#but i do miss the place they had in my life and being able to just text someone and see if they wanna hang out
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tweedlydumbtweedlydoo · 22 hours ago
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a Second Chance | Rafe Cameron x Maybank!reader
Summary: After being in a secret relationship with Rafe and becoming pregnant, he denied the entire relationship, making it known your son wasn’t his. However, he can’t deny it for much longer - your son is the spitting image of Rafe. 
Part 1 
A/N: This is a continuation of the fic above. This can be read as stand alone or you can read the other first for a bit of background on how things played out and telling Rafe you were expecting. 
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Your son's giggles were music to your ears. You smiled in adoration at his uncle JJ chasing him through the yard, his little toddler legs moving as fast as they could. He loved his uncle JJ. And his other aunts and uncles too. After all the drama with Rafe, he and the other Pogues stepped in, becoming your village and boy are you glad you had them. You wouldn’t have been able to do it without them. 
Rafe continued the story, the baby wasn’t his and you were never in a relationship. However, as time has passed, people are starting to get suspicious, especially as your son grows because he’s the spitting image of Rafe. It is getting to the point, Rafe truly can’t deny him. 
“Come on boys, let's get to the beach before it gets crowded,” You call out to JJ and Jackson; the other Pogues loading up in the Twinkie. You and JJ worked hard, going in half on a car that JJ rebuilt to make it drivable. JJ knew the Twinkie wouldn’t be a safe vehicle to transport his tiny nephew and made it his mission to find you something sustainable and reliable. 
“Mama!” Jackson squeals as he nears, jumping into your arms. 
You laugh and kiss his head before placing him in his carseat and securing him. “Ready to go to the beach?” 
He nods with a big grin; Rafe’s smile. The smile you’d fell in love with. You can’t deny it doesn’t hurt a little when you look at your son, because staring back is Rafe and all the hurt that came with him. But you wouldn’t trade Jackson for anything in the world. He’d brought light into your life and filled your broken heart. Jackson is so smart and intelligent, even at only 3 years old. He’s got a sweet and loving personality and he loves when he can make you laugh. And Rafe is missing it all, time he will never get back.
~
After settling at a spot on the beach, you all unpacked, setting the chairs and umbrella up. Pope dropping the cooler under the umbrella with a grunt, “jeez what the hell did you guys pack in that thing.” 
Jackson started tugging you toward the water, “come mama!” 
“No baby hold on, let's put sunscreen on first. Then you can get in the water.” 
He pouts but stops tugging, letting you lather him in the sunscreen. 
“Once mama is finished me and you can go check out those waves!”  JJ holds his fist to Jackson, who returns with a fist bump. 
“Alright you’re finished!” You kiss him on the head and he takes off toward the water with JJ. JJ picks him up and wades into the water with him. Jackson laughing hysterically as the waves crash against them. 
“beer?” Kie asks, as you take a seat in the beach chair next to her. 
"Yes thank you,” you sigh, taking a sip, “I love that the beach is nearly empty-” 
Loud music catches you and the other Pogues attention, watching as a couple trucks and a jeep drive thru the sand behind you. You recognized Topper’s jeep and groaned. 
“Please keep driving..” Sarah pleads. 
“Anywhere but here.” Kie adds. 
“Of course.” John B says as they stop a little ways down the beach, “This entire beach and they pick that spot?” 
You take a sip of your beer, nearly choking on it as you see someone hop out of the dark blue truck. Rafe. 
“Shit.” Kie mumbles. 
He rounds the truck and opens the passenger side, another person gets out of the truck and it’s Sofia. 
Sarah places a gentle hand on your arm, “you gonna be ok?” 
You give her a reassuring smile and nod, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine.” You gaze out at the ocean, JJ has noticed the kooks and he looks over at you, a look of concern on his face. You nod at him, letting him know you’re okay. He continues to play with Jackson, holding his hand as he stands with his toes in the sand, jumping over the waves as they break against the beach. 
“We’re both adults here. Maybe me more than him but it’s ok.” You glance between Sarah and Kie, “He’s living his best life - while I raise our son that he denies is his.” 
John B squeezes your shoulders, “And you’re doing a damn good job at it too.” 
The rest of the Pogues pipe in, “Hell ya you are,” “You’re killing it.” 
“Thanks you guys,” Your eyes dance between the Pogues, “I couldn’t have done it without you guys,” Your eyes grow teary, “Ok okay stop you guys are gonna make me cry,” You shake your hands out, wiping your face, “enough sappy talk. Let’s enjoy our beach day!” 
Rafe watches you and the Pogues playing with Jackson by the water, taking a sip of his beer. 
Sofia comes up beside him, wrapping her arm around his waist, “Her son is cute,” She says with a smile, looking up at him. 
He hums in response, not pulling his eyes from you and Jackson. He knew now, there was no denying Jackson. He looked just like him. Topper flat out asked the other day if Jackson was his. 
“He looks just like you man.” 
Rafe shrugged, “I don’t see it. He’s not mine though. She was screwing everyone on the island. There’s no telling who the father is.” He tried to keep up with the lie, but Topper wasn’t stupid. Topper knew you weren’t sleeping around, you’d never been like that. But he let him continue the lie, dropping the topic completely. 
“I bet our kids will be cute.” 
Now that caught his attention. He snaps his head toward her, “What?�� 
Sofia smiles, “When we have kids, I bet they will be cute.” She’s in dreamland, wondering what life with Rafe Cameron would be like. Getting married, having a big house on the island, having kids etc etc. Little did she know, Rafe wasn’t planning a future with her. 
He nod and takes another sip of his beer, deciding not to say anything. 
“Jackson wait-” 
Rafe turns in time to see a ball rolling his way and Jackson chasing it. You weren’t too far behind. 
Rafe bends down and picks up the ball, staying at Jackson’s level as he approaches. Jackson is hesitant to take it. 
“Jackson, you can’t just run off-” 
Rafe feels like he’s staring at a mirror. Topper’s right, he looks just like him. The little boys eyes are innocent and he’s overcome with a feeling he can’t describe. He feels protective of the small boy in front of him, like a father would. A surge of love flowing through him. How could anyone leave this boy without a dad? How could he have abandoned his son? Something changed the moment he looked into Jackson’s eyes.
“Here you go, buddy,” Rafe holds the ball out to him with a smile. 
Jackson hesitantly takes it, looking up at you, with a small pout on his lips, “Sorry mama, my ball.” 
Rafe slowly stands, the two of you coming face to face for the first time since you told him you were pregnant. 
“It’s ok baby, you just can’t run off like that.” You run your fingers through his hair. You will yourself to meet Rafe’s eyes, “Sorry about that, we’ll get out of your way.” 
“It’s ok.” Rafe can’t seem to tear his eyes away from you. Is it possible to be more beautiful? Motherhood treated you well and he’s overwhelmed with pride to know you did it all on your own because of his stupid decision. His stupid immature decision. 
Your eyes glance to Sofia, who steps up next to Rafe, pulling him from his trance, “your son.. he’s adorable.” 
You give her a small smile, “Thank you.” 
Rafe is mesmerized by you. He doesn’t know what’s over come him but the feelings that he buried deep inside have started bubbling to the surface. 
“Jackson, you know you’re not suppose to talk to strangers.” JJ takes a dig at Rafe as he approaches, scooping up Jackson in his arms. 
Rafe’s jaw clenches at JJ’s comment. Stranger. He’s no stranger. He’s his father- but he catches himself. JJ’s right. He truly is a stranger to him and he has no right to call himself his father. 
Jackson wraps his tiny arms around JJ’s neck, snuggling into his shoulder. That stirs some jealousy within Rafe. He should be the one hugging his son and playing ball with him on the beach. He should be the one there, the three of you as a family. 
“We better get back. Sorry for bothering you guys.” You apologized, following JJ back to the rest of the pogues. 
Rafe watches you walk away, his heart aching. He should have told you the truth. And he shouldn’t have lied all these years about Jackson. 
 ~ 
JJ holds Jackson with one arm and wraps his other around your shoulders, “you ok?” 
You nod, “I’m good. You shouldn’t have made the comment you did” 
JJ rolls his eyes, “it’s not like it wasn’t true. He’s a stranger.” 
You shrug, “I know but-“ 
“No buts. He’s a stranger to Jackson. Even if he shares DNA with him.” He snaps back. 
It was a touchy subject with JJ and you knew the conversation was over. JJ was protective over you and he held a huge grudge against Rafe for abandoning the two of you. Especially Jackson. He wanted Jackson to have a dad, something you and him didn’t have growing up. 
Rafe laid in bed that night with you and Jackson on his mind. He couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning the entire night. Sofia is sound asleep next to him. He squints, peering to check the time on the clock, 6:37 am. He sighs running a hand over his face before quietly getting out of bed and toward the shower. He wanted to see you again and talk. He needed to talk to you. 
“Rafe?” Sofia’s sleepy voice calls out to him, hands feeling his spot on the bed. 
Rafe comes to her side, showered and dressed, kisses her forehead. “Early meeting. Be back later.” 
She hums and turns back over, falling back asleep. 
He pulls up to the Maybank house a little while later. Glancing over in the passenger seat, coffee for you and him. He hopes you still liked your coffee with 2 creams and 2 sugars. He also picked up some muffins and donuts, unsure what Jackson would like. 
He was nervous, gripping the steering wheel. Maybe he shouldn’t do this. He can still turn around and go home. You don’t even know he’s here yet. 
He shakes his head, no there’s no talking him out of this. He needs to have this talk. He’s 2 years two late. Technically almost 3 years. 
Well shit there’s no turning around now cause here you come walking toward his truck. He takes a deep breath, now or never. 
He steps out of the truck, “morning.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” You ask tightening your robe around you, “it’s nearly 7:30 in the morning.” 
“Brought coffee and breakfast.” He says, reaching inside to grab the coffee and bag. “I was hoping we could talk?” 
“Now you want to talk? You’re a couple years too late Rafe.” You’re eyeing the coffee, yearning for your boost of caffeine. 
He sighs, “I know, I have no right to show up here unannounced either but, after seeing you guys yesterday I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He offers the coffee, “two cream and two sugar?” 
You nod, slowly reaching to take the coffee, “you still remember?” You ask, surprised. Even after all these years he remembered? You felt a soft tug on your heart. No y/n. You tell yourself, smooshing those feelings back down. It was not the time to go soft. 
He shrugs, also handing you the bag of muffins and donuts, “It’s not the hardest coffee order, but yes I still remember. There’s muffins and donuts in there, I wasn’t sure-” He scratches the back of his neck, growing uncomfortable, “I wasn’t sure what Jackson liked.” 
“He’s a fan of both. He pretty much will eat anything,” You turn and head for the porch, “Everyone is still asleep, let me put this inside and we can go to the dock.” 
Rafe nods and takes the time to check out what all you two have done with the place. It was different than when he was here last, new dock and boathouse, the landscaping had been cleaned up and the house actually looked livable. Jackson’s toys were strewed around the grass. 
“ready?” You ask, heading down toward the dock, Rafe following. You two take a seat on the bench at the end of the dock. 
“So, now that Jackson is older, people are starting to notice how much he looks just like you. You can’t keep up with whatever lie you’ve been spreading. Are you here to try and make me come up with an excuse for where his father is? So, you can go about your life?” You ask, bitterly. 
“No, that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to step up and apologize. And explain my immature behavior.” He stands back up, pacing the dock in front of you. His nerves are getting the best of him. He had this speech all planned out but sitting in front of you, he’s forgot what to say. “I wasn’t in the right head space. And I for sure wasn’t ready to be a father. You saw what I was like. I was drinking, partying. Hell, I was even doing coke at that point.” 
You sit quietly, sipping your coffee as you listen to him. It wasn’t anything you didn't know, to tell you the truth. You also were doing all those things at the time, minus the coke, but as soon as you found out you were pregnant, you’d stepped up and knew all of that had to come to an end. You were going to be a mother. 
“I was doing the same things, Rafe. I don’t see that being an excuse. I stepped up when I needed to because I had too. It was something you needed to do as well, but you weren’t ready to give up that life yet. You weren’t ready to give up your lifestyle to become a father.” 
“I know. and that’s the truth, I didn’t want to give up my partying lifestyle for a kid. I was also scared what people would think of me, getting a girl from the cut pregnant. No one even knew we were dating-” 
“So you were ashamed of me? You’re really not doing yourself any favors right now-” You scoffed, standing, “I get it, Rafe. It would have been the worst thing for a kook to get a pogue pregnant. People would have judged you and never looked at you the same-” You turn to head back toward the house. “I’m so tired of this kook vs pogue bullshit.” 
“Baby-” He gently grabs your arm to stop you, letting the pet name slip, “I mean y/n- That’s not what I was trying to say. Fuck, this is not how I wanted this to go. Please, I’m trying to apologize. I was an immature kid back then and I’m here now to apologize, make things right and take responsibility.” 
“Rafe,” you sigh, “we’re doing fine right now. Without having you in our lives. We’ve made it work. It’s been 3 years, just let it go. I’ll keep on with the lie, you can continue to live your life how you want. Get married, have other kids. Whatever you want to do.” 
“I don’t want to do that, y/n. That’s what I’m here for. I want to be apart of Jackson’s life. A part of your life.” His hand has slipped down from your arm to your hand, his thumb subconsciously caressing your skin. “Please give me another chance. I’ve changed. I promise I’m not the man I was before. My dad has made me a manager at his company. I have a steady job, a house of my own. I’m not the immature teenager I was before.” His eyes are pleading for another chance to do the right thing.
You don’t know how to describe it as you stare into Rafe’s eyes, that they look the same as they did when you fell in love with him, but have a different softness to them. He’s genuine. But you don’t know if you can trust him. He broke you and you weren’t ready to open those doors again. You weren’t ready to open yourself back to him. You had Jackson to think about now and had to take his feeling into account. Could you trust Rafe? 
“What about Sofia? What does she think of all this?” You remove your hand from his, crossing your arms over your chest. “She seems like a great girl.” 
“If I’m honest with you, I haven’t talked to her about it. Me and her aren’t serious.” 
“Maybe you should go home and talk things over with her. I can’t make a decision now. I need time to think it over.” 
His shoulders sag in defeat, but he ultimately nods, “Take all the time you need.. I’ll be here waiting.” 
Rafe left your house and immediately went to Tannyhill, hoping he could catch his dad before leaving for his meeting at 11. “Morning Rose,” He greets as he enters the kitchen, Rose is drinking coffee at the island, Wheezie next to her. He kisses Wheezie on the head, “Wheezie,” 
“Morning,” They say in unison. 
“Is Dad still here?” 
“In his office,” Rose nods, “He had a couple things to finish before the meeting.” 
“Thanks,” Rafe heads toward his office, knocking, “Dad?” 
“Come in,” Ward calls out, “Morning Rafe, you ready for the big meeting this morning?” 
“Ready. But I was hoping to talk to you about something.” He takes a seat across from Ward’s desk. Ward can tell there is something on his son’s mind and closes his laptop to give his full attention. 
“What’s going on?” 
Rafe takes a deep breath, clasping his hands together to stop them from shaking, “You know y/n Maybank?” 
“Yes-” Ward says, leaning forward a little, “What about her?” 
“Me and her dated a few years ago.”
“Mmhmm.” ward nods, “What about it?” 
Rafe takes another deep shaky breath. Ward begins to think about it, remembering she had a son. Who was about 3- 
“The boy- Jackson. He’s yours?” Ward asks in disbelief. 
Rafe gives a short nod, “I fucked up.” 
Ward slowly sits back in his chair, taking it all in. Old Ward would have blown up, told Rafe how stupid could he have been. “How long have you known?” He asks. 
“Since she told me she was pregnant.” He can’t help but get teary eyed, still on edge as he waits for his dad to blow up on him. “I told you I fucked up.” 
Ward mulls over this new and shocking information. “Why wouldn’t you say anything?” Ward asks. 
“I was terrified. Immature. I didn’t want to be a dad. I was partying all the time and wasn’t ready to give it up and be a dad.” He tells him honestly, “It was a shitty decision and I regret it.” 
“You should have took responsibility son.” He sighs, “But I know you weren’t in the right head space.” He stands and rounds his large desk, taking the seat next to his son, “Rehab changed you for the better.” 
Rafe nods, “I’m trying to fix things. I want to be in his life. I went to her this morning and we talked. She’s hesitant to give me a chance.” 
“She has every right to be hesitant.” Ward defends, you, “That’s her son.” 
“He’s mine too,” Rafe says, but sighs, “But you’re right. It is her son. I’ve given her no reason to trust me.” 
Ward nods, “Time will give her that. You’ve done the hardest part. Admitted you were wrong and apologized.” He squeezes Rafe’s shoulder, “It’s time for you to take responsibility.” 
Rafe nods in response, “I’m sorry dad. I should have told you the truth.” 
Ward agrees. He gives Rafe a small smile, “So I have a grandson, huh?” 
Rafe was in agony. It had been a week since he talked to you. You hadn’t tried reaching out yet and he was starting to get worried that you weren’t going to give him a second chance. He’d called it quits with Sofia, who didn’t take it easily, but she admitted she knew she’d seen a change in him after the beach day. And had admitted she’d wondered about Jackson. She saw the resemblance and the way Rafe had looked at you. He was still in love with you. 
You’d told the Pogues that morning over breakfast, JJ had flipped. 
“Like hell he deserves another chance!” 
“JJ, you don’t get to make the decision, I do.” 
JJ had left with a slam of the front door. He come back a couple hours later, calm and agreed. It wasn’t his place, but he still didn’t trust him. He didn’t want to see you hurt again. 
JJ had left with a slam of the front door. He come back a couple hours later, calm and agreed that it wasn’t his place, but he still didn’t trust him. He didn’t want to see you hurt again. 
~
Your heart is pounding against your chest as you take the stairs up to Rafe’s front door. You looked around the outside of the house. It was a nice, expensive house on the water. Two story on stilts as most houses near water are built. 
His truck was parked under the house so you knew he was home. 
You took a deep breath and knocked on the door. 
Rafe was surprised to see you at his front door. It had been a week and he was beginning to wonder if you were even gonna make a decision. The longer it took the more he felt he wasn’t going to get his second chance. 
“Hey,” 
“Hey,” you point inside, “can I come in so we can talk?” 
“Yeah yeah of course.” He opens the door wider for you to enter, closing it behind you. 
The place was clean and sleek. It looked like a bachelor pad. 
“You want anything to drink? I’ve got water, juice, a beer..” he chuckles softly, motioning to the kitchen. 
You follow him into the kitchen, “Water is fine,” You lay your purse in the chair at the island. “I’m gonna be honest, I’m nervous.”
He fixes you a glass of water and you take a chance to look around the room. 
“no need to be nervous,”
You see in the corner of the living room there’s a small kids battery powered jeep and a couple other shopping bags around it. 
He sees you have noticed the stuff and slides the water to you, “my dad.. he uh he bought it for Jackson and Rose picked up a few things for him too.” 
“Thats’s very sweet of them. But wait, you told your dad?” You’re surprised and look to him, “I thought you hated him.. you guys didn’t have a great relationship.” 
“We patched things up after I got back from rehab.” 
“Rehab?” You ask shocked, “I didn’t know, when did you go to rehab?” 
He clears his throat, “few months after we broke up. Or I broke things off. Ward found me half dead on some laced coke I bought and when I woke up he made me go to rehab. Best decision I could have made.” 
“That’s awesome, Rafe. Im happy for you. I know having a better relationship with your dad was what you always talked about wanting.” You give him a soft smile. 
“Yeah yeah it’s good now.” He heads toward the back deck overlooking the water and you follow taking in the view but Rafe, he’s watching you, taking you in. 
You catch him watching you and can’t help but blush, “why are you looking at me like that?” 
Now he blushes, embarrassed he’d been caught, “sorry, we can sit here to talk.” He takes a seat on the couch and you take a seat on the other side. 
You take a deep breath, “I’ve done a lot of thinking over this.” 
He nods, hands clasped together he places his elbows on his thighs leaning closer, “yeah?” 
You look at him, “We’ll start out easy and slow. He’s not to know you’re his dad yet. I want him to be comfortable with you. He doesn’t truly understand the whole dad thing either, so I don’t want to confuse him. We call all hang out together first and then if I feel comfortable enough maybe you can take him on your own for a couple hours. I don’t trust you yet, Rafe. You broke that trust and I need time. But I believe everyone deserves a second chance. And I want Jackson to grow up with a dad who loves him. Something JJ and I didn’t have growing up.” 
He resists every muscle in his body not to hug you. “I can be that. I will be that.” 
He reaches over and you let him take your hand, “thank you for this.” He gives it a gentle squeeze, “you don’t know how much this chance means to me.”
A couple days later you and Jackson meet Rafe at his house, planning to spend the day there. Rafe had asked you a million questions about Jackson; his likes, dislikes, what toys he liked to play with, what he liked to do. He wanted to know as much as he could so he could be prepared for today. 
“Hey!” Rafe greets at the door, “What’s up little man?” 
Jackson’s shy at first and he peeks out from your shoulder at Rafe, muttering a quiet, “Hi.” 
“He’s a little shy. And he just woke up from a nap.” you follow Rafe inside and he helps to take the bag off your shoulders. 
“It’s all good. I understand.” He nervously wipes his hands on his shorts, “I got his favorite foods. The kitchen is stocked and-” 
“Toys!” Jackson gasps, wiggling out of your arms and immediately taking off toward the pile of toys. The jeep Ward bought him was there and a couple other new toys Rafe picked up.  
“Can I play?” Jackson asks, his eyes lighting up. 
“They’re yours! You can play with them all. After lunch we can take that jeep outside and you can ride around the yard.” Rafe says, taking a seat on the couch to watch him. 
“You didn’t have to get all these...” You sit next to Rafe. 
Rafe shrugs, “I know but he didn’t have anything here. I want him to be comfortable.” He slips off the couch and sits in the floor next to Jackson, helping him open the toys. Rafe teaches him how to play with a couple of them, showing him how they work. 
You couldn’t believe the change in Rafe. It was like a different man sitting in the floor. And the resemblance between the two was uncanny. Both had the same look of concentration on their face and you laughed softly to yourself after snapping a picture. Sarah had asked how it was going, so you sent her the picture. She was happy to know her brother was stepping up and also made a comment about their same look of concentration. 
As you stared at Rafe, a new feeling was starting to take form. A longing for something more and hope that maybe you could get your happy ever after and your dream of a family to become a reality.
Comments, likes, & reblogs are always greatly appreciated! I love to read your thoughts on it. 
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marymary-diva17 · 2 days ago
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The love that with stands time
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There are loves the within the many years that go by in the galaxy, as there is a special spark that connects many lives together. Even when times change and along with everyone else, there was still a bond that keep on going. The love that still keep on going over the years, even after all that happened was still there.
y/n " This is earth" you had arrived at the planet of earth, you had come to see those who you held ver close.
optimus " incoming aircraft state you name"
y/n " hello orion it has been so time hasn't it my dear"
Optimus " y/n"
y/n " yes it good to hear your voice after not being able to speak for a while"
Optimus " y/n my dear why have you come here"
y/n " I have come here for many reason optimus and in time I will tell you and everyone else"
optimus " I understand I will send you where to land and have ratchet bridge you to our base"
y/n " yes my dear" you had soon landed your ship as soon enough a bridge had come, as you soon saw optimus come walking out of the bridge.
optimus " hello y/n"
y/n " hello Optimus"
optimus " we will have ratchet bridge the ship to the base and place it somewhere safe"
y/n " okay" the ship had soon disappeared and you looked at Optimus giving him and smile and he smiled back.
y/n " I'm happy to be here with you and everyone else"
optimus " well we are happy to have you here with us now come, we don't wish to drawn any unwanted attention" you had nodded your head, and soon followed Optimus into the bridge and soon arrived at his base. The autobot were not the only ones you came here to see and else, but that was a matter for another time.
ratchet " well you are 100% alright y/n"
y/n " thank you ratchet it good to see you"
ratchet " I'm happy to see you as well we have all have missed you"
optimus " as much I'm happy you are here but why have you come here, I thought you will be everyone else"
y/n " that was the plan until I came here to help with the cause on here, the council had agreed to it"
optimuus " well it good to have more help here"
ratchet " the rest of the team shall be coming in by now beware of the humans"
y/n " I can't wait to meet them" soon a bright light of bridge had come on as three vehicles had come driving inside.
miko " time to have some fun playing games ... hey there someone new here"
y/n " hello" the three humans kids were looking at you as you waved at them, soon their vehicles had transformers into their bot forms.
Arcee " y/n you are here"
y/n " hey arcee it good to see you my friend"
Jake " hey I'm Jake it nice to have someone new her"
y/n " hello there Jake"
bulkhead " y/n you are really here Miko I will love you to meet a good friend of mines y/n"
miko " wow you look cool and it good to have another female on the team"
y/n " hello miko"
raph " hey I'm raph everyone seem excited to see you"
y/n " hello raph and bumblebee how are you doing"
bumblebee " good I'm so happy you are here"
Optimus “ children this is a y/n a fellow cybertron and a friend of the team, she had come here to help us against the fight against megatron and his cons”
y/n “ hello children I have been told many great things from, optimism and everyone else here” the kids had towards you as they got to know their new guardian.
arcee " you know with you being here it will help us on here"
y/n " I have come here to help arcee but we all know it will not be easy"
Arcee " it going to be hard seeing him for you isn't it"
y/n " yes but I have come to terms with everyone life decisions"
arcee " well now you are here there will be more eyes on the kids, from any cons coming to cause trouble"
y/n " I will make sure none of them come in harm way we have seen, what has war done to our home and our people" you and arcee are watching the kids, playing music and having a good time. War had changed everyone life on Cybertronian and it good to have some, time to relax and not worry about anything at the moment.
optimus " y/n i was wondering if you care to go for a drive with me, so you can learn some of the roads here"
y/n " oh sure I will love to"
optimus " ratchet me and y/n are going for a drive we will be back by later on this evening"
ratchet " okay enjoy your ride the both of you call me if you need a bridge home" Optimus had nodded his head as he look at you and smirked, you had smiled back at home place a hand on his right check, Soon enough the two of you transformers and soon left the base.
miko " they are so cute together and perfect as well"
bulkhead " well that should be as they have been spark mates for many years now"
kids ' what"
ratchet " bulkhead ... what bulkhead meant was that in your human terms optimus and y/n are a married couple"
raph " wow no wondering they get along so well"
Bee " they are best friends as well"
raph " wow so they have a long history together but had been separated due to the war"
arcee " yes there were many reason for why she was not here with us, but now she is here and all will be good"
bulkhead " unless Megatron and the cons come around to ruin that"
Ratchet " all will be good no need to jump to conclusions bulkhead, but I and optimus and have planned just in case this happens" the kids have many questions, but they were going to ask them very much later on. Right now it was good to have you pack with them and back with optimus as well, as the two of you are enjoying a ride and falling in love with the new place that you will call home. It was great to be back with optimus your spark mate and you were hoping this peace will last forever.
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webanglikethat · 19 hours ago
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things ram and devi have done and said without even saying they’re in love / being in a relationship because they drive me insane:
Ram defied orders from the LITERAL goddess because he didn’t want Devi to die, thus ignoring his duties
-> like …. he willingly let another woman DIE in Devi’s place and !!!! this act had been committed five years ago, when the affection between the two had BARELY begun blossoming
-> “Why bother when the goddess herself allows you to decide people’s fate?” had been Devi’s question to him, but little did she know, he already defied every rule for her, going against literal fate
he saved Devi during the arson, putting her before his own BROTHER
he went after Devi when she took off on an horse during the attack, and carried her in his arms back to safety (which he realllyy didn’t have to do 🤭)
it’s revealed he would purposefully change his route to catch a glimpse of Devi
-> Ram’s wishful desire was to see her at every service; just hoping to catch her smile along the hallowed halls where once they met
he “noticed an unfamiliar feeling rising inside him” when he met her again
Ram always found an excuse to touch Deviya — holding her hand to lead her somewhere, brushing his fingers over her cheek to calm her, cupping her face, putting a hand on her waist, trapping her against the wall, his finger on her lips, holding her hands tighter as if it could heal her holding her waist as she straddled him
he said he “missed her smiling at him”
he kissed her neck (quite literally marking her) while thinking of how De Clare would react, not realizing the jealousy that was growing in his heart at the thought of losing her to him
-> which he then said (in season 2) he’d do it on her wedding day too !!
-> in the same episode he tried to pretend he doesn’t care about their engagement 💀, mission failed my dude 🤭
“That. The way he felt when she was near him. The reason he always looked for her in the crowd and couldn’t stop teasing her”
ram always thought of marriage as a transaction, a duty to be fulfilled, something he simply had to do. and love? love wasn’t a necessary equation. that’s what his family line looked like — alliances, partnership, all devoid of tenderness. but Deviya awakened something in Ram — and for the first time, he was confused and lost
“It’s ironic that even with all the knowledge and wisdom of the world at my disposal, I still can’t figure this out on my own. I’m almost thirty, and for all of my life I have denied myself what I wanted because the greater good was more important. And in all this time… no one has ever been able to enchant me as much as…”
Ram talked Devi through her anger at the reception so she wouldn’t make a mistake in front of her guests and lose the position she had so long worked for (he helps her see the bigger picture)
Ram told her their connection wasn’t for nothing. they were fated for a reason
the less often he saw her, the more he wanted to see her
-> and if she didn’t came, he would wait for her
he noticed everything she did — be it the way she shifted from foot to foot when she was nervous or how she looked at him in fear (from the subtlest of things to the most obvious, he noticed it always)
he teased her about how much she liked him but then said:
“such a rakhasi cannot possibly die. I need her”
admitting, even if it was meant as a tease, that he could no longer exist in a world in which her presence didn’t fill his heart’s pages
he comforted her on the day of her death, quickly realizing that:
“/ wish this had happened to me instead... hasn't she been dealt enough pain already, in her life?”
“when Ram realized how sincere his desire to take all Deviya's troubles for himself was, it quickly became clear that their secret relationship had taken on a new meaning … growing into something profound”.
what started as a perhaps meaningless, fleeting, teasing affair quickly turned into something more — something he couldn’t put a name to, but he could feel encompassing his body every single second
he could no longer pretend it was just for fun or a distraction
so he finally mustered up the courage to ask Devi to be with him (but not officially 😔) even if it was in secret — for he would rather have her in secret, than lose her be it to death or another man. 
noticing how distressed she was, he closed his eyes and then slowly began kissing her fingers. Devi noticed that his eyelashes were trembling. “he’s nervous as well, but once again he tries to reassure me first, even though he could use some support himself."
he always put her before himself, over and over again. this isn’t something he was taught, like I mentioned before. for him, marriage or love was based on children, mutual respect and the husband’s views. yet he interminably put himself in the background, just to help Devi shine
“they kissed each other gently and yet desperately at the same time, as only doomed lovers can kiss.”
“he was with her right at that moment. sharing her pain and fear... would that have been possible if what they had was fleeting? he always chose her, no matter what.”
Ram: “I'll be with you. no matter what.” Devi: “I know”
he fought for her, allowing her to escape
and her thoughts led to him, even as she bled out
“the very thought of losing him was unbearable. and just as things were beginning to blossom between them.” “dying would be a little easier if you were holding my hand right now”
"I'm with him in my thoughts, heart, and soul." // "even if it doesn't make any real sense, it does for me. l feel calmer this way."
being away from her, when she was in a coma, made Ram feel like he was dying too // the thought of losing him (as she actively died) felt even worse than death
-> his biggest dream was being able to touch her again, to gaze into her eyes, to see his affection being mirrored in hers. to hear her laughter again was all he could hope for
they risked MULTIPLE times to be caught just to bask in each other’s presence — even if it was only for a few moments because the risk was worth it — they are worth it to each other
his face “instantly lost colour” when she mentioned her wedding
he tried pretending it didn’t hurt him — that he could accept it, that he could have a part of her and let it be enough, but they both knew the truth
so she laid out her future: her married to De Clare, visiting India from time to time, meeting Ram’s wife — but not him because he would still remain a coward who couldn’t voice what he wanted
so he finally let his feelings free and kissed her, marking her neck (in the middle of the hall where everyone could’ve caught them)
he touched her under the table — at dinner, where again, anyone could’ve seen them !!!
the moment Devi’s smile faded, Ram noticed immediately and shifted his tone, asking softly, “is something wrong?” -> he is SO attuned to her emotions, so skilled at noticing even the slightest change — which is especially important since Ram isn’t portrayed as someone who does this for just anyone
they know each other well enough to play off each other’s words without malice — their banter is so much fun (especially on passion route)
he fingers her in the library 🤭 he’s SO careful with her even though it’s obvious they’re both overwhelmed by the connection — he’s letting her set the pace and the fact that Ram doesn't push, but instead allows her to slowly move at her own pace, amplifies her vulnerability and makes her every move feel more significant. she’s still confused on what she wants and he lets her explore it on her own, and she knows he will wait for her
he wanted to dance with her despite not knowing how to — and in front of everyone too !! he was ready to embarrass himself for her
-> he is so caught up in her that he’s willing to push past his own comfort zone, even if it means embarrassing himself a little; as long as he can witness her smile
now she is the one who takes the power and kisses him, marking HIS neck — and so they imagine each other naked, finally taking the next step and ….
he finally admits it to himself.
He wanted to finally understand what it meant to connect with the woman he loved with all his heart.
Ram Doobay is in love with Deviya Sharma.
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icewindandboringhorror · 27 days ago
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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adore-gregor · 4 days ago
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Lol I keep on doing this, saying I'd come back to tumblr to only disappear again 😂😭
#and i hate it bc i miss being on here#but also i don't have to force myself or feel guilty for it#bc if i'm fr being on social media is just so time consuming and also not what is good for my mental health often#and that includes tumblr#it's not even that it's a toxic place (at least not the content i'm consuming) but sometimes i just rather spend my time with people irl#meeting someone than on social media and like focus on my life#the last month or so was just really difficult for me and i haven't been feeling so bad mentally in forever#i mean it always is like that that time of the year but i feel like i was worse this year#whenever autumn comes around with the darkness and cold i seem to hit a low mentally#when i tell you how much better my mood is in summer spring how much better i feel everyday regardless of everything else#i get people like autumn but for me its literally the worst and winter too altough at some point it gets better#maybe i adapt and maybe because i spend more time outside around christmas when i go home that's usually a turning point#and ig also the lights of december make it a bit better#but mid october to november is awful#this year the weather was much worse beginning of october was much worse#i feel like i lowkey have this seasonal mood disorder idk#but i barely managed to go to classes and i had no motivation#usually i always make myself study and do the things i have to atleast altough i often terribly procrastinate#but now i was barely able to do this and i had things to do but i couldn't make myself i missed a deadline closely#luckily my professors are the best but i felt so horrible for it how i was unable to get it done#sunlight is just so good for my mood and ik how doctors say how you should avoid it because you can get skincancer#but like i'd rather than my mental health being this bad (not that i want either)#i already miss summer so much and being happier#but tbh i haven't felt this good as I do today in weeks and even this whole week was better#i exercised more than usual altough i tried to in the last weeks i couldn't as often as i normally do so maybe this actually helps a lot#and i studied yesterday today and i will tomorrow i finally feel motivation again#besides i also tried to break up with my bf so that was also tough but i couldn't lol#i tried talking to him and tell him in the nicest way but he didn't get what i was trying to do and i couldn't say more bc i felt horrible#but maybe that's for the better altough i had these thoughts for a while that he just isn't the one for me and that we're too different...#i do really like him as a person the way he treats me and i'm still into him but i just felt like it wouldn't work
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waterflowing-under-ground · 2 months ago
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youtube
Tell your good friends
You love them all doubtlessly
Wordless and senseless without reservation
Now's the time
Now's the time
Now's the time
Now's the time
Tell your good friends you love them without complaint
This road stretched for miles, straddled the countryside
Licking the hills with autumn decay
A fire that burned the bright gold covered forest down
This is the end of all that you thought was good
This is the end of reckless young energy
Breathless suspense and restless potential
This is the end
This is the end
This is the end...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This song from an obscure indie band from the mid-2000's I saw live once, opening for Andrew Bird when he was still just breaking into the scene and played small venues came to mind as I've been sitting with and processing grief that's aged 15 years, and reflecting on my most significant friendship of a quarter century, all because I decided to re-read Andrzej Sapkowski's The Witcher saga. It hit me hard then, but it's hitting differently now as a 40-something.
When I was 26 (I'm 41 now), I lost a close friend who was 27 years old at the time. I was very involved in post-death events after he died (suddenly, expectedly, and unfortunately, violently).
I helped his mom (who is also sadly no longer with us either as of a few years ago) clean his belongings out of his apartment which was one of the most surreal and disconcerting experience of my life.
She gave me the textbook from an undergrad class he and I happened to attend together years prior (we had known each other outside of the community college we took that class at, but being in that class together was the catalyst for becoming as close as we did) and all of his comic books.
I was asked to contribute to the eulogy for his celebration of life. I spent so much time with his family. I had vivid dreams about him nearly every night. And I didn't cry, not really, for several weeks. I was in shock. He was 27. It was not real. We'd had plans to hang out the Friday before he died (which happened on that following Monday) and I cancelled because I was tired. But the last time I heard his voice, it was a cheerful little chat on the phone. I remember he said, "awesome sauce, let's try again when you're feeling better." And it was not real.
Well, it wasn't real yet. Until it was. And it hit me all at once one random afternoon when I was sitting alone in my living room. It was quiet. And it was suddenly real.
The immediate post-death events were done and there weren't any more planned. And it hit me suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, that he was really gone forever, that I'd never see him or speak to him ever again, that this wasn't just a nightmare that I was having that I would wake up from any moment now. My dear, sweet, lovely, funny, intelligent, loyal affectionate, outspoken, wildly eccentric friend was gone. Forever.
That's when I heard a voice come out of my body I'd never heard before, something that sounded like it wasn't even coming from me or even a human being. I was screaming until my throat went raw, and then I was sobbing. I've never screamed like that since.
And I was alone. Just me and my grief finally catching up to me, weeks after my friend had gone. Me and the debt, the price I had to pay for loving someone, for the precious 8 years of friendship we had shared. Because I think of grief as the debt we pay for being able to love.
So tell your friends how much you care about them, how much you love them. It's not too mushy to do that. It's not too sentimental or cloying or whatever negative label someone wants to slap on being affectionate and demonstrative and vocal about your love for someone. It's important. I like to hope I did a decent job of showing him while he was alive, I hope he knew, but I always wish I'd done more, said more.
With the other friend in my life who I consider equally close to my heart, my BFF of 25 years, I recently decided to tell her I love her using those exact words and telling her how important she is to me. In this post about the Witcher (in particular the Geralt and Dandelion friendship), I mentioned that my friend tends usually not to be the touchy-feely type (but that it doesn't make her any less loving or caring or supportive because she is all those things to be clear). If you read that post it'll hopefully make sense why I brought that up.
But in any case, I saw her recently and decided to tell her some things. Because, to be honest, my Witcher re-read (because the Witcher has much to say about grief and loss along with myriad other aspects of the human experience and human conceits) got me thinking about my late friend who I lost over 15 years ago, and my best friend now, who I cherish and love with every part of me, who has seen me through so much, has seen the ugly bits of me as well when I was at my lowest, and who still loves and supports me, enjoys me because she loves me for who I am, considers me enough (as I am, in my unfiltered form in all my autistic and mentally ill glory), and chooses me after all this time. Because I am enough. And for me, she is enough, I love every part of her, I've seen her through low times and when she wasn't well, and I still chose her because she's my friend, my person, and I wouldn't change a single thing about her. We have both made mistakes and hurt each other's feelings in the past at times (not on purpose but still owned it), but real repair was done in those cases, and it made our bond stronger. And that's real, and as I'm learning as I get older, RARE.
I decided that it was the right time to tell her I love her, actually saying the words, and I was nervous she'd be embarrassed, but to my elated surprise, she was touched, told me she loves me too, and we had a sweet and heartfelt conversation about our history, our love and affection for each other, and our amazing friendship that we're so lucky to still have after a quarter of a century, a deep abiding trust in each other, and how we hope to be old and cantankerous together. She is just as important to me as my live-in partner, and I wanted her to know that. I'm so glad I told her because she clearly appreciated hearing it. And I'm relieved and feel peace after telling her, and after hearing her say the same things to me.
Anyway, people, please tell those important people in your life how much you love and care about them, because they need to know, they need to hear it, and it's important. Because nothing is permanent. Losing someone you love will never be easy, even if you do tell them you love them, but it's still important to do so.
"When he heard the death rattle, Gilgamesh moaned like a dove. His face grew dark. 'Beloved, wait, don't leave me. Dearest of men, don't die, don't let them take you from me.'"
- The Epic of Gilgamesh
"Who are you? You are no one that I know. I am Gilgamesh, who killed Humbaba And the Bull of Heaven with my friend. If you are Gilgamesh and did those things, why Are you so emaciated and your face half-crazed? I have grieved! Is it so impossible To believe? he pleaded. My friend who went through everything with me is dead! No one grieves that much, she said. Your friend is gone. Forget him. No one remembers him. He is dead. Enkidu. Enkidu. Gilgamesh called out: Help me. They do not know you as I know you."
- The Epic of Gilgamesh
"Gilgamesh wept bitterly for his friend. He felt himself now singled out for loss Apart from everyone else. The word Enkidu Roamed through every thought Like a hungry animal through empty lairs In search of food. The only nourishment He knew was grief, endless in its hidden source Yet never ending hunger." Herbert Mason, Gilgamesh: A Verse Narrative
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agueforts · 8 months ago
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hey did you know being disabled affects your ability to do things. fucked up if true
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wolfisland · 6 months ago
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dont get me wrong. i am absolutely a problem, often. im very cutting and blunt a lot of the time. people tend to find it funny til they realise i am deadly fucking serious. i definitely have anger issues. im a "i forgive you but i wont forget this" type. but i dont think im unkind, genuinely. i think it was just jarring for a lot of shitty people in my life when i stopped letting them treat me like shit. which makes sense, i just disrupted the fuckhead routine of like 6 white autistics. woe are they. but really honest god gun to my head i cant bring myself to feel bad about it. half of those friendships made me feel like shit about myself anyways.
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rosicheeks · 11 months ago
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#I JUST WANT MY OWN PLACE AND A FUR BABY#really really want a dog but I feel like a cat is more realistic for an apartment especially#anyway#just wondering#could rent ya know#go down a little bit please?#I’m so sick of studios being $1500+ and then they don’t even fucking include utilities half of the time#so who wants to get a place together?#I feel like life would be a whole lot easier if I had friends so I could just find a place with them but nooooooooooooooooooooo#tempted to look into loans but I have no clue how they work or where to even start#doubt I’d even get anything tbh#no credit cause my dad always told me credit cards are evil and like bro I get it but I also kinda need them so I can build credit?????????#idk idk idk I’m just grumpy#I’m sick of the life I’m living#I miss being able to chill and relax and do my hobbies…. don’t remember the last time I painted…. maybe a year now?#hopefully I’ll find a full time job that pays incredibly well and I’ll be able to get my own place and start living my life again#but until then I’m just kinda stuck#I feel trapped#I feel like I have no path and I’m just sitting in darkness#I’m sorry to anyone who has messaged or snapped me or reached out in any way - I’m struggling a lot right now#happy holidays and happy new year to anyone who sent me something as always I love you all and I appreciate all the support#I just feel numb and I don’t feel like rosie right now#been very very sex repulsed so that might be way I’ve been taking a break from here#like I want touch and I want love but the thought of sex or anything like that makes me want to throw up? idk it’s super weird#gotta get up in the morning and go to my nieces bday party - she’s turning 2! so you know what that means?#a whole bunch of other little screaming tots 🙃🙃🙃🙃 and a bunch of people I don’t know#wohoooooooooooo#gonna delete in a hot minute#so enjoy a Rosie post since I have been away for awhile#shut up rosie
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g1-skywarp · 1 year ago
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Ahaga fuck the college shit is getting wirse
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evilcatgirlwizard · 1 year ago
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feeling bad 👍
#aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuvgggggghhhhhhh#just cried for like 10 minutes because i cant recapture a time of my life i loved so much#im in a better place generally now but i miss that community i miss it so bad#i would literally live in that squalor again to get that friend group back#i miss hke so bad dude. i miss it. my heart fucking aches man.#i dunno i guess im chasing a fucking pipe dream but i just want them back. i want the constant activity#i want the silly in jokes. the dedication to each others characters. the fabulous world building#i miss being able to go to sleep and have ten notifications when i wake up#because everyone is always there and loud and i love ghem#i still do. god i still do. i love them all so so much#but we're all distant now. i can message them sure but they arent here with me#i wish they were with me#but ships pass in the night i guess#wish they wouldnt. wish i could keep them with me#i need silksong to drop cuz maybe then theyll come back#maybe i'll have hke back. at max volume again. maybe..#a bitch can only hope#i just miss... friends.#like a solid friend group#i havent had one in a while. ive always had at least one real solid friend group for ages#but hke was my most recent and that one didnt explode so i disnt scrabble to find another#so now that its slipping out of my grasp im just too busy trying to pull it back that i cant find anyone else#and besides#im 21#who would even wanna deal with a depressed disabled 21 year old butch bitch in this day and age#i just want what i had as a depressed teenager on the internet. friends who i assumed i would die with#but ships pass. i guess.#i dunno. maybe im just overreacting. maybe im just lonely#which i am#but
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why didn't they just use franziska for literally all of this.
#freya talks aai2#my goals of not being a forgotten/forsaken hater are not going well. he goes from 'kay is a dear ACQUAINTANCE' to 'i've not known her for#very long but i know she'd never kill anyone' to 'you are the kay i know so well' in the span of a few hours and it's like.#okay so you know it was too early in their acquaintanceship for this to really make sense but you still wanted a 'deep' and 'meaningful'#relationship to take the lead in this plotline. his sister is literally right there. it wouldnt have been hard to swap her in either because#she's literally investigating the smuggling situation. it would make perfect sense for her to be there following a lead instead of suddenly#revealing kay's promise notebook went missing. im not saying that the super-gentle super-meek persona would have made more sense with#franziska but honestly it wouldnt have made sense with any of them because it's more a caricature of a character rather than being an actual#previously unseen facet of one but you could've done so many more interesting things with franziska! she has an actual personal stake in#edgeworth's decision to continue as a prosecutor or not and we could get actual insight into how her own relationship with prosecuting and#its inextricable link to her father has affected her as a person. like when you show amnesiac kay the prosector badge all she says is that#it feels heroic warm and familiar like someone she knew used to show it to her often. and like cool. it's basically telling us she and her#father were close. which we already knew. imagine if franziska had said something like that or had had a more complex reaction. there would#be so many avenues to go with that!! you'd even be able to delve deeper into what edgeworth thinks about it all. like what if franziska was#just. happier. without her memories. then you'd have a story where edgeworth has to reckon with whether it might be kinder to let her live a#different life where she's unburdened by literally everything she's been made to go through and give her the same opportunity of starting#over that he now has.#im just writing fanfiction at this point but like. the amnesia plot is so frustrating to me HAHA they dont even do anything interesting with#it!! it's just oh she's lost her memories and we need to get them back because she's not 'herself' anymore without any discussion of like.#the nature of identity or living as who other people know you as vs whoever you might actually be#WHEN THE WHOLE CASE IS ABOUT EDGEWORTH DECIDING ON HIS PATH FORWARDS AND GRAPPLING WITH BEING THE PROSECUTOR EVERYONE HAS KNOWN HIM AS#whatever. WHATEVER.#annotations#some people might argue so it's not rehashing old conflict between franziska and edgeworth and like ok. she literally repeats her 'are you#running away from me again' line during this case. does that sound like the words of resolved conflict?#i know WHY they use kay. it's because they need to justify her place in this game and because they want to play on the pseudo father-figure#thing they played up in aai2 to contribute to the overall themes of fatherhood this game is dealing with. and to that i have to say that i#might just not be the audience for it because i've never bought that version of their relationship and i dont think kay should be in aai2#anyway. plus i posit that franziska would've still worked for that theme because. literally everything. about her.
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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I guess I should start looking into apartments for next year. I don't know where I'm going to be working after I graduate yet, but I'll have a car by then, so it shouldn't matter too much. And I'm hesitant to move when I don't know where I'm going to end up... but I will be honest, I cannot live in this place for another year. They've increased the rent by a literal 50% since I started living here 3 years ago, the air conditioning doesn't work, I have to do laundry by *coin operation*, and worst of all there is no patio or balcony to speak of. I need outdoor seating!!! For my mental health!!!! Adding in the fact that it's far too cramped with all the furniture I got from my dad...
Yeah. Even if I only live there for a year, I Got to move.
Gonna be working on sorting through all the shit in my apartment, especially the boxes from my dad. Once I get a car, I wanna make it my personal project in the next year to cut down on the shit that I own. Go through my old clothes and donate anything that I Never wear and Never would. The goal being that by the time I do move, I want there to not be a fucking boatload of shit to move. There's still all this furniture but like. Eh. Ya kno. Still wanna make it better than it could be.
#speculation nation#dont have my dad to help me move anymore. which means im gonna have to figure out how to take this bed frame apart.#ive never done it before. it was always him doing it. but im fairly smart. it's probably pretty intuitive.#just. kinda sucks. and i'll have to keep track of what screws go where and whatever for putting it back together.#i think i wanna get a 2 bedroom apartment. even if it's just me. so i can have a room i can shut off from the cats#primarily for plants lol. and maybe some other shit. stuff i dont want the cats to access.#i wonder if it'd be too early to start looking for an apartment for like... june of next year.#the earlier the better if i wanna secure something nice. but also idk if theyd even have things listed for a year from now.#wouldnt hurt to look at least. put some feelers out. see what's available out there.#i'll kind of miss this place. my first apartment ive lived in on my own. and the last place that both sammy and cassy lived.#i will be honest. kind of a shithole. but it's mine yk?#but ive outgrown it. and also i could Really do without all the bugs from having a partial basement unit hfksbfmd#might look online later today. just to see.#housing around here is in pretty high demand bc of the college so if i can secure smth early. that's probably the best for me.#give me more choices. etc etc. ya kno.#important for me to think about this now anyways bc my rental company is gonna b pestering me in like a month or two to decide if ill renew#give me a reduced offer for rent from what theyd be increasing it to. which. lmfao. 50% increase is 'reduced' from what it could be.#i... really am so lucky that my dad had his life insurance policy set up like he did.#having money to fall back on makes all of this a lot less scary. up to and including being able to hire ppl to help me move#if. it comes to that. my family would still in general be willing to help probably. but man we're all getting older.#and i know i got too much shit. so. if it came down to it. yeah i could hire moving helpers. if i needed to.#and it makes me feel more secure in moving despite not having a job lined up yet#bc i still have Plenty of money. unless the next apartment is like horrifically expensive i could last several years with what i got.#so. yeah. looking into moving next year. big things. it's the time to think about it though.
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bananayuyu · 2 months ago
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Lust is in the Air
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Pairing: Hongjoong x f reader
Genre: smut
Word count: 6.4k
Summary: Your best friend drags you along to a family wedding, wanting to add some fun to your all too serious life. Turns out her uncle is the one who really provides the distraction.
Warnings: smut, MDNI, age gap (Hongjoong is 40 reader is 23), some talk during sex about the age gap so really don't read this if you don't like that, some dom/sub dynamics, throat fucking, degradation and praise, bratty y/n, use of pet names (baby, doll), ass eating, anal, unprotected sex
A/n: Sometimes I see a random video of him and I'm reminded all over again how hot I think a very mature Hongjoong would be. Especially if he was mocking me and making me feel pathetic. Yeah this was pure horny, quite filthy for me. This isn't as proofread as my normal stuff so apologies for any mistakes
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Well, maybe it was a good idea. You had been staying in every weekend since the breakup, and maybe being forced out of the house would be good for you. Force you to interact with a few people, to actually put some effort into your appearance. Maybe put on a little makeup, or actually brush your hair.
"Please don't say no," Beatrice says through the phone. "My family would love it if you came, and I'd love it if you came. And we haven't had a chance to spend a weekend like this in forever. There will be free food and free booze!"
"I know you're worried about me, Bea," you respond, sighing.
"I'm not inviting you out of pity," she says.
"I know, I know. Just, give me some time to think it over. I've got an assignment I need to finish for one of my classes, I think it's due this Sunday night. So if I can't finish it this week I'll need to do it this weekend," you reply.
"Okay, just text me. I'm not gonna invite anyone else as my plus one, if you don't end up coming. So no rush, take your time," she says.
"Thank you. You know I appreciate you so much," you say, sighing into the cushion of your couch.
"You know I feel the same," she says, sighing too. You'd both been through breakups recently. It seemed like your hardships always occurred on nearly the same timeline, making you both able to rely on each other for understanding. And she knew getting you out of the house, especially for a weekend wedding, would be good for you. Her cousin's family was rich and hadn't held back in their planning, booking the fanciest hotel in town for everyone. They were paying for everything; the food and drinks of course, and everyone's hotel expenses. You'd knew you'd go. You'd try to finish the assignment beforehand. But even if you didn't, you'd still go.
Driving up to the front of the hotel together felt surreal. Beatrice had asked to take your car, as it wasn't the bright purple color that her's was. This place was fancy, and though neither of your cars were deluxe, at least your's was black.
"Miss McArthur?" the valet asked once you rolled your window down.
"Yeah, that's me," Beatrice said from the passenger seat, reaching over you to hand him her ID. "This is my plus one, y/n. She should be on the list."
After a brief look at his clipboard the man gave you both a satisfied nod. "Do you ladies have any bags we can carry up for you?" he asked.
"Yes, in the trunk," Beatrice answered for you, which you were grateful for. You'd never interacted with a valet before, never been in such a fancy situation in your life. You stumbled out of the car a bit awkwardly, your jean shorts and t-shirt looking ridiculous next to the suit and tie of the man in front of you. He held out his hand to you and for a moment you paused, wondering if he was offering to take your hand. But then you realized he was actually offering to take your keys. Duh.
"Thank you," you said quickly, heading around the car to meet Bea as you walked behind the man carrying your bags.
On the sixth floor you entered your shared room, a spacious and beautifully decorated space with a huge window covering the far wall. It was a sliding glass door, that led out to a balcony overlooking the river below. In the afternoon sun the water glittered, but you knew the view at night would be the real show, absolutely magical.
"Everyone is meeting in the restaurant at 7," Bea tells you, glancing at her family's group chat.
"Well then I've got a little over two hours to make myself look at least a little bit nice. Like maybe I actually belong here," you laugh, opening your bag to grab the casual dress you'd packed.
"Oh dinner tonight won't be fancy, wear whatever," Bea replies, kicking off her sandals.
"Okay but, with your cousins family not fancy would still probably be a little fancy, right?" you ask.
"You don't need to worry about fitting in, dude. No one will care," Bea replies.
"I just don't want to look like an idiot," you say, eyeing her.
"Y/n, you really need to stop worrying. This weekend is about us having fun. I'm not even that close with my cousin Amana, to be honest. We'll probably barely interact with her family. But we get to attend this fancy wedding, all expenses paid. Just wear whatever you feel like, do whatever you want to. Just promise me you'll have some fun," she says.
"Okay, fine," you respond, rolling your eyes jokingly. "I guess I'll try to enjoy this super nice luxury hotel for the weekend."
Bea laughs in relief, at hearing you joke around. It was what you both needed more of; you both had serious work and school lives already to contend with. And seriously disappointing dating lives, too.
As seven approaches you both make your way to the elevator, pausing at you exit the door to inspect the slight amount of makeup you'd put on. You hadn't worn any in weeks and it made you feel really pretty, along with the flowly sundress and sandals you'd decided to wear. You weren't always one for such feminine clothing but today it felt right, and you both bounced down the hall, spirits high. Bea led the way through the lobby to a long hallway, past what looked like a bar and some other room that had a bouncer, to the large restaurant at the end. Immediately you saw the long tables lined up, clearly set up for the wedding party. This wasn't the dress rehearsal, just the welcome dinner. It was only Friday, and the wedding wasn't until Sunday. Immediately you spotted the wine and appetizers filling the table, scanning the tables to try to find your seats.
"I can't find us Bea," you laugh, awkwardly walking past family members you'd never met before.
"Y/n, you're at our table," you hear a familiar female voice say, and turn to see Bea's mom.
"Oh, hi! Thank you!" you say as you walk over to her, giving her a quick hug.
"So glad you could join us sweetie," she says, gesturing to your seats. "See, you and Beatrice are near the end there, across from Nathan. Oh and have you met Beatrice's uncle Hongjoong before?" she asks, gesturing down the table.
You look down to see Beatrice sitting, pulling her chair under her and smiling wide. Across from her, in a casual but fitted grey t-shirt, a man smiles back, handing her a glass of wine he's just poured. He is striking, with jet black hair and tattoos, piercings donning his right ear. His jaw is sharp, his teeth perfect when he smiles. He looks maybe 27, 28. He's wearing an expensive watch, or at least a watch that looks expensive to your eyes, and a small simple chain necklace. His hair is cropped short at the sides; he looks so put together, so professional. So mature. So fucking attractive.
"That's Bea's uncle?" you ask her. It's not just his age that makes you ask. It's the fact that he's basically your dream come true. You see the muscles in his arm flex as he pours Nathan a glass too, and it makes your eyes cross for a moment.
"Well technically I think he's a second cousin, once removed, or something like that. He's a part of Wooyoung's family." Wooyoung was her husband, Bea's dad. You'd met her parents, and her brother Nathan, but never anyone else in her extended family. And you struggled to recall ever hearing about a Hongjoong before. You stared at him a moment before he moved his eyes over to you, catching you off guard. His look was mischievous, like he wants to play or mess with you. It made it hard to believe this was someone Bea called 'uncle.'
"Do you want to sit?" Bea's mom asked you.
"Yeah, sorry," you smiled at her, making you way down.
"Y/n! This is my uncle Hongjoong, and Hongjoong, this is y/n," Beatrice says as you pull out your seat next to her.
"Very nice to meet you," he says with an outstretched hand, his handshake strong and confident in a way that makes your body tingle.
"You as well," you reply, with a bashful smile. Immediately Bea asks you a question and you respond on auto-pilot, not even really hearing. Because your head is swimming in water just from being in this man's presence, and you can't focus. You don't even notice the glass of wine he'd poured you until he sets it down by your appetizer plate, gently bumping the stem on the rim of the plate to make a gentle clink. The sound makes your eyes snap up, and for some reason he looks amused.
"Oh, thank you," you say to him, bowing your head slightly. That mischievous smirk is back on his face when you lock eyes again, like he's trying to tell you something, but you can't be sure what it is. You certainly hope he's thinking what you're thinking. God, he's fucking stunning.
Those are the only words you speak to each other for the entirety of dinner. With so many people in attendance the restaurant is loud, louder still as everyone becomes tipsy, and then outright drunk on the unlimited wine.
"Hey, my parents want me a Nathan to go take pictures with them on the golf course nearby. They booked a photo shoot or something," Bea tells you, rolling her eyes slightly. "I'm not sure when we'll be back but feel free to like, go to the hot tub or do whatever around the hotel," she says.
"Okay, sounds good. Thank you, seriously," you say as you hug her. "I hope it's fun."
"Oh, I'm sure it will be," she laughs. "My parents and their family photos," she shakes her head, making you giggle, as she slowly makes her way to meet her brother at the front door of the restaurant.
You take stock of yourself for a moment, making sure you have your phone and your wallet in your purse, making sure your room key is still in your wallet. You take the last swig of your second glass of wine, patting yourself on the back for not overdoing it this first night when basically everyone around you did. You start sipping on your nearly empty glass of water too, knowing you don't want to wake up hungover tomorrow. The table is basically empty, with everyone slowly clearing out or making their last requests at the bar. You decide you'll go explore in a moment, go scope out the pool and hot tub situation, and maybe see if you can figure out what room is behind that bouncer. But just as you start standing up, Hongjoong approaches the table.
"I got some more waters for the table, but it looks like they've all left," he chuckles, his arms full.
"They went to do a family photo, Bea said," you reply, stuck for a moment awkwardly between sitting and standing. Hongjoong nods, like he already knew.
"Oh, were you about to leave too? Don't let me keep you," he says, the glint back in his eye again.
"I was thinking I'd go take a look at the pool and hot tub, maybe explore a bit," you say. It sort of takes you by surprise that you're sharing this with a total stranger, given your usual instinct to not share anything with people you don't know. You easily could have excused yourself, and been exploring the hotel alone. But deep down you know why you're sharing it. You hope he picks up on that reason, too.
"That's a great idea," he says, gently setting the waters down. "Mind if I join you? I was thinking of exploring the hotel some myself."
Bingo. You smile, eyes fluttering at him for a second. You truly don't even mean to do it, but the way he looks at you has you feeling shameless.
"Sure, I wouldn't mind," you reply, stepping out from your chair and gently pushing it into the table.
"Want to take a water with you?" he asks, holding one out.
"I don't think we can just take the glass with us," you reply, narrowing your eyes at him.
"Oh, who cares," he says glancing over his shoulder, seeing all of the wait staff occupied at the bar with everyone's last minute orders. "I'll carry it out, if you're that worried," he says, cocking his head slightly to the side and eyeing you with what must be mock pity.
"Fine," you roll your eyes at him, trying to fight the smile forming on your face from betraying how much his tone and facial expression are affecting you. You turn around and start strolling out of the restaurant, not even waiting for him. Once you're exiting he's already caught up, two water glasses in hand. You turn to your right, heading for the lobby.
"Wrong way, y/n," Hongjoong says lowly from behind you, making you stop in your tracks. "The pool is out those doors at the end of the hall."
"The sign in the lobby says the door to the pool is by the front desk," you reply, looking over your shoulder at him. The hallway is dimly lit, and the shadows on his face make his jaw look even sharper.
"Well that door also leads to the pool," he says, gesturing to the end of the hall. You just stare at him a moment, not sure why you feel the instinct to argue. "You don't believe me?" he asks, chuckling and looking you dead in the eye, before obviously snaking his gaze down the entirety of your body. Now that he's standing you see the fitted black pants and black dress shoes he's wearing, making his outfit look even more professional. His thighs look strong, and his stance is one of confidence, his entire demeanor cool and collected. You want to come up with a witty retort but can't think of anything, so you just start walking the way he's said to, again passing him by without slowing down to meet him. You open the doors gently but don't stop to hold them for him, brattiness taking ahold of you. Maybe it's the fancy hotel, or the wine, but you feel like a princess who deserves whatever she wants. And right now that's to piss Hongjoong off a bit, and see the pool.
"I thought nice girls hold doors open for the elderly," he says once he's exited too, sidling up to you. You stand by the long edge of the pool, taking in the lights below the surface that dance through the water. You turn to him and roll your eyes, taking the water glass he offers you immediately. "So, what do you do?" he asks.
"I'm still in school, I'm in my senior year," you say, turning back to the water. "And I work part time as an administrative assistant in the Dean's office, to help cover some of my tuition."
"College senior," he says, like he's mulling it over. "So that makes you how old?"
"Guess," you say, turning to him again, this time with your whole body.
"22," he replies. His voice low, like he's hesitant to say it.
"Close, 23," you say, not lowering your voice to meet his.
"And how old do you think I am?" he asks you, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Mmm, like, 38?" you joke, squinting your eyes as you look intently at his face. The feeling of wanting to piss him off still hadn't left you.
"How astute," he replies, nodding. "People usually think I'm younger."
"You're actually 38?" you ask, bewildered.
"Actually, 40," Hongjoong replies, making your eyebrows shoot up.
"You're lying," you say, rolling your eyes and shaking your head at him.
"Wow, second time tonight you've thought that. I don't know what I've done to make you think so poorly of me," he replies, that mischievous look again painting his face.
"Oh, shut up," you say, rolling your eyes harder this time, wanting to reach out and playfully punch him. Or maybe not so playfully. He's looking more and more perfect by the second, and his attitude, the way he's just so confident and calm, is making you hot and bothered. You know it maybe it's wrong, but now that you know his real age you find this whole scenario even hotter. If you were honest with yourself you'd always dreamed of fucking an older man, but the few you'd gone on dates with or had the chance to talk to had always been so immature, insecure, and underwhelming. Just like all the other guys you'd dated. It was a massive disappointment to learn that age didn't often give people that self-assured demeanor that you so desired. But clearly it did sometimes; the proof was standing in front of you.
"That wasn't very nice," Hongjoong replies, fixing you with a look of disapproval that makes your thighs clench involuntarily, as the two of you stare each other down merely feet apart. You hold his gaze as long as you can before you look down at your feet, his stoic demeanor feeling like a brick wall you can't break through.
"You're very pretty, y/n," he says, stepping forward to lift your face up to his.
"Really?" you ask him, eyes wide. Playing it just the way he likes.
"I know you know how pretty you are, you've been giving me those eyes all night," he says, looking like he disapproves. "You're a bit of brat, too, aren't you?" he asks, his hand moving to the side of your cheek.
"No comment," you giggle, and he grabs your hand, bringing it to his upper arm. You grab onto his bicep as he moves his hand to your waist pulling you two closer.
"Dance with me," he says, pulling you slightly into his chest.
"There isn't any music playing," you say, laughing. And it's the way that he doesn't just automatically laugh at your little comments that really gets you going.
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you didn't like me very much," he says seriously, pulling you in and starting to rock you back and forth. You dance together for a few minutes, no words being exchanged as your bodies get used to the proximity, as your mind begins to swim again, even more so now that his hands are on you. You want him to kiss you, do anything, now, but he keeps his hands where they are, still leading you around in slow circles. Fuck it, you think. You lift your hands to his face and pull him in, your lips meeting in a perfect kiss, his hand on your waist moving up your back as he holds you to him, leaning you back as he deepens it. You hold steadily onto his bicep for balance, your breathing fast as you stick your tongue in his mouth, not hiding your desperation. You don't care to, not when you've spent two months without this feeling, tortured over the idea that no one at your school would ever consider you an option after your last relationship ended the way it did.
And just when it seems like you're the only desperate one, Hongjoong moves his hands down, running them up your thighs and under your dress to find your panties. He finds none, much to his surprise, which makes his dick harden even further. He gropes your ass, deepening the kiss more, making you arch your back in neediness. And then he snakes his hand around, slowly moving to your core, before suddenly running a finger over your slit, making you gasp. You've forgotten where you are, totally engrossed in the feelings he's giving you. You buck your hips against his hand, moaning pathetically into his mouth, your legs feeling like they might give out on you. He starts circling your entrance, finally pushing one finger in maybe an inch, when you finally remember where you are.
"Wait, fuck, not out here," you say, pulling back from him. He pulls his hand away immediately, his fingers glistening in the lights of the night.
"You don't want everyone to see?" he asks, a smirk on his face.
"Not when the people paying for me to be here could see," you say. Your lips look swollen and wet from the kiss, and it makes him want to grab you again.
"You're the one who kissed me," he says, his voice low. And you know there's more he's implying, that you weren't just the one who kissed him but that you had rocked against his hand, had wanted his touch. That you'd kissed him desperately, making him unable to stop himself. The implication is inappropriate, the accusation he's laid on you not fair in the slightest. He has no way of knowing what you were trying to make him do, or what you wanted to happen. You hadn't said a word. And yet, he's totally right, making it hard for you to respond.
"That's-," you sigh, your pussy still throbbing from your proximity.
"My room is on the 7th floor," he says.
"Okay," you reply. It's all you can say. You stand completely still, stuck to the spot, waiting for him to move. Instead he puts his wet fingers in his mouth, sucking off your slick in one smooth motion, humming in satisfaction. Your mouth gapes at his lewdness, struck now by just how visible you both obviously are.
"Let's go," he says, motioning his head towards the door.
Your legs move automatically, your mind playing over and over the visual of him licking his fingers, the look of utter bliss on his face. As you walk the hallway he comes behind you, putting a hand on the small of your back, making your body melt into him slightly. It feels good but you gently remove his hand, not wanting anyone to see. You pray that neither Bea nor any of her family are in the lobby when you enter, and thankfully, your prayers are answered. Nor does anyone join you two on the elevator, which makes you willing to stand closer to Hongjoong than you would any other stranger. But still, you don't touch him. As you both exit you walk behind him, almost enough space between you that you could believably look like two total strangers, walking to separate rooms. Until he unlocks his door, holding it open as you slip inside, like you're really not supposed to be in here.
As soon as he closes the door he's pulled you to him, his back slamming into the wall as you nearly crash together, the air between you thick with lust.
"I'm almost twice as old as you, y/n," he whispers in your ear, feeling your pussy clench against his thigh that you're straddling, your mouth on his neck. "You like that," he states, not even asking you anymore. "You like that I'm way too old for you. Too old to be touching you like this."
It's wrong, so wrong and you know it, but the further he pushes it the more you're surrendering to what's happening, to what your body truly craves.
"You've never been fucked right by those stupid boys at your college, have you? You need me to fuck you right, to show you how good you can feel. That's why you were bratty with me, you wanted me to be riled up. Want me to fuck you hard, like I'm mad. Like I'm punishing you," he growls, his breathing heavy as you bite down on his neck, sending sparks of pain and pleasure through his head. "Fuck, you really want me mad, don't you?" he asks and you whine in response, your whole body tingly with anticipation.
"Get on your knees," he says, pulling you back from him, your hair already a mess from his hands, the straps of your dress falling down your shoulders and nearly making your tits spill out. "Open your mouth," he commands, and you follow immediately, your wide eyes looking up at him in desire, his thumb running over your bottom lip. "I like when you do what I say," he says, pinching your cheek and making you blush, the praise making your insides turn to jelly. He unzips his pants smoothly, undoing the button and swiftly pulling out his hard cock, the tip a slight shade of red and already leaking slightly.
"Look what you did to me," he says, palming himself, your tongue nearly falling out of your mouth as you salivate over his beautiful cock. "I thought for a moment I'd have to come up here and deal with this all on my own, after you eye-fucked me all dinner," he continues, slowly stroking his length, moving closer to your open and waiting lips. "I should have known you weren't wearing any panties from the way you were acting," he says, gently running his tip along your outstretched tongue, spreading your spit around your face with it and making a mess of you. "No bra, no panties. You wanted to be fucked tonight." Slowly he enters your mouth, gently holding your head as he pushes further in, gently tapping the back of your throat and making you gag. You moan, your pussy clenching around nothing, wanting him to fill all of your holes at once. "That feels good, doesn't it. Gagging on my cock," he smirks, your eyes fluttering closed as he pushes in again, this time a little harder. "Eyes on me baby, don't look away," he says, slowly beginning to fuck your throat, gently enough not to choke you but deep enough to make you repeatedly gag, your spit covering his cock and running down your chin, your face a complete mess. "Fuck, your mouth feels good," he groans, his face scrunching up in pleasure for a moment, before he looks down to meet your eyes again, which are now glued to him, glued to every change in his expression, every flick of his tongue across his bottom lip. "I'm gonna go harder baby, I know you can take it," he warns you before picking up his pace, his cock nearly bottoming out in your mouth as he holds your head in place, repeatedly fucking into your throat. You're automatically swallowing around him, your body's reflexive actions taking over. "Fuck, so good," Hongjoong sighs, your head feeling light from the lack of oxygen and your body swimming in pleasure. You could let him use your throat all night if he wanted to, especially if he keeps talking to you like that. Like you're dumb and you don't even know what you want. Like he has to tell you or you'll never figure it out.
Finally you choke hard, your body instinctively pulling you back, and he pulls out of your mouth letting you catch you breath, stroking a hand through your hair. You run a hand across your mouth, trying in vain to clean yourself up a bit, wiping the saliva on your dress and staring up at him open mouthed, your entire body covered in a sheen of sweat.
"Hey, don't ruin this," he says pulling at your dress, moving behind you to help take it off. He slowly undoes the zipper, gently pulling the straps down and off your arms before helping you stand to step out of it. Completely bare, you stand in front of him, his hand coming up to spank you, grabbing your ass hungrily in his hand. You yelp at the impact, like you weren't expecting it. Like you hadn't been sticking your ass out ever so slightly, arching your back to add to the affect. "Don't write checks you can't cash, doll," he says, making you giggle and turn your head to face him, a look of utter delight on your face. "It really makes you happy when I scold you, doesn't it," he says, staring you down.
"Why are you so clothed?" you ask, finding your words.
"You want to see me naked?" he teases.
"Just seems like you're hiding something. Maybe under all that nice clothing you're really not that built," you laugh, knowing it would strike a nerve. It wasn't hard to tell that he cared about his figure.
"Go sit on your hands on the bed," he retorts, his eyes narrowing, as he starts taking off his watch, undoing the clasp on his chain. He sets both down on the table gently, pulling his shirt over his head next, revealing that most of his abdomen is also covered in tattoos, his broad shoulders and broad chest. Slowly he sits on the side of the bed to untie his shoes, periodically looking up at you to make sure you haven't moved, moving almost comically slow. You wriggle in anticipation, watching him slowly reveal himself, his muscular thighs finally on display to you as he pulls down his pants and boxers, his cock hard and a deeper shade of red now, still glistening from your spit.
"Lay on your stomach," he says, moving over you when you oblige, raking the hair out of your face so he can see you. "This is what you get for sticking your ass out," he says, swiftly moving down to lick over your hole, making you gasp at the coldness of his tongue. Immediately the feeling runs to your clit, your entire crotch alive with pleasure, your back arching instinctively to meet his movements. He spreads your cheeks to get better access, moving his tongue in quick circles around your tight entrance, your body slowly relaxing from the pleasure he's providing.
And suddenly he's off of you, reaching into his bedside drawer and pulling out a bottle, swiftly lubing the fingers of his right hand and moving them to your waiting hole, gently pushing one in. You groan, the tight muscles stretching already, your body arching even further to give him the perfect angle as he gently starts pumping in and out of you.
"You like getting your ass eaten, I knew you would. So dirty," he says, making you whine in agreement, your brows scrunched together in pleasure. Soon he adds another finger, the stretch again making you groan, your body instinctively tightening up at the intrusion. "I know you can take it," he says, not even attempting to comfort you. "Don't brats like getting their asses fucked?" he asks, his words making your clit ache, your body finally releasing again as he works you open with two fingers, taking the opportunity to quickly add another. "I knew it," he says, satisfied with how quickly he's stretched you open, how pliant your body is in his hands, how he's getting exactly what he wants from you. Still fucking you with his fingers, he opens the lube bottle again with his other hand, generously dousing his achingly hard cock. Gently he pulls his fingers out of you, frozen for a moment staring at the way your hole has opened up, nearly drooling from the visual.
"Spread you legs," he says, pushing your knees apart himself, pulling you ass up towards him, just where he wants you. Lining himself up, he slowly pushes in, the stretch even more severe this time, making you whine in pain, your breaths short and stifled with your head now shoved into his pillows. "What, you can't take it? Is it too big?" he asks, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "My little brat can't take my cock in her ass?"
Tears start forming in your eyes from how turned on you are, the pain a secondary feeling as it all starts to feel just right, as it starts morphing into only pleasure as your muscles finally relent. You feel like you're being split open, like you're opened up more than ever before, like he's gutting you from the inside. Finally he bottoms out, reaching into you further than you thought you could feel, your clit throbbing painfully with need.
"Fuck, you're so tight," he groans from above you, brushing a hand along your cheek in an almost sweet gesture, seeing the single tear stain on your cheek. He waits a moment, waiting to feel if your body is ready, and suddenly your hips are moving into his like your body is begging him to move. He slowly pulls out, almost all the way, then thrusts back in, making you gasp at the intense pleasure, your breath nearly getting caught in your throat. Grabbing your hips he starts forcefully thrusting, chasing his own pleasure as he's sucked into your ass, the tight muscles threatening to make him come in an instant. Desperate for some relief you move your hand to your clit, desperately trying to circle it as he rocks you hard with the force of his thrusts. His eyes are glued to your ass, glued to the way his cock looks buried inside you, and your face, the way your mouth hangs permanently open as you moan in earnest, clearly not controlling a single sound that is coming out. The raw sounds make him fuck into you even harder, the way you sound so pathetically fucked out, like you can't believe this feels so good. Eventually his eyes roam down again and spot your hand, swatting it away in an instant, his anger boiling up again.
"Is my cock not enough?" he scolds, his voice gravelly from breathing so raggedly, the air in the room stiflingly hot. In this position it's hard, but quickly he finds a good angle and lands a sharp smack on your clit, the pain lancing through your core like lightning, and suddenly your whole body is shaking, your nerves completely on fire. "Even with my cock buried in your ass you want to piss me off, don't you?" His voice is raised, nearly to the point of losing control, but still very calculated. He lands another sharp slap on your clit, this time not as hard, but in an instant your orgasm washes over you, your whole body shaking hard as you squeeze down around his cock making it hard for him to keep moving.
"Fuck, baby, shit," Hongjoong curses, his climax hitting him by surprise, his cock milked by your tight walls squeezing down on him, your body taught with just how hard you came. His orgasm crashes over him fast and hard, his body going limp just after yours does, as you both collapse in a pile on the bed, his cum coating the walls of your ass in silky wetness. Your legs are still shaking, tucked up underneath you, his cock still buried deep inside. The position is awkward but you don't even feel it, the pleasure still rippling through you as you breath hard into the soft pillow. Hongjoong crashes onto your back, his arms instinctively wrapping around you, his chest and stomach rapidly rising and falling from his heavy breathing. His skin feels sticky and hot against yours, his hot breath fanning over your cheek as he plants a kiss there, intently watching your face as you come down.
"I'm gonna pull out now, okay?" he asks, eliciting a hum of agreement from you. Slowly he pulls backwards, his cum spilling out of you the moment he's pulled out entirely, spilling down your ass cheek onto the bedsheets. Hongjoong makes his way to the bathroom, quickly cleaning himself up before grabbing a washcloth for you, dousing it in luke warm water. Coming back to the bed he gently moves you onto your back, to the side of the pool of cum. He gently wipes you down, making you moan when he brushes over your clit, making himself chuckle.
Glancing over at the clock beside his bed you see it's nearly 11pm, your mind spinning. Quickly you move to the ground to rummage through your purse, glancing at your phone to see a text from Beatrice reading 'I'm back now, don't stay out too late miss.'
Be back soon, you write back.
"I should be going," you say, trying to stand up, your wobbly legs making it difficult. Hongjoong is at your side in a moment, stabilizing you, helping you to sit down on the bed while he grabs your dress off the floor. You hastily pull it over your head, running your fingers through your hair and feeling the knots that have formed. Quickly you zip the back of your dress, shove your phone in your purse and stand to slip on your sandals, not wanting to keep her waiting. The sudden quietness of Hongjoong also has you feeling slightly on edge, and really your head is just spinning, from every unexpected thing that happened.
"I'm not still mad, you know," he says gently, grabbing your hand as you move to breeze past him.
"Yeah?" you ask, looking at him with confusion.
"You don't need to still be acting like a kid who is in trouble," he says, kissing your hand. "That was just, that. You can talk to me like anyone else, now."
You eye him, swallowing thickly. What does one even say, now? Could he tell how inexperienced you were with hookups?
"I'm not sure what's going on in that pretty head of yours. I hope it's happy thoughts."
You nod, a smirk playing on your lips. You're speechless, unable to think a complete thought. It all just plays in your head, his tongue on your ass, his fingers stretching you out, his cock pounding into you so hard. And the smack on your clit, the way it made you come so fast, the ghost of the feeling still present in your core.
"Not those thoughts. You're gonna jump me again," he laughs, and finally you smack him, punching his arm soon afterwards. Pushing past him you walk fast, opening his door and spinning around, your eyes piercing as you meet his.
"What, you can't take my teasing?" he asks, but suddenly his door swings shut, your face gone in a flash.
As you saunter down the hall to the elevator you feel fucking amazing, swinging your purse over your shoulder and flipping your hair to the side, your sleepy eyes boring holes into the metal doors.
Well, she did tell you to have some fun. You just hoped Beatrice wouldn't be too mad you fucked her uncle.
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reidrum · 3 months ago
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you say ‘what a mind’ | s.r.
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A/N: she’s back and with fluff! (?) exams were really putting me through the ringer but i missed posting so i fixed up this draft i had, i hope you enjoy :D ive been listening to sabrina 25/8 since she dropped so hopefully song inspired fics coming soon 🤞🏽
summary: you get really excited about something new you learned and spencer gets really excited about you
wc: a short n sweet 1k
cw: none, tooth rotting fluff
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With Spencer's extensive knowledge of just about everything, you had assumed that there wasn’t much you contribute to his abundant learning.
You maybe weren’t three-PhD’s smart, but you were smart, averagely speaking. But you knew Spencer was smart, and truth be told it intimidated you. He never made you feel bad about not knowing something, ever. Anytime he gets to talk to you about anything his face lights up like the night sky.
There was, however, one time you had come home all excited to explain a concept from class that finally clicked for you. And the first person you wanted to tell was Spencer.
He watched you bound up to him with a spring in your step, bright eyed and wide cheeks as you told him, “I have to tell you about what I learned about today, it finally made sense to me. Like it felt like a real life light bulb final puzzle piece fitting type moment!”
He smiled warmly down at your eager face, “Alright angel, lay it on me.”
“Okay, I know it’s a little stupid it’s taken me this long to get it, but it’s—“
The call of your name sternly yet fondly falling from Spencer’s lips interrupts your self deprecating preamble, “Hey, we don’t do that, remember? We talked about this.”
Your rants almost always started with some self deprecating remarks, and he would always frown and try to interject and shut them down, to which you’d wave him off under the guise of, “If I stop, I’ll forget!” You were smart, but stubborn to a fault. He loved you for it, but it was hard for him to see you not understand the value you held, the value that your voice and your words and your opinions held. The value that he knew with all certainty you possessed.
A sheepish blush rises on your cheeks as you mumble, “Sorry.”
His fingers trickle closer to yours and wrap around them firmly, bringing you to sit on the couch next to him as he pulls your legs over to rest on his.
“Don’t be sorry, baby,” he says saccharinely, “We’re working on being nicer to ourselves right?”
You nod, he smiles softly back at you and continues, “Okay, tell me what you learned today.”
You start on your long explanation of the inner workings of the nervous system and its intricacies, explaining details and anecdotes that really showcase the inner workings of how your mind processes information.
Spencer can’t help but stare at you in deep fascination, complete with an awestruck smile and glimmering eyes.
He’s met hundreds of scientists, specialists, celebrities even, and listen to them talk about their research in extensive detail and with expansive knowledge. Hell, he’s had to do it himself with his three doctorates.
But as he sits in front of you, watching the person he’s most fond of on this planet watch you talk with so much speed, conviction, passion, with your hands move with purpose and excitement, he truly swears he has never been more in love with you than that moment.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you ask cautiously.
“You,” he moves closer, “Are so intelligent, did you know that?”
“Spencer, I’m not in the mood for jokes plea—“
“No, my love. You are brilliant,” he moves closer to be an inch away from you, placing his hands on your cheeks, “The way you process information is fascinating. When I watch you explain things to me I can see you organize it in your pretty head. It is actually mesmerizing watching you absorb knowledge the way you do. You’re like, a beautiful puzzle all undone, but by the forces of nature you’re able to put yourself together and bear the finished product to me, to anyone.”
Your eyes tear up, “Spence…what the fuck.”
He chuckles softly, “I mean it,” he holds you firmly, planting you in the roots of his belief, “What a mind you have, darling.”
It’s enough to make you tuck your head into his chest, obstructing his view from your imminent tearfall.
“You can’t just say things like that.” you mumble against the soft fabric of his shirt.
Spencer instinctively wraps his arm around your torso, letting the other hand take purchase in your hair, gently stroking it down, “Why not?” He speaks softly.
“Because…I might think you're like, in love with me or something.” You joke.
His laugh rumbles through his chest and into your rested head, “Would that be so bad?”
“Yes.”
“And why is that?”
“It’s going to be another whole moon cycle before I have another a-ha moment like this again. I’ll have nothing to impress you with.”
Spencer smiles and sighs, squeezing you tighter against him, “You always impress me.”
You groan, “Ugh, you don’t have to say that to make me feel better.”
“You do know that you’re really smart, right?” you open your mouth to argue but he cuts you off, “You always underestimate yourself, but you’re really one of the smartest people I know. And I know a lot of smart people.”
A deep sigh leaves you, but he continues, “And you don’t have to believe me. I’ll believe it enough for the both of us. You and your brain are remarkable, so when you come to me with your a-ha moments thinking I’ll be impressed with your spark of knowledge, just know that I am impressed with you, but it’s more because I get to see you realize just how capable you are yourself.”
The calming motion of his fingers through your hair tether you back to this world, your insides fluttering about like butterflies in an open field. It was hard not to believe his words when Spencer was always so kind to you. It was always so easy for you to play it off like you didn’t deserve it.
But Spencer knew wholeheartedly that you did deserve it, that you were even entitled to it. And he’d spend the rest of his life reminding you. That, you knew for a fact.
“I love you,” you say softly, “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me angel, I love you too.” He mumbles in your head, his hand trailing down your sides in comfort.
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jayswhorex · 5 months ago
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missing you
kenji sato x fem!reader
warnings: shower sex, multiple positions, angst & smut
you had an irresistible grip on kenji sato. there was something about the way he always came back to you. sure there had been other girls at some point but he always knew you were the best. and not just when it came to sec but also when it came to everything else. nobody knew kenji sato better than you and maybe he was a tiny bit scared of that. yes, he had a hard time committing to you but he knew if he had to settle down, he couldn't imagine it being with anyone else. so when you showed up at his place and needed a place to stay for a couple of months how could he say no to you?
your schedules had always conflicted so when the two of you rarely saw each other it wasn't such a big surprise to kenji. and times you did see each other were awkward, kenji had been tired of putting up a facade & you knew he just needed his private time. even though during those times all he wanted was to talk to you.
but this morning things had been different, you had decided that you'd take a shower much later than planned to avoid kenji. he snuck out last night to do well…you knew what and had yet to come back. you found yourself just standing under the showerhead, letting water spill all over your skin. you were stuck in your head, trying to grasp why out of nowhere you asked to stay here with kenji. yes, he cared for you but you could never believe that there was a chance in hell he loved you.
you were so distracted by your own thoughts that you hadn't even heard kenji walk in, "mind if i join angel?" his hypnotic voice snaps you from your thoughts. you open your mouth to answer but quickly close it. you open it again and answer with a soft, "mhm".
the cold breeze when kenji opens the shower curtain causes you to shudder, wrapping your arms around your body. "relax" he says gently placing his hands on your waist from behind. his touch was soft and warm, a feeling you used to be used to until you had decided to avoid kenji. you were still trying to make sense of why you were doing this. why are you so scared of letting kenji see those other parts of you?
his mouth pampered your neck with kisses from behind, his hands making their way up to your chest. a delicate whimper escaped your lips, causing you to relax into kenji's touch. kenji squeezed your breasts before giving his attention to your nipples that had softened under the water. he groped on tit while he teased the nipple of the other. "
ken…" you managed to call out, feeling his cock twitch against your ass. the pulsating of his veiny cock against your aunt could only make you more aroused than you had been before. he knew what it meant when you called his name like that and he saw no reason to deprive you of what you craved for. his breaths were deep and heavy, almost as if he had been waiting for this moment. waiting to be able to touch you again even if this was the last life. he keenly guided his cock your drenched cunt, craving to fill you up almost like a dog in heat. a string of sloppy curses falls from your mouth as he slipped his cock in with such ease. there was a brief silence that kenji broke with no hesitation for you, "i missed this baby…i missed us"
kenji gently moved his hips, testing the waters. "kenji you don't have to say that-" a hushed groan accidentally left your mouth, your knees nearly buckling. "just to get in my pants" kenji let a chuckle, you could sense a bit of cockiness hidden beneath that little laugh of his. and god you missed it. "sweetheart i don't know if you can tell but we're way past me getting in your pants," he says a bit frustrated because he wasn't joking.
he was serious about missing you, not the sex nor the fling, he just missing you. he missed your little smiles and the way you'd let him talk to you, he missed you. his thrusts were deep yet rough, and you heard the loud splashes of water getting caught between your bodies. "i know ken but…" kenji's hands found their way to your waist once again, bringing your lower half closer to his. with how wet the walls were and how hard ken was pounding you & your lack of focus you could barely get your sentences out. "…i don't want you to say something you don't mean"
"but i do mean it angel" and that's when it hit him, kenji had to show you. he had to make you understand that needed you and he couldn't do this back and forth anymore. he knew now he was sick of it. you whined when you felt his thrusts slowing, he swiftly pulled out of you and turned your body so that you were facing him. "ken-"you were slightly confused but when he picked you up and gently slid himself into you, you got the memo. "just listen angel please" kenji held you bu the thighs while you had your arms wrapped around his neck, a mixture of moans and groans spilling out of your mouth with each thrust kenji gave you.
"i miss you when you've left early for work in the mornings," he said followed by a hollow grunt that threatened to escape his mouth. your insides clenched around him, encouraging him to be a little less gentle with you. kenji nearly slammed you up against the wall, earning some very noisy moans from you while toenails dug into his back. he knew they would definitely affect his performance at his next game but that was very far from his mind. the only thing he was focusing on right now was you because he had so much more to say and he needed you to listen.
"i miss you when you work late"
"i miss you when you can't come to my games"
"i miss being around you baby"
"i fucking miss hearing your voice" kenji was so stuck in his own head, chasing this high with you while also mumbling out how much he missed you, and need you and wanted you. his words had to mean something to you because, in the end, he was the one you came to when you needed a place to stay. though still dazed, kenji finds himself gripped on the flesh of your thigh firmly as he really himself inside of you. your legs wrapped around his lower waist bringing his body even closer to yours. his grip on your thighs loosened a bit and he leaned his forehead against yours, trying to calm himself down. he feared the silence that had fallen between the two of you but at least he had told you how he was feeling even if that meant nothing to you.
but you could only smile at him and say, "i missed you too ken"
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