#but i also know i am 100% guilty of this same thing

[straydog733]

Seeing my absolute favorite fic author move to a fandom for a show I have no interest in: go...live your best life...I'll always remember the amazing way you wrote absolutely filthy sex ;___; I hope they appreciate you as much as I did.

[machidielontheway]

hmmm made a big money decision i'm not sure about. but i clicked and paid, so there we go !

[psqqa]

rip the lady at the yarn store who didn’t want to start with a dish cloth because “that’s so boring” and instead is going to jump straight into a “washable dog sweater”

[xtreklx]

Nicknames ~ Ninja Turtles x reader

Headcanon: bayverse Turtles x reader

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: SFW, fluff, slightly mature themes (rated 17+, see my masterlist for disclaimer)

A/N: some silly headcanons I thought up about what nicknames the turtles would use for their partners. lemme know ur thoughts 🤭 enjoy!!!

__________

~ Leonardo ~

imo Leo is not suuuuper into nicknames, but he will use some. just nothing too over-the-top for this turtle in blue

he's not a huge PDA guy in general, but he knows that you think it's super cute when he's affectionate

so using a sweet nickname for you is one of the ways in which he is publicly affectionate

his favorite name to call you is "princess" because let's be real, this man is 100% treating you as such

"hey Lee, could you do ___ for me?" "anything for you, princess."

but he will also call you things like: love, beautiful, gorgeous, etc.

because he always wants you to know how much he cherishes and loves you

examples are as follows:

"hey beautiful, how did work go today?"

"are you hungry, gorgeous?"

"I'm gonna go meditate, love. would you like to join?"

just as he cares for his brothers in an almost parental way, he's very nurturing and attentive with you

and he definitely tends to talk to you with a soft voice because you're his delicate and precious flower and he just wants to protect you alwayssssss🥹

you tend to refer to him by his full name, "Leo", or just "Lee"

but he LOVES when you call him handsome, so that's definitely your go-to

it makes him feel like he's the only man on your mind, which is 100% the case, but he loves the reassurance

you'll also use "love" back at him, or "honey", or "babe".

ever the romantic, one of his guilty pleasures is when you answer the phone, greet him, or wake up next to him with a "hey, stranger"

that has his heart fluttering and his face flushing every time he hears it

all in all, he's not a super showy guy, but will take such good care of you and do whatever you need to make you feel loved, and you just want to do the same for him

~ Raphael ~

okay this man is big into nicknames, and I know this is a fact so I am not taking criticism at this time!!!! like, tell me I'm wrong. you can't!!!!

he has a bank of nicknames for you that he uses to come off as cool, flirty, and witty

trustttttt that these are what he uses in public to show his relationship off to his family and friends

he definitely used these nicknames w you before you two started dating as a way to flirt or pick on you (🤭)

because he'll be using these nicknames if he's being sarcastic or facetious

^and these nicknames are: dollface, shorty, tiger, and sweetheart (again I am not taking criticism at this time! I am simply spitting facts)

examples:

if he's training you in the dojo: "you got yer work cut out for ya, shorty." 

every time he greets you (or after a hello kiss): "hey there, dollface."

if he sees that you are getting annoyed: "woooah, easy there, tiger."

if you're starting to get on his nerves: "aight, listen here, sweetheart--"

HOWEVER, in more intimate moments with this guy, he can be a lot more tender, and you'll catch him using names like: baby, doll, or babygirl

"baby, if I ever lost ya, I don't know what I'd do." 

"thanks for listenin', doll."

"come lay with me, babygirl."

at the end of the day, you are the light in the darkness for him, and he is going to make it known to you

as for how you refer to him, you tend to go with either more complimentary nicknames ("big guy" or "big boy", "hot stuff" or "hot shot", etc.) or more jokey nicknames ("hothead", "meanie", or "Raphie")

but secretly, Raph's guilty pleasure is the sound of your voice as you say his name (😉), because it's just a constant reminder that you are his person, a dream come true

and you are aware of this fact, so you like to use it to your advantage

if he's in the middle of something and you need his attention, you know that saying "Raphael," in a low voice and beckoning him with your finger is going to have him dropping everything and sprinting to you

he may act all big and mean, but deep down he's a huge simp <3

~ Donatello ~

like his oldest brother, Donatello is not huge into nicknames

I would argue that Donnie is probably the least likely to use a nickname with his partner

I think this is because tbh you are the most special person in the world to him, so your name is already his most favorite word on the planet!

what better way to describe his special person than with the most special word?

just like he does with his brothers, he's going to repeat your name over and over again when he wants to show you something, but you find it much more endearing than annoying

when he does use a nickname with you, it will be something short and sweet, like honey or darling or sunshine ✨(edit: OHMYGOD U GUYS I forgot abt dove!!! this is something he 100% uses. too cute!!!)

examples:

"hey honey, I fixed your computer screen for you!"

"just five more minutes, dove, I promise"

"do you think I'm a geek?" "no, but I think you're a dork." "thank you, darling."

"I love when you keep me company, sunshine. as the name suggests, you brighten my days!"

he repeats the last one all the time, but even though it's cheesy, it makes you giggle every time

if you're ever feeling especially down, he'll softly sing the "you are my sunshine" song to comfort you and make you smile. it never fails, and his voice isn't that bad!

similarly, you don't have a ton of nicknames for him either, but you will use honey back to him

and you'll call him "cutie" because you know it will make him flush immediately

ESPECIALLY around his brothers. if they hear you call Donnie a cutie, they will tease him about it to no end

he gets all flustered and acts annoyed, but he secretly loves the nickname. 

like Raph, Donnie loves to hear you say his name. it fills him with a sense of pride, knowing that you're his partner in crime. or, as he likes to phrase it, partner in science😎

he will never tell you, but one of his guilty pleasures is when you sternly say "Donatello," as you scold him for working too hard

after you've finished scolding him, he'll let the smile break out on his face and pull you in for a big hug

you always do your best to take care of him and show him how much you love him, so he'll always try to do the same for you

~ Michelangelo ~

as we all know, Michelangelo is BIG into nicknames. definitely the most likely of the turtles to use nicknames with his partner. this is definitely an inarguable fact

he has probably called you every name under the sun; every name that his brain can come up with

his most-used are definitely: sweet cheeks, angel cakes (of course!!!), babygirl, little mama, and babe

but he will also use things like: honey bun, sugar, hot stuff, angel face, love bug, cutie patootie, ohmygod the list goes on and on. 

it's almost like a game he plays with himself, attempting to fit a new nickname for you into each sentence

examples:

on the phone with you: "are you coming down to the lair today, angel cakes? ... wellllllllll, do you think you could bring some pizza with you, little mama? extra cheese? ... pleeeeEEEAaaaSE my gorgeous sugar-bear honey-bun sweetie-pie?"

his brothers, overhearing him on the phone: "SHUT UP, MIKEY!!" 

you watching him break dance: "see my sick moves, sweet cheeks? this skill is all for you, baby girl!"

him being needy: "babe, can you just come to bed? come be my little love bug! I'll give you a massage?"

he may annoy his brothers but he could never annoy you, and you always gave into his sweetness

you were not quite as creative with nicknames as he was, but you still have a few up your sleeve

like his two oldest brothers, Mikey loved when you called him "handsome" or "big guy/boy". it makes him feel like a badass being called those things by his beautiful, attractive partner

"are you gonna walk me home, handsome?" "you really think you can beat me in mario kart? you're on, big boy." ohmygoooood, he's weak in the knees!!!!

you'll also refer to him as "babe" or "baby" on the regular, the second of which his brothers also tease him for

"awe, little Mikey's just a baby. ain't that cute?" Raph always comments, laughing with Leo in the corner

but Mikey didn't give a rat's ass (sorry Splinter). he loves showing off your relationship and bragging about you, especially to his friends and family.

you are easily the greatest thing to ever happen to him. and not only that, but you are a total babe! he scored big time.

[hwashotcheeto]

𝑨 𝑫𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝑶𝒏 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑯𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒛𝒐𝒏

Park Seonghwa X gn!reader

Summary: After you and Seonghwa planned a date, he unfortunately falls ill the day of the events. But you two still find a way to make the most of a bad situation.

WC: 2k

CW: Sick fic, fluffy, so fluffy, lots of fluffy, crying, comfort, cuddles, kisses, lots of fluff and Animal Crossing

AN: Oh wow, another sick fic, your bias is showing, Cheeto. /j

No, but in truth, I've had this in the drafts for over a month and a half and finally wrote it all in a sprint to get myself out of this writing slump I've been in. I guess you all will be the judge of if I managed to put out something of good quality.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, as always!

Tag List: @cherrycel @mxnsxngie @malldreamprincess @asjkdk

You gently held your boyfriend’s burning cheek as you placed the thermometer into his ear. You watched the little screen as you pressed the button, and only a few seconds later, it lit up and beeped in a panicked manner. 

You let out a soft sigh of disappointment, while Seonghwa let out a pained whine as he covered his face with his hands. This was a rare day, in which Seonghwa was free from his busy idol life, and you two had planned to go to dinner to spend time with each other. 

But as luck would have it, he’d awoken that morning to a pounding headache and body aches, and his now confirmed fever of over 100. The universe decided you weren’t having your dinner date tonight, and had to tell you in the rudest way possible. 

You put the thermometer back into its box as you got up from his bed. “I guess I’ll go get you an ice pack and some medicine,” you said dejectedly, leaving the room on a mission to get said items. 

A sigh left your lips as you pulled the ice pack from the freezer. It wasn’t Seonghwa’s fault he got sick, but that probably made it worse. The one day you had together, the first day in months, was ruined by something neither of you could possibly control. 

Frustration crept in as you grabbed the bottle of medicine from the bathroom cabinet, accidently knocking another bottle over in the process. Another sigh left you as you put the bottle back up, muttering curses that would make a sailor blush. 

Despite his fever, you were still planning to stay and take care of Seonghwa. That is, if he wasn’t stubborn and told you he’d be fine on his own. As much as it annoyed you, you did the same thing, so it was a mutual annoyance between you two. 

“Hwa, I have-” You began to say as you walked back into his bedroom, but stopped when you saw Seonghwa with his head in his hands, softly crying. 

You put both items on his desk and rushed over to sit in front of him, gently putting your hands on his arms, all frustration instantly leaving your body in favor of worry. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurted, still keeping his face covered. “I know you were excited about this, and you waited so long, I’m-” 

“Baby, shh,” you cut him off, pulling his hands away from his face. His face was even more red than before, almost like a cartoon character. You couldn’t help but pout at the sight, and quickly grabbed the ice pack to press it against his cheek. Seonghwa gratefully leaned into the cool touch, his eyes falling closed as he did. 

“I’m not mad,” you continued. “Well, I am, but it’s not your fault.” 

“But now we can’t go out.” He paused and sniffled, grabbing a tissue and wiping his nose. “And if you stay here, you’ll get sick.” 

“I’m willing to make that sacrifice.” 

Seonghwa shook his head. “You have to work too-”

“And I’ll call off if I need to.” You reached up with your other hand and held his burning face, wiping away the tears that continued to fall. “Even if we can’t go out, we still have the day to be together. I’d rather spend it taking care of you than not being with you at all.” 

Seonghwa smiled, but it was a weak one that didn’t reach his eyes. Of course he was grateful for you, and the help you were willing to give him. But he also knew that he’d feel incredibly guilty in a few days when you would wake up feeling like he did right now. 

But when he looked into your eyes, and saw the love in them, and the little smile you were giving him as you held the ice pack against his face, he didn’t have it in him to tell you to leave. 

And the idea of watching you leave when he could barely get out of bed on his own made his heart shatter. 

So Seonghwa nodded and reached up to hold your hand. “Then please, stay.” 

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, tokki.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes lit up at the name. This time, his smile was big and genuine. You pressed a kiss to his warm, slightly damp forehead before you pulled back to get the bottle of medicine. Seonghwa took the ice pack and pressed it against the rest of his face, trying to spread the cool feeling as far as he could. 

Seonghwa gratefully accepted the dose of medicine you gave him, even though he gagged at the taste of it. You couldn’t help but giggle at the face he made. He just pouted and put the ice pack back on his forehead. 

You leaned back down and smoothed his damp hair back as he did. “I can make you some tea if you want,” you offered, to which he gratefully nodded as he closed his eyes. 

“Yes please,” he breathed. He adjusted himself to lay back down on the pillows and pull the blanket up to his chest, one hand still keeping the ice pack on his forehand. 

With that, you went on another mission to make your boyfriend a cup of tea. 

As you did, you passed your things you’d left on the kitchen counter, one of them being the case which held your Nintendo Switch. You and Seonghwa had planned to play Animal Crossing together after your dinner date. 

And suddenly, at that moment, you had an idea of how to save your date night. 

You walked back into Seonghwa’s room, his tea in one hand, your Switch in the other, with a huge smile on your face. Seonghwa’s eyebrows went down as he looked at you, but his whole face lit up when he saw the Switch in your hand. 

The two of you wasted no time getting both your games set up, and also getting comfortable. You crawled up onto Seonghwa’s bed to sit on his left side and slid underneath his blanket to cuddle up to him. 

“Are we going to your island or mine?” Seonghwa asked as his game finished loading. His little character came out of his house as the chimes played, dressed very nicely in formal clothes. 

You smiled to yourself as you made your character run across your island. “I want you to come to mine, I have something set up.” 

“You set something up for this?” 

“I did, you have to come look.” You ran into your island’s airport to open the gate so Seonghwa could see the surprise you’d spent days working on. 

Seonghwa excitedly made his character start running across the island, but suddenly stopped, and ran back towards his house. You looked up at his TV to see what he was doing, but Seonghwa waved his hand to make you look away. 

“Don’t look, I have a surprise for you too!” 

“Okay, I won’t look!” You said with a giggle, looking back down at your own Switch as you finished opening the gate. 

It was only a few minutes later that Seonghwa had arrived on your island. You used a little wave emote as his character stepped out of the airport, to which he did it back. 

“So where’s this surprise?” He asked, walking off of the little wooden dock. 

“I’ll show you.” You began walking through your island, of which you and Seonghwa had done many times before. You two had helped each other build your islands, trading items, sending gifts, helping each other cheat the natural progression of the game just because you could. 

You two were connected through this game. It was a part of your relationship just like any other. It held a special place in your heart, and it made you smile when you’d go back and watch clips of you two together, chasing each other with various tools, or messing with the other villagers. 

You and Seonghwa finally made your way to a part of the island away from all the other houses and buildings. Seonghwa gasped when he saw it come into view, and your heart swelled as a smile spread across your face. 

There was a gated garden, with trees and flowers of every kind everywhere. A custom dirt path led you through the various flora, with paper lanterns along the sides to light your way. There were statues in small clearings, and small streams separated the different sections from each other. 

You and Seonghwa followed the path until you came to a table with two chairs. The table had a candle and two meals sitting on top of it, with the moon hanging in the sky behind it and the sky full of stars. 

“Sweetheart,” Seonghwa whispered, staring at the TV as he slowly walked around and looked at everything. “You made this for tonight?” He looked at you, and you couldn’t stop smiling even if you tried. 

“I did,” you said softly. “I made it for you.” 

Seonghwa smiled, but it quickly turned to a pout, and he put his controller down to hug you. You dropped your Switch onto the blanket and hugged him back. 

“I love you.” His voice was hoarse and soft. You slowly rubbed his back as you heard him sniffle again. “You’re wonderful.” 

“I love you too, tokki.” 

You two stayed like that for a while. With your two characters standing beside each other in the garden you made, with the soft ambient noises of the insects and water, the gentle music alongside it as you two were wrapped in each other’s arms in the real world, you knew love could never be felt like this by anyone else. 

Love is an incredibly unique thing, and a love like this couldn’t ever be explained to anyone else. The greatest poets in the world could write about love for centuries to come, but the love you both felt in that moment would pale in comparison to anything anyone could write. 

Seonghwa eventually let you go to rub his eyes. You leaned your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arm around his. He relaxed into you as he reached for his controller. 

“I’d kiss you if I wasn’t sick.” 

“Kiss me anyway.” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Do I have to beg?”

“No, that won’t work on me today.” 

You both broke into giggles as you made your way back to the table. Both your characters took the food off the table, and sat across from each other. You both ate the food, as you would in real life. 

You were ready to leave your Switch, but then Seonghwa got up from the chair and walked over to yours. You suddenly remembered the surprise he had for you, and jumped out of your chair to pick the item he dropped in front of the table. 

“Aww, Hwa,” you whined as you read the item name in your inventory: A chocolate heart. “You can only get this during Valentine’s-” 

“Yep.” He smiled and put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you as close as he could get you. “I held onto it for a moment like this.” 

You put your Switch to the side and cuddled back up to him, giving him a cheek kiss before laying your head on his shoulder. He kissed your head and he squeezed you gently. 

“Saranghae, jagiya,” Seonghwa whispered, his body melting into yours as he held you close. 

“I love you too,” you whispered back. 

You both eventually adjusted to laying back down on the bed, leaving the game on as you two began to drift off to sleep. Like before, the soft sounds of Animal Crossing worked like a lullaby to relax you both, and send you off to a sweet slumber. 

Seonghwa watched his and your character idle together as he played with your hair. He smiled as he looked at the beautiful garden you’d made once more before his eyes fell shut, and he let himself fall into dreams of you.

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol(s) in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

[koolades-world]

can i have the om brothers dealing with insomniac+workaholic!mc? Diavolo made a grave fucking mistake when unwillingly inviting mc to the devildom. can't sleep? work. bored? work. have nothing else to do? ask Lucifer or Diavolo for more work to do, or maybe cook something for Beel.

also, insomnia isn't easy to deal with. they have to pull out the strongest sleep potion or magic out there for that fucker to sleep. "oh have you tried melatonin?" YES I HAVE?? I'VE TRIED- "do you turn off your lights when you go to sleep?" no, i sleep with the lights on-- OF COURSE I TURN OFF THE LIGHTS YOU FUCKIN BALL LICKER. "maybe stop being on that phone of yours at late at night.." I CAN'T FUCKING SLEEP SO I MIGHT AS WELL DO SOMETHING.

whenever mc runs out of things to do, they re-do an assignment that got less than a 100% score.. someone drag this dymbfuck away from their work..

can i be🍷anon? or glass-eater anon? :3

hello!! yes, of course

those are both amazing anon names haha, welcome to the anon crew

enjoy <3

Workaholic Insomniac Mc

Lucifer

you can bet both of yall are making eye contact in the hallway at four am, and neither of you have slept

he gets you bestie

however he's willing to acknowledge both of you are practicing an unhealthy habit

together, you can take days off and as much as you itch to do work, you can stop each other. what a fun bonding activity!

Mammon

this is just like dealing with lucifer so he knows the drill

let you work as much as you want during the day without shirking your other responsibilities, but after dinner, he's dragging you away from it by the back of your shirt

when he can't fall asleep, he goes for a night drive, to nowhere in particular

so, he always invites you, because he knows you can't say no to him

Levi

he's also almost always awake at odd hours of the night, so he's always available

he would not be great to work in the same room as though

however he is willing to get you away from your work for a while to play some games with him

he knows that you need time away from that paper work and as much as you want to go back to it, he'll keep you with him until you complete the level. mark his word haha

Satan

will help you make those sleeping potions, or has solomon make some for you

if you ever want help with your work, he's willing to lend a hand, even though he knows you almost always say no

whenever you're awake at night, he'll come and sit where ever you're sitting to read so you'll have company

more often than not, he and belphie are next to you while you work as a silent indicator of what, or who, is waiting for you when you're done or want to take a break

Asmo

he fully believes in relaxing before bed and since he loves it so much, he suggests you try it with him

the first night you tried didn't really go as planned because he got a little overexcited so you had to try again the next night

that goes much better, and while it wasn't instant sleep, it was certainly better than staring at the ceiling for hours

plus, you get to spend time with asmo! who doesn't want that?

Beel

he won't lie he does enjoy the occasional impromptu meal you make for him when you've really got no more work to do (which is rare)

but he's concerned about you

honestly he thinks you're just like lucifer, you sincerely care about those around you and you work with them in mind

if you ever find random refreshments on your desk in the few moments you were gone, just know it was probably him

Belphie

as the self proclaimed king of sleep, he's always going out of his way to try and help you out

sometimes he falls asleep on your bed waiting for you to join him, while satan is still somehow going strong with his reading

if he notices you sitting at your desk for far too long, he'll start to whine and complain until you get in bed with him

sometimes, while he feels guilty, he'll use his power to help you fall asleep faster and give you a sweet dream that's usually about him

[rightshoeonleftfoot]

From Afar

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x afab! reader

Summary: You had a bad day and you're head over heels for a Lieutenant that's not even yours. He never even seems to look at you, let alone speak to you. Little do you know, he's been watching you.

Warnings: Stalking (innocent stalking hehe), mutual pining, possessive! Simon Riley, power imbalance.

Words: 1.7k

Part 1 - Part 2

This is not proofread so I'm sorry for any mistakes!! Constructive criticism is 100% welcome :)

I wanna make this a series eventually so let me know if you're interested! I wrote this at work lol

Average. That's what you were. An average soldier. You weren't even a bad soldier, you just weren't outstanding. You simply didn't stand out even though you desperately wanted to. You wanted to stand out to him. To the one man you'd been longing for ever since you saw him walk past you in the hallway when you were on your way to training.

A tall, broad man whose gaze would scare anyone away. He seemed cold, distant, someone you could never get along with. A man with many secrets, someone who wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice his life for his Taskforce. Lieutenant Riley. He never formally introduced himself but you'd heard. You'd heard all the rumours and chatter that surrounded him and you almost felt guilty.

He'd lead training every once in a while, when your superiors were away on important missions. You'd always do your damn best during those times, you wanted his attention, you wanted his praise. Yet, he'd never even so much as glance at you. It left you empty, disappointed and jealous. Jealous of your superior, Sergeant Davidson who'd openly flirt with him in front of everyone, especially in front of you. It's like she had something against you specifically, she'd often make you drop and give her 20 if you did anything that displeased her.

Today had been a shitty day. You'd slept through your alarm and ended up late to an early training session. Your Sergeant made an example out of you, making you run laps and do extra push ups. You were tired and hungry as you'd also missed breakfast, your stomach growling loudly as you were exercising. She had no pity, it was your fault after all. "You shouldn't have been late." She told you. "Don't fuck with the rules." She berated you as you held a plank. She had her foot on your back, occasionally adding weight on you to make you shake and give in to the weight she'd put on you. It was a humiliating morning to say the least, yet your day somehow got worse.

He hated the way she treated you. He hated the way your Sergeant got a power trip every time you did the smallest thing wrong. He wanted to rip her off you, tell her off for treating a Private like an animal. He wasn't supposed to feel anything for you. Hell, he had never even spoken to you once. He would just chalk it up to him being tired and not sleeping through the night. Yet, he couldn't stop himself from looking at you.

At lunch, you were starving and the mess hall was full. Not having eaten since 8 am and you were in desperate need for food. You'd finally picked up your tray and the food looked mediocre at best but you were too hungry to care. You were looking for a place to sit but the mess hall was packed. You skillfully navigated through the crowd of famished soldiers until you found a place. You quickly walked over to it, but it seemed someone had had the same idea as you. In a loud crash, your food fell to the floor, face first because of course it did. Your stomach growled once more as you looked down at the splattered food on the floor. The soldier who had bumped into you quickly apologized, his food untouched apart from the splatter of sauce that had ended on your uniform. Instead of helping you, he bolted off to eat. As you cleaned up your food, you knew your lunch would consist of nothing but vending machine snacks.

He watched. He saw you get bumped into by the careless little soldier. He saw you mutter and swear as you looked down at your food on the floor, completely defeated. "Fuck me, fuck this stupid fucking day." You'd mutter. He saw the way you quietly stared down at your food before picking up the dirty dishes and cleaning up the mess you'd made. He saw the way the soldier left you to your own devices and wanted so badly to berate him for not helping you. But he couldn't. So he watched.

You had a bit of free time after eating your snacks so you went to get changed and take the shower you didn't have time to take. You picked up your clean uniform and headed off to the communal showers, getting ready to wash off the food and sweat off you from this morning. You stripped and eagerly got in the shower. A sudden gasp came out of you. The water was cold. Very fucking cold. It wouldn't warm up even as you waited, your hand in the water. So you took a quick, cold shower.

The shower had left you tense and unsatisfied. A fitting continuation for your awful day. Next came hand to hand combat training. This was led by Ghost, so it lifted your spirits up a little. You walked into the gym early, not wanting to repeat this morning's mistake. Ghost was already there and you saluted him. In what felt like the first time since you'd met, he spared a glance at you. His gaze was cold, his brown eyes felt like they were staring in your soul. It seemed like he was studying you as the glance turned into more of a look, his eyes wandering ever so slightly to your face before he spoke.

"At ease." His voice was deep, deeper than you'd remembered. You felt happy. He had addressed you. It was almost cathartic, hearing him speak directly to you. You almost wantwd him to say more but to your disappointment, he looked away from you and resumed his conversation with your Sergeant. She was laughing and smiling, clearly flirting with him but he wasn't paying her any mind. You found yourself a partner and surprisingly enough, training went without much of a hitch. Both Ghost and Sergeant Davidson were watching over and your Sergeant was being much nicer with Ghost watching over her shoulder.

That was until the Sergeant used you as an example. Ghost looked at her disapprovingly but you didn't notice. She'd tell you to defend yourself but every time would take you down with ease. It left you humiliated and defeated. She finally got off you, clearly proud of herself for whatever reason. Your sparring partner helped you up and muttered something. "That fuckin' bitch." You were happy someone was on your side yet you felt disappointed. Ghost had just stood there, watching. He didn't do anything.

He saw, his mind in turmoil. On one hand, he could stop your Sergeant from taking you down more and cut the training short. On the other hand, he could let her keep going. She was showing a good technique but she wouldn't even give you the chance to try it on her. So he just stood there, conflicted. He wasn't doing anything.

You left training as soon as you could. You were beyond pissed and annoyed at today. You rushed to the mess hall to eat something and for once, everything was going well. You were approached by a soldier. A poor little soldier who was just as oblivious of Ghost as you were. He flirted with you and made you laugh. It was the first time today you'd felt truly at ease. He was making you laugh and over all, the conversation was just nice. You ended up shutting the conversation down early but sharing your contact information with him, a new friend couldn't hurt after all.

Your laugh. Your fucking laugh. Music to Ghost's ears. Music he never even thought he'd like, a soft melody that soothed whatever emotion he was feeling at the time. But that laugh wasn't for him. It was for this other private, this bastard, who dared to approach you while you were eating. He continued watching as you gave the man your contact information and he seethed. He didn't want to be jealous, but he was. He watched you leave to go to the shooting range for your nightly routine and as soon as you were out of sight, he walked to the soldier. The soldier froze when he saw Ghost. Ghost put his hand out, gesturing for the soldier to hand over what you'd given him. The soldier obliged and handed him the paper and Ghost proceeded to chew him out. He was ashamed of what he was doing and couldn't believe he felt the need to chew out an irrelevant soldier for hitting on you. He'd let his jealousy get the better of him.

The range was empty at this hour. Well, not fully but enough for the gun shots to be few and far between, startling you every time one went off. Going to the range after dinner was a part of your routine. There was a sort of pleasure in shooting targets to let loose of your emotions, it was therapeutic. The recoil of the gun as it went off in your hands, whether it was a p226 or an M4A4. You'd shoot for a while, never really looked at the time. But you'd often shoot until you felt the recoil of the gun in your hand without shooting, a familiar feeling.

Then came the cleaning. Cleaning your guns was your favourite part. It was slow and required patience, something you enjoyed. You'd take apart your guns with great care, feeling every nook and cranny as you did so. You'd clean them, taking the time to remove the dirt and grease which had lodged itself in all the cracks and crevices of the pistol. You liked it when they looked brand new. You'd connect your headphones to your phone and would listen to music, wanting to relax and take the edge off as you did a task most thought was tedious. Putting the guns back together was like a puzzle. A puzzle you'd done so much you could do it with your eyes closed. The way everything fit together perfectly, the way each piece clicked together with a soft, metallic sound. It was like a lullaby, soothing you to sleep. A welcome sound as it meant you'd go to bed soon.

Your ritual was over and you felt weary, your eyes closing on their own. With that, your day ended. In your shitty little barrack bed, still oblivious to your shadow. You fell asleep weirdly content with the day you had. Your alarm was set and you were confident you'd be ready for whatever awaited you tomorrow.

The range was big. Lots of places to hide, lots of places to watch. He followed you, his footsteps quiet, completely unheard by you. He enjoyed watching you shoot. It had become his routine as well. He'd watch you, correct your stance in his head without ever approaching you, then he'd watch you clean your guns. It calmed him. It soothed his mind and made him strangely happy to see someone who took such great care in cleaning their guns. He always wondered what you listened to. What had your foot tapping the beat, what had you softly smile when you cranked up the volume. He'd figure it out one day, just not tonight.

[ko-existing]

I don't advise you not to quarrel, I don't advise you not to feel regretful

by Being_is_IT / Twitter

Reader: I am actually very sad. I feel that everyone’s practice stories are not so intense, painful and uncomfortable. I always make myself so tired. I have been reading your articles for so long and always feel that I can do it. But in fact, I can’t do it at all. I know nothing. I feel that I am not suitable for practice at all. Although I know that I am just venting my mind, I am really discouraged.

BEINGIS: Then don't practice. I don't know what "practice" is. This concept is the logic concocted by the Mind. Whether or not you have this concept does not hinder your unconditional curiosity about yourself. Your curiosity about yourself is spontaneous and cannot be forced. It is useless to deliberately do any so-called "practice". I never do "practice". I simply enjoy myself casually, enjoy everything and every situation.

I enjoy when things go well, I enjoy when things don't seem to go well, and even enjoy the sensation of feeling depressed. They are all SELF's energetic effects. SELF has no complaint about SELF. It's all perfection in disguise despite appearing imperfect. How can I not enjoy this seemingly imperfect condition while knowing profoundly it's unconditional perfection already?

However, if you really regard yourself as a flawed "person" who needs to be "corrected" or "improved", you are taking illusions seriously.

Reader: Boredom seems to be exactly what I want. Alas, I have been experiencing mania, anger and resentment recently. I just had a big fight with my neighbor. Then I started to fight internally, criticizing whether I was right or wrong to quarrel with others. No matter which result my mind judged, it was full of pain. I remembered that you said that everything was spontaneous and automatic, so quarreling was also a game played by itself, but from the perspective of secular views, I dare not let go and admit that this is SELF's own energetic vibration.

BEINGIS: I don't advise you not to quarrel. Go ahead and quarrel as much as you want, and go ahead and feel guilty. That's okay. Let all the drama proceeds spontaneously and automatically as if they are on autopilot. It's just like you cannot stop the spontaneous and automatic progress of the dream story, there is no way to change the seemingly plotline. Even if you try to change the plotline, such effort is already integral part of plotline.

How ironic it is! However, there is an unconditional awareness or insight, able to be aware of or able to be seeing through these seemingly interesting logical flows, being aware of the Mind's intense desire to try to grasp a certain standpoint of "correctness", being aware of the Mind's criticism according to the seemingly standpoint of correctness.

The Mind will keep narrating such as "I shouldn't lose my temper, I shouldn't quarrel, I shouldn't regret...", you clearly observe these logical functioning of the Mind, but is there really a "you" in this logical story flow? Is there really such a plotline happening? All of it seems real but not actually real. The whole plotline is very much like last night's dream story, which seems to be real but is completely insubstantial at the same time.

Your SELF is not actually stuck in this plotline in spite of a seemingly feeling of 100% participation. Feelings of anger, temper, regret, guilt, are all integral to the logical plotlines, but you do not actually own these plotlines. Let such plotline whistle by spontaneously and automatically, just like letting a storm whistle by, just like you can see the character "I" in the story desperately hiding and escaping from the storm, you notice that there seems to be a character "I" in the plotline arguing with neighbors, and then feeling regretful afterwards.

When you notice all this, you will slowly realize that none of such plotlines have anything to do with your SELF. You do not own any of these plots at all, and you realize that the seemingly full participation is not the actual participation, then you can relax. When you profoundly discover that the seemingly real plotlines are all as empty as dreams, then you can start to enjoy such plotlines. You can start to endure the feeling of pain without having sufferings, you can start to enjoy crying, you can start to enjoy even the sensation of depression, ...,

The next time a similar situation occurs in the plotlines, you will notice it again, again and again. Every time you notice it, it is equivalent to transcending such plotlines. Such transcendence will slowly accumulate, no matter how faint and small such transcendence appears to be in the beginning, and it would shock you when accumulates to a certain extent. This is why that master suggested in the previous article, "See what will happen in a few years."

[crystallizedtwilight]

I really like how you draw what you love in the moment. I am making a shift in my drawing interests as well, but I'm starting to feel guilty. My friends and followers know me as the (insert fandom) artist. Deep down I know what I am feeling is silly. Draw what you love! Who cares! I know that is the truth. So my question to you is, what do you do when those thoughts come to your head (if it does)?

What a thoughtful question! Below the cut:

Thank you! I've been on tumblr for 10 years and I have come to accept that I will always receive certain messages when I begin drawing a new interest:

"Guess you don't draw X anymore" / "Why did you stop drawing X?" / "Are you ever going to draw X again?" / "I want more X" / "When can we expect more X?" / "We're never going to see X again, are we?"

Though I've emphasized many times that this is my blog for all of my art and all my fandoms, every time I switch interests I am swamped with messages like this 3-4 months afterwards. It's an inevitability, because new folks may have missed that this is a "my current interest" blog, and old folks may not like the new content you're interested in.

At first it really bothered me, because I'd draw like 150 pieces of art for a fandom for 6 months straight, need a break, and the next day people will be like "guess you don't care anymore" like all the art I did wasn't enough.

The reality is: I like the idea of managing one blog for all of my artwork. I like how low-stress it is to have one, singular place I can still use a playground for my interests. I think it's a concept some people have forgotten is an option. Dare we call it a portfolio.

I am aware that the more "modern" way to conduct things, if you want to build an audience, is to have several blogs, each dedicated to one of your interests. But the very thought of managing 100 blogs every time I got a new interest makes my skin crawl and I know it would instantly suck the fun out of it for me.

I don't want to do that. I don't want to "build an audience", I just want to have a fun space for me. There are already so many social media sites out there besides tumblr, and if you're an artist that uploads to more than one, multiplying those by each of your fandoms? Sounds like more work than I want to do.

I can't remember the name of the artist, but I recall a few years ago one of the artists for the show Korra was bombarded with these sorts of messages when they started posting art that wasn't Avatar-related. And they said something to the effect of "I gave 2 years of my life to this show. Let me explore something new." And I'll never forget that. I feel the same way.

The theme of this blog is "my art". That's it. My interests change, sometimes circle back, and change again. And that's ok—that's how artists keep art fun for themselves. Every artist deserves a playground where they can share and connect with other people who are also just as excited about their newest thing. That's the joy of it.

Keeping yourself in a box just because that's what people want or expect you to do is the death of creativity. I am at peace with people unfollowing if our interests don't align anymore. This was never a blog for catering to anyone but myself, and that is ok.

So those messages don't bother me anymore. I know they're coming. I know they will always be there. And, every time, I will find new folks who do want to share in my new interest. I think in many ways I like starting over again. It feels refreshing.

But more than that, I know the importance of keep a space for myself online where I can be as creative and fun and silly as I like, chasing after the latest thing that is making me smile.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole for breaking up with my partner over something my best friend told me?

Hi, I'm 20, (they/he) and have been seeing said partner, 23 (any, also I'll call them V from now on) for almost three years apparently. We met in 2020 at a BLM demonstration and quickly became friends. Back then I had been crushing on them for a while but was in a then closed relationship. My girlfriend of that time (20, she/her, let'scall her F) and I opened our relationship and around Halloween I told V. They asked if it was open sexually or also open romantically. After discussing it with F, we said romantically as well, even though I knew that I was unable to commit 100% to loving someone besides F.

Yes, I know. I should have been honest back then. And I was, in a way. I told V that I didn't think I could love them the same way I loved F. It didn't matter then. But it does now.

F broke up with me in February and since then V and I have gotten closer and gone on regular dates and stuff. I still can't love them the way I should, though. I don't know why. We send each other hearts all the time and I tell them I love them, but only in English, because the words in my native language are too heavy and more meaningful (to me at least).

Now I have thought about breaking up with V thousands of times, and always felt bad because how do I explain that even though I said it(that I loved them) I never meant it 100%?

Last week my two best friends W (20, any) and K(20, he/him) (who are dating btw) were supposed to look after my cat (3, she/her). V was there when W showed up and I explained what to do, when to feed her etc.

Now apparently, when I was gone for a hot second to take out the trash or something, V bit W. V has always been a very affectionate and touchy person which has put off both W and K before, since they barely know V and aren't that touchy even with people they know very well (like me. We've known each other for 9 years and been best friends for 8 and 6 of those respectively). So W told me they signalled that they felt uncomfortable with that but V tried to do it a second time and was only apprehended by W fleeing.

Normally, this kind of boundary violation would cause me to cut ties with someone immediately. I am not a stranger to unwanted affection and know that W feels extremely violated by this. It affected them so much they were mentally incapable to take care of my cat and in the end, V ended up looking after her. Which is why it is so hard for me to know what to do.

W is my best friend. I love them dearly and wouldn't have survived school without them. They were violated and felt so horrible and dirty they had to take a long shower to even feel like a person again.

V is my partner who keeps telling their friends and family how well things are between us. I love their mum and I know some of their friends through work and the CSD parade. I feel so guilty about sort of lying to them and saw this incident as an out of a relationship that should've provably ended months ago.

So would breaking up with them over this make me the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[lex9923]

Tw// SA

This will be my one and only official statement on this situation, because frankly I’m done with all of this mental hopscotch happening.

I am a sexual assault victim. I was the same age as Caiti is now when it happened, and I was cornered with his hands down my pants touching my vagina and up my shirt touching my boobs, while I tried to get away and make it stop. I still to this day don’t know who my attacker was, but it will follow me for the rest of my life. It’s been five years since then, and my story has not changed once. Not ever. I hadn’t told people for a couple years cause I thought since I didn’t know who my attacker was, I wouldn’t be believed. As well as the fact that I came forward about a sexual harassment I faced at a job and was met with “well, boys will be boys”. Through it all, I am here, and I survived.

Watching the reaction to this situation from both of the main parties involved, those who weren’t there, those who were, and the fans had sent me spiraling. I’ve spent the past two weeks reliving that trauma from five years ago cause I thought I misinterpreted my assault as something else. I had not, and never have. It’s been incredibly invalidating watching the alleged “victim” change the story multiple times, make fake texts, omit important information, all while not even listening to the person she accused of a criminally offensive act.

Caiti is absolutely allowed to feel uncomfortable and regret what happened after the fact, but it is not, and will not ever be assault-unless George actually did touch her boobs, and then that will be a different discussion, but with her credibility disappearing, I’ll only believe it if he admits it himself. I’m trying to extend grace to her being young, sexually inexperienced, and caught up in online culture, but it’s hard the longer this gets dragged out. There are things you do when approaching a situation like this:

1. You absolutely need to provide evidence and proof of your claims. You can’t prove something that never happened, but you can prove something that did. It’s why it’s innocent until proven guilty. Expecting people to blindly believe you is delusional at worst and ignorant at best.

2. You must absolutely have your story 100% correct and factual to how you perceived what happened, before bringing forth any accusations. Using purposefully charged language and then changing the story to match the one you accused is not it. Nor is changing your story yet again when people are catching on to the inconsistencies.

3. Allow the accused person to defend themself. You can’t expect people to listen to all of your claims-most of them blindly doing so-and then get upset when people wait for both sides to say their piece, especially when you present no evidence at your initial statement. Again, you have to prove guilt. If you can’t prove it, the accused are allowed to defend themself.

4. You are in no way obligated to accept apologies, but acknowledging one was made-multiple times in fact- is the bare minimum. Trying to change your story one last time to make it seem even worse than what you both agreed upon, and then hiding behind “I’m not going to address this anymore” is manipulative at worst and cowardly at best.

I hope Caiti gets therapy, cause it’s clear she’s been severely affected by something, though I’m not sure she even knows what it is. I also hope she learns from this, and next time utilizes the “direct message” function every single app has. This could have been a dm, and the way it spiraled has been a shitshow and her intentions are coming off less and less pure the more this gets dragged out. I’m so sorry she was uncomfortable, and regretful, but until she shows any proof whatsoever of any assault happening, it will never be. I hope she heals, and I hope she gets better friends cause they have all failed her.

For George, I’m sorry this got blown so out of proportion and no one even privately talked to him about any uncomfortability being felt. I’m sorry his friends are performative. I’m hopeful that he was made aware of things he wasn’t before, and will do better next time. He is not irredeemable, and I believe growth is possible (the difference in his two responses proves as such). I hope this isn’t the last we see of him or his content, and I hope he can heal from this as well.

To my fellow SA survivors, I’m so incredibly sorry that our trauma has been thrown around like this. Our hurt and pain do not deserve to be mocked in this way, and I wish it would’ve never even happened. You’re stronger than what happened, regardless of how shitty this situation has been for us. And as a 24 year old, I like to consider myself a big sister of sorts, so I love all of you. We got through it then, we’ll do it again.

Speaking woman to woman, I’m sorry this has been so messed up. This will make it harder for us to come forward in the future and that is indescribably frustrating. However, that does not take away from the pain and hurt we went through, and I hope if you do have the strength to come forward, you are believed.

I’m done with this whole situation. It should not have come to this point, and if you stayed this far, I greatly appreciate you reading this. One last time. Caiti, I’m sorry you were so uncomfortable. Get therapy, better friends, and take a break from the internet. George, I hope you learn from this situation, and I’m sorry you were made out to be a criminally offensive person before giving your side or anyone ever speaking to you.

I hope you both heal.

I hope sexual assault victims having to relive trauma, and are affected by this continue to heal.

I love you all.

Lex

[beanghostprincess]

i would care if you talked about luffy's issues please talk please tell me all your takes, genuinely (< anon who enjoys your takes)

I am so thankful you asked me this because Luffy is genuinely one of my favorite characters of all time, especially when it comes to shonen protagonists. I'm always saying I don't like shonens (says the one that watches a lot of shonens) but that's mainly because the main characters never feel... Well-written enough for me to like them. But, well, One Piece is different. With all characters, really. It's one of the first shonens I watch that I genuinely love and enjoy because of the characters (shout out to Mob Psycho 100 being one of my favorite animes of all time too because of that same reason).

Luffy is a very complex character and I think that's why he gets mischaracterized most of the time when it comes to the fandom. Some people make him too dumb. Others make him too childish. Others make him way darker and more depressed than he truly is. And I'd say that's weird, having in mind how much the show talks about Luffy and is focused on Luffy's POV, but I kind of understand because people aren't used to characters that are both optimistic and realistic at the same time. Most of the time people consider an optimistic character to be completely idealistic (a good example here is Uta. She is idealistic because she's been sheltered for so long and thinks something as complex as the corruption in the world can be solved with a few songs and love) and refuse to acknowledge the fact that somebody with hopes and dreams can also understand (first-hand, even) the suffering within the world. People like extremes. They like to make both Law and Zoro extremely edgy. They like to babify Sanji and Koby. They forget about Nami's character depth to make her only "the mean lesbian" of the group (that term makes me so fucking furious you don't even know). Etc. Etc. Etc. The thing is: Luffy has layers. His personality varies. He's optimistic. He's realistic. He's stupid. He's emotionally intelligent. He's impulsive. He cares about the safety of the people around him. He's careless. He feels guilt. He's confident. He's so damn insecure. He's playful. He's the most serious character too. Etc. Etc. Etc.

What I want to say with all of this is that Luffy, despite being always perceived as this childish, dumb, and careless character within the fandom, has so much depth and trauma he deals with every fucking day. I once saw somebody saying Luffy is "not smart enough to understand the feeling of sadness" and I started laughing because what the fuck does that even mean. And... Is that person watching the same thing as me? Because the guy has suffered the injustice of the world so many times and so many losses that I can't even count them.

Basically: People portray Luffy as if he hadn't gone through any type of trauma when OP has shown countless times that he has been through a lot. A fucking lot. Perhaps it's the fact that he's the one hiding it all the time in the show, always replacing sadness with the need to be stronger so he doesn't feel like that ever again (aka protecting everyone so he doesn't lose anybody again. And not even in a selfish way to not be alone, although we could say that he does feel like that to some extent. But because his loved ones do not deserve to disappear or die in those ways and he feels guilty whenever it happens because every time, he says it's because he wasn't strong enough to protect them) and that's why most people don't realize how much pain he has gone through. But that's not a very valid argument because we have a lot of arcs that prove it otherwise (Sabaody, Marineford, Film Red, Wano...). So, yeah, I guess people just don't know how to read.

Starting through chronological order, I want to talk about his abandonment issues and savior complex that always seem to go hand in hand.

Luffy doesn't like to be alone. He's a very empathetic and extroverted person. He doesn't like to be bored, always loving the company of somebody else. But, sadly, he has always been kind of alone? People come and go for him all the time, and you can't tell me that doesn't affect him psychologically. He's 7 when he meets Uta and Shanks and the kid has never been more excited! That's when his dream of being a pirate begins and it's the first time he has a friend. A real friend, not just random animals he manages to find or older people that sometimes take care of him. Luffy gets bored easily, so of course, Shanks and Uta, being something new, make his life brighter. With dreams and new experiences and hope for a newer, better life outside his village. And then Uta and Shanks have to go, of course, and he stays all alone again. From what we've seen, the only thing Luffy did when they weren't around was just... Waiting for them to come back to him. That's it. Luffy's joy basically comes from being with people, and especially when he's fixated on somebody in particular, he doesn't let them go. Then they come back... But Uta is not with them anymore. That's Luffy's first heartbreak, in my opinion. It's when he decides that he has to be stronger. He loved Uta so damn much. She meant the world to him. And suddenly she isn't there, giving him no time to say goodbye, and... He only has Shanks. But Shanks refuses to tell him the truth about what happened with her. So here you go! It's the first time Luffy loses somebody this dear to him and the first time Shanks betrays him enough for him to get angry at his hero. He ends up accepting it, of course, but not because he has moved on, but because both Uta and Shanks told him to be stronger. More mature. And he forces himself to grow up faster because he wants something. He wants to know where his friend is, and if Shanks refuses to tell him because he's just a kid, then he'll just have to grow up and become stronger. To become a pirate and to keep the promise he made with Uta. The movies aren't canon so I just keep thinking about Luffy wondering where Uta is, and it breaks my heart every time.

Then Ace and Sabo appear in his life and... They are literally everything to him. I like Garp. He did what he could do. Kind of. But he leaves Luffy on his own with Ace under the care of some bandits (Dadan we love you, queen). So he can't really blame Luffy for the way he turned out to be, honestly. The thing is: Ace and Sabo are, again, something new to Luffy. They are not just friends. They are his brothers, now. We don't talk enough about Luffy's maturity and respect for other people's dreams even when he's just a kid. Luffy literally was kidnapped and beaten up and he didn't dare to say a word about Ace and Sabo's treasure because he respected their dream. He's loyal and understands other people's feelings and hopes perfectly. His empathy and emotional intelligence are just perfect. Then, well, you all know the story, but these two become the most important thing in Luffy's life, not only because they are his brothers, but because they are the representation of their dreams and future. And then it crashes into a million fucking pieces because of Celestial Dragons and classism and rich people quite literally saying "We are burning down the poor because they don't deserve to live! Woohoo!". And it's Luffy's first time realizing that the world is unfair and fucked up and that there are people that believe to be superior to others, a thing that Luffy fights against all the time.

So, Luffy learns that the world is extremely fucked up at a very young age. He has first-hand contact with the abuse rich people inflict on others, in every way. He suffers from the torture that is fighting for your life in the world of pirating and thieves when he's not even a pirate yet. He's just a kid. What the fuck. And then he loses Sabo. His older brother literally is killed by a celestial dragon and he can't do anything about it. He can only cry, of course, he's just a kid. What is he going to do? So he decides to become stronger. Because he feels weak in the hands of what is the injustice of the world. He feels trapped by that injustice, in my opinion, and wanting to be stronger is just the path to freedom. Because freedom means being able to save the people he cares about.

And here's the thing: Luffy's need to become stronger always comes from the guilt he feels after losing somebody, blaming himself even though he literally could have done nothing at the time to save Uta or Sabo. He has a severe savior complex, not to feel better about himself (although you could say that it would certainly fix his fear of being weak) but to not lose anybody else. For some reason he always feels responsible for the faith of the people he loves, he's constantly putting others first and sacrificing himself and then feeling guilty and weak when he can't save them when it wasn't even in his hands to save them in the first place.

Kid Luffy goes through a ton of stuff in his early years and the fear of being alone... Of losing somebody he cares about... It haunts him. He sees Shanks and piracy as the meaning of freedom and strength. It's just that simple for him: If he becomes a pirate, he'll be strong. If he's strong, he'll be free. If he's free, he'll never lose anybody again.

And yet, even if he's confident he'll manage to do this... He's still a kid. He's still a little brother. Ace's little brother. He depends on Ace, too, because that's the one person he has left. Ace promises him he won't die because he's just as confident, and says this as if Luffy was stupid for thinking something could happen to him. Not to get too into Ace's character right now, but the fact that he's constantly wondering if he should be alive to then realize Luffy needs him to stay alive... Is so damn beautiful.

And then he literally dies in front of Luffy. Protecting Luffy. And Oh, boy if that doesn't kill him... But that comes after Sabaody! After losing literally all of his crew! God, stop hurting this guy already for fuck's sake-

Long story short, Luffy manages to get a family. Not a crew. A family. He's not alone anymore, and he proves constantly that he won't let any of them go or die on him the way it happened with Uta and Sabo.

Water 7 is... Rough for Luffy, to say the least. Because it's the first time he sees everything he has built crumbling down. Robin is taken by the Marines. Usopp wants to leave the crew because he doesn't feel like he fits in, even though Luffy knows he is perfect for the family (Usopp just can't believe him because, you know, insecurities suck). And he has to learn how to be a captain. A true captain. He has to make the harsh decision of fighting his best friend and letting him go (his worst fucking fear) at the age of 17 because he's the captain. He has to be mature. And strong. And he definitely doesn't feel like those now. Not when Robin is also on her way to be executed.

Usopp is leaving. Robin might die. And it's just like Uta and Sabo all over again.

So, basically, Luffy grows up too fast. He grows up too fast, with the fear of abandonment and being weak, and the weight of being the captain of a whole crew resting on his shoulders. Besides, he fights against the world government for Robin because he refuses to let her die thinking she doesn't deserve/want to live, and it reminds me a lot of Ace's story. Ace doesn't think he deserves to live but then stays because he realizes that Luffy loves him and needs him. Robin, thanks to Luffy, realizes that she wants to live and that she has a new family to fight for.

Nobody dies and Usopp comes back this time, so everything ends up turning out fine after all! Yay!

Then Sabaody happens and I swear my guy can't have a fucking break.

Who has suffered more, Jesus Christ or Monkey D. Luffy from Sabaody to Marineford? I think we already know the answer.

He loses all of his crew. All at once. His worst fucking fear. They vanish right in front of his eyes and he can't do anything. He feels weak. He's shattered. Completely broken. But he's optimistic, still, because he believes in his crew and he knows they'll find a way to be together again! They've ben through a lot together, and they can find each other in a few days in Sabaody again. It's fine. But he has to delay it, of course, because his other biggest fucking fear is happening right now: Ace might die. His older brother might die.

So if you mix the trauma that caused him to have abandonment issues and a savior complex with the fact that Ace is the only sibling he has left and he is completely alone because his crew isn't by his side anymore... You get the most heartbreaking arc of the show! Awesome.

He does everything he can to save Ace. Ace complains about it, begging him to stay away from danger. And he refuses because he's his brother. He has to fight for him. And he does. And Ace dies anyway. Ace dies protecting him, too, and the hope that was left within him dies completely at that moment. Everything is shattered. His whole world is crumbling down. And I think that Luffy dies too at that moment.

For Luffy, losing Ace is not like losing a limb. Losing Ace is losing his everything. Ace meant the world to him. He was the representation of their dreams and hopes and past and future. He was the only person who knew Sabo like the back of his hand, too. And now Luffy is the only one carrying their souls. All alone.

That's probably Luffy's rock bottom. He doesn't think he deserves to be a pirate (or alive, either, but I don't want to get too deep into his suicidal thoughts I definitely think are a real thing because then this becomes too dark. But yeah. I think he does think about that too). He doesn't think he's strong enough. And he's completely broken.

There's this line from Fleabag that I absolutely adore: "I don't know what to do with it." / "With what?" / "With all the love I have for her. I don't know where to put it now."

Because Ace is gone. He's completely gone. And all the love Luffy has for him turns into grief and he doesn't know what to do anymore if Ace's soul isn't in the world to look after him. He doesn't know what to do if all the love and feelings he has for his brother go to waste. And it's his fault. Because he wasn't strong enough to protect him. Because he wasn't able to protect himself, Ace having to sacrifice himself for him. (And we know he feels guilty about this because he tells Sabo the second they meet again. He apologizes for not protecting Ace. He feels guilty about what happened still. And Sabo is just glad Luffy is okay because he knows his brothers too well to know already what happened).

Then our beloved Jinbe comes along (I love you. Please adopt me) and, following that quote of Fleabag: "I'll take it. No, I'm serious. It sounds lovely. I'll have it. You have to give it to me." / "Okay." / "It's got to go somewhere."

Jinbe reminds Luffy that he still has his crew. That he still has people who need him alive. People that love him and care for him. That he can't be weak if he has helped so many people already. That they're willing to take both the love and pain Ace makes him feel. And it's such a great character development for Luffy... It makes me go insane. He remembers his crew one by one and realizes that he's not alone anymore. That he has to be stronger for them and for Ace. And for Uta. And Sabo. Jinbe is there with him when the others couldn't, and it has nothing to do with Luffy's issues but I just want to mention how much I love Jinbe for this.

But he still feels the need to be stronger and the fear of losing his crew and the people he loves still haunts him. He tells the straw hats to meet after 2 years (that's a long fucking time. Like. Longer than the time they've spent together. Imagine the loyalty, damn). And it's... It's so beautifully written. The 3D2Y scene is one of my favorites because it shows the loyalty and love they have for each other, and how Luffy is willing to become stronger for the people he loves and the ones he has lost along the way. I literally have the tattoo. I am obsessed with the whole concept.

As I said, Luffy's abandonment issues and the fact that he wants to become stronger to never lose anybody again (Savior complex much?) still remain even after his character development. Because that's not something you get rid of. That's just how he is. And I think that, as long as he is with the straw hats, it won't be a problem.

Also I wanted to mention his reunion with Sabo! The guilt he feels for losing Ace? The way he clings onto his older brother as if they were going to take Sabo away from him? They're extremely codependent and I am here for it, honestly. Sabo would die for Luffy and Luffy would kill him if he did that. Also, I don't know where the fuck Sabo is now because I'm only watching Wano but I swear to God if something happens to him I will murder somebody with my bare hands. :)

Oh! And then it comes my favorite arc of all the show: Whole Cake Island (to the surprise of literally no one!). Luffy, in the beginning, is extremely optimistic when it comes to rescuing Sanji. He's simple like that. "If he doesn't want to get married, we rescue him. If he wants to get married, he just brings his wife with us!". And if Sanji didn't want to come back to them (truly not wanting to) he would accept it. But Sanji wants to. Luffy knows Sanji wants to go back to the Sunny with them. He knows Sanji isn't being true to himself. And God, he's desperate. Because Sanji is stubborn and his self-sacrificing and deprecating thoughts are even stronger than Luffy's, and he won't give up until Luffy lets him go. But Luffy doesn't want to fight him, he just wants his cook back. Because he knows that, no matter how much harm he does to him, Sanji is only doing it to himself (one of my favorite quotes from OP). So, Luffy goes again through the desperation of not losing a crewmate, but losing one of his wings. Without Sanji, Luffy can't become the king of the pirates. He's willing to die from starvation for him. Are you- Are you all aware that he almost fucking dies from starvation? I don't think we talk about that enough because what the actual fuck. There's this thing they tell Luffy (I don't remember exactly when or the exact phrasing) about him wanting Sanji back out of selfishness and not because of Sanji's well-being and... I partially agree? Don't get me wrong, Luffy does everything here for Sanji because he knows Sanji is suffering and lying to himself. But Luffy is selfish, too. Luffy doesn't want Sanji to go away because he loves him. That's his cook. He doesn't want to lose anybody else, even less knowing that they're going to be unhappy. That's kind of for me the confirmation of Luffy's abandonment issues. Like- He does everything for his crew, of course, but he's so scared of losing them. Then Sanji comes back to them, of course, and they have their own Pride and Prejudice moment. Not even Jane Austen can write shit like this.

I kind of want to talk about Wano but I haven't finished it yet (I'm like, on episode 1056) but I would like to mention how beautiful it is for Luffy to carry Ace's soul and promises like that. And also the responsibility he carries during the whole arc to save Wano? That's so- It's so fucked up. He's such a good leader and captain and everything I said in this post and all the things he does in Wano show that he will become the king of the pirates. I love him so damn much. I can't even write it down properly.

Anyway, summarizing everything: Luffy has a lot of abandonment issues and a savior complex that becomes unhealthy to the point of sacrificing himself and always carrying the burdens of everyone else. Because he fears he might lose his loved ones if he isn't strong enough. So. You know. It would be great if people stopped saying he's just childish and fun and that he doesn't have any character depth because he's probably the most complex shonen protagonist I've ever seen! He has suffered so damn much it hurts! Live Laugh Love Luffy! <3

[lostcauses-noregrets]

so I saw some people claim the "only one man" is a mistranslation and that eruris spread it on purpose as misinformation because the original panel says something like "isn't there someone i can bring back" and I'm just wondering why only one man is suppose to be a mistranslation when it basically means the same, idk who translated it as "only one man", but imo it fits since levi is only thinking about erwin anyways right? but yeah I'd be curious if you know who originally translated it as only one man and why because we all know the official translations aren't always 100% accurate and not just in AOT

Tumblr now adds dates to the asks in my inbox so I can feel even more guilty about how long it takes me to answer them 😭 This one has been languishing since July and I’ve been meaning to answer it ever since.  I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long Anon. 

Anyway, I do actually remember seeing some drama about this on twitter back in the summer. The whole thing made me laugh because the screen cap that was being touted around as proof of Eruris duplicity is actually one of mine.

I capped this from one of the spoilers that came out in April 2016. I am not responsible for the translation though.  I don’t know who actually translated this because I can't find the original and there were multiple accounts releasing spoilers and translations at the time plus at least two groups, if not more, doing full scanlations. It wasn’t uncommon for multiple and often quite different translations to appear, as more manga panels were leaked and the full raws finally became available.  It’s also worth noting that some of the translations were from Chinese and some from the original Japanese. As you can imagine, the translation of certain panels often became very contentious, particularly when only fragments of the chapter were available.  If you look back at the archive of the #snk 81 tag on my tumblr blog you can actually see the spoilers being released along with the various translations.  I'm not quite sure when this particular version first appeared but I think @yusenki was one of the first to post a spoiler translation.  You can see that they translated this panel as “Anybody…only one person”.  There are various versions of this panel that I collected over the course of the week, including this one from a French translation of the chapter. 

This isn’t the first time questions about the alleged “mistranslation” of this panel have come up.  I spoke to @tsuki-no-ura about this and they pointed me to these two asks (X, X) they’ve already answered on the subject. Here’s the most relevant part. 

So although this translation is worded slightly differently, Erwin is right there in every version and the meaning is still clear - Levi can only bring back one person with the serum, and it’s unambiguous who he is thinking of.  @tsuki-no-ura has also made some other interesting points about how these panels have been translated, but I’ll leave them to add more if they have time. 

Hope that answers your question Anon, and apologies once again for taking so long to reply.

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

Hi!

Would Platonic Yandere! Scott Summers ever manipulate reader? Or just fully or subtly infantilize them to keep them safe? Or maybe even gaslight them?

To him it would just be like oh I’m doing it to keep you safe of course even if I am making you rely on me but I don’t want you to realize this :)

(Sorry if this is a crappy ask I haven’t gotten a chance to really get into X - Men and the idea was really only half formed when i submitted it)

(Ps why does Scott kind of lowkey give off Platonic Yandere! Dick Grayson vibes? No just me? Ok 🥹😂)

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️💙💙💙💙

⭐️anon

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍…

!!! GN reader, manipulation (shocker), strict Scott, control issues, Dck Gryson cameo, accidental infantilism, accidental gaslighting.

X-Men content is like a drug. I was dragged in by ‘97, then started watching the OG cartoon, then started picking up the comics, and now look at me. My life is ruined. Run while you still can.

Scott’s manipulation completely comes in the form of abusing his leadership position. He’s not afraid to threaten you with disciplinary action as the field commander of the X-Men, even if it’s over something as little as you not wanting to abide by his made up curfew. If you wanna be an X-Men, then you have to listen to him both on and off the field. How can he depend on you if you don’t, huh?

Scott has to be in control. Bad things always happen when he’s not, so the thought of not having you — someone he views as a sibling, or even his own child — under wraps is absolutely terrifying. Yes, it might seem like he’s being a total prick to you, but this is just what all of the trauma over the years has done to him. He can’t really help it!! Please respect his authority!!

He just wants to keep you safe… please let him keep you safe…

Now, I usually imagine the reader to also be an X-Man when it comes to platonic Scott. But if that’s not your cup of tea, then the whole leader thing kind of falls flat. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t hold the same commanding presence, however. “Because I said so” is his main go-to for manipulation (if you even wanna call it that), and he’ll say it in the same tone he uses against Wolverine or Gambit whenever one of those bozos are acting up. He’s older and wiser than you, and that obviously means he knows best. Why are you questioning him?

As for the Dick Grayson comparison… not gonna lie, I’ve thought about a Nightwing/X-Men collab idea before, but that’s beside the point. Dick has a full arsenal of manipulation tactics at the ready, one of them being the more stricter, no-nonsense angle that may be reminiscent of Scott’s. But whereas Dick likes to metronome between any and every possible manipulative strategy out there, Scott pretty much only has one. And it’s barely a conscious decision, either. Should he ever have to actually think about manipulating you, he’s actually feel pretty guilty about it before convincing himself it’s for your own good.

Infantilism is less of a manipulation tactic and more of a way he shows his love. He is 100% convinced you’re just a little baby and doesn’t find it weird at all to treat you as such. His delusional ass will absolutely carry you around in his hip and think you’re the crazy one for not liking it. There might be a little gaslighting in that regard, but definitely not heavy-handed or on purpose. You’re an adorable little thing… don’t all adorable little things like to be carried? Huh… weird. Maybe you’re just not used to it.

All and all, while he’s sharp enough to see through most forms of manipulation, actually executing it is another story. This man is way too blunt to be charming and too emotionally constipated to lean harder into his softer side. Heads up: there’s a chance you may walk in on him reading books on parenting.

[dipplinduo]

DipplinShipping Headcanon

Kieran's absolutely WEAK when it comes to Juliana crying. Tears of joy, sadness, or otherwise.

Oh yes this 100% completely breaks him no matter how much angst is in his heart. He is helpless and it's his kryptonite. And yet again, one of my favorite things about this ship is how different some of this stuff would look like at different points even though it's the same love at the end of the day, just evolving and complex:

- Early Teal Mask Kieran: Pedestals and admires everything she does, but deeply resonates with feeling too much. Doesn't fully know how to console her no matter what kind of crying it is and it kills him, because no one ever helped him with his deep emotions he still doesn't fully understand.

- Late Teal Mask Kieran: this one is kind of similar, but he'd also have a bit more of an internal struggle because he's actively pulling away from Juliana emotionally since he's improperly labelling her as an obstacle. He'd try to convince himself she's twisted and manipulating people. But he would still want to be by her side. It would eat at him.

- Edgy Sleepless Kieran: He wants to prove his strength to her. He just gets so hyperfixated on it, and seeing her sad cry either makes him go "Oh, I fucked up" or "OH, WHO AM I FUCKING UP"

Somewhat Stable Kieran: he's just floored and flabbergasted because Juliana, someone he sees as so strong and sweet, is still somehow human. It helps him get over himself a bit because he starts to understand that being emotionally open is a sign of personal strength, not weakness like he'd thought. He wouldn't do or say much to her, though, because he still feels guilty and has some misplaced anger he's holding onto. If he let that go, then he'd have to feel the shame he's been trying to run from. So he would watch her intently instead. If she caught him looking at her, he'd quickly look away with his chin up and act aloof. But everyone around him would immediately read through it because it's so obvious (think his "wowzers" and spy movie lines)

- Post Reality Dose Kieran: he's very overprotective of her, and will hold her and fuck up a bitch if it's sad cry and if he needs to. Sometimes Juliana has to tell Kieran she'll be okay because seeing her unnerved is how we low-key reactivate some of his edge. LOL.

[spotty-bee]

Hazbin Hotel Headcannon

I've been thinking a lot about Adam, Lute, Vaggie and the exorcists. How they all work and everything that we've learned over the course of the show about them. After looking over the pictures of them without their masks and all the back dealings with heaven I was kinda starting to think...

What if their all related?

Adam and Vaggie have the same skin colour. Lute has Adam's nose. They all have golden pupils (Though Vaggie's sclera is red, many have head cannoned that being from living in hell.) Vaggie and Lute both have white hair. Theres a lot of similarities between these characters physically and while that can be due to the art style, I do start to wonder.

However WHY would Lute , Vaggie and possibly all the exorcists be Adam's daughters? Well it starts to make sense when you remember that Sera wanted to keep the Exterminations under wraps. If you have Heaven Born or Saint (Dead humans who got into Heaven) warriors doing the exterminations, word would eventually get out. These people have lives outside of their work and all it would take is talking to a spouse or one of them feeling guilty before news spreads. IF you have warriors who's entire life was Exterminations, then they would A- be less likely to tell anyone and B- Be less likely to feel guilty if they weren't taught anything else.

As for where all these woman came from, my guess would be cloning. We know for a FACT that Heaven has Science.

A good way to get warriors that won't have outside influence/ loose lips is if they don't have any parents that will be wondering whats going on. Cloning would also ensure that warriors will walk off the assembly line fully grown and ready to train. Adam likely used his DNA and then mixed it with donated DNA from other Heavenly Residents . All he then had to do was train his army.

OF course this opens up some rather dark things to consider. There are at least 100 Exterminators. All of them are female. The likelihood of that happening by happenstance is extremely low. Adam had to have chosen to only have woman in his army, and when you factor in Adam's misogynist, narcissistic attitude, that dose not paint a pretty picture. We also need to consider that Adam was left to train/educate these woman with almost no outside interference. Sera made it clear she wanted as little to do with the Extermination business as possible and she maybe one of the few who knew about the army's creation. IN FACT I know she had nothing to do with the army because, apparently, Adam got to name these girls and nobody, and I mean NOBODY, stopped him from naming Vaggie after female anatomy. (I wouldn't be surprised if Vaggie is a nickname and she's actually just named Vagina.)

They seem to have lived a life of constant training and battle. Its also heavily implied that Vaggie (and Lute to a lesser extent) were taught to view themselves as disposable. Worthless if they didn't have someone to serve. We see it when Vaggie tries to lead the trust exercises, when she beats herself up for not making a proper commercial for the hotel, in fact she seems to have little personal life unless its training or Charlie is involved. Lute herself rips off her own arm just to try and help Adam. If Adam did raise/train them, then these are some pretty bad signs.

These are just some things I was thinking about looking over the show. I am also not making this to bash anyone who ships Adam and Lute. This is all speculation and personal interpretation. I've just never felt anything romantic between Lute and Adam, but they were clearly close. I took that last, tearful goodbye in the finally as a distant, estranged Father- Daughter relationship.

Anyway, what do you think? Its highly unlikely this is true, but could make for a fun, dark fan fiction or Au!