#but i cant so we all suffer here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

boowhumps · 2 years ago

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|WHUMPRIL 2023|

|Day 14 ~ False Smile|

(@whumpril)

⚠TW⚠

- Mention of Death

- Mention of Self-Harm

- Arguing (kinda?)

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I sit on the couch, a mug of tea warming my cold hands.

My hair awkwardly touches the back of my neck. It's really short, but I try to ignore that.

Zaaron walks into the room, taking a seat next to me.

"So, are you ready to talk?" He asks.

I nod.

"Well.. It's.. complicated.." I start.

"Just try to sum it up." He says reassuringly.

"Ok.. uh.. well Krystal found out that I was in contact with.. you, and she basically turned everyone against me.. except for Kaiden." I say.

"And then Kairo.. passed. And it hurt but Kaiden tries his best to get me through it.."

"But next thing I know.. he- he hates me. He won't look at me, won't talk to me.. And then he became aggressive and I got scared.. So I ran off."

I take a deep breath.

Zaaron sighs. "So now you're just hiding away in your house, not telling anyone if you're ok?"

I nod slowly.

"So are you and Kaiden still-" He asks

"We broke up." I clarify. "Well.. I left him a note that basically said I was breaking up with him. I'm not sure he.. actually thinks we are."

"Well what now?" He asks.

"Huh?"

"What do you plan to do?"

"I was going to leave this place. Move to Armoni. Start a new life." I say.

Zaaron raises his eyebrows. "That's a plan you got there."

I hum. "I would maybe come and visit you.."

He smiles. "I'm sure you would kiddo."

His smile drops. "But.. I don't think you should just leave without saying goodbye to some.. certain people."

I give him a puzzled look. "Like who? All my friends left me. Kaiden left me. Hell, I don't think my parents would even notice if I left!" I raise my voice.

Zasrons holds his hands up. "Okay.. Karyme, listen. I can't imagine how angry you are right now but it was only a suggestion."

I take a deep breath. "I-im sorry. It's all just falling apart and I'm scared and I can't stop-" I stop myself.

"Stop what?" Asks Zaaron.

The atmosphere quickly tenses.

My eyes stare into the floor.

"Karyme.. Stop what.?" Zaaron asks again.

".. Nothing." I finally say.

"You are a terrible liar." He says.

I glare at him. "You're pushing it."

Zaaron sighs again. "Fine. I'll stop."

He switches the subject back to me leaving.

"So when do you plan to leave?" He asks.

"I think August 1st. That gives me enough time to book a train ticket and pack up my stuff." I explain.

Zaaron nods along.

"Are you sure you'll last there? It snows all the time." He says in a teasing tone.

"Ha ha, good one old man." I say sarcastically. "I'll be fine."

The rest of the afternoon we chat away about my future.

My.. non-exsistant future.

At around 8 I decide to head home.

"Remember Karyme-" Zaaron reminds me.

"I know, I can come to you if I need help." I repeat his words.

He ruffles my hair. "Yeah."

As I'm about to leave, Zaaron speaks up.

"Hey.. Stay safe, alright?"

I turn around to look at him.

My lips form a smile.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine."

As I'm heading downtown to the bus stop tears begin to form in my eyes.

I hold them back.

'I'm sorry.. Zaaron.' I think.

#whump #whumpril #whump writing #day 14 done!!!#OOOO I LOVE THIS ONE #the angst is there its just not very obvious #my story lore is so complicated lol #also Zaaron supremacy y'all #if i could draw i know yall would love him #but i cant so we all suffer here #enjoy <3

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brofightiscancelled · 3 months ago

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okay ill bite why do u hate kaoru sakuraba sidem aside from the fact that they went from hokuto as a main blue to downgrade to kaoru. to make it less awkward that I’m asking abt sidem on ur osomatsu side blog, what sidem idols would u assign to each matsu ?

i think sideM should collab w osomatsu-san and put them all in Beit so they can all get JOBS!!!!!!

anyways i hate kaoru from idolmaster sideM. i need all my osomatsu-san side blog followers to know that i hate this man. "i need a lot of money fast to pursue an extremely niche medical research track, which is why i quit my stable and high paying job as a surgeon to become an idol while having no soft skills, physical strength or stamina, or interest in getting along with people" are you Stupid??

he's not even using his idol clout to spread awareness of the rare disease he's trying to cure (like SEM does) so it can secure funding, he sees it 100% as a job and refuses to have fun, he is actively unpleasant and uncooperative in every interaction with his coworkers because he's trying to "rise to the top". it seems like the only thing he has going for him are his looks and that he kind of liked to sing when he was a kid. why not become a model at that point when you have the personality of a wet tree trunk. or better yet why not STAY A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!!!

also, i don't like meganes, so write that down.

#context for oomfiematsus: idolmaster sideM's gimmick is that all the idols were other things before becoming idols #Beit is the unit whose gimmick is that all their members have part time jobs (baito)#others are like. lawyer -> idol; pilot -> idol; pianist -> idol; rakugoka -> idol; etc #finding out the backstories/previous lives of these idols is like the main appeal of this branch #a lot of times it's like trauma and stuff that causes them to switch careers. like there's a pair of twins who were former soccer pros #but one suffers a career-ending injury and it's sad. and theyre like well we were pretty good at PR and stuff though so let's be idols #(the other twin follows him because yknow twinsies <3 cant be apart)#and this guy is in the main unit so you meet him and he's just a fucking dick the whole time and he just seems to fucking hate being an ido #so the whole time youre like what's this guy's deal #(note i experienced this through the anime cuz all the games are EOS lol)#and then like 3/4ths into the anime in you finally get his backstory #and it's that his sister died of a very rare disease so he needs money to fund research to find the cure but no one will fund it #but instead of staying a doctor he decides the best way to do this is to BECOME AN IDOL?!!!?!?#like sure i bet the top idols do make more than an average surgeon? but it's like do you want a .01% chance to make a $2 million salary #or an 100% chance to make a $300k salary BECAUSE YOURE ALREADY A SURGEON!!!!#and it'd be another thing if he was like. kinda having fun with it. kinda being jovial #like there's literally another guy in the teacher unit who became an idol for the exact same reason (heard it was lucrative)#but then after he finds out being an idol actually isnt all that much cash #so he just decides to have fun being an idol instead!!!!#this guy NEVER GETS THERE. he's always a SERIOUS RUDE STICK IN THE MUD who is NEVER FUN TO BE AROUND BECAUSE HE'S LIKE #I'm Here For Work. I'm Here To Be The Best Idol. I Don't Want To Make Friends #LIKE GET REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL DUDE YOUR COWORKERS ARE 10 YEAR OLDS IN ANIMAL COSTUMES AND 30 YEAR OLD MEN IN PINK TIGHTS.#anyways everyone likes him i guess he's supposed to be the “cold guy eventually opens his heart” kind of guy but he has always just come of #as very annoying to me. and also DUMB AS FUCK i cannot stress enough how STUPID OF A CAREER CHOICE THIS WAS #so i cant take him seriously when they try to play him up as this cool all-knowing guy when he's the STUPIDEST PERSON AT THIS COMPANY #INCLUDING THE 9 YEAR OLDS

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love-songs-for-emma · 1 month ago

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‼️ VAMPIRE QUESTION TIME ‼️ [MORAL DILEMMAS ALERT🚨]

if your significant other/best friend were turned into a vampire, would you want them to turn you into one too?

and, vice versa,

if you were turned into a vampire, would you want to turn your significant other/best friend into one too?

#polls #.txt #vampire #vampires #i have QUESTIONS #and i want ANSWERS #what is the nature of my immediate tumblr circle #what would u guys DO #be HONEST #the idea of being immortal is Terrifying imo. my ass has been here long ENOUGH #but would i let my loved one go through this horror possibly alone?#then vice versa... im such a martyr. i'd prob be like ''noooo u cant have to suffer like this with me... ohhHhhh the horrors......''#but if they really wanted to be turned... would i do it?#btvs #iwtv #wwdits #i dont even watch iwtv or wwdits but ik a good amount of my immediate circle does from hannibal-spn-buffy land #so i feel like yall would also have Things To Say!#gimme that INPUT! that DIALOGUE!#maria is literally just rambling. hi #rbs welcome on my posts. i doubt id post smth i didnt want to be engaged with on here #did u guys know that one my first ever interactions on tumblr in like 2013 was me rbing a post and that person sending me an ask (bc we #didnt have dms back in the day) telling me to delete the post from my blog bc they didnt want anyone to reblog it #i was SO confused #and now. all these years later... i still am ??#u made a post on the rbing website...#still. i try to be polite and at least ask in the tags as i rb a smaller note post. like. ill delete if someone wants ofc #but it was So ??? to me bc i dont think it was a particularly personal post and even if it was ??? tumblr is also the Personal Story-Telling #Website #alcjskjcjdjd

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salsa-di-pomodoro · 1 year ago

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Has anyone ever thought of the possibility of people in hisui getting a magazine from AFTER ingo and akari go home with either or both of them on it. Like they've already left and lo and behold in the tail end of the entire mess a magazine appears with one of them on the cover looking fresh stunning and most importantly happy. If it were Ingo i feel like he'd be all dressed up goth on the cover of like Vogue or something lmao (i don't think he wouldn't get famous if he wasn't already after coming home. Theyd want the publicity+cool extint Pokémon on the cover). If it were akari shed probably be like posing all badass like the badass teenager she is, scars in full view (she's a survivor!!!!!!). Inside is a little tidibit of their life after coming home. It would be both funny as hell to see them react to how they are in their element and like connect the dots for their strange behaviors AND bring closure to the people they left in hisui. They may never know this but the people in the past do

If anyone uses this idea tag me i may or may not read it but i want to know if you liked it enough to do something with it. I'll probably just keep daydreaming to myself about it lol

Edit: btw there's a whole section talking about everyone's battle prowess and the battle subway for the funnies. Just so you know

#ingo #ingo pokemon #subway boss ingo #submas ingo #pokemon ingo #warden ingo #akari #pokemon akari #akari pokemon #why do they have so may tags #anyway hello people this idea has plagued me mind enough for me to make a dramatic comeback to the tags #i will now disappear again for untold amounts of time #i wish i could be here #but my brain decided to do a funny and annhilate me with ten thousand ocd beams every time i see a smidge of content-#-that even vaguely implies angst. even in my mind lol (<-suffering from the horrors)(doing FAR *FAR* better than i was even just-#-a few months ago tho. just get the occasional panic moment. ig we cant have everything)#anyway goodbye gamers see you in five to ten business months #submas positivity #oh btw last thing emmet is def there with him #maybe not on the cover but in other photos inside of the magazine they all posed together #yes elesa also #i have such a clear view of this curse my undeveloped drawing abilities #jkjk im not being mean to myself lol im getting better #just imagine him on the cover posing with chandelure and sneasler and zoroark in the background and theyre all menacing #except him cause hes smiling so genuenly happy and like kind looking. something something ghosts don't have to be scary

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shakingparadigm · 9 months ago

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horrendously sick and twisted btw

#IT TEARS ME UP TO THINK ABOUT THE METEOR INCIDENT. I AM GENUINELY TORMENTED BY IT #slipping through his fingers.#it's crazy they were actually crazy for the whole meteor thing whoever thought of it needs to financially compensate NOW #i love you so much ill break every rule if it'd mean you'd be happy with me. run away with me #here i am im setting you free im giving you everything you want. could i be part of that? could i be part of what you want #till slips through ivan's fingers. world has now completely shifted #and he can't even be mad. not properly #because this is why he loves till in the first place. he just cant give up on what he cares about. he'll never stop fighting for it #ivan smiles like. this is why it's you #a lot has been said about the meteor scene already but that doesnt stop me from going insane over it #freedom means nothing if till isn't there with me WHAT IF I SHOOK YOU LIKE A RATTLE BOY #ivan was well off. he was eating at feasts. given fine clothes. groomed clean and celebrated for his achievements #yet he was willing to throw it all away #thinking about how they'd probably live on the streets again. struggle to get by on their own as lost little children #their lives would be closer to the one ivan lived in the slums #except the difference would be till. back then he had nothing. if till ran with him he'd have everything #and yet till turns and runs the other way and ivan follows him because of course he does. theres nothing else he'd rather do #any kind of suffering is worth it as long as its for you #till is stubborn. he's persistent. he can't let go.#well fortunately (or unfortunately) so is ivan. incredibly persistent #so here we go again. back in this prison brushing past one another knowing we almost had it all #I WILL GRAB YOU BY THE BOWLCUT AND WRING YOU AROUND LIKE A JOYSTICK BOY!!!!#YOU MAKE ME ILL!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!#alnst #alien stage #alien stage ivan #random ramble sorry i have Feelings

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telesodalite · 25 days ago

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Been thinking about idw1's outliers lately, and how sort of wild the whole concept is from a worldbuilding standpoint, and it struck me that most confirmed outlier abilities tend to be really useful, or flashy, or powerfully dangerous, and few to none tend to be like, really boring, or totally impractical, or even entirely useless? Which, doesn't really make sense when considering the fact that outlier abilities are seemingly random.

Surely not everyone who's born an outlier gets something useful?

And I don't mean like, "good" useful, but any sort of useful, even if that means you can kill people with your voice, or give a power boost by exploding yourself, those are still "useful".

But surely there had to be some with abilities that were totally impractical, or nonbeneficial, or at the very least just insignificant or purely aesthetic and pointless?

#mods. enhancements. and artificial outlier abilities are a different thing. with plenty of room for error and drawbacks #but being born inherently an outlier by the sheer whim of. idfk. primus or the planet itself. what's the chances there???#this definitely has to have been discussed before. i'm just too lazy to dig for it rn. but yeah. its a fascinating concept either way #idw transformers #tf idw1 #mtmte #lost light #maccadam #maybe thundercracker's sonic booms count. but those have some use. also its funky. so he gets a pass i think #i had more thoughts about this earlier when i first jotted the thought down. but ive forgotten them now >:/#basically its just funny to think of like. shockwaves school and all. going around like ''what can you do?''#and you've got the group we see in the flashback. and then like. some guy whos like ''...i can change the color of energon''#or like. ''i can float! but only like... three inches off the ground''#i cant think of every example. but go down a list of useless superpowers and there ya go #omg. wait. if rewinds whole color changing deal was legitimately a outlier thing. i guess he would count #also. in a similar vein. its really funny to think of outlier abilities as like. stats and stuff? plus 1 to so and so but negative 1 to etc #so abilities had a sort of cost. this is smth ive seen here and there in fics and stuff. and its great.#but its sorta funny to think of working in the opposite way too #take misfire as an example. bcs its funny. negative boost to aiming. but positive boost to evasion #less of a chance to hit smth. but also less of a chance to be hit by smth #idk lol. sorry. ive been doing a lot of gaming lately bcs ✨️stress✨️. so ive got a lot of dumb stats rolling around in my head lmao #also its 4am. so... coherence has long gone to bed before me lol #struggling to sleep again tonight. but more so for anxiety reasons. all these federal job changes are hitting very close to home rn #it'll probably be fine tho. probably. got a lot of other personal shit to worry about anyways. like my fucking medical files being tossed?!#tricare when i get you. when i fucking grt you omg. i didnt even serve. why am i suffering omfg #sorry... thats off-topic. so its probably best i uh. put myself to bed. at 4am. so. goodnight and good morning 🥲👍#tf idw #tf worldbuilding

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hauntingblue · 4 months ago

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The king and queen are visiting Paiporta and they receive them with mud xd two men have spoken to the king and told him to do something, but we all know that he is going to go to his palace and cross his arms because It's literally the only thing he can do. Is this what had to happen for people to realize that asking the king for help is nonsense? He has no power, he is only there to parade around. They have kicked out volunteers from the site to let the king and his escorts (police and military) pass, which is the first time they have touched that ground and they are going to do NOTHING. The president is doing the same. The president of Valencia is doing the same.

#this is never before seen stuff by the way. the monarchy was restituted in 1975 after the dictatorship and celebrated for it #and the president of valencia is basically the higher power here as the state of alarm he declared makes it so the national government #cant help. he has all the jurisdiction and all the responsibility. and yes he is from a right wing party. a lot of people are blaming the #president of the country (left wing) but legally he can't do anything bc of what i said before. its so frustrating just one man being #stubborn (and cruel) has cost so many lives and inflict so much suffering. not only after and during the incident but BEFORE as he didnt #raise the alarm so people thought they were safe and went outside to get move their cars or similar.#there have been so many people found on cars inside parkings.... and they are not done yet.#they havent updated the dead or missing numbers but the last number of missing people was 2000. all these people could be dead #they could be currently dying as the king and queen parade around the streets blocking people wanting to actually help. shameful #translated the main post on google bc i just could write it in english #i feel like a medieval peasant talking about th king and queen like this. what are we doing. year 2024.#talking tag #valencia

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xxplastic-cubexx · 13 days ago

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I hope the bloke who sat behind me during dinner had fun seeing me look at the same pic of rivals magneto on my phone for the past like forty minutes

#snap chats #i mustve appeared ill thats all i looked t while eating my fam and i dont talk to each other #or at least i dont talk to my mom during meals if it was just my bro and i then totally different story roAPDJSJ #im in hell #i accidentally ate something cooked with peanut oil my chopsticks had mold on them and there was beef in my chicken broccoli #ok that last ones like Less Bad than the other two but point is get me OUT OF HERE #my mom bro and i went to my favorite buffet weeks ago and my mom ws like #‘well what about the old buffet we used to go to that had more options’ and guess what now we’re all suffering #cause she accidentally ate something she allergic to too SO. THATS MY DINNER #NOT THE POINT OF THIS POST. sorry thats why i always make posts every other second #its so i can look at them in public later as if im a sailor lost at sea looking at his wife #and yk what i may as well be i miss my wife #wait you know whats wack for some reason my laptops clock and date was weird #and i accidentally did my homework early because of it … lol … now i can play rivals all night at least fjPWDJAJ #ok ima finish up i just got ice cream to round off dinner. cant fuck up ice cream now can you…#maybe i should just got a locket with a pic of charles and mags in them …. maybe once charles gets added to rivals lol..#IF he gets added anyway…#BYYYYYEEEE

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ratatatastic · 6 months ago

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a man forced to suffer the skittle shenanigans of this team

#bombastic side eye #i love mikksy half of the time can find a camera to stare into #or just eyes the zest with so much judgement #“no luosty you may have made a it looks bigger joke that does not mean you get a free pass to stare at my eyes”#“no ekky scf means we cant do the bumpy ritual like we're supposed stop being a freak about it”#“so it wasnt enough to do a shoey each with lundy we have to share a sandal with luosty? okay”#“why must i be punsihed for being intro-ed first why did these chucklefucks have to sit next to me”#“i finally make it stateside and this is what i get greeted with...”#you can tell hes slowly regretting all his life choices thats lead him here #this is what happens when your 2 boyfriends sign with another team and leave mikksy alone with only 1 boyfie #he suffers

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ectonurites · 7 months ago

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my hubris (thinking i could go to an outdoors concert last night without consequences) has failed me once again (woke up with allergic reaction)

#i managed to go all summer at wtf without having it happen like this so that was nice at least #but home for two days and boom. here we are #i think its the combo of ‘out on grass so much yesterday’ with ‘my room here got dustier while i was gone the last few months’#anyway. life is suffering #at least its still not the worst its ever been. eyes are swollen but not so much i cant open them like that one time #grandpa max is god? i go to church now

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bruiisedfawn · 1 month ago

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🏠⊹ ࣪ ˖͙͘͡★

#honestlyyy #the moment we know that we will all move out of this apartment #and that like none of us is stuck here #i will just crash out #my sister contacted the housing company bc of noisy neighbors #and they were like hihihi we cant do anything ^-^ we need OBJECTIVE information abt it tihihihi #so sorry!!!! have a nice day :)))))#so like yeah ppl can torture u but there is nothing u can do abt it #so the moment we all have somewhere else to go #im gonna play loud music (imma even buy loudspeakers)#i will take a basketball from outside and throw it at the walls and ceiling in the middle of the night #i will throw twigs at their windows #and 'accidentally' drop litter and garbage outside their doors #i will scream and i will use a hammer to bang on stuff #i will also be doing this all hours at the day #esp during the night bc thats when they like go to bed haha. good luck sleeping bitches<33333 #i will move around furniture and throw stuff around #im gonna do everything in my power to fuck w them as much as i can #what are they gonna do??? they cant contact the housing company bc they wont do anything #plus even so.. will the evict me? but im already moving tihihihihi ^-^#i fucking hate these demon cunts that pose as my neighbors and psychologically torture me year after year #i will fuck w them as much as i can. i hate them. i only wish the worst of hell and suffering upon these fucking pieces of shits

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hauntingblue · 3 months ago

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I'm still scared in sabaody

This is crazy...

THS IS LIKE 300 CHAPTERS AWAY!!!!! THE SMILE... and mingo being the owner of the slave house for the tenryuubitos... OF COURSE

Look.... luffy enablers vs normal rational people

I was like yeah sure luffy was saying he wanted to become king of the pirates but rayleigh didn't explicitly say roger wanted to become pirate king just that people called him that so I am SURE shanks is saying luffy has the same dream we don't know about as Roger. Which lines up bc luffy said shanks knew of it and then in wano ace tells yamato and he says roger said the same thing and ace also knew of it!!! Which is crazy that it's set up this early but EVERYTHING is being set up here

I need to frame this btw.

Shakky the mother that stepped up.... also new conspiracy theory shakky is Hancock's mother bc she is a fan of luffy and hancock is too.... she was busy being a pirate to take care of hancock so she feels incredibly guilty about what happened to her so shakky either hasn't told her and hancock doesn't know or they have a difficult relationship. Yeah sure whatever. I dont care if rayleigh is her father or not bc as you know I believe in asexual reproduction in one piece thank you.

🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️what can I say