#again. duh.
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smute · 11 months ago
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big epiphany you guys. big. huge.
#cliffnotes for context: smute almost finish masters. smute think oh‚ maybe phd not crazy wacko shit‚ maybe i can try#but smute also low self esteem. with any small setback - smute think oh what is point. smute bound to fail#problem is: smute genuine self doubt = smute quotidian frustration#ok normal english now#so thats what i realized today. a lot of the ''small'' things i dream of (financial independence‚ a nice little apartment etc) are#expressions of some low level frustration with my nomadic broke student life#rather than genuine desires. and as dumb or as#duh#obvious as that may sound rn#its actually huge for me that i was able to recognize the difference today#this question of what i will do after i graduate has been haunting me for the past year#and i am now realizing that a lot of my own arguments have nothing to do with what i want#just because they're things i don't currently have doesn't mean they would be fulfilling#and#again. duh.#but like. between this debilitating self doubt and certain external pressures 🤨 it was hard to see the difference#anyway i basically just explored some alternative scenarios today#like specific scenarios. went on indeed found some really good stuff and tried to imagine my life a year from now if i took this or that jo#and the end result was that i fucking hated it. they were all great options on paper but the takeaway was that i would never forgive myself#if i didnt give this a try. if i prioritized some vague notion of independence or this idea of ''settling down'' or whatever the fuck#over the one thing that ive got going for me#like i still don't know if the academic path will be any more fulfilling than some other job#god knows my entire academic career so far has been an insane uphill battle. but it's also been so fucking rewarding. like nothing else#and i also still dont know how genuine this wish is#if it's not maybe still about proving myself to some imaginary authority#but like. how long can you psychoanalyze yourself before your goddamn head explodes#no matter how pure my motivation is im beginning to understand that i dont want this to be the end of the road#and maybe that's enough#&
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strawberryscare · 10 months ago
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new fav ship prospect is buddy and fabian. imagine growing up intensely religious and conservative and not only do you end up with rich asshole bisexual disaster boyfriend but he sincerely suggests you meet his godless hellish pirate devil prince father. there’s something very charming in all that.
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yayll · 3 months ago
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~ a little something about Dazai's impeccable detective skills... only when it comes to you ~
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"Uh-huh... And you said you were meeting someone last night?" Dazai pretends to jot down this information, his brows slightly furrowed as he scribbles into the notepad he conjured up from his long tan coat just a few seconds ago.
"Yes, that's correct."
"Ah, I see.. Fascinating. And how was it?"
"How was what?"
"Your date." He says, smugly. His head tilts in mock innocence, and his smile stays plastered on his lips while he watches you practically choke on your own spit. Now he's really going to start writing details down...
"Oh, no, it wasn't like that. Nothing that official, heh." You fidget with your fingers, looking down, and suddenly your shoelaces are the most interesting thing you've ever seen. You didn't think questioning would last this long, you weren't even involved in the crime, but this eccentric detective before you says all witnesses are vital for the investigation and you're just doing your civil duty as a valued member of society!
And this drives Dazai insane... how ridiculous that you don't have a clear standing within the life of whomever you were seeing. It should be a crime, really! If you were his, no one would ever hear the end of it. He hums to himself, nodding as if in deep thought as he draws a heart around your name in his notepad, adding his own name right under yours. He clears his throat and looks back up at you, making sure his knees don't give out at the way you seem so bashful around him.
"I beg your pardon? Do I hear that a young and beautiful person has not been swept off their feet successfully?"
Just before you can answer, a young man with white hair and a peculiar asymmetrical haircut runs to Dazai's side. He peers at his notes, and nervously chimes in.
"Er, Dazai? Mister Kunikida wanted me to come find you, but I didn't think you'd actually be working- Why are there so many hearts drawn-"
Dazai immediately moves his hand over the young man's face and comically shoves it away from his notepad, still smiling at at you. He speaks through gritted teeth and a nervous chuckle.
"Not now, Atsushiiiii, I'm working~"
This causes Atsushi to grumble, his face deflating into an annoyed sigh as his gloved hand scratches the top of his head.
"But Dazai, this is kind of important, and I really don't want to have to be the one to tell Kunikida that you're slacking off again..."
Dazai instantly snaps his head to look at Atsushi, pointing at you with dramatic flair, his voice reaching a mocking pitch.
"Oh, but I'm not, young Atsushi! I've come out here on pure basic instinct... I'm conducting a very serious investigation, and so unfortunately Kunikida and the rest of the folks at the agency will just have to wait for my genius intellect to come up with a tantalizing resolve. Get Ranpo to help. 'Kay byeee!~"
Dazai grabs you by the arm and though the gesture is hasty, he's surprisingly very gentle as he drags you away from the white haired young man. You're now standing outside a cafe and Dazai takes out what looks like a business card, presenting it to you. He scans your slightly confused face, and thinks about what other precious faces you'd make for him if he stuck around you long enough like the hound dog he is. He wonders if you'd let him touch your arm again, maybe even your hand... maybe even your-
"Are you okay, Dazai?" You ask in slight concern. Oops! He's been nonverbal for too long. He shakes his head rapidly and lets out a soft chuckle.
"Never been better! Here, take this, it's my personal contact. I think I've got all the notes I need to finish my work, but I seem to be missing one last thing-"
He proceeds to lean in a little, his now softened hazelnut eyes looking into yours intently, and his voice becoming drastically more serious. There's a glint of sincerity, and an emotion you can't quite place, but it makes your blood pressure spike and your cheeks flush at the casual intimacy of it all.
"... A time and date so I can see you again, perhaps?"
You feel yourself feeling giddy, and slightly stammer as your response flows out of you coyly.
"Ooh well, maybe tomorrow in the evening? I'll be off of work then. We can um, get coffee here?" You nod your chin up at the cafe sign, and flash him a soft smile. A smile that will keep him happily satiated until tomorrow.
"Ah, then it's a date! An official one..." He winks at you, and pats the top of your head, the feeling is light and angelic. By the time you recover, he's gone. You get a last glimpse of the way the tail of his coat swishes as he sharply turns the corner of the street, and you stand there smiling like a giddy schoolgirl. What you don't know is he does the very same thing, thinking about how playing with the fire of his own destiny is worth ruining if he could cement himself into your heart. In his adoring eyes, you could do no wrong. That's his job.
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kiisaes · 1 year ago
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bkg knows what the pocky game is, he's just playing along
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STOP I'm thinking about the part in Gravity Falls where Stan shows up with freshly bought (stolen) light bulbs only to see Ford screwing a new one in surrounded by family.
And OH my GOD. AGH.
Stan gets a little (ir)rationally upset about this because... It's.. Guys,,,
Stan perceives it as Ford once again easily receiving the praise and love of their family when he had to fight tooth and nail to receive even half of it.... I'm not well ✋😔
#listen I might be too deep in the fandom space and i might actually be mischaracterizing them completely#I'm not saying that Dipper and Mabel don't appreciate and love Stan because they definitely do!!#I'm saying Stan is seeing Ford reintegrate into their new family and he's seeing him do it. so. easily.#So easily When Stan had to PRETEND to be FORD to get even a chance to be a part of their family again#Stan FOUGHT to be a part of this family#and Ford just gets to slide in and... just. be a part of it.#and i mean duh but also... man Idk#Stan had to pretend to be Ford to get even a smidgen of a foothold to be able to even just... interact with his family#Stan's a family man that HAS to look out for everyone but Ford's just.. family. He gets to just... be a part of them with no real obligatio#And I'm not saying Ford doesn't love his family I'm saying he's very repressed and bad at showing it sometimes#It's just that... Stan fought SO hard to be a part of his family. THIS family. That is all he has EVER wanted#and FORD- who had it and took it all for GRANTED- gets to waltz back in and just.... take it for granted AGAIN#hang on guys i think I'm starting to take this a little personally i need to calm down wow#Okay.... I think I'm good#But you get where I'm coming from#cole's talking#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#grunkle ford#ford pines#stangst#stan twins#These tags really got away from me huh#Ahem-- all that to say I think Stan's vague resentment in that scene is valid!!
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vhvrs · 6 days ago
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"I'm here to rescue you! That's what you were hoping I would say, wasn't it?"
happy 11/20... so glad to be back in time for it hehe.
and individual closeup frames
individual frames
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machneherald · 15 days ago
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#shoutout to “the fear of fear” ep for being the sexiest ep to exist TWO-TIME GRAMMY NOMINATED HEAVY METAL BAND SPIRITBOX
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dhmis-autism · 3 months ago
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been thinking about them lately ok
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your-unfriendlyghost · 3 months ago
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lunchtime after soda dropped out
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Idk in my head this was funny but lookin at it now, it’s kinda angsty, huh?
anyhow, I like to think that after the events of the book, Steve and Two-Bit hang out with Ponyboy at school more- Two-Bit because he and Pony get along well and Steve because it’s what Soda would do. I hc that Steve doesn’t have a ton of school friends anyhow, so while he acts like he’s hanging with Pony just for Pony’s sake, a part of him kinda does like the company. Still, it’s not the same as Soda.
(I didn’t draw Two-Bit because I figured he actually does have a lotta friends and doesn’t rely on Sodapop being there lol. Maybe he’s on a date w/ Marcia or something idk)
(Also look I drew a car!! I heavily relied on reference images lol. Gave Steve a late 40s(?) Chevy Styleline, because that seemed like a common enough car that was outdated enough to belong to someone who doesn’t have a whole lotta money to spend on cars. Kinda projecting here ‘cuz I drive a shitty 20 year old Hyundai, and if I don’t get the mustang of my dreams then neither does Steve Randle. ‘Course I’d also kill for a 40s styleline, so really Steve’s doing better than I am either way lol)
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camellcat · 5 months ago
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"cordelia could you please drive me home?" "of course" OF COURSE she replies to buffy, softly, without hesitation. even if she goes right back to harping on about the world ending, of course she'll help buffy. head in my fucking hands
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gravygranola · 1 month ago
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batman continues to be slightly different every time I draw him so I wanted to do a full body to get my own design down outta my head. purple inner cape is a new addition to the rotation
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the-lonelybarricade · 9 months ago
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Re-reading the acomaf inn scene (as one does), and noticed Rhys repeats the “what is it you want, Feyre?” line the same way he repeated it during their fight outside the CoN 🥺
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Poor thing was so, so desperate to hear her say that he was what she wanted.
And when she finally says it—
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He just wants to hear her say it again 🥺 Like he can’t quite believe it
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starlooove · 8 days ago
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“It started with ekkos info” “it started with deckard bothering the squad” “it started with vander talking to vi” IT STARTED WITH THE OPPRESSION OF ZAUN CREATING IMPOSSIBLE CIRCUMSTANCES! It started bc living in a system where struggling for clean air is the norm and violence means respect will bring more violence to your doorstep. It started when everything you do is determined by someone who could buy and sell your entire family a million times over. It started with the apathy and malicious behaviors of people who couldn’t care less and blaming the people reacting to that treatment - to CHILDREN reacting to that treatment is insane.
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Jon: I’m sorry! It was a knee-jerk response!
Aegon: WHO THROWS A DAGGER AS A KNEE-JERK REACTION?!
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kimtaegis · 6 months ago
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@ye-xiu's favourite taemin looks ↳ happy birthday, al! ✨
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towards-toramunda · 2 months ago
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So this is what I do when I’m off of work and going insane about Chappell Roan’s VMAs look
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Full character sheet below
This was a lazy character sheet don’t be insane at me in the notes
But she’s a level ten paladin of devotion with five levels of bard college of glamour
In my mind she’s a follower of the Moonweaver cause thats gay as hell
I gave her armor of fire resistance cause the performance had lots of fire and I thought it’d be cool
I gave her a holy avenger cause fuck you thats why
I gave her a stone of good luck cause good luck babe
She’s a human but using the new PHB rules cause I liked the new rules for humans and wanted to play around with them
Feats: lucky, sentinel, savage attacker, and magic innate cleric (from the acolyte background)
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