#but i am very compliant!!! AND I HAVE SHIT!!! TO DO!!!!!!!!

[mothmanns]

MAD

[corazondebeskar-reads]

we stay silly

Jackson!Joel Miller x gn!reader

note: I made this post and then got dicked down too good for it to be a “tmi with toni.” also @cavillscurls said “more” and while this probably wasn’t what you meant, I am very easily enabled.

words: no clue sorry I literally just wrote this on tumblr mobile in a post-nut haze. it’s not long.

summary: you and joel have a peaceful moment for both silliness and filth.

warnings: pwp, enthusiastic consent, gender neutral language, no description of reader beyond having legs, joel can move reader around but does not lift them, kept it gn on purpose but if you want to imagine this as never stood a chance joel and reader I ain’t stopping you (bcus they live in my head at all times), sweat kink?, armpit sniffing and licking, m!self, use of slut (affectionate), breath play, rack/ssc compliant, Joel has multiple orgasms and we pretend that’s reasonable at his age

“Hey, careful. My glasses are up there somewhere,” he says while you eagerly wiggle your joggers and underwear down and kick them off.

You’ll be cross later when they’re tangled up and inside out on the floor, but his thick cock is bobbing and drooling, so. More important things at hand.

You grope around the already-hopeless sheets—pulled up at three of the four corners from your fists balling and clinging while he finger fucked you open enough for him to fit—and hold up his glasses, victorious.

He reaches for them and you pull your hand back. His brow ticks up.

“Put ‘em on,” you say, then add “pleeeease?” for good measure.

“Put my readers on,” he says flatly. “Why in gods name would I need ‘em t’fuck you? S’there gonna be a test?”

“C’mon,” you whine, lower lip pushed out playfully.

He rolls his eyes. “Why?”

God, he’s such a stubborn ass. He’s gonna make you say it. “Because they’re hot.”

“Yeah? It gets you all hot n’ bothered? You get off to my eyes goin’?”

But there’s a gleam in his eye as he slips them on. He knows. He’s felt your filthy gaze when he’s reading next to you in bed, under the soft quilt and shadows cast from the lamp. He’s just been waitin’ for you to finally do somethin’ about it.

He doesn’t need them to see the way your chest rises and falls, still panting from his relentless attention. He doesn’t need them to see the way you’re covered in a sheen of sweat, a triumphant smirk making its way back onto his face.

He sure as shit doesn’t need them to see the way your eyes go dark and you squirm a little as he peers down the bridge of his nose at you, thin scar catching in his peripherals.

“So what is it?” He says, but it lands a little more husky than gruff. “You hot for teacher or somethin’?”

“Hot for teacher,” you mouth, rolling your eyes. “No, weirdo. It’s just a good look on you.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he says, and grabs you by the knees, yanking you and the poor sheet down to the edge of the bed.

You squeak in surprise even though he’s used this move before. It never fails to fluster you as he pulls and turns and manipulates your body as he wants.

There’s even less warning as the tip of his cock pushes inside, and he doesn’t wait to stuff the rest in. Your snappy retort dies in a shuddering gasp and you have to take a minute to recover.

He doesn’t give it to you, though. Well. He gives it to you, but it is every inch of his cock and not a reprieve.

Your legs are folded between you, calves on his shoulders. He watches the way your body shakes and spreads for him; you watch the way your feet bounce. One smacks lightly against the veiny expanse of his neck.

The giggles come unbidden and he almost stops fucking into you. Almost.

“What now?” He looks like he regrets asking as soon as the words are out.

“My feet. It’s so silly. Sex is silly,” you say with more laughter.

“Yep. Sure is,” he says, though there’s something fond in his gaze as he takes in your smile.

“We stay silly,” you say, one hand celebratorily raising the roof.

“Alright, that’s enough,” he says and covers your mouth with his giant hand.

Any response you might have rather given comes out in a moan.

“Yeah, you like that, I know,” he murmurs. He takes it away for a moment to fold your legs up, pressed to your chest. His hand comes back to stifle you as his hips pummel against yours. He’s fucking down into you, groaning and panting.

He’s relentless. A machine. For an old man, as you like to tease, he’s got the stamina of the goddamn energizer bunny. Jackhammers have nothing on your man.

“Come,” he huffs, and slides his hand up to cover your nose, too, smothering you with his sweaty palm. Your eyes roll back as you shake and clench around him.

“Goddamn, that’s it. That’s it, baby. Fuuuuck yeah,” he croons, pulling his hand away before you really run out of air.

His cum splatters across your stomach, having wrenched himself from your tight grasp. “Scoot,” he grunts, smacking at your ass.

You manage, somehow, to pull your body back up toward the headboard, and he sprawls on his back beside you, scooping you close with one arm.

“Take care of my balls, baby,” he coaches, groaning in delight as you cradle them in one hand while he lazily strokes his dick, his own seed as lube.

“That’s it,” he murmurs, and his arm crooks around the back of your neck. It tightens and you gasp, face first into his armpit.

“Such a good little slut,” he moans, holding you with your nose pressed to the damp thicket of hair there. He keeps you there, feeling you groan and shiver, as he brings himself to a second orgasm.

But he doesn’t relent, even then. You’ve gone limp in his grip, but he knows you’re fine. He knows because your tongue is lapping at him lightly. He chuckles.

“Filthy, nasty slut,” he says fondly. “You just can’t help yourself, huh? Gotta have a taste?”

You don’t answer, can’t answer, lost in him. That’s okay. He didn’t expect you to. He yanks on his cock, your hands gently stretching his balls, as he eases you both over the edge once more.

[see-arcane]

You can’t make people ship ships the way you want to ship them though. People can ship Orlok and Ellen in any way and under any lenses they really want to. Also judging by how interviews of cast and crew go they also wanted people to ship these characters and don’t view Ellen as abuse victim or CSA victim. It’s indeed kissy kissy vampire movie in a way as Ellen literally kisses Orlok on the lips and they have quite sensual vampire sex. I understand you can have frustration with some shipping or shippers and you are free to vent but you can’t change that people ship things or how they view and ship these things or how they view movies. People don’t look at movies and world with your eyes nor should they.

Don't want this to turn into a Thing, so I'd like to cap the topic off here.

I do not have a problem with people shipping Ellen and Orlok, or Thomas and Orlok, or Ellen and Thomas, or any combination thereof. Same goes for the actors/director who clearly wanted an element of attraction happening in the dynamic(s). It is gothic horror centering around the amorous and fucked up triangle these characters make. Ship happens.

What aggravates me is not just the bleaching and rose-colored glasses phenomenon with some folk's very literal non-joking interpretation of Orlok's attentions as purely ribald-romantic, but how it locks into a much longer, much more headache-inducing tradition that keeps getting grafted onto a very Specific kind of relationship in stories like this.

Red Riding Hood and the Wolf. Persephone and Hades. The last living wife standing and Bluebeard. Mina Harker and fucking Dracula.

Every time. Every single time that there is a Girl and an Aggressive Admirer/Predator involved in an original telling, it gets garroted, dragged through a Valentine Card printing press, and spat out the other side, either in genre-blind reinterpretations of every violent act or full-on spinoffs as Beauty and the Beast-flavored naughty xxx romance 😜 (Don't worry, she totally wanted it, she was just playing hard to get uwu)

When the girl is hunted. When the girl is imprisoned. When the girl is raped. When the girl has her life and the lives of loved ones threatened in order to make her compliant with what her attacker wants. No matter how much slaughter or entrapment or physical or psychological abuse is branded into the mythology or book or film, the rosy romantic revamp keeps happening.

I'm not going to sit down and go full hack psychology about the mechanics of forbidden fruit/desire/escapist kink involved in people's enjoyment of these stories. I love those stories! Can't get enough of the fucked uppery involved with narratives that take something like Love or Desire--traditionally upheld solely as Virtues reserved for curing a villain of their evil or firing in a glittery beam from some magical high schooler's wand--turned into something dangerous, maddening, and horrific. I eat that shit up.

What annoys and worries me is the lack of comprehension, or else outright ignoring, of the bare minimum of reality within a story in favor of sanitizing and filigreeing it into 'Just a naughty ;) romance~' wherein the Aggressor was definitely for real just a misunderstood suitor the Girl wanted all along..! as long as we ignore all the bodies and the repeated assaults and the bodily chucking her when she said a thing he didn't like and the point blank gaslighting and the attacking and entrapping her as a teenager as she screamed and went into the first of many many seizures and the fact that she was willing to die in order to kill him

Obviously I can't stop people from seeing what they want to see or thinking what they want to think. Imagination Land has no borders and folks can do whatever. I'm not going around with hardcover editions of Dracula, pummeling errant shippers for their transgressions.

I am just venting. Because venting and languishing and praying for actual critical thinking to make a comeback in media literacy is all I can do in the face of so many people reinventing the Coppola Wheel and stapling it over a work that is itself hammering the audience over the head with a plot about coercion and twisted relationships and murders committed en masse to make a girl put out for her stalker

Give it five years, we'll see Nosferatu: A Love Tale in theaters, directed by Luc Besson, in which the tragic Prince Orlok pines for the time displaced period piece goth girl, Ellen Murray, who is so very sick and tired of her boring boorish throwaway fiance, Thomas Hutter and longs for Orlok's leather clad embrace.

[glycerineclown]

ddba-compliant "what happened in between frank reappearing after the blip and karen leaving new york" current word count: 10,264

i am NOWHERE NEAR finished. there is femdom happening. frank is getting back in touch with himself in a big way. karen's reading him the riot act. frank is a stubborn son of a bitch. also WHY did i buy tickets to a comedy show for born again finale night??

anyway here's the first 1300 words! 💀💕

-

It’s days like this that Frank hates how attached he is to driving a truck in New York. Curtis’ group meeting started five minutes ago, and he’s been circling the surrounding blocks for fifteen, looking for parking. 

Finally, a delivery vehicle pulls away from a curb, and Frank is able to snag the spot. He gets out quickly, feeds the meter with a handful of coins from his cupholder, and starts toward the church.  

He’s still a block and a half south when the screaming starts, up and down the street, all around him. 

His gaze darts to the rooftops above, looking for a shooter, but the trees lining the sidewalk are lush with greenery and he can’t see shit—and then he’s knocked into by a woman staggering out of a shop. Her groceries slip from her shoulder, oranges rolling, but before he can even steady himself, her body just—fades, disintegrates, until all that’s left of her is some kind of grey-brown matter.

Frank blinks, sure he’s dreaming. 

After that, he witnesses six different car crashes in the space of a minute. Closest impact, a yellow taxi with a crunched front end—Frank approaches from the drivers’ side, expecting to see airbags at the very least, but no one’s inside, all the doors still closed and locked.

Cries for help, then, banging on a window, and Frank turns to look. Another crashed car, this one with a crying girl in the back seat. He hurries over, tries the doors. Frank squints through the glass again, starts to ask how badly she’s hurt—maybe she could climb into the drivers’ seat and hit the unlock button—but then he feels a strange tickle on the back of his neck, down his arms. 

Frank watches the girl’s horrified expression as parts of his chest begin flaking away, as his knee collapses under him. There’s no pain, which is weird. 

This is probably a dream anyway.

Everything goes quiet, and dark like he’d blinked a little too long—

—and then it all comes back in a rush of wind. 

The car and the kid are gone, it’s raining all of a sudden, and he’s on his back, on the asphalt. People are running, screaming—Frank gets to his feet and takes off, out of the street. 

It’s about as chaotic as a warzone, like the immediate aftermath of a suicide bomb—people bleeding, crying, running, do you have a cell phone, I need to call my wife—have you seen a little boy, his name is Angelo—I’m not getting any goddamn bars on this thing—and people materializing, reappearing out of thin air, as confused as Frank is.

It’s so loud. The trees are half-bare, dry orange leaves grinding under his boots.

Frank may as well check the church first. He runs to the corner to cross with several others before the light changes, and then one more block.

The place was never fancy, not magnificent like some of the cathedrals that have been in this city since before his parents were born—but it looks different, dirty and overgrown, the cheerful flower beds now shriveled—and when he yanks the handles on the carved wooden doors, they’re locked. He’s definitely got the right building, there’s still the same coffee shop across the street.

It’s beyond weird, but if Frank knows Curtis, he’ll be out doing what he can, helping.

Frank turns back in the direction he’d come, back toward his truck, and reaches into his pocket for his phone. In upper right corner of the screen are two words: NO SERVICE. Frank goes to his contacts anyway, and pulls up Karen’s number. When he hits call, nothing happens. 

“Are you getting a signal?” a man asks, when he sees Frank with his phone out. “Mine’s not working.” The man looks desperate, and a little like he’s seen a ghost.

Frank apologizes tightly and keeps walking, picks back up to a run once he’s past the crosswalk, but when he returns to the place where he’d parked—it couldn’t have been more than ten minutes ago, right outside an H&R Block—the truck is nowhere to be found. 

The H&R Block is boarded up.

He doesn’t know what this is, but it can’t be good. His heart’s pounding, his hands itching for the gun he left in the glove compartment. He’d guess Karen’s at work at this hour, and he’ll take the chance on foot, since Nelson’s Meats is a lot closer than her apartment in Williamsburg. Who knows what all this will turn into. 

Frank points himself toward Hell’s Kitchen and starts running. Along the way, he sees more stuff he doesn’t like—small children by themselves, dogs with leashes trailing on the ground. An elderly woman says something that sounds pleading, but he can’t understand the language she’s speaking. 

Way too many of the bodegas and restaurants he passes are boarded up or have yellowed newspaper in the windows. Buildings with obvious fire damage. 

Through open windows and on front porches, Frank can hear people screaming. 

What are you doing here? Get out of my apartment! 

What do you mean, you’re the manager? I’ve been the manager o’ this joint for fifteen years!

¡Esta es mi casa!

But people are hugging, too, crying. Oh, you’re back from the dead!

They’re maybe the longest two and a half miles of his life. He can’t get distracted. He can be a do-gooder once he knows if Karen’s okay.

After he hits 10th Avenue, he takes a left, then four more blocks—he thinks West 46th is the right street, but it’s only when he sees the green and yellow sign that he knows he was right.

Frank skids to a stop, panting, overheated, thirsty. He wipes a shaking hand over his face. A placard, Nelson, Murdock & Page, is by the door, still shiny black and gold. He peers in the window—the lights are on—and he tries the handle, but it’s locked. Frank raps his knuckles on the glass, and a figure standing inside turns around.

It’s Foggy Nelson, in a suit, his shorter hair a little messed up in the front. As he gets closer to the window, his eyes go wide, and he unlocks the door. A bell jingles overhead as Foggy pushes it open.

“Counselor.”

“Oh my god,” Foggy says. “You’re back too. I just got off the phone with my dad in Tampa, my mom’s beside herself—”

Frank walks in and looks around as the door shuts behind him. The relief is real, but this familiar face isn’t enough, not yet. “Is—is Karen here?”

“Yeah, yeah, she’ll be so—” Foggy steps back. “Karen!”

“On the phone!” comes her voice, from another room. 

Frank heads in the direction of the doorway, but stops before she’s in his field of vision, because Karen’s laughing, almost hysterical. It might be enough, just to hear her.

“Oh, I can’t believe this,” she says. “Please let me know if you need anything, I’m still in Williamsburg—yeah, yes, definitely.”

Frank shuffles forward, and there she is. Karen’s wearing a dress he’s never seen before, her hair a few inches shorter than he remembers. She looks up, and their eyes lock. Her mouth drops open to gape at him, her eyes filling with tears.

“Ellison, I—I gotta go,” she says, and hangs up the phone.

She gets to her feet slowly, and comes around the side of her desk, until she’s standing right in front of him, close enough to touch. She exhales his name like it’s a sob, and throws her arms around him.

Just like that, all the tension in Frank’s body dissipates. He cups the back of her head, feels his own eyes well up as she presses her face into his neck. 

“You’re all sweaty,” she says, sniffling, and laughs.

“Yeah, I ran here from—” He frowns over at Foggy in the doorway. “What the fuck happened?”

“You’ve been gone,” Foggy says. “Half the population has been gone, for five years.”

“Bullshit.”

“No,” Karen says, pulling back to see his face, shaking her head. “No, it’s—” she turns back to her desk, and picks up a copy of the New York Bulletin, pointing at the date on the front page: October 16, 2023. “This is from yesterday. It’s 2023 for us, Frank.”

Frank breathes out. This is probably a dream anyway.

[babyboydaniel]

Knock, Knock (M) | Part 1

Daniel Ricciardo x Fem!Reader | Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lando really needs to learn how to knock.

Smut, Fluff | Warnings: 18+, Fingering, Semi-Public, Masturbation, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, very slight Somnophilia | Word Count: 2K

Walking into the McLaren hospitality for the first time was nerve-wracking. You had been dating Daniel for over a year but you had not accompanied him to a race. Not that you did not want to. No, it was the opposite. Unfortunately, your job kept you busy, and your schedule never lined up with the race weekends. But work slowed down enough for you to fly out to Austin with Daniel. Giving you the chance to support him during one of his favorite races of the season.

Daniel held your hand in his, providing comfort as you walked through the building. Everyone seemed to want to stop and talk to him. Not that it surprised you. He is the type of person everyone gravitates towards. His warm and welcoming smile, the way his beautiful eyes concentrated when people talked. It is hard not to love him. You were head over heels, so you can’t blame them. But, as person after person came up to him, Daniel’s hand never left yours. Making sure you were close at all times. Smiling down at you when given the chance and introducing you to those you have never met.

Eventually, you made your way through the hoards of people and you found your way to Daniel’s driver’s room. It was small, but you welcomed the seclusion. You are not used to all the attention. Daniel and you were pretty private, keeping your relationship to yourselves. Whole heartedly loving each other in your own little bubble. Only letting a select few witness it. 

“Sorry, I did not expect that there would be so many people here by now,” Daniel apologized as he wrapped his arms around you. His beautiful amber eyes locking on to yours. 

You could get lost in them, spend hours just staring at him.

“It’s okay, it’s a good problem to have,” you responded, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Suppose so,” Daniel said as he dipped his head to capture your lips.

You sighed into the kiss. Your lips parted to take Daniel’s bottom lip between yours, gently sucking and biting it. Teasing him. Before pressing your lips back to his. Daniel moaned as he returned the gesture. Pulling your body flush against his. Using his lips and tongue to leave you absolutely breathless and compliant. 

Kissing Daniel was one of your favorite activities. It was all about give and take until he got fed up with your games and took all for himself, forcing you to submit to him. He knew exactly what to do to turn you into a utter mess. 

As Daniel grabbed your ass, pressing his semi to your covered core, you ground against him as you whined the sound of the door being opened caused you both to jump. 

“Daniel, are you in-.”

You glanced over Daniel’s shoulder to see who the intruder was. Your eyes met with Lando Norris, his hand still resting on the doorknob as he stood halfway in the doorway. His pink mouth hung open as his eyes shifted to Daniel’s arms still around your waist.

“Shit. Sorry, they just need us for some media, and I knocked a couple of times. You didn’t respond,” Lando rambled, his cheeks tinted pink. Cute, you thought. 

Turning to face him, Daniel laughed as he shook his head, “No worries, mate.”

It was at this moment that you could fully see Lando, now that Daniel was no longer blocking your line of sight. He looks like he did on TV. Devastatingly handsome but still holding onto that boyish charm. Unsurprisingly, he was wearing his papaya orange hoodie and black pants, even though it was hotter than the sun out. You smiled at him. He smiled back, a look of embarrassment still painted his features. 

As Daniel slipped his arm around your waist, he brought your attention back to him.

“Babe, as I am sure you know, this is Lando. Lando, this is Y/N, my girlfriend,” Daniel gestured between the two of you as he introduced you.

“Hi,” you responded, stretching out your hand to shake.

Lando took your hand in his. Wow, his hands are big, floated through your mind as his slender fingers covered yours. 

“Nice to meet you,” he mused. His fingers softly trailed over your skin as he pulled his hand back to rest at his side. His gaze not leaving yours. Questioning, but assured. He smirked. 

Daniel cleared his throat, “Alrighty, now that we all know each other, I guess we should go get that media stuff done.”

Lando nodded and turned to leave the two of you to say your goodbyes.

Daniel pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “I will be back as soon as possible.”

You smiled up at your loving boyfriend and kissed him one last time before you pushed him out the door. Once alone, you flung yourself onto the small sofa in the room with a groan. Your mind wandered to Lando and his hands, how he looked at you, and the blush on his cheek when he walked in on you. Did he hear you moan? He had to. For some reason that made you feel hot, your thighs pressing togther at the thought. 

Get it together, you chastised. You barely know the guy, and you were in a loving committed relationship. Fuck, the last thing you need is to be thinking about Lando. Especially when you were here to cheer on your boyfriend, Daniel. You pressed your palms against your eyes, hoping to erase the images from your mind. 

You were not up to walking around by yourself, and it seemed like there was no better time to catch up on the book you were reading. So, with the novel in hand you curled up on the couch. In a couple turns of the page you were sleeping. You awoke to Daniel running his fingers through your hair and softly calling your name. Your eyes slowly opened, and Daniel’s face came into focus.

“There she is,” he murmured.

You smiled at him, leaning into his touch, “Sorry, I guess the lack of sleep caught up with me.”

Daniel chuckled, “Don’t worry about it, babe. I am sorry I can’t be here to entertain you as much.”

You shook your head, “No need to apologize,” you understood that he had other priorities on race weekends.

“Did you enjoy your nap?” he questioned as he maneuvered you so you were snuggled into his lap.

Instinctually, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders as you nuzzled into his neck. You nodded your head. Daniel’s arms pulled you in tighter as he ran a hand up and down your back, comforting you. The two of you sat like that for a long time, you almost falling back asleep. Until a ding from Daniel’s phone broke through the quiet. Daniel shuffled under you to reach for his phone, stilling once he finally got it. He sighed.

“Fuck,” he grumbled, “they scheduled a last-minute interview in 15 minutes.”

“Boooo,” you joked. 

“I am sorry, babe. But I have to take off again,” he continued.

“I get it,” you mumbled, lips still pressed to his neck.

Daniel pulled you close, pressing a tender kiss to your temple before shifting you off his lap. With a kiss to your lips, Daniel was off again.

You picked up your book to continue where you left off but after a couple of steamy pages your mind had wandered elsewhere. The nerves from the morning had finally worn off and you began to think about your morning with Daniel. Your core throbbing just at the thought of it. You had woken up with his dick pressed into your back and his hand cupping your pussy. As you shook the sleep off, Daniel began rubbing your clit. Using your wetness to get you off. You were moaning and panting in no time, moving closer and closer to the edge. Begging him to fuck you or at the very least put his fingers in you. Then his fucking alarm went off, and Daniel immediately removed his hands from you. Fumbling to turn off the alarm and swung his legs over the bed.

“Daniel,” you had whined, “you aren’t going to finish what you started?”

Daniel looked down at you guiltily, “Fuck, sorry! We are so late, and I have media duties right when I get there.”

You sighed as you frustratedly fell against the pillows and glared at your boyfriend.

“I’ll make it up to you,” he reasoned.

So, you were forced to get ready and head to the track without a release. No longer feeling like you were going to throw up from anxiety your need to get off came back tenfold. Since Daniel denied you earlier, the least you can do is finger yourself while waiting for him to come back. Sucks to be him. 

With your mind made up, you laid back against the arm of the sofa with your legs spread open on the cushions. The cold air sent a shiver up your spine. As you got comfortable, you ran your hands over your breasts, gently massaging them before focusing your attention on your nipples. Your thumbs rubbed over the growing buds. You let out a breathy moan. You needed more.

Lucky for you, you wore a dress, easy access, as Daniel would say. Grabbing the hem of the dress, you pushed it up until it was bunched under your armpits. Your sheer white underwear on full display. You shivered just at the thought of Daniel seeing you like that. Spread out and on display for him. Your hands were back on your breasts. Pulling them from the confines of your bra. Your nipples hardened once touched by the cold air. Just that was enough to make you gasp. As one hand played and tugged at your nipples, your other hand trailed down until it met the edge of your underwear, teasing yourself.

You lightly brushed over your covered slit. Barely touching your clit throught the thin fabric. Just enough for you to want more. To work yourself up until you cannot take it any longer. You moaned louder this time. Biting your lip, you glanced towards the door. The thought of someone walking by or hearing you flitted through your mind. But, you were too turned on to stop. So, you pressed against your clit a little harder, imagining that Daniel was touching you.

You could feel your underwear begin to get wet where your juices dripped from you. It was only then that you allowed yourself to push your underwear around your thighs and touch your clit. The whine that left your mouth would have been heard if anyone was walking by. That only spurred you on more. Wanting people to hear how gone you were for your boyfriend, even when he is not the one touching you. Slowly, you circled that orgasmic bundle of nerves, edging yourself while your other fingers pushed into you. The feeling was euphoric. Not as good as when Daniel did it, but you took what you could at the moment. The sound of how wet you were as your fingers pumped turned you on more. Your arousal was obvious and the room smell like it. It was intoxicating while you increased the speed of your fingers pumping into you and rubbing your clit faster as you were quickly approaching your orgasm.

“Fuck,” you moaned.

Your fingers pressed against your G-spot, and it was all over. With your back arched and toes curled, you heard the door open. Your eyes were wide as you peeked to your right. Meeting the gaze of the onlooker. But you could not stop as your orgasm racked your body. You were coming as your release leaked out around your fingers. A strangled moan fell from your lips.

“Fuck,” they whispered, their lustful blue eyes locked on your dripping fingers still stuffed in your pussy.

You squealed as it finally sunk in that Lando Norris witnessed you coming all over your fingers.

At the noise, his eyes moved to look at you, tongue reaching out to wet his lips. He smirked at you.

What the fuck were you going to tell Danny, you thought.

Part 2

[crackersandjuice]

EVBO???? EVBO YOUR FUCKING MIND HOLY SHIT???

pvpciv the lore the LOREEEEEEEE. oh my god. Oh My God. i have. So Many Thoughts. like. Like. this is going under a cut i need to Ramble.

why are the shields grouped with the swords. parrot didn't mention anything about them fighting with the other civs so maybe they allied with the swords??? or the other groups also send them there as punishment??? but the first one is probably more likely because shields can't do damage they can only defend. also sword and shield imagery ya know.

(side note: i am So Glad guard friend "raymond" pvpciv doesn't know shit lol. my guardbo heart couldn't take it if he was yet another person that betrayed evbo.)

and why the fuck can't the swords use multiple items!! is it like a trade off with the whole netherite thing?? they can become immortal but they can only use said source of immortality as a weapon. does that make sense i hope it makes sense.

the memory loss!! if players aren't spawned into their civilizations and are instead spawned out into the world, maybe swordciv wipes their memories so they don't want to leave. but that in turn just makes their lives a living hell because they fight each other AUGH. just don't make an economy y'all don't make your society have to pay for shit with the very thing you need to live </3

TABI. TABI FUCKING. HER. IM LOVE HER. i am Not abandoning my found family goodness you can pry that from my cold dead hands but!! her betrayal OH that was so good. she either does have some attachment to evbo or she probably has some further use for him if she spared him like. maybe she's trying to goad him into following her?? idk why she would but it's a possibility!

what else...OH YEAH the animation! qdandy chef's kiss i am eating it up like a bowl of spaghetti.

oh god...oh god my fics are gonna be soooo non-canon compliant. test drive lovers we live in ignorant bliss over in that au o7. but!! i am also Very Very excited to explore the new lore in other fics. this bouta make my "evbo gets turned into a spectacle" au go wild.

[bookwormbynight]

Do you have any death note fic recommendations? :3

I'VE BEEN GETTING SO MANY ASKS idk if y'all are different people or just one or what but either way I love blabbing on the internet about my opinion so I am NOT mad about the attention 💖

When in doubt, pretty much anything in my AO3 bookmarks page. I'll link straight to the death note ones for ya.

I'm currently in the process of rereading Rabbit Holes. I basically read that one in two sittings the first time. Light is the first sentient AI and L figures out that he's alive. The whole thing is kind of an exploration of trust, consent, and personhood v being human.

Other than that, let's do a top ten list so I don't spend three hours listing fifty different fanfics, shall we?

Ah fuck this constraint is gonna hurt me though 🫠

THESE ARE ARRANGED BY WORD COUNT NOT FAVORITISM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO WHITTLE THIS SHIT DOWN

Memento Mori - Light confesses to being Kira after getting raped just after he gets off the chain in order to cash in on that execution check L promised. L doesn't know what the fuck is going on, but he's gonna keep Light alive until he feels satisfied with the answer.

Offer Me My Deathless Death - L is a vampire who met Light the first time hundreds of years ago. Every time Light dies, he's born again more twisted than he was before. This affects the canon storyline.

Gag Order - L's team finds Light underground in Italy with his jaw wired shut. It's very found-family with a hint of shinigami magic.

Degrees of Freedom - L and Light fall in love during the Yotsuba Arc, and L's desire to keep it trumps his desire to meet Kira again, so he fucks some shit up himself. The age gap is emphasized.

all in a day's work - Light is a porn star and L is a "very demanding top" (he makes Light come twice while Light's actively trying not to).

Sola Fide - Light didn't get to Naomi Misora before Naomi got to L, so he gets the Misa treatment.

Light Yagami Doesn't Have A Fire Extinguisher In His Room (& Other Cautionary Tales) - Light's DESK BOMB goes off and burns the notebook and Light's memories, and the rest of the fanfic is a fucking comedy exploring the consequences.

Atheists - It's an AU but it's canon compliant. But also not. You just have to read it dude I swear.

The Desire of Gods - I can't summarize this one either read it coward. Yotsuba Arc shenanigans.

catch a falling knife - L shaves Light's face and somehow it fucks me up.

[lilolilyr]

Mostly a generic Witcher series moodboard but I did make it while reading the Accidental Warlord series by @inexplicifics and I can only recommend everyone read it as well it's really good <3

~~~ continue reading ~~~

The problem with reading extremely amazing more than book length with spin offs canon-divergence fic big on the divergence part? There's no way I'll go back to normal fic after this because this is way better than anything canon related! Oh well, it's nice while it lasts, and there are always other fandoms to go to for a long while until I've forgotten this series enough that I can read more canon compliant shit again xD

On the topic of forgetting things tho - I do that quite quickly and frequently, so I write summaries of longfics and series I read especially wips, and this one turned too long for the Ao3 bookmark - even though I'm only summarizing the main fics where the plot happens - so here we go instead! reading feb25, am at 21/1 making this post, but I'll keep updating the summary. Which, yeah, the rest of the post is my excuse to keep the summary on tumblr xD

Oh also, i had read the star wars version of this by BairnSidhe first before i even realized it's based on this! The fic is also very very good.

more like it: https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Inspired%20by%20The%20Accidental%20Warlord%20and%20His%20Pack%20Series%20-%20inexplicifics/works

~

spoilers p1 - with a conquering air

Jaskier is sent as a tribute, given up as a sacrifice by his family and the other royalty, who think he'll be raped and killed by the Witchers.

When Eskel meets him in Kaer Mohen, he frees Jaskier from his bindings and brings him to Gerald and Yennefer. When she finds out he's a bard she decides Geralt needs a court bard, and Jaskier stays with them. He also tutors Ciri.

Jaskier finds that Geralt is kind, nice to Ciri, lets his friends tease him... and Geralt is hot. Jaskier starts falling in lust and love with him, and a year after he arrives they get together

spoilers p4 - only love proudly and gladly and well

Jaskier's home country negotiates a treaty with the Witchers. Jaskier rewrites the whole thing in their favor and accompanies the witchers and Yennefer there.

Jaskier helps clear up misconceptions about the Witchers to some younger court people, among them Milena of Roggeven, telling to them all about how nice the witchers treated him despite him being sent as a sacrifice, and how he fell in love with Geralt.

The witchers learn that way about him being a sacrifice in the first place. They have his father sent away, threatening to kill him should they ever see him again, and have the king sign the treaty without any changes.

Back home, several eligible women come to court Geralt. Yennefer and Jaskier make plans to make their stay miserable, as well as creating a set of rules for potential wives, including needing to accept Ciri as heir, and getting her approval for the position.

Jaskier also thinks about whether he wants his relationship with Geralt to be made official and decides that if Geralt wants that, he wants it too.

Milena is one of the ladies in waiting sent with the women, befriends Jaskier and falls in love with Lambert.

A princess attacks Jaskier, he survives, she is sent home via portal accompanied by angry witchers. The other women are kicked out, except Milena who swears loyalty.

spoilers p9 - your faults had made me love you more

Milena finds her place in Kaer Moen, teaching Ciri, helping Yennefer with Geralt's correspondence, sending letters home, helping Triss in the still, doing embroidery, learning dagger fighting from Lambert and teaching him to braid her hair.

Milena gets together with Lambert

Zofia, a human fighter woman and another witcher's lover, has some advice for her: to wait until she's ready to sleep with him, where a more private place to bathe is during her monthlies, and that witchers' lovers end up almost as immortal as the witchers themselves.

spoilers p11 - Twirl Three Notes and Make a Star

The witcher is invited to an even festival. Jaskier, Ciri and 13 witchers incl Eskel journey there also so Jaskier and Ciri won't be home for the Witcher Trials. They save a family of elves from a monster and Ciri befriends the kid.

Eskel and Jaskier grow closer. Jaskier knows Geralt would take Eskel to bed if he asked and suspects Eskel thinks the same of Geralt. Once they meet at the festival all three get together.

Jaskier meets a historian elf and invites him to Kaer Morhen to write the Witcher histories.

spoilers p14 - I Have Heart-Fire and Singing to Give

At some point I think before this part

Jaskier goes to Oxenfurt with Milena and 20 witchers to guard them incl Eskel and Lambert. During his performance, Milena is kidnapped through a portal and before they can do anything Jaskier is kidnapped through another one, Eskel stabbed as he follows them.

The plot was made by Milena's sister Marta, the princess Agatha who stabbed Jaskier before, and a sorceress. Marta wants the shame of her sister living with witchers removed from her family, Agatha just wants revenge.

Jaskier bandages Eskel, Milena has hairpins to unlock their shackles and hidden daggers from Lambert. When they confront them, Agatha tries to stab Milena and Milena kills her. Jaskier knocks out the sorceress, and the spell hiding them is lifted so Yennefer can find them.

Marta begs them not to have her actions affect her family and their little sister Marika. Jaskier offers for Marta to go into exile in a part of the wolf's country where they stopped on their way to an elf festival, in return for the baron's daughter becoming another lady in waiting for Ciri, so Marta won't have to be killed

spoilers p20 - The Debt Is Terrible That Must Be Paid In Song

Jaskier is temporarily turned into 6y/o Julian, scared of his own father and any adult men in power.

Smelling his dear and being angry of his father's treatment of him, Aubrey, who looks out for him like an older brother, realizes the treatment of the witchers-to-be is wrong. Once Jaskier is turned back, it is put to a vote, and decided that the training will change - from now on they will be trained like Ciri is, and she will train with them.

Spoilers p24 - the Shadow of the Mountains Will Not Fall

Geralt is dangerously injured in a plot by the king of temeria. He lives but requires many potions. Ciri organizes the trainees to help brew more while Jaskier organizes the rest of the castle.

Eskel kills the king and anyone else in the plot, then puts Griffin, a minor baron from the countryside who had no idea what's going on, on the throne.

In p25 we learn Emhyr var Emreis actually had something to do with the plot. He then learns who Ciri is and decides they need to try diplomacy instead.

Spoilers p28 - Found At Last In Meeting Eyes

Griffin, the new King of Temeria, needs a wife to establish his lineage and to help him rule the basically completely new court because everyone from the old one was killed... he asks the Warlord for aid in finding him a wife.

He has help from his older sister Tara in running the household, but they're worried about their youngest sister, 14 y/o Nix, who is a wildling and wouldn't do well at court, and while that's alright for a baron's youngest, it's not for a princess, and she'd be in danger if left home for much longer but miserable at court or married off... He and Tara decide that it will be a good question to pose to any potential wives(queens), will they try to break Nix's spirit or understand the true difficulties or even have valuable advice?

Marika, middle sister of Roggeven, decides that Milena is the only person in her family worth anything, and also her only chance at a good life, and begs her sister to find her a husband. She takes her dowry and her loyal maid Kasia and two guards and leaves for Kaer Morhen.

Jaskier introduces Marika and Griffin without telling them their true identities, so Marika only learns he's a king once she's already interested in him. Milena reassures her that she's a proper match for a king - not just a duke's daughter, but basically a sister by marriage to the Warlord through Milena and Lambert.

Marika suggests Nix could be a lady in waiting for Ciri.

P30 - Oh, Be For Me The Sky

Cat witcher Dragonfly comes across Livi, young noble Redanian noblewoman Oliwia, while on patrol, and Livi begs sanctuary from the White Wolf. She's fleeing from an arranged marriage to an older noble known for killing his wives and other young girls.

Livi stays in Kaer Morhen as Eskel's secretary and falls in love with Dragonfly.

Because the king clearly isn't keeping his nobles under control, Geralt wants to declare war on Redania.

P35 - Into the Light Out of Darkness

They plan to go Redania and observe to find more obvious breeches of the treaty because Cintra etc would be mad about conquering for just some 'minor' infractions. The plan is to go on 'progress' touring the established territory + visiting Redania to talk to the king about what's going on there and hopefully find a good reason to get rid of him

Meanwhile, Milena's friend Aleksander 'Sasha' is made Duke after the old Duke Oliwia was supposed to marry dies. Aleksander learns from the King and a mage that they have taken a witcher prisoner in Aleksander's new home and are using his blood on girls turning them into almost-witchers but killing most of them in the process. The Mage makes it so he can't talk about it to anyone, and stays with him to watch his correspondence. He has a magic box for writing Milena though and secretly sends her a letter.

Now, the Witchers have a reason to go to war. King Eist of Cintra and young Prince(?) Xenon of (?)(can't keep the damn names straight) bear witness to make sure Calanthe etc won't think the Warlord is conquering for no reason. They go to free the Witcher and young Zia, an outspoken former peasant girl, and Maja, Ada and Elena, burn down the house, then go kill the king. Aleksander comes to Kaer Morhen, his brother is the new Duke.

P38 - That Is Born Out Of Agony

(skipped C1 bc rape warning) Renfri, after killing a man who meant to hurt her, and on the run from mage Stragomir, decides to go to the Witchers for justice, even if they will slay her because she is cursed. If anyone kills her, it should be the White Wolf.

She stumbles into a dwarf tunnel, and journeyman Gilmeth takes her to his family home. Renfri uses the name Shrike and doesn't say she's royal. Gilmeth's grandfather has business with the Wolf (Renfri's stepmother allows mistreatment of nonhumans) and takes her and Gilmeth through dwarven routes to the mountain. Once they get back above ground, Stregomir finds them, but so do two witchers, they put an anti magic chain on him and Renfri and they all swear not to do harm, she swears not to do them harm of her free will, and they're taken to Kaer Morhen.

Geralt slays Strgomir for his lies and allows Renfri to stay as long as she likes. Ciri introduces her to Zofia. The dwarves also stay and design a better gatehouse as Gilmeth's mastery. Renfri's stepmother is killed by Witcher Coën who Renfri befriends, Renfri's father didn't know but also doesn't seem to care about her much except trying to avoid looking at her because she looks like his late wife. Renfri stays in Kaer Morhen.

P44 - Flung to Catch a Star

Emrys of Nilfgard sends prince Morvran Voorhis to negotiate a treaty with the White Wolf.

When Letho and other witchers meet the Nilfgardians and have them swear not to harm anyone in Kaer Morhen, three groomers and Morvran's personal manservant lie. The manservant had orders from a Nilfgardian royal (Evertsen not Emrys) to kidnap Ciri, the groomsmen had orders to hurt the horses, two for their own gain, one, Ilimar Laret, because his Lord threatened Laret's wife. He's taken with them and the wife rescued, the rest is killed.

Morvran has orders to both get the treaty and win Ciri's hand in marriage, and didn't expect that she's not open for political marriage, or any marriage until she's 18. When Geralt asks him why he even wants to be emperor, and explains that he and Ciri will be leaders only to protect people, Morvran reconsiders and vows to be a man the Witchers can respect.

Morvran's knight bodyguard(?) Cahir spends time with the oldest Witcher trainees, a mixed school group incl. Eryk, who has a puppy love crush on Eskel. Cahir is in Emrys service as a political hostage, and comes to trust and believe in Movran properly during their time in Kaer Morhan when Movran invites him to speak freely, listens to him, takes him into his personal service, and offers him use of his first name in private. Sergeant Hanif is also part of some of their meetings.

Geralt says no treaty as long as Evertsen has any power, Emrys sends them Evertson as a prisoner and he's killed. Yennefer can make portals to and from Nilfgard much easier than should be possible, Jaskier suspects it's because she's getting so much practice.

While treaty proceedings are underway, Princess Rhiannon of Poviss comes to ask for Poviss to join the Warlord's lands because it's the sensible thing to do. Geralt accepts and it will be official when they'll visit Poviss during Progress. When Cahir hears of this, he's at first angry because Poviss gives up the kind of independence his own country (Vicovaro) wishes it had from Nilfgard, but he understands Wolfland isn't Nilfgard.

~

The treaty is finally made with three conditions: from the Wolf, a) that Movran tells Emrys Ciri won't come to Nilfgard except to conquer it as long as there are slaves, and b) (secret to anyone else), Movran swears to work towards a Nilfgard that no longer has slaves. And from Emrys, that Ciri and Geralt will come and meet him on neutral ground.

P45 Wrapped in the Wind and the Sun

Yennefer meets Fringilla to renew their friendship and ally against the Brotherhood.

& Here's a couple

Other

Versions

Of

The moodboard :D

Main image sources here, more sources: Yennefer Eskel Ciri2 Geralt2 potions ruins Witcher

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3478006

[fenrysmoonbeamswife]

Your repeated complaints about how people draw Nesta are so insanely self centered. If you don’t like how people are drawing or commissioning Nesta, draw or commission Nesta artwork yourself!

This fandom has got far too much audacity to be complaining about the free artwork they are receiving at the expense of commissioners and/or the time and effort of artists.

No one owes you anything. Artwork doesn’t have to be canon compliant. Do it yourself if you’re not happy with the way people choose to depict her or is your only talent complaining on the internet?

My repeated complaints? You mean my one singular post? Yes very repetitive I'm so sorry for bombarding you with these numerous posts

So it's audacious to want a character to look like themselves? It's audacious to want people to not over sexualize and fetishize female characters constantly? Fanart doesn't have to be canon but when it's a struggle to find fanart of a canonically modest character that isn't sexualized, there's a bigger problem and I'm going to point it out

I never said anyone owed me anything I just pointed out how fucking weird it is and I stand by that. And I don't owe you or artists anything either btw, I'm allowed to point out whatever the fuck I want actually and if you don't like it you can see yourself out. Hypocrite

Yes I am very talented at complaining, thank you so much for noticing anon. Is your only talent being a coward? Try say this shit to my face 😊

[astral-scout]

nobleflower hcs pls

omg yay i love u <33333

nobleflower are my GIRLS they are so dear to me. trust that they are always on my mind just floating around in there. yapping got out of hand and it is completely incoherent im so sorry

not really a headcanon but i love music and i associate everything with songs so. i just made a list of songs i associate with them!

ivy by taylor swift -- their theme song sorry not sorry

illicit affairs by taylor swift -- post breakup nobleflower where theyre absolutely a disaster!!!!! i eat that up

you're losing me by taylor swift

casual by chappell roan

good luck babe by chappell roan -- both povs sort of work i have to be honest. but i think alice would be more self aware about her sexuality and thus the chappell in this situation

we're in love by boygenius -- this one is kind of canon-compliant with alice being crucio-d by bellatrix & losing her memory.. because "if you dont remember i will try to remind you of [etc]"

christine by lucy dacus -- kind of au-y. as in i've written an au set to this song. and the "if you get married" verse drove me to tears

bullseye by lucy dacus theres a lot of lucy dacus here bc i love lucy dacus and she writes very nobleflower songs imo

lacy by olivia rodrigo kinda has that . enemies to lovers vibe that they embody in my mind

modigliani by lucy dacus "you make me homesick for places i've never been" is so alice core to me !!! she Is home. but the "and even if it [the subject's boyfriend] doesn't fit, you'll still wear it / cause if it's what you want, you're gonna get it" is . narcissa toward lucius to meee)

sister golden hair by america im not sure about this one . i lovelovelove this song and it came on while i was writing a nobleflower fic and i was like Yup this is them all right. idk. narcissa is blond i guess

daffodil by florence and the machine YES it is mostly because narcissa means daffodil . HOWEVER. i do have some justification for it in that "the helpless optimism of spring" and "sometimes i see so much beauty i dont think i can cope" are my alice)

troublemaker doppelganger by lucy dacus hear me out on this one ok . au where they have a messy break up and marry their canonical husbands etc etc and then being haunted by That Bitch their whole lives. this song is alice pov specifically "it couldn't have been you but she had your eyes / made for faking smiles and turning tides" are you hearing me. "was it that girl, that beautiful girl, thirsty for love and eager for attention / was it that girl who taught me about destruction?" ARE YOU HEARING ME "they made you a throne out of magazines, they made you a crown out of peonies" quintessential narcissa to mee.... also "is that a hearse or a limousine" simply SCREAMS the black family

night shift by lucy dacus i think most people know this one so. no explanation necessary

vampire empire by big thief yeah its them. did somebody say toxic yuri

anything by adrianne lenker (christmas eve w your mother and sis is druella and bellatrix btw . if they wouuld ever be in a situation where they meet alice LMAO) i dont wanna be the owner of your fantasy i just wanna be a part of your family... you held me the whole way through when i couldnt say the words like you / i was scared indigo but i wanted to <- narcissa pov song for once. i dont know why all these songs have been alice pov sorry

moon song by phoebe bridgers "and if i could give you the moon i would give you the moon... you are sick and youre married and you might be dying but youre holding me like water in your hands..." yeah

dreams by fleetwood mac post breakup again! "like a heartbeat drives you mad / in the stillness of remembering what you had / and what you lost .... say women they will come and they will go / when the rain washes you clean you'll know" yeah. alice. im on that haunting each other shit again

(you may have sensed by now that i have listened to approximately 5 artists in my entire life. yes i am slightly ashamed of it)

i looove academic rivals nobleflower. narcissa needs academic validation to function and alice is an Academic Weapon tm and they fuckng hate each other. but then they fall in love. you know that post that's like "i fear only one person has ever truly understood me and i fucking hate the guy" ? yeah thats nobleflower to me

however ! i think they could become friends in like . a homoerotic bound-to-end-badly kind of way. (they definitely had one of those sapphic homoerotic sleepovers and kissed and never talked about it again.) their friendship would be sort of like.. regina george and cady heron core kind of.. if cady didnt gaf about what regina tried to get her to do and couldnt stand the plastics

alice reads poetry for the sheer joy of it. the real love of her life is poetry and her favourite thing to do is curl up with a big mug of tea and read some poems. narcissa reads poetry because she is pretentious and wants to be liek, an Intellectual. that kind of vibe. (alice teaches her to love it for the right reasons eventually. they read sappho together like the lesbian losers they are)

since i am in university (unfortunately) i like putting them in my shoes because i hate them. i think narcissa woudl be an english, psychology, or anthropology major, and alice would be an engineering, music, health sciences, or biology major (i have a lot of Career Paths in mind for her). she could also do english for Rivalry reasons ( I AM AN ENGLISH MAJOR IF YOU COULDNT TELL)

alice would minor in something "political" (for lack of a better word) (gender studies, global studies etc) and she would be super political around campus, fighting for social justice. narcissa would not gaf (ultra privileged rich white girl that she is) and it would drive alice nuts (she is right). she would try to get narcissa to protest w her and narcissa wouuld be like ??? no ??? alice can fix her.

theres an au floating around my head where theyre rival lawyers who have to work together on a case.. and learn about each other along the way... and its set in new york and its raining... idk

i have also been thinking abt them in an orchestra........ narcissa on flute (because i played flute for 5 years and im determined to make it do SOMETHING for me) and alice on bass or violin.. minerva as the conductor... lots of drama

theyre so 90s core to me i dont konw why... i have like 3 separate 90s au nobleflower wips 😞 also vaguely-regency-era (I did not pay attention in history idk when that even was) britain.. yea

this ^ is like, The nobleflower picture if you look up their aesthetic on pinterest . its in everyones boards yaknow. but the pinterest people are right its them

thats all i got for now! thank u again for letting me yap about them <3 iam posting this right before i go to sleep so if theres some truly horrific typo or i missed something .. too bad! i am eepy.

[colubrina]

what does querying mean

Ah! OK. I forget that normal people don't know what this process entails.

So, if you want to be "trad" published (which basically means the kind of published that gets your book into bookstores) you will probably need a literary agent. Some small presses do not require that writers submit books for consideration through an agent, but pretty much every book you've ever heard of went through both a literary agent and a publisher that requires authors use them. So, how do you get a literary agent? You send a very specialized letter called a 'query letter', often with the first few pages of your novel, for them to read and decide if they want to 'represent' it, which means try to sell it for you in exchange for a 15% commission. The query letter I used for the 6th book I queried was this...

Dear [agent],

NO GOOD WITCHES is a 90,000-word YA speculative that will appeal to readers of A Deadly Education and Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. It’s a ‘girl goes evil and gets shit done while awe-stuck boy holds her purse so she can do the murders’ kind of book with popular tropes including found family, female friendship, dark academia, morally grey characters, power corrupts, and a romance where the boy is bad but the girl is worse (you could save him, I could make him worse; we are not the same).

Seventeen-year-old Calla watches the witch burnings on television along with everyone else in the United States. Witches can move things with their minds. They know what people are thinking. They’re terrifying, and dangerous, and the shows are a nationwide reminder that witches will not be tolerated. Her friends have never suspected Calla is one, and she needs to keep it that way. But when she answers a question before it’s asked in a history class, her future goes up in flames. She can read minds. She’s evil. Game over.

Caught and terrified, Calla is surprised when she isn’t dragged to a pyre, but to a hospital where she’s poked and prodded to find out how powerful she is. Turns out, good witches—compliant witches—don’t get sent to the stake. They get trained in hidden schools and sharpened into weapons. Their ability to manipulate matter powers the electrical plants and their mindreading gets used by the diplomatic corp. Calla doesn’t feel like getting burned alive, so she learns everything she can.

Including how she—and her new witch friends—can burn the system down rather than let powerful men exploit their magic.

By the time she’s done, there won’t be a single good witch left.

I was mentored in both the Pitch Wars and Author Mentor Match programs, and I was previously represented but my agent and I have amicably parted ways and this manuscript has never been on submission. I live in Connecticut with cats, my family, and some unhappy plants. I am not a witch.

Thank you,

Collie

I sent 69 versions of this query out, 2 of which were referrals (meaning a current client of the agent recommended me)

17 times the agent ghosted my query.

43 times the agent rejected at the query stage

7 times the agent requested more materials. (This is about a 10% request rate and is not great but not terrible either.)

2 times the agent ghosted the requested materials

3 times the agent rejected the additional materials

Once the agent offered me what's called a "revise and resubmit" where she sent some detailed edits I could do and then she would reconsider whether she wanted to rep it. I disagreed pretty strenuously with one of her suggestions (she wanted me to cut the romance) and so I didn't pursue it.

The whole process is tedious and unfun and pretty much necessary if you want your book to be in, say, Barnes and Noble. I do not enjoy it. I am going to do it for the seventh time starting this fall. Maybe I'll do a 'querying diary' the way I do a log of what I've written. That would be fun.

Ask me anything about querying. I am a bona fide expert on this.

[tennessoui]

kit's list of obikin fic recs in no particular order

y'all asked and i finally answered.....here's a list of fics i've read and adored this year! note that i've tagged things that i think could squick people (a/b/o dynamics, weird biology, dub con, heavy kink, etc), and i've noted the ratings (explicit, mature, teen), but i have not noted top/bottom (this list contains a pretty even split of both) and i haven’t indicated which are WIPs - take a chance! i've left little paragraphs as to why i liked the fic but i tried to keep spoilers out of them so the story can be a surprise :D

remember to leave a comment and a kudos if you enjoyed the fic :D

Igneous - zimriya Notes: Explicit, A/B/O dynamics, canon compliant, series!

Trying to find this fic so I could reread it was the thing that prompted me to make this list. That’s how amazing this fic is. It tears out your heart strings. It hurts. I love it. It’s soft. It makes me cry. I am never going to recover from this perfect retelling of canon. This hurts just as much as the kenobi show. I owe this author a medical bill and a thank you card. I don’t care if a/b/o isn’t your thing or omega obi-wan isn’t your thing i need you to try reading this fic i really do because it’s just honestly superb and beautiful prose and i think about some of these lines near daily. Ok, fine. Daily.

I’d Never Be Me (Without The Support of Your Loving Arms) by euryrice  Notes: Explicit

i don’t think i’ll ever stop talking or thinking about this fic, it’s up there for me….such a good take on a bond/spy au that I don’t think I’ll ever seriously try at one myself because it’d never be ‘i’d never be me without the support of your loving arms’; it’s just so well thought through. Canon lovingly applied. Kit beautifully moved and hungry for a second part of the series, even though it doesn’t even need a second part and is perfect as a stand alone. Witty banter rating: 10/10

Hooked On You by @whohatessand Notes: Explicit, infidelity, side anidala (padmé is being cheated on)

Dirty bad wrong never felt so good though; Anakin is cheating on his wife with her campaign manager. Anakin is very not satisfied with being a trophy husband, and honestly it’s so valid of him. This is so well-written that Anakin’s frustration with his life, his wife, his duties all feels very real and understandable. Does that excuse the cheating and the spit-as-lube fucking at a donor ball? Nah, but they know it doesn’t. And it ends on a very hopeful obikin note, which is my favorite

The Final Frontier of Pleasure by @jedibongrip Notes: Explicit, bp!Anakin, virginity kink (ish?)

“Just the tip” made into a very hot 2k fic wherein anakin’s definitely not a virgin anymore, but obi-wan’s gonna go along with it if it makes him happy (and means that he gets to keep touching him, god bless); note to say that all of this author’s stuff is very good!

Stars To Fill My Dreams by hidden_humours Notes: Explicit, reverse master/padawan, dark Anakin

Anakin is teetering on going off the walls insane in this fic and I am so here for it. This is just amazing. I love a padawan obi-wan and I especially love this time-travel with a twist (which I won’t spoil!); the summary even says “yeah this anakin isn’t all there” and the author is right!!! 100%!! I love it. I want to poke this Anakin with a stick. I want to push him off his metaphorical cliff of sanity. I want to push Obi-Wan off a cliff just to see what this Anakin would do. What a fic. What a goddamn fic.

Obi-Two by @virahaus Notes: Explicit, Obi-Wan/Anakin/Obi-Wan

Guys, holy shit I am so excited for this WIP you have no idea. Everything about it is delicious so far. The Obi-Wan that gets zapped back in time just before ROTS/Order 66 is living to see twunk Anakin again and he is so soft yet so commanding about it. Ben!Obi-Wan literally kills me in this fic. If there’s never another chapter, I’m begging you to read this anyway, it’s that good.

Vast as the sea, constant as the tide by @moonlightatnoon Notes: Explicit, pirate!anakin, captain!Obi-Wan

So maybe Kit’s attention was captured and held by the sea-themed title…she’s a simple lady. But this fic is absolutely beautiful.  I love the intrigue, the history, the pining of it all. My attention, much like Obi-Wan, was gently captured and held hostage by pirate Anakin and the way he’s like ‘my obi-wan <3 mine <3’ while also being a whole ass pathetic lil mew mew of a pirate. He is so possessive and fearsome and clingy and needy I love this Anakin and how much he needs his Obi-Wan. I love the ending especially! Beautifully done.

Buns of Steel by @ragnarlothcat Notes: Explicit, humor, himbos the both of them 

Put this under Fics That Make Kit Want To Join A Gym. I love the humor here (Rag has such a legendary way with a great turn of phrase and pacing of jokes that just makes the fic fly by) and the ridiculousness of it all. Obi-Wan here is extremely lovably bitchy and I adore it. His dialogue is quite polite, but this is a fic where the narration really makes the characterization pop. Also the amount of lusting after his beautiful aerobics instructor that Obi-Wan does…and how UNFAIR he finds Anakin’s beauty. Just amazing. Cheering for Obi-Wan living his best life and getting the hot aerobics instructor in the end.

My Thoughts I Confess (Verge On Dirty) by @artemisthehuntress Notes: Explicit, horny, horny, horny Obi-Wan

This is, of course, the other fic filed under Fics That Make Kit Want To Join A Gym. I love Anakin in booty shorts. I love Obi-Wan, head empty and no thoughts because his dick is too goddamn hard to see straight. One should not be exercising under such conditions. The humor here is impeccable. Love all of Obi-Wan’s fantasies with the hot guy working out next to him. If you’re a fan of horny-grip Obi-Wan, this is the fic for you! If you’re not as into horny-grip Obi-Wan, I’d say this fic is still worth the read because it’s just written so well.

just like the days we’d burn by @travellingcircus Notes: Explicit, PTSD mentions, heavy

I was always going to rec one of travellingcircus’ fics of course. They are a fantastic writer and I love their fics - especially the long oneshots that consume my entire night when I see that one’s been posted and I get to delve into a new side of obikin I could never imagine. This fic is one of my favorites by them – and maybe one of my favorite modern aus all together. Anakin has a racing career until he has an accident. Then he goes back to his small town and decides to have Obi-Wan instead because first love (I love first love fics especially in modern aus)!! Also Obi-Wan has a motorbike. This is excellent news. He also has helmet hair. I love Anakin in this fic so much. He’s crazy. He’s wounded. He’s obsessed. He’s in love. He’s desperate. And Anakin makes Obi-Wan all these things too. Such a good modern au for these characters. They feel so close to their canon characters, it’s marvelous.

Where Every Mask Cracks by skyl_tales Notes: Explicit, a spin-off of one of their other fics, but can be standalone

Skyl_tales’ fics for me are the very definition of fandom classic. They were the first fics I read and I continue to reread them roughly maybe once every year at least. They’re just all very readable. The writing style is something I have always loved and envied – their fics are approachable and entertaining, no matter how much you know or don’t know about Star War at the time of your reading. Tbh I think this is the fic author who has influenced my writing the most! I love this fic in particular because I do have a soft spot for vaderwan. Old Ben being delightfully torn up over Vader and Vader being delightfully unhinged about his former master…..with a magical fix-it device that restores both of them to their younger, strongest selves (if only to make the fucking easier and the horny insatiable)

Gay Chicken by zimriya Notes: Explicit, enemies to lovers, light daddy kink

Where to begin with this fic!!! I guess I cannot stress enough how much I love humor in fics when done right and this is done so well. Like it is literally so funny and so normal. There is something so beautiful about putting these space monk superheroes into like. Just situations. This fic is about laundry. But also upstairs neighbors. But also lost loves??? I’m always a bit hesitant for fics with a lot of notes/messages, because I can find that hard to read, but this was very, very easy to read, both format-wise and flow of the story wise. I love them both being assholes to each other.  Love them slowly becoming friends through notes under the monikers “501” and “212”. LOVE the twist.

wildest dreams by kidhuzural Notes: Explicit, 5+1 fic

Basically: Baby Anakin wants to get married to Obi-Wan. Teenager padawan Anakin wants to marry Obi-Wan. Clone Wars Anakin wants to marry Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan wants to marry Clone Wars Anakin. I love love love fics that start out with baby padawan Anakin and have him grow up. It places so much emphasis on their master&padawan relationship and how important they were to each other before AOTC or TCW, which I think is the strongest basis for obikin. Also this Anakin is just so cute and Obi-Wan cares for his baby padawan so much!! All in all, this fic is just so sweet. Obsessed.

In Pursuit of Cold Water by @jswander Notes: Mature, Merman!Anakin

Can I have a fic rec list that doesn’t include this fic?? I love this fic. I think I reread it like twenty times while waiting for the last chapter, and it was worth it and gripping and incredible each time. I am fascinated by writers who can worldbuild, and Jo worldbuilds so well in this mermaid AU. I love the descriptions of their fins; the possessiveness, the hurt, the anger, the jadeness, and the naivete of Anakin somehow all existing in the same character and all being so justified. There’s some really heavy moments and also really silly moments (they dress Anakin up as an old lady to avoid detection at one point). I love the development of their relationship and especially the growth of their mental bond. Such a good translation  of their Force bond in canon (and such a clever work-around for a mermaid not speaking English!) Just an amazing fic. So good.

The Devil’s In The Details by @ragnarlothcat Notes: Explicit, demon Anakin, darker!Anakin (because of the demon bit)

Back at it again with my Rag-writing obsession! I’m loving this WIP and how evil and innocent Anakin is. Yeah, he’s a demon haunting Obi-Wan’s new house; yeah, he’s killed like. A ton of people. But he’s so pathetic. So very eager to please. So very attractive. As a reader, you’re like Obi-Wan’s friend, Quinlan, who discovers Obi-Wan sleeping with a literal demon, and you’re like ‘bestie, do you not know? That’s a literal demon?’ and obi-wan is like ‘he is quite polite and does so good on our walks around town’ and you’re like ‘you’re taking him on walks???’ but also you can’t help but root for demon Anakin and poor decision-maker Obi-Wan. Also, once again, I love Rag’s humor and timing of it. The narration Obi-Wan has is so colorful and so fucking funny, I snort all the time. He’s such a bitch. He’s amazing.

By Omission by @posthumousvigor Notes: Explicit, reverse master/padawan au, drunk sex

This writer is very quickly becoming one of my favorites. I love their prose and the way they write Obi-Wan—especially padawan!Obi-Wan with Master Anakin. One of my favorite dynamics for obikin aus, and this writer gives me so much good food. TBH one of my all-time favorite cliches/tropes is one of them getting dressed up out of their Jedi robes to be put in Situations, and I especially love this for Obi-Wan cause Anakin got a whole movie of dressing up for funsies, and this fic delivers. Master Skywalker comes back early from a mission to find his padawan slutting it up in the Lower Levels, and what is a man to do other than snap?? And he snaps so beautifully in this fic. I love it when they’re horny beyond reason for each other.

how to stay by answersinahauntedclub Notes: Explicit, professor/student relationship

I know logically that this fic probably will not update again, but it is so beautiful and I think about it all the time. It is like. The peak of college/university aus in this fandom. Bold statement, I know, but I love this fic and characterization so much that I am stating it. They’re both disasters. They can’t resist each other even if they really, really should. It’s an incredible read and I am fascinated by both this Obi-Wan and this Anakin. Cannot stress enough the lovable disasters that they are. In writing this, I took an hour break and reread it again.

we’re swimming with the sharks (until we drown) by @obiwaned Notes: Teen, fake/pretend relationship

Getting this update notification felt like such a sweet sweet win for me. I loved the premise as soon as I read it and it just keeps getting better. Fake marriage for any reason is always amazing. I also LOVE non-linear timelines and this writer does it so well because you as the reader don’t get lost and confused trying to keep the timeline straight. It’s delectable, it’s straightforward, it’s so easy to devour, and I am obsessed with this fic and even the possibility of more.

Self-Insert by ZenyZootSuit Notes: Teen, crack

God this is so funny in a very crack way. Short and funny and perfect. Darth Vader writes self-insert fanfiction about being with Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Darth Sidious finds out. Imperial secrets are leaked, but I’m sure those were important details he needed to include!! For context! Realism! Absolutely perfect; no notes.

Open Circle by Calyss Note: Explicit, Dark Obi-Wan, dom/sub (under)tones, seduction to the Dark side

This is also one of my annual rereads, and one of my absolute favorite Sith Obi-Wans in the fandom. I love how out of control this sith Obi-Wan is, how very obsessed with just Anakin he is. Sith Obi-Wan really said “he’s mine” and he’s gonna destroy Anakin’s marriage and the whole galaxy to prove it. And also Anakin is not going to say no or resist much at all because that’s his master and he loves him and has weird feelings for him he has not really examined. This is also such an id fic of mine. But no regrets putting it on the list. When I saw it updated in October 2022, I literally cleaned my room and improved my life before I sat down to read it.

How to Save a Galactic Republic Without Really Trying by @sharpest-tongue Notes: Mature, Post Kenobi show

So many amazing fics came out of the Kenobi show but this absolutely has to be one of my favorites. There’s humor, there’s touching moments, there’s Star Wars lingo I didn’t know but that made the whole thing feel very much in-universe (and that I have now incorporated into my Star Wars Wikipedia slash Dictionary for later use, even if it’s all made up). I love a time travel fic, has to be said, and this one delivers perfectly. The Jedi as family in this fic really made me emotional. Extra special shout out to Obi-Wan, raising his padawan again in a do-over, and thinking, ‘i was not this bad as a teenager wtf?? Yeah ok whatever i MAY have fought in TWO WARS at that age but still!!!’ love him. Love his obvious blind spots for anakin and also for himself. Such a good fic!!!

broken bones, thunder drums by @maragny Notes: Teen, hurt/comfort

There is so much to love about this fic and I love it all. Clone War fics are like my bread and butter in this fandom. I love obikin fics that take place in the middle of battle where the reader is confronted with the reality of either Anakin or Obi-Wan fighting – and this fic really starts by throwing you into the action in such a visceral, effective way that I was stressed! I was gripped! It makes Anakin hiding his injury feel not only understandable but also like the only option. Good think Obi-Wan is there to save the day and help Anakin through his pain because he is overprotective and in love with him. Also the first chapter is told from Rex’s point of view, which just. One of my favorite outsider POVs for obikin is Rex.

no news is good news by @rhymenoceros Notes: Mature, crack, relationship reveal, breaking news/news cycle format

This fic is so funny! The tone is perfect for what the writer sets out to do — that is, make the reader feel like they’re caught up in a social media news cycle! There’s talk shows, there’s paparazzi, there’s space reddit, there’s leaked Jedi text conversations….the Jedi screen names are hilarious and easy to tell who is who while still staying true to the joke. Cannot recommend this fic enough. Cute, funny, horny, and with that sweet sweet Palpatine downfall that the best cracky fics always have.

Falling Deep Into You by @dark--whisperings Notes: Explicit, dom/sub tones, so much pining

Any fic that has the tag “Obi-Wan Kenobi is a freak in bed” has my attention and my interest. This writer describes Anakin subbing and Obi-Wan domming so very beautifully that it’s almost a manifesto in 8k. Lots of good sex here, but I really love the opening scene and the push and pull the writer’s given the characters. They want each other so much—Obi-Wan wants so much, but alas! Religious guilt on par with catholicism! Of course the nasty freaky sex fiend in Obi-Wan wins out over the Jedi Master, but I really enjoyed the guilt and the way he gives in and goes to find Anakin because of course he does. And then the ending! A resetting of the chess board so that the game can start over tomorrow. A great fic all in all!

you took my love so tenderly by @billboguspreston & @acrylicsalts-inspo Notes: Explicit, prince/guard dynamic, exhibitionism

I started reading this fic when it was first posted, and I followed it attentively and with baited breath. I love the reverse age dynamic (I know, it’s not for everyone, but I lovelovelove it), and I love that this Obi-Wan is such a spitfire. He knows what he wants and that’s for his silent, restrained, older, handsome bodyguard to snap and fuck him and he WILL brat his way into getting what he wants as is his right. Anakin being both incredibly horny (Anakin horny-gripping the pommel of his sword because Obi-Wan has decided to get off right in front of him to see if he can tempt him into fucking him) is amazing. Obi-Wan being both the aggressor and also the inexperienced one is chef’s fucking kiss and a dynamic I do not see often enough. So worth the read. And there may be more sequels??? Be still my beating heart!

I Wanna Be Owned by @kyberkenobi Notes: Explicit, 5+1 things, light BDSM

Speaking of horny grip lol, I had to think for a bit about which fic from this writer to choose because all of them are very good and very very smutty with all sorts of kinks and dynamics. The writer you go to for mean dom Obi-Wan and if you’re feeling up for discovering a kink you weren’t sure you were into before. There’s plenty of amazing fics on her ao3 (I was also immediately obsessed with the recent alpha/alpha one), but this fic is one of my favorites. I love the style of a 5+1 for a fic, and I am obsessed with casual slut (affectionate) Obi-Wan and Anakin’s blinders of his master slowly being pulled away until he HAS to confront the reason Obi-Wan can untie and hogtie a criminal they caught so damn quickly. It’s indecent. It’s amazing. 

Our Man From Tatooine by kazmir Notes: Explicit, a/b/o dynamics, intersex omegas

This story is such a good, quick, enthralling read. I really can’t say much without spoiling it, but it’s worth the read. Dark Obikin, twists and turns, roleplaying, horny mates being unable to resist the other’s draw….so good….One of those fics I paused to reread while reccing it lol

Acts of Contrition by @marycontraire Notes: A series, ranging from Gen - Explicit

Cheating a little bit to rec you all a series instead because I just reread this fic series and fell in love with it all over again. Literally a fandom classic for me. The world building is amazing, the realism and research really pays off because it creates such a rich world for people to dive into. The Tatooine culture is so rich and interesting, and I love this Anakin especially. It’s a very realistic take on if Anakin had been expelled from the Order for the Tusken massacre. This Anakin is darker and clingier and Obi-Wan is trying to keep himself level and sane and something Anakin can cling to while still being a Jedi in all but name. Every installment of this series is gold and worth reading as quickly as possible just to have this in your mind faster. Also worth a slow read to savor it because unfortunately, you can only read a fic series like this for the first time once.

You can call me baby (you can call me love) by @lilredghost Notes: Explicit, 5 + 1

This fic is so sweet that I honestly forgot it was explicit - even though, yes, it opens with a sex scene lmao! But I love this writer’s explicit fics so much (their ao3 is worth a browse) that I am not disappointed in it being explicit, no sir. Obi-Wan gets upset when Anakin calls him an old man repeatedly and I’ve read this fic so much that when I see repeated use of “old man” in other fics I’m like “! no! His feelings!!!” this fic ALSO has anakin calling obi-wan baby <3  so good so sweet so perfect.

take my hand through the flames by @atornpage Notes: Explicit, vaderwan, seduction to the Dark Side

Oh this may just be the WIP I am most excited to see updated! It’s such a clever and unique concept that I’m on the edge of my seat to see where the writer takes the story next. There are not enough stories where a character falls into a coma and time passes around them, and this is so perfect. I adore fics where baby Anakin is clingy and obsessed with Obi-Wan and everyone around them is like ‘this is not REALLY the Jedi way, guys’, and this fic has SO much of that. I can’t wait to see all the promises of the tags come to fruition and am massively enjoying the ride to get there!

Heal Me, My Darling by @wasureneba Notes: Explicit, sick fic, idiots in love

Who doesn’t love a sick fic?? The tender healing…the care…the rotten work…not to me, not if it’s you, etc etc…this fic is such a good sick fic too, I was here for the entire thing! Anakin is in top whiny form and Obi-Wan is cuddling him left and right! I also love Anakin having a praise kink in this fic – it made me soft and so receptive to the idea again when I was getting tired of seeing it as a default in a ton of fics. But this fic said “Obi-Wan tells Anakin he’s doing good while touching his ass to administer a very important for plot reasons shot and Anakin bursts into flames” and I said “absolutely and understandable, please tell me what happens next.” This is like a perfect sick fic for me. The right balance of sweet and horny. Caring Obi-Wan and whiny because he’s bored! Anakin. God-tier combination.

Νόστος by NFx Notes: Explicit, stockholm syndrome typical of hades & persephone aus

I am always here for a good Hades&Persephone AU and I feel like this is a great one! I especially love AUs that carefully place Star Wars GFFA characters into an established world (like Greek mythology in this case), and take care to match up the side characters of the GFFA with the AU characters they’re being transposed on. I like the pace and narration of this one too, the way the tone feels both readable and still old — the dialogue and narration don’t read like a BBC documentary set in Ancient Greece where everyone just sort of speaks like they’re in a Shakespeare play for some reason, but it’s still sorta oldish/stiffer dialogue that really keeps you in the fic universe without alienating readers. Also, horny. But dark horny. Love a darker Anakin. 

Hunting the Homeward Light by GreenQueenofClubs Notes: Teen

One of my all-time favorites, I think, and if you haven't read it or haven't reread it recently, you need to! There's so much tension build up and detail put in with such an amazing pay off that I could literally read this fic every month and probably find something new to enjoy all over again. I don't even have strong opinions about mace training anakin, but this fic convinced me it could work and work really well. also poor poor obi-wan </3 his emotional support padawan goes missing </3 but then is found :) as a twunk :)

[rollercoasterwords]

heyy, you said some time ago on an ask you hc Lily would give harry tons of mommy issues if alive, and I'm obsessed with this idea, please tell us more?

hi!!!! i did indeed say that….getting back to this a few days late but love this question 🌝🌝

to answer the first thing i have to explain is that in my mind lily is a bit of a cunt. she’s intelligent & ambitious—we know she was in slug club & made top marks despite not growing up in the wizarding world, which in my mind means she was likely competitive & had this sort of “i’m going to prove i’m better than these assholes” mentality & was also a perfectionist. she was used to being the favorite child/special one, bc we know her parents were excited abt her being a witch which is part of why petunia resented her; but then she had her sister & purebloods in the wizarding world putting her down, so i imagine that like…she’d have a strong sense of self worth and a need to prove herself, but also a bit of a martyr complex. at the same time, she had blinders on when it came to her own friend; we know she didn’t actually cut things off w severus despite him getting involved in nasty shit until he publicly called her a slur. this is actually one thing that i think is very similar about lily & james; though they both ostensibly had a very strong sense of justice, their blind spot was their close friends, which i imagine could make them both a bit hypocritical in that they’d say people who do x are bad but then forgive their friends who do x, etc.

ANYWAY. in a canon compliant setting if i am imagining lily & james relationship. well i’ll be honest i don’t think it was the perfect true love story etc that we’re sold in the books like. they were kids. i think that once they did get together it was v passionate & intense, made moreso by the fact that they were both fighting in a war & had the pressure of knowing they could die any day, etc.; if they hadn’t been fighting in a war, i think they would have broken up shortly after leaving school as they both followed different life paths & matured more as people & realized their first serious teenage relationship likely wasn’t going to be forever. BUT in a canon-adjacent/compliant universe war is on, their relationship is tumultuous but the dire circumstances make them cling to each other even tighter, & in my beautiful mind palace what happens is lily gets pregnant accidentally & they have a shotgun wedding. i’ve written an accidental pregnancy storyline w them in a few of my fics now so i can imagine it playing out in a couple ways, but no matter what in my mind lily was NOT planning to have a baby and has very mixed feelings about it—maybe she doesn’t realize she’s pregnant until it’s too late to do anything about it, maybe she considers aborting but decides against it, maybe she tries to abort but for some reason it doesn’t work or falls through…whatever happens, she ends up having the baby. now she’s a mother yayyyy except she’s a mum in like the most stressful circumstances ever & probably not having a joyous experience w her newborn. maybe some post-partum depression etc.

anyway. imagining canon breaking here and her becoming a mum…feel like this could go a few ways, and the exact mommy issues she’d give her kid would depend on which way it went. let’s say james dies on halloween but lily & harry both make it out; i definitely think part of her would sort of resent harry bc suddenly she’s 20 and she has to spend the rest of her life being a mum and she doesn’t get to enjoy her youth and have a normal life, and also she’s expected to raise the chosen one and also he’s kinda the reason her husband got killed. i think there’d be this sort of distance between them & i imagine her at times making an effort to be the loving mum she’s meant to be but ultimately it’s unsustainable, and harry grows up trying everything he can to make his mum really love him and develops a complex over feeling like there’s something fundamentally wrong with him bc that love & parental warmth just doesn’t come naturally to lily. & if this is a universe where voldemort’s still out to get harry then i imagine them moving around a lot, maybe living in hiding, her raising harry to one day take down voldemort…sorry but i do think she would turn him into the priest’s favorite sacrificial lamb. i think she would raise him to be a soldier/human sacrifice who is constantly feeling like he has to earn love, and neither of them would ever fully be able to give the other what they need or want, even though i do think lily would love harry…i just don’t think she’d always do a very good or consistent job of it!

[ladysavich]

What about headcanons for Invincible United? Do you have anything about they? 💛🖤🧡

Hi! Of course! This isn't much, but I hope you still like it!!!

Invincible United Headcanons

Everyone in the whole god damn super leage knows they play dirty

It's a well-known fact: 

“Is the earth round?” “yes” “Are oranges orange?” “yes" “Does Invincible United attempt to kill their rival teams?” “yup”

At this point, whenever I.U starts beating people up in the field, the other teams are just there like 

“OH DONALDO WILL HAVE THE SHOT-...oof- a foul..” “Yup…why am I not surprised?”  “Oooooo, that has got to hurt…”

I would like to think that they go out for barbeques, but I don't think any of them have the brainpower to watch the grill or enjoy without one of them being thrown

Vince is doing some shady underground shit that is somehow keeping his team afloat.

Also, what did he do to Jomo?? Excuse me?? Vince?? This man probably hired a hitman to kill Jomo. 😭

I kinda like the Invincible United characters in the show. They are all so different but so similar in game “planning”.

LOL, we have a literal sociopath, a heartbroken boy who can't get over his old crush, an ex-supa strikas, a man who is most possibly the reason for another man's death and a sweetheart baby cutie patootie!

I kinda wished that Dingaan and Skarra were childhood friends instead of Skarra and Shakes :(

Anyway, I don't think these guys hang out much apart from games and practice. I don't know much about the side characters, but my guess is that they do enjoy going out from time to time

But as seen in rookie season, I.U go dirt bike riding with their previous captain. I’d like to think that they do the same with Dooma (sounds like something them as a whole would enjoy)

They are also very compliant towards their captain

Dooma was able to gain both their trust and loyalty in a short period

Vince really knew what he was doing when he made Dooma the captain.

Must i add how Dingaan is so fricken lost and adorable?????

[niftukkun]

fanart for a scene in @nerdydowntherabbithole 's Taking Life As Is on AO3 !! a scene early on in the fanfic that sounded so cool it gripped me with inspiration, where a vulture swoops down and gets fucking got by a leviathan while our dear protagonists look on in horror of the beautiful brutality of mother nature happening right in front of them! dont you love it when you leave your rotting corpse behind and immediately get hit with the existential horror of almost dying and the primal fear of seeing something that much bigger than you and realising your fragility when you were once a godlike being above such lowly thoughts and struggles? anyway.

some details and thoughts !! :

-just before this scene, sugar (survivor's name in this fic) hunted and ate a salamander, so i included it in this here drawin too !! hell yeah esoteric fic-accurate details -(pro tip for any artists out there; if you want to push something into the background, gradient overlays are your friend. also, dont forget to check your values. outline your characters if they aren't popping out of the background enough) -in other, not fic-accurate detail,, moon's dress and marks. i think in the fic, moon's dress is more like,, an actual dress with sleeves and such. but also like, i do what i want and i want something thats barely a dress so i can show off my anatomy/mechanical bits art skills. i dont care if its not canon compliant im calling rule of cool -whoops i forgor the wires uhh shit nevermind it would cover the cool bits anyway whatever -also, while i am proud of the vulture and leviathan, they both used reference. like, i sketched them out yeah, but also the sketch was mostly done by staring at a reference the whole time and overlaying it on the canvas as needed when the drawing looked a little too off. so if you look at this and think 'aw man this guys too good at drawing i could never draw a vulture/leviathan/background/whateverthefuck like that' youre wrong. use references and get better at art by referencing references -shoutout to the miraheze wiki btw for supplying most of my references for this. fandom wiki could never

this fic holds a special place in my heart. like, i dont agree with it on a lot of things (how the cycle works, time between slugcat campaigns, how rot works, etc), but its very internally consistent and i like how all the characters are written. i really do like how, despite all the bickering, the iterators really do care for each other and love each other. i like that the blame isn't pushed just to pebbles, the acknowledgement of there being a lot of nuance and complications in the whole situation. i like the worldbuilding, nsh's wetland-esque biome, srs's gleaming glass beaches, the different interesting fauna/flora, slugcat society worldbuilding, the fucking trains hell yes trains.

most of all though, i love the authors dedication to getting a happy ending. no one left behind. all the iterators in the local group are getting freed (except for innocence but thats a different thing) all the slugcats are alive and doing well (even artificer's kids!!). and even though the fic throws the characters around, bad things happen, steps backward are taken,,, there is almost a palatable message that no matter what, things will be okay. artificer did bad and its acknowledged with visible consequences (scavenger temple route, which mightve made things so much easier on the route to nsh) but she still gets her kids back. hunter had her rot cured and even got some sick new upgrades but still struggles with overexertion and moments of weakness. both pebbles and moon have ptsd from the rot and the rain respectively and its handled reasonably well, not even mentioning the survivors guilt and learned helplessness on nsh and the whole,, guilt from causing this whole fiasco and the feeling of it being all their fault from srs,,,, , ,,,

i dont know. i just really like how dedicated the fic is to showing the realistic consequences of the unforgiving and brutal world of rain world and weaving it into a story of forgiveness and freedom. there are struggles but the heroes will still win and get to go home happy. its cathartic. i love it a lot.

[ratsplendor]

You say you think Fiddlestan don't own a hairbrush between them, but I gotta disagree. I think a nice old fashioned hairbrush with the soft bristles is one of the first things Fiddleford bought himself when he was at college and could get things with his own money. And it's so small and trivial nobody gets why it's important to him but it absolutely is. He wasn't allowed soft, gentle things growing up but he can get them now and he lets himself have this, even if it's mostly a secret.

From here there are two ways things go: canon compliant, where it tragically becomes yet another thing he forgets as he becomes an unrecognisable version of himself. Or, in line with your fics; once he feels safe enough to be vulnerable he uses it to brush Stan's hair, who isn't sure how to feel because he hasn't had his hair done properly since he was a kid and ma would comb it for going to temple, but he can't deny that it feels nice to just be held in a way so tender.

OUGH. in all seriousness i can see it going either way. maximalism babey. in "sleeping dogs" i have him and Stan fussing over each other's hair a lot so that HC is very much situational.

i hella fuck with this interpretation. god, southern masculinity is its own beast. at least when i was growing up, boys didn't fuss over their hair except to gel it, *maybe,* for Sunday service or dates. even then that's pussy shit. city boy shit. your momma cuts it above your ears with a mixing bowl if you're lucky. or the fella on the neighboring farm has one of them electric clippers that he'll let your daddy borrow once a month, and all the kids line up in the barn. depending on what type of farm, your momma makes her own soap, and it's what you use for everything.

Fidds doesn't really learn that he doesn't have to deal with his hair being constantly frizzy and brittle until late in college. depending on how i'm feeling, maybe he remembers his sister/s or his mother having conditioner and shit. suddenly his hair is soft and the natural texture is full and voluminous and his scalp is itching less.

so yea i see him feeling weirdly guilty about the whole hair care thing. even facial hair, yeah? i know some southern gentlemen who use beard balm and shit like that, but that's kind of a recent development down here. even back when i was a kid those fellas were letting their shit run wild. lmao.

i am a curly Fiddleford truther until i die tho. i have this HC that he was straightening it in that one picture of him and Ford from BMU (the green shorts, y'all know what i mean). so maybe that's part of it too. just hating his curls because he doesn't really know what the fuck to do with them. heat damage out the wazoo.

thanks for getting me thinking about this....ough i love it so much !!