#but i can also see how they would be really‚ Really annoying to an actually involved fan

[crybabybat]

This got some really fucking annoying reblogs while I wasn’t watching it so:

“Nobody should be allowed to make irreversible health decisions while in distress (suicidal) or under the age of 25, PERIOD”

1. You didn’t read the post. You literally didn’t take a single thing in.

2. I started testosterone at 16 years old. I would have killed myself otherwise. If that sounds like proof that I shouldn’t have been allowed to start T to you, all that tells me is that you have never felt compassion for a trans person and you haven’t thought about dysphoria for more than 5 minutes.

3. Nobody bats a fucking eye when cis people make irreversible decisions under 25! Cis people are going on HRT and getting gender affirming surgeries fucking constantly!! Intersex kids are getting forced to take hormones literally every day to “correct” traits their bodies naturally produce!! You literally only give a shit when it’s trans people accessing joy!

4. Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

“Do therapy about it first, at very least”

I saw multiple therapists! I was in therapy pretty much constantly ages 14-18. I was legally required to see a special gender therapist for a certain amount of time before she would refer me to a doctor I had to see three times at least before he’d let my parents sign the papers to allow me to start taking testosterone.

“Okay but you can become infertile and that’s a huge and major and devastating side effect that no one could possibly want. This is a trump card”

1. Literally every single doctor prescribing hormones will tell you this first and offer solutions to preserve your eggs/sperm.

2. This might shock you. But many people will be or become infertile for reasons including, but not limited to, the ways their bodies naturally produce hormones. This does not need to be fixed unless the individual wishes for it to be, and is not inherently a defect.

3. HRT actually does a terrible job at making you infertile. Like it cannot be used as birth control because even after SEVERAL years of being on hormones, the vast majority of trans people can still reproduce if they haven’t had other procedures that affect their ability to.

4. Treating people like their ability to reproduce and give birth is more important than their happiness and right to change their bodies how they wish, is fucking insane. You sound so fucking stupid.

I said I think people should be able to access hrt more freely and generally feel more inspired to try it out for a few months if it sounds like something they might benefit from. I think everybody has the right to informed consent and autonomy, including children. 3 months of HRT is not going to make anybody infertile, it probably isn’t even long enough for your voice to drop if it’s T, and it certainly isn’t long enough for breasts to grow on E. I ALSO didn’t say that doctors should stop discussing potential side effects, such as infertility, with patients, to the same degree that they’d discuss them with any other medication. I just think it’s actually fucking fine if people want to try it out! If it works that’s awesome, if it doesn’t work you can stop! Fuck!!!

I will never understand how cis people widely continue to see HRT as a huge decision that needs years of consideration and should only be used as a last resort for minors if they’re on the edge of suicide, and other things of this nature.

Like your body already has those hormones. It’s already doing that. It’s okay. They’re just hormones, you can play around and see what you like, what feels right. It’s literally fine. Changes to our bodies and voices and genitals and things are already an inherent part of being human.

It’s the weight that’s put on the decision to go on HRT that manufactures the major concerns of regret. If you decide it’s not for you and you’re upset because your body has been altered in a way that doesn’t feel good to you, that’s the same as getting a tattoo you don’t love, or breaking a bone, or being injured in some other way, or aging, or even getting a bad haircut. It is not automatically more horrific because it has to do with the perceived presentation of your gender. Hope this helps 👍🏼

[imtryingbuck]

My Saviour

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Buckys just received some news from the love of his life.

Word count: 6,269

Warnings: angst. fluff. suicidal thoughts. Bucky’s past mentioned. insecurities. scars mentioned. Bucky being madly in love. reader being an angel. past cheating and domestic abuse. pregnancy (it’s me im sorry) me not knowing anything about courts/sentencing.

Translation: ты мой спаситель - you’re my saviour (if wrong take it up with google translation)

Masterlist

Bucky wished Steve was still around so he could talk to him about things. He wish that his best friend was still there to see the progress he was slowly making. Wished to know if his best friend was proud of him.

But most importantly he wished Steve chose to stay with him and Sam so he could have met the person who brought him back to life, who brought his long existence actual meaning other than jumping from fight to fight. He knew Steve would have loved her and probably would have thanked her for everything.

But sadly Steve went to live a different life without him so he had to deal with Sam all alone.

For a year after Steve left Bucky struggled to go out, he struggled to find his path in a world that he wasn’t suppose to be apart of. He should have died that day when he fell from the train.

His therapist tried to get him to go out into the world and meet people, Bucky would say ‘next time’ until Dr Raynor eventually gave up on trying.

For a whole year Bucky moved with the motion, just existing, alive and breathing but just barely holding on to that invisible thread.

That was until six years ago. Six years ago everything changed.

** six years ago **

“Buck please-“

“Don’t call me that! How many times do I have to tell you”

“Oh I’m sorry Sir Bucky! But like I said please just come with me? It would do you some good to get out of your apartment, wait Bucky are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m listening. I do get out-“

“To see your therapist and that’s it”

“I’m still going out aren’t I?” Bucky responds snappily, rolling his eyes as Sam groans through the speaker.

“Please Bucky, it’s just coffee!”

“God sake, okay. I’ll be there. Bye” He really didn’t want to go out and get a coffee with Sam but he ended agreeing knowing that he would not have stopped, probably even going as far as coming to his apartment just to drag him out of there. Since Steve left, poor Bucky had been left all alone on with Sam, okay it wasn’t as bad as he made it out to be but still he had been left with a man that annoyed him more than anything.

Groaning inwardly he slides his phone into his jeans front pocket before shoving his gloved hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, as he walked down the street he kept his head down so he didn’t make eye contact with anyone walking by. It was safer that way. For him and those around him.

“James Barnes” he spoke roughly to the receptionist who made a habit of always pushing her chest out so he could get an eye full of her cleavage.

“Take a seat” she responds batting her eyelashes with her chest pushed out. He thought after the tenth time of him rolling his eyes at her not so subtle attempt at flirting she would get the hint.

He was not interested.

“S-sorry is this seat taken?” A soft timid voice from a woman pulled Bucky out of his staring competition he was having with the fake plant by the water dispenser.

“Huh?”

“Is-is anyone sitting here?”

“No. No you can sit”

“T-thank you” Bucky smiled and nodded softly instantly curious as to why she was also seeing a therapist. Bucky found himself getting lost in the smell of her perfume, the sweet smell creeping up his nostrils and into his senses. His eyes focused on the slow motion of her leg closest to his bouncing in time with the ticking of the clock.

“S-sir?”

“Huh? Yeah?”

“A-are you um are you J-James Barnes?”

Great just great. She knows who he is and from the way she stutters his name she clearly knows what he’s done and is scared of him. “Yes that’s me” he finally answers.

“Y-your names b-been called sir” she points over to where the receptionist is and sees her waiting for him to follow her down the hallway to Dr Raynors office.

Oh. Oh okay he got it wrong. “Oh, thank you”

“Y-your welcome sir”

Bucky offers her a small smile that she responds with the same and follows Lila down the corridor. He has no idea that the small smile he gave her meant a great deal to her. Nor does he know that she talks about him to her therapist that was two doors down from his.

Neither one realises that one small smile would make such a massive impact on their lives.

Over the course of four months, twice a week Bucky would see the woman whose name he had yet to know, every time they sat patiently in the waiting room they would find themselves sitting next to each other. Always quietly asking if the seat next to them was taken. Even if there were other available seats.

Dr Raynor had quite enjoyed hearing about the woman who seemed to have taken residence in Bucky’s mind. And Dr Harlow was proud of hearing that her patient was seeing someone new. She laughed when her patient blushed and began stumbling over her words that she was not seeing this man in that sense.

Bucky walked in to the waiting room expecting to find the woman whose presence he had become content being around only to frown at seeing the two seats that became unofficially theirs empty. The whole time he waited for her but she never showed. His name was called, as he followed Lila he kept turning his head back to the double doors in hopes that he would catch a glimpse of her. Walking into the room he frowned at seeing Dr Raynor and another woman sitting down. This was new.

“James, this is Dr Harlow.”

“Hi?”

“Hello James”

“What’s wrong? I didn’t do-“

“No, no James it’s… well you know the woman you’ve been telling me about?” Raynor cuts him off and waits for him to nod “well Dr Harlow is her therapist, Y/n was rushed in to the hospital early hours this morning-“

“Y/n? That’s her name? Wait… what happened to her? Is she okay? Where is-“

“James, she’s okay. We can’t disclose anything about what happened but-well you see Y/n has been talking about you in her sessions, nothing bad don’t worry, and you’ve been talking about her so we agreed that we should let you know”

Bucky sat there staring at his doctor as his mind raced with questions. She was in the hospital? Her name suited her perfectly. Why was she in the hospital? Who hurt her? She talked about him? ‘Nothing bad’ the good doctor stressed. Is she okay? “James?”

“Yeah erm, are you sure she’s okay?”

“Yes. We, well we talked to each other” Raynor points at between herself and Dr Harlow “and we think it would be a great opportunity for you to talk to her, maybe offer her some support-“

“Why me? Aren’t you two the therapists?”

“Yes we are but James I don’t think you realise how much those smiles and a few quiet words mean to Y/n. Nor she with you, now in my opinion I think it would be nice if the pair of you had someone to lean on when you don’t have a session.”

Thinking it over for a few minutes he nodded and agreed. Dr Harlow said Y/n had mentioned that she felt safe with him which made his heart race faster than usual at hearing that a complete stranger felt safe around him when he was so use to it being different. No one felt safe around him, hell he didn’t even feel safe with himself but yet she did. Not even ten seconds after the door closed behind Dr Harlow did Bucky start questioning his doctor about what had happened or where she was so he could go and see her, he just wanted to make sure she was fine but Raynor held strong and didn’t back down from the harsh glare he was sending towards her. She never did though to be honest.

Ten minutes later Dr Raynor thought it was best to cut their session short, though promised him that she would make out that they did the full hour.

Two weeks. Two whole weeks it had been since he was told that she was in the hospital and he hadn’t seen her. That day he thought it wouldn’t be any different to the other days where he expected to see her, until he turned his back on Lila who thankfully now took the hint that he wasn’t interested in her. His eyes squinted at seeing someone sitting in their seats.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked quietly, hoping that the woman in front of him would raise her head and smile as she said ‘no you can sit’. And when she did. Well… let’s just say that what he wanted to do to whoever had caused such pain and suffering to his Y/n he wouldn’t have pinned it on the Winter Soldier. No because Bucky Barnes would have happily admitted to shedding blood that wasn’t his own. Happily and proudly.

“N-no you can sit” she responds with that smile he sees when he closes his eyes at night.

“Doll-“ Lila cuts him off by calling his name signalling that it was his time, he nods at her then faces Y/n. “After your session I’m going to be waiting right here okay, and I want to take you for a coffee.”

“O-okay” Y/n says with a shy smile. Bucky smiles back before going up to Lila, eyebrows burrowing when she doesn’t lead him down the corridor. And that’s when it finally hits him. He had never seen her doing that to any of the other patients.

He tells Dr Raynor that Y/n was back, told her the bruises that littered her beautiful face, told her what he had said to her and her response. “Go easy on her James, don’t try and rush her into telling you all of her secrets okay” but in the same breath suggests a nice place for him to take her.

Forty five minutes after his appointment had ended he was now sat a cross the table from Y/n with a black coffee in front of him and a hot chocolate in front of her.

“You know what I’m going to ask you don’t you?” He says with a gentle smile, she nods. “Are you okay?”

“I-I’m fi-fine now sir”

“Bucky, call me Bucky. How long was you in the hospital for?”

“A few d-days, Dr Harlow told me that she told you what happened”

“Not exactly they just said that you was in the hospital, wanted me to know since you talk about me all the time” winking at her when she blushed.

“I-I d-don’t”

“All the time they said, said that your obsessed with me”

“Well y-you talk a-about me too!”

“Me? Never!” Bucky was ninety nine point nine percent sure that he had died right there and then and went to heaven when she laughed. He was sure of it. Her laugh could only described as angelic. God he wanted to hear it again and again until he dying breath.

“I-it was my ex” she whispered. She wasn’t stupid she knew what he wanted to ask.

“Where is he now?”

“Jail still, h-have to go court in-in two weeks. My lawyer said h-he’ll be going to prison for a long time, he broke the protection order an-and well this” she said gesturing to her face.

“You had a protection order against him?”

“Yes, throughout our relationship he was abusive the o-only way I managed to get out was because he had been cheating on me with a friend of mine, he left me a-and I was so happy because it meant that I didn’t have to suffer no more but the friend didn’t want him anymore because the fun of sneaking around had gone”. Taking a deep breath before sipping on her hot chocolate she continued. “He broke into my apartment and attacked me because I said no to taking him back, police was called by my neighbour and I got the restraining order against him because I could do that then, he went to prison and h-he got out three weeks ago, he broke into my apartment again and did this b-but the police arrived quickly as I already rang them”

“Doll… I’m so sorry”

“It’s okay. I’m okay now”

“It’s not okay Y/n”

“It is what it is, he’ll be going to prison for a long time and I’ll be able to live my life again.” She smiled.

“W-when is it that you have to go to court?”

“In two weeks, why?”

“Can I come with you? To offer my support” With her lack of response he knew he overstepped. Of course she isn’t going to want the former Winter Soldier to come with her to face another monster in her life. He’s about to apologise until she smiles once more and nods.

“I would really like that. Thank you Bucky” Bucky smiled and nodded.

Their second cup of hot drinks had slowly grown cold as the conversation flowed effortlessly between the pair. Bucky loved the way she no longer stuttered or stumbled over her words the longer they spoke. She was about to say something when a bang from the window startled the pair of them.

“Great.” He muttered.

“D-do you know him?”

“Who the crazy guy with his face squashed up against the window? Unfortunately” Y/n giggled at his words then looked at the man who did in fact have his face squashed up against the window, his eyes moving back and forth between herself and Bucky. Waving shyly at the man who waved excitedly back Bucky rolled his eyes. “You do realise you’ve just basically invited him in, don’t you? Oh see now he’s entering.”

“Stop being mean”

“Didn’t expect to see you here Barnes. Hi I’m Sam, Bucky’s best friend in the whole world”

“Hi Sam, I’m Y/n” she shakes his hand and smiles at Bucky who sits there rolling his eyes for the umpteenth time.

“Scoot over then Bucky. So how did you two meet?”

Bucky looked at Y/n to see if she was comfortable with letting him know, she just smiled. “We met in therapy”

“Oh, are you a therapist?”

“No, no I’m a patient”

“Does it help?”

“Sam!”

“What? I’m just asking”

Giggling at the two men “it’s fine Bucky, it has been helping. My therapist is really nice and understanding”

“That’s great. So did you two meet from group therapy or?”

“No we actually sat next to each other in the waiting room”

“Aw that’s so cute!” Sam winks at her whilst Bucky grumbled under his breath.

Sam ends up convincing Bucky and Y/n in getting something to eat not that he puts up to much of a fight as both of them were hungry themselves. Once again conversation flows effortlessly, even Bucky joined in with the laughter.

After food was eaten and an argument between the three about who was going to pay - Y/n winning when the two men were still arguing over the bill - they walked her all the way to her apartment. Bucky’s heart clenched painfully seeing her front door with dried blood on it. Sam noticed too and smiled sadly at his friend.

Two whole weeks passed, in those two weeks Sam kept “bumping” into the pair, the three of them would walk around talking about their lives, both of the men noticing that she was very vague about her life but neither one pushed her into saying more.

Today was the day where Y/n was going to court, as she stood outside she checked her watch worrying that Bucky wasn’t going to show up, not like he needed to he didn’t owe her anything anyway. She turned around to head up the many steps when her names called, turning she sees Bucky running over towards her. Sam following closely behind.

“Hey, hi, sorry we’re late I tried to shake this one off but he’s persist-“

“No it’s okay, I-I really appreciate the pair of you coming today. It means so much”

“You’re welcome sunshine, you’ve got our support” Sam smiles wrapping his arms around her squeezing slightly.

“Y/n? We need to go in” her lawyer says from the large brown double doors.

Sam nods to the pair and heads up the steps, Bucky smiled “me and Sam are here for you, it’s going to be okay”

“I’m scared about seeing him again b-but I-I can do it” Bucky’s hand reached out to hers that shook.

“I’ve got you, I promise”

“T-th-thank you Bucky”

Hand in hand they head up to where Sam was waiting patiently and followed the lawyers lead into the courtroom. Bucky’s knee wouldn’t stop bouncing from anger as Y/n bravely stood in the witness stand and gave her statement, hearing all the things that the bastard did to her made him want to attack him. Sam knew what was going through his friends head, honestly? He wasn’t going to be far behind him.

Three hours later her ex received a ten year sentence. Bucky watched as her body relaxes by hearing the judges words. He and Sam smiles at her when she turns around, her eyes moving along the rows to find where they sat, smiling as soon as she lands on them.

After leaving the courthouse Bucky took her hand in his again and the three of them went to the restaurant that Sam had suggested, in a way to celebrate Y/n’s new found freedom. Neither one of the men mentioned about what they heard or the photos they saw in the courtroom, other than telling her that they were proud of her bravery.

Six months had passed before any of them had realised, both of the therapists were proud of seeing completely different people sitting in front of them in their sessions. Bucky opened up more and so did Y/n, not only to their therapists but to each other.

The knock on the door pulled Bucky away from his bickering with Sam as his friend argued that pineapple on pizza was nice. “I’ll ask Y/n and see what she says! Hey doll”

“Hey, sorry I’m late”

“You’re not, don’t worry. Hey does pineapple belong on pizza?” He asked taking her coat and hanging it up on the hook.

“I’ve tried it and I like it” she waves to Sam.

“See! Sam I told you it was nice”

“But you said-“

“Shut up. Sam said that it was wrong but I said it was nice”

“No yo-“

“So how was your day?” Sam looked at Y/n mouthing ‘he’s lying’ making her giggle, she goes on to tell them all about her day which had Bucky hanging on to every word she spoke.

Halfway through the film Sam had picked Y/n went to the bathroom, Bucky eyed Sam curiously as the latter was sitting there grinning at him. “What?”

“Whens the wedding?”

“What wedding?”

“Yours and Y/ns”

“We’re not getting married? Why are you smiling like that?”

“If you say so, hey when are you going to tell her you love her?”

Choking on his beer Bucky shook his head “I don’t love her Sam”

“Okay, how about you telling her that you’re in love with her?”

“Sam shut up.”

“Nope. So when are you going to tell her?”

“I’m not going too alright. It’s just-it doesn’t matter alright just drop it”

“Drop what?” Y/n asked walking back into the living room.

“Pineapple being on pizza” Bucky says quickly his eyes going wide looking at Sam.

Laughing she shakes her head sitting back down next to Bucky “we’re not having this argument anymore boys”

“Try telling him that Y/n/n” now it’s Bucky’s turn to have a grin on his lips as Sam’s eyes squint at the pair.

“Sunshine has Bucky told you yet?”

“Told me what?”

“That he loves y-“

“Yogurts.”

“You… love yogurts?” She asked him with her eyebrow raised, Sam struggles to contain his laughter seeing Bucky become a stuttering mess.

“Yes�� I love yogurts, problem?”

“Nope no problem here” If Y/n wasn’t snuggling into his left side Bucky would have throttled Sam.

The knock on her door startled her from the tv screen in front of her - it didn’t help that she was watching a horror and that a jump scare was about to happen when the knock came.

“Bucky? Hey, are you okay?”

“I-I was just in the neigh-neighbourhood a-and I thought that I’d st-stop by”

“Yeah come in, James is everything alright?”

“Yeah, w-why?”

“It’s just that you’re stuttering… and I’m just worried that’s all”

“S-someone said something about me, it-it wasn’t good” he admitted twisting the bottle cap from the water bottle she had gave him.

“What did they say?”

“It doesn’t matter, I-I just wanted to see you-you know because I was in the neighbourhood”

The truth was he wasn’t, he had finally listened to Dr Raynors advice and go out. His plan was to go down the corner store to get some essentials in. Get in, get out that was easy and simple. He could do it. Until he heard two men who were talking clearly and loudly about him their conversation attracting the attention of others passing by them. And that’s when he realised his second mistake that day, the first mistake being to agree to go out, the second being that he forgot his gloves. The comments were harsh and unkind.

His first response was to put his head down shoving his hands into his pockets and walk all the way to Y/n’s apartment. Even if it was a forty minute walk.

Bucky needed to see her, he didn’t care if they sat in silence just as long as he was with her, he didn’t care if she forced him to watch that terrible tv show.

“Come on let’s watch something and have cuddles”

He was safe with her. Calmer. Happier. More comfortable and relaxed.

“Have you asked her?”

“No Samuel I haven’t”

“Why?”

“Because I haven’t seen her today”

“Why?”

“Because she had her session with Dr Harlow”

“Why?”

“Sam, I’m going to punch you in the face”

“Wh-“

Bucky rolled his eyes and put the phone call down. He couldn’t bear to hear why one more time. He was too busy going over what he was going to ask Y/n, so many things could go wrong she could say no, it would be weird as they’ve only known each other for a year now. She’s going to say no. Of course she is. He can’t ask, he just ca-

“Buck? Open up my arms hurt”

Buck. Buck, the name Sam was not happy about hearing slipping out of her mouth. He had tried years to call him that but always got shot down. It wasn’t fair.

“Buck? Shit are you not in?”

“No! No I’m in doll, hi, hello, hi”

“Hi, hello, hi to you too” Bucky laughs taking the bags off her arms carefully, then takes them into the kitchen. A month ago Y/n moved in to his apartment with him after the landlord put up the rent making her struggle to keep paying the higher rent, Bucky caught her looking for a new place to live when he suggested her living with him, she first denied but Bucky swore and promised that he was more than happy to let her stay with him, she ended up agreeing, Bucky could have cried with happiness all night but managed to contain himself.

“Did you get everything?”

“Nope, forgot absolutely everything you asked for” sticking her tongue out at him, he laughed.

God he loves her weirdness.

“So I- god sake Sam, hold on pretty girl. What now Sam? No I haven’t. Because she’s just walked in. You’re so needy do you know that? Okay I’ll ask now. Yes I’ll do it whilst you’re on the phone. Y/n, do you want to come to Louisiana with Sam and I?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we’re going for a week to see his sister and nephews and we want you to come too”

“Will his sister mind me being there?”

“No. So?”

“Are you guys really sure?”

“Absolutely”

“O-okay, that would be nice”

His smile doesn’t just take up his face but Sam’s as well “good, good. Did you hear Sam? Okay see you later” chucking his phone on to the counter he turns back to Y/n. “We leave tomorrow”

“Tomorrow? Oh god okay, I’ll go and pack now”

Two days later they arrive in Louisiana after both men took it in turns to drive, it was long and tiring for them but Y/n loved it. She had never been out of New York before so she was taking in the sights. When Bucky wasn’t driving he would watch her from his seat, seeing her face lit up made his heart tingle.

“Are you sure she won’t mind me being here?”

“I promise, she’s excited to meet you” Sam reassures her as he pulls up the gravelled driveway.

Greeting his sister and nephews, Bucky doing the same Sarah turned her attention to Y/n instantly engulfing her in a warm embrace. “It’s so nice to finally meet you”

“You too” she smiled softly.

Later that night after putting their things away they all sat outside watching as the sun started to set, Sam was manning the grill and Bucky were chasing the two boys around making them squeal with laughter and excitement. Sarah and Y/n were talking when Sarah asked the woman sitting in front of her something that made her choke and splutter on her drink.

“W-we aren’t to-together”

“Are you sure? The way he looks at you makes me think differently”

“No, no we’re just friends. Plus he wouldn’t like me so”

“Do you like him?”

“I-yes. But I would rather have him as my friend than not have him in my life”

“Tell him how you feel”

“No I can’t do that!”

“You can”

“No I can’t”

“Can’t what?” Bucky’s voice comes from behind her. Sarah has to stifle her laughter as Y/ns eyes went as wide as saucers.

“I-erm nothing.”

“Okay? Hey there’s a crab down on the beach that the boys have found, want to come and see it?”

“O-okay” Bucky smiles and holds out his hand for her to take, helping her stand he keeps his hand in hers as they walk towards the two boys.

“Is she in love with him?”

“I think so, hopefully they’ll admit their feelings because they’re so cute together” Sarah says with her eyes trained on the two fading figures, Sam smirks before flipping the burgers.

Later that night Y/n got startled when she went into the bathroom seeing Bucky standing motionless in front of the mirror. “Shit! Bucky you scared- hey are you okay?”

“I-I’m fi-I’m not okay Y/n/n” Y/n moved so quickly wrapping her arms around him, both falling on the ground.

“It’s okay, it’s okay” the sobs wracked through his body making her body shake. She kept repeating those words like a mantra.

“M-my hair”

“Your hair? What about it?”

“I-I want it gone, please, please help me g-get rid of it”

Her heart broke at hearing him sounding so small, in the whole year of knowing him he had always sounded so strong, and confident. Also she loved his hair and they both knew it, on nights where they cuddled up together on the couch watching movies her fingers would always end up playing with the soft strands of hair.

“A-are you sure?” feeling him nodding against her chest “okay, let me find some scissors and a clipper and I’ll do it for you okay?” Trying to stand was difficult especially since having a super soldier clinging to her. “Buck, I need to stand”

Finding the scissors was easy, it was just finding the clippers she had a difficult time coming up on. Cheering silently in triumph when she discovered them in the fourth draw. “Should we go outside so we don’t wake everyone up?”

“O-okay. Leave the light on Cass is scared of the dark, Sarah leaves the bathroom light on for him” Bucky whispered wrapping both of his hands around her free one.

Outside with only the porch light illuminating them, Y/n started cutting his hair the shorter it got the more Bucky started to relax. When it came to trimming his hair Bucky’s left arm reached around to tug on her waist, bringing her around to stand in between his legs, he smiled shyly up at her. Without thinking she leaned down as she placed her lips to his forehead. His arms snaked around the back of her legs squeezing lightly.

“I-it’s done, maybe Sam can fix it up later if it’s bad?”

“I bet y-you did a good job”

“Would you be mad if I said you had a massive bald spot right on the top of your head?”

He laughed and shook his head “no I won’t be mad”

“It’s a good job that there isn’t one isn’t there?”

“Y/n, thank you, i-it means a lot to me. Thank you”

“You don’t need to thank me. D-do you want to talk about what happened?”

“It was a nightmare. Just about my past” leading her over to the hammock on that swayed ever so lightly from the night breeze. “T-they did bad things to me, made me do worse”

“I’m here if you want to talk about it” she says squeezing his hand.

“They made me kill people, even when I completed the mission to their satisfaction they would still punish me and I never knew why. The chair was the worst, I-I did what I was told to do and I was still punished.”

Looking at the water he breathed deeply, he was about to tell her something to no one else knew, not even his therapist. “I-I’ve wanted to end my life since coming back from Wakanda b-b-but not since I met you I swear!”

“Oh Buck”

“It was easier to end it you know? But I couldn’t do it, I needed to try and make up for all the damage I caused.”

“Bucky it was-“

“It was though, wasn’t it? It was me the whole time”

“It wasn’t. Bucky you wasn’t in control of your own mind, your a good man, an incredible man - don’t scoff at me mister - you are, if you don’t believe me think about Sarah, even though I don’t know her all that well she seems to have a good sense of judgement, do you really think that she would let you be around her babies if she thought you was a bad person?”

Thinking her words over he had to agree with her words about Sarah even Sam wouldn’t let him anywhere near his sister and his nephews. Hell Tony wouldn’t have allowed him near his wife or daughter if they believed he was the monster that he still believed he was. “Y-you’re right”

Now it was her turn to think over the words from Sarah earlier that night. It was most likely going to blow up in her face and she was going to lose him as a friend forever but maybe just maybe Sarah could be right. “I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if you were a bad person Buck”

The silence that followed was killing her. She should have just kept her mouth shut.

He however couldn’t believe his ears. Surely she was playing a trick on him. There was no way this perfect angel as he always described her would ever feel the same way as him. Surely.

“I’m sorry Bucky, I-I’ll go n-“

He cuts her off by pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was soft, timid at first before they both gained their confidence their tongues dancing a slow dance together. Pulling away reluctantly Bucky leans his forehead against hers, both smiling widely at each other.

“I’m in love with you too” he whispered.

Nothing else was said. Nothing else was needed to be said.

Sam walks on to the porch with his hot cup of coffee that morning, his feet faltering when he sees Bucky and Y/n curled up together on the hammock fast asleep. Pulling his phone out he took a photo of the pair before running back into the house showing Sarah the photo.

As soon as they were back in New York Bucky asked Y/n out on a date, then another and another until he asked her to be his girlfriend. And soon enough she had moved into his room with him.

The first time she saw him topless was when he came out of the bathroom wearing grey joggers, he thought she was still in the living room. He heard the quiet gasp, he looked up to see her standing there and his stomach dropped.

“Y/n-“

“Your body… did the gods sculpt you? I-is that, two, four, six yep that’s an eight pack, how do you get an eight pack?”

Hearing her words he blushed with a little chuckle. “T-the scars-“

“Beautiful”

“Don’t lie to me”

“I would never lie to you Buck, everything about you is beautiful”

That night they made love for the first time, each of them taking their time in admiring the scars that littered their bodies. The second she pressed her lips delicately against the rough, raised patch where skin meets metal he honestly thought his heart was going to stop beating.

“ты мой спаситель, did you know that?” he whispered one night placing kisses on her bare shoulder.

“What does that mean?”

“ты мой спаситель?”

“Yeah”

“It means… your smelly”

“No it doesn’t” she laughs.

“No your right, it means you’re my saviour”

“Buck-“

“You are Y/n/n, you’ve saved me you’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been before a-and I know I wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for you”

“I’ll be with you until you want me to leave”

“So never” he laughed, pulling her body even closer to his. “I love you Y/n/n”

“I love you too Buck”

Bucky wished Steve was still around so he could talk to him about things. He wish that his best friend was still there so he could tell the blond about how nervous he was. He imagined Steve’s reaction as he fixed his tie for the ninth time within five minutes.

A year had passed, on their year anniversary Bucky got down on one knee and proposed, three months later he was standing in the spare bedroom of Sarah’s house in his suit as Sarah helped Y/n with her dress.

He really wished Steve was there to see him marrying his love.

A month before marrying both Sam and Bucky retired, both men tired of the bloodshed and nightmares. Sam told Bucky that he was going to move down to Louisiana, he even brought up a business proposal, Bucky had to admit it did sound tempting he promised Sam that he would run it by Y/n.

“Sam’s moving closer to Sarah, you know now that we’ve retired.”

“Oh, right”

“He erm he brought up a proposal to go into business together-“

“Did you say yes? Please tell me you said yes!”

“Why? Do you want to move to Louisiana?”

“Yes! I mean I knew Sam was going to move back there so I may or may not have been looking at houses down there…”

Sam cheered loudly down the phone when Bucky rang him to tell him that they were coming too.

“You ready Bucky?” Sam asked popping his head around the door.

“Yeah, yeah I’m ready”

Bucky faltered walking out of the house only expecting to see AJ, Cass and Roy - the man who was going to be marrying them - but yet all the people Y/n and himself had befriended over the two years they had been going to Louisiana, had showed up to watch them become one.

Being announced as husband and wife had their hearts doing a double take. They were married and neither one could believe it. And neither one could wipe the smile off their faces.

“ты мой спаситель… wait did I pronounce any of that right?” She panicked as they slow danced to the live music from a local band.

“Di-did you learn that just for me?”

“Yes” she giggled “so did I say it correctly?”

“Yes you did мой спаситель”

The celebration went on well into the night.

** present time **

“Buck?”

“Huh?”

“Did you just hear what I said?” Y/n looks up at him lightly nibbling on her bottom lip looking nervously.

Of course he had heard the words that came out of her mouth but those exact words made him think about how they met, and how far they both had come from being complete strangers who met in the waiting room of their therapist building to now being a happily married couple whose love continued to grow as the days passed.

“I did, but tell me again, please”

Oh how he can’t wait to tell his best friend Sam the news he had just received.

Taking his hands in hers she placed them on her still flat stomach and smiled.

“You’re going to be a dad.”

Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77

[marauder-misprint]

Permission

Series Masterlist

Sirius Black x Fem!Slytherin!reader

1.5k words

cw: fluff, swearing

Sirius makes it his mission to find Regulus before dinner. He doesn’t have any idea how he would convince Regulus, but he figures he’d start with asking him. Worst Regulus could say would be ‘no,’ right? And then Sirius could work on wearing his brother down until he said ‘yes.’ You may be a dear friend of Regulus, but Sirius was confident he could sway him.

Sirius makes his way to the library. He is almost certain Regulus would be there. He had seen you walk down toward the Slytherin Common Room so all he can do is hope Regulus is in the library and not awaiting you in the dungeons. He feels uneasy as he opens the library door. He doesn’t visit the library often so the thick scent of old parchment and ink takes over his senses. Madam Pince gives him a cautious look from her desk. 

As Sirius walks in, he scans each table for his brother. He passes shelf after shelf, looking down each one. Each table is filled with students but none of the Slytherins are Regulus, and none are ones he could ask for his location. However, he’s on a mission. He has to find Regulus. Sirius looks throughout the entire library and stops right before the last shelf. He takes a deep breath. If Regulus isn’t at the table at the end of this aisle, he’ll have to search all of the castle. He takes a step forward and turns his head. 

There he is, sitting at the table which is covered in stacks of books. Sirius can’t help the massive grin that spreads across his face as he casually strolls down the aisle. The younger boy doesn’t notice him until he’s practically leaning over his shoulder.

“I remember Flitwick assigning that essay,” Sirius says lazily. 

Regulus stops moving for a moment. Then, slowly and mechanically, he turns his head to look at Sirius and sits up straighter.

“Sirius.”

His blank stare quickly turns unnerved as he sees Sirius’ smile. Whenever Sirius hunted him down, it was to give a message to their parents and therefore, he usually had a grim or annoyed look on his face. This unbridled joy is a new look. 

“I need to ask you something,” Sirius says.

“Then ask it, brother.”

“I need your… permission.”

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “For what?”

“To take your friend on a date.”

He blinks at Sirius. 

“My friend?”

“You know which one.”

“Yeah… The dog person.”

“So, can I take her out?”

“I don’t know why you’re asking me. She’s her own person.”

Sirius pulls out a chair and sits down. 

“She said you have to think it’s a good idea. Otherwise she won’t go with me.”

Regulus hums and looks back down at his essay. “That’s interesting.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“After she came back smelling of you twice, she said she’d tell me if you made a move,” he laughs. “Didn’t know she was going to make you tell me yourself.”

“She isn’t making me do anything,” Sirius says, crossing his arms and leaning back into his chair.

“She’s making you get permission, isn’t she?”

“Yes…” Sirius pauses. “So can I take her out on a date?”

Regulus sighs as he takes a long look at Sirius. Sirius sits there silently, trying to get a read on his expression. He couldn’t quite tell which way this conversation was going.

“What do I get out of it?”

“Anything.” 

That was a dead giveaway for Regulus. If Sirius was willing to owe him anything, he really wanted to take you out on a date. It was also a game changer for him. Regulus had been planning on saying no the entire conversation; if you sent Sirius his way for permission, you figured out that Sirius wasn’t taking no for answer from you and needed someone he might actually listen to. 

“She thinks you’re pretty, by the way,” Regulus finally says. “But if you hurt her in any way, I will personally make your death look like an accident. Or they’ll never find your body. I’ll decide on that later.”

Sirius gapes at him. 

“She thinks I’m pretty? Did she say this to you?”

“Yes.”

“Wait, you said if I hurt her. So you think me going on a date with her is a good idea?”

Regulus snorts a laugh. “Well, no. But we’re going to say I do. I think it’d be good for her. And you.”

“Huh,” Sirius says, not completely sure what his brother meant by that but he wasn’t going to ask.

“Huh?” Regulus echoes.

“Yeah. … What else did she say about me?”

Regulus rolls his eyes before actually returning to his essay. “Fuck off. Be glad I think it’d be funny to hear about a date with you from her perspective. Go.”

Sirius claps a hand on Regulus’ shoulder before he leaves the library with a new spring in his step. Was he technically in Regulus’ debt? Yes. But Sirius is certain it will be worth it, and there’s always the chance that he will never redeem this favor. 

He’s surprised when he doesn’t see Regulus at dinner. Dorcas and Pandora sit on either side of you. Sirius spends far too much time watching you with a permanent smile on his face during the meal.

“Did… something happen?” Remus asks cautiously.

“Mhmm.”

“Okay so what happened?” Peter follows up.

“She’s going on a date with me.” Sirius’ voice is giddy.

James nearly chokes on his juice. “She agreed to a date with you?”

Sirius shoots him a look before saying, “All I had to do was get Reg on board. Surprisingly easy.”

“I don’t believe that,” Peter says through a mouthful of food. He swallows. “Why would your brother need to be ‘on board’?” 

“They’re friends, remember?” Remus answers. 

“Probably thought he’d say no or something,” Peter says. 

“But he didn’t. And now we’re going to Hogsmeade this weekend.”

Sirius continues to watch you for the rest of the meal. You don’t look his way once. You think there is no way that he’s already talked to Regulus and managed to get him to say it’s a good idea. You don’t even bother to tell your friends about it. You’re certain it’s not happening. That’s why you sent Sirius to Regulus; the brothers never agreed on anything. They never talked. 

After dinner, you’re leaving the Great Hall with your friends when you hear Sirius calling your name. You turn and cross your arms. Dorcas pulls Pandora away with her, somehow understanding that Sirius would want to talk to you alone again. 

“We’re on for this weekend,” he says confidently with the same giddy grin that was on his face all meal.

You choke on air. “Excuse me?”

“Regulus gave me permission. Said it was a good idea. Whatever you want to call it. I have his blessing.”

“No. No. No.”

“Yes. Yes. Yes, my darling,” Sirius replies, his eyes lighting up. “We are having a Hogsmeade date and you can’t get out of it.”

“No. No. No. No. No,” you keep repeating.

“Come on, love. It won’t be as bad as you’re making it out to be.”

“I’m not getting my hopes up,” you say before running a hand through your hair with a groan. “I’m not believing you until I hear it myself from Reg.”

“That’s fine. But I talked to him in the library before dinner. We’re in the clear.”

You turn away from Sirius and walk away. Your mind is spinning from the idea of actually going on a real date with Sirius Black. There is no way Regulus actually said it was a good idea. He wouldn’t betray you like that. You’re suddenly at the common room entrance. Your body had gone into autopilot while your thoughts and worries about the possibility of this weekend swirled in your mind. However, worry quickly melts into anger as you descend into the common room and see Regulus lounging on one of the couches. 

“Black!” you yell from where you stand at the bottom of the stairs. “I’m going to murder you!”

He glances over at you. Even from a distance, you can see the slight glimmer of fear in his eyes. You approach the couch with purpose in your steps. You grab his shirt collar and pull his face close to yours.

“What the fuck did you say to your brother?” you hiss. 

“You kept saying no to me. Thought you might like to go on a date with a different pretty bloke. At least he’s occasionally funny,” he teases, although there is a slight tremble in his voice.

You furrow your brows as you drop his collar. 

“You were supposed to say no!” you groan, moving around the couch so you can fall down next to him. “You were the one accusing me of dating him!”

“I’m giving you the chance to find out if you actually like him. See if it does go anywhere beyond him being pretty like me.”

“Regulus. I might actually kill you.”

“Why?”

“Because of you, I’m spending my Saturday in Hogsmeade with your goddamn brother!”

“Yeah and thanks to you, Sirius is now in my debt.”

“No,” you gasp. 

Regulus’ lips twitch upwards. 

“He said he’d do anything.” 

“I hate you.”

He shakes his head. “If it’s really so bad, you can decide what Sirius owes me.”

“I think I should get to decide that anyways.”

tags: @2dloveshp, @yearninglustfully, @made-for-oliverwood, @ilovejamespottersomuch, @hisparentsgallerryy, @itsseaberri, @corawithfanfiction, @devilslittlehelper, @jllyunn, @barnes70stark,

tags: @crowleythesexydemon, @flow33didontsmoke, @navs-bhat, @louweenier, @l0g0phobe,

@ellouisa17, @theendofthematerialgworl, @marina468, @bmyva1entine

[matrixbearer2024]

Remember when I said these two knew how to play instruments? It was just a teeeeensy thing in a post- yeah here's both of them playing a pretty iconic melody cuz what the hell and holy shit drawing instruments is HARD LMAO

I got skill issued with this piece so bad and I know the piano keys are wrong but I do not have the energy to care about it right now-

Context of the picture is them just practicing, this was taken before they graduated senior high so it's not actually that far back but it's old enough. They don't look all that pleased considering it's like the twentieth time they've played that piece again just to get it perfectly right. Ford literally wouldn't shut up about it until they did despite Stan being slightly annoyed by it and his inability to keep up sometimes on faster pieces HAHAHAHA

ANYWAY- yes, Ford isn't wearing his gloves because it's harder for him to play when he is and Stan plays the violin because he lost a game of rock paper scissors with his brother... well it's more than that but basically they wouldn't stop fighting over the piano(classic case of siblings pissing each other off for the sake of pissing each other off) and they had a best of three with rock paper scissors to see who had to learn a second instrument and Stan lost LMAO

Good on him though for sticking to his word though, so he picked up the recorder in the meantime while trying to decide on a duet instrument. Problem being he couldn't really learn the recorder much before he found his snapped in two at some point in his room(Filbrick). So he tried something else, the violin.

That thing stuck, even until college he still knows how to play the violin and play it well. Stanley just rarely practices where people can accidentally hear him or stumble into him because he'd rather not get bombarded with music requests.

Ford actually did give up playing the piano at some point though, mostly because he's always pestered to keep his gloves on while practicing(Filbrick) and he's sadly too impatient to actually get used to such a thing when he knows he's already much better off without the gloves. He hasn't forgotten how to play though, he just refuses outright for the most bit.

It's pretty upsetting to watch him practice sometimes though because he's that piano player that slams on the keys when he's pissed enough and his perfectionist tendencies really doesn't help when he misses a note or screws up the tempo. Stan's gotten pretty good at notifying him about it though since neither would want to accidentally deal with a broken piano from Ford breaking something in the mechanisms from hitting the keys too hard.

It's actually happened once before when they first started out and the earful he got for it plus some pretty unsavory things(Filbrick) I won't specify had kind of low-key traumatized both of the twins.

Also if you do notice, Stan's shirt is the same design as the one he has in college. It's not because it's the same shirt, he bought the same design after he wore this one to shreds because it's comfy. I don't even know what to say about it cuz that's kinda it chat HAHAHAHAHHA

[onceonafullmoon]

Mirror

Rin x GN!Reader

Comfort Angst, experiences of anxiety attacks, Reader and Rin are both kind of obsessive lmao, some threats of violence but nothing happens, established relationship and also merry christmas though this fic has nothing to do with that!!

“Speak for yourself. I’m perfectly logical.” He eventually retorts. You actually laugh at that, though it definitely sounds weak and shaky even to your own ears. “…stupid.” You say with a fond smile. “At least I can be honest with myself.”

It’s a sunny day as you watch your boyfriend on the field, his figure distant as you sit in the stands, watching him practice. The birds are chirping, a few fluffy clouds decorate the sky and the temperature is mild if not a bit warm… it’s a beautiful day. 

And you’re pissed off.

Not at him, almost never at him despite his oftentimes abrasive and harsh demeanor. But then again, you’ve always been exceptionally lenient when it comes to Rin.

No, the reason you’re pissed off isn’t because of Rin, rather it’s because of your own issues, your own stewing jealousy when a particularly pretty girl happened to confess her feelings to your handsome boyfriend in the form of a note in his locker.

Obviously, he rejected her, in that blunt way of his, but even then you couldn’t help but notice how he took the time to make sure he rejected her in person, still respecting her feelings despite the fact that he didn’t return them.

And it really shouldn’t bother you… but you’ve always been, unhinged, to say the least.

It’s hard to explain exactly, but, when it comes to the people in your life, when it comes to hobbies you have, anything that you’re passionate about, you tend to get absorbed in those things in a rather unhealthy way.

Like that time you dropped all your plans to cheer up your best friend when she was only mildly upset, or that time you watched a series and then made it your entire personality for a month straight… you’ve always been a tad obsessive.

And when it comes to you, it feels more juvenile to feel this way. 

It’s hard to explain, but you’ve always been more emotionally honest than Rin, and for that reason you feel like you come off as more needy. 

Or maybe that means you’re more emotionally mature.

Or not.

You don’t know, you hate going in circles like this, pacing around in your own mind. Sometimes you wonder if you were more like Rin and ignored your feelings it would be less annoying. But you suppose that self awareness is one of your strengths.

Although, you have to admit, self awareness is also a curse when you have to deal with your own negative emotions rather than having a philosophical discussion, which brings you back to your conflicting feelings.

You don’t like being jealous, no one does, but you feel especially icky about the types of thoughts it brings. You don’t like the fact that your first thought towards this girl was so negative, you don’t like the fact that you feel like a worse person because of that and you don’t like the fact that a very primal part of you wants to march over onto that field and kiss your boyfriend senseless for no reason other than to see his swollen lips afterwards.

Normally, you’d have no problem talking about your feelings with Rin, as emotionally closed off and brash as he is, but something about this makes you feel like you want to stick your head into a hole in the ground, much like an ostrich. Or, to put it plainly, you’re a mess and you’re losing your mind trying not to implode with all your emotions.

Imploding can wait though, you’ll dissect this when you get home, right now you’ll throw on a smile and talk to your boyfriend who you are most certainly not creating scenarios of sneaking off with this pretty girl with her stupid pretty smile and her dumbass cute hairstyle–

Right.

No imploding.

You sigh and shake your head, looking back at the field, watching as Rin begins to wrap up his practice and take that as your cue to make your way over to him after you hop off of your seat in the risers. 

As you near him you can make out his features more distinctly, the sharp curve of his jaw, the length of his under lashes, the pretty teal of his eyes… he��s stupidly handsome as always, and it makes you feel even more ticked off, though you do your best to suppress those thoughts.

“Hey, you.” You say with a smile, picking up his water bottle from the bench and tossing it his way as if practiced, and he catches it with ease, popping the cap off to take a drink, his eyes meeting yours.

To this day, you can’t tell if you hate making eye contact with him or if you adore it.

“...Hey.” He answers after swallowing, his gaze darting across your form.

You’re not entirely sure what he’s searching for, but you hope he doesn’t notice anything different in your demeanor. 

“I’d say you did good out there but I’d be lying if I implied I knew what I was looking for.” You say, in your usual slightly self-deprecating demeanor.

He scoffs, his eyes rolling slightly. “You don’t need to know anything, it’s me.”

Cocky bastard.

“That’s annoyingly cool of you to say.” You say with a small laugh. “I need to learn some one liners like that from you.”

“I wouldn’t bother trying.” He retorts, pushing his hair back in a move that nearly makes you choke on your saliva from how annoyingly good he looks before speaking again. “...how was your day?”

“Fine.” You answer almost too quickly, before pausing to elaborate.

“Just a regular day I mean, nothing extraordinary happened, unless you count the amount of times that I watched someone trip over that crack on the sidewalk.”

Rin furrows his brow. “What crack?”

“You haven’t seen it? It’s like right outside the window in homeroom, like right by the tree.”

“...is that what you’ve been paying attention to? Not the goddamn teacher?”

“Only sometimes! Besides, I’ve seen like five people almost eat shit, it’s entertaining in it’s own right.”

“You’re hopeless, this is the reason–”

You sigh. “Look, my grades are fine, I’m fine, let’s just move on instead of turning this into another stupid “see this is why you should focus more” speeches.”

He tilts his head at you, squinting like you’ve grown two heads, and you feel both annoyed and weirdly vulnerable under his analytical gaze. 

“What?” You ask, almost defensively.

“You…” He says with a small frown. “What’s wrong with you?”

You laugh, though it sounds more like a scoff, and this time it’s more out of a sense of disbelief. “Wow, okay, rude. Do you want my therapist’s notes or something, jackass?”

Immediately after the words leave your mouth you feel yourself regretting them. They’re juvenile, stupid and childish and you can feel your face grow warm. 

Great, you can’t even pretend right, what good are you?

His eyes narrow. “Maybe I do, maybe that’ll help me understand why you’re acting like–”

“Like a bitch?” You interrupt.

Oh gods. What are you doing? What is this?

He blinks at you, as if taken aback by your suggestion. “What the hell are you talking about?”

You close your mouth, feeling everything bubble up again inside you, the jealousy, the insecurities, the annoyance, the embarrassment, all of it is swirling inside you and suddenly it just feels like you’re choking on the weight of all of it, like it’s stuck in your throat.

It’s silent for a while, his hard gaze boring into you while you stand there, feeling like a complete idiot, chewing on your tongue while you try to find the will to speak. 

He sighs then, breaking the silence between the two of you before speaking again. “...talk to me.”

And you do. You do want to talk to him, whether it’s to brush him off, or to open up, anything would be fine, you just want to speak. But you can’t. 

There are too many thoughts, too many things piling up, but you just need to speak, just speak, speak–

He furrows his brow at the continued silence. “...if you have a problem, tell me, but if you’re just going to be childish and give me the silent treatment then this conversation is over.”

Childish? You’re not childish, you just can’t talk, it’s not your fault– 

Is it?

Is it your fault? 

Gods who are you kidding, of course it’s your fault, you can’t even fucking talk how pathetic is that? No wonder he’s looking at other girls you can barely even hold a goddamn conversation, not to mention, she’s so pretty and you’re not– maybe if you could just write some words down– but fucking hell you’re so childish, he’s right, you’re not ready for a relationship– all you have to do is say something– he must fucking hate you–

It’s only when you have to take a breath that you remember where you are, and Rin is staring at you with a look you haven’t seen before. 

Shocked maybe? 

But you don’t think you’ve done anything shocking, until you feel a warm tear roll down your face.

Ah shoot. You’re actually a moron, you’re crying. In front of him.

Come on, raise your hand, wipe away your tears, you’re fine. 

Move your fucking hand.

Move.

Just do something. Don’t just stand there.

You take a breath, wiping away your tears with your hand.

Good. Now speak.

“...” You part your lips shakily to speak. “I–”

A sob escapes your lips and you slap your hand over your mouth and turn away from him, letting the tears just stream down your face.

“Shit.” Rin says softly from behind you, and you distantly think that if you were watching from an outsider's perspective that this would be hilarious.

Okay, stop, calm down, breathe. You’re fine.

You let out another muffled sob as your breathing runs ragged.

Okay, no, you’re not fine.

“(Name).” Rin says, in a tone so soft you’re almost taken by surprise, and you can feel his presence behind you, closer than before.

He places his hand on your shoulder and gently turns you back to face him, and you notice through watery eyes that his water bottle is back on the bench. You’re not sure why you notice that, but you think it's because you can’t stand to make eye contact right now.

“Listen to me.” He murmurs, his voice soft yet firm. “Breathe slowly, in and out, okay?”

Right. You can do that. In and out.

It takes a few breaths, but eventually you manage to get to the point where your breathing is less rapid, and it’s then that you muster the courage to look him in the eyes again.

It’s a small relief to you that you don’t see any judgment in his eyes, just concern.

“...what’s wrong (Name)?”

It takes you a bit to respond, but you’re finally able to speak after you pull your hand from your mouth, looking at his water bottle again.

“...I’m… ashamed.” You say quietly, and the admission feels like you’re being stabbed in the gut.

“Ashamed?” Rin asks, furrowing his brow again. “Why are you ashamed?”

You don’t even want to begin to explain yourself, but you figure you might as well just get it over with. 

“... that girl, she confessed to you. I was jealous– I am jealous, and I feel stupid, because it’s embarrassing and I feel immature.”

He looks at you for a moment, really looks at you and then scoffs. 

“You’re…” He pauses and then looks at you, seemingly thinking better of his words before speaking again with a sigh. “...you’re too harsh on yourself.”

You simply shake your head. “No, it’s dumb, and I was mean to you and I was mean to that girl in my head and I shouldn’t have–”

“Then what about me?” He asks sharply.

“What?” You respond, looking back at him again, confusion taking over.

“I–” He starts before huffing out a breath, his cheeks turning pink as he looks away. “You think I’m any better? At least you have the decency to be ashamed.”

You blink, the quiet settling around you.

Well, thinking on it now, it’s not like you’re the only one who’s like that, you’re no stranger to how Rin methodically practices his skills everyday, the way his eyes narrow into a glare when he sees his brother on screen, how he scoffs at your best friend when she hugs you in greeting… he’s just as bad as you, isn’t he?

Obsessive.

Jealous.

“…we’re so silly, aren’t we?” You ask, breaking the silence between the two of you. “So intense all the time, so needlessly absorbed, too emotional… You’re everything I despise about myself, but I don’t hate you. Aren’t we so strange?”

Rin looks at you finally, a complicated look on his face, flickering through emotions.

“Speak for yourself. I’m perfectly logical.” He eventually retorts.

You actually laugh at that, though it definitely sounds weak and shaky even to your own ears.

“…stupid.” You say with a fond smile. “At least I can be honest with myself.”

You look at him for a moment.

“I like to think I’m good with words, at least when I’m not crying, but there���s so much I want to tell you that I can’t say in the way I want to… what on earth can I say to you?”

Rin looks at you, eyes boring into yours, but you can’t seem to find yourself to be intimidated this time. “Dumbass, you don’t need to say anything.”

You look at him, at his stupidly sweet soul that he tries to hide with harsh words, and let out a soft huff, uncharacteristically frustrated.

“…sometimes I want to hurt you, because you make me feel so much. I could rip you apart.”

Rin’s eyes widen, as if surprised by your words, and briefly you fear that you might have overstepped, before his eyes harden into a steely gaze.

“Idiot… you think you’re the only one who feels that way?”

You blink at his words, not expecting his response, much less how surprisingly honest it is. 

It’s… This is new.

You expect him to recoil from your words, from your emotions, from you. You expect him to leave. But his response, his understanding, it makes you so… emotional.

You take in a shaky breath, tearing up again.

His reaction to that is instantaneous, his eyes widening in shock, a flicker of regret in his gaze. A beat of silence lapses between you two before he speaks, his tone regretful.

“(Name)… I didn’t mean—”

“No.” You say immediately, though your voice is still shaky as you blink harshly.

“Don’t apologize. And don’t take it back.” You speak, your voice cracking. “I’m not scared. You get me, I get you… we’re a mess, but I’ll never find someone like you, and I don’t want to.”

You take a breath to steady yourself, before speaking again. 

“I’m gonna say something, and you don’t have to say it back.” You say, before speaking again, your voice soft but firm. “...I love you.”

You’re not sure what possessed you to say it, those words that have been lurking in you for so long, and you for a moment, seeing his startled face, you wonder if you might have scared him off, if you were moving too fast, or maybe–

“Dumbass.” He says with a soft scoff before cupping your face and pulling you into a kiss.

It’s always so tongue heavy with Rin, and you’ve had to coax him in the past to appreciate a sweet, chaste kiss every once in a while, but you find this time you don’t mind this time as he desperately presses his lips against yours.

It’s his own way of saying it back to you.

[velvetvexations]

Since we're talking about forcefem, here're most of the forcefem-related asks I've had in my inbox, some of which are a few days old on account of technically going in the vexatious tag if not exactly kink asks. I wanted to answer one from today on it's own which I'll get to later but I wanted to get to the older ones and also get to a few of the others from today while I was at it.

i just saw a post where a trans guy was showing some messages where someone was (unconsensually) basically roleplaying forcefemming him. despite him telling them that he did not want that and that it was very much transphobic, and he atill got a message boiling down to "you're not a man, silly, you're a girl :D" and. to be honest. this was the thing that stopped the brainworms of "what if the whole concept of transandrophobia is actually transmisogynistic and i am entirely wrong" bc at least some of these people will just say the most bog standard transphobic shit to trans guys and not register it as transphobia. so why the fuck would they be right about anything transmascs experience also on that note thank you for being so outspoken in favour of transmascs getting to discuss their oppression. it's really helpful to see trans women stand with us here, especially when it comes to aforementioned brainworms

congratulations to that transphobe for creating a new transandrobro

the 'forcemasc isnt revolutionary' shit is the most annoying iteration of stupid tumblr discourse. like im going through the tag trying to read some horny shit and oh look. theres someone being stupid and hypocritical. in my horny tag.

people are getting tribalist about kinks and it's depressing

Every time people are saying that trans men & mascs cannot possibly fathom being objectified & fetishized, I think on all of the posts I’ve seen that did that exact same thing. And yeah, some of it might have been kink, so no hate no judgement I dabble in that tag too, but I’ve also seen “get in the dress” type posts that seem to be genuinely calling for trans men to be more feminine, untagged & in the wild, enough where I’m like — am I just imagining this? Like am I crazy? Am I missing something, or was that extremely detailed post about why I MUST stay feminine — or become more — for someone else’s benefit being 100% serious? And, again — if it’s kink, all the power to them, I love that for them, I even occasionally love that for me. But I have encountered enough people who were dead serious that I sometimes want no one but trusted friends & advisors to ever witness me again. And then I look at statistics & feel genuinely ill. And yeah, I’m gnc — and there’s the rub, because while I feel genuine joy being fem as well as masc, I want it to be a Choice, not something forced upon me.

people need to be fucking normal

Yh like ik a lot of shitposts don't have any tags but people have. Really gotta tag forcefem. I've blocked a large amount of people making these jokes + filtered their names n I still see it

I'm sorry, anon. <3

Fuck thank you so much for talking so openly about forcemasc. I’m so dumb I thought there wasn’t a name for that kink that I’ve been into for years, albeit my version is way more weirder. It would be like a… forcemascfem??? Like first it’s forcemasc and then it turns into forcefem and then right back to forcemasc…. And then back to- Idk my gender is weird and my kinky fantasy for that is weird

Cross as many boundries as you want, that sounds rad. Forcefem has a lot of infrastructure to jump off of.

“I’m doing a kink in a non kink way so it’s not kink blog!” Sorry this pisses me off It’s still a kink. Like. If someone made an I-suggest-BDSM blog and tried to claim it wasn’t a kink blog I’m sure more people would see how silly this is but because it’s the transfem approved virtuous forcefem they just let it slide??? Like. You are engaging in a kink and thats fine. You can say there won’t be anything explicitly sexual! But it will still be a kink blog because it’s a blog about a kink! A kink blog if you will! It doesn’t matter if you’re not getting off to it, it’s still a kink! That you are participating in! On your blog about that kink!

It SHOULD piss you off! It's extremely fucking scummy!

what the hell? for like one solid minute(longer than that but i like saying it this way) all the forcefem on my dash was tagged and i could blissfully not have to see it every other post and then just today i had to unfollow a buncha people for an assload of untagged forcefem :/ like im transmasc i think its understandable that i do not wish to see that anyway hope your day is goin well miss velvet

yeah it's praxis to not tag kink anymore

trfs are perfectly aware what the "force" bit means when forcemasc comes up in conversation

strange how that works

[invader-reggie]

Unpopular opinion and maybe even controversial but I feel like most people really only hate EndHawks not because of the age gap like they say but because they just hate Endeavor. I think EndHawks would be less hated/more popular if Endeavor hadn't been such an asshole to his family. There are plenty of age gap ships like EndHawks but I've never seen people hate on it as viciously as they do with this. They just don't like that it's Endeavor.

The only real argument for EndHawks is the age gap.

DabiHawks isn't superior to EndHawks just because they're the same age or have a villain/hero dynamic.

I made this post because of the massive amount of EndHawks hate I've seen on Twitter especially by DabiHawks fans who claim EndHawks is a shitty ship and DabiHawks is better because "ew Endeavor is an abuser and ew age gap" and it's very difficult to enjoy EndHawks content without someone screaming about how much they hate the ship.

Realistically speaking, Dabi is more likely to abuse Hawks considering he is still a villain who has murdered plenty of people and having trauma doesn't mean he is a good person or that his actions can be excused. Dabi is drowning in his hate and isn't trying to move on or seek help. He only wants revenge. Dabi will not let go of his hate for Endeavor just because Hawks admires him and Hawks won't viciously hate or want to kill Endeavor just because Dabi hates him.

1) EndHawks is a proship because Hawks admired Endeavor as a kid so it's a father son dynamic.

That's wrong. That's based on your own opinions rather than actual fact. There's nothing wrong with seeing EndHawks as a father son relationship but it can also be interpreted as Hawks having a childhood crush on Endeavor and then developing real feelings for him after getting to know him as coworkers. Personally I don't see them having a father son dynamic, it feels like more of a co workers to friends relationship with an older man who's never made a joke in his life/younger man who annoys the older one into being his friend dynamic.

Their dynamic reminds me of the two guys from beyond evil with the older guy being a flirty conversationalist that everyone likes and the younger guy being a stoic, stick in the mud who's annoyed by the older one's antics. That ship is very well liked despite the age gap because of the chemistry and dynamic that they have.

2) Endeavor is an abuser and the ship is toxic

Also wrong. I mean Endeavor was definitely an abuser, but claiming he'd abuse Hawks is stupid. Endeavor's whole arc is him coming to terms with how much of a shitty person he is and attempting to atone for his mistakes. Also he and Hawks clearly have relationship development considering Endeavor lost his arm to save Hawks and the others so idk why people think he'd abuse him.

To add to that, canonically speaking, DabiHawks would be the toxic ship. Dabi very clearly burned Hawks and mutilated him in the show, they also don't trust each other (obviously), very obvious evidence pointing to this being a toxic ship whereas EndHawks being toxic is based on people's own opinions of Endeavor.

4) Hawks would hate Endeavor after knowing he's an abuser

He... doesn't. While we don't get much on Hawks' thoughts about this. He very clearly does not hate Endeavor. I believe it's because since he's been by Endeavor's side and gotten to know him, he's seen how Endeavor is trying to be a better person to his family, and from Hawks' pov, his own father never tried to be better, never tried to atone for his mistakes. For EndHawks, Hawks wouldn't leave Endeavor's side because he gets it. His own father never tried to be better, but Endeavor is trying for his family and Hawks believes that he's striving to be a better person than he was before. Also Hawks isn't a child, his entire view of Endeavor won't shatter just because he turned out to be not as good of a person as Hawks thought he would be (Like how a child's would). Hawks is an adult who understands that things aren't as black and white. Hawks has killed a person too, and has struggled with that. He's seen how Endeavor is struggling and his guilt over Dabi because of how he treated him as a child. So no Hawks doesn't hate Endeavor.

4) Age Gap

This is valid tbh. I respect people's opinion on this because actual age gaps like this isn't everyone's cup of tea. I enjoy age gaps. I enjoy mjjw from SFH (jongwoo is in his 20s and people headcanon moonjo to be in his 40s). I enjoy the ship from beyond evil which also has an obvious age gap (again the guy is in his 20s and the older one is atleast in his 40s). I enjoy EraserMight too (I love their dynamic). I simply enjoy age gaps where the younger is atleast 23+ and the older is below 50 (depends on the younger person's age tho cos if they're in their 30s then it's okay if the older person is around 50 to 60) I especially enjoy queer age gaps where the younger is absolutely feral for the older while the older one has a late sexuality crisis and/or struggles with their attraction because they believe the younger deserves someone their own age and shouldn't waste their life being with someone like them. But I get that not everyone enjoys that.

What's annoying is the people infantalising Hawks. Yeah he's young, but he's not a child nor is he a teenager. He's a 23 year old pro hero who is incredibly smart and works as a spy infiltrating the LOV. He's not a child. He is very clearly an adult and acts like an adult. Endeavor doesn't treat him like a child nor does Hawks treat him like a father. They very clearly grow to be friends and have a shippable dynamic (opposites attract, grumpy x sunshine, likes to annoy/pretends they're annoyed but actually don't mind it)

I also have rules on good age gaps which is

1] The older person has never known the younger person since they were a child.

2] The younger person is atleast 23+

3] They aren't established as a parent/child dynamic

EndHawks fits all three so while you can absolutely dislike EndHawks, just don't try to claim DabiHawks is "Better" and bother EndHawks shippers because no... no it isn't. You can absolutely ship DabiHawks because I believe in ship and let ship and also because ships don't have to be healthy or canonically make sense, but saying EndHawks is more toxic than DabiHawks is very laughable. Dabi and Hawks being around the same age means nothing and does not make them the "better" ship when EndHawks canonically have a healthier relationship with each other than DabiHawks ever will.

This isn't DabiHawks hate just to be clear. Personally I don't ship it because I prefer ShigaDabi/EndHawks more. Also because alot of DabiHawks fanfiction has Endeavor bashing (no redemption arc, no complexity, is just a complete asshole) and ooc Hawks (no Hawks would not plot to kill Endeavor/hate him just because Dabi gave his sob story, especially since Hawks has seen how Endeavor is trying).

If you dont agree then I'd love to hear your opinions on why EndHawks is a bad ship without the age gap reasoning.

[sunnysidesevenup]

I am having Arlo/Neige thoughts again so. Here is some rambling and headcanons about their relationship!!!

tagging!! @jadelover69 @kirexa @lallopsyou @miriaocs @jovieinramshackle

- Arlo is originally only interested in photography but after talking with Neige so often, he ends up getting into film making. However all of his films end up weirdly sad at first and make Neige cry so he has to ban him from watching them lmao. Eventually he starts making happier things!!

- once they’re adults Neige ends up getting Arlo to do most of his photo shoots, mostly because Arlo prioritizes him being comfortable and happy and other people tend to not really care about his opinions as much.

- they go to the movies literally so often. so many movie nights. Neige is the BIGGEST fan and it’s infectious. they watch stuff and then talk about it for hours afterwards.

- when they first start dating Arlo is initially really nervous about coming off as too intense, and Neige IMMEDIATELY dispels that fear by buying him a bouquet of flowers for three dates in a row.

- they share clothes a lot, and Vil is SO MAD every time he has to see Neige’s sweater 😭

- previously thought to be incapable of hating anyone, Neige hates Arlo’s entire immediate family lmao

- following up on Neige thinking it would be fun to play a villain, he expresses this to Arlo once who says he can’t really picture him like that and would be interested to see if he could pull it off. Cue Neige jokingly acting out a villain character and Arlo immediately becoming so flustered he can’t speak. (He likes every version of Neige, but this one was just unexpected, okay?!)

- Arlo only takes photos of his own volition if he thinks things are beautiful, which usually means he never takes photos of people unless he’s asked to for a job. He doesn’t try to hide this, either.

- Neige invites him out to see cherry blossom trees at some point, and while he’s looking at them he hears a click and turns to see Arlo taking a picture of him. “Sorry, I just wanted to.” Arlo doesn’t realize it’s actually a big deal at first until Neige gets really flustered and happy about it.

- Neige gets asked in an interview once who his ideal partner would be, to which he answers “someone charming, sweet, and passionate!” Arlo immediately breaks a vase in pomefiore and then picks a fight with a third year lmao

- while NRC students tend to get pretty angry and chase out RSA students when they visit, Neige can visit all he wants because he’s with Arlo (who has a reputation similar to the Leech twins, just with a different vibe)

- Occasionally, when Vil is particularly annoyed, he’ll drag along Arlo to his joint shoots in hope that it will distract Neige. This works but also frequently backfires, because Neige then puts in extra effort.

- Neige is VERY public and vocal about how much he loves his boyfriend once they start dating (with Arlo’s permission, of course). He posts a ridiculous amount of pictures with the two of them, and nearly every time he has to talk in an interview he somehow manages to mention how much he loves Arlo 😭

- Arlo definitely cried over this a few times. He goes from never believing anyone at all will love him to having a partner who literally tells every single person at any opportunity how much he cares for him. It takes him a while to process it’s real.

- Despite no one thinking he would be, Arlo is a very, VERY supportive partner. Neige tells him about a charity or cause he’s trying to raise funds for and you KNOW he’s going to stand menacingly behind his boyfriend and glare at anyone who thinks the charity is pointless or stupid. You WILL donate.

- Neige now has scary dog privilege but the scary dog is actually the tiniest piranha merman ever. rip my boy for being 5’2. (He can still bite with razor sharp teeth with force 30 times his body weight though, so like. run?)

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

Dear @ sugarpasteltmnt

Your fanfic "The Neon Void" GIVES ME SUCH LIFE FJKHDSKFJHDKJF

I found this fanfic from a comic that I saw, and I instantly started reading it! I genuinely couldnt stop reading, and I stayed up really late several times just to read it XD

LEO IS SO FREAKING SILLY IN THIS. I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I also want to give him a very very big hug, and never let him go >:3

Actually, I want to give everyone in this fic a big hug, THEY ALL FREAKING DESERVE IT GOSH

The way Leo and Donnie interacts in this fanfic breaks my heart and then mends my heart back up again in all the best ways. The disaster twins have forever been my favorite duo, so seeing them in such a hurt/comfort setting?? It was so perfect that I would constantly have to stop reading for a bit just so that I could comprehend the amazingness I just read XD

The Neon Void is also the longest fanfic I've ever read! I'm honestly not even that surprised that I managed to read the whole thing with how amazing it is! XD

I love every single chapter in this fanfic, and its definitely my favorite fanfic for anything ever!! Its so well written, the characters are perfectly written, the story is fabulous, LEO BEING SILLY, THE ANGST, THE HURT/COMFORT, THE EVERYTHING AUGHHHHH-

And I genuinely cried at it a few times too XD just...the way they're all written feels exactly like how they are in the show, it really does feel like them! SO WHEN THEY SUFFER I SUFFER TOO /lh

I dont think I will ever find a fanfic this good, because its just SO PERFECT RAHHHH

I love this fic to moon and back, and I can tell my family are starting to get annoyed with me talking about it so much XD

I WILL GUSH ABOUT HOW AMAZING AND FABULOUS AND WONDERFUL THIS FANFIC IS FOR HOURS AND HOURS ON END IF ANYONE WILL LISTEN TO ME. I WILL RECITE THE ENTIRE DANG THING IF SOMEONE ASKS ME TO. THEY WILL KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS AMAZING FANFIC AND THAT I HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY IT REACHING EVERY CORNER OF MY BRAIN.

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS MASTERPIECE!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

@sugarpasteltmnt

Christmas Kindness Event Post

[artdcnaldson]

merry christmas eve daddy cat…

1. you’re the only one who i’ll allow to hate ts…. ❤️

2. thinking about boy bsf!artrick…. AS USAUAL……………… but specifically like. how they always just. saw you as one of the guys. like not even on purpose but they never even #looked at you that way…….. you always had to hear about all their escapades with girls… all their gross jokes… had to put up with all their teasing etc… ……

but then maybe. u guys come back from summer break maybe senior year or something…… and it’s like. one of the first summers in a long time u don’t spend with them bc idk why. ANYWAYS. u come back from summer break and immediately go to find them… and they’re so 😨😨😨😨 bc. you’re all grown up. this is the first time they really see you as a #girl and not just their dumb best friend they like to annoy and gross out. sigh.

we’ve discussed this before methinks but it’s so……………

-🩰

THANK U BBY <3333 also… I WILL be answering ur Christmas-y ask you sent a while back I promise!!

But yeah… god. The first year you start dressing like you care about what you’re supposed to look like. In cute little hollister and Abercrombie outfits you went shopping with your cousin to pick out. Wearing little denim mini skirts and lacy tanks to dorm parties. Making them late because now you’re actually spending time to do your makeup and hair <3 you open the door to your dorm with pretty shiny lipgloss and warm vanilla body spray, body glitter making your skin glow in the Christmas lights that someone hung up in the forms to set the vibe.

But what can they do about it? They’re your friends, they can’t just creep. Besides, neither of them really has dibs on you. It would kill them if the other got you first though…

[shoyastars]

My Christmas Star

—————————————————————————————————————

A Binary Star Hero fanfic special, happy holidays everyone, I hope you have an amazing Christmas.

Now, for starters.

I am not the creator of Binary Star Hero nor am I the creator of Ray, these world all with the characters belong to Concreteparasite.

If you haven’t checked out the game I suggest you do so. However keep in mind that it is strictly for adults. Which also means this should also count as the same, the fandom is strictly not for minors, 18+ only.

Now, let’s begin.

—————————————————————————————————————

Ray never spent Christmas with anyone, and after some time away from family, you didn’t ether for some time.

Since Christmas was around the corner, you decided to give him a gift he won’t ever forget. You could get him a store bought gift, however handmade seems more thoughtful, or even just a day together seems more precious to him. So what would count in his eyes as a good gift?

The sound of the door snapped you out of your thoughts.

‘Strange… doesn’t he work longer hours during this time?’

“Ray?”

“Hey star.”

He gone over and kissed your cheek, you were still wondering why he’s home early.

“Don’t you work longer hours during this time?”

“Well yeah, strangely… they’re letting me have a break..”

A break? The NAHA allowed him to actually relax? Confusing as it was, you knew this could be used to possibly figure out what to make for him or what he thinks is a good gift.

“Well as suspicious as it is… I guess they finally realized you needed a break. So what do you plan on doing with this time off?”

“Hm, maybe spend as much time with you. That’s a great enough time consumer for me.”

“I don’t know if I’m ether flattered or insulted.”

You went to go get a mug to make some hot chocolate, while pouting. You felt Ray’s arms wrap around you for a gentle hug.

“Ether way, I’m glad to spend as much time with you as I can.”

You felt your heart beating in your ears along with your face heating up. How does he always manage to fluster you so easily? You were glad he enjoyed being with you. Even if he was taking a break from being Binary Star. That’s when the idea came to mind, he really does want to spend time with you every chance he gets, however you were human, so that still meant you couldn’t be with him 24/7, but what if you gave him a reminder of how much you miss him during work?

Thank god you both agreed reading your mind needs to stop. Otherwise the surprise would’ve been ruined.

The day out on the town was also a day you decide to secretly get some supplies for your gift for Ray, the snow was also falling and the chatter of people going Christmas shopping for the holiday filled the air. It was always busy this time of year, though a bit annoying, you can understand the reason being they wanted to get something nice for their family or friends. You made sure to keep the supplies stashed in your bag, you didn’t originally know how you were going to get it but you did. When Ray asked you why you were acting strange, you waved it off as just the cold season messing with you. Why did he believe it? You have no idea.

Sometimes you worried that he was going to discover the gift before you were done with it. You made sure to hide it from him what he came in the room or heard him coming. It was a bit hard to do so since he would suspect something, however it was only a few times and you still have a bunch of excuses before you run out.

When you were finally done it was the night before Christmas Eve, you smiled at your hard work, took some YouTube tutorials and some struggles but you were satisfied with the outcome. You couldn’t wait to give it to him, you put it in a small box for now since you were still hiding for him till Christmas Day comes. You look at your phone after doing so and see a part of town in the latest article. You thought you might as well take Ray with you to go see it.

“This late?”

You nod as Ray asked.

“Better late than never.”

“Uh… alright.”

Walking down the street you two were hand in hand, you were mostly leading the way. Ray smiled at your excitement to go see something.

“What exactly are we-“

“Look over here!”

The lights of the area brought a warm feeling as you saw how well the Christmas decorations were, you were so lucky they weren’t so far away from where you two were. The sight gave a nostalgic feeling to it. Ray noticed how happy seeing the sight, he had to admit it looked well decorated. You look at Ray and smiled as seemed to like them too. Your hand in his gripping onto it once more.

“I’m glad I get to spend my Christmas with you.”

Ray’s face though from the cold you spotted him with a bit of pink on his cheeks, he smiled afterwards.

“I’m glad I can spend my Christmas with my one and only Star.”

Ray hugged you as the lights glowed brightly. The warmth in the moment during the cold season felt ever so nice. The smile upon your face evident as you leaned into the hug. A Christmas worth spending together, and a New Year that will start with the two of you together. You couldn’t ask for anything more. The Best Christmas gift you could ever ask for.

The day you woke up for Christmas Eve you decided to check on the gift.

Only for it to be missing. You panicked, you searched for it frantically, where could it be?! Not here, not there! Where did it go???

You heard the door, you gone towards the door, it was Ray. He went out? He probably needed to get something.

“Hey Ray, how-“

He’s wearing the scarf you made him… did he find the other thing in there?

“What’s with the face?”

“The scarf… it’s-“

At first he didn’t get it.

“Said it would be more cold out today, thought I’d look for something to help keep me warm, i hope you don’t mind I borrow it if it’s yours.”

You felt like that surprise was ruined up until you saw the handmade bracelet you made for him. That’s when you realized, this mother fucker…

“You son of a bitch..”

“Oh, so you finally realized I couldn’t wait for your secret surprise for me?”

“YOU ASSHOLE I THOUGHT IT WAS RUINED!”

“I couldn’t help myself.”

You pouted, as he laughed a bit.

“I might have accidentally read your mind yesterday, however I couldn’t wait till Christmas. Anything handmade from you will always count as a gift any day.”

You blushed as he then kissed your forehead, he liked the gift. He really did like the gift.

“I wasn’t sure about mine until I saw your gift, I’m not as good as you were but… here.”

He handed you your gift, and you opened it, a pair of gloves and a bracelet. Guess you both had the same idea except different winter wear.

“I always want to spend time with you, however I thought the other way around, I thought just a box of gloves was silly, and bracelet was nothing. Until I heard your thoughts and looked at your gift. Made me feel better about it.”

“I love it.”

“Huh?”

“I love them both. Thank you.”

You hugged Ray as you set the box aside, who would’ve thought such small things for each other as a good gift at the same time. Turned out to be the best gift ever.

“Best Christmas ever.”

“Haha, agreed. Best Christmas Ever.”

You spent Christmas Day together, in each other’s company. Definitely the best Christmas you’ve had in a long time.

—————————————————————————————————————

Merry Christmas to all and to all a lovely new year!

✨🎄✨

[acupofinkedblood]

Banhammer x reader

TW: NSFW headcanons

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

• Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me that this guy isn’t a top as well as a hard dom. If one day you hear him saying that he is willing to switch the dynamic for once, that’s not him being sober at all, because his ego is too far within the reach to the point that if we jump from his ego to his IQ, we would be hospitalized because of how impactful the fall was. Banhammer will rather bite his own tongue than thinking what will turn out if he’s a sub, let alone a bottom. He will be damned if he says that out loud to you. And it’s almost engraved in his mind that he is more cut out to be the one in charge, so there is no argument in that aspect sweetheart

• Banhammer, as expected, is quite the size to deal with. As if his appearance didn’t make it obvious to you that he’s a big guy. You know that you’re in for a ride full of surprises when the two of you get into it. To say that Banhammer isn’t the kinky type is actually not that accurate, but when we drag him over to the scale with other certain demons that is probably far more off the ground than him, you can tell that he is there somewhere in the middle ‘having sex’ tier but also pretty close to the ‘fucking wild’ tier. You get what I mean by that, don’t you?

• Definitely enjoys the size difference between the two of you. Heck, I mean it when he is big in both aspects. Seeing you so small in physique compared to him brings that shit-eating grin on his face. Just the thought of if he towers over you completely, everyone can only see his back without knowing that you’re also there. It feeds his ego, you know that. On side note, he has two specific tones of voice: His normal voice and his warden voice. The warden voice is more threatening and harsher, even a grunt of his in that tone is enough to make anyone stops on sight. He likes to use that on you, basically commanding you around like he is using his authority against you. Seeing you fold that quick when his voice suddenly drops just make him want to go further to see how long can you stand it

• Also enjoys handcuffing you behind your back as if you’re a criminal, in which he also enjoys holding the chain of the cuffs to drag you close to him without giving you time to react that he’s right after you. Blindfolding you is also there on the list. It makes things more interesting because you will have no idea where is he going to touch you next. Beside, you know his teeth are sharp, right? He absolutely loves marking you up in the most visible spot ever to show everyone around that you belong to him. Good luck covering it up in hot weather though, because I can assure you that he doesn’t play around when making sure that you’re completely covered in hickeys and love bites

• In certain cases when he’s in his office — although you know it’s mostly for show, he doesn’t even touch paperwork in the slightest after all — after a chase with a certain criminal that keeps slipping away and testing his patience almost every single damn time, he might get a bit pent up in annoyance. If you’re there to rile him up, he isn’t opposed the idea of taking you right there and right now on his working desk. The audacity he has to shoo his subordinates when they knock onto the door for permission with a somewhat normal shout while pounding into you, it’s so annoying yet questionably hot

• He doubts that you can handle him fully, although he won’t say it aloud in front of you. As much as it’s in his nature to be hasty, he still knows how to keep his pace steadily slow so that he won’t hurt you. Slow, but the roughness is still present there. Most of the time is you riding him after all. He knows exactly where is that sweet spot that will make you see the star and just keep going deep against it over and over again in a pace that will satisfy the both of you. A head up for you specifically though: He can’t really keep tab on whether or not is he being too rough or not, so you gotta tell him if it’s too much for you to handle

• Not too keen on oral when it comes to receiving, if I dare say. However, when it’s about him pleasing you, that’s another story. His tongue is pretty thick, yet he knows how to use the right way to make you scream in bliss by some unknown reasons. He enjoys eating you out as foreplay, and he is damn good at it. And by that logic, sit on his face. He loves that shit

• Do I have to remind you how much of a bastard he is? Even when he isn’t annoying you in purpose for attention, do you think he will make it any easier when he’s having sex with you? Lowkey into degrading you slightly as well, so that’s just the deadly combination that exits in him. This asshole will make you beg for him to give you what you want. Unless he is in the mood to have mercy on you, you’re stuck with that damn attitude of his

• Isn’t it that clear on how much endurance he has after seeing him dragging that gigantic hammer of his around to send criminals right into their cells without breaking a sweat? Guess that’s a blessing that comes with being a demi-deity. He can and will wreck you until you pass out if you allow him to. If he doesn’t have anything else important enough on his working schedule the day after, then I hope you’re ready for what he brings to the table. Walking right away after it isn’t recommended, you will fall almost immediately. Just saying

• Despite being such a dick most of the time, he knows that you will probably be — more or less — spent like hell afterwards. Banhammer will be less mouthy than usual when he’s finished with you. He’ll check up on you physically first to see if everything is fine before running a bath for the two of you. Then he will ask how are you holding up, do you need anything else after this, is there anything you wanna tell him. He’s fine with feedback, don’t worry about it. Compliments are almost a must as well, he won’t hesitate to tell you how great you have been and how much he loves you. Even when it might be corny as hell hearing it from him, but hey, that’s a rare moment when he isn’t being an asshole, so savor it

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

[danzinora-switch]

Bit of an odd question for you, but I can see you have more knowledge of RotTMNT than I do. Do you think Donnie lets people help him/be with him in the lab? I've seen it claimed in a few fics but I don't know how validated it is by "canon".

Oooh, it depends.

The best canon argument #1 is Mikey. In 'Bullhop', while they're talking to Bullhop while standing in Donnie's lab, there's a lot of orange cloth/clothes/fabric lying about, suggesting that it might be Mikey's stuff.

Mikey also assisted Donnie in building Todd's entire Puppy Sanctuary in 'Repo Mantis' - technically outside the lab, but still a large engineering project.

There's a dozen little details that imply how close those two are, working on various projects, schemes, etc. throughout the show. One of the most on-the-nose scenes that Mikey is the Igor to Donnie's Dr. Frankenstein actually comes from a script page shared by Ron Corcillo on Twitter for 'Gourd Almighty' (one of the axed-by-Nickelodeon episodes).

Mikey was totally in on whatever Donnie was working on.

So Mikey: definitely allowed to hang out and help out.

The second person would seem to be April, due to a lot of their shared projects. In 'Donnie vs Witch-Town' they scroll through a history of science projects they've worked on together. In 'The Purple Jacket' not only does Donnie help her out with her coding project at school, but he actively encourages her to use his tech. When she's flying the jetpack asking how it works, he replies "everyone's got their own style, just do what feels natural." I bank a LOT on this line: if everyone's got their own style, that implies that more people than just Donnie have at least used the jetpack. In fact, in 'Endgame' we see Leo riding one like a surfboard.

This segues into the general crux of Donnie's work: the VAST majority of his tech is not just for himself, but for others. The Turtle Tank features a chair specifically to Raph's lumbar settings, and motorcycles for Leo and Mikey. 'Donnie's Gifts' as an episode features presents backfiring spectacularly, but still shows him making tech for his bros. Shelldon is first presented as a gift for all of them, to help around the lair. Donnie is proud to present his tech and for people to use it. (What he doesn't like is for people to MISuse it; such as his brothers altering Shelldon, Splinter stealing the Turtle Tank, and Bullhop making a ruckus throughout his lab).

That, in my opinion, is the core distinction of Donnie allowing someone to help him out in the lab: that they are there to actually help, and not just be annoying.

In 'Mind Meld', when Donnie makes his brothers just like him, he is ecstatic at first, declaring it the greatest day of his life. And he's pretty surprised and impressed with what they come up with in his lab.

So yeah, Mikey seems to be there a lot because he genuinely wants to help out, and Donnie's good with that. But how often does Leo want to help out in the lab with the work? Less often, and so we don't really see him outside of being annoying (Leo tends to pan Donnie's work a lot, from talking about his pattern of failures in 'Smart Lair' to actually clarifying he's not being sarcastic when he says he things the Shellhogs are amazing in 'Stuck on You'. This implies he doesn't care as much about the nerdy things Donnie gets up to, and we also know Leo to value the lazy way of doing things, per 'One Man's Junk'). What about Raph? In 'Stuck on You', while we don't exactly know how they all ended up in a giant glue ball, to some degree it was planned by Raph as a teambuilding exercise. Not his brightest idea as no one was really happy about that. And in 'Cloak and Swaggart' it is further implied that Donnie's aware of a bad trend between Raph and shiny red buttons.

And yet, given how much Donnie makes tech with them each individually in mind, if ever Leo and Raph wanted to help Donnie out in the lab with a project I can't see why he would refuse them. He would probably be delighted that they're taking an interest in his work (as he shines EVERY TIME someone does), and would find something for them to do that matches their skill level and accounts for their accident-prone tendencies.

Really, the only people we see thrown out of the lab are the ones posing a risk or problem to the projects inside: Bullhop, indelicately breaking everything. Splinter, high on Rat Fever in Ninja mode, loose inside. Even Mikey triggers an automatic defense when he speaks while Donnie is accessing their mint-condition Jupiter Jim comic in 'Jupiter Jim Ahoy!' - something Donnie built to protect a thing beloved by all of them.

Tl;dr: whether or not someone would be allowed to stay and/or help Donnie in the lab depends on what they're there for. Here to help? Awesome, welcome! Here to break things or just be annoying? Get out.

[princess-charlie-of-hell]

(Warning this post is going to be very anti Radioapple so don't read this if you like this pairing)

Are people seriously believing that Stolitz is a parallel to R*dioapple?!

Like I obviously can see the similarities from Lucifer and Stolas, both depressed fathers who are trying to connect with their daughters because they both are in complicated situations

But I don't really see how Alastor fits as Blitz as both of them are just different characters types in my eyes especially if their relationship with Lucifer and Stolas couldn't be more different

Stolas and Blitz know each other since their childhood and Blitz was Stolas first friend

Then they met later after Stolas is an arranged marriage with Stella then they later start their situation ship for the grimoure and I am not going to summarize their whole relationship because most probably know about it anyway

Then there is Lucifer and Alastor, both meet because of Charlie, from the start they hate each other and Alastor starts to act like Charlie's father just to annoy Lucifer then, I don't think anything more really happened between them except them fighting

Then there are also people who compare Lucilith with Stella and Stolas which honestly doesn't suprise me anymore because people seem to want an abusive Lilith so much so that Alastor can be Lucifer knight in charming armor so bad

But from what we know right now about the relationship between Lucifer and Lilith, it seems more to be the opposite of Stella's and Stolas

Stella and Stolas marriage was arranged from the start, there never was romantically interest in both Parties and they did it because they didn't had a choice really,Whereas Lucilith fell in love with each other because like in story at the beginning told us they both were dreamers, if anything you can see a slightly Resembles between Lucilith and Stolitz because in both situations a higher being fell in love with someone in lower position and their love caused trouble for them and just like Stolas, Lilith was in an forced marriage with Adam.

Lilith and Stella also can't really be compared to each other. Lilith, despite leaving for 7 years, seems to had before that a good relationship with Charlie that she despite seeing her mother not for years that she calls her when she needs emotional support like seen in the pilot. Despite not seeing much of the relationship between Stella and Octavia it seems like Stella was more a neglecting and maybe even emotional abusive parent like we seen in Sinsmas where we see drawings which Oktavia made as a child with only her and Stolas, Octavia also didn't really seemed to suprise how Stella acted while Stolas tried to call

Where Stolas hates deservingly Stella with a passion, we don't see that Lucifer has the same negative feelings towards Lilith and in the playbill it was said that he even misses his wife. It can of course be a possibility to miss an abusive partner but nothing we know yet about Lilith makes it seems like she was abusive towards Lucifer

I already said in an other post how the family pictures are differently from each other, the Morningstar family seems to be happy and comfortable with each other where in the goetia family Stolas and Octavia seemed happy because of each other, Stella looks like she thinks about murdering Stolas

So right now there is nothing which shows that Lilith and Stella have a similar personality and the only thing the both seem to have in common in my eyes is that both of them are hot (Sorry)

If it actually turns out that Lilith is like Stella then i still can't see Alastor being like Blitz in this situation if anything he would resemble more Andreaphlus. Both of them tried to manipulate The respective daughters for their advantage, Andreaphlus to get make Stolas feel terrible and Alastor for his own agenda

So right now I can't see how people say that the Stolitz and R*dioapple are similar if the dynamics and history between them is completely different

[dr-chosenberg]

Finally getting around to watching! I wasn't able to join this time around but we wanted you guys to get my opinions as well! I got a little burnt out so it’s not like a play by play on every episode but it’s some highlights of my thoughts.

Gds Favorite: 

Best Christmas truly brought us one of the most impactful frames in television history, I genuinely can't think of another show that so smoothly presents it's thesis with a silent still of a character. I think it should be studied by anyone looking to make a TV show. 

Blessed: 

I wholeheartedly agree with you on Gds Chef, it's an episode that kind of separates people who can really understand Moral Orel from people who don't. BWHHAHA I loved Sena spraying you guys with the Clanielle water bottle, it’s ok you guys do the same thing to me with Holy Visage, it takes a village XD 

Lords Prayer is such a fun episode, on the surface “moralton hates people who are different from them” seems like a redundant concept, not to mention the superficial divide that christianity can cause, it’s a similar concept to what was explored in elemental orel. But the dynamic between Orel and Christina is really the star of the show, I get the sense that she’s a little closer to the maliciously compliant sassy Orel we see later on. There’s the whole concept of girls maturing faster than boys that would really make a young girl cynical.

Turn the other cheek is another example of how talented the MO staff are, we see it all the time “oh i wish so and so would be miserable forever” “kys clay” but we already have catharsis given to us through an immature lens and it’s written in a funny way that moves the story along. 

Jesus: 

Loyalty is a good example I think of knowing the rules before you can break them, the hamfisted foreshadowing as you guys put it only adds to the humor because of it's absurdity while still moving along our understanding of the story. The "you're nice" boys would have bumped it up to Blessed for me, but I'm generous LOL I agree that Gd’s Image just doesn’t make it far enough to be blessed by the angels, it’s message is muddled at some points and can be pretty easily misconstrued at others. However, it is an all around solid episode outside of that. The interaction between the Figurellis and the Christiens is required watching to me. In general but also to understand the show’s attitude towards faith and the people who practice it, similar to Gds Visage. I’m glad you guys settled on Jesus would have laughed for elemental orel, it’s another episode that’s misunderstood by…fuck I sound like a rick and morty fan, but by people who the humor and writing style of the show just isn’t for. You’re not mad at the writers for making Orel scold someone doing an obviously good deed over going to church, you’re mad at christianity. 

Good: 

Good moments but not super memorable I think was the perfect way to define this tier, Omni's moment of showing just how small Bloberta's world is (dicing and slicing) is an all time quote that you can really sink your teeth in to. 

I don’t have to say much about Bartholomew. I just wanted to note that I agree the town seems incredibly flanderized. 

Satans: 

Wow I didn't know you guys were antisemetic /j 

My fellow Moralton professors know how annoying I am about this episode but you guys in the audience may not, I personally think Holy Visage gets a bad wrap in a similar way Gd's Chef does. I will concede, however, that it doesn't have that punch towards it's message that GC packs. I am also biased as grossout is usually a genre of things I love and I truly don't think it's that serious here, lol The reason, however, I say it gets a similar bad wrap to Gd's Chef is the erasure of the importance of Dr. Chosenbergs character, so I was very pleased to see you guys actually talk about the contents of his character. The good Drs faith is as important as Orels is to the show and to his character, maybe we can get in to that when we discuss the towns racism or something 

Genuises is so boring the only episode I actively skip

The concept of the main writers not writing an episode gets brought up a lot and I’d be interested in hearing how the main writers feel about those episodes, it gets a little tricky because these scenes and episodes are still IN the show and should be taken seriously as aspects of the characters we’re being presented. Not just in the realm of presents for Gd and not just in the context of you guys analyzing the show, I mean in general.

2 AND A HALF HOUR CHRISTMAS TIER LIST

[dykedvonte]

Reading MW takes on Twitter is like reading a summary of the Bible from someone who only watched like a Family Guy family special about it