#addicts will always have more to say about a loving god than your standard christian

[inkbomber]

meta narrative is my mental illness

thoughts about robotnik under the cut, as always my tumblr posts are far less polished than my fic, sorry

i'll say it: i think movie robotnik is a fundamentally different entity than game robotnik. different pasts, different paths. i think goofy, theatrical evil is fun, but it also requires a level of self-awareness in our world that it does not in a game. and i do consider movieverse to be real-world-adjacent.

every part of jimbotnik is a creature that enjoys the performance of evil more than its implimentation. and why wouldn't he? that's a character that has suffered real tragedies at the hands of cruel systems for 50 years. we've all seen what real evil in our world looks like. and it's worlds closer to whatever movieverse gerald has going on, it's callous and cruel in the pursuit of its own hateful goals.

the scu is a world that values and rewards kindness and love on an actual metaphysical level. it is a nicer world to live in than ours, even with "diabolical evil" running amuck. he doesn't evoke the same hatred in our world because we've seen worse. countless times. he's a villlain that knows he's evil, that requires a moral code to be in place. he's a guy with a 300 iq and a "tunes of anarchy" playlist, do you really think he doesn't understand the actual political implications? he's got fucking moral ocd, lmao

this isnt a guy shoving squirrels into drones to power them, this is a guy Walters—who presumably has his own morals and ideals—feels comfortable sending after terrorists in their own backyard.

there's an implication that "all civilized planets"[paraphrasing from memory] travel via ring, well why doesn't earth have that tech yet? robotnik's designs and tech outstrip tails' tech in most ways and we haven't got it.

so i don't think humans are capable of directly wielding that power. consequentially, i think that connecting to the universe in that way forces you to have a level of sympathy for others that game eggman is incapable of feeling.

i really do think movie robotnik's time as a "god" fucks his ability to be truly evil all the way up. if the [kind] universe allows you to wield that power it doesn't come without side effects or reason.

i think, and this is connected to my thoughts about chaos energy, that he was a deuteragonist even in movie 1. i think he is humanity's single home-grown chaos user. i think a world where jim carrey gets to break the fourth wall is a world that relies on narrative for power. and i think a man who is purposefully, theatrically villainous is closer to being a hero than any of our politicians ever could be.

self-image, isolation, narrative, control. storytelling as a ritual practice. characters as minor gods. love as a catalyst for change. eggman didn't have a daughter until he had sage, and now his fatherhood is fundamental. robotnik didn't have a lover until he had stone, and now he is inherently lovable.

now for the fun stuff:

jimbotnik doesn't dislike tom, or sonic, or anyone quick enough on their feet to banter with him. the look on his face when tom says "you wanna tell me why you think i'm dumb enough to let you just walk inside my house?" is one of pleased surprise. does he like being told no? obviously not. but the fact that these people don't make his life easy in a way that's fun? effervescent. he loves to monologue, and these people just keep giving him material.

he's a goofy villain who's been waiting for his protagonist to come along. he's part of a set, do not separate.

[giftofshewbread]

The Infrastructure (Good vs Evil)

 By Robert Campbell      Published on: August 8, 2021

Hello folks, I think it’s time for another article about things that concern me regarding what’s going on in America. I don’t write regularly because other writers have covered many important topics, and I don’t need to repeat them. But as I look at America, I see the face of it changing right before my eyes. It does not have that American greatness as before; the light is dimming daily. Why is that?

We are a Christian nation, or are we now? We have been weakened over the years, and now we cannot even fight back. Has the infrastructure been rebuilt so that we cannot fight back without destroying it?

I have always wanted to understand more of what the Bible meant that “good will become evil, and evil will become good.” How does that look? I can see it from afar, but how does one see it today?

There was a day when evil was hidden; it kept itself hidden so as not to alarm the people of its deception. It would not show itself, or we would fight it back. There was a time that we were ashamed to even be around those doing wrong.

Christians were the mainframe of what was right in this country and abroad. We were proud to be a part of a nation that worshiped God daily. Traveling the world helping others was part of our nature as a country. We did it, not for our glory, but for the glory of God. God blessed us with everything we needed, and we were the envy of every country on earth.

Whether they believed in God or not, our founding fathers had morals from a higher standard than themselves. From the very beginning when, yes, the white man set foot in this country, God used them to create, second to none, the best country that ever was and that ever will be.

If men today were like men of yesterday, we would be better off today as a country. But men today are weak and pathetic; they act like women, emotionally vulnerable. They have fallen prey to the women just like Adam did in the garden; men have bitten the apple. Eve bought the lie in the garden, and women today are repeating it over and over again. Men decided to turn over their responsibility to the weaker vessel (the women). Men of all walks of life are addicted to women; they have put the women before God and Jesus our Lord and Saviour.

The children are led by weakness instead of strength, and they grow up without any morals and values. Just look around you at our children today. The parents are too busy getting their stuff, and the children are left home to fend for themselves. We send them to the public schools where they get indoctrinated, and the parents are clueless about what is being taught to them.

The infrastructure has been changed. How did this happen, how did this begin to change?

We Christians bought the lie; we decided to allow evil to get a foot in the door. We allowed evil to tell us it was alright to let the Godless rule over us. The churches were the first to go under the onslaught of evil; just look around you.

To this day, we are still slaughtering innocent children in the womb (Black women are responsible for one-third of babies to date slaughtered in the womb), and the so-called preachers (not all, but most), even the good ones, are not speaking on it. They’re too afraid they might lose their people and money and the most important of all, their parking space up front.

The men of the church allowed women to become preachers knowing God is against it. Women were not designed to rule over men; it’s out of order.

Even in our country, we have allowed women to rule over us in government – mayors, senators, etc. Just look around you. We now have a vice president that is a woman (Kamala Harris), and she is clueless on what to do under pressure. And we also have a president that is not in good health; we know that he is showing signs of Dementia. The liberals do not care that this man is sick; they only are concerned with power.

There is no love among liberal Democrats, and it seems to be the same with the so-called conservative Republicans. They will do whatever the cost to gain wealth and power and to control you.

Joe Biden’s wife “Jill” has no love for her husband; she has allowed him to make a fool of himself in front of the world—all for the sake of fame and power. Even Biden’s family could care less about him; as long as they get what they want, they will use the president to their advantage.

They are using the president to get their godless agenda done. We all know that this election was stolen from Donald Trump, and we saw before our eyes the weakness of righteous men and women who did nothing to stop it. We watched the liberals put their plan in action and still did nothing to stop it. Our senators and congressmen did nothing to stop this thievery from taking place. All because of fear and retribution. In other words, they were cowards. And most of them hated” Donald Trump.” They hated him because he was arrogant and bragged, and he called them out.

Even preachers will tell you that God did not like his arrogance. But folks, Donald Trump was always that way. He was a real man, not afraid to tell it like it was. God could care less about his arrogance; God put him there for a reason.

But the infrastructure has been changed. We no longer have strong men to lead a country; we gave it over to the women to lead us. Even conservative women have no business ruling over a man. Even “Candice Owens” is trying to rule over men. Men are saying that she will make a good leader. She claims that men should go back home and lead their families, yet she will not go home and raise her newborn child. Her husband will allow her to run around the country saying a whole lot of nothing. Her Ego is off the charts; she bought the lie, just like “Eve” did in the garden.

Evil is now the new good, and folks from all walks of life are falling for it. At first, it was subtle, and now it does not care because it is now in our infrastructure. Evil is now in the forefront and looks like good; it’s an imitation, not real. Commercials have turned evil into good and blatantly puts it in your face. There is no more shame in showing two men in bed together representing a family over children or having men calling themselves women (transgender) to compete in women’s sports. It’s in our infrastructure now, hard to reverse.

What was logical is now all emotion, now mainly from the men who are more emotional than the women.

The white man has become so weakened that he cannot even fight back because he has a bullseye on his back. The white man is so hated because he represents power in this country. He represents good in America; he works the hardest to build, not destroy.

Black men were destroyed a long time ago through “Welfare and Civil Rights.” The black man bought the lie that he needed help from the government; that he could not succeed in life without their help. Liberals and Godless folks told Blacks that racism was the cause for them not getting ahead in America. Slavery was so long ago that it is not even worth a conversation. It’s in the past, but blacks today believe it is still relevant.

The infrastructure has been changed. Even the conservatives believe in the lie. Evil is now good, and good is now evil; you cannot see the difference.

This pandemic was a set-up from the very beginning to weaken America and destroy Donald Trump. Liberals could not allow Donald Trump to succeed in “Making America Great Again.” That would hinder their plan for control over the masses. It would stop them from making billions and billions of dollars. The pharmaceutical companies are making billions over this fake pandemic, and the mind-numbed robots follow every government and media instruction even though they know it’s a lie. They follow suit because of fear. They have fear because the no-good pastors, senators, governors, and mayors tell them so.

Satan, in reality, has sold us fear, the true enemy. Even today, people are still wearing a mask, knowing that it will not stop a virus. But they wear the mask because of fear and doubt; it makes them feel secure and comfortable. After they dress for the morning and get ready to go out, they grab their smartphone and mask; they won’t leave home without it. It is fashionable now to have one on.

Even after a year, folks will still wear the mask, thinking that the virus will somehow float through the air and magically stop and not go through the paper mask. And the most striking part is that I see more blacks wearing the mask than anyone else, all because they were told to do so.

Remember the yellow star (patch) in the days of Nazi Germany that the Jews were forced to wear? It’s no different today. The vaccine is a set-up, a trial run of what is coming.

There is nothing in the vaccine that will stop the virus; it is all smoke and mirrors. Folks believe that by taking the vaccine, they will not get the virus, so they go running gladly to the nearest facility and get their miracle drug, all supplied freely from their government.

Fear and anger run rampant today, and blacks are leading the way to America’s destruction, leading the way in everything wrong in this nation today. They go around with hate in their heart for the white man; they hate everyone, including themselves. They do not believe in God. Instead, they would go around and support an organization like “BLM,” believing that the ten, perhaps 11 blacks killed by white police officers was a racist act. Yet blacks are killing each other daily in the hundreds.

The infrastructure has been changed. This is happening to all races of people; the spirit of evil is the same throughout.

White men, you need to stand up and tell the truth; be not afraid. America, will not change until you men of all races stand up.

God is waiting on men; He is waiting on righteous men to do the right thing, but the infrastructure of America is not the same any longer. It has been destroyed to allow evil to reign, and it is hard even to find one righteous man or woman to fight back. Most have bought the lie.

Churches today are just as dangerous as the women’s womb; you may not come out alive. Preachers sound just like the world today; they give you no hope. They will follow Jesus as long as it goes along with the world and keeping their stuff.

People cannot afford to be without their Smartphone or Google; that’s their new god; it gives them everything they need. Just look around you; they pray to their phone every five to ten minutes without hesitation. It goes everywhere with them; they will go back 10 miles from home to get their phone when they are a mile away from work.

God no longer leads America in people’s lives; Satan has given them a new false god to follow and worship. Satan has made a lie look like the truth and the truth to look like a lie.

Men of all races that are true believers in Jesus Christ must get their courage back. After all, it took one man like Donald Trump to change the world; God used him like he used men from old to get his agenda done. God is looking for a few good men and women to have no fear, and we can begin to move mountains. All is not lost if we now turn around and stand up, and you, that’s right, you white men must lead the way.

We cannot rely on the women to do it for us; it’s not in them to do so. Women cannot fix a man’s problem; we fix women’s problems; that’s our job.

America’s light is almost out, but we did not have to let it come to this; all we had to do is have no fear and trust in God. Now is the time to take America back. The godless liberals think they are winning but are digging a deep hole for themselves. God will, in time, judge them harshly, and I’m afraid good Christians will go down with them. All because they bought the lie.

God is the master of all, and he will let you decide on good or evil; he will give you ample warnings. We have read and re-read Bible, and we still don’t get it.

The word of God is in our hearts from the beginning. For those who have kept up the good fight, God will honor you with his blessings. He will see you through this just as he has taken care of me. I’m here to tell you that God will not forsake you or leave you, even though it seems the bleakest. Our roughest trials are just trials to make you stronger through turbulent times. God is here and now, and he did not give us Jesus for anything. He gave us Jesus for everything. Look to him, and you will get through this.

You must forgive your enemies and love them anyway.

America, it is up to you. We must always pray for Israel; if not for them, there would be no us.

I’m a Christian American Republican who happens to be black.

Make America Great Again.

[dailyaudiobible]

07/16/2021 DAB Transcript

1 Chronicles 22:1-23:32, Romans 3:9-31, Psalm 12:1-8, Proverbs 19:13-14

Today is the 16th day of July, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible, I am Brian it's great to be here with you today as we take the next step forward toward the end of our week. We’ve been reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week, which is what will continue to do, 1 Chronicles chapter 22 and 23 today.

Commentary:

Okay, so have you ever realized that you are imperfect? I realize that pretty much every five minutes. But we don't always think of it in those terms. We just kinda know nobody's perfect and yet the reality of this faith is that we, as imperfect beings, are in a relationship with perfection and we know that God is loving, we know that He's kind and patient and that His mercy endures forever, we’re living examples of that. Like, literally right now in our imperfection we’re experiencing God's patience and kindness and endurance toward us but we’re not supposed to be staying in this state of imperfection, we’re supposed to be surrendering our imperfections, ourselves, we’re supposed to be surrendering these things to God; dying to that imperfect self and being resurrected alive, no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us. So, even in ancient times when the law was given and we went through all of that entire story of Mount Sinai. This is God orienting his people in the right direction, weaving into the fabric of their very being in their very culture who He was and who they are and who, how they relate to one another and what their purpose is. So, if a law shows this way that the Hebrew people believe, like if you could obey this law perfectly than you would attain righteousness before God. And so, a person like Paul who was a Pharisee, a zealous Pharisee, was attempting to do just that even while he was persecuting followers of Jesus. He believes he's doing just that, upholding the righteousness of God, defending the righteousness of God and trying to live into the law and become righteous before God. The problem is, nobody could do it, and so, if you can't do it perfectly and do it perfectly all the time, then how will you ever be righteous? Which is what brings us to one of the central foundational pieces of the Christian faith that it is through faith in Christ. Christ Jesus was perfect, did live perfect and fulfilled this law and so we, on our own in our own strength, have no ability to achieve perfection but through Jesus, through faith in Christ than we are made righteous before God. So, that's one piece of what Paul is beginning to lay out here with the other piece, the more controversy piece, at least in Paul's time, the thing that really set things off the rail for the Hebrew people as it relates to Paul's teachings is that, this is not exclusive, the whole world, Jew and Gentile alike male-female, bond free, Jew, Gentile, everyone is welcome. This is not the traditional Hebrew outlook; they believed they were set apart, chosen, set apart, exclusive and if you want to be in a relationship with the most high God than you follow His laws, you convert to Judaism or you're born into it and you live within this culture. Paul is saying, well, sin though, like sin, everybody, like whether you are Jew or Gentile you sin, you face the same judgment. In other words God isn’t just God over just one group of people and He only looks at that one group but that one group of people's sin. That's the only thing He's paying attention to but everybody else is involved in any way. God is God over all beings upon the earth. So, let me just quote from Romans so that it's in Paul's own words but now, apart from the law, the righteousness of God has been revealed, attested by the law and the prophets. The righteousness of God is through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe since there is no distinction; for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. They are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Jesus Christ. So, all right, Jew or Gentile, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and yet all are welcome to be justified by faith in Christ Jesus receiving that redemption through Christ. Then he goes on to say like, this is the great equalizer friends nobody gets to boast or brag or say, I'm better than somebody else because of my spirituality, because my ethnicity or because of my religion. We have all fallen short and we are all redeemed in the same way nobody can boast, boasting is excluded, according to Paul. So, in other words, none of us deserve to be here. We are only here through faith in Christ and what Christ has done not what we have done or what we can do. Everyone has to come through the same doorway of faith. It is the equalizer, everyone comes broken, everyone can be redeemed. Now we who believe in Jesus we know this; we rejoice in this actually we’re so deeply grateful for this fundamental truth. But as we will continue to see as we continue our journey through the Bible this is very, very controversy at the time. This will brand Paul as a heretic and it's interesting from this vantage point because we as believers, we can be like of course, why wouldn't God want to restore all people to himself? Why, what, He loves us? He died for us. He's opened the pathway to everybody. But then if we do some examining of our own lives, we find that it's very, very, very easy to count people out, to consider that a person who could do or thinks this way or does those things certainly couldn't call upon the name of the Lord or certainly isn't calling upon the name of the Lord. Maybe those judgments are true and maybe they're not, it’s just they're not specifically and particularly helpful because we don't have a say, we’re supposed to be loving toward those people not counting them out. And when we do, we find ourselves kind of in the position of the religious Jewish people that are very very much not able to understand the message of Jesus and are very much against what Paul is saying. So, as we continue through this letter to the Romans, we need to try to put ourselves on both sides of the equation and we’ll talk about both sides of the equation. But when we do that, you know it’s very easy for us to be on Paul's team here. It's in the New Testament. So, of course, we’re on Paul's team and everybody who was against Paul, they’re the bad guys. And so, we can translate that into our own worldview and what Paul is saying, even to these people who are tremendously against him, he’s saying you are welcome to, all are welcome. There is a pathway for all of humanity to find redemption. There is a totally new way to be here. So, let's watch both sides of the equation in our own hearts as we continue the journey through Romans.

Prayer:

And Holy Spirit we invite You to lead us to where we need to go, lead us in our hearts posture, lead us in the convictions and motivations of our hearts, lead us to love, lead us to be the light in the darkness we pray in Jesus’ name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base and home base is good to know. I mean home base is home base. And this is where the Global Campfire is and so it’s good to know what’s going on around here so check it out. Check out the resources that are available in the Daily Audio Bible Shop; things to wear, things to drink with, things to drink, well, maybe I’m not saying that right, things to drink from, things to drink like coffee and tea, things to journal in, things to journal with, things to read and take the journey deeper, things to listen to, all kinds of stuff for the journey that we are on taking our steps day by day through the Bible this year. So check out the resources available in Daily Audio Bible Shop. You can do that at dailyaudiobible.com for sure. You can also use the Daily Audio Bible app by pressing the drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner and that will get you to the Shop as well.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible thank you, thank you, if what we are as a Community is life-giving than thank you for your partnership. We wouldn't be here if we weren't a Community, if we weren't in this together. And so, yeah, gratitude, humble deep gratitude, thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right hand corner or the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996 Springhill, Tennessee 37174.

And as always if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today, I'm Brian, I love you and I’ll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Prayers and Encouragements:

Hey it's Landon from Madison, I just wanted to call in a quick praise report. I called in earlier this year regarding my daughter who was identified to have a single or an isolated single umbilical artery and I wanted to let everybody know that I appreciate all the prayers and they were answered. Our daughter Elaina was born right on time and without any complications at all. So, I just wanted to update you guys on that and thank everybody for your prayers as they worked. God bless everybody. Bye.

Greetings to the church of the Daily Audio Bible, I'm calling to pray with everybody out there that loves an addict. Loving an addict is such a heard thing because we have to deal with the anger that comes from what is seemingly a bottomless pit of selfishness on the part of the addict. But like all things I think we need to catch, contact and perspective. And I think this allows us to pray with empathy and to believe that God will break through. Family, I lost my brother earlier this year to heart failure that was caused by an addiction. I’m still processing and unpacking all the feelings of anger and sadness and misunderstanding. And I’m still confused but I still know that God is good. And I place my faith in that. I want to give a shout out to our resident poet lariat Blind Tony, Victorious Soldier, I love your prayers. Slave of Jesus, it’s time to check in. And to Kingdom Seeker Daniel and Lady of Victory, we send our condolences and we are praying for you and your family. We’re praying fervently for you guys. And as always, a special prayer and blessing to Brian and Jill and their family. This is Delta Alpha FoxTrot calling from the Southern Texas Front.

Hey DAB family, James the Teacher in LA. I was reviewing some past episodes to find where I started listening this year cause I didn’t start in January and I saw that I highlighted an episode where Lisa the Encourager called in to thank me for calling in some years ago and praying for churches which sounds like something I would do and I wanted to thank you for encouraging and uplifting me, Lisa. And also realizing as I was thinking about it, God put the churches on my heart and I almost instantly started to cry, which is my sign that I need to pray. So, Father I pray for the churches of our nation and not just our nation but the churches of this world, Your church in this world, Your people. Who yes, we are under attack from the enemy all day every day in all kinds of ways but I pray for the joy of Your people. I pray that our joy would be Your joy because Your joy is our strength. Joy as a choice, not as…not just human happiness but the choice to trust that You are good that You are God that You are faithful and that whatever we suffer is not enough to destroy us or take us away from You. Lord, we love You. We praise You. And I ask this for all of us in Jesus name. Amen.

Hi, I’m calling in for Micah. Micah called in a couple days ago and I can’t stop thinking about him. His wife doesn’t find him attractive and he doesn’t know what to do. And Micah I just wanted to encourage you. Look to Jesus for your identity and for your beauty because it’s all in in Him. And trust Jesus to show your wife the beauty that you are. But focus on Him and know that your attractiveness is there and don’t try so hard to please a human and a human, no matter how important they are to you, don’t try so hard to please them by jumping through hoops and making muscles and then not finding yourself to be good enough. Because you are, you are His and you are loved and your identity is found in Him and your beauty is found in Him. Love you and I’m praying for you and my husband is praying for you.

[asl4nrawkz-blog]

A Few thoughts from a Christian

By no means am I thee best Christian in the world. Obviously there are many other candidates for that role. However I’m pretty devastated by how some Christians act these days towards other PEOPLE.

First of all I’m sort of sorry if I offend you. Maybe I am, lol. Okay lets get into this.

I want to talk about a couple things that have been on my heart for a while now.  A lot of these things are on the hearts of almost everyone in the United States. I am a Republican, I think. haha. Parts of me think I just don’t even want to be political at all, because I’m a Christian and honestly that should entail all the good parts of each of the “political parties.” There’s a number of things all parties kind of destroy about Christianity.

I am against abortion, I will just get that one out of the way. I was adopted along with my biological brother into a Christian family. I am grateful I was born, I am grateful I was adopted. God knows where I’d be if I stayed in the rumored drug addict and homeless family. I believe that Humans are humans from womb to tomb. If you don’t believe that, that’s your belief. This is mine. I have felt this way almost all my life. If I was aborted I wouldn’t be here. Plain and simple to me. Not just because I’m a Christian but because I’m alive, I was adopted, so I could’ve been aborted. You don’t have to believe that. I actually respect you that you want to stand up for Womens’ rights. However, I believe that it’s killing a baby so, I personally would not do it. Yes, even if I was raped and some how conceived. I will point out that I have gone with a friend to get an abortion for support. I will leave that at that. God loves you.

Now lets talk about the LGBTQ community and also the Drag Queen stuff. Okay, let me first say that I myself have struggled with being Bisexual for years now. I don’t really want to be with a girl though so that kind of stops that whole thing. I’m just physically attracted to women. I haven’t done a “pray the gay away” thing but within my heart I want to be with a Christian man and have kids and all that. Part of my “confusion” is because I haven’t found that man and it hurts. Alot. I still believe that God has someone for me and I keep praying and following for that. I say all that to say, these people are people and God loves them just the same. He loves, He forgives, He accepts. He just doesn’t want us to “celebrate” it so to speak. We need to love them. Hug them. Help them. Treat them with kindness and treat them as yes, equals. I don’t like either side pushing it in each other faces. It happens and It just infuriates the other side so it doesn’t really help change how people treat each other. So just be kind and loving. Now the Drag Queens are “perverts” stuff. There may be a select few that are in it for the wrong reasons, sure. However I’ve never seen any of them be “perverted’ in a sexual way towards little girls or boys. I do not agree that they should be doing story times in public libraries though. That needs to be done in a place that is neutral and is rented out for that event. Something along those lines. This is a very on the fence situation for me. Kids really shouldn’t be showed those things until they’re old enough to understand it. I do have to mention that the Queens I saw doing the readings were a bit scary in how they’re dressed and I’ve seen others who are absolutely beautiful and kind people. On the other hand it could be explained as dress up too. They are entertainers and actors/actresses after all. They are also people and deserve some sort of respect and deserve the same opportunities as any other actor/actress. Also, you’re not forced to take your children to these events so it’s almost a waste of breath to fight against it if you’re not changing parents minds about it first. I’m almost at the point where it’s like ignore it. It’s not your business so stay out of it. They have stories, they have pasts, they have reasons they may be following this line of life. God Loves them.

Side note, If your teenager comes to you and they’re coming out to you. Don’t kick them out of the house. Talk to them. Love them. IF they’re confused talk through  it with them make sure that’s who and where they really want to be. Be a parent.

Christians have other things we need to fight for. Like our own Walks with Christ. Me included.

The border crisis. Listen, The Bible says, “ ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ I agree the parents and adults broke the law. They should be punished as such. I also want to point out that they are people. Kids are kids and they should not be in the position a “stupid” adult put them in. Maybe they are running from bad circumstances, I don’t know. You don’t really know either but they shouldn’t be living how they are living and for Christians to think it’s okay because “they broke the law” is silly to me. Prisoners come to mind also. They shouldn’t be treated like animals even if they deserve to be where they are, meaning jail or prison. It should still be a livable, safe place, with edible food. We’re supposed to be better than other countries. We are supposed to rise above the other standards. We need to treat people like people. Those facilities should be equipped correctly. Especially now that people are staying there longer than originally planned. The system IS broken and it may be hard to fix but there is things people can do to make it more livable. Beds, warm clothes, blankets, donated foods, donate help for watching the kids and diapers. Things like that. The whole process needs to be sped up. If people need to be brought back to their own countries, do it. If people are seeking asylum, get them their papers and move the process along. I’m not sure about all the legal jargon but it just should be sorted out so that they don’t even have to be staying in those conditions. God loves them.

Our God is merciful so why are we so unmerciful?

It comes down to, these people are people and God loves them and He would not treat them the way we do. Or the way we think is okay.

Do I believe that people should just come into our country the wrong/illegal way. No. But I also believe that they can be redirected and helped and put on the legal path of doing things. If I went into almost any other country illegally I would get a worse fate. We do need more border control. Do we need a wall? I don’t know about that one. I’m on the line of kind of not agreeing with that as the solution. There is problems there that both sides like to ignore. There is a border drug problem, there are kids being taken over the border for sex trafficking and human trafficking. That is true. All that money being raised for the border wall should be put into helping these people with their legal issues and/or providing better conditions to live in.

I don’t have all the answers but I urge people to start loving one another. Especially Christians. I’ve seen some of these posts about standing against things and all that but I also get a little offended at how some of it is put. You do look like you’re hating people that you do not understand.

We shouldn’t be following a crowd just because we’re in that crowd. Meaning we don’t have to agree with everything of our political party just because we “think” the majority believes it. We are Christians first. Not Republicans or Democrats first.

God loves all people. He loves people who have abortions, people who don’t. He loves people who are prisoners because they commited a crime, or who haven’t committed a crime. He loves people in the LGBTQ community and he loves those who aren’t in it.

People have to stop taking everything so personal. And like it’s hate filled too. I had a friend once who was gay. He was very manipulative and he wrecked my car and did a couple other things after we took him in and gave him a home and tried to help him get a job and all that. He did some things and after a while we had to tell him to find a new place. He started yelling at how we weren’t Christians if we did this and how we hated him cause he was gay. That really honestly was not the case. He did a lot of things that were disrespectful and not right and my best friends and I got fed up about it all. He was 19 and immature and was pretty much a freeloader and they have 2 kids and it was all taking a toll on the household how he was behaving. He had been warned, redirected, offered advice, and talked to multiple times. We did not hate him. We didn’t kick him out because he was gay. We kicked him out because of his actions and how he was towards the household and the kids. So sometimes you do have to know a whole situation and doing just go to well you hate me cause I’m...

You can forgive but that doesn’t always mean you let the toxic person stay in your life or let them come back in your life. 

Rise above. Rise Up. Forgive. Move on.

I hope this all made sense the way I wanted it to make sense. I hope it came across the way I wanted it too also.

[uclaradio]

Interview with SpaceGodApollo (11/2/18)

Interview occurred on “No Pulp Radio Show” with DJ Odyssey, Ishaan Pota and Lily Frankel

This interview has been edited and transcribed for concision with some questions edited for clarity by Lily Frankel

DJO: So for those who don’t know you are, like where are you from?

SGA: Oh shit, alright, so I was born in Houston. And then honestly my childhood roots were all based in Pasadena, my grandparents, and like my sister and shit. And then, uh, shit, after that, that’s when I started living with my dad, uh, in Missouri City. And uh, yeah, shit was kind of rough in the beginning though, cause when my parents got a divorce, I didn’t see my dad for like, four years. So I was with my grandparents and like shit was always rough over there cuz like my family, like, they kind of fucked up. And there’s some shit I had to go through and I had to see and it fucking sucks, but if I didn’t go through that shit I wouldn’t be where I am today, representing my grandparents the way I am today.

DJO: Would you say music is kind of like an escape for you?

SGA: Definitely, man. I think music, for anyone that’s like depressed out there and they don’t have an outlet where they can seek help, it’s like, music is something that can be personal to them, and only them. And they can carry that with them for life. And it’s like, there’s artists that have affected me, that are going to affect me for life. And I’m always going to be so grateful that... God put them along my path, because it truly did help me and guide me as a person.

DJO: So when did you decide that being an artist is what you wanted to do as a career?

SGA: Damn, man. I remember when I was like 11, 12, I started DJing, and I wanted to make like dubstep because skrillex was hype. And I made like a badass, like, remix of Ellie Goulding, her cover of “High for This” by the weekend. That shit was fire, bruh [laughs]. And I was like 12. And I actually got it up on youtube right now, to this day, but uh, shit after that I was like uh, no, what am I doing, I’m young as hell [laughs], like I’m trippin’ thinking I’m finna be some kind of DJ. And then uh, I started getting really into RNB Music, and I really really started getting into like, just vocalists in general, that shit, it just amazed me how some people’s voices could be so powerful that it can affect millions and millions of people. And that shit really inspired me and it made me want to do something in my life that would benefit, like, more than I could ever imagine. And It was probably around like eighth grade, freshman year that I was like, yo, like, I want to be involved in music. I’m not sure how yet? But I’m going to start trying. And I spent a good ten to like, twelve months, just writing every single day song, song, song after song. I missed days of school cause I kept getting in trouble just sitting on my phone with earbuds, like writing lyrics because I was fucking addicted. And uh, I’d miss school and like, literally the whole eight hours of school that’d be going on? I’d be in my room just going off writing and writing and writing perfecting my craft. Studying wordplay, rhyme schemes, all the cadences, everything. And eventually I was like, yo, like, I’d never sing in front of nobody but when I was young my sister used to get singing lessons? And so I would always, you know, that’s my sister, I looked up to her, I would want to hang out with her and see her do her shit. And uh [laughs] I actually learned a lot from it. I would go, like, my own private, when I’m in my room, like really young, I’m talking like five or six? And I would take what she would learn from her instructor and like apply it to myself, but in secret, for so many years. And uh, shit, that’s when I met Christian, freshman year, like first day of school, and like, we just became boys. He tells me he wants to be a photographer, I’m like bro, like, I kinda want to be like, some kind of artist, whether it be singing or rapping, I don’t know yet. And then he was like bet [laughing], I’ll be your photographer, let’s do it. And I was like... It just naturally came together.

DJO: So my next question is, with the music scene so saturated with new up and coming artists, what do you do to separate yourself from everybody else?

SGA: Listen to all types of different music and find a way to respect it, and each its own. Like I will pull up, like, 40s, songs, from like, the war. And sad songs that were like, made to be sad, and try to understand what attracts people to sad songs. And it’s like, when it comes to me, I feel like every song I’ve put off out the jump has been extremely different from the other. And I feel like for me it’s all been, like, just how I’m feeling in the moment, how I’m feeling in my life. I take time dropping my tracks because I want to live different chapters of my life before I put out something that’s like, my baby, you know. That baby is developing while I’m developing as a person too. And it’s like, forever evolving. But then it’s also just like my sound is just like, forever evolving. I’ve got songs coming out like, if you want to find something that sounds like that, there’s only one place you can go. And it’s like, that’s what I’m trying to make the gold-standard for all my shit. Every song, I want it to be unique and where it’s one of a kind.

Ishaan: Who are some artists today that you draw inspiration from?

SGA: Artists today I draw inspiration from, man. Alright, like, no particular order, but like: of course, Kendrick Lamar, King Kendrick pulls true to me and a lot of like where my... my work ethic comes from, I see his wordplay and I’m like, man, this guy is a monster, he’s a freaking beast, he’s not from here [laughs]. Like, how can I compete with that. And I’m like, the only way I can compete with that is focusing on myself, keeping to myself and working fucking hard. But along with Kendrick Lamar, shit, I got, Future. Young Thug. Travis Scott of course. Shit, he went to, we went to the same school, uh, knew him way back, my sister was tight with him way back. And uh, one of the big things, also, about, you know, staying lengthy, is like, I could have been that person, you know, knowing his siblings and stuff, and been like, hey, please show Travis Scott my music, we went to the same high school, we’re friends, blah blah blah. But it’s like, I ain’t ever do that. I ain’t ever tell my parents about my music, I ain’t ever tell my sister about my music. I wanted this to be something that I accomplish on my own. And it would really make me feel complete in my life and everything and it’s something I love and want to do forever. And uh, Travis Scott definitely showed me that music can definitely be more than a hook and a verse. You know, he showed me the future and the way sounds are evolving, and you know, the way softwares and things like that, midis, are evolving, shit can get ridiculous [laughs] in the future. And it’s like, I just want to become one of the greatest artists of all time, that’s definitely the ultimate goal.

Lily: Do you think that, for you, that comes from lyrics?

SGA: For me? I think a lot of it—I feel like it’s all one big, not necessarily formula, but everything has to like, it has to fit, it has to make sense. It’s like, if I’m going to have a beat that sounds like it’s retro, it sounds like I’m taking you back to a different time, I’m going to rap in a way, or sing in a way, that’s from that time. I’m going to pay homage to that and respect it, and also put my own swagger to it and my own... my own generational sound to it and really make it my own. And like I’ve done covers of songs by like, Billie Eilish, and I’ve like completely altered them and changed them and made them completely different.

DJO: So you’re performing at Complex Con this year. How did that even go down? How did the booking go down, what are the details behind that if you can elaborate?

SGA: Yeah, basically, this past year, like, my dad, uh... He had gone to a Jamba Juice and like, in the nearest town center, and he had heard my song playing in Jamba Juice. But he didn’t know it was me. But he liked the song. And so he had the workers, cause he goes there, he’s like a daily person, and so he had asked the workers, like, what song is this? I’ve never heard this on the radio. And they were like, oh, it’s this guy named Ricky Apollo, he graduated from Elkins recently—my school—and he’s like twenty-something, but he makes really cool music. And my dad was like, Ricky Apollo? And I’m sure he like was like, that voice sounds familiar, there was no autotune or nothing. And just so everyone knows, it was my song “Feel.” It was actually my second song I had ever written... yeah, ever written, ever released, ever. And uh, thankfully, by like, the graciousness of God, XXXtentacion had found that song before everyone, and he had reposted it, and that’s when I got, like, my first little spark of exposure. [...] So my dad had asked about how that song, where that song came from. And he calls me and he’s like [affects a slightly older, higher-pitched voice], “hey do you know, uh, who Ricky Apollo is?” he goes, “is that you?” And I’m like, “yeah.” And then he’s like, your song is... you make music?” And I’m like, “yeah.” And he’s like, “it’s playing in Jamba Juice.” And I was like, “really? That’s cool.” And he was like, “what? Are you joking?” And I’m like, “nah.” [laughing] “I guess you had to find out sooner or later.” And then he immediately told my sister. And my sister freaked out because, you know, like I said, when she was younger she always wanted like, to sing, and she wanted to be a singer. And she’s a fucking incredible singer. And I’ll never be at her level [laughing], but uh, no yeah, her vocals are... she’s blessed for real. Like she’s... if you think my voice is good, it’s like... her shit’s on steroids. Like she could do opera. But uh, so my sister found out about it and whatnot. And of course, she’s my sister and she loves me, and as much as I wanted to do it alone, she was like let me help you. I want to be a part of this, I want to do this together. Because I feel like [voice breaks]... our whole life it’s like... It’s really just been me and her... And like... for her to like, feel that way? And want to help? It means like, it means everything, you know. And so she, actually, her boyfriend is a DJ. And uh, he performed at Voodoo just last weekend. His name’s Swaylo. SwayloNights on Instagram, shoutout him. Shoutout my sister, Lizzie Aguirre. So they’re actually both managing me at the moment. So Noah, who is my sister’s boyfriend, the DJ, he has a friend who is the event coordinator at Complex. And so he was like, hey man, this kid’s got a lotta talent. And I want to help him so badly and I want to reach out to as many people as I can, is there anything you can do. And the guy was like, yeah, I’ll check it out and see what I can do. And he listened to it, he got back to him. He said, yo, this is crazy, I’m gonna let the higher-ups get a listen to it. And uh, play him, like these songs, that, you know, I had chosen that I wanted them to listen to? And uh, they had all loved it, and they were like, yo, we have an open slot, let’s fly him out here, let’s get him the hotel, let’s get him the whole package, let’s feed him. And I’m so grateful for that man, it’s crazy. I remember he was like I’m gonna get back to you in a week, I don’t know if it’s for certain.

DJO: Yo that must have been the longest week.

SGA: Oh my god, you have no idea man, I was like, I was hitting the sauna and the sweat room like every fuckin day, just trying to keep my cool, tryna stay relaxed, I was like, it was definitely going to be, I knew it was going to be the biggest moment for me, and I knew it could definitely jumpstart. literally. Everything. And there’s endless possibilities, but uh, yeah, that’s really how it all came together. And after that, it’s like, I’ve got Forbes in my email, because they’re like, dude, you’re young as hell, how did you get on this line-up, and it’s like, we wanna know more about you. And it’s like, they wanna talk too. And it’s gonna be after my performance, and I’m the first one? Starting the weekend? Of all of Complex Con? And, oh my god, am I so ready, to fucking set everyone’s mind ablaze, bro. I want everyone to be hype as fuck and get ready to fucking rage all weekend, get fucked up, and have an amazing time that you won’t remember.

Can you walk us through your creative process?

SGA: Yeah, so, definitely, see when it comes down to my creative process, it’s like, okay, I’m driving a four hour drive from Austin to Houston, like whatever, like I’m bouncing around, and it’s like all of a sudden [snaps] shit just hits me, out of nowhere, a concept, and I’ll quickly take out my phone, open my notes, write a concept, it’s like, this is the type of song I want to put together. [...] And then, uh, later I’ll go home and reflect on that, or maybe I’ll spend two months, like just living life, and then I’ll come back to that and be like damn, I really want to talk about that now. And then I’ll just go to writing, for hours on hours, days on days, and then when it finally comes down to a studio sesh, Imma get like five, six hours for that one song, and I’m gonna fully, uh, invest myself into making that song fucking incredible in the best way I can possibly make it. [...] When I get like in the studio it’s really all about like, we’re all gonna be there, you know my engineer, Matthew O’Neil, he’s a huge part of the creative process. Me and him, we really, we have a like, unspoken chemistry that we just... we don’t even need to talk about, it’s just laughable at this point. We bounce off of each other’s ideas like, like at the speed of light, it’s crazy. I’ll just be in the booth, I don’t have to exit for like eight hours, we just, we know what we’re talking about, we know what we want to do, and when it’s time to experiment, it’s like, I really let him show me, and like show me what we can do with pro tools and stuff like that. And I’ve taken the time to have studio sessions where I simply just learn about the plug-ins and like learn about shit I can try to experiment later, you know, and like sit on and think about. And I feel like that’s really important, I feel like a lot of people think they can just write a verse and a hook, go to a studio and record it and that’s it, but then it’s like, you realize you just made a very boring song, you know. And I feel like, my music, I try to have a different dynamic, a more exciting dynamic, it’s like, Imma keep the same core vibe the whole time, but I’m gonna keep you on your toes with what’s about to happen next, whether the beat’s gonna get chopped and screwed, fuckin Houston style, or like, shit, we’re gonna come in with a like a choir of like my voice, or I’m all of a sudden gonna hit a falsetto, that you have no idea I can even hit that range, and it’s like, it’s really, I really like surprising people and I feel like that’s why, all my releases, I’ve always released it like boom [snaps]. Surprise. Something completely different. And they’re like damn, like, people will be like, oh, make more RNB, make more—do something jazzy, do something trap. And I’m like alright, I’m gonna mesh it all together. I’m gonna get a jazz beat, I’m gonna sing it in RNB, but then my words are gonna be about the trap [laughter]. And then I’ll take that from like, real-life experience, like obviously my parents don’t know this but like I’ve been trappin for a minute. And like that’s how we gotta make a lot of shit happen. Because I can’t be working a 9-5 and think I’m gonna be fucking inspired to make some music that’s gonna touch people’s soul. I’m not gonna do that sitting behind a fucking counter, scanning barcodes. I’m gonna do that from being out, with my friends, experiencing life, experiencing adventures, taking trips and like, going, getting one-way tickets to fucking LA for Complex Con.

How do you stay centered? Because the life of an artist, it has so many ups and downs and unpredictabilities, what do you do to center yourself and just keep sane, and keep the team sane? SGA: Shit, man. [laughs.] When it comes to keeping the team sane, you gotta be more insane than everyone else combined. You have to be able to deal with your own demons and your own negative thoughts extremely well, by yourself, in order to take care of other people, I feel like. I feel like—and that also transitions to relationships. It’s like, I can’t take care... of another girl... if I’m not right with myself. And it’s like, if I’m not good, and if I’m not in a good mental state, and I can’t even get myself in control, if my girl is hurting or she’s going through some shit, how can I be there for her if I can’t be there for myself. So I feel like a lot of keeping the team sane is really just like me keeping my composure when shit get crazy, and when shit get wild, when like, things go south, whatever, I really like, you gotta be a leader sometimes, you gotta be like a red power ranger. [DJO laughs.] Like you got the whole team, you got the whole team, but like, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta have some guidance in there.

DJO: Just turned nineteen, so for you to already kinda be encompassing this leadership quality, and just being like hey, I’m grounded, I’m centered, and you know, because, I understand the team kinda feeds off that.

SGA: Honestly, it’s like, as much as it sucks, that like, cause like I fuckin, honestly, honest to God, like I fucking hate my childhood, but if it wasn’t for my childhood, and me and my sister just being, like, by ourselves, going through our shit, it really helped us mature a lot faster, and I feel like that’s why I didn’t fuck with a lot of people in high school, and even in middle school, because I just had, I’ve seen a whole fucked up world that these kids at the time hadn’t seen. And I was, like, different in the head, but like, you know, obviously, like, I wasn’t going to make a big deal about it, it was just, Ima just keep to myself and worry about myself and my fam and making sure my sister’s good, my momma’s good, my dad’s good, my friends are good. Everyone. You know.

DJO: If you feel comfortable sharing, like, what’s one of the most fucked up things you’ve seen. Or, the most fucked up thing you saw.

SGA: Shit. One of the most fucked up things I’ve seen, is... my uncle, coming home, one day, uh, to my grandparents' crib, and like, I got other uncles there, at the time, and like, they.... You know, they, they, they could be fiends back then and they would be fightin, over like crack, because one of them would be like selling crack or have crack and [takes a deep breath] they fuckin, they get fucked up, and then they fight each other over it and then my grandparents tried to get involved, get them out of it, and they’re like in their fucking late eighties, nineties, and, and then, my uncle, beat my grandmother.... [voice breaks] and my grandfather, you know, like..... right in front of me, and it’s like... when you’re that young, and [crying] you care about those people, that shit hits different. And that’s when I would, have to, realize I can’t do anything. And then uh... I’ve never talked about this [laughs weakly]. [A moment of quiet. His friend rubs his shoulder.]

DJO: I mean, we could stop if it’s getting a little bit too deep, man.

SGA [his voice is quiet. He’s still crying. His friend is still rubbing his shoulder.]: Nah, it’s cool, it’s just... it’s just hard to dig back. I try so hard to like.... not think about it, but... it’s tough. And like that uncle, he’s, you know, he’s rotting in jail [crying], and... you know, he’s my uncle, but... he’s made his choices, and so, you know? [Exhales.] He’s got to pay for that shit I guess, bro. Nonetheless, like.... just gotta keep moving forward. Keep doing what we’re doing.

L: You talked about earlier, a little bit, meditation on the plane and spirituality, that kind of stuff, do you think that’s something that’s helped you and translated into your music at all?

SGA: Yeah, just like I’ve said, you know my sister, you know, she lived through the same fucked up shit, and so she’s actually a fuckin professional yogi, like, instructor. And she’s very spiritual and she found her own way to cope with what she goes through, through her lane, and I found mine, and I feel like we really help each other as a [voice breaks] family, and it’s... and keep each other strong, and she really showed me how to [voice breaks] keep my sanity, and keep myself... together, even though I have so many regrets... growing up, but. [Takes a breath.] Yeah, on the plane I really just had to get in touch spiritually and realize that... I’m doing this all for a greater purpose, personally. And it’s like... I feel like the reason that I could give a fuck about fame or fortune is like why I try so hard. It’s cause like, it’s really, it’s really for everyone around me. [Crying.] And I got so much love for the people around me. Real talk. I’d kill—I’d kill for my people.

DJO: So let’s get on a little bit lighter note, why don’t we talk about the track we just played for the people [“Hol’ Up”]? What was the process going behind that track? I remember when we were in the living room, we were talking about how it was one of your favorite tracks to develop.

SGA: One of my favorite tracks I’ve ever made, man. Uh, this producer, out in like... uh, I think he’s Norwegian... hit me up, like, didn’t even know English, like, talking through google translate, and he’s like, yo, I heard your shit, and like, it’s crazy. Check it—I do old school rap beats, I don’t know if you’ll like it, but fuck with it. And so I’m like, dude, I love old school rap, and I’ve always wanted to go down that lane, it’s just no producers right now, that I can get in touch with, are doing it well. And he sent me this beat and I knew, like, the way it had me moving? With no lyrics? I just knew, like, if I felt that way about it, I-I don’t have to write shit. Ima go in there and Ima go off my vibe and how I feel and when people hear it they’re gonna feel what I’m feeling and feel how I was in the booth. And when I had booked that session, me and Matt were like, let’s fuck around, let’s just re-spark the inspiration, let’s get back into, like, our hard-core work ethic, and we get like a 10-hour studio session, and we just... get a couple beats, put them together, free-style for hours, and we had put together like a 16-minute long freestyle. And it’s like, between my closest friends—it was never released, but between my closest friends, they still tell me to this day, like, drop it. And I think, uh, it’ll be something that’ll go on Soundcloud like years from now, just as something to look back on. And uh, cause that was my way of just like furthering, learning more about myself and my voice, and trying to hit extremes, in a completely, like... when you’re just high as hell, and a beat will literally move every fucking nerve in your body and it will just come so naturally. And so after I had literally done that for hours, like eight hours, and I’m like, damn, like, I’m tired as hell, let’s just chill bro, I’ve got this nice-ass old-school beat, let’s throw it on. And so Matt throws it on, immediately he’s like—he loves old school rap—and he was like, yo, like, this is fire, go get in that booth. And I was like bet, let’s get it. And then uh, we honestly knocked it out in probably like 25 minutes flat. Like, no autotune, ran through that shit. I had one thing written, and it was “hol’ up, wait, let me go out to your estate.” And we just ... ran that hoe. And that, I feel like that’s why it was so amazing to me, cause I thought like, I was so exhausted and like done for the day, nothing would come out, and it’s like—I had made the best song to me that I had ever—it was the most rewarding song to me, honestly. I feel like it was just: the ad-libs were perfect, my melodies were perfect, the vibe was perfect, and to me—it made me happy. And if it’s like, it makes me happy? I know if I can get the exposure, and get it out to millions of people, a good portion of them will like it too. And that’s all I need, to like, you know, want to keep going.

Listen to the full interview here and check out “Hol’ Up” and other SpaceGodApollo tracks on Soundcloud and Spotify!

[angiejoywrites]

my social media experiment

Welp, here we are. I’ve been on a journey the last few weeks, one that has held significant meaning to me, and I’d like to share it with you. This is a conversation I feel needs to be had, has not been had often enough, and is worth our time and critical thinking. I’m calling it my social (media) experiment, because, though it has been about social media, on a very obvious and practical level, it has been about so many other things at the same time. I desire all of life to grow and shape me, pulling and gleaning out of each experience that which it has to offer. This has been an intentional abstinence, therefore I’m thinking intentionally about its implications. So often in life, we do things by rote or habit, simply because we’ve gotten used to doing them, without much forethought or ongoing thought about whether we want something as part of our Iives, and frankly, whether it is doing us any good.

This is the season of Lent, a time when many people abstain from or add something to their routine in an effort to connect more fully with God, as a way to reflect on and participate, in some small way, the death of Jesus by the cross. We want to know, in some deeper sense, what it means that God gave His life for us, recognizing there was a significant sacrifice being given through Jesus’ life and death. Lent has been the season leading up to Easter that Christians have, for centuries old, turned and quieted their hearts to the divine.

This year during this season, I’ve sought this end, in part, by turning off the social media. I use Facebook the most, but my other socials I’ve turned off as well. I’ve checked it a handful of times throughout Lent, about once a week. I would say I’ve used social medial pretty consistently for many years now, with no significant breaks in use. First off, let me just say, there is nothing particularly heroic or noteworthy about this action. I fully realize this there are much bigger “fish to fry” in our world and whether or not I’m using social media doesn’t matter to anyone else as much as it does to me. But I want to share what I’ve learned throughout this process and what I feel is worth our examination. Social media has become so ubiquitous in our culture, we can scarcely imagine our lives without it. Something that ingrained is worthy of some consideration, in my view. Much could be said, from a number of perspectives. My aim here is for us to THINK. To think maybe just a little bit more critically about how we use these tools. I’m processing as I write, and speaking to myself as much as anyone else. I’ve thought about many of these ideas before, but having had this concerted period of time to unplug, it’s brought much of it to a head for me, and solicited realizations I knew to be true.

I intend for this to a conversation; ongoing, nuanced, multi-faceted. I am not attempting to explore this topic from every angle and perspective; that could be an entire book. This is just a beginning point, and hopefully a point of reflection for you as well. As I’ve heard said before, take what serves you. Leave the rest.

So, some initial reflections.

It’s hard to believe, I know, but this entire time, the world kept moving. The earth kept spinning, the days turned into weeks, and nothing fell apart because I wasn’t online. People continued to lead their lives and so did I. Social media has instilled many false beliefs in us, one of which is that we will miss something monumental if we aren’t online constantly. That whole FOMO (fear of missing out) business. Do I really need to know where you went to dinner tonight? Do you care about what I did today? No, not really. Maybe if you’re my mother, but if you’re anyone else, you don’t care. You may like me, or not. We have some level of connection, or knew each other at some point in this life, or whatever the case may be. But chances are, very few people on your social media friend list are people you interact with in real time, face-to-face, on a regular basis. Somehow we just used to have friends and family, some near and some far. And those we were closest to, we found ways to connect with in meaningful ways.

I truly do believe social media has lied to us. It’s all supposed to be about connection, right? But we believe the falsehood that we are more connected, better connected, more apprised of life and the world at large through these mediums. It’s told us we can discover something meaningful and lasting through a screen and a photo. We’ve gotten so used to thinking it’s better to share our lives on this bigger scale, for more people to see and absorb. But why? Is it truly a better way, than, say, sitting across from someone in honest conversation? True connection engenders a sense of being seen, known and loved for who we are, in this place and time. Real relationships with people who love us and who we love remind us that we are valuable and worthy of attention, simply because we are. Does social media give us this? It cannot. It’s a counterfeit of authentic connection. We seek to belong, but then it only tells us our worth is somehow tied up with how well we are liked on social media.

Online life is strictly two-dimensional; it cannot, by its nature, be three-dimensional. Flesh and blood, human beings in our path, across our table, have depth and complexity, nuance and breadth. Emotions. Faces. Smiles. An online presence allows us to be only who we want to portray, leaving out the difficult or messy parts of us, if we so choose. We can spend inordinate amounts of time perfecting our persona, showcasing a certain angle or view of ourselves that others might admire or, dare I say, even want to emulate? Maybe we truly desire to share our lives with others; the issue here, though, becomes the overwhelming tendency for comparison, inadequacy, jealousy, and self-doubt to fix us in a stranglehold with this mess. Unconsciously, we see other people’s lives, perfect or not, and are convinced we are not measuring up to some invisible standard. It’s a lie. It tells us that we are going to lose out in some way if we are not constantly engaged. It tells us that we aren’t enough, in all the ways one can be “enough.” Plenty of research has been and continues to be done on the mental health effects of social media. Anxiety, depression, inadequacy, bullying, suicidal thoughts are all correlated and connected to the use of these platforms, because they present life as a caricature. Real life people get all out of sorts and mixed up in their heads because they are trying to do the impossible, confused about reality and their own adequacy in the face of all the stimulation and veneer of what they are seeing.

Here’s the piece that makes me a little crazy when I stop and think about it. It’s what is always under the surface, what we know at our gut levels, but no one wants to say. Social media tells us quantity is more important than quality. This junk is ADDICTING. They’ve studied this stuff (you know, those researcher people) and our phones and news feeds have the same effect on our brains as any other short-term gratification does. Our brains are instantly sated by seeing new information, and the more we get that tiny “high,” the more we want it again, more often, on repeat, until we think we need it constantly. New stimuli, again and again, and we have rewired our brains to expect our fix on the regular. Yes, this sounds like what a drug does, and in fact, it is the same process. Who do we use the term user for? A user of technology, and drug users. (Watch the documentary The Social Dilemma to really mess with your thinking about this stuff). Here’s the problem. We might say we are using technology, or using social media. But if we can be honest, it is using us. We are under its thumb. The computer knows what you like, who you like and who you don’t, what you spend your time looking for, and how to get you to keep coming back.

The thing is, I don’t want anything or anyone else to control and manage who I am, what I do, and how I spend my time. In effect, we’ve given ourselves over to our devices, especially social media, and basically willingly. It’s been such a subconscious process, we don’t even know how we got here. Like the frog sitting in the pot with ever increasingly hot water, we’ve adopted these practices as they’ve come about over the years, and as each new technology comes along, we simply adapt a little further down the line, hardly giving it a second thought. Part of what’s happened, and another way our brains have changed through all of this use, is that when we are bored, or without a specific task in a given moment, we have come to need instantaneous distraction and stimulation. Again, this is our addicted brains telling us we need input at all times. If it’s not simple distraction, we think we need entertainment, or to stay “caught up” with the larger worlds. This is to our detriment; because of all this, we’ve lost capacity for stillness, quiet, conflict, creativity, imagination, and growth. We stagnate and atrophy in our physical worlds, in our ability to develop deep, true connections, in our ability to seek out and develop new skills and talents. If we don’t know how to sit with ten minutes of idle time without being distracted and entertained, how can we let our minds go to new places, dream new dreams, hope new hopes? How can we find time to come together with others in understanding, collaboration, seeking to know one another better? Are we even seeking new physical relationships when we think we are so connected online? How do we enjoy the natural world and truly see the physical people around us when our minds are so caught up in not missing out on something online, in comparing ourselves to others, in grasping for a false sense of connection in is inherently superficial and fake?

And then, there is the very real and obvious issue of time itself. The amount of time we are spending on our devices, especially social media, is pretty staggering. You can google this one. In a very practical sense, we are literally giving away our time to our devices. Our one commodity we can never get back is time. We throw it away, like there is always more tomorrow. This is it, man. Your one beautiful life. The thing is, you really do have choice in this matter. No one is telling you how to spend your days but you. You can be intentional, about all your decisions, about all your moments. This includes how much time we spend on a device, of any kind, for any purpose. Think about it. Don’t just passively consume, inhaling all of this without counting the cost. What do you really want? What is important and matters most to you?

These are the kinds of questions that come to mind when thinking about this issue.

Does the good outweigh the bad? Of course, there are positive and negative elements of most things in this world. For this, is it worth it? For you as an individual, and for our larger society? We’ve all seen atrocious ways social media has been used for lots of evil, and caused lots of harm; I’m just not convinced that has no bearing.

Internally, is it doing us any good, in the short and long-terms? Is it life-giving? How do you feel emotionally after being on social media? Peaceful, anxious, happy, stressed? I believe all our decisions should be filtered through this lens. What is accomplished by me doing this action, participating in this activity? The practices of my life - are they helping me become the person I want to be? And who is that? Are we becoming kinder, more empathetic and compassionate? How does using social media, and all that we see and consume there, affect the person I am today and that I want to keep becoming?

I just can’t shake the feeling we’ve been duped. Lots of forces are involved that don’t give a rip about you or me, or anyone else. They mostly care about money; we know this if we’re honest. Maybe we could just take back our lives. Instead of watching other people live their lives, just go live yours. Maybe stop worrying so much about what is happening on the other side of a computer screen, and get outside of yourself. Have coffee with a friend. Invite someone new or old to dinner. Invest in real relationships in your real world. Find a new way to get out of your comfort zone and interact with people different than you. Serve someone in a new way. These are the things that really change us. 

Take back your time and your space. Just say NO. It really is up to you. It has to be, or it’s no longer your life.

This season has been really refreshing for me. I’ve read more, thought more, explored more. I’ve had pockets of time to dream and consider what might be, where I want to go in my life. I’ve gotten outside every chance I’ve gotten and just breathed in the fresh air. I think our eyes are tired. Tired of looking at a tiny rectangle. Tired of us looking down instead of up and out. Let’s open our eyes. Look at the world and the people around you. Life has more to offer us. It is more simple and pure than we often make it. It’s more beautiful and joyful than we allow it to be. The world is complex and messy, unspeakably lovely and unbelievably fractured. But it is real, and it is true. And we are alive. Today, in this moment. Let’s go live in it.

[moments777]

This has been a brutal year for the church and its people. No need to make a list of why. How should we react when leaders fall? When leaders sin? When fellow believers sin? If you follow any social media comments when a leader’s sin becomes public you will quickly see a divide amongst believers. I am oversimplifying a bit, but in general one group of Christians demands holy living and the other demands grace and empathy.

I am entirely uncomfortable with some of the trends I see in our responses to immorality. Imo this isn’t really just about leaders sinning. I believe that there is a deeper problem underneath. This is about all of us and our lack of understanding of who God has called us to be.

-First and foremost, God is a God of grace! His mercies are new EVERY SINGLE MORNING. He is the God who called David “the man after God’s own heart”. And yes that’s the same David that was guilty of murder and adultery. God is all about restoration, forgiveness, grace, and yes-every single one of us comes to Christ thoroughly sinful, depraved, and a desperate beggar of His grace. No, we shouldn’t think we are better or more holy than other people. We are filth that was chosen, called, and redeemed by nothing else but the unmerited undeserved grace of God!

-Having said all of those wonderful things about God’s love and forgiveness and grace, since when does the Church have to choose between believing in that wonderful grace and holding a steady line of what true holy Christian living should look like? Are we not called to this? ESPECIALLY LEADERS? The Church has become so weak out of fear of seeming judgmental that we have stopped preaching that God wants us to live in purity and holiness. Is it not grace that leads us to holy living? “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,” (Titus 2:11-12). Why then would one think it’s judgmental to call out immorality as unacceptable in Church leadership?

-CHRISTIANS: It is not ok to lower the standard of holy living (as it is commanded in Gods Word) just because you can relate to someone’s sin. Grace is there for us if we sin! (Yes I said “if” instead of “when” we sin because it is written that way in the Bible 1 John 2:1). But that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t fight against sin just because “everyone gives in on THAT one.” I am shocked and saddened by the amount of Christians I know that place more confidence in the power of their flesh than faith in the Holy Spirit who has set us free from the bondage of sin?! You are NO LONGER a slave!

-When leaders fall I always hear statements like the following: “Don’t judge them because everyone sins and our lives are just as tainted as theirs, the only difference is that their sin is public, so why should we hold them to a different standard?” This is precisely my main issue. This isn't just about leaders it’s about ALL Christians and a misunderstanding of the Bible. CHRISTIANS: A LIFESTYLE OF SIN IS NOT GUARANTEED FOR YOU! In Ephesians 5:3 Paul says “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” and in Philippians 2:15 he speaks of us becoming “blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky”.

We sometimes forget the power of God within us! When did we start thinking it’s normal to live with years and years of unrepentant addiction and patterns of sin? Can we please stop normalizing this? Yes God will forgive and yes God loves! What great news! But there is more to your salvation than going to heaven when you die. We should be living a redeemed life that is an outward picture of an inward reality of the re-created person that God has made us through Christ Jesus’s death. You no longer live, but Christ lives in you!

-I can tell you what IS a guarantee: the Holy Spirit will live inside of you and fill you with power that will enable you to fight sin in a way that you could not fight sin before. Is that just meant to sound cool? Or to be sung in a worship song? Or does God ACTUALLY mean that the Holy Spirit within you is willing and able and powerful enough to help you conquer habitual sin? He has made you MORE THAN A CONQUEROR so put on the full armor of God and start fighting!

-concerning sexual immorality: I want men and women to hear me, young and old-you are NOT a slave to pornography and sexual sin. I’m always hearing this excuse that it’s just a “normal part of life.” If you are saved and reborn in Christ, then you are no longer “normal” as defined by the world. You are new. You have a supernatural new nature. IT IS POSSIBLE through the work of Jesus and the work of the Holy Spirit for you to live a life without sexual addiction. We do not need to treat everyone who struggles with sexual sin like a victim. God wants to change you from a victim to a VICTOR! And let me say clearly that it is inappropriate for leaders to live a lifestyle of unrepentant sexual sin. Period. Don’t be mad at me I didn’t write the Bible! I’m tired of seeing all the Christians shouting “stop being judgmental this is between them and God.” Yes that’s true, but is it really out of bounds to be shocked and angry? A pastor leads a double life of sexual sin. A youth pastor has a relationship with a married person. A leader commits sexual abuse and the Church covers it up. Yes God forgives and we should forgive, but that doesn’t mean that there should not be shock and outrage. Passivity to sin is not a normal response for a people called to holiness!

Does this sound extreme? We have to decide if we think that all of this “living for Jesus” is make-believe or not. Either Jesus saves and redeems and calls us to holiness, or he doesn’t. Either Jesus is everything or Jesus is nothing.

The good news is that YES, there is forgiveness and grace and restoration! And There is no condemnation for us in Christ! God is a God whose love is infinite. He loves to show grace and mercy. But He also loves holiness and righteousness. I am begging fellow believers...instead of lowering our expectations of a leader’s life being consistent with re-creation in Christ, we should hold even tighter to the character qualifications and behavioral guidelines in the Bible of those who serve and lead. And may all of us leaders/influencers be reminded in times like this that the enemy is on the prowl and he is looking for someone to devour. He hates us, he wants to defeat us, and he will never quit trying to kill, steal, and destroy us. I cannot overcome him. You cannot overcome him. But the Spirit of God who lives within me and you can overcome him! Live in His Spirit. Walk in His Spirit. God has called you to be a conqueror.

“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16)

[imjusddt]

The Unmasking (Spoken Word)

I, am on a journey

A journey that's hard to navigate because of what I am, yet will never compare to the journey of those that aren't like me

A journey three years in the making, yet still just beginning

Along the way I've seen many things: the hurt and pain that plague our society. The racism, misogyny, bigotry and hatred. The power lust, greed, and mentality of "me". The hi-light reels of social media, hiding behind our devices, living false realities to mask our insecurities. The misconceptions, false perceptions and hypocrisy that rules us all. The pride that disguises who we really are and lies to us about the source of our issues, making us think everything's fine.

And we believe the lies cuz it sounds good, yet fail to realize we're drinking deadly poison that's laced with a little truth.

What do I mean? Well, let me explain.

I think at the core we all want the same thing, but we take a different approach. Like the thought of success gives us high hopes, but we fail to realize success is a tight rope. And that's two fold when you put some thought to it, but we so blinded by the lights, we don't give no thought to it. And what's worse, we're told when we reach the heights, we need that whip and a chain. Now we're willfully enslaved so we do what they say to keep bringing in the paychecks, and knowing it ain't right the way they make their checks, they tell us "smoke weed" so we'll feel the pain less. We let the cycle continue until we find a way to make it out, but then continue the same pattern as we climb the ladder that we've made now.

Ruled by greed and the lust for success, we step on those like us in fear that they're against us. We put up walls to make us feel safe, yet tear others down so we don't lose our place.

As we spend our nights, chasing dreams and shooting for the stars, we let them teach us a lesson, one confirmed by God: man was not meant to be alone. So we got us a broad, a woman, the most beautiful of God's creation, to be by our side as we continue dream chasing.

We live life always hungry for more cuz there's never enough. And just like with our stuff, our women add up, cuz what's the fun of just one?

But what're women without sex? And maybe we can profit through it? Thus begins the prostitution.

For some, paying for sex was too much, for others, they just wanted entertainment. So now we put our women on stages and watch them dance naked. But we can't let them work without payment so we make it rain, pouring singles on the stages. Doesn't that qualify as degrading, saying they ain't worth much? Or maybe that's a ploy, saying, "gimme more and I'll stack the bucks"? So we've made them our puppets, just a toy for our gratification, even if it means taking away their dignity and sanctification.

With the rise of technology came new ways to entertain our wildest fantasies and fuel our lusts. So we made our dreams come true, even if only by what we read or what we view. But when all our desires are fulfilled by a screen, our escape becomes our addiction, bringing friction to reality. The intimacy we once pursued is now fulfilled in every view. But it's a trap, an enslavement. A drug with a pull too strong and a high too great. But maybe that's life, showing us how it feels to be enslaved?

So now the victor becomes the victim but the fight remains the same. In order to get back on top, he must find another prey.

This time though, we went from the "lesser gender" to one that's the same. We just picked a different skin color; a different race. Invaded their homeland and became their "king". Only we took them to our land and made them our slaves, but we weren't that cruel, cuz with the men, their families came. Now they're all our prey, but not the kind you eat. Instead we just stripped them of their rights, their dignity, everything they were, including their humanity, cuz they're easier to mistreat if they're less than you and me.

This gave reason to the way we behave so somehow "humanity" only belongs to one race. Or at least that's the lie we sold cuz when you're at the top, you hold all control. We made ourselves gods, yet acted like animals. With no sense, we lived this way for centuries until finally someone was bold enough to stand up and condemn us. But we didn't wanna give it up so we tore the country apart in hopes to keep our rule intact. When the war was lost we couldn't accept the defeat, so we decided to try a different attack. This time it worked cuz it was better than the last. We moved them "from massa's plantation to mass incarceration" by finding ways to keep them chained whether with bars or section 8. We gave them drugs just to lock em up, and treated them as lower class while claiming, "all men were created equal" and equal rights we gave, yet it still felt fake, cuz how we have the same rights, but don't live the same way?

To make matters worse, we didn't stop there. Now we gotta keep others out so our lives won't be taken, neglecting the fact that that's what we did when we stole it from the natives, and failing to see that we still remain when they could've done the same.

If that wasn't enough, this way of life has been brainwashed from generation to generation so that we don't see the reality of our reality as it becomes the norm. And those who question the status quo are looked down upon as if they're to blame for our ways so that we don't have to change.

Think what I'm saying is strange? Then take a lesson from history. This is all fact, undeniably and inadmissibly true. I mean our own national anthem has unsung verses, proving this very thing and we sing it every week as if it was never there, can't you see the system is rigged, or are you too blinded by your privilege to acknowledge our condition?

And before I change the topic, let me end with this. For a land founded as a "safe haven" by those wanting to live out the life given by their Savior, they sure seem mistaken in the way they represented the life they think He gave them.

Now, Yes, I'm a Christian, and claim Jesus as my Savior but when I look at the church, I feel so easily misplaced in.

We claim Jesus is the answer, and Yes, I believe that we've got the true solution to every problem in life, but I ain't just talking bout Christ. I am but I ain't. Cuz just knowing Christ won't make all your problems go away. But that's the lie that they sell us, yet it's only half true cuz there's a difference between having Christ and letting Christ have you.

See most of us are so blinded by the religion we claim to keep that we can't grasp the fact that religion is a trap that'll take you in too deep.

What I mean is this: we're too busy trying to change the world and save the church, that we fail to realize what Jesus did was change the church and the save the world.

Yet, ironically, we're all shaped by the culture that we're supposed to change, but when one of us does, we just throw shade. Judging as if we wouldn't be damned if the Lamb never came, wasn't slain, didn't take 3 nails through His hands and feet. Ain't that what we supposed to be? But it seems to me, we act more like His boots and fists and wonder why they call us hypocrites.

Look I get it, Jesus said the world would hate us and it's pretty obvious they do, but not for the reasons he predicted. He was hated because of His conviction, yet we're all hated because of our depiction.

He said we'd be known by our love for each other, and he saved the world through love, not judgement, yet lived by high standards.

We just love to judge and hate and give our depiction a bad name, when the real problem is the lens through which He's framed.

He's seen as a God of judgement, wrath and hatred yet we claim He's a God of love, peace and compassion for every person in every nation. So when it doesn't add up they blame us and we get mad when they don't listen to the good news we proclaim because we fail to realize how badly we've tainted it.

Amazingly still we can't see our predicament. Blinded by pride, lies, stubbornness and disbelief, we deny the fact that we are the problem and it hasn't gone away.

But it's not just our fault cuz the media's at play and their only goal is for us to see things their way. So they continue to paint the same canvas that we've framed and we can't see this disaster cuz they're good at their game and if it's exposed they'll just create another play, cuz how can you lose when you've got your opponent wrapped in chains?

Now the fact that these issues still exist and you claim to know nothing proves your ignorance and we say ignorance is bliss but the very definition proves that's an ignore-ance so go ahead; ignore this but if you think change is coming without you, you're insane.

Before you rebuke that phrase think of the truth in what I'm saying. The very definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly expecting different results so before you get offended by my insults, look inside to make a revolt because change comes from within so if you want change to come, let the changing begin.

Now, I know, change is hard when you don't know where to end up, but like I said in the beginning, there really isn't one.

See change is only change if it keeps reoccurring. And like I said from the jump, I am on a journey. One that started with change. And if I can change, then so can you. See change is only hard, from the wrong point of view.

When you know the end goal, the struggle becomes easy, or at least easier, because it's only a stepping stone on the path of progress.

So let me craft the lens and help you to process, so you can begin the change toward never ending progress.

The first step to change is acknowledging that you need to and I hope that what I've said will help you see truth.

I hope my journey can be proof for the picture I'm about to paint and help you see that the solution is worth the pain.

We know our life ain't perfect, but we're told that it should be. We're force fed images of what we wish our life could be.

So we mask our imperfections, hiding who we don't want seen. Then we isolate ourselves so we keep the real us unseen.

But Isolation is a killer, yet it's what we're taught as a solution

Because it's easier to fail when you're the only one to see you through it

We're taught perfection is what's acceptable and if we're not we need to fake it

We're taught to cover up our true selves, lie and put the "best us" on the shelf or display case

We don't just cover up to hide for the hell of it

We cover up to disguise the hell we're in

Social networks were meant to keep us all connected, but we just use them to give projections

Showing the life we wish we lived, comparing likes and views as if those portray the way we're liked and viewed

Instead of using Facebook to stay in touch, we use it to put up a fake look

Instagram is full of highlights, but we're the ones that shine the light

We're all fake, stuck behind a screen, acting like it's real life, but the real us is never seen

I get it, the fear of being known. But you're never truly alive, if you're fully in control.

To be fully human is to be fully known. Vulnerability is essential to a life worth living

So we're never fully alive if we're always hidden

Perfection isn't a goal, it's a deadly perception

One that keeps us stuck, better yet imprisoned

Cuz someone's always better

Always more perfect

Let's pull back the curtain, and live a life that's flawed, real, imperfect. Yes it'll hurt, and there'll be pain through the journey. But every scar has a purpose. There's a reason to your pain, but you'll never really see it, if you don't get past the surface.

I'm not exempt, cuz this is still part of my journey. Just a glimpse behind the surface and all the lessons that I'm learning.

So if you really wanna change, it's time for an unmasking, a pulling back of the curtain, a peek into our real lives, moving past the surface.

Once you start to dig, it's clear there's a deeper issue. See the mask isn't just worn, the mask is me and the mask is you.

If we're honest we wear masks to disguise what we don't want seen, but that just means we're hiding our inner selves and it's the mask that people see.

This isn't necessarily an issue if you keep the mask in view, meaning, you make the mask the "real you" But that won't fix the problem, and it'll eat you up inside, because you know deep down, that it's in you where the issues reside.

I know it's a painful process, unmasking what's inside. But what's more painful? Living a lie, or knowing the cure is hindered by your pride?

And yes, I know this is a lot to think about, process and take in, which is why it's best done in stages. And no, this wasn't meant to be the solution; I don't have all the answers. But let this be the beginning; the start of conversations. Cuz the best way to change is to have people to change with.

I too am still learning, growing and changing. And while this journey is life long, it's only as hard as we make it.

So let's do this together, cuz in numbers we're greatest, and there's really no measure to how much better we can make it when we all change into perfect reflections of the One who's image we were made in.

© 2017 David Tyler Shull. All Rights Reserved

Written September 2015 - September 2017.

Finished September 5, 2017

[im0nwpa-blog]

Probably the Best Sex of My Life

Wow. Alright, about 4 months ago I got out of an almost 4 year relationship that was.... well bad. Both of us got out of control and it was mutually abusive (DRUGS ARE BAD). Anyway, it finally ends.

Now, I am pretty timid. It takes a while to open up to new people and I don't really do large gatherings. Unless it's something nerdy like Magic the Gathering night or a LAN party, because I am a) a nerd and b) kind of... lived more than the average comic book shop denizen. Without going too deeply into the way overthought philosophy I have created: I am a hedonist and pursue pleasure, and in order to know if something is pleasurable you have to do it, so if it is safe - or consequences acceptable - then I'm game to at least try. This isnt something I broadcast too heavily, but I do find myself frequently in interesting situations while pursuing pleasure with innately poor autonomy.

It was at one such gathering for MTG Night that I met a girl we'll call Tess about 5 years ago. Something about a combination of huggy bombs, this girl totally fitting my type, and boosted confidence because of the environment I made a total fool of myself because I am terrible as a "pickup artist" of any kind. I dont really know how I've gotten with most women I've been with, it always kind of just happens (or lets be realistic, I had drugs and/or money, low standards, and an addiction to sex).

To describe Tess, she is very thin and tone with small perky breasts, brunette hair, a constantly sing song voice, and an incredibly lovable personality. Very much so a rural, Christian girl who loves her kin and prays before bed, but stills gets down because there isnt much else to do and Jesus forgives. A innocence seemingly beautiful in its purity that I can never help but wanting to show the other side. At least I thought.

Obviously she me down that night, but was really cool about it. We remained friends and humg out/smoked pot from time to time. As our comfort grew, we both became more open about more personal aspects of our life. Mostly that Tess loved sex and had a diversity of partners. I think half of it was an attempt to get my ex gf to dump me. In retrospect it would have made my life easier but thats life: theres a low for every high.

Flash forward to about 2 months ago. Tess wants to fuck a guy with a strapon. She really liked fingering a guy, now she wants to fuck one. Uncharacteristically, I saw I'm down. Fresh out of a relationship, curious, so why not. We still havent ordered the strap, but I think Tiff kind of assumed I was joking.

It comes up a few times, but still no real plan or action. And then last night happened. I get a message around 9pm:

Tess> You should come pick me up at midnight.. we'll go hang out at your trailer for like an hour.

Im0> I can prolly swing that :p

Tess> Be here at midnight!

I picked Tess up from her gas station job. We both admitted we were nervous. I told her this was probably going to be embarassing as I hadn't been laid in a while.

I should note here that for a while I have called my friend Tess a slut. Because she is and that's awesome. If there's informed consent from all parties you do you homegirl, men don't get shamed so women shouldn't either: own that fucking word. We aren't entirely PC people.

We arrived at the trailer and smoked a J to calm down, and it was a little awkward at first, but very quickly we fell into a groove. I had wanted to do this for years. This woman, in my mind gorgeous. I may have had an trusive fantasy or two. All I can say is somehow the fantasy couldn't touch reality.

She laid down on the bed and I awkwardly started teasingly asking her questions running my hand up and down her petite frame as I began teasing and nibbling her neck. She immediately let out a little moan and pushed her hips into me. I teased her, asking if she had been fantasizing about this to which she replied with a coy maybe.

I lifted up her shirt a little and kissed around her tight stomach, making sure to gently graze her panty line. Slowly I pulled down her leggings and underwear another moan escaped her lips.

I let my hands run up and down her long tan legs.i continued my nibbling and kissing on her inner thigh. Her back arched and she tried to shove her pussy toward my face. I sat up, pulling away from her already very wet pussy.

I scooped her up to me and took off her shirt and kept up my assault of nibbles and kisses. She could stop grinding against my leg.

Tess likes dirty talk, I knew this from her stories. I have some experience as a switch. I played with her nipples while commenting on how she was even sexier than I imagined. Her reply was a moan and arching of the back.

"You really like it when I say you're a slut, huh?" Her moans and increased breathimg tell me she does. "You are so fucking wet. I could get you to do anything right now, couldn't I slut?" Among the moans I hear a distinct "MHMM".

I finally make one last teasing run from her neck down. I tried to touch every bit of skin with my lips and tongue. Finally all that is left is her clit. I gently swirled my tongue around it and took it into my mouth and ever so gently suckled. Instantly she was bucking and moaning, loudly! Looking up from between her legs, her dripping pussy soaking my chin, and she came. I suckled just a few seconds longer before sitting up:

"That was so fucking hot. You really are a slut, your pussy soaked my face."

Her response was to pull me down to her, begin sucking on my neck while wrapping her legs around me and wildly humping me.

"Do you want me inside you?"

She let out an exasperated "Yes!"

"Not yet!" I said with a grin. I pushed her hands down and again began sucking on her swolen clit. Teasingly I worked a finger inside of her pussy. Even as turned on as she was, she was very tight. I rubbed those little ridges that are on the "top" and sucked on her clit.

Now I fucking love giving orgasms, and like to think I am a quick study. This girl came so rapidly and so many times I can't really describe it. There was already a wet spot forming on the bed when I finally asked, "Well, wanna see if my dick really is thick, my slave."

She could barely manage a "Yes," in between moans.

"Then beg for my dick slave Tess. Tell me exactly where you want it."

I slipped off my shorts as she breathlessly begged for me to shove my dick into her slut pussy. After watching her buck and squirm and beg to my satisfaction I slowly slid my remarkably averagr cock into the tightest pussy I have ever felt. Every time she orgasmed, which was seemingly with every stroke, shed slam our hips together and shake as her pussy clamped down on my dick. Wel alternated myself on top, sitting, and her on top.

I was in awe of how sexy she was. When I let out a growl she immediately pulled me down on her and squeezed mh dick in her velvet vise.

"Do you like my growling?"

She couldnt halt the moans, but she could nod her head yes while it was buried in my shoulder. Her mouth biting hard trying to suppress one of those super loud moans.

"You can be as loud as you want here, slut. Its kind of cute how you sound like wounded prey, whimpering and breathing so fast."

I slid my hand up to her neck, not doing a blood choke but still firmly placed. I whispered in her ear, "You're my toy now," and let out long low growl and started fucking her hard and fast, slowly gripping the sides of her throat.

This is when something I've always wanted to happen did. She squirted. This has always been a kink of mine. I stopped dead and she kept bucking up, slamming me into her and just shrieking. I began to feel the signs of cumming so I stopped and pulled out. Her hips continued to buck hopelessly.

"Do you swallow, Tess?"

"I can," she replied breathlessly.

"Good," I said as I laid back, "I want you to suck all of your pussy juice off my dick slutslave."

She eagerly complied and toom my whole cock into her mouth. It hardly fit (small mouth) but somehow she managed to cause a ripling sensation along the whole thing. I made her look me in the eye while she sucked my dick.

I spun her around eager to taste her pussy again while she sucked my cock. I noted how her juices dripped from her pussy. I gently pushed against her mouth making my cock go just a little further down her throat and told her how her pussy was dripping. I took her clit into my mouth and buried my face into that warm, wet cave. She had been opened up by my dick, but her legs immediately began to shake. I suck on her clits while running my nails dowm her back and burying my nose in her pussy. My entire face was absoluter covered in her juices when she began to shake and squirted again all over my face.

She began working her tongue around the head of my dick and I experienced a sensation I never have before. The intense pleasure of orgasm with no ejaculation. She kept me in that wonderful state for what seemed like forever before climbing on top of me, looking me dead in the eye and desperately saying, "I need your cum. Now, please."

There was a look of true desperation in her eyes. We were both totally out of breath and covered in all manner of nodily fluids. She rode my dick like a woman possessed. Even now every 7 or 8 thrusts I'd feel that clamping and she'd shove my dick deeper into her to keep it from being forced out.

Now, I kind of have a creampie/preg risk fetish. Newly discovered in the last year. We had agreed I would pull out, but at this point she was just begging me to cum, so I asked where she wanted me to.

She responded breathlessly, "Anywhere." And begind grinding me faster and even harder. I was in ecstasy. She was bucking me so hard and screaming as she came over and over again.

"God I'd love to fill your tight littlr slave pussy with cum."

Another blast of wetness meant that she had just squirted at the thought of me filling her pussy with cum. She collapsed on top of me, totally exhausted.

"Let's get you a drink, and I want to bend you over the couch."

She got up in an almost mesmerized daze and walked the hall. I am reasonably certain this is when she hit subspace. She took a few drinks of water and without being told bent herself ovet the side of the couch.

"Do you really want me to fill you pussy with my cum?" I asked as I lifter her ass up and slide my dick back into her pussy. She whimpered and pushed me deeper into her.

Coming Next Part 2!

[dailyaudiobible]

10/20/2020 DAB Transcript

Jeremiah 35:1-36:32, 1 Timothy 5:1-25, Psalms 89:14-37, Proverbs 25:25-27

Today is the 20th day of October welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today. It is a joy to come around the Global Campfire and take the next step forward, which is what we do every day. And, so, let's dive in. We’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week. Jeremiah, chapters 35 and 36 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for continuing the journey and…and taking us deeper and deeper and deeper into it. We thank You for the admonition to respect those who are older than us, who are before us, who are wiser than us, who have lived longer than us who are brothers and sisters in Christ. We see them as Fathers and mothers and that we should see those that are contemporary with us as brothers and sisters, with all purity, that this is the posture that we have toward one another, the posture of a family and we thank You that You have made us a family, Your family, not just any group of people who have decided to bind themselves together in some sort of family apparatus, Your family on this earth. And, so, Father, it's been a tense year and we've had every opportunity to do anything but treat each other like family. Or maybe we've treated each other like family in our darkest moments but when we’re really after each, when we’re really, really perturbed and the gloves are off but You have invited us to be unified, that You are the head of this household as it were, that You are the Father and that we are Your children and that we submit to You. And, so, as we move forward in these times, these pretty tense tenuous weeks that we find ourselves in, that You bind us together in love, that we treat each other in love, that we do what we do in Your name, that we stop and consider whether or not what we’re doing can be done in Your name because we represent You upon this earth. We are Your children and we are in this together. So, we represent the family, the family of God. And, so, Holy Spirit come and help us to behave appropriately we ask in the precious and mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Community Prayer and Praise:

My name is David Browning from Savannah Georgia and this is my first time calling in and I’m calling in because on October 12th I heard God’s Smiles and I heard her prayer request and I felt…I heard the agony in her voice and I felt the agony in her pain and it brought me to tears and I just…I just prayed for her, I just prayed in agony and…and in tears for her for the relief of her pain. She is…her attitude is so phenomenal, and she is so positive and upbeat and blesses me so much every day. I pray for you God’s Smiles, every day I pray for you and for relief from your pain and for healing for your condition. I love you all DAB. I thank you Brian Hardin and your family for everything you’ve done. The DAB has brought incredible changes in my life in the last six months. I love you all and keep on keeping on. Good night.

This is Valerie calling for the first time from __ Arkansas and I am calling in regard to our 35-year-old son. He is a very good-looking intelligent boy going to respiratory therapy school at the time. He’s had asthma all his life and wants to help others with breathing difficulties but right now he’s in a very dark place mentally. He’s always struggled with anxiety and depression most of his life but right now he says he sees no light at the end of the tunnel and he says his quality of life is so, so bad that he really wants to take his own life. He’s socially isolated taking online classes. His brother has quit having anything to do with him and he just feels like he’s totally alone in this world. He’s not found a suitable woman yet to be a wife. He would love to get married and have children and he’s given up all hope on that. He’s telling me that any day now is going to be his last. As you know, as a mom this is very, very distressing, it’s heartbreaking, it’s crushing. I just appreciate everyone’s prayers for him, and I thank you so much.

Hi DABbers this is Kira from Denver and I put this on Facebook already but I wanted to lead my DAB family know that I did make a huge, huge leap and confronted my boyfriend and said I didn’t want to fornicate anymore but also I didn’t want to get married and I can see us being together forever. He got really really upset. I said…he said I’ll do anything. What can I do to make it better? And I said we need help. But then he switched, started gathering his stuff, and he’s been out and coming back. So, we want prayer for that. But to avoid him yesterday I went on a solo outing myself and I was walking along beautiful area outside Denver sort of mountainous doing a stretch and this woman came…saw me and came up to me and apparently was warning me about stretching like this. Was rare, but you could get hurt. She had torn her clavicle and she was in so much pain for years and years and years, so bummed she couldn’t do yoga anymore to make it better. We started crying and I started telling her about my testimony and my story and my beliefs and we walked together and talked together for a while. I asked her if I could pray for her and she said yes. She said her mom had prayed for her for years and years. She’s a little older…older woman. So just older than me. Anyway, please pray for Tammy. I was thinking a lot of God’s Smile when she was telling me about her pain. Anyway, it was nice to share my testimony through this grief and really hard stuff I’m going through. I love you DABbers…

Dear DAB family this is Dove from Northern California calling on October 14th, 2020. I’ve been a listener for seven years and this podcast has truly changed my life. I suffer from excessive self-reliance and a reluctance to ask for help but God has brought to me my knees with my son’s opioid addiction over the past 15 years. I admit my powerlessness over my son’s addiction. My son has not had faith in God, and he is also felt that he could solve his own problems despite his addiction. However, he has been in jail for the past 18 months and will go before a judge on Monday, November 23rd for sentencing. Since being in jail my son has been a problem the communicative, intelligent, and thoughtful person that he was prior to his addiction. He has expressed gratitude for Bible verses that I send to him. Please pray with me that his court appointed attorney will prepare for the court date thoroughly and will represent my son to the best of his ability. Please also pray that my son will be able to express his remorse and that the judge will find that my son is worthy of a chance at rehabilitation through his placement recommendation after his sentencing. Primarily I ask you DAB family to pray for my son to accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior for him to humble himself before the Lord and for him to accept the forgiveness Jesus offered…offers and for his ultimate redemption. This is a lot to ask in my first call, but I trust that you will include him in your prayers. Thank you DAB.

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Stanley from Maryland. I just wanted to shout out Brian for writing of the book…oh…what’s it called? The God of Your Story, yeah. One-year adventure with the God of Your Story. Man, it’s just incredible to kind of see words on page. I know Brian does a good job of explaining a lot of what we are reading like day after day but I just want to kind give praise for this book because it…it reads less like a book and more like a…man…just…I don’t know how to say it…just a kind of explanation….not an explanation but expanding on the reading and it’s so encouraging to just read after listening to the actual reading. It’s something I can…I can ponder for the rest of the day. I’m a visual person…person, I’d like to think. I learn more visually. So, for me and if you’re…for me it helps and if you’re like…like me and you like to see the words on the paper it helps a lot. And, so, I really appreciate it and…and just want to encourage you as you continue to go through this journey with…with…with the community, pick up the God of Your Story or buy it maybe for a Christmas gift so you can start it next year. It’s not too late and it’s definitely been a blessing in my life. I…I love it and I love the gold little placeholder in the middle, the ribbon. It’s…it’s just…it’s beautiful…it’s a beautiful, beautiful design. All right. Stay humble.

Hello DABbers, this is Kristen Brown at __ Louisiana I’m calling to say we’re about to have a double DABber baby. First, we had a DABber baby __ then we had we had the first grandbaby now we’re about to have a double DABBer baby. Congratulations Jill and Ben. Family I’m calling for prayers for my sister. She’s in the hospital with the virus and she’s in critical condition her name is Janice. Please lift Janice up in your prayers. She desperately needs it because she is in critical condition. Secondly, there’s a gentleman who called in, I think the other day about his abdominal pain after having a surgery and it felt like gas pain __ and I identify with that. Immediately my prayers went out for him. Family I desperately still need prayers…

[anonymoususername123]

Dating in Toronto

In this world of hookup culture we are forgetting who we are.

It’s December of 2019. The year is coming to an end, in fact the decade is coming to an end. In my generation of millennials I think we’re called, ( I’m 32 ), we either have been involved or know someone that’s been involved in the hookup culture that is currently taking over the world.

Gone are the days of loyalty, trust, commitment, and love.

(Edit: Actually that’s not true. It’s been pointed out to me by some friends, and I already knew this too, that there ARE some people in committed, loving, trusting, healthy relationships. I mean romantic ones. Because I have all of the above mentioned things going on with friend relationships. I have just yet to find it in a ROMANTIC way.... I’d like to say I have SOME hope though... anyways read on to get why I’m so jaded)

Although I know the older and last generations have had their share of breakups and divorces, cheating and scandals, side chicks, alimony, and child support.

These tragedies aren’t new.

What is new and still continuing and evolving is the ever present hookup culture.

You can download an app or two, or three, four, fuck there’s so many who can even keep count.

The point is you can download an app, set your preference, and boom by 11pm that night you’re fucking someone you just met, on an app, literally hours before.

You don’t know them and they don’t know you. You go for coffee, but it’s not really coffee. It’s them picking you up, grabbing a hot chocolate at 10:30pm at night, and going for a drive in their car ( this has happened to me many a times). You then realize ah shit I fucked up, I’m stuck in a strangers car, who is now chain smoking for whatever reason, and then you go park in a deserted parking lot, to sit and get to know each other and make small talk.

Now I know most of you are thinking no way, this can’t be real, who stoops to that level of getting a Tim Hortons hot chocolate between 10:30-11pm at night with a total stranger to then go sit in their car and hope to God they don’t murder you.

But this is real life.

I’ve used Tinder, POF, OkCupid. I downloaded Bumble & Hinge and deleted immediately. I also think I tried something called “Happn” which I also deleted.

I’ve made an account on Seeking Arrangements just for the hell of it ( fuck I really hope I deleted my account oh man). I’ve joined Match for its like one month gig. I’ve joined Christian Mingle YEARS ago only to talk to some horny Italian guy that clearly was on the right site ( insert my VERY DISTINCT sarcasm please.)

It’s interesting because

You lose yourself in it all.

Somewhere someway somehow you allow people into your life you never in a million years think you would. You say and do shit you never thought you would.

You tolerate the weirdest and strangest shit.

Not once but at least.... four times I’ve been picked up by a guy in his car just to drive around, go park, talk, and then they wanna have sex.

I was once, no twice, master manipulated into having sex with a guy I suspect was married, in his van. It was scary. Horrifying. Terrifying. I went against my gut instinct. I went against my vibes. I’ve put myself in quite dangerous and scary situations.

I’ve let men into my life, into my body, I absolutely should never in my life have done so.

I can’t blame my daddy issues, my daddy issues are maybe the root of my issues with men. But my behaviour is something I have to own up to. My patterns, my habits, my inability to catch the players and walk away, block, delete, sooner than meeting up with them, that is on me.

So here I am now just reflecting back on this decade. In this decade I started it off dating someone that was toxic, unwell, borderline abusive. It never starts that way, and then next thing you know I ended up in a psych ward cause I tried to kill myself. The psychiatrist then tells you that one day the memories will fade away until they’re all gone. And it’s true. And he was one of the best psychiatrists I’ve ever met. And I cried when I heard he’s taking a sabbatical to work on something else. All the while knowing this is life. I’m sick. I’ll get better. And this was years ago.

And I slowly get better after that.

But I start using the dating apps. I’m single and vulnerable. I’m a social work student. I’m doing my placement, I’m going through school. I start working at a movie theatre.

My attachment issues, my mental health issues, my DADDY ISSUES, I don’t wanna deal with them. I know I have to. Maybe they’ll go away.

I had previously gotten clean, off drugs and alcohol. So I keep going to meetings.. NA meetings.. at one point I get a sponsor I start step work, I give up, not because I didn’t want to work on my recovery... I just stop using that sponsor. No hard feelings.

Fast forward to now. December 2019. For the last seven years of being single I’ve fucked countless guys... I’ve gone on some weird ass dates and some OK dates. I’ve tried to be non judgemental... I’ve been judgemental... people are... fucked lol.

I fucked a Ryan Gosling lookalike.

A guy I went to high school with.

Many other guys who shall remain nameless. Security guards, guys from NA, guys I met online. Boys boys boys boys.

I’ve gotten attached. I’ve cried, obsessed, blocked and unblocked so many times I have driven myself absolutely insane.

I was taken advantage of. In a van. I blocked that guy by the way... fairly sure he’s a predator... like I said.. some scary scary shit!

I’ve been reckless, not safe enough.

I’ve invited guys over. I’ve had one night stands. I’ve probably broken hearts, I’ve had my heart broken.

Then I meet a couple guys over the last year. One stood out. He was SO good looking in my eyes.. but SO unwell. I dropped every standard known to mankind and hooked up with him. He was F U C K E D up. We eventually end things.. stop talking or seeing each other. In Feb 2019 we randomly see each other ( after having first met each other in March/April 2018) on the subway, he comes over, we fuck. I never hear from him again. I see him on the subway platform a couple weeks later holding hands with a girl. We spot each other. I’m almost near the end of the platform. So he moves to the left, towards more of the centre. The train comes and we all get on. I’m fuming. Raging. I start voicenoting my friends, yelling loudly so he can hear me.. he’s further down the train than where I am. “THIS FUCKING GUY, I JUST FUCKED HIM AND HERE HE IS WITH A NEW GIRL, HOLDING HER HAND, THIS IS MADNESS”.

People are staring. I look crazy. We get off at the same stop. During the train ride They FOR SURE could hear me but they had their heads down, they’re talking, holding hands, ignoring the crazy bitch yelling into her phone about some guy she fucked that has the AUDCITY to board her train with a new girlfriend. Once we all get off, they’re up ahead of me and I eventually lose them. I call my mom and I’m SCREAMING into the phone. But.. who even cares? All that anger, rage & resentment, for what? We weren’t close. Or dating. I was nothing to him. When all I want is to be something to someone.

Basically... I’m sick of this shit. Sick of being nothing to no one. Just a sexual object, most likely a side chick, no trust or respect.

Some have taken me on proper dates.

Dinner. Movies.

Dinner.

Coffee shop.

But the mass majority have been flimsy, stupid, regrettable, one night stands that require more work on my part- I have laundry I end up having to do the next day... mixed with trying to wash all the shame and guilt off of me from my poor choices from the previous night.

It’s like we’ve become transactions with each other.

Some guy I just fucked last night was all “Oh no, I REALLY wanna get to know you, you’re one of the hottest girls on POF right now”

Buddy you don’t wanna get to know me you want to get to know my vagina. PUSSY. You wanna say HIIIIIIIII and REALLY get to know not me as a person but me as my VAGINA.

And it’s like SERIOUSLY?

Why can’t we be straightforward. Why do we lie.. to ourselves.. and each other.. it’s like I’ve convinced myself I’m either not worthy of love and respect or I’ve just given up on it as if it doesn’t exist anymore.

Siblings that are older.. all divorced or about to be. A couple still together. But one pair fights and fights and fights.

Is that love? Is that respect? Is that what a relationship is now? Still?

We can order food, products, and people to our door within a matter of minutes but at what cost?

You’re not paying me for sex but should you be?

I’ve often thought maybe I should dabble in being an escort. I’d get paid. And have sex. Because what’s the difference in what I’m doing besides absolutely nothing except that I’m not getting paid and sex workers are.

I’m having meaningless, pointless, regrettable sex that is oftentimes worth the orgasm but not the emotional turmoil I put myself through after.

I’ve definitely used sex the way I once upon a time used drugs and alcohol. I HATE admiting I’m a sex addict. I don’t crave it.. I don’t NEED it. But I do it anyways. When I’m sad, depressed, stressed. I want sex. I don’t want the guy or the drama or stress or relationship. I wanna exert my feminine power and fuck you til we both orgasm.

But... it doesn’t always work out that way. I may use guys for sex.. but they use me right back lol.

I have to delete the memories from my head and keep moving forward.

I met a guy this summer. At a Tim Hortons. There were vibes lol.

I could tell he was a player, manipulative. We exchanged numbers. To this day ( six months later ) we still chat. He left the city for months and is now back.

He’s put me down, about my faith & beliefs, my career, and just me as a person. He’s pissed me off and I’ve told him off. I’ve blocked and unblocked him so many times over the last few months, even without seeing him in person, only to unblock and message him again. He’s rude, narcissistic, a fucking prick. He doesn’t think, honestly, of literally anyone else except him and his daughter. He makes excuses and has stories for days. He’s been so rude to me so many times and yet I STILLLL wanna talk to him. I STILL want him to like me, want me, date me. Treat me nicer than he’s treated me.. actually talk to me with respect. Not lead me on leave me on read for hours at end to just come back around when he feels like it.

But, here I am, entertaining this fucking douche bag because I’m bored, lonely, depressed.

My dad just died. A month and a half ago. I know, you’re probably thinking Jesus, this girls life is DRAMA! It is. I’ll end this blog post here, for now, and finish all the rest of my stories later.

With my Dad passing its opened me up again. Made me a bit a softer. More self aware. More in tune with my emotions and what the fuck I want, what the fuck I’m doing. Everyone’s always told me how to act and what to do my whole Life, or at least that’s how it’s felt ( even though it’s not exactly true).

These experiences shape you, mould you, change you from the inside out.

I’ll get rid of all these fuckboys.

Everyone says oh just wait, the right person will come along. But will they? Will they really? Where’s the stats and proof and logistics of it? I mean sure I live in a big huge city so I will definitely meet SOMEONE one day but how? Where? Why are we told to just have blind faith this will happen.

Whoever made up that saying and these expressions and thought pattern is a fucking moron. We date and fuck who we either meet in person or meet online. There’s really no in between. But meeting people in person.. who, what, where, when, and how?

I’ll get back to you guys on all the rest of my wild life and stories and thoughts.

Blessings to all for now,

Anonymous Dater in Toronto

[menphinaschevalier]

LGBTQ+ Awareness Regarding Jehovah's Witnesses

June is LGBT Pride month, chosen to commemorate the riots of Stonewall, which occurred in 1969. June is a month of recognition for those within the LGBTQ+ community, a time were we celebrate who we are, remember the freedoms won in past and those we presently fight for. It's a month when all of this, these issues we face everyday, are highlighted with more focus by those outside our community and so this June I have the aim to do what I can to spotlight an issue that is largely unknown to be the danger that it truly is.

As an LGBT person who was born into and raised in a Jehovah's Witness family, I have both experienced and witnessed the damaging effects of the cult’s culture, particularly pertaining to homosexuality.

Most people know Jehovah's Witnesses as the conservative Christian religion most likely to be responsible for walking you up on a Saturday morning with a knock on your door. If you live in a metropolitan area, you might have noticed them standing beside a cart of Watchtower literature, or seen a big blue square bumper sticker on someone's car with the message 'JW.ORG'.

What most people do not know is that might seem as an orderly sect of Christianity is in reality a high-control cult, making use of hallmarks such as lovebombing, thought policing, brainwashing, isolation and shunning. Here is the video shown at the 2016 conventions, used as a model example of how to treat those who leave the Organization. Click here for the full video, or here for the video plus commentary by an ex-JW former Elder and author.

These practices are what make the Jehovah's Witnesses Organization particularly lethal to its members, including those who are LGBTQ. The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, also known simply and ominously as The Organization, have always held the stance that homosexuality is a sin forbidden by the bible not unlike many other sects of fundamentalist Christianity. However, due to its extreme policies, the repercussions are often more severe. In recent years, there has been a visible increase of information fed to members reminding them of the deplorable nature of homosexuality, encouraging them to see LGBT persons as sub-human, and reminding them that a person's sexual orientation is a choice or habit that can be broken as a person would seek anger management for their temper.

To make a comparison, you could say: “You know, many claim that violent behavior can have a genetic root and that as a result, some people are predisposed to it. (Proverbs 29:22) What if that was true? As you might know, the Bible condemns fits of anger. (Psalm 37:8; Ephesians 4:31) Is that standard unfair just because some may be inclined toward violence?”

The above is quoted from Young People Ask: How Can I Explain the Bible’s View of Homosexuality? which you can read for yourself here, on JW.org. 

As part of this year's District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses, three day conventions where members listen to talks and symposiums, a three part video drama will be shown entitled 'Remember the Wife of Lot'. Among the mess of poorly directed, problematic content are segments which remind convention attendees that homosexuality is condemned by God and by any faithful follower. These segments are shot in a way that dehumanizes the three visible gay characters in the drama, both a gay couple shown on television and the gay assistant of the titular character shown with only the backs of their heads visible, even when interacting and speaking for a prolonged period of time on screen. These are unmistakably deliberate choices directed from the Organization with the aim of encouraging and programming its members not to simply disagree with the 'homosexual lifestyle' but to view LGBT persons as a subhuman, alien group whose relationships revolve solely around lust.

Here is a short video that specifically calls out the main scenario where homosexuality is highlighted in the drama, though the strange ‘back of the head’ framing involving Gloria’s gay assistant takes place in the end of the third part. You can watch the full drama here.

This is an attitude that has loomed over the Jehovah's Witnesses culture decades, one that was actively present in the congregation I grew up in. A woman from a generational family of Witnesses had decided to live a celibate life, resisting her 'sinful nature' so she could remain a member of the Organization and keep contact with her family. Dispute her adherence to scripture, she was socially marked by her fellow members as 'bad association', treated marginally better than someone to be shunned. Comments such as 'I cannot wait until all the gay people are killed in Armageddon' are not uncommon to overhear in conversations, and any mention of homosexuality during the weekly congregation meetings beckoned attendees to express the depths of their disdain.

I cannot emphasize enough the emotional and mental damage that this can cause a person. As a social system that is set up to trap its members from any escape, any LGBT person within the Organization is under the constant oppression of knowing how disgusting their existence is to their only community.

As a Jehovah's Witness, you are expressly disallowed to have any close contact with individuals outside the Organization, or as they are labeled and known by members, ‘worldly people’. Anyone outside the Organization is routinely villainized as a dangerous threat at worst, possible convert at best, with no room for coexistence or agreeing to disagree.

Your entire world is confined other Jehovah's Witnesses, all of whom are likely to report you for anything you might confide 'for your own good'. It is, after all, a doomsday cult who believe that when Armageddon comes all non-Jehovah’s Witnesses will be executed by divine wrath. 

If you are someone born into the faith like I was, it's often the case that most of your family will be in the cult and pressure you into baptism, from which point you are trapped. Being brought up in this environment is extremely toxic to anyone, but can be especially poignant when you are gay. There is no safe way to ensure that you have any outlet. You are boxed in with a culture that is actively brainwashing your loved ones to loathe you, while you yourself have been brainwashed into believing the only good and kind people in the entire world are your fellow Jehovah's Witnesses.

The woman whom I spoke of earlier eventually stopped coming to our Congregation, along with her family. I like to think she found all the happiness she deserved and was denied, but I have no idea where she is or what happened to her. I hope that she was fortunate enough to find a support system outside the cult. Too many times there are instances of homelessness, drug addiction and suicide that stem from the incredible stress and emotional devastation of losing your entire social circle in the blink of an eye. There are countless stories of abandoned Witnesses who in desperation and grief turn to harmful alternatives for comfort, and these same accounts are waved in the faces of their friends and family as an ‘I told you so!’ by the Organization.

How do you help someone in such a tightly controlled situation? Spread the word: There are resources and websites that compile the corruption of the Watchtower Organization, but it is still a mostly unknown problem, particularly within the U.S. The more attention that can be brought to the truth of the cult, the harder it will be for Watchtower to keep its members in the dark. Jehovah's Witnesses are not allowed to read anything about their religion outside of the Organization’s published and approved material. One of the best ways to dismantle the harmful behavior in this Organization is to draw enough attention to its harmful practices on a large enough scale that its practically impossible to avoid. 

Be patient, be kind: Remember you are dealing with victims of a cult who have been brainwashed into believing every single person who is not a fellow Witnesses is a danger to them. Remember that this applies to everyone inside the cult, parents and children, young and old. 

Provide resources, if you can: A lot of Witnesses might not know about resources like suicide prevention hotlines, shelters or even therapy. The degree to which someone has been isolated 'from this system of things' can vary severely, with some families deciding against any sort of help outside Elders at their Kingdom Halls, and therefore never educating their children that there IS alternative aid outside the religion. 

Absolutely do not express your anger towards their religion: Even while I was living with my partner, states away from my controlled environment, it took months before I was able to even begin coming to terms with the truth about what I had known as ‘The Truth.’ Any hostile action, including blunt facts about the cult, can be seen as validation for worldly people being cruel, evil imps whose only goal is to lead them astray from the righteous path of everlasting life. Remember that most Witnesses have been brainwashed into really believing this doctrine, even if they are terrified and miserable living as a Witness, no matter how strange or insane some of their beliefs might seem. 

I am alive today because I was fortunate enough to find a source outside Jehovah’s Witnesses who simply by being themselves, planted enough seeds of doubt about the Organization for me to survive the constant assault of worthlessness and self-hate I was programmed to feel everyday. 

I am alive today despite having my own mother assist me with attempted suicide, because it would have been ‘better’ for me to die then as I was, a scared 16 year old who had admitted to being gay, than for me to continue living and be killed at Armageddon for that same crime. 

I am lucky, but there are so many out there silently suffering everyday, inside and outside the LGBTQIA+ community. Please, take a moment to think of those inside your community this Pride month and if you know of any LGBT+ Witnesses, young or old, take a moment to let them know you love them and they are not alone. 

[donheisenberg]

Top 10 Worst Seasons of Great Shows:

As a TV fanatic I am all too familiar with shows I like or even love staying on the air too long and undoing whatever legacy they may have had. Dexter, How i Met Your Mother, Homeland, the list goes on but what is more rare is a great show having a bad season but making a full recovery.  Here is a list of ten sub-par-genuinely awful.

Here goes.

No 10) The Shield S6: Okay this is a bit of a harsh inclusion, season 6 of The Shield is sandwiched in-between the show’s excellent fifth season and all time great final season and it can’t help but feel like filler. Okay filler is maybe the wrong word but the sixth season feels like ten episodes of table-setting, part one of a huge final season if you will. A necessary if quite underwhelming 10 hours of a great show.

No 9) Orange is the New Black S3: Season 5 has divided opinion but by far Orange’s worst season was its third. Like The Shield’s sixth season Orange’s third is placed in-between the show’s two best season. That fact tells you something about the faults of this season, it is a deeply transitional run of episodes. In each of the show’s first couple seasons it was structured around a villain who was an inmate but in the show’s latest seasons it has become more about institutional failures and the third season has to carry the weight of that transition. It also struggles with the same tonal inconsistencies that the show has always had but even by Orange standards season 3 is way too silly. 

No 8) Game of Thrones S5: The first three entries here are not flat out bad, they are all just a fair bit below the general quality of the show in question. When it aired season 5 of Thrones annoyed the hell out of me. I had so many issues with it that I can’t recall all of them, but it is worth saying that in the show’s solid sixth season it amended some of those flaws and season 5 also includes the episode Hardhome, arguably the show’s finest. Having said that there are some tremendously misguided narrative choices in season 5 none more so than Sansa’s rape story which goes to underline so many of the show’s greater issues.

No 7) Parks and Recreation S1: I knew the deal when I binged Parks, the first season is not great but is short and from the beginning of the second season it is all time great sitcom, but getting through that first season was still a bit of a slog. Like a lot of the seasons on this list the problems have been pretty well documented, it was trying too hard to be The Office and the show is so much more unnecessarily cynical than what it would become. The characters are all ostensibly different to what they would be from that point onward and thank god because season 1 of Parks was not the show we all came to love.

No 6) Twin Peaks S2: The opening episodes of season 2 of Lynch game-changing drama are almost as strong as the show’s superior first season but from the moment the Laura Palmer mystery is resolved the show goes from bad to worse. It recovers just in time for the finale (which is the only episode after Leland dies that Lynch was involved in) but in between that are some 15 episodes of near unwatchable quality. 25 years on and the reboot has largely been a success (I’m still awaiting the end of it before I give my full verdict on the reboot) but it is almost incomprehensible how awful most of season 2 is.

No 5) Seinfeld S1: As this list shows it can take time for some sitcoms to settle in and there is few better examples than Seinfeld. Undoubtedly one of the greatest sitcoms ever the first season of Seinfeld feels like a special feature on the boxset DVD. Five episodes long, complete with missing characters (Elaine does not come in for a couple episodes) and a lack of jokes, this is a very embryonic version of the show. In many ways it was more the show about nothing here than it ever would be again. David and Seinfeld had not formulated the four stories connect in surprising ways formula that served the show so well and the episode have a really sense of ennui to them that is not conducive to laughs.

No 4) The Simpsons S1: While people might argue that The Simpsons have had 10 or even twenty bad seasons I think that when we consider its first 8 or 9 years there is no getting around the fact that the first season does belong alongside the ones that followed it. Like Seinfeld the first season feels very embryonic and a kind of bad approximation of what the show actually is. There are still episodes I like, notably Life on the Fast Lane, but none of it really feels like The Simpsons as we know it.

No 3) Justified S5) Possibly the best example of a truly anomalous bad season. Justified is one of the most consistent shows ever, except for its fifth season. There are two big issues with the fifth season, first being the villain. Season after season Justified perfectly cast its antagonist and it would again in its brilliant final season as Sam Elliot joined proceedings, but they got it badly wrong here with Michael Rapport. Outside of the villains you also had the awful Ava in prison plot. While that plot would ultimately payoff in the final season, it does not change the fact that every minute of that plot was excruciatingly misjudged. 

No 2) Community S4) Okay this is the worst season on this list, it only fails to come first because I’m not sure Community ever fully recovered (the last couple season are good and have great episodes but are a mixed bag all the same), nonetheless I found this an unwatchable season of TV (I could not get through most episodes). The absence of Dan Harmon gave the season a cover band feel, or rather it was like watching The Doors after Jim Morrison died and they no longer had that voice and those words. Still six seasons and a movie and all that.

No 1) Friday Night Lights S2: This is my favorite worst season of TV ever. Like Justified FNL was one of the most consistent dramas on TV and after its season long misstep it got straight back into the groove, but wow what a misstep. FNL season 2 is comically bad. I’m not sure there is a single point in there that is not ludicrously misjudged. Landry killed a guy gets all the attention but that is ignoring Santiago (never to be seen again) the booze cruise, Lyra the born again Christian, the Swede, Matt and his Latino nurse (who has a suitably Poochie-espue exit from the show), the robbery of a meth addict and ferret owner and probably a whole lot of other shit my subconscious is choosing to hold back. Plus one episode ends with Julie Taylor doing a public information broadcast about driving cars safely. Having said that there is one great scene between Saracen and Coach late in the season but still season 2 is wonderfully awful.

[enouragement-blog]

Problem people

We should love everyone, and put forth an effort to be at peace at all times with all people, creating peace where there isn’t, and being willing to be the person who is offended. This post is in no way intending to remove Jesus’ instruction that we will be known as Christians by our love. However, if you have been in ministry for any amount of time, you know that there are some people who are just... difficult. Typically they are upper middle class and white, but not always depending on your area and the history. What is the purpose of this post? So you do no ensnare yourself by putting a “problem person” (someone who creates problems and demands their own way) in a leadership position, compromise your mission for the sake of pacifying them, or be surprised at their (usual) betrayal. Don’t see *some people* as enemies, don’t prejudge people, don’t give up on people, and see betrayal behind every face. But also don’t be naive and think that people who have been playing the church game will change over a few months or years. They will expect you to be the same as the church they were at with the best and longest memories, or they will treat your church like a mall established solely for their pleasure. And, not finding what they’re looking for, they will go to the next church and the next one. So these problem people, what are they like?

*Just because someone does these things doesn’t make them one of those immovable pillars of complaint and dissatisfaction, but those who are like that will usually do these things*

- They try and control the heater. Don’t ask me why. They think they speak for everyone and that you are too stupid to know if it should be turned up or down. This small thing becomes a big opportunity for a power struggle.

- They oppose direction. It doesn’t necessarily matter if it’s a heretical direction or not, they just oppose your church running well, having a point, having guidelines, having clearly defined what makes success and failure, having plans for where to take the church, refusing waste of resource ministries that don’t support the church’s directions, and refusing some based on their inability to meet that standard. Maybe it’s because they weren’t consulted, maybe it’s because their core values (politics for instance) are not being addressed by the church’s core value (reaching the lost for instance).

- They think they need to have a say in everything, and they question everything-not in a healthy sort or “conversational” way, but in a sort of challenging way. They see themselves as wardens to take the church back to some golden age that probably never really existed. It could be centered around a previous pastor, a happy memory, a place they moved from, or someone who used to be in the church. Sometimes they try to get onto committees or boards so they can 1. insure the forward momentum is not achieved 2. try to protect the church from the pastor rather than support his vision 3. protect the finances from some perceived threat that may happen in the next 50 years rather than based off actual merit or history at the current location 4. maintain some level of control.

- They are focused on the good ol’ days and will do anything to take the church back there. They see it as a museum they have to protect from the world rather than God’s hands and feet that have to love and serve the least. Everything is focused on the building: all ministries and expenses have to be in the church and for the church. 

- They don’t see ministry to people as part of their calling. In fact, they usually won’t stick with ministries that require them to serve and love people in general and especially ministries where they have to do something for the good of someone they think is lower than them - such as drug addicts. They usually won’t do food pantries, widow’s services, kids activities and so on for long if they do it at all, but they will be the first to clean toilets and pick up trash, or set up for events. One thing I do is I leave little tests. Especially if you are thinking of putting someone in leadership, put them in situations that you can test them or the situation will test them. You want to know how they handle conflict and irritants, because your church depends on it. They need to be paying tithes, a member, going for at least 3 years, observed through conflict, involved, supportive in someone else’s ministry continually, BEFORE they are put into leadership or allowed to start a new ministry. Don’t put someone in leadership so that they will grow, to pacify them, or without being sure of their character. I put a few broken picks on the floor where I played. Every week, they would pick them up and put them on my music stand. Every week I would put them back on the floor. We repeated this every week. They were the same 3 picks every week. Why did I do this? Because I suspected that they were problem people. How did my test show me that? Because they weren’t willing to talk to me about why I put it on the floor, nor to throw it away, nor to leave it alone. They had to do things their way. They would never talk with me about the picks either. So what did I do? After I had my answer, I threw the picks away and started praying hard specifically for them. I saw warning signs in their character and service, and I prayed that they would change before they caused a problem, that their bad attitude wouldn’t spread, and that my attitude would improve and that the leadership wouldn’t get bitter towards them. 

- They typically see their resources as a gift from God, as they themselves are, and they will withhold finances and other support if you don’t cave to their demands. They won’t say it like that though. They’ll say that they don’t agree with your decision (as though any 2 people agree on anything), and they will have a long list of grievances that they will make sound worse than they really are. Then they will talk to others so they can say “I’m not the only one that feels this way”. Upon closer inspection, they will not be able to give clear moral critique, but just twisted stories and what “they felt like” was being said or done. If you say anything to them, they will instantly be defensive, but you better be happy and a yes man all the time.

- They are maintenance and preservation minded. If they were a company, they would be blockbuster: they want to have a lot of options that got them where they are 20 years ago, but they don’t want to adapt, change, or expand. They typically want to do the same things they’ve always done (read the bible 30 minutes a day and go to church on the weekend) and expect it to be good enough and even take them to where they’ve never been before.

- They typically get stuck in ruts. An example would be that they only like songs from their childhood that they have been singing all their lives. In fact, problem people will try and get on the worship team as either a singer or a pianist usually, and they will push against new songs, complain about new songs, and glorify hymns and how they relate to whatever situation they are going through. Obviously there is nothing wrong with old songs, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep the music stuck in the 50′s while the culture is almost 100 years ahead. If anyone says any comment whether positive, neutral, or negative about the music it will be them even if nobody else says anything.

- They will find online resources that agree with their own views and then regurgitate them as fact without any understand of history, languages, or theology.

- They see relevance, bridge-building, and engagement with the culture as evil, and the church must be as they used to be when from a certain era that they cling to, be it the 1950′s, the 1800s or whenever.

- They usually sit in the same spot every week, assume everyone knows its theirs, refuse to move, and get angry with those who sit in their assigned seats. New people are more of an irritant than anything.

- They have frequent complaints but very few praises. Everyone could be doing a better job except for them. Pacifying them won’t work. It may temporarily divert complaints, but they will resurface. When they do, you will have lost your forward momentum, your honor, and your purpose for no reason. There will always be something else, always a conflict, always something that they need to stick their nose in.

- They are more severe than the biblical Law. Preferences are exalted over morals, and they are always weighing others. People oftentimes become nothing more than positive and negative signs, not just for them but for other who get caught up or betrayed by them. Everyone starts reducing people to what they can personally be profited by having them in their lives.

- Don’t ever assume the spouse isn’t like them. If they have been married for any length of time, they have rubbed off on each other. Don’t judge someone else for the actions of one, but don’t foolishly judge without any test whatsoever. 

- They have cliques or create cliques of people who will agree with them on issues that usually don’t have anything to do with the mission of the church. 

Did I mention they complain a lot? There is more that could be said, but you get the point. Just because you are a small church doesn’t mean you should compromise purpose, vision, direction, and mission for the sake of keeping one or two. How do I know these things? I’ve been in ministry over 15 years. When you do something for 15 years, you pick up on stuff. Some problem people change (but not few), some people become problem people. It is not your job to change them. You give opportunity, you teach, you love, you serve, you protect. But it’s their job to change. And if they weren’t willing to let God change them, there’s no change you ever had in changing them.

[dailyofficereadings]

Daily Office Readings December 22, 2019 at 11:00PM

Psalm 61-62

Psalm 61

Assurance of God’s Protection

To the leader: with stringed instruments. Of David.

1 Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. 2 From the end of the earth I call to you, when my heart is faint.

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I; 3 for you are my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.

4 Let me abide in your tent forever, find refuge under the shelter of your wings.Selah 5 For you, O God, have heard my vows; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

6 Prolong the life of the king; may his years endure to all generations! 7 May he be enthroned forever before God; appoint steadfast love and faithfulness to watch over him!

8 So I will always sing praises to your name, as I pay my vows day after day.

Psalm 62

Song of Trust in God Alone

To the leader: according to Jeduthun. A Psalm of David.

1 For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. 2 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall never be shaken.

3 How long will you assail a person, will you batter your victim, all of you, as you would a leaning wall, a tottering fence? 4 Their only plan is to bring down a person of prominence. They take pleasure in falsehood; they bless with their mouths, but inwardly they curse.Selah

5 For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him. 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. 7 On God rests my deliverance and my honor; my mighty rock, my refuge is in God.

8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.Selah

9 Those of low estate are but a breath, those of high estate are a delusion; in the balances they go up; they are together lighter than a breath. 10 Put no confidence in extortion, and set no vain hopes on robbery; if riches increase, do not set your heart on them.

11 Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God, 12 and steadfast love belongs to you, O Lord. For you repay to all according to their work.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Psalm 112

Psalm 112

Blessings of the Righteous

1 Praise the Lord! Happy are those who fear the Lord, who greatly delight in his commandments. 2 Their descendants will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches are in their houses, and their righteousness endures forever. 4 They rise in the darkness as a light for the upright; they are gracious, merciful, and righteous. 5 It is well with those who deal generously and lend, who conduct their affairs with justice. 6 For the righteous will never be moved; they will be remembered forever. 7 They are not afraid of evil tidings; their hearts are firm, secure in the Lord. 8 Their hearts are steady, they will not be afraid; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes. 9 They have distributed freely, they have given to the poor; their righteousness endures forever; their horn is exalted in honor. 10 The wicked see it and are angry; they gnash their teeth and melt away; the desire of the wicked comes to nothing.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Psalm 115

Psalm 115

The Impotence of Idols and the Greatness of God

1 Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness. 2 Why should the nations say, “Where is their God?”

3 Our God is in the heavens; he does whatever he pleases. 4 Their idols are silver and gold, the work of human hands. 5 They have mouths, but do not speak; eyes, but do not see. 6 They have ears, but do not hear; noses, but do not smell. 7 They have hands, but do not feel; feet, but do not walk; they make no sound in their throats. 8 Those who make them are like them; so are all who trust in them.

9 O Israel, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield. 10 O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield. 11 You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield.

12 The Lord has been mindful of us; he will bless us; he will bless the house of Israel; he will bless the house of Aaron; 13 he will bless those who fear the Lord, both small and great.

14 May the Lord give you increase, both you and your children. 15 May you be blessed by the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

16 The heavens are the Lord’s heavens, but the earth he has given to human beings. 17 The dead do not praise the Lord, nor do any that go down into silence. 18 But we will bless the Lord from this time on and forevermore. Praise the Lord!

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Zephaniah 3:14-20

A Song of Joy

14 Sing aloud, O daughter Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter Jerusalem! 15 The Lord has taken away the judgments against you, he has turned away your enemies. The king of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; you shall fear disaster no more. 16 On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands grow weak. 17 The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a warrior who gives victory; he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will renew you[a] in his love; he will exult over you with loud singing 18 as on a day of festival.[b] I will remove disaster from you,[c] so that you will not bear reproach for it. 19 I will deal with all your oppressors at that time. And I will save the lame and gather the outcast, and I will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth. 20 At that time I will bring you home, at the time when I gather you; for I will make you renowned and praised among all the peoples of the earth, when I restore your fortunes before your eyes, says the Lord.

Footnotes:

Zephaniah 3:17 Gk Syr: Heb he will be silent

Zephaniah 3:18 Gk Syr: Meaning of Heb uncertain

Zephaniah 3:18 Cn: Heb I will remove from you; they were

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Titus 1

Salutation

1 Paul, a servant[a] of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, for the sake of the faith of God’s elect and the knowledge of the truth that is in accordance with godliness, 2 in the hope of eternal life that God, who never lies, promised before the ages began— 3 in due time he revealed his word through the proclamation with which I have been entrusted by the command of God our Savior,

4 To Titus, my loyal child in the faith we share:

Grace[b] and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior.

Titus in Crete

5 I left you behind in Crete for this reason, so that you should put in order what remained to be done, and should appoint elders in every town, as I directed you: 6 someone who is blameless, married only once,[c] whose children are believers, not accused of debauchery and not rebellious. 7 For a bishop,[d] as God’s steward, must be blameless; he must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or addicted to wine or violent or greedy for gain; 8 but he must be hospitable, a lover of goodness, prudent, upright, devout, and self-controlled. 9 He must have a firm grasp of the word that is trustworthy in accordance with the teaching, so that he may be able both to preach with sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict it.

10 There are also many rebellious people, idle talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision; 11 they must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for sordid gain what it is not right to teach. 12 It was one of them, their very own prophet, who said,

“Cretans are always liars, vicious brutes, lazy gluttons.”

13 That testimony is true. For this reason rebuke them sharply, so that they may become sound in the faith, 14 not paying attention to Jewish myths or to commandments of those who reject the truth. 15 To the pure all things are pure, but to the corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure. Their very minds and consciences are corrupted. 16 They profess to know God, but they deny him by their actions. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.

Footnotes:

Titus 1:1 Gk slave

Titus 1:4 Other ancient authorities read Grace, mercy,

Titus 1:6 Gk husband of one wife

Titus 1:7 Or an overseer

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Luke 1:1-25

Dedication to Theophilus

1 Since many have undertaken to set down an orderly account of the events that have been fulfilled among us, 2 just as they were handed on to us by those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and servants of the word, 3 I too decided, after investigating everything carefully from the very first,[a] to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, 4 so that you may know the truth concerning the things about which you have been instructed.

The Birth of John the Baptist Foretold

5 In the days of King Herod of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly order of Abijah. His wife was a descendant of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. 6 Both of them were righteous before God, living blamelessly according to all the commandments and regulations of the Lord. 7 But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were getting on in years.

8 Once when he was serving as priest before God and his section was on duty, 9 he was chosen by lot, according to the custom of the priesthood, to enter the sanctuary of the Lord and offer incense. 10 Now at the time of the incense offering, the whole assembly of the people was praying outside. 11 Then there appeared to him an angel of the Lord, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. 12 When Zechariah saw him, he was terrified; and fear overwhelmed him. 13 But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will name him John. 14 You will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, 15 for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He must never drink wine or strong drink; even before his birth he will be filled with the Holy Spirit. 16 He will turn many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. 17 With the spirit and power of Elijah he will go before him, to turn the hearts of parents to their children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” 18 Zechariah said to the angel, “How will I know that this is so? For I am an old man, and my wife is getting on in years.” 19 The angel replied, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. 20 But now, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time, you will become mute, unable to speak, until the day these things occur.”

21 Meanwhile the people were waiting for Zechariah, and wondered at his delay in the sanctuary. 22 When he did come out, he could not speak to them, and they realized that he had seen a vision in the sanctuary. He kept motioning to them and remained unable to speak. 23 When his time of service was ended, he went to his home.

24 After those days his wife Elizabeth conceived, and for five months she remained in seclusion. She said, 25 “This is what the Lord has done for me when he looked favorably on me and took away the disgrace I have endured among my people.”

Footnotes:

Luke 1:3 Or for a long time

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

[right-where-the-lines-overlap]

Hey guys,

I’m sure you would have heard about the Adulting 101 conference on social media. It was on November 30th and I’d like to officially thank the organizers for allowing me to come and take notes so that I can share with you all. It was a long day packed with information and so there was no way I’d be able to fit it into one blog post. Therefore, this is part 1 and it will focus on everything except investment. The investment section was my favourite part and I know you guys love investments so that presentation gets its own blog post.

Since it was a lot of information, I’ll be sharing what I either think you’d be interested in knowing or what I found the most interesting.

I know many people were complaining about the price of the event and it’s okay, I hear your concerns so I was on the lookout for what exactly they were getting for their buck.

In there very colourful folders, the attendees received many things including:

An investment voucher to open a mutual fund account at Sagicor investment.

Resume starter package

Voucher for 50% off a medical check-up

Registration for a mentorship program

Interview coaching sessions

In addition to that, there was coffee break food, lunch and booths outside with samples.

The event was hosted by Kingsley Morgan and Brithney Clarke and they did a great job. They kept their energy up (and it was a long day folks) and were not actually supposed to be hosting together, the hostess that was supposed to be there had an emergency. Honestly, if I didn’t find that out after, I wouldn’t have known, the chemistry was good.

Also shoutout to whoever was on sound, the playlist was lit. I was there from 8am and was thoroughly entertained.

The event started with Kingsley defined adulting and summarized what the conference would be about.

The event was supposed to be a “playbook on how to navigate adulting”

Adulting referred to doing adult things.

I liked when he likened moving from writing in pencil in schools to pen. Adulting more or less feels like that and I don’t know if he was going for a metaphor but the reader/writer in me saw it to mean that your mistakes matter a lot more now than it did then. It’s typically much easier to erase your mistakes or distance from them as a child but as an adult, you’re expected to simply know better.

The first presenter was Kavan Allen and who spoke on Spiritual Wellness from a Christian’s perspective.

  Photos from Adulting 101’s IG Page.

Photos from Adulting 101’s IG Page.

  He believes:

Neglecting your spiritual health may affect you in other ways.

As an adult, we tend to value peace of mind and he believes that’s what God provides.

Things in the Bible were designed to make you and everyone better.

That we were created and made to love.

Forgiveness and patience is a part of love

For you to be spiritually well you have to love and be loved.

He was basically saying that in order to be healthy holistically and successful in your endeavours you’ll have to be spiritually well.  Kingsley then asks “How do you explain atheists achieving success?”

I appreciated the question because it is a fair one.

Kavan went on to say that you can apply principles from the Bible (whether you know you’re doing it or not) and God would bless them anyway.

He also said everything isn’t always what it seems meaning that they may look successful and happy but aren’t. He mentioned that many people don’t have the peace of mind (that spiritual health would bring) and are addicted to drugs and are suffering.

Honestly, I don’t believe those things are unique to atheists, I’m sure every type of person struggles. I think honestly some people have ignored religion and are successful by their standard and or society’s and it just is what it is. That fact shouldn’t make someone abandon their faith though. 

The next presenter was Dr George Scarlett

  What I basically took away from the presentation was that it is best to eat organic unprocessed foods. He made the great point that nowadays it’s much more likely that we’ll die from a chronic disease. He also spoke about epigenetic signalling which is defined as allowing our cells to allow us to live our best life.

The next presenter Felecia Williams presented on Creating a Real and Lasting Relationship.

Photos from Adulting 101’s IG Page.

Photos from Adulting 101’s IG Page.

Dating isn’t on my agenda but it may be on yours so here are some gems you might appreciate:

Beware of unrealistic expectations, too much accessibility and failure to communicate.

Keep the importance of chemistry in mind.

Invest in each other but don’t invest in relationships that do not serve you, build a future, be authentic, mutually respectful and supportive.

Put in the work.

For the hopeless romantics who are single, Felecia says to avoid a scarcity mindset and abandon the idea of the perfect parter i.e don’t have a type.

She also mentioned not accepting bad behaviour because you’ll be valued by them less.

Felecia threw shade when she said that maybe you just aren’t ready for a relationship, ask yourself if you’d date yourself.

I honestly feel a lot of these tips can be implemented for platonic friendships too.

Sean Williams presented next on building your personal brand

Photos from Adulting 101’s IG Page.

Photos from Adulting 101’s IG Page.

Sean says:

You’re a brand and a creator of your brand.

You’re either your greatest asset or your greatest liability.

If you want people to focus on your message you’ll have to look a certain way. This is one of the saddest truths I’ve heard and I hope one day it isn’t the case.

It’s important to know your brand and value.

Value your name and what it stands for.

Don’t compromise on your values.

Know who needs what you possess

And my favourite tidbit was that: People are willing to pay more because of a name because people associate that brand with quality. I can only hope people associate the Goody with a Budget brand with quality.

Money Management Framework with Nigel R Holness

What I really took away from the presentation is that you have to access where you are and have a plan which is being deliberate.

He speaks about sacrifice to get what you want. I’ve always agreed and disagreed with this statement. On one hand, sure you can’t always buy what you want all the time if you’re saving towards something. That’s a no brainer. But on the other hand, I’m wary about sacrificing all the fun out of your young adult life for a day that may never come when you’re older. For example imagine missing out on all trips, outings, parties and experience you could have had. You have a child and get married and you’re 50, not in your best health or don’t have the luxury of time to do things you wanted to do even if now you have the money. I feel like finding a balance and having a budget that allows for fun is important.

Nigel was saying you shouldn’t have fun but I had to go on my little rant. Nigel did say to watch out for inflation and that’s facts.

Photo by Nathan Walker from Nigel’s presentation

He also mentioned:

Record your balance sheet.

Calculate your net worth

Record your income statement

Calculate cash flow

Analyse and set up a budget that you keep track of.

Know your credit score.

Photo by Nathan Walker on Nigel’s presentation.

Finally, the last presenter for the evening was Gina Tomlinson Williams

Photos from Adulting 101’s IG Page.

Photos from Adulting 101’s IG Page.

For jobseekers she suggests:

Cleaning up your social media because recruiters do check.

Make sure your resume, which shouldn’t be more than 2 pages. has information relevant to the job you’re applying to make sure it is free from errors. Get a second pair of eyes to glance over the resume to make sure.

Get a professional photograph taken. I got mine at Millenial Mixer this year.

Create a LinkedIn profile.Here’s mine.

Gina offered a golden list to prep for interviews:

Research the company.

Research the role and department

Find a list of possible questions for the interview

Create a list of questions you might get.

Practise your body language and facial expressions.

Bring a copy of your resume.

Rest and Hydrate

Beaware of how you smell, don’t use slangs, don’t chew gum or sweets and be nice to ALL of the staff. They’ll ask the staff if you were courteous to them but in my opinion you should be nice even if they don’t check.

Am I the only person who gets caught off guard and silent when the interviewer says: “Tell me about yourself”?

No? Okay, great Gina said you can talk about your bucket list, yourself in 5 years, strengths/weakness and why you’d be the best candidate.

After the interview, you should ask about next steps, shake hands and then send a ‘thank you’ email.

Did you make it this far? Congrats, the blog post on the presentation on investment will be posted next week. Need a Writer? You know where to find me!

  Takeaways from the Adulting 101 Conference Hey guys, I'm sure you would have heard about the Adulting 101 conference on social media. It was on November 30th and I'd like to officially thank the organizers for allowing me to come and take notes so that I can share with you all.