#but i DO know that i havent even gotten to the main point of the scene yet💀💀💀

[im-still-watching-anime]

ughhhhh writing is so HARD what do you MEAN it took me two and a half hours to write 900 words

[ajdrawshq]

got a shit ton of 3ds games recently n am going thru the ones that interest me whenever i have time that isnt being used for taking the cat off the curtains. so far that has been Ever Oasis n Code of Princess n FE Fates. i like them :]

[onlyjaeyun]

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

[thatdeadaquarius]

Heyo, Idk if you still do sagau but I hope you do 🙏🙏 anyway, this is lowkey wholesome but imagine one of acolytes were trying to communicate with a child but then they realize the child is deaf but reader so happened to be nearby. So then, whatever the character is saying the reader translates into sign language and its just a wholesome sight to see. Btw srry if this isn't what you usually write 😓 add anything to this if you want

OH NO THIS IS EXACTLY ALL THAT I WRITE RN ANON DW MY LOVE 😍

(*update: im so stupid i thought ur sunglasses pfp was a anon and didnt look any closer💀i aint livin this one down)

(Spoiler: i do plan to do imagines for other fandoms bc i have such niche AUs or ideas for them, a lot like this whole language stuff for Genshin Sagau :D )

IVE WANTED TO LEARN ASL FOR SO LONG BUT I HAVENT GOTTEN THE CHANCEEE theres no classes for it where i live ;/

THAT IS TO SAY I LIVEEE FOR COMMUNICATION STUFFFFF

Also srry its kinda short i just could only think of this cute little scenario- 😗

Rest in peace bc i have a whole fat post i wanna make about neurodivergence + general accessibility issues in Teyvat and their countries

Like where r the ramps babe

Where r the non-narrow ass doors

Why r we just constantly made to hike up mountains when we dont have to

And dont come at me with that,

"Theyre in their medieval age! They cant make stuff like that!"

Yeah, u right, they cant.

If they dont be ✨️creative ✨️and they dont use their fucking ✨️magic ✨️

Liyue got floating rocks and they cant make a goddamn disability elevator?? Bitch tf?

THAT IS TO SAY IN A VERY RANTING COUGHPASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AT GENSHIN COMMUNITY FOR NOT REPPING DISABILITIES MORECOUGH

WAY OF SAYINGGGG

Literally almost no one gets sign language in Teyvat

(despite the fact that in my perfect teyvat, sign lang. is superior bc everyone could make it the universal lang. ESP if we go by the cool AU of diff countries have diff languages, like Germanish lang for Mondstadt, Frenchish for Fontaine, etc.)

Off topic again srry-

◇

But you took a class once!! Or even checked out the alphabet and casual convo on ur own time :D

So u just chillin with Kazuha, Thoma, Sara, Gorou, and Kokomi (they vistin the main island to see u!! :] )

Meanwhile a little girl is walking around nearby, and is kinda going in circles

Almost like shes scared to go too far one way or the other,

So being the caring soul he is, (rlly all these boys here rn would notice and help lol)

Thoma comes up to her and squats down trying to talk to her :)

...

Yeah, she didn't say anything, just kinda,,

Motioned with her hands??

She looks like shes doing some kind of code to them..

Oh!

Thoma finally recognized this, its that hand language!! lmao hes got the spirit

so he asks Kazuha to try and see if he knows it or can even figure it out-

Nope. Nada de nada.

Then Kokomi, Sara and Gorou (whos a sweatin nervous mess he doesnt know how to act around kids esp kids in distress he seems like the type lol)

They all fail, Kokomi looks concerned bc she thinks the kids lost, but there no frantic parents nearby, Sara is trying to slowly understand what motions mean what i.e. points to a rock = learn sign from child etc,

Kazuha is trying to get the wind to help locate upset guardians nearby, and Gorou...

... is just 🧍‍♂️

LMAOOO

◇

So after a minute of this (bc u had originally been away at a street food vender, hey those dango were rlly good dont judge urself)

U come back, and see this mild flavor of chaos-

And are just like

"Oh ffs- just shoo, i got it guys"

And just, slowly, go thru some signs with the little girl to get the keywords at least

She lights up and is like bouncing, she goes hella fast at first but slows down when she gets ur hearing

Either way, she looks a lot happier now

U explain for her to the others to confirm her parents got seperated from her

She got lost and where she last saw them

u finally help escort her to the street she last saw her parents on :] !!

◇

Meanwhile the whole allogene group, shopkeepers, and Inazumans around you:

😦😯🥰🥺💓💞💘💖

Kokomi is holding back a squeal, shes gotta keep up her image, ahem-

Sara is like,, minutely vibrating?? Lmao

Kazuha is watching u like a fireworks show, intensely and yet fascinated

GOROU'S TAIL IS KINDA WAGGINGGG AW LOL

And Thoma just looks like a puddle of affection, just absolutely melted (he loves kids + he secretly loves you = dead Thoma)

Other people look weirdly, proud? Like theyre like "yeah thats our god, fuck yeah, knowing diff languages, go off, Your Grace 💅 " LMAO SORRY COULDNT RESIST and also some fascination

♡

Anyway, 2 very stressed looking dads see yall and the girl and one of them run up to hold each other

She starts rapidly signing, explaining to her dads the adventure she had and the cool people she met <3

The dads look at u and r like 🤔😶😱 "YOUR MAJESTY??!!" (VIGOROUS HAND MOTIONS)

They sign like,

"We're terribly sorry about you seeing us like this, we usually are much more together than this, a crowd just swept her off, its very busy today. Thank you so much for helping our girl, my Lord!! 😭😭"

Theyre like almost crying, oh geez, u reassure them and sign back that it happens to any parent at some point and that is matters more that they tried to get her back :]

◇

Meanwhile the rest of the group and the citizens are just watching yall like its the most amazing Olympic level tennis match in the world LMAO

Heads all in sync, watchin yall like 👋👍🙏LMAO IM SORRY

AW IT SUCKS ABOUT WRITING BC I CANT RLLY DEPICT SIGN LANGUAGE AS COOL AS I CAN IN COMICS OR THRU ART

THE EMOJI HANDS NEED SIGN LANGUAGE DAMMIT-

♡

🎵 Hi, it's me. I'm the problem, it's me. 🎵

That is to say none of yalls asks r eaten up, at least im pretty sure? Dw abt it im chugging along having the time of my life hehe >:)

Yall are fEEDIN ME TONIGHT!!

Hope yall r having a good weekend and have no hw if ur in school, or i hope ur shift goes good tomorrow! :]

Love yall!!

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[leonenjoyer69]

how do you write. (specifically fics)

i have like some ideas currently but i havent brought myself to write anything yet at all 😭

also any tips/advice you find helpful would be cool too

Vjejfiejkf ty for this ask, I'm actually so honored--

First of all, I tend to write everything on my phone in a writing app, bc I'm not about that Laptop life, but otherwise, uh, I'll throw this into two categories--

Oneshots: generally for one shots I get beamed with an idea and immediately go Yap about it, either on my server or with one or two specific people that I know will help me develop it via feedback :3

then, I generally jot down a synopsis of what I have so far and random little ideas of what I want to include, usually so I can return later and know wtf I was thinking to do next. I have a good few WIPs where I didn't end up doing that, and guess who doesn't know how to continue them now, so yeah, always do AT LEAST a brief little synopsis. Also goes for multi chapter fics, ofc. They also don't have to be serious or anything, like, this was the thing up top for my mind jekyon fic:

Very silly, but it gets the whole idea and big points across.

Multichapter fics: okay, this one's,,, a decent bit different, mainly bc I have my girlfriend (who also edits my stuff) plotting things for A Little Identity bc I'm actually really bad at plotting and pacing longer stuff.

I usually go to her with ideas and future plans and she'll dive deeper into the ideas I have for the next chapter I need to write so I have more guidance, makes things much easier for me, bc I get stuck less.

But, this could also probably be substituted once more by must talking with someone you think could help you develop it. Feedback and extra ideas are a writer's best friend! Go yap about your ideas! Especially with someone you know will bounce ideas back with you!

Motivation to write tho,,,, I have a few things.

-listening to a playlist or songs that remind you of a character or certain scenario you wanna write about. I have a character playlist for each of my tgs OCs, and then one for A Little Identity in general, and there are a few songs I straight up associate with future chapters that I can't even talk about yet. They form a whole little scene in my head, and having that makes it much easier to write it. Additionally, when I maybe get stuck with characterization, I'll go listen to that specific characters playlist. Music is your best friend! I've gotten beamed MANY ideas from songs, at random sometimes too.

-do a sprint with sprinto! It's a discord bot that gives you a 15 minute timer and takes your starting and ending word count and calculates it, ranking it against anyone else who did the sprint with you. It's very good for more competitive people, and it's a very nice thing to have on a server. I've seen it get people out of a writer's block on my server, so it's certainly nice to use.

-let the writing drive come to you. I won't lie, most days just aren't writing days for me. The English language will allude me, I'll get stuck on where I want to go next, dialogue will destroy me, etc.

I think writing is just kinda like that sometimes, so just write what you can when you can! If you have a main fic you feel you need to update but also a bunch of little oneshots, then work on whatever you feel the drive to! There's no point in trying to force yourself to work on one thing when you have a bunch of ideas for another thing-- the most important thing is that you wrote in general.

The time will come when you get the motivation and ideas for that other thing, so just do what you can when you can, writing is writing :3

-reread what you've already written, or if it's a fanfic, reread/watch the source material. I can't tell you the number of times rereading all of Lanyon's lore pages has given me new ideas with Elias, as well as just reading through old stuff or incomplete oneshots that have my OCs and such. Sometimes you just need a refresher!

-read other fics. This generally helps see how other people format things, which can sometimes help when you're struggling. Sometimes I'll also search for stuff that has specific things that I don't know how to describe very well.

Andddddd I think that's all I've got? Hopefully this helps people, so go out and write! There's never enough fan fics 🙏thank you again for the ask :3

[desire-mona]

so, i want to get into nickel creek, where do i start?

a comprehensive guide / masterlist by desire mona :-)

so ive gotten like. probably 3 or so asks about this + i need a pinned post for the nickel creek community so im making this. keep in mind that i am still a relatively new fan so i definitely dont have the seasoned advice that someone who's been listening for a while would have.

more info under cut!

lets start with the basics -

who is nickel creek?

nickel creek is a 3 piece bluegrass band from california made up of chris thile on mandolin, sara watkins on fiddle, and sean watkins on guitar. all 3 members are vocalists and sing lead vocals on various songs, but youll most likely hear chris on main vocals in a majority of their songs. though they are categorised as bluegrass / folk, their music delves into sounds from a variety of different genres, so a general acoustic label would probably be more fitting. they were originally known as "the nickel creek band" starting in 1989, but they dropped the "the" and "band" in uhhhhhhhh... some time before 2000.

what should i listen to first?

thats honestly up to you, i think anywhere is a good place to start since literally everything they make is good, but i can give u some kick off points so u can know whether or not u like them the quickest i suppose. i was introduced to them at a pretty young age, and the 2 songs that i remembered after years of not hearing them were the lighthouse's tale and this side.

lighthouse's tale - youtube, spotify, apple music

this side - youtube, spotify, apple music

after deciding that i should fully commit to the creek, i started with the tiny desk. i was BLOWN away by how kickass their live vocals were. i went thru and i listened to their albums one by one after that, but i'll have a list of all the albums later on.

"ummmm mona that's too many fucking buttons!!"

ok FINE here's two much easier ways but i think the way i did it was best. whatever.

both my father and my fellow creeker coworker discovered them from their best of album released just after they began their hiatus from 2007-2014. that was a good starting point to go through and listen to the rest, but beware that there are two (very good) albums that came out after this was released.

reasons why: the very best - youtube, spotify, apple music

OR i'll be extra nice and make a spotify playlist for you that i'll eventually make a youtube playlist as well (but not apple music im not paying for that shit <3)

(DO NOT LISTEN ON SHUFFLE - IT IS IN INTENDED ORDER)

every nickel creek album (even the baby ones)

*im doing my best to link physical copies from their official merch site, but some vinyls havent been reissued. if theyre not sold then ive linked the amazon page, but if theyre just sold out then ive linked the merch page anyway. physical copies linked are cds and vinyls respectively, sorry tape users.

little cowpoke (1993) - internet archive, cd

here to there (1997) - youtube and theres a cd but its over $100 so

nickel creek (2000) - youtube, spotify, apple music, physical copies (cd on official merch site is sold out as of 10/2/24)

this side (2002) - youtube, spotify, apple music, physical copies

why should the fire die? (2005) - youtube, spotify, apple music, physical copies

a dotted line (2014) - youtube, spotify, apple music, physical copies (no dotted line physical copies on the merch site, sorry!!)

celebrants (2023) - youtube, spotify, apple music, physical copies

ok fine i like these guys, what can i watch?

OH IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!! here are my favs, you can do some exploring on your own as well!

their music videos

celebrants music videos (these are live performances)

2002 live @ aol sessions

2000 acoustic innovators documentary

toxic cover

studio session @ the current + interview

cmt's on the verge

new haven 2024 concert

kill bill cover w/ kacey musgraves

ok but what else have they done?

well all 3 members have their own solo careers, as well as separate bands and projects that theyve done. i wont be linking anything for this section, so you're just gonna have to do some digging for yourself.

chris thile:

solo career

unbelievable amounts of collaborations, too many to list

punch brothers

mutual admiration society

live from here

probably other shit, chris is kinda everywhere

sara watkins:

solo career

watkins family hour

im with her

mutual admiration society

sean watkins:

solo career

watkins family hour

fiction family

works progress administration

mutual admiration society

in conclusion + notes

listen to nickel creek or i will kill you with hammers. if you have any more resources youd like me to add to this post, let me know and i absolutely will!! i do plan on making some fandom-y stuff, such as blinkies and dividers. if youd like to check out all of *my* nickel creek posts, you can visit my #certified creeker tag, or if youd like to see all my posts about chris thile, you can visit my #dangly mandolin boy you will be mine tag. i apologise about the name i just. i like him.

thank u for reading!! feel free to send to anyone you want to annoy the shit out of <3

[idcpxseur]

MORE random hcs that will potentially appear in my rewrite

not all of them are headcanons, some of them are lore drops that i decided to throw in for funsies

ive had this sitting in my drafts for so long

[ link to my last hcs post in case ya missed it ]

aphmau is obsessed with dating sims (this was inspired by me discovering blooming panic)

aphmau is a compulsive doodler. to the point where she keeps a little notepad in her bag so she doesnt draw on her hands

laurence is visually impaired/going blind

travis, garroth, and katelyn have all gotten their tongues stuck to frozen lightpoles in their lifetime

dante & travis are childhood friends and travis had a crush on dante in highschool

katelyn and lucinda met in middle school and have had a weird love/hate relationship since

cadenza, kiki, and zoey live in a neighborhood close to the main cast

nana goes by [kandi/honey/sugar] not kawaii chan (there was no way i was keeping that stupid nickname. havent picked which nickname shed go by)

aphmau loves dating sims and got katelyn and nana hooked on them too

nana is actually a magicks user just like in mcd

she uses her little maids to do her chores around the house (katelyn and aphmau hate her for it)

aphmau had a fnaf hyperfixation and infected the entire group with it

aside from nana, who hates anything even remotely spooky

during halloween on mystreet, aaron has dressed up as ghostface

everyone lost their minds

aside from aphmau and katelyn, who laughed at everyone losing their minds

nana actually has an intense fear of relationships which is why she obsesses over other people's relationships because she romanticizes them in her head

garroth, despite also being of the fruity variety, is the friend who buys anything rainbow and gives it to his gay friends

laurence has been and will continuously be the main victim of this

garroth also has no idea what a lot of the flags mean despite everyone reminding him

katelyn has bpd

and he frequently wears crop tops to show it off too

travis is a lil sleepy guy. if hes not doing something important, you can and often will find him curled up snzzing

and we love him for it

aaron is the friend that carries around shit for his friends

specific stim toys for specific people (chewables and clicky keyboards for aphmau, a puzzle ball for zane, soft weighted plushies for nana)

hes got a man purse /hj

aphmau has two long, jagged, faded lines on her back that she was born with. they look like were once deep scars

but theyve never went away and only seemed to have gotten bigger??

while not a big practicer of the craft, travis seems to be really good with witchcraft and magicks

no one knows what his magicks is though because both lucinda and nana have said it feels off

aphmau used to scare zane in a weird way. which is why (aside from just hating everyone and everything) he avoided her for so long before they got close

that fear is gone though

...mostly

travis has dressed up as spiderman for several halloweens in a row

aphmau and zane have gotten hyperfixated on beetlejuice together and dressed up as bj and lydia for halloween and cons

not at all inspired by myself and my best friend wdym

okay this hc list is even longer. i was supposed to be writing but i ended up... not doing that.

anyway thats enough for today!! sorry for my absence im focused on actually pushing out the fucking rewrite instead of just yapping about it

[antiv3nom]

Bedman (Romeo)

omg havent had an excuse to talk abt bedman in a hot minute thank u anon...

favorite thing about them:

i love the tragedy of his story arc... that feels like a weird thing to say but its the first thing that came to mind! just. look. the road to hell paved with good intentions bit taken to the extreme really works here!!! the idea that he remembered the name of every person he ever killed because he was under the impression he could bring them all back, only to have the rug pulled from under him? hurts me! in the best way!!!

other than that i do enjoy his design, both romeo himself and the bed :] i wanna give my bedman cosplay another try sometime for sure, it didnt work out for various reasons but i have most of the components and would enjoy cosplaying him fr in the future

least favorite thing about them:

i think i dont really dislike anything about the way bedman is written in the source material strongly enough to point it out here? i think my main gripe is the way the fandom treats him to either extreme, like theres "bedman did nothing wrong ever" people and "bedman is horrific" people and i wish both camps would chill out and recognize hes like. a complex character? but i do think most people do this already which i can appreciate

favorite line:

im a little obsessed w his win line against may in xrd

"I do not understand humans who are motivated by love. A person is born, lives for a number of years, and interacts with up to eight billion people. What proof is there of something they can't even define?"

bc like. buddy. you dont even realize it. YOURE driven by love. all this shit wasnt just for yourself but it was for delilah too!!! fuck!!! you dont even see it as love you see it as necessary because shes that important to you!!! and dont even get me STARTED on the bed in strive and how its still running because of his last minute code additions which almost act as the last part of his will to protect delilah. GAHHHH

brOTP:

BEDMAN AND AXL INTERACTIONS. PLEASE. PLEASE. their dynamic is so interesting as characters with such fascinating ways of interacting with the world...gah. GAH. and no one fucking talks about it!!!

OTP:

sinbed. must i wlabo.

ok but i will, im not as into them as i was like a year ago but i still do really enjoy their dynamic. sin being such a beacon of hope and being so willing to see people as good contrasted with a post-xrd living bedman (bc all my sinbed stuff exists within au but im having fun out here so sue me) seeing himself as inherently evil due to his actions despite his intentions and believing no one would ever care for him? it hits for me

nOTP:

i dont know of anything off the top of my head that ive seen for him??? nothing prevalent at least.

actually on second thought i think ive seen like one instance of bedman and ram in a romantic sense, and that im not a fan of but i guess i could see the appeal, just not my thing

random headcanon:

this motherfucker would have gotten heated in some internet forums or wiki talk pages, DEDICATED to accuracy out here and he WILL fight you about it

unpopular opinion:

not entirely certain i have one? i think the "bedman while flawed is not actually a terrible person and was doing his best given his extremely fucked up circumstances" is a pretty cool take by this point for most people

i think the only thing i have is that my interpretation of bedman has always been as like a young adult rather than a kid but like i dont really have a concrete opinion on that and i totally understand people who do see him as a kid like its entirely understandable to do so

song i associate with them:

other than his character themes, its GOTTA be dramaturgy by eve, which just. it gives the vibes. read the english lyrics it will make sense i prommy

favorite image of them:

THE EEPER...

OTHER than this one its more an animation but his 6p in xrd is so silly i love it so bad...and for a more serious option his instant kill is really cool

[letitiaslabyrinth]

ADDICTION

warnings: not a lot, mostly just alcohol addiction that ends in sobriety.

pairing: Shuri x You

word count: 662

a/n: havent written for my girl Shuri in a while. I've got a lot of relatives who drink but haven't gotten sober yet so if I wrote the sobriety wrong in any way, let me know please

not proof read.

Shuri drank a lot. Most of the time it was out of stress, which you understood seeing as how she's Queen, The Black Panther, and practically the main scientist in Wakanda. She had tasks and duties and projects to do every moment of every day and when she finally got time to herself, she'd stay home with you and drink.

You didn't mind, to be honest. She wasn't a "bad" drunk. She was quiet most times and when she wasn't quiet, she'd rant on and on about how much she loves you. She'd tell you how beautiful you look, no matter if you look decent or not. She loves you in your every being.

There were times when you would get upset about her drinking while she was drinking and she would always talk you down. Not in a bad way, Shuri doesn't like yelling to resolve an argument or a disagreement. It doesn't solve anything to raise your voice, it only makes you and the situation more hostile. Shuri would wait for you to stop talking and then politely ask if you could lower your tone. She doesn't do it to guilt trip or make you feel guilty or anything, she just can't stand yelling. And if you do actually lower your tone and calm yourself down, the two of you talk reasonably for hours. You tell her what happened, why you're mad, and how the situation escalated to the point where you had to raise your voice.

Even if you can't calm down, you tell her that you need a minute and you go to your room. Even when she's not sober, Shuri knows to give you your space when you ask for it. No matter how long it takes for you to unwind, you always end up going to Shuri and having the same conversation about why you're mad and so on.

Shuri, on the other hand, is calm when she's drunk. She doesn't get emotional when she's under the influence since she's drinking to forget her thoughts.

You've asked Shuri to drink a little bit less since you don't want her to get alcohol poisoning or something worse, and she slowly does. She goes from having a few drinks every time she has time off to distracting herself with whatever she can to take her mind off drinking. It was a little hard at first, not picking up the liquor bottle whenever Shuri saw it out and that's when she realized she had an issue. An addiction.

It took some years but with you by her side, she stopped drinking completely. It didn't matter to Shuri that she was calm when she drank, it was the fact that she couldn't go a single minute without having a drink. It was the fact that she had started bringing flasks with liquor in them while she was in the lab. 

Slowly, Shuri started to break her relationship with alcohol. She drank a lot of water or juice anytime she felt like she needed a drink and it worked for a while until it didn't. Then she tried exercising more, but that was beginning to get unhealthy. She tried eating to distract her, but that became unhealthy too. It wasn't until she started talking to you and journaling that she found a healthy way to cope with not drinking. Talking to you about any and everything that was on her find kept her busy, and when you weren't around when she was by herself, she wrote down her thoughts instead.

It's been two years since Shuri's last drink. You've never been so proud of her in your life. You're glad that she came to you when she did when she told you that she had an addiction and needed help beating it.

"I love you, Shuri," You say, kissing her on the forehead.

She leans into your touch, smiling. "I love you, too, baby. Thank you for being there for me."

[suffarustuffaru]

actually here’s an interesting question that’s been in my head for a hot minute now: what do you think a crusch if/other faction if would look like?

one of my favorite characters has always been crusch (probably my favorite aside from julius?), and interestingly it was the moment after the battle of the white whale that sold her for me- her convo with subaru was so genuine and full of respect and it since then has stood out amongst my favorites since it’s one of the first times subaru outside of the emilia camp was recognized for his decisions ^_^

it also piqued my interest because there’s definitely implications/said somewhere that if subaru met crusch first he’d choose her, which makes me think about how that dynamic would play out, ya know? like we haven’t really gotten a huge expansion on crusch herself as we have with anastasia/pricilla and soon felt

also a crusch: if would toootally have different relationships defining wilhelm & felix too and basically everyone else lol

love ur analyses keep up da good work fam!!!!!!!

YO its cool seeing a crusch fan around :DD !! also thank you very much for liking my analysis posts pfft. also whew….. ive been writing my answer for this ask on and off for a while hah its super long oops wkdndnsn

but ok its super interesting to hear what drew you to crusch in the first place - crusch is a character im definitely interested in (i would LOVE to see her finally expanded upon!!) and shes such a respectable person for sure <3 and you definitely have a point that its one of the first time subaru outside of the emilia camp was recognized!! though i didnt know that there were implications that if subaru met crusch first he'd choose her - i suppose that makes sense in that subaru really respects and likes crusch, and hes such a moldable character - for lack of a better term - bc its sooo easy for him to go in all sorts of different directions. a crusch if is an interesting possibility and im sure it absolutely wouldve happened in some form in some other universe :O !!

alright. as for a crusch if - yeah youre right, thered be such a different dynamic between subaru, the crusch camp, and everyone around them. :o im not Entirely sure how a crusch if would go but i certainly have ideas!!! though im not sure if im entirely an expert on them given i still havent finished the wilhelm-centric ex novels or read many crusch camp stories, but i did read ex 1 and 4 and enjoyed them quite a lot <3 along with you know, the main route. but i do really like the crusch camp and i hope theyre expanded upon eventually.

gonna put More thoughts under the cut (note that i have a Lot of opinions on the crusch camp hah):

ok first of all. i think that the crusch camp Does have a little wasted potential in canon and i think that crusch if is the perfect opportunity to explore Everything with crusch camp. just in the sense that you know, crusch hasnt been expanded upon just yet. not that felt has been expanded upon much either but at least we get a lot of details about her and her whole backstory with being a member of the royal family + her relationship with rom opens itself up to a lot of possibilities (theres a lot of History going around in the felt camp regarding felt, reinhard, carol and grimm, rom, etc being in the same camp given their family connections, demihuman war history, etc).

and not that we Dont get details about crusch of course, but i feel that even in her Own centric content, shes a little overshadowed by Everyone else sometimes. like i WANT to focus more on crusch as a person!! she gets cool moments yeah, but as much as i enjoyed reading ex1 im forever gonna be salty that her plot in ex1 was like about people having problems with her gender expression (ill go into this again later bc i know its connected to that plot point of crusch as a noble leader vs crusch as. a woman.) for more than half the runtime and everyone around her was discussing about what to do with her. and then in main route shes put through the RINGER between being cut down by gluttony, having her memories erased, and the dragon blood in arc 5 - and yet it STILL feels like the story doesnt focus enough on HER own pain. how is SHE feeling about this????? shes getting her shit rocked left and right and her sense of identity is being shaken along with it (see: her becoming more shy and withdrawn after her memories are gone) and yet i feel like we STILL dont hear about her Directly enough T^T

and also i Dont like that in the main route, the crusch camps connections to the royal family (with wilhelm being assigned to aid the royal family and bc of that heinkel was assigned to the white whale and so theresia went in heinkels stead + ferris and crusch's relationships with fourier) ARENT that explored. esp when like felt comes into play publically in arc 3 and the crusch camp BARELY REACTS. YOU THINK THEY WOULD REACT MORE TO FELT BEING HERE AND REINHARD SPONSORING FELT. its especially kind of painful after you read ex1 and its like ?? so why didnt they react more to felt being there??? related to + looking exactly like crusch and ferris's dead boyfriend, nonetheless, esp when their goal is to kill the dragon bc the royal family all died as far as they knew and NOW theres someone in the royal family that actually lived???? whos a rival for the throne now??? also i feel like the potential of like. ferris and wilhelms dynamic isnt explored either. like i have to wonder how they seem like theyre on decent/good terms in canon when ferris is friends with reinhard, wilhelms role in the demihuman war, and also wilhelm fucking up his family (with ferris being Aware of a lot of reinhards family situation, of course). and also of course wilhelm has Things going on with rom and carol and grimm bc demihuman war... ex novel things...

so like i think that inherently the crusch and felt camps ARE kind of sort of intertwined in this way bc of ALL these reasons. so i think if youre exploring crusch camp content all of this SHOULD be acknowledged. or maybe thats the felt camp fan in me talking but i DO GENUINELY THINK THE CRUSCH AND FELT CAMPS ARE CONNECTED A LOT ☝️☝️☝️

and so ok back to crusch if things!!!! i have no idea how the Exact plot goes but like i think this is all very dependent on how the crusch if divergence even starts. which Makes sense but yeah :o i mean i feel like i can only see it happening right from the get go in arc 1. and also this goes with what you said - if subaru met them first he'd probs choose to join them. but tbh i also kinda sort of like the possibility that maybe at least Some of arc 1 still happened in another font so subaru can be like "yeah lol this blond girl with red eyes was there along with this giant dude and t -" and crusch and ferris are thinking "OK IT COULD BE ANY RANDOM GIRL WITH BLOND HAIR AND RED EYES THATS NOT A COMPLETE GUARANTEE ITS SOMEONE FROM THE ROYAL FAMILY RIGHT??" and also wilhelms gonna vaguely go "hey whats this giants name again....." anyway yeah gotta plant those seeds for future plot things???? yes. also its a good segue into subaru learning more crusch camp related history yes. maybe that (subarus arc 1 info) is what allows him to join crusch camp too????? yeah im having trouble brainstorming ideas on how he even joins the camp but im guessing its a “subaru accidentally stumbles across stuff and crusch camp is like well i guess we just Kinda have to let you in……. like taking pity on a stray kitten…… maybe youll be useful… and also we do pity you a bit yeah you seem very lost” thing. 👍👍👍

(or alternatively you could have subaru branch off into crusch camp at arc 3 or smth given hes like actually physically at their place and away from emilia camp now but at the same time i doubt that could even happen given the position he was in arc 3???? like post-royal selection drama?? yeah i dont really see it happening imo HAH)

anyway. yeah so its like. inevitably subaru is gonna figure out you know the history behind all of the others in the crusch camp. like whether thats by doing his own research - especially bc you know wilhelm, crusch, ferris are all very well known by this point and have all kinds of rumors and info on them flying around - and also like. by getting closer with everyone. i think that if subaru joined crusch camp early, either he knows hes got rbd bc of arc 1 and manages to avoid it for a while, is my guess, given crusch camp doesnt get involved in life threatening things until. the white whale.

but until then i think subarus probably not gonna die. and i think hes probs gonna be in Fear of that happening again, maybe he blocks out a bit of arc 1 some more bc ahhaah i havent died or anything in so long so surely that never happened. maybe he tries to tell crusch once he gets closer with her or maybe he doesnt try at all bc hahaha did that even happen???? or maybe he asks her about her dp and if its Only about truths from that persons pov rather than Fact and shes like "yeah no its personal truths only, so even if someone is completely wrong about a fact but Believes it wholeheartedly its still gonna register as the truth" and hes like FUCK ok. smth like that?? yes. gotta give him inner turmoil even when hes not actively in danger. bc he Would have that yes. but either way i think he’d be curious and wanna know the specifics of her dp anyway!!!

yeah so anyway the white whale happens and subarus whole shit gets wrecked oops.... and my guess is that you know hes gonna loop a whole shit ton of times and its gonna be complete and utter hell for him. but also this is kind of a little bit dependent on how exactly the royal selection goes for him - but i HIGHLY doubt itd go the same as canon. i doubt he’d even make a scene, tbh—i mean assuming subaru joins crusch camp very early somehow, between crusch and ferris and wilhelm the three of them are gonna Really whip him into shape. metaphorically beat his s1 flaws out of him. bc like—i mean in canon subaru Did learn and grow yes, but he didnt Have to learn everything so harshly (ok but canon subaru Did have to get beat in the duel though or he wouldve died skcbsnd but i still think that subaru can still learn the same lessons more Gently whenever possible. hes a normal teenage boy trying his best!!). i think crusch camp would be good for him in this way, i mean crusch is a very duty-focused person and ferris and wilhelm are blunt people. ferris especially is not gonna take any bullshit wkdndnd (ESPECIALLY when subaru could humiliate crusch and the entire camp) and wilhelm sees himself in subaru and is gonna go “ah…….. you should. not act like that. let me train you.” and ALSO im a firm believer and enjoyer in the reinhard-ferris-julius friendship and i think that reinhard ESPECIALLY must have communicated with crusch camp about felt before arc 3, otherwise crusch camp wouldve had a stronger reaction to felts grand entrance into the royal selection. also if subarus getting closer to crusch camp then of course he figures out stuff like the reinhard-ferris-julius friendship.

again not entirely sure about specific plot beats but depending on how things go emilia camp may or may not get royally fucked (as an emilia camp enjoyer im very saddened by this 😔) but i DO feel like subaru would still be sympathetic towards them in a crusch if. and also theres Definitely gonna be at least one loop during arc 3 where the white whale Does erase crusch and wilhelm and ferris goes insane (like how they end up in pride if. yeah.) so subaru gets to see the consequences if they lose to the white whale. but i DO think that the final loop should still have the consequences of crusch being targeted by gluttony and losing her memories. its interesting to explore!!! especially if subaru himself still becomes a victim of gluttony in some way—maybe they both become victims of gluttony there?? or it happens to subaru later?? and i feel like arc 5 is Definitely another opportunity for some crazy looping. for sure.

also roswaal may want to try some shit bc Why is subaru in another camp this is not according to plan. so more opportunities to torture subaru 👍👍👍 and also crusch camp in canon keeps taking one L after another so you know. familiar territory in terms of how subaru and co are doing 😭😭😭😭

but anyway. i think a crusch camp and felt camp alliance (or Almost alliance?) is in order bc. well we know subaru he tries to fix things. hes nosy. he learns eventually All the crusch camp history and is like ok so why arent we allies with felt camp at least for rn??? like urging wilhelm to make it up with reinhard and such, etc etc. and crusch and felt are the candidates that are both Very deeply unsatisfied with the current system of lugunica and want to remake everything to be better!! and also like. how does ferris even feel about wilhelm. i lowkey want crusch if to have a plot beat where ferris-crusch-subaru metaphorically beat up wilhelm for being Terrible. actually scratch lowkey i want highkey. and i think crusch is just like yeah sorry i do respect you in a lot of ways wilhelm and youre a very key member in our camp and i appreciate it but also fighting against demihumans in the demihuman war + being awful to your family was definitely. 😬 ESPECIALLY since she grew up with ferris too okay. she and her dad literally took in ferris after being stuck in a basement for the first nine years of his life. and while ferris and reinhards family situations are Very Different, the common thread is generational trauma and Passed Down abilities/traits that also relate to the trauma so. i feel like ferris at Least has some secret strong feelings about wilhelm ok i dont care what tappei has to say on this (actually i do care but i will care less if tappei has a bad take on this bc ferris and reinhard are FRIENDS + WILHELM WAS WRONG FOR THE DEMIHUMAN WAR ok ferris was horribly abused also bc of fantasy racism).

and alright ok im gonna talk about some more crusch-ferris-subaru dynamics bc subaru and wilhelm are most likely gonna fall into their weird grandson-grandfather dynamic again. especially now that subarus in crusch camp.

so—gender expression. the way crusch-ferris-subaru dress and their relationships with this part of their identities. personally i hc all three of them as nonbinary but of course u can have different hcs/opinions than me :o either way though, gender expression is Very important to all three of them and its given focus in the plot multiple times so im gonna try to examine how its handled in canon a bit!! theres this one bit from the arc 5 wn that i think about a lot:

so you know, subaru has his internalized issues, toxic masculinity for one, so hes struggling with like. being a man but also like he genuinely enjoys crossdressing but also hes been judged for it in the past and he has?? complicated feelings on it. hes struggling with his identity and who he is in many many different ways and gender is one key aspect of it. and then he comes along and crusch and ferris BASICALLY challenge him and his internalized ideas on it—crusch being a woman who dresses more masculine and ferris being a man who dresses more feminine. they challenge even the fantasy world’s society too—crusch more so, bc shes a woman and in the public eye due to her family and shes expected to dress and behave the way a noblewoman should. more feminine. but she refuses which is a point of contention in ex1 of course…

ferris seems to get less scrutiny from the public on this (at least for This exact reason, we only see subaru iirc judge him for it on screen) but my guess is bc he 1. can easily pass as a girl and 2. he has other more Noticeable traits to the public (having the Blue title and being demihuman for example). but also theres another aspect to ferris and its that he also dresses femininely to represent “the feminine side crusch lacks” iirc…. which. to be quite frank thats. that feels a little odd to me but anyway im gonna choose to look into it a bit regardless bc i think it could potentially be interesting maybe?? but also the fourier-crusch duel in ex1 already felt off to me wkfndnd it was such a fun scene but like??? why are we policing what crusch wants to wear??? but. anyway.

so about ferris being “the feminine side crusch lacks”……. ferris and crusch's gender expression are completely opposite, ferris being feminine of course and crusch being masculine. ferris and crusch are very much like each others equal halves in canon - you dont find one without the other, theyre basically a pair (especially given they fit together into this perfect trio with fourier and now fouriers gone :(( ). ferris and crusch balance each other out in a lot of ways, especially given ferris's mischevious yet perceptive personality and crusch being more serious but a bit airheaded with emotional matters. and also both of them being more blunt honest people. so like their gender expression balances each other out bc theyre opposites. ferris wants to keep balancing out crusch, whos so focused on duty that her needs and her desires and emotions sometimes go by the wayside (id personally attribute at least a tiny bit of her airheadedness with emotions to this too - when you have so much responsibilities to attend to, your emotions often take a backseat. especially when you take into account people judging crusch for how she expresses herself....).

but also ferris does note that "because crusch-sama said this suits ferris, what i am, i am, and this most suits the radiance of ferris' soul. crusch-samas words, ferris will repay with everything that i am". im gonna interpret this as crusch recognizing that ferris truly likes to express his appearance in a feminine way and providing ferris with the means and support to do so, especially since crusch herself growing up also prefers to express herself as opposite to her biological sex and also bc crusch and her family took in ferris so they grew up together. which i think is very sweet <3

and also more regarding crusch, in canon she expresses herself more femininely after getting her memories wiped by gluttony........... i think there might (emphasis on Might) be vaguely a kind of "feminine=weak and masculine=strong thats why crusch goes back to being feminine after memories gone" undertone if you choose to see it that way but im Electing to ignore it. i think crusch's change in expression post-gluttony though like emphasizes how her identity gets shaken after her memories are erased. she was a confident person before and now shes more timid and withdrawn bc she isnt sure of herself or her abilities anymore :(( which is definitely smth that should be explored in Any crusch camp centric content, i think.

anyway. yeah also i def think the ferris-crusch-subaru gender things should be explored. its already briefly touched on in canon with stuff like that arc 5 wn snippet i shared, but i do think subaru being friends with ferris and crusch will help him with confidence regarding how he likes to express himself as well. which i think would be very sweet to explore <3 (sorry this briefly derailed into a ferris-crusch-subaru gender expression analysis but this part of their characters is important i feel aljdlfjsldfj and its SUCH good parallel between them)

as for general dynamics stuff between the three of them. i think ferris is on the fence about subaru at first and goes from "hes an idiot..." to "hes an idiot <3" i have no specific thoughts on this at the moment thats just the vibe thats probably happening. maybe a bit of the same with crusch but yes im sure crusch and ferris of course grow to respect subaru, and im sure they notice pretty quick that subaru wears his emotions on his sleeve. hes an honest person in almost all things, or at least he tries to be, unless hes being held at gunpoint to keep things secret bc rbd lajdlfjl. and we Know subaru is a very respectable person whos Really good at heart, he just had all these hurdles to get through. and also - subaru is a tiny bit similar to fourier in terms of like Loud, Passionate, Determined, kind of an idiot in a few ways but a Lovable one, that sort of thing. of course ferris and crusch are VERY MUCH not going to be replacing fourier. absolutely not they would never in a million years. but fourier like Really fit in with ferris and crusch bc of the three of them having different personality traits, so i think subaru would fit well with ferris and crusch for similar reasons. if that makes sense. the energies just match up. ferris and subaru particularly bring a lot of fun and lightheartedness and ease weight on crusch’s shoulders, crusch supports them both, and all three of them reel each other in in different ways <3

ok also regarding any romance............ personally i dont see the appeal of crusch x subaru but thats just me lajsdlfjls and also my heart got stolen by fourier x ferris x crusch oops. plus i do enjoy the ferris and subaru + subaru and crusch friendship possibilities. but if anyones reading this and is a fan of crusch x subaru feel free to send me propaganda for it bc im very curious as to what makes you really like the ship <3

yeah so anyway. this has been my extremely long explanation as to how crusch if could maybe go and also all sorts of stuff id love to see explored when it comes to crusch if or crusch camp centered content in general <3 its hard to tell how a crusch if would go further down the line bc you know, the more that changes from main route the more things go Different, but i think its fascinating to think about. hope this kind of answered your question op? :O :D !!

ok but as for other camps. i have absolutely no clue how itd go but ana camp would Definitely have to involve subaru trying to invent things that carry on from earth and such and felt camp Absolutely involves more trying to solve more astrea drama. no specific thoughts on this yet (ALSO I STILL HAVENT CAUGHT UP ON ANA CAMP SIDE STORIES... ONE DAY. I SWEAR.) but you know, lots of interesting possibilities here!! :O

[blookmallow]

my feelings about fo4 romances thus far

ive done all of them except piper and danse i think. i have both planned but haven't achieved them yet. i know one major thing about danse's development but have no idea what happens after the discovery of the thing comes out and have even less idea why so many people are into him so I'm hoping I will Learn

currently i feel like im just being followed around by a domineering buzz lightyear. he's... nice enough if you do things he likes...? he's supportive. but I have yet to get any personality out of him other than "soldier" and I'm guessing that's probably the point, so maybe there's a side of him I haven't seen yet. i really want him to get the hell out of the power armor though it is so unnerving having him stomping after me in the middle of diamond city. like. boy calm down for one minute we are going shopping. if he stays in the fucking power armor for his "waking up beside you" animation i am going to actually lose it

anyway i dont have a problem with piper (except i hate that she calls you "blue" i really feel like most of my SS's would be offended by that. you're nicknaming me after the vault i was lied to and controlled in. where i was frozen against my will and forced to watch my spouse die in front of me and my son be taken away. it's not cute! ) i just hadn't gotten around to her bc i hadn't figured out a character to make sense with her yet/it didn't feel natural but i think im gonna double her with my preston file. i have like 6 ocs going here dont ask (ive got uhh. my main is curie + hancock, then i have one for maccready, another one with hancock, one with preston + eventually piper, one with cait + gage, one intended for danse)

ive romanced hancock twice and had to talk myself out of doing it again on a third file. this man is my weakness. i would do anything for him. his romance lines are so sweet he makes me cry. perfect. no notes. the way he's threatening and dangerous but only when someone deserves it, and so soft and loving to you? rough and a lil bit fucked up, a lil bit nasty, but so calm and comforting and supportive to you? kills me. destroys me. my comfort character is a fucked up chem addicted radioactive ghoul who wears a 500 year old coat every single day of his life and might've lost a toe somewhere

@ bethesda give me nick valentine

cait's honestly feels so weird to me. it's like her personality just totally changes. she goes from being rough and sarcastic to "anything for you my treasure :) my heart is yours my beloved :)" and it doesn't feel like character development so much as just like. character flattening. it was actively putting me off spending time with her anymore. its like its not her. do you get me. does anyone feel this. i havent seen anyone talking about cait that much honestly so i have no idea

@ bethesda give me nick valentine

curie was my first love and i still cannot believe they gave us a miss nanny robot wife. i wish she was more android after the change though. i know human-passing synths are totally indistinguishable but i want her to be weirder. i want curie with glowing eyes. i want to see circuits on her arms instead of veins. anyway she is so so sweet and such a unique character i love her but also i do not understand her bc i was looking at her likes/dislikes and she apparently likes the brotherhood and doesn't like the railroad which does Not Make Sense To Me At All. girl you're a synth

@ bethesda give me nick valentine

i never really got why people are so into porter gage until i went through his romance and he's still not really my type but like, i get it now. the "man don't make me talk about feelings and shyit. we're... we're great! you know THAT. :/ " is so cute. i wish there was a redemption arc/reformed raider option for him because i feel like he had potential for growth that he just wasn't allowed to realize. underdeveloped but he is a DLC character so i guess that's how it goes

@ bethesda give me nick valentine

maccready is also kinda dangerously close to "personality changed completely when romanced" but it feels at least less jarring than cait's. maccready reads to me as a person who is actually quite sentimental and sweet but has become jaded/has to act tough to fit in/to protect himself and he's taking his walls down for you. he's another one that still isn't really my type but i Get It Now. his little toy soldier thing still gets me every time. speaking my exact love language of "here is a little thing that is important to me and i want you to have it and think of me." i respect maccready enjoyers

@ bethesda give me nick valentine

i haven't spent a lot of time on the file i romanced preston on but i was fully not prepared for the fact that he calls you "babe" once you're dating. it's so cute. preston is so cute. i don't have a lot else to say other than he is So Cute and deserves more attention than he gets.

@ bethesda give me nick valentine

[nrc-confessions]

Okay here’s the whole story I apologize greatly for how long this is

So today I was cooking lunch for myself at Scarabia, (I sometimes have to cook for myself if the cafeteria doesn’t have any of my safe foods that day) and I heard someone enter the kitchen. The dorm was mostly empty so I expected it to just be some other Scarabia student I’ve never met or smth

Lo and behold, it wasn’t, it was Kalim

Me and him share a class idk if I’ve said that (new spider anon lore 🤯) and he’d gotten injured during P.E this morning so I figured he was at the dorm as well, but I assumed he’d be in his room. It wasn’t anything bad he just fell off his broom and got kinda bruised up but Jamil was still flipping his shit

ANYWAY I finished cooking and ended up sharing some food w Kalim (side note he’s eaten my food before and I’m always rlly touched abt it bcuz Ik he struggles w eating food that Jamil didn’t cook and just knowing he trusts me that much is hnnnnnng) and once we finished eating he asked if I wanted to go carpet flying

I knew he was exempt from class bcuz he got hurt but I still very much had to go to class around this time, but I was not about to miss this opportunity so alchemy be damned

We’ve gone carpet flying once or twice before but from what I understand Kalim takes rlly anyone he feels like carpet flying (including paw anon fuck you calliope I havent forgiven you) so I didn’t think too much of it but at this point I was already gay panicking so this didn’t help

Anyway we get on the carpet n all that and I was kinda starting to zone out of a few reasons, the main being i have a slight fear of heights and I was kinda exhausted cuz I’ve had a tough past couple weeks but I was also zoning out bcuz I tend to do that while in close proximity to kalim

So I went kinda quiet and just hoped he’d keep talking and wouldn’t notice (also bcuz I love listening to him ramble) but he went quiet after a second too and then asked if I was okay, and I quickly said I was fine and went back to being silent but he didn’t keep talking so it was kinda awkward for a second THEN HE FUCKIN “are you sure you’re okay, habibi?” And I almost fell off the carpet

I made a comment abt how I was just rlly tired and ended up kinda rambling then I rambled a bit too far and said like ‘and you know how I get around you’ but I laughed it off and hoped he didn’t notice but he DID and HE TOOK IT THE WEONF WAY cuz he assumed that meant I didn’t like being around him??? And so I tried to elaborate without outing myself which was rlly hard and I think he caught on but he didn’t say anything so I just kept talking and digging myself a deeper hole but then (this is where I get really pathetic) I looked at him and he just had the most gentle patient expression on his face and I just started sobbing bcuz no one’s ever looked at me like that and i can’t properly process my emotions NORMALLY much less when it’s him then he kinda panicked a little bit but then he hugged me out of nowhere and I was NOT okay but I also kinda needed it so I just kinda sat there and cried into his shoulder for a few minutes and he was like whispering things some of it was in English some of it was in Arabic and I don’t know if it was making me cry harder or helping but he was like running his fingers through my hair and I just couldn’t take it anymore and I completely lost grasp of my emotions and ended up saying I love you without even realizing it then as soon as I realized it I panicked and let go of the hug and apologized but he just put his hands on my face and looked at me with his pretty fucking eyes and said it was okay and I lost all ability to breathe

Anyway he kinda like came closer and I was expecting him to hug me again but then he like moved his hand to my shoulder and used the other one to move my hair out of my face and I just completely lost it everything I did from here on is a blurry haze I was fueled by exhaustion and Gay panic but I lunged forward and kissed him AND HE KISSED BACK AND PUT HIS HANDS IN MY HAIR AND I STARTED CRYING AGAIN but then he brought thr carpet back down and I ran off to class and I’m currently typing this while half listening to Crewel yell at me but uh that happened

-🕷️

Thank you for your confession!

[swagginmun]

Nezha is worshipped in china and across most Asian cultures depicted as a child. and while lmk did age him up, it’s disrespectful to sexualize a being who’s main divine aspect is the fact that they are a child. many people disapprove of his age up and find any sort of sexualization offensive to their culture and the image of the god they worship even if he’s depicted as “aged up” in a cartoon. a singular cartoon should not be the reason a child deity is sexualized but sadly with the amount of people using him being aged up as an excuse, it already has. we as consumers of said media have to keep in mind that this isn’t just any old cartoon, these are depictions of gods that are still worshipped today, we must maintain that level of respect for the culture that created them. I know if I worshipped Nezha and went online to see someone calling an aged up version of him hot I’d definitely feel weird.

I remember asking this q on my side twt acc about a different character, but would that also mean engaging with Sun Wukong in that manner creates the same dissonance since he is still celebrated as a god? Or any other celestials that come up in the show for that matter? (Which I have long since crossed this road and havent gotten a complaint till now, so I'm going to assume that it's not an issue of sacredness.) Obviously, the bigger concern is in regards to the child portion, so outside of that above question, I do understand your uncomfortableness as someone who has a more extended understanding of Nezha outside of the show. But my main experience is with the Lego rendition, which also had...cultural counselors? I don't remember the technical term but, essentially folks whose job it was to make sure the team was respectful of the show's design and even comp layout if I remember correctly. If that was as big a point of contention as you are saying ( only discussing the age thing here and not the sexualizing ), I really would think the people in charge of making sure things are up to snuff would have changed him.

Ultimately, I don't get anything out of Nezha in this concerned issue since I always considered him to be badass more than anything else; there have been others in my inbox giving me different info so I'll go ahead with reading some of the books provided!

[wodenscild]

Aaaaaaa things are getting wild here. For those who dont know next month we are having a referendum in enshrining an Indigenous Voice into the constitution. What this would mean is that there would be required Indigenous Representation in the Australian Parliament, which is MASSIVE! & honestly a real good step towards Reconciliation. I mean, given Aussie Invasion history, how horrid non-Indigenous consulted policies have been (cough cough the Intervention & the Stolen Generations to name a few), & the significance of acknowledging Country & the Elders- i wouldve assumed that were wouldve been no crazy backlash to this at all!

But nope- i was wrong =_= i’ll be honest i havent seen any backcry against the referendum until these past few weeks, except when the entire thing was even announced. Back then the main talking point for voting no was because it would give unequal racially biased representation… which is… straight up stupid? Firstly, the Voice would not be able to make & vote on laws, but rather only be able to suggest them. Saying it is racially biased is also just- stupid? Aboriginals & Torres Strait Islanders currently have nigh on none government representation. This is mainly due to the facts of non-Indigenous Australians vastly outnumbering Indigenous Australians & so their voices are heard above Indigenous ones, racism & social factors that generally stop Indigenous people from running in larger areas like along urban East Coast, & also a matter of culture & Reconciliation? Which is like- IMPORTANT!! Indigenous cultures all around the country, from Noongar Boodjar to Badu & Moa Islands, see the importance of having their Voices heard in the management of their Country, & those who live on it. Just as it was before Invasion.

Over the past few weeks things have just gotten mad tho. It started off with seeing a spray painted “Vote No” on a chair at a bus stop, which is… why? Why would you do that? It was weird. What really opened my eyes but to how fervently against this change people were was a demonstration i walked passed the other day while in the city. There were Eureka Stockade flags (which is the closest thing we sorta have to a Confederate flag), & upside down Red Australian flags being flown at each corner of the square of the plaza. It wss PACKED with people holding signs saying vote no. & the speaker- a European Australian who was yelling about how we shouldnt make this change & how itll divide the nation & how if we dont understand it that we gotta vote no- & the way she was speaking was like as tho she was an Elder telling histories of colonialism at an Invasion Day rally. The power & almost fear in her voice- & the amount of people there & cheering her on, it was honestly horrifying. Flying those flags, using ignorance to justify voting no as one would assume an excuse that wouldnt label them as racists, & all with such a passion i have only seen within protests & demonstrations IN FAVOUR of Indigenous rights. It was just- BOGGLING

Idk man its baffling. Any Aussies reading this, i know we are all required to vote & all, but when we get down to the polls, Vote Yes. & Vote with in mind yhe hope of further Reconciliation & with the hope that people like the ones at that protest will not win & will not keep a Voice away from those who not only need it, but deserve it.

[rigelmejo]

So I haven't posted in a while. Little updates:

I finished arc 1 of Guardian in chinese again. So now I wont feel bad reading the book 1 english translation.

I took a break from chinese for a while then came back to read. And its interesting to me how much is stored like "2nd level down" in my memory. I don't recall words when trying to talk, after a long enough break. But I start reading, and my brain subvocalizes the hanzi and I can recall this Gist General Meaning of the words. Some words I recall their meaning and all, some just an overall general idea. But I havent forgotten much, nothing totally forgotten, and then most of the details of words come back within an hour or reading. Its surprising to me that reading chinese, memory wise, seems a LOT like reading french. I didnt expect it to be quite as similar a process. But it seems that remembering hanzi Words is as permanent as remembering french word stems/endings (or english ones). Reading skills have long staying power, and don't degrade much even with long breaks between usage. This is Excellent news. Since I don't have time to study much for the next several months, so I'm glad reading skills will stay as good as they are Or Improve if I read, without needing maintenance study. I'd like to improve my listening skill too, because being able to understand audiobooks would increase the chinese novels I could get through that I want to read (audiobooks would be faster than reading). But I dont have time yet for listening reading combo study, and time will tell if i do that activity WHEN and IF listening skills also gradually solidify then become reliable so one can study more sporadically and still see improvement.

My french skills are. Fascinating. I havent purposely studied in like over 5 years. I dont get that much French exposure (my google is in french but tbh google email and notifications do not use a big variety of words). But I've noticed a dramatic improvement in listening skills. My french reading skills have been fine for years. Theyre at a level where I can read like a high schooler: so i can read fiction for adults, but some words or literary devices go over my head and I have to just guess, the more in depth text analysis of themes might be a challenge, but just getting the story/information/most details is fine. I havent had to limit what i read in french in ages. Its just a matter of in french i feel like i did in high school where some fiction makes me "think hard" to grasp some points, versus english where i dont run into needing to Think Hard like that unless I'm reading something written pre-1800s. Anyway my point is: reading skills have been stable a while in french. Listening skills have markedly improved despite very little purposeful practice. I think I should probably start listening to podcasts or audiobooks some point soon. Through scattered listening to B1 and B2 comprehensible audio on youtube, and french shows, im to a point where if the audio has visual context i can follow everything going on and learn new words pretty easy. So now its just listening to french when i have no visuals to rely on, that's a struggle. I remember a few years back, i could not listen to french shows id just get confused, i needed the subtitles to follow anything. My ears mustve gotten used to french or just gotten used to Listening Better to things. Anyway, if i start trying and French Listening Only materials ill mention some progress.

Anyone have any french audiobooks or podcasts/fiction story podcasts they enjoy???

Japanese. also in a weird place. ToT. My biggest hurdle isnt even japanese: its being too chicken to challenge myself. I can play Yakuza Ishin in japanese and follow the main idea and objectives and main points in scenes. Yet i have NOT played more cause it feels Draining to grasp all that info from context and im lazy. I know if i watch a show in only japanese, with japanese subtitles, i know enough to grasp the main plot. But im lazy and its a LOT of effort to see the japanese subtitles and match new sounding words with kanji and try to remember the new pronunciation AND pay attention to the brand new plot. So i fall back onto english subs. I KNOW i can read japanese novels with a click dictionary, its just such SLOW reading, and if i just read while listening and Guess all unknown words its mentally exhausting even though its faster. I even have the easy peasy Glossika Japanese audio to listen to, but im still on lesson 36 because i have to Pay Full Attention when i listen to new lessons and im too lazy to listen with full attention ToT. I can watch lets plays in japanese, i understand them, but the effort of focusing is so much MORE than it would take if i just went to watch an english lets play where i can just hear in the background and follow it fine not even looking at it.

I am at a POINT in japanese where I CAN just learn by doing now! Which is huge! Its an incredibly useful milestone to be at! And makes future study, in the long run, much less daunting to plan as it can become just Do Stuff In Japanese to study. But since im at the beginning of this Comprehend Enough to Learn More from Context phase... learning new stuff from context still takes SO MUCH EFFORT. ITS SO DRAINING. Paying enough attention to comprehend things ive studied is exhausting, paying extra attention to new stuff and guessing what it means is draining and requires a Lot of focus. I know this is just how this stage goes but. Im so lazy.

What i need is something in japanese im SO interested in, that it drives me to engage with it even though I'm drained because im so Curious and Interested in understanding, so i push through until comprehending gets easier. Ideally, a game or show, something that plays so i am Forced to frequently proceed to the next sentence. Because with books and manga i will just stop and dwell on a paragraph for 2 hours and not learn much new stuff.

This stage is especially grating because im not in the stage with french or chinese anymore. I can listen to chinese shows in the background, check my phone while listening, not use the chinese subtitles, pay half attention while drawing. Chinese audiobooks require More attention, but i can listen to them walking or driving without subtitles/transcript and still follow the plot. With french Im to that same comfortable point with shows and youtube videos, not audio only stuff yet but i dont Engage with french audio only stuff. My point is Japanese is the only one where Im really feeling that INTENSE FOCUS drain whenever i try to engage with challenging new stuff in japanese. I dont feel an intense drain with chinese unless I read one of my harder reading level Print Novels or a higher vocab audio only material. I dont feel it with french unless Im doing it with audio only material. I feel the drain constantly with japanese.

[libelelle]

Hello, I'm sorry for the intrusion (and this might be really weird) but I was browsing the Sonic Underground tag here on Tumblr and I came across your sibling + tails redesigns and in the tags you were asking "please pretty please somebody ask me questions about my tcof!au" and I know that you made that post two years ago and I'm incredibly new here (only followed pretty much today) so I don't even know if you're working on it anymore but this is my personal request to hear all about it because I think the Sonic Underground characters deserve more love than they typically get

AWWWW not an intrusion at all!! i don't really think about that AU all that much any more but i can dump all the ideas i had for it!! I'll put under the read more : ]

ANYWAYS the original concept of the au was literally "Tails is in Underground" and spiralled like crazy from there. it was originally inspired by Starrjoy's Pandora AU (on an indefinite hiatus but worth checking out if you havent already, Joy is a phenomenal artist and a really sweet person : ])

The actual story had the same premise as underground naturally. Robotnik took over Mobius and Aleena sent her children away, under the guidance of a prophecy. years later the triplets reunite and begin their search for their mother and their fight against Robotnik.

Except the search goes on a long time, and Sonia Manic and Sonic get older, on the run, until one day Sonic runs off on his own. he ends up in a town where he tries to blow off some steam by attacking the SWAT bots stationed there, when he finds a small little fox with two tails!! and Sonic is like welp! better take this cute little thing with me, and thats that. he brings tails back to the van and Sonia is mad and Manic is confused and Sonic has gotten them all a new little brother.

from there things continue as usual, looking for their mother, except now Aleena has a loophole in form of Tails. Since he isnt a triplet, she will visit him when hes on his own to check on him and the others. A lot of other things happen, so in bullet points here are some of them

the Debutants ball of course still happens. except its good and Sonia is wearing a better dress

Jules (like. from Archie Sonic) is a character and was Aleenas husband, before being roboticized. he gets rescued at some point by Aleena and Bernadette (also the Archie Sonic character. i dont need to explain myself)

Bernadette is a member of the resistance and later becomes its head of intelligence. she Jules and Aleena have worlds most epic Polyamory relationship

Aleena wasn't given the prophecy in this, she made the prophecy herself in an attempt to give her and her children a way out during Robotniks inevitable takeover of the kingdom. shes spent years adhering to her own rules in hopes her magic would eventually save them. she has clairvoyance among other abilities

Amy is also here, shes one of the children in the Sanctuary, he got really mad when Tail joined the triplets because Sonic has told her on multiple occasions that she couldnt come with them because she was too young. She ends up going out on her own and finding her Piko Piko hammer and becomes a hero in her own right. which she DOES rub in his face later

Knuckles is there, his main role is similar to the show but like. he ends up way more involved. ends up being a bit of a resistance outpost and regularly hosts Aleena on angel island.

Sonia ends up loving Tails (naturally) and in an uphill battle trying to teach him class and mitigate Sonics "good for nothing influence"

Manic loves Tails at first but ends up feeling kind of useless in light of Tails genius. Tails still can't figure out the van though and Manic is so proud of this

because tech is Tails thing, i needed to give Manic a thing, and because his mother can do magic, Manic inherited it. he can do illusion stuff (fits in well with his sleight of hand/pickpocket theif stuff) he's been unconsiously weaving his magic into his inventions for years, hence why Tails can't figure out the van even a little

Oh Uncle Chuck is also here, he works in the resistance and sent Bernadette to help Aleena. He also introduced Jules and Aleena

also worth mentioning that Tails feels really terrible about not being involved in the prophecy. hes doing everything he can to help, but he does really feel like a part of the family, by virtue of being excluded by the prophecy

Anywasy as the plot progresses, the prophecy gets harder and harder to maintain, Sonic gets more reckless and more irritable and so on. Sonic never really likes the prophecy to begin with, and likes to act out against it. hes a firm believer in the direct action route.

Eventually the prophecy fails. Aleena, Sonia and Manic are devasted and Robotnik wins again.

except Sonic isnt ready to let it lie like that. the prophecy never meant anything to him, so the prophecy failing did nothing to break his spirit

HONESTLY i never fully thought out how it ended, all i know id that Sonic had to overcome the prophecy and Tails had to play a very important role in it

Theres likely more in my au tag on my blog, but this is al the stuff i can remember right now. it was a really fun au and if you have any thoughts on it id love to hear them : ]