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#but i don't want to 'betray' them in a way that it's the ending of the year and the amount of job is like x10 times more than when i took
demodraws0606 · 3 days
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DRDT CHARACTER THEME PLAYLIST - My Personal Interpretation
Warning : This playlist was deleted by DRDTdev and thus this is mostly meant to be something fun, and also because people have posted a lot of interpretations that I don't agree with (and I've always wanted to make my own).
So a while back DRDTdev made a playlist that they've now deleted, however I've seen a lot of people making their own posts about who fits which song. However since I'm not "like the other girlsTM", i had mixed feelings on how certain songs were assigned.
Some songs will be exactly the same as some other posts, mainly because they make the most sense to me but I do have some interesting shifts here and there that I will try to explain.
However I want to get the obvious ones out of the way first
UNDEAD ENEMY : David Chiem
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I think this one is the most obvious song in the playlist. The song talks about a person who has put on a mask and is miserable trying to addear to the expectations of that mask. There is a lot of pent up frustration and anger in those lyrics which also is very fitting for David.
There is also the hints of something more behind those feelings of hatred, despite how much he's learned to hate the world there's still a sliver of him that still wants genuine companionship.
YESMAN : Nico Hakobyan
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This song already fits Nico purely from the introvert lines. I'm joking, that's not just why I considering Yesman to be Nico's song. This song fits really well with Nico's frustration with being a pushover (or you could say a Yesman) and just how society has always treated them poorly.
The song itself is about being forced to do something, like a boring job, and despite how much hatred you feel you still keep on trying to keep your head low and do what your told. I think all of that really fits Nico's arc and what we know of them so far. Someone who constantly is pushed down by other and has been taught that they need to accept it.
SHUNRAN : Arei Nageishi
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This song could also fit Ace as another aggressive person who just wants companionship but I personally think this song fits Arei way better especially with the beginning line ("I won't pay attention to small fry" has a lot of Arei vibes).
This song fits Arei's desire to want love and the contradiction that comes with her aggressive personality. She feels that it's unfair how life punished her which fits a lot with the line "They say that praying to be loved is a sin" as she was constantly denied that love. The lines as well about your personality slipping and crying reminds me of Arei's breakdown.
Hi-Fi Evolution Theory : Veronika  Grebenshchikova
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This song is very vague but despite that it is 100 pourcent a Veronika song.
I don't fully know what the song means in itself but the lyrics really fit Veronika's issues with boredom and her enjoyement of the killing game. There's a lot of lines about laughing and wanting to be entertained which just goes with her really well with her character.
Cartoons : Rose Lacroix
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Ok, I think I lied when I said Undead Enemy was the most obvious song, THIS is the most obvious song. I don't think there's much analysis to be done to convince anyone that this is would Rose's theme.
This song reflects well Rose's depression and pain surrounding her talent and just how her life turned out in general. It kinda has that dissociative numbness in the lyrics that just fits her really well.
Sing Along : Teruko Tawaki
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This song really fits Teruko extremely well especially her abandonnement issues. The song itself sounds aggressive but it oozes of longing and sadness.
A lot of the lyrics fit her feelings of being betrayed by Xander and Min, people she's gotten close to in a short time but immediatly ended up betraying her. It also fits her feeling towards her brother who ended up leaving her as well.
Now let's take a break and tackle the Instrumental songs !! This is where things start to change from other posts so get ready.
Spitfire (05 Version) : J Rosales
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This one just fits J's vibes quite well. It's aggressive but also isn't too serious or intimidating, it just sounds like something J would listen in the car.
It also just has this...manly energy (?) or punk-ish energy that J has, it fits her rejecting the traditional feminity her mom tried to force on her.
Main Theme, Diamond is Unbreakable : Xander Matthews
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This song is literally Xander vibes and you can fight me on that, it has a very dramatic and grandiose sound (especially when the piano comes in) that just fits how Xander holds himself (as you can see with that pose).
It's the exact type of theme I would expect from someone being the Ultimate Rebel. There's also more actively aggressive parts that I think also fit Xander, as we see he's got a short tamper when his ideologies are challanged and he also just is surprisingly quick to resort to violence.
desk rotation by RQ laji-2: Charles Cuevas
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You can fight me again because you cannot tell this Bill Nye intro ass track doesn't fit Charles. Again it's hard to argue considering assigning instrumental tracks is really just based on vibes however this song really has a huge science show feel to it.
I could imagine hearing it while Charles is doing chemistry stuff or theorizing during the class trial.
Now let's go back to the lyrical songs, and this is where things start to go a bit crazy and I might need to justify myself a bit more.
asymptotic : Min Jeung
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I know Charles is considered the resident nerd guy but you cannot NOT give the song about math puns to Min.
I think this song works really well for Min's relationship with Teruko. It especially reminds me of what Teruko says to Min before she gets excecuted that they "should've never gotten attached to one another".
This song is about a romantic relationship that could never happen, which I think represents Min's own feelings towards Teruko. About how they could've been closer but now they'll always be drifting apart.
How Min in a way sacrificed her life for Teruko but again she'll always be "out of reach". A relationship that could never happen under the killing game's circumstances.
RUNAWAY : Levi Fontana
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I think this song especially with what Levi revealed to us latest episode REALLY fits him.
A song about a person who is repeteadly failling to try and "become better". The lines about "searching" and "tripping" goes in line with Levi's behavior in chapter 2. He's awkwardly trying to reach an ideal of the person he's supposed to be. He wants to be a "good person" but from the day he was born he was completely denied that ideal (aka "Dreams of who i want to be I'm seeing every empty page")
But there is a silver lining to all of this, the lyrics work with the moral of Levi's character. He doesn't need to run away from who he truly is, that what he considers an obstruction to his goal is simply just a part of himself he should accept. He doesn't need to "run away".
tip toes : Hu Jing
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This song already just screams Hu purely from the line "I'm reaching for something more than this feeling of being important". She's a person who wants to protect others, be someone who others can rely on but in part it's very much driven by her own ego.
The lyrics are slightly vague but the parts about her "future" I feel like really gives vibes about how she used to be someone who had givne up on her own life but now is determined to persue it no matter what.
I didn't put this lyric in but "Take this ghost of me with the tide to die" again really feels like it references Hu's past and how she's ashamed of it. The song's lyrics give me a lot of feelings of regret but also determination which I think encapsulate Hu's character well.
Polygonal : Ace Markey
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I've never seen people consider this one for Ace which is really surprising but also not because this song is very vague. Despite that, I do think this song 100 pourcent fits Ace purely because of some lines that really fit neatly with Ace's character.
The repeated mentions of how anyone would want to be loved/have someone to laugh with, it reminds me a lot of how Ace reacted to Levi saying he didn't care if he died. Ace desperately someone to give a shit about him, he'd rather take pity than nothing at all but he's also a self sabotager who drives anyone who gets close away from him.
"Your increasing honesty, I hate that about you" Honestly really feels like it's Ace saying that to Levi ? I wouldn't know fully how to explain it but it just really gives that vibe.
The song also seems to go on about a person's suffering about how their life is "full of failures" which again goes unfortunatly with Ace who seems to just have lived a pretty miserable life. Having only one person he could call a friend, being forced into an Ultimate Talent that both ruined his body and mental health .
Drawing Pins : Arturo Giles
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Ok this one is probably the most farfetched pick, i'd say ? Considering, however, how little we know about Arturo I feel like this song has a lot of room to fit his characters and certain lines already do in multiple ways.
The parts about not being able to fit in, both makes me think of how he's kind of just, openly mocked within the group. However it also really makes me think about Arturo's family, him wanting to distance himself from them and his apparent disdain from them as well.
"Tell me what you did it for" "Cause I can't figure it out" I honestly think those parts really fit well with Arturo's sister committing suicide. He doesn't know why she did it something like that and he refuses to see it as his fault, it haunts him, he can't figure out why she did it because he can't fathom the idea that in reality it truly was because of him.
The "what do i have to do to be loved by you" parts I think are where things get a bit weird. My thought process would be Arturo's feelings towards "pretty people", him becoming obsessed with J because of her mother really makes me think that he's looking out for some kind of validation in a way.
Good grief : Eden Tobisa
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I'm sorry this song is not fucking Whit, it's Eden, y'all can suck it /lh
This song really just fits way to well for me with Eden's feelings about Arei (weither she's the culprit or not even if I don't think she is anymore). The entire of the trial of chapter 2, Eden is struggling with the fact that she lost Arei and what could have been. This song really makes me think about how she tells David that she "knows she's dead and that she's never coming back". The slight upbeat-ness of the song really fits as well with Eden's attempt to try and stay cheerful despite how sad she feels.
I think Arei's death will be a very big sticking point in Eden's character.
Also the time motif with "Every minute and every hour" just fits way too good for it to be ignored.
In terms of other lyrics, I agree some of them fit Whit a bit but there are certain things that click way too well with Eden (and also none of the other songs fit Eden at all). I mean Eden's secret quote literally is "You can't go back no matter how hard you try" so clearly her character is heavily tied with grief as well.
"If you want to be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle...." Really feels to me like Eden having to learn to be stronger and stop blaming herself ? It really just sounds like advice that would be given to someone like Eden who wants to be upbeat and confident but just simply is too prone to be insecure.
"Get drunk, call me a fool. Put me in my place" Again those lyrics really just feel like they fit Arei and Eden's relationship. Arei calling Eden a "fool" and "putting her in her place", it just ends up really matching perfectly in my opinion.
Mistaken Belief of Love : Whit Young
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AHAH ! You have fallen into my trap of this post actually being secretly propaganda about how "Mistaken Belief of Love" really fits what's hinted about Whit's character so far !!!
Yeah, no, this song really does not make sense with anyone else other than Whit ? Both the lyrics and vibes do not match with anyone. The song's whole thing is about "love" and Whit's a fucking matchmaker, thematically it just fits like a puzzle piece. Not only that but Whit's whole thing (that actually hasn't rlly appeared in the series itself all that often) is that he seems to not be able to find love himself and is doomed to be single. It reinforces this idea that, yeah Whit's song would be about love in some way or another (I talk about love in general, this song is not a love song despite what you'd think)
It also works really well with Whit's secret quote being "We often idolize the dead" meaning Whit probably saw his mother as someone she wasn't. Perhaps she was abusive or neglectful, or she hid something from him that truly shows that she may not have cared about him at all.
There are also lines that just fit Whit really well like the "deception, boasting, saying "I openly laughed at it"", just really gives giant Whit vibes for me ? Same with the mention of "peekaboo" since we know Whit kinda holds on to childish things like that (his socks, the fact he uses fruity shampoo for kids).
Anyways, this was mostly for fun and also because I desperatly to make my own list because I had some Hot Takes Tm.
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oh-no-its-bird · 11 hours
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hi listen i just had a divine intervention or smth lmk if you don't like it but
what if your team Ro time travel au + my time travel Tobirama
Team Ro would have memories of the canon and they got to this different timeline and there's Tobirama actively trying to seduce Uchiha fucking Madara. They didn't teach THAT in the Academy
They got in the time when Tobirama still orchestrated meetings, but Butsuma is already dead so if everything goes well, Tobirama would get Madara and peace soon.
And then there suddenly spawn a Hatake with a sharingan with 2 Uchiha kids and a Mokuton user. Political nightmare.
Later Tobirama recognises Kakashi and was like "The fuck? It's that Hatake from the war. What is he doing there, he should not have been born yet!!"
OHHH THATS SO GOOD THO???
I'm gonna be real I love the concept of "team ro time travel au but they time travel into someone else's time travel au," that's so good
If we go with your au, there's a really interesting immediate aspect of like: hey ! Tobirama might recognize Kakashi or maybe even Tenzo from the war, but these guys are way fucking younger than when they met !!!
Idk what exactly can be done with that but it's interesting to consider. Also Tobirama talked ab Itachi and his crimes before I'm p sure? So like he knows what happens to the Uchiha and that it was Itachi who did it for the village. I wanna see him faced w the kid who he once praised for slaughtering his own clan to prove his loyalty.
I wanna see him feel the consequences of the stress Itachi is under when he (and possibly Shisui) attempt to kill Madara.
Stop interfering with his fix it fic you brats!! He's already got it covered!! You're just causing a mess!!!!
They get zapped in, like, in the middle of Tobirama's happy ending epilogue too. Tobirama is peacefully eating dinner in his house w his new husband Madara thinking "well. Alls well that ends well." Then BOOM Kakashi Shisui Itachi and Tenzo crash out of fucking nowhere directly onto their table, getting covered in food and breaking the table in half
Immediatley arrested !! I feel like Tobirama would instantly understand what happened by recognizing their uniforms + potentially Kakashi + he's already a time traveler himself so it's really no stretch for him to go "oh fuck I didn't think we'd get a double jepordy in this bitch but I guess not"
But like it's not like he can just SAY that ? Or he could but it would bring a lot of questions he probably does not want to answer.
Now another problem arises in like. I don't think Tobirama is especially attached to any of these guys. I can see him maybe having a lingering "pay it forward ig" feeling just bc they're "loyal konoha soldiers" and it'd be a waste to let that resource just burn. But also like. Under no circumstances can Tobirama have these guys share certain aspects of future knowledge.
Tobirama worked so hard to get here !!!! Literal years of planning !!!! He got his happy ending and it very much rests on Madara staying safe and sane and NO ONE IMPLYING HE WILL BETRAY KONOHA EVER !!!!! Tobirama does not even wanna RISK that becoming a rumor, he will take no chances.
Anyways I think his best course of action would be to reveal himself as a time traveler specifically to team ro, then position himself as their hokage who they should remain loyal to, say that it is for Konoha's best interests that they do not reveal certain things, and play it by ear from there.
Tobirama deciding he can't risk team ro going forward in time again and potentially fucking up the time stream or smthn. They need to stay here. He can not risk losing this shit. Sorry guys it looks like your trapped here <3
Anyways team ro being scary loyal to him bc he is the closest approximation to their (current?) Hokage and only person w the knowledge to enforce that power over them (at this time)
In my original post, like, all of team ro are already established to be kind of at their worst and most loyal to the village at that point to. They are at THE age(s) to be manipulated like that tbh, rip
It's not too bad tho. I think Itachi would feel relieved but also very guilty. Shisui too. Tenzo is violently neutral bc hes still in his "learning to be a real boy" phase from root, but it's all positive for him tbh. Kakashi is tricky bc his mental state is the equivalent of someone rapidly bouncing a ball on a thin pane of glass trying to prove it's bullet proof (it's not) and has like MOUNTAINS of complexes around the words "konoha authority figure" and what he's leaving behind. He's probably the most determined to go back
Anyways uhh. Izuna gets Itachi to help him be skeptical of Tobirama and spy on him. Itachi only agrees bc he violently reminds him of Sasuke (this will develop into a complex if not stopped. Shisui is working on it.)
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buncha discourse a year or so back about how Marius and Daniel are both complete people without Armand (agreed) and that acknowledging the way Armand sort of haunts their relationship means we're taking agency away from Daniel as a whole person (vehemently disagree) and basically I just think, it's very short sighted to look at a relationship like Marius & Daniel's and NOT acknowledge the empty space of Armand between them.
Of course!!!!! We must acknowledge that fanworks and fandom are about transformative work and someone can easily devote time & energy to writing fics where Armand is never acknowledged once if that's what they want, but it's not what I want! It's not how I prefer to approach them!
I think there's something very salient about Armand's absence between them! I want us to spend time with it! I want to ask, when Daniel is at his worst, how much of this is Armand's fault? And I want to ask, when Marius nurses him through it, how much guilt does he feel? How might he look at Armand's behavior as a maker and wonder if he fucked up, if he did wrong by Armand by not being a better maker himself, if this could've been avoided?
It's such incredible source of trauma to look at--for Marius, I think it's a matter of "He behaves this way because I couldn't keep him safe, and I didn't rescue him, and I didn't rescue him because I couldn't reconcile how betrayed and triggered I felt by his cult, and if I had taken care of Santino and taken the cult seriously all along, this could have been avoided."
And for Daniel, we have to remember it's not JUST that he had a bad turning, that he's sensory-overloaded and bad at vampiring, but this is the nastiest breakup of his life! Especially considering that like, it's so much beyond being a marriage of sorts--TILL DEATH DO US PART except they'll never die. It must have hurt him so badly. And like, he was 20 when his life effectively ended, so it's entirely possible that this is his ONLY real bad breakup, and this was his only like actual adult relationship.
But even for him, I love thinking about how badly Armand hurt him, but as he gets to know Marius and understand the situation better, and understand Why Armand is Like That, there's such a potent space for forgiveness and empathy.
I like thinking about Daniel coming out of it slowly and allowing Marius to see his real personality, and all the space where they get to know each other and care for each other. It's not unlike the Devil's Minion--growing something where there was something else. With Armand it was fear and revulsion that become familiar and passionate. With Marius it starts with caretaking and confusion, and as he gets ahold of himself and things come into focus they can get to know each other as people.
idk I just really love this triangle in VC and the dynamics are really fascinating to me, and I'm happy that I've been poking at it and dissecting it for Vamptember, and I hope my haters of the past who told me I was stupid for approaching this way know that they can simply keep scrolling and write their own fics if they don't like it! :)
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cillyscribbles · 1 day
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my modern!cats au giving me, an avid non-smoker, thoughts about smoking and self image, of all things. i will put them under the cut, but meanwhile! enjoy this 1. shameless illustration of my own fic 2. tugger not quite loving the makeup (or costuming) of his poet-murderer role. (yes a local staging of roberto zucco changed my life, very nice of you to ask!)
so smoking bad etc etc don't smoke. anyway, all three brothers deuteronomy smoke, or at least have smoked for large chunks of their lives, albeit for wildly different reasons and standpoints.
munkustrap's been smoking since middle school, his start more or less aligning with the time period when old deuteronomy falls sick, grizabella ramps up her work, and munkustrap, at the ripe old age of maybe 14, starts managing the household and finances and whatnot.
he wishes he'd never started smoking, don't get me wrong. he wishes the relief of the thing wasn't worth it. he quits and starts again throughout the years, over and over and over, climbing into the third decade of the habit without being able to break it, never moving past the numbed feeling of failure for it. it's the one crack you'll occasionally catch in that aged picture of constant steadfastness and responsibility he's got going on.
to be unable to handle it all feels to him as good as giving up entirely. he smokes behind the school. he puts away the ashtrays when he has guests over. he doesn't like smoking with company, and he hates his shame being made known. if you'll allow me a pretentious second, it's sort of like an upward climb that he wants to take on alone so nobody else sees him stumble, and no one helps him if he twists an ankle. it's fine by him because he needs to be able to handle it himself. he needs to.
so. all this, versus tugger, who started well into adulthood and barrelled into it full and consciously. tugger, who smokes to replace sleep and sanity when his life runs on cigarettes and caffeine. but nothing more. he doesn't care to quit, he doesn't care to change. cigarettes look good between his fingers. he knows how to hold them pretty, like he knows everything else about himself that builds the picture he wants.
and, on a more interpersonal level, it upsets him that munkustrap is so acutely ashamed of it, the same way munkustrap is upset tugger is so casual about it. to some degree, though, i think that's because tugger's entirely hyperaware of how fragile life is and on how small a technicality shit can go sideways and end up killing him or anyone else. it's hard for him not to think about it. but it gives him some sort of strength to look for morbid humour in the things munkustrap wouldn't let himself laugh at, i think. it's gallows humour, to be fair, but it's good humour to tugger nonetheless. he finds stakes if not thrilling then certainly intriguing.
besides, making any sort of change to himself for other people, to tugger, is like betraying himself. he's built up that resistance to outside influence, and he's built it up hard and total. he doesn't mold, he doesn't bend, he'll do and look and say whatever he wants, he associates seeking validation strictly with misery. he doesn't understand munkustrap's frustration, or desire to please people, nor does he want to.
the thing with how tugger is, i think, is that he's just prodded at enough for both the street culture he grew up in and the inclination towards self-preservation of someone visibly queer to mesh together into something that can be spectacular and unmovable, and sometimes still turn ugly. i think curiosity is easy to push into cruelty with tugger.
shame is easy to mock for someone who's overcome it and tries hard to forget how insidious it can be. i think both munkustrap and tugger can be cruel to each other without wanting to and without really transgressing toward each other in a way that would dent their relationship, primarily because it's such a strong relationship but also because they're used to some sort of cruelty from the world at least, they just know better where to hit each other verbally to mess each other up. so. self-control, boys. comes to one of them easier than the other, LOL. and again, don't get me wrong. tugger doesn't want to be cruel to munkustrap, but it's not always a thing he can push away the instinct for. munkustrap doesn't want to be cruel to tugger, but he's been making hard decisions for ages and all but expects someone to be hurt by the end of it, and tugger is manageable. so. damn
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Fraud
Pairings: Poly!marauders x disabled!reader Summary: Amycus Carrow wants to prove that you can walk. Warnings: Ableism, bullying Series Masterlist
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The echo of your wheels against the stone floor is a steady rhythm in your ears, emphasising the silence that fills the vast corridors. It's a quiet day at Hogwarts; the castle's usual cacophony is subdued to a hushed murmur, almost peaceful.
You're humming a little tune under your breath, the melody weaving through your thoughts like a comforting friend. The Gryffindor common room waits for you at the end of this journey, a sanctuary filled with laughter and warmth. You can already see James' eyes lighting up as he recounts his latest Quidditch manoeuvre, Sirius' infectious laugh bouncing off the ancient walls, and Remus' soft smile as he listens, content.
But before you reach the familiar portrait of the Fat Lady, you sense a change in the air, a shift that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. A presence, unseen but palpable, looms behind you, the slow, deliberate footsteps growing louder.
You stop, your heart pounding against your ribcage, and look over your shoulder.
There, standing tall and menacing, is Amycus Carrow. He's a seventh-year Slytherin, known not for academic prowess or sporting achievement, but for the cruelty that seems to radiate from him like a dark aura. His eyes are cold, devoid of empathy, and his lips curl into a sneer that sends shivers down your spine.
"Well, well," he drawls, his voice slithering through the corridor like a serpent stalking its prey. "If it isn't the Gryffindor girl who plays the perfect damsel in distress."
His footsteps draw closer, deliberate and menacing, blocking your path to freedom. Your heart pounds in your chest, a rabbit caught in a snare. He shouldn't know this. Only the boys have seen you walk, and you trust them implicitly—they wouldn't betray you.
You keep your face smooth, knowing that any sign of fear will only fuel his sadistic pleasure. "Out of my way, Carrow."
He doesn't move. Instead, he steps closer, a dark cloud casting shadow over your world. His hand twitches at his side, and you notice the wand loosely held between his fingers. The air around him feels charged, like a storm ready to break. "I've been hearing rumours. Interesting ones. That our little Gryffindor here can stand up just fine. Walk, even."
You swallow hard, a knot forming in your stomach. "I don't know what you've heard, but it's none of your business."
Carrow's smirk widens, and he twirls his wand lazily between his fingers. "Oh, I think it is my business. I don't like liars or people pretending to be something they're not. So why don't we find out the truth?"
You grip the armrests of your wheelchair, feeling the tension build in your body. You've dealt with people like him before—those who don't understand or care about the complexities of disability and see it as something to challenge. But this feels different. More dangerous.
"Let's see what happens when I remove the chair from under you," Carrow proposes, a sly grin creeping onto his face. "Perhaps your legs will remember their purpose."
Suddenly, the sensation of being lifted from the ground fills your senses. It's not right. Your body is still, yet it feels as if invisible hands are tugging at your limbs, pulling you upward. Panic seizes you, and your fingers dig into the armrests, knuckles white with strain.
"Stop!" you shout, your voice echoing off the stone walls. "You have no idea what you're doing!"
"Oh, but I think I do," Carrow retorts, the corners of his mouth twisting into a cruel smile. "I'm testing the validity of your claim. We'll see if the 'crippled' Gryffindor is as helpless as she says."
The pressure increases, insistent, and you feel your body rise ever so slightly from the chair. Your legs dangle uselessly, a stark reminder of their betrayal. You will yourself to remain calm, to think, but fear is a wildfire, spreading through your veins, consuming all rational thought.
Then you hear it—a sound that pierces through your terror. Voices, familiar and strong.
"Put her down."
It's Sirius's voice, sharp as a blade, cutting through the haze of your fear. You twist your head towards the sound, and for a moment, your heart dares to hope. There, just steps away, stand James, Remus, and Sirius, their faces twisted in anger, their wands raised and ready.
Carrow seems taken aback by the sudden interruption, his grip on your arm faltering ever so slightly. But he recovers quickly, his sneer returning as he keeps his wand trained on you. He tilts his head, his eyes gleaming with malice. "Well, well, what have we here? The brave Gryffindors come to play? I was just seeing if your little pet here is as helpless as she seems."
James is the first to move, stepping forward. His face is a mask of fury, but his voice remains steady, laced with an authority that belies his age. "Put her down, Carrow. Now."
Sirius follows suit, wand already drawn, pointed directly at the older boy. The threat in his eyes is as palpable as the magic crackling at his fingertips. "Touch her again, and you won't be walking for a long time."
Carrow's wand wavers ever so slightly, the beginnings of uncertainty creeping into the edges of his resolve. He glances from James to Sirius, then back to you, clearly weighing the risks of pressing on.
Then Remus steps up, placing himself between you and Carrow, his usual calm demeanour hardened by the situation unfolding before them. His voice cuts through the tense silence, carrying a note of danger seldom heard from the quiet Marauder. "If you want to hurt her, you'll have to get through us first."
Carrow's eyes flicker between the three of them, his grip on his wand flexing. There's a change in him, a falter that speaks more of caution than bravado. He's outnumbered, outflanked by their united front.
Before of your floating form, they stand like sentinels, each bristling with an energy that pulsates through the room. Their faces are masks of determination, hard lines and narrowed eyes speaking volumes of their readiness to defend. The air shimmers with tension, and for a moment, it seems that Carrow might push back against the tide rising against him.
Then, abruptly, the levitation spell is released, and you're falling. A gasp escapes your lips as you land heavily back in your chair, jarring your already bruised body. Carrow's wand lowers, the sneer on his face deepening into something even more unpleasant.
"Very well," he says, his voice dripping with disdain. "Keep your secrets for now. But don't think the others won't start asking questions about what you're hiding."
James steps forward, wand raised higher, his stance unyielding. There's a new hardness in his eyes, a promise of action should Carrow overstep his bounds. "Leave, Carrow. Before I make you."
Carrow's lip curls into a sneer, but he remains silent, weighing his options. He casts one last glance at you, a look that speaks volumes of unfinished business, before turning on his heel and marching down the corridor. His footsteps echo off the stone walls, a fading reminder of the threat he poses.
As soon as Carrow is out of sight, you release a shaky breath you didn't know you were holding, fingers still clenching the armrests with white-knuckled force. The boys are instantly at your side—Sirius drops to his knees in front of you, hands resting lightly on your own, while James and Remus hover nearby, their concern etched into every line of their tense bodies.
"Are you all right?" Sirius's inquiry is softer now, though the anger hasn't entirely left his voice.
You give a small nod, even as your pulse continues to race. "Yes, I'm fine. He didn't... he didn't harm me."
James's fingers tighten around yours, offering silent reassurance. "We should've hexed him on the spot. The nerve of him—"
A pause hangs in the air, long and heavy, before Remus speaks again. His hand remains steady on your shoulder, but there's a flicker behind his normally calm eyes—a hint of the storm raging beneath the surface. "If he so much as looks at you wrong, we'll deal with him."
"I could have handled it," you insist, your voice barely above a whisper. You force a smile, but it wavers, unconvincing. "I just didn't want to... escalate things."
Sirius shakes his head, his hands still resting on your shoulders as if to shield you from the world outside this quiet corner. "You shouldn't be dealing with this alone, Y/N," he says, voice rough with unspoken emotion. "We're here. We've got your back, always."
James leans forward, his forehead pressing against yours for a moment—a silent promise of solidarity. His breath is warm and steady against your skin, a stark contrast to the chill that has settled in your bones. "No one has the right to treat you like that," he whispers fervently, his words laced with an anger not directed at you, but fiercely protective of you. "Especially not some bloody Slytherin."
Your lip worries between your teeth, and you glance at the three men who have formed a protective barrier around you. In their eyes, you see not only concern but also a fierce determination to keep you safe. "I didn't think it would be this bad," you admit, voice barely a whisper. "I didn't tell anyone I could walk."
Remus's gaze softens even as his brow furrows deeper. "We didn't breathe a word of it either," he assures you, his tone gentle yet firm. "Carrow must have suspected or deduced it on his own. It doesn't matter now. He won't get another chance to harm you."
Sirius rises from his chair, crossing the room in long strides until he stands before you. His hand lifts, hovering for a moment before finally settling on your cheek—a touch as light as a feather yet grounding in its familiarity. "You don't owe anyone an explanation," he says, his voice a low rumble that reverberates with the promise of protection. "Especially not him."
A lump forms in your throat, but you manage to choke out a response. "I just... I didn't want anyone to think I was pretending."
James's lips press against the top of your head, his voice a low rumble that resonates with the steadiness you've come to associate with him. "No one who matters would think that. You're not pretending. You're just being you, and that's all we could ever ask for."
Sirius nods, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder, a silent pledge of solidarity. Remus continues to rub soothing circles into your back, his touch a grounding presence amid the tempest of your thoughts.
They are here—standing guard, standing with you, ready to face whatever may come. With them, you know you won't have to face it alone.
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wesavegotham · 11 months
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The different parts of Gotham War not lining up at all in terms of plot, character motivation and characterization is bad enough, but now that DC is suddenly trying to explain when other titles like Detective Comics and Batman and Robin are taking place in relation to Gotham War it gets even worse because now all of these storylines make so much less sense too.
#Gotham War#Listing all the reasons why Gotham War and Ram V's Tec run don't fit together would be complicated#Because they are doing similar things with a similar cast of characters but in extremely different ways#And I don't have the energy to go through both storylines to get the details right#But Batman and Robin is simple#You can't have a cozy father-son-story and Bruce going insane and shoving all the parental responsibilities onto Dick#to be a brooding loner again taking place at the same time#Is the entire Batman and Robin book supposed to take place during the few days that Damian was the only one on Bruce's side in GW#Before Bruce abandoned Damian?#Because unlike when Death in the Family happened you can't even use the excuse that Damian changed his mind#And decided to stay with Bruce even though dinf ended with everyone including Dami not showing up at the talk Bruce wanted to have with the#Which was what they did in B&R 2011#Because back then it was the family that decided they didn't want to work with Bruce anymore#In GW it's Bruce who tells them to leave him alone#He very explicitly abandons Damian despite the fact that Damian didn't betray him and stayed loyal#So this time Damian can hardly change his mind and decide to stick by Bruce because it's Bruce who rejected him#I'm still so confused by Zdarsky putting that in the story in the first place because he clearly has very little interest in Damian#Out of all the male Robins he played the smallest part in this#It probably would have been better for B&R if Damian had been somehow absent for Gotham War like in a lot of previous batfam events#And left the time B&R takes place unspecified#So that it just takes place in its own bubble#I'm usually all for DC telling us how things fit together but for that to be good things need to actually line up#And not outright contradict each other
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xray-vex · 7 months
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HOW YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME
#literally. re: email from my ex this morning#every day it takes every ounce of mental and emotional strength i have to get my ass out of bed and face the day#today i begin packing to move the fuck out of here#everything fucking hurts and i hate this so much#i'm not feeling brave about any of this#one of the worst things about a breakup is that it damages you for any potential future relationships#in the sense that “how can i ever trust anyone with my heart and my love ever again?”#as if it's not bad enough losing someone you thought would be in your life forever#but the deeply cutting betrayal of finding out that this person you actually trusted with your literal life had led you on FOR YEARS#ESPECIALLY in the sense that this whole scenario is giving me intense flashbacks to the ending of another relationship#that broke me so bad it almost killed me#and it's easy for them to say “i hope you find someone who makes you happy” when they have someone new in their life#if i believed i had prospects for a new romantic relationship then it would be a little easier for me to collect myself & regroup & move on#but i don't think i have it in me to go thru any of this again#and that gives me even more layers of anger and rage and grief#as if it wasn't enough to betray me and break my fucking heart#but it broke me FOR ANY FUTURE LOVE AND HAPPINESS TOO#i know it's not productive for me to think that way#but right now i am fucking drowning in my fucking pain and fucking grief and fucking rage#i wanted stability and love and trust and someone to come home to every night and someone to come home to me every night#i just wanted to love and be loved#i wanted someone who i could call home#I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED#rage#grief#trauma#edward teach#our flag means death#ofmd
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v-arbellanaris · 1 year
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To be clear, I'm sending this ask not to start an argument but because talking about S/amson's morality as a subject interests me. This is all intended politely, though I am bad at tone. While my personal thoughts on S/amson's stuff in act 3 are a little complicated (shit of him to do, and they have him be excited about the annulment on the templar route, the latter of which I do have to wonder if they did simply bc the writers hate addicts (they do) or not. Still it did happen and it IS odd when people try to act like he had less part in the attempted genocide of the gallows than C/ullen, who was way more hesitant than S/amson), how did you come to the conclusion that he was purposefully throwing mages at slavers? He says pretty explicitly that he didn't know and was trying to get mages out of Kirkwall, are you assuming he's lying or is there some extra information I'm missing? I guess I could see why he might lie here if that was his intention, but I don't… really think he is? there's nothing to point to it? I see "he gave mages to a slaver" as a point a lot in the S/amson discourse, but I don't know how people are coming to the conclusion that he wasn't genuinely doing the best with the no resources he had at that moment, and the smuggler he was using ended up being a slaver without his knowledge. This being said, the fandom posing him as super good compared to C/ullen is really weird, and while I understand why it happens, it is frustrating seeing people ignore his blatent flaws.
do i think he deliberately gave mages over to slavers? no, i don't think that. i also don't think a lack of deliberateness absolves him of blame. k/irkwall is notorious for slavers - how many do we kill in game? we find a bunch just hanging out in lowtown, and the docks, and near the wounded coast. but the guy who lives on the edge of the docks never suspects that the man taking runaways for free is a slaver?
with regards to f/eynriel, s/amson is very explicit about how he didn't help f/eynriel as much as possible because he didn't have money. instead, he directs f/eynriel to a ship captain he knows. he knew the slaver, and he sent both o/livia and f/eynriel to him. when h/awke says "of course your friend's a kidnapper", s/amson quickly says r/einer's not a friend, but someone who "isn't scared to try out this business". but what business is he referring to? f/eynriel doesn't have coin, that's the entire reason s/amson turned him away. what other reason does a ship captain in kirkwall HAVE to take people on for free? s/amson deliberately sends f/eynriel to someone else to deal with. and when he heard rumours that person was selling people, what did he do? nothing, until h/awke comes looking.
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dutybcrne · 5 months
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Thinkings thinkings of Fatui!Kaeya have been reawakened in reviewing Arle's teasers/animations
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Whether it's Dad!Pierro or not; I do love the idea of him being left in the care of the Fatui/House of Hearth#//Tho timelines considered; he prolly would be in Pierro's personal care while Arle goes through her Traumatic Matricide Experience#//Doubt the man would want to leave him out of his sight; Khaenri'ahn/Alberich ties considered#//Or maybe he was raised/trained to fight under Signora. Or even for Columbina (her namesake's ties to Pierro's; considered)#//Tho also do LOVE the idea of Kae and Taru growin up together in the Fatui ranks and being the disastrous + shy boi duo#//Tho Kae'd prolly have less to hide/fear with them when it comes to his heritage. The strictness he'd be raised with though...#//Eh; Taru could bring him out of his shell even still jdbgfkf. If anyone can; he deffo could. His little wintry sunshine#//So maybe he'd grow into his peacock self a little more naturally; even if perhaps still out of necessity/for ease of his missions#//Less of a facade to hide his grief/missing pieces tho; more like the way Taru is charming & goofy to lower people's guards#//Still has his little habit of testing people deffo is Much worse and much more sadistic when it comes down to it#//Particularly towards fellow Fatui who disrespect him or their comrades; or just someone he ends up disliking in general#//Does 'test' new comrades; but is more willing to step in & help them if need be. Wants UTMOST trust; determination & loyalty in his men#//So will only ever take those who push to complete the mission at all costs; even themselves/willingly ask him for help when they need it#//Dislikes those who run; & LOATHES cowards who abandon comrades to save themselves; he WILL deliberately make sure they don't make it back#//Still employs his intel gathering methods as normal verse; but has preying mantis tendencies when it comes down to it nbcfjgf#//ESP if they try to take advantage of/blackmail him in some way. Or worse; those who betray him. He is meticulous & VERY ruthless abt it#//His signature is decapitation & an unmelting (Abyssal energy-laced) ice shard through the heart; around which he'd carve a stylized one#//If those informants keep being useful to him; they are safe; and treated so lovingly by him; spoiled rotten with gifts & favors aplenty#//Once they lose their usefulness...well; regrettably he cannot leave any loose ends. These become frozen as statues for him to keep#//'Precious mementos of lovers & conspirators'; he'd call them. He'd keep them in his private home in Snezhnaya#v; glacialis pavonis (fatui!kaeya)#//If he had to have a Harbinger title/name (maybe bumped up for when Scara erases himself); he'd prolly be l'Innamorato#//Fitting of his methods (is also the remaining role of Commedia dell'arte lololol). He is saccharine sweet; pretty & deadly as a belladonn#//Deffo would have tango-based motifs rather than waltz; would favor frost-laced roses. Might even leave those with his victims too#//Can you tell I listened to Rondo Across Countless Kalpas as I wrote this up jhbfjgkfhf#hc; kaeya#//I mean yeah lol. I have so many more thinkings abt this verse aaAAAA#//Am torn if I want his to use a Cryo Delusion; or have him with Cryo Vision and an Anemo Delusion. Do like that for Cryo Swirls#//Then his rage/scorn could be likened to a Blizzard. Do like that image. Deffo favors his Abyssal powers more tho; maybe THAT'd be better
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zevrans-remade · 10 months
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damnation-if · 2 years
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cyberpunk organised crime ring espionage with sexy demons
lmao... something tells me they wouldn't quite fit together.
#what does the chaos mirror see#anon#time flows differently in the queue#forgive me for rambling in the tags here but. the rot Consumes me#when i say cyberpunk i guess it's technically scifi since it takes place on another planet#but in addition to loving d&d and vampire the masquerade i'm also a big fan of shadowrun#the premise is that mc is a corporate espionage agent who has to seduce their way into a gang of criminals annoying your corpo masters#the planet has a wild orbit that takes it far away from the sun and through an asteroid belt for roughly the half the year#it's a miserable time; there's no sunlight and transports can't land because of the asteroids so the planet is basically on its own#so all the rich people leave during that period and it basically becomes anarchy and chaos as everything turns to lawlessness when they go#until they clear the asteroid belt and the corps send in their private armies to re-establish order via gunfire#both the corps and the gangs know that you can make a hell of a lot of money during this period by doing standard shadowrun crime stuff#but one gang has really been cheesing your corp's onions and they don't know How so they send you to seduce your way in and find out#you pick one of the ROs as a likely mark in the prologue and then it skips forward almost a year to just before the planet goes dark again#so it's like. you still haven't figured it out but also you've been fake-dating this person for nearly a year#i just wanted to write something with. that kind of more complicated relationship dynamic of a longer-term relationship already in place#anyway naturally you get to decide in the end if you destroy the gang or betray your corporate masters lmfao#shadowrun *jazzhands*#i know i said i was keeping myself from pitching RO ideas but. one of them i already decided on is a butch lesbian with a shotgun#she's their driver and is covered in tattoos lmao#also there's a guy who's a spy from a Different corp#anyway yes. Sorry about this
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monstersflashlight · 4 months
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Monster in the dark
Demon x chubby fem!human || chasing, dub-con (almost cnc), breeding, cum play, tail play
There wasn’t anyone in the street. You knew you should have taken the longer path, it took you all around the neighborhood but at least it was always crowded with people shopping, talking, walking around... anything. There were always people there, but instead you choose the fucking short path, going through the less light part of the neighborhood. You hated the dark with passion, but you were in a hurry, your favorite show was about to start and you didn’t want to run into anyone and risk them stopping you.
But apparently you were out of luck. "Hey dude!" Someone called out. You didn’t turn around. You walked faster, trying to get to the end of the long street where at least the lightbulbs weren’t flickering. Your anxiety was spiking, your heartbeat so loud in your ears you were scared someone could sneak up on you. A shiver ran down your spine when a cold breeze blew past you. A bad feeling creeping out on you.
"Hey you! I need a little help!" You turned around trying to decipher if your possible attacker was close enough that you should run faster. You knew you shouldn’t have done that. It was scary movies 101 to never turn around when something was chasing you. But maybe they were hurt or something. Your big heart betrayed you. You turned around completely, but there wasn’t anybody in sight. Just empty space. Confused you kept walking, almost running, but not entirely.
“Hey darling! The one with the cute butt, I need some help!” They called. What? Your anxiety was through the roof. The lightbulbs started to flicker like crazy, some of them even exploding, engulfing the street in darkness. You screamed and started to run as fast as you could. Which wasn’t so fast.
You ran and ran, the street seeming longer than ever. You prayed to whoever was listening to let you make it. To let you run fast enough to get to your house. Then you heard something similar to a growl, a primal sound that made your blood run cold and your body fuel with a fear so profound that it made your insides twist.
"Caught you!" Someone said as you felt a hand closing down on your shoulder. "Why are you running?" You were scared to turn around, but the stranger made you twist your body either way. The sheer force in that one point of contact made your fly or fight response activated. "Don't worry, darling, I just wanna talk."
You turned around and saw nothing. Not a peep. But the hand on your shoulder was there. The voice was there. You could feel it. You could feel a presence there. What the actual fuck. Your heart was going to get out if it kept beating like that.
"Oh, shit, sorry! I forgot humans couldn't see me in this form." And right before your eyes a tall figure appeared. Just like that. There was nothing, and then there was a big as fuck man. So big you have to look up. And up. And up. Your neck hurt from looking at his face. "Better like this, right?" He asked, the black tendrils around his body shimmering as he smirked. His mouth was too big, too wide, he had so many teeth you couldn't even process it. And they were sharp, so fucking sharp. You shivered. "Oh, darling, don't be scared, I'm not gonna eat you." You thought he added maybe under his breath, but your heartbeat was deafening in your ears.
“Wh- what are you?” You got out, your body frozen in place.
“A poor demon who needs your help.” He told you, his face trying to mimic a grin, but contorting in a creepy way, making you shiver.
“With- With what?” You asked, your body sending all kinds of alert signals to your brain.
“With this…” He whispered as he pulled your body against his, his erection rubbing against your stomach. “I need a sweet human pussy to help me with this, and your luscious body looks delicious. Perfect to breed.” He answered, making your blood turn into ice. And your body started to respond, trying to fight his hold, unable to do it.
“No. Stop. Let me go!” You struggled against him, but his hold was too strong.
He turned you around, pressing his front against your back, black tendrils coming around you, caging you. They started to touch every part of you. The tendrils and his hands moving freely over your body, groping your tummy, your tits, your hips, your ass, rubbing your pussy… There wasn’t a centimeter of you that was left untouched by him. You tried to scream, but his hand covered your mouth. “Don’t do that, baby.” That pet name made something inside your brain react. Could it be?
You talked with your demon boyfriend about wanting to try some CNC a couple nights back. He didn’t react to what you said, just kept listening as you listed your personal kinks. But this couldn’t be him, could he? He was a demon, but you never saw him like this. You couldn’t know. Maybe it wasn’t him. Maybe you had a magnet for weird monsters who wanted to fuck you. Fuck. You couldn’t know. What if he wasn’t? What if this stranger fucked you and you realized later it wasn’t your boyfriend. What if a weird monster took advantage of you in the middle of a dark street?
You knew you should have taken the long path.
The anticipation and the fear mixed inside of you, making your stomach drop and your fight response kick in. You bit the hand around your mouth as hard as you could. The monster moaned and rubbed his hard cock against your back. It was so big, too big. There was no way that would fit inside of you.
He used his tendrils to manhandle you into the air, lifting you so his cock rested between your ass cheeks. Your feet didn’t touch the ground, you were completely suspended, at his mercy. You regretted putting on a dress this morning, making his advances so easy now. You felt the cool air hit your rear as he lifted the back of the dress, exposing your almost naked ass.
“Aw! Look at that, you are wearing the prettiest thong. I bet your boyfriend loves it, too bad he’s not going to fuck your pussy tonight. I am.” His voice went so low in tone that it sounded distorted, making your insides tingle. To your shame, making your pussy tingle, too.
He moved the thong aside, pushing two fingers in right away, his claws pointy, dangerous. Your walls contracted against his fingers. “Someone is excited…” You blushed so hard you could feel the blood in your cheeks. “You like it, don’t you? Of course you do, you are a proud monsterfucker, aren’t you? I saw you with that demon boyfriend you have…” He whispered against your ear. You shivered, feeling humiliated as you moaned when his fingers hit your G-spot. “You are so wet and so hot… I’m going to enjoy your slutty pussy.” He teased, a tendril flickering your clit harshly, making you cry out in pain and pleasure.
He didn’t wait, he didn’t care about you or your comfort. He pushed his dick inside of you in a fluid motion. As far as it could go. You could feel he wasn’t fully inside, his dick too big for your human pussy. But he didn’t seem to care about it. He started to fuck you hard and deep, hitting all your sensible places at once as his hands groped your tits over your dress, not caring if you screamed. Shame filled you as your pussy got wetter and wetter around his assault. You tried to struggle, but your forces bleed out every time he hit your G-spot. Fuck.
“Are you going to be a good breeding bitch for me? Are you going to keep fighting as I fill your pretty little cunt with my cum until it overflows?” You moaned, embarrassment filling you as your pussy pulsated around him. “You like that, don’t you? You try to fight but you are enjoying this. You are enjoying to have a monster’s cock deep inside of you.”
“N-no.” You choked out, the moan you let out after made your words pointless. He laughed harder, the movement of his body making his dick go a bit deeper.
“Yes, you do. You love to be a little human cum-dump for me. I bet you’d love if I fucked you harder.” He speeded up, setting a punishing pace that made a chorus of ah ah ah leave your mouth. He didn’t try to cover your mouth anymore, clearly enjoying the sounds you were letting out. You felt like the bitch he called you, enjoying as someone took advantage of you in the middle of the street. Anybody could come and see you there, exposed, being fucked by a monster, acting like his personal fleshlight. His cumdumpster.
“Prepare yourself slutty human, I’m going to cum so deep you are going to taste my cum.” His words were nasty, so dirty you wanted to say something, anything. But instead it made you moan, turning you into a mess.
And then you felt his cum hitting deep inside, so much of it you felt your lower abdomen bloating. “Look at that, you are so full… Poor little human, let me help.” He laughed cruelly, pushing against the bulge there, as cum gushed out of you, trying to escape around the cock still buried inside of you. Some of it came out, making the filthiest sound you ever heard, accompanying his laughter. He pulled out at that moment, his hand still on your abdomen, making a splosh sound as what felt like a river of come dripped down and hit the pavement under you. “So messy…” He chastised.
He lowered his hand, collecting some of his cum gushing out. He played with it, spreading it around your pussy, pushing some inside again. You groaned and moaned, his tendrils holding you in place as he played with your pussy like it was his personal toy. He took some of the cum and rubbed your clit with it, the most delicious friction taking you to the edge. It was dirty, so dirty… And then he took his hand away. You whimpered loudly and he laughed at your pathetic slutty act, slapping your pussy hard and making your eyes roll inside your head. You came, right there, right then. You screamed at the top of your lungs, his laughter fading into the background as your brain blacked out for a couple seconds.
You came back slowly. He lowered you to the ground, his front to your back and tendrils still around you. “Told you it would be fun!” His voice was back to his normal tone, making you relax, finally recognized your stupid boyfriend’s voice. He never showed his full demon form, just giving you glimpses of it through the months you dated. It came in handy for him today, you guessed, anger rising inside of you.
“You didn’t say you were going to use your fully transformed form. You scared the crap out of me, you ass!” You yelled back at him, your eyes still teary and your voice raw after the screaming marathon you just had.
“Hey! Don’t lie to me, you like my ass. And I definitely love yours…” He smirked, his hand groping your ass. He kneaded your ass cheeks like he was making bread, chuckling when you tried to pull away. You knew you were going to have some pretty nasty bruises the next day. He would love that. To have you all marked.
“I hate you.” You whispered, trying hard not to moan as he pulled on your thong’s string, the fabric rubbing your asshole and abused pussy in the best possible way.
“Aww, baby, don’t be like that.” He said softly, placating. His lips trailing kisses along your neck. “But you looked so good running away from me, I couldn’t let the opportunity pass. Also, your booty moves so nicely when you run, and your tits were bouncing like you were an anime girl.” You didn’t need to look at his face to know he was smirking like a madman.
“You are nasty.” You told him, reaching back and grabbing his balls, hard. He just moaned. You knew he liked the pain.
“You love when I’m nasty.” He teased you. He was right, you couldn’t deny that. “Can I fuck your asshole next?” He mumbled, rubbing his still hard dick against your back. You looked over your shoulder at him, trying to decipher if he was kidding. He wasn’t.
“You give me the scare of my life!” You repeated, mad at him for being so heartless, but deep down loving how shameful he was.
He didn’t look guilty at all. “You came either way. You loved to be my prey, didn’t you baby?” He teased, tendrils coming around your body to hold you tight against his embrace. You mumbled about how mad you were, not really meaning it. “Does that mean I can’t bend you down and fuck your ass?” He asked again in a pouty voice. You hesitated, and he took that as an invitation to move your thong to the side again, teasing your asshole. He pushed his traveling tail up your hole, circling it. You tried to push him away, but he just laughed and moved it to collect some of the mixture of his seed and your juices. He used it as lube as he pushed the pointed tip inside you, making you moan. “There she is, my lovely slutty girlfriend.”
“Take me home first, at least.” You told him, already giving in to the pleasure you could feel building for him pushing his tail in an out, just the tip, but it was enough to make your pussy tingle all over again. His cum was still coming out of you. He always came in what felt like buckets.
“But I don’t wanna wait!” He complained, fucking you faster and holding your hips flush against his body. You pushed back, making his tail go deeper, his laughter almost cruel.
“Don’t be a brat. Take me home.” You choked out, already feeling the signs of an orgasm building. You didn’t want to be caught, and you already pushed your luck too far tonight.
“Can I fuck all your holes if I take you home?” He tried to negotiate.
“Ugh, fine.” You tried to fake the annoyance, but you knew he saw right past your facade. Who were you trying to lie? You loved when he was so shameless, you loved when he used all of your holes as you were nothing more than a human fleshlight for him. And specially, you loved when he used his prehensile tail to fuck your ass as he pushed his dick inside your pussy. Fuck. You were so close.
He lifted you up and carried you home, his tail still fucking your hole sloppily all they way there, bouncing you over him and staring at your tits.
You came two more times before you reached your bed.
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kirain · 7 months
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Yeah, playing into the Dark Urge is evil and all, but I don't think it truly beats the pure, sadistic, unadulterated evil of playing as a morally good character throughout the entire game, only to shift at the end. Just picture it. The entire time you've convinced everyone around you that you're a genuinely kind, helpful, and loving person. You're dependable. You're empathetic and go out of your way to listen to people's worries. In a Dark Urge run, you lose Karlach and Wyll, potentially Gale; if you don't threaten him into staying, and Selûnite Shadowheart. By the time you finish Act 1, everyone knows exactly what type of person you are. You're a monster and you like it. Every terrible action you take is expected. No one's surprised. Some even enjoy it. But just imagine you fool everyone. Imagine you save Astarion from Cazador and break his cycle of abuse. Imagine you help Karlach slay Gortash and give her hope for the future. Imagine you convince Shadowheart to reject Shar and reunite with her parents. Imagine you show Lae'zel the truth behind her queen and encourage her to rebel. Imagine you talk Gale into giving up his ambitions and soothe his insecurities. Imagine you break Wyll's contract with Mizora and save his father. You become the one person they can rely on. You make them feel heard. Cared for. Safe. Then, at the end of your wondrous journey, you betray them. You reveal your true intentions, which was to take control of the brain all along. There were no warning signs. No indication that you could ever do something so vile and wicked. You hid your desires well. All that intimacy and compassion was nothing more than a set up for your own twisted amusement. You've wanted to hurt them from the start—and you do. You smile as you take control of their minds, sensing their pain, sorrow, and fear. You feel their skin crawl. You feel their hearts shatter as they realise what you've done. Why? How could you? They trusted you.
The Dark Urge has nothing on that.
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juleswritesstuff · 3 months
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Just Theo losing his mind over a tiny, little dress
theo nott x fem!reader
warnings: smut (this one's filthy, y'all)
The music blasting through the Slytherin common room was not only filling your ears, but your whole body too.
It was running through your veins, every muscle and nerve consumed by the slow rhythm of the bass.
You were moving to the beat without a care in the world, lost in the flow, surrounded by warm bodies moving along the same melody.
Until a pair of hands found place on your hips, a presence making itself known behind you as your back collided with his chest.
You would've recognized that scent everywhere.
A smirk grew on your lips.
Bingo.
“Are you trying to kill me, bambolina ?” his smooth voice reached your ears through the loud banging of some song you didn't quite recognize. (babydoll)
His hands were scorching hot on your hips, feeling them through the flimsy fabric of your dress.
The way they wanted to touch, to feel, to own.
The grin on your lips widened.
Oh, he was so easy to tease.
You turned around, meeting his eyes.
Their usual sky blue had become deeper, a storm in full swing.
They were dark, hungry, and yet you could still find that glint of cockiness that never left his gaze.
Theodore Nott was as beautiful as he was devilish.
Good thing you knew how to take him.
Metaphorically and physically speaking.
“Don't know what you're talking about” you said, swaying your hips to the sultry rhythm and morphing your expression to one of fake cluelessness.
“Really ? I'm pretty sure you do” the grin on his face was teasing but you could see the light clench of his jaw.
Trying to keep it cool, to keep control.
Unfortunately for him his eyes scanning every inch of your body betrayed him and his illusion of a collected behavior.
“You don't like my dress ?” you asked, getting closer and circling his neck with your arms.
His hands were on your back, traveling up and down, tracing your skin through the fabric, memorizing every nook and curve of your body.
A shiver ran down your spine as he pulled you closer to him, chest to chest.
“You have the nerve to ask me that ?” he uttered, cocking an eyebrow in disbelief.
A chuckle left your lips.
“You sound so affronted, Nott” your hand slipped through his hair, combing them lightly while your bodies kept swaying to the music.
He closed his eyes in bliss, feeling your gentle fingers brush through his brown locks.
And then you pulled.
A bit harsher, a bit rougher.
Exactly how he liked it.
Theo groaned, his eyes snapping open as the grip on your hips became tighter. 
His forehead touched yours as he leaned closer and closer.
“Oh, you want to play with fire I see” he breathed mere inches away from your lips.
“Maybe I do” you grinned, your tone challenging.
“And what happened to ‘I wouldn't touch you even if you were the last man on earth’, dolcezza ?” he asked teasingly, leaning forward to whisper in your ear. (sweety)
Your cheeks warmed up the slightest bit.
Yes, you and Theo hadn’t started off in the best of ways.
But things changed.
Especially after the most completely unexpected and undoubtedly best fuck of your life, courtesy of a very heated arguement between the two of you that ended with him buried deep inside of you while you basically chanted his name like a prayer.
You wished you could say it was a one time thing, a mistake.
But it wasn’t.
Because soon you found out that no one made you feel better than him.
Your body craved his touch, you couldn't help it.
“Well, I didn't know the wonders that your mouth and your cock were capable of at the time, can you really blame me ?” you asked back, lifting an eyebrow.
“So that's why you chose the tiniest, sexiest dress you own ? Cause you wanted to get your guts rearranged ?” he teased with a shit-eating smirk.
“Who knows” you shrugged your shoulders as a smug smile grew on your lips.
He huffed a laugh, shaking his head.
“You'll be the death of me, bambolina” he mouthed right on your lips before leaning in. (babydoll)
And fuck that felt both like heaven and hell.
His mouth was soft and rough at the same time.
Hungry, needy, pure fire that was consuming you.
The taste of nicotine and alcohol mixed with a sweetness that you couldn't quite pinpoint, but it was there.  And it was addicting.
You wanted more.
You always wanted more when Theo was involved.
His tongue teased yours, playing his dirty little games.
Your mind went blank.
“Your room or mine ?” you asked, millimeters away from his lips.
“Whichever is the closest, I don't care” he said hurriedly “Non vedo l'ora di strapparti questo cazzo di vestito di dosso” (I can't wait to rip this fucking dress off of you)
You didn't understand a single thing of the Italian coming out of his mouth as he was busy leaving a trail of eager kisses down your neck, going so slow that your brain started to melt.
You had no idea of how you managed to arrive at your dorm, too engrossed in the feeling of having him so close to you.
But now there you were.
The door closed with a click, and after a second you felt him everywhere.
His hands in your hair, on your face, your neck, hips, thighs.
Fucking everywhere.
Your back collided with the wall as he kissed you like he needed air and you were pure oxygen filling his lungs.
“You’re a vixen, you know that ?” he whispered “making me lose my fucking mind moving your hips like that” 
His lips were still on yours, his hands kneading the plush skin of your ass, making you hiss in pleasure.
“Didn’t know I only needed a dress to make you go ballistic, Nott” you muttered with a chuckle as he decorated your throat with slow, wet kisses. 
“I couldn’t give less than a shit about the dress, Y/n. You are the one making me go fucking feral, not this stupid piece of fabric” he groaned against your skin.
“Then rip it the fuck off of me, why don’t you ?” you said, whimpers leaving your mouth as Theo found the most sensitive spot on your neck, starting to tease it with his tongue, his teeth and that sinful mouth of his.
You felt his smirk right on your skin.
“As you wish, bambolina”
 In a heartbeat you heard cloth being torn, shredded to pieces.
The air suddenly hitting your skin made goosebumps appear all over your body.
Your eyes snapped to his.
The fire in them almost burned you, matching your own.
Lust and hunger filled every cell of your being, seeing the poor dress resting in pieces on the floor.
Because Theo had literally ripped it off.
You didn’t think this man could get any hotter.
Guessed you were fucking wrong.
“Cazzo, sei una visione Y/n'' he whispered breathlessly. (Fuck, you're a vision Y/n)
His eyes ran all over your figure, taking in every curve, every inch of your body, imprinting it in his memory forever.
Then he began his journey of torture.
He started with his lips on yours, nibbling and sucking slowly, seductively, proceeding along your jaw, traveling down and reaching your neck, kissing the skin that was already turning a dark red from his previous attentions.
He stopped briefly at your shoulder, delicately removing your bra as the pads of his fingers brushed your skin tenderly.
He left his marks all over you.
On your shoulder, your collarbones, on your breasts teasing your sensitive nipples with his tongue before sucking gently, grazing them with his teeth and sending bolts of electricity throughout your entire body.
His lips were soft, but they left a burning path everywhere they touched.
Moans and whimper left your mouth with each and every caress of his skin on yours.
He kept giving attention to every single centimeter of your figure, going down and down until he sank on his knees.
The sight of him kneeling in front of you with that deep, dark look in his eyes turned you on like nothing ever did before.
“This might be my favorite angle of you, you know ?” you confessed, your fingers combing through his brown waves.
You felt him grin against your hip bone, kissing it right after.
“Is it ?” his tone was teasing, playful, as he traced your skin with his lips “when I’m on my knees ?” another kiss lingered on your hip “right at your mercy ?” 
“Shit- yeah” you choked out a whimper as his mouth got closer and closer to your core.
The grip on his hair tightened and he let out a deep moan.
“Well, that’s good to know, princess” he said simply “cause this is my favorite place to be. Right between your thighs” and then he left a soft kiss directly on your clothed heat before sliding your panties down your legs.
A needy moan escaped your lips before you could stop it.
“You're perfect. You're so fucking perfect” he whispered in awe, completely drunk on the sight of your naked body.
“Theo…” you whined.
“Yes, baby ?” 
Fuck, that word made your stomach churn in the best way possible.
“Just fucking get to it” you said urgently.
A cocky smile appeared on his face as he started to slowly get up, placing kisses here and there, making his journey back to your lips.
You whined, missing the feeling of his mouth lingering on your most sensitive spot.
“You’re needy” he whispered in your ear, making you shiver.
“You’re torturing me” you bit back, breathless and impertinent.
“Oh, so you can tease me in front of our whole House, but I can’t have my little fun when it’s just us ? Seems a bit unfair, tesoro” he mocked you lightheartedly with the most irritatingly hot smirk. (darling)
“Wipe that smug little smile off your face Nott, I can't stand it” you said, the annoyance in your tone as clear as the lust in it, too.
“Can’t stand it ?” he asked sensually, his breath tickling your ear before looking you in the eyes with that sinful grin that made you go feral “then why don’t you fucking sit on it, bambolina” 
His gaze was dark, the blue of his eyes completely swallowed up by blackness.
The breath got knocked out of your lungs.
Hot liquid desire filled your veins.
Your entire body was consumed by him, every single cell screaming his name.
And who were you not to listen ?
“Lay down then” you said with a devilish grin, pushing him backwards until his knees hit the bed frame, forcing him to sit down.
You wasted no time and straddled his hips, your naked body flashed aginst his still clothed one.
“Fucking hell” he mumbled on your mouth as you dived in to kiss him hungrily, tongue brushing his in a filthy dance.
His hands gripped your lower back so tightly you were sure there would’ve been bruises in the shape of his handprints the following day.
And you couldn’t wait to fucking see them.
 “Something wrong, pretty boy ?” you taunted, coating his neck with kisses, swiping your tongue over the skin and making him groan in pleasure.
“I have you naked on my lap, Y/n, nothing could be more right” he said, looking at you directly in the eyes with a smile and his usual cocky attitude.
“Why don’t you take off some clothes too, mh ? Preferably all of them” you muttered, breaths away from his lips.
“Get rid of them, then” he answered you with a challenging glint in his deep blue eyes, and a sardonic smile.
You smirked, fisting both sides of his shirt and pulling harshly.
Buttons flew everywhere as you ripped the shirt open, finally exposing his perfectly chiseled chest to your eyes.
Your hands ran all over his torso, tracing every hard and soft surface with fleeting touches.
God, Quidditch practice really had its benefits.
“Now we’re even” you said, kissing his lips again, referring to the dress he had shredded to pieces not too long ago.
Then your fingers traveled down, reaching the hem of his pants and brushing his half hard cock playfully through the fabric.
He hissed in pleasure, but as soon as you tried to unbutton them he stopped you.
“That can wait, baby. I need to taste you first” he purred in your ear before laying down completely, his back colliding with the soft mattress of your bed.
“Impatient, are we ?” you mocked him lightheartedly, but as soon as you felt his hands on lower back, massaging the soft skin, urging you to crawl on his body and come closer until your core was right in front of him, glistening with desire, the smile on your face was replaced by a moan.
“When it comes to you ? Always” he smiled, leaving a trail of steamy, open mouthed kisses on the tender skin of your inner thighs.
A pathetic sob left your throat.
He was going so achingly slow you were starting to lose your goddamn mind.
“Seems to me that you’re taking your sweet fucking time, instead” you snapped impetuously.
He was teasing you mercilessly, and you couldn’t stand it.
“I’ll take all the time I need if it means that I get to see you being a needy mess before my tongue even touches you” he sneered against your skin, mouth getting closer and closer to where you needed it the most, but never close enough.
“Theo, please” you cried as your hands swiped through his brown locks, spread on the pillow like a halo, eliciting him to do something, anything to give you at least some sweet relief.
“Sei così bella, cazzo” he whispered as his eyes shined with an earnestness that you had never seen in them “e sei tutta per me”. (You're so beautiful, fuck)(and you're all mine)
And then finally, finally he stuck his tongue out dragging it over your folds to get a long awaited taste.
The groan that came out of his mouth sent delicious vibrations to your clit, making your whole body squirm.
“Oh fuck” you moaned as he started to devour you messily.
He ate you out like he had been starving for weeks and you were his first meal, like he was born for it and his place was right there, between your legs.
He licked and kissed and sucked all over your sensitive core, pleasuring you like no one else ever could, making you feel everything.
You writhed above him. 
Loud, shaky whines left your lips as he made out with your cunt shamelessly and sloppy, coating his face with your essence and feasting hungrily.
When his lips wrapped around your clit you whailed.
The whole castle probably heared you even through the music of the party that was taking place downstairs, but you couldn’t care less.
Because Theo was beneath you, eating you out so perfectly and filthily that all you could think about was his mouth on you.
“So sweet. You taste so sweet, Y/n” he said right against your throbbing core, making you shiver. Your hands on his hair tightened their grip, using it as leverage to move your hips back and forth faster, desperately.
“Theo- shit, baby-” you couldn’t even talk.
You were close.
You were so close that you felt the familiar tension building up, ready to explode.
And apparently he did too, because his mouth started to work faster, licking and lapping at an unforgiving pace.
“Go ahead, baby. Make a mess on my face” he wrapped his lips around your clit one more time and he sucked, sending you over the edge.
The coil in your tummy snapped, your vision turning white as waves of pleasure washed all over you, making your ears ring and your eyes roll back in ecstasy.
The moans coming out of your mouth were dirty, raw.
The movement of your hips slowed down as Theo kept dragging his tongue over your folds slowly, carefully, licking you clean and paying attention not to overstimulate you, but not letting even one single drop of your sweet essence go to waste.
Once you got down from your high and your brain started to regain its ability to form coherent words you shifted your gaze downwards, finding Theo looking at you while his hands caressed your legs tenderly.
“There you are. I thought I broke you for a second” he smiled, teasing lightheartedly.
You huffed a sneer as you crawled backwards with shaky legs, going back to straddle his hips rather than his face.
“Don't get too confident, Nott. It's not a good look” you bit back with a smile that matched his.
A chuckle left his lips as he lifted his torso to sit up, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him.
He kissed you softly, delicately, making your stomach flip.
“Everything ok ?” he asked on your lips while he tucked a rogue strand of hair behind your ear, stroking your cheekbone with the pad of his thumb.
And there it was, the thing that made you so confused about Theodore Nott.
It was in moments like these when you forgot that the guy in front of you, who gave you the best head of your life and was an actual fucking excellent lover was the same guy you used to have daily insulting sessions with.
Muggles had a saying, you heard.
‘There's a thin line between hate and love’
And you were sure that that line had been all kinds of blurry since Theo had put his lips on you for the first time.
Or, maybe, even before.
You didn't want to think about it. 
The possibilities of that revelation being true made your stomach knot up.
So you put them to the side, and focused back on him.
“Yes” you answered, your fingers buried in the hair at the base of his neck, massaging reassuringly “I’m ok. More than ok, even” 
“How about your legs ?” he asked, placing soft kisses on your shoulder.
“Is this some new way to ask me if I still have some remaining strength to ride you ?” you teased, narrowing your eyes mischievously.
“Would you believe me if I said it isn't ?” he questioned playfully, lifting an eyebrow and tightening his embrace on you.
“Not really, no” you said unconvinced, your face opened up in a smile.
“Guessed so” he shook his head in amusement, his eyes glinting in the dim light of your room.
“Unfortunately for you my legs are sore, so no riding” you admitted, your smile turning smug “but that doesn't mean that you can't fuck me in any other position know to man”
His hands on your hips tightened their grip.
“Is that so ?” he taunted, his eyes turning hungry again, the fire in them reaching the deepest parts of your soul “then tell me bambolina, how would you like me to take you apart tonight ?” 
“However you want” you smirked, leaning in to kiss him again, swiping your tongue on his lower lip before biting the plump skin provocatively “go ahead pretty boy, make me cry on your cock”
His eyes got impossibly darker, hungrier.
Ravenous.
“Then get on all fours for me, princess” he rumbled lowly, looking at you like he wanted to devour you whole.
You wasted no time as you kept your mouth glued to his, getting off his lap and flipping your positions. You crawled backwards a little, Theo following you as he chased your lips until you were completely laying down with him above you.
His hands caressed your hips, moving down to trace the skin of your thigh, making goosebumps appear all over your body.
Your fingers traveled everywhere, feeling the heated skin against your pads. 
They caressed his chest, his shoulders, his back, until they reached the hem of his pants, unbuttoning them with a swift move.
“Impatient, are we ?” he teased you, using your own words against you.
His lips latched to your neck, one hand on the mattress holding his weight and the other sliding his trousers down together with his underwear.
“Less talking and more undressing, Nott” you urged as your hands went to his hair, massaging his scalp, making him groan.
He pulled away from you just enough to take away his pants completely, leaving him naked.
Your eyes took in his perfectly sculpted lean body, and you clenched your legs unconsciously at the sight of his hard cock.
He didn't say anything to you eyeing him up like you wanted to swallow him whole, he just smirked.
But the look in his eyes told you that he knew every naughty little thought you were having in that moment.
Your cheeks heated up, and you turned around facing the mattress propped up on your elbows, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing you that flustered.
You had seen him naked countless times, and yet his body still had that maddening effect on you.
The bed dipped with every move he made, getting closer to you again, until you felt his breath on your ear, chuckling.
“Going shy on me now, tesoro ?” he asked playfully, leaving a kiss on that sensitive spot that made you squirm. (darling)
“Shut up” you said weakly, completely overwhelmed by the feeling of his mouth leaving a path of steamy kisses along your back, causing your whole body to shiver in pleasure.
He stopped right over the little dimples on your lower back, kissing them tenderly.
“Ready ?” he asked to make sure.
You didn't answer him, you just lifted your ass up, bending your knees and arching your back in the most sinful way you could master.
“Ready” you confirmed with a smug smile, hearing him groan in pleasure.
You turned your head a little, enough to see him stroking his cock at the sight of your exposed cunt, right at his mercy.
“You and your perfect body will be the death of me” you hear him whisper before feeling his hands on your ass.
His tip teasing your entrance made you moan pathetically.
He went slow, so achingly slow that you wanted to cry, feeling him burying himself deeper and deeper inside of you, inch by inch.
Until he bottomed out completely, head to base, filling you up so good that you wanted to scream.
“Fuck-” you moaned “fuck, fuck, fuck” broken sobs left your lips as you felt him throbbing inside of you.
“Shit- baby, you're tight” he said through gritted teeth, feeling your warmth around him and trying so hard not to cum on the spot, hearing all the filthy sounds you were making.
“Move” you practically begged “Theo, please. Just move” 
As soon as the words left your mouth his hips started to thrust, setting a slow and steady pace, making you adjust to his size without hurting you.
The head of his cock brushed your cervix with every prod, sending bolts of electricity to every nerve of your body.
But it wasn't enough.
You wanted more.
You needed more.
“Harder” you blurted, half begging and half demanding “I'm not gonna break, Theo. Fuck me. Harder” 
Not a word left his mouth, but suddenly you saw stars.
His hips snapped ruthlessly inside of you, knocking the air out of your lungs, making you scream his name.
You buried your face in the pillows, trying to muffle the sound of your wails.
But then you felt Theo’s chest colliding with your back and his arms around your torso, pulling your upper body up with him while he still fucked into you mercilessly.
“Voglio sentirti” he whispered in your ear, breath rugged and broken by the intensity of his hips plunging inside of you “voglio che l'intero cazzo di castello sappia chi è che ti scopa così bene” (I want to hear you)(I want the whole castle to know who's fucking you this good)
You didn't understand a single word coming out of his mouth, but you knew it had nothing to do with the language he was using and everything to do with his cock splitting you in half.
Your body was on fire, every muscle and nerve consumed by pleasure, corroded by lust.
You were close again.
Your arm reached behind you, pulling Theo’s head closer.
The position was awkward, making the kiss even more filthy, a mess of tongues and teeth.
“God- Theo, I'm close” you moaned against his mouth.
One hand holding your body flashed against his, the other going to tease your clit with slender fingers.
You were right there, his fingers drawing circles on that little bundle of nerves faster and faster.
“Cum for me, bambolina” was what he whispered in your ear, his breath tickling your skin as your orgasm hit you.
The world stopped, every single thing ceased to exist except for the exploding pleasure in your veins and the feeling of Theo’s heated and sweaty skin on yours.
The clench of your cunt squeezing his cock sent him over the edge too, painting your walls white while a strangled moan escaped his lips.
Getting down from your high you collapsed on the bed.
With your breath labored and short, your body numb and your head in the clouds you placed your head on Theo's chest as his arm wrapped around you.
Was it weird to cuddle with the guy who used to get on your nerves more than anything else ? Most definitely.
Was it also weird to fuck said guy and wanting to sometime still punch his ridiculously handsome face at the same time ? Absolutely.
Did you care ? Not one bit.
“You owe me a shirt” he blurted out after his breath turned back to normal again, stroking your hair absent-mindedly.
“You owe me a dress” you retorted back, feeling his heartbeat slowing down right under your ear.
“Shopping at Hogsmeade next weekend ?” he asked nonchalantly, like he hadn't just dropped a bomb on you.
Your eyes widened beyond measure.
“Pardon ?” your voice went several tones higher than usual, in complete disbelief from the words that had just reached your ears.
“Calm down, bambolina. No need to get all flustered” he chuckled, but rather than mocking it seemed endeared “you'll buy me a new shirt and I'll buy you a new dress. Deal ?” 
You had no idea what to answer.
But in the end you accepted.
“Deal” 
What could go wrong anyway ?
He lives in my mind rent free, I can't help it.
Hope you enjoyed 💗
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butchwheels · 10 months
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i think more neurodivergent people should practice saying "hey please only say yes to me infodumping to you about my favorite things when you have the emotional capacity for it, don't force yourself to or it defeats the purpose and if you hide it you'll grow resentment unnecessarily and if i ever find out i'll feel incredibly betrayed" to loved ones, even if they also are autistic/adhd/etc. it is an important boundary that is in OUR control and would radically change our sense of trust with others. we can be authentic AND build trust if we communicate effectively with other people
this can also apply to passionate ppl in general, and to their loved ones who think that making a martyr of themself so their loved one can ramble to them beyond what's comfortable makes them a better partner. it actually often does not. the only way we can learn to trust that you actually want to listen to us when we ask is when you say no sometimes too. otherwise we'll go into a guilt loop everytime, bc we don't have the data to prove that you would tell us if it was too much. i think even without neurodivergency being involved ppl are likely to martyrize themselves for their loved ones not realizing that being a martyr AT ALL will ALWAYS backfire at your loved ones. it never just affects you, and it always impedes genuine connection and trust. even i have been guilty of letting my autistic friends ramble at me until i was exhausted, and then straining beyond that bc it felt too rude to tell them, even when it was negatively affecting our emotional connection on my end. but communication is key, folks. it's a hard habit to learn but one we all must learn, and both sides need to do it
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stars-in-a-jam-jar · 5 months
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I don't think Buddy asks Helio any questions.
Kristen asked 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' because she believed in all the good things she was taught, but noticed the strange disconnect between the world as it was and the world as it was taught to her. So she thought, surely, if I can't come up with the answer, Helio will have it. And she hates him for dodging her question.
Buddy is far more deluded than Kristen ever was. And he is far, far angrier inside as a result, even if he deliberately conceals this fact from himself to protect himself from the inevitable mental breakdown this would cause. Buddy is not as altruistic and giving and caring as Kristen is. He wouldn't question why he was betrayed or dig into a question like 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' Those aren't the answers he needs, because of course he'd be betrayed by someone outside the church, that makes perfect sense. Of course bad things happen to good people, we simply live in a fallen world.
Or, well. He used to live in a fallen world. Now he's dead here. In Helio's divine domain.
I think Buddy, as he wanders through fields of corn to the big farmhouse where Helio is chilling out, privately thinks about the fact that Kristen Applebees' horrified expression was the last thing he ever saw before a sharp pain in his throat. I think Buddy assumes Helio knows he's thinking this and apologizes for bringing thoughts like that into paradise. I think he thanks Helio for recognizing his devotion and bringing him here once he died and dutifully deceives himself about his own rising emotions at contending with the fact that he's dead now.
After all, he was raised to die. He was raised to want to die.
To want to be here with his god whenever it was he called Buddy to him. So he doesn't feel upset, no, of course not. He's just a little surprised at how sudden it was. (How completely random. How unceremonious and unfair.) He's a little bit worried how his grandparents would react to the news is all. (He cracks a joke that maybe he'll see them here shortly after they do get the news. He doesn't laugh at it.) He had his own plans for how he'd spread the good word in life, but of course, Helio had other plans. (Nothing Buddy ever wanted really mattered. He knew that, he knew the will of Helio was the real thing that mattered, and everything else was just a small list of preapproved extracurriculars in the syllabus of his life.)
He can't be upset about this.
He shouldn't be upset about this.
This is his reward.
This place and these people and this god are his reward for a life of service and devotion and walking in the light.
It's not his place to be upset about his own reward. Kristen got upset when she went to heaven, when she met Helio, and look where that got her.
Look... look where that got her.
He thinks he hates her. For looking at him like that. All the ways she looked at him. Like he was something pitiful and contemptible. Someone she needed to threaten away from her little brother. Someone she has to double and triple check if he's going to revive her when he's under magical oath to do just that or lose his connection to a divinity she threw away after being chosen.
And then. In that last moment, she looked at him and he saw grief and horror and caring. Like his death was awful and unfair and tragic.
And he thinks maybe he hates her for that. For challenging him every conversation they had and looking at him like she knew something he didn't. Like she was above him. Like killing your own god twice in life is a preferable fate to living for the promise of eternal sunlight and cornbread in death. A promise which was kept to him.
Kristen was promised to Helio, too.
And he can't unsee her face. He can't move along and focus on what truly matters (Helio, the church, spreading the word, doling out divine punishment when needed) because he's reached the end. There is nothing left. Only this bright sunny cornfield and a god who... is nice. And who cares about him, personally. He got Buddy's name wrong the first and only time they held audience.
He thinks he hates Kristen, and he hates that that hatred isn't immediately squashed out of his soul just by being here. In paradise. Where he belongs. Where every follower of Helio belongs. Where he never has to have anyone look at him the way Kristen did ever again.
I don't think Buddy Dawn asks Helio any questions. Because how do you ask the god you devoted every waking minute of your life to, 'Why do I hate it here? Why does this feel like hell?'
(There's a part 2 now that the next ep is out >:3)
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