#barely making progress
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i need to focus on one thing and one thing only, but i have so many ideas and wips i want to work on that i keep bouncing all over but barely get much done with any of them.
#quite the vicious cycle i found myself in#the desire and the want to write is there but i cant narrow this intent toward any one thing#and write a line for one wip a few words for another#barely making progress#:/#a real goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation
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I donât know how to say this exactly but like⊠fandom and show are kinda weird about Mel and Ekko and it is very much rooted in racism
#like do guys do know that âyay this character is perfect in every single way and the only ones with braincells<3â is not#the progressive statement you think it is#a step up from the insane misogynoir during s1 era but still not great#itâs how nobody really focuses on mel or ekkoâs characters on their own and water them down to being âperfect#never did anything wrong everâ. which they are but like⊠how to say thisâŠ#i feel arcane didnât allow them to be fully fleshed characters#i saw this in st with lucas where heâs watered down to lumax#and gets some mvp scenes but thatâs not a compensation for actually giving them proper attention and fully fleshing them out#i might be the minority but mel is a step up from ekko since she had more of an arc but again they barely fleshed it out before making her#op enough to defeat leblanc (was it leblanc?) in her own domain#like that is literally insulting to mel itâs a cop out and just reducing her to a cool moment#in compensation for not giving enough attention to her black rose arc#it wasnât cathartic because there was no build up to those moments#arcane critical#arcane criticism#ekko#mel medarda#ekko arcane
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councilor 3D model
i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him
[link]
please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)
currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.
#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild#have fun playing toys with him#ultrakill#councilor#councilor ultrakill#3d stuff#obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on#so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks#(like obviously the wings & halo)#(but also the chestplate design)#but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces?#i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored#i had to add them#to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff-#i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result#but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!!#gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but#i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this#i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project#and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going#(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress)#this was like 1 entire month in the making#but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost#so thank you guys for liking it <3#i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head#but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe
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It's them and I love them
#sorry im feeding yall with barely some progress pictures and unfinished work#art is hard and i am gay#im trying to find new ideas again but oh my god my hand does so not want to work#i mean like i have ideas but i just cant make it look the way i want it#anyways#kenjoy#my art#barbie x gloria#barbie 2023#Barbie brainrot
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Fanfiction is so goated actually
No monetary incentive, just writing in one's free time. Some incentive for like kudos and comments, because who doesn't want to hear that someone else enjoyed what they wrote. Just writing a story that is good and/or enjoyable, no real-life pressure to keep it going because god forbid you and other people are depending on it financially.
Writing a story because you want to write a good story, so you can write what they want the way you want, at a pace that is realistic for you, with exactly the plot pacing you want there to be.
#c*rny posts#thinking about this after the my h*ro academia leaks lmao#i have read barely a few chapters of the manga and then kept up with it through tumblr osmosis#i was interested in how its gonna end#and after reading the leaks i was like 'well its up to the fanfic writers to write a good ending now'#cause. it was kind of underwhelming. like some stuff made sense and some things were just done badly#which is realistic considering h*rikoshi is apparently burned out to hell#and i was thinking. man. if i had to write AND illustrate a story for like ten years straight. because its my bread and butter#and there are other people depending on the story doing well to make money#it would 100% get to me. i would rather end it all lmao#which is why i think fanfic is so great#just writing a story that you want. that makes sense to you. that has elements you want. that is exactly as long as you want.#and there isnt even a possibility of really monetizing it so there is no drive to make is 'succeed' or make it as long as possible#this could be applied to just writing a 'regular' story also that is not intended for publishing#also kinda makes me think about h*ikyuu#i kinda do feel the timeskip and the ending were a bit rushed#but like. if it was me. i would have rushed it too lmao#after so many years of working on one thing and one thing only i would have been so done. just so done#and h*ikyuu ending to me wasnt even bad. it was good with good resolution of everything. with characters evolving and achieving their dreams#not necessarily volleyball related (like tenma)#the progress made realistic sense#but it did feel a bit rushed#anyway#fanfic and writing for yourself is great#and manga authors face way too much pressure from people dependent on them. from fans. even from society in general
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*wakes up and makes the GBA startup noise*
#my art#art#artists on tumblr#robot#robot girl#android#android girl#digital art#vtuber#vtuber art#trans#trans art#two art posts in one month...... barely made it#i did this in just over two hours and i'm proud i put something out with that kinda speed#usually i spend SO LONG on ANYTHING#this kinda pace is what i need to keep up with and make some progress#have some tasteful underboob and bulge. as a treat#same outfit as previous post lmao
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i saw you mentioned that killua has an addictive personality. would u write more on that topic? i agree with you but i dont know how to articulate it for myself hah
I could point to the obvious thing, the chocrobos and sweets in general. Sugar is addictive in real life but like which all such substances some are more vulnerable to them than others. And Killua seems to have developed a chocolate habit.
But I think his tendency towards gambling is far more telling.
Killua loves rivalry, he loves competitions and he will try to gamify stuff he does with Gon. But at least in their competitions with each other Gon can work as a safety valve because he's also obsessive and self destructive and Killua's care for Gon would curb his risk addiction. That and the fact that with Gon they get into really life threatening situations and the self-preservation Killua's family forced into him, kicks in too.
But when the stakes are not life threatening, when it's money... Killua can't handle money. He loses all of their Heaven's Arena winnings on internet auctions. Then Bisky has to drag him away from the slot machines in Greed Island.
When there's no threat to his or Gon's safety, Killua has absolutely no breaks and because Gon leans on him for the planning and for knowledge about the world, considering Gon's much more sheltered childhood, Killua's on his own to control himself and he absolutely can't.
Maybe needing to provide for Alluka will also work as a decent safety valve for the gambling. Maybe he will be more careful with the money he needs for her.
But I don't think he sees that he has this problem. He's always been rich and capable to make quick and easy money. He's also capable of roughing it for a while, and Gon was too. But I doubt he'd want to put Alluka in that situation. Maybe being with her will make him realise he needs to work on this.
#hxh#hunter x hunter#killua zoldyck#answering asks#thank you for the ask <3#i haven't been writing about hxh much recently#it's interesting to do#sorry it took me so long#i've been really having a horrible time for the last few months#and there seems to be no end in sight#it's kinda getting progressively worse and more depressing#i'll get to all the asks#my brain just barely works from stress most of the time and i can barely sleep which makes it much worse
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its done.
idk i thought i started off really well and then Maria and Jacari killed me. i am dead. tell me what you think ok
#author makes a speech#oc stuff#author draws#Nick#Adam#Maria#Jacari#art is my suffering ive been drawing for years and im barely making progress
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Half the internet talking about how we just need to be more niceys to men and misogyny is the fault of mean internet feminists and the other half going "Let's try seperatism again!" I'm so tired. I want to be in community with men, especially marginalized men whose political goals align with mine, while trusting that any critique of misogyny won't immediately turn them into fascists. Is that too much to ask?
#feminism#misogyny#sexism#both 'all the young boys are buying into violent misogyny because a leftist tweeted she hates men'#and 'men are inherently unsafe stop having relationships with them'#assume that men are categorically incapable of caring about something for a reason other than personal gain#it's either:#the left must appeal to men (not based on their race or class or other forms of marginalziation- no. specifically benefit men as a class)#because they'll never care about misogyny if there's nothing in it for them#OR it's:#stop giving men anything they want. because they'll never care about misogyny unless there's something in it for them.#am i naive??? for believing you can teach someone to care about other people?#I feel like even progressives barely believe in the idea of a male feminist anymore#because apparently they think male feminists must constantly be assured that they're one of the good ones or else they'll become a fascist#idk... that doesn't sound much like a feminist to me#the thing is that if i take half a step back i'm like obviously this is possible i literally already know men like this.#the problem is that they're a small minority but it handily proves this isn't an inherent issue.#of course it isn't i dont believe in gender essentialism!#but internet discourse pretending men are the only demographic categorically incapable of allyship makes me question myself sometimes
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For Requestober No.2
What about Handplates Gaster and Papyrus trying hard to have a bonding activity and Sans just chilling behind them eating popcorns...?
đđ»đđ»
Day 14 - He's supervising
#My art#Requestober#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Sans#Ah....The cutes........#I'm really pleased with how this one came together haha âȘ Soft and colourful and overlaps and subject! Yeah!!#And look at the bottoms of those shoes!!!!!! Improving!!!!! Genuinely probably the best I've done so far ahh yaay#It does feel a bit funny to have Papyrus' outfit as kind of a mish-mash of various design elements lol#It's his Battle Body but there's the black-clothed spine from my design but bare arms and legs from Handplates#I dunno I just work here lol#Sans is pretty much on-model at least - Sans no you'll get butter on your gloves!#He's very happy to be here as you can see lol#''be more excited you got a gift from the best skeleton in the underground and above it''#Papyrus just trying to have the most fun :') His enthusiasm makes up for everyone else's - right? Has to#Gaster's being passive - bracelet of yellow flowers huh hmmm - but he's not fighting or leaving! Every little drop of progress#His little kneel under Papyrus' open lap is so cuuuute wahhh <3 <3 Soft interactions! Gentle touch!#Not confining or even all that purposeful just casual pleasant contact hh <3#Quite happy with the patch of grass as well hehe I think it follows the composition curve nicely âȘ#Really in love with my grass brush can you tell lol but I also used my waterbrush! Ahh it's nice it feels good to colour with#Cute and soft <3 Like it all very much â„
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controversial opinion maybe but it BEWILDERS me when people (mostly americans ime) genuinely seriously with their whole chest complain about how impossibly hard russian names are. like. do a single google search. i don't see how you can comprehend that charles = chuck and margaret = peggy but can't fathom that rodion = rodya. how is this such a huge barrier of entry for people
#and this doesnt apply to ESL ppl or any other ppl who have actual reasons like dyslexia or something#im talking about other americans who go yeah i had to stop reading bc i couldnt understand the names#how are you seeing different cultural naming conventions as an unsurpassable barrier that forces you to quit and give up on ever reading it#instead of an opportunity to learn and expand your narrow worldview?????? and over something SO SIMPLE??????????#like i know damn well yall know a katherine that goes by katie or a john that goes by jack#and those make even less sense than something like aleksey -> alyosha!#there are general rules and patterns unlike english! like the progression from aleksey -> alyosha -> alyoshka -> alyoshechka is so easy to#comprehend i dont understand how its SUCH a common complaint#i definitely understand the struggle of keeping characters straight when they have the same first name#like katerina ivanovna and katerina ospovna in t/bk etc#and of course the names in general are something you have to adjust to if youve never encountered it before! it takes a bit of thought#but its NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE and its asinine to shrug your shoulders and say welp guess im incapable of ever reading any ruslit!#like ohhh my goddd it grinds my gears so bad#bare minimum effort#anontalks#sorry for rant but i keep fucking seeing this shit and it rubs me the wrong way every time#like yeah its funny that dunya = avdotya and grushenka = agrafena#but richard = dick and elizabeth = betty so who fucking cares read the damn book
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tried drawing messmer but realized i miss my wife, so time to draw ranni first<3 [WIP]
#people who make ranni art where shes a slim big tiddied anime girl are COWARDS. shes beautiful in all her broken doll glory#im making another cute lil piece of my tarnished loving ranni<3 this time trying to help put her back together or smth#my art#wip#work in progress#elden ring#ranni the witch#ranni#lunar princess ranni#age of stars ending best ending still#mm you can barely see her hands in this wip but ill tag it with my tarnished anyway#ER Eloise#eloise loves her doll wife very much. very devoted loving knight energy..#ranni x tarnished#fanart
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There's a deep irony in Berserk being so admired by people who really really hate what Berserk is about on an emotional level, but especially when writers want to take influence from it. Because Berserk is very strong thematically, and someone who can't acknowledge subtext is going to whiff on emulating anything good.
#And by that I mean that like many of its influences and descendants the plot is fundamentally driven by toxic gay shit lol#Listen there's just no beating around the bush here: you either understand this type of story is super emotional#That the softness and hope and love for humanity is vital connective tissue between the edgy violent dark setting#And that at its core the queerness is *central*#Or you will just end up creating something toothless and cynical with tokenizing bullshit at best#You cannot make that lightning strike twice if you're too scared to even write that shit as ACTUALLY core to the plot#You donât have to make your shit gay to be good you just have to understand if your major influence was gay and why#So that you respect subtext and thematic writing and emotional resonance in writing in general#And maybe understand that if you also want credit for pushing the envelope you get where the real standard is#This is one of those things I see in equal measure in dudebro homophobes and supposedly progressive queers#No that wasn't âbait/delusionâ it was barely subtext and if you go into writing with that attitude you're going to write shallow shit lol#I genuinely believe when people lament about reading comprehension they're actually talking about willful ignorance#Because willfull ignorance *does* cause a need to deny reality to a point where it warps your ability to understand information#Having difficulty comprehending text from a learning disability or improper teaching#Has fucking nothing on someone whose deliberately trained themselves to rationalize away anything uncomfortable#Tag rant over but this shit really is a plague and you can see it so starkly when it comes to Berserk#An undeniably respectable work from a place many envious little goblins that covet it do not actually respect
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^this but unironically
#also this is such a ridiculous comparison#one of them gets more and more angry as the show progresses actively hurting the people around them#and thatâs not me being analytical or hashtag deancrit or whatever itâs just. canon#he has a whole fucking arc about how hes becoming more and more angry and its taking him over and turning him into someone awful#like itâs not a well executed arc <3 but it is about that.#itâs not a coincidence that moc happens right after dean does like some of his worst show moments ever#aka being awful to sam all of s8 for daring to try to move on and then getting him possessed and gaslighting him about it#like they donât tie up moc in a fulfilling way dean just gets worse and worse and never heals but. Whatever#meanwhile. the other (sam) gets villainised by the show for showing entirely appropriate anger Which by the way is never directed violently#at dean in fact we barely even SEE it in him sam just says he FEELS angry all the time and somehow believes this is proof he is innately#evil and the show AGREES with him. and as the show goes on he stops being able to access this anger even in self preservation and has his#sense of personhood and autonomy worn down again and again#. Like that is completely different#âwhenever dean expresses it thatâs just him being abusiveâ#Literally yes. like i worry for you if you think that trying to kill a child because youâre upset your family died is like Good Normal#Behaviour#itâs understandable in the context of deans life! all his behaviour is! but that doesnât make it goodâŠ#spn#fandom wank#oliver talks#supernatural
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ppl calling Harris brat while she and Biden gleefully send bombs to aid the genocide of Palestinians, you would've been holocaust supporters 100 years ago. You're holocaust supporters now.
#will probably delete this later#im just mad#neolibs are fucking gross and weird#you're not a leftist you're a centrist cosplaying leftism without knowing a thing about it#ppl who think liberal is a badge of honor just cause conservatives don't like you#just not being trump is less than the bare minimum#the overton window has shifted so far right and it's on purpose so âdemocratsâ dont have to make any real progress#and so they can leave in the shit republicans implement and even do their own fucked up shit and no one can say anything about it#Harris supports a police state too#No politician will save you#and that includes your darling Bernie Sanders#the democrats want project 2025 too they just aren't saying it out loud
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mutual orbit
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#the azim steppe#azim steppe#au ra#xaela#magnai oronir#midlander#hyur#magnai oronir x warrior of light#gpose#wolship#warrior of light#ieeha de verral#ieeha#magnieeha#dont think ive posted them here#im generally a bit self conscious given the numerous amounts of AUs and ships with some overlap here and there#borderline confusing even for me#but feels weird NOT having posted these two given how long ive shipped them in general#love me my bisexual fail king magnai#for context here btw: basically they started butting heads like crazy first meeting. ieeha lacks any respect to speak of irt authority#which obviously magnai bristled at. but as ieeha and the gang stays at the dawn throne for a while he and magnai are forced to interact#where they bicker and argue AND also get to know each other better. ieeha learns a lot about the oronir from him and helps out everywhere#and he gets to know the tribesmen personally as he helps with healing cooking childcare etc. which magnai starts spying on#magnai feels super weird about the whole thing. its good and annoying and confusing and thrilling at the same time and hes getting agitated#and so magnai cant stand looking at him in the end and sends him and gosetsu away. he can barely look at ieeha and its making him lash out#which weirds ieeha out a lot. he thought they were making some progress to at least being civil with each other and hes a little hurt tbh
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