#but i also what to have the ability to give to others and tell them there is no shame or embarrassment in asking for help

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

[since everything under a Read More cut gets deleted in case a blog deletes/gets deleted and the WayBackMachine isn’t good with pictures, for Archive Purposes Only, I will add the most important bits of the/rest of the full post and have also checked/updated/added the source links to the best of my abilities]

"July - August 2010

I’ll give a brief overview of the July - August timeline to set the stage. Some of these are ballpark estimates.

July 18: Day 1 of Boot Camp

July 22: Boot Camp Judgement Day/1D Is formed

Late July: First band meeting they talked about in the movie

Mid August: 2 weeks at Harry’s dad’s bungalow

End of August: Judge’s Houses

28: Liam tweets “Things are getting very interesting.” (tweet) 

28: Liam tweets “I’m leaving on a jet plane! Nice choice of song. X” (tweet) 

31: Stan posts to facebook “OH GOD TENSE TIMES!!!!!!!” [link not working, Stan has set the post to private] 

Harry created his twitter on August 22 but did not tweet much until September. Louis was tweeting a lot, but not to Harry or any of the guys until September. Part of this was probably due to NDA’s (nondisclosure agreements)they had to sign promising not to disclose any results from episodes that had not aired yet. So a lot of group chatter about rehearsals and getting together was likely prohibited.

Original 1D Twitter Account

Before the first live show, all articles and twitter accounts created by fans called the guys “1 Direction” and not “One Direction.” On September 27th, Louis tweeted one of the first fan accounts: "@1DirectionXF is not the official twitter , we do have an official twitter but havent started promoting it yet .“ That got me curious about whether @onedirection was the first Twitter account.

It was not as that account was created on October 29, 2010. 

So I started playing around with user names, seeing if I could guess what it was. I combined "1direction” and onedirectionmusic from the original Youtube account and voila. 

Let’s all follow it and see if anyone notices.

(Hilariously, Jay tweeted “I love ‘One Directin!’” on the night of the 26th, while Hannah confirmed to fans on the night of the 27th that it was “1Direction.”)

Liam: Liam was an interesting character before the live shows started. Most know that he had already tried out for X Factor in previous years, including even making it as far as Judge’s Houses, before he was ultimately rejected. He had a small fanbase built in from that and communicated with them via Twitter, Facebook and a website.

Liam spent most of the time leading up to Boot Camp talking to fans and all of his time after boot camp talking to fans via Twitter, especially encouraging people to buy his wrist bands which he sold via his website. He did not tweet much about the show itself or any of the guys, despite the fact that they tweeted him on several occasions. Liam either took the NDA much more seriously than the others or he just wanted to appear solo as long as possible. 

Because he had tried out before and was so obviously loved by the judge’s in his tryout in 2010, Liam was dubbed the X Factor favorite in 2010 before the live shows began airing. This included numerous articles about his odds (link 1 | [link 2 source no longer available] and he was even linked publicly to Cher Lloyd as early as September 8th [link source no longer available]. This is interesting and telling because as the dynamics shifted and Harry became the clear favorite, the PR narrative involving Cher was dumped in his lap (which he, Anne and Gemma all denied). 

In the movie, Louis and Liam talked about how, in the beginning, they didn’t get along because Liam took things too seriously and Louis was too care free. And based on Liam’s Twitter alone it is pretty apparent how intensely focused Liam was on winning the X Factor from the beginning. It doesn’t surprise me at all that these two personalities clashed like they did. But it’s neat to see how close they are now. 

Niall Not much to say here other than Niall is awesome and hasn’t changed at all and I love him. He tweeted Harry and Louis (and Zayn once) in September. He seemed to be completely ignoring the NDA while the others carefully danced around it. 

Zayn Zayn spent a lot of his time inviting fans to come chat to him via his Facebook page. He talked a little about his religion and the fact that he is mixed race. But he tended to keep stuff off Twitter (surprise lol). 

Harry and Louis Yes, they are a unit so they are grouped together. They actually didn’t tweet each other at all until September 27th, 2010. But we know they were talking via phone because it’s been mentioned they were the two who planned the bungalow and also, Niall’s infamous tweet to Louis from September 13: [tweet]

We all know Harry tweeted the lyrics to “Hannah” by Ray LaMontagne on September 13th around 5:30 PM [UK time], which is pretty awesome. [tweet]

And of course, the tweet from Niall (above) was a little less than 4 hours later.

But the night before that, he also tweeted song lyrics. To “For the First Time” by the Script. BY THE SCRIPT. “FOR THE FIRST TIME” BY THE SCRIPT. I just think that’s really cute and The Script makes me emotional, ok? [tweet]

On the 18th around 3:30 PM [UK time], Harry also posted some song lyrics: “Dancing in the Moonlight" by Thin Lizzy. [tweet]

And just 3 hours later, Louis tweeted "I love Hannah.” [tweet] These two aren’t necessarily related, but interesting to note.

X Factor House From what I can tell, it is most likely that they moved into the X Factor house on Monday the 20th. Liam and Stan both mentioned going to London that day (here [Stan has set the post to private] and here) and everyone stopped tweeting so much, probably busy filming promo for the show and getting settled and rehearsals. 

Jay took this picture and tweeted it to one of the first fan accounts on the 24th, which appears to be the boys in London:

Move in day probably being the 20th makes the tweets on the 27th interesting. The boot camp results show was aired the night of the 26th, meaning the world knew Louis, Harry, Niall, Zayn and Liam were in a group together and going to Judge’s Houses. So 12 hours after the cat is out of the bag, Louis and Harry tweet each other and talk about how happy they are to be together and how happy they make each other. DO YOU SEE WHY THIS MAKES ME EMOTIONAL? None of the other boys did this. 

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

September 2010:

5: Stan posts on Facebook “Free hot pizza cos Louis is famous!!!” [link not working, Stan has set the post to private]

5: Metro posts article “Liam Payne Second Favorite” to win the X Factor [no link was inserted, replacement source could not be found]

8: MTV UK posts an article saying Liam and Cher Lloyd hooked up at boot camp (lolololol) and Liam denies via twitter [link to source no longer available]

9: Harry posts song lyrics: "When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change, cause you’re amazing…just the way you are :)“ [tweet]

11: Express and Star posts article saying Liam is 6:1 favorite to win the X Factor (source)

12: Niall tweets Louis "ari buddie..giv me a ring..” (tweet)

12: [Harry tweets:]"Ooh These times are hard,and they’re making us crazy..Don’t give up on me Baby .xx" (tweet) 

13: Louis tweets Niall “@niallofficial iPhone!!!!” - He was trying to sell his Android at the time, so I think this means he bought an iPhone. (tweet)

13: Harry tweets at 5:30 PM “I lost all my Vanity, When I peered into the Pool..I lost all my Innocence,when I feel lin love with you .xx” This is a song called “Hannah” by Ray LaMontagne. (tweet)

13: Niall tweets Louis about 3 hours later at 9 PM "@louis_tomlinson louis ring me.. Harry told me something tday that u told him.. TALK T ME" (tweet)

18: Harry tweets at 3:30 PM [UK time] “Well I passed you in the doorway,and you took me with a glance..i should have got the last bus home, but I asked you for a dance ;) .xx”. This is a song called “Dancing in the Moonlight by Thin Lizzy. (tweet)

18: At 6:30 PM [UK time], Louis tweets "I love Hannah.” (tweet)

19: Stan posts on Facebook “London tomorrow to meet some celebs.” [link not working, Stan has set the post to private]

20: Liam tweets “Down in London. Can’t tweet too much but thanks for your ongoing support. X” (tweet) 

24: Jay tweets one of the first fan accounts at about 7:45 PM [UK time] a picture of the boys together in London (twitpic)

26: Jay tweets “Go 'One Direction!’” (tweet)

27: Louis tweets at 11:30 AM [UK time]  “@1DirectionXF is not the official twitter , we do have an official twitter but havent started promoting it yet .” (tweet)

27: Louis tweets at noon  “@_whytheface I’m sat next to him right now ! X” responding to a fan asking Louis how to get Harry to follow her…Louis doesn’t answer the question. Just announces he’s with Harry. (tweet)

27: Louis immediately tweets again  “Is sat with @harry_styles happy days :)” – LOUIS’ FIRST TWEET TO HARRY (tweet) 

27: Louis starts answering tweets in terms of “we.” “@SophiexNicholls We are both great thanks :) how are you ?x” (tweet) 

27: Louis announces again he’s with Harry at 12:10 PM.  “I’m bacckk :) with @Harry_styles again :)” (tweet) 

27: At 12:30 PM, Louis tweets.  “@xPeaceLoveJonas Me and @Harry_Styles loves your support ! ” (tweet) 

27: At 12:43 PM, Louis tweets.  “@meeeshell_x we’re great thank you how are you ? X” (tweet) 

27: Stan tweets Louis jokingly asking  “@louis_tomlinson so are you pleased to have Simon as your mentor? Bet judge’s houses is gonna be great.. When do you go?” (tweet) 

27: At 12:49 PM, Harry tweets.  “Is laughing so bad with @ Louis_Tomlinson :) .xx” HARRY’S FIRST TWEET TO LOUIS (tweet) 

27: At 1:06 PM, Louis tweets their first twitcam.  "http://twitcam.com/26a4v - Enjoy guys me and harry :)“ (tweet) 

27: At 1:16 PM, Jay tweets Louis about the twitcam.  "You guys are good x” (tweet) 

27: Fittingly, Harry tweets around 1:30 PM in response to whether he has a girlfriend “@SBKavanagh erm..no I don’t :P .x” (tweet) 

27: At 6PM, Hannah tweets a fan and says the group name is “1Direction” [Hannah's twitter account is gone, so the tweet is unavailable]

Harry and Louis Recap:

July 18: They notice each other in the stairwell.

July 21: They meet in the bathroom at X-Factor.

[Louis is also wearing a t-shirt with a BUTTERFLY and a BEE AAAA]

July 22: They get put into a group together.

Late August (5 weeks after boot camp): Judge’s Houses

September 13 (about 7 weeks since boot camp): Harry tells Niall Louis told him something and it sounds like a big deal. [tweet]

Late September (About 8 - 10 weeks after boot camp): If we take Harry’s comment a year later literally:

So there you have it. Fairy tale rom-com levels of teenage love affair."

September 2010: Let's talk about it.

September 2010 is a lovely, ambiguous time. The boys had all met at boot camp, been put into a group, spent 2 weeks at the bungalow and then went to judge’s houses where they were put through to the live shows.

Fame was knocking at the front door.

But Harry was still working shifts at the bakery. And they were still tweeting their plans to each other and trying to sell cell phones via Twitter (Louis, what even). 

They were asked about this time period (sort of) in a radio interview they did in New Zealand recently and it made me a little more curious about what we can learn about that time period from tweets. 

This is a little more incomplete than my bigger timelines (linked in the sidebar on my blog). There obviously wasn’t as much press, tweets and fan tweets and pictures to go on. But I think I dug up some moderately cool stuff.

Before we begin, all my love and gratitude to genderblinditem who has painstakingly been cataloging old tweets and has been awesome enough to share with me. Go follow her. She’s great and has smart things to say, so it’s a win-win.

(With my theme, the read more isn’t showing up. So if you are viewing this on my blog, please click the date stamp at the top of the post to view it in it’s entirety).

Onward!

Keep reading

[yuri-is-online]

Now I wanna know how Grim ranks the second years. Also I'm in pain from wisdom teeth removal

oh dear I have heard that really hurts, I hope you are ok!

The Great Grim's OFFICIAL Tier List: Take 2 (do not steal)

Riddle- 3/10. Grim likes Riddle a lot, but not in a "hench human should date him" sort of way. If Grim had the ability to understand dating beyond thinking it's cringe he would tell you he is concerned about how Riddle handles conflict and what that would mean for your relationship. He wants you to be with someone who will give you space to relax, and Rampaging Riddle isn't the best at that. Unfortunately, Grim isn't that articulate so he just says he thinks he's too short.

Ruggie- 6.5/10. Ruggie isn't someone Grim hates exactly? Sure you dating someone rich would be nice because then he could get better tuna, but the rich guys on this campus are kind of scary... the real problem with Ruggie is that he expects Grim to do his share of the work. And he isn't shy about how cute he thinks Grim's insistence that he is the one in charge, that stupid laugh will start haunting his dreams. At least the cooking is worth it.

Azul- 7/10. Grim knows he shouldn't trust Azul but he does sort of... look he likes what the sleazy Tako is selling alright? And once that sell starts turning towards a romantic relationship with you he will absolutely be a little shit trying to wing man for him with you. It's sort of pathetic watching how they interact, both of them are convinced they are outsmarting the other but really the only person who is winning here is you.

Jade- I am so happy for your ugly ass boyfriend/10. Grim would be very happy if Jade tripped and fell into a ditch somewhere. Unfortunately Jade is an eel so he would probably just swim out of it right back into your arms and fake cry about it. If he wasn't so scary he'd be a 0.

Floyd- 9/10. Grim and Floyd sort of get along? Or at least I think so, Floyd likes Grim and likes hanging out with him and Yuu. He's the most likely out of the octotrio to actually bribe Grim without some sort of trick or gimmick because he finds it funny to see just how many things the baby seal will eat. He misses a point because Grim doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of being perfect but that's ok, Floyd knows the truth c: (he's delulu)

Kalim- 9.5/10. Grim thinks Kalim is kind of stupid and keeps trying to feed him crackers, so he is a half point away from perfect but! Kalim has no problems spoiling Grim which is good enough for him. Most of the time, if he didn't have money Grim would have so many questions.

Jamil- 20/10. Jamil is cringey but he can cook. I think Grim probably would be happiest in the long run with the more "normal" guys and Jamil would probably end up being his favorite. He gets to eat good food, and while Jamil would still want him to work... work isn't something Jamil wants to govern his entire life so Grimmy would be very happy with Yuu's choice.

Silver- meh/10. I don't think Grim understands the appeal of someone like Silver tbh. If anything I think his blunt kuudere swagger scares the hoes, which includes Grim. Sure, Silver is pretty, but he also says some pretty fucking dumb things that make Grim wonder if he needs to be the smart one. Normally he'd love that but ah. He is starting to feel rather unqualified all of a sudden for some reason, are you sure you like this guy? What standard is he meeting exactly and can you maybe reconsider...

[locuas642]

Dandadan and the Roof

(CW, mentions of suicide)

Okay so, I have seen people commenting on how Dandadan Episode 7 (A Kinder world) changed the scene to make it a lot more subtle that Acro Silky commited suicide by jumping off a rooftop. Particularly talking about how this might have left anime-onlies confused or did not quite fit how it looks in the manga, where it is a lot more clear.

First of all, I tihnk it's important to acknowledge the obvious. And other people are in agreement that, first of all, it just wasn't gonna happen that japanese TV censors would allow Science Saru to make it explicit she had commited suicide. This is not even a Japan thing, all countries have guidelines or a general rule for what is and isn't ok to show on television. The US has them and they have guidelines about how to portray suicide.

this is because there are things that are fine to show in one medium, but which would be controversial to show on another. For example, in the book Alive, which chronicles the rugbier team that crashed in Los Andes, there is a particularly haunting part of the book that goes into detail how the survivors were forced to commit cannibalism in order to survive, the most famous part of the real event. It's haunting, nauseating, horrifying and what real people were forced to do for them to survive and which the book chronicles not for shock value but to tell an accurate picture of what the survivors went through.

it's also something that no movie could actually explore in as much detail without having to be cursed with carrying the highest of ratings. And the truth is, there are things that are easier to swallow, to experience, to process, by reading about it than in watching a movie.

that is to say, what is OK for Manga to show (and this can vary depending of the magazine) may also happen to be very hard or even impossible to get the approval to show in an anime or live-action. and it's important to acknowledge this fact before going any further: for Science Saru to acomplish the hard task of keeping the scene but leaving it ambiguous enough to please the censors? that is something to be praised. And I talked with someone and we both agree, I suspect Science Saru might have, at some point, seriously considered changing it to her bleeding out on the street, given the focus we got on the blood, which was non-existent in the original scene.

With that said. I also think this is the version of the scene that best takes advantage of the strenghts of it's medium of animation.

I am of the opinion that any anime adaptation that tries to do a 1:1 copy of the manga, to recreate panels exactly or which keeps every single narration box is a bad adaptation. This is because they become slow, scenes become awkward and characters become weirdly static in a way they aren't in the manga.

But manga (and comics in general) is the art of telling a story through static images, while animation is the art of telling a story through movement. it's to use motion and music to create a feeling in the same way manga creates striking images to convey a specific feeling.

And that's what Dandadan did. it used motion, movement, music, it's ability to give life to images, to make this family of two feel more alive. they extended their scenes, because Animation allows them to show more and drive it home how alive they were.

And by this same token, they extended the scene in the rooftop to create this dreamlike sequence that leaves the unaware viewer trying to guess what is going on, to try to process the scene and understand it. to dare them to understand it and guess what happened. Using it's limited time as a strenght by finishing it and leaving the audience to think the answer for themselves.

And in all honesty? it's fine if people don't immediatly guess what happened, that they have to re-watch and and process it and think and feel. Or even be told. It is not a failing of the episode, but an invitation for the viewer to try to understand it, to grasp it's meaning.

It's what makes it richer than just trying to be 1:1.

[olderthannetfic]

Ok, LONG story and a rant. ESL

I have a "friend" who recently got on the topic of disabled children, including severely disabled, mentally and physically children, and how people having an abortion just because of it are bad people. She's not pro-life, but her opinion is if you want a child you need to "accept what you get." She has even spoken about how she'd never even consider an abortion if she had a disabled child, and that she'd be a great mom. Blah blah blah.

Starting off, we went to school in the same class until high school. Her entire life she was terrified of people with disabilities, especially developmental. One time in 8-9th grade she started scream crying because our teacher's son with down syndrome had to join class for 2 hours because of the teacher's schedule. In 3rd grade she thought needing glasses was infectious and always ran away from the two kids in class with glasses.She's had some of the weirdest reactions to people with autism, ADHD, and similar diagnosis.

Yet she's here proclaiming how good of a mother she'd be to a disabled child, as a key argument why people screening for disabilities are bad.

Here's my position, as someone who started studying in a field focusing on working with disabled people in all stages of ability and disability, her sentiment is incredibly stupid to me. If you know the fetus will become an incredibly disabled child, it's not a kindness to have it, you're not mother Mary for giving birth to a child that'll never be able to live independently in this world. I've experienced some of the most unpleasant sides of this, and I don't mean helping clean people after the toilet, or showering. I've been inappropriately groped, touched, and kissed by more people than I can count. Some of them understand it's wrong when I tell them a firm no, some get huffy and angry, some get violent. That's just the surface problems I've dealth with. It's difficult, and painful, and to me it's just a job I can step away from at the end of the day, especially since I'll be able to find work in other medical fields when I've completed my studies.

Yes these are people who deserve all the kindness in the world. But I won't lie, the quality of life for someone who's only way of communicating is crying and hitting people is not a kind life. They don't get to live lives where they can just go on vacation, and see new places on their own. They can't start a normal job. They can't start a family. Half the people I work with haven't seen their relatives in years, or are only visited for an hour or two every week. They see people having relationships and having relations in movies, and with their caretakers of family, but they can never have that. Most of the ones who've tried to touch me, or claimed I'm their wife, or girlfriend did it because that's what they see but don't understand what it actually means. I've dealt with disabled people who were victims of extreme abuse not just from family and strangers, but also people in my work field, who're traumatized but don't have the ability to work through properly because it's already difficult for them to just getting through their days. They have their happy moments, but most of all of this happens in an incredibly small social circle, with strict routines, where only other disabled people exist, and they don't even get the chance to be part of "normal" society. We workers are literally trained to "deal" with these people, sure we're also there for socializing, but most of us are also literally just a resource, we're not a friend, or a family member, we're workers.

Some of the places I've been at are more like a 24/7 kindergarten, with a huge lack of funding and manpower. You won't believe how many times we've struggles trying to help people during extreme and violent meltdowns, all because we're understaffed. The job also lacks male workers, which means it's harder to help with any male patients who voice feeling uncomfortable being helped by women. Do you know how incredibly painful it is to see the shame on someone's face who's more abled to voice this discomfort, but still not able to care for himself and needs help with, to us, basic things such as putting on clothes, or taking showers?

People like this "friend" annoy me, because they idealize the idea of having a heavily developmentally disabled child. They see people with more "mild" cases, or self-sufficient disabled people, but ignore everyone living in cramped disabled "communes" or under poverty and high levels of abuse.

--

Children, animals, causes: a lot of people romanticize the idea of taking on more than you can handle. It's not romantic. It's just irresponsible.

[bibliophilesince2003]

The Bad Batch

Here's a little theory for you to mull over; I sincerely wonder whether I am alone in thinking this. I could also be heavily exhausted over and influenced by the papers I had to polish off for some of my college courses, or perhaps motivated by the fact that I am re-watching The Bad Batch because most modern shows these days, in my opinion, disappoint. At any rate, here it is.

Why do we like the Bad Batch so much? What makes them relatable and/or realistic?

Upon meeting Omega, most of the Bad Batch behave in a very dad-like manner. This is not surprising, no. Plenty of memes and incorrect quotes have stemmed from this simple observation. They don't have all the answers and they don't know what to do with Omega half the time. That's the thing about dads... usually, they're just "winging it" and trying to do their best. Moms come with a built-in instinct to nurture. Dads come with a built-in instinct to protect and lead. Sometimes, dads aren't quite sure what to do with a crying infant or a struggling teenager.

Let's not forget... Hunter and the others are soldiers. That isn't to say they can't be kind or gentle; even the toughest men have their weak points. As a military brat, though, I have noticed that such a profession can mold a man, and at times they forget to "turn off" their seriousness when at home after having dealt with extremely hard situations. I really appreciate that the producers of this show didn't change Hunter and the others just to make them more approachable from Omega's standpoint. If they do change, it's gradual.

Do Hunter and the others think about the consequences of bringing Omega into their lives? *eyeballs toothpick man* With exceptions, of course. Well, until season three. The answer? Absolutely not. They believe they have the strength and ability to keep her safe, as most dads would. They believe they will always have that strength and ability. Let me break it down for you and give you a look into the brain of a dad:

Dad: *involved in a dangerous situation*

Dad: I can do that.

Dad: *remembers their child is with them*

Dad: Oh. Well, I guess becomes a life lesson. I've got you, kid. Just... don't tell your mom.

Dad: *keeps an eye out for anything suspicious*

Kid: *perfectly content*

I've heard it said that dads don't say "I love you" but show they love you. I personally have experienced both, but given the seriousness of most dads... I can see how that would be the case. At the very least, their actions speak louder than words. The Bad Batch are very much this way towards Omega. They put their lives on the line. They want to make her happy. Wrecker assembles a spot for Omega to call her own on the Marauder. Tech grabs her before an explosion can reach them. Echo has hugged Omega the most. Hunter is usually within three feet of Omega at all times.

The subtle gestures of kindness captivated all our hearts, I know.

Why?

It's Star Wars, a fictional universe. It's not complete fiction, though. Hunter and the others represent a specific kind of love. Fathers may be cautious and unsure at first, but eventually they want the kid by their side for everything. We've all seen the videos of dads using infants as pretend machine guns or making them dance, the kid's neck rolling lazily. Gently, of course. If they can't protect the kid from everything, they use themselves as a shield, which extends to good mothers, too, though that's not what this post is about.

Hunter and the others may be soldiers, but they embody the very spirit of fatherhood. This was such a wonderful theme to see develop despite the grittiness and action.

Phew, I feel like there was more I wanted to say, but I'm tired, so you're spared from more rambling.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Comprehensive Religion in the Wizarding World Post

I talked before about how I think wizards in the UK are mostly Christians of varying denominations (here and here) and how they likely have their own Anglican magical church with their own saints. What I want to do in this post is outline all the evidence from the books I gathered regarding their Christianity and their traditions to get an idea of what religion is to the average wizard in the UK. (Obviously, I expect there are differences between Ireland, North Ireland, Scotland, and different areas of England as irl different locations practice different Christian denominations. Likewise, minority religions exist as they do irl, like Anthony Goldstein who is most likely Jewish).

Some canonically Christian characters:

We know McGonagall is a Scottish Presbyterian:

Minerva McGonagall was the first child, and only daughter, of a Scottish Presbyterian minister and a Hogwarts-educated witch. She grew up in the Highlands of Scotland, and only gradually became aware that there was something strange, both about her own abilities, and her parents’ marriage.

(From Pottermore)

And we similarly see that throughout history we had other British or Irish Christian wizards in the books:

Like the Fat Friar, who is, as his name suggests — a friar, and ghost nuns Harry mentions:

They passed a group of gloomy nuns, a ragged man wearing chains, and the Fat Friar, a cheerful Hufflepuff ghost, who was talking to a knight with an arrow sticking out of his forehead

(CoS)

Traditions:

But I want more evidence regarding the main characters, about whether Harry is Christian for example. The answer to that is a resounding yes.

I already mentioned in a past post how they celebrate Christmas and how their ceremonies for weddings and funerals look like a Christian ceremony with some added magical flare, but I wanted to look at other traditions:

Holidays:

They sing Christmas carols:

Everybody else spent the following morning putting up Christmas decorations. Harry could not remember Sirius ever being in such a good mood; he was actually singing carols, apparently delighted that he was to have company over Christmas.

(OotP)

One of which actually mentions god, being: "God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs".

They give gifts on Christmas, have Christmas trees, etc.

It's also made clear pureblood wizards celebrate Christmas at home:

“I do feel so sorry,” said Draco Malfoy, one Potions class, “for all those people who have to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas because they’re not wanted at home.”

(PS)

Additionally, the spring break at Hogwarts is referred to as an Easter Holidays:

“Ah, you’re worrying about the reaction of your aunt and uncle?” said Fudge. “Well, I won’t deny that they are extremely angry, Harry, but they are prepared to take you back next summer as long as you stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas and Easter holidays.”

(PoA)

And we know they celebrate Easter as Mrs. Weasley sends them Easter chocolate eggs:

Percy’s letter was enclosed in a package of Easter eggs that Mrs. Weasley had sent. Both Harry’s and Ron’s were the size of dragon eggs and full of homemade toffee. Hermione’s, however, was smaller than a chicken egg. Her face fell when she saw it.

(GoF)

Use terms like god and hell:

And as I mentioned in the past, pureblood wizards often mention god and hell, even purebloods like Draco.

“God, this place is going to the dogs,” said Malfoy loudly.

(PoA)

Or Amos Diggory:

“Made one hell of a noise and fired rubbish everywhere, as far as I can tell,” said Mr. Diggory.

(GoF)

Godparents and Infant Baptisms:

As I mentioned in the past, godparents seem to have a legal status in the wizarding world:

“Yes . . . ,” said Black. “But I’m also — I don’t know if anyone ever told you — I’m your godfather.” “Yeah, I knew that,” said Harry. “Well . . . your parents appointed me your guardian,” said Black stiffly. “If anything happened to them . . .”

(PoA)

Sirius seems to explain to Harry that being a godparent in the wizarding world means more, and that he is his legal guardian as well after Harry doesn't understand it on his own. At least this is how I always read it.

Now, godparents are witnesses to a child's baptism, which is a common wizarding occasion in the UK, at least:

By and large, wizard clothing has remained outside of fashion, although small alterations have been made to such garments as dress robes. Standard wizard clothing comprises plain robes, worn with or without the traditional pointed hat, and will always be worn on such formal occasions as christenings, weddings and funerals. Women’s dresses tend to be long. Wizard clothing might be said to be frozen in time, harking back to the seventeenth century, when they went into hiding. Their nostalgic adherence to this old-fashioned form of dress may be seen as a clinging to old ways and old times; a matter of cultural pride.

(from Pottermore)

In an interview, JKR actually mentioned Harry's own christening:

Does Harry have a godmother? If so, will she make an appearance in future books? No, he doesn’t. I have thought this through. If Sirius had married… Sirius was too busy being a big rebel to get married. When Harry was born, it was at the very height of Voldemort fever last time so his christening was a very hurried, quiet affair with just Sirius, just the best friend. At that point it looked as if the Potters would have to go into hiding so obviously they could not do the big christening thing and invite lots of people. Sirius is the only one, unfortunately. I have got to be careful what I say there, haven’t I?

(Interview with JKR)

Yes, she mentions needing to be careful because she doesn't remember what she wrote oftentimes, but the intention is that Harry is Christian and was baptized as a baby with Sirius as his witness as his godfather.

Weddings:

Wizards have wedding rings:

“Harry, guess what?” said Tonks from her perch on top of the washing machine, and she wiggled her left hand at him; a ring glittered there. “You got married?” Harry yelped, looking from her to Lupin. “I’m sorry you couldn’t be there, Harry, it was very quiet.”

(DH)

Their weddings are preceded by a priest and they have the classic "I dos" in their weddings:

A great collective sigh issued from the assembled witches and wizards as Monsieur Delacour and Fleur came walking up the aisle, Fleur gliding, Monsieur Delacour bouncing and beaming. Fleur was wearing a very simple white dresses and seemed to be emitting a strong, silvery glow. [...] “Do you, William Arthur, take Fleur Isabelle. . . . ?”

(DH)

They have bridesmaids, a best man, the bride is wearing a white dress, and the bride is walked down the aisle by her father — all very familiar traditions from Christian weddings.

Funerals and Burieals:

The funerals are proceeded by the very same priest wizard who proceeded Bill and Fleur's wedding:

A little tufty-haired man in plain black robes had got to his feet and stood now in front of Dumbledore’s body. Harry could not hear what he was saying. Odd words floated back to them over the hundreds of heads. “Nobility of spirit” . . . “intellectual contribution” . . . “greatness of heart” . . . It did not mean very much.

(HBP)

Both James & Lily's and Kendra & Ariana's graves had bible quotes on them, again outright stating wizards in the UK are predominantly Christian and not pagan or wiccan like some fans like to believe:

She pointed to the dark stone. Harry stooped down and saw, upon the frozen lichen-spotted granite, the words KENDRA DUMBLEDORE and, a short way below her dates of birth and death, AND HER DAUGHTER ARIANA. There was also a quotation: Where you treasure is, there will your heart be also.

(DH) Quote from Matthew 6:21.

The headstone was only two rooms behind Kendra and Ariana’s. It was made of white marble, just like Dumbledore’s tomb, and this made it easy to read, as it seemed to shine in the dark. Harry did not need to kneel or even approach very close to it to make out the words engraved upon it. JAMES POTTER LILY POTTER BORN 27 MARCH 1960 BORN 30 JANUARY 1960 DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981 DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981 The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

(DH) Quote from 1 Corinthians 15:26

Both these graves along with the graves of many other wizards (like Ignotus Peverell) are located in the graveyard behind the Christian Church in Godric's Hallow:

There was a kissing gate at the entrance to the graveyard. Hermione pushed it open as quietly as possible and they edged through it. On either side of the slippery path to the church doors, the snow lay deep and untouched. They moved off through the snow, carving deep trenches behind them as they walked around the building, keeping to the shadows beneath the brilliant windows. Behind the church row upon row of snowy tombstones protruded from a blanket of pale blue that was flecked with dazzling red, gold, and green wherever the reflections from the stained glass hit the snow. Keeping his hand closed tightly on the wand in his jacket pocket. Harry moved toward the nearest grave. “Look at this, it’s an Abbott, could be some long-lost relation of Hannah’s!” “Keep your voice down.” Hermione begged him.

(DH)

Non-Christians won't be buried in a Christian graveyard behind the church.

When Harry buries Mad-Eye's eye he draws a cross to mark his grave:

Early next morning, before the other two were awake, Harry left the tent to search the woods around them for the oldest, most gnarled, and resilient—looking tree he could find. There in its shadow he buried Mad-Eye Moody’s eye and marked the spot by gouging a small cross in the bark with his wand.

(DH)

Saints:

As I mentioned in the past, they have unique magical saints like:

Saint Catchpole - of Ottery St Catchpole.

Saint Mungo Bonham - of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.

Additionally, Hedwig, an historical witch Harry named his owl after:

He had decided to call her Hedwig, a name he had found in A History of Magic.

(PS)

Is very possibly a real canon Saint Hedwig or another magical saint of the same name.

Conclusions:

With all of this clear evidence that the characters in the series and the British wizarding world as a whole are predominantly Christian, including the blood supremacists purebloods, I don't really understand some fans' insistence on portraying them as pagan or wiccan or anti-curch. I mean, they don't seem to be regular church-goers and most are probably Anglican/another variant of Protestant which means they aren't under the Vatican and the pope, but they are still clearly Christian.

Like, I'd understand it if it was treated as fanon, but too often I seem to see wizards being non-Christian mentioned in canon-adjacent meta or when talking about canon and that's just not the case and it kinda annoys me. Especially when the Christianization of the wizarding world is blamed on muggleborns as an excuse for blood purity. Blood purity does not have a just reason behind it and the British wizarding world was Christian for centuries. Probably since Britain was Christian. and I'm sure their religion was affected by the reformation and such, but they were Christian before the Statute of Secrecy and after it, and it has nothing to do with muggleborns. Muggleborns aren't erasing wizarding traditions, changing wizard religion, or replacing purebloods in the workforce — it just doesn't have any evidence for it in the books. Blood supremacy, like irl bigotry and hate, has no good reason behind it.

Hell, I don't really care what their religion is and if they were pagan I would've written about it plenty, but they aren't pagan and it annoys me that this section of canon is ignored sometimes because I feel it's an integral part of the wizarding world we see in the books. Especially when it is ignored for the sake of giving blood purists an excuse for their anti-muggleborn beliefs.

Sorry for the half-rant at the end, but this is something I see plenty in fanon, and like, fine, that's fanon, do whatever, write whatever, headcanon whatever, I'm not a cop, I don't care, but recently I saw it talked about in supposedly canon meta, and that really annoyed me.

[brittle-doughie]

Hey howdy hello again! Wrote the one thing with reader cookie stabbing Burning Spice with a dagger despite having their leg broken off. I’m back about the beast ancients au I was talking about in the first part of that ask, since you didn’t say anything about it, I just assumed you didn’t want to hear about it. No worries, I don’t mind!

Anyways I’ve had a hell of a time hammering out the specifics of what’s going on, as it turns out planning a war is a huge pain in the ass. But I’ll just toss you the more interesting bits and get out of your hair.

For context, the main cookie this all revolves around, Star Heart Cookie, created a barrier to protect her/their kingdom. The caveat to it being that so long as you genuinely don’t want to kill the cookies within the barrier, you can walk in and out whenever you want

(For the sake of this ask, Star Heart is the reader insert and is thus getting they/them pronouns, there’s a different set of cookies meant to be the reader inserts but I haven’t gotten there yet so :p)

So, where to start I suppose.. probably Vanilla. True Vanilla Cookie specifically

Yeah bro is trying to pacifist ending Shadow Milk, and SM is just kind of offended? Bc Vanilla ascended to become the Beast of Totality, and is essentially trying to become the holder of Knowledge without getting the other soul jam. This has, predictably, really messed him up. But he still makes it a point to go on weekly picnics to see Star Heart. (The fact that he doesn’t know whats weakened them so much is driving him insane)

One of the other beasts who can pass through the barrier, Mythril Lily Cookie, also shows up to ensure that Star Hearts barrier holds. Though she is a little very concerned about the fact that no matter what, Star Heart never seems to be getting any better. When she isn’t having picnics or trying to dodge True Vanilla’s game of 20,000 questions, she’s usually coordinating an attack on one of the beasts. Usually whichever one happens to be closest to wherever Dark Enchantress is or is planning to use at the time.

Frostbite Cacao is currently trying to plunge all of earthbead into an ice age so that his friends will gain the same resolve that he has. Well, it’s more like so he can usurp their kingdoms bc he thinks they don’t run them very well, but who’s asking? Side note; he’d also actually be allowed through the barrier if it weren’t for the fact that Dark Choco lives within Star Hearts kingdom. He’s also mega paranoid about the fact that Mystic Flour isn’t attacking him anymore. (We’ll get to her don’t worry)

Toxiberry (still not sure about the name) is having a depression due to lore reasons. But due to the power of being a raging alcoholic, you can’t even tell :DDDD Nah but seriously, she and her army are constantly on the move since she knows Lily is looking for her. She’s also hoping that it lures Pitaya Dragon back so she can try and get them to on her side to hopefully gain the upper hand on Eternal Sugar, who has even more beef with her then usual, again, due to lore reasons (I wasn’t actually kidding about the depression thing btw, that’s definitely there)

Gilded Cheese (has very upsetting reasons why she’s called that) is currently trying to revitalize the desert with her new waterbending abilities :)))) you do not want to know what happened to give her that power, I promise. On the bright side, she can also electrocute things now, so that’s neat. She’s generally the closest to her normal self here if I’m honest. Though she’s spending most of her time bringing water to the desert (very suspicious water) and trying to weedwhack the hell out of Vanilla’s creepy orchids that keep spreading. She would also be allowed through the barrier, but only by technicality, since she’s only trying to kidnap Star Heart to use their power to enhance the soulcheese. (And Smoked Cheese is hoping to use them to usurp Gilded but yk shhh)

Onto the og beasts, none of which are allowed through the barrier, for obvious reasons.

Shadow Milk is very busy pretending like he’s not bothered with what’s going on. He’s free now! Why should he care what the others are up to? (He cares immensely) He’s honestly very concerned with how far True Vanilla is getting with his plans, and is pivoting to something else since he knows his usual tactics won’t work. Which ends up in him sending party after party of warriors to ascend the vines up to the Vanilla kingdom in order to break Vanillas focus to stall for time as Shadow figures out a more permanent solution. At least he’s found a new way to infuriate him, by simply saying nothing at all.

Mystic Flour is in the middle of her own plan, which is to use Cacao’s paranoia against him. So currently she’s waiting at the top of her mountain pagoda for him to inevitably break and go after her. She’s also sent Cloud Haetae Cookie to scout out a new meditation spot closer to the Dark Cacao kingdom to better keep watch on it. And definitely not because Star Hearts kingdom is literally right next door, not that at all, nope, not even a little.

Eternal Sugar is completely incensed and is personally hunting down Holly to the ends of earthbread for the sheer audacity of… the lore reasons (I promise it’ll at least be interesting) Or at least she would be, but most of the time Eternal Sugar looses them (literally how it’s an entire army?) and decides to fall asleep until she senses her other piece nearby again, and then she’s off like a bat out of hell.

Burning Spice, is behaving irrationally, even for his standards, which is saying something. Specifically speaking, he’s… well he’s waiting on the barrier, hasn’t really moved since the Beast War ended. The only thing that does get him to move away is whenever Gilded Cheese is anywhere nearby. He knows she’s gonna keep trying to get in, so he just waits. What he’s waiting for? Star Heart, and their very special ability that they use every single time cookies attempt to go for the barrier. From within the barrier, Star Heart can actually see him waiting for them since their tower is the highest point in the kingdom. That, and that point in the roof is the only clear spot in the barrier, everything else is stained red due to the permanent spice storm that surrounds the place.

And Silent Salt, who isn’t actually on the continent right now. During the Beast War, he spotted something leaving and decided to follow it on the hunch that if he didn’t, things would get a lot worse. Unfortunately, as the one he was following ended up being Longan Dragon, he isn’t going to be able to prevent him from starting shit.

Alrighty then, that’s that, thank you for your time and all of the lovely writing

-ephemeralcryptid

Now that was quite the read.

[hypernova-writes]

i beg for anything demoman related

🤲 just a crumb of the drunk scottish man plz

A/n: of course of course!! Have some headcanons with him!! :)

General Dating Headcanons with Demoman!

First off, I wanna say that Demo HAS to have a hand on you no matter where you are. He ALWAYS has to be touching you.

Mostly to remind himself that you're actually here and not some figment of his drunken imagination.

Loves when you give him head rubs, he loves that! He'd plop in your lap after a busy and stressful day and just lay there.

Also! I headcanon that he has longer afro like hair, so he would DEFINITELY teach you how to braid or twist, he just loves feeling your hands in his hair.

Definitely wants children eventually, He's surprisingly well with children and wants to give them a life that he did have. Would definitely be the dad to be dressed in full tutu and crown with his little girl-.

"Tavish have you seen—" You walk in and see him dressed in a tutu with fairy wings, your daughter pouring him juice in a teacup.

"Oh, Lass~! Come and join! Yer just in time for tea!"

He's a little self conscious because he only has one eye, but when you tell him that doesn't matter, he'll perk up. Especially if you tease him about how it doesn't affect any of his..."other" abilities.

Speaking of which, He's more of a lazy dom, but can definitely be a hard dom if pushed enough. Huge power bottom, loves letting you think you have control before absolutely wrecking your shit.

"Hmm? What was that lass?..can't hear ye over how much of a slut yer being?~"

Teasing, teasing! He'll brag about how speechless he's leaving you. But perfect way to get him back is head, he becomes a sputtering mess once you go down on him.

[cherrys-side-bitch]

ℝ𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤

gn! reader, fluff

Note: I did headcanons for Nanami awhile ago but I was rereading them and… it was bad.

Unless you'd known Nanami for years, you likely never would've thought that he reciprocated your feelings. Not only was he constantly busy with work, but his reserved and stoic nature wasn't doing any favors either.

He likely didn't realize until someone pointed out how he treats you slightly differently than others, the way his eyes softened whenever he saw you, and how he would often scold you. However, unlike with most, it wasn't out of annoyance but seemingly genuine concern for your well-being.

As the two of you began dating, it became progressively easier to read him, to the point where you could tell how he felt just from a glance. This was good for a few reasons, the most important of which is that he's very reserved most of the time. Being able to read him makes not only your life but also his a lot easier.

This man is the definition of a morning person. Long before you've gotten up, he's already finished preparing for the day. By the time you've woken up, he's already started making breakfast.

Nanami loves back hugs, both giving and receiving.

Nothing beats the feeling he gets when you sneak up behind him to wrap your arms around his waist while he's cooking breakfast. It doesn't matter if you're taller or shorter than him; there's no better way he could think to start his morning.

Also loves when you bury your face in his chest. Your muffled but tired groan as you as you plant your face in his muscular chest after a long day never ceases to bring a smile to his face.

Whenever you're having problems with something, Nanami always gives the best advice and encouragement to help you resolve the issue.

He's not one for PDA, especially if you two are at work; Nanami prefers to keep things professional. The most he'll do is give you a quick peck on your forehead if you two are in public, but even thatʼs rare.

Whenever you go on a mission he is insistent that someone joins you, regardless of what grade sorcerer you are. It's not as if he doubts your abilities, he would never. Nanami is very protective of you and would never forgive himself if he failed to keep you safe.

If you were to get hurt in a mission, he may quietly scold you before rushing you to Shoko. He isn't mad at you but rather at himself for not being there to protect you. During the recovery process, he is practically glued to your side, making sure you don't hurt yourself.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

[dragonshoard]

My head is STUCK on blue bird!Jinx AU with the new season coming out (if anyone remembers from WAY WAY back).

Summary for people who have no idea what tf I'm talking about: Basically, Powder dies via Silco the night Vander dies. She's revived by Janna (wind spirit god who is a guardian deity of Zaun) and proceeds to spend x years getting up to international hijinks. Powder/Jinx (she goes by both) remembers nothing of her past and is spirit blessed with the ability to turn into various forms of birds.

I had a picture of her a while back but I'm probably going to be changing her outfit and hair. I'm not fond of the top I gave her anymore. Also, she has so many tattoos. So many.

I've added to the AU since I last spoke about it:

Jinx is a magical conduit - not quite a mage, or a witch, but someone who is capable of using magic without generating it herself. She gets power from the Spirit Gods and Runeterra. It is also what is keeping her alive so if she's ever drained she will die :D

Her abilities/magic is very similar to Janna's in that, naturally, she has healing, shielding, and some control of wind. To do anything else the magic would have to go through specific runes, though it costs significantly more to do so (draining her faster). Her only other natural ability is her transformation, though certain transformations drain her more (big bird, for example)

Otherwise, she still loves her pistol and ALSO has a fondness for knives and never has less than ten on her person.

Jinx has a few titles, but her main one is "Storm Priestess". She is quite literally a religious leader and is treated as such. There are rules she has to follow, and if Janna tells her to jump - she will LEAP

Her hair is much more elaborate in this AU as it's used to enhance and add to the array of runes tattooed onto her skin. It's still in two braids (typically - specific circumstances may have her wearing more), though with threads of brightly colored yarns and engraved silver/copper/iron metal running through it. I'm going to playing around with the following concepts (don't look too deeply at the colors, just the patterns/styles/accessories):

Zaun and Piltover are bordered by Noxus and Shurima, so I'm going to go ahead and assume Piltover and Zaun's first generations were largely immigrants from Noxus and Shurima (and possibly Demacia). I'm assuming Shurima had the largest population as Zaun was once part of the Shuriman empire. However, as a note, Zaun and Piltover are largely mixing pot nations due to the nature of them being port cities with vast trade systems.

In this AU, Jinx and Vi's facial features are very region typical for specific parts of Shurima. Great-grandparents were immigrants to Zaun.

Jinx has political ties to three (I'm including the Undercity here) nations: Shurima, Zaun, and Piltover. Her religious leader position grants her relatively high status/respect and a voice in all three nations; however, her connections with Silco in Zaun and Caitlyn in Piltover also give her some additional legitimacy.

Shurima is currently heavily divided and largely in ruins. However, with the rise of Azir the empire is slowly rebuilding. They were once a very prosperous and rich culture, so its implied that there will be a resurgence of that golden era. Her involvement in a certain conflict will grant her status with the empire where most followers of spirit-gods wouldn't have. There will be conflict there, but as I understand it Azir is largely seen as a benevolent dictator. I'm not 100% sure what his perspective is on spirit-gods, but I'm going to assume he isn't the ungrateful sort.

In terms of relationships...

Jinx has a very close relationship with Caitlyn. They've known each other since Jinx was about 13 and have been friends since. Caitlyn has considered adding Jinx to the family registry for both political and personal reasons. Caitlyn is a bit more familiar with Zaun in this one, as she's spent a number of years exploring Zaun pre-independence and learning the culture. Also has more political savy.

Vi is in Stillwater for at least 2 more years than in canon.

As mentioned before Viktor and her are good friends in this one but she's gonna get nervous when he starts poking at the arcane in a very unsanctioned way (and I mean her as a person, not her as a priestess - the spirit gods and spirits are quiet about his actions for now).

I'm thinking about how to integrate parts of season 2 into this AU. There will be a period of time in which Jinx will be unable to return to Zaun due to conflict in parts of Shurima, so I'm thinking that this is when the conflict between Zaun and Piltover starts to boil over. I'm thinking a situation in which Piltover and Zaun sign a formal declaration of independence but problems begin to boil over due to foreign and domestic issues. Not 100% on whether or not Caitlyn's mom dies in this one, but there is a chance of it.

I'm also not sure how much I'm going to keep to the "magic leads to destruction" angle the show is starting to go towards. Pending! Right now Jinx is very pleased with the progress of hextech and chemtech so far in the shows. Some things are subject to change as Arcane season 2 progresses :D

[be-good-be-safe-be-kind]

"it's the only way to heal"

op you are so right.

krista's involvement here seems to be overshadowed by the previous episode and overlooked by the end of the series where the krista in elliot's mind has some… interesting things to say (another point for another time), but it really is important. thank you for highlighting this.

the framing and lighting, as always, add so much to the series, even if it does not consciously register as doing so. earlier seasons and sessions with krista, pretty sure, had things centered or framed to include the background as focus (the curtains, the shadows of the room in elliot's 'cell,' etc.) and giving the viewers as well as the characters other things to focus on besides each other. here, with a blurry background and the characters in the 'margins,' the focus is on them; there is not really anything else to look at besides for elliot and krista.

elliot's desire to forget is understandable, and rather than tell him that, krista uses the opportunity to say that is an impossible ask. the memories will always be there, whether or not he can access them, and it sucks but it is the truth. even without the flashbacks and time skips, the pilot episode is full of allusions to elliot's background, even if things like flinching from ollie's touch or remaining at a distance from gideon initially registers as asocial and/or anxious.

"you will survive this, elliot" is a crucial conclusion. he has no reason to assume that to be true, especially after learning that he already made it this far in life with the knowledge of his abuse hidden from him. (arguably, they have been here before, at other points in the series and before we meet the characters in the pilot, but for now, we have elliot encountering this information for the first time and it fucking breaks him). to go back to working with mr. robot, to reconcile that this intrinsic part of himself is modeled after a father who he thought was nothing but a friend, is devastating.

mr. robot having this conversation with elliot at allsafe is another fantastic detail. yes, the office is their headquarters, their apartment is not exactly usable at the moment, but fucking allsafe. all safe. after a night following bits of his past around the city, seeing how his child self knew about and protected himself from the abuse, coming back to a dilapidated office that is all safe is… a lot, to say the least.

mr. robot acknowledging his own fear is another thing that gets overlooked; even to people without understanding of dissociative disorders and technical terms, mr. robot is clearly a protector, one who talks shit and gets shit done, without an ounce of doubt. to hear this guy repeatedly admit in this episode and the previous one that there are things he desperately needs to keep away from elliot, from himself, because living with it is too much, is a big deal. and to have him hand the keys back to elliot, instead of their back-and-forth like with the chess scenario, to give elliot the power and choice to ignore him in the aftermath of this, is monumental.

for all of elliot's planning and confidence in his technical abilities, for his meticulous compartmentalizing and pushing what he deems irrelevant to the side in order to get a job done, this is one thing he cannot ignore. and he still apologizes, even though there is no need to, because he perceives it that way. after years of research and work, trial and error, love and loss, he has to see everything through til the end, but he cannot.

"i wouldn't be me, and i wouldn't have you," besides for being a breakthrough, is a succinct summary of the series. elliot addresses mr. robot, yes, but in a way, he also addresses the 'friend' he has been keeping mostly in the loop since the start. "you're only in my head, we have to remember that" has not been forgotten, even as the voiceovers decreased in frequency and intensity as the series progressed. it also ties in to whiterose's plan and idea of using a machine to change reality rather than accept it; elliot learns to choose and accept his reality for what it is, as shitty as it is, rejecting the idea that a life dismissing the past is better than one including it.

whiterose would rather wipe the slate and toss it into a bin rather than accept it as a stepping stone towards her future. elliot and the rest of his system end the series with the hope of integrating their past into their future, as painful as it may be, because they understand the necessity.

Mr. Robot and Accepting Trauma Memories

In all my posts about how good Mr. Robot can be about depicting healing for those with DID, I never did highlight the last conversation Elliot has with his therapist in Season 4.

[Scene paraphrased, skipping comments about Elliot's father or the itch in the back of Elliot's head]

Upon his trauma memories returning Elliot is dissociated and barely holding it together. His therapist, who was with him for the revelation, gets him to safety (as always depicted by golden light in the show)

Krista's camera angle keeps Elliot in frame at all times while Elliot remains alone. She's reaching out and he's withdrawing. The show always uses camera angles and empty space to show isolation. All the empty space with subjects usually singled out in the 1-2 shots as a way to show their lack of connection.

Krista is on the very edge of the frame, meeting Elliot where he is. She's not trying to pull him out of his dissociation, she's just trying to reach out and offer him grounding and connection and comfort.

The thing being depicted here though is one of the most empathetic displays of trauma memories resurfacing. Elliot wants to forget again and Krista says that he never forgot.

In reality trauma memories, even the most buried ones, remain active and present within anyone suffering a dissociative disorder. The mind simply prevents access to that information as a means of self-preservation. When triggered or summoned it will activate the nervous system and create a recall response. In Elliot's case an "itch in the back of his mind"

At a cellular level, the body stores a memory of everything it has experienced. Sometimes this is evoked through touch, ranging from casual touch, to intimate touching, to massage and body-work. Sometimes a trigger can cause these body memories to break through. Sometimes the body memory just surfaces. Although there are times when a body memory coincides with an identifiable flashback, sometimes it may seem to happen ‘out of nowhere’. This can be extremely frightening and unnerving, especially if you don’t know this is what is happening. It does not mean you have ‘lost it’ or that you are crazy. Your mind is not playing a cruel trick on you, but rather is presenting you with memory or information that needs to be worked through so you can heal from the wounding you experienced. The phenomena of flashbacks and body memories can become more complex when you are not the only personality residing within your physical body— especially until you-all each have a greater sense of ‘self’ and ‘System’. If you have not yet reached a place of distinguishing between yourself and others in your System, you may have a consciousness of sensations that are the memory and/or current experience of another part. While this may seem strange or odd, it is not unheard of. Each part doing their own work, getting to know each other better, and getting strong senses of self- and System- is really what will get things to a more manageable place. - Got Parts ~ An Insiders Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder (ATW)

When it comes to handling trauma memories the option to "just forget" does not truly exist. To not think about it does not prevent the mind from reacting when the trigger is touched. The memory will summon sense memory or emotional flashback and cause symptoms.

The only path to healing is to engage with those memories and work on integrating them. No matter how hard that may seem. Because to continue pushing it away is to allow the triggers to continue activating the nervous system and let the memory literally haunt the present day.

I'm glad that Krista got to say that.

Season 4 Episode 8 is all about accepting the weight of the trauma memory.

The final moment of the episode has Mr. Robot, who was created to protect the system and is modeled to look and act like Elliot's abuser, returns to talk to Elliot about what happened. Bathed in golden light and within their base of operations "Allsafe"

Elliot flinches at the mere thought of Mr. Robot. The living memory of his father and the one who held the memories of his abuse for so long. Fearing that he has failed in his duty as Elliot's protector, Mr. Robot speaks, desperate to fix it, knowing that now the memories have resurfaced he may not be able to any longer.

"The only reason I'm here is to make sure no one ever hurts you. That was supposed to be your father's job. But he failed. He was too weak. But you? You were strong. You fought back the only way you could. You brought me here to protect you from him."

"I tried to keep you safe and only show you the memories when the two of you were friends before..." he pauses and lets the implication hang in the air, "I thought I could store the truth so you'd never have to see it or feel it. Fact is I didn't wanna see it either. I made a terrible mistake. I was afraid. Afraid of what this would do to you. To us.

"This was never my secret to keep. And you deserved better than to live in darkness for so long. I'm so sorry. I failed you, too. I understand if you can't forgive me or you decide to shut me out for good. Just as long as you know that I am not your father. I never was."

"You're nothing like him. That's why I created you. You're the father I needed. Not the father I had."

"If I could have stopped him. If I could go back in time. Change everything that happened to you and make it all go away..."

"Then I wouldn't be me." Elliot finally turns to look at Mr. Robot, "And I wouldn't have you."

Mr Robot finally protectively holds Elliot and he breaks down in sobs, unsure if he has it in him to see their hacking plan through.

In this scene Mr. Robot accepts the truth that holding those memories from Elliot caused him so much pain over the years and that it was all he knew to do as a protector but faced with the reality of him accepting the pain he understands he was wrong.

The episode also features Elliot's child alter guiding him to evidence that they did fight back against their father as a child. They locked the door to their childhood bedroom and hid the key that Edward had access to. They threw themselves out of a window to prevent him hurting either him or their sister.

They were a child and sometimes the only way to fight back is to hide or to show the abuser that you'll not accept their abuse silently.

Both Mr. Robot and Krista praise the child who received the abuse for doing all they could to fight back, even when they felt so powerless. That it was not their fault. That the abuse was something they did everything they could to try and stop.

Mr. Robot even goes in and says that he wishes he could use a time machine to undo it and Elliot, finally accepting the core themes of the show, rejects the notion outright.

"I wouldn't be me. And I wouldn't have you."

Healthy acceptance of that which is and treasuring all that has been made with his life despite the trauma.

The main villain's plan is to use what is implied to be a time machine to reject the pain of this harsh reality in search of a better one. She would see suffering and turmoil in the present to bring about a better history. She is so fixated on reclaiming the world she feels she was owed that she cannot accept the reality she finds herself in.

Elliot goes dormant after his conversation with Mr. Robot and he takes over for the big hacking plan. During the finale of the "Fsociety" portion of the plot, Elliot finally resurfaces when Whiterose promises that her plot (implied heavily to be a time machine) can bring back a loved one that was murdered earlier in the show. When confronted with the choice between pressing forward with the pain of loss or retreating into delusion and rejection of reality; Elliot chooses to resurface.

Cementing the theme and moral firmly. It is better to accept the past and integrate it into your future than to live in rejection. Even if it hurts.

It's the only way to heal.

[deoidesign]

Time and Time Again comes back tonight!

Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.

My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!

So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.

[milkweedman]

I am sorry you've been harrassed by terfs, but the way you are currently trying to weed them out seems a bit misguided. As in, the vast majority of terfs are in fact ok with big hairy CIS men. The so-called men they are actively hating are trans women/transfem people. So by acting like you proclaiming your love to big hairy dudes is the best terf-repellant you seem to be missing the point at best.

i'd love to actually respond to your concerns or whatever the hell it was that you were trying to convey with this ask, but it has almost no basis in reality so i literally cant.

thats the one statement on how effective i think the banners are that has left my queue so far. which is: i hope it works but also have literally 2 other backup plans already in case it does not. i dont know why youre calling that "acting like [me] proclaiming [my] love to big hairy dudes is the best terf-repellant", because thats wildly off target from what i have actually said at any point. everything else youve said is also pretty much either dead wrong or ignorant, so im getting the feeling that you not reading has been a problem for a while.

(ive also not mentioned terfs this entire time--ive been talking about radfems and using the word radfems. they're not the same thing although there's large overlap. so like. thats strike two for zero reading comprehension, buddy. cause you are literally not talking about the group im talking about and youre also inventing whole new sentences that i didnt say.)

[thelightfluxtastic]

#I feel like Qifrey's Fear is also shown when he tells Coco and Tetia about the ancient Romonons#and he concludes the story with how scary humans can be and how people neglect how such terrible things can happen again#While Coco is immediately like. But magic should be used to make life vibrant! 🥺! And it completely takes him by surprise

I hope it's ok to steal your tags here. Because you're so right! And also, ironically, Qifrey is the one who taught Coco that, in a way! So much of how Qifrey treats his students is about giving them more positive experiences than he had. Qifrey, as a child, would have had his memory wiped and been abandoned if not for Beldaruit. (Which, side note- no wonder he doesn't like hanging around the Grand Hall! No matter how friendly other witches might be, Qifrey has deep-seated knowledge that their whole society would abandon him if they needed to. The lesson he learns is "Brimhats will hurt you but pointed hats don't care about you either"). When Coco first comes to the atelier, she's terrified of magic, given what happened to her mother. She's worried about so much as touching a spell (such as the water globe). Qifrey makes a point of both giving her hope (the tower) and giving her positive, safe experiences with magic (the flower-petal spell). Coco's trauma doesn't go away, but Qifrey makes sure she gets to love magic, and not just be afraid of it.

That love of magic is a huge part of what Coco brings to the atelier. Her passion is what Qifrey argues to Olruggio about, and seeing her unabashed joy at his paving stone spell is what sways Olruggio. Agott loves magic, but until she starts spending more time with Coco, she had lost her connection to the pleasure and wonder of magic. I think Qifrey (even subconsciously) might be trying to recapture his own joy-of-magic by having Coco around, even though he's the one teaching her. So Qifrey teaches Coco that magic is about vibrancy and beauty and making life better for people, even though in his own spells, he's still coming from a place of feeling threatened and defensive, where other people and malicious magic are a constant danger.

This is more unrelated, but I've also been thinking about how the fear Qifrey has for losing his loved ones is actually realized in more recent chapters. Qifrey puts so much effort into protecting his apprentices. In his fight with Engendale, Coco jumps in front of him to take a shot meant for Qifrey. You could not construct a more perfect example of "loved one hurt for helping him" if you tried, and she even almost loses her eye! He manages to get Coco to the hospital, and she's eager to jump into the fray again! We really see Qifrey at his most desperate here, shouting/practically begging her to not endanger herself for him.

Of course, Qifrey is Coco's master, he is an adult and she is a child. Trying to keep her from getting hurt is his job, and this is a reasonable response. With Olruggio in chapeter 40, it's different. Qifrey's motivations are the same, but Olruggio isn't a child and he's not someone Qifrey is responsible for. He's an adult that can make his own decisions. Both of them know that Olruggio would always choose to help Qifrey. So the only way Qifrey can avert his fear of losing Olruggio is to violate Olruggio's agency/bodily autonomy and take away his ability to choose to help.

Qifrey and fear

Ok so I've made a post about how Olruggio's spells constantly come from a place of comfort, but Qifrey's still regularly come from a place of fear. We know he started to learn water magic because of his experience nearly drowning. And while Olruggio encouraged him to embrace what he feared, and he's become a specialist, it hasn't actually lessened his fear. His mastery of water spells is still aimed at not being touched by water as much as possible. And Qifrey's obsession with the brimhats and defeating them is still as sharp and fear-driven as ever. It's what Beldaruit is afraid of when he warns Coco- that in his quest to uncover or avenge his past, Qifrey will completely miss or neglect that he's already built a good life. Ironically, this is a fear Qifrey has for Agott- that she constantly is so focused on learning and advancing that she's not celebrating her achievements or enjoying magic.

When Olruggio confronts Qifrey, he's not threatening to expose him to the other witches. He directly offers to help. He makes that very explicit- he's not here to interfere with whatever plans Qifrey has for Coco. Qifrey's answer is about how terrified he is of losing all the comfort and safety he's built at the atelier. His fear has shifted from the past to the future, but it's still his core drive. He's not any less scared than he was as a child. All the good things in his life have just become things he could lose, in his mind. Things that are being threatened.

Qifrey outright states he believes Olruggio would help him, even knowing the truth. I've often seen Chapter 40 described as "Qifrey wipes Olruggio's memory to avoid being caught". But I really don't think that's what he's worried about. I think he's worried about endangering or losing Olruggio, if Olruggio were to get involved in this highly illegal secret plot to unlock his past and stop the brimhats (both Olruggio and Qifrey know very well Olruggio would help).

[fragmentedblade]

No but even beyond the heathcliffean air of his story as a kid, Nelly scene and revenge fantasies included, and even beyond the identification of the self with the craft, the entire concept of Yingxing is so good.

The glimpse we get of the relationship he has with his master has so much potential. What it says about him, what it says about everyone around them, what it says about the kid.

The fact that already as a child Yingxing was vindictive, as he will be as Blade.

His self-consciousness about being a short life species, and how he is right to be self-conscious about it. How in such a short time, being so young, he's had to deal with enormous tragedy, so that he can even as a kid look the truth in the eye and admit it. Admit that he has to work harder, longer, more obsessively, and that still nonetheless there's little chance to get ever at the level of the long life species that look down on him and take him for granted. How he is able to overcome it.

It's incredible also in the context of Dan Feng. How both struggle with their identities and how they get new ones, but in totally opposite ways. Dan Feng is weighted down by what he is and what he can do, and wants to escape that fate, and dreams of a new life in which he can be something else; and Dan Heng is born. Yingxing takes pride in that which he can do, something he wasn't born into, something he had to work very hard to achieve, and that was the path to overcome the prejudices and undermining gazes he had to bear as a short life species. He crafts his place into the Xianzhou society and becomes the legendary Furnace Master. Even on a more personal level, one could argue this is his way of maneuvering his life, of expressing himself, this is how he deals with things; like his relationship with Jing Yuan having a turning point after giving him his weapon, or how he crafted that jade flask. And then he loses his ability to create and loses himself; he becomes Blade.

The fact that even as an adult, as an exceedingly arrogant craftsman, something of the shy self-conscious kid remains is both endearing and heartbreaking as well. In some ways we still see that in Blade.

We also see echoes of that personality in Mr. Xiao, who worked under him. And that alongside his craftsmanship, his ability to fix and create auromatons even though they are vanishing in the civilian landscape, live on through Mr. Xiao. And die alongside him, for Mr. Xiao too has become but a relic of another time.

The way the other stories of craftsmen enhance facets of Yingxing's is so good too. Mainly in the story of Master Ryan and Chengjie, with the insight we get of the struggles of short life species in the Xianzhou, especially those dedicated to a craft, and how hard it is for them to reach positions of prestige. It also poses the question of how we can transcend time, if it's possible at all, and how the sharing of knowledge, the passing down of skills, the shared loved, is one of the answers. This was all already significant before, but the information gains weight with the existence of Mr. Xiao. I'd argue there's echoes of Yingxing even in Master Gongshu. His love for his automatons, his sincere fondness for them, his pride on his job, his loyalty to his position and duties, the way he is both hard and stern as well as loving with his apprentices, and how he talks about short life species.

On a sort of ontological way, it's very interesting to see how Yingxing goes from craftsman to tool or weapon, from creator to creation, from subject to object. The potential in the context of Abundance/Destruction is also extremely intriguing, I think. He who created is unmade by a curse of Abundance. He who forged weapons now follows that path of destruction. There's so much going on with Yingxing conceptually around the cycles of death and rebirth, destruction and creation; it's so fitting that now Blade is stuck in such a cycle in the most literal way.

And it's so fitting too that, in all this context, given Yingxing's entire story, Blade's entire being, that which he made unmade him. That which he created and gave him so much pride was the weapon that killed him. And now he wields it himself, his tool of revenge while he follows the path to eternal and irrevocable death.

[saintqueer]

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