#but i dont wanna just ask or pressure anyone into thinking they gotta

[lynxgirlpaws]

When I said someone should beat me up and bully me I did not mean my immune sysyem *sniff*

[citrine-elephant]

leon s kennedy would definitely be the kind of guy to physically overexert himself and take on as much of the labor he can because he feels bad if he doesn't. even if it's fair share, he's gotta jump in and help out.

dead tired, exhausted. who cares if he's being taken advantage of and used because the other party(s) know he'll do whatever he's asked. he feels bad. he feels like he isn't doing enough.

[satansdarlin]

can i request headcanons for the monster trio plus ace with a Fem!reader on her period?

Sure! Some of these are based off of personal experience of what my boyfriend does for me

Period headcanons (monster trio, plus ace)

Warnings: talk of blood (obv), slightly suggestive in ace's part.

Masterlist

Luffy

Man does not get it at first. Straight up thought you were dying.

But after some explanation from Robin, you, and Nami beating him, he finally gets it.

Still doesn't understand it in full but gets the most part

This man is now glued to you hip, even going as far as to deny playing games with usopp and chopper.

He kinda treats it like you are recovering from a injury

So obviously you need help with everything in his mind

Taking a bath? Now luffy has to sit in the bathroom and make sure you don't hurt yourself

Hungry? Omg so is he!

You wanna lay in bed all day? He's gonna cuddle you for most of it

Once he discovered the chocolate thing he made sure you had what kind you wanted.

In short luffy is the kind of boyfriend to constantly be beside you during your period if he can help it.

"Y/N can bleed for days and still be able to work! She's so cool right?!"

Sanji

Ngl man has been prepared for this day

He knows your cycle better than you do man

Like he is prepared with extra blankets

Red meats to help you recover the iron you loose

Mentally prepared for any mood swings you might have

And has stocked up on a stash of snacks just for you during this time

While he is the most attentive and loving during this he is also the absolute worst in the best way possible

He's just trying to be helpful and you know that

But he is also making you eat liver and kidneys because you need the protein and iron

Also the type to just straight up scream at anyone who bothers you during this

You are his baby. Gotta keep you safe and happy especially when you are aching

"Come on, sugar. Eat the kidneys it's good for you- LUFFY DONT YOU DARE EAT THAT"

"But she doesn't want it"

"Shut up stupid. Come on now honey eat the food I even have some chocolate chip cookies waiting after you finish this"

Zoro

Unbothered king

Straight up just doesn't care about bloody sheets or mood swings

He kinda thought you had a wound at first that you had hidden from him and freaked the fuck out

But after some explanation and him examining you just to be sure, he understood.

Makes you drink water the whole time

Does not care if you complain about being bloated. you are drinking those eight glasses a day

Naps with you during your sleepytimes

Will hold his hand on your stomach to apply pressure when you ask

But will also make jokes about you being his ketchup packet

Will go shopping for your tampons, pads, period cups. Doesn't know what any of them are so he asks Nami and robin for help

Comes back with something from every brand he could find and is now deeper in debt to Nami

Also straight up growled at someone when he could see they were annoying you???

He is now your social shield. Will tell someone where they can shove it if they don't fuck off and let you rest.

"607...608...609....610- oh. Nap time already? Alright alright I'm coming woman- did you just call me your cuddle bear? No I'm not blushing shut up"

Ace

Ahem. Ace? More like living heating pad.

More than happy to hold you the whole time

Nice and cozy against those warm man titties 🤌

Anyway. He is absolutely one of the best about things

Completely indifferent if you snap at him. Understands that you are just easily frustrated and also sympathizes with you cause he can't imagine feeling like he wasn't in control of his own emotions

Nap time? Great! He sleeps more than you.. actually he might have a iron deficiency now that I think about it

Warm hands on belly at all times

Will knead at your belly to help soothe out any cramps

None of these men care about blood. It's just the pirate way.

Has his red wings. You know what I mean ;)

"Here, lemme warm you up. Sh sh don't cry, you aren't bothering me at all baby"

[chaos-grimlin]

Intro: No one truly knows what happened that night in Woodsboro, California. All the public knows was that two teenage boys, Billy Loomis and Stu Macher, went crazy. That the boys killed with no motive, that it was a case of crazy and peer pressure. Sidney Prescott, the "girlfriend" of Billy Loomis,Y/n L/n, the girl both boys were deeply obsessed with, and Gale weathers, a news reporter, where 3 of 5 witnesses that were willing to talk and tell their sides of the story to the public while Dewy Riley, the deputy sheriff of woodsboro, and tennager Randy Meeks refused to talk to law enforcements at the time. All the stories told to law enforcement seem to differ from person to person, but...in this tale, we will focus on Y/n, the obsessions, side of the story...

Marked (Poly Billy loomis and Stu macher x reader)

Word count: 1034

Chapter 5- y/n please hurry

^^^still 3rd person P.O.V^^^

Casey felt her blood run cold.

"What..what did you say?" She choked out.

"I wanna know who im talking to" the man said, trying to switch up what he said, yet.. As he said those words... Casey heard her neighbors dog start to bark.

"Thats..thats not what you said" Casey said, her eyes wide in fear as she eyed her front door.

"What do you think I said?" The voice asked, slightly getting aggressive.

Casey turned to her patio door and turned on the light, her nervous eyes looking all around the back yard, yet she didnt see anything or anyone.

"What?...hello?" The man asked, seeing how Casey had gotten so... Quiet..

"Look...i gotta go.." Casey said her voice shaking as she turned off the light.

"Wait! I thought we were gonna go out?" The voice said with a whine.

"Uh nah..i dont think so" Casey muttered as she locked the patio door.

"Don't hang up on me!" The man voice growled out as Casey hung up the phone...

The smell of burning popcorn and metal started to swirl around the kitchen as Casey walked out from the patio. Her movements were unsteady and she still felt scared.

Casey held the phone in her hand as she walked back to the kitchen..then...the phone vibrated in her hand and the now eerie ringing rung around her hazy mind.

Casey closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. "Shit.." She muttered. A thought crossed her mind that maybe, hopefully.. It would be Steve or Y/n calling her..

"Yes?" She asked, her voice quiet.

"I told you not to hang up on me" the taunting male said.

"What do you want?!" Casey hissed out, growing irritated and scared.

"To talk" the male purred out.

"Well.. Dial someone else okay?!" Casey yelled, raising her voice and throwing her arm up slightly before hanging up.

Casey sped up her walking, gripping the phone tightly in her hand.

Casey sped walked closer and closer to the kitchen, hearing the popcorn burn and sizzle.

Casey went to grab the sizzling popcorn off the stove but the phone rang again.

"LISTEN ASSHOLE-"

Casey started but she was cut off.

"Cas what the hell?" Y/n said over the phone.

Casey felt a weight be lifted off of her shoulders as she heard Y/ns soft voice.

"Oh Y/n im so sorry! Theres been this guy calling me all night and at first it was fine till he said he was watching me..." Casry whispered as her eyes trailed up from the popcorn and around her house as she felt eyes on her.

"Oh shit...well im like....20 minutes away..just ignore the man who's calling you...okay? Everything will be okay Cas... I promise" Y/n said.

Even though Casey couldn't see Y/n, she knew that Y/n had a soft smile on her face, the same smile she'd always do when she was comforting someone.

"Okay..just please hurry up" "Okay I will..bye bye love ya Cas" "love you too..."

Then..the phone hung up.

Casey let out a sigh as she rubbed her eyes and let them fall back onto the popcorn that was smoking... But... Her attention was soin again averted back to the phone that again.. Rung in her hands.

"Hello?" Casey said, worried it was the man.

"You listen here you little bitch! You hang up again and ill gut you like a fish! Understand?!" The violent, aggressive male voice rang through the phone.

Casey felt all the color leave her body as she heard his words...

"Yeahh" he said, drawing out his words with a snarky laugh.

"Is this...some kind of joke?" Casey said as her throat tightened and tears built up in her eyes.

"More of a....game really" the voice said, the words spilling from his lips like butter.

"Can you handle that?" He purred, taunting Casey almost.

"Blondie?" He added.

Casey felt her breathing labor slightly...she knew...100% now..that..somone was watching her...

Casey's flight or fight sences kicked into hyperactive as she started rushing through her house, her clammy hands fumbling to lock the doors and windows to her house.

Casey fumbled and almost fell to the ground as she locked her front door then stood on her tippy toes and looked out the windows on the door. Hoping to see Y/ns car pull up in the driveway...but she saw nothing..

"Can you see me?" The voice whispered.

Caseys eyes shot around, analyzing everything around, yet still, she saw no sign of any human life.

Her breathing was labored as she spoke "Listen, i am two seconds away from calling the police" she hissed out.

"They'd never make it in time..were out in the middle of no where" he said with a deep chuckle. The man knew that if he could eliminate Casey...then

...it would destroy Y/n..it would mentally fuck with her...to the point... She wouldnt get in the way..

"What do you want?" Casey cried.

"To see what your insides look it!" The man yelled out so loudly it made the phone sound like static.

Casey pushed a button and hung up the phone. Her fave scrunched up as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Please..y/n...hurry up" Casey said to herself as she stumbled slightly.

Then..the door bell rang three times and Casey let out a small scream before her hand shot up and covered her mouth.

"Wh...whos there?!" She screeched with a voice crack. She prayed that it was Y/n or Steve...but she knew in the back of her mind..that it wasnt...

"Im calling the police!" She cried out as she grabbed the phone again, but once she did, it violently rung in her hands, making her nearly jump out of her skin.

She answered the phone and slowly pressed it to her ear.

"You should never say "whos there!" Its a death wish! Dont you watch Scary movies?" The man taunted Casey... Yet all she could do at this point was either fight...or die...

[aclosetfan]

I like to imagine Buttercup has no shame in wearing a dress because she looks good in one. From formal to sundresses, she could be that one chick that shows off her piercings and wear sandals to show off that one ankle tattoo. I think she's confident enough to dress in a liberated sense going off of the show.

I also like "cover up, Buttercup" because it does show how society could affect even a girl of her caliber. It can mirror how soft and vulnerable she really is. She cares what the people think of her, but it only works, if she's genuinely undesirable.

What I don't like is the "not like other girls" label people sometimes put on her. She is exactly like other girls, except she has power and strength to best her enemies.

It rubs me the wrong way because it's inadvertently saying "She's better without trying" and I don't agree.

"She's ugly, but she has a hot body and a pretty face, and all the guys wanna date her and chase her" And then she doesn't wear a dress because she isn't "girly" enough as if anyone would actually care.

I just want some clarity. If the reason Buttercup is ugly is because she's "tough" then I'm going to need some real "ugly" characteristics to go off of like, shes grown into an actual unlikable bitch, or she's so far removed from societal pressure, she picks her nose and spits in public. Shes gotten ocerweight over the years and lost her physique but can somehow still outtrun a man. Shes extremely annoying and loud and doesnt practice the best hygiene so she smells after gym class. She has scars and bruises all over her face from all the fights shes been in.

Not all of this at once, or hell, do all of it at once!

And, I dont care that people make her attractive. I care that it's overplayed.

Not saying pretty girls don't get flak, nor am I saying you gotta go the whole mile to make her undesirableness realistic. I'm just calling the spade a spade.

Being tough isn't enough for her to feel outcasted when she's a HERO. people worship it, Praise her and love her for her bruteness. And if you give her talents, the only haters are jealous girlies who cannot get on her level.

some guy telling her she isn't enough because she'd punch a man and win, shouldn't be enough to make her throw all her skirts away. 10 guys wouldn't if ten fold are still gonna be up her ass crack anyway.

Buttercup is literally flipping her hair and batting her lashes in the cannon series and people are still trying to give her Bunny's backstory.

Truth is, Buttercups the pretty one too, she's just the pretty one who'd knock a bitchs teeth out. Never stopped those types of women before from being oggled at.

Prime example

lol my response is under the cut because I don't want the post to be too long!

I feel like I've gotten a few ask now that critique stories that focus on the superficial aspects of the girls, like if they're described as "pretty" or "ugly." I'm starting to think that the frustration isn't so much that the girls are described as such but because it's just bad writing (a never-ending complaint I have, haha).

The previous anon also discussed Buttercup being either too feminine or masculine, and I just remembered that I hadn't responded. However, I believe she can be as hyper-masculine or feminine as the person using her character wants them to be. It doesn't matter to me as long as her characterization is consistent. Some people connect with Buttercup because she is the more masculine of the three girls, and that's wonderful and amazing. I love how she's become a character people identify with when they're messing around with their gender presentation.

Beauty and gender are all in the eye of the beholder, so what is ugly to one person can obviously be beautiful to the next. It's bad form then that people often use the word "ugly" when Buttercup is presented as "hyper-masculine." There's nothing ugly about being hypermasculine (and also, while I know you didn't mean it this way in your ask, either is being overweight). However, what's truly ugly is how a person presents themselves. A loud, obnoxious, mean-spirited, "bitchy" nose picker is probably going to be an ugly person like you described.

When writers focus so much on describing what a character looks like, especially characters they're writing fanfiction about, they're describing a "person" who the reader already knows what they look like or has their own idea of what the character should look like. Readers don't need to know how pretty someone is or what dress they're wearing if it doesn't lend to the story you're writing, which is really hard for a lot of amateur writers, like myself, because you can see the scene so clearly in your head and want to write it just that way, but giving readers every. single. detail. is actually doing yourself a disservice. Oftentimes, too much description makes the reader mad because "HEY! NO! they look like [xyz]," and then they click out of the fic.

I stay vague when I describe essential features. Like Bubbles has a dimpled smile, or Buttercup's hair is cut short. Maybe even, "Buttercup put on her favorite green sweater." Small shit like that gives readers a clue but still lets them copy/paste their ideas over mine.

But to make readers know "hey people find this person attractive but she doesn't notice," I practice SHOWING not telling. Like, Buttercup walks into a room, Butch observes all eyes are on her, she doesn't notice the attention because it's the same attention she's always dealt with, and because she doesn't pay attention to it, she comes off aloof or "bitchy" from Butch's perspective. How would Butch know any better? He can't read her mind.

That's why writing in other povs and making the character do things is so much more beneficial to their perceived attractiveness than just flat-out telling a reader "trust me, you'd bone her if you had the chance, she's so hot." You get a chance to establish personalities, relationships, and potential conflicts.

Another example is if you h/c Buttercup wears dresses, no other character is going to react to her wearing them. You state, "Buttercup put on her dress." If you want to specify what kind of dress you say, "it was her most comfortable t-shirt dress. She liked it because it had large pockets." Then, boom, that's it. In these instances, describing her appearance is used to convey her personality traits/motives (she likes to dress comfortably. She has a need for large pockets). You're not saying that Buttercup is a "GIRL WHO LIKES DRESSES BECAUSE SHE'S FEMININE, GOT IT?!? BUT SHE STILL KICKS ASS!!" Instead, you're giving yourself the opportunity to explain she likes to collect rocks (??) while also conveying that she likes wearing clothing that people could perceive as "feminine."

If Buttercup is forced to wear a dress that she doesn't want to wear, now, you have a bit of a story to stretch out. Her wearing a dress is odd. People irl would take notice of it, and therefore, you can make a bigger deal about it.

And if you want to show that she's "not like other girls," which I agree is an annoying trope, but I understand some people want to show "feminity" while still preserving their "masculinity," you can do this at the same time you're developing Buttercup's relationships. Example: It is remarked Blossom and Buttercup are both wearing dresses. Blossom and Buttercup both get their dresses dirty. The scene pans to Blossom being frantic about getting the dirt off, bemoaning her appearance. The scene pans to Buttercup, she is shin-deep in a mud pit, stuffing a particularly large bullfrog into her large dress pockets, next to the cool rocks she found.

A scene like that shows that Buttercup likes wearing dresses, but isn't afraid of dirt, rocks, or frogs, as opposed to Blossom, who may be reacting more "appropriately" to their situation, making it clear Buttercup has other priorities ("isn't like other girls" w/out explicitly saying "I'm not like other girls, I like dresses and dirt.").

You mentioned that you like the idea that she'd be confident wearing a dress. Perfect! If she doesn't do it often, and you want to make a bigger deal out of it, you can be like:

Buttercup clicked her tongue as she picked through her closet, pulling out a black halter top dress Bubbles had made her buy two or so years ago. She examined the short number and grinned. When she tried it on, it was a bit tight around her ass, but her arms looked fantastic.

"You're wearing a dress!?" Bubbles gushed walking into the room as Buttercup checked herself out, "What's the occasion!"

"Isn't it obvious?" Buttercup turned around, flexing her arms and shoulders, and they really did look good in that dress, "I got a new tattoo!"

"Oh cool! Is that a bullfrog?" Bubbles asked leaning in to examine Buttercup's upper shoulder.

"On a cool rock!" Buttercup beamed, standing a little prouder, "Badass, right?"

The dress is important to the story. The writer was able to point out she doesn't wear them often, people are surprised when she wears them, she doesn't mind wearing them, how attractive her arms were, the tattoo, and that her ass stretches out the dress, which some people could also find attractive. It doesn't make her seem vain, conceited, or "better" than others. She just knows she looks good.

I mean, I think it gets the job done, and it isn't just a list of what she looks like.

tldr: Essentially, no matter how masculine or feminine you think Buttercup should present, literally, no one cares what she is wearing if it isn't important to the story.

[cerealmonster15]

i think 12 would be really fitting for epel n deuce ( epeldeuce ?? deucepel ?? ) , if youd wanna do that !! :D i am also a huge leovil shipper dkkgkva 👉👈 , so if you wanted to challenge yourself you could do them with 12 or 16 ? tho no pressure , i know you already said u werent sure if you could write leona but u also said ud liek a challenge , so i hope its okay to suggest ówò id be happy with either , and also its no problem if you dont get around to either of them !! 💖🌈🍀

HI SORRY you sent this on OCTOBER 30 and i am getting to it... at the end of february LOL i got stuck for a while but!!!!! I managed an AppleJuice bc i thought it was cute 😌 I thought about trying the leo/vil too bc i do think they're a very fun ship hehe, but I've not been hit by the inspiration for them just yet so I'm just keepin that in the back of my brain for now in case i suddenly think of something lol.

BUT FOR NOW. APPLEJUICE LADS!!! I kind of strayed a little from the initial intent of the prompt but... close enough!!!! [if anyone's curious or wants to send a suggestion, it was from this prompt list lol] HOPE YOU SEE THIS!!!!

[AO3 link]

Prompt: Sneaking away to a hidden corner to share a secretive kiss.

“Take a five minute break,” Vil Schoenheit called from the front of the room. “I want you all back in your places on time ,” he said, narrowing his eyes as he spoke. “I’m starting my timer, and if you’re not ready by the time the music starts, you’re doing laps outside! Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir!” The group called back in ranging levels of enthusiasm. 

“Ughhh, I’m dying!” Ace complained as he flopped down on the floor. 

“Vil sure is… a strict coach…” Deuce said between breaths. 

Epel solemnly nodded as he came to sit beside them. “I didn’t think he could get stricter than he already is daily in Pomefiore, but… training camp has definitely proved me wrong.”

“God, I dunno how you two are still alive when you gotta do those extra ballet lessons on top of everything else,” Ace said, sitting up to give Deuce a nudge with his elbow. “Why’d you volunteer for extra exhausting work, anyway? Don’t you have enough trouble just trying to keep to the basic routine?” He asked with a smarmy grin. 

Deuce scowled back at Ace. “Shut up! I’m taking the opportunity to work harder and improve myself!”

“Yeah, yeah. Good luck with makin’ things harder for yourself.”

Deuce looked like he was going to argue more, but was interrupted by the sound of his stomach gurgling. Ace laughed at him, earning him another glare from Deuce. 

Epel also couldn’t help but laugh quietly. “Deuce, I still have some apple chips in my room, if you want some?”

Deuce’s scowling face immediately softened as he turned towards Epel. “Oh, uh, are you sure? I don’t wanna take your food…”

“It’s alright! I have plenty to share,” Epel gave Deuce an earnest smile as he stood. “I have a lot of extra juice still, too, if you want me to grab you some?”

Deuce got to his feet as well. “No, that’s okay; you don’t have to carry it all by yourself. I’ll come with you!”

“Bring me back some juice!” Ace said as he gave Deuce’s leg a gentle kick. 

“Get it yourself, Ace!” Deuce responded as he quickly hurried towards the stairs. 

“Nooo, but I’m tiiiiired!” Ace complained from where he remained on the floor. 

Epel laughed as he ran after Deuce up the stairs and into his room. He picked up a nearby box, and brought it over to sit on the bed as he opened it up. “Y'know… I’m really glad you chose to do the ballet lessons, Deuce.” He said softly as he handed Deuce a bottle of juice and some apple chips. 

“Really?” Deuce accepted the apple snacks and sat beside Epel. 

Epel nodded. “It’s a lot more bearable with you by my side,” he said with a smile, and then busied himself with opening his bag of apple chips.

“Oh, uh…” Deuce also pretended to look busy as he fiddled with the cap of his juice. “Th-thanks… I think it’s more fun doing things with you, too…” he punctuated that statement by taking a very long and slow swig of his drink.

Epel smiled again, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as he slowly looked up at Deuce… And then quickly leaned in to press a kiss to Deuce’s cheek.

Deuce promptly began choking on his juice as his eyes widened in surprise. “BFH- WH- HUHGHK?!” he exclaimed ever so eloquently. 

Epel laughed softly and pat Deuce on the back. “Hehe, sorry. Are you alright?”

Deuce sputtered and coughed for a few more seconds before nodding. “Urk- uh, y-yeah, sorry. Just, uhh, a little caught off guard?”

Whatever either of them might’ve said next would be cut short as Vil’s voice called out from downstairs. “PLACES IN 15 SECONDS!”

“Oh! Guess we’d better go,” Epel said as he quickly got up and hurried towards the door.

“Wh-!? Epel! Wait!” Deuce said, getting up to chase after him. “What did- We just- Hang on a second!”

Epel just laughed and ran down the stairs. “Hehe, sorry! Time for practice, Deuce!” He grinned as he rushed to get into position before Deuce could question him further, and before Ace could complain that neither he nor Deuce brought him a bottle back in time.

The nerve, really.

Still, as Vil began to count them in, Epel stole a glance over at Deuce, who looked back at him, face still a bit flushed.

They shared a smile, and practice resumed once more.

[hypnified]

I want to be shipped with one of your OCs pleaseeeeeeeee 😁

Female, 27, 5'7", 105 lb, caucasion, blue eyes, brown 3B type curly brown hair that sits just below the shoulder, glasses, freckles everywhere except my face, and long freaken legs.

I have no idea what my personality letters are, but I'm an extroverted introvert. I am a leader, not a follower. I love public speaking and being in front of a crowd, but I also love my quiet alone time where I can write and think in peace. I love people, and I also can't stand people. I'm a lazy, do-nothing Saturday person, but also a let's do everything humanly possible person.

I'm incredibly introspective and inciteful. I spend most of my time in my head and am often asked for advice from others. Don't ask me how I know what the right thing is, I just know. 100% self-sufficient. If I dont know something, I will figure it out. Great sense of direction. I travel for work and I absolutely love it.

No nonsense, and an aversion to stupidity. Master of eye rolls and of sassy one liners. I can let loose once and a while, but only if I've known you for a longgggggg time. If you get to hear me cackle like a hyena, you've made it. Mostly dry sense of humor, but apparently, people still find me funny. I can have a crowd roaring in 5 minutes, but I can't carry a one on one conversation without being awkward.

I am prone to sensory overload, get migraines, and have low blood pressure. I may pass out on you, but I give out instructions on what to do if it happens. Im straightforward, and I will let you know exactly how I feel. There is no pussy-footing with me. I don't lie to make people feel better.

I am probably the most confident person you will ever meet IRL. I am a public speaker, so it comes with the territory. Also, I am a female in a male-domnaited industry, so I either suck it up or get wrecked. Most of the time, though, I'm wrecking the guys. Once I crush their egos with my knowledge and wit, they give me their utmost respect. I don’t have many insecurities, and the ones I do have don't run my life.

Oh, and underneath all of that, I am an absolute sweet person. I will shower you with kisses and hugs and so much love. I just gotta put my thick skin on when I go to work. Loyal to a fault. If you've gained my trust and respect, I will defend you to the ends of the earth. I have fought people before, and i will do it again. I am also a sucker for domestic life, and I can do everything from clean, cook, bake, laundry, gardening, and repairs. I would make a fabulous wife for the right guy.

I hope that wasn't too much...

@the-bad-batch-baroness

I just finished baking so time to answer some more oc ship asks! The longer the better it makes it easier for me!

At first I thought Erix, but I'm also getting Phoenix vibes!

Phoenix is an ambivert, but he doesn't lean towards being introverted or extroverted he's just there I guess. He's more of a follower, Laz is more of a leader. But he also won't sit for anyone's shit, but not much really bothers him. He's very picky with his company, which tends to upset some people but he doesn't care about it too much. He's a menace, and has no problems with being a little shit but he knows when to tone it down. Phoenix is really good at making people laugh and not even he knows why, it kinda just happens!

He's completely fine with you being awkward, if you still wanna talk he can keep the conversation going without any problems. But he won't force it either! If you pass out on him, he's one of the best equipped out of all my clone boys, so you're in safe hands. But if anyone approaches you I can't promise he won't get snappy, but a morbid joke is all he needs to shut someone up.

Phoenix really appreciates how straightforward you are, he's fairly blunt and he can't count on one hand the amount of times he's offended someone. Thanks to his death and the trauma that came along with it, he's not exactly confident, he really admires your confidence. To him you're one if the coolest people in the world, and will not shut up about it Laz will actually tell him to shut up. He's so proud of everything you do, but if he gets too much please tell him he will listen.

Youll never be short of attention with this boy around, Phoenix will be reminding you you're loved, he's peppering your face in kisses, hugging you everything. He just wants to give you attention! But for the love of god, do not let him cook he will burn the house down to a crisp, once he's gained your trust he's not gonna break it.

[goldencherryhazz]

KISS IN THE KITCHEN

An: so in celebration of the fact that there is less then a week until I start my final exams I have a short fic for you and all the people starting or doing exam right now, good luck bby’s ! Also 700+ followers guys, are you kidding me!! Ily all 🥰

This includes a lotta fluffy fluff because that is what my heart craves! (I’m so stressed rn 😭) anyways hope you enjoy! Not proofread ofc, notes and reblogs would be much appreciated!

Stress and worry was the only thing encapsulating you mind at this moment in time, your final exams were just over a week away and the all you could seem to do was study for them.

Revising from book to book your folder full of notes and mind maps was almost bulging, mirroring what you felt your head was doing at that moment.

‘Baby, you alright in there’ Harry chirps as he peeks his head round the door, having not been home for very long after being at the studio for a good portion of the day.

‘Yeah I’m fine’ you clearly don’t tell him the truth.

‘Dont lie to me’ he can see the distress in your face and how your eyes are slightly red as you try to hold back tears from how stressed you were. Harry hated the sight infront of him, not you of course, but the fact that a stupid exam had you in bits.

‘I just don’t want to do bad, people have said this exam can be really hard and they wished they’d studied more, so thats what I thought I’d do but nothings going in’ you ramble as you let the first tear fall which was soon followed by some more.

‘Oh m’baby, c’mere’ he rushes to scoop you up from where you were sat, pulling you into his chest where you start to sob and Harry feels his heart pang as he tries to not get emotional himself, he just really didn’t like seeing you this way.

‘It’s okay darling, I’m here, s’all going to be alright I promise’ he tries to speak comfort to you.

After a few minutes he moves to sit down on the chair you were once sat on and has you straddling his lap as he was scared that eventually your legs would give way. ‘It’s okay baby, let it all out’ he presses a kiss into your hair as he soothingly rubs circles into your back. It’s when you start to hyperventilate slightly that tears his heart the most ‘gotta breath for me baby, in through you nose and out through your mouth’ and when you carry on he physically has to pull your face out of the crook of his neck and have you face him.

‘In and out darling, gotta breath for me’ he demonstrates and you eventually start to follow.

‘Good girl’ he praises when you regulate your breathing, the only sound now emitting from you were tiny whimpers as you start to calm down, your head falls limp in the hold of his hands, truly showing how tired you were and harry takes the chance to wipe the water that had gathered on your now tear stained cheeks.

‘Sorry, this is soo silly’

‘No it’s not, the only thing that is silly is that you are putting to much pressure on yourself darling’

‘I just don’t want to disappoint anyone’

‘Who are you going to disappoint? he asks he asked in bewilderment.

‘I don’t know, you…my parents’ you try and think of some more but you realise that you couldn’t.

‘You are definitely not going to disappoint me, you are the most intelligent and most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on, and for your parents, I know they would be saying the exact same thing baby’

‘I just wanna do well’ you sniffle into his shoulder.

‘You are gonna do soo good baby, I know it. You just gotta rest now, no point overloading and stressing yourself out’

‘I know, but my exams are a week away, need to do some more’

‘Not a chance darling, think you should take a break cause I hate seeing you like this, I really do’ he pouts.

‘Maybe could just have the rest of tonight off’

‘And tomorrow’ Harry pipes up.

‘But-‘ you try to protest but Harry is having none of it.

‘Nope, no buts baby, you need to recharge your batteries’ he didn’t want to take the decision off of you but judging by your state you definitely needed a break to relax yourself, and he knew that you wouldn’t refrain yourself from overworking.

‘Okay’ you agree dropping your head in defeat onto his shoulder, knowing that he was right and that you needed to take care of yourself a bit more than you did.

‘That’s my good girl, now let me take care of you’ you face his mmm and smile softly.

‘C’mere petal, got some mascara on your cheeks’ Harry starts the thumb off the black streaks, his eyes peering at you in concentration.

‘I love you’ you can’t help but burst out when he’d finished, feeling like crying all over again at how tentative he was.

‘I love you too baby…I’m gonna go run you a bath, does that sound good?’ He whispers as if he knew that you had a headache at that moment.

‘That sounds amazing H’ you practically moan because you back had been aching from being leant over you desk for such a long time.

‘C’mon then’ he taps you thighs signalling you to get up from his lap.

‘Oh no, my legs seem to have stopped working’ you try to get up but flop back onto him.

‘Okay’ he swiftly scoops you as he stands, making sure that you don’t fall from his grip, the act making you giggle into his shoulder, and to be honest you felt like it was the first time you had properly laughed in days. Harry couldn’t help but smile at your sweet giggles, much preferring it when you were your usual bubbly state.

He carried you up the stairs without a care in the world, as if this were a normal situation between the two of you and now that you think about it, it probably was. The amount of times you had fallen asleep halfway through a film was ridiculous, but Harry couldn’t bring himself to wake you up from your peaceful state so always opted to carry your sleeping figure.

Once you both reach the bathroom he plops you down on the toilet seat, whilst he goes to turn the tap on for the bath, adding a copious amount of lavender bubbles and even a bath bomb, knowing the scent had its calming attributes which is definitely what you needed.

‘Are you getting in with me?’ You ask sweetly from you set on the closed toilet seat.

‘I would love to baby, but I need to go and make us some food?’

You go to protest and try to convince him to stay before he cuts you off abruptly ‘have you eaten today?’ He counters.

‘I had a slice of toast and a banana’ you list the very few items of food you had eaten, realising he did indeed have a point.

‘Gotta stop doing this to yourself petal, s’not good, don’t want you getting sick’ he says his eyebrows furrowing.

‘I’m sorry’

‘Its okay baby, I will go make something now and it’ll be ready for when you come down’ he says swirling his hand in the tub once more making sure that the water was the perfect temperature before shutting the taps off.

‘ What if I get lonely’ you pout.

‘Liste to me on the speaker, you usually do when I’m not here most of the time’ you smile at that because it was indeed true, Harry had caught you many times dancing and singing along to his music when he got home from work.

‘Okay, thankyou bub, kissy?’ You request and he instantly complies mumbling a small ‘your welcome’ between kisses.

‘If you need me shout me okay, and remember relax’ Harry emphisises and before you get chance to respond he is trotting down stairs, so that he could start dinner preparations and you can’t help but chuckle at you sweet boyfriend.

————

You spend about 25 minutes in the bath before you start to miss Harry, even though he was just downstairs. So you get out and dry your hair a bit with a towel before slipping on one of Harry shirts and a pair of shorts before you are rushing downstairs again, feeling a lot more relaxed compared to when you were first carried upstairs.

You find harry at the hob mixing a pot of spaghetti, and when you see the bowl of grated cheese ready to sprinkle on top of it you walk up to him before wrapping your arms around his figure and cuddling into his back.

‘Hiya baby, what are you doing back there?’

‘Lovin’ on you, because you made me my comfort food because your the bestest’ you ramble out.

‘What can I say baby, there isn’t anyone else that compares to me’ he says cheekily.

‘Your ego is way too big’ you tell him and he doesn’t argue because he knew it was true.

You hear Harry put the spoon down on the counter, before he is twisting in the cocoon of you arms to face you.

‘Dance with me baby’ he takes you by your hand, placing the other on your waist, and you love how random he is because he doesn’t even give you the chance to agree or disagree, not that you ever would, before he is swaying you both side to side, your dancing perfectly soundtracked by the soft jazz playing from the kitchen speaker.

Before long you have you arms looped around the back of his neck, you faces inches away from the other as you looked lovingly into each other’s eyes, big smiles gracing you faces as you dance rhythmically in the space of you kitchen.

‘Thankyou for tonight H, really don’t know what I would do without you, probably would have sent myself insane by now.’ You say sincerely, truly feeling like you didn’t deserve the man stood in front of you.

‘Don’t have to thank me darling, that’s why I’m here and besides I wouldn’t ever let you go on the way you were, care about you too much.’ He presses a kiss to your forehead, still swaying you back and forth.

‘Still got a headache baby?’

‘I do but it doesn’t hurt that much now’

‘Do you want some pain killers?’

‘Not just yet, think I know something else that would make me feel better’

‘And what would that be darling’ he smiles down at you.

You don’t give him and answer as you press your lips to his, he immediately kisses you back. One of his hands sneak up to catch the side of your face in his large palm to deepen the kiss, you noses bumping into the other looking as though you were trying to give each other Eskimo kisses at the same time, giddy smiles on your faces that were still barely centimetres away from the other when you gave yourself a little breather. Harry would catch you lips in his randomly, not being able to resist your soft lips in this close proximity.

In that moment you realise that the best remedy to all of you exam stress was right infront of you, dancing and kissing your boyfriend giddily in the kitchen whilst listening to soft jazz made your mind feel at rest, and you didn’t plan on leaving Harry side for the entire night, but Harry truly wouldn’t have it any other way.

[arcadejohn127-9]

Hello!1st I wanted to say i love your blog its *chefs kiss*,and 2nd could I request (i dont know if this is in someway triggering or not so i apologize) a MC who doesnt believe the brothers can love them 'cause they despise themself and they are so set on (?) with that mindset that the brothers cant convince them otherwise,but MC themself wants to feel loved they...just cant...and they just breakdown saying they arent special and when the brothers meet other humans they will realise that MC is nothing,that they are a horrible being and they will leave them for somebody better,does that make sense I dont wanna go too deep into it(totaaaaally not self projecting)I am so sorry if this is a sensitive topic,feel free to ignore this ask,this has been eating me out for weeks so I just wanted to seek some comfort.Once again your blog is great and dont overwork yourself, take care! :D 🤍

I've definitely been there and even now, I still have these fears. Growing out of these Insecurities and feelings are hard even if you work hard to be as confident as you can. One day it'll happen but until then you just gotta keep reminding yourself that you're worth the world

Also tip, please don't rely on others for self worth - people can be cruel or simply just unpredictable. Not all but until you see every colour of a person you don't know. If you depend on someone else to give you worth and make you feel good then that'll start a very unhealthy cycle for yourself

I hate this phase "love yourself before you love others" because you don't need to, you can find healthy and happy relationships whilst insecure. But I think what it really means is; get self worth before you love another. Make sure you don't do yourself damage by giving you Someone who does the bare minimum or will sometimes make you feel good but is usually a dick.

You can find love but that love can be wrong if you don't pay attention to the red flags. Don't let your insecurities drag you into unhealthy relationships.

Because you are stunning, worth it and loveable. You're Someone people can look up to or admire even if it's for something simple like your humour.

Also thank you, I'll be sure to not overwork myself, make sure you don't pressure yourself too hard about work or your hobbies. Hobbies are all about fun!

Warning: self loathing, depressive themes, angst

You could stand it.

Your eyes traveled along the gifts and trinkets that were in your room. Each one gifted to you by a powerful demon; a demon you live with.

You couldn't stand it.

You could get it; why would someone like that every like you? You weren't special and yet Everyone insisted that you were. You're not the key. Not anything Diavolo wants or expects. Definitely not what the brothers want.

You had to scoff. The brothers only like you because of Lilith, if you were related then they'd never see you as anything but some human. Lilith dragged you here, she made sure you came here and for what? To be always told you're going to be some big thing; someone to destroy hatred and help bring together three realms.

Do they not realize how much pressure that is??!!!! And the how are you even going to do that?! You're magic is unpredictable and useless - it perfectly reflects you.

You whimpered at your own thoughts. The word useless stinging at your heart; it was almost if a knife lodged itself into your chest. Constantly stabbing the word useless into it.

You were useless. They need to find someone who can actually live up to their expectations. Just a good for nothing human....why do they even like you?

You looked back at the gifts, your watery stare turning into a hateful glare.

The question was burning inside your head. You couldn't understand; what did he see in you? You're not special! You're not anything anyone wants you to be and you're just being forced on a pedestal you didn't make!

Why did he always look at you the way he does? Like you actually mean something. Why does he smile so softly when you enter the room?

Why would he be like that when you KNOW that as soon as he meets another human, he'll be running after them without hesitation. Everyone was so much more attractive than you and better than you - you couldn't get why he loved you. Why- no how?! You weren't good enough for him!

No matter how many times he says I love you or compliments you it leaves such a bitter disgusting taste in your mouth. You're so horrible you can't even let people be nice to you - it's all a lie anyway. No one could love you. Never. No one!

You were useless! Disgusting! You weren't even attractive! You weren't loveable! You're a horrible person who looks just as horrible as they are. How can they look at you like that?! How can they stand you?! You're nothing!

You don't get it!

Why?! Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why-!

A scream ripped itself out of your throat. Tears streaming down your face as you clutched your head. Your body curled into itself, shaking and trembling as you choked on your sobs. You coughed through it as you tried to breath but the tears kept coming. Drowning you as you desperately tried to breath under their weight.

The pain was unbelievable. You felt like your head was on fire. You could barely even make out the figure standing at your door. Whoever they were, they scooped you up from the floor and rubbed circles into your arms. You clutched to them for dear life as you cried.

Somewhere in your brain you could tell who it was and it only made you cry harder. Shame filling your lungs as you tried to escape their caring embrace.

"No-! Stop it! I'm nothing! I'm useless-! Let me go-!! Why- why won't you leave me alone?! I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! LET ME DIE-!"

were you dying? You felt like it. The ache was painful; your chest growing tighter and tighter. You pounded on their chest, demanding they let you be the useless thing that you are alone.

Lucifer:

He forced back his tears

Just rubbing circles into your skin as he held you

To think you were this Insecure despite being the nicest person who knew

You were Better than him and don't let pride stop you - you were amazing

"not good enough for me? What made you believe that...? You're perfect for me, you complete me."

You denied his claims, sobbing as you listed your insecurities

"Your insecurities don't define you, you're so much more than that - I wouldn't of picked you to be my love if I didn't think you'd be adequate."

He wasn't sure if you were still listening but he pushed past his doubts

Adjusting you in his embrace

"I- I'm not sure if I'm comforting you....I'm not good at being the gentle hand, I want you to see how I see you - you're kind, charming and always keeping me in awe, you mean so much to me, I'll trade anything I could just to see you smile - I love you."

Mammon:

There can only be one self loathing idioit in this relationship

He refuses to let you feel like how he has

His forced confidence - you could easily see through it - anyone could

But you were the only one who then actually helped him feel better when you did see through it

He let a few tears stray, holding you close

"did someone say something to you? I don't forgive 'em for ever making ya this upset, I'm not letting you feel like this."

You shook your head, muttering that he should let you

"why should I? You're my favourite person and you've only made me happy - so let me make you happy! You're the only person who's ever treated me the way ya treat me and I won't let you hate yourself!"

He hugged you even tighter, squeezing you as he hid his face in your shoulder

"you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, okay? You always know how to make me feel better and it's my turn to make you feel better but you gotta listen to me! I lo-love you! The great Mammon loves you so badly that he just wants to kiss you every day! You're amazing and I won't forgive ya if you let yourself keep going on like this, let me support you.... please...I don't want you to go."

Levithan:

He couldn't get it

He's always been jealous of your personality and ability to make others feel good

His envy makes him despise himself - so seeing you be the same, he couldn't take it

He gave you one big squeeze

"d-don't be stupid! You're the best thing that's come into my life - even better than ruri-chan!"

You didn't believe him, he was obessed with that character

"but it's true-! If I could I'd get loads of merchandise of you too because you're my favourite person! You're just like the protagonists I read about."

His face was beat red but he was determined to make you feel better

"You're Henry, you are brave and kind, always trying your best even if that best isn't up to your own or others standards, you Inspire me! I've thought about of making a series about you...so others can feel just as happy as I do when I see you, you make me feel less insecure and like I actually mean something - why can I do to make you feel the same? You mean everything to me! I really like you....I like-like you-! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY! Let me make you feel how you make me feel because then you'll see just how amazing you are!"

Satan:

Did someone makes you feel like this or was it just your own thoughts?

If it isn't the latter he'll need to find out who's hurt you

But right now, he hugged you tighter and cradled your head

He couldn't stand to see and hear you so destressed

"did I do something to make you feel like this? I'm so sorry if I did, I don't always realize when I come off rude or hateful- I could never hate you."

You held him tight, telling him to stop

"but I need to fix it if I've hurt you and if it wasn't me then whoever did needs to keep quiet, you don't deserve these feelings."

You huffed, trying to not cry more

He gave your Shoulder a small squeeze

"you're more than enough for me, you're so good to me - sometimes I wonder if I'm good enough for you, you're always so patient with me and don't make me feel like I'm some unthinking beast, you don't think I'm lying when I be genuine and that makes me love you - I do love you - you make me feel good and I want to do the same for you, you're beyond good and I'll always be happy with the person you are and can become because I know you can do so much and always bring positivity even in the darkest times."

Asmodeus:

He's crying too

He hated of being seen as insecure

He only wanted confidence

Seeing you sob and beat on yourself like this only reminded him of his most private moments

He held you even closer, rocking you gently

"No, dear, I love you too much to let you feel like this, you're amazing to me and I think you're better than even myself, you're my number 1."

You shook your head, telling him he's lying

"I'm not, why would I lie? You're the sweetest person I know, you don't see me as some sex object - you make me feel real and happy - so so happy."

He kissed the top of your head, hiding his tear streaked face

"I want you to be happy....you deserve it, you've got only so long to live and I'm so scared that you're going to hate yourself even until you die, I don't want that! You're beautiful amazing and I could never ask for anyone better! Please- just let's work on our confidence together...okay? You're so wonderful, don't let yourself become so hateful."

Beezlebub:

He's absolutely broken

How didn't he realize you felt this bad about yourself??

He didn't even realize he was crying aswell, just holding you close as his mind screamed at him

"did something make you feel like this? It hurts to hear you say these things."

You shook your head before nodding, muttering you just won't talk anymore

"I didn't mean that, I always want you to be open with me and if not me, atleast one of my brother's."

He picked you up, placing you in a more comfortable position and held you close to his chest

"I love you, it took me awhile to realize that but I do, you make me feel full and happy - like I just ate a big buffet of warm cakes and dishes, I'm always warm when I'm with you, I don't believe you're not good enough - you're kind to me and never judge me for eating, you help me with working out but most importantly, you fixed my family and brought my twin back, I don't know how to make you see how much that means to me and I don't want you to feel bad about yourself when you're always the best person in the room - you're really great."

Belphegor:

"just let me die"

Those words hurt him so bad

He was like that, he demanded to be left to Rot with his own self loathing when Lilith died

He pulled you close to his chest as he grabbed your shoulder

"You're not allowed to feel like this, you've done nothing to feel this much hatred towards yourself."

You told him he was wrong, crying harder

"when am I wrong? I- okay, I can be wrong but I'm not wrong about you, you're my favourite person which means I love you and I don't let my favourite people sit and cry."

He cuddled you, nuzzling his cheek against yours

"You saved me and I will never able to make it up to you, I've hurt you and I hate it- I hate that I'm a reason you get scared, don't ever let yourself rot away, when my brother's just leave me to sleep I always feel so much dread - that I'm being left to die in my bed and will never get to see their faces again - I'll never be able to see your face again....I wouldn't be able to take it.....seeing you everyday makes me want to leave my bed and always make sure you smile, let me make you smile again."

[low-budget-korra]

Lets talk about Korra (again)

i already made this analysis, and it was well received but i dont know, i wanna do it again. Why not right? My english is better now than was when i made that analysis so i think  this one will be better written

What a way to introduce a protagonist. This line and this scene tell us everything we need to know about Korra at that time and everything she knew about herself.

In book one Korra is a 17′s old teenager who have no idea how the world, how life is outside the training center she grew up in and had been locked up since ever. So she is not only naive but have lack of social skills

Oh, and not everyone who lack’s social skills will act like Zuko and Azula okay? Korra can be confident, expressive and outgoing and still have problems when it comes to social skills.One thing dont exclude the other.

“I’m the Avatar and you gotta deal with it” did you guys notice that only for that line we can see the entire opposite on how she treat her role as avatar in comparisson with Aang? And im not here to judge because is two very different contexts.

As far as we know, Korra grew up without friends or romantic partners. Of course, she had her training partners but i believe that they are just that. 

So her entarely perception of herself was around her duty as Avatar, she didnt have personal life, she barely was Korra...She was The avatar and thats that.

So she came to Republic City, it was a mess. 

Its funny to see that she have no touch when it comes to simply talk to people, i guess when you grew up away from society, this happens. And yes, she is cocky and had to learn that people arent there to somewhat please her, and she learned that quicky. 

Thats why the Pro Bending was important for her character, not only for training but also as means of socilization.

Now lets talk about the villains: Amon and Tarrlok

The two of them represents two differents threats to Korra. Amon represents a threat to her duty as Avatar while Tarrlok represents a threat to Korra as a person.

In episode 4 we have what i still thinks is the darker episode from TLOK. In this episode Amon ambushes Korra in the final moments... Even knowing that they did their best to make Amon’s power and control be non-sexualized as possible still...He have her down on her knews, totally helpless and he even invades Korra’s personal space by touching in her face forcing her to look at him. He didn't have to sexually touch her to violate her.

And right after, the fear in Tenzin voice when asking what happened after seeing her laying in the ground like that, and how Korra is sobing in his arms teeling him how powerless and helpless she felt. I mean...Oh, and she keeps terryfied by him until he takes her bending.

Tarrlok in the  other hand doesnt do much different from his brother and started to harass Korra because he cant take ‘no’ as a answer when Korra didnt wanted to join his task force.

Whats interesting is that if it wasnt for Tarrlok harassement and maniputation, Korra wouldnt have joined his task force and wouldnt have confronted Amon and wouldn't have gone through that terrible encounter.

The thing is that Korra is caught right in the middle of a politcal power dispute over the city, something that she for sure wasnt prepare for it. And both Amon and Tarrlok woud hurt or kill her without think twice about it if that means gain  power. And that was exacly what happened

Tarrlok tried to manipulate her and keep her on leash where he could, and when his tatics didnt worked anymore he alreay had a plan B. Yes that whole metal box in that cabin in the middle of nowhere was made especifically for her and maybe Tenzin if he also get in his way.

In the end Korra lost the physical battle against both but won the ethical battle also against both. She was the responsable for expose both of them as corrupted and hypocrites. But at what price? Amon was able to remove the bends of the Avatar. And without them, how could she be the Avatar?

Remember that her entirely conception of herself was built around her duty as Avatar, be the avatar. After all, everything she was, everything she'd trained so hard for, had been destroyed in minutes. Thats why i still strongly believe that she was thinking about killing herself at the end, nobodys goes all sad and crying to in front of a clifft without thinking about jumping from it. 

But she, i think given up the idea and just sit and started to crying when Aang appeared and help her, giving her bendings back in one of the best scenes of the show. So after have everything solve and still managed to get the boy she was in love with, things where great and she “move on”

In that first half, Korra is unbearable. Everything she learned in Book 1 how to be more mature, less spoiled and all, was thrown in the trash and she was the same "child" of the book one only worse.

Until I stopped and realized that I was also unbearable and childish like this when I had my bad phases of anxiety and depression, as defense mechanism and keep people away. Returning to Korra, and if this way of acting of her was nothing more than this defense mechanism?

Because guess what, i dont think she “move on” from all that happened in Book One that fast, and for add more drama she discovered that was her father idea of keeping her locked up training in that training center we saw in book one and not traveling like avatars before her. No wonder she felt betrayed. And for adding even more drama, people still keep treating her like child, so she was despered for some validation. Something that she found in her uncles arms but she was betrayed by him after.

In the end, Korra again goes through a traumatic experience when she has her connection with past lives destroyed. We see how it affected her when she apologizes to Tenzin, through tears. And Tenzin, as the excellent master he is, tries to motivate her to face Vaatu again (now merged with Unalaq, her uncle) and again she saves the day even after go throught a traumatic event

In the final moments, we see the innocent decision to reconnect the world of spirits and the world of men. And we also see Korra and Mako permanently end their turbulent relationship.

Book 3 begins in a more mature, we see all the characters being presented in a more mature way and it seems that Korra now has overcome everything that has passed. We have the relationship between Korra and Asami deepening as well

In Book 3, called "Change" we have a great sacrifice from Korra. Her life goes down a notch when she decides to save the new airbenders from Zaheer and the Red Lotus, the only villain until now that really threat her life since their sole goal was to kill the avatar.

Korra won again but this time victory costed way too much. Yes she save the day again but now she was  physically and psychologically defeated. It was too much, she broke.

Book 4 begins and we only saw Korra in the final minutes and she is unrecognizable. We see that, once proud and courageous avatar, in someone depressed and cowerd. We never have saw Korra like that, even when she was afraid of Amon she wasnt like that.

Korra is afraid of being the Avatar again and her fight against PTSD is still one of the most sensitive, responsable and honest representation of Mentall Issues that i saw, and it was before this subject gain more space on media. It was before people started to give attention to this

I also think that she was having flashs from her other fights and not only the one against Zaheer.

Another thing I think is worth mention is that Korra took 3 years to feel safer and re-embrace her duties as Avatar. It was not 3 weeks or 3 months, it was 3 years. And anyone who suffers from some mental illness knows very well the stigma that is, the fight that is, because everyone wants you to be well faster as possible  when the truth is that many times you spend years fighting against this.  And this is a pressure that falls on you.Imagine, seeing all your friends moving forward while you continue "stock in the same place"?

Only after Korra confronts Zaheer, I think that was a way to show her coping with the trauma, she improves to the point of returning to be the great Avatar we know. I personally still struggles with this scene because put the victim in front of her agressor may not be the best idea but i understand that she needed to see that he was just a man and not the invencible monster her mind was telling her

One of the lines that stuck with me the most was in the TLOK version of the ember island players, the one that made a recap of the show before the finale. When Korra said “I was so naive” just before we watch her narration of her journey, we can feel pain, sadness and strenght. Janet was amazing in the way the delivered this line.

And this fucking quote i saw here on tumblr still is the goat: “The Last Airbender is a story of a boy who becomes a god. The Legend of Korra is the story of a goddess who becomes a girl "

And I still get really pissed when someone comes to talk shit about  Korra because she is such an incredible heroine and her journey is also so incredible.

The story of how life can be hard and unfair, how it can hurt and paralyze, but there is always a reason to move on. We should always move on.

Korra is definitely not weak, quite the opposite, she is one of the if not the strongest heroine I have ever seen. Korra inspires overcoming 

[eddedneddy]

pleas Elaborate on that double dee headcanon I wanna know

anon thank you so much for asking about the double dee ed girl. the trans of gender ed girl.

I saw this post a while ago referencing an interview with the show's writers. I have been looking for said post AND the interview itself for the past half an hour with no success and i refuse to look any further because all google is offering are reddit threads on how everybody used to think edd was a girl, so i'll just go ahead unsourced hoping i'm not insane and hallucinated it or something.

In this alleged interview, when asked what the Eds would become as adults, one of the writers replied something along the lines of "Double Dee will become a woman" and i was like well. yeah. Trans woman Double Dee makes sense. Why the fuck not. Despite never having thought about it before then. It just really feels right for some reason. I kind of forgot about it for a while, and it came back to mind while I was thinking about things and stuff for my older eds headcanons.

I don't really plan on doing anything much with the designs and headcanons for the grown-up eds i posted not long ago, but the general idea for them was to represent the different ways in which i've found adulthood to be a gruesome ordeal to go through so far, to try and differentiate them from their tween selves representing the experience of a more or less carefree childhood.

I have this whole thing planned out in my mind about Double Dee growing up to be a painfully cautious adult, living life as a safe bet and always doing the most to never stray from the path of what is Right and Expected. Only to then have a well earned breakdown and realize that most if not all of the choices she's taken in life have been taken in order to please others. From her college choice, to the job she accepted once graduated, all the way to the belief that she has no real agency over her own identity, and that if everyone around her says she's a man and treats her as one, then disregard all the discomfort that causes her, she's gotta be one, right? Yeah no, the amount of layers of denial humans can operate under is amazing, but there comes a point in your life in which you kinda HAVE to take a good look in the mirror and put a stop to the bullshit before you go insane. A good starting point, in this case, would be to try and regain that lost authority over your own identity.

I realize nothing I wrote in that last paragraph was even remotely funny. Just me projecting onto cartoons, as I do. So yeah, to sum it up I think the idea of Double Dee being a woman is cool and The Boys would also be cool about it because why would they not.

Let's also throw in some Eddy hcs while we're at it, because I really like the idea of Eddy having a long-time violently repressed crush on Double Dee, and that after the Big Gender Reveal his internalized homophobia would release the choke hold it had on him, leaving him free to GO FOR IT. GET THE GIRL, MAIN CHARACTER. Except he would suck at it because of all the pressure and the repressed feelings and whatnot. dont really care why he would just be bad at it. I just think it's cool when things are awkward and don't work very well.

The feelings would be mutual, too, because it just makes sense for unassertive, polite and conscious double dee to end up with someone who's ambitious, bossy and self-unaware. it makes sense as in: i think it's a really funny dynamic and i like it. And with her not exactly being a clueless idiot, she'd be aware of her own feelings being reciprocated. Her mistake would be thinking Eddy would actually take the first step.

happy belated bi visibility day.

Also important, the name change. Which is proving to be an issue because I can't really think of anything good. You can't really change it that much, since the premise of the show is that they all have the same name.

Edda is an actual name that comes to mind but c'mon.

I mean. I'm gonna be honest, I actually kinda like the idea because my aunt is called Edda and with that Double Dee would have two aunt names. But yeah that's all I got. Let's just call her Double Dee.

I really want to go on but I don't know if anyone else but me wants me to. But anon thank you again for asking and giving me a reason to put my thoughts on this together.

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[jhan-jy]

MCC with Badboyhalo and Skeppy

MCC12 is done and I just thought of something. Skeppy and Badboyhalo fans really gotta sleep with the information that both of them could have been playing in MCC right now.  I’m just begging at this point for them to participate in MCC. It only got brought up by the fact that Dream talked about Bad in his stream being a good player in mcc, which he would be. Also the times that everyone teases Bad and Skeppy for sleeping in the event.  Thus, both of these muffin fuckers should try to participate again plsss

Tldr: I sob into my bed as I make another essay for block men instead of my school essays, or the “Badboyhalo and Skeppy should participate in MCC again cause it would be fun for them and the viewers” essay.

I mean- think of the teams!!! 

Bad, Dream, George, Sapnap can team (least likely) as the four muffinteers! Even just Bad teaming with one of his friends besides Skeppy is great content, he is so good with strats, him and Dream would nerd out tactics to win. Like have you seen this man in the Twitch rivals stream?!? He was checking out the map to find easy shortcuts and strategies to win against different teams, and they placed second! They won every single one except the last one. 

Skeppy with the iDots!! Finnster, TapL and Spifey got in you know?!? I just miss them man. I wasn’t part of the fandom when the iDots were well and alive, and I wanna see more of their dynamic! Skeppy would just be having fun with them even if they get lower scores.  Hear me out, this is the most chaotic team you could possibly find. Skeppy and Technoblade with Bad and Dream!! Skeppy and Technoblade’s friendship is severely underrated, as well as Bad and Dream’s friendship too! I think this team would be balanced, especially since it would be the first time they both played in MCC and with Dream and Techno having to show them the ropes. A great example would be Punz and Illumina, most thought they would score higher, even Dream, but in the end they ended with above average. Also more Bad and Techno interactions and more Skeppy and Dream interactions. Think about Dream, Techno, and Bad sharing strats while Skeppy just listens and follows their orders. Skeppy being supportive of Techno a lot, asking him for tips and tricks. Techno having less pressure because Skeppy and Bad are just being wholesome to him, Dream would join in the wholesomeness too!  I JUST LOVE THEM. Another chaotic team is Badboyhalo with Tommy, Quackity and Tubbo! If you tell me this team wouldn’t be interesting to watch, you are most definitely wrong. Tommy and Quackity could annoy Bad but as long as Tubbo is there to brighten him up, he’ll put up with it. That scenario would be in the hypothetical notion that Tommy and Quackity doesn’t want to win the MCC, but knowing them its probably the contrary. Just imagine Bad actually being a leader and telling the “kids” what to do with his strategies, I mean, this guy was a teacher that had his students win a dodgeball competition. He can easily adapt in MCC with the help of the “kids”  Also Bad blends so well with a lot of the people in mcc like Puffy, Hbomb, Nihachu, Karl, Wilbur, and so much more. This guy has so many friends and creates a lot of chemistries with the people he meets.  Skeppy would be fine in teaming with anyone too, Bad can probably help make Skeppy comfortable by being on the same team but that isnt really an issue. Skeppy is the same with Bad, in the sense that he can easily adapt to a person without changing his own personality. He is still gonna be the chaotic guy that cheers on his team mates.

But you know what would be extra funny tho? Badboyhalo and Skeppy being in MCC14. GUYS, ITS THE MEME NUMBER. 

If they dont show up in MCC13, I bet people would be asking Bad and Skeppy for MCC14, its just become such a meme now and really, they have to at least try. 

[notveryglittery]

so @/dysaniadisorder​ posted this really cute zoom moxiety art and then i posted some selfies in a discord server and the reactions from that + this moxiety art got me feeling even more Fluffy than usual so here’s a very rambly au that i stream of consciousness wrote in half an hour lol 

idk about anyone else, but i had a pen pal through english class in middle school for a little while. so what if, patton and virgil meeting through being pen pals. patton's letters are as bubbly as his stories, he includes stickers on the pages and the envelope, and uses *so many* exclamation marks. virgil meanwhile, tends to write very little and mostly just in reaction to whatever patton said. because sure, the letters are sent to the school and they've been told not to give away personal information, but y'know... Just In Case.

except for one towards the end of the program, when patton really doesn't want to lose contact with virgil, so he shares his instagram. and he says no pressure of course i dont even know if you have an instagram but here it is if you ever wanna try to keep talking. and bc roman's his best friend, of course virgil has instagram (ugh). so of course he checks patton's profile. and oh *no* he's as cute as his bubbly handwriting and his stories and stickers and exclamation marks

virgil's never really mentioned this whole pen pal thing to roman, because roman's english teacher did not sign her class up for it and he knows roman would be jealous. but he made the mistake of checking patton's profile in roman's presence and if anyone's going to notice a Gay Panic™, it's roman

so of course roman grills virgil and virgil caves bc like what?? else is he gonna do?? but anyway, roman hits the follow button for virgil but then virgil throws his phone across the room and breaks it so can we get an f in the chat

meanwhile patton's studying with his step-brother logan when he gets a little chime from his phone and? oh a new instagram follow that's neat, who's [insert cool username for virgil]? except of course virgil's profile is private so patton has to follow back to see any photos. except virgil's phone is busted! bummer

cue virgil not getting a new phone for a week or two bc idk he's in trouble for breaking the old one to begin with and by the time he finally does get a new one, he totally spaces on installing instagram. so it's like a month and a half later when roman asks him why the heck he hasn't been liking roman's pictures that virgil remembers. and then he also remembers patton. *oh god patton* how could he ever forget, he is a fool, and patton probably hates him now, or he must be super worried, bc the pen pal program is over so they havent been writing and then he just disappeared off the face of the planet which?? well patton should have expected it a little because he did say it would be okay if virgil didnt want to keep in contact but *oh god patton*

virgil installs instagram and finds patton's follow request (and like 32 comments from roman demanding that virgil like his photos what kind of best friend is he smh)

and he accepts it 

and then while he's still riding his bravery high, he messages patton "hey it's virgil" and then Very Calmly sets his phone down before screaming into a pillow

meanwhile patton's busy cheering logan on at his swim meet but this does mean that he's posting all sorts of encouraging cheesy stuff to his story which means virgil is already getting a sneak peak into patton's life and wait oh my GOD is that his voice???????

virgil is very gay and he is having a Time

anyway patton also almost breaks his phone when he sees the follow request approved *and* the message!!! because lowkey , he considers virgil a pretty close friend!! he vented in some of those pen pal letters! said some things he couldn't bring himself to say to anyone else. and virgil was always so patient and kind and reminded him of all the good things to help and balance out the bad things.

so y'know, fast forward thru lots of instagram interactions. messaging each other late into the night. virgil always liking patton's photos and leaving a single "💜" comment on every one. they talk about roman - and how he's virgil's best friend and he may be dramatic and loud but he's reliable and genuine - and they talk about logan - and how patton wouldn't know anywhere near as much as he does w/out him and how they have sleepovers in the basement every saturday.

and fast forward to moving on from instagram to discord, and joining servers of fandoms they're both in. making a server for themselves + roman + logan (and *oh boy,* introducing roman and logan). sending silly memes and posts that "made me think of you", late night texting that ends with one sending the final “i guess you fell asleep, sweet dreams <3″ message, and the other sending the “oops i did, good morning <3″ message in return 

and sure, roman might post pictures on instagram of himself and virgil, but virgil's always half-in half-out of frame or he's blurry or he's looking away. and so one day, he posts a selfie in their friend server because he's just got his hair dyed purple and he's *so excited* and patton. patton didnt even have time to prepare can we get an f in the chat

there are a LOT of keysmashes and hearts lol

roman is still laughing by the time patton manages to calm down. patton sort of flat out demands for a group video call aljsdf

logan and roman, all this time obviously because they can't be out done, have already had plenty of personal voice and video calls themselves. sometimes it's just to help roman run lines or help logan study for a test. but they have been on the receiving end of patton and virgil gushing about their respective crushes so they're in full support of this tbh

so they set up a group video call that night, roman and logan like immediately muting themselves bc let's be real we all know the real reason behind this. patton is gushing about virgil and virgil's hair like, right off the bat, and virgil is slowly but surely disappearing into his hoodie and the lighting in his room isn't very good, but gosh patton is *melting* and then

and THEN

patton pauses to finally drink out of his cooling hot cocoa and virgil takes the opportunity to clear his throat and sit up a little out of his hoodie cocoon and says thank you

and y'all we thought virgil was all Gay Panic™ when he saw patton's face in photos for the first time? and then he broke his phone when roman followed patton for him?

patton does a spit take and chokes on his hot cocoa and kind of maybe shorts out his laptop ajsdkjhsf

because we gotta go full circle baby

roman disappears from view on his camera because he just rolled off the bed he's laughing so hard

you know logan definitely anticipated this, so he's been on best buy's website this whole time, ready to find laptops on sale / schedule an appointment to get patton's laptop fixed

and uuuhhhh yeah :) pen pals to friends to lovers long distance moxiety, with background probably-qpr logince because that's the Vibe i'm getting. with bonus best friends prinxiety and familial logicality!! thanks for reading :D 

[nico-idc]

random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that.  Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently. 

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why. 

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now. 

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression. 

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory. 

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions. 

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”. 

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on  whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt. 

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first. 

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

omg hi im here to vent a lil 👉👈

YOU CAN TOTALLY IGNORE THIS AHAHA THIS IS HONESTLY JUST TO GET SOME FEELINGS OUT

stress is going whhooOOOOP from school hngndjg- lots of crying and pressure going on over there ewww (totally broke down on my way to krispy kremes BUT THATS OKAY!! isjdjdje literally couldn't breathe oop; also PLEASE talking to the cashier while there were tears under my mask KSJDIA)

gotta keep my gpa up, no matter whaaatttt

ALSO i got this decision i gotta make- ik if i dont choose this one option, imma regret it, but ill be very unhappy for another year or so. BUT THATS OKAY TOO :D

and i feel so unproductive irl :( i just cant bring myself to do work yk? i know how lazy im being, i tell myself to do work, but i still do nothing all day. and when the day's over, next thing you know, i did absolutely nothing and i totally beat myself up for not doing anything sdsjske- like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? WASTING TIME LIKE THIS?? the only thing im productive on is tumblr hehe

AHHKK AND I CANT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT THIS- i cant bring myself to talk to my friends- they all think im this happy bubbly person and i dont wanna kill the mood :( i just joke around yk?? "oh haha i did nothing all dayyyy~ its great being meeeee" LMAO AND THEY LAUGH AND IM JUST DKDUEIEO

hnnngg i also think i MAY be falling for one of my close guy friends oop- hes prrreeetttyyy much the only person who has a slight idea of how im feeling- PLEASE WE TALK EVERY DAY AND WJDJFIHSOS my hearttt- dont wanna ruin our friendship tho so i gotta shut up hehe (OSJFIEIE NOT HIM TEXTING AS SOON AS I FINISHED WRITING THIS OMG)

anywayyysss other than that IM DOING GREAT

SORRY THIS ASK WAS LITERALLY ALL OVER THE PLACEEEE

ILYYYYYY MWAHHH

SORRY FOR DUMPING THIS ALL ON YOU 😭😭😭

oh no morosis it’s okay!! honestly just tell me whatever you need whenever, bc omg this sounds so difficult for you rn 😭

AND I THINK YOU VENT A LOT LIKE ME?? It’S LIKE YOU LOWKEY TURN IT INTO A JOKE BC YOU DON’T WANNA BURDEN tHE OTHER PERSON, BUT THEN YOU’RE ACTUALLY DYING INSIDE AND WHEN THEY DISMISS YOU YOU GET CONFUSED LIKE IS THAT JUST ME

anyways-

any no no productivity guilt is 10000 percent understandable! i get it a lot (yes, a lot bc yes-) and honestly, i’ve just learned to accept that it happened, but never dwell on it ever again. and if i do it again the next day? i pick myself up (it won’t be easy, but you got this!) and say that i’ll just do better tomorrow, and mean it. the reason why we procrastinate isn’t because we have poor time management skills, it’s because we’re subconsciously trying to avoid things that could cause us pain, so we choose to avoid it instead. but if you get rid of the thing that causes you the pain, or at least make it easier, then you’re more likely to get started. 

as someone who has adhd and procrastinates more than anything else, a huge huge tip would definitely be to start with something that you know you can’t fail. for instance, just start off with something as simple as pulling up that Google Doc, or opening up your assignment, or flipping to that page in your notebook! just do the bare minimum, and start off with that.

some other productivity tips that have seriously helped me are: 

1. listen to lofi music, and i MOST DEFINITELY recommend Avatar: The Last Airbender for that specific genre! that’s because i’m always hanging around in the fandom, but if i’m listening to something from it, it’s like i’m already subconsciously hanging around in the fandom while i’m doing the work. 

2. or listen to some haikyuu lofi music by Ambition lol-  

3. clean your fricken room, this took me 50 years to get-- clear room, clear mind!

4. Use the Pomodoro strategy! do 25 minutes of deep work, block all other sites, and then after take a five minute break. it’ll go 10x faster than it normally does if you don’t get started, and you can always find Study With Me videos on YouTube!

AND OOOOH LA LA A CUTE BOY??? dang girlie, idk how you fall in love with real people but i got so much respect for ya 😭😭 ALSO NO DON’T FEEL SORRY YOU MATTER TO ME AND I CARE ABOUT YOUUUUU ILY