#but he doesnt like gf AT ALL like ‘im sorry girl but im gay’ and shes pretty cool with it cause shes with bf/keith

[evb0]

procrastinating so u guys get my hatchetverse hcs!!! (these are going to be a lot of shit i picked up from random posts that i dont remeber the ops of so sorry if u made one of these hcs and i dont credit you i love you sorry) ethan green

probably like 23? 25?

hes actually bi he told me himself

afab he/they boyflux sue me

lex is his first and only gf. he's probably had like one bf before but he loves lex sm more (simp) (malewife to her girlboss basically)

orphan sorry i dont make the rules

his dad left like immedately and his mom passed of old age when he was like 17 idk

hannah is basically his little sister. he'd die 4 her actually.

ted spankoffski

like late 20s early 30s at the most ithink

so painfully thirsty for anyone he has to be pan

amab he/him but doesnt really give a fuck

has never had a partner thats so sad. he makes up for this by constantly acting like everybody wants him. they dont. (exepct for me i love him)

doesnt really have a CRUSH on anyone speific but mark chastity is his fav to tease (sorry im a baby for holy bastard)

him and petes parents love them but theyre kinda like.. oblivious and absent. like theyre always on trips and leaving pete to live w ted

max jagerman

im not gonna list all of the teens' age theyre all 16-18

im assimilating with this one he/she pronouns amab

hes omni he told me himself pref 2 women

everybody wants him he only wants the nerd (hes just like me fr)

he isnt dead shut up shut up sHUT UP HES FINE OKAY

his dad is not good his mom died in childbirth

stephanie lauter

genderqueer. they/she/he in order of pref. also uses xe/xir idc sue me

pan thats cannon she told me xirself

does tiktok dances but really badly on purpose

the biggest simp on earth to her one guy and nobody ese

will fluster the living hell out of pete in public for fun

hates being the mayors daughter, feels alienated bcs of it

pete spankoffski

he/they afab i dont make the rules

bi if you argue youre homophobic (/J)

actually loves his big bro but acts like he doesnt bcsaude is ted hears him looking up ted he'll never hear the end of it

nickname seymour from ruth (bcause lsoh)

ex-brony

richie whateverhislastnameis

afab he/xe/nya/zap he would have so many cool neos. one of those people whos neo list is longer than the bill of rights

gay mlm yes

undertale enjoyer

nge enjoyer

discord mod in an anime server

owns several body pillows

xem and ruth have been friends since pre-k so they know eachother like the back of their hand

ruth whateverherlastnameis

afab she/they

omni large large large pref to girls. likes a few boys sorta

biggest theatre kid ever but sucks at acting and singing (the curse)

got ensemble ONCE and cried at the cast list

fav show is heathers

heather m kin i dont make the rules

grace chastity

afab she/her

bi

liked a girl once and cried for a week str8 abt going 2 hell

i dont have alot of hcs for her but i think she would like fire a large amount

not even arson wise but like

a firebug

tinky

i already made my hcs for all the LiBs' true forms so go find those if you want

all the libs dont give a fuc about pronouns call them whatever

i do he/him tho

tinky is really just a 13 yr old girl freaking out abt one specific guy (ted) and making fucked up fanfics with him (time bastard nmt)

the "youngest" of the siblings

boy jerry

i beleive that every character jon plays is related. boy jerry is pauls fucked up brother. which means hes also richies uncle

[gailytine]

It is time, yet again, to create another bitch

[vanana-r0tat3]

some pre-game batim headcanons :>

Henry: - all he does is eat hot chip be bisexual and lie /j - has a preference for women so i think him realizing hes not straight is like hey wait a minute hey wait wait - joey was his gay awakening,,, real -gets burnout super easy, it probably frustrates him a lot when he cant draw - drawing is a big comfort for him - has pretty bad social anxiety, but has become pretty good at dealing with it!

Joey: - gay. this man is not into women at all sorry 💀 "i just dont have time for girls" yeah sure fruitcake - watch me project once again and give this man bpd. like im sorry his whole thing with henry?? im not even explaining it but if you get it you get it yea - also definitely has adhd - wheelchair user !! he is able to walk, but he still needs the wheelchair when flare ups get real bad. he is stubborn though and refuses to use it at work or when hes out of the house

more under the cut !!

Wally: - he has adhd, obviously - transgender !! i feel like hes a gnc binary trans man - hes straight to me, but his gf/wife is also trans >:D t4t win - i feel like he likes to gossip. the thought of him, norman, shawn, maybe even jack whispering to eachother in a corner about some random secrets theyve overheard is super funny to me

Sammy: - AUTISM... hes autistic - gets overwhelmed and overstimulated super easily, hence why hes always so irritable - yknow what im giving him bipolar. hes my comfort character and i get to project my mental illness !! - hes gay and demiromantic - honestly? transfem i see it. bc like im thinking about how he talks about susies singing like. i know what you are - bad with boundaries.. he is so bad at them and reading social cues - hates being touched, probably is only comfortable with jack for the most part - watch him crush on like half the men mentioned in this post at least once

Norman: - hes also autistic. his sense of humor is so??? 😭 - HES ALSO DEFINITELY AN OLDER GAY GUY. he just has that energy yknow like if you agree - probably would be agender too - him and sammy are that incompatible type of autism havers does this make sense?? like some autistic people i just cant stand because of my autism, our places on the spectrum make it so hard to like them yk? thats norman and sammy - this man definitely has insomnia

Susie: - lesbian. she doesnt know it yet but she is - her calling sammy handsome isnt her being attracted to him its just gender envy 😁 - shes just a feminine transmasc 👍 - rejection sensitive dysphoria out the ASS my poor girl - very insecure deep down, so she overcompensates for it by trying to be a people pleaser n stuff

Allison: - shes bisexual !! has a strong preference for women - shes a trans woman idc idc i love her - AUTISTIC AS HELL - i imagine she had a sibling like relationship with joey - probably one of the few people that could tell him off without like. getting fired lol

Buddy: - adhd and autism,, special intrest in art/drawing - AROACE. the stuff he says about his friendship with dot?? "i didnt know we could just be friends" and him not being too into his first assumption when she pulls him away to show him the bendyland model?? yea - honestly i think he has social anxiety hes doing his best - hes very sensitive over people bringing up him being jewish, he seems so ready to be made fun of or scorned for it :( - definitely some cultural detachment because of it (im projecting again) - i think dot would wanna learn about about it, buddy should teach her stuff!! like traditions and whatnot

Tom: - asexual 👍 - TRANSGENDER. probably would be nonbinary, heavily masc leaning though - he smokes a lot have you heard this man good lord. i dont think allison is a fan of it - anger issues,, mostly caused by stress and a lack of sleep, hes trying his best :( - he has arthritis. hes not old but god do his joints fee like it. he has crutches !! like joey though he only really uses em at home 💀

Jack: - wheelchair user jack my BELOVED idk where the hc came from but im all for it - he cant walk, but is able to get around just fine! watch him try and do wheelies to impress sammy only to almost fall over - 100% autistic as well. him and sammy are able to be autism together - unlabeled aromantic - hes such a loser /loving

Grant: - poor guy gets chronic headaches someone give him some painkillers - hes got generalized anxiety disorder this man cannot get a break - demisexual and demiromantic,, mans is double demi

Shawn: - adhdtism 😭 - LOVES to talk, he could go on for hours dude - i feel like he knows a lot of ridiculously obscure knowledge. for why? dont worry about it - he gives me genderfluid vibes - literally just some guy

[nyxi-pixie]

BUCKLE UP BASTARDS THE CLOWN CAR IS IN GO MODE

ok i KNOW im reaching here dont tell me but

is it too out of line to say that will looking to mike for how to deal w snowball girl lowkey parallels mike looking to will for how to deal with el😭😭😭

like (sorry in advance for shit gifs i made them in like 5 mins flat okay)

oh dear a crisis! how should we respond to this woman???? we dont know😟😟

ah a masterplan has formed i shall take advice from my best bropal!!

that worked so well i will now follow said advice only bc they gave it to me while they look sadly on bc theyve just fucked over their own chances in the name of doing what they think is best for me (and/or others)😁😁😁

and obviously these scenarios vary A FUCK TON in how serious they are. like obviously els like straight up passing away so thats yk a lil more high stakes. but like reaction wise???

thats. they. they just naturally respond to each others 'wtf do i do' moments by reassuring each other. which is so🥰 i love them theyre so attuned to each other

BUT ALSO they react by encouraging each other to pursue straight relationships. bc when it comes to their feelings for each other theyre both fucking stupid but also very self sacrificial. obviously we see this more with will. bc like. ofc we do that boy fr hates himself like

this man is fully ready to throw out every chance possible w mike to keep the milkvan on the road. (hes literally their mechanic. like without him it wld have fully exploded and all the mouldy milk wouldve just gone all over the road and probably really screwed up the local ecosystem. ok the van analogy is going too far im so sorry back on topic.) and i think this Is definitely motivated by a care for mike and a genuine want for him to be happy (no matter who he finds that happiness with) But i think its also important to realise that mike isnt the only one with internalised homophobia.

wills insistence on mike loving el despite the fact that mike has implied otherwise to wills face several times kinda shows that wills mindset on this is partially based in the whole "he Needs to stay in his safe straight relationship bc otherwise i would have a chance (in that mike wouldnt be restrained by having a gf and thus wld be able to date other people) and that would just be so terrible and awful"

and we literally see him do this. mike is going to this man basically being like 'omg our relationship is so broken i dont think we can come back from this fight Will!! u Definitely shldnt tell me to break up w her or anything that would be so crazyyy😁😁(PLS TELL ME TO BREAK UP W HER PLS I DONT LOVE HER)' and wills just like "🙃😁yeah um u can tell her u love her when we see her again😁😁😥😥😥😥😥😥"

like i know we joke abt will being the reason melvin are together. but. he literally is. bc mike honestly seems (n maybe this is just my insane delulu interpretation) like he wants to break up w her and was looking for support on that decision from will. and els on her slay arc which is why she doesnt give a singular shit abt mikes cringe monologue. will fr the only one invested in microdickvan because hes Intentionally Sabotaging his chances w mike.

which brings me to the actual fucking parallel bc MIKE DOES THE SAME FUCKING THING AT THE SNOWBALL. he pushes will into accepting a dance w a girl bc then he doesnt have to keep thinking abt how He wants to dance w will. (and we know he does bc he and dustin are sat there with Identical 'my crush is dancing w someone else😥' faces. so like. rip to mike but his very intelligent foolproof plan of not thinking abt dancing w will absolutely flopped)

anyway both of them have the exact same 'if i push bestie into relationships w women then i will magically resolve my gay feelings and not have to confront them' mindset. i think people forget that will Does sabotage himself a lot just bc we always talk abt mikes internalised issues. like will canonically thinks of himself as a mistake and thinks he deserves to get treated like shit🙃🙃🙃

anyway this kind of makes the whole shit writing point of making will the 'sad gay boy pushing for the love of his life to have a happy straight relationship' make sense in a way that isnt totally awful. the diffused shitbags could never.

[commander-gloryforge]

(@commanderhorncleaver) Number 15 for everybody uwu

EVERYBODY??? zthats like 50 people. more i think. okay. get ready. some of these characters im gonna name tumblr hasnt even seen yet.

How Gay Are They?

im going by age of the character btw. lets fucking go.

Azura: gay :) so gay that she gave her lover her only weapon so that she could protect herself

Dio: hey thats me!! it's a lesbian :) super gay

Sophia: lesbian in the magical girl way

Mina: normal (aroace) but their best friend is gay :)

Carry: heterosexual

Léa: PROBLEMATIC BISEXUAL

Brum: gay for every gender :)

Jue: also a problematic bisexual but with more glitter

Lysania: unproblematic bisexual :) gay as in happy :)

Violett: WOMEN WANT XEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naymarin: GAY FROM BEFORE THEY WERE BORN. so gay. met his gf in the dream. lesbianism in her veins.

Aurora: she doenst have much time to be gay but if she gets her hands on the gay feelings then thousands of people will die :)

Raja: normal amount of gay. pretty regular.

Mirella: SOOOOOOOOO GAY. gets hit in the face with the lesbianism.

Dergroße Winschenzo: there is no word that could hold the power of dergroße winschenzos love. he is all.

Temmie: hardcore femme lesbian. full of GAY!!! and also evil sometimes

Lilly: i dont know :)

Rosalind: bisexual lighting when she was born.

Dean: gay and likes it when men are very mean to him

Corra: very gay but forgets it sometimes because the love she has for the eternal alchemy is stronger than any attraction.

Lucius: 11/10 on the gay scale and it should scare you

Vita: if gay means happy then she is the gayest :) if gay means liking women then thats also correct

Ophelia: she has no time being gay shes too busy being scared

Tora: i think a pretty normal amount of gay. i think rather regular. i think normal.

Rebekka: gay but in a very secretive evil but halfway through redemption kind of way

Eryn: the only thing they attract is unstable fractals :) theres no gay

Narcissa: i am too scared to ask but that old evil face sure looks gay

Jisoo: lesbiab :)

Iira: gay and would commit warcrimes for its lover. (has no lover but wants one so she can commit warcrimes for them)

Ninyann: what is a gay :) doesnt know anything sorry

Indigo: gay and embarassingly so. hey stop looking at jisoo there is a bear mauling you. hey. he

Alastor: proper amount of gay. may not have realised it yet.

Frost: frost is the representation of (one of) my genders so i think they should be the same amount of gay as me. i think theyre gay in the way being a pretty guy in a wedding dress with frost bite is gay. gay in the way finding you best friend dead in a field of pansies covered with purple blood and vines piercing their heart is gay. i th

Dazii: makes bombs. i think thats pretty gay

Astrid: god created bisexuality for her

Yoonsu: fighting his demons (homosexuality)

Thyrynn: gay in a sitting in a library and reading about forgotten legends way

Izzy: OUGHHHHHHHHHH CRITICAL HIT!!!! GAY!!!!!

Nadira: you wabt to know if shes gay? you want to know? when shes wearing the clothing of her gf at all times? when she has made an effort to learn everything about her gfs culture and history that she can find? you want to know if nadira is gay??? how gay she is???? take a guess. go on take a guess. how gay is she, hm?? how gay

Hilda: she was made to be my gfs characters gf. she exists only to be a lesbian. its her one destiny.

Rhea: *writes love songs about her crush* *cries after concert because girl in the audience was too pretty* *talks to ghosts about being too in love to function*

Junko: not only are they lesbian but they also have two gay people in their HEAD which adds up.

Darryean: cowboy

Rian: studies astrology. he looks at the stars and goes "oh youre a libra :/" thats gay

Kyandri: hey shes just a little shroomie :) she doesnt know how gay she is :) a lot probably

Ambrose: VAMPIRE!!!! BITES MEN!!!!! IN THE NECK!!!!!!!!!

Kaari: average bisexual

Daeonna: i dont know if shes gay but judging by how mean she is.... probably

Aryel: do you want an essay do you want a fucking ewsay on how gay he is. do you want that. do you want me to describe in detail how gay he is. how he felt when he met his lover for the first time. his emotions. his admiration. his pure beatiful love. do you want to read into every last bit of aryel lore and figure out how fucking gay he is. do you think you can handle that??? i dont think so. oh let me show you how fucking gay aryel is alright lket me show yo

Soleil: canach liker (gay)

Prima: the word lesbian was created for her HEY!!!!!!!!!!!! gay girl. get a grip.

[pluviophile-imagines]

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...

-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.

-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!

-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.

-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.

-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.

-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.

-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.

-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...

-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.

-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.

I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.

-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.

-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???

-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'

-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.

-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!

-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...

-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.

-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.

-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)

-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way

-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.

-tucker singing > my singing

-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.

-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.

-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!

-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.

-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.

-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3

-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3

-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af

-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.

[holdinghandswithastatue]

my thoughts on the lorien legacies reborn series [spoilers]

i think it sucked

sorry

i loved most of the characters to bits and they all deserved better (in terms of characterisation, plot)

nigel. oh my god nigel i love him so much

ran takeda deserved SO MUCH BETTER im still mad

the way they hinted at a whole bunch of romances but only made the one i dont give a shit about canon

i really really hate white girl taylor cook

yes, having a white american girl as the main character IS diversity :))))))

isabela is cool as shit and i wish i was her

i love their fleshed out backstories but i wish i couldve heard more

THERE WAS LITERALLY NO DEVELOPMENT IN MOST OF THEM (personally i think the series was cut short bc they all had so much more room to grow)

(it gave off percy jackson movies energy)

it hurts me how the writing hinted that nigel would get his heroic moment but he literally never did 

and then nigel was left with what? his only best friend dead, his parents corrupt assholes and him still not having healed from his trauma- still the underdog

ALSO: NIGEL WAS THE ONLY CANONICALLY GAY CHARACTER (except for maybe daunphen but still that doesnt really count bc its only implied) but they just like. didnt give him a love interest. 

nic was literally right there- that homoerotic moment really hit me and i just read it over and over

ran’s death was really well done but also COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE

if isabela had just told einar to stfu and shoot lucas it wouldve all been over and ran and five would still be alive 

speaking of which, ran and five were a super cute couple/friendship i cant tell but i like their dynamic a lot

five saying that he “actually likes” ran is essentially a confession of love in his terms

caleb. i liked him. but he was so boring and straight. i think his development wouldve been great if they just DID SOMETHING WITH HIM

also idk whether to ship isabela with caleb or daunphen but personally i like to think of daunphen as trixic which is unrelated

caleb literally. had potential. troubled home life. not as bad as the others but he never really stopped being an uptight little bitch

if he had, i think he wouldve been great

I LOVED EINAR’S GROUP’S DYNAMIC

do they have a name? i feel like they do but i cant remember

like... what a mix of characters, i love how they work together

personally i think theyre just the gay friend group

on the topic of einar,

i KNOW i shouldnt love him the way i do but if you didnt want me to love him you SHOULDNT HAVE GIVEN HIM REDEEMING QUALITIES

(same with five)

literally einar’s final monologue hurt me so much even though he nearly did drown nigel in gen 1 but still

“will you- will you finally listen?” yea kill me now 

i really hated how they brought the villain in in the final book. the fuck. who even gives a shit about lucas. no one remembers him

also it feels slightly political to make the main villain a radical christian who wants to convert the earth garde by killing them

listen i could talk about einar all day

i think he and isabela were a great friendship... of sorts

i mean did einar ever really let anyone close enough to him to make friends

but hes just so... S O F T

no hes not 

but he is to me 

ew

kopano really deserved a better gf than taylor

god 

also i wanted to see more of miki

again i will reiterate i think nic and nigel wouldve made a great couple

i keep forgetting theyre all just teenagers and thats kinda painful

einar was just a kid bro 

SO MUCH NUANCE TO HIS CHARACTER THAT WAS NOT EXPLORED

so much potential

hmm am i forgetting anyone?

lets talk about john smith

that man has a hero complex and its really annoying and part of me is really glad he wasnt the one to save the day this time but also i didnt want ran to die so

i think it wouldve been fitting if einar just ended it all since he kinda started the whole fiasco

fuck bea barnaby and her homophobic (and also mass-murdering) ass

the john and marina thing shouldve been forgotten completely no one ships them pls 

they had their one true loves just let them be without an s/o thanks

ella deserved to have more screen (? its a book) time bc she was my favourite character in the original series

OH MY GOD I HAVENT TALKED ABOUT NINE YET

hes the loml

also the part where lucas (in the body of john) rips off his cybernetic arm really hurt me

i kinda wish taylor died instead of ran

kill off the heroic white girl instead: the fifth wave style

john is such a stupid selfish bastard honestly but having a hero complex a valid flaw but still. i cannot deal with his bullshit all the time

writing one line on john and nine reuniting was cruel when you know most of the fandom ships them

also i like einar’s softening up near the end, and treating the group like they were his actual friends 

i wish we couldve seen more of them

i love myself a found family ragtag group situation

even though 2 of them died 

and the other has an inhibitor in his head, gets shocked every 3 minutes and took the fall for everyone

AS HE SHOULD THOUGH, MOST OF IT IS HIS FAULT

but hes just a kid

my thoughts are so scattered

omg stop i think i relate to einar... no..... not the literal mass murderer “terrorist” psychopath

he’s uptight and always needing to be in control

but he feels the pressure of having to be perfect to everyone else, and thus falls apart on the inside

gosh i wish i didnt love einar the way i do

final thoughts (but i’ll probably add even more): ran :’( nigel :( taylor >:( caleb :| einar :’( isabela >:) daunphen :D john :|

i hope no one reads this

[marsixm]

edit sorry this post is both long (if the readmore fails i am truly truly sorry) & longwinded im just reflecting and thinking; (another edit: u can probably just read the tl dr and get it)

anyway allow me to spin some very personally based theory here for a mo while i put off/warm my fingers up from the cold in preparation to email my therapist

so growing up i had, i think only, het ships, but i never quite had the ones you were (narratively speaking) “supposed to” have

in most media i recall when i was a kid, there were like, 2 diff structures of character romance plot arcs in media i consumed, there was the main lead and 2 best friends model, where thered be the star of the show who had outside romantic leads and the 2 best friends (who were always a boy and a girl) would have their secondary romance, OR there were ensemble shows where there was a more clear romance set up between the main boy and main girl, then side characters whod pair off in whatever ways ended up happening. in the first, see: hannah montana, the second, see: zoey 101. obv this isnt a hard rule and there were loads of exceptions but like, lets just say i tended not to care for the romances set up for the main girls in the trio models, or quite as hard for the main boy and girl in the ensembles, and in general if there was an obvious romance between two leads i either didnt care or outright hated it

basically i never liked the ships they set up for us in straight media, as a kid (namely, a girl) i liked being that “ew pink!” “i hate valentines day” sort of contrarian, but what i remember actually disliking was the predictability of it, because i clearly still shipped characters, so it wasnt /really/ that i hated romance, per se

looking back on it i think it was probably or at least to a degree more like that i hated the hetero expectation of it- i can nit pick down to more specific examples of why i disliked the main pairings (kataang, for example, i thought was weird bc katara acted like a mother/older sister figure to aang, and i didnt feel like there was romance between them at all except where it felt shoehorned in) - maybe it was also that i thought it made more sense for a main character to be with someone they clearly already spent a lot of time with and not some random new hot boy in town (i very distinctly remember shipping miley and oliver on hannah montana, and i believe that was the first time i ever read fanfiction @ age like... 11 lol) as is often the case w like these things.

theres another level to this though, which is that i notice i tended to ship characters who were more vaguely similar to each other, like, physically (ie, similar heights, or hair colors mainly) obviously this is funny now since my main pairing is johnlock which is such a physically different ship we can construct them from basic shapes and colors and theyre still recognizable as who they are, but i have some thoughts about this- but i think there might be two interesting things about this again in retrospect

first of all, this sounds silly ik, but shipping the vaguely similar ones as a child’s way of queering heterosexuality is an interesting concept and not that difficult, like, two boys are also vaguely similar to each other in a similar way a boy and a girl with the same hair color and height might be, which is something i thought of a while ago

the other way in which this is really interesting to me now, that i think might have been more actually pertinent to myself as a trans child, is that i think i shipped the characters i did in an attempt to morph the concept of boy and girl? to find the boy counterpart to every girl??? that second one makes more sense actually. anyway, i digress

2 start off i definitely had gender feelings starting from a very young age so i think these observations ring more true than just reflections, PERHAPS

so the first thing i remember shipping, ie wanting them to be together, thinking about it an inordinate amount of time outside watching the films, even imagining them eating ice cream together in their pjs (i was NINE DHFJGghfkg) was jack sparrow & elizabeth swan from potc (basically my franchise of choice as a kid bc i never read harry potter) now this doesnt quite fit the “visually similar” thing bc actually orlando bloom looks more like kiera knightly and is prob due to them like making out in one movie, but i think this works for the “shipping as gender expression” theory, because elizabeth swan dressed up as a boy, spent most of that movie wearing boy’s clothes, etc- meanwhile jack was a wacky pirate which like hello duh i’d want to be. so i wonder if beyond the fact that they kissed and flirted, there was something to this concept of me wanting two characters to be together, meant i wanted to marry together two conceptual things happening with two characters, or absorb the cool dude and the boyish girl characters into each other to make one whole archetype for myself? i likewise shipped aang and toph (toph who, normally doesnt really have anyone to be shipped with, since she likes sokka but he has a gf) who we all know is the VERY boyish girl character, so boyish im p sure her actually being a trans dude later in life is a p decently accepted headcanon (i dont actually delve into aatla fandom though so i can only hope) 

another thing about this ship thing, is most of my ships had brown hair (like miley and oliver), just like i always have, and in certain cases the girl character would look a LOT like me (i also shipped logan and quinn on zoey 101, which to my surprise n delight actually came true later (although looking back im like... 11 yr old me is glad they made out a lot but adult me is like uhhh why were the kids on this show making out a lot? anyway thats another issue) and i def was a weirdo girl with glasses and long brown wavy hair) which sort of further fuels my feeling that this was an attempt by my brain to do 1 of 2 things, if my own involvement really was a greater motivating factor in this thing, 1. ship MYSELF with a boy (which is like def possible for my gay kinnie ass, but not quite my thesis here) or 2. morph these boy and girl counterparts by imagining them together, seeing them together, etc

for example, i realize now, when i was a kid i drew an avatar sona for myself and said sona looked an awful lot like how id imagine a katara/zuko fusion would be, and the fact that i shipped zutara (very hard lol) was what lead me down this thought path rn

i feel like even to me this concept sounds weird and far fetched but like, gem fusion made enough sense for someone to write with its clearly, usually, romantic implications and we all “get” that, so whom knows???

another thing ive noticed while writing this is for a good few of these ships you can argue the boys in them can be read gay, like jack sparrow and zuko and aang, which feels even more strongly like me trying to marry my gay boy feelings to my tomboy realities [thinking emoji]

the biggest reason i think this makes sense to me is because when i was 10 i became obsessed with the idea that this boy i was friends with and i were secretly twins separated at birth, like i was so into the concept that we looked alike, i like hoped and wished so hard for it to be true, i wished a christmas miracle would happen for fucking real and a magic door in my house would open and be his new room and itd all work out perfectly! and you might think this was a manifestation of my difficulties with my family and wishing to leave it, but in my dream world my parents were still my parents and he came to live with us- which makes me think the obsession of ME looking like this BOY was a manifestation of my gender feelings, which i think can maybe be traced to this concept of pairing a visually similar, possibly gay, brunette boy to every brunette and/or tomboyish girl

anyway. if you actually read all of this id love it if you lmk somehow (doesnt need to be a like) like this is clearly very long and strange but i hope it makes sense. i think i stop myself a lot from ever commenting on gender or theory or whatever but i am a living breathing trans person who has experienced things and i have opinions and i dont think im claiming anything destructive with this lol i think its not unusual to reflect on the way you interacted with the world as a gay/trans kid

also im obviously not saying that shipping straight things is somehow inherently queer, im not trying to retroactively claim something about straight ships, like, those two characters are still functionally straight, and i definitely also shipped probably all of them for normal shipping reasons (although, kid ones, so less “oh theres a lot of ACTUAL romantic subtext between these two” but rather “oh theyre friends and would be cute together!” (or like they kissed and i was like O: )) but im just trying to theorize about something its possible my tiny trans brain was trying to express- and who knows maybe im not the only one!

anyway i guess the TL;DR is: when i was a kid i had a lot of “unconventional” straight ships- i already observed that i eschewed the main canon pairings in kids media in what was probably my tiny baby brains rejection of hetero culture, but i also actively shipped side characters who looked like me, and also looked like each other (ie, both tall and brunette, a boy and girl counterpart of Each Other) OR characters who seemed to be a gayish boy and a tomboyish girl, and im theorizing that maybe the reason that was was my tiny trans brain wanting to gem fusion those two together because of my Gender Feelings and fuse the boy with the girl and this desire manifested in shipping therefore thinking about a lot these pairings of boy and girl counterparts

[todays-jeremy-heere]

Recap Post

So I’ve had a couple requests for what the fuck has happened so far from newer people to our dandy set of blogs, here it is! Keep in mind this is all mostly improv so if it’s a bit all over the place then oops lol rip. (Older people and other today blogs, feel free to yell at me if I miss anything.) 

NOW INCLUDING LINKS TO CERTAIN IMPORTANT THREADS

The three not main characters in the bmc group are:

Madeline, Thalia (George’s character from Smartphone Hour), and Dustin Kropp

Let’s start at the beginning, a very good place to start :)

So the first activity of these blogs is nothing special, just silly conversations, teasing each other, and because no one is together yet, flirting. But eventually, people pair up so those people are...

Brooke x Rich, Michael x Jake and Dustin x Jeremy

Thalia asks Jeremy and Mr Heere if she can move into their house because she has an abusive father she wants to get away from, they say yes and now she lives with them. Sometime after this Thalia pairs up with Madeline. 

Jake and Chloe keep having childish arguments because they are both still salty about thier past relationships. Jake brings up how Chloe sexually assaulted Jeremy at the Halloween party last year. Tension happens between Chloe and Jeremy where they both think the other hates them.

After a bit Thalia and Madeline break up, this causes Thalia to spiral and she gets a Squip. She is very clearly not ok and whenever anyone tries to reason with her she says she doesn’t need help because she’s perfect. Then, of course, it goes wrong because it always does and she starts threatening to murder Jeremy, whenever Dustin tries to scare her off she does the same to him. There’s a massive completely improvised fight scene at Jeremy’s house (we were all freaking out on the mod discord lol), in which Chloe gets a concussion, Rich nearly gets murdered and Thalia tries to force feed Jeremy Mountain Dew Green...

When everyone wakes up the next day you have some cute shipping junk between some of the couples since their SO was nearly killed. Chloe and Jeremy realise they both don’t hate each other because they actually TALK TO EACH OTHER TO FIGURE SHIT OUT.

Meanwhile, Chloe and Madeline have clear romantic chemistry and everyone can see it but them, they ‘fake’ flirt and go on ‘fake’ dates while saying ‘I cAn’T POsSibLY sEE HoW ShE cOUld LIkE mE’. It’s cute, we all love it.

But it goes wrong when Chloe says that Madeline should keep some distance from her because she’s scared of whatever’s going on between them and that obviously hurts Madeline because they have become really close friends since the blogs started. Madeline spirals like Thalia did and gets a squip, but this time only Chloe is there to help her. Dustin was going to help but Jeremy keeps saying that he can’t go and he’s scared and he doesn’t want ‘this’ so being a good boyfriend, Dustin tries to help him. Jeremy just tells him there’s nothing wrong and Dustin should go help, Chloe. Dustin doesn’t like being left in the dark so he goes (unhappily) but he doesn't get there in time to help Chloe (I SWEAR THIS IS IMPORTANT LATER, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179026525980/jeremy-whats-going-on-why-are-people-saying-i). So Chloe and Madeline have a fight scene and Squip!Madeline loses. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179030653474/listen-up-you-tic-tac-bitch-chloe)

When Maddie is in the hospital with her you get some really cute lesbian time with Chloe talking to a sleeping Madeline and what not its cute. https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179068636659/14102018

Eventually, the two of them (FINALLY) get together <3

Meanwhile, Jeremy’s mental state is getting obviously worse (posts with crossed out text, talking to ‘himself’, stuttering more, ect ect.) but whenever anyone tries to see what’s wrong he gets very defensive to the point of being kinda rude.

Dustin tries to get him to open up one final time, Jeremy says some stuff he shouldn’t have and Dustin breaks up with him, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179194061640/101818 (Note, Dustin was completely justified and not an asshole, Jeremy was hurting both of them. https://todays-dustin-kropp.tumblr.com/post/179194994713/seriously) This sends both of them into a bad place where Dustin is pretty empty and Jeremy is panicky and defensive (and it's very obvious his squip has reactivated, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179216021025/this-is-your-fault-n-no-he-deserves-better-than ).

Chloe and Dustin are good friends so she and him help each other out with their shit its sweet.

Whenever people try to help Jeremy he lashes out and gets very defensive. It’s very obvious at this point that during the fight with Thalia he was squipped, he talks to himself and flinches at nothing, but whenever anyone accuses him of that he adamantly denies it. He refuses to drink mountain dew red.

Chloe tries to talk to him but he yells at her and when she calls him out he starts stuttering an apology and she goes ‘Jesus stop stuttering like that.' This is the wrong thing to say to someone who spent almost a year of their life shocked whenever the speech impediment that they cannot control showed itself. Jeremy gets fucking pissed, obviously. (https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179285070845/hey-uh-ive-checked-up-on-dustin-but-how)

Madeline sends him a ‘not so friendly suggestion’ to not shout at her girlfriend. When Jeremy says how she commented on his stuttering Madeline mocks him with a fake stutter and is no help whatsoever. She says she’s sorry that they care enough to ask him what’s wrong. Jeremy has asked multiple times that they treat him like they usually do, even when he’s going through a bad time because he wants one constant thing so he says ‘If you cared about me you’d leave me alone.’ (https://todays-madeline-monroe.tumblr.com/post/179286238797/hey-unfriendly-demand-dont-fucking-yell-at-my)

Jeremy gets worse, anons try giving him an intervention, doesn't work. Chloe tries apologizing but she accidentally makes Jeremy have a mental breakdown which is always fun.

Meanwhile, Thalia finds out that a guy from her English and PE classes got her pregnant. Her mum also died, Chloe is very supportive to her and lends her a dress for the funeral. She generally isn’t having a very good time right now but everyone she knows is being so nice to her and she’s very grateful. (https://todays-thalia-mcarthy.tumblr.com/post/179404119923/hey-i-need-to-borrow-a-dress-for-my-mothers)

In preparation for Jake’s party, Dustin lets Jake know that he’s allergic to red food dye so that it isn’t in any of the food and Dustin doesn’t need to go to the HOSPITAL.

Jeremy and Chloe made up, Jeremy apologises for yelling and Chloe apologises for commenting on his stutter. They end up hugging and Chloe lets him know that even though he wants to be left alone she’s still there for him, when Jeremy starts replying with an explanation of why he can't really talk about it his squip shocks him. Rather than freaking out Chloe calmly deals with it and Jeremy indirectly confirms that he does indeed have a squip. They establish a code so that they can talk about it, green = its talking, yellow = it shocked me, and red = help. Madeline (who acted a lot worse) still hasn’t apologised and Jeremy is still mad at her. This is the post where this goes down >>> (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179403825299/h-hey-i-im-sorry-for-s-shouting-at-you)

Chloe finally gets Dustin to open up about how he’s feeling because up until this point Dustin has just been taking care of everyone but himself. Dustin accidentally implies he’s a murderer to get Chloe to not call him an ‘egg’ but they resolve it. He isn't a murderer (probably). Chloe is everyone’s mother. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179437193524/someones-been-anonymously-flirting-with-your-ex)

Chloe encourages Dustin to talk to Jeremy and sort their shit out but it goes wrong when Dustin kisses Jeremy twice and Jeremy, who did not consent to that, yeets outta there because he was not ready to do anything like that with Dust bin again and he goes to Chloe’s house and he is obviously upset and he says he feels ‘gross’.

Chloe mother is having none of that shit so she goes to yell at Dustin, she told him to talk to jeremy not to kiss him. Chloe is very mad and not thinking straight (me neither chlo) so she kisses him to try and do a tase of your own medicine type thing but Dustin is just like ‘ew im gay’. Everyone is annoyed at Chloe for this because WHAT THE FUCK CHLOE DO NOT KISS A GAY GUY WHEN YOU ARE A GIRL ESPECIALLY WITHOUT CONSENT.

Madeline, her gf, says that she is terrified of how easily Chloe can hurt people like that and she breaks up with Chloe.

So now Chloe is kinda spiraling but she doesnt get a squip because she’s not AN IDIOT.

Jeremy and Dustin kinda make up, Dustin is obviously extremely sorry and Jeremy gets the circumstances and is way too forgiving in general but yeah. It’s unspoken that they are ok with eachother but they boht kinda silently agree to forget that ever happened and to move past it.

Thalia in general isn’t very mentally ok and she tries to kill herself by jumping off a bridge but Dustin saves her.

AND THAT’S WHERE WE ARE NOW FUCKERS HAVE A NICE DAY.

[rigginsstreet]

so if hals not chics father....and fps not chics father.... then whos flying the plane ???? 

um i need more hal x hermione scenes like yesterday

was bravo’s andy cohen just hiding waiting to make a dramatic entrance? me

SO WHEN IS MARK OR MARISOL SHOWING UP ON WWHL HMM???? ALL DAMN SEASON IVE BEEN WAITING. rude is what it is. omg put them both on. i want them all drunk on live tv right now

kevins gonna grow up to be andy cohen you heard it hear first

fred being concerned about the soul of the south side :’)

“we tell YOU what to do” hooooo my god why do yall pay hiram and hermione DUST my bisexuality cannot handle this theyre so hot

toni that was a striptease not a cheer wtf is anyone on this squad ever doing ever

and like.... every girl in this school wants to be a cheerleader??? fake news

“you go about your business, i go about mine” is essentially the same fucking line fp used back in s1 about him and fred splitting so like.... do with that what you will

this sleepover scene is so cringey lmfao stop

“theres a stranger in my life as well” yeah that you invited im supposed to feel sorry for that bitch? i dont

oh penelopes so homophobic and the heather thing scarred cheryl for life but toni can sleep in her bed ??? bitch bye

ch*ni couldve been great but this stupid fucking plot for how theyre doing it ruined the whole thing so....what else is new

the more murderous penelope gets the hotter she gets. can we cover her in blood at some point that would really get my engines going

like shes in an elegant dress with her hair all done and shes got blood on her face that she wipes with her gloved hand but all it does it smear it even more and she’s got this dark grin on her face.... im wet

“my uncles wearing my fathers pajamas. he pushed my grandma down the stairs” sound logic

the wisest thing jugheads said all season is about being concerned the lodges will close down the only gay bar in riverdale aka the whyte wyrm

what riots? did i miss something? probably. idk what the fuck ever happens on this show lmao

WHY IS FP NEVER FUCKING WORKING WHEN I NEED HIM TO BE BITCH GIVE ME THE FP X MARY SCENE I DESERVE

hermione got her titties all out for her gf mary. bless

i knew we werent gonna get shit with the lodge/andrews sitdown why did i even hope.... i hate this show

hermione in glasses yas queen

how many times are they gonna say war in this episode

chic ratting out betty (i just wrote batty jfc but i mean... yeah) is the best chics ever been

alice you killed a guy maybe nows not the time to pass judgement

there is no way theres 12 burgers in that bag fp cant count

is it raining everywhere except fp and jughead specifically ??? 

OH WOW. FP ACTUALLY REMEMBERED HE HAS A WIFE ? CRAZY. WILD. CANT BELIEVE. SO MAYBE STOP THIS BULLSHIT WITH ALICE YOU FUCK

jughead went to south side high for like 2 days what is he reminiscing about

911 I JUST WITNESSED A FUCKING MURDER !!!! the greatest decision i ever made was coming out of the womb stanning molly ringwald

me imagining fp and alice fucking really just consists of fp being really drunk and crying about fred so... i mean go off i guess

“doesnt it look bad to have grown ups go after teenagers” YEAH, IT DOES. IT REALLY REALLY DOES RAS

fp still calls archie red even when he’s about to beat his ass.... wholesome

FREDERICK, WHERE ART THOU

this is so dramatic i cant

ngl kinda want fred and mary back together they cute. also i want molly ringwald around all the time even if they cant afford her

“come what may” that sounds a bit too much like some foreshadowing for bad shit i uh..... am scared

[misterbitches]

@flootweed ​

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :) 

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess. 

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will. 

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has  a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore  uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it? 

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

 i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

[surprisebitch]

lmao okay so there’s this thirsty guy on instagram.. he like started messaging in like october 2015. and he was really fit. he’s 23 too and like really muscular and really tall.. and at that time, i searched by image on google and he is a real person. he also has pics of him with his face and body and it’s legit.

and TBH his first message was like “hey cutie” with a dick pic and IT WAS MASSIVE. i dont even know how he found me cause he says he’s not on tumblr and the picture he linked when he messaged was an untagged pic.. but he doesnt remember but he found me there. and then i asked him if where is he from and LMAO he lives in London and it’s funny because he messaged like 3 months after i left London so yeah im very lucky right. cause i wouldve definitely hopped on that dick if i was still there. 

but yeah he sent pics and videos so i got to see his dick in different angles and they’re all consistent so it is his dick. and there was even this one photo of his dick next to a mug and IT’S WAY BIGGER THAN THE MUG. LIKE IT’S A GIANT DICK. and then i asked him how big it is and he said it’s 11 inches. and he sent more photos of how like there was one time a bottom could only take half of it and no one was able to deepthroat it cause its so big. and im like OKAY INTERESTING... and he’s a dom top too! which is perf cause im a power bottom and i’m up for a challenge so i entertained him for a while out of boredom and ofc i send back some vids and pics of mine too cause it’s only fair. and this has been going on for like 2 years already BUT not so frequently cause he like messages twice a month or once a month. or every few months.. and tbh i only reply when i literally have nothing else to do and i leave him on “Seen” cause whats the point.. like hello.. i’m in Canada and you’re in London so?? you can grab an ass right there.. why are you messaging me lol. and this guy isnt looking for anything serious, he just wants to fuck and he obvi just messages when he’s super horny like he just sends them when it’s the evening in London or like 2am UK time or early morning

but tbh his messages are a fucking mess cause he’s into like feminising his bottoms. and tbh im not even into that.. BUT i’m the type of guy who’s always up for a challenge and i wanted to put my power bottom skills to the test and take on that 11 inch dick cause that’s like an opportunity that doesnt always happen. so i just black out everytime he uses the word “boy pussy” and the c-word and all of that. cause i mean my masculinity aint that fragile and they’re just words

so anyway, last december 2016 i went to London to visit my family. and i messaged him cause yeah i was ready! but HEY he was away for the duration of my stay cause he was up north in england : ) but yeah i got dicked down by two english jocks anyway (and even got both on video cause they were both into that thing and i dont mind expanding my collection) so it was fine but yeah obvi i would’ve loved to try that monster dick

and then when i got back here in Canada last January, he messages and says he’s home and can accommodate and i was like “i just got back in Canada” and he was upset and he sent a dick pic. and then i was like “sorry maybe next time” and yeah this guy keeps messaging like every few months now. even when i told him i wont be back in like another year. and tbh i dont even reply or just have short replies at this rate cause really whats the point

but yeah here’s when it starts getting really crazy, he messaged recently and..

it was a photo of a guy sucking his dick and yeah the bottom just had his mouth on the tip and couldnt even reach half of it. he was like “wish it was u kneeling down” and it was hot! so ofc i reacted. and since i was bored and i just asked him how he fucked him cause ya know the details might be hot. but yeah it gets messy from here..

and he talked about how the guy begged to remove the condom (cant blame him tbh.. imagine getting bred by a monster cock. that doesnt happen always) and he even sent a video (and it was hot) then he talked about how he’s gonna fuck me and its redundant now cause like he’s been saying almost the same thing he has already told me. and I literally cringe everytime he calls it a “boy pussy” im like STOP TALKING.

BUT IT GETS MESSIER NOW CAUSE HE WENT “i’ll demolish ur ass and gape u so hard until my seed is leaking from ur [redacted] and lick ur [redacted] while ur wearing my gf’s panties”

AND IM LIKE HOLD ON WHAT???? GF??!?!? YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? and i obvi just typed lowercase like i was calm but inside i was FREAKING OUT. i mean its obvi NOT in my place to pry at his relationship but yeah so i was just like “u have a gf?” and he was like “yah i hope that doesnt put u off” and IM LIKE OF COURSE IT DOES. LIKE WHATTT. so i went “aah okay why dont u break up with her then if u fuck other guys?” and he was like “cause she has amazing tits but she wont let me touch her arse.. and besides boy pussy is hot and makes me cum loads more than girl pussy” and im like in my head GOD WHY DID I EVER REPLY TO THIS DEMON and he then he was like “i still wanna fuck ur brown asian pussy” and I WAS LIKE WELL WHAT THE FUCK.... and in my head i was... and then i replied “uh okay” #CANCELLED and GODDDDDD I FEEL DEFILED and A MESS??!?! I mean i didnt know he had a gf when i messaged him BUT THE FACT HE”S THATTTYPE OF WHITE DEVIL. and i asked him if his gf knows or if its an open relationship and he said “no” and he hasnt been caught. and he even bragged about fucking his gf’s gay 18 y o cousin who was a virgin and im like what the hell is THIS WHITE DEMON WITH A MONSTER DICK LIKE WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE A LITERAL MONSTER

anyway, obvi i was turned off! he probably does have an 11-inch cock that’s like super rare but i have dignity and my manhood! and his feminising kink wasnt my thing anyway. i just stayed for the pics and videos and the possibility i’d put my skills to the test and see if i can deepthroat him BUT OBVI THAT IS CANCELLED IF HE HAS A GF. LIKE I DONT WANNA BE THE OTHER PERSON or a side piece. but yeah gosh i am just shook rn. i like unsent all the nudes i sent and vids (thank god instagram has that feature)

and he hasnt stopped messaging, but yeah i now stopped replying and will stop replying. like i know this is probably like a men dot com gay porn fantasy to get fucked by a hot “straight guy” especially WITH A giant cock but like.. this is all too much. like this demon is out here fucking dudes and even rawing them behind her back. and im not gonna get involved like it’s a fucking mess and

[mickey-tank-bank]

@septemberfirst1989 asked for my unpopular bob's burgers opinions and im both sick and a little turnt so im gonna do it. Louigan is bad. Just bad. Smely. Not good. Bad ship. Louise is bi but mostly likes girls. Shes aro but would still be in a relationship but it wouldnt be conventional. Louise and rudy??? Grow up and are very good friends and he seems the type to marry and have kids and she'd be a cool aunt to them bc rudy has no siblings. Can u tell i like louise a lot Gene is panromantic ace-spec and when he grows up writing music and jingles and songs and whatnot he has a few kids with some guy or gal or person he loves and theyre sp happy and hes so good with kids bc he gets them and even as an adult he never loses that special magic and humor about him. Gene and linda are both add and they kinda relate over it sometimes None of the belchers are heterosexual sorry My eye is twitching violently hang on Tammy eventually works on herself and after a lot of development and ultimatums from friends she sorts her shit out. Jocelyn is a lesbian and i love her i love my 80s valley girl lesbian daughter. Zeke is like one of the best characters i love him Tina and jj doesnt work well as a ship to me but id love to see them grow as friends and then maybe?? Something? Jimmy jr is trans and jimmy almost cried when lil jimbert wanted to be called jimmy jr. Gene is nonbinary or genderfluid Bob and warren fitzgerald kinda tried bein boyfriends in high school but didnt want to ruin their friendship. Bob is bi bi bi (bi bi) Calvin is arospec pansexual and wpuld probably consider himself a demiguy or nb if he knew about that. Felix spent his inheritance on sleek postmodern design and the best transitioning money could buy. Cal was pretty active in the lgbtq+ scene in his younger days and always rly wanted to end up on broadway but life happened and also he got stabbed in the face when he was like 18. Linda was punk a s f u c k when she was young and she aint let bob forget it. The kids watch old movies with bob a lot and it influences some of their stories. Bob rly likes 70s and 80s stuff. This isnt exactly unpopular opinions but whatever Im belchoeder ot3 garbage but we already know that Bob has hemophilia and highkey worries abt his kids bc theres a chance they may have it or carry it. Bob is a spoonie he also has stomach issues and depression. Linda had a miscarriage before she was pregnant with louise and it affected her a lot even tho she tried not to let on that it did. Linda prolly had a gf or two at some point. Teddy deserves all the kindness of this earth also teddy would be a really amazing stepdad. Morts jewish dammit and hes bi with a preference for dudes and and and sometimes his work gets to him so the belchers leave him like a nice basket of things to cheer him up. Bob is cute hes so damn cutw im so damn gay id marry that boy if i could hot damn Wrev is so gay folks hes off the deep end here i go whoosh i go quietly into that gay night good night

[defendglobe]

this line fucking hit deep. this was what upset me so much that i had to leave the house. because its too close to home.

not to be super morbid but like. that’s exactly what’s going to happen to me and i know it. i have almost no connections anymore.

every day i get more and more isolated. most of my old irl friend group doesnt talk to me anymore and for good reason!! they are doing so so much better now that im out of their lives and while im happy for them its a depressing pattern. i remember back in jr high how my friend group was the only thing that kept me going lol. it makes being alive a lot harder now that i don’t have anyone to live for you know?

tumblr friends are all fun and good but when it comes down to it i feel like they just like me because i say funny things sometimes. and that the only reason they give me the time of day is because of that and that they dont know me in real life so they can see what a fat stupid socially inept waste of a person i am.

and then i go and pull shit like fucking not speaking to irisa or helen for months because i cant bring myself to message them. they’ve got enough to deal with without my dead weight bringing them down even more. they deserve better than that lol. i feel like its only a matter of time before it happens to someone else because im just a drain on everyone i touch.  (if any of you read this im sorry and its really not you its me)

im such a toxic shitty selfish person. i make everything about me and am too stupid and/or self centered to think about anyone else. 

my roommates all think im damned to hell for being born a lesbian (and if they’re too dense to figure that out then they think im damned to hell for thinking that its ok to be gay or non christian or some fucking thing) and that’s fine!! whatever!! hell doesn’t exist anyway and i dont need their approval. 

it just gets so tiring having to fight every single day and being so in the minority in your opinion that you are never heard. especially when the fight you have to keep up is “there’s nothing wrong with my existence”. its just one more fucking thing. 

my fucking dad doesn’t even like me any more and even though ive tried so fucking hard to fix it things only get worse. i dont even really know why hes so angry at me all the time. is it because i couldn’t find a job this summer? because my mental health issues prevent me from being a normal active teenager and i have to do things a lot slower than most people?? because he thinks its appalling that im 20 and still live at home most of the time??

sometimes i worry that its because im gay. (lol there’s smething ive never said before!!) like hes ok with it as a concept but hes uncomfortable with having a gay daughter in reality. or because i dont want to have kids and hes from a very big family. i dont know!! he wont fucking communicate so who knows what it is.

and while i really do wish i could meet some girl and have a relationship how the hell is that going to happen when i barely even have friends and no skills to make them. the one time i did have a gf i totally killed it because im too goddamn distant and clueless with relationships which im sure made her feel like i didnt like her. (in reality i probably liked her more than she did me which honestly is all my friendships in a nutshell bc im so desperate for any interaction lol) and ever since things have been fucking weird and i know its my fault for opening my damn ass mouth in the first place.

who am i to inflict myself on anyone else anyway? im too goddamn mentally ill to have a relationship without making a hypothetical girlfriend miserable. i dont want to hurt anyone else with my self destructive shit. the self harming and the self isolating for days at a time or the terrible reckless shit i do that borders on halfassed suicide attempts. shit like stepping out into traffic without thinking or taking too many pills. ive stopped watching what i eat and what makes me feel sick. in fact i sometimes eat shit i know makes me sick on purpose. its weird i know. 

i feel i deserve it. i feel like hurting is what i deserve. for being so useless and unfit to be alive. i dont think im capable of happiness because of who i am. it feels like the only way i can ever be at peace is by not existing.

i just wish i didnt feel this way at all but some days it feels inescapable because of how isolated i am and how hopeless things have been for so long. i have nowhere else to go and nothing to live for and no one to stop me in any way that doesnt feel hollow and empty. 

im not planning on doing anything right now so please don’t worry about me. im alright for now. i just needed to vent.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: 😭 Ali: BITCH I'M SOBBING Ali: Why are you the purest of all time? Carly: dont cry baby Carly: its not that shit like i did try Ali: It isn't shit at all Ali: it's the best Ali: when can I come get it Carly: I'll bring it youre hurt Carly: anything else you need? Ali: s'all good, Lene is bringing bandages but honestly Ali: frozen peas helped loads, not even that bad now Ali: I can hop to you 🐰 Carly: cute as youd look Carly: i wont make you k Carly: should i not come over if she is? Ali: probably not Ali: i want you to but she would be awks if not rude n i don't wanna do that to you Ali: she's just stressy rn Carly: yea hmu when she goes Carly: ill bring you good shit for the pain Ali: you're my 😇 shortcake Ali: never over how cute the gift is either Ali: hidden talents Ali: imma have to think of something good to give you now, least I'll have time if I can convince Ma that I need to rest this shit Carly: w such a talented boo i had to step it up Carly: cant lose you Carly: you dont need to do anything for me tho youre the one hurting Carly: & the cute one Ali: you won't Ali: less I make a habit of rolling down the mountains, which I ain't planning on Ali: stop at a nice grassy hill, like Ali: you can kill me with kindness tho 😊 into it Carly: yea dont k Carly: but do bring me flowers if youre in that grass for a while Carly: wanna feel the love Ali: I so will Ali: not from the garage either Ali: proper romance Carly: aw Carly: youre the best Carly: never had flowers before Ali: that's an outrage Ali: imma fix that so fast Carly: youre gonna make me sob Ali: not the goal just 'cos you got me first Carly: cuz i love you bitch Carly: it scared me when you hit the ground Ali: i love you too bitch Ali: i'm soz, swear i'm usually more capable and less dramatic Carly: my bad for having parents that make us run to the mountains Ali: it's chill Ali: adventures are the best Ali: mad we didn't find a cave to live in but there's always next time Carly: make it homey & cute aw Carly: gonna need it if your gf or fam are mad at me Ali: cavegirl chic Ali: only come down for the good times Ali: nah, my fam just laughed Ali: tah for the sympathy 🖕 twats 😂 Carly: my hair looks better uncombed like i can make that work Carly: when you gonna b party ready? Carly: my fam going away Ali: Again? Ali: I'm always ready to party Carly: i kno Carly: we have a few days to make it good Carly: ma needs to hit the salon before she can go like Ali: Naturally, gotta start your pre-tan now amirite Linda Ali: but so up for this Ali: this town needs a good party Ali: and so do we Carly: unnaturally blonde too Carly: o ma Carly: yea itll be fun Ali: we do have more fun 💅💄👗 Ali: as dubo gon' know Carly: ha Carly: me first tho Ali: obviously Ali: party planning party Carly: you bringing your gf this time? Ali: nah Ali: her idea of planning ahead is getting in double the cases, like valid but what are we wearing Carly: bored of my clothes Carly: we gotta shop Ali: 🙌 ugh Ali: marry me again Carly: k set the date Ali: obvs gotta have a 3 in it Ali: for the 🍀 Carly: & 🔮 Ali: exactly Ali: baby gets it Carly: you get me Ali: i hope so Ali: 'cos you're cool and fun and sweet Ali: i like you Carly: aw Carly: i love you 👼 Carly: cutest Ali: 🤭 Carly: gotta make you blush for each ⚘ Carly: thats my plan Ali: Can count that as 2 but Imma start making it harder from now on Carly: yea? Ali: Can't be giving 'em away Ali: plus intrigued to see what you come up with Carly: but youre so pretty when you go pink Carly: trying to change my fave colour Ali: damn, you're good 😜 Ali: what is your favourite colour Carly: 💙 Ali: Good choice Ali: the sky, the ocean, can't go wrong Carly: liked it more since i met you Carly: the eyes be like Ali: girl, you killing me Carly: sorry Ali: you ain't and i ain't Carly: facts Carly: wish you were here its boring Ali: same Ali: but Lene will be here soon, don't think I can move that fast Ali: also feel more guilty even though I ain't actually doing anything wrong Carly: i kno Carly: ill go see if ronans still in a mood Carly: if she gets too much you can say she has to come be chivalrous for me cuz hes kicking off Carly: probs will no lie Ali: don't let him be a dick Ali: more than his usual and expected, like Carly: bored of his tantrums hes like a kid Ali: yeah Ali: gotta learn he's not that much of a ride Carly: like sorry you want my wife more than me not my bad Carly: & same boy Carly: shes the ride here Ali: nah, just pissy you banged his cousin, sure Ali: you hush 😘 Carly: but i banged bartley cuz ronan didnt pay me no attention Carly: your own fault lad Ali: let him know Ali: if it weren't me it'd be some other girl, yeah? so he needs to get over it if that's how he wanna play or start apologising now, like Carly: yea Carly: ill tell him Carly: dont let your girl be a dick either tho Ali: I don't Ali: esp. not about my baby Carly: waiting for her to slide in my dms to warn me off Carly: gonna smack me w that gay scale Ali: 😂 Ali: least you can clap back like Ali: bitch i'm a 1 Carly: yea Carly: & not my bad the boo is magic Carly: cant resist Ali: exactly Ali: only human Carly: true Carly: any1 who dont like you is proper weird Ali: awh baby Ali: can i put that on my tinder Carly: gotta Carly: but you kno where to bring the dick pics Ali: DCI Carly Carly: only way im getting letters round my name Ali: I'd make you queen Ali: but lizzie ain't budging and fuck the royals yeah Carly: aw babe Carly: im blushing if you keeping score Carly: gonna be like i own this place after our party Ali: hell yeah Ali: 👑 Ali: bow down bitches Carly: gonna rule w me yea Ali: you sure you don't want prince ronan by your side? Carly: im sure Ali: then of course Ali: lemme fetch my crown Carly: id make you one but youve seen my lack of talents Carly: could maybe do ❀ Ali: ain't seen nothing but, thank you Ali: always a look Carly: you wanna see something k Carly: ill remember you said that Ali: what you planning Carly: nothing w your gf on her way Carly: but you kno Ali: shame Ali: wife ain't meant to be the fun one 😉 Carly: but when you marry me tho Carly: nother time baby Ali: i know, i wifey'd too well Ali: so 🍀 Carly: me too Ali: Oh she's here Ali: chatting up my Ma in the kitchen Carly: fun Ali: Truly Ali: She'd have booted Ronan so far down the road if he'd tried Carly: ha Carly: he doesnt do older no offense to your hot ma Ali: 😂 Ali: can't be doing much younger now, creeper Carly: thatll be why hes so moody Ali: gutted, babe Carly: but no need for you to be Carly: go get your girl Ali: heaven forfend i get up Ali: gotta play invalid Carly: aw babe Carly: take the perks & make it good tho Ali: yeah Carly: be fun Ali: always Carly: ill be here trying to make mine Ali: can take my new good luck charm as long as you keep it safe Carly: nah its yours Carly: gonna keep it safer than that for my baby Ali: 💚 Ali: just keep yourself safe then yeah Carly: aw Carly: yea k Carly: for you boo