#but i am really happy with how this came out

[wolvietxt]

𝓢ILENT 𝓣REATMENT.

pairings : frank castle x fem!reader warnings : argument, crying, hurt / comfort, happy ending, established relationship au, shouting, implied size diff (like my fav trope if you can’t already tell) silent treatment  summary : after an argument with frank, you both end up giving eachother silent treatment, until the tension gets too unbearable for you in the car. wc : 4.5k a/n : i got a req for this a few days ago but i think i deleted it or something i can’t find it now💔 but it was from an anon so thank you for this one because i loved writing this ALSO!! thank you to everyone who leaves feedback + little comments on my frank fics i notice it happens more when i write for frank and it’s the absolute sweetest

the air in the apartment felt heavy, charged, like a storm was brewing right there in the middle of the living room. frank was pacing now, his big hands flexing at his sides, his jaw tight enough that you swore you could hear his teeth grinding.  

you didn’t fight - not like this. not with him raising his voice and you trying so hard not to let yours crack. it wasn’t how things usually went. frank was tough, sure, rough around the edges in a way that didn’t really go away even when he was at his gentlest. but with you, he was softer. he made an effort to rein it in because he’d told you once, in a rare moment of vulnerability, that he didn’t want you to ever be scared of him. and you never had been.

but tonight, he was angry. angrier than you’d ever seen him at you, and the worst part was you weren’t sure how it had even escalated to this.  

“so what?” frank barked, spinning on his heel to face you, his broad frame taking up what felt like the entire room. “you think i’m just gonna sit back and let this slide?” his voice was sharp, cutting, and it made you flinch, even though you knew deep down that he’d never in a million years actually hurt you. “you think that’s who i am?”  

you held your ground, even though your heart was pounding against your ribs. “it’s not about letting it slide, frank,” you said softly, your tone calm, measured - a stark contrast to the heat in his voice. “it’s about not making it worse. escalating doesn’t fix anything.”  

“escalating?” he repeated, his voice rising, almost incredulous. “this isn’t escalating, this is handling it. you don’t just let people treat you like crap n’ walk away. you should know that’s not how it works.”  

“sometimes it is,” you said quietly, refusing to match his volume. “sometimes walking away is the only thing you can do. not everything has to be a fight.”  

“bullshit.” the word came out harsh, and the bite in it made your chest tighten. frank rarely swore at you, and when he did, it was never like this, never with this kind of edge.  

your hands trembled slightly, so you folded your arms across your chest, not in defiance but as a way to steady yourself. “frank, please. i don’t want to argue about this.”  

“yeah, well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before you went and tried to handle this on your own.” he threw his hands up, his frustration spilling over like a dam breaking. “you didn’t even tell me, and now i’m supposed to just sit back and be okay with it?”  

“i didn’t tell you because i knew this is how you’d react,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.  

his face twisted, a mixture of disbelief and something else - hurt, maybe. but it was gone as quickly as it came, replaced by a hard, almost cold expression. “damn right this is how i’d react,” he shot back. “because i give a shit. because i don’t want you getting hurt or screwed over or whatever the hell else might happen if i’m not there to step in.”  

“i know you care,” you said, your voice still soft but firm. “but you can’t control everything, frank. sometimes things happen, and you just have to let them go.”  

he let out a sharp, bitter laugh, running a hand through his hair. “letting it go gets you hurt. letting it go gets you walked all over. i’m not gonna let that happen to you.”  

his words were loud, forceful, like he was trying to hammer them into your head, but they only made your throat tighten more. “i can handle myself,” you said, your voice shaking slightly despite your best efforts.  

“can you?” he snapped, and the doubt in his tone stung worse than any of the yelling.  

you flinched, your eyes dropping to the floor. “that’s not fair,” you whispered.  

“yeah, well, life’s not fair,” he shot back, his tone still razor-sharp.  

silence fell between you, heavy and suffocating. you could feel the sting of tears threatening to spill, but you refused to cry - not in front of him, not when he was like this, which he never had been before. you’d seen flashes of it occasionally, never once directed at you. so instead, you turned on your heel and walked out of the room, your steps quick but steady, your back straight even though every part of you felt like curling up into yourself.  

you didn’t look back, but you could feel his eyes on you as you left.  

the door clicked softly as you shut yourself in the bathroom, leaning back against the cool wood as you tried to pull in a steadying breath. it felt like all the air had been sucked out of your lungs back in the living room, and now the weight of it all was crashing down on you.  

you stared at the tiled floor, your arms wrapped around yourself like that might somehow hold you together. your chest felt tight, your eyes stinging with unshed tears, but you bit down hard on your bottom lip, refusing to let them fall. not yet, anyway.  

you weren’t used to this - not with frank. he could be sharp, blunt, even infuriatingly stubborn sometimes, but he was never cruel. not to you. in the years since you’d met him, since the whirlwind of your relationship had gone from cautiously circling each other to something real and steady, frank had always been your safe place. he was intense, sure, but his intensity had always felt protective, grounding, like you could lean on him no matter how bad things got.  

so why did it feel like he was the one knocking the ground out from under you now?  

you pressed the heels of your hands against your eyes, trying to will the tears away. it wasn’t fair to pin all the blame on him, you knew that. this argument wasn’t entirely about frank’s temper, or his need to protect you - it was about your own unwillingness to let him.  

the issue had started small, just a casual remark you’d made earlier in the week about someone you worked with - someone who’d been taking advantage of your kindness. you hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but frank had picked up on it immediately, and the more you’d tried to brush it off, the more his protective instincts had kicked in.  

at first, it had been sweet, his quiet grumbles about how people didn’t deserve to treat you that way, how you needed to stand up for yourself more. but somewhere along the line, it had turned into this - a full-blown argument where neither of you seemed to be able to see the other’s side.  

you weren’t blind to why he was upset. frank had been through more than most people could even imagine, and the idea of someone hurting you - or even disrespecting you - lit a fire in him that he couldn’t always control. but the way he handled that fire was what made your chest ache. it felt suffocating, like his need to protect you was overshadowing the fact that you didn’t want - or need - him to fight your battles for you.  

you let out a shaky breath, the first tear slipping free as the weight of it all settled heavier on your shoulders.  

frank had always been larger than life to you - not just physically, though his sheer size and strength made you feel small in comparison, but in the way he carried himself, the way he seemed to command every room he walked into. it was part of what had drawn you to him in the first place, the quiet confidence that bordered on intimidating until you saw the softness he tried so hard to hide.  

he’d always been gentle with you, even when his hands were so calloused and rough, even when his voice was so gravelly and low. it made the harshness of his words tonight cut deeper, the sharp edges of his anger something you weren’t used to being on the receiving end of.  

you wiped at your face quickly, straightening up as you tried to pull yourself together. you hated crying - especially over arguments like this. it made you feel weak, even though you knew it wasn’t, and the last thing you wanted was for frank to think he’d broken you. he’d never stop beating himself up over it.

still, you couldn’t bring yourself to go back out there yet. not with the way his words were still echoing in your mind, the frustration in his voice still ringing in your ears.  

you stayed there for a while, letting the quiet of the bathroom wrap around you like a blanket, giving yourself the space to breathe and feel without the weight of frank’s presence bearing down on you.  

meanwhile, in the living room, frank was pacing again. his hands were on his hips, his brows drawn together in that way they always did when he was deep in thought - or pissed off.  

he knew you were upset. hell, he wasn’t an idiot, and he’d seen the way your eyes were brimming with tears before you’d turned and walked away. it wasn’t the first time he’d pushed too hard, but it was the first time it had been directed at you, and it was eating at him in a way he didn’t want to admit.  

but the anger was still there, simmering just beneath the surface, and he couldn’t seem to let it go. it wasn’t directed at you - not at all. it was at the situation, at the asshole who’d made you feel like you had to handle everything on your own. but frank wasn’t exactly good at untangling those things, at separating his frustration from the people he cared about most.  

he scrubbed a hand over his face, letting out a low growl of frustration as he dropped onto the couch. his mind was running in circles, replaying the argument over and over again, each word sharper than the last.  

the silence in the apartment felt deafening, and for a moment, he considered going to find you, to try and talk this out. but he stopped himself, his jaw clenching as he forced himself to stay put. you needed space - he knew that much, even if it went against every instinct he had.  

he sat there for a long time, the tension in his body refusing to ease as he stared at the spot where you’d been standing just minutes before.  

the car keys sat on the counter, untouched, while the clock crept closer to the time you were supposed to leave. it had been a whole thing - this charity function a few towns over. someone important to frank had invited him, and even though it wasn’t the kind of event he’d normally go for, he’d said yes because it mattered to them.  

you had said yes because it mattered to him.  

but now, with the argument still heavy in the air, the thought of sitting next to him for almost four hours felt like trying to breathe underwater. the quiet that lingered between you wasn’t the natural kind you often enjoyed. it was thick and suffocating, and neither of you seemed ready to cut through it.  

you stood in the bedroom doorway, watching frank tie his boots like the act itself had wronged him. his movements were sharp, jerky, and his mouth was set in a grim line. you weren’t sure if it was guilt or frustration written in his expression, but either way, it left your stomach in knots.  

he grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair, yanking it on with a force that looked like it made the seams strain. his head turned slightly toward you as if he was about to say something, but then he thought better of it, his eyes dropping to the floor instead.  

you didn’t move, didn’t speak, just hovered in the doorway as he brushed past you toward the front door. the weight of it all - the argument, the way he hadn’t looked at you since - pressed down on your chest like a boulder, and your throat burned with more unshed tears.  

when he held the door open for you, you walked through it wordlessly, your gaze fixed on the floor.  

outside, the crisp night air felt sharper than it should have, like even the weather was conspiring to remind you how raw everything was. frank locked the door behind you without a word, and the sound of the lock clicking into place made you flinch.  

he didn’t notice.  

the car ride loomed ahead of you like a punishment, the thought of sitting in that confined space together for hours making your palms sweat. but there was no way out of it, not without causing more problems.  

frank climbed into the driver’s seat, his hands gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles went white. he started the engine without looking at you, the low growl of it filling the space where words should’ve been.  

you slid into the passenger seat, keeping your hands in your lap and your gaze fixed on the window. the city lights blurred into streaks as the car picked up speed, but you weren’t paying attention to where you were going. your mind was stuck on everything that had been said - and everything that hadn’t.  

he’d been angry. louder than usual, harsher, the words tumbling out of him like he didn’t know how to stop them. but you knew frank. you knew the fire in him wasn’t because he didn’t care - it was because he cared too much, and it scared him sometimes.  

still, knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less.  

the silence in the car was unbearable, the kind that made you want to fill it just so you didn’t have to sit with the weight of it anymore. but frank wasn’t giving you an inch, his eyes glued to the road and his shoulders hunched up like he was trying to shield himself from the world.  

you stole a glance at him, your chest aching at the sight of his furrowed brow and clenched jaw. he looked tired - angry, yes, but tired too, like the argument had drained him in ways he didn’t want to admit.  

your own emotions were bubbling up, threatening to spill over no matter how hard you tried to keep them in check. your hands trembled slightly in your lap, and you clenched them into fists to try to stop it, but it didn’t help.  

you didn’t even realize you were crying until a tear slipped down your cheek, cool against your flushed skin. you brushed it away quickly, hoping frank wouldn’t notice, but you doubted he’d even glanced your way.  

the road stretched on, dark and empty except for the occasional glow of headlights from oncoming cars. the longer the silence dragged, the heavier it felt, like it was wrapping around your throat and making it hard to breathe.  

eventually, the ache in your chest grew too much to bear. you didn’t know what you wanted - comfort, maybe, or some kind of reassurance that everything would be okay - but the urge to reach out was overwhelming.  

your hand hovered hesitantly over the center console, your fingers trembling as you debated whether or not to do it. it felt like crossing some invisible line, like putting yourself out there in a way that left you completely vulnerable.  

but then you glanced at frank, at the way his brow furrowed and his jaw tightened, and something in you broke.  

with tears brimming in your eyes and a small, helpless pout tugging at your lips, you let your fingers reach up to grasp at his. the touch was so light it was barely there, but it was enough to draw his attention.  

he glanced down at your hand, his gaze softening instantly as he took in the way your fingers trembled and the sheen of tears in your eyes, the wet tracks of tears that’d already fallen etched on your face.

“ah, sweetheart,” he muttered, his voice rough but laced with a tenderness that made your heart ache.  

his hand moved to cover yours completely, his fingers curling around your smaller ones in a gesture that felt both protective and grounding. his thumb brushed over the back of your hand in slow, deliberate strokes, and the tension in your chest eased just a little.  

you sniffled, blinking quickly to clear your vision as you looked up at him. his expression had shifted, the hard lines of his face softening as he met your gaze.  

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the hum of the engine.  

frank let out a heavy sigh, his grip on your hand tightening slightly as he pulled the car off to the side of the road. the tires crunched against the gravel as he put it in park, and before you could ask what he was doing, he was out of the car.  

your breath caught as he rounded the front of the vehicle, his movements deliberate but not rushed. he opened your door, the cool night air rushing in as he crouched slightly to meet your eyes.  

“c’mere,” he said softly, his tone a stark contrast to the anger that had been there earlier.  

you hesitated for only a moment before unbuckling your seatbelt and letting him pull you into his arms. his embrace was warm and solid, his arms wrapping around you in a way that made you feel small and safe all at once.  

“’m sorry, baby,” he murmured against your hair, his voice rough with emotion. “shouldn’t’ve yelled. shouldn’t’ve made you feel like that.”  

you buried your face in his chest, your own arms slipping around his middle as you let out a shaky breath. “i’m sorry too,” you whispered.  

“you don’t gotta be sorry, you did nothing wrong. my sweet girl’s just nice to everyone, isn’t she?” he cooed, his hand came up to cradle the back of your head, his thumb brushing gently against your temple as he peppered hard kisses over your face. “we’re okay?”  

you nodded against him, a small, shaky smile tugging at your lips. “we’re okay.”  

he pressed another kiss to your forehead, lingering for a moment longer than before. but instead of pulling back completely, frank’s lips trailed down, brushing lightly against your temple, then your cheek.  

your breath hitched, your hand tightening around his shirt as he hesitated, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours. when your eyes flicked up to meet his, there was something unspoken between you - an ache, a pull that neither of you could ignore.  

“frank…” your voice was barely a whisper, and it only made him lean in closer.  

his hand moved to cradle the side of your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek as his lips finally found yours. the kiss was slow at first, soft and careful, but there was a heat behind it, a depth that made your stomach twist in the best way.  

he kissed you like he needed you, like he couldn’t get close enough no matter how tightly he held you. his other hand slid to your waist, pulling you against him just enough to make you feel the strength behind every touch, every movement.  

when he pulled back, it was with a low, rumbling breath, his forehead resting against yours as he tried to steady himself. “you’re somethin’ else, you know that?” he murmured, his voice rough and tinged with something deeper.  

your cheeks flushed, your heart racing as you tried to find the words, but all you could do was nod, your fingers still gripping the front of his shirt.  

he pressed one last, lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth before stepping back. “c’mon,” he said, his tone softer now, his thumb brushing your cheek one last time before helping you back into the car.  

as he slid into the driver’s seat, his hand found yours again, holding on tightly. this time, neither of you let go.  

the rest of the drive was quiet, but not in the same way as before. frank kept one hand on the wheel, the other holding yours firmly in his grasp. his thumb moved in slow, lazy circles over your knuckles, a silent apology with every stroke.  

you felt the tension melting bit by bit, your chest no longer tight with the weight of everything left unsaid. instead, there was this warmth - a softness between you that hadn’t been there earlier. it was unspoken, but it was enough to ease the ache in your heart.  

“we’ll stop soon, yeah?” frank broke the silence, his voice low and softer than usual. “get you somethin’ to eat.”  

your lips curved into a small smile, your first real one since the argument. “i’m okay,” you murmured. “we don’t have to stop.”  

“nah.” he glanced over at you, his eyes lingering for a second longer than they should’ve. “you didn’t eat much earlier. ain’t lettin’ you sit through this thing hungry.”  

the tenderness in his voice made your cheeks heat, and you squeezed his hand lightly in response.  

it wasn’t long before frank pulled off at a small diner on the side of the road. the neon sign flickered against the night sky, casting a warm glow over the parking lot.  

“c’mon,” he said, cutting the engine and stepping out.  

before you could even reach for the door handle, frank was already there, pulling it open for you. his hand was outstretched, waiting for yours, and when you slipped your fingers into his, he gave them a gentle squeeze.  

inside, the diner was quiet, the hum of conversation and the clatter of dishes filling the space. frank led you to a booth in the corner, his hand never leaving yours until you slid into your seat.  

“what’re you in the mood for?” he asked, his eyes scanning the menu even though you both knew he’d end up ordering the same thing he always did.  

you shrugged, your fingers playing with the edge of the napkin in front of you. “maybe just some fries.”  

frank frowned, lowering the menu to look at you. “you need more than that.”  

“frank, i’m fine - ”  

“i’ll get you somethin’ else too,” he cut in, his tone leaving no room for argument.  

you bit back a smile, knowing better than to push him when he got like this. instead, you let him order for both of you, his gruff voice somehow softer when he spoke to the waitress.  

when the food arrived, frank nudged the plate closer to you, his eyes narrowing slightly when you hesitated. “eat, sweetheart,” he said gently.  

you rolled your eyes but grabbed a fry anyway, earning a satisfied grunt from him.  

as you ate, the tension from earlier felt like a distant memory. frank had a way of grounding you, of making you feel like no matter how bad things got, everything would eventually be okay.  

after the meal, frank walked you back to the car, his hand settling on the small of your back as he guided you outside. the night air was crisp, but his touch was warm, steady, and it made you lean into him just a little.  

“y’alright?” he asked once you were back in the passenger seat.  

you nodded, looking up at him with a soft smile. “yeah. i’m okay.”  

his eyes lingered on yours for a moment, and then, without a word, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. it was quick but tender, and when he pulled back, his hand cupped your cheek for a second longer.  

the drive to the function was quieter this time, but it wasn’t the heavy silence from before. it was comfortable, the kind of quiet where words weren’t necessary because you both knew everything was okay now.  

as you pulled up to the venue, frank cut the engine and turned to you. his expression was softer, his usual rough edges smoothed out in a way that made your heart ache.  

“you look beautiful,” he said, his voice gruff but sincere.  

your cheeks flushed at the compliment, and you glanced down at your dress, suddenly feeling shy. “thank you,” you murmured.  

he leaned over, his large hand settling on your knee as he pressed a quick kiss to your temple. “‘m gonna keep tellin’ you that all night,” he added, his lips quirking into the faintest of smirks.  

the warmth in your chest grew, and you couldn’t help but smile back at him. “you don’t look so bad yourself,” you teased, your tone light.  

he chuckled, the sound low and rumbling, and you swore it was the best thing you’d heard all day.  

“c’mon, sweetheart,” he said, opening his door. “let’s get this over with.”  

as you stepped out of the car, frank was already by your side, his hand finding yours once more. he held it tightly, his grip firm and reassuring, and when he glanced down at you, there was something in his eyes that made your breath catch.  

it was love - raw and unfiltered, the kind that didn’t need words to be understood.  

and in that moment, you knew that no matter what, you and frank would always find your way back to each other.  

ᰔ frank castle : @stvr-dust, @uncertified-doc

taglist form linked in pinned post :3

[haziells]

my way

until it reaches the void state

(this will be a long post)

1. the end, the beginning.

I knew about the law of attraction years ago thanks to social media, so there it was, like every day trying to manifest my desires.

I was fed up, every day was the same.

My heart healing and breaking everyday, the same cycle of hope and hopelessness continues.

was it always going to be like this?

would I always have to let fears take over me?

I couldn't trust, I didn't believe that just by believing I could get what I wanted but at the same time I had no other option.

I couldn't go on like this, I didn't want to go on like this, I just wanted to end my life, I gave up and cried, cried, cried thinking that this would be the end, that I wouldn't be able to be happy and that was it.

I gave up and thought I was resigned to living a shitty life.

But I cried so much that all the sadness that was in me came out, all the fears that were clinging to me came out.

That's when I felt peace, when I realized that no, I wasn't going to give up that easily, that I first have to do it and do it well, not keep trying.

So I persisted for only 2 days, as I already had my desire for that moment and yes, after 2 days my 3D had already reflected it, it was exciting.

did i reallt do that? was it just a coincidence?

No, it was really me.

I was happy for a few days until the fears returned but this time I was afraid of losing my desire, that's when I realized that fears have no meaning.

I already have it, why would I lose it?

2. I discovered Tumblr and the void state.

I didn't know what void state was, but as soon as I read about it, it caught my attention.

By then my self-concept had improved, I was still dealing with my fears but not as much as before.

So, I made a friend who explained to me more about the void state and she told me that she manifested her house through the void state.

I got excited and hopeful, I read some methods on how to get in and tried to do it, but I couldn't.

I couldn't do it, the simple idea of getting everything so easily sounded easy and fantastical to me.

But one day I realized who I really am, that I am everything, that nothing and no one has power outside of me.

I was filled with satisfaction, joy, peace, I felt like laughing knowing who I am and how easy everything is.

How did I first enter the void state?

so I had a subliminal audio playing in the background while I was meditating.

I thought...I am so powerful, I am capable of anything, I can have whatever I want whenever I want.

At that time I was very sleepy because I had taken some exams, so I just thought "my physical body is going to sleep and rest and I'm going to the void state"

After all, the void state is me and there is nothing easier than being me.

And so it happened, I entered the void state and knew that I already had everything just as I wanted, then I came out and continued sleeping while I didn't stop smiling and feeling a sensation of peace and extreme happiness.

I woke up and stood calmly until I realized what had happened...

I was scared shitless when I realized that I had entered the void state for real and that at that moment I should have everything I wanted and that was when 3d reality disappeared before my eyes.

Everything began to collapse and I felt a huge current of energy running through my entire body, as if it were a waterfall flowing inside me.

I was very scared, I won't deny it, but after all I did it.

(I swear that just as you see in the gif, that's how I felt at that moment)

The following days I couldn't stop shaking and feeling scared because I didn't understand how it was possible that 3D could disappear just like that.

Then I read someone here talking about non-dualism. @lotusmi

Then I understood my experience.

Since that day everything is much easier for me.

I have entered the void state 3 times.

that manifests?

.cure my depression.

.cure my anxiety.

.trust myself.

.longer eyelashes.

.my desired person in love with me.

.money.

.be able to manifest easily.

.prettiest voice.

.I am spoiled.

The rest of the things I manifest are more private.

But basically for me this is the best thing that could have happened to me.

I will mention who were the bloggers that I read to understand more about the void state and about who I really am.

@gorgeouslypink

@lotusmi

@beesfairlyland

@msperfect777

I will also mention a blogger whose information I also like and I find it cute.

@sugarplumfairy777

If you want to know more, you can send me a direct message, no problem.

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[4:47 am]

(cw: wife!reader)

CEO!Johnny had been mad since the second he heard about this early meeting. That was a week ago. Well, not mad, more like pouty. For a few months now he’d gotten used to going into the office a little later so that he could have his mornings with you. Nothing too crazy, just a half hour later, but after all the hard work he’d put in for the company, he felt he deserved the half hour with his wife. The mornings were blissful, waking up and cuddling with you. Following that up with coffee and breakfast together and bidding each other goodbye with a kiss before heading in your respective directions.

But today, today felt like hell. He was up before the sun was coming up, waking up while bakers were still baking for the morning rush, while children were still fast asleep and in dreamland before going to school. Getting ready before you were even thinking about waking up. Hell, you were deep in rem sleep right now.

A part of him wanted to be selfish and wake you up. At the very least, to have your company. He wouldn’t force you out of the warmth of your shared bed. He just missed you��� and today would be a long day. Going in early to talk to overseas investors and spending the rest of the day finalizing reports for the end of the quarter. He was already tired of it all.

Johnny dragged his feet while he sipped his coffee and willed the caffeine to kick in. He was bone tired. He had even stolen some of your under eye patches to help with the puffiness under his eyes. He sighed tiredly, tying his tie and fixed his hair one last time.

He turned off the light in the bathroom and padded across the bedroom to your sleeping form. He pressed a kiss to your forehead whispering a quiet, “have a good day, baby.”

He wishes he could say he felt accomplished since he had been awake so early and working almost as long. He talked to the investors, he got a lot of paperwork done, and he drank a lot of coffee. And still he didn’t feel good knowing his soft mornings with his wife had been torn away.

So it came it as no surprise when your FaceTime call came in at your usual wake up and get ready hour. He smiled brightly as his thumb slid across the screen to answer your call. He was met with your pouty face surrounded with the white sheets of your shared bed, “you didn’t wake me up.”

Johnny laughs, “baby, it was like 5 in the morning! Good morning though, how are you?”

“I dunno,” you grumble, “my husband doesn’t love me so…”

Johnny chuckles softly, slumping back in his very expensive desk chair, “I do love you. I love you so much that I didn’t interrupt your sleep. I did consider it though.”

“If you really loved me you’d have woken me up,” you argue playfully.

“I think you’ll love me when you see what I left you in the kitchen,” Johnny tells you, lifting his brows with a smirk.

He watches you move through the halls, hair messy and free. He watches your eyes light up when you saw the surprise he’d left for you. “Breakfast and coffee. Wow, I guess you do love me,” you tease, “thank you though, baby. I appreciate it.”

“I think you’ll also be happy to know that I’ll be home early today. I haven’t told anyone yet, but I will be. I deserve it after waking up at 4 in the morning."

"I don't think your secretary would approve of that," you chide, arching your brow a him through the camera.

"Well, she wasn't here at 5 in the morning was she? Plus, she'll like it when she gets to go home early too," Johnny yawns, "I'll pick up dinner on the way home, baby. Have a good day. You off to work?"

You shake your head with a smile, "nope, took the day off. I'll see you later. I love you."

"I love you too," Johnny responds before hanging up. Damn, he should have taken the day off too, especially since his CFO was more than capable of doing this on their own. He drags a tired hand down his face, he was definitely going to put in for a long vacation and it you off to some resort where you both could spend the whole day in bed if you wanted to.

[writingwithciara]

across the hall; part 2 -quinn hughes-

summary: y/n moves in across the hall from quinn and in an emergency, she leaves her five-year old daughter in his care

word count: 1.3k

pairing: quinn hughes x reader, toxic ex-boyfriend x reader

notes: just a follow-up to the first part in the series :)

it had been 3 weeks and quinn had truly kept to his word. he allowed y/n to drop abby off at his place whenever she needed to run to work, or whenever she just wanted to have a few hours alone. he helped her whenever he was able to.

and she was thankful for his presence in their lives. without him, she would've gone insane.

wile she wasn't at work, quinn stopped by to bring y/n and abby some things he thought they'd like. most of the time it was dinner and other times, it was a book for y/n or a toy for abby.

abby loved to see him, not only for the toys, but for his company. he was her favorite person. and that didn't upset y/n at all.

okay. maybe it did just a little bit. but she loved seeing her daughter happy.

one night, while quinn and abby were waiting for y/n to get home from work, abby looked up at quinn with a smile.

"my mommy says you're a hockey player."

"yeah. i am."

"i've never watched hockey before. what's it like?"

quinn let out a chuckle and tried his best to explain the game to her. by the end of his description, abby was hooked.

"i wanna go to a game now."

"maybe your mom can get a night off and i can get you guys tickets for one of my upcoming home games."

"could you do that?"

"i'd have to talk it over with your mother first. but i can try."

"yay." she smiled. "love you quinn."

"love you too, sweetheart." quinn smiled and turned his attention back to the movie they were watching.

less than an hour later, y/n walked through her door and set her bag on the table. she went and joined quinn on the couch. he made room for her and smiled.

"how was work?"

"exhausting, as usual." she took a deep breath and looked at him. "how was babysitting?"

"can you really call it babysitting if you don't pay me?" he chuckled.

"i'm going to pay you eventually. i just never have the time to get the money out for you."

"it's okay. honestly. i don't mind spending time with abby. she's the sweetest kid in the world." he glanced down at the little girl sitting to his right. "oh, i hope you don't mind, but i think i got her hooked on hockey."

"how did you do that?"

"she told me she'd never watched hockey before and then she asked me to describe the game to her. then she said she wanted to go to a game and i told her i'd get you guys tickets if you were okay with it."

"i have this weekend off. when's your next home game?"

"saturday evening." he smiled, really loving how perfectly their schedules lined up.

"perfect. i'd love to go to a game."

"great. guess i'll see you there." quinn stood up and y/n walked him to the door.

"good night, quinn." y/n smiled and shut the door.

by the time saturday evening rolled around, y/n and abby were excited to watch quinn play. he brought over 2 vancouver jerseys for the girls before he left that morning and y/n thanked him.

as they made their way to the amazing seats quinn had gotten for them, y/n couldn't help but be awestruck at the sight. the players were skating around for warm-ups and when quinn skated past their seats, abby jumped up and down. y/n picked her up and brought her over to the glass just as quinn came back around. he tossed his puck over the glass and offered them both a smile before skating away.

"who was that?"brock asked as quinn came over to him.

"my neighbor and her kid."

"that's y/n?" he looked over at the girl behind the glass. "hmm. i always pictured her with red hair for some reason." he shrugged and kept skating. "still gorgeous though."

"relax, dude. you have a girlfriend."

"true. but you don't. why don't you make a move?"

"it's not like that. i'm just her occasional babysitter when she's busy, which is a lot." quinn sighed. he agreed with brock in the fact that she was gorgeous but he had his eye on someone else. he didn't want his friend to know that though. "besides, she just got to town after moving across the country to get away from her past."

"how much do you really know about her?"

"i know enough. can we focus on warm-ups?"

"sure thing, dude." brock skated away and started practicing his shots.

back on the bench, y/n and abby were watching quinn skate around. y/n's eyes didn't stay glued to him though. her eyes began following the blond quinn was just talking to. the one with boeser on the back of his jersey. there was something that drew her to him, but in a way, she felt like she was betraying quinn. then she looked over and saw a girl with a boeser jersey standing a few feet away. she waved to quinn's friend and he stopped to have a quick chat with her.

quinn stopped by y/n and abby again. "i really hope you guys enjoy the game tonight. i'm gonna play extra hard for the two loveliest ladies in the arena."

"as long as we're cheering for you, we'll be having fun."

"glad to hear that." he smiled and skated to his spot on the ice to begin the game.

as the game began, y/n watched as quinn got the puck and took the first shot on the Kings goal. he missed but abby started clapping anyway. she didn't quite understand the game but she was enjoying it anyway.

halfway through the second period, the canucks got on the board with the first goal of the night. the goal was made by boeser and the girl he was talking to cheered with delight. she then turned to y/n and smiled.

"hi. i saw you talking to quinn earlier. are you his girlfriend?"

"no. i'm just his neighbor." she smiled.

"oh, so you're the one he's always talking about?" the girl raised an eyebrow before smiling and extending her hand. "i'm bella, brock's girlfriend. it's nice to finally meet you."

"i'm y/n." she shook bella's hand and smiled. "i'd love to say that i knew who you were but quinn hasn't mentioned a lot of his friends. sorry."

"that's okay. he's like that sometimes." she smiled and looked at abby. "oh my goodness. you must be abby."

"that's me." the girl in y/n's arms smiled at bella.

"quinn has shown us so much pictures of you and i must say, you're much more adorable in person."

"thank you." abby giggled. "quinn says i get it from my mommy."

"oh, does he now?" bella raised an eyebrow. "that's cute."

"you never told me he said that, abby."

"he says it every night he watches me."

"oh." it was y/n's turn to raise an eyebrow. she felt her cheeks heat up quickly so she refocused on the game. and just in time to see quinn score a goal.

"i'm really glad you and quinn met. it was beginning to feel like he would never meet someone who could crack his moody personality."

"he's not that moody. or at least he hasn't been since i've met him."

"that's what i mean. he used to be so moody but since you came to town, he's changed. he talks more, smiles more. and he even plays better." bella grinned and watched the puck exchange between quinn and brock. "whatever you're doing, keep doing it."

"okay." y/n liked talking to bella. it was nice to finally have a conversation with someone who wasn't a child or a coworker. it was like she was an actual friend.

later that night, y/n was walking back to her apartment when she stopped in the middle of the hall. she couldn't believe her eyes.

"what the hell are you doing here?"

[k0nanharv3y]

I WANT HIM TO BE MAD, I WANT HIM TO COLAPSE AND CRY HIS LUNGS OUT I WANT HIM TO SCREAM... I'm allergic to happiness :[ so then I should proceed

///

Tim knew how to be mean, rude and how to hurt people with his words, I mean, he was raised by Fucking Janet Drake. He knew what he was doing

And he was so done with Damian, and life, apparently

Damian who's being an asshole about his birth rights and how Drake would never be worth enough to have the Robin mantle: The only reason you're part of this family is because father couldn't let go you with what you know!

Tim, who already knows this fact and is running on half an hour of sleep and a liter of coffee only: Oh, really?! The only reason he took you in was because he had to, not because he loved you. We were a choice, you were just an obligation caused by a mistake

And then there was silence

Damian's face was red and there was a glimmer of tears in his eyes. Tim's chest rose and fell as if he had run a marathon

And a heavy folder fell to the floor of the cave, breaking the silence and about to break everything around it

Bruce, who's been listening to the discussion in silence, because he had no right to step into it because he's scared of feelings: Tim! You cannot say that! Apologize!

Tim, who is about to cry because he's so tired: Apologize?! What the hell Bruce!? He started this shit!

Damian stepped away from Tim, frowning, hurt and ready to start fighting if Tim decided to take more physical action against him

Bruce: He is a child!

Tim, feeling something inside him slowly burn: A child?!, That demon tried to kill me and that "child" is 15 years old, he can't not understand the consequences of his actions and his words, you can't-! You can't always defend him Bruce! He has to understand that-

Bruce, who has gotten too close to Tim, standing in front of him, using all his height to appear bigger than him: Of course I can!, He is my son

Tim: I am your son too!

And the silence came again, tears in Tim's eyes. A silent gasp from Bruce and the bats screeching from the screams they were both throwing at each other

Tim: This is unfair...

He muttered, taking steps away from Bruce, lowering his head, red with shame and tears

Tim: It's unfair that he... that you...! I'm your son too, why don't you love me like you love him?

Bruce: Tim, that's not-

Tim: Yes it is!, I understand-! I understood in the past that you weren't at your best, I understood that you didn't love me! I understood that, Bruce!, during my years as Robin I understood that! And I understand that you've changed, I understand that the Bruce that Damian has now is not the Bruce that I had, but it is...! It's unfair that you still don't defend me like you defend him! Not even as your son, but as your partner! It's unfair and-! Why can't you just-?! Why don't you love me, Bruce?!

The tears now had no qualms about falling like waterfalls, and the sobs made his voice sound younger than Tim was, younger than Bruce had ever heard

Bruce: I love you T-

Tim: It's not the same if I have to yell at you, Bruce! Damian gets pets, presents, TIME! And all I got for my birthday was trust issues and trauma, when I pulled you out of the timestream you didn't even-! You didn't even say anything to me! If you didn't love me, then you would have let me keep up with the uncle lie! At least then I'd know what I was getting from you and what you wanted from me!

Their ears registered the sounds of footsteps, the worried voices. But none of them gave a fuck

Tim: What you want from me now, Bruce?! Tell me! What you want from me?!

Bruce: I-

The words caught in the adult's throat, because, the kid in front of him (because Tim was a kid, because he could never grow up to be anything outside of what Bruce needed) looked so tired and nothing Bruce said was going to make up for years of feeling unloved and unwanted, just needed. And Bruce couldn't think of a time when he had ever made that thought questionable (Bruce had literally conditioned the kid to put others before himself)

Bruce: I'm sorry

And if Tim started to sob ugly and wet, that would be his problem. He was so tired to worry about it

///

Part 2 Jumpscare!!

///

[thetarsier]

THE QUESTION

a/n: okay so i'm kinda sorta out of my reblog-only purgatory and i finally have some motivation to post on here again!! requests are now being accepted again and i'll try to get the motivation to write them!! i've missed u lot :)

Word Count: ~700

Warnings/notes: not proofread, hotch being happy?

<3: aaron hotchner x reader

“Are you breaking up with me?” 

You had to admit, you hadn’t wanted the question to arise so quickly and upfront, but there it was, floating in front of the two of you. 

It was a rather romantic location to be broken up with; a picnic in the park on a nice spring afternoon. But Aaron was nice and he wouldn’t break up with you over the phone, or at home where you would have to leave and then come back for your things awkwardly. Or worse: be overheard by Jack.

It took Aaron a few seconds to comprehend what you said, “W-What?”

Ah. He hadn't expected to be caught out so early. Well, you were nothing if not merciful - Aaron did not have to let you down slowly if you did it for him. You'd felt as though he'd been leading up to it for a while now.

He had gone out a few times and been cagey about where he was going, he was being secretive, jumping when you entered rooms and seemingly being very interested in how you were interacting with the other people in his life.

It's so nice how you are with Jack.

It was your fault, really. You inserted yourself into his life, jumped head-first and hoped that that was what Aaron had wanted, needed. It wasn't. You weren't.

You braced yourself.

“Usually, when the guy starts to act strange, the girl suspects cheating, but I know you wouldn’t cheat - or at least I hope I know that you wouldn’t cheat - so the only thing left is that you’re breaking up with me.”

“I’m not breaking up with you, honey.”

“You’re not breaking up with me?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

Suddenly the idea of you stewing over your fictional breakup for even a few minutes was mortifyingly embarrassing. You wished you hadn't said anything at all, kept Aaron in the dark about your insecurity.

You looked up at the trees above you, trying to catch your breath.

“Though I should have guessed that you would have noticed something was going on, you’re a better profiler than I am,” He mumbled as he fished for something in his pocket. 

“Yeah, that’s why you’re the unit chief.” You rolled your eyes, giddy in your moment of relief that the best thing that had ever happened to you wasn’t changing. You didn’t even notice that he’d stopped looking for something until he went silent and you were forced to check on him. 

That’s when you saw the box. 

It wasn’t open yet, and you refused to overreact again before you were sure it wasn’t a promise ring, a necklace, or something else. But when Aaron opened the box to reveal the most engagement ring-looking engagement ring - a three-stone silver ring that was certainly too expensive to be a promise ring - you allowed yourself a small gasp. 

“Aaron-”

“I love you,” You didn’t mind the interruption when it came like that, “Jack loves you, you’re our family. I know that I’ve been acting strange recently, and that’s because I’ve been trying to keep this a secret when I’m so-” He paused to take in a breath, a grin spreading across his lips. “-So excited to put this ring on your finger. I almost just asked you to marry me last night.”

The confirmation that he was, in fact, asking you to marry him made tears form in your eyes, your heart overflowing with love but deeper. You couldn’t believe you’d thought he was breaking up with you. 

Aaron didn’t bother getting onto one knee - he’d done that before, and this time was different. He took a breath in, released it heavily, and then, with sparkling eyes:

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes. Yes!” You could barely get out the word before Aaron had closed the box and practically launched himself forward, catching your face in his hands and kissing you passionately.

Later, you would laugh with your friends about the question you'd asked, the question that had been plaguing your mind for days, and how it contrasted so wildly with the question that Aaron had asked, the question he'd been thinking about for months.

[zzbubblegumbitchzz]

Yours, Forever // Quinn Hughes

Pairings: Prince!Quinn x ofc!Brìghde ("Bree-juh")

Warnings: arranged marriage, mentions of violence and war, eventual smut, will update as each chapter is posted.

Summary: When the war between The Kingdoms of Sunstone and Shadowfell came to an end, a promise of marriage was made. When both kingdoms produced only heirs, the first princess from Sunstone was a celebration of becoming debt free. What happens when the princess learns of her duty? Will she accept happily? Or will the treaty be destroyed?

Authors Note: i am so excited to share this world i’ve been building with you! please know, there will be moments where Scottish Gaelic is spoken. each chapter that does will have translation at the end of each chapter!

On the 406th day, the sun rose the same it always had. Soldiers of Sunstone wondering if they would ever return home to their families. As the sun began to set, away in the distance a small white flag was raised. General Cormac and his immediate men worked their way to the other side of the valley. Guns held close to their sides, prepared for the worse.

Coming face to face with General Shadow, both men nodded. Signaling their men to wait outside.

“Evening, we are willing to end this. We have a few conditions.” Spoke General Shadow.

“We would like to merge our lands, each castle the same. Your family will still control Sunstone, mine will still rule over Shadowfell. There is a piece of land further north of our kingdoms that we can turn into our baseland. A place where an heir of mine and a Princess of yours will live, and rule over. They will wed, and when our time is up - they will rule over both kingdoms. This will go peacefully, we will make both places aware and their lives will not change much and we will handle things with grace and compassion. Our children, whether they be current or down the line will be taught of what's to come. If you accept this deal, we are willing to end this war.”

Cormac was quick to accept, signing the treaty that would be shown for decades to come.

This morning went from a happy day, I was woken up to a cupcake with a pretty candle and a celebration of my 18th. The day I was to start shadowing my mother and learning her duties. Shortly after everything was turned upside down.

Now i’m standing in a room, in front of a man everyone’s calling my fiancé.

The door shut, leaving me and my soon to be husband in the room. The world felt like it was caving in around me and I couldn’t stop it. How did my parents hide this from me for so long? How did they go every day telling me how the kingdom was going to mine just for me to turn 18 and be sent away to a man I’ve never met.

My hands went straight to the fabric near my legs, bunching a piece and trying to find comfort in the only thing I knew.

“I, uh, I know this is a lot. I’m truly sorry it was thrown on you like this.” He spoke softly. Almost like he did feel bad.

“How long have you known?” I snapped.

“Damn near my whole life really. I grew up hearing about the treaty, I was 3 when my father came in to announce to the castle my future wife was born. It’s been drilled in since then.”

I let out a frustrated sigh, why was everyone aware except for me? How was this fair? My life was being thrown away, all for some fucking treaty no one told me about.

“I did try to meet you sooner. I’ve been practically begging my father for the last 2 years to meet you. I tried to tell him it would be a big adjustment for all of us if you knew no one here. He didn’t listen, come to find out cause you didn’t know this was even a thing.”

Turning to face the balcony beside me, I fixed my shoulders and took a breath. “Quintin, if i’m doing this, we are doing it my way. I am Brìghde, Princess of Sunstone. I am an equal to you, and you will not treat me any less. All planning for Shadowfell’s future will be made together. I had a voice in my palace, that will not change here. Am I understood?” My voice was stern, never turning to face the man behind me.

“You will have whatever your heart wants here, I will make sure of it. You will be seen as nothing less than my equal, the future queen of Shadowfell. If anyone has an issue with that, it will be handled. Your voice will be heard here as well, I promise you that.” I heard his footsteps stop behind me, close enough that if I turned I would run right into his chest.

“Very well. If we agree, let’s go tell them we’ll do it. For the safety of my people, for the integrity of my family I will take your hand and plan the rest of my life here.”

Hours had passed before I was whisked away from the large room filled with the people I no longer knew and the people I was soon to know.

“Pardon me?” I voiced to the women walking me down the hall. “What is your name?”

She gave me a warm smile, “Clara, darling. You’ll be seeing a lot of me. Quinn hand picked me to help make you feel more comfortable here.” We walked in a comfortable silence down the hall until she stopped in front of a door.

“This is your bedroom. He had mentioned you may want your own space, so I went ahead and prepared this room for you. If there is anything you find unsatisfactory, please let me know. It’s my goal to help make you happy here. I will come back to check on you in a little while. Quinn’s room is just across the hall, you two are the only ones in this wing.” Clara spoke. She was quick to turn away.

“Wait, Clara?” Her head turned to look back towards me, a silent nod to continue. “Thank you, for all of this.”

I reached for the handle of the door, standing still. “Go on, you’re home now. Whether it feels like home yet or not. This is just as much yours. Go relax.” Clara gave the push I needed. As much as this doesnt feel like home, she’s right. This is my home now.

Stepping into the room, I was taken back by the gorgeous view from what looks to be a balcony. The sea was where I alway felt most at peace.

There was a table next to the door, and a bed further into the room on the opposite wall of the balcony.

A basket sat on the foot of the bed. Flowers, candy and a beautiful ring sat inside. A letter lay next to the basket.

I know all of this is sudden for you and honestly probably scary too. I can’t imagine how it felt to be woken up to news of you leaving and being married off. I cannot express my empathy enough for that.

I have requested for all of your belongings to be sent here as soon as possible. For now, I hope you find comfort in the clothes and bedding I had made for you. I heard from a little birdy (your mother), that dresses weren’t much of your thing, unless formal. So I had some other things made for you. As well as a couple gowns, for when the council needs us.

A seamstress is available for whenever you are ready to discuss a wedding gown, if you choose to wear one. Or if you even want a public wedding.

If you do not want one, please don’t worry. We do not have too. I’m here for whatever you would like, big and lavish or we sign the paper and put the rings on.

I met with the jeweler your mother has gone to, she had made all of your jewelry prior to this. She made the ring that is sitting in that tiny blue box. I thought a pearl with a onyx felt fitting from what I know about you. The pearl represents your love of the sea, (which I hope you enjoy that little balcony overlooking the ocean.) and an onyx for The Morrigan. In hopes she blesses us for the long life we have ahead of each other.

I seem to have rambled on for more than I intended too. I am just across the hall, if you need me and if I am busy; tell Clara. She'll bring you to me and whatever I'm doing can be put onhold.

I know this is hard and change is terrible sometimes, but i’m excited to see you grow and become happy here. Your smile is the breath of fresh air this kingdom needed.

See you at dinner, flower.

Yours forever,

Q.

[flamesignite]

He pulled his hand back from him when the other pulled away from him as he gave him a sad look. He knows the other wants him to be upset, but he had no right to be upset because the things he’s done he can’t take them back, and the inner self hatred he feels for himself show.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel, Atem. I don’t have a right to be upset for how you feel. That’s what I am, a murderer, a war criminal. Those titles will follow me for the rest of my life. I can’t take back what I have done, and you have a right to feel the way you do about it. If you don’t wish to be with me for this reason alone, I understand.” He looks at him seriously.

“This is something I have done and I’m holding myself accountable. It won’t change the past, it won’t bring back the people that are already gone because of me. I still wish to make everything right, even if I die in the process. That’s why I took this path, because I don’t want to see anyone suffer and I don’t wish to kill anymore people in such a way again.” He takes a shaky breath.

“I’m glad you were honest with me. Whether you understand or not why I think that, it’s because you’re a good person with a good heart. When you cause someone pain you feel guilty too. I don’t expect you to just sit there and accept the things I’ve done. Nobody should accept it, the things I did were terrible and should be condemned. I was naïve and a fool to think at first what we were doing was just following orders. I should have stopped them from doing this, I should gotten replaced, but I was too much of a coward.. so I went through with it, I continued to do as ordered, when I did it I wasn’t myself, i wasn’t the young teen that I used to be with dreams of protecting my nation. I was a monster, a murderer, following orders. I never forgot the people I’ve killed. I remember all of their faces. My brain doesn’t let me forget. These haunting memories will follow me for the rest of my life.”

He looks down looking at the hands as they shake softly as he whispers. “This is why I never wanted to get close to anyone. I don’t deserve it, and if you don’t wish to be with me because of this, I won’t stop you. If you hate me truly, if you don’t wish to be with me because of all that I’ve done, you don’t have to stay. I want to be with you, but if you really don’t want all of me, if you don’t want any of my demons that will follow me for the rest of my life even after death, I won’t stop you from walking away right now. “ He swallowed softly, his shoulders trembling.

“What right do I have? I never deserved any of this, yet when you accepted me for me, I was surprised.. Especially after seeing the archive… you still stayed, you even said that these blood stained hands deserve to hold the person I love. I won’t force you to stay if you don’t want to. I love you, you’re my everything. You’ll always be my everything. It’s up to you.. I don’t have a right to ask for your hand. After all that I’ve done… I don’t deserve happiness.”

This was his inner self hatred coming out of the wood work, it hadn’t been as bad as it usually was because of Atem always being there to make him happy and tell him how much he meant to him. With the real feelings Atem had though, they came back ten fold, reminding him how much of a pathetic piece of garbage he thought he was.

"What are you doing?!" Atem snapped back, flinching at Roy's touch as soon as he felt it, shifting away from him. As he looked at Roy, his eyes were no longer flickering red, but that familiar softness of purple once again, hot tears streaming down his face (he had to have run out of them to shed by now).

"I just called you a murderer! My own fi- my boyf- y-you... I called you heartless and a murderer! I just said that I don't forgive the actions I have no right to pass judgement on! I belittled the desire of someone who wants to start a family with me because he destroyed so many families, so many innocents, in a single snap!" Roy may or may not have heard that during the outburst but he definitely heard it now. "And you have the audacity to try to comfort me and tell me it's okay?! What is wrong with you?!"

Everything was out in the open thanks to that dark other, as once again he succeeded in exposing Atem for who he really was: a walking contradiction, a failure of a supportive partner, but most of all... a weak, pathetic, and overemotional Coward.

"The one thing I told myself to bite my tongue on... because I wasn't involved. Because everyone else had looked past it. Because Aibou forgave you! The one thing I told myself to never even think about, not for a second, because I didn't want to hurt you! I didn't want to undo everything we had built because I couldn't look past what you've done! And you're telling me it's okay?" He felt his arms wrap around himself, a sign that a certain emotion was starting to creep up on him. "This isn't okay! None of this is okay! Listen to what I had just said! Does none of that hurt you? Make you sad, or angry, or... something? Anything?!"

"I... I should have never watched that archive, and just lived in ignorance. At least then... things would have been easier. Now..." Hitched breaths were coming out of him as his voice choked up, body starting to wear out from all his crying. "I've ruined everything."

[agirlnamedzoya]

When You Hear My Name

Gojo Satoru x reader

Summary: Satoru Gojo was sealed in an unexpected turn of events in the Prison Realm on 31st October, 2018, and you, alongside what was left of the Jujutsu sorcerers you fought side by side with, spend days and nights finding him, until he finally made it out of there. What you didn't know, was that in order to win his freedom, he had to lose something. And unbeknownst to him, the price he had to pay was...the memories of you.

"You're so beautiful, sweetheart."

These were the most unexpected and first ever words you heard from the mighty, famed special-grade Satoru Gojo who was to be your classmate, mere hours after you got introduced, with a smirk on his lips and his eyes twinkling behind his glasses as he watched you blush.

And since the day he unlocked the secret to flustering you, he would never let an opportunity slide by.

"Do you know? You're so beautiful, sweetheart."

These were the words you got to hear every single day. While you first found them to be some kind of teasing joke, your heart started to believe him and love him for this.

At any party, whenever you got all dressed up, or at work, your hair flying while your cheeks held the blood from fighting curses, or even at home, in your messy state, he always told you how beautiful you looked to him.

When you once drew him, he said, observing your work, "I used to think that's impossible, but you make me look even more dashing than I could be."

"That's because that's how I see you in my eyes. Absolutely perfect."

He smiled. "I can't even attempt to draw you. That's because you're so beautiful, I can't capture it completely."

You were a flaming red mess at this.

You imagined a life with him. One full of happiness, where he said the same line to you every morning. Coming from him, you'd never get tired of those words. Just like you'd never get tired of him.

Your dreams all shattered with the Shibuya incident. You were on your knees, tear-struck face watching all the city go up in flames, Yuji screaming Gojo's name, and then the Headquarters announcing him a conspirator.

He was sealed in the Prison Realm. And you had no purpose in life left for you if he isn't there anymore. You are going to bring him home, even if it's the last thing you'll do.

You were among the many sorcerers, watching as Yuji and Hana attempt to break the seal, and somewhere, far, Satoru Gojo is released.

You, wanting to believe the news of his release, knew you couldn't rest until you saw him.

And one day, your wish came true.

You felt a new life and soul breathed into you when you saw the familiar head of white hair walk by you. Once inside the building where Yuji and his comrades were taking residence, you run after him.

"Satoru!"

He turned back to see you, running towards him. He smiled.

"Satoru, I missed you so much!" you cry as you barge into him.

While his arms do embrace you, his next words shake your world.

"That's nice of you, but have we met before?"

You break apart, and you stare into his sincere, blue eyes. No joke.

"You don't...know me? Y/N L/N?"

He closes his eyes in wonder. "I'm sorry, but...I really have no clue. Though, I am charmed to meet you, Y/N."

He forgot you.

The Prison Realm took you away from him.

And even though you'll still love him anyways, you'll still make a new life, new memories with him, it broke you apart to see a man in whose story you didn't exist, but who was your entire story.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled. "I must have been mistaken."

"No, no, I would like you to come and see me again." He grinned. "Because, I wanted to tell you, you're so beautiful, sweetheart."

And Satoru Gojo had no idea why the eyes of the girl in front of him brimmed with tears as her jaw dropped and she covered her face while her body shook with sobs. And what surprised him most was when she held his hands and repeated the same things.

"Keep telling me this all my life," you whisper into his hands, "because you're mine, you're mine, you're mine..."

You'll make him remember someday, that no matter what happens, you'll always be his beautiful sweetheart.

[academicdisasterfic]

Writing Interview

tagged by the inimitable @lqtraintracks 💗

What’s your total ao3 word count? 181,945

Your top 5 stories by kudos?

- Sourdough with 3692

- Half Awake with 1333

- In the Shape of Things to Come with 1133

- A Melody of You & Me with 1023

- Career Day with 866

Do you respond to comments?

I try, but honestly, I’ve spent the last two years so burnt out and exhausted that it’s fallen to the wayside. I read and appreciate absolutely everything and try to respond when I have the energy; I still get flutters at Ao3 comment notifications in my email and I am fervently hoping one day to make up the slack.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

lol I absolutely am allergic to anything but a happy ending: I’d say a tolerance for pain but it has a sequel so not quite! Some of my microfics are quite angsty.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

All of them lol - I think the one that makes me the happiest is Half Awake. Objectively A Melody of You & Me or Sourdough is much fluffier but something about the way H&D learn each other in Half Awake feels closer to my own idea of what finding happiness feels like.

Do you write crossovers?

Not yet! Never say never - I’m thinking all the time of how much fun it’d be to write Drarry in various other universes.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes and it’s hilarious to me every time. Girl who’s got the energy

Do you write smut?

I try but I am absolutely no connoisseur. I tend to write sex scenes more quickly & with less detail than I intend, but it’s something I’m working on!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes and it made me so happy! It’s such a huge compliment.

Have you ever co-written a fic?

An absolute banger that will never see the light of day with @cavendishbutterfly

What’s your all time favourite ship?

There’s Drarry, obviously, but Wolfstar is equally as sacred to me.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I started writing a longer fic about three years ago that was intended to be a very slow burn friends to lovers and was kind of processing my own divorce. I think I just moved on, both in my own life and as a writer. I ended up using some bits of it for When the Flood Comes - the description of Hogwarts at the start and the Golden Trio’s dynamic is from that other fic, particularly the part where Ron wakes up and has to reassure himself that Harry came back from the forest.

What are your writing strengths?

I’m definitely a character focussed writer - I love writing dialogue and emotions, and I think that’s probably what I’m best at. I also love writing setting & atmosphere but I’m not quite where I want to be with it yet - that being said, none of my writing is where I want it to be, I’m chronically dissatisfied with all my words.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I am not a plot guy. I struggle with holding suspense over longer works and I think I rush too much. Sometimes I worry about being autistic and the way I express thoughts and emotions: I’ll read other work and think mine is too simplistic. I’m not very good with descriptions either, I don’t tend to describe appearances too much.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

Big yes!!! So many fic writers speak English as their second language and have to write in English all the time; I love seeing mother tongues being written in. I probably wouldn’t feel confident enough to write in a language I didn’t speak but I’ve seen people do it really well with betas who can translate.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I think I’ve written everything I really want to - perhaps one day a short angsty Narcissa/Pansy, I’ve loved the idea of them for a while but I’ve not had the time.

What’s your favourite thing you’ve ever written?

My favourite fic I’ve written is When the Flood Comes - political intrigue was a new beast for me, but I loved writing it, and I also love Harry and Draco’s dynamic in it. Outside of fic, my original novel is my favourite overall, and I’m so proud that I finished it. I didn’t really believe that I’d be able to write a full novel until I actually did it, and it changed how I thought of myself as a writer. It’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

Tagging @cavendishbutterfly @saxamophone @saintgarbanzo @nv-md @sleepstxtic @oknowkiss @basicallyahedgehog @moonmanateee and anyone who wants to participate - I love reading these, please tag me!

[poppitron360]

Big “I’m Back, Bitch” post after my Hiatus.

Hello All!

This is kinda just intended for close moots or anyone who was worried about me or is interested in Poppi’s Personal Life Lore, just to keep you guys up to speed on how I’m doing after some time away and what to expect from me in 2025.

SO MUCH has happened in the two months I was away from Tumblr so for starters, here is a brief list of updates I have about My life/Fandoms/General shenanigans in no particular order

- The Ithaca Saga came out and it was AMAZING. I completely ignored my stockings that Xmas morning and instead just listened to it. By the time Christmas day was over I’d already listened to it about six times.

- Yes I was at the watch party along with 206,000 other people. It was truly historical.

- The Helluva Boss sinsmas special came out and almost made me cry. It’s been a while since I was posting about that show, but dw I still watch it

- I’m now on book 3 of Magnus Chase and YES YOU WERE ALL ABSOLUTELY CORRECT I LOVE ALEX SO MUCHHHHH. Expect some Alex Fierro/Fierrochase/Jack x Riptide content from me soon

- The Star Wars Disney+ shows are better than they’ve been since Mandolorian Season One.

- HAPPY 2025!!! This can’t be a real year. 2017 was still last year. No way we’re halfway through the 20s already.

- I had a BIG LIFE UPDATE that for personal reasons I can’t share online but it was BIG and also GOOD and I’m really proud of it. It was also unexpected and not the reason I took time off for. Idk why I’m including this bc I can’t really say anything about it but I need y’all to know that something good happened. It seems like when I vent about personal stuff here I only talk about the bad but good stuff does happen sometimes too.

- I got a weighted blanket for xmas. It’s so cozy and I love it.

- I have started getting into making OCs. Some for fandoms, some not.

- Penelope is now my favourite character in Epic.

- I’ve been writing this fanfic about the children of Percabeth, Solangelo, and Valgrace going on a TLT-style quest together so stay tuned to either read that or watch me give up on it and then just infodump about the plot I would’ve written if I’d had the energy

- I’m finally caught up on The Amazing Digital Circus

- I’m finally caught up on Agatha All Along (I still have the last episode to watch)- I think Joe Locke is stuck playing Sad Gay Baby-bois for the rest of his carrer now.

- Joel Smallishbeans won Wild Life and Grian is making 7hr Hermitcraft videos now.

- I performed in a play

- I have a 133-day streak on Duolingo!!

- Technically my one year Hyperfixation anniversary of Percy Jackson! I count it as the first Wednesday after Christmas as that’s when I watched the TLT musical for the first time. Because of this, whenever I doodle an SPQR tattoo on my arm when I’m bored, I will now draw two lines under it instead of one.

- Less than one month into 2025 and I can already predict that “The Challenge” is gonna be my top song of the year on Spotify

- Overall, I’ve just been trying my best to relax and take it easy, and I think I succeeded, which is good because that’s what I needed.

Now for the slightly less lighthearted stuff. I need to set a few things straight, for myself more than anything.

Firstly, I want to clarify that mentally I'm fine. I realise my leave was sudden and might’ve worried some people, and I apologise, but I am safe. You don't have to worry about my health or wellbeing.

This too will pass, and you'll get more dedicated, hyperobsessed Poppi back again once this has all blown over. Although, the aforementioned “BIG GOOD LIFE UPDATE” might complicate things.

Holidays are a stressful time for me, as I’m sure they are for you. With that on top of work and life stuff I needed to shed some mental load and unfortunately Tumblr was the first thing to go. And it will be the first thing to go again when something else stressful shows up. Adulting is hard you guys.

I've made it no secret that I've had some stressful stuff going on in my life these past few months. Yes, I am back from hiatus. Yes, I'm taking the time to rest and take care of myself. But I do not have the physical capacity to fully administrate a Tumblr blog on top of everything else right now.

So from now on, things are gonna be a little bit different around here. I won't be making posts every day and I won't be writing large fanfics or working on any complex fanarts.

I will need to take more hiatuses as things pile up.

I don’t know when exactly, but consider it a fact (unless I say otherwise) that this will happen again.

I know a lot of you will be understanding but I want to set these rules for myself so I don't feel any pressure from my brain to provide for you all. As I'm sure most of you will relate, I have a kinda all-or-nothing attitude to my interests, and as of this point in my life I can't afford to give my all to my blog. So expect a lot less from me these next few months.

Also, still nothing on the Autism Assessment Application stuff, in case anyone was wondering about that. This is the reality of living under the NHS. But by talking to people I’ve still been able to get the help and support that I need regardless of a diagnosis. And I also have a bunch of fidget toys now!!

Anyhoo, sorry for the ramble. I neither assume nor expect everyone will bother reading this so thank you for taking the time if you did. I wanted to put all of this in one post so I don’t need to keep talking about this and boring y’all with personal details in case you’re not interested. On with the fun fandom fiascos!!

I thank you all for your patience and being so kind and considerate while I needed some rest. I could not hope for a more awesome corner of the internet to exist on. Love you all. Stay safe. I’ll see you soon!

— Poppi <3

@lavenderfairiez @ginnyluna @groverapologist @echo-stimmingrose @demigod-shenanigans @keefessketchbook @sleepyycapybara @123letsgobestie @fairytalesociology @four-leafed-queer-gal @child-of-helios @puzzled-pegasus @ollieisanerd @twomanyfandomshelp @lokiwiiiiiii @yoshuko-ew @frayna-of-the-hollow @via-rant @hadeslegacyhephgirl @pjowasmy1stfandom @thetourturedwritersclub @m-for-now @inky-void @deciduowl

[strzxrin]

We need more moments leo and rowan !

These guys are incredible.

Just like you :)

-🦇

. . . take a look into my eyes, can’t you feel the tension !

in which . . . they show you for how long they’ve exactly pinned for you, and how much they want you.

cw. gn!reader, long time pining, edging, dumbification.

pairings . lèo jaccoud x gn!reader x rowan collins

demon x reader , angel x reader , roommates x reader , childhood best friends x reader

notes . that’s so nice of you, thank you!! but no bc i’m so surprised that people like these two a lot and i’m happy you want to know more about them !!

masterlist . character wiki

lèo jaccoud and rowan collins, your two best friends that you had grown up with, have always been so attentive to your needs. they would ensure that you’re alright, and were there for you in every moment of your life. they knew every single bit of you, and you knew every single thing about them.

at least that’s what you thought.

you thought you knew everything about the boys you grew up with, but considering how you were writhing underneath them, you don’t think so anymore.

soft pants escaped your lips as they pinned you down on the bed, lèo’s lips planting gentle kisses down your body, mapping his touch all over you whilst rowan marked your neck and teased your ears.

“a-angh! l-lèo..” you whimpered as the other muses at the sounds you were making. it was like a symphony for him, something that he wants to keep hearing over and over again.

how did you get up to this point?

well, it happened when you had came back home from a rather bad date, and you were tired and frustrated at everything. the both of them were at the couch when they heard your keys unlocking the door. did the both of them like the fact that you went on a date? no. they were going to take matters into their own hands later on.

lèo wanted to call out to you, to ask how it was, but then he saw your face and you were quick to leave to go to your room. your eyes was brimming with tears and something switched in both the men.

you plopped on your bed, hiding your face in the pillows as you tried to think exactly what happened. was it something about you? were you just that unlovable?

you hear your bedroom door knocking and you make a small noise. you didn’t want the both of them to see you sobbing, but at the same time, you can never really hide from them anyway. that’s how it’s always been.

the bed shifts, sinking a bit as the both of them sat down on either side of you. “you want to talk about it?” rowan asks softly, gently brushing your hair as you stay silent for a moment, hugging your pillow tighter. lèo and rowan glanced at each other before making it up in their minds to ensure that you are okay at all costs.

you don’t lift your head up and your voice was muffled by the pillow, but to the both of them, they can hear you clearly. “am i that unlovable?” they both pause at that question. what the hell happened for you to ask them that? lèo rubbed gentle circles on your back as rowan shook his head, even if you can’t see it.

“you’re incredibly loveable, ( name ). what prompted this question?” he asked softly as you sniffled and curled up even more. the sight made both of their hearts break. they never liked it when they saw you cry. if they could have it their way, they would keep you locked up in their shared house and never let you leave so that you would constantly be happy.

“not only did my date come two hours late,” you paused, almost hiccuping as you felt the frustration of it all at the situation. “he came in with someone else in his arms, as if he had forgotten we were supposed to meet up.” you continued.

the two of them stayed silent and there was a bubbling anger simmering in both of them when they listened to you. how dare that man do that to you, humiliate you like that? lèo gently kissed your head and looked at you, even as your face was hidden in the pillows.

“forget about him. he doesn’t deserve you. you deserve so much better, with people who actually care about you.”

“people like us,” rowan then continued as lèo nodded. suddenly you felt like all the frustration and hurt you were feeling left, all because of rowan’s words. you looked up, finally showing your face to them as you were obviously confused.

“what do you mean?”

“you’re rather oblivious when it comes to the people who actually like you, ( name )” rowan sighs as lèo smiles sheepishly but nodded along with the other. you had to take a moment to process, and put two and two together before realising what they meant.

“you two.. like me?”

“more than like, mon amour,”

and that’s how you ended up here. they had given a talk, a confession to how long they’ve loved you and how they both would have treated you far better than anyone else. they wanted to prove it, but of course, everything is done with your consent. they would never force you into doing something you didn’t like.

so when you accepted, you only gave them the condition to be slow and gentle. you were going to regret it since it’s been hours and you haven’t cummed once.

they gave you fleeting touches and would tease your erogenous zones over and over again. your toes would curl and your back would be arched but you wouldn’t get the release that you craved.

“p-please.. oh please..!” you begged out, your mouth leaking with drool as you just wanted to cum so badly. and you swore that you could see a sick look in their eyes at your state.

“please what, darling?”

“let me cum! please.. oh fuck i wanna cum so bad” you gasped out as rowan pinched your nipples at the same time when lèo hits your sensitive spot. “yeah?” lèo muses, watching as you writhe underneath the both of them.

“you can last a little longer than that, mon amour..”

“after all, every one hour is every year we kept our emotions at bay to not overwhelm you”

you realised it now, the hours on edging was the years that they’ve liked you for, and you know for a fact that you’ll be dumbed out by the time that this is over.

“m’sorry!! please m’sorry for not realising your feelings— angh!!” you choked out, tears welling in your eyes as rowan kissed them away. “we know, darling.. that’s why you can take just a couple more hours left”

“and after that, you can cum just as many times as you want.”

[ajvocals43]

Country Girl (Shake it for me)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 3378

Warnings: Rushed writing (not edited), body image issues, cheesy cliches

Summary: Y/n is in love with Dean, but what happens when she decides to show him what he's missing out on?

A/N: I couldn't let Dean's birthday go by without writing a fic for him. This was done really quickly and hasn't been edited but I've had this idea for a while. I will also say, I didn't add it but if you play Whole Lotta Woman by Kelly Clarkson during the beginning of the bar scene, it hits. That, along with Country Girl by Luke Bryan are what this was based off of.

Hot. That was my only thought as I stepped out of the backseat of the dark chevy impala. I stared up at the western themed motel in the small town in the middle of seemingly nowhere. Dean was freaking out, as per usual when it came to the “Wild West”, and what better place to be for all that than Texas. It’d been a long time since I’d been to the lone star state; not since I was a teenager trading months between my parents. It hadn’t seemed as hot then. Right now, I felt like I was standing on the surface of the sun in my dress pants and blouse that I’d worn to interview families while Dean and Sam went to the Morgue. I really needed some shorts. Really, I needed the confidence to wear some shorts. 

“Is anyone else sweating balls out here?” I asked the brothers who were grabbing their things out of the trunk to head into the room. My question fell on deaf ears as they both continued their conversation inside the air conditioning. They were probably both tired of my complaining since it hasn't stopped since we hit the dry heat earlier this afternoon. I sighed, grabbing my bag, shutting Baby’s trunk and heading into the room. Sometimes we split into 2 rooms but most times there were rooms that had 3 beds, or 2 beds and a cot that we would rotate through each town. This would have been my turn to have a cot but luckily, there were 3 beds lined up against the far wall. I sighed as the air conditioning kicked on and I felt the vent above me start to blow cold air into the room. 

“Better, princess?” Dean called from where he stood at the thermostat on the wall opposite me. I nodded, feeling the cold air chill my skin from the hot summer sun outside, walking over to my bed on the left side of the room. 

“Didn't you grow up in Texas, Y/n?” Sam asked from where he sat on his laptop. “Shouldn't you be used to the heat?” 

“I alternated months. And I never came in August because no sane person comes to Texas in August, Dean!” I called over my shoulder, rifling through my clothes for something that wasn't coated in sweat. 

I heard Dean chuckling behind me as he moved about the room. “Sorry, I don't choose where monsters kill people.” 

“Please, you're just happy you get to wear a cowboy hat again.” I shot back.

“You're damn right I am!” Dean said with a smirk. “And don't forget the boots, either, sweetheart.” 

I rolled my eyes as I went to get out my laptop, unable to stop the smile that crept onto my face. Sam was right, I'd spent a lot of time in Texas growing up and I'd loved it. Times had changed though and while there were pieces I'd always love and miss, it wasn't home anymore.  But I did have to admit, seeing Dean’s excitement made me feel something that I hadn't felt in a long time. It was rare to see him like this and for a second, I just let myself enjoy that, not knowing the next time I would be able to see it. 

Yeah ok, so I'm one of the dumb girls who fell for Dean Winchester. Sue me. I'm not going to go through the whole story of how the brothers saved my life and we became besties but then I started to grow feelings for the elder brother through the endless flirty banter. It's not necessary and I don't want to waste time on it. But it didn't change the facts. I was in love with him. And he didn't even notice me. 

Could I be more of a cliche? 

 Apparently, yes. 

We had a lot of work to do, so we got to putting the stories together and starting on the research for the night. And it took forever, especially considering how tired we all were from the drive into town. We decided to have dinner and call it an early night. 

 We’d spent a couple hours researching and coming up with a plan before Dean announced that he was bored out of his mind and going out. Sam looked at me, we both knew I was going with him. 

It wasn't that I didn't enjoy going out with Dean, I relished and feared the alone time in equal measure. Because on one hand, having time alone with Dean usually meant I got to see parts of him that I don't think he lets others see very often. And that just made me all the more hopeless because it felt like what he told me in these moments connected us on an even deeper level and that I knew him better than any one night stand or past girlfriend ever could. Because I knew the now Dean. The one that had been through hell, purgatory and so much more. I could understand him because I knew he wasn't the same 26 year old hunter that those girls had thought they could fix. I was under no delusions of being able to fix Dean Winchester. He was a fully grown adult and I was not his mother. But I think what kept my unreasonable hope of ever being with him going was that I accepted him. Bad habits, snap decision making, self-sacrificing traits and all. Because he was Dean. And all those broken parts that left scars and tore apart past relationships made him the most caring, courageous and loving person I'd ever known. 

On the other hand though, going out alone with Dean sometimes meant having to deal with broody moods, childish behavior and… picking up girls. Girls who looked nothing like me. I wasn't ashamed of my size…for the most part. I could appreciate my curves most days, but there were times where I struggled not looking like the bartenders or waitresses at the establishments we stopped at. The kinds of girls Dean picked up. He rarely ever went home with girls now, but it still happened. And it was not a fun time for me to sit in the backseat so he could drop me off at the hotel with Sam like I was a kid. Or even worse, when I refused to ride and had to walk or wait for an Uber to come pick me up. Because then, Dean wouldn't leave until someone safe showed up to come get me, and while I appreciated the thought, I did not appreciate the glares from the girls or the feeling like I was a child who couldn't take care of herself. 

Regardless, because we were friends, I wanted to look out for him. I knew Sam got some anxiety when Dean would just up and leave sometimes because you never know what could be lurking in the shadows, especially in our line of work. Or at least that's what he told me. I had the stinking suspicion he just wanted me out of the room because he knew about my feelings for Dean and didn't want to monitor my moping while he was gone. Which was understandable. 

 Dean and I got into our respective sides of the car as usual. Sam normally rode up front in the passenger’s seat, but would sometimes sacrifice the leg room for me when I got car sick. This wasn’t new by any means and yet, my body’s reactions were as if this was the first time we’d been this close together. I was hyperaware of his smell, the sounds of the leather moving and adjusting underneath us, the feel of the engine under me. I rustled through his box of cassettes on the floor before landing on Bob Seger. Dean gave me a look as I switched out the Led Zeppelin that had been in earlier. I shrugged and turned up the volume as the opening notes of Rock ‘N’ Roll Never Forgets came through the speakers. Dean was still giving me a weird look so I ignored him and started singing, waiting to enjoy the feel of the rushing air cooling down the car as we pulled out onto the road. 

Surprisingly, we didn't go to a bar though. Dean pulled Baby into a parking spot in front of a western shop that couldn't have been more than a mile away from the motel. What were we doing here? With the lack of movement on my part, Dean rounded the car and opened my door for me.

 “Come on, Princess. Let's get some gear.” I just stared at him. Why were we here? “You comin?” He asked when I just stared at him in shock. 

“Uh… y-yeah.” I stuttered. I truly didn't expect this from him. I scrambled to get out of the car and follow Dean who had turned with a smile and begun to walk into the store. 

As I entered the store, I got over my shock and figured he probably wanted a hat. Or boots based on the extensive collection that lined 3 of the 4 walls in the store. I followed him for a little before I ventured off to find shorts. The sweating was starting to get uncomfortable and I couldn't last much longer in jeans and dark shirts. I wandered through the racks, attempting to find clothes in my size, of which there weren't as many as I would like. But I did find some. A few lighter material tops and shorts that seemed like they’d fit. But I got distracted (I know, terrible for a hunter) and missed Dean sneaking up behind me. 

“What about these?” I turned to find Dean with a pair of what could barely be considered shorts. And sure they were cute with all their jewels and the belt that was looped through them, but they would no doubt look like underwear on me. 

“You’re funny.” I said as I turned back to what I was looking at. 

“I do.” he agreed, “But what's wrong with these?” 

“Theyre short.” I scoffed. 

“Isnt that the point of shorts?” he asked, seemingly confused. He wasn't wrong. And on good days, they were something I might wear. 

“I see your point. I guess” I said hesitantly. 

“Great! Then let's grab some boots…” he turned and eyed a scrap of fabric that was supposed to be a shirt “and this” he picked it up “and get out of here.” I laughed and followed obediently. 

We picked up some boots because we needed to be “authentic” for some reason and left for the motel. When we got back to the room, Sam was still in the same place we’d left him. “I’d assumed you guys went to get food or something.” He said before turning his computer towards us. “But get this. I think I found what we’re looking for.” 

The rest of the hunt went pretty smoothly. A simple salt and burn, and only Sam got mildly injured from being thrown into a wall. So we decided to celebrate. Well…Dean did. I figured this time I would stay back. 

“Why didn't you go with?” Sam asked from his place at the table. 

“Didn't feel like it.” I shrugged, not looking up from my book. 

“Uh huh.” Sam said. He paused for a while before saying “Y’know, he's not going to know how you feel unless you show him.” 

“Show? Not tell?” 

“Well we all know both of you are terrible at expressing your feelings. So maybe showing would be easier.” At this, he shut his computer and turned to look at me. 

I put my book down. “I love your confidence in me Sam, but you see as clearly as I do what his type is.” I said, trying not to let my sadness show. 

“Maybe…” he drew out, “But I also know my brother.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked. 

“It means, you should go to the bar.” Sam said, as if it were that simple. Maybe it was for other girls. The ones who didn't have the history we did. 

“Im scared Sam.” I finally confessed. 

“And?” he asked. “I don't remember you ever letting a man control your life.”  

He was right. I was a total cliche but… to be honest, I loved making people realize they'd underestimated me. The bar wasn't far, close enough to walk even though Dean had taken the car. Sam’s words got me thinking. And while I was terrified of being rejected by him, I felt like I owed it to myself to have a good time, regardless of what or who Dean was doing. 

So it was time to get off my ass and stop moping. I went over to my duffel bag in the corner of the room and found the shorts and top Dean had picked out earlier that week. What better way than to make a man regret than to throw his own choices back at him. I jumped into the shower and pulled on the clothes. It was a lot more skin than I usually showed but… it'd do the trick. The shorts did wonders for my ass and the top the same for my boobs. And while I wasn't fond of my thighs spilling out the bottom with the highest inseam of a short I'd ever had, it was a pretty sexy look. As a hunter, I never wore makeup so I did my hair and was about ready to leave, when at the last minute, I changed my regular thick boots for the cowboy boots we’d gotten earlier that week. It'd been a while since I'd rocked the denim and boots look, I kind of missed it if I was honest. 

And with that, I bade Sam goodbye and walked out the door. When I walked in, it was actually pretty crowded. It must've been a dancing night because when I looked to my right, there were at least 30 people on the floor line dancing. Maybe I'd head over there. But then I spotted Dean at the bar and I made my way over to him, swaying my hips just a little so as to draw a bit of attention from those around me. Maybe they’d see what he was missing. I stopped in front of him and he seemed stunned. Probably surprised that I came out tonight when I'd been adamant about staying in the motel earlier. But then, of course, the bartender returned and started flirting with Dean.

Refusing to let that break my mood, I turned and smiled at someone on the other end of the bar. He smiled back and waved. Just then, the music changed, and I heard the beginning guitar of Luke Bryan’s Country Girl start blasting from the stage. It was one of the few newer line dances I’d kept up with. I'd gone dancing years ago with a friend of mine and she taught me it so I at least knew one modern dance. I jumped up and strutted over to the floor, my steps falling to the beat of the song. 

And wow. In my constant fight against the supernatural, I sometimes forgot how much fun simple things like dancing could be. I lost myself in the moves, getting more into it until I was in the middle of the floor, smiling and laughing with those around me. Throughout the song, I let my worries fade away and let myself embody the spirit of the lyrics. Until it came to an end. I turned around to leave and found Dean had moved from the bar to one of the smaller standing tables that rounded the dancefloor. I made my way over to him. 

“I almost forgot how much fun those are.” I panted, coming off the dance floor. 

“Yeah, I bet.” Dean answered as he slid a glass of ice water to me across the small table top. “You were a natural out there though.” 

I took a sip and let the cool water slide down my throat. “That? It's really just about getting the repetition.” 

“Nah, I'll leave that to the professionals,” he held his bottle of beer up in a salute to me. “I'm just fine with my place watching.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked, looking back to the dance floor. “Who were you watching? The blonde? The redhead?” I tried for nonchalance. 

“You.” I heard him say behind me. It took a second for the word to register. 

I turned around, confused. “What?” 

“I'm always watching you. You know that.” 

Right. I really needed to stop getting my hopes up about things that were not real. “Dean, I appreciate that, but I promise, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself-”

“It's not like that and you know it.” 

“Dean, I-”  I started. 

“Baby, don't make me spell it out for you; you know I want you.” He deadpaned. 

My jaw dropped. There was no way I had just heard that right. “Huh?”

He looked at me silently, waiting for me to wrap my brain around what he was saying, like it wasn't the last thing I had expected to hear come out of his mouth. 

“You…want me?” I asked finally. “Like me, Y/n, me?”

Dean chuckled slightly. “So the teasing wasn't intentional. 

“Teasing?” I asked, bewildered. “What teasing?” 

“The dancing, the flirting, the tight clothes-” 

“Tight clothes?” I blurted. 

“Not like that.” he started. I hadn't realized the sexist connotation to those words as he’d said them. “Sweetheart, you have to have realized what you do to me when you wear those jeans, or leggins, or those deep v tops.” 

“That's because they don't make a lot of clothes that fit bodies like mine.” 

“Really?” his voice dropped. “Cause I'm pretty sure that every stitch of clothes you're wearing, right down to those boots were made specifically to fit every inch of your body perfectly.” He grabbed onto my belt buckle and pulled me, harshly against him. “And to drive me right out of my damn mind.” 

Well fuck me. 

Literally. Please. 

My eyes dropped to his lips. Inches from mine now, I could feel his body heat radiating through our clothes. He leaned down, his right hand moved from my belt up my back and into my hair, grabbing a fist full of curls and pulling gently, drawing my eyes up to his. I licked my suddenly dry lips as I watched him smirk before leaning in slowly, giving me plenty of time to back out. Fat chance of that happening. I raised up on my toes and met him halfway, sealing our lips together in the single hottest kiss I'd ever had. I'd laughed at the amount of girls that gushed over his abilities but holy hell. They were right. I held onto him as we kissed every last breath out of our lungs, only pulling away when it started to hurt. I felt his smile against my own as we caught our breath.  

This was crazy. Absolutely insane. And incredible. “Damn woman.” Dean said, his breaths matching mine. “You drive me crazy.” 

“I know the feeling.” 

“Yeah?” he asked with a smirk. 

“Yeah.” I said dreamily. But my smile sobered as I remembered the bartender. “But what about-” 

“What about what Y/n?” he asked. 

“The bartender?” I asked. He looked at me blankly. “Shes cute.” 

“And?” he asked. “Princess, have you seen yourself?” He made a show of looking me over. “You’d drive any man out of his mind. I'm just lucky you chose to do it to me.” 

“Who said this was for you?” 

His face turned damn near murderous for a moment. “Let them try it and see what happens.” With that, his hand slid down to wrap around my waist and pull me impossibly tighter to him. There would be no doubt to anyone that we were together. “You’re stuck with me now sweetheart.” 

“Sweetheart?” I asked, playfully. “Not ‘princess’?” since that seemed to be his favorite name for me as of late. 

“You like that, huh?” he asked gruffly. “Well…you're mine, princess.” And with that, he leaned down to kiss me again. 

Masterlist 

[fluffykiddosstuff]

I am currently sick lol so i have the motivation to write a story abt how the dateables would react to you being sick

Gender neutral reader

_

❤️‍🔥~Lucifer~❤️‍🔥

Lucifer was patrolling inside the house, everyone woke up late due to a potion that solomon secretly putted in the cake that luke brought. Causing them to feel extreme fatigue, fortunately no other things as been reported to him, he arrived in front of your door and knocked.

- mc you will be late for school !

No response, before he could knock again you opened the door, clearly not looking good with a runny red nose, puffy and teary red eyes.

- sorry Lucifer i don't feel good..

You sniffled a bit as you looked at him, he thought for a bit then groaned

- mc are you allergic to something? And did you tell Solomon?

- uh..? I don't know, alimentation from human world no but from the devildom maybe ? I didn't tried everything down there

You coughed, Lucifer placed you back on your bed and tucked you in.

- you don't move until i come back okay ?

You nodded and he leaved, explaining everything to his brothers, they were very displeased with your allergy and wanted to help but lucifer forced them to go to school anyway, he informed diavolo too by calling him.

- yeah they won't come at RAD today no..well i'm sure they can take care of themselves..really? Okay i will do that then have a good day diavolo.

He hang up as he got to the kitchen and made a quick soup before going back to your room, he sat on the edge of the bed and sighed then smiled to you a bit.

- Diavolo understands and asked me to take care of you until you get better, i made you some soup

You smiled a bit before coughing again, sitting yourself up.

- thank you lucifer..i'm sorry i didn't know and-

- hush it's not your fault, now go on and eat, i will try to find a potion that can ease your suffering

You nodded and he leaved your room, you finished your bowl and when he came back, he found you sleeping deeply, he smiled a bit and putted the potion on your night table, he looked around, making sure no one was home yet, he blushed and kissed your forehead before leaving your room, you smiled in your sleep.

He needed to find solomon..💢

💰~mammon~💰

You were running away with mammon, you both got to the casino and today's was mammon lucky day ! He kept winning tons of money, but the other demons didn't liked it and started to chase him, as you passed a river he stopped and took your hand without warning, he jumped in, the demons left and you both got back with a long walk to the house of lamentations.

When mammon woke up, he smirked and prepared himself before running inside your room, as per usual.

- GOOD MORNING HUMAN-!

Before he could continue his morning speech, you held your head in your hands, many used tissues on your bed and night table and you looked at him with a red nose.

- mammon not so loud...i think i fell sick because of yesterday swim in the river.. i didn't slept at all..

He looked at you with a bit of remorse, he forgot that humans are more fragile than demons concerning health, then an idea popped inside his head and he runned out of your room to find lucifer

Of course, said lucifer wasn't happy that because of mammon, you were sick and he told him he would get punished by using all the casino money he got to pay his debts, meanwhile he had to take care of you until you were better.

Everyone leaved to RAD and mammon came back to your room with some hot things to help your sore throat, medicines and a cooled cloth for your fever, you looked at him, he was blowing on the soup so your tongue wouldn't get burned..how cute, mammon was really a caring demon, he insisted on feeding you himself even if you could do it. He then tried to tuck you in and smirked, proud of himself.

- you better sleep now, and you will feel better in no time thanks to the great mammon !

You smiled and asked him to come closer, he did it and then you kissed him on the cheek, he blushed and started to babble nonsense as you chuckled and fell asleep, he rubbed his cheek  and smiled dumbly, it was worth it.

🐍~leviathan~🐍

You were both gaming until late at night in levi's room, you both didn't noticed but it was rather chilly, leviathan since he was a demon didn't mind it but you on the other hand didn't noticed because of the game, as morning came by, you looked at your phone and sneezed, you rubbed your eyes, your throat feeling tight and sore. Levi looked at you and frowned, seeing that you infact, didn't looked well.

- mc are you okay ?

You tried to nod but before you did you sneezed again,sniffling a bit.

- i think your room was too cold and i got sick..

Levi checked and in fact, you were right, he felt guilty, he didn't noticed and because of that you were feeling unwell! He got up and texted someone on his phone, staring at it like his life was depending on the response of the person. He then smiled and looked at you.

- Lucifer said that since you gamed all night because of me you could do RAD classes from home with me ! I'll help you with the lessons.

You nodded and levi hurried you in his bathtub bed so you could stay warm, he runned to the kitchen and got some things he thought would be better for your state, he then hurried back in his room, putting everything at your disposition.

- so i got you water, medicine and food, we should get started now, we can finish this quickly

As hours went by, levi instructed you how to do efficient work and quick by home, at the end of it, you falled asleep while he was gaming on his portable console, he looked back at you to ask something and smiled a bit, he got inside the tub next to you, blushing a bit as you clinged to him and he continued gaming.

📚~satan~📚

Satan was again trying to find a curse for lucifer, searching through his so loved books, as he was repeating the spell in a murmur, you knocked on his door and opened it, signaling your presence, he got startled and jumped as the curse who was supposed to enter the bottle, flew out of it and hitted you, making you fall on the ground. The blonde demon got closer to you and helped you up, analyzing you to see if you had injuries or if the curse did something to you. At first not but then you started to sniffle.

- satan what curse were you working with ?

- it was a curse who can make any creatures sick, see us demons don't fall sick often and next week, lucifer as a ton of work and meetings, i wanted to use this on him but seems i have other plans now

He sighed but not because of you, it was an accident after all, he did told you you could enter in his room as long as you knock.

For the next week you stayed in his room, occasionally getting out to eat but most of the time he would bring everything to you directly, he even readed books for you, whatever genre you liked and he even discussed with you what would be best to prank lucifer with his cursed books.

As lucifer was walking by he saw the door opened and smiled when he saw that satan had his head on yours and falled asleep. The punishment can wait.

💘~asmodeus~💘

Asmo was testing some new products with you on his livestream like usual, everyone loved the lustful demon and caring human duo, you stood still as he applied some Fondation to your face, you blushed a bit since he was so close.

- see that's how you make a smooth surface guys ! I do recommend this product even if it smells a bit weird to me

Hours went by as he finished his and yours makeup, he finished the live on devilgram and looked at you, having tears in your eyes

- oh honey is my beauty making you want to cry ?

- well not this time asmo i think i have an allergy to one of the products

You took one of his aloe vera wipes and took off the makeup, asmo was disappointed because he wanted to take pictures for devilgram but your health comes first !

When everything was off he did noticed that your skin was reddish with some pimples and other things from the allergy

- i think it's the foundation darling, here take this aloe vera mask it will ease your face and then wash it with water

You nodded as you did so, meanwhile asmo looked trough the ingredients and saw a product that was banished because it could harm sensitive skin especially on humans and angels, asmo made a complain on devilgram and called the company, now they were in big trouble.

🍔~beelzebub~🍔

You went out with beel to gather some ingredients for a knew recipe he wanted to try, but as he was picking some berries up, it sarted to rain, you quickly found him and you both runned back to the house of lamentation, beel trying to protect you with his jacket as best as he could.

When you both went inside you shivered and sneezed, feeling a sudden wave of heat.

- beel i think i catched a cold because of the rain..you whimpered, trying to find warmth in his socken wet jacket

- i'm sorry mc it's my fault, here get on the sofa

He took the jacket off of you and ran to your room, getting your pajamas and a blanket, as you changed in the bathroom he started to cook in the kitchen, every now and then eating something so he could concentrate on the things he was doing, you smiled when he came back in the living room with a plate full of a delicious dish.

- here i wanted to try it out myself but since you are feeling unwell...you can have it

He smiled to you and putted the plate on your legs, you started to eat as you both watched a movie, beel clinging to you, having a natural hot body heat. You both falled asleep cuddling each other.

🐏~belphegor~🐏

  You were sleeping by belphegor's side in the attic, leaving the window open since it was a hot day in the devildom, but you both stayed asleep during the night and it got way colder, you woke up the next day with a runny nose as you sneezed, feeling belphie behind you slowly stirring from his sleep.

He looked at you and quickly saw that you were unwell.

Without you spelling a word he got out of bed and came back with painkillers, soup and a heat cow plushie.

- i'm sorry we should have checked the window before sleeping, but hey we can stay in bed all day so you can feel better, not that i mind

👑~diavolo~👑

  You were at one's of diavolo famous parties, including most of the prestigious peoples from all three realms, you didn't knew that the castle was this cold, even with so many poeple being in it.

You sat on a chair sipping on your imported human champagne before feeling really cold, the night stopped and everyone got home as you and the brothers were invited to stay.

Diavolo came close to you,as he was gonna talk you sneezed

- mc did you got sick ? I'm sorry i forgot to tell you to bring a coat with you, we got a problem with the windows today, here follow me

Diavolo invited you in his own room, barbatos being at your service and bringing you some tea for your sore throat, you smiled and thanked them.

Diavolo patted your head and kissed your forehead before giving you his coat and leaving the room, a smile on his face, leaving you flustered.

🫖~barbatos~🫖

It was one of your many night walks with barbatos outside of the castle,  every time you got here with the brothers, you tried to spend as much time you could with the butler. As you were walking, he picked a flower and putted it next to your ear, you smiled but your eyes started to tear up, you took the flower in your hand and sighed.

- i'm sorry barbatos seems like i'm allergic to that type of flower i can't keep it

He snatched it from you and throwed it in a bush, taking your hand and getting in one of the many guests rooms.

- do not worry my dear, besides we don't want you to be sick for the week do we ?

He kissed your hand in an apology as he made tea for you and took care of you, you falled asleep like a baby and when you woke up, a nice flower was waiting for you on the bed, one you weren't allergic to.

🏹~simeon~🏹

You were in potion class with simeon, helping each other with the lesson being less aware of it than demons, but as he dropped some liquid in it, you sneezed and your eyes started to water, leaving on your side a panicked simeon.

The teacher, quickly coming to your table by simeon's calls, ordered you to go to the nurse office with simeon, getting a severe allergy reaction.

When you arrived with simeon's help, the nurse hurried to take a seringue with something to ease the allergy, you squeezed simeon's hand and he smiled to you as the nurse took care of you.

You stayed all day talking to him with a slightly dizzy mind, did simeon was always this shiny and beautiful or is it just your mind ?

🔮~solomon~🔮

As solomon's apprentice, you had to test every potion with him, meaning you were really close to every ingredient, as he worked with a new spell, the table with all his remaining potion exploded in a loud sound and colors flying everywhere around you and solomon, while he was unaffected, you started to cough and hiccuping, solomon giggled as he looked at you

- solomon a little help please-

- yeah yeah sorry mc-

He searched for ingredients and made a potion in the quickest way possible, he gave it to you and you drank it, the effects being less noticeable but still there

- you will have to wait a bit i'm sorry you can rest for the day i don't mind

You got to your room to sleep, not noticing solomon watching you through his crystal ball so he could make sure you were okay

⛏️~thirtheen~⛏️

You were playing games and others stuff with thirtheen, it was one of those nights where you weren't with the boys but with her, your monthly outgoing day perse. You were outside with her, throwing some eggs and paper toilet on a succubus house who treated you badly during the week, you both escaped and laughed like teenagers.

- y/n i love human pranks we should do them more often !

When you both were far enough you sitted on the grass and talked with her watching the stars, you both fell asleep for the night.

That's how you became sick, she called lucifer and the others, and told him that you were gonna be taken care by her hands.

She stays in your room all the time and helps you trough your sickness with fun activities of course.

🖤~mephistopheles~🖤

Helping mepgisto in his work was hard,but you still wanted to ease his mind a bit so you managed.

You both worked until midnight, not noticing that the window was a bit open, you both got to bed and the morning after, when he came to your bedroom door to wake you up, you opened the door with tired eyes and a runny nose.

He knew immediately that you got sick somehow and ushered you to bed, telling diavolo about you feeling unwell, even if he had a lot to do he took his paperwork and started to do it in your room to keep an eye on you while you rested, bringing you whatever you needed so you didn't had to move

🪡~raphaël~🪡

You both were at purgatory hall, luke and simeon being gone for the day, you chatted with some tea while you looked at a fashin magazine, for the latest trends in the devildom.

- this fabric is a new kind of it's own, it's made with dragon scales and lava powder, simeon gifted me a scarf made with it, wanna try ?

You nodded but as soon as you wrapped it around your neck, it started to itch.

- raphaël is it supposed to itch this much?

- i mean the scales itches a bit but they should not be that uncomfortable to wear let me see

He took it off carefully off your neck and looked at it, it was red and dry

- seems like you can't wear this fabric, maybe you are allergic ? Here i will sooth it with some healing cream that asmo gifted me

You sat down as raphaël rubbed the cream on your neck, and for good mesure you stayed until it took effect, chatting some more with the angel.

🐶~luke~🐶

You were baking with the little angel for everyone,  being almost the anniversary of the student exchange program. You mixed the eggs in a bowl while luke came back with some strange bottle

- luke what is this ?

- it's a new flavor ! Simeon gave it to me he said it's a limited one ! Wanna try it ?

You nodded as he took a little spoon and poured the blue liquid in it.

- here you first !

As you tasted it, it was sweet and acid at the same time, a bit like some fruits in the human realm.

- that's good-

Before you could finish your phrase, you started to cough, and your throat started to itch.

- y/n are you alright !?

He posed the bottle and ran to you, fortunately simeon came back and solomon was on his feet, they looked at your red face and knew what was happening the moment they saw the bottle open.

Solomon prepared something to ease your throat while luke was doing his cakes the tail between his legs feeling bad

Simeon comes back from the livingroom, you resting there.

- no worries they will be alright, seems like an ingredient is too strong for them, maybe make a little cake for them without the serum i gave you ?

He smiled as luke nodded rapidly, he will make the best cake so you would feel better ! And also to make it up to you..

__________

33278 words

Sorry i haven't written in a while 😭😭 imma kinda lazy (plus i have like two ocs story to write..bruh, i also lost some dbh stories i putted on draft bc wattpad hates me 🥲 so i have to write them all over again) btw hope you like this !

[sinsodom]

Ive seen someone pointing out Caleb most likely being experimented on as well and also that remembers it and can we talk how devastating that could be his personality developtment as a literal child? As LI all he sees and has is MC - the only person who survived the same thing he did, be it experiments or/and being orhpaned due to chronorift catastrophy. Stripped of everything but his name and few perosnal data, MC doesnt even have that. So MC remains his only link to past and present. But she doesnt remeber and he doesnt want her to suffer, not then, not now. Most people would be pissed off or hurt upon being forgotten *cough raf cough* which is valid human reaction, but from what we saw in the memories, he is soft with her, ready to remind her his name and their bond. Because despite being child himself, who needed to be protected as well, he decided to care for her. And we could write paragraphs about how draining it must have been and how damaging to young person' developtment. He shows clear signs of untreated trauma but yeah, call him a villain and lets call it a day /s. Sorry for rambling >.>

Ramble xD i love it 💚

The only thing i really put hate on, is the reunion. No one was sorry, not even a hug?? What would've been possible in his home ffs. No. Cold and nothing. But thats the storys fault.

My theory from Sylus on is still: linkon is the bad shit here xD Bad Sylus prepares n109 for war and ratting out the truth. The 3 boys are either in knowledge of that, or, if not, don't know that linkon is dark in real 🤔

With this perspective its a wonder that Caleb came through with lying to the whole fleet 🤣 that was way too easy come on 🤣 fact is: he has a plan. For me: i think that Caleb got found from Viper and co. Side, they saved his life but he has to pay for it. Or they are in fact good maybe xD ofc he is a bit possessive?? Are you for real he suffered af and what, took her hand at night and dreamt to keep her safe 🤣 yeah bad Caleb.

I point out here that he COULD lock her if he wanted to and he didnt. Facts. The "no caring for the others hurt" rages me just 😒

The first thing i asked myself was, whats MC's story. Parents where?? Core how?? Not much info. What if she has like an alpha core or whatever, fact is, everyones behind her. For that Caleb is kinda calm?? Its sad that so many people want a SO dark villain (+fanfics present him like that too mostly)... i would call him everything, curse him and maybe a soft punch but fuck, i would hug the shit out of him and cuddle him to sleep meanwhile being mad on him 🤣

I am happy that i am not alone with my perspective and dont hesitate to throw theories and storys at me 🤣💚

[astra-galaxie]

Taking a Break

Hi everyone.

As you’ve probably guessed from the title, I am taking a break from the Criminal Case fandom. I’ll be gone for at least 2 weeks, maybe more if needed. While I’m gone, I will not be on any sites, at least not for CC-related reasons, updating any of my stories or posting new content on Tumblr. That means I won’t be checking notifications or even going on some platforms, and I will be leaving all the Discord servers I am in after posting this.

If you need to reach me (please don’t contact me about CC), I will occasionally check my direct messages on Discord.

2024 has so far been the worst year for my mental health, and to summarize how I feel in one sentence: I’m tired, and honestly, I have considered leaving CC more than once. I tried not to let my mental health affect my relationship with CC since it was like the light at the end of the tunnel for me. But with things calming down IRL, I’ve realized how straining CC was on my mental health and a person can only bend so much before they break, and I fear I will break if I do not step away…

I have been in the CC fandom for over 10 years, most of that time spent as a lurker and then as a writer who stayed in a little bubble isolated with my stories and rarely engaging with others. But over time, I came out of my bubble with the help of friends I made through CC and gained even more along the way. However, things have happened recently behind the scenes that are making me consider leaving the fandom, so it's time I take a break and focus on other things for a little while.

This is not goodbye forever. If you know me and my stories, you know my goal is to write every Criminal Case season from 1 to 8 (yes, I will be writing and hopefully improving City of Romance!). I’ve been at it for about 8 years, so I’m too far into things to give up!

But I have another goal, and no, I’m not referring to making headcanons for every CC character. It's to create a safe space for people to share their ideas, thoughts, and opinions without fearing ridicule. There is enough hate in the world, so why should I contribute to it when I can use my platform to be positive instead? It’s why, even when the idea might not be my cup of tea, or I might not understand parts of it, I still encourage people to pursue their ideas and focus on the good things. I hope people know that you can send me the craziest, crack-filled ideas (anonymously or not) and that I will do my best to give positive feedback.

I do give constructive feedback if people ask me to, but again, I’m no Goddess of Writing and Content Creation, so I would never expect people to take my words as gospel. I would never want people to feel they HAVE to change something in their creation just because I suggested it. I want people to be happy with THEIR work, just as I am with mine.

The biggest piece of advice I always give people when they ask for my help or opinion on their project(s) is to write about what makes you happy. While it is important to listen to feedback to learn what you can improve on, ultimately, YOU are the creator. YOU are putting in the time, effort and skills into the project, and if YOU are not happy with what you are creating, then you will lose interest in it. Create things you are happy and proud of. YOU are bringing your ideas to life and sharing them for others to enjoy, not the other way around.

You can never please everyone, but you can always please yourself.

But do NOT use that as an excuse to spam, rage bait, or terrorize others. Everyone is entitled to their likes and dislikes, but you should not force your opinions on others. If you see something you don’t like, just ignore/block it and keep scrolling. It takes much less time than writing a hate comment or making a call-out post. And while sometimes those are reasonably warranted, please still take the time to consider the repercussions of something before you post it and ask yourself: Is it really worth it?

If you’ve stuck with me this long, thank you for listening to my rambling.

Maybe it's naive or wishful thinking to hope people have learned from 2024 and will think before they post, but I hope at least some people will learn from their mistakes or those of others. I know I have learned from the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t think I’m perfect or anyone special because, at the end of the day, I’m just a writer who discovered a hobby for creating fanfiction when they were a teen and somehow gained a following of amazing fans and made fantastic friends along the way. I’m human and make mistakes, but it's from those mistakes that we grow and improve as people.

That said, I am signing off for now. My mental health is at rock bottom, and all I can focus on recently is negative. I keep thinking the worst of my writing and other content. All my mind has been telling me is that everything I make is terrible, and no one likes it. And while I know that is far from the truth, thanks to the amazing support and love I receive from all of you (shout out to everyone who keeps the CC fandom alive!) I must leave and stop focusing on everything before returning with a clear, more positive mindset.

I will see you all when I return. Will I not do anything CC related? Probably not, since you can take Astra out of CC, but you can't take CC out of Astra! But I will not be touching or even looking at my mainstream series while I’m gone, so don’t expect me to return with an update ready for it.

Thank you for listening.

Astra G.