#but honestly just feels like a hunger for more content
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thenotoriousscuttlecliff ¡ 5 months ago
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Seeing people say that we never see the Doctor and Ruby talking for more than 30 seconds makes me think 73 Yards and Dot and Bubble has just clouded their memories because the first four episodes of this era are almost nothing but the Doctor and Ruby talking and bonding.
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Yeah, the Doctor-lite episodes meant we haven't had as much lately, but so many are going on as there's been none at all, as if every episode before 73 Yards was like Rogue where they were mostly separated in their own plotlines.
#doctor who#dw#fifteenth doctor#ruby sunday#ncuti gatwa#millie gibson#and don't get me started on the tardis bookends discourse#that argument lost all credibility when the same people insisted the ending of rogue be moved to the tardis#for no reason other than they wanted it in the tardis#it was exactly the type of scene they said the season was lacking#but didn't count because it wasn't in the tardis#same as with boom#one of the reasons they don't do tardis scenes at the start and end of every episode is because they get rather repetative#if you started rogue with the doctor and ruby in the tardis it would just end up being a repeated of the devil's chord#they decide to do bridgerton and get all dressed up#we don't really need a scene explaining why they're there#it is built into the whole show that they are just roamers#often randomly showing up in places and trying to have fun#for them going to a regency ball is no different than going to a club is for most people#wildest one was someone complaining why they were in wales at the start of 73 yards#they argued that because we didn't get a scene in the tardis we had no idea if being there was intentional or not#but that is irrelevant#the tardis often just lands in random places and the doctor and co have no idea where they are until they step outside#so many episodes start with them stepping outside and going “where the hell are we?”#everything that could've been said in the tardis was said outside it#there was no need to split that between two locations#especially when one actors time is limited#this all feels tied into the ongoing discourse about shows being longer#which many say is to it in more character beats#but honestly just feels like a hunger for more content
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worldlxvlys ¡ 8 months ago
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A CHRIS X READER THAT IS POC I BEG YOU ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BUT YK HOW THEY DID THAT COLLAB WITH SAM AND COLBY, TARA, JAKE, LARRAY AND JOHNNIE
BUT DURING THE COLLAB CHRIS WAS BEING REAL TOUCHY WITH THE READER LIKE WHEN SHE BENDS OVER HED PUT HIS HANDS ON HER CROTCH BUT NB SEES IT AND THEY EVENTUALLY F*CK PLS
last time
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chris sturniolo x poc! reader
warnings: smutttt, p in v, cursing, unprotected sex, cream pie, choking, poc! reader, sexual jokes
a/n: writing for this friend group was so funnn
enjoyyy<33
“wait, ok chris! let me get up!” i exclaimed, laughing as chris squeezed his arms around me tighter.
we were currently at the triplet’s house with his brothers, jake, johnnie, tara, larray, sam, and colby.
when the entire group agreed we were hungry, i offered to make us something.
“so, what’s on the menu?” colby asked, eyebrows raised as he clapped his hands together excitedly.
“nothing, if chris doesn’t let me get up to make it” i spoke, causing him to glare up at me and squeeze me even tighter.
upon hearing the words, the entire group yelled at chris to get off of me, the hunger beginning to make them cranky.
“fine” he grumbled as he let go of me, allowing me to stand up.
i began to make my way to the kitchen when tara spoke up, “wait! i’ll help you” she smiled as she walked over to me.
once we got to the kitchen, which happened to be just out of earshot from the couch that the rest of the group resided on, she began to speak.
“so, you and chris aren’t together, right?” she asked.
i raised my eyebrows at her suspiciously at the statement, squinting at her. “why?”
she lightly chuckled at that, “i just noticed you guys are really touchy, but i don’t wanna assume anything” she said, raising her hands in defense.
i laughed at the gesture, “no, you’re ok. i don’t know what we are, honestly. i mean, we’re really close, probably closer than friends should be. but, neither of us are ready for a relationship, you know?”
it was true, chris and i had done some questionable things for just being friends.
it’s not like we had sex often, we just happened to get caught up in the moment once or twice.
…and a few times after that…. and a few more after those times.
but other than that, we had a completely normal friendship.
we were both aware of each other’s feelings, but we were content with where our relationship was at.
why risk messing everything up when we’re both happy ?
“so you guys don’t want to be in a relationship, you just want to act like you’re in one?” she pointed out, “that logic seems a bit flawed to me”
“you do have a point, but honestly? change is scary, and i’m not willing to completely dismantle mine and chris’s relationship because i got greedy” i spoke.
she tilted her head, squinting her eyes, “is that not what you’re doing right now?” she deadpanned. “you’re not worried that fucking around will ruin your relationship first?”
my eyes widened at the statement, “when did i say we were fucking around?” i defended, taken aback at how quickly she was able to figure it out.
“so y’all are? i knew it!” larray joined in, suddenly appearing next to me.
i quickly shushed him, not wanting chris to hear the conversation from his spot on the couch.
“keep your voice down, he’s right there! and where did you even come from?” i asked.
i glanced over to chris to determine whether he had heard the conversation, only to be met with his eyes already on me.
“you think he knows we’re talking about him?” tara whispered to us, catching his gaze on me.
“i don’t know, but girl he’s eye fucking the shit out of you right now” larray told me.
my jaw dropped at his words, a light giggle falling from my lips.
“oh our girl’s getting dicked down tonight” tara joined in.
“y’all have to stop” i spoke, the two collectively laughing at my flustered state.
suddenly, chris got up from his spot, beginning to walk over to the kitchen.
“oh shit, he’s coming over” i whispered to them.
“okay girl, go get your pasta and lobster” larray spoke, beginning to walk away.
“you got this!” tara whispered, walking away with him.
before i knew it, chris stood in front of me, a light smirk growing on his face.
“you guys talkin about me?” he asked, his hands finding their way to my waist.
“no” i denied, despite of us both knowing it wasn’t true.
"mmhm, you tell them how good i make you feel?” he asked as his fingers ran over the skin under my t-shirt.
“chris” i spoke, swallowing harshly.
“how you act all innocent in front of everyone else, but in bed you’re a freak?” he whispered into my ear.
“chris!” i scolded him, lightly slapping his chest. “what’s gotten into you?”
“what do you think? you’re walking around in this skirt, showing off your thighs. all i can think about is shoving my head between them” he spoke, his hands running down my body.
just before they could make their way to my thighs, a voice made us pull away, “you guys are real cute and all, but i’m hungry! chris, please just let her make our food” jake yelled from his spot.
his words caused tara to smack him upside the head, his face contorting into a wince at the feeling.
“what are you making anyway? we have, like, no food in our fridge” matt spoke up.
“oh, i know. i was just gonna make pizza rolls” i answered.
“we don’t have any pizza rolls” nick spoke, brows furrowing in confusion.
“yeah, we do” chris spoke, pulling them out of the freezer, “i bought her some”
i smiled bashfully at the statement, mouthing a “thank you” to chris.
he lightly nudged me with his shoulder in response, a smile of his own growing on his face.
“you two make me sick” colby spoke, “don’t be jealous, it’s not my fault no one buys you pizza rolls” i defended.
his eyes widened at that, taking offense to the words.
“ok, but wait, you said you were cooking something. this entire time i thought you were actually making us a meal” nick said, the group making noises of agreement.
“listen, y’all ! i’m not, nor did i ever claim to be a chef. i don’t know what you thought, but you were wrong” i spoke playfully.
“and nick, you know there’s no food, this is your house. where did you think i was getting ingredients from?” i asked as i placed the pizza rolls on a sheet.
“girl i don’t know, but pizza rolls aren’t gonna fill anyone up, those are like appetizers”
“ok then don’t eat any” i shrugged as i finished emptying the package.
“y’all can order something if you want, i’m really just craving pizza rolls” with that the group began to have a conversation about what they wanted to order.
“i’ll have some of your pizza rolls” chris spoke from beside me.
“good” i smiled up at him, before grabbing the baking sheet to place in the oven.
i bent over, pulling the oven open to place the sheet on the rack.
when my skirt rose up slightly, chris didn’t waist a second in placing his hand on my ass.
he quickly dipped his fingers into my panties, rubbing my heat.
he used his free hand to pull my front half back up, quickly covering my mouth with the palm of his hand.
“hmphhh” i lightly moaned into his hands, as his fingers explored my wetness, collecting my arousal on his fingers.
before i knew it, his fingers left my body, as he turned me around to face him.
he placed his fingers, which were now coated in my juices, into his mouth.
i watched intently as his tongue swirled around each finger, lapping at them like a starved man.
“hm, just needed a taste” he spoke, smirking at my shocked state, “you should probably close that”
“close what?” i asked him as i blinked rapidly, attempting to recover from his actions.
he nodded towards the oven with his head, “i don’t know how well they’ll cook if you leave the door open” he raised his eyebrows at me.
he was having the time of his life right now.
“uh- yeah, yeah you’re right” i spoke as i quickly closed the oven door.
“need some help with that?” chris asked as he stared down at my thighs, which were involuntarily clenching together.
i was doing my best to hold it together, but his actions turned me on far more than i’d like to admit.
“i’m fine” i spoke quickly, hoping he wouldn’t point out the fact that i was obviously lying.
but he, being chris, would never give me the luxury of sparing me from his teasing.
“really? you don’t look fine. you look like you need to be ruined” he whispered into my ear.
“chris, i’m not gonna have sex with you with all of these people in the house”
“really? don’t think that’s stopped you before” he spoke cockily.
“we said that the last time was gonna be it, remember?” i reminded him, placing my hand on his chest.
“yeah, you’re right, we have to stop. so we’re done doing this” he nodded his head at me.
“yup, that’s it. it’s done”
well, it was done. until-
“fuck, chris! yes, yes, yes ! right fucking there, holy shit” i did my best to keep quiet, as chris pounded into me from behind.
“one last time, just one last time” he whispered to himself while he drove himself in and out of me like his life depended on it.
“if this is the last time, i’m gonna make sure you remember that no one else will ever fuck you like i do” he whispered into my ear, chest pressing against my back while my eyes rolled into the back of my head.
“ you got that? can you say it back to me, princess? “
“i- no one, no one will ever fuck me like you do” i heaved out, fisting his sheets as continued to push himself deep inside of me.
“damn right” he rasped, as he gave my ass a slap, eliciting a moan from me.
“god, what did i do to deserve you? you’re so fucking good for me, holy shit” his head fell back as he moaned out.
“you feel so good in me, chris. don’t want anyone else, just you” i spoke back to him.
“yeah? am i making you feel good, baby? that’s all i ever want, just want you to feel good” he whispered, his fingers digging into my waist.
“you always do, baby. always feel so good with you” i moaned back.
my mind grew fuzzy as he went from giving sharp, quick thrusts to slow and deep ones, allowing me to feel every inch of him.
“love fucking you hard, but i gotta show you how much i care bout you” he spoke before burying his nose into my neck.
he placed a sweet kiss to the skin, before pulling it between his lips.
he sucked on the skin until it became darker, making it known that he had been there.
his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me close to his body as his cock stretched out my pussy.
“i don’t- fuck chris, it’s so good” i choked out as he continued to leave kisses against my skin.
“love seeing you like this, all fucked out under me. you’re so fucking beautiful, can’t believe you’re even real” he whispered.
“all yours, chris. you’re the only one who gets to see me like this”
i pushed my hips back into him, grinding on his dick, as he wrapped a hand around my neck to choke me.
“god, oh my-” he whined out his dick twitching inside of me.
“you gonna cum for me, chris?” i asked as i felt myself on the brink of my own orgasm.
“yes, yes, please cum with me” he whispered, head dropping to the crook of my neck as he shot his seed inside of me.
he continued to thrust into me, the coil in my stomach snapping as i coated his cock in my pleasure.
coaxing me through my orgasm, he gave a few more sloppy thrusts, before gently pulling out of me.
“did so good for me” he mumbled, pressing a light kiss to my shoulder.
“was that good ? did i hurt you?” he asked as he went to lay down next to me.
“of course it was good, chris. and i’m okay” i told him, cupping his cheek.
“good, let me clean you up and we can cuddle?” he asked, a grin taking over his features.
“yeah, sounds good“ i spoke as i heard my phone vibrate on chris’s nightstand.
when i opened it up, i was met with unopened text messages:
THE ULTIMATE CROSSOVER ❗️(10 MEMBERS)
matty b 💁🏻‍♂️ 9:01 pm
SHUT THE HELL UP ! WE CAN HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY OUT HERE
nick 👑 9:01 pm
oh great you guys pissed off mat
(i agree w him)
johnnie 🧛🏻 9:02 pm
i’m just waiting for my food
jake 🕸️ 9:10 pm
CHRIS STOP FUCKING AND TELL US WHAT U WANT SO WE CAN ORDER OUR FOOD
tara 👅 9:10 pm
YOU SHOULD’VE GOTTEN IT BEFORE THEY DISAPPEARED TOGETHER
TF WERE U EXPECTING DUMBASS
larray 💅🏽 9:15 pm
🍝+ 🦞
if it’s not snowing she ain’t going y’all
sam 👻🌝 9:34 pm
update: we ate your pizza rolls
colby 👻🌚 9:34 pm
we’re still hungry hurry up
y/n ⭐️ 9:41 pm
MY PIZZA ROLLS ???
FUCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF U HOES
IMMA FIGHT Y’ALL 🤺🤺
chris 🦌 9:41 pm
oops
my bad guys
nick 👑 9:42 pm
chris come do the walk of shame out here so i can beat your ass 🙂
TARA 🧚🏻‍♀️ 9:20 pm
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🌀🌀🌀🌀
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @sturnssx @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris
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pitchsidestories ¡ 3 months ago
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lovers II Keira Walsh x Williamson!Reader
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masterlist I word count: 2468
a/n: Hi, we realized that it's our 100th oneshot which sounds absolutely wild, so enjoy. For the readers who wait for the Emily Fox fanfic it will come out next. <3
You were in love with Ibiza.
In love with the beaches and the sunshine, the palm trees and the blue of the ocean.
You were in love with the clubs and bars, your sister and her friends took you to.
But above all, you were in love with your sister’s best friend.
The afternoon sun painted the hotel room in soft golden light as you slipped into a short dress. You could still feel the salty air and the sun from earlier that day on your skin as you began applying mascara to your eyelashes. Except for a bit of hunger, you felt fully content.
“Ready for dinner? You look gorgeous by the way.“, Keiras voice said from behind you.
You hadn’t noticed her coming in.
You flinched, almost stabbing yourself in the eye with the mascara wand.
Keira smiled apologetically at your reflection in the mirror.
You watched as her gaze started to travel down your body, taking in every curve in your tight-fitting dress.
With a smile you turned towards her and bridged the gap between the two of you.
“Are you kidding? Look at you… Your curls are so pretty and soft.“, you whispered, gently running her fingers through her reddish brown hair.
You loved the way the salt water had restored Keiras natural hair texture.
“My curls? I just didn’t straighten my hair.“, she laughed.
Her cheeks flushed slightly, barely visible through the light sunburn on her skin.
Completely enamoured, you beamed at her: “I love it.“
You were about to lean forward to kiss her when someone cleared their throat behind you.
Your heart stopped while you pulled apart. You ran through possible explanations for this situation in your head, just in case you would turn around to face your sister.
Instead, Alex Scott watched the two of you with a knowing grin.
“You do? Oh hi, Alex.“, Keira greeted the former football player.
“Little Williamson is right though. She could have done something with fashion but…“, Alex said without finishing her thought.
You rolled your eyes, she had always tried to convince you to work in the fashion industry but you wouldn’t trade your job as an English teacher in Barcelona for anything in the world.
“She chose to teach people English in Spain and honestly, it was the best decision ever.“, you finished for Alex.
Keira laughed: “I agree with that.“
Leah appeared next to Alex in the doorway. Subconsciously, you tried to put more distance between yourself and Keira.
“Of course, you do, Kei. Because that way you can talk to someone in your mother tongue almost every day. How did the Catalan interview go again?“, your sister teased.
Her best friend released a tired groan: “Don’t remind me.“
Alex changed the subject, pointing with her thumb over her shoulder: “Now that everyone’s dressed up, let’s get some dinner in before we go clubbing.“
“Sounds like a good idea.”, you agreed in a good mood, the sea air made you hungry.
At the restaurant Keira studied the menu thoroughly before looking at you with an innocent smile on her lips.
“Everything here sounds so good, do you want to share?”, she asked.
“Sure.”, you replied happily. Above your heads the fairy lights were switched on and you could hear the waves crashing on to the shore in the background.
The romantic atmosphere was quickly disturbed by your older sister.
“Excuse me? I thought you’d share with me!”, she pouted, sending glances at the Barca player which could kill.
“What about your girlfriend? Doesn’t she want to share with you?”, Keira asked in return, cheeks flushed.
“Yes, Lee, no need to be that dramatic about it.”, Alex Greenwood intervened laughing.
“I’m not dramatic.”, Leah countered smirking.
“That’s just how she’s.”, you explained cheekily.
“Why don’t we order food for the table so we can all share?”, your girlfriend suggested hoping this would calm the Blonde Arsenal defender down.
“Yes, that’s perfect. I’m in.”, the two Alex’s declared grinning.
“Same, you too, Leah?”, you turned around to investigate your sister’s face, waiting for her reaction.
“Sure.”, she nodded, sounding much calmer already.
 “What about a first round of cocktails?”, Jess wanted to know.
“Please.”, Leah answered.
A few minutes later the drinks arrived at your table, beaming you toasted with her. “Cheers.”
“Cheers.”, she responded grinning.  
The sweetness and the alcohol sparked the desire in you to touch your lover’s curly hair again.
“Stop it.”, Keira demanded giggling.
“I’m not doing anything.”, you remarked in a not guilty tone.
“Yes, you’re. Stop it.”, she bit her lip nervously.
“Fine.”, you sighed defeated, quickly finishing your cocktail.
After the last sip you stood up smiling delighted at the other girls. “Girls, are we ready for the club now?”
“Let’s go.”, Alex Greenwood chirmed.
The sun was long gone now, the moon and the stars shown brightly as you and your sister former and current teammates joined the Ibizan night life.
Something your sister and you both shared was the passion for music. While Leah preferred to sing you would take every chance you could get to dance. Before Keira your first love has been rhythm and beats.
“Come on, Kei.”, Alex nudged the red-haired woman who admired you from the distance.
“I don’t dance. I’m here for the drinks.”, she waved the sports journalist off.
“But I do. Come on, Alex.”, Leah remarked cheerfully.
“Coming.“, Alex laughed and let the defender pull her into the direction of the dance floor.
The other Alex jumped up as well, following closely behind: “Hey, wait for me.“
You caught Keiras eye from across the room and danced your way over to her. You were not ready to stop yet but you also didn’t want to leave her alone.
Keira reached for your wrist with a laugh: “Stop twirling around, y/n.“
“Why?“, you asked, spinning out of her grasp.
“Just because.“
You stopped for a moment, studying her face. There was something serious and pleading in her eyes that you didn’t understand. You only wanted to continue dancing with your friends. “Keira…“
You interrupted yourself, taking in a sharp breath in surprise as two hands laid on your hips and spun you around.
A man in his mid-thirties and clearly drunk grinned at you. His gaze traveled down to your neckline while he asked you something that your brain didn’t seem to comprehend. Apparently he wanted you to dance with him but everything about him made clear that he had other things in mind than just dancing.
You froze in place, not sure if you felt disgusted or disgusting.
Just when you were about to say something, your sister squeezed between him and you and pushed him back: “Sorry, no. That’s my sister!“
“And she’s already taken.“, Keira added. You hadn’t noticed that Keira had gotten up from her seat as well.
Leahs head whipped towards her best friend: “What?“
“Uhm…“, you mumbled as you watched the man retreat with his hands raised in surrender.
You desperately tried to find a good reason to change the subject but you just couldn’t come up with one.
“Who is it, y/n? One of your colleagues or one of the Barca girlies?“, Leah asked, her voice tinted with anger.
“It’s…uhm…“, you started and forced yourself not to look at Keira. Lying would be so easy right now. But did you actually want to keep hiding?
Your sister got impatient: “Just tell me.“
“Keira.“, was all you could get out and prayed that you made the right choice.
The two best friends looked at each other. Keira nodded slowly: “It’s me.“
“Wait, you?! When? How? She’s my little sister!“ Leahs eyebrows furrowed in anger.
Keira shrugged, trying to keep her voice calm: “In Barcelona… it just happened.“
Your sister turned towards you with her jaw set: “We’ll talk about this tomorrow morning!“
She stormed off without waiting for an answer and you quietly wondered where she would go.
Keira and you ended the night there and went back to your hotel room.
You walked out on the balcony overlooking the ocean, Keira followed right behind you.
“She’s really mad.“, you said nervously into the night sky.
The midfielder wrapped her arms around you and rolled her eyes: “She can’t be mad about this.“
You knew she had a point.
“No, Lee is more upset about the fact that we didn’t tell her.“
“Still. I can talk with her if you want me to.”, Keira offered while you kept watching the waves come and go which was scarily similar to your older sister’s temper. Deep down you knew she would eventually calm down.
“No, I’ll do it, it’s fine.”, you assured the Barcelona player before kissing her temple softly.
For a moment she closed her eyes under your touch. “She’ll be fine.”, the midfielder whispered in a convinced tone as her lips touched yours in a heartfelt kiss.
“What was the kiss for?”, you raised an eyebrow at her curiously.
“For good luck.”, Keira replied smirking.
“But she said tomorrow so maybe we could just go inside and..”, you begun rambling.
“You think that’s a good idea?”, your girlfriend interrupted you with a doubtful look on her face.
“No, I’ll do it now.”, you sighed, knowing fully well that some things shouldn’t be put on hold. Although you’d miss the comforting hug of the midfielder who pretended to hate them but always made an exception for you.
Cautiously you stood at the entry of the hotel room your sister and her girlfriend were staying in. “Lee, can we chat outside?”
Without a word the older blonde got up and put on her shoes, signalling that she was ready to talk to you outside.
For a while the two of you walked silently on the sand which felt still warm under your naked feet.
“So, you and Keira, huh?”, Leah broke the silence, sounding more curious than mad this time.
“Yeah.”, you answered timidly.
“Since when?” the defender continued asking.
“We got closer when she came to Barcelona.”, you confessed.
“That was forever ago.”, she noted slightly hurt by your reply.
“Yes, but we just started dating a few months ago.”, you added quickly. This much was true. Undoubtedly, you always had a soft spot for your sister’s best friend. The more time you two spend together, the more it became obvious that there was more than just friendship.
“And you didn’t tell me.”, Leah swallowed hard through that realization.
“You didn’t ask me.”, you reminded her.
“If you’re dating my best friend? How was I supposed to know.”, she retorted.
“No, in general, it’s mostly about you when you call me.”, you countered.
“I didn’t realize that. I’m sorry. But I thought you’d tell me such things.”, the defender apologized, her skin despite the tan turned pale.
“It’s okay. I guess we weren’t great sisters for each other recently.”, you admitted guiltily.
Leah nodded in reluctant agreement: “I guess we weren’t.“
There was a moment of silence between the two of you, not uncomfortable but thoughtful.
“But we could do better now.“, you said determinedly,
Your sister stopped walking. You only realized that wasn’t on your side anymore after a few more steps.
You turned towards her and caught her staring at you.
“Y/n?“, she asked.
“Yes?“
“Are you happy?“
You smiled at her: “Very.“
“With Kei?“
“Yes.“, you confirmed again.
Leah studied your face for a moment, searching for any indication of a lie before she finally nodded once: “Okay.“
“Okay?“, you echoed with hopefulness in your voice. You didn’t want to fight with your sister. You wanted her and Keira in your life.
Leah kicked up some sand with her shoe: “Yes, okay. I think I can live with that.“
“Good.“, you beamed and slowly continued your walk, waiting for your sister to take her place by your side again.
You thought your talk was over when your sister suddenly spoke up again: “Y/n?“
You looked at her, signalling her to continue.
“Just because you live a life outside of the public eye doesn’t mean I’m not interested in your life or I’m not proud of you.“
Her words caught you by surprise. You frowned at her in confusion. “Wait, you’re proud of me?“
“Why do you sound so surprised? Obviously I’m proud of you.“
You stared down at the fine sand under your feet: “Sorry.“
Another break in your conversation arose. Apparently, struggling to express your emotions properly ran in your family.
“Not everyone has the bravery to go abroad for work… I would not.“, Leah continued.
You looked back up at her: “Really?“
She nodded slowly: “You know how much I love home. And Arsenal. I just couldn’t.“
Hearing this filled you with pride but at the same time, you had to suppress a smile because you really couldn’t imagine your sister anywhere else.
“True, you’re such a homebody.“, you laughed.
Your sister smirked and gave you a small shrug: “See, we’re just very different.“
“Yes, but that’s okay.“, you assured her. You could feel the tension dissolve slowly.
Leah raised an eyebrow: “I will still have to talk to Keira though.“
You let out a groan: “Oh no, not the big sister talk.“
“Oh yes, even for my best friend.“
“Fine, but try and be nice, okay?“, you asked innocently.
“Of course.“
“Thank you.“
She reached over and ruffled through your blonde hair: “Anything for my little sister.“
You tried to get revenge. You two were laughing like children while you chased her down the beach.
You never heard anything about their talk. Both Keira and Leah refused to tell you anything and stubbornly maintained their silence. You didn’t care anyway. They seemed closer than ever and that was all that mattered to you.
The next days were spend at the beach, enjoying the sun and the refreshing coolness of the sea.
“No. I’m not going into the water.“ Keira shook her head determinedly. She had spend the morning straightening her hair but to you, that was not a reason to miss out on swimming.
“Come on.“ You impatiently pulled at her arm.
Leah appeared on Keiras other side, pushing her forward. “You better go now.“
Together you barrelled towards the sea, falling over each as soon as you reached the water. The rest of your friend group burst out laughing,
Keira pushed her now wet hair back. It started to curl at the ends already.
“I hate you Williamsons!“, she laughed.
You kissed her cheek: “No, you don’t.“
“Not really, no.“, Keira admitted and pulled you towards her by your waist to kiss you.
Leah grimaced in disgust: “Okay, but you don’t have to kiss in front of me.“
“Stop complaining.“, you rolled your eyes.
Keira grinned at her: “You better get used to it, Lee.“
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kingofbodyrolls ¡ 5 months ago
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End of the World (m) | myg
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→ Summary: Your government has been telling you to prepare for war, just as a precaution given the recent political changes around your country. Did you listen and prepare? No. Are you paying the price now, friends all but gone, and your city burned to pieces? Yes. Survival instincts kicking in, you search for a place to rest, nourish your battered and hungry body, only to find yourself at the porch of a stranger. Will he help you, or leave you to your own demise?  → Pairing: Yoongi x reader (female) → Genres/AUs: apocalyptic, survival, co-dependency to stay alive + heavy angst, fluff and smut with a very small sprinkle of comedy. → Tropes: strangers to lovers + forced proximity & only one bed (because I love that shit) → Rating: mature/explicit/R18 (this is mature/explicit content, so minors, please do not interact.) → Word count: 21.3k 🫣 → Warnings + triggers: nuclear war (bombings), fire, death (people are dying so and some minor side characters die), blood and wounds (also features a lot), period blood, ptsd behavior and reactions, hunger (no access to food), anxiety attacks, hyperventilation, guns and knifes, shooting, self defense, m*rder in self defense, exposure to radiation. Minor character deaths. The ending is open and bittersweet. The story is just really grim and angsty and sad (but also comforting) 🤷 → Warnings (explicit: smut): oral (f and m receiving), nipple play/sucking, fingering, multiple orgasms, hair pulling, dirty talk, pleasing kink, protected sex (it might be the end of the world, but fret not Yoongi’s got condoms!), clit play, cockwarming, kissing, a small scene of public sex (they are outside on a hill, np people around). → Author’s note(1): So I have mixed feelings about it and the smut got less detailed than what I usually write (because I’m getting a bit tired of smut honestly, so sorry if it sucks), and I’m scared of what you’ll think of it— but here it is! I felt a lot of pressure with it, so I had my husband beta-ing it 😂 Which gave us a lot of laughs! I hope you enjoy it ⭐ → Read on AO3? [link]
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[navi]: end of the world // end of the world: a flickering hope // shower drabble // whalien52 // end of the world: epilogue
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A deep, ominous rumbling reverberates through the silence, a sinister caress against your ears. 
Eyes shut tight, your breaths are slow and steady, an island of peace in a sea of unrest. But the tranquility shatters as the rumbling intensifies, transforming into a relentless quake that grips your bed. You jolt awake, eyes opening just in time to be seared by a blinding white flash, burning into your vision with a harsh, unforgiving light.
Your ears ring with an unforgiving high pitched sound that makes it feel like your ears are bleeding.
You flinch, squeezing your eyes shut once more, but the world doesn’t let you escape. 
A cacophony of rumbling, shaking, and distant, panicked screams erupts around you. 
When you dare to open your eyes again, your bedroom has transformed into a nightmarish landscape— no longer a safe, enclosed space, but exposed to the elements. The dark sky looms overhead, thick with acrid smoke. Everything is engulfed in an oppressive, inky gloom that seems so dark, dark, dark.
You curl into yourself on the bed, eyes wide as you take in the scene around you. It’s like a nightmarish tableau image from a dystopian survival movie: the once serene sky is now obliterated, suffocated by a churning ocean of thick, acrid smoke. Flames roar hungrily around you, casting an eerie, flickering light on the chaos. The air is thick with the sound of terrified screams and the relentless boom of destruction. Your breath comes in ragged gasps, your heart pounding furiously, as if it might burst from your chest at any moment.
The rumbling returns, more ominous this time, and you look up to see a fighter jet slicing through the smoke-choked sky. It releases a payload, and your heart clenches in dread. A deafening explosion follows as the bomb strikes, setting your ears ablaze again, and obliterating buildings and scarring the landscape. The screams of the people around you become a haunting symphony of terror. It feels like you’re trapped in an unending nightmare, each second more horrifying than the last.
You pinch yourself hard—so hard it breaks the skin, and a thin trail of blood trickles down. But the pain barely registers. You squeeze your eyes shut, then open them again, desperate to end the nightmare before you. This has to be a trick of the mind, an illusion, right? 
But the horrifying reality remains unchanged, pressing in on you from all sides.
No. It’s not a trick of the mind. 
The stark, horrifying reality sets in as your throat tightens and your body thrums with fear. This is real. This is happening—to you, to your friends—fuck. Your roommates. 
Panic seizes you as you leap off the bed, the house now a fragmented ruin, its sections strewn outside in the chaos. Heart pounding, you scramble through the wreckage, desperately searching for your friends amid the devastation.
Please, let them be okay—you can’t face this alone. 
You’re not prepared for this. 
You can’t do this. 
When the government warned about preparing for a potential war or a nuclear disaster, you thought it was a grim joke. You never believed it would actually happen—never believed it would happen to you. But now, the cold, harsh reality is crashing down around you, and the fear is suffocating.
Tears blur your vision, making it hard to see. The acrid air burns your lungs, and each breath is a struggle. The ringing in your head makes you dizzy. You cough violently, but you press on, driven by a desperate need to find your two roommates. You have to make sure they’re okay, no matter the cost.
A sound of coughing reaches your ears, and a wave of relief washes over you. You spot some of Hana’s belongings scattered on the ground, charred at the edges. The acrid smell of burnt fabric stings your nose. There, sprawled halfway on her bed, is Hana—coughing, crying, her eyes barely open, a picture of despair amid the wreckage.
“Hana?” you croak, your voice sounding strangled and unfamiliar, as if someone else is speaking. The dissonance sends your heart pounding even harder in your chest, the fear and urgency nearly overwhelming you.
She coughs again, crimson droplets falling from her lips, staining the ground beneath her. The sight of her blood on the ground sends a wave of dread through you. Rushing to her side, you assess her quickly; her complexion is pallid, drained of life. Each shallow breath she takes seems an agonizing struggle, as if the very act of breathing is draining her strength.
She struggles to speak, but you gently shake your head, tears streaming down your face. Deep down you know she won’t survive this. Your throat tightens painfully, a lump forming as you grasp the harsh reality. She’s not just a friend; she’s your best friend. Your hands tremble as you reach out, brushing away her tears, feeling the warmth of her blood on your fingertips. You don’t care about the stains. All you want is to offer her comfort, to reassure her even as your own doubts and tears blur your vision. 
How could any of this ever be okay?
How is this your reality?
She leans into your trembling hand, her eyelids fluttering closed as she takes her final breath. A wave of anguish washes over your face, and you collapse beside her, your forehead touching hers. The weight of grief presses down on you, a suffocating blend of fear, helplessness, and nausea.
The distant screams jolt you back to the present, your chest tight with anguish for your best friend. With a heavy heart, you tear yourself away, knowing there’s another roommate who needs your help—Yuri.
Tears sting your eyes as you navigate cautiously through the debris. Your gaze fixates on a pair of shoes—whether they belong to you or Hana doesn’t matter now. Snatching them up, you slide them onto your bare, blistered feet, grateful for any protection from the searing ground and jagged remnants of the house strewn about.
You locate Yuri swiftly amidst the chaos; her bewildered expression a fleeting moment of relief. Your heart leaps at the sight of her alive. Ignoring the acrid smoke that burns your lungs, you pull her into a tight embrace with both of you coughing violently in the toxic air.
“What happened?” Yuri’s voice rasps through fits of coughing. Her wide eyes reflecting fear and confusion, her pallid face etched with disbelief.
“I don’t know,” you cry out desperately, clinging to Yuri as if your life depends on it, unwilling to let go for fear she might vanish into the chaos. Your grip tightens, desperate to shield her from the crumbling world around you.
Then, in the distance, alarms pierce the air with a relentless wail. A chill races down your spine, and as you meet Yuri’s gaze, an unspoken understanding passes between you—this is no accident. War has come.
You never thought this day would come, always dismissing warnings from politicians as distant, improbable threats. But now, as reality crashes down around you, you realize you should have listened. You should have prepared for the worst, braced for the impossible. Panic grips you as you face the stark truth: there’s no escaping it now. What the hell are you supposed to do?
The distant drone of planes echoes through the sky once more, and a chill of dread courses through your trembling body. You never imagined you’d fear the sound of airplanes, but in these shifting times, everything has become a harbinger of uncertainty.
The cityscape around you lies in ruins with buildings shattered and strewn like broken toys. The urgency grips you as you realize the only option left: escape the city. 
Now.
“Yuri, we need to move,” you declare urgently, your eyes wide with dread—for the uncertain future, for your very survival. You curse under your breath, trying to quell the rising panic threatening to consume you.
Yuri’s eyes remain wide, almost vacant, as if she struggles to comprehend the shattered reality that surrounds you both—a new world, unfathomable and bleak.
You snap Yuri out of her stupor, dragging her along as you navigate through the shattered bathroom. The toilet lies in ruins on the ground, shards of the shower surround you like jagged teeth. Despite the chaos, you spot the first aid kit amidst the debris, knowing it will be crucial in this harsh new reality.
Yuri’s voice trembles as she blurts out, “We need to take those pills. In the pouch. I got them just in case. They’re potassium iodide pills and will protect your thyroid if there’s radioactive iodine in the bomb.” You hesitate for a moment, then nod in grim understanding. Snatching the pouch from its battered position, you fumble with it until you locate the pills. Each of you swallows one with a gulp, the bitter taste clinging to your tongue like a grim reminder of the world outside. With a heavy sigh, you tuck the pouch back into the depleted first aid kit.
“We need to find bags and gather anything useful,” you mutter. Your mind races in overdrive as you calculate what essentials are necessary for survival in this new reality.
Amidst the cacophony of screams and the encroaching flames, you and Yuri spring into action, scouring the wreckage for backpacks. They will be easier to carry when every ounce counts. Your hands shake as you rummage through the debris, grabbing water bottles, clothing, and anything else salvageable. Panic sets in, your heart pounding, realizing you need food too, right?
You trudge toward the kitchen, but it’s a wasteland—shattered glass, twisted metal, and the acrid smell of burnt remnants fill the air. Nothing remains salvageable, not even a scrap of food.
Panic surges through you. 
No food? 
How will you survive? 
The reality hits hard: you’ll need to scavenge for food while fleeing the city. The wreckage around you is overwhelming, casting doubt on finding anything edible. How long can a person endure without food? The question gnaws at your mind, amplifying your fear and uncertainty.
Deflated, you sigh, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on you. Survival seems impossible, but you force a hopeful smile as you reunite with Yuri, masking your despair. The world around you is shrouded in darkness and gloom, every step a reminder of the bleakness ahead.
Screams echo all around you, a relentless assault on your senses. You try to block them out, but it’s impossible—the anguished cries of the wounded, the desperate calls for loved ones, the raw agony and fear permeate the air. 
It’s unbearable; a living nightmare.
You ache to grieve for your friend, but there’s no time to stand still, no time to mourn what’s lost. With a heavy heart, you force yourself not to look back at Hana’s lifeless form. Grabbing Yuri’s hand, you push ahead, driven by a single, desperate resolve: to escape this hellish city. And fast.
Your body shivers despite the fires warming the air slightly. It’s still cold in the middle of September. You glance down at yourself, taking in your attire—a satin nightgown, its lacy seams stained with blood. But you can’t afford to care, nor do you have time to change. Your sole focus is to escape this hellscape, to put as much distance as possible between you and the burning city before worrying about anything else.
You pull Yuri away from the remnants of your house, each step deliberate as you navigate the treacherous debris. The ground is a minefield of twisted metal and shattered glass, and you can’t afford an injury. 
Your heart races and your body shivers uncontrollably, but you force yourself to push forward. The streets are a nightmarish landscape of charred bodies, gutted buildings, and smoldering wreckage. The air is thick with the sounds of anguished cries and desperate shouts. Shattered windows, jagged glass, and twisted metal litter your path as flames roar high into the darkened sky.
You can’t fathom how quickly everything spiraled into chaos. In mere seconds, then minutes, the world you knew disintegrated into a living nightmare. 
Your legs feel like lead, your mind foggy and exhausted. The cold, smoke-laden air clings to your lungs, but you force yourself to press on. Yuri’s hand in yours is the only anchor in this hellish new reality, a faint source of calm amid the chaos.
Thankfully, you live on the outskirts of the city. 
Normally, you’d discern it was nighttime just by looking at the sky, but now, the sky is pitch black and choked with smoke. You avert your gaze from the devastated city and look toward what seems like a serene, calm direction. Is it an illusion, a cruel trick of your mind? 
Desperation tugs at you, urging you toward this perceived sanctuary, a beacon of safety amidst the chaos.
Yuri coughs harshly behind you, and you spin around, dread tightening your chest as she spits up blood. You try to reassure yourself, though deep down, you know it’s futile.
“I don’t want to die,” Yuri pants between coughs, her voice strained with fear. You grip her hand tighter, desperate to offer reassurance in a world where safety is a fleeting illusion.
“You’re not going to die,” you assert, the words tasting bitter on your tongue, a feeble attempt to dispel the pervasive fear. “We’ll find a safe place, find some food, and make it through— everything will be fine.” You try to infuse conviction into your voice, but the hollowness echoes back at you, revealing the truth you dare not acknowledge.
But maybe if you keep telling yourself that everything is fine enough times, reality will bend to your desperate wishes?
You’ve been walking for what feels like an eternity, your sense of time warped by the perpetual darkness above. There’s no sky to gauge the hour anymore— gone as the stars that once were.
Your feet ache, battered and throbbing with exhaustion, begging for respite. The need for rest weighs heavily on you, but the city’s relentless grip refuses to release you. The daunting truth forces a weary sigh from your lips.
Yuri trembles, tears mingling with the grime on her cheeks, and you can’t shake the thought that she might be falling ill. Dread gnaws at you—what if it’s something fatal?
Your legs refuse to carry you any further, and staying exposed on the desolate road is a dangerous gamble. You’ve sensed shadows trailing your every move—what do they seek? Your clothes, the rations you don’t have, your very survival kit? You dare not linger to discover their intentions, yet exhaustion demands a pause. You must rest, even as paranoia grips your weary mind, hoping for a brief refuge to steady your faltering steps.
Adrenaline surges, urging you to hasten your steps, desperate to lose the shadowy figures trailing behind. The cityscape thins as you approach its outskirts. The dwindling buildings offer fewer places to conceal yourselves. Despite the fewer options, you’re determined to evade capture. With a sharp turn, you pull a breathless Yuri around the corner, heart pounding in sync with the echoing footsteps behind you.
You slip into a ravaged boutique, its shattered door gaping wide for easy entry. The dim interior reveals racks of torn clothing and broken mannequins strewn across the floor. You guide Yuri deeper inside, settling her on the dusty tiles. Her pallid face stands out starkly in the oppressive darkness, a chilling reminder of the perilous world outside. The thought of losing another friend tonight claws at your gut, urging you to find safety and respite in this decaying sanctuary.
“How are you holding up?” you inquire, your voice tinged with apprehension. Despite your fear of the response, you must know.
She trembles, her voice quivering. “I’m not doing well,” she admits. Her eyes wide with unspoken dread. “I don’t think I’ll make it.”
“Of course you will,” you choke out, your voice cracking with emotion, unable to confront the specter of death. The memory of Hana’s bloodied face flashes vividly in your mind, tears tracing the path down your grimy cheeks. Why must this nightmare persist?
“You’re a lousy liar, you know?” she quips weakly, a grim chuckle escaping her lips as she coughs up blood, wiping her mouth with a trembling hand. She studies the red stains on her palm with resignation, exhaling heavily.
You furrow your brow. Deep down, you know your attempts at optimism are feeble at best. In your friend group, you’ve always been the pragmatic realist, but now, you’ll play the role of hopeful optimist if it means coaxing a smile from Yuri’s pale face. You bite back any further words, aware that Yuri can read you like a book, predictable as always.
You slump onto the frigid tile floor of the store, grateful for a brief respite from the relentless march. The cold seeps through your clothes, a bitter reminder of the world outside, but your weary feet finally find a moment’s reprieve.
You’re uncertain how much time Yuri has left, but you’re determined to muster every ounce of strength to lead both of you to safety, far from the chaos—this inferno of a city, this relentless war that has begun.
How long will this last?
The shuffle of broken glass on the tile sends a shiver down your spine, sharpening your senses. Someone approaches, and you’re defenseless. Panic grips you—this is bad. Very bad.
Footsteps echo ominously, a chilling reminder of imminent danger. Yuri’s gaze meets yours, wide with fear and tears threatening to spill. The certainty settles in—this is how you die.
A looming silhouette emerges—a figure cloaked in darkness; their presence ominous and foreboding. Dread creeps up your spine as you realize the danger before you.
You scramble backward, but the shelves halt your retreat, trapping you in a corner with no escape. Panic surges as time slips away—your feet ache, and Yuri’s condition weighs heavily. The man advances, his silence more menacing than any threat, his cold, unyielding gaze fixed upon you.
Uncertain of the stranger’s intentions—murder or something worse? Your heart races, adrenaline surges through your veins as he moves closer. In a split-second decision, survival instincts take over. You lunge, sinking your teeth into his arm, tasting the metallic tang of blood. Like a desperate animal, you bite down harder, unrelenting until he screams in agony and collapses to the ground, clutching his injured limb.
“You fucking bitch!” he spits, struggling to rise despite the pain.
You hiss through clenched teeth, rising to your feet, closing the distance to charge at him, a wild glint in your eyes. “Try me again, and I’ll bite your fucking dick off.” The threat hangs heavy in the air, punctuated by the burning cityscape beyond. Your blood simmers with adrenaline, a primal urge overshadowing your usual self-control. You’re not yourself anymore, but one thing is clear; you’re more than willing to follow through.
He flinches, a flicker of fear crossing his face, and satisfaction courses through you. Your grin widens as he scrambles backward toward the shattered entrance, then finally turns and bolts, disappearing into the smoke-laden darkness.
You exhale sharply, unaware you’d been holding your breath. Returning to Yuri, still hunched over on the floor, clutching her stomach, you kneel beside her, heart pounding in dread as you examine her stomach.
Carefully prying her hand away, the sticky warmth confirms your fear— blood, seeping from her abdomen. Swiftly lifting her nightshirt, you reveal a small yet troubling wound. Fumbling through your backpack, your hands find the first aid kit amidst the chaos, extracting antiseptic to cleanse the injury. With trembling hands, you cover it with gauze and secure it with tape, knowing it’s a temporary fix— but this will have to do for now.
“I think debris hit me when the first bomb struck,” she explains, her breath ragged and filled with pain.
“It’s okay. It’s not that bad,” you manage to say, forcing a smile that fails to reach your eyes. Who were you kidding anyway?
You settle beside her, allowing her head to rest on your shoulder. “Let’s rest. You sleep, and I’ll keep watch,” you murmur, scanning the shadows with wary eyes.
Her head nestles against your shoulder and neck. “But you need rest too,” she whispers. Her voice is barely audible over the distant sounds of chaos echoing through the shattered cityscape.
“I’ll sleep later. Don’t worry about it; just go to sleep,” you command, the edge in your voice betraying the fear and exhaustion gnawing at you. You didn’t mean to sound so stern, but the cold reality of the situation weighs heavily on your shoulders. You wish someone could offer you the same reassurance— tell you this is all just a bad dream. Soon you’ll wake up and everything will be as it was.
Or for someone to tell you this is all just a movie, and you’re just an actress playing your part in some bizarre doomsday flick. But deep down, you know you’re no actress, this is no movie— sadly, this is real life, and you’re just a twenty-nine-year-old woman with a dead-end job.
Guess you don’t have that job at the café anymore. There’s probably no café left standing. The place likely went up in flames like much else in the city.
You listen to Yuri’s breathing, its slow cadence a brief respite from the cacophony outside—planes droning, people fleeing, and the distant echoes of screams. In just a few hours, these sounds have become the new normal, yet each one still sends a shiver down your spine.
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You keep vigil through the restless hours as you had assured Yuri. Time blurs in the suffocating darkness, making it impossible to discern whether it’s night or day. Hours seem to stretch like endless tendrils of despair. With dawn or dusk lost to the smoke-filled horizon, you gently rouse Yuri, steeling yourself to resume your desperate quest for safety.
Yuri’s voice, usually vibrant and full of life, now emerges as a subdued whisper. “So it wasn’t just a nightmare…” Her words hang heavy in the air, laced with the grim realization that this dystopian nightmare has become your bleak reality.
“I’m afraid so,” you admit, your voice echoing in the desolate store. “We have to keep moving. Get out of the city.” Your limbs ache with every movement, a constant reminder of the night’s horrors. Yawning, you rise and gently pull Yuri to her feet. Before venturing out, you take a sip of water from your dwindling supply, feeling hunger gnaw at your stomach. Food is a distant luxury now, replaced by the urgency of survival.
Stepping out of the store, you survey the aftermath; where once vibrant flames danced, now only smoldering ruins remain. The landscape is awash in gray and ash falling like snow, towering skyscrapers reduced to skeletal frames or gaping maws of destruction. Smoke billows thick and acrid, clawing at your throat with every breath, forcing a cough to escape. This city, once teeming with life, now lies desolate and unrecognizable—a shattered testament to a world irreparably changed. This was your home, but now it’s a forsaken wasteland, a haunting reminder of the relentless march of destruction closing in around you.
If you manage to escape this city, this will probably never be your home again.
Pressing onward, you drag a weary, ghostly-pale Yuri in tow. Each step feels like a battle against the weight of the world collapsing around you, but you refuse to relent. The streets stretch out before you, barren and haunting, a maze of debris and ominous shadows. You move cautiously, every sound magnified in the eerie silence of the ruined cityscape, knowing that survival hinges on reaching safety, no matter how small the steps.
You walk and walk. The road stretches endlessly into the horizon, an unrelenting path of despair. Gradually, the landscape shifts from the shattered remnants of the city to the bleak desolation of nature, though nothing remains green. Everything is gray and charred, the outskirts bombed into an unrecognizable wasteland. Each step is a journey through the aftermath of destruction, a grim testament to the world that once was.
Body heavy and feet blistered, you can barely drag yourself forward, and Yuri is faring even worse. You decide to stop, the weight of exhaustion forcing your hand. The world around you is silent save for the distant echoes of disaster. You find a small, secluded spot to relieve yourself, then reach into your backpacks for the precious water bottles. The liquid is a lifeline in this scorched, desolate landscape.
“I think I’m dying,” Yuri pants as she collapses onto a stone, her face ghostly pale, lips tinged with blue, eyes glassy and distant. The sight sends a cold lump forming in your throat, a suffocating denial choking you because you can’t accept this as reality. It has to be just a stupid fucking nightmare.
You glance at your arm where you pinched yourself yesterday. The tiny scar is a mocking reminder of your futile hope. You barely register the pain; all you want is for this nightmare to end, for the world to return to a semblance of normalcy.
“You’re not dying,” you insist, voice trembling as you crouch down to meet her gaze. But her eyes are distant, unfocused, as if she’s already slipping away. A tear escapes down your cheek, cutting through the grime of this hellish reality.
“Stop lying, bitch,” she hisses, her voice a fragile blend of defiance and despair. She rolls her eyes in mock anger, the gesture marred by the blood she spits up, staining the ground like a cruel reminder of reality.
“I can’t walk anymore, and my stomach hurts so bad,” she pants, tears streaming down her dirt-streaked face as she clutches her wound. Blood seeps through her shirt, a grim testament to her worsening state. You glance up at the sky, a bleak, gray expanse that offers no solace. Clenching your fist, you rage silently at the faceless enemies responsible for this devastation. It’s not just your friends; it’s the entire city, maybe the whole country. Fear gnaws at you as you realize you have no idea of the world’s state. Is it just your country? The entire world? You curse yourself for not packing a radio to stay informed.
You’re wondering if there would be any information on your phone, but you don’t want to use it, because you don’t have anything to charge it with. You want to save it for extreme emergencies. 
“We’re finally out of the city,” you say, trying to infuse your voice with hope. “Maybe we can make it to another house down the road that can help us.” The words feel hollow, and you both know the truth: Yuri isn’t going to make it that far. Her labored breathing and the pallor of her skin betray the grim reality.
She coughs up more blood, almost choking. “We both know the next house is in the next city, over a hundred kilometers away,” she rasps, each word a painful reminder of the hopelessness stretching before you.
You lower your gaze to the grimy, ash-covered road. She’s right, of course. It’s likely far more than a few hundred kilometers, and the trek ahead promises to be an endless, harrowing journey through desolation.
Ashes swirl in the air like snow, a haunting reminder of your ravaged city. For a fleeting moment, you glance back, taking in the sight of crumbling buildings, smoldering remnants, and the acrid stench of smoke that clings to your senses. The scene turns your stomach, and you double over beside Yuri, bile rising in your throat, the bitter taste lingering like a grim testament to the city’s devastation.
“I’m freezing… Will you stay with me? Wrap your arms around me?” she pleads, her voice trembling with cold and fear, tears welling in her eyes, mirrored in yours. You nod silently, your heart heavy with the weight of what’s to come. She collapses onto the ground, and you join her, enveloping her frail, shivering form in your arms, seeking warmth amidst the chilling winds that whisper of desolation and despair.
“Promise me you’ll do everything you can to get to safety, okay?” she stutters, tears streaming down her cheeks, mixing with yours. Your heart breaks because you don’t want this reality. You can’t bear to lose another friend, but you’re helpless. You’re no doctor, and Yuri’s injuries are beyond your ability to heal. It’s a cruel truth that gnaws at your soul. Anger surges through you, directed at whoever orchestrated this devastation upon your friends, your city, your homeland. This world has become a cold and merciless place.
You’ve always been an ugly crier, and this is no different, but neither of you cares as tears stream uncontrollably down your faces. “I’ll try my best,” you manage to choke out, the words catching in your throat amidst the despair.
“When I’m gone…,” she begins, and a chill runs through your body at her words, “will you drag my body over to those bushes?” Her voice is strained, barely above a whisper, as if even speaking about her own death is too much to bear.
Even though your voice is hoarse, your wailing echoes through the desolate landscape, a mournful cry that seems to merge with the howling wind. You nod silently, tears streaming down your face, blurring the bleak surroundings into a haunting blur of despair and loss.
“Thank you,” she whispers, her voice barely audible as she lays her head down on your shoulder. Her breaths are faint and fleeting, each one a fragile thread in the unraveling tapestry of her life. You hold your breath, feeling the weight of each passing moment as her heartbeat dwindles, a painful echo of the world falling silent around you.
Your fists clench involuntarily, a futile attempt to grasp the reality unfolding before you: sitting beside your dying friend in this bleak, shattered world. This isn’t how life was supposed to be—witnessing the unraveling of everything you hold dear. You never signed up for this torment, this heart-wrenching despair that consumes you. 
Why? 
The question lingers like a haunting echo in the desolation.
Yuri’s breathing slows to a crawl, each breath a strained whisper of life. You turn your gaze to her face, her eyelids fluttering faintly—she’s clinging to existence. The agony etched on her features is unbearable, and a chilling realization settles in: maybe death is a mercy in this ravaged world. Her suffering is too much to endure, and part of you wishes she could escape it. It’s a cruel acceptance, knowing that letting go might be the kindest act left, even though you really don’t want her to go.
The silence closes in like a shroud, burnt leaves swirling in the air, whipped by the relentless wind. It’s eerie, the smoke and ash embracing everything. Your hand seeks Yuri’s, fingers tracing to her wrists, and there, you check for her pulse—absent, lost amidst the desolation.
You scream and cry, heedless of any who might hear amidst the desolate landscape. This world, so callous and unforgiving, engulfs you. Tears cascade down like a torrent, emotions unchecked. You gasp for air in the acrid, ashen atmosphere, your body trembling uncontrollably.
She’s gone. Another friend, lost to this merciless world.
You sit there, by the side of the road, time slipping through your fingers like sand in a storm. Hours pass, maybe more, the world reduced to desolation around you. A lone figure passed by earlier, casting a glance your way, but the urgency of survival drove him on, leaving you and your dead friend to the merciless elements. The city’s ruins loom in the distance behind you, a reminder of the chaos that has consumed everything.
You know you must move, but before you leave, there’s a promise to fulfill for Yuri.
You relieve yourself and step back onto the road, eyes fixed on the distant horizon that seems miraculously untouched by the ravages of war. That glimmer of hope pulls you forward. You have to reach it. No matter the distance, no matter the obstacles, you must get there. 
It’s your only chance.
You walk and walk—days blur into weeks. Your clothes hang off your frame, tattered and too big. Bombings have become a constant backdrop, each explosion a distant rumble you barely acknowledge. The earth’s violent shudders no longer faze you. Hunger gnaws at you, a relentless companion, its grip tightening until you can’t even remember your last meal. Water, your only steadfast ally, has kept you moving; without it, you’d have long since fallen.
You trudge along the desolate highway, the city a distant speck on the horizon behind you. You have no sense of how far you’ve traveled, only that the remnants of your home have shrunk to a mere dot in your vision. The road stretches endlessly ahead, a bleak reminder of the ground yet to cover.
Dizziness is your constant companion now, your throat is parched as the Sahara despite your efforts to hydrate. Water is scarce, and you’ve been rationing it for days. Hope feels like a distant memory, and though the elusive horizon you’ve been chasing for weeks appears closer, it still seems maddeningly out of reach.
Your body feels like lead, your feet swollen and throbbing with every step. 
Sleep is a distant memory, haunted away by visions of blood-streaked faces, final breaths, and echoing cries. Bloodshot eyes and a disheveled appearance mark your struggle; you’re still in your tattered nightdress, stained with blood and reeking of fear and sweat. 
No food, no shower, just the relentless march through this wasteland.
You’ve lost track of time—is it still September? 
The biting cold cuts through you, your torn and ruined shoes barely offering any protection. You trudge onward, desperate to find shelter, weary of hiding in the bushes from strangers who might wish you harm. Paranoia grips you; every rustle in the distance, every shadow makes you jump. Trust is a luxury you can’t afford. You feel like you’re unraveling, teetering on the edge of sanity.
The roses have withered, frost seeping into your bones. The birds no longer sing at dawn, and the grass by the roadside shrivels to brown. In the encroaching darkness, the cries of the forsaken echo—abandoned by fate and by man.
When your eyes land on a solitary house down a side street off the main road, you can hardly believe it. You’re nowhere near your end goal, the neighboring city, yet here it is—a lonesome house in the middle of fucking nowhere. You chuckle, convinced you’ve lost your mind. Why would there be a house out here, untouched by the chaos? You blink repeatedly, but the house remains. Your feet carry you forward, despite your spinning head and the jumbled mess of thoughts in your mind.
The house, partially concealed by tall trees and lush bushes miraculously untouched by bombs, seems like a relic from a forgotten world. An old jeep, battered but intact, sits beside the porch with its white picket fence. You approach cautiously, every step feeling surreal, and lift your hand to knock. Your bloody knuckles leave crimson smears on the pristine white door, a stark reminder of the nightmare you can’t escape.
You lose track of time standing there, every second stretching into an eternity, before the door is abruptly ripped open. You find yourself staring down the barrel of a rifle.
“Who are you?” a male voice demands, harsh and suspicious, but the words barely register. Your vision blurs, darkness encroaching, and the last thing you feel is the hard impact of the porch floorboards against your head as you collapse.
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Slowly, your eyes flutter open, your eyelids feeling like lead, gritty with exhaustion. Your vision swims, a blur of muted colors and shadowy shapes. You blink, trying to bring the world into focus. Through the haze, you make out a figure sitting on a chair not far from you. Panic grips your chest. 
Fuck. 
Where are you?
Your pulse quickens, and you jolt into a sitting position with a startled gasp, blinking as your vision finally clears; you find yourself in a bed, surrounded by bandages and the sterile scent of antiseptic. You’re in someone’s house—a man’s house, and he's seated across from you, watching intently.
He sports long, unkempt black hair that curls at the ends, paired with a ragged shirt jacket, torn jeans, and a plain black tee. His knees jitter nervously, as if he can’t find solace or calm in this chaotic world.
He sits clutching the rifle that had greeted your face before you blacked out. A cold shiver courses through you, fear gripping your heart at the thought of imminent danger. But if he intended to harm you, wouldn’t he have done it already?
He clears his throat, his voice cutting through the silence like a blade, harsh and demanding. His eyebrow arches in suspicion as he growls, “Who are you?”
His steely demeanor makes your throat tighten, but you swallow your fear and force out the words. “I’m Y/N. I live in the city. Well… I lived there, before…” Your voice trails off as the weight of your new reality presses down on you. Nervously, you bite your lip, eyes darting around the room. You’re in a bedroom—king-size bed, you assume. High open shelves are stocked with toilet paper, dry food, canned goods, plastic water bottles, multiple first aid kits, and warm blankets. The sight of these supplies leaves you gaping. “Are you a prepper?” you ask, disbelief tinged with a sliver of hope.
He scoffs, a bitter edge to his voice, clearly unimpressed by your assumption. “I’m not a prepper,” he snaps, eyes narrowing as he tightens his grip on the rifle. “Now, tell me what you’re doing here, unless you want me to shoot you.”
You gulp, your throat dry and tight— the cold steel of his rifle isn’t just for show. His steely eyes tell you he’s a man who will follow through on his threats. You need to speak quickly, clearly. “I’m fleeing from the city,” you sputter in a rush, words tumbling over each other. “My home is destroyed. I haven’t eaten in god knows how long, I’m thirsty, and I just want a place to rest and stay away from the war.” Your breath catches, lightheaded from the effort.
His eyebrows arch in surprise, the hard edge in his voice softening to a wary curiosity. “Have you been walking since the first bomb hit?” he asks, the malice momentarily replaced by a flicker of genuine intrigue.
You nod, exhaustion settling deep in your bones despite your unconscious respite. Time feels warped and meaningless. “How long have I been out?” you ask, the reality of your situation hitting harder as you notice you’re still in your tattered nightgown, a haunting reminder that it couldn’t have been long.
“Only an hour,” he replies, his voice a rough whisper. “I cleaned some of your scrapes and wounds.” He gestures to your arms and legs, now meticulously bandaged, the clean white stark against your dirt-streaked skin. The care feels almost alien in this ravaged world.
“Thank you,” you manage, offering a small, weary smile. The words feel foreign on your tongue. Despite the rifle and his guarded demeanor, you feel a sliver of tension ease in this fragile sanctuary.
“So you haven’t eaten anything in three weeks?” he suddenly shouts, disbelief cutting through his gruff exterior. His eyes scan you from head to toe, and you feel exposed, vulnerable under his intense scrutiny, making you squirm.
“Three weeks? That can’t be right... Maybe a week,” you mutter, your voice small as you fidget with the duvet covering your legs. You glance down at the bloodstained sheets, wondering why he placed you in the bed with your filthy clothes. But then again, in this shattered world, stained sheets are the least of your worries.
“It’s been almost three weeks since the bombings started,” he says, placing the rifle beside his chair. “I’m Yoongi, by the way. Sorry about pointing my rifle at you—it’s just...there’ve been people trying to raid my supplies.” He scratches his head, a nervous gesture that contrasts with the cold, hard edge of survival in his voice.
A sudden knock on the door startles both of you. You shiver on the bed, wide-eyed and afraid. Yoongi’s expression hardens as he swiftly picks up his rifle, eyes narrowing with suspicion. “Friends of yours?” he asks, his voice low and tense.
Your eyes dart down to your trembling hands as a tear escapes, tracing a path down your grime-streaked face. “No,” you whisper, voice cracking, “Don’t have any more of those left.”
He notices the sadness in your eyes but remains silent, rising to his feet and heading toward the front door. You follow, a compulsion driven by a mix of fear and curiosity. As you move from the bedroom through a narrow hallway, you glimpse an open living room and kitchen space before reaching the door. Yoongi raises his rifle, mirroring the moment you first encountered him. 
Before he can react, the door bursts open, slamming into him and causing him to stumble back. A wild-eyed man, covered in dirt and smeared with blood, lunges inside. His crazed gaze locks onto you as he charges forward, a feral desperation in his movements.
“Give me food or I’ll kill you!” he shouts, launching himself at your exhausted body. You hit the floor with a heavy thud, groaning in pain, but adrenaline kicks in, sharpening your senses. As you claw at his skin, the man, wild-eyed and desperate, seems beyond reason, driven by hunger and survival—much like yourself. 
But you need to get him off you. 
Your heart pounds in your chest as you use your legs to kick him in the groin. He hisses in pain, and you seize the moment, tumbling him over. His back hits the floor with a sickening thud. You straddle him, screaming and hissing, your hands instinctively finding his throat. You press down, your vision narrowing to the singular focus of survival, fueled by desperation and fear in a world gone mad.
He fights you for control, his nails digging into your sides, tearing your nightgown. In a violent twist, he’s on top of you again, pinning you to the floor. You struggle against his weight, every muscle screaming, the cold, hard surface pressing into your spine. The room spins around you, and the desperation in his eyes mirrors your own.
But then, he’s yanked off you, dragged by his hair, Yoongi’s grip unyielding. The intruder’s wild eyes meet yours for a fleeting moment before Yoongi raises his rifle. A deafening bang is sent through the room, and the man’s body crumples. Blood splatters everywhere, painting the floor in a macabre pattern. The scent of gunpowder mixes with the iron tang of blood, and the room falls into an eerie silence, save for the ringing in your ears.
You scream, the sound raw and primal, echoing in the suffocating silence. Your heart hammers against your ribs, each beat threatening to choke you. Nausea churns in your gut as the reality of what just happened slams into you. Who the fuck is this guy? He just killed a man! Disbelief crashes over you, and fear grips your chest like a vise. The room spins, your breaths coming in rapid, shallow gasps as you teeter on the edge of hyperventilation, panic surging through your veins like ice.
You gasp for air, eyes wide with terror, as Yoongi throws the rifle to the floor. The stranger’s body lies motionless in a spreading pool of blood, a stark reminder of the brutality that surrounds you. Shivering uncontrollably, you try to crawl away from Yoongi and the corpse, each movement a struggle against your own paralyzing fear. Tears blur your vision as you sob, feeling like you’ve just traded one nightmare for another, the weight of this dystopian hell pressing down on you from all sides.
Yoongi approaches you cautiously, his voice low and soothing. “Relax, everything is okay,” he reassures, his hands extended in a calming gesture, fingers splayed to show he means no harm. Despite his gentle demeanor, you retreat further, wary and unsure if his kindness is a facade. The air is thick with tension, echoing the uncertainty of this dystopian world where trust is a luxury long lost.
“Okay? You just shot a man!” Your frantic scream echoes off the walls, each word laced with fear and disbelief as you feel the cold concrete pressing against your back. Panic rises, clawing at your throat. There’s nowhere left to go; you’re trapped, cornered in this unforgiving world.
“Yeah, he was going to kill us and steal my food.” his voice steady, as if justifying his actions were routine in this harsh reality.
You stare at him in disbelief, your gasping intensifying. “So that means he deserves to die?” The accusation hangs heavy in the air, tears streaming down your cheeks in rapid succession. Dizziness swirls through you, fingers tingling with adrenaline and fear.
“Relax,” he says again, his voice soothing yet unsettling as he moves closer.
You refuse to ease up. You want him gone, and you want this goddamn nightmare to end. You yearn for normalcy, for everything to revert to how it was before. You don’t belong here with this Yoongi, a stranger turned killer. How the hell are you going to escape this mess?
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he says, his voice steady yet tinged with an edge of authority. “If I wanted you dead, you’d be gone by now.”
His reassurances fall flat against the pounding of your heart. You struggle to process his words; your mind feels clouded, suffocated. Each breath is a battle, your chest constricting with a pain so intense, it threatens to overwhelm you.
“Please, calm down. You’re having a panic attack and you have to breathe calmly,” he urges, crouching before you. Your eyes widen with fear, anticipating harm from this stranger. Yet, as his warm hand gently rests on your shoulder, its reassuring weight steadies your erratic breaths. Tears still streaming, you gasp for air, but gradually, your breathing steadies, the tension in your chest easing with each controlled inhale.
“That’s good. Listen, I’m not gonna hurt you,” he assures, his gaze piercing into yours to convey sincerity. You nod hesitantly. Despite the fact that he’s taken a life, his actions in tending to your wounds suggest he harbors no ill intent toward you. Surely, he wouldn’t go through all that trouble if his intentions were sinister, would he?
“I can’t believe you killed a man, just like that…” you mutter in disbelief, your voice tinged with horror. 
“Would you rather he killed us?” he asks bluntly, a shrug punctuating his matter-of-fact tone.
“No,” you reply, the certainty in your voice belying the tumult of emotions inside you.
“Look. It was either him or us. I’d rather live. This is just how life is now, I guess,” he says solemnly, rising to his feet and striding past the lifeless body toward the kitchen. He returns with biscuits and a water bottle. “Here, eat some crackers and drink some water. You have to start slow if you haven’t eaten in weeks,” he advises gently, handing you the items. Your fingers brush against his as you take them.
“You can take a shower; it’s in the bedroom. While you do that, I’ll get rid of the body.”
You nod, fingers trembling as you pry open the crackers and take a hesitant bite. They taste dry and unfamiliar, like they’ve been preserved for years. Your stomach churns in protest, unaccustomed to solid food after weeks of deprivation. Sipping water, you set both items down beside you. 
“Thank you,” you manage to whisper, offering him a small, grateful smile, relief flooding through you as your heart finally settles into a steady rhythm.
“No problem. You can grab some of my clothes in the bathroom. That poor nightgown isn’t doing much to cover you,” he says with a slight chuckle. You glance down and realize half of your right breast is exposed, your hands instinctively flying to shield it from view.
You’re embarrassed, cheeks burning, and you scramble up from the floor, not saying a word because the humiliation is overwhelming. Your breast has been exposed all this time, likely since the scuffle with the man, and Yoongi didn’t mention it until now? You rush back to the bedroom, pushing away thoughts of Yoongi seeing you half-naked and what he might do with the body in his living room.
In the bedroom, you easily locate the in-suite bathroom at the end; it boasts a large bathtub, a sleek shower, a toilet, and a spacious sink, all in matte black with subtle white accents, strikingly minimalistic. Approaching the bathtub, you turn on the water, feeling its warmth soothe your battered hand. It’s a strange sensation, one you haven’t felt in what seems like an eternity, and a rush of anticipation flutters in your chest at the prospect of a proper shower. As the tub fills, you shed your clothes, discarding the nightgown into the garbage—it’s beyond salvaging. Glancing at yourself in the mirror, what meets your eyes is a stranger, not the person you once were but a mere shell. Your skin is streaked with grime, your face swollen, especially beneath your eyes, and your hair wild and unruly.
Finally, the tub fills to the brim, and you shut off the stream, testing the temperature with your hand—it’s perfect, pleasantly hot, promising a thorough cleanse. Eagerly, you step into the water, noting the array of shower bottles within reach. You grab one, twisting off the cap to release a refreshing minty scent that envelops you. The shampoo and conditioner bear the same invigorating fragrance. Yoongi must have a thing for mint, you think to yourself with a faint smile, grateful for this small comfort after enduring the trials of the past three weeks. 
The notion that so much time has passed feels surreal, almost impossible to grasp.
You let the warm water envelop and soothe your weary body, a brief respite from the horrors that haunt you—before the bombings, before this relentless war. The shower gel lathers as you wash away the grime, shampooing your hair with a sense of renewal. For a fleeting moment, the sensation of cleansing almost allows you to forget the devastation that brought you here. 
But guilt grips you tightly, a suffocating embrace. You feel the weight of being alive when your friends are gone, their lives snuffed out mercilessly. The simple joy of a bath, forever denied to them, brings tears to your eyes, mingling with the water surrounding you. 
You can’t stand to stay in the tub any longer, despite not feeling physically clean. Quiet sobs escape your lips as you stand, chest tight with sorrow for what has been taken from you, and for what you can never reclaim.
Hastily, you snatch a gray towel, wrapping it around your shivering frame as tears trace silent paths down your cheeks in the mirror’s reflection. The ache for your lost friends deepens with each droplet that falls. Drying off with hurried strokes, the plush towel offers some comfort against your skin. You manage to towel-dry your hair as best as you can, seeking normalcy in the routine.
Then, a glimmer catches your eye—a toothbrush. The realization hits hard: you haven’t brushed your teeth in three weeks. Your gaze darts around the bathroom, finding only one brush. Is it gross to use someone else’s? Disgusting, maybe? You search the cabinets in vain for a spare, but finding none, you convince yourself it’s okay. You’ll sanitize it thoroughly, make it right. With meticulous care, you rinse the toothbrush under the stream, scrubbing it clean before applying toothpaste. 
The brush feels foreign in your mouth, yet it scrubs away the layers of neglect, refreshing your senses in a way you hadn’t realized you craved.
When you finish, you step out into the bedroom, scanning Yoongi’s dresser for any clothing that might fit. Not expecting to find undergarments, you ponder going without or resorting to his if necessary. Pulling on a pair of gray sweatpants, you cover your legs before grabbing a black t-shirt and slipping it over your head. Spotting a pair of cozy socks nearby, you hastily put them on and make your way into the living room, the unfamiliar garments a stark reminder of the upheaval your life has become.
You step into the living room, confronted by an unsettling contrast of cleanliness and calm amidst the recent violence. It’s as if the room has been meticulously scrubbed of any trace of the fatal encounter that unfolded mere moments ago. You can’t help but question whether Yoongi is unnervingly efficient at erasing the aftermath of death or if you’ve lost track of time while in the bath, leaving you to wonder what else might have transpired in your absence.
You spot a door tucked away in the dimly lit living room, its handle cold to the touch. Slowly, you push it open, and a shiver snakes down your spine at the grim sight that greets you. “Are those... bodies?” you choke out, a mix of revulsion and horror tightening your throat as you gaze upon the macabre pile in the corner of the yard. Yoongi turns around, his expression unreadable, having added the latest stranger to what appears to be a makeshift graveyard of those he’s encountered before you.
“Yeah?” he shrugs nonchalantly, as if it’s inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.
“How many people have you killed?” you demand, hands on your hips, trying to steady your nerves.
He pauses, the silence stretching between you, each moment heightening the weight of his answer. “Five,” he finally admits, his voice carrying the weight of each life taken in this unforgiving world.
“Five?! That’s a lot— five too many,” you spit out in disbelief, the weight of his confession sinking into your bones. You can’t stand to dwell on it any longer. Death surrounds you like a shroud, and you’ve seen enough to last a lifetime. Turning away, you hear Yoongi’s footsteps approach from behind, each step a reminder of the grim reality you now face.
“Like I told you before, it was me or them. I was only defending myself and my home,” he shrugs nonchalantly, pushing the door open as you follow him into the living room. He settles onto the couch, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air, casting a shadow over the pristine room that belies the violence it has witnessed.
“Did you have a nice shower? You smell nice,” he smiles warmly, pulling a blanket over his legs.
You gape at him—how can he be so calm? He just killed a man, and now he acts like it’s no big deal, no remorse, no hint of the violence that just transpired.
“I smell like you, and yes, your tub is very nice. Your clothes too. Thank you,” you reply, sitting down on the couch, keeping a deliberate distance between you. After what you’ve witnessed, it feels safer that way.
“You really held your own back there, with the guy. It was kinda hot,” he says, his tone as casual as discussing the weather or deciding what to eat.
Your mouth hangs open. Is this guy serious? 
“Something’s seriously wrong with you if you find that hot. Please don’t tell me you’re aroused or something. I’m not touching you or helping you with your boner—I barely know you,” you say, crossing your arms defiantly across your chest.
He chuckles, a deep, resonant sound that reverberates through the room, a stark contrast to the desolation outside. You gaze at him, stunned by the unexpected display of humor. 
“I’m not aroused and if I did have a boner, I could take care of it myself, don’t you worry. I just respect women who can fend for themselves,” he says with a smile, settling deeper into the worn cushions of the couch.
“Well, I know self-defense. My dad drilled it into me as a kid and teenager. Have you seen how messed up the world is? Even before this war or whatever it is, men were always preying on women or men, lurking in shadows, stalking, abducting them—doing who knows what. I had to learn to protect myself,” you explain, watching him nod in understanding, his eyes reflecting a grim acknowledgment of the world’s harsh realities.
“That’s good. Oh, I forgot to mention, I left your backpack next to the couch—by the way, you look good in my clothes,” he grins, rising from the couch and moving over to the kitchen.
“Want some dinner? I’ve got leftovers we can reheat,” he mumbles from the kitchen. You nod silently, your mind elsewhere as you walk over to your backpack. You hardly remember what kind of stuff you grabbed from home—hopefully clothes, maybe some underwear would be nice. Digging through it, you find only two pairs of leggings, three shirts, and a bra. Well, it seems like unlucky is just your color.
Doesn’t matter, you can go without panties. It might be a problem when your period comes, but that’s a worry for another day.
You hear a beep from the kitchen and join Yoongi there. Whatever he’s reheated is ready, and you take a seat at the round table positioned between the kitchen and the living room. Yoongi retrieves cold water from the fridge.
“So, you’re not a prepper, but you’ve stockpiled enough to survive indefinitely. Why?” you inquire between cautious bites, mindful of not agitating your stomach.
“Didn’t you listen to the government? They told us to prepare for anything, just in case. And I prefer to be ready. Call me a prepper if you want,” he shrugs, spearing his food with his fork.
“I noticed all your shampoo in the bathroom. What else have you stocked up on?” you ask, genuinely curious. You hadn’t prepared for any of this, refusing to believe something like a war could happen in your country.
“I’ve got spare clothes, solar-powered batteries, extra fuel for the truck, a backup generator for power outages, and even a well in the backyard in case the water supply is cut,” he lists with a chuckle. But your eyes widen almost to the point of popping out of their sockets; you’ve never encountered anyone so thoroughly prepared.
“What’s your deal then? You live out here by yourself in the middle of nowhere?” you choke out as you take a sip of your water.
“Yeah, I don’t like people,” he says with another shrug, and you almost spit out your water. Oh god, he’s probably one of those eccentric types.
“Let me rephrase that; I just prefer my own company,” he explains, his voice steady but with a hint of guardedness.
“Well, what am I doing here then?” you chuckle with a smile, though you feel some insecurities seep into your blood.
“You wouldn’t last another day out there. And it’s not that I don’t enjoy company. Maybe we can help each other out, stay alive together?” he shrugs again, and you begin to wonder if he can do anything else but shrug.
“Like make life more bearable together?” you ask, and he nods.
“Yeah. Just keep each other company. It is pretty lonely out here,” he sighs, carrying his plate back to the sink to clean and put in the dishwasher.
“We can do that,” you say, yawning and stretching your body, feeling the tiredness wash over you. You wish for a good night’s sleep, something you haven’t had in weeks.
“Sleepy?” he chuckles, flashing a pearly set of teeth and pink gums.
“Yeah. Honestly, I haven’t had proper sleep since the bombings,” you yawn again as Yoongi takes your plate and cleans it too.
“Then maybe we should go to bed?” he suggests, clearing the table.
“Yeah, if you can just show me to the guest room, that would be nice,” you yawn again, feeling the weight of exhaustion pulling you down.
Yoongi burst into laughter again, his voice echoing through the desolate walls. “Guest room? Y/N, there’s only one bedroom. You’re bunking with me unless you prefer the icy embrace of the couch.”
Your eyes widen, reluctance shadowing your thoughts as the idea of sleeping in the cold chills you. Yet, the notion of sharing a bed with him unsettles you; he remains a stranger, and despite his seemingly gentle demeanor, your instincts keep you on edge. You sigh, resigned to the exhaustion that weighs heavily on you. “Sharing a bed will have to do,” you mutter, your voice tinged with apprehension and weariness.
You both walk together to his bedroom, the air thick with a strange tension that makes your heart pound erratically in your chest. It’s not the first time you’ve shared a bed with a man without any sexual connotation, yet there’s an odd intimacy in this moment that unsettles you. You forego any further preparation, having already showered and brushed your teeth — though you remember something. 
“I used your toothbrush earlier, I hope that’s okay,” you mention tentatively, eyeing the bed, its sheets faintly stained with your blood. They definitely need changing. “Do you have clean sheets?” you ask, turning towards the bathroom where Yoongi directs you to the cabinet with fresh linens and mentions he has a spare toothbrush.
You strip the stained sheets off and swiftly tuck in fresh ones, craving the comfort of a proper sleep. The thought of lying in clean bedding is a rare luxury now. There’s just one duvet, though, and you wonder if sharing it will be a challenge. Shedding the sweatpants, you opt for the black shirt, its length offering modesty. As you settle into the bed, pulling the covers snugly up to your chin, you relish the cocoon of warmth, a brief respite from the harsh reality outside.
Yoongi emerges from the bathroom, his chest bare and marked by scars on his shoulder, wearing plain black boxers. You gulp involuntarily. Damn it, you shouldn’t be ogling him like that, but your cheeks burn nonetheless.
He slides into bed beside you but maintains a respectful distance under the covers, leaving a gap that allows a chilling draft to sneak beneath the duvet, making you shiver involuntarily.
“Cold?” he asks, his voice devoid of the usual teasing tone that has marked the day. Instead, it carries a hint of genuine concern, almost comforting.
“Yeah, but I don’t want to be a burden,” you sigh, shifting to feel the warmth against your front, trying to ignore the chill creeping up your back.
“We can huddle closer for warmth,” he suggests, and you ponder it briefly, realizing it might help you sleep better anyway.
“Okay,” you agree, and moments later, Yoongi edges nearer, his chest pressing against your back. Instantly, his warmth envelops you, quelling the shivers that had plagued you.
You drift into sleep soon after. Yoongi maintains his distance, his chest against your back serving as a reassuring anchor, his hands remaining still as he promised. Finally, the respite from constant danger allows you to embrace a much-needed slumber.
You’re drenched in sweat, heart pounding against your chest, breaths coming fast and shallow as you gasp, “Don’t leave me, Yuri! Please, Hana, don’t go. Please don’t die!” You twist and turn, tears streaming down your face, overwhelmed by fear and sorrow. Your eyes refuse to open, exhaustion and dizziness enveloping you, yet vivid images flash before your mind’s eye, forcing a scream from your throat.
A pair of strong hands grips your arms, shaking you gently, and you register a voice calling out urgently, “Y/N, wake up. It’s just a nightmare. You’re safe.” 
Oh, it’s Yoongi. 
Right, you’re in Yoongi’s bed.
A stranger you met only hours ago. 
Despite his reassurances, your body refuses to comply, shaking uncontrollably as the remnants of the nightmare cling to your senses.
“Can I hold you? Maybe it’ll help calm you down,” he suggests softly. Even though you can’t muster the strength to open your eyes, his voice anchors you. 
“Please,” you sob, and he turns you gently, your back against his chest, enveloping you in his arms. His soothing shushes echo, reminiscent of comforting a restless child—surprisingly effective. 
Gradually, your racing heart steadies, the tremors subside, and your breathing finds a steady rhythm.
You open your eyes to darkness enveloping the room. “I watched my friends die. Their faces haunt me almost every night,” you sob, burying yourself deeper into his embrace. Forget the fact that he’s practically a stranger; his comforting presence and the safety of his arms offer solace you’ve longed for. After endless days of running, hyper-aware and on edge, it feels strangely liberating to allow yourself this moment of vulnerability. You’re still strong, but right now, in his arms, it’s okay to seek refuge.
You feel his hand on your head, gently stroking your hair. “It’s okay. It will get better with time,” he reassures you.
Sniffling, you surrender to exhaustion, finding solace in his arms once more. Despite your initial reservations and the day’s unsettling events, you feel an unexpected sense of safety with him. Weariness overtakes your caution, and you drift into a deep sleep, cradled by Yoongi’s reassuring presence throughout the night.
When you wake, a sticky, uncomfortable wetness between your thighs jolts you into full consciousness. You sit up and glance at Yoongi, still asleep beside you, his long hair tousled and face serene, lips slightly parted with steady breaths. Dread fills your gut as you peel back the covers. The sight of blood staining the white sheets freezes your breath, a scream clawing its way out of your throat, piercing the quiet of the room.
Yoongi bolts upright, momentarily disoriented, his eyes darting around the room for danger. His gaze falls on the crimson-stained sheets and your trembling form. Panic flashes across his face as he instinctively reaches for you. 
“Are you hurt?” he asks, his voice low and raspy with sleep, cutting through the air like a blade.
You force yourself to calm down, the panic subsiding as you realize the source of the blood. “No, it’s just my period,” you pant, trying to steady your breath and racing heart. It hits you with a mix of relief and embarrassment—over a month since your last one, but the sight of the stained sheets fills you with shame.
Yoongi’s tension eases, his shoulders relaxing. “Oh,” he says, understanding dawning in his eyes. There’s no danger, just the harsh reality of life. He gives you a comforting look, a rare softness in his hardened gaze.
“I’m sorry,” you ramble, sliding off the bed, mortified by the mess. “I didn’t wear underwear because my panties were ruined, and I didn’t want to trouble you for your boxers. I don’t even have pads or tampons.” Your words tumble out in a rush, the embarrassment amplifying every second.
Yoongi sits up, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “Relax, it’s okay,” he says, his voice steady and reassuring. “You can take some of my boxers. I’m not stocked up on pads or tampons, but you can just use cloth that we wash.” 
If you weren’t in a slight panic, maybe you’d notice how good he looks with bed hair and his bare torso, but instead, you rush out to the bathroom, still blushing from the unexpected intimacy and the rawness of the situation.
Yoongi joins you, a pair of his boxers in hand, as you futilely try to dry yourself with toilet paper. It’s no use.
“You should take a bath and wash off the blood,” he says, placing the boxers on the countertop. “I’ll take care of the bed.”
You nod, desperate to rid yourself of the blood, and without a second thought, you grab the edges of the black t-shirt you borrowed and pull it over your head, not caring that Yoongi is still there, probably watching you. His presence feels oddly comforting in this grim reality. 
“Nice ass,” he smirks as you step into the shower. You can’t believe he finds you attractive in this state—blood running down your thighs. How can you really look appealing like that? 
He’s either weird or into some strange shit.
You don’t reply, just shut the curtain fast, turning the showerhead on and letting the warm water caress your skin. The blood washes away, swirling down the drain as you clean yourself thoroughly. Damn, you really hate your period. Stepping out of the shower, you grab a towel and dry off. You spot some ripped cloth Yoongi left for you to use as makeshift pads. 
Yoongi is incredibly kind, you realize, and it brings a rare smile to your lips. You dress with the makeshift pads stuck in his boxers and then walk out, covering your breasts, not wanting to wear the shirt you slept in. The warmth of the shower lingers, but the cold reality of the dystopian world waits just outside the bathroom door.
In the bedroom, Yoongi has replaced the bloodstained sheets with black ones, blending seamlessly with the oppressive gloom outside. As he turns to meet your gaze, you can’t help but blush, standing there before him semi-naked. 
“Do you have a shirt I can borrow again?” you ask, your voice shaky with unsaid emotion and a confusing undercurrent of attraction.
He nods and rummages through his dresser, pulling out another black tee. You can’t help but wonder if black clothing is the only thing he owns, as if he’s trying to match the bleakness of the world.
“Thank you. I’ll just find my bra in my backpack,” you quip, the words sounding hollow as you step out next to the bed and search through your belongings.
“You don’t have to wear one, you know. You’re free to do whatever. If you’re more comfortable without one, it’s okay,” Yoongi says, his voice gentle yet firm. His words halt your movements. He’s right. You don’t really want to wear a bra; you’d only wear it because it’s the ‘proper’ thing to do. But he doesn’t seem to care about such trivialities, and comfort sounds far more appealing in this bleak reality. 
You stop searching for the item and simply pull on the shirt he’s given you, the fabric soft against your skin. 
As Yoongi gets ready with a shower and fresh clothes, you wander into the kitchen, your stomach growling. The dull ache in your abdomen also reminds you of your period, and you curse under your breath. Pain meds would be nice, but you have no idea where Yoongi keeps them. The thought of asking him feels like a small admission of vulnerability, something you’re not entirely comfortable with yet. But the pain is relentless, and in this world, there’s no room for stubborn pride.
Yoongi emerges from the bedroom, catching sight of you clutching your stomach. “Do you need painkillers?” he asks, his tone a mix of concern and practicality. He gestures to a cabinet. You nod, biting your lower lip as you move to find the pills, swallowing them with some water.
In the kitchen, you both work in a synchronized silence, preparing a simple meal. The quiet between you isn’t awkward; it’s a welcome respite from the chaos outside. As you eat, the distant sound of bombs punctuates the air, a grim reminder of the world beyond these walls.
Afterwards, you settle on the couch, the weight of the day pressing down on you. Yoongi sits beside you, the proximity offering a strange comfort. The silence stretches, filled with the unspoken understanding that, for now, survival is enough. The faint echoes of destruction fade into the background as you allow yourself a rare moment of peace, nestled in the fleeting safety of Yoongi’s makeshift sanctuary.
“Do you think we’re safe here?” you ask, turning to face Yoongi abruptly.
“For now, I think so,” he replies calmly, his gaze fixed on the flickering light from a nearby candle. The distant cacophony of destruction outside barely registers with him.
“You have a radio, right? Have you heard what’s going on?” Your curiosity is tinged with desperation. Three weeks of aimless wandering have left you clueless about the extent of the chaos—whether it’s confined to your city, your country, or if fleeing abroad could offer safety.
“Yeah, I do. It started with our country and the neighboring countries that were bombed, but now it’s escalated into a full-blown nuclear world war,” Yoongi answers, his voice tinged with resignation. “They say this might be the end of the world as we know it.”
Your throat tightens. 
The end of the world. 
Fuck. 
It’s a phrase that carries weight beyond comprehension. You fall silent, nervously fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. Yoongi notices your unease and his hand gently encircles yours, a silent gesture of reassurance amidst the chaos engulfing the world outside.
“I understand you’re scared, and it’s okay. I’m scared too,” Yoongi’s voice cuts through the dimness, his eyes reflecting a glimmer of something indiscernible. His honesty offers a rare comfort amidst the uncertainty that permeates every corner of your existence. “But there’s not much we can do about it, except try to stay alive. Frankly, I’m happy you’re here. At least we have each other in this shitty world.”
His sincerity touches you in a way that words struggle to express. Despite the looming dread, his presence brings a semblance of solace. “I guess you’re right,” you muse softly, a fleeting smile gracing your lips. The mere thought of not facing this bleak reality alone lifts your spirits more than you’d expected. “I’m also happy to not be alone anymore.”
“Come here,” he invites, arms open, a silent gesture that beckons you to his side. Initially hesitant, you meet his gaze with a questioning stare before relenting, offering a gentle smile as you scoot closer. His arms envelop you, pulling you into a comforting embrace as you rest your head against his shoulder.
In this moment, amidst the chaos and uncertainty, you allow yourself the luxury of comfort. It doesn’t diminish your strength or resilience; it’s simply a reprieve, a respite from the relentless struggle for survival. You listen to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, its reassuring cadence grounding you amidst your racing thoughts, reminding you that in this fractured world, even fleeting moments of solace are worth cherishing.
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You’ve been grumpy for days—blame it on your period, though Yoongi has tirelessly tried to ease both your pain and your sullen mood. He’s taught you the art of baking sourdough bread, introduced you to new games, and even guided you through painting sessions, all while the world around you crumbles bit by bit. Each night, he holds you close, his warmth soothing both your body and your restless thoughts. If you denied feeling a spark between you, you’d be lying. It’s an unspoken tension that has simmered since you first met, and you’re certain he feels it too, though neither of you acknowledges it or acts upon it.
The reason for your inaction eludes you—is it fear of rejection, uncertainty about what this attraction truly means amidst the chaos, or simply the desperate need for companionship in a desolate world? You wrestle with these thoughts, wondering if your feelings are genuine or born out of circumstance. Perhaps that’s why you’ve held back, because deep down, you want to desire him for who he is, not just because he’s the only person around, and certainly not solely out of physical need.
You realize you’re nearing the end of your period because since yesterday, every little thing Yoongi does seems incredibly arousing. Folding laundry becomes a sensual act as you watch the muscles in his arms move, his focused demeanor igniting a fire within you. Even mundane actions like drinking water capture your attention, the movement of his throat and the bob of his Adam’s apple now irresistible to you. It’s clear you’ve got it bad, and you feel like you’re slowly losing your sanity.
Yet amidst this chaotic world, you’ve come to a profound realization: it’s not merely Yoongi’s availability that attracts you, but the essence of who he is.
“Do you want to get drunk?” he asks abruptly, pulling your attention away from your swirling thoughts after dinner. Both of you sit motionless, avoiding the cleanup that beckons. You blink at him, incredulous, but the idea holds a strange allure. The prospect of drowning the world’s chaos in alcohol for a fleeting moment seems oddly appealing.
“Yeah. What do you have?” you inquire, leaning forward across the table, eager to hear his answer.
“Only the hard stuff,” he replies with a smile, rising to clear both your plates.
You nearly choke on his words, a momentary blur conjured by your horny mind. The double meaning triggers a rush of both embarrassment and arousal, betraying your thoughts once again.
You assist in tidying up, your heart pounding inexplicably loud in your ears. There’s a nervous energy tingling through you, a strange excitement, as you settle onto the couch. Yoongi locates two mugs and heads to a well-stocked cabinet filled with an array of hard liquors. The sight leaves you momentarily impressed — the man is prepared for anything.
Returning with a bottle of whiskey, he notices your slight frown, likely recalling your distaste for its taste. Yet, any strong spirit would elicit a similar reaction from you. He sets down the bottle, retreats to the kitchen for ice, then returns to pour the amber liquid into your mugs.
“Thank you,” you quip, raising the mug to your lips and taking a cautious sip, grimacing at the harsh taste, eliciting a chuckle from Yoongi. He sips his whisky casually, as if it’s a ritual he’s performed countless times before — which, given his ease, might very well be the case. The amber liquid seems to suit him, and you strive to mimic his nonchalance, the flavor gradually becoming more palatable with each swallow. Eventually, a subtle warmth spreads through your body, a faint buzz that hints at relaxation in this tumultuous world.
He pours more whiskey into your mugs, and you drink, feeling the world blur around you, but Yoongi remains sharply focused in your gaze. His laughter cuts through the haze, accompanied by glimpses of his pearly white teeth and endearing pink gums, as he shares stories of his friends and their reckless escapades.
“Then Jungkook would leave the poor girl hanging,” he chuckles, a deep, resonant sound that brings a smile to your face and colors your cheeks. 
“But that’s so bad,” you manage to reply between sips. Despite being thoroughly drunk by now, you relish Yoongi’s company and the friendship you now share. His presence makes the chaotic world feel momentarily lighter. You’re grateful he’s as intoxicated as you are, though you suspect he handles his liquor with more finesse.
Your eyelids flutter, cheeks warm as your gaze lingers on Yoongi, captivated by his sweetness and kindness amidst the dystopian chaos.
“What?” he chuckles softly, catching your prolonged stare.
“Your lips look really soft…” The words slip out, your filter completely gone, the confession hanging between you like an unspoken truth.
“Kiss me and find out,” he challenges, a glint of mischief in his eyes. His gaze, deep and compelling, draws you closer until your noses almost touch. With eyes closed, you lean in, meeting his lips in a gentle press. The warmth of his skin against yours, the taste of whiskey on his breath, sparks an unexpected thrill. Your hands find his, fingers intertwining, and a soft moan escapes your lips, lost in the softness and warmth of his kiss.
Your mind swirls, a dizzying mix of alcohol and the intoxicating scent of Yoongi enveloping you. You feel intoxicated by his presence, as if he’s a drug you never want to quit. Kissing him feels like an escape from the harsh reality of the world outside, a brief reprieve where everything is right.
But as you reluctantly pull back for a breath, both of you panting, his eyes are filled with desire and a knowing smirk. Without hesitation, he leans in again, kissing you fiercely. His urgency overwhelms you as he presses you down onto the couch, your hand instinctively gripping his neck, desire pooling in your stomach. You ache for him, craving more than just his touch.
He pulls away with a grunt, his voice rough with desire. “I really want to fuck you. But I want to do it sober.”
You groan softly, the heat of the moment tempered by the clarity of his words. Alcohol fuels your desire now, but you yearn for a clear-headed connection. You nod in agreement, and he pulls you up from the couch, his touch firm and purposeful.
“Doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy each other in bed in other ways,” he adds suggestively, leading you toward his bedroom. You follow eagerly, a wide smile spreading across your face, anticipation tingling in your veins.
In the bed, little else happens beyond kissing, the alcohol still clouding your senses. You manage to undress each other and slip under the covers; your bodies drawn together by an irresistible pull, seeking solace and warmth. More kisses follow, each one infused with a sense of fleeting bliss and exhaustion. Eventually, Yoongi spoons you as he always does, enveloping you in a cocoon of affection that feels more profound than anything you’ve experienced before. It’s a fleeting moment of respite amidst the chaos of the world crumbling outside.
When you wake, the throbbing pain in your head pulls you back to reality. You groan softly, slowly coming to, feeling Yoongi shifting beside you. His arms are still wrapped around you, in a comforting embrace.
His voice, thick with sleep, breaks the morning silence. “Morning. Do you have a headache too?” 
You chuckle softly, nodding as you nuzzle your back into him, his warm, nearly bare body—save for his boxers—shielding his erection. “Yeah,” you groan, feeling the fatigue lingering, yet also acutely aware of Yoongi’s touch, his fingertips gently tracing over your bare skin.
“Want to take a shower together? Might help with the headache,” he suggests, his voice still husky with sleep. You nod, both of you slipping out of bed and padding into the bathroom together.
There, you shed your minimal clothing—a shirt of Yoongi’s for you, his boxers for him. It’s the first time you’re both seeing each other naked, a realization that hangs heavy in the air. For a moment, you simply gaze at each other, skin tingling with anticipation and desire, yet neither of you utter a word. You silently drink in each other’s presence, wondering if he finds you as appealing as you find him. The way he licks his lips with hunger suggests he does. You study his body: soft yet lean, pale skin a testament to a life spent indoors, away from the harsh realities of this broken world.
His dick appears soft, yet it pulses with undeniable arousal, sending warmth through your skin and stirring a primal desire between your legs. His appearance is captivating, his dark brown pubic hair adding to his allure, compelling you to join him in the shower.
He turns on the water, and as it sprays over both of you, a shared chuckle breaks the tension. “Do you want me to wash you?” he asks, his voice low and thick with need. You nod, craving the touch of his hands on your body.
Yoongi finds some minty soap, lathering it in his hands before placing them on your skin. Instantly, you relax, feeling like putty in his strong hands. His touch is soft yet firm as he moves from your neck down your back, to your ass, and then along your thighs and legs. His hands travel back up to your neck, then, standing behind you, they move to your front. He slowly caresses your breasts, teasing your nipples into stiff peaks, and continues down your stomach, past your crotch, and along the front of your legs. The intimacy and the warmth of his touch make you feel more alive than you have in a long time.
Shivers cascade down your spine, heat flaring not from the water, but from Yoongi’s touch. Your breathing quickens with each passing moment, his low and raspy grunts filling your ears.
Your knees grow weak, and a blissful moan of his name escapes your lips as your head falls back to rest against his collarbone. “Do you like it, babe?” he murmurs, his voice a deep, seductive rumble that sends electric tingles down your spine and a rush of arousal pooling between your legs.
Your body quivers, and you bite your lower lip in a futile attempt to contain your desire. Finally, you relent, panting, “Yes.”
His pet name for you sends your mind spinning with thoughts of him, intensifying your longing. You gather your courage and turn to face him, your eyes hooded with desire. He licks his lips teasingly, his gaze sweeping over your soapy, naked form with clear appreciation. His hands continue their journey, gliding over your skin, teasing and igniting every nerve. 
“I want to wash you too,” you pant with a chuckle, grabbing the soap and lathering it in your hands. You place your fingers on his warm, sturdy chest, gliding over his pectorals and teasing his nipples, drawing a soft, whiny chuckle from him. Your hands travel down his stomach, deliberately bypassing his half erect cock, moving instead to his legs and down to his feet. Then, you make your way back up, sliding your hands over his back, down his shoulder blades, to his firm, round bum, which you squeeze with playful delight, before caressing down his thighs. 
You’re now sitting, face to face with his erection, and you can’t help but stare. To you, cocks have always just been cocks, but his looks almost like a work of art. It grows longer with arousal, and you stutter at the thought that he isn’t even fully hard yet. He already looks so long and girthy, and you can’t wait to feel him inside you.
You glance up at him, his eyes dark as obsidian, his mouth slightly agape as he watches you. Your hands move to his dick, now free of soap. He releases a needy groan as you wrap your fingers around him, beginning to stroke gently.
He keens at your touch, his back pressing against the shower wall, panting as the warm water sprays over you both. The only sounds are his grunts and the rhythmic patter of water, so you keep going, pleasuring him with your hand, feeling the intoxicating power of his reaction to you.
“Fucking hell, seeing you like that on your knees… you’re making me weak,” he pants, his black hair plastered to his head, his face flushed with a deep blush.
You smile, relishing the effect you have on him, and it spurs you to stroke him faster. In a surprising move, you wrap your mouth around his cock. He grunts in pleasure, relishing the sensation of your warm, wet mouth enveloping him.
You breathe through your nose, setting a slow, deliberate pace. His hands find purchase in your wet hair, fingers gripping as his body trembles with each movement of your lips and tongue.
He pants and grunts your name, the sound echoing in the steamy shower, until he gently pulls you off. “It’s really good. But I don’t want to come yet.” His voice is ragged, filled with both desire and restraint.
You rise to your feet with a smile, capturing his lips in a deep, fervent kiss, moaning softly into his mouth. Your hands snake around his frame, pressing your body tightly against his. His cock presses against you, igniting a wildfire of need within you. Pulling back, you gaze into his eyes, the intensity of your desire mirrored in his dark, lust-filled gaze.
“Let me finish washing you up, and then we can continue this in bed,” he suggests with a teasing smile. You nod, shivering as his hands glide over your body, washing away the soap with gentle, deliberate touches.
Just as you’re about to step out of the shower, he grabs your hand, stopping you in your tracks. “I haven’t washed your hair yet,” he murmurs, his voice low and intimate.
Your stomach does a somersault, a horde of butterflies threatening to escape. No one has ever done this for you. No one. He steals your breath away with how soft and caring he is, while he still maintains his roughness. 
You walk back to him, and he’s already ready with shampoo in his hand, lathering the liquid on your scalp. You moan in delight at its minty scent filling your nose, feeling and loving the drag of his fingers on your scalp, giving you a thorough clean. Then he washes the soap away and does the same with the conditioner focusing on the ends of your hair. When he’s done, you turn around, wrap your arms around his neck, and kiss him. 
It’s wild to think that at first you were put off by his strong behavior—though he did point a rifle at your head, and killed a man in front of you—but this, this is truly something special you could never have imagined. Never had you thought you’d fall for this rugged, rough, but also very sweet and soft man.
You don’t say anything, but gesture for him to let you wash his hair too. You find the shampoo and gently give him a scalp massage, pulling moans of your name from his lips. You squirt a bit of conditioner into your hands and lather the ends of his hair. He closes his eyes while you work, and, damn, he looks so handsome, so serene like this.
You give him a chaste kiss. “I’m done.”
He chuckles, and you each do a final rinse, making sure no soapy residue is left. Then you both step out of the shower and grab towels to dry off. Playfulness bubbles between you, even though you’re both aroused, the tension almost tangible in the steamy bathroom.
“Do you have a condom? I’m not on the pill anymore, and I didn’t make it to my appointment to get an IUD inserted,” you ask, already debating whether you want to risk it. With no birth control, you run the risk of getting pregnant, and you don’t really want that, but you also really want to fuck him.
“I have condoms,” he says, opening a cabinet and pulling out a large box.
“Holy shit, 500 condoms! What are you going to do with those?” you ask, flabbergasted and laughing at the absurdity. You’ve never seen a man with so many condoms. You wonder if he has a lot of sex or what his deal is. Did he plan this?
“Before you ask, because I can already see those wheels inside your brain spinning, it was a good deal, and it was a long time ago, but they’re not expired yet,” he chuckles, the sound low and deep, shrugging slightly as he scratches his still wet hair.
You laugh, taking the box from his hands and walking naked into his bedroom. The absurdity of the situation doesn’t dampen your desire; if anything, it heightens it, making the moment feel even more surreal and intense. The world outside might be falling apart, but in this room, you both find a strange and intoxicating solace.
“Do you fuck a lot of women, Yoongi?” you ask teasingly, holding the box in your grasp.
“I haven’t had sex in over a year, so no,” he chuckles, though his tone darkens slightly.
“So what are you going to do with all these then?” you ask, grabbing a foil packet and watching as a few more tumble out.
“Hopefully fuck you many times,” he teases with a grunt, standing before you at the edge of the bed. “Would you like that? Fuck like rabbits until the world falls apart?”
Your heart races at his words, the raw intensity of his desire matching your own. 
For a moment, you had completely forgotten the state of the world, but with him, it hardly matters. “Fuck yeah. Take me on the bed, then fuck me in the shower, the kitchen, the couch, the floor—I don’t care, just get inside me,” you rasp, sitting down on the bed.
He pushes you down, and you giggle as he hovers over you. You shimmy further up the bed, and now he’s eye level with your exposed pussy. He licks his lips teasingly, his gaze dark and hungry. “Can I taste you?” he asks, his voice a sultry whisper.
You giggle, spreading your legs wider to make space for him. “Yes, please,” you breathe, your voice catching. You don’t care how needy you sound; the anticipation electrifies your skin, your body already trembling with desire.
One of his hands grips your thigh, and you let out an airy moan as he squeezes, drawing closer. “You look so pretty,” he murmurs, his voice a sultry promise. “Can’t wait to taste you.”
The world outside fades away, replaced by the intensity of his gaze and the heat of his breath on your skin. As he leans in, your senses ignite, every nerve ending alight with a mixture of need and surrender.
He takes a moment to savor your pulsating pussy, still damp from the shower, small water droplets glistening on your skin. With both hands, he gently parts your folds, groaning at the sight of your exposed hole. With eager anticipation, he dives down, his lips latching directly onto your sensitive clit, making you grab the sheets in pure ecstasy. His tongue traces a path to oblivion, and for that moment, you’re consumed by him, and him alone.
His tongue is a perfect blend of warmth, softness, and roughness, unforgiving in the way it laps and sucks at your clit, sure to bring you maximum pleasure in a short amount of time. It’s insane how skilled he is with his mouth, and you arch into his expert touch, your fingers tangling in his long black locks instead of the sheets. The world outside is forgotten, replaced by the overwhelming sensation of his tongue and the undeniable connection between you.
“Yoongi... it’s so good,” you moan, feeling your pussy clench around nothing. “Fingers, please.”
You can feel him smirk against your folds, his mouth never leaving your clit as a finger teases your entrance. Slowly, he slides the first digit inside you, and you let out a needy moan, relishing the small stretch as he works you open.
“Like this?” he asks, momentarily pulling away to flash you a teasing grin, fully aware of the power he holds over you and how much he’s affecting you with his skilled tongue and probing finger. The anticipation and his relentless teasing send waves of pleasure coursing through you, leaving you breathless and craving more.
You bite your lip and nod, your body trembling as he begins to finger you with increasing vigor. It doesn’t take long before he adds a second finger, the slight stretch sending jolts of pleasure through your core. Your fingers clench in his hair, your legs closing around his head as you edge closer to your orgasm.
“I’m gonna come,” you pant, tugging at his hair, the desperation in your voice driving him to suck harder on your clit and thrust his fingers faster. The intense rhythm of his movements sends you spiraling, each stroke and flick of his tongue bringing you closer to the edge.
Sucking noises fill the room, amplifying your sense of being utterly consumed by bliss. Your heart races, each beat echoing in your ears as you gasp and moan his name, the sound raw and desperate. The coil inside you finally snaps, and you clench around his fingers, your release surging through you like a tidal wave.
“Yoongi…,” you moan, your body vibrating with intense pleasure, tingles cascading over your skin. Your clit throbs with oversensitivity under the relentless ministrations of his tongue. He pulls away, smirking at you with lips glistening with your essence, the early morning sun filtering through the curtains and catching on the wet sheen.
In your bliss, you barely register that it’s the first time you’ve seen sunlight in weeks. The world outside may be changing, but in this moment, nothing else matters but Yoongi and the ecstasy he’s brought you.
"You taste so good. Are you ready for my cock, babe?" he smirks, his tongue darting out to lick his lips, savoring your essence.
“Yes, please, fuck me now. I want you and your dick,” you pant, your voice laced with need. You’ve been waiting for this moment for days, finally free from your period. Not that it would have stopped you, but you’ve stained the poor guy’s sheets enough already.
Yoongi moves closer, tearing open the foil packet and pulling out a condom. He puts it on with practiced ease, then pushes your legs further apart, kneeling in front of you. He spits on his cock, teasing it with his hand, and the sight sends a shiver down your spine. He’s finally going to enter you, filling you completely, and the anticipation is almost unbearable.
“Ready?” he asks, his voice low and filled with desire. You nod eagerly, your body trembling with anticipation.
“You’re so beautiful, do you know that?” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. One of his hands squeezes your thigh, and you feel the head of his cock teasing your waiting entrance.
No one has ever called you beautiful before, and you’re momentarily speechless. Instead, you give him a shy smile, your face heating with a blush.
Slowly, he begins to enter you, and you moan at the delicious stretch as he pushes in deeper. Yoongi grunts, “Shit. You’re so tight!” The comment makes you chuckle, inadvertently tightening your walls around him.
“Fuck. Don’t do that yet. I’m seriously gonna come any minute if you clench like that.” You stop laughing, trying to steady yourself, focusing on relaxing your inner muscles to give him space.
Finally, he bottoms out, fully sheathed inside you. “Damn. You’re really squeezing my dick. I’d forgotten what this feels like,” he gasps, his voice filled with pleasure and awe.
“Hopefully it’s good?” you ask breathlessly, your arms reaching to hold your thighs and press them down to your stomach, giving him even deeper access.
“Fuck, yeah. It’s amazing. You’re amazing,” he groans, smiling as he begins to pull out only to thrust back inside you, eliciting a moan of pure pleasure from your lips.
“You too, Yoongi, you’re amazing,” you murmur, biting your lip, reveling in the sensation of his thrusts, his balls slapping against your pussy with each powerful movement.
He leans down, your legs falling to the side, and captures your lips in a heated kiss while continuing to thrust into you. Your tongues dance together, and you taste yourself on his lips. He groans into your mouth, the sound driving your lust higher, and you teasingly bite his lip. 
He kisses you again, then pulls away to trail kisses down your throat, over your collarbones. The intimacy of the moment strikes you, making you realize how deeply connected you feel with him. You’re consumed by this, by whatever it is that you and Yoongi have right now, and it feels overwhelmingly perfect.
His lips trace a path down to your breasts, latching onto a nipple and teasing it stiff with expert flicks of his tongue. He sucks hard while his other hand finds your other nipple, rolling and tugging it between his fingers. You writhe beneath him, moaning uncontrollably as waves of pleasure surge through you. Your hands lie flat beside you, completely surrendered to his touch.
“Fuck—Yoongi! Do you… do you want me to ride you?” you gasp, your voice choked with pleasure.
“You want to?” he asks, his mouth leaving your breast to meet your gaze, eyes dark with desire.
“Yes, otherwise I wouldn’t ask,” you chuckle breathlessly, pushing him away gently. He gives you his hand, helping you up from the bed. He lies down, his cock hard and glistening with your juices, ready for you. You crawl over to him and straddle him with vigor, your stomach burning with lust. Grabbing his cock, you guide it to your entrance and then slowly sink down, letting him fill you completely. 
“Ah, fuck. It’s so good!” you moan, your body shuddering with pleasure as you begin to ride him, each movement bringing you closer to ecstasy.
When you look down, his eyes shine with awe and raw arousal, his hands gripping your hips as you begin to set a steady pace. 
“Fuck, you look so good like this,” he rasps, your name escaping his lips in a passionate grunt.
“I always look good,” you chuckle, feeling bold and safe in his arms, reveling in the rare self-praise.
“Shit. Confidence looks sexy on you,” he moans, his hands sliding from your hips up to your breasts, fondling them with a firm, appreciative touch.
You smile back, your thighs working overtime to bounce on him, hands braced against his chest. You lean down to kiss him, pulling away just enough to whisper, “Yoongi, I’m close again. Are you close too?”
He grunts, his cock twitching inside you, a clear sign of his impending release. “Yeah, I’m close. I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long.”
“Will you please touch my clit?” you ask, your eyes hooded with lust. His fingers land on your clit, working circles, sending electric pulses through your still-sensitive nerves. 
“Shit,” you moan, followed by his name, as your body clenches and you release fluid around his cock, stopping your movements and panting for air.
“You did so good. Let me take over now, ‘kay?” he asks, biting his lip. You nod, feeling blissfully tired. His hands travel back to your hips, gripping you firmly as he begins to thrust up into you. His pace is fast and hard, hitting your already sensitive g-spot, making you cry out in both pain and pleasure, your walls fluttering around him.
“Fuck,” is all he says as he comes into the condom, filling it with his warm release. You scream his name and shake, slumping down onto his chest.
“Are you okay?” he asks, gently nudging your cheek, feeling the tears there and brushing them away.
Out of breath, you manage to say, “Yeah. I think I came again.”
He chuckles, stroking your hair as he hugs you close. You linger in the moment, savoring the intimacy—him still inside you, albeit softening. It’s blissful. The safety he provides, his minty scent, the warmth of his embrace. You feel cherished and secure in his arms, wishing you could stay like this forever.
“Damn. I feel so tired now, but at least I don’t have a headache anymore,” you chuckle, your head resting on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart gradually syncing with yours.
“Me too,” he laughs, the sound resonating through his chest, filling you with warmth.
“Maybe we should just stay like this until you get hard again, and we can go for another round,” you suggest, your fingers tracing lazy circles on his warm skin.
“You’d like that, huh?” he teases, his hands threading through your hair.
“Yeah,” you affirm, feeling overwhelmed by his presence yet craving more of it.
Safe to say, you remain nestled together, igniting another round and many more throughout the day. You’re amazed at Yoongi’s stamina, though he did mention something about his balls aching, so as night falls, you settle into a comfortable embrace in bed. 
In the days that follow, you fuck on every imaginable surface, putting those 500 condoms to good use.
One day, the sun that had graced your windows for weeks disappears, replaced by an eerie gray sky again. The familiar sound of something flying in the air makes you shiver and crouch down in fear. 
“What’s wrong?” Yoongi asks, his face etched with concern. The fear in your eyes tells him something’s terribly wrong.
“Bombs,” you mutter. As the words leave your lips, the first explosion shatters the ground nearby. You scream, terror coursing through you. Not this again. You thought you’d grown used to it, the bombings having become sporadic and distant. But now, they’re hitting too close to home.
Yoongi rushes to the window and peers outside, his expression tense. “It’s close. We can’t stay here. We need to leave,” he says, urgency lacing his voice.
Your eyes widen in fear and panic. “What do you mean? Leave?”
“Yeah. It’s not safe to stay here anymore. We can take the truck, try and stay alive. It’s better than staying here and dying,” he says, already moving about, pulling out pre-packed bags.
“You have ‘to go’ bags ready?” you ask, staring at him in disbelief.
“Yeah. I didn’t think I’d have time to pack anything in a rush,” he explains, four bags already laying at your feet. “There’s food, water, clothes, and a medical kit,” he says, then walks up to you, looking you in the eyes. “It’s going to be alright, okay? You’re safe with me.”
You gulp and nod, the sound of another explosion reverberates through the walls, shaking the ground beneath you, fear propelling you into action. Grabbing two of the bags, you follow Yoongi outside to the truck.
The world outside looks bleak. Thick clouds of smoke and ash cover the horizon, turning everything gray. Trees are falling, and in the distance, buildings blaze with fire. The scene mirrors the devastation of your hometown—bombed, ruined, and left you with nowhere to go. Now, you wonder, where will you go?
Your ears ring, and your head spins. Your breaths come quick and shallow as the acrid smell of fire, death, and destruction fills the air. You’re tired of it, longing for the world you once knew. But that world is gone, replaced by this new reality of chaos. 
You follow him to the truck, glancing at Yoongi. Despite everything, you find solace in his presence. This new life may be filled with death and destruction, but with Yoongi by your side, you know you have a fighting chance.
“Hurry. We need to grab more supplies from the shed,” Yoongi urges, pulling you along after you’ve tossed the bags into the truck.
Inside the shed, Yoongi opens a large box, revealing an arsenal of firearms stashed from top to bottom. Your mouth falls open in disbelief. “You have more than just one rifle?”
He chuckles, the sound tense against the backdrop of imminent danger. His movements are swift and precise. “Yeah. Like you guessed, I was prepared for this.”
You gulp, the gravity of the situation sinking in. You’ve never met anyone like Yoongi—someone so prepared for the worst, for the end of the world. Someone ready to fight for his life, and now, for yours too. 
He hands you something, and when you look down, you realize it’s a knife, sheathed in worn leather. “Why are you giving me this?”
“To defend yourself. You said you could handle yourself, so use this,” he replies, his shoulders shrugging as he stuffs a variety of guns into a backpack, slinging his rifle over his shoulder as if it’s just another day in the office.
“Yeah— with my bare hands. I’ve never used a knife before, let alone a gun,” you stammer, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. The world has become so twisted that now you need to carry a weapon just to stay alive.
“I don’t care. I’ll do my best to protect you, but if something happens, you need to be able to protect yourself,” he says, his voice firm but his eyes soft. He hands you a leather harness, and you look at him with wide, questioning eyes.
“Put this on, so you can holster a gun and the knife,” he says, motioning for you to turn around as he helps you secure the leather harness.
“You make it sound like it’s zombies out there,” you gulp, the gravity of the situation hitting you hard. Everything is escalating again, and you know you need to leave—fast.
“Babe, it might as well be zombies. It’s either them or us.”
You freeze for a moment—those words, ‘them or us’ send a chill down your spine. Even though it makes you feel sick, you know he’s right. If you want to survive, you might have to make some very uncomfortable decisions. You clench your hands, fastening the leather harness around your shoulder, then holster the knife and the small gun Yoongi has given you. You pray you never have to use it, but if it comes down to it, you know it will always be you and Yoongi before anyone else.
Yoongi hurriedly grabs more supplies from the box, stuffing them into his backpack and securing them to the belt he now wears. You notice an additional knife, a smaller multi-tool, flashlights, batteries, and finally, he hauls canisters of fuel into the truck’s bed.
“Come on, let’s get going,” he urges, darting around the vehicle. You yank open the passenger door, heart pounding, and jump in. Yoongi climbs in, turns the key in the ignition, and the truck roars to life.
As Yoongi reverses out of the driveway, a low-flying plane thunders overhead. You glance out the window just in time to see a bomb drop. The next moment, your ears ring painfully as your home for the past months disintegrates in a fiery explosion. Plywood, drywall, banisters, and concrete fly through the air, and you scream, tears streaming down your face.
Yoongi remains unfazed, his focus unbroken as he speeds down the main road, leaving the obliterated remains of the house behind.
From the window, you watch in horror as the house disintegrates, consumed by smoldering flames. The structure collapses, reduced to rubble in seconds. Gulping, you feel your body tense and your mind race, barely processing the close call.
“Try to take deep breaths,” Yoongi advises, snapping you out of your spiraling thoughts. You hadn’t even noticed you were on the verge of hyperventilating. Placing a trembling hand on your chest, you focus on its rise and fall—proof that you’re still alive. Everything will be fine once you escape this nightmare, you tell yourself. Everything will be fine. But no amount of positive thinking can mask the grim and harsh reality. Tears blur your vision as you cry, the enormity of your new world crashing down around you.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Yoongi says, his hand landing on yours, grounding you. It always does. You’ve only known Yoongi for a few months—maybe half a year—but time has become a strange, elastic concept since the bombings started. Despite the short duration, you’ve grown dependent on him, on the safety he provides. The thought of losing him, like you lost your friends, terrifies you.
“I just hope we make it out,” you choke out between sobs, your fists clenching and unclenching. You know you need to calm down; fear won’t help you now. But the prickling sensation of dread crawling under your skin feels all too real, a constant reminder of the uncertain future and the precariousness of your life.
His grip tightens, offering a small but significant comfort. “We will,” he assures you, his voice steady despite the chaos. “I promise.”
The landscape outside the truck is almost unrecognizable. The once lush green trees and bushes are now gone, replaced by gray ashes and fire. Everything is barren, dying. 
Bombs continue to drop around you, each explosion sending a shiver down your spine. A lump forms in your throat, but you’re thankful for the truck’s metal shell that muffles the sounds of chaos. You don’t have to hear the people dying, unlike back in the city where the screams still haunt your nightmares.
The road is bumpy, marred by craters and debris, a cruel reminder of the unrelenting reality of your new life. Each jolt and rattle of the truck underscores the harshness of this world, a stark contrast to the life you once knew.
“If anybody comes up to us, shoot first and ask questions later. Got it?” Yoongi’s voice is stern, his grip on the steering wheel like a vice. You gulp and turn your head towards him. “What?” you ask in disbelief. You don’t want to shoot anyone. Your hand finds the gun holstered in your harness. You really don’t want to.
“You don’t know what people want. They might want to kill you. Just shoot them in the leg so they can’t walk,” he explains, his focus sharp on navigating the wreckage of the desolate road. The once-bustling streets are eerily empty, a haunting silence hanging in the air.
You think about his words for a moment, trying to rationalize. Shooting someone in the leg isn’t as bad as killing them, right? It’s a compromise you can live with, or so you hope.
“I really hate this,” you groan, your tears subsiding. Your heart still races, but you force yourself to focus on Yoongi, his voice, and the urgency of getting the hell out of this town. The reality of your situation presses down on you, heavy and suffocating, but you know you have to keep moving forward.
“Where are we going?” you ask, changing the subject. You don’t want to think about killing someone, or shooting them. Better think about something else.
“One of my friends’ places, maybe we can stay there,” Yoongi says, his voice thick with emotion. You can tell he’s worried about his friend—wondering if they’re okay or not.
“Jungkook. Remember I told you about him?” he asks, a fleeting smile crossing his lips. It’s a melancholy smile, tinged with fear and uncertainty.
You nod, gripping the door handle as the terrain grows rougher. The world outside the window is unrecognizable, a desolate wasteland of gray ash and smoldering fires. The once lush and vibrant landscape is now barren, dying, the remnants of civilization crumbling away.
Time blurs as you drive, the hours indistinguishable from one another. Eventually, you spot the outlines of houses on the horizon, but they are no longer standing. They’re crumbled and reduced to rubble, much like Yoongi’s home. The sight tightens your throat with dread, an eerie premonition of what might await you at Jungkook’s place. Your heart breaks for Yoongi, for the fragile hope he clings to in this devastated world.
Yoongi stops the car in front of the destroyed house and jumps out of the truck. His face is unreadable, but you catch glimpses of sadness and anger as he clenches his fists and frowns, taking in the wreckage.
You get out too and join him, your throat and heart tightening at the sight. You scan the ruins for any sign of his friend but find no one. You’re unsure if that’s a good thing or not. “Maybe he made it out?” you suggest, your voice meek and filled with sadness as memories of losing your own friends flood back, and tears well up in your eyes.
“Maybe,” Yoongi responds blankly. You reach out and grab his hand, lacing your fingers with his, offering the support and comfort he’s given you so many times before.
“It’s going to be okay,” you reassure him, slowly beginning to believe your own words. With Yoongi by your side, you feel like you might actually have a fighting chance in this godforsaken world.
“Thank you,” he whispers, leaning into you. The ashy air caresses your cheek as you both turn back to the truck. 
You get in and drive off, the road ahead uncertain, but the bond between you stronger than ever. You’re in search of a place to stay, a place to escape this relentless dystopia, and for the first time, you feel a glimmer of hope.
It feels like you’ve been driving forever, the sky a perpetual twilight, offering no clue to the hour. You push through, finally finding a piece of nature that remains green, untouched by the devastation. Yoongi stops the car and begins unloading the bags, including some you hadn’t noticed before.
“You’ve got a tent too?” you ask in disbelief. By now, you shouldn’t be surprised by his preparedness, but each new revelation still catches you off guard.
“Yeah. We can also sleep in the truck though,” he replies, his eyes scanning the area for any sign of danger.
“The tent is fine. But do you think we can keep warm?” you wonder aloud, unsure of how cold the night might get. You can’t even recall what month it is—April, May? The days and weeks blur together in this endless struggle.
“Yeah, we’ll just huddle together,” he assures you. His confidence is comforting, and you believe him. He sets up the tent with practiced ease, pulling out a thin mattress. After a small meal, exhaustion overtakes both of you, and you head into the tent. Yoongi wraps his arms around you, his body warmth making you feel safe and secure.
Despite your weariness, you struggle to fall asleep, feeling restless. Sensing this, Yoongi soothes you with his hands, leading to you making love, feeling the spark between you, so vital in this broken world, helps you finally drift off to sleep, your bodies intertwined, finding solace and unity in each other amidst the chaos.
In the morning, you think, the air is thick with smoke, small rays of sunlight filtering through the dense clouds above. You stretch and yawn, watching as Yoongi builds a fire, the two of you eating a small meal to regain some energy. The warmth of the fire and his presence beside you offer a fleeting comfort in the bleakness of the world. As you kiss, savoring each other’s company, the air feels warmer than you expected, a small reprieve in the otherwise harsh landscape.
As you sit there, a sense of unease washes over you. The hairs on your arms stand on end, and you lift your head from Yoongi’s shoulder, scanning the area for any signs of danger. The rustling in the nearby bushes makes your heart race, but you see nothing.
“What’s wrong?” Yoongi asks, pulling you tighter against him.
“I just feel like we’re being watched…,” you whisper, your voice barely audible, as if afraid the very air might betray you.
“Maybe we shouldn’t have made the fire,” he replies, his voice tense. “It gives away our position.” He drags his feet through the dirt, smothering the fire with soil and stones.
“Just to be safe, I think we should move,” he suggests, standing up and pulling you with him. His grip on your hand is firm, reassuring.
You nod, the weight of the situation sinking in. Better to be cautious than caught off guard. The world around you is hostile, every shadow a potential threat. Together, you gather your things and move on, seeking safety in an uncertain future.
Then you get back on the road. You’ve traveled so far out that you have no idea where you are, but you hope you’ve left behind whatever presence you felt before. You turn to Yoongi, smiling at him, feeling a glimmer of safety and happiness despite the bleakness of your life. He’s your light, keeping you hopeful in this desolate world.
Suddenly, a harsh sound pierces the air, followed by a deafening explosion. The earth shatters next to the truck, sending it spiraling into the air. You scream, clutching onto anything you can, as the vehicle flips and lands on its roof. Your seatbelt catches you, holding you in place as the world turns upside down. The ringing in your ears is unbearable, distorting your voice as you try to speak. “Yoongi—are you okay?” you manage to choke out.
He grunts, “I’m okay. What about you?”
“I’m fine,” you pant, feeling the blood rush to your head. The urgency to escape floods your senses. 
Yoongi frees himself from his seatbelt and falls to the ground with a thud, groaning in pain. Despite the agony, he pushes through, helping you free yourself and dragging you out of the wreckage. Both of you are alive, miraculously. The injuries seem minimal—Yoongi’s knuckles are bleeding, but that’s about it. You look around at the desolate landscape, the truck lying on its roof, shattered glass everywhere, and you realize just how close you came to losing everything. But as long as you’re together, you have a fighting chance in this godforsaken world.
“Fucking hell, my head is spinning,” Yoongi grunts, wincing in pain.
You suggest grabbing the bags from the wrecked truck, finding some painkillers for both of you, and treating his bruises. He nods, his eyes scanning the desolate surroundings. “We should ditch the truck and move on by foot,” he says, standing up and looking toward a large hill on the horizon. “Maybe we can make it up there?”
“Good idea,” you agree. You grab the bags, your weapons, and, hand in hand, you begin navigating the rough terrain. The landscape is a mix of green patches and dying vegetation, the minimal sunlight choking out what little life remains. Without photosynthesis, you wonder how anything will survive.
You walk until exhaustion sets in, reminding you of the long trek you made before meeting Yoongi. Weary, you decide to make camp, forgoing a fire pit this time. Setting up the tent, you collapse into sleep, the days and nights blending together under the perpetual gray sky.
One morning, after what feels like endless walking, you attempt to scale the hill. It looms vast and imposing, perhaps more of a mountain than a hill. As you drag your tired bodies up the elevated trail, Yoongi breaks the silence. “Do you also feel like we’re being followed?”
You nod, a shiver running down your spine. You’ve felt the presence since yesterday, a constant shadow lurking at the edges of your perception. But what can you do until it reveals itself?
“Keep your hand close to your gun and knife, okay?” Yoongi instructs, his voice tense. He remains on guard, eyes darting around as you continue your climb. You don’t have the energy to chase shadows, especially when survival depends on reaching the top of this mountain hill. The weight of the unknown presses down on you, every step a reminder of the perilous world you now inhabit.
The air grows thinner and colder as you ascend, prompting you to make camp again. You eat and attempt to sleep, though you’re always alert, wary of whatever or whoever is following you. Despite the tension, you manage a light sleep. 
In the morning, you stretch your body and gently kiss Yoongi awake, then strap on your leather harness and weapons. As you step out of the tent to grab something to eat, your blood runs cold. A man is rummaging through your supplies, his eyes wild with hunger. He turns, and your gaze locks with his. 
Panic grips you.
Yoongi emerges from the tent, instantly assessing the situation. His hand flies to the gun in his jeans pocket, drawing it with practiced speed as he steps beside you. The man looks between you and Yoongi, unafraid. He’s a mess, dirtied by war and bombs, eyes red and feral. For a fleeting second, you wonder if he’s even human.
“Touch her and die,” Yoongi warns, his voice cold and venomous. 
The man charges at you, and for a moment, you freeze, memories of a similar encounter at Yoongi’s house flooding your mind. But this time, your instincts kick in. Your hand finds the gun, you draw it, and aim at the stranger’s leg. Heart pounding, you clench your teeth, close your eyes, and pull the trigger. 
A scream rips through the air.
Yoongi is at your side in an instant, taking the gun from your trembling hands. The stranger falls to the ground, clutching his thigh as blood oozes from the wound. You pant furiously—you did that. You hurt someone. The realization makes you feel sick.
“You just defended yourself. It’s okay,” Yoongi reassures, patting soothing circles on your back. 
You nod, trying to believe him. You didn’t kill the stranger; you defended yourself. It’s a grim comfort in this bleak reality, but it’s something.
“What should we do about him?” you ask, still panting, your body tingling with the aftershocks of adrenaline.
“Just leave him,” Yoongi replies with a shrug, quickly gathering your things and dismantling the camp. The stranger’s screams of pain echo through the air, but Yoongi shows no mercy, just cold pragmatism. You’re grateful he doesn’t kill the man outright, though you know he will likely die anyway.
You move on, leaving the wounded stranger behind to fend for himself. Deciding against climbing all the way up the mountain to avoid the bitter cold, you continue your journey. Time becomes a blur of setting up and breaking camp, bombs still scattering the ground around you, but you keep pushing forward, driven by the hope of escaping this nightmare.
Eventually, you find a small hill overlooking the sea. The view is hauntingly beautiful—a stark contrast to the desolation around you. “Do you think we could swim to safety?” you ask, staring at the sparkling blue water, a surreal contrast to the barren landscape.
Yoongi chuckles darkly. “I think we’d die of exhaustion and drown before making it to another country or island.”
“We’re probably gonna die of radiation anyway now,” you spit, setting your bags down on the ashy ground. The sea, still blue and inviting, feels like a cruel joke.
“Yeah, we might feel some radiation effects in a few years, if we’re alive by then,” Yoongi says, putting his bags down too.
You both sit in silence, the weight of your predicament settling in. The world as you knew it is gone, replaced by a harsh, unrelenting reality. But for now, you have each other, and that fragile connection gives you the strength to carry on.
For a moment, you just stare at each other, surrounded by a world that has fallen apart, crumbled into something unrecognizable, gray, and dead. But he’s alive, and so are you. You’ve made it this far, and it makes your heart pound. Your lips crash into his—hungry for his touch, for the feeling of being alive, for safety.
The kiss ignites into a frenzy of lustful touches as you strip, indifferent to the fact that you’re outside—there’s no one else around anyway. You kiss him deeply, touching him like it’s the last time. The world is ending, and your desperation fuels your desire. You grip his hard cock, your mouth finding him, sucking, kissing, pleasing until he stops you with a growl, saying he wants to be inside you. You want that too. Laying down on the ground, you welcome him into your warm walls like you’ve done many times before. He knows how to please you, his touches and kisses driving you wild. 
You want this moment to last forever, but you’re acutely aware of the uncertainty of your future. You don’t know if you’ll be alive tomorrow, next week, or next month or even in a year. But you know Yoongi, and he grounds you. 
With him, it’s okay if the world is ending—as long as you have him.
Bombs continue to fall in the distance, and tears escape your eyes, a bittersweet reminder of your probable fate. But at least you have Yoongi by your side. Your breaths mingle, your hands lace together, and he kisses your neck, making love to you like it’s the last time. 
Time on this earth feels borrowed. You lose yourself in his touch, in his kisses, feeling breathless and alive despite the encroaching darkness.
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→ Author’s note(2): hi! Since I posted the teaser I’ve been really stressed, lol. Because I felt so pressured by your expectations, so I really hope that this has turned out well 🥹 I love that so many people are interested in the story, so I just hope I did it justice! Please let me know? Again, this is based on my very real fears, but mingled with fiction. I tried my best to make an open ending, so you’re free to interpret it as you please (this is very intentional because of something I might explain later, lol). Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed it. I had my husband beta-ing it, and he fixed at lot of my poor gramma, got flustered by the smut and said it was too descriptive, and it said this wasn’t as detailed as I usually write smut 🤣 Anyway, he said he wanted more ‘survival’ with oc and Yoongi— and I completely agree. But I don’t have any more words, and I’m honestly afraid to make it too much into ‘The Last of Us’ or something else I watched (seeing as I’m not really familiar with writing apocalyptic stories, lol). But I hope it was still okay, at least 🥹
What did you think?? 💜
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→ Taglist: @idkjustlovingbts @lovelgirl22 @gimeow @sweeetas @viankiss @goldietigers294 @this-most-assuredly-counts @futuristicenemychaos @funnygirls-things @ysljoon @livingformintyoongi @as-hs-blog @urmomluvsrose @yasmineixyjay @purpleheartsandarock1 @alextgef @coree730 @wobblewobble822 @coldcoffee2121 @zzoguri
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sordidmusings ¡ 10 months ago
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Give (in) and Take (me) - (Beckman x Reader)
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Art by shibama_TK9
A/N: *Hasn’t completed a smut in weeks, comes back throwing a niche character at you to spread simpin for him like a virus* plz love him he’s great and while he ain’t my main I’d have nooooooo complaints in partaking 😩 tryin to give the Beckman lovers some content because it is devastatingly scant and he’s quite the treat
Word Count: ~8.7k
Warnings: fem!reader, NSFW, there’s some plot at the front and back, bratty reader, brat-tamer Beckman, he does the Nanami hair grab 👌🏻, semi-public, standing, against the wall, man-handling, clothed sex, p in v, creampie, praise, degredation, lots of teasing on both sides, age gap? (briefly mentioned, ~30 and late 40s), Beckman is a lil mean but don't worry he's Whipped, this some filth filth 🥴 whoops
Now please come enjoy prodding the big gruff man (who just wants to treat you right) until he snaps
(˵¯͒〰¯͒˵)
~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~
You’ve had enough of the raucous jubilation in the bar, especially now that you noticed your awaited opening unfolding before you. The rest of the Red Hair Pirates were fully distracted in their jovial whirling, hooting, and playing, leaving a certain silver smoke cloud all by his lonesome. You’d been dancing through his whisps all night, enjoying how they’d wrap and curl around you as you went. It was in their nature to do so. Each brush of a hand got a shiver and a sigh and a trailing stare. Each floated conversation was leaned into, breathed in, savored. Each departure was followed with the turn and lean of his chest, pulled to follow from the sure grip on his thumping heart until his doubts rooted him down and resisted the tug.
You were plagued by your own doubts, mostly of what the “after” would look like, but you were certain of one thing: he was attracted. Along with his need to entwine with your presence, you’d noticed the tell-tale sign of his gaze drawn to lips, neck, breasts, hips, and thighs. You’d noticed the hunger growing his pupils so they could better suck in your image on each glance. You’d noticed how he had to keep flicking his tongue out to wet his lips, mouth dry from restrained need. Most importantly, you’d noticed the way he had to shift and shuffle while he watched you dance, fighting the need to pull you away for himself to join and trying to flush the heat from his body. Whatever it was that was holding him in his seat and keeping his hands and lips and tongue off of you, you were going to drag him right through it until he was fully in your grasp.
First thing’s first, you retook your spot on the stool next to him at the bar. Immediately the smoke tendrils embraced you; your drink was scooted back in front of you, his thigh slid sideways to seek the brush of yours, a lethargic smile took residence on his face to greet you. You responded with a coy smile of your own and then a hearty gulp of your drink. The steady burn and potent taste of liquorice cutting through the muddled mint and lemon centered you and heartened you for your plan of attack.
“Thanks, Becks, glad to have you as my cocktail guard dog,” you said with teasing humor. You gave his thigh a friendly pat that crossed the amicable boundary with a lingering hold and gentle squeeze, before you brought the hand back up to give you another sip of your drink. The taste of touch on his thick muscle had it twitch in delight. Your mouth watered at the feel, not quite sated with alcohol on your tongue when there should be skin.
“Any time, darlin’,” Beckman responded easily and honestly. “Though I don’t think there’s any here who would do much to it. Much more likely one of the fools will steal it to drink for themselves.”
You laughed at the statement, knowing how true it was. When the crew was drunk they got sticky fingers, and when it came to drinks they were the worst - none quite remembering whose was whose and caring even less to get it right. Knowing where you wanted to try and get this night to go, you’d kept yourself far behind them in intoxication. You kept yourself right in the sweet spot of inebriated enough for that coveted liquid courage but not so much that you were out of control of yourself. Besides, if you got your way you didn’t want any of the details to be foggy.
“Even so, it’s appreciated,” you reasserted, giving him a winning smile and stalling his heart. “Now can I ask another favor of you?”
“‘Course you can, darlin’,” he replied instantly. Another cheer rang out in the background, followed by the beginnings of a long and loud drinking song. Beckman used this as an excuse to lean into your space to better hear and see you. “What can I do for you?”
You centered yourself more forward towards the bar, just to force him to lean in even closer to chase you, and peeked at him from the corner of your eye. The look mixed with your mischievous smile had him ready and eager to agree to whatever you had in mind. Not that he’d let you see how easy it was for you to sway him.
“Well…” you trailed off, just to make him squirm, “I can think of lots of things you could do for me. I’m having trouble picking my favorite.”
Beckman’s brows rose at the blatant flirting. Sure, you’d both thrown some flirtatious comments at each other throughout your relationship, but they didn’t feel anything like this. They felt easy, friendly - like something to build rapport and have fun. This felt so much heavier - a gift offered to him that was pulling the possibility of closeness from cloudy dreams down to the ground with the weight of the warm cast of the bar lights, the dark desire in your eyes, and the sultry tone of your voice. He began to recount how many drinks he’d had to check if he was imagining the advances he’d long wished for. Maybe he should check for you too.
“Darlin’, how many drinks you got in you?” There was genuine concern in the question, mixing with a touch of incredulity. You scoffed at it all.
“Not enough to lose my sense, thank you very much,” you answered. To snub his misplaced worries, you downed the rest of your drink. “That was only the fifth of the night, we’ve been here hours, and you know it takes much more than that to take me down.”
“That it does,” Beckmann conceded. The bare affection in his voice and eyes while he said it had you flushing, finding care much more difficult to process than lust. “Now my task?”
Yet again, you took to keeping him in suspense. Instead of answering, you slowly drew your gaze over him, assessing him. He fought against the small shiver it put through him; he felt like you were staring straight through his clothes. He felt like he was getting the most important appraisal of his life and all he had to go on was the burning in your eyes and your cryptic smile. You were doing a better job of reading him; while his expression remained perfectly schooled, you were observant enough to see his tells. Just as when he watched you dance, he shifted in his seat, working through the flush of arousal poured on him from his nervousness and having your eyes glued to him. Between the curtains of his wavy silver hair, you saw his Adam's apple bob with a strong swallow. He started lightly drumming on the bartop with his fingers on the hand closest to you.
Using that to your advantage, you made your next move. Doing it slowly so he could layer each second with his anticipation, you trailed your fingertips across the knuckles of his fidgeting hand, halting the motion. You flicked your gaze up to check in on his eyes. They mostly held confusion, but so so much interest was also packed into his silver irises. Happy with the reaction, you proceeded to move your teasing touch further, traveling over the back of his hand and his wrist to play with the soft hair on his forearm in deliberate circles. Though he was nearly bursting with questions, Beckman kept his mouth shut and resolved to let you lead this at your own pace until you finally decided it was time to reveal your hand to him.
“I’ve decided,” you started, finally breaking the silence with an alluring whisper, “that I want more than one favor.” You stopped watching your fingers touch him to look at him through your lashes. “And I know where you can start.”
Beckman blew out a long breath, hoping to settle down his heart, which was still jumping and kicking. You’re not drunk, but this has to be the alcohol. You couldn’t be propositioning him. Him. Maybe he’s just a curiosity? Perhaps you were interested in trying out an experience with an older lover who’s had more years to learn his way around a woman? Maybe, even though you could have your choice of any of the patrons, you found him to be the easy target.
“And where is that?” he asked, making sure to keep his tone steady.
“You can take me home.” You noticed the real shock in his gaze, and for the first time in the encounter a bit of panic seeped into you. Thinking quickly to soften the blow, you explained, “Don’t wanna walk home alone with even a little alcohol in me, and I know you’ll take care of me.”
“Aye, darlin’, that I will.” The honesty in his words stoked your courage back into a steady burn even better than the one brought on by the hard drinks.
Using the hand that had been trailing over his forearm, you loosely held his wrist, slid smoothly from your seat, and began leading him out of the bar. Beckman followed you easily. You didn’t have to put any pressure behind your hold on him; he wouldn’t let you get more than a step ahead of him. Even with his close hover, you both ducked and weaved with practiced grace through the chaos of your crew and the rowdy celebration they’d whipped up with all the other patrons. By the time you’d reached the entrance, you’d ducked three swinging fists, five drunken “dances”, two frisbeed hats, one flung fork, and a pair of tossed shirts.
The door shutting behind you sealed away the cacophony of the crowd, melding it with the comforting ambience of late night bugsong and strangers distantly living their lives. The outside world felt pleasantly chill and calm, especially in contrast to the atmosphere of the bar. The slight bite to the air only made the small contact between the two of you feel that much sweeter in its skin-to-skin warmth. Both you and Beckman sucked in a deep breath of crisp evening air to savor the moment. 
Throwing a cheeky (and, to his worry, slightly plotting) smile his way, you began to head in the direction of the docks. You only made it about eight steps. The moment the alley between buildings opened on your right, you yanked Beckman into the shadows with you. He stumbled after you with barely a fight, continuing his emotional flavors of the night: confused, intrigued, and happy to be here. Once you fell past the full streams of light from the street lamps, you spun around to him and pounced. 
You began by rooting him in place, fisting your hands tight into his shirt by his waist and stepping so close that your chests and stomachs and hips and thighs touched. You leaned up to place a kiss right above the point in his v-neck, relishing the heat of his skin against your lips. You shivered at the feeling of a twitch of interest against your lower stomach. His hands quickly found your waist and gripped. He worried the flesh under his fingers, earning his first quiet moan from you. It only made his grip stiffen, warring with himself between his disbelief at your advances and the rabid need to pull you closer and make sure you never stopped.
Beckman began to use his hold on you to ease you back from him. You responded with a frustrated whine and greedy hands. Those hands massaged their way across the packed muscles of his sides and chest before twisting in the fabric over his large pecs and tugging him down to your height. Taking advantage of the untouched skin now within reach, you kissed and sucked your way over his collarbone and up his neck.
His plan of retreat crumbled under your advance, leaving him to paw his grip down to the meat of your hips and try not to succumb to the fierce instinct to grind his aching cock against you. Your head spun with your rushing blood and skipping breaths. The whirl was spurred on by finally getting to know the taste of his skin, the feeling of his coveting hands keeping you close, the sound of his stuttering breaths morphing into panting. Now you just needed to spur him from receiving into action.
“Beck, touch me,” you whispered against his ear. He shivered fully from your lips and breath ghosting over him and filling his skin with addictive tingles. Losing his concentration, Beckman guided your hips in one long, sturdy grind against his straining hardness. You nipped his earlobe in appreciation. “I want you to touch me.”
“You’re drunk,” he weakly protested.
“We both know I’m not,” you shot back. Switching your methods, you crawled your hands up his shoulders, his neck, and into his hair. You led him with sweet and teasing kisses against his cheek and jaw, playing with the way his head always tilted to follow your affections in a wanting daze.
“You should look for another man to share your body,” he tried again, this time managing to sound assertive through the breathiness of his voice.
“Do you really want another man touching me?” you bit back at him.
“No,” he instantly growled. The mere idea had always put a pang in his heart but feeling your touch and hearing the words from you made it more real, and he was no match for the spike of angry possessiveness that overtook him.
“Good,” you cooed coyly, lips back against his ear, “because I don’t want that either.” You took a long moment to tease your nails against his scalp and nip the skin next to his pulse. He succumbed to another torturous grind against you. Each press of him gave you a better idea of what he was hiding and had your mind running rampant trying to figure out how it would feel splitting you open.
“I want you,” you moaned, pushing all the genuine need into your voice that you could.
“Come on, pretty thing, you don’t mean that,” Beckman stubbornly argued. He’d sound much more convincing if he wasn’t moaning the words out with his strained rumble, turning the statement into a plea.
“I do though,” you whined back to him, right below his ear where you were working hard to leave another pretty mark. For all his propriety fueled hesitation, Beckman was still leaning down so you could reach his neck and tilting his stubbled jaw away, pleading for more of your attention. “I do mean it.”
Your own desperation and his unspoken pleas for your touch fueled your boldness. One of your hands left his tresses to wedge between your pressed hips and grab a hold of him. A groan shook through his ribs, only encouraging your hand to press and feel more. His cock twitched and jumped under your slow strokes and palming, begging for your touch when he wouldn’t. His cheek fell to your shoulder and his humid panting caressed your neck.
“Pretty girl, if you keep touching me like that,” his speech was interrupted by a poorly restrained moan, “I’m not gonna be able to keep my head.”
“Then don’t,” you encouraged, voice rushed and ravenous and pulling him to the depths of his urges in his new favorite siren song.
Having felt him in your palm, you became set on getting to feel him skin to skin. You wanted to feel the power of the radiant heat that poured from him so strongly you both felt like you were burning through your clothes. You wanted to see what’s been hidden from you, become privy to secrets that will let your fantasies forever hold more reality. You wanted to know he let you have this piece of him, let you take his body and take control of his pleasure. On top of all of that, you wanted to feel, see, and know the thick hardness that was going to stretch you wide open.
In your rush, you only gave yourself time to trail a few kisses down his chest on your way to your knees. Beckman leaned himself back on the wall of the bar, opening himself up to as much of your touch as you would give. He still attempted to keep his defense under the siege of temptation, taking to opening and closing his hands at his sides to keep them from manhandling you. He wasn’t strong enough, however, to push you away. Each touch of yours was teasing him with the heaven he’d been dreaming of finding under your hands and in your body. Now having had a taste of your touch, It’d take nothing short of a gun to the head for him to break from anything you were willing to give. Doesn’t mean he won’t try to steer it so you’re taken care of the way he wants you to be.
He looked down at you, hypnotized by the radiant image of you and your styled hair and your decorated lashes and your smudged lipstick actually kissing him, treating him with the desire he thought impossible. His eyes had long adjusted to the darkness of the alley, blessedly letting him take in this image to hoard forever. 
As your knees hit the dirt path, it hit him - alley. You were getting yourself dirty to touch him, basically in public in your rush, stuck in a location with only hard ground and stone walls for comfort. The realization had his cock throb hard, getting an eager moan from you where you were kissing along his length while your fingers made their way under his sash to find the waistline of his trousers. Fuck, this was a dream. It was a dream, but not the one he wanted for you where he takes his time worshiping every inch of skin, treating you like royalty, going slow so when he makes you cum it shakes you from toes to fingertips to the crown of your head-
“Darlin’, you deserve better than some back alley fu-”
“What I deserve is you; now let me have you,” you grumbled back to him, nosing his sash up so you could leave kisses and nips right above the hem of his pants. You inched them lower and lower, following their descent with your hungry mouth and savoring every new speck of skin you could. You got past the ridge of his adonis belt when you realized he had nothing on underneath them, making your mouth water with ever more anticipation. You could tell from the tenseness in his muscles, the tremors in his thighs under your clawing grip, that he was at the end of his rope. Centering a kiss on his happy trail, you looked straight up into his eyes and ordered, “Now fuck me.”
You were just about to get his pants low enough to let his painfully hard cock out to greet with a kiss when an angry hand took hold of the hair at the back of your head. It clamped in a fist and turned, taking absolute control of you. White hot adrenaline poured through your body, bursting fresh with each hard pound of your heart and stuttering your every breath. That iron grip jerked back, forcing you to crane your head back with it and look up at the imposing bulk of Beckman looming over at you.
“You want me to fuck you?” he growled dangerously, leering down at you with a growing scowl. Steadily he curled himself down until his nose bumped yours and you were sure you could see how the lighting and lust had turned his eyes from shining silver to dark stone. The light pulsing in your scalp was no match for the shadowed face and piercing eyes of Beckman taking over your every thought and dragging your heartbeat low to drum between your legs. “Fine. I’ll fuck you like the slut you’re set on being.”
“I’ll happily be a slut if it's for you,” you breathed out before you could think, sounding nearly in a trance from his sudden dominant behavior.
The declaration had his cock jumping and his knees weak.
“Darlin’,” he moaned, voice stretched thin by his taut, straining need. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
He surged down, stealing your lips in a bruising kiss, using his hold on your hair to control every tilt and press. Right away, you opened to each other, exploring the flavor of each other’s tongues and indulging in the tingles brought on by sliding the slick muscles over each other. You shivered and moaned when he flicked the point of his tongue on the roof of your mouth and he swallowed the sound down greedily. Never breaking his claim on your lips, Beckman hauled you up to your feet. The action set a pleasant burn on your scalp as you chase the pull of his grip. Your hands went back to work on getting his cock free, but he snatched them up.
“No,” he rumbled against your lips. “You’re just going to take what I give you.”
“Beckman,” you whined back to him between your continued fervent kisses, “let me touch you.”
“Sluts don’t make demands,” he snapped in a bitter taunt. Using his height to his advantage, he pulled out of the reach of your lips. He was still able to lean down over you and keep distance, forcing you to keep your head craned back with his fist in your hair and his gaze holding you hostage. “I thought this was what you wanted.”
“I want you,” you moaned in complaint. Though your voice was warbly with want, your tone was way too petulant to be considered begging. Even so, it was testing his resolve.
“You’ll have me,” he answered gruffly. 
Before you could realize what was happening, you were flipped around and swapped, now facing the rough wall of the bar with Beckman right behind you. He had released your hair so he could trap each of your wrists to your sides. He kicked your feet to spread with heavy boots and settled eagerly against your ass. He anchored you against him by pulling on your wrists, keeping you trapped against his grinding hips. The height difference had him centered at the level of your tailbone. The feeling of having you against his cock was overwhelming, especially with the plush of your ass massaging at his sensitive balls. Quiet grunts accompanied each circle of his hips, always carried with the erotic sound of his heavy breaths.
You tilted forward and arched your hips up, seeking attention against your weeping entrance and swollen clit. The change had his dick nestle between your cheeks, the base of his cock and his tense balls giving you a small piece of the pleasure you were seeking. He stood just barely too tall for them to give any attention to your clit, causing you to shift and shimmy back into him in search of more. Despite the lack of direct stimulation, your body was still in a pleasant buzz; he felt large and heavy and hot against you and your mind was swimming in joy at how hard you made him. The open-mouthed groan you earned from him with your squirming shot enough pleasure through you to have your clit pulsing.
“On your toes, slut,” he ordered.
You listened without thinking about it and were rewarded with the new height lining him up much better to grind against everywhere you wanted him. Well - almost everywhere. Most of all you ached for him to massage you inside out, rub and dig into every slick plush space you could offer. Despite the burn already entering your calves, you tilted your ass up even higher to feel any extra speck of friction you could get from him.
Beckman’s grip on your hips was commanding, he owned your every sway and grind of your clothed cunt and ass against him. The skirt you were wearing was beginning to ride up with each thrust, exposing inch after inch of fresh skin to his hungry eyes. Both of you thanked your choice of garment as he used one hand to shove it up and over your perked ass to hang limply around your waist. It swayed and brushed your legs with each continued motion, hypnotizing Beckman for a moment. 
That moment was broken when he instead looked at your ass, smooshed high and round with each grind, your underwear cutting sinful lines across the muscle, making your skin pop around the tension in the most mouth-watering way. It had Beckman moaning from deep in his chest again and thanking whatever lucky stars he had that let him have you in front of him like this. The sight mixed with the new heat from being just that much closer to getting to your bare cunt had a flurry of possessiveness and need overcome him. He nearly bowed forward to the strength of it, but fought the call so he could keep watching your body writhe against him.
You had no doubt you were sopping wet, more than enough to make his slide in slick. Each grind of him against you had your soaked panties dragging with him, causing sharp friction that was just on the right side of too much. You wondered faintly if you were getting his pants wet too, wishing you could easily turn and see to find out. You wouldn’t have been disappointed; a steady dark spot had built on his crotch from a mix of your leaking pussy and his weeping cock. You had gotten him dripping pre-cum the moment you began kissing down his chest. It had only gotten worse with each touch, his body desperate and ready to be inside you.
Suddenly, one of his hands and his hips disappeared from you, leaving you feeling lost. Before you could stop yourself, you let out a whining moan at the loss, sounding fucked out and pathetic without either of you truly being touched yet. The small coherent part of yourself marveled at the number he had done on you.
“Don’t you worry, pretty thing,” Beckman grumbled, half placating and half condescending. The sound of shuffling fabric clued you in to his missing hand’s task. “I’ll give you just what you need.”
His large fingers hooked into the sides of your underwear, guiding them over your ass until they fell down. Your slightly spread legs had them catch on your thighs and Beckman huffed at the inconvenience.
“Stay right there,” he rumbled in warning as he crouched down. He dragged the soaked cloth the rest of the way off, guiding you with gentle cues. The slide of his fingertips down your legs sent tingles across your skin, but the delicate hold he put on each ankle to ease them out of the garment had your heart thumping. In this process his touch switched from tyrannical to reverent, making your mind sing with hope. That song only hit a great crescendo when he peppered the backs of your thighs with sweet and slow kisses.
As he rose back up and shoved the ruined cloth in his pocket, Beckman broke you both out of his worshiping trance by giving a playful and slightly mean nip to your left hip. You let out a little yelp despite yourself and he chuckled at the reaction, finding it absurdly cute. You shivered again at the throaty sound, nerves too easily tweaked from your potent anticipation. It only got worse when his hips found yours again.
Both of you moaned at the feeling of finally meeting skin to skin, immediately addicted to the wet heat and heady throb of each other. You sent your hips high with renewed vigor, spurred on by the need to chase more of the feeling of his thick cock against you. You were right about him being thick and long; his grinds spread your folds wide, exposing your entrance and clit to the sweet friction, and he laid across the length of your pelvis. It let him see the leaking red head of his cock peeking out from between your cheeks, the filthy image making his eyes roll back and an involuntary moan of “fuck, darlin’” growl out of him.
Beckman hooked his right arm around your front, nestling it as close to the tops of your thighs as he could get. It let him use your hip bones for stability in his hold, saving you from your weight crushing the limb into your stomach. The anticipation of feeling your legs bounce against his arm while he fucks you had him salivating.
He curled his arm, pulling your lower back flush to his abs. It made him take your weight, the toes of your shoes just barely scuffing the ground when you pointed them. You’d seen his insane strength before, but feeling it used on you had your body lighting on fire along with your cheering mind. Beckman’s other hand slid from your hip down and in on your thigh, spreading and lifting your leg until he was holding the inside of your knee out to the side. It left your cunt exposed to him, each grind of his further mixing your arousal with the pre-cum spreading down his cock. 
“Hold that wall and keep your voice down,” Beckman instructed, “Unless you’re such a whore you need an audience.”
You let out a complaining moan at the harsh words but still writhed eagerly against him, unable to deny how they had you fluttering in anticipation. Your hands found purchase on the stone wall in front of you, giving you a sense of balance and security in your barely supported upper body. You were close to it so your arms were bent, allowing you strength and leverage. The force behind his grinds had you sure you’d need it.
Slowly and deliberately, Beckman slid his cock from root to tip between your slick folds, threatening you with his impressive length while he made sure he was properly coated. He only stalled the movement when his thick tip found its way down to your entrance. Unable to help himself, he ground a tight circle around it, groaning out a deep “fuck” at the feeling of your cunt trying its best to suck him in. You let out another keening moan, sounding vaguely like “please”, at the realization that his head was the perfect width to stretch you out right to the edge of your limits.
Angling his hips just right, Beckman followed the catch of your entrance to start forcing his way into you. You were right about the size of him; only his mushroomed tip was in and you already felt like your hips were being pressed wider. His achingly slow sink into you let you both feel every overwhelming bit of contact, every delicious rub of soaked skin on skin. Your mouth hung open, letting out appreciative moans, even though your attempts to hold them back left them clipped and jumbled.
Beckman had to shut his eyes and scrunch his brow to handle all the sensations flooding him. You felt so goddamn perfect wrapped around him. He felt somewhere in his being that you were made to be here with each other and force bliss from your pounding hearts and bodies. He finally fell to the call to curl as close to you as possible, his temple rested on yours, his stubble teasing your cheek, and stray gray hairs sweeping down to tickle your skin.
“So, so good, darlin’,” he praised breathlessly. He made it another inch into you, offering your cunt more firm flesh to clamp down on. “You feel better than a dream -nnngh- got the perfect pussy for me.”
An unrestrained moan tumbled past your lips at his praise, brain too empty and body too happy to care about anything anymore other than him and the feelings he brought out in you. The cheering and music from the bar was loud enough to lightly leak through the walls, so you wouldn’t have worried too much about attracting attention anyway. 
He hadn’t prepped you any, but the abundant arousal sitting in your body so long loosened you up and made sure there was more than enough lubrication for him, especially with the addition of his own. His torturously slow press into you helped your body make room for him too. In fact, your pussy was so eager to open for him he felt like your walls were trying to suck him in quicker as they quaked and trembled around him. It made it near impossible to resist the urge to shove as deep into you as he could go, needing the hot grip of you around his aching cock and the pleasure of your plush ass and thighs pressed tight against his hips.
When he finally got there, you were both shaking and gasping. Your head felt light with the amount of bliss swimming through you at finally having him like this, held tightly in you while you shared your bodies. It also helped that he had you feeling so deliciously full; the press of him was potent enough to spread through your sides and up through your chest. It was the biggest stretch you’d taken but his size was just perfect, like he was built just to fit you and you him. The weight of his thick cock rested down towards your stomach, primed to massage your every favorite nerve.
“Just like that, darlin’,” Beckman groaned, starting his first pull back out of you. He continued with his slow speed to make you feel every ridge and vein in detail. Your favorite was the rim of his head dragging across your swollen walls. He sat that head just within your entrance and paused. “Bein’ such a good little slut.”
Right at the end of his praise, he shoved forward to fully sheathe himself back in you. The force of the thrust pressed the air from your lungs, creating a breathy moan, and gave you a taste of pleasure that had you certain that no matter how long he fucked you, you’d always want more of this potent bliss. You could live like this, fucked the rest of your life, just so long as he never stopped taking and touching you. He continued the strong and steady pace, needing to savor every second in your cunt, memorize every twitch and flutter. It had you whining, mind fraying under the threat of how much more he could give you.
“Beckman,” you moaned in frustration. “Give me more, I -ahhh- I need it.”
A punishing thrust had you feel him in your throat and your eyes rolled back in time with your high pitched moan. That moan turned into a rough whine when he stayed sat fully inside you instead of continuing. To tease you further, he began tight circles against you, making his pulsing cock play with every inch of your cunt, earning him a tight clench from you. This tantalizing rub continued as he moved to nip at your ear lobe.
“What did I say about making demands,” he warned, rumbling the words right against your ear. The puffs of his breaths shot goose bumps up your neck. He tilted his head down to tease his teeth over the flesh and continued his maddening little circles against you. With one leg trapped in his grip and the other barely reaching the ground, you had almost no leverage to work yourself back against him. Your abs burned with the effort as you tried to use your grip on the wall to stabilize yourself and grind back, but his iron grip was much stronger than any of your attempts.
You sobbed out a few needy moans at his continued meticulous playing with your body. Though you wanted so much more right away, that steady press of him waking up every inch of your insides was starting to build a pit deeper in your stomach than the one you were used to. Your mouth watered at the thought of what a full body high it could bring you but it felt so far away and you wanted to be smothered in pleasure now.
“Beckman,” you whined out, catching the way it made his breath hitch over your skin. “More, harder.”
Nothing changed and you were stuck spread open and suspended and at the mercy of his whims. It was the most deliciously frustrating thing you’d ever experienced, being forced to take the slow treatment. It made your body and mind agonize over every little sensation, every pulse and throb, every inch of you he reached that you’d never felt before. It made your ears take in the obscene sound of the little motions of his cock pushing drop after drop of your arousal out of your entrance to drip down his balls and your thigh. You flushed at how graphic it sounded, ears, face, and neck burning, especially with your combined heavy breaths and mixed moans and groans.
“You’re gonna have to try much harder than that, pretty little thing,” he goaded. You could hear the taunting condescension in his voice and you cursed the fact that it made your pussy spasm around him. The twitch of his cock that it earned inside you swelled your desperation to feel more from him until it swallowed your pride whole.
“Please,” you gasped, near truly sobbing in need. “Pleeeeease, fuck me harder, Beck, fuck me faster, please, just -hhhah- just need more.”
Beckman sucked harshly on your neck and set about answering your pleas. He changed right to fucking you fast and hard, making you yelp at the immediate flood of sensation. Your thigh and hips jumped in his grasp as you tried to take the onslaught. Every nerve in your pussy burned in the most beautiful way, emptying your head of any thoughts other than Beckman working your body into a quick frenzy. His teeth, lips, and tongue were decorating the sensitive skin of your neck; his hands and arm were clamped, making you feel blessedly trapped; his torso hovered on the back of yours, giving you brushes of his hard working muscles in motion; and his cock - his perfect cock - was bullying you open over and over and lighting every quaking inch of you ablaze.
Through your panting breaths and scattered moans, you could hear the wet slap of his hips against you, each impact making a little more arousal gush out of you. Being spread as you were also let his heavy balls tap against your clit with each hard thrust, ensuring every wired part of your pussy was seen to. You could barely form words but you were sure he caught the slurred praises you sent his way from how he echoed them back and kept adding more and more heat, pressure, grind, suck, and drag on you at your breathless moaning.
Stuck on the start of the encounter, he kept repeating a favored phrase to you - “So good, darlin’, such a good fucking slut”.
“Your slut,” you panted, “only -hnngh- yours.”
The pledge of ownership had his eyes rolling back and his mouth more ravenous against your skin. He needed to keep you locked to him forever, be on your skin forever, brand you as his, and have you mark him as yours.
“That’s right, darlin’,” he rasped, “only mine.”
He dropped your suspended thigh in favor of sinking a bruising grip into your hip. Your thighs clapped together with a wet smack, forcing a yelp from you as it jolted your clit. He placed an apologetic kiss on your shoulder and got right back to his tempo. The deep pressure he’d built with his deliberate grinding was now added to by every thrust, creating a shaking warning of the orgasm to come that sat from hip to hip and up to your ribs. It felt like he was fucking you just as deep, each drive of his cock seeming to replace the beating of your heart in your chest.
The new dancing on your toes had your calves, thighs, and abs working in sporadic clenches and twitches, the jerks and shifts causing pulses around your clit and into your trembling cunt. The new position made him feel all the wider as it let your labia relax around him and light up with delicious friction on each thrust in and pull out. The squeeze of your legs and muscles also put constant pressure on your clit, which Beckman would jostle with each forceful fuck into you. 
All of it was getting to be too much and you were happily drowning under the rising tide of that threatening orgasm. It was swimming through your body so thoroughly you were sure you could feel each strong thrust pull pleasure from your very bones. Every piece of you that lived between your hips felt blinding white hot and pulsing and alive and so so very good. 
The cherry on top of your euphoria were the pieces of the feeling you could hear echoed in Beckman. His voice was deep and groaning but also strained and fucked out as it whispered dark praises against your neck and shoulder. His breath was ragged and just as desperate as his touch, which was trying its best to permanently attach to your skin. His aching cock was just as responsive as your trembling pussy, dripping and twitching and jumping with each move and touch of your body.
Responding to the telling grip of your cunt clamping down constantly around him, Beckman slowed his pace slightly, focusing instead on the strength of each thrust and keeping his angle just right to drag you to your end. It accented the sound of each strong clap of his hips into yours and brought back clarity to the feeling of his thick cock spearing you. Your mouth hung open, panting and watering from the change of pace and unending pound and pull of him fucking your cunt into the shape of him.
“Beckman, Beckman, Beckman -ahh!- so cloooose,” you cried, voice thin and desperate. He cursed and moaned in response, the sound of you nearly making him lose himself and cum before you. He kept his pace pounding into you, each firm fuck lighting up your tightening walls and bouncing through your swollen folds and thighs to drum on your clit. Your head was swimming; despite your fast and canting breaths, you felt like you couldn't breathe, the air escaping you with each thrust beating a needy moan from your open mouth. The burn for oxygen only added to the tightly wound pleasure gripping you from throat to cunt, clawing tightest from your hips in, held steady between his sturdy hands. 
Your toes and fingers tingled numbly in anticipation and shook just like the rest of you. Instinct tilted your hips just a degree higher, letting the tip of his dick tap just so against your cervix, ramping the overwhelming build even higher than you thought possible. Your moans yelped out sharper and higher amid sobs of “don’t stop, don’t stop, pleeeeease”, making Beckman groan and curse in his own mind-numbing arousal and frantic fight not to cum first.
A few more thrusts blazing across your cunt and shaking deep in your gut had the tension finally burst. You felt it first in the shot of electricity from your clit down to your toes and up to your buzzing head, before the tight pulse of your muscles took over everything. You writhed and shook against Beckman as he held you like a lifeline, trying desperately to fuck you through every second of heaven you could feel instead of following you over the edge. Each jerk and clench of your body gave you more and more bliss, the squeeze of you so tight and sure that it felt like there was only room for Beckman’s large cock in your body. 
He couldn’t manage to pull even an inch out of your cunt, too weak to deny himself the bliss of feeling you cum, so he guided you through with shallow but heavy thrusts. Each tap on your cervix swelled you more and more until you weren’t sure if you had already cum or there was something else building on the other side of this endless screaming song in your nerves. Your answer came with the feeling of a snap that switched your cunt from long pulses into frantic milking down on Beckman’s jolting cock. Each squeeze was powerful enough to cause a full jerk and shudder of your hips, having you slip and grind in Beckman’s clawing hold on your hips.
“Fuck, darlin’, sweetheart, fu-uuuck, you’re too good, too much -ngah!- so goddamn perfect,” Beckman moaned out a stream of mindless praises while he shoved his forehead into the side of your neck, your only anchor in the torrent of sensation ripping through your body. After an eternity, your muscles and nerves began to relax, leaving your body feeling limp and heavy in the wake of your pleasure. You were positive nothing worked anymore except for your clit and cunt, both still drooling and twitching over Beckman’s shallow thrusts. You were thankful your closed legs kept the attention from overstimulating you fully. Beckam felt your body relax, getting an addicting sense of pride from fucking you into a limp puddle, and finally took to chasing his own pleasure.
“Need to see you,” he gasped, flipping you around and desperately pressing his twitching cock back into you. He shuddered at the relief, feeling ravenous and untethered every second he couldn’t be inside you. All his sanity was now held in the taste of your skin, the pleasure in your voice, and the sweet clench of your plush cunt. Pressing your foreheads together, he made it impossible to look anywhere but at each other. Even in the low light that managed to sneak between the buildings with you, Beckman’s silver eyes glowed while taking you in. The color looked sharper pressed thin by his lust-blown pupils and you were hypnotized as his gaze swallowed you whole. 
Seeing the needy scrunch of his brows and the way he switched back and forth between clenching his jaw and hanging his mouth open to moan freely sent fresh sparks straight down to your clit. Having your legs spread around him had his racing thrusts teetering you on the edge of overstimulation, but it was well worth the sight and feeling of him rabidly chasing down his pleasure in your cunt. He was mindless and rutting in his need, enjoying your sopping heat contrasting with your nails scrabbling for purchase on his broad shoulders. The hug of your thighs around his waist kept him close and added to the wondrously tight clench of you that seemed to spread over his whole body. He was so, so close he just needed one little nudge.
“Beckman, please, need you -hahhn- need you to cum in me,” you begged, tone broken from all your moaning.
He was kicked right over the edge, barking out a deep “fuck” at the power of the orgasm shredding through him. He jerked his lips down to yours, holding you in an open mouthed kiss full of tongue and teeth and groans. He shoved himself as close as he could get to you, trapping you near painfully tight against the stone wall with his pressing bulk, demanding lips, and throbbing cock. His dick jumped hard with each pump of hot sticky cum deep in your cunt. It warmed you inside out and mixed with the heady knowledge that you’d completely unraveled this imposing man to unexpectedly drag you into a milder orgasm of your own. Each heavy jerk of him helped guide you through your own bliss, bodies working in perfect synch to have every pump answered with a coaxing squeeze. It kept you both suspended in your mindless heaven until you’d wrung every bit of pleasure from each other that your bodies could possibly give. 
Beckman was certain that you’d sucked his very soul from him if the numb and clumsy feeling of his body was anything to go by. It wasn’t ready to listen to him, acting like it belonged to someone else and he supposed that was true; it was yours now. You’d held his heart a long time and his mind even longer, so it was only fitting that you owned his body too. 
You didn’t seem to be doing much better with being in charge of your body, eyes half-lidded and lashes fluttering against the need to close. You were a vision - your foggy and affectionate gaze glued to him from under dark lashes, the flush tinting your sweat-damp skin, your lips parted and kiss-swollen, hair a wild crown around your head, decorating your face with stray strands. He studied and admired the image of you fucked-out and languid with eagerness and reverence. You were doing much the same, enjoying his mussed silver waves of soft locks, his gently shining eyes, the hints of red on the apples of his cheeks and his chest, the heavy rise and fall of his sculpted shoulders as he tried to catch his breath.
The sound of a drinking song spiking high in volume snuck through the wall and shattered your illusion of privacy. You were both suddenly back against the side of the bar instead of whatever pocket world you had carved out for just yourselves. Beckman continued to hold you steady as he slowly let your tired legs down, your skirt following after to hang back in place. Your legs shook under you like it was your first time standing and you laughed at their clumsiness. Beckman cracked a loving smile at you, stealing your breath and halting your chuckles. Again the melody within the bar seeped out to you clearly and you laughed even louder this time when you recognized one of Shanks’ favorite tunes. While he tucked himself away, Beckman raised a brow at your cackling until he recognized the song too and added his own gentle laughter to yours.
Looking him straight in the eyes, you fought to sing along properly through your bubbling giggles.
“I took that lass and smacked her ass
Said darlin you’re comin’ with me”
He took your hips and pulled you to him, guiding you in the closest to a swaying dance that your uncooperative legs would allow. He quietly joined you on the next lines, treating you to the deep and raspy parts of his voice that lived in his chest.
“Ain’t got a hall but we’ll use the wall
Just give me an hour or three”
“What do you say, darlin’?” Beckman asked with humor dancing in the light reflections in his eyes. There was a seriousness underlying his tone in his next question, however. “Willing to give me a few more hours?”
You gave him a sweet smile but turned it coy, your attitude sneaking back as your mind stabilized. “You’ve got one to convince me to keep you.”
Beckman huffed out a laugh at your bite coming back and leaned down to kiss your forehead affectionately. He took a moment to rest his cheek atop your head, breathing in the smell of your shampoo, delicately tinged with a touch of sweat and sex. It had him shiver and start to twitch back to life. Slowly, he trailed kisses from the top of your head to the tip of your ear. His warm breath made you shiver and begin to heat again as well.
“Sweet darlin’,” Beckman mumbled, lips tickling the rim of your ear, “I’ll have you back to begging for me in half the time. Gotta show you that I don’t just know how to fuck; I can worship.”
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hollowdeath ¡ 11 months ago
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i recently came across your blog and i’m literally in love
i’m here because i can’t stop thinking about (adult) soft dom harry that tries to stay gentle but can’t hold himself back :(( brainrot is real
honestly do what u will with this i’m just happy to share it
AAA now you're speakin my language here !!! i will GLADLYYY sit here all day n think abt this one…
content warning: smut!!!! oral sex, penetration, 18+
word count: 750
soft dom harry who wants to let you know he's in the mood by asking you if you'd like a back rub, a foot massage, anything where he can just get his hands on you…once he does he can't help but let his hands wander, his lips following soon after, and he'd quickly get carried away and have you covered in bites before you even realize it…
harry would be so eager to get your clothes off he'd nearly rip them off you as you giggle, telling him to slow down with a teasing voice. he'd be a bit ashamed at first, apologizing with a shy smile before being more careful with you, savoring the feeling of taking your clothes off of you. but if your panties are in the way, he feels no remorse in roughly ripping them off of you to get what he wants.
everyone already knows how i feel about harry and oral…he'll be soooo teasingly slow with you at first, loving the way you squirm and beg for more just before he completely loses himself in your pussy. he'll overstimulate you after you already came to the point of desperation, practically having to push him away from you just to get a moment of rest. he'd still want more, sometimes even convincing you to let him keep going despite your exhaustion. but it's okay because he lovesss to tell you just how much of a good girl you were afterwards, praising you endlessly while holding you close to him to calm down your trembling body.
or, if you gave harry oral, he'd hold your face with his hand as you got started. "so pretty," he'd tell you, encouraging you with his moans and praise. soon he'd get lost in the pleasure, his hand traveling from your cheek to your hair as he starts gently moving it out of the way for you. before long he has all of it completely wrapped around his hand, using it to push your head a bit faster and deeper onto him. his hips would thrust into your mouth out of desperation and cause you to gag. pulling your hair back, he'd carefully make sure you were okay, really okay, before pushing your mouth back onto his cock with the same force as before.
harry being afraid to hurt you as you adjust to his cock inside of you, carefully watching your facial expressions as he slowly pushes deeper into you, the hunger in him growing the longer he looks at you. after you start moaning, whimpering, grabbing for harry's shoulders, he knows you're enjoying yourself and starts to let his guard down, thrusting at a consistent pace before pulling you in for a heated kiss. from there he just falls apart, his grip on you bruising the skin, his thrusts aggressive and sloppy, his teeth sinking into your neck in the most vulnerable places. he's like an animal just chasing his high, using you for his pleasure.
you try not to whimper too loud because then harry comes out of his state of bliss, realizing how aggressive he's being with you before slowing back down. you'd always beg him please, please harry, it's okay, because you secretly love how overcome with lust he gets with you. but he really doesn't want to hurt you, so he tries to stay focused, but we know he just can't help himself…as soon as his eyes droop closed you know he's desperate again, burying his head in your neck as he practically growls into your skin. "fuck, [y/n], feel so good…"
it's not long before harry's pounding into you, waves of pleasure taking over his body. sweating, gasping for breath, hands digging into your hips as he warns you that he's about to cum. sometimes he's aware enough to pull out and finish on you, but other times he's truly so lost in the moment that he cums inside you, his hips flush with yours as you savor the sensation. though he's always a bit flustered afterwards, making sure to ask you plenty of times if you're okay, or if he hurt you, or if you need anything. once he knows you're good, he'll instantly start getting ready for round two because he just can't get enough of you.
[thankyouthankyouthankyou for sending this in, this is pretty much exactly what all of my daydreams of harry consist of lol]
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rivendell-poet ¡ 3 months ago
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May I request a SFW Alphabet for Legolas? Regardless, thank you for feeding us well <3
Of course you may! Thanks so much for the compliment, hopefully this helps feed the hunger as well <3 (And thank you so much for the request!)
*・༓˚✧❝𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭 - 𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐬❞‧͙⁺˚༓˚✧ « SFW Alphabet »
Wordcount : 2.7k (not including questions wordcount)
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Legolas is fairly affectionate, he loves you and very much wants you to be aware of that, but he doesn't show it in obvious ways. His main way is spending time with you, simply being next to you and listening - staring at you with a quiet focus mixed with adoration. He also does a lot of little gestures, like getting up ahead of time to order breakfast for the both of you because he knew you wanted something hot. Or not getting out of bed at all, and staying put for hours because he knows you've been having a rough few days and you seem to get less nightmares when in his arms.
Does also do traditional shows of affection like giving you gifts (either very extravagant or literally a flower he found that was pretty).
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Legolas doesn't have too many friends, so when he has you you're very dear to him. Very much becomes a ride or die for you - and is willing to do a lot of things for you. Slightly concerning at times. You'll mention something almost impossible as a joke and he'll get his plotting face on, and you have to reassure him that the plot to usurp Elrond is just a joke.
Very much wants you and Aragorn and Gimli to like each other (if you don't) but doesn't understand that he's supposed to socialise with the three of you once he's introduced you guys. Just stands in the corner and stares at you anxiously because he's scared you won't like each other. You and Aragorn coax him back into socialising.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Somewhat foreign concept to him, elves aren't big on physical touch, so he doesn't initiate at first - simply because he doesn't know what they are. Once he's learnt what they are he'll occasionally initiate cuddling, but generally just comes near you and you have to pull him over.
More enjoys just lying in you, honestly. Is very happy to simply lie next to you and snuggle closer, although the two of you debate if this is a 'proper' cuddle.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Settle down in the way that you'll always be together and know you both love each other until the end of the world? Because he wants to do that. In terms of having a home and living there forever? Legolas does want a home, but he sees 'home' as less of a specific house and more a general location - Mirkwood is home to him, and he doesn't feel the need to be more specific. He enjoys the aspect of wandering and doesn't want to be tied down (also knows you'll both go to Valinor eventually - so what's the point in building something here?) If you really want to settle down he will, and he's content as long as you let him go off on a small adventure every now and then.
Legolas is not incredible at the act of cleaning itself, but is nothing if not determined. He will clean up that stain using nothing but water and his own shirt, even if it takes too long. Cleans up if he wakes before you. Also, his very presence seems to repel dirt - so you've got that covered. He's decent at cooking, not incredible but works well with a lot of ingredients and it tastes good. Excelles in recepies that require patience, can stand there and stir whatever needs stiring for ages. (If he's bored he has been know to watch food cook, claims it's more interesting than you think.)
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Elves only fall in love once, so he truly doesn't want to do this. He will stick with you through thick and thin, would walk through fire for you. The only way I can see him ending it is if the relationship became abusive, because he would try to solve and problems the two of you have.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Again, his love for you is the one love he'll have in his life - he is very committed. Will be with you, and probably be committed to an unhealthy amount. To him, marriage isn't necessary but a show of commitment. He's always wanted to get married to you, but he wants to save proposal for that special moment. Also understands it's a much slower affair in human culture. (Bonus : His wedding outfit is a slightly more extravagant version of the outfit he wore at Aragorn's coronation.)
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) Legolas is very gentle physically, he's generally quite gentle but takes extra care with you. Is very relaxed around you, so a lot of the time when he hugs you or holds your hand it's with almost no force at all. Is very light, so enjoys being able to lay on you without crushing you. Emotionally he leans to gentle, but it's not a conscious choice as he's naturally very caring so doesn't want to upset you. Also sees no reason to not be himself around you, so doesn't try to tone himself down.
Knows he's not great with human emotions, so cares very deeply about learning them. Will sit down with you every now and then to check how you're doing, and if you're happy. Tries to learn your different faces and tells as well as what emotion goes with them. He does pretty well, as he is a very observant person. (Is secretly proud of himself for correctly identifying a lot of your moods.)
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Legolas is fine with hugs, but prefers a little warning. Doesn't like it if you hug him really tightly and pin his arms in your hug - it makes him feel trapped and vulnerable. Plus he can't hug you back. Is good with tight hugs if you let his arms free, although he can never master giving them quite tightly enough. Can never quite master hugs in general, to be honest. You can feel when he hugs you because it's always a very timid start. You have to teach him it's ok to hug you tighter as well, and he does get it eventually. Likes putting his head in the crook of your neck, regardless of your height dynamics.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Accidentally confesses it by calling you 'melleth nÎn' while he's complimenting you. You pick it up and question him about it, and he's just like 'yes?'. Of course you're the love of my life, I'm courting you. So of course I love you. Doesn't understand the big deal until you explain it to him. Is apologetic, but confirms he means it. (This is also how he realises that proposal is actually a big deal, and he should make sure to have it be romantic and at an appropriate time.) Will still use it very liberally however.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) More jealous if someone is having a lot of physical contact with you than if their flirting with you, simply because he views it as more intimate. Still, he isn't a very jealous person by nature as he's confident you love him - you're his one and only, so he's your one and only. If he does get jealous he simply inserts himself into the conversation and slowly becomes more and more obvious by dropping hints. (Will plead he doesn't understand human culture the first times he does it.) If it's in a setting where it allows, he sometimes does over-the-top tricks to show-off for you.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Enjoys gentle but long kisses, so that's the kind he tends to initiate. These are on the lips, and you can always tell he wants one because his eyes will slowly focus more and more on your lips before looking to your eyes, as if asking permission. Sometimes if he's feeling mischevious he'll sneak up on you and announce his presence with a soft, very light kiss to the neck. Always in the same slightly unusual but specific place so you know it's him. He enjoys the kisses he likes to give, although a good way to make him slow down and snap him out of him overthinking is a kiss on the cheek. He'll stop and gently put his fingers to it before smiling at you.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Is very good at impressing them with fancy tricks, is less good at actually interacting with them. He just hasn't seen many kids so they're a very new phenomenon to him that takes some time to figure out. You have had to stop him giving knives to small children so they can try and replicate his tricks. You know he won't actually let them come to harm, but you don't want him to give their parents a heart attack. Ocassionally, if a child has done something especially odd he stops and blinks at them, processing whatever they've done. This face never fails to make your laugh.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) As an elf, he needs to sleep a lot less than a human so gets up earlier than you almost all the time. If you're a heavy enough sleeper he'll often get out of bed a little before you wake up to freshen up the house, make you coffee/tea if you like that in the morning. If you've expressed preference for a particular food he might cook that. However, he almost always comes back to you before you wake up so you can wake up together. If you're a light sleeper he is more than happy to wake up and simply spend hours in your arms, very occassionally falls asleep in them so when you wake up you have a half-asleep elf cuddling you.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Often a bit more energetic than you, but enjoys simply sitting down and relaxing without the need to do anything. Will drag you out to look at the stars if they're pretty enough, although gets pretty good at guaging whether or not you'd want to that specific time. If you're a heavy sleeper he gladly goes to bed with you, if you're a light sleeper he joins you most nights but every now and then stays up a little later. Is very concious to be quiet so you aren't awoken.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Doesn't really occur to him to tell you a lot about himself. Will gladly talk if it comes up, and every now and then you have a few hours where you ask questions about him and he answers them. Even with things he struggles with he is very open, although more reserved and probably wouldn't say until a few months into dating. The times he talks about himself without prompting are usually stories he thinks you'd enjoy hearing - likes to do this while it's quiet and there isn't anything going on.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) He's waited thousands of years to fall in love, he's very patient with you. Happy to talk you through steps a third or even a sixth time without complaint, the instructions just as clear as the last time. The only things that really anger him are when you act recklessly, although that's born out of a fear of losing you rather than anything malicious. Will go over and talk to you instead of bottling up his anger, and is transparent about it.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) It depends on what the topic is. Some topics, like that specific boque you liked with these flowers that had a certain scent and the third rose wasn't in full bloom, he remembers very well. Also good with your armour and personal details. However details that are more 'human' or not very important to him he sometimes struggles to remember. Is still enthusiastic and engages when you share these things with him, however. He just doesn't always remember them as well. If he feels their slipping from memory he sometimes randomly asks you.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) He remembers your first day in Mirkwood, and how amazed you'd been by everything. His favourite part of the day was when he realised how bright the stars would look to you after you'd been in Mirkwood's night. The two of you had gone to the top of the trees together and stargazed in each other's arms as you tried to identify the constellations in such a different place. He loves it because it was the blending of the most important things in his life, and your willingness to love him even when he does stuff like this.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) He's grown up for a lot of his life surrounded by guards, so he understands the annoyance of having several people around you everyday. Which is why it's just him! But seriously, he sees the duty of being a guard as an honour - so does enjoy being near you and being prepared to protect you. However, he's good at going into combat so isn't as much 'on guard' as he is simply spending time with you, only a thought in the back of his mind of him doing this to keep you safe. He's most vulnerable when sleeping or trying to go to sleep, so very much appriciates you being there - even more so if you hold him.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Is very good simply because he has the time to do so, and the patience. He's going to be awake for a few hours without you, so why not use those hours doing something for you? Pretty original with this gifts and dates, as he has the means to get variety and the best of the best. Isn't a super craft-y person but you can tell he's really thought about you when he presents you with a gift he's brought. Legolas isn't the best at everyday tasks, although that's more because he had them done for him most of his life. He does try.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) He was a prince, so there are some aspects in which he's slightly spoiled. Although he could do a lot of basic tasks, and tasks that are needed in the wilderness, he does sometimes struggle with more basic things. He's also confident that he'll figure it out, so often doesn't tell you and just keeps struggling. Very occassionally forgets he needs to do things himself if he wants them done, so will leave something out and then be confused why it hasn't been fixed before remembering.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Quite concerned with his looks - he's an elf. A small part of him thinks elves are mainly known for their beauty, and if he doesn't keep it up you'll lose a lot of love for him/he won't be the elf you married. Cleaning and braiding his hair is often how he tries to regulate his emotions. If he's particularly stressed he'll spend a lot of time brushing and re-braiding his hair, sometimes to an obsessive amount.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Would not feel whole without you. When he fell in love with you, he gave you a piece of his heart forever - and that piece will always be with you, even if you break up. There's a piece of him missing when you finally pass away, and he'd much rather have Luthien's gift than be without you for all eternity.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) After Gimli introduces him to them, Legolas becomes enamoured by crystals. Collects lots of them, knows how they form and what they symbolise. Has a 'crystal of the week' which he puts on a special black velvet stand and admires it. His reasons for crystal of the week are very cryptic, and he doesn't seem to have particular likes. Will point out random crystals that 'remind him of you'.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) Needs someone who appriciates greenery. You don't have to go on hikes with him, or be gardening, but when he shows you something incredible he wants to see that look of wonder in your eyes. Especially when his whole life he's been trying to turn Mirkwood back into the beauty it is after Sauron's defeat, it's an important part of himself that represents healing to him.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Not a heavy or a light sleeper, although he seems aware of his surroundings - even in his sleep. Sometimes goes to bed later than you if you're a light sleeper as he doesn't sleep as long, and he doesn't want to wake you when he gets up. Will happily stay with you just before you wake up for early morning cuddles, however.
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A/N : Thanks so much for requesting again! And again, hope you enjoyed! Also, special thanks to you Xiao - both one of my first requesters, but also one of the first people who interacted with my works <3
thank you for reading *・༓˚✧wish to be tagged?
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thatlotuscookie ¡ 29 days ago
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hi👋 could i have something with dabi x reader when he's sick and his personality changes drastically. and all he wants is to be in bed, cuddle, make out, sleep and have reader play with his hair
✧・゚: a/n : hi riri!! i appreciate the request, thank youuu<3 this is adorable and honestly so like him. i just wrote something short and soft. let me know if you'd like something longer next time! :<
✧ Title: ✧ Fevered Affection ✧ ✧ Characters: Sick!Dabi x Reader (Gender Neutral) ✧ Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort ✧ Rating: T ✧ Summary: Dabi isn’t one to show weakness, but a nasty fever leaves him vulnerable and in desperate need of comfort. You’re there to care for him, and as his defenses drop, he reveals a softer side that he rarely lets anyone see. ✧ Content/Tags: Sickness, Vulnerability, Light Teasing, Soft Dabi, Sick!Dabi ✧ WC: 805 words // 4.5k chars
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Dabi wasn’t one to show weakness. Hell, he hated the idea of relying on anyone for anything. He had built up walls so high and thick that even a hurricane couldn't bring them down. But today, something much simpler than a storm had him practically bedridden—a nasty fever that turned the League’s usually sharp-tongued, brooding arsonist into a lethargic puddle of exhaustion.
You’d noticed it a few days ago. His usual snarky comments were less biting, his responses delayed. You chalked it up to a bad mood, but when you found him barely able to stand and refusing to get up from bed, you knew something was wrong.
“I’m fine,” he grumbled when you tried to help him sit up. His voice was raspy, and the usual fire in his eyes was dimmed. He wasn’t fine.
“No, you’re not,” you said softly, sitting beside him on the bed. “You’re burning up, Dabi.”
He didn't respond—just lay there, blinking slowly as if the world had slowed down with him. It was odd to see him so…vulnerable. But as his fever climbed higher, his usual gruff exterior melted away, leaving behind a Dabi you had never seen before—one that craved affection and comfort.
It started with the smallest of requests.
“Stay,” he mumbled, reaching for your hand with more desperation than you’d ever expect from him. “Just… don’t go anywhere.”
You stayed. And as the day wore on, it became clear he wasn’t interested in anything but being close to you. He barely moved, except to adjust himself so that his head rested in your lap, his face nuzzled into your stomach. His body, usually so stiff and guarded, had relaxed completely into your touch.
“Is this really Dabi?” you teased gently, running your fingers through his messy black hair. “The same guy who acts like he doesn’t need anyone?”
“Shut up,” he muttered, but there was no bite to it. Instead, he tilted his head slightly, leaning into your hand as you scratched at his scalp. “Feels good…”
The day slipped by in quiet moments—Dabi, wrapped in your arms, letting his fever-ridden body give in to its needs. He was clingy in a way that surprised you, his usual distance replaced by a hunger for comfort. He pulled you down into the bed with him at one point, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he curled his body around yours.
“You’re so warm,” he murmured, his voice muffled against your skin. “Never knew you could feel this good…”
You smiled softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his head. “You’re never like this when you’re healthy.”
“Maybe I should get sick more often,” he muttered, his lips brushing your neck in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. He pulled back slightly, his fever-bright eyes locking with yours. “Wanna kiss you…”
You blinked, caught off guard by the softness in his voice. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
He nodded, his hand gently gripping the back of your neck as he pulled you in for a slow, lazy kiss. It wasn’t like the usual kisses with Dabi—this one was sweet, almost needy, like he was asking for something more than just the physical connection. Like he wanted to lose himself in you, just for a moment.
When you pulled away, he sighed contentedly, leaning back into the pillows. His arms snaked around your waist, pulling you close again, his head resting on your chest this time.
“Don’t leave,” he mumbled, his breath warm against your skin. “Just wanna stay here… forever.”
You chuckled softly, running your fingers through his hair again. “I’m not going anywhere.”
And that’s how the rest of the night went—Dabi, sick and vulnerable, wrapped in your arms, content with nothing more than your touch and the quiet comfort of being together. His fever might have stolen his usual fire, but it brought out something softer in him, something you cherished in those quiet, stolen moments.
The next morning
By the time morning rolled around, Dabi’s fever had broken. You woke up to find him still in your arms, but this time his usual sharp gaze was back, though softened slightly by the remnants of last night’s vulnerability.
He stretched lazily, glancing up at you with a smirk. “So… how was playing nurse?”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide your smile. “You’re a terrible patient, you know.”
He chuckled, sitting up and running a hand through his now-messy hair. “Yeah, but you loved it.”
You shoved him playfully, but before you could say anything, Dabi’s hand caught yours, pulling you back down into his lap. His lips brushed against your temple, his voice low and almost… affectionate?
“Thanks for taking care of me, baby.”
Your heart swelled. Maybe being sick had its perks after all.
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blackdollette ¡ 7 months ago
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"tearing around in my fucking nightgown." | s. reid
hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have, but i have it. - lana del rey
⊹₊⋆ synopsis: you were hardly at fault. spencer had taken a late shift, and you needed to settle your nerves somehow...
fill out the taglist form! : @thirtyratsinasuit @auggiethecreator @oliviah-25 @sleepysongbirdsings @pleasantwitchgarden @emma-e-a @bellasprettywords
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female!reader x spencer
word count: 1.2k
contents: spencer takes the late shift at work, masturbation, cunnilingus (flashback), no proofread
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you had been tossing and turning in your disheveled bedsheets for minutes that seemed like hours.
your hair laid in a scruffy mess on your head, your silk nightgown clinging to your flesh in an awkward fashion. it was a few minutes past midnight, and because of spencer’s absence, you were beginning to lose your mind. you were somehow sweaty in the bedroom that was always just a touch too chilly, a sticky film coating your skin.
you rolled over once again with a groan, wishing that spencer hadn’t taken the night shift. you couldn’t see anything in the blackness of the bedroom, with the exception of the sparse streaks of moonlight that seeped in from the window and the monotonous flicker of the time that flickered on the small digital clock beside you, seeming to be mocking the same sensation that played in your mind.
you’d gotten so used to the feeling of spencer’s big arms cradling you to keep you warm during the night. you longed to feel his body pressing up against yours as he shifted and mumbled in response to whatever he was dreaming about.
you tossed in the sheets, stretching out your arm to grab your phone off the bedside table. honestly, you were surprised that you were able to keep yourself together for so long. you thought you were going to crack hours ago. you scrolled down your call list, landing on the name titled with a heart symbol. you clicked the call button and waited for the recipient to pick up.
the phone rang once, twice, and many more times until you went to voicemail. frustration began to coil in your gut as you tried to call back, each time resulting in the same outcome. you couldn’t begin to explain this pathetic feeling of hopelessness and desperation that had overtaken you. 
you mindlessly scrolled through your old messages with him, missing him more than anything. you sat up in the bed holding your knees to your chest as you reread your texts with him. a smile tugged at your lips each time he said something corny in response to something provocative that you said. 
you stumbled upon an image that he had sent you from his office. he had positioned the camera from a higher angle, capturing his leaned-back position and a sneaky hand that pulled the waistband of his trousers down just enough to give you a sneak peek of his boxer briefs. he had a cheeky little grin on his face, his fluffy hair falling in perfect tufts over his forehead. the picture seemed to be crafted by the gods, from the lighting to the slight surge of lust it filled you with. it was perfection.
you felt a familiar heat pooling in your core as the image filled your head. your breath hitched as hunger began to fill the empty void in your mind. a switch flipped inside of you quickly and your hand had already found its way to your lacy panties.
you were almost surprised at how needy you had gotten so quickly. you were practically clawing at the skimpy material of your nightgown. 
your mind was flickering with images of him and you on your most intimate nights. him having you lying on your back as he pumped two fingers in and out of you, his soft words as smooth and sweet as honey…
“y-yeah, right there, spence…” you whimpered out as his slightly calloused fingertips brushed against your cervix. “oh yeah..? well… how does this feel..?” he began to curl his fingers ever so slightly, making your breath hitch as he rubbed slow circles onto your puffy clit. you rolled your hips against his hand, eager to feel him in every part of you. the simple act brought a smile onto his face, letting him know that he was doing something right.
he pressed his fingers against your bladder, making your whole body jerk. startled, he chuckled. “how does that feel?” you tried to formulate audible speech, but he began to pick up the pace, taking pleasure in the way you drooled and stammered. your pussy mimicked the lewd noises of your lips, the sticky sounds of your cunt almost too good to be true. “yeah… listen to that, baby…”
your fluids of arousal dripped along his fingers, trailing down his veiny hands. the folds of your pussy fluttered around him, greedily swallowing his digits. you pressed your legs together as that unmistakable band began to tighten in your stomach, but he pushed your legs open, letting his hand rest on your inner thigh. “c’mon, baby. i’m not done with you yet…” 
you were falling apart, the rapid beating of your heart syncing with the way your cunt pulsated. a stupid little grin was plastered on spencer’s face the entire time. he loved the way he could make you go dumb for him, the way you turned into silly putty with a few pumps of his fingers. the inside of your sticky walls felt like velvety silk around his fingers. 
he couldn’t take his eyes off of your puffy lips and tear-glazed eyes. to him, there was no greater pleasure than making you feel on top of the world. 
you bit your lip hard, the iron tang of blood filling your mouth as he connected his lips to your cunt just as your orgasm was on the way. he flicked his tongue on your swollen pearl, mumbling mindless praises into your core. 
your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he found the perfect rhythm between his tongue and fingers. he grabbed a handful of his hair, grinding your hips against his face. he groaned deeply into your body. “t-that’s it, honey… use me…” you shuddered each time he swirled his wet tongue across your folds.
the weaker you became, the faster he went. the room filled with the hungry sounds of the base of his hand slapping against the entrance of your hole as he fingered you at lightning speed. his chest heaved up and down, your overstimulated moans becoming louder. “o-oh my gosh, spence… i-i… i can’t take anymore..!”
his mouth was already filling with the delicious taste of your cum, but he wanted to maximize your orgasm to its fullest. he dug into you, wrapping his arms around your thighs as he buried his face into your body, not even taking a second to breathe. his tongue hungrily ran up and down your slit, making the band in your stomach snap. “s-spencer, i’m cumming..!”
~
you snapped back to reality from the feeling of your body convulsing around your fingers. you panted rapidly, looking down and seeing the wet, sticky mess that you created all over the bedsheets. beads of sweat rolled down your forehead as you looked around the room as if you had just woken up from a nap.
your eyes landed on the clock, reading the time. 12:48am. you sighed deeply. you hadn’t meant to get lost in the overwhelming feeling, but you just couldn’t resist it. it had almost felt as if spencer was actually there. but something good had come out of it.
you found your eyelids getting heavy with exhaustion as you slipped back under the covers, pulling the blanket over your warm body and setting your head onto your pillow. you looked at spencer’s side of the bed, taking in his absence. lifting up your head, you switched your pillow with his, setting your head back down and inhaling the heart-warming scent of him, finally being blessed with the gift of sound slumber.
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author's note: i'm sick :((
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lawchwan ¡ 8 months ago
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love alphabet (sanji)
summary: just another alphabet for our favorite perverted romantic chef
disclaimer: there are some spoilers of skypiea and Whole Cake Island in some alphabets so be warn with that. and obviously some alphabets have nsfw content. Also some alphabets have fem terms, which was not my intention, i’ll edit them once i have the free time.
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crossposted on ao3
A = Affection (PDA, what sort of affection they give)
You are talking to the king of PDA. If you’re someone who cannot handle pda, then you need to start handling it with Sanji. He loves to be hands-on with you, literally, declaring to the entire world how much you mean to him. This man just outright loves you, and he’s not shy of showcasing it.
Bonus: he loves to be extra in front of Zoro, just to rub it in his face, only to get a groan and an eye roll of disgust from him (and the entire straw hats really, even Luffy couldn’t stand it)
B = Babies (Anything you want about babies)
“Oh, you want babies? Say less, ma’am, I’ll throw all the condoms and contraceptives away. When and where and I’ll give it to you” he says, with heart eyes and nosebleed as you mentioned in passing about babies.
In all seriousness, Sanji does have a soft spot for kids. He is a very gentle man and often really caring towards kids. If you remember at the end of enies lobby, the way he handled Chimney with such care after her exclaiming about how hungry she is how I imagined he’d be with his own kid, and maybe even extra doting and caring. Also chopper and Sanji’s interaction during skypiea… I don’t think I need to add more… (Although Chopper is 17 years old/was 15 during skypiea, it still applies)
C = Cuddles (How they cuddle or are cuddled)
Oh that man loves to cuddle. He may not be the most fleshy, he does however have the warmth that can counteract as a blanket and that’s enough of you. He, like law in my previous love alphabet, loves to be the small spoon, except he is more open about and doesn’t care about one says about it.
D = Darling  (Pet names) 
He’ll throw in any affectionate nicknames that he could think of at the top of his head and will say it with no shame. But I do think he’s the type to say “darling,” “my love,” “my sweet,” and “angel.”
He also has more pet names/nicknames in the bedroom and calls you goddess/god and mommy/daddy. He one time slipped up and called you mommy/daddy in front of Zoro, and Zoro mocked him for all eternity until you confronted him… : )
E = Enamored (how hard do they fall when in love)
It's Sanji we’re talking about… this man will lay his eyes on any woman and he’ll fall head over heels. But when it comes to you, there’s a slightly subtle change. While he still maintains his chivalry and flirtatious act, he does put in extra effort with you. If he makes Nami and Robin a parfait, then you’ll get extra toppings and flavors of your liking. Honestly, their food—still being better than how he would serve his male crew—would start looking underwhelming next to yours, but it's not that they’re complaining. Matter of fact, they, mainly Nami, thank you for having reciprocal feelings since Sanji hasn’t been going at either woman.   
F = Firsts (A first on anything you pick)
The first time Sanji cooked for you was special. You were sitting in the kitchen, alone with him, as you happened to catch a case of “midnight hunger,” and there he was, a handsome cook cleaning the dishes as he hums to himself. When you made your presence known, the blond man turned with his usual charismatic smile and turned the sink before doing so.
“hey, (y/n) darling, what are you doing here?”
He seemed genuinely to be ecstatic to see you in the kitchen, even though it was god-awful late at night, he didn’t seem bothered for some reason. You were about to mention how hungry you were, until the grumble of your stomach spoke for you, only for you to look away, flustered. Sanji simply chuckled as he stated sweetly, “I guess I know why…”
And there you were, as much as you didn’t want to wear him out, he was very insistent and ended up cooking up something upon your request. You just sat there, ogling at the cook as he worked his magic. You stare at his hands, veins popping up handsomely due to the force he is exerting, whether through cutting vegetables or holding onto the sizzling pan, as you place your head onto your hand. You didn’t say much to not distract him, but, man oh man, was he attractive just cooking for you.
“oh, how I wish those hands were on me…” you thought to yourself as you began analyzing his physique with your eyes wandering from his blond locks to his tiny yet built waist, down to his thick ass. Your head was heading to perverted places where you might need a quick shower afterward.
He seemed to have noticed that you were staring at him, so as he finished with his finishing touch, he began declaring, “Voila!”  as he handed you the dish. You were brought back to reality after he spoke up, and you looked down at your dish.
“Oh, wow does that look good,” you say, softly yet excitedly. He just shrugged and hummed with a confident smile before handing your utensils. As you had your first bite, you closed your eyes as you moaned in glee; you truly never doubted him when it came to food because that was perhaps the most delicious dish you ever had. He simply just looked at you admirably, as he mimicked your look towards him when you saw him cook, even down to the head-on-chin position.
Once you were done, you sighed and let out a phew due to your fullness. “How’d you like it?” Sanji spoke up with a smile as he took your plate.
“That was amazing, Sanji… Thank you so much,” You say with gratitude as you hold his face with one hand, and he leaned against it. He mirrored you, only this time he leaned in before he wiped the corner of your lips the remaining sauce while he maintained eye contact.
“Missed a spot,” he whispered to you before licking his finger, winking, and taking the plate to the sink. He then had his back to you with a smirk while you looked at him in awe.
God, does this man drive you crazy…
G = Good Morning (How do they wake you up)
You best believe that you’ll be getting your morning kisses daily from him. If he wakes up before you, he’ll just lift himself and stare at you with love sparkle all over his blue eyes, he’ll probably even run his fingernail against your skin before kissing you awake. He’ll paint that beautiful smile as he says with his gentle morning voice, “Good morning, sunshine.”
That’s on his lazy days though, other days, however, he might just wake you up with breakfast in bed. He’ll set aside the tray before he gently shakes you until you wake up and informs you that he made you breakfast.
He is such a romantic, it warms one’s cold heart.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs?)
His hugs are so warm… I don’t know what else to add. He just adds a layer of comfort to him, just like his cuddles.
I = In Labor (Labour and Delivery)
He’s an absolute mess and honestly, you might have considered kicking him out during delivery. It’s not that he’s a dick about it or whatever—matter of fact, poor dude’s just trying to help—, but he’s acting like he’s the one giving birth due to his nervousness and is making you feel worse about the situation. If he wasn’t your love and/or the father of your child, you’d have kicked him out and had Zoro or Robin fill the role for support (you’ve thought of Nami as well, but she’d probably be squeamish and leave the room).
And once that child’s out, he’ll probably cry at the sight of your beautiful creation and kiss you on the top of your head while he praises you and compliments the beautiful bundle of joy.
“You did it… You’re so amazing,”
J = Jealousy (Are they jealous? How do they handle it?)
And the winner of the most hypocritical individual award goes to; Blackleg Sanji. You might have to beat him for it, because how the fuck is he allowed to flirt with other women, yet he beats men whom you’ve given the same energy?
All jokes aside, this man will probably glare at the person who’s attempting to get closer to you. He’ll probably start causing chaos if anyone were to lay a hand on his partner and he doesn’t care, he’ll stop when the one who gets the beat down promises he won’t look at you again.
K = Kisses (How do they kiss? How often?)
You finally understood the addiction to nicotine when you first pressed your lips against his. No matter a peck or a full-on passionate, his lips were simply addicting and you just crave them every time you look at him. He places a cigarette on his lips, and you envy the tip of the cigarette for it is covered by his lips when it should be your skin that is covered by his lips.
He kisses you very often, maybe a little bit too often, disgustingly often. But he’ll tone it down if you ask, and he’ll give you kisses throughout the day, he can never leave a day with no kisses for you.
L = Loyal (How loyal are they?)
Contrary to popular belief—and the jokes I’ve been making earlier—, Sanji’s pretty loyal. Sure, he may flirt with multiple women, which is a bad habit, but he never thought of sleeping with them now that he’s with you. He mainly claims it as just acts of chivalry, but truly he never intends on coming off as overtly flirtatious nor does he have any intentions of cheating on you, and he will always find a way to prove it.
M = Memory (Their favourite memory about you?)
The first time you declared your love for him. Underneath that charismatic aura, Sanji’s a broken man who believes that love is not by his side. Sure, he is aware that he has platonic, or rather familial love from the straw hat crew, Zeff, and the workers at Baratie, but he never would have thought that he’d find genuine romantic love and he was on his journey of accepting that.
Until you came along and ruined it, and Sanji couldn’t have been more grateful that you did. When you two happened to be kissing each other after an intimate session, you held him and uttered those three words, only for him to be gasping and widen his eyes in astonishment.
“What?”
You looked at him with a loving smile and holding onto his delicate face, “I love you, Sanji…”
You made Sanji’s heart flutter as he looked at you with glossy eyes and he laid on your chest and you began stroking his locks. You didn’t want him to respond if he didn’t want to, you simply just wanted to let him know, only for you to hear a whisper,
“I love you too…”
N = Never! (Dealbreakers)
Never mention his biological father, and don’t you ever try to reunite them. Sanji considers Zeff as his real dad, he taught and treated him like a father would to his son, so if you’d reunite them, he’d be over the moon. Reunite him with Judge and Sanji will feel betrayed that you would put him in a room with his abuser.
No amount of “but you guys are family” will cut it.
O = On the Rocks (How do they make up?)
Sanji’s the type to apologize through meals. He’ll obviously talk to you, but no matter how mad he is/you are, he’ll not leave you hungry. You two will start apologizing to each other and admit your mistakes. The one thing you love about Sanji is that he respects you too much for you to be upset, even if you’re in the wrong.
So you’ll simply just talk it out and kiss afterward… which may lead to more action if you get my drift.
P = Playtime (Any headcanons on sex)
Sanji loves to call you goddess/god, no matter if he’s domming or subbing. He just loves the thought of worshipping you and gliding his tongue all over his skin.
He also enjoys giving you oral or fingering you, doesn’t matter where you guys are, he’ll always find a way to have a taste of you, claiming “It’s the best flavor I’ve ever tried.”
Q = Quiet Time (How do they wind down?)
The perfect wind-down for Sanji is simply cuddling in bed or cooking alone with you. Sure, it may seem very cliché, but Sanji’s a cliché man and he knows it, especially when you call him out on it, but he doesn’t care.
What better way to spend some quiet time than when you have your partner with you, am I right?
R = Rapture (What makes them happy?)
When you value him and remind him how loved and important he is. Given his childhood, it is easy for him to slip through the mindset of self-loathing and ending himself, which resulted in his sacrificial personality. While you were never a cure for it, you did help him ease through those tough times, and he grew to appreciate you for your effort and how you don’t perceive the way others do.
Your overall love and appreciation for him means so much to him, thus resulting in making him happy.
S = Soulmate (What do they think of soulmates?)
Oh, he hands down believes in soulmates. First off, he’s a Pisces, and every Pisces I’ve met believes in soulmates. Secondly, he is a romantic at heart, soul, and body so he believes that there’s someone out there that will complete his soul.
T = Together (What do you like to do together?)
Cooking, of course, and also shopping. This man will go broke for you and he’ll be happy to go into debt for you, as long as you are happy and content, please, by all means, make his pockets hurt (but you won't because you love him too much to ever go through that).
U = Unyielding (How do they handle interlopers on the relationship?)
Sanji will karate kick them on their way out. “How dare you to try to meddle in OUR perfect. Beautiful, loving relationship?! Who gave you the absolute right to try and take my sweet partner away?! I’ll beat you to a pulp!” Sanji would exclaim as he proceeded to ambush the person who tried to interlope.
V = Vulnerable (Are they vulnerable often? How do they handle it?)
Sanji would not be as vulnerable as you’d think when you first met. Sure, he’s very emotional in tune and can hold you days on end when you just want to cry out about whatever’s bothering you, past or present.
Just like Law, once he gains trust, that’s when the floodgates are open and he starts becoming vulnerable and talking about his trauma. Please hug him and promise you won’t throw him under the bus with all of that, he needs emotional support and love.
W = Wedding (Wedding headcanons)
He’ll make sure he’ll make your wedding a day you won’t ever forget. I imagine your guys’ wedding being extravagant yet still intimate, inviting only the straw hat crew—yes including Zoro—, Vivi, Zeff, and most of his workers of Baratie from his end. He made sure you had some cake testing before the wedding and was mostly in charge of the catering, despite it being his wedding day.
Despite you were the bride, Sanji was more of a bridezilla than you were, and you had your fair share of freak outs, but not to the extend of Sanji’s to which you had to calm him down. Eventually, however, everything was settled—thanks to you and the rest of the straw hat—and you had a beautiful wedding by the beach.
(idk he seems like someone who would want a beach wedding.)
X = (E)x (How do they handle exes? What do they do if they see them)
He’d act the same with interlopers when it comes to your ex, especially if that ex had done unimaginable heinous things to you.
Meanwhile, his exes might have to run away because otherwise, he’ll start acting “too friendly,” and may slip up a few details about their previous relationship, which results in you being insecure.
He eventually apologizes, genuinely avoids his ex, and never interacts with them.
Y = Yearning (What do they do when they miss you?)
Another pillow sniffer and clothes (panties) stealer. Yup, that’s it, nothing else to add there. Just read my law’s one and just switch law with Sanji and you’ll get the same effect.
While he’s always snatching your pillows and clothes when you’re away, whenever he’s in the kitchen, he’ll even cook your favorite food to remind him of you. Even though he cooked it himself, he can’t help but be reminded of you and your sparkling eyes of joy when you see him cook your favorite meal.
NSFW
 He loves your enthusiasm so damn much, and God does he crave to see it again, especially when you have that similar sparkle when he undresses in front of you and showcases his pink-tipped cock to you.
Where were those panties when he needed them?
Z = Zzz… (Sleeping headcanons)
He loves it when you guys are in spooning positions. While he prefers being the small spoon, he loves to wrap himself around you with your chest on his. The feeling of you being snug beside him makes him feel like he can protect you and there’s no better feeling than that.
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characters are owned by oda. i will not tolerate nor accept translation, reposts on other websites, or plagiarism. divider made by mmadeinheavenn.
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har-rison-s ¡ 1 year ago
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fear or endearment | coryo snow x fem!reader
a/n: hello people of tumblr. yes, i'm getting on the train of writing for coryolanus snow (save me). he's just so writeable before the 10th games, i feel. after that i lose any touch with him, honestly, idk. bad man. welp! enjoy this little short blurb i thought of while i was at work yesterday (no connection, tho, just day dreaming). happy reading &lt;3
warnings: none except snow's manipulative, calculating personality; this is pre-10th games snow btw
word count: 1,894
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gif credit goes to owner &lt;3
“you only like me because i bring you free stuff,” she says, her lips wearing a smile that holds the sadness of the half-joke she just made. it’s only an ironic way of saying the truth, and she thinks him a fool not to admit it. her hands get busy with carefully emptying the messenger bag full of food leftovers and pastries that the kitchen in her house deemed as unworthy for her family.
“not true,” coryolanus says with a gentle shake of his too-perfect head, eyes looking at her instead of raking over the gifts she’s brought. they’ll keep him and his family away from hunger for a week at least, if they plan carefully, “i like you regardless of that.”
she shakes her head with more conviction. it’s one thing to lie to himself about it, it’s another to tell the lie to her face. her face that has seen the brutal truth in people, her eyes that can see through any facade. it’s the reason she doesn’t watch television unless she absolutely necessarily has to – the facade built up around the ugly truth makes her sick to her stomach. “oh, yes, and my dream is to become a peacekeeper.” her sharp tongue responds.
coryolanus considers her words and the sarcastic look on her face, the faint grin she wears. he doesn’t like being confused, and yet she makes him feel that way very often. sarcasm is her companion in every conversation, and coryolanus suspects he might be one of the only people in the world she shows her bare soul and heart to, and even then she shows very little. her rebellious nature, though, is what makes him worried for her. sometimes he thinks he ought to follow her in her ways, even though it wouldn’t be easy. it would also be going against everything he’s fought so hard to have, and would continue to fight for.
coryolanus shakes his head in confusion, his cheeks blushing just the faintest tone of pink and curls trembling along with his head movements. she laughs fruitfully at knowing she made him confused, her head hanging back for a moment. she closes her bag, its contents emptied on coryo’s kitchen table, and looks down on them. “i know you wonder why i say things like that,” she looks up at him again, and coryo nods, his lips bit back in a faint smile, “can’t help it. must be some security mechanism in me, to joke or draw irony in serious matters.” she shuffles herself onto the table’s surface, now getting the view of coryo in front of her instead of having to wring her neck around every time to just look at him standing beside her. coryo nods again and smiles wider. “sometimes i want to shut up, but i just can’t seem to. and that tends to get me in trouble quite a lot. you know that well.” 
ah, yes, her rebellious nature that gets in the way of her education and reputation up-keeping. he might just be her only friend at school, because no one wants to associate themselves with such a rebellious girl as her. sejanus has been nice to her, but coryo guesses he lacks the courage to talk to her. coryo makes a grin and takes a step closer to her. her genuine eyes find his again and she searches them for some bit of truth. it’s hard for most people to guess what he’s thinking, but not for her. “i like you for that,” coryolanus tells her, and she furrows her eyebrows because by looking into is eyes she knows it’s the truth that he’s telling.
“hmm,” she just hums in surprise, “i know it upsets you, too. and that you worry about me, and that’s why you get me out of trouble, even if you don’t have to. you and your perfect attendance and grades, perfect attitude.” she counts off, and it almost sounds like she despises him for all these things. coryo shakes his head, eyelids fluttering while looking at her still.
“you of all people know how imperfect i am,” he says, “look where i have to live,” he gestures around the kitchen. but her smile drops, “it’s almost nothing compared to your place.” 
“where we live doesn’t say much about us,” she responds, “so many people at school think i’m this spoiled princess of the capitol living in my great mansion with mother and father.” she rolls her eyes. “only thing perfect about me are my grades, and even they are being pulled down because of my attitude.” she sighs. coryo nods, understanding, and stays close to her. “i’m really a rebellious child whose parents hardly have patience for. it’s not like i try to get into trouble, it just so happens that my opinions don’t go well with everyone else’s. i know i’m not the only one, but i might be the only one with guts to say those opinions.” she shrugs. “you know that associating with me can get you into trouble, too.”
coryo nods. “but it hasn’t this far,” he responds with a kind smile as the two of them look at each other. she wishes she could respond with a smile half as true as his current one, but her character has been beaten down. her eyelids flutter and she looks down at her hands. 
“why do you get me out of trouble, then? why do you worry about me?” she asks quietly. “we both know you shouldn’t.” 
“you don’t believe me when i say it,” coryo says, reminding her of the beginning of their conversation. she looks up at him again, chin raised. he’s wounded by her disbelief. 
“what?” she asks in half a whisper. coryo tilts his head, his facial expression saying that his answer should be obvious. his hand hesitantly reaches out to hers in her lap, gently coating her intertwined palms. she’s almost forgot how to breathe. he’s never touched her hands before. it’s always a hand at the small of her back, on her shoulder, arms around her. never the hands. it almost seems like he was saving them for... something.
“i like you,” coryo says just as quietly, hand over hers and eyes looking at her, this intense emotion suddenly between them in the air, “not just for the free stuff. it’s the depth of your heart and kindness,” one i know i’ll never have, “and your courageous nature.”
she smiles. “you have courage, too, coryo,” she tells him quietly, and finds herself lost in him now that he’s so close to her. his ice-cold heart warms at her using the nickname for him. she intertwines their fingers now, raising the formed knot higher between them, so that it would enter their line of vision. coryo looks at it, and his heart lurches in his chest, making him feel nearly on the point of fainting, “you do,” she says again, “you just need to... channel it in the right direction.” she utters in a the quietest of whispers. 
coryolanus doesn’t dare a make a noise even though his throat is dry and he needs to clear it, but he fears anything louder than a whisper might ruin everything, even his heart feels like it’s hammering too loud in his chest, “like this?” he asks in a faint voice, and she furrows her eyebrows at the weird question, but doesn’t get to doubt it because coryo is pressing his lips to hers, adding even more value to their moment together. 
for a person who is always able to calculate things to come, she is surprised because this she didn’t calculate at any point. but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t waited for him to do this, to take a next step, for at least a few weeks now. her courage faded away any chance she had to do the same, to be the one who takes the first step. 
she grips his hand between them even harder, and her other hand goes to cradle the side of his face, but after the first few kisses their hands untie and she uses both of hers to hold his face, while coryo is too shy to touch her. she pulls away, both of them out of breath, and they look at each other. stunned. thrilled. without words to say about what they just did. 
“yeah, like that,” she finally breathes in response, always having something cheeky up her sleeve, “only...” she takes both of his hands in hers and places them on her waist, where they fit nearly like a magnet. coryo breathes a quiet sigh of relief, it was where he thought of embracing her, but somehow lacked the guts to do so. looking at each other, she nods at him and coryo makes a small smile. “i know you like me now,” she says quietly, and coryo even chuckles, “you wouldn’t be so nervous about me otherwise.” 
he nods, succumbing to the defeat of her cracking him, and stands between her legs that dangle off the side of the table. his hands on her fit right in place, both of them feeling that they’re always meant to be there. “sometimes, uh...” coryo shakes his head, a little nervous to say what he wants to, but she urges him on with her hand on his cheek serving a comforting touch, and he blushes when he looks at her, “sometimes i don’t know if i like you or i’m scared of you.” he admits.
it makes her laugh out loud, as if it was the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard someone say. her head hangs low, and then rests against his chest once her laughter has started to subside. coryo feels embarrassed that he admitted that now, but he wraps his arms around her nonetheless. he knows she means no harm. 
she looks up at him, hands on his chest, and gets real close to his face again, “you better figure it out real soon, coryo,” she tells him, “i don’t want to be with someone who’s scared of me. i want them to be with me because they like me.” she says truthfully and coryo nods. he’s never really been around a girl or woman who’s made him feel like she has. it’s hard to explain, but her rebellious nature, her unpredictability are what scare him, but also what endear her to him. make him like her so much. makes his heart jump out of his chest when she speaks against a professor or simply flees a classroom. 
“i like you,” coryo assures her, “and i’m glad you want to be with me, too.” he says and they smile at each other. she nods at him and leans into his chest into a long embrace neither of them really want to get out of. 
coryolanus is scared of the consequences of her actions, scared for where it will make him end up. but life with her has colour. he doesn’t exactly want to give that up because he might get in trouble. he finds a way out of it with his wit and charm, anyhow. whatever problems she could get him into by being herself he can easily get out of, so maybe taking risks isn’t that deadly of a thing. not for her.
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part 2
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sevenop ¡ 21 days ago
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Billie Eilish x Fem!reader: Connected
A/n: Billie is your under-bed demon that plagues you with nightmares every night to feed his hunger. She has no shame or any boundaries of decency, but she is the one who comes to your rescue when the world around you begins to fall apart, rumbling. When no one seems to notice you, content with your outward calm while inside everything is crumbling infernally.
Warning: suicidal thoughts, heavy atmosphere.
Inspired by "bury a friend."
Happy Halloween, dudes. Even though I'm late! xd 🦇
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You come home as badly as you always do: you pile into the hallway so loudly that Eilish can hear everything perfectly well even in her sub-bed kingdom behind your closed bedroom door. You walk in as usual, but she senses that something is wrong. And no, it's not just the demonic flair for your emotions and thoughts, which for her resemble today especially viscous ink, splashing through the edge of sanity with their bituminous blackness in your skull. You jingle your keys, tossing them on the nightstand carelessly instead of putting them down neatly, walking twenty steps instead of the usual six, as if confused in a familiar space, you not shouting a greeting to her from the doorstep, disturbing her peace. You are different. And she notices it. In every possible detail.
Seven more extra steps and you confirm her hunch absolutely undeniably: you walk into your own bedroom quietly, toss your bag of university notebooks into the corner (it almost whistles like a bullet, slicing through the air and slamming onto the floor, spilling pens out of its ÂŤmouthÂť, notebooks, phone and other stuff), and on top of that you press your back against the newly closed door and slide down it so bruised and tired that even Billie feels sorry for you for a quarter of a second. And to pity the dream demon that devours people's nightmares every night, it really takes a lot of effort.
"Someone in a good mood tonight?" Eilish snorts her usual sarcasm, hiding beneath the darkness of your bed and even beyond that, the dark haze of dusk beginning to fall outside from your window, and you don't even throw her the usual and ungracious "shut up!". You cover your face with your trembling hands, resting your head against them with a ragged exhale, and you don't drop a word. Now this is where Billie tenses up. What a day rich in phenomena. "My dear little human, what's the matter with you?"
"What do you want from me?" It's as if your voice mirrors the amplitude of your palms: also trembling, only barely more noticeable. You hesitate for a second, and then complement, mentally tentatively 'jogging' the numbers on the dial. It's almost ten o'clock. Usually, at this time, Eilish is already delicately annoying your elderly neighbors from the apartment across the hall with their early bedtime routine and feasting on their nightmares. "Why don't you run from me?.."
"What are you wondering?" She says, not even paying attention to your questions. It's not that she doesn't care, but... Just a 'but'. Demons don't need to answer to anyone, it's not in their nature. "I can feel the weight of your thoughts even from here, and it's rather... unaccustomed."
"What do you know...?" You whisper hoarsely, warily looking into the impenetrable darkness beneath the bed through your fingers. Honestly, Eilish is flattered that you're at least giving her a bit of your gaze right now. She's attention-hungry, but for some reason she's not taking offense today. Everything's going to hell today. Intriguing.
The bed creaks a little as she clings with her pale, cold alabaster hands from the darkness of the under-bed to the white blanket crawling to the floor, the soft mattress, and the sturdy wooden kingpins. A moment, and you see her face in all its glory: with neat and mesmerizing features, framed by untangled (she repeatedly steals your combs), long teal strands of hair, which makes her demonic eyes, shrouded in an impenetrable white veil, stand out especially strong and contrasting. She's in no hurry to come out in one piece, but she's not hiding either. It's like she's probing something, waiting.
"Your talk'll be somethin' that shouldn't be said out loud." She summarizes coolly, staring at you piercingly with her white solid sclerae. Your mind is her filing cabinet, she knows she can read you from and through with unobtrusive ease, but stays clear of the impromptu "allowed" boundary you've marked out to her many times, as many times experiencing collapse. Has the mighty demon of dreams just today suddenly started to take your rights into account? Or is it just more interesting? To play, to pry sounds, letters out of you..?
You bang your head lightly against the door, lean the back of your head against the cool varnish of the same sickly white-colored wood, and shift your gaze from her to the serene and at the same time pressing down on you ceiling, and exhale so heavily, as if you wanted to squeeze the soul out of your entrails. Ungodly hard, ungodly painful... Words sinfully and so fucking stuck in your throat, as if a swallowed blade were tearing and slicing your windpipe lengthwise, only upwards instead of downwards. You want to say something, but you can't. Fuck.
Billie rustles again in the back of your mental filing cabinet, drowning in black ink, and having dug something up, she comes out of her world of darkness and horror in one piece: a slight rustle of fabric, an even lighter creak, and she stands swaying in front of you in her white, shapeless and huge clothes, looking like a ghost. Short, but so powerful, able to make a mess of the whole neighborhood, if not the nearest three at once, with just a puppy of her fingers. Eilish is like a pendulum, attracting already scattered attention with sound and glitter: a dozen silver chains and pendants around her neck, steel rings on her fingers, and several thin bracelets on her wrists with flashing crosses and other figures. It all tinkles and clinks pleasantly as she moves, glistening, hypnotizing, giving off a slight chill... Beautiful. Insanely beautiful.
"Come here." Her velvet voice rustles pleasantly, drowning out the rustle of her paranormal white clothes as she invitingly opens her arms for a hug. And you swear that five more seconds and you'll be ready to burst into tears. And you don't deny yourself that. Because it's not every day that a nightmare demon expresses a desire to embrace you, inviting you into her bonds of arms, because you realize that you can no longer. Because aspidically, to the point of anger at everyone and everything on your soul is painful and lousy. That's why you spring springily, puppet-like, and push your palms away from the door, which resembles a tombstone today rather than a beautiful piece of embossed wood on hinges. That's why you bump your nose somewhere on her neck, the very tip running along the thin, smooth skin. That's why you cling to her as if your carcass is weighing over a sharp-edged cliff and about to plummet downward. Hypothetically, it is. You've fallen off the edge of your thoughts. And there's no way she's going to say she likes feeling you so close to her. You're such a contrast: warm, weak, broken... She won't say any of those things, but she will hug you so gently and tenderly that every demon who has ever lived and still exists today would condemn her for it. Well, if them dared.
"Say it, spit it out," she settles gently with you on the soft pile of the blue carpet without unclasping the ring of her hands, "what is it exactly?"
"Today, I'm thinkin' about the things that are deadly." Your voice is muffled by the soft fabric of her t-shirt, as if someone had put a silencer on the gun's rumbling single-shot silencer beforehand. The words rhyme so amusingly and effortlessly with Eilish's line that you want to giggle for a second. Billie tenses up like a string: she has long suspected such a thing from the chains of your thoughts she read, but it's still unexpected to hear you say it head-on. You're a smiling perpetual doofus, aren't you? Her favorite smiling perpetual doofus. She can't keep quiet anymore.
"The way I'm drinkin' you down," she reads your unspoken thought of your own irrelevance, which dangles in the inky-black sea of your depressive thoughts like a bright and teasing float. Grab it, and it will drag you like a multi-ton anchor to the very bottom. Not the top. "Like I wanna drown, like I wanna end me."
You frown softly, sniffing your nose. Understanding demonic confusing aphorisms is still difficult. Billie laughs velvetly and clarifies, and her dark, docile shadows wrap around you in an affectionate haze, stroking your shoulders and arms with her, tickling your neck as she places her palms masterfully on your shoulder blades, as if hiding your scarred but incredibly strong angel wings from everyone: "In the language of demons, it means that you are very important to someone. You are very important to me, Y/n."
"Say..." You snuggle closer to her, though it feels like there's nowhere closer to go. Gently open your fragile hoop of arms behind her back, hugging back. Billie shakes quietly, like a piece of paper in the wind. "When we all fall asleep, where do we go?"
"Careful." She whispers softly as one of her nimble shadows gently lifts your chin, forcing you to look directly at her. You see the blue, cool irises of her eyes for the first time, not the bottomless white sclerae, but exactly the ocean irises. Similar to human... The spirit is so breathtaking that you involuntarily open your lips on an exhalation, and she takes advantage of this momentarily: she kisses you softly, even if she accidentally, absolutely unintentionally bites your lower lip a little. She can't be contained, she wants to. And it's not only about kiss: she wants to protect you and show you exactly how important you are to her, so that you clearly understand everything. And you do.
You are a little person, who say that silly, uneven to her endless longing and ungodly expensive in human realities "I love you" and she's had enough. She is a powerful dream demon, whispering quietly that she will sleep with you in her arms tonight so she can chase away your bad dreams and inky thoughts. And you've had enough.
86 notes ¡ View notes
libingan ¡ 4 months ago
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— wolf’s den. (final chapter.)
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summary: after finding yourself lost in the forest, you accidentally stumble across a wolf’s den. unfortunately for you, his intentions are dark and possessive—he's chosen you to be his mate, dragging you into a nightmarish world where escape seems impossible.
cw: kidnapping, dark content, noncon, power imbalance, possessiveness, violence, cannibalism, death, wolf hybrid! ghost x bunny hybrid! reader
here it folks, the final chapter! it’s done, it’s over! thank u guys for eating this shit up but honestly i feel like this was one of my… idk? i dont want to say bad, but it’s definitely not my best lolz
writing dark content isnt my forte lmao this is actually my first time writing something this gorey HAHSHWSHW
part 4 | the aftermath
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the oppressive nature of simon’s control became a constant, unrelenting force as your pregnancy progressed. his obsession with ensuring your safety transformed into a tyrannical dominance over every aspect of your life. the freedom you once had was now a distant memory, replaced by a suffocating confinement that left you feeling more like a prisoner than a partner — which you always were.
the heavy metal collar around your neck was a constant reminder of your restricted autonomy. chained to the bedpost, you were confined to a small area, barely able to reach the meager portions of food simon allowed you. the food was meticulously rationed—just enough to keep you alive but never enough to fully satisfy your hunger. this arrangement made you feel like an object rather than a person.
simon’s visits were marked by his cold efficiency. he would come into the room with an air of detached concern. “you know the rules,” he’d say with a chilling calmness as he checked the small amount of food left for you. “you’re only to eat what i’ve provided. it’s for your safety and the baby’s.”
“this isn’t living, simon!” you would protest, your voice tinged with frustration. “it’s a prison! i need more space, more freedom.”
“this is for your own good,” simon would respond with a steely edge. “you don’t understand the risks involved. i can’t afford to be lenient.”
the psychological toll of your confinement was severe. each day blended into the next, marked only by simon’s harsh rules and the stifling sense of isolation. his rare visits were a grim reminder of his control, each encounter underscored by his relentless authority.
when labor began, it was sudden and brutal. the first sign came with a sharp, searing pain that made you gasp and clutch the bed. a warm rush of liquid between your legs signaled your water breaking, soaking through the bed and creating a damp, unsettling mess. the shock of your water breaking was followed by an intense wave of contractions that took your breath away. the pain was relentless and overwhelming, radiating through your lower body with an intensity that left you writhing.
the contractions came in waves, each one more excruciating than the last. you gripped the bed, your bunny ears drooping with exhaustion and fear. the room was filled with the sounds of your struggle, the heavy breathing, and simon’s calming yet authoritative voice.
simon’s reaction was a mix of urgency and a controlled demeanor. his wolf ears perked up with concern, and his tail flicked restlessly behind him as he rushed to your side. he moved with grim efficiency, his hands firm yet surprisingly gentle as he took in the scene.
“breathe, love,” simon instructed, his voice a blend of authority and reassurance. “focus on your breathing. we need to get through this.”
“i can’t fucking handle this!” you gasped, tears streaming down your face. “it’s too much. i need help!”
“you can handle this,” simon insisted, his grip on your hand steady. “push through the pain. we’re almost there. you’re strong, and we’ll get through this together.”
the hours dragged on, marked by your strained breaths and his unwavering support. simon’s hands guided you through each contraction with a combination of force and tenderness. the room, once filled with hope and life, became a grim tableau of pain and exhaustion. your bunny ears were drooping with fatigue, and your body trembled with each wave of labor. simon’s wolf ears twitched with a mix of anxiety and determination, and his tail was stiff with focus.
finally, after what felt like an eternity of agonizing pain, the cries of the newborn pups pierced the air. the relief was profound but short-lived. you lay back on the bed, utterly exhausted, your body trembling from the ordeal. simon’s expression shifted from intense focus to something darker as he held the tiny, blood-slicked bodies in his hands.
as you lay there, spent and weak, you saw simon’s gaze turn from the pups to you, and then to the blood-soaked room. your bunny ears twitched in fear, and you were barely able to muster the strength to speak.
���simon?” you whispered, your voice cracking with exhaustion. “what the hell are you doing?”
simon’s eyes, once filled with awe, now revealed a disturbing hunger. his wolf ears perked up with a predatory gleam, and his tail flicked with primal excitement. he ignored your plea, his gaze locked onto the tiny bodies.
the blood from the pups pooled around you, and simon’s primal urge became palpable. his fangs elongated as he brought one of the pups to his mouth. the sickening sound of tearing flesh filled the room as he bit down, consuming the fragile body. the blood flowed freely, staining his hands and face.
“no, simon, please!” you screamed, your voice hoarse and desperate. “you’re killing them! you’re killing me! please, just stop!”
simon’s primal instincts had completely overtaken him. he continued to devour the remaining pups with a ravenous intensity, each bite more brutal than the last. his wolf tail lashed wildly, and his eyes were filled with a primal, insatiable need. the blood smeared across his face and hands, and the room was filled with the grotesque sounds of consumption.
the once-innocent cries of the newborns were replaced by the sickening squelch of flesh being torn apart. as simon’s hunger drove him further, the blood from the pups mixed with the blood flowing from your own body. the room was now a grisly scene of blood and gore, and the smell was nauseating.
when simon had finished with the pups, his gaze turned to you with a predatory hunger. the blood, now staining the bed and the floor, heightened his primal urge. his wolf ears were twitching with excitement, and his tail was stiff with anticipation.
simon’s movements were slow, deliberate, and unsettling as he crawled toward you on all fours. his predatory gaze never left you, his wolf ears twitching with each labored breath you took. your body was weak from the intense labor, and your attempts to move away were pitifully ineffective. the blood loss had left you trembling and disoriented, and the pain was excruciating.
“simon, no…” you whimpered, trying to crawl away, but your strength was gone. “please, don’t do this. i can’t… i can’t…”
simon’s eyes remained fixed on you, his hunger growing more intense with each passing moment. “you’re so weak,” he said, his voice low and chilling. “i’ve seen what you’re capable of. you won’t be able to get away.”
he moved closer, his fangs bared and his tail flicking with anticipation. your bunny ears drooped, and you felt a surge of panic as you realized the full extent of your helplessness.
“no, please, simon,” you pleaded, tears streaming down your face. “i beg you. don’t do this to me. i need to live. i’m begging you. please, stop!”
but simon’s primal instincts had completely overtaken him. driven by his wolf instincts, he closed the distance between you with an unrestrained ferocity. his fangs sank into your flesh with a brutal force, the pain was immediate and excruciating. it was a brutal, fiery torment that radiated through every fiber of your being, far surpassing any pain you had ever felt. you screamed, the sound tearing from your throat in a raw, desperate cry. the room seemed to spin around you, and your vision became a blur of anguish and disorientation.
in those agonizing moments, fragments of your life flashed before your eyes. memories of happier days, the faces of loved ones, and the dreams you once cherished flickered like haunting shadows. each memory was a stark contrast to the searing pain you were enduring, creating a disorienting, tragic montage of your past.
the weight of despair pressed down on you as the blood flowed freely, mixing with the remnants of the pups. your strength waned rapidly, and each breath became more labored. the cold, harsh reality of your impending end settled heavily upon you.
as simon’s relentless bite drained you, the room grew dimmer, and the pain became an overwhelming wave, dragging you down into darkness.
the finality of the moment came as simon’s primal nature overwhelmed all restraint. his wolf instincts had taken over completely, and the room, once filled with the hope of new life, was now a scene of unspeakable horror. the walls bore witness to a tragic end, driven by simon’s uncontrollable instincts and primal hunger.
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tags: @daniella666girl @lolololololhanma
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size0forhollywood ¡ 1 month ago
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Metafiction
Pt 2
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Content Warning: 21+,
Smut, nsfw, degrading, abuse, captivity, SA. Fourth Wall Breaks. Unintentional Weightloss, penetration, Angry Sylus.
A/N: Are we going to make it back home? Or are we going to be stuck in the N109 Zone? Safe to say I am having fun putting this all together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With no sunlight in the N109 zone you have no idea how long you’ve been cuffed to Sylus’ bed.
You’re still dirty from your last encounter with him. Still exposed to the cold.
You feel like you’ve been hit by a truck. Every single muscle and joint aches. Places begin to hurt that you didn’t think were possible. And the once comfortable mattress now felt hard against your backside.
You haven’t seen Sylus since you told him you hated him. Mephisto would occasionally come and go and you would talk to him. But it wasn’t the same as talking to a person.
Your mouth was sticky and dry at the same time from being severely dehydrated. Your stomach no longer growled in hunger and just hurts.
Was this Sylus’ plan? To leave you to rot away in his bed?
You hear the familiar flap of wings and Mephisto perches himself on your stomach. You keep your eyes closed though, too exhausted to move them.
Mephisto caws at you repeatedly but you honestly could not care. You let your head droop to the side resting on your arm.
“..go away..” your voice barely a whisper. You feel Mephisto take off and once again you’re left in cold dark silence. Maybe you’ve fallen asleep? You don’t know when you do anymore.
Sometime later you hear the bedroom door click open. The familiar sound of sylus’ footsteps echo in the room.
He walks over to the bed carrying a tray. You feel the bed dip as he sits down on the edge of the bed next to you.
“Open your eyes.” He demands. His voice cold like ice.
“Don’t make me say it again.” He threatens.
You muster what energy you have left and open your eyes to look at Sylus. He has a tray on his lap. A bowl, a spoon and a water bottle adorn the tray.
The smell of roasted pumpkin soup tickles your nose.
There’s no emotion on sylus’ face. He grabs the water bottle and unscrews the lid.
“Open up.”
You part your mouth and Sylus carefully raises the bottle to your dry and cracked lips. He gently tips the bottle up so that the water doesn’t flow too fast into your mouth.
Relief washes over you as you feel the water drench your mouth and coat your tongue. It’s so good and you can’t handle it. You start to choke and gag when you try to swallow.
Sylus pulls the bottle away and lets you finish coughing before trying again.
You look at him with teary eyes as he brings the water bottle back to your lips. You’re able to swallow it this time.
After a few mouthfuls he pulls the bottle away and screws the cap back on.
“Sylus… please uncuff me.”
Sylus ignores your request. He dips the spoon in the soup and scrapes the bottom on the edge of the bowl. Making sure it’s not overflowing or dripping.
He brings the spoon to your mouth. You part your lips once again and you let him feed you.
It was the best goddamn pumpkin soup you have ever eaten. Or did it only taste like heaven because it’s probably been days since you’ve eaten?
You keep watching Sylus’ face as he continues to spoon feed you the soup. For some moments you swear you could see something glimmering in his eyes but before you get a chance to figure it out he returns to his stone wall expression.
Once the bowl is empty he places the tray in the middle of the bed and gives you some more water.
“Sylus..please.”
Sylus looks you up and down. Taking in the sight of your violated and bruised body. Again, you think you see something flicker in his eyes but it’s gone just as quickly as it comes.
He leans forward and fear starts to rise with you again. His hand raises and you screw your eyes shut bracing for impact. But it never comes. Instead you feel the handcuffs click. You wriggle your wrists until they’re free and your arms immediately fall to your side.
Your arms so relieved now. And you can’t help but shed some tears. You look up at Sylus, he is still sitting down next to you and staring.
“T-thank you.” You whisper.
You look at your wrists, they are purple and bleeding. You try to stifle some sobs but are unsuccessful.
You then feel Sylus’ arm snake around your waist. He hoists you up in his arms and is carrying you bridal style.
“What are you doing?” You ask but he still ignores you.
He starts walking over to the bathroom and expertly manoeuvres you both through the door without touching the sides.
A hot bath has already been drawn and you’re left wondering when the hell that happened.
“I’m gonna put you down now.” He finally speaks.
Your feet gently hit the floor and you’re immediately wobbly. He wraps an arm around your shoulders to steady you.
“Arms up.”
“I-I can’t.”
He huffs as he removes your shirt off your body with a-bit of difficulty. Leaving you completely naked in front of him.
“Get in.”
You follow his command and he helps you settle into the tub. The water was a perfect temperature. The relief it gave your muscles was indescribable and you can’t help but let out a soft noise of appreciation. Sylus stares at you for a moment. Watching you relax, a small smile playing on your lips. He knew it would help. After all, he put some magnesium in the water to help soothe your muscle aches.
Sylus leaves the bathroom for a moment and returns with towels and a couple of bags. He places them on the vanity.
“Some clothes for you to change into when you’re done.” He disappears out of the bathroom again. Leaving you to have your privacy.
You sink a little further into the tub letting the warm water relax every one of your aching muscles.
Why was he being nice? Honestly it’s enough to give you emotional whiplash. You try not to think about it and focus on cleaning yourself.
As you’re scrubbing your body you notice your pubis is bruised. A Shiver and a wave of disgust flows through your body as you remember why you’re bruised. Under any other circumstances you would have considered that to be one of the best orgasms of your life so far but you can’t. Not with what he’s done to you.
You stay in the tub until the water is cold and your hands and feet are shrivelled and wrinkly.
Regretfully, you stand up and step out of the tub. Still a bit wobbly on your feet but you are able to make your way to the vanity. The towel is soft and fluffy. How can someone so cruel have such nice things?
You stare in the mirror as you dry yourself and you don’t recognise the person staring back at you. Your skin has gotten pale, your eyes look sunken in. Collar bones, rib bones and hip bones all visible now.
A tiny sob starts to form, you hate what you see. You feel disgusting. That one ounce of self love you did have is gone.
But what was the point of dwelling on it though? You brush away your tears before they can fall and look through the bag of clothes.
All he’s provided you were dresses and the sight of it makes you feel nauseous. You find a blue spaghetti strapped dress and put it on. At least it hides your body that you now hate.
You make your way back to the bedroom and you’re greeted by Sylus sitting on the bed reading a book. The top two buttons of his dress shirt were undone and he was wearing glasses. A look you’re familiar with from the game. It was sexy. You curse yourself for going there and shake your head.
He looks up at you and pats the spot next to him.
“Sit.”
“I’d rather stand.”
Sylus sighs and snaps the book shut. He stands up and closes the distance between you and grips your forearm.
“Let go!” You wince out but of course he doesn’t. He forces you to sit on the bed next to him.
“We need to talk.” His face remaining unreadable and you hated it.
“Mephisto told me your little crow story.” Sylus is still gripping your forearm. “He seems intent on believing you. And with what we found at the wormhole site I’m more than inclined to agree with him.”
You sit up straight, does this mean he’s going to let you go?
“But tell me this. You said your world has no evols or “aliens” and that it was all make believe.”
You nod.
“So, why did we find new and unseen protocores hmm? Energy readings that have brought every criminal in the N109 zone and far beyond wanting to find the source of these new protocores.”
“I-I don’t know.”
“Why can’t I read your mind hmm?” Sylus’ grip tightens.
“Sylus I don’t know!” You whimper.
“How did you survive travelling through a wormhole without a ship?!”
He leans in closer to your face, trying to read your expression. It infuriates him the he can’t read your mind.
“Please, just let me go.” You beg.
Sylus scoffs, “believe it or not sweetie, this is the safest place for you right now.”
You shiver at the pet name. “Don’t call me that.”
“What? You prefer pathetic whore?” Your eyes sting with anger.
Before even thinking about it you raise your hand to try and slap him but of course he’s too quick and grabs your bruised wrist, making you groan in pain.
“Scratch that, stupid whore.” In one quick motion he has you pinned on your stomach on the bed.
His hand pressing the side of your face into the mattress.
“Let go of me!” You try to squirm free but black tendrils are holding you down.
You can feel him on top of you, his chest pressed against your back.
“You really are pathetic.” He whispers into your ear. “You disgust me.”
“If I disgust you so fucking much why don’t you just kill me? Get it over with!” You spit back.
He scoffs before pressing your face deeper into the mattress.
“Where’s the fun in that?”
You feel him flip up the skirt of your dress to reveal your bare ass and pussy to him.
“No Sylus don’t please!” You beg.
“You can beg all you want. You know your body wants this.” He grabs your hips and props you on your knees.
Tears start spilling down your face.
“Please Sylus..”
You hear the sound of a zipper and try to move but you’re unable to.
“No! Get away from me!”
Your body freezes as you feel something large poking at your entrance.
You start to sob. He leans down and whispers in your ear. “Relax, no reason for it to be painful.”
If it’s anything like all those fanfics you’ve read you just know it’s going to be huge. Wait, why did you think about that Y/N? Now you’re gonna get aroused.
Sylus slowly inserts himself between your folds he does so quiet easily as you’re all slick and warm for him.
“Fuck..” you hear him groan.
You can’t help but let out a little moan as you feel him slowly enter you. Your plush hot walls clenching and relaxing around him. You can feel sylus’ breath on your face begin to shudder with every inch forward.
In this position he gets himself buried deep within you. You swear you can fill him poking your ribs.
“Sylus please..” you let out a tiny cry.
He nibbles your ear lobe. “That’s it, you’re doing well, relax.”
You squeeze your eyes shut as Sylus pulls back and then thrusts softly back in. He starts off slow waiting for you to be relaxed and welcoming for him. Once you’ve adjust to his substantial size he picks up the pace.
You just can’t help but moan in pleasure, he feels so fucking good. Plus the way he’s grunting and letting out small moans as well makes you all the more aroused and accepting.
The hand that’s holding your head into the mattress relaxes, he slides his fingers down to your mouth.
“Open up.” You oblige and he shoves two fingers in your mouth.
“Get them nice and wet for me.” A tear rolls down your cheek but you do as he says. Sucking and swirling your tongue around his fingers.
“Fuck..that’s it.” His voice is low and hungry. He pulls his fingers out and goes exploring for your clit. Which he finds very easily. With his fingers coated in your saliva he starts massaging your clit.
“Ahh fuck…!” You moan out. With the way he’s fucking you and massaging your clit you feel an orgasm fast approaching.
Sylus can feel it too and he doesn’t change a thing.
“S..Sylus…!” Your eyes roll back as wave after wave of pleasure rolls through you. Your walls vibrate vigorously around his thick cock and he can’t take it anymore either. Sylus cums in your tight pussy. Your juices mixing together and spilling out, down your thighs.
Sylus’ movements still and he rests his head against your cheek as he rides out the last bit of his orgasm.
You start to sob a little as reality hits you again. Sylus scoffs.
“Look at you. I bet you’d let anyone fuck you, you dirty slut.”
“Fuck you!” You start crying. “I didn’t LET you do anything!” Your body is trembling as anger, shame and guilt course through you.
Sylus scoffs again and pulls out. More of his cum spilling out your pussy as he does and you hate the feeling. You feel his Evol release you but you don’t move. You lay there sobbing on the bed.
“I hate you so fucking much.”
“I know.”
After a few moments you pull your dress down to cover yourself and sit up, glaring at him.
He’s already cleaned himself and made himself decent.
“You’re free to explore the compound but don’t even think about trying to leave. You won’t get very far.”
He walks out of the bedroom and you’re alone once again. You wipe your tears and head to the bathroom to clean yourself up and change your dress.
~
After what felt like an eternity trying to get yourself ‘clean’ you decide you will explore the base. After all you don’t want to be in that room anymore. The smell of your sex still lingers in the room.
The place was huge. Long vast hallways and many doors to try. A lot of them were locked but you finally found one that opened up to what looks like a library and a sitting room.
Seriously? How many books does someone need? They’re probably all about guns and weapons.
You decide to go in and browse to see what you can find and you were right. Every book you’ve looked at was about some sort of weapon.
You let out a sigh and find a simple manual about a handgun. You decide to read it. Considering where you are you might come across some guns so it’s probably a good idea to figure out how to use one.
You’re about to sit down and get comfortable to read when Luke and Kieran walk through the door, they’re holding a tray of food.
It smells delicious but you don’t feel like eating after what just happened.
They set the tray down on the desk thats pushed up against a wall.
“Boss said he wants us to make sure you’re getting plenty of food and staying hydrated.” Luke chimes.
You can’t help but scowl.
“I’m not hungry.” You say defiantly.
“It’s really good though.” Luke says in a sing songy voice.
An idea pops into your head.
“Hey.. do you think you guys could get me ou-”
“I’m gonna stop you right there.” Kieran cuts me off.
“We know you’ve had it rough. But we’re not gonna betray the boss for you okay? Get used to it and eat.”
What the hell? They’re so much more friendly in the game. But this wasn’t a game anymore. You feel yourself getting angry.
You walk over to the desk. “I’m not some pet you feed and just forget about.”
“So you can take your food and shove it.” You swipe at the tray and fling it off the table. The food going everywhere.
Luke and Kieran are still for a moment. The three of you in a stand off. You’re just waiting for them to say or do anything. They start to walk out the door.
“He’s not gonna be happy about that.” Kieran warns.
“I don’t give a fuck.” You retort.
You’re left alone in the library. You see the wasted food on the floor. Looks like it was chicken with steamed veggies and rice.
You walk past the mess and sit on the couch. Opening that book you were gonna read.
It takes you a while to focus but you get there. The manual was actually getting interesting and you were so engrossed you didn’t realise you weren’t alone anymore.
“Not a fan of chicken?” A deep voice snaps you out of your concentration.
You look up and Sylus is standing in front of you.
“Stand up.” He demands.
“No.”
“You’re so fucking stubborn.” He says through clenched teeth.
He grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls you up.
“Let go!” You start hitting his arm but it’s not doing anything.
“You are going to eat!” His voice loud and booming. He forces you to the floor where the spoiled food is.
“No! I’d rather bite my own tongue off!”
“Eat!” He shoves you head against the floor.
“No!” You scream back at him.
Sylus growls as he pulls you back to your feet. It feels like he’s pulling chunks of hair out as he does.
He lifts you and slams you onto the desk, you nearly have the wind knocked out of you.
“Fuck off!” You continue hitting at his arm.
“Did you not listen to a word I said earlier?!” Sylus lets go of your hair and pins your arms down flat against the desk.
“Let go of me!” You start twisting your body, doing any desperate attempt to get out of his arms.
“Calm down!”
Angry sobs escape you. He’s immobilised you once again.
In the scuffle your dress bunched up around your waist and something burns inside Sylus when he looks down at you. It’s a desire he’s felt all along and it angers him. He already gave into it in the bedroom. He feels a need to take you again but he tries so hard to ignore it.
“What? Got nothing else to say?” He taunts.
“Fuck.. you!”
Sylus uses his evol to hold you down again. He can’t resist. He brings his hands to the front of your dress and rips it open like it’s nothing but a piece of paper.
“As you wish.”
You try and move your arms but the black tendrils keep you down, again.
Sylus lifts yours legs over his shoulders. And you hear him unbuckling his belt, getting himself ready.
You try squeezing your legs tight but all it does is make Sylus chuckle.
“That’s not going to do anything.”
“I don’t care.” You sob.
Sylus doesn’t prepare you this time. He doesn’t take it slow either. Once he lines himself up he thrusts hard into you, making you scream from the forceful intrusion.
Like usual the tears are streaming down your face but the noises you’re making contradict them. You want to hate this. You want to hate this so fucking bad. But it just. Feels. Too. Good.
The way he’s thrusting hard and fast, hitting all the right spots once again. You can’t help it. And you know he knows.
He can feel it. The way you get so wet for him. The way you open up for him and accept his girthy length. He sees the way your face flushes as you get closer to an orgasm. It intoxicates him..but also infuriates him.
You tilt your head back as yet another orgasm takes hold of you. Your moans fill the air.
“I…hate…you..” you breathe in between moans.
Sylus cums as he feels your walls flutter and squeeze him. His seed spilling inside you for a second time that evening.
“I.. know.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
55 notes ¡ View notes
teal-fiend ¡ 16 days ago
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prey delivery service
summary: a pred being rude because his prey delivery was late to arrive
The clock ticked past midnight, and the predator’s patience ran thin. He reclined on his leather couch, fingers drumming irritably on the armrest as he glared at his phone screen, waiting for the delivery that was already half an hour late.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, sending another angry text to his personal assistant. She’d promised everything would be in order, that the ‘food’ would be there in five minutes. But here he was, stomach growling, craving the feel of something fresh (very fresh) and warm inside him.
Just as he was about to let out a growl of frustration, the door finally opened, and in walked a pair of delivery men, flanking a nervous young man. 
The predator’s gaze swept over him, sizing him up with narrowed eyes, hunger-tainted. He was perfect, plump, and there was something deliciously soft about him. This would do nicely. 
“Finally,” The predator sighed, sounding as if he’d just endured the worst day of his life. “You know, if you’re going to offer this kind of service, you could at least be on time.”
The young man gulped, wide-eyed as the delivery men guided him further into the room, like guiding cattle towards the slaughterhouse. The assistant rushed in a few seconds behind them, and began to apologise, explaining there had been a delay with traffic, but the predator waved her off.
“Just get him over here,” he snapped, gesturing to the trembling young man. “I’m not sitting around listening to excuses. You know how my stomach gets if I’m not fed on time.”
Oddly on cue, his stomach intruded with a thick, angry growl. A few people jumped at that sound. The predator grimaced, and put a hand over it. 
The delivery men guided the young man closer, positioning him within reach, but the predator didn’t move, he merely glared up at them. “Well?” he barked, arms crossed. “I’m waiting.”
The delivery men exchanged a hesitant glance, and one of them leaned down to coax the prey forward - it was supposed to offer itself up to the predator - but the prey wasn’t having it. 
“Uhm, what’s going on?” The prey stutters. The predator’s gaze whips over to his assistant, who shrugs. He looks towards the delivery men, who have a similarly vacant expression.
The predator tutted, rolling his eyes at the awkward situation. 
“Honestly, you’re telling me he didn’t know what he was signed up for? This is ridiculous.”
Finally, the young man met the predator’s gaze, swallowing hard, fear etched across his face. The predator’s expression softened just enough to appear less intimidating, though impatience still simmered under his skin. 
“You were sent here as my meal. I am going to eat you.”
“W-what?!”
Before wasting any more time, he reached up, pulling the man closer, and gave a smug, satisfied hum as he opened his mouth and began to devour.
Each swallow was deliberate, the predator taking his time to savour every inch, pausing to breathe and let his stomach expand as it grew tauter. His belly began to bulge like it had many times during its career. It strained against his shirt buttons, which were stretched to their limit by the time he finished. He licked his lips, content as he gave his belly a proprietary pat.
But then, a twinge of discomfort pinched him as he adjusted in his seat, and he scowled at his assistant. “Unbutton me,” he snapped, exasperated. She stepped forward, carefully but quickly undoing the buttons over his prey-filled stomach until he could breathe easier. The relief was palpable, but he gave her a disdainful look as if it were her fault for not foreseeing that slight discomfort.
“Finally,” he said loudly, reclining back and giving his belly a smug rub. “You know, this would’ve been much easier if he’d been here on time. Now my stomach’s all worked up, thanks to you lot.” He shot the assistant a cold glare.
“Yes, sir,” she replied, keeping her tone even as she packed up and prepared to leave.
The predator huffed and closed his eyes, settling back with a groan. “Well, see that it doesn’t happen again. I don’t care what it takes; I expect my meal on time.”
As the last of the staff shuffled out, he relaxed fully, sinking into the chair, his fingers idly squeezing at his gut. The deep, tight fullness soothed him, and slowly, he drifted into sleep, Grumbling incoherently about tardiness and incompetence. 
His sleepy brain was still fired up as he lay, edging towards sleep - How hard was it to keep a predator of his stature properly fed, relaxed, and—ideally—never left waiting?
And that prey… Well, he tasted fine, but the prep was completely unacceptable.
The predator planned on telling his assistant to make sure his prey has been well-prepared next time—no shivering or backing away. The predator did not want to deal with nerves while he was trying to enjoy a meal. 
After all, someone of his calibre deserved nothing less than absolute perfection, a full belly and none of the waiting. The predator fell asleep Entirely satisfied with himself.
42 notes ¡ View notes
sentientcave ¡ 4 months ago
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Retirement Party
Chapter 7 - Like Water
Read on AO3
<<First Chapter - < Prev Chapter - Chapter Index - Next Chapter>
Contains: No Y/N (2nd POV but Reader is an OC), Kidnapping, Forcible relocation, Plus-sized Reader/OC, female Reader/OC, Everyone learns new things about each other, Manipulation, PTSD, Doll has a tragic backstory, Lots more introspection
~4.3k - MDNI - Dark fic! Please mind the content warning above but honestly nothing particularly bad happens this chapter either. Maybe we're rounding the corner on that.
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John’s hand closes around yours, and he lets you draw him out into the rain.
He’s likely no stranger to getting rained on— It’s not hard to imagine him and his boys trudging through all manner of inhospitable climates, carrying heavy gear, on high alert for danger. But this is different. This is not about survival, not a mission with objectives to fulfill. It’s just the two of you.
John looks at you like you’re the moon and all the stars in the sky, like you can’t possibly be real. Every time he thinks he has a handle on you, you surprise him. You surprise yourself too.
You spin across the lawn until you’re dizzy and nearly stagger over. John catches you, steadies you, smiles back when you give him an unfocused grin. “Your turn,” you suggest. It would be good for him to shed his own burdens, let himself be childish, remind him that the world doesn’t have to weigh so heavy on his shoulders.
It can all be so much lighter together, somehow.
He spins twice, water sluicing off the brim of his hat, and then wraps himself around you, hoisting you into his arms to spin again, and again. You both laugh, clinging to each other tightly, and something in your chest unlocks, lets go for the first time in days. Maybe the first time in years.
You’re not afraid of him anymore.
John spins one too many times and overbalances, the two of you tipping over onto the wet grass, John uttering a soft “Fuck!” as he folds so that you land on top of him. You look down as he looks up, both of you still laughing, water dripping down your faces, catching in his eyelashes, the hat no protection at this angle. His eyes reflect back the stormy skies, turned almost gray in the early twilight.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?” he asks, pushing your wet hair back from your face. “I l— I like having you around.”
“I’m starting to like being around,” you admit.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You lean down and kiss him, no more that a peck, tasting rainwater on his lips. “Lets go inside.”
It takes him a moment to register what you’ve said. The kiss, no more than the barest press of lips, has him stunned. There’s a part of you that’s stunned too, even at your own actions, even though it shouldn’t come as any surprise. You’ve known you would kiss him since the first time he kissed you, maybe since the moment that Ghost dumped you in his lap, you only thought it would take more time.
You thought everything would take more time, but John has his own gravity, a way of stretching moments into little eternities. It’s only been a few days really, but you feel like you know him. Like maybe you can trust him too.
He helps you to your feet, and you walk back to the shelter of the porch hand in hand. It feels like a new beginning for you both, something giving way between you. John has breached your once impenetrable walls, and you aren’t afraid, despite the imbalance. For all his overtures, it will be a long time before he offers himself up to you the way you must for him. John only wants to show you the best parts of his heart, but you’ll show him how to bleed, how to hold the shadows up to the light, how to hold space for all the things that make him who he is. He doesn’t have to chain up his demons like dogs out in the yard. All that hungers is starved for something denied it.
You will love all of him, or none of him. What hungers in you will settle for nothing less.
There has never been any room in your heart for settling for only parts of someone. The home you grew up in was filled with love and acceptance. Your parents loved each other, loved you unconditionally, respected each other, held space for the good and the bad, settled every argument with calm discussion. If you build a home with someone, it will be following that blueprint. If you ever do have children, you want to give them what you had.
Before you go inside, you scrub one of the towels over your head and toe off your shoes. John follows close on your heels.
“I’m going to get changed,” you say. “And then we can have tea, and talk? I think we might have some things to discuss.”
“Could run you a bath to warm up,” he offers. “Don’t want you getting sick.”
“Maybe later. Tea for now.” You move out of range before he can reach out for you, and hurry up the stairs. He wants to kiss you again— You can feel his want like the scorch of a wildfire, the heat of his eyes following you up the stairs. Only once you’ve closed the door to your room do you hear him on the stairs, his weighted footsteps just audible above the drumming of rain on the roof.
You strip off your wet clothes and stare into the closet with a grimace. You’d been wearing jeans and pullovers for the last few days, but you don’t want to pull denim on over your clammy thighs, and your only pair of sweatpants were in need of a wash even before you were taken here. Rude of the boys not to wait until after laundry day to kidnap you and upend your life. You’re not certain that wearing a cute, brightly coloured dress will be constructive, but it’s the majority of your wardrobe. The Kinsey kids had loved all your bright, swishy skirts, and it had made it easy for them to spot you when you went to pick them up from school, despite the fact that you’re so short. At least everything has a conservative hemline, coming down to mid-calf or to the ankle.
You find a blue t-shirt, a mustard coloured skirt and some tall socks that tie with a silky ribbon above the knee (and out of sight), and throw a cardigan over top of everything. It’s comfortable. You hope that John doesn’t read into it.
He steps out of his room the same time you open your door, and you meet in the narrow landing, looking at each other. He’s wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt that clings to his still damp skin, his eyes warm as they travel down and back up to your face. Heat prickles over skin that was chilled just a moment ago. “You look nice,” he says. “You always do, but this is— I mean— You just look beautiful.” He rubs the back of his neck, boyish smile sheepish.
You feel like a teenager with her first crush. Without fear to hold you back, it’s so much harder to ignore the desire that burns the tips of your ears and drips like melted sugar into the pit of your stomach. “Thank you. You look, um. Fit.”
Both of you laugh, and the tensions breaks some, enough to get you both moving again. He heads back to the kitchen, reaching it just at the kettle starts to whistle. He busies himself making tea. “I’ll get started on dinner in a minute too— Figure tomorrow we can go to the shops, get your paints, get groceries. I won’t ask you to cook, but you might like different things than I usually get.” There’s an ease to his movements now, like he’s finally relaxing too. He’s been careful not to show it, but he’s been having a hard time getting used to this new reality, same as you.
When he sets the tea to the side to steep, you touch his arm gently. “Hey, John,” you say. He turns toward you, and you wrap your arms around his middle and hug him.
He curls around you instantly, pressing his face to the top of your head. “What’s this for?”
“Do I need a reason?”
His laugh reverberates through you. “S’pose not, Doll. I just want to know what I’m doin’ right so I can keep doin’ it.”
“Don’t worry so much. I know how hard you’re trying to make this easy.” You hum, breathing in the smell of laundry detergent and rainwater and John. “Well. Easier.”
“I want to keep you,” he mumbles against your hair. “Want you to want to stay.” The shiver of raw emotion surprises you. “I’ll do whatever it takes.” There’s an edge to his voice, desperation that cuts him to the bone. He’s been alone and lonely for a long time. Longer than he’s been here, certainly.
There’s slight resistance when you pull back, like he’s reluctant to let you out of his arms now that you’ve placed yourself in them, but he doesn’t hold on. You look up at him. “You don’t have to do anything, John. We’re just getting to know each other. Most people have the luxury of taking their time. We’ve kind of been thrown together, instead of, you know, going on dates like normal people.”
“Would you let me take you out? You already look so good, we could go somewhere nice.”
“What, right now? John, it’s pouring out there.”
He looked out the window, like he had forgotten the weather entirely. “It’s always raining. We don’t have to let that stop us.”
“Actually, I think we should,” you say firmly. “We can go out another night.”
His shoulders droop slightly as he pours two mugs of tea. “I know. It’s just— Today has been good. Really good. Don’t want that to stop.”
“We don’t need to go anywhere to make it a date. We can have dinner and a movie right here.”
“Yeah?”
You nod, accepting the mug of tea he offers you. “Sure. I’d like that. Let’s get started on dinner. What can I do to help?”
He doesn’t let you help much (something you’ll have to address at some point. He’s not a bad cook per-say, but you know you’re better), so you putter around and clean up your art supplies, arranging some candles on the table. You can feel his eyes on you, and when you turn he looks away, never fast enough to hide that ridiculous, hopeful smile, his blue eyes bright. Bad beginnings be damned. Maybe you can forget how it all started— It’s not like it’s his fault, is it? He didn’t ask for his former subordinates to kidnap him a companion. All he’s done is like you, and ask you to stay.
And Lola likes him. That has to count for something.
You sit next to him at dinner rather than all the way at the other end of the table. His knee rests against yours, and his eyes flicker in the candlelight as he watches you, satisfied by your nearness.
After dinner, he washes the dishes and you dry them and put them away, your arms brushing each other occasionally. It’s nice— Domestic and cozy, so easy to fall into a rhythm with him. You catch yourself daydreaming about making it work, wondering what that could look like, and his words from the first night come back to you in a rush. We’ll have to come up with a better story for our kids.
It had horrified you only a few days ago.
Now you’re not sure how you feel.
It’s so hard to keep your head on straight with this man. You almost miss the fear, it kept you smart, kept you wary, and now you’re considering throwing caution to the wind after one good day, thinking about how it might not be so bad to give him anything and everything he wants. To trust him blindly, implicitly, and hope for the best.
You pick some movie to watch, and sit on your little red couch with your legs stretched out instead of the big one where he could sit beside you. A little distance might help you clear your head some. He doesn’t say anything, but he moves closer before the movie is even halfway through, sitting on the floor next to you with his back against the couch. You shift a little closer and drape your arm over his shoulder, and try not to giggle when he presses a kiss to the inside of your wrist.
The rest of the movie become background noise. You’re aware only of every point of contact along your arm, the way he holds your palm over his heart and rubs his thumb across your knuckles, the prickle of his beard through your sweater, the way he feels warm and solid when you shift closer still.
When the movie ends, neither one of you moves, until a question slips out of your mouth. “Have you ever been married, John?”
His head tilts back to look at you. The room is dark, barely illuminated by the scroll of white letters over a dark screen. He hesitates a moment before speaking. “Yeah. Once.”
“What happened?”
John sighs, his thumb tapping now. “We met at some party in London when we were teens. I had just turned eighteen, just graduated from the academy to the regular service, and we had this spark— I was head over heels for her so quickly. Always thought you could only fall in love like that when you’re eighteen. We got married when I was twenty but I wasn’t home much, got deployed just about right away. I don’t think she took things as seriously as I did. Can’t blame her, we were young, she was still getting her degree. I just didn’t realize how much we weren’t on the same page until she got pregnant.” His mouth set in a hard line under his moustache for a moment. “She didn’t want to be a mother, had bigger ambitions for herself. So I took a bit of leave, brought her to the clinic. It was what was best, probably for both of us, but I felt like the whole world had just fallen out from under me.”
“Oh.” You weren’t exactly sure what you had expected him to say. You bring your hand up to his opposite shoulder, half of a hug.
“I couldn’t blame her. Wanted to, but she had the right. I wasn’t home enough. Wouldn’t’ve been right for me to beg her to change her mind. But that was the end. We both walked out of that clinic knowin’ it.” He tucks his chin into the crook of your elbow for a moment, breathing raggedly. It’s not until you feel the hot splash of tears on your arm that you realize that he’s crying, and trying very hard not to.
“Oh. Oh, John, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” You swing your legs down and kneel beside him, pulling him into your arms. “It’s so hard to do the right thing sometimes, isn’t it?”
John wrangles you into his lap like it’s nothing and presses his face to your shoulder, just breathing. You stroke his hair, making soothing sounds while he gets himself centred again. “Fuck. ‘M sorry, Doll. Didn’t want you to see me like this.” His arms loosen enough for you to pull away and look at him in the darkness.
“You’re not a fortress, John. You’re just a man. It’s okay to cry.”
“Haven’t seen you cry,” he says. “Even after everything. You’ve kept it all together.”
“No I haven’t. I just cry in the shower so you won’t hear me.” You pat his cheek, wiping away an errant tear with your thumb. “Didn’t want to break down in front of you, knew you’d fix me up. Wasn’t sure if I could trust you.”
“Wasn’t?” he asks hopefully. “Do you trust me now?”
“We’re getting there. It takes time, John.”
He huffs, a rueful smile taking over. “I know it does. Guess I’m still impatient. Want to kiss you for bein’ so sweet, makin’ everything so much better. But I won’t rush you along.”
“You want to kiss me?”
“Every minute since I met you. Haven’t I been obvious about that?”
You shake your head, laughing. “No, I mean right now. I would like to, if you’re—” You don’t get a chance to finish your sentence, because he cuts you off with a kiss, your request breaking through his restraint like water through a dam. He starts soft, cupping your face delicately, and when you kiss him back it turns languid, possessive, his tongue sliding against yours, head tipped to the side so he can get even closer.
He breaks the kiss to rearrange you in his lap so that you’re straddling his hips, legs spread wide to accommodate the size of him. Now you really wish that you’d worn jeans, just to have an extra layer of fabric separating you. This feels dangerous, like playing with fire, but you ignore the warning and let him pull you back in again, threading your fingers into his thick, soft hair.
His hands are everywhere now, sliding under your cardigan and feeling out all your softest places, the rolls above your hips, your plush thighs, gripping the curve of your ass to notch your hips closer together. He steals your breath when you let out a shuddering gasp, licking into your mouth. His want makes you dizzy— You’re not sure if anyone has kissed you like John does, like he needs you more than air. It’s frightening, but it sets a fire in your blood that could consume you in a moment if you let it. You want to burn up, let go, watch all the things that hold you back blow away like ashes on the wind.
But you’ve always been more like water.
John kisses down your throat, but he surfaces a moment later when you freeze in his arms. He sighs, thumb brushing across your jaw. “You’re not ready for this.”
“I’m sorry—”
“No. Don’t be. I don’t want you to push yourself, not when it comes to this. Don’t let me get ahead of myself, Doll.”
You nod. “I’ll try.”
He kisses you again, just softly, sweetly, slowly. And then he lets you go.
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John’s hand rests on your thigh as he drives down the road. The countryside that passes by is muted, brown and gold fields, farm houses, fence posts, animals, and you see it without really paying it much mind, half focused on the texture of John’s hand under your own, the rough scars on his knuckles, the dusting of hair, the way his musculature fits together, the crooked fingers that didn’t quite set right. You can feel him smiling— He hasn’t stopped since you asked if it would be alright to go to Aberdeen, to an art store you used to go to with your mum. It’s further away, a long enough drive that you felt silly for asking, but John insisted that he didn’t mind.
Maybe he means it when he says he’ll do anything to make you happy. It’s strange, and you feel like you haven’t earned that, but it’s nice too.
Part of you is still thinking about last night, about kissing him. You feel the imprints of his hands everywhere he touched you, as though branded onto your skin. There’s a tension, although you’re not certain if it’s real, or if it’s just the slight burn of shame for the way you touched yourself after, once you’d said goodnight, one hand clamped over your mouth to keep yourself silent and the other between your legs. You haven’t been to church in a long time, but it’s hard to shake Catholic guilt even now.
You press your thighs together at the memory, and very pointedly don’t look at John. It’s better if you can believe that he doesn’t notice the effect he has on you. It saves you a little embarrassment.
Although there’s really nothing to be embarrassed about, is there? He’s not very good at hiding his own attraction, if he’s even trying. You both know it’s mutual now. It is what it is.
Once you reach the outskirts of Aberdeen, you give him directions on how to get to the art story. It looks exactly the same as you remember, even though it’s been at least a decade since you’ve been there. It’s like walking into a memory, the smell of paper and paint and the slight dusty smell of a shop with slow turnover tickling your nose. If you close your eyes, you can slip back in time, to when you came here with both your parents. You hadn’t lived far off, so you walked there on nice days, and your dad would sit on the bench outside with Rob Roy, the big dog flopped over on his feet. Sometimes you’d sit with him, when your mother got talking to the woman that worked there, but you always looked at everything first, from the shelves of ink bottles that shone like precious gems, the copic markers, every colour imaginable laid out in neat rows, the tubes and bottles of paints. You loved to touch the brushes, feel the different types of bristles. Back then the softest, swishiest brushes were your favourites, but you’d grown to prefer a hard flat brush once you’d started developing your own style.
“Are you alright?” John asks, touching your shoulder, dragging you back to the present.
You must look so foolish, standing just inside the door with your eyes closed. “I’m fine,” you say quickly. “Just remembering.”
“You know, if you ever want to talk—”
“Oh, good morning. Was thinkin’ I imagined the bell.” A friendly, round-faced woman comes bustling out from between the narrow shelves. She looks at you for a long moment, running her hand through her short-cropped grey hair. “You’re Angie’s girl.”
You nod. “Um. Yes.” You hadn’t expected to be recognized.
She steps forward and hugs you tight. “Christ almighty, s’good ta see you. Back in town ta see your gran, are you?”
“Not today. I recently moved back to the area. Not in town. Out a ways. Just wanted to come out here.”
“She’s getting back into painting, but she needs some supplies,” John chimes in.
The woman— Faye, if you remember right— studies John briefly, and then looks back at you, a conspiratorial smile on her face. “Found yourself a big, handsome fellow, did you?”
“I needed one that could get things off the top shelf for me,” you joke. “He has his uses.”
Faye chuckles. “I’m sure he does. D’you just need paint, sunshine? Or brushes, supports— Your mam like gesso boards, are you the same? We still carry the brand of oil paints she liked. Know you used acrylic when you were a girl, but…”
You start talking, and John wanders off through the store, looking around at everything. Can he feel the ghosts here too? You hope that if souls do cling to the earth, that they haunt the places that they loved, and not the ones where they died. You’d hate to think of you mother trapped amongst the flux of strangers traveling through Piccadilly Circus, or your father in some London hospital. You’d rather think of them together, here, or in the little house they’d moved to in Manchester, or on some beach in Barcelona, where they met.
“You’re a lot like her, you know,” Faye says when she rings it all up, tucking everything into the box that sits on the counter between you. John’s in the middle of carrying some canvas and boards out to the truck, already tallied up.
The observation surprises you. You’ve always seen more of your father in you. “You think so?”
Faye nods, smiling warmly. “It’s the way you talk. Some of your mannerisms. Even the way you dress, all those bright, beautiful dresses. Angie’s definitely your mam, and she’d be so proud of who you’re becomin’.” She winks as John re-enters the shop. “She might not have loved your Englishman, though. Doesna seem a bad sort, but he’s still English.”
You laugh, but it’s a bit watery. John wraps a comforting arm around your shoulders while he pays, a funny smile on his face. When the two of you settle back into the truck, he watches you for a long moment as you run your fingers over the business card Faye gave you. “What?” you ask, sneaking a glance back.
“Thank you for bringing me here.”
“You took me here.”
“No, I mean— This place means a lot to you. I’m glad you asked. It was well worth the trip to see you smile like that, talkin’ about things I don’t understand in the least.” He reaches over and squeezes your knee. “I don’t mean to pry, Doll, but what happened to your parents?”
“I don’t want to ruin the rest of the day. Let’s not talk about that right now.” You tuck the card into your pocket and buckle your seat belt. “It’s still hard to talk about.”
He nods and backs out of the tight parking lot carefully, his hand leaving your knee to brace against the back of your seat when he turns to look. “In your own time, Doll. It just clearly hurts you and I— Well, I guess I can’t help, but I can at least listen, when you’re ready.”
“Thanks, John,” you say. “We’ll get there.”
There’s a lightness in you now, like you pulled open the curtains and opened the windows in a room long left dark and closed off. It feels good to open up. It feels good to look back, for the first time in ages, like you’re returning to some vital part of yourself, an oxbow lake reconnecting to the river, sediment washing away what kept you apart.
And it’s different— You aren’t the same person you were a week ago, let alone a decade, but that’s a good thing too. You’ve been afraid to change, worried that the years would turn you into someone that your parents wouldn’t recognize.
But you carry them with you. And you aren’t afraid to change anymore.
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