#but i don’t think she’ll pass up on it at all; she’s made it clear that feyre is THAT girl in acosf

[sanatomis]

⋆.ೃ࿔* ── 𝐃𝐈𝐘-𝐃𝐀𝐃!

it’s career day, and megumi has to bring his dad to school so he can tell the class about his job. the problem? he only has a 20-year-old sorcerer-guardian who has the brain capacity of a walnut.

content. canon divergence (suguru’s alive and studying to be a kindergarten teacher), possible ooc characters, female!reader.

notes. guys i’m a sucker for satoru who really, really tries and isn’t just a goofy man-child ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ also ! thank you all for your patience, it took me a while to finish this piece bc of uni, so i'm vv happy it's finally done <3

taglist. | masterlist.

“I don’t have a dad.” 

As cruel as it may be, a part of Megumi hopes that the sentence makes his teacher greatly uncomfortable. Demanding for a father to attend a Career Day at school simply isn’t fair to children without one—or, well, to the child without one. It’s not his fault his father hauled ass and left, so why is she making this so difficult for him? 

“Oh,” she mumbles. It seems his arrow hit the target, as her eyebrows pull together in a frown and she shifts her weight between her feet. “Well, you, uh, have a male guardian, don’t you?”

Megumi grimaces. Instantly, he thinks back to last week. Satoru Gojo, self-proclaimed strongest, had hit his head on a kitchen cabinet. With a dramatic pout and an overexaggerated wobble to his lips, he clung to you for hours. Some affection will make it all better!

Of course, when Megumi criticised his skills surrounding his infinity technique—because, really, how couldn’t it block a simple cabinet—the sorcerer opted to ignore him. He suspects there was some foul play at hand. 

“Barely,” he mutters, as the memory resurfaces. 

His teacher lets out a startled hum. “I’m sorry?”

“Nothing,” Megumi says quickly. He watches as she starts typing on her computer, and the realisation that she’s probably currently taking a look at his file isn’t a particularly welcome one. “What about my other guardian? Can I bring her, instead?”

“This event is geared towards fathers,” she explains. It’s obvious she forgot her reading glasses today, Megumi thinks, as she needs to narrow her eyes to read the screen in front of her. “I have one Satoru Gojo noted down as your male guardian. Surely, he will be able to attend.” 

Megumi pauses. He blinks up at her expressionlessly, and fights off the urge to push his teacher down a well. You often preach about being kind to others, and that wouldn’t be very kind. 

“Can’t I take my oth—”

“I’m afraid not,” she interrupts him before he even gets the sentence out. It irks him. Megumi isn’t fond of speaking to begin with, so when he does, he’d prefer not to be cut off halfway through. “An exception will not be made. Please, make sure to bring Gojo-san to school.” 

Megumi briefly, and for the very first time ever, mourns the fact that you and Satoru weren’t married. A small part of him calls the man a coward for not asking you to. If he’d simply taken the step, then Megumi would be able to pass you off as Gojo-san. Unfortunately, he can’t, and it’s becoming increasingly clear that there’s no way around this problem. 

“Fine,” he grumbles. It takes all of his remaining willpower to not stomp out of the classroom. Once again, he thinks of you. It’d be extremely bad manners. He can’t find it in himself to wish his teacher a nice day this time, though, and so she’ll have to make due with a slightly less polite Megumi for today. 

There’s nothing he can do about it. Satoru will have to come to the school. 

Megumi suddenly despises the idea of Career Day. 

“I need you to come to my school next week.” 

Immediately, all chatter around the dining table stops. For once, Megumi finds himself annoyed at the sudden appearance of silence. Before he said it, he knew his words would most likely have such an effect—he just didn’t expect it to be so instant. 

He tries his best to feign nonchalance, as if the topic that’s coming up didn’t make him feel stressed-out beyond belief. The confused, startled glances you and Satoru share don’t do much to help him, either. Perhaps it’s because Megumi is looking straight at him; him instead of you. Yeah, Satoru, he isn’t a fan of it, either. 

“Me?” The man asks then, and Megumi has to resist the urge to say, ‘no, I meant the snail in the backyard—yes, you,’ in the most sarcastic voice he can muster up. Satoru once again steals a look at you, ever so oblivious to Megumi's mental remarks. “Don’t you mean—” 

“I don’t,” Megumi cuts him off solemnly. His lips are pursed shut, and he pokes the slices of pork belly in his bowl with his chopsticks. One didn’t need to be of particularly high intelligence to notice the boy’s displeasure.  “I have to bring a male figure for Career Day.” 

It’s slow, the morphing of Satoru’s face, but it happens gradually and doesn’t stop until he’s positively beaming. Megumi doesn’t like it one bit. Nothing good happens when he looks like that, and he’s quite sure that all that will spew out of his mouth in a few seconds will be nothing except for pure nonsense. 

“Well, luckily, I will have the day off, then!” Satoru chimes, with a smile so wide it causes two dimples to appear on his cheeks. You copy his smile, and gently go to poke the little dent in his skin—Satoru lets you, as he always does. Megumi would think of it as cute if he weren’t so annoyed. “I will be there.” 

It seems he was right. Satoru’s words are pure nonsense.

“I didn’t tell you when,” he comments dryly. 

The sorcerer blinks. His smile is still on his face, but it’s fading, and the dimples do so with it. Your hand hovers halfway in the air, stuck with nothing to poke, and you slowly bring it back down to your side. It seems neither of you had taken time to think about that small fact—Megumi blames Satoru for dragging you down with him; him and those indentations in his cheek that you always seem to coo over. 

“Oh,” Satoru mumbles. A crease between his brows forms as his brain hurries to catch up with the newfound information. A few seconds pass, and then the previous bravado returns. “Well, it doesn’t matter! I can take the day off. When do you need me? Tell me, and I’ll be there.” 

Megumi very much doubts he can take days off all willy-nilly like that, especially after he pushed his workload onto someone else to attend his science fair last time, but then again, what does he know? If Satoru didn’t care about the consequences of his actions, then Megumi wasn’t about to break his own head doing so, either. 

“Next Friday,” he mumbles. From the tone of his voice, it’s quite clear that he’d rather be saying anything else. “We have to leave at eight a.m., please, be on time.”

“Sure thing!” Satoru chimes, and with that, Megumi thinks the dreaded conversation has finally come to an end. 

All in all—it could’ve gone worse. At least Satoru didn’t prolong it unnecessarily. Nor did he add a bunch of relentless teasing. He glances at the sorcerer. Satoru is happily munching on the dinner you’d prepared, both his cheeks stuffed full with entirely too much rice. It’s unbecoming, and a reflection of his poor manners, Megumi thinks, and he doesn’t understand how you look at the man with such hearts in your eyes. 

Though, your more than adequate cooking seems to have saved him from one of Satoru’s onslaughts. He’s grateful. Even if he doesn’t particularly enjoy the sight in front of him. 

“Hey, ‘toru?” You ask, breaking the silence with a slight hesitation to your voice. It nearly sounds nervous, and both Megumi and Tsumiki look up in alarm. Satoru hums, still chewing away. “What are you going to tell the class?”

Satoru stops eating. His chewing comes to a halt, and his chopsticks freeze in the air. A slice of pork drops from between them, and falls back into his bowl—It’s not hard to see the cogs turning in his head. “Uhm, I. . .” He swallows the food still in his mouth, and clears his throat. 

Right. It’s Career Day—but Satoru can’t tell a bunch of seven to eight-year-olds that he hunts and kills grimy, ugly, and freakishly scary curses for a living, now, can he? Megumi doesn’t think that would go over well with the other parents. The boy sighs. It’s just one thing after another. He grimly believes the world might just be out to get him. 

“I. . .Oh! I can tell them I’m a teacher,” his guardian scrambles for a solution, and Megumi can’t help but think it’s a little lack-lustre. Who would believe that guy is a teacher, anyway? Then again. . .Megumi doesn’t know a better fix for their current problem, either. He was so focused on the fact that it was Satoru that had to come to the school, he all but forgot about the fact that the dear thorn-in-his-side didn’t possess a normal job. “Suguru has told me a thing or two about his internship. I can take inspiration from there.”

Ah, yes. The famed Suguru Geto. Megumi has met him before. He hasn’t actually spoken to him, however. The man often visits, and has twin girls clinging to him when he does, and while Tsumiki seems to really like him—and them—Megumi doesn’t have an interest in seeking out some form of interaction, yet. Whenever he comes over, Megumi opts to hide in his room. Suguru never tries to disturb him, nor does he try to coax him into coming out. He’s very grateful for it. 

So, despite never speaking to him, Megumi knows about Suguru. Well, he knows enough. He knows Suguru went to school with the two of you, and he knows something really, very bad (nearly) happened that caused the man to take a step back from the world you all live in. What exactly happened (or what didn’t happen), Megumi doesn’t know for sure. You and Satoru almost never speak about it, and when you do, it’s in hushed voices—and you always stop immediately when he enters the room. 

But that’s okay. He doesn’t need to know. Suguru doesn’t force himself upon Megumi, and so he will extend him the same courtesy.  “I thought Geto-san wasn’t a teacher, yet?” Tsumiki speaks up from beside him, tilting her head to the side in confusion. “Mimi and Nana said he’s still learning. How can he be teaching, already?” 

“He’s not a teacher, yet, munchkin, well spotted,” Satoru answers with a proud grin. The nickname annoys Megumi—the feeling of irritation has been conditioned into his very being after Satoru chose it as the designated nickname for both of them. “An internship helps him build experience in the field. It means he is still learning, but he will do so while teaching.”

Tsumiki nods in understanding, her mouth opens and her lips curl into a small ‘ah’ as the information settles in. “So, you will pretend to be a teacher, then? At Megumi’s school?”

Satoru bites on his bottom lip, seemingly deep in thought. Seemingly—as Megumi is quite convinced he doesn’t ever think before he speaks. “I think so, yes,” he explains, and unknowingly retorates Megumi’s train of thoughts. How annoying. Satoru looks towards you for approval; it’s something he does very often. “It’s probably the safest route, no?”

“It’s our best option,” you say, and bring a thumb up to the corner of Satoru’s mouth. Gently, you wipe away a grain of rice stuck to his skin. It’s effortless, and nearly automated. Megumi wonders how many times you’ve had to do that. “Pretending to be a teacher shouldn’t be too difficult a task. Right, mochi?”

“Right,” Satoru echoes. His eyes track your every move, and the slight, pink colouring of his cheeks doesn’t seem to embarrass him even a little bit. Megumi thinks it should. Have some decorum. “I can do it, no problem.” 

“Alright then,” you say, and smile. First at Satoru, and then at Megumi. You look at the boy for a few seconds; you’re about to ask him if he’s okay with it. He knows you are, because you always do. “Is that okay for you, Megumi?” It’s like clockwork, almost. 

Megumi feels the need to answer with something snarky. Something akin to the sound of ‘What choice do I have?’ but he doesn’t—because you’re being kind, and you don’t deserve such a response. So, instead he turns towards Satoru.

“. . .Just don’t mess it up.” 

Satoru delivers a whole spiel about how ‘he’d never do that’ and that he’s ‘more than capable’ of telling a little white lie, but Megumi dilutes it to background noise rather quickly. He continues sputtering his nonsense when Megumi and Tsumiki stand up to clear the table, and still hasn’t stopped even when you and him start loading the dishwasher together—Megumi chooses to seek reprieve in his room while he’s distracted. 

It isn’t until many hours later, when Megumi leaves the sanctuary of his room to swipe a quick snack from the kitchen, that he first hears Satoru speak about something other than his great, and very much sufficient, ‘capabilities’. Your voices are muffled, and Megumi has to focus to make out your words. His soft, inaudible padding down the illuminated hallways comes to a halt. As if that would make his ears function better. 

“Are you sure you want to do this, Satoru?”

The boy frowns. With such gentleness in your voice, it’s hard to identify the worry lingering beneath the surface. Megumi moves a bit closer. He stops one step shy of bumping into the wooden surface, and peeks through the groove. The door is ajar—it’s something that allows him to watch how your eyes follow Satoru’s large frame as he paces around the room. It’s strange. Seeing him so. . .frazzled. 

Satoru nods. “I can do this, I know I can,” he says, and quits his pacing to look at you. Megumi can’t see his face, but he can see yours. He might as well not have, though, as he can’t make out the emotion that fills your eyes. It’s not one he himself has in his repertoire, that he knows for sure. “He never asks me for anything, princess. I have to do this right.” 

Ah, this isn’t a conversation Megumi is meant to hear. He should probably seize his eavesdropping, he thinks, and winces a little when he properly analyses Satoru’s words. They’re truthful. Megumi doesn’t go to him when he needs something. His first thought is to go to you—and his second, Tsumiki. And if he’s being honest anyway, his third thought very likely isn’t Satoru, either; He’d try to solve it on his own if it came down to it. Megumi frowns again. He doesn’t like how that realisation makes him feel. 

A careful shuffle of footsteps breaks him free from his thoughts. Megumi looks up, and catches how you place a hand on Satoru’s cheek. “I’m sure you’ll do great, baby,” you mumble. There’s a small, soft smile on your lips, one that quickly makes way for the peck Satoru places upon them. 

“Thank you,” Satoru whispers. One of his hands reaches for yours, and Megumi suddenly feels as if he’s intruding on something when the man brings them up to his lips to press a tender kiss to them. Okay, no, definitely intruding—ew. 

The boy scrunches his nose up in disgust, and hurriedly darts back towards his room. Suddenly, he has lost his appetite for a late-evening snack. Megumi lets out a deep sigh once he’s all tucked into his sheets again. Perhaps giving Satoru a shot wouldn’t be that big of a problem. Just one, though.

. . .Yeah, just one should be enough.

It’s the final, conclusive thought Megumi has before dozing off to sleep. Blissfully unaware of the conversation you and Satoru share—now behind a very closed door.

You stifle a giggle. The disappearance of Megumi’s presence outside your bedroom was quick and rampant as soon as Satoru started to kiss your hands. Something the sorcerer did very deliberately. It’s as if the boy suddenly forgot about the very special, very effective pair of eyes his guardian possesses. And with a cursed energy output such as Megumi’s, it would be hard not to recognise his presence.

“You did that on purpose,” you comment. “How cruel of you, mochi.”

Satoru hums, and kisses the inside of your wrist. “Maybe, the little brat shouldn’t eavesdrop, then,” he defends himself. There isn’t an inkling of guilt to be seen on his pretty face.

. . .Though, both of you still take some extra care to shut the door next time.

Megumi faithfully believes that, as of today, he has used-up all of his luck for the next five, no, ten years. It can only go downhill from here. For some inexplicable, mind-boggling reason—Satoru is actually pulling this off. That’s not all; he’s not merely winging it, he’s genuinely doing well. The boy can’t quite believe his eyes.

When he’d walked to the front with such an overexaggerated pep in his step, and an overabundance of bravado rolling off of him in waves—Megumi couldn’t help but watch on with a grim look, and a healthy dose of negative thoughts. It only amplified the nerves he’d collected so far during the walk to school. Somehow, watching Satoru give your flashcards a frantic do-over did very little to ease his bubbling anxiety.

There were many of them, flashcards that is. All possible questions his peers or his teacher could ever think of are written on those little pieces of cardboard. Courtesy of you, and your boyfriend. Megumi’s able to recall all those nights the two of you spend at the kitchen table—practising. He thought it was silly at the time.

But, as it turns out, it works.

Satoru is fun. To other people; Megumi doesn’t share the sentiment. Against all odds, he’s dynamic, and speaks with conviction. His flamboyant hand gestures have others think of them as amusing—captivating, even. Satoru is talking, and they’re all hanging onto his every word. No matter the fact that they’re all cleverly disguised lies.

Megumi can’t wrap his head around it. He doesn’t need to, however. If anything, he’s relieved that his peers think of his guardian as cool. While he certainly does not share the opinion, he isn’t too dense to admit that such a belief will save him a lot of embarrassment in the future. So, for this one, single day, he will let Satoru Gojo be cool. His snarky comments can resume tomorrow.

“Ah, it seems you have a deep love for your profession, Gojo-san,” his teacher says. She interrupts Satoru’s rant, and catches his attention as well as Megumi’s. Her voice is light and airy, and carries nothing that should cause him to fear the worst. Still, the boy feels on edge. “Though, I don’t remember the grade you are teaching. Could you tell us, again?”

Ah, and there it goes. The very first card in the elaborately built castle of lies.

Satoru pauses. A second passes, and then two, and three, and so on. He doesn’t speak for a good thirty, and Megumi can nearly see his mind leaf through his beloved flashcards—flashcards that are now neatly tucked into his pockets and entirely out of reach. That’s good. Because the absolute last thing Satoru should do now, is resort back to the flashcards.

Megumi shakes his head no as a signal.

“Ah,” Satoru says. “I teach kindergarten.”

Satoru didn’t catch the hint. Megumi wishes the ground would swallow him up. It would have been the correct answer—it is the answer that’s written on the flashcards—if Satoru hadn’t decided to go off route. Getting too caught up in the story he’d been free-writing, and allowing himself to get carried away by the looks of awe is resulting in his downfall, which, consecutively, will end with Megumi’s downfall, as well.

“Huh? But! What about the science experiment that exploded?” One of the children in his class whines. “I didn’t get to do that in kindergarten!”

“And the backflip you taught your students!”

“What about the first prize in the talent show? I thought your students were famous!”

The little bit of colour that normally resides in Satoru’s face steadily disappears, and he clenches his fist at his side. Ah, it’s great to know he’s at least aware of his mistake. That won’t help either of them at the moment, though. Megumi’s eyebrows furrow, and a feeling of distress overtakes him. It shows on his face. He doesn’t exactly go through the trouble of trying to hide it—there are bigger problems right now.

How utterly humiliating to be caught lying.

Satoru’s eyes find him. They’re just as troubled as his own. It worsens his anxiety.

“Oh, uhm, you see. . .” Satoru stammers, and Megumi’s stomach churns when the children around them continue to ask more and more questions. The wince his guardian lets out does little to soothe him. Megumi sighs, and looks at the ground. “Ah, I see. It seems you guys saw right through me.”

Megumi slides down in his seat. Maybe, if he tried hard enough, the ground would absorb him. It’s currently looking like a preferable fate.

“. . .I’m actually a detective.”

Oh, Jesus Christ.

“And. . .And for a detective, it’s very important to listen to what people say, because they could be lying!”

It’s a sad, pathetic excuse for a save. Megumi briefly ponders the distance between his seat and the door. Perhaps he could make a run for it. The subway station is very close by—getting on and travelling to an entirely new city to start a new life doesn’t seem like such a bad option. He sighs. No, that’s not possible. You and Tsumiki would be very worried. What else is there to do, though?

“You all picked up on my lie, which tells me every single one of you could make a great detective in the future.”

Megumi thinks Satoru might have some underlying mental problems. Though, they can’t possibly be as severe as the problems his classmates have—for they all believe the nonsense he’s giving them. Bright eyes, filled with hope and admiration, stare up at the man at the front of the class; impressed hums and entertained smiles get passed between the parents standing at the edge of the room. And Satoru, well, he seems entirely too proud of the fact that he made a bunch of children think they’re destined for a career in law enforcement. But, be that as it may, it works.

The children stir up unrest—the good kind this time, the kind that vocalises their excitement—and all rush to ask the detective a question. But, before they can even open their mouths, Satoru claps his hands together. It seems he has decided enough is enough, and it’s one of those very rare moments where Megumi agrees with him. The boy needs this to be over already.

“Alright, that’s it for today,” Satoru says, and feigns disappointment. He pretends to be affected by the sad groans of the children—keyword being pretend, as to the trained eye it’s quite clear that he wishes to leave. “I’m not allowed to tell you more.”

Ah, see, now that’s a good card.

“Wait, but, what about. . .”

“Ah, sorry, that’s confidential. Detective stuff, y’know?”

Confidential. Megumi thinks that might just be his new favourite word. The lingering feeling of anxiety slowly starts to subside with every step Satoru takes towards the back of the room—to the back, and away from the spotlight. His eyes follow the man’s large frame, but Satoru never chooses to look at him in return. His line of sight is firmly focused on the floor. It confuses Megumi, but he chalks it up to a mere whim.

All things considered (and minus the near cardiac arrest he went through), today went pretty well, after all. Much to his surprise.

Perhaps Megumi doesn’t hate Career Day. A strong dislike is more like it.

Megumi can’t count the times he wished for Satoru to be quiet. The exact number is much like the digits of Pi—huge, and absolutely never-ending. He can, however, count the times he didn’t wish for him to be quiet. As of today, that stands at a very solid one.

The birds around them chirp, and the bustle of other people is heard all around them—but they’re the only sounds gracing his ears. There is none of Satoru’s incessant chatter, nor is there even a glimmer of gloating about a job well-done. It’s eerily silent, and Megumi isn’t sure what to make of it. This isn’t quite how he imagined the walk home to go. Far from it, if he’s being honest.

“What’s up with you?”

It’s possibly the first time Megumi decides to break the silence, ever. The boy frowns, and fiddles with the straps of his backpack. There isn’t a middle-ground with Satoru, he has found out. Either he speaks entirely too much, or unnervingly little. There’s a tiny pebble in his path, and Megumi feels the need to kick it forward—so he does.

“I kind of messed up there, huh?”

The kick doesn’t have nearly enough force to it. Megumi watches as the little rock skips forward. Once, twice, and then it comes to a standstill again. “Yeah, kind of,” he agrees.

“I’m sorry,” Satoru rushes out. It’s said so fast, as if it physically pains him to say it. Perhaps it does. It’s sincere, however. There isn’t even a hint of a joke to be found. Something must be bothering him. “It didn’t go how I wanted it to go, and I don’t know why I went astray, and forgot about the cards. It—well, it was pretty stupid.”

Megumi doesn’t exactly feel the need to deny it.

“So, I get it, okay?” He continues, seeing the boy’s silence as an empty space for more conversation—more rambling. Since that’s what it is; rambles, plain and simple. Megumi doesn’t see the need for such a fuss. “I shouldn’t have strayed from the plan, and. . .”

“It’s fine.”

Satoru blinks at him. “What?”

“I said it’s fine,” Megumi repeats. Because it really is fine. Admittedly, it wasn’t smart of Satoru to all but discard your carefully planned presentation, but it ended well enough regardless. No harm, no foul. “Thank you for coming.”

That small, short sentence is enough to stop Satoru in his tracks. Megumi doesn’t, however. The man is very tall, he’s sure to catch up in a jiffy; he doesn’t need him to wait. There’s another small silence, though this one feels a lot more comfortable than the last. Satoru takes his time to process, and Megumi lets him.

“W—What?” The sorcerer stammers in shock. There is no need for Megumi to turn around and see—he can hear the smile curling onto his lips. “Did you just. . .”

“I won’t say it again,” Megumi grumbles definitively, and picks up his pace. The very tips of his ears heat up, and the apples of his cheeks turn red. The feeling of embarrassment. This wasn’t exactly how he’d envisioned it to appear when the day started.

Satoru attempts to run after him, to catch up. “Megumi!” He calls out, the very prominent, very familiar whiney lilt now back in his voice. Megumi didn’t miss it. “Wait for me, I didn’t hear you! Could you repeat that?”

“Yes, you did!” Megumi says, and throws him an annoyed glance from over his shoulder. He tightens his hold on the straps of his backpack. “Stop lying.”

“Nuh uh!”

“What are you? Six?”

Satoru’s toothy grin is infuriating. But—it’s familiar. And Megumi discovers he’s much more at ease when that grin is on display, than when the man in question is moping around. It’s a lot less alarming.

“And a half,” Satoru adds.

The scowl that’s on Megumi’s face appears almost instantly when he goes to ruffle his hair. For a man whose technique largely surrounds being untouchable, he has a surprising lack of awareness concerning this thing called personal space.

“Ugh,” Megumi groans, and pushes him off. It doesn’t work. Satoru gravitates towards him again—almost as if he’s a magnet. He doesn’t attempt to move a second time. In moments like these, it’s best to let Satoru get it all out of his system. “You’re so stupid.”

It’s true. He does think Satoru is stupid, but he can’t deny it—Satoru tried his very best today, and in the days prior. Which makes him one of the very small, barely existent group of people who have done so for him.

It seems one shot was enough, after all.

© MADE BY SANATOMIS — please, refrain from stealing, copying, or reposting any of my works.

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[daisymbin]

Can i request 16. "you still wear the necklace i gave you?" with cheol

yes of course!! 🫶

request your own: full prompt list!

check out my masterlist! // cheol's m.list

second chance prompt #16: "you still wear the necklace i gave you?"

the atmosphere at the dinner table was light, the boys laughing and chatting as they dug into their food, but a quiet tension lingered between you and seungcheol. the history between you two was thick, and though you tried to pretend everything was fine, your heart told a different story. you hadn’t seen him in months, not in a setting like this, not with all the old warmth and familiarity wrapped up in a shared meal.

soonyoung’s voice broke the silence, a grin on his face as he pointed toward you. "hey, didn't i get you a necklace for your birthday? i don’t think i’ve ever seen you wear it."

you stiffened, glancing down at your shirt, hoping the necklace wasn’t visible. it wasn’t—it was tucked neatly under the fabric, hidden from view—but the mention of it made your chest tighten. it had been a thoughtful gift from soonyoung, but there was something else more meaningful adorning your collarbones.

you gave a quick smile and brushed off the comment. "oh, i wear it sometimes," you lied; you've never once worn it. forcing a lightheartedness smile you didn’t feel, "just not today."

seungcheol’s gaze lingered on you from across the table. he didn’t say anything, but the bitterness in his heart grew as he thought back to the necklace he had given you. it wasn’t like he wanted to obsess over it, but every time he saw you, every time he thought of you, his mind kept circling back to that necklace—the one that was supposed to mean something. it made him wonder if you had thrown it away. if it was lying in some forgotten drawer, forgotten like the love you’d once shared.

you shifted in your seat, feeling seungcheol’s gaze on you, but when you dared to meet his eyes, he quickly looked away. it stung. the distance between you two had never been more obvious.

when dinner ended, you offered to get more soju for everyone. you rose from your seat and made your way to the kitchen, trying to push away the thoughts swirling in your mind. you hadn’t worn the necklace that soonyoung had gotten you—not once. the truth was, the only necklace you still wore was the one seungcheol had given you on your first anniversary. you had kept it on, tucked under your shirt, never wanting to take it off.

as you pulled out the soju bottles, trying to ignore the small sting in your chest, you heard footsteps behind you. jeonghan’s voice was calm, but there was an edge of amusement in it. "seungcheol, go help her with the soju. she’ll appreciate it."

you didn’t want to turn around, but you couldn’t ignore the hesitation in his tone. when seungcheol stepped into the kitchen, his presence felt heavy. you tried to act normal, focusing on uncapping the soju bottles, but the tension between you both was undeniable.

he cleared his throat. "you... need help with anything else?" his voice was tight, as if he was trying to make small talk but didn’t quite know how.

you glanced up at him, offering a small smile. "no, i’m good. just this." you tried to keep your voice light, but there was a coldness in the air that you couldn’t shake.

seungcheol nodded, looking down at the floor. he shifted awkwardly, his heart sinking with every passing second. she’s moved on, he thought bitterly. she’s fine without me, she doesn't need me.

you barely noticed the change in him, your focus fixed on the task at hand, afraid that if you looked at him too long, you might lose control of the feelings bubbling beneath the surface. you were terrified of what might slip out. the truth was, you hadn’t moved on. you couldn’t. but you couldn’t let him see that either.

the silence stretched between you two until you bent down to retrieve a cup from the bottom drawer. as you did, the neckline of your shirt shifted, revealing the necklace resting just beneath your skin. it was enough for seungcheol to see it. the sight of it caused his breath to catch in his throat.

his heart hammered in his chest. he froze, feeling an overwhelming rush of emotions flood through him. before he could stop himself, the words were out.

"you still wear the necklace i gave you?" he asked, his voice low, barely above a whisper, like he was afraid to hear the answer.

feeling caught, you didn’t look up at him immediately, but the weight of his words made your stomach twist. you felt the familiar cool metal of the necklace hitting against your skin like a reminder of him. you realised that even when it hurt to wear it, you still did.

slowly, you looked up at him, eyes soft but guarded. "i never took it off," you said quietly, a small smile tugging at your lips. "it’s still with me."

for a moment, neither of you spoke. the world outside seemed to disappear, and the only thing that mattered was the look in his eyes—the way they softened, the way the pain you’d both buried seemed to surface all at once.

finally, seungcheol took a step closer, his voice barely audible. "i... i thought you’d moved on. its been 6 months, why are you still wearing it?"

you shook your head slowly, a sadness lingering in your gaze. "i never moved on, cheol. & it reminds me of you, feels like you're still here with me."

he swallowed hard, his heart swelling with a mixture of hope and guilt. he had been wrong. you hadn’t moved on. you still wore the necklace.

he stepped forward, his hand reaching out instinctively. "do you think..you could learn to love me again?"

you took a breath, meeting his gaze with more courage than you thought you had. "i never stopped,"

the tension between you two finally began to break, the air clearing, and for the first time in months, you felt like maybe, just maybe, you could find your way back to each other.

it wasn’t the end. not yet.

[happy-beeeps]

Sweat it out

Summary: tav comes down with a nasty flu, and one of her travel companions begins to worry... and maybe realize his feelings

WC: 1.3k

warnings: none i think! idiots in love

f!tav x reader

It’s quiet outside Astarion’s tent as he paces back and forth. Halsin has been inside with you for far too long, and the lack of communication has him worried. How long has it been since he hasn’t ended the night with your words, your breath near his? Weeks, months?

He doesn’t like to think of it. In fact, he’s doing an excellent attempt at thinking about anything else as he paces, and fails to notice the clatter of their camp members walking over to him.

“Chin up soldier, the rest of us seem okay, it probably has nothing to do with her tadpole.”

“Karlach is right,” Gale agrees, “it seems unlikely that the rest of us would be spared the same fate if this truly was connected to our wormy affliction. She will pull through.”

As much as it pains him to admit it, Gale is right. For all logical sense, this should have nothing to do with the mind flayers—but the thought offers little comfort (few things hinging on Gale’s ideas rarely do.) 

It has started this morning, you had remarked how your head felt wrong. You felt wrong. You had ignored it, had soldiered on. As the day progressed, you complained of aches that had not been there, of chills that ran down your arms. Your skin grew pallor, covered in a sheen of sweat. By the end of the night, a cough ragged at your chest, and you could do nothing f else but whimper to yourself. The slightest motion had set tears out of your eyes, your skin burning itself to rid your body of whatever was happening.

Only Halsin, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart accompanied you now, the two healers were working overtime on an attempt to find your ailment, and Lae’zel was not easily persuaded to leave behind one of her dearest friends.

Astarion thinks of the dagger pressed to poor Wyll’s throat when he kindly attempt to guide her towards a spot nearest the fire.

He’s worried about you. This isn’t new, he’s made peace with the reality that he cares for you, he just hasn’t figured out how to say it. Now, he fears the opportunity may be slipping from him.

It’s Halsin’s booming voice that calms his nerves, he and the other two step out from the tent, his grin palpable even from where Astarion is standing. “She’ll be fine. It’s a nasty virus, I’ve given her a brew to aid in the healing, and I’ve created tonics for the rest of us.”

As he passes them out, Shadowheart walks up to Astarion, who is quickly making his way towards your tent. “You… don’t need a tonic. On the account of you being, you know. Not really alive.”

“You’ve got such a way with words, really,” he breathes, but his eyes flicker to the flap of your tent, “so I can go see her?”

Lae’zel speaks up, placing a firm pat on his arm as she walks by, “she’s certainly been asking for you.”

* * * 

You have two clear, feverish trances.

The first is of your mother. A memory that’s not uncommon, one you drift back to anytime you attempt to rest an illness away. Its familiarity brings comfort as you attempt to sweat this bug out, and ignore Halsin and Shadowheart’s proding over your body. 

The other is… newer. One you hadn’t expected. You’re in a secluded section of camp, feet tapping against the water, skin swathed in moonlight. Your wearing nothing other than a long, white shirt, unlaced dangerously along the neck. This is no more than two days ago. 

You follow the memory along, watch from your eyes as you trace circles along your bare thighs, until you look to your side. Astarion is there, eyes swimming with emotion, as he gnaws on his lip.

Memory Astarion reaches out, grabbing your hand, weaving your fingers together. “I’m glad you’ve convinced me to stick around after our escapades, you are entirely addicting.”

Memory you leans against him, pressing your weight against his. His skin is cool, the chill sending tiny bumps along your exposed legs. “I’m glad you’ve decided to humor me, Star.”

You’re mortified when your eyes flutter open, your mouth in the process of muttering his name, to realize he’s here. Next to you. In your tent. As you sweat through probably a third pair of smallclothes.

“You rang?” He’s cheeky when he speaks, but his hand goes to palm your stomach quickly, as if he’s checking to make sure you’re here, you’re still you. The concern is sweet, and it sends an all new kind of flush across your body.

“Feel so sick, Star.” Shit. Is that tiny little voice coming from you?

He moves then, gentler than he’s ever moved before, carefully contorting his body around yours and pressing you against him. In an instant, it’s like a salve to your soul. You’re covered in him—his smell, his weight, his temperature. The chill itself is a whole other soothe to your aches. 

“I know you are darling, but Halsin said you’ll be better soon.”

“Can’t get you sick,” a cough takes your lungs briefly, “who’s gonna pick the locks for us then?”

He laughs, and smooths a few stray hairs out of your face. “I won’t. Officially medically cleared, according to Shadowheart. On the account of my ‘not being alive.’”

You move to nod your head, but the pain makes you stop. Astarion is quick, and he cushions the movement with his hand before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I hear you were dreaming about me?”

“Maybe. Lots of trances. You know how it goes.”

“Was it particularly scandalous? Is that why my little love is so keen to swear?”

“Don’t have it in me to hit you.”

“You wouldn’t dream of it.”

It’s a calm silence that takes you next, Astarion stroking your hair as you listen to the distant clamor of your friends. You break it, after another moment.

“I remembered my mother.”

You don’t often talk about your family, and he knows this. He moved just slightly so you can see his face, curiosity and warmth covering his eyes. “What was it?”

“When I was little, I got sick, nothing bad but still sick. My mother, she’d rub my hair and sing to me,” you pause to close your eyes, as if you could will her here right now, “she’d go to our kitchens and shoo the cooks out, she’d make me her special soup, and when she brought it to me she’d promise me she’d teach me one day.”

“She sounds lovely.”

“She was. Smart too. She always knew things about me that I didn’t know.”

“Oh, like what?” Astarion’s face shimmers with a laugh and you use the last bit of your strength to attempt a shrug and burrow into his chest.

“She used to tell me she knew I’d end up with someone older. Don’t know if she knew how old.”

After your words, as if in cue, your chest begins its steady rise and fall, and Astarion recognizes the twitch in your fingers. You’re trancing again. Which means he’s stuck with your words and their heavy implications.

Still, with the way your overheating body simmers against his cold touch, he resolved that he doesn’t mind their weight, not at all. In fact, he’d like more of your burden.

You don’t slip out of your trance that night, but feel the briefest ghost of a kiss on your forehead.

When sunlight rolls around, your eyes blink awake. You’re weak, you can feel it, but better. You go to sit up, but realize quickly Astarion’s weight is still against you, one arm cradling your head to his chest, one arm twisted beneath you. 

You’ve never quite felt so comfortable, so held. You don’t remember what you told him last night, don’t remember exactly what he said. Instead, you decided to live in this moment now, and pray to all the gods you’ll get to relive it again soon.

[sscieloz]

Comatose

Ning Yizhuo x Reader

Synopsis: you and ning have been best friends ever since you could remember. but she’s been distant lately, and you can’t help but wonder where does she go to every single night.

Warnings: cnc (? maybe?). smut. nsfw.

Word count: 4.8k

Notes: I’m trying to get into darker themes for 2024. writing different prompts, challenging myself. I apologize if I it’s off putting. pls say something if it is!

Ning Yizhuo was a good girl.

She never skipped classes, never talked back or raised her voice at elders, never missed a day of bible school, and never forgot to flicker the lights in her room whenever you were going to sleep.

Yet, she earned for more.

She was ambitious. Has always been, ever since she was a little girl. She’s had this feeling in her chest for ages, a clear warning that she was born in the wrong place: she didn’t belong in this small town, surrounded by rich fuckers that did nothing but label people and gossip all day. She was more than a close-knit community that lived off balls and charity events to make up for the fact that everyone who lived there were scrumptious, vile people. Those people did not represent herself at all.

Someday, she’d be truly free of the chains that tied her to this place.

For now, she was content enough with adjusting the helmet in her head, hopping on her bike to seek things that would make her forget about the life she lived, even if just for one night.

—

“And where is Mrs. Yizhuo once again, Y/n?” Your teacher’s voice echoed harshly from behind you, as you positioned your hands on the piano to start your lesson for the day.

“She’s sick, Mrs. Lee.” You straighten your posture, hoping to get more credibility. “She took many meds this morning. I think she’ll be sleeping all day to recover. I’m sorry.”

The teacher gives you a knowing look, but says nothing once you begin to practice the same songs over and over, until your fingers hurt from the repetitive movements.

You send Ningning several messages as soon as the woman looks away. She’s your best friend, of course you’d cover for her even without her asking for it. Although you don’t think she cares, anyway.

She’s been acting so different lately. Like somebody else; a different girl, different person. It was as if you didn’t know her at all.

You’ve been next-door neighbors ever since you could remember, always there for each other. That, along with the fact that your parents are part of a close-knit friend group that has been friends ever since high-school, made it easy for her to be your other half, your soulmate. Her house was right next to yours, and you’ve developed a habit of checking if her room had the lights on whenever you were anxious. Ning was your best friend, and you did everything together: from hanging out at each other’s houses to attending choir and piano lessons every single day.

That was until she changed. Suddenly, she was distant: disappearing out of nowhere, not answering any of your calls and texts all day and coming back dirty, sweaty and breathless — her hair stinking with smoke. The only thing you could rely on was the flickering of her bedroom lights, every single day when the clock hit your bedtime. You were rigid with your routine, and Ning knew that. She’s never missed it, and it comforted your heart, somehow. To know that deep inside, she was still your Ningning.

You often had to make up lies wherever you went, making up endless excuses for her absences, but at some point, it got unsustainable— she stopped showing up, without saying anything to anyone. Ning wore all black, with tight skirts and black stockings, and often had a bored look on her face, silently challenging anyone to come at her and say something.

No one ever did, obviously. People merely stared as she passed by, disdain etched on their faces.

You knew she hated living in a small city, although, you didn’t mind living so yourself. There was something comforting in knowing everyone, and oddly enough, you felt safe to feel there was always a pair of eyes watching out for you — not watching you, no. Well, people could do that, too: be excessively mean and controlling at times, but you know how to set your boundaries well. You played your part, being a former straight A student who was now attending the local university, with plans to join your step-father at the architecture company he owned, once you were done with your studies. You had been the perfect little debutant, and could always be found next to your friends or your parents at the charity events and lavish galas hosted by the community. You couldn’t say it wasn’t suffocating at times, but it wasn’t like you completely hated it.

Clearly, you were unable to say the same for Ningning. What had stirred this change inside of her? Your chest burned every time you thought about it, eager to know. You yearned to be a part of her life again, yet a small part of your brain was too afraid to ask her about it, knowing she’d answer you wholeheartedly.

You hated the change. You missed your best friend too much. You missed the old her.

The Ning who would flick her lights to let you know she was there, whenever it was time for you to go to sleep. The Ning who let you cry on her shoulder for hours at your grandfather’s funeral. The Ning who would attend the school games to see you cheer, who stood by your side when your dad left, and who washed all of your fears away when your mother remarried.

That was your soulmate; the Ningning who was always there for you. Not the reckless girl with a blank face who didn’t seem to care about a single thing.

Although, you were beginning to think you did not know her at all.

—

“Can I come?” You ask, trying to suppress a shiver as the wind blows cold against your body. It had certainly not been the best idea to wear a white, short dress with even tinier undershorts and boots in autumn, but you couldn’t think about anything else to put on.

With only a leather jacket to warm off your body, your eyeliner, smudged, dark makeup and heavy jewelry mirrored the girl standing in front of you, and you can’t help but smile.

You’d fit in well.

“Excuse me?” Ningning exclaims, frowning in disbelief.

“I want to come with you.” You repeat yourself, holding your own hands nervously. “You’ve changed, Ning. I’m not stupid… I just want to understand. Would you show it to me, please?”

You hate the way she’s looking at you, like she’s still deciding whether to allow yourself into her new world. You also hate the way your voice cracks, always vulnerable when it comes to her.

After minutes of staring, Ning decides to give you a chance. Shrugging, she leaves you alone on the sidewalk as she returns to her garage, shoving a helmet into your chest.

“Fine. But say anything funny, and I’ll leave you there alone. Got it?” You nod, trying not to feel hurt by her indifference towards you.

After a few clumsy attempts, you manage to hop in on her fancy bicycle, hands trapped tightly on her thin waist. You often spied on Ning going out with a dark motorbike you were sure her parents hadn’t bought her. However, as the two of you go at full speed through the night, you feel like you understand her a little better: it’s so freeing, to just ride on the freeway as the wind messes up your hair. You laugh, hugging her tighter, the only thought crippling your mind being over how beautiful the moon looked in the cloudless night, alone in all its glory.

Before you register, Ningning parks her bike carefully. If not for the fact that the place was absolutely crowded, you wouldn’t be able to tell this was the place she’s been sneaking out too frequently. It’s simple: just many cars parked in a circle, occupying the large freeway as people stand against them like ants. You guess someone must’ve blocked the way so no unwanted cars would drive by, but that was a lucky guess.

Nevertheless, you’re struck by a sudden heat wave — being surrounded by a fairly large, energetic crowd was enough for you to feel your face getting warmer, much to your liking. The atmosphere was lively, electricity hanging in the air almost palpably. It was as if everyone were anticipating, waiting for something, and you were nearly sure Ning was involved in that.

“There.” She motions to the right area of the crowd, waving at someone unknown to you. “Let’s go.”

You try to act cool as she grabs your hand to guide you through the crowd, failing terribly. The truth is, it’s been months since she’s talked to you, touched you properly. Perhaps you missed Ningning much more than you could admit, judging by the serotonin boost you’d gotten by a mere touch from her.

Ning stops in front of a black Dodge, where three girls stand with bored looks. They’re all wearing black and red, in some sort of subtle color coordination. You notice Ning’s outfit follows the theme, too, her crimson crop top standing out from her black pants and leather jacket.

“You’re late, Ningning.” Giselle says, not bothering to look at you as she chews on her gum, hands brushing her hair ever so flawlessly. She’s beautiful — they all are, and there’s something in the way they pose; as if they’re royalty around the place.

“Hello to you too, Gigi.” Ning answers her, not affected by her dismissal in the slightest. Your best friend gestures to the other girls, then, giving your hand a squeeze. Even though it wasn’t needed anymore, she was still holding on to you. “Those are Karina and Winter.” They bow slightly, acknowledging your presence. “Girls, this is Y/n”.

The trio share a knowing look at the mention of your name. As if a spell had been cast upon them, the girls are all over you, swirling, giggling and speaking all at once.

“It was about time we met you, Y/n”. Winter giggles, resting her head on Karina’s shoulder.

“Right?” Giselle shakes her head, suddenly interested in the conversation, with her condescending tone. “Took Ningning long enough to bring you to the Underworld.”

The Underworld. The name alone is enough for you to shiver, shrinking under your oversized jacket. Like a reflex, you turn to your best friend, brows furrowed and mind seeking for answers. “The Underworld?”

As soon as she opens her mouth to explain, she’s dragged away by Karina, who sighs. “Tell her all about it later, Ningning. Giselle was right, you really are late, and we have to enroll you in today’s race right now.”

Ning stares at Winter with a serious look, waiting until the bob-haired girl nods to leave. “Take care of her while I’m gone.” Shooting you an apologetic look, Ning follows Karina to the heart of the crowd, not at all uncomfortable as you lose her amidst the sea of unknown faces.

You’ve been warned about such places before, ones where people go to lose themselves and do things they shouldn’t. Even though it’s dark, you’re able to see what every group is occupying themselves with, always good to notice details in a crowd. Some drinking, smoking, others doing drugs that were too explicit for such an open space. Many people acted borderline pornographic, too, engaged in heavy make out sessions and touching places that had you looking away, too embarrassed to lurk.

“I’ll go breathe some air.” You tell Winter, who’s now sitting on the hood of the car, furiously typing on a computer as big as her head. She must’ve grabbed it from the passenger’s seat while you were busy looking around, horrified.

You expect her to protest, specially since Ning had been clear in her words, but the small girl doesn’t even look at you for more than three seconds before answering, still heavily focused on the screen that lights her face. “Okay.”

Before she’s even finished, you turn around and dodge people as best as you can, barging towards the woods located on the edge of the road without hesitation. You walk until the lively event is just a faint noise, crippling your ears like a bug on a hot, sticky day.

Now, being able to breathe the cold air properly and free from the demons of the night, you try to understand your best friend. Ning has always been a free spirit, independent and strong-willed. But, while her wild nature did stir up some trouble in your community, she’s always been welcomed and loved. That’s how a family worked, right? You might fight, but you also sort things out, eventually.

The sound of dry leafs being stepped on startles you, but you’re soon at ease once you see Ningning’s silhouette coming out of the darkness. She sits by your side, both looking at the moon instead of facing each other.

She must be afraid too, you reckon. Of you judging her choices, turning your back on her like her family did, the moment she changed her attitude.

Well, you did judge, but you’d never leave her alone. You love her too much to do so, even if you couldn’t quite understand her ulterior motives.

Ning looks beautiful under the moonlight, her long hair shiny as she plays with her own fingers, hesitant to speak up. Her hair is one of the last things she’s kept true to herself after this sudden change. You let your hands run through, reminiscing the times when, not matter how impatient, she’d let you comb and style it.

Such memories must’ve been going through her mind, too, in a reassurance of the bond you shared. Gathering courage, she turned her face to you, smiling faintly.

“Ilegal fights and street races. That’s what we do here in the underworld, that’s what it’s about.” Ning keeps you from interrupting her, already aware of what you’re going to ask. “I’ve seen people do some darker shit, yeah, like drugs and stuff, but the girls and I stay far away from that. It’s not something you can deal with without falling into a hole, you know. And I’m not trying to dig myself a grave or anything.”

You breathe in deeply, acknowledging everything she’s said. It’s like you’re walking on thin ice: one phrase worded wrongly, and she’d shut herself off from you for good.

So you choose the safest route. “And… the girls? You, hm, you all race?”

Ning relaxes instantly at your words. Her shoulders fall off, glad you didn’t start screaming at her or try to brainwash her guts. She expected a far worse reaction.

Shaking her head, her tone is a little more excited as she answers. “I’m the only racer of the group. Giselle fixes the mechanics, Winter does the stats, and Karina handles the bets and closes off the deals. They are my girls, Y/n. My family.”

You stand up, unconsciously walking around in little circles as you try to think of the right words to not scare off your best friend. The truth is, this whole Underworld thing was not only scary — it terrified you to know Ning had found herself in such a place. She needs to think through all of this situation, and realize she’s losing herself badly, walking into a path set for destruction. She needs help, and she so desperately needs to come to her true senses. You have to save Ning from herself, and you’d do just that.

“We’ll take you back.” The words come out without you really thinking them through, not at all as careful as you wish to be. You turn around completely to face Ning, only to find her already staring, her big eyes as cloudy as ever. “We know you’re sorry, Ning, it’s ok. Just… let us go back, then it will all be just like before.”

She lifts her brows and takes a few steps towards you, not stopping until you’re trapped, back hitting the trunk of a tree.

“I’m not sorry for what I’ve done, Y/n.” She’s angry, and you hate seeing her mad. Specially at you. Ning never got mad at you. “I’m sorry that we were born in this shitty ass town with so many rich fuckers, and I’m sorry that stupid community has brainwashed you so much they can control you as they please. I apologize for being distant because I know it hurts you, but besides that, I’ve done nothing wrong.”

She’s breathless from speaking with such fervor, both of her hands placed on each of your sides so you have no way of escaping.

And even though you gulp, you force your body to not have any fear. It’s Ningning: your best friend, your soulmate. She’d never hurt you.

She’d never.

“Ning.” You look down, failing to hide the tremor in your voice. “Ning, let me go.”

Something in her eyes shift the moment she noticed the fear in your voice. Her pupils are wide blown, and her smile is just wrong, staring at you from head to toe. Suddenly, you’re hyper aware of the wind messing with your very short dress, and how hot you feel, despite the cool weather.

Somehow, you get the feeling she’s thinking the same thing, too. Time stops as her eyes fall to your lips, and she’s on top of you in a blink. Kissing, tugging, licking… Ning’s desperation is something you can taste, and it’s written all over. This kiss is not like the sweet, chaste experiences you’ve had before. Ning kisses you like a woman starved, taking until there’s no air left, and your lungs are burning, claiming for relief.

Her kiss is venomous, so sinful you fear what you’d do if you experience it again.

“W-what the fuck, Ning! Why’d you do that?” You manage to say, crossing your arms over your chest to try to get some distance between you. “This wrong, Ning. This isn’t y—”

“Did they send you here?” She ignores your words completely, hands assaulting your body as you try to move against her. “Is that it? Are they that fucking desperate, really?”

Perhaps you’re weak, or maybe she’s been putting some work in the gym, but the truth is she doesn’t move an inch, no matter how much try to pull her away. If anything, it only brings her closer to you, that wicked smirk still on her face.

“What? They… no! Of course not. I came because I want to understand you.” Her accusations hurt, even though you know she’s not entirely wrong.

The truth is, Ning’s too smart for her own good.

Surprisingly, her fingers are delicate as they brush one of your shoulders, playing with your dress sleeve before letting it slide midway, enough for it to expose yourself to the dark night. You shiver, not only due to the winds that cause your nipples to harden, but also because of the girl who stares at you like she’s gone mad. She’s salivating, and you watch her every breath until she lowers her head and latches her mouth onto one of your boobs, her teeth teasingly picking on your nipples.

It’s as if you’ve been electrocuted. Your back arches, and you try even harder to let go of the hand that’s keeping yours clasped together so tightly it hurts, but you can’t set yourself free. Did her touches always feel like that? So wrong, yet so… good, you look forward to more?

“Stop, p-please. Ning, my b-boyfriend…” It’s all you’re able to mutter, choosing to keep your mouth shut. You’re too afraid of the sounds that might come out of your lips if you continue speaking.

You’ve never felt like this before. This tingling sensation, erupting to all your body — specially to your core. The warmth that eloped your body like you were too close to the sun. It felt good, Ning’s touches are so good you itch with need.

It’s no surprise you’ve touched yourself before. You were no saint, either. However, it has never felt anything close to that. You would never be able to mimic Ning’s hands, cupping your breasts, pinching your waist, forcefully opening your legs to keep her knee seated between them… all while still trapping you, the burning sensation in your hands serving as a lively reminder of the situation you were currently in.

“Your boyfriend, yes. That fucking idiot.” Ning’s hands go straight to the hem of your shorts, forcing them down. “He’s never touched you like that, right Y/n? Surely, you’d tell me. I’m your best friend, after all.”

Tears start to cloud your vision as her hands pull down your shorts, fingers going all the way under your dress to find the bare skin of your abdomen. She scratches it slightly, even though you find yourself still struggling vigorously against her touches.

“Ning, you don’t know what you’re doing. I’m sorry, please s-stop…” Ning huffs, annoyed by your attempts to get her off you.

“No, Y/n. I know exactly what I’m doing.” She laughs as her teeth scratch your shoulder, and then she bites. It’s so unexpected you scream, ashamed to admit that her harsh touches are the reason your insides are embarrassingly wet. “I bet you’ve touched yourself thinking of me, too. God, Y/n. You act like you’re this good little example to others, but I know you better than anyone. You’re such a dirty, hungry whore.”

Ning’s wet mouth leaves a trail of saliva on your skin as you stop moving against her chest. Instead, you let your head rest on the corner of her neck, biting your mouth so hard you feel the metallic taste of blood in your tongue. Ning notices it, too — her eyes have never stopped observing you attentively, not from the moment she’s met you for the first time. Grabbing your neck possessively, she pulls you in for another hungry, aggressive kiss, her tongue forcing its way over your mouth until your taste was all hers to delight herself with, too.

Without an alibi to hide your pleasure, you moan against her lips, chest moving rapidly with the adrenaline. You feel her smile, too.

This doesn't seem right, in any way. Your best friend, forcing you to surrender against her wishes and talking to you like you were nothing… it is all wrong, deeply wrong.

But why is she making you feel so alive? Why is the burning sensation that expands over every inch of your skin so addicting?

If it’s so wrong, why does it feel so good?

“Does he touch you like this?” Ning asks with a sultry tone, as her fingers toy with your folds. The anticipation drives you insane, only intensifying your arousal. You gasp at the sensation of her fingers in your cunt, hovering and so close to where you need her. Your silence irritates her, clearly. “Answer me, whore.”

Her hands, God — her hands leave your cunt so quickly and reach out for your throat, squeezing on your pulse point with such precision you nearly cum on the spot. You feel lightheaded, unable to think about anything but how alive Ning makes you feel. In fact, it’s her touches that ground you again, reminding you of what is happening.

She kisses your jaw, her tone dripping with fake-sweetness as she murmurs. “Tell me what I already know, Y/n. Say it.”

With that, you’re aware of your current situation: Ning’s getting inside your head, distracting you with pleasure until you’re dumbed down enough to surrender to her wishes.

When did she become so evil?

“Stop— touching me.” You say, turning your head away from her. Still, you can’t help but obey, even though your voice is barely audible as you add. “You know the answer, already.”

Ning’s hand slides through your body, taking her time to grope, scratch and pinch as she pleases until she’s cupping your cunt again, her motion too sweet for the harsh way she’s been acting towards you. Two of her fingers go to your slit, taking all the air from your longs as she shoves them in and out slowly, savoring the sensation both for herself and for you. And you’re wet— so much her fingers slide easily, despite your lack of experience. It’s as though time had stopped: the animals have stopped making noises, the wind has stopped humming and all the people at the street have quieted. All you can hear is Ning’s breathing, just as erratic as you, and the lewd sounds coming out from your cunt.

It feels so good, you wonder how you've lived all this time without Ningning touching you like that. Like you were a secret gemstone she was more than ready to unravel.

“If you want me to stop touching you, then why are you so fucking wet?” She asks, cocky as you whimper under her. Your legs feel like jelly, and suddenly you’re so glad for the tree you’re relying on, and Ning’s leg between your thighs, forcing them open. “No, Y/n. You know damn well what you want. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.” Her following words are what break you. As your thumb meets your clit, she adds, “You’re as rotten as me, filthy girl. I just choose not to run from myself anymore.”

You want to deny it. There’s nothing more you want than to pull Ning back and scream at her face, talking about how insufferable she’s become and how much of an asshole she was. But your brain has long been turned into mush, focused on only one thing: gathering the crippling sensation that was forming in your lower abdomen and let it explode, turning it into a mind-blowing wave of pleasure. It’s all you’ve ever wanted: to cum. Nothing else really matters.

You don’t even recognize yourself, clinging onto Ning as if your life depended on it. Her skilled fingers don’t stop their motion on your slit as her thumb applies more pressure to your clit, circling it harshly, so fast it makes your eyes roll to the back of your skull with pleasure. It feels unlike anything you’ve ever felt before: every inch of your body boils, and you’ve never wanted so bad to just explode.

Faint screams fill the background, with Ning’s name being called repeatedly, surely from the girls looking for her. However, you don’t pay them any mind. The only sounds coming out of your mouth are loud, sinful moans — the most beautiful melody to Ning’s ears.

“N-ning…” You whine, carving your nails onto your best friend’s skin. Sweat gathers in your forehead as you feel your orgasm close, but you’re too stubborn to say anything to her.

Ning knows you well, though. Your muscles tense, and you cum as she keeps her strokes hard and fast, just what you need to explode into waves of pleasure. It hits so good you scream, legs shaking as she holds you as if you weight nothing, keeping you from falling onto the dust. White dots dance around your vision, fireworks exploding inside you as the orgasm washes through your body, in rhythmic waves of pleasure.

It was borderline addicting.

“Ningning! There you are, fucker. We’ve been looking for ages.” Karina’s body appears from the darkness, her impeccable frame easy to distinguish from anything else. You’re so fucked out it takes you a few seconds to register her presence. By then, Ning has already covered you, adjusting your dress back on with precise movements. “Don’t be irresponsible just because of some pussy! You’re up in five, come on.”

You don’t miss the way Karina’s eyes stare at your body, not an ounce of shame in her pretty face. However, you don��t feel ashamed to have her attention on you. If anything, you can feel your face blushing, your body slowly feeling hot again.

Lust is a dangerous thing, indeed.

Ning doesn’t miss Karina’s cue either, judging by the way she scoffs. Dismissing her with an annoyed tone, Ning mutters, “I said I was coming.” She gestures to the trees and the wild bushes, then. “You can lead the way.”

Karina laughs, not missing her last opportunity to address you, as she turns around and waves. “Bye, Y/n. I hope you’re around more often.”

You giggle, too, amazed by how she camouflages herself so easily, lost amidst the night and the forest.

Still, the girl in front of you captures all of your attention. Like always, she’s already staring, her brown hair messy from your making out.

“This is the real world, Y/n. I’m not going back.” She says, not leaving any space for discussion. You know that tone too well; Ning’s already made her choice, and it wasn’t the one you wanted her to pick. With big, sad eyes, she adds, “I wish you would free yourself, too.”

Her delicate tone breaks your heart. Deep down, you know she means it. Ning’s following what she believes in, and she wishes she could share her world with you, too.

She walks away without looking back, sure of who she was and what she wanted for her future.

With a heavy sigh, you follow her towards the highway once again.

You’d follow her through it all.

[mvltisstuff]

going, going, gone pt. 2 - c.f

summary: y/n leaves to do what susannah always wanted for her boys.

conrad fisher x conklin!reader

a/n: gif is not mine, but i was so so happy to see how much everyone loved part one!! i’ve never had to tag people, but i will try and do that at the end of the story <3 this is also not following the books, that i haven’t read because i’m the worst reader 😭

y/n stood on the opposite side of susannah’s bed, visiting her in boston after she was waiting to see her girls. her connection to laurels daughters was always something susannah felt from the moment they were born. she always wanted girls of her own, but she was still blessed with her two sons.

belly was sitting on the bed, a bright blue dress as susannah looked into her eyes. laurel had gone out to run errands for her friend, so the girls had stayed with susannah.

it was clear that her condition was declining, and rapidly. her face didn’t have the usual sunshine look, and she appeared weaker than y/n and belly were ever used to. her skinny hands trailed to theirs and wrapped together. her touch went from a warm comfort to as light as a feather. somehow, through the cloudy day, the sun poked through and her angelic smile blessed the girls.

“i’ve been missing you so much,” susannah grinned, placing a hand on belly’s thigh and grabbing y/n’s hand with the other. “i’m so glad you came to see me. i needed to see you girls.”

the look on belly’s face was almost coated with uncomfortableness, her naïve self not used to seeing people in this condition. y/n didn’t want susannah to see her fall apart in her grasp, so she made herself blend with tranquility.

the time had passed where they wanted to attempt to save susannah. now, they knew it was only a matter of time until they lost her. they may not have physically lost susannah, but they lost the spark in her a long time ago.

“the boys love you, you know,” she tells belly, and then turning her head to y/n. “both of you.”

“i know,” y/n replies, seeing belly trying to find the right words.

“promise me something?” she asks, looking at belly who’s head perks up. “look after them for me.”

“you’re going to do that yourself,” belly remarks barely over a whisper, moments away from letting the dam break. y/n’s cried enough tears for susannah, but somehow they don’t seem to stop. watching her whole family experience this grief makes her feel less alone, but seeing her baby sister fall apart is near unbearable.

she watched as belly crumpled on the bed into susannah’s arms, and her once warm grasp felt lighter than ever.

ever since her death, y/n wants to look at belly the same. her actions make it so hard. she promised susannah to take care of her boys, and she failed. she let jeremiah sit around knowing he wasn’t the one she truly wanted. afterwards, she made conrad watch in heartbreak her new self with jeremiah.

that scares y/n, knowing that she’ll never truly be able to pick between them. in the long run, no matter who she “picks”, she’s hurting more people than she thinks.

she figures the best thing she can do is be there for conrad, as belly and jeremiah don’t think it’s necessary.

as she drove further and further away, the music she normally sings to turned into static. conrad would probably still be in cousins, not wanting to face his family back in boston. the traffic had quieted down, for people would be home with their families.

she pulled up the the house that had gotten it’s life back before julia took it all away. conrad and y/n were the main ones trying to save the house from being invaded by another family. even if they couldn’t, the cousins house would always have the fisher’s name on it. when y/n walked up to the front door, she slowly turned the doorknob and stepped in.

her footsteps lightly echoed due to the emptiness of the house, some of the front rooms still looking lifeless. y/n walked around, picturing everything exactly how susannah had it, all the portraits and loving decor she had around. she knew, though, that’s how conrad will set everything up.

the sun was just starting to dip down below the horizon, and when she spotted conrad sitting with his feet dipped in the pool, he looked lower than the sun ever could get.

she quietly stepped out onto the back, not saying a word until he noticed her. his head slowly tilted around, feeling her sweet eyes burning through him. he felt more relieved. she’s the only person he wants to see. she’s the one person who hasn’t ripped his heart out and used it.

“what are you doing back?” he questions, keeping his collected expression.

“i didn’t think you really wanted to be alone. you can’t fool me, conrad,” she smirks softly, moving over to sit next to him on the edge of the pool. she dips her feet into the cool water, not yet graced by the hot summer air.

“i don’t need you to be here for me, i don’t think i’m too good of company right now.”

“i think that’s exactly why you need me,” y/n says as conrad looks back to her. he’s always noticed y/n’s beauty on the outside, but he never got to really appreciate the inside. her mind was just as beautiful as her hair when the wind blows it, or the dimples on her cheeks when she’s happy. “you don’t have to do this alone, you know.”

“yeah,” he sighs, swaying his feet in the pool. “i thought jere would at least help me.”

“i talked to belly,” y/n tells him, seeing him quickly freeze and lean his head back.

“it’s not a big deal, y/n, really,” conrad says.

“it is to me. i never thought of her like this, but i don’t understand how she could do that to you.”

“it’s a me problem, clearly jeremiah’s better than i am.”

“that’s not true. belly’s young and thinks she’s innocent. she doesn’t deserve someone like you. she’ll never take the time to know you, but she’s going to jeremiah because he’s ‘easier’.” y/n replies. “you’re perfectly fine the way you are, and you never have to change for her, or me.”

“my mom always saw me with belly. i think that’s the worst part.”

“but your mom didn’t see what belly’s done to you. susannah would never want you to change in order to be with her.” y/n says, clearly to him. “susannah asked belly to be there, and she failed.”

“what do you mean?”

“when belly and i went to visit, she asked us to take care of you and jeremiah. belly barely looked after you, and i don’t even know if she’s helping jeremiah.”

“i get it, though. i left her at prom, and broke her heart.”

“was it shitty of you? yes, i’m not gonna lie to you. at this point, she’s taking it too far by playing with you and now it’s jeremiah’s turn.”

“maybe my mom was wrong,” he looks away, connecting his eyes back with the minute waves in the water. “i miss her. she was like a breath of fresh air, and i feel like i haven’t gotten that since she died.”

“she’s still here,” y/n tells him, seeing the corner of his mouth turn up a bit.

“i still feel her sometimes. if i’m home and i hear a noise, i’ll think she’s cooking, or painting. i don’t need people to see me fall apart.”

“you never have to hide, conrad. not anymore, and not from me.”

the next time he locks eyes with y/n, he can majorly see the sincerity in her face. there’s still a hint of when they were young in their eyes, memories swimming back into conrad’s head. every time she talked to him, all the time she spent with him. every party she skipped because conrad didn’t feel up to it, and she didn’t want him to be alone. he never felt nervous around y/n the way he did with her sister. they always had a complex relationship, but never once did y/n fail to be next to him. conrad let his inch closer to y/n’s, letting her hand lay on top of his, leaving solace in him. he never noticed how soft her hands were, literally and figuratively. she never once used him and glued his pieces back together. it’s then that he realizes that’s something belly never did.

impulsively, he moves his body more toward y/n, trying to get all the gladdening she can give. she’s more than happy to give it to him, letting conrad hold onto her and have her help him. the world around the boy became lighter, almost forgetting about his former despondency caused by belly. the closer he got to y/n, the more he thought that his mother had mistaken belly for the one.

he brushes a stand of y/n’s hair behind her ear, placing his hand on the side of her neck. she breathes lightly, knowing what conrad wants from her, but not knowing if he needs it.

“conrad,” she whispers, his name coming across incredibly from her lips. “you know i love you.”

“of course,” he says back, his hand trailing down her arm.

“but i won’t be a redemption because you cannot have belly. i’ve been the second choice once and i destroyed myself. i won’t do it again.”

“belly’s not who i want. i don’t think i’ve ever loved belly the way i have for you.” it all felt so sudden, the tension growing thicker between them as conrad only wanted to deepen the connection. y/n was just so horrified of hurting him more. she knows that she could help him and love him how he should, but she needs to know that he’s not just trying to get belly back.

“i think we need time, conrad. please?” she asks, and he nods, slipping his hand back down and grabbing her hand. “but trust me when i say that’s it’s not over with us.”

the meaning behind her words is stronger. in reality, she just wants to dive into conrad and accept anything he has to give, but he needs to strengthen his own heart first. he needs to know what he wants. if y/n needs time, he will wait for her.

tags: @historygeekqueen @am-i-shit-or-am-i-the-shit @celesteblack08 @parkerdayaa @shelby-x

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ 28

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,995ish

Summary: The aftermath of the Battle of Alcatraz Island.

Warnings: Possible character death. Grief.

Notes: I know I said that I'm taking a break. I am. I'm focusing on taking care of myself. But I also got to take care of you all. Hopefully, this provides a slight distraction for any pain any of you may be feeling. (Also, I know the gif happened in the last chapter, but it can still work here...)

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks! 

The debris and water around the area quickly fell as Jean collapsed, dead. Logan spun around, looking for you. He couldn’t see you on top of any of the debris, making his heart sink.

“Y/N!” He screamed as he began using his senses to find you. “Y/N!” He caught a whiff of your blood and immediately began throwing debris. As soon as he could reach you, he pulled you into his lap. “Y/N? Sweetheart?” His heart dropped at the realization of how cold you were. “No.” 

He frantically looked for any sign that your body had begun to heal itself, but there was none. His fingers shot up to the pulse point at your neck, waiting with bated breath for something—anything to tell him that you were alive. He came up with nothing. 

“No, no, no, no, no!” Tears began pouring out of Logan’s eyes. “Somebody help me!”

“Logan!” Hank shouted, running towards Logan. “Logan, what—“ The blue, hairy mutant came stumbling to a stop. His eyes widened as he took in the scene of you limply laying in Logan’s arms with Jean dead a few feet away.

“Why is she not healing?!” Logan began panicking. What had happened that caused you to not be able to heal?

Hank broke out of his trance and rushed over to kneel on the other side of you. He placed two fingers under your neck and silently prayed for a pulse. His heart sank further with each passing second.

“Logan—“

“Do something, Hank! I need you to do something! Anything! I can’t lose her again!”

“I can find us a jet, perhaps get her back to the mansion. But, Logan, there’s no promises that she’ll… that she’ll wake.”

Logan shook his head, pulling you closer into his chest. “She’s not dead! She can heal!”

“She’s not healing, Logan.”

“No! You need to do something! You need to try! Or I swear to God that I will kill you.”

Hank gave a solemn nod. “I will go see if there’s a jet we can borrow.” Hank rushed off, worrying about how Logan would react if you didn’t wake up.

Logan’s eyes fell back on you. He began rocking back and forth. “I need you to wake up, baby,” he whispered, using everything in him to beg. “This isn’t funny. I know that I’ve made a shit ton of mistakes, but I can’t fix them if you’re not here… Wake up, sweetheart. Please.”

~~~

Hank was thankful to quickly find a jet that they could use. The X-Men piled up in it, steering clear of Logan and you. Hank brought Jean’s body on board, covering it with something so no one had to look. It was completely quiet the whole way back to the mansion.

“Logan,” Hank called once they had landed. “I need you to give her to me.” The Wolverine simply growled, holding on to you tighter. Hank sighed. “I can’t do anything with you holding her.”

“Work around me,” Logan snapped.

“I can’t do that.”

“Try.”

“Logan,” Ororo walked up, trying her hand with him. “We know that you love Y/N; we do too. But you have to let her go in order to help her.”

Logan shook his head. “What if I let her go. and she’s truly gone?”

“We don't know that until we let Hank try.”

After a brief second, Logan nodded, loosening his grip on you. Hank quickly took you and carried you off to the lab. Logan felt empty without you, sliding to the floor and breaking down. Ororo was quick to kneel beside him, trying to comfort him.

“I can’t—She can’t be—I don’t think I’ll—“ Logan’s mind was spiraling so fast that he couldn’t finish a single thought. “I should’ve stayed with her. I should have protected her… Ororo…” She sucked in a breath as Logan used her real name for the first time. “What if I’ve lost her?”

Though Ororo knew that Logan didn’t like physical affection from anyone besides you and sometimes Rogue, but she couldn’t help herself. She flung herself at Logan, holding him close. His head fell against her shoulder as heart-wrenching sobs began to wrack his body. Ororo rubbed Logan’s back as she let him cry. She knew it was pointless trying to say anything of comfort. She had seen you for herself and was utterly heartbroken at the thought of losing you after the loss of Scott, Charles, and Jean. But she didn’t love you in the way Logan did, for as long as Logan had. So Ororo would do what she could, which was to hold Logan as he let out his emotions while she said a silent prayer to whoever was listening.

~~~

Hank had to keep his emotions in check as he worked on you. The first thing he had to do was check to see if you had been injected with the cure without anyone’s knowledge. It was the only thing that he could think of for the reason why you weren’t healing, why you weren’t breathing. As Hank took a vial of your blood, he quickly realized that your blood was bubbling like it was boiling. He quickly began to run the test for the cure as he took another few vials, noticing the same thing: your blood was boiling.

Hank locked down the lab, not wanting anyone to enter if something was terribly wrong. He knew that Logan would fight it and could get in with his adamantium claws, but he had to take that chance. There was something going on with you. His only hypothesis was that Jean’s own powers had down something when she was controlling you. But what? 

Checking the monitoring for your stats, Hank noticed that your temperature began rising again, though you still had no heartbeat. 

“What are you doing, Y/N?” He muttered to himself.

It didn’t take long before Hank could confirm that you hadn’t been injected with the cure. He carefully monitored you, making note of your slowly rising temperature.

“Hank!” Logan yelled, pounding on the large lab doors. “Let me in!”

“Not a good idea, Logan!” Hank responded, not taking his eyes off the monitors as your temperature rose faster.

“I need to be with her!” The monitors began frantically beeping as your temperature rose to dangerous levels. Logan could hear them. “What’s going on?!”

“Stay out there!” Hank backed away as smoke began to lift from your body.

Logan sniffed, smelling the familiar scent of your smoke. He unsheathed his claws and before Hank or Ororo could stop him, cut a large hole in the lab doors. He rushed in, with Ororo right behind him, only to see your body go up in flames.

“NO!” He hurried forward only to be pushed back as your flames suddenly grew. “Y/N!”

“Storm!” Hank shouted. “Can you put her out?”

Storm shook her head. “I don’t know if I should.”

“Someone do something!” Logan yelled.

Abruptly, the flames that had engulfed you disappeared, leaving behind a heap of ashes where your body once was. Logan reached out, hands trembling over your ashes, before collapsing to the ground.

“No,” he breathed out. “No…”

Hank looked down, shoulders slumped as Ororo covered her mouth in shock. The two watched as Logan let a few tears trickle down his cheeks before his jaw clenched and his eyes closed. His hand found the dog tags tucked underneath his leather suit and tore them from around his neck. Logan’s eyes snapped open, with a cold, determined look in them. He stood up and tossed the dog tags onto the pile of ashes. Spinning around, Logan marched out of the room.

“Logan!” Ororo called after him, Hank following. “Where are you going?”

“This is not my home,” he sneered. “Not without Y/N.”

“That’s not true,” she shook her head, trying to get in front of the man. When she did, he simply stepped around her. “This can be your home. We care about you.”

“There’s nothing for me here anymore.”

“Logan, please… we all have lost enough. We need each other.”

“I do better alone.”

“No, you don’t,” Hank responded. “Don’t go, Logan.”

Logan paused for a brief moment, thinking about you. He was sure you wouldn't want him to be alone. But you weren’t here to stop him.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled before heading upstairs.

Ororo and Hank didn’t bother going after him, knowing that it was hard to change Logan’s mind. And that Logan needed time to mourn your death.

~~~

A week passed since the Battle of Alcatraz Island. Jean had been buried with both her and Scott given memorials next to Charles’. No one was ready to give you one yet. No one had set foot in the lab since you had turned to ash.

Rogue, now going by Marie, returned having taken the cure. She and Bobby finally got to touch, but her biggest concern was Logan.

Though no one had officially followed Logan, they had heard that he was at a nearby bar, drinking and fighting his way through his grief. Ororo and Hank made sure to keep tabs on Logan by bribing bar regulars and did their best to keep Marie from going to Logan. He wasn’t okay, and no one wanted her to see him like that.

“The President wants me to be the new ambassador to the United Nations,” Hank told Ororo one night. They were sitting in the Professor’s office, often finding themselves there at night when they couldn’t sleep. “He wants me in DC tomorrow to announce it.”

“You should go,” Ororo encouraged. “You’ve helped out so much. You need to get back to your own life.”

Hank nodded. “I should clean up the lab before I go.”

“We should put the ashes in an urn. Logan may want them one day.”

“Okay… I just wish I could understand what happened to her. Why did her healing abilities stop working? How did she turn to ash?”

“I do, too. For Logan’s sake.”

“Keep me updated on him, will you?”

“Of course.”

Hank wished Ororo goodnight and headed downstairs to find something to clean your ashes into. He immediately froze at the door when he arrived. The ash pile had grown, with a similar shape to yours. Slowly, he moved closer. All of a sudden, you gasped, shooting up. The ashes fell off of you and onto the floor, revealing your naked body.

“Oh, my— Y/N!” Hank exclaimed. 

He grabbed the lab coat from a nearby chair and rushed to your side. He draped it over your shoulders as he began to take in your form. There were no scars on your skin. It was like brand new.

“What—“ you cut yourself off with a cough. “What happened?” You glanced around the room. “Where’s Logan?”

“What do you last remember?” Hank asked.

“Uh… we were at Alcatraz Island. I was injured, I think… Jean got a hold of me, and then nothing.”

“Well, you died.”

“What?”

“You died a week ago.”

“No,” you shook your head. “That’s not possible.”

“I know, but somehow you died, and then when we got you back here, your body went up in flames. You turned to ash.”

“That’s… insane.” You looked around again, finally noticing the dog tags in your lap. You carefully picked them up. “These are mine and Logan’s. Where is he?”

Hank sighed. “He left after you turned to ash.”

Your heart dropped. “He left?”

“Yes, but we’ve been informed that he’s at a nearby bar, drinking away and cage fighting.”

“I have to go get him.” You scrambled off the table, the lab coat slipping off you.

“Uh, Y/N?”

“What?”

“You may want to put some clothes on.”

You looked down to find yourself naked. You picked up the lab coat and wrapped it around yourself. “Right. Thanks.”

“Be careful. Logan’s not okay.”

“That’s why I can’t waste another second.”

next chapter >

[mymoodwriting]

15.8k, yandere, manipulation, gangs, drugs, guns, needles, sedatives, car accident, alcohol, kidnapping, knives, pills, smut, non-con, dub-con, knife play, aphrodisiac, BDSM, sex toys, fingering, dry humping, gang bang, double penetration, restraints, supernatural power (@starillusion13)

“Welcome to Wingz Express, how may I help you?”

You pulled down your hood as you walked into the shop. The gentleman behind the counter was quite handsome, and more focused on the white cat in its arms. When he looked up at you he offered a smile, standing up.

“What can I do for you?”

“Uh… hi… I was wondering… how much could you give me for this necklace?”

You pulled your fist out of your pocket, holding it out and opening your hand to reveal a small gold necklace. The gentleman asked for your permission to take it and then proceeded to do so. He examined it for a moment up against the light and then handed it back to you, checking under the counter display case for something.

“So, tell me, why’s a pretty thing like you selling something so pretty.”

“I just need the money…”

“What for?”

“Nothing bad!” You quickly remarked. “Just for school… I need new books for the semester and… I don’t really have any other options.”

“I see.”

The gentleman got out a scale, turning it on and testing it out with a few other jewelry pieces. As he did that the door opened, a bell ringing to signify there was someone new entering the shop. You looked over to see another guy with a cap walk in, and before the shop worker could say their greeting he spoke.

“I’m back.”

“Welcome back, Hyunjae.”

“Oh, what do we have here?”

This Hyunjae gave you a smile before going behind the counter with the other, looking around for the item in question. Although you still had it.

“May I?”

The other held his hand out to you, and you handed over the necklace. He put it on the scale and noted down its weight. From there Hyunjae grabbed it and began examining it.

“So, how much are you looking to get?” The worker asked.

“Juyeon-”

“I’m not talking to you right now, Hyunjae.” Juyeon cleared his throat and smiled at you. “How much do you need?”

“Uh… if I could get a few hundred… that would be fine… although I don’t think the necklace is worth that much…”

“Well you’re in luck.” Juyeon grabbed the necklace, holding it up. “The craftsman ship on this is quite unique, the weight is decent, and it seems to be 14k, so I can give you about six hundred dollars.”

“Six… six hundred?”

“Too little?”

“I… no… if that’s what it’s worth… I had no idea…”

“Whoever gave this to you must have really cared for you.”

“I guess… it’s the only thing I have from my birth parents… before they passed away…”

“Oh, something with this much sentimental value… are you sure you want to-”

“I need the money for school… it’s okay…”

“If you say so.”

Juyeon grabbed a sheet of paper and pen, sliding it over to you. He asked for you to fill out your personal information, as they needed physical records of all transactions. He stepped away for a moment to get the money, counting it in front of you so you’d have no doubts. As he handed it over to you he kept his grip on it, confusing you. He reached into his jacket pocket and held out a business card for you, which you hesitantly took.

“What’s this?”

“If you need money, it might be better to get a job. We also run a delivery service and are always looking for new people.” Juyeon let go of the money. “Just a thought.”

“Thank you…”

You politely bowed your head and made your way out of the shop. Juyeon watched you every step of the way until you were out of sight. When he looked back he was met with Hyunjae’s death glare.

“What?”

“Six hundred dollars? Seriously? How much is that necklace actually worth?”

“About a hundred.”

“Juyeon!”

“What!”

“Sangyeon is going to kill you.”

“He can try.” Juyeon looked down at the paperwork. “Let me know when she calls.”

“You mean if she calls.”

“When.” Juyeon corrected. “She’ll call.”

“And how can you be so sure?”

“Cause I’m gonna make her mine.”

❤ 

You went to the shop early in the morning the day before classes started. You made it back to your dorm, ignoring the boxes you needed to unpack and just collapsing onto the bed. You were grateful you had gotten some money, hoping it’d be enough for books. Your stomach growled and you could only whine. You had two meal passes per day, and you’d rather save those for lunch and dinner. For a moment you thought to spend some of the money you had on breakfast, but you quickly shot the idea down reminding yourself you had to save every penny. After some more lounging around you heard your roommate come in, reminding you that you needed to unpack and get ready for the semester.

After the first week you had all necessary materials, and a few bucks left over. You kinda wanted to treat yourself, but you knew you shouldn’t be spending so recklessly. You’d spend your time in the library, working on assignments, or in your dorm. Even though you wanted to go out, even when classmates invited you, the only option you had was to stay in your dorm. It sucked, but you were used to it by now. Especially the morning hunger pains. Which were way worse after pulling an all nighter. 

You laid in bed the next morning, telling yourself you had to get up. You went about your morning routine, getting your things and when you put your phone in your pocket found a business card. For a moment you questioned it, but seeing the name on it reminded you where you had gotten in. The shop worker told you it would be best to get a job, and that they were hiring. You weren’t sure if you’d be able to do it though, considering you’ve seen a lot of delivery workers dropping off big heavy boxes. Not to mention the fact your schedule was all over the place. 

Then again you could do late evenings but you’d sacrifice sleep in the process. You groaned as you debated this, unsure what to do. In your current situation you were just getting by, staying at a constant with no real movement upwards. You were okay, but you could be better. Some money in your pocket would probably make you feel less anxious. Since you still had time before your morning class you decided to call on your way over, hoping to get some information and go from there. 

“Hello, Wingz Express, how may I help you?”

“Hi… I was calling to ask about your open positions.”

“Open positions?”

“Yes. One of your employees from the shop gave me a card, I believe his name was Juyeon. He told me you were hiring.”

“Ah, yes. So, what do you want to know?”

“Well, I was curious about the pay? Does it depend on the department or-”

“Thirty.”

“…” You stopped in your tracks. “Thirty… what?”

“All the work is basically the same, so I’d be paying you thirty an hour.”

“Thirty… an hour?”

“Is that not enough?”

“No! I mean, that’s great. Although, I’m a uni student so I could only really work late in the evening.”

“That’s fine. A delivery service is available 24/7 so that’s no problem. When can you start?”

“… just like that? No interview or background check.”

“It’s a delivery job, don’t need much, just you.”

“Oh… okay then…”

“You think you could come by later today? I know where I could put you.”

“Yeah, yeah I can do that. Does seven sound good?”

“Works for me. Can I get your name?”

“Y/n.”

“I’m Sangyeon, the owner. I’ll text you the address for the warehouse and when you come over ask for me.”

“Got it. Thank you.”

“I’ll see you later.”

When the call ended you found yourself staring at your phone. You easily got a job, and it paid very well. For a moment your heart fluttered with joy but then you thought about it. If it paid this much, and they were hiring, there had to be something wrong with the job. That killed your mood a bit but you told yourself it wouldn’t hurt to check it out. Besides, they were expecting you now so it would be rude not to show up. You put it all to the side for now focusing on your classes. You had an early lunch before catching a bus and heading to the warehouse. It seemed pretty empty, so you began to worry you were in the wrong place, but you saw some trucks with the Wingz Express stamp on it in the loading dock, giving you some reassurance.

You then saw a few people walking inside the building. You called out to them, but they didn’t seem to hear you so you followed them inside. It looked how you’d imagine a delivery service would have their warehouse stocked, rows and rows of items going up to the ceiling. Still, you didn’t see many workers around. You were starting to think this place was fairly new, it would explain why the pay was so high, they needed people. You cautiously walked around, looking for another employee, but it wouldn’t be long before you were called out.

“Ya! Stop right there!”

You turned around to see these two gentlemen walking over to you, concern on their faces. You merely offered a smile, trying not to be nervous.

“Hello.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m the new hire.”

“New hire? Seriously?”

“Uh, yes. I spoke with the owner on the phone and he-”

“Sure you did. Look, you seem nice, so why don’t we escort you out.”

“What?”

“We have no problem dragging you out if necessary.”

“But-”

“Guys!” A third voice boomed. “What is going on?”

“This girl says she works here. That she spoke with you on the phone.”

“I did speak with someone.”

You looked back to see who you believed to be Sangyeon approach. He came up to you with a smile and held his hand out to you.

“You must be y/n, it’s a pleasure to meet you in person, I’m Sangyeon.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too.”

“I’m glad you found the place, now let’s go to the office and get all the paperwork sorted.”

“Wait, why didn’t you tell us that-”

“It’s fine. Just get back to work you two.”

You followed Sangyeon to the office at the back of the warehouse. He brought out some papers for you to fill out, getting you a hat and vest as well. Afterwards he showed you around the warehouse, telling you about the company. They had been around for a while and as you suspected, only recently set up a location in this area. They pretty much delivered everything to anyone, so their services were sought after.

“I don’t expect heavy manual labor from you, so I’ll be partnering you up with Younghoon.”

You went over to the docks, Sangyeon introducing you to your new partner. He was happy to meet you, giving you a big smile as he shook your hand.

“Welcome to the team.”

“Thanks.”

“I expect you to take good care of her.” Sangyeon commented. “And show her the ropes.”

“Of course.”

“Alright, be safe, and let me know if anything happens. See you both later.”

Younghoon closed up the truck and playfully offered you the keys, but said you didn’t know where to go yet. You also mentioned you didn’t know how to drive which he assured you wasn’t an issue as no one really did deliveries alone.

“So, what’s up with you?”

“Huh?”

“Sorry, I worded that weirdly. Tell me about yourself. What do you do with your time, why the job?”

“Oh… well I’m a university student, and I need the money for my expenses… and to pay back my loans someday.”

“Your parents won’t help out?”

“I don’t have any…”

“Oh, my bad.”

“It’s alright. I was in foster care and did grow up in a nice home, it’s just… different…”

“You still live with your foster parents?”

“No, no, I live on campus in the dormitories. It feels more like my home that way.”

“Look at you, miss independent.”

You giggled. “I try.”

“Well, getting a job is a good step.”

“Thanks.”

You arrived at an apartment complex, going with Younghoon to get the delivery items. You had multiple deliveries in the building, and it would go faster with two people. Younghoon pulled out a small cart, handing you these paper bags with numbers on them. He got another cart and did the same, the two of you taking one and making your way inside the building. He gave you a list, and certain floors to attend to, as well as a walkie to keep in touch with, telling you the numbers on the bags corresponded with apartment numbers. You just had to place the bag in front of the right door and take a picture of it, followed by ringing the doorbell and moving onto the next. Pretty simple.

You did this with a few other apartment complexes, returning to the warehouse in the early hours of the morning. To your surprise you could hear music and cheering coming from inside. Younghoon seemed to know exactly what was going on and had you follow him. You saw a bunch of boys gathered around two others in forklifts, they were gonna race. Sangyeon noticed the two of you and came over. Younghoon told him everything had gone well and all deliveries were made. He was happy to hear, asking you how you felt with the work. It was good, and you were glad to help.

“You should stick around for the race.”

“I don’t think I should.”

“It’ll be fun. You can place your bet too.”

“I don’t really have money to bet…”

“Then how about this.” Younghoon suggested. “You bet an hours pay, and if you win, your paycheck gets doubled. You should have some fun with us too.”

“Uh…”

“It’s not much to lose.”

“Sure. I’ll play.”

If you were gonna keep this job, you should make an effort to get along with your coworkers. You joined in the crowd, going over to the front, and being told who the racers were. One was a gentleman by the name of Sunwoo, and the other Chanhee. You didn’t have much to go by so this was truly a gamble for you. In the end you put your money on Chanhee, and then the race began. The gentleman from the shop, Hyunjae, went up to start the race, doing a count down and dropping the flag. It was easy to get caught up in the energy as you watch the two go around the warehouse, and you were overjoyed when Chanhee crossed the finish line first. You screamed in joy and jumped into Younghoon’s arms. He spun you around until you came back to your senses and apologized.

“Congrats to you.”

“Sorry, I didn’t…”

“It’s okay, you were excited.”

“Y/n.” Sangyeon called. “Let’s get you your money, follow me.”

You went with Sangyeon to the office. He gave you a check for your first shift, and your earnings from the bet in cash. You kept yourself together as best you could, but it was hard to hide your joy.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you then.”

You returned to your dorm, tired but satisfied. A bit of a burden had been lifted off your shoulders. You cleaned up and went to bed. Even though you wouldn’t get much sleep you had the peace of mind that everything would be alright. In the morning you even treated yourself to a yummy breakfast before class. You went about your day with a slight skip in your step, and happily returned to the warehouse in the evening. While you made your way to the office you heard a honk and one of the forklifts came over to your side. You recognized the driver.

“Hello, I don’t think we got to properly meet last night.”

“Hi, I’m y/n, a new hire.”

“I’m Chanhee, your lucky charm.” He chuckled. “You made the right choice last night.”

“Thanks for winning.”

“It’s all skill. We should hang out sometime outside of work.”

“If I have the time.”

“Then keep me in your thoughts.”

“Y/n!” You heard Younghoon call. “You ready?”

“Coming! I’ll see you around, Chanhee.”

“Don’t be a stranger.”

Chanhee went off and you went over to Younghoon, going off to work. For the next few days it was the same routine. You went to the same places, and did the same job. Since it was late in the evening going into the morning, you rarely ran into people, although it did happen on occasion. These people usually just said hello, and moved on, but on one occasion things were different. Someone approached you, asking about their order. You were happy to help, and asked for their apartment number. You didn’t have anything on your list, so you used your walkie to call Younghoon and ask him about the situation. He had no record of such an order either.

“Sorry, we don’t seem to have your order. Perhaps you could-”

“Just give me one of the ones you have.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. These are for other people. And-”

“Whatever.”

The person just grabbed a random bag off your cart, and you quickly reached out to grab it as well. You were trying to explain this wasn’t for them, but the other party was not letting go. Eventually the struggle caused the bag to rip, multiple items falling to the floor, and a white powder exploding onto you. The other person immediately dropped the bag and ran, causing you to collapse to the floor. You were upset and as you got up Younghoon came to your side, helping you to your feet.

“Are you okay?”

“I guess. Sorry, one of the orders-”

“It’s fine.” Younghoon tried to dust you off. “There’s a small vacuum in the back of the van, why don’t you go get it and I’ll do some cleaning here.”

“Of course.”

You went down to the van and retrieved the vacuum returning to Younghoon as he got off the phone. He thanked you and got to work cleaning up, telling you they liked to operate like ghosts, not leaving a trace behind. He also told you not to worry about the order that was damaged, Sangyeon was already taking care of it. You continued with the deliveries together, although after a while you began to feel dizzy. You thought you were fine but your legs suddenly gave out. Younghoon was quick to catch you, holding you in his arms.

“Y/n? Y/n, can you hear me?”

You felt strange, as if you were floating on water. Younghoon’s voice sounded so distant, but you were trying to listen. All you could give him was a smile before your body gave out and everything faded to black.

❤ 

Your head was throbbing as you regained consciousness. It took a moment to register where you were, but as you sat up you could see that you were in the office back at the warehouse. You were relieved to be somewhere familiar, although you were alone. Besides the headache you felt fine, and when you checked the time you saw that your shift had ended half an hour ago. You felt terrible for what had happened, but at least it wasn’t bad enough that you needed to be taken to the hospital. It was getting late and you needed to return to your dorm, but you also wanted to check in with Sangyeon to apologize.

You grabbed your things and stepped out of the office, looking around the warehouse. The place was eerily quiet, yet you called out to see if anyone was there. As far as you knew the warehouse never really closed, so someone had to be around. While wandering around you noticed just how many boxes were stacked in the warehouse. You had never really looked into the type of things Wingz Express delivered, and after today’s incident you were quite curious. The boxes were labeled according to what they had, but you noticed the boxes higher up didn’t have a label at all. 

“You should be careful.”

You jumped when you heard a voice, looking over to see Chanhee up on some boxes looking down at you. If he had been there this whole time then he surely had heard you calling for someone, but just ignored you until now. He chuckled and apologized for startling you, hoping down.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, sorry for what happened.”

“It wasn’t your fault, you were just doing your job.”

“Yeah… so what is it that you guys deliver? What have I been delivering?”

“No idea, big boss Sangyeon takes care of all that. We deliver anything and everything, so who knows, not really our business.”

“I see. I should get going.”

“Right, you have class in the morning. I’ll show you out.”

“I was actually looking for Sangyeon.”

“He’s busy with something, but I’ll let him know you’re alright.”

“Okay, thanks.”

You made it back to your dorm in one piece, feeling a mix of exhaustion and annoyance. People just had to be so dumb and you were sure you’d get a pay cut for passing out on the job. For now though you just needed to sleep and worry about your classes. In the morning you still felt tired, but you had to get on with your day. Although as you were on your way to class you got a call from Sangyeon.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I’m alright. I do need to apologize for last night.”

“There’s no need. All that matters is that you’re alright. If you need anything, you let me know.”

“I will, thank you.”

“Since I have you on the line, could I ask something of you?”

“What is it?”

“I know you don’t usually work weekends, but if you ever have the time you’re always welcome to come by. I could use the help in the mornings and I’d pay you extra too. Which reminds me, I am paying you for your full hours for yesterday.”

“Oh you don’t-”

“I insist. You got hurt on the job and I need to take care of you. I know it’s early so I’ll let you go, but if you can come in this weekend please let me know.”

“Yeah, yeah I will, thanks Sangyeon.”

“Have a good day.”

“You too.”

❤ 

The weekends were normally your days off. You’d use them to catch up on assignments, or sleep, and maybe treat yourself since you had money to spend. Although you didn’t really have friends to hang out with. At least if you went into work you wouldn’t be alone, and you’d get some more money. So you decided to make your way over to the warehouse, greeted by happy faces.

“I’m glad you could spare the time.” Sangyeon commented.

“No problem. So, where’s Younghoon?”

“You won’t be with him today. I’m gonna have you help Kevin out. Nothing too crazy.”

“Sure. That sounds like fun.”

“I’ll take you to him.”

You followed Sangyeon through the warehouse, going back over to the loading docks. He brought you over to Kevin and introduced you.

“Pleasure to be working with you.”

“Same here.”

“Take care of her.” Sangyeon mentioned.

“I got it, boss.”

“Then I’ll leave you to it. Let me know if anything happens.”

“Will do.” Kevin playfully saluted. “So, I know you’re used to working the evening shift, but I promise the day shift isn’t too bad.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

“Truck’s already loaded so let’s go.”

You made small talk with Kevin on the drive, and the job was fairly similar. You were dropping off boxes to apartment buildings or stores. If there was no one to receive it then you set it down, take a picture, and send a message, just like before. The only real difference was politely greeting people around you. The uniform was simple too, which meant it was easy for people to recognize you.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?”

While heading back to the truck you were stopped by a group of girls, recognizing them from one of your classes. You weren’t exactly friends, but you knew each other to be more than strangers.

“What are you doing?”

“Just… working… I need some extra money so I thought I’d pick up a few shifts.”

“That explains a lot.”

“Huh?”

“Y/n.”

You looked back just as Kevin approached you, seeming out of breath. He placed an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close.

“This was our last stop, so we can go.” Kevin smiled and looked over at the girls. “Ladies, if you’ll excuse us.”

“What’s your name?”

“Sorry, I’m not that easy.”

Kevin pulled you along back to the truck. The other girls followed you for a bit, but Kevin didn’t pay them any attention. As you were on the road heading back to the warehouse your phone started pinning. The girls had your number from previous projects and were asking you about Kevin. Before you could even attempt to answer them Kevin snatched your phone.

“Ya.”

“I thought you were keeping me company.”

“Right, sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Kevin said. “Thanks for today, you were a big help.”

“No problem.”

“You got any plans for later?”

“No, not really. Why?”

“We’re having a party tonight down at our favorite spot. You should come.”

“You mean a club?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t really have an outfit for that.”

“Just wear something nice. You should come. Have a few drinks and relax, I’m sure uni must be stressful.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Would love to see you, consider it a work get together. You’d be able to meet everyone.”

“Uh… sure… there’s no harm.”

“Awesome. I’ll text you the details.”

Like you said, you didn’t have an outfit for the club scene, but found something nice. You were a bit nervous, but to your surprise the bouncer let you in without issue. As you stepped inside you could feel the music shaking everything. The lights were low and people were dancing and drinking in every direction. You glanced down at your phone, sending Kevin a message that you were here. While walking around you wound up running into your classmates from before.

“Y/n? Surprised to see you here, it’s not really your scene.”

“I… I know… it’s a work thing…”

“Oh, then maybe we can join you.”

“I’m not sure if you could.”

Despite the crowd you managed to see a familiar face, Chanhee, excusing yourself and trying to follow after them. You called their name, but you can’t hear much besides the music. Although you stopped when you came across two bouncers, realizing Chanhee had gone into a VIP section.

“Hello, I’m here with my friends and I saw one of them just went through here.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know we were doing VIP tonight.”

Your classmates had followed you and come up from behind, trying to sweet talk the bouncers. You weren’t exactly with them, but if they could help you get in then maybe it wasn’t a bad thing. Although you noticed another familiar face and called out to them.

“Kevin!”

“Y/n, glad you could make it.”

Kevin came over and told the bouncers to let you in, although your classmates weren’t allowed. They started pleading with you, but you weren’t sure what to say.

“Are these your friends y/n?” Kevin asked. “And be honest.”

“Uh… well… not really… we’re just classmates.”

“I see, well, ladies, I’m afraid VIP is invite only, have a nice night.”

Kevin wrapped an arm around your shoulder and led you deeper into the VIP section. You were brought over to a private area, seeing many more familiar faces. You got a simple drink from the bar there, mingling with your coworkers and meeting new people. Although some were definitely old faces.

“Y/n! Oh my gosh, it’s so good to see you.”

“Juyeon?”

“Yeah, how’ve you been? How’s the job?”

“It’s good, and the money has been a great help.”

“See, told ya it would work out.”

“Thanks again for the introduction.”

“My pleasure.”

You danced the night away, having a few drinks too. Not enough to be drunk, but you were a bit tipsy. Come morning things were winding down, and you definitely needed rest. Some of the boys offered you a ride back to the dorm, which you gladly accepted. They didn’t all drink as some were the designated drivers of the night. You cozied up in the back of a car, squished between Sunwoo and Eric, while Hyunjae took the passenger seat and Jacob sat behind the wheel. The drive was smooth, Eric having his face pressed against the glass while you leaned against his shoulder. You were half asleep and couldn’t really make out the voices around you.

“She’s so cute…” Hyunjae mumbled, looking at you through the rearview mirror. “Can we keep her? I know tonight-”

“You already know the answer to that.” Jacob interrupted. “We can’t just keep an innocent person around.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

The peaceful ride was suddenly interrupted as you were sent spinning, another vehicle crashing into yours. The car came to a stop when it crashed against the side of the building. All the windows were smashed and you had cuts from broken glass. You groaned as you looked around, seeing that the others were conscious too. Sunwoo was in your field of vision, talking to you, but you couldn’t really hear anything. Next thing you knew the door behind him was yanked open and he was dragged out. Then someone reached in and pulled you out of the wreck. You were laid on the ground, vaguely making out Haknyeon before passing out.

❤ 

You expected to wake up in the hospital, or maybe even in an ambulance. Instead you found yourself in the office back at the warehouse. You felt a few aches around your body, and your cuts stung, but you were fine overall. You slowly sat up, Juyeon and Sangyeon both there to tell you to take it easy.

“What… what happened?”

“Minor car accident.” Juyeon explained. “No one was seriously injured.”

“Shouldn’t we go to the hospital?”

“We’re fine.” Sangyeon assured. “But if you feel like-”

“No, no, I’m fine.”

“Glad to hear. Apologies though, we were supposed to take you back to the dorm, but we needed to make sure you were alright first.”

“I understand, thanks.”

“Why don’t you rest for a bit and then we’ll take you home.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Juyeon got up and got you a glass of water. You thanked him and laid down, feeling like a good nap would do you well as you still felt kinda dizzy and tipsy. Juyeon gave you a blanket and tucked you in on the couch, saying he’d come by later to get you and take you back to your dorm. You thanked him and closed your eyes, getting some sleep. You were out for a while before you opened your eyes again, feeling more clear headed. You found yourself alone in the office, figuring you might as well go look for Juyeon or one of the others. You found your things and headed into the warehouse.

You called out to the guys, but got no answer. Before you could try again you heard some noises and followed them. You saw the boys gathered around, laughing and smiling. You were about to make your presence known when you saw Chanhee hold up a gun and cock it. Your eyes went wide, seeing he wasn’t the only one with a weapon. You took a closer look at what the boys were doing. Besides weapons you saw needles, jewelry, and other types of contraband. It was clear you needed to leave on your own, and quietly. You took a step back and wound up knocking something over and making noise. You cursed under your breath, intending to run off only to bump into Kevin. He had an amused smile on his face, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Look who’s awake.”

“Ha… hi…”

“We were just gonna go get you.”

“Right… I would like to go back to-”

“What’s this?”

The others had come to see what the noise was, finding you with Kevin. You offered the boys a smile, but it was hard to act normal when you saw some of them holding guns.

“Hey… I… I was looking for someone… I need to get back to the dorm…”

“Juyeon.” Sangyeon sighed. “You were supposed to give her a laced glass of water.”

“I swear I thought I did.”

“Well clearly you didn’t.”

“Wa… what do you mean…” You nervously laughed. “I’m fine, and I’d really like to go-”

“I guess we get to keep her after all, Hyunjae.” Jacob commented. “Lucky us.”

“Yes!”

“Huh?”

“Grab her.”

Since Kevin was the closest to you he immediately grabbed your arm which caused you to act. You tried to run and free yourself from his grasp but his grip was tight. Then Younghoon came over and grabbed your other arm, the two of them keeping you from escaping.

“What are you doing! Let go!”

“We can’t do that.” Younghoon said. “Sorry.”

“What about the mission tonight?” Sunwoo asked. “Are we going to postpone?”

“No, it will proceed as intended.” Sangyeon stated. “Those bastards aren’t gonna get away with a stunt like that. And we also need to send a message.”

“Then what do we do about y/n?”

“We’ll keep her here until we get back. Put her in the cage for now.”

“What is that!?” You screamed. “Please, just… just let me go! I won’t tell anyone anything! I swear!”

“We should have made her drink more.” Chanhee said. “Things wouldn’t have gotten so complicated.”

“Probably. Now let’s move.”

You tried to argue some more but the boys just dragged you along effortlessly. You were taken further into the warehouse, coming over to the sortation area. You weren’t sure what this cage was, but you were a bit relieved when you saw it. In order to transport packages around there was this cage on wheels to make sure they were safe. Usually it was stacked high with packages but this time you would be put inside. It was hard to fight back as they locked you in. You expected them to use some sort of lock but instead you watched in disbelief as Kevin bent the metal together. He gave you a smirk and a wink.

“We’ll be back later. So stay put.”

You couldn’t resist the urge to try and break yourself free but the door wouldn’t budge at all. Your mind was still processing what had happened, but the proof was right in front of you. There was no way someone was physically strong enough to bend metal the way Kevin just did, but you were living in that reality. You screamed at them to let you out, but none listened and just walked away, leaving you trapped and completely alone. You kept trying to free yourself for a while, but eventually you exhausted yourself. You collapsed and sat in the cage, contemplating your next move.

These guys were something else, and you didn’t know them at all. Now you were their prisoner, and you were certain they wouldn’t easily let you go. Since it was quiet and you were settling down from everything that had happened, exhaustion was catching up to you. Without really meaning to you wound up falling asleep. You didn’t know for how long you were out, but you woke to the rattling of the cage. You jumped awake and quickly scrambled against a corner, seeing Chanhee grabbing onto the cage and giggling.

“You look good in there.”

“Let me out!”

“Sure, but no running away, okay?”

“Whatever.”

Chanhee bent the metal back, allowing for the doors to be opened. You didn’t bother thinking about his insane feat of strength, but you were certainly surprised to see him holding his hand out to you. Reluctantly you took it, finally being able to stretch properly. You didn’t see anyone else around, so this was your chance. You offered Chanhee a smile before shoving him away from you and running in the opposite direction. Unfortunately you didn’t make it far as you crashed into Haknyeon, who you swear wasn’t there a second ago, and fell to the floor. You glanced back to see that Chanhee was still standing by the cage. Your shove really hadn’t thrown him off balance at all.

“What did I say?” Chanhee teased. “No running away. It’s pointless either way.”

“Please just let me go…” 

“We’re going home now, so don’t worry.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

Haknyeon helped you to your feet, distracting you as Chanhee came up from behind and jammed a needle into your neck, emptying out its contents into you. Your eyes went wide, and Haknyeon held you still. Once the needle was removed you began to feel a bit dizzy, your legs losing strength. You could vaguely make out the smile on Haknyeon’s face as he lifted you up into his arms, carrying you bridal style. You tried to speak, to stay awake, but it wasn’t long before the darkness swallowed you.

“Let’s go home.”

❤ 

When you regained consciousness you felt a bit sore, but as soon as you had your head on straight your focus was on figuring out what happened and where you were. Unfortunately you couldn’t see much as your surroundings were pitch black. Not to mention your hands and legs were tied together, leaving you with a limited ability to move. So you carefully began to wiggle around, bumping into some boxes. Despite being close to the object, you couldn’t actually see it unless you got really close. Although this didn’t help you much as you had no means of freeing yourself.

A moment later you shake as the ground beneath you begins to move, and you hear the loud roar of a trailer. You were in the back of a truck and being moved to some unknown location. You tried to move around, screaming for help, but you eventually exhausted yourself, deciding to just wait and see what happened next. Since you had no concept of time in that darkness you had no idea for how long you were in there. There wasn’t even a point in trying to remember what turns were made. Eventually you came to a stop and heard the engine turn off. You were left to wonder if you had reached your final destination or if this was just a quick stop.

You heard the sounds of something unlatching, and then you were blinded by a bright light. You lifted up your arms to shield your eyes, taking a moment to adjust. As you suspected you were in the back of a trailer, and there were a bunch of boxes and other pieces of furniture around you. Being able to see it all now, this seemed like a moving truck. You heard voices and saw some of the boys climbing into the truck and grabbing boxes. Although before you could say something Jacob came up to you and tied a gag around your mouth. You began to squirm, but you were powerless in your restraints.

He got you up, getting help from Kevin as they moved you towards the end of the trailer, intending to unload you like the rest of the cargo onboard. You remained restrained as you got out of the trailer, being left with Younghoon for a moment. When you tried to get the gag off he grabbed the rope that bound your hands together, using that as a means to keep you leashed. You looked around, noticing the huge house. They had brought you to their place. All around you could see trees and a long driveway leading out to what you assumed was the main road. As far as you knew this place was in the middle of nowhere.

Younghoon suddenly pulled on your ropes, and the next thing you knew he had you over his shoulder. You squirmed and hit his back, but he seemed completely unphased. You weren’t super light, but even then he was carrying you so effortlessly. You were taken into the house, the others giving you smiles but not saying anything to you. Given the truck and all the items, you thought they were moving in, but upon entering the house you could see it was clearly lived in. This was their home. You were set down on the couch, Younghoon pulling out a knife and setting you free. He reached up and took your gag off as well.

“Welcome home.”

“What the hell is wrong with you guys…”

Younghoon chuckled. “Nothing, why?”

“You-”

“Here.” Juyeon came over with a case. “Before you do anything else.”

Younghoon took the case from the other, opening it up and revealing what looked to be a small dog collar. You immediately thought that was going around your neck, but Younghoon grabbed your leg, taking your shoe off and slipping the collar onto your leg. When you tried to pull away he just held on tighter, really unbothered by your actions. He tightened it around your ankle, and then you heard something click. You noticed a green light emitting from the device, realizing it was some sort of ankle brace, and he just placed you under house arrest.

“What the hell!”

“Don’t want you running off now.” Juyeon smiled. “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt you or anything.”

“I’m a prisoner in this house!?”

“You don’t have to think of it that way. This place is yours, and that’s just a precaution.”

“I want to go home!”

“We are home.”

“This place isn’t home.”

“I suppose you just have to give it a chance.”

“Fuck you!”

You got up and stormed off, just walking in any direction just to get away from them. No one tried to stop you, probably since you weren’t actually walking towards the door but further into the house. That wasn’t your intention, but at least none of them followed you. After walking a bit you went into the first open door you found. You closed the door behind you, leaning against it and taking a breath. This whole situation was insane, but they were acting so normal, or as normal as kidnapping someone could be. Now you were who knows where in a foreign house with no escape in sight.

You slid down to the floor, feeling defeated. You didn’t even understand how you wound up in this situation. You were just working for their stupid company and saw something you weren’t supposed to. Then again you were probably lucky to be alive. Most people who learn someone else’s secrets wind up dead, but this wasn’t exactly better either. You didn’t have your phone or any means to communicate with the world beyond this house. So in a sense you were dead to the world. You got up and found a window, staring out at the sky and then looking down at your foot with the ankle brace. 

You took a moment to further examine it, but you didn’t see any way to get it off. You really were trapped in this house. You sat back down on the floor, hugging your knees to your chest. You just wanted to go back to campus, go back to classes and be a normal person again. Your situation seemed hopeless, making you tear up, but you had to remind yourself this wasn’t the end. Surely there was a way out, and you were certain you could find it. If you gave up now, then you definitely wouldn’t get out. You took a moment to pull yourself together. This place was huge, but maybe you could find something to use to your advantage.

This would be a process, but you also didn’t intend to be friendly. For the following days you kept to yourself, not speaking to any of the boys, and avoiding them outside of meals. They tried to make conversation and engage with you, but when they saw you were unresponsive they left you alone. You didn’t expect them to just let you be, but you were still glad they did. You were allowed to explore the house as you pleased, discovering all kinds of things. They seemed to have huge collections of expensive and luxurious items. It made sense to have all these things as they did run a pawn shop and delivery service. They had access to so many things.

In that same vein, remembering the weapons, a handful of these items were probably stolen or acquired by illegal means. Seeing all these priceless items made you realize you were practically a living trophy in this house. Another prize they had won, or more accurately taken. It made you feel a bit sick, but you had yet to find something of use. Most doors around the house were open, so you could go where you pleased. Even the boys’ rooms were all open to you, but you already searched them. The room you had given was plain and empty. They told you that you could decorate it however you wanted, but you weren’t planning on setting roots here.

Only a handful of doors were locked and off limits, so you were extra curious about those. By now you had a good idea which rooms you couldn’t get into, so you’d always try to open them throughout the day, hoping to maybe catch one open. It took a bit, but you eventually got lucky. You quickly looked around to make sure you were alone, then slowly opened the door. You quietly listened, trying to figure out if anyone was inside, but it seemed to be your lucky day. You stepped in and didn’t even think to close the door as you realized what was in here. All types of weapons surrounded you. So many guns and blades hanging on the wall, a few things locked behind a cage, but this was what you had been looking for.

Surely something here could help you escape. Although before you could take another step you felt something cold against your neck. You were no longer alone. While you were distracted by your own thoughts someone noticed the open door and found you standing in one of their secret rooms. Of course it was only logical to assume you were an intruder and treat you as such. You swallowed nervously as you realized the object against your throat was a knife. You carefully looked over, seeing Eric gazing at you with a bright glint in his eyes and a cocky smirk. He only pressed the blade further against your flesh.

“Look what I have here. How did you get in here?”

“… the door was open…”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“… you… you think I picked the lock?”

“Hm, I suppose that’s true. So, what do you think?”

“… ah… about what?”

“This room. You must be terrified seeing all this, or perhaps excited. Although I’ll let you know right now, you’re out of luck.”

“I-”

“You better watch it.” Eric growled. “You wouldn’t want to get hurt.”

Eric chuckled and moved the knife away from your throat, although he merely had it ghost over your chest before moving it up to your face, dragging the dull end along your cheek.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.”

“…”

“In fact, I really want to do the opposite.”

“… huh…?”

Before you could really process what Eric was talking about he leaned in close and pressed his lips to yours. You tried to move away, but he followed, and ultimately pinned you against a wall. The knife clattered to the floor and he pinned your arms to the wall as well. He only pulled away from you when he needed to catch his breath. A big smile adorned Eric’s face as he pressed his head against yours.

“I’ve been waiting to do that.”

“… why…”

“That’s your question?” Eric chuckled. “You are interesting, but don’t you think the answer is obvious.”

“… is it?”

“Why do you think we went through all the trouble to bring you here, hm?”

“Cause I saw too much…”

“You mean all of this? No, no, if we cared for that you’d be dead.”

“Then…”

“Is it really that hard? I guess I should show you.”

“Wat-”

Eric shoved you to the floor, and soon enough he was on top of you, kissing you once more. His hands were at your hips, one slipping under your shirt, making you shiver from the skin to skin contact. Soon enough his lips were against your throat, sucking and nibbling on the skin, starting to mark you up. You squirmed beneath his touch, your hands above your head, moving about when you felt something against your fingers. It was the blade Eric had dropped. You cautiously reached for it, getting a grip on the handle. Just as you were about to make a move Eric’s hand quickly pinned down your wrist, a low chuckle escaping his lips.

“Did you really think that would work?”

Eric placed a chaste kiss against your cheek, keeping your wrist pinned and reaching over with his other hand to take the blade from you. He remained on top of you, using his body weight to keep you pinned. He twirled the knife in his hands, looking down at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“You know, we want to give you everything, and yet how have you acted? You’ve been avoiding us and giving us the silent treatment, and now you break into our little armory. I think it’s about time you’re punished for your actions.”

Before you could process Eric got off you and proceeded to flip you over, cuffing your hands behind your back. He got you to your feet, dragging you along, out of the room and down the hall. Soon enough you were in the living room, avoiding the gazes of the others who were around. Eric shoved you onto the couch and then the tip of the knife was under your chin.

“How do you think we should punish you?”

“What’s all this?” Sunwoo asked. “What punishment?”

“You know, for ignoring us, and breaking into the armory.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s cause for punishment. Not sure about the knife though.”

“Well, I need her to behave.”

“But there’s still no need for such things.”

Sangyeon entered the room, having gotten a message about the show going on in the house. Soon enough the others joined too and he could see how you tried to make yourself small. He didn’t want you to be afraid, or feel threatened by them, so seeing Eric playing around with a knife was very much not allowed. He went over to the younger boy and took the item from him, throwing it and embedding it in the wall.

“I wasn’t going to hurt her with it.”

“I don’t doubt that, but why don’t you play with something else.”

“Oh, what does the big boss have in mind?” Hyunjae asked. “I’d love to participate.”

“For starters, we have to set the mood. Jacob, you know what I mean.”

“I do indeed. I’ll be right back.”

“She also needs a party favor.”

“Why that?” Juyeon questioned. “Don’t you think that’s risky?”

“It’ll be more fun, for everyone.”

You had no idea what any of that meant, but you knew it couldn’t be good. There was no point even attempting to run off as everyone was in the room with you. A while later Jacob returned with a small case in hand, giving it to Sangyeon. The eldest opened it up, revealing a needle. You instinctively tried to move, unaware of what the contents the needle contained.

“We’re not gonna hurt you.” Sangyeon assured. “Hold her.”

Kevin and Changmin reached over to hold you still as Sangyeon emptied out the needle into your neck. You did your best to squirm, but there was nothing you could do.

“What is that! What did you give me!?”

“You’ll see soon enough.” Kevin teased. “Now the party favor, right?”

“Give her a moment.” Sangyeon said. “Then she can have it.”

“Have what? What are you guys talking about!”

“Just be patient.”

You cut yourself off before saying more as you began to feel different. Your face was beginning to burn, and you felt this heat overtaking you. Now it was obvious what they had given you, and it wasn’t hard to guess what came next. You couldn’t help but squirm in your restraints, starting to get annoyed by your own clothes, but unable to remove them. You felt rather pathetic too, giving in so easily to the drug, but it was really clouding your head and making everything fuzzy.

“Now for the next part.”

“I call dibs!” Chanhee volunteered. “Come here, baby.”

You were vaguely aware of Chanhee as he approached you, but you didn’t know what he was doing. That is until he leaned in to kiss you. At first you thought it was a normal kiss, his tongue forcing your lips to part, but then you felt something in your mouth, and before you knew it you had swallowed it. That got enough sense in you that you pulled away from Chanhee, immediately coughing and bending over, hoping to throw it back up, but that wasn’t an option. Chanhee placed a hand over your mouth, forcing you to sit back up.

“Don’t be wasteful.”

You were worried about what else they had added to the mix. Chanhee didn’t move his hand away until he was certain you wouldn’t be able to throw up the substance you had taken. You still coughed when you had a chance, but you knew it was far too late for that.

“What did you give me!”

“You’ll feel it in a moment.” Haknyeon giggled. “And you’ll like it.”

“… wa… what does that-”

You inhaled sharply as you felt this wave of energy surge through your body. There was the heat of arousal, but this was something else, something more. You were merely taking in the feeling when you snapped your arms free, having broken the chain of your restraints. You fell from the couch onto your hands and knees, shocked over what you had just done. You vaguely made out the sounds of laughter around you, looking up to see the boys with smiles on their faces. Your head was spinning, and you felt a hand on your shoulder which caused you to act. In the blink of an eye you had Changmin pinned beneath you.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“What… what is this… what did you give me?”

“Power.” Changmin chuckled. “At least now we won’t break you.”

The boy freed himself from your grasp and flipped your positions. He gave you a devilish grin before ripping your shirt open. Your hands immediately covered your chest and then you moved to shove Changmin off you. To your surprise you had the strength to do so, knocking him to the ground. He just laughed, not at all fazed by your actions. You stared at your hands again, seeing the remains of the handcuffs on your wrists. If you were really strong like them now, then this was your chance. Just as you were about to run, Younghoon came up from behind, wrapping his arms around you and holding you in a hug. You tried to break free, but he held you tightly, making you question your own strength and his.

“You may be strong,” Younghoon whispered. “But you don’t match us.”

Hyunjae stepped in front of you, his hands gliding over your bare chest. He stopped over your crotch area, his fingers undoing your shorts and a hand slipping into your pants. You squirmed back against Younghoon, but he held you still.

“You’re supposed to be drunk off love.” Hyunjae commented. “Shall I help?”

“Let go.”

“The surge of power probably overtook the aphrodisiac. I’ll fix that.”

You kept your squirming so Hyunjae opted to slide your shorts down, leaving you in your panties for a moment before having them torn off. You shivered from the sudden cold feeling, trying to close your legs but Hyunjae forced them open.

“Be a good girl now, or else you won’t get a treat.”

You couldn’t say anything as Hyunjae’s fingers ran up and down along your folds, making you hold back a moan. You weren’t knowledgeable in this area, and had little to no experience. There wasn’t much time, or interest in the matter, both from you and other parties. This was certainly going to be a first for many things. You still tried to move away, but the more Hyunjae played around with you the harder it was to think.

“… please…”

“Please what? I think you can still use words.”

“… please…”

“Are you a virgin baby? Don’t know what to ask for?”

“…”

“You are, aren’t you? Oh, don’t worry baby, we’re gonna take very good care of you.”

“I wanna do it! I wanna go first!” Chanhee volunteered. “Please, please, I wanna feel her so bad.”

“You guys can fight for it.” Sangyeon mentioned. “Winner takes all. I’ll keep the doll entertained.”

The boys agreed to Sangyeon’s proposal. The eldest took you into his arms, loving your dizzy little state. Your legs were trembling and you were whimpering over the lack of touch. Sangyeon pressed a kiss to your head.

“You good baby?”

“Hm…”

“We’ll play soon, just let the boys have their fun first.”

“We all still get a turn right?” Juyeon questioned. “Even if we don’t win.”

“I’m pretty sure she can keep up with all of us tonight.”

“Good.”

Sangyeon picked you up bridal style, following behind the others. You were subconsciously rubbing your legs together, trying to get back some friction. The moment of power you had was long gone from your mind, the heat engulfing every inch of your skin. It was getting a bit uncomfortable, but the little kisses Sangyeon pressed against your skin felt nice. In your haze all you could think about was them. Even if you had been brought here against your will they hadn’t been cruel to you in any way. They had given you space and let you roam around the house freely, but that was all about to change. You couldn’t fathom the consequences that would come tomorrow, nor did you care. You just wanted to be taken care of in every way possible tonight.

❤

You inhaled sharply as you regained consciousness, feeling a minor throb in your head. You groaned and pushed your head further into the pillow it was resting on, feeling a dull ache all over your body. Once you got yourself together you took in your surroundings. This wasn’t the room you had been given, but going by the decorations and mess, it certainly belonged to one of the boys. Your questions were answered as a hand draped over you and you saw Kevin laying next to you, still asleep or so you thought. He must have felt your gaze on him, or heard you whimpering.

“Morning…”

You didn’t answer, instead moving Kevin’s arm off you and getting out of bed. Although as soon as you stood up you felt dizzy and collapsed to the floor. You managed to catch yourself, getting your hands beneath you, but you winced from a sudden pain in your left hand. You looked down to see a butterfly tattoo on your wrist, one wing blue and the other orange, wrapped up as it was still fresh.

“What… what is this…”

“You might feel sick after your first time…” Kevin mumbled. “Bathroom’s on the left…”

“Huh?”

You weren’t exactly listening, more focused on the new ink you had, but as soon as Kevin mentioned it you felt an ache in your stomach and then you threw up. Kevin groaned when he heard the noise, mustering up the strength to get up. He came over to the other side of the bed, seeing you on your hands and knees.

“My poor baby, come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Kevin grabbed your arm and gently got you up to your feet, keeping you close as he helped you towards the bathroom. He sat you down on the toilet, getting a washcloth and holding it under warm water before using it to clean your mouth. You were out of it after throwing up, feeling unsteady and the headache had gotten worse. You probably figured this is what it felt like to be hungover since you never had alcohol before. Then again you hadn’t been drinking last night, something else entirely had happened.

“I know what will make you feel better.”

After cleaning you up and brushing your teeth Kevin helped you onto your feet again, leading you out of the room and towards the kitchen. The others were already up and gathering around for breakfast. A few didn’t hesitate to place a kiss on your cheek after greeting you. Kevin had you sit at the table, letting you put your head down.

“Rough morning?” Changmin questioned. “She doesn’t look so good.”

“She’s fine, but I’m gonna need to clean my room.” Kevin mentioned. 

“Yikes. Well, you choose to take her.”

“It’s whatever.”

You were vaguely aware of all the boys around you, feeling more tired than anything else. You had your arms on the table, and you looked over at the tattoo on your wrist. A part of you still thought you were just imagining things, but the throbbing ache from it told you it was very real.

“Here.” Jacob placed a glass on the table in front of you. “You’ll feel better once you drink this.”

“What is it…”

“Just drink it.”

Jacob helped you sit up, and he held the glass up to your lips. It looked a bit like a watered down blue sports drink, but you parted your lips when you felt the liquid against them, getting a sweet taste and having a few gulps.

“Good girl.”

Your headache certainly wasn’t as bad anymore, so you had no trouble sitting up. Two of the others were finishing setting the table, and the smell of eggs and rice filled the air. You were certainly hungry, but now that you could think straight there were other things on your mind.

“What happened last night…”

“You don’t remember, baby?” Sunwoo chuckled. “Did we fuck you that good.”

“… you… we… we did…”

“You were asking for it by the time we actually got started.” Eric commented. “You were so needy like a bitch in heat.”

“Shut up.” You felt your face burning. “I… I…”

“No need to be shy, baby, we had a good time.”

“I don’t remember…”

“It’ll come to you.” Hyunjae stated. “Just give it a minute. If not, well, I don’t mind jogging your memory.”

“Don’t…”

“Why? You certainly weren’t denying any of us last night.”

“I…”

As the conversation kept going you felt yourself getting nervous. The night must have been insane if you didn’t remember it, especially considering the fact you got a tattoo. You wanted to remember, you had to, because besides the obvious there was something else. You shut your eyes to focus, and when you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder you jumped, falling out of your seat. That’s when you had a rush of images flash through your mind. Your whole body suddenly felt hot and you remembered what had caused all the aches and pains from last night.

Sangyeon held you close as the others fought for the chance to be your first. He had you on his lap straddling his thigh. He couldn’t help but bounce you up and down, hands on your hips guiding you as he had you gently grind on him as well. It wasn’t long before he had a tent in his pants, but he had enough self control to not act on his own urges. He wanted to make sure his boys still had their reward. You on the other hand were full of sugar, drooling a bit and feeling like cotton candy. You had your eyes shut and head thrown back as you let Sangyeon take control, keeping you so well balanced on the edge. You weren’t aware of the fight going on, more focused on yourself until you felt a kiss on your head.

When you opened your eyes you saw Haknyeon smiling down at you. For a moment you swore he had a busted lip and cut on his cheek but those seemed to fade away right before your eyes. He was out of breath but very happy to see you. He took you from Sangyeon, throwing you over his shoulder and smacking your ass before walking off with you. He took you to his room, tossing you onto the bed. Before you knew it he was on top of you, kissing you roughly and exploring your naked body. You didn’t really feel cold, the heat of arousal kept you warm and now you had Haknyeon to provide you with more warmth. 

He had his way with you for a good while, the feeling of his cock sending you spiraling into your first orgasm. You didn’t need much prep as Sangyeon had already got you feeling loose. Another orgasm or two later there were knocks at the door. The winner had gotten his prize so now it was time for the others to have their fun. Juyeon was the one to drag you out of bed, surprised you could still walk on your own. Despite already having a few orgasms you still had the strength and stamina to keep up, although you were more concerned with getting your next high.

You happily went with Juyeon, getting messy with him in his own room. He was excited to show you new things, wanting more than just vanilla sex. Although he wasn’t alone, having Changmin and Chanhee in his room waiting for you. There were hands all over your body, massaging your breasts and thighs as wet kisses were placed all over you. With all that attention you were getting lost in the feeling of pleasure. The only thing that took you out of it was when you felt someone penetrate your core. One after the other stretching you out and making you feel a joy you couldn’t describe. You don’t know how you managed to take on all three of them, but you made it through their endeavors.

The night was still young, and you weren’t done with them. While you lay among the boys, splayed out on the bed, finally getting a moment to rest you felt a hand caress your cheeks. You opened your eyes to Kevin coaxing you awake. He took your hand and pulled you out of the giant cuddle pile, asking if you were having fun. By then words were difficult, but the smile on your face spoke for itself. You two danced around the hall since you were starting to get uneasy on your feet. You were probably heading over to Kevin’s room, but your arm was suddenly grabbed and you were yanked into Hyunjae’s arms. He had started you off early that night, and it was about time he finished that up.

His fingers trailed along your sloppy center, feeling just what kind of mess you had between your legs and eager to add to it. Of course Kevin wasn’t just going to let him have you all to yourself, shoving the two into the nearest bedroom, getting out of his clothes in the process. Everyone’s kiss was unique, some gentle, some rough, some desperate and hungry for you. Hyunjae was the first one to add to the festivities, tying you up against the bed and limiting your movements. You were already feeling sore, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him. While Hyunjae continued to play with your sloppy cunt Kevin was preparing something else.

You felt him trail his fingers along your lips, teasing you before pushing two digits into your mouth. Instinctively you knew to suck on them, letting your tongue swirl around. Kevin was quite proud to see you acting appropriately, and for that you deserved a reward. He pulled his fingers out with a loud pop, letting you whine for a bit before putting something much bigger against your lips. You opened your mouth without question, taking in his whole length inch by inch. Then you felt Hyunjae filling you up, getting stimulated from both ends. You let them take control, just floating on cloud nine as they got another handful of orgasms out of you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head multiple times.

Once you were finally wrapped up in Hyunjae’s arms you were really feeling sore in your legs and jaw. You did want to rest, but as you were dozing off a hand came down and pulled your head off the pillow. You were met with Eric’s piercing gaze, seeing a rather psychotic glint in his eyes. Of course you weren’t gonna get off easy, he still had to punish you for you breaking and entering. You probably should have explained to him at some point you found the door unlocked, but that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, nor would it matter to him. Despite Hyunjae’s protest Eric took you to his own room.

Although it wasn’t long before you were joined by another. Sunwoo had crawled into bed, pulling you into his arms and snuggling against you. He wanted to be soft and sweet but Eric had other plans. Took a bit of talking but he got Sunwoo on board. Next thing you knew you were on top of Sunwoo, barely able to make out his words of praise. His hands ran up and down along your chest, taking your breasts into his hands and massaging them ever so gently. You mewled at his touch, gently rocking your hips. You were exhausted, but your body still craved more friction. Eric placed his hands on your hips, guiding you down onto Sunwoo’s cock, making sure you took in everything.

He gave you a moment to revel in the feeling before bending you over. You didn’t know what he was planning until he pushed himself into you right alongside Sunwoo. The stretch was like nothing before, and you swear you saw white for a moment. You leaned back against Eric, giggling as he whispered dirty things in your ear. They gave you a moment to adjust and really feel them before they started moving. They tried to be gentle and slow at first but their own burgers got the better of them. You felt like they were tearing you apart, but in a good way. Your orgasms all blended together, and all you remembered was ending up sandwiched between them, still full with their cocks and cum while you all wound down from your high.

One moment you were in bed, the next you were in someone else’s arms. You could barely make out Sangyeon as he carried you bridal style, but the smile was obvious. You snuggled against him, not wanting to let go when he set you down. You felt hands on your body once more, and not just too. A hand grabbed your chin and you locked eyes with Jacob. He had such a content smile on his face, placing soft kisses all over you. The eldest of the bunch had been patiently waiting to finish you off. You were already at your limits but they pushed you past that, taking you in whatever way you saw fit. 

Younghoon had you bouncing up and down on him, making deeper bruises on your hips. Jacob was gentler and such a tease as he took you from behind while you stayed on top of Younghoon, letting the other watch the show. Sangyeon though, he dragged you out of bed and took you against the wall, surprising you with his strength and resolve. He didn’t let up, making sure you were still enjoying yourself even if you were so far gone. It wasn’t easy to close your legs, and you felt so full you swear your stomach was a bit bigger. You thought you’d finally get to sleep, but you weren’t going to be left alone just yet.

You could vaguely recall Sangyeon getting you into a bath with him, cleaning you up and making sure you were well cared for after such a night. Kevin had found the two of you and helped with getting you dressed. Everyone else was mostly out for the night. Kevin’s room was one that wasn’t used to so he offered to share his bed, happily taking you with so the two of you could sleep together. You didn’t hesitate to snuggle against him, still feeling sore but glad to finally wind down and rest. It was quite impressive you made it through such a night. You knew you’d probably be all kinds of bruised tomorrow, but that was a problem for later.

You couldn’t help the dopey smile on your face as you remembered all of this, all the things you had done the night prior. It was like nothing you had ever experienced before, and you didn’t even know if you’d get close to it ever again. Although you quickly had to tell yourself to get your act together. Even if you now remembered what you had done, you could look back and see what was bothering you. The boys had given you an aphrodisiac, but there was something else too. You sat up, lifting up your shirt and seeing that you had no bruise or marks of any kind. Your skin was untouched, but you knew that shouldn’t be the case. While you were lost in your own head Juyeon and Eric helped you get back in your seat.

“Are you okay, baby?” Eric asked. “Did you remember something?”

“Last night…”

“Oh, that’s good. Wouldn’t want to be the only one to remember how capable you are.”

“What did you give me?”

“Ah that, it was good, right?”

“What was it!?”

“Power.” Jacob stated. “True power.”

“It was a drug.”

“So is ibuprofen, your point?”

“What exactly did you give me?”

“I already told you. Power. Don’t you remember? You broke the handcuffs with ease, you kept up with all of us. Despite how rough some of them might have been, you don’t have a single bruise on your body.”

“…”

“It’s temporary.” Younghoon assured. “You’re back to normal now. Although, if you ever want more, you just have to ask. Only the first one is free.”

You needed a moment, you needed to be alone. Without saying anything you left the table, finding the nearest open room and locking yourself inside. You felt a bit sick, coming to terms with the fact they had given you some sort of unknown drug. Now you only had the lingering taste of that power high. You didn’t want to believe what they had told you, but you had felt, and moreover you had seen it too. That night at the warehouse, the incredible strength they displayed, it was all real and now you knew how. Whatever drug this was, they used it a lot. You had your suspicions about their business, especially once you saw all the weapons. If they were some kind of gang in the area, they certainly had their advantage to stay in power.

All this speculation just gave you more reason to want to leave. Even if they were good to you, the kind of life they lived wasn’t something you wanted to be a part of. After that night you continued to avoid them, not wanting to form any kind of lasting attachment. They certainly gave you space, but were a bit more willing to try for your attention, especially since they had no problem getting handsy with you now. From what you did get, they seemed to be so fun, but you couldn’t just drop the idea of escape. Your biggest problem was that ankle bracelet you had, but it seemed the solution was around the corner.

One day you overheard a few of the boys talking about a potential party at the house. Of course you came up as a subject since they weren’t sure they could trust you to behave. A party would be a great opportunity, so you had to make sure you were allowed to attend. In order for that to happen you had to engage with them and socialize, show them that you could behave. You really had to let your guard down and be friendly with them. You rejected any advances they made and they respected that, probably very happy that you were done giving them the cold shoulder. Eventually the party came up in conversation around you, so you offered to help with planning and set up. They happily agreed.

You made sure a lot of alcohol was purchased, and intended to get them drunk. This was going to be your night, but in order to do this you needed one key ingredient. You needed the ankle bracelet off, and fast, and the only real solution you saw was that drug. You had broken handcuffs with ease, so with that kind of power you’d break the ankle bracelet quickly and then get out before they even knew you were gone. The only problem was that you had to ask for it, and not get denied. You didn’t see why they would say no, but you also needed to make sure you didn’t arouse suspicion.

The day of the party you helped with setting up, popping open a bottle of vodka and taking a small sip before pouring shots for the others. They happily took the drink you offered, cheering to a night of fun. You needed to pick one of them and you figured your best bet would be Eric. You kept your eye on him and waited for your chance. People were starting to come to the house, so you figured things would be getting started soon. You found Eric and got him alone, coming up from behind and wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He was a bit startled at first, but happy to see you, placing a kiss on your head.

“Eric.”

“Hm?”

“I want tonight to be fun.”

“It will be.”

“But you know what would guarantee it?”

“What?”

“If I got to be strong like the rest of you…”

“Ah, you want a special party favor, huh?”

“It should last me all night right? How else am I gonna keep up with all of you?”

“Good point, but promise you’ll behave.”

“Pinky promise.”

“Good girl.”

Eric took your hand and led you to another room. It was another armory they had, and he told you to stay put as he got something out of a safe. He presented a pill to you, telling you to open your mouth. Your plan had been to take it later when you were ready to act, but Eric wasn’t going to let you leave without consuming it. As far as you knew, it lasted a few hours, so you should be okay either way, but you were gonna have to act the first chance you got. You gave Eric a smile and took the pill. After a moment you felt this spark of power run through your whole body. It made you dizzy for a second but Eric assured you the uneasiness would pass and you’d be your normal self, just better.

Soon enough the party began and things got wild fast. You made it a point not to drink, but you still hung around the boys, wanting to engage with them for a bit before disappearing. As the night was getting on, you started to iron out the finer details of your escape. When you had a chance you glanced outside, seeing all the cars parked around. You considered taking one, but you didn’t know how to drive. What you needed was to get your hands on a phone, figure out your location and call a cab. With everyone around drinking and having a good time, it shouldn’t be hard to sneak a phone, and money, off someone.

You kept in mind the time, keeping an eye out for someone vulnerable, and occasionally testing your strength to make sure you were still able to break free. You stuck around those that were drinking, getting friendly with someone and managing to snatch their phone. You cautiously snuck away to get some privacy, finding a bathroom. You managed to unlock the phone and checked the address. Thankfully you weren’t so far from civilization and called for a cab. You had about fifteen minutes to get out of this house, and the first thing you needed to do was get that ankle bracelet off.

You sat down on the floor and figured out a good grip, taking in a deep breath before pulling and breaking the bracelet in half. You thought maybe some noise would be made or something, but it was silent. Lucky was on your side. You tossed the broken thing in the trash and made your way out of the bathroom, needing to get outside. Part of the party was in the backyard, but it wasn’t a good idea to go around, so you had to exit through the front. The door itself might not be the best, but you could give it a shot. If not, you had no problem jumping out a window. Thankfully you got away from the house undetected, checking the phone and then leaving it by a car before heading to the main road.

When you saw the lights of the cab you were finally able to let out a breath. It brought such relief to be moving away from the house, free from your captivity. The cab took you back to the only place you could go, to your uni campus. You had been gone for a little over two weeks, but hopefully nothing had gotten messed up in your absence. You knocked on the door for your roommate to let you in, not bothering to answer them about your recent whereabouts. You were so happy to collapse into your bed, even if it wasn’t as comfortable, feeling like you could finally get some real sleep. 

Thankfully a good amount of your things had been in your dorm room, but you would need a new phone, and new cards. Come morning you got to emailing your professors with some basic excuse of being ill and asking for assignments to make up. Out of curiosity you tested your strength, but you were back to being a normal person. At least you had money, so you could afford a new ID card, and even though you could afford a new phone, that involved leaving campus. You knew the guys couldn’t just waltz onto school property, and they didn’t know where your dorm was, so this was the safest place for you. By now they sure knew you were gone and probably pissed, which meant you were in danger.

Your best bet for now was to wait, just let this all die down and maybe they would forget about you and move on. The bright side to not having a phone was that they had no means of reaching you. As for your classes, you still had your laptop and could email classmates and do assignments. It was kinda hard going back to your lectures as if nothing had happened. Of course you had a decent amount of work to catch up on, and your grades were gonna take a hit, but at least you were free. Even if that was true, you did have this uneasy feeling. You felt paranoid, like you were always being watched. You couldn’t sleep that easy anymore, and you felt quite irritable. Still you did your best to just focus on being a normal university student.

“Nice tattoo.”

You were taking notes in a class when someone had made the comment. At first you were confused, but then you remembered the butterfly tattoo on your wrist. You never asked about it, not remembering how you got it anyway. After that night of passion you were out cold, and they had probably done it then. It was the least of your worries and even now you had completely forgotten about it until someone brought it up. The tattoo wasn’t a bother, but it wasn’t your thing, nor did you want any sort of connection to them. You did a bit of research and made a call to set up an appointment with a tattoo artist to have your tattoo removed. It was risky to go out, but you wanted that thing gone.

You made sure to cover up and hide your face, constantly checking your surroundings to make sure you weren’t being followed. This little outing of yours was dangerous, but if it wall went down in one piece you could probably start to relax. Since you were out, you figured you could get a new phone too. After the tattoo removal of course. Thankfully you made it to the shop without issue, introducing yourself and being moved to the back. You were glad there weren’t any windows where you were seated, so you felt less worried about removing your jacket, hat and mask. The chair you were in was like a dentist chair, but it was quite cozy.

“Alright, I’m Hongjoong, I’ll be your artist today, although I believe you’re here for a tattoo removal.”

“Yeah, just a crazy night, and I made a mistake.”

“No worries. Can you show me where the tattoo is?”

“Sure.” You rolled up your sleeve. “It’s this.”

“Oh…”

“Is there a problem?”

“No, no, not at all. It’s pretty.”

“I want it gone.”

“Yeah, of course. I will need to strap down your arm though.”

“What!?”

“Removing a tattoo isn’t painless and considering it is on your wrist, I don’t want you moving too much during the process.”

“Ah, that makes sense. Alright then.”

“Good. Just give me a second.”

Hongjoong got up and disappeared for a moment, coming back and using a belt to strap down your arm. He made sure it wasn’t uncomfortable, and that it should allow him to work without issue. He got up once again, giving you a chance to collect yourself. Although when he returned he grabbed your other arm and strapped it down as well.

“What are you doing!?”

You tried to fight him, but your other arm was already restrained. Hongjoong didn’t answer you, he just made sure you couldn’t escape and then left you alone. You screamed at him, then started crying for help, hoping someone else would come, but there was no one. You continued your attempt of escape, but it got you nowhere. When you heard the door you started screaming again. You heard footsteps approaching, thinking you were finally gonna get some help but you immediately went silent when you saw who approached.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here.”

“I didn’t harm her.” Hongjoong commented.

“Good. I’m glad we’re still on the same page.” Sangyeon chuckled. “Care to explain yourself, baby?”

You didn’t want to meet Sangyeon’s gaze, but you could feel his eyes digging into you. He didn’t need a response from you. Instead he had the other boys gag you and then untie you, dragging you out of the shop. You wound up in the back of a car, sandwiched between Changmin and Younghoon, knowing very well their strength outmatched you, so there was no escaping them. Of course you wound up back at that house. You were dragged inside and taken down below, thrown into an empty room. You got the gag off yourself and tried to run for the door, only to get tossed back.

“What the hell were you thinking!” Sangyeon yelled. “Did you really think a stunt like that would work!?”

“I got out of this house, didn’t I?”

“Oh, aren’t you quite cocky for a dead girl walking.”

“What?”

“You’re doing much better than we thought.” Hyunjae mentioned. “We thought you’d be hospitalized by now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Did you forget again?” Eric questioned. “The night of the party you asked for power. I should have known better.”

“You were the easiest target.”

“You bitch!”

Eric wanted to get a hit, but he was held back by Juyeon and Sunwoo. You were putting on quite a brave act, but the truth was you were terrified. You had done well to avoid their grasp, but in the end they still caught you.

“What the fuck do you guys want with me! And what’s with this talk about death? Are you gonna kill me this time?”

“Oh no, none of that.” Jacob said. “But the truth is you are dying. Haven’t you felt it?”

“Felt what?”

“The withdrawal.”

“Huh?”

“What? You think taking drugs doesn’t have its consequences?”

“I…  what?”

Chanhee chuckled. “After using the drug you’re supposed to take something else to negate the side effects. Remember the little hangover cure we gave you the first time?”

“… why didn’t you tell me this!”

“Why would we? It’s a means of keeping you in line.”

“You-”

“It seems it hasn’t hit you that hard yet, but it’s only gonna get worse. Surely you’ve had trouble sleeping by now, maybe feeling irritable and jumpy? It’s the withdrawal.”

“…”

“You’re gonna start feeling really sick soon.” Juyeon mentioned. “And it’s possible to get to a point of no return. We wouldn’t want you dying, now would we?”

“Where is it! Where’s this cure of yours!”

“Do you seriously think we’re just gonna give it to you? After the stunt you pulled?”

“You’re the ones who knowingly put my life in danger!”

“You asked for it. You asked for all of it. A night of passion like never before, and a night of power. Don’t blame us.”

“Fine. What do you want?”

“Seriously?” Haknyeon questioned. “Is it not obvious?”

“Amuse me.”

“You, silly. We want you, and we’ll do anything to get you back.”

“So if you want your cure.” Kevin added. “No more running away.”

“And if I refuse?”

“Oh, you really wanna play with your life? We can always come back to this conversation when sunlight starts to hurt you.”

“Wait.”

“Hm?”

“I… I’ll stay… but…”

“This isn’t a negotiation.” Sunwoo stated.

“I want to go back to school.”

“What?”

“I still want to be able to study and get my degree. You can drop me off and pick me. I won’t-”

“I said-”

“Sure.” Sangyeon interrupted. “Why not.”

“Sangyeon-”

“Hand it over.”

The others stared at Sangyeon with questioning looks, not really agreeing with his decision, but he wasn’t gonna hear anything else. Jacob came over and handed him a water 

bottle with a similar blue sports drink color. Sangyeon opened it up and handed it to you.

“Drink it. Every last drop.”

This was what they had given you last time, so you did trust it. You emptied out the water bottle, immediately feeling this tension leaving you body. Perhaps all your worries weren’t just in your head, but part of the side effects to this drug of theirs.

“Better?”

“Yes.”

“Now we can talk.”

“Wat-”

You were suddenly shoved up against the wall, hand around your throat. Sangyeon had you pinned, glaring daggers at you. It was hard to breathe, and you tried clawing at his arm but he didn’t budge at all.

“You know, the second you broke that ankle bracelet we knew, but our guests kept us distracted so you got very lucky. That won’t be happening again.”

“I… I’ll… I’ll come… back…”

Sangyeon chuckled. “It’s funny you think I’m actually letting you set foot outside this house again.”

“You… you-”

“I make the rules here. The thing is, you just don’t get it.”

Sangyeon grabbed your arm, holding up your wrist to show you the tattoo you had. He leaned forward to place a soft kiss on it.

“This right here, it’s how we found you. It’s our mark, it lets everyone know who you belong to. Our people are everywhere, so even if you did end up in the hospital, you’d wind up right back here where you belong with us. It doesn’t matter where you go, we will find you.”

Sangyeon dropped you to your hands and knees and you gasped for air. You coughed as you tried to steady your breathing, realizing everything else that had been said previously was a lie. There was no getting out of this place, not again. After a moment Sangyeon kneeled down and grabbed your chin.

“Baby, I want you, even if I have to hurt you.”

“… why…”

“Cause you came into our lives, and you’re too good to pass up.”

“… please…”

“Don’t lie to yourself. As if you truly want to leave and return to that boring life of yours. Stay. Let us take care of you and treat you the way you deserve.”

“…”

“You’ll come around. In the meantime.” Sangyeon pulled out a pill. “Take this.”

“I… you just…”

“An ankle bracelet won’t work with you, so might as well use different means. Go on now.”

There wasn’t much of a choice here. If you didn’t do it willingly you knew Sangyeon would force it down your throat. So you took the pill, feeling that spark once more.

“Good girl. You can keep up with us better this way, and now you know you won’t last long out there if you were to leave again. Which is not gonna happen, right?”

“No…”

“I need you to say it.”

“I won’t run away again…”

“Good. You won’t regret meeting us, I promise.”

“I do.”

“Watch it. You don’t want us to test your limits again, do you? Or maybe you do. I don’t mind having a brat in this house.”

“… sorry… I… I didn’t…”

“Much better, although we do need to carry out your punishment for running away. Last time was nothing compared to this, so I hope you’re ready. You won’t be sleeping tonight.”

[cinnnamongrl]

sorority secrets- ellie williams (part 1)

pairing: college!ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: ellie williams has never been the 'sorority type'. but when she meets you, she realises maybe spending college as a part of eta alpha rho isn't so bad.

warnings: [18+ MDNI] explicit language, suggestive themes/language, mentions of dating men, alcohol, small mentions of homophobia. [this series will contain smut later on- warnings will be listed accordingly]

author’s note: i’m really excited for this series hehe it’s gonna be a few parts. hold on tight bc there is drama and hot lesbian sex to come (my two favourite things).

ellie williams doesn’t like sororities.

she likes savage starlight comics, she likes video games, she likes getting high and watching space videos, she likes when cats do that slow blink to show they’re comfy with you.

she does not like sororities.

and yet here she stands, in the main room of the eta alpha rho house, 5 minutes from meeting the other girls who had been accepted into the campus’s most well known sorority. dread was resting heavy in ellie’s stomach. she didn’t want to fucking be here. what even was a sorority anyway? forced friendship with a bunch of prissy straight girls? no thanks. she’ll pass. she had only one person to thank for this bullshit; ellie’s step-sister brittney. perfect brittney. tall, blonde, president of eta alpha rho brittney. if brittney wasn’t so… brittney, then ellie’s step-mom wouldn’t be blackmailing her into a college sorority, threatening to cut her off if she couldn’t show willingness to follow in your family’s footsteps and become a respectable eta alpha rho lady.

“can you try not to look like you’d rather be drowning in a pool of piss than be standing here?” brittney’s shrill voice broke ellie’s flow of thought. “no can do i’m afraid” brittney scoffed dramatically. “i don’t want you here either, you know. it was my mom’s idea, not mine. i think you’re perfectly suited to staying in your dorm all year with your weird stoner friends” she spat. “well then, we can agree on one thing” ellie shot her a sarcastic smile.

brittney strode towards the eta house door as the first few girls arrived. ellie looked down at her feet and then looked to her right. she walked over to the sofa, deciding she’d feel less awkward if she was sitting. less aware of her body now, she was able to form her (shallow, but oftentimes correct) initial thoughts on the girls she was going to be ‘sisters’ with for however long she survived this little group.

cute…

won’t last 2 weeks with brittney…

definitely films herself shotgunning white claw…

woah.

you walked into the room and a nervous tingle rested at your fingertips. the sound of excited giggles and shy greetings settled in the background and you allowed your eyes to scan where you stood; pink wallpaper, a framed photo of an older but still glamorous blonde woman, grand staircase, white sofa, girl sitting on said sofa. is she… part of the sorority too? didn’t see her during rush week. beat up converse, white vest and a short sleeved grey shirt, large tattoo covering her right forearm… pretty freckles. you still weren’t sure if this girl was even part of eta but something in you was pushing you to go and sit next to her.

“hey” you offered a smile as you sat beside the girl. “what’s your name?”

ellie sat up a little straighter and cleared her voice. “ellie.” be cool ellie. “what’s yours?”

you told her your name and she nodded. something about the way she was looking at you put you on edge a bit; it made your stomach feel fluttery and hands slightly damp.

“are you… in eta alpha rho too?” you asked. she chuckled “why, do i not look like i am?” you shook your head defensively “no no i just- you-“ “it’s fine. yeah i am. my sister is the president of the sorority, ‘s why i’m here”. you nodded in understanding.

you talked for a little while longer and to her frustration, ellie couldn’t figure you out. past ‘woah’ she couldn’t make many initial judgements. sure, you looked the part; pretty, smiley, white dress short enough to show off your body but not too short that grandma would disapprove. but from the short conversation ellie could not see why you’d be interested in eta alpha rho.

truthfully, you didn’t really know either. your friends back home had gushed about the concept of being a sorority sister, and your parents were… traditional. their daughter in a good college with good grades in a respectable sorority, dating a nice young man from the college’s fraternity was their dream. just like they had done. to be honest you weren’t really interested in sororities and frat boys, you wanted to stay focused on keeping up your perfect grades and securing your future; that’s what college was about after all. however if being part of eta meant getting into fun parties and having a group of girls who always have your back then why not?

“AHHH there you are!” a girls voice interrupted yours and ellie’s conversation and you looked up to see a girl standing over you with a wide smile. “brittney just told me I’m your sorority big sister! my name’s emilia. welcome to eta alpha rho” she put a gentle hand on your shoulder and then averted her gaze to ellie “ellie, good to see you again!” ellie gave her a smile back. “i want you to meet some of the other girls, c’mon” emilia took your hand and pulled you from the sofa into a crowd of girls.

a flash of annoyance shot through ellie at brittney’s friend taking you away. she didn’t really know why, you were probably going to end up becoming one of brittney’s bitchy friends who all pretend to like each other but fuck each others boyfriends behind their backs. she relaxed her body back into the sofa, and watched you. watched the lines appear around your eyes as you smiled, let her gaze travel down to your thighs, noticed your nails. red and short. gay? she promptly pushed the thought away. she let her eyes run back up to your face, your lips and oh fuck she’s looking at me- ellie averted her gaze to the vase on the table in front of her and mentally slapped herself. don’t be a perv, jeez. acting like you’ve never seen a fuckin pretty girl before.

~~~~

you laid on your dorm bed trying desperately to focus on the episode of yellowjackets playing from your laptop and keep your eyes from closing. the eta meet had drained you and although it wasn’t late you felt ready to call it a day. your phone buzzed and after a few seconds of debate you decided to pick it up.

you sat up straight and pushed your laptop away from your lap.

you locked your phone and the black screen revealed the somewhat silly image of you smiling in your reflection.

~~~~~~~~~~

“truth.”

the game had been going on for maybe 10 minutes, and ellie was losing the will to live. you hadn’t showed yet and ellie was 1 “i dare you to text your ex” away from getting up and leaving.

“where’s the craziest place you’ve ever done it?” a red haired girl asked the girl beside her. after a moment of pause, “denny’s parking lot”. a fit of giggles erupted but were quickly drowned out in ellie’s ears when you walked into the room and took a seat next to her.

emilia gave you a quick wave and smile and you returned it.

“late to your first eta social. that could get you kicked out you know” ellie spoke in a hushed voice. she saw the way your eyebrows raised in worry and instantly felt bad, “i’m joking”. “don’t do that” emphasising the ‘do’ with a playful nudge to her arm. “you missed loads. sasha had to show everyone her most recent text AND you’ll never guess what? chloe has a crush on brandon!” ellie waved her hands in faux excitement. you tried not to laugh at her mocking your new sorority sisters. “you’re an asshole”. she tilted her head slightly with a smirk, “yeah?” you managed back a small “mhm”.

“ellie! truth or dare?” a brunette girl spoke suddenly, bringing your attention back to the group. ellie leaned back, adjusting her position so she was manspreading slightly, and let out a small huff. that same fluttery feeling in your stomach made itself known again and you looked away from ellie. “uh. truth i guess?” the girl pondered for a few seconds. “what’s your favourite thing in a guy?” ellie raised her eyebrows for a moment before a little smirk you were sure only you caught appeared on her mouth. “his sister.” the room went silent. ellie didn’t seem to notice. “gross” brittney muttered. you looked up and caught her eye “not in like… a homophobic way.” she clarified. you lowered your head and subtly looked through your eyelashes at ellie, who was absentmindedly taking a sip of her beer. emilia, who was smiling, got up from her seat and gestured for you to follow her to the drinks table.

“sooo, having fun?” she asked you, grabbing a beer for herself. “yeah!” you offered back and looked around the table for something sweeter than beer and stronger than hard seltzer. “i know truth or dare is a bit juvenile but it’s an eta alpha rho tradition” she chuckled. “nothing wrong with a bit of childish fun” you smiled and she nodded back before squeezing your arm and going back to her seat. you stood before the drinks table feeling slightly awkward. ok let’s see… tequila? barf. maybe vodka? hm but what with. oh they have cranber- “you know, there’s capri-suns in the fridge if you’re not a liquor girl” ellie’s playful mocking broke your train of thought and made you jump slightly. you faced her with one hand on your hip and one resting on the table and narrowed your eyes in mock annoyance. while your brain tried to think of a witty response you noticed ellie’s eyes were taking in your body and it made your face heat up. you opened your mouth to respond and her eyes landed there and stayed on your lips. was she aware she was this unsubtle? “your beers with a 5% alcohol content aren’t too far off capri-suns” you retorted. she laughed and it made something leap in your chest. you turned back around to pour yourself a drink as ellie watched you.

after a few hours the games had died down and the scene in front of you showed most of the girls chatting or dancing to the dua lipa song that was playing from the tv. you’d been stuck in a conversation with a girl called alice for the past 40 minutes about her boyfriend who’s cheating on her but still loves her (she feels it in her heart), you were searching for a lull in the conversation to excuse yourself to the bathroom but so far alice hadn’t come up for air. that’s until an angel sent from heaven (who’s name escapes you) swoops in and sparks up a conversation with alice, leaving you with a clear exit plan. thank you nameless angel. unnoticed by alice or her friend you make your way to the bathroom across the hall, ‘you want me, i want you baby, my sugarboo…’ becoming quieter and quieter and your head ever so slightly fuzzy from the two drinks you’d been nursing throughout the evening. you reached the bathroom door and lifted your arm up higher than sober-you would find necessary to check it wasn’t occupied, and at the same time the door flew open making you lose your balance slightly and fall like an idiot into the poor person who’d just used the bathroom. “oh my god i am so so sorr-“ you looked up and saw ellie, looking down at you with an expression of amusement. you stepped back a little and she lifted her arm to rest against the door frame. you blamed the drink on the way that little display made you feel. “time to switch to capri-suns, sweetheart?” you pushed past her body into the bathroom “shut up about the capri-suns” she laughed and turned her body to face you as you checked your appearance in the sink mirror. “i’m serious. wouldn’t want you stumbling over like that and spilling something on that pretty dress of yours” she stepped forward a few inches and your heart rate picked up and you suddenly felt warm all over. even something about the way she indirectly complimented your outfit made you feel all weird and shy in a pathetically girlish way. what the fuck was wrong with you. keep. it. together. you could tell she’d had a little to drink from her lightly flushed cheeks.

“i won’t. ‘m not drunk” your eyes locked onto hers through her reflection in front of you. “yeah? then show me your eyes”. “what?” you questioned. she placed her hands on your hips and turned your body around to face her, your back now leaning against the sink. she was close. “you can always tell from the eyes,” she spoke low and her words took their time on her tongue “drunk people always get this hazy look,” her own eyes darted between each of yours “you know… heavy..” you swallowed, head swirling from definitely not the vodka and fuck since when was this bathroom so hot “.. sleepy” you opened your mouth and the breath you didn’t realise you were holding came out and her eyes were on your lips again. she brought her tatted arm out to hold the sink, caging in the left side of your body.

“oh!” both yours and ellie’s heads shot to the door, revealing emilia standing there. “sorry! was just coming to look for you,” she told you “wasn’t sure where you were.” she half-giggled. ellie cleared her throat and gave emilia a tight lipped smile and exited the bathroom. “glad you’re safe, i’ll uh- let you pee now.” she tittered and followed ellie back to the room, closing the bathroom door behind her. right, yeah. i came here to pee. the past few minutes left you with a little disorientation; you sat down and replayed your moment with ellie. moment? can you call it a moment? why does it even matter. what the fuck were you doing getting all woozy because a girl you only just met flirted with you for 3 seconds. you physically shook your head pretending that could rid you of the feelings you were experiencing. ellie was in your head and it scared you. that’s the thing about the guys you’d dated; sure it was fun to go on dates with them, sex could be… pretty enjoyable, and you could laugh and joke with the majority of them. but they never interrupted your focus. they never took up space in your brain when you weren’t in their presence, and they didn’t have the power to distract you from college or your grades. they were safe.

as you entered the room again emilia noticed you and spoke up “hey! i was just thinking: you came in late so you never got to play the game! soooo.. truth or dare?” she asked with a big smile. the moment had passed surely you thought, but you humoured her anyway. “dare?” “ok,” she put her finger to her bottom lip and looked up “, i dare you to tell us who you have a crush on” grown adults. we are grown adults. “isn’t that a truth?” you questioned. “oh shush. just answer” you thought of ellie. you were sure she was looking at you but didn’t dare to check. then you thought of college, your sorority sisters, your parents.

“chad.” there was a chad in your college right? emilia gasped “chad peters?” sure “yep” “AHH he is SO cute. head of the football team AND kappa upsilon sigma fraternity president as well, someone has standards” emilia jibed. you gave her a false smile. you could see brittney out of the corner of your eye frowning.

you were a fucking idiot. chad? you could almost feel ellie’s eyes on you, but you still couldn’t manage to turn around and look at her. now who was the asshole.

part 2

[norrizzandpia]

Hello I hope you’re doing well🥰

I was wondering if you could give us something super fluffy where fem reader is driving lando to the airport and he keeps telling her to focus on the road as he didn’t notice she’s trying to hold her tears bec of how much she’ll miss him. then he comforts her and gives her a big bear hug before he leaves.

Thanks in advance!!!

Plz bc this is so cute omfg

I’m Sorry To Go (LN4)

Summary: She’s not quite ready to have him leave just yet.

Warnings: arguably the cutest thing ive ever written

Y/n took a deep breath in the bathroom as she prepared to drive her boyfriend to the airport. Knowing he would be gone for a month, her emotions ran wild. He had been home for the past few weeks for summer break, time she cherished immensely as they never got truly uninterrupted time together, and, now, he was packing up his bags to leave her once more. It felt as if time had gone faster over their quiet time and she was left to watch it pass by, arriving painfully at the stop where he got off.

Nonetheless, she knew she had to be strong for him, understanding if she broke down he would too and that would be detrimental for the both of them. So, she cleaned her face up, residual tears and slightly smeared makeup being wiped away, and walked out of the small room.

There she found Lando, with his suitcase in hand, waiting by the door. The sight almost had her in a fit of more tears, but she swallowed them begrudgingly.

“Ready to go?” He asked, smiling at her as if this wasn’t heartbreaking.

Her silent nod and quick movement around him to walk through the door had his eyebrows quirk up. She had been quiet all morning, something that was unusual for the girl he loved. He didn’t want to push it, force her over the edge when it was clear something was bothering her, but he didn’t want to leave her like this.

However, he didn’t want to leave her at all.

Though, as sickening as it was, he forced himself to get in the car and pull up directions to the airport he was flying out of. Her knuckles gripped the steering wheel tightly as he started to make light conversation and the GPS spouted off upcoming turns she had to take.

“What do you think you’ll for the rest of the day, baby?” He asked, his hand on her thigh as he looked out the window.

The longest beat of silence filled the air as she tried to rid her throat of all tears or signs of her dismay. Clearing her throat subtly, she quivered, “I don’t know, maybe stay in and order food.”

He chuckled, “My love, we have food at the house. We just went to the store yesterday.”

Another prolonged quiet went by before Y/n’s voice broke as she whispered, “I don’t feel like cooking.”

His head whipped around at the sound of her broken words and the sight of her crying in the driver’s seat made his heart clench. Tears silently streamed down her face as she glanced down at the directions, trying so hard to get him to where he needed to be on time.

“Y/n…” Lando whispered before running his thumb over her thigh and coaxing, “Pull over, baby.”

Her eyes refused to look at him as she put on her blinker and changed lanes as to veer off toward the side of the road. When she reached it and parked, Lando’s hand came up to gently move her arms off the steering wheel. He leaned over the center console and pulled her into him, his arms circling her body in a protective manner.

He kissed the side of her head as she began to cry into his shoulder, his hands rubbing up and down her back as he whispered, “What’s wrong?”

She sniffled before brokenly saying, “I don’t want you to leave.”

His eyes watered at her statement, hands abruptly stopping on her back before resuming once it sunk in.

He squeezed her tightly, kissing her again, “I don’t want to leave either.”

Her response was immediate, “Then don’t.”

He laughed lightly, pulling her head back slightly so he could cradle her face in his hands, “You know I have to, love. Trust me, this hurts as much as it does you, but it will go by fast and then I’ll be right back here with you.”

She shook her head, fresh tears falling down her face, “But, it won’t. It won’t go by fast, Lan. Things don’t go by fast when you’re not there.”

He nodded in understanding, kissing her forehead and nose before responding, “Well, it will end eventually and then I’ll be here with you. Baby, the time will pass and I will come back to you. I always will.”

She nodded gently, looking up at him once his words really hit her, “You’ll always come back to me?”

He smiled and kissed her on the lips with newfound adoration and love, “I promise I always will.”

And as they sat together in the small car on the side of the road, wrapped up in the other as forever promises were made, Y/n knew she would hold onto that promised until he proposed.

Which was two years later.

[forever-rogue]

angst like this last ep where the reader gets hurt and joel is freaking out because it seems serious and he thinks he’s losing you, but he ends up nursing you back to health <3

AN | Soft Joel! Protective Joel! It’s all here 🥰

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language, Injury [reader gets injured, mentions of infections]

Word Count | 3k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You knew that he was saying your name, but it sounded so different and off. You felt warm, but not in a good way. In a I shouldn't be sweating in the dead of winter type of way.

You swiped away the sweat on your brow as you clutched at your side. Pain. That's where the pain was. You felt his hands move yours out of the way and saw the frown on his face grow. 

"What happened?" you heard that loud and clear. You shook your head, trying to push his hand away from the wound in your side. It was so sensitive that even the slightest bit of touch seemed to aggravate it. You closed your eyes and tried to curl up within yourself but he wasn't having it, "you're hurt!"

"'m fine," you don't know why you lied; you clearly weren't fine, that much was obvious to both Joel and yourself, "wanna sleep."

"You can't sleep yet - you can't-"

The rest of whatever he said was lost as you did manage to fall asleep or pass out or something. Whatever it was, it was better than the searing pain in your side and the discomfort throughout your limbs.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

There was a creaking in the room - or somewhere - repeating in the same way over and over again. It became like a familiar tune as you slept, mostly out of consciousness. 

You tried opening your eyes multiple times but they just felt so heavy, heavy, heavy. So you opted for sleep, for whatever the lull was that you were currently deep in.

Every once in a while you felt something touch you. Your face, your hand, your side - although it didn't feel quite as bad anymore. But, still, you eventually quite ready to get up. Just a little bit longer…

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"It's been days," Joel slammed his fist against the table before immediately regretting the sting in his hand, "how much longer am I supposed to wait?"

"She had a pretty nasty infection," Maria put her hand on top of his, attempting to give him a reassuring squeeze. It did nothing for him; his heart was still in his stomach, “it’s going to take her a while to recover. But the antibiotics and rest are working.”

He let out a heavy sigh as he leaned back in his chair and tipped his head towards the ceiling. She was right, god he knew she was right, but he wouldn’t feel better until you were fully conscious and fully healed. 

“I feel so…helpless,” he scrubbed a hand over his tired face, “what am I supposed to do?”

“Get some sleep yourself,” she gave him the ghost of a smile but he couldn’t find it in his heart to return it, “take care of yourself. And just be there for her. She knows you’re there and that’s what matters. Joel, she made it back to you.”

“She made it back here.”

“No, she dragged herself home to you,” Ellie cut in and gave him a firm look, “she could have died, most people would have given up, most people would be dead. Not her, so consider yourself lucky. Now you have to be there for her.”

“Ellie-”

“I never left you,” she reminded him, her eyes darted to where his scar was hidden beneath his shirt, “and you never left me. And now we don’t leave her. She’ll be okay.”

“I know,” and he did. If anyone could make it through this, it would be you. You were strong, smart, skilled, and so damn stubborn. It was one of his favorite things about you. And yet…still. It hard to just be there while you were suffering, “I know.”

“Eat,” Maria insisted softly, “rest. You have to take care of yourself too.”

Ellie gently touched his shoulder before hugging him tightly from behind, “it’ll be okay, Joel. I promise.”

And somehow that was all he needed to hear because he felt the slightest bit better. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A steady sound reached your ears, soft but consistent. You couldn’t quite place it but it was somehow extremely reassuring. You moved slightly, trying to readjust yourself but let out a sharp hiss of pain. Okay, that was not going to happen right now. 

Your arm left like it weighed a thousand pounds, but you managed to lift your hand and touched the area that hurt. The tips of your fingers danced over some sort of cloth…a bandage? It spread along your abdomen and while it hurt, the pain was definitely less than what you had remembered. Well, that was a good sign at the least.

A groan escaped your lips as you tried to pry open your eyes, finding them heavy and stiff with sleep. They felt like sandpaper but eventually you managed to open them and tried to blink away all the bleariness. 

You looked around, so stiff and sore, but recognized the room you were in. His bedroom. A familiar place - that was good. You didn’t really remember much after you stumbled your way back into Jackson. Slowly and hesitantly shifting, you managed to make it on your side and readjusted yourself. 

The source of the sound soon became apparent. Joel Miller. He was sitting, sleeping rather, in a stiff and uncomfortable looking chair at your bedside, his head slumped to the side. That was going to be painful later. 

“Joel,” your voice was scratchy and your throat felt dryer than the desert. You reached out a weak, shaky hand and set it on his thigh. You attempted to give him a gentle shake in order to get him to wake up. Maybe it was selfish and you should have let him sleep but you also really, really just wanted to see him. Plus, you wanted to prevent a crick in his neck while you were at it. Two birds, one stone. He didn’t move at first…the poor thing must have been exhausted. You doubted he’d been sleeping since you were back, “Joel.”

But still, he didn’t stir and you decided not to push him. You felt pretty weak as well so you just closed your eyes and decided to get some more rest too. It wasn’t like you were at liberty to be going much right now. What you did do, however, was take his hand and lace your fingers through his, refusing to be completely separated from him. 

You needed him just as much as he needed you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel knew he was going to have a sore neck even before he opened his eyes. He would have been better off sleeping on the floor but he'd fallen asleep on the chair. Typical.

But wait - something was different. His eyes snapped open and he looked down at his hand and saw that it was tangled up with yours. He didn't remember holding your hand…he knew he hadn't been. That meant -

"Baby," you were sleeping again, mouth open as you snorted softly. But you were facing him, much closer, and you'd reached for him. There was a prickling at the back of his eyes and a breath of relief escaped his lips. He wanted to wake you up but he didn't have it in his heart to. You needed rest and he was going to let you have it, "such a stubborn thing, aren't you?"

You didn't respond but he was almost positive that he felt you squeeze his hand.

The next time you woke up you felt warm, but this time it was a pleasant sensation. You cracked an eye open and saw light streaming in through the window, the soft tittering of birds outside. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You tried to sit up, slowly, but it still wasn't an easy feat. You groaned the entire time but eventually you made it. 

Reaching up, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and pushed some of your messy hair out of your face. The blanket you were in was soft, and you remembered that you were in Joel's room. You were in his bed!

You heard footsteps coming from down the hall and grew nervous for whatever reason when the door opened. Joel stepped into the room and his eyes immediately went to your figure, as they had become accustomed to. 

Only this time, you weren't sleeping. You were awake and looking at him with bleary eyes and a soft smile.

"Hi," your voice sounded so small and unsure that it made him want to cry. He came to your side, and despite the fact that he wanted to pull you into a tight hug, he dropped to his knees at your side and reached for your hand.

"Hi," his voice was thick with emotion, shaky and unsure as his eyes grew glossy, "you're awake."

"I'm awake," you confirmed almost as if you wanted to make sure he knew he wasn't dreaming, "you've been here. I-I woke up earlier, the other day, I don't know what day or time it honestly, and you were sitting there. In that chair."

“I was,” he nodded, a soft smile gracing his features, “I thought you’d woken up.”

“I tried to wake you up,” you leaned back against the headboard, “did you end up with a crick in your neck?”

“Of course,” he rubbed at his neck absentmindedly, “I, ugh…I’m glad you’re alright. I don’t know what…”

“Yeah,” you didn’t need him to say it - you knew exactly what he was trying to say, “thank you.”

“For what?” there was a small hint of blush that crept into his cheeks.

“For taking care of me,” you reached for his hand and happily took it into yours, “I don’t remember much, but I do remember you being there. So, don’t be bashful, I know it was you.”

“It wasn’t all me,” but he also hadn’t left your side in days, barely more than an hour or so at a time, and even those times were few and far in between, “Maria helped a lot, and Ellie.”

“I know,” after a moment of hesitation, you reached up and stroked his cheek, and the man practically preened into your touch, “but still. You’re a stubborn man. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” he took your hand and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, which caused your entire face to flush with warmth. 

“What happened?” your voice almost dropped to a whisper as though you weren’t quite sure you wanted to know, “to me? I-I don’t remember a lot.”

And then he laughed; that sweet, deep sound that you loved so much. It wasn’t that he was laughing at you or all that you had just been through, it was just…the situation. The fact that you’d been so unwell, almost on death’s doorstep, and here you were, sweet as ever, “oh sweetheart…you went through a lot.”

“I remember getting back but that’s about it,” you admitted sheepishly, “I do remember pain…how long has it been?”

“You came back about a week ago,” your mouth opened in surprise - there was no way. It couldn’t have been more than two or three days. He nodded, answering your silent question, “yeah, it was bad.”

“I-I got back and…I was hurt.”

“You came back, barely on your feet,” his gaze shifted to the clean bandage still spreading across your abdomen, “you looked…terrible.”

“What a lovely thing to hear,” you teased, knowing that he was joking.

“I just meant…the wounds. Not a-anything else, but you look…”

“Like shit,” you cut him off. You felt grimy and sweaty and gross; you were positive you were stinking and your hair was a disaster. You doubted you looked any better than you felt, “I’m sure. You don’t have to lie to me, Joel.”

“You’re beautiful,” it was the first time he had said it out loud, but it was something that had always been on his mind, “but yeah…right now you do look like you could use a bath.”

“I love an honest man,” you grinned, “you saved me.”

“I-I didn’t…no,” bashful, shy, and adorable. Although he’d never admit he was adorable.

“You did,” you insisted, pointing at your covered wound, “I imagine whatever this was, it wasn’t good.”

“No,” his brow furrowed and he shook his head lightly, “it wasn’t. There was a deep wound, and had gotten infected. The infection was starting to spread and…yeah. You came back just in time. I don’t know how you made it back but…fuck, I’m glad you did.”

“Me too,” shy smiles were exchanged, “I vaguely remember getting hurt and knowing I had to get back. And I just came back, I knew I had to get back. I wanted to get home to you.”

“Yeah?” his voice shook but you nodded, trying to be strong, “I shouldn’t have let you go. Especially not alone. I should have been there, I could have…done something.”

“Don’t think of it like that,” you put a finger to his lips to cut him off before he could continue to ramble, “thinking of all the could haves and would haves only works to drive us crazy. It doesn’t matter what happened, not anymore. What matters is that I’m here now.”

“But-”

“But nothing,” he couldn’t help the small smile that turned up the corners of his mouth at your sharpness, “I’m here and I’m okay. We’re okay. Wait…I’m okay, right? I guess I should have asked that first and not just assumed.”

“You’re going to be okay,” he promised, thanking every lucky star and divine being or whatever existed in the universe, “most of the wounds on your arms and face are superficial; I think you probably got them when you were coming back through the woods. The main one was…rough. Do you remember what happened at all?”

“My weakness,” you joked softly, “small knives.”

“That was no small knife,” he shook his head as you shrugged.

“No,” you reluctantly agreed, “it wasn’t. But me telling you what it was isn’t going to change anything so…no need to worry.”

“I’m going to worry anyway.”

“You shouldn’t worry.”

“I’m going to worry about the people I love.”

“Oh,” oh. Joel had, once again, spoken before he truly thought about what he was going to say. It wasn’t that he didn’t mean it….he just hadn’t meant to tell you like this. He wasn’t sure exactly what his plan had been, but that was neither here nor there at this point, “oh?”

“Listen, I didn’t mean to make this-”

“I love you, Joel,” you met his eye, refusing to look away so he knew that you had meant what you said, “really.”

“Oh,” this time it was his turn to be surprised. You nodded; his relief was visibly when you saw how his shoulders relaxed, “I didn’t exactly plan this.”

“Me neither,” you gestured to yourself, “any of this.”

“It’s not going to hurt for a while,” he swallowed thickly as you exhaled slowly. You figured as much; if you’d been out for almost a week you knew that it wasn’t going to go immediately go away, “I…I would like it if you stayed here. So I could help you.”

“You mean keep an eye on me so I don’t go and cause more trouble?” you teased, “I’d like that, Joel. As long as you and Ellie are okay with it. But I can take the couch so you can have your bed-”

“Absolutely not,” as if. He’d rather cut off his own leg than to let you sleep on the damned couch, “you’ll stay here, in this bed.”

“This is the first time I’ve heard that in this sort of situation,” you snorted in amusement, “but thank you, Joel. Really.”

“It’s nothing,” it was everything, “I’ll change the sheets and you can have a shower - bath maybe, that might be better. Or maybe shower?”

“I can try a shower and if it doesn’t work, we’ll figure it out,” you felt so warm and fuzzy at the idea of him taking care of you, “maybe I’ll make you give me a sponge bath!”

“I would do it.” Of course he would. He’d do anything for you.

“I know,” you leaned over, slowly and gingerly, and pressed the most delicate of kisses to his cheek, “I know.”

“I’m going to assume you’re hungry?” you perked up at the sound of food. When was the last time you had a meal? You couldn’t remember…and your stomach grumbled loudly, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Yes, please,” you grinned, “what’s on the menu?”

“Fresh baked bread and soup,” your mouth almost watered in excitement, “the kid’s been on a cooking phase, so whether or not it’s good will have to be seen.”

“I’m so hungry, I could honestly eat anything,” you really could, “but thank you. Seriously…I hope that you know how much very much I…appreciate you. How very much I…I love you.”

“It’s not work, it’s not a bother,” he insisted, “not when it’s you. I…”

“You don’t have to say it,” you knew that it wasn’t always for him to be open with feelings and words. But he always showed his love in so many other ways, “if you don’t want to or…yeah.”

“I love you,” he’d stood up but he leaned down and kissed the crown of your head, not caring in the slightest about any mess, “I’m not perfect, far from it, but I’m working on it.”

“You think I’m perfect?” he really liked your laugh, “far from it. I’m working on it too. We can work on it together.”

“Yes,” and you really liked his smile, “together.”

“Together.”

[thewulf]

Emotionally Involved || Aaron Hotchner

Summary: Request - hi! can you write a hotch angsty / fluff piece based off the episode of s3 ep 20 where they go to NY and have to work with Kate Joyner and Hotch treats reader like how he did to Morgan and pushes reader aside bc even after reader being there for him after his divorce with Hayley and thinking there was something more but then ends in fluff? :)

A/N: Love me some Aaron Hotchner!! Here's a good old angst to comfort :) Thank you for the request anon! Also, sorry this took so long. Lost my CM inspo but found it again. Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Y/N

Word Count: 3.9k+

“New York baby!” Morgan grinned giving your shoulders a squeeze as the two of you walked off the jet.

Shaking your head, you followed him down the steps and towards the SUV’s towards the end of the runway, “You’re far too excited Derek. It’s not like we’re allowed to have fun when we’re here.” You tried not to dampen his parade too hard, but you also didn’t want to get too excited to be here. The team had a job to do, and you needed to be on your A game, Hotch had made that perfectly clear to the team.

“Let a man dream sweetheart.” He threw you a wink before walking ahead of you towards the SUV.

The ride to the precinct was uneventful as the team chatted about the unsub and the profile. When you got there you nearly gasped when your eyes landed on Kate. She was a Haley look alike, that was for sure.

Her eyes never seemed to leave yours as she greeted the team and went through the case. You stood back as her looks turned to mere glares. The team was even picking up on it as Spencer nudged your side and sent you a questioning glance. You merely shrugged your shoulders letting him you didn’t know why she was acting so cold towards you.

The team got to the newest crime scene with concerned citizens watching all around. It truly never got easier to see the distressed faces and worry rampant throughout a community. A dead body laid there with a mere tarp covering his or her indecency from the crowd. A bullet to the head. It truly never got easier.

When you looked up at the camera and the position of the body on the street you shook your head, “With the placement of that camera, odds are the only view we’ll get of him is the back of his head.” You noticed speaking out loud as you were trained to do. Observe your surroundings and bounce off ideas with the team.

Kate wrinkled her nose before giving you a rather unfriendly look, “Let’s not be too quick to decide what we do or don’t have.” She spoke abruptly before walking off. All you could do was bite your tongue and give her a curious look before somebody spoke up from beside you.

“The duchess at work has spoken.” The cop from the precinct snickered before walking off leaving just you and Hotch behind.

Bewildered you just gave him a look, “Did I do something?” She was giving you and you only an attitude while the rest of the team caught a pass.

Hotch sighed before coming out with it, “FBI Brass has made it clear to her that if she doesn’t figure out this case she’ll be reassigned. And you are at the top of the list to replace her.”

You were sure you looked like a deer in headlights at that moment. You? You were just a low-level profiler who’d been with the team for a few years but nothing major. You were good, not great, at your job. You’d never really put much thought into promoting out of your job anytime soon. You loved where you were, the team, Aaron as your boss. It worked. And worked well.

“You’re joking.” Was all that spilled out of your mouth earning a tight-lipped head shake from Aaron.

He looked a little annoyed before answering, “Why should you be surprised Agent? You’re good at your job. People notice that.”

You shook your head, “I thought the Bureau was thrilled to have stolen her away from Scotland Yard?” Still not buying it fully.”

Your boss just shook his head clearly uncomfortable with the whole ordeal, “I don’t know. I guess the politics here are different. And as you can see, she doesn’t really pull the punches.” He gave you a curt look before walking away leaving just you standing there under the camera. What the hell just happened?

You stook there as the group reformed talking about the Tarot Card the unsub left leaving your mind reeling. Why in the hell would you ever be on a list to replace anybody? Was Aaron talking you up that much? Did Strauss notice you?

When you got back to the precinct Garcia dropped the bomb on the team. There was more than one unsub. The team was left speechless as discussion ensued.

Hotch spoke up setting the new plan in action, “Dave you and Reid talk to the agents here. Y/L/N and Prentiss, brief the police when each shift comes on duty tomorrow. JJ and Morgan you’re with me.”

You frowned not liking where the case was heading, “I think we should get out in the streets Hotch.” He’d taught you to speak up when you thought things weren’t right, so you decided to. You were a team after all.

Kate shook her head though, “I brought you here to create a profile.”

You noticed your team mates awkwardly looking away trying to avoid the situation as best as they could. They sensed Joyner’s dislike towards you. But you couldn’t keep your damn mouth shut. You’d thought Hotch would have your back, but you were surely mistaken, “Which we can give in the morning, and they can share with the afternoon shift.” You spoke back to her. It must’ve been more aggressive than you thought because Hotch just gave you a set of wide eyes as if to say, ‘back off’.

“We’ve allocated every extra man we have. This is New York City. It’s not like a few more people is going to blanket the city.” She spoke to you as if you were a child. A mere stupid child. You’d have normally shut up there, but your pride was hurt, you could admit that. She was attacking you, you had to attack back.

“I understand it’s a long shot Kate. But these guys hit mid-day.” You started to plead with her, trying to have her reason with you, “we could be strategic. Target INGRESS and EGRESS to particular neighborhoods. Position us near 14th, 26th, 59th…” Kate just looked away annoyed as hell at you. But you had to challenge her, there were lives at stake and you couldn’t stand it.

“Y/L/N, it’s not your call.” Hotch stopped you giving you the disappointed boss look. You gave him your best disappointed look right back at him. He was acting weird. You thought you knew the man. But maybe he was down bad for the Haley look alike. Maybe you weren’t as close as you thought you were. Some profiler you were.

Your pride and now ego was trampled upon as that just went down in front of your entire team. Giving a sigh through your nose all you could do was grab Emily’s arm and walk away. You had a police debrief to do anyway.

She just gave you a look as you walked away from the group, “What the hell was that?” She asked once the two of you were far enough away so that they couldn’t hear.

You shook your head, “Hell if I know. Let’s get this over with.”

She pursed her lips, “You good?”

Nodding your head, you opened the door to the room where they were all gathered, “All good Emily. Let’s deliver the profile.”

After delivering the profile and avoiding the curious looks from your all too nosey coworkers you found yourself walking back into the central office of the precinct with Rossi. You heard Hotch on the phone with somebody mumbling something incoherent.

“What’s going on?” You asked once you got close enough. Rossi grabbed at the back of your arm sensing the bad blood between you and Kate who was standing right next to Hotch.

“We’ve got eyes on one of them. Subway platform between 59th and Lex.” Hotch spoke clearly trying his best to stay calm. Calm always won out in situations like this.

But your heart dropped, “59th? We could’ve been right there.” You pleaded more with Hotch than with Kate. He simply avoided your gaze and looked towards Kate who looked frustrated with the entire ordeal.

“He’s got a gun! He shot her!” You heard Garcia through the phone.

Your heart broke even further. Did her dislike towards you get that poor woman killed? You looked down at the ground as chaos erupted around you.

“We lost him.” You heard the disappointed voice of Garcia through the line.

Frustration bubbled over as you let out a sigh, “We could’ve had that guy.”

“Even if we were on the platform. Odds are he would’ve gotten away.” Kate spoke up sensing she needed to say something, the case was beginning to run away from her.

“Maybe! But it was worth taking a shot.” You fired back frustrated that she wasn’t listening to you. You were used to working with a team that bounced ideas off of each other. Sure, Hotch made the final call, but he always included your ideas as a consideration, always. Kate just straight up would rather ignore you than consider that you might have a decent idea.

“We had every available man on the street!” She snapped back at you losing a bit of her regular professionalism. At least you were getting under her skin a bit.

“And we suggested to you that you use this very capable team.” Your voice was laced with irritation as you tried to break through to her.

But Aaron stepped in. And again, it hurt when he took her side over yours, “Second guessing doesn’t do us any good right now agent.” He looked at you, not towards her, you.

Fuck it. Might as well let him have it now, “Hotch, how in the hell am I supposed to look at these cops in the eye and tell them that we’re actually here to help them?” Your voice was laced with venom as you let your emotions take over. Fuck professionalism when people were dying because a woman didn’t like you.

“We’re here to present a profile, that’s what we need to do.” He looked at you so coldly you wanted to walk away. You might say something that could damage the relationship you’d managed to cultivate with him.

You couldn’t stop your fiery tongue that usually worked out in your favor, “I said to put us at those express stops, 14th, 26th, 59th and that’s exactly where they hit.” You tried to reason with your boss who was toeing the line.

He raised his voice needing you to tone it down, “It’s not your place to have this discussion Y/L/N.”

You raised an eyebrow in defiance towards your boss, “My place?” You noticed Kate looking the other way. She looked uncomfortable.

“You need to back off.” His voice was laced with that same venom you’d just spit at him.

You started walking backwards shaking your head, “We’ve got seven bodies Hotch.”

“Which is exactly why we need to stay focused.” He didn’t miss a beat as he kept his eyes locked on yours.

You did what he didn’t expect though. You cracked a smile. Maybe you were a little jealous, but you had to call out the tone deaf man, “Focused?” You walked forward so only he and Kate could hear, “From where I’m standing, all your only focus is on her Hotch.” Kate shook her head not really believing her ears.

“Take a walk, now.” He spit at you.

You simply nodded, “Sure, boss.” You waved to Rossi who looked equally as stunned at what was happening. He’d never seen you act so defiant. But then again, he’d never seen Hotch wrapped around one woman’s fingers so easily.

You walked right out of the precinct and down to a Bodega frustrated beyond belief. Unbelievable. Maybe you’d just torched your relationship with your boss, but he was being a real fucking dick to you. You were also being a real fucking asshole right back to him and her. You get what you give you suppose.

You’d found your way to your hotels bar getting yourself a nice cocktail and chatting with the bartender. You weren’t planning on going back to work that night, anyway, might as well get a little fucked up. Have some of the fun Derek so desperately wanted. But in the end you couldn’t. Wouldn’t. You were still on the job.

But you were interrupted on your first drink. Rossi spotted you taking a seat right next to you. You would’ve kept your mouth shut had it not been for the three drinks coursing through your system.

“I know.” You sighed as he sat down, “I was out of line.” You admitted knowing you were still partially at stake for the events that unfolded.

“You get a little too emotionally involved sometimes. I know the feeling.” He stated waving the bartender down for his own drink. Rossi was like the dad of the team for everybody, especially to you though. He’d taken you right under his wing once he’d joined the team. The two of you worked together well and he had a sense of duty to you. He needed to check in on his young buck.

You huffed looking up to him, “I just felt like Hotch was taking her side.”

“There are no sides here.” He stated simply watching you curiously. Did he know of the massive crush you were harboring towards the older man? You’d been so damn good at hiding it that it’d be a shame if it came out now.

You nodded your head, “I know Rossi.”

He didn’t let up, “Word is. They have an eye on you if SSA Joyner gets canned.” He stated simply. Your eyes went wide as this was brought up for the second time in a few hours on this case. First from Hotch, not from him, “People talk. But if she were to get fired it’d be because we didn’t solve this case.” He knew that’d be all you needed. You were competitive. Just like him.

“Rossi, I hope you’re not saying you think I want her to fail.” You took a bit of offense to that.

He shook his head, “Of course not. But I’ve never seen you push a superior like that before.” You raised your eyebrows thinking about what he said before he continued, “So, would you take the job?”

You shook your head quickly, “I don’t know. It’d be nice to be the one making the calls…” You spoke out loud trying to think.

“And dealing with the politics of running a field office?” He threw that question right back at you, “Doesn’t seem like you.”

“The B.A.U. wears people out Rossi.” You admitted quietly while sipping on your drink, “Look at Gideon. He was the best. And in the end, he ran away.” You looked forward and not at the man who was staring holes into the side of your head, “Hotch hasn’t even thought about cracking a smile in over a damn year! That man had to take a personal day just so he can have a conversation with Jack.” You groaned clearly frustrated, “What about you?” You asked, having to know what he thought. You’d just laid it all down on the line clear as day, “How many times have you been married Rossi?” You finally looked back up to see him nodding along with your rant.

“I get it. But I’ll make you a deal. If I think you’re losing it I’ll pull you out myself. But right now. I see someone who wants to get back on the job.” He looked down at the cocktail, “Or is there another reason you’ve gotten it nonalcoholic?” You looked down eyeing the receipt that exposed you so easily. He walked away patting your shoulder wanting you to follow him.

You’d suck it up. For the job and for Aaron. The walk back to the precinct was silent. Your heart was pounding as you walked into the room with the both of them, “Listen, about earlier…” You were looking at Kate, not Hotch, Kate.

She shook her head looking almost embarrassed herself, “You spoke your mind. I respect it. Let’s move on.” She gave you a half-baked smile, good enough for you.

When the case was solved it was too late for the pilot to take off, so the team went back to the hotel to prepare for an early flight home. No matter the time though you were always wound up after a case was solved so you made your way to the hotel bar that was open into the late night, thank goodness. This time you weren’t worried about being on the clock.

“You did well.” The familiar husky voice of your boss sent shivers up your energy depleted body that was still coursing with adrenaline.

Your eyes flicked up to the man you had yet to apologize to, “Thanks Hotch.” You looked away from him quickly before continuing, “I’m sorry about today, I didn’t mean to…”

He cut you off for the second time. This time much more gently, “It’s okay Y/L/N. It’s nice to see you so… passionate.” He almost broke into that rare Hotch grin you rarely saw since the divorce with Haley.

You huffed slightly not enjoying being teased by the man, “I just…”

“I know.” He must’ve had a thing for interrupting you because he kept on doing it, “I didn’t disagree with you, you know. It wasn’t our time or place. I didn’t want to step on her toes. It was touch and go there.” He admitted while taking the beer he had ordered from the bartender, “And then the explosion.” He paused trying to find the words letting you interrupt him.

You gave him a knowing smirk this time, “Are you trying to apologize to me Hotch?”

He bit his lip not having a damn clue in how he was affecting you rather severely, “I’m trying to say there are no hard feelings agent.”

You raised your eyebrows feeling somewhat daring. He approached you after all, “Agent?”

Rolling his eyes he gave you the smallest smile, “Y/N.”

You hummed finishing off your own beer, “That’s more like it Aaron.”

You, just like him, had no fucking clue what you did to him. You calling him Aaron? Oh, he was a goner. He didn’t want to admit how fucking hot he found you fired up in the precinct earlier on in the case giving your higher ups a piece of your mind. But he was your boss, he had to simmer you down before you really ruined your chances of getting promoted. As selfish as he was and wanted to keep you on the team forever he knew you were destined for much, much larger things. You were a natural leader, Aaron found that out quickly. You worked cases with ease and took on the difficult tasks without a second thought. He was constantly amazed by you.

This time he gave you an easy smile. It’d been a while since he felt good enough to smile. Maybe it was the weight lifted off their shoulders from solving the case to your casual flirting with him, but he was feeling good. Damn good. And as tired as you looked Aaron couldn’t deny how pretty you were. That easy gorgeous that never even had to try. He was enamored with you. As always.

“Is that a Hotchner smile?” You quipped not believing your eyes.

“Shh. Don’t tell the team.” You saw it grow just a little.

You shook your head turning your body towards him in the seat knowing he’d get the hint. Hotch was a top-notch profiler and he’d read you like a kindergarten book, with ease, “For the record, I’m not going to take that job.” You stated looking right at him seeing his curious reaction.

“Oh?” He looked at you with genuine curiosity hoping you’d elaborate.

You nodded, “Not ready for it. Have a lot to learn still.”

He let out a soft sigh of relief, “You may think that. But you’d make one hell of a unit chief.”

You grinned giving his hand a quick squeeze hoping you weren’t crossing the line with him, “Maybe in the future, yeah? I just wanna live for now though.”

“I’ll take that.” He grabbed at your hand this time holding it firm, “Have lots to teach you still.” He agreed with you hoping he wasn’t showing too much joy though his face, he still had to keep a somewhat professional composure in front of you. He was still your boss. For now. He just had to give it some time. He knew you were going to be something a little bit more special than just one of his employees. You were… unique.

You nodded, “I should’ve asked this sooner, are you alright?” He didn’t drop your hand, still holding it gingerly in his.

He looked down at his glass before looking up at you, “I’m alright. Thanks for asking.” He hummed hoping he wasn’t making you feel too awkward.

“Would you say anything if you weren’t?”

He shook his head, “Probably not.”

“Can you tell me if you’re actually okay? Your friend died. You were almost blown up…”

He stopped you for a record fourth time, “I promise, I’m okay. It’s adorable that you worry.”

Your cheeks surely lit up like a Christmas Tree on the holiday itself, “Somebody needs to. You’ll run yourself ragged.”

He grabbed at your other hand definitely crossing a line, but he just didn’t give a damn, “You don’t have to do that.”

You didn’t give him a second to argue as your replied, “I want to.”

He nodded flashing you that smile you saw early on in your career but was gone recently, “I’m glad it’s you then. If anybody is.” He admitted almost shyly as his eyes left yours looking away quickly.

You gave his hands a squeeze, “Just tell me if it’s too much Hotch. If I’m ever crossing a line. If I’m too much.”

He looked back up at you with the softest eyes, “You could never, ever be too much.”

“Too emotionally involved?” You pressed.

He laughed throwing his head back, “Rossi got to you I see?”

“He say the same to you?”

Aaron nodded his head, “He did.”

“That man will be the death of me, I swear.” You grumbled knowing what he was up too. He always said the two of you would work out and kept bringing it up now that he was single.

“You and me both sweetheart, you and me both.” He tossed you a wink before standing, “Come on, let’s get you to bed. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.” He held out his hand for you to take. Without a second thought you grabbed at it as he pulled you out of your seat. You were enjoying your hand being in his far too much.

“Whatever you say boss man.” You gave his hand a squeeze as he led you out of the bar and to the elevators getting ready for bed. The two of you sat in comfortable silence as two big cheesy grins coated each of your faces knowing something new was bubbling up between the couple. Something the two of you had been waiting on for a long time coming. One that you knew you’d happily accept. One you’d hope he’d embrace too. Little did you know he was ready to dive into the deep end with you, headfirst and all.

Aaron Hotchner/Criminal Minds: Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @daily-evanstan @hardballoonlove @14buddy22 @rosiahills22 @djs8891

[radlyradar]

How would the companions (minus longfellow) act with a Deaf/HOH Sole Survivor ?

I made this because silly and my sole survivor is half deaf :))

Preston

Preston already has a concept of signed gestures and hearing loss, from trying to communicate around artillery or in battle. He’s even met Deaf/HOH settlers before, but never before has he travelled with someone who couldn’t hear. It takes him a bit to get the hang of communication, learning conversational signs from Sole and making sure he’s in clear view when he talks if they lip read. That being said, it doesn’t change much, he still sees them as that leadership role the minuteman need. He ends up getting Sole to teach passing minutemen signs so they can communicate or trying to teach them all himself once he becomes more fluent.

Deacon

He’s hesitant at first, after all if you can’t hear yourself you gotta be loud as all hell. When Sole proves they can be stealthy though, he changes his tune. They both sign often to keep conversations more secretive and he’ll act as ‘interpreter’ on missions so he can pass by with less attention.

Hancock

Hancock has DEFINITELY met a Deaf traveler before, I mean it’s Goodneighbor. I think he would communicate with writing things, whether on dirt or walls or any available paper. Now that he’s traveling with Sole though, he’s trying to learn so he can communicate easier with anyone passing through Goodneighbor. (Though I think he’s definitely the guy who wants to learn curses and phallic words first).

Strong

He surprisingly doesn’t immediately hate them for it. But he will get frustrated when Sole don’t respond. he eventually figures out that they’ve been signing to him and their responses are all half guesses. He thinks about leaving but then remembers that they’ve lived this long without hearing ANYTHING (this is untrue, you may be able to hear something but he doesn’t know that). So he stays with Sole a bit longer, relying on gestures and lip reading if they can. They both learn that his big hands don’t make great signing and he gives up on learning anything expressive and slowing learns receptively by watching them.

Curie

Curie finds it fascinating, but not surprising that Sole can survive out here. She likes watching them and studying how they function in the world without hearing. When she’s still a nanny bot she very easily learns receptive sign, but when she gets her new body she’s ecstatic to use it for herself and quickly takes to signing back to Sole. She’s a quick stumbling kind of signer though so she can be hard to understand.

Cait

Cait and Tommy are super fucking confused when the person who killed every raider in the combat zone doesn’t respond at first. Her first impression is that they were stupid or playing a joke, she’s never met a Deaf person before. When she and Sole first travel together she finds the ‘what’s, ‘huh’s, confused faces, and or lack of responses extremely annoying. As they travel together though and she starts to realize they really view her as a person she’ll apologize. She never really gets good at sign but she’ll sign small things to you and struggle to understand when Sole signs back. 

Maccready

This guy also already has a concept of sign. But not conversational in the slightest, still, he takes to it like a duck on water. He’s probably ending up the easiest to sign to (other than like Nick) because he ends up focusing on learning sign for like a few months straight and is using it constantly after. He does tell Sole that he wants to teach Duncan when he sees him again or get word passed on to his old home since it could prove useful to Deaf and hearing kids.

Gage

He’s a bit confused at first, and in all honesty considers leaving them in that ratty ass bumper car room, but he remembers that they need a new overboss and it’s not like they haven’t had people with hearing loss in the raiders gangs before. He finds most of the things they do pretty normal, like lipreading and being extra vigilant, hearing can be hard, and words muddle together, it only makes sense that you’d watch someone’s mouth to know what they’re saying- wait that’s not normal? Huh, maybe the years of explosions and gunfire are getting to him. 

He does end up learning sign and finds it a lot easier then verbal communication 

Nick

Nick is already fluent, he knows what Deaf people are from his past memories. He doesn’t even realize he knows sign until him and Sole are talking and he ends up enjoying travelling with them. Nothing much really changed about your relationship. The Kellogg case does become more difficult since they can’t hear him in the memory den

Codsworth

He was with Sole pre war and due to his programming he already understands signing but can’t sign back. He mostly just points and stuff. 

Piper

Thank god for Piper. Due to the speaker entrance chances are Sole wouldn’t get into Diamond City unassisted. But with Piper’s scheme they both got in with ease. She realizes there’s something up immediately and when Sole tells her about their hearing she immediately tries an interview. This of course does not go well. As they travel together she tries to pick up sign but never gets good at it. One thing Sole misses out on are her yap sessions. Don’t get me wrong, she still has them, but they both know that there’s no way in hell that Sole is understanding most of what she’s saying.

Dogmeat

Honestly, he probably won’t notice at first, he protects Sole the same and unless they’re nonverbal he’s probably gonna take awhile. He might just think they’re quiet. After some time though Dogmeat will start listening to and watching for signed command and instead of baking to alert them he’ll paw at their foot or jump and try to catch their attention if he’s too far away and still in view. They both work out pretty well, he’s a good dog.

Ada

Ada has never met a Deaf person and Sole cannot read Ada’s lips so it’s a struggle. They eventually get a similar relationship to the one Sole would have with Strong.

X6-88

What the fuck is this hand language, why is Father not like this? How is this person still alive? So many questions. He’s never met a Deaf person and no one’s told him, they’ve had broken synths who can’t hear, is that the same? He asks a lot of questions, some uncomfortable or kind of rude and honestly sucks at first, but once he gets to know them and realize he’s getting closer to Sole, he apologizes and tones it down. He ends up taking to sign pretty well and realizes how useful it is in day to day as well as battle. He ends up acting as an interpreter if Sole lets him.

Danse

At first he thinks they aren’t listening on purpose, then realizes what’s actually going on. He’s never met a Deaf traveler. Being already bad with people this makes him anxious, which comes off as aggression, but he realizes how much easier it is to be around them. He doesn’t take part in small talk and takes to sign pretty well. Similar to X6-88 he’ll probably ask a lot of questions, some being a bit rude. Though, at least he’ll have shame when asking these at least.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 46

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, post partum, csection, suicidial ideation, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

‘You look good’.

The doctor’s words echo in your head. You stare at yourself in the mirror, trying to see what she saw. You don’t look good, you are repulsive. You pull your shirt down over the stretch marks and fix your sweat pants, hiding the rigid scar. No infection, no internal issues. That’s probably what she meant.

You hear the dull buzz of your phone. As you pass the bassinet, you check inside. The baby’s asleep. It’s been a long day of calming her since your return from your appointment. She received a clean bill of health, a sparkling review from the doctor. She’s growing, eating well, meeting all her milestones. How many can there be, it’s only been six weeks.

The house is quiet. Dottie should be asleep. She hasn’t bothered you at least. You lay down and check your phone. It’s Andy. Shoot, you forgot to text him back after your shower. You tell him as much in your reply.

You lower your phone as you lean against the pillows. Six weeks. The doctor said you’re all clear. You don’t know if you’re ready, even though you want to be. You sigh and breathe out your anxiety. Fuck it. It’s not that deep.

‘Wanna come over?’ You don’t even read Andy’s follow up before you send the message.

Shit. Shit. You see the checkmark, he’s read it but he’s not typing. Fuckkkkkk. You misread. The last week and a half, sneaking around to make out, having the type of fun you forgot back in high school, it was only that. Shallow and fleeting.

You’re really not ready for this. You’re thinking too much. Making it into more than what it is. It’s just fucking. That’s all it’s ever been. Besides, you might not even get that far. You just want the company.

Your phone jitters. You look at it with dread; ‘sure, I still owe you that massage.’

You squeak, quickly smothering it with your hand. What was that? You don’t make those noises. You don’t get giddy. You are a grown woman. A mother.

Damn. That’s right. You’re a mother.

You get up and peer at the bassinet once more. You grab the monitor and carefully wheel the rolling bassinet to the door. You carefully open the door and enter the hall. She’ll be okay in her crib for an hour. You’ll put the camera in with her. She’s tired out from the doctor’s anyway.

You make the transfer, leaving the nursery door open, just in case. You don’t know why you’re so worried. The baby just sleeps all the time. Just a blob.

You go back to your room and find a new message. Andy, he’s already on his way. Oop. You text that you’ll meet him at the back door. You sneak back out and make a cautious descent down the stairs.

He waits for you in the shadows by the doors as you shine the flashlight of your phone at him. You unlock the left one and let him in. He’s in a hoodie and sweats hanging crooked on his hips. You turn off the light and whisper for him to come in, shutting the door softly behind him.

“Can’t go back upstairs. Already made too much noise,” you keep your voice low.

He nods, hands in his pockets, swaying on his feet nervously. You giggle and grab the front of his hoodie. You drag him into the living room and over to the couch. He touches your wrist and stops you.

“Ah, I still owe you,” he insists.

“It’s fine,” you try to dismiss his offer. You just want to see if your body still works, if you can still feel.

“Please, lay down,” he coaxes, “let’s… let’s take it slow. Enjoy it…”

You let him go. Yeah, he’s right. You turn away and stare at the cushions in the dim glow of moonlight that shines through the window. That window where you and Lloyd–

You won’t think of him. You get down on your stomach. Andy lowers himself on the edge of the couch and places a hand on your shoulder.

“You can take your shirt off,” he suggests.

“I’ll keep it on,” you say, trying not to let your embarrassment glean through.

“No problem,” he assures you, trailing his hand down.

He begins to knead your back, leading with his thumbs, finding kinks you never felt before. He works you firmly but gently. Shoulders, sides, hips. He moves up, down, all around. You moan as he loosens the muscles knotted from months, if not years, of strain.

He lets one hand crawl over the back of your sweats. You don’t stop him. He gropes your but, squeezing it until you moan, a signal that he can keep going. He fondles you, humming at the feel of you. It’s flattering even if you’re overly aware of the extra pounds.

His fingers slip down and you part your thighs. He pauses as he hovers over the seam of your pants.

“You good?” He rasps.

“Keep going,” you say a bit harsher than you intend.

He listens, pushing on the seam as he feels around the fabric. He presses it against your cunt, rolling until he finds your clit. He has his hand hooked under you, rocking as pressure gathers around his touch. Your breath hitches and you purr, tilting your hips as you as good as ride his hand.

“It’s good,” you say, “let me…”

You reach down and push down the elastic of your sweatpants. He retracts your hands and guides them down for you. You turn over as you untangle your ankles from the fabric and sit up. You’re too impatient to keep playing around.

“Here,” you bend your legs over the cushion, “sit.”

You pat the couch next to you. He seems reluctant but he sits. You hesitate.

“You don’t… we don’t have to keep going if you don’t want–”

“No, I do,” he insists, “really, I don’t wanna rush you.”

“You’re not.”

You stand up and come in front of him. You reach to tug on the zipper of his hoodie and pull it down, revealing his naked torso beneath. You cluck, “you hurried over?”

“Kinda,” he admits lightly as he leans forward to frame your hips.

He lets one hand fall down, tracing your vee to your slit, flicking his finger up between your folds. You twitch and bend to reach for his pants, gripping him through the fabric. He shudders and slides his finger further along your cunt.

You grasp the elastic of his pants and tug. He lifts his ass, his urgency matching your own as he raises the fabric above his tip and sets his dick free. You climb into his lap, holding yourself on your knees as you take him in your hand. You stroke him, he’s already hard, and feel how he trembles. He’s a man, it’s not you, it’s just sex.

You press a hand to his firm chest, feeling the soft hair there, the hard muscle. He trails a hand up and plays with the hem of your shirt. You keep him from lifting it. It’s dark but you don’t want him to see anything.

You angle him against you, rubbing his tip against your cunt. You curl your fingers as you lower yourself onto him. He gasps, his hand resting on your thigh as you take control, easing down slowly as the friction burns your wall. You grunt at the moment of resistance. You’re not wet enough. You don’t fucking care.

You bring your fingers to your lips and wet them in your mouth. You reach down to play with your clit as you sink to your limit. He feels good. You think. He squeezes your hip and his other hand goes to your chest. Your tits are heavy and sore but you ignore the discomfort.

You roll your clit under your fingertips as you rock in his lap. He squeezes your tit harder as he groans. You feel the plucking, dull but there.

He runs his thumb over your tender nipple and you whine, feeling a trickle as the fabric dampens against you. Fuck. Whatever. Just milk. Like a fucking cow, you can't help but leak.

“Feel okay?” Andy asks as he snakes his hand around to your ass, still pawing at your swollen tits.

“Yeah, fine,” you grab his chin and tilt his head up, muting him with a kiss as you buck, flicking at your clit desperately. You just want to cum, you need to. You need that release.

[cheesybebengka]

overly sweet tea 🫖

Pairings: Caitlyn Kiramman x Fem Artist!Reader

Warnings: none just pure fluff and awkwardness. (Also english is not my first language so sorry for the errors)

Author’s notes: Inspired by that trend where couples draw or paint each other’s portraits except you two are friends. A LOT of staring cause you two are both cowards to do or say anything more than that.

The aroma of grounded coffee beans and freshly baked pastries wafted around the bustling cafe of Piltover. It was the perfect place for you to unwind for awhile, relax into your seat and enjoy the delicious pastries while you finished your little project. The sounds of people conversing and giggling with one another slowly faded into the background as you found yourself engrossed into the image you were trying to draw before your focus was abruptly pulled away from your sketchbook as a familiar thickly accented voice rang in your ears.

That recognizable pretty accented voice could only belong to Caitlyn Kiramman. An enforcer you’ve frequently met and conversed with during you strolls around Piltover. You’ve grown quite close to her despite the differences in your paths, finding common interests and a growing interest towards each other.

Except neither of you knew that the feelings were mutual, convincing yourselves the budding relation with one another is purely platonic.

“If you don’t mind, may I join you?” Caitlyn asked once more, noticing how your focus was still a little bit on your sketchbook.

“Yeah, yes of course” You replied, quickly snapping out of your daze to focus on Caitlyn now. Looking up to see her in her enforcer attire, prim, proper and as always she looked stunning.

She then took the seat infront of you, getting a much closer look of what you were working on “That looks quite hard” she said as she observed the drawing on your sketchbook. Her gaze lingering on the intricate details, the smooth and sharp lines and the blurred shading.

“It’s only hard if you don’t simplify it into basic shapes. Draw what you see not what you think” You playfully retorted.

“Do you think we can draw each other’s portraits then?” She suddenly asked, challenging you and herself. It was a spontaneous idea and compulsive request, a challenge she’ll gladly do if it means she can shamelessly stare at you with no qualms.

“I believe so.” You replied a little too quickly, without much thought or hesitation you accepted her challenge with the same eagerness. An opportunity to stare at her shamelessly to your hearts content too.

So began the challenge of drawing portaits while you silently basked in each other’s company. A few lingering gazes here and there, the occasional sounds of pencils swipping and sliding against the papers and waiters passing by to serve you two.

As you got more and more engrossed into drawing the portrait, your reference started to fade into your mind. Slowly the image of Caitlyn blurred, unable to get a clear look of her features so you peeled your gaze away from your sketchbook to get another good look of your reference. But your instead met with Caitlyn’s eyes staring right back at you, a gaze that could only describe admiration. It’s as if her eyes were tracing every single dip and curve of your features, memorizing the beauty marks that littered your skin and just about inspecting your beautifully sculpted face.

You were staring right back at her too, admiring the curve of her jaw, the tall, slim bridge of her nose and just how sharp and chiseled her features were. Of course this was all in pretense of trying to observe and understand your reference—or so what you tried to convince yourself with.

The silence was stretching, tense yet it wasn’t awkward. Just two girls staring at each other—Admiring the features that uniquely made up each other’s faces for a long while until Caitlyn decided to break the ice, her voice cutting through the silence.

“I’m sorry for staring, it’s just that your easy on the eyes.” She said with an amused chuckle, her words spilled out faster than her mind had processed it.

“easy on the eyes to draw” she sheepishly added, swiftly and smoothly hiding the hidden implications of her compliment—but it was too late for that now.

You immediately knew and understood what she fully meant with her words. You practically choked on your own saliva as you gulped down the wrong pipe. Coughing as your throat was irritated with the unsual sensation. Both of you were in disbelief on what she said, flustered even.

Caitlyn watched in horror as her words took effect on you, coughing and struggling to compose yourself before she quickly suggested “Here, drink this” offering the tea she ordered to soothe your irritated throat.

Yet again, you were staring at her then at the teacup. Your mouth seemed more dry and irritated than it was before as you stared at the teacup Caitlyn offered, it was a simple cup of earl grey tea but one that touched Caitlyn’s lips.

“I can order some water for you if you’d prefer that. I understand that tea doesn’t suit everyone tastes, it’s known to taste quite bitter or plain to some—“ Caitlyn quickly suggested, rambling off as she sensed your hesitance before she finally just stood up from her seat to make her way towards the counter.

It was a simple remedy for both your throat and mouth but it seemed like a hard pill to swallow. You weren’t disgusted nor against the tea she offered it’s just that the circumstances the teacup was in made your cheeks burn softly. It flustered you to drink out of the same teacup Caitlyn drank from—to touch the same rim Caitlyn’s plump, soft and inviting lips touched.

“Nononono—this is fine, thank you” You quickly interjected with a sheepish smile formed on your lips, hastily picking the tea cup from the table. Staring it for a moment, the steam hovering against your face before you finally took a sip from it.

The tea tasted bitter with the various herbs and notes infused to it but it’s unpleasant taste was immediately replaced with sweetness, giddiness as you were pressing your lips against the surface that once made contact with her lips. Receiving an indirect kiss from Caitlyn.

Immediately Caitlyn sat back on her seat, her gaze flickering between the teacup held by your hands—and how your lips wrapped around the rim as you drank from it.

Clearly, you weren’t the only one affected by this cup of tea….

“It’s sweet.” You were lying obviously but you were feeling too giddy to taste the bitterness of the tea

Caitlyn was about to playfully retort to your blatant lie but the familiar voice of her coworker calling her out in the distance cut her off.Unfortunately duty calls for Caitlyn, and your time with her is abruptly cut short by her duties as an enforcer.

Caitlyn let out a soft exasperated huff as she stood up to leave and go back to her shift, frustrated that her break time ended a little too soon and she’ll have to leave you now.

“I’ll see you around?” She asked as she gazed at you one last time, her eyes flickered around your features as if memorize all of it to remember for later.

“In a while.“ You smiled. It was a definite answer, one that your confident of. You were going to see each other later, after all you two always found each other.

She then smiled back at you as she waved you farewell before she left to go back to her shift, patrolling the streets of Piltover.

You were left with her unfinished cup of tea, a sweet memory to go along with it and an unfinished protrait of you. One that you would hold onto until you two finally meet each other once more.

[sequinsmile-x]

Our Field of Dreams, Engulfed in Fire

She tells herself that she’ll get used to it, that the pain she feels over her friend's happy news will fade, but it only gets worse.

-x-

Hi friends,

This is truly up there with one of the saddest things I think I've ever written, so please take heed of the tags/warnings.

As always, please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 4k

Warnings: pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

She laughs as her husband shepherds her into the conference room, his eyebrow raised as he passes her a cup of coffee as she sits down, her eyes narrowed when she eyes him playfully, “What are we doing in here? I have work to do upstairs you know.” 

“I don’t know,” he replies, sitting next to her, “JJ called the meeting. I’m sure Counterterrorism can live without their Unit Chief for 30 minutes.” 

She rolls her eyes and sips her coffee, “I’ll remind you that you said that next time I try and steal you away for lunch.” 

She’d moved departments just before they let everyone know about their relationship, not wanting any technicalities or rules to get in the way of them being happy and together. Aaron had asked her several times if she was sure, as if he was forcing her out of her job, and she’d assured him she was more than sure. A change had been what she’d needed, her desire to pretend everything was as it always had been when she came back from Paris wearing thin. She’d worked her way up in Counterterrorism quickly and often made fun of her husband for the fact she’d made it to his level so fast, a quip that he was clearly the troublemaker out of the two of them always on the tip of her tongue. 

Any response he may have, his smile full of mirth as he looks at her, is cut off as the rest of the team filters in all together, JJ rounding them up before she pulls the door closed behind them, nervous excitement written all over her face. 

“What’s going on, JJ?” Derek asks, sinking into a chair on Emily’s other side, “Can’t be work-related if Mrs Hotch is here.” 

Emily rolls her eyes, shaking her head as he hides his smirk behind his mug, “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” 

“Always at least once more, Princess,” he says, winking at her, and she can’t fight her smile. JJ clears her throat and they all look at her, her amused smile tinged with an edge of nervousness, “Sorry JJ.” 

“It’s okay,” she says, “I wanted to tell you all something and it’s almost impossible to get us all into one room these days.” 

Penelope sits forward, “We’re all listening.” 

Emily watches her friend carefully, the way she smiles widely, how her hand twitches at her side, almost touching her lower belly before she stops herself. Emily feels the ground beneath her disappear, her stomach rolling as she realises what her friend is about to say. It’s like her senses disappear all at once, the happiness and lightheartedness she’d been feeling just moments ago long gone as she reaches for the small pendant around her neck, a disc with an E carved delicately into it that Aaron had bought her close to two years ago now. She presses her thumb against it, feels the curve of the letter pressing into her skin, the sensation something she focuses on as JJ’s announcement rings around them.

“I’m pregnant!” 

She’s grateful no one is paying attention to her, because the joyful cheer from their friends makes her jump, the sound of it drawing her back into herself as she looks around the room. Aaron is still next to her, his hand now on her thigh, and she looks at him, their eyes only briefly meeting before she looks away, sure she’d fall apart if she let him look at her too long. 

She forces herself up, grateful for once for her upbringing, that she’d been taught the language of good manners before anything else when she was young. She congratulates her friend, hoping she doesn’t see past her smile that was only half fake, her genuine happiness for JJ clouded by the grief she could never quite pull herself away from. 

No one knows. She has to remind herself of it, that no one knew, that it was her decision that they didn’t, and it’s the only thing that keeps her in one piece. She manages to stay in the conference room for 10 minutes until she feels like she could drown in the happiness, the taste of it bitter as it washes into her lungs, and she excuses herself, hugging JJ one more time before she leaves. 

She knows Aaron will follow her so she doesn’t go far, sneaking into his office and sinking onto the couch as she waits for him, her eyes fixed on the floor. She isn’t there long before she hears his footsteps followed by the sound of the door to his office closing. He joins her on the couch and he purposely keeps a distance from her, always keen to make sure he takes her lead. 

“Em-”

“Don’t. Please,” she says, shaking her head, her gaze still fixed on the ground, “I just need a minute,” she begs and she’s grateful when he obliges, the room silent other than the clock on the wall. She reaches for his hand and squeezes it, grateful for the press of his ring against her skin, a reminder that no matter what she’d lost she still had this. “I wasn’t expecting that to…” she chokes on a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh, “That felt like a gut punch.” 

“I know,” he says, lifting their joint hands to kiss her knuckles, “Same for me.” 

She turns to look at him, not surprised to find his eyes shining with tears too, “It’s been nearly two years. I thought…I don’t know what I thought.” 

The grief of it, of the babies she’d lost, that she’d never get to know, was something she was strangely used to. An old friend that lingered in every corner and had a seat at every table. A part of their daily lives she thought she had built herself back up around, but this had pulled the rug from under her, her friend's happy news leaving her unsteady. 

They’d tried for a baby for a long time. When she fell pregnant the first time, a sense of finally in the air around her as the test she was staring at had two lines on it for once, she’d felt nothing but happiness. It had been short-lived, a moment of joy brought to an end by familiar cramping in her back and bleeding that stained her thighs. She still remembered the look on the doctor’s face, a strange type of kindness in her smile as she told them they could try again. 

They did, and the second time she fell pregnant quicker, something she tried to tell herself was a sign things were going to work out this time. Her anxiety had lingered, all the fears she couldn’t outrun from losing her first baby still in the back of her mind, but as she entered her second trimester she relaxed. It was something she now cursed herself for, anger that she’d let herself believe she was finally going to have everything she’d ever wanted the very thing that made what was to come even more painful. 

No one knew she was pregnant either time, only Aaron and her doctor, and when she had nothing to show for either of them except for a broken heart and a box full of ultrasound pictures and tests with faded lines, she was grateful for it. Aaron had tried to encourage her at first to talk to someone else if she wanted to, but she’d only ever wanted to talk to him. To share it with someone who understood, and who already shared in the loss. The thought of having sympathy and well-meaning but empty words from other people enough to make her want to scream. 

“Want to talk about it?”

She shakes her head, “Not here,” she says, smiling tightly at him, “Otherwise I think I’ll start crying and never stop.” 

He nods in understanding, “Later? I can ask Jess to take Jack. We can sit in bed and cry whilst we eat all the candy from the pantry.” 

She laughs, the sound wet and thick as it catches in her chest, “You know me so well.” 

“You’re my wife,” he says, reaching out and tucking some of her hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger on her cheek, wiping away a tear he otherwise doesn’t acknowledge, “If I didn’t know you it would be pretty sad.” 

___

She tells herself that she’ll get used to it, that the pain she feels over her friend's happy news will fade, but it only gets worse. JJ stops trying to hide it now she’s told them, the clothes she now wears to the office show off her small bump, her smile wide and happy whenever someone congratulates her. Emily talks about to Aaron about it and decides she needs to talk to JJ, to give her some context on why she was suddenly avoiding her, and why she’d come up with an excuse that sounded lame even to her ears when Penelope mentioned a baby shower. 

When she’s standing on JJ’s porch less than two weeks after her announcement in the conference room, Emily doubts herself. A moment of anxiety flaring in her gut before she forces herself to ring the bell, bravery she knows is fake washing over her as she waits for someone to answer the door. She paints a smile on her face when JJ pulls the door open, her surprise obvious as she finds Emily standing on the other side of it. 

“Emily,” she says, standing back to let her in, “I wasn’t expecting to see you.” 

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” she replies, her gaze drifting to JJ’s stomach, the t-shirt she’s wearing gathering around her small bump. Emily forces herself to look away, sadness and envy and so many emotions she isn’t proud of burning in her chest, “If that’s okay.” 

“Of course,” JJ replies, furrowing her brow as she leads Emily towards the living room, “Will is on bedtime duty tonight so you’re not interrupting anything. Do you want a drink?”

Emily shakes her head, “No, that’s okay.” She sits down on the couch and waits for JJ to join her, but when she opens her mouth no words come out, everything she’d rehearsed on the drive over stuck somewhere in her throat, threatening to choke her as she tries to figure out how to talk about something she’d only ever discussed with her husband. 

“Are you okay?” JJ asks, beating her to it, “You haven’t been acting like yourself lately.” 

Emily chokes on a laugh at that, unsure when she had last been herself. She felt adrift these days. Aaron and Jack and her routine the only things that kept her above water. She clasps her hands in her lap, putting more pressure on her own knuckles than necessary so she can feel something, anything, other than the empty ache low in her belly, “I…I don’t know where to start.” 

“Wherever feels right,” JJ says, her voice so kind it makes Emily want to scream, everything she’d been suppressing for days just below the surface. 

She nods and sighs, “A few years ago, just after Aaron and I got married, I was pregnant,” she says, clearing her throat when her voice catches on the word that makes JJ’s face fall, “Twice actually,” she hates the silence as JJ stares at her, so she carries on, “And I lost both of them.” 

It’s an unnecessary addition, she knows that. JJ knows she doesn’t have any children other than Jack, and Emily wonders if her friend is replaying interactions they’d had together and as a group from the last few years. How Emily’s smile and shoulders would tighten if one of the team mentioned little Hotchner babies, how Aaron would throw daggers at anyone who brought it up. Emily had always assumed they thought she either couldn’t have kids or had chosen not to, their curiosity slowly petering off as the years drifted by. Their friend's thoughts of them having more children disappearing, the hope and possibilities nothing more than flecks of dust in the wind. 

“Oh, Em,” JJ says, her voice hollow, like all the joy had been mined out of it, empathy rushing into it’s place like flood water that Emily does her best to ignore. “Em, I’m so sorry. You never said anything.”

“We…I mostly, decided we didn’t want to,” she says, “The first time we knew for a handful of weeks,” she smiles wistfully as she thinks of it, of a time of innocence she’d burn the world down to get back, “But then I lost it, I was about 8 weeks along. We told everyone we had the flu and took a week off work. The second time I was almost 18 weeks along,” she says, ignoring the shake in her voice and the gasp JJ can’t hold back. Emily is glad she’s sitting down, that she can’t be physically knocked off her feet by the wave of grief that threatens to take her under, “We were waiting until I hit 20 weeks to tell anyone. I woke up in pain and I was bleeding…and I just knew before the doctor even spoke to us.”

“How did you keep it a secret?” JJ asks, her curiosity winning out as she finally speaks, and Emily shrugs half-heartedly. 

“It was winter and baggy sweaters hide a lot,” she sighs, “When I…after I had the baby we took time off work again. Close to a month that time. I can’t even really remember what Aaron said we were doing. We went to Europe for a little while. I don’t remember much about it.” 

“He told us you both had leave Strauss was making you use,” JJ says, filling in a gap for her that she’d never quite been able to ask Aaron to fill, aware that she’d let him deal with a lot of the practicalities during that time, his own grief at their loss pushed down in favour of looking after her. 

“Afterwards, my OBGYN said she thinks the losses were because of my injuries from Ian. I had no issue getting pregnant, but staying pregnant until viability seemed unlikely. We decided to stop trying then,” she sucks in a breath, the air burning her lungs, “I couldn’t go through that again,” she laughs bitterly, the sound strange and wrong but she can’t help it, the thought she’d never been able to entirely shake off chasing it out of her chest, “I can see the irony in it. I took Ian’s son from him and he took mine from me.” 

“You had a boy?” JJ asks, her gaze a mix of shocked and sad that makes Emily’s stomach twist, a strange sense of anger she knows her friend doesn’t deserve rolling in her gut.

“Yeah,” she replies, “I had a boy.” She looks down at her hands, her focus on her wedding rings as she twists them back and forth, “Sometimes…sometimes I feel guilty that we’ve never told anyone else about him. But most of the time I’m glad we didn’t,” she looks up at JJ, her smile tight as she sees the devastation on her friend’s face. She doesn’t reach out, doesn’t try and comfort her, finding no room in her chest to take on someone else's emotions about it, “It makes him just ours, you know? Mine and Aaron’s,” she wipes a stray tear from her cheek, pushing it away with the heel of her hand as she turns away for just a second, “He’s just ours.” 

“What was his name?” JJ asks, the question slipping free before she thinks about it, her eyes going wide as Emily looks up at her in surprise, “You don’t have to-”

“Elliot,” Emily says, smiling as she says her son's name. A name she’d never call out in a park or hear as he crossed a stage at graduation, but she could say it here, her smile soft and sad as she grips the disc-shaped charm on her necklace, her thumb pressed against the engraved E. “We called him Elliot,” she feels her smile tremble as she looks away from her friend, the empathy in JJ’s eyes almost too much for her to bear, “Thank you for asking.” 

“Thank you for telling me,” JJ replies, resisting the urge to press her hand against her small bump, desperate not to draw attention to the very thing that had started this conversation in the first place, “Elliot’s a lovely name.” 

Emily sighs, the breath catching on all her ribs on the way out, the space in her chest that was left empty the day she lost her son aching in a way she knows would never go away, nor would she want it to. It was one of the few reminders she had that he’d existed. A hollowed-out part of her that would always be that way but that she’d learnt to live with. 

“I just wanted to tell you why…” she closes her eyes and shakes her head, her tongue peeking out to lick at her lower lip, “Why I’ll struggle to be involved with parts of this,” she swallows thickly, “Maybe all of it. And I’m so sorry-”

“No, Em,” JJ says, finally closing the gap between them and reaching for Emily’s hand, squeezing it tightly as she encourages her to look at her, “You have nothing to apologise for. Thank you for telling me. I won’t tell anyone, not even Will, if you don’t want me to. If I had known, I would have told you separately, not in front of everyone.”

“Thank you, and I know you would have. I guess I didn’t realise how much something like this would impact me until it happened. I am sorry though,” she squeezes JJ’s hand, “I’m sorry that I can’t be a better friend for a while.” 

JJ pulls her into a hug, careful to make sure she doesn’t press her bump against her, desperate to make sure she doesn’t upset her friend any more than she needs to, “No matter what, you’re still one of the best friend’s I’ve ever had, okay?” 

Emily laughs humourlessly and pulls back, “Okay,” she smiles tightly, her gaze drifting to the pile of toys in the corner, brightly coloured bits of plastic she’d only ever bought for her friend’s children, and she blows out a shaky breath, “I should go home, Aaron will be waiting for me.” 

They exchange hugs and goodbyes, both of them aware this would be the last time they’d be together like this for a while. Something that weighed heavily on both of them, but was the right decision, neither one of them wanting to hurt the other with things out of their control.  Emily texts Aaron to say she’s on her way back, and she’s proud of herself for making it back to her car before she bursts into tears. 

___

He’s waiting for her when she gets home, the house silent apart from the quiet of the TV that he switches off the moment he hears the front door open and close. She slips off her jacket and her boots and walks into the living room, her shaking smile doing nothing to distract him from her red eyes and puffy face. 

Aaron lays down, already knowing what she needs, and she crawls on top of him, wedged partially between him and the back of the couch as she presses her cheek on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat a comfort she’d never get enough of. He wraps his arms around her and one of his hands cups the back of her head, holding her in place as if anything could pull her away from him. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks, his hand running up and down her back, the other still tangled in her hair, “Or do you just want to lay here.” 

She knew that what they’d gone through could have easily broken them apart. Both of them so weighed down by grief, so busy drowning in it, that they could have forgotten to reach for each other. But he’d been her rock, and somehow she’d found it in herself to be his. They’d held on tight and weathered the storm and come out stronger, her love for him now ten times what it was when she married him, something she would have at the time said was impossible. 

“She understood. I..I told her about Elliot,” she says, instead of answering “I didn’t know if I would but I did,” she feels him hold her even tighter, his kiss against her forehead firm, “It felt nice talking about him.” 

He kisses the top of her head again, “It always does,” he says, scratching at her scalp, something he’d done for her since those long nights at the start when she’d cried herself to sleep, “How does it feel to have told your best friend?” 

She smiles sadly and shifts so her chin is resting on his chest so she’s looking at him, “You’re my best friend,” she says softly, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair, “So my best friend has always known.” 

He turns his head and kisses her palm, “You’re my best friend too, sweetheart,” he kisses her palm again, “I’d ask how you’re feeling, but I guess that’s a stupid question.” 

She shakes her head at him, “Never stupid,” she says, her smile tinged with sadness, “It’s strange to think in another life we’d have an almost two-year-old.” 

It was a thought she could never outrun. A ghost of another life walking in tandem with her, forever tapping her on the shoulder and reminding her of what she’d lost, as if she could forget even for a second, whenever she saw a little boy who would be around Elliot’s age. A child’s loud laughter in public that would stop her in her tracks and remind her she’d never know her own son’s laugh or even his cry. A gap in her knowledge of him that could never be filled, the possibilities of what he could have been neverending. 

“I think about that too,” he says, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, “I wonder what he’d be into. What gift we’d get him for his birthday and what theme the cake Penelope would make for him would have.” 

She laughs, the sound weak and sad as it settles into her hollowed out chest, “When I picture him, I just see a tiny version of you. Right down to his eyes.” 

“I always imagine him with yours.” 

It’s a conversation they’d had countless times since the day they met and lost their son, and one she knows they’ll have for the rest of their lives. The what could have beens and what should have beens as painful as they were happy. Wistful and full of sorrow, as deep and full of unknowns as the sea. 

“I wish things could have been different,” she says, not even attempting to stop her tears, smiling shakily at Aaron as he immediately wipes them away, “I…” she drifts off, not sure that she could ever put it into words, and he nods, encouraging her closer so she can press her face into his neck, his tears splashing into her hair. 

“I know, sweetheart,” he says, because he did, he understood the loss because it was something they shared, something that was theirs, “I know.” 

“I’ll always remember what the nurse said,” she whispers, thinking of the kind woman who’d looked after them before they were sent home with a memory box they kept safe in their bedroom, “Clara. She told me that he’d only ever known love and warmth. That this world hadn’t had a chance to hurt him and never would,” she sucks in a breath and reaches for his hand, linking their fingers together, “I like to think that’s true.” 

He rests his cheek against the top of her head, damp with the tears he’d shed, and he holds her close, providing her with an anchor as he uses her just the same. 

“Me too sweetheart,” he whispers, “Me too.” 

[talshiargirlfriend]

You want prompts, do you? Well, then:

7. Can I kiss you?

21. Sleepy

31. Dancing

Doesn't even have to be of your step-blorbos (though you know I'm ever-hopeful!) 🫦

The version with my step-blorbos is coming, but Pike and Number One were apparently so eager to claim this prompt they shoved their way to the front of the queue! 🤭

It’s approaching midnight. They’ve been awake since 0400 but the urge to celebrate this year ending is strong. They’re here, side by side, Ship Mom and Dad, ready to look the new year in the eye and face whatever it will bring. 

Music is playing softly. Nyota would be able to identify it, but Una just knows it sounds sweet and plaintive, the kind of melody made to accompany falling in love or saying goodbye. 

Ostensibly they’re dancing, but Chris is sleepy. His movements are so slow and relaxed they’re really only swaying at this point, locked in a sort of rhythmic hug. His chest is solid and comforting pressed against her, and the brush of his stubble tingles her cheek. 

She tilts away slightly to get a better look at him. He follows her lead while maintaining a firm grip on her back, a slight question in his gaze. Una runs her eyes over the familiar features of his beautiful beloved face and reaches up to brush her thumb over his jaw. Chris smirks, likely anticipating a quip about him needing to shave. 

Instead she asks, “Can I kiss you?”

“At midnight? Always, Number One.” He reaches for the hand that was caressing his face and gives it a squeeze as he smiles fondly at her. 

Una isn’t sleepy, but by the Sacred Spring, she is tired. So tired of hiding in plain sight. She could play it off and let this moment pass like all the others before it. They could share another chaste peck at midnight. It’s a time-honoured tradition, an affirmation that Chris is her best friend, her Boy Scout - her person … but not her guy. 

But what if— 

“I don’t want to wait for midnight,” she blurts out. Smooth, Una. 

A number of expressions flit across Chris’s face in quick succession. Una’s chest flutters with a rising sense of panic before he seems to settle on a stunned smile and rapid enthusiastic nodding. 

“Okay. Now!” he says, and then he grins ruefully like he didn’t mean to make it sound like an order. Smooth, Christopher, Una thinks in amusement, grinning brightly because he’s on board. They’re going to do this! 

She closes her eyes and leans in to meet him halfway. His lips are warm and soft. At first it’s gentle and familiar, like any of a dozen quick kisses they’ve shared in their long friendship, but as it lingers…

There it is. The spark they both knew was there waiting for them ignites. 

He grips her face gently but firmly like he’s afraid she’ll vanish if he lets go. Her heart is fluttering again but instead of panic it’s full of joy and anticipation and something more. The love that was always there is now joined by desire.

Their kisses get sloppier as they intensify. His hands are in her hair and then his mouth is on her throat and she’s gripping his jaw and then his ass and he’s making low sounds of approval that are excitingly new to her ears. 

“Helloooo, Mom and Dad! You in there? You awake?” Erica’s voice chirps through the speaker on the wall. 

Chris scowls at the intercom and jabs the button with a little too much force. “Nice comm discipline, Lieutenant Ortegas. Very respectful of your senior officers.”

She laughs unapologetically, “Hey, none of us are on duty, Captain, and it’s a holiday. Live a little.”

“I’m trying to,” he mutters with a heated glance at Una before turning back to the intercom and clearing his throat. “Is there something you need?”

“I just wanted to invite you down to the mess hall. We decided to do a countdown after all. Spock has his harp. And there’s cake,” Ortegas adds in a sing-song. 

Chris and Una share a long look. 

“Mom and I will be right there,” Una declares.

Erica cackles as she closes the connection. 

“I’m Mom?” Chris sounds scandalised, and Una can’t help but laugh. He’s still her best friend and her Boy Scout and her person. 

“‘Fraid so,” she confirms as she straightens her hair and takes him by the arm. “Come on, let’s not miss the countdown.”

“But we’ll come back to this later?” He taps his bottom lip and motions between the two of them with his finger, seeking reassurance she is happy to provide. 

Not trusting herself to kiss him again just yet, she repeats his gesture and taps his bottom lip with her index finger. “Oh yes, we will definitely revisit this very soon.” 

P.S. Any half-baked ideas I have about Illyrian culture (such as the expression “by the Sacred Spring”) are based on @curator-on-ao3 ‘s beautiful world-building. 💕