#but i am very compliant!!! AND I HAVE SHIT!!! TO DO!!!!!!!!

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

May 14th

~*~

1. Hello! For itmf wangxian chat-fics please?? Thankyou!! @lunamooonn

you gotta help me; i’m losing my mind by livinginaworldofnoise (G, 3k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Reddit AU, Crack, wangxian seeking advice from reddit, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Assumptions of Cheating, Unconventional Format, Epistolary, Kinda?, [Podfic] Cold read of you gotta help me; i’m losing my mind by kisahawklin) is a hilarious Reddit fic okay?

it’s all fun and games ’til somebody loses their mind by livinginaworldofnoise (G, 8k, WangXian, Modern, Roommates/Housemates, Epistolary, chatfic, Texting, what if they were roommates and they were completely incompatible and also they had a cat, the unsubtle art of annoying your roommate into falling in love with you, the inherent romance of passive aggressive post-its, Passive-aggression, Crack, Unconventional Format, Living Together) and pretty much everything by this author because she does epistolary (sp??) type fics !+

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 75k, multiple ships, Chatlogs, chatfic, Texting, Comedy, Canon Compliant, Crack, Memes, Humour, JGY is best bitch, i am afraid of when LXC finally snaps, XY is a highly cursed person, NHS is still mvp tbh, chatroom fic, Polyamory, Lots of it, Not Everyone Dies, Additional: please do not eat or drink reading this enough people have choked x-x) is a full-chat fic

🔒 you’ve ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Modern AU, Developing Relationship, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX, slowburn, Demisexuality, references to lqr’s a+ parenting, references to jfm’s a+ parenting, but we’re gonna get a happy ending ANYWAY, references to yzy’s a+ parenting, Background NMJ/LXC, hints of nmj/lxc/jgy, bottom LWJ in chapter 15, [Podfic] you’ve ruined my life (by not being mine) by fensandpodfic (fensandmarshes))

call me, beep me by myung (T, 39k, WangXian, MM/WQ, JC/WN, JYL/JZX, Social Media, Modern, Actors, Celebrity, Chatting & Messaging)

He is Wei Wuxian’s by devinokaze (T, 41k, WangXian, Modern, Celebrity, Actors, Actor WWX, Singer/Dancer LWJ, Social Media, Entertainment Industry, POV Outsider, Fluff and Humor)

life, drama and action by Akai__hana (G, 13k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, Modern, Actors, singer LWJ, actor WWX, Social Media, Fluff and Humor, Established Relationship, Crack)

~*~

2. Itmf

Are there any fics where Jiang Fengmian for once gets his shit together and stands up to Yu Ziyuan for his Children and that changes his relationship with his children including Wei Ying. Like I literally want him to shun her away from all three kids n Jiang Fengmian to finally be the father that he was supposed to be. @kan-chan-aqua

A wilted lotus sprouts thorns by GeminiWillow (Not Rated, 42k, WIP, WangXian, JFM Tries, Good Parent JFM, POV JFM, BAMF JFM, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, YZY Bashing, Bad Parent YZY, JC Bashing, JFM-centric, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Sentient Burial Mounds, Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect Deserves Better, LWJ Has Friends, Sect Heir JYL) might not be an exact fit because Jiang Cheng ends up in Madam Yu's custody but he does stand up to her going as far as to divorce her so here

~*~

3. Hello! I'm looking for stories where Wei Wuxian's mental health is more addressed, for example, they could be stories that indicate that his mental health is very damaged, they could also be stories exploring the headcanon that he has ADHD.

we’re starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 92k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Golden Core Reveal, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Starvation, emaciation, Cannibalism, Self-Harm, Amputation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sunshot Campaign, let JZX and WWX be friends club)

Consequences by Remma3760 (Not Rated, 58k, WangXian, XiSu, XuanLi, Canonical Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Good Uncle LQR, WWX is a Lan, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Bad Parents JFM and YZY)

Silent Goodbyes Taste Bitter by Starlight1395 (Not Rated, 26k, WangXian, vent fic, Hurt/Comfort, openish ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm, Depression, Anxiety, cloud recesses days, Angst, beginnings of Wangxian, Happy Ending, self deprecating thoughts, Mentions of past child abuse, Attempted Suicide, Panic Attacks, Blood, graphic self-harm and suicide attempt, only in second chapter tho)

🔒 Changed for the Better by tigerlilly3224 (M, 4k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Mental Health Issues, Therapy, Medication, WWX Has ADHD, Autistic LWJ, Therapist LXC, Good Sibling LXC, Good Uncle LQR, Bad Parents JFM and YZY, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Neglect, Grief/Mourning, Of your past, Protective LWJ, Adopted WWX, Healing, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Panic Attacks)

The Art of Communication by mrcformoso (G, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Meet-Cute, Engineering Student WWX, Music Student LWJ, Swimmer WWX, Martial Artist LWJ, POV Outsider, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Communication Issues, But Wanxian Makes it Work, LWJ has limited words, WWX has too many words, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Love Languages, Requited Love)

in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Minor pining, major shenanigans, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, Blowjobs, Frottage, switch rights, Scent Kink, mildly telepathic sex, courtship via kittens)

O, What Learning Is! by Comfect (T, 60k, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, Canon Divergence No Fall of Lotus Pier, No Golden Core Transfer, Fix-It, Butterfly Effect, Fluff, Cultivation Theory, Cultivation Sect Politics, JYL and JZX Live, Canon-Typical Violence, LWJ-Typical Unwillingness to Discuss Feelings Initially, WWX-Typical Obliviousness, Unreliable Narrator WWX, The Undeniable Romance of Quests, Good Student WWX (for a given value of good student), Canon-typical treatment of children, Especially WWX, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR) isn’t tagged as such, but it’s written from Wei Ying’s POV, giving the reader a glimpse of his chaotic, probable-ADHD pattern of thinking.

~*~

4. I just saw #6's ask & it made me curious, r there any fics where wwx is resurrected but hides it - where people know it's him, they just thought/start to think he never actually died, & like fled & left them to their assumptions or faked his death or was just badly hurt and lacking his wounds for awhile. Also, u know in downtown abbey when that bandaged scarred guy was either edith's childhood friend or lying & scamming her? Any like that? Where wwx is thoughtofwell&fakesappearorhedoubted?

~*~

5. Hi its me again for itmf fics that lwj is obsessed with and kidnaps wwx? Thankyou! @lunamooonn

Obelus by Celestios (Not rated, 167k, WangXian, SL/XXC, LXC/NMJ, JYL/JZX, Rape/Non-Con, non-con elements, NO rape, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Punishments, Spanking, Punishments, Dubious Morality, Dubious Consent, physical discipline, Physical Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Abusive Relationship, Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, mention of violence, mention of drugs, Mention of alcohol, Possessive Behavior, Obsessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, dark LWJ, Baker WWX, Bodyguard WN, Mentions of weapons, Gun mentions, Slow Burn, Long, Doctor WQ, Self Medicating, WWX has ADHD, Trauma Bonding, Psychological Manipulation, Gaslighting, Organized Crime, underground crime, Underground business, illegal business) please mind the tags

🔒 Fizz by inflight_gremlin (M, 3k, LWJ & WWX, Dark LWJ, Flight Attendant WWX, Obsessive Behavior, Modern, One-Sided Attraction, Obsessive LWJ, Kidnapping, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Supportive Sibling LXC, Stalking, Dark, One-Sided WangXian, Crime Boss LWJ, Extremely Dubious Consent, Non-Consensual Touching, non-con elements, Date Rape Drug/Roofies) please mind the tags

~*~

6. itmf: a) wwx taking care of the juniors like a mother hen b) shifter! AU (preference: fok! wwx, dragon! lwj, bottom wwx, mpreg)

thank you!

6A)

🔒 Not Yet (There As Needed) by sunrise_and_death (T, 13k, LSZ & WWX, JL & WWX, JL & LSZ, WangXian, Post-Canon, Family Feels, Family Bonding, POV LSZ, This Fic Has Everything, even more yearning, WWX & LSZ figuring out wtf their relationship is, Dramatic Revelations)

Still in the Water by airgeer (T, 45k, WangXian, JL & LSZ, Case Fic, Post-Canon, Angst and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, LWJ gets hurt in this one and it's weird for everyone, Fainting, but WWX is in the fic so of course there's fainting)

tell some storm by qurbat (G, 31k, wangxian, JC & WWX, LSZ & WWX, NHS & WWX, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, liberal amounts of outsider POV)

your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian (G, 10k, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Father-Son Relationship, Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, More aligned with CQL than novel canon, Miscommunication, Eventual Positive Communication, Trying to be a family, how to tell your dad you want him to be your dad in 6 easy steps!)

6B)

To lurk, to lie in wait by trippednfell (M, 124k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Huli Jing, strangers to co-parents to lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Dragons, Kid Fic, teenage juniors, background NieLan, Angst with a Happy Ending, Case Fic, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not Really Character Death, Fox Spirit WWX, Dragon LWJ, Blood and Injury, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, [Podfic] To lurk, to lie in wait by raitala)

a siren's tail by sweetlolixo (M, 2k, WangXian, Dark Fantasy, Dragon LWJ, Siren WWX, Dark LWJ, Dark LSZ, Dragon LSZ, lying by omission, Manipulation, mpreg mention, Royalty, Happy Ending)

A Baby Dragon’s Guide To Seducing Your Huli Jing by sweetlolixo (M, 102k, WangXian, Fantasy, But still in the Cultivation World, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Younger LWJ, Older WWX, Fluff, Humor, Eventual mpreg, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Boy A-Yuan)

A Ribbon Of Hope by Liebing (T, 8k, WangXian, Foxxian, dragonji, Fantasy, Sweet, soft, Happy Ending, Childhood Sweethearts, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, LXC is the best big brother, Confessions, Losing each other, Finding each other again, Misunderstanding, Jealousy, Drunk LWJ, ribbon swapping, talk of getting married, talk of baby fox dragons, betrothal, True Love, Soulmates, Pregnancy in the bonus chapter, child birth, Married Life, complications in pregnancy and childbirth but everything is fine, breast feeding)

what you have tamedby lianhua_lianzi, Senforza (E, 94k, WangXian, XuanLi, XiYao, Eventual 3Zun, Animal Traits, misunderstandings (not the romcom kind that can be resolved in a 5min convo), Courting Rituals, Pining, Lan family dynamics, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Arranged Marriage, Wangxian break up but get back together, Eventual Happy Ending, vague biological essentialism (animal species have different mating preferences), Canon Typical Alcohol Usage, Implied Mpreg, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Unresolved Sexual Tension, unintentional and eventually resolved “gaslighting”, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX)

~*~

7. Looking for any selkie wangxian fics!! Thank you!

🔒never love an anchor by tardigradeschool (T, 31k, WangXian, Selkies, No Powers, Historical, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Pining, Angst, Happy Ending, The Inherent Eroticism of the Sea, PTSD, Presumed Dead, Drowning)

The Tiger has Destroyed his Cage by updatebug (G, 54k, WangXian, JFM/YZY, Shapeshifters, Fix-it fic, Most people live, and the ones who don’t were aholes anyway, Animal Pelts, Tiger WWX, Found Family, adopted family, Yungmeng Siblings, LWJ is very confused, You can tell from his face, Canon appropriate angst and violence, Gratuitous OCs, If canon will not give me women I will make them, Jiang Sect) tigershifter!WWX that runs on selkie rules. One of my very favorite fics in the fandom <3

bring you home by Alasse_Irena (T, 27k, WangXian, Selkies, Modern with Magic, Pre-Slash)

Clothe Yourself in Beauty Untold by GhostySword (G, 5k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Hurt/Comfort, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mama Lan Feelings, Selkies, Selkie WWX, Kid Fic, Fairy Tale)

~*~

8. Hi! I’m in the mood for wangxian competency porn. You know, fics where one or both of them are just really freaking good at something, like night hunting or solving mysteries or any modern au equivalent. Just them being suuuper competent and likely turned on by how competent the other is.

🔒A Glimpse of Past Glory by masked (T, 1k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Swordfighting, BAMF WWX)

Zombies? Ridiculous. by relenafanel (T, 4k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, POV LWJ, WWX's Birthday, Meet-Cute, Meet Ugly (actually), Confessions, First Meetings, Falling In Love, Romantic Comedy, cultivation, zombie costume, Competency Kink)

🔒 (i've got) trouble in mind by seularen (E, 76k, wangxian, JGY/LXC, modern w magic, heist au, thief WWX, forger LWJ, consigliere JGY, epistolary, long-distance relationship, d/d elements, Canon wangxian kinks, happy ending)

🔒 when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations)

Fighting Chance by fyredancer (E, 15k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation au, Competition, Tournaments, Secret Identity, kinda - Wei Wuxian is very obvious, Competence Kink, Feelings Realization, Love Confessions, First Kiss, First Time, Hand Jobs, Frottage)

🔒 The Second Jade of Lan’s late but incendiary sexual awakening by KizuKatana (E, 41k, WangXian, First Time, LWJ’s Horny Grip, canon wangxian dynamics, college AU, LWJ starts off annoyed at WWX, But quickly discovers both his competency kink and a caretaking kink, Genius WWX)

varied my velocities by fantasiavii (E, 58k, WangXian, Modern AU, Ballerina LWJ, Football/Soccer player WWX, Enemies to Lovers, Top WWX/Bottom LWJ, Dom WWX, Angst with a happy ending, Internalized homophobia)

Lan Wangji is NOT a Sapiosexual by silverclaw (E, 5k, WangXian, Modern, Office Sex, Roleplay, Competence Kink, very light dom/sub undertones, LWJ is a brat, A side of strength kink as a treat, Bottom LWJ, Porn With Plot, LWJ is in fact a sapiosexual)

My chain hits my chest/When I’m bangin’ on the radio by x_los (T, 2k, WangXian, Case Fic, Modern with Magic, Competence Kink, YLLZ)

~*~

9. Hi! do you have any recommended lists of A) Wangxian fics with Slow Burn? with top lwj and bottom wwx?

B) or recommendations for Wangxian fics with pining Wei Wuxian? with bottom WWX and top LWJ!! please, and thank you so much!! 💗🙌🏽

9A)

Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise (E, 71k, WangXian, Time Travel, kind of, it’s more reality travel but there’s modern wwx and cultivator lwj, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings, Cultural Differences)

a light hidden and singingby occultings (microcomets) (E, 48k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Canon Era, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Slow Burn, brief family abuse, mentions of wangxian’s canonical kinks, Misunderstandings, Blood and Injury, Rimming, Outdoor Sex, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, First Time, Miscommunication, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending)

🔒 The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide)

to hold the wind by androids_fighting93, artbysongs (E, 62k, WangXian, MianLi, Soulmates, Modern AU, Reincarnation, College/University, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Disownment, LWJ Loves Rabbits, Touch-Starved LWJ)

Thirty-three Lashes by Winglesss (E, 56k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Modern with Magic, Immortality, Reincarnation, Case Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Nightmares, Ghosts, Curses, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Major Character Injury, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Memory Loss)

Waiting for Spring by thievinghippo (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, MLB AU, Baseball AU, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, slight angst, Happy Ending)

9B)

我們的明天; the story of you and me by xuanxuanwo (ostentatiouslyrealistic) (E, 73k, WangXian, Modern, Bookstore, College/University, Writer LWJ, Poet WWX, Exes to Lovers, Exes, Getting Back Together, Crossing Timelines, Mutual Pining, Pining WWX, Friendship, Family, Romance, Poetry, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death)

🔒 Swing From the Gallows and Wave by NyxNuit (E, 126k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, They're not 'cultivators' they're Exorcists, Murder Mystery, does this count as crack?, featuring my attempts at humor, demon hunter AU, general amounts of absurdity, cameos from other MXTX characters, Major Character Undeath, the typical pining we expect from WangXian, Not a Slow Burn Tho, the usual gratuitous music references, and gratuitous pop culture references, Sexual Content, featuring Yunmeng Bros reconciliation)

Don’t Leave Me by TrippinOnSkies (E, 19k, WangXian, Modern AU, Marriage Proposal, Mental Breakdown, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Panic Attacks, But they are very mild, Overthinking, Good Sibling JC, Break Up, Gentle Sex, Gentle Kissing, Idiots in Love, Pining, Misunderstandings, Oblivious WWX, LWJ Has Feelings, LWJ is Whipped, Getting Together, NHS & WWX Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy EndingInsecure WWX, WWX Has Issues, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Sad WWX, WWX is Bad at Communicating)

a call to motion by vespertineflora (E, 14k, WangXian, Post-The Untamed, Post-Series, Boys In Love, Porn with Feelings, Porn With Plot, Love Confessions, Fuck Or Die, First Time, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Kissing, Boys Kissing, Multiple Orgasms, Dry Orgasm, LWJHas Feelings, Pining WWX)

~*~

10. Hi! ITMF fics where WWX knows LWJ really well. Kind of like "The Care and Keeping of Hanguang-jun: An Instruction Manual by Wei Wuxian" or that one fic where he writes a book on LWJ's expressions and what they mean. Just ones where WWX pays attention to LWJ's mannerisms very closely and kind of shows off how well he knows him. Thank you! I really adore and appreciate your blog.

shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi ( E, 24k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Night hunts, Curses, Intimacy, Light Angst with a Happy Ending)

The Meaning of Silence by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 14k, WangXian, Mind Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining)

the only way out by cafecliche (T, 12k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, Post-Canon, this is one part character study, one part comedy of errors, and one part fix-it, WWX is a people pleaser in this essay I will, my event planning experience rearing its head again, the only way out [Podfic] by BrickGrass, [Podfic] the only way out by siriliyi)

~*~

11. Hello! For the next ITMF: I would love any recs for fics where Su She is an antagonist or just generally is annoying/causes any sort of issues for WWX or WangXian (I recently read Su She Eats his Heart Out by KizuKatana and loved it - so I'm looking for anything that's even vaguely similar lol) Thank you in advance! 💕

seeds by antebunny (G, 3k, WangXian, SS & LWJ, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Identity Porn, Dramatic Irony, identity theft, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, the Inherent Romance of Being Known, BAMF WWX, protective boyfriend WWX, simp LWJ)

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 60k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

🔒💙 Wish I could forget the taste of your skin and the feel of your hands pinning me down by KizuKatana (E, 63k, WangXian, WQ & WWX & WN, weapons-grade thirst, Getting Back Together, Trying REALLY hard to not still like your Ex, but failing, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Canon Divergence, Modern Cultivation, Case Fic, LWJ’s canonically big dick, sort of a ‘thirsting for your co-worker ex’ vibe, it eventually gets worked out, Mutual Pining, Guest-starring LWJ’s canonically poor communication choices after romantic cave encounters, novel canon relationship dynamics, basically this fic is about escalating sexual tension)

~*~

12. Hello!

In the mood for fics like Holding Shreds by barisan,.. but where bodyswap happened while WY was in lotus pier and not only state of his body was revealed , but lz in his body suffered zidian punishment. And maybe neglect from healers and all that abusive jazz.

Thank you! @best-before-end

~*~

13. Hello! You guys are amazing! For whatever itmf this gets attached to, I'm looking for people's favorite Lan Sizhui POV fics. Modern, canon, wangxian or not, I'm not fussed. I just really like that kid and want to read more from him :) Thank you <3<3<3 @deathdefyinglifeleaps

to the act of making noise by words-writ-in-starlight (WordsWritInStarlight) (G, 19k, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Father-Son Relationship, inquiry, LSZ is the best of boys and I will not hear debate, Music, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, [Podfic] to the act of making noise by Ceewelsh, flamingwell, kisahawklin, Rionaa)

🔒 Dirty Water by Aki_no_hikari (G, 822, LQR & LSZ, Family, Fluff, righteous anger)

A-Yuan's Big Adventure by KatanaHatake (G, 21k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, transmigrator Wen Yuan, Found Family, Canon Divergence, Parents LWJ and WWX, People believing WWX birthed A-Yuan, Eventual Happy Ending, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Implied Mpreg, mdzs canon events) my fav fic about A-yuan and lots of chapters are in his pov

🔒 when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations) link in #8 Lan Sizhui POV is mostly in the back half of the fic but it's SO GOOD

Picture Perfect by manaika (M, 22k, WangXian, WWX/Other(s), Past Relationship(s), Widower WWX, Grief/Mourning, Getting Together, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Stepfather WWX, WWX is the father who stepped up, LSZ is a Wei, Single Parent WWX, Asexual Character, Aromantic Relationship, Platonic Life Partners, it’s all in the past and only mentioned/discussed when relevant, Sex-Favorable Asexual WWX, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Modern, Past Character Death, Food Intake Related Medical Issue (not what you think))

as i stumble homewards by the_pretzel (T, 27k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Found Family, Food Issues, Trauma, Canon-Typical Violence, LSZ pov, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff)

🔒 Black and white by apathyinreverie (T, 10k, WangXian, Fluff, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Protective LSZ, Protective LWJ, not particularly Gusu Lan friendly, parents wangxian, Mutual Pining, Oblivious WWX, Communication, Post-Canon)

Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Not Rated, 19k, LSZ & LWJ, WangXian, dad wangji, LWJ’s Questionable Parenting Skills, Grief/Mourning, Recovery, Injury Recovery, Hopeful Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses [podfic] by someplacelikebolivia)

🔒❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst, [Podfic] kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by contributor-sky (deepestbluesky), esbielle was also here (esbielle), glittercracker, GodOfLaundryBaskets, jellyfishfire, kisahawklin, Koontyme, Rionaa, semperfiona))

When You Wake, 怎能当梦一场 by acertainrogue (T, 39k, WangXian, WWX is in a coma, Angst with a Happy Ending, Modern AU, Single Dad LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Parenthood, YZY’s A+ Parenting, JFM’s A+ parenting, wangxian family) this is the best modern lan yuan POV imo!

~*~

14. For in the mood for could you recommend getting together fics that focus on lwj feeling hurt by wwx flirting/showing lots of affection because he thinks that wwx doesn‘t actually love him? Wether wwx knows that he‘s in love or is ignorant to his own feelings at first doesn‘t matter.

And then obviously i want the reveal that no, wwx wasn‘t taking advantage of lwj‘s feelings and kindness and being a huge tease but was simply ignorant/too scared to escalate into full relationship territory.

Both POVs are fine. I just need the pining while being very very close, like suspiciously so, but not outright romantic at first.

r/relationships by vespertineflora (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Viral Reddit Post, Pining, Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Awkward Flirting, Romantic Gestures, Romantic Comedy, Love Confessions, Kissing, Happy Ending, r/relationships [podfic] by someplacelikebolivia)

my dreams are playing softer now by fleurdeliser (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Drunken Shenanigans, First Dates)

Some of You by tangerinechar (M, 60k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Actor AU, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Love Confessions, Matchmaking, Light Angst)

~*~

15. ITMF any completed, English fics that are canon divergence from the moment wwx resurrects as Mo xuanyu at Mo manor. Or even if it does follow canon mostly, slight changes to it (like say wangxian recognize each other at Mo Manor instead of Dafan Mountain etc). Thanks!!!! @chenqingmagic

💙 Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX)

💖 Mo Money, Mo Problems by x_los (M, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Confessions)

things we’re all too young to know by someitems (T, 11k, WangXian, Misunderstandings, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Mistaken Identity, Found Family)

~*~

16. Hi! Are there any fics where WWX meets CSSR and WCZ when he's an adult? maybe some time-travelling shenanigans or something. Or a fic where they come back alive, or something of the sort

The lark and the willow by Mhalachai (G, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Time Travel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chief Cultivator LWJ, More parental issues than you can shake a stick at, make time travel have consequences you cowards, yunmeng bros reconciliation)

in a dream, i was home by thelastdboy (M, 25k, WangXian, POV LWJ, Canon Divergence, Post-First Siege of the Burial Mounds, Time Travel Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Different First Meeting, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Sentient Burial Mounds, CSSR and WCZ Live, Families of Choice, Protective LWJ, Everybody Lives, Temporary Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, WWX Leaves the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, Golden Core Reveal, Fluff, Developing Relationship, Wen Remnants Live, WQ Lives, WN Lives, No Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX)

The Return of Cangse Sanren by milesofheart (T, 52k, WIP, WangXian, CSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, CSR & WCZ Live, Angst with a happy ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Burial Mounds days, BAMF CSR)

🔒 Love you always, in any form you come in by YumichanHamano (G, 7k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Time Travel, Fluff, happy birthday wei wuxian!, he can have his parents back as a treat :) )

The Long Winding Road Home by Admiranda (T, 13k, CSSR/WCZ, WangXian, flash forwards, Time Travel, Post canon, WWX’s parents come to post canon mdzs, not for JC fans, fluffy family reunions, mocking LQR to his face, mocking JC to his face, wild rumors abound)

~*~

17. Itmf a fic which takes place in cloud recesses arc. Someone (not wwx himself like in the below mentioned fic) stalks wwx and has a grudge against him and finds a chance to assault him outside cloud recesses.

I read for the dust and the dirt and I can't remember if the itmf I mentioned is a fic or just something else.

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[mothmanns]

MAD

[bejeweledinterludes]

❝ are you in the mafia? ❞

❝ … am i in the what? ❞

「 pairing 」 : dean winchester x mafia ! reader

「 word count 」 : 1.3 k

「 content / warnings 」 : mob/mafia, incorrect mafia lore that i tweaked because i said it was okay to, canon-compliant violence, mentions of death, swearing

you have one ( 1 ) new message from the author ! ↓

HEYYY this was a request from @hpxmcusworld! i did end up making the reader gender neutral, i hope that’s okay— and that you enjoy, because this was really fun to write! thank you so so much for requesting and your kind words! <3

my masterlist

disclaimer: reminder that these are works of fiction. i do not support the real-life mafia / mob. read more here.

𖤐 ────────────────────────

this was so cool stupid.

that was the only thing going through dean winchester’s mind as he and sam knocked on the door of a very much too-big and not at all cool as shit house— because who in god’s name needed six garages with some fuckin’ awesome vintage cars? and a damn fountain in the driveway?

rich and pompous assholes.

that’s who.

“this ‘s so stupid,” dean echoes his half-thoughts out loud in a low mutter— throwing in an eyeroll before adjusting the tie of his fed threads.

sam squinted his eyes at his brother’s sheer reluctance to get through one single day without complaining— but before he could even say anything, a maid opened the door, looking between the both of them.

“can i help you gentlemen?” she asks, standing up a little straighter when she notices the suits.

“fbi, ma’am,” dean nods matter-of-factly as he flashes his badge, sam following suit. “need to speak to the owner of this house. it’s about the murder three days ago. it’s urgent.”

damn right, it was urgent. children were dropping like flies left and right in chicago— dying with no warning and decomposing almost immediately.

they needed answers.

so sam’s extensive research and cross-referencing police records had brought them to here— to the gigantic hand-carved wood front door of one of the families that currently ran the chicago mob.

(it also helped that one of the kids that died had been from this family, too— but sam enjoys click-clacking around on the computer.)

“oh, yes, of course,” the maid immediately recognized who they were talking about— why these definitely real fbi agents were here. “come in, please. i’ll notify of your presence.”

dean fights the urge to get excited roll his eyes.

again.

. • . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . 𖤐

“sorry to keep you waiting,” your voice rings out— one that sounded like you weren’t really sorry at all.

both dean and sam’s heads perk up to look at you, the supposed owner of the house entering what the maid called the ‘sitting room’.

which was actually pretty sick, because it totally felt like a mafia movie. you sat down in the matching lavish sofa across from them. you nodded once to the maid, who excused herself scurried off immediately. dean was reminded of a scene from goodfellas, one of his favorite movies that was similar.

which wasn’t cool at all.

“you look a little young to own a house this big,” dean bluntly remarks before thinking twice— and received a ‘dude’ look from sam.

they weren’t wrong. you appeared to be the same age as dean and sam, give or take a few years— and unmistakably attractive. though, you always thought the old architecture and style of the house made you look better.

“well, technically, it’s not exactly mine— yet,” you clarify, crossing a leg over the other as you eye the two men. “but it will be someday. i’m the next best thing right now. my father’s… handling business elsewhere.”

immediately you noticed the fact that they were not like any usual stick-up-the-ass dickwads that usually were oh so graciously in your presence— they seemed… pretty close to normal, actually.

“right,” sam interjects before dean could make some other comment that would end up with them back at square one. “anyways, we’re here because of—”

“my brother,” you interrupt sam, your eyes still flicking between them— and a slight smile on your face. “but, then again, you aren’t actually real agents, now are you?”

both dean and sam look at each other at that, a slight tremor of panic passing through each of them. dean speaks up this time—

“we—”

“are hunters,” you finish, titling your head a little as you look between them. “see, i do my research, too— or rather, my people do. you’re dean. that’s sam. you’re brothers, and you hunt monsters for a living.”

both dean and sam had whatever words they were going to say taken away from them when you dropped that bomb— they were used to having to tiptoe around that subject.

“well, it really is a good thing you’re here,” you continue without a beat, leaning back against the couch again, “i’m used to monsters being… y’know, people.”

dean and sam had finally relaxed a little after the initial shock wore off— and dean was starting to realize you weren’t what he expected. and maybe this wasn’t as stupid as he thought.

it was kinda like a godfather movie, if he was being honest.

and dean loved the godfather.

“you don’t seem like a complete…” dean trails off. in this line of work, it was rare to encounter someone with a good head on their shoulders, especially if they were filthy rich— but then again, he was glad he didn’t have to babysit.

“asshole?” you finish once again, raising your eyebrows, your smile ticking up higher. “yeah, it skips a generation. so, what’s the plan?”

“the plan?” sam echoes, both he and dean scoff a little, glancing between each other and you.

“yes, the plan,” you exaggerate the last word as sam did. “firstly, how many soldiers do you need?”

“soldiers?” both dean and sam echo you this time, their expressions mixed with shock and bewilderment.

“are you going to repeat everything i say?” you shake your head a little, uncrossing your legs and reaching to pour yourself a glass of whiskey with the crystal bottle. “yes, soldiers. i’m sure you’ve heard of la cosa nostra.”

oh, shit. la cosa nostra. dean’s heard the stories from the times he’s been through illinois— it was the ruthless mafia army composed soldiers from all 5 crime families that ran chicago. the mafia’s dean looked between you and his brother— and his eyes were a little less shocked. more… excited?

“you can— you have soldiers? that would help… us?” sam is the first to speak, considering dean was a little too… preoccupied about how cool this was actually was.

“well, they’ll do anything i say, so, yes,” you smoothly lean back against the couch again, re-crossing your legs. “they’ll be at your service, if you require it.”

“cool,” dean finally speaks, a slight smile turning on the corner of his mouth.

sam snaps his head to his brother, suppressing a slight eyeroll before talking to you again. “well, we don’t really know what we’re up against, but—”

“my resources will be yours,” you interrupt, placing your crystal glass of whiskey down. “anything you need, just ask.”

“really?” dean tilts his head, smile getting a little wider. “anything?”

“anything.” it was your turn to echo as you glance between them, talking a little quieter. “my brother didn’t… deserve to die the way he did. he was just a kid.”

“and we are sorry that happened,” sam attempts to revert the conversation back to the case, and not dean’s awestruck demeanor. “we can’t imagine.”

“we’re gonna figure out whatever this is, and make sure it never happens again,” dean snaps out of it for after a second— because he could imagine what it was like to lose a younger brother. he actually has before. “we’ll get the sonofabitch— y’know, make him swim with the fishes.”

that makes you smile— actually, genuinely smile. for the first time since your brother had died a week ago.

“i have no doubts,” you nod, uncrossing your legs once more, standing up and already starting deeper into the house as you talk. “now, let me show you the weapons hall. you boys might be able to use a couple things.”

“the weapons hall? dude,” dean almost jumps up from the couch, slapping sam on the shoulder— to which raises an eyebrow, shaking his head. the facade dean always put up when he was trying not to get excited was almost gone, if not completely. “c’mon, get movin’ sammy!”

okay, dean supposed, maybe working with the mafia would be cooler than he initially first thought. because this was kinda cool. you were kinda cool.

mostly the mafia part, though. not necessarily because he thought you were super awesome or anything.

at least, that’s what dean was telling himself.

───────────────────────── 𖤐

my master taglist (so far): @blossomingorchids @bluemerakis @ambiguous-avery @maddie0101 @titsout4jackles @deansbeer @sunsbaby @emeraldcrs @h8aaz @honeyryewhiskey @supernotnatural2005 @cowboysandcigarettes @soldiersgirl @figthoughts @mostlymarvelgirl @amaris444 @kaz-2y5-spn @littlesoulshine @starzify @velvetparkerx @eggggggggggggggggggggsblog @fuckedupfate @liiiilsss @angelblqde + i missed anyone OR if you want to be added/taken off, please just comment / send an ask! <3

[cleolinda]

I have not had a good week! In fact, it has been Very Bad! I did not care for it! It has been a Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts week, and I keep reminding myself to be grateful that it has not been a Chopped in Half at the Soul week! In fact, this has been my entire April!! I have not enjoyed it!!!

This particular week, I have had two routine doctor's appointments, and my blood pressure was weirdly low at the first one; I proceeded to feel like shit all week and take a lot of depression naps. Yesterday was the worst, and this morning, I realized that I hadn't taken any of my morning meds for some reason. I want you to understand that no one on this earth is more Medication Compliant than me. I feel like absolute shit, AS EVIDENCED YESTERDAY, if I miss so much as one batch of meds. I am bipolar, I have PCOS, I have hereditary neuropathy aggravated by a spinal injury, I am developing diabetes type 2 (also hereditary), I Do Not Miss Meds. Except when I do, apparently.

I don't know what was wrong with me before missing the Thursday morning meds, but I kind of feel like I'm having a tiny upswing now. (Oh, also, I fell off a low step on Wednesday. Like four inches, but I ended up flat on the floor so that wasn't great for my spine. I feel a bit jolted all over. But:) A little more will to live, maybe.

Anyway, I am DEEPLY FRUSTRATED that I keep trying to get things done and shit keeps getting in my way. (NO I STILL HAVE NOT GOTTEN OBS TO WORK YET THANK YOU FOR ASKING.) I will say, this is usually the point in a project where (in fairness to me) external obstacles show up, and I end up getting overwhelmed by life and giving up on it (the project, not life). At this point, I am trying to accept that I have been egregiously slowed down and that is FINE, it's FINE, because slow is better than giving up and I am a brave little toaster, good for me. BUT I AM SO FRUSTRATED AAAAHHH. It's FINE.

[corazondebeskar-reads]

we stay silly

Jackson!Joel Miller x gn!reader

note: I made this post and then got dicked down too good for it to be a “tmi with toni.” also @cavillscurls said “more” and while this probably wasn’t what you meant, I am very easily enabled.

words: no clue sorry I literally just wrote this on tumblr mobile in a post-nut haze. it’s not long.

summary: you and joel have a peaceful moment for both silliness and filth.

warnings: pwp, enthusiastic consent, gender neutral language, no description of reader beyond having legs, joel can move reader around but does not lift them, kept it gn on purpose but if you want to imagine this as never stood a chance joel and reader I ain’t stopping you (bcus they live in my head at all times), sweat kink?, armpit sniffing and licking, m!self, use of slut (affectionate), breath play, rack/ssc compliant, Joel has multiple orgasms and we pretend that’s reasonable at his age

“Hey, careful. My glasses are up there somewhere,” he says while you eagerly wiggle your joggers and underwear down and kick them off.

You’ll be cross later when they’re tangled up and inside out on the floor, but his thick cock is bobbing and drooling, so. More important things at hand.

You grope around the already-hopeless sheets—pulled up at three of the four corners from your fists balling and clinging while he finger fucked you open enough for him to fit—and hold up his glasses, victorious.

He reaches for them and you pull your hand back. His brow ticks up.

“Put ‘em on,” you say, then add “pleeeease?” for good measure.

“Put my readers on,” he says flatly. “Why in gods name would I need ‘em t’fuck you? S’there gonna be a test?”

“C’mon,” you whine, lower lip pushed out playfully.

He rolls his eyes. “Why?”

God, he’s such a stubborn ass. He’s gonna make you say it. “Because they’re hot.”

“Yeah? It gets you all hot n’ bothered? You get off to my eyes goin’?”

But there’s a gleam in his eye as he slips them on. He knows. He’s felt your filthy gaze when he’s reading next to you in bed, under the soft quilt and shadows cast from the lamp. He’s just been waitin’ for you to finally do somethin’ about it.

He doesn’t need them to see the way your chest rises and falls, still panting from his relentless attention. He doesn’t need them to see the way you’re covered in a sheen of sweat, a triumphant smirk making its way back onto his face.

He sure as shit doesn’t need them to see the way your eyes go dark and you squirm a little as he peers down the bridge of his nose at you, thin scar catching in his peripherals.

“So what is it?” He says, but it lands a little more husky than gruff. “You hot for teacher or somethin’?”

“Hot for teacher,” you mouth, rolling your eyes. “No, weirdo. It’s just a good look on you.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he says, and grabs you by the knees, yanking you and the poor sheet down to the edge of the bed.

You squeak in surprise even though he’s used this move before. It never fails to fluster you as he pulls and turns and manipulates your body as he wants.

There’s even less warning as the tip of his cock pushes inside, and he doesn’t wait to stuff the rest in. Your snappy retort dies in a shuddering gasp and you have to take a minute to recover.

He doesn’t give it to you, though. Well. He gives it to you, but it is every inch of his cock and not a reprieve.

Your legs are folded between you, calves on his shoulders. He watches the way your body shakes and spreads for him; you watch the way your feet bounce. One smacks lightly against the veiny expanse of his neck.

The giggles come unbidden and he almost stops fucking into you. Almost.

“What now?” He looks like he regrets asking as soon as the words are out.

“My feet. It’s so silly. Sex is silly,” you say with more laughter.

“Yep. Sure is,” he says, though there’s something fond in his gaze as he takes in your smile.

“We stay silly,” you say, one hand celebratorily raising the roof.

“Alright, that’s enough,” he says and covers your mouth with his giant hand.

Any response you might have rather given comes out in a moan.

“Yeah, you like that, I know,” he murmurs. He takes it away for a moment to fold your legs up, pressed to your chest. His hand comes back to stifle you as his hips pummel against yours. He’s fucking down into you, groaning and panting.

He’s relentless. A machine. For an old man, as you like to tease, he’s got the stamina of the goddamn energizer bunny. Jackhammers have nothing on your man.

“Come,” he huffs, and slides his hand up to cover your nose, too, smothering you with his sweaty palm. Your eyes roll back as you shake and clench around him.

“Goddamn, that’s it. That’s it, baby. Fuuuuck yeah,” he croons, pulling his hand away before you really run out of air.

His cum splatters across your stomach, having wrenched himself from your tight grasp. “Scoot,” he grunts, smacking at your ass.

You manage, somehow, to pull your body back up toward the headboard, and he sprawls on his back beside you, scooping you close with one arm.

“Take care of my balls, baby,” he coaches, groaning in delight as you cradle them in one hand while he lazily strokes his dick, his own seed as lube.

“That’s it,” he murmurs, and his arm crooks around the back of your neck. It tightens and you gasp, face first into his armpit.

“Such a good little slut,” he moans, holding you with your nose pressed to the damp thicket of hair there. He keeps you there, feeling you groan and shiver, as he brings himself to a second orgasm.

But he doesn’t relent, even then. You’ve gone limp in his grip, but he knows you’re fine. He knows because your tongue is lapping at him lightly. He chuckles.

“Filthy, nasty slut,” he says fondly. “You just can’t help yourself, huh? Gotta have a taste?”

You don’t answer, can’t answer, lost in him. That’s okay. He didn’t expect you to. He yanks on his cock, your hands gently stretching his balls, as he eases you both over the edge once more.

[dissolvedprincess]

Hi hi welcome to tumblr first and foremost!!!

I *loved* your angel fangs piece, legit had me drooling at some parts 👀👀

Since you're asking, perhaps a Frank piece where he just can't help but whine with how good you feel? It doesn't even have to be a submissive thing, just him slipping himself all the way in and by the time he's bottomed out he's whimpering?

Thank you thank you! People like you keep me goin’. I am so very happy to hear you enjoyed my writing ❤️ Hope you can indulge in this one just as well!!

Sweet Thing

✷ CW : 18+, fem reader, pinv sex

(not proofread)

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶

“Mmmm…shit.” Frank threw his head back into the pillows. The temptation to leave marks on his neck is too good to resist. You lick up his neck slowly, leaving behind trails of saliva from your sloppy kisses. He lets out delightful moans from your little nibbles. All while your bare cunt grinds back and forth on his dick. The contact is messy and conveniently wet thanks to his cum leaking out of you from minutes ago.

“You’re so good to me sweet thing.” Frank praises. His hands come up to massage your ass, aiding your movements.

You stop indulging yourself on his neck and sat back. “I can be better.”

“Yeah?” His eyes finally meet yours again. You like when he gets like this. Compliant and vulnerable to your charm and ministrations. With his brows all downturned and lids low.

“Mmhm.” You smile as you slowly sink down.

“Ohhh fuck me.” Frank moaned.

“I am sweets.” You tease. He’s full on melting under you. A groan escapes him with every drag of your soaked cunt.

“You take me so good sweetheart. Fucking hell.” He cursed as you brace your hands on his chest to ride him harder.

His eyelids fluttered as he felt your gummy walls grip him tighter. Repeatedly raising your hips up till his head remains, you’d then sink back down to the root.

You do take him like no other.

You feel him start to desperately buck up into your cunt. Effectively pushing himself impossibly deeper.

“You feel so good baby.” He whimpered. “Fuck oh- fuck.”

“You gonna cum in me again Frank?” You let out, holding out a moan from his relentless thrusts. “Fill my pussy up with your load? Lick it out of me again?”

“Please, please. I am- fuck-i do.”

You smile again with a dreamy glint in your eyes.

“Y’know what to do then baby. Take what you need.”

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶

Thank you for reading! Comments, likes, reblogs make me happy!

[see-arcane]

You can’t make people ship ships the way you want to ship them though. People can ship Orlok and Ellen in any way and under any lenses they really want to. Also judging by how interviews of cast and crew go they also wanted people to ship these characters and don’t view Ellen as abuse victim or CSA victim. It’s indeed kissy kissy vampire movie in a way as Ellen literally kisses Orlok on the lips and they have quite sensual vampire sex. I understand you can have frustration with some shipping or shippers and you are free to vent but you can’t change that people ship things or how they view and ship these things or how they view movies. People don’t look at movies and world with your eyes nor should they.

Don't want this to turn into a Thing, so I'd like to cap the topic off here.

I do not have a problem with people shipping Ellen and Orlok, or Thomas and Orlok, or Ellen and Thomas, or any combination thereof. Same goes for the actors/director who clearly wanted an element of attraction happening in the dynamic(s). It is gothic horror centering around the amorous and fucked up triangle these characters make. Ship happens.

What aggravates me is not just the bleaching and rose-colored glasses phenomenon with some folk's very literal non-joking interpretation of Orlok's attentions as purely ribald-romantic, but how it locks into a much longer, much more headache-inducing tradition that keeps getting grafted onto a very Specific kind of relationship in stories like this.

Red Riding Hood and the Wolf. Persephone and Hades. The last living wife standing and Bluebeard. Mina Harker and fucking Dracula.

Every time. Every single time that there is a Girl and an Aggressive Admirer/Predator involved in an original telling, it gets garroted, dragged through a Valentine Card printing press, and spat out the other side, either in genre-blind reinterpretations of every violent act or full-on spinoffs as Beauty and the Beast-flavored naughty xxx romance 😜 (Don't worry, she totally wanted it, she was just playing hard to get uwu)

When the girl is hunted. When the girl is imprisoned. When the girl is raped. When the girl has her life and the lives of loved ones threatened in order to make her compliant with what her attacker wants. No matter how much slaughter or entrapment or physical or psychological abuse is branded into the mythology or book or film, the rosy romantic revamp keeps happening.

I'm not going to sit down and go full hack psychology about the mechanics of forbidden fruit/desire/escapist kink involved in people's enjoyment of these stories. I love those stories! Can't get enough of the fucked uppery involved with narratives that take something like Love or Desire--traditionally upheld solely as Virtues reserved for curing a villain of their evil or firing in a glittery beam from some magical high schooler's wand--turned into something dangerous, maddening, and horrific. I eat that shit up.

What annoys and worries me is the lack of comprehension, or else outright ignoring, of the bare minimum of reality within a story in favor of sanitizing and filigreeing it into 'Just a naughty ;) romance~' wherein the Aggressor was definitely for real just a misunderstood suitor the Girl wanted all along..! as long as we ignore all the bodies and the repeated assaults and the bodily chucking her when she said a thing he didn't like and the point blank gaslighting and the attacking and entrapping her as a teenager as she screamed and went into the first of many many seizures and the fact that she was willing to die in order to kill him

Obviously I can't stop people from seeing what they want to see or thinking what they want to think. Imagination Land has no borders and folks can do whatever. I'm not going around with hardcover editions of Dracula, pummeling errant shippers for their transgressions.

I am just venting. Because venting and languishing and praying for actual critical thinking to make a comeback in media literacy is all I can do in the face of so many people reinventing the Coppola Wheel and stapling it over a work that is itself hammering the audience over the head with a plot about coercion and twisted relationships and murders committed en masse to make a girl put out for her stalker

Give it five years, we'll see Nosferatu: A Love Tale in theaters, directed by Luc Besson, in which the tragic Prince Orlok pines for the time displaced period piece goth girl, Ellen Murray, who is so very sick and tired of her boring boorish throwaway fiance, Thomas Hutter and longs for Orlok's leather clad embrace.

[glycerineclown]

ddba-compliant "what happened in between frank reappearing after the blip and karen leaving new york" current word count: 10,264

i am NOWHERE NEAR finished. there is femdom happening. frank is getting back in touch with himself in a big way. karen's reading him the riot act. frank is a stubborn son of a bitch. also WHY did i buy tickets to a comedy show for born again finale night??

anyway here's the first 1300 words! 💀💕

-

It’s days like this that Frank hates how attached he is to driving a truck in New York. Curtis’ group meeting started five minutes ago, and he’s been circling the surrounding blocks for fifteen, looking for parking. 

Finally, a delivery vehicle pulls away from a curb, and Frank is able to snag the spot. He gets out quickly, feeds the meter with a handful of coins from his cupholder, and starts toward the church.  

He’s still a block and a half south when the screaming starts, up and down the street, all around him. 

His gaze darts to the rooftops above, looking for a shooter, but the trees lining the sidewalk are lush with greenery and he can’t see shit—and then he’s knocked into by a woman staggering out of a shop. Her groceries slip from her shoulder, oranges rolling, but before he can even steady himself, her body just—fades, disintegrates, until all that’s left of her is some kind of grey-brown matter.

Frank blinks, sure he’s dreaming. 

After that, he witnesses six different car crashes in the space of a minute. Closest impact, a yellow taxi with a crunched front end—Frank approaches from the drivers’ side, expecting to see airbags at the very least, but no one’s inside, all the doors still closed and locked.

Cries for help, then, banging on a window, and Frank turns to look. Another crashed car, this one with a crying girl in the back seat. He hurries over, tries the doors. Frank squints through the glass again, starts to ask how badly she’s hurt—maybe she could climb into the drivers’ seat and hit the unlock button—but then he feels a strange tickle on the back of his neck, down his arms. 

Frank watches the girl’s horrified expression as parts of his chest begin flaking away, as his knee collapses under him. There’s no pain, which is weird. 

This is probably a dream anyway.

Everything goes quiet, and dark like he’d blinked a little too long—

—and then it all comes back in a rush of wind. 

The car and the kid are gone, it’s raining all of a sudden, and he’s on his back, on the asphalt. People are running, screaming—Frank gets to his feet and takes off, out of the street. 

It’s about as chaotic as a warzone, like the immediate aftermath of a suicide bomb—people bleeding, crying, running, do you have a cell phone, I need to call my wife—have you seen a little boy, his name is Angelo—I’m not getting any goddamn bars on this thing—and people materializing, reappearing out of thin air, as confused as Frank is.

It’s so loud. The trees are half-bare, dry orange leaves grinding under his boots.

Frank may as well check the church first. He runs to the corner to cross with several others before the light changes, and then one more block.

The place was never fancy, not magnificent like some of the cathedrals that have been in this city since before his parents were born—but it looks different, dirty and overgrown, the cheerful flower beds now shriveled—and when he yanks the handles on the carved wooden doors, they’re locked. He’s definitely got the right building, there’s still the same coffee shop across the street.

It’s beyond weird, but if Frank knows Curtis, he’ll be out doing what he can, helping.

Frank turns back in the direction he’d come, back toward his truck, and reaches into his pocket for his phone. In upper right corner of the screen are two words: NO SERVICE. Frank goes to his contacts anyway, and pulls up Karen’s number. When he hits call, nothing happens. 

“Are you getting a signal?” a man asks, when he sees Frank with his phone out. “Mine’s not working.” The man looks desperate, and a little like he’s seen a ghost.

Frank apologizes tightly and keeps walking, picks back up to a run once he’s past the crosswalk, but when he returns to the place where he’d parked—it couldn’t have been more than ten minutes ago, right outside an H&R Block—the truck is nowhere to be found. 

The H&R Block is boarded up.

He doesn’t know what this is, but it can’t be good. His heart’s pounding, his hands itching for the gun he left in the glove compartment. He’d guess Karen’s at work at this hour, and he’ll take the chance on foot, since Nelson’s Meats is a lot closer than her apartment in Williamsburg. Who knows what all this will turn into. 

Frank points himself toward Hell’s Kitchen and starts running. Along the way, he sees more stuff he doesn’t like—small children by themselves, dogs with leashes trailing on the ground. An elderly woman says something that sounds pleading, but he can’t understand the language she’s speaking. 

Way too many of the bodegas and restaurants he passes are boarded up or have yellowed newspaper in the windows. Buildings with obvious fire damage. 

Through open windows and on front porches, Frank can hear people screaming. 

What are you doing here? Get out of my apartment! 

What do you mean, you’re the manager? I’ve been the manager o’ this joint for fifteen years!

¡Esta es mi casa!

But people are hugging, too, crying. Oh, you’re back from the dead!

They’re maybe the longest two and a half miles of his life. He can’t get distracted. He can be a do-gooder once he knows if Karen’s okay.

After he hits 10th Avenue, he takes a left, then four more blocks—he thinks West 46th is the right street, but it’s only when he sees the green and yellow sign that he knows he was right.

Frank skids to a stop, panting, overheated, thirsty. He wipes a shaking hand over his face. A placard, Nelson, Murdock & Page, is by the door, still shiny black and gold. He peers in the window—the lights are on—and he tries the handle, but it’s locked. Frank raps his knuckles on the glass, and a figure standing inside turns around.

It’s Foggy Nelson, in a suit, his shorter hair a little messed up in the front. As he gets closer to the window, his eyes go wide, and he unlocks the door. A bell jingles overhead as Foggy pushes it open.

“Counselor.”

“Oh my god,” Foggy says. “You’re back too. I just got off the phone with my dad in Tampa, my mom’s beside herself—”

Frank walks in and looks around as the door shuts behind him. The relief is real, but this familiar face isn’t enough, not yet. “Is—is Karen here?”

“Yeah, yeah, she’ll be so—” Foggy steps back. “Karen!”

“On the phone!” comes her voice, from another room. 

Frank heads in the direction of the doorway, but stops before she’s in his field of vision, because Karen’s laughing, almost hysterical. It might be enough, just to hear her.

“Oh, I can’t believe this,” she says. “Please let me know if you need anything, I’m still in Williamsburg—yeah, yes, definitely.”

Frank shuffles forward, and there she is. Karen’s wearing a dress he’s never seen before, her hair a few inches shorter than he remembers. She looks up, and their eyes lock. Her mouth drops open to gape at him, her eyes filling with tears.

“Ellison, I—I gotta go,” she says, and hangs up the phone.

She gets to her feet slowly, and comes around the side of her desk, until she’s standing right in front of him, close enough to touch. She exhales his name like it’s a sob, and throws her arms around him.

Just like that, all the tension in Frank’s body dissipates. He cups the back of her head, feels his own eyes well up as she presses her face into his neck. 

“You’re all sweaty,” she says, sniffling, and laughs.

“Yeah, I ran here from—” He frowns over at Foggy in the doorway. “What the fuck happened?”

“You’ve been gone,” Foggy says. “Half the population has been gone, for five years.”

“Bullshit.”

“No,” Karen says, pulling back to see his face, shaking her head. “No, it’s—” she turns back to her desk, and picks up a copy of the New York Bulletin, pointing at the date on the front page: October 16, 2023. “This is from yesterday. It’s 2023 for us, Frank.”

Frank breathes out. This is probably a dream anyway.

[babyboydaniel]

Knock, Knock (M) | Part 1

Daniel Ricciardo x Fem!Reader | Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lando really needs to learn how to knock.

Smut, Fluff | Warnings: 18+, Fingering, Semi-Public, Masturbation, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, very slight Somnophilia | Word Count: 2K

Walking into the McLaren hospitality for the first time was nerve-wracking. You had been dating Daniel for over a year but you had not accompanied him to a race. Not that you did not want to. No, it was the opposite. Unfortunately, your job kept you busy, and your schedule never lined up with the race weekends. But work slowed down enough for you to fly out to Austin with Daniel. Giving you the chance to support him during one of his favorite races of the season.

Daniel held your hand in his, providing comfort as you walked through the building. Everyone seemed to want to stop and talk to him. Not that it surprised you. He is the type of person everyone gravitates towards. His warm and welcoming smile, the way his beautiful eyes concentrated when people talked. It is hard not to love him. You were head over heels, so you can’t blame them. But, as person after person came up to him, Daniel’s hand never left yours. Making sure you were close at all times. Smiling down at you when given the chance and introducing you to those you have never met.

Eventually, you made your way through the hoards of people and you found your way to Daniel’s driver’s room. It was small, but you welcomed the seclusion. You are not used to all the attention. Daniel and you were pretty private, keeping your relationship to yourselves. Whole heartedly loving each other in your own little bubble. Only letting a select few witness it. 

“Sorry, I did not expect that there would be so many people here by now,” Daniel apologized as he wrapped his arms around you. His beautiful amber eyes locking on to yours. 

You could get lost in them, spend hours just staring at him.

“It’s okay, it’s a good problem to have,” you responded, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Suppose so,” Daniel said as he dipped his head to capture your lips.

You sighed into the kiss. Your lips parted to take Daniel’s bottom lip between yours, gently sucking and biting it. Teasing him. Before pressing your lips back to his. Daniel moaned as he returned the gesture. Pulling your body flush against his. Using his lips and tongue to leave you absolutely breathless and compliant. 

Kissing Daniel was one of your favorite activities. It was all about give and take until he got fed up with your games and took all for himself, forcing you to submit to him. He knew exactly what to do to turn you into a utter mess. 

As Daniel grabbed your ass, pressing his semi to your covered core, you ground against him as you whined the sound of the door being opened caused you both to jump. 

“Daniel, are you in-.”

You glanced over Daniel’s shoulder to see who the intruder was. Your eyes met with Lando Norris, his hand still resting on the doorknob as he stood halfway in the doorway. His pink mouth hung open as his eyes shifted to Daniel’s arms still around your waist.

“Shit. Sorry, they just need us for some media, and I knocked a couple of times. You didn’t respond,” Lando rambled, his cheeks tinted pink. Cute, you thought. 

Turning to face him, Daniel laughed as he shook his head, “No worries, mate.”

It was at this moment that you could fully see Lando, now that Daniel was no longer blocking your line of sight. He looks like he did on TV. Devastatingly handsome but still holding onto that boyish charm. Unsurprisingly, he was wearing his papaya orange hoodie and black pants, even though it was hotter than the sun out. You smiled at him. He smiled back, a look of embarrassment still painted his features. 

As Daniel slipped his arm around your waist, he brought your attention back to him.

“Babe, as I am sure you know, this is Lando. Lando, this is Y/N, my girlfriend,” Daniel gestured between the two of you as he introduced you.

“Hi,” you responded, stretching out your hand to shake.

Lando took your hand in his. Wow, his hands are big, floated through your mind as his slender fingers covered yours. 

“Nice to meet you,” he mused. His fingers softly trailed over your skin as he pulled his hand back to rest at his side. His gaze not leaving yours. Questioning, but assured. He smirked. 

Daniel cleared his throat, “Alrighty, now that we all know each other, I guess we should go get that media stuff done.”

Lando nodded and turned to leave the two of you to say your goodbyes.

Daniel pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “I will be back as soon as possible.”

You smiled up at your loving boyfriend and kissed him one last time before you pushed him out the door. Once alone, you flung yourself onto the small sofa in the room with a groan. Your mind wandered to Lando and his hands, how he looked at you, and the blush on his cheek when he walked in on you. Did he hear you moan? He had to. For some reason that made you feel hot, your thighs pressing togther at the thought. 

Get it together, you chastised. You barely know the guy, and you were in a loving committed relationship. Fuck, the last thing you need is to be thinking about Lando. Especially when you were here to cheer on your boyfriend, Daniel. You pressed your palms against your eyes, hoping to erase the images from your mind. 

You were not up to walking around by yourself, and it seemed like there was no better time to catch up on the book you were reading. So, with the novel in hand you curled up on the couch. In a couple turns of the page you were sleeping. You awoke to Daniel running his fingers through your hair and softly calling your name. Your eyes slowly opened, and Daniel’s face came into focus.

“There she is,” he murmured.

You smiled at him, leaning into his touch, “Sorry, I guess the lack of sleep caught up with me.”

Daniel chuckled, “Don’t worry about it, babe. I am sorry I can’t be here to entertain you as much.”

You shook your head, “No need to apologize,” you understood that he had other priorities on race weekends.

“Did you enjoy your nap?” he questioned as he maneuvered you so you were snuggled into his lap.

Instinctually, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders as you nuzzled into his neck. You nodded your head. Daniel’s arms pulled you in tighter as he ran a hand up and down your back, comforting you. The two of you sat like that for a long time, you almost falling back asleep. Until a ding from Daniel’s phone broke through the quiet. Daniel shuffled under you to reach for his phone, stilling once he finally got it. He sighed.

“Fuck,” he grumbled, “they scheduled a last-minute interview in 15 minutes.”

“Boooo,” you joked. 

“I am sorry, babe. But I have to take off again,” he continued.

“I get it,” you mumbled, lips still pressed to his neck.

Daniel pulled you close, pressing a tender kiss to your temple before shifting you off his lap. With a kiss to your lips, Daniel was off again.

You picked up your book to continue where you left off but after a couple of steamy pages your mind had wandered elsewhere. The nerves from the morning had finally worn off and you began to think about your morning with Daniel. Your core throbbing just at the thought of it. You had woken up with his dick pressed into your back and his hand cupping your pussy. As you shook the sleep off, Daniel began rubbing your clit. Using your wetness to get you off. You were moaning and panting in no time, moving closer and closer to the edge. Begging him to fuck you or at the very least put his fingers in you. Then his fucking alarm went off, and Daniel immediately removed his hands from you. Fumbling to turn off the alarm and swung his legs over the bed.

“Daniel,” you had whined, “you aren’t going to finish what you started?”

Daniel looked down at you guiltily, “Fuck, sorry! We are so late, and I have media duties right when I get there.”

You sighed as you frustratedly fell against the pillows and glared at your boyfriend.

“I’ll make it up to you,” he reasoned.

So, you were forced to get ready and head to the track without a release. No longer feeling like you were going to throw up from anxiety your need to get off came back tenfold. Since Daniel denied you earlier, the least you can do is finger yourself while waiting for him to come back. Sucks to be him. 

With your mind made up, you laid back against the arm of the sofa with your legs spread open on the cushions. The cold air sent a shiver up your spine. As you got comfortable, you ran your hands over your breasts, gently massaging them before focusing your attention on your nipples. Your thumbs rubbed over the growing buds. You let out a breathy moan. You needed more.

Lucky for you, you wore a dress, easy access, as Daniel would say. Grabbing the hem of the dress, you pushed it up until it was bunched under your armpits. Your sheer white underwear on full display. You shivered just at the thought of Daniel seeing you like that. Spread out and on display for him. Your hands were back on your breasts. Pulling them from the confines of your bra. Your nipples hardened once touched by the cold air. Just that was enough to make you gasp. As one hand played and tugged at your nipples, your other hand trailed down until it met the edge of your underwear, teasing yourself.

You lightly brushed over your covered slit. Barely touching your clit throught the thin fabric. Just enough for you to want more. To work yourself up until you cannot take it any longer. You moaned louder this time. Biting your lip, you glanced towards the door. The thought of someone walking by or hearing you flitted through your mind. But, you were too turned on to stop. So, you pressed against your clit a little harder, imagining that Daniel was touching you.

You could feel your underwear begin to get wet where your juices dripped from you. It was only then that you allowed yourself to push your underwear around your thighs and touch your clit. The whine that left your mouth would have been heard if anyone was walking by. That only spurred you on more. Wanting people to hear how gone you were for your boyfriend, even when he is not the one touching you. Slowly, you circled that orgasmic bundle of nerves, edging yourself while your other fingers pushed into you. The feeling was euphoric. Not as good as when Daniel did it, but you took what you could at the moment. The sound of how wet you were as your fingers pumped turned you on more. Your arousal was obvious and the room smell like it. It was intoxicating while you increased the speed of your fingers pumping into you and rubbing your clit faster as you were quickly approaching your orgasm.

“Fuck,” you moaned.

Your fingers pressed against your G-spot, and it was all over. With your back arched and toes curled, you heard the door open. Your eyes were wide as you peeked to your right. Meeting the gaze of the onlooker. But you could not stop as your orgasm racked your body. You were coming as your release leaked out around your fingers. A strangled moan fell from your lips.

“Fuck,” they whispered, their lustful blue eyes locked on your dripping fingers still stuffed in your pussy.

You squealed as it finally sunk in that Lando Norris witnessed you coming all over your fingers.

At the noise, his eyes moved to look at you, tongue reaching out to wet his lips. He smirked at you.

What the fuck were you going to tell Danny, you thought.

Part 2

[crackersandjuice]

EVBO???? EVBO YOUR FUCKING MIND HOLY SHIT???

pvpciv the lore the LOREEEEEEEE. oh my god. Oh My God. i have. So Many Thoughts. like. Like. this is going under a cut i need to Ramble.

why are the shields grouped with the swords. parrot didn't mention anything about them fighting with the other civs so maybe they allied with the swords??? or the other groups also send them there as punishment??? but the first one is probably more likely because shields can't do damage they can only defend. also sword and shield imagery ya know.

(side note: i am So Glad guard friend "raymond" pvpciv doesn't know shit lol. my guardbo heart couldn't take it if he was yet another person that betrayed evbo.)

and why the fuck can't the swords use multiple items!! is it like a trade off with the whole netherite thing?? they can become immortal but they can only use said source of immortality as a weapon. does that make sense i hope it makes sense.

the memory loss!! if players aren't spawned into their civilizations and are instead spawned out into the world, maybe swordciv wipes their memories so they don't want to leave. but that in turn just makes their lives a living hell because they fight each other AUGH. just don't make an economy y'all don't make your society have to pay for shit with the very thing you need to live </3

TABI. TABI FUCKING. HER. IM LOVE HER. i am Not abandoning my found family goodness you can pry that from my cold dead hands but!! her betrayal OH that was so good. she either does have some attachment to evbo or she probably has some further use for him if she spared him like. maybe she's trying to goad him into following her?? idk why she would but it's a possibility!

what else...OH YEAH the animation! qdandy chef's kiss i am eating it up like a bowl of spaghetti.

oh god...oh god my fics are gonna be soooo non-canon compliant. test drive lovers we live in ignorant bliss over in that au o7. but!! i am also Very Very excited to explore the new lore in other fics. this bouta make my "evbo gets turned into a spectacle" au go wild.

[maxdibert]

People don't understand that what Snape went through and that he chose to follow the dark lord makes sense, even if it is morally wrong. If people don't believe you, I can testify that you said nothing but the truth even if you didn't lived through that (one doesn't have to ,to understand), I grew up in the worst neighborhood in my country and we were poor to a point that I had my own room only because my parents slept in the livingroom and I only got my first bed at 9. But I was loved and cared for by at least one parent! It makes for a lot things up!

And boy, does that make a difference ! So many of my childhood-friends that grew up here joined gangs, became teen parents, dropped out of school stay unemployed and so on. I'm the exception out of all the kids, it's pretty lonely though .I was the first one to graduate high school in my whole family, the first to not have a kid before 24, and will soon be the first one with a degree ! I know I am the exception because my mother took action in my education, spent time and cared for me and dropped my dad after his gambling addiction went overboard. This is the very difference: yes Snape was poor , but also no one cared or loved him. Money can't buy everything , it can't buy love or a good childhood, we see young adults every day from good stable families crashing out and doing crazy shit, the public points at them with fingers only later to find out that they went through hell in that big fancy mansion.

Of course Severus went for the first hand that fed him, you can count either lily or death-eaters. And it makes sense that he put lily even decades later on such a high podest mentally , because she was the first one to show him kindness and after years of mistreatment he thoroughly believes he deserves nothing but cruelty. He was denied love all his life and as an adult he rejected any form of love or friendliness.

I handle legal cases for people who were born and raised in terribly hostile environments, with families that were not only poor but trapped in spirals of violence and dysfunction, where the entire setting was basically a constant push toward substance use, addiction, and consequently, criminality. And I find it quite… I wouldn’t even say just classist or privileged (though it is that too), but downright audacious to claim that if you were in those people’s shoes, you would have acted in a morally impeccable way. Because 1) statistically, it’s extremely unlikely—numbers don’t lie—and 2) no one has the slightest idea how they’d turn out after growing up in such a hostile environment.

It’s like people can’t really put themselves in someone else’s shoes. They try to “imagine” it, but always from their own privileged perspective, never by truly trying to think like a person with all those disadvantages and hardships. And it’s so easy to judge—my job is literally to convince judges that people did something wrong due to a series of understandable and explainable circumstances, while another lawyer, usually the prosecutor, is trying to convince them of the opposite.

So yeah, I’m used to it, but I’ll never stop being amazed at how selective empathy is. People can be very empathetic—as long as the victim is compliant or socially acceptable. But if the victim doesn’t fit into the moralistic and classist narrative that’s been ingrained into our culture, then suddenly it’s all unforgivable.

What people don’t understand is that just as you can’t ask someone who’s never seen the ocean, a lake, or a river to know anything about swimming, you also can’t ask someone who’s never been taught to be emotionally or affectively functional to just be that way overnight. Or ask someone raised around violence, who never learned any patterns of self-control, to magically know how to manage themselves. It’s absurd. The mind doesn’t work like that.

[fafodill]

I'm glad you liked my (perfectly reasonable and canon compliant) ship suggestions to glacierberries. I also have a little additional bellambrige piece written in the reblogs, because evil wlw rules.

Want your opinion on those ones:

- Gilderoy Lockhart/Voldemort (narcissists, unite!)

- Severus Snape/Augusta Longbottom (Neville is hysterical)

- Lily Evans/Horace Slughorn (he talks of her SUSPICIOUSLY well)

- Sirius Black/Fenrir Greyback (if the fandom wants Sirius to bang a daddy werewolf – fine, but at least pick an actual daddy werewolf)

And our newest addition – ✨️kreagulus✨️

Regulus definitely was unhealthily obsessed with Kreacher. I mean, why else would he betray Voldemort, am I right? He just wanted to fuck him😔 #elfcelregulus

I shit you not I almost CRIED laughing as I read those. These are AMAZING!

✨Lockmort is a banger. They'd meet because Gilderoy would keep on stealing competent wizard's work, including undercover DE and leaving them with memory brain damage. Voldemort is pissed and demands to have the responsible captured. Once they finally meet (read: someone yeet Gilderoy in the room and he's on the ground at Voldy's feet), Gilderoy is absolutely shaking in fear like a newborn bird but then Voldemort (who's pretty disappointed already) gives him a compliment about his charm skills and cleverness in avoiding detection and Gilderoy gets on his feet and puff his chest in pride and they start talking. And to Voldemort's horror, the man is a HUGE moron but he's also strangely clever in his own way? (he's ravenclaw after all) Greet schemer, very good liar, very ambitious, totally narcissistic but if Voldy gives him attention and fame, then the guy might give him GREAT IDEAS to pull wool over important people's eyes and get a fuck-ton of money. Like, he's an expert con-artist! And also, he's a total whimpering sub in bed, especially when you make him look at himself in a mirror. 8.5/10, Voldy would use snakes as bondage ropes on him. 🐍

🐦‍⬛Snaugusta (I'm wheezing), I can see them bonding over Augusta coming to school one day and - as an involved guardian figure - ask to talk with the Potion Professor with whom her grandson is having so much trouble with. She's pretty pissed at first but find Severus's sternness very refreshing and totally agrees with him and his methods. They have similar old-school views about school and what is to be expected from a proper wizard. Also she finds him very attractive. Had she been 30 years younger she'd have asked him out. She won't tho, she's too well-educated to meddle with her grandson's professor. Also Severus would have said no for approximately 12 diff reasons. 6/10. IF she was to hit on him in a post-war AU and he's a bit drunk, I can see it happening. Why the fuck not, he's not even supposed to be alive and life makes no sense. It wouldn't last tho, she's way too bossy in bed.

🍷Slugvans, I mean you're right, he's clearly talking about her a bit too much and too fondly. But how could he approach her with James AND Severus ready to pounce on him if he made an inappropriate move? No, he'd have to meet her outside of school, after her graduation. He'd take her out on a lunch date on Diagon Alley and be totally prepared to be her daddy. I see him as an old gentleman, he's not lusting after her per say (he'd even blush so hard if she was to take his hand, oh my!). If we go with the idea that Lily was interested in James because of his status and the protection it would give her, then Slughorn is also a safe bet! And he's got tons of connections! She could be his dear trophy wife/sugar baby and not have to worry about getting pregnant because if they did the do, he'd be super cautious about it. Lily lives, no Harry, no prophecy, Sirius kisses James while they're drunk one night and everybody is happy. Though they wouldn't last a lifetime as she's way too fiery for his old bones and she'd get bored and leave him a few years along the line. No bad blood though. A solid 7/10.

🐺GreyBlack, yes, THIS is the werewolf daddy fanon!Sirius deserves. The problem is, Sirius is bigoted towards werewolves so if he doesn't want Remus, he won't want Fenrir. BUT he would find his 'fuck society' stance really sexy. Fenrir would so be his leather daddy after school. Sirius would act as if he's not interested then finally cave in when the man would shove him against a wall and rip his clothes apart. But also... would Sirius run the risk of getting transformed? I don't believe Fenrir doesn't use teeth when he fucks. So yeah, werewolf!Sirius entering the ring for sure! But he'd loose Remus friendship for good and I don't think Fenrir would appreciate his rebel posh ass for long before tossing him out of the pack so 4/10, not compatible enough imo.

💎Kreagulus is, since I saw the post a few days ago, absolutely canon. Kreature was the only nice person towards poor old Reg' in this godforsaken house. Their love and loyalty towards one another is endless. But I like them tragic, so Reg' never confessed his feelings, except when he wept about it as he was dying while drinking the cursed potion. Kreature has been heartbroken since. He's never going to get over it, 12/10.

[fenrysmoonbeamswife]

Your repeated complaints about how people draw Nesta are so insanely self centered. If you don’t like how people are drawing or commissioning Nesta, draw or commission Nesta artwork yourself!

This fandom has got far too much audacity to be complaining about the free artwork they are receiving at the expense of commissioners and/or the time and effort of artists.

No one owes you anything. Artwork doesn’t have to be canon compliant. Do it yourself if you’re not happy with the way people choose to depict her or is your only talent complaining on the internet?

My repeated complaints? You mean my one singular post? Yes very repetitive I'm so sorry for bombarding you with these numerous posts

So it's audacious to want a character to look like themselves? It's audacious to want people to not over sexualize and fetishize female characters constantly? Fanart doesn't have to be canon but when it's a struggle to find fanart of a canonically modest character that isn't sexualized, there's a bigger problem and I'm going to point it out

I never said anyone owed me anything I just pointed out how fucking weird it is and I stand by that. And I don't owe you or artists anything either btw, I'm allowed to point out whatever the fuck I want actually and if you don't like it you can see yourself out. Hypocrite

Yes I am very talented at complaining, thank you so much for noticing anon. Is your only talent being a coward? Try say this shit to my face 😊

[bookwormbynight]

Do you have any death note fic recommendations? :3

I'VE BEEN GETTING SO MANY ASKS idk if y'all are different people or just one or what but either way I love blabbing on the internet about my opinion so I am NOT mad about the attention 💖

When in doubt, pretty much anything in my AO3 bookmarks page. I'll link straight to the death note ones for ya.

I'm currently in the process of rereading Rabbit Holes. I basically read that one in two sittings the first time. Light is the first sentient AI and L figures out that he's alive. The whole thing is kind of an exploration of trust, consent, and personhood v being human.

Other than that, let's do a top ten list so I don't spend three hours listing fifty different fanfics, shall we?

Ah fuck this constraint is gonna hurt me though 🫠

THESE ARE ARRANGED BY WORD COUNT NOT FAVORITISM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO WHITTLE THIS SHIT DOWN

Memento Mori - Light confesses to being Kira after getting raped just after he gets off the chain in order to cash in on that execution check L promised. L doesn't know what the fuck is going on, but he's gonna keep Light alive until he feels satisfied with the answer.

Offer Me My Deathless Death - L is a vampire who met Light the first time hundreds of years ago. Every time Light dies, he's born again more twisted than he was before. This affects the canon storyline.

Gag Order - L's team finds Light underground in Italy with his jaw wired shut. It's very found-family with a hint of shinigami magic.

Degrees of Freedom - L and Light fall in love during the Yotsuba Arc, and L's desire to keep it trumps his desire to meet Kira again, so he fucks some shit up himself. The age gap is emphasized.

all in a day's work - Light is a porn star and L is a "very demanding top" (he makes Light come twice while Light's actively trying not to).

Sola Fide - Light didn't get to Naomi Misora before Naomi got to L, so he gets the Misa treatment.

Light Yagami Doesn't Have A Fire Extinguisher In His Room (& Other Cautionary Tales) - Light's DESK BOMB goes off and burns the notebook and Light's memories, and the rest of the fanfic is a fucking comedy exploring the consequences.

Atheists - It's an AU but it's canon compliant. But also not. You just have to read it dude I swear.

The Desire of Gods - I can't summarize this one either read it coward. Yotsuba Arc shenanigans.

catch a falling knife - L shaves Light's face and somehow it fucks me up.

[lilolilyr]

Mostly a generic Witcher series moodboard but I did make it while reading the Accidental Warlord series by @inexplicifics and I can only recommend everyone read it as well it's really good <3

~~~ continue reading ~~~

The problem with reading extremely amazing more than book length with spin offs canon-divergence fic big on the divergence part? There's no way I'll go back to normal fic after this because this is way better than anything canon related! Oh well, it's nice while it lasts, and there are always other fandoms to go to for a long while until I've forgotten this series enough that I can read more canon compliant shit again xD

On the topic of forgetting things tho - I do that quite quickly and frequently, so I write summaries of longfics and series I read especially wips, and this one turned too long for the Ao3 bookmark - even though I'm only summarizing the main fics where the plot happens - so here we go instead! reading feb25, am at 21/1 making this post, but I'll keep updating the summary. Which, yeah, the rest of the post is my excuse to keep the summary on tumblr xD

Oh also, i had read the star wars version of this by BairnSidhe first before i even realized it's based on this! The fic is also very very good.

more like it: https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Inspired%20by%20The%20Accidental%20Warlord%20and%20His%20Pack%20Series%20-%20inexplicifics/works

~

spoilers p1 - with a conquering air

Jaskier is sent as a tribute, given up as a sacrifice by his family and the other royalty, who think he'll be raped and killed by the Witchers.

When Eskel meets him in Kaer Mohen, he frees Jaskier from his bindings and brings him to Gerald and Yennefer. When she finds out he's a bard she decides Geralt needs a court bard, and Jaskier stays with them. He also tutors Ciri.

Jaskier finds that Geralt is kind, nice to Ciri, lets his friends tease him... and Geralt is hot. Jaskier starts falling in lust and love with him, and a year after he arrives they get together

spoilers p4 - only love proudly and gladly and well

Jaskier's home country negotiates a treaty with the Witchers. Jaskier rewrites the whole thing in their favor and accompanies the witchers and Yennefer there.

Jaskier helps clear up misconceptions about the Witchers to some younger court people, among them Milena of Roggeven, telling to them all about how nice the witchers treated him despite him being sent as a sacrifice, and how he fell in love with Geralt.

The witchers learn that way about him being a sacrifice in the first place. They have his father sent away, threatening to kill him should they ever see him again, and have the king sign the treaty without any changes.

Back home, several eligible women come to court Geralt. Yennefer and Jaskier make plans to make their stay miserable, as well as creating a set of rules for potential wives, including needing to accept Ciri as heir, and getting her approval for the position.

Jaskier also thinks about whether he wants his relationship with Geralt to be made official and decides that if Geralt wants that, he wants it too.

Milena is one of the ladies in waiting sent with the women, befriends Jaskier and falls in love with Lambert.

A princess attacks Jaskier, he survives, she is sent home via portal accompanied by angry witchers. The other women are kicked out, except Milena who swears loyalty.

spoilers p9 - your faults had made me love you more

Milena finds her place in Kaer Moen, teaching Ciri, helping Yennefer with Geralt's correspondence, sending letters home, helping Triss in the still, doing embroidery, learning dagger fighting from Lambert and teaching him to braid her hair.

Milena gets together with Lambert

Zofia, a human fighter woman and another witcher's lover, has some advice for her: to wait until she's ready to sleep with him, where a more private place to bathe is during her monthlies, and that witchers' lovers end up almost as immortal as the witchers themselves.

spoilers p11 - Twirl Three Notes and Make a Star

The witcher is invited to an even festival. Jaskier, Ciri and 13 witchers incl Eskel journey there also so Jaskier and Ciri won't be home for the Witcher Trials. They save a family of elves from a monster and Ciri befriends the kid.

Eskel and Jaskier grow closer. Jaskier knows Geralt would take Eskel to bed if he asked and suspects Eskel thinks the same of Geralt. Once they meet at the festival all three get together.

Jaskier meets a historian elf and invites him to Kaer Morhen to write the Witcher histories.

spoilers p14 - I Have Heart-Fire and Singing to Give

At some point I think before this part

Jaskier goes to Oxenfurt with Milena and 20 witchers to guard them incl Eskel and Lambert. During his performance, Milena is kidnapped through a portal and before they can do anything Jaskier is kidnapped through another one, Eskel stabbed as he follows them.

The plot was made by Milena's sister Marta, the princess Agatha who stabbed Jaskier before, and a sorceress. Marta wants the shame of her sister living with witchers removed from her family, Agatha just wants revenge.

Jaskier bandages Eskel, Milena has hairpins to unlock their shackles and hidden daggers from Lambert. When they confront them, Agatha tries to stab Milena and Milena kills her. Jaskier knocks out the sorceress, and the spell hiding them is lifted so Yennefer can find them.

Marta begs them not to have her actions affect her family and their little sister Marika. Jaskier offers for Marta to go into exile in a part of the wolf's country where they stopped on their way to an elf festival, in return for the baron's daughter becoming another lady in waiting for Ciri, so Marta won't have to be killed

spoilers p20 - The Debt Is Terrible That Must Be Paid In Song

Jaskier is temporarily turned into 6y/o Julian, scared of his own father and any adult men in power.

Smelling his dear and being angry of his father's treatment of him, Aubrey, who looks out for him like an older brother, realizes the treatment of the witchers-to-be is wrong. Once Jaskier is turned back, it is put to a vote, and decided that the training will change - from now on they will be trained like Ciri is, and she will train with them.

Spoilers p24 - the Shadow of the Mountains Will Not Fall

Geralt is dangerously injured in a plot by the king of temeria. He lives but requires many potions. Ciri organizes the trainees to help brew more while Jaskier organizes the rest of the castle.

Eskel kills the king and anyone else in the plot, then puts Griffin, a minor baron from the countryside who had no idea what's going on, on the throne.

In p25 we learn Emhyr var Emreis actually had something to do with the plot. He then learns who Ciri is and decides they need to try diplomacy instead.

Spoilers p28 - Found At Last In Meeting Eyes

Griffin, the new King of Temeria, needs a wife to establish his lineage and to help him rule the basically completely new court because everyone from the old one was killed... he asks the Warlord for aid in finding him a wife.

He has help from his older sister Tara in running the household, but they're worried about their youngest sister, 14 y/o Nix, who is a wildling and wouldn't do well at court, and while that's alright for a baron's youngest, it's not for a princess, and she'd be in danger if left home for much longer but miserable at court or married off... He and Tara decide that it will be a good question to pose to any potential wives(queens), will they try to break Nix's spirit or understand the true difficulties or even have valuable advice?

Marika, middle sister of Roggeven, decides that Milena is the only person in her family worth anything, and also her only chance at a good life, and begs her sister to find her a husband. She takes her dowry and her loyal maid Kasia and two guards and leaves for Kaer Morhen.

Jaskier introduces Marika and Griffin without telling them their true identities, so Marika only learns he's a king once she's already interested in him. Milena reassures her that she's a proper match for a king - not just a duke's daughter, but basically a sister by marriage to the Warlord through Milena and Lambert.

Marika suggests Nix could be a lady in waiting for Ciri.

P30 - Oh, Be For Me The Sky

Cat witcher Dragonfly comes across Livi, young noble Redanian noblewoman Oliwia, while on patrol, and Livi begs sanctuary from the White Wolf. She's fleeing from an arranged marriage to an older noble known for killing his wives and other young girls.

Livi stays in Kaer Morhen as Eskel's secretary and falls in love with Dragonfly.

Because the king clearly isn't keeping his nobles under control, Geralt wants to declare war on Redania.

P35 - Into the Light Out of Darkness

They plan to go Redania and observe to find more obvious breeches of the treaty because Cintra etc would be mad about conquering for just some 'minor' infractions. The plan is to go on 'progress' touring the established territory + visiting Redania to talk to the king about what's going on there and hopefully find a good reason to get rid of him

Meanwhile, Milena's friend Aleksander 'Sasha' is made Duke after the old Duke Oliwia was supposed to marry dies. Aleksander learns from the King and a mage that they have taken a witcher prisoner in Aleksander's new home and are using his blood on girls turning them into almost-witchers but killing most of them in the process. The Mage makes it so he can't talk about it to anyone, and stays with him to watch his correspondence. He has a magic box for writing Milena though and secretly sends her a letter.

Now, the Witchers have a reason to go to war. King Eist of Cintra and young Prince(?) Xenon of (?)(can't keep the damn names straight) bear witness to make sure Calanthe etc won't think the Warlord is conquering for no reason. They go to free the Witcher and young Zia, an outspoken former peasant girl, and Maja, Ada and Elena, burn down the house, then go kill the king. Aleksander comes to Kaer Morhen, his brother is the new Duke.

P38 - That Is Born Out Of Agony

(skipped C1 bc rape warning) Renfri, after killing a man who meant to hurt her, and on the run from mage Stragomir, decides to go to the Witchers for justice, even if they will slay her because she is cursed. If anyone kills her, it should be the White Wolf.

She stumbles into a dwarf tunnel, and journeyman Gilmeth takes her to his family home. Renfri uses the name Shrike and doesn't say she's royal. Gilmeth's grandfather has business with the Wolf (Renfri's stepmother allows mistreatment of nonhumans) and takes her and Gilmeth through dwarven routes to the mountain. Once they get back above ground, Stregomir finds them, but so do two witchers, they put an anti magic chain on him and Renfri and they all swear not to do harm, she swears not to do them harm of her free will, and they're taken to Kaer Morhen.

Geralt slays Strgomir for his lies and allows Renfri to stay as long as she likes. Ciri introduces her to Zofia. The dwarves also stay and design a better gatehouse as Gilmeth's mastery. Renfri's stepmother is killed by Witcher Coën who Renfri befriends, Renfri's father didn't know but also doesn't seem to care about her much except trying to avoid looking at her because she looks like his late wife. Renfri stays in Kaer Morhen.

P44 - Flung to Catch a Star

Emrys of Nilfgard sends prince Morvran Voorhis to negotiate a treaty with the White Wolf.

When Letho and other witchers meet the Nilfgardians and have them swear not to harm anyone in Kaer Morhen, three groomers and Morvran's personal manservant lie. The manservant had orders from a Nilfgardian royal (Evertsen not Emrys) to kidnap Ciri, the groomsmen had orders to hurt the horses, two for their own gain, one, Ilimar Laret, because his Lord threatened Laret's wife. He's taken with them and the wife rescued, the rest is killed.

Morvran has orders to both get the treaty and win Ciri's hand in marriage, and didn't expect that she's not open for political marriage, or any marriage until she's 18. When Geralt asks him why he even wants to be emperor, and explains that he and Ciri will be leaders only to protect people, Morvran reconsiders and vows to be a man the Witchers can respect.

Morvran's knight bodyguard(?) Cahir spends time with the oldest Witcher trainees, a mixed school group incl. Eryk, who has a puppy love crush on Eskel. Cahir is in Emrys service as a political hostage, and comes to trust and believe in Movran properly during their time in Kaer Morhan when Movran invites him to speak freely, listens to him, takes him into his personal service, and offers him use of his first name in private. Sergeant Hanif is also part of some of their meetings.

Geralt says no treaty as long as Evertsen has any power, Emrys sends them Evertson as a prisoner and he's killed. Yennefer can make portals to and from Nilfgard much easier than should be possible, Jaskier suspects it's because she's getting so much practice.

While treaty proceedings are underway, Princess Rhiannon of Poviss comes to ask for Poviss to join the Warlord's lands because it's the sensible thing to do. Geralt accepts and it will be official when they'll visit Poviss during Progress. When Cahir hears of this, he's at first angry because Poviss gives up the kind of independence his own country (Vicovaro) wishes it had from Nilfgard, but he understands Wolfland isn't Nilfgard.

~

The treaty is finally made with three conditions: from the Wolf, a) that Movran tells Emrys Ciri won't come to Nilfgard except to conquer it as long as there are slaves, and b) (secret to anyone else), Movran swears to work towards a Nilfgard that no longer has slaves. And from Emrys, that Ciri and Geralt will come and meet him on neutral ground.

P45 Wrapped in the Wind and the Sun

Yennefer meets Fringilla to renew their friendship and ally against the Brotherhood.

& Here's a couple

Other

Versions

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The moodboard :D

Main image sources here, more sources: Yennefer Eskel Ciri2 Geralt2 potions ruins Witcher

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3478006

[astral-scout]

nobleflower hcs pls

omg yay i love u <33333

nobleflower are my GIRLS they are so dear to me. trust that they are always on my mind just floating around in there. yapping got out of hand and it is completely incoherent im so sorry

not really a headcanon but i love music and i associate everything with songs so. i just made a list of songs i associate with them!

ivy by taylor swift -- their theme song sorry not sorry

illicit affairs by taylor swift -- post breakup nobleflower where theyre absolutely a disaster!!!!! i eat that up

you're losing me by taylor swift

casual by chappell roan

good luck babe by chappell roan -- both povs sort of work i have to be honest. but i think alice would be more self aware about her sexuality and thus the chappell in this situation

we're in love by boygenius -- this one is kind of canon-compliant with alice being crucio-d by bellatrix & losing her memory.. because "if you dont remember i will try to remind you of [etc]"

christine by lucy dacus -- kind of au-y. as in i've written an au set to this song. and the "if you get married" verse drove me to tears

bullseye by lucy dacus theres a lot of lucy dacus here bc i love lucy dacus and she writes very nobleflower songs imo

lacy by olivia rodrigo kinda has that . enemies to lovers vibe that they embody in my mind

modigliani by lucy dacus "you make me homesick for places i've never been" is so alice core to me !!! she Is home. but the "and even if it [the subject's boyfriend] doesn't fit, you'll still wear it / cause if it's what you want, you're gonna get it" is . narcissa toward lucius to meee)

sister golden hair by america im not sure about this one . i lovelovelove this song and it came on while i was writing a nobleflower fic and i was like Yup this is them all right. idk. narcissa is blond i guess

daffodil by florence and the machine YES it is mostly because narcissa means daffodil . HOWEVER. i do have some justification for it in that "the helpless optimism of spring" and "sometimes i see so much beauty i dont think i can cope" are my alice)

troublemaker doppelganger by lucy dacus hear me out on this one ok . au where they have a messy break up and marry their canonical husbands etc etc and then being haunted by That Bitch their whole lives. this song is alice pov specifically "it couldn't have been you but she had your eyes / made for faking smiles and turning tides" are you hearing me. "was it that girl, that beautiful girl, thirsty for love and eager for attention / was it that girl who taught me about destruction?" ARE YOU HEARING ME "they made you a throne out of magazines, they made you a crown out of peonies" quintessential narcissa to mee.... also "is that a hearse or a limousine" simply SCREAMS the black family

night shift by lucy dacus i think most people know this one so. no explanation necessary

vampire empire by big thief yeah its them. did somebody say toxic yuri

anything by adrianne lenker (christmas eve w your mother and sis is druella and bellatrix btw . if they wouuld ever be in a situation where they meet alice LMAO) i dont wanna be the owner of your fantasy i just wanna be a part of your family... you held me the whole way through when i couldnt say the words like you / i was scared indigo but i wanted to <- narcissa pov song for once. i dont know why all these songs have been alice pov sorry

moon song by phoebe bridgers "and if i could give you the moon i would give you the moon... you are sick and youre married and you might be dying but youre holding me like water in your hands..." yeah

dreams by fleetwood mac post breakup again! "like a heartbeat drives you mad / in the stillness of remembering what you had / and what you lost .... say women they will come and they will go / when the rain washes you clean you'll know" yeah. alice. im on that haunting each other shit again

(you may have sensed by now that i have listened to approximately 5 artists in my entire life. yes i am slightly ashamed of it)

i looove academic rivals nobleflower. narcissa needs academic validation to function and alice is an Academic Weapon tm and they fuckng hate each other. but then they fall in love. you know that post that's like "i fear only one person has ever truly understood me and i fucking hate the guy" ? yeah thats nobleflower to me

however ! i think they could become friends in like . a homoerotic bound-to-end-badly kind of way. (they definitely had one of those sapphic homoerotic sleepovers and kissed and never talked about it again.) their friendship would be sort of like.. regina george and cady heron core kind of.. if cady didnt gaf about what regina tried to get her to do and couldnt stand the plastics

alice reads poetry for the sheer joy of it. the real love of her life is poetry and her favourite thing to do is curl up with a big mug of tea and read some poems. narcissa reads poetry because she is pretentious and wants to be liek, an Intellectual. that kind of vibe. (alice teaches her to love it for the right reasons eventually. they read sappho together like the lesbian losers they are)

since i am in university (unfortunately) i like putting them in my shoes because i hate them. i think narcissa woudl be an english, psychology, or anthropology major, and alice would be an engineering, music, health sciences, or biology major (i have a lot of Career Paths in mind for her). she could also do english for Rivalry reasons ( I AM AN ENGLISH MAJOR IF YOU COULDNT TELL)

alice would minor in something "political" (for lack of a better word) (gender studies, global studies etc) and she would be super political around campus, fighting for social justice. narcissa would not gaf (ultra privileged rich white girl that she is) and it would drive alice nuts (she is right). she would try to get narcissa to protest w her and narcissa wouuld be like ??? no ??? alice can fix her.

theres an au floating around my head where theyre rival lawyers who have to work together on a case.. and learn about each other along the way... and its set in new york and its raining... idk

i have also been thinking abt them in an orchestra........ narcissa on flute (because i played flute for 5 years and im determined to make it do SOMETHING for me) and alice on bass or violin.. minerva as the conductor... lots of drama

theyre so 90s core to me i dont konw why... i have like 3 separate 90s au nobleflower wips 😞 also vaguely-regency-era (I did not pay attention in history idk when that even was) britain.. yea

this ^ is like, The nobleflower picture if you look up their aesthetic on pinterest . its in everyones boards yaknow. but the pinterest people are right its them

thats all i got for now! thank u again for letting me yap about them <3 iam posting this right before i go to sleep so if theres some truly horrific typo or i missed something .. too bad! i am eepy.