#but humans have religion to find comfort in a lot of the time

[postsfromthedark]

I can't remember- was Sophie's family religious? did they touch on that at all? like, Christian or jewish or Muslim doesn't matter - were they atheist? ik they were anti-vax, and anti-vaxxers tend to be religious or spiritual (not in a bad way, just tend to correlate).

i'd love for Sophie to talk about it - if she was or wasn't, or at least let her explain what religion is to a species that seems to have no concept of Gods - or death as a normal thing.

[rosesnbooks]

Astrology observations #4

🧡if your moon is in the same sign as someone's rising sign, this is visible at first meeting. you just feel a certain pull when you see them, and they stand out from others in the room

🧡i have noticed that capricorn moons and/or mercuries like dark humor, it's not for the sensitive ones. that's why they also appreciate shows like the office and seinfeld. not to mention their interest for darker shows in general. developed capricorns are funny, but underdeveloped ones hurt people with their mockery

🧡aquarius/11th house and gemini/3rd house placements love personality tests. curiosity and the desire to understand themselves is strong. the former also want to feel more connected to others because they often feel vastly different than the people around them...these tests help them connect. honorable mentions to pisces placements as well

🧡i have yet to meet someone with virgo placements who doesn't appreciate cleanliness and/or organization. funnily enough, not all of them actually follow these values themselves. they are also good with arts and crafts

🧡virgo moons and gemini moons both have issues with silencing their minds at times, but virgos are definitely stricter with themselves. both placements need to talk with their closest people to process their feelings. they just need to let it out somehow or else, they will feel overwhelmed

🧡water signs are connected to water obviously, but there is something about cancer placements and their love for the sea. it's adorable, and they find comfort in it

🧡i think it's true that opposites attract but i think that there needs to be one point where both sides can meet. for example, if you lack earth placements, you probably benefit from having an earth placement in your life but it works best if they share an element that you have. this way, they they can understand where you're coming from.

🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

🧡a person with scorpio mars cannot hide their intensity from everyone. especially when it comes to things/people that they deeply care about or things that fuel their rage. they can have the most sensitive and peaceful chart, but then that scorpio arrives and stirs the waters.

🧡mars in gemini can go through many difficult trials in life and adapt to anything. it's truly admirable

🧡moon in the 12th find comfort in spirtuality and/or religion. however, they need to be careful not to become fanatics and vulnerable to bad intentions from the people in these fields

🧡3rd house stelliums observe people a lot and, over time, learn how to read them very well

🧡i think parents can learn from their children as well and sometimes their chart confirms that. for example, a parent can have their north node in scorpio, and their kid ends up having one or several scorpio placements. it's up to the parent whether they'll learn from them or emphasize the differences between them

🧡jupiter in sagittarius/jupiter in the 9th house find tremendous joy in travelling. once they try it out, the urge to continue travelling is strong. staying put in one place too long is bad for their spirit

🧡i have noticed that those with earth venus (virgo, capricorn, taurus) don't rush into love as others. i think they just want to find the right person first. they're sensitive souls that want someone to trust and rely on

🧡people with north node in leo notice that they feel alive when they pursue different adventures and when they don't dim their light in front of others. they care a lot about the world and humanity, and they need to let others take care of them sometimes too

🧡it's not easy when your jupiter and saturn share the same house. i think it means you need to find balance somehow. for example, someone with jupiter in the 9th house can find happiness and luck in travel, spirituality, and having an optimistic and open-minded mindset. but also, they may fear pursuing these things either because it seems scary or because they experienced some setbacks in the past. moreover someone with jupiter and saturn in the 11th house has had meaningful friendships that brought them lots of luck, as well as some intense friendships that caused them a lot of pain

🧡pisces placements can adore libra placements because they want someone who'll give them a fair chance and some peace in their lives. pisces people are a bit weary of intense placements because they don't feel 100% safe with them, whereas libras are comforting. honorable mentions to taurus as well, since they can make pisces feel like they're at home with them

[moonastro]

PAC reading

first impression of you from your fs

left to right(top)-> 1,2

left to right(bottom)-> 3,4

°DO NOT take this as literal, take everything with a grain of salt as this is purely and intendedly for entertainment purposes.

°don't be afraid to give feedback and opinions about this post(as i would entirely appreciate it).

PILE 1-

-Okay so, first impression from your fs will definitely be raw feeling, perhaps something that they have never felt before.

-Their feelings will literally hypnotise them and make them act up-think of cupid (first thing that came up).

-I see them sticking to you, they can be staring at you and not taking their eyes off of you or it could be that they'll approach you and kind of follow you everywhere. also they can have a desirable intention to be with you or near you.

-They will physically want to leave whatever their doing and want to get to know you- lust kind of thing.

-They'll definitely resist the urge to talk to you at at first because they are afraid to mess things up and for you to get the wrong idea of them. aww😊

-Okay, so, i see them noticing your body first, i feel like maybe your outfit will be very fitting to your body shape or something like that but it will definitely catch your fs attention.

-They'll also notice your hair also. Your hair may be significant, they like it. (May be the first think that they will compliment about you).

-I see this happening somewhere dark- at night possibly.

-Something about the lips also, they'll be fascinated.

PILE 2-

-their first impression of you may be that they will find you hawttt.🔥🔥

-they'll think that you are an individual who knows what they want, when they want it and how they want it done.

-They will love how independent you are- you may meet when you are by yourself with no one.

-they have an opinion that you are a powerful human being. You may appear to have a lot of confidence in their eyes which they will admire very much.

-They will notice how intelligent and smart you are.

-your fs will want to figure you out as they may find you quite mysterious which will make them more attracted to you.

-There is going to be A LOT of passion coming from them.

-They may also feel very comfortable around you. you may remind them of a female figure in their life that they admire very much.

EXTRA- At the end of the reading i heard the lyrics "baby, I'm yourss". Take it as you may!!

PILE 3-

-oh boy there was a lot of cards that came out for you pile 3!!!

-Their first impression of you may be that they find you as a very stressed out human being. they may think that you have a lot of weight on your back.

-they may not particularly have an interest in you straight away and may even find you irritating- this interaction may happen at a stressful time for you.

-they may also think that you have no sense of surrounding so they may think that you are not interested in them.

-yeah, something about mental health here. they may think that you are struggling with mental health.

-i see a language/religion/ethnicity difference.

-This will definitely be a work colleague- you may start out as work friends.

-They may also think you are too insecure and can be shy. (some).

-overtime i see them getting to know you more clearly and then they'll start to develop feeling towards you. they'll start to find you very attractive.

PILE 4-

-if you felt drawn to pile 3, please check it out as you may find some information that resonates.

-I see them observing you from afar-they'll quietly look at you. kind of like a personal admirer.

-first thing that they will think of you is that you are too good for them so they will not have the courage to approach you. therefore, you may actually be the one to approach them.

-they will love your voice, you may be into singing/ are good at singing/like to sing. Even if you don't sing, they will love to hear you talk.

-they notice your eyes. this may resonate when you start talking. they may be good at eye contact so they'll hold eye contact every time they speak to you.

-deep down they may also think that you isolate yourself too much. this may be that you don't go out to nightclubs or don't go out much.

Thats itt!!🌻

i hope you enjoyed this reading.🪻

Don't be afraid to interact with this post and give feedback.🏵️

[temporarywelcome]

Night Shift - Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: You have done everything Spencer wanted for the Halloween season, now it's time for him to do what you want... which you both regret.

WARNINGS: swearing, brief suggestive implications (no smut)

A/N: today is the birthday of my pookie wookie James Patrick March so I won't sleep tonight writing a fic for him so look out for that!

________

“Why the hell are we doing this?”

She grinned in response, eyes on the road as she drove, “You got to choose all the fun Halloween activities, now it’s my turn,”

Spencer sighed, leaning against the window as he looked outside, out into the dark streets of Virginia, “And you have to choose the most childish thing?”

“Actually,” she replied, “I think watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving or whatever it’s called with zero children around is pretty childish,”

“It’s tradition!”

“Boooooring,” Y/N deadpanned, making him roll his eyes, “My ideas are more fun,”

“Two grown adults going to a graveyard in the middle of the night looking for ghosts? Fun? Ghosts don’t exist, Y/N. You know, there’s actually a lot of explanations as to why people think they see ghosts. There are psychological reasons such as pareidolia, and cognitive and confirmation bias. You could even think of the neurological explanations like-”

Y/N zoned out, nodding her head as her boyfriend spoke. She didn’t understand what he was saying half of the time, but she hated how so many people just shut him up. And so she forced herself back to listening to him and his yapping. “You’re so cute,” she said after a while, pinching his cheek, “My favorite yapper,” 

“Don’t interrupt me,” he grumbled, swatting her hand away. He went straight back to his blabbering and she just smiled. She was happy he was comfortable enough with her to call her out. Most people just cut him off and he would let it slide, not wanting to be a bother. But when it came to her… he could get cranky. 

Y/N laughed, pinching his cheek again, “We’re here anyway. C’mon,” 

Rolling his eyes, Spencer followed her out to the back of the car. She opened up the trunk, revealing the overabundance of “supplies” she gathered for this activity: flashlights, night goggles, crosses, even some small vials of holy water?

“You came prepared,” he mused, picking up a cross with a laugh. She knew he wasn’t religious in the slightest, and she herself wasn’t either, until ghosts were involved. 

“Don’t worry, I brought religious symbols from other religions as well,” she said, opening up another duffel bag, “We’re safe,”

“I feel so protected,” he said sarcastically, resting his head on her shoulder as she organized her materials. 

“Shut,” Y/N grunted, snapping the night vision goggles into place, “Oh hell yeah. We’re the real deal,”

“Do I have to put that on?”

“Yes,” she slipped the goggles onto his head, patting his hair, “Look at you. Ghost hunter in the making.”

“I probably look so stupid,”

“Nooooo,” she took out her little digital camera and snapped a photo of them together, “We look like hot, sexy, ghost hunters,”

Spencer gave her a look, “You’re insane,” 

“I love you too, babe,” she handed him a flashlight, for in case the goggles went out. She then handed him a camera, “We’re gonna catch some ghosts,”

“This is so embarrassing,” he groaned, allowing her to take his hand and drag him through the gate and into the cemetery. He was already looking around, on high alert.

“I like the spirit! Get it? Spirit?” Y/N snickered proudly.

“I’m not searching for ghosts, dummy, I’m searching for living humans that might lose their shit when they see us,” Spencer replied, “And that joke was terrible,”

“As if you could do better,” she huffed, turning on her camera and beginning to record. The cemetery was silent except for the rustle of leaves in the wind and their steps on the grass. 

After a few minutes, Spencer was already bored, “I don’t think we’re going to find any ghosts,”

“Shut,” Y/N took a deep breath, “If there are any spirits with us, please make yourselves known,”

“Y/N, you’re talking to yourself,”

“No, I’m not. I’m talking to the spirits,”

“There are no spirits,” 

“There so are,”

Spencer sighed, gazing around the cemetery in boredom, “Did you know that in the Arlington National Cemetery, about thirty funerals are conducted in a single day alone?”

“I did not,” Y/N replied, “Morbid. Fits the mood. However, I don’t even know where that place is,”

“Babe, we’re in it right now,”

“Oh,” 

“We’re in the largest cemetery in the United States,”

“Hell yeah, there’s gotta be ghosts here then,” Y/N grinned, “Turn your camera on,”

Spencer did as told, not bothering to argue with her. He watched as she continued to call for spirits, hands in the air dramatically. “Babe, all the camera is capturing is you being a fool,”

“When we catch a ghost on camera, we’ll see who the fool is,” Y/N looked at the graves, “There’s so many of them…”

“Lot of fallen soldiers,” Spencer agreed.

“...what?”

“Fallen soldiers,” he repeated, “These graves are for fallen soldiers, veterans, prisoners of war-”

“Holy shit, I feel like such an asshole.” 

“Mhm,” 

She glared at him, “Let’s get out of here,” Spencer shrugged, slipping his hand into hers as they began walking back towards the gate. “Can’t believe you let me waltz into a veteran memorial in search of ghosts,”

“I thought you at least knew where the hell you were,”

“No, I just looked up cemetery on Google and followed the GPS toward the nearest one, I didn’t even pay attention to the name,”

“Of course you didn’t,” he suddenly stopped in his tracks, Y/N skidding to a stop next to him.

“What is it- oh,” she saw the hooded figure as it disappeared in the shadows. Hooded figure. Disappearing into the shadows.

Hell no.

“What the hell was that,” Spencer said. It didn’t even sound like a question. “You saw that too, right?”

“Right,” her grip on his hand tightened, “C’mon,” she was ready to fucking go.

“I swear if a security guard catches an FBI agent ghost hunting with his girlfriend, I’m going to throw up,” Spencer said in worry, grip on her hand tightening as well. He continued to nervously look around, expecting a security guard to jump out and arrest them both.

“I’m less worried about security guards, more worried about demons,” Y/N whispered the last word, eyes widened almost comically. 

“How could you be more worried about what doesn’t even exist?”

“Just because you haven’t seen them doesn’t mean they don’t exist!”

“But there is no factual evidence to support their existence,”

They bickered on for a few minutes, until they heard the snap of a twigs. Spencer jumped, arms immediately going around her in fear, “Shit shit shit shit-”

“Shh!” Y/N pulled out a crucifix, waving it around wildly, “I’ll protect you!”

“With a freaking piece of wood?! Y/N, put that down!”  Spencer groaned, now more annoyed than scared. 

“I'm prepared,” she then pulled out some amulet with a hand symbol on it, waving the object around. 

Spencer rolled his eyes, no longer scared, “If ghosts were actually real I'm sure you'd be the reason we would die,”

“At least you're not scared anymore,”

“Because I'm flabbergasted,”

Another twig snapped and she raised the amulet again, “Show yourself, spirit!”

“I'm going to the car,” he deadpanned, until he saw it again. The shadowy figure. He squeaked, on instinct snatching the crucifix from her belt and pointing out, “Shit shit shit shit,”

“They're back is turned,” Y/N realized, “It doesn't see us… what is it doing?”

The dark figure was doing something, but it was too far for them to see. Y/N stepped closer and Spencer immediately gripped her wrist, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Investigating?” She stated the obvious.

“Okay but what if it's one of those demon devils you're so afraid of?”

She paused, biting her lip, “but I wanna know,”

“I swear if this shit was real you'd get us both killed- HOLY SHIT-” as soon as Spencer turned his head from her to the figure, it was right in front of him.

Well, he. An older white man with unsettling blue eyes and thinning salt and pepper hair, smile lines forming on his cheeks, grimace on his lips. 

Spencer and Y/N screamed. 

“You little shits!” The man barked out, “Get the hell out of here before I have you arrested-”

They were gone. They did not need to be told twice.

“I hate you!” Spencer hissed at his girlfriend as they sprinted out of the cemetery.

“We can have angry sex later, babe,” she replied dryly, pissing him off even more, “Missionary, so we could keep arguing,”

Spencer dived into the passenger seat of the car, “You're disgusting NOW DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE!”

“Shit, I'm going I'm going!” She exclaimed in response, starting the engine. She sped off, getting a glance at the pissed off look on his face, “Oh the angry sex is gonna be crazy,”

_____

Later that night, after that crazy fucking angry sex, Y/N let out a tired yawn, turning on the TV. Spencer was passed out next to her, so she kept the volume low as she flicked through the channels. 

She stopped on a random news station, leaning against the headboard and lazily bringing an arm around him as she watched the news story. 

Armed grave robber arrested at Arlington National Cemetery. That was the headline.

“Holy shit!” Y/N exclaimed, causing Spencer to snap up in alarm.

“What?! What happened?!” he said in worry, starting to scramble out of bed.

“Look!” she pointed at the news report, which was showing the mug shot of a familiar grumpy-looking older man.

“The guy from the cemetery…?” Spencer sunk down against the pillows, brows furrowed as he watched the screen, “He wasn’t a security guard?”

“I mean, he wasn’t dressed like one. We were just so panicked we didn’t even think about it.” 

“I suppose,” he started biting his nails in nervousness, “I swear if we get caught…”

“More angry sex?” she proposed. He glared at her. “Or not…”

[laundryandtaxes]

I think it's bizarre to believe that one approach to any problem (especially problems we know to be partly biologically mediated or constituted and partly socially mediated or constituted) is likely to universally fit every single person impacted by that problem. And I think there are many situations that have revealed that plenty of people really do prefer magical thinking and lack of any scientific knowledge if they are able to garner some hope from a perspective that is based entirely or mostly in magical thinking. I don't even think this is necessarily a problem, or at least a solvable one- it's essential, as I see it, to the continued existence of religion in humanity, which even I cannot claim has never done any good for any person or for people as a group. So long as this tendency doesn't win out on a large scale as a meaningful approach to problem solving, I don't exactly think it's a threat to humanity.

One of the most interesting examples to me, largely due to my work background and the prevalence of alcohol abuse within restaurant workers, is how absolutely vitroilic a lot of abstinence-only recovering alcoholics become when they make any contact at all with individuals who are trying to lower but not eliminate their alcohol consumption, especially in a systematic and controlled way. It is not just that they claim it is irresponsible to promote programs other than abstinence-only programs to active alcoholics (and even that I find nonsensical- less alcohol is almost always better than more alcohol, because we know for a fact that a lot of the negative health outcomes from alcoholism are a direct result of too much alcohol itself, regardless of whether it was consumed alone at night or while binge drinking at parties, which tells us that the obviously important social element itself does not mediate the biological damage) but that they often claim that it is universally the case that someone who finds themself problem drinking will only ever become more of a problem drinker until they quit entirely. The reason this is so especially striking to me is that it is so obviously and easily proven untrue by experiences which many people have outside of the bubble provided by abstinence programs. It is simply not the case that every individual who drinks more than they're comfortable with during a certain time period is destined to develop cirrhosis if they don't put down alcohol forever, and most people know several individuals whose alcohol use patterns obviously disprove that theory. Almost everyone who drinks knows someone who drank too much for their own personal comfort at one point and had to reel their consumption back in. But, of course, when most people know that someone is an alcoholic, they limit how often they talk about alcohol or their consumption of it out of respect or a desire not to trigger that person into craving alcohol, and the end result is that many alcoholics find themselves just totally cut themselves off from the alcohol use perspectives and experiences of anyone who isn't currently trying to be totally abstinent or doesn't believe that abstinence is the only way to deal with alcohol abuse. And I suspect this will only become more sparkly apparent as doctors begin to try, for instance, off label use of the GLP-1 agonists along with other medications to try to lower the desire for alcohol in patients, etc, or as more and more slightly science-backed but ultimately still pill mill or subscription peddler programs pop up aimed at helping people lower their alcohol consumption. I'm excited to see new perspectives become mainstream, and I think a lot of the pushback is quite literally an attempt to ostracize new perspectives by presenting them as irresponsible, cruel, dangerous, etc.

[lucent-roase]

okay watch me awkwardly explain an au or headcanon or something

here’s a small comic-y thing i wasn’t going to post but i haven’t posted any art for over a week i think

i never finished it but the idea was Hunter converting to paganism after all of his religious trauma because i’m pagan and want to project it onto someone

honestly for him it doesn’t really make sense because the isles now knows about the archivists and how they created that world but idk… but who the hell cares what makes sense???? Willow is also pagan here and she’s like “haha yeah i’ve been practicing ever since we went back to the Human Realm” and to me its real

they would either be Hellenic or Nordic polytheists, i don’t know much about Norse religion practices but i read a book about the mythology a long time ago and i’m sure Hunter would love it (plus, i mean, being polytheists they could worship anyone)

i’m sure finding out that the Titan wasn’t saying all that stuff to Belos would probably be crushing to hear. for Hunter, he had to realize that the Titan never had big plans for him, and Willow had to realize that she’d been blatantly lied to her whole life. especially in hellenic polytheism, people can communicate to their gods and deities and i’m guessing Hunter would find a lot of comfort in that. i bet Willow would like to have an outlet where she could just rant to someone finally without worry about what her friends would think.

[whereserpentswalk]

There's a spirit out there who will swap your mind with yourself from another universe. Now, this is a good deal, but there's a very specific circumstance where it can be done. You have to agree to do it, and your alternate self has to too, so you can't be too picky, and you have to take what you can get. And while you can make requests, you'll never fully know what's in store until you get there.

There was one girl who swapped with herself from a post apocalyptic world. She was craving adventure and her alternate self was craving comfort. It didn't go well. We don't know what happened to the version originally from our world, though it probably didn't go as well as she wanted. The version who came to our world didn't have things go very well for her, she started out being able to enjoy the mundane comforts of this world, but she wasn't able to finish college for obvious reasons, and didn't have any skills to find a job with or anything. She also had so much trauma from where she came from that she had a lot of trouble with people. Because most people don't know about spirits or other worlds they just assumed she had a mental break. Now she's just being taken care of by her other self's freinds and family.

There are some with happy endings. One person chose to swap with himself from a world where humans (or at least the main sentient race) had evolved from arachnids. A lot of people who followed what happened assumed things would go terribly wrong. But because of his personality he really enjoyed all the new sensations from having a body completely alien to his own, and we can assume the version from our world did as well. He's spent a long time logging how it feels to experience all the strange quirks and details of a human body, and how it contrasts with his old arachnid body. Apparently this is what he always wanted.

Another example of where things went terrible wrong was someone who came to this world from a world that was hundreds of years more technologically advanced. Their self on this world wanted more technology, they wanted less technology. The version who came to this world thought that their problems would be solved if they were able to live a simpler life, but it turns out they really weren't ready to live in a world without the luxuries they were used to. They became so constantly frustrated with what they aren't able to do now. They tried to explain to people the scientific discoveries from their time, but nobody ever understood, and they didn't remember enough to actually figure out anything useful.

There are some people who swap to universes with wildly different values. For example, a young woman who swapped to a universe where humans had removed their ability to have or want sex, and reproduced artificially. We don't know what things are like for the version who left our universe, but the version who entered our universe was disappointed. She didn't like all the new rules she had to follow surrounding how she acted, the fact that she had to always cover certain parts of her body, the fact that guys would hit on her in a creepy way, the fact that she couldn't call people pretty or touch them certain ways without there being social consequences. There was an entire new set of social conventions for her to learn and feel trapped by. She enjoyed sex, just not the way people acted around it.

There are people who go to other universes for more nefarious reasons. There was a devout catholic who chose to swap with himself from a universe with an entirely different religious history. The version who left our world tried to convert his new world to catholicism and likely failed. The version who came to our universe likewise tried to convert us to a religion nobody had ever heard of. Slowly he realized that nobody was going to convert and became incredibly desperate, growing more and more lonely until finally kind of just shutting down. And from the outside it just looked as if he had tried to start a cult and failed, but he didn't, he had an entire community that he lost.

So if you're ever looking to swap minds with your alternate self you can, just be warned.

[concreteangel92]

Thou Shalt Not Kill - Chapter 5

AU Noah Sebastian x female reader

18+

Summary: Reader is a detective and is assigned to a murder case which she soon connects with previous killings and figures out the religious affiliation, proving there is a new serial killer within the city. Reader soon becomes obsessed with the killers mind and methods and won’t rest until she figures out who the killer is. All while she gets used to working with her new partner on the case, detective Noah Davis.

Warnings: none really in this chapter other then the use of religion

Chapter Index Here

This chapter is slightly a filler but it’s also getting everything ready for the next one which is going to be long! A lot is a bout to happen haha so consider this the calm before the storm! I’m going to try and get chapter 6 out asap!

Tags: @Ima1986 @hayleylatour @reyadawn @thatchickwiththecamera @thefallennightmare @calleyx13 @english-fucker @darling-millicent-aubrey @malerieee @ithoughtbynowidfeelbetter @softvgold @lilhobgobbler @glccmreid @badomensls @madomens @loeytuan98 @iluvmewwwww75 @rosebushjhj @livingdeceasedgirl @lilrubles @samanthasgone @blackveilomens @hellayeahsword @lookwhatitcost @doomhands-jr @nojoyontheburn @poisongirl616 @bakanerd @sacredthefran

MASTERLIST

It had been a week since the last lot of killings.

And you were no closer to catching the killer than you were at the beginning. It was now starting to take its toll on you.

The sleepless nights due to your mind not being able to shut off or the nightmares of the cases that plagued you. You sat up for hours going over every photo, every detail, playing the killers messages again and again.

The messages had started to come here and there, from him, taunting you.

‘Come on detective Y/L/N, you can do better then this’

‘I expected so much better from you my little angel’

‘Only a handful left to go…’

Or your personal favourite….

‘We live in a world filled with lawlessness. In most societies, murder, theft, adultery, deceit and perversity are commonplace. Many, even in religious communities and among human behavioral specialists, scoff at the idea of moral absolutes that apply universally. One man's morality, it is believed, is another man's immorality. What seems unnatural and abnormal to one is considered perfectly normal and natural for another.’

It made your blood boil how he mocked you, how he somehow had your personal number and yet he couldn’t be traced.

The press were having a field day with this, it was front page news and everyone was talking about it. People were too frightened to go out after dark or walk alone because they were terrified that the ‘10 commandments killer’ would find them and use them in his next masterpiece.

“Masterpiece….thats pretty much how he views it….he’s the artist and those people the art….its sick but he’s definitely a perfectionist”

You rested your head into your hands, not ready to face the day but you knew you had no choice.

Noah had been by your side near enough the entire time, helping you go over the case, finding new leads, dealing with people when you didn’t have the energy. Noah had even been round your apartment a few times with food just to make sure you’re eating, all the while saying that ‘if anyone could crack this case then it would be you’

He was definitely becoming a comfort to you, helping take the pressure off. You had learnt a lot about him as well, about how he originally dreamed of being in a band and that he played the guitar, how he detests subway (you learnt that when you suggested it for lunch and it was very quickly shut down) how he’s an animal lover and plays video games in his spare time.

You couldn’t help but want to know more about him and you found his laugh completely infectious. But you knew you couldn’t allow yourself to be distracted by him, it wouldn’t help the case at all.

“Back to it girl….no more day dreaming”

You walked over to your team of officers and they all looked up ready for your instructions, you noticed Noah wasn’t present so assumed he was doing another job so you decided to carry on without him.

“Right, I know it’s been tough and we haven’t had a new lead, however I now believe it’s time to think outside the box.”

“Detective?” One of the officers had a confused look on his face.

“I’ve been thinking that we need to widen our search, who’s to say that the killings started in LA? For all we know, this guy could have moved around, killed before but has never been caught. I know it will take time but I need you all to be cross referencing all the recent and older cold cases from the last year or so, further back if necessary but we need to rule out that he’s not killed before.”

“But that could take weeks!”

You looked over at Eddie Blake, an officer about your age or slightly older, he’d been making it known to you all week that he wasn’t happy with all of your decisions, he’d make a comment here or there or simply contradict you in from of the other officers. It was getting very tiresome.

“Yes officer Blake, that’s why I’m asking now”

He didn’t look happy.

“Well wouldn’t our time be better spent trying to solve this case instead of wasting time looking around other states when you have no reason or lead other than a hunch?”

“You’ll do what I ask you to do, understood?” You couldn’t help but snap at Eddie, his constant attitude was grating on you.

You took in a deep breath and looked up to see your boss, sergeant Matthews standing in the doorway, he nodded his head to your office and you knew you were in for a stern word.

“I’m sorry, look I know this has been hard but I really do think we need to rule out all possibilities. So everyone please get to it, it will be tedious but it could pay off in the long run. As you were”

You walked off to your office where Matthews was waiting.

“I’m sorry sir, I shouldn’t have snapped at officer Blake like that”

“No you shouldn’t however I’m more concerned about you Y/L/N. No offence but you look like shit”

You let out a giggle at his bluntness.

“Thanks”

“I just mean that you look like you need a break, maybe this case is too much for you. I can have you signed off for a bit and let detective Davis take over for a whi…”

“NO!….I mean, no thank you sir, I’m perfectly fine, just need to lay off the coffee I imagine”

Sergeant Matthews gave you a look that clearly said he didn’t believe your words.

“Running yourself into the ground isn’t going to help anyone, certainly not the victims or their families. And a case like this, no one would judge you if it was becoming too much”

You sighed as you looked around the room.

“Sir I don’t deny that I could definitely use some more sleep but I promise, I’m fine to carry on, I need to carry on! I feel we are so close to a proper lead.”

“Alright. I’ll keep you on for now detective Y/L/N but one more incident and I’ll take you off the case”

With that sergeant Matthews left your office, you sat down at your desk and put your head into your hands, tears brimming in your eyes but you refused to let them fall.

Knock, knock

You looked up to see Noah stood there looking concerned.

“Are you ok?”

You nodded “yeah….no, not really. Sergeant Matthews thinks that I might need a break from the case…he wanted to remove me from it”

Noah came and sat next to you.

“Well then he’s stupid, no one would ever have connected half the leads together that you have, you’re the person thats actually found any answers and has the biggest chance of catching the sick fuck who’s doing this?”

You smiled at Noah, he always knew what to say to make you feel better.

“Thanks Noah, I’m sure that…”

“Don’t even try and say that someone else could be as good, because it’s simply not true, you’re the smartest person I’ve ever known…and the most beautiful”

You felt your cheeks go warm at Noah’s compliment, you stared into his brown eyes and smiled slightly.

“And you’re the biggest charmer I’ve ever known”

“It’s a gift”

You giggled and turned away to pick up some files, I need some of these copied, fancy a walk down the hall?”

Noah smiled and stood up “And they say this job isn’t exciting”

You both walked in a comfortable silence out of your office, you had definitely become more comfortable around Noah, you’d be lying if you said you wasn’t attracted to him, he was gorgeous, a blind man could see that, and the odd dream of him was still happening here and there. However you still refused to act on anything, you needed to stay focused.

As you went to turn a corner you suddenly heard Eddie Blake talking to someone.

“All I’m saying is that clearly detective Y/L/N isn’t up for the job, have you seen her recently? She looks like she’s not slept in weeks and isn’t making the right decisions. If I had her position, I’d be doing things so differently, maybe then we’d actually be getting somewhere in this case”

His voice got lower and lower to signify he was walking away with whoever he was talking to, the knot in stomach was very present and the anger was rising in your chest.

“Who the hell does he think he is? I’m going to go talk to him about respecting his superiors”

You grabbed onto Noah’s arm.

“No Noah it’s ok, let him go, he’s just jealous and mouthing off, he’s wanted my job for a while now and clearly doesn’t like how a woman got the position over him”

“Well maybe if he could actually put two brain cells together then he’d get the job”

••••••

Later that evening, after a fairly uneventful day, you found yourself sitting with Noah in your apartment, food long been eaten and you had a drink in your hands, a scene that felt very familiar but this time, you were definitely more relaxed.

“So tell me more about you Noah, what’s something that not many people know about?”

Noah laughed slightly.

“Well I doubt many at the office would know but I’m a pretty big anime fan”

You hadn’t missed that you were both sat close to each other again, this wasn’t unusual for you now, his presence was very comforting.

“Oh really? That your big secret eh?”

You laughed with him and took another slip of your drink.

“Oh I’m sure there are more things, I just can’t think of them at the moment”

“So what’s one of your favourite anime’s then?”

Noah sat back and had a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Got to be death note, it’s a classic and so good!”

You shook your head. “Nope, never heard of it”

Noah rested his arm across the back of the sofa and leaned back more while drinking from his own wine glass.

“Fancy giving it a go? It’s about a high school student who is able to kill anyone in the world with a notebook called the death note which belongs to a shinigami, a god of death. However Light only kills criminals as he believes they truly deserve it, all the while he is being hunted down by L the detective who’s incredibly intelligent. It’s a really good show”

You nodded.

“It does sound interesting, so Light is a bad guy then?”

“Well that’s the grey area, is he truly bad if he’s getting rid of the criminals or is he the hero?”

You shook your head and finished your second glass of wine.

“No one has the right to play god”

“Well how about I put it on and you can decide for yourself”

You smiled and refilled your glass.

“Sure, why not”

Noah found death note and got the first episode up, it certainly peaked your interest and had you making the odd comment here or there.

You felt yourself becoming even more relaxed as you watched the tv, your wine long forgotten about on the table and eventually you didn’t realise it, but you nodded off on Noah’s shoulder, the lack of sleep finally catching up to you.

Chapter 6

[waddleonmywaywardducks]

Practicing with adhd.... (A kinda long commentary on how to work with ADHD in your practice instead of against it)

(disclaimer: I'm making this post as someone who has a struggled with ADHD. In no way am I glorifying mental illness or symptoms of mental illness. This is just something I've dealt with all my life and i know other people have too. I'm just posting my own experience and advice. You do not have to use this at all.)

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was either 7 or 9 and have been struggling with it ever since, idk why I never grew out of it. Over the years of practicing, I've encountered a lot of practitioners with the same problem as me, only all of their advice was to try to get rid of ADHD has much as possible, well I tried that, I'm still the same. But that's just it, ADHD is apart of me, whether I like it or not. For years, I've always hated my ADHD, I constantly feel stupid, childish, and not responsible, but I am, I just need to work with my ADHD instead of around it. And that my friends is what Im going to teach you all here today, so grab a nice comfort TV show and a fidget bc your ADHD ass WILL READ THIS POST!!!!!!!!

My biggest problem with adhd and witchcraft

honest to the Gods, my biggest problem has got to be that witchcraft isnt dogmatic, you aren't going to get a rule book, there is no duality, you pick what's right from wrong, you make your practice your own. I had such a hard time figuring that out because I'm a very hands on learner. I grew up in a Christian household, most historical events that I wanted to research I could read in the Bible, or go to a church, or if I wanted to find community to help me figure out where to go well....it's basically all around me. But we don't have that with witchcraft. We only have ourselves (unless you were born into pagan/witchy family then lucky you I guess 😭😭). So obviously the only thing we can do is research.

"but omg chaos,,, I can't research I have executive dysfunction!"

I understand. Executive dysfunction is so weird why do humans have this??? Why was this built into my system??? Anyways, the best advice I can give you for executive dysfunction is that you can either go one of two ways:

1.) while you are laying in bed, cursing yourself to get up and do something. At least do something, but you just can't. That's ok. Dont beat yourself up about it, honestly the more you do that the more you're not going to want to do it. Allow yourself to be like this, allow yourself to just lay there. If you need to give offerings but you just can't get up, say sorry out loud, I always find that this brings me comfort and that my deities will know I'm truly sorry. Then forget about it, now it's time to allow yourself to just be. And then you wait until you find the strength to do it. That's it. Just be.

2.) you're laying in bed and you really need to give offerings to your deities. Get up. Just do it. Immediately once you have the thought in mind don't even think about it just do it. I know this doesn't work 100% of the time but it does for me. So 🤷

"how do I know if my practice is my own or if it's just a hyper-fixation?"

OK OK. I don't know anyone else who has this struggle but I have. When I started out, I was just a bright eyed kid filled with questions about the "unholy". I really started practicing when I was like 13-15. During these times, I didn't know how strong my hyper-fixation was with Greek mythology and religion until I fell out of that fixation. It was very disappointing to see myself gain so much momentum only to come crashing down. One thing that helped me decipher whether my practice was my own or not was simply asking questions to myself about my own beliefs and upg. If I couldn't answer these questions then I knew I wasn't really practicing I was just researching. Without my own experience, my own UPG, my spells weren't working correctly, and my rituals were failing. If there is no emotion behind it for me then the spell is just a bunch of herbs in a bottle.

"I struggle with grounding and meditation, how can I become better at that?"

Firstly, I need people to realize that I don't believe there is one right way to meditate. For me, starting out, I listened to guided meditations which helped me A LOT. Guided meditations I feel like are really slept on but I got a lot of communication done with my deties through this way, I met one of my guides this way bro. Another way you could do is laying down. As long as you are allowing yourself time to get into the meditative state, and if you can't, oh well, don't beat yourself up about, you can always try again.

"I have trouble remembering herb properties, correspondences, and holidays"

Write. Everything. down. Every spell you've ever created, every experience you have with your deties, every tarot card reading. Write it all down. Cross-research everything until something sticks. Give up the idea that grimoires need to look a certain way or give off a certain vibe. Just start writing shit down. In any book.

How I work with ADHD in my practice

Have you guys ever seen those post, I think they were floating around here around like 2019 or 2020?? They we're like "spells to get rid of ADHD" or "spells to get rid of depression" and shit like that. Yeah, I never understood those. I don't understand why we are treating these illnesses/disabilities like they are monsters?? I hate the ideology that all illnesses are bad, because yeah they impose a great risk to our health, but we can always look on the brighter side of things. My ADHD allows me to feel more deeply, because of this I feel connected to the gods always. My ADHD makes me passionate about my Interests in the gods, my ADHD can work with me.

Some ways I work with ADHD in my practice is by making a schedule and sticking to it but a bigger importance to that is recognizing when I need a break. During days that are dedicated to the gods, or holidays, I often times have a big thing planned that might take up a lot of energy. I allow myself breaks with things that aren't witchcraft related at all, then when I'm ready I pick it back up from where I left off.

I honestly think if you are reading this and you're like "yeah maybe I should start working with my ADHD instead of against it....but none of this stuff is hitting for me."

Then I advice you to look at your own symptoms and try to see if you can find any way you can work with yourself. For example, if one of my symptoms was that I was impulsive, one thing I would do is dedicate something impulsive to one of my gods. Like dying my hair, going out of town for the night, getting drunk on a Tuesday afternoon (keep it stable buddy.), who gives a fuck. You are using your symptoms in a way that works with it instead of against it.

In conclusion....

I've had this post in mind for a while I just never had the words for it until now, and I still don't even know if this makes sense😭😭 I just hope to help atleast someone (it's 3 am and I literally decided to write this like....20 minutes ago.) this post was also me bashing on people who think ADHD is "all bad." Anyways, if anyone has any other advice or suggestions on how to work with ADHD, please leave them in the comments! I would love to get as much advice from adhd practitioners as I can! Alright I'm going to sleep now

[albatris]

rentalcar update!

it's been a hot minute since I did one of these!

today's word count is 75,595...... uh oh! "but it was over 100k a few weeks ago, monday!" yes my process is mysterious and unknowable

today I got a lot of work done due to the being at my friend's house where we just sit around and vibe together. I'm really happy with my progress!

today's mood is a severe lack of sleep and today's jam is "little lies you're told" by joywave

taglist and today's excerpt under the cut! it's jumbly and unedited sowwy

She settled on the couch and immediately sprawled herself out, bringing her legs up onto the cushions and cuddling right up to him, her head nestling down on his shoulder. Nat’s heart pounded in his chest in a rhythm he was certain she could hear. Was she coming onto him? What was this? Why was she so close?

The movie seemed to be about a zombie invasion of a small town in Pennsylvania, but Nat was finding it hard to pay attention. Partially tiredness from his night of work and the emotional stress he was under. Partially his hyper-awareness of Ripley’s presence. The longer the movie wound on, though, and the longer Ripley stayed like that, leaning herself against him all cosy, the more Nat suspected that she was simply just more physically affectionate than he was. What had the care package said about vampires and physical contact? They liked it, right?

Did he like this?

Maybe she would think his pounding heart was just exhilaration from the jump-scares, from watching so many zombie heads get blown off, so many entrails get ripped out. The movie was exceptionally gory. He was—uncomfortable. But he was almost always uncomfortable. He found himself wishing he was home cuddling his cat instead, but he almost always wished he was home instead of out. Even when he was enjoying himself, he was never truly enjoying himself.

Did he like this?

Nat tried to untangle his emotions. Fear, shame, guilt, stress, paranoia—oh, there was relief here, too. Relief and affection. Small flutterings of it. Nat exhaled and tried to release all his tension. He did like this. He hated it, but he liked it.

“What—what’s that thing called?” he asked during one of the movie’s lulls in action. “That thing that gets all up in your brain. The Greeble. The Gerbil.”

Ripley wheezed, laughing. “The Garble?”

“That’s the bastard.”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Do you believe in it?”

“I don’t… not believe in it… I guess.” Ripley reached up to pat Nat’s face, ruffle his hair, playfully. “I mean, do I believe there’s something alive in vampire bodies? Like, wriggling around in the blood and stuff? Something that gives us our power and demands life force in return? Abso-fucking-lutely. Do I believe in—in some big spiritual vampire hivemind god that connects us all? Not really. I think it’s just—a way certain people have of wrapping their heads around the physical. It’s like a comforting delusion, maybe." She stopped for a breath. "Do you believe in the Garble?”

“I don’t know,” Nat said. “I haven’t decided yet. It talks to me. I can feel a presence sometimes. It could be something alive in me, like a parasite. Or it could be a big hivemind god.”

Ripley nodded thoughtfully.

“My friend Alex thinks it’s a spiritual thing, I think,” Nat said. “I wouldn’t call it a delusion exactly. I’ve been delusional. Religion is different.”

“Does your friend think it has, like, a purpose?” Ripley asked. “That’s what I always ask that trips people up. If it’s a religion, if it’s spiritual, what’s the point? What does it all mean? What’s the higher purpose?”

“I dunno. I’ll ask next time I see him, maybe.”

“Here’s a hint: there isn’t a higher purpose,” Ripley said. “It’s all just—just a fucked up medical condition.”

“If it’s a medical condition, why is no one working towards a cure?”

“You think vampires are running around offering themselves up for medical research? We’re not human anymore. If we told people what we really are, that we’re monsters, we’d get cut up into teeny tiny pieces by the government for sure.”

To emphasise Ripley’s point, the lead of the movie ran a chainsaw through a zombie’s decaying chest.

“Yeah,” Nat agreed. “Best not.”

@transmasc-wizard @saturn-iidae @polyaubergine @tracle0 @goosemixtapes @valence-positive @the-one-who-makes-negative-noise @ambiguousfiction @afoolandathief @silverwarewolf @mecharose @vellichor-virgo @plasticseaslug @jetstargenderfuckery @multi-lefaiye @writeouswriter @junoshusband @writing-is-a-martial-art @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @sleepycaprine @cream-and-tea @gailynovelry @lefttigerobservation @indecentpause @somealienquill @cannivalisms @violetfoxsketches @approximately20eggs @mohluskiepedard @desastreus @kk7-rbs @cee-grice @northwyrm @xylophonicsynapse @careful-pyromancer @recapitulation @incandescent-creativity @whole-buncha-snakess @mysticalalleycat @thatonecrowguy @va-nila-bean @televisionjester @excessive-vampires @walkman-cat

[bloopitynoot]

3 Shadowgast fics that made me ugly cry

Okay so I read a LOT of shadowgast fanfics and I wanted to share some of the ones that made me absolutely weep. (I was going to wait until tomorrow but I got too excited to share).

All of these have some intense emotional distress, but I promise you all they may be angsty but they absolutely have happy endings.

They are all set in very different AU's, are hefty completed fics, and have similar feels!

1. the breathe before the phrase

(171513 words) by @kmackatie Chapters: 20/20 Rating: Explicit Summary: The ringing note of a concert A is played by the oboe, echoing on its own in the space. It’s picked up by the wind section, followed rapidly by the brass, and the familiar feeling of an orchestra calibrating takes over Caleb. The tonal adjustments as each person brings their instrument into alignment sinks into him and something inside Caleb shifts in recognition as Essek leads the strings into their own tuning. It’s like something is waking up, like something unfurling and firing across long-unused paths of memory. His hands shake slightly, as he raises his bow and joins them, fingers fumbling against the pegs and fine tuners that give him control over his instrument. ---- Essek Thelyss is a leading violinist, his spot as Shadowhand of the Rosohna Philharmonic Orchestra has been uncontested for over a decade. Caleb Widogast is a recent arrival to the city, convinced by his friends to audition for one of the vacant violinist positions. After starting off on the wrong foot, Caleb and Essek get to slowly know each other, discover what brings them joy, create while defying expectations, and find out that what they can produce together may just be better than anything they can do separately.

Why I cried: The amount of pressure put on Essek made my heart absolutely shatter. That plus the pinning between Caleb and Essek had me weeping. The hurt/comfort energy. The bad parent Dierta and of course past Caleb Ickythong trauma healing. Other than the story itself Katie has put so much energy into explaining the music, the playlist is stunning, and the inspiration for the played pieces in the fic are grounded in actual compositions. No spoilers, but the ending is gorgeous <3

2.Till Human Voices Wake us

(66080 words) by @ariadne-mouse Chapters: 23/23 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Merman!Caleb, no Mighty Nein but otherwise canon setting/events, Neutral evil Essek, Essek-typical anxiety and fatalism, Loneliness, Hurt/Comfort, spooky gothic vibes, some horror and disturbing imagery, the ocean as a threat/love language, Illustrations, drowning themes Summary: Essek Thelyss, lonely and ambitious prodigy, comes to Nicodranas to make a risky gamble with the Assembly. At the water’s edge, he finds himself swept up in another dangerous entanglement he can't seem to escape — and as time goes on, he's less and less sure he wants to. Will his treasonous alliance or the sea itself devour him first? (Or, the one where Caleb is a merman.)

Why I cried: okay so look, this story was so fucking sad I can't even begin to describe it. The love and longing between the two, the tragic backstory for Caleb. Treason = death for Essek (it's a happy ending though so do not worry, but I definitely worried so you don't have to LOL). It also has some stunning art in it!!!

3. what luminous worlds await

what luminous worlds await (178674 words) by @essektheylyss Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Champion of the Luxon AU, Alternate Universe - Future, Space Opera, Religious Conflict, religious trauma, Violence, Minor Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Dreams vs. Reality, Demisexual Essek Thelyss, Past Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Fictional Religion & Theology, Implied/Referenced Sex, Mention of Using Sex as Self-Harm, several immortals grapple with loss while trying to save the world, so so many liberties taken with consecution, this wouldn't be a problem if you'd EXPLAIN matthew mercer, and/or if a certain drow would give literally any straight answers, (I mean he can't give straight answers when he's not straight), Background Fjorester (Past), Post-Canon, …very post-canon Summary: “You seek my nature. It is a lonely endeavor. Would you like to join me on this path?” “Yes.” — After a thousand years, a divine champion awakes in a lightless cave above Port Damali with little memory to speak of and a beacon in his hands. Even as he struggles to piece the past together and process what he has lost while he slept, the future demands he answer for the crimes of his elders. It offers little in return, but perhaps there are fragments of possibility awaiting him.

Why I cried: Omg oh boy, this one made me BIG cry- honestly one of my favourite fics I have read so far. A true space opera, a story of love, in many forms, over time, space, and multiple lives. I sobbed from chapter one literally until the end. Though I think you will need an A03 account to read this one, but it is worth the wait to set one up. My partner watched me cry so much while I read this. I totally did download and save this fic to send to pals so they can cry with me. It is worth the agony for this happy ending. I might still be crying LOL

[itaskz]

Random Himejima Gyomei headcanons

Although he is seen as an emotional person, it will be difficult for him to truly lower his barriers and allow you to do something for him beyond listening to his stories.

He would give up on his monk vows when joining the company, but he wouldn't think about having a romantic relationship, as he believes he intimidates people too much for them to approach him. Additionally, he has trained himself so much in detachment from lust and other feelings that he wouldn't even realize he wants a partner.

He belongs to Zen Buddhism or Mahayana Buddhism, both of which frequently practice meditation, but Mahayana Buddhism's philosophy focuses on guiding others toward an enlightened path.

He would confuse the feeling of being in love with the feeling of just loving human acts. He would spend a lot of time unable to tell if he cares for someone because they seem like a really nice person or because he has a more personal interest.

Although he is a very kind person, he is quite used to being alone, so if someone constantly wants to be with him, he wouldn't know exactly how to act.

He is used to having younger people around him, rarely interacting with older people. He feels more comfortable knowing he is responsible for others.

He goes along with other people's plans and rarely suggests doing something he enjoys, as he thinks others might find him boring.

He knows many admire him, and that sometimes makes him nervous, causing him to question whether he's acting appropriately. He has several thoughts rooted in his past as a monk, but he would try to adapt them if he sees that the people around him don't fully understand him.

Although he cries a lot and over "anything," he would remain stoic in truly difficult moments because he knows others rely on him.

He definitely wouldn't know how to react if someone suddenly asks him to talk about his religion. He is not used to people asking him about it; rather, they tend to ignore it, and he would have a hard time trying to explain himself.

Please be nice to me, I'm still learning how to use Tumblr and English it's not my first language. If you have any recommendations I'll be glad to read it.

[eatmeandbirthmeagain]

Hi there, sending you lots of love and good cheer, darling💕💕💕💕 Love your work, really respect your contribution to our favorite fandom!

I would love to see a work that reflects the friendship between Baldwin and Saladin, rulers from two different nations, cultures and religions, yet find common ground and maintain good relations. I have a rough, simple plot in my head: Baldwin visits Saladin, being his guest during one of the truces. The two, despite the war conflict, get along well and are friendly with each other. At one moment Saladin notices that Baldwin is getting sick due to a combination of heat and illness, and he immediately takes steps to help him by keeping him from fainting, offering him his bed, calling his doctors and offering him all sorts of comforts✨

That's it, I really like the idea of them acting like real men (and they really are), being very human and understanding, respecting each other and also not shy to show their softer side and support each other! I hope this description is enough to give you a rough idea of what I'd like to see! Thank you in advance🥰

I apologize if there are any mistakes, I'm writing through a translator✌️

♧ Old Friend - King Baldwin & Saladin ♧

♧ Angst ♧

A/N: Hey girl !!!! I was so exited to do this request, I love it so much and I really hope it came out how you wanted it to 😭🩷. I love your art so much and youre such an amazing friend, this is the least I can do 🫶. As always, this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figures. Enjoy!

PS: THIS IS NOT A SHIP FIC. Putting emphasis on that 😅

TW: Leprosy, Mentions of Fainting

It was late in the afternoon by the time Baldwin along with his party of royal officials and advisors arrived in Egypt.

As much as long travel weakened his already frail form, this journey was important. He along with his advisors would be guests at the Sultan’s palace for a few days while a treaty of peace was written to be signed by the two of them, putting an end to the conflict fought for hundreds of years.

Baldwin was in pain from the long, strenuous day spent on horseback. His body ached and the blazing sun left his heavily bandaged body overheated.

But there was much to be done before he could rest.

His mind had raced for the entire journey. As much as the young king kept up his usual calm temperament, he couldn't help but feel slightly nervous.

This was his first time speaking with Saladin since the Christian’s victory many years ago and he hoped that despite their past, they would find common ground.

As the palace came into view from a distance, the knot in Baldwin's throat tightened.

Saladin, along with his own advisors, greeted the group at the palace entrance, instructing his servants to help Baldwin down from his horse after noticing the young king’s slightly slumped over position.

Baldwin thanked them and straightened his posture, attempting to keep his professional appearance despite the pain he felt.

They said their greetings and entered the palace to begin the first day of affairs. For Baldwin, every step was agony. He felt dizzy and the bandages were too tight around his skin, but he had to keep his failing body upright.

“Just a few more hours,” he told himself as they entered the Great Hall.

As everybody took their assigned seats, Baldwin found himself seated next to Saladin. They spoke for a while as everyone else got settled. The young king's nerves calmed themselves as he and the sultan became acquainted, even agreeing to bury the past and look to the future.

As the meeting proceeded, Baldwin felt himself fading in and out of consciousness.

It was already dark outside and he assumed the meeting would go for far less time. Saladin noticed this and made a mental note to keep an eye on him, just in case his condition worsened.

Until one point, Baldwin could not keep himself upright anymore and felt himself falling to the side with nothing he could do about it.

A few of Saladin’s guards managed to catch him, helping his weak body back into the chair. As Baldwin came back into consciousness, he could barely make out what was happening.

Saladin ended the meeting and requested everyone to go to their respective chambers for a while before dinner was served.

He placed a hand on Baldwin’s shoulder, searching for his barely open eyes.

“I am very sorry about this my friend, I should have seen to your adequate care when you arrived”

“It's quite alright, I’m just tired..” the young king replied weakly.

“Come, I will show you to your quarters” the sultan said with a reassuring smile, gesturing for the guards to help Baldwin to his feet.

----------------------

Once inside, Saladin instructed the guards to fetch his private physicians immediately as Baldwin sat down on the large bed. He had regained a small amount of strength, just enough to hold himself upright at least.

“I can't thank you enough for your hospitality,” the young king said, his voice still raspy and faint.

“It is the least I can do, truely” Saladin replied as the physicians filed into the room.

They worked quickly to remove his old bandages, cleaning his wounds and covering them with new bandages as Baldwin lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling.

All the while, Saladin stood beside the closed door with his eyes fixed on the wooden floor to give the king some privacy while still ensuring he was alright.

Once the physicians left the room, the sultan approached Baldwin’s bedside. The young king now wore a white sleep robe, his mask was removed to reveal his bandaged face, framed by blonde curls.

Upon noticing his presence, Baldwin gave him a small, grateful smile.

“How are you feeling?” Saladin asked, taking a seat on the chair beside the bed.

“Much better now, thank you”, Baldwin replied with half lidded eyes.

Once again, the two got to talking well into the night.

“As much as I enjoy your company sultan, it is getting quite late” Baldwin said, covering a soft yawn with his bandaged hand.

“Yes I suppose it is. Would you like me to stay and watch over you? Just in case something happens” Saladin offered.

Baldwin smiled weakly, “I'd like that” he replied before letting his eyes fall shut.

The young king was fast asleep within minutes, leaving Saladin to watch over him. It was odd seeing him like this. A young man who was once his sworn enemy was now trusting him to watch over him while he slept.

Baldwin looked much different in sleep he had discovered. His face was softened, especially without the mask. The sultan had always seen the young king as a man, but in that moment he realized just how young he really was.

Only twenty years old and had already experienced such hardship. It was truly admirable.

While Saladin respected Baldwin as a king, he also felt compelled to look after him. Like an old friend from long ago.

He looked so peaceful like this, his fluttering eyelids closed with soft, slightly audible breaths escaping his parted lips.

Once he was sure that Baldwin was sleeping comfortably, Saladin stood and covered him with a blanket, tucking him in gently before deciding to sit back down and finally allowing his eyes to close.

He soon dozed off into a deep sleep, content with the knowledge that his guest and friend was alright. 

------------------------

The following morning, Baldwin woke first. His eyes opened slowly to reveal the dimly lit room. As everything came into view, he realized that he was not alone.

Saladin was still seated in the same place from the night before, exept only this time, he was sleeping soundly with his head propped up on his hand.

Gratitude swelled in Baldwin’s heart as he realized that his friend had remained true to his promise and stayed to watch over him.

Noticing that it was still early morning, the young king closed his eyes once more and allowed himself to drift off again with a small smile on his face in anticipation of the days to come

[forgot-how-catflap-works]

Hot take: Sisyphys got a sweet deal

We must imagine Sisyphus happy, according to existentialist philosopher Albert Camus. It’s one of his hottest and most widely known takes. The idea that when confronted with the meaninglessness of his existence, condemned for all eternity to push a boulder up a mountain only for it to roll back down, dear old Sisyphus may find contentment. What other choice does he have after all? 

(Showing my age here with the rage face meme and will not apologise #MillenialPride)

The assertion is that we mortals are faced with a similar conundrum. Life is unpredictable, chaotic, and frequently terrifying. With nothing but the infinite void to look forward to, how are we to spend our days? Either we embrace religion and pray for eternal salvation, skip the queue to the void by killing ourselves because it doesn’t make any difference in the end, or laugh at the absurdity of it all and find joy in the simple act of being here. It is up to us to create our own meaning. 

On my good days this notion provides me a lot of comfort, and links in nicely with the zen buddhist idea that this moment is the only thing we truly have. So the take home is to embrace it, and live fully for the moment. It’s all very Dead Poets Society or, if you’re like me and have never seen that film, the B plot in Season 1, Episode 3 of Community.  In the immortal words of Professor Whitman, “Seize the day Jeff, for real. Go running naked in a hailstorm, kiss a girl in the middle of the day, fly a kite but do it for yourself! Or you wot just fail my class, you’ll fail life.” 

On my bad days however, I’m just salty about it. Suddenly the pressure to create my own meaning in the limited time I have becomes crippling to the point of paralysis. Every moment not spent living my best life is a moment wasted. I move steadily towards the grave, the years ahead steadily becoming fewer than those behind. What have I achieved with these dwindling hours, these precious days in which I am burdened to create my own meaning? I’ll tell you what I’ve done; play RuneScape and be depressed.

The problem with transferring this thinking from Sisyphus to a human living under late stage capitalism in the 21st century, is that Sisyphys didn’t have to go to a fucking job everyday. All he had to do was push a boulder! All day! Piece of piss mate. 

What I wouldn’t give to just push a boulder all day. No laundry, no dishes, no reletenlessly targeted advertising and no more fucking work emails or meetings. I bet Sisyphys never once had a melon-related panic attack in the fruit aisle of Aldi. On top of that, pushing a massive boulder to the top of a mountain is an incredible workout. Right now I have to drive nearly 30 minutes to go and sweat in a leisure centre while strangers grunt in my periphery. Give me the boulder any day. I want that head empty, no thoughts, brain scampled egg life baby. Release me from the curse of my own self-awareness. 

Okay, I get it that Albert Camu grew up in poverty, survived tuberculosis, and lived through the Second World War. I readily admit that my “melon crisis” doesn’t stack up in comparison.  All I’m saying is, it’s pretty easy to imagine someone happy when they are free from the mountains of bullshit that besiege us every single day. I am completely overwhelmed by the mere act of existing under capitalism. The sheer number of decisions I have to make every single day just to get from one end to the next breaks my autistic brain. I can’t handle it, didn’t ask for it, and I certainly don’t want it. But surely we could do literally anything else? 

I know it’s sort of laughable to say, “Let’s all go back to a simple, agrarian existence where we live off the land and chill by a waterfall smoking phat blunts.” Like, obviously that sounds a thousand times better than what we’re doing now, but short of a catastrophic societal collapse and then thousands of years of recovery, that’s not going to happen. Did you know it (sort of) takes six months and over $1,500 dollars to make a single chicken sandwich from scratch? Sustaining a single human life requires an incredible amount of work. 

There are so many of us, and we’re so connected and interdependent on each other as a species. No organism on the planet comes close to what we have built for ourselves and it is an amazing feat by every conceivable metric. But what is it all for? Have we ever once as a civilisation stopped and asked ourselves why we’re doing any of this? 

For whatever reason, we are apparently limited in our conception of all that remains possible. A civilisation disjointed and misaligned, adrift on this rock hurtling through space at mind boggling speeds, confronted with the meaninglessness of it all and refusing to collectively acknowledge it for even a moment. 

It’s like we’re still locked in that primordial stage of evolution, where we must accrue resources to survive the harsh winter and outlive our rivals. When we predominantly existed as smaller bands or tribes, that made a lot of sense. But now we are a single connected superorganism, our sense of competition is squarely in opposition to our sense of collaboration. 

We broadly recognise the need to collaborate in tackling existential threats like climate change, yet our primal competitiveness sees us knee jerking our way back towards fascism. It’s like we’ve gone to the doctor about a backache and they prescribed a dozen hungry tigers to be administered immediately. We’re still acting as though there is not enough to go around, when there is in fact plenty; it has just been misallocated. I am left always wondering why? What do we have to gain from eating ourselves alive?

I cannot help but think it comes from a petulant refusal to collectively acknowledge the void. We struggle desperately for meaning, to leave a legacy, but forget that it is impossible. Even those who live on in infamy after their death will one day perish from the collective consciousness. Our sun will die, all heat will fade from the universe until it is nothing but a barren, lifeless waste. No tower you build or lineage you foster will outlast that. Yet we sit watching helplessly as oligarchs and plutocrats rail against their own mortality to catastrophic and destructive consequences for the rest of us. I suppose in the long run, that doesn’t really matter though does it? 

We have made a home for ourselves in the belly of a vast, insatiable beast. A beast so hungry for our blood and labour that it stifles anything that cannot be effectively comodified. How are we to find happiness and peace under such conditions? It is simply not a priority. 

To quote folk punk band AJJ: 

This is no exaggeration, we're living in a death machine

And no, it's not just your imagination

You've been living in a death machine

Some of us are passengers, and some of us are driving

Almost everybody's getting bled to death to keep the motor running

Sisyhus at least is free from its roiling guts, and in that freedom it is not difficult to imagine him happy. For the rest of us, it takes a little more effort and a lot more work. 

[internetgiraffekid1673]

It says in your little thing that your Mormon, are you still Mormon cuz respectfully I've heard a lot of shit about Mormons and how they are very transphobic and homophobic! So not trying to be rude just genuinely wondering if I read that wrong or something.

Hey! Yeah, I am a mormon, but I love all my queer siblings, including/especially my trans people. But it's a complicated religion and I have a complicated relationship with it, so I understand the confusion.

The short answer is that I was raised mormon, continue to find a lot of comfort and truth in SOME of their teachings, and I am perpetually very pissed with a lot of their other teachings, cuz yeah, a lot of them are Not Good. So I'm mormon and mad about it. It's kind of like. . .imagine if you were raised Catholic and only really have good memories of your Catholic community and find a lot of comfort in teachings about God's love, but you absolutely despise the administration of the Catholic church and like, everything they say about queer people. It's like that.

The long answer is this:

A) The mormons get a bad rap on the internet for stuff that isn't actually true. If you ever have a specific question, I am happy to answer to the best of my abilities.

B) Having said that, a lot of the teachings of the mormon church regarding queer people are really really bad and I do not support or encourage this even slightly. I myself am queer, and I have to put up with hearing all kinds of queerphobic shit from the church all the time. And I hate it and I speak against it whenever it is safe for me to do so. It just. All of it goes soooo against the other teachings of the church. I am not the only queer member. There is an entire community of us on tumblr over here. We all work and suffer through it together.

C) I still believe in the stuff that's at the fundamentals of the gospel though. Namely, God exists and he loves all of us unconditionally. He sent us to Earth so that we could learn and grow and become happier through our experiences here. Free agency/the ability to make independent choices is very VERY important to him. He sent Jesus Christ to suffer for our sins so that when we do fuck it up, we don't have to live with that guilt forever. Jesus also suffered for our pain and sorrow so that we didn't have to and can bring us healing. We're supposed to love our neighbors with our whole hearts.

I also believe that Joseph Smith did translate the Book of Mormon, although he was still a human being who made mistakes and I don't believe in a LOT of the stuff he said and did. I doubt you've read the Book of Mormon, but it's really just The Bible Extended Edition. There's a reason it's full name is The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. It covers what the hell was going on in the Americas during the biblical times.

I also believe that God has chosen prophets for our modern day to continue giving us revelation. I also believe those prophets are mostly crusty old men with outdated personal opinions that they mistake for revelation, that they fuck it up a lot, and I wish a lot of them would hurry up and die so I no longer have to listen to their bullshit.

D) Religion and faith are personal. I'm not here to convert anyone, especially other queer people. I continue practicing my religion because I have had literal years and some really amazing people to help me sort out what is good and bad and to figure out what parts of it are best for me as a person. I understand that what's best for some people is literally none of it, and I also understand that while some people could benefit from just doing what I do, that the way the church treats queer people (and also women sometimes) does more harm than the good parts help. So while I talk about my religion sometimes, it's always more about my personal relationship with it and never to try to convert people. I fully support ex-mormons who left the church, because sometimes the environment can be truly toxic and the religious trauma they have experienced is real.

E) The culture of the church and the actual doctrinal teachings of the church are two very different things. Utah mormon culture is also different than regular mormon culture. All of these things have good aspects to them, but church culture and Utah mormon culture also have a lot of really harmful things too, and these don't even have anything to do with the crusty old men being homophobic/transphobic. I am also mad about this, and I also complain about this fairly frequently.

I'm glad you asked because I understand that this stuff can be confusing. I think it's impossible to be any kind of religious queer person and not have a really complicated and deeply personal relationship with your religion.

I hope that answered your question, and I completely understand if this makes my blog feel like an unsafe space for you and you feel like you need to unfollow me. I do, however, tag every church related post I make, both with a religion cw and the tumblr mormon tag. Do what's best for you, and much love.

Also, unrelated, but I really appreciate all the posts you make and every time I see a little notification from you on one of my posts, it makes me so very happy.

[hyper-elastagirl]

Now that I've had some time to digest veilguard I gotta ask (and ramble about my quizzy below)

Like many of us, I have gotten extremely attached to my inquisitor (and her romanced option). She's been with me for 10 years! Adahlena Lavellan was the first oc of mine that I made and *stayed the same* and hasn't been drastically reworked as my interests evolved. She and my love of dragon age and our beloved egg headed apostate have been a solid presence in my life for 10 whole years. So I've had a lot of time to get to know her. I think our canon solavellan ending is sweet, like something out of mythology, but I'm not sure if Adah would be down for it?? Ramble below

Adahlena Lavellan dedicated her life pre-inquisition to mastering the art of the hunt and devoting herself to June. With a quick wit and nimble fingers from a young age, she excelled at archery and crafting tools and had a love for tinkering and dreaming of what technology was like in the age of the gods. After an unfortunate run in with Tevinter slavers as a youth, she became radicalized. Staunchly anti slavery (and anti human), she set her mind to improving upon existing tech and dreaming up new ways to keep her people safe. Needless to say she was not a happy camper in haven! Surrounded by humans (ew! Scary!) She was drawn to Solas as a friendly elven face. Her prejudice against humans slowly softened, but she was always drawn to Solas's witt and familiar comfort and loved picking his brain and asking questions.

She declined to have her vallaslin removed in Crestwood. Adah strongly believes that what is in the past is in the past and wears her shackle scars and injries from the slavers with pride. She is also still very attached to her clan and Dalish culture, their rejection would devastate her. Her refusal is based on the fact that they mean something else now, and she would not want to erase or tarnish a life's worth of positive memories.

Post trespasser, she disbands the inquisition and vows to try and change Solas's mind, and if that fails then to stop him. In between searching for him, Adah blows off steam taking out venatori slavers and befriends Fenris. They bond over relationship woes (a widower and divorcee) amd she promises to try and help find Hawke in the fade, as she feels horrible for leaving him there. (I think they should go on an eluvian hopping adventure together after meeting Rook and eventually rescue Hawke. And also Assan cuddles, everyone deserves Assan cuddles.).

She keeps a low profile. Still generally hesitant around humans, and hates the title "herald of andraste". The maker is not her god, the chant not her religion, none of it her culture. Sure, she's had good experieces, made lifelong friends, made world shattering discoveries, and enjoys exploring the world and learning all she can. But it's been 10 years and she is tired of the weight of it all and misses the early days in haven when it felt like a group of frieds against the world and she had an odd apostate to flirt with. Or the mindless comfort of her clan, daily hurts and tweaking her bow around a fire full of family.

So, the last two of her gods are felled and it's time to stop Solas once and for all, or die trying. He tries himself to the fade with blood magic resolves himself to keeping it intact. Canonically, a romanced Lavellan joins him and it is very sweet. But I'm not sure if that's Adahlena's vibe, you run into his arms and have a sweet fairytale ending (but yay for all of you who like it!)

I feel like she would be well within her right to not join Solas. 10 years is a really long time to be separated from a loved one, and Dread Wolf Solas is so different from the more wisdom-y Solas she knew and loved. Also, Varric :( I can imagine her instead spending the rest of her days tinkering with Bellara and the veil jumpers and exploring Arlathan.

If she did join him, it would be less for the sake of him and more for the sake of getting away from it all. In the prison there's no herald of andraste and the dread wolf, just Adahlena and Solas,normal people. I'm sure after a while with some funky ancient elven magic she could wander and learn from the ruins and tinkering and maybe even communicate with the world so she can keep in contact with her bestie Dorian. And for course, slowly fall back in love. This time with no secrets between them.

But idk, I still have a lot of thoughts to sort through. What about you guys how we feeling how would your Lavellan react if not 100% in line with canon? I'd love to hear