....
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i've just now found the words to articulate this but i personally think steve harrington is not a domestic life kinda guy. not meaning domestic relationship, i mean he's not going to be a school teacher coasting on calm waters. i think til like mid-late 30s he's gonna be clubbing by night, working shitty diners by day. until robin and her phD having ass forces him to be a permanent resident of her couch. yes with her partner living there too.
#this is just how i envision it#stranger things#steve harrington#stobin#platonic stobin#i truly believe robin will FORCE steve. i think he will not have the dignity to ask but he will complain about his living arrangement#every day with hopes she will ask him and she finally gets the hint and at that point he's like NOOnoooo i'm used to it :( it's ok....#and then they have the whol back in forth thing#she wins bc she starts stealing things out his apartment and he eventually realizes all his stuff is at robin's house.#and YES robin can pay to support her partner / herself and her codependent bff since the summer before senior year#she will have a job with full benefits no doubt in my mind#also she will be clubbing with steve occasionally. esp in her 20s
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just so you know how normal the UK is, left wing climate change activists and anti-monarchy protesters are getting jail time and beaten for simply holding up banners and being considered disruptive whilst right wing bullshitters against shit like ULEZ (literally about having areas that are specifically for ultra low emissions so we, y'know, don't constantly have to breathe in fucking car fumes and other pollutants because some fucking people actually bizarrely want to???) and road safety limits EVEN FUCKING RIGHT NEAR SCHOOLS are driving basically massive vehicles through the streets and are not considered a disruptive protest
#this is also after being a year or so into a fucking protest bill where the government can cherry pick which protests to break apart#also naturally police are turning off bodycams because of course they are#and a van was stopped by police because 'they had reason to believe they were going to disrupt the tory party conference'#also laurence fox - known fascist - was yelling in public about protecting children from trans people#and i haven't heard shit about the covid inquiry because bozo the clown stepped down in a tantrum when he wouldn't hand over his phone#despite the fact that probs about 17 parties that he was involved in took part in and around 10 downing street#DURING A FUCKING PANDEMIC IN DECEMBER 2020#WHEN EVERYONE WAS MADE TO FOLLOW THE RULES OR BE SANCTIONED#there's a giant wall in London with all the Covid victims and with the darkest irony#it's literally opposite the Houses of Parliament#and i highly doubt any of those people in there - especially the higher powers - have even fucking visited it#this is also the same fucking country that attacked a vigil for a woman brutally murdered by a police officer#claiming it was an unlawful gathering#whilst ignoring the christmas parties at downing street and the anti lockdown protestors#vent#rant#uk politics#my heart is fucking dead i don't have the fucking enthusiasm anymore#i wanna go back so damn much#my family and I do not have many friends now as a result
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Did sleeping help
No </3
#vent#tsk. isn’t it like. if you hate everything then eat#if you think everyone hates you then sleep#if you hate yourself take a shower?#sooooooooo. uhhhhhhh. didnt. work?#hng. artfight... I was so excited I have so many ideas#but it’s like. everything is triggering me or making me upset or freaked out or sick. idk what to do#I go ‘oh lemme see what my friends have done so far’ and then I see an oc from someone not my friend anymore and I’m like. ougghhh#I feel like such a baby for caring. stupid for being upset still. it’s like it only mattered to me and no one else had to deal with such#crippling anxiety and stress because of it#everyone is getting so much done so fast and I STILL can’t submit the second thing I did. I’m going to lose my head or cry or both or die or#SOMETHING uhhhhhhggggggg and it’s like all my anxieties are circling back around cus it was this time last year shit hit the fan#I have college!! I have no clue what my plans are!! all I’m good for is making fake people and drawing said people!!#I’m such a fucking. stupid.. I wasn’t even supposed to take this last semester off. we just didn’t know what other classes to take or what#to focus on... I’ve been literally free all day every day since December and it’s like I’m STILL not doing anything worthwhile#mmm I’m so alone in this I can’t DEAL well I guess I’ve been ‘dealing’ but I don’t believe thinking about bad situations literally every day#since they’ve happened can be considered as ‘dealing’ with it. I doubt anyone else is thinking about it that hard but I can’t help it#I can’t do a complete cut off from the internet. my only friends are here! what then? then I’m just. some sad sack who doesn’t talk to#anyone? mmm this isn’t a good way to start the day but I can’t NOT think. it’s all I do. my brain is one of the things that makes be I can’t#self labotomize myself into being a chiller person without killing everything that makes me with it#ugh. I’m going to be stuck in this headspace forever. even with apologies and make ups or agreements to stay apart#I’ll still be the one dealing with the negatives and fallout from shitty situations. funny seeing as I still don’t understand how things#even escalated so fast. but whatever. I’m the bad wolf forever. can’t change that
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If you saw me saying I wanted to make good progress on my big books last month then no you didn't <3
November tbr
#taking dynasty and the magic mountain into the end of the year with me no doubt#but im ok with it#i will not finish all these books November/December always takes me out but im being optimistic#also the world is falling apart how can i read#booklr#bookblr#november tbr#books and reading
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hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery
#starlight personal#it’s very bizarre to have my life going objectively well - work is good! personal life is good! family is good!#and still be very mentally ill and feel like I’m faking it even though I know damn well I ain’t scream-sobbing every couple of days alone in#my apartment for attention because What Attention??? my cat????? Bug is never moved by my tears she cares only for string and wires#like I know that cannabis has been immensely helpful to getting me to fucking sleep on a regular schedule and that’s integral to -#my functioning and I know that having emergency klonopin in the event of a total breakout is helpful#and I KNOW that my PMDD and depression and anxiety are very treatment resistant and ketamine is the only thing that’s provided any -#meaningful relief and logically I know I’m not abusing any of these#I’m getting a promotion at work I still go out to see friends regularly I have hobbies I have a girlfriend (??? Wild right)#like clearly these things are working because i’m better now than i was for years leading up to now#SO LIKE. DON’T STOP USING THE THINGS THAT HELP. LOGICALLY THIS MEANS THESE ARE GOOD FOR ME#I always roll my eyes when ppl go off their meds b/c they’re feeling better like babes that’s what the meds are meant to do#if you stop taking them you stop feeling better - but it’s REALLY HARD to get past the cultural conditioning#the feeling that ‘but I can white knuckle my way through this I can force myself to live without’ like WHY BITCH#WE DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT#AND ALSO. WE’RE STILL GENERALLY MISERABLE BRO. EVEN WITH OUR LIFE IN A BETTER PLACE!!!#DO YOU NOT THINK THIS MEANS THAT WE SHOULD USE WHAT WE KNOW WORKS TO BE LESS MISERABLE#basically it’s really hard to not feel like a loser when the only things that help are ‘fun’ drugs like weed and psychedelics#I feel like I’m being a hedonistic reprobate which 1) is actually kinda cool now that I wrote it out#2) @ myself were not a good enough liar-faker that every medical professional we see wouldn’t pick up on that if that was our motivation#time to remind myself that it’s arrogant to think I could trick many trained professionals without actively trying tbh#that generally helps me get out of my self-pitying ‘ohhhhh I’m awful and lazy and bad and abusing substances’ spiral#to be very mentally ill on main it is weirdly reassuring to be like ‘just as my fanon interpretation of obi wan kinda hates himself but is -#practical enough to take care of himself even when it makes him cringe and want to scratch his face off; I too am aware that self-care is -#radical and punk and In Fact Necessary to beat back the dark and live in the light with hope so yes even though I doubt and -#feel squiggly and guilty about it I’m not going to NOT prioritize my health and well-being b/c self-hatred and self-denial benefits no one’#thank you inner obi wan i love projecting my issues onto you mwah mwah mwah smooches for my favorite boy!!!!!#and smooches for me I’m going to be proud of myself gosh darn it even if I have to fake it at first#see I wouldn’t be able to be nice to myself like this if I hadn’t been doing ketamine treatment for a year IT WORKS BRO KEEP IT UP#SCHEDULE THE DAMN APPOINTMENT AND CLEAN YOUR BONG
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