#but humans have religion to find comfort in a lot of the time

[postsfromthedark]

I can't remember- was Sophie's family religious? did they touch on that at all? like, Christian or jewish or Muslim doesn't matter - were they atheist? ik they were anti-vax, and anti-vaxxers tend to be religious or spiritual (not in a bad way, just tend to correlate).

i'd love for Sophie to talk about it - if she was or wasn't, or at least let her explain what religion is to a species that seems to have no concept of Gods - or death as a normal thing.

[rosesnbooks]

Astrology observations #4

🧡if your moon is in the same sign as someone's rising sign, this is visible at first meeting. you just feel a certain pull when you see them, and they stand out from others in the room

🧡i have noticed that capricorn moons and/or mercuries like dark humor, it's not for the sensitive ones. that's why they also appreciate shows like the office and seinfeld. not to mention their interest for darker shows in general. developed capricorns are funny, but underdeveloped ones hurt people with their mockery

🧡aquarius/11th house and gemini/3rd house placements love personality tests. curiosity and the desire to understand themselves is strong. the former also want to feel more connected to others because they often feel vastly different than the people around them...these tests help them connect. honorable mentions to pisces placements as well

🧡i have yet to meet someone with virgo placements who doesn't appreciate cleanliness and/or organization. funnily enough, not all of them actually follow these values themselves. they are also good with arts and crafts

🧡virgo moons and gemini moons both have issues with silencing their minds at times, but virgos are definitely stricter with themselves. both placements need to talk with their closest people to process their feelings. they just need to let it out somehow or else, they will feel overwhelmed

🧡water signs are connected to water obviously, but there is something about cancer placements and their love for the sea. it's adorable, and they find comfort in it

🧡i think it's true that opposites attract but i think that there needs to be one point where both sides can meet. for example, if you lack earth placements, you probably benefit from having an earth placement in your life but it works best if they share an element that you have. this way, they they can understand where you're coming from.

🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

🧡a person with scorpio mars cannot hide their intensity from everyone. especially when it comes to things/people that they deeply care about or things that fuel their rage. they can have the most sensitive and peaceful chart, but then that scorpio arrives and stirs the waters.

🧡mars in gemini can go through many difficult trials in life and adapt to anything. it's truly admirable

🧡moon in the 12th find comfort in spirtuality and/or religion. however, they need to be careful not to become fanatics and vulnerable to bad intentions from the people in these fields

🧡3rd house stelliums observe people a lot and, over time, learn how to read them very well

🧡i think parents can learn from their children as well and sometimes their chart confirms that. for example, a parent can have their north node in scorpio, and their kid ends up having one or several scorpio placements. it's up to the parent whether they'll learn from them or emphasize the differences between them

🧡jupiter in sagittarius/jupiter in the 9th house find tremendous joy in travelling. once they try it out, the urge to continue travelling is strong. staying put in one place too long is bad for their spirit

🧡i have noticed that those with earth venus (virgo, capricorn, taurus) don't rush into love as others. i think they just want to find the right person first. they're sensitive souls that want someone to trust and rely on

🧡people with north node in leo notice that they feel alive when they pursue different adventures and when they don't dim their light in front of others. they care a lot about the world and humanity, and they need to let others take care of them sometimes too

🧡it's not easy when your jupiter and saturn share the same house. i think it means you need to find balance somehow. for example, someone with jupiter in the 9th house can find happiness and luck in travel, spirituality, and having an optimistic and open-minded mindset. but also, they may fear pursuing these things either because it seems scary or because they experienced some setbacks in the past. moreover someone with jupiter and saturn in the 11th house has had meaningful friendships that brought them lots of luck, as well as some intense friendships that caused them a lot of pain

🧡pisces placements can adore libra placements because they want someone who'll give them a fair chance and some peace in their lives. pisces people are a bit weary of intense placements because they don't feel 100% safe with them, whereas libras are comforting. honorable mentions to taurus as well, since they can make pisces feel like they're at home with them

[moonastro]

PAC reading

first impression of you from your fs

left to right(top)-> 1,2

left to right(bottom)-> 3,4

°DO NOT take this as literal, take everything with a grain of salt as this is purely and intendedly for entertainment purposes.

°don't be afraid to give feedback and opinions about this post(as i would entirely appreciate it).

PILE 1-

-Okay so, first impression from your fs will definitely be raw feeling, perhaps something that they have never felt before.

-Their feelings will literally hypnotise them and make them act up-think of cupid (first thing that came up).

-I see them sticking to you, they can be staring at you and not taking their eyes off of you or it could be that they'll approach you and kind of follow you everywhere. also they can have a desirable intention to be with you or near you.

-They will physically want to leave whatever their doing and want to get to know you- lust kind of thing.

-They'll definitely resist the urge to talk to you at at first because they are afraid to mess things up and for you to get the wrong idea of them. aww😊

-Okay, so, i see them noticing your body first, i feel like maybe your outfit will be very fitting to your body shape or something like that but it will definitely catch your fs attention.

-They'll also notice your hair also. Your hair may be significant, they like it. (May be the first think that they will compliment about you).

-I see this happening somewhere dark- at night possibly.

-Something about the lips also, they'll be fascinated.

PILE 2-

-their first impression of you may be that they will find you hawttt.🔥🔥

-they'll think that you are an individual who knows what they want, when they want it and how they want it done.

-They will love how independent you are- you may meet when you are by yourself with no one.

-they have an opinion that you are a powerful human being. You may appear to have a lot of confidence in their eyes which they will admire very much.

-They will notice how intelligent and smart you are.

-your fs will want to figure you out as they may find you quite mysterious which will make them more attracted to you.

-There is going to be A LOT of passion coming from them.

-They may also feel very comfortable around you. you may remind them of a female figure in their life that they admire very much.

EXTRA- At the end of the reading i heard the lyrics "baby, I'm yourss". Take it as you may!!

PILE 3-

-oh boy there was a lot of cards that came out for you pile 3!!!

-Their first impression of you may be that they find you as a very stressed out human being. they may think that you have a lot of weight on your back.

-they may not particularly have an interest in you straight away and may even find you irritating- this interaction may happen at a stressful time for you.

-they may also think that you have no sense of surrounding so they may think that you are not interested in them.

-yeah, something about mental health here. they may think that you are struggling with mental health.

-i see a language/religion/ethnicity difference.

-This will definitely be a work colleague- you may start out as work friends.

-They may also think you are too insecure and can be shy. (some).

-overtime i see them getting to know you more clearly and then they'll start to develop feeling towards you. they'll start to find you very attractive.

PILE 4-

-if you felt drawn to pile 3, please check it out as you may find some information that resonates.

-I see them observing you from afar-they'll quietly look at you. kind of like a personal admirer.

-first thing that they will think of you is that you are too good for them so they will not have the courage to approach you. therefore, you may actually be the one to approach them.

-they will love your voice, you may be into singing/ are good at singing/like to sing. Even if you don't sing, they will love to hear you talk.

-they notice your eyes. this may resonate when you start talking. they may be good at eye contact so they'll hold eye contact every time they speak to you.

-deep down they may also think that you isolate yourself too much. this may be that you don't go out to nightclubs or don't go out much.

Thats itt!!🌻

i hope you enjoyed this reading.🪻

Don't be afraid to interact with this post and give feedback.🏵️

[temporarywelcome]

Night Shift - Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: You have done everything Spencer wanted for the Halloween season, now it's time for him to do what you want... which you both regret.

WARNINGS: swearing, brief suggestive implications (no smut)

A/N: today is the birthday of my pookie wookie James Patrick March so I won't sleep tonight writing a fic for him so look out for that!

________

“Why the hell are we doing this?”

She grinned in response, eyes on the road as she drove, “You got to choose all the fun Halloween activities, now it’s my turn,”

Spencer sighed, leaning against the window as he looked outside, out into the dark streets of Virginia, “And you have to choose the most childish thing?”

“Actually,” she replied, “I think watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving or whatever it’s called with zero children around is pretty childish,”

“It’s tradition!”

“Boooooring,” Y/N deadpanned, making him roll his eyes, “My ideas are more fun,”

“Two grown adults going to a graveyard in the middle of the night looking for ghosts? Fun? Ghosts don’t exist, Y/N. You know, there’s actually a lot of explanations as to why people think they see ghosts. There are psychological reasons such as pareidolia, and cognitive and confirmation bias. You could even think of the neurological explanations like-”

Y/N zoned out, nodding her head as her boyfriend spoke. She didn’t understand what he was saying half of the time, but she hated how so many people just shut him up. And so she forced herself back to listening to him and his yapping. “You’re so cute,” she said after a while, pinching his cheek, “My favorite yapper,” 

“Don’t interrupt me,” he grumbled, swatting her hand away. He went straight back to his blabbering and she just smiled. She was happy he was comfortable enough with her to call her out. Most people just cut him off and he would let it slide, not wanting to be a bother. But when it came to her… he could get cranky. 

Y/N laughed, pinching his cheek again, “We’re here anyway. C’mon,” 

Rolling his eyes, Spencer followed her out to the back of the car. She opened up the trunk, revealing the overabundance of “supplies” she gathered for this activity: flashlights, night goggles, crosses, even some small vials of holy water?

“You came prepared,” he mused, picking up a cross with a laugh. She knew he wasn’t religious in the slightest, and she herself wasn’t either, until ghosts were involved. 

“Don’t worry, I brought religious symbols from other religions as well,” she said, opening up another duffel bag, “We’re safe,”

“I feel so protected,” he said sarcastically, resting his head on her shoulder as she organized her materials. 

“Shut,” Y/N grunted, snapping the night vision goggles into place, “Oh hell yeah. We’re the real deal,”

“Do I have to put that on?”

“Yes,” she slipped the goggles onto his head, patting his hair, “Look at you. Ghost hunter in the making.”

“I probably look so stupid,”

“Nooooo,” she took out her little digital camera and snapped a photo of them together, “We look like hot, sexy, ghost hunters,”

Spencer gave her a look, “You’re insane,” 

“I love you too, babe,” she handed him a flashlight, for in case the goggles went out. She then handed him a camera, “We’re gonna catch some ghosts,”

“This is so embarrassing,” he groaned, allowing her to take his hand and drag him through the gate and into the cemetery. He was already looking around, on high alert.

“I like the spirit! Get it? Spirit?” Y/N snickered proudly.

“I’m not searching for ghosts, dummy, I’m searching for living humans that might lose their shit when they see us,” Spencer replied, “And that joke was terrible,”

“As if you could do better,” she huffed, turning on her camera and beginning to record. The cemetery was silent except for the rustle of leaves in the wind and their steps on the grass. 

After a few minutes, Spencer was already bored, “I don’t think we’re going to find any ghosts,”

“Shut,” Y/N took a deep breath, “If there are any spirits with us, please make yourselves known,”

“Y/N, you’re talking to yourself,”

“No, I’m not. I’m talking to the spirits,”

“There are no spirits,” 

“There so are,”

Spencer sighed, gazing around the cemetery in boredom, “Did you know that in the Arlington National Cemetery, about thirty funerals are conducted in a single day alone?”

“I did not,” Y/N replied, “Morbid. Fits the mood. However, I don’t even know where that place is,”

“Babe, we’re in it right now,”

“Oh,” 

“We’re in the largest cemetery in the United States,”

“Hell yeah, there’s gotta be ghosts here then,” Y/N grinned, “Turn your camera on,”

Spencer did as told, not bothering to argue with her. He watched as she continued to call for spirits, hands in the air dramatically. “Babe, all the camera is capturing is you being a fool,”

“When we catch a ghost on camera, we’ll see who the fool is,” Y/N looked at the graves, “There’s so many of them…”

“Lot of fallen soldiers,” Spencer agreed.

“...what?”

“Fallen soldiers,” he repeated, “These graves are for fallen soldiers, veterans, prisoners of war-”

“Holy shit, I feel like such an asshole.” 

“Mhm,” 

She glared at him, “Let’s get out of here,” Spencer shrugged, slipping his hand into hers as they began walking back towards the gate. “Can’t believe you let me waltz into a veteran memorial in search of ghosts,”

“I thought you at least knew where the hell you were,”

“No, I just looked up cemetery on Google and followed the GPS toward the nearest one, I didn’t even pay attention to the name,”

“Of course you didn’t,” he suddenly stopped in his tracks, Y/N skidding to a stop next to him.

“What is it- oh,” she saw the hooded figure as it disappeared in the shadows. Hooded figure. Disappearing into the shadows.

Hell no.

“What the hell was that,” Spencer said. It didn’t even sound like a question. “You saw that too, right?”

“Right,” her grip on his hand tightened, “C’mon,” she was ready to fucking go.

“I swear if a security guard catches an FBI agent ghost hunting with his girlfriend, I’m going to throw up,” Spencer said in worry, grip on her hand tightening as well. He continued to nervously look around, expecting a security guard to jump out and arrest them both.

“I’m less worried about security guards, more worried about demons,” Y/N whispered the last word, eyes widened almost comically. 

“How could you be more worried about what doesn’t even exist?”

“Just because you haven’t seen them doesn’t mean they don’t exist!”

“But there is no factual evidence to support their existence,”

They bickered on for a few minutes, until they heard the snap of a twigs. Spencer jumped, arms immediately going around her in fear, “Shit shit shit shit-”

“Shh!” Y/N pulled out a crucifix, waving it around wildly, “I’ll protect you!”

“With a freaking piece of wood?! Y/N, put that down!”  Spencer groaned, now more annoyed than scared. 

“I'm prepared,” she then pulled out some amulet with a hand symbol on it, waving the object around. 

Spencer rolled his eyes, no longer scared, “If ghosts were actually real I'm sure you'd be the reason we would die,”

“At least you're not scared anymore,”

“Because I'm flabbergasted,”

Another twig snapped and she raised the amulet again, “Show yourself, spirit!”

“I'm going to the car,” he deadpanned, until he saw it again. The shadowy figure. He squeaked, on instinct snatching the crucifix from her belt and pointing out, “Shit shit shit shit,”

“They're back is turned,” Y/N realized, “It doesn't see us… what is it doing?”

The dark figure was doing something, but it was too far for them to see. Y/N stepped closer and Spencer immediately gripped her wrist, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Investigating?” She stated the obvious.

“Okay but what if it's one of those demon devils you're so afraid of?”

She paused, biting her lip, “but I wanna know,”

“I swear if this shit was real you'd get us both killed- HOLY SHIT-” as soon as Spencer turned his head from her to the figure, it was right in front of him.

Well, he. An older white man with unsettling blue eyes and thinning salt and pepper hair, smile lines forming on his cheeks, grimace on his lips. 

Spencer and Y/N screamed. 

“You little shits!” The man barked out, “Get the hell out of here before I have you arrested-”

They were gone. They did not need to be told twice.

“I hate you!” Spencer hissed at his girlfriend as they sprinted out of the cemetery.

“We can have angry sex later, babe,” she replied dryly, pissing him off even more, “Missionary, so we could keep arguing,”

Spencer dived into the passenger seat of the car, “You're disgusting NOW DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE!”

“Shit, I'm going I'm going!” She exclaimed in response, starting the engine. She sped off, getting a glance at the pissed off look on his face, “Oh the angry sex is gonna be crazy,”

_____

Later that night, after that crazy fucking angry sex, Y/N let out a tired yawn, turning on the TV. Spencer was passed out next to her, so she kept the volume low as she flicked through the channels. 

She stopped on a random news station, leaning against the headboard and lazily bringing an arm around him as she watched the news story. 

Armed grave robber arrested at Arlington National Cemetery. That was the headline.

“Holy shit!” Y/N exclaimed, causing Spencer to snap up in alarm.

“What?! What happened?!” he said in worry, starting to scramble out of bed.

“Look!” she pointed at the news report, which was showing the mug shot of a familiar grumpy-looking older man.

“The guy from the cemetery…?” Spencer sunk down against the pillows, brows furrowed as he watched the screen, “He wasn’t a security guard?”

“I mean, he wasn’t dressed like one. We were just so panicked we didn’t even think about it.” 

“I suppose,” he started biting his nails in nervousness, “I swear if we get caught…”

“More angry sex?” she proposed. He glared at her. “Or not…”

[laundryandtaxes]

I think it's bizarre to believe that one approach to any problem (especially problems we know to be partly biologically mediated or constituted and partly socially mediated or constituted) is likely to universally fit every single person impacted by that problem. And I think there are many situations that have revealed that plenty of people really do prefer magical thinking and lack of any scientific knowledge if they are able to garner some hope from a perspective that is based entirely or mostly in magical thinking. I don't even think this is necessarily a problem, or at least a solvable one- it's essential, as I see it, to the continued existence of religion in humanity, which even I cannot claim has never done any good for any person or for people as a group. So long as this tendency doesn't win out on a large scale as a meaningful approach to problem solving, I don't exactly think it's a threat to humanity.

One of the most interesting examples to me, largely due to my work background and the prevalence of alcohol abuse within restaurant workers, is how absolutely vitroilic a lot of abstinence-only recovering alcoholics become when they make any contact at all with individuals who are trying to lower but not eliminate their alcohol consumption, especially in a systematic and controlled way. It is not just that they claim it is irresponsible to promote programs other than abstinence-only programs to active alcoholics (and even that I find nonsensical- less alcohol is almost always better than more alcohol, because we know for a fact that a lot of the negative health outcomes from alcoholism are a direct result of too much alcohol itself, regardless of whether it was consumed alone at night or while binge drinking at parties, which tells us that the obviously important social element itself does not mediate the biological damage) but that they often claim that it is universally the case that someone who finds themself problem drinking will only ever become more of a problem drinker until they quit entirely. The reason this is so especially striking to me is that it is so obviously and easily proven untrue by experiences which many people have outside of the bubble provided by abstinence programs. It is simply not the case that every individual who drinks more than they're comfortable with during a certain time period is destined to develop cirrhosis if they don't put down alcohol forever, and most people know several individuals whose alcohol use patterns obviously disprove that theory. Almost everyone who drinks knows someone who drank too much for their own personal comfort at one point and had to reel their consumption back in. But, of course, when most people know that someone is an alcoholic, they limit how often they talk about alcohol or their consumption of it out of respect or a desire not to trigger that person into craving alcohol, and the end result is that many alcoholics find themselves just totally cut themselves off from the alcohol use perspectives and experiences of anyone who isn't currently trying to be totally abstinent or doesn't believe that abstinence is the only way to deal with alcohol abuse. And I suspect this will only become more sparkly apparent as doctors begin to try, for instance, off label use of the GLP-1 agonists along with other medications to try to lower the desire for alcohol in patients, etc, or as more and more slightly science-backed but ultimately still pill mill or subscription peddler programs pop up aimed at helping people lower their alcohol consumption. I'm excited to see new perspectives become mainstream, and I think a lot of the pushback is quite literally an attempt to ostracize new perspectives by presenting them as irresponsible, cruel, dangerous, etc.

[concreteangel92]

Thou Shalt Not Kill - Chapter 5

AU Noah Sebastian x female reader

18+

Summary: Reader is a detective and is assigned to a murder case which she soon connects with previous killings and figures out the religious affiliation, proving there is a new serial killer within the city. Reader soon becomes obsessed with the killers mind and methods and won’t rest until she figures out who the killer is. All while she gets used to working with her new partner on the case, detective Noah Davis.

Warnings: none really in this chapter other then the use of religion

Chapter Index Here

This chapter is slightly a filler but it’s also getting everything ready for the next one which is going to be long! A lot is a bout to happen haha so consider this the calm before the storm! I’m going to try and get chapter 6 out asap!

Tags: @Ima1986 @hayleylatour @reyadawn @thatchickwiththecamera @thefallennightmare @calleyx13 @english-fucker @darling-millicent-aubrey @malerieee @ithoughtbynowidfeelbetter @softvgold @lilhobgobbler @glccmreid @badomensls @madomens @loeytuan98 @iluvmewwwww75 @rosebushjhj @livingdeceasedgirl @lilrubles @samanthasgone @blackveilomens @hellayeahsword @lookwhatitcost @doomhands-jr @nojoyontheburn @poisongirl616 @bakanerd @sacredthefran

MASTERLIST

It had been a week since the last lot of killings.

And you were no closer to catching the killer than you were at the beginning. It was now starting to take its toll on you.

The sleepless nights due to your mind not being able to shut off or the nightmares of the cases that plagued you. You sat up for hours going over every photo, every detail, playing the killers messages again and again.

The messages had started to come here and there, from him, taunting you.

‘Come on detective Y/L/N, you can do better then this’

‘I expected so much better from you my little angel’

‘Only a handful left to go…’

Or your personal favourite….

‘We live in a world filled with lawlessness. In most societies, murder, theft, adultery, deceit and perversity are commonplace. Many, even in religious communities and among human behavioral specialists, scoff at the idea of moral absolutes that apply universally. One man's morality, it is believed, is another man's immorality. What seems unnatural and abnormal to one is considered perfectly normal and natural for another.’

It made your blood boil how he mocked you, how he somehow had your personal number and yet he couldn’t be traced.

The press were having a field day with this, it was front page news and everyone was talking about it. People were too frightened to go out after dark or walk alone because they were terrified that the ‘10 commandments killer’ would find them and use them in his next masterpiece.

“Masterpiece….thats pretty much how he views it….he’s the artist and those people the art….its sick but he’s definitely a perfectionist”

You rested your head into your hands, not ready to face the day but you knew you had no choice.

Noah had been by your side near enough the entire time, helping you go over the case, finding new leads, dealing with people when you didn’t have the energy. Noah had even been round your apartment a few times with food just to make sure you’re eating, all the while saying that ‘if anyone could crack this case then it would be you’

He was definitely becoming a comfort to you, helping take the pressure off. You had learnt a lot about him as well, about how he originally dreamed of being in a band and that he played the guitar, how he detests subway (you learnt that when you suggested it for lunch and it was very quickly shut down) how he’s an animal lover and plays video games in his spare time.

You couldn’t help but want to know more about him and you found his laugh completely infectious. But you knew you couldn’t allow yourself to be distracted by him, it wouldn’t help the case at all.

“Back to it girl….no more day dreaming”

You walked over to your team of officers and they all looked up ready for your instructions, you noticed Noah wasn’t present so assumed he was doing another job so you decided to carry on without him.

“Right, I know it’s been tough and we haven’t had a new lead, however I now believe it’s time to think outside the box.”

“Detective?” One of the officers had a confused look on his face.

“I’ve been thinking that we need to widen our search, who’s to say that the killings started in LA? For all we know, this guy could have moved around, killed before but has never been caught. I know it will take time but I need you all to be cross referencing all the recent and older cold cases from the last year or so, further back if necessary but we need to rule out that he’s not killed before.”

“But that could take weeks!”

You looked over at Eddie Blake, an officer about your age or slightly older, he’d been making it known to you all week that he wasn’t happy with all of your decisions, he’d make a comment here or there or simply contradict you in from of the other officers. It was getting very tiresome.

“Yes officer Blake, that’s why I’m asking now”

He didn’t look happy.

“Well wouldn’t our time be better spent trying to solve this case instead of wasting time looking around other states when you have no reason or lead other than a hunch?”

“You’ll do what I ask you to do, understood?” You couldn’t help but snap at Eddie, his constant attitude was grating on you.

You took in a deep breath and looked up to see your boss, sergeant Matthews standing in the doorway, he nodded his head to your office and you knew you were in for a stern word.

“I’m sorry, look I know this has been hard but I really do think we need to rule out all possibilities. So everyone please get to it, it will be tedious but it could pay off in the long run. As you were”

You walked off to your office where Matthews was waiting.

“I’m sorry sir, I shouldn’t have snapped at officer Blake like that”

“No you shouldn’t however I’m more concerned about you Y/L/N. No offence but you look like shit”

You let out a giggle at his bluntness.

“Thanks”

“I just mean that you look like you need a break, maybe this case is too much for you. I can have you signed off for a bit and let detective Davis take over for a whi…”

“NO!….I mean, no thank you sir, I’m perfectly fine, just need to lay off the coffee I imagine”

Sergeant Matthews gave you a look that clearly said he didn’t believe your words.

“Running yourself into the ground isn’t going to help anyone, certainly not the victims or their families. And a case like this, no one would judge you if it was becoming too much”

You sighed as you looked around the room.

“Sir I don’t deny that I could definitely use some more sleep but I promise, I’m fine to carry on, I need to carry on! I feel we are so close to a proper lead.”

“Alright. I’ll keep you on for now detective Y/L/N but one more incident and I’ll take you off the case”

With that sergeant Matthews left your office, you sat down at your desk and put your head into your hands, tears brimming in your eyes but you refused to let them fall.

Knock, knock

You looked up to see Noah stood there looking concerned.

“Are you ok?”

You nodded “yeah….no, not really. Sergeant Matthews thinks that I might need a break from the case…he wanted to remove me from it”

Noah came and sat next to you.

“Well then he’s stupid, no one would ever have connected half the leads together that you have, you’re the person thats actually found any answers and has the biggest chance of catching the sick fuck who’s doing this?”

You smiled at Noah, he always knew what to say to make you feel better.

“Thanks Noah, I’m sure that…”

“Don’t even try and say that someone else could be as good, because it’s simply not true, you’re the smartest person I’ve ever known…and the most beautiful”

You felt your cheeks go warm at Noah’s compliment, you stared into his brown eyes and smiled slightly.

“And you’re the biggest charmer I’ve ever known”

“It’s a gift”

You giggled and turned away to pick up some files, I need some of these copied, fancy a walk down the hall?”

Noah smiled and stood up “And they say this job isn’t exciting”

You both walked in a comfortable silence out of your office, you had definitely become more comfortable around Noah, you’d be lying if you said you wasn’t attracted to him, he was gorgeous, a blind man could see that, and the odd dream of him was still happening here and there. However you still refused to act on anything, you needed to stay focused.

As you went to turn a corner you suddenly heard Eddie Blake talking to someone.

“All I’m saying is that clearly detective Y/L/N isn’t up for the job, have you seen her recently? She looks like she’s not slept in weeks and isn’t making the right decisions. If I had her position, I’d be doing things so differently, maybe then we’d actually be getting somewhere in this case”

His voice got lower and lower to signify he was walking away with whoever he was talking to, the knot in stomach was very present and the anger was rising in your chest.

“Who the hell does he think he is? I’m going to go talk to him about respecting his superiors”

You grabbed onto Noah’s arm.

“No Noah it’s ok, let him go, he’s just jealous and mouthing off, he’s wanted my job for a while now and clearly doesn’t like how a woman got the position over him”

“Well maybe if he could actually put two brain cells together then he’d get the job”

••••••

Later that evening, after a fairly uneventful day, you found yourself sitting with Noah in your apartment, food long been eaten and you had a drink in your hands, a scene that felt very familiar but this time, you were definitely more relaxed.

“So tell me more about you Noah, what’s something that not many people know about?”

Noah laughed slightly.

“Well I doubt many at the office would know but I’m a pretty big anime fan”

You hadn’t missed that you were both sat close to each other again, this wasn’t unusual for you now, his presence was very comforting.

“Oh really? That your big secret eh?”

You laughed with him and took another slip of your drink.

“Oh I’m sure there are more things, I just can’t think of them at the moment”

“So what’s one of your favourite anime’s then?”

Noah sat back and had a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Got to be death note, it’s a classic and so good!”

You shook your head. “Nope, never heard of it”

Noah rested his arm across the back of the sofa and leaned back more while drinking from his own wine glass.

“Fancy giving it a go? It’s about a high school student who is able to kill anyone in the world with a notebook called the death note which belongs to a shinigami, a god of death. However Light only kills criminals as he believes they truly deserve it, all the while he is being hunted down by L the detective who’s incredibly intelligent. It’s a really good show”

You nodded.

“It does sound interesting, so Light is a bad guy then?”

“Well that’s the grey area, is he truly bad if he’s getting rid of the criminals or is he the hero?”

You shook your head and finished your second glass of wine.

“No one has the right to play god”

“Well how about I put it on and you can decide for yourself”

You smiled and refilled your glass.

“Sure, why not”

Noah found death note and got the first episode up, it certainly peaked your interest and had you making the odd comment here or there.

You felt yourself becoming even more relaxed as you watched the tv, your wine long forgotten about on the table and eventually you didn’t realise it, but you nodded off on Noah’s shoulder, the lack of sleep finally catching up to you.

Chapter 6

[waddleonmywaywardducks]

Practicing with adhd.... (A kinda long commentary on how to work with ADHD in your practice instead of against it)

(disclaimer: I'm making this post as someone who has a struggled with ADHD. In no way am I glorifying mental illness or symptoms of mental illness. This is just something I've dealt with all my life and i know other people have too. I'm just posting my own experience and advice. You do not have to use this at all.)

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was either 7 or 9 and have been struggling with it ever since, idk why I never grew out of it. Over the years of practicing, I've encountered a lot of practitioners with the same problem as me, only all of their advice was to try to get rid of ADHD has much as possible, well I tried that, I'm still the same. But that's just it, ADHD is apart of me, whether I like it or not. For years, I've always hated my ADHD, I constantly feel stupid, childish, and not responsible, but I am, I just need to work with my ADHD instead of around it. And that my friends is what Im going to teach you all here today, so grab a nice comfort TV show and a fidget bc your ADHD ass WILL READ THIS POST!!!!!!!!

My biggest problem with adhd and witchcraft

honest to the Gods, my biggest problem has got to be that witchcraft isnt dogmatic, you aren't going to get a rule book, there is no duality, you pick what's right from wrong, you make your practice your own. I had such a hard time figuring that out because I'm a very hands on learner. I grew up in a Christian household, most historical events that I wanted to research I could read in the Bible, or go to a church, or if I wanted to find community to help me figure out where to go well....it's basically all around me. But we don't have that with witchcraft. We only have ourselves (unless you were born into pagan/witchy family then lucky you I guess 😭😭). So obviously the only thing we can do is research.

"but omg chaos,,, I can't research I have executive dysfunction!"

I understand. Executive dysfunction is so weird why do humans have this??? Why was this built into my system??? Anyways, the best advice I can give you for executive dysfunction is that you can either go one of two ways:

1.) while you are laying in bed, cursing yourself to get up and do something. At least do something, but you just can't. That's ok. Dont beat yourself up about it, honestly the more you do that the more you're not going to want to do it. Allow yourself to be like this, allow yourself to just lay there. If you need to give offerings but you just can't get up, say sorry out loud, I always find that this brings me comfort and that my deities will know I'm truly sorry. Then forget about it, now it's time to allow yourself to just be. And then you wait until you find the strength to do it. That's it. Just be.

2.) you're laying in bed and you really need to give offerings to your deities. Get up. Just do it. Immediately once you have the thought in mind don't even think about it just do it. I know this doesn't work 100% of the time but it does for me. So 🤷

"how do I know if my practice is my own or if it's just a hyper-fixation?"

OK OK. I don't know anyone else who has this struggle but I have. When I started out, I was just a bright eyed kid filled with questions about the "unholy". I really started practicing when I was like 13-15. During these times, I didn't know how strong my hyper-fixation was with Greek mythology and religion until I fell out of that fixation. It was very disappointing to see myself gain so much momentum only to come crashing down. One thing that helped me decipher whether my practice was my own or not was simply asking questions to myself about my own beliefs and upg. If I couldn't answer these questions then I knew I wasn't really practicing I was just researching. Without my own experience, my own UPG, my spells weren't working correctly, and my rituals were failing. If there is no emotion behind it for me then the spell is just a bunch of herbs in a bottle.

"I struggle with grounding and meditation, how can I become better at that?"

Firstly, I need people to realize that I don't believe there is one right way to meditate. For me, starting out, I listened to guided meditations which helped me A LOT. Guided meditations I feel like are really slept on but I got a lot of communication done with my deties through this way, I met one of my guides this way bro. Another way you could do is laying down. As long as you are allowing yourself time to get into the meditative state, and if you can't, oh well, don't beat yourself up about, you can always try again.

"I have trouble remembering herb properties, correspondences, and holidays"

Write. Everything. down. Every spell you've ever created, every experience you have with your deties, every tarot card reading. Write it all down. Cross-research everything until something sticks. Give up the idea that grimoires need to look a certain way or give off a certain vibe. Just start writing shit down. In any book.

How I work with ADHD in my practice

Have you guys ever seen those post, I think they were floating around here around like 2019 or 2020?? They we're like "spells to get rid of ADHD" or "spells to get rid of depression" and shit like that. Yeah, I never understood those. I don't understand why we are treating these illnesses/disabilities like they are monsters?? I hate the ideology that all illnesses are bad, because yeah they impose a great risk to our health, but we can always look on the brighter side of things. My ADHD allows me to feel more deeply, because of this I feel connected to the gods always. My ADHD makes me passionate about my Interests in the gods, my ADHD can work with me.

Some ways I work with ADHD in my practice is by making a schedule and sticking to it but a bigger importance to that is recognizing when I need a break. During days that are dedicated to the gods, or holidays, I often times have a big thing planned that might take up a lot of energy. I allow myself breaks with things that aren't witchcraft related at all, then when I'm ready I pick it back up from where I left off.

I honestly think if you are reading this and you're like "yeah maybe I should start working with my ADHD instead of against it....but none of this stuff is hitting for me."

Then I advice you to look at your own symptoms and try to see if you can find any way you can work with yourself. For example, if one of my symptoms was that I was impulsive, one thing I would do is dedicate something impulsive to one of my gods. Like dying my hair, going out of town for the night, getting drunk on a Tuesday afternoon (keep it stable buddy.), who gives a fuck. You are using your symptoms in a way that works with it instead of against it.

In conclusion....

I've had this post in mind for a while I just never had the words for it until now, and I still don't even know if this makes sense😭😭 I just hope to help atleast someone (it's 3 am and I literally decided to write this like....20 minutes ago.) this post was also me bashing on people who think ADHD is "all bad." Anyways, if anyone has any other advice or suggestions on how to work with ADHD, please leave them in the comments! I would love to get as much advice from adhd practitioners as I can! Alright I'm going to sleep now

[albatris]

rentalcar update!

it's been a hot minute since I did one of these!

today's word count is 75,595...... uh oh! "but it was over 100k a few weeks ago, monday!" yes my process is mysterious and unknowable

today I got a lot of work done due to the being at my friend's house where we just sit around and vibe together. I'm really happy with my progress!

today's mood is a severe lack of sleep and today's jam is "little lies you're told" by joywave

taglist and today's excerpt under the cut! it's jumbly and unedited sowwy

She settled on the couch and immediately sprawled herself out, bringing her legs up onto the cushions and cuddling right up to him, her head nestling down on his shoulder. Nat’s heart pounded in his chest in a rhythm he was certain she could hear. Was she coming onto him? What was this? Why was she so close?

The movie seemed to be about a zombie invasion of a small town in Pennsylvania, but Nat was finding it hard to pay attention. Partially tiredness from his night of work and the emotional stress he was under. Partially his hyper-awareness of Ripley’s presence. The longer the movie wound on, though, and the longer Ripley stayed like that, leaning herself against him all cosy, the more Nat suspected that she was simply just more physically affectionate than he was. What had the care package said about vampires and physical contact? They liked it, right?

Did he like this?

Maybe she would think his pounding heart was just exhilaration from the jump-scares, from watching so many zombie heads get blown off, so many entrails get ripped out. The movie was exceptionally gory. He was—uncomfortable. But he was almost always uncomfortable. He found himself wishing he was home cuddling his cat instead, but he almost always wished he was home instead of out. Even when he was enjoying himself, he was never truly enjoying himself.

Did he like this?

Nat tried to untangle his emotions. Fear, shame, guilt, stress, paranoia—oh, there was relief here, too. Relief and affection. Small flutterings of it. Nat exhaled and tried to release all his tension. He did like this. He hated it, but he liked it.

“What—what’s that thing called?” he asked during one of the movie’s lulls in action. “That thing that gets all up in your brain. The Greeble. The Gerbil.”

Ripley wheezed, laughing. “The Garble?”

“That’s the bastard.”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Do you believe in it?”

“I don’t… not believe in it… I guess.” Ripley reached up to pat Nat’s face, ruffle his hair, playfully. “I mean, do I believe there’s something alive in vampire bodies? Like, wriggling around in the blood and stuff? Something that gives us our power and demands life force in return? Abso-fucking-lutely. Do I believe in—in some big spiritual vampire hivemind god that connects us all? Not really. I think it’s just—a way certain people have of wrapping their heads around the physical. It’s like a comforting delusion, maybe." She stopped for a breath. "Do you believe in the Garble?”

“I don’t know,” Nat said. “I haven’t decided yet. It talks to me. I can feel a presence sometimes. It could be something alive in me, like a parasite. Or it could be a big hivemind god.”

Ripley nodded thoughtfully.

“My friend Alex thinks it’s a spiritual thing, I think,” Nat said. “I wouldn’t call it a delusion exactly. I’ve been delusional. Religion is different.”

“Does your friend think it has, like, a purpose?” Ripley asked. “That’s what I always ask that trips people up. If it’s a religion, if it’s spiritual, what’s the point? What does it all mean? What’s the higher purpose?”

“I dunno. I’ll ask next time I see him, maybe.”

“Here’s a hint: there isn’t a higher purpose,” Ripley said. “It’s all just—just a fucked up medical condition.”

“If it’s a medical condition, why is no one working towards a cure?”

“You think vampires are running around offering themselves up for medical research? We’re not human anymore. If we told people what we really are, that we’re monsters, we’d get cut up into teeny tiny pieces by the government for sure.”

To emphasise Ripley’s point, the lead of the movie ran a chainsaw through a zombie’s decaying chest.

“Yeah,” Nat agreed. “Best not.”

@transmasc-wizard @saturn-iidae @polyaubergine @tracle0 @goosemixtapes @valence-positive @the-one-who-makes-negative-noise @ambiguousfiction @afoolandathief @silverwarewolf @mecharose @vellichor-virgo @plasticseaslug @jetstargenderfuckery @multi-lefaiye @writeouswriter @junoshusband @writing-is-a-martial-art @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @sleepycaprine @cream-and-tea @gailynovelry @lefttigerobservation @indecentpause @somealienquill @cannivalisms @violetfoxsketches @approximately20eggs @mohluskiepedard @desastreus @kk7-rbs @cee-grice @northwyrm @xylophonicsynapse @careful-pyromancer @recapitulation @incandescent-creativity @whole-buncha-snakess @mysticalalleycat @thatonecrowguy @va-nila-bean @televisionjester @excessive-vampires @walkman-cat

[bloopitynoot]

3 Shadowgast fics that made me ugly cry

Okay so I read a LOT of shadowgast fanfics and I wanted to share some of the ones that made me absolutely weep. (I was going to wait until tomorrow but I got too excited to share).

All of these have some intense emotional distress, but I promise you all they may be angsty but they absolutely have happy endings.

They are all set in very different AU's, are hefty completed fics, and have similar feels!

1. the breathe before the phrase

(171513 words) by @kmackatie Chapters: 20/20 Rating: Explicit Summary: The ringing note of a concert A is played by the oboe, echoing on its own in the space. It’s picked up by the wind section, followed rapidly by the brass, and the familiar feeling of an orchestra calibrating takes over Caleb. The tonal adjustments as each person brings their instrument into alignment sinks into him and something inside Caleb shifts in recognition as Essek leads the strings into their own tuning. It’s like something is waking up, like something unfurling and firing across long-unused paths of memory. His hands shake slightly, as he raises his bow and joins them, fingers fumbling against the pegs and fine tuners that give him control over his instrument. ---- Essek Thelyss is a leading violinist, his spot as Shadowhand of the Rosohna Philharmonic Orchestra has been uncontested for over a decade. Caleb Widogast is a recent arrival to the city, convinced by his friends to audition for one of the vacant violinist positions. After starting off on the wrong foot, Caleb and Essek get to slowly know each other, discover what brings them joy, create while defying expectations, and find out that what they can produce together may just be better than anything they can do separately.

Why I cried: The amount of pressure put on Essek made my heart absolutely shatter. That plus the pinning between Caleb and Essek had me weeping. The hurt/comfort energy. The bad parent Dierta and of course past Caleb Ickythong trauma healing. Other than the story itself Katie has put so much energy into explaining the music, the playlist is stunning, and the inspiration for the played pieces in the fic are grounded in actual compositions. No spoilers, but the ending is gorgeous <3

2.Till Human Voices Wake us

(66080 words) by @ariadne-mouse Chapters: 23/23 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Merman!Caleb, no Mighty Nein but otherwise canon setting/events, Neutral evil Essek, Essek-typical anxiety and fatalism, Loneliness, Hurt/Comfort, spooky gothic vibes, some horror and disturbing imagery, the ocean as a threat/love language, Illustrations, drowning themes Summary: Essek Thelyss, lonely and ambitious prodigy, comes to Nicodranas to make a risky gamble with the Assembly. At the water’s edge, he finds himself swept up in another dangerous entanglement he can't seem to escape — and as time goes on, he's less and less sure he wants to. Will his treasonous alliance or the sea itself devour him first? (Or, the one where Caleb is a merman.)

Why I cried: okay so look, this story was so fucking sad I can't even begin to describe it. The love and longing between the two, the tragic backstory for Caleb. Treason = death for Essek (it's a happy ending though so do not worry, but I definitely worried so you don't have to LOL). It also has some stunning art in it!!!

3. what luminous worlds await

what luminous worlds await (178674 words) by @essektheylyss Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Champion of the Luxon AU, Alternate Universe - Future, Space Opera, Religious Conflict, religious trauma, Violence, Minor Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Dreams vs. Reality, Demisexual Essek Thelyss, Past Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Fictional Religion & Theology, Implied/Referenced Sex, Mention of Using Sex as Self-Harm, several immortals grapple with loss while trying to save the world, so so many liberties taken with consecution, this wouldn't be a problem if you'd EXPLAIN matthew mercer, and/or if a certain drow would give literally any straight answers, (I mean he can't give straight answers when he's not straight), Background Fjorester (Past), Post-Canon, …very post-canon Summary: “You seek my nature. It is a lonely endeavor. Would you like to join me on this path?” “Yes.” — After a thousand years, a divine champion awakes in a lightless cave above Port Damali with little memory to speak of and a beacon in his hands. Even as he struggles to piece the past together and process what he has lost while he slept, the future demands he answer for the crimes of his elders. It offers little in return, but perhaps there are fragments of possibility awaiting him.

Why I cried: Omg oh boy, this one made me BIG cry- honestly one of my favourite fics I have read so far. A true space opera, a story of love, in many forms, over time, space, and multiple lives. I sobbed from chapter one literally until the end. Though I think you will need an A03 account to read this one, but it is worth the wait to set one up. My partner watched me cry so much while I read this. I totally did download and save this fic to send to pals so they can cry with me. It is worth the agony for this happy ending. I might still be crying LOL

[eatmeandbirthmeagain]

Hi there, sending you lots of love and good cheer, darling💕💕💕💕 Love your work, really respect your contribution to our favorite fandom!

I would love to see a work that reflects the friendship between Baldwin and Saladin, rulers from two different nations, cultures and religions, yet find common ground and maintain good relations. I have a rough, simple plot in my head: Baldwin visits Saladin, being his guest during one of the truces. The two, despite the war conflict, get along well and are friendly with each other. At one moment Saladin notices that Baldwin is getting sick due to a combination of heat and illness, and he immediately takes steps to help him by keeping him from fainting, offering him his bed, calling his doctors and offering him all sorts of comforts✨

That's it, I really like the idea of them acting like real men (and they really are), being very human and understanding, respecting each other and also not shy to show their softer side and support each other! I hope this description is enough to give you a rough idea of what I'd like to see! Thank you in advance🥰

I apologize if there are any mistakes, I'm writing through a translator✌️

♧ Old Friend - King Baldwin & Saladin ♧

♧ Angst ♧

A/N: Hey girl !!!! I was so exited to do this request, I love it so much and I really hope it came out how you wanted it to 😭🩷. I love your art so much and youre such an amazing friend, this is the least I can do 🫶. As always, this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figures. Enjoy!

PS: THIS IS NOT A SHIP FIC. Putting emphasis on that 😅

TW: Leprosy, Mentions of Fainting

It was late in the afternoon by the time Baldwin along with his party of royal officials and advisors arrived in Egypt.

As much as long travel weakened his already frail form, this journey was important. He along with his advisors would be guests at the Sultan’s palace for a few days while a treaty of peace was written to be signed by the two of them, putting an end to the conflict fought for hundreds of years.

Baldwin was in pain from the long, strenuous day spent on horseback. His body ached and the blazing sun left his heavily bandaged body overheated.

But there was much to be done before he could rest.

His mind had raced for the entire journey. As much as the young king kept up his usual calm temperament, he couldn't help but feel slightly nervous.

This was his first time speaking with Saladin since the Christian’s victory many years ago and he hoped that despite their past, they would find common ground.

As the palace came into view from a distance, the knot in Baldwin's throat tightened.

Saladin, along with his own advisors, greeted the group at the palace entrance, instructing his servants to help Baldwin down from his horse after noticing the young king’s slightly slumped over position.

Baldwin thanked them and straightened his posture, attempting to keep his professional appearance despite the pain he felt.

They said their greetings and entered the palace to begin the first day of affairs. For Baldwin, every step was agony. He felt dizzy and the bandages were too tight around his skin, but he had to keep his failing body upright.

“Just a few more hours,” he told himself as they entered the Great Hall.

As everybody took their assigned seats, Baldwin found himself seated next to Saladin. They spoke for a while as everyone else got settled. The young king's nerves calmed themselves as he and the sultan became acquainted, even agreeing to bury the past and look to the future.

As the meeting proceeded, Baldwin felt himself fading in and out of consciousness.

It was already dark outside and he assumed the meeting would go for far less time. Saladin noticed this and made a mental note to keep an eye on him, just in case his condition worsened.

Until one point, Baldwin could not keep himself upright anymore and felt himself falling to the side with nothing he could do about it.

A few of Saladin’s guards managed to catch him, helping his weak body back into the chair. As Baldwin came back into consciousness, he could barely make out what was happening.

Saladin ended the meeting and requested everyone to go to their respective chambers for a while before dinner was served.

He placed a hand on Baldwin’s shoulder, searching for his barely open eyes.

“I am very sorry about this my friend, I should have seen to your adequate care when you arrived”

“It's quite alright, I’m just tired..” the young king replied weakly.

“Come, I will show you to your quarters” the sultan said with a reassuring smile, gesturing for the guards to help Baldwin to his feet.

----------------------

Once inside, Saladin instructed the guards to fetch his private physicians immediately as Baldwin sat down on the large bed. He had regained a small amount of strength, just enough to hold himself upright at least.

“I can't thank you enough for your hospitality,” the young king said, his voice still raspy and faint.

“It is the least I can do, truely” Saladin replied as the physicians filed into the room.

They worked quickly to remove his old bandages, cleaning his wounds and covering them with new bandages as Baldwin lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling.

All the while, Saladin stood beside the closed door with his eyes fixed on the wooden floor to give the king some privacy while still ensuring he was alright.

Once the physicians left the room, the sultan approached Baldwin’s bedside. The young king now wore a white sleep robe, his mask was removed to reveal his bandaged face, framed by blonde curls.

Upon noticing his presence, Baldwin gave him a small, grateful smile.

“How are you feeling?” Saladin asked, taking a seat on the chair beside the bed.

“Much better now, thank you”, Baldwin replied with half lidded eyes.

Once again, the two got to talking well into the night.

“As much as I enjoy your company sultan, it is getting quite late” Baldwin said, covering a soft yawn with his bandaged hand.

“Yes I suppose it is. Would you like me to stay and watch over you? Just in case something happens” Saladin offered.

Baldwin smiled weakly, “I'd like that” he replied before letting his eyes fall shut.

The young king was fast asleep within minutes, leaving Saladin to watch over him. It was odd seeing him like this. A young man who was once his sworn enemy was now trusting him to watch over him while he slept.

Baldwin looked much different in sleep he had discovered. His face was softened, especially without the mask. The sultan had always seen the young king as a man, but in that moment he realized just how young he really was.

Only twenty years old and had already experienced such hardship. It was truly admirable.

While Saladin respected Baldwin as a king, he also felt compelled to look after him. Like an old friend from long ago.

He looked so peaceful like this, his fluttering eyelids closed with soft, slightly audible breaths escaping his parted lips.

Once he was sure that Baldwin was sleeping comfortably, Saladin stood and covered him with a blanket, tucking him in gently before deciding to sit back down and finally allowing his eyes to close.

He soon dozed off into a deep sleep, content with the knowledge that his guest and friend was alright. 

------------------------

The following morning, Baldwin woke first. His eyes opened slowly to reveal the dimly lit room. As everything came into view, he realized that he was not alone.

Saladin was still seated in the same place from the night before, exept only this time, he was sleeping soundly with his head propped up on his hand.

Gratitude swelled in Baldwin’s heart as he realized that his friend had remained true to his promise and stayed to watch over him.

Noticing that it was still early morning, the young king closed his eyes once more and allowed himself to drift off again with a small smile on his face in anticipation of the days to come

[forgot-how-catflap-works]

Hot take: Sisyphys got a sweet deal

We must imagine Sisyphus happy, according to existentialist philosopher Albert Camus. It’s one of his hottest and most widely known takes. The idea that when confronted with the meaninglessness of his existence, condemned for all eternity to push a boulder up a mountain only for it to roll back down, dear old Sisyphus may find contentment. What other choice does he have after all? 

(Showing my age here with the rage face meme and will not apologise #MillenialPride)

The assertion is that we mortals are faced with a similar conundrum. Life is unpredictable, chaotic, and frequently terrifying. With nothing but the infinite void to look forward to, how are we to spend our days? Either we embrace religion and pray for eternal salvation, skip the queue to the void by killing ourselves because it doesn’t make any difference in the end, or laugh at the absurdity of it all and find joy in the simple act of being here. It is up to us to create our own meaning. 

On my good days this notion provides me a lot of comfort, and links in nicely with the zen buddhist idea that this moment is the only thing we truly have. So the take home is to embrace it, and live fully for the moment. It’s all very Dead Poets Society or, if you’re like me and have never seen that film, the B plot in Season 1, Episode 3 of Community.  In the immortal words of Professor Whitman, “Seize the day Jeff, for real. Go running naked in a hailstorm, kiss a girl in the middle of the day, fly a kite but do it for yourself! Or you wot just fail my class, you’ll fail life.”��

On my bad days however, I’m just salty about it. Suddenly the pressure to create my own meaning in the limited time I have becomes crippling to the point of paralysis. Every moment not spent living my best life is a moment wasted. I move steadily towards the grave, the years ahead steadily becoming fewer than those behind. What have I achieved with these dwindling hours, these precious days in which I am burdened to create my own meaning? I’ll tell you what I’ve done; play RuneScape and be depressed.

The problem with transferring this thinking from Sisyphus to a human living under late stage capitalism in the 21st century, is that Sisyphys didn’t have to go to a fucking job everyday. All he had to do was push a boulder! All day! Piece of piss mate. 

What I wouldn’t give to just push a boulder all day. No laundry, no dishes, no reletenlessly targeted advertising and no more fucking work emails or meetings. I bet Sisyphys never once had a melon-related panic attack in the fruit aisle of Aldi. On top of that, pushing a massive boulder to the top of a mountain is an incredible workout. Right now I have to drive nearly 30 minutes to go and sweat in a leisure centre while strangers grunt in my periphery. Give me the boulder any day. I want that head empty, no thoughts, brain scampled egg life baby. Release me from the curse of my own self-awareness. 

Okay, I get it that Albert Camu grew up in poverty, survived tuberculosis, and lived through the Second World War. I readily admit that my “melon crisis” doesn’t stack up in comparison.  All I’m saying is, it’s pretty easy to imagine someone happy when they are free from the mountains of bullshit that besiege us every single day. I am completely overwhelmed by the mere act of existing under capitalism. The sheer number of decisions I have to make every single day just to get from one end to the next breaks my autistic brain. I can’t handle it, didn’t ask for it, and I certainly don’t want it. But surely we could do literally anything else? 

I know it’s sort of laughable to say, “Let’s all go back to a simple, agrarian existence where we live off the land and chill by a waterfall smoking phat blunts.” Like, obviously that sounds a thousand times better than what we’re doing now, but short of a catastrophic societal collapse and then thousands of years of recovery, that’s not going to happen. Did you know it (sort of) takes six months and over $1,500 dollars to make a single chicken sandwich from scratch? Sustaining a single human life requires an incredible amount of work. 

There are so many of us, and we’re so connected and interdependent on each other as a species. No organism on the planet comes close to what we have built for ourselves and it is an amazing feat by every conceivable metric. But what is it all for? Have we ever once as a civilisation stopped and asked ourselves why we’re doing any of this? 

For whatever reason, we are apparently limited in our conception of all that remains possible. A civilisation disjointed and misaligned, adrift on this rock hurtling through space at mind boggling speeds, confronted with the meaninglessness of it all and refusing to collectively acknowledge it for even a moment. 

It’s like we’re still locked in that primordial stage of evolution, where we must accrue resources to survive the harsh winter and outlive our rivals. When we predominantly existed as smaller bands or tribes, that made a lot of sense. But now we are a single connected superorganism, our sense of competition is squarely in opposition to our sense of collaboration. 

We broadly recognise the need to collaborate in tackling existential threats like climate change, yet our primal competitiveness sees us knee jerking our way back towards fascism. It’s like we’ve gone to the doctor about a backache and they prescribed a dozen hungry tigers to be administered immediately. We’re still acting as though there is not enough to go around, when there is in fact plenty; it has just been misallocated. I am left always wondering why? What do we have to gain from eating ourselves alive?

I cannot help but think it comes from a petulant refusal to collectively acknowledge the void. We struggle desperately for meaning, to leave a legacy, but forget that it is impossible. Even those who live on in infamy after their death will one day perish from the collective consciousness. Our sun will die, all heat will fade from the universe until it is nothing but a barren, lifeless waste. No tower you build or lineage you foster will outlast that. Yet we sit watching helplessly as oligarchs and plutocrats rail against their own mortality to catastrophic and destructive consequences for the rest of us. I suppose in the long run, that doesn’t really matter though does it? 

We have made a home for ourselves in the belly of a vast, insatiable beast. A beast so hungry for our blood and labour that it stifles anything that cannot be effectively comodified. How are we to find happiness and peace under such conditions? It is simply not a priority. 

To quote folk punk band AJJ: 

This is no exaggeration, we're living in a death machine

And no, it's not just your imagination

You've been living in a death machine

Some of us are passengers, and some of us are driving

Almost everybody's getting bled to death to keep the motor running

Sisyhus at least is free from its roiling guts, and in that freedom it is not difficult to imagine him happy. For the rest of us, it takes a little more effort and a lot more work. 

[internetgiraffekid1673]

It says in your little thing that your Mormon, are you still Mormon cuz respectfully I've heard a lot of shit about Mormons and how they are very transphobic and homophobic! So not trying to be rude just genuinely wondering if I read that wrong or something.

Hey! Yeah, I am a mormon, but I love all my queer siblings, including/especially my trans people. But it's a complicated religion and I have a complicated relationship with it, so I understand the confusion.

The short answer is that I was raised mormon, continue to find a lot of comfort and truth in SOME of their teachings, and I am perpetually very pissed with a lot of their other teachings, cuz yeah, a lot of them are Not Good. So I'm mormon and mad about it. It's kind of like. . .imagine if you were raised Catholic and only really have good memories of your Catholic community and find a lot of comfort in teachings about God's love, but you absolutely despise the administration of the Catholic church and like, everything they say about queer people. It's like that.

The long answer is this:

A) The mormons get a bad rap on the internet for stuff that isn't actually true. If you ever have a specific question, I am happy to answer to the best of my abilities.

B) Having said that, a lot of the teachings of the mormon church regarding queer people are really really bad and I do not support or encourage this even slightly. I myself am queer, and I have to put up with hearing all kinds of queerphobic shit from the church all the time. And I hate it and I speak against it whenever it is safe for me to do so. It just. All of it goes soooo against the other teachings of the church. I am not the only queer member. There is an entire community of us on tumblr over here. We all work and suffer through it together.

C) I still believe in the stuff that's at the fundamentals of the gospel though. Namely, God exists and he loves all of us unconditionally. He sent us to Earth so that we could learn and grow and become happier through our experiences here. Free agency/the ability to make independent choices is very VERY important to him. He sent Jesus Christ to suffer for our sins so that when we do fuck it up, we don't have to live with that guilt forever. Jesus also suffered for our pain and sorrow so that we didn't have to and can bring us healing. We're supposed to love our neighbors with our whole hearts.

I also believe that Joseph Smith did translate the Book of Mormon, although he was still a human being who made mistakes and I don't believe in a LOT of the stuff he said and did. I doubt you've read the Book of Mormon, but it's really just The Bible Extended Edition. There's a reason it's full name is The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. It covers what the hell was going on in the Americas during the biblical times.

I also believe that God has chosen prophets for our modern day to continue giving us revelation. I also believe those prophets are mostly crusty old men with outdated personal opinions that they mistake for revelation, that they fuck it up a lot, and I wish a lot of them would hurry up and die so I no longer have to listen to their bullshit.

D) Religion and faith are personal. I'm not here to convert anyone, especially other queer people. I continue practicing my religion because I have had literal years and some really amazing people to help me sort out what is good and bad and to figure out what parts of it are best for me as a person. I understand that what's best for some people is literally none of it, and I also understand that while some people could benefit from just doing what I do, that the way the church treats queer people (and also women sometimes) does more harm than the good parts help. So while I talk about my religion sometimes, it's always more about my personal relationship with it and never to try to convert people. I fully support ex-mormons who left the church, because sometimes the environment can be truly toxic and the religious trauma they have experienced is real.

E) The culture of the church and the actual doctrinal teachings of the church are two very different things. Utah mormon culture is also different than regular mormon culture. All of these things have good aspects to them, but church culture and Utah mormon culture also have a lot of really harmful things too, and these don't even have anything to do with the crusty old men being homophobic/transphobic. I am also mad about this, and I also complain about this fairly frequently.

I'm glad you asked because I understand that this stuff can be confusing. I think it's impossible to be any kind of religious queer person and not have a really complicated and deeply personal relationship with your religion.

I hope that answered your question, and I completely understand if this makes my blog feel like an unsafe space for you and you feel like you need to unfollow me. I do, however, tag every church related post I make, both with a religion cw and the tumblr mormon tag. Do what's best for you, and much love.

Also, unrelated, but I really appreciate all the posts you make and every time I see a little notification from you on one of my posts, it makes me so very happy.

[dandelionjack]

as a natural skeptic i’m gonna be real with you. i’m slamming the brakes on this whole religion thing before i figure out what it really is that i believe. one thing i know for certain is that i don’t think my experiences of the world relate to what you call “hard polytheism” at all, so i will be refraining from referring to myself as “pagan” or “heathen” or similar terms from here on out — as i learned from reddit, actual pagans, i.e. those of you who believe that the Gods from whatever pantheon you follow are literal, actual, 100% independent, non-anthropogenic, non-metaphoric entities, tend to frown upon talk of “archetypes” and co. i don’t want to be seen as insulting your Gods with my home-brewed eclectic woo-woo nonsense, so i’ll keep at an arm’s length until i’m one hundred percent sure that i can defend my own beliefs because i know what they are.

i personally lean towards the chaos magic side of approaching these concepts — although, truth be told, i need to do more reading. a lot more reading. but once again, i stress, personally, i find myself far more comfortable with the concept of egregores. metaphysical entities, congregations of energy and intent, that have been given power and consciousness through centuries of dedicated devotion and prayer from humans. if enough people direct their thoughts towards an idea for long enough, leave offerings for that idea, hold festivities in its honour, write poetry and paint artworks depicting and praising it, then it’s no wonder if it gains a mind and will of its own. i lean towards the idea of deities/other spirit entities as personified aspects of the universe, as currents of energy or patterns of thought or representations of natural phenomena that were given different (or many) names in different historical/geographic contexts and have taken on a semi-solid shape with time

which is to say, i don’t know whether the Presence that has been visiting me — the one that rekindled/sparked/ignited my interest in all of this, pun quite intended if you know who i’m talking about, is genuinely the ambiguous, controversial Norse deity that i have been referring to Them as; whether They are some kind of thoughtform or another separate spirit; a manifestation of my subconscious desire to “Aren’t You Tired Of Being Nice Don’t You Just Wanna Go A Little Apeshit”; or a character i Made Up In My Head (not outside of the scope of possibility, knowing my tendency to spot patterns where there aren’t any). i’m treading with caution. that’s what you do. because after doing some wider research, i really, really don’t wish to be associated with that sort of person — you know the one. edgy. rebellious kid. doesn’t know what they’re talking about. witchtoker

after all, i did come here through pop culture. so, maybe, all this ends up being is another hyperfixation on mythology. i’ve had those before as a way younger teen — thanks, uncle rick. don’t really know how to conclude this, so: i’ll get more educated and get back to you. if any of you (you know who you are) have any BOOK or ARTICLE RECOMMENDATIONS based on what i’ve said above, please don’t hesitate to PUT THEM IN THE COMMENT SECTION

xoxo, ivy

[queenofthecats]

ʏᴜɪ ᴋᴏᴍᴏʀɪ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪᴀʙᴏʟɪᴋ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀꜱ’ ꜰᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ

—————————————

Yui is one of my favorite characters, and for a reason. Let me explain:

(Please excuse the spelling mistakes)

1. 𝓔𝓶𝓹𝓪𝓽𝓱𝔂 𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓐𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓢𝓸𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓞𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓼

This is what makes a person strong in my opinion, and Yui has a lot of it. She’s caring, despite the situation that she’s put in. She can admit when she’s wrong, and she genuinely feels bad. A little dense at times, but she still cares. I find her reminding me a lot of what I want to be. And no, I don’t mean her situation, I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemies. What I mean is her ability to forgive, her ability to heal. She’s like a golden retriever honestly, and her being genuine is what makes her so likable and is what makes me so confused when she receives hate.

2. 𝐻𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝒶𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒶𝓃𝒹/𝑜𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒻

I’ve never really felt comfortable as a queer woman around religious people. But she’s my comfort character, and for a good reason. Her faith, and her desire to not give up is what many of us wish we had the ability to achieve. She doesn’t use her religion as a way to attack, rather as a way to hold herself to moral standards. Yui doesn’t give up fast when it comes to her beliefs, she’s strong and isn’t swayed easily when it comes to something she truly believes, which is something so beautiful in a way.

3. ᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʜᴇʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴀᴄᴄᴏᴜɴᴛᴀʙʟᴇ

As I mentioned earlier, she, despite being a teenager, is quite accountable. She apologizes when she does something she considers wrong. She tries to her best ability to understand why she made people upset. Not to mention, when she realizes she did something, even unintentionally, that hurt somebody, she genuinely seems to feel bad. I know this sounds pretty basic, but a lot of people seem to lack this, and so do so many ocs in the fandom.

4. Ｈｅｒ Ｅｍｏｔｉｏｎｓ

I know a lot of people love the cold-hearted look, but that isn’t favorable at all to me. Everybody has emotions nearly, except few with certain mental disorders. Yui plays into them, which is so realistic in a way, especially in her age range. Her bad endings reminds me of the female rage trend. If everybody is nonchalant about everything, imagine how boring that would be? No reactions, no nothing. We use art as a way to express our emotions, our backgrounds, everything we ever known. Imagine watching a horror movie for example, and nobody reacts the whole time. There would be no emotional value really. This is why human art is so special, this is why Yui is special. I don’t watch much media, but I’ve never seen a teenage female character that I’ve found interesting and emotionally relatable as Yui. She makes mistakes, she knows that. She isn’t made to be a completely unrealistic character, who is perfect, and fits every beauty standard, not that she’s not pretty, cause she is, but still. She’s perfect in a teenage girl way to me, not in a creepy old man who profits off unrealistic expectations way. She’s one of the realest female characters I’ve ever seen. I wish I was as strong as emotionally that she is.

5. Ｈｅｒ Ｄｅｓｉｇｎ

I could go on for hours about how much I love her and why, but I’m going to cut it short as I have more posts that I want to do!

Anyways, Yui’s design is aesthetically pleasing to me. I actually got into the fandom because of her design, as I saw it on Pinterest and fell in love with the color palette and how pretty she was to me. Her eyes are so pretty, and so is her hair. She looks like she has this warm aura surrounding her, like she’s the sun itself. She’s so simply designed, yet I love her. It’s funny, as somebody who has always been into more alternative fashion, I love her simple girly design. Her facial expressions make me laugh tbh, and she’s always so pretty no matter what she’s in.

6. 𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝙼𝚎 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚜𝚋𝚒𝚊𝚗

Now, everybody in Diabolik lovers and also the fandom helped me realize this, but especially Yui. I loved the way she treated others, and started to think about how I would want a woman treating me that way, the way she treated the DL boys. I wanted somebody nice like Yui, but more than a friend.

The DL boys also helped me realize that it wasn’t being a certain way that I couldn’t stand, I just can’t stand idea of being with a man. This fandom also helped me realize this, as no matter how much they characterized the guys, no matter how much empathy they gave them, I was not attracted to them, much less real men. Their anime designs are some of the best I’ve seen, but I still couldn’t find myself, which caused me to go down a rabbit hole, that made me realize I did not like men at all.

-Livi

—————————————

[pianocat939]

I think I’m crumbling a little bit and kinda need to reset so I’m going to indulge myself.

This is purposely romantic, but I suppose in some parts can be platonic as well.

I’m a sad little human rn so I’m just gonna rant about my obsession for a while.

Tw: it’s long, everything is so inconsistent, this is a mess, manipulation, implied murder, worshipping, religious themes (as in MC is the religion), trauma, dependency issues,

Yandere Rottmnt Hcs (Only the turtles)

Raphael

Type: Dependent + Violent

• He’s a very very good boy who needs a lot of comfort from all the burden he’s had from being the eldest.

• Therapist MC? Therapist MC.

• Since the day you met, the two of you became much closer with the turtles. Especially Raphael.

• You found out you and him had some similarities, mostly with the problems in each other’s life. The feeling of responsibility weighing down on both of your lives; having trouble expressing weakness due to being always relied on.

• At first the poor big boy didn’t want to really open up in fear of being judged, but slowly he comes to spilling all his tears out.

• “I’m really glad we met, Y/n. Now I don’t feel so alone standing up so high.”

• Every time you visit the lair he excitedly pulls you to either the training grounds or his room. There, he shows his new moves or talks about his worries and thoughts.

• Overtime he becomes dependent on the attention; following you around to all the places you go to (without being seen as a mutant ofc).

• He just finds so much comfort in your love! He feels so safe and appreciated! All he wants to do is cling onto you!

• Of course, this becomes a problem. Primarily when you have things to do other than school or work. Even if you try to explain to him, he'll justify himself by insisting you need him just as much.

• Let's say you somehow manage to avoid him once. However, the Foot clan decides to show up and give you a little “nick”.

• Raph is right on the enemies' tail, but is enraged at the sight he finds himself at.

• Then, he breaks.

• Malewife turns into manslaughter. When the fight is over, his bloodied hands hug his terrified friend.

• "Hey, hey, it's ok now. I'm here, I'm always here. You were there for me, and now it's time I return the favor."

• He's definitely kidnapping you after the incident (or “keeping you safe” as he likes to say). His anxiety gets so bad he just can't think rationally if he doesn't know where you are at all times.

• Will ask for cuddles and forehead kisses 101%.

• Speaking of cuddles, he holds you so close and tight, to the point it’s a little suffocating. Again, calls it “keeping you safe”.

• Bro literally does almost everything with you; sleeping, eating, watching/playing anything, and ofc affection.

• He’s extremely dependent, maybe not on doing things per se, but needs you for emotional security.

• If you ever escape he'll go on a rampage, destroying everything around him until he finds you. It's so bad his brothers can't stop him.

• “Sweetie, where are you?! I’m freakin’ out!”

• His anxiety eats him up, to the point he panics if you aren’t in the same room 24/7. If you ever want privacy you’ll have to hand a plushie of yourself (graciously made by Mikey), but will only keep him busy for a few minutes.

• He’s very suffocating, but means well…If murdering and hiding bodies means well that is.

Leonardo

Type: Manipulative + Dependent (Indirectly)

• We all know he’s the master of mind games.

• His actions don’t really start until a little later in your friendship; only because he’s a dumbass about his feelings (like he's obviously some type of gay) and kept making excuses.

• It could be quite anything that will trigger him into realization but once he does, he’s unstoppable. The reason will probably be some heart-to-heart interaction, especially with all the trauma he keeps inside.

• The reason he even does manipulate is 1. he’s good at it, 2. he wants to have you rely on him, and to see him as your knight in shining✨ armor.

• Now to elaborate a bit more on the second reason he manipulates, he feels useless. He doesn't express it too much, mainly when he covers his emotions with humor. I think we all know he canonically feels useless (ex. Don Suave episode).

• So to simplify things, he feels useless, so to make himself feel better he tries to be useful to you...By making you feel helpless.

• He's subtle at first. For example, he comments about how mean your friends are sometimes, or why hanging out with him is much more fun with his portal ōdachi.

• "Y'know I was hoping that we could hang out in the Hidden City, but if you're going to shop with your other friends then I suppose I'll go alone."

• But later on, he feels you don't depend on him enough so he multiplies the intensity as time flows.

• Prepare for his unleashing. He'll start inviting you to missions (effortless ones, nothing to get you too injured) and save you if you're ever in a time of assistance. Don't worry, he'll protect you, you should never worry about your safety when you're with him.

• "You're safe, no danger when my fabulous presence is here~"

• If you're the type of person who doesn't mind being dependent then he'll be ecstatic. Calling you his "distressed darling" while snickering.

• He'll surprisingly confess like a normal, legal being. No, you can't reject him because he'll just manipulate you even more.

• If you don't like being dependent on someone too much then he might snap.

• Why can't you appreciate all he's done for you? He's just trying to be a good friend!

• He'll angrily confess, gripping your shoulders and a mad look in his eyes. "I'm doing this so that maybe, you would find me useful! So that maybe you'll see how much I- I- I love you!"

• He's a wreck and will continue to manipulate you until you finally accept his love and hardships. Once you do, you'll be a pretty normal couple, except for how oddly accepting you are of his actions.

• You're his little darling, all vulnerable without him right by your side.

(Sorry I have to go ham with him, he's the perfect material for this type of writing, and I'm similar to his personality so I can understand everything about him accurately.)

Donatello

Type: OVERPROTECTIVE + Controlling

• Really, his horrifying demeanor is quite the delicious thing to write.

• Not only is he someone of implied violence, but he's also the exact definition of many villain troupes. So he would be an excellent antagonist (which is quite literally what this blog is about).

• You see, villains usually tend to have some type of downfall before their absolute breaking. In this case, Othello Von Ryan, felt as if his inventions were never advanced enough for his family and friends (no he would never fucking admit it).

• But then you came along and god is he an excited little boy. If you show even the smallest interest in his work he'll chatter away, his eyes brighter than the moon.

• Praise him, he's hooked for life. Finally, someone sees his genius technology!

• "You need to lay your eyes upon my new circuit work! It is not only smaller, but it contains the inner workings of your phone but complex on the triple!"

• But then he notices that there's an outside world that you wander on; endangering your life every day.

• He rarely shows his emotions, but when he's alone he feels a dark worry clawing at his brain, feeding him horrible thoughts.

• What if you get hurt wandering the city? You never know what the dark corners appear to have. They could injure you so badly! Even worse, murder you!

• He overthinks things already as a sane person so it's not a surprise that he suddenly hands small but effective weaponry to you, a crooked smile of unease gleaming in the dim light of his lab.

• You appreciate the thought, but soon it becomes overboard with the things he suggests.

• He's made a protective shell for you (more on defense than offense), any sharp edges in the lair are covered in some sort of soft material, and any technology you used to own will now be destroyed and replaced by his handwork (no hackers in this household).

• You're so precious to him, and if the person he loves so much disappears, he doesn't know what he'll do.

• "I'm going to attach a non-tracking attachment to your phone, alright? You can never be sure about what people are trying to do." It includes a tracker that only he can access.

• If you ever try to stop his behavior he brushes it off and continues to work on his technology. Most likely some type of camera to watch you.

• One day, an incident happens near you and you end up being wounded, having to call him for help as the hospital bills are not worth it.

• He'll act slightly distressed, but nothing too noticeable; however, he's panicking inside and unleashing all his medical tools stashed in the corner of his lab.

• He'll ask his brothers to deliver you to his working space, getting all the chemicals and instruments ready. His mind is running wild, thinking of all possible situations that could happen.

• Once he knows you're safe and all operations are a success, he'll usher his family out of the room. Stating you need rest as he monitors your health.

• He clutches one of your undamaged limbs, tears pouring down as he blabbers, "I never express my true thoughts but darling you worried me so much! I could never bear the thought of you hurt without me there to save you!"

• You're literally unconscious and he'll be making promises about how he'll keep you safe and away from harm. Which may or may not be him keeping you trapped at the lair.

• Consider yourself an eternal hospital patient because he treats you like one. Your diet, physical activity, and even sleep schedule will be monitored by him. Daily check-ups are also another thing.

• If you ever question his drastic measure he'll just quietly mumble, "Hm whatever you say, now let's watch some Jupiter Jim as I assess your temperature and overall well-being."

• He'll admit his feelings in a secluded way and just assumes you like him back. He's the smartest, and most handsome man alive!

• Once you're together he'll try to be a little more expressive on his feelings, but not really. He'll for sure tell you his violent tendencies whenever he sees a friend of yours walking down the streets though.

• Overall, he worries a lot and can't seem to get rid of his anxiety that sky rockets whenever you're not in a designated safe area.

Michelangelo

Type: Obsessive + Delusional

• Another one great for writing. Now at first, he seems to be cheerful, and pure, when really he has a twisted mind himself (in his own adorable way ofc).

• He develops his obsession rapidly, within a few months of being friends with you. He'll ask questions about your interests and dislikes, trying to soak up any information as much as possible.

• He is an artist, so he loves viewing you as his "muse". He thinks that you can do no wrong and that the world is meant to revolve around you no one else.

• Needless to say, he loves recreating you in any shape or form. Sometimes, he'll create a recipe dedicated to you and only you. Heck, he'll try to name a shade of some color after you (even though it's already named).

• He wants to surround himself with the encompassment of you. The walls of his room are painted your favorite color, and pictures of you line up those same walls. He also has sketchbooks upon sketchbooks dedicated to you.

• "I think them standing with their arms spread out really captures their beauty!"

• He's obsessive for sure, but he's delusional too.

• He thinks that no one deserves to see you because he assumes they are worthless compared to your divinity. Which leads to him trying to worship you as if you're a god of some sort.

• He'll stop you from interacting with friends and family; with the only exceptions being his family (even then they are always on the lookout by Dr. Delicate Touch).

• Will he bring offerings? Yes, he will.

• It can be quite a few things. Most cuisine he's made or artworks he's created, but occasionally he'll write little poems about you. He is an embodiment of creativity after all.

• "My god! My deity! Will you take this artwork of you as an offering?"

• Don't try stopping him with anything really. He may be the youngest but he definitely knows exactly what to do may there be a chance you try to run away or distance yourself from him.

• He'll follow you and cling to you just like Raph, except more cautious. He believes your touch is holy so holding your hand and grabbing onto you is quite the revelation for him.

• If he ever does confess, it's a rollercoaster, honestly.

• He feels self-conscious about him not being your equal (how he puts it as anyway) and hesitates before dramatically expressing his undying love.

• He'll kiss your hand and act like you found a cure to all cancer or something.

• "Oh baby you make me so happy! I can't even say how much I love you!"

• Nothing really changes, he'll be more physically affectionate, and may possibly commit arson every time someone gets a little too close.

• But no one could ever blame such an adorable guy like him right? As if he wouldn't commit murder if it weren't for the laws of society!

——————————————————

This is such a mess but I don’t really care because all I’m trying to do is haul myself out of this goddamn depressive state.

Yes it’s 1 AM and I’m about to pass out.

- Celina

[thewritetofreespeech]

Hi, how are you? I would like to propose a Buddha, Thor request with a reader who is the goddess of Slavic mythology, or rather winter and death. She is usually strong and formidable. Her image symbolizes the combination of birth, fertility and death. The Slavs were not afraid of her, but revered. It was believed that the goddess always observes and reminds of the incessant passage of time (I would like to see the development of relationships)

Well mark him down as scared & horny.

Buddha isn’t necessarily scared of death. He appreciates it as a process in the lifecycle, before reincarnation and our inevitable transition into Nirvana.

He hadn’t considered how powerful she’d be, or how beautiful.

His usual ‘chill guy’ tactics don’t work on her. She seems to not appreciate his go with the flow spirit or how happy go lucky he is. At first.

What she does seem to appreciate is his honesty, and love of humans.

Buddha has very little guile (except when it comes to the ‘higher ups’) so he’s transparent in what he wants and needs, which she would find very comforting.

Guessing games are not her stride.

She too loves humans, and takes her role in death very seriously to give everyone peace and comfort in their final moments. A respect for the race and their indomitable spirit is something they share.

Secretly loves the candies he give her.

Have a lot of opportunity to interact with one another, as they are gods on the same par and similar religions.

Norse and Slavic gods have quite a bit of cross over; most likely due to migration. So he is aware of the goddess of death before they even had their first conversation.

Which are not many.

Thor, as we all know, is not much of chatter. He’s the tall stoic type, which plays very well into Goddess-san’s aesthetic.

Their relationship is built on a lot of long, intimate, knowing silences. But also a great deal of respect.

They respect each other as old gods, their duties in the world, and each other as an individual. Thor appreciates her dedication to duty and she appreciates his devotion to honor.

Her beauty is something he enjoys, but it’s her formidableness that gets him going.

Being with a powerful woman is something he enjoys. He would never be with someone less than.

Try to make as much time for one another as possible, as quality time is their love language, but it is hard with their very busy schedule.