#but i do care that my own autistic “friends” shut me down when i tried to talk to them ab being autistic

[discountgospel]

finding out I was autistic changed my life in such a profound unbelievable way, so much of the anguish I had coiled inside of me just wilted when I stopped living this life of self-punishment and charade for the sake of trying to operate as something I'm not. and for years I knew I probably was but was so vehemently in denial about it because I so badly wanted not to be, even when professionals wanted to query it. all this to say that maybe if you care about the wellbeing of autistic people you would actually get up and do something that helps people in the real world instead of zoning in on the "everyone online thinks they're autistic now" wave that achieves piss all

[matchakuracat]

chronically ill/physically disabled people, how do you deal with doctors appointments? what do you say/do to advocate for yourself? im autistic and not diagnosed with a chronic illness yet and i really struggle to know what to say to get them to listen to me and understand so that i can get the help and care i need. even if i bring someone with me, they also need to know what to say and i don't know anyone who understands well enough to explain to the doctor for me, which means that i have to tell them what to say before going. but that's the problem since i just don't know.

i have chronic joint pain that ive had for years but has only gotten worse over time. i also have hypermobile knees which are the worse they've ever been right now. i'm chronically fatigued and barely have the energy to eat and do basic hygiene. i have a few friends that i talk to fairly regularly and im very thankful for them but i still struggle so much with maintaining a social life when i cant even maintain my own physical wellbeing. i only go outside when i absolutely have to/when my pain is low enough and i have enough energy. on average i probably leave my house about once or twice a week, usually to go to medical appointments, to an internship i have once a week or to go grocery shopping. i usually try to do both at the same time if i can (like going grocery shopping after my internship) but most of the time i have to ask my parents to get me groceries since i dont have enough energy to. all i want is to be able to go outside just to take short walks and enjoy nature and the fresh air but i can't do so without the right treatment/a mobility aid. everything im doing right now is bordering the line of too much. im constantly tired and overwhelmed and everything feels like a struggle, even the smallest tasks most people do everyday without thinking twice about it.

i have almost only had bad experiences with doctors and other medical professionals like physiotherapists, which has given me a lot of extra anxiety on top of my already pretty bad social anxiety. i really struggle to make appointments and even more so to go to them, and when i bring myself to do so i really struggle to express myself and explain how i feel and how i want them to help me. i almost always get shut down and offered no actual help with any of my problems. i just don't know what to do anymore.

if anyone has any advice i'd really appreciate it. i know that i can't give up because my life right now without accommodations is too miserable, but i also don't know how to move forward.

sorry if this was hard to understand. i really tried my best to explain but im having a bit of a hard time expressing myself right now due to feeling worse than usual.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA (30f) for losing my cool/snapping at my roommate and friend (30m, who I will call Kyle) because he was too loud playing games online with his friends?

For context, in case it's needed: this happened a couple months ago, but it's been on my mind. We are both autistic and thus got a late start in our adult lives, in several ways. We have been friends for 10 years and have lived together for roughly 7 of them, on and off (we adopted 2 cats together many years ago, its just easier like this so we dont have to separate them or force one of us to be away from the cats. we love them very much. kind of a coparenting situation lol). Kyle has a salaried tech job that's remote for 70% of the time, and I've recently become a full-time online college student after failing to "make it" without a degree.

We live in a tiny 2-bedroom house that Kyle's family owns. We're only charged for utilities, which is why neither of us are leaving anytime soon (contrary to what you might assume, Kyle does not make a lot of money), especially since it's giving me the opportunity to go to school full-time and not worry about rent. Kyle helps me a lot with groceries and other necessities and I do most of the chores.

So we are always basically on top of each other, and sometimes we get on each other's nerves. We try to be respectful of each others' space, but it's hard because there is not much space in the first place.

I had a really busy day studying and doing homework, which is basically every day for me, since I'm taking 6 classes, 4 of which are STEM classes. So I tend to fall asleep early if I'm not unintentionally pulling all-nighters. I was trying to sleep when this happened around 9pm.

He usually closes his door because he knows he can be very loud, but it doesn't help much. I ended up having to close my own door to try and drown out some of his yelling and laughing, which I understand is going to happen and I try not to hold it against him.

But then he opened his door and left it wide open, so I could hear everything, like he was in the same room. Something really funny must have happened because he started scream-laughing.

Despite this being a semi-regular weekly occurrence, I was really startled. I figured, it probably wasn't intentional and he'll try to quiet down and close his door. I tried to relax and as soon as I started to fall asleep, he did it again, except louder.

This time he didn't stop, he was full-on screaming and yelling at the top of his lungs. Kinda like those game streamers/youtubers where literally all they do is scream the whole time? Very similar. My cat, who was asleep under the blanket on top of me, got startled awake and scratched the shit out of my leg.

I think this all triggered a "fight" response because I was suddenly just so incredibly pissed at Kyle, which I tried to get under control, but he would not stop screaming and I literally could not hear myself think.

(I cannot wear earplugs or have anything in/covering my ears for huge sensory reasons.)

Then my cat wanted to leave the room to see what the commotion was, so I had to open the door, which gave me a direct line of sight to to Kyle at his computer.

I walked over to his doorway. Tried to knock and call his name, but he didnt notice with his noise cancelling headphones on. So I slammed my hand against his door to get his attention & yelled "Hey! Shut the fuck up, Kyle!"

He looked surprised to see me and laughed and kinds waved it off and said "sorry, it got a little intense" and he started to explain what they were doing.

I cut him off and said "I don't care. Shut the hell up." He said he could close his door again, and I said "No, you need to stop. Just stop! You're freaking the cats out too!" and I pointed to my leg with huge bloody scratch marks, shut his door, went back to my room, shut my own door. And of course after that I had adrenaline coursing through my body and I couldn't fall asleep anyway.

After that, I didnt hear a single sound from his room apart from an occasional quiet laugh. I started to feel guilty. I think I overreacted and ruined his fun. I know this is his way of blowing off steam halfway through the work week.

I also felt embarrassed because his friends probably heard me throwing a fit. We have lived with them before, and they're exactly that loud every single night. I have had to ask them to quiet down multiple times, and Kyle told me later on that gave them the impression that I'm. Well, "neurotic, controlling bitch" was heavily implied. Kyle is usually a lot more chill, but being around these guys influences him to act more like them.

But, I guess being loud while having fun isn't a crime, especially when it's not even 10pm yet. I feel like I proved his friends right, maybe.

The next morning I apologized, he apologized too, and everything seems to be good between us, but it's been a while and he's a lot quieter during game night now. He's such a reserved and stressed out person, he hardly ever laughs except when he's playing games, so I feel like I destroyed an important outlet.

I told another friend what happened and she said I didn't overreact at all and she would have flipped out way sooner if her husband did that. (Not sure it's comparable I mean we aren't married lol) And for the record, this friend and her husband were once part of a now-fractured friend group including Kyle and his game night friends, but grew apart, for a lot of reasons, but I think mainly because the Loud Gamer Friends never really grew up while everyone else matured and moved on to different phases in life.

Basically my friends current impression of Kyle is that he is a decent person but incredibly emotionally stunted and feels like he may unintentionally cope in ways that often hurt me without caring as much as she thinks he should. Which....feels partially accurate, I guess. But isn't that placing too much responsibility on him for my wellbeing? He does a lot for me, so it felt like an unfair thing to say.

My mom on the other hand, seems to fully think I am an asshole fun-ruiner. She thinks I should have tried harder to calm down. Maybe I should have approached him sooner - nicely.

And I agree. He probably would have tried his best to oblige even if he couldn't fully succeed. But that's the reason I didn't bother - in the past he has only been able to honor that kind of request for maybe 10-15 minutes, then forgets, and it's exhausting to keep reminding him.

Anyway... what does everyone here think?

[stem-sister-scuffle]

STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 1 MASHUP 2

Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) vs Futaba Sakura (Persona 5)

Reagan Ridley is a Roboticist!

Futaba Sakura is a Computer Scientist and Hacker/Programmer!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Reagan Ridley:

"She is my blorbo <333 my specialest little girl <3333 she is going to take over the world with the power of daddy issues, superiority complexes and SCIENCE <333"

"Mommy and daddy issues. In her 30s. A REALISTIC woman witn features that a normal (?) freaking human could have. She's so girlboss and girlfailure at the same time. Just a fucking loser. Nice non-romantic relationship with (male) her BFF (business friend/family forever)."

"guhh shes so cool. emotionally neglected autism lady (also implied bisexual). she made a robot replica of a guy on a dating app to practice date him so she didnt fuck it up. also she works for the deep state. "Who's the weirdo now? Not the girl who invented robot arms to hug strangers! Oh my god I sound insane""

"I don’t think she’s in a specific field other than conspiracy theories. Maybe robotics. She built a robot boyfriend and robot president both of which developed sentient AI, and she built herself a set of robot arms. But she also created a giant sentient frog, like a real frog not a robot, when she was in fifth grade. Autism swag. She goes to the moon and hears that there are moon nazis and goes “have you tried shooting them? It works for earth nazis”"

"she skrunkly, never sleep, tragic backstory babygirl"

"neurodivergent girlboss"

"She is girlboss and she’s cringefail. She made an AI robot president. She made a robot replica of her date. She was uhhh “tweaked” in the womb to be more like her dad (who is also a scientist.) She would prefer to engineer literally anything over dealing with her problems directly. She is everything. Justice for inside job getting cancelled"

"She is absolutely insane, and also relatable. She is severely undervalued in her corporate deep state work environment, deals with the worst situations imaginable on a regular basis, and also cares deeply for the people around her. She is easily the smartest person in any given room and yet she is still very insecure."

"its because shes just like me fr. one small caveat is that i think she's straight in canon. oh well cant have everything"

Futaba Sakura:

"shes a 15yo autist who can take down the in-universe equivalent of anonymous in an afternoon. she has mommy issues"

"she is a silly goofy girl who can also pull insane feats of programming. she can hack into anything. she set up her own giant computer rig. she can remotely tap into people's phones."

"She is so blorbo! She’s very smart and funny, could use her powers for evil (and occasionally causes mischief) but uses them for good, cool character arc, just a silly little guy :)"

"she's silly i like her tetris shirt and she speaks in dorky references"

"technology (shes a hacker??) with a side of science (she has an interest in her mothers work in the field of cognitive "psience" as its referred to in-game!!) uhhh cant really explain stuff well but shes really epic and truly the hackergirl ever. shes cool enough that i partially based a character i recently made off of her tbh"

"Futaba is a traumatized shut-in that hates getting out of her room and interacting with people. She first contacts the heroes by hacking their group chat, asking for them to consider changing the heart of ""Futaba Sakura"".

Once they do, Futaba manages to confront her feelings and trauma and heal. She makes peace with the survivor's guilt she feels after the unfair death of her mother, who was a researcher/programmer before her.

Futaba does a lot of hacking for the sake of her friends, the Phantom Thieves. This also reflects in her Persona Necronomicon. She's the navigator/mission control of the group, not having combat abilities but being able to scan enemies to show their weaknesses.

Futaba's hacking also helps save the protagonist's life at one point. Like that's literally a huge plot point in the True Ending of Persona 5 and 5R. She's amazing."

"She is very good with computers and she helped the Phantom thieves with her hacking abilities"

[charmixpower]

Here's a version with no bg! And under the cut imma explain my hcs!

Going in order;

Tecna: Nonbinary Flag cape, Aro and Ace belt clips, Transfeminine pin, and Autism pin

Tecna doesn't really care about figuring out what her exact gender is because that doesn't affect the happiness she experiences in her life so she uses the macro label of Nonbinary and Transfeminine, and was very happy simply socially transitioning to being more feminine

She uses She/He/They pronouns, and doesn't actually care which one people use for her. Since magic is a very female dominant field and because she's transfeminine most people just assume she only uses she/her and she honestly doesn't care enough to correct them

She experiences no type of attraction, but isn't repulsed. She's completely neutral but is very much interested in not participating

She's very autistic. She experiences shut downs, takes things very literally, is like aggressive sincere bc not doing that never occurred to her, can't read others emotions to save her life—people on Zenith usually keep to themselves and have a extremely straightforward culture that very autism friendly so Tecna never noticed she was different until she left

Aisha: Lesbian Flag, Demi aro ace pin, and that's the Pride flag in her bag

Aisha is exclusively attracted to women and only experiences attraction after knowing someone well. Additionally, Demi people have different amounts of time for when they feel attraction and for Aisha they have to be at the very least good friends before any attraction can develop

Musa: Bisexual jacket

Musa is bisexual with a preference for men. She figured out she was bisexual after watching the world's shittest romance movie and wished she was dating both of them. She is the most disastrous of bisexuals. Shes never had a crush on a normal person, that or it's another straight girl. Someone pray for her

Bloom: Omni Flag cape, and Autism pin

Had a friend describe Omni as being between Pan and Bi, where gender plays a role but not as big and it really fitt the way I see Bloom so here. Bloom experiences attraction differently based on gender but has no preference, so she's Omni. I genuinely think Bloom would like and use micro labels, she just comes off to me as a "I need to find the perfect word to decide my experience" girlie

Bloom's autism is all in the sensitivity, being easily overwhelmed and wanting to process in a safe place, complete lack of understanding of danger, and huge special interest baybeee. Also her complete inability to express empathy without filtering it though her own life experience but eventually she figures out how to just express empathy and sympathy without doing that XD

Stella: Pan dress, ADHD purse, and three different Polyamorous pins

Stella is pan "because I can't deny any gender a shot" - Stella of Solaria

That's a real quote. She told me herself. Yeah but she's pan and thinks everyone is hot. Shes our Combined type ADHD queen. Bow down. The three different polyam pins are because there're two different popular flags, the most common really ugly one and the redesign so I used both so people would understand and the new polyam symbol. If she and Brandon met someone they wanted to date there would be no question if they tried to bring them into the relationship. Only when

Flora: Bisexual dress, Pride belt, and Pride earrings

Flora is bisexual with a preference for women. She has no clue she was into men for a little while, primarily bc she finds femininity the most attractive so it was until she saw a gnc guy and couldn't stop staring that she realized she was bisexual. The distinguished bisexual to Musa's utter disaster

[archangeltwins]

living with this as an undiagnosed / misdiagnosed kid & teen, and now she wants to claim that she 'quit her job to take care of me'???????

examples I can remember/haven't entirely blocked out:

- calling me bitch, selfish, lazy, ungrateful, entitled, asshole, worthless

- empty-feeling praise or encouragement

- emotionally distant?

- felt my accomplishments were not my own, that they were only for them

- always had to pick which parent was right in a petty argument, to "back them up"

- NEVER felt that I was allowed to express emotions the correct way

- has never admitted she's wrong and makes me out to be the martyr instead

- accusing me of being a fibber, that everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie

- "you haven't been abused"

- wants me to apologize to her most times, instead of the other way around

- bringing up my past mistakes and provoking me into getting angry with her ("why are you always so angry with me/us?")

- ignoring my privacy or boundaries (wanting to know who I'm talking with, then tells me "she doesn't care who I talk to") on my phone/barging into bedroom unannounced, even when door is closed

- never let me shut/lock my door throughout childhood, always wanted me to keep it open "to see if I was doing anything suspicious"

- door taken off the hinges for punishments I can't remember/or blocked out entirely (stupid ones, like slamming too hard)

- always having to ask permission to do things (go out with friends/buy stuff/etc)

- telling me when I got upset that I was "too sensitive' or that I "couldn't take a joke"

- she has spanked me until I cried (younger), as I tried to protect my bottom from the smacks I was told to move my hands

- always thinks I have an "attitude" (and forbid I try to explain myself...)

- "I'm your mother!"

- "my house, my rules" (but if the house needed cleaning, it was "my" house too?)

- "I yell because I love you"

- "I brought you into this world, I can take you out" (threatening me with murder, great!)

- said that living "under their roof" was a privilege, not a right

- insults as sarcasm or put-downs, especially during lectures

- complains about how i never do anything, then jumps to do it once we offer (with a huff and "ungrateful" or "lazy")

- threatened suicide during a fit just to get us to pay attention to her

- said that if "[therapist] doesn't give them the answers they want" then I won't be going anymore

- threatened to take my phone/cut off service/etc to try and get me to feel...small? reliant on them?

- "you're not the adult in this house and you don't get to make the rules"

- also threatened to "take everything they've paid for" out of my room and leave me with the stuff I've bought

- threatening abandonment "driving off and never coming back"/etc after tirades

- "we're not the problem, you are"

- "we love you and want to see you happy" (right...)

- "we're the parents and you're the child"

- during "family meetings", she wanted to record what I say/do and I didn't get to have a say whether I want her to or not

- used to yell and get furious, then "apologize" and act completely normal (always thought that her quick flip to normalcy was so bewildering)

- used to make me decide my own punishment (soap/spoon/flyswatter/etc)

- threatening to send me to a psych ward bc of an autistic shutdown

- both of them used me as their sounding board to vent about the other parent when they should've been going to FUCKING THERAPY

- i would be so terrified of her blowups that i'd self-punish before she got home by putting all my electronics in her room

- sound of her car keys / car door shutting? instant dread and cold fear

[ehlnofay]

a caelestis info dump would be much appreciated if you’re down for it^^

friend I'm ALWAYS down to infodump about my characters. literally nothing delights me more

I considered being all secretive in answering this ask and trying not to give too much away lest I want to write it out later on but like... the odds of me writing a longform story encompassing zir entire arc in chronological fashion is infinitesimal and it's more fun to let myself ramble about it so I'm just going to say whatever comes to mind because ze's my darling and I want everyone to love zem as much as I do

so, bare bones info, caelestis vitellius is my nerevarine, a heavily autistic-coded dunmer/cyrod with unprecedented levels of nonbinary swag. ze grew up in the imperial city, raised by zir mother, a wealthy eccentric with ties to both colovian and bretic nobility, and lived an excruciatingly sheltered life up until an unfortunate misstep involving necromantic theory and irresponsible medical care landed zem in prison and then carted zem off to vvardenfell. from there, The Horrors

and horrors there are in great number. caelestis' story is an interesting one to me... it's all very sad in a certain light, but it doesn't really feel like it. it's never hopeless. caelestis, especially early on, is characterised by zir naïveté, and throughout zir whole... stint, I guess, in morrowind, this is absolutely capitalised on by people who do not have zir best interests in mind. that and the confusion of belonging to so many worlds at once - both dunmer and imperial, embroiled in vvardenfell society and politics while still a member of the empire's secret service, caught between the near-mythical ancient world nerevar belonged to and the regular mundanity of everyday life in modern morrowind. caelestis is a very earnest and social person, and ze craves understanding and camaraderie that ze can never truly have because of the amount of lines ze's straddling. everyone that ze seeks this from is in some capacity exploiting zem, or has in the past. ze becomes aware of this over time, which leads to some interesting shifts in dynamics (most notably with vivec, who caelestis sticks to like glue. I'm OBSESSED with their relationship - they are best friends, but it's not because they like each other, they are just both on such an unhinged level that there's no-one else who could possibly understand them. it's kind of codependent. they do love each other. they spend years after the events of the game planning on exactly how to disappear together. caelestis won't shut up about how he tried to sic the entire temple on zem that one time. they don't really talk about the nerevar thing for ages. when asked if they're friends they both bluescreen)

what else. I have a lot of corprus thoughts... have a few pieces of writing about it. might post an old one tonight. I think that the cure ze gets kills off all the really infected flesh, meaning that after ze recovers like 80% of zir body is necrotised. a lot of the tumour has to be surgically removed. after taking the time to process it all emotionally caelestis learns to necromantically manipulate zir own soft tissue which comes in surprisingly handy in a lot of situations.

tangentially related... almalexia kills caelestis in the clockwork city. it's an unfortunate experience for both of them. I will not clarify this further.

caelestis begins zir arc as some guileless weirdo thrust into circumstances beyond zir control or ken and ends it a highly disillusioned mythical hero / an affront to god and man, but throughout it all ze keeps a sense of curiosity and wonder at all the things the world has to offer. of all my characters I find zir ending perhaps the most interesting, because it isn't one - I have no idea what happens after. something new. something interesting, probably. something good, I hope - I really put zem through the wringer

[haarute]

sorry that this is late but for that long list of ask me things #4

4: What do you think about most?

okay this will be a lot

i don't have a particular thing i think about throughout the day as i usually get distracted by whatever i come across with work, hobbies, social media, etc. so what i think about the most would have to be a recurring thought in the long-term, which for me, is almost daily constant introspection.

without getting into too many details let's say i hit a major depressive episode i never fully recovered from at age 15 and just kinda shut down. i ran away from the things that hurt me (which historically is a recurring bad habit of mine), leaving people close to me behind when i shouldn't have because i wanted to be alone.

but since humans are social creatures, after a while i tried to meet new people and get along with them, but in retrospect those relationships were shallow and desperate. it's incredibly easy to just say nice things to people who need to hear them until they like you, but you're not actually forming a connection because you're not a real person, and often times, neither is the other party. you're just leeching off of each other with the illusion of kindness.

eventually that led to a another episode followed by the thought that i kept hurting people by not being able to keep my emotions in check and just acting out of selfish impulses. so i decided to completely dedicate myself to "improving" my person so that i wouldn't have to hurt anyone again.

i'm a few weeks away from being 27 now, and i've spent almost 10 years essentially running therapy sessions with myself every day. going over all of my life events, my feelings, my actions, and how to best minimize the amount of "damage" i inflict on others which has mostly led me to a hermit lifestyle. but let's be honest, that's also partially an excuse because i'm afraid of getting hurt again.

now the problem with that mentality is obviously thinking that suppressing my ego is somehow a good thing and not an incredibly damaging thing to do not only for me but for anyone that might care about me, which is not something i have any control over.

this is a mentality that i am just finally starting to grow out of almost a decade later, but it's really hard and i still default to seeing myself and any of my wants or needs (or even other people's) as something inherently bad. desire as something inherently selfish. and we could tie a plethora of gender issues imparted onto me by my upbringing and immediate family into this, but let's not go there today.

ultimately the place where i land now is one where i'm realizing how much of my life has been lost already, and how much of my decisions have been super damaging for literally everyone involved. which to my surprise, and even if i try to be as alone as possible, goes beyond only me.

so now i'm starting to actually allow myself to express my true feelings a bit more. i try to be a bit more outspoken and reach out to others and maybe even make friends, except this time i'm like a real normal person and not someone running simulations in order to be liked. fun fact, i believe i may be autistic and would like to get a diagnosis sometime this year.

however, circling back to the original question (because there was a question at the beginning of this), i have done this for so long that it's almost impossible for me to stop the way my brain works now. i think i've forever been rewired into analyzing everything and trying to problem solve my humanity, which is something that is unquantifiable. but i am always trying, if anything, to be a better person, except now i can tell that i shouldn't suppress my own self for that goal. but it is very much a daily process for me.

in a different life, i probably would have been a buddhist monk.

[tythehedgehogheadcanons]

I think it's finally time I do my general Sonic headcanons! I've been on a huge Sonic, Knuckles, and Shadow brainrot JADJAN

You can find my Shadow headcanons on my blog!

We all know Sonic, the lovable cocky hedgehog! He always seems to find himself in another scenario where he has to stop Robotnik's plans and help his friends

Sonic is one hell of an extrovert, bringing his happy-go-lucky personality everywhere he goes. He can get cocky and annoying at times, but I believe he is rather humble. He can brag, but he never strokes his own ego very much! ("Team Sonic" should still be named "Team Hero" smh)

Sonic always finds a way to bring his friend's spirits up, even if it means bailing on something else. If a friend is sad, he'll stay and cheer them up instead of going to an event! Everyone's happiness, including his own, is priority #1 for Sonic.

Sonic does get a little embarrassed by his friends in public though, he wants to keep his confident image, not look soft! However, this 'cool guy' facade completely drops the moment his friends look sad, angry, uncomfortable, etc.

Sonic loves going on runs through nature! He works so hard to protect every part of nature, he loves traveling to national parks and finding secret groves.

ALL About adventure! Boredom is never something on his schedule, if he's bored then the world is ending I swear, if you want to force him to sit down for a while he will become the most annoying little shit

Sonic most definitely has a twitch account and streams inconsistently. It's something there for him to do when he's bored and wants to play games.

Sonic actually hates being alone for long periods of time! That's another reason why he streams, is when he's lonely and wants to interact with someone.

Sonic is actually a rather patient hedgehog! He's willing to slow down for the people he cares about, he never wants anyone to feel unsafe around him.

Sonic, when you can actually get him to wear clothes, prefers 90s style, bright colors, hoodies, holographic clothes, and generally clothes that look great and colorful on him.

Sonic's music choice is rock, high-energy music, and generally anything that sounds good. He's willing to try out new things, and can enjoy a variety of things!

Sonic makes sure to greet everyone he meets when walking around. It doesn't matter what they look like, who they are, or what they're doing, he will make sure to say hi while running by!

As I said earlier, a HUGE extrovert. When you're with him, you WILL interact with random people, he doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut!

His mouth works faster than his brain, and he will say almost everything on his mind. He is forward and honest with everyone unless it's something he would prefer to keep to himself!

Sonic is very active on social media, and loves interacting with fans. He will respond to almost everything he gets, will always stop to take selfies with anyone who asks, and is the least controversial celebrity you will ever meet!

I think Sonic would enjoy receiving flowers and gifts, he would display them all around his house! He doesn't throw away a single one- unless it's something gross, like a small child tried to give him a half-eaten lollipop- he would still take it to avoid hurting their feelings but would throw it away and wash his hands later.

Two words. Self. Care. Sonic takes care of himself and makes sure to treat himself, and definitely makes sure all his friends do the same! He makes sure everyone eats at least 3 meals a day, drinks at least 1 glass of water, and takes showers at least twice a week. Self care is very important for everyone!

I may have missed a few things, but I really like Sonic as a whole! I'm an autistic person with ADHD and often forget to take care of myself due to hyperfixating on drawing all day. Thinking of Sonic actually gets me thinking of taking breaks to eat and drink, he's like a comfort character!

[autistic-paul]

Paul Matthews is autistic, a masterpost

It's been a while since I've made any sort of masterpost about the autistic Paul headcanon, so I think I'll give it another shot. It's a long one, so strap in! First off, none of this was intentional. Paul was not written to be autistic. Jon has always been supportive of how people view Paul, and that's wonderful, but please don't give Starkid credit for representation they didn't actually include. None of this is concrete, either, it's a collection of traits that can be viewed as neurodivergent traits if someone chooses to do so. I personally do, but at the end of the day, he's just a character that fans can perceive however they want.

- Paul struggles with anxiety. The source of his anxiety in the majority of TGWDLM stems from a change in his routine, of the world he knows drastically changing overnight. He had no reason to get so clearly distressed from what was clearly just a flash dance (That he knew of, at least), even considering his distaste of musicals. But it threw him off quite a lot.

- He's quite blunt and often rude. Whether you believe it's intentional or not, he has a tendency to shut people down when he doesn't want to do something, and makes no attempts to soften the blow or be polite. Telling Bill he didn't want to help him reconnect with Alice, turning down softball, getting worked up with the Greenpeace girl called him out and taking him off his social script. All of these things aren't ways that society expects people to communicate. It's not for lack of caring, Paul truly loves Bill and considers him his best friend, he's just straightforward and says exactly what he thinks.

- The social awkwardness isn't just him being blunt. He's only briefly in Black Friday, but there's plenty of evidence. In other filmings of the show, Paul attempts to shake Tom's hand, and hesitantly pulls it back when it's not taken, and then also tries to shake Tim's hand. He knows that's considered the social script, that's how you greet people in professional situations. He doesn't easily adapt to different social dynamics, considering he tries to shake a child's hand. He just does what he knows. Emma had to cut him off after the bumper cars line, he would have continued to escalate the situation otherwise. All of his parts in Black Friday showcase his difficulty in social situations.

- He's very reliant on social scripts. He repeats himself sometimes, like with the caramel frappe for Bill and also for Mr. Davidson. He says thank you for your service to Tom without hesitation in BF, because that's the thing you say. A small one, but worth mentioning.

- He has little to no ambition, and despite not liking his job according to Forever and Always, he has no intention of changing his path. Nick has said Paul has worked at CCRP for close to a decade. He's settled into the life he has, and change in any capacity is distressing to him. He goes to work, he gets his coffee, he goes home. Emma is the only change we've seen him welcome. In the bunker, Hatchetfield was overrun by aliens, and he said he still didn't want to leave.

- His reactions to stress are not particularly neurotypical. He seeks out familiarity and comfort, such as immediately making his way to Beanies to calm himself down after LDDDD, to indulge in his routine. When he was in the alleys with Emma, he brought up movies and board games, despite the fact that it was an odd time to try to discuss interests with someone he barely knew. If we count Jon's original audition for the character, we can easily infer that Paul has a special interest in film. At the very least, he has strong opinions on it, and wanting to discuss an interest even when the timing isn't appropriate is common for autistic people.

- The stims. Oh, the stims. He wrings his hands quite often, he taps his fists on top of each other, and he repeats words over and over. (The okays can be seen as a form of echolalia, which is a type of vocal stim!) Keep an eye on his hands throughout the whole show, they're moving very often, and particularly intensely in times of stress.

- His body language. There's the ever-present discomfort, of course, and the stimming, but there's more than that. He's extremely tactile, I can't count the times he touches people near him, or grabs them to pull them away from danger. He mimics other people's body languages, especially Emma's. His posture in CCRP at the start vs. His posture in the bunker with Emma are drastically different, and they reflect the people around him. In Black Friday, he touches Emma's back to support her, crouches when she does, holds her at the very end of the show. I'd argue that he struggles with a sense of personal space, honestly.

- As an add-on to the last point, he touches other people very freely, but when other people touch him, he flinches. All the touching in LDDDD have him looking disgusted, and doubly so in LIO, but it's not just that. Ted touches him by the trash cans, and he jumps and looks very uncomfortable. He's tactile, but only on his own terms.

- He's extremely expressive. He wears his emotions on his sleeve, and does not seem remotely adept at hiding them. Emma knew he had a crush on her the second they met. It's not just his words that are straightforward, it's all of him. He just doesn't hide things.

I suppose that's it for now. Honestly, if I started picking out every little thing about him, I'd be here all day. There's so much about the way he speaks, moves, and expresses himself that makes him seem autistic to me. Simply put, it's about the vibes, my dudes. He's autistic because I choose to believe he is.

[gramarye]

Sorry for seeming like an insane person for responding with all this but I saw this on my TL and had to respond: with all due respect this seems kinda disingenuous to Ryo?

Ryo is very much shown to care about Sho, the big thing about him is he is very much like.. autistic coded and not even subtly so.

You know when Asuka tells Ryo he's like a real brother to her and he instantly gets awkward and kind of shuts her down? Or how when faced with Rei who has a crush on him, he instantly goes to Asuka for advice and can’t deal with it except by being very stern (tells her to leave the Academy which even Judai of all characters considers rude and going too far)? And pretty much all of his interactions with Sho?

It’s just a bad mix, is all. Ryo is very autistic and Sho is a kid with awful anxiety and it clashes! But Ryo’s not mean, he’s this way with everyone, and it’s not at all thinly veiled that Ryo loves Sho. 

For example, his reason for holding back Power Bond from Sho is not to be mean, it’s him trying to save Sho from dueling arrogantly and losing, which is a trait they do show in GX! And he’s right, Sho would’ve lost if he had used it. Ryo’s not great at verbal communication, but there’s love behind everything he does, that’s also why when he duels Judai for the first time, he tells Asuka he’s glad Sho found a good brother because he knows he’s not really suited to be that close person for Sho as he is. It’s not a “haha Ryo is such a bad brother” funny moment, he’s genuinely glad Sho has someone close to him! 

It comes off as mean when he tells Sho to leave the Academy, but again, literally everything he does makes sense when you view it through him being autistic and not knowing how to show affection in a conventional way and in a way that matches what Sho expects from a brother. Sho has anxiety meanwhile Ryo is very direct in a “if you want to quit, just quit” way. Sho needs reassurance and Ryo isn’t really good at giving that! But he is consistently watching over Sho in season 1 in his own way and trying to guide him. 

Hell Kaiser Ryo is like, a whole depressive manic breakdown going on. He very much duels Sho in a “try and stop me” way, and again, he pushes Fubuki off when dueling him and does the same! The things he does that are considered rude to Sho are not exclusive to how he interacts with Sho, and Hell Kaiser in general is like… a nervous breakdown stemming from Ryo being the perfect student everyone expects only the best from and idolizes and what happens when he loses and when that spell is broken. Ryo has his own shit going on and trauma from not only season 2 but losing his best friend for two years before the series starts and so forth. 

It’s disingenuous to say Kaiba has trauma but tries to show his love despite personal failings but Ryo doesn’t when it’s very much explicitly the same for Ryo.

All that is to say Ryo is just autistic and loves his brother and his behaviors extend to everyone. And the great thing is their season 4 arc shows them finally understanding each other and getting along! It’s not that unusual for siblings to clash when they’re younger but get along better as they grow older! It’s two very different sibling relationships, so in that way it is apples to oranges, but it’s also similar in more ways than you seem to acknowledge. 

Who do you think is the better big brother: Seto Kaiba or Zane Truesdale?

Not “who’s the good brother” or “better person” but “who’s less worse then the other”.

See the issue with this is that Kaiba's lows are a lot lower (Death-T, the takeover incident, DSoD) but he at least displays an otherwise ongoing care and concern and regular attempts to secure Mokuba's future and well-being (self-declaring himself Mokuba's "dad," trying to rescue him from every kidnapper, entrusting him with Battle City, etc). Zane meanwhile is characterized by a consistent apathy, to the degree that he doesn't have anything to say to Shou while dying in his arms. His only real act of brotherly affection is sacrificing himself in Shou's place in the duel against Camula. He is never seen willingly spending time with Sho (he outright states he has never even been to his dorm room) and seems almost totally disengaged from any relationship with him whatsoever.

So on one hand you've got a guy who tries to be a good older brother, really tries and obviously cares about it, but is unreliable in his execution due to his own personal failings and ends up repeatedly traumatizing the kid. On the other hand you have a guy who Just Doesn't Care and has for the most part basically checked out of any mentor or caretaker role, and when he does try to give mentorly advice it mostly serves to inadvertently destroy his brother's self-esteem.

So. This feels like apples to oranges. Both of these guys sort of suck. But my gut says that Kaiba wins because he's at least putting in an effort god dammit

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

Welp initially I held back for Mack's sake, but not anymore.

@Yooniesim Bitch, leave my name out your mouth if you don't have the fucking balls to unblock me before you tag me, you fucking pussy. Imagine being on such a high horse when you don't allow those you lie about to to respond.

Let's air your dirty laundry, shall we? You fucking had the audacity to put my personal situation in your mouth as a way of showing fake sympathy that you clearly didn't fucking mean as you went on to tell Mack to drop me as a friend. Because yeah, for someone who "sympathizes with my plite" you have a real funny way of showing it by under that same breath telling people to completely isolate me. That's definitely what you should do to someone who's presently experiencing trauma. Nah bitch. You're a manipulative, gaslighting cunt. The fact that you had the audacity to put my situation in your mouth and try and hold a dick measuring contest of suffering is fucking yikes from me my guy. You don't know shit about me, you've literally never talked to me, and you don’t know my situation, so sit the fuck down and shut up. Literally, you don't have to fake caring about my problems, my guy, because quite frankly I don't give a shit about yours, and unlike you, I'm not afraid to tell it to your face. You're a gaslighting, manipulative bitch, and I genuinely feel bad for any friends or family who call you their friend because you're an awful person. Imagine being all Virgina George and shit, and telling someone who respected you, who viewed you as a friend "I don't like this person, therefor you should drop them or I'll drop you." Mack doesn't have to address me because I'm a grown ass adult, capable of making my own decisions and owning my shit. Mack isn't my mommy, she's not responsible for me. "Tex misgendered someone!" Bitch has fucking it/she/he in their bio.

Oh, but I'm misgendering people. Yall are so fucking stupid. Funny how a little bit of research can prove how much of lunatic gyaru is. The only way I could have possibly migendered them is by calling them they/them, and it's a gender neutral term, so I now care even less. "B-BUT TEX WAS ALSO ABLEIST!" By doing what? Shouting "REEEEEEEEEE!"? I said that before I even knew they were autistic. Why? Because it's also used to mock people who are triggered, as I clarified in several posts that I thought was the case. I'm also Nurodivergant myself, so like. Fuck you. Even if It was somehow ableist, which it isn't. I don't have to answer to you as to what ways I choose to fucking speak. Maybe stay in your own lane. The only other thing I can think of is me calling them a lunatic, and I mean they are. They literally think myself and Mack are the same person, and they've been bitching about me when literally anytime I've fucked with them was because they'll cry and whine about me for a fuckin week after I stop interacting with them, so I'll jab back because it's fuckin funny. Sorry yall don't have a sense of fucking humor. Maybe get one.

Speaking of~ can we just point out the fact that Yoonie couldn't be arsed to do basic fucking research or reach out to anyone in this situation? Like fucking hell. You're quick to point out the shit I do, and take anything Gyaru says seriously, but you'll ignore their unhinged tirades, spewing tin foil hat conspiracy theories about how myself and Mack are the same person, something you know damn well isn't true, something I made a post about disproving and one I've known you've seen because you commented on the fact when talking with Mack about my personal shit, you dumb fucking broad. You also believed claims of ableism from a fucking lunatic who tried to bait me into calling them an r-word and FAILED, so they had to look for something else to get me at, and like the gullible little moron you are, you bought it hook line and sinker! Won't lie! That's some funny shit! Guys, I literally made a post about how gullible the fucking Sims 4 anti paywall community was, and Yoonie is a prime example of who that post was directed at. Because yall don't do basic fucking research. You just go with it to boost your fucking egos. Literally Yoonie, if you gave a shit about half the shit you claim to give a shit about (racism, transphobia, ableism, etc.) You'd actually take the time to fact check yourself and not direct people to false allegations that makes it to where shit like that doesn't get taken seriously when it actually does happen. Call it what it really is. You don't give a shit about those who are oppressed. It's literally just an ego boost for you. I can see now why you defended Saurine's stupidity. Because you're just as guilty of it. Literally, all you needed to do was fucking message me about it and I would have had a civil conversation with you and explained the situation, but no. Instead, you didn't bother to fact check any of the stupid shit you said and then you went to bitch to Mack because I indirectly hurt your fee fees. Fucking go cry about it you baby back bitch. I've literally never seen someone so fucking spineless.

The rest of her tirade is about the Trump vote thing, and I literally couldn't care any less than I do now. It's old shit that was addressed months ago by Mack, and it's sure as hell not my problem. Plus I really don't give a shit about the political opinions of the people who voted for the man who is currently destroying our economy worse than it has been in a long fucking time. No one's better than everyone else. Yall are just as much bigoted, spineless losers with skeletons in the closet that you claim me to be. The question is who's going to be the next big sensational bigot to bitch about. It could be you next, and I honestly have to sit and laugh, because that's the shit there that is the reason why the exclusive creators will continue to use yall as fucking door matts. Yall have no priorities and literally bitch about stupid shit just to bitch.

Oh, and before anyone wants to cry to Mack about how Im a big ol meanie and she needs to disavow me. She already has. I'm blocked and she disavowed me privately. As to rather or not she decides to do it publicly is her choice, and I wouldn't have it any other way, because I'm sick and tired of having to walk on egg shells because of it back firing on her because yall seem to think people can't take responsibility for their own shit, so everyone else has to do it for them. Like fuck off with that nonsense. I'm not gonna sugar coat shit to please yall. You either like what I have to say or you don't. Unlike half this community, I don’t give a shit about my reputation. It's more stress than one realistically needs. I like speaking my mind and that's pretty much it. Don't like it, then bitch about it, or block and move on. Yoonie can go fuck themself. They want to cry and bitch about how I hurt their feefees, they can have fun with that. Considering they're an awful person, It low key gives me life. Anyways. I'm done. Originally I was going to write a doc about this and then leave the community, but nah. Fuck it. By the end of this, I'm going to be known as the community shit stirrer, and I live for it! Anyways! That offer for the Beverly Hills Mansion still stands. Sksksksksksksksk.

-Texasthegreatdestroyer mother fuckin signing off!

Oh, and P.S. If Yoonie tries to claim she never had me blocked, well uh. I'm not dumb unlike her. I grab screenshots of shit automatically. It's been this way for awhile now, as I've tried to respond to posts from mutuals only to find that that I can't because they're a reblog of hers, so I have to find the source. Also it duped screenshots in the post. Oh well.

[ghostietea]

Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

[borom1r]

For the asks you just reblogged: lawrence, eric, peter (or strahm. whichever sounds better hfmsbsns) & mallick!!!

Lawrence:

Headcanon A:  realistic — ok ok ok ive seen it come up in art n im sure fics as well every now n then but i rlly dont think Adam could talk Lawrence into going to a pride event. i think the first time he goes is for Diana. and i think its just. so big for him? seeing his daughter making friends, and winding up at the end of the day decked out in bi flag merch + compared to how he grew up and the perceptions of queer people he was exposed to. its not even like. For Him, this huge fucking wave of emotion, but moreso that his daughter has grown up so much more open and joyful than he got the chance to. she doesn't have the weight of the world on her shoulders and he couldn't be prouder or more relieved.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious — Adam is the reason Lawrence drank wood. (to clarify: Adam decided to make shakes for them both and, while making an oreo shake for Lawrence, stuck a wooden spoon into the blender while it was still on. he couldnt see any chunks of wood so he decided to just leave it be. later, while drinking, Lawrence bit down on what was Supposed to be a piece of oreo. it was instead, in fact, fucking wood. this is coming from lived experience. please know I am Lawrence in this situation.)

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends — hey do u wanna hear the worst headcanon. hey. hey. Lawrence Does Not Feel Guilty About Leaving Adam In The Bathroom <3

John indoctrinates Lawrence into a system that feeds his craving for purpose and structure and Lawrence does not think twice. I think it says very interesting things abt him VS Mandy.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. — in a perfect world Lawrence played along w/ John only long enough to get himself safely to a hospital + then showed up later and beat John to death with that torture device of a fucking prosthesis John tried to force onto him. peace and love on planet earth, baby

Eric:

Headcanon A:  realistic — idk how realistic this really is but i also dont care u will pry trans/autistic eric from my cold dead trans/autistic hands. especially the autism side of things i see soooooo much of myself in him it makes me fucking insane

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious — ok entirely based off Donnie Wahlberg himself, the man the myth the legend, Eric can sing SO WELL and has a weakness for pop music. even Jigsaw himself couldn't make the man admit it out loud but dear god. when he's alone in his car? BLASTING the tackiest 90s boyband shit imaginable

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends — Eric was raised in an abusive household. idk this has come up vaguely in other meta ive posted but that quote, "if you grew up with an angry man in your house there will always be an angry man in your house"?? yea.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. — i feel like this is literally all of my softer meta abt Eric but it makes me happy and goddamn do i love him. Eric gets pet rats as soon as he can post-IV + definitely has had multiple "I put the rat in the fridge and went to put the butter in the rat cage" moments. thankfully, this just means his rats get to ransack the cheese drawer unsupervised for a few minutes every now and then

Strahm:

Headcanon A:  realistic — he has a wedding band but is not actually married. the one (1) time he splurged on himself it was to get people to stop fucking asking why he’s not married/if he and Perez are dating/when they’re gonna make it official. there? are you happy? he bought a ring now shut the fuck up.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious — Peter Strahm: Good With Children. Literally Cannot Comprehend This Fact. Diana has declared him like, her 6th favorite person (after Larry and Allison and Adam + Allison's partner(s)— I love Allison/Tracy/Rigg so much so yknow) and he has No Goddamn Clue Why. lord help this emotionally stunted, dense fucking man.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends — he doesn't replace things unless they are near unusable. why waste the money? he doesn't deem himself worthy of comfort.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. — Perez buys him gag gifts a lot. or like, not GAG gifts but shit that’s definitely making fun of him a little. by far his favorite is a trucker hat that says “retired don’t ask me to do a damn thing” he wears it regularly when he’s not working

Mallick:

Headcanon A:  realistic — he used to bite his nails sometimes bad enough they’d bleed. reeeeegularly had bandaids on his fingers for a long fucking chunk of his life

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious — FURRY FURRY FURRY FURRY FURRY FURRY im a Mallick Scott sparkledog fursona truther

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends — Brit is dead and that’s the only reason Mallick sits and listens to Bobby’s bullshit. he lost the one person keeping him going. he lost himself.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. — REAL MALLICK SCOTT ARKIN OBRIEN COUSINS HOURS. I FEEL LIKE CHARLIE FUCKING PEPE-SILVIAING IT UP OUT HERE BUT THEY ARE COUSINS AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY FUCKING MIND

[ablednt]

(Don't reblog)

I do think generally singlets who follow me probably think that I'm more approachable than blogs meant to represent a whole system. They can, after all, ignore the pluralposting when it isn't funny and pretend I'm singlet. I don't seem to harbor any resentment I don't seem to want to make many waves and my only crime is that I am very optimistic and enthusiastic when I suggest everyone question whether or not they could be plural.

The truth is that I'm actually very bitter. This blog exists because in 2019 a singlet spent months abusing the shit out of me. He told me that I was delusional and/or faking and refused to speak to my headmates. He mocked me over my syskid saying i was definitely just kinning her and pretending she was real. Whenever I didn't do/give what he asked of me he would bring up topics of CSA/pedophilia to trigger me because I'd been open about my trauma before. He tried to paint me as an abuser for helping two of my friends discover their own systems, acting like I was stealing his friends away and turning them against him just because they mentioned being plural occasionally. Then, when he could no longer get anything else out of me, he cut me off and pressured most of the friendgroup to do the same and I lost contact with a lot of people I really cared about.

For a long time literally only two other people (systems) knew about my system and I shut down and became a hermit for a while. It was really lonely and I know these times were tough on all of us.

When I made this blog I pretended to be singlet and I went on for around a year without mentioning it because I knew once I did that would be my main identity. I knew that as soon as I mentioned being plural what meant to be a small chord of connection between me and the autistic community would be damaged if not severed completely.

Eventually I started carefully including that I was plural but I spent months coming up with aliases and hashing out what was acceptable so I could be palatable to singlets whilst also protecting my safety. Things have certainly got a lot better and a lot safer for me and I've made a lot of really cool friends, I'm not isolated anymore and I've been a lot braver lately as a result.

But y'all have to know that you (as a group) abused me. That I had my humanity stripped from me that I was mistreated really badly, so badly that I struggle to admit that it happened, because I still feel ashamed like it was my fault or worry that if my abuser came back singlets would side with him. You need to realize how much of a power imbalance exists and consider actually protecting your plural friends, accepting their anger, being willing to stand up for them to other singlets, etc.

(Don't reblog)

[solarianvoidthearoace]

Excerpt#1 of my Gerry Keay/OC Magical/Mythical CollegeAU

CN/TW: Social Anxiety, discussion of mental illness, discussion of past trauma, awkward coming-out, miscommunication, misunderstanding, it/its pronouns for Michael Shelley, he/they pronouns for Gerry, they/them pronouns for OC, narrative mention of Mary Keay, mention of alcohol, mythical people living in a parallel society and amongst humans, original character talking German (two sentences; extrapolable from context)

“But sure, you're seeming nice so no problem.” Heaving a relieved sigh, Gerry followed them into the room. The two taking seats in the lower rows of the auditorium, seeing as Gerry’s companion wore glasses. Unpacking their notepads, pencil cases, and Gerry setting up his laptop. There was still time until the lecture was set to begin, so Gerry turned to his table neighbour,

“Your look sends very mixed signals, if I’m being honest.” They grinned, propping their chin up on the back of their hand,

“All the right ones, apparently”, demonstratively looking Gerry up and down. Making them look away, clearing his throat. They laughed,

“Not flirting, don’t worry. I’m Yanis.” He tried masking his relieved sigh best they could,

“Gerry.”

They did pay attention to the lecture, still, Gerry found out a bit more about his dyed ginger saviour. Yanis was in the same semester and some of the same courses has he was. Though they didn’t study for the same engineering degree, there was a decent overlap. Some courses Gerry needed for his software engineering degree much the same as Yanis needed for mechanical engineering. They easily offered they could study together. Yanis having been at the campus since they started their degree and knowing the ins and outs of it.

Having easily found common ground in their discipline of study, as well as their taste in music, Gerry had no qualms following Yanis to the canteen for a late breakfast. They kept chatting, switching back and forth between languages.

“So what if you’re 31?”, Yanis shrugged,

“I also had to take care of my health first. Plus we’re both neurodivergent so starting a college degree at all is more stressful to us. It’s not like anyone is rushing you.” Gerry rolled their eyes,

“Still. Being autist and depressed doesn’t exactly help my case here. That’s ignoring the ADHD and trauma.” A painted-black nail flicked his nose,

“Nope. None of that, you’re not demanded to keep pace with anyone and if your personal reasons bared you from even looking into college education until you were 25, then that’s how it is. Besides, it’s eight years between us. Don’t be dramatic.” Gerry tried to glare but they simply raised a brow in challenge, shutting him right up. While they weren’t in the same major, they compared their course schedules some more and found they were in the same philosophy and ethics courses for their minor. Gerry having decided to not put that on hold and taking the according courses in his semester in Germany as well.

By the end of the day, Gerry felt they had a better handle on his new college-everyday and possibly even made a friend. Which raised a few problems all of its own.

While Gerry had no problem with Yanis finding out what concretely had delayed his life so much, they had another problem. Gerry wasn’t human. And neither was their best friend Michael, for the matter, it being a changeling and his nature chaotic to a fault. Gerry themself was, depending on what one believed, involuntarily threatening to humans.

His mother having been a hulder, a mythical being almost looking like a human. The feature most telling of their mythical nature, though, the fact that they look hollow if seen in the right light, from the right angle. Akin to forest spirits, hulders were drawn by their nature to lure townspeople into forests. Not inherently malicious, of course, their blonde hair and fair skin drawing mostly men in.

With an established mythical society existing in parallel to the non-magical human society, there were laws and proper paperwork surrounding magical and mythical people’s “otherness” and characteristics.

Characteristics which were the life-long obsession of his mother. Her trying to create offspring of her own that would be inherently dangerous to humans and as malicious as she had been. Gerry hated thinking about his father almost more than he hated his mother. But matter of fact was, being half-hulder, and his father having been a river-nix, Gerry was… alluring. Drawing people in without them realising as much if he acted the wrong kind of way towards them. Gerry forced to be constantly mindful of their nature, as to not accidentally harm someone.

Which was why they usually didn’t make friends. Having to make sure the person wasn’t human as to not endanger them.

And yet, they got stuck with Yanis. Gerry was glad it was autumn, the chance of light hitting him in just the wrong way dwindling. But he couldn’t help their worried unease, recognising Yanis and them grew closer.

It wasn’t that Gerry was set out to avoid Yanis, having taken them up on an invitation to lunch and even to revise notes and study together. But Gerry had a bad feeling about it, especially when he grew to see them as a friend. They did try bringing some more distance between them, an attempt so he didn’t need to outright evade Yanis. Declining their invitations more often than not, excusing themself and finding reasons to convince himself it was the right thing to do.

Having forced himself to take a step back, Gerry caught themself looking for them. It had started so he could more easily get around them, trying to deter Yanis from inviting him in the first place so they didn’t have to turn them down as often.

Gerry wasn’t oblivious to their whole demeanour getting muted once it had clicked that he was trying to push distance between them. But seeing Yanis less cheery and energetic made Gerry realise some things about them.

Yanis wasn’t much smaller than him, a few inches at most. But they carried themself in a way that made them stand out. Gerry had learned Yanis had chronic pain, making it hard on them to be on their feet the entire day. Rarely, they wore leg braces, limiting their range of motion further than their chronic pain already did. Still, Yanis was confident and most days glossing over their frequent aches with relative ease. It had been more apparent when they hadn’t been upset but the way Yanis walked was… with purpose. Every step seeming deliberate and not to be questioned. While that cocksure confident way to carry oneself wasn’t all that remarkable, it stood out in Yanis.

And Gerry needed a good long while to figure out why.

Michael had badgered them to get out and socialise. It was the last week before winter break and there was a social happening of the engineering faculty. Gerry had put on a nice button shirt and proper slacks before touching up their black nail polish and putting on a hint of eyeliner.

Yes, he was cautious not to accidentally draw humans in but that didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to tart themself up. Gerry hadn’t even really planned to talk to anyone, if they were being honest. Just mingling among people and feeling alone in the crowd instead of feeling alone by himself.

That was, until aquamarine and black varnished fingers held a bottle in his field of vision. Gerry couldn’t fight down his smile before closing their eyes. Shaking his head, they just let it happen. Let that gentle affection wash over him for just a moment.

“Thought you might be here tonight”, Yanis held out the drink,

“The crown cap is still sealed.” Gerry pulled a face as to not smile despite themself. He sighed,

“You’re quite persistent.” Yanis raised a rather expressive brow at him,

“If you honestly wanted me gone, you would have told me. So I dare say you don’t want me completely gone. It’s nice having someone who can keep up with my ADHD jumping through topics, plus being able to overlook what allistics call me weird for.” When he finally took the bottle, their smile turned from friendly to bright. He bit his lip, trying to hide it behind the bottle. Yanis offered them their bottle opener.

“Got me there. And yes, having a neurodivergent friend is quite unwinding”, he admitted. Opening the drink, Gerry took them in. A proper once-over. They weren’t primped either but certainly had put thought into their casual suit not clashing with their once-again stark-red hair. Gerry having seen Yanis cycling through vibrant red washing out to ginger, before they went back to dyed poppy-red.

Gerry felt admittedly awkward standing together with them. Very much aware of how they had avoided them after all. Nursing their drinks, they kept quiet. Even though Gerry noticed Yanis also taking in his appearance. After some time he sighed,

“I’m sorry. It’s…”, they broke off, shaking his head.

“Complicated?”, Yanis offered with a huff,

“That’s one way to put it, I suppose.” Gerry raised a brow at them. Before he could ask what they were referring to, though, Yanis turned to him properly.

“Did you notice there’s a dance floor?” They blinked in surprise,

“Uh… yea, I did.” Yanis snorted, taking his empty bottle from them and depositing the glass on a nearby tray for used tableware.

“So, can you dance?”, Yanis’ smile inviting and warm,

“And would you dance with me?” Gerry froze, biting his lip and looking away. He knew they shouldn’t. They were very much aware that Yanis needed to keep their distance from him. He swallowed thickly,

“I can dance but…” Yanis hummed expectantly.

“We shouldn’t, okay? I don’t want to elaborate on that.” Yanis’ face cleared as they gave a soft ‘oh’ of understanding.

When Gerry looked back at them, Yanis was looking at them. The expression in their eyes making him pause. A glint of intent, resolve. But their overall demeanour had changed as well. That deliberate way they carried themself was back, not in a way that intimidated. But even standing next to Gerry, he could see they were moving with an intent, with a conscious focus on the way they moved to get there.

Yanis licked their lip,

“I will respect your turndown. But I would like you to know that I know.” Gerry froze. Raising a brow, Yanis’ tone turned gentler still,

“And I really don’t want to push you towards anything. Or put you up to anything.” Gerry felt his amusement bubbling up when Yanis said as much. The idea of someone human inciting a mythical or magical person to anything at all seemed a bit laughable.

“I’m aromantic myself”, they shrugged,

“And asexual.” Their smile turning into a bit of a smirk, cheeky just around the edges. Gerry’s face cleared in surprise, his jaw dropping a bit. His amusement freezing over with a faint ‘oh’ of their own. Before he grimaced,

“I am aromantic, yes, but that’s not it. I’m sorry, you’re a really nice person. You have been nothing but friendly and a reliable friend at that. It’s…”

Yanis closed their eyes, brows raised, before they snorted.

“Let me stop you right there. I know you have been avoiding me, I have respected that you were avoiding me”, they looked him in the eye,

“If you want me gone, I won’t bother you again. I’ll be out of your hair and we don’t have to even talk again.” Gerry felt his face fall, nervously biting his lip once more. Yanis wasn’t done just yet,

“But if you would like to, I want to get to know you”, a short jerk of their head,

“Properly get to know you. I think both our first gut feeling about the other was that we could become pretty great friends. And that’s all I’m suggesting.” Gerry needed a moment to process that. To let sink in that Yanis was really just curious about his friendship. Something they had so far always had to be wary around. At least until Gerry knew whether the person in question was human. Yanis huffed,

“While you process whether to give us a try, I’ll get us new drinks.” Gerry blinked, then nodded when they realised Yanis was waiting on his okay. Another one of those bright friendly smiles before they turned away. Gerry didn’t know what it was but they followed Yanis with his eyes. Their red hair easy to make out even in the crowd.

Just as he was about to turn away, he noticed something. Yanis was a very body-aware person, conscious and deliberate to a point it might seem standoffish. They had explained how it related to their chronic back and joint pain. But as Gerry watched them move through the crowd, he realised just how easily they moved around people. Almost light-footed, turning out of others’ ways with ease.

Despite them being almost as tall as him, and dressed in dark clothes, something about Yanis’ way through the crowd seemed almost airy.

It didn’t fit. It should have clashed immensely.

As they moved back towards him, Gerry realised what had been so weird about Yanis’ bodily confidence. They didn’t seem to make way for themself. Not at all. While that sureness was clear as day, written all over their most minute movements.

The way Yanis moved was the harsh opposite. Gerry was tempted to call it floaty. He knew they could make a way for themself through people, had witnessed as much a few times in the bustle of the campus. But how Yanis moved around people seemed just as natural.

Not even the slightest touch between them and the people around, as if some shimmer was keeping Yanis from being touchable. Kept up their airy strut, as if they weren’t turning and stepping around people.

The contrast did not make sense. And seeing as Gerry’s best friend was a changeling, well, if things didn’t make sense, it was likely some faerie or other was involved.

Which, on the one hand, would mean Yanis was safe from his own magic. But on the other hand it would raise so many more questions around them. About them.

Gerry couldn’t help his sceptical look when Yanis returned. Frowning at them, unsure whether to trust what they had seen.

“You're looking at me like that again”, Yanis raised a brow at him. Gerry gnawed his bottom lip,

“You’re a bit of a mystery, if I’m being honest.” But took the offered bottle none the less. Yanis’ warm smile returned,

“Well, I suppose it’s on you whether you care to figure me out, then.” An easy shrug as they raised a brow at him.

Gerry didn’t reply. They had not clue what to reply to that. And what they wanted to reply in the first place. Yanis didn’t push him. Much to Gerry’s relief. They fell back into companionable silence, emptying their drinks. When the bottles were empty, Yanis looked at him for a long moment. Searching their face. Yanis’ expression fell a bit, their smile not reaching their eyes anymore. Still, they only grimaced a little before sighing,

“So… have a good night, then.” Taking his empty bottle to take it away with their own, Yanis turned to go. Looking back over their shoulder,

“I guess I’ll see you around.” And with a final shrug and smile, they were gone in the crowd. Gerry stared after them before he closed their eyes and sighed. Silently cursing themself, he turned away from the crowd as well. One hand coming up to cover his mouth. Yanis had been right, if Gerry really had wanted them gone, he could have told them as much anytime. If they had wanted Yanis gone, he could have told them as much when they literally offered to leave him alone.

But Gerry didn’t. Because Gerry hadn’t and still didn’t want them gone.

They spent another few minutes turning things over in his head. What he had to consider if they really tried building a genuine friendship with Yanis.

Once he started looking around for them, Gerry regretted their delay. Not able to make out the red shock of hair, Gerry pulled out his phone. If he couldn’t find Yanis, he might at least tell Michael about his hunch. They had been friends for forever but Gerry still wasn’t all that confident to make out people that were connected to faerie. It was his best idea at the moment but he might just as well be off. Asking Michael for his opinion was a solid thing, also maybe it could distract Gerry if they really didn’t find Yanis again. Which meant Gerry would have to approach them around their next shared lecture.

Pocketing their phone, he looked up and around once more.

And huffed in amusement, Yanis standing almost directly in his line of vision. Albeit turned from them and leaning with their chin propped up over a bar table. Despite having avoided them, Gerry knew their usual posture well enough to see Yanis had to adjust to their pain at the moment. Holding their weight cautiously and reducing tension in their back and legs. Coincidentally, Yanis was looking at their own phone when Gerry came closer. And if he wasn’t mistaken, they were looking at the recent chat chronic between the two of them. The small frown pulling down the corner of Yanis’ lips gave Gerry a weird boost of confidence.

As he stepped up to the table, Yanis looked up.

“Du schon wieder”, they raised a brow but their frown had vanished. The quip good natured and accompanied by a small smile. Gerry couldn’t help smiling themself. With a slight head-tilt, he shrugged,

“Well, I can admit that I went looking for you.” Feeling a blush creep up on him, they tried fighting down his smile. Yanis turned to them fully, still with one elbow leaning on the table, they raised a brow. Giving Gerry a once-over. A short jerk of their head,

“Okay, und?” Gerry took a deep breath,

“You wanted to dance with me”, he shrugged,

“How about that invitation?” Yanis’ smile brightened a bit, stepping away from the table and coming closer. They offered him a hand,

“Your lead or mine?”