#but i cant feel like that again because im an idiot and i fuck everything up

[antivastalon]

not been a good day today fellas

[neonvqmpire]

vent in the tags

[carrotpiss]

This is a bunch of sad lost and confused and frustrated and lonely sludge, advise not reading

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so theres a lot of posts going round about the titanic wreck and the missing submarines; all of them that ive seen have made very good points about how shoddy the submersible seemed to be and how the company decided to wait eight hours before reporting it, and how this is a play stupid games, win stupid prizes for the ultra-wealthy who paid like 250grand a ticket for this thing.

but what i havent seen any posts about is how the titanic wreck is a gravesite and this tourism is disturbing the graves of over 1500 people.

sometimes its kinda hard to remember that those on the titanic were real people; it was over a century ago, the story has been romanticised in so many ways (like the movie), theres conspiracies theories galore that cloud everything with misinformation, but at the end of the day, those who died were real people.

do you want their names? heres a list of them; its a long read. and for fun, heres another site where you can see photos of the children and babies who died aboard.

their bodies are long gone and their lives long forgotten. all we have to remember them and honour them is the wreck itself. its all we have of them and it is their gravesite. its their tombstone.

caitlin doughty/ask a morticians video on the great lakes discusses the topic well, and why we should leave these shipwrecks alone because again, they are the gravesites of all the souls who died aboard those ships. we rarely have bodies to recover so we really are left just with the wreck.

and what really upsets me about titanic tourism is how the majority of those who died that night were not the ultra-wealthy rich folks you might picture when you think of ocean liners.

61% of the first class passengers survived

42% of the second class passengers survived

24% of the third class passengers survived

24% of the crew survived **

the majority of those who died that night were regular folk; not to be cliche, but they were just like us. titanics wreck is not only a gravesite for over 1500 people, its also a majority working class gravesite.

and look at us now. look at what were doing. the ultra-wealthy can pay the equivalent of peanuts to them to disturb a mass gravesite of the exact kind of people they exploit today to hold onto all their wealth. 

its easy to point and laugh at these dumb idiots in their playstation controller submarine, seemingly held together with super glue and duct tape, but its also important to remember that what they were doing was simply disturbing a gravesite for fun. though the company does research, these guys werent down there to conduct research, they were there so they could brag about it to their friends. its like “climbing mount everest” while your sherpa does all the work.

if you cant tell, i have a lot of feelings about this. shipwrecks and ocean liners are one of my special interests and im currently building a (beginner’s) model of the titanic, for fucks sake. but i would never go down to see that wreck because its a fucking gravesite and we should not be disturbing their final resting place.

[ivysprophecy]

bed chem

warnings; uhm sex lol? oral (male and femme recieving) very whorish thoughts, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it pls pls pls), brief mentions of bruising and hickeys, dirty talk. breeding kink if you squint

prev. | next

masterlist

word count; 2295

summary; jj and you have always been able to get along as long as it was in a nice comfy bed. what happens when you start to wonder if your chemistry goes beyond that?

divider by: @bernardsbendystraws

im being so for real when i say id let jj do just about anything he wanted to me.

and im not even being dramatic.

the second i can feel his lips make contact with that spot below my ear and his hands leaving finger prints on my hips, im a goner.

i dont necessarily know what it is about him specifically, and saying its our chemistry feels so icky to say but i dont know how else to describe it.

the way he hooks his thumbs through the belt loops on my shorts? like right now? yea im soaked already.

"mama you've been teasin me all night with that fucking idiot of a date- dont gotta do that baby you just gotta ask me for it."

"jj less talking more tongue."

"yes mama," he smirks up at me from his lap, his lips going back to my neck.

i have to interrupt him because i simply cant keep this shirt on my body. unfortunately i did have my cakes on so he just had to chuckle at them

"jj weve talked about this! they aren't funny!"

"baby theyre boob pancakes for your nipples its always gonna be hilarious."

" 'always' as if youre gonna see them again. how confident."

"sweetheart you say that every time. just let me give the girls some love and enjoy it, yea?" with that he starts peppering kisses all over my chest, his hands pawing at both of them.

"jesus-" the moans that come from my throat are honestly embarrassing but hes just too fucking good at this. he knows every sensitive inch on me.

its like he has me fucking memorized its insane. he feels insane.

and it doesnt help that he loves eye contact. i hate admitting that it flusters me, i dont want him knowing it takes everything in me to keep half of my dignity when he has me like this.

my fingers find the buckle of his belt doing my best to blindly work it off of his waist desperate to get whats under his pants.

im not ashamed to admit that.

"someones eager tonight," he pulls off of my chest with a noisy pop sound, smiling that signature cocky grin that i love to hate. "you gonna tell me what you want?"

i push him back onto the bed so i have easier access to his belt, more so his dick if im being honest.

"i want you to stop talking so i can get your pants off. why dont you work on that shirt for me baby?"

"well since you asked so sweetly," he chuckles throwing off his cut off while helping you get rid of his shorts. "only if you put your shorts on the floor next to mine."

"thats such a weird fucking thing to say jj what the fuck?"

"what? i thought thatd be cute."

"youre so freaking weird," you roll your eyes sliding off your shorts throwing them in whatever direction. they land next to his

jj sits there, head against the pillows watching me. i cant help but feel uneasy, im aware that i have no reason to be uncomfortable and that hes seen me this way plenty of times before but theres something in his eyes that makes me feel like hes drinking in every inch of me and its a but unsettling,

"youre so pretty. cant get enough of ya. ever," he gestures for me to come closer with his fingers before snapping and pointing to his face, "park it pretty mama."

"jj-" i start to interrupt him but he refuses any rebuttal.

"uh uh. weve talked about this. youre gonna sit on my face and im gonna eat it as much as i please. cmon now dont be shy. it doesnt suit you."

blush eats away at your cheeks as you crawl forward closer to his face, gripping the headboard for stability.

"im not shy."

"then act like it baby. now let me taste you, wanna warm you up good for me," and with those last words his arms wrap around my hips and he pulls me down so my weight is on his face.

the second his lips make contact his tongue is READY to work, and let me be clear he knows where the clit is okay? Sucking, licking, even nipping he does it all so fucking good.

all while looking up at me as i use his face like a damn chair.

my hips are desperately trying match the pace of his tongue, i can feel his nose rubbing against my clit giving me the best kind of friction im looking for.

oh my god and when he moans into me?? im done. finished. totaled. i cannot stop the sounds im making.

my legs shake beside his head, and hes staring up at me so smug, so proud of himself like his ability to make me cum was ever in question.

"see? so good for me mama was that so hard?"

i cant even get the words out, still clutching onto the headboard catching my breath. "jj-"

"ive got you dont worry," he picks me up by my waist and twists us so hes now hovering over me. "ill make you feel so good i promise."

"jj- i-" i try to take a deep breath and gather my thoughts, none of them holy obviously. "just gimme a second-"

"awe, someone overstimulated? already?"

i close my eyes and take a deep breath, because yes i do get easily overstimulated. "dont be a dick-"

"i havent even pulled it out yet."

"oh yea? lets see what you've got to say when ive got you all up in my mouth huh? lets find out baby."

i move out from underneath him and lay my head off the edge of the bed, looking at him with an excited glimmer in my eyes and my tongue sticking out.

"holy shit-" i giggle watching jj practically fall off the bed to take his boxers off, fumbling to do so. "are you serious?"

"yea jayj im serious," i say through a few laughs. "now cmere. remember you dont gotta hold back. i can take it."

"oh my god- shit. mama you keep talking like that and im not gonna last."

"i dont wanna talk jj i want your cock in my mouth," and with those final words his boxers drop to the floor. and i can see how ready is, honestly it looks painful. and i wanna make him feel all better.

my hand finds his, pulling him closer to the beds edge. once his length is over my mouth i run my tongue down his shaft, taking him into my hand and pumping what i cant reach.

"you ready for me baby?"

jj doesnt answer, he grabs my hair and tugs my head down further having me open my mouth before stuffing me full.

i can hear the groan he lets out, its guttural. and hot as fuck.

my tongue slides along his length almost asking to pull him in deeper. but he keeps still for a moment, gathering himself so he can continue.

but i know my boy. hes not gonna wait much longer to be inside me and i have no plans on arguing about it.

after a minute his hips buck forward a bit. "you good mama?"

and of course i cant really respond with his dick in my mouth. so naturally i try to take him deeper, urging him to move his hips again.

his grip on my hair tightened as he buried himself as deep as he could and slowly pulling back out.

poor guy is torturing himself! i havent even done anything, and he knows he doesnt have to go this slow.

he keeps his rhythm slow and steady, and i can feel the anticipation in his muscles restricting himself so i give his thigh a quick tap letting him know to pull away.

"jj you okay? you can go faster."

he lets a groan fall from his already pouty lips, "mama i cant handle going faster. need to be in ya when i bust."

i cant help but chuckle at his admission.

"oh baby. shouldve just said somethin. how you want me?"

i love making his eyes roll to the back of is head. but not like that weird anime shit. you know what i mean?

jj jumps back onto the mattress, back against the headboard patting his lap. "you know i want the girls all up in my face sweetheart. cmon and give me a good ride."

"yes captain," did i always say that jokingly? of course. did he always take it seriously? absolutely.

i climb over his lap, letting my knees rest against the bed sheets.

"youre still on the pill mama? or you still like the idea of me puttin a baby in ya" he looks up at me with pleading eyes, praying i am because he knows that means ill let him in bare. so fucking pussy whipped. i love it.

"jj you wouldn't be in this bed with me if i wasnt, now are you clean?" i have to ignore the baby comment because yea i really really really do.

"if you really believed i wasnt you wouldve have just tried to suck out my soul."

he does technically have a point there. "cant think straight when youre just standing there you know that jj. cmon are you clean or not?"

"youre the only one for me sweetheart. hop on, please. im beggin ya. need you so bad mama its killin me."

"'s gonna be a tight fit. 'm already so swollen down there."

"jesus," his head falls to rest on my chest and its like he all of a sudden remembers i have tits. peppering kisses all over my chest before wrapping his mouth over my nipple as i line him up. "baby you dont even know what youre saying. what its doin to me. got me so worked up im not gonna last long."

"good thing too because neither am i."

letting my weight lower onto him we moan out in unison, grabbing the hairs at the nape of his neck i hold tight as i let the sting of his size settle.

i do adjust rather quickly, seeing as hes been inside me plenty times before.

rocking my hips to start slow, i press small kisses on his hair as his grip on my hips tightens. part of me hopes i have little finger tip bruises tomorrow. they always show through my swimsuits. jj cant get enough of them.

"shit baby i need more.. cmon you can take it. its alright im not goin no where. give it to me."

fuck does he know how to talk me through it.

i raise myself a little only to leave a small drop, increasing the pace with each bounce. because holy shit he just hits that spot every damn time. sometimes i legit wonder if his dick was made for me.

then i roll my eyes at how fucking whipped i sound.

"yeaaa thats it mama. you keep that up, just how ya like it," thats the last thing he says before his thumbs starts toying with my clit and his mouth is once against attached to one of my breasts.

jjs the only guy that ive ever told that i need something else when hes inside me. never once made me feel insecure or guilty about it. in fact, i kind think he loves that he gets to play with me more.

"holy shit- jay- jay im close... you there baby?"

i can feel him nod against me so i move faster, harder, whatever i can do to chase that high im so desperately close to. and i can tell hes close to, hes got a little twitch whenever hes almost there and it feel soooo fucking good. takes me right over the edge.

"yeaaa gorgeous thats it. want me to fill you up? want me to make you my real mama?"

my head buries itself in his neck, covering it in small kisses to muffle my moans as i finish all over him.

and he's not close behind, thrusting up to meet me as i ride out mine, finishing just moments after me and i can feel him covering my insides.

and dammit if i dont wanna feel this way forever.

"so fucking good mama. made just for me i swear..." he mumbles against my chest leaving little hickeys as he catches his breath.

after a minute of just holding onto each other he slowly lowers me to the bed knowing that my legs feel like jelly.

he presses a kiss to my cheek before headed to the bathroom and grabbing us a wet washcloth. he rubs it over my thighs and my stomach and neck before cleaning me up carefully, knowing it helps me cool off afterwards.

"thank you jayj... always so sweet."

"shucks mama dont worry about it, you know ill always take care of you."

after cleaning the both of us up he grabs his muscle tank he was wearing before handing it to me so i can have some coverage while i sleep.

"want me to go out on the couch?" he wondered. always so thoughtful.

"dont be stupid. climb on in big boy."

his stupid sleepy smile is so freakin cute, i hate it.

"night jj."

"night sweetheart. love ya."

i know he says it every time. every night in fact. so why when he tells me that does it put a pit in my stomach?

and just like that, with his arms around me, hes peacefully asleep and im wide awake wondering what the fuck im doing.

[sturnalsm]

I CRAVE YOUR TASTE ALL NIGHT LONG ᯓ ᡣ𐭩

♤ Matthew Sturniolo ♤

Warnings: smut, making out, dom matt, swearing, hot pictures.

summary: today you were staying in the triplets house, because your parents were on a trip and you didnt wanted to be alone at your house. You were in the living room, usually when you stay there you sleep in Nicks room because you can talk with him about everything and its really funny, but tonight Chris didnt wanted to sleep alone so he's with Nick now. Matt was in the shower. You receive a snap...

It was 11pm in the evening now, you were in the Sturniolo's house today because your parents were on a trip. you were in their house very often its like you loved there, everytime you slept in Nick's room because its very funny and you stay up late with him talking about everything, but today Chris was going to sleep there because he doesn't really likes to sleep alone. Matt was in the bathroom showering and Nick and Chris were probably asleep because they were saying they were very tried so you didnt wanted to wake them up.

You are scrolling trough tik tok writing for Matt to get out of the bathroom and watch a movie in the living room or something. you receive a snap from Matt. you were confused but you opened you , cause you thought he just makes strikes. you open the snap and you see mirror selfie of Matt just in a towel from the waist. you forgot how to breathe for a second. then he stars tying, you open the chat

Matt

11:15 - come here

you act stupid as if you dont know he is in the bathroom just in a towel.

Y/N

come where? - 11:16

Matt

11:16 - in the bathroom dummy, dont act stupid..

you start blushing and don't even know what to say.

Y/N

why? - 11:17

Matt

11:17 - i'll show you.

you are blushing like an idiot but you start walking towards Matt's bathroom. the door is already opened and he's leaning on the framem you freeze

"come on sweetheart"

you walk closer to him and he grabs your hand pulling you inside the bathroom with him. he closes the door behind you and slams you against it.

"wh- what are you doing..?"

you ask out of breath like you've runned 10km to come here..but its just the fact that Matt is literally almost naked infront of you.

"what does it looks like im doing love?"

you were going insane, you were out of breath, blushing. he knew what he was doing, he knew he was driving you insane even tho you tried to hide it.

"soo..."

he begins as he puts his hands under your T-shirt.

"just the thought of you gets me all worked up, and everytime you come in those little skirts i just wanna rip it off snd fuck you right on the front door, you are such a whore."

he says as he takes your T-shirt off.

"if you thought you'd come again like this and i wont fuck you, you are totally qrong sweetheart..i crave your taste all night long.."

he is way taller than you so he picks you up still against the door. he starts kissing your neck as you start moaning.

"Matt t- ohmygod..thats wrong we cant do it..pl- please.."

you say trying not to moan.

"it might be wrong but it feels so right and you want it."

he opens the door and goes into his bedroom throwing you on his bed. he goes back to the door and locks it. you gasp at the view infront of you which is Matt - the most beautiful person you've ever laid your eyes on, only in a towel.

he takes off his towel and you open your mouth in shock. he climbs onto the bed being ok top of you, start to kiss and suck on your boobs leaving marks on them. you try to hold back your moans but it just feels too good..he dor sure knows what he is doing with his tounge and lips. he goes up to your lips placing yours on his, he doesnt even wait to slide his tounge into your mouth, he swallows every moan that comes out of your mouth.

he cant resist anymore, he is so hard it even hurts. he breaks the kiss and starts licking your boobs, he goes down with his tounge. now he is that your stomach, he unzips your skirt and takes it off in one go with your panties. he starts teasing you by putting his tumb on your clit rubbing on it as you start squirming.

"Matt please...i need you , i need you- in me"

you say and his smirk growing wider

"so needy for this big cock arent ya? beg for it like the whore you are"

he has his knee between your legs now, you arch your back ans squeeze your legs around his leg.

"please matt i beg you..i want you to fuck me"

he looks at you dead in the eyes, he grabs your legs and slides you down so you are on the edge of the bed. you wrap your legs around his waist pulling him closer to you.

"matt please.."

he smirks and positions his self at your entrance. he teases you with his tip making you beg even more. he slams inside of you without warning you causing you to scream

"MATT OHMYGOD"

"shut up, my brothers will hear us and then you'll be in big trouble"

he says as he starts moving faster inside of you hitting you gspot everytime he pounds into you. your ears start to ring and your eyes to blur. he doesnt stop , it doesn't looks like he'll stop anytime soon.

"you feel so good wrapped up around my cock, i dont think I'll last long"

he says still pounding into you with brutal force making you scream uncontrollably.

"cum with me baby"

he says with his low shaky voice. you feel your orgasm approaching, your legs start to shake, you squeeze the sheets and he puts his hand on your throat. you cum all over his cock , with one last thrust he cums deep inside of you.

"good girl"

you moan wanting more , but you know he isnt done without you yeat, he wants to have you like a moaning mess on his bed and he will get that from you.

"on all fours babygirl"

you obey. now he is behind you and puts his hand in the lower of your back pushing on it so you're bending over like a little kitten on the bed. he starts pounding inside of you once again faster than before, he speeds up his thrust every second , you cant take it anymore and you start moaning into the sheets. Matt knows what he's doing he knows how to get you weak as fuck and beg for more. he cant get enough of your pussy. he starts pounding faster and you know he's close , he knows you're close aa well and he wont stop his movements until you make a mess on his cock. he smacks your ass and starts pounding faster and faster inside of you.

after a few pounds you cum on his cock falling on your stomach not being able to take any more. and he knows it, he wont make you take more.

"oh you are so beautiful you have no idea"

he says as he lays next to you kissing your forehead.

"you are amazing Matt.."

you say out of breath. he pulls the blanket over both of youso youre not cold....

HIIIIII THIS IS MY SECOND STORY I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, I TRY MY BEST TO GET BETTER AT WRITING ❤️💋❤️‍🩹

[ultimatelyre]

CAPRI brothers-centric ficrec/masterlist

PART III

but first, have some silly memes

💌 - fav $ - smut (minors DNI) !! - check tags

AUGUST centric

wrapped around his finger💌 - And just like that, Laurent made his way into their friendship, thanks to his pretty eyes and Damen’s too big heart

the gift 💌- Auguste’s world was as large as a baby’s crib and as big as those tiny eyes

chasing the light - the entire series is a delight to read

Five times august shut down damen 💌 - protective big bro august, need i say more?

Big bro breakdown - august is not homophobic (he insists)

Dont touch your brother's friends !! 💌 - i REALLY like the fucked up dynamics in this one.

Damianos' visit to Arles - everything by @mfingenius honestly

pets and princes - damen mistakes laurent to be auguste's pet and nik suffers as usual

the councils decision 💌- a minute of jokaste simping over auguste GIRL SAME

Like me !!💌- if you think you're ready for this level of angst, you arent. angst almost no comfort but hopeful ending so you've been warned. I really liked the writing and the execution of this, hurts your heart

tricks of the trade - smaurent and only FLUFF

my brother's lover !! - one in which august has an actual life out of damen and laurent (mostly i mean)

Caught 💌- laurent schemes, damen falls in love, Auguste watches & sighs

hockey players damen and auguste

fix-its! - a time of peace & counterclockwise & call for peace & heard it in a past life

Take a slice !! 💌 & its not bad - damen and august solidarity ;)

stained shirts and dance lessons - if you were wondering where the FRATboys!damen & auguste AU at, here it is

miles of distance series - things work out, they don't kill each other

i'd take every blow 💌- auguste finds out.

of soulmates books and spilled guac - soulmate AU slay tbr

and ask no leave of thee !! - fairy AU tbr

the white dove - a man who looks exactly like auguste appears after canon tbr

ive got soul - auguste wakes up ten years after marlas tbr

downsides of being an older brother & downsides of having a teenage baby brother - tbr

NICAISE centric

to be imperfect !!💌- the future shines a shade brighter because one boy learns to forgive himself, Laurent kisses the top of that curly head of hair. all of @peppermintfeather's works make you feel warm inside

and times are changing & for wisdom 💌- he grows to be the wise advisor to the kings (my favs out of this beautiful series)

To share your love 💌!! this post was not just an excuse to include this author's works lmao

the monster inside him 💌!!- contains mpreg but i was surprised into liking it

Hand in unlovable hand - nicaise is like "absolutely not" when these idiots break up and proceeds to be a king

marks of a life well lived - gotta say warrior nic is a good look

A night on the town - nicaise babysits for lamen (big bro nicaise aww)

memory - AUS in which august adopts nicaise>>, a fun read!

HR! im complaining about your boyfriend! - workplace AU

as good as - he told me i'd never be as good as you (aka f*** the regent #238)

put aside childish things - laurent letting nicaise be a child again is everything to me

safe up here with you💌 - nic gets his own love story (had be giggling and kicking my feet too fun to read)

home is where the heart is - laurent comforting nicaise aftermath

many doors and windows - damen convinces nicaise to train

red & when the bough breaks - nicaise killing the regent drabbles cause hey, merry christmas aye?

trees change in the fall - modern AU, they adopt nicaise

NIKANDROS centric

first impressions 💌- The first time he hears Laurent laugh, Nikandros thinks he has gone mad. the third time he cant help but join in

anything for you $ - fine, i'll TRY to not kill your best friend because you're my husband and ily...i guess

non, je ne regrette rien $ !!💌 - this has a poly rlnship pls give it a try its amazing<3

on friendship - he remembers seeing Laurent, and thinking quite clearly, Oh no

five times lamen caused an international incident - nik: deep sigh

this one or not at all - proposals proposals

wont thy be my neighbour 💌- "I’m in love" “........You just met him.”

safe travels !! - read tags, nikandros & laurent time

how nik came to love laurent of vere 💌

whoever gets closest - LMAO

the man drives a motorbike damen! - mother hen nik

naked, afraid and married - modern AU reality TV

MISC (some have aug/nik as main ship)

paramedic AU or would they go on aching still - nik changes his opinion of blond ppl keeping score -!! multichapter found fam vibes a call to motion - jealousy jealousyyy cultural differences cause miscommunication between lamen - short and funny

part I (popular ones) part II (workplace AU) part IV will be rarepairs so look fwd to that! :D and if you see your fic in this and want to be tagged lmk!

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear S3 Capri Live React

WARNING! Spoilers for each episode below the cut!

EP 1 - “Tomorrow”

ASSHFBEJNSNDNEJWNENE AND WHEN IM BACK IN CHICAGO I FEEL ITTT!!!!!! WOOOOOO

CARMY HRJEJWJW YOU'RE OUT OF FREEZER JAIL MY LOVE!!

Oh your poor hand I wanna kiss it, my sweet baby :((

Omg it’s filmed so differenttttt AAAAAA!!!!

Zaddy walked in meaning business lets gOOO

Like I said in TB&HH and many of my one shots this is a STUNNING restaurant - like FUCK!!! Carmy is BRILLIANT !!

Carmen RELAX!! Jesus! With punting the chair!

Omg his notebook from The French Laundry!!! Cute

BRBEBSHSBSNSBSBSBSBSEBVELHCAA LUCAAAAAAA

COPENHAGEN OH MY GO FJEJWBDBD WERE BACK

OHRBE WE ARE SO BACK

New Yorks got everything :( OH this seeaaason is gonna rip my heart to shreeeeeds New York destroyed him.

Oh I think we are getting loads of baby chef Carmy FUCK 

Oh god oh god 'subtract'??? Fuuuuck

I would hate how perfect he always is HAHAHAHA I would haaaate working with him!!!!

Cousin Steve took care of him, I'm glad someone did 🥺

Oh fucking for Carmy to kiss me like that 

The kiss on the nose is everything I want to do in life 

SORRY. THE WORDS OMG GOOD BOY GOOD BOY

OMG SYDCARMY KISS KISSKISSKISSIIISSS

“It’s never gonna happen again” he will die before it happens 

Good apologize to Richie you FUCKING IDIOT and good for saying I’m sorry good for saying I love you. Good boy. Good boy. 

He is about to make everyone miserable.  

“I know you are, honey” that is his real mother figure. 

While Mikey was dying Richie was destroying his marriage trying to save him and Carmy was getting verbally abused in New York. I am…gutted! 

I have thought about Carmy finding out about Mike. I never. Fucking. Thought. They. Would. Show it.

ARE WE SEEING MIKES 

WE ARE OH NY FJEBE WE ARE SEEING MICHAELS FUCKING OH HIS FUNERAL HE SAT. OUTSIDE. OH I AM COOKED THIS SEASON I AM C O O K E D !!!!!

“LET IT RIP BEAR” OH FHEJWBDBDB 

Like a mother Nat snuck the money in his pocket. I’m fuckin CRYYYING BRO THIS SEASON IS GONNA GUT ME 

The best meal Syd has ever had 🥹

The fennel makes him think of Syd because she has an allergy I’m gonna stroke out. 

EP1 ; Final Thoughts - SydCarmy is SO happening if it doesn’t what the fuck are they doing. Baby Carmy is gutting me. I hope Luca doesn’t go away after this episode. Mikey. Oh, Mikey :(((. Natalie? The cinematography - oh I’m about to EAT w these fics. Oh my god.I am fucking GUUTTTEEDDD THIS SEASON IS GOING TO DESTROY ME

EP2 - “Next”

SYD! MY GORL THERE YOU ARE BBY!!!

the AirPod falling out is so real

Lmaoooo her dad !! She is absolutely moving out as soon as she can 

Awww the ‘love you chef’ <3

See this music like shut up SydCarmy or bust!!! lmaooooo

Why is the fourth wall being broken???

His anxiety is so insane he is acting cracked out LMAO

CICERO OH NO - this is gonna be INSANE

Carmy needs to step off Syds dick and give her some control lmfaooo - like ? you don’t even own this place little man.

“Technique is spelt wrong but OK” BYE THIS IDIOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 

“You know buddy, I tried to call in and get you an order but they says you was back in the fridge yelling at yourself” LMFOAAOAOAO VJKFDNVLAKNLKVN I AM CRYING HE IS I LOVE UNC SO MUCH

everyone is asking him why the fuck he’s doing this and he cant say “because i cant stick my dick in syd” so he doesn’t know what to say.

He’s quitting smoking not for his health but to save … time. Alright then.

“The computer drafted the agreement so make sure you have a lawyer look at it” CAAAACKLING 

DAAAAADDDYYYY RICHIEEEE

Carmen shut the fuck up you are in no position for fuck yous.

“I commend your bravery from inside a locked vault” IM DRFNDJSNENN HAHAHAHA GET HIM RICH

“Oh my god am I finally having a stroke?” “Am I having a stroke?” These POOR WOMEN SOMEONE PUT CARMEN ON A FUCKING LEASH

“I insist that you get fucked my good man” BYEEEEE HAHAHAHAHAHA RICHIE IS TOO FUNNY 

They are bickering like BITCHES 

his ego needs to be stroked lmaoooo he’s asking Syd to stroke his ego 

“I know sweetheart, don’t be scared” NATALIEEEE HAHAHAH It's ok Fak I'M scared of Carmy rn lmao.

holy fucking shit Carmen you are driving me CRRAAAAZYY SHUT UP 

“This is scary” FAK, HONEY I KNOW CARMY IS CRACKED OUT

“Every day Jeffery-Ballet?” TINA HAHAHAHA I LOVE THAT 

This IS banana town sweetheart Fak

“Sup PIMP” PLEEEASE HAHAHA

“He was gonna tell us what he said to Claire”- Richie: “classic behavior dysregulation” PLLLEEASE

“Then I actually take it back, fuck you” i love Richie down

“What’s nunya” “nunya fuckin business” THE WAY IM CRRRY LAUGHINGGGGG LMFAAAAOOOOO THIS IS A GLIMPSE OF HIS CHILDHOOD

The gum chewing is sexy 

“Is that what you did” “no i’m just here if you need anything” oh, Carmy :(

Oh, Marcus :((((((. “Take us there bear” “yes chef” oh my god I’m crying again 

EP2 ; Final Thoughts - Carmen needs to fucking relax and I’m gonna say this probably a lot. Omg the fighting with Richie in this episode was pissing me off they are fighting like catty brothers!!! The moment with Marcus at the end really got to me. This was overall though a hilarious episode

EP3 - “Doors”

Marcus mom funeral!! Awww I’m glad they all are there for him. Thiiis is the moms funeral, ok, so they did it all in one day the shooting for both funerals so we wouldn’t know!!!

I wonder how Carm feels he’s there for Marcus’ mom but wasn’t for his brother 

Wow this speech must be so impactful for Carmy to get a glimpse into someone else’s life like this 

Look alive lizards we are OPENN

Richie is so goooodddd at his job 🥹🫶

For the bear and his honey fans princess cake is 100% going in there hahahah

Hmm things are going a bit too well 

Carmy throwing so much good decent edible food away makes me twitch. 

Carmy and his little edible flowers hahaha I love it

“The rare Transylvanian 5 titted goat?!” CICEROOO HAHAHAH

“Joy” “this is a waste of time, give it to sugar” HAHAHAHA

LMAOOO SINGING HAPPY BDAY IN SPANISH HAHAHA LOVE IT

Fak not putting it ON THE TABLE and Richie being like “keep my mans name out of your mouth “ PLLLELEEEASEE

Something abt Carmy cleaning is so hot

GRAAAHHH THAT PIECE OF BACK SKIN POKING OUT OF HIS SHIRT WHEN HE BENDS OVER

They’re being so too hard on tina :((

Richie is bringing patrons to the kitchen and Carmy is just violently bitching Syd out I am dead also, someone get the belt i’m gonna beat him.

This goes out to everyone who said there’s no chance the bear could fail and that it was a stupid idea it could? (cough- ex moots, cough) ; please tell me why they don’t even have a star and they’re already doing poorly with funds

I can’t- Carmen and Richie are fully going at each others throats and physically fighting.

Please Fak just grilling customers for info.

Carmy is SO little brother and I wanna choke him “we’ll figure it out” “ME?” “I’m trying to use less shiiittt >:(“ like a winey bitch - YOU ARE AN ADULT SHE IS THERE TO HELP YOU YOU LITTLE COCKSUCKER DO YOUR GOD DAMN JOB EFFICIENTLY

Carmy is losing it he needs to be medicated ASAP

Thank GOD Syd is putting her foot down and telling him to shut up

Syd looks fed the fuck up, rightfully

EP3 ; Final Thoughts - Holy shit Carmen is going nuts. Sydcarmy is going so hard rn he needs to finish shit with Claire so he can admit his feelings to himself about Syd. He needs to stop being so mean to her, he is going to cause her to panic. Whats so funny is I drafted Carmy bitching Syd out in my OC fic in the most recent chapter before this even came out (but in my world (in girl world) winnie is behind him chewing his ass out and literally told him he’s acting like his old boss) But it’s funny because hes literally telling her abusive ass shit his boss told him.

EP4 - “Violet”

Ohhhhh to kiss Carmy that way. A dream

The nose kiss oh my god oh my god 

He’s such a good listener 

He is so fucking - oh my god this man. This man. I need him astronomically 

Marcus :(((

I love Syd’s scarf but also lmao the stress of that docu - I get you girl hahah

Yaaaay she’s moving! 

This apartment is stunning!!!

DAD RICHIEEEE AHSHDJSHSHJ EVA OMG CUTIE PATTOOOTIEEE

Him laying with her is so cute. 

“He’s not my uncle like Carmy” 🥹PLS SO CUTE

This is so good such kid convo omgggg kids are just like thissss!! He’s such a good dad omfg playing her handdddd fuckFUCKCJCKCJC expect more Richie content soon

DONNAS GOING TO TIFFS WEDDING OMG!!!!!

Yes daddy TAKE THAT RING OFF YOURE A NEW MAN PAPA 

LMFAOAOAOA THEM SCREAMING HELP

“Maybe you’ve reached as far as your talent can go” makes MY stomach hurt, dawg 

“I feel like Bear is starting to respect me” please the way they look up to him I cantttt lmao

YAY MORE DAD RICHIE 

TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!!!!!!!

This Frank guy is weird- they made a great job at making this feel awkward as fuck.

HE DID INVITE HIM TO THE WEDDING OH GOD

that’s my girl! 

Oh is she about to get poached

Oooo like not Carmy??? Oooooo hes trying to poach her

Marcus has such nicely manicured hands

The way they just stuff snacks in faks mouth to make him go away hahaha love it

Mmhmm this season will make me fall more in love with Richie then ever before

Richie. Richie. Richie. Richie. Richie. Oh my god. My heart is being ripped out 

Wait they’re being reviewed for a star?! Already? They JUST opened! 

EP4 ; Final Thoughts - This was SUCH a Richie episode! I loved it alot :))) <3!!! So many Dad!Richie moments that made me smile. He also almost made me cry with his whole being alone thing. I will remedy my sadness with writing Richie fics literally probably tomorrow because holy holy holy this man I need to give him kissesssssss

EP5 - “Children”

So do the Bears all have the same alarm clocks?

Marcus speech really touched Natalie :((

Carmen doing the boxes by himself HAHAHA its what he deserves!! BAD BOY! 

Syd the ultimate good friend helping Marcus with his moms stuff 

Syd looks so cute her outfit is adorable 

Lmaooo Syd with her dead mom club jokes she’s too funny I see why Carmy is so whipped 

The Bear and His Honey is going to fucking SLAP with this new Carmy content WOW

Him throwing away more food that is perfect literally perfect. *sarcasm*

I wanna leave hickeys on Richie’s neck so bad - it’s so pretty 

Omg Carmys mentor closing the restaurant- he’s spiraling and looking at the every second counts she instilled in him- oh god.. Oh god-

Richie has grown so much im so so proud of him! 

He is crushing on this girl from Ever so hard

IS THAT JOHN CENA?!

JOHN CENA IS A FAK I AM DBHSJABDBEBE HAHAHAHAH

Carmy is gonna get his legs broken if he doesn’t cut it out hahahaha

Fak drinking a Capri-sun LOL

Omgggg him saying to fire Marcus you are CRAZY 

Lmaooo Jimmy venting to syd and saying that carmy has a tree up his ass

Carmy finding baby pics I’m SICK

EP5 ; Final Thoughts - WOWOWOWOW This is the last ep. I am watching tonight I need to digest. This was such a cute Richie ep. I am so in love with Dad!Richie. He is such a good, good dad. I also am dead- John Cena as a Fak? And having a mikey esc. Haircut???? And smoking in the restaurant- and then them saying it smells like smoke I am dead as fuck. Richie really really wants this review to go well, I hope it does:((

EP6 - “Napkins”

Good morning! time for e6 It is Directed by Ayo so i fear it is gonna kill me :) !

Well at least Tina has a normal clock 

Oooo get down on it!!!! Let’s go Tina!!! Get in that groove mama! 

Tina is so Puerto Rican mom I love it so so much 

Tina’s married?! I love it!! how sweet 

If Mikey’s in here- I’m gonna fucking die 

Baker tina!! Oh- customer service Tina? No! Books Tina!!! Smart girl!! that’s my lady :))

NOOOO - WHAT ?! THEY’RE LETTING HER GO?!

THIS IS WHAT LANDED HER AT THE BEEF??? THIS???

Oh Tina I’ve been there mama you’ll land on your feet :((( That’s right baby everything will be ok 

One thing about this show is all of the characters need routine 

The degree thing pisses me off to no end because of how real it is. Like shes been doing this 15 years and knows it better then someone right out of school with a stupid degree.

Awww Tina and hubs been together so long!! So sweet I love it her husband is good to her. 

I sooo love Tina is getting her moment the actress is so kind and amazing 

Woah I thought the big interview would be at the beef LOLLLL like not that it’s big but that they really need her lolll 

Oh my god. They hired someone ??? What the fuck and didnt tell her?!! RUDEEEE 

This little fucking prick oh my god yes Tina fuck him

Aw baby I wanna hug her it’ll be fine mama I know it doesn’t feel like it

Bus is delayed SO SHE COULD APPLY AT THE BEEF HAHAHAHAHA

THERES MY MANNNN RICHIEEE!! HES SO HOT AAAA

“Maam you can’t smoke in here anymore” I can’t hahaha

Everyone calling him handsome I can’t hahah he is! But still hahaha

Omggg richieeee I love him he’s always been so sociallll!! Get ready to eat with the beef Richie oh. Wow. This whole scene is so chef kiss i cant wait to write more the beef!richie

FAKS FAKS FAKS ok where’s Mikey HDBDHAHSHEBDNEBSBD. THERE HE IS IN SHFJENSNSJEJEJENDNEJWKA

MIKEY OH MY GOD JEJSNANQ

RICHIE LMAO STOP THEY ACT HOW IN KNOW THEY WOULDDD

“She can’t be crying in here” I am done LMAO

I fear I’m seeing the Mikey crush AAA “sandwich really that bad??” Stop being funny !! I also see how he got Carmy out of his panic attacks what a brother stop Mikey!! Why would you do that Mikey everyone loved you so muchhh 🥺💔

Gosh Mikey IS so handsome

THE HAUNTED EXPLODING TOILET THAT CARM IS STILL DEALING WITH HAHAHAHA

oh my god Carmy takes after him SO SO SO MUCH oh my god Carmy takes after him so much 

Oh my gosh I didn’t realize she was older then Richie!! 46 means something in this show- did Mikey…at 46? If he did I will fucking sue 

OMG SHOWING HER THE PIC OH ANS TELLING ABOUT CARMY SHUT UP HE “hes the shit” he wasn’t allowed to work at the beef because mikey knew that he’s better then the beef. He sees so much in him I knew that was the case!!! I’m sick 

My god !! Carmy!! Takes!!! After Mikey so fucking MUCH!!! 

Oh Mikey- oh. Mikey. Oh Mikey. Oh Mikey. Oh Michael Berzatto. Hit me while I’m down PAL kick me why don’t you?! “I knew I was gonna get skipped because I had people to take care of” I knew this episode would make me sick. 

oh my god when Tina said she loved Mikey she loved Mikey like a good friend and I am so gutted when Carmy says everyone loved Mikey and he just lit a room up and could make anyone comfortable oh my god I’m so gutted!!!!!!!!!!! 

EP6 ; Final Thoughts - This episode let us truly meet Michael & oh my god it’s almost painful to watch these back to back like- this is a lot to digest holy fuck. When Carmen talked about a temp in a room and how Mikey could feel it then lean into it and manipulate it however he wanted. He did such a good job portraying that. I’d give anything for him to have just called Carmy when he was on that bridge and for him to have answered and for Carmy to change his mind. Oh my god I’m so- like oh my god? This show. I can’t.

EP7 - “Legacy”

Carmy so pretty :)

Oh Richie. Thinking about :((( everything. 

Syd thinking of Carmy 

SHE IS GETTING POACHED BY EVER MAN OH NO

good Carmy is back at AI-ANON 

so much fucking family hahahah god I love Italians hey uncle Gary! 

*sighs* good morning, Syd. 

Oh. Ok he’s opening his own place ok…and he’s asking her I KNEW IT POACHER!! POACHER!!!!!

oh my god he’s offering her a real CDC job - with a real good salary,  it would be healthier for her sadly!!!!!!

How’d I headcanon Carmy knew French PUUUURRIODD 😌

“You look nice” ha. Ha. Ha.  Shoot me in the FUCKING FACE

The gum chewing HNNNNG IM CHEWING ON MY CAGE

“That sounds legendary pal” I WANT TO KISS HIM ON HIS STUPID MOUTH 

ARE THEY PART TIME THE BEEF NOW?!! OH MY GOD- THEY ARE!!! EBRA IS LIVINGGGG HAHAH OMG THIS IS SO COOL???

“Matter of fak supply” LOL

Richie is taking this so seriously which makes me more mad how Carmy treats him like he really is so good at the job and loves it.

Aw he really misses Tiff. :( he’s so different now and wishes he could go back so bad but he’s gonna find someone that I’ll be very jealous of bc I need this man SO BAD

Oh him crying abt Mikey- no stop I can’t 

SYDS TURN IN THE BOXESS HAHAHAH

“Hey grandpa” “hey grandma” I love Ebra and Tina sm lol and her mimicking his accent they’re adorable 

“Maybe you can go fuck, Ted” hahahaha I love telling people to go fuck now 

Eva’s drawing in Richie’s host book 🥹🫶

Carmen I wanna choke you out so bad!  Can you take a single suggestion ???

THE BABY IS COMING :D!!!!

EP7 ; Final Thoughts - Another good episode!! Very balanced which I like, the character centered episodes feel very heavy but I still love them. I'm just happy that we got a little bit of a second to breathe!! I think it’s cool how they’re doing the beef on the side, like so cool! I never thought of that as an option. Because it’s true the neighborhood would probably miss their local sandwich spot! I liked this episode a lot :) Carmy can go fuck this episode, though he’s in the dog house and I hope Syd leaves to teach him a lesson! (& it makes him realize he loves her!!!)

EP8 - “Ice Chips”

I’m guessing before we start Nat is gonna find comfort not in her brother, but in Syd! 

Oh poor Nat all alone :( PETE ANSWER THE PHONE- SYD ANSWER -CARMY ANSWER !!! SOMEONE ANSWERRRRR

CLAIRE SHES FINDING COMFORT IN CLAIRE. NO HER MOM!!! OH MY GOD OH DONNAAAAAA WHAT 

oh my god Donna SUGAR oh my god sugar snapping on Donna I can’t 

COACHING. SHES BEING A MOM HAHAHAH PLEASEE 

someone get someone here other then Donna 

My Scorpio sissy Natalie !!! 11/10/88 (this confirms to me carmy is still in his 20s theres no way hes 33 when nat is 34)

Donna needs to leave this is the worst she’s the worst birth partner ever 

At least Donna is being nice 

She never told her mom she was pregnant??? Wow!

Donna’s labor with Carmy being so incredibly hard is honestly canon! That is so funny actually. Yeah that kid makes everything hard for himself! 

lol you get that epidural queen!!!

I’m glad Donna is hearing that she scared them as children. 

Donna is an alcoholic because her mother had problems

Ok I’m feeling Donna sympathy 

Oh a mothers love. Please STOP THIS I DONT WANN A FEEL BAD FOR DONNA 

EP8 ; Final Thoughts - wow. Wowowowowowowowow 0 Carmy and 0 Richie basically but this was nats episode and Donna’s! I am happy we were able to see the sweet side of Donna, I think (and hope !!) she is on the right path to sobriety!!! This episode was very tender , I loved hearing about their childhoods more <3 Nat is gonna be a good mommy!!!

EP9 - “Apologies”

Magic? Ok sick, ok Marcus!! That’s who was watching this ok then wonder what thats about?

“Claire is peace” please- the thought of her gives you a panic attack. 

He’s gonna apologize this episode Jesus we wasted a whole season still no sydcarmykiss. It’s ok guys stay strong we’ll be there next season 

Yes Syd leave him 

Carmen you are nuts!!! 

Richie and Carmy staring at eachother through the window like bears about to kill eachother is freaking me out.

Syd say it -

Oh wait it’s the funeral for ever lol! I forgot that’s the funeral. Ok not worried 

He goes to the walk in to try to make it in his mind like he hasn’t waited all this time to apologize hahahaha 

AND RIGHT TO SYD AND THE AGREEMENNT I DJSJEBDJSJEHSHWHSBD SYDCARMY TILL I dIEEEE

“Missing one, that wouldn’t the the thing happened to be wedged up your ass the last few weeks is it?” JIMMYYYYY HAHAHAHAHAHA

Jesus this man’s eyes literally glow blue 

He owes him sooo much money wow 

Tina and Marcus are so cute

Carmy and his drawings are adorable 

Ten minutes left and Carmy hasn’t said sorry lol 

His little smile at the farm AAAA

Syd ls bringing them food before Carmy 

No she’s right Carmy I’m sorry why wouldn’t it be immediate insurance what is … wrong with you?

Oh my god fak going to see Claire Fak leave now no no no no no no no no oh my god this is so bad 

Mommy Nat 🥹💖

Aw Carmy looking at mikes funeral card 😭💔

EP9 ; Final Thoughts - Why does this season not feel done?! Well prob because they’re gonna do a season 4. But still there’s no way they can finish all of this in one episode. Holy moly the Faks need to stop interfering this is so bad!!!! Too many Faks!! Ok I can’t last episode time AAA

E10 - “Forever” !!!!!!

This mentor I like very much 

He took the popes nose thing from this mentor hahaha

This man who mentored Carmy it’s understandable why he was so driven or like, inspired to keep going

LUCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LUCAAA LUCA LUCA LUCA LUCA

LUCA LUCA HES SO CUTE HRJJEJSJEJDNDJSNSNS “is that injected? Or is it…oh..ok” CUTE SHY EMBARASSED LUCAAAAAA

OMG CARMY MINGLING GOOD BOY!!!

Richie is crushing on Jess hard 

Luca oh baby I wanna kiss himmm oh him 

SYDYFBDNANA. SYD SYD SYD SYD CARMY IS GONNA EXPLODE 

oh my fid oh my god oh my god oh my god his boss his his oh my god 

Oh my god oh m y god “working for a bad boss is the worst because the culture you’re a part of is the culture you create” Carmen is spiraling rn (the next chapter of my oc fic is gonna go crazy)

Syd being more sociable then Carmy bc Carmy is panicking 

This smug bastard loves that he makes Carmen squirm I wanna punch him

“This is why you’re alone you can’t handle this” I’m going to fucking stab something

Carmy finds 0 joy in cooking anymore. 

Richie is so lovable the boss loves him and knew him for less then a week hahahahah

Carmy OH CARMY CARMY CARMY OH CARMY  “generally being you” my jaw is my jaw my jaw my jaw my jaw my jaw on THE FLOOOOORRRRRRRRRR. Oh my god. He’s such this asshole boss I hope he dies holy fuck HOW DARE HE HOW DARE HE HOW DARE HE HOW DARE HE. I WANT TO PEEL OFF HIS SKIN

Luca and Syd??? Ok- I say go for it queen

My mind is blown so far this is so amazing but also how the fuck hasn’t he sorted with Claire and S3 is closing???

Omg after party at SYDS?! Where is Carmy??? literally Marcus and Tina are there and the Faks?? He has to be seeing Claire there’s no way why would he miss out on this!!!!

If only Carmy got to be apart of something fun. Of course he’d deprive himself. OF COURSE

He is… giving Syd ptsd like his boss did to him. She is having done to her what was done to him.

Oh Syd. Oh Syd. Oh you need to get out of there baby it’s killing you. I hate seeing her upset its hurting me.

Their review was bad…. :((((((((((((

YES I KNEW ITTTTTT!! TO BE CONTINUED !!!!! ASDFGHJKLASDFGHJKL

EP10/S3 ; Overall Final Thoughts -

IM CRYING omggggg omg omg omg omg omg omg the whole thing with the boss had me in actual tears. TB&HH is about to eat so hard so so hard oh I have so many ideas AAAA and I’m so in love w Richie even more then last season he is totally crushing on Jess. Oh my god syd needs to get out of the bear Carmy is actually killing her. He is doing to her what his boss did to him and that’s evil!!! Evil evil. Oh my god so many thoughts I have but wow just wow. I can’t most of all wait to read the rest of the fandoms thoughts WOW my fics are about to eat I’m so inspired ALSO SydCarmy fics are about to be so angsty and eeeeeaaaatttttt!! He is slowly killing his girl, also - him being able to say sorry to syd but not claire??? I’m mad that the Faks had so much screentime like they were funny sometimes sure, but waywaaay too much faks. Not enough Nat, not enough MARCUS!! The most powerful touching scene or at least most inspiring of the season for me was the one with carmy & his old boss the sack of shit, that scene is gonna propel tb&hh so farrrr also this whole season is going to! Im so excited to keep writing that. I see people are not liking this season in my peeks on my home page (i didnt want to taint my thoughts) but im kinda surprised - like yes we didn’t wrap everything up & there were too many faks and not enough syd BUT the cinematography was stunning, and we got to see in carmys head which is what i predicted - this season was to get in his head to see 2 main things 1) how he does what he does 2) why he is how he is - and we got both of those answers, I think everyone was expecting this to be the last season and it was never going to be! In order to wrap this up we had to fully understand why carmen is how he is, are you all catching my drift here? I cant wait for S4!!! I feel it that SydCarmy will happen, I know that chefkids will put it in to words because their brain is much bigger then mine - but wow wow and wow. I’m gonna have to watch each episode 10 more times to digest it but wow. Loved it! MOST OF ALL I CANT WAIT FOR S4!!!!!! AAAAA

[fictionfixations]

masquerade malleus vignette

(spoilers for glorious masquerade)

aww

i refuse to believe lilia is oblivious enough not to notice that they dont like his cooking

..although solomon (from obey me) doesnt notice either iirc, but i mean..

..sebek. in a vignette, you literally got his help in cleaning a stain from malleus' labcoat???

...i never thought id hear azul say those words.... what?????

i dont know how it didnt hit me until now but the only reason rollo's plan in glorious masquerade failed was because he was so insistent on having malleus there and taking away all his power and shit?? like. cause. none of us had enough magic to actually overpower the fire lotuses(? i cant remember what they were called), although yuu would be able to make it through with no magic how could we even fight rollo at the end??

and at the point it reaches malleus and he could do something about it, it'd be too late?? because i REALLY doubt he has enough to reach all of those flowers and with enough to completely fry them out. and i doubt the bell would reach it by then.

silver...

is azul even human?? im like pretty sure-ish he's not human. not even half human. just entirely sea creature with a human-like body to probably be treated more normally and not hunted for sport/food through evolution shit idfk (like. idk im pretty sure its a thing where pets look so much cuter to cause us to take them in and shit.)

anyway im just imagining sebek talking azul's ear off about how great malleus is because he finally has a buddy who understands and therefore would be willing to listen to him talk for hours straight about malleus's greatness. AND APPRECIATE IT. HAUIHDSUIhd and azuls just like ………………….. floyd and jade laughing at him from a distance azul sets sebek on them like 'i think those two should come to learn about malleus's brilliance, don't you think? after all, as my colleagues, it is such a shame that they don't share my admiration for malleus, and i am unsure how to put it into words, as malleus himself is so magnificent that even words fail to describe him properly. so sebek, my fellow appreciator, would you lend me your aid in helping them grow to appreciate his brilliance?' okay i ran out of words and started repeating them because ic ant be bothered to look up for synonyms, im not THAT into it okay

ahhh so it is a fleur city song i wasnt sure. ive read in fics that it was, but it was also those fics where songs either have power, or yuu knows a bunch of disney songs that are considered 'forbidden/forgotten songs' or something like that and i cant remember which it was

actually if they put in all that work beforehand i think i get why they were so insistent on waiting for rollo to either confess or not AFTER the social ball and after they left and everything LMFAO

they suddenly changed into their school uniforms (still in diasomnia)

i honestly wouldnt know if id trust lilia that much but sure (i hope it doesnt turn to perfectionism levels tho)

first time we encounter italicized text i think. huh.

lmfao

oh my god (no but why choose idia at that point?? is it cuz his voice meshes well with them??)

ayoo its playing the make a wish (i think thats what the song is called) instrumental in the bg ive heard it way too many times not to recognize it (and sung along. its so fucking cool)

damn

my hands are actually protesting now ah geez (i took a break)

I GOT SO DISTRACTED BY DEUCE (i was re-experiencing enjoying looking at everyones costumes again) I AM AN IDIOT (its lower in opacity to show you that you're on it in the editor)

ooh

i didnt notice the insert paragraph im sorry lMFAO but id forget if i didnt SS it then

ooh some malleus riddle bonding

AH ITS A YUU JUMPSCARE

that seriously startled me like suddenly i just hear footsteps and then BOOM OPTIONS

ayooo malleus and yuu dancing

(alsoo yuu and deuce dancing :D)

WOOO

okay. now.

i feel like. im doing really good progress tackling all the vignettes (currently in EN. after that's GloMas, & Book 6 and 7. ive been avoiding it because not all of the Backgrounds exist, and GloMas has options with completely different dialogue which I can't see them all. i have three different videos of GloMas gameplay but they dont show all options...). all thats remaining is azul's tsumsitter (i have a vid of his vignette. ..i just dont like doing the tsum ones because i never know how to describe the tsum moving) vil birthday bloom (i FOUND A VIDEO finally oh my god. i love doing birthday vignettes) malleus dorm uniform (I have a vid) sebek new year (i have a vid) grim labcoat (i have a vid)

and then the rabbit costume ones which all of them have vignettes iirc and i have videos for all of them (i actually just found them as i was writing this. thank you god. they have no views tho geez. wonder if that means vil birthday bloom exists in a video but just wont appear. this is future me. ...i have been blessed with vil birthday bloom.)

[anatrik]

First thoughts TTPD:

What a lana x folklore girlie win this issss!

1.Fortnight is about matty?? HAHAHAHA also why did this make me think of when holt was going running with the ladies when he was in witness protection??? Crying. Fav line has to be they were supposed to take me away but they forgot to come and get me. So sad but also so cool in relation to her cancellation/return. 10/10

2. TTPD- not so hahahaha anymore IS THIS ACTUALLY A FUCKING MATTY HEALY ALBUM??? There was a typewriter at the 1975 show she performed anti-hero at? Unless its somehow about harry? Who else is tattooed on her roster??? Or is this about herself? Kinda feel like modern idiots/who’s going to decode is directed at us lol😂 9/10?

3.My boy only breaks his favourite toys- went in expecting mad woman rage. Pleasantly surprised. king of my heart to queen of sandcastles he destroys….DESTROYED ME. Are you fucking kidding me rn? Im caling it. Best song. Im crying at 7.30 am this is not funny anymore. Also THANK YOU FOR NOT SLANDERING DAD. I knew you wouldnt let us down like that. Also the chorus sounds like long story short😭 oh this is so sad. Once i fix me hes going to miss me? He was my best friend?😭 he runs because he loves me? Stopp😭😭 1000000/10

4.Down bad- ….aaaand we’re back to MATTY AGAIN? He does not deserve this spotlight but why are all the song so goood😭😭😭 is this why artists love to date problematic men? It unlocks some extraordinary potential? Crazy crazy girl😭 also stay down (bad) 🤌🏾 shes done it again 10/10 also for personal reasons i will be believing this is about joe in that Tom/Joe/met gala overlap period when she was photographed going to the gym a lot and that this is about all that yearning please let it be about that plesplesplesplesplesples also down bad waking up in blood staring at the sky…like i lost a twin is giving bigger than the whole sky🥺

5. So long, london- so so long long, lon-don DONE? ok miss girl😭 the hoax parallels😭 dont be undoing the song i was going to play at my weddddding what is wrong with you😭 my only one my smoking gun to two graves one gun youll find someone??? Also reminds me of la la land :/ how much sad did you think I had in me? You wrote hoax so a lot ok leave us alone. crying again. 10000000000000000/10 oh lol its a track 5 ofc it is😂

6. But daddy I love him- she really said if you ever liked, shared or even LOOKED at the ‘vivaa las vegas’ memes you cant come to the wedding and shes so real for it. Lfgggg. Ubothered unhinged uhmazing. Growing up precocious sometimes means you still hold on to that princess/quarterback wattpad fantasy AS IS YOUR RIGHT QUEEN GO THE FUCK OFF🥳 100000/10 calling out toxic fandom for the first time and we love to see it🫡 this is suchhhh a happy songggg you deserve ALL the chaos and revelry.

7. Fresh out the slammer- god she gets it. Like sure he was great and he is still my biological father and everything but as a decidedly melancholy person myself who has constantly had atleast one close friend in a deep depression I can see how all that heavy lifting can just get heavy at some point especially when youre a partner and their sole lighthouse in wtv storms be out there buffeting their mental health. Its not for everyone and thats so fair and so valid but so sad as well. 10/10 for the honesty.

8. Florida- she really said girlrot summer🫡 this is the lanaest song ever. So lucky one/nothing new coded. This will be the First song I repeat and then so long london. Aaaghhh how i love a self aware melancholic anxious little superstar. 90283749292/10 thank you for giving florence an entire verse whew. Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in is soooo going on my body forever

9. Guilty as sin?- honestly just fuck if it means we dont have to hear about how desirable ratty healy is man ffs. IThe only reason he looks so hot is bc hes forbidden. You have to trust me on this. He’s sooo mid JESUS. U cant be writing hozier lyrics about a man that hasn’t met a shower😭 1000000/10 writing. -16392992/10 content. Unrequited love/lust truly is the greatest weapon in a poets arsenal bc where is this energy in the joe songs binch?😭 this is such a teen in love with a 26 yo creep who called me so mature for my age mom you just dont get ittt anthem😂😂

10. Who’s afraid of little old me?- is a warning 😂 im so here for it. Like yes I still hate matty with all my heart and soul but yes I agree fans should not be allowed so much of an opinion on another persons life and yes I should be afraid (I am). She said aight love letter era over I AM WRITING YOU ALL HATE MAIL AND I’M HAND DELIVERING IT. Shes sooo done pretending to be the relatable girl next door when she’s anything but and is now reminding us of it and yes yes yessss girl OWN ITTTTTTTT. I’ve been saying for agesssss that there is a darkness under all that sunshine from where she clawed her way to the top and this is sooo vindicating. 10000000000000/10 favourite song ever. Mad woman wishes she was who’s afraid of little old me. I am unwell. I am in love. This is the Taylor Swift i stan. The marketing genius the calculating business woman the puppet master with narcotics in her songs thats why we sing along🫡 she so can handle a dangerous man

11. I can fix him (no really I can)- you cant.

12. loml- ofc. OFC. Its the saddest song of all time. OFC. Fuck offf ughhhh. 😭😭😭😭😭 its giving happiness. Its giving divorce. i am a child of a broken home now and my parents still love each other and hold so much regret still. What do i do with thissss? Im just a little girl taylorrr! 1002380292011010101/10 soo so gooood.

13. I can do it with a broken heart- first of all track 13. Love it. Second of all the upbeat barbieness of it all. Third of all I FINALLY PLACED IT. Shes in her unrelatable era. She is not your girl next door. You will never understand her life. She is as much a phenomenon as a person and we literally only see as much as she allows us to and honestly if i have to get put in my place theres noooo better way to have it done. Im having such a great time actually. 10 BILLION TRILLION OUT OF 10 you tellll em girl you FUCKING TELL EM.

14. Smallest man who ever lived- not going to speculate on who it is bc they clearly had a serious problem and its not a joke but damn :/ thats so sad :/ hope they get help? Didnt expect this to be what the song was about at all?

15. The alchemy- she said TRAVIS IS MY BOY WITH HER WHOLE CHEST😌 10/10

16. Clara bow- did she just name drop herself ? I was so right about unrelatable era. Also the Subtle nod to olivia/sabrina noted and appreciated. Lucky one/castles crumbling (mature version) fr fr. Solid legacy song.

17. The black dog- shared your secrets with and location is the same whiplash as a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it🤌🏾 joe songs hit so so different 😭😭😭 1000000000/10

18. imgonnagetyouback- the valiant roar was not so valiant and more of a mew i guess. 7/10

19. The albatross- oh this is the ONE. The album defining song for sureeee. Mad woman on coke. A rose by any other name is a scandal???? Thats my religion right there. Little last great American dynasty twist there at the end! Fuck yea. She does reallly try to warn the men in her life have to give her that. One gazillion/10

20. Clearly god has favourites and they are the ppl called chloe or sam or sophia or marcus😭 ALSO this song is about joe for sure. The internet starlet hasss to be delaney rowe!!!! It HAS TO BE. 10/10

21. How did it end?- shes back for the fans😂 plot twist the breakup is with yall🤌🏾 but yesss say it louder! One gasp and then how did it end. So good. 100/10

22. So high school- lmao aristotle grand theft auto ONLYY taylor swift man😭😂 you know what you want and boy you got her🫡🫡 11/10

23. I hate it here- mother’s having a mental breakdown kids yk the drill🤌🏾 10/10

24. ThanK you aIMiee- what better way to say fuck you to a hater than to thank her for jumpstarting your legacy my god!!! She is insane for this. The capitalisation is a bit petty tho ngl. 8/10

25. I look in peoples windows- once again I thank you for the kindness and respect shown to joe. Never doubted you but thank you nevertheless. 10/10 short as nice to have a friend but it didnt need to be longer.

26. The prophecy- its so sad and humbling to see even a woman at where she is having to beg for love bc that literally is the nature of love. Something humiliating, to have to beg for 🤷‍♀️ cards playing out like fools in a fable cursed like eve got bitten. No one writes like her damn. 10/10

27. Cassandra- very madeline miller on this one. Love love loveee modern takes on tragic greek women. 100/10

28. Peter- ah fuck. This one is going to hurt (it did). 1000000/10 my ribs get the feeling she did😭 all her joe related aches are so bone deeeep ugh. Promises oceans deep but never to keep😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh god it hurtsss it hurts it hurtss

29. The bolter- curious child ever reviled except by her father wow.

30. Robin- OMG! I needed this song growing up sooo bad. That way to go tiger felt so so warm like running into a kitchen after a day of being in the mud and u tell ur mum the silly things u did and shes genuinely interested and impressed by your smol victories. A bajillion/10

31. The manuscript- postmortem of every ex ever🤌🏾 love it.

[illiteratt]

Feb 5 '24

I hate the power you hold on me

Of all the people, of all the "flawless" you, you fucking idiot come into my life hold it between your lips and act like it doesn't even matter to you

You have the power to bite it, to kiss it, either kill it or make it. And what i cant believe is that i made that decision, knowingly. Not knowingly, wrong word, i didn't know shit about what it could become. I gave you that chance, willingly. I could've ignored you, treated you as a friend, say piss of to you. I could have, i did that before. What makes you so fucking different? Why do you stand out between all the people in my life? I love them all, but even before i realised this power of yours (that i love you, unfortunately) you were always a bit different werent you? The closest one, the one that holds me while my mind doesnt even feel real and i dont feel the earth under my feet. I can cry to you. The one that sits next to me all the fucking time (really, how did i not understand it sooner) (you couldnt even tell your own feelings sherlock, shut up) and the absurd thi g isi wanted that too, maybe a bit more subconsciously than you.

Now i am addictive and you dont give a shit. Of course you do, i know you do, i know... you care about me you love me, i know. Thats not what im talking about. I dont even know what im talking about but you heard these speeches a lot from me didn't you? Transparent as hell, im weak, i know. Oh the way I say" i kno" must be so irritating. How do you even stand me. Yeah you know everything good for you dear me now shut the fuck up.

Im not that desperate am i? Not for you, couldnt be. You dont care. You think about me when im actually there, you love me when im around. Maybe thats just normal human behaviour, how could i know?

I know, (again, great) we are in this together. I shouldnt decide your feeli gs for you or how you should treat me worse. I know you care, i feel you care. I look a bit one sided, not from my side tho, yours. Thats why im toxic. I create a a you that hates me in my own mind because i believe you should. How could you not. I hate myself, thats enough evidence for me. I make that decision for you, told you, im toxic. Really. Bad for not only you but everyone around me probably with my self destructive little brain. Oh and how i act like i do t care with all my "i know" s. I know right? I know fucking everything, right, yeah, totally explains why im miserable.

You just hold more power on me than i do on you, and that scares the shit out of me.

5 Şubat

[helaenalyst]

ep 7 fresh reactions

idk what to say. why were they all standing on the rock next to vermithor. why not one at a time. literally what is the logic here. rhaenyra knew what happened the last time? this is on the level of the "one guard for the entire royal family" situation. no one behaves this stupidly. i'm not going to just accept that she lured all those people in to put them in the way of dragonfire so that when the first guy fails everyone dies?? also why start with the huge dragon and not with the other smaller and potentially more manageable dragon? "i have nothing more to tell you" did she even tell them the high valryrian command words. idk what the hell was all that 😭😭😭

other than that i enjoyed the episode, the jace drama was actually really good, he's definitely one of my fave characters at this point. "and even that you take from me" reminded me of alicent's "and to even that you feel entitled" and criston's "it's all that i have to my fucking name" (i will make an edit with this). ill admit i havent been paying that much attention to jace so sorry to his fans if im fangirling over plot developments that are a character assesination i am opening to listening and learning 🙏🙏🙏

alicent's scenes???? i just can't get past the fact that some random guard is living criston cole's dream. the day he leaves there's a riot and alicent needs rescuing and now shortly after she's asking this guard to go live with her in the woods ????????? like somewhere near rosby criston cole is shaking right now and gwayne is asking him what's wrong from a safe distance because the guy might as well be about to implode. he's taking milk of the poppy for it

oscar tully i was not familiar with your game. i enjoyed the harrenhal storyline sooo much my fave part was when oscar loudly proclaimed he didn't like daemon and daemon actually looked hurt. and the kid had to walk up to him like idiot this is all part of the plan. and the looks between daemon and simon strong were so funny. i'm not sure this season long arc revealed new information about daemon's character (we already knew he didn't want the crown right?) but the torture and everything else has been sooooo funny i just love watching him rotate like he's on a microwave

idk how it goes in the books but how is team green supposed to keep up against team black now? alright they have tessarion but counting sheepstealer the blacks have four new dragons? in addition to caraxes when daemon rejoins them, and vermax? i dont know if someone will switch sides but the greens literally only have vhagar and tessarion right now. is helaena going to let criston cole borrow dreamfyre otherwise it's so aegover and even then it would still be

i cant wait for daemons reaction to learning about the dragonseeds... the one thing he cares about is the family won't he be like incredibly pissed??? coming back from self exhile for 5 minutes then going on self exhile again

[frostytherobot]

Maybe plenty of white leftists might have expressed annoyance at identity politics, but wanting representation in media is not a political act or should be described as the problem. By anyone. Even people who say they dont like homophobia. Or championed women 10 years ago or whatever those tags said. (im sorry i cant read them while im writing this :)

Let me also say I fully agreed with their evidence with their Scientist man schtick, that Ghostbusters 2016 was manipulated by the studios to stoke controversy because the movie was unfunny. Because they were right, it was very unfunny. I saw it. So i believe its very true that creating an artificial controversy can get people to see a movie/show. Mike knows all about that fact, he reported about it with the Ghostbusters controversy, but yet still he flames on this acolyte controversy with this both-sidesism stuff. Saying that somehow identity-politics is equal part the problem. Between people who want diversity in their media and those who do not want it. i dont see how anyone doesn't see the inherent bigotry in that. Unless you see white straightness as the default. Especially when star wars has how many dozens and dozens of shows/movies? and only relatively recently has diversity crept into it. If you don't like the acolyte show, thats ok, dont watch it, watch something else. What's the problem?

Maybe you are right that they just are not using their words correctly. I might even buy that cause i love their content, and do not want to think of them like this, but that video felt tortured in trying to appease right wing bigotry by saying not wanting diversity is on equal footing as wanting it. does anyone actually believe that? Because it sounded like he was saying that by calling identity-politics the problem

trust me i'm also fucking sucking ducking tired (lol that is a great line) with trying to calmly explain that wanting diversity in media is only political if you see "white straightness" as the default.

thank you for listening.

peace and love.

Maybe it’s just not coming across to me in the way they worded things that they inherently think of whiteness/straightness/cisgenderness as the default. But then again, they’re white guys.

I do think that while Mike seems to act like he doesn’t care about what people think of him, he feels the need to tiptoe around his language or hide it behind (not great) jokes, because it is his channel and the way he and his friends can afford to live, all things considered. It’s a problem with trying not to alienate the kind of audience he’s accumulated over the years, and the comments section on that video does indicate the kind of vapid, idiotic audience they have. That’s another conversation totally, and one that needs to be had, but not really what I’m talking about right now.

I think I do understand what you’re saying though, showing both progressive and reactionary views on media being part of the problem is kinda shitty, BUT I don’t totally think they were trying to say people seeking representation are the problem. Moreso championing the products of a corporation that don’t write well-rounded and three dimensional characters, especially doubling down to fight with reactionaries is. When we have algorithms always feeding us things that are tailor-made to make us angry, it’s a problem that we’re feeding that machine. Again, I just think they’re really bad at what they’re trying to say, especially because Mike has a tendency to poke the bear with just about everything. Another problem considering that doesn’t come off well in serious conversation, but that’s just how he is.

I will say I don’t know their full views on everything, but because of the opinions they’ve shared in the past and the discussion they had with diverse representation in other shows and how much they like them, I don’t think they’re bigoted. Maybe just stupid. But perhaps that’s just me wanting to think the best of them, because I do understand where they’re coming from even if they’re not articulating it properly, and I do understand being angry with them because of that.

I really don’t want to seem like I’m arguing blindly for two people I don’t know, but I don’t want to outright claim they’re the same kind of people who are totally opposed to marginalized people existing in media. Peace and love to you too!

[yveltalreal]

tbh zygarde seems way more likely than houndour

HOW. HOW IS ZYGARDE MORE LIKELY? HOW IS A LEGENDARY POKEMON WITH NO PROOF OF EXISTENCE IN MY WORLD MAKE MORE FUCKING SENSE THAN A POKEMON THAT IS CONFIRMED TO LIVE ON THAT ROUTE THAT I RECOGNIZED??

you werent fucking there dont pretend you know what happened more than me because you werent. fucking. there. you arent in my world you arent in my life you dont fucking know what happened. you didnt lose an eye you didnt get permanent nerve damage in your fucking hand you didnt end up covered with scars across your entire body. you didnt feel the cold unfeeling hospital you didnt feel alone because your mom stayed behind in a region that was not her own to make sure you werent alone but you had to be alone because you couldnt be with her. you didnt have to force yourself not to be afraid of your own service pokemon. you didnt have to force yourself to come to terms with the fact your starter might evolve and you might be afraid of her too.

i know they were houndour and houndoom. i know they were hounds i know they were. i spent almost every moment of my fucking life with that same species. my moms houndoom was one of the pokemon that practically raised me. my entire family is nothing but hounds and teeth and you want to tell me i cant recognize a fucking houndoom. that my trauma has picked the wrong dog. i fucking wish it wasnt houndoom i fucking wish it wasnt that pokemon. do you know how fucking badly i wish i could look at my own mother without fearing she'd rip me apart like the pack of houndour too? do you fucking know how much it hurts to be afraid of your own mom when its not even her fucking fault? do you know how fucking hard it is to be afraid of my aunt and uncle and grandma and everyone else who has only ever loved and cared for me?

my entire childhood was spent petting houndour and houndoom. knowing them as safe. knowing them as family. it so scary to see what meant safe become what means danger. its so scary to be isolated from so much of my family because just looking at them makes me feel the teeth and the flames and the way my throat hurt from screaming from help when it was just me and the fucking dogs. no one helped me no one was there to help me no one was close enough to help me for THREE FUCKING DAYS.

IT WASNT FUCKING ZYGARDE IT WAS HOUNDOUR I KNOW IT WAS HOUNDOUR STOP PRETENDING YOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS. YOU DIDNT HAVE TO FEEL THEIR TEETH AND THEIR FUR AND THEIR FLAMES AND THEIR CLAWS AND THEIR TEETH AND THEIR BREATH YOU DIDNT HAVE TO BE CHOKED OUT BY THE SMOKE, UNABLE TO SMELL ANYTHING BUT DOG AND FLAME AND BLOOD.

i could have died. i should have died and i didnt and all that happened was im afraid of my own family. i should have gotten my own houndour by now. it should be a houndoom by now. but i didnt fucking get one because i cant even know one might be nearby without being unable to breathe. i cant even look at canine pokemon without crying or my chest feeling tight. somtimes i can force myself through but never for houndoom. never for fucking houndour or houndoom. ill just feel their teeth again, pulling away, leaving me with nothing left.

maybe if i was a zygarde id be happy i got attacked. happy that i could prove that a legendary pokemon was real but its not real. its not fucking real. what is real is the pokemon that nearly killed me that you claim you know more about

so no. zygarde is not more fucking likely. you know whats more likely? that you're a pathetic piece of fucking shit who probably lives in their mothers basement because they're too fucking stupid to make it through high school or keep a job. whats more likely is that you have no friends in real life because no one can stand how fucking annoying and stupid you, so you have to surround yourself with fellow idiots online who have the critical thinking skills of a walnut. whats more likely is that

Bzzzrt! Everything above this is typed by Maple! He deleted this all and shut off his phone before actually replying but I put it back for you because you deserve to be called a dumb fuck like the idiot you are <3 -Love, .Zip, ZZT

[yyyww4]

YOU HID ME you never saw a futture with me you had no intent of staying with me youlied sabout not leaving me yousaid you woukd never let me go yousaid you werent planning our breakup dont lie dont lieto me domt fucking lie to me i fucking hate liars im sureyou were thinking about ut every single day you lie about eveyrhting to mei know you do im not a fucking idiot imnot stupid i knowit i know it you never tell me anything youkeep sugarcoating youre justlike everyone else everyoine lies to me im a fool for beleiving you im a foolfor thinking that good things could come to me that i deserve it thatits not a fabrication ishoukd have known snd idid everythi i coukdand its never enough and iholf mysekf accuntable i knowhat im responsible for but you cant even recognize what yiure responsibke for in a relaitonsjhip its like imsupposed to take care of everything and nothing is your responsibility and everything is my fault its alweaysmy fault it will forever be my fucking fauklt im always the problem you never put yourslef in anyone elses shoes but yours youre so fucking selifish its unbelievable yet i have and always will put muyself inyour shoes regardless iwill always try and see things dfromyour perspectuive i will always try to understand even ifyou dont tell me fuckinfg anything because you neber fucking did you never told me shit yet its like im supposed to read your fucking mind and i always tryand givre yoiu compassiaon andyet you never do the same for me you refuse to unserstand thinsg from my point of view its alwaysmmy fault im always doing everything wrong i cant do anything righht no matter how hard itry how much effort i oput in its never enoiugh you didnt even regcognize myefforts tdont try to pretentoyu did DONT FUCKING PRETEND dont try and lie and tell me you acknowledge my efforts thatyyou dont take them for granted YES YOU FUCKING DID you have neveer once thought about h9ow fucking hard ive tried to fix things and understand you and notmake the same wrongdoings and work on myself and changes did happen things changed yetyou refused to realize and in the end itsall for shit i ruin myself over snd over again trying to figure thinsg out trying to findout ehat i was doing wrong what coukd iahve done differently and pleas youshould have just fucking communicated with me you feed into your own ideations and want to bask in your discomfort and shame you willingly choose to assumethat id reject you nomatter how many times i reassure you and comofrt you and tryto talk to you and understand you and propose ideas or ask ifyou needed space or whatever you disregard it all whatmore did youwant fromm me what woukd you habve liked me to have done atp its not me thats a you problme IT ISNOT MY RESPONSIBULITY TO KNWO HOWYOU FUCKING FEEL AND I CANNOT CONTROL HOWYOU REACT AND RESPOND imsorry that i cant read your fuckign mind irecogngnize i couldve been more perceptive and proacitbve aboutthings andyour feeligns and emotions and experiences are valid please know ido not dismiss my actions and the negative impact ivehad i am beyond guilty imashamed im disgusted in mysekf i always have been but dont tell me bullshit like "you shoulkdhave asked how i felt" WHNEYOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TOLD ME YOU CANNOT MAKE THAT MY FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY especually whenyou gave me zero signs of feeling negativly likehow the fuck was i supposed to know whenthe only thing you ever expressed was excitment and fullfiment and encouragement andyou showered me with sweet words LIKE DOYOU WANT ME TO PULL UP OUR MSGS DO YOUWANT ME TO RECITE WORD FOR WORD HOW EACH OF OUR INTERACTIONS IRL WENT HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IMSORRYU OKAY IM SORRY FOR BELEIVING YOU IMSORRY I SHOUJKLD HAVE KNOWN IM SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A FUCKING FOOL IOMSRORY IM SORRY FOR LOVINGYOU IMS ORRYR FOR EVEYRTHING IRREALLYT AM and pelase dont say that my love was conditional my love foryou was never conditonal i dint fucking understand how you felt that my love was conditional i will always loveyou regardless even if youdont love me evenif you hate me even if you ignore me eve

[regryrth]

Note from that dumb anon in case ur here

I just want this whole thing to have never happened and for me to never have said those things. Originally I thought my confession got deleted for being hate but whats even worse is that it didn’t. So I’d like to dedicate all the self-pity I’m unfairly feeling right now to the victim of my actions DRDT Dev. They are a lovely person and creator and their typing style is perfectly ok. I was an idiot for thinking otherwise And an even bigger idiot for thinking it was ok to post. And a dumbass for blaming it on something you can’t control. While neurodivergence and trauma can show up as reading harmless actions as malicious or vice versa. That wasnt at all the cause of what I said and did. Talking shit isn’t something you can or should blame on a condition that people can’t control. It just taints the real image of that condition and makes the stigma so much worse for everyone, including the people who do it themself. The DRDT Dev shouldnt have to worry about what they post or how they post it cause the fandom loves and cares for them and their content either way. But thanks to people like me and anyone else who feels the need to bring up shit about DRDT Dev and other perfectly good people thinking they won’t see it, they dont feel comfortable anymore. Now cuz of what I thought would be just another silly confession with like 3 notes I may have ruined a part of the fandom that I and everyone else loved. We loved DRDT Dev and their content, I know we did cause I was there to see and enjoy it too but I still thought it was ok to submit that stupid fucking confession. Im terrible for that. I accept full responsibility, and no one else- no not even the people who agreed- deserves to share that blame. Any of the discorse. Or anything that comes to me as a consequence. I cant ask for much after such a stupid decision, but I want to request that Anyone who reads this doesnt blame attack insult rant about anyone related to this who is not me because it’s not their fault and doing that will only make everything worse. I know what I posted is basically the opposite of what Im saying now in a way. But I dont want the fandom to be hurt. I dont want the fandom to have even the tiniest scratch in it after this. I love our fandom, me aside it’s like a tiny community of amazing kind creative people who all support each other and love DRDT. I dont want that to change just because of one idiot who couldnt keep their opinions to themself. So that’s my request here. Im not saying hate should be ignored or normalized though I suppose thats dumb to claim cuz of me staying anon. Sorry. going non anons the one thing I dont feel ok doing. But still. I’m saying that anyone who thinks its ok to do this should be fairly punished and taught their mistakes. And that they apologize even if no one forgives them. But mostly Im saying here specifically is that DRDT Dev didnt deserve what I said. Its not true. And it wasnt ok for me to say let alone how I said it. And like I said- DRDT is one of my favorite things in the world. So from now on Im going to try my hardest to 1, Take responsibility, 2, Think before I speak, and 3, Only speak kindly about others. And somehow I wish I could make it up to DRDT Dev because they and their work is so amazing. There an amazing person and I am eternally sorry to them and anyone else Ive upset. And I dont want them to stop that because of me.

Thats it. Thanks for reading all this if u did and again Im sorry. I love you all