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soleilnewspaper · 8 months ago

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The epilogue

Series

Summary: Remus revels his secret to you, and is surprised when you accept him so blindly. Sirius and you find a way to make him know how loved he truly is.

Pairing: Poly!wolfstar x female reader

Warnings: Talks of bruises and injury, feeling inadequate (Remus), crying, comfort and fluff, suggestive themes.

Word count: 2.7k

AN: I have rewritten this so many times over the past week because I had no idea how to finish it. That and I’m still ill at the moment. Hopefully I managed to do it justice. Thank you. If you enjoy, please, like, comment and reblog.

Remus had come accustomed to the idea of being a werewolf. It was forced upon him after Fenrir Greyback took that choice away from the boy before he could even reach his fifth birthday.

This hospital ward is a chrysalis in the worst of ways. Remus usually a kind and beautiful person had been melted down to liquid and reformed into the butterfly, conscious and feeling the process at work.

Remus lies in the bleach tinctured ward on the crisp but thinning sheets. A curtain hangs limply on the chrome railing, looking like it's been washed a thousand times. With eyes on the polystyrene tiles avoiding your gaze. If he were to look into them, his heart would break into pieces without a moments breath. His chest begins to crack his spirt as it tightens into a knot like a cramp and a quiet fear builds inside.

Though the room is unfamiliar to you, in that hospital bed is a soul that has been woven into yours since the first time you laid eyes on him at Kings Cross Station all those years ago.

The look in your eyes broke him. Still, you required confirmation from him before going any further.

“Remus, you’re scaring me.” Your fingers found his as you sat down on the edge of the hospital bed. Blankets shifted underneath at your weight.

“Have you heard of a little thing called lycanthropy?”

The head nod with wide eyes that Remus received from you was enough confirmation to continue his explanation.

“When I was four, another werewolf, Fenrir Greyback, he, well..bit me. He was angry with my father about what he said about werewolves. So he used me to punish my father in his own twisted way.”

Most wizards and witch’s did not take well to his lycanthropy creating a constant fear in Remus since he was a little boy. His ma and da felt it. Sirius, James, Peter and Lily felt it. Now you did too.

“Every month when on the full moon, I leave to avoid hurting anyone and the boys come with me-“

“In their anigmus forms.”

“You knew?” Remus chocked out from his tired body.

“Only that they were anigmi, nothing of your condition. Regulus, Pandora and I caught on quickly. They weren’t exactly subtle.” You wiped a tear before it could fall from your face, offering Remus a smile as you spoke.

“You never cease to amaze me, angel.” Remus hand cupped your check and gently he used his figure to wipe your tears. You couldn’t believe he was comforting you when he was the one in pain.

“I understand if you decide you cannot be with me, anymore. Just please don’t punish Sirius for my condition.”

The words left his mouth and left a sting down your throat. You bartered your eyelashes a few times in confusion.

“Why would I do that?” You asked frowning your brows together as if it was merely a simple question.

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look of disbelief and confusion, more so Remus than Sirius. The werewolf had decided he didn’t wish to condemn you to this life but Sirius had told him his lycanthropy shouldn’t change a thing. He was more than happy to defend him if it did, but he didn’t needed to. Within moments you had accepted him as is.

“Will you do me one favour.” Your eyes met his honey brown ones, an unspoken message of love spoken between the two of you.

“Anything, dove.” Remus’s voice was gently but betrayed a hint of desperation that left you feeling uneasy.

“Let me come, next time.” Your voice held warmth and your eyes were practically begging and pleading for him to say yes.

The thin injured werewolf dropped his hand from your face immediately like a chain reaction. His gentle face was replaced with one of pure and utter horror. A sharp wine escaped him a mix of pain and horror.

“No, no, no, dovie, you can’t.”

“Animals are safe to werewolves, are they not?” You didn’t mean to smirk but you couldn’t help it.

“Yes, but you-“

“Are an anigmus.” You chuckled under your breath, your eyes griming with joy for the boys having not figured this out.

“Damn, you little minx.” Sirius said through a smirk which you could almost hear in his voice.

“More like an angel reincarnated.” Remus winced when he moved to kiss you so you quickly adjusted your position to make it more comfortable for him.

“Nothing could make me stop loving you, Remus John Lupin.”

“You’re mental, you know that.”

“Mm, but you that’s like em, don’t ye.” You smirked leaning against his side. Remus adjusted his position to wrap his arm around you so you could lay into him.

“That he does.” Sirius chimed in a sense of joy radiating through him for you accepting Remus. Though he would have given you a piece of his mind if you didn’t.

“Come here, love.” You held out your hand to Sirius urging him to join you and Remus’s cuddle. Which he was more than happy to oblige to.

The cold ant-sceptic smelling air could not resist to nip at your exposed skin. Remus pulled you closer to combat the cold. The werewolf sandwiched in between his two lovers. Both careful of his bruises and injuries which still made you cringe every time he winced. You couldn’t believe he had to do this every month, your heart broke for him.

You titled your head to rest it in the crock of Remus’s neck giving you ample opportunity to admire him. In those brown eyes was the warmth of an everlasting hearth, as if they were the wood that could burn with golden flame yet be forever perfectly entire. Just bright enough to shine in the shadows They are a million hues combined together, the word “brown” does not even begin to describe them. They are the forbidden forest and the changing of leaves with seasons, the soil in summer and after the rains. How could someone ever reduce something so spellbinding to one word, when the colours invite us to marvel in their simplicity. Rich brown coloured curls framed his sacred face, reminding you of the sandy beaches back home at your vacation home.

He was beautiful you had thought. Even with bruises littering his body in shades of blue and purple. He was the kind of beauty that expands a moment into a personal eternity, a heaven you wish to be a part of.

A shiver of golden light would race down your spine, every time, every time when you laid eyes on him.

The good werewolf was the protector, as were the angel witches, yet man could not tell the difference between them and the evil degenerates and chased them all from our lands. You could tell the difference and so could Sirius. If and when Remus doubted that fact, you would be there to remind him.

For the two of you could see the mighty goodness within him.

He was sure once he had recovered he would begin to feel the shame and horror of condemning you to such a life. To which you would most likely reassure and reassure him until he came to terms with the fact that you nor Sirius were going anywhere.

Your eyes met Sirius, and you ran your fingers through his. Taking the chance to admire your second boyfriend. The hair that fell from his head was woven from the black heavens, fine strands of spacetime and starlight. Flowing as sweetly as a poet's ink and quill. It contrasted beautifully against his pale skin. His grey eyes had a settling effect, reassuring in their reflectiveness. They were the shine of a star in the nighttime sky.

The pieces of your heart that had been struggling to fit into these world became so quiet when cuddling with your two favourite boys; it was as if they had found peace in you, as if they needed your glue to bridge their gaps and connect. That thought allowed you to pass into a peaceful sleep, while Sirius watched over your shared lover.

No relationship is without trial and error. You knew that better than anyone. Yet you had thought things would become easier between the three of you after learning Remus’s secret.

However, you could sense problems still existed in depths and crack of your relationship. The way Remus would coil occasionally at your touch, the way he isolated himself from you. He hated that not only had he condemned his parents, friends, and boyfriend to a life of misery but he had now done the same to you.

Lycanthropy took away his chance at happiness but it shouldn’t take away yours. Yet it hasn’t, he was the one who had ripped that away from you. You didn’t desveres to fall for a werewolf. Or rather he did not deserve the love and affection that you had offered him so blindly.

The sounds of the black lake evaded your senses as the three of you took in its haunting beauty. Behind you was the outline of the statue of Hogwarts Castle. Sirius had managed to convince you to come down here to entrust your help to reassure your werewolf boyfriend of your shared standpoint surrounding his condition.

The lake met the sun with such grace that day, as if the three of you were so enchanted by this eternal dance that you barely noticed the cold of late autumn England air.

From its core, the lake, reflected the blue sky as the most sincere of smiles. A smile which could only he bested by the beauty of your boys. Underneath you felt the green canvas of the floral flash-mob, or what you imagined a flash mob would look like you weren’t completely sure what it was to be certain.

Tall silken ribbons resembling the ones you wore in your hair sheltered earth and beetle same.

The grass on your soles is soft on soft, warm on warm, a gentle tickle as each giving wand forms a cushion of green.

The meadow surrounding the lake meandered in all ways that are soft to the breeze, the green flowing in bonny waves as any river would be proud to do. You were so enchanted by it you had almost forgotten your entire reason for coming down to this lake in the first place. Sirius had been the one to remind you when he had called Remus’s name.

“Moons, me and Y/N want to talk to you.” Sirius brushed the stray curls from Remus’s face as he spoke gently into his ear.

“What it is?” Remus hummed in response trying to act nonchalantly but you could tell he was anything but that.

“You do know we’re not going to leave you, right?” It was your turn to comfort him after he had done the same to on numerous occasions before.

“Course, I do.” The honey brown hues of his eyes seemed confused at your question.

“You sure, love?” Sirius leaned forward to tilt your shared boyfriend’s chin to face him completely.

Remus remained silent for a while scaring you both. When he did spoke it broke both of you with every syllable. “You shouldn’t have to live in misery because of me.”

“Moons, we chose this, you think I wanted to fall in love with my one of best friends and than the girl I practically hated.” Sirius chuckled in a low breath.

“And do you think I wanted to fall for my best friend’s brother who I pretended to hate, and his gorgeous boyfriend.” You leaned in to settle your face on Remus’s chest.

“What are you both trying to say?” The voice crack in his voice held a hint of desperation mixed with fear.

“You ain’t getting rid of us that easy, Rem.” Sirius smirked before beginning to attack Remus’s jawline with kisses.

“Not. A. Chance.” You chimed in, playing with the ends of his curls.

“But..why?” Remus asked as he sat up to lean his back against the tree.

“Bloody hell, because you’re you. Rem-I-well-we know that everything you have to offer outweighs your little flaw-your condition-whatever you want to call it. Dosen’t change anything, it didn’t when you told me-“

“And it hasn’t now that you have told me.” You finished for Sirius.

“Fuck, how I’d get so lucky?” Remus threw back his head in laughter mixed with love.

“Well, you’re gorgeous for one thing.” Sirius smirked leaning down to Remus’s chest.

“You can say that again.” You rested your head on top of his chest.

“Hey, hey, stop loving on me, dovie here is deprived.” Remus pulled Sirius off him gently. You blushed at his words, checks reddened in embarrassment.

“He does have a point, darling. Get over here.” Sirius smirked and pulled you to his side leaving Sirius in the middle of the three of you.

“Now that is hardly fair.” Remus chuckled.

“Patience is a virtue, Monny.” Sirius said through kisses to your lips.

“When I have ever been a patient man.”

There is a casual grace to the grass near the lake, as if it has a peripheral awareness of its own beauty yet would rather be at peace in this warm sun. That lake was a happy song, a poetry to eye and soul, bright in all the hues our Earth can dream of.

In his heart, Remus felt that he could survive anything if he felt loved, even these pains that come to explode within, these silent hand grenades. With kindness he could make it, as with compassion there is grace. For so long he had feared he would never be able to revive such a gift, but he was proved wrong by four Gryffindor boys and now again by you. Your smile was finer than any drug Madam Prompery could prescribe him. You were his medicine. The acceptance you offered was all he needed. As long as Sirius and you were there to remind him of that love, perphas maybe, he would keep his humanity. Be more than what he had been condemned to before even reaching school age.

The grass is taller than you had ever seen it, meadow-like but still green. All that's missing is the weeds that were so beautiful in the somerset fields. You looked forward to how it would look in the spring. The blue cornflowers, scarlet poppies, white asters and even the thistles. Next spring you hoped you would be able to scatter seeds in the newly softened soil with your boys by your side. This time next year the grass will be just as high, but a riot of colour in place of the uniform green – something to warm your soul as well as please the eye.

Nothing in your life could have prepared you for the whirlwind that came with falling in love for those two boys. No ballroom lesson, tutoring lesson with the finest teacher in the world, fencing, fine dining, conversation protocol, society rules, or anything your mother had told you. You had denied yourself of love for so long now, you had thought you were content without it.

Oh how you were wrong.

You couldn’t imagine why you had denied yourself this for so long. As Sirius made your giggles into fits of laughter when he picked you up while the both of you were knee deep in the lake. Remus watching the two of you from a distance, his black jeans scuffed by the wet grass. A camera around his neck, as he snuck pictures of the two of you when you weren’t watching.

The way your fingers found Remus’s beautiful brown curls as he made you giggle when gently placing kisses to your neck and down your jawline. Or when you had the privilege to watch the two boys cuddle up underneath a red plaid blanket because Sirius had shivered from the cold once he left the confines of the black lake.

The three of you sat there in late autumn, the grass moving in steady waves, those long heads of golden seed as calming as harbour waves. There was something about it, their movement synchronized yet independent, their hues so close yet unique. They danced in that way, came the song of crickets and the chirps of birds content to be warmed by gentle rays. You recall thinking of the days you had been so blessed just ti have made eye contact with one of your boys, and now, they were yours and you were theirs.

The feeling to the inner joy of anticipating the autumn colours. You love the reds and golds as much as anyone, yet the rich browns have a homely feel, something of the earth. You let your mind wonder when those changes will come, perhaps as early as next month or the one after. Then every day those changes bring an inner smile in rain and shine. Despite any doubt in your mind, this was the happiest you had ever felt.

No amount of pureblood society rules or lycanthropy stigma could ruin that for you. You were home.

They were your home.

Taglist: @maraudersforlife2005 @xlxnq @1-800-wh0re4reid @liviessun @ae3ther @de-duchess @wolf-phoenix-lover

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tarotnoob · 3 months ago

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What's happening for you in December 2024?

Randomly, doing a tarot reading. Probably should have done one before the election, huh? But actually, I went to Asia in October and that was after being extremely ill for like 2 and 1/2 weeks with an infection I'd never heard of.

Anyway, I wanted to do something fairly simple so this shouldn't necessarily be a collective reading [future me: JK I do have global predictions in here], but that tends to happen when I do these types of readings. Hopefully it will just apply to you individually and I will try to give as many specific examples of what to expect as I can.

Pick the pile or piles you feel most drawn to and scroll down. PS: apologies for typos as always. I voice to text and I'm too lazy to go back and edit.

Pile 1

Significant dates in December could be the 10th definitely, the 4th, or the 2nd. I think you can see what's happening based on the oracle cards... For December, it kind of reminds me of when you're using a navigation app and you suddenly find out that the way that it's taking you is a dead end and it has to reroute. Because I almost feel like that closed door is at the top of the escalator and then you reach the top and then you have to come right back down.

Or I also get the sense that maybe there was an opportunity or plans that end up getting canceled. It could be like a flight, it could be a party, it could be a job opportunity, it could be some type of obstacle that comes up in a relationship. I mean the literal way of looking at it if you want to go by the cards and what the circumstances could be. If you start with the ten of cups which is joyfulness and happiness or family and then it's followed by a ten of swords well it definitely feels like a period of happiness is probably coming to an end. I don't mean that in a like terrifying way. At least I don't think. I just feel like December for you if I'm honest and I want you to be prepared, you might have a lot of ups and downs. Clearly there are going to be some good times and then there are going to be some bad times and then there are going to be some more good times. And then you might be faced with a choice in which you have to figure out a different way of going about something.

Basically what I want to tell you is that for those of you who picked this pile, you might want to have a plan b for anything that you have coming up. It might even seem like everything is going to work out fine but then you get to the airport and at the last minute your flight is canceled. And it's like okay well what are you going to do now because you were trying to get home for the holidays. So are you going to get into your car and drive? Are you going to try to find another flight?

I mean if you are American, there's a good chance that you might feel a little depressed going into the next year. If you are American and not depressed knowing what I'm talking about, please unfollow.

But even after the ten of swords, we have the four of wands. So maybe it is a little bit of a tower moment that happens for you in that something that was working before is possibly coming to an end but with the four of wands, it might be that something else will come in that provides a stronger foundation. And I see you in the 2 of wands looking for that. An example would be let's say you want to quit a job. It was good for a while but it's sort of coming to an end where maybe you aren't learning anything anymore or it's getting tedious or something else is going on. And you start to think okay maybe I want to work abroad or maybe I want to do something completely different so you have this choice to make.

You might be looking for a different kind of happiness or you might even need to go on a vacation to think about things. Some of you might have had a relatively rough last few months of the year and so you need to do something fun? I sort of wonder if the four of wands represents New Year's. Not that it really matters. Plus people's New years are different

Other specifics or collective kind of readings. Again in terms of the collective, there could be some up and downs in terms of good news that happened throughout December. I do see people needing to go around to get the information that they want or to get where they need to go. It's almost like if anybody is trying to advance like in an upward trajectory whether it's career or seeking something, it looks like there will be blocked doors.

I have two cards that for me indicate family or the home. So some of you could be relocating or moving house. Some of you may be breaking up. Some of you may get not great news about a family member. But more than anything I just see annoyance at like a plan or event having to be canceled or rerouted. Like you were really excited to attend a concert or a party and at the last minute it gets canceled.

On a worldly level if we take it just a little bit dark, and you look at the word defenses and you look at this ten of swords and you have a castle and you have somebody who kind of almost looks like a general looking out at a globe, we might see some more conflict in terms of wars or discord among countries. I know that might seem obvious because it's always ongoing. Maybe serious enough to where there's some type of lockdown. Sometimes when I look at the escalator I get a bit of an ominous feeling. Like you go up the escalator but you don't really know where it's taking you. And then even when you get up there the door seems to be locked or guarded or blocked.

On a lighter note it could be about being blocked from your creativity or some type of blockage in the way of feeling happy or being happy or finding happiness. Some of you might be feeling a little depressed and you're looking for answers about how to be happy or what makes you happy or things you could do to be happy. Some of this might especially have to do with relationships or family. Because it's almost like if I was the ten of swords person and on either side of me I'm thinking and daydreaming about a fantasy life where I'm happy but in the meantime I'm pinned to the ground with like 10 swords and I just see darkness above me. And two of wands guy is also searching.

But what can I say other than December is just going to be up and down for you. You might feel guarded or you might be dealing with other people who are a bit tense and also guarded, especially if you are going home for the holidays and maybe you have negative interactions with family. But also you might have a little bit of fun with family.

We can talk about how you have two tens and 10 is the number of completion. But that just makes me think well the year is coming to an end. I do still think that an era of happiness is sort of like maybe coming to an end in some way whether it's like friendship or you're an American and you feel like dark days are coming again.

For those of you that do have to make an important decision by the end of the year, I do see you finding your answers that you need. Or being able to come to a decision.

Random but back to being collective, I do wonder if there are going to be some negative things happening toward the gay community or gay rights. That should be obvious but when you look at the little rainbow colors and the ten of cups and then you put it next to the ten of swords and then you have a card next to that that's usually indicative of marriage. You might see more states in the US voting on gay rights and gay marriage. And it could even be that the world will be watching these events as well maybe the US sort of falls apart in terms of its social and legal freedoms.

It's interesting Dad the mountains and the ten of swords are far away and then in the two of swords sorry two of wands, it's like you've moved past that moment and are now on the shore that you are longing for. So again since I misspoke, I think there's a decision to be made on maybe your perspective or attitude about how you are looking at something and then finding ways to change that perspective or to find different solutions. Just like how I was saying that you would have to reroute it might be that mentally or intellectually you have to change your perspective or else you're going to be stuck.

It definitely seems to be putting emphasis on finding what brings you Joy and not just yourself but maybe people around you or making sure that you surround yourself with people that make you feel good and happy. And if you don't have people like that then maybe the alternative is to just be by yourself if that's better.

And I do at least see a few people who are looking for love or wanting a family or wanting to start a relationship or to settle down in something like that that feels domestic and stable. But maybe it seems like it won't happen or it's far off. But again I think it comes back to perspective and okay well let's say you're only trying to find people through dating apps and that's not working well sounds like you might have to try a different way of finding people.

And the last thing I will say is that the escalator looks to me like it has stopped and the defenses card obviously also is about being stopped and the ten of swords is the most negative card here and that person is stuck. So I think if you are feeling stuck even though this is obvious advice, you're going to have to think about another way of doing something. If it's not working. Or if you aren't making any progress. And this doesn't indicate any particular choice one way or the other since it's the two of wands. That's just the part of the path where you are making a decision. So the answer right now is to find the path. And it's whatever path leads to you being unstuck.

But also in general also see some division around the world. I mean that's to be expected. Like factions being split in 2. More situations in which people are split into groups and separated and like pitted against each other or being on opposite sides of some issue. In conclusion basically I think we'll see an arise of global conflict as we enter the new year. More things on the news.

It could even be that people are forced to start paying attention more to what's happening on a global scale, watching more news, needing to be more educated about the things that are happening. Not just the US obviously but Africa, Middle East, Europe and the western part of Asia. All the bits you can see in the globe there.

There's an emphasis on water to me. This could be we might have more issues with contamination in the oceans, hurricanes, tsunamis, some issues being weird with the water or a focus on water.

The last thing I'll say is that I see an emphasis on blue and yellow in particular so maybe the confidence to speak out or say what you think or to speak as in to make decisions. Or have confidence in the way you're thinking. Confidence in the decisions that you're going to make.

There's definitely a sense of being planted firmly. So I think again maybe people having to choose sides and being firm in that.

Yeah I wonder if there's going to be some type of outbreak that happens through water. Like contaminated water or water shortages.

Or if not that then a particular country that is surrounded by water might be in the news in December. I'm feeling more like it's Europe though. Or like the Mediterranean. Like Greece or I don't know. But something curious that has to do with water around countries like that or even Spain or Portugal. I can't tell if it's good or bad I just feel very fixated on the idea of water. It doesn't feel like it has to do with weather though. But it feels weird. Like something incredible happening? In my mind I'm seeing like submarines emerging from water or maybe it's because I watched too much of this alien show and it kept talking about UFOs emerging from the water. But it's almost like this feeling of people being fascinated by this thing that's happening and then it turns out to be kind of like not good. But I don't know why I feel that way

Or maybe it's like a Titanic situation and people go on a cruise and some type of cruise ship accident happens and it's around Europe. Or like not the Olympics but like some major international event that's happening in Europe by water and something surprisingly catastrophic happens? I don't know why I feel that way. I hope that doesn't happen though. I don't think it's a why. A volcano?

An oil spill? Yeah I'm leaning more toward a situation like one of those and it maybe pollutes the air or the water. Like turns it black. And maybe it f**** up the water. An earthquake? Maybe it's like something like that happens and then for some reason you can't get resources to those people. Because like you can't fly through the air or you can't get through the water. I don't know if it's a military thing. I'm still just getting something more to do with the water but I guess even militaries could potentially like poise in the water or drop weapons and then that destroys the water or land or sky

Well that got pretty dark. But I feel so strongly that it has something to do with water or the sky and turning black and people potentially dying because of contamination or poison or toxins... sorry just keep in mind that's the collective part.

I probably should just do a separate reading on world predictions....

Pile 2

I wouldn't be surprised if some of you are drawn to both piles one and two. I kind of feel like they overlap a little bit. Hopefully I remember that there was a point when I was laying at the cards and I kept not being able to figure out which way the hanged man went.

My first impression was to say as advice for December to not consider shortcuts or cheating. Or be wary of people who are going to try to cheat you to get what they want. I almost feel like you will be at a point where you have to make a decision whether you want to do it the right way or you want to accomplish it through kind of nefarious methods. Granted that could be somebody else to be wary of. In particular they could be a Pisces or you could be a Pisces. Or maybe there is a particular planet in Pisces this December. The last pile I talked a lot about water in terms of a collective event but again I'm drawn to blues and water for this pile as well but I'm finding this more to be a theme related to emotions or even blocked creativity

I also feel like there's advice to block out people who are like that who are looking to start a fight with you. I see the two of swords as someone protecting themselves from the negative energy that's happening and the five of swords. And even with the hanged man I see like a sense of protecting your mind and your space. So I don't usually say things like this but I wonder if you should request protection from your guides or whomever or if you will be especially under protection this month. I also feel like you have a lot on your mind in terms of philosophically or creatively. But you have a lot of thoughts going on in December. It almost feels like a lot of contemplation in terms of trying to find peace? Like if your job is particularly stressful, consciously making effort to find ways to avoid that type of conflict. Like whether it's literally doing yoga or reading more or exercising

I should also say the dates of the 2nd, 5th, and 12th or 3rd could be significant.

It might be that you have a decision to make early on in the month and then there might be a little bit of conflict but by the mid part of the month I think it should be worked out relatively somewhat

I think you might be standing your ground more and having to introduce firm boundaries with people. Again I'm thinking about the defense card from pile one. You may find yourself getting into Petty arguments with people so you might need to find ways to avoid that or remove those people from your life.

To look at it less negatively per se, you might actually win out on some type of competition or project? That's not really what I'm seeing it as about but the five of swords doesn't always have to be the worst card, I mean it could be that there's a competition and you end up being the winner and you collect your reward.

But I don't really see that. I see the message as being to protect yourself from that type of energy whether it's you starting to feel angry or like you want to pick a fight or it's other people picking a fight, I'm seeing the hanged man and the two of swords are saying to relax and go with the flow and be more mindful.

It could be that some type of wisdom or information that you come across allows you to win over a certain circumstances or I guess I just feel like it's more use your best judgment or wisdom in a situation when you come across conflict. Like don't be rash to react, I'm getting you should think things through and don't rush it and really use your head the right way before you make any kinds of decisions. Especially ones that could hurt other people. But if you think it is the right decision, you should probably follow your gut

I wonder if you might have some restless dreams this month. Not nightmares exactly but fitful sleeping or when you dream come with the dreams are of like fighting with people or yeah maybe some bad dreams. Like with pile one though, there just seems to be a blockage...

And with that pile the advice was also to consider your perspective and changing it when you want to find the most amicable solution... The hanged man is about saying things from a different point of view. So I think there will be a lot of reflection on some type of conflict with friends or at a job or people in general.

It's interesting in two cards the figures are holding swords.

I suppose I should bring in the oracles. But integrity and play time was what made me think even when playing a game not cheating or not taking shortcuts. Or when engaged in a battle, not using cheap tactics to win.

This could also be an overall message of when you want to deliver a message. Like if you want to get your opinion across you can't do it by forcing it on anybody or making it seem like you are absolutely right and now I'm going to push this on you. It's almost like delivering a message in a kind and respectful way. That's not really something I can do well. Because often we have emotional reactions to situations and we go well you were wrong and I'm right. When sometimes it's about perspective. And if you really want to convince someone, that wouldn't really be the way to go about it

So I guess to be specific you might have an argument with somebody in December. And before the argument happens, I can put it in your head that before you take on that mentality that I'm right and you're wrong, to consider the other person's point of view even if they are like completely wrong by normal standards, if you really want to reach them, you're going to have to put a little bit more thought into how to communicate that. Like even if you are in a relationship now, and you have a fight with your so, and you start to think well I just want to be right I don't care, thinking about okay like how does your tone or how harsh you need to say that affect your partner

In that instance, there are ways of getting your point across that you don't have to be cruel and you don't have to make it into a competition if you really care about the person.

The hanged man makes me want to say maybe be a little bit more benevolent than you normally would. Even if the person is despicable. I think also maybe whatever is happening in Pisces in December will be affecting you creatively and in terms of your sleep again. Because with the two of swords and the hanged man I feel really drawn to that aspect of Pisces that has to do with like the sort of nether world. I don't mean like Scorpio, I mean that like 12 house stuff. So in conclusion you might be experiencing some spiritual conflict or philosophical conflicts in December related to conflicts with other people and their beliefs and you not having the same beliefs. I feel like you will have choices whether to stoop to their level or not and you should take the high road

But there are indications of somebody in the situation being Petty and cruel

I also see opportunities for creativity. This could be anything from going out with friends to try to make a candle or feeling like you want to write or paint

But mostly my advice is to for this month in particular for December is to act with a little bit more decorum and maturity than you normally would. If you're always like that then don't worry but I just feel like you get special bonus points if you act a little bit more mature than normal. Like if you go home and you fight with the siblings, you decide to be the mature one if a fight breaks out. Like leading by example is what I'm getting

You might do something at night time that is particularly fun. Like stargazing or a concert or doing something fun but it's night time. I also feel like in terms of when you will feel the most creative will be more at night time as well

Silly little things to say would be being around water will feel inspiring, listening to music, doing yoga and meditation will help a lot this month. I also feel called to tell you to consider taking vitamin c. Make sure you're getting enough sleep and as my friend would tell me drinking water. It just feels like a good time for you to detox. Emotionally and spiritually and even physically

For me in terms of colors there's an emphasis on blue and red with a little bit of green. So finding ways to feel stable, stabilizing the way that you think, which makes me think of meditation and you know maybe writing and journaling to organize your thoughts, this is what came to me just now is listening to the kind of music that stabilizes and connects your mind with your heart? Like whether you're working or exercising or doing something creative but listening to music, listen to music that fits your mood or what you're trying to accomplish. Or maybe I just need to say that music will be a great mood stabilizer for you this month

And again besides you being a Pisces, you might meet somebody this month that is a pisces or a Pisces will have a lot of influence on you this month

More than likely I see conflict with that person but still. But if you are feeling like you are spiraling in some way or stressed out, definitely turn to spiritual and creative practices as a way to stabilize and calm yourself or distract yourself. Because I do think that you might be attracting people who want to annoy you or pick little fights with you or they might be little tests to see if you'll react emotionally when everything in the cards is saying that this is a time to work on that and remain calm in those types of situations... and again really listening to your gut this month. Listen to your instincts when it comes to people or situations.

And also if there's high amounts of allergens or environmental irritants or pollution, wear a mask or don't go out. I don't know why for the first two piles I keep seeing like pollution as being a big deal whether it's the sky or water or something

There's lots of gray in the cards too which I'm not really sure what that means because none of the chakras are gray. But that color is coming in pretty strongly like a gray and silver. I don't know if that's supposed to represent smoke. Nothing really comes to mind for me when I think of gray or silver so I'm not sure how to read that....

It could also be that something significant is going to happen for you during Pisces season. I just get the distinct impression that there might be somebody who wants to or tries to take advantage of you and maybe they are a Pisces or this happens in the Pisces season so be especially vigilant and discerning between now and like March. And then to be even more specific, if you're traveling be mindful of pickpockets or making sure to lock your cars or your apartment when you leave and keeping a close watch on your valuables

I don't know, maybe watch out for people wearing yellow boots or shoes. And red tides...

Also I know you always hear this on YouTube but genuinely as I'm trying to think about why this creepy five of swords guy is looking at two of swords lady like this, you might have somebody who's kind of creepy and watching your social media. If it's an x or a weird jealous acquaintance or friend or frenemy. You might consider blocking them or turning your social media private. Because I do get the sense that for some of you, you're being watched and I feel like you need to be protected or you need to protect yourself a little bit, especially because they could be energy vampires or trying to send you negativity. So that's why I feel like you need to be especially spiritually and even physically vigilant this month. It's not like I'm saying I see impending doom

It's more I feel obligated to give out a warning to be especially vigilant toward people who would want to do you harm or cheap or like be a bully. But it reminds me of sword art online when you can put a tracer on people and keep track of what they're doing and where they are. There's just this feeling of something following you.

But on the other side of it it could also be something as simple as you being stuck on some type of fight that you had with somebody. Whether it's road rage or something somebody you know said that was kind of hurtful. But I talked a lot about negative stuff but keep in mind your Oracle cards indicate fun times and keeping your integrity and being a bit more creative this month and wanting to feel more in touch with your spiritual and creative side and finding outlets for that this month. That way you can tell the negative people to f*** off in a more spiritually progressive kind of way

Pile 3

This is the first pile to feel like it's really about the people in your life. But there are a few ways to read it. For example since we have perseverance here, it could be the expectation of receiving something from somebody. Page of pentacles indicates it's more likely to be physical or the physical manifestation of something. As in there's something that you have been wanting to give someone or I've been wanting to receive from someone for a long time and then receiving it. Of course it could also be about a communication or message regarding this as well. Something that you've been wanting to hear for a long time from somebody. The people involved could be somebody like the Queen of wands and somebody like the king of cups

So yes it could be a romantic message especially with a red rose involved. Obvious examples could be receiving an engagement ring or some type of token of affection from somebody. If the Queen of wands is giving it, it could even be something that she creates to give to the king of cups.

But I think also if the cards just represent aspects of your personality, it could be something that you yourself are creating or even saving for since we're likely talking about money or finances or again something physical. We have two of the more creative and sensitive Court cards, so it could be writing a book or making an album or whatever creating something physical that takes a bit of a creative and sensitive process. It would also be you taking the lead on it.

It also feels like there takes some time to create this and maybe even some difficulty or obstacles along the way in order to create it or establish this relationship. It could even be a romantic situation in which you have been waiting for a soulmate and you might hear from them this December or the chain of events leading to this meeting could start in December. If you already have an established relationship, something significant could happen in December or just something romantic.

Flowers in particular seem to be something happening here because I'm drawn to the sunflower on the queen and we have the rose. So it could be just somebody giving you flowers or something related to growing something. Or just something easy and romantic. It's just that this could stand in for so many things since it can be a physical object or sometimes when I read pentacles, it can be something that's been thought about for so long or talked about for so long that it becomes a physical element or a part of you. So for example like a commitment could be seen as a pentacle. So two people are talking about a relationship and taking it to the first level or the next level. So that pentacle can represent an offer of commitment.

Let's break it down to be a little bit more specific though. If we look at the order that the cards are in, it seems like the queen is offering something to the king but the king isn't looking. This could be that it's the queen that is the one who takes action first, it could be a sign that you are the Queen of wands, and if you have been waiting for a soulmate or something that the king facing away from the queen means that you haven't met this person yet. And sure you could meet them in December.

That could make sense as the queen here is known to be more bold. So I would guess that she's going to be the one that makes the first move. And just because I say she it doesn't really matter. This could be either person in this situation but they would represent those type of qualities of being more bold and outgoing. So it's almost like she is either making the first move by saying hey do you want to talk or hey I like you or she's bold in the way that she sends him a gift or some type of offering. This could be an example of how you even meet. Like let's say you go to a bar and you buy somebody a drink. In this scenario, you probably wouldn't know the king but you would be the one making the first move. There would be a conversation because pages have to do with communication.

If you aren't looking for something romantic, of course you could read this as platonic or even work related. Granted the rose in perseverance kind of throws that off but that could just be speaking about you...

At the most simple way of reading this, it could be words or some type of communication that's being exchanged by these two people. It could be a person who is quite bold and creative and confident and they decide to have a communication with somebody who is emotionally mature and a good listener. And maybe the conversation is somewhat serious and about some type of problem that you're having that requires strength or perseverance. Basically just saying maybe in December expect to have a somewhat deep and serious conversation with someone.

But what are my first impressions when I just look at the cards? Do I see it as kind of romantic? Yeah if not romantic then some type of long-standing affection or feelings. To me it feels like both an established relationship or something that will be coming. Because when I look at the perseverance I see this as either two people who have gone through a lot together and sharing some type of commitment and communication being a big factor of their relationship. And on the other hand I see the perseverance as someone who might be have been somebody who has waited a long time to have this conversation with this person or to find this person at all. Like it feels like celebrating an anniversary and exchanging gifts for that. Or talking about the relationship.

Again I see one person as being a bit more bold and extroverted and outgoing and the other person might be more calm and not necessarily quiet but probably the queen does most of the talking. Hence why it seems like she's the one approaching the king or talking to the king or giving something to the king. And maybe sometimes it seems like he's not listening but he definitely is.

Other things could just be some type of contract happening between two people. I mean this could be so many things like somebody taking out a loan, signing a lease, purchasing a house. What seems to be Central would be it's something that is investing a lot of time or has taken a fair amount of time. But whatever it is is a serious commitment. It may also involve something physical and financial. So that's why some of those things may come up as well.

Other simple things are just receiving a text, email, phone call from someone that you've known for a long time. It could be unexpected. It could be that you haven't heard from them for a while. But you do seem to have some type of communication or exchange of communication about something. Almost like getting together with an old friend and you start talking about old times. So that could be a situation you'd go home for the holidays or go on a trip or whatever and you run into somebody that you've known for a long time and you talk about the old times. But to me there's more an aspect here of two people talking or exchanging something that has taken time to cultivate or grow and having been through different challenges and struggles together maybe or the two people talking about similar challenges that they have faced. I mean this could literally just be somebody's therapy session as well. But I feel more like it's a struggle that both people have been through and have shared and them talking about it or discussing something related to it or are embarking on a situation in which commitment and finances are likely involved and also talking about those matters.

It could even be if you haven't met this person and you meet this person part of how you become closer or the things you talk about initially in the relationship or friendship have to do with challenges or struggles that you both have experienced in life and having one of those long deep conversations about it kind of like lost in translation. The movie. And again it doesn't have to be romantic if you don't want it to be, this could definitely be a good friend or somebody who becomes a good friend or a relative or even like a stranger you sit next to on the plane or train or bus and you end up having a long conversation throughout your flight or journey. But it's a nice shared moment with somebody. It feels a little bit vague so I probably should have pulled more cards to figure out who the people are but I don't think it really matters.

It can also be just somebody giving a gift to a friend who's having a hard time or for any other purpose possible. But it feels like it's the Queen of wands giving something to the king of cups, that has meaning and purpose and will be helpful toward him or acknowledges him or represents some type of affection so like giving a gift to a friend, giving a gift to a partner or a lover or someone you care about and thought goes into it and care goes into it and it seems to be a token of affection. Kind of unusual for the third pile as usually it's the second pile that has a bit of relationship vibes but this pretty clearly has to do with probably two people and any of the above types of interactions. It's not like a passionate love or romance that I'm feeling it's feeling more long-term or mature in affection. It's not a hookup.

#tarot reading #tarot #December 2024 #spirituality #predictions #pick a card

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taradactyls · 25 days ago

Text

Progress of Janeuary Prompts and Chapter 43 of Trying to Tread Water

*Edit*

8/02/25 Update

Chapter 43 of T3W: As of right now, it's at 8.2k words (almost all of that increase was done within the last few days) and I'm in the home stretch! Between the illness and general busyness it's taken longer than I wanted (and I forgot to post an update last week because of it) but all that's past now so I fully expect it to be posted next week.

I was hoping to get it up looong before Valentine's Day but I suppose there's something fitting about that seeing as it follows directly on from Chapter 42. They're almost part a and b of the same chapter, so it might be a good idea to reread (at least the ending) of it just before this next one comes out. I should also start seriously considering getting the 'what if was smut' and higher-rated bonus/extended scenes into an uploadable state but I won't really worry about that until at least this chapter goes up because my brain is noisy enough right now.

Janeuary: No major updates here, since everything has been jotting down notes and planning. I've also been persuaded, by popular demand, to give 'Dear Lady Catherine' two more chapters to show the crucial moments of how that story unfolds, so that's been added to the to-do list. Everything's going to be uploaded intermittently whenever I finish them even though Janeuary's technically over, since the event still allows late submissions and these little plot bunnies won't leave my head until they're typed out.

I hope you're all doing well and thank you for following up with me and being understanding! Hopefully I'll be giving you lots of goodies soon <3

24/01/25 Update

No real change from last week. I've been busy with the twins turning 3 (!!) and we currently all have a cold.

The Day 20 Janeuary prompt is probably closest to being posted, but when I finish it is heavily dependant on how fuzzy my head feels. Btw, I don't think any of the prompts will be done on the right day but they're all still going to be posted, regardless. I laugh in the face of due dates.

18/01/25 Update

Chapter 43 of T3W: I'm about 5k words in and it's going well. I might have to do some heavy rearranging of the second section depending on how the last goes but I don't think anything has to be scrapped so that word count should only be increasing.

Janeuary: Very behind but still working away (before anyone comes for me: I'm doing this during the times I can't work on T3W because I'm too tired or there's too many distractions and I have to keep pausing, etc. The proper fic requires significantly more brain power and care than quick one-shots).

Also:

I can only see one of these, so unless you sent me a Day 20 prompt about Kitty/Colonel Fitzwilliam (an update on that below) please resend your ask! I think the inbox ate some.

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Janeuary 2025 Prompts done so far:

Day 8: Cravat 'Elizabeth Overestimates her Ability to Tie a Cravat' - Rated G, 3k words, Elizabeth/Darcy, sweet, first kiss, post-canon.

Over the period of their engagement, Elizabeth and Mr Darcy take many long walks. During an unseasonably warm late October day, Mr Darcy loosens his cravat and removes his jacket. Elizabeth finds this a very educational experience. But when it comes time to put them back on, she cannot for the life of her figure out how to knot the cravat properly after insisting she do the honours.

“My dearest, and loveliest, Elizabeth,” he gently began. “You have no idea how to knot a cravat, do you?”

Also Day 8: Cravat 'Inappropriate Use of a Cravat'- Explicit, 6k words, Elizabeth/Darcy, author's first smut, the prompt was from the wildest ask I have ever received but I made it seem normal, smut, established relationship, post-canon, the cravat is part of the smut.

After an absence of some weeks, Mr Darcy and Elizabeth are very eager to be alone together and don’t even make it to the bedroom. As it’s been a while, Mr Darcy doesn’t think he’ll hold out very long if Elizabeth keeps lavishing attention down there – so she ties his cravat around the base of his shaft, to prevent an early end to their enjoyment.

Her surprised gasp was silenced by his lips, her own eagerly parting as she tangled her hands into his hair to keep his face pressed to hers. Pushing Mr Darcy against the wall – door – something, she melted against him, his hands digging into her waist, revelling in the taste and feel of her. “I missed you,” she said again, drawing back to kiss a line down his throat, “so much.��

Day 11: Card Playing Artwork- Which is the banner of...

'A Losing Hand' - Rated G, 2.9k words, Elizabeth/Darcy, canon compliant, falling in love and FIGHTING it, banter, awkward flirting, unrequited crush.

Mr Darcy is falling in love with Elizabeth Bennet, and he is not best pleased about it. His pov of that enlightening card game in Chapter 8 of Pride and Prejudice when they discuss accomplished women.

Darcy could only look at her – the light challenge in her gaze, the slight smile that accompanied it. He could debate with her all day.

Day 16: Gossip 'Dear Lady Catherine' - Rated G, 4.2k words, Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy, Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley, Canon divergence, Lady Catherine is in peak form, and facing someone who's allowed to argue back, Character development, Speedrunning Darcy's realisations, Self-reflection

Following the Netherfield Ball, Mr Collins happily gossips in a letter to Lady Catherine that her that her nephew may be on the verge of matrimony… to Miss Bingley. He overheard his cousins talking of the lady’s attentions and quite misconstrued everything. Lady Catherine, as incensed as she could ever be, goes to confront her nephew in London… and arrives in the middle of the ‘Why You Should Not Marry Jane Bennet’ intervention.

Yelling ensues. And maybe more than one instance of self-reflection.

In which Mr Collins has the sacred duty of sharing gossip he wasn’t supposed to know; Lady Catherine is of infinite use, which ought to make her happy, for she loves to be of use; Miss Bingley learns what all her attempts to secure Mr Darcy’s affections have amounted to; and Mr Darcy himself is full of pride and confronted with his hypocrisy.

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Janeuary Prompts in progress/ideas:

Day 13: Christian Name - A few people wondered what Darcy was really thinking in Chapter 42 of T3W when he was talking about how he imaged Elizabeth calling him Fitzwilliam:

“How did you imagine it?” she enquired with a frown. Mr Darcy blushed a deep crimson. “Mostly, mere casual use.”

And I thought that made a great prompt for trying my hand at some more smut.

Day 20: Dearest - An anon sent a prompt for some Kitty/Colonel Fitzwilliam Fluff, and since I've never considered them before it was a fun exercise to think about how that would work! I started a draft of it as I worked out some ideas so this will definitely be happening.

Day 27: Cousins - Toying with the idea of doing a sweet glimpse of 5 or so years into the future, featuring little Bingleys and Darcys. Not sure if that's something anyone's interested in though.

Day 29: Carriage - A missing scene from Pride and Prejudice featuring Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam

Day 30: Garden - Another Pride and Prejudice missing scene with Darcy's pov of something Elizabeth mentions in passing.

#turns out when I'm not worrying about story and character arcs and keeping consistent tone and narrative purpose etc etc #I write like a mad thing #I've written over 22k words (not including what's been deleted) in under two weeks #I turn off my brain and just let the movie in my head run as I desperately try to type fast enough to keep up #have I sometimes been too inspired and forgotten to sleep at a reasonable time?#MAYBE #but it's great to be doing little things that I don't have to think too deeply about and replenish my creativity #fanfiction #ao3

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casualpersonapersonpeach · 1 year ago

Note

Can we have where The Slasher's S/O had Chemotherapy, and are now becoming bald because of it. (Either the S/O explains about the effects of chemotherapy or that they're depressed because of their hair loss, it's up to you). [Include Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, and a character of your choice; probably The Silent Brother from my previous request ;) whoever you want]

Hello ! Of course. TW to anybody reading. If anybody is going through this right now, I hope that you know you are so loved and if you need to reach out I'm always here 💗💗💗 also apologies for how long this took to write. Hopefully you like this 😭

warnings 18+: slightly suggestive in Thomas' one

Slashers with an s/o going through Chemotherapy

(Includes Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer)

Jason Voorhees

Because Jason lives a very sheltered life, he doesn't know much about illnesses and treatments. You may have to explain it to him and how the process works.

It would break his heart. He hardly knows what to say or do initially. He's in shock. He noticed some clumps of hair on the pillow cases every now and then, but he wasn't sure what to make of it. He didn't want to bring it up because it may upset you.

It makes sense to him now. He offers to shave the rest of your hair if you find that easier. Jason is just worried about you. "Are you going to be okay? What can I do to help you? I have no idea what I can do" he panics to himself. He's trying to be strong for you.

Jason worries how you are going to feel about yourself as well. He's bald too but for different reasons, and he knows what it's like to be bullied for things you can't help, and hating himself in the mirror. He's going to do everything he can to let you know how beautiful you are. He wants your confidence to be unshakable, even though that's hard. You don't deserve to go through such a thing. And you definitely don't deserve to feel anything less than beautiful.

He just cuddles you a little bit tighter, kisses you a little longer to try reinforce to you he's always going to be there for you and get through this with you. He writes down a note for you for when you wake up the next morning.

" My darling Y/n. I'm sorry that I should have taken more initiative for you and been stronger for you. I shouldn't have said nothing. I'll do anything i can to help you my beautiful angel. You are my entire world, and nothing is going to change that, and you'll always be the most beautiful person to me. " - Jason.

Jason decides to devote himself to nursing you, driving you to appointments (while in disguise), making safe food for you, helping you when you need to vomit etc. He is on high alert mode to protecting you in his little shack from any dangers.

Michael Myers

Michael is less delicate about the situation. He just holds up a clump of hair and looks confused while looking at you. He didn't mean to look like an asshole, he just didn't know it was something he needed to be sensitive about. Your eyes started to water, and quickly you walked off to your shared bed to sleep.

Michael had noticed you hadn't seemed your normal self for a few weeks now. You hardly spoke to him, you were gone for hours randomly, and when you were home, you just slept and looked depressed.

He didn't really know how to bring it up though, michaels just not good at beating around the bush, per say. He's just direct which can feel really cold.

Michael finally walked into your room to check on you. He normally liked to wait for you to bring up what's bothering you, but he figured that it clearly wasn't working lately. He needed to do more. He sits next to you and gently places his hand on your shoulder.

He hardly talks, but when he does it's short and direct. "What's wrong?" He quietly muffs under his mask.

It took you a moment to work up the courage to explain. You explain that in the last month you've been getting chemotherapy and have been starting to lose you hair. He then understood why you were always so tired, nauseated, and so unlike yourself.

"I just didn't want to tell you" you say under your breath. "I could hardly believe that this was happening to me. I just feel so down about losing my hair too. I hardly feel like myself anymore. It's like i can't recognise myself".

Michael just sits in silence. " I didn't want you to feel ashamed of me..." Michael quickly wraps you in his arms. Holding you tighter than he would have ever done. "Never. I will never be ashamed." He grunts. It kind of sounds like he's crying a little too, but he'd never let you see that.

Somewhere deep down Michael has a heart. Maybe just for you though. It crushes him that you are already going through something so cruel and life threatening. And how you are worrying instead if he'd still find you attractive. He wants you to know he would never find you unattractive NO MATTER WHAT.

When you feel a wave of nausea overcome you, Michael is quick to notice, and sweeps you quickly in his arms and holds you whole you vomit into the toilet.

Michael made a silent vow to himself. One being he'd help you get through this. The second being, if he had to go find Rapunzel herself and chop off her hair to get you some, just so you can feel a little bit better during this time, he won't waste a minute. He'd do it in a heartbeat for you.

He kisses your head and helps you settle into bed. He's already making a plan...

Thomas Hewitt

Being in the middle of nowhere meant that there was no way to hide your illness. Usually mama Luda Mae or Thomas would drive you to the closest hospital to receive treatment.

Tommy didn't really go out in public, he didn't want to make this about himself, his fear of being seen was nothing compared to the trial that you were going through.

None of the Hewitt's really knew much about medicine, side effects and so on. Sometimes the uncle's would make insensitive comments to you, but tommy and Luda Mae never let that slide.

Shortly you began to lose your hair. Sometimes Uncle monty would make a sly remark that " you were balding quicker than he was ". It drove Thomas mad, and he actually stood up to him. Thomas grabbed him by his shoulders and slammed him against the wall and gave him such an intense death stare.

For Thomas it was a big deal standing up to his family. But you mean more to him. He wishes he could afford to get you out of this place. Once his family was his safe place, but ever since you came into the picture, he noticed how poorly the uncles treated you. From then on he always dreamed of getting away with you.

You are his sanctuary. No matter how ill you are. Thomas didn't really understand the science behind the hair loss, but he did notice how unhappy you seemed. You hardly looked at him, you were no longer physically intimate with him (due to health risks for immunity, but also depression and poor body image), you also withdrew any kind of innocent affection.

It wasn't intentional- or against Thomas. You have been so unwell, and on chemo so you wouldn't have been intimate even if you felt good about yourself or wanted to. But it was so easy to spiral into a deep depression because you could hardly recognise yourself.

You became so self hating, even though none of this was your fault. Hair is such an important part of identity and it's hard losing something you're so used to and treasure. You worried you wouldn't be beautiful to Thomas, and above all, you were worried that you were 'useless' or 'a burden' that the uncle's had convinced you that you were.

You are unable to work, which meant having to rest all day. You are too unwell to help around the house, and money is tight as it is. Thomas eventually noticed this and wanted to talk to you about it.

One night before you and Thomas got ready for bed, he decided he would ask you what was wrong. He had been afraid of bothering you this whole time. He quietly asked "why do you hardly look at me anymore? Is everything ok?"

It didn't take long for your eyes to being to tear up. And after a few minutes, you finally mustered up the courage to tell him why you're upset. "I just hate how I look at the moment. I'm so scared you won't find me beautiful anymore so I didn't want to try. I'm sorry for making you worry".

"You could never be ugly to me my darling... You're just as beautiful as the day I first saw you. The day my life changed forever. I promise I'm going to look after you and only when you're ready and wanting to, we can get back to that".

"One day, i hope to get you out of this hellhole. For better or for worse, I want to look after you as long as we live.... Y/n... Would you marry me?" Thomas softly asked. He definitely intended on proposing on a happier day, and to plan it out. But for him the timing felt right, when you two finally felt like you were connecting again after a while.

"... Really? You'd want to marry me, even like this?" You replied. "Yes." "Yes Tommy! I'll marry you!". You jumped into his arms, and he held you tighter than he ever had before.

You both longed for a life far away together, to get married, to raise your own children together. But for now, Tommy will nurse you back to health.

Bubba Sawyer

Even though Bubba couldn't speak comprehensible sentences, he still communicated and you understood him like no other. Again, living out far away meant you had to be honest about how unwell you had been feeling, so reluctantly Drayton took you to the doctors, and from there you got your diagnosis and eventually treatments.

Bubba is incredibly intuitive and immediately knows when something is wrong, so when you begin to lose your hair and feel drained, he is quick to communicate with you.

He mostly blubbers, but he can sort of write. He does misspell some words, and doesn't have the best handwriting, but his brothers taught him as much as they could about writing.

"ar yu pheelin ok?" Even in your darkest moods, seeing Bubba's writing makes you giggle because it's sweet to know he's trying. "Bubba have you not noticed my hair missing or that i look any different?" You asked. You assumed he was going to make a comment about that. Not that it was in his nature to do so, you were just feeling insecure.

"Drayton tould me sum stuff about yur treetment. I thought it wuz that." He hastily wrote. "Well, I haven't been feeling the best physically of course. But emotionally too. I mean, i knew that the chemo would be hard on me, but i didn't expect to feel sensitive i guess? Im just not happy when i look in the mirror." You covered your face with your hands, crying.

Bubba jumped immediately to your side holding you. He was making all sorts of sounds to console you. Once he felt you beginning to calm down, he signed with his hand, holding up 1 finger to say give him a moment. He began to write again.

He had an undefeated smile on his face. Bubba was coming up with a plan to make you feel better. "Butt yur always beautiful to me. yu look good no mater wat. My brutha is bald as a pluked turkey ona thanksgivin.... I hav a litle surprise for yu. Close yur eies darlin".

It momentarily made you feel a bit better. You did chuckle a little that chop top had a metal plate on his head too, and he definitely hadn't lost any confidence on his part.

You hear nubbins, bubba and chop top giggling upstairs. Soon enough bubba and his brothers came walking downstairs, with a towel covering bubba's face and head.

"M'lady, it has come to the courts attention that we need to even out the playing field a little. May i present to you, your new and improved.... Bubba Sawyer!" And in the most theatrical way possible, nubbins and chop top removed bubba's towel to reveal a brand new haircut. Then they burst out laughing.

Bubba decided amongst his brothers that hopefully if he gets a silly haircut, you might feel a little better. If he makes himself look silly, you might have a little distraction, and not that you are any less beautiful with hair loss (because you're always beautiful no matter what) but to help you feel less out of place.

It was also heartwarming to see chop top and nubbins take something kind of seriously for once and consider how you are feeling during this hard time. They don't really know how to help other than with humor, but you appreciate that anyways.

They really revamped his look. They tried colour blocking a section of bubba's hair by his left ear by bleaching it, but they used household bleach so it just burned his hair off, leaving any remaining hair bleached blonde, but very short and left some skin on his head irritated and red. It didn't bother him in the slightest.

Nubbins buzzed a large bald spot on his crown, and the two brothers took turns hacking at his curls to create an asymmetrical look. It was very silly, but they did it out of love, not to mock you.

"people would pay good money in england for an asymmetrical look like this huh" nubbins smirks to himself. "Can't believe you know that word man." Chop top replies.

It wasn't a permanent fix to the pain you would be going through, but bubba just wanted to make you smile even for a few minutes. Anything to let you know that he's with you through this.

#jason voorhees #michael myers #thomas hewitt #bubba sawyer #jason voorhees x reader #michael myers x reader #thomas hewitt x reader #bubba sawyer x reader #friday the 13 #halloween movie #texas chainsaw massacre 2003 #texas chainsaw massacre #slashers #slashers x reader

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the-mold-is-coming · 8 days ago

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THE GEESE SEE YOU.

Drew this awhile ago as a temporary pfp for my etsy shop!

I am still not sure in which direction i want to take the whole thing aesthetically, and i thought i had two weeks left, but turns out uni starts next week, so i have to rush and get to work, make all my ideas and try and figure out what i want.

Of course, this is in no way a logo, and of course, even in my attepts at one, a logo or some sort of symbol thing, i am not a graphic designer, and so far i am treating it a lot more like a profile picture than a logo, but we'll see. The pfp logo thing will influence the entire aesthetic, the banner, the little cards im gonna put on my orders, so its the priority.

I was sUpposed to look at presentation, how i should present the images of my stickers, make more stickers (NINJAGO STICKERS ToT), but im not sure ill have the time to do it properly without worrying about schoolwork, i really wish i could have more time. Hopefully i can get it done, and i already have three new options, its just about working now!

Here's the link in case you want to check ot the little i have and the way things are laid out before i make improvements!

#digital art #art #artists on tumblr #digital painting #geese #silly geese #silly goose #goose #etsyshop #etsystore #yall im stressing #ninjago #lego ninjago #black clover #hatsune miku

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angstysebfan · 1 year ago

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My Roommates Boyfriend - Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky x female reader AU: Modern Story Summary: Your roommate’s (Nat) boyfriend and you do not get along. You don’t even know why anymore. When she moves across the country for a new job, you both begrudgingly drive her car to her new home. Adventure, angst, and secrets come alive.

A/N: This is another rewrite. Hope you enjoy this. This was one of my first stories that I loved but I wanted to make it better. Hopefully I succeeded. lol

Warning: Cursing, angst (duh lol)

Friday nights were always movie night in your apartment. This one, however, was extra special because your roommate, Natasha, was moving the next day across the country. So this will be your last one, sadly. You were hoping it would just be you girls, but of course Natasha’s douchebag of a boyfriend, Bucky, just had to be there too.

You sit on the love seat, while the couple cuddles on the couch. You can’t help but look over occasionally and see Bucky give Nat kisses on her head and lips every few minutes. You actually feel bad for the guy, since they agreed to end their relationship once Nat leaves, but then you remember you hate his guts, so fuck him.

You and Nat met 5 years ago, when you rented a room in this apartment from her. She was a little intimidating at first, but loyal to a fault. You knew that she would always be in your corner, and you both became best friends. She was the closest person to you since your family is basically nonexistent.

Around a year ago, you were both at the bar enjoying drinks when you both saw a group of men also having a good time. That's where you first saw Bucky Barnes sitting with a group of friends. You would be lying if you said he didn’t catch your eye, but when Nat expressed interest you immediately backed off. By the end of the night, Nat was going home with him, shooting you a wink as they walked out the door.

You were jealous, but didn’t hold any ill-will against her. After a few weeks of dating, Nat invited Bucky over to your apartment to meet you and have a movie night. You smiled sincerely, hiding your jealousy, and extended your hand to shake his, but he just completely blew you off. You were somewhat confused, but figured maybe he was shy around new people.

His attitude towards you, however, never got better no matter how many times he came over to your home or how many times you hung out with a group. He would always sneer and scoff at you, or made small insults directed at you. It bothered you, a lot, but you tried your best to ignore it. You've never had this reaction from someone before, but after awhile you started fighting back. You were tired of his bullshit.

Thus began your year long loathing relationship. You still tried to ignore him whenever you could, but he knew how to press your buttons, and you would then snap. What sucked even more was that you still thought he was the most beautiful man you'd ever seen. You knew he was a good guy based on how he treated Nat, but couldn't understand why he had hatred for you.

Nat constantly begged you both to get along, especially after you told her that you were initially attracted to him as well. However no matter what, nothing good ever came out of you and Bucky being in the same room. You decided to call a truce for tonight since it was Nat’s last night.

When the movie ended, Nat and Bucky started heading to her room. You knew you would be sleeping with headphones on to block out the noise coming from her room. Before entering the room Nat walked over and gave you a big hug.

“I’m leaving early, so I will say goodbye now,” she said, sniffing back her tears.

You felt the tears coming to your eyes and you hug her back. “I'll see you next week, when I bring you your car, remember?” you ask softly so your own voice didn't crack.

Suddenly, you heard a throat clearing. “Uh, what?” Bucky said, walking over to the two of you. “Babe, I thought I was bringing your car next week,” he said, looking at Nat with pleading eyes.

Nat looked between the two of you and sighed. “Look, you’re my best friend, you’re my boyfriend. I want you both to come next week and say a proper goodbye. So you'll both have to suck up sitting in a car together for a few days. Got it?” Nat said with authority.

You gaped at Nat and then looked at Bucky. He looked pissed, but was wise enough to keep his mouth shut. Suddenly a smirk appeared on his face.

“I bet I could get you to reconsider,” he said seductively.

Your stomach flipped hearing his voice like that, but you stayed as emotionless as possible. Nat, however pursed her lips at Bucky.

“Listen, Bucky. Whatever issues you have with Y/N, bury them. She's my best friend, and I want to show her my new place and give her a proper goodbye just like I want to do with you. If you care about me, at all, you will suck up your pride and attitude, and take this drive with her. Please?” she asks, almost whining.

Bucky rolls his eyes and looks at you. “Fine, but you better not do anything to piss me off or I will leave you on the side of the road,” he says to you.

Now you roll your eyes. “Whatever Barnes. Just meet me here at 5 am on Thursday and we'll head out,” you say.

He nods, then picks up Nat carrying her into her room. Nat lets out a squeal and laughs the whole way into the room. Once the door closes, you quickly go into your room in search of your headphones. It doesn’t take long before you hear the moans coming through the walls.

–

You wake up with a start, and look at the clock, 4:45 am. You knew Nat was still here, so you quickly jump up to say goodbye. When you walk out of your room, you see Bucky carrying her suitcases out into the living room. You ignore him and walk into Nat’s room. She's surprised to see you, but smiles.

“If you feel like you forgot anything, let me know and I will make sure to bring it next week, okay,” you say trying and failing not to cry.

She nods and pulls you into tight hug. Tears immediately fall from your face as you again say goodbye to the woman who became your best friend. You walk hand in hand out into the living room, where Bucky is waiting.

“Cab's downstairs babe,” he says quietly.

You can tell he is holding back emotions as well. You give Nat another quick hug and send her on her way. You run to the window to watch her depart. You see Bucky place the suitcases into the trunk, then pull Nat into a hug. They kiss passionately for what feels like forever. As Nat gets into the cab, you see Bucky wiping tears from his eyes. The cab pulls away with your best friend as Bucky just stands there with his hands in his pockets. He then turns and walks back into your building.

You sit on the the couch, crying softly, missing Nat already. Bucky comes back in and looks at you.

“I’ll, uh, get out of your apartment in a few, just want to grab some more of my stuff," he says.

You nod, “Yeah, um... take your time, I know this is hard.”

He scoffs, “Yeah, like you know how hard it is to see your girlfriend, whom you've fallen head over heels for, leave you behind. I’ve never even seen you date,” he says as he walks back into Nat’s room.

You gape at the open doorway of Nat’s room. What the hell was that? You were being nice! You growl as you stand up, walking to the door.

“Ya know Bucky, I really don’t know why you hate me, when all I've only ever tried to be was nice to you. After next week, you'll never have to see my face again, okay. I’m sure you're very happy to know that. So can we just try and be civil for another week, please?” you ask, exasperated.

Bucky looks at you, and you think you see shame on his face. “Yeah, whatever. I’ll see you Thursday, 5 am. Be ready.”

Then he grabs the box on the bed and walks out of the room and out of the apartment. It’s the first time you're actually alone in your apartment. You go back into your room, lay on your bed and cry.

–

The week flew by, and before you knew it, it was the night before you were leaving. You hadn’t seen nor heard from Bucky since Nat left, so you decided to text him to make sure he remembered you were leaving.

Hey Bucky, it’s Y/N. Just wanted to confirm we're leaving tomorrow at 5.

How the fuck did you get my number? And yeah, I know we're leaving tomorrow, I’m not an idiot.

You can’t help but roll your eyes at his rudeness.

Nat gave me your number awhile ago, in case I couldn’t get in touch with her for some reason when you guys were out together. And I never said you were stupid. I just haven’t heard from you and wanted to confirm. Get the fucking stick out of your damn ass!

Well after this trip, delete this number. I’ll be there at 4:45.

Looking forward to it.

You want to throw your phone out the window. You hated Bucky Barnes with a fiery passion! What you hated more was the fact that you know how much you don’t actually hate him. This road trip is going be interesting.

Chapter 2

Looking forward to rewriting this story. If you haven't read the original, don't worry. If you have, I hope you like the changes. Feedback is appreciated.

Permanent Taglist: Permanent Taglist: @rebekahdawkins @marajade1974 @missvelvetsstuff @phillygirl77 @pattiemac1 @winterslove1917 @vampire7595 @unkasworld @midnightramyeoncravings

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky angst #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes angst #bucky x you #bucky x natasha #bucky x female reader #Bucky is an asshole #enemies to lovers #misunderstanding

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driderwife · 2 months ago

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not gonna get into all the details of my medical stuff but my doctor today was really honest with me & basically told me she can’t figure out what my illness is cuz like blood tests show that my body is inflamed and when that happens I get sick but I’ve been to like. Every single specialist at this point and been for every test ever lol.

I really appreciated her honesty tho bc she basically like expressed that she’s trying to figure it out and that I’m her “Mystery Kid” .. and honestly having been through a billion doctors who just send me off to the next person when they can’t figure it out , I really like how she’s still trying 😢 I feel like so many doctors just straight up give up and hand me off to someone else even tho they are acknowledging and can see that I have a mystery illness. My ESR gets super elevated and my WBC is slightly high too and I can like, feel it making me sick.

For now she said we’re gonna treat it like it’s inflammatory arthritis bc of the inflammation and my previous diagnosis with that, although she doesn’t think that’s necessarily what it is bc it has a minimal effect on my joints. But we’re gonna try some medication for that soon so hopefully I won’t be nearly as sick as often as I am currently! And luckily it’s a medication that isn’t a nightmare like prednisone was.

Thank you all again for helping me out in boosting my kofi and donating. It’s truly taken a big fraction of pressure off me this week as Christmas barrels towards us LOL and I’ve been so unprepared bc of all this medical shit and bills that don’t stop.

#medical #personal

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yakultii · 4 months ago

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guys my plan was to do summer semester but the thing is im yet to finish this semester and by the time i finish these assignments (hopefully end of this week) ill have literally like only 1 week break then do it all again so id do summer semester literally nov-feb then i gotta do next sem march-june and then I’d be done with my degree and be free or i can literally be normal and take the 4-5 months of summer off like everyone else in aus (or even just do 1 class to lighten the rest of the load a little in the other sems) but then id have to do next sem being march-june then july-oct next yr so i wouldn’t be done til this time next yr and i do rlly struggle w this second half of the year as u can all probably tell lmao. and a part of me thinks i should just do summer semester like fulltime load cos ill be on a roll like ill get better marks in the summertime but now a part of me is like what if i burn out (cos i have to do march-june regardless cos there’s a compulsory class on there) but then a part of me is like ill be fine but then a part of me is like maybe I should take a break and dedicate this summer to making friends again and trying to enjoy life and trying to go for walks and stuff but then also i just realised i have to move out of my current place in jan but that’s ok i could just go travel for a bit or somethin til i figure out where im moving idk idk wot do u think i need opinions even tho i ultimately don’t listen to anyone ever (just kidding i will actually consider listening to u bc idk) i rlly do wanna just be done w this degree but at the same time i feel like the timing is kinda right to make new friends and old friend and stuff like some things have come where im like maybe this is a sign from the universe to take the opportunity idk like i could have the best summer of my life is i let myself but then there’s also the chance it goes so wrong which is another reason i was gonna do summer sem cos a part of my brain so wanna relapse n like if i do summer sem my academic validation stronger than anything (except rn apparently no jk it still goin strong ish hence im not sleeping rn) and like if i do summer sem i know I won’t relapse bc i rlly need brain capacity to be able to perform at the level i want to (despite doing everything the night before believe it or not ur brain needs minimal fuel at least) so it’s like as much as doing summer sem SUCKS it would probs be good for me rn (though I could probably just try really hard to have a fun summer and engage w humans for the first time in years and distract myself and be glad I had a good summer and not relapse yeh) and I’ve been hyping myself up for it the entire year and I do think that id be ok and not burn out bc I’d be starting fresh and also im just gonna do it online anyway and try keep up and maybe I can hang out w friends at the same time but also I could not do it and dedicate myself to trying to get something good going for me in this life outside of uni you know but then it would extend my degree for another 12 months hmmmm what do u think

#NEED HELP PLS !!#IF ANYONE READS THIS

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lynn-tged-posting · 6 months ago

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tged webtoon ep 155 spoilers n thoughts below cut etc u know the drill

bug when u lift a rock

i love when he has lil soft smileys like this theyre his best look heehee

THIS IS WHAT MY BRAIN WAS MELTING OVER EARLIER TODAY BTW. IM GOING INSANE

THIS HAD ME SHIVERING . TREMBLING LIKE A WET CAT. "when someone really misses another person... they might meet again here." GHH . HGGGGG AAAAAHHH

ok sorry uh. i dont have much insight this time around im just going insane over it,,, a place that represents happy memories and promises to stay together and yet suho has returned here, unable to hold onto both without the ache of loss bc his parents r gone AAAGGHHHG AA

how cruel how cruel how cruel,,, cruel reminders of what he can never return to,,, WHICH MAKES HIM SAYING "i already met my family." SOOO HEARTACHE TO ME

ok sorry im jumping ahead a bit but yeah suho feeling at home as a frontera and moving forward, beyond the memories and the past,,, im gonna THROW UP what the FUCK

ok bouncing back to some sillies this ep LOL

A MAN ON A FUCKING MISSION 😭 LLOYD U MONSTER HAHAA javier being happy that lloyds back to his motivated self tho makes me so happy WEEHEEHEE

ALSO JAVIER IMMEDIATELY BECOMING SOCMED FAMOUS IS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHA honestly the ppl who r taking pics. so real. me too. i can only imagine how insanely pretty javier would b if he was in our world,,, his protagonist-level good looks are dimensional constants .

i am a little bit confused as to why javier said this considering he was so ready to bring lloyd back at all costs when they first got here? mmm maybe his worries were quelled when they were taking the mountain trail to the tower? im not quite sure,,, maybe i missed smth

ALSO HIS FRIEND OMGGG

IM SO GLAD WE GOT TO SEE HIM AGAIN hes working construction now too!!! wahoo!!! hes still got that face tho lol

OH OH AND THE COP CHASE RIGHT

javier folding the clothes is so silly hes such a good lil guy 😭 vs lloyd just leaving them scattered LMAOOO it was nice of them to leave a note n the gold for the cop guys tho!!

i also liked that the cops kept fucking posing thru out the whole ep HAHAHA ive never seen jjba but its like jjba level posing theyre so silly

AND FINALLY YAA THEY GOT ALL THE MATERIALS SECURED

i rlly liked javiers lil "!!" at the bottom here HEHEHE

so so happy they got the stuff!!!! restoration of fate can SUCK AN EGG THEYRE GONNA BEAT IT!!!! hopefully

afaik theres no telling what the jewel of truth is gonna actually say abt fighting fate,,, or whether or not the jewel will give the answer that easily,,, hopefully it goes smoothly lloyd deserves a break atp 😭😭😭

also how r they gonna put the thing together havent they been flying over the ocean w draggy recently . werent the mermaids tryna figure out who was commanding draggy so that they could sic em for opening that portal to hell 😭 WILL THAT B A PROBLEM? (dont actually answer that)

man oh man milestone achieved but still so much to do for these guys,,,, i wanna put them in a box and contain them and let them have a break they deserve it

ok thats it for now,,, if i start brainrotting again ill prolly post abt it here or on twitter,,, see yall next week!!!!

#tged #the greatest estate developer #tged spoilers #lynn misc #lloyd frontera #javier asrahan #kim suho #trying to work out which panel screenshots to put was a NIGHTMARE i rlly need to not spam screenshot when i read these eps 😭#also sorry this was so late LOL my usual websites werent updating!#when i saw the ep drop my stomach FLIPPED im so serious

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hanayanaa · 1 year ago

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V ISNT DEAD GUYS!!! : )

ALWAYS BACK UP YOUR DENIAL WITH PROOF AND EVIDENCE KIDS

1) well okay, first off, the classic rule that if a character dies off screen, they're probably not dead. classic time tested rule!

2) they made so much merch of her, not to mention she's literally the face of the franchise as one of the first characters liam made for the show. They aren't going to kill off such an iconic and integral character this early on. remember, we still have SEVERAL more seasons to go!

3) the lyrics of eternal dream, which are supposedly about V's inner thoughts and wishes, states that she is tired of this dream (life), which is more of a nightmare for her. I'm going to annotate the entirety of it on genius sometime this week hopefully /srs, but the last line is "I can't end this dream", a desperate cry, for she can't escape her living nightmare, where she is hurt and used and traumatized so much, but also, in our case, potential evidence of her coming back? nola klop, her va, also said that this version isn't the whole song, since she mentions being excited for the full version. and since it's about V, a full version, along with that line, implies she will return. mostly that latter point though, ill admit the single line might be a stretch LOLL but i figured eh might as well include it...

4) J's still off reading about stock prices or whatever in tessa's space ship lol. J's doing J things and she might've gotten bored and went exploring and ended up finding and saving V. we literally have no idea what she's doing besides getting a command to look after tessa's vehicle, which she can probably do from a relative distance. she's stated as a workaholic, but that means she'd also probably get bored quickly if she has nothing to actively do, if there isn't anything for her to be actively guarding, she might wander off while simply occasionally checking the ship. (I also want more J too she's so fucking funny)

5) she had her eyes closed during the final scene where we see her! If she had kept them closed, then she should be fine in regards to getting bootlooped at least. maybe she was scared, or was embarrassed in a way, not wanting herself or anyone else to see her in this raw, vulnerable state she hates and fears so much. and unless the sentinels tear out her heart/core, she'll probably be fine and can regenerate herself. (side note: alice has an id card like nori and yeva, doll's mother. she was one of the patient zero drones who were purposefully infected with solver in order to see it's effects and conduct research, so she'll probably be back as well, considering she's most likely a solver user. beau might be back, i can't say for sure, all depends if she decides to revive him or not. the disassembly drone corpses in cabin fever labs were probably because alice used a combination of sentinels and solver manipulation to take them down and remove their hearts, which we can see she keeps in an old oven, which is why they can't regenerate themselves anymore and are effectively dead. the hearts are the "worm" thing uzi mentioned would come out of V if alice cut her up.)

6) while the show itself has a lot of gags, it's also brimming with genuine love for detail and lore, like they're fucking around, but they're also not fucking around. V has a lot to tell us still, since she's been extremely mysterious and quiet about her own personal past, probably due to trauma and being terrified of being vulnerable, since she was so often hurt when she let her guard down. a lot of things about her aren't really directly mentioned, and are just IMPLIED, the most prominent examples being her genuine inner thoughts, since there are many zoom-ins to her face and expressions, but we are only left to guess on what she's really thinking. so they're not going to let her go just yet; in fact, i think the next episode will be one centered around her (probably more flashbacks? who knows, but i think since she's been important, but not centered on really until now, she'll recieve her own time in the spotlight.)

7) similar to the point above, her character arc is far from over, and if she were to die now, it'd be a crime against her character and the entire story. she was and still is a vital part of the team, but everyone else was so wrapped up in their own plans or infatuations that poor V ended up getting almost completely ignored. even though she loves everyone deep down, and protects them with her life, she never once got a thank you, or asked how she's doing, or anything. all she got was mostly light arguements and insults back-- the last thing uzi said to her was "you, ew! you're mean!", while the last thing V said to uzi was "uzi, I trust you." one could argue that because of her snarky attitude, she's kind of walking into these scuffles, but...really? no one ever stopped for one second to think about that person right next to them and think about who they are beyond that snark? not even N, who's been with her since the beginning, and openly admitted to having a crush on her? or tessa, her superior, who presumably rescued her from the dump, gave her clothes and hair and companionship? she squealed upon seeing N, but didn't give a single glance at V aside from an argument near the end of the episode, and a reflection of V looking solemnly back in her helmet. i genuinely think that because of these mistakes, she'll come back... eventually, at least, so hopefully they can learn from their mistakes and treat her better this time around, for they are getting a second chance, and everyone can slowly start healing together. V has a very broken heart, so for her to fully heal, i unfortunately don't think that will happen for a long time, but she can begin the process slowly, if her teammates start treating her more kindly, as a peer, someone whose thoughts and opinions and feelings matter too, rather than just someone to be snarky and argued with.

to summarize, she has an almost 99.9% chance of coming back because she's the face of the franchise, along with having a bunch of merchandise, it'd be kind like of shooting yourself in the foot to kill off the literal most iconic character, the literal icon. the final lyrics of eternal dream and the mention from her va that this current version isn't even the full length version, implies V will come back, especially since the song is from her point of view. lastly, her character arc is far from over, since while being a vital part of the team, her teammates have been ignoring her for the most part ever since episode 2, even though she's been there with them this entire time. bringing her back gives everyone a chance to make it up to her, and brings both parties to a point of healing. lastly, her character arc aside, she has much to tell us about the lore, since she is implied to know and be hiding a lot, but since she is so mysterious due to her painful past, it is hard for her to open up. the last two points are connected, as if she is more comfortable, she'll open up more, revealing more about the lore and story along with it.

Out of all the characters ive loved throughout the years, i genuinely do think she is the most tragic one. considering the only real decision she was ever allowed to make was sacrificing herself to the sentinels, possibly in an attempted suicide to finally end all of the pain welled up in her heart? yeah.

she's probably one of my favourite characters of all time, even though ive only recently watched it, she has already made a permanent mark on my heart. i really, truly do hope that she comes back, because she deserves it. she deserves to heal and be appreciated for who she is, and she deserves a space where she's comfortable enough to let down her walls and be her honest self again. i think if she comes back, we'll see a much more vulnerable and timid side of her we haven't seen before except for occasional rare moments. she'll still be snarky, but it'll take her a while to recover from the initial shock of all her emotional turmoil surrounding her sacrifice, as well as get used to all the new attention she's getting. after that, however, she'll recover and start healing and come back as a stronger, happier, and still very snarky V. ♡

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