#but i can't even go for a walk

[zouffle]

not to be a downer but it's kind of devastating being young and wanting to move and run and play but not being able to because your body physically can't handle anything more strenuous than like. walking up the stairs

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Tis but a flesh wound!

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[chalkrub]

art trade w/ thrak800 on twit - love this fella !

[greywoe]

Brienne said, "I remember a woman... she came from some place across the narrow sea. I could not even say what language she sang in, but her voice was as lovely as she was. She had eyes the color of plums and her waist was so tiny my father could put his hands around it. His hands were almost as big as mine." She closed her long, thick fingers, as if to hide them. "Did you sing for your father?" Catelyn asked. Brienne shook her head, staring down at her trencher as if to find some answer in the gravy. "For Lord Renly?" The girl reddened. "Never, I... his fool, he made cruel japes sometimes, and I..." "Some day you must sing for me."

[akajustmerry]

gonna be 100% with you all I don't relate to a lot of adhd content online that's always being cute about special interests and having lots of hobbies and whatever!!!! and I get that it's destigmatised some elements of the disorder but I can't relate because the kind of adhd I have is the kind where i frequently I have days where I Can't Do Anything, where I sit for hours not even scrolling or anything just...sitting or lying for hours with my brain on fire with the effort of Trying To Do Things and then the day ends or the week or the month and I've missed deadlines, birthdays, job opportunities and so there's a constant hum of shame and embarrassment that has very much made me suicidal. For a long time I thought I couldn't have adhd because the predominant image of adhd is someone who's hyperactive but uhhhhhhh that really is not the case for everyone lol. and now I'm kinda mad at how much adhd content is just like, "omg yeah I'm always on the go it's the adhd 😜" or "haha watching my special interest show to do dishes cos I'm adhd 😜" cool. great. good for you, but I can't relate to that because genuinely most days not being able to do basic tasks in my life has fucked up my life and makes me want to kill myself.

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

[a-most-beloved-fool]

so... TOS characters were probably famous enough to have little kitschy souvenirs and such made of them & sold in starbases, yeah? novelty candies and the like?

because i'm imagining a crack-fic where spock (pining or feeling heartbroken) gets ahold of kirk-shaped chocolates and gets Very Drunk And Sad by eating them.

[minecraftian1213]

Baby Obi-Wan once stared so hard into the Force that he was never the same. Ever since he joined the creche the Masters knew there was something... off about the little one. They weren't quite sure what to think of the littlest of the younglings. He always seemed to know things he shouldn't and offered words that often intimidated padawans, knights, and even gained concerned expressions from seasoned masters.

The guards in the temple were less amused when he learned to properly shield himself. Gifted in the art of shielding, Obi-Wan tended to wander from his creche. Normally, a wandering youngling wouldn't be a problem. Where one youngling lingered, a sentinel was hiding in the shadows not too far away. Obi-Wan Kenobi, however, finds the right moment to slip away.

When questioned what he is doing so far from his creche, Obi-Wan always answers, "Force says so."

Qui-Gon keeps stumbling upon a small ginger boy when he finds himself alone. The first time was a memorable experience. It is, after all, the first time Qui-Gon met his future apprentice.

"What are you doing?" And the voice makes Qui-Gon pause in his walk. A youngling is staring at him from behind a pillar.

"Thinking," he answers honestly. The boy, probably no older than four or five, steps out and walks up to him, arms held out in demand to be picked up. Qui-Gon obliges and settles him on his hip, changing his destination to the creches. "Why aren't you with your creche?"

"The masters say I should listen to the Force. The Force says I should be here. With you."

Qui-Gon's lips quirk upward. "Is that so, little one? What else does it tell you?"

The youngling tilts his head, blue eyes shining. Qui-Gon feels like he isn't being seen despite the boy's eyes clearly on him. "Nothing you should know yet," the boy says.

Qui-Gon doesn't ask any more questions, too stumped to know what to ask the boy. The boy of course takes Qui-Gon's silence as his cue to talk. He offers his name as Obi-Wan Kenobi and tells him all about his friend Quinlan who sees things when he touches stuff and- "He doesn't see stuff when he holds my hand because my shields are good. Did you know the guards don't like it when I leave? Guard Feemor says I shield too hard."

And doesn't that take Qui-Gon by surprise. "Is that so?" Temple guards wore masks to protect their identities. Qui-Gon wasn't aware his former padawan took rotations as a guard.

Obi-Wan replies easily, "He doesn't know I know."

Qui-Gon quickly returns the youngling to his creche. The second escape and return allows Obi to decide he likes this master. It's the seventh escapade from their first meeting that the guards and creche masters and even passing jedi learn that when Obi-Wan goes missing he's with Qui-Gon.

[turkwriter]

Those five or so seconds where young Ahsoka is watching Anakin walk through the smoke and her expression becomes horrified as he transforms into Darth Vader for just a moment as he and the rest of her Squad leave her behind, alive but alone-

[faislittlewhiteraven]

Been having some ISaT tech level and timeline (as in 'when backstory things happened') thoughts and want to ramble a bit:

Tech

ISaT's setting is based on your classic sword and sorcery fantasy JRPG so its easy to assume that tech wise everything is 'fantasy medieval' and call it a day but consider:

Body Craft is at bare minimum is magic sex changing surgery (earliest known equivent in our world dating to 1930) that any old person can learn to do safely on themselves in only a few months, and more likely has many many broader applications like regular old surgery, the 'combat healing' Mira and Sif use, etc.

Cameras and photos are rare enough that Odile comments on it (namely she's happy the group get a photo in the House due to them being 'so rare') yet are also common enough that everyone in the party knows about them and doesn't question the existence of a camera beyond being surprised that the mirror was one. (In our world cameras date back to the 19th century, with the earliest manufacturing of them being in 1839). 

Printing presses and ways to make plenty of paper to feed those presses given absolutely everyone in this game can read, expects everyone else to know how to, and both mass produced book series and newspapers are a thing. (Note: Printing presses have existed since waaaay back but it's the mass paper manufacturing that makes newspapers and The Cursing of Chateu Castle possible that really has my eyebrows raised here, especially since neither Siffrin or Odile find either odd in any way, indicating such things are common everywhere, and while newspapers have been around since 1604 in our world, mass produced fantasy books didn't really take off until the start of the 20th century).

Food production and storage: despite being in the middle of a national disaster that almost certainly cut off trade networks and access to most suppliers for literal months now, Bonnie, a small child, is able to easily get their hands on fresh Pineapple, curry ingredients (for samosa), potatoes, plantains etc with no issues or anyone commenting on this being unusual or lucky. Oh and the only character who even brings up the concept of potential starvation is the Fishing One, and only in a sort of 'we're not at risk now but sooner or later...' kinda way due to noticing that the fish they fish up for fun are disappearing and likely being frozen. So yeah, that heavily implies Vaugarde has very good food storage tech/Craft (possibly better than ours), and likely also good food production and harvesting tech/skills also.

The Island's incredible knowledge of the stars: while the oldest known orrery in our world is dated from around 205 to 87 BC (ancient Greek, earth centric model), the fact Sif -who would've learnt this as a child/teen- is so very certain that stars are big balls of fire made up of gas is interesting as that's something our world couldn't prove the theory of until around the 1900s (note: it'd been theorized a LONG time but Sif talks like its complete facts to them . Additionally the earliest existing record of a telescope in our world dates to a 1608 patent and we see one of those in game.

Post posting EDIT: A wonderful user qds-place pointed out that Mirabelle has anti-anxiety medication in her room. This is in both ISaT and SAaP and though we're not sure what form the medication takes (pills? Valium? Megitech esc Craft boosters???) the fact they specifically have 'anti anxiety' medication at all (as opposed to idk dragging Mira off and drugging her through the gills) is kind of impressive and if it IS modern anti anxiety pills those could be as recent in creation as the 1950s! So um. Some high levels of tech implied in chemistry there <3

So... yeah. All this, plus the fact that the highest tech implied area, The Island, literally specialised in the study/Craft of turning wishes into reality (for a long enough time period that Wish Craft is culturally so ingrained in the King and Sif that they do it without thinking and it seems intertwined with their nation's religion) has been completely erased from memory to the point anything heavily associated with them has been forgotten, and also we only ever see Dormont aka a little village well away from the cities, it's not hard to conclude that you can basically justify giving the ISaT world any level of tech you want, so long as you lock any of the truly 'setting breaking' stuff like planes and rockets behind The Island's forgetting curse (I would've said trains too but thinking about it trains were invented in 1802 so it's honestly easy to imagine that they totally exist in the ISaT setting/Vaugarde but aren't ever on screen because rail is way too dangerous to consider using while the Curse is active and potentially time freezing things on the tracks).

Side note: We know absolutely nothing about Vaugarde's transport system but as a fan of fantasy RPGs it is honestly a travesty I have yet to see a fic that has flying dragons/wyverns or other fantasy mounts in setting. Like, ok yes, the party would probably have wanted to use those but maybe they don't like the Curse and fled? Maybe the King's Curse targeted them first? Maybe all their handlers dropped the heroes off in Dormont and said 'Well Saviors it's been fun, but well me and Scales here are off to Poteria until things wrap up so best of luck to you' before buggering off?

This isn't really a serious complaint just. Me reminding myself/potentially other fanwork writers out there that there's a lot about the setting we just don't know about and limiting all travel to walking, horse drawn carriage and boat is not actually required. (Also please mix up travelling to the Island. Boats are a wonderful classic and have great thematic vibes for Sif's original leaving of the Island but like. Imagine the sheer in-universe wtf of the memories of The Island suddenly coming back and people on the north coast suddenly realising there's a massive bridge, subway or underwater tunnel leading there that everyone just forgot about - potentially filled with all kinds of Sadnesses that need taking down. Or Warp Panels in a House of Change, idk XD).

Timeline

Canon notes first:

Bonnie is a preteen (8 to 12), Mira and Isa are in their early to mid 20s (with Isa slightly older), Sif is late 20s to 30, and Odile is 40+ Nille is stated to be around 18 to 20.

Siffrin ran away from home when they were a teenager (13 to 17? 18?) and this is heavily implied to be when the Island was Forgotten.

Bonnie (in ISaT specifically*) says that Nille told them that when it happened all the adults were talking about it, hence why they think The Island is close to their village. *In Start Again a Prologue, Bonnie says that they themself remember the adults talking about the Island disappearing, which er. Is a bit impossible given they likely weren't even born yet when that happened but that can be explained away by AU differences, InsertDisc5 still finalising details between SAaP and ISaT, and/or OG Siffrin having been in the loops so long they weren't actually listening when Bonnie was talking and just 'scripted' in their head something 'close enough' to what Bonnie was saying to get the idea (note: mentioned that idea before in my post here on the differences between the House and King in Start Again vs In Stars and Time for anyone curious so er please feel free to give that a read if you haven't already).

Odile mentions remembering 'when it happened' as well and has been 'travelling for years'.

The King 'appeared out of nowhere' sometime in his adulthood, and lived in the city of Corbeaux for a few years before he became the King.

The King became the King as was freezing people in time long enough before his attack on the House of Dormont that everyone inside knew he was coming, there were a wall's worth of newspaper articles about him, and everyone was expecting Euphrasie to defeat him.

Mirabelle's quest began 'almost a year ago' and Sif lost their eye 'recently'.

Thoughts on the above:

Calculating when The Island was forgotten:

Sif being mid 20s to 30 and having run away from home as a teen means that The Island has to have been forgotten somewhere between 9 to 17 years ago with nine only possible if he ran away at age 17 and is only age 26 now, and seventeen being the far opposite if he ran at age 13 and is currently 30.

To narrow down the timeline: Given Sif ran away from home because he 'didn't want to eat his veggies' and 'just wanted to scare [his] parents a little bit' it's probably safe to assume Siffrin was likely on the younger end of the teen spectrum (teens run off all the time sure but with loving parents and over veggies? That screams 'kid who has not yet learned that freaking out the parents will get their ass grounded and/or yelled at a LOT and is therefore best saved for doing fun forbidden stuff that ideally the parents will never find out about' XD) Additionally given Siffrin can't remember his age/birthday etc but Isabeau outright says near the beginning of the game "But you're older than most of the people here?" meaning Sif must be visibly older than Isa or Mira, so he's probably closer to 30 than not.

Those alone would imply the Island likely disappeared closer to the '17 years ago' side of things BUT Nille (tops 20 years old) told Bonnie that "[the Island's disappearance] was all the adults would talk about for ages" and kids usually can't remember anything prior to 4 years of age so with that in mind...

I'd say The Island most likely disappeared between 13 to 16 years ago.

Nille stuff:

This is more a general mention but. Nille is tops 20 years old. Bonnie is between 8 and 12 and doesn't remember their parents at all.

This means Nille ran away with Bonnie and gained emancipation and custody of Bonnie (if Vaugarde has formalised that kind of legal stuff) while she was at most 12 years old herself and could have in theory been as young as 6..!

Regardless, it's very likely the original home situation was that bad, Nille deserves a ton of credit for raising Bonnie as well as she has and I'd say it's very VERY likely she had a lot of help from villagers in Bambosche and/or the local House of Change in doing so. ...But also Bonnie is very adamantly 'my sister and village' and not 'my sister and [specific names who live with us]' so there's clearly by the time Bonnie was 4 or so they were living in their own place so... Yeah. Lotta drive for independence there too it seems (so the party might have more trouble adopting Nille into their group post ISaT than Bonnie might expect).

King stuff:

Already an adult 13 to 16 years ago so at bare minimum 33. Given his vibe probably much older though.

Newspapers get printed pretty quick though for there to be so much speculation and research done into his background so quick, either Vaugarde has some form of fast messaging system (something like a Chappe telegraph on top of the Houses of Change? Odile I think does mention that they'll have a message sent to let Nille know they'll be returning Bonnie...) or the King was freezing stuff for IDK around a month or two before reaching Dormont? Alas can't find out how long it takes to walk across all of France out very easily (I'm sure the numbers are out there but my brain is pudding rn) but if we had those numbers we could probably make some guesstimates based off the rough sketched map of Vaugarde InsertDisk5 did... Which I would link but apparently the tumblr post I had it linked on has been deleted???? 'wails at this very unhappy development'

Mira's journey and Sif's eye:

We really don't know a lot but almost a year ago gives us somewhere around 9 to 11 months to spread the journey out along and after eye removal surgery the patient can out and about as soon as 2 to 6 weeks after, maybe sooner with magic healing (though full recovery/growing used to the changed spacial awareness -which Sif clearly does not have- probably can't be sped up and takes around 3 to 6 months) so um. I'd guestimate Sif's eye injury is really recent; like two months ago tops recent. ...Which sorta explains a lot of why Bonnie is not dealing with it right now and also why the others might be trying to avoid bringing it up (since Sif clearly loves avoiding the issue but they haven't yet realised that maybe they really should bring it up even if it annoys them anyway?)

Odile with some Ka Bue speculation:

When it comes to The Island, how did Odile, presumably living in Ka Bue at the time, remember 'when it happened'? Was the Island well known enough even on the other side of the world that it's disappearance made waves? Or was Odile herself or someone she's close to paying attention to the region? (Like maybe her dad or a friend is/was into politics or trade, keeping up with overseas news and got concerned it could happen to Ka Bue? I'd say 'I remember when it happened' line implies it was more immediate knowledge than being informed by a messenger much later though...)

As for Odile's 'years of travel' I have to wonder, what's left behind for her in Ka Bue? She brings up going back there quite a bit, might just miss home and possibly her father if he's still alive, but given it took her years to get here for something so personal rather than idk 'materially rewarding' I think Odile might have some kinda family estate or something back in Ka Bue... Something she wasn't worried about potentially losing while far away, but solid enough to want to return to, beyond her father who she'd definitely want to see again if he's still around. (...But given how open she is to chilling about Vaugarde a few more months with the others, I really don't think he is alive, since well, given their respective ages and travel between Vaugarde and Ka Bue apparently taking years, there'd definitely an uncomfortably high chance of him passing away while she's gone and that seems like the thing that'd stress Odile out so... Yeah. Probably got an estate in Ka Bue she'd like to take the Family to visit/possibly sell off if she decides she'd like to live with them in Vaugarde so... Just my off the cuff headcanoning here and hoping that gives others ideas or something).

---

Anyway that's all the ramble I've got in me so... yeah! Hope this was interesting and useful for those needing a bit of a 'possible tech'/timeline calcs breakdown for the Island + a few more vague things and um. Probably will post a long winding ramble about my attempt at a ISaT Selkie AU fic I've been working on next <3 (Not to be confused with looped-140-and-counting's already existing and quite wonderful Selkie Siffrin AU which already has a completed oneshot fic, a snippet of sequel, two snippets of prequel/Sif flashbacking and I believe a comic too, all of which I highly recommend <3)

[goldenpinof]

Audiencly | DanAndPhilGames | Socialpoint

Adrian Kotowski (the founder of Audiencly) doesn't count dnpg collabs with Socialpoint pre-2023 (7 videos and the sponsorship of the US leg of TATINOF) and, allegedly the 1st sponsored video in November 2023.

So, 11 bookings are, allegedly, the sponsored videos from December 2023 till July 2024 (included).

Flexion bought Audiencly in 2022.

(a huge credit to Emma @dnpbeats for noticing Audiencly in Evony's sponsorship, checking how it's related to dnpg and Socialpoint, and finding these posts)

for anyone who cares and myself, in case i forget.

(when i say Dragon City, i mean Socialpoint)

the 1st post-hiatus sponsorship was of the Roblox video posted on November 4, 2023; it was a single video with a Dragon City sponsorship. the next video sponsored by them was posted on December 1, 2023, and it went in a pack of 3 sponsored videos in a row. After that, Dragon City was sponsoring only 2 videos in a row, never single videos again. In July 2024, there were 2 videos sponsored and posted on July 12 and 14, respectively.

The LinkedIn posts went up on July 22, 2024. From December 1, 2023 till July 14, 2024 there are 11 videos sponsored by Dragon City.

The next Dragon City sponsorships were on September 20 and 22, 2024.

That's why I think Adrian counts only from December 2023. dnpg appeared on Audiencly's website after June 2024 (probably also in July, but idk how to confirm it).

(my spreadsheet with sponsors came in handy, everyone cheered)

(even though Audiencly is also partnered with NordVPN, i don't think the deal with dnp is going through Audiencly based on the pattern of Dragon city and Evony sponsorships and the whole Audiencity's idea to make sponsorships more personal. NordVPN's sponsorships of dnpg don't fit into this pattern, but it's all alleged)

[mollysunder]

Sinco as a ship are such boring middle aged men together, and I think that's beautiful. When they're together all their ruthlessness and banal violence almost cancels out, almost. Silco and Singed aren't after the same goal, but they're both just on the same wavelength that there's no real argument or manipulation, it's just two men in agreement to spend over a decade of their lives working together.

Almost nothing seems like an argument between them, they're just on the same page. Silco and Singed are completely independent of eachother and it makes their relationship all the more intentional. They're both set in their ways in what they want and who they have to be to get it, but the two have carved a space for each other in their lives.

Singed is so sparing with his empathy, but is willing to extend it to Silco, while Silco is willing to trust Singed with Jinx. Except in the case of their children, there's not much further these men go in forms vulnerability for anyone else but eachother.

[crescentfool]

happy mochizuki monday!!!

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep - A Fragmentary Passage - Forest of Thorns

[butchviking]

i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!