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hwashotcheeto · 7 months ago

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𝑨 𝑫𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝑶𝒏 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑯𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒛𝒐𝒏

Park Seonghwa X gn!reader

Summary: After you and Seonghwa planned a date, he unfortunately falls ill the day of the events. But you two still find a way to make the most of a bad situation.

WC: 2k

CW: Sick fic, fluffy, so fluffy, lots of fluffy, crying, comfort, cuddles, kisses, lots of fluff and Animal Crossing

AN: Oh wow, another sick fic, your bias is showing, Cheeto. /j

No, but in truth, I've had this in the drafts for over a month and a half and finally wrote it all in a sprint to get myself out of this writing slump I've been in. I guess you all will be the judge of if I managed to put out something of good quality.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, as always!

Tag List: @cherrycel @mxnsxngie @malldreamprincess @asjkdk

You gently held your boyfriend’s burning cheek as you placed the thermometer into his ear. You watched the little screen as you pressed the button, and only a few seconds later, it lit up and beeped in a panicked manner.

You let out a soft sigh of disappointment, while Seonghwa let out a pained whine as he covered his face with his hands. This was a rare day, in which Seonghwa was free from his busy idol life, and you two had planned to go to dinner to spend time with each other.

But as luck would have it, he’d awoken that morning to a pounding headache and body aches, and his now confirmed fever of over 100. The universe decided you weren’t having your dinner date tonight, and had to tell you in the rudest way possible.

You put the thermometer back into its box as you got up from his bed. “I guess I’ll go get you an ice pack and some medicine,” you said dejectedly, leaving the room on a mission to get said items.

A sigh left your lips as you pulled the ice pack from the freezer. It wasn’t Seonghwa’s fault he got sick, but that probably made it worse. The one day you had together, the first day in months, was ruined by something neither of you could possibly control.

Frustration crept in as you grabbed the bottle of medicine from the bathroom cabinet, accidently knocking another bottle over in the process. Another sigh left you as you put the bottle back up, muttering curses that would make a sailor blush.

Despite his fever, you were still planning to stay and take care of Seonghwa. That is, if he wasn’t stubborn and told you he’d be fine on his own. As much as it annoyed you, you did the same thing, so it was a mutual annoyance between you two.

“Hwa, I have-” You began to say as you walked back into his bedroom, but stopped when you saw Seonghwa with his head in his hands, softly crying.

You put both items on his desk and rushed over to sit in front of him, gently putting your hands on his arms, all frustration instantly leaving your body in favor of worry.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted, still keeping his face covered. “I know you were excited about this, and you waited so long, I’m-”

“Baby, shh,” you cut him off, pulling his hands away from his face. His face was even more red than before, almost like a cartoon character. You couldn’t help but pout at the sight, and quickly grabbed the ice pack to press it against his cheek. Seonghwa gratefully leaned into the cool touch, his eyes falling closed as he did.

“I’m not mad,” you continued. “Well, I am, but it’s not your fault.”

“But now we can’t go out.” He paused and sniffled, grabbing a tissue and wiping his nose. “And if you stay here, you’ll get sick.”

“I’m willing to make that sacrifice.”

Seonghwa shook his head. “You have to work too-”

“And I’ll call off if I need to.” You reached up with your other hand and held his burning face, wiping away the tears that continued to fall. “Even if we can’t go out, we still have the day to be together. I’d rather spend it taking care of you than not being with you at all.”

Seonghwa smiled, but it was a weak one that didn’t reach his eyes. Of course he was grateful for you, and the help you were willing to give him. But he also knew that he’d feel incredibly guilty in a few days when you would wake up feeling like he did right now.

But when he looked into your eyes, and saw the love in them, and the little smile you were giving him as you held the ice pack against his face, he didn’t have it in him to tell you to leave.

And the idea of watching you leave when he could barely get out of bed on his own made his heart shatter.

So Seonghwa nodded and reached up to hold your hand. “Then please, stay.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, tokki.”

Seonghwa’s eyes lit up at the name. This time, his smile was big and genuine. You pressed a kiss to his warm, slightly damp forehead before you pulled back to get the bottle of medicine. Seonghwa took the ice pack and pressed it against the rest of his face, trying to spread the cool feeling as far as he could.

Seonghwa gratefully accepted the dose of medicine you gave him, even though he gagged at the taste of it. You couldn’t help but giggle at the face he made. He just pouted and put the ice pack back on his forehead.

You leaned back down and smoothed his damp hair back as he did. “I can make you some tea if you want,” you offered, to which he gratefully nodded as he closed his eyes.

“Yes please,” he breathed. He adjusted himself to lay back down on the pillows and pull the blanket up to his chest, one hand still keeping the ice pack on his forehand.

With that, you went on another mission to make your boyfriend a cup of tea.

As you did, you passed your things you’d left on the kitchen counter, one of them being the case which held your Nintendo Switch. You and Seonghwa had planned to play Animal Crossing together after your dinner date.

And suddenly, at that moment, you had an idea of how to save your date night.

You walked back into Seonghwa’s room, his tea in one hand, your Switch in the other, with a huge smile on your face. Seonghwa’s eyebrows went down as he looked at you, but his whole face lit up when he saw the Switch in your hand.

The two of you wasted no time getting both your games set up, and also getting comfortable. You crawled up onto Seonghwa’s bed to sit on his left side and slid underneath his blanket to cuddle up to him.

“Are we going to your island or mine?” Seonghwa asked as his game finished loading. His little character came out of his house as the chimes played, dressed very nicely in formal clothes.

You smiled to yourself as you made your character run across your island. “I want you to come to mine, I have something set up.”

“You set something up for this?”

“I did, you have to come look.” You ran into your island’s airport to open the gate so Seonghwa could see the surprise you’d spent days working on.

Seonghwa excitedly made his character start running across the island, but suddenly stopped, and ran back towards his house. You looked up at his TV to see what he was doing, but Seonghwa waved his hand to make you look away.

“Don’t look, I have a surprise for you too!”

“Okay, I won’t look!” You said with a giggle, looking back down at your own Switch as you finished opening the gate.

It was only a few minutes later that Seonghwa had arrived on your island. You used a little wave emote as his character stepped out of the airport, to which he did it back.

“So where’s this surprise?” He asked, walking off of the little wooden dock.

“I’ll show you.” You began walking through your island, of which you and Seonghwa had done many times before. You two had helped each other build your islands, trading items, sending gifts, helping each other cheat the natural progression of the game just because you could.

You two were connected through this game. It was a part of your relationship just like any other. It held a special place in your heart, and it made you smile when you’d go back and watch clips of you two together, chasing each other with various tools, or messing with the other villagers.

You and Seonghwa finally made your way to a part of the island away from all the other houses and buildings. Seonghwa gasped when he saw it come into view, and your heart swelled as a smile spread across your face.

There was a gated garden, with trees and flowers of every kind everywhere. A custom dirt path led you through the various flora, with paper lanterns along the sides to light your way. There were statues in small clearings, and small streams separated the different sections from each other.

You and Seonghwa followed the path until you came to a table with two chairs. The table had a candle and two meals sitting on top of it, with the moon hanging in the sky behind it and the sky full of stars.

“Sweetheart,” Seonghwa whispered, staring at the TV as he slowly walked around and looked at everything. “You made this for tonight?” He looked at you, and you couldn’t stop smiling even if you tried.

“I did,” you said softly. “I made it for you.”

Seonghwa smiled, but it quickly turned to a pout, and he put his controller down to hug you. You dropped your Switch onto the blanket and hugged him back.

“I love you.” His voice was hoarse and soft. You slowly rubbed his back as you heard him sniffle again. “You’re wonderful.”

“I love you too, tokki.”

You two stayed like that for a while. With your two characters standing beside each other in the garden you made, with the soft ambient noises of the insects and water, the gentle music alongside it as you two were wrapped in each other’s arms in the real world, you knew love could never be felt like this by anyone else.

Love is an incredibly unique thing, and a love like this couldn’t ever be explained to anyone else. The greatest poets in the world could write about love for centuries to come, but the love you both felt in that moment would pale in comparison to anything anyone could write.

Seonghwa eventually let you go to rub his eyes. You leaned your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arm around his. He relaxed into you as he reached for his controller.

“I’d kiss you if I wasn’t sick.”

“Kiss me anyway.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Do I have to beg?”

“No, that won’t work on me today.”

You both broke into giggles as you made your way back to the table. Both your characters took the food off the table, and sat across from each other. You both ate the food, as you would in real life.

You were ready to leave your Switch, but then Seonghwa got up from the chair and walked over to yours. You suddenly remembered the surprise he had for you, and jumped out of your chair to pick the item he dropped in front of the table.

“Aww, Hwa,” you whined as you read the item name in your inventory: A chocolate heart. “You can only get this during Valentine’s-”

“Yep.” He smiled and put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you as close as he could get you. “I held onto it for a moment like this.”

You put your Switch to the side and cuddled back up to him, giving him a cheek kiss before laying your head on his shoulder. He kissed your head and he squeezed you gently.

“Saranghae, jagiya,” Seonghwa whispered, his body melting into yours as he held you close.

“I love you too,” you whispered back.

You both eventually adjusted to laying back down on the bed, leaving the game on as you two began to drift off to sleep. Like before, the soft sounds of Animal Crossing worked like a lullaby to relax you both, and send you off to a sweet slumber.

Seonghwa watched his and your character idle together as he played with your hair. He smiled as he looked at the beautiful garden you’d made once more before his eyes fell shut, and he let himself fall into dreams of you.

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol(s) in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

#ateez #ateez fanfiction #ateez fic #ateez ff #ateez fluff #ateez x reader #ateez seonghwa #park seonghwa #seonghwa fanfiction #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa fic #seonghwa ff #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa x reader

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koolades-world · 9 months ago

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can i have the om brothers dealing with insomniac+workaholic!mc? Diavolo made a grave fucking mistake when unwillingly inviting mc to the devildom. can't sleep? work. bored? work. have nothing else to do? ask Lucifer or Diavolo for more work to do, or maybe cook something for Beel.

also, insomnia isn't easy to deal with. they have to pull out the strongest sleep potion or magic out there for that fucker to sleep. "oh have you tried melatonin?" YES I HAVE?? I'VE TRIED- "do you turn off your lights when you go to sleep?" no, i sleep with the lights on-- OF COURSE I TURN OFF THE LIGHTS YOU FUCKIN BALL LICKER. "maybe stop being on that phone of yours at late at night.." I CAN'T FUCKING SLEEP SO I MIGHT AS WELL DO SOMETHING.

whenever mc runs out of things to do, they re-do an assignment that got less than a 100% score.. someone drag this dymbfuck away from their work..

can i be🍷anon? or glass-eater anon? :3

hello!! yes, of course

those are both amazing anon names haha, welcome to the anon crew

enjoy <3

Workaholic Insomniac Mc

Lucifer

you can bet both of yall are making eye contact in the hallway at four am, and neither of you have slept

he gets you bestie

however he's willing to acknowledge both of you are practicing an unhealthy habit

together, you can take days off and as much as you itch to do work, you can stop each other. what a fun bonding activity!

Mammon

this is just like dealing with lucifer so he knows the drill

let you work as much as you want during the day without shirking your other responsibilities, but after dinner, he's dragging you away from it by the back of your shirt

when he can't fall asleep, he goes for a night drive, to nowhere in particular

so, he always invites you, because he knows you can't say no to him

Levi

he's also almost always awake at odd hours of the night, so he's always available

he would not be great to work in the same room as though

however he is willing to get you away from your work for a while to play some games with him

he knows that you need time away from that paper work and as much as you want to go back to it, he'll keep you with him until you complete the level. mark his word haha

Satan

will help you make those sleeping potions, or has solomon make some for you

if you ever want help with your work, he's willing to lend a hand, even though he knows you almost always say no

whenever you're awake at night, he'll come and sit where ever you're sitting to read so you'll have company

more often than not, he and belphie are next to you while you work as a silent indicator of what, or who, is waiting for you when you're done or want to take a break

Asmo

he fully believes in relaxing before bed and since he loves it so much, he suggests you try it with him

the first night you tried didn't really go as planned because he got a little overexcited so you had to try again the next night

that goes much better, and while it wasn't instant sleep, it was certainly better than staring at the ceiling for hours

plus, you get to spend time with asmo! who doesn't want that?

Beel

he won't lie he does enjoy the occasional impromptu meal you make for him when you've really got no more work to do (which is rare)

but he's concerned about you

honestly he thinks you're just like lucifer, you sincerely care about those around you and you work with them in mind

if you ever find random refreshments on your desk in the few moments you were gone, just know it was probably him

Belphie

as the self proclaimed king of sleep, he's always going out of his way to try and help you out

sometimes he falls asleep on your bed waiting for you to join him, while satan is still somehow going strong with his reading

if he notices you sitting at your desk for far too long, he'll start to whine and complain until you get in bed with him

sometimes, while he feels guilty, he'll use his power to help you fall asleep faster and give you a sweet dream that's usually about him

#obey me #obey me!#obey me x reader #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me lucifer #obey me beel #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me belphie #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date

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ancha-aus · 1 month ago

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hihihihi >:D (and i apologise. it is long... again.)

killer is a slippery snail and he will get out. Always did! It was just to test chara after all (who failed their test btw. very badly >:( ) And because he doens't need to babysit his FAKE bestie anymore he has free time. So sure. He will check out this new god. See what the deal is.

And he feels meh about Dream. He is large and powerful and has this slight crazed look on his face. (Like dreamswap i think maybe?) but then he spots Nightmare and Ccino and holy shit that servant is the most beautiful person he has ever seen...

So he sneaks closer and closer and then just starts talking with him! (and he learns that his name is Ccino and that he has this small sassy smile and seems amused by Killer and Killer is already so in love.) And Killer makes sure to stay respectful. He doesnt want tot he other to dislike him. He would LOVE to hold his hand but killer knows they only met 5 minutes ago and so he just talks with him. learns what he can as quickly as possible before he needs to go hide.

Ccino actually felt charmed. It felt nice how this random noble skeleton seemed honestly interested. and Ccino met a LOT of people at this point. He can point out fake and real interest. He knows when people are only interested in sex. So to have someone talk to him who just looks at him with awe and honest interest? Ccino is happy. And Nightmare? Who sees someone being nice and respectful to ccino? He approves. And then it turns out he is a criminal. Nightmare just frowns because that won't do. what if this guy is captured nad punished? Yeah no that doens't work. He goes to dream and gets his older twin to pardon the guy. Drema shrugs and does it because why not? It makes nightmare happy so of course he will. (Ccino just sadly in his room. Sad because aparently the only person who would be honestly nice and respectful to him is a criminal. That fits. why did he expect anything else?)

Ccino in this version is just so tired and exhausted. He has been kicked down so many times he can't even fully get back up again. Evne with the support and his cheat sheet with the castle. It is too much. there is no break from it. Not until Nightmare one day discovers him hurting after a lashing and nightmare is furious. (before they did it much more sneakily that type of punishment and healing because he had to stay pretty for dream. dream clearly doesn't care about ccino so they don't bother with healing anymore. and ccino's magic is so weak and he is weak so he can't fully recover from his injuries anymore. probbaly leaving very nausty and painful scars) anyway. Nightmare finds out. and pretty much forces ccino to just tell him (part of the slave contract. cant ignore direct orders. so an Order to Tell him the truth? Yeah. Ccino is unhappy about having to share but shares.) and Nightmare is so mad. He goes to dream to get dream to smite those idiots for hurting his bbaysitter. (and then later dream lets it happen AGAIN just to get som guard to like him? Ngihtmare is furious and refuses to speak to drema for months as he just sits with ccino who is so hurt from the lashing. it is one of the few times a small crack appears in the perfect appearance and illusion that dream lives in.)

Ink and Killer is just such a funny friendship. because as you said. cross gave routine and structure while killer just embraced the chaos! (the difference in how ink remembers them? Cross through physical presence while he remembers killer because of their btis and jokes and conversations? Him still doing both actions when neither is there? it is so sweet) and ink protecting killer!! Ink making sure killer is out first because. he can portal? of course he lets killer escape first? that just makes sense? but to killer it means so much more. it means that ink actually cares. that ink wants to make sure killer is safe. Killer isn't used to that but it helps so much and ink never fully knows. and Ink bringing back tiny trinkets for killer!! small little things! Killer holds unto them all. he has so many little random charms and trinkets and everything! (his favourite is this little cat charm. he can't explain why. he just loves it so much)

and yeah i believe that Kilelr would have by now lost any faith he may have had. fully on atheist. Killer doenst believe in godhood and rejects it. But then he and ink come back from a trip and Killer sees how the country is now a military state. and Killer feels so worried and he goes to the old castle and sees it completely gone (the army never found the new tree. that still exists thanks to the small amount of faith ccino had in it and its power) and killer is just... heart broken. Because sure he was just playing around with the idea that he would get money and gold and settle somewehre and then one day come back and he isn't sure like... sneak in to see ccino? Just hang out with him but then also flirt and maybe get somethign? Killer could ahve convinced him to run away with him and bring ccino to this little safe space and and... and sure he wasn't SERIOUS about it (he was) but it was still nice to think about! And now... it is gone... his plan and plans for the future... gone. lets be real. Ink knows a surprising amount about Ccino. Because Killer LOVES talking about his little sweetheart that he plans on wooing. Ink is of course a good supportive best friend but also chaotic so he gives the wildest ideas for killer. (The kidnape option was thought of by ink. but ink also offered 'sending him money' 'sending like a bunch of flowers and gifts like clothes.' and ink's favourite 'let ink paint a naked painting of killer and send that ti him.' These two being best friends is fucking hilarious.)

And these two getting lost all the time is so funny. Like sure they have missions and jobs to do and they get them done. it is just a matter of when because the duo may get lost on another continent in between getting and completing the mission. so they get lost and Ink somehow knows that there should be a tower nearby? something like that? a building?

and they find a VERY tall wizard tower (outer is a mage of the space/sky/nightsky he has to have a tall tower) so they go there and as you said. Ink is one of a kind so Outer knows who he is and invites him inside. okay but the bit that outer calls out that they have guests and ccino immediantly getting up and standing ready. Outer trying to reassure him as soon as he sees him but killer is faster. Killer so happy and rushes over to ccino and twirling him around. ccino is so shocked. why... why is this guy... the criminal of way before happy to see him? Why doe she even remember him? (and oof... that is go good. Ccino made an effort to get healthy. Maybe back when dream first told people to leave ccino alone as king. Maybe ccino back then tried and made the effort to eat a bit more (he just always felt sick adn exhausted and dizzy with how little he ate) and dream noticed and probbaly made some offhand comment about him 'eating again?' or 'i do always find you eating.' and ccino stopped it. Then maybe later much later when they are with outer and outer had been trying to encourage hi to eat (outer saw ccino only eating once a week and very little and it horrified him.) only for tiny dream to see and ask him 'why are you eating again? you never are this much before.' and there goes any healing process AGAIN. (outer has come very close to hitting dream but dream is a child so he won't be he will give him a very strict talking to)) But now Kiler is here nad Killer is so very invested in geting Ccino to be happy and healthy. and it takes so much time but it works. Killer gets him to eat and do some light exercise and they try hobbies together and cino discovers his love for cooking. (which causes ccino to probably start crying because he remembers his parents baking together and it hits so hard) and you are so right. Killer can see that Ccino can't stnad anyone mentioning his appearance. He can't handle it. so Killer just focusses on being there for him.

(okay but killer and ccino 100% platonically cuddle. Killer also has no trouble telling ccino he loves him but that he doens't need to do anything with that. ccino does admit he doens't feel the same. It is much to early for him to even think about loving someone like that. Killer is okay wiht it as killer just holds the other close. instead killer just asks ccino what he does feel for killer. and ccino has to think for a while before he settles on one thing 'safe'. killer feels safe to him. and killer is so happy and just keeps holding ccino. wiht time killer wants their relationship to grow into love but he knows that ccino isn't ready. so he waits. he is patient and just takes care and hold ccino in the wasys he is allowed. Killer knows ccino may never be ready for any type of relationship and that is also okay iwth killer. as long as he is allowed to do this. which he is.)

And yeah. for the four in the house it is at this point an open secret that ccino is stuck in a magical contract. Killer doesnt know it yet. and he means so well. he asks ccino to just come with him, that it is okay that Outer is good for the twins and can handle them. and over time ccino admits what is wrong with him. that he loves the twins still. that he cares so deeply about them. and then also the fact he is physically unable to leave them. that he will die if he leaves the king's side (reason why ccino didn't in the main story. the contract said he was to remain by the FUTURE KING'S side. and that ended up being nightmare. nightmare of course freed ccino as soon as he found out. but ccino willingly remained by his side.) the twins hear this conversation as well.

(And yeah the twins eavesdrop on EVERYONE. these two have no sense of boundaries or anything. They were NEVER punished for anything. this is a whole change for them to no be allowed everything and to have to learn all the wrong they did.)

And they hear killer talk about getting someone to break the contract. that killer can go search for someone who can breka it. ccino isn't the first person stuck wiht a contract like that and there has to be ways to break it. and ccino just so softly and gently admitting that even if he was free... he doens't think he could leave them. he loves them. Killer mentions that it is unhealthy and will end up killing ccino, killer notices those signs, and ccino just so sad but smiling as he mentions that he knows.

I love the idea that they make a little cafe. That they go to another country and set up shop somewhere. Killer goes out and does jobs to make sure ccino doens't have to worry about money. ccino gets to make food and nice drinks and make people happy. the twins learn more about being responsible and how the normal people live. (nightmare planning on how to get the contract back. so he can break it. even if it breaks his heart to have to say goodbye to ccino. Because nightmare doesn't see why ccino would want to stay with them if he had any other option. Dream being unwilling. he is 13 and hurt and ccino is the ONE constant in his life and he is at his core just a scared and hurt kid. Maybe over time he can learn to be brave enoguh to let ccino go and free him. but he is so afraid that ccino will leave. that it will be another person not actually caring about him at all. that another person only cared and love him because he had power. (ccino wouldn't leave them even if he was free. as mentioned before. his motivation is all centered on love and care. even if they both hurt him he can't just leave them)) And i agree it would be a great ending for their story line in this. the twins helping ccino recover and regaining something that nim took from him. a normal life. ccino would with time be able to recover and heal with killer's help. but it is a rough journey. (and yeah. ccino has no confidence whatsoever but over time killer will help him feel okay again)

Omg that was only the killer and ccino bit. This is gonna be long.

And yes! I went nuts with the Dust bit hihihi.

Dust showing up just after Ccino and the twins. Outer making sure they are not interrupted (the twins try to listen in but can't see what is going on) nad outer looking at dust's soul. and being so gentle about how outer can't help him. how sorry he is but he needs to meet someone who can actualyl help him. and as you said. outer went to the same school as sci and geno. so he references him to geno. Geno will know. and you are right that outer would know. If Geno can't solve this? no one can. (i do think that outer would warn dust. that geno gets intense about magic. that it isn't his fault and that geno is just like that.)

(dust doens't dislike outer like geno. because outer remained respectful and tried to make sure to not overstep dust's boundaries. he asked minimal stuff just about the spell and never mentions the soul aside from how it interacts with the spell and how the spell interacts with the soul. it made dust not feel like an experiment but like a patient. still rough but much better.)

And it makes sense that Geno, and fresha nd error, don't have the private feelng about souls. they were raised by geno and geno raised himself. their parents never had the talk with them about how the souls are a private matter. about how the soul is who they are and all they could ever be. all three just see it as a source of magic and that is it. He tries to respect it but then geno hears about the situation?He HAS to see.... and to see Dust's Kintsugi soul together with the beautiful storm spell around it? Geno is OBSESSED! He wants to know everything! He wants to mess with the soul and prode and poke and it is horribly invasive but he remains strong and powers through it.

because outer is right. geno is a fucking genius about this. geno figures out how the spell works and what is does and how it interacts and how geno will place fail saves to keep the spell running but also to make sure it doesn't harm dust's soul as they work on getting dust's soul strong enough to handle the storm fully.

Dust isn't an idiot. He sees the geno doesn't care at all. he is just the case study. the only thing that matters about him is that he holds the soul and the storm and that is dust dies geno can't study and poke and prod it anymore. so that is why he is being saved. he is a labrat and that is it. it hurts but dust doesn't care. he knows it is either healing and going home. or dying. so whatever what happens. he already was a crime lord before. aparently this is his karma so this is hwat he deserves.

the longer dust remains there the more geno and reaper see the person behind the soul and magic. get to know him. see how smart and sassy he can be. How good he is with horses and how handsome he is. They fall at the same time but reaper figures it out first. and geno only figures it out because reaper pointed it out. Geno just realising he fell in love with this person and only connecting that he is working on this person's soul and magic while sitting there working on the spell and soul as he holds that beautiful fragile soul in his hands and he feels like such an idiot for not figuring it out quicker. but it is fine! Because geno is already healing him! He can just... make it obvious he cares? that he wants a relationship?

and it seems to work! they spend time togehter. they go on dates. geno ends up holding his hand and he isn't shoved away. kisses him feels amazing and then they invite him to spend the night with them and dust is a bit hesitant at first but lets them love him and make love to him afterwards nad it is perfect and great and-

what... what do you mean repaying your debt...?

And you are so right with dust. it is just another dirty deal. it is just another debt he needs to repay. he just endures. sure it is nice none of the actions hurt before or that they never asked him to do... things with others or anythign. but still. for dust there were no feelings of love or attraction behind the actions. He just did what he felt like he had to do because he owned them for their help...

Which really makes reaper and geno relaise how much they messed up. and it takes awhile before they manage to get dust to talk about it (before they foudn the silent and mysterious aspect of him attractive and cool but oh man is it hard to get him to admit anything and share information with them) and tehn they learn dust just saw it as a debt he had to repay. that he agreed because clearly they wanted it and he hoped that would repay it all. that dust doens't like them like that AT all. and that he doens't believe they actually like him. geno tries to reassure him when dust just says something liek "you don't need to act as if you give a shit about me. You already look and touch and prode my soul whenever... what else can you want?" becuase dust already gave everything he had to give... not freely but because he had to. and he just wants to be done with it.

It hurts them a lot but they both know they NEED to let dust go. all those teasured and swet memories they made together? those dates? thos sweet and long loving nights? yeah. aparently? they very much forced dust into those and dust never actually wanted to do any of those actions. they both feel sick about it. (geno feels especially terrible. realising that he messed it up since the very fucking start. just because he couldn't stay respectful about dust's soula dn health? just because he once again couldn't be a normal person when it came to magic. Dust TRUSTED them to help him. and Geno made him feel terrible... and then they boht pretty much harrassed him over and over and over. yeah geno feels sick)

they tried to fix things. show him they do hoenstly love him. that he is important. but nothing works. dust doesn't trust easily and well... they ruined their chance. it hurt s alot. Geno redoes everything about his session work. scraps it all and is so careful and makes sure to only work on the spell and not even look at that beautiful soul. but it is too late. there is no fixing it.

and once they helped dust and made sure he would be fine? they had to let him go. even if it hurts so badly.

(maybe when dust's homecountry gets invaded or soemthing dust ever returns. even if he dislikes both geno and reaper he knows it is a save land to travel to and settle. so dust returns. and geno and reaper KNOW this. but they have to act as if they don't because they doubt dust will be happy with the tracking spells. maybe error or fresh can run into him! and they eventually do.) ((sidenote. dust deserves to get a job on a ranch. just work with horses to his soul contents.))

and yes! fresh and Error are there too! Dust still helps Fresh with his parasite (which just makes geno feel ever WORSE about how he ended up hurting dust. because dust helped his brother!) and Error just sneaking up on the cool mysterious powerful mage with the horses.

only to learn that dust doens't do magic. Which is so weird to error. error can FEEL you are powerful. why don't you use spells. Dust just shrugs and says he doens't know how. because that is the truth. he doesn't now how to cast. Nightmare helped him learn that nad no nightmare this timeline. Error frowns and watches dust work with the very hostile horse and error is the one who sees how dust makes large progress with actually taming it and is so impressed. Error tells dust that fresh can do that with other animals so maybe they can exchange notes? (error also offers that maybe his own tutors can help teach dust magic stuff? but dust declines. he has enough of one mage messing with his magic. thanks,)

just. dust still getting a relationship/friendship with error. dust and fresh becoming buds over their animal hnadling skills... and yet dust still being so hurt and going back home. because he can't trust geno and reaper. that just hurts.

That Error TRIES to be penpals. but that dust has to shut it down. he sends a message back that error is a great kid and that dust wishes him the best but that after what happened he can't do this. it hurts. he is sorry. he hopes error gets friends who ARE worthy of his friendship because dust isn't.

Error is heartbroken. first with dust leaving and then the rejection. he cries because he had a friend! he finally was able to make a friend who could be a cool extra brother!

(geno feeling even more horrible after learnign all of this)

I feel so bad that i just don't have alot fo say about horror. he just has a chill life! I can't even lie. he sticks with his family and lives a happy life even if it isn't fullfilled in a way it was in the other timeline.

exactly for cross! It isn't the high stress job of before but it enables him to stay busy. work out a bit. and stay in contact with people! all things that are good for him. he enjoys getting his crushes and imagine how things could be. (he never tries. lust was the only one for him) but epic!! Him and the bruh! the bro and bro!! they have to become friends!! and yes i love the idea that it was epic who gave him the future talk in the mian story with frisk and chara. which is why he KNOWS this isn't suposed to be the future that was planned for cross. that was writen in the timeline. but epic holds their friendship very near and dear. he cares a lot about his friend. though maybe epic would still try to fit the pieces together. to make it right again. but that is hard because he doesn't know what the pieces are! (he can look into the future. not the past after all)

i dom't have specific plans for epic hahaha just thought of it as i was typing the reblog hihih

I love that blue got to be a knight. it is sad he had to battle his old mentor to death to get there but he gets his justice! He gets to be the knight he always wanted to be.

(on that side note... 16 year old dream meeting 21 year old knight blue. Maybe dream tries to run away after freeing ccino. feeling like he did one thing correct only to learn ccino will still stay. dream is convinced he messes things up and ruins everything. he just wanted to make one thing right and he messed up somehow again because ccino isn't leaving even when freed.

so dream runs away himself. trying to give them the freedom. he knows now that HE was the problem. he messed everything up by not trusting nighty all those years ago that the ritual was bad news. he just brought more pain and more pain and ruin to everything! He ends up getting stuck or maybe some bandits and blue saves him.

Dream is in love. instantly. Blue is everything he liked before and now even more. because blue saved him. blue doens't even know who dream is and he still saved him!

blue makes sure to set up camp and make sure to check if dream is hurt. adn tehy talk. dream tries to confess he likes him. right away. (that is how the story books go right? a prince/princess is saved by a brave knight. they confess their feelings and get married? happily ever after?) but blue, because blue is a good guy, gently rejects dream.

Dream just breaks. he cries and cries and confesses EVERYTHING to this stranger. how he only makes things worse and how he is a selfish and horrible and he shouldn't BE trusted at all. how he makes everything harder and he only causes bad things to happen.

blue listens in shock. he heard of course of the old king and crown prince going missing... but this? he never expected this? but blue also sees that this is a very hurt kid. Blue does the math... who forces a 13 year old child to grow into an adult? before they even have a chance to become themselves? No wonder dream did those things. he was set up to be one way and wasn't offered another choice. Blue just holds him. holds him and supports him and lets dream cry it out.

at the end blue is gently. says he didn't reject the other becuase he doesn't like him. says that blue is sure that dream is going to be okay and do good. that dream is already a much better person than he used to be because he cares. he is trying to be better. but that blue is just too old for dream. that dream is young and has his whole life ahead of him. no need to lock himself down with a too old guy.

Dream feels a bit better. and goes back home. (his soul very much in love) blue feels better. because this is why he wanted to be a knight. to save people. to help people. blue returns home with more hope to make things better.

I do like the idea that eventually they manage to end up meeting again. all of them. relationships will be different and their future and past will be different. but in the end they all find each other again and slowly get better and healthy. as much as this timeline allows.

Hiiii!!!!! I'm sending this from the main account (curse) because it's easier than making it anon lol- But I'm tagging myself jic ( @spotaus )

So!!!! The thing I was thinking about for New Age that I wanted to send to you was about that alternate ending for the story where Dream gets the apple, but more specifically: What about the side characters? These aren't entirely thought out, but I like to think about the 'what if' being like that episode of My Little Pony where there was no sonic rainboom (and if that reference means nothing then ignore it, hehe!)

Killer goes first! So, Killer *was* caught when Nightmare strolled through town, I'd say about a year/few months after rising to power. Dream, I don't think, would be touring like Nightmare was at that point, because he doesn't have to rebuild anything, so no reason to personally go to the guard camps in the first place to search for knights. He has plenty of guys right here! So, here is when Killer actually slips his cuffs and goes off on his own, the opposite direction of where Chara would have been waiting on him, because even though he knows he can't trust them any more, he also doesn't know where to go. Instead of following, he'll go anywhere they aren't. I like to think that at this realization, he just... keeps living the way that he used to. Moving from town to town, just barely scraping by. That's when he runs into the King's caravan, visiting one of the big port cities, and decides to have some fun. Live a little. And that *does* mean that he sneaks around during the event to see just how close to the king he can get without setting anyone off. And... wow, this is the heir to Nim? It makes sense, but looking at him makes Killer feel sick, he knows what he use to do to please Nim, and he knows what people still do now to please Dream, even when he'll never ever notice them. Eventually he gets fed up with it, and wants to leave, but before he does he notices THE most gorgeous skeleton he's ever seen. So he approaches rapidly, and there's this moment of conversation that no one recognizes that Killer is absolutely NOT supposed to be there. He walked with purpose, so they thought nothing of it, and Ccino assumes he has to be one of the new members of a noble family, so he and Nightmare talk with Killer for a bit. It's a nice this farce for Killer. It isn't until after, when Nightmare mentions he liked that one noble with the funny target soul to Dream, that they find out that he was just. Some guy. Dream puts some people on research, and it comes back that Killer is a criminal. Night asks if they could pardon him, and Dream agrees easily. So, out of nowhere, Killer is free of all previous, and future, transgressions. He doesn't even know it until he's caught again, before being released because of the king. Killer isn't quite sure what to do with himself, so I like to think that his travels eventually lead him to meet Ink! They'd make a great assassin duo, and it gives opportunities for him to be outside the kingdom.

Dust. Dust, I think, actually continues to be a crime lord. Because Nightmare didn't hear about the black market from Killer, there's no reason for anyone to try hunting it down now. The weather magic blocker stays up, at least until Dream is usurped, and that's how long he stays in power as a crime lord. A few months after, when the weather returns and the rituals fade? His magic is almost too much. He can hardly move anywhere without causing a tornado or hurricane, until he learns to control himself, which takes at least a week to be able to drain the initial build-up. In that time his soul is shocked back to life fairly often, and he decides he needs to find a mage to deal with this, because if he couldn't be at home before, he can't be *anywhere* now. I actually think that Dust would end up seeking Outer. He's not very well known, but he's a mage of the sky, and that's the kind of thing Dust needs to figure this thing out, or he's going to die and lose out on all he's been working on. Maybe he would come back to get a check-up from Outer when Dream, Night, and Ccino are there and get a nasty surprise. (Dust has a very slight chance of still meeting Geno and Reaper, but I do think their relationship would start up with Dust being a sort of case study for Geno, just like Dust in the usual time is afraid of. He might be able to see his family again someday too, depending on how efficient I want Outer to be with storm magic lol.)

Horror. I actually don't think Horror managed to move into the kingdom. His generation of family slipped into the borders during Nightmare's chaotic start, and with Dream there was none of that. So, they just couldn't ever sneak in to take over that old abandoned settlement. I think they might have set up camp just outside the borders on the unclaimed territory, and tried to help their relatives living inside the kingdom. Horror lives a fine life, he's happy, but his injury has already happened by then, so his family coddles him. No one to train him, so he has to live like that, never really fulfilled (Never meeting Farm for sure)

Cross? Tbh I like the idea that he went off to Reaper's kingdom! Just another refugee, slipping away into the land of peace away from all the chaos and war across the bay. He's happy there, for sure! Maybe he starts to work at someplace with a routine like a restaurant, or joins Reaper's military which is a lot more relaxed. He never really gets to fully complete his independance arc, and never actually meets Lust :(

Bonus!!! Error! Error doesn't run away and end up in Night's kingdom until almost 7 years of Night's rule. Dream barely makes it to five years. So when Error tries to run away, the kingdom he stumbles into is full of chaos, and trying to learn to govern itself amidst what feels like the apocalypse to them. And without a mage contest and a King to get scooped up by? Fresh actually manages to find Error! He gets to give him that big bear hug and tell him to never run away like that again and ask why he did it. And Error gets to tell him he felt forgotten and left behind, and Fresh insists that's not it. That dumb school wasn't for him either, he's sure that when Geno comes to visit, he can teach him a little more. Fresh manages to coax him home, and though he eventually comes clean about his parasite, there's never a resolution to it. Reaper, when they finally meet, can pacify it a bit, but that's all they can do. Error doesn't become a full mage, but Geno teaches him a little and he's still insanely powerful. Just, now a second powerful mage living with Reaper, running around causing havoc.

Okay, those are my thoughts for now! Horror and Cross are a bit shorter because there was less/no Nightmare involvement, and Killer ended up being my golden child as always. Dust is ???? I got a little tired, but you know what I mean haha- Anyways hope you have a good one!!!

AAH!! I love it so much!!

Okay let me just. Get to this :D

And don't worry. I get the reference hihihi

Okay but I LOVE the fact that Killer would have just escaped and make a run for it. Now that i think about it you did mention Killer was just watiing for Chara to save him but would have slipped the cuffs himself. Him just going around and being on his own. Traveling. And then. He sees the NEW KING. and Killer already feeling a little sick for the things that were done in Nim's name. That he did in Nim's name. So he wants to sneak closer and just. Just see how close he can get. Just for fun. No other reason at all.

And as you said. people just didn't mind because well. Killer played the part. He was confident and certain in his movements so people just let him. And Killer seeing and meeting Ccino. There is no rules to stay away. No king that Killer is trying to stay on the good terms off. So he just rushes over to introduce himself and learn the tiny bit he can before he needs to leave. I like the idea that Killer is just smitten at first sight and Ccino feels a bit flattered. There have been nobles before who were interested but they were pushy and grabby. Killer isn't. Killer is just... nice... respectful. Sure he flirsts but he keeps his hands to himself. It is nice.

And then it turns out that Killer was no noble at all but a criminal. I like that Nightmare still wants to pardon him. But in this case it would be because Nightmare SAW that Killer was nice and respectful towards Ccino. So he only sees the freedom as a good reward for the other. (poor Ccino though. Thinks he may finally meet a noble who is nice and actually may be able to interact more with- Nope. a criminal. because of course the only person who would be nice ot Ccino would be a criminal)

OMG Ink and Killer the assassin duo. Glorious.

Also. I think that Killer would eventually learn about the rebellion in the kingdom. And Killer doens't care that the king is gone, he sees that as a good thing. Killer thinks it is a shame the crown prince is gone too as he seemed nice enough. But he regrets not going back and just grabbing Ccino. Because he knows that it is unlikely anyone in that castle survived. So You just have Killer mourning what never was and never got to be.

I like the idea that Killer and Ink eventually come by Outer (why? they got lost and happened upon that) and Killer just SEES Ccino there. Looking so so so tired but alive. and He just grabs him and hugs him and spins him around. A second chance at last. (also if ccino put on a bit of weight. Killer would be shocked that ccino managed ot get even more gorgeous while ccino is self concious about 'letting himself go' instead of the fact that he is healing and FINALLY eating full meals. If ccino is still thin Killer can help the healing process <3)

Killer probably asks Ccino to run away so many times then. To just run off together! The princes can handle themselves now. They are out and one is an adult-ish. Ccino just so tiredly and quietly admiting the slave contract. he can't leave even if he wanted. Then ever softer. that he doesn't want to leave. even if they both hate him... they are still his... ccino loves them.

Killer mentions that it isn't healthy for ccino to love them and ccino just shrugging as he mentions that he was never suposed to hav e along life spam anyway. Killer just holding him. They probbaly have so many heart-to-hearts. ccino would be so much more broken in this one while killer woudl be more put togehter. Ccino just having been kicked down one too many times to get back up fully. And Killer having seen the world more and been out with ink, getting an ACTUAL friend.

(God jsut thought of like. Killer holding ccino and mentioning that killer loves ccino. ccino just so tired muttering that he shouldn't. That ccino is too broken to love or deserve love. Killer doens't agree. He is okay with just being allowed to hold ccino.) Dust!!

FRIEND!! I got THOUGHTS about Dust!

I fully agree wiht him staying a crime lord and just being undefeated. Untill!! The magic disapears and normal weather returns. It getting out of control SO FAST. Dust losing control of the stronger storma dn his soul having had the time it needed to fully grow to be able to handle it better (the two year difference and what it does) Dust is terrified the spell will end up killing him over just knocking him out. (in reality it DOES kill him a few times. It just zaps his soul so harshly it cracks before melting it back togehter. I imagine that Dust's soul, both here and in the real newage story, looks like Kintsugi pots. you know like repaired with gold but here it is like solidified mana which in dust's case is purple)

Anyway, Dust goes searching for a mage to help him. Maybe he finds outer first and outer after checking just shaking his skull. this is too complex for him. He can't do that. He is so sorry... But outer mentions... that there is a genius mage in another land. on another continent. If anyway knows how to help you handle that spell? It is Geno.

Outer writes Dust a note. Like a magical summon adn reference kinda deal wiht a magical seal. To enable Dsut to travel to the heart of the kingdom and request an auditions with the royal mage of reaper. The highest Mage and most powerful mage in the fucking lands. (mage and wizard priviledges. Using one of those seals is SERIOUS business. Because if you use the seal for something not worthy? you lose those seal priviledges.)

Dust travels there. Shows the note and is let in. and gets to meet the royal mage and king of the land. Geno and reaper.

Dust first gives the note. Geno reads it and looks curious. a spell encasing a soul? Sharing power and energy? That is a VERY fascinating concept.

Dust doens't like being looked at like the case study. Because it happens RIGHT away. but geno agrees to help. Which means showing the soula dn spell. Dust HATES it but he needs ti. worse is the way that Geno looks fucking excited. He looks THRILLED when Dust shows him the very thing Killing him. (and reviving but Dust doens't know that.)

And that is how it goes. They find him magic dampers to help him control the storm and make it less painful. Then Genoa dn dsut have the magical sessions and soul sessions and Dust feels so exposed and feels ill with being looked at like an experiment but dust NEEDS this. He needs to life and learn to control this stupid storm if he ever wants to see his family again. So he endures.

Worse is that Geno and Reaper still fall in love. Because Dust needs to stay in the castle for his own health reasons. (Dust dropped a few times. His soul starting to give out and had to be revived a few times. so they make sure dust remains close to where the healers and they are to help him back up) Dust still learns his gift and love for horses. He sneaks around. He is still mysterious and aloof. And Geno and Reaper can't help but fall.

Problem? Because of the whole... being looked at like a study case fro the start? I don't think dust will EVER fall for either Geno or Reaepr in this timeline. He can't. Not after what happened. Not after the very thing he fears and hates happening. He can't see them in any other way (in normal Newage dust falls in love BEFORE Geno does his mess up. Meaning that even if it hurt Dust was still in love. Which jsut makes the hurt worse)

Anyway. So Dust doens't love or like Geno and Reaper but knows he owns them so much. So when Geno just starts to feel things for Dust? Dust is even less in a position to say no or decline. Becuase before it was nightmare's treaty on the line. Now? Dust quite literally has a life debt to them both AND they are still helping him recover enough to even be able to life wihtout his magic overcharging and killer himself and everyone around him.

Dust is terrified that if he says no to anything that the support would stop (it wouldn't stop. they would still help him) so... he agrees to it all... It isn't like it is that big of a deal anyway. What is handholding and kissing and making out or even sex compared to them already having seen your soul because you are their science experiment?

Eventually it comes out. Probbaly at the WORST possible moment. Because Reaepr and geno both think the three of them are just dating. Like going WELL dating as they are already sleeping together and everything.

Then geno just says something like "That was perfect" or "That was amazing!" or just that he is so happy.

And dsut wonders and just asks "is... does that mean..." And he frowns and Reaper and Geno are SO SURE Dust will ask if they love him or that he loves them and then "Is the debt repaid?"

It is like a fucking stab through their souls. So after some very pointed questions and Dust realising he messed up and trying to backtrack because damnit aparentyl he wasn't suposed to mention it? but they were kinda joking and talking about marriage and Dust had been nervous because that is a bit far to have to repay but he is only alive because of them so maybe?

Adn it gets out just how Dust saw the relationship. Geno and Reaper are HORRIFIED.

And there is no fixing it. Because Dust is convinced he is just an science experiment and fun past time. There is no convincing him otherwise because that was the reality. ANd it had been the reality for a while.

It does explain to geno and Reaper why Dust would reject any presents or gifts or anything. Dust didn't want to add to his debt and it makes them both sick that that is how he thought about their relationship.

The worst part is... Dust is soon healed. Which means he can leave. and Reaper and Geno don't WANT him to leave because they do love him. hoenstly. And they want to hav eDust with them. Mostly because they just love him but also to make sure that they can prove to him that they hoenstly love him. to prove to him that they honestly care.

But for that they would have to lock him up because Dust WANTS to leave. it is obvious.

In the end Geno adn Reaper just had to let Dust go. (they obviously made sure he got things for the trip and extra money nad gold and had a crystal in case of emergencies if his soul and storm gave him trouble.) they wouldn't let him go without at least making sure he is ready for the trip. Dust muttered about just owning them more and both tried to reassure him there is no debt. (which is what they had been trying since they found out.)

Dust also gets his own horse from them. and he leaves. (geno has SO MANY tracking spells on him. Just because they ARE worried and want to make sure he is okay.)

dust meanwhile? He just goes home. He is mostly cured now. He knows how to handle his spell and storm. So he goes back home. His family is very happy to have him home and he is happy there.

Horror honestly has the least going on with him with this chance. As you said. The family never managed to move in. Or maybe they moved in when Dream lost the crown? but only then.

But as we established. horror woudl never get the chance to grow and become a trusted worker becuase well...everyone was worried about him and so careful with him. Horror is sad aboutit but he loves his family and knows they love him so much and just show they care.

I think Horror woudl always remain with his family. Feeling like he is a burden because he can't do anything to help them. But he is loved and he loves them. And In many ways he is one of the ones with the better faith even if he feels unfulfilled nad aimless and without direction.

Cross is the refuge! He makes his way to reaper's country (and because he is just another refuge and just another person trying to find his way he never got the chance to directly interact with Reaper, Geno or Dust.)

Cross settles and does some odd jobs until he manages to find a more secure job. Maybe he becomes a guard. or maybe. after what happened before he just doens't trust himself with those type of jobs. He can't trust his judgement and doens't want people to connect the dots between the old cross who was the most loyal soldier of xgaster. instead. he just does odd jobs until he finds a good and wellpaying job in the tavern and on the docks as someone who helps thes hips unload (yes cross has two jobs ebcause this boy can not stand staying still and having time for himself and his thoguhts. He wants to keep busy so two jobs) as a result he has a reasonable amount of money for who he is.

I don't think Cross ever falls in love. everyone who flirts with him is a bit TOO direct and makes cross anxious. He of course continues to have many many many crushes but those are just for him to enjoy and talk about with his fellow tavern workers.

I DO however think. It would only be fair that this cross gets to meet epic. another refuge. They hit it off and become besties. Cross deserves the chance to have a bestie. Epic and Cross laugh and hang out. (also. Epic is 100% clairvoyant and keeps talking about how things are all wrong and this shouldn't be this way. epic adores and love shis friend. but he knows this isn't how it is meant to be.) ((on that note. I think Epic should still be in the main story. still the same clairvoyant. the catch is that epic is the same across all the different timelines. the other people change. Epic is just always the same. (same for N lmao). Like how his magic eye plays into it lmao but that is just a random idea))

Error!! OMG! I am so happy for Fresh?! Fresh manages to catch Error, probably causing CHAOS in the already chaotic state of affairs. You just know that the guards were rude and manhandled error. Only for fresh to finally catch up to his little brother and probably USE the parasite power to make sure that whoever touched his little brother can never do that ever again.

Fresh adn Error hug and Fresh just holding Error and just muttering 'thank you gods. thank you for giving him back to him. thank you.' because he is so relieved.

and error. error who was convinced fresha dn geno jsut didn't love him anymore and didn't want him around anymore. being held close as fresh just MURDERED people who hurt him.

Error mentions he doens't understand... he thought they didn't want to deal with error anymore...why else did you both leave?

and fresh just holding error so close because that hurt to hear and he just mutters to error that he loves him so much and he swears he will explain everything to him and why he acted the way he did but fresh reassures him that it was NEVER him. it was never error who did anything wrong. (fresh now also being painfully aware of how he always rejected error when error wanted to hug him or get close. fresh did it to protect his little brother of course but that doesn't chance the fact he still did. Fresh realising just how much he has hurt Error be doing this over and over again.

Dude you thought your killer and dust parts were long ahhaha I am jsut as bad.

I just can't go as far wth horror and cross either because well. as you said. limited options that are realistic for them. because cross didn't get on the boat because of innk and ink was there because of dream planning the revolution (at least partly) so that stops there.

and you mentioned how horror sneaks into the kingdom with his fam to help their fam when it was chaotic with nightmare tkaing over the ruling. which also never happened so they remained locked outside.

okay! That was the reply!! No more holding it hostage :3

#thank you!#I was very proud of the vibe for geno reaper and dust mysefl!#their already slightly toxic start would be SO MUCH WORSE HERE #maybe in a lifetime or so they can heal.#after 50 to 100 years they can recover and try again #(good thing skeletons live long lifes)#and ccino and killer!!!#and killer being allowed to be the rock in their relationship #(showcase that if their roles were reversed they would still gravitate towaerds each other)#becuase killer WENT through this same thing. and he didn't realise how bad it had been until he spend time iwht ink #killer wants to be this person for ccino. to be this save person for him to lean on and rely on #kilelr wants them to become even more over time but knows ccino may never be ready. and he is okay with this.#and yes!! nightmare always knew how important ccino was to him and it sucks he was so hurt.#so nightmare works so hard with outer to learn how to help him.#meanwhile dream first just feels a bit guilty and ashamed he let this happen. then he realises how much ccino did for them #how much he loved them and how ccino had been the one to care for them always.#and he just... he allowed... dream let those people... drema feels sick and ill and terrible and doens't know WHY ccino would still care fo #him. dream wants to beleive it is just the contract (why he doesn't want to break it) but deep inside he knows it isn't. that is what hurts #(killer WOUDL challenge dream to spars and duels to teach him a lesson. Killer makes sure to not seriously hurt or injury him but he is muc #too rough with dream. Holding him down and smirking 'feeling powerless? imagine feeling that the whole time'#'you get to be free from this feeling when the spar is over. ccino STILL feels like this.'#Add to that that once it is over ccino just goes to dream and makes sure to help him celan up and tend to the wounds?#dream doens't say what happens. too embarrassed... and he feels loved and cared for and he cries and ccino just holds him. he cries more)#i am also done for now hihihihi #speak you later spot :D

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diazsdimples · 13 days ago

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2024 wasn't a great year for many, myself included, but it also wasn't the worst year that's existed for me, so I'd like to do a quick rundown of all the positive things that happened for me in 2024! I don't usually celebrate my achievements but honestly, I think I did pretty okay this year all things considered and want to be positive about it!

I helped 12 families welcome their new baby into their lives and delivered those kids with my bare sterile gloved hands! I was also present during 28 c-sections and assisted in 3 neonatal resuscitations.

I finally got out of my toxic relationship of 7 years and began to put myself first and advocated for my needs and wants. I feel 100 times lighter and more hopeful than I've ever been without him connected to me anymore.

I made significant progress towards working on my vomit phobia - something that has dictated how I live since I was in early primary school. I can now be in the same room as someone while they're vomiting without needing to flee.

I cut myself free of a number of unhealthy friendships and have focussed energy into my friends who appreciate me and don't take advantage of me. And I haven't felt guilty about it, even when the people have been playing the victim big time, because I know my life is better off without them.

I got an A+ in all but one of my papers in university and was put on the Dean's List for high achievement for the 2nd year running.

I discovered new hobbies like drawing and puzzling, and have begun to learn Dutch in anticipation of moving over there to work in a few years.

I wrote 13 fics this year, which isn't many compared to a lot of people here but I am chronically bad at finishing things I start so this is pretty big for me 😅

Shoutout here to everyone who I've talked to in 2024, had positive interactions with, or have just made me smile. Thank you all, I'm not sure you quite realise how much this community has impacted me through everything that's been going on.

@theotherbuckley 💙 @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @spotsandsocks @slightlyobsessedwitheverything

@bigfootsmom @perfectlysunny02 @actuallyitsellie @steadfastsaturnsrings @watchyourbuck

@bucksbignaturals @babybibuck @babygirltommykinard @swiftiefirefighters @reginamillls

@kinardbuckleys @inell @tommyscurls @comfortingevanbuckley @loucifersbitch

@bekkachaos @tommykinard @santakinard @imtheiliad @thekristen999

@kitteneddiediaz @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @exhuastedpigeon @aroeddiediaz @vanmarkus

@monsterrae1 @lonelychicago @cal-daisies-and-briars @wikiangela @bidisasterevankinard

@midsummersmorn @bi-buckrights

#james says things #thank you all for everything #love this community a lot!#bring on 2025!

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rightshoeonleftfoot · 1 year ago

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From Afar

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x afab! reader

Summary: You had a bad day and you're head over heels for a Lieutenant that's not even yours. He never even seems to look at you, let alone speak to you. Little do you know, he's been watching you.

Warnings: Stalking (innocent stalking hehe), mutual pining, possessive! Simon Riley, power imbalance.

Words: 1.7k

Part 1 - Part 2

This is not proofread so I'm sorry for any mistakes!! Constructive criticism is 100% welcome :)

I wanna make this a series eventually so let me know if you're interested! I wrote this at work lol

Average. That's what you were. An average soldier. You weren't even a bad soldier, you just weren't outstanding. You simply didn't stand out even though you desperately wanted to. You wanted to stand out to him. To the one man you'd been longing for ever since you saw him walk past you in the hallway when you were on your way to training.

A tall, broad man whose gaze would scare anyone away. He seemed cold, distant, someone you could never get along with. A man with many secrets, someone who wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice his life for his Taskforce. Lieutenant Riley. He never formally introduced himself but you'd heard. You'd heard all the rumours and chatter that surrounded him and you almost felt guilty.

He'd lead training every once in a while, when your superiors were away on important missions. You'd always do your damn best during those times, you wanted his attention, you wanted his praise. Yet, he'd never even so much as glance at you. It left you empty, disappointed and jealous. Jealous of your superior, Sergeant Davidson who'd openly flirt with him in front of everyone, especially in front of you. It's like she had something against you specifically, she'd often make you drop and give her 20 if you did anything that displeased her.

Today had been a shitty day. You'd slept through your alarm and ended up late to an early training session. Your Sergeant made an example out of you, making you run laps and do extra push ups. You were tired and hungry as you'd also missed breakfast, your stomach growling loudly as you were exercising. She had no pity, it was your fault after all. "You shouldn't have been late." She told you. "Don't fuck with the rules." She berated you as you held a plank. She had her foot on your back, occasionally adding weight on you to make you shake and give in to the weight she'd put on you. It was a humiliating morning to say the least, yet your day somehow got worse.

He hated the way she treated you. He hated the way your Sergeant got a power trip every time you did the smallest thing wrong. He wanted to rip her off you, tell her off for treating a Private like an animal. He wasn't supposed to feel anything for you. Hell, he had never even spoken to you once. He would just chalk it up to him being tired and not sleeping through the night. Yet, he couldn't stop himself from looking at you.

At lunch, you were starving and the mess hall was full. Not having eaten since 8 am and you were in desperate need for food. You'd finally picked up your tray and the food looked mediocre at best but you were too hungry to care. You were looking for a place to sit but the mess hall was packed. You skillfully navigated through the crowd of famished soldiers until you found a place. You quickly walked over to it, but it seemed someone had had the same idea as you. In a loud crash, your food fell to the floor, face first because of course it did. Your stomach growled once more as you looked down at the splattered food on the floor. The soldier who had bumped into you quickly apologized, his food untouched apart from the splatter of sauce that had ended on your uniform. Instead of helping you, he bolted off to eat. As you cleaned up your food, you knew your lunch would consist of nothing but vending machine snacks.

He watched. He saw you get bumped into by the careless little soldier. He saw you mutter and swear as you looked down at your food on the floor, completely defeated. "Fuck me, fuck this stupid fucking day." You'd mutter. He saw the way you quietly stared down at your food before picking up the dirty dishes and cleaning up the mess you'd made. He saw the way the soldier left you to your own devices and wanted so badly to berate him for not helping you. But he couldn't. So he watched.

You had a bit of free time after eating your snacks so you went to get changed and take the shower you didn't have time to take. You picked up your clean uniform and headed off to the communal showers, getting ready to wash off the food and sweat off you from this morning. You stripped and eagerly got in the shower. A sudden gasp came out of you. The water was cold. Very fucking cold. It wouldn't warm up even as you waited, your hand in the water. So you took a quick, cold shower.

The shower had left you tense and unsatisfied. A fitting continuation for your awful day. Next came hand to hand combat training. This was led by Ghost, so it lifted your spirits up a little. You walked into the gym early, not wanting to repeat this morning's mistake. Ghost was already there and you saluted him. In what felt like the first time since you'd met, he spared a glance at you. His gaze was cold, his brown eyes felt like they were staring in your soul. It seemed like he was studying you as the glance turned into more of a look, his eyes wandering ever so slightly to your face before he spoke.

"At ease." His voice was deep, deeper than you'd remembered. You felt happy. He had addressed you. It was almost cathartic, hearing him speak directly to you. You almost wantwd him to say more but to your disappointment, he looked away from you and resumed his conversation with your Sergeant. She was laughing and smiling, clearly flirting with him but he wasn't paying her any mind. You found yourself a partner and surprisingly enough, training went without much of a hitch. Both Ghost and Sergeant Davidson were watching over and your Sergeant was being much nicer with Ghost watching over her shoulder.

That was until the Sergeant used you as an example. Ghost looked at her disapprovingly but you didn't notice. She'd tell you to defend yourself but every time would take you down with ease. It left you humiliated and defeated. She finally got off you, clearly proud of herself for whatever reason. Your sparring partner helped you up and muttered something. "That fuckin' bitch." You were happy someone was on your side yet you felt disappointed. Ghost had just stood there, watching. He didn't do anything.

He saw, his mind in turmoil. On one hand, he could stop your Sergeant from taking you down more and cut the training short. On the other hand, he could let her keep going. She was showing a good technique but she wouldn't even give you the chance to try it on her. So he just stood there, conflicted. He wasn't doing anything.

You left training as soon as you could. You were beyond pissed and annoyed at today. You rushed to the mess hall to eat something and for once, everything was going well. You were approached by a soldier. A poor little soldier who was just as oblivious of Ghost as you were. He flirted with you and made you laugh. It was the first time today you'd felt truly at ease. He was making you laugh and over all, the conversation was just nice. You ended up shutting the conversation down early but sharing your contact information with him, a new friend couldn't hurt after all.

Your laugh. Your fucking laugh. Music to Ghost's ears. Music he never even thought he'd like, a soft melody that soothed whatever emotion he was feeling at the time. But that laugh wasn't for him. It was for this other private, this bastard, who dared to approach you while you were eating. He continued watching as you gave the man your contact information and he seethed. He didn't want to be jealous, but he was. He watched you leave to go to the shooting range for your nightly routine and as soon as you were out of sight, he walked to the soldier. The soldier froze when he saw Ghost. Ghost put his hand out, gesturing for the soldier to hand over what you'd given him. The soldier obliged and handed him the paper and Ghost proceeded to chew him out. He was ashamed of what he was doing and couldn't believe he felt the need to chew out an irrelevant soldier for hitting on you. He'd let his jealousy get the better of him.

The range was empty at this hour. Well, not fully but enough for the gun shots to be few and far between, startling you every time one went off. Going to the range after dinner was a part of your routine. There was a sort of pleasure in shooting targets to let loose of your emotions, it was therapeutic. The recoil of the gun as it went off in your hands, whether it was a p226 or an M4A4. You'd shoot for a while, never really looked at the time. But you'd often shoot until you felt the recoil of the gun in your hand without shooting, a familiar feeling.

Then came the cleaning. Cleaning your guns was your favourite part. It was slow and required patience, something you enjoyed. You'd take apart your guns with great care, feeling every nook and cranny as you did so. You'd clean them, taking the time to remove the dirt and grease which had lodged itself in all the cracks and crevices of the pistol. You liked it when they looked brand new. You'd connect your headphones to your phone and would listen to music, wanting to relax and take the edge off as you did a task most thought was tedious. Putting the guns back together was like a puzzle. A puzzle you'd done so much you could do it with your eyes closed. The way everything fit together perfectly, the way each piece clicked together with a soft, metallic sound. It was like a lullaby, soothing you to sleep. A welcome sound as it meant you'd go to bed soon.

Your ritual was over and you felt weary, your eyes closing on their own. With that, your day ended. In your shitty little barrack bed, still oblivious to your shadow. You fell asleep weirdly content with the day you had. Your alarm was set and you were confident you'd be ready for whatever awaited you tomorrow.

The range was big. Lots of places to hide, lots of places to watch. He followed you, his footsteps quiet, completely unheard by you. He enjoyed watching you shoot. It had become his routine as well. He'd watch you, correct your stance in his head without ever approaching you, then he'd watch you clean your guns. It calmed him. It soothed his mind and made him strangely happy to see someone who took such great care in cleaning their guns. He always wondered what you listened to. What had your foot tapping the beat, what had you softly smile when you cranked up the volume. He'd figure it out one day, just not tonight.

#simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #call of duty #ghost call of duty #ghost cod #ghost fanfiction #ghost #ghost smut #fanfic #call of duty fanfic #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley #simon riley x you

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crystallizedtwilight · 7 months ago

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I really like how you draw what you love in the moment. I am making a shift in my drawing interests as well, but I'm starting to feel guilty. My friends and followers know me as the (insert fandom) artist. Deep down I know what I am feeling is silly. Draw what you love! Who cares! I know that is the truth. So my question to you is, what do you do when those thoughts come to your head (if it does)?

What a thoughtful question! Below the cut:

Thank you! I've been on tumblr for 10 years and I have come to accept that I will always receive certain messages when I begin drawing a new interest:

"Guess you don't draw X anymore" / "Why did you stop drawing X?" / "Are you ever going to draw X again?" / "I want more X" / "When can we expect more X?" / "We're never going to see X again, are we?"

Though I've emphasized many times that this is my blog for all of my art and all my fandoms, every time I switch interests I am swamped with messages like this 3-4 months afterwards. It's an inevitability, because new folks may have missed that this is a "my current interest" blog, and old folks may not like the new content you're interested in.

At first it really bothered me, because I'd draw like 150 pieces of art for a fandom for 6 months straight, need a break, and the next day people will be like "guess you don't care anymore" like all the art I did wasn't enough.

The reality is: I like the idea of managing one blog for all of my artwork. I like how low-stress it is to have one, singular place I can still use a playground for my interests. I think it's a concept some people have forgotten is an option. Dare we call it a portfolio.

I am aware that the more "modern" way to conduct things, if you want to build an audience, is to have several blogs, each dedicated to one of your interests. But the very thought of managing 100 blogs every time I got a new interest makes my skin crawl and I know it would instantly suck the fun out of it for me.

I don't want to do that. I don't want to "build an audience", I just want to have a fun space for me. There are already so many social media sites out there besides tumblr, and if you're an artist that uploads to more than one, multiplying those by each of your fandoms? Sounds like more work than I want to do.

I can't remember the name of the artist, but I recall a few years ago one of the artists for the show Korra was bombarded with these sorts of messages when they started posting art that wasn't Avatar-related. And they said something to the effect of "I gave 2 years of my life to this show. Let me explore something new." And I'll never forget that. I feel the same way.

The theme of this blog is "my art". That's it. My interests change, sometimes circle back, and change again. And that's ok—that's how artists keep art fun for themselves. Every artist deserves a playground where they can share and connect with other people who are also just as excited about their newest thing. That's the joy of it.

Keeping yourself in a box just because that's what people want or expect you to do is the death of creativity. I am at peace with people unfollowing if our interests don't align anymore. This was never a blog for catering to anyone but myself, and that is ok.

So those messages don't bother me anymore. I know they're coming. I know they will always be there. And, every time, I will find new folks who do want to share in my new interest. I think in many ways I like starting over again. It feels refreshing.

But more than that, I know the importance of keep a space for myself online where I can be as creative and fun and silly as I like, chasing after the latest thing that is making me smile.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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Would I be the asshole for breaking up with my partner over something my best friend told me?

Hi, I'm 20, (they/he) and have been seeing said partner, 23 (any, also I'll call them V from now on) for almost three years apparently. We met in 2020 at a BLM demonstration and quickly became friends. Back then I had been crushing on them for a while but was in a then closed relationship. My girlfriend of that time (20, she/her, let'scall her F) and I opened our relationship and around Halloween I told V. They asked if it was open sexually or also open romantically. After discussing it with F, we said romantically as well, even though I knew that I was unable to commit 100% to loving someone besides F.

Yes, I know. I should have been honest back then. And I was, in a way. I told V that I didn't think I could love them the same way I loved F. It didn't matter then. But it does now.

F broke up with me in February and since then V and I have gotten closer and gone on regular dates and stuff. I still can't love them the way I should, though. I don't know why. We send each other hearts all the time and I tell them I love them, but only in English, because the words in my native language are too heavy and more meaningful (to me at least).

Now I have thought about breaking up with V thousands of times, and always felt bad because how do I explain that even though I said it(that I loved them) I never meant it 100%?

Last week my two best friends W (20, any) and K(20, he/him) (who are dating btw) were supposed to look after my cat (3, she/her). V was there when W showed up and I explained what to do, when to feed her etc.

Now apparently, when I was gone for a hot second to take out the trash or something, V bit W. V has always been a very affectionate and touchy person which has put off both W and K before, since they barely know V and aren't that touchy even with people they know very well (like me. We've known each other for 9 years and been best friends for 8 and 6 of those respectively). So W told me they signalled that they felt uncomfortable with that but V tried to do it a second time and was only apprehended by W fleeing.

Normally, this kind of boundary violation would cause me to cut ties with someone immediately. I am not a stranger to unwanted affection and know that W feels extremely violated by this. It affected them so much they were mentally incapable to take care of my cat and in the end, V ended up looking after her. Which is why it is so hard for me to know what to do.

W is my best friend. I love them dearly and wouldn't have survived school without them. They were violated and felt so horrible and dirty they had to take a long shower to even feel like a person again.

V is my partner who keeps telling their friends and family how well things are between us. I love their mum and I know some of their friends through work and the CSD parade. I feel so guilty about sort of lying to them and saw this incident as an out of a relationship that should've provably ended months ago.

So would breaking up with them over this make me the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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lex9923 · 10 months ago

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Tw// SA

This will be my one and only official statement on this situation, because frankly I’m done with all of this mental hopscotch happening.

I am a sexual assault victim. I was the same age as Caiti is now when it happened, and I was cornered with his hands down my pants touching my vagina and up my shirt touching my boobs, while I tried to get away and make it stop. I still to this day don’t know who my attacker was, but it will follow me for the rest of my life. It’s been five years since then, and my story has not changed once. Not ever. I hadn’t told people for a couple years cause I thought since I didn’t know who my attacker was, I wouldn’t be believed. As well as the fact that I came forward about a sexual harassment I faced at a job and was met with “well, boys will be boys”. Through it all, I am here, and I survived.

Watching the reaction to this situation from both of the main parties involved, those who weren’t there, those who were, and the fans had sent me spiraling. I’ve spent the past two weeks reliving that trauma from five years ago cause I thought I misinterpreted my assault as something else. I had not, and never have. It’s been incredibly invalidating watching the alleged “victim” change the story multiple times, make fake texts, omit important information, all while not even listening to the person she accused of a criminally offensive act.

Caiti is absolutely allowed to feel uncomfortable and regret what happened after the fact, but it is not, and will not ever be assault-unless George actually did touch her boobs, and then that will be a different discussion, but with her credibility disappearing, I’ll only believe it if he admits it himself. I’m trying to extend grace to her being young, sexually inexperienced, and caught up in online culture, but it’s hard the longer this gets dragged out. There are things you do when approaching a situation like this:

1. You absolutely need to provide evidence and proof of your claims. You can’t prove something that never happened, but you can prove something that did. It’s why it’s innocent until proven guilty. Expecting people to blindly believe you is delusional at worst and ignorant at best.

2. You must absolutely have your story 100% correct and factual to how you perceived what happened, before bringing forth any accusations. Using purposefully charged language and then changing the story to match the one you accused is not it. Nor is changing your story yet again when people are catching on to the inconsistencies.

3. Allow the accused person to defend themself. You can’t expect people to listen to all of your claims-most of them blindly doing so-and then get upset when people wait for both sides to say their piece, especially when you present no evidence at your initial statement. Again, you have to prove guilt. If you can’t prove it, the accused are allowed to defend themself.

4. You are in no way obligated to accept apologies, but acknowledging one was made-multiple times in fact- is the bare minimum. Trying to change your story one last time to make it seem even worse than what you both agreed upon, and then hiding behind “I’m not going to address this anymore” is manipulative at worst and cowardly at best.

I hope Caiti gets therapy, cause it’s clear she’s been severely affected by something, though I’m not sure she even knows what it is. I also hope she learns from this, and next time utilizes the “direct message” function every single app has. This could have been a dm, and the way it spiraled has been a shitshow and her intentions are coming off less and less pure the more this gets dragged out. I’m so sorry she was uncomfortable, and regretful, but until she shows any proof whatsoever of any assault happening, it will never be. I hope she heals, and I hope she gets better friends cause they have all failed her.

For George, I’m sorry this got blown so out of proportion and no one even privately talked to him about any uncomfortability being felt. I’m sorry his friends are performative. I’m hopeful that he was made aware of things he wasn’t before, and will do better next time. He is not irredeemable, and I believe growth is possible (the difference in his two responses proves as such). I hope this isn’t the last we see of him or his content, and I hope he can heal from this as well.

To my fellow SA survivors, I’m so incredibly sorry that our trauma has been thrown around like this. Our hurt and pain do not deserve to be mocked in this way, and I wish it would’ve never even happened. You’re stronger than what happened, regardless of how shitty this situation has been for us. And as a 24 year old, I like to consider myself a big sister of sorts, so I love all of you. We got through it then, we’ll do it again.

Speaking woman to woman, I’m sorry this has been so messed up. This will make it harder for us to come forward in the future and that is indescribably frustrating. However, that does not take away from the pain and hurt we went through, and I hope if you do have the strength to come forward, you are believed.

I’m done with this whole situation. It should not have come to this point, and if you stayed this far, I greatly appreciate you reading this. One last time. Caiti, I’m sorry you were so uncomfortable. Get therapy, better friends, and take a break from the internet. George, I hope you learn from this situation, and I’m sorry you were made out to be a criminally offensive person before giving your side or anyone ever speaking to you.

I hope you both heal.

I hope sexual assault victims having to relive trauma, and are affected by this continue to heal.

I love you all.

Lex

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beanghostprincess · 1 year ago

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i would care if you talked about luffy's issues please talk please tell me all your takes, genuinely (< anon who enjoys your takes)

I am so thankful you asked me this because Luffy is genuinely one of my favorite characters of all time, especially when it comes to shonen protagonists. I'm always saying I don't like shonens (says the one that watches a lot of shonens) but that's mainly because the main characters never feel... Well-written enough for me to like them. But, well, One Piece is different. With all characters, really. It's one of the first shonens I watch that I genuinely love and enjoy because of the characters (shout out to Mob Psycho 100 being one of my favorite animes of all time too because of that same reason).

Luffy is a very complex character and I think that's why he gets mischaracterized most of the time when it comes to the fandom. Some people make him too dumb. Others make him too childish. Others make him way darker and more depressed than he truly is. And I'd say that's weird, having in mind how much the show talks about Luffy and is focused on Luffy's POV, but I kind of understand because people aren't used to characters that are both optimistic and realistic at the same time. Most of the time people consider an optimistic character to be completely idealistic (a good example here is Uta. She is idealistic because she's been sheltered for so long and thinks something as complex as the corruption in the world can be solved with a few songs and love) and refuse to acknowledge the fact that somebody with hopes and dreams can also understand (first-hand, even) the suffering within the world. People like extremes. They like to make both Law and Zoro extremely edgy. They like to babify Sanji and Koby. They forget about Nami's character depth to make her only "the mean lesbian" of the group (that term makes me so fucking furious you don't even know). Etc. Etc. Etc. The thing is: Luffy has layers. His personality varies. He's optimistic. He's realistic. He's stupid. He's emotionally intelligent. He's impulsive. He cares about the safety of the people around him. He's careless. He feels guilt. He's confident. He's so damn insecure. He's playful. He's the most serious character too. Etc. Etc. Etc.

What I want to say with all of this is that Luffy, despite being always perceived as this childish, dumb, and careless character within the fandom, has so much depth and trauma he deals with every fucking day. I once saw somebody saying Luffy is "not smart enough to understand the feeling of sadness" and I started laughing because what the fuck does that even mean. And... Is that person watching the same thing as me? Because the guy has suffered the injustice of the world so many times and so many losses that I can't even count them.

Basically: People portray Luffy as if he hadn't gone through any type of trauma when OP has shown countless times that he has been through a lot. A fucking lot. Perhaps it's the fact that he's the one hiding it all the time in the show, always replacing sadness with the need to be stronger so he doesn't feel like that ever again (aka protecting everyone so he doesn't lose anybody again. And not even in a selfish way to not be alone, although we could say that he does feel like that to some extent. But because his loved ones do not deserve to disappear or die in those ways and he feels guilty whenever it happens because every time, he says it's because he wasn't strong enough to protect them) and that's why most people don't realize how much pain he has gone through. But that's not a very valid argument because we have a lot of arcs that prove it otherwise (Sabaody, Marineford, Film Red, Wano...). So, yeah, I guess people just don't know how to read.

Starting through chronological order, I want to talk about his abandonment issues and savior complex that always seem to go hand in hand.

Luffy doesn't like to be alone. He's a very empathetic and extroverted person. He doesn't like to be bored, always loving the company of somebody else. But, sadly, he has always been kind of alone? People come and go for him all the time, and you can't tell me that doesn't affect him psychologically. He's 7 when he meets Uta and Shanks and the kid has never been more excited! That's when his dream of being a pirate begins and it's the first time he has a friend. A real friend, not just random animals he manages to find or older people that sometimes take care of him. Luffy gets bored easily, so of course, Shanks and Uta, being something new, make his life brighter. With dreams and new experiences and hope for a newer, better life outside his village. And then Uta and Shanks have to go, of course, and he stays all alone again. From what we've seen, the only thing Luffy did when they weren't around was just... Waiting for them to come back to him. That's it. Luffy's joy basically comes from being with people, and especially when he's fixated on somebody in particular, he doesn't let them go. Then they come back... But Uta is not with them anymore. That's Luffy's first heartbreak, in my opinion. It's when he decides that he has to be stronger. He loved Uta so damn much. She meant the world to him. And suddenly she isn't there, giving him no time to say goodbye, and... He only has Shanks. But Shanks refuses to tell him the truth about what happened with her. So here you go! It's the first time Luffy loses somebody this dear to him and the first time Shanks betrays him enough for him to get angry at his hero. He ends up accepting it, of course, but not because he has moved on, but because both Uta and Shanks told him to be stronger. More mature. And he forces himself to grow up faster because he wants something. He wants to know where his friend is, and if Shanks refuses to tell him because he's just a kid, then he'll just have to grow up and become stronger. To become a pirate and to keep the promise he made with Uta. The movies aren't canon so I just keep thinking about Luffy wondering where Uta is, and it breaks my heart every time.

Then Ace and Sabo appear in his life and... They are literally everything to him. I like Garp. He did what he could do. Kind of. But he leaves Luffy on his own with Ace under the care of some bandits (Dadan we love you, queen). So he can't really blame Luffy for the way he turned out to be, honestly. The thing is: Ace and Sabo are, again, something new to Luffy. They are not just friends. They are his brothers, now. We don't talk enough about Luffy's maturity and respect for other people's dreams even when he's just a kid. Luffy literally was kidnapped and beaten up and he didn't dare to say a word about Ace and Sabo's treasure because he respected their dream. He's loyal and understands other people's feelings and hopes perfectly. His empathy and emotional intelligence are just perfect. Then, well, you all know the story, but these two become the most important thing in Luffy's life, not only because they are his brothers, but because they are the representation of their dreams and future. And then it crashes into a million fucking pieces because of Celestial Dragons and classism and rich people quite literally saying "We are burning down the poor because they don't deserve to live! Woohoo!". And it's Luffy's first time realizing that the world is unfair and fucked up and that there are people that believe to be superior to others, a thing that Luffy fights against all the time.

So, Luffy learns that the world is extremely fucked up at a very young age. He has first-hand contact with the abuse rich people inflict on others, in every way. He suffers from the torture that is fighting for your life in the world of pirating and thieves when he's not even a pirate yet. He's just a kid. What the fuck. And then he loses Sabo. His older brother literally is killed by a celestial dragon and he can't do anything about it. He can only cry, of course, he's just a kid. What is he going to do? So he decides to become stronger. Because he feels weak in the hands of what is the injustice of the world. He feels trapped by that injustice, in my opinion, and wanting to be stronger is just the path to freedom. Because freedom means being able to save the people he cares about.

And here's the thing: Luffy's need to become stronger always comes from the guilt he feels after losing somebody, blaming himself even though he literally could have done nothing at the time to save Uta or Sabo. He has a severe savior complex, not to feel better about himself (although you could say that it would certainly fix his fear of being weak) but to not lose anybody else. For some reason he always feels responsible for the faith of the people he loves, he's constantly putting others first and sacrificing himself and then feeling guilty and weak when he can't save them when it wasn't even in his hands to save them in the first place.

Kid Luffy goes through a ton of stuff in his early years and the fear of being alone... Of losing somebody he cares about... It haunts him. He sees Shanks and piracy as the meaning of freedom and strength. It's just that simple for him: If he becomes a pirate, he'll be strong. If he's strong, he'll be free. If he's free, he'll never lose anybody again.

And yet, even if he's confident he'll manage to do this... He's still a kid. He's still a little brother. Ace's little brother. He depends on Ace, too, because that's the one person he has left. Ace promises him he won't die because he's just as confident, and says this as if Luffy was stupid for thinking something could happen to him. Not to get too into Ace's character right now, but the fact that he's constantly wondering if he should be alive to then realize Luffy needs him to stay alive... Is so damn beautiful.

And then he literally dies in front of Luffy. Protecting Luffy. And Oh, boy if that doesn't kill him... But that comes after Sabaody! After losing literally all of his crew! God, stop hurting this guy already for fuck's sake-

Long story short, Luffy manages to get a family. Not a crew. A family. He's not alone anymore, and he proves constantly that he won't let any of them go or die on him the way it happened with Uta and Sabo.

Water 7 is... Rough for Luffy, to say the least. Because it's the first time he sees everything he has built crumbling down. Robin is taken by the Marines. Usopp wants to leave the crew because he doesn't feel like he fits in, even though Luffy knows he is perfect for the family (Usopp just can't believe him because, you know, insecurities suck). And he has to learn how to be a captain. A true captain. He has to make the harsh decision of fighting his best friend and letting him go (his worst fucking fear) at the age of 17 because he's the captain. He has to be mature. And strong. And he definitely doesn't feel like those now. Not when Robin is also on her way to be executed.

Usopp is leaving. Robin might die. And it's just like Uta and Sabo all over again.

So, basically, Luffy grows up too fast. He grows up too fast, with the fear of abandonment and being weak, and the weight of being the captain of a whole crew resting on his shoulders. Besides, he fights against the world government for Robin because he refuses to let her die thinking she doesn't deserve/want to live, and it reminds me a lot of Ace's story. Ace doesn't think he deserves to live but then stays because he realizes that Luffy loves him and needs him. Robin, thanks to Luffy, realizes that she wants to live and that she has a new family to fight for.

Nobody dies and Usopp comes back this time, so everything ends up turning out fine after all! Yay!

Then Sabaody happens and I swear my guy can't have a fucking break.

Who has suffered more, Jesus Christ or Monkey D. Luffy from Sabaody to Marineford? I think we already know the answer.

He loses all of his crew. All at once. His worst fucking fear. They vanish right in front of his eyes and he can't do anything. He feels weak. He's shattered. Completely broken. But he's optimistic, still, because he believes in his crew and he knows they'll find a way to be together again! They've ben through a lot together, and they can find each other in a few days in Sabaody again. It's fine. But he has to delay it, of course, because his other biggest fucking fear is happening right now: Ace might die. His older brother might die.

So if you mix the trauma that caused him to have abandonment issues and a savior complex with the fact that Ace is the only sibling he has left and he is completely alone because his crew isn't by his side anymore... You get the most heartbreaking arc of the show! Awesome.

He does everything he can to save Ace. Ace complains about it, begging him to stay away from danger. And he refuses because he's his brother. He has to fight for him. And he does. And Ace dies anyway. Ace dies protecting him, too, and the hope that was left within him dies completely at that moment. Everything is shattered. His whole world is crumbling down. And I think that Luffy dies too at that moment.

For Luffy, losing Ace is not like losing a limb. Losing Ace is losing his everything. Ace meant the world to him. He was the representation of their dreams and hopes and past and future. He was the only person who knew Sabo like the back of his hand, too. And now Luffy is the only one carrying their souls. All alone.

That's probably Luffy's rock bottom. He doesn't think he deserves to be a pirate (or alive, either, but I don't want to get too deep into his suicidal thoughts I definitely think are a real thing because then this becomes too dark. But yeah. I think he does think about that too). He doesn't think he's strong enough. And he's completely broken.

There's this line from Fleabag that I absolutely adore: "I don't know what to do with it." / "With what?" / "With all the love I have for her. I don't know where to put it now."

Because Ace is gone. He's completely gone. And all the love Luffy has for him turns into grief and he doesn't know what to do anymore if Ace's soul isn't in the world to look after him. He doesn't know what to do if all the love and feelings he has for his brother go to waste. And it's his fault. Because he wasn't strong enough to protect him. Because he wasn't able to protect himself, Ace having to sacrifice himself for him. (And we know he feels guilty about this because he tells Sabo the second they meet again. He apologizes for not protecting Ace. He feels guilty about what happened still. And Sabo is just glad Luffy is okay because he knows his brothers too well to know already what happened).

Then our beloved Jinbe comes along (I love you. Please adopt me) and, following that quote of Fleabag: "I'll take it. No, I'm serious. It sounds lovely. I'll have it. You have to give it to me." / "Okay." / "It's got to go somewhere."

Jinbe reminds Luffy that he still has his crew. That he still has people who need him alive. People that love him and care for him. That he can't be weak if he has helped so many people already. That they're willing to take both the love and pain Ace makes him feel. And it's such a great character development for Luffy... It makes me go insane. He remembers his crew one by one and realizes that he's not alone anymore. That he has to be stronger for them and for Ace. And for Uta. And Sabo. Jinbe is there with him when the others couldn't, and it has nothing to do with Luffy's issues but I just want to mention how much I love Jinbe for this.

But he still feels the need to be stronger and the fear of losing his crew and the people he loves still haunts him. He tells the straw hats to meet after 2 years (that's a long fucking time. Like. Longer than the time they've spent together. Imagine the loyalty, damn). And it's... It's so beautifully written. The 3D2Y scene is one of my favorites because it shows the loyalty and love they have for each other, and how Luffy is willing to become stronger for the people he loves and the ones he has lost along the way. I literally have the tattoo. I am obsessed with the whole concept.

As I said, Luffy's abandonment issues and the fact that he wants to become stronger to never lose anybody again (Savior complex much?) still remain even after his character development. Because that's not something you get rid of. That's just how he is. And I think that, as long as he is with the straw hats, it won't be a problem.

Also I wanted to mention his reunion with Sabo! The guilt he feels for losing Ace? The way he clings onto his older brother as if they were going to take Sabo away from him? They're extremely codependent and I am here for it, honestly. Sabo would die for Luffy and Luffy would kill him if he did that. Also, I don't know where the fuck Sabo is now because I'm only watching Wano but I swear to God if something happens to him I will murder somebody with my bare hands. :)

Oh! And then it comes my favorite arc of all the show: Whole Cake Island (to the surprise of literally no one!). Luffy, in the beginning, is extremely optimistic when it comes to rescuing Sanji. He's simple like that. "If he doesn't want to get married, we rescue him. If he wants to get married, he just brings his wife with us!". And if Sanji didn't want to come back to them (truly not wanting to) he would accept it. But Sanji wants to. Luffy knows Sanji wants to go back to the Sunny with them. He knows Sanji isn't being true to himself. And God, he's desperate. Because Sanji is stubborn and his self-sacrificing and deprecating thoughts are even stronger than Luffy's, and he won't give up until Luffy lets him go. But Luffy doesn't want to fight him, he just wants his cook back. Because he knows that, no matter how much harm he does to him, Sanji is only doing it to himself (one of my favorite quotes from OP). So, Luffy goes again through the desperation of not losing a crewmate, but losing one of his wings. Without Sanji, Luffy can't become the king of the pirates. He's willing to die from starvation for him. Are you- Are you all aware that he almost fucking dies from starvation? I don't think we talk about that enough because what the actual fuck. There's this thing they tell Luffy (I don't remember exactly when or the exact phrasing) about him wanting Sanji back out of selfishness and not because of Sanji's well-being and... I partially agree? Don't get me wrong, Luffy does everything here for Sanji because he knows Sanji is suffering and lying to himself. But Luffy is selfish, too. Luffy doesn't want Sanji to go away because he loves him. That's his cook. He doesn't want to lose anybody else, even less knowing that they're going to be unhappy. That's kind of for me the confirmation of Luffy's abandonment issues. Like- He does everything for his crew, of course, but he's so scared of losing them. Then Sanji comes back to them, of course, and they have their own Pride and Prejudice moment. Not even Jane Austen can write shit like this.

I kind of want to talk about Wano but I haven't finished it yet (I'm like, on episode 1056) but I would like to mention how beautiful it is for Luffy to carry Ace's soul and promises like that. And also the responsibility he carries during the whole arc to save Wano? That's so- It's so fucked up. He's such a good leader and captain and everything I said in this post and all the things he does in Wano show that he will become the king of the pirates. I love him so damn much. I can't even write it down properly.

Anyway, summarizing everything: Luffy has a lot of abandonment issues and a savior complex that becomes unhealthy to the point of sacrificing himself and always carrying the burdens of everyone else. Because he fears he might lose his loved ones if he isn't strong enough. So. You know. It would be great if people stopped saying he's just childish and fun and that he doesn't have any character depth because he's probably the most complex shonen protagonist I've ever seen! He has suffered so damn much it hurts! Live Laugh Love Luffy! <3

#......... i love him a lot #he makes me go insane #please i swear i am okay mentally he just makes me ill #i truly thought this was gonna be longer ngl #one piece #monkey d. luffy

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