#but i basically kept on the doom until near the very end this time

[rekkandevar]

good fucking god i love dorohedoro so much

[deathbxnny]

hello!! capitano, ororon and wriothesley with a teen!reader who is like firefly?

Male Genshin Characters with a Firefly!Teen!Reader | Capitano, Ororon, Wriothesley x Gn!Reader

Hello Anon!! Thank you very much for your request, and I hope you'll enjoy this!<33

Content: Platonic relationships, reader has a chronical illness, talks of potential death of reader, angst, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not proofread))

》CAPITANO

He knew firsthand how cruel the world can be, and you confirmed that for him more than anything else. You were a lively kid he had taken under his wing as a toddler, and even from a young age, he could tell that your health wasn't the best. It only got worse over time until you were left unable to walk or really move much on your own. But what truly broke his heart deep down was your will to live in the face of certain doom. Death wasn't an option in your mind, and you refused to let it take ahold of you.

Capitano, therefore, did his best to be as supportive as he can be. In a way, he sees you two as parallels of eachother, both cursed with a disease that's rotting you from the inside out and yet, here you were, still fighting for what you think is right. For a chance to live a life worth staying for. He knew he was too far gone, however, and therefore, just put all his energy in keeping you alive instead. He made sure you had the best doctors in all of Snezhnaya at your sides at all times.

And when you just wanted to take a moment with him to relax somewhere in peace, he'll grant you that wish as well. Capitano knows that realistically, your days are more than numbered... but if supporting you until the very end is what makes you feel better, then so be it.

》ORORON

You were a couple years younger than him and were taken in by him when he found you near dying on a dirt road. He initially wanted to give you to the village, but when you refused to leave him after he nurtured you back to health, he simply kept you in his home as a younger sibling. Citlali made sure to practically visit every other day to check up on you, however, as she doesn't entirely trust her grandson with your deteriorating health alone. She knew it was too much for even him and therefore made sure to teach him everything he knew. Especially when you stopped being able to walk. It was clear that Ororon was hurting with you and was deep down desperate too keep you alive one way or another, despite the grave situation.

But what pained him the most was the bright look in your eyes, even when you're in major agony. Your body was betraying your excitement for life. It was terrible, and yet, he didn't let you notice how bad he had it. If you were happy and content with him here when you took your last breath, then he had done everything he could have. And he'd make sure that exactly that would happen.

》WRIOTHESLEY

He wanted you to live a happy, free life ever since he heard about your diagnosis. Wriothesley had taken you under his wing when you arrived as a young preteen and basically treated you as his own. Sigewinne kept an eye on you at all times as well, practically being glued to your side as she monitors the progression of your illness very closely. The Duke knew, however, that you wouldn't live for long after you weren't able to walk anymore. Your body was giving you up, but he refused to do so himself. Seeing you so bright and optimistic despite everything just motivated him to do better too.

He'll try his best to make your time in the fortress as enjoyable as possible. He will share his tea, crack some jokes, and watch the ocean life through the glass with you. Anything for a smile and happy laugh. And even if you're too tired and sick for any of it, he'll still be there to support you in silence. He wants you to know that he'll be there until you do take your last breath... but also, he'll be there to carry you back to the surface above after you do so.

[tyranova]

A little bit of an explanation, a lot a bit of an apology.

For everyone who cares to see, this is a copy-and-paste of a post over on my Patreon (hyperlink should be to the post itself) that I finally decided to revitalize. This has taken me... Quite a long time to write, but it finally needed to be put out there.

That being said, the whole thing is under the cut, so that people don’t get a hugelarge post across their dashboard. Thank you for your time, thank you for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

So I wanted to start out by saying thank you to the people who supported me when you did, and thank you to the people who wanted to support me, and thank you to the people who still support me. When I received that support, it was at a time of my life when I needed it.

That being said, you might look at this post and wonder "So, Nova, why haven't you touched anything in over four years?" and to that I say... Well, I don't really have an excuse. I've got a couple of reasons, and you can take them or leave them, it is all ultimately up to you. I've been writing this for... Longer than I'd like to admit, wanting to get the words down just right.

Ultimately, there's a couple of very simple reasons for my absence.

Back in 2017, at the end of October, I ran away from home. I was living in an abusive household, and, with the help of a dear friend, I bit the bullet and just... Left. I gave live updates about my journey to what would be my new home, letting people know that I was still alive, and that I'd finally reached my goal: Freedom.

At the beginning of 2018, I moved out and into a shared apartment. I'd recently started up my YouTube channel I'd always wanted to start, and had tons of energy for creating content. I was brimming with ideas (even if I was limited by the resources I had access to), and wanted everything I put out to be the best that my unskilled hands could make it. I was learning as I went, and I kept trying my best, each and every video, to make it as great as I could. I had a job that I worked overnights at, and I felt like I had so much to do, all I had to do was put it into words. I was ambitious, and I felt like I could reach my ambition, and nothing could stop me. I created a Patreon! I had professional-level photo and video-editing software! I was on top of my own little world.

Then... The latter half of 2018 hit. I quit my job to work at a different place, with better conditions (even if it wasn't better pay,) so I could have more time to create. But, in August, a huge storm hit the area I live in, and I live in a basement apartment, so there were a lot of things that got ruined. It caused chaos in my life. I couldn't create any content anymore, because the areas I worked in were being blocked off by things because of my apartment's near mismanagement of repairs. There were constant notices, every week, "Be on the lookout for people coming between X and Y time on [Day when you're off work and can record]" wasn't really something I could work around. My work flow, mostly due to the OCD, required I be able to start on a project, and not stop until it was done. On top of this, I'd also recently been unable to go to therapy anymore, so things slowly started feeling like they were adding up.

By the way, it ended up taking them 10 months to finally fix everything that got damaged by the flooding, in case anyone was curious.

I'd started up a couple of YouTube series before I moved into my apartment. I was doing some indie games, and I had a Fallout 4 Let's Play going, because it's what I had access to. I attempted to do a blind playthrough of DOOM (2016), but the footage got corrupted. (Side note: Loved the game, may still play it for people and do a blind run of DOOM Eternal) I'd had a Minecraft Let's Play going, as well, because I loved the game, but I, simply put, wasn't putting that same love into my content. My last Fallout 4 episode was on July 22nd, 2018, and I hadn't done anything since. This was mostly due to the computer I was using for my basic video editing software ended up dying, and ironically the people who made the software discontinued it shortly around the time it died.

But I couldn't just leave people with... Nothing, that would be hurtful to both myself, and my audience. I attempted to do more livestreams, since it was easier for me to get the energy to stream a couple of hours, rather than record, edit, re-edit, possibly re-record, and output a more polished product than what I'd been doing. The livestreams went relatively well. I did Minecraft, because if and when (and there was a plan for a when) I went back to Fallout, I wanted to make it nice and polished. I'd done Minecraft streams before, what would be the difference?

And it was good. For a while. But ultimately, I lost my creative energy for it, and I felt my own performance getting worse and worse with each passing stream. The burnout was hitting, and it was hitting hard. But I kept trying to push through it, and, in the end, the burnout got the best of me. I just... Stopped it all together.

It was a situation that I'd hope that, if I ignored it, the problem would go away. The problem being: Lack of creative content (or content in general) and lack of energy to do anything. I felt that if I could just... Take some time without thinking about it, the content would come back to me.

The end of 2019 came with a new job, and the start of 2020 came with leaving said job. They apparently were only hiring seasonal work, and were a lot flexible on hours than they said they'd be, so I took the simplest solution and left, telling myself I could find something else quick. 

And then the beginning of the pandemic hit.

It was hard to find work. And, due to some fuckery that happened when I quit my first job, I couldn't collect unemployment (which hit extra hard when the pandemic started.) The majority of 2018 I'd had to rely on people to help support me, same thing for 2019, and 2020 was shaping up to be the same. I got a job at the end of 2020 that lasted for a couple of months before an altercation between me and another coworker (that they initiated) led to me leaving (I wasn't asked, I just didn't want to cause any further ruckus.) 

By this point, I hadn't had posted any form of content in almost a year, I was quiet on every form of social media, and the burnout, anxiety, and paranoia were extreme. I kept telling myself I just needed to get back on my feet, just needed to stabilize, and I could get back to living my dreams. It's only sensible for people to want to live their best lives, I told myself, and I just needed to be able to get the things (I've had a list on PCPartPicker for years that I've been trying to build to get back into streaming/recording, as well as peripherals on an Amazon wishlist that I've been staring at for ages.)

The majority of 2021 passed by without much. No job offers, no callbacks, not even a rejection letter. Nothing. But in September of 2021, a friend of mine told me that his kitchen was hiring dishwashers, and so I said "Fuck it, it's work, and they're paying decently, let's try it."

And it was honestly one of the best jobs I've had ever. It was good pay, full time, and slowly over time my duties shifted away from dishwashing to doing prep work and cleaning, something I was much more apt to do. I had enough money to pay my bills and do fun stuff every so often, and started saving up a bit of money so I could finally achieve my dreams.

In January of 2022, however, I started feeling under the weather. I'd been sluggish, coughing a lot, and slowly just felt my energy draining harder than it had up until that point. Turns out, at some point, I'd caught Covid. Now, At that point I was fully vaccinated, so it wasn't nearly as bad as it could be, I told myself. And then I was sick for six weeks, and was constantly feeling like death after the second. I do know it would've been a lot worse, with my case, had I not been vaccinated, but it was still unfortunate. I didn't have insurance (because it was still way too much to be taken out of each paycheck by my employer, so I didn't want to risk it,) and I'd actually just spent money right before it hit, so I was flat broke for two weeks. Over the course of those six weeks, however, I received a total of two weeks of payment (when I was told I'd be getting Covid pay for all six weeks), went through constant tests to see if I would make a recovery. My life had fallen apart with regards to income and socially, and ultimately, long Covid would kick my ass. I never was able to really fully recover, and as a result, my hours were cut, and I was ultimately laid off after 11 months of employment there (even if it was only 9 and a half of actual working).

After this last job, however, something just... Felt different. I didn't feel despair as I had from every other job I'd gained and lost over the years. Sure, I've been depressed the last month or so I was unemployed, but it wasn't the same soul-crushing depression that I've been feeling the last few years. I resolved to take care of myself better, at the very least, than I had in each of my depression slumps before, and it's... It's been a lot more manageable than previous years. Still depressed, still unemployed, still (unfortunately) having to ask for favors just to get by, but this time it just... Hits different.

But after my life's story over the last five years has been spilled, with my 24th birthday right around the corner, I just wanted to say... Thank you. Thank you to everyone who did support me when they did, and thank you to everyone who supports me now. I'm truly, truly sorry for (what I feel like, at least) was betraying people's trusts, and I don't know what else to say besides that.

Lately I've been working on actually, officially writing the story I've been wanting to write for years. Actually over 13 years at this point. It's something I've been trying to convince my brain to do, and I've slowly come to realize you can't... Force these things. That's been the big theme of this massive depressive episode, I suppose, is that you can't force anything to happen. I've also got some video ideas I've been writing down and getting things together for them, to try to do, because they're fun, challenging, and I think that people would have fun watching them. I'm not going to say dates for anything, because I don't want to promise people something and ultimately end up not being able to deliver on time. I'm trying, this time around, to not force anything that doesn't want to be made to be made, just need to let the creative process happen when it happens, so I don't get overwhelmed and burnt out again. I want to make sure that if I make something, if it isn't a rough draft, it's as good as I can make it in the moment I make it.

That being said, some keen eyes may have noticed a lot of content went missing from my YouTube channel. Don't worry, the content isn't deleted, it's just... Not up to my standards, so I privated the videos. They're an important part of my journey, even if it's a low point, but I want to try to improve so I can show people how much I've (hopefully) grown. I at least put effort into my Fallout videos, so I kept that together, and a few other fun videos along the way I was personally proud of when they happened. They may not be the best content by any means, but I was at least proud with what I could make when I made it.

Along with this post, there will be the rough draft of the first chapter of the story I'm working on available to anyone and everyone, so they can see it as like a preview of what I've been up to recently. In the meantime, like I said I've also got some videos I'm working on that I've been testing things for that I feel like can turn out to be really fun content, so we'll see about that when the time comes. Hell, I even started a Ko-Fi (that I also have no idea how to use) in case people want to do something over there.

People may also notice that there is now only one tier: The "Pay What You Want" tier, starting at $1. For the time being, this is the one and only tier I have on Patreon. I want to make sure I can consistently put out content for people before committing to more (as well as getting more ideas for more varied content for people for various tiers, though it may only stay with the one tier until I decide to either pull the plug or go harder into Patreon things.) This phase of my life is all about taking things at my own pace so I can make good, quality content (or as good, quality content as I can) for everyone. If that means I can put out multiple videos in a week, then I put out multiple videos in a week. If it takes months, it takes months.

By no means is anyone required to monetarily support me, I know I've given virtually nothing these last few years, but I want to try to change that, and if people decide "Hey, I like your content, can I do anything about it?" then I'm simply going to direct them to here and Ko-Fi until I can get YouTube back on track, and Twitch, as well, and go from there.

One step at a time, we will make it there.

I'm working on cleaning up a lot of things, and for the first time in a very long time, I've felt like I can get things back on track.

Once again, a huge thank you to my friends and people who have helped support me over the years, though I haven't done anything I've felt like deserved it. You've been amazing to me, and I wouldn't be here without you.

And, as always, I'll see you all in the next one!

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

How about a future! tord/ red leader x reader where the reader is basically the motherfucking doom slayer/ doomguy and heads out to the red army base with nothing but their own fists and some shotgun bullets and ends up almost killing most of the red army soldiers and when they finally come across tord/ red leader he's honestly surprised that reader was in his base and single handedly demolished his army and tord being tord thinking he can take them down all by himself goes for it however reader basically the doom slayer aka their unstoppable and bodies him and tears tords robot arm in the process and when reader is done beating his ask up they ask him this...

"Why did you betray my friends?"

"Why did you betray me?"

And tord gives them the answer but it's also a pathetic ass one because he honestly didn't know what to say. And reader just leaves with the final line being "I can't believe i used to be in love with you" and tords be cryin because that realization crushed him.

I've never seen any Doomslayer gameplay so sry if I get anything wrong gjshgs

.............

As a massacre ensued outside of his chambers, Tord sighed in annoyance. He wasn't scared. Only annoyed.

"Those guys had one job: protect Red Leader at all costs. And they go and screw it up..just great." He sneered to himself, while Paul and Patryck stood by the entrance with their weapons ready.

Neither of them wanted to risk their lives, knowing the intruder was probably going to take theirs in a heartbeat. But what choice did they have?

Every day their life was on the line. They were used to that feeling.

Yet not knowing what kind of enemy was making their fellow soldiers scream bloody murder made them..a bit uneasy. Not to mention this person reportedly destroyed all of the base's tanks with a single punch.

How could they defend themselves with this knowledge?

What would happen if they failed?

"If..a-anything should happen," Paul began as he glanced back at his leader. "It's been an honor serving you, Tor-"

"Until you take your last breath, you will address me as Red Leader only. Got it?"

The Dutch man froze in terror, though Patryk answered in his steed with a simple "yes, Red Leader". But before he could turn to chastise his comrade, something slammed against the door, leaving a massive dent.

They both stiffened and aimed their weapons, while Tord watched from his desk warily.

'Who could it be?' He pondered, trying to narrow down the list of possible intruders. 'Not Edd..he's too obsessed with that worthless cola crap. Not Tom..he's stupid, but not that stupid to attack my base all alone. And certainly not Matt..he can't even handle a little blood on his coat.'

The door was being attacked more forcefully, as though the intruder was punching it. And eventually it broke down completely, causing Paul and Patryk to immediately shoot with vicious war cries, not caring who it was.

But suddenly Paul yelled in pain as a bullet struck his shin, sending him collapsing to the ground. "Paul!" Patryk rushed to his side, helping him up.

"Jeez..Tord still kept you guys around, huh?"

When the dust cleared, the Red Leader finally recognized that voice and face:

It was you, clad in an armored suit.

"[Y/n]? Ahaha...long time no see!" He laughed, opening his arms up as you stepped fully into the room. "My, that's quite a suit you have there. Where'd you find something like that?"

"Up your ass." You sneered, before glancing at his two bodyguards. "Out. Now." Aiming your shotgun as a warning seemed highly effective, as the pair scrambled to their feet and left you and Tord alone.

"Whatever, they were both cowards anyways." He scoffed.

"Cowards who were smart enough to leave. Now.." You turned back to him. "We have some things to talk about."

"Oh? Is that why you killed my men and smashed my tanks? Those were expensive, you know.."

"Well they wouldn't let me just walk in-"

All of the sudden, Tord's robot arm shot out a laser beam from the palm, which you dodged as it struck the nearby wall. You scowled at him. "Tord, stop it. I'm not here to kill you."

"You're no fun, [y/n]. I wanna see what you got!" He grinned wickedly. "Besides, if all you wanted was talk..then you should've asked me out on a date instead!"

Something about his last statement made your heart ache inside, but that only fueled your rage as you lunged at him. He was foolish enough to think he could beat you on his own, becoming swiftly outmatched in a matter of seconds.

You rammed him into the wall with your full body. In retaliation he tried shooting another laser at you, only for you to grab his robot arm and manifest a bladed weapon, slashing it clean off like an amputation.

He yelled in pain and shock, falling to his knees the moment you backed off. Sparks and wires trickled from the shoulder joint as he gripped it, gritting his teeth.

"Now do you wanna talk?" You coldly asked, still holding the arm. Deep down, it hurt you to do this to someone you once befriended, someone you once....cared deeply for.

But his own damn pride had to get in the way.

How many times has that gotten him hurt?

"I-I'd rather...." He then hesitated, seeing the slightly disappointed look in your eyes, before he finally gave in. "Ugh, fine. We'll talk."

"After all these years, I never got to ask you..." You knelt down to get closer to him. "Why did you betray our friends? Why did you betray me?"

".....pfft..is that what this is all about? What I did to your little neighborhood oh so long ago?" Tord shook his head. "You know, the whole "world domination" shtick was only a stupid thing I made up on the spot. I honestly just wanted my robot back."

"So..that's all that mattered to you, huh? Just a robot? You didn't even care about the fact you destroyed Edd's home. It was all just storage space for your stupid tech, wasn't it?"

"Oh I..." Now you were backing him into a corner, forcing him to confront his own feelings about how he truly felt that day.

"We used to look for treasure, fight zombies, hang out at the arcade..what ever happened to that? What ever happened to...us, Tord?" The more you spoke, the more hopeless you sounded as Tord only stared back at you blankly.

"..you all forgot about me. That's what happened."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, that's..what it is." He clenched his remaining fist. "When I left, none of you bothered to check on me. A simple "hey Tord, old pal, how's the Red Army going for you?" would've been fine. You could've called, texted...hell even sent a pigeon my way! But no. All I got was silence, as if I was never there."

Then he glanced up at you with a malicious grin. "So I wanted to make sure none of you forgot about me...even if you hated me after the fact. And I see that's worked quite well."

"....bullshit."

"Eh?" He raised an eyebrow, perplexed.

"Maybe the others haven't tried, but I did. I tried my best to contact you..but you never responded. So I find that pathetic excuse hard to believe."

He felt his heart sink into his stomach. But in all honesty..he just didn't know what to say to you. He couldn't come up with any other reason for his actions.

You sighed, seeing that you've officially stunned him into silence. Even though you weren't satisfied with his answer, you could tell his expression held deep regret and...even sadness as he realized you never did betray him.

And there was only one reason why you bothered to reach out to him at all.

"Seems like..we're done here. I don't wanna kill you, but I don't want you talking to me until you grow up and throw aside your goddamn ego."

"[Y/n], I..I just-" Tord flinched as you tossed the robot arm near him, though he made no move to pick it up, only staring at you in shock.

You just picked up your shotgun, looking down at him with a slight frown. "I can't believe I used to be in love with you."

With that, you swiftly turned around, not wanting to see his expression as you left the room. You knew that he needed time to think things through.

Only when you were gone did the crushing realization finally hit Tord. Those words you spoke were true, and drove a knife deep into his heart, twisting its very core.

He could feel his throat tighten as hot tears welled up in his eyes. Not just from the pain of losing his arm, but from a far worse kind of pain.

The pain of knowing that he truly did love you..only to betray you in the end.

Curling up against the wall, tears streamed down his cheeks as quiet sobs echoed through the empty, battle-torn room.

There was no one else to blame but himself for this.

[annmarcus63]

GIVE US TO HIM

Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion

Warning: this might hurt a little

on ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/34157128

Grandma said once that to give away your raw score is forbidden.

"Your heart in it's full rawness, chaos, is a precious and dangerous thing. Never you should do something as giving it to someone else."

"But our ancestors used to do it. Look ma ¡look!" said Jaskier holding his story book on the air for grandma's tired eyes to see. A handsome knight was lying on the dry grass, dying from a wound on his stomach. He started calling for his love, an ancient fae with blond hair and fair skin. She fell upon the prairie from the charged clouds, with something shiny between her hands. The fae feed the wound with her raw core, her heart. The knight lived along side her, flying amongst the starry night, happily ever after. "This are just stories, Julian" said Grandma with contened anger in her dry voice. She took the book and close it on her thighs "Things were rarely like that. Knights and kings are more inclined to use our cores against us and other people. We can't recover from that loss" Julian look at the drawing on the coverbook, the fae was kneeled by a pond and the knight stood glorious in practically all the cover, leaving a very small space for the real hero, the one who save the life of the protagonist.

"Never give your raw core away. Stop reading these, THEY wrote this, Julian, you must be clever than her" said Grandma pointing at the beautiful fae. Julian nod, undesrtanding much more that he wanted to, and so little, so so little. Maybe that was the reason his family were hiding, they never express it in a literal way, that was the point really, but Julian notice anyway. The way, for example, of how they said their names and the rust taste that was left on the air after. It was common to hide their real names for fae, but you'd give that name knowing it's false, on the opposite when you say the false name thinking is the real one then another fae would know. Losing the self was something of a disease between the fae. Jaskier later knew that his parents have not choice but to lose themselves to save the lineage. Most fae really. Humans did that. Like they did to the elfes. Julian promise to never forget about the fae from his last storybook. He'll never forget about her sacrifice and the sacrifice of his people. But come on, after some years it was just naturally that, despite the wound on the history, a selfish creature he was and he forgot. He was raised as human, and he wanted to be a bard oh how he want it. And he did accomplish that, and a bloody good one that's for sure. Fae were extinct for all the world and that wasn't a cover, they're doomed to extinction sooner or later. It has been years since the last time Jaskier felt another fae being born. He is Jaskier troubadour, master of the seven liberal arts a mastermind amongst the crowds, a legend…an idiot most of the time basically.

What grandma failed to mention is that for a fae to be able to give their core away the recipient must be worthy at the eyes of the fae. Once this worthiness makes evident, that person would plant roots in the core itself, whether the fae want it or not. It's inevitable. Grandma should have said "be aware of where you place your heart. Hold it until you're fully sure of them" But well, it wouldn't have matter in the end. Jaskier have never being someone who follows advice, much less from his dead relative. It happened naturally, like breathing, eating and shitting. One moment he was standing next to Geralt under a pouring rain, the witcher kept looking for a missing girl on the edges of the woods, her parents place a bounty on the towns board, they couldn't offer payment in form of crowns but they're willing to let them sleep on the girl’s room. Jaskier became indignant, how a witcher is supposed to take a payless bounty? No, that is unacceptable. But despite the protesting bard and zero reward whatsoever Geralt went anyway, he look for a girl who surelly was already dead.

"I found her body near the cave by the pond. You can go for her by morning when it's safe. I'm sorry" after a minute of silence the parents with equal expression of cold sorrow release a heavy sigh charged with so much grief.

"What did it?" asked the father

"Nekkers. I got rid of the pack living there"

"Thank you, witcher. You and your bard can come in, i'm sure you're exhausted” Said the mother with great effort, like someone who can't breathe quite well.

Geralt rapidly added "No, I'm sure you and your husband need time to resign and mourn alone. My bard and i already had another place to stay" Eh, no they didn't.

"But...we don't have any crowns"

"I didn't do this for payment" And while the parents thanked infinitely to Geralt, Jaskier felt something wild and untamed surging from his chest. Reaching unabashed for the witcher with a big golden heart standing next to him, explaining to a mourning parents that he went to search for their lost daughter because he wanted to help. This new awareness of chaos, he knew what it was.

Chaos, core, raw.

And it had marked Geralt as his. We want him.

Give us to him. He's worthy.

He was doomed, so doomed from the very beginning since they encounter each other on Posada. Grandma tried to warn him of this. Oh grandma, you and i both know that I was never obedient or wise. So Jaskier let it happen, four years after knowing the witcher and his raw core already belong to him. But he didn't do it. He hold back despite the urgency on his chest because he wasn't sure it'll be welcome. Geralt was still trying to get rid of him in every town, sometimes Jaskier felt like a pet you don't want but you can't abandon it either. Surely there'd be a time in the future. And Jaskier wait and fell in love deeply with each passing year. And Geralt...well he was the same and also different in his own way, more at ease around him, softer maybe. Jaskier didn't need to be call a friend to felt like one to Geralt. They're friends, even if one part has being in denial for the past decade.

And then the djinn happened follow by the complicated affair with one Yennefer of Vandenberg. The curse caused the core to retreat afraid and wounded. He hurt us, he wished to hurt us. Jaskier argued with the voice that it wasn't his intention, he didn't even know he was the one with the wishes. In truth his heart shattered not for the wish but for the easiness in which the sorceress become someone important to Geralt, something to hold on to even if drowning. One decade and still Jaskier thinks he haven't reached that relationship level with his friend.

He doesn't want us

No.

"Uhmm?"

"What?"

"You said no"

"Oh, it's nothing" Geralt didn't ask again

But weak and in love he was, the raw core and him reached out again, with fully open arms for Geralt to pull. Jaskier long to belong to him, oh how he did.

Yennefer and her shining imbecile knight join the hunt and he was jealous because as soon as she appear the witcher was drooling as if she was all he needed to shut down the darkness inside.

Don't you know? inside me there's a full light waiting for you to hold

At the softness of the afternoon Jaskier found Geralt sitting on a rock lost, as usual, in though. But this time were different, he had failed three people, Borch's dead has left a wound that surely would scar badly. And the bard felt a deep sadness for his golden heart witcher. He's definitely blaming himself for the fall, for that narrow and insecure path alongside the mountain as if he was the one to build it.

Jaskier asked him to come with him to his home, to the coast, he yearn to be there with him and feel the sea wind on their faces while walking by a cliff near a quiet village that Geralt wouldn't mind to visit.

We want to be his.

Give us to him.

We can love him better.

But Geralt didn't want him, he wanted Yennefer.

He give himself to him anyway.

"Here" said Jaskier putting a hand on Geralt's thigh, surprise, instead of flinching away Geralt held Jaskier's hand and with most carefulness took what was inside the palm. A small glass vial, similar to the ones where he pours his potions. He held it on his gloved open hand. There was something inside, warm and inviting. White, almost yellow that make Geralt felt calm and safe.

"What's this?"

"A gift. It'd take care of you" Geralt frown at him, confused and uncertain of what it meant, but he took it with a barely there smile only for Jaskier to see.

He's a coward, he couldn't confessed him the reality of what it meant because he was terrified of being rejected, grandma said that a rejection is so devastating that it might kill him. And even at this point in their friendship Jaskier couldn't know for sure.

It's me. Take me, i'll protect and save you if needed to. Have me, please have me.

Geralt went that night at Yennefer's tent and Jaskier felt glad for not having told him the truth

"If life could give me a blessing it would be to take you off my hands"

No, no, not now.

They're doing fine.

And then very fast very suddenly Geralt reached for his breast pocket to held the vial of raw core on his fist and toss it unceremoniously to the hard soild.

The noise of shattered glass invaded Jaskier's ears before the heavy blankness surged from his chest to every corner of him.

“No, no, no” said he, giving a fumbling step towards the vial but deciding to turn around instead.

Away away away away.

He can't see me like this.

Something was tearing in fine lines caused by the trembling, an earthquake from his very bones that were fighting on maintaining their solid formation. Something inside was bawling with such and intensity that make his ears bleed.

Was this dying? let it be death for he can no longer take it. Does breathing always hurt this much? like if his lungs were filled with wool and the air only add heaviness on them. What was this? a beating heart, so afraid so betrayed, like a laugh from his ancestors. He wanted to throw up his intestines, they're on fire, but when he tried only saliva flood. He was not himself anymore, and to become whole was an impossibility that the pain was making sure off. Dirt get inside his mouth, his cheek on the ground was getting cut by rocks. A voice calling for him to react, to say something. But he no longer have a voice, he was death itself preparing for a long dream.

I’m sorry grandma.

I'm sorry, said to himself

and he remembered the blond fae on the cover book between grandma's hands, of how she give her life to save her love one, but who'd give their life for her?

who'd give their life for him?

He needed to sleep, right here on the mountain ground, to become whole again or at least half whole.

He begged for death instead.

[remnantoforario]

Remnant’s Top Ten Anime of 2020

2020 Was certainly a ride wasn’t it? To those that managed to make to make it through in one piece, or any piece, good job. Hopefully 2021 is better to us all. 

Despite the world mostly being on fire, I’d hazard to say that a lot of good shows came out in 2020 (despite a number of them being delayed to either later in the year or this year altogether). I meant to release this list much earlier, but I kept changing it around. 

Anyway, here are the ones I thought were the best. 

Honorable Mentions:

Dorohedoro

Synopsis: The plot centers on a man named Caiman and his search for his real identity after a transformation by a sorcerer left him with a reptile's head and no memory of his former life. 

Along with his friend Nikaido, he violently assaults sorcerers in the Hole, with the aim of taking their heads into his mouth, where a strange face will appear and confirm whether the sorcerer he has bitten onto was the one responsible for his transformation or not.

As the residents of the Hole, the En family and the Cross-Eyes gang, along with many others, collide with one another, the mystery of Caiman's identity begins to unravel, reigniting ancient grudges and threatening to forever change both the Hole and the sorcerers' world.

Thoughts: This is the only Netflix anime I watched this year (I missed out on Great Pretender before the year ended), and I can honestly say I had fun with this one. It’s animation was good, the story was engaging enough, and the characters were all unique (Noi best girl). The one problem I would say with the show is that it can come off as unfocused at times, meandering from one plaot point to another with no real connective tissue. 

Still a fun series though. 

ID: Invaded

Synopsis: The anime follows the investigations of Narihisago, a renowned detective now in prison, who is tasked with diving into the id wells of various serial killers. 

Two years prior to the current events, Narihisago's daughter Muku was brutally murdered by a serial killer, leading Narihisago's wife to commit suicide. These deaths prompted him to hunt down and murder the killer, earning him his prison sentence. He is still depressed and haunted by his wife and daughter's deaths, but also uses this as motivation to take his work seriously and help stop serial killers. 

Thoughts: One of a handful of original series that came out this year. This show gave me heavy Inception/Minority Report vibes from both its premise and presentation. It wobbles under the weight of its own concepts towards the end, but it still a fun ride nonetheless. 

Gleipnir 

Synopsis: The story centers on Shuichi Kagaya, a high school student with an unusual secret. He has the ability to transform into a monster resembling a giant dog mascot costume with a zipper down his back and a large cartoonish smile. After rescuing a strange girl, Claire Aoki, from a warehouse fire, they join each other to search for Claire's older sister, who is assumed to be responsible for the death of their parents.

Thoughts: When the initial rollout for this show began I admit I wasn’t really a fan. I thought it was just going to be a hyper violent, fanservice show. Now in some ways it is that, but if you really look Gleipnir tells a very interesting tale of identity and what it truly means to have a wish granted. The music was pretty good as well, and that’s really something from me as a person who doesn’t pay attention to soundtracks. 

Hope this show gets a season 2, but if not I’ll more than likely start the manga. 

Wandering Witch: The Journey of Elaina

Synopsis:  Fascinated by the stories of Niké, a witch who traveled around the world, Elaina aspires to take the same course. Her determination of studying books and magic leads to her becoming the youngest apprentice witch to pass the sorcery exam. 

However, when Elaina attempts to receive training in order to become a full-fledged witch, she is rejected due to her extraordinary talents until she finds Fran, the "Stardust Witch," whom accepts her. After earning her title, the "Ashen Witch," Elaina begins her exploration around the world, visiting and facing all kinds of people and places.

Thoughts: As a fan of the Light Novels, I was pretty excited when it was announced it was getting an anime. For the most part it didn’t disappoint. Though it skipped most of the stories in the novels, the show still told a few good stories that made for some amazingly animated tv. 

Talentless Nana

Synposis: In the near future, mysterious monsters known as the "Enemies of Humanity" begin to appear, and with it so do children with supernatural powers called the "Talented". To prepare them for the upcoming battle against these Enemies, all the Talented are sent to a school located on a deserted island, where they have all their daily needs provided for until they graduate and communication with the outside world is forbidden. 

One day, a new student named Nana Hiiragi arrives at the school. Her friendly and cheerful personality lets her quickly make friends with the class. However, with Nana comes a whole litany of mysterious occurrences on the island. 

Thoughts: I can’t say too much about Nana without spoiling it’s first episode twist, but I will say that its a pretty interesting show with a fairly compelling game of cat and mouse being played. 

Now on the the actual list:

10. The Misfit of Demon King Academy 

Synopsis: After 2,000 years of countless wars and strife, the demon king Anos Voldigoad made a deal with the human hero, Kanon, to sacrifice his own life to ensure peace could flourish. Reincarnating 2,000 years later, Anos finds that royal demons now harshly rule over lower class hybrid demons in a society that values Anos's pureblood descendants over the demons who interbred with other species, such as humans and spirits. 

Finding that magic as a whole has begun to decline and his descendants weaker as a result of the peace he created, Anos, now technically a hybrid himself, decides to reclaim his former title of Demon King, but first, he must graduate from the Demon King Academy where he is labeled a total misfit.

Thoughts: Originally I was going to put Nana in this spot, but its lack of a real ending pushed it out of the list. If only slightly. Misft at Demon Academy is just a fun ride from start to finish. There’s always something about shows with ridiculous OP protagonists (Overlord, One Punch Man, etc.) that gets the blood pumping. 

It’s like junk food. Great for the right moment, but not needed all the time. 

9. Ikebukuro West Gate Park

Synopsis:  A charismatic troubleshooter tries to keep the peace between warring factions while protecting his loved ones in Ikebukuro West Gate Park.

Thoughts: I honestly had no idea what to make of this show when I first saw the synopsis, but I gave it a try on a whim. I’m glad I did because this was easily the dark horse of the Fall season. I really liked the mostly self contained story format the series had, and there were a few very good episodes here. Check it out. 

8.  My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

Synopsis: Catarina Claes, the young daughter of a noble family, one day bumps her head and regains memories of her past life as an otaku. It is then that she realizes she has been reborn into the world of the otome game Fortune Lover, reincarnated as the game's villainess who, regardless of what route the player took in the original game, is doomed to be either killed or exiled. 

In order to avoid these routes that lead to doom, Catarina begins taking countermeasures to try and avoid things going the same way as the game. This, however, ends up having unexpected consequences on her relations with the other characters of the game's world.

Thoughts: Normally I’m not a fan of Reverse/Otome harem series, but somehow Bakarina managed to pull me in, to a good result. This show was easily one of the best comedies I watched this year with a good cast and a likable protagonist. 

7.  Deca-Dence 

Synopsis: In the fortress city of Deca-dence, the lowly Tanker girl, Natsume, dreams of becoming a Gear warrior following her father's death during a Gadoll attack. She is assigned to a maintenance team led by Kaburagi whom she discovers is more than he appears. Kaburagi has a secret role in eliminating "bugs", humans who threaten Solid Quake's operations. 

When Kaburagi discovers that Natsume is listed as dead in the company database, he decides to keep her under observation and offers to train her to fight.

Thoughts: Giant monsters and giant robots. What more do you need? Watch it. 

6. A Certain Scientific Railgun T

Synposis: The Daihasei Festival has begun, and that of course means that Tokiwadai Middle School—a prestigious all-girls' middle school—is competing too. Despite the participation of the "Ace of Tokiwadai," Mikoto Misaka, the other students who are participating are still putting their utmost effort into winning, no matter how impossible the feat may seem against her might. However, not all is fun and games. Due to the the festival, Academy City opens to the outside world, and various factions have begun plotting ways to infiltrate the city. Misaka appears to be on their radar, and as the festival proceeds, people lurking from the shadows begin to emerge...

Thoughts: Not really much to say here. It’s the third season of Railgun, but good thing here is that each season of Railgun is better than the last. Truly the best of the To Aru universe. 

5. BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense.

Synposis: Urged on by her friend, Kaede Honjō begins playing the VRMMORPG NewWorld Online under the name Maple. Not wanting to get hurt, Maple opts to be a shield user with maxed out defense stats, and continues putting every status point she earns in the game into increasing only her defense level. 

As a result, she is left with slow foot speed and no magic, but her high defense allows her to endure most hits without taking any damage. This, along with her basic-level creative thinking, allows for her to make unexpected accomplishments in the game, its quests and events. By doing this, she ends up earning all kinds of equally unexpected skills and becomes one of the strongest players in the game. Thoughts: Bofuri is another OP power fantasy like Demon King Academy, but with the twist of being fused with CGDCT. The cast is extremely likable (especially Maple) and when Silver Link wants to they can make the battles REALLY dynamic. A nice comfortable watch, which was sorely needed in 2020. 

4. Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle

Synposis: The story follows Princess Syalis, a young princess who was kidnapped by the demon king, and her quest to sleep well while imprisoned.

Thoughts: A simple premise for a not so simple story. Sleepy Princess for me was easily the best comedy of the year, with plenty of heart and action thrown in as well. I was wary of the series at first, thinking that the premise wouldnt be entertaining for more than a few episodes, but boy was I wrong. Each episode was funnier than the last and Doga Kobo pulled out all the stops to make it look as gorgeous as possible.  

3. Jujutsu Kaisen

Synopsis: Idly indulging in baseless paranormal activities with the Occult Club, high schooler Yuuji Itadori spends his days at either the clubroom or the hospital, where he visits his bedridden grandfather. However, this leisurely lifestyle soon takes a turn for the strange when he unknowingly encounters a cursed item. Triggering a chain of supernatural occurrences, Yuuji finds himself suddenly thrust into the world of Curses—dreadful beings formed from human malice and negativity—after swallowing the said item, revealed to be a finger belonging to the demon Sukuna Ryoumen, the "King of Curses." Yuuji experiences first-hand the threat these Curses pose to society as he discovers his own newfound powers. Introduced to the Tokyo Metropolitan Jujutsu Technical High School, he begins to walk down a path from which he cannot return—the path of a Jujutsu sorcerer.

Thoughts: Originally I wasn’t going to put this on the list, because the season doesnt conclude this year, but I decided to make an exception since the show started so strong. Many people were hyping this up as the next big shonen, and they were right. Mappa really went balls to the wall with this show and I’m pretty hype for what happens this cour. 

2. Akudama Drive

Synopsis: The bustling metropolis of Kansai, where cybernetic screens litter the neon landscape, may seem like a technological utopia at first glance. But in the dark alleys around the brightly-lit buildings, an unforgiving criminal underbelly still exists in the form of fugitives known as "Akudama." No stranger to these individuals, Kansai police begin the countdown to the public execution of an infamous Akudama "Cutthroat," guilty of killing 999 people. However, a mysterious message is sent to several elite Akudama, enlisting them to free Cutthroat for a substantial amount of money. An invisible hand seeks to gather these dangerous personas in one place, ensuring that the execution is well underway to becoming a full-blown bloodbath.  

Thoughts: Want to know what it would be like if Quentin Tarantino made an anime? Well here you go. An adrenaline filled rollercoaster ride from start to finish with a crazy cast of characters and even crazier visuals. There’s even a bit of social commentary in there if you squint. 

1. Oregairu Climax

Synopsis: Resolved to become a more independent person, Yukino Yukinoshita decides to smoothen things out with her parents, and the first step toward achieving that goal is to prove herself. As graduation draws closer for the third-year students, Iroha Isshiki—the president of the student council—requests a graduation prom in collaboration with the Volunteer Service Club. Yukino accepts this request of her own volition, hoping to use it as a chance to demonstrate her self-reliance, but what lies ahead of her may prove to be a hard hurdle to cross.

At the same time, a chance for the Volunteer Service Club members to better understand each other presents itself. And thus, Hachiman Hikigaya's hectic and bittersweet high school life begins to draw to a close.

Thoughts: The gif says it all really. I could just leave that there and end this list on a somewhat high note, but I’ll explain it. 

Now objectively, there were better shows than this one (off the top of my head JJK comes to mind) but when you combine all three seasons there is no contest in my mind that Oregairu had one of the most perfect endings to a series I have ever seen. 

It was an ending 7 years in the making. The first season in 2013 was good, the second season two years later was even better, but Climax was Oregairu at is absolute best and that goes beyond the story and characters. A lot of praise also has to go to Studio feel., who took over animation duties from Brain’s Base in season 2. While BB’s animation was much more accurate to the LN, feel’s more realistic designs fit the more mature direction the story was starting to go, giving the anime some of its best moments. 

Watching Hachiman, Yukino, and Yui grow and change from naive teenagers to somewhat understood young adults was amazing and sometimes heartbreaking to watch. Hachiman’s search to find something “genuine”, Yukino’s desire to be independent, and Yui struggling with her feelings of love and friendship all clash and compliment in very interesting ways that makes these three characters even more relatable than they were before. 

Lots of long running series don’t stick to landing, but in my eyes Oregairu stuck it perfectly. That’s why its my favorite anime of 2020.

Here’s to 2021. 

[oftenderweapons]

Mold Me New (1) – Taehyung

A Small Town Swoons story

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Wordcount: 3.2k

Genre: ceramic artist!Taehyung, divorced!reader, Strangers to Lovers, Fluff, Angst, Slice of Life

Rating: 18+ (for future smut and explicit thoughts)

Hello to my readers!!!  Welcome to the Small Town Swoons Universe! 🥰✨

In this episode: Introducing the reader’s backstory, exploring her life as a wife and then as a single woman who is slowly getting to know herself as an individual person.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: There are mild curse words, a bit of a sad vibe regarding falling out of love and getting a divorce, description of several bad dates and good ones that end badly, mention of getting drunk, mention of sex toys, mention of one night stand.

In case you like my writing, here is my directory for idol!AUs, scenarios and imagines, and in case you need it, here’s the Spotify music companion.

I forgot to mention, bc I’m dumb and bc we’re becoming one body with two souls, but this chapter (as most of the decent, edited things I post) was beta read by the magical @joheunsaram​ (she’s recently lost her previous blog and she’s rebuilding it, please go say something nice and YOU SHOULD FOLLOW HER SHE’S A QUEEN ,,,,, my queen 🥺✨)

Enjoy 💜✨

Navi: Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5 — Chapter 6 — Chapter 7 

When you fall in love with someone, the feeling is like entering a chocolaterie. The scent engulfs you, full and rich and sultry, igniting your senses, the heat making your skin glisten in a light sheen of perspiration, making you exceedingly vulnerable to pointless stuff, like the way your lover exhales. Or their hands skimming your arms.

At least, that was what your best friend had told you.

You had none of that. To you love was a daisy being twirled under your nose, sharing cotton candy, the smell of crisp apples, flannel sheets, the sound of dead leaves crackling under matching footsteps, a sturdy but shiny steel band around your finger suddenly substituted by a golden one.

That had been the beginning of the end. When practicality and simplicity had turned into conventionality and disinterest.

When gifts stopped being things you loved and became things he thought you loved. And then things everyone loved.

When love became a chore, that's when everything crumbled. When kisses became just a good morning and a welcome back, when there were no more laughs echoing in the kitchen, when leaves kept falling but it was your footsteps alone making them crackle, when flannel sheets kept feeling warm but still something was missing — because someone was missing — when suddenly there was no more time for fairs and cotton candy, when daisies became roses, Love stopped making sense. It stopped having a meaning for you.

You were no longer sure of the life you had built with the man of your dreams, the boy you had fallen in love with when you were eight, the guy who had walked with you across the corridors of your high school, who had made you twirl under the lame disco ball of your prom, who had gone through college finals with you, who had spent three summers making your hangout spot into a home, turning the small old shack into a proper place for you to build a new life together. He was your first kiss, your first valentine, your first time. He was the man at the end of the aisle, the man who would walk with you until the last of your days.

But one day he started running and you still walked.

Or maybe you were both running in different directions, no longer on the path to the same destination, your priorities somehow switched.

Of course, it wasn't his fault.

It wasn't yours either.

You had both participated in this small unraveling, and you had both expressed the intention of changing, of finding compromise, an in-between, without either of you actually making the effort of fixing your trajectory, small habits and old pet peeves pulling you even farther apart.

The attempts — multiple ones — were painstakingly embarrassing. There were tears on both sides as you wondered what had caused this sudden rift that separated you — except it wasn't sudden, only your realisation was; the crevasse had been there for way longer. Maybe it had started as a small chipping the very day you met him, and it wasn't until now that you realised how the small sign had turned into an ominous presence, and then into unfathomable, inevitable doom.

And then the divorce.

It had been disgustingly easy, both parties agreeing on the procedures.

You didn't want the house. And you didn't need it. He didn't either.

Selling it had been exceedingly painless, you had shared the money, since he wanted to offer you stability. He already knew you would both suffer and he didn't want you worrying about rent. He was still your friend, after all.

Going back to being alone scared you at the beginning, until you realised that few things were truly bothering you. At least there wasn't this ghost of a human making you doubt all of your plans. You could plan dinner five days ahead or improvise. You could go to the restaurant as a last minute deal. You could go on long walks without the 'I'm sorry baby, emergency' making you rush back to town.

It felt like a bit of a liberation.

And your family's bookshop was doing well enough, since it was situated near the college and it also offered printing service.

Of course there were bad days. Sometimes you woke up searching for a body beside yours, however that feeling had significantly subdued after you had gotten used to the new bed. You missed human contact, being close, intimate with someone, having someone who knows you that deeply.

And then the true nightmare.

Finding someone new.

You were genuinely uninterested in dating. You had given it a go and it had sufficed.

It wasn't your world.

How could it possibly be?

You had never dated. You had basically offered your heart to the person that has always owned it. It's not like you had any experience in that labyrinth that is dating. All those unspoken social norms and the pining and tension. You only knew the comfort of a warm hug, the beauty of a kiss sparking from innocence and affection and slowly turning into steady, warm passion. You didn't like infernos, you liked candles. You liked the domestic hearth. You liked moderation.

And dating was all about extremes, from strangers to 'I'm inspecting your throat' on date one. And then suddenly it's date three and the same guy who brought you to a pizza place and a diner is suddenly going out of his way to bring you to a pretentious, expensive restaurant as a way to propitiate the possibility of you dropping your panties.

You had allowed this foolery only three times. Apparently all the suitable suitors were either really prone to pushing the pedal or had a passion for tongue gastroscopies.

The first one, Albert, had been quite the gentleman on date one. On date two he started making inappropriate jokes with a heavy body shaming undertone — a bit cliché for the stereotypical gym rat. And on date three he had dropped all pretenses at politeness and had outright palmed your ass in public, which made you rightfully uncomfortable. As you pointed that out, he proceeded saying that after all it was your third date and it was time to loosen up a little.

You didn’t even bother staying for dinner, left a bill on the table and left.

No matter the first disappointment, you decided not to let that disrespectful fool slow you down. And since your best friend knew everything about rat headed number one, you allowed her to set you up with one of her colleagues after she reassured you he was nothing like the one before.

Except somehow he was. The first date was at the local pub, and you somehow found yourself getting along well, his jokes were funny and he had good timing, he was relaxed, confident but still a bit clumsy and shy. He could be a good candidate.

But that was before he pushed his tongue to your tonsils as he kissed goodbye.

You gagged.

On date two he admitted you weren’t exactly his type. You were glad to reciprocate the statement after he told you his dream was having four children and a farm, alluding to the fact that his bride needed to be the perfect housewife.

You were pretty adamant that was not the kind of future you wanted for yourself.

Candidate number three was a guy you had met while grocery shopping, and somehow he had impressed you in an absolutely positive way on date one and two. Everything had been perfect, he was kind, considerate and well-mannered. Date three had been innocent, simple, down-to-earth. And then date four. Perfect dinner at his place. He had made you swoon and he had a very pretty cat he was very affectionate with.

He was the first man you had felt desire for in a very long time — almost eight months after your divorce.

The sex had been decent for being a first time.

And then he had entirely disappeared and never texted or called you back, which didn’t sit entirely wrong with you. You wished him all the best but you were actually glad. You liked being you and doing your own thing: having someone too much down your neck, getting in a relationship, having to check in with another person again felt more like a burden than a win.

Maybe it was just a coping mechanism to avoid facing the fact that he had been someone you could have liked, someone you could have built something with.

You were a happy woman, and it’s not like you really felt lacking or incomplete, like some of your single friends felt. And you had no intention of starting a family anytime soon, no matter if your old high school classmates had begun popping out kids left and right. You were more than happy to live the teen and early-twenty years you had spent in a relationship.

You were getting to know yourself in a way most of your friends didn’t have time to — you could already see them going through a midlife crisis after their kids became old enough to navigate life by themselves, which meant no more need for overprotective, and sometimes borderline suffocating, mothers, who suddenly found themselves with too much free time and too little tasks to complete.

Knowing your needs made you a stronger, better woman, and solitude had gifted you a level of introspection and balance that you doubted they could ever reach; maybe that was an arrogant consideration, but you knew there was no way knowing and loving yourself would ever bring you to crying over disrespectful, ungrateful youth whose only fault was that of growing up out of their mothers’ plans.

Unfortunately, there was no way your family — especially your grandmother — could ever tolerate the idea of you not needing a man and a family to be happy.

“Oh, come on, isn’t it time for you to bring a nice fellow back home?”

You shook your head as you and your grandma took a walk along the river, the sunny March afternoon feeling way too nice to stay at home. “Granny. There’s no people like Grandad anymore.”

“Oh, darling. You’re starting with the wrong role model. Not even back in my days we had men like him. He was the exception.” She nodded to herself with a sweet smile, remembering the husband she had lost a few years back.

“It’s so frustrating. And after all that happened… You know how it was. We were together for years. He was the only one I had. I don’t even know how to do these things. And books cannot teach you stuff like that. The more you read, the more you realise that most of these men had never even seen a rom com.”

“Oh, come on, but you have the internet these days! Can’t you find him in there? You have all these phones and computers and everyone has them, there must be a good one in the internet.”

She always said that “in the internet”. Like it was a physical place.

“I don’t even want to look in there, Granny. There are so many dangers in there.” You shuddered as you thought at the funny instagram pages where the people posted screenshots of the worst descriptions. All the embarrassing playboys and the fishermen and the lame wanna-be poets.

“Right… How can you know he is really is a person?” She considered, patting your back proudly. “You’re pretty. And you’ve always had the most perfect bum of all your cousins. Just like mine!” She grinned cockily, giving a playful smack to your ass, making you laugh loudly.

“It won’t last long.” You said, looking down. Solitude scared you sometimes. Being old and alone could be hard on the spirit and you had a feeling that old hag you would curse your dumb arrogance and inconsideration. However, for now you were still somehow making it through. Your divorce was finalised almost ten months ago. You could still consider yourself just fresh out of it.

“You’re smart. And I’m sure you have a lot to offer. You’re a good woman, and you’re far from being too old. There’s never a thing such as too old. Don’t let yourself be fooled. Look at me.” She said. “I’m still living a good life. Herbert has left me but I’m still here. Walking. Cooking. Drizzle keeps me good company.” She smiled sweetly at the mention of her dog, a lovely large poodle elegantly strolling at her side, its light grey fur finely trimmed by your grandmother’s expert hands. She had been a hairdresser for decades: learning how to keep Drizzle’s coat had been a cup of tea for her and he’d kept her distracted from grief after your grandpa passed away.

Her face formed a meditative pout. “Maybe you should just get a dog. Or even better, a cat. You’ve always looked like a cat child to me. So quiet and focused, like you knew some secret that nature would speak to you alone. You were always so attentive as a child!”

You smiled and looked at the path under your feet. Drizzle stayed unbothered as a loud, angry dachshund walked towards him, barking annoyingly. You had never felt sympathy for that small evil breed.

“I think I could get a kitten one of these days. Or a cat, from the shelter.”

“I’m sure you’ll find it in the internet!”

“So we’re really doing the party thing?”

“Listen, baby. It’s gonna be your first party as a free woman. Real mind blowing birthday sex.”

“I’m not a virgin, you know?” You stared at your face in the mirror, spreading some moisturiser over your forehead, inspecting the small lines there. You shrugged and let them be.

Maybe you would spend your best years single and find a sugar baby in ten or twenty years. Wait, weren’t those called toy boys?

Who cares.

Maybe it was time to get the post-grad you had always dreamed of. You would need to check your bank account before making that decision — maybe finally telling yourself yes could be the real birthday gift. That is, beside the huge dildo waiting in your drawer. Not being attracted to men or women didn’t mean you didn’t like sex.

You just found it difficult to imagine being with someone.

“Darling I’d bet an arm and a leg he never gave it to your right. You just need a bit more experience.”

All you needed was a hot bath, some candles and a good book. No man, no one night stand, no birthday sex could possibly make you as happy as decent jazz, wine and a novel.

“Why aren’t we doing that wine tasting at the winery out of town?”

“Because I want you choking on cheap alcohol, having all the fun you didn’t have on your twenty-first birthday because you were planning your own wedding. And I bet you’re the only one who wasn’t fucked in the bathroom of the Wickhead.”

Terry could be incredibly crude, but you loved her nonetheless. You loved her even more for it. She had never hidden anything from you, she had told you even the most embarrassing details of her own life. And she had always been the kindest, most faithful friend: she had driven you way out of town when you were eighteen and your period was late and you needed to buy a pregnancy test without all everyone and their dog knowing; she had chosen your wedding dress for you, spotting it and telling you it was going to be the one before you could even see it. When your marriage had started crumbling, she had spent countless nights with you, keeping you company when your husband was busy with his business trips. Though Terry had insinuated cheating, you knew he would never break your trust like that, and she had decided to trust your better judgement.

You had simply fallen out of love with each other.

And when you had moved into your new apartment, Terry had helped you repaint the walls and build the extra bookcases and install the shelves and fill your wine stand. Before leaving she had grabbed an unfamiliar box from her car, placing it on top of your bed, opening it and spreading out a set of “single necessaire”, as she called it. A couple toys, lube, condoms. To celebrate your re-found sexual promiscuity, she had said, though you objected, it was hard rediscovering something you had never had.

She had shaken her head and left you to “familiarise” yourself with everything.

“You know I’m not exactly a party person, Terry. This will end badly.” You said, sitting on your bed with your back against the headboard, your legs stretched out before you.

“You can allow yourself some fun once in a decade, you know?” You could hear her scoff on the phone.

“But I do have fun. Book. Wine. Bingo!” You explained, rolling your eyes as the booed.

“Come on, do it for me. Do it for your single friend who wants to get drunk and possibly sixty-nine? Please?” The other thing wrong with Terry is that if you ever met her in person, you would face the sweetest five foot three and a half — she insisted on the half — human being you could ever meet, with pretty wavy blonde hair and wide, sweet green eyes, the most boopable button nose and a sprinkle of freckles on her golden skin. She literally glowed in sunlight and her flowy gowns always made her look like a goddess: you could see men fighting for her, dying for her and going to war for just one of her gentle smiles.

“Don’t you have a FWB for that sixty-nine thingie?” You asked with an exceedingly inquisitive tone. It had been a while since she last updated you.

“Dumped him.” She replied curtly.

You tutted before exhaling. Emotionally constipated people — what’s wrong with them?

“He’s dating someone since he was ready for a relationship.” Terry sounded a bit colder than usual.

“And you weren’t?” You asked. You felt your tone hesitate with slight concern. You knew she would just put up a wall and ignore your question.

Fortunately, she didn’t. “I’m not ready to talk about that. It’s complicated, Frog.”

She was hurt and wanted a distraction.

“Okay, Terry. We’re going to get rip roaring drunk this Saturday.”

The line went silent.

“You know I love you right?”

“I love you too, sweetie. Now go to sleep, you have an early shift tomorrow.”

The line went silent after you bid each other goodnight, your body settling underneath the sheets once you realised your eyes were fluttering shut  as you tried to read a few pages to put yourself to sleep.

Placing down the book, you hugged the extra pillow, settling your face in the corner between your sleeping pillow and your spare one, the heavy woolen comforter acting like a weighted blanket. You placed another pillow behind your back, making a soft cocoon all around you.

Yes, sometimes you still missed being hugged to sleep.

The taglist is open!

Navi: Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5 — Chapter 6 — Chapter 7

[eradicatetehnormal]

Rambling About Sk8 Infinity 'Cause I Just Caught Up

So yeah, when I initially watched it, literally my first reaction was "aw man, it looks like this show will have no real consequences for any of the main characters' actions, that's the typical shonen formula I guess." Then, as if a direct frick you to me, there WERE consequences. It didn't come from the reckless skating or beefing with scary competitors, no, it came from the person who's kinda the hero of the series, Langa, being TOO good at fulfilling his role and leaving Reki to feel left behind and like he can't match up to the rest of his comrades. Now this is resolved rather quickly within the span of 3 episodes, but what I think made it stand out to me was the way it was resolved and the perspective that this conflict was seen from. You see I think Reki's little mini arc here goes to show you the shonen hero from the perspective of his weaker companion. We've had stuff like this before but I think it's special here because 1.It shows the perspective of the weaker comrade and STAYS there. 2. Even when these characters get frustrated at their lack of strength, there's usually a scene where the protag will say some pseudo-inspirational garbage at this character. This is never genuinely done by the writers to empower the weaker character. It's done to make the hero stand out even more for being a nice person ON TOP of being a badass shonen hero. (man, aren't we getting the whole package...>:/ ) and the way the resolve this, isn't by having same "manly" fight scene where the weaker character tries to prove their worth or some sh*t, no, Reki and Langa talk it out after Reki remembered why he skates. And why wouldn't they be able to do that? They're friends :) It's moments like these that kinda almost make the show feel more like a Shoujo than a Shounen to me. Good series is good series, 7.7/10 to bullet point the things I didn't like -Langa isn't really shown to have any flaws or insecurites, it is only season 1 though

-the character design is low-key kinda weak. There's a reason why I keep comparing them to Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Kingdom Hearts characters, it's because their designs are super generic that you mix them with character designs from other anime and anime-like media in your head. Even with the designs I do like, Reki and Miya's, I feel like their silhouettes aren't that interesting. You can black them out and put them next to any spiky haired character (with reki) and any character with cat ears (with Miya), and they'd blend in together with all the other character if it weren't for those skateboards -creepy villian. Man with bad touch... (seriously though, why is the default for making a villian scarier, making them rapey? they did it with Sephiroth in ff7 and Scar from the lion king if you saw that deleted song...It's weird) Alright now lets's talk about the important thing here. The real reason I kept watching, and it's not the skateboarding scenes (though those are well directed). It's, T H E Y. Not even because of the ship, but because their relationship is just really cute, healthy, and just like wholesome my dude....BUT NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SHIPPING ASPECT SHALL WE?

wow, there's so much gay in these two, they could rid the world of heterosexuality with a doom impending glitter gay bomb lol. Seriously though, I knew everyone shipped them so I expected them to be extremely close and maybe have a little bit of not-straight implications. Shounen tends to have moments between its male characters that are very intimate and can be seen as romantic, regaurdless if that was the intention or not, but I didn't expect the implications to be THIS blatant. I feel like even the "dude-bros" had a hard time trying to keep it straight. From the very beginning they get along almost immediately and never really went through any real rivalry phase. Even when Reki avoided Langa and quit skating, it wasn't because of any bitter feelings towards Langa, but because he was getting insecure and felt like he couldn't stand to him. For most of the series, they continue to inspire each other throughout the series and become each others main motivations for waking up happy and just skating. One of the biggest examples is the scene where Reki races with ADAM and another being when Langa races with Kojiro. Even when Reki gets, dang-near molested and the race track and loses courage, it's Langa's words that reminded him of what he was fighting for and gets his head back in the game, even if he does end up losing. With Langa, it wasn't until he saw Reki's face and heard his voice from the crowd, did he start to feel passionate about winning the race, as his hearts not in skating, if he can do it with the person who got him into it (he really asked Reki if they could skate for infinity ah *cries*) (It kind of makes me wonder if the original manga writer wrote a bunch of BL before writing Sk8 and is stuck in this awkard phase were they are literally incapable of writing to male main characters who AREN'T into each other or if they are just going to make Reki and Langa a couple. I'm gonna guess it's the first one, because let's be real, when companies see that people ship a gay pairing, they WILL pander to the fraction that ships it shamelessly and then will never go through with it in the end. I'd be happy to be wrong here though.)

Aw yes, one more thing before I go. I like to think that these two scenes were meant to parallel each other:

uhhh Okay, so you can barely tell but these pictures are basically Reki, Langa, and Adam tangoing with each other on skateboards. I like to interpret as Langa being able to turn what has been seen to be spirit breaking for Reki into something positive, if only for a brief moment. A more intellectual queer could put the relationship between these 3 through a queer theory lens and say that they represent being in vs being out of the closet, a metphor for grooming, or perhaps even trying to reclaim your youth, but to be frank, my a** is not fat enough, nor is my brain big enough to be this person.

[caffiine]

A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS.  I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom  for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being”  but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back. 

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

 PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you. 

[agirlandhermonster]

Starter for @rulesxunbroken

30 days. One full moon cycle. Okay, yes, more accurately put, it would be 29.5 days, but Samira wasn’t about to split hairs about a measly 12 hours when her own soul hung in the balance.

Just a few years ago, she would have said that there was no such things as curses and demons and horrifying other realms where life wasn’t really life, it was just survival until death. But now? Now she was in possession of an Eldritch horror all her own, complete with tentacles and a host of strange side effects that came with living in symbiosis with said creature.

The demoness that had tricked her into this particular situation had come to Samira in her hour of need, when the girl was mere hours from the other side, offering her her life back if only Samira would fulfill a small favour. Thanks to the amount of medications pumping through her system, the hospital’s attempt to help ease the pain and pressure of her failing organs, she’d seen the frightening horned woman as nothing more than a near-death hallucination.

What harm could indulging a hallucination do? And hell, if she were real, then Samira would live to see 30, all for the low cost of giving what she assumed would be another demon a place to stay for a bit.

But we all know how deals with the devil tend to go, and so they went.

30 days.

For the first time since that fateful deal, Samira had found herself in the company of the demoness who’d tricked her into hosting the monster she’d come to call Poppy, and the woman almost wished she were still enjoying the calming effects of a truly ridiculous amount of morphine pumping through her veins, as it might have made the meeting slightly less terrifying.

It’s about time you fulfill your end of the deal, my little horror.

The monster in Samira’s head seemed to cringe. She couldn’t see it, but she felt it. But when she opened her mouth to try and ask just what was going on, it was Poppy that spoke through her.

Already? Poppy’s voice was Samira’s voice, accompanied by a lilt, high and low, like an echo. Samira prodded Poppy inwardly for answers but the monster paid her no mind.

You’ve had your time, now it’s my turn. You know what to do, and I expect you to do so, lest you find yourself in a far more unpleasant situation than the one in which I found you.

Poppy’s anxiety raised Samira’s heart rate, and yet the woman was still ignored. Poppy nodded with Samira’s head. And just like that, the demoness vanished.

30 days, Poppy told Samira afterwards. In 30 days they needed to be in a very specific place. Poppy wouldn’t say more, not until Samira threatened to heave herself under a bus.

Poppy needed to be somewhere far north by the end of the current moon cycle, and it was going to result in the death of their host. Terrified beyond reason, Samira panicked. But what could she really do? Poppy had agreed to complete a task that they wouldn’t explain in return for passage from the Lower Realms to the Middle Realms and the acquiring of a host so that they could survive.

From the visions that Poppy had shown Samira over the years, the woman couldn’t blame them for not wanting to return, much less get sent somewhere worse.

Searching for a way out, Samira was determined. There must be something. A new host? Doubtful. And Samira couldn’t stomach the idea of dooming someone else to her same fate just to save herself. Besides that, she’d formed a bond with her monster, despite the uncomfortable nature of their meeting.

But there was only 30 days, Poppy argued, and Samira shrugged it. A month wasn’t so bad. Surely they could find someone with the sort of power they needed in that time?

Samira liked to call herself an optimist, Poppy liked to call her naïve.

Either way, travel was necessary, though not cheap. The first part of their trip north (all the while searching for some sort of strange power that could possibly help the both of them) was taken by bus, all the way up the eastern coast from Florida on.

Upon reaching the border of New Jersey, they followed the strings of rumours that led them to a town rumoured to have been touched by an odd magic. Some said it was a demon, some said there was a portal to another world.

Samira and Poppy couldn’t confirm either, but as they traveled, there was a certain note of..something in the air. Static maybe. Or magic?

Don’t get your hopes up, Poppy commented in Samira’s mind as they entered the town that seemed to be at the center of it all. Doesn’t look like anyone has lived here for awhile.

Samira shrugged, walking steadily towards where the air felt thickest.

“It’s worth a shot”, she responded aloud. “Obviously something happened here.”

The houses were nice enough, and Samira could see this was probably once a fairly nice suburban neighborhood. Nothing look broken exactly, but there were some things that didn’t seem to belong. A brand new house with a car in front that looked new but from fifty years ago. A streetlight with an odd grayish hue. Just little things, but odd nonetheless.

There was an empty lot with just a few wooden planks and concrete blocks, like someone had given up on building a house an hour into the process. Beside it was the house that caught Samira and Poppy’s attention however, giving off an energy that seemed to swirl, and Poppy swore that it was gleaming, though Samira brushed it off as a trick of the light.

The front door wasn’t locked. Even if it had been, Samira had been participating in the borderline illegal activity of urban exploration long enough to know how to pick a basic lock.

Stepping into the home was like stepping into a museum. Everything was dark and dusty and felt stuck in time, but the energy moved almost like a breeze as she walked through the house, seeking the source of the unusual sensation.

Careful, Poppy warned as Samira approached what she assumed was a cellar door. This feels similar to her energy.

Samira suppressed a shudder and pushed the door open, throwing caution to the wind as was her habit.

Down into the darkness, she pulled the flashlight from the side pocket of her backpack, always in easy reach. The first section of the basement was normal, but as she kept going, following the string of energy she swore she was starting to become visible, the beginnings of greenery began to creep over the walls.

“This must stretch under more than a few houses”, Samira muttered as the size of the basement mystified her. The hallway stopped abruptly, expanding into a circular area with doors heading off in several directions.

I don’t like this, Poppy asserted. This doesn’t feel right. We should go.

Samira flashed an irritated expression to the room at large. “Well I don’t like the idea of not going for any chance I’ve got at surviving to see my next birthday.”

Poppy sulked in Samira’s mind, the miniature tentacle that resided in her mouth full time, Poppy’s connection to the physical world, lashing anxiously against the inside of her cheek.

Turning in place, each door got a good examination. They appeared rather average, as much as a door in the oddly large basement of a house in a damned ghost town could be anyway.

“This one has a weird light. Are you seeing this too?” Samira asked aloud, gesturing to a door that shone shades of red and purple at the edges, just enough that it was only noticeable if one were looking for it.

The monster remained silent, so Samira pressed on. Stepping towards the door, she reached out for the doorknob. It was warm in her palm, like somebody had just been holding onto it.

The moment she opened it, the world went silent. There hadn’t been any real noise a second ago, but still Samira somehow felt as if there was not just an absence of sound. There was Silence. On the other side of the door was what probably served as a storeroom of some sort, if all the crates stacked one atop the other were any indication.

“..okay?” Underwhelmed and vaguely disheartened, Samira sighed and closed the no-longer-shimmering door. But when she turned around, the entire presence of the area had changed. Walls and floors and doors were still all where they were meant to be, but there was new life in the air, and the greenery wasn’t limp, but lush and thriving and seemed almost like it was reaching out for her.

“What the hell?”

[ravinewreyn]

Siren’s Song

Rating: T Pairing: Hans/Elsa TW: Suicide Attempt

To be honest I was going through my file and found this, fixed some spelling and grammar as I read over it, and found out it’s basically finished but never posted for some reason

Anyway, here ya go

“What troubles you so, dear Prince?”

Coldness had stabbed him, piercing through his body and reaching into his very bones, as he had fallen into the dark waters, violent waves crashing against him and yet he had done nothing, not a single struggle had come from him even when he could swim, he was excellent at it, as expected from a man of the Navy. Instead, he let the water pulled him in, deep down where salt stung against his eyes and where his lungs burned from the lack of air as water had slowly replaced it.

The irony of it, to die in the one place where he found most comfort in, the one place where he could get away from his family and their poor treatment toward the youngest of the thirteen sons of the King, had almost made him laugh. Years he had served his kingdom and yet never once did his father had ever look at him without the disgust in his eyes, never once did his brothers ever treated him any differently than they did from the moment that he learned how to talk and walk.

“To wish to die this way?”

The strong picked on the weak, and despite his effort in turning the tables around, for him to escape his fate, he was starting to see that perhaps he was indeed the weak one in the family.

None of his brothers had faced the inner struggles that he had every single day, none had to fight their own mind to come out of their bedchamber, to resist the urge to hurt themselves as a method of relief from a pain he could not escape, to flee from the fate that he had been cursed to born into.

Death was the ultimate escape that he had chosen.

None would find his body, let it decay on the seabed until he was nothing but a skeleton to add to Mother Nature’s collection as his mind would finally be at peace. He no longer had to suffer, to live with the ridicule of everyone that known him, the feeling of belittlement that sat heavy on his shoulders, the ignorance his father so cruelly gave him, of every cut and bruise that his brothers had caused onto him.

Alluring voice that whispered beneath the surface as his body sunk deeper had originally thought to come from his own mind, or perhaps it was the angel of death welcoming him in it’s embrace, either way he only wished to get it over with.

Instead, his body had coughed the salt water back out as he found himself on the slippery black rocks, crashing waves filling his ears as he tried to blink away the sting in his eyes as he looked at his surrounding, to see who had been foolish enough to think that he was a man worth saving, to prevent him from what he had wanted for so long.

“Pitiful man.”

The wrist that he had grabbed had been slender, small in the grasp of his hand, and has a strange tingle as it struggled to be freed. Eyes following up the pale arm he had captured, he was met with a pair of large icy blue eyes staring at him through the drenched platinum blonde locks, the alarmed expression had been so clear as the woman’s body mostly remained underwater.

Her shoulders were bare, as if she did not have any sort of clothing to protect her from the chill of the night, soaked in water, and to protect her dignity from the wandering eyes of those who may see her. It should have been his warning that something had not been right.

Neither the snarl nor the barred sharp teeth could make his hold on her loosened, her slippery skin had almost escaped, yet his much stronger build had instead yanked her higher up onto the stone when he had pulled his hand away from the snap of her jaw out of instinct, and as for now she had most of her upper body laid out for him to see, bare as a newborn.

And yet, it was the flailing silvery blue tail that caught his attention the most, to where the pale of her skin faded into scales where her hips were, as she struggled to tug herself back into the water.

A mermaid.

“Ungrateful human!” Her sneer had sounded so ghastly, as if whispered into his ears and yet she was nowhere near his face, and yet it was still somewhat alluring, so… familiar.

“You saved my life.” Stories of her kind had never been a pleasant one, no matter how many people that thought that mermaids were a gentle and harmless creature, sailors such as he known better, had heard and sometimes even witness the horror that would happen should one encounter a mermaid. “Why?”

“Release me or I shall bite your hand off.”

“Do it.”

The challenge in his eyes had silenced the mermaid before him, or perhaps it was his sincerity that did, for he had no care for what his creature would do to him, even if he would end up as her supper for the night. At least then he has a little worth in his own self.

The sudden fill of his ears with the alluring and unknown tune that he had been hearing these past days had made his grasp loosened around the mermaid’s wrist, enough for her to escape from his hold, and yet once the sound of crashing waves replaced the song, she remained on the rock with him, wasting her chance of returning into the sea.

“It was you who sang.” The song he had heard every time he had gone to the beach each night as his way of escaping from his family, of their constant torment, if only for a moment, it had been luring him into walking toward the sea, and yet stopping when the water had merely reached his thighs and leaving him with nothing but soaked pants. “You have been watching me.”

“You did not drown yourself the first night like most.” He could have sworn, at that moment, that he had heard a slight frustration in her voice as she spoke. “Men who wish to die does not fall for the Siren’s Song.”

Then perhaps she saw him more of a food worth of toying around then, for if he had drowned then it would be far easier for her to eat him, there was no sailor that struggled against her grasp or one who dragged her up onto the rocks to convers.

“What is it that makes you become such man?”

“Why would a mermaid be curious over such thing?”

Her head tilted to a side, icy blue eyes narrowed as she watched him, and for once he let his own wandered over her, to the way her light hair hung around and over her face to the scales that shone as the pale moonlight reflected on them, to the webbed fingers of her hands.

“Why you let me live?”

“Your kind is awfully full of questions.”

“Speak for yourself.”

Her jaw tightened, for a moment he had thought that perhaps becoming the source of irritation was the best way to provoke her into killing him, to let him fulfill his destiny to perish in the sea, and yet she had only turned and let herself slipped back into the water, leaving him.

He did not wish to part away.

For he had chased after her just as the end of her tail disappeared from the surface, holding onto it just as she was about to swim away, the gesture prompting her to tug him close to her with another snarl of frustration, nails digging into his shoulders as she brought his head to break through the surface with a glare.

“I wish to die, mermaid. Let me.”

“Your despair sickens me.”

“Then kill me.” What had troubled this creature so much that it had made it difficult to do what she had done best? “Why didn’t you?”

“You reminded me of what I once was.”

“You were a human.”

“A queen.”

Stories of men and women cursed to dwell the sea for eternity was not as common as other tales, yet it was one of the theories people had come up with on how mermaids had existed in the first place, a curse or an ill fate none shall know.

Until now.

“Had the land-dwellers treated you as poorly then?”

She had the title many had fought for, where blood was spilled and families lost to a crown on their head. Had she been casted into the sea and doomed to haunt the waters or had she perhaps, in such twisted fate, suffer the way he did?

“I do not recall.”

It was said that mermaids had lived far longer than men, their existence under the sea could have witnessed more historical events than any human had, people just did not know. If that had been true then she may have born into one of the ancient kingdoms, one that even he did not know still stood or not.

“Then you should understand my desire to escape this world.”

As cowardly as it has sounded, for a man of rank like him to desire such end, he did not care. He was talking, pouring his heart out, to a mermaid.

He was losing his mind.

“And be cursed the way I did?”

“If that means I will be free, yes.”

“You would not.”

Her nails dug deeper as she brought him under, and this time, she swam deeper into the darker parts of the ocean. His lungs burned and his eyes stung, water went past his ears as she kept swimming.

His fate was sealed then, no matter how it ended, him turning into one of her kind or drowned and becoming her supper after all, he was not coming back into the world he despised the most.

And he was at peace.

[wetalkinboutbooks]

New Year, New Review 🤩

A Sky Beyond the Storm by Sabaa Tahir

Summary: The long-imprisoned jinn are on the attack, wreaking bloody havoc in villages and cities alike. But for the Nightbringer, vengeance on his human foes is just the beginning.

At his side, Commandant Keris Veturia declares herself Empress, and calls for the heads of any and all who defy her rule. At the top of the list? The Blood Shrike and her remaining family.

Laia of Serra, now allied with the Blood Shrike, struggles to recover from the loss of the two people most important to her. Determined to stop the approaching apocalypse, she throws herself into the destruction of the Nightbringer. In the process, she awakens an ancient power that could lead her to victory--or to an unimaginable doom.

And deep in the Waiting Place, the Soul Catcher seeks only to forget the life--and love--he left behind. Yet doing so means ignoring the trail of murder left by the Nightbringer and his jinn. To uphold his oath and protect the human world from the supernatural, the Soul Catcher must look beyond the borders of his own land. He must take on a mission that could save--or destroy--all that he knows. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: The final instalment of the Ember Quartet had us crying in the metaphorical club. It’s exciting, terrifying, and probably the horniest book in the series and we loved it!

~Spoiler-full discussion below~

The Good:

→ Elias and Laia

Geena: In the final instalment of the Ember quartet, Sabaa deprives us of an Elias POV and slaps us with the Soulcatcher instead… He’s very much an ‘emotions are bad’ type of dude, the opposite of Elias who always had so many… but both of them are so angsty? The Soulcatcher really likes to beat up trees when his memories from when he was Elias resurface which was so emo to me. Despite being possessed by Mauth he is also such a coward, especially around Laia, because Elias’ feelings for Laia scare him and every single time he is like *running emoji*. We were surprised that Sabaa let him remain the soulcatcher for so long, every chapter I was like ‘Okay, maybe this is where Elias breaks through…’ but no.. Elias remained buried UNTIL their night in the cabin… the Soulcatcher was like ‘k I’m out’ but ONLY for ONE NIGHT and that still makes me scream.. The Soulcatcher was like ‘you kids are too horny for me, I’m gonna take a nap for a bit and let Elias take over bc Jesus.’ 

Despite it all, the Soulcatcher’s chapters were enjoyable albeit painful because this man was so duty bound, like even Elias wasn’t that dedicated when he was a Mask. But near the end, when we finally get the chapter that starts with Elias…. Ngl I cried a little, and immediately wanted to reread the whole series (I feel like Sabaa did this on purpose to torture us). I want to fight Sabaa though, like she did an amazing job showing how Elias’ conscious and the Soulcatcher’s conscious were constantly fighting one another, and how Elias’ memories of the people he loved ultimately fuelled the Soulcatcher’s actions… even though the Soulcatcher was like ‘I’m doing this for the ghosts’ like okay… no ghost told you to keep protecting and kissing Laia but you still did it…  

Kae: Okay, so Geena summed up my boy Ilyaas pretty damn well. Also, we LOVE HIS ETHNIC NAME IN THIS HOUSE. But um, YES. Elias was a sad boy ™ the whole time while fighting his emotions and ultimately losing. It was so PAINFUL as a reader, seeing all of  his chapters except the ONE say ‘Soulcatcher’. But when it finally said ELIAS again, I too, started to cry. Because he was BACK. 

You can all thank the power of Laia’s determination to seduce Elias back to himself, because our girl was NOT giving up. She said ‘you gonna get this coochie, dammit’ and in the cabin, Elias was like ‘well i’ll be damned. I sure as hell am. I am BACK BAYBEEEEE’

Geena: Sabaa Tahir said horny rights like ksjdnfdsjknfsdk

Kae: AUFVAHLHVKJ. BUT YES. In the end, love won. And so did sex because everyone was doin it or TRYING to do it. I guess when the world is ending, you only get one last time to uhh…. Have a good time. So they made sure they did lmao 

Now, let’s get into Laia. 

Laia. My sweet little cupcake. My mug of tea with too much honey. This girl has been through literal hell and back, and yet, she kept going. She NEVER gave up. Laia woke up in book 4 like ‘Today i will commit crimes. Helene and I crave violence’ and they both just started kicking ASS and I LOVED THAT. I was really happy to see the progression of Laia and Helen’s friendship and how they genuinely grew to like one another and see each other as besties. They both deserved a girl friend and I’m glad they found a friendship within each other. 

Laia is the bravest character in this damn book. She went from poor scholar, to slave, to hero and she was brave because she had to be. Laia is strong and took on their entire world. She had help, but she did a lot of it alone and that takes some real guts. She is the most genuine, sweetest, bravest girl and I love her. <3 

Laia also single handedly brought the Ilyaas back from his Soulcatcher shit. During this whole book she was just like ‘You know what? I think I’mma go mess with Elias’ emo ass today to see if I can get him to kiss me or something’ THEN SHE PROCEEDED TO SHOW UP AT THIS MANS HOUSE (realm or whatever) BUTTASS NEKKID. And he saw her and immediately flew the hell out of there it was TOO MUCH and he LIKED IT but couldn’t admit it. 

Geena: You know what I love about that whole scene was like earlier she was like ‘He’s a lost cause idc’ and then Darin was like ‘Elias wouldn’t give up on you if that happened’ and Laia was like ‘you’re right, he would show up stark naked and try to seduce me back to my body’ and she did just that...

Kae: SHE DID. SHE SHOWED UP AND SHOWED OUT! Like, her entire mission was to bring Elias back while also planning on taking down the Nightbringer. But she was straight up like ‘okay but not before i get my man back through SEDUCTION’. Ugh, the mango scene?  Superb. 

Geena: Laia is hands down one of my favourite book characters to exist. Her journey from the first book being a scared girl with a missing brother, to being the face of a revolution… like the GROWTH. Like Kae mentioned, she and Helene end up as BESTIIEESSSS, and I was surprised at how natural they seemed. Because we went from them hating each other to close friends, but despite not seeing their development, it came off so natural? So, I loved that! 

Kae covered Laia’s character pretty thoroughly, she was both a horndog and a bad bitch. Like this girl has pretended to be a Slave for the Commandment to travelling a desert by herself and facing off a squad of Jinn… In retrospect, Laia is a unique case, she’s allowed to be kind and caring and doesn’t have to be a fighter type to be strong. She’s not the chosen one, which this book made clear, it could’ve been anyone to fight the Nightbringer… but only Laia was strong enough to love him AND defy him. And I just love her a lot… she was very much an anime protagonist with the power of love, family, and friendship… anyways I love her and that’s all I have to say

→ Helene 

Geena: The way I ended up liking and rooting for Helene this book? Came out of left field. To be honest, in previous books I didn’t feel much for her other than ‘stop chasing after Elias and Laia pls.’ But this book I wanted her to win, especially with the fight against the germanic-esque invaders. She goes through substantial development, no longer seeing Scholars as slaves and taking their opinions seriously.. Like Laia, Musa, and Darin were all a part of her crew. A stark difference from Book 1 Helene, who thought Scholars only had one role in the world and that was slaves. 

Helene… like Laia… really has the Ember equivalent of hot girl summer with Harper… all the time she spends denying it she is like *jumps on him the chance she gets*. The bath scene… Helene’s power was turning her tortuer into her MAN… But also Sabaa said that ‘yes she has changed, but she has to repent for her sins’ and that’s why Helene is basically left alone at the end (save for Laia, Elias, and Musa). 

Kae: So not gonna lie, I never actually disliked Helene. I saw her as the flawed character she was in the beginning. During her cat and mouse chase with Elias and Laia in the beginning, she would piss me OFF because like, that’s your BEST FRIEEEEEND. JUST STAAAAHP. But also, it was him or her and her family's death, so I get it. But I always saw potential in her to be better. And thank GOODNESS she went through all that character development. Because she was a damn menace in the beginning. 

Also like Geena mentioned; Helly and Harper finally hooking up? I swear the heavens opened up in that moment because EVERYONE could feel their tension. LIKE JUST DO IT ALREADY. You can’t fight love, baybeeee

Watching Helly grow as a person was really rewarding as a reader. Like Geena said, she went from hating scholars to being like ‘hmm, maybe my opinions are shitty?’ and straight up changed.  I also feel for her because she lost her ENTIRE family and like, honestly? I would’ve given up. BUT SHE DIDN’T. She’s a literal fighter, bred for this shit. So she FOUGHT. And I was really scared she was gonna get murked because y’all know Keris’ tiny evil ass doesn’t have a chill button. And when they were fighting? I was like LAWD PLS DON’T  TAKE HELLY. But instead he took Harper *upside down smiley face* SO THAT WAS FUCKED UP AND I WASN’T READY FOR IT. But a piece of me knew it was coming. 

The Bad:   

→ Darin and Harper

Geena: As Kae mentioned… Harper kicked the can in this book :’( His eventual fall came from loving and caring for Helene too much, which left him open and gave Keris the chance to stab him. Harper was basically Helene’s heart outside her body, and when he went down so did Helene. I had had a feeling when Book 3 ended that Harper wouldn’t make it, but I WASN’T HAPPY ABOUT BEING RIGHT FOR ONCE… Harper had finally met his brother (Elias) and hadn’t even had a chance to meet the real Elias and talk to him about their father or other sibling stuff. LIKE OF ALL CHARACTER DEATHS… AND THERE WAS A LOT… The other one that came out of left field was fucking Darin of Serra… DARIN… THE ONE DUDE WE SPENT TWO WHOLE BOOKS SAVING… DEAD WITH A SNAP OF HIS NECK!! I WAS SO MAD

LIKE SABAA HAD US THINKING HE WAS GONNA BE SAFE, SHE GAVE HIM A LIL GIRLFRIEND AND EVERYTHING BUT THEN SHE GOES.. AND KILLS HIM?? JUST LIKE THAT?? Then we had to read the scenes where Elias helps both Darin and Harper pass over into the afterlife and I was just *cries angrily* 

Kae: Well, THAT was sad. Have you ever just like, felt your heart break into a million tiny irreparable pieces? That’s how I felt when Darin and Harper died. Because like, they were both trying to save the women they loved. Darin to Laia, (foolishly so against the Nightbringer) but I would do it for my little sister too. And Harper with Helene against evilass Keris. Dude, that shit just sucked. It hurt to read. It hurt to imagine the girls feeling the pain of their deaths. They were both such good men. And DARIIIN. 

Darin didn’t have to go out like that, man. It was such a harsh death. No last words. It was just over and his body was just gone. I wish Laia would’ve been able to talk with him at The Waiting Place at least one last time. But it is what it is. I hated to see both of them go. Especially since Darin pretty much sparked this whole series. 

Sure, Laia, Helene, and Elias were the main characters. But Darin was the spark that started the fire. And he didn’t even get to see it’s flames extinguished. 

Geena: He was the ember in the ashes… literally like Sabaa uses that for Elias and Laia but it applies to Darin the most

Kae: LITCHRALLY gonna get teary eyed over here. Our boys deserved better :( 

Conclusion 

Geena: This was not at all a disappointing end to the series we’ve followed closely for so long. The different plot points and character arcs were tied up nicely, and Sabaa Tahir showed us once again why she’s one of the best fantasy writers on this side of the Milky Way. We didn’t even bother including a ‘The Ugly’ section because we loved it too much ksfmsd. The only qualm I’d have with the end was the empire remaining, Helene recognized the Scholars as equals but centuries of pain isn’t easily forgotten you know? SO THAT’S WHY I THINK WE DESERVE A SEQUEL SERIES… BUT I DIGRESS… OVERALL, I loved this book and the ending for all the characters ESPECIALLY FOR OUR GIRL LAIA <3

Kae: YES. I AGREE 100% WITH GEENA. It was such a beautiful end to the series. Sabaa is  GENIUS and her storytelling is phenomenal. I loved every little surprise she’s hidden in all of the books. ESPECIALLY WITH COOK BEING ALIVE? I DIDN’T SEE THAT SHIT COMING AT ALL. LIKE HOLY SHIT? So Laia had some remaining family afterall, and I think that’s very sweet. I’m really sad to see the series be over with and Geena and I are both *~HOPIIIING~* for an epilogue or some little crumbs or SOMETHING with the gang and how their lives ended up into middle adulthood or something. 

Geena: I would literally take a single paragraph… Ms. Tahir…. Blease…

Kae: But yes, in conclusion, Laia has a heart of gold and we LOVE HER. She’s brave and strong and smart, and was the only one out of THOUSANDS to stick for herself and defy the Nightbringer, and save the whole world. Helene has come a long way and she developed beautifully as a character. And Elias. Ohhh, Ilyaas. His continued self sacrifice and bravery and love still helped him live in the end and I think that’s beautiful. 

[lambourngb]

Get me out of here - places to go when canon is complicated

It’s Day 3, time to celebrate those stories that I turn to when I can’t deal with canon, or when I don’t have the emotional energy to untangle all the emotions I have for what’s going on in canon. Alternative universes, the safe harbor for us. Below are a mix of rewrites of canon, remixes of canon, or out right not even set in Roswell- to fill every type distance you want from canon- from near to far.

The first story I’m reccing is a long one,- so pardon the very long review below.

my love is a life taker by @jocarthage (267,600) So one day, Jessi popped into discord to share a dream she had about timetravel and being able to save yourself in the past basically, particularly Alex getting to give his baby-self a hug, and we all went, “holy shit that’s a cool fic idea please write it!” and really reality sucks right now with quarantine and whatnot, so what better thing to do than follow a WIP? I can’t tell you how badly I needed to something to look forward to as I was staring down a milestone birthday with all my plans in tatters, and this story filled the void.

Okay- now about the actual story itself, the world building about time travel in this is incredible but easy to absorb. Jessi dumps you straight into the action in chapter 1 with Alex, at 28, assassinating an Iraqi intelligence agent in 2009 that averts a bomb that was planned on US forces. You learn so much about both the story-universe and Alex here- one, that even dressed in mask and killing someone, Alex is kind and uses morphine as an overdose and has arranged for his victim’s family to be compensated, you learn that time agents can only visit places they themselves have visited during that time, and Jesse Manes had dragged his son, who was ‘time aware’ to every place of war and ruin on the planet before he was 18 and that, Alex’s victim, even as he’s dying, recognizes what a shit childhood Alex had but that Alex doesn’t.

The next part is where Alex’s time crystal malfunctions, instead of returning him to 2018, it takes him to 1998 where an 8 year old Michael is getting beaten by his foster dad and Alex, out of his time line mysteriously, visible to only Michael, saves him, but only temporarily. We all know with abusers, until you’re out of the house, it’s just a matter of time before the next beating. However, with one act, Alex at 28 starts putting into action (even though he doesn’t recognize it at the time) the steps to save his own life as he works to save Michael from his childhood. Each mission, each jump through time, Alex meets Michael, always a year apart and only for 1000 seconds, or almost 17 minutes. Jessi takes you through some of the darkest points of US foreign policy, only as Alex takes control of his life, he also starts to change the missions, and change the world. The details of places, people, food, etc are authentic from the author’s experience, if you don’t click on the links at the end of the chapters and disappear down google-rabbit holes about the events in history, well- you’re made of stronger stuff than I am.  There are lots of heavy subjects discussed, but there’s always care and honesty behind the intent. The way Michael grows, the way Alex grows, and of course the journey to the present time when they could be together? It’s like pining on steroids but it’s so wonderful. I wish I could pull out one thing that I loved in particular in this story- but it’s impossible, only to say that I love that I could disappear completely within the confines of ‘my love is a life taker’ knowing that I would be kept safe by the author, that goodness prevails.


when I’m oceans away by @neapeaikea (28,000) this is a post-2008 shed canon-divergent AU where Alex Manes, after the best/worst night of his life bolts from Roswell and leaves Michael behind. 10 years later, on the hunt for a child conceived at Caulfield, Michael walks into a youth home in California and finds Alex. A few things, I love that this author writes an Alex who didn’t join the Air Force but still lost a leg, I don’t really enjoy disability erasure in modern AUs (I’m better at looking past that in historical or sci fi aus) . It’s pretty clear after five minutes that the connection between the two men is still there and strong despite anger, secrets and guilt. The teasing and flirting between them is great but so is the acceptance of baring their vulnerabilities. I loved the care they take with each other, and the tie in to an alien child is just so perfect.

Crucibles (series) @ninswhimsy (9,000)- I’m cheating and naming both here, but obviously nin had her finger on the pulse of fandom, by writing crusade-set queer stories before The Old Guard ever boomed into a fandom from the movie. I was lucky enough to trade DMs over the ideas of holiness and the body, and how Alex would have treated himself, certain of his doomed soul, and how Michael would have responded in turn. It’s no secret I love everything Nin writes, but this series stuck in my mind. I will be drifting off to sleep, and think about Alex walking through the ancient city of Aleppo, ready to be done with his burden and Michael there with soft palms and scented oil, and boom! I reach for my kindle to re-read it.

no regrets if we walk this new road by @andrea-lyn (97,000) This author has written so many amazing AUs, some quite far away from canon events like her Mummy AU or her Avengers AU, but I have to say, I have a very soft-spot for this rewrite of season 1 for a lot of reasons. I mean, it’s 2020, so my appetite for Cop!Max is definitely at an all-time low, so the idea of exchanging his job with Kyle’s was extremely appealing. At least Kyle is a POC holding the badge, not a white man like our canon. Anyway, politics aside, this story is special to me for the scorching good Isobel/Kyle relationship that develops, the way Isobel sharpens herself into a lawyer (not an event planner) and how Michael rounds his own edges off in turn by becoming a teacher (and being secretly married).  Each deviation from canon made complete sense once you alter the way Rosa’s death affects the pod squad, and how they covered it up ripples out toward Liz, Kyle, etc. 


Layer on layer, down on down by @dotsayers (9,440) I love sci-fi tropes, especially time-loops, but they are incredibly hard to write (I know, I abandoned mine a while ago) so this story stands out because of just how well done the execution is and also the angst. Michael in a time loop about Caulfield, like how great/agonizing is that? The plot is so good, how it ties into Caulfield and why it happens in the first place, like wow.  The care, and the hurt, and the fatigue that Michael has in this story, oh you just want to wrap him in a blanket. There’s a tiny throwaway line about how one of the first things Michael learned to do in foster care was to make himself heavy and unmovable- and you instantly picture kid!Michael not wanting to be removed from a house - like my heart broke! The structure of the story, with the background of his just how much he loves Alex but how badly it hurts to see him die, really makes this study of 1x12 special. Along with all the angst, there’s tiny gallows humor lines, so am I weird, that I laughed through a couple of these scenes even as Michael kept dying?

Petty pace by @aewriting (11,600) Aewriting has a couple of stellar AUs, so trying to pick just one was difficult, but I rather feel this story is sadly underappreciated it (mind the tags). It was a remix of @iwontbeyourmedicine ‘s fantastic ‘Freaky Friday’, where the humans and aliens swap roles. Alex in the role of Michael basically was something I had never pictured until Ly wrote that story, and now feel utterly changed by it, especially with this backstory- the idea of Jesse Manes bringing a foster child home? Incredibly well done because there’s an off the charts level of menace in this story. The way Jesse watches Alex, who at first mistakes it for how a pedophile might size up a victim, but then catches on quickly that it’s so much worse in a lot of ways. And Alex is such a loner in the beginning, even as he reconnects with his pod siblings Liz and Maria, he’s still planning on keeping his head down and leaving Roswell far behind. Like freedom is literally the only thing he can conceive of for himself, no real dreams outside of that until Michael slips under his defenses. I probably could have saved this story for angst day- because the second half of the story, if you don’t sob while you read it, then I dunno. It’s helpful to read Ly’s story right afterward as a reminder that things do get better for Alex ten years later. In a lot of ways this story is sadder than canon (though there’s no murder of Rosa/4th alien), I’m comforted that at least Alex has Liz in the aftermath, alike in heartache in a way that Michael didn’t have because of the pact he and Max made about Isobel in canon.

Unexpected tidings by @bestillmyslashyheart (24,800) Another rewrite of canon, that explores a couple of very interesting questions, like what would it look like if Michael never made it back to Roswell as a kid but met Alex by chance in 2008? Imagine the cornerstone of the Lost Decade love affair revolving around the mundane questions of a long distance relationship that wasn’t built on the pain of the shed or Rosa’s death? Marlo writes an amazing take on this, that is both real and deep with the normal couple problems, before introducing that spanner in the works of oh yeah, aliens are real. With Michael on the east coast, and Alex finishing off his service in Roswell, Project Shepherd still entangles Alex with Liz bringing him in on the secret in hopes that with his hacker skills he can track down the third alien child that Max and Iz remember so they can warn him. As interesting as the current plot was, I found myself absolutely revitted the slow piecemeal reveals that Marlo doled out about Alex and Michael’s relationship over time. (I also while rereading this recently got very nostaglic for season 1 Alex who didn’t trust Jesse as far as he could toss him.) 

Don’t Punish Me For What I Feel by @winged-fool (3,600) Tarsus IV AU - another wonderful author with a catalog of great AUs, both sci-fi and dark, and honestly it was difficult to narrow it down to one. This story, well in 2009 I was a hard core Trek movie fan, so when I saw a trek-fusion story appear, I knew I would love it just on that basis. The thing is, this gave me Michael as the Captain, a surprisingly rare role for these space fusions, even though genius level repeat offender Jim Kirk and genius level repeat offender Michael Guerin seems pretty married in my mind as a connection. As a Tarsus-like story, all the tags are well earned by the story that Alex finally shares with Michael. It hit on so many levels, the hurt/comfort level for sure, but also to have a story where Michael is this stalwart protector of Alex was really nice to find. 

this isn’t the ‘holiday best friends championship’ by @usbournejez (6,090) alright to leave this on a lighter note, my final AU rec is this masterpiece by Kieran that was part of Malex Secret Santa gift fics- and what a gift it was to all of us! The way she writes established Malex is first-rate, because she always includes their canon-levels of snark/sharpness but it’s never directed at each other and that’s something I love. Here we have Alex, where we learn in just a few short lines, is a huge control freak but has the extremely big emotional handicap, and that’s his love/fondness/deserve to caretake Michael. Emotional cactus Alex who is soft for Michael? Love it. There are small drops of angsty backstory peppered in this, but really that just fuels just how sweet and wonderful the main theme of the story- which is Alex might hate the whole world at large, he loves, protects and worships Michael (and vice versa). As someone who can bake cookies, but that’s about it, I was still enthralled with the baking details and this story has never failed to encourage me to eat dessert before dinner basically. 

[k7l4d4]

Owl House AU Ideas, fresh out of Spacebattles!

This here is a collection of ideas that I originally posted over on spacebattles, and sadly ended up not doing anything with. Let me know what you all think of them!

Idea THE FIRST!: Lost In a New World. The premise is that Belos does something that ends up destroying the Isles, with only a small portion of the residents making it off of the Isles to the Human World for safety, via Eda's Portal. The survivors are divided into those who lost faith in Belos or never had it to begin with, and those still loyal to him, with each side headed by Eda and Lilith respectively. To clarify, this all is supposed to take place BEFORE Canon. The destruction of the Isles results in shock-waves through the Human World in the form of tremors, with the resulting Chaos being enough for Camila to convince Principal Hal (I think I got the name right) to allow Luz to attend Summer Classes and a Therapist as opposed to Camp Reality Check, or expulsion. As a side-effect of the Isles' destruction, Magic has been released into the Human Realm, and is now gradually reproducing itself, though the effects aren't too noticeable by anyone right away. To gain info on how to best blend in with the humans, the two factions elect to send one of their own to a Human School in order to gather intel. The choice? Amity. (Gus through his hat into the running but was rejected when it became clear that he couldn't curb his enthusiasm)

Hmmm... I like some of this, and will clarify some points I deliberately withheld in my original posting to see what kind of response I would get. As for shelter and food, let's just say the destruction of the Isles wouldn't exactly be what could be considered CLEAN. Lots of random structures, plants, and animals fell into the Human Realm along with Magic, though not exactly in one piece. They were essentially consumed in a wave of magic, damaged as a result of it, transported to the Human Realm IN MIDAIR, and fell to the ground, with the left over magic from the transfer cushioning them enough for any damage to be negligible, if still highly unpleasant for those mentioned animals and plants. The residual magic basically sent the transported plants into a shock of growth, causing them to instantly put down roots, regardless of their orientation to the ground at the time. The structures... their state upon landing varied based upon the materials used to construct them, what state they were in when transported, and where they actually ended up landing. At least one Witch house ended up in a tree in the Amazon Rain Forest. Most shelter for them consists of whatever structures made it through near their arrival point, along with cooperation between what Construction and Plant Coven trained witches made it across, with Illusionists working together to keep suspicious folks away (for the sake of convenience, let's just say that some of each and every coven and a few outright Wild Witches made it off the Isles), and food is usually gathered through a combination of Plant and Beast Keeping witches, though they are currently trying to ration what they already have and have managed to gather. Initial long-term plans mostly consist of ensuring they can gather the resources they need to survive, and finding out as much about the Human Realm as they can to avoid possible conflict, with most contingencies being under-developed as a result of infighting, with the only concrete plan being to figure out how to construct a new portal and retreating somewhere else, or standing and fighting in the hopes of driving off whatever enemies come their way and carving out a settlement just for them. Suffice to say, they don't have a lot of options on the table that they all agree on. They didn't bring a whole lot of material, with most of the Witches who made it off prioritizing food and essential supplies, but some of the Construction and Beast Keeper Witches managed to wrangle the tools of their respective trades, and some Potion Witches managed to bring over their supplies and potions, as well as the tools to make more. Beyond the initial destruction of Belos' Castle, which was the first to go for plot convenience, the destruction of the Isles lasted approximately a week, starting with just the typical disasters of the Isles occurring slightly more than usual, and escalating to entire chunks of the Isles dropping into the sea, with some of the chunks being landlocked. No one really realized anything was wrong until about halfway through, and it wasn't until the last two days of the destruction that anyone who hadn't already managed to see the that "No, the Emperor isn't coming back and saving us from this mess" was willing to admit that they were basically doomed and decided to convince Eda who, as the only person on the Isles with a consistent source of Human Realm goods, was quickly deduced as having a way to there for help getting off the Isles, with Eda herself figuring out the oncoming destruction almost immediately, and basically spent the entire time selling as many non-essential goods as she could while transporting everything else to Earth and waiting for people to come groveling to her for help. For intelligence gathering... I am sorry if this comes across as rude, but you do realize that very FEW witches actually have a strong enough resemblance to Humans to serve as suitable for Intelligence Work, with a lot of witches having unusual traits even discounting the pointed ears, with one Witchling in particular having an Eyeball for a HEAD. That also applies to those that could mix with the Underworld, they still have very attention grabbing appearances. Also, Witches of the Boiling Isles, Eda included, are so out of touch and ignorant of Humanity as a whole that Amity is basically the only acceptable choice at the moment, as she has a sufficiently human-like appearance to pass muster, being an excellent student who can record a lot of potentially useful information, and having an unflappable demeanor to keep any and all surprise in regards to Human behavior and culture from leaking through and potentially giving away that she isn't what she seems. Seriously, the only things that managed to make her lose her cool in Canon were when she thought (correctly) that Willow was cheating, which she cannot stand, the end of the Covention Duel, where she was publicly humiliated, and Luz, after she developed her MASSIVELY OBVIOUS CRUSH! Even when she is very clearly furious, Amity can keep a civil, level demeanor up until the very end. The only Witch that would be a reasonable option is Willow, and she is supposed to be busy helping out with the Plant Witches in gathering food and assembling shelter, massively boosting her prestige with the other Survivors. I suppose Willow could be sent in as backup for Amity, as well as to serve as an additional source of info, but any other Witches would have to hang back until they gain enough info to pass as Humans. The reason I decided on having a Witchling to act as the informant was because, even if they have any kind of odd behavior that would attract attention, eccentricity is much more tolerated among children than adults, even in an intolerant town or community, or at least that is how I understand it, as adults who don't fit whatever accepted mold is going on usually having nothing to fall back on, whereas kids usually have it treated as a phase, even when it is very clearly not or when it is treated harshly by others. As for easy money, the Witches still need to have a basis of understanding for Human Culture before they can start with that, though I agree that it is going to happen eventually. Any and all Lumity isn't going to happen until way later, and will NOT be the focus beyond being a convenient justification for gags based on Amity's behavior around Luz.

Idea THE SECOND!: Gargoyles. The premise is that their exists a subset of witches with abilities beyond the usual; they are, you guessed it, Gargoyles! Gargoyles are identical to other witches, aside from small, nearly unnoticeable horns at their hairline, and vestigial glider-style wings affixed to their upper arms and back. Gargoyles are naturally stronger, faster, and surprisingly lighter than other witches, and have a natural connection with Wild Magic that can flare up at any time. Gargoyles need to be constantly hydrating, or they will freeze up like a statue, with a solid indicator as to whether or not a Gargoyle is about to freeze is when their skin takes a noticeably gray-ish tone and gains a rock-like texture; the freeze will reverse when they are exposed to a significant enough source of water, at least enough to drench them entirely. Gargoyles occasionally enter a state known as "The Rage," in which they expand in size and enter a berserker style frenzy, usually occurring in moments of extreme stress and panic/anger. Gargoyles are treated as second-class citizens at best, ostracized and hunted at worst, with Gargoylism being undetectable until puberty starts. Amity is a Gargoyle in this AU, and the heavily implied emotional abuse she suffers in canon shifts to physical when it becomes apparent she is a Gargoyle, with regular threats made of what will happen to her if word of her status gets out. Lilith is also a Gargoyle, with only Belos and Eda being aware of her condition.

Priestess!: Premise, Camila, pregnant with Luz, ends up on the Boiling Isles, and, after scrounging to survive, during which she gained a friendly acquaintance relationship with Eda, ends up in the not so tender mercies of the Emperor's Coven. It also just so happens that Luz is a natural born Priestess of the Titan, who is NOT happy with the way Belos is running things. In order to keep things under wraps, Belos takes in the two, raising Luz in extreme isolation, while Camila is basically kept under house arrest. Luz has no idea that she is human she has been so deeply isolated from others, and is genuinely confused by her inability to perform magic. Lilith and Camila strike up a friendship, during which Camila slowly breaks down Lilith's delusions over the nature of what she has done and the relationship she has with her sister, who she does not know is Eda, and bonding over their mutual fondness and exhaustion over the ever excitable Luz. Belos is operating under the belief that if he can keep Luz pacified, the Titan will grant him back its favor, not knowing that his insistence one retaining his policies and methods as they are are what gained its ire, and is basically running down the clock on a time bomb. Camila has grown to accept her stay on the Isles, and even enjoys it from time to time, you know, aside from the whole "held against her will in an ominous castle" thing she has to deal with, but desperately wants to return to Earth with Luz. The storyline kicks off in full when Luz accidentally wonders out of the castle and makes her way through Bonesburough, and meets the Eda in the market. Luz has a direct bond with Magic at the spiritual level, not just the magic of witches and the Wild Magic her Canon self wielded, but all magic, making her incredibly powerful when she finally comes into her own, and her connection with the Titan allows her prophetic impulses, insight into any potential danger that may befall her and the nature of those around her and the magic they wield. Don't worry about her being a Mary Sue, her magical abilities, aside from her mental based ones like her danger sense, are horrifyingly unreliable; they either don't work when she needs them to, or she just flat out can't control them in any sense when they are cast. Also, due to being so sheltered, Luz has even less of a survival instinct them in Canon, resulting in her walking into what could be easily considered a literal death sentence without any form of hesitation. Her isolated early childhood has resulted in an unreliable world view, as she has an unsettling mix of teenage hormones, emotions, and impulses, with all the care, control, and understanding of a five year old on a sugar high. Still sweet as a button, but her naivety often frightens those around her, as she is perfectly willing to inflict fatal injuries on another person, simply because she was never taught why she shouldn't; to clarify, if she has fatally injured someone, she WILL be upset if they die, even if they were a massive jerk who tried to kill her first, she merely doesn't understand how her actions could have resulted in their death. When Eda pegs on to just how messed up this version of Luz can be, mentally speaking, she genuinely worries about Luz trying to rape someone the first time she experiences sexual attraction to someone, as Luz confirmed to her that she knows what sex is, but has no understanding of consent in any sense of the word. This is not meant to be a lighthearted prompt, in any way. Though I guess anyone interested could change it into something less... scream/cringe inducing.

Where Were You?!: This is a twist on the classic role swap. It basically hinges on my Head-Canon that Luz once visited the Boiling Isles as a child (Seriously, she, on her first try, created what was apparently a perfect taxidermy replica of a Boiling Isles style Griffon, and only received confirmation she was right when she actually visited the Isles. That is far too much of a coincidence for me). In this premise, Luz and Amity both end up stumbling into portals leading to the Demon and Human Realms respectively, and both are INCREDIBLY YOUNG when this happens, like around 4 or 5 each. Luz, lost and alone in the incredibly dangerous woodlands of the Isles is taken in by LILITH! Note: This Lilith is a member of the Emperor's Coven, and has not switched places as a Wild Witch with her sister, but, due to certain circumstances, loses her trust and faith in the Emperor and in the Coven system, only staying out of a self-admitted misplaced sense of guilt and obligation. After heading into the Woods to vent her frustrations about life, the Emperor, and her choices, she stumbles across Luz after she had been attacked by the wildlife. It... it wasn't pretty. Overcome with horror over what had happened to a literal child, and probably projecting her grief over her ruined relationship with Eda onto the event, Lilith rushes to save her, but, due to the sheer extent of Luz's injuries and how much is... missing, she is forced to improvise, using a series of forbidden spells and some stolen body parts, along with her own blood, to literally put Luz back together. The trauma is so intense, Luz loses all her memories, including her name, and is subsequently adopted and renamed Lucelyn by Lilith. Amity, upon arriving in the Human Realm, is scared, confused, and hopelessly lost. She essentially wanders around the woods Luz Canonically chased Owlbert through in the first episode, avoiding predators only due to her underdeveloped magic and sheer luck. After days of no food, poor shelter, and limited water, which she only got due to a scare about the rain, Amity FINALLY stumbles her way out to civilization, ecstatic to be free of the woods, hopeful to find her family... and gets hit by a car. She lives, obviously, but her being taken into the hospital following the hit leads to some... awkward discoveries. Like with Luz, the trauma she experienced messed with her memories, but she does retain some. She has fond, if unclear, memories of Willow, and a deeply disturbing to witness panic to the words "Mother, Father, Mom, Dad, Family, etc." The revelations on her anatomy, and how it differs from humans, is something that results in her being called into the hospital for observation and study for years to come, or at least up until Canon time. Due to the potential fallout of the discovery of both her anatomy and DNA getting out, all of Amity's hospital records are highly classified, and officially listed as benign but irreversible/irremovable birth defects, and she is required to take a supplemental drinks to help replenish her bile. After the initial panic over the fact that no, humans are not the only sapient species on earth, is over, Amity is given to a mildly despondent Camila to care for. She doesn't properly remember her original name, and answers to Amy. Lilith raised Luz to the best of her ability... which isn't saying much. While Lilith genuinely loves and cares for Luz, she has no idea how to raise a child, and the accident and subsequent "healing" she received as a youngster really screwed her up. She can perform magic, due to the witch parts fused into her along with Lilith's blood and genetic information, but her control is so deeply connected to her emotion that, if she were to lose her temper, any spell she cast would instantly shift targets to the source of her current ire. The only way she can actually control her spells is to use glyphs, the use of which Lilith encourages in her newfound contempt for the Emperor, and training wands. Due to Lilith's poor child rearing skills, Luz isn't exactly well adjusted, often switching between cool yet kind, to polite but hostile, with her wishy-washy personality often being the source of teasing among her friends, though she is still the same sweet, excitable girl she is in canon, as demonstrated by her taking over Amity's Canon duty of reading to the kids. Amity inherited Luz's canonical trouble with making friends, with most people finding her appearance, particularly those aspects which give away her heritage, frightening. Amity is a sweetheart, but timid and severely lacking in confidence. After rediscovering her magic shortly after moving in with Camila, who loves Amity like she truly was her daughter in spite of her emotional hurt over Luz's disappearance, Amity made it a point to study and discover as much about magic as she possibly could, relentlessly researching any and magical knowledge the Human Realm has, with many of the ancient traditions of humans themselves translating into workable spells and magic practices. Amity is a huge nerd, but also one of the best jocks in her school, which helps counterbalance her otherwise less than stellar reputation as a klutz and a slacker. She isn't actually a slacker, but her obsessive magic research has given her a mild case of chronic insomnia, resulting in her randomly falling asleep at the strangest of times and places, including in class. Amity liberally takes inspiration for her magic from a variety of sources, including blatant ripoffs from anime, though she usually saves those for special occasions, with a lot of her spells falling under the umbrella of "Awesome but Impractical."

Willow is very different as opposed to Canon. After Amity's disappearance, and subsequent funeral after her parents gave her up as dead, Willow felt the need to toughen up. She never once believed that Amity had died, and wished to grow stronger to ensure she would be able to keep her safe when (and Willow knew it was a matter of when, not if) Amity managed to return. This training culminated in the second-year anniversary of Amity's funeral, where she met Boscha. Boscha, being, well, Boscha, didn't make the best impression on Willow, not that it mattered later. A tremor ripped through the area, opening up a deep crevasse beneath Boscha, nearly sending her plummeting to her doom, only to be saved by Willow in an impressive, not to mention frightening, display of Plant Magic. The incident led to Willow being hailed as a hero, and a local celebrity, but Willow quickly pegged on to how people, particularly those with known agendas, were cozying up to her in the hopes of gaining favor with the new local darling. To protect herself, Willow grew cold and distant, maintaining a professional distance from everyone at all times. She was eventually approached by Luz, and grew fond of her when it became clear Luz didn't give a hoot about her status or power. Boscha never fully recovered from the shock of her brush with death. The fall left her sullen and riddled with self-doubt, destroying her faith in her skills, along with resulting in her developing a fascination with Willow, going out of her way to confront her, only to be brushed aside like dirt on the road every time, which really didn't help her low self-esteem. Her self doubt translated itself to all aspects of her life, leaving her near totally isolated and struggling academically, with the only person willing to really interact with her being Skara. Her only outlet is her Grudgby skills, which allow her to vent her frustration and gain something resembling respect. Gus is much more mischievous than in Canon, as well as even more insecure. After his status as a mild prodigy became apparent, resulting in him skipping a few grades, Luz quickly took an interest in Gus, and subsequently took him under her wing, acting as a shield to those who would bully or dismiss him due to his age. While this has made him more comfortable in his skills, it has also resulted in a mild form of hero-worship in regards to Luz, constantly fearing that if he can't measure up to her expectations (she has none) that she will abandon him to fend for himself. Due to this self-doubt, Gus is envious of Willow's power, as it means, in his mind, that her position with Luz is secure, though Willow herself is indifferent to his feelings on the subject; they are both more Luz's friends than they are each other's friends. Due to Luz protecting him from bullies, Gus is far more willing to use his magic to goof off, even more so than how he uses his clones to skip class. Skara is a peppy cheerleader type girl, so kind that she genuinely struggles with saying a mean word to, well, anyone! As a result of never having to go along with Boscha's bullying, as it often seemed to me like her Canon self was just doing it because it was expected of her, she is highly empathetic, acting as willing listener to other's problems, and a comforting shoulder to cry on. She is fascinated by music and art in any form, and eagerly shakes Amity down for everything she has to offer. Because she associates with someone so far down the social ladder compared to Canon, Skara isn't nearly as popular, but her kindness means she is highly regarded by pretty much everyone, even Willow smiles when talking to her. Lilith is a persistent worrywart in regards to Luz, calling her at all hours of the day to make sure she is okay. She is cognizant of the fact that she didn't do a good job raising Luz, and has constructed a thousand and one practice apology letters in case she ever meets Luz's biological family. Due to her newfound contempt for the Emperor, she makes no real effort to apprehend Eda, and makes it a point to be as amicable as possible when talking with her. The only real point of contention between them on her own end is that Lilith frequently criticizes Eda for not using her status as the greatest Wild Witch to gather followers and build a power base for herself, often punctuated by her ominously rubbing her hands together, which Eda finds unsettling in the extreme, though Lilith will often backtrack and (poorly) change the subject whenever anyone calls her out on her blatantly treasonous thoughts, including Eda. Lilith has developed a habit of muttering schemes to dethrone the Emperor when she thinks other people aren't listening, and cackling maniacally, which often causes people to stare and ask if she's okay. While aware that she did a poor job rearing her, Lilith is insanely proud of Luz, willing to pull out a ridiculously large number of photos (or whatever the BI equivalent is) to shove in people's faces, including Eda. One of Eda's newest escape strategies is to ask Lilith how Luz is doing, as it instantly makes her drop whatever she is currently doing to ramble on about how proud she is and what Luz has most recently accomplished; everyone, including Lilith herself, agrees that it is annoying. As a result of no longer having Amity to push all their negative attention to, the Blight parents switched to the Twins, who they are much more critical of their faults now that they don't have Amity as a deliberate scapegoat. Emira was subjected to an immense amount of scrutiny due to her position as the (slightly) more responsible twin, and was aggressively pushed to be the perfect Blight. While she can put up the act, Emira deeply resents both of her parents, and eagerly awaits the opportunity to slip their control. She despises how they brushed aside Amity's disappearance, and while putting up the goody-two-shoes act, she longs for the good old days of pulling pranks and teasing her little sis. Edric was shoved aside, regarded as an embarrassment now that Amity was no longer around for him to look good in comparison to. Because he wasn't subjected to the same expectation of being the face of the Blight Family Emira was, he lashed out in the extreme, garnering a reputation as an out of control troublemaker and was switched to the Detention Track for all that he has done. On the few occasions that he and Em have been able to slip away from their parents' notice, they act similarly to Canon, but with a noticeable tension between them. Both latch onto Luz as a surrogate sister, though they both are adamant that she is not and can never be a replacement for Amity, and affectionately nickname her Kittens as a reference to her love of cats and her catlike capriciousness. They are the first to peg onto the fact that "Amy" might be the missing member of the Blight family, as she reflexively hissed upon hearing the name Mittens, something Amity did when younger when the twins first started using the nickname as a way to tease her, though they are both apprehensive over the idea out of fear of being wrong. How's about that? Oh, and before I forget, as a result of Amity repeatedly casting magic and testing spells in the Human Realm, magic has slowly started to accumulate and proliferate over the years, resulting in several groups with magic and magic-adjacent practices and beliefs to discover that they suddenly have true powers, much to their shock and delight. Also, I head-canon that residents of the Boiling Isles treat a lot of stuff that is exceptionally weird on Earth as being a result of their influence, and, because of the whole "banished the giraffes" thing, that they often brought over creatures and things from the Human Realm out of a belief that it was actually theirs. When they couldn't stand the giraffes anymore, they sent them back to where they originally found them, and that was that. They didn't realize that the small portion they had originally taken was such a small part of them, and probably never will. Edit: I know that the Twins almost definitely received plenty of negative attention from their parents in Canon, I just feel that Amity originally got the Lion's Share due to physically standing out more and not being as inherently talented. Without those traits around to target, they switched to attacking the twins over their trouble-making ways.

To break it down; firstly, I am basing some of these decisions on Canon elements, with Amity being considered frightening/weird looking being a result of her biological traits, yes, but also because she would be growing up in Luz's hometown which, apparently, doesn't have a good track record with ANYTHING even remotely unusual, as a lot of what got Luz in trouble back in the Human Realm was weird, but ultimately very much harmless stuff that apparently was enough to send all the other kids screaming. Seriously, the most dangerous things Luz did were the spiders and the snakes, everything was just, well, weird! So, I think it would be fair to say that Luz's school wouldn't react well to Amity's appearance, or it would at least create some kind of obstacle social wise. For the bile thing, a sample to analyze would be taken shortly after bringing her in after the accident, at least once they peg onto the fact that she isn't exactly human. The drink wouldn't be made early on, I was honestly thinking it wouldn't be available until she was entering her preteens. The drink would be to stimulate her body's natural production and reproduction of bile, like those medicines used to help with blood loss. I head-canon that using magic in the Human Realm is very taxing for Witches as they don't have the ambient magic of the Titan to draw on to bolster their reserves and accelerate their recovery, though particularly powerful Witches would need to seriously work if they wanted to even make a dent in their own reserves. Amity's experiments with magical techniques early on are supposed to be what kick off the development of the drink, as she only has the reserves of a child and is using a lot of magic in an environment where she can't recover easily. I also head-canon that bile is merely metabolized when Witches cast magic, it NEEDS to be metabolized when Witches cast magic at that, and as such all Witches have the exact same amount of bile, discounting variances in weight, height, etc. A Witch's magical power is based on how much magic they use in relation to how much bile they "burn" at any given time. The idea that Camila is one of Amity's original nurses... I LIKE IT!! But as to the government thing, they don't immediately know, as the vast majority of Hospitals are privately owned businesses and don't actually answer to the government. I'd say that, depending on how many shenanigans she gets up to, Amity has a solid year before the government finds out about her, at which point they essentially take over the research into Amity, who I will remind you is suffering significant memory loss in regards to her past and was an incredibly young child when she came to the Human Realm so anything she knew would be massively incomplete to start with, and more or less leave everything alone once they cotton on to just how bad it would be take an apparently super-powered alien child from her foster mother to experiment on her. As for Reality Check, I haven't figured that part out yet, or if I'll keep it at all. For native magic users and the jumpstarting of magic on Earth... I have two ideas about how magic functions in The Owl House. The first type is internally originating magic, otherwise known as Witchcraft, which is where bile comes in, and externally originating magic, otherwise known as Shamanism and Wild Magic, which draws on magic from one's environment. Magic returning to the Human Realm is something I envision as being well under way for quite some time, with Amity jumpstarting the process being due to her living there for years, casting magic constantly, or near enough, in her research, merely acting as the straw that broke the camel's back in this scenario; she didn't actually start it so much as she accidentally finished it, and even that took a few years. Witchcraft would be like what you said, human descendants of Witches using proto-bile sacks to fuel their abilities, whereas Shamans would be useless until the Magic Jumpstart actually happens. Witchcraft doesn't actually need circle drawing, it was just the preferred method of BI Witches, so much so that it is now partially built into them. Shamanism always needs some kind of symbol-based focus, or something that has been infused with magic, preferably something that once was or was at least part of something alive at some point. I also head-canon that, due to the supplement speeding up recuperation times, Amity practices magic a LOT, so she has gradually gotten better at metabolizing her bile to perform spells and such, making her much more powerful than she would be at that age, the only problems being that, due to her obsessive studies, her understanding of the various types of magic she can perform are patchy, relegating her skills to either the absolute basics, or Awesome but Impractical; to give an extreme example if this, in one particular school of magic, she knows exactly two spells, one that will move any object within her line of sight exactly one foot in any unobstructed direction so long as she can physically move it on her own if need be, and one that involves summoning a beam of light strong enough to destroy a house made out of concrete that can only be performed during a thunderstorm on a full moon while standing on one leg and blindfolded (that particular spell was created whilst the original caster was drunk out of their mind on a dare, and no one, not even the creator themselves, are sure who thought it was a good idea to write it down).

This is a free to use collection for anyone looking for something to try their hand at or to sink their teeth into. Note: Some of the story elements I used to build this were ones found within the fandom rather than my own opinions on the characters in question.

[itsclydebitches]

This is a lot of assuming but bear with me. Is it fair to assume that Ruby was ok with Ironwood arresting Robyn? Considering that a.) Ruby wanted to contiune the Arena project and it's Roybn that was putting it to a stop and b.) I'm assuming since Blake and Yang kept the fact that they didn't arrest Roybn and gave her information instead a secret even from their team that Ruby and Weiss were on board with arresting Roybn. (1)

I think we can only assume as much in the context of “RT really hasn’t given us much information on this so, as an almost blank slate, the viewer is free to interpret things as they please” as well as the context of “Ruby, as currently written, is an incredibly impulsive person who jumps straight into the first plan she’s offered without thinking through the consequences.” 

So for me personally, I read it less as 

Ruby knew Robyn was stealing supplies and risking arrest. Ruby still insisted on continuing the Amity project despite knowing it was doomed. Ruby did not know that Yang and Blake intended to let Robyn go. Ergo, Ruby decided she was okay with potentially sacrificing Robyn to keep her own secret safe. Better to let her get arrested so I don’t have to come clean about my lie rather than admitting that the Amity plan is doomed and, as Robyn says, Mantle should have the supplies.

and much more

Ruby decided to tell this lie and then just stopped thinking about the situation up until she and Oscar decided to come clean. 

If you pulled a Volume 7 Ruby out of the screen and asked her some basic questions about the situation, like “Were you planning to let Robyn go if you’d been the one to encounter her instead? Would you have broken her out of jail if someone else arrested her? Did you just have that much faith that Robyn couldn’t be caught? Or, if Robyn was arrested for stealing supplies you knew were being wasted, would you just have let her stay there rather than coming clean about your own part in all this?” I think Ruby’s response would be a long “Uhhhhhh.....” and a guilty, confused look. 

She’s not meant to be a calculating person. That is, Ruby isn’t supposed to be someone who - like Ozpin or Ironwood - deliberately recognizes that she’s making the sacrifice of Robyn’s potential arrest to maintain her own lie. At the same time though, we’re not supposed to read Ruby as dangerously ignorant and dangerously naive because she makes these decisions without thinking through the consequences. The takeaway is not meant to be “Wow. Ruby ignored these problems to such an extent that she didn’t even realize that this was a problem? This 17 year old should not be in charge of leading this war...” Rather, we’re supposed to view Ruby as a near perfect, pure-hearted hero who might speak very generally about her worry that she’s making mistakes, but ultimately always makes the right call because she’s the simple soul of this group. It’s just that this perspective  requires that the viewer ignore a great deal of contradictory evidence. Thus, there are viewers who take the show’s claims at face value and adore Ruby for her “heroic” choices, not noticing or not acknowledging all the problems there. Likewise, there are viewers like you and me who unpack the information we’re given, come to different conclusions - “Wait... Ruby hasn’t actually been that kind lately? She’s not demonstrating good decision making skills? She’s making the same choices as our supposed antagonists? She’s winning because the plot allows her to, not because she did something clever or brave?” - and end up rejecting the perspective the show keeps touting. That rejection arises out of really big stuff (Ruby keeps Ozpin’s secrets but not for his compelling reasons) as well as much smaller things like this: Ruby is either willing to risk negative outcomes to perpetuate a completely useless lie, or she’s so deep in ignoring these ethical issues that she hasn’t even bothered to consider the consequences of her split second decision. Either way, she’s flawed in a way that the story is refusing to acknowledge. 

[mcfanely]

The Ice Emperor and the Earth Dragon

Nothing ever really stays the same. Peace doesn’t last, it is simply the absence of turmoil.

Chapter 07 - Snow Fall, 2390 words

Fishing, Cole had to admit, was relaxing. Or probably the most relaxing part of his routine recently. There was just something enjoyable about standing on the riverside, listening to the water still flowing freely below the layer of ice that was acting as a seal over the top. Back in Ninjago, back at home, he'd never really understood the appeal of it, not really. Standing still for hours on end, staying as silent as possible, Cole found those things hard to do when his life wasn't dependent on it. His foot always tapped lightly to an internal rhythm in his head, he paced sometimes if he was bored enough. 

Silence, though. That was something he could do. Internally, it may have been a constant vortex of thoughts and songs and an incessant internal monologue that Cole used to keep himself occupied; with all that going on, externally, he was absolutely stone cold silent. Even his breathing was measured. 

The environment seemed to reflect this too. It had been a nice day when Cole had stepped out of the cave and for that he was grateful. Snowy landscape did not necessarily mean a biting and unbearable cold. The sun still rose in the east, it bounced off the white blanket in a beautiful way and it warmed the area to a degree. The snow didn't melt and the ice didn't get any thinner, but Cole didn't have a constant chill in his bones. 

Even though the sky had clouded over a bit back, Cole was still enjoying himself. Then when the snow had begun to fall in light fluffy swirls, he let out a small breath and allowed the calming silence to descend. 

Zane had explained it to him once, around a year ago when Ninjago was experiencing a white Christmas. Snow had descended and the world had quieted, and Cole had turned to his friend and simply gave the observation that the world seemed to fall silent when it snowed. 

Apparently, it was a thing that happened and he wasn't imagining it. 

Large flakes of snow take up the sky as they fall, Zane had said, Cole remembered fondly. This means that when there is a sound, instead of it travelling straight to your or my ears, it gets interrupted by these falling flurries. He'd reached out and caught one in his hand, the flake stayed solid, in perfect condition. All because Zane ran cold. 

When snow falls, the world really does become quieter. I, for one, find it calming.

It really was calming. Cole had situated himself on a low hanging branch of a tree, his leg dangling over one side and his fishing rod and line suspended over the other and in a large crevice broken into the ice by a solid stick and a few dropped rocks. 

He would fish for hours, but sitting down on the ground or finding a rock to get comfortable on would be stupid. The ground sapped away warmth like it was nothing, and Cole didn't have any he was willing to risk giving away. 

This was just routine, and feeling cold was always part of that. It was a constant presence now, even in the safety of the cavern where the mech was kept, where it was a slight bit warmer, it was nothing like home. Home with a heating system, working lighting, any creature comfort that Cole would never take for granted when they got back there. If they got back home at all. 

It was one thing waiting for a rescue, but a whole other thing hoping for one that probably wasn't going to come any time soon. The realisation that anyone's first assumption would be that Aspheera's magic had been the end of the both of them had been hard to get his head around. 

Cole was, in reality, still trying to accept it. 

But it wasn't all doom and gloom. If he could be anywhere in that moment, he probably would still pick the frozen wasteland they were trapped in. If only that it provided the knowledge that Zane was okay, Cole wouldn't trade that. He liked knowing that his friend was alive, anything was better than fearing him dead. 

Thinking that he'd given his life for yet another noble cause, that he was never coming back. Crouching down in the barren and frozen streets of Ninjago city with a part of Zane's facial plating held loosely in his hands, looking around and not finding him anywhere. Snow fell, everything was silent, and Zane was gone. 

Cole snapped sharply back to reality when he felt some resistance on the end of his line. He reached out and grabbed the wire, situating the wooden rod between his legs so he could reel the fish in the manual way, pulling on the wire until his catch was successfully out of the water. He had the method down, this process was basically muscle memory already. The amount of fish he'd caught over the past week or so was more than he'd ever thought he'd need to catch in his lifetime. 

Maybe he was getting tired of the mundane and repetitive action of catching the fish, scaling and slicing them up using a dagger that was made for combat and definitely not Cole's first choice of weapon in battle, using the blowtorch they had sparingly since that fuel wasn't going to last forever to heat it up just a little and hopefully kill off any bacteria. Rinse and repeat. Daily. 

Well, better to be bored of fish but have something to eat than have nothing and starve. 

He set the fish on the thick branch he was situated on, next to the others he'd already caught that day. 

Maybe he could figure out a way to dry them? Then they'd keep for a lot longer, which would mean less time being spent fishing. 

Which reminded him. 

Cole began wrapping the wire up; packing away his job for the day he used the last bit of its length to tie around the tails of the fish for easy transportation. 

Then he hopped down from the branch to continue with his day. 

Or at least, as much as he could do. A glance to the sky showed a nearing tundra of dark clouds that could only mean that a snow storm was coming. Though they looked fairly far off, Cole had faith that he had a little bit more time. 

More time to tread through the snow with his fishing pole resting on one shoulder, listening to the sound of the fresh blanket crunch and buckle under his weight as he made his way deeper into the surrounding forest. Though he wasn't going to get lost. He'd been this way already, if the deep score marks on the trees around him was anything to go by. They marked a path, a way home in a way. All he had to do was turn around and keep the marked trees on his left side, and he'd be back at the cavern in no time. 

The carved trees also marked out how far both he and Zane had trekked during their stints outside, each day they would go a bit further, score off a few more trees; yet currently, staying closer to their home base was more important.

As time went on, and as circumstances would evidently change if they got the mech working, they could venture further easier. 

For now Cole was content with walking around the area he already knew, specifically, searching for dead trees, or one with snapped and dying branches. 

If they didn't get the mech working, then they'd need other ways to get warm, and as much as Cole knew they'd gotten lucky with very few storms and generally nice days; he also knew that they had in no way experienced the worst of the cold this realm could bestow. 

Dying and dead wood meant it was already pretty dry, a few days out of the elements and it might have a chance of being firewood. Though it was an ongoing and long process. 

Cole had collected wood last week and laid it out uniformly over the cavern floor, yet any attempts to strike a flame and start a blaze had ended with very sore and tired hands and a pile of splintered wood. He'd tried the blow torch, that was the first thing he'd done. Everything was just so saturated with damp that nothing took.

It didn't mean Cole would stop trying, and by collecting wood today in order to dry it off for a later date, it meant that he and Zane could be better prepared for whatever the realm threw at them in the future. 

They were in it for the long haul, after all. What with no way home. 

No way home and no rescue team coming to get them. 

He sighed lightly as he used the dagger to sever an already hanging branch from a tree and held it under his arm as he walked over to another tree. 

Then another. 

And another. 

Until Cole was walking around with a substantial assortment of thin branches and some smaller fairly dry twigs in his hands, coupled with his fishing rod now being balanced on the opposite shoulder, there wasn't really much else he could carry without dropping anything. 

So he made the, most likely smart decision, to head back to the cavern for the day. Sure, there was daylight left and the storm clouds were still far off in the distance, but Cole wasn't going to do much more with full hands. 

He was stepping gingerly over the frozen lake when he felt the temperature take a sudden drop around him. The temperate weather of a sunny winter day took a stark and tangible shift. The wind picked up and blew through the torn gaps in his gi, pelted over his bare arms and made him involuntarily drop his carried items in favour of wrapping his arms around himself to ward off the bitter chill.

Cole felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle up, and that wasn't just due to the cold. 

He glanced down at the branches that he'd dropped, at the strung up fish that laid on the top of the frozen river. Then he looked past them, looked past the surface ice and down to the flowing water below. Or at least, what had used to be flowing not a few seconds ago. 

Fish that had been freely swimming beneath the ice were now frozen in place, suspended in their final actions by the water that had apparently undergone a flash freezing. The river, once topped with both thick areas of ice and slightly more dubious spots were now a solid chunk of ice all the way down to the river bed. 

Then Cole glanced at the trees just as snow began to fall and a once clear sky was soon overtaken by a wall of darkened clouds. Frost was visibly crawling over the bark in frozen spirals, and honestly it was an extremely pretty sight. Watching as they grew and danced, creating pattern after pattern. 

Yet, it didn't stop the feeling of a lead weight dropping in his stomach. 

The snowfall was speeding up now, becoming heavier, thicker, more blinding. It was getting worse by the second. 

It was getting colder by the second too, he could feel the numbness edging into his fingers, the cold chill nipping at his face, reddening and numbing his cheeks. 

Then when frost started to form on the front of his gi, Cole didn't even take a moment to collect his belongings from the floor. He just broke into a sprint, running headlong into the snowstorm and the growing fresh blanket of snowfall. 

He needed to get back to the cavern. It didn't take a genius to realise that the weather wasn't natural. 

Snow didn't fall from a previously clear sky, clouds didn't form and blacken the sky within seconds from nothing. 

Water didn't freeze so suddenly. 

It required a catalyst for something so abnormal, a force behind it. 

Raw energy and power. 

Like an elemental master and the scroll of Forbidden Spinjitzu. 

Zane. 

This time, finding his way back to the cavern was muscle memory. Cole didn't look around to see if he was following the right path of trees, he was just running. He had to get to the cavern, he had to prove himself wrong. 

This had to be just one huge overreaction; maybe this was a weird event that happened in this realm every once in a while? A sudden freeze. 

Internally, though, he knew that he was just lying to himself. 

The temperature only continued to drop the closer he got to their shelter, Cole didn't even spare a second thought to the giant bird that sometimes circled the area; even that thing seemed to be staying away. 

He could see why even through the blinding rage the storm had developed to. The sheer blue light was a guide towards the mouth of the cave, but also a sign of what was waiting for him inside. 

That knowledge didn't halt his step. If Zane was in fact holding the staff, if he was causing the shift in the weather that was so sudden and severe as it was, then something wasn't right. His friend needed help and danger or not, he wasn't going to go anywhere but the eye of the storm. 

He did slow at the entrance though, his footsteps falling silent as they moved from the crunch of the snow to the solid stone floor. Cole just walked inside, his hands pinned under his arms to try and get some feeling back into them now that he was sheltered from the wind and snow. 

"Would you advise me to do so?" Zane's voice echoed around the room, it had a dubious note to it. Confusion. 

Why was he talking to himself? He furrowed his eyebrows and was about to step out into the expanse of the cave when, 

In a gravelly tone, "Most certainly." 

An unknown voice. An unknown third person. 

Cole felt the hair on his neck prickle, and it wasn't due to the power of the scroll.

There was someone in there. With Zane.

-

From the beginning

Ch 06 > Ch 07 > Ch 08 

AO3