#but i dont blame him too much he was just trying make a better life for himself which i want
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bonniesbluee · 6 days ago
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can u tell the story how was the house with the boys before exhusband!art nd reader get divorced? 🥺🥺🥺, i wanna now how they face each other, touch each other, speak to their kids, nd do the gentle parenting, thank uuu luvs
pre-divorce!art . . . (what caused the divorce muehehe)
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at the start of the marriage, it was beautiful. he constantly put you first, his time was obviously restricted due to tennis but you were always first!
then you got pregnant, and his attention zeroed on you and the twins even more. he sometimes went as far as missing practices just to make sure you arent alone for too long with two screaming toddlers.
he would be there for tantrums, late night diaper changes. sometimes if the kids were too fussy he would insist on letting them cry it out, "they need to learn when to stop crying," he said, but next thing he knew there was two tiny babies pressed inbetween you both in the bed.
he would be the more strict parent, but that was only because you were more of the "cool parent" for letting the boys get away with mischiefs!
things went good for like . . . 4 years.
during those years he was the best husband/father you could of asked for. in the bed he was amazing, gentle but firm. and regardless of his schedule he always made time for the babies, always going to teacher meetings, games, and bonding with them as much as he could.
but then he started slowly drifting? he put you and the kids more and more on the back burner, putting more attention to his career and less attention to you and the kids.
you didnt blame him, tennis was his whole life before you wormed your way into his heart. but it still hurt watching him pay less mind to the you. he stopped touching you, you both went months without cuddling once you realized you were initiating every single physical touch. but it hurt more with the kids. he stopped going to their games, your heart breaking when they asked, "where's daddy?" or, "he promised he would be here!" watching their tiny frowns broke your heart.
you would be lying if you said you didnt blame yourself for it. you spent nights wondering where it all went wrong. trying to figure out what happened, did he find another girl? did he get bored of you?
you tried to talk to him about it, and all he tells you is a "im just tired, dont worry baby." with a kiss on your forehead. he deflects, hard. you know he doesn't like opening up, but you thought that 10 years of being together meant he would be open with you.
you decided to finally divorce him when he missed the boys birthdays. all of your family and friends went, his friends even went, and him? gone. when he came late at night you crashed out on him, asking him with tears what did you do wrong, begging him be more of a dad and husband.
he did change, for a few weeks. but u still proceeded with the divorce when your mother told you AND your boys deserved better than that. the divorce was . . . complicated. he begged you alot to stay, to not 'break apart' the family. he did try to manipulate you a bit, but in the end he realized that he was hurting you and the boys. that doesn't stop him from trying to get you back.
and you know that eventually, if he keeps putting genuine effort you'll get back together with him. he needs to show you that he REALLY wants u, want the family back. and slowly but surely, it's working. he just prays you'll give a second chance to prove that you and the twins are his whole world.
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i took advantage of this ask to give a bit of backstory as to why they got divorced...oops! 😭
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cloudcountry · 7 months ago
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Hello, I wanted to ask if you could please write something with Eiland or reader confessing their feelings to the other? It could be intentional or accidental, completely up to you.
I would really appreciate it if you could, but I understand if you don’t have the time. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a lovely day and everyday forward! 💕
SUMMARY: you have a reason to stay in mistria now.
COMMENTS: OH OF COURSE I CAN WRITE THIS <333 I LOVE EILAND MWAH i wrote this in like forty minutes sobs im too tired to edit if you see a typo no you dont
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It’s your soft breathing and the way the back of your hand brushes against his that makes his stomach flip, his heart fluttering anxiously in his chest. Eiland isn’t sure how much longer he can hold on to the emotions swelling in his chest, begging and pleading to be set free as if they’ve been imprisoned inside his chest for the better part of two years.
In some way, Eiland supposes they had.
You just look so nice tonight, the most lovely thing you’re wearing being your smile, flashes of teeth as you laugh and the delicate curve of your lips catching his eye. Your laugh is like a siren call, and he finds himself recalling everything he knows about the Mermaid’s Comb in the museum to calm down. While it’s technically not related to sirens, it's the closest thing his scrambled mind can think of right now.
It does little to help when all that blasted comb does it make him think of you lovingly brushing his hair as the fireplace crackles in the background and he tells you about his latest archaeological discovery.
“Eiland?” you whisper, soft as the night breeze and the muted hollering from the Inn.
He makes a noise of acknowledgement, looking over at you. You’re looking at him too, eyes wide and bright, and his heart shudders when he sees the stars from above reflected in your pupils. He swallows, finding the courage in his heart to press the back of his hand right against yours. You gasp, soft and surprised, and Eiland feels so warm.
“There’s...I received an offer from the Capital.” you murmur, voice shaking as you try to maintain your composure, “They heard about my accomplishments in Mistria and wanted me to take on some higher level jobs for some nobles.”
Eiland's heart drops right out of his body, slamming into the cobblestones beneath his feet.
No.
He opens his mouth and you grab his hand, giving him a meaningful look. He shuts his lips tight, pulling them into a thin line, cheeks heating at the touch.
“It got me thinking about...where I want my life to go. I’m not getting any younger.” you admit, “And I don’t want my life to be at the Capital at all. They’ve been badgering me about new jobs and they keep raising the money I could earn but it’s...it’s not enticing.”
Eiland’s eyes are searching yours, unaware of what you’re trying to say, his brain processing your words over and over and over again, trying to find your meaning. Your thumb is stroking the back of his hand and it makes him shiver—if you asked, he could blame it on the wind, but he knows how desperate he is for you to be near him and how badly it affects him when you are.
“I wanted to tell you this first because...well, I’m not sure if you’d feel the same way or not...but I don’t want to leave here. I’m satisfied with what Mistria has given me. I came here for the land, but that land has become my home. And I want to share it with someone someday.”
Him reading to you by the fireplace. Having Adeline over for family dinners. Watering your crops in the morning before you get out of bed. Making you breakfast every morning. Cleaning the house while you’re gone. Having his own home library, a mixture of your tastes and his. You being an in-law to his aunt and sister.
“I was thinking...if I was going to stay here, and if I was going to share my life with someone...well, I...”
You hand feeding him sweets. You two sitting in rocking chairs on a rainy day. You calling him baby or honey or boyfriend or love or darling or husband. The two of you visiting the General Store to pick up groceries. The whole town knowing you’re together.
You swallow, as if preparing for something.
Eiland’s imagination is too far away from him now.
“I would want that person to be you.”
Eiland freezes, flushed cheeks burning and pretty lips parted. His eyes are wide, unbelieving, and with the way his heartbeat pounds in his ears he thinks he’s died and gone to heaven.
“What?” is the only thing he can muster, shaking fingers intertwining with yours, darting eyes searching yours like a man gone mad.
“In other words,” you tear your gaze away, flustered at the proximity, knowing anyone could walk outside of the Inn at any given moment and see you, holding hands with Eiland, nearly pressed against his chest, “I want to be with you.”
Eiland’s face brightens, his arms pulling you into him and you crash against his chest. His arms soften your fall, holding you up and he squeezes you close, nose pressed to your skin and hair tickling your face. You can feel his excited breaths against the warmth of your cheeks and you squirm, flustered and unused to the proximity.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just so happy.” he sounds like he’s about to cry, hands pressed to your back like you’re his salvation, “I’ve liked you for so long. I didn’t think you’d felt the same.”
“I do.” you confess, wiggling his hold just loose enough to free your hand, running your fingers through his hair, “You’re a treasure Eiland. I like you very much.”
Eiland pulls away and laughs, joyful and boyish, his grin infectious.
“To think, you would deny the Capital for me!” he places a hand over his heart, eyes crinkling in the corners as he gazes upon you adoringly, “My dear, I am smitten with you!”
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onskepa · 9 months ago
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Left Behind: Moments
Here is another chapter of the left behind series! Hope you all enjoy!
Left behind series
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Jake’s pov 
“So ummm…..I was told to vlog my day to day stuff. Guess to keep record of things I do and not lose my shit on this planet” Jake tells himself on camera. It has been a few hours since he woke up from his cryo sleep. His body ached, felt like a statue from not moving for 5 years. 
“This is year is 2154….those fuckers lied. It's been 7 years since I left Earth for this jungle gym crap. 7 years felt like nothing. My baby girl, probably in her preteen years right now. I wonder how she is doing. I wouldn't blame her if she hates me, no scratch that. She is incapable of hate. Maybe mad, yeah. But not hate. I want this mission to be done and over with.” 
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Jake’s pov
“First day in my avatar…gotta say, it felt fucking amazing. I was able to breathe the native air! Best part, I can run! WOOHOOO! YES! Oh man, never in my life have I felt this amazing. Though I did get carried away. When I woke up in my new body, the excitement got to me. I ran almost all over the fields, the basketball court, the botanical gardens, it felt great. Almost got in trouble but grace was there to save my ass” 
“Still have to adjust to this body, grace is giving me a week to get used to it. I am not the only one though, there is a weird guy named Normal Spellman. Nerdy but otherwise cool. He is the one who studies alongside with tommy. Good pals I can only imagine. He just got his avatar too”
“I bet if my baby girl was here, she would be surprised. With everything really. Maybe a bit scared. Would enjoy it no doubt. Learn how this planet works. I cant help it. I wonder what she is doing. Is she making friends? Doing good in school? So many things. But I know the sooner I get this mission done, the sooner I get home to her” 
“Gotta rest now, got a big day tomorrow, this is Jake Sully, singing out” 
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Jake’s pov 
“Colonel Quaritch, tough and kinda scary guy but he keeps people safe here. As safe as it can get on this planet. Met him in the brief meeting as a welcome home type of talk. But, weirdly enough, I admire him. He seems to know what he is doing and how to do it. Said he has a special mission for me, didn't say what yet but to expect a visit from him soon” 
“I can worry about that later. Tomorrow starts a new mission. Get samples from more remote areas of the forest. Norm was given a special task. Try to make a peaceful contact with the aliens here. Na’vi is what they are called. Grace gave me a brief on them. Some important figures too. Guess they have a system of rulers here. Like the old native tribes back on Earth. My missions is to guard and make sure grace and norm get what they need” 
“I will be honest, does not seem too bad. Was given the ok to shoot any possible threats. Practice with the guns, proud to say I have not lost my aim. It is getting late but I still have to do this. Does keep my mind busy, recalling the day’s events. I am starting to get into a routine” 
“After shutting off the camera, I look at the picture of me and my daughter. I would stare at it for a while until my eyes drop. See this? It was the day I won a little toy for her at an arcade. She was so happy. Not often was I able to give her something new. Hopefully the paychecks are getting funded for her needs. I bet she is getting nice, brand new things” 
“So many birthdays I missed. Im so sorry baby girl, but I promise, the second I go back, I will give you the biggest hug ever. Buy you all the gifts you could ever want, hell, if the pay is that good, get a better place. Maybe close to your favorite park that you like to play in. Better yet, go to the zoo like you always wanted. I know you will be much older but I dont care. You are my baby girl for life. Nothing is going to change that” 
“Guess now I better log off. Big day tomorrow, this is Jake Sully, signing off”
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Jake’s pov 
“Things didn't go right during the mission and I was split up from grace and norm. A giant weird animal, thana-something called by grace, deadly, found us. Had his eyes on me, grace told me to run so I went the opposite direction of where those to were, to not get them in the crossfire. Seriously, that animal was huge, but I guess by some miracle, a bigger animal came into view. Like in those old nature documentaries, the two giants began to fight. Either way, I made a run for cause I know it was not going to end pretty” 
“I got lost along the way, had no idea where I was or how far I was from the crew. Took me sweet time though. Admiring the pretty sights that Pandora had to offer. Felt like a kid again. Everything was bright, colorful, alive. I can see why the RDA wants to use the resources here. Crazy to think that Earth was one like this. Green, healthy, breathing” 
“Of course somewhere along the way I lost myself even more, lost my gun. Had to make a spear then turn it into  a torch because night came. Now night time felt like a whole different world. Everything glowed, pretty almost neon colors illuminated the plats. Some small creatures also glowed. Sad that I couldn't appreciate it enough. Got attacked” 
“Freaking hyena looking animals, running in a pack. The fire helped create a distance as I ran but they were too many, though I was done for. My ass got saved by an unlikely person” 
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Jake’s pov 
“Neytiri, princess of the Omatikaya clan. Scary lady but she saved me. Called me a baby, and told me that I have a strong heart. Stuff happened and next thing you know, I am in their home base. Word passed and neytiri was tasked to train me. Teach me their ways. I am where the RDA needs me to be. It is now only a matter of time. Give the Colonel what he wants, give grace what she wants. It is a win-win situation” 
“Still holding out on that little meeting Quaritch wants to have with me. Maybe it won't be that far, since now I am within the premise of the indigenous, I guess I need to collect more info” 
“A lot happened so to say. I gotta rest soon. If allowed, I can bring something from here, take it with me when I get back home. Pictures seem the best answer. Or something na’vi related. My little girl knows so little of what is being told about pandora. Or knew I should say. How old is she now….? Probably a preteen. Guess I dodged a bullet. I know pre-teen years are hell. No, I shouldn't say that” 
“Soon baby girl. The wait will be worth it. Like I promised. Training day begins tomorrow, so, with that, this is jake sully, signing out” 
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Jake’s pov 
“I am part of the people. I am the son of the people and child of Eywa. Passing my iknimaya, taming my ikran, everything. I am na’vi. It feels unreal, hard to accept. Tsu’tey and I are brothers, wasn't that long ago he wanted to kill me, calling me ugly, but now we are at the same level” 
“They celebrated my rebirth. It was fantastic, neytiri made me dance even though I was terrible at it. The whole thing felt magical. Truly, I felt like I really belonged somewhere, being accepted. It felt nice. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, it did get better” 
“Surprise surprise, I am now mated to neytiri. She took me to the tree of voices, telling me of how sacred and precious it is, being able to connect to their ancestors. It was beautiful. Neytiri was beautiful, still is. Taking my breath away, and my availability” 
“I wouldn't change it for anything, she is someone I have come to love with all my heart. As cheesy as it sounds, it's true. Neytiri changed me, made me better, and I have no regrets”
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Jake’s pov 
“They are starting to pressure us, more like me. The RDA really want the omatikaya gone, away from their home tree. Just because it houses the materials they want. It is not easy, none of it is easy. To tell them to leave, when it's been their home for thousands of years. According to Grace, I don't doubt her. This is their home, it is us who are the aliens” 
“They are not going to leave, nothing is going to change their minds. Worst yet, I know quaritch will do drastic things to get what he wants. I was an idiot to follow him, to believe him. What he will do, knowing his tactics, he will shed blood and bullets. I need to warn neytiri, mo’at, tsu’tey. Can't believe this is coming out of my mouth, but I pray to Eywa, that she guides me. What can I do to make sure things don't go downhill” 
“I came to make good money, to finish the mission given to me and be done with. Now, I am in a moral dilemma. I am stuck” 
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Jake’s pov
“I am sorry. No amount of sorry’s that I say will ever be enough for anyone. Not to neytiri, not to eytukan, not to mo’at, tsu’tey grace, norm, anyone. It will never be enough. I brought this to them, it is only right that I help. War is coming, and soon. So many na’vi died when they destroyed their home tree. Many wounded, kids, infants, innocent lives” 
“Grace and I did our best to warn them, tell them to leave. Tsu’tey was adamant to fight, their weapons useless against the valkyries. In an instant, all was gone. I wanted to apologize to neytiri, she was furious, telling me I am not one of those people. She is right. Before anything more could be done, those damn bastards forced me to pull out. Pushed me in a tight closure” 
“Quaritch, a beast he is, heartless. Keeping me locked up yet outside of my cage he dangles the picture of my little girl. Telling me it's not too late to take his side if I ever want to go back to earth and see her again. Going on about how she will react to all of this. Her father rebelling against humanity. As much as I hate to admit…”
“He is right….I dont know if I will see her again. I hate to say….sacrifices have got to be made. I'm sorry, but I have to atone my sins. Like I said, no amount of sorry’s will be enough. Not even for my little girl, I am sorry baby girl, but daddy is not coming home”
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Jake’s pov 
“We won. Quaritch is dead, and unfortunately, so is Grace and tsu’tey. Both sides lost many lives. Yet that is war, but we won. Humans are no more, many left, only few remained. Sworn their loyalty to the na’vi. Only they can stay. We made many sacrifices, I made many.  Many I dont regret, or will look back to. This is the beginning of a new chapter for me. There is nothing left to hold me back, not my past, not my memories.  I am at peace with what I did” 
“Neytiri is with a child, I am excited, I am going to be a father. I cant wait when they arrive, I will be there, welcoming my son or daughter into a new world of peace. First born, neytiri likes to say it over and over.  She is not wrong, our first child together in a new era of peace” 
“However there is still one thing left to do. A grand celebration is going to be held” 
“This I look forward to, many are coming together for it. It is my birthday after all, can't miss my own party. So, one last time. This is Jake Sully, the human, signing out. For good” 
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Third pov
A young girl looks at the last vlog of her father, Jake Sully, eyes wide as she takes in what she just saw. This was a side she never knew, nor did she think it would be hidden.  
She clenches her hands into a fist tightly, gritting her teeth, her body shaking in fury. Hot tears streaming down her face, not knowing whether to cry in sadness or scream in anger. So many emotions mixed, creating a tornado in her mind. 
Hearing a door open behind her, she turns to glare at the man. 
“Why….” was all she could say before breaking down.
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Aaaaaaaaaaand that is it for this chapter of the ongoing series! This one I chose to have only jake be the main point, his vlogs. See how his mind changes, perspective and what lead to the final choice. Trust me, this will come back for future chapters. So until next time! See ya!
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ainnur · 3 months ago
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we know you like celestialchaos (Wukong/Xiangliu) and divorced shadowpeach (where Macaque is the pathetic ex) but do you have any other LMK ships?
with or without Wukong, doesn’t matter
I DO!! Im a semi multishipper so I have few ships I like and some of them a pretty rare but I'll explain why I like them in simple way.
Start with my third favorite:
StableBoy (Ao Lie/Wukong)
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To me this ship just a cute one. It match my hc that Ao Lie being the first person Wukong ever open up to after all the shit he been through because Wukong loves horses lol. And Ao lie is one of the persons that see Wukong grow to be better. I can see it as first ever heathy relationship Wukong ever have. Also Ao Lie the first person he ever truly trusted always listening to what he says. Ao Lie is Wukong's light.
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OTHER SHIPS 👇🏼👇🏼
GoldenDragon (Mk/Mei)
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Best friend to lover trope. They is two people that would say "If we single when we 27, we just marry each other" and the keep their dynamic. Plus they always be their for each other and match each other energy. They know each other the best and I like that about them. And when I first watched lmk I actually think they were dating or something lol. Im just like the silver and gold brother demon 🥲 sue me. If anything GoldenDragon is not parelle with Shadowpeach but StableBoy.
FreeNoddle (Tang/Pigsy)
Old married couple for the win✨ I just like how they lovingly fight with each other but comfort each other when needed.
LionPeach (Azure/Wukong)
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This really giving love at first sight 😭I mean what is this. Look I like them because they cute. Azure admire Wukong and see him as great warrior, a bother, the King! Little bit too much its unhealthy. And Wukong have all his trust and having same gold as him and that is making the world a better place. But because his admiration, he blame Wukong for failing. For not achieving what he expect of Wukong to be. He also think what he doing is right. But even everything he never wanted to hurt anyone deep down and he made mistakes and redeemed himself with his life despite everything he loved his friends and they all loved him. Just look at Wukong when Azure die. And after everyting Wukong still care about him in a way.
Shadowpuppet (Not Mayor/Macaque)
Petty rival that somehow get together lol. I like them both being shitty to each other but cant leave each other side because they only have each other 🥲.
DestinyBone (Mayor/Lady Bone Demon)
One side love. Mayor do everything for LBD while her only focus on her destiny. Everything he do is for her but now she gone...he is nothing.
PuppetPeach (Wukong/Mayor)
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Toxic yuri- okay look I have this idea for them with Mayor try to find someone else to serve after LBD is gone. At first Mayor dont like Wukong because you know, Wukong is the one make him realize that LBD never actually need him. But when fighting with Wukong he remember something. The warm that Wukong left him. It also cold when come to lbd and that how he like it but this warm feel strange to him. After some stalking he see Wukong as the leader, as the protector, as the hero and most importantly as a KING. Someone who deserve to be serve. I made a fanfic once about them HERE
StringDoll (Spider Queen/Lady Bone Demon)
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✨Toxic Yuri for real ✨No explainition just them
IronBull (PIF/DBK)
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Vilain power couple ✨. They may be a shit parents to Red Son but damn they're THAT couple. They just good with each other. I like how dbk defend PIF by saying that PIF can handle herself because she is a strong women but still worry about her because THAT his wife, he have right to be worry. And PIF? She loyal for him. 500 years finding way to free her husband from mountain. *Ehem* Take note Macaque *Ehem*. PIF would rush to her husband always. Just like when Azure attack DBK and his family, PIF quickly rush and jump infront of her husband wanting to protect him. I was like damn, you go girl ✨They either be good parents or good couple. They made their decision lol.
GoldenFeather (Peng/Wukong)
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Okay I like this ship because my friend @starrclown make me ship theme with their cute fanfic. But I still have my own idea for them. I like them in 2 way
1)Peng having a casual crush on Wukong. Its never anything big. Peng just think Wukong is funny and chaotic. Peng love 'chaos' anyway and without it they think it be boring. Peng know that Wukong never actually like anyone and is fine by that. If Wukong like them back it be awasome but if Wukong dont Peng will be just find.
2) Peng have crush on Macaque😬. Hate crush but still crush. The thing is that Mac is a simp for Wukong and Peng just don't get it. He just don't get what so good about Wukong that got Macaque drolling like that. Peng being curious and also don't want seem as coward like Macaque ask Wukong for a "night" just to have the taste. Now he understand Macaque and wanting Wukong
Also Peng might be more important to Wukong consider he is one of first ink from Wukong scroll that show up and the first one to attack
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This is OC x Canon:
ToxicPeach (Steve/Wukong)
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Okay this is crack ship that me and my friend @halfdeadhalfpaniced made with random character we call Steve. But more time pass I kinda like the ship. Steve the wanna rockstar fall in love with the Monkey King himself. Wukong is questioning why he like that loser lol
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linaliteracy · 4 months ago
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Will it Pass? Pt. 2
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Pairing: Bangchan x afab!reader.
Summary: You love Chan, how could you not? He is your best friend. Your problem? You love him too much and cannot stand him near you or your heart will break.
college!au, angsty, friends to lovers.
Note: English is not my first language. Leave me suggestion or comments on the ask box! 🩷
Part 1 here!
Bangchan's POV
It has been two weeks since I last saw Y/n. Two weeks that I never thought... I would never have thought that I would have to go more than two weeks without talking to her. I felt guilty, lonely, scared and like an asshole.
When she confessed, the first thing I did was to break any thing I had with other people. It was just a girl, but I politely told her I didn't wanna see her more, she took it nice, she juat blocked me everywhere and said i had a bigger ego than any body part. That wasn't a new insult, but it was funny, regardless.
I sat in the apartment, laying on my bed just quiet. Until Felix opened the door and got to the apartment.
"I AM HOME!" He screamed. "Chan, you here?"
"Over here" I said and Felix appeared.
"Sulking?" He chuckled and sat on my bed "Cheer up!"
"Did you see her today?" I asked, it was a rutine, I had not seen her since... the café, we had not crossed paths, i assume it was because everytime I saw her, her friends were shielding her and walking very fast. I couldn't blame her.
When will it pass?
That was such an asshole comment, and I still cannot believe it came out from my mouth.
"I did, she was... better" Felix confessed. "Look, why dont you talk to her?"
I sighed in defeat
"She wouldnt want to talk to me"
"I mean... you were kind of a dick... so, yeah I wouldn't want to talk to you, but maybe... just give her time."
I nod and contemplate my life. I felt guilty, so fucking guilty that I didnt return her feelings. I couldn't do it, because I... am just not sure. I had never done that, the liking someone, always was something quick and off, but with her. She wasn't that, she was all.
I knew eventually she would have someone, find someone, but I never though how it affected her seeing me with hook ups, or knowing that I was hooking up, I mean, I wouldn't tolerate it. Why did she put up with it for so long?
"She was so... why didn't she ever told me to stop?"
"Stop what?" Felix inquiered.
"To stop hooking up.
Felix looked at him.
"She couldn't do that, she doesn't have the heart for that... she... look, im gonna say this to add drama, because I like it, and maybe it helps you wake up, but... she never complained. With the guys... we really admired her.
"The guys knew?"
"Everyone knew that you liked eachother! Wait- you know you like her, right? Is not like we need to open your eyes?
"I... i know... is just... I dont know what is like, like, to like someone... I have never... had those feelings..."
Felix sighs.
"Look... i would tell you to go tell her but... I don't know how she is... I mean I do, but... I don't know how it will make her feel..."
"Do you think I am bad for her?"
"Chris. What the hell? No!"
"Then what should I do?"
I felt conflicted I had never done this, never liked someone with so much that they felt... homy. I always knew I liked her but I never knew she liked me. Hell, how could I not like her? She is funny, kind, beautiful, she is all... why didnt I realize sooner?
But I had never done things right, and I was so fucking scared of trying and fucking it up, with her.
"I will give her time" I said outloud. "As much as she needs, but I want her to tell me how much time I have to wait"
I grabbed my phone and went directly to her dorms. I needed to sort this out.
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bahrtofane · 1 year ago
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promises under the stars - jude pov
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Jude never meant to replace you. But that's how it ended up isn't it. There's no one to blame but himself, no one behind each and every decision that now has him standing at the end of an aisle, waiting for his bride. A bride that isn't you. 
highly highly recommend reading this fic first. or else it kinda doesnt make a whole lot of sense on its own. then come back here. this is kinda like a part 2? kinda
shout out to this anon for this idea ! hope you like it
word count - 2.1K+
watch it - well angst, yet again. pregnancy talks the works. sorry if i used ur name for his wife xoxo. enjooyyy
p.s. - shout out to @anadiasmount for the inspo to create the image at the end ! go read all her stuff yall so good
—————-
He thinks the moment it all comes crumbling down is when he gets word of you getting mobbed. After you've just been to Madrid with him. And he can't do anything about it but send security and hope it doesn't get out of hand. 
He expects you to give up right then and there, curse him and wish for him to have nothing to do with your life again. But you don't. You can never bring yourself to blame him. To hate him.
Then comes your whole family suing him for something completely out of his control. Fresh after your father has threatened him, this is just what they need to come after him legally. 
It's okay because they don't win. Of course they don't. How stupid do you have to be to try and sue for going on vacation for someone you love. He wants to call you every step of the way. But his lawyer warns against it. So he doesn't. And you’re left in the dark.
Do you even know that they've tried to sue?
He can guess what you're thinking. He knows you too well. You think this is him taking an exit from his life. He doesn't want it to be this way. Maybe its for the best after all he finds himself thinking. Back to the thoughts of letting you go for your good as much as his. 
But like most things in life, things get muddy. 
He spends his time in a whirlwind of emotions, all leading back to you. He can not go more than an hour without you in his mind. 
Even if his texting habits dont show it, he wants to talk to you every second of every day. Do you remember when he would call you to complain about the mundane. When he stubbed his toe, or drank out of his mind, pressing his nose against the screen trying to feel you against him. 
Things have changed. He’s no longer the same youthful Jude with a penchant for recklessness. Taking day trips to see you, skirting around paparazzi and your families just to have a moment together.
He misses you, but he’s scared to reach out again. So he remains silent and an onlooker to your life. 
Funny isn't it. World class player with more money than he knows what to do with is scared to text you in fear of what your families will say or do. 
And yet, he can’t stay away for long can he. His resolve breaks on your birthday. Months and years have gone by. Legal cases are drawn out go figure. And he's been so busy with games every few days and events he can never say no too. When he gets home his bones ache, only finding the strength to clean himself up and go to bed. 
When he calls you he realizes maybe it's too late. That waiting for things to blow over have left a gap in your time together. He knows nothing but memories. Your life eludes him. He tries to go back truly, but seeing your story while you're out with friends, smiling- actually smiling. He thinks he better not intrude. 
His mother isn't helping one bit. She's come to the conclusion that the only way to move on and get your family off his back for good is to just move on. Find a “nice sensible girl” she says, smiling.  
Jude doesn't want to. It makes him sick. Kicking and screaming the whole way about it. It’s not a bad idea in theory. Pretend to date someone. Your family gets off his back his family of yours boom you can be happy together again. 
So he can learn who you are again. Find a way into your life. Do you still tilt your head when you're confused? He needs to get back to you. He can't let someone like you leave. He doesn’t just love you, he’s fascinated with the person you’ve grown into. 
The thought of you with anyone else makes him sick. He still loves you, and he makes himself believe that the same is true. 
If only right.
He meets Kaylie in the dead of winter. At a sponsorship event that he completely forgets about and shows up an hour late to. He looks around trying to find his agent but before he can even say his usual rounds of hellos he spots his mother standing with a blonde who clutches her necklace to her chest while she laughs.
This is the start of his own nightmare.
He comes back around when he knows he has to. After taking his sweet time talking to everyone. He tries to look for help to get out of the encounter but it's already too late. His mother is flagging him down. So he walks over, already sweating. 
His mother all but pushes them together. 
“What a couple you two are.” she beams, hands clasped together. 
He gives a tight lipped smile and tries to wiggle his way out the awkward slew of introductions Kaylie gives of herself. But his mother gives him a look, grabbing into his arm and making stand and listen. 
There's a look in his mothers eye, he knows what it means. This is the woman that's supposed to replace you. He feels sick. 
——-
Along the way he thinks that maybe this is what's best for him. For you. 
His family all love Kaylie. And she's sweet enough.
Nothing like you, dragging him into different clubs while you linked arms to get ice cream at the same time.
He finds it hard to keep up with her. Her life is fast paced, more so than his. Every time he calls she's in a different country it seems, catching flights and going to fancy resorts.
You never minded a quiet night in. Its what you loved, being able to exist with him. 
Most of all she doesnt know him. She knows Jude Bellingham. The player, the figure, the celebrity. She doesn't know that he has a bad habit of touching his ears when he's nervous, how his eyes go wide at praise and teasing. How without a hundred reminders and alarms he truly would be late for everything. You always helped getting him to things on time.
When you were both awkward pre teens struggling to make sense of the world, you’d stop by his house to make sure he wouldn’t miss the bus. Sitting next to him on the beaten leather seats, and spitting facts you learned the day before. 
He always listened. He still would today. 
He doesn't think Kaylie’s noticed anything about him. She spends most of their time together taking pictures and flaunting him around. He pretends it doesn't bother him. Is the peace even worth it at this point?
She doesn't know how much he loves making little daisy chains, how much he loved putting them in your hair when you were kids. You’d throw a fit, but he never missed the look in your eyes when his fingers would swoop down to settle them gently. 
Kaylie is beautiful. But she's not beautiful like you. She may have an expensive taste for clothes that allows her to put together a stunning outfit for any occasion, cleavage on display while she pouts her lips and bats her eyelashes for a kiss. Kisses he never gives her. He can't. Not when he knows you wait for him. 
Sure she's great by the average man's standards. But she's not lovely like you. You could be in a trash bag and he'd still think you're the most gorgeous person on the planet. 
He thinks this whole Kaylie thing will blow over, that he'll be able to get back to you. 
And he tells her this. 
He goes through the motions, just to shut everyone up. 
Sitting her down when his mother isn’t around, “I don't love you. I will never be okay. I'm only here to get my mom off my back.”
And she laughs, flicking her hair over her shoulder, “Okay Judey whatever you say,” bracelets clanking together.
The name makes him want to hurl. “Get out of my house.”
Kaylie has got it in her head that she's here to stay. They've gotten into screaming matches because she's gotten her hands on the spare key and spends her days lounging in his house while he's away. They're not even officially dating by any means. 
And he keeps finding her in his bed, in nothing but one of his shirts. Giggling and acting coy. He's losing his patience and losing it fast. 
“Why did you give her the key.” Jude storms into his mothers house. 
She's making tea, swirling a spoon in her mug,”she's your woman isn't she. She needs one.”
“No. She's not my woman and you know that. Everyone that.”
She set the spoon down in the sink, going over to where Jude stands.
“Jude. you need to focus on what's good for you. And she wasn't good. You should be lucky that they didn't win the case. I went and told them about Kaylie and how wonderful she is. Be thankful. “
He's losing his mind. He needs to talk to you. 
He gets the chance when he's back in his hometown. And he sees you. He doesn’t think he could ever miss you, not even in a crowd. A rush of people stop him from running right to you. So instead he texts you. For the first time in ages. 
Was nice seeing you.
He hopes you can read between the lines, that you still know him well enough to understand what he really means. 
I still see you. 
For Jude is a coward. 
——
You dont reply. He forces himself to go back to what hes been forced to know.
Kaylie is all over him, hands roaming his body. There are days when he gives in. Sharing a bed with her as a cruel demented way to find some sort of release from everything that goes on around him.  The look on her face after its all set and done makes him genuinely want to punch something. A look of arrogance, like she's won something. 
And to top it all off he's been called up for England. His life gets even busier, if possible. Trying to keep up with it all proves to be grueling.
But light comes in the form of you. In the form of a single text.
Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.
You're proud of him? You watched him? 
The words bring him to near sobs, the light of his phone illuminating his hotel room while hes getting changed into his pjs. It's completely dark, his personal preference. And hes so happy he would fly the damn plane himself to see you. 
Before he can even think of a reply Kaylie tells him she's pregnant. Barging into his room with a little white box in hand. He thinks is some sort of congratulations for the game. Tacky card, maybe a watch. 
When he opens it, his world comes to a halt. Its a single pregnancy test.
He wants to cry. He's too young to be having kids let alone with her. It makes no sense to him. He always used protection the handful of times they did sleep together. Each time he'd only cry in the shower trying to scrub off her smell and the feeling of her touch off of him. She's only a distraction he tells himself. Too late for those words now.
It feels so wrong, so so wrong. He was supposed to be waiting for you and here he is sleeping with another woman. Who's now pregnant. He wants to vomit. 
He's in too deep now. And he can't be a deadbeat dad. 
Thoughts of you get pushed back to his mind while he scrambles to deal with the consequences of his own actions. 
When they get back to Madrid, his mother doesnt let him off easy. Screaming at him till he thinks he's popped an eardrum. And yet there's a gleam in her eyes like she's happy it all worked out this way. Doting on Kaylie and rubbing her belly (that's not even close to showing yet), and calling herself grandma already. 
The next step is obvious. He has to marry her and make it work.
So he does. An impromptu wedding that happens so fast he doesn't even hear the congratulations from everyone. He doesn't know how to break it to you so instead he posts on instagram and tries to figure out what his life has become. 
Jude is nearing 25. He has a kid on the way. He's married. He hates his wife. He hate himself.  Can you ever forgive him?
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nerdyjaw · 5 days ago
Note
Could I request either yandere Mikitaka or Joesph with a sick darling?
Thank you so much
yandere joseph joestar /w a sick reader hcs
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content warnings (please read before continuing): isolation, illness, kissing while sick (dont do this!), dependency, yandere themes. mdni.
age in bio or you will be blocked.
this media is in no way being romanticized or normalized.
the actions in this media are a work of fiction and are not to be portrayed or mimicked in real life.
you are responsible for the media you consume. you have been warned.
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joseph’s a funny guy. there’s no denying that. but as soon as he hears you cough? not a smile to be seen.
he immediately pressing his hand to your forehead and cheeks, immediately sits you down, immediately fetches a thermometer— all before you can even blink.
once it’s confirmed you’re actually sick, you’re not allowed to lift a finger. he insists on doing everything for you. feeding you, bathing you, holding your water glass to your lips like you’re porcelain. he’s around you a little bit too much now, and it’s pretty suffocating— but he means no harm (kinda.)
need to go to the bathroom? he’s walking you there, standing outside the door until you’re finished. need to throw up? he’s already got a bucket.
he pretends to be playful— but he gets a sick rush from how dependent you are on him. how you need him. the more you rely on him, the deeper he sinks his claws in.
he starts to use your illness as an excuse to isolate you. “i told the girls you’re too sick for visitors,” he says casually, phone already tucked away. “they’d just stress you out anyway. you’ve got me.”
keeps track of all your symptoms, your temperature, your sleep patterns. not just out of concern— he needs to know. needs to feel in control. if something worsens, he spirals fast.
probably starts blaming everyone and their mother for getting you sick. “probably someone on that bus you always take. i told you to let me drive you.”
“probably one of your friends. you hang around them too much.”
it’s all strategy— you don’t want to be this sick again, do you? okay.. so stop taking that bus. stop inviting your friends over so much.
he does not give a shit about personal space. no— he invades it. he’s kissing you like you’re not coughing up a storm, hugging you like you’re not highly contagious. he doesn’t care, though. anything you have, he doesn’t mind having it too.
if you try to push him away or argue that you’re “fine”, he’ll guilt trip you, big time. “really? you’re pushing me away when I’m trying to take care of you? after everything i’ve done?”
when you finally get better? he gets clingier. starts getting “worried” about a relapse. tells you to stay in bed one more day. then another. then another. you get the point.
if you’re chronically ill? its alot easier for him. you’re even more dependent on him. he can drag out all these extra precautions for longer!
no friends over. no taking the bus— hell, no leaving your house at all. period.
if you have a sickness that can lead to death? oh my. he still loves the dependency — but now he’s actively making sure you’re recovering. you’re not dying on him, no way.
what a rollercoaster.
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juyeonszn · 1 year ago
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PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (PT. 2)
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PAIRING kevin moon x f!reader
WORD COUNT 5.60k
GENRES angst ﹒little bit of fluff ﹒little bit of smut
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, reader is better than me cause i would not let kevin do all the shit he’s done 😭, ANYWAY i digress, this part is very reader-centric — whereas part one is very kevin-centric, inner turmoil goes absolutely crazy, most of this fic is reader putting kevin in his place and him realizing how big of an asshole he truly is, mentions of injury (past tense), mentions of insecurity, lots of arguing, reader cries at one point or another, the smut places a very minimal role in this, but unprotected sex, public sex (the auditorium dressing room), no foreplay but wtv we fall like soldiers in battle, pussy job lowkey (high key…), creampie, lmk if i missed anything!
SUMMARY it wasn’t like you and kevin hated each other. in fact, you quite admired him despite his somewhat indifferent attitude toward you. well, now that you’re paired up for the last dance of the year, you guess it’s the perfect time to find out why.
MORE oh my god. it’s finally fucking here. A MONTH, 2 SICKNESSES AND MANY MANY STRESSFUL NIGHTS LATER— part two of princess and the pauper is here!!! i’m so sorry to those of u who have been itching and waiting on me to get ‘er done,,, it’s been an ordeal to say the least, and while it’s nearing the two month mark since the black out or back out collab was announced, SHE FINALLY FINISHED!!! for once i saw something through omg i can sleep peacefully and work on my other wips without guilt now… 😭 ALSO THANK U SO MUCH MAYA @/kimsohn FOR PUSHING ME THROUGH THIS and for making me thug it out bc without u it definitely would’ve taken much longer to finish 💔 please dont forget to read part one and the other fics in the series if u haven’t!! both are linked below! and as always, pls reblog if u enjoyed &lt;3
PART ONE | SERIES MASTERLIST
PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel @ericlvr @sunwooverse @kimsohn
TAGLIST @millksea @deobibbang @deobi0412
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Never in your life have you felt so… Confused.
It wasn’t just confusion that settled deep in the pit of your stomach. There was a sharp pain there too, like someone stabbed you and twisted the knife. That was probably the best way to describe what you were feeling. You were bleeding out, and no one was coming to save you.
Kevin wasn’t answering your calls. He wasn’t answering your texts. He ran out of the lecture hall as soon as class was over, never giving you a moment to speak to him. It was making you nervous.
You still had half of a dance to choreograph and a fuck ton of pressure riding on your back. After the last performance you and him did together, you’d have a lot of eyes on you. It most definitely wasn’t your fault that he dropped you. How many people willingly want to acquire a broken ankle? The crutches were a bitch to maneuver around with. But like every single thing that’s happened in the three years you’ve known Kevin Moon, he’s managed to place the blame on you like it was.
It was crucial that you make amends with him even if it was momentarily. Your final grades were dependent on your performance. If he couldn’t get his shit together for at least that, he was a lost cause in your mind. Not even your professor would be able to refute that fact. Actually, nobody would be able to refute that fact.
Your lips form an O as you blow the steam away from your coffee, pulling out your phone to try Kevin’s phone once again. The line rings a few times before going straight to voicemail like it has the past couple weeks. You kiss your teeth, tying your sweater around your waist as you slump in your chair. The baristas at the campus cafe were probably sick of seeing you sitting in the same high-top counter spot since the incident with Kevin in the studio.
“Y/N?”
Ji Changmin appears beside you and you click your phone off, so he wouldn’t see his friend’s contact on the screen. You give the Early Childhood Dev major a weak smile.
“Changmin! What’s up? How are you and your girlfriend?” You hope he can’t recognize the distress written all over your features. You highly doubt it, though. You can feel the wrinkles pulling at your skin.
“We’re good! How’s the showcase performance going with Kev?” He asks like he knows something you don’t. When your lips fall to a thin line, an all too familiar grimace, he sighs a knowing sigh. “Do I have to smack some sense into him?”
“Not gonna lie, yeah, you do. He’s being really fucking difficult and like half of our dance is unfinished. I can’t even get a hold of him, so I’m starting to lose my patience.” You express your annoyance. The border between complacency and free-will was a lot slimmer than one might think. For example; your feelings when it comes to Kevin Moon.
You don’t expect to get a returning call later that night when you’re washing dishes after dinner.
In fact, you don’t even hear it at first, too absorbed in scrubbing the staining out of your bowl. It’s when your roommate yells out to you, that you snap out of your reverie, albeit dazedly. You dry your hands on a nearby tea towel, hitting the green answer button without a second glance at the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Are you free tomorrow?”
Your heart catches in your throat. You recognize the owner of the voice practically by the first breath into the receiver alone. It’s actually kind of unhealthy how quickly it took to realize who was on the other end. You swallow heavily, praying he doesn’t hear the gulp.
“In the latter part of the afternoon, I believe. Why?” You try not to sound hopeful. That’s one thing you’ve learned being in the same vicinity as Kevin Moon. You could never be too expecting, because it would only lead to disappointment. And you’d dealt with enough of that the past few years.
“We need to finish this fuck ass choreography,” he grunts, and it takes everything in you to bite your tongue. “I’ll meet you in the same studio at 4.”
He doesn’t let you get anything else in, hanging up swiftly. You deflate as you set your phone back on the counter. All you had to do was push through these next couple weeks, like you always have when it came to him.
That should be a piece of cake, right?
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Wrong.
“No, that looks stupid.”
You grit your teeth, swiping the back of your hand on your forehead. You’d been inside of this studio maybe 30 minutes tops, and you were on the verge of strangling Kevin. With as long as you’d been putting up with his shit, you thought getting through this wouldn’t be as rough as it’s been. But if there was one thing Kevin Moon had, it was pride.
“We don’t have time for you to nitpick right now. Let’s just finish the choreography and clean it after.” Your hands rest on your hips, nostrils flaring.
“If we clean as we go, we’ll have more time to drill it into our systems and get down muscle memory. It’ll be a stronger performance.” He argues. You roll your eyes as you turn away from him, taking a water break to calm yourself. “Why do you have so much fucking attitude today? You were the one preaching to the choir about me making things difficult. It seems the tables have turned.”
Usually, you were pretty good at keeping your frustration at bay when it came to Kevin’s remarks. You liked to think it was because you were down bad for the guy, despite him always wanting nothing to do with you. But as of late, (Read: Since your performance of Princess and the Pauper) every little comment he’s made has managed to crawl under your skin like a damn parasite. You were beginning to get real sick of it.
“God, you’re so—“ You interrupt yourself to groan, fingers curling into fists. “You’re fucking insufferable. Do you know that? I’ve been bending over backwards to ensure we aren’t kicked out of the goddamn program and you don’t even fucking care. Over what? A kiss that you initiated?”
Kevin is stunned into silence, not at all prepared for you to blow up on him like that. After all, that razor thin line between complacency and free-will had yet to be crossed. And well, it appears that you just crossed it. You whip around toward him, pulling down the collar of your t-shirt to reveal the faintest of bruises that still remains from your impromptu act of intimacy.
“I’ve had to look at this every day for a week and all it’s done is make me feel shitty, ashamed of something I didn’t even start. Now I need you to stop acting like an ass and get it together so we can finish this and perform the best dance this university has ever seen.” Your chest is heaving up and down, similarly to when you made out against the mirrors last week. Except this time isn’t out of breathlessness, but rather anger and exhaustion.
Kevin’s eyes don’t leave the hickey on the base of your throat, something undetectable swimming in them as he stares. You can’t read the emotions swirling rampantly in his irises, a mixture of too many blurring into one another. Honestly, it’s funny. It’s funny that it’s taken you this long to get him to shut his mouth for once.
So you laugh.
It’s a snort at first, an off handed projection of how comical the situation has become to you. But then it metamorphoses into a small giggle, which leads to full scale laughter that has you hunching over your knees and wiping away tears. This whole thing is stupid. Absolutely fucking stupid.
“What are you laughing at?” His eyebrow raises in question, broken from his weird trance.
“I just can’t believe it took three years for me to shut you up,” you shake your head slowly, rubbing your eye with the heel of your palm. “You’re always the one who can’t stop talking.”
Kevin deadpans, mouth pulled pin-straight as his expression drops. “You’re so unserious.”
As the height of your laughter reaches a valley, you collapse onto the ground, resting your back against the mirror. You take another long sip of water before sighing. “Look, I know this isn’t ideal. Trust me, I know. But, we’ve gotta set aside our differences just this once. Please, for the sake of the department.”
“Fine,” he murmurs, plopping down beside you to stretch his back. “Let’s finish choreographing so we can start cleaning it up.”
It’s a victory in your book, and probably the most obedient the Pisces has ever been. Maybe this wouldn’t end in complete disaster like you assumed it would. It turns out Kevin Moon wasn’t entirely brainless and knew when he was wrong. Sometimes. Maybe. We’ll see.
You shut your eyes and visualize what you’ve choreographed so far, going over the moves in your head to see if the rest will come to you like a prophecy. It’s wishful thinking, but with how much you’ve accomplished since setting foot in the studio, you’re willing to try anything. The track would be nice for elements of hip hop style choreography, but you knew the audience wouldn’t eat it up as much as they would the route you’re currently taking.
Driver roll up the partition, please…
The song plays through the speakers and you watch as Kevin stands to run through everything you have. You’re entranced by his movements, the flow of his body on certain points. It’ll look ten times better once you’re doing it with him, costumed and performing it perfectly in front of a crowd. You can picture it now, the gentle but controlled glide of his hands along your arms when Beyoncé sings “We ain’t even gonna make it to this club”. He was right. You very well might be seduced by your enemy.
“Should we use props?” You suddenly voice, eyes narrowed in thought. He hums.
“That’s… not a half-bad idea, actually,” his tongue darts out to wet his lips. “What did you have in mind?”
“A chair, maybe,” you look away from him, placing your focus on the way your toes alternate between a tendu and relaxed position. “That could take up a good chunk of the choreo.”
Kevin stalks over to the supply closet in the corner of the studio, pulling out a folding chair. He puts it in the center of the room gently, careful to not scratch up the wooden, lacquered flooring. You spend the next couple of hours brainstorming through numerous versions of the dance. While it was a lot easier than your past practices, there were still the occasional argument over which movements looked good and whatnot.
At a certain point, everything becomes cohesive and the end is near. You gulp down some water as Kevin does some random choreography. It’s then that it comes to you, like a vision from That’s So Raven. You practically drop your water bottle, scrambling to your feet and stopping him. Your breath is heavy from fatigue and you’re slightly afraid of even suggesting this, but it’s exactly what this dance needs. It’s exactly what everyone wants to see from the two of you.
He pauses the music and gestures for you to get on with it. You push down the lump in your throat, scared of rejection. But maybe he was smart and he would agree that this is what you have to do. “What if we did a lift?”
You see the hesitation swirling in his eyes and you raise a finger before he can shut you down entirely. “Nothing crazy like… um— you know— Princess and the Pauper, but something smaller. Something… sexy? Like, Dancing with the Stars type beat.”
When he shrugs instead of outright dismissing your idea, you know you’ve won. He nods slowly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Okay, sure. But we better clean up everything else fast so we can perfect the lift.”
The two of you take another three hours running the entirety of the choreography, ingraining the moves into your brains and muscles. You still had a bit until the actual showcase, but your priority now lies with the lift. If you nailed it, the entire department would very well grovel after you in reparation for all of the slack you got after Kevin dropped you. Hell, the entire university would kiss your feet. This was your redemption. In more ways than one.
You both decide to call it a day at around 9:30 PM. Your hands reach for your belongings and then you halt yourself, a thought coming to mind. While you had him in this weird state of obedience, you figured it was as good a time as any to ask the question that’s been weighing on you for the past few years. Your fingers swipe away the sweat beading around your hairline.
”Kevin,” you start, voice a lot softer than before. “Why do you— what did I do to make you dislike me so much?”
He’s caught completely off guard, eyes widening in surprise. If he was anticipating you to say anything else prior to parting ways tonight, he didn’t think this would be it. He’s actually a little off put that you hadn’t asked him this already in the span of your definitely-one-sided rivalry. He takes a large gulp of water.
”I’d call it indifference, not dislike,” he corrects after a pregnant silence. “It’s really fucking stupid thinking about it in hindsight. I don’t know if you remember this time, way back in our first year, we ran into each other at the campus cafe— literally, might I add— and you spilled your coffee all over this white shirt of mine that Changmin had gotten for me as a birthday gift. I only recently found out that it wasn’t as expensive as he made it out to be.”
You blink at his admission, processing his words as thoroughly as possible. You don’t know what you wanted him to say. You weren’t even sure if there was a concrete reason for him to be so fucking mean to you all this time. And now that you know, you come to the conclusion that Kevin Moon isn’t as smart as you’ve painted him out to be in your head. He’s actually a gigantic idiot. Because who in their right mind goes through these lengths to form a distance between the only other person on par with their talent?
Before you can stop yourself, you’re bursting into another fit of laughter. Kevin falters at your reaction. He was waiting for you to blow up on him, to scream in his face for causing you so much pain and unnecessary drama over something so silly. So when you do none of that, when you start fucking laughing like a damn hyena, he feels dumb. Like his entire college career has been built off of nothing.
”This is so—“ you pause to gather your bearings, wiping away the tears that managed to escape. “We’ve spent so much time going back and forth over some spilled coffee? Surely you’ve realized how insane that is at some point.”
”It took a lengthy argument with Changmin, but yeah, I did,” he nods, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”
You worry your lower lip between your teeth, finally getting your things together. The two of you bid each other an awkward goodbye. Neither of you knew what to make of your relationship now that things had been partially sorted through. There was a fuck ton of baggage that still had to be sifted, but at least you had an answer.
That was enough to push through this showcase performance. You think.
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You’re nervous.
Never in your entire life have you ever been this nervous for a performance.
You grew up doing musical theatre and dancing, it’s always been the one constant presence you could rely on. But standing here, backstage at the showcase, you think you’re going to throw up. Your palms are clamming up uncontrollably and your chest feels unbearably heavy as you watch the quartet doing a contemporary piece to some ballad you couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of. There were still a couple groups before you.
Not even when you had to perform fuckass Princess and the Pauper were you this anxious. You wince, trying to stop the incessant bouncing of your leg. Your weight keeps shifting from one hip to the other. As a seasoned veteran, you don’t know why you feel this way. Maybe it had to do with all the pressure riding on this very dance. Every single eye in that crowd was going to scrutinize your every move on that stage.
“Calm down,” a voice whispers harshly from beside you. “You’re making me nervous.”
Kevin wraps his fingers around your wrist, stopping the annoying tap-tap-tap your own were doing against your thigh. He gives you a look, and you sigh. “Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
That’s a lie. Not only was the high expectations from the entire school getting to you, but so was the fear of history repeating itself. He knows this, it was inevitable. After what happened the last time he was tasked with lifting you, it was only natural.
”We’ve drilled this dance hundreds, if not thousands, of times, Y/N. We’ll do just fine.” Kevin assures you.
His hand feels foreign holding yours, like it was illegal for his skin to be touching your own. You feel your lower lip quiver, a sense of trepidation that you’ve never once felt creeping down your spine. Your mind was spiraling, and quite honestly, Kevin being so close was making it worse. All you could think about was him dropping you again, leaving you in the middle of the stage with a broken leg and a broken heart. You release a shaky breath and he turns to face you.
Your eyes widen and he searches your face for any disingenuity. When he finds his answer, he brings the hand that was holding yours up to cup your cheek. He’s cautious, afraid he might break you like he always does. He waits for you to shove him away and to yell at him for being a fucking coward.
You don’t. You stay still, hoping he follows through with what you think he’s about to do. And then he does.
It’s such a featherlight peck of his lips on your own, you almost don’t even register. But sparks shoot from the source all the way to the tips of your fingers. You feel as if you were dealt a static shock of electricity, your whole body buzzing from the small kiss alone.
He pulls away just in time for the stage manager to inform you that you’re next. Kevin rolls his neck jogging over to the wings to patiently await your performance like he hadn’t just kissed you a moment ago. You blink dumbly, two fingers coming up to touch where his lips had been. Sure the nerves were gone now, but the sensation of butterflies swarming about in your stomach easily replaced that. What the fuck was his problem?
“Our last performance is one I’m sure all of you have been waiting for. Kevin Moon and Y/N L/N with Partition!”
Before you know it, you and Kevin are in position, your body squared upstage and his to the crowd. Your eyes are closed, but you can feel his arm wrapped around your waist and his steady breathing on your nose. The spotlight switches on, the heat of the lighting warm against the side of your face. It’s silent in the auditorium, but it rings in your ears. You could do this.
Let me hear you say ‘Hey Miss Carter’…
You move on reflex, muscle memory kicking in instantaneously. Each circle of your hips, every turn you make— a fouetté here, a pirouette there, a couple coupes, each roll of your body. But what really gets you is the long brushes of Kevin’s skin on your own. You’d practiced with distance between the two of you. There was a tension that had been there for years. Now it’s all coming to a rolling boil, a new uncharted tension that every single member in that audience could see.
And then comes the lift.
You, along with everybody in the auditorium, practically hold your breath when Kevin’s hands grip your hips. He raises you above him with all of his strength, completely focused on you and only you. You shut your eyes and feel the moment, like, really feel it. Your body is relaxed, the Dirty Dancing-esque lift bringing the whole performance together just like you knew it would. The only difference from the movie and real life is the fact that you’re flipped, your backside to Kevin and your chest to the ceiling.
Your eyes flutter open, the spotlight all but blinding you, and you finally feel content. Like everything has fallen into the right place for once in your life. Especially so when Kevin sets you down gently and you finish your dance with the utmost confidence.
The crowd erupts into a roaring chorus of applause, going as far as giving you a standing ovation. Holy shit. You pulled it off. You actually managed to pull it off.
Your face feels like it might split from how big your smile is. You and Kevin bow, walking off stage. You’re entirely too happy right now, a newfound energy overtaking you as you trail behind him.
“We did it!” You cheer as you follow him towards the dressing room where your things are. You’re the only ones left backstage, everyone else filtering out between performances. Kevin doesn’t give you much of a response, just a small nod of acknowledgment. Your smile falters. “What the hell is your problem?”
”Nothing, Y/N, fuck. Can you just mind your own fucking business?” He snaps, turning around to glare at you just as the door slams behind you. You instinctively flinch at both loud noises. His features soften but you take a step back from him.
You aren’t sure why you’re surprised. This isn’t anything new. Kevin has always made it crystal clear that he wasn’t your number one fan. Being neutral for your performance wasn’t enough to repair all the holes in whatever your relationship was, and you should’ve known better. You shouldn’t have let your guard down so easily. You should’ve expected this. Old dogs can never learn new tricks.
But Kevin’s scared. He’s afraid of letting you in after all the mess he’s put you through. The only thing he’s good at doing is hurting you, over and over like there was a prize that came out of it.
”Look…”
”No, you listen to me,” you swallow heavily, tears already tight lining your eyes. “Kevin, I have taken so much shit from you. Over these past few years I have just sat there and let you unload all your fucked up insecurities onto me. Have you ever wondered why? Have you ever thought to stop and think about why I let you be so mean to me without even questioning it?”
He says nothing, just stares with his lips parted. They open and close like a fish out of water, words there at the tip of his tongue but refusing to make their escape. And then one of your tears rolls down your cheeks and he’s directly in front you, his heart on his sleeve for the first time since you’ve met him.
”Why?” The simple question is so quiet, you almost don’t hear him. But his eyes hold so much hurt, so much anguish that you’ve never seen in a person before.
“I’ve had feelings for you for so long, it’s actually starting to ache. You’ve only ever seen me as this thing, this obstacle. And I’m afraid that that’s all I’ll ever be to you, because you won’t let me be anything else. You won’t—“
”That’s not true, Y/N,” Kevin sighs, looking off to the side, away from you. “I just— it’s complicated. It’s more than just being rivals.”
”So help me understand,” you frown. “Let me in, please.”
”My entire life I’ve had to work to get to where I am. I’ve fought tooth and nail to be as good of a performer as I am today. There were so many hoops I had to go through to even get into this program and— and I thought I’d finally become the best I could be. I thought that there was no way anyone could ever be better than me. And then you showed up. You and your pretty smile and your natural ability to be the best at everything you do. It was like you were the real life manifestation of all of my critics, of every challenge I faced to get here. Where I had to practice day and night to perfect something, it just came to you like second nature. During Princess and the Pauper, when I dropped you, it truly was an accident. But we’d spent so much time nailing it, that it— I just made myself feel better by saying it was your fault. ‘How could it have been my fault if I perfected it?’ I was jealous and petty and it was just easier to blame hating— to blame my indifference on you spilling coffee on my stupid shirt. For that, I’m sorry.”
You don’t know what you were waiting to hear, but it wasn’t that. Your tears turn into full on blubbering, because what the fuck? That’s so much burden for someone to carry on their shoulders for three years.
“Why are you— why are you crying?” He flounders, reaching up to swipe away your tears.
“I wish I knew… I wish I could’ve helped you somehow,” you sniffle. “Kev, I’ve always admired you and your work ethic. I hoped one day I’d be half as disciplined as you, half as determined.”
He blinks. You’re both dumb, aren’t you? Too focused on the wrong things. You both could’ve been a lot less hateful, a lot less miserable, had you just spoken your differences out. This entire rivalry has been completely one sided, but also built off of plain stupidity and ignorance. He supposes it’s not too late to make amends if you aren’t running in the opposite direction despite everything he’s put you through.
Kevin leans forward, hand still pressed to your cheek, and connects your lips softly. He’s testing the waters, making sure you’re comfortable before he continues anything. When you don’t back away just yet, he adds more force, deepening the kiss like a man starved. You whine against his lips.
This is what you’ve been wanting from him. More than what he gave you before your performance, but not what happened in the studio a few weeks ago. This desperation isn’t abashed lust, it’s unbridled affection— it’s everything he’s holed inside of himself for years, unwilling to let it see the light of day until now. If you were to label anything as perfection, it wouldn’t be a dance or a moment on stage, it would be this. Just you and Kevin finally bringing yourselves together in the most intimately emotional union.
He pulls you closer to him, hands sliding down to grasp at your waist, bunching up the thin fabric of your leotard. You can’t help but bury your fingers in his hair, tugging when he nips at your lower lip. A gasp permeates the air when his mouth travels south, along your jaw and down the side of your neck. He bites and sucks the tender skin at the base of your throat, ensuring he leaves his mark on you. This time isn’t careless, this time he has purpose. He wants everybody to know that you’re his, that you’re the only person insane enough to put up with him.
Your breathing is shaky when you reach behind you to lock the dressing room, dragging him over to the long vanity adjacent to you. He slots between your legs when you hoist yourself onto the surface. He pecks your lips and pauses his movements, rubbing up and down your thighs. In the dim, yellow lighting of the room, you look so gorgeous. He’s always thought you were beautiful, the most stunning thing he’s ever laid his eyes on, but he’s repressed it for so long. He wants to take his time staring at what he’s avoided.
”You’re so pretty,” he says quietly, kissing you again and again and again. “I don’t think I can last long with you.”
“Can we skip the foreplay?” You ask, bottom lip jutted into a pout. “Need you to just fuck me like you mean it.”
Kevin’s forehead falls to your shoulder with a groan. “I don’t deserve you,” God, he’s such an idiot for holding out from this. You should’ve been given the world and so much more. He has a lot of lost time to make up for. He kisses your shoulder with a sigh. “Yeah, baby, I can do that.”
You don’t waste another second, slipping your arms through the sleeves of your leotard. He has to bite down on his tongue when he sees that you’re braless, fingers going slack as they unbutton the rest of his silk shirt. You shimmy out of the one piece, left in nothing but the fishnet stockings you wore underneath and your lacy panties. Kevin thinks he must’ve done at least something right in a past life to experience this.
Your eyes sparkle as you look up at him, undoing his slacks and kicking them down his legs with your feet. Something takes over him when he rips a bigger hole in your stockings, pushing your underwear to the side. His thumb glides through your folds with ease, your slick providing enough lubricant. He pushes your lower lips apart while you busy yourself shoving his underwear to his ankles.
His cock slips inside of you with less friction than he would’ve thought, but he doesn’t complain, screwing his eyes shut as he acclimates to the feeling of your walls surrounding him. You moan, such a soft sound that he nearly loses his balance.
“You feel so good, baby,” he coos, digging his fingers into your hips as he rocks his own. “You’re so so perfect.”
The praise is too much for you, given the circumstances. Your brain is already cloudy, stuffed with what could only be described as cotton. You watch with half lidded eyes as he begins to piston into you at a faster speed. This all feels like a fever dream, something that was only possible in your craziest fantasies. Even then, it seemed unlikely.
“‘M close, Kev,” you whine, unable to stay still and attempting to match his thrusts.
“Already? We’ve only just started, gorgeous.” He laughs, but it’s breathy, strained from the exertion of his body. You hardly have the strength in you to be embarrassed about it, especially since he’s seen you in much worse situations.
You nod frantically, snaking a hand between you to circle your clit with nimble fingers. Kevin halts you and pulls out momentarily, sliding his cock between your folds like it was your hand. The tip catches your sensitive bundle of nerves repeatedly, making you dizzier than you already were.
He presses back into you with ease, resuming his sloppy but animalistic pace. He uses his thumb to continue your handywork, your cunt fluttering around him needily. You’re both losing your sanity quickly, both going batshit insane over the bare minimum. You’ve just needed this for so long, yearned for this moment for a humiliating amount of time.
Your moans start to rise in pitch and he groans. “Fuck, baby, you can cum for me.”
He could cry, he thinks, when your back arches and your legs shake with your orgasm. It hits you like a freight train, triggering his own release just as fast.
You stay like that for a bit, regaining yourselves and comprehending everything that’s just happened. So much for the whole hating each other narrative.
“What does this mean for us?” You suddenly ask, arms hooked around Kevin’s neck. You’re still connected by your lower halves, but he makes no effort to pull away. Part of you likes it that way, it gives you hope that this isn’t a one time affair.
“It’ll be hard for things to change overnight,” he says, massaging your sides. “We have a lot of unresolved issues and insecurities that we still have to push past. But I’m willing to do that with you. I want to take a chance on us.”
Your lips pull into a smile, an expression you don’t think you’ve worn around him genuinely in the years you’ve known him. “I do, too.”
“It’s kind of ironic that it was a performance that tore us apart and brought us back together, don’t you think?” He laughs.
“And we fucked in the dressing room…” You add, glancing to the top corner where a security camera is stationed.
“Maybe we should get out of here before someone checks the footage,” he suggests. “Tau Beta Zeta is conveniently hosting our end of semester party tonight, do you wanna be my plus one?”
“I would be honored.” You grin, pecking his lips tenderly.
Perhaps happy endings existed after all.
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© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
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rnn11203 · 7 months ago
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How much do you think Demetrius/robin tried with Sebastian? I kinda see all the parents of stardew to be well meaning in a sense that i think they do truly love their children but they get swept up and do wrong due to their circumstances, resentment, and insecurity.
I think Pam loves Penny, but her addiction, raising penny on her own, losing her job… yk? All that pain turned into more pain, i think Pam knows penny has done far too much for her, but is too ashamed to fully realize it, so to cope she internalizes it and blames penny all over. Obsesses over her own sacrifices and her own pain and ends up neglecting her.
I think Jodi loves Sam and Vincent, but she also feels resentful, lamenting about a life not lived, she married young and now worries about a husband who is different from when he left. She’s afraid that Sam’s turned lazy, but also didnt want to repeat the wasted youth she missed out on too, she bottles her emotions and it creates anxiety for Sam specifically. Kent too, its interesting that Sam feels indifferent to his fathers return isnt it? All that lost time, strangers now, Sam had grown fine without him and perhaps this creates guilt for both of them.
I think Pierre and Caroline love Abigail, honestly, i dont think the “rumors” bother Pierre THAT much, i think sometimes he feels it, maybe after a particularly rough fight with either of his family members but i think he truly loves her, he’s her dad after all no matter who her father is. Caroline too, i think it’s just this unspoken thing for them, let the town gossip, they love their daughter. I dont think they understand her very well tho, and yk, she doesnt think they do either. Its one of those things where the more you try to understand, the less you hear. Abigails relationship with her parents reads more cliche teenager to me though, i headcanon that their relationships settle as she ages. I think Abigail would move out of the valley and travel frequently but i think shed make trips back to her family often. Mostly for holidays. I think Caroline specifically would still feel anxious and wish she didnt travel as much, but i think her and Pierre’s relationship gets better in the future too. (It’s funny, Pierre is one of the least popular characters but i actually really like him).
Which brings me to Sebastian, Robin, and Demetrius. Again with an unpopular opinion, when i first played, i really liked Demetrius. Although i did feel that robins side of the arguements were more “correct”.
I headcanon Sebastian’s age to be around 22-23~ while Maru’s is 18-19~. I also headcanon that Sebastians father simply just left while Seb was around 3~. Im curious to how others think him and robin met, im unsure if its ever mentioned in game but honestly i think they met due to work. Demetrius has stated that he studies the local flora and fauna and Robin is a carpenter, i imagine she has a lot of knowledge about pelican towns native plants and animals. I think they were smitten, i can see robin liking Demetrius more nerdy/dorky behavior and robins stern, playful, spitfire personality has captured the hearts of many players after all.
Sebastian comes off as a Velcro kid to me, i think he’d be a huge mamas boy and feel almost threatened by Demetrius. I think robin and Demetrius would marry quickly, and honestly i think Maru was a planned pregnancy, I think robin wanted to give Sebastian a sibling so he’d be less lonely, and i think they’d figure that bonding would happen easier if they were closer in age. I see this being very upsetting to Sebastian, i think he’d see his father once in a while but when hes around 12-13 it’s just.. silence.
Honestly, i think Demetrius would try really hard to bond with Sebastian. But once Maru came along both him and robin were just.. busy. I think Demetrius would unfortunately think “wow this is my first child!” And it alienated Sebastian. I think Sebastian feels abandoned. Replaced. Unwelcome. Which is why he struggles with opening up to others and prefers being alone.
Unfortunately i think robin and Demetrius would just think Sebastian was a more difficult child and that Maru was an easier baby. I think this would embarrass Sebastian and shame him, i dont think they ever meant anything by it but i do think Sebastian was a fussy child who wanted to be soothed. But after their comments, he’d isolate himself so that he too, would be an “easier” child for them. As Sebastian ages i think robin would feel she didnt do enough for him, i think she worries about him often but almost feels like it’s “too late”. I think eventually Sebastian would come to resent and feel mistreated by all his parents and as his behavior worsened, he’d get compared to Maru even more, furthering the resentment and pain he feels. I do think he’d be a meaner older brother though, causing Demetrius to be more protective over Maru causing stronger feelings of “you’re not my dad!” And etc…. Can you tell im sleepy yet?
TLDR: i think they would try their best but ultimately end up sidelining him, causing him to act out more until he just didnt care anymore.
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heartkaji · 8 months ago
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[ ★ ⸻ @seumyo ]
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selfship event
★ OVERVIEW
EUMY MY SWEET GIRL HI !! looked at my inbox and smiled,, im so happy to write this angel 💓ANYWAY, you and katsuki are the nice gf x nonchalant bf ! you’re the class sweetheart and katsuki is your mean bf & everyone wonders how you two are in a relationship with each other. before i dive into the questions, i want to elaborate on your dynamic a bit : as i said, you’re the class sweetheart. i think you’re the type who can come off as a people pleaser to some but god knows you just have everyone’s best interest at heart. you’re the type who gets uncomfortable when you realize someone dislikes you, often wondering why or what you’ve done to upset them. bakugo’s the opposite though. this man is the original bad bitch, he doesn’t gaf who talks behind his back cuz a bitch knows better than to let him hear it (i hope we all got the reference here). you two are complete opposites in the social scene & i really think bakugo helps you in becoming more secure in yourself and learning to care less about what others think.
Q3– WHO FELL FIRST & WHO FELL HARDER ?
OKAY SO HERE’S WHAT I THINK : you didn’t like katsuki at first. you found him rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, selfish & an asshole in general. you hated how he spoke to your friends & everyone around him. a part of you admired his confidence though : he had the gall to take on things you couldn’t even dream of, and he always lived up to whatever he said he’d do. admiration bred respect. of course you never let him know that, you just admired him from a distance. i think that in your case you really did ‘fall’ in love. like there was just one moment were all of a sudden bakugo wasn’t that bad after all. i don’t mean to make you look like some shoujo protagonist but this man saved your ass. see, you didn’t go unnoticed by katsuki. while he thought of you as some annoying extra, you had your merits. he perceived you as some sort of people pleaser so it low key put him off, but he did admire the lengths you’d go to for others. well not admire, but he thought it was respectable how you put your friends first & foremost, even though that’s not something he agrees with. anywho, because of your personality people often try to take advantage of you. you’re usually good at standing your ground, but when the perpetrator is someone who’s actually close to you it becomes difficult to do. when a friend of yours was trying to push all the work for a project unto you, you refused but they resorted to shaming & guilting you. bakugo who was nearby got sick of your classmate’s bitching. “she said she doesn’t wanna do it, fucktard. do your shit yourself.” he said it with his usual aggressive tone before walking away. that did the trick and scared them off, but it left you stunned : who knew katsuki could feel empathy & defend you ? with blushing cheeks, you realized you didn’t quite hate katsuki anymore <3
sorry eummz but you fell harder as well. i don’t think this is too surprising; bakugo is far from the type to give his heart out. even in marriage, i don’t see his pro hero self being a lover boy or simp (but he’s definitely much more mature & loving). i feel like in your relationship with katsuki, you overcompensated a lot. i could see you as someone who might do more chasing than attracting in a relationship, always overthinking texts, waiting for him to call, starting convos, etc. i dont blame you, especially in katsuki’s case. when you’re dating him it’s like damn, if you don’t make the effort who will ? you become slightly obsessive (not at all in a creepy way), thinking about him nearly every time of day. i basically think you have a more anxious attachment style and katsuki triggers that a lot. i’d say if you ever meet a real life katsuki, you should work on that before you consider a relationship (don’t worry my love i’d never trigger you. we could always date instead 💘)
Q5– WHAT DO OTHERS THINK OF UR RELATIONSHIP ?
NOBODY and i mean NOBODY understands how you two got together 😭 the bakusquad (do we still call them that in 2024 ??) tease you about it all the time. kiri’s always going on about how he could treat you better while mina wonders if you secretly do drugs 🧍‍♂️ sero wonders how katsuki got a girl before he did, and kaminari always asks you for any gossip going on in your relationship (nosy ass smh). dating bakugo is one of the best things that ever happened to you because you got to become closer with his friends ; the squad all love you to death <3 between you and me, mina would 100% side with you and stop talking to bakugo if you ever broke up. honestly she doesn’t play about you. everyday she’s reminding katsuki that if he breaks your heart she’ll break his bones (empty threat but it’s the thought that counts !). kiri is also the absolute sweetest :(( he calls you his sister in law & is basically your provisional boyfriend when bakugo isn’t around. one time he caught you crying over a test & he kissed your forehead & hugged you, telling you it’s alright <3 he got a good ass whooping from bakugo but hey, what can you do ?
Q6– WHY/HOW DID YOU BREAK UP ?
dependency & clashing attachment styles. bakugo leans closer to an avoidant while you’re more anxious. i feel like you’re not exactly ‘all over him’ as a girlfriend. you know it would make him uncomfortable so you give him his fair share of space. but said space kills you. whenever you’re going through those periods were katsuki withdraws, you know pestering him to talk and communicate only worsens things so you let him pull away but boy does it drive you crazy. you can’t help but wonder what he’s doing, if he’s thinking about you, etc. you used to vent to mina, but she’s a man hater & the only advice she knows how to give is that you two should break up ☠️ eventually you had enough and decided to communicate (uh oh!). it ended pretty badly, with katsuki calling you a distraction; saying you were too needy & clingy and other stuff that made you feel absolutely terrible. you cried yourself to sleep each night & locked yourself up in your dorm. mina & kiri came to check up on you nearly everyday, while sero & kaminari frequently called to check on you. sero would often face time you while doing stupid shit so you could smile btw <3 either way you weren’t the same for weeks, and you honestly questioned ever finding love again.
Q16– HOW WAS YOUR FIRST KISS LIKE ?
as i said before this man is the original bad bitch 🤦‍♀️ atp he probably watches thewizardliz or sheera seven because why was he trying so hard to be the high value woman in the relationship 😭 this man did not let you touch, kiss, hold or hug him until a good ELEVEN MONTHS. it was exact too so you almost thought he planned it. anyway, this was how it began: sero was throwing a housewarming party (literally for his parents own house, WITHOUT their permission 🤦‍♀️) and ofc you were invited. somehow tape face got a hold of some alcohol & so they were passed around at the party. i say party but keep in mind it was just a small get together of the baku squad + you. anyway, you’d never drank alcohol before; you’d always been a goodie two shoes but sero pushed you to try some : “come on eumy gummy, try something new for once !” a part of you wanted to loosen up & fit in, so after initially refusing you caved. sero’s drinks were sweet as hell, they weren’t weird tasting like you’d heard most people complain about alcohol so you downed them like apple juice. katsuki called you out on your drinking, but after a pout of your lips & a stubborn whine he eventually let you do what you wanted. you kissed his cheek with wine soaked lips & continued to chug as mina & the boys hyped you up. they should not have hyped you up. five glasses in & now you were a stumbling, groaning mess, leaning on kiri for support & hardly able to stand.
katsuki decided enough was enough. you couldn’t walk, so he had to carry you on his back. it was nearly 3am, so he wasn’t too worried about getting caught sneaking back to the dorms. the entire way back you’re a babbling mess, squishing his cheeks with a clumsy grin on your face as you coughed over your own words every now & then. in the elevator, you suddenly began banging on his back : “put me down, katsuki ! i can walk myself !” he insisted you couldn’t, but like the stubborn girl you are you wouldn’t let him rest till he let you go. he guided you off his back & you stumbled against his chest immediately. with rolling eyes & a muttered “told you so,” he placed his palms on your hips & held you against his chest. the contact made you break into a silly grin & you roped your arms around his neck. katsuki raised a brow but you were too drunk to notice. gently & lazily you began to press sloppy kisses to his cheek & i wanna say bakugo pushed you away BUT HE DID NOT !! he simply sighed as you dragged your lips against his face, mouth sticky with strawberry chambourd & the scent of french liqueur. WARNING ! what happens next will shock you : bakugo puckered his lips, not moving an inch forward, but you’re quick to oblige : you press your wine drenched lips to his chapped ones & he pulls away immediately. it’s a sweet, sticky, impulsive peck at best, but it leaves you all giddy & giggling. the elevator dings & bakugo leads you out, your hand in his palm as he tugs you forward without glancing back <3
# KATSUEUMY CORE !
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>> 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 <<
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© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload
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vettelsvee · 18 days ago
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THANK YOU
im a landoscar fan, and im SICK of everyone treating them differently and acting as if Mclaren 'wronged' oscar for not letting him pass. If oscar wanted passed he should have A) overtaken, or B) qualified ahead. Mclaren are treating them equally this season, alos because its like... the very start of the season. Oscar is great! Lando doesnt gell with the car. the moment Andrea Stella says Oscars pace was masked by the DRS and that the car is too sensitive you know the issue isnt the drivers, although they make their mistakes, both of them.
What i hate the most is a lot of Oscars toxic fanbase (and lando's toxic fanbase in return defending wrongly) saying team orders should have happend, when in australia teamorders were the worst thing imaginable. its only bad if oscar is disadvantaged, if he is favored teamorders are great and if they DONT happen (like yesteday) they are hurting oscar. (same goes for Lando fans who do the same, but reversed, when its lando's turn)
Same goes for the radio messages. If lando said the "cheeky" radio message Oscar did, you know he would get so much hate over him. Its an innocent comment, i dont see oscars comment as something bad, but the fact that the double standard between how Oscar is treated and how Lando is treated based on the 'fictional' personalities people have created for them both is ircking me.
Oscar is not emotionless, the guy does laugh and smile, he does get angry and makes reckess decisions because of it. he is a human, not some robot, he isnt a new "kimi' he is Oscar.
Lando is not 'mentally weak', or a 'gamer' (anymore) or childish/disrespectfull.
They BOTH make mistakes, they both qualified behind max which cost them the win, mclarens strategy also didnt help, but the team not letting Oscar pass Lando is not the reason they didnt win. it was their quali, and im sick of Lando getting the blame
TL:DR: thank you for being a normal fan who can see both sides. from both sides this race can be explained and can be angry about. but bashing a driver because of it is not okay and more 'fans' need to see that
i really try to see both sides of the team even i’m not really a fan of lando, but if he does better than one of my reps i’m going to applaud him for that! some goes for lewis not doing so good in ferrari and charles doing better than him (ferrari is other thing, but i think you get me)
i don’t know and don’t get me wrong, but i talked about this with a friend a few days ago and i think lately formula 1 has become such a product with drive to survive and stuff that i sometimes feel like i’m not watching the same sport i’ve been watching my whole life, but a reality mixed with supporting a boyband of 20 men because really, sometimes i feel exactly the same way i felt (and how i behaved) back in my days as a one direction fan, creating personalities for people that are just being public people and treated as “products”
i really love that many more people is getting into f1 since i’ve been watching it my whole life and never, EVER, had friends who liked it and people even told me why did i like a sports that’s just for men (not to talk about the comments in spain for being a seb and lewis fan), but the fanbase is really toxic and yeah, i try to get it because i used to behave like that when i was 13-14, but still toxicity is not really appreciated in here (that’s why i quit f1twt for example)
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ellitx · 1 year ago
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elli...!! i dont know if someone has already done this so feel free to ignore but... what if...
venti is a sex worker and he was hired by y/n. usually his customers would be more experienced, and would lean more on doing rougher stuff, so he was surprised when he met y/n in her house, being inexperienced and kind of shy, asking for just a kiss. her reason being, she never had a boyfriend before and her peers are teasing her for being a virgin and not getting her first kiss yet... so she hired venti for.. experience and practice¿ >/////< then of course things will escalate from there since venti gets attracted to her, so he'll seduce her into giving in to him... hehe... then maybe after that they'll meet more and get to know each other better o/////o
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It was unexpected.
Really. What are the chances that the sex worker you hired would be someone you know? Especially if it’s a close friend of yours. Sure, Venti throws dirty jokes here and there for fun, but to discover this was his actual job?
You’re not one to judge but it was really unexpected. Never in your life would you ever possibly think he would be your practice partner in experiencing sexual intercourse when you’re a beginner yourself. And you can’t really blame the company when practically Venti was assigned to fulfill your commission.
You sat at the edge of your bed idly, hands over your knees clenched into a fist as you tried your best to quiet your heavy anxious breaths. You really hope you’re not breathing too loudly lest it’ll make more things awkward with him.
You could feel he was gazing at you occasionally but averted when you caught him. How long has it been since you’ve invited him to your room? 5 minutes? Or more than that? Honestly, you don’t know when all your head was fussing about was how to handle this awkward tension.
It’s not like Venti hadn’t been here. He only visited once and that’s it. You pretty much bond outdoors more than indoors. Ah, if only you could talk to him casually like an afternoon Tuesday and it’ll be an easy breeze.
But that’s easier said than done.
You shifted, fiddling with your hands, trying to find the right words for a starting conversation. But Venti was quick to start before you could even open your lips.
“Hey, we don’t need to do it if you don’t want to alright? We prioritize your comfort over the actual thing.”
Oh no.
This doesn’t sound good at all. Does he want to stop it because he doesn’t want to disappoint you or himself?
Your voice came out so nervously.
“I-I don’t mind at all, please don’t stop it because I also feel nervous. If anything…”
You paused, trying to pick up your nerve again. “If anything we should try our best to get through this!”
Wow…
You really made things more awkward than ever, huh?
‘Try our best to get through’? Really? Was that the best you could think of?
Archons, you just want to hide yourself, drown in the abyss of the sea, and never show your face to him ever again.
Your frenzied thoughts were interrupted by a small laughter. Venti was laughing but it was obvious he was holding back from bursting out out of courtesy.
“Haha! That’s so like you! I still can’t believe you’d be so interested in this kind of thing, [Name].”
Well, in the end, he did burst out into a hearty laugh after all. And he wasn’t holding back his tears either. Your face warmed up, the embarrassment becoming a shame, and the shame turned to a playful anger. You huffed, cheeks puffed out with your lips pursed.
“Yae keeps on teasing me how I’m still a virgin...” You mumbled under your breath.
Maybe you should be thanking him instead? Even though you’re mad at him for teasing you at least it eased the awkwardness, somewhat.
He gave you a soft look as he replied, “Are you sure you’re alright with this? With me being your partner?”
You quieted down as you gazed at him. His eyes were soft and comforting, as there was also a dash of reassurance. With Venti, someone who you know very well, being your partner to experience within the world of lust, it’s a safe choice.
You could even ask him questions if you have any concerns which makes contact much easier. You didn’t hesitate anymore as you smiled reassuringly at him.
A simple nod from you was enough to confirm and wash away his doubts and worries.
“Alright. Can you close your eyes?” He requested.
You nodded and waited patiently for his instruction. His finger traced along your brow, making you giggle lightly. His gentle touch left warmth running down your spine. No more than a later, something soft and warm made contact upon your cheeks.
You opened your eyes to see what was it that brushed onto you but Venti’s hand softly covered them, making your vision return to its dark state.
“Sorry, I wasn’t being clear.” His voice was now soft and breathy and you shivered from how his breath was fanning your cheeks. “You can open them once I tell you so. In the meantime, keep them close for me, okay?”
You gave a shy nod as you bit your lower lip. Not knowing what was happening made you so anxious, but with how gentle and caring he holds you against him felt so safe and reassuring.
It seems he understood your situation. So you decided to relax a little, closing your eyes and slowly exhaling while he moved his arms around you.
Soon after, he began to nuzzle at your ear, gently caressing the flesh of your neck with the tips of his fingers. The warmth from his hands slowly traveled towards your body, raising your body temperature up.
Then his fingers stopped over to your lips. He traced them slowly and lightly, caressing them as if memorizing every contour of your lips. A few moments passed by before his fingers touched your lower lip and you let out a gasp of pleasure. Then, the pad of his thumb slowly grazed your bottom lip, causing you to suckle on them unconsciously.
You heard a soft groan and your heart raced, your stomach tightening and your core beginning to become warm. You heard him faintly curse under his breath, and the creaking of the bed signified he was searching for a comfortable position.
Because a second later, one hand was on your hips holding you close to him while the other was parting your lips.
“Can I…?” He asked.
It was obvious what he was asking, and your heart beat faster and faster from his short yet heart-throbbing question. It was racing through the roof, chasing the highs of your adrenaline.
You nodded again. The urge to open your eyes was strong but you resisted, scolding yourself to follow Venti’s words.
It felt so sensual, the feel of his rough fingers pressed against your skin, almost tickling it. And that caused another gasp to come from you, however, something slightly warm and soft was pressing onto your pink lips.
Venti moved his head forward, softly kissing your lips, nibbling and sucking the soft flesh of your mouth. You were unsure on what to do and how to reciprocate the kiss. Should you lean? Tilt your head? Or open your lips a bit? You decided the latter option is the safest one.
Slowly parting them, you moaned when he gently bit on your lower lip. You clutched onto his shirt, your brows digging deeply into your temple as you calmed the heat running through you. The kiss felt so good that you almost forgot what you were supposed to be doing. When Venti broke the kiss you whined and you heard him chuckling. Even with your eyes closed, you can sense he had that teasing smile painting on his face.
"Venti?" You called when he didn't make any sounds or movements. The said male hummed then the bed shifted. Were you supposed to open your eyes now? But Venti hadn't given you any signals yet. You opted to keep them close and it was good that you did because your face was beet red as you fiddled with your fingers.
"Can we continue the kiss, please?" You asked in a small voice. Venti chuckled at your shy plea.
"Of course."
It didn't take any longer for him to return his lips to yours. You hummed lightly, relaxing against him. He hugged your waist, carefully holding you close. With his hand cupping your cheeks, you wonder if your shyness was being dissolved because of his comforting presence. 
The kisses were short and sweet and Venti would break away for a second and then return to you immediately. Perhaps so you can breathe effectively, but you paid no mind to it because you'd chase after him every time he parts.
This time it lasted longer. You were beginning to adjust to such intimacy that your breathing began to accelerate along with the increasing warmth and tingly sensation in your stomach. The flush in your cheeks deepened when you felt something prodding at your mouth's entrance. 
You fell onto your bed with a soft landing and Venti planted one hand beside your head while still cupping your cheek. He licked your lips, asking for permission, and when you granted him he wasted no time to taste you deeper into the sweet nectar. He tilted his head, kissing you again and again and again but with passion.
Softly moaning against him, you returned his kisses. You clutched, gripped, and held onto his shoulder as you fought back against the orgasmic pleasure. This has been going on for a while and yet, he hadn’t given up yet. You enjoyed each kiss and bite from his tongue and teeth, not stopping until he earned another moan from you.
He kissed you deeper, this time pushing his tongue into you and you gasped. Your legs squirmed, reaching out for something until they locked onto his hips. Venti grunted, one hand moving over to cover your eyes while the other kept your hips against the mattress as he lightly bucked his hips to yours.
Oh god…
For your first kiss, this man feels so good… You whimpered beneath him. A low sound escaped your lips. He chuckled. He doesn’t mind at all, does he?
“Cute,” He murmured, brushing some hair off your face and tilting his head up to look at you with lustful eyes. You blushed again and averted your gaze down. His lips curled upwards. It must be something about you that made you so sweet, like sugar and honey mixed together.
You shook your head and looked back at him. “I-I’m sorry… I’ve never been with anyone… So this isn’t… I don’t—“
As you were rumbling, you were cut off by the same pair of lips that had you instantly melting. You gasped as he took your lips with his, aggressively making you gasp again and causing more goosebumps to pop up on your body.
With one hand wrapped around the nape of your neck, the other still holding your face to his, you heard him whisper. “I told you to close your eyes, didn’t I? Just relax and enjoy, [Name].”
The warmth in his voice caused you to nod, relaxing and feeling his hands glide from your face to your shoulder blades.
His fingers spread over your skin and then glided lower, gliding across your lower back and dipping under the hem of your shirt.
And he kissed you again, deep and soft. The tip of his tongue flicked against the roof of your mouth, sending shivers down your spine.
You whimpered louder, unable to suppress the shy excitement bubbling within you. Your hips begin to squirm again, craving more friction and movement.
His tongue continues to dance between your lips, making you shudder against him. Slowly, he lets go of your lips, kissing down your chin and neck. His lips met the spot where your jawline meets your collarbone and you felt his hot breath on your skin. He nuzzled against you, quietly admiring how pink you were just from a long kiss. You turned your head, keeping his hair from tickling your skin.
A moment passed before his lips started to lick and suck at the area, sending another wave of bliss rushing throughout your entire body. God, is this what making out feels like?
Your entirety was burning hot, your nerves receiving one shock to another, and you felt so wet between your legs. All of these, all of what Venti is doing to you is making you feel an immeasurable pleasure of bliss.
You don’t know what you were doing except to moan and whimper his name out from your pretty mouth.
“Hmm… Venti…”
The said man grunted, his teeth grazing your flesh before biting and sucking your skin. You muffled your screams with your hands. With the darkness and bites combining with each other, it’s difficult to grasp what Venti will do next.
Because by the time you were thinking of it, his lips traveled to your neck and returned to kissing you. After giving you a good long and deep kiss he parted, a small string of saliva following after him.
He gulped his heavy breaths and permitted you to open your eyes. Your whole face was red and sweaty, your lips once coated with balm were now gone and replaced with the dripping of saliva, and your clothes were slightly disarray.
But you’re not complaining.
“You can open your eyes,”
As you obliged his words, Venti was gazing at you deeply. His green optics swirled with a great amount of lust. He hovered over you, his hands slipping beneath your shirt to caress your soft and warm skin so he could remember all areas of your body from his palm alone. 
Through your hazy vision, you can faintly make out some of your tinted balms were all over his lips. It'd be nice to paint his face with your lipstick...
But maybe on another day.
Putting his temple against yours, his breathy voice gave you shivers. “Continue or stop?” He asked.
You too were panting, so occupied by those delicious kisses he fed you that you eventually forgot to answer him.
“Yes or no? If you don’t answer I’ll take that as a no, [Name].” He kissed your jaw, his palm so dangerously close to your breasts that he was already fiddling with the underband of your bra.
Without hesitation, you replied, “Continue, please.”
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cringelordofchaos · 11 months ago
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craig is so fucking emotionally repressed and afraid of being vulnerable and open about his feelings and bottles them up way too much until he cant handle it and it never gets resolved i love him
he thinks he "is in control of his emotions", but in reality it seems like he's moreso blocking them out or ignoring them, or trying to rationalize the situation. (at least that's what it seems to be the case judging by the fact that's how he tried to help tweek feel better in Put It Down.) But it's literally canon that his primary weakness is communication so its definitely moredifficult for him to express his emotions unless he burts them out (like in his argument with tweek in put it down.)
love his relationship with tweek, it really forces him to confront an important part of life he is shown avoiding - emotions. and by talos it is difficult for him but he's learning.
though at the same time he's overwhelmed and overburdened, since tweek is pretty emotional and sometimes potentially clingy (due to him being naturally insecure of himself and somewhat relying on craig for encouragement), this might be perceived as a threat for craig who's practically afraid of emotions or vulnerability, and probably doesnt know how to manage them the best.
this is best shown (but not resolved) in Buddha Box where Cartman says the buddha box can help him block out anxiety or other people that may overburden him. he begins to talkabout tweek and feeling like hes always asking for his attention. so he just tries blocking everything out instead of confronting this or communicating this to tweek. its pretty interesting how they practically made it canon that he actually struggles with anxiety, despite him being the monotone, deadpan and calm one, especially when compared to tweek. im pretty disappointed they didnt resolve this by the end, but boy am i glad they showed the part of him that struggles as much as others. from what we know, craig is really not that close to many people, or much things, besides stripe, his guinea pig... so given his difficulties with communicating and accepting his feelings accompanied by the fact that he isnt and never was close to that many people, i dont blame him for finding it difficult to exactly manage his relationshiip with tweek, especially as tweek is really emotional himself. and craig does care, a lot, and does want tweek to be happy, and he tries helping him by simply being logical and coming up with solutions, rather than thinking emotionally, but sometimes that's simply not enough. and he does learn that in put it down but sort of starts struggling again in buddha box, except this time instead of learning to be emotinally vulnerable for tweek, he shuts himself off from everyone. though hopefully one day he learns to be more open, because that's pretty important in general but especially in a relationship, i think.
eurghhhh they complete each other so well. they are so different which does prove itself to be an obstacle but also is important for both of them, because they learn soo much from each other. Tweek learned how to be more confident in himself 'in a way he never has before' thanks to craig. and tweek is helping craig learn how to manage emotional relationships and life better and understand emotions in general.
Im not sure where exactly his emotional suppression comes from. It could be due to his family being more closed off. it could be due to him possibly being autistic. it could be due to both. it could be due to neither. but i love him nonetheless.
anyway sorry for small rant. the post was initially just gonna be one sentence but i felt like elaborating on what i meant. i love craig tucker soooo much. he makes me soooo happy.
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s0lar-ch3ri · 2 years ago
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thinking about him (spoilers for jrwi)
thinking about how in atleast 2 scenarios chip has blamed himself more then needed, first with ollie ("i took him from his home") then with gillion ("i gave him the card") and each time he tried to put on a confident face but really it ate away at him inside.
thinking about how gillion is constantly taking on responsibility and chip canonically sees gillion as inspiration (humble beginnings, bizly says the inspo from the future is from gillion tidestrider) and its not like he only takes some blame but usually its all the blame because gillion knows how to acknowledge his faults somewhat.
thinking about how chip takes promises ever so seriously (ie, not even doing simple lies after promising gill that he wouldnt) yet hes such an example of "change doesnt happen overnight" and how he acts can be directly or indirectly related to past adventures and/or trauma (probably even how he copes is atleast somewhat connected to the guy he killed under price).
thinking about how chip grew up looking up to arlin and seeing what a great example of pirates the black rose were and trying to be something atleast somewhat great and feeling like he failed when hes the only one on deck with somewhat an idea of what a pirate is.
thinking about how chip would lie to protect his friends yes but became a lying machine to protect himself before and hid his intents because while he can absolutely trust his crew his instinct is too not because he got used to being on his own and putting himself first and now hes around people (mostly gill) who put themselves before him to help protect him.
thinking about how easily gillion made friends with people on islands and eventually it rubbed onto chip too (ie: gryffin, felipe, etc) as he unlearned the idea that hes alone in a cruel world that only exists to make him suffer and theres a light in everyones life that makes it even just slightly better, no matter the background (main example is gill again).
thinking about how much gillion is willing to sacrifice for his friends and when felipe wanted to stab him every night, it was chip who tried to talk sense into gill because he cares for gillion and (most likely) was worried that felipe may be lying about healing and may full on kill him.
and all these thoughts (and more) make me feel so much when they found the empty rowboat with nothing but ashes and a fiendish smell and gillion starts blaming himself so chip grabs his shoulders and says "its not your fault, you werent the one who made him grab the card" because somewhere in my heart it feels like maybe chip isnt just talking to gill but to the part of himself that keeps on trying to hold onto every wrong hes done, every sin that keeps him up at night, every lie that is amplified in his skull, that he deserves forgiveness and not everything in the world lays on his shoulders.
and with these thoughts, one more comes to mind: chip and gillion are so similar in backgrounds and morals and thats why theyre the ones that break each others walls and misunderstand each other and fight because they probably dont even fucking see it.
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mellohiizz · 6 months ago
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im more complex about the episode then everyone else seems to be apparently. imo they all sucked this episode.
for one, i am actually a dean sympathizer. lets be real parrot and wifies both treated him badly. i wouldnt have told parrot either when he was there constantly repeating the exact same things ash said to blackmail dean; and wifies isnt much better for affirming the shit ash told dean either, infact i would argue wifies was even worse then about it. if i was there hearing "ash was right. youre a burden, but thats ok." and "ash was right. your a burden, we should be leaving you for dead." i wouldnt want to risk jeopardizing my one source of safety either.
before the reveal that dean was actually involved in the leaking of their location wifies just came of as a semi-controlling dick. there were a million better ways all of them could have done things this episode. i dont really like the wifies glazing as if he was perfect this episode and didnt treat a fellow victim who lodgically didnt have a choice like shit. wifies is smart enough to figure out dean didnt want to sell them out. imo he had no actual reason to reason to treat dean with as little empathy as he did, especially when wifies knows exactly what its like to have his existance used to get to parrot in the exact chain of events parrot referenced after the compass was burnt.
both sides of odessy were being hypocritical and hurtful as hell and thats been a theme of uu the whole time. theyre all flawed, they are make mistakes and are selfish and hurt others doing what they think is righteous or best or safest. uu is the dichotomy of perspective, about how everyone does what they think is best and how more often then not that best hurts atleast someone. and guess what? thats life. thats actually pretty normal, especially if youve been through your own shit or are traumatized like the characters of uu are.
they all suck and hurt people, thats the moral of the story. the moral that feels very lost on most of the fandom...
-🔍🏰(f:▶️🥊)
honestly, good take. kind of made me rethink some things that happened in the episode as well.
to be fair, yes, obviously dean was treated badly the whole episode. even i noted that wifies was a bit too harsh with how he approached things the whole video. he knew that dean was leaking information, didn't tell parrot, and still tried to put basically the whole blame of it on dean. "you could argue i hid it from you" yes, wifies, you did keep it from parrot, knowing that parrot would've tried to look for a different solution.
parrot was obviously not any better. he brushed off wifies despite the other very clearly showing signs of concern and he did also openly called dean a burden. which is, yes, he was slowing them down, but i feel like there was a nicer was to go about it.
and yes, i do sympathize with dean, but he did hide a piece of pretty crucial information from them, keeping a leverage in the compass, and then ran away after being confronted. it's fair, i'm not saying he was entirely wrong for that too, but i feel like it wouldn't be fair to say anyone was fully in right/wrong.
and yeah, you're are right, the morality of characters is a pretty obvious focus on the whole uu, and obviously all of them are very flawed. taking wifies's words, we just need to try and look at things from all of their perspectives. they're all understandable, and in some ways even reasonable, but there were much better ways to go about the whole situation, but the problem was exactly that. perspective. they were all focused on their individual goals and didn't try to see everything from the perspective of others. and that's what separated all of them.
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evilmagician430 · 13 days ago
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i want to draw P.I.E. in the mid/late 2000s so bad just like as a friend group of lame ass teenagers/young adults... they would make such a good fashion doll lineup here's my thoughts so far
warning long as fuuuck
emo (more than usual) ghost just beginning his transition, not on hormones yet but doing everything else he can to appear manly
scene/raver toast big enjoyer of the night life and being tacky and sloppy drunk makeouts with his gf at da clubbbb he's in what feels like the prime of his life and doing lots of drugs tbh actually really sad but he's not sober long enough to think about it usually.
when him and Mary get married things get worse because he tries to clean up his style a bit but is still very much addicted to substances and also the tension between them grows because she kinda knows he'll never love her like he loves his childhood best friend and i don't blame her for that that's honestly a tragic situation to be in for both of them. after she dies toast kind of takes that as a sign to clean up his act and leave his past lifestyle behind so it never happens again. he is very ashamed of this point of his life but one can't deny his drip is impeccable and the music was bumpinnnn
speaking of Mary i've been thinking about her more lately and i know some people would make her out to be a jealous evil wench in the way of the awesome yaoi (stupid and obviously misogynistic) and now more people portray her as this glamorous woman who was free of sin and did nothing wrong (no shade to people who do this also im exaggerating in both examples anyways lol. but i think this end of the spectrum is also boring and can be misogynistic as well even though definitely intended the opposite way)
i think my interpretation of Mary is somewhere inbetween these 2 because i really wanna try and make her more interesting. im not better than anybody else but i want to try and innovate if that makes sense. not that nobody else has written her as a nuanced character im sure it's been done and I love 2 see it. also at the end of the day it's not really serious it's not about who's the best at playing toys it's just whatever we personally see in these characters and want to convey
anyways i think mary was sort of homophobic but only towards her husband and his best friend because she was always jealous of ghost. like i said before i don't blame her i dont think this makes her a bad person hell she probably isn't even actually homophobic i just said that because it sounded like a funny way to start the paragraph. i think she has this deep seated sorrow within her that never gets to be resolved because she died so young and now im realizing maybe my mary isn't that deep cause most of what i think about when considering her is still just her impact on the men in her life 💔💔 IM SORRY WOMEN it's nigh impossible to rewrite her in a way where she doesn't just serve as a catalyst for change in her husband's life and angst and not much more. or maybe it's not even that hard and this is just a skill issue on my part. im gonna try and do more research on what we know about her from canon even though from what i remember that's not much to begin with and she mostly exists in fanon... but i'll try i'll try better for women everywhere
speaking of women i need to do some research of Katrina i want her to be part of this too. and the other 2 johnnies as well. maybe gavin can be part of the doll line as well even though gavin and johnny toast don't even meet until adulthood i think? once again i must do my research. for now i ramble meaninglessly and hit post
thanks 4 reading
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