#but i can't function without sleep ;w ;

[watermelinoe]

i wish i didn't need so much external validation that i'm not worthless but my desire to perform well has been ingrained in me since early childhood

[antinitoniny]

anton as your affectionate bf: headcanons

this is so long help + it’s organized in sections 😁😁

💭 anton x fem!reader

💭 texts in pink: oc, texts in blue: anton

💭 fluff fluff fluff (and crack)

physical touch

- anton might be the humanized version of ‘physical touch.’

- hand always on ur back or around ur hips

- top of the head kisses

- fixing ur necklace or hair while you’re talking

- as long as you’re in the same room, anton can’t last a minute without physical contact.

- anton’s hand will always be on ur hip or around ur waist.

- he’s backhugging u like 30% of the day

- morning kisses. barely awake kisses.

- tracing anton’s nose while he’s sleeping (he’s actually awake so he’s giggling w his eyes closed)

- “TON I LOVE U BUT IT’S SO HOT. STOP HUGGING ME” “are we breaking up”

- waking up w his leg on you, his face nuzzled on ur neck, and his hand placed light on ur head — it’s a heavy morning.

- “can i bite you?” */stares at anton for 5mins* “is that a yes”

- imagine being against pda while dating a guy who'd tear up if you sit on the other side of the table at dinner? yea, anton.

- fav kissing spot: anton’s nose

- his fav kissing spot: */his nose bled while trying to answer the question

- you guys would last for 5hrs on the couch in silence as long as anton’s wrapped around you

down bad anton

- when he’s talking about his day but you’re rlly focused on what he’s saying so he got flustered all of a sudden “stop staring at me, you’re making me nervous” — “YOU’RE telling a story, where else am i supposed to look at?”

- suddenly smiling from ear to ear during breakfast because “1 year ago, i just thought you’re really nice to me and now i’m eating breakfast with you in our shared apartment” */insert anton giggles (and grumpy you ‘coz u js woke up & he’s talking non sense)

- smiling from ear to ear whenever he hears ur name in his group of friends. (would result to 1hr of anton yapping about how cute you were yesterday and the day before that, and two weeks ago)

- anton buying matching EVERYTHING. and giving them to you with a shy smile.

- matching rings, matching trinkets, matching bracelets, matching phone cases— told u, everything.

- “why are you hugging me all of a sudden?” “you’re the cutest i adore you so much” (you’re just eating bread)

- “hi, can we date with the intention of marrying you & having pets as many as you want”, “anton, we’ve been together for almost two years”, “oh, i thought i was being delusional”

- even on casual days, anton would send his newly made playlists for you.

- "i'm gonna take a nap" "okay, me too" "are you sleepy?" "no" "then why..?" "i wanna take a nap with you"

- anton taking care of you when you're sick. and you always feel bad. "baby, sleep somewhere elsee. you'll catch my fever" "i can't sleep without you next to me"

- "have i told you that i love you?" - anton says while eating dinner.

- anton having five story highlights with just you

- anton using a photo of the two of you as his profile photo in every social media platform.

- has two pouches of things that you MIGHT need in his everyday bag (thats why his bags r always gigantic)

- anton's really expressive. he's expressive but would get shy right after saying that he loves you.

cute stuff

- "they're cute, they're just like us" - anton w every single couple in a romance movie

- anton learning how to cook your favorite foods & baking ur fav pastries at home

- would always be on a facetime w u even in social events (he can’t function w/o seeing u)

- anton massaging u after a long week !!!

- handwritten notes :(

- anton writing post-its and sticking it on ur forehead while you’re sleeping whenever he has to leave early in the morning

- anton writing DETAILED handwritten letters for you every monthsary to tell u his favorite moments w u that month, to tell u that he’s proud of u for every single thing that u’ve done that month. he’s such a words of affirmation guy.

- anton not ordering a lot because he knows that u get full easily so he’ll get to eat ur leftovers anyway

- but anton would always make sure that you’ll eat A LOT. that’s why he’ll research a lot about the restaurant menus that you’ll eat in.

- anton brushing your hair every night

- anton letting you style his hair (once went to work w pigtails)

- reading together (and anton falling asleep on ur shoulder right after one chapter)

- SUNDAY RESET IS ANTON’S FAVORITE DAY !!! the everything shower, doing each other’s nails, cooking together, eating a homemade fancy dinner with candles, talking about your week, and ending the day with wearing couple face masks while watching a 2000s romcom movie.

- anton going with you to ur nail appointment and him sitting next to you for 2 hours.

- anton’s closet is basicslly your closet, and your closet is basically anton’s.

- you wearing anton’s clothes & anton wearing your watches and accessories in a daily basis

- gazing at each other in the midst of the crowd, exchanging warmest smiles

- anton running to you to carry you in a hug

- you mentioning that you like this specific cake ONCE in a casual conversation and anton buying it for you every night.

- “did you hear something?” “BABY STOP SCARING ME”

- when you wanna wear something revealing but you asked anton first so now he doesn’t know if he’ll be mesmerized with you or he’ll be offended that you think he won’t let you wear that

- anton waiting for you to come home til midnight because he wants to have dinner with you (it’s 12am)

- anton carrying your handbag / shoulder bag as if it’s his bag.

soft spots

- arguments w antons barely happen but when it does, it often ends almost immediately.

- anton’s always the one to apologize first. even though you’re at fault, anton makes sure to talk to you without making you feel invalidated.

- anton’s definitely a date to marry guy. which is why during deep talks, he’s always talking about the future with you.

- anton finding you crying. he won’t ask why, he’ll just hug you warmly til you feel better. once you’re feeling better, he’ll buy u guys pints of ice cream and watch your comfort movie in silence and in each other’s arms.

- imagine anton’s soft voice welcoming you home after a tiring day. "how was your day, my love?" anton asks, carrying your bag, gently pulling you to the couch so he can massage your shoulders while you spend 2 hours talking about your day.

- mornings with anton are always so warm. you're cooking your breakfast while anton's just hugging you from the back. his face buried at the side of your neck, while talking casually about your plans for that day.

[luvyeni]

𐙚 : PERV!BOYFRIEND HEADCANNONS ( l. sohee ) !

p. boyfriend!sohee x fem!reader w. 0.3k

warnings?

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

perv!boyfriendsohee who's down right obsessed with you , he needs to be around you , it's like he can't function without you , wherever you go he wants with you , whining when you try and get away. "baby where are you going?" "sohee i have to pee." "let me come with you , i can sit on the tub with you." "no."

perv!boyfriendsohee who shamelessly takes pictures of your ass , in jeans or a skirt he doesn't care , he snapping a photo to jerk off to when he can't be near you.

perv!boyfriendsohee who jerks off on the phone while you're talking on the phone about your day ,and he's not even hiding it , you can hear slick nosies of his cock, his groaning interrupting you as you speak. "sohee , are you jerking off." "fuck , i could help it your voice is so sexy."

perv!boyfriendsohee who constantly has his hands on your ass , anywhere, in front of anyone , if it's your parents he'll sneakily do it , so it looks cute , but his hands is literally squeezing your ass. "you too are so cute." your mom squealed , you smiled as she walked away , turning to him. "seriously , she's right there." "im sorry , i just love your ass so much."

perv!boyfriendsohee who takes your panties , jerking off into them , leaving them for you to find your panties , ruined and covered in his cum. "fuck im sorry baby , i got too excited , your panties just feel so good on my cock."

perv!boyfriendsohee who loves when you choke him during sex , like he will take your hand and put it around his neck , eyes rolling to the back of his head cumming. "fuck baby , i love that so much , please choke me more."

perv!boyfriendsohee who loves facials , but when you're sleep (its consensual tho !!) he is nasty , jerking his cock off to your sleeping body , moving your tank top to let your breast free , finishing all over your face , taking a picture to show you before cleaning you up , if he's feel extra gross , he'll leave it on your face , so you'll wake up with his cum dried on your face , whining at the sleeping boy.

©️LUVYENI

[kimberly-spirits13]

SFW Fluff Alphabet w/ Jason Todd

A= How affectionate are they

he's like a teddy bear and wants to cuddle all the time

he always wants a kiss or a hug and wants you to know how much he loves you

Jason's affection knows no bounds- he makes sure that you feel great and are doing perfect and that everything in life is alright

Cold? He's got a hoodie and a blanket. Sad? He's a leather shoulder to cry on. Happy? He's happy too

he likes to be touching at any moment

On patrol you're rubbing shoulders and he's as close to you as possible without straight up hugging you, he's got a hang on your back, hand on your thigh, he's got both hands holding your hands, you two link pinkies, his hand is in your hair, his hand is on your cheek, any form of touch

B= Bond- What do you bond over

Jay really, really likes reading so if you're into reading, he wants to talk about it a lot

if you're not a reader, well surprise, you are now

hearing him talk so highly of his books makes you want to read, just so you can talk to him more about them

He likes to work on his bike and clean his weapons so if you're down to help him, he'd be so excited

if you also have a tragic backstory, get ready to trauma dump with each other

he's got a deep respect for those who have lived through terrible tragedies and are still functioning members of society (even if it's partial functioning)

C= Cuddles- How do they cuddle

Cuddle monster

like it's cheesy but it's how you describe him

he also loves sleeping on top of you with his head buried in your neck or using your chest as a pillow and he's got his arms wrapped tightly around you

he likes to be the big spoon since he finds it uncomfortable for someone his sized to be cuddled lol

he's a giant so just let him tuck you into his chest and snooze away

he likes to cuddle in minimal clothing sometimes, not in a sexy way but in a he really likes having you close to him at all times

plus, he's a space heater so it's not like you're going to get cold

D= Domestic- What are they like domestically 

he loves being domestic

you two have a nice medium sized apartment with a guest room or two and your bedroom and an office maybe with a big kitchen and living room and a washer and dryer room

He makes bank on that criminal mastermind gig

Plus, if you're working, it helps being dual income

He really likes cleaning around the house and you think it's a stress reliever for him

there are temporary dance breaks during cleaning and he likes to dip you down and kiss you to whatever song is playing- he secretly finds it adorable when you dance on his feet and he will not complain, but don't tell a soul deary

he really really really likes to cook too

Your place always smells like a master piece and Jason really likes going to William Sonoma

it's the fanciest place that he will willingly go to

E= Ego- How much do they think about themselves in a relationship

He's got boundaries like a normal human being, but the dude is really selfless

Jason just wants everything to be alright and he is able to make compromises where they need to be made

the one thing that he really, really cares about is making sure that his weapons, bike, helmet, and things are all in check

I wouldn't recommend going around and messing with anything unless you have to

Like he's not going to be mad at you, but Jason just prefers that that stuff gets left alone unless specifically told otherwise

F= Fights- How are they during and after fights

fights are few and in between but when they happen, they happen

it's not really ever over anything small because you can quickly just talk it out with Jason

if it's over something like a mission or safety or doing something reckless, it's a big fight

he doesn't yell, he hates yelling at you, but his eyes go dark and he's so angry

he's probably clenching his jaw and just has to take a minute to cool off at some points

"I'm not ignoring you, I just can't talk about this while I'm this angry about it."

and he'll go on a brisk walk to cool off

he comes back and sits down and talks about it less angry

Alfred once told him, "it's not you against Y/N, it's you and Y/N against the problem. Don't be upset with each other that you have differing views or wants, that's how humans work, we're all different. Anger only gets grown men into bat costumes Master Jason."

G= Growth- How does your relationship change them

Jason actually becomes more secure in himself

it's like you've taught him that he deserves to be loved, so it's easier for him to accept that he doesn't hate himself

he's more patient, more deliberate with the things that he does and says and because of this, he comes home from patrol less and less injured

H= Hugs-What are hugs like

big bear hugs

he likes to engulf you and make sure that you're not leaving for a little while

He likes all kinds of hugs because it means that he's close to you, but he prefers the ones that turn into cuddle sessions

he'll run his hands through your hair or scratch your back

sometimes when he's having a bad day, he just needs to burry his head in the crook of your neck and have you whisper that it's going to be alright

I= I love you- How fast did it take for them to say II love you

he doesn't say it too fast, but he also doesn't take forever to say it

It's maybe like a year or a bit less into dating and he has to leave for a mission

You were either not going to go because you're not a vigilante, or you needed to stay behind to make sure that some crime mob wasn't starting back up

He says "I love you" when he's about to leave

He doesn't want to leave you, but he knows he has to

He hugs you so tight when you say it back

it means the world to him that you care about him like that

it's a rib crushing soul and he thinks about it the entire mission

J= Jealousy- How jealous are they

I'd say he can be pretty jealous but also he's easily leveled off

if someone is taking your attention and he's not getting as much as usual, he inserts himself into conversations or situations like a Golden Retriever

he just kinds of sits there and stares at your or rubs circles on your hang until you give him attention

If it's someone flirting with you, he likes to make some sort of show out of it

If there's someone flirting with you at a gala (which happens a lot), he pulls you in for a dance and kissing you in the middle of the dance floor

You know what he's doing but you're not going to deny it are you

K= Kisses- How do they kiss/ where do they like to be kissed

He likes to be kissed everywhere

his shoulders, his abs, his collarbone, his neck, behind his ear, his cheek, the forehead, on the lips

you name it

he really prefers a real kiss though

that's his go to

L= Love language- What’s their love language 

quality time and physical touch

he just wants you

Jason would melt into you at any moment if it meant he got to be close to you

He wants to spend time with you, even if you're not doing the same thing, and he wants his body touching yours somehow

M= Mornings- What are mornings with them like-

he's the kind of guy that sets an early alarm if he has to get up so that he can cuddle

mornings are basically always slow and warm and cozy

he likes to cuddle in the morning and have himself wrapped around you

sometimes before bed, he turns the AC colder so that when you wake up, you have to be close together to keep warm

if he wakes up before you, he'll either go back to sleep, or he plays with your hair until you wake up

N= Nicknames- What are their nicknames for you

doll

babe

love

darling

hottie

hot stuff

angel

love

O= On Patrol- What’s it like being on patrol with them

He likes to keep a close eye on you

You have to learn that it's not because he doesn't trust you, it's because he's always worried about the people he loves getting hurt or dying

he wants to make sure that at any moment something goes South, he's there to protect you

he flirts a lot on patrol

He also likes cracking jokes while he's busting skulls

it's one of the more morbid things he does

he likes to team up on patrol and always wants to know what you're doing and how you're doing

the two of you will often be seen near the bank building eating fast food perched on the ledge

he'll totally take you to his favorite gargoyle don't worry

P= PDA- What’s their stand on PDA

loves PDA, loves touching you

he's not gross about it like he's never making out with you in front of a crowd but he's always got an arm around you or a hand on your thigh

There are plenty of pap pictures of him with his arm wrapped around your shoulder while talking to you or glaring at something/ someone

if you're also famous for something, the paparazzi are always there but ten fold the intensity if you weren't famous

articles are always being written about Gotham's favorite couple

America's favorite couple if you're big enough

Q= Quirks- What are their quirks

he really likes to keep things really, really clean

usually your house is spotless because he's cleaning up after himself and you do the same

sometimes partners just get comfy and leave their crap everywhere

not Jason, he's clean as can be, not because he's uncomfortable around you, but because it's comforting for him to be in a non chaotic space

you know that he's stressed when he starts leaving things everywhere

R= Remember- Do they remember the details or the big picture

Jason remembers everything down to the final detail

there's like an always open compartment in his brain that filters and sorts the information about you and your relationship

he knows what you like and dislike, who you're beefing with at all times, what flavor candies are your favorite, what food you don't like, if there's a spice you don't like, he knows how you prefer your clothes and what color metal for jewelry you prefer, he knows how you like the recoil on your guns if you have any, he remembers the washing detergent that you use and the dryer sheet scent and brand

man knows everything

it's like that one kid that just knows random, niche information that no one expects them to know

he knows it allll

S= Security- How do you two feel around each other

he feels so safe and free around you

he just knows that if there is a problem, you'd be able to handle it

If there was a moment when he was taken out, he knows you'd protect him somehow

he gets all soft around you and he feels comfortable letting his guard down

You can trust that he's always there for you and that no matter what, he's going to be there for you

Jason is loving and attentive and wants to take care of you in any way possible

T= Taste- what do they prefer in a partner 

he needs someone that can keep up with him

he's an intellectual, even if doesn't seem like it

he's an analytical person and needs someone that can have conversations with him and be on his level

Like you really don't have to be a straight A student because not all smart people are straight A students

I mean come on, Albert Einstein was reported to be a bad student and he's a genius

he also wants someone that puts some care into themselves

if you're running around without a care in the world, stepping into oncoming traffic because you don't care, it's going to stress him tf out

U= Understanding- How understanding of you are they

Jason is extremely understanding of life

I mean it's screwed him over a few times so he knows that it can get difficult

Jason also needs someone that is understanding of him

they understand why he maybe doesn't want to watch IT, or he sleeps a lot when he can, or he doesn't like loud noises and ticking sounds

Jason being understanding though doesn't mean that he's easy to use

Oh he understands alright

he understands that he hates the people that try and use him for gain

V= Value- What do they value most in a relationship

Jason values someone that will be just as enthusiastic about something as he is

He loves someone that wants to be around him and talk to him

he need someone that he can vent to without judgement

he needs someone that respects his personal boundaries (as any normal human is like)

he needs someone that can understand that even if sometimes he messes up, he's really, really trying to turn out better than he was told he would become

W= Work- Do they balance their work schedule well around your relationship 

he's pretty good at balancing work around your relationship

it helps if you're a vigilante too

sometimes things comes up and he has to skip a date or comes home extra late and he really, really hates it and feels so bad about it

he's sure to call and text you all the time to make sure that you never get stood up somewhere or that you know what he's doing and what his intentions are

He never wants you to feel like you're being left behind or put on the back burner

X= Xtra- Extra headcannons

He's got good taste when it comes to interior design

he got an apartment where he did to make sure that it would always have sunlight during the day

I'd say he's a handy person too

I mean he worked with Bruce his entire life and does mechanics, he can't be that bad at fixing a bad pipe or general maintenance

Y= Yearning- How much do they miss you when you’re apart

Jason hates LOATHS being without you

if you're out of town for a mission or something, he doesn't sleep well and he struggles to chill out

he's always on edge wondering if there's something wrong that needs fixing

whenever you're reunited, he's all over you

the "never leaving you again" mentality

he's not obsessive but he really, really misses you when you're gone

like his other half or one of his lungs is missing

Z) Zeal- How dedicated or enthusiastic about the relationship are they

when he's serious about something, he's all in it

he loves being around you and making leaps in your relationship

he values your company and everything that you have to offer and he just thinks that you're the greatest thing to exist since indoor plumbing

there's no cheating, no longing looks at someone else, there's nothing that indicates anything going on between him and someone else

He's just there for you and that's it

he is yours and yours only and that's how he prefers it to be

[limbuscompanysituations]

W-Corp sinners hearing rumors about a ghost on the warp train, appearing with unharmed/sleeping passengers. Through investigation they encounter the ghost, only for said ghost not only to recognize them, but recount the previous times they've encountered them. (Ghost Reader x W-Corp Sinners)

I'm not joking when I say this is VERY LONG. It goes as follows: a brief meeting about the WARP Train ghost, and then every sinner's individual meeting with them. It took me a while to get to this request because I was unsure about how to tackle it to begin with. Thank you for your patience!

As the meeting goes on, the head of the group, or rather the one relaying information to them, finally approaches the main topic at hand.

"It goes without saying that this matter should not be spoken of outside of this group, as it pertains to corporate secrets." Faust begins, "As every employee in this meeting, regardless of ranking, has encountered a strange phenomena within the boundaries of the WARP train, higher management has decided to address this... situation."

The word they gave her was "issue", but as far as she was aware the anomaly had yet to negatively affect any train trips.

"I would not like to assume, knowing that secrecy is of utmost importance here, however, am I correct in suggesting that this has something to do with a certain unexpected passenger?" Yi Sang speaks.

Faust nods and glances around the room. Her other coworkers have varying reactions to the mentioned passenger.

Hong Lu stares off into the distance, lips pressed into a firm, thin line. Don Quixote's usual high energy self is silent and pensive. Meursault shows no signs of emotions other than briefly closing his eyes with a low hum, while Outis crosses her arms and looks away. Ryoshu lits up another cigarette and huffs. Rodion has a slight smile on her lips but her eyes are as cold as ever.

"All of you seem to be on the same page. This saves us time." She nods, "You are to proceed with your work as per usual, and report any encounters with the anomaly to an appointed senior manager."

"Ah, so nothing changed, really." Rodion clicks her tongue. She didn't know what she was expecting.

"Are you sure this event will not cause any..." Hong Lu raises his hand, trying to pose his question.

"I cannot speculate on secrets that pertain to WARP Train functionality." But Faust swiftly cuts him off.

He lowers his hand and nods.

"Comrade Faust," Don Quixote begins, "Can't we do a thing about it...?"

Faust shakes her head. "There is no way to say for certain whether this anomaly is dangerous to passengers of the WARP Train, be them employees or customers. You're to observe but not interfere."

The bright blonde woman seems dejected at that response.

"Listen to those above you, and you may learn a thing or two." Outis scoffs. It seems she had already made up her mind regarding this matter.

Ryoshu clicks her tongue, "Boring."

Faust politely dismisses all of her coworkers. There is nothing else she can tell them, given their contracts, and also nothing else she can reliably say about it. This is something beyond the scope of information he has access to.

From here onward, they all have to handle the passenger as they see fit.

_______________________________

Yi Sang:

He's almost done with his part of the job when the ghost appears. He doesn't startle or react in any way to the sight of it. The passenger sits on a surprisingly clean bench, gazing at him with a longing that's familiar to him. They've met many times like this. He looks around and sees that as per usual, three or four asleep passengers are huddled in a corner. None of his coworkers have made it to this carriage either.

Yi Sang sits by their side, and they sigh.

"This trip is taking a lot longer than advertised, don't you think?" They say. He doesn't respond, merely resigning himself to stare out the window. "That's what the usual passenger thinks when the train departs from the station, did you know?"

He knows it would be better if he didn't interact with them, but cannot help it.

"I am aware." He keeps his thoughts about the corporation's methods to himself.

"It's alright, I think. As long as every passenger reaches their destination and the horrors are erased from their minds..." They stop to ponder for a second.

They sit together in silence. This is one of the many times they've met in the train, and yet Yi Sang can't seem to remember when was the first time. He somehow knows that in spite of his quietude, in spite of trying to keep his thoughts to himself, they seemed to already know every single one of them.

"When... Have we met?" He finally asks.

"A million lifetimes ago." They respond calmly, "Even though you forgot, I cannot let go."

Yi Sang shuts his eyes tight. For some unknown reason, the phrase makes him want to cry. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

"It's okay, because you will keep coming back, and as long as you do, so will I." They reassure him.

He doesn't know if that's for better or for worse.

---------------------------

Meursault:

It's clear that their pristine looking self does not belong in the middle of a train that's otherwise filled to the brim with carnage. This is the anomaly W Corp is trying to understand. They stare at each other briefly, before he makes note of the group of unharmed passengers who sleep on a bench not too far.

When they smile at him, that sad smile he knows too well, he can't help but feel lonely. This must be one of the anomaly's many effects.

"You are a passenger." He is the first one to address the being in front of him.

They nod.

"Your destination is soon approaching." He thinks these words will comfort them, but instead they only make their smile disappear.

"There's no destination for me, as you know." They speak then smile again. A wave of melancholy takes over Meursault's heart.

"There is always a destination for a passenger. As certain as the sun rises and sets, you will go from point A to point B." He insists even though he knows the truth.

"You're always hopeful about it..." They laugh, "It's okay if I'm going nowhere. You're always here with me when I feel the most lonely."

"I'm an employee at W Corp. A cleanup agent will always-"

"Yes, yes, I'm familiar." They wave a hand in the air and dismiss his explanation. "It makes me happy that you're still this predictable."

He raises an eyebrow at them.

"Following a routine has always been soothing for both of us." They clarify.

"Ah."

This voyage will soon end, and the passengers in this carriage are already safe. Soon the unknown passenger will disappear.

Meursault hopes to meet them again.

______________________________

Faust:

There's only so much Faust knows, and yet inside the WARP train, she's as clueless about anything as every other employee. This anomaly, however, seems to know everything she's not privvy to and she's been trying to get it to open up. If only so she can for once have knowledge that belongs to her alone.

"Why do you think you keep coming back?" She asks.

They roll their eyes at her and then shake their head, chuckling a bit.

"You keep asking the same questions... At least you're as curious about me as ever. That's nice. It would be a lot better if you could remember me too..."

"It is impossible for me to remember you if I am not given-"

"Directions? Yes... yes, directions. Both of us would benefit from having them.

Faust frowns.

"What's with the frown? You're not the only one allowed to be cryptic." They laugh and that has Faust genuinely annoyed. She tries not to pout but fails.

"To pursue knowledge is a worthy endeavor, and one I am not ashamed of." She retorts.

"Aren't you scared I might make you just like myself, though? Are you not scared you'll become a ghost too, if you talk to me too much?" Suddenly the mood shifts, and the passenger's expression is taken by concern.

"Faust already expected this question." Faust can finally say with a smug smile, and she relishes on them being the one annoyed now, "It is a risk, as the source of your condition hasn't been uncovered. And yet..."

She pauses and ponders on it for a second longer, staring at the group of passengers that are uncannily still intact even if asleep. The passenger patiently waits for her answer.

"I cannot rest, unless I find out who you are."

The passenger crosses their arms, sadly staring out the window.

"It's not like it will change anything..."

"It will change me." Faust replies confidently. "I want you to change me."

The passenger smiles and shakes their head, but their eyes fill with tears. Their emotions are growing more volatile with each of these encounters, and this is something she notes. If she could ask any of the others, she would, but she knows that's not a possibility.

Could she be running out of time? She couldn't say. The best she could do was to keep returning to this passenger, and hope to find an answer before it became an impossibility.

_______________

Hong Lu:

He's overjoyed to see them still unharmed, along with a group of unscathed passengers. It not only is a sight for sore eyes, it also makes his work much easier.

"You're still here, how nice~" He chirps and strolls over to them, "Ah, I suppose it's not nice for you, is it?"

"Not at all." They reply, but they're smiling and walking over to meet him in the middle of the carriage, "You haven't changed a bit ever since our last meeting."

"I don't think I could change in a a little over a day, haha..."

"You have no idea how much you've changed already... Ever since the first time we..." Their words drift away.

Hong Lu casually kicks at the floor with the tip of his shoe. At least there weren't any corpses to butcher in this wagon. He hated the stench of blood and how it would stick to his hair even after washing it multiple times.

"It's not the first time you say this, and yet you never tell me when we met before. That's a little mean, isn't it?"

They shake their head, "If you don't remember, then why should I tell you?"

"Ah~ so you're hoping I will remember eventually, if only you keep coming back." He wonders if this is the reason this passenger in specific can never leave the train.

He knows very well how it feels to be confined to a role one does not want.

They shrug, "I can't say if you're right or wrong, I guess I'm just here."

He can't help but question himself if the roles aren't reversed here, if they're real and he's the ghost. After all, he always felt like he was simply a passenger inside his own body; never able to choose the destination of his journey and never able to get off the ride.

"I guess we will have to find out, isn't that fun?" He smiles but he feels anger and frustration bubbling inside himself.

Life is such an unfair succession of unfortunate events.

______________________

Ryoshu:

As much as she likes working with W Corp passengers, she has begun to despise her job as a whole. It is repetitive and boring, and most of her time is spent teaching new hires. Being able to enter the train once in a while and unwind is nice, however. That's what the ghost has earned her: a little downtime to herself.

They silently watch as she casually builds a statue of a varied assortment of limbs. She met them a couple carriages away, and since there was no carnage there she walked out of it, only to have them follow.

"I never understood why you do that." They comment as Ryoshu thinks about weaving a bunch of eyes and their nerves together into a crown. "I can see what you're doing, and it could be called revolutionary in the artistic fields but..."

She turns around and glares at them.

"I- I mean, I'm not saying I don't like it!" They frantically wave their hands in front of themself.

"As if I asked your opinion." Ryoshu scoffs. They give her an awkward smile.

"Don't you feel sad you'll have to dismount the statue later? You've assembled the passengers together where your job is to disassemble and separate them..."

"Don't care." she shrugs. "Hm..."

"It's like playing with clay for you, isn't it?"

She grins at them and her eyes glimmer with excitement.

"Did I say something wrong...?"

"You understand." Ryoshu hums and tosses her burnt cigarette to the floor. "Since when?"

"I keep saying we know each other, even if you don't remember, but you never believe me..."

"Hn." Ryoshu turns her back to them.

Normally, in a train full of abominations, one does not turn their back to the other passengers. She knows they are harmless, though. Even if the higher ups want her to report on their appearance in the train, she already made up her mind about refraining from doing so.

First because she does not owe those assholes anything more than what's in the contract, and second because she feels strongly about this passenger. She has yet to figure out if it's in a protective or possessive manner.

____________

Don Quixote:

"After me, helpless civilian! I shall guide thee towards safety!" Don Quixote exclaims.

"They're all dead already..." They try to explain to her for the hundredth time.

"Tis uncertain when the abominations will return! Come!"

They sigh and shake their head, already knowing there's no getting through to her. She's trying to guide them to the exit once more. They know this attempt is fated to failure.

"I told you I can't-"

"Nay! I shan't accept that as the undeniable truth! One day I shall bring you to safe harbor then-"

"Don..." They hold her bloody hand gently, a sad look in their eyes and a slight smile on their lips, "Thank you. You really are my hero."

Don Quixote blushes and freezes in place. She starts vibrating a little, as if about to have one of her usual outbursts of energy. Then, when her vibrating calms down again, she takes in a deep breath.

"Thou compliment is deeply appreciated," She begins to say in a solemn voice tone, "However, I have yet to save thee."

"You're already doing a lot, it's okay." They reassure her.

"Nay! Tis only when thou see the light of dawn again- only when thou art capable of exiting this damned place- only then I will accept being called a hero! This I swear on my honor, verily so!"

They shake their head and sigh. There is really no getting through to her. At least they aren't alone, and she keeps coming back often too.

"Okay... It's a promise then." They know it's an empty promise, but this seems to make her happy.

Working with W. Corp. is thoroughly soul-crushing, she hates it and can't admit that one of the Wings she so dearly admires is in truth a den of lies and injustice. This passenger is the only tether to her wish of becoming a knight of justice, and one of the few good souls who still care about the other passengers.

Don Quixote will gladly keep trying to save them again and again, no matter how many times it takes.

And even if all her attempts are doomed to fail.

_____________________

Outis:

She was already expecting this to be a difficult task. The Wing doesn't want to forfeit any bit of information to them, it's pretty much an impossible task. Perhaps higher management hopes to keep throwing them at the mysterious passenger until it disappears. She wouldn't put it past them.

Still whenever she meets them, she hopes that doesn't come to happen.

"You took a little longer to clean up this time." They say. They're sitting on the train's floor, leaning back on one of the tight-shut doors. Their eyes are closed and they seem to be tired.

Not too far from them is the usual three or four passengers who remain safely asleep.

"A second longer was the price for a job done to completion." She replies and takes a seat by their side, "You're still here."

"It took a little longer than a second, didn't it?" They retort and Outis squints at them.

"You're trying to tease me."

"You've gotten a lot better at picking it up!" They chuckle and she huffs.

"That's rich for someone confined to the space within the WARP Train. You should be trying to gain my favor, so then you could-"

"I'm never getting out of here. You know this."

Outis presses her lips into a thin line, lowering her head and looking at the metallic floor. They always gave her this odd sensation- a feeling that she couldn't explain into a single word. It wasn't longing or loneliness or anything in that spectrum it was... a feeling that she could never return home, or that there was no home to return to. She absolutely loathed it.

"If you have your mind set on failure, then you will not achieve anything."

"Of course you'd say that..." They sigh and rest their head on her shoulder. She doesn't feel it in herself to push them away, rather having the sudden urge to pet their hair. She refrains from doing so.

She wants to know them and what they mean to her, but can never seem to ask about it upfront. Instead they repeat this dance, back and forth trying to figure each other out.

Maybe one day they will return home, and maybe one day, so will Outis.

______________

Rodion:

"Alright, I'm all in!" She says as she pushes a pile of finger bones towards her opponent. "Whatcha say~?"

"Ugh..." They inspect the cards in their hands with a disgruntled look, "Can I still fold?"

"You don't remember the rules of the game? I thought your entire deal was remembering." Rodya laughs as they fumble with their own pile of finger bones and cards.

"I didn't think you'd remember promising to bring a deck of cards!"

"It seems like one of us doens't take gambling very seriously~" She teases them.

"Ah... I'm out anyway, look, my hand is terrible." They show their cards to her and she sees that they got at least two pairs, "Just take everything."

She happily claims the pile of finger bones which are being used as currency here and then reveals her hand. Not a single match worth a thing.

"What?! Not even a pair?! How?!" They throw their hands into the air, thoroughly infuriated with her bluff.

"You played well, but you weren't really playing." She grins wide as she shuffles the cards again, "Rematch?"

"Agh!" They hold their head in their hands. "I- I don't know!"

"C'mon, it's not like you have anything better to do. But then you'll have to find your own finger bones to bet, I'm not giving them back." They aren't worth a single thing and will be returned to their owners when her shift is over, but having them alone giver her a sense of power.

"I don't have a weapon like yours, you expect me to go disassembling hands and feet from the corpses?"

"What? I thought you were bored of being here all alone. At least now you'll have something to do with your time."

"Of all people to be stuck with..." They sigh.

Her assumption that smuggling a deck of cards within her uniform would give her something was right. People always reveal themselves when there's something on the line. This was all meaningless to Rodion, of course, she was just glad she could have a break from her exhausting work.

She watches them dig around corpses a small distance away from her. She'd met them in another carriage, one that was clear of blood and whose passengers remained safely in one piece.

"Oh yeah, where was your destination again, by the way? I mean, were you going home as everybody el-"

"You already know this..."

It was a long shot, and she missed it by far.

"Ah, right. After all we are good friends from way back and everything~"

They turn their head to squint at her.

"Somehow you're still terrible at lying outside of gambling."

"Don't be so mean out of the blue." She huffs, "Maybe you were just so bad at cards that I ended up forgetting."

She means it as a light jab, but their expression turns into one of agony and extreme sadness.

"Don't say that..." Their eyes well up with tears.

"Ah- I meant it as a joke. I didn't- I didn't really mean it..." She isn't used to apologizing like this, but the moment she saw how much they were hurt, she felt the instinct to comfort them immediately.

"It's not a big deal..." Their lie is as clear to her as a diamond.

That's one of the things she hates about them. No matter how many times she finds them, she cannot remember. No matter how much she wants to completely forget, to abandon them and to do whatever with her life, she keeps coming back to them. No matter what, she still has these painful emotions swirling inside of her that she can't even trace back to an origin. She resents the fact she can't resent them either.

"Okay, I'll lend you a few of my chips." She concedes, "Come here, let's have a rematch."

[avkizi]

my mha/bnha dr intro ⋆.˚

hey guys!! this is just kinda my intro for my mha/bnha dr, just so y'all can get a feel for me (WARNING I am a certified yapper and this will be a long ass post bc Im gonna TALK also some translations may be wrong bc despite me literally being Japanese I was born in the USA 🦅🇺🇸 so I am using a combination of google translate and a Japanese baby name meaning site anyway bye) ♡︎

basics

first name: Akitsu (亜希津), goes by Aki (亜希) last name: Takami (高み) birthday: 06/04 (15) pronouns: she/her occupation: UA first year, class 1-A ethnicity: japanese

appereance

hair color: brown & white hair type & length: 2a, medium length eye color: gold (but my pupils & irises are enlarged kinda like a cat or an owl so you really only see those) skin tone: medium/lighter tan height: 5'0 body type: hourglass, lean & sleeper build notable features: tufts of feathers around ears and two on head (think great horned owls), owl wings, small scar across nose bridge and burn scarring on right shoulder, upper arm, back, and mid-thigh.

hobbies + skills + talents <3

drawing & painting pole dancing (the workout kind NOT stripping I am a minor 😭) contortion, acrobatics, & gymnastics volleyball makeup singing crocheting & sewing vlogging & social media fashion & thrifting & shopping (I'm just a girl frfr)

quirk

quirk name: owl a lil self explanatory but basically I can do anything an owl can, my quirk gives me owl wings, talons, enhanced hearing, sight, & night vision, vocal range, etc. quirk type: mutant strengths: already kinda explained but wings, advanced flexibility, speed & stealth, enhanced senses. drawbacks: -since my wings etc are part of my body permanently, they work like a muscle, so I can't fly for too long without getting tired (like walking or running). -to be able to fly, I have hollow bones, which are a lot easier to break, and have to stay on the lighter side, which means I have an incredibly hard time building bulk & muscle mass -i am affected a lot more by loud sounds & overwhelming stimuli bc of my advanced senses -i have to eat raw meat & eggs as well as normal/human food, and I will get sick/malnourished if i'm not able to -i get seasonal molts & shedding, leaving me unable to fly and function much for about a week during that time

random shit/trivia (help girl idk)

-favorite color is pink -has to take medication to maintain normal sleep schedule -kinda obvious by the name, but she's hawks' (keigo takami's) younger sister -cuts wing holes into all her tops w scissors -loves marine bio, hates swimming/getting wet

thats it ig lmk is y'all want more, please please ask me questions about my dr or ab mha in general i love yappin dude

im prolly gonna post a kanji/name meaning analysis bc I gotta talk about that I put sm into it help !!

[typical-simplelove]

Can't Break Up Now (B. Shelton)

Summary: In the little moments of life, you realize that Ben truly is your forever person.

Author's Note: Hi, here's the first tennis fic that I finally feel comfortable sharing with the world :). I hope you like this one, and let me know what you think!

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: None that I can think of!

“Good morning,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around Ben’s waist as he’s stirring a mug at the kitchen counter. It was a slow Sunday morning—your day off from work and school and Ben’s rest day. Going to bed late the previous night from watching movies, you had rolled out of bed around 10:30, itching for caffeine to enter your bloodstream. 

“Morning,” Ben replies, his hand warm from the mug stroking against yours. “Coffee?”

“Mhm, obviously.”

A small chuckle leaves Ben’s throat, and you feel it in his back from where your head rests. “Here you go,” he tells you, placing a mug in your hand. 

“Hmm?”

In a smooth motion, Ben takes the mug out of your hand and slowly turns in your embrace, so his front is facing yours. Handing you the mug, he says with a smile, “Coffee, for you.” 

“Thank you,” you answer, your chest filling both with warmth and speculation. You were very particular about how you take your coffee, the color being very specific and tough to match without knowing your exact measurements of milk, sugar, and syrup. 

“Try it; go on,” Ben pushes, a cocky smirk on his face. 

“Your bedhead curls are cute,” you say in an attempt to change the subject and push the coffee into Ben’s hands. One of your hands gently brushes his curls up his face, opening up his eyes and forehead to your view. 

“Sure, but try the coffee.” 

“You know how particular I am about my coffee. I don’t want to offend you in case you got it wrong.” 

“But I didn’t.” Oh, he’s smug now. “Look at it; it’s the perfect color that you like.” 

“Okay,” you relent after a fifteen-second-long staring contest. You’re not sure why you keep engaging in those with him. With one look into your eyes and a grin, Ben can get you to do anything. You glance down at the mug and notice that it’s pretty close to the color you make your coffee. “Why don’t you just drink it?” 

“You and I both know that this is nowhere near how I drink my coffee.” 

“Ben.” 

“Babe.” 

“Fine.” You finally take a sip and feel Ben’s hands wrap around your back, his thumb stroking small soothing circles. 

“Not too bad, yeah?”

“Very good. Actually, pretty close to perfect.” 

“Perfect? Does this mean I get to make your coffee for you every day, now?” Ben gloats. 

You roll your eyes. “Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. Who knows, maybe this is just a lucky, first attempt.”

“Oh no, it’s definitely not.” He reaches for his phone over on the counter, opens up the notes app, and turns his screen to show you a list. For almost two months, Ben documented the way you made your coffee with funny little quips. “I think it’s safe to say I’m an expert at your coffee.” 

“I guess so,” you reply, taking another sip. 

With a smile, Ben kisses you on your forehead before leaving you for coffee as he starts making breakfast. 

He really did know the way you take your coffee. That’s a love language, right? 

. . .

For you, pajamas were something sacred. They were something that you put a lot of care and effort into. Sleep was one of the most important parts of living life, and something you needed to function properly the next day, so of course, you were going to put immense effort into the clothes you were going to wear to bed. 

One night after taking a shower, wrapped in a towel, you were looking at the drawer that you designated for pajamas and couldn’t help but notice how much of it was Ben’s t-shirts. Some of the shirts were starchy and uncomfortable, but you know that if you had to pick between one of those more uncomfortable shirts or one of your favorites, you were picking the starchy shirt (most of the time). Maybe it was because it smelled like his detergent, and you knew he had worn it once in his life. Maybe it was the way it made him smile whenever you wore one of his shirts. Maybe it was the way you felt safe and comfortable in one of his shirts. Maybe it was just Ben. 

With a small smile and a comfortable warmth spreading across your body, you pick one of Ben’s t-shirts and put it on before finishing your nightcare routine and joining Ben to lounge on the couch. 

“One of my shirts,” he murmurs. You feel the movement of his lips against your neck. 

Once you join Ben on the couch, he wraps an arm around your shoulder before he bends down and places a kiss on the side of your neck. You can feel the big smile that’s on his face as his face meets the skin of your neck. 

“Yeah,” you whisper, too engulfed in his touch to say anything more or throw a quip his way. 

“I like it,” he replies, not against your skin. He’s sat back up now, so he’s looking at you as he talks. 

“I’ve worn your shirts before,” you comment, lifting an eyebrow, needding to give him a tough time for his comment now that you’ve regained your composure. 

“Doesn’t make a difference. Still makes my heart rattle to see you wearing my clothes.” 

Well, you didn’t have anything to say to that. 

A few weeks later, you’re minding your business as you walk into your shared bedroom to find something. You stop in your tracks and forget the purpose of walking into your room as you watch Ben putting his laundry away. 

The dresser that you and Ben share is large, with eight drawers. Four on one side for you and four for him. For the most part, the two sides don’t intermingle, and you both keep your clothes separate. However, the drawer that you keep your pajamas in is open, and Ben is placing his shirts into it. 

Typically, if you’re wearing one of his shirts, you’ll wash it and place it back in his drawers. The shirts of his that you’ve worn over the past few weeks are back on his side of the drawer, but Ben, who’s just done laundry, is placing more shirts into your drawer. 

“What’re you doing?” you ask, careful not to startle him. 

“Putting laundry away,” he replies, not glancing up from the task at hand. 

“But that’s my side.” 

“But they’re your shirts,” he says without hesitation. 

“Mmm, I don’t think so. They’re definitely your shirts.” 

Ben finally looks up at you, and from the look he’s giving you, you can tell his cheeks have gone warm as you’ve caught him in the act of stowing shirts in your drawers. “They look better on you,” he murmurs, barely audible for you to hear. You heard him loud and clear, but you like messing with Ben, making him more bashful with each word and comment, so you ask him to repeat himself. 

“They look better on you,” he repeats, barely looking at you. 

You smirk, walking over to Ben. You take his face in your hands and pull him close to you gently. With a small peck, you say, against his lips, “Thank you. I’ll take your shirts whenever.”

“It makes me happy when you wear them,” he is quick to say, his lips brushing against yours. “I have a folder in my camera roll of pictures of you in them. That sounds stalker-ish, but I promise it’s because I like seeing you in my shirts.” 

Chuckling, you give him another peck. “A little stalker-ish, but I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” he murmurs, pulling you close against his body. 

Ben starts where you end, and if the ship’s ever going down, you’re going to hold on until you can fix it. 

. . . 

Ben and his team were out of town for the weekend, going on a small retreat before one of the upcoming tournaments. It was one of the more important tournaments, so the team thought getting some time away from the noise and pressures of the city would help Ben’s game. So, that meant the apartment was empty except for you. You were able to play your music as loud as you wanted (but truly, though, Ben wouldn’t have minded if you played your music loudly, even if it wasn’t his preferred taste in music). You can cook whatever you want, and lounge around the couch however you want. Honestly, you could do whatever you wanted around the apartment, and Ben would take it in stride with a smile and a small shake of his head. 

It was 9:30 on Friday night, hours after Ben headed out of town, and you were already in bed, lounging among the blankets and pillows, a movie playing on your computer. It had been a long week, so all you wanted to do was relax and unwind. 

By the time the movie had ended, you turned off your computer and placed it on your nightstand as you went to the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed. 

Once you got back into bed, you checked your phone once more and saw that you had a text from Ben. He sent a picture of himself, lying shirtless in his hotel bed, captioned Good night. With a small chuckle, you saved the photo of him and sent your own with a Good night. Turning on “do not disturb,” you put your phone down on your nightstand and turned off the lights, ready for bed. 

Within a few minutes, you’re in a comfortable position. With Ben out of town, his side of the bed is empty, but you drag his pillow close to you. Breathing in, you smell Ben’s shampoo and conditioner on his pillow, and the scent of his aftershave and cologne are lingering. 

You didn’t think you would miss him as much as you do at this moment, but you do. Smelling him on his pillow is enough to bring a few tears to your eyes. With a quick swipe at your eyes, you place Ben’s pillow back in its spot and try to fall asleep. 

There’s only one thought that runs through your mind as you try to fall asleep. 

Ben has managed to insert himself into every little part of your life and into the little nooks and crannies that you keep close to yourself. If he can do that and make you feel so loved, that must mean he’s your forever person, right? 

Well, you can’t break up now. You both love too hard.  

Living life with Ben seems pretty nice. 

[songofwizardry]

update: i have tried three (3) different emulators. this is how it went:

emulator 1: couldn't use the newest version (laptop is too old, just wouldn't load), went digging for an older version, older version 1 runs an android too old for the app i need anyway and 2 doesn't support different instances for a newer android version on mac

emulator 2: claims it runs android 9... except it does not, on mac, and there is no way to determine this until you launch the damn thing, try and download your app, and then realise it won't work

emulator 3: ok saying i tried this is an exaggeration. started downloading it, got really tired at this waste of time, and just deleted all the app files from my computer.

anyway several hours of this later my verdict is: this did not work and it's bedtime. they should start actively advertising 'THIS PRODUCT DOES NOT REQUIRE A SMARTPHONE OR INTERNET CONNECTION TO TELL YOU A VERY BASIC PIECE OF INFORMATION' bc i will just start buying those out of sheer relief

i miss backwards compatibility so much.

a larger-than-you'd-expect part of my life is spent discovering that i can't access a website/product/feature/what have you because 1 it requires a smartphone app, 2 there won't always be an older version of the app you can download, and 3 my phone is old and can't be updated and can't get the newer OS

[inconstantpain42]

I am not really sure how it's started. In July i had a polip removal and they put the mirena coil in me...i was bleeding all the tome and had some mild pain and discomfort. After my dad died i went to Poland to clean the house and to make gastroscopy because here in UK I could not afford it. Second day in Poland got me acute Bronchitis (I guess from the plain aircondition) and I ended up in hospital. It was nightmare, not sleeping, bad food but they got me better and I asked to be released after 5 days, and they did with antibiotic for the next 2 weeks. After that I went to do private endoscopy which gave me another 2 weeks of antibiotics. I didn't take it well and when I came back to UK doctor switched to different.5 weeks of antibiotics..in hospital they have checked my coil and they said its too deep so they repositioned it but it didnt help with pain or bleeding..A week after I came back I hurted my back by pushing on my own the huge chair upstairs which I bought for my daughter.

I dont know why I did this but the back pain was so severe I thought i will die....I got diazepam for few days on A&E and went to toilet and I think I strained myself to much with suppositories becasue the pain in my back worsen....and it's been already 2 months exactly 2 months like this...Pain from my back progressed to my low stomach and I lost function of bladder. I had catherer for 1month and the bladder is working but I don't feel when it's full, need to press with my hand on it to feel sharp pain than I know its time to go wee....I have a pain in my tail bone as well going to my annus and horrible pain of my vagina. My theory is it's a pelvic prolapse but the doctors don't want to check it. I had emergency clil removal and, believe me or not it will sort my problems. But it didnt.They done, here in Uk MRI scan and checked my kidney with cr scan, when I was in hospital for the kidney stones, and said they can't see problem. I have some bulges in my l4l5 and s1 but they said there is no nerve compression....I do believe I have prolapsed cervix or intestine cos after going to toilet the pain of my pelvic and back and annus it's unbearable...Painkillers not working. I forgot to say that since they catheterised me I had been having UTI 5 times (in 2 months) and some problems with my vagina after coil removed. All the time infections, trush etc. The worst part is that I started to horrible muscle cramps in my both toes, but right is much worse and I am loosing the feeling in my toes. Hard to walk...Maybe you ask yourself now if I am mental, believe me anyone would get depression and anxiety of they would be me. I never had any problems like that and I am not sure what is the cause and what is solution. Of there is any solution....? Today is really bad day. I barely slept, I strained the muscles on the toilet going 4 times today and no my back, anus and pelvic is killing me. I tried to have a sex twice, after organising o have such a horrible pain in my pelvic i can't stand it...not like is better without sex but after sex is maximum and it's hard to come. I have ruined my life I don't know which of the parts contributed but my life is over for sure. I didn't go to work for already 2 months I lost 10 kilos I weight now same as my 10 years old..My partner its not like my partner no more, noone cares about me, noone talks to me. I pushed away all of my friends becasue I am daily in so much pain I dont want to talk to anyone....Gabriel doesn't even care, he doesnt even ask how I am...neither my 10 years old. She is autistic but mild autism, so she should be more engaged right? I have enough of this pain and have w enough of myself....I am not sure how much longer I can stand this pain....I am exhausted from not sleeping...crying everyday. Someone's give me hope....please cos I have no hope. My hope it's gone. I dont know whats wrong with me. Why I am getting worse? I want to be back on my feet and be good mum again and back to work and be a better partner so maybe my partner will be better for me as well...I regret everything. I just want the pain to be gone..... Is it only in my head? I DONT THINK SO..

#pelvic

[harlequinoccult]

hey there, this isn't rlly an ask as it is a ramble so uuh feel free to ignore it!

i usually play IFs by picking an oc of mine and deciding to put them into Situations. i have like 3 ocs that basically were born by me constantly playing IFs a certain way. the reason im saying this is bc while stalking browsing your tumblr, i realized smth i found quite amusing, which is that OD has a very similar backstory/traumas to one of my ocs, except both of them ended up w pretty much opposite personalities-

im gonna call my oc by his alias to make things fair, so Vulpine it is (he has a whole thing w foxes its not important). Vulpine also usually grows up without parents or any family really, basically raises himself as a street rat, has one HELL of a teenagehood, gets arrested at LEAST once, basically becomes an alcoholic from ages 14-20, has religious trauma that makes him question his worldview and changes his beliefs completely, is an aggressively stubborn motherfucker... but as he grows up he kind of "mellows out", in a way.

in slsq terms, ig his personality would mainly be apathetic with caustic (is that the name for the aggressive personality type?) tendencies. but mostly he's just sighing and trying to get on with this without dying. he stops drinking and using drugs completely in his adult years, mostly due to his never ending paranoia (he cant defend himself well enough if he's inebriated, and he learned that from experience). becomes much more patient as a person, much more set on his boundaries, and ultimately more of a "functional member of society". he's a bit of a cleaning freak, knows abt 8+ languages just bc he likes studying, is a MASSIVE fucking nerd who would live in university if he could. he probably was working on getting a doctorate or smth when Carter came along and just fucking ruined his life

on the surface, Vulpine and OD have... p much nothing in common. one of them is a stoic bitch with a dry sarcastic humor and a voice so deadpan you can barely tell what emotion he's feeling unless he gets truly angry (which is a surprisingly hard thing to accomplish), and OD is... well. it's OD.

but i do feel like there's some sorta kinship there, past their obvious differences. Vulpine is no stranger to extreme trauma and the habits someone would develop to try and overcome it in some way. he's no stranger to being shackled for most of your life and fighting so hard to get rid of those chains you end up changing yourself almost completely. he wouldn't try to "fix" OD bc he knows that's not how this works, but... he'll try his damn best to at least give them some stability. make sure they eat well every day. make sure they sleep on a proper bed and not just on a mattress on the floor.

the kind of absolute devotion and loyalty Vulpine can develop for someone... i can't wait to pair him up w OD and see what happens, ngl, i think their dynamic would end up being so interesting and change quite a bit the more they know eachother (from being mutually annoyed at eachother's existence to... something else)

i had no one else to ramble abt this, and tbh i could talk abt Vulpine forever so ill cut it out here! thanks for reading this if you do, i am so hooked in this IF already its ridiculous. i hope you're having a good day/night!

Never apologize for rambles!! I LOVE hearing about peoples MCs/OCs!!!

[istherewifiinhell]

grand finale baby okay. (what do u mean their are 80-300 more of these...)

[ID: Optimus looking up to a hole in the ceiling, a beam of light filtering through, rubble around him. He says "That was Megatron's way of letting us know he has come!" END]

badum tssk 🥁🔔

its marvel tf no 4! or 7-8 in uk reckoning, winter of 84, the cartoon is now on air!

okay lets hear it- Writer: Jim Salicrup, Pencils: Frank Springer, Inks: Ian Akin & Brain Garvey, Letters: John Workman Colour: Nelson Yomtov, Editor: Bob Buduansky, EiC: Jim Shooter Digital Re-master by Digikore Studios Limited. Collection Edits by Justin Eisinger and Alonzo Simon. Editorial notes and assistance by Mark. W. Bellomo

it wouldnt be some 80s comics without some pain so lets get hurting

[ID: Caption box: Meanwhile, at a ballet class attended by Buster's girlfriend Jesse… A gratuitous panel of four presumably teen girls in sleeveless leotards looking out the window. Jesse asks "What is it?" One answers "Looks like the Rolands are leaving town! They've packed everything --including the kitchen sink!" Close of three looking out the window, mild expressions of shock on their ingenue faces. The speaker continues "I really can't believe anyone would take this robot business seriously!" Jesse cries a single tear thinking "There's no escape from this Madness!" In the dance locker rooms, Jesse stands in elegant contrapposto of distress thinking "I thought coming here would take my mind off Buster--fora little while, at least. But knowing that he's risking his life to save his father is eating me up inside! Guess I was only fooling myself! I can't stop wondering if I'll ever see Buster again!" Caption Box: While back at the ark… Buster kneels over his father, fingers to his pulse. Optimus, looming in the fore asks "Is your father still functioning?" Buster pleads up at him "My father's not a machine! He's flesh and blood! And if we don't get him to a hospital fast--he'll die!" Ratchet in the back says "Perhaps I can help!" END]

sorry thats as long and as hateful as i ever intend to be here. boy i hate comics tho...

this episode of transformers is brought to you by: jarring cuts!

[ID: A military jeep driving, a human voice inside it says "I'd give anything to get a little sleep, but if you and this truck aren't delivered to the 4067th M.A.S.H unit in time, my goose'll be cooked! This is all your fault, old friend! If you weren't such a hotshot mechanic they wouldn't need you to repair their ambulances.' END]

[anime girl image] MASH REFERENCE 🎊🎉🥳 (yes sparkplug will be having war flashbacks the whole comic. technically. theres a point to it)

[ID: Two EMT's get into the front seats of Ratchet in alt mode. Passenger: This is the only ambulance available, and we need it. Ratchet: What? Driver: Did you hear that squeak? Passenger: We'll get it fixed after we bring back that heart attack victim! As they drive off Ratchet thinks: These men seem to mean well! I'll just keep quiet and help them! After all, it's the least I can do as a doctor-- even if an earthling is my patient--and it's better than waiting! END]

oh by the way ratchet is just parked outside the hospital cause he drove sparky there. what a nice fella. also im not showing any of it but actually the AUTOBOTS are the ones that hurt him... like. accidentally but they werent being.. VERY NICE either. bad vibes all around.

[ID: Various dinosaurs in a cretaceous vista. A character narrates. "In a volcano-ringed valley, inhabited by weird, alien creatures, some even larger than ourselves. The drone found its answer…" A single transformer walks fully over one of the dinosaurs in the clearing. The speaker continues "The cybertronic life form was none other than the Decepticon known as Shockwave!" Editors note: "Long-time marvel readers will recognize this place as the savage land, prehistoric domain of the present-day Ka-zar!" END]

(sees 5 specific kinds of dinosaurs) OH BOY OH BOY. shut the fuck up marvel editor. THATS DINOBOT ISLAND where my friends the DINOBOTS live. jeez... also shockwave bigfooting it up, as tfs are wont to do.

anyway get ready for the meg.op comedy hour

[ID: Ironhide shouting: What are we waiting for? Let's get him! Optimus: No! That's exactly what he wants!-- so he can pick us off easily! Let him come to us! END]

[ID: Caption box: One after another, the Decepticons enter Mount St. Hilary, pushing the attack… Megatron stands in the left fore, his troops in the mid, and Optimus high on distant hill on the right. He calls out: I'm coming for you, Optimus. Our war is nearly ended! He thinks: Too many of my men stand between me and Optimus! My fusion cannon would destroy them as well! Bah! A small price to pay to rid myself of my constant foe forever! END]

normal thinks to say and think megs. wow

[ID: Optimus large in fore, looking same direction the camera is focused. He and the other Autobots shaded in dark purple and black. The Decepticons, in full colour, seekers flying above, and the rest charging down the middle, all firing weapons. Megatron yells "Prepare to be DESTROYED!!!" END]

HEY. THATS NOT HALF BAD. a panel with dynamic composition and values that direct the eye??? I CANT BELIEVE IT. also i just noticed. lets all thank soundwave's head being obscured in this panel. THEY LEFT IN A PURPLEWAVE!!!! he endures... seek him out where the remaster dare not go.

[ID: Megatron firing his fusion canon, shouting "You're mine, Optimus!" Optimus yells in pain, his arm melting, and his gun dropping to the ground. END]

as im always saying...

anyway yeah the autobots win in the end cause sparkplug sabotaged the fuel he made for them, JUST LIKE HE DID WHEN HE WAS A POW IN THE KOREAN WAR... jesus. comic of people who like. have heard how drama is supposed to work, without perhaps. really getting why it works. at least it looked nice...

fucking hell. anyway and then shockwave shows up and tramples the autobots. THE END

[ID: Printed comic. Caption Box: --Into Shockwave! Shockwave stands in full view, light emanating behind him, rubble, and injured Autobot's at his feet. He speaks "After four million earth years I have accomplished my mission-- The Autobots are no more!" END]

(dont he look great in printed purples. mwah)

[ka-zu-li]

Last day in portugal, vacations and family. Today i go back to madrid and count exactly a year since i moved there. I couldn't sleep, my mind was racing w/ too many thoughts/ "problems". I guess i am scared of returning. Not because of the unknown this time but because of the routine, the heavy weight of real life. I wish i knew how to do it without feeling burden. I feel insecure and i feel anxious about the future. I know i'm so easily drained when i have to be functional, when all i can see is repetion and the same chores over and over. I can't find spirituality in it, i sink in negative thinking. I keep having these neverending intrusive thoughts about being cheated on and have to tell myself it makes absolutely no sense. When i'm stressed i behave in a passive agressive in my relationship. All is good, then some insecurity rises and the tiniest thing is now proof something's off, so i go inwards i say nothing's wrong because i don't really know what's wrong. My boyfriend not messaging me for 5 hours shouldn't be something that triggers this reaction... When i was with my friends it was confusing as well. i wanted this space of familiarity but then i felt estranged, i wanted connection, maybe because i'm far i idealise what i had when i lived here. And also this expectation that when i come it will be like the best moments (in just a few hours). My parents are taking me to the train station, i know it's difficult for them, there's always some guilt in being absent from their lives especially when they're getting older. I keep trying to find the spot between doing things with them and talking before i leave and being comfortable and silent, but i think i end up doing neither and just worrying. I don't think i was very present during these days... i kept hoping "when i'm there..." and when i'm finally in that place - in the comfort of my family's house, in my boyfriend's embrace, alone in nature i'm never fully there, i'm not doing it the right way, it's not enough it's not enough.

[cheemken]

So, let’s just say the Pokemon champions had to live all together, what type of roommate would they be? I’m curious and I need inspiration for a fic. I can’t for the life of me think. My brain isn’t braining.

Man it has been a while since I last posted pkmn stuff chkxdn hahah

But anyways let's see

Lance - I think,, I think he'd be the type to wake up early, and by early I mean no fail he wakes up around 4:30am, Lance would start training and his dragons are noisy. I wanna say the first time they all lived together, Diantha woke up w Lance bc why is her man up at this godforsaken hour and it ruined her mood for the entire day girl missed her beauty sleep lmfaooo

Steven - expect stones and pebbles and rocks everywhere. He'd find a rock that reminds him of one of the champions and he'd bring it home w him and he'd give it to them and ofc as weird as Steven was they can't decline bc hey, it's smth he loved y'know, but also I know Cynthia and Wallace would love collecting those rocks and pebbles

Wallace - the first time he woke up to Lance training at four in the morning, he and Diantha ruined everyone's day w their mood. If this man doesn't get his full eight hours of sleep he's gonna make it everyone's problem. Coffee would not solve anything, but spending the day w Steven might lmfao

Cynthia - if anyone sees random books and papers or anything piled or cluttered around a certain area of their shared home, they would know Cynthia has been there. Girl does not clean up after herself bc she's so busy, her mind is always racing, she gives Hamilton vibes in a way she could write 51 essays in one go and she would enjoy every second of it. They don't even wanna talk abt Cynthia's room

Iris - sleeps through all of her alarms, the only thing that could wake her up is if Hau just jumps on her and tell her everyone's been waiting for almost an hour for her to go down to breakfast w them. Once said she wants to train w Lance early in the morning, did not at all join him bc Lance couldn't even wake her up she kept insisting "ugh.. five more minutes" she said that about ten times now Lance just gave up

Diantha - no matter how sour her mood will be, someone's gotta wake her up 6am sharp. Too many appointments and meetings and sets that she gotta start her day early, but not too early as in Lance and Geeta early. Would not be functional without coffee or sweets in the morning, one time she only ate like,, cake for breakfast and she was good to go

Hau - actually a pretty decent roommate, until someone eats his leftovers. Look, look, he's been influenced enough by the champions, Wallace and Diantha would be so damn proud at how petty this boy is when someone eats his leftovers. He has not forgiven Iris for eating his leftover food one time and he refuses to let her live it down

Leon - also sleeps through all his alarms lmfao, if he could he'd just stay in bed the whole day cause he hasn't been so relaxed in such a long while. He's the one who always cooks breakfast tho, I think, like of all the champions he and Lance give off the vibes that they're the only ones who could cook well enough that they won't burn the food

Geeta - also someone who wakes up so early, if Lance wakes up at 4:30, Geeta wakes up around 5:00. Isn't allowed in the kitchen tho so she doesn't cook breakfast before everyone wakes up bc she also almost burned the house down. Takes care of all the lil pokemon that hides in her hair so they have this lil sanctuary of sorts in their backyard, Geeta insisted they could train them and maybe hand them as starter Pokemon to young trainers

[vivianleighwishesshewasme]

Arthur's Sacrifice

Cat and Mouse games

__________________________________________________________

To say she was nervous would be a gross understatement. She tried getting out of her room last night. She swore she heard gunshots. Her door was locked. She banged for hours until her Uncle tommy roared through the other side to shut the fuck up and go to sleep.

She thought of breaking a window, picking the lock, and she tried. Nothing. She had to wait it out and hope he was in a better mood. She also wanted to find out what happened to her “friends” from the kitchen. She knew, God she knew. She prayed all night and cried.

Why or why had her mother told her about these people? Hadn't she known anything?! Did she ever keep tabs before she shattered her daughter's life so drastically with her version of the truth. Filomena laughed darkly. Whatever her version had been. Why did she have to confess anything and change everyone's lives? Ignorance was bliss. 

Food appeared in her room daily. She refused to eat or drink. She could hear them slip in and out. She stayed in the same spot unless she had to use the restroom or bathe. She refused to function. 

She'd been surprised on the third day when she’d been invited down to lunch with aunt Polly. A letter had been placed beside her on the table. She hadn’t recognized the boy. He wasn’t dressed as a member of the staff. He was tall, muscular and smiled sweetly at her. His dark hair and eyes make him seem like Tommy and Arthur's side. A gypsy. 

She rolled over refusing to acknowledge him. She’d have felt bad about it under normal circumstances but she didn’t. If he were aligned with her uncle Tommy, she had no use to be nice to him as of now. 

“Your Aunt sent me, asked me to see if you’d come down to lunch with her, outside?” I flicked my eyes to the side, my back still turned. That was new. The only way I was getting out of here was to either die, I wasn’t willing to take myself out I had decided last night. Or, I had to have an ally. While I knew she wasn’t going to be it, perhaps walking outside I could find someone willing to help me over time. 

“Give me an hour please. I’ll wait here until the door opens.” The boy seemed pleased with my answer. He had a boyish charm but he was a man probably around my age. 

My mind wandered to Luca. Was he okay, did he use me, did I care anymore? I wasn’t even sure I cared anymore. I wasn’t going to run away like my mother and find another man without breaking it off.

 He’d closed the door and I set out to groom and dress well. I may be starving and angry, but I am going to be in control of myself from now on. 

______________________________________________________________

Their garden was a massive lawn with little growing other than grass. I walked for what seemed like forever to a table and chairs set out overlooking someone else's property. I swear there were two trees back here. 

She stayed sitting as I approached. I sat down and was surprised that the boy man pushed my seat in. I turned and thanked him. One of them was going to have manners, might as well be me I guess.

“Thank you Bonnie.” Polly smiled at him and tapped her cigarette on the ashtray in front of her. 

We sat in silence for what felt like eternity. No food in sight might I add. 

“You can't outstubborn Thomas Shelby love, I’ve tried.”  I snorted. Clearly she didn’t know any Italians. She seemed taken aback by my attitude. I was done playing nice. 

“I'm Italian, I can drag my hate and malice all the way with me to my grave. I can take Thomas fucking Shelby.” I meant  what I said. No false bravado. 

“You're also part Shelby with that attitude.” Polly flashed me a brilliant smile for the first time. I wasn’t sure yet if I could trust her. Probably not. Thomas seemed to think highly of her. 

“He's under immense stress right now with the other Italians because of this Vendetta.” Polly was honestly being patient and trying to help me understand. Problem was I didn’t care anymore. The one who should be apologizing is Tommy, not her. No honor, no trust to be given or forgiven. 

“He creates his own problem and then blames others for his stress. I can’t speak to any Vendetta. I knew nothing of it. But he seemed to be making silly little mistakes, yelling, pushing people away, he didn’t trust himself so he didn’t trust others.” I could see that, why couldn’t they? Or was love blind and they hoped for change? 

“I like you. “ she sat back grinning at me. Her eyes flicked up. I could smell the food before I saw it. 

Steamed veggies, rice and meat. I was starving. 

I couldn’t say anything to her back. I had to use every bit of restraint I had to keep from gobbling down my food. After all, it could be laced with something. I hated thinking like that but….

“I’m sorry you got tossed into all this. These men and their stupid cocks..I swear.” I smiled. I hadn’t meant to. I couldn’t disagree. 

“Uncle John and Tommy seem like the most unreasonable yet carry quite a bit of power.” I regretted it as soon as it came out. It would be easy for her to go back and tell him what I said. It was done now though. She put her drink down gently and tried reaching for my hand. I pulled it back. No human contact.  I felt too dead inside for even this conversation. 

“You can't judge us all by John. I don’t know why his….he has an issue with Italains. It's like your father and the chinese. Very little to zero sense.”  That caught my attention. That might be a connection for me if I needed to get out. I wouldn’t be a Shelby, just an Italian. They might help me. I just had to figure out where I could find those people. 

“I'm not judging you all by John and his whore, I'm judging you all by Tommy and his nonsensical reasons to wage war that didn’t need to start in the first place.” She laughed and shook her head. 

“I met your mother a few times my dear. She was a light- hearted girl who blew away with the wind. You may not like it but you are all Shelby. That might be to you and your fiancé's advantage.” She took a long drink so I couldn’t ask her a question. I wanted to know how she thought my Fiancé was. Something was brewing and I stupidly walked right back into it.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

Fever Whump Bingo: Tepid Bath for Robin! you can combine it with others if you want >:)

ohoho I'm going to combine it with "glassy eyes" for something vaguely adjacent to some actual canon plans!

Dany's hands don't shake. She's not a freaking coward. The hotel is too quiet when she steps back inside, having set herself at ease with a quick loop around the exterior. There are several exits and no one around. She slings the rifle off her shoulder as she walks back into the room, leans it in the corner next to the door. Her pistol will stay on, anyway.

Robin is sitting on the edge of one of the double beds, hands hanging limp between his legs where his arms are propped on his knees. He's bent over awkwardly, head hanging. His back is to Dany, shoulders rising and falling heavily with labored breaths. She can hear his breathing from the door.

"Outside's clear," Dany reports, pausing for a moment that she's glad Robin doesn't see before bending to untie and take off her boots for the first time in... she doesn't know how long. They haven't slept indoors for days. The conversation is normal enough. That's why she says it, even when Robin doesn't respond. "This room opens outside, but there are general exits on either side of the hall out the other side, and one from the front lobby. The pool is gross, but it's indoor/outdoor, so it could function as an escape route if we needed it."

Dany walks into the bathroom. No lights, obviously, but she blinks at herself in the mirror. Her hair's gotten longer, her face pale since summer — she never tanned, just burned and wound up paler than before. There are circles under her eyes belying her lack of sleep and more fear in the gray than she wants to admit.

Robin isn't doing well. There's a part of her that's afraid to check his fever. If she doesn't know how bad it is, how much he's been pushing through, then they don't have to deal with it. If she doesn't know, it can't be as bad as she fears. Schrodinger's Robin, she thinks suddenly, ridiculously, and snorts quietly. The uptick of her mouth in the mirror looks like it belongs to somebody else. Somebody she was before all this. Before the world ending and meeting Robin and nearly dying and jumping on trains. She turns away from it.

"Robin?"

"Yeah?"

Some of the tension in Dany releases when he finally responds, though his voice is weak and painfully raspy. They'd had to stop several times walking today while he caught his breath, coughing into his elbow until Dany worried he was going to fall over. She steps over to the bed, crouches on front of him.

"You doing okay?" She asks, already knowing the answer.

Robin looks up at her with glassy, vacant eyes. His hair droops over his forehead, damp with sweat. He blinks slowly at her. It doesn't add much more awareness to his gaze. "'M'fine," he whispers. It's a lie that Dany knows all too personally. A moment later he's toppling forward and Dany's catching him, scrambling to support his awkward weight as his strength gives out.

"Clearly," Dany says sharply, snapping out her fear with sarcasm, "You're not." Even his nose, poking into the side of her neck, is hot. She struggles to move onto the bed beside him, cradling his limp form against her. "You're burning up," she says, you know, like a cliché. "You with me at all?"

"D'ny..?" He mumbles, shifting slightly. "I don' feel good..."

"I hadn't noticed." The slurring isn't a good sign. He's barely, barely conscious and raging with fever.

She has, and Dany knows this, antibiotics and fever reducers, tucked safely away in the medical bag she'd dropped on the far side of the other hotel bed. But her fear is, and it's gripping her almost tighter than she's holding Robin right now, is that he's deteriorating too quickly, won't last the time it takes for the dose to enter his system. At least, won't last without permanent damage. She finally understands what Robin must have felt month prior, watching her suffer. Only, he depended on her. She can survive without him. But... can she really, anymore? She doesn't want to think about that.

Water, out here, is most often run off of wells. She'd seen the septic pipes as they came in. If she's lucky, or incredibly blessed, they're far enough off the grid that the pump doesn't require electricity. Where she grew up, most people living off-grid had solar well pumps. Funny, how things have changed with the weather: she prays there's been enough sun.

"Come on," she urges, wrestling Robin into a semi-standing position. "Robin, hey, you gotta help me out here." Robin isn't particularly big, but he's mostly dead weight and unwieldy. She manhandles him into the bathroom, where he collapses onto the lid of the toilet, barely holding himself up.

Dany holds her breath as she twists the lever, thinks pleasepleaseplease too desperately in the silence. She gasps in relief when she hears the rumble of water flowing, when it starts pouring out of the faucet. The heating won't work, and she knows you're technically not supposed to use cold-cold water for this, but it's all she has. It's the best only chance of keeping Robin okay.

She plugs the drain and turns back to Robin, once again kneeling in front of him. This time he doesn't look up at her; it must take too much effort that's being expended on just breathing.

"Neither of us is going to like this, I don't think," Dany mutters. She's basically talking to thin air, and his glassy greenish eyes, but she feels the need to say it anyway. "Sorry."

As quickly as she can with hands that even she has to admit are now shaking, she strips him down to his boxers. Robin doesn't even respond until she tries to maneuver him into the tub. All he does is mumble her name again, which he made hers in the first place, in between ragged breaths.

"Yeah, it's me," she whispers back. "I've got you."

She realizes with a sinking feeling that the only reason she, as strong as she may be but still skinner than she'd been four months ago, is going to get Robin's lanky, limp form into the tub is by getting in there herself. So she says screw it, pulls off her socks and resigns herself to soaking these leggings, and through some feat of willpower or a miracle, manages to get them both into the water.

It isn't freezing cold, isn't even that unpleasant, but Dany likes cold, has a higher tolerance to it, and against Robin's fever-hot skin it must feel like ice. She's positioned behind him, arms around him to keep him still as he writhes in the chilly water. He struggles against her blindly, even as Dany tries to tell him to relax, it's okay, she's trying to help him. When the last vestiges of his strength finally abandon him, he slumps back against her and shudders with a coughing fit.

His head lolls back against her shoulder. Dany shuts her eyes for a moment, prays not for the first time today. She is scared. She doesn't know if she's more afraid of losing Robin, or afraid of the fact that she's afraid of that. She rests a hand on his chest, where she can feel his heartbeat, and forces herself not to think about it. He'll be okay. He has to.

[piipaw]

Okay this new ask game's a bit crazy but here we go:

Mistle toe 3 and 4

Ivy 1 and 3

Holly 3,5 and 4

Fir 3

I think I got it!

Do other people experience your OC as having a “peaceful” energy? Or are they inclined to restlessness - or even fractiousness?  Do others find them relaxing company?

Pre game and into act 2 Gum is very restless. He's been plucked from all he's ever known into what's simultaneously his biggest nightmare (threat of turning illithid) and what's also a new beginning. I think by time he reaches baldurs gate in act 3 he's a lot more calm, a lot more comfortable with himself. At that point he's more relaxing company but early on he's anxious, he doesn't know how to regulate his face and emotions, he can speak common but the cultural difference and high tensions don't help.

To what extent does your OC believe in the perfectibility of mankind?  Do they believe that they are playing a part, no matter how small, in ushering in a new utopian age of co-operation and peace?  Or do they consider that people are intrinsically flawed and that the best that can be hoped for is a series of trade-offs between conflicting values?

Gum is unable to function without feeling as if he's servicing some higher power. So at first it's Vlaakith and then Mystra. Interacting with Gale and learning about his connection with Mystra does give him a moment of weakness- another moment where he doubts his faith, and he really struggles with what it would mean to find another higher power to serve.

I don't think Gum sees it as like he himself is powerful, even after doing everything with the elder brain. As much as he works to try to improve relations between himself, his new found friends/family, and his community- I don't think he considers the bigger picture of like all life as a whole.

Has your OC ever been unfaithful in a relationship?  Could they ever be tempted by the physical charms of another?  Or have they ever been surprised by how little they are tempted by others, at least once they embraced their current lover?

So pre game when he was still faithful to Vlaakith I think Gum could be considered like promiscuous by human standards. But none of it was with strings. Just consensual moments with his crèche mates. Act 1 he does sleep with both Lae'zel and Astarion simultaneously- but neither of them indicate at the time of initiation that he's in a relationship with either of them. He cares for them differently, and feels as if he can't say no to them.

So once he does confirm what he feels for Gale is the real deal and learns it's mutual he's immediate to cut things off with the two of them. Lae'zel seemed bummed but got over it fast, and Astarion seemed really cool about just being friends.

But after that no, he's never once considered anyone else besides Gale. The only exception would be that post game Astarion kind of gets involved again but it's open and everyone mutually agrees to it.

I don't think Gum ever anticipated being in a long term monogamous relationship but that's not to say he doesn't enjoy it. He's just baffled at the human customs of marriage and stuff.

Anyways everyone at camp act 1 into 2 was so sick of watching Gum and Gale process everything and fumble around. Taking bets on them even.

Has another person ever offered to leave their spouse or lover for your OC?  What was it about them that this person found so hard to resist? How did they feel about it at the time? 

I guess you could suggest that's what Gale does to a player Tav, since like he easily could go back to Mystra if he really tried, but canonically for my file Gale returns the crown and just stays happily married to his Githyanki spouse.

For Gale I just think having a partner in the material plane is a refreshing thing for him. Like idk everyone's got their own interpretations for how he views and got involved w Mystra, but she's got a power imbalance over him and occupied a long part of his life, so I imagine he never really had time for anything serious on the material plane before or after her.

Has your OC ever taken on a burden or suffered harm to protect another from suffering its consequences?  Did the person in question realise that they had done so?  What was their motivation when doing this?

Oh yeah Gum does this a lot but my favorite example would be!!! Okay so we did not bring Lae'zel to the crèche bc Gum heads her going off about the zaithisk and having ran one at his old crèche, he did Not Want her going near this one. So his plan was simple: go in w the group acting as the others were his 'servants' and briefly seperate to disable the zaithisk when nobody is looking. Ezpz until the gang won't let him sneak off and he gets immediately put in the chair himself.

Like knowing how it works and that the machine isn't made to "purify" but essentially fry your brain so useless you either die or become complacent without enough mental capacity to turn illithid, he basically just accepts the fate that like. Well. It's just irony- I've had to kill others with this exact same device I guess it's only fair I get a turn too.

He was fully willing to die in that chair if it meant the others could run and it would keep Lae'zel away.

Does your OC believe that they were historically let down by those who should have protected them?  If so then what has been the impact of this upon them?  If not then have they always been kept safe by others?  Has anyone ever sacrificed themselves to protect them?

Yes! So it's not going to be the same in the traditional human sense of ppl who should have protected them. But I think like the 'failure' of his crèche superiors (be it the gustil, sarth or kith'rak) allowed for his rival to pass with no intervention was arguably Gum's biggest turning ooinr. It lead to his lack of faith n in Vlaakith, it led to him changing his class, ect.

Without that initial disappointment, Gum wouldn't have changed. But!! I would say that while he doesn't have anyone who has sacrificed themselves for him, nor does he really have anyone protecting him (I mean tadpole gang watches each others backs but) it's more the reverse where he's self sacrificing and wants to protect the others.

What does your OC believe to be the luckiest event in their life?  Is this an accurate assessment?  Or was there actually more than simply luck at play?

Luckiest event for Gum factually and like emotionally is the day he gets captured upon the nautaloid. Like at the time it's his worst nightmare come true, but like once he's off and at camp and protected from turning it's very clear to him that without this he'd never had left his crèche alive.

Would your OC ever fight for a lost cause on principle?  Or would they give up – or even change allegiance – in order to ensure the best outcome for themselves?

So I think this is very circumstantial to like what the example is.

Because becoming a cleric of Mystra could be seen as a change of allegiance.

The choice of Orpheus Vs Emperor could be seen as Changing sides for a better outcome VS. fighting a lost cause on principle.

I think gum has a healthy amount of knowing when to be stubborn and push, and knowing when to accept new information and strategically switch sides.