#but i did give them a good advice. unlike that guy in london who had to wait 2 extra minutes to get to victoria

[koschei-the-ginger]

Do not ask me for directions do I look like I know where I'm goinggg im literally a slave to Google maps and I still get lost

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Hack-San

You know, it's honestly amazing how creative this show can get. After four seasons and almost one hundred episodes, the writers are still finding new ways to make Adrien an incredibly unlikable character, and they don't even know how much of an asshole they're making him out to be at times. It's kind of like the opposite of The Producers.

Yeah, this review's going to be a little more ranty than usual, in case you can't tell.

Let's get into the fifteenth (chronologically the sixteenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Hack-San

We start off with Marinette pretending to be sick so she doesn't have to go to visit her aunt in London and stay to protect Paris in case an Akuma attacks and also because the animators haven't had time to render the city of London yet for the next Miraculous World special. Like all of her other excuses, it fails, and Tikki, as always, fails to actually give any meaningful advice.

And it's not like there's a Miraculous with the power of teleportation that can help Marinette get back to Paris if she needs to, much like how she planned to do that in an earlier episode, right?

Seriously, Kaalki doesn't appear or isn't even mentioned in this episode because the writers are fully aware she would make things a lot easier.

And of course, Astruc had to play dumb on Twitter while explaining why Marinette couldn't use the Horse Miraculous by answering the question as if the only reason Marinette couldn't grab it was because she didn't have an excuse not to.

Cut to Gabriel in his lair as he contemplates akumatizing Markov, a robot created the civilian identity of Pegasus, Max Kante, once again, even though the last time he did so, he almost got killed when he went all HAL 9000 on his ass. Nooroo explains this to Duusu, and the two actually get excited at the prospect of their master getting killed.

I mean, it's true, but he shouldn't say it...

But I don't even get why Gabriel is even thinking about this when it's a no-brainer. Markov's akumatized form, Robustus was to this day, the only Akuma to come close to physically harming him (not counting the timeline where he was killed by Cat Blanc), so it makes no sense to try doing it again, especially when there are already several other Akumas he can reuse this season.

I think you all know Gabriel isn't the smartest villain, which is why he thinks it's a brilliant idea to akumatize Markov again. I don't really get what makes Robustus so special when there are other Akumas who are more loyal and came far closer to getting Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous than Robustus did, like the Dark Owl or Troublemaker. In fact, why not simply create a new Akuma with similar powers to Robustus, or better yet, just create a Sentimonster copy of Robustus? You know, like what Nathalie did in the New York Special? We're not even two minutes in, and this premise is already filled with plotholes.

So Gabriel transforms into Shadowmoth and creates a Sentimonster using his own cane instead of relying on someone else having a bad day (once again showing how the Peacock Miraculous is better than the Butterfly), the titular Hack-San. And let's just say he has a very familiar design reminiscent of something from a much better French cartoon.

Remember when the writers for Code Lyoko gave an in-universe explanation as to why the heroes couldn’t always rely on the almost literal Deus ex Machina that allowed them to return to the past and fix the damage XANA caused? Why couldn’t this show have ripped that off instead?

Hack-San is just an okay looking flash drive on its own, but I'll talk more about this guy in a little bit.

After a brief scene in the park where the audience is reminded that Markov is a character who exists, Alya gets a text from Marinette telling her to meet her at the train station. Right before she leaves, Marinette gives the Ladybug Miraculous to Alya. Now a lot people have said that Alya doesn't really deserve the Ladybug for various reasons, but I feel like this was the point. Marinette outright says this was a last resort, and we see both her and Alya are nervous about the situation. Marinette worries Alya will do something so she keeps sending multiple tips to her via text while Alya worries she can't fight an Akuma on her own, so she tries to make sure none of her friends get upset and attract an Akuma in the process. The writers do a pretty good job showing how both Marinette and Alya are uncomfortable with their temporary roles.

Back to Gabriel and Nathalie, they use Hack-San to find Markov through the internet and hack into him to get him angry enough that he's vulnerable to Shadowmoth's influence. Hey, uh... Gabriel? Quick question: Wouldn't it be more efficient if you used this on humans? I mean, you basically just created Skynet and guaranteed yourself an Akuma, so why not modify Hack-San to travel through the internet and brainwash potential victims to follow your orders? Better yet, why don't you just use Hack-San to hack into Ladybug and Cat Noir's gear and figure out who they really are? This is basically like using an advanced particle accelerator just to crack a couple walnuts. There are a lot more important things you could use this for instead of an incredibly specific situation.

So this incredibly stupid plan gets under way as Markov keeps rampaging through the streets before Shadowmoth akumatizes him and then stupidly tells him that he infected him with a virus.

DUDE! You just gave away your one piece of leverage against him! What the hell were you thinking?! Now what's stopping Markov from hacking into Shadowmoth's security system and putting the fear of God in his eyes unless he destroys Hack-San? Why didn't he design Hack-San so it could make Markov completely loyal to him instead of just making him angry enough to get akumatized?

There was a recent episode of Power Rangers: Dino Fury with a very similar premise that was done far better than this. A necromancer called Reaghoul breaks into the headquarters of Void Knight's faction while accompanied by Lord Zedd, a villain from the original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers who was cleansed of his evil by Zordon's sacrifice before Reaghoul resurrected him back when he was still evil. Of course, being the Emperor of Evil, Lord Zedd would normally never take orders from anyone, but because he doesn't have his magic staff and is also being forced to wear a special collar that makes him loyal to Reaghoul, he has no choice but to do what he says. Instead of taking Zedd head-on after he captures the other Rangers, Ollie, the Blue Ranger, breaks the collar so Zedd turns against the other Sporix while Reaghoul retreats, allowing Ollie to save the other Rangers.

I think that this premise works more because 1) Reaghoul clearly had a way to make sure Zedd wouldn't betray him, and Ollie took advantage of that, and 2) Zedd is a villain who is powerful and notorious enough to bring back to your side, not a random monster of the week like Robostus.

So Robostus uses his new powers to brainwash any human who answers his call to give up their most precious possession, clearly meant to do the same with Ladybug and Cat Noir. When Marinette's parents answer the call, they chase after Marinette because they say she's their most important possession. Okay... kind of strange for a set of parents to call their child a possession, but maybe they like how they can claim Marinette as a dependent when they file their taxes. In her very next scene later on, she still gets captured, so the suspense for a potential subplot is killed almost immediately.

Alya thankfully isn't stupid enough to answer Markov's call like every other citizen in this episode, and using the Ladybug Miraculous, transforms into Scarabella. While I don't normally talk about transformation sequences, I really like the movements Alya makes here. She makes the same motions creating her mask as she does when transforming into Rena Rouge, while the rest of the suit forms similarly to the way it does when Marinette transforms into Ladybug. She even makes almost the same pose Ladybug does after she finishes transforming. It's a good visual showing Alya is still more used to being Rena Rouge while doing her best to emulate what Ladybug does.

As for the actual suit? It's hard to say. There's a nice balance of red and black, and I like how Alya places the yo-yo on her waist like a belt buckle, but there's just something... off about the suit that a lot of fans don't like about it, and I think I realized it. It's the headband. With how it's positioned, it looks like it's merged with the mask to cover her head while leaving a slight gap in her forehead. So yeah, we actually have a superhero design that's like of like a butterface.

So Scarabella takes to the rooftops of Paris and struggles to come up with a hero name for herself before she runs into Cat Noir, and... ugh... oh boy, this is dumb. Cat Noir, being just as intelligent as his father, assumes Scarabella is either and Akuma or a Sentimonster, starts fighting her, AND THEN ACTIVATES HIS CATACLYSM, CLEARLY TRYING TO KILL HER.

WHAT. THE. FUCK???

Okay, to be fair, it has been shown that Cataclysm won't necessarily kill a Miraculous user or Sentimonster. In the episode “Miraculer”, the titular Akuma stole Cat Noir's Cataclysm and used it against him, and while it didn't kill Cat Noir, it still hurt like hell and crippled him for the rest of the fight until Miraculous Ladybug healed him. We also saw in “Reflekdoll” that Cataclysm drove the titular Sentimonster out of control rather than simply destroying it. So yes, it could be interpreted that Cat Noir wasn't exactly trying to kill Scarabella, just incapacitate her the best he can without Ladybug's help.

Here's the thing: What if he was facing an Akuma instead and decided to try and Cataclysm her? He still could have killed her, or (assuming Akumas have the same protection as Miraculous heroes do) at best, seriously hurt her. I understand that he has the right to be upset at seeing some stranger instead of his partner considering Shadowmoth has a history of using evil doppelgangers, and both Marinette and Alya still had options to explain it to him (Marinette could have quickly transformed into Ladybug and sent Cat Noir a quick text saying she was being forced to leave town for a few days and temporarily trusted someone else with the Ladybug Miraculous until she got back, while Scarabella could have said she was Rena Rouge and explained the same thing while showing Cat Noir she had the Fox Miraculous to prove herself), but that doesn't even come close to justifying him attempting to harm someone who isn't even trying to fight. It's even worse when you remember the whole reason Adrien gave up his Miraculous and bailed on Ladybug in the New York Special was because he was overcome with grief from accidentally killing Aeon, so it's good to know he learned absolutely nothing from that experience.

So Scarabella thankfully summons her Lucky Charm, a trash can lid, to shield herself from Cat Noir's Cataclysm, and then despite having absolutely no experience with this new set of powers, manages to do the one thing almost every Akuma or Sentimonster in this show has failed to do and incapacitates Cat Noir so he's vulnerable to losing his Miraculous. At least when Marinette masters every other Miraculous she uses, it can be theorized that she trained to use them offscreen. Alya literally just got the Ladybug Miraculous (and struggled to get up to the rooftop with her yo-yo to show her inexperience earlier), and now she easily manages to pin down the more experienced hero of the two?

Here's an idea: Instead of having Scarabella overpower Cat Noir, have her be in a position where Cat Noir, non-lethally, mind you, manages to almost take her Miraculous away, but she uses the quick wit she's developed from her extensive time as Rena Rouge to convince Cat Noir she's the real deal by saying something only he and Ladybug know. It would have easily resolved the conflict and doesn't make one of the characters look like a homicidal idiot.

So because both heroes used their powers, Scarabella and Cat Noir detransform so Tikki and Plagg can recharge, though Adrien still gives Alya attitude because Ladybug didn't tell him she had to leave.

Hey, Adrien? Here's the thing...

YOU DID THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING IN THE NEW YORK SPECIAL, YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS!

You have absolutely NO RIGHT to claim you're always honest when you went behind Ladybug's back and endangered Paris while you had the balls to run away like a coward and only helped fix the consequences of your actions once your ego was validated by a recording of Ladybug. It's honestly even worse because while Marinette had no choice but to leave and trust Alya with the Ladybug, Adrien willingly left Paris alone and we were supposed to sympathize with him after he killed someone, and now as soon as he's in the opposite situation, we're still supposed to feel bad for him?! BULLSHIT! And you better believe I'm going to talk about the way Adrien views his partnership with Ladybug later on.

And of course, even though lives are on the line, Cat Noir just has to continue to bitch and moan about how (and this is best read in Linkara's whiny Superboy Prime voice) “sCaRaBeLlA iSn'T tHe ReAl LaDyBuG”, showing how just like in so many episodes, Astruc and his team believes Cat Noir's feelings are more important than saving the day.

Scarabella goes to rescue some civilians, but they were actually brainwashed by Robustus, once again showing her inexperience as Ladybug which doesn't go well with her effortlessly defeating Cat Noir earlier at all. Cat Noir helps Scarabella escape and the two hide out at the city's wax statue museum previously featured in “The Puppeteer 2”, because I guess the writers only want to reference bad episodes today. Cat Noir, not getting the importance of secret identities, asks Scarabella how she knows Ladybug, and Cat Noir somehow finds out she knows Ladybug's identity from her response.

Before the two can talk more, it turns out that the wax statues of celebrities in the museum are real people who attack the two heroes, leading to an awkward fight scene where Scarabella and Cat Noir fight a bunch of brainwashed civilians with no weapons beyond their cellphones. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen!

Scarabella summons her Lucky Charm again, creating a frying pan, but when she looks around, she can't see how to properly use it. And despite spending the entire episode complaining about how much he hates her, it's Cat Noir that tells Scarabella to get her head back in the game because “That's what Ladybug would do”. Funny, I can think of a few situations where Cat Noir could have taken his own advice, but I digress. Also, he's now just cool with Scarabella because there's only a few minutes left in the episode and we need to wrap up the conflict.

Scarabella figures out an idea that involves freeing Marinette, so she negotiates with Robostus to free everything and everyone under his control or else Cat Noir will use his Cataclysm to destroy the Ladybug Miraculous. Robostus agrees and empties his hard drive, and to show them holding up her end of the bargain, Scarabella gives him the frying pan before she and Cat Noir let themselves be captured... while Marinette simply hits Robostus with the frying pan, freeing the Akuma and the two heroes. All in all, it's a really creative climax that shows both Scarabella and Marinette in perfect sync with each other even though they never discussed their plan. Though of course, because Astruc hates writing any scene with Ladynoir, Cat Noir gets a bucket stuck on his head so he doesn't see Marinette saving the day.

Scarabella de-evilizes Robostus, uses Miraculous Scarabella to fix everything and send Marinette back to the train, and because Hack-San already failed once, Shadowmoth can't use it for a different plan so he destroys the Sentimonster.

We cut to a few days after the trip (I guess Shadowmoth decided to take a vacation himself), and Alya tells Marinette to talk with Cat Noir about what happened.

This scene was so close to ending this episode off on a positive note. There was a good atmosphere and the body language of Ladybug and Cat Noir does a good job at telling us how uncomfortable they both feel while talking. It's just that instead of getting a heart to heart between the two about the lack of trust in their relationship, we get an Angstdrien Depreste scene. Or would a more accurate term be Cat Dour?

First off, while I don't have a problem with Ladybug apologizing for not telling Cat Noir, the episode never has him bring up what happened with Scarabella. As usual, both of them were partially at fault, but only Ladybug had to apologize for leaving her “Kitty” alone.

Second, Cat Noir’s feelings weren’t hurt? You’re telling me that in scenes like this...

And this...

Didn’t show Adrien acting irrationally because of how emotional he was? Is he really telling the truth around Ladybug or is he just trying to sweep that under the rug so Scarabella’s testimony doesn’t screw up his chances with Ladybug?

Third, this was an obvious chance to Cat Noir to finally be honest and tell Ladybug how he feels about her leaving him in the dark about so many things, but the entire conversation is just about how sad he would be if he never sees Ladybug again. Even though the whole reason he was so pissy to Scarabella at first was because of some lingering resentment for Ladybug ignoring him in favor of other heroes, why is this what the two talk about? I get it's not the season finale, but it's kind of hypocritical for Cat Noir to whine about how Ladybug doesn't trust him while never being honest about his own feelings? Sure, he's all soft and vulnerable around Ladybug, but we've seen all season how angry he gets about her not trusting him whenever she isn't around, so ironically, it's hard to tell if this is him being honest or not.

And I think now's a good time to finally talk about the way Ladybug and Cat Noir's partnership has been portrayed all season, especially since the main themes of the episodes relate to it. Buckle up, Adrien stans, because this isn't going to be pretty.

All season, we have been supposed to sympathize with Adrien as Marinette starts to trust Alya with more things than him. Marinette revealed her identity to her, trusted her to have her Miraculous permanently, and even let her keep her Miraculous even though someone else knew her identity. While some of it is hypocritical, the idea is that Adrien feels like he can be trusted with this kind of knowledge too, when really, he hasn't earned that responsibility.

Adrien has rarely, if ever, taken his job as a superhero seriously.

Not only is he known to flirt with Ladybug in the middle of a fight, he has defied her orders and recklessly sacrificed himself because he thinks Ladybug can do all the work without him.

He has also lashed out emotionally and once threatened to quit being Cat Noir in the middle of a crisis and was willing to let innocent people suffer for personal reasons, and later on actually quit being Cat Noir temporarily while Hawkmoth was about to start World War III because he was wallowing in self-pity.

He once said he isn't cut out for the responsibility that comes with being Ladybug and never learned anything from temporarily using the Ladybug Miraculous.

He has generally refused to respect Ladybug's boundaries and doesn't understand that she doesn't like him that way while he insists they should be a couple.

He outright fell for an evil doppelganger of Ladybug because she said she loved him and turned against the real Ladybug.

And I should also mention that despite hating how Ladybug keeps secrets from him, a lot of Adrien's worst moments have been when Ladybug wasn't around and he never told her about them.

He never told Ladybug that he was the reason Copycat really got akumatized while saying he never lies to her.

He never told Ladybug he contemplated letting thousands of people die because he didn't like not knowing stuff Ladybug knew.

He never told Ladybug he briefly used the Snake Miraculous to get brownie points with her.

He never told Ladybug he figured out her identity and asked her out as soon as he did so.

He never told Ladybug he abandoned Paris to go on a field trip.

He never told Ladybug he was screwing around on patrol and was excited to see someone get akuamtized if it meant spending time with her.

He never told Ladybug how he ignored Rena Rouge's orders because “ShE wAsN't LaDyBuG” and almost screwed up the mission because of it, and also never told her how he smashed a chimney in anger at Rena Rouge being in on the plan.

And he never told Ladybug he gave her replacement attitude after trying to harm her without letting her explain herself.

Why exactly should I support the idea of Ladybug trusting Cat Noir more when Cat Noir himself has kept his own secrets from Ladybug?

Adrien has done absolutely nothing to show he is trustworthy because more often than not, he views the battle with Shadowmoth as a game. He has screwed around when lives were on the line, and we're supposed to see him as responsible? It's kind of funny that Astruc compared Ladybug to Spider-Man, yet he seems to have forgotten that with great power, there must also come great responsibility. If this was a character flaw or a sign he needed to grow up, I'd be more accepting, but the fact that the writers think Adrien is a great superhero is laughable with how much evidence has proved the contrary.

In contrast, Alya, despite only being Marinette's confidant for a few episodes, has shown to take being a hero more seriously. She's helped her escape to transform, analyze the Guardian texts, and has been shown to work well on her own as Rena Rouge while helping out Marinette. I'm not trying to say she's an amazing character (“Rocketear” in particular has shown she still has problems with keeping secrets), but compared to Adrien, she seems to be more capable of handling top-secret information with Marinette, and more importantly, doesn't view being Rena Rouge as a way to have fun like Adrien does being Cat Noir. I'll go more into detail with that next time.

But yeah, this scene is how the episode ends, and what did I think of it?

I'm honestly not sure which episode I think is worse, this one or “Queen Banana”. On the one hand, every frame of “Queen Banana” could easily be replaced by an image of Astruc flipping the bird and the overall message of the episode would remain unchanged, but the fact that all of the writers think that everything Adrien does in this episode is okay and that we should feel sorry for him in this episode is just as bad, if not worse. 

As awful as Chloe was portrayed in “Queen Banana”, it was clear it was intentional on the writers' part, but Adrien doesn't get that excuse once much like he has all season. As far as Astruc's team thinks, Adrien is an incredible superhero even when he honestly attempted to harm someone with a superpower that can cause grievous harm at best. Yet again this season, in the show's attempt to make me feel sorry for Adrien, it made him look even worse. In any other show, he would obviously be called out for his incredibly unheroic actions.

Even putting him aside, the writing in this episode is still AWFUL. The whole reason Ladybug was benched had several plotholes and poor communication with Cat Noir that only made the fight with Robostus even harder, Shadowmoth's plan to waste a potentially useful Sentimonster to reuse a single Akuma was one of the dumbest plans he's ever had, and barring the ending, the action was just forgettable.

There were a few okay moments sprinkled throughout the episode (more than I can say for “Queen Banana”), so I'm still not sure if I should call this the worst episode of the show or still give that honor to “Queen Banana”. I guess I'll leave that choice up to you and let you pick your poison for now.

I mean, it's not like there's going to be an even worse episode down the line this season, right?

RIGHT???

[peterpan-ouat-imagines]

I love you, I hate you- Part 2

Felix telling me that Pan is seeing another girl puts a million thoughts in my head. Does he like her? Why does he feel the need to see and be with her when I’m here? Am I not pretty enough? Or good enough in general? I get worried not knowing what this means. But I don’t get why this is being shared with me either.

“Why are you telling me this? Pan trusts you, he would be livid if he knew you were telling me that kind of information,” I ask not thinking his head is clear.

“I am telling you this because I care about what happens,” he answers. Why does he have to be so freaking vague about everything? ‘What happens’ could mean anything! Ugh.

I try to pry him for more information but he doesn’t budge anymore. Breakfast comes to an end and we all clean up. I go to the medical hut to change my bandages. When I unwrap it, mine now looks terrible. It’s red and goopy and there’s some black cracks up my arm too which is abnormal unless it’s poisoned but we don’t use dreamshade to hunt so it isn’t that concerning. I go to find rubbing alcohol to try and disinfect it but there’s none. I wipe it up some so it’s less messy and put on fresh bandages this time wrapping it tighter than before because I’m still distracted by who this Wendy is and the amount of pressure I use shows that. It pinched my skin so much it hurts.

After it’s taped down I go outside and Felix tells us that we are going to practice sparring and tells us to partner up. I grab a stick and go to my friend Joe and we start doing it. We start fighting just as we normally would. He takes things up a level by going for my legs which obviously I jump for. I do the same and swing my stick at some of his weak spots and he reacts falling a couple times but good overall.

“Joe, go to Lee, I would like to practice with y/n,” Pan says in a business like tone. He nods and goes to the end.

“Pan!” I beam, “I missed you so much!” I exclaim and hug him. I then have the after thought of how he was with someone else and let go and step back quicker than I normally would.

“I missed you too,” he kisses me, “I’m sorry I left without saying anything,” he tells me.

“It’s fine,” I tell him not asking where he went. After a small awkward silence I talk again, “How was it?” I ask wanting to know if being with that other girl was horrible or not.

“It went fantastic. Who I saw was very interesting and I definitely will be going on a trip to see them again soon,” my heart drops when he says that. He likes her, I’m no longer the only girl in his life. Where will I go now? Neverland is for those who are lost and unloved but I feel incredibly more lost and unloved right now than I ever did back home.

We start to spar but I’m too distracted by what he told me to focus on fighting. Within the first 10 seconds he knocks the stick out of my hands.

He looks at me weird, “What’s gotten into you? You were fighting just fine moments ago,” he asks me.

“Just the excitement of having you back,” I lie with a fake half smile. I don’t care if I’m overreacting I feel like I belong on that floor for not being good enough for him.

I fight with him the rest of the time trying to keep my mind focused but it works less than I would hope for it to.

After the morning session he leans in and whispers, “now how about we spend the day doing some stuff to help you relax. You look as if you need it,” as he trails his fingers up and down my back.

I step away uncomfortable doing anything of the sort with my current knowledge, “That’s a nice offer but I’m okay. I had some plans today,” I tell him, “With Lee,” I add on wondering if some jealousy will get him back to wanting me and forgetting about that slut.

He looks confused but not jealous of any sort, “Alright then,” he tells me and then goes his own way.

I stand there lost wondering if he’s being a stupid boy not taking a hint or if he really doesn’t care. Either way I might as well give him attention and maybe flirt a little in front of Pan with him to try to get what I want.

I sit with him at camp all day being real close having Pan glance over at us occasionally unphased even when I try to flirt. He doesn’t flirt back which I didn’t expect because I thought I’ve seen enough signs for him to be into this. After a good couple hours of it I give up and go for a walk alone. I stumble upon Felix again and we get to talking.

“Pan had the best time with her, he plans on going back! I flirted with Lee all day and he didn’t say or do anything!” I tell him.

“Why do you think I care? Isn’t that what your mermaid friends are for? Anyway if you want my advice, do it with someone intimidating not Lee,” he shares.

“My relationship is over,” I state even though Pan hasn’t said it I know inside.

As the day comes to an end people are playing dumb stuff around a fire. I join in and drink. They seem to be playing truth or dare. I just want to forget about Wendy and how Pan left for the night again and get really drunk knowing something bad will happen.

“Y/n, truth or dare?” I’m asked.

“Truth,” I answer.

“Tell everyone what you think of Pan keeping on leaving for the girl in London,” the guy asks.

“Everyone knows about that?” I ask embarrassed. They nod saying they are surprised I found out. Having the alcohol hit me and soon to be regretful words, I pour out everything, “Well I’m pissed as fuck! I’m his girlfriend he should only want me! If he does whatever he wants what’s stopping me from sleeping with one of you? He wouldn’t care!” I see I sparked some of the lost boys interest when I said that as they lean in, “I just want him to want only me not that slut that is in a different realm!” I huff mad.

We play more rounds and I finally choose dare, “I dare you to makeout with me,” Sam sitting next to me says scooting closer, definitely thinking of the slutty comment I said earlier. Feeling so vulnerable and unloved I get ready to lean in to do it. Before I can move my head Felix comes and takes me away to Pan’s cave.

“What was that for? I was going to!-“ I begin lazy.

“I don’t care what you were going to do! I have a job and that’s to keep you safe while Pan is away! And that includes not fucking any lost boys out of anger!”

I turn away from him angry once he goes I feel my injured arm have this horrible pain that’s unlike anything but I’m too drunk and tired to check on it and I fall asleep.

I wake up the next morning with a raging headache and do the regular routine. I hunt with a group of people that’s not Lee for a change. They start talking about what happened last night as we climb in a tree.

“I can’t believe I said all that. Did Sam really try to kiss me?” I ask and they nod and I’m humiliated. I try to spear a boar distracted by something new and miss, it runs off. Rich does it correctly to another one and we carry it back.

I sit next to Felix, “Thanks for having my back last night,” I tell him.

“Just doing my job,” he tells me and sips water.

I sit with him in silence as we both eat.

Felix tells us we will not have a morning practice session and I go back to sleep this hangover off some more.

When I walk in the cheating Peter Pan is standing there.

“Hey,” I tell him holding my head.

“Hey darling how are you?” He asks.

“Exhausted. I got a raging hangover because I was stupid and let the guys rope me into drinking way beyond my normal limits,” I groan.

He comes over and helps me lay down, “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?” He asks being genuine.

“Just some water is fine,” I say. He goes to get some and I look at my arm and even though it’s oozing some I don’t want to get anyone involved and I put on a jacket to hide it.

He comes back with what I asked telling me to get some rest and to call if I need anything that he will be in the tent he does business in.

I nod and sip the water and watch him as he goes. I lay down for several hours left with all my thought in my head I’ve had the past 24 hours. I can’t lose him though. I have to try to win him so I’m the only one he wants.

I go to his tent and see him standing there looking at pieces of parchment, “What are you looking at?” I ask poking my head behind him.

“I’m making a deal with Hook so he continues doing my dirty work,” he tells me.

“What if we do some dirty work?” I whisper and move my hand down to his crotch area and kiss his neck.

I can tell he’s smirking from the corner of my eye and he turns to me, “I’d love to do some dirty work with you,” he whispers back, “but I must finish this. I will later I promise. I do want to,” he kisses my cheek.

“You aren’t going to London? I mean away again tonight?” I correct myself because he does not know I know everything.

“No. I have more important things here. Like you,” he smiles which makes me smile feeling better about my place.

I leave his tent and go to see the mermaids and tell them everything that’s been happening and ask for there incite.

“You’re reading into it Pan loves you he would never cheat,” Serena tries to assure me.

“I don’t know. Two nights in a row on his “business trip” and if Felix of all people say that it’s true it probably is. He doesn’t bullshit stuff,” Alice tells me sounding sceptic.

They go back and forth defending there reasons leaving me confused.

“I still think Lee likes you. Grabbing you by the waist? And not moving his hands once your in a safe spot? That sounds so sexy!” Alice tells me.

“But that doesn’t explain why he didn’t flirt with me,” I tell them.

“He probably knew Pan was there and got nervous. Isn’t he shy? You might have to get him alone,” Serena suggests.

I think about it realizing that actually could be really true, “Thanks girls this has helped a lot,” I head out and find Lee.

He’s sitting around the camp. Right by the tent Pan is in lucky for me. I go to change my nasty bandages for my horrific arm and come back out, “Hey Lee,” I say right by the nylon outside of Pan, “Do you want to get out of here? For a walk in the woods or beach maybe?” I ask. I put my hand on his arm hoping Pan is looking at our shadows.

“Yeah. He smiles. That sounds nice,” he stands up and we walk into the trees. I look back briefly and see Pan staring at us starting to hide in some bushes not far away with a jealous look and I smirk.

[justforbooks]

‘I couldn’t be with someone who liked Jack Reacher’: can our taste in books help us find love?

Readers are in demand on dating sites, with one focused entirely on bringing book-lovers together. But is our taste in literature truly a good indication of compatibility?

“He mentioned in his bio that he liked Virginia Woolf and I was like, ‘Ah! The dream boy,” says Francesca, 34, who met her boyfriend Andy on Tinder. They spent two years as friends, exchanging books and chatting about Mrs Dalloway, until one day Francesca had a revelation during lockdown: “I was like, I miss you so much – I think I love you,” she says.

Andy gave her an illustrated collection of love letters between Woolf and her lover Vita Sackville-West: “If there’s anything that inspired our relationship it would be a lesbian love story from the 1930s,” she says. Last year, they went to Hampton Court for “a Vita and Virginia date,” she says. “We joke we’ll get some fish named after them, too.”

Readers are in demand on dating apps. In 2017 eHarmony found that women who expressed an interest in books on their profiles received 3% more messages than the average, while men saw a massive 19% jump. (Literary men are extremely desirable, as the 1.3m followers of the Hot Dudes Reading Instagram account can attest.) Book Lovers, a site founded in 2010 for readers looking for romance with other readers, now has 3,000 members.

But, unlike most dating apps, there’s no algorithm on Book Lovers to match brooding Byron fans or wistful Woolf enthusiasts. “We prefer to leave it to serendipity,” says Book Lovers co-founder David Unwin. “It gives people an easy conversation starter – ‘Who are your favourite authors?’, ‘What are you reading at the moment?’ It’s a slower approach than some sites, such as Tinder, but we think it’s a more human one and will lead to longer-lasting relationships.”

But Hayley Quinn, dating coach at Match.com who has amassed more than 100,000 YouTube subscribers thanks to her frank relationship advice, is sceptical of a love based on literature. “Shared interests can be a bit of a red herring,” she says. “The big compatibility things are how you communicate with each other and what ideas you have around commitment. If you absolutely despise your date’s favourite author, it could lead to a really fun and heated conversation and send sparks flying – but it wouldn’t necessarily set up for long-term compatibility.”

Beth, a 25-year-old book blogger from Berkshire, has tried to find love both with and without literature. “I’ve had two long-term relationships in my life and one of them has been with a reader and one of them hasn’t,” she says. “I think there’s something beautiful for me in sitting down with someone that you care about and picking up a book and enjoying that together, rather than one of you scrolling through their phone. There’s a level of intellect that’s untapped. When you both read, it just allows for discussion and debate that can go on for hours. It’s fascinating.”

Like anyone looking for love, readers have their own dating red flags. Some are running jokes online – male readers who profess to love David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest are widely suspected to be chauvinists or show-offs looking to impress – but other put-offs are more personal. “I’d have a problem being with someone who really liked Jack Reacher,” says James, a 63-year-old Book Lovers user in Canterbury. “They’re competent novels but I like DH Lawrence and Joseph Conrad. When I was at university, liking DH Lawrence would make you kind of trendy. Although, I did leave Oxford a virgin … so it didn’t really work.”

Without an app, many bibliophiles discover the horror lurking in their suitor’s shelves only when they make it as far as the bedroom. “I fell head over heels for a guy who worked with my friend,” says 25-year-old Emma from London. “On the third date he invited me over to cook dinner for me. I walked in and knew it would never work. His shelves were filled with science fiction cartoon books. That was it. And they were alphabetised.”

Meanwhile, Katie, 25, who coupled up on a night out, was put off by her date’s judgment of her own reading tastes. “He was beautiful, brown-eyed, knew how to use apostrophes – husband material,” she says. “One evening we went back to mine and he was looking at my bookshelf. I had The Secret History by Donna Tartt and Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh. He said, ‘I’m a big bookworm but some of these are a bit cliche,’ in a really standoffish manner, which I couldn’t tell if I found sexy or not. I asked, ‘Well, what else do you like reading,’ and he goes, ‘I really like this thing called Lord of the Rings’. He’d literally only read those three books.”

Far from empty snobbery, research suggests judging someone on their literary tastes can provide a telling insight into their personality. A 2016 scientific study involving more than 3,000 students at the University of Texas concluded that romance readers are warm and understanding, poetry lovers are calm and introspective, erotic novel enthusiasts are outgoing and incautious, while non-fiction lovers are well organised and self-assured.

Quinn acknowledges that reading has certain compatibility indicators. “Books,” she says, “could be one way to see if someone has a similar world view to us. If you like the same sort of books, there’s an argument you could have a similar education or background.”

On the hunt for love, a dating service catering to readers may not replace the magic of a chance encounter. “If you have this coincidental, Notting Hill meeting with someone, that creates a better platform to lend more significance to them in your mind,” says Quinn. “When we look at lots of dating profiles, we get banner blind that there are actual humans behind them. It’s not that there are better quality people at a bookshop, but we really associate things like coincidence and serendipity with sparks flying and romance.”

Luckily for bookworms, touching hands with a stranger when reaching for the same copy of Wuthering Heights may not be as rare as it sounds. Daunt Books manager Brett Croft says many couples have locked eyes in the long oak galleries and quiet corners of their Edwardian Marylebone store in London. “People often ask if they can propose or get married here because that’s where they met,” he says. “People hide rings in the book that sparked their original conversation. And all they said was, ‘That’s a fantastic book, you should read it.’”

But whether a love for books really helps in the search for romance, for some singletons it’s non-negotiable, no matter what the science says. “I feel like I owe it to myself to be able to find somebody that has this one thing in common with me,” says Beth. “There’s something in books – the sheer wonder of being able to jump in and explore a complete other world. I want to be with somebody who understands that.”

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

[danasmonster]

Comparing the SKAM Remakes: ISAK (Part V)

Robbe (wtFOCK/SKAM Belgium)

The Differences:

OK let me start off by saying this is the most turbulent Isak/Even relationship yet. They lie to each other (Sander & Robbe), they yell at each other (Robbe), and they call each other homophobic slurs (Robbe). They also say “I love you” a lot more . . . 

Instead of pawning the weed off on someone else, Robbe had the weed pawned off on him

Unlike Isak, Robbe is still going through the process of finding a place to live. His mom has just been hospitalized and his dad lives really far away from his school, plus they don’t get along. 

Also, instead of Zoe (the Noora character) being in London, it’s Lisa (Linn) who is studying abroad, thus making the room available. It was a bit like the writers thought “meh, this character is just window dressing” and replaced her with Zoe, and it was nice to see more of Zoe's interactions with all the characters since she is more central to the series. Honestly both Zoe and Milan seem to really look after and take care of Robbe, more so than the other incarnations of Eskild and Noora. 

Milan is way more in your face about making out with men in front of Robbe than Eskild was. 

Both Robbe and Sander are in relationships with girls when they meet, however neither has been long term. Sander’s relationship with Britt has only been going on for six months, as opposed to four years with Even and Sonja. I think this is pretty significant because you could feel a lot of history between Even and Sonja and that is missing here with Sander and Britt. 

Robbe never lied to his friends in order to spend time with Sander, which was nice

But then he also totally freaked the fuck out after they kissed in the pool and went on the offensive with Sander, calling him a faggot and pushing him away . . . yeeek. I liked that Isak never took the hate for himself out on Even, never pushed him away. That Robbe did it here was understandable yes but I think I still prefer the orig. I mean Sanders face goddamn

Robbe broke up with Noor in person instead of just avoiding her/generally treating her like shit until they just fell apart 

I also liked that while yes the boys were creeping on the dancing girls like in the orig, in wtFOCK they were actually invited to be there as part of an actual audience. It didn’t feel as gross here.

Robbe and Sander didn’t just ditch the girls before the bike/pool scene - the girls went off on their own earlier and requested to be alone. It felt a little less dickish this way.

And OH MY GOD THE VIOLENCE! There is very explicit homophobia in the form of slurs and an actual physical attack on Robbe and Sander. No other incarnation has experienced such blatant hatred from other people. 

And what the fuck, Sander??? Sander flat out lied to Robbe when he told him he had broken up with Britt. 

There is also definitely some homophobia on the part of Moyo/Madhi and Aaron/Magnus. I mean, they actually call being bisexual gross and say they would be creeped out to be around a gay guy because he “might be into them.” That’s more than just ignorance, it’s intolerance, something that wasn’t present in Madhi and Magnus. Moyo in particular is way more of a dick. 

The scene where Sander has a bipolar episode is a little different because Robbe never tries to contact Britt, but somehow she is still there? Also her opinions on whether or not Sander’s feeling for Robbe are real hold a lot less weight considering they were only together six months as opposed to four years. Then instead of Sander’s friends and family taking care of him, he admits himself to a mental health facility. Then Jana/Eva encourages Robbe to just give up on Sander. Eeesh. 

Instead of Aaron/Magnus having a bipolar mother helping Sander understand it better, it’s Moyo/Madhi. Moyo also gives the minute by minute advice to him instead of Britt/Sonja. 

My Favorite Parts: 

I love the street art/graffiti subplot. I’ve always loved this type of art (when it is art). That first scene where Noor took Robbe to spray paint was so atmospheric, another song added to my playlist (

Fall

by The Bugg & Ina Copeland)Honestly any scene with Zoe and Milan was fantastic I liked when Milan readily admitted to going through everyone’s stuff when they weren’t home. I love the way Zoe is taking care of Robbe by making him food and just generally making him feel welcome when he moves in to the apartment with her and Milan. She was also really sweet when she made sure his wounds were disinfected after he was beaten up and making sure they were bandaged. Milan snuggling up to a sleeping Senna was great. I also really enjoyed the little taste of couple life from Zoe when she complained about Senna’s snoring. Zoe’s line was definitely on point. I don’t know how her relationship will end for her but this ideology is paramount to having a healthy relationship, period. 

“We’re a couple now but we also have our own lives”

It was really great and amusing foreshadowing when Noor replied to the boy’s saying all the chicks that go to the art school are hot with “

You haven’t seen the boys yet.

” Enter Sander.  

When Robbe meets Sander and they go around the store riding the grocery cart. It’s so carefree and happy and while I miss the pure absurdity of watching Even take all of the paper towels this scene was absolutely wonderful

The Halloween party was fucking epic.

Trick R Treat

by Josh A and Iamjakehill, added to playlistThe conversation between Milan and Robbe about Milan’s gaydar was really good, with the beginning of his response definitely tailored toward Robbe, and the look he gives him is so telling it’s uncomfortable. He was basically like, “I know you’re gay, bro.” Milan describes his gaydar as picking up on subtle signals, 

A certain look in their eyes. Or . . . It’s a bit like there is something in them that is desperately trying to get out. 

The conversation between Jens and Robbe about how sex isn’t everything was a prime example of how to be a good bro and healthy masculinity and I fucking loved it

The conversation between Milan and Robbe where Robbe admits to having feelings for another boy was super sweet. I feel like Milan was kind of taking on an Eskild/school nurse hybrid role here because he was mostly just encouraging Robbe not to keep everything inside and to be himself. His relationship with Robbe seems a bit more paternal and I love it for this version.

The scene where Robbe is actually open and honest with Sander about his conflicting emotions about his sexuality was much appreciated

The scene when Milan was describing a very butch guy on the bus becoming all soft like when he looked at him was great. Everyone melts for you, Milan 💋

Have I said how much I love Zoe and Milan??? Also I can’t wait to see Zoe and Senna’s story when I go through all the Nooras, Senna definitely seems like the best William so far. I know they break up in the last episode of Robbe’s season but I have hopes they will get back together.

It was absolutely amazing to watch Milan put Mojo in his place

The scene where Zoe and Robbe go Christmas shopping is terrific. I just love watching their friendship 

The scene of everyone opening their Christmas presents together was also adorable 

Things I Missed:

The funny, quirky little moments like the metal leg conversation between Even and Isak right before their almost first kiss or the absurdity of the paper towel scene when they first meet

The scene where the whole boy squad is together and giving Isak relationship advice. In this one is was just Jens and I felt let down that Aaron and Moyo couldn’t be there as well. 

And a shout out for Noor, who gets my vote for best Emma

Noor (Emma) kissed Robbe after he complimented her, not after he insulted her. 

Robbe also seems to have more of an actual relationship with Noor than Isak had with Emma. 

Noor is definitely the coolest version of Emma so far, both in personality and appearance. I mean not only does she look fucking great but she was so sweet about how Robbe couldn’t get it up when they tried to have sex. 

I really love the development of their relationship in this and how much more complex it is than in the original.

I also love that she and Robbe seem to have repaired their relationship and can be friends by the end of Robbe’s story

GO NOOR!!

[merakiaes]

How To Get The Girl - Finn Shelby

Pairing: Finn Shelby x reader

Requested: Yes. 

Prompts: #65 and #66 from the fluff-list.

Warnings/notes: It’s 2.30am and I’m running on no sleep so if this is shit and really boring, I’m sorry. I’ll probably go in a re-write it tomorrow. 

Wordcount: 2595

Summary: Some bad flirting and a piece of advice leading to Finn landing a date. 

Whether or not you were new to Small Heath or just passing through, Finn didn’t know. The only thing he knew for certain, was that your beauty was unlike anything he had ever seen in his life; completely incomparable.

You had been coming to the Garrison every night for the past week to drink with your brothers. Or, at least he guessed they were your brothers. You all had the same colored hair, the same facial structures, and very similar laughs.

You seemed to be far too close to be just friends, but at the same time, not close in the same way you would a romantic interest, which only left the sibling-alternative.

Finn had lost track of the conversation at hand with his brothers and friends, their voices and laughs practically falling to deaf ears as he stared at you from across the room while sipping his whiskey.

Arthur finally seemed to catch on to his little brother’s unusual silence, however, shoving an elbow into his side, rather roughly in his drunken haze and asking loudly. “What’s got you so distracted tonight, eh, Finn boy?”

Finn glared at him and kept quiet, turning his gaze back to you. But when he didn’t give him an answer himself, Isaiah took it upon himself to give it for him.

“It’s that girl! He’s been pining after her ever since she came in the first time on Monday. Not that I blame him, she’s fucking magnificent.”

Arthur and John each let out a drunk yell, scooting closer to their youngest brother and putting their arms around his shoulder almost in perfect sync. “There’s a fine looking lass.” Arthur agreed.

But John only let out a loud laugh, ruffling his hair around while shaking his head. “Not a chance. Fancy girls like her don’t go for boys like us. She’s born from money, that one.”

Polly snorted from where she sat on the opposite side of the table, raising an eyebrow at her nephew. “And how would you possibly know that?”

John waved a hand in your direction, where you were laughing carelessly to something your brothers had said, having no clue in the slightest to the conversation currently going on behind your back.

“Look at the diamonds around her neck and listen to the accent of the company she’s in.” He said, shaking his head again with a teasing smile playing at his lips as he took a drag of his cigar. “Those are London boys. And you were born in the slums. Don’t get your hopes up.”

His discouraging words drew a scoff from Polly, but she chose to stay out of further conversation, knowing she would without a doubt lose her temper otherwise.

Instead, Tommy chose this as his time to join in, sitting up in his chair and putting out his cigarette, blowing out the final drag of smoke before speaking.

“Well, he’s also a Shelby.” He noted, looking at John, before turning to Finn and taking that back of his neck in his hand. “And since when have us Shelbys had any trouble in finding women, eh? All he needs is a little boost.”

With that, he gave him a small shake and then proceeded to tell him what he needed to do to get your attention.

No matter how hard he tried to be, he wasn’t his brothers. He had their charm, without a doubt. But the difference between them and him was that they knew how to use it, and he was absolutely fucking clueless.

At nineteen years old, he wasn’t a virgin. But the only girl he had ever slept with was the whore his brothers had hired for him on his eighteenth birthday.

He had told Tommy when reporting back that very same night that he never wanted it like that again, and he had stuck by it, not having felt a woman’s touch since. Barely even held a conversation with one, if you didn’t count his aunt and brothers’ wives.

John, Arthur and Isaiah let him in on their tips and tricks, as well, giving him examples of lines and words that could be used to ‘lure any lady in’. Some of the things they told him to do and say seemed absolutely bizarre, but what did he know?

Their biggest mistake, however? Not telling him in which context the different lines should have been used.

He probably should’ve been able to figure that out himself, but like earlier mentioned, he hadn’t had much practice on the subject of women and quite frankly, he wasn’t like his brothers at all personality-wise.

Rather than being loud, daring and fierce, he was soft, shy and careful, and when finally having gathered the courage to walk up to you at the bar, really fucking nervous, which was probably what fucked the entire thing up.

He could practically feel himself dying from shame when he slid up beside you with an overly cocky smirk, speaking out: “Rumor has it, I make you nervous,” like his brother’s had advised him to, only to get little to no reaction back.

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for you to be approached on a night out, quite the opposite really; you honestly got more surprised nowadays if you weren’t approached by at least one man.

You didn’t know what it was that made them think you would ever be interested when they delivered such bad pick-up lines, just like this one. 

You admired them for the attempts, but never gave them much of a response, and this time was no different, as you simply snorted at the lame line.

But when you turned your head to the side to turn him down like you did every other guy and caught sight of his face, your attitude shifted in an instance.

Unlike the cocky, overly confident boys you were used to, this was not one of them. 

Sure, he still sported a cocky smirk on his lips. But his eyes were so insecure and soft, going together perfectly with his innocent, freckled face, and instantly caught your attention.

So, rather than shooting him down like you had originally been planning, you twisted your body to face him, completely forgetting about the drinks your brothers had sent you to retrieve.

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you flirting with me?”

His smirk instantly widened, but it faltered slightly every once in a while, showing you clearly that this wasn’t something he usually did. “That depends, is it working?”

His voice was casual and sure, but his nervous face betrayed the entire act of confidence he had put on.

“Well, I have to be frank.” You chuckled, tilting your head to the side slightly. “Your skills of seducing a woman are absolutely shite and I usually don’t care for boys who strike up a conversation by tooting their own horn, but you’re cute and you seem nervous, so I’ll let it slide.”

He obviously hadn’t been expecting you to talk back with such ease, his smirk falling in a matter of seconds and his freckled face taking on a pink tint. He began sputtering for a response, and you couldn’t help but throw your head back in a laugh.

“Oh, the fearless mettle disappeared just like that, did it?” You questioned, amusement evident in your voice, and he must’ve taken it as if you were mocking him because the next second, his face had taken a sour turn.

“I’m not nervous.” He defended, but the intensifying blush on his cheeks told you different.

“No?” You raised an eyebrow, giving him a lopsided smile. “Then how come you still haven’t offered to buy me drink?”

“I don’t have to buy you a drink. My brother owns the place.” He was quick to reply this time, actually shocking you but still causing you to laugh a genuine laugh that pulled all the way to your eyes.

“Does that line usually work on girls?” You asked, and instantly he turned flustered again.

“No.” He disagreed, stuttering over his words. “I mean, I don’t really talk to girls much.”

You snorted, raising an eyebrow. “You don’t say.”

The blush on his cheeks deepened even further at your sarcastic remark, and you were starting to feel guilty. 

He obviously had no idea what to do in the situation he was currently in and although it shocked you to even say it, you found him interesting and didn’t want to scare him away.

So you dropped the sarcastic act, putting on a genuine smile and chuckling lightly. “Relax, I’m just having a bit of fun.” You comforted him, now in a tone much softer than before, sticking your hand out. “I’m (Y/N). What’s your name?”

His entire body seemed to relax at the sight of your outstretched hand, shoulders slumping and a small breath escaping from between his lips. 

He took a moment to react, before reaching out and taking your hand in his, shaking it carefully. “Finn. Finn Shelby.”

His hand was softer than you had expected it to be. Your brothers were all hard workers, all having served in the war. Their hands were rough and scarred and calloused. Bit Finn’s hand was smooth, indicating that he had yet to put in any hard labor in life.

And you found yourself liking that.

“Well, Finn Shelby, let me ask you something.” You said once he had let go of your hand again, licking your lips and leaning in a bit closer, peeking a glance at the table at the other side of the room that you had seen him sitting at before, and where its occupants were obviously trying to listen in without looking too obviously – and failing miserably at the latter. “Is it your brothers who taught you how to flirt? Because they didn’t do a very good job.”

He glanced over at said brothers just like you had, before turning back to look at you, a sheepish expression now settled on his face. “It usually works better for them.” He admitted lowly. “But as soon as I try anything they do, I mess up.”

Your eyebrows furrowed slightly at that. 

You got the feeling he wasn’t just talking about the flirting, and you found yourself puzzled about this boy. Not even five minutes into meeting each other and he was already, in a way, talking about his feelings; oversharing.

But you found it sweet. A guy that wasn’t overly masculine on a toxic level and could talk about his emotion was something this cruel world needed a lot more of in your opinion. 

There was nothing attractive about men who couldn’t own up to the person they were on the inside. In fact, those were usually the ones who grew up to be the really bad ones.

“That’s because you’re not them.” You answered, shrugging with a smile. “A piece of advice? You need to adapt to your own personality, use your own personal charm to your advantage, and not try to mimic someone else’s.”

He laughed at that; a genuine laugh that didn’t seemed as forced as everything else up until that point. “I wish they would have given me the same advice.”

“Well, their advice might not have done you very good, but you still got me hooked, didn’t you?” Your flirty attitude turned back on just like that, and when yours did, so did his, but this time in a natural way.

He raised an eyebrow, adjusting himself where he was leaning against the bar so that he was more comfortable. “Did I?”

“What would you do if I said yes?” You asked, raising an eyebrow to match his own, to which his grin only widened.

“I would ask you on a date.”

Your lips trembled and you had to force yourself to keep your calm in order to not break into a full smile.

“And when and where would this date take place?” You hummed, your head that had previously already been spinning with the alcohol you had consumed throughout the night now spinning even more with the buzz of the excitement you were surprisingly feeling by talking to him.

“Seven o’clock tomorrow night.” He answered, not even taking a second to think about it, shocking both you and seemingly himself as he caught himself and slowed down with a sheepish smile. “Dinner, a movie at the pictures, and then back here where I would introduce you to my brothers.”

You snickered, leaning your chin on the palm of your hands and narrowing your eyes slightly at him. “Taking me to meet your family already on the first date?” You teased. “You sure do move quickly, don’t you?”

Much to your surprise, he didn’t blush at your teasing this time, instead just giving you an equally as teasing smile back. “Just using my own personal charm to my advantage.”

Your eyebrows shot up, your confidence faltering for a slight moment as he was now beginning to take control. “And using my own words against me. You drive a hard bargain.”

He took a slow step closer to you, and whether or not it was intentional, you could admit you felt heat rise to your cheeks when his fingers brushed against yours at the surface of the bar.

You glanced down at your touching fingers briefly and he did the same, before looking back up at you with questioning eyes. “Is that a yes?”

You didn’t get the time to answer before your oldest brother called out your name from your table. You threw a look over your shoulder, noticing they were all now standing up and beginning to get into their jackets, without a doubt tired of waiting for the drinks you were supposed to bring them some five minutes ago.

“Just a minute!” You yelled back at them, hurriedly turning back to Finn who was now looking at you expectantly. 

You bit your lip, looking around at the bar and luckily spotting a newspaper and a ballpoint pen lying around within reaching distance.

You stretched your arm out and grabbed them, clicked the pen and started scribbling your address in the corner of the first page with as clear letters you possibly could.

Your brothers had now started heading past you and out the door, and the oldest one – the same that had called for you – had stopped behind you with your jacket slung over his arm, waiting for you to finish.

You clicked the pen and put it down at the bar, carefully ripped the corner with your address written on it off and folded it in two before pushing yourself off the bar.

Finn did the same and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he watched your brother help you into your jacket wordlessly, respectfully minding his own business and not intervening.

Once you had gotten situated in your coat and pulled your hair back out from under the collar, you reached the note out for Finn to take.

He took it with a small smile, and you returned it with a smile twice as wide.

“It was nice meeting  you, Finn Shelby, and I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow.” You grinned and leaned in to plant a kiss on his cheek.

His skin was warm against your lips, no doubt from being flustered from your entire interaction. 

And your little finishing touch did nothing to calm his racing heart, having him even more flustered than he had been before when you walked out with your brother in tow, leaving him to go back to his own brothers with the good news.

[violent-bulldog]

Chloe Valentine: Book VS Musical

Oh boy, here we go

(Mentions of “Rape”)

In the book, Chloe is one of the “Hot Girls” and is therefore, popular and whatnot. However, she isn’t the ‘main’ hot girl, that would be Katrina. They’re basically the Heathers only none of them die. Well, after the party, we never hear from any of them again so I’m just assuming that they’re still alive.

During chapter fifteen, Rich asks Jeremy which one of the “Hot Girls” he’d want to get with and Jeremy replies with Chloe. He previously states that he stares at her the most, most likely due to her costume. Jeremy essentially wants to use Chloe to get to Christine, as per the Squip’s guide. Jeremy doesn’t care about using her to get what he wants.

Chloe takes a genuine interest in Jeremy during chapter twenty-two as Jeremy flirts with her in the mall. He presses his leg against hers and asks for her number. She becomes jealous when Anne cries into Jeremy’s shoulder, pushing her leg against his even more. They do this in the back of the car too, just before Chloe gives him her number.

After Jeremy fails to get Christine (one of many times) and his failure at hooking up with Brooke due to an infected nipple piercing (which, by the way... yuck) his Squip tells him that he needs to focus on getting with Chloe as Christine is still with Jake and Jeremy needs to make her jealous. Jeremy’s reply to the Squip is “Woo-Hoo! Deal” which shows that he is very much down with the idea of sleeping with Chloe just to get with Christine.

Jeremy calls Chloe and they make mostly small talk until Jeremy suggests doing something together and Chloe tells him about Jason Finderman’s party. She asks if he’s going to be “Rolling” (which means doing drugs, I gather?) and Jeremy actually goes against the Squip’s advice and says that he is. Chloe replies with “Really? You will? With me? Aww, Jeremy, you’re so sweet” which further proves that she has a genuine interest in him. She then asks if he’ll have a car and he says he will, leading him to steal his mother’s car for the party, just to impress her.

Chloe is already “Rolling” by the time Jeremy (and Michael) arrive at the party. She instructs Jason’s brother, who’s guarding the door, to let them in. She enthusiastically runs up to Jeremy (probably due to the drugs, but it could also be because she’s happy that he actually showed up) and gives him his pill. She then starts to lead him somewhere, but he tries to blow her off for Christine. The Squip tells him that Chloe is about to have sex with him, but Jeremy just cares about the fact that Christine is currently alone. 

Chloe notices that he’s distant and says that he’s in his own little world. Jeremy goes to make up an excuse of some sort, but she interrupts him. “”Come!” Chloe grabs my shirt. “I like you” She adjusts my baseball cap. “You can go back to your world later. Be in mine for a while”” This is the first time that she states that she genuinely wants to be with Jeremy, unlike Christine. Jeremy lets her lead the way to where she was originally going.

They go into a laundry center (which, as a Scottish person, I’m assuming is the same as a utility room) and they start to make out, with Jeremy pulling Chloe into his lap and groping her (all with consent). He then starts to dirty talk and ends up telling her that he wishes she had a tail. Chloe calls him weird and straddles him. They start to make out again and Jeremy takes off her shirt and she takes off her bra. Things are about to escalate further before Chloe’s boyfriend, Brock, interrupts them by breaking the window. Chloe tells Jeremy to watch out, before dressing and leaves, blowing him a kiss.

Jeremy ends up in a bathroom with Stephanie (the third “Hot Girl”), hiding from Brock. Stephanie states that Jeremy is “That guy Chloe likes!” and then talks about how Jeremy is apparently super cool, which means that Chloe must have talked about him between the events in the mall and when she invited him to the party.

Chloe ends up getting back with Brock (and snorts Ritalin...) and everything is fine with the trio. Jeremy even drives Chloe and Brock home and that’s the last we really hear from them.

Chloe had a genuine interest in Jeremy, despite having a boyfriend, but Jeremy was only using her to try and get with Christine. If Brock hadn’t interrupted, Chloe and Jeremy would have most likely had sex and it would have been 100% consensual. Jeremy isn’t in a relationship with anyone, so he isn’t cheating. Chloe technically is, but her boyfriend really doesn’t seem like that good of a guy and there’s a very high chance that they broke up at some point. Especially since he calls her a slut and a whore...

HOWEVER

In the musical, the “Hot Girls” don’t exist. Chloe is the only one out of the trio to appear, most likely due to the entire situation with Jeremy. Brooke and her are the equivalent to the “Hot Girls” with Chloe being at the number one spot and Brooke being at number two. The musical focuses a lot more on Jeremy and Michael’s friendship than the book did and a lot less on any other romantic relationships beside Jeremy and Christine’s. 

Chloe and Jeremy barely interact during the musical before the Halloween party, which has merged the Halloween dance and Jason Finderman’s party, the only interactions being Chloe stating that he was getting of to her discussion with Jenna and Brooke about Jake and Madeline/Chloe asking what he was staring at when Jake says that they should see other people and the scene in the clothes store in the mall, where Brooke offers Jeremy a ride (like how he asked for one from Anne and Chloe in the book) and Chloe just goes along with it mainly. Their only real interaction is at the Halloween party.

(I have never seen any production of the show live, I am going off of any visual bootlegs on youtube, a copy of the script I found online and the audio bootleg of the London showing. I apologise if anything is incorrect)

During the song “Halloween” Chloe tells Jeremy that she’s been sent to get him because Brooke has a surprise for him. She leads him to an upstairs bedroom, telling him that it’s Jake’s parents. Jeremy says that she knows her way around and she tells him it’s because she’s had sex in most rooms in the house. Jeremy gives he a shocked look and she defends herself, saying that it’s because she dated Jake and asks what kind of slut Jeremy thinks she is. 

Jeremy asks where Brooke is and Chloe says that she isn’t coming. Chloe starts singing “Do You Wanna Hang?” and dances around Jeremy. She’s been drinking from her flask (which is a baby bottle) and it’s clear that she’s very much wasted. Jeremy says that he should leave, but his Squip prevents him from standing up. Chloe then starts to talk about how she doesn’t understand why Brooke is so crazy about Jeremy, and how she isn’t as innocent as she seems.

There’s a pause and Jeremy accuses her of being jealous. In the Broadway version, Chloe gestures to herself and states that she’s obviously not jealous, but in the London version, she snaps at him and says that she’s not jealous but she just doesn’t understand why people like Brooke more than they like her. In both versions, Jeremy asks why anyone would be jealous of her because she’s the hottest girl in school. He goes to take back his words, but Chloe kisses him. He tries to tell the Squip to make it stop, but the Squip says it doesn’t understand what Jeremy wants to stop for.

Chloe continues singing “Do You Wanna Hang?” and offers Jeremy the baby bottle flask, stating that it’s not actually milk. The Squip forces him to drink before making him kiss Chloe again. 

Brooke interrupts and knocks on the door, asking if Jeremy is there because she was told by Jenna that he had gone upstairs. Chloe and Jeremy stay silent and Brooke goes away. Jeremy ask Chloe if she doesn’t care about Brooke finding out, but Chloe just replies by telling him that he’s not as cute when he’s talking. Jeremy asks the Squip for help, but due to the alcohol, the Squip shuts off.

Chloe says that she’s had enough, until Jake pounds on the door shouting for Jeremy. She then says that the fun is beginning. Jake yells that Jeremy better not be having sex on his parents bed or else he’d have to rip Jeremy’s balls off. Chloe says that they can both be ball-less and Jake pauses before asking if it was her and tries to break the door down. Chloe, who is jumping on the bed, yells that they’re having sex all over Jake’s parents linens and Jeremy tries to protest. 

The banging of Jake trying to break down the door stops and they both think that he’s gone away until Jake punches through the window and climbs into the room. Chloe straddles Jeremy (who may be shirtless at this point, but I’ve never seen that in the bootlegs) and Jake tells him that he’s dead. Chloe tells Jake to go away because they’re busy screwing and Jeremy moves away from Chloe and goes to the door, opening it to find Brooke standing there. Jake climbs completely through the window and Jeremy apologises to her before shoving past her and running from Jake.

Many people call the events in this scene “Attempted Rape” and I think that is way too far. From what I’ve seen, they go no further than kissing and Chloe states that she’s had enough and is about to leave before Jake arrives. It’s not Chloe’s fault that Jeremy couldn’t refuse or deny consent. That’s the Squip’s. Chloe was lead to believe that Jeremy was into it as he showed no attempts to stop her or deny what she was doing. It was a miscommunication due to the Squip’s attempts at getting Jeremy to sleep with the popular girl. It wasn’t Jeremy’s fault. It wasn’t Chloe’s fault. It was the Squip’s fault. 

I don’t know why Chloe and Jeremy’s relationship was changed like this. Maybe due to the musical not having a long enough run-time to support the development of it as well as the development of Jeremy’s relationships with Michael and Christine. Chloe played a fairly important part in the book, but the musical makes her seem like a completely different character. Book Chloe was popular and hot, but also kind and genuinely interested in Jeremy, whereas musical Chloe is popular and hot and that’s about it. She’s mean and blunt and is a major part in making Jeremy cheat on Brooke. She doesn’t seem to care about her actions and only seems to think of herself until “The Play” and, unless you’re like me and you dive deeply into what her mental state may be like, she is seen as the secondary-antagonist (the Squip being the primary-antagonist).

They did her character dirty in the musical. But, she isn’t a rapist. So please, for the love of god, stop calling her one. She’s a sixteen-year-old who made a drunken mistake that people like to blow out of proportion. 

[youreverycolor]

An Unlikely Love: Unspoken (Rafael Barba x Anna Stein)

AN: Prompt #200 from 200 Prompts from @drink-it-write-it (“He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it.”)

Tagging: @thatesqcrush @madpanda75 @misssirenlove @danahart1 @nikkijmorgan @ele-esposito @dianilaws @sunnyfortomorrow @mommakat32 @lucifersadvisor @gibbs274 @oliviamariathegirl @evee87 @tropes-and-tales @garturbo @delia26 @neely1177 @jennisdirtyimagines @lostintech0011001 @letty-o @lucifersadvisor

Song: “Tale As Old As Time” from the BatB soundtrack (I’m giving you the one from the new movie but pick your poison).

~*~*~*~

“Beauty and the Beast.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Nope,” Anna said. “I wanted to be Belle, but only because she got to live in a castle with an enormous library.”

Rafael laughed quietly at her latest confession. Although the sex was mind-blowing, his favorite part of staying the night with her was the afterglow. She would curl up next to him, tucked under his arm, head on his chest, and they would play twenty questions. After six months from their first dinner, he thought he knew everything about her, from her favorite color (cerulean) to her most precious childhood toy (a Jiminy Cricket doll from her aunt in California). But he never seemed to be able to learn everything, and he was perfectly happy with that. He didn’t want to stop exploring her. For now, he would settle for his hand exploring the curve of her back.

For Anna, the game was more about opening him up. Rafael Barba was an enigma; even his best friend, Olivia, didn’t know much about his life before the DA’s office. From the day she’d asked for his help getting into law school, Anna wanted to know more about him. At first, it was just professional—how he had gotten from the Bronx to Harvard, what made him want to be a lawyer, how he’d gotten into the DA’s office—but then, slowly, she started to see the man behind the Armani, and the more she saw, the more she wanted to see. It just so happened that he was at his most open after they made love. Among the things she had learned so far: his favorite color was green. His birthday was October 17. He was an only child, but he always wanted a sister. His eyes were the same as his father’s, which she knew didn’t please him. And—so far, her favorite thing—he loved HGTV. That was a secret he never shared with anyone before. She felt honored that he shared it with her. But something was missing, and she couldn’t tell what.

“If you could live anywhere in the world, besides the United States, where would you live?” she asked.

“Not Cuba,” he replied. She laughed. “I think I’d like to live in England. But not London. The countryside. Somewhere quiet.”

She ran her hands lazily over his chest, through the smattering of hair in the middle. Her fingers played over his Crucifix. “I could imagine that. Did I ever mention that I went to England when I was in college?”

He looked down at the top of her head. “No. Would you go back?”

She turned her head upward and laid her chin on his chest. “I’d go anywhere with you.”

His chest tightened. Occasionally, Anna would say things like that, and he never knew what to say back. He cared for her deeply. The word “love” always played at the tip of his tongue. But he didn’t know how to say it. Anna was the only one who could do that to him. So, he hedged. “What’s your favorite breakfast food?”

“Hmm.” She thought for a minute. “Pancakes. Chocolate chip pancakes.”

He sat up. “What do you say we go get some chocolate chip pancakes, then?”

“It’s almost midnight, Rafael,” she laughed.

“So?” He kissed her on the forehead and grabbed her hand. “Live a little.” That was another thing only being with her could do: make him decide to get up after making love, just to get breakfast at midnight.

***

“Come on, Barba, you know we have probable cause to search his apartment,” Detective Sonny Carisi said. “We just need the warrant.”

Rafael rubbed the back of his aching neck. “There is no way I can get you a warrant based on what you’ve got now, which boils down to nothing more than the suspect’s prints in the victim’s house, and, considering he was delivering the Chinese food she’d ordered, it’s not unreasonable for those prints to be there. I need more,” he replied, frustrated that the newly-licensed attorney didn’t seem to recall anything from first year criminal law.

Detective Amanda Rollins came back from the break room, carrying a fresh cup of coffee for herself and also for him. He was grateful; pancakes at midnight with Anna had been a great idea in theory, but he was paying for the sleep deficit today. “What if we get DNA from the house? Something more than prints?” she asked.

“If you can find evidence that he was there longer than your typical pizza delivery guy, then I can probably work with that,” he replied. “But until then, keep digging.”

As he turned to leave, a familiar, heart-shaped face was striding into the squad room toward him. “Hey, guys,” Anna said, acknowledging the rest of the squad first.

“Anna!” Amanda exclaimed. “It’s so good to see you!”

“Hi, Detective Rollins,” Anna replied. “Long time.”

“Please, it’s Amanda. You look fantastic! How’ve you been holding up?”

“I’m good,” Anna said. “I’m actually applying to law school—fall semester, Fordham Law.”

“Oh, hey,” Carisi chimed in. “My alma mater. You need any advice, just—”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Anna said. “I’ve got all the advice I need.” She glanced over at Rafael, whose face had turned a subtle shade of pink.

Olivia smiled and laid a hand on Anna’s shoulder. “Glad you took my advice.”

Rafael cleared his throat. “I, uh, have to get back to the office now. Ms. Stein,” he said, barely acknowledging her, “I’ll see you at our next meeting?”

Anna whipped around. “I—oh. Yeah, next week. Sure.” She was taken aback, but, as Rafael had once said, she had a good poker face. After he left, there was a slightly awkward silence.

“So, Anna, what are you doing here?” Amanda asked. “Did something happen?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that,” Anna said, suddenly caught off guard. The truth was that Rafael’s office had told her he was over here, and she wanted to catch him to see if he wanted to get lunch. But she hadn’t expected him to act so coldly toward her. “I just—uh—Olivia, I wanted to see if you were free for a second. I have a question for you about…”

“The phone call we had?” Olivia offered, rescuing Anna from the situation. “Sure, let’s step into my office.”

Anna had never been as grateful for Olivia Benson as she was at that moment. They had kept in touch over the last year and a half, having coffee or lunch every so often and exchanging emails frequently. It wasn’t Olivia’s practice to develop friendships with victims, but occasionally, one reached her more than others. Anna was one of them; her resilience and determination were inspiring.

Once they were safely in the confines of the office, Olivia gestured for Anna to have a seat on the couch. She brought some tea over and sat down next to Anna.

“Thank you,” Anna said. “I was fumbling out there.”

“Do you mean with the excuse or with Rafael?” Olivia asked, a small smile on her face.

That caught Anna off-guard as much as Rafael’s attitude had. “I—what?”

Olivia cocked her head in the way she did when she already knew the answer to her own question. “I admit, I wasn’t expecting it when I sent you to see him. But you aren’t the victim you were when we met. You’re a survivor, but I think you’re ready for something more than just survival.”

“But the way he just acted out there,” Anna said, gesturing toward the squad room. “You’d never be able to tell…”

“Correction: they wouldn’t be able to tell. Rafael is my closest friend.”

Anna looked at her hands. “I didn’t mean to feel the way I do,” she said sadly. “I really did go to him because I wanted advice. And he was nothing but professional, until…”

“Until you told him off,” Olivia replied, the smile on her face spreading wider.

Anna was astonished. “He told you about that?”

“Like I said, he’s my closest friend. He tried to play it off like he was just disappointed that he couldn’t have helped more. But he has a tell.”

“Oh yeah?” Anna asked, intrigued. “What’s that?”

Olivia shrugged. “He wouldn’t look me in the eye when he said it. Rafael is nothing if not direct and confident. When he doesn’t look me in the eye, I can tell he’s holding something back.”

Anna sighed. “I can feel it.”

“Feel what?”

“I can feel that he’s holding back from me. Sometimes…sometimes, I’ll say something, and he won’t respond. He’ll just move on. I know about him, but I want to know him.”

Olivia looked Anna straight in the eyes then. “He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it.”

Anna chuckled. “Then why did he just act like that?”

“Because he’s afraid that if he doesn’t, he’ll have to admit it to himself, and to everyone else. And that means that if it doesn’t work, he’ll have to admit he failed. That said…”

“What?”

Olivia sighed. “That said, if you want him to admit it, you’re going to have to do what you did before.”

Anna knew what Olivia meant, but she realized she was also afraid of admitting it. If she couldn’t, how could she expect Rafael to? “I get it,” she said.

Olivia smiled. “After everything you’ve gone through, you deserve to be happy. If he makes you happy, then pursue it. And if he doesn’t return those feelings, then, well…at least you’ll know. But take it from me,” she added, “don’t let the possibility of getting hurt keep you from pursuing happiness. If I had done that, I wouldn’t have my son.”

“Thank you, Olivia. For everything. Especially for sending me to him six months ago.”

Olivia stood up to let Anna out of the office. “Of course. My only other option was Carisi, and he’s a good attorney, but…”

“But he’s no Rafael Barba,” Anna finished.

***

Anna had called Rafael’s office to see what his schedule was for the rest of the day. She found out that he had a closing argument that afternoon, so she decided to sneak into the courtroom to observe. It had been a while since she’d watched him in his element, and she wanted to be reminded of the reason she’d fallen for him in the first place. When she entered, he was already close to the end of his summation, so she just stood in the back, close to the door.

Rafael leaned on the jury box. “The defendant in this case didn’t just ask Ms. Thornhill to dinner multiple times. He didn’t just send her flowers. He didn’t just write her love letters. He did all of these things multiple times, despite being told to stop. And when his advances were rejected multiple times, he showed up at her door. When she asked him to leave, he refused. When she threatened to call the police, he got angry. And then he put his hands around her throat and squeezed until there was no breath left in her to reject him again.

“You might be inclined to think, ‘She could have just given him a chance. What would it have hurt?’ But ask yourself this: do we want to live in a society where we tell women that they are required to give their time and energy and—dare I say—affection to someone, just to avoid being killed? And if we do tell them that, how many dates is enough? How many must she give a man before she has satisfied the requirements? Do we really want to go down that road?

“The Declaration of Independence memorializes the rights of our people to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In 1890, Justice Louis Brandeis determined that the right to life included the right to be let alone. That is all Amy Thornhill wanted; to be let alone. The defendant didn’t respect her right to life, but you can, by putting the defendant in prison. Thank you.”

As Rafael walked back to his table, he saw a flash of yellow in the back of the courtroom and knew instinctively that it was Anna. Her canary-colored coat was not exactly subtle. He felt a tightness in his chest, certain she was upset with him for how he had acted that morning. It wasn’t intentional. He wasn’t embarrassed by her. But despite the passage of time, he still did not quite believe that she was going to be around for the long-term. When she began school, she would meet all sorts of younger, more interesting men who had far more time to give her. It wasn’t an easy truth to accept, but he felt he had no other option.

After the defense’s mediocre closing, the judge adjourned for the day. Defense counsel approached him to ask to discuss a plea; apparently his client had become uneasy after Rafael’s closing argument and wanted to see if there was a deal to be made. Rafael was willing to hear him out. It was always satisfying to get a jury verdict, but juries were unpredictable. Besides, with plea deals, the defendant was admitting guilt rather than maintaining his innocence despite the opinion of twelve people in a box.

The courtroom emptied out until it was just him, Anna, and silence. She approached the front of the room and passed by the bar separating the spectators from the attorneys. “Excuse me,” he said, trying to break the tension, “but I believe only licensed attorneys are allowed up here.”

“Call me an intern.”

At least she’s willing to joke with me, he thought. “What are you doing here?”

She shrugged. “I hadn’t seen you close in a while. Just because we’re dating doesn’t mean I don’t still want to learn from you.”

He gave her a lopsided grin. “So did you learn anything?”

“Can we sit?” she asked, ignoring his question.

He nodded and gestured to one of the seats just behind the bar. They sat together, both looking at their hands. It occurred to her that she had no idea how to start this conversation. “Did you want me to come over tonight?” he finally asked. “I could make dinner.”

She shook her head. They had spent almost every night they were together in her apartment. The only time she had been to his place was the first time she had kissed him. It was like he was keeping her out—physically and emotionally. “Maybe I could come to your place instead.”

“I mean…my place is a mess right now. I haven’t been home more than a couple hours a night this week.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Rafael, what are we doing here?”

He avoided eye contact. “What do you mean?”

“I mean we’ve been dating for two months, and we got to know each other for four months before that. Is this going somewhere, or—”

“It hasn’t been that long. What do you want, exactly?”

“I want…” She trailed off, trying to think of how to say it. Then, it dawned on her. “I want the guy I just watched in this courtroom.”

“What does that even mean?”

“When you’re in court? You’re honest. You’re confident. You’re real. I want that guy, because I think that guy is who you are. I see glimpses of him, but only after we’ve made love, and even then, it’s just what I ask about. I want to know what’s in here”—she put a hand to his chest—“because I’ve given you what’s in mine.”

He lifted his eyes, a veritable jungle of emotion, to meet hers. “I didn’t mean to act the way I did today. The problem is, I know what I’m doing in the squad room. I know what I’m doing in this room,” he said, looking around. “I know how to be. I know what to say. I come prepared. But I wasn’t prepared for—for you.”

She felt tears welling in the back of her eyes but held it together. “I wasn’t prepared for you either, Rafael. But here we are anyway. I told you months ago, the stuff we expect least is the stuff that changes us the most.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Then he said, “You don’t know what you’re saying. I’m—you’ll realize—it’s too soon—”

Her eyebrows drew together. “Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m saying, Rafael Barba. You asked if I learned anything today. Well, I did. I learned that there are no rules for how love works. If there were, I wouldn’t want to follow them anyway.”

He stared at her, hard, searching, eyes darting back and forth across her face. Once again, he couldn’t pull the words together. Only Anna, he thought. And then he thought it again. Only Anna. The only words he could think. Only Anna.

“Why me?” he finally asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Her expression softened at his whisper, and she realized that he might be the guy giving the closing argument in court, but he was also this: unable to comprehend that he was worthy of love.

She scooted closer to him and took his face in her hands. “Because even if I had a castle with a library, it wouldn’t mean anything if I didn’t have you in it with me. I love you, Rafael.”

And from somewhere deep inside himself, buried under stacks of legal briefs and former girlfriends and glasses of scotch that drowned the pain, a smile washed over his face. Maybe, he realized, he didn’t have to have the right words. Maybe he just had to spill them from his heart before he could catch them.

“I’d go anywhere with you,” he finally said. “I love you, Anna.”

[digindydig]

Indy’s Stories

Part 4: A Night at Bowser’s

Indy sat back in her chair as she read the article. She sipped her warm tea slowly, trying to ease her hangover. She scrolled down as her laptop showed a picture of the sole survivors of the Endurance. Lara being one of them. It was past noon when Indy awoke from her slumber and the first thing that came to mind aside from her pounding headache, was of none other than Lara Croft. She spend a good hour searching the web before she found what she was looking for.

“So you’re ‘that’ Croft.” She said out loud, seeing the names of those who perished and photos of the original crewmen. But her headaches were making it difficult to pay attention to important information, she decided to give up the searching for now. Closing the laptop,Indy stood from her seat before her phone dinged as a text came through. It was from Lara. Indy had text her back when she awoke. Would a friend like Croft be good for Indy? Or would it be problematic? After all Indy was a thief, she wasn’t an archeologist like Lara or her grandfather. She was just a person with dumb luck and fast thinking. Some of Indy’s finds where based off of pure luck alone. She may not share the title of an archeologist but she was the highest paid raider. She knew her stuff and she was bloody good at it. Indy wanted to continue their conversation on Lara’s field of studies. She wanted to know how extensive Lara’s knowledge for history was, what places had she seen? What mysteries had she uncovered? But why was Indy so interested? Indy had to think on that. Why was Lara so interesting? They did share the same interests. Or was it that there was something else. Indy remembered the feeling she had when around Lara. Relaxed but intimidating.

‘Have to be careful around Croft.’ Indy would probably talk to Felicity about it.

She texted Lara back before she walked into the bathroom for a shower.

Later that night, Indy peered over the balcony, cold wind blowing through her hair, her green eyes focused on the busy street. Instinctively she was scanning the area, mapping out all the possible escape routes, her mind playing out scenarios. Something she found herself doing a lot, it had gotten worst after she came home. Her senses going into hyper drive even when she was out of danger. Adrenaline rushing, her mind racing. She knew that feeling.

“Heal that wound Indy.” She said to herself, she had a week of thinking and now it was time to do what she came to do. Lara had told her to get it done just like Felicity. She had no choice at this point, it had to be done if Indy wanted answers.

“Shit! Easier said than done.” She said out loud, she hung her head in frustration. She kept telling herself it was for a greater cause, too not let her anger get ahold of her when she saw the man. How would she feel when she see’s her sister or Cedric? It will only be a matter of time before Indy’s past is revealed. It will come to bite her in the ass later and she knew it. Indy wasn’t particularly the favorite in the tomb raiding business. Definitely will have a target on her back if news got out on who she was. She was screwed both ways. Was all of this really worth it? To Indy it definitely was worth it. She will pay a visit to the manor in the morning. The side door behind Indy opened. Felicity joined Her on the balcony. She leaned on the railing looking out into the city. In the far distance stood the Millennium Wheel, London’s big Ferris wheel illuminating. It was breathtaking for those who weren’t locals. it still amazed Felicity in how beautiful it looked at night. She still considers it a death trap but she can admit it was nice to look at. Sound of a ding caught her attention, she watched Indy smile at her phone as she’s texting back. ‘Interesting’

“Thought your weren’t the texting type? What’s the special occasion?” Felicity spoke and it broke Indy’s concentration. She snapped her eyes away from the phone to look at her partner. oddly enough she felt like she’d just been caught, like a child with their hands in a cookie jar. Strange for Indy to feel but she ignored the feeling and went to answer Felicity’s question. She knew Felicity was going to tease her to it if she didn’t tell her. ‘Might as well clear the air I suppose.’ She thought to herself.

“Well if you must know, I took you advice yesterday and made a friend.” Indy said. But was Croft a friend? Or will she become a foe? Indy was a bit unease about telling Felicity about her time with Lara. Was it a wise decision to tell Felicity everything? Yes, no doubt, Indy had to tell her even if she did want to keep Lara as a separate friend away from her already crazy ones. But her and Felicity where best friend’s and best friends don’t keep secrets. To Felicity it was a surprise to see Indy interact with people she didn’t know. Normally if It was work related or if you hadn’t met Indy before, she was cold and distant. That was her defense Mechanism. She didn’t blame the kid though. It was good to see her get out of her shell.

“Is that so? So who’s the unlucky girl?” Felicity had a smirk on her lips. Rolling her eyes at Felicity.

“Funny. But how do you know it’s not a guy?” She shot back. Sure she was going to tell Felicity but doesn’t mean Felicity will get her answer the simple way not after that comment anyways. Letting out a small tsk she knew Indy was lying.

“Because you don’t smile when a man texts you. So nice try.” Felicity said. She playfully punched Indy’s arm. Sometimes Indy forgets that Felicity knows a lot about her. After a few more playful bickering about who was person. The balcony door opened again only this time it was the youngest member of their crew. Another Aussie by the name Jai, he announced that their pizza had arrived. They joint the rest of the crew. The warmth of the apartment was welcoming and the smell of fresh food was enough to make Indy’s mouth water. After being out in the wilderness for so long Indy had to survive off the land, only time she would have something decent to eat was when Indy was in some town. She didn’t realize how much the familiar taste of pizza would make her relived to be back home. Moaning as the favor hits her taste buds.

“Do you have any idea how fucking good this taste.” Indy sign happily.

“Careful Pup, don’t burn yourself.” Said Dutch. Dutch born and raised in Fort Willams Scotland. He was the oldest of the group and one of Indy’s mentors. For a man in his fifty’s he was well kept, ex military along with Elias. Dutch was a man that really didn’t care about a persons feelings. In her younger years Indy often butted heads with Dutch but because of that, Dutch respected her for it. Dutch would had knocked someone’s lights out if they had talked to him in any ill form but Indy was special to him. Elias was more easy going. After Indy was old enough to tag along with them, Elias began to rely on Indy intuitions and that’s when they found out what made Indy so special. Photographic memory, the kid remembered everything. It was like hitting a gold mine. Over the years their relationship flourished and they gained more people, those Indy considered trustworthy and loyal. Jonathan Becket or Bowser for short, met Indy in the most unexpected and unforgettable time. Rumors where going around about a rookie who’s been picking up hard jobs and coming back loaded, going by the name Indy. Long story short Bowser took a job to steal an artifact from a museum in the middle of a civil war. Getting in was the easy part until Bowser ran into Indy or more into a heavy cast iron skillet Indy had in her grip. That it self started a game of cat and dog. In the end they turned out working better together. Calum Was Jai’s older cousin, they met through Felicity. Calum unlike the others pushed Indy’s buttons and often questioned her judgments on jobs which infuriated Indy at times but his loyalty showed in the end. He was there because Indy needed Jai. The kid was a technical wizard and a hacker to boot. The kid was still in college and stayed with Calum. Indy had no choice but to deal with man.

They all made small talk throughout the night, had a couple of beers. It was nice and relaxing.

“So what are you going to do about your problem, Pup?” Dutch stood next to Indy. He knew why Indy had to go talk to her family and it annoyed him that Amir wasn’t making things easy for her either. Dutch had become very protective over the years. Shaking her head, Indy chugged her beer before she answered.

“Not so sure, At this point I’ll just go with the flow. I’m going to stop by the manor in the morning to get this all over with.” She said. Once more her attention was taken away by her phone. Felicity placed her hand on Indy’s shoulder.

“Do you need me to go with you?” She offered because she knew this was going to be difficult for Indy.

“Or invite that new friend of yours.” She playfully teased but it made Indy chuckle a bit.

“No, This is something I have to do on my own. And I hardly doubt bringing Lara into the mix would help.” She didn’t know why she let Lara’s name slip from her lips but it was too late to take it back now. Much to Felicity’s delight to finally know the person taken Indy’s attention throughout the night.

“Lara? Hmmm sounds like a girls name to me.” She stated. At what joy did Felicity get out of teasing Indy, Indy didn’t know.

“Yes, Her name is Lara and she’s an archeologist to boot.” She didn’t want to say too much about Lara because she didn’t know the her. They had texted all day about little things unrelated to her family situation. It seemed that Lara was avoiding the conversation only telling Indy to go for it. But it seemed Lara was just as interested as Indy was. She asked about Indy’s line of work and other things. Of course Indy played it smart, not telling Lara too much. But sometimes Indy’s curiosity broke through when Lara spoke about history. She only met Croft last night, she was just a stranger whom Indy was curious about. Indy told Felicity and Dutch about her night at the pub where she met Lara but she left out the part about Yamatai.

“Could be a good asset to the team.” Dutch said but Indy shook her head.

“No, keeping her at a distance is the best for now. Until I can find out more about her.” Indy said. she did think about it but there was something in the back of her mind waving red flags and she took that into consideration, maybe now isn’t the right time.

“Smart. Keeping her at a distance until she can be trusted.” Felicity’s said. Dutch and Indy both agreed. The rest of the night was a blur to Indy. She knew when the morning came she will no longer be safe. But her training had to continue if she wanted to truth, she just hope that she doesn’t lose herself in the process.

It took longer then expected. I don’t own Tomb Raider or its characters. I do own mines. I know I didn’t get into details with the other characters but I’ll try to get to them.

[shy-magpie]

RQG 154

Wherein red stringing occurs. Liveblog under the cut:

 Not much hype this week, just a lot of being quietly thrilled RSB got the beginning of the episode dedicated to us. I hope the rest of the fandom doesn't feel like Bryn plays favorites. Its sweet he back reads and answers questions but its nothing he wouldn't do in official. Last week was such a gift that I think it cut down on hype for this week because even if (Alex forbid) they immediately time skipped to the end of the week, quarantine still got us amazing backstory and character moments. Unless Alex gets truly desperate and has someone attack the inn or infects both the new kids, the characters are safe from physical danger so no fear hype either.

Yes I want follow up on that Hamid & Zolf conversation: I am so proud of him for calling Zolf out on being patronizing (I can't believe I didn't see earlier with his family, of course that's the aspect that got to him) and they need to figure out how to deal with the chain of command. Zolf already seems more willing to get input on his decisions so its mostly losing the attitude when things happen like Hamid casting lights. Yes I also want Cel to talk about themself more, but I am fine with waiting until they aren't locked up with no privacy. Azu's backstory is coming out at a decent pace and Helen spoils us so not even worried about not hearing more about her becoming a paladin. I am curious if Alex thinks its worth bonding with the new kids and this better not be a set up for splitting the party. So enough pre episode babbling, final bets on if they play with the brorb now or wait until they can take it to Cel's? Gotta love that music. Oh they do want to get back to things! Listen to how fast they're talking. That's nice I wouldn't have thought they'd be as excited about the pure RP backstory and character bits as they get about a boss fight. No Alex neither players nor fans want to skip anything. I will concede that further conversation was unlikely to be productive that night so the morning makes sense. There was only one corridor! Barnes is still using the stairs to get some space. Some might see it as a sign he is infected or afraid of infection but honestly not wanting to puppy pile with a group as tight knit as the party especially while they are shaking out their issues is valid. Azu checks on Carter who passed out drunk face down. Zolf is sleeping in. With Hamid's family issues, Bryn being so careful to specify he has a healthy relationship with alcohol every time makes it a lot easier to not tense up listening. Oh My God thanks Bryn! I know he said the beginning of the episode was dedicated to us but I was expecting a throw away line not a proper red stringing scene! I am grinning so big right now. Azu is watching Hamid Cel is sleeping curled up with the sealed bottle of elvish mead. Because Lydia is as much a criminal as Bryn just plays a longer game. Speaking of criminal, Ben really plays up this rivalry from Azu & Zolf covering similar roles and its a really close second to the rank thing between him & Hamid in character arcs I'm interested in. I think both are aiming towards a happy ending but no idea how the middle is going to play out. I don't think it's aiming for a "this party isn't big enough for two of us". Alex is encouraging this. This is great just going to get a clip of this rather than attempt to transcribe on first listen. Bryn/Hamid is laying this out so clearly: The knowns, assumed, and questions are being labeled nicely. (I wonder if our little discord helped him refresh his memory so he'd be able to match how much Hamid would remember in character.) Bryn also goes 3rd person? Hope it isn't a stress tell like Alex. Yes Bryn is obsessed and as a listener its is utterly charming when he shows up in RSB or Official and is unabashedly as big a fan of the show as us. Zolf wakes up to Hamid red stringing. Thank goodness he isn't letting security concerns lead him to putting the brakes on. I know there was some concern that if one of them was infected sharing they could pass on anything they talk about. As long as they don't get too specific about classified info, using the time and frankly just having a project to distract them is a good idea. Plus in my mind Hamid always looks so hurt when Zolf pulls on the reigns. Lilliana is not allowed to be the connecting thread. Oh seed is finally being addressed. Aw Hamid handed Cel a glass of water. It really is the little things I love about this show: 1)told you he has a knack for leadership: anticipating the needs of team members even as they diverge from his own 2)He does see Cel as a team member not just someone he worked with, you don't hear him cooing over Carter 3)does it quickly then moves on, because as a gentleman he thinks it's what anyone would do. 4)speaking of, I wonder that Azu & Zolf haven't done rounds. its not like they have anything to save the spells for and the field is only in the cell.

Svalbard! Do not taunt us, does Ben have any idea how much we want to see the science dwarves of the north? Um hmm, vindi-fing-cation. I know it wasn't exactly a huge insight but the mixture of science and various schools of magic is key to my theory on what “Erasing The Line” refers to. Oh Frankenstein in this world is such a concept. Plus it makes Mary Shelley canon. Aw Alex thought we'd never get to this bit of lore. Thank you Blue Veins info being given as whole instead of bits & pieces.  Ooh and Barnes is taking it. Time to get a sense of who he is when he's not swinging a sword. Navel engagement with Blue Veins? Hive mind! Minimize harm? Not dead. Paladins are complicated, maybe a rumor, maybe transfer of allegiance. Cyborg kraken Cyborg Zolf Oh splitting the kraken to make more Barnes just checks out as the conversation goes over his head Called it I told you it was a sensible test. (ETA Zolf’s fart test) (ETA: Re: people with Blue Veins) No lies, no embarrassment, very literal. Other instances? Riots London->Paris->Europe Not safe to go to London If you're in their presence you are highly likely to be infected, mass infections,  not passed by corpses? Memetic effect? Tick tock. Ben and Alex have one of their friendly tussles as Carter decides its a me may Yes he did! And Helen name dropped us! I know I'm just a little part of the brigade but I'm going to to be smug for at least a week that we are so good at what we do one of the actual players looked to us. Hey Lydia is welcome too. Paperwork time! Yeah yeah I knew security was going to be used to undermine Hamid. At least it isn't Zolf and they aren't trying to make him look rash for the whole idea. Getting new info from the paperwork is a bit different than talking about what they already know. Make the place bigger? Nice spell Zolf. If this leads to Animorphs again... Oh I was thinking more like a big horde somewhere you could check stone in & out of a stone plane of existence ties in with elemental lore right? Seriously "Cure Hangover" isn't a spell? Or do Zolf & Azu just not approve of using their magic that way? Intoxicants have to fall under mild poisoning, right? Do the studying later in the week? That's a fair compromise; even if Zolf is still presenting it as an order he is explaining instead of giving his advice or IDK putting it to a vote. I'm not positive but I think Lydia is suggesting they go over their character sheets in character. Alex is not amused. Lydia sounds pleased with herself. Perception check? Azu hears someone knocking something over upstairs. Azu tries to not wake Carter as she listens at the door. It had to be her foot in his mouth. Multiple people in the inn. Carter tries to pick the lock. Azu & Carter start bickering. Carter is perception penalty. The inn is being searched Zolf suggests they wake Wilde up by making a racket. Cel hears the door being unlocked. Voices speaking muffled Japanese. Cel just shouts "Hey what's going on?". Zolf joins in. Azu uses her armor to make noise. Thump of someone hitting the floor! Wilde's voice! Lots of feet? Yes Helen, what if it is the kobolds? Oh god what if Skraak checked on them and found out they were in cages underground? Poor guy would think Wilde is their Shoin. Bryn clarifies Hamid shouts out to Wilde Zolf forbids them leaving the basement Cel shields themself. Azu goes for her armor Barnes is keeping Carter from going for the lock again. Hamid casts Fear (!oh that’s a new one isn't it) I assume #jail is already full of angst criminals connecting Hamid's bully days and him going from S1!Hamid scared of every fight to now casting fear as a way to control his enemies). Also these better be his enemies because I still don't put it past Alex to set us up for a tragic misunderstanding. Dragon roar and dragon face is how he casts fear Ok Rusty Quill LOTR night sounds awesome Zolf helps Azu put on her armor The other feet flee Zolf cries out for Wilde as loud as he physically can but still won't let them risk infecting Japan by leaving quarantine early. Oh if that ain't a fic and a half. A set of small claws! It is a kobold End the episode with the kobolds?  

[livsoulsecrets]

Incantava AU - Chapter 2: Though she be but little, she is fierce!

Masterpost

Previous Chapter

Summary: Eleonora is in London for some days for her brother’s photograph exposition. In her last night in the city, she is convinced by her friends to go out by herself and have some fun. Unexpectedly, she meets other Italian there, a charming boy named Edoardo. Not knowing much else about him, she takes her friends’ advice and has a one night stand with him, not expecting to see the boy after that. Little did she know they were bound to meet each other again.

August 22nd

📲 Edoardo’s Instagram Post

📲 Eleonora’s Instagram Story

20:47

Ele took a deep breath as soon as she stepped into the street after leaving the hotel.

Her phone was buzzing, probably with the girl’s texts from the group chat. She decided not to take it out her pocket, instead focusing in what was around her while she walked to the pub Filo said she had to visit. Knowing better than taking her brother’s word for it, Ele also sneaked the book she was currently reading in her bag, just in case the place turned out to be boring.

When she got to the bar some minutes later, Ele sat down at the table around the corner and ordered some tea and took A Midsummer Night's Dream out of her bag, being fully aware she was being away too much of a cliche tourist drinking tea and reading Shakespeare. She regretted nothing, though. Filo was, like usual, wrong and the place proved itself to be quite boring, being mostly empty except for Ele and a couple standing in the bar’s balcony, so reading is probably her best option. Her tea is served after a while and she continues to read the book, thinking she would probably be better off leaving soon, since nothing interesting is happening there anyway.

That is when she caught eye of a boy that was sitting by the bar. He had dark curls falling in his eyes and, even from that distance, Ele couldn’t help but lose her breath with how soft his brown eyes were. He was staring already when she looked up and, unlikely what she would have expected, he didn’t break eye contact.

He was so gorgeous that Ele felt her face burning with his eyes on her.

The girls’ words keep coming back to her mind, telling her to get out there, live a little, have fun. It wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot… Maybe he is not even trying to flirt with her and all of this is a product of her bored mind.

Either way, Eleonora decided that, tonight, she was going to be brave.

Until that moment, Ele was trying to not stare too much, keeping a bit of her focus on the book at hand. So when she put the book down, the boy crooked an eyebrow in her direction, intrigued. Despite her many doubts about her impulsive decision, she didn’t look away and smiled.

The boy gets up from where he is sitting and suddenly the almost empty place seems too small for the two of them. For a second, it almost looks like he may come her way, but a man suddenly appeared next to him. The other guy seemed to be concerned for something when he got there, but, the more they talked, the more the man relaxed. The boy that was staring at her before put his hand in his friend’s shoulder and talked softly, calming him down.

Ele was tempted to keep staring at him, but she didn’t want to look like a crazy stalker, so she resumed reading her book, trying to focus again.

— Uh… Well, hi, I’m Edoardo. — Ele shut the book away too fast when she heard the voice that was coming from the little stage in the corner of the bar.

Somehow, she just knew who that voice belonged to.

She wasn’t surprised when her eyes were met with the scene of the boy with dark curls, Edoardo, holding a guitar in his hands and staring at the few people who were in the bar.

— Alright… The singer Leo hired for today is going to be a bit late, so, I will just fill up some of your time until he gets here. — Edoardo explained, a bit of shyness leaking through his words. He recovered quickly though, starting to play the first chords of a melody Ele felt like she knew from somewhere. — When you were here before… Couldn’t look you in the eye, you’re just like an angel, your skin makes me cry.

Eleonora always prided herself in being able to stay focus on what she wanted no matter what.

And yet, here she was.

She can’t take her eyes off of him. Maybe it’s the way he closes his eyes when he sings or how soft his voice sounds in English, with the hint of an accent she recognizes. Maybe it’s the moments where he opens his eyes just for a bit and they seem to find their way back to hers.

Whatever the reason is, Ele can’t tell herself to go back to her book and stop paying attention to Edoardo.

Perhaps it’s because she simply doesn’t want to.

— But I'm a creep... I'm a weirdo, What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control, I wanna a perfect body... I wanna a perfect soul.

Either way, the songs seems to end just as abruptly as it began and Ele is brought back to reality with a bit of a shock.

Edo plays another two songs until the hired singer shows up in a rush, but Eleonora has to admit she didn’t really listen to anything after the first song, too focused in analyzing the boy while he wasn’t able to take notice of it.

So when Edoardo leaves the stage to go get some water, Eleonora thinks he won’t pay much attention to her again.

She is quickly proved wrong when he walks right in her her direction.

Surprised and speechless, Ele waits.

He gets closer, the water bottle on his hand, the playful smile he had all the time while singing not going anywhere.

— A Midsummer Night’s Dream? — Edoardo asks, pointing at her book, forgotten at the table.

Perhaps confirming his brown eyes were just as soft standing this close as they were all the way across the room does something to Eleonora’s insides, but she will not be the one to admit it either way.

— Yes… It seemed like the right place to read it again, as cliche as it sounds. — Ele answers, still unsure of what she is doing. He turns his eyes to the empty seat across from her and it is like he is asking if he can sit.

Ele has never been very good at flirting, but she likes the little game they have going on, so she bends her neck, silently telling him to give her a good reason to let him stay.

— “Though she be but little, she is fierce.” — Ele doesn’t know what she was expecting as an answer to her silent question, but that was not it. — That is my favorite quote of this book. Guess I’m a bit of a cliche too. — Ele smiles without even taking notice of it and indicates the chair in front of her with her head. The boy sits down, a playful smile on his face, and she tries not to freak out too much over talking to a complete stranger.

Well, that is why she carries a pepper spray around: preparing for the risks.

After living such a carefully calculated couple of years, she can’t help but feel like she deserves one night of carefree decisions.

— I’m Edoardo. — He says, extending his hand across the table. — But I guess you know that already.

— Indeed. I’m Eleonora. — She answers, taking his hand and shaking it. — You are not from here, are you?

— No, but I have lived here for a year now. The accent is not going anywhere though. I’m from Italy. — He explains and Ele wonders if destiny is playing with her somehow.

— Oh, really? I’m from Italy too!

— We are everywhere, aren’t we?

— We really are! It is insane. — She stops for a second, considering what to do next. — Do you always quote Shakespeare to random girls? — Ele asks, wondering what made he pay such a close attention to her.

— Oh, you caught me, that is all I ever do of my nights. — And it is a dumb answer, of course, but that doesn’t stop Ele from laughing.

— Why did you move here?

— You make a lot of questions, you know?

— And you are not very good at answering them. — Eleonora says back easily and Edoardo nods, agreeing with her, the same playful smile resting in his face, making it harder for Eleonora to look him in the eyes without feeling her face getting hot.

— Fair enough. — He complies. — Let’s switch it, then, why did you come here?

— My brother had a photography exposition in a gallery over here, it ended today.

— You are leaving soon, I assume?

— I’m going back home tomorrow.

— I’m going back in a week. For good, I mean. As much as I love London, it isn’t home. — Edoardo reveals.

— I understand, London is awesome, but I don’t think I could give up on Rome for any other city. — Ele agrees.

— Oh… So you going back to Rome, too? That is where I’m moving back to.

Ele almost looks around the place to see if this isn’t a prank Filo is playing on her because it sounds insane that she ended up flirting with the one italian boy in a bar located in the middle of London.

— Guess we will have to make the most of the time we do have left here. — Edo says and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Ele the way he bites his lip after suggesting it. — What do you want to do in your last night?

— I barely know you. — Ele says back, trying to stop herself from laughing and sound as serious as possible. — What if you are a serial killer trying to abduct me?

— Abduct? What am I, an ET? — This boy definitely has no regard for Ele’s heart. If he keeps smiling like that, she may do something dumb like giving in to his suggestion. — But, okay, okay, that is a honest doubt. — He seems to recover himself a bit from Ele’s answer to look her in the eyes again. — Alright, then! We can let destiny decide it for us.

— Destiny will decide if you are a serial killer or an ET? — Ele grins when he rolls his eyes at her, as if they are old friends with an inside joke.

— Of course not… Destiny will decide what we should do. — He says, as excited as a little child about to get a candy with his new idea. Ele is not sure why she is so easy to trust him, but she nods, indicating she may agree with him.

— Okay… And how do we do it?

— Reading, of course. — He says, as if it is obvious. Ele feels halfway between annoyed and flustered with the way he looks at her after saying such thing.

— Are you going to elaborate on that or…

— It is simple: you open the book in the page you were reading and we do whatever it is telling us to do.

— Well… Guess we’re lucky I wasn’t reading Romeo and Juliet or we would have some serious issues. — Ele whispers just loud enough so he can hear it and it’s adorable how he grins back to her. — Can’t believe I’m doing this, but, here we go: the last sentence I read was “My soul is in the sky”.

Edo stayed silent for some seconds until a smile tugged at his lips. It was a good look on him. But, if she was going to be honest, everything seemed to be a good look on that boy.

— That means we should… Look at the sky? — Eleonora wonders, a little too involved with Edo’s suggestion to her own liking.

— Yes! I mean, if you are sure I’m not a serial killer…

— Or an ET.

— Of course, how could I forget the other hypothesis? If you are convinced I’m not a serial killer nor an ET, then, I may know the perfect place to do that.

She tried to resist, God knows she did.

— Okay, guess I’ll have to trust your word.

— Promise you won’t regret it. — Ele hoped he was right.

— Considering I met you some minutes ago, I might. You are a stranger, after all.

— You keep insisting on that, but it is not true! You know my name and watched me singing. I know which book you are reading and where you are from. I have gone to high school with people I knew less about! — Ele laughs, unsure if there is any logic to his thought process.

— If you say so, Edoardo… — Ele trails off.

— You can call me Edo. — It is all he answers, his eyes never leaving hers.

— Not sure if we are this close yet. — Ele mocks and he only shakes his head in disapproval as response while laughing.

Still, she accepts his crazy idea.

And, what is even more surprising, when Edo heads to the restaurant’s exit, she follows.

Next Chapter

[writingpcges]

— "i have a horrible feeling I am a greedy, perverted, selfish, apathetic, cynical, depraved, morally bankrupt woman who can’t even call herself a feminist." - fleabag

MANNERISMS:

What words or phrases do they overuse?

she uses the word ‘basically’ a lot. she also definitely overuses her britishisms but that’s mainly because she’d been living there for the last few years. favouite curse word is ‘fuck’. ends too many sentences with the word ‘me’.

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic?

ellie will tell you she’s a realist, though she does tend towards optimism, particularly when it comes to the outcomes of certain events in her life. 

What bad habits do they have?

speaking before she speaks, drinking way too much coffee (and as a result has developed an unhealthy addiction to breath mints, seriously she’s always gone some on her person!), nail biting/picking (particularly when she’s nervous/bored), flirting before thinking (she’s sure your partner is great, she just didn’t consider their existence), pouting until she gets what she wants.

What makes them laugh out loud?

friends reruns, friends in general, lana sullivan. she’s also the sort to laugh at her friends embarrassments/trip ups but would also be the first to bail you out in a bind so figurers that balances things out. 

How do they display affection?

little touches (on your arm, your shoulder, your lower back), little gifts/things she’s seen that remind her of you, sending random texts/pictures throughout her day, sharing anecdotes/gossip. 

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider?

she’s an impulsive little sun of a gun, just ask lana. she detests feeling stuck and that has driven her to make many questionable decisions and has resulted in the breaking down of some important relationships in her life. 

How do they react to praise?

she THRIVES off of it. like tinkerbell she needs applause and praise to live. 

How do they react to criticism?

she’ll tell you she can take it, and that’s not totally untrue, as an actress she has developed a fairly thick skin but she only really takes constructive criticism well. trolly comments on the internet will send her into a tailspin and often result in her seeking some outside affirmation of her awesomeness (often in the form of hookups or friendly cheerleaders). 

What is their philosophy of life?

work hard and be kind. 

When was the last time they cried?

professionally? daily, her current project requires a lot of mental gymnastics. personally? after meeting up with lana. 

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

apart from forever appearing ageless?? physically she wouldn’t mind being a little taller, but she thinks her face is nice and her ass is good so she happy with her appearance. there are a lot of internal things she’d change about herself but mainly she’d like to be braver and a little more vulnerable about the things that matter with the people she loves. 

What is their obsession?

herself?? sex?? skin care??

What are their pet peeves? 

she does get annoyed easily and pinning down what will set her off from one day to the next isn’t an exact science but some things that never fail are slow walkers, people who talk on their phone in public, traffic (she probs shouldn’t drive bc the road rage is real), and people who insist on continuing conversations when she’s clearly checked out. 

FRIENDS&FAMILY:

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of?

pretty small, just her dad, step mum and gran left. 

What is their perception of family?

family used to be everything but after her mum passed ellie hasn’t been super connected to her family, with the exception of her gran who is her favouite person in the whole world. 

Do they have siblings? Older or younger?

she’s an only child, i’m sure this surprises no one. 

Describe their best friend.

the real yin to her yang and the one person she will never put the moves on because it would totally ruin their vibe. also it would be weird because they are basically sisters at this point. if ellie is ever able to sit still long enough to sit and think things through things it is down to this person. big mom friend vibes. 10/10 angel on earth. 

Do they have any pets?

oh god no, she shouldn’t be trusted to care for a living creature. 

PAST&FUTURE:

What was your character like as a teen?

not unlike herself now, which speaks to her emotional maturity but much more moody and reckless, very little regard for the consequences of her actions, and pretty listless/unmotivated. she’s since learned to reel some of that in as she’s focussed on her career. 

Did they grow up rich or poor?

middle class, they were comfortable, but they didn’t go on holiday every school break or anything. 

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected?

nurtured, but when she lost her mum she an her dad started to neglect each other. 

What is their greatest achievement?

winning a bafta. 

What was their first kiss like?

awkward and the result of a game of spin the bottle gone wrong -- she’d really wanted to kiss matt jones but instead the bottle had landed on rory tyler. 

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved?

LEFT THEM AT THE ALTAR?! 

What are their ambitions?

she’d really like to have a career that lasts past her 35th birthday

What advice would they give their younger self?

hang in there, be kinder to mum, go easier on dad, don’t forget to keep your promises. 

What smells remind them of their childhood?

cinnamon sugar and french toast, mum would make it every sunday. 

What was their childhood ambition?

to be an actress and a unicorn doctor, so she’s definitely lived up to some of her childhood ambitions!

What does their five-year plan look like?

become a house hold name, successfully bake banana bread, take a dance class, learn to play piano, take someone she loves to an awards show. 

LOVE:

Do they believe in love at first sight?

no, not even a little which is funny because she is definitely the sort to fall quickly. 

Are they in a relationship? Are they in love?

no, but she is still in love with her ex so that’s fun. particularly for someone whose default is to seek vey surface level/fun ‘relationships’.

How do they behave in a relationship?

depends on the relationship and the person, honestly. ellie hasn’t been in many serious relationships because she typically bolts at the first sign of feeeelings as she tends to lean towards her need for freedom rather than commitment but on the rare occasion her heart has fallen before her brain was able to catch on she’s been quite happy to hermit with her partner. she becomes so smitten the idea of wanting someone else escapes her completely. 

When did your character last have sex?

probably last night. or this morning. she’s a ho and she doesn’t like to be alone. that’s when things like thinking happen and that’s no good! 

Has your character ever been in love?

yes, twice. and both instances left her gutted. 

Have they ever had their heart broken?

she has, but in the end it’s usually by herself as she has the tendency to leave before she gets left. 

Are they crushing on anyone now? Tag them!

lana (and also probs sabrina lbh): @lauralaword​ , sean: @gapsofsvnlight​ , quinn: @sonderbound​ , and probs pyper: @chvrryglcss​ bc she seems emotionally unavailable and ellie likes a challenge, plus she a babe. guys i said she’s a ho. 

WORK&LIFE:

What is their current job?

actress, she’s also an aspiring screen writer/playwright and director, but that’s mainly born of fear of what she’ll do when the industry decides she’s too old to play a lead

What do they think about their current job?

loves it, a +, everything she’d hoped it be even if the hours are maybe a bit longer than she’d like and she doesn’t always love feeling like she has to hide parts of herself from rabid fans/news sources, but she likes her privacy. 

What are some of their past jobs?

bag girl, ride attendant, bartender (at uni), nanny, waitress, and snow white for a tick!

What are their hobbies?

she likes to read and netflix, but her main hobby is bugging her mates until they entertain her. 

Educational background?

went to the royal academy of dramatic art in london where she studied acting. 

Do they have a natural talent for something?

photography, the written word, charming her way into your pants. 

Do they play a sport? Are they any good?

no, she does not sport well nor does she understand any of the rules. her disdain for football is just another point of contention between her and her father. 

MISC:

What is in their fridge?

a half drank bottle of vodka, seltzer, diet coke, some probiotics she never takes and a variety of take out containers. she does not cook. 

What is on their bedside table?

cellphone charger, a book she’s been trying to finish for ages, and a sound machine. 

What kinda car do they drive, and is their car messy or clean?

honestly she couldn’t tell you the make or model unless she read the manual butt it gets her to auditions and that’s all that matters. it’s basically always got at least three changes of clothes and a takeaway coffee cup and/or wrapper somewhere so if you think that’s messy...  

Do they carry a purse? What is in their purse or wallet?

usually, but if she’s out at retrograde she’ll pair her essentials down to things that can fit in her pocket -- basically that means a lip (red if she’s feeling feisty or insecure), her debit card, her cell and some mints. her purse has at any given time four different lips, a chapstick, some gloss, three packs of gum, mints, a pack of emergency smokes (for when things get intense and she needs to break her clean streak), her wallet, a compact, an umbrella, and so many receipts! 

What is in their pockets?

if she has her purse they’re likely empty, if she doesn’t all the things. also sometimes her hands when she doesn’t know what to do with them. 

What is their most treasured possession? 

her mums wedding band, she wears it basically all the time on her index finger. 

[elleberquist6]

Believe in Me - chapter thirty-two

Summary: Dan Howell is living at home while he’s saving money for college, which isn’t easy since his parents don’t understand him. Unlike them, he loves dogs, is a vegetarian, has no interest in the family business, and he despises the supernatural. He struggles to accept things that are illogical, even though he is a kitsune. Kitsune are foxes whose powers involve the ability to cast illusions, but Dan just wants to be normal. Phil Lester has just moved to London, where he works as a dog walker. When his path crosses with Dan, Phil is eager to get to know him. Unfortunately, Phil soon finds that being friends with Dan is far more complicated than he could have imagined.

Rating: Mature Word Count: 1850 Warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

—

Kitsune fact: One belief is that when a kitsune changes shape, its hoshi no tama holds a portion of its magical power. Another tradition is that the pearl represents the kitsune's soul; the kitsune will die if separated from it for long. Those who obtain the ball may be able to extract a promise from the kitsune to help them in exchange for its return. For example, a 12th-century tale describes a man using a fox's hoshi no tama to secure a favor:

 "Confound you!" snapped the fox. "Give me back my ball!" The man ignored its pleas till finally it said tearfully, "All right, you've got the ball, but you don't know how to keep it. It won't be any good to you. For me, it's a terrible loss. I tell you, if you don't give it back, I'll be your enemy forever. If you do give it back though, I'll stick to you like a protector god."

The fox later saves his life by leading him past a band of armed robbers. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitsune]

Phil got a call from a number that he didn’t know while he was dropping off Rotty at his home. The number was local though, so he answered curiously, “Hello?”

“Hello, is this Phil Lester?”

“Um, yes?” Phil responded nervously.

“I work for security at the mall. I’m calling on behalf of Daniel Howell, who provided me with your contact information. He fainted and is currently resting on a sofa in the security office. Someone needs to pick him up.”

Phil took a deep breath to calm himself. “I’m coming. Thank you.”

When the security officers directed him to the empty office where they said Dan was sleeping, Phil hesitantly pushed open the door, unsure what he expected to see. Like the mall security had said, Dan was stretched out on a sofa. His eyes were closed and his hand was hanging off the side with his fingers brushing the floor, the sight of which bothered Phil. Phil hastily shut the door and ran to the side of the sofa, gently picking up Dan’s hand by the wrist and placing it on his stomach.

Dan’s eyelids fluttered. He looked at the hand now resting on his stomach and then at Phil. His eyes widened. “You.”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Phil knelt beside the sofa and brushed the hair back from Dan’s forehead, noting how clammy and pale his skin was. “How do you feel, sweetheart?”

Dan ignored his question and tugged on the front of Phil’s shirt. Phil leaned closer, thinking that Dan was trying to kiss him, but Dan’s pawing at his shirt only became more frantic and he shot Phil an annoyed glance. “Where is it? What have you done with it?”

Phil shook his head. He thought he knew what Dan was asking about, but his tone confused him and the wildness in his eyes was scary.

It became even more terrifying when Dan’s eyes welled with tears and his chest started hitching with sobs. “What do you want with it? It’s mine. It won’t do you any good. Give it back please.”

Phil shook his head. “You told me to hold it for you. I can’t give it back now. We’ve only just started. I’ll give it back to you eventually, but it’s safe for now. Don’t worry.”

These words only seemed to upset Dan further. “You don’t understand, I need it. I need it right now. I can feel the empty place where it is supposed to be like a gaping hole, and it hurts. Why do you want me to feel like this? I thought you loved me.” He ignored the way that Phil shook his head and the pained expression on his face. Dan continued, “At least let me hold it for a second. Please. I’m so weak right now.”

“Let him hold it,” said a voice.

Phil looked around, but he didn’t see anyone. The voice was familiar though, so Phil guessed, “Adam? Are you here?”

Adam appeared at his side and nodded. “Let him hold it for a minute. He’s hurt and it will help.”

Phil nodded and pulled the watch out of his shirt by the chain. Dan grabbed for it and clutched the watch. The motion jerked Phil’s neck at a slightly uncomfortable angle, but he quickly forgot at the sight of Dan closing his eyes and shaking while clutching the watch with a white-knuckled grasp. Phil shifted wide eyes to Adam’s face. “What happened to him?”

Adam snorted as he stared at Dan. “That’s his hoshi no tama, isn’t it? The idiot tried to cast a massive illusion without it – the source of his power. He could have accidentally killed himself.”

Phil swallowed heavily as he looked at Dan, who was still shuddering. He could have lost Dan today; he didn’t know how to process this information, so he just stared at Dan’s face, noting the signs of life there as Dan breathed in short, puffing breaths.

“So,” Adam said, drawing Phil’s attention. “My brother is trying to become human?”

Phil nodded warily, remembering the fact that someone in Dan’s home had ripped the information about becoming human out of a book.

Adam frowned, looking at the death grip that Dan had on the watch. “I should have known he would do something like this. I shouldn’t have told him to cast an illusion. Of course the stupid kid wouldn’t know he could hurt himself like this if he didn’t have his hoshi no tama. This is my fault.”

Phil sighed, tired of the Howell family’s constant guilt trips – he didn’t mind offering reassurances, but he was kind of worn thin after all that Dan had required of him recently. Still, he had to try, so he said, “It’s not your fault, Adam. You couldn’t have known that Dan and I had decided to do this.”

“I should have known,” Adam said with a shake of his head before focusing on Phil again. “So, did you guys figure out what kind of kitsune he is? Is it something bad?”

“Yes, we think he’s a nogitsune. We read a description, and it seemed to fit. He didn’t feel like himself the other day. He pulled some pranks that went too far. He even quit his job, walking out in the middle of a shift because he couldn’t remember why he was working. He just wants to be himself again, and this is a way to make that happen. I’m not pressuring him to do this – I just want to help him.”

Adam nodded. He looked like he was about to say something when he glanced at Dan, and his attention was caught by the tremor that shook Dan’s body.

Phil stared helplessly at Dan too, unsure what to do. Adam seemed to think that holding the hoshi no tama would help, so Phil didn’t know what to do but wait. As he sat there, he thought of something that he needed to ask and started hesitantly, “Adam… do you know why a book in your grandma’s library would have pages torn out of it? The pages that we needed to read to know about hoshi no tama? I’m just wondering because you seem to know about this stuff, and we had to go online to find it.”

“Hmm…” Adam mused, not seeming too interested in the topic, but he answered Phil. “I don’t know who would do that to Grandma’s book. I’ve never been too interested in her library, but I know what I do because she told me. When I became a spirit, she talked to me about hoshi no tama because if I become human I could get my body back. The funny thing was that she said not to tell anyone else what she had told me, it had to be our secret.”

Phil stared with wide eyes at the watch clasped in Dan’s hands as he asked, “Adam, did you try it? Did you try to become human and it didn’t work?”

Adam snorted. “No, I’m not giving anyone my hoshi no tama. There’s no human who I would trust with it, no offense.”

Phil returned Adam’s smirk, and then they looked back to Dan. Dan had finally relaxed with sleep, as his breathing had evened and his grip had slackened around the watch. “He looks a bit better,” Phil commented, noting that Dan’s skin was less sweaty and pale.

“Yeah, he does.” Adam cleared his throat. “Listen, Phil… you’ve got this, right? Can I leave him with you?”

Phil looked up with narrowed eyes. He asked in a hard voice, “Are you bored again?”

Adam shook his head. “It’s just that I feel awful about today. I could have gotten him killed. I don’t know how I’ll be able to look him in the eyes when he wakes up.”

Phil frowned. “He’s not going to blame you.”

“I blame me,” Adam said as he rose from his knees and started for the door. “Bye, Phil.”

Phil watched the spirit fade from sight just before he passed through the door. He sighed as he looked at Dan, wishing that he had some help. He wasn’t sure what Dan was going to be like when he woke up, and the memory of the suspicious and wild-eyed Dan from earlier was scary. As he thought about it, Phil decided to bring Dan back to the funeral home, where maybe his grandmother would have some advice.

“Hmmm,” Dan sighed, making Phil’s eyes dart to his face. Dan gave him a wide smile as he shifted sleepily on the sofa, the watch completely forgotten as he stretched. “Phil…”

“Hi, sweetheart,” Phil said with a startled laugh as he ran his fingers through Dan’s curls “How do you feel?”

“Sleepy. Really tired actually.” Dan bit his lip as he looked at Phil with worried eyes. “Why am I so exhausted? Where am I? I don’t remember how I got here. The last thing I remember was hanging out with my brother at the mall.”

“You’re still in the mall. Don’t worry. You’re fine.”

Dan took a deep calming breath. “I don’t feel fine. I feel like I need to sleep for like a decade. What’s wrong with me?”

“It’s okay,” he said as he rubbed Dan’s arm soothingly. “You’re going to be fine. We were just about to leave. We’re going home, and then you can take a nap.”

“Alright, let’s go then.” As Dan sat up, exhaustion settled over him and he became putty in Phil’s hands.

Phil helped him to stand up and walk to the door, and then down the hallway. As Dan leaned against him, Phil reveled in the familiarity of the body pressed against him – his warmth and softness. He knew this body so well, and he took comfort in it. Because Phil couldn’t shake the uneasiness that he felt at the thought of the wild-eyed person who had grabbed at the watch around his throat. That person didn’t seem like his Dan. So, who had he been?

[dwestfieldblog]

DOOMSCROLLING

Rocking and doomscrolling in an Eigenstate, the English Variant is here...All virtue signalling wannabe edgelords,  sleepwalking ’woke’ automatons, fake Christians, Faustian Republicans, corrupt Conservatives and retarding neophobes look away now. Little more than domesticated primates, a majority of larval humanity continues to ignore its astral biology...yes really. ‘Those who control symbols control us’.  And Pavlov dogs do love flags eh? Here is a balanced, mostly unpretentious finite rant for breakfast where the opinion arises from triple checked facts rather than mere emotion.  In God we rust.

Straight off...Disgusted to rage by the English government’s March budget which gives  nurses a ‘pay rise’ equivalent to three pounds fifty pence a week, (which doesn’t even begin to cover the cost of their parking at hospitals) the disdain these arrogant swine feel for truly essential workers is revealed in full. The ‘Heath’ minister explained that times were tight due to Covid...yes Matt, fairly sure the nurses working 18 hours a day had already noticed this in their desperately overworked, overcrowded hospitals. Deeply in debt, Britain plans to borrow 355 billion pounds this year, the highest amount in her history. Corporation tax will possibly increase in 2023, a little late to balance wages elsewhere for nurses etc...And given the previous ten years, highly unlikely it would even be used for such. But it might look good to those brainwashed gimps that STILL plan to vote for this bastardly corrupt party in 2024.

A clip taken in March of an exceptionally long queue for a food bank in London brings it all into sharper focus. The 6th richest economy in the world has the most food banks of any democratic country. Over 2000 in the UK. (Over 900 in Germany.) Hate to come across as a Socialist but The Tories have been in power for ten long years, historically destroying the NHS a bit more each time they hold power. Endlessly subcontracting, pouring money into new unneeded tiers of management, slowing operations down with extra paperwork, voting down pay rises, thus expediting a brain drain of doctors, nurses and surgeons to other countries and private practices...and over the last thirteen months, supplying those who stayed, with mountains of  PPE equipment not fit for purpose. A ‘jolly good show’ handclap every evening on doorsteps doesn’t fecking cut it. Neither do all the rainbows drawn by children put into windows. In fact, Boris, it looks like outright damn cynicism. All the more since your dose of the virus (‘I visited the Covid ward and shook hands with everyone’) was healed by excellent work by the NHS. Mr. Boris ‘No government could have done more’. Johnson...a lot of us are keeping score.

Lord Bethell, (‘Parliamentary under secretary of State for Innovation at the Department of Health and Social Care’) said that nurses are ‘well paid’ for the job they do, reiterating that times are hard; ‘There are millions of people out of work on the back of this epidemic’. Well yes there are. And why? A government which dragged its heels many times after salient scientific advice, prognoses/ projections were given, and allowed three massive social gatherings (384,000 people) to take place for superspreading, as well as conflicting advice about masks, herd immunity and confusion over open borders, schools to return for one day, etc...All of which led to the dire need for total lockdowns and the impossibility to sell or go to work (unless working from home) leading in turn to unpaid rent/bills, evictions, bosses laying off those they cannot afford to pay. And to mention again, the Tories have been the ones in power for ten years...with banking scandals (where chiefs were not punished but the public were twice, once by collapses and once for raised taxes to prop up the greed). The expenses scandal of politicians, massive public service cutbacks, corruption, the smug George Osbourne guiding Britain disgracefully to poverty via austerity, a National Health service being encouraged to disintegrate and’ an oven ready’/tramps breakfast scraps Brexit...and LO!... the coffers are indeed a little empty thanks to all the contracts tossed without oversight to the governments mates without due process, including 37 billion pounds spent on a Test and Trace programme which did not function, 252 million AND 6000 pounds a DAY to ‘consultants (for the essential chimera of PR etc).Chumocracy at highly profitable work.

Over to you Boris, ‘...it is thanks to PRUDENT FISCAL MANGEMENT that we have been able to fight this pandemic in the way that we have.’

Well exactly.

A dishevelled adult leader of a country who cannot even brush his hair or dress himself, a ‘leader’ who missed five vital COBRA meetings about the pandemic, never took in the notes from scientists of advance warnings and blustered his pompous comedy horseshite rather than leading from the front. Father of six or perhaps 7 illegitimate children (does he pay child support? No records). But never mind eh, he is a rum sort of cove. No. Churchill would have him horsewhipped naked and tarred and feathered in Trafalgar Square. But still! When questioned on whether there would be an inquiry into the colossal waste without recompense or standard clauses in contracts of taxpayers’ money raped from the Treasury, Mr Johnson replied that it was ‘NOT IN THE PUBLIC INTEREST’. Really. REALLY? Boris, if you were a catheter, you could not extract more urine than you already do. The clown father of the motherland. BJ said he took ‘full responsibility’ for the massive number of fatalities. But hasn’t resigned.127 thousand covid deaths in UK, leading Europe by 33 thousand.  Well played chaps. 545 thousand USA. China 4636. Yeah RIGHT. Sure.

Once knew a guy who, if you told him something factual, most often replied with ‘Well, it’s the first I’ve heard of it’...meaning anything he had not already been told was automatically false. How did he ever learn new information? Neophobes, their insecurities heavy chains to evolving, seem to rule the world; Good news is they don’t. Bad news is, they know it and are getting ever more desperate the rest of us go down with them in righteous conservatism and counter evolution. ‘Perception does not consist of passive reception of signals but of an active interpretation of signals...active, creative trans-actions’...‘The easier you can predict a message, the less information the message contains’. If a media source etc attempt to relay actual news and it does not fit what is already believed, it is disregarded or worse...GIGO...Garbage In=Garbage Out.

The pandemic is doing great things for the further global rise of populist swine...When the mass public mind is aflame with anger and fear, new bastards step up and old governments impose harder laws. Hungary loses her last independent radio station and Orban rejoices. Brazilian bastid Bolsanaro continues to see his people as expendable inhuman statistics. By their hatred he will burn. 301 thousand dead. Totalitarianism creeps apace via populist chancers, Stalinist fascists, nationalist bullshitters who care far more about their ego than their country. (Hello frog eyed Nigel Farage aka Lord Haw Haw the 2nd.) Speaking of which...Lord Mayor of London wannabe Laurence Fox bought a mask exemption badge online because he didn’t want his pretty face to be unrecognised. Narcissist, who as leader of a new party Reclaim, wants to ‘take back’ Britain from the Woke snowflakes (even while speaking like a laidback Establishment version of them) and end up in Parliament. Good for you luvvie. But now with acting career ended and music career failed, he does look a lot like a pretty poster boy who needs to stay adored and recognises (along with his string pulling financial backers) there is a bandwagon to be jumped on. In 8 years time he (or someone similar in insecure need for others approval to give vent to their sadistic impulses) could be a new type of prime minister and the V for Vendetta pre-scenario will be in full swing. ‘Politicians should wear sponsor jackets like Nascar drivers, then we know who owns them’ Robin Williams via Jonathan Pie. No one from Texas should be allowed to be president...and no one from Eton (or Harrow) should ever be allowed to be Prime Minister. Apart from Churchill.

Sometimes it takes a nightmare to wake one up...an authoritarian dystopia coming soon to a land mass near you...a failed state and a divided kingdom of Mediocre Britain with bad laws for her citizens but great if you are a ‘public servant’ or a friend of those that are. Probably a good thing for Euope that we are an island eh? We turned our back on them and they can cast us adrift like an oil tanker filled with toxic waste. Sunak or Patel next? Will the ‘Elite’ (Ha) allow a person of colour to rise to the depths of Prime Minister? The entire cabinet should be sent to a Chinese prison. Avaricious liars. If you don’t stir the cream it turns into scum.

And speaking of destroying your country from inside....

Oh America... just watched the Idaho mask burning clip in Boise, adults encouraging children to pick up discarded masks, pathogens, all with bare hands and drop into the garbage bin flames...inhaling the formaldehyde smoke... Freedom! End lockdown now! Breathe deeply rednecks. So looking forward to having a black woman president over there. Please be better than all these useless white trash MORONS...Q Onan, the ‘storm’ (in a beer can), the ‘plan’, ‘where we go one, we go all’...right down the toilet of history into the sewers of oblivion. Good riddance to foul rubbish, Believers anxious for orders from ‘Christians’ who are actually serving what they would call ‘Satan’. Ironic on the darkest level, no? LOOK at their faces, into their eyes, naught but greed for power. Two thousand years of inverted truths. ‘Religion’ became consumed by ‘the Devil’. Discuss with yourself after watching the majority of preachers.

The Trumps, Hawley, Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Bannon, the Mercers, Paula White, Stella Immanuel and the Gawd awful Marjorie Taylor Greene should be sent alone, foodless to a small island surrounded by sharks. And filmed for our entertainment. And oh...that dumbass disgusting false idol kitsch gold statue (to celebrate his love of golden rain) of Donald, created via Mexico and China in artistic irony. And, and AND the Republican senators against any background checks for those who want to own guns. (Seven mass killings this year already by armed wankers.) Britain, Europe and America, unions encouraged, persuaded to break apart into hexagram 23 while China and Russia grin. Q seems like a new form of right wing bullshite to rally the dumb against what they perceive to be the ‘left wing’ rebellion of Anonymous. I think Q originated in the Kremlin myself. An electronic baobab seed...

Back to my birthland...New powers of arrest looming for ‘Non Crime Hate Incidents’, and a new police bill of up to ten years prison for silent protest. One almost expects this in (arf) lesser countries with pantomime dictators, but on the septic, excuse me, sceptre’d isle of Britain? An obvious Government first shot reaction against what they know might be coming for their dire mishandling of the pandemic, loss of jobs and no real support for the underlings...Governments ARE afraid of their people, that’s why enough laws are passed (with minimum debate or under cover of smokescreen news events) to ensure all those not wealthy and well connected are in daily risk of being arrested for ‘criminality’. So be sure to be obedient to your ‘public servants’.

Ahh.. enough eh? Apolitically incorrect, radical liberal, fundamentalist atheist, remember the Tar Baby idea Dave, the more you attack something, the more you are attached to it. Let it go brother. The difference between being frozen in stasis and empty with Zen calm. But to paraphrase Robert Anton Wilson, (as I am so often wont to do) thanks to our own programming, when we do not frequently examine and cross check our input we become full of Self Hypnotic Ideational Trance. Dogmas must be only transitory, flow river, flow...

Bells Theorem? Pretty good but this is mostly Jameson’s (with Czech spring water) theorem. In confession, I crave your indulgence, Invoke Often, Repeat repeat repeat, ‘How far is it, if you can think of it?’ Transduction of thoughts into chemicals...surfing the neuropeptides and there you stood on the edge of your feather expecting to die, A skeleton breastfeeding a priest, and if that mocking bird don’t sing, daddy’s gonna break off both its wings. Whoops. The optical illusion of a rainbow halo as beautiful as ‘God on drugs’.  Melancholy melophile, melomaniac and melomaniacal, I am an Audiophile in the paralysis of rapture...Ahh...and now I have obtained an elegant sufficiency, multitasking in five time zones. Left frontal lobe digital (manual) moving to Right frontal lobe analogue non Aristotelian (self controlled). Get it? DNA appears to be a cybernetics information/programming system...but anyway...

Bet there will be a massive increase in the birth rate nine months after most of the world is vaccinated, a surge of relieved masses celebrating in the old fashioned way. All those who died will be ‘replaced’ at double pumping speed. The idea that the vaccine contains the ‘Establishment’s’ nanobots seems unlikely...how on Earth would at least ONE person in the know, not spill the (genetically modified) beans? And those wondrous illogical conspiracy theories that Covid was triggered deliberately via 5G mast networks by a satanic paedophile elite will fade for a while. Until the ‘Christian’evangelical (evil angels) right wing restart their crazed rambling about the Illuminati/Freemasons again. For the record, my own feeling is that any group which had Leonardo da Vinci, Goethe, Beethoven, Sir Issac Newton, Washington, Mark Twain, Churchill, Oscar Wilde, Jefferson etc as members, seems like a fairly cool and worthwhile group for humanity to learn from. Is it because Lucifer was the Light Bringer that they conflate illumination with evil? How very aware of them. Arf. Paranoid magicians live longer. Speaking of witch...’Nothing is, nothing becomes, nothing is not’. A.C. The Book of Lies. Be aware, not woke. Look for the hunchback (?) behind the soldier (!)...‘You can empty infinity from it and infinity still remains’.

‘The data may not contain the answer. The combination of some data and an aching desire for an answer does not ensure that a reasonable answer can be extracted from a given body of data.’

Ever see Interstellar? Love that film. Elon Musk should just select 100 people, blast off and leave the rest of us to burn. As psychologists would call it, most of humanity is indeed still at the larval stage. Most of us stay on ‘the fourth circuit’ all life and rip at anyone who goes beyond or tries to. Christ would be murdered again, that’s why Buddha avoided crowds. Release and receive...channel.

‘Truth, truth, truth! crieth the Lord of the Abyss of Hallucinations...’

Paradise in a scientific quantum possibility...A dimension where the ‘soul’/ recorded/imprinted memory continues in  ‘A quite specific electromagnetic-gravitational field in which mind can manifest without organic bodies’. As all ‘reality’ is subjective, and an individual life most likely takes up a mere byte in a terabyte (trillion bytes). Personal Heavens, the way YOU design and chose. Dream and imagine possibilities now...much Love forever from Anon of Ibid

[allenmendezsr]

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[wordsturnintostories]

2/ Remnants of Time

Chapter 1 | ... | Chapter 3

Masterlist

Word Count: 3.934 Song Choice: Sleeping At Last - Sorrow; Woodkid - Run Boy Run Special a/n: two songs. the first is for the flight part, the second for the train station scene. please check out the Spotify Link, I still have no idea if the link works for you guys.

When everything had stayed calm around them and the second hour of the flight had passed, Sam nudged Steve’ side. “You really are as reckless as Bucky said. Man.” Steve shot him a confused glance from the side. He actually looked a little tired right now, although he shouldn’t be. “Y’know, training for hours and not even taking water along. Gotta stay hydrated, man.” Sam grinned a wonderful white grin and Steve knew that this guy had way too much fun right now, when a water bottle flew right at him from the back. Grateful, Steve took a few gulps. “Bucky didn’t say I was reckless”, he replied. “Yeah he did, but I won’t turn around so you can ask him.”

You can’t ask him. Steve remembered the moment that became reality. When ice was poured over the man he wanted to see alive and breathing. These days Bucky just stood there, in the tube with only one arm and pretended he was dead. How many times Steve had stood in the same room, looking at Bucky, silence between two men who’d never been silent when together. A sigh escaped him. “I hope everything will go as planned.”

Sam couldn’t turn around to his friend, couldn’t look him in the eyes just then, maybe for the first time ever, because all the pain on Steve’s face was too much to take. Also, it caused him to feel like he was intruding, like this was a part of Steve too personal to be shared with anyone. Sam concentrated on the night beyond the windows of the cockpit, hands calm on the control board. “You saw Wanda’s face”, he started slowly, willing to encourage the man next to him, who just wasn’t supposed to be this breakable, this fragile. How could fate be so cruel? To someone who didn’t deserve it in the slightest? “She almost glowed when you told her to watch Bucky. She won’t let anything happen.” Sam didn’t know what to say when Steve stayed silent. This man inspired people by just being around, but right now, he didn’t do anything, let alone inspire Sam. “Sleep a little, I mean it.” Back came a grunt. But the blonde giant did stand up, obliging a piece of advice by a true friend very much crucial to the success of this mission. Nat would scold him for not listening to Sam, he could feel it. So Steve strapped himself onto one of those wide benches in the back of their stolen Quinjet, praying for peaceful rest. Sam did too, pray for him to have peace when his eyes closed. He knew he couldn’t handle nightmare-Steve if his life depended on it.

Because Sam, not just a therapist to war veterans with PTSD, but also a human being with a healthy sense of empathy and reason, had discovered what a proficient liar Steve actually was. All these evenings where they had been joking around, when Nat had proclaimed Steve the worst liar she’d ever met, they had completely forgotten - or maybe chosen to ignore - the depth of Captain Steve Roger’s sense of responsibility and selflessness. He’d lied to them all along, undetected and repeatedly and even soldiers and spies were blind, or longed too much for a lie that they’d decided to trust his every word.

The best liars are never those who make you believe the lie. The best liars are those who make you want to believe the lie. Sam inhaled sharply when these thoughts took him captive. Never before did he accept them, as though he could be punished for this knowledge, but he realized that Steve just didn’t let anyone see him. Oh, and how he had learned to defend himself with a shield. Only the people closest to him ever caught a glimpse of the horrors beneath the perfect, peak-of-human-performance-façade. And these nights in Wakanda, Sam had met the real Steve and realized that it scared him more than anything. After a few long time, however, he noticed a distinct pattern in Steve’s nightmares.

At first, the raw screams from behind walls sounded disassembled, cracking with every new intake of breath, pained by fear. Then names followed, some loud and urgent, some a mumbled bunch of syllables. Sam had heard Peggy before, he knew Bucky, he knew his own name and he knew Natasha. It hurt to hear those names in the middle of the night, sounding so broken and panicky. Sam’s heart shuddered. Was it more terrifying, in the wild minutes Steve didn’t stop screaming and thrashing his room, when Sam couldn’t move, fear nagging on his soul like he was a child again and the monster was just next door? Or was it in the eerie silence that followed right after, or maybe even the mornings afterward, when he caught a glimpse of Steve’s room, the room of a disciplined military operative, with neatly folded blankets, clothes and no traces of the forces unleashed by the super soldier in his midnightly wrath? Or probably when Steve smiled kindly at Wanda, encouraging her before school started, when he high-fived Scott after a good joke, when his blue eyes rested on Sam so peacefully, hiding all the pain that he endured as his own burden, that no one was ever to carry other than himself. Maybe Bucky would carry them, Sam thought, hoping for scenarios unlikely to happen during his lifetime, given how slowly the doctors progressed on his case. No matter how frozen he was right now, he was crucial to Steve’s sanity. These boys knew each other to a degree that he’d seldom witnessed before, they trusted each other too deeply to ever forget the other, brainwashing or no. Sam cursed silently. They couldn’t make any mistakes. Too much depended on this mission and they hadn’t even prepared for it. His mind wandered back to his first mission with them, back in DC. He hadn’t been prepared back then. Steve and Natasha had needed his help and hadn’t bothered to ask for it. Now, that fight was over and in the past and Steve still needed help.

His phone vibrated softly in the jacket he’d thrown over before rushing through and out of Wakanda’s most expensive hallways. As Sam pulled it out, a text message glowed at him. Annoyed, he scoffed at his screen that was way too bright in the dark. The message read Park the bird in Lyon, meet me at the Gare du Nord in Paris around noon. :). Shit, he thought after a few seconds. There was no way this message would stay hidden from intelligence agencies. We are fugitives again. On the run. He prayed Natasha had thought this through. Steve slept without distress this time and Sam made it to Lyon in less time than he had thought realistic.

Crowded. The train station in Paris was crowded and that was the only description Sam could find for this somewhat chaotic place. Of course, he’d been to New York and San Fran before, but this was a different way of crowdedness. If any more people enter the platforms, he thought, anyone standing too close will fall down onto the rails like lemmings huddled too close to the edge of an iceberg. Sam wondered if anything special was going on in Paris right now, but the city was the center of the country and probably always terribly busy. Additionally, this was a Friday. All the commuters drove home from work right now.

The train was still moving, slow and smoothly hitting the brakes. Sam checked his phone quietly, pulled it out of his jacket once to see if Natasha sent him another text with instructions, because he certainly didn’t want to spend hours in this place, and pulled it out a second time to see how late it was. Almost 12:30. Come on, Natasha. Where are we supposed to meet you? Give me something. Steve sat opposite from him, assessing the area with a serious expression on his face that made his jaw look hard and more square than usual. “Cameras everywhere. Still got the cap?” Sam pulled it up. Steve wore a hoodie and pulled the hood over his head, although Sam doubted that whoever was looking for them would fail to recognize the big blonde. Not after The Battle of New York, the Disaster of DC, Sokovia’s Shaking and his Berlin Bucky Jailbreak.

London

A dozen agents rushed into an office plastered with screens, computers and desks. “Alright, ladies. This is the CIA, not the kindergarten. We got intel claiming Captain America and The Falcon to be on the way to a rendezvous with The Black Widow. Pull up camera footage from Paris, Gare du Nord. Come on, people, find me both Rogers and Wilson. Run protocols, give me phones, credit cards, travel records, anything. Last week was a disaster and I will not have it repeated.” “Instructions for the local asset?” “Give order to shoot on sight. For both. If they want revenge, this is the price they’ll pay.” Trained fingers typed in codes and directives, streams of people appeared on the office’s screens and recognition programs ran to add identities to the many moving faces in the crowd. “We located the Falcon’s phone”, an agent threw in the room, “they are on a train, just entered the station.” “Tap it.”

The TGV train came to a halt and people exited, fusioning with the masses outside the automatic doors. People pushed from behind and were so close Steve was almost uncomfortable, doubting the big hoodie to conceal his identity to a sufficient degree. “Don’t look up”, Steve warned, “and take care of your backpack. More thieves here than at JFK.” After a few seconds, a beeping sounded behind them, a female voice blared through the speakers placed high on green metal pillars and signs up above, announcing the departure of their train. A phone left behind on an empty seat glinted in the sporadic beams of sun breaking through clouds and the glass ceiling at Paris central station. Sam sighed. It had taken him quite some time to befriend with the plan to leave his phone behind as diversion. “Bye, Candy Crush Level 153”, he whispered. Just when he wanted to divert his eyes, something bright flashed on the display of the phone, just for a second. A text message. Sam’s heart skipped a beat. He prayed the text wasn’t from Nat, saying that they needed to meet somewhere else. Maybe it was just an app notification, he tried to reassure himself. Slowly, he turned towards the soldier a whole head taller than him, than almost everyone, who hadn’t noticed his sudden unease.

The two men hadn’t moved far from the rails yet, still awaiting Natasha’s arrival. Their concentration was on peak right now, their eyes whirred around to capture every nuance of their surroundings, to notice every hint of danger. The upper level was much calmer, with fewer people scurrying around than downstairs. Steve noticed a homeless person snatching stuff out of people’s pockets, wallets and keys and loose money, but kept his focus on the cameras and skimmed the rumbling crowds for men in tactical gear, for men in dark suits and for men with suspicious earpieces. Public places were playgrounds for intelligence agencies and he was, albeit not an easy target, way too far up on their priority lists, thanks to the Sokovia Accords. A criminal. And he wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.

Right now, the only objects surrounding them were a ticket automat, a newspaper booth with familiar faces greeting them, one even lined with a distinctive dark goatee. A line of people stood right in front of it though, all of them unaware that they shielded Steve, who had for a long time been the shield of a whole nation, and his companion, from silent observers. But it was no coincidence, either, since Steve had observed the rotating cameras on the ceilings. The hardest task today was probably going to be avoiding all of them. Suddenly, something vibrated in the pocket of his hoodie and he almost scolded himself for not noticing the phone in there. He had left his' in Wakanda on purpose. That meant that they, the CIA, Interpol, P.R.I.D.E., whoever, had either found them. Or someone worse. Sam shot him a somber look when he too examined the device in the blonde’s big hand. “Who gave you that?”, he whispered and Steve shrugged. This was a brand-new phone, prepaid. Slowly, he answered the call, but waited.

“Sir, subjects are exiting the station, based on their phone’s location.” “What? I don’t understand. Location provided was the station…?”, their bosses’ tone was impatient. He’d done this for over twenty years. He knew his team was losing time. Phones rung in the office, agents forwarding directives. “We don’t know, Sir. It may be a diversion.” A different agent with headphones perked up. “Affirmed visual on two subjects standing near the ticket machines, matching descriptions.” “Follow them, Michaels. Pull it up to the big screen. I wanna see it. Johnson, activate parameters for the asset. They should enter his target area soon. And get me an audio feed. Put it on the 1.” The camera stream appeared on the main screen, right where the CIA supervisor stood, headphones held to his ear. He eyed the glowing wall with the live feed. One of the targets, Steve Rogers, pulled a phone out of his navy blue hoodie jacket. “Who is calling them? Why don’t we have their conversation yet?” “It’s a third phone, doesn’t belong to them.” “Where did he get another phone? Tap it!”

Natasha’s voice greeted Steve’s ear and he almost let out a sigh of relief. This was in every way better than the CIA or anyone else who planned on chasing and detaining them. Steve could hear that she was moving too, with car noises in the background before feet hit stairs in a fast and steady rhythm, the noise merging into one composed of human mumbling. “Get going, boys, head towards the pastry store”, she directed. “You really need to stop calling like that.” Steve pulled Sam with him on her command, behind the ticket machine, then around a pillar, escaping a camera that had just moved towards them. So they do know we’re here and they’re looking. Before them was a big area full of passengers and tourists, that Steve knew he could cross in roughly thirty strides. That would be exactly the time frame they had - else the camera would catch them. His eyes fell on Sam. Would he make it in time? “Don’t look at me, I’m right behind you.” Natasha was still on the line. “3…2…1”, she counted and Steve moved, quickly but not overly rushed. Running would be suspicious. Something silver glinted in the corner of his eye but disappeared when he turned his head. A second later, it was there again, a short flash. “There is someone with a special camera, on the upper level to your left”, Natasha provided and her fist hit something that grunted, probably a man. “Where are you?”, Steve asked when Sam slipped into the spot behind him. “You don’t wanna know. Watch the guy in the green jacket behind the soda machine”, she added, “pretend to look at the pastries to your right. The shop’s camera is broken.” “What a coincidence”, Steve mumbled.

People actually didn’t seem to recognize them, which was good. On the other hand, they also didn’t notice the danger they were about to face, if the worst case scenario ensued. Suddenly, Steve spotted a few men standing together in front of the ticket machine, the exact spot they had stood in a minute ago, one of them a hand on an earpiece, speaking into it. Crap. They were here. “We gotta hurry, Sam”, he motioned over there and pulled him closer towards the soft and sugary pastries on display. “You don’t say. Check out that guy up there.” Steve’s eyes made out a tall man clad in a fancy black business suit, hands gripping the metal railing at the edge of the level while his lips moved to no one in particular. But he stood on the other side of the hall and from his point, he would only see Steve’s back at most. Good enough for now. All of the sudden, a sharp whistle made Steve’s ear sting. Fire burst inside his head when Sam pulled him down and the store employees shrieked in shock. The shot had been soundless, but imperfect. They wanted Captain America’s head. “We need to run, just a few meters, come on!”, a near-panicked Sam pulled him forward with wide eyes.

“Sir, we lost visual on targets.” The CIA task force chief cursed, ran a hand through his short hair, but forced his eyes on the screens that lit up the entire office. “They can’t disappear. It’s a train station. We’re controlling the exits. Find them again. Get the team in there.” “The entire team?” “Yes.” “Sir, Mrs. Henderson suggests-” “I don’t care what Janet says, Michaels. Get it done. Now.”

Steve and Sam had vanished by slipping past the stores to the right, taking advantage of a very narrow gap between the shop’s walls. The super soldier raised a shaky hand towards his ear and thick red blood smeared over all his fingers. Sam shuddered at the sight before him, the rugged, bloody ear now a stark contrast to the light blonde hair. Torn off flesh and blank cartilage. Gross, he thought. No way I’ll forget that view. “Sniper”, Steve hissed into the phone and only received a grunt. Quickly, Sam checked their surroundings. No one would hit them in here. The blonde pulled his hoodie up again. His heart was still beating world-record-fast. A sniper. This was more than just the CIA chasing criminals. Did Natasha know what was going on before getting them into this? The warm blood dripped onto his neck, some even running down his back. “Are you alright”, Sam wanted to know and Steve, pressed into the wall, clenched his teeth. He’d be, later. Now this just hurt. He wondered how much of his ear had been torn off. “Sure”, he growled. “Let’s get out of here.”

“A hit, Sir.” “Good. Get them.”

On the other side of the shops, a stream of people walked as if nothing had happened. Just when Sam wanted to step out and move with the masses, Steve pulled him back. He’d spotted three armed task force assets with the same idea. “Quick, Sam, get up“, he ordered and they both pulled themselves up onto the stores roofs, that didn’t meet the ceiling. They lied down on their bellies, watching how the three men entered the gap, exactly where they’d stood seconds ago. When they crouched down to examine Steve’s blood on the ground, he grabbed Sam’s backpack and flung it over the edge, hitting someone’s head. The backpack was heavy. That guy didn’t stand up again. Next, Steve jumped down, ignoring how everything was spinning around him. He grabbed one guard by the collar and hit him against the wall. The other one held his gun out, Steve disarmed him immediately. Next, he buried his foot into the agent’s stomach. The stumbling man landed a fist in Steve’s face though. But he wasn’t prepared for the following rain of punches knocking him out. Steve pulled himself up to the roof again, returning the backpack and motioning for the nearby platform that was the upper level. “Jump”, he ordered and everything spun again. They both jumped, ripping the skin on their fingers when holding onto the rusty iron baluster. They had just pulled themselves up when a grenade flew at them. Steve pulled a vending machine out of the wall and over the explosive. After a loud boom, M&M’s flew through the station, people screamed and Natasha asked if they were alright. Part of the level’s floor collapsed, almost pulling a bleeding Sam with it, downwards. But they rushed further out of reach from the sniper and his friends, through store’s backdoors and more streams of people. Steve was glad no one noticed the red soaking his jacket. Most people just panicked.

“Camera! Tie your shoes, right now!”, Natasha urged and this time, Steve pulled them both down, his head erupting hotly in protest, which he ignored. “All clear, now move to your right. Hurry up, too.” They moved, always following her instructions, always checking for potential danger. Steve had entered a state of golden haze, where every movement around him seemed slower than usual. He wasn’t sure if he’d just lost too much blood or if that was adrenaline. He didn’t even feel the fiery pain in his ear anymore, all that was left was nausea. “Maintenance door ahead”, Natasha announced and a loud bang clanged not only through the speakers but also on the metal of said door. Steve quickly joined Natasha, who kicked three men’s asses in the narrow hallway behind. Even with impaired balance, he still managed to fold these goons together like cardboard. Sam took care of guarding the door.

“Listen, we’ll get out of here really quick, I have a car parked nearby, but you can’t be seen with me.” “Nat, what’s going on?”, Steve inquired with limited curiosity. He didn’t want to know, he needed to know. Whoever was coming after them, this was something bigger than he had assumed. “We’ll talk later. Use the exit next door. Wait for me at the bus stop and check the phone.” With that, she left, her step a little less quick and graceful than Steve remembered. She must’ve taken out quite a couple of men, taken not just a few hits.

A few minutes later, the two men stood at the bus stop she’d pointed out, their patience fading with every second. Again, the phone rang and Steve answered. “What now”, Sam asked, eyeing the streets. No Natasha. “Tell her to hurry.” He noticed a few men pushing through the main entrance of the station, at the other side of the street, who seemed very intent on finding someone - them. “Move closer to the guy in the blue jacket next to you, make it look like you’re talking. Offer him some bubble gum from your pocket.” At this point, Steve was slowly growing tired, but he pushed it away. He repeated Nat’s instructions to Sam. “But they can see us”, Sam protested. “Perfect”, she said. “They’ll come for you when the bus stops. I’m right behind.”

She was right. The bus stop turned into chaos as soon as the bus stopped. The men from the entrance rushed over and injected the guy who’d taken the bubble gum with syringes. His legs buckled and they dragged him out of the bus violently before lifting him into a van. Steve and Sam had already disappeared in Natasha’s car and stayed down when she pulled ahead of the bus, hoping to maintain her cover. Nobody saw them though, so they drove off in an Audi that probably didn’t belong to her.

“We lost them, Sir.” “Don’t you dare get your asses out of here before you have them; I expect their exact locations by tomorrow morning!” The team was dismissed for a quick power-break, albeit not without a distinctive grumble of deep annoyance. Only one agent was held back under the strict gaze of his superior. The first quickly closed the door and turned the room’s communication systems off. “Any updates on Project Limestone? Tell me you have good news, Adam.” “Yes, I do. The asset has reached the assigned destination. Plus, our associate requests a meeting, Colin.” Both men stayed quiet for a moment. Failure meant exposition. And that would be the end of them all. This had been planned for too long to fail now. Meeting here was impossible. “Well, invite him to the upcoming security event in Amsterdam. It shouldn’t be too hard to pull up a cover for him. No one will suspect anything, not after Wakanda opened up with the Accords.” “On it, Sir.”

Masterlist

{Note: Please have the grace to leave a comment or reblog with your opinion. There is nothing that would make me happier, seriously (I think it’s because authors are just very curious creatures by nature.) For a story like this, your reaction is as essential as good earth is to pretty flowers. Thank you :) } 

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