#but i cant make any progress
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twst aus i want to expand on
yuu is like that shoujo stereotype where they look "plain" with glasses but take them off and their the prettiest person ever
mute!yuu that understands twst native language but only knows asl
yuu goes to other otome games and vice versa
time loop au
stereotypical isekai au
feel free to ask questions pls i want some distractions rn thx 👉👈
#twisted wonderland#twst oc#twst au#its a stressful time <3#im sure u could guess#let me expand on my brainworms bc theyre just bouncing around in my head#but i cant make any progress
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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Headcannon: legend has terrible handwriting
This is because he started adventuring really young when his handwriting was still horribly illegible, and has not had time between adventuring to improve his handwriting.
Sure he has improved a bit since then, obviously, because he has to occasionally write a letter or such, but he hasnt had to write consistantly or often so his handwriting is only barely readable, maybe even a bit worse than that
#my lil guy#(he doesnt write in since joining the chain cuz its embarrasing. he's a veteran but he cant even write#(wars find out and he tries to help leg improve. leg doesnt make any progress however and throws the pencil and seathes in frustration)#(why cant he get this one simple thing that everyone knows right?)#i mean my handwriting was still a horrible mess even at 11yrs old so its not unreasonable to think this could have happened#this is one of my better ideas ive had recently#i do a little ramble#loz#the legend of zelda#linked universe#lu#lu legend#headcannons#zelda headcanon#lu warriors#lu headcanons#hc
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Huntlow situationship gives me such intense brain termites you don't get it
#no i dont think its because Hunter needs time to heal first#i think if it was up to Hunter they would plunge into a committed romantic relationship immediately after the events of the finale#he would propose to her in like. 3 months probably#i know that sounds intense but i think this is what ''i literally died and came back to life'' mania does to a guy#he is so carpe diem minded hes become a little insane. he wants everything#no more waiting around. no more hesitating. he cant afford to do that anymore#would it have been the wise decision to enter a romantic relationship immediately#who's to say. but Hunter would have done it without thinking about it#its Willow that makes the decision to slow down and wait a while before they make any committments theyre not ready for#i dont think she's entirely learned her lesson about letting herself be emotionally reliant every once in a while#shes made progress but the events of ftf were such heat of the moment responses#once things are semi-stable she still needs to adapt to acknowledging that her feelings for Hunter are like. serious. and scarily intense#so like. yea Willow is slamming her pedals on the breaks for both their sakes. shes thinking about how this would effect Hunter too#but also. she scawwed.#when Willow tells him she wants to talk and she's like ''i think we should just be friends'' oh the face he makes is DEVASTATED#he didnt expect it was going in this direction at all. but like. once Willow explains how this is the most reasonable decision for now#he DOES agree. he understands what shes saying and he agrees that it's the best decision to take a breather before they jump into a romance#anyway even when theyre not officially dating the flirting continues insistently. they are very obsessed with each other and cant stop#Willow keeps trying to insist to herself that its just messing around. nothing serious. they find each other hot. its fine to kiss a little#but Hunter makes it very hard when he looks at her with big brown labrador eyes. looks at her like shes the entire world#i think if it was up to Willow they would have been trapped in that uncertain limbo forever. shes too scared to take the plunge#even if she wants to. she badly wants to#but Hunter just wont let that happen. every so often he says ''im ready whenever you are''#he makes his intentions very known. he is not the shy boy from Camila's house anymore#Willow cant just playfully flirt with him without worrying that hes gonna reciprocate. he talks now. he expresses himself#shes a little afraid of that. but she adores it too. he makes her feel safe but also he wont let her stay in this comfort zone#hes giving her the push she needs to pursue this relationship. gives her to push to feel like she can go after what she wants#because god knows HE knows what he wants#they make me so insane
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"is this a plant or a weed" im going to pull all the hair out of your head
#finally working up the nerve to make some progress on fixing up my garden#after it got completely destroyed by the ppl who replaced our roof#and im just sitting here SEETHING at all the damage#and i cant stop thinking abt how when i brought the inspsction guy around the yard and gave him a detailed explenation of all the damage#he was like 'well you have to understand we dont know a lot about gardening. a lot of this stuff even i wouldnt be able to tell if it was a#a plant or not'#and I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS IMPLYING#he didnt think my plants where rocks#he thoight they where 'WEEDS'#and instead of thinking 'lets try not to destroy any plantlife#those assholes thought 'lets try not to destroy anything that Looks Like A REAL Plant'#but all those WEEDS???? yeah lets STOMP ALL OVER THEM#ARGHGRHGHRHRH BITING GNAWING#I HATE MAINSTREAM GARDEN CULTURE YOURE ALL IDIOTS#ITS ALL PLANTS ITS ALL PLANTS#STOP MAKING PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS ABT WHAT DESERVES TO LIVE BASED ON APPERANCE OH MY GOD#text#lawn posting#<- because i blame stupid ass colonizer rich person lawn culture bs for this attitude#and they still stomped on my hostas and irsises and hakone grass anyway
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i am. so tired.
#i want to play the sims but i cant open it until this one mod is updated but i cant update that mod because every time i do it#deletes all the progress i make in its custom skills n stuff and i have to start all over again#and i asked the modder if theres any way to have it not do that but they havent responded#which. is fine. actual person with their own life and all.#but that means i have to either wait longer for an answer or suck it up and redo all my progress in that save#which. SUCKS.#hhhhhhhhhh#lassie vents#vent#im just. eepy.
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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I think people misunderstood my macaque post
Ah well you win some you lose some
#people saying ‘the sun cant exist without the moon’#yes it can?#it just wouldnt shine#we wouldnt see it#thats why macaque is flawed from the start - you have him DEPEND on the sun to make any progress#with his character#moon and sun symbolisms are great but when you take it away#sun wukong is still SUN WUKONG but macaque is nobody without wukong and thats saying smthing#and i can give you so many examples of characters who have stories without relying on their childhood best friends#like jinx from arcane or marceline from adventure time#sometimes you can make it work if the story is about both of them#but the story has ALWAYS been about wukong never macaque#even macaque’s dialogue and actions and drives are all connected to wukong#and thats a little sad ngl#comeback kid#think pan
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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sometimes i feel out of place but im sure all the other nuanced people that are not excited and throwing with money are equally respectfully quiet and silently plotting...?
#I hate you capitalism#Anyways im doing good progress on black arms maria#tataking me a bit bc im trying stuff out#shadows logbook#I will ignore what sega is doing for now#Im assuming thr worst and i cant cope w it#Any other way than making her a freak even more#The only maria is saved au that matters to me
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i need to focus on one thing and one thing only, but i have so many ideas and wips i want to work on that i keep bouncing all over but barely get much done with any of them.
#quite the vicious cycle i found myself in#the desire and the want to write is there but i cant narrow this intent toward any one thing#and write a line for one wip a few words for another#barely making progress#:/#a real goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation
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...
#aye. in another life i would have loved to be an illustrator#i dont like to do digital tho and i dont wanna b a starving artist and i like science too much#but it would make me so hsppy if i was allowed to draw all day everyday#forever and ever drawing#but nooo i wanted to get a phd in microbial evolution. and im procrastinating working on my preproposal#literally doing anything to not work on it. i coulf have been a illustrator. an endocrinologist. a neurobiologist. a paleontologist. but i#chose microbial ecologist then thought no fuck ecology and went for photosynthetic mechanisms#bc i do love my lil cyanos and i do love Microbiology. i love those underapprecated lil guys#the world is so big and beautiful and all i wanna do is understand. but my stupid brain doesnt work right and ive burried my wonder for so#long i wonder if ill ever have it back. i was reading a bunch of lil notes i wrote this semester and i go from#everything is so beautiful i cant stand it. there are angels in the sunbeams and they feel like healing. to im the world around me is#warping beyond my control. i cant feel any joy. my head is sending me terrible ideas but im not even scared. it feels inevitable#but last week i was so full of energy i couldnt sleep. nothing changed but the chemicals in my head#hopefully next semester will b better and i can stop feeling like damaged goods and feel bad fro my advisor#for having to deal with me. hes v nice and has a bip0lar brother so he's sympathetic but i wish he didn't have to b#i want to stop fantasizing about being something else and just focus on being better at what i am#but im such a pathological perfectionist that its so difficult to make any progress. but whatever ive been feeling alright for the#past week or so. hopefully that carries through. and maybe somedsy i can illustrate something for my precious baby cyanobacteria#unrelated
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wip wednesday (?) aka look at my water caustics boy
#making. minimal progress lolol but better than none!#most of this stuff isnt finetuned yet; just implemented so i can adjust em later#& still have not imported any proper meshes (the seaweed is also just provisional)...#but anyways. spending way too much time on non essential things oops#ik the glass is Weird but i cant give it any thickness cus that would create too much overdraw 😔#& the water waves thingy will probably be scrapped & faked with a texture instead#cus the water body thingy creates actual displacement and that makes the mesh way too dense#lay rambles#..not putting this into the actual wip wednesday tag xdd#but i will absolutely have to adjust the lighting & the glass parts cos rn ive got WAY too many draw calls still rip#(<- entirely my fault for choosing a scene with lots of transparent bits)#even though i dont even have any assets/props/details imported yet |'D
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(tw for metaphorical/implied suicidal thought) Still not done with level 4, but this one scene is coming along pretty well and i thought i would share it
#tw suicide#game development#progress update#most of the dialogue is very much so unfinished#but i think the vision is clear#also unfortunantly i am a dumbass and cant figure out how to share screen with audio so you cant hear the sounds or music :(#but yeah if you have any advice or suggestions as to how to make the scene work better id be happy to hear it#this is probably going to be a part of the showcase for my college portfolio so i want to make sure it is as good as possible
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Yo...could I get some comfort up in this Tumblr? The thing I was telling myself not to die before seeing out didn't pan out and I am....sad to say the least.
#personal#when you're living to see your dreams fulfilled and you cant make any progress anywhere#no matter how hard you push or what you try#I'm all out of optimism and I've been running on empty for everything else too#its been an incredibly rough year and i just wanted one really good thing out of it#and at this point i really don't know what the use in not giving up even is#i dont value life intrinsically#i dont want to continue existing if its just to suffer in new and more intense ways#some people just get to be miserable their whole lives through#ive seen it plenty enough to know#if i cant at least make headway on the only thing i exist to do#the fuck is the point....#sorry I'm not dealing well
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