#but i don’t think ill get it back
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
💬
#i lost my beloved url#i’m so heartbroken#i dunno if tumblr nuked it#but i don’t think ill get it back#cuz it was just a saved url#😞
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you think Dick is Kory’s primary medical… assistant (??) as in he is the one who gives her her vaccine shots and get blood samples? Because of her Trauma of being test subject she canonically hates anything that reminds her of labs and such but she still need a medical record? She can’t be just immune to everything on earth and even if so there is a whole space out there (i assume she could be allergic to something at least), my point is she still need some kind of medical records with whatever information she is willing to give and what the team could learn from other Tamarians physiology, and I assume its Dick who is being her assigned medical assistant (doing the needle work, doing her X -rays and screening etc at least being in the same room or on the microphone maybe hold her hand in dental appointments lol) like she probably have PTSD about being experimented on and i assume Dick didn’t just think they can avoid hospitals and medical care forever lol
Yk, Part of how Dick also helped Kory and it wasn’t just one way thing
#Sorry i don’t know what the word is for it so i called him medical assistant??#he wouldn’t be caregiver because im not talking about only when she is ill#im talking about how he helps with her whole medical anxiety and potential PTSD#She can flip a truck but wouldn’t get near any needle#she can fight swords because mentally she is aware she can fight back but in a lab she is probably drugged#and can’t move to fight and that’s what terrifies her i think#just thinking of soft Dick doing full research with all his scientific knowledge to insure this is their best option#and explaining what they are going to do exactly step by step so she be less anxious#you get where im going with this#soft day afterwards!! Kory take care of him but he also take care of her 💕#i love mutuality in relationship#koriande’r#kory anders#Dick Grayson#Nightwing#Titans#My dickkory hc/ things i wanna see for them
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
i can feel a wave of depression building up rn ☹️😧
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/67a660c44fa4279bab1c442685939581/14d958e132fcbf5f-09/s400x600/a6b2c89f66435c37f52a42f62c917c17bb83b0dd.jpg)
gonna read a bunch of cherik fics to settle it down before it gets too bad
#love having depression making me sad for no fuckin reason 🤨#if i didnt have a class soon i would watch dp#although don’t know how well that would help my mood#complete character butchering in it#charles got partially depressed after becoming bald#i feel you girl#i’m not bald tho#if someone tried to watch the xmen films in chronological order i wonder how confused they would be to see raven die and then come back#this is why you watch it by release order#still doesn’t make sense cause the writer haven’t got a clue on how to keep things consistent but anyway#my brain is being depressed but also trying to figure out how to structure a fic#i havent written one in years#i got the sense of it needing to be perfect first try#need to get rid of that mindset asap#i got the weirdest combo of being mentally ill and emotionally intelligent#it pisses me off sometimes#i don’t need a therapist i have myself telling me whats what#thats a lie i do need to talk to people#why can’t i think of cherik 24/7 why do i need to have problems? ☹️#anyway i’m bored and im gonna figure out what to do with myself before my class starts#prob read a fic figure out how these people write while also enjoy the stories#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#magneto#professor x
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
AU where after feeling under the weather for much longer than a normal sickness is supposed to last, jason todd finally goes to see a doctor and after being tested a couple of times, is told that he has a terminal illness and that he has only a couple of months left to live.
what makes this situation even worse and hits jason right where it hurts is that the disease that he was diagnosed with is the exact same one that his mother catherine todd was diagnosed with all those years ago.
#batman#dc comics#dc universe#dcu#jason todd#jason peter todd#jason todd au#catherine todd#terminal illness au#iirc didn’t catherine have a terminal illness before it became a drug addiction?#jason todd angst au#i read a fic a while back where jason was dying of cancer i just can’t remember the name for the life of me#jason todd dc#jason doesn’t really care that he’s dying he only wants to know if this illness will be what kills him for good#because he canonically is passively suicidal he’s just going with the flow#jason buys himself a new grave and gets his affairs in order#the batfam only figure out something is up when the red hood hasn’t made an appearance in months#bc i don’t think jason would tell them that he’s dying bc he doesn’t think that anyone (read: bruce) would care if he died again#jason would probably get cremated and have his ashes scattered across the ocean or something#batfamily#jason todd is dying of the same illness that drove his mom to her death au#the lazarus pit that’s still in jason’s body is working overtime against the illness but there’s only so much that it can do#i’m having thoughts about jason again#catherine and jason todd#like mother like son au#dc#jason todd is red hood#red hood#there’s like 2 fics that i’ve read where jason is dying and both of them made me cry (i just can’t remember their names rn)#the lazarus pit vs jason’s terminal illness: who will come out as the ultimate winner?
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
the way the broom closet and the infinite hole being nearly parallels to the other in that they are both areas of the game that stanley has immense attachment to but the narrator doesn’t understand why and makes an entirely huge fuss about his confusion for the affection towards these areas. I think what makes the infinite hole just as funny is the fact that despite succeeding in making a new game feature that stanley seems to really enjoy, he’s so much more focused on the fact that stanley is enjoying it the “wrong” way. aspects of the game that go hand in hand with the bucket.
#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#YEAH ILL MAINTAG IT LOL#anyway. I find it interesting that the narrator has a specific way set in his head that stanley/the player-#-is meant to interact with the game. and when they don’t interact in the way that he expects them to#-he gets pretty heated or overal frustrated#which his reactions are the best best but it’s just interesting to think about#how the bucket the broom closet AND the infinite hole have this same issue#but also the general overall stance of the game and how we going about leading stanley around#it’s interesting!! it’s fun to examine!!#play my game right and you’ll be rewarded. play my game wrong and I’ll explode you to pieces#I just think it’s fun that every aspect of the game comes back to this singular conclusion!#no matter what. it’s always about choice. good good shit
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh god stop whining about getting older. do yall realize how lucky you are? how lucky you are to have made it this far, to have survived everything life throws at you, to live in a world that others have worked so fucking hard on to make sure you have the best possible chance at survival. our ancestors did all this to ensure the world you inherit is better, easier, kinder, softer than the one they did. stop shitting out the self-deprecating “jokes” about getting old (they do not land the way you think they do. it’s just awkward), stop saying you’re “thirty-five years young,” stop claiming your life is over because you’re no longer in your twenties. do you know how many people would do anything to be where life is set up to help you succeed, survive, savor? do you know how many people died before they turned twenty-one when all they wanted was to live? to cook their favorite recipe again, to hug their best friend again, to watch the sun sink below the horizon again knowing that, in just a few hours, it will rise and they’ll be there to watch it paint the sky and prompt birds to sing. how dare you take for granted what the people who died too soon would have given anything to experience even once more. how dare you whine about wrinkles and grey hair and stiff, creaky knees when others have no voice with which to speak from beyond the grave, let alone callused fingertips to pet a dog, play a piano, peel a banana. how dare you whine about sagging tits and blurry vision and crow’s feet when you’re still alive to hear your next favorite song, to read your next favorite book, to meet your next favorite person, to eat your next favorite dessert. it is not a bad thing to age. it is not a bad thing to no longer be young or look youthful. your body has done the very thing it is meant to. treat it—treat yourself—with the respect you and your body both deserve.
#brought to you by me recently turning 30#and writing a very wholesome (in her words) message on the birthday card for my little sister who just turned 25#she asked why i made it wholesome. i said bc i am now 30 and no longer care to hide behind jokes#to which my mom said ‘i suppose that’s one good thing about getting older!’#and all i can think about is my past suicide ideation#how back then i never thought id make it to 25 let alone 30#in two years ill be the age my eldest brother was when he died#my older brother has already lived a year longer than him#i don’t want to spend the rest of my life—let alone another day—being too self-conscious to be honest#to be wholesome and affectionate#also idk if this even makes sense im so fucking tired and burnt out and i have a headcold#but oh well. hitting post and logging off.#ageism
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi guys i was in an accident and had to be in the hospital for a while but im home now
#stressful bday month but we r back hello#had to get some meds out of my system but im alright now#my surgeries went well and physically my injuries r like a bad bike accident but ye nothing bad my face is fine now too mostly#got bumped to the side and broke my face and arm#something w my hip but it healed itself didnt break or smn#school on pause dont have to go so ill have time to relax anyway#reblogged some stuff in the hospital too which is funny bc i don’t remember when or that i did it after the accident but i remember#actually doing it#hopefully i can put this whole experience behind me now#i have some therapy recommended but thats understandable#it was worse than what im describing rn but i dont remember anyway it was just rough as a whole#my memories sorrounding it r vague and little but thats normal#acute stress phase but i think we avoided it becoming ptsd#i survived and thats what matters#shout out to the doctors that saved me#mostly from drowning in blood
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
If I don’t survive the night,
If I make it to the morning-
#tmnt 2003#casey jones#raphael splinterson#does this count as 03 when it is technically the reboot#TMNT turtles forever#rasey#don’t get me wrong this can be platonic but I’m mentally Ill so I’m tagging the ship regardless#me and my friend watched this like 7 months ago but urgh the bit where raph goes back shouting for Casey and Leo has to grab his shoulder#to lead him out of harms way……urgh#couldn’t stop thinking about it and really wanted to draw them hugging#have done a rasey gift for my friend and almost did 03 hugging but I didn’t something else so#had to get this out my system regardless#shoutout to ray Leo and Rena for letting me pester you while I did this#one one month left of 2023….unreal….#i just think when raph gets casey back audience be damned hell give him the biggest tightest hug he can#theyre just peas in a pod in this version just so completely in sync and inseperable#i cant cope im ugly crying over this#i wish i was good with words
116 notes
·
View notes
Text
THAT ONE SCENE IN GENERATOR REX WHERE REX SEES HIS DAD’S OLD LAB AND WALKS THROUGH IT AND THE NON-DIEGETIC SOUNDS ARE MOSTLY JUST WALKING AND VERY SOFT MUSIC, MORE LIKE AMBIANCE PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND IT’S INTERSPERSED WITH HAPPY MOMENTS OF BABY REX AND HIS DAD AND A SCENE OF THE CHAOS DURING THE NANITE EVENT AND THE COFFEE CUP DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE COFFEE CUP AND THEN REX SEES A PICTURE OF HIM AND HIS DAD AND REX LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE HIM AND THE ONLY DIALOGUE IS REX SAYING “Huh… dad” IT CAUSES ME STRONG FEELINGS I CANNOT PINPOINT AND I LOVE IT
#i don’t think we talk enough about rex’s dad and the show doesn’t either#rex was just. so loved#and he can’t remember it#i would say it makes me physically ill but that’s just the migraines tbh#but yeah also that coffee mug that damn coffee mug#someone made coffee to drink while they were doing science#and it got left there and nobody came back for it#it’s such a simple thing but so profoundly sad#it’s not that i like coffee i hate coffee it’s the thought that this was a normal night#someone got themselves a cup of coffee probably gearing up for an all-nighter#and whoever that was is likely dead#and rex picked up the cup and set it upright and for whatever reason that makes me foam at the mouth every time#that scene and the scene where van kleiss gets hit by a train are saved in my phone’s photo album#generator rex#generator rex spoilers#generator rex season three#rex salazar#rafael salazar
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
i do think this fic is like. 75% done. and if i wasn’t doing a full family holiday for the next few days i would have it done by the end of the weekend but . noooo. anyways lake photo for your troubles:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e2a32a53723b7ed6f02a78e8aaffb310/d7fc9a6aebabd7e0-ba/s540x810/7bf8d82278e4f16183de238401b7e91dcabec12a.jpg)
#‘75%’ like i don’t have an entire sex scene that’s currently like five sentences.#really tho besides the sex scene i just have to elaborate on monza and zandvoort and ill be done lol#i think i might manage to get it done by the end of the year if monday and tuesday go incredibly well tho#it’s really hard to do this stage of writing on my phone which is the primary thing holding me back
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
if anyone does anything that makes me feel even remotely out of control it changes my brain chemistry about them forever even if I know they mean well and want so badly for things to go back to the way they used to but they can never go back and I hate myself for that
#ill literally ruin every friendship ig#does anyone else experience this bc it’s actually so fucked up I hate it sm#and like im good at pretending it’s ok so even if the other person goes back to normal I never am#it’s like the grudge just stays forever no matter how much forgiveness I logical have#and the association w the person just feels sickening even if they r so full of love#and I think that talking about it will help but it just digs a further hole#like it always get resolved on their end but somehow I feel worse#I’ve lost some of the greatest ppl bc of this :(#like ppl make mistakes#and sometimes it’s not even a mistake or anything wrong im just insane#and then I feel I don’t treat them as well but not in ways they would notice ugh idk im actually fkd#hence I mostly cut them off bc I don’t wanna treat them badly they don’t deserve it#but im also sick of cutting ppl pff who r genuinely so nice and made one off comment#bc I’ve made plenty of off comments im sure bc im human and yet other ppl r ok w it like y can’t I be#anyways usually the whole reason they have even said anything that has put me off them is just their reaction to me being mentally ill#so it kinda all stems from me everytim LOL yay
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
im doing something different for commissions this coming time
#i have to cleanup/line/color/ the last of the work I have to do#and then im gonna take a break for a week or two#for the next batch it’s gonna be different I’ve decided#im probably going to make them ko-fi 6 or 8 slots first come first serve#im gonna raise my prices too. im sorry if this an inconvenience#im not going to get too personal but there like rough changes happening in my life and i feel very physically sick rn#i feel very ill and im feeling so intensely ever since being off my meds. I don’t want to make it anyone’s problem#im SO greatful to the people who want art from me. and im so greatful for the commissions i get.#I think I worked myself to the point of misery . im feeing the physical effects of it#im just physically exhausted and I don’t want to burn myself out#I can barely respond to people and I don’t want to have others deal with it#I have no other ways of getting money so I physically depend on these#I don’t want to feel like im only good for making art . i don’t want to make it seem like im lazy when im working everyday#hopefully I finish the rest of my work in the coming week. I appreciate everyone whose supported me and my art#and im sorry for being a bit of a downer. I’ll get back to regular posting 🧡#txt
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
If I close my eyes and concentrate realllyyy hard I can pretend im in my animal crossing room
#im in need of a change I don’t like the way im living rn.. a lot of my belongings were picked out for me#by people who thought their way of doing things was better and Ive had to find workarounds my whole life bc of how I live differently#Ive never thought of myself as someone who cares abt how their room looks. but i want it to have things I like even if its just preference#Ive thought abt it for a while and I dont think Im picky I just dont like it when ppl buy me things expecting me to use it the way they#expect me to.. I just end up with a lot of crap that I feel too guilty throwing away just bc someone thought of me#the only way I can describe my taste is that I know what I’ll like when I see it.. if I can clearly see myself making the most out of it#if I constantly have to use workarounds just to use smth you decided for me im not gonna wanna use it unless I have to#literally i could not be bothered to pull out a notebook and write down important information until I got a blues clues notebook#because I liked it and it made it fun for me to whip out that I actually wanna use it. yknow#so rn im trying to get a drafting table because the one that came with my loft bed is ass and I cant cut my prints on it#I end up cutting on the floor and my back hurts if I do it too long.. and I wanna get a bookshelf for my closet and a bench for my bag#things Ill look at and want to use because I already knew how I wanted to use it and just do it without thinking too hard#yapping#diary
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)
#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers#art by seaweed#words by seaweed#X-Men Red#the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire#“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did#“he's a douche” mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death#Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans#I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self#and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era#he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously#creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy#Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc#Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him#instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre#but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too#and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also#he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chanting softly to myself: visible braces are not bad. It is good to use them when you need them. Visible braces are not bad. It is good to use them when you need them. Visible braces are not bad. It is good to use them when you need them.
#the ups and downs of chronic illness#disability#joint pain#chronic illness#hypermobile ehlers danlos#this post brought to you by my knee brace#do I wear hand braces all the time? yep!#do I also always wear my knee brace with long skirts bc I’m self conscious about it? yep!#and I’m wearing a dress that doesn’t fully hide it today#why do I have this double standard?#anyways my knee brace kicks ass and I need it today bc my knee hurts more than usual#and that is morally neutral#and if people mention it I don’t have to engage#idk I think part of my insecurity comes because I embroidered it and made it pretty#and like#that very much denotes that it’s a long term thing#so maybe I’ll get less sports injury comments#that being said I love to clap back with#sports injury? yeah the extreme sport of being born#god I wish I could just yeet the internalised ableism out of me already#alas we live in a society etc.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
going to try to predict my wrapped for next year
ethel
arcade fire
the smiths
bright eyes
anyone else do this if you want <3
#excited for fka too but i don’t think she’ll make it#feel my smiths era or 2019/20 coming back#also was listening to arcade fire a lot today just a feeling#also depends on what shows get announced#maybe ill have a return to jesus with lana#maybe a la dispute/mewithoutyou phase again#or a band that shant be named#or radiohead or something#save
5 notes
·
View notes