#but honestly I've got nothing

[yooboobies]

angel sunshine for an angel sunshine | for @huhfeatjhope

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[mare-sanguis]

i have a fic in my ao3 drafts and it's gonna be such a jumpscare

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Drew WWX and LWJ after I finished my rewatch of The Untamed a few months ago. I have gotten marginally better. May this set a benchmark for what to expect from this blog.

June 2023 redraw, June 2024 redraw

[ottosuwuen]

You know what's the funniest thing about arc 7-8 to me?

It's revealed that Vincent has never bedded a woman nor had children.

When the rumors of Vincent's illegitimate son spread, Chisha, Vincent's closest servant since their teenage years, who spent quite a lot of time with him, refuses to believe them, and acts defensive when Berstetz suggests that there may be things about Vincent that Chisha doesn't know. After all, Vincent always made sure to never even share a bedroom with a woman so that no one could create such rumors. There's no way Vincent could have had children without Chisha knowing.

Serena, who has unsuccessfully tried seducing Vincent before, explicitly mentions the possibility of his being gay to his face, even though she already knows the reason is something else. Vincent doesn't deny that (nor react to it in any way for that matter), by the way.

Only 3-4 chapters after that conversation with Serena happens, we're shown Chisha's backstory and motives. Surprise, what we thought was betrayal at first is actually part of a secret, elaborate plan to save Vincent from his prophesied death. They face each other "at a distance so close their eyelashes could touch" right before Chisha sacrifices himself while gazing one last time at his beloved liege with a "decadent smile" on his lips.

"Why?" Vincent asks the corpse more than once, well aware that it won't reply. This is Vincent, the man who'd rather keep his mouth shut if he has nothing useful to say. And what's more useless than directing a question to a corpse?

Later, Vincent, on the verge of a breakdown, asks Subaru, whom he suspects to be a Stargazer, why he let Chisha die instead of him. Vincent had accepted his death. But that's not what Chisha wanted. "He was angry that fate intended to kill you, and also angry at you for surrendering to fate." Now it's Vincent's turn to stand up to fate. That's what Chisha would've loved to see.

Then Tappei introduces an arranged marriage plot between Vincent and Medium to pretend he didn't just write the gayest thing in Re:Zero.

[inkblackorchid]

Yusei built her a duel runner from scratch, from scraps, because of course he did

2. They upgraded it for her all together!!!!!!!!!!

Look at how happy they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look at how happy she is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They are ALL friends and I love them so much!!!

[skeletalheartattack]

...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe

yuuuump always been behind me

[cryptidafter]

if Oom was my sister, we'd have to fight, idc lol

[whentommymetalfie]

Do you intend to do whumptober again this year? Even just a few days of it? Would make so many readers beyond happy!!!

I hope you have a great weekend!♥️

Yes I am! I don't know yet how many fics there'll be, but I've already drafted two so we'll see where I land. So I do hope people are ready for more of my favorite content (aka Tommy being generally miserable and injured). I'm really excited to get into some one shots after working on a long project so intensely.

Thank you for your kind message, I'm really glad to know you're excited for some whumptober stuff ❤️

[aeolianblues]

I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life

[lord-squiggletits]

I was at a "making friends" kind of social event just this past week and ended up having two subsequent conversations with different people that gave me an interesting reflection on my own reasons for writing without me even intending to make the conversation about it.

First conversation: The person talked about the feeling of awe from being at a music concert and how incredible it is that so many complete strangers can be united by a singular love of music. I related to it with regards to my own writing and how many people have read my stuff. Ended up telling this guy about some of the AO3 comments I've gotten from people to the effect of helping motivate them to live/just reflect on life in general. Somehow went into a tangent about a suicidal friend of mine who died when we were in high school, and me saying that maybe the reason I write so much about the things I do is because of the influence his death had on me. And the other person ended up asking me, 'So do you think it's like every time you write, you're doing it in his memory in a way?'

Subsequent conversation was with someone who was a psychologist for a day job, and I ended up telling them that I was kind of thinking of getting a degree in psychology/therapy one day because writing about mental health issues had gotten me so interested in the world of helping people heal themselves. But then I was also like, "Well, I don't know, it could be that I don't need to become a psychologist to help people with mental health. Maybe helping people by being a writer and telling stories is enough."

It was just a surprising, but topical realization for me to have talking to a bunch of strangers. For someone like me who's often preoccupied with doing and having knowledge and expertise, I often fall into the idea that you need to be directly involved in helping people to really be making a difference. I've literally had thoughts in my mind along the lines of "I'm so smart, hardworking, and dedicated when it comes to writing, but wouldn't it have been so much more of a net gain to the world if I'd decided to be this passionate about something like being a doctor or activist that actually helps people?" It's not like I truly regret being a writer (or ever will, because there's nothing else that I love so much), but in my bad moments I truly do sometimes think "Why does it make a difference if I entertain people or make them feel nicer for a while if it doesn't actually change anything in the world?" To quote one of my favorite Transformers fics of all time, "There was nothing that would have been more worthwhile, but that didn't rule out the possibility that the whole damn universe was wasting its time."

I guess the answer is that making someone feel better, even in a small way, is changing the world, even if it's just a few people, and even if it's just as simple as making someone's day better.

[welcometogrouchland]

Going to be completely real with everyone for a second. What do you even do in times like these? How can you not just fall apart with it all? How do you live???

[franky-y]

WIP

[pynkhues]

I'm really sorry you and your sister are dealing with that

(no pressure to publish this, not that there should ever be pressure to publish an ask if you don't want to, of course, but just wanted to say I hope you're doing okay)

Ah, thank you, anon, it's okay. It's been a while now (court moves slooow), but we're getting hopefully close to the end. She filed in Family Court December 2022, and we've had about five interim hearings with final trial (finally) scheduled over four days next month, so fingers crossed! But yeah, it's been A Time. He's financially and emotionally abusive against my sister, and both those things as well as medically negligent against their children (who are only six and eight and both have special needs), so it's been....rough. To say the least.

But on a lighter note, have one of my new favourite photos I took of my nephews at the jellyfish enclosure at the aquarium last month!

[britneyshakespeare]

i can't believe how much this company apparently does not want my money

[uncanny-tranny]

I've been reflecting on some interactions I've had with cis medical professionals, and I actually have a ton of criticisms about the ways they treated my transness, if you could imagine (sarcasm intended).

I've found that a lot of care, primarily in mental health, was almost afraid of my transness. Cis mental health professional almost treated my transness and my dysphoria as their personal kryptonite, and any time I mentioned how awful my dysphoria made me feel, I felt shut down or almost gaslit by their responses. They focused on everything but the primary issue, which before I medically transitioned was my dysphoria, so it doesn't surprise me that I didn't make any progress towards anything, really. Most of the things I have learned about dysphoria were on my own as a kid, no less.

When I transitioned how I needed, I could finally feel ready to tackle other issues because dysphoria really overshadowed everything else. I'm ready for the trauma therapy my many cis doctors insisted upon when I wasn't ready. I feel the care I did recieve at that time though was minimal at best, and had this air of gaslighting me and making me question if I truly was worthy of care because the issues I had weren't being treated.

My advice, ultimately, for cis professionals is to let your trans patients lead the care they get. If a trans person comes in specifically for dysphoria, then you should help them with that. Some trans people will not want you to mention dysphoria, and for those trans people, it would be a good idea to let them initiate those conversations. Don't treat trans patients like lab rats or that you know how to treat dysphoria or even their transness better than they do. I'm sorry, but some of the worst professionals I have had have had the attitude that I was a lab rat on dysphoria and that they simultaneously could lead the discussion (even when they admitted they don't have a clue about what they are doing).

I think cis professionals can treat their trans patients well, which is why I am so critical of them. I know cis people can understand trans people and show compassion to us, it is not inherent to cis people to be transphobic. The only barrier is willingness to learn, willingness to show compassion.