#thank you for this question. in short: all of them are very gay except for carry shes genuinely straight and im so happy for her

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Hey could I put a request in for melissa x new teacher reader (andro/soft butch/short haired) strangers to friends to lovers. Melissa never being with a woman before and falls for reader cos theyre like strong silent type and respects and a defends her and treats her right.

Falling for You ~Melissa Schemmenti xFem AndrogynousPresenting!SoftButch!ShortHaired!NewTeacher!Reader ~Holiday Bingo

Summary— Barbara goes home sick, and Melissa and Reader go to dinner. Melissa has confession at dinner for Reader. Anon Response— Hi hi anon!! Thank you for your request! I would love to write this for you. I hope you Enjoy ♥️

Previous Day <—found here!

Holiday Bingo <—Here!!

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Prompt— Cold & Flu Season

Prompt— strangers to friends to lovers

Warnings: fluff, confessions of feelings, physical affection, sickness, etc.

Enjoy (;

You had started as a new teacher at Abbott over the summer. They had hired you right out of college with your teaching degree.

It was now a couple months later, January to specific, and with the cold weather came the cold and flu season. You had kids in your classes going in and out of the classroom from October till now, due to fevers, viruses, and just a myriad of sicknesses.

You and felt pretty welcomed by Abbott. You didn’t know anybody when you first started in the late summer, everyone new and stranger to you. Everyone was a little spacey at first, wary of the stranger, you the new teacher roaming the halls. Except Janine, she was kind and a sweetheart to everybody.

But with time, you found your place at Abbott. You started to get to know the staff and they started to slowly warm up to you. Now, you spent your lunch time with Barbara and Melissa, two other teachers. Barbara was a kindergarten teacher, and Melissa taught a mixed glass of second and third graders.

When you had first arrived at Abbott, you quickly found out that Barbara and Melissa were the more seasoned teachers. Your bond turned from stranger to friends with Melissa because you learned to take all your questions regarding teaching to her. After a month or two, Melissa invited you to join her and Barbara for lunch. You found that Barbara also often had wisdom to share from her decades of teaching, which you happily took.

But while Barbara was lovely, you always had a stronger and more potent connection with Melissa. You two just seemed to click. Not in the way Barbara and Melissa did, but in your own unique way.

If you would have thought your redhead teacher friend were gay, you would have made a move by now. But all you ever heard from Melissa regarding partners was about guys. Her ex, Gary, and a couple others not worth mentioning. But none of them had ever panned out for her. So a part of you secretly remained hopeful that she might one day see you in that way…

It was a Friday and the school was bustling with that chaotic energy that came around just before the weekend. You, Barbara, and Melissa had evening plans to go to dinner. The two women liked to treat themselves every once in a while, and this time they had invited you. You were very excited to say the least. You had chosen your favorite casual suit/blazer to wear. And you spent the entire day looking forward to the evening.

But as you met Melissa and Barbara in the lunch room as always, Barbara was leaning over the table a little and breathing oddly. Melissa looked at you when you entered the room and began to explain,

“Barb’s not feeling well, ‘hun… I’m trying to convince her to go home, but… she’s certainly stubborn…!” Melissa huffed.

You nodded in understanding and apologized to Barbara because you felt bad. You and Melissa then spent your lunch convincing the groaning older woman to go home and rest. You finally got her with her things out the door and into her car. Barbara left the school parking lot at 5 minutes till the next class.

Melissa huffed as she and you walked back into the school. You both had to grab your things from the break room before you could go your separate ways.

“I guess we’ll cancel dinner, hmm ‘hun…?” Melissa hummed.

“I’d still like to go” you said before you could catch the words coming out of your mouth.

Melissa had picked up her things while you said that, making her stop and look at you. For a second you panicked as her face read nothing. But then it lit up!

“Sounds good! Meet ya’ in the lot?” The woman chirped.

You immediately nodded, before Melissa nodded back and left the break room.

You spent your afternoon now even more excited for the dinner. Far more excited. You and Melissa having dinner. Not a date or anything but still…!!

After school, you and Melissa met in the parking lot. You made sure you each had the right address and then drove to the restaurant in your own cars.

You arrived and the place was buzzing. It was Friday night after all. Luckily, Barbara had made a reservation, which you could still use.

The waiter escorted the two of you to the table and you took a seat. You both began scanning the menu.

“So I talked a little to Barb while mu kids were in specials…” Melissa hummed over her menu,

“Oh…? How is she?” You responded.

“Sick.” Melissa chuckled, “And grateful that we made her go home”

You smiled to yourself and nodded. You then put your menu down, having decided. This was when you noticed that Melissa’s eyes had been lingering on you. You met her gaze and she quickly looked away.

“What is it?” You asked curiously.

She put her menu down.

“I… I like you.” She said.

The energy and tone of the conversation turned quite vulnerable as Melissa spoke those words.

“Oh, thank you…?”

“Of course, but no I mean I really enjoy being around you and I…” Melissa paused, contemplating her next words, “I find myself wanting to be near you when I’m not… and I don’t feel good when you’re not near…” The woman rambled.

You listened and nodded along until there was a pause. Your heart was now racing. And your eyes were wide.

“Melissa… Do you like women…?” You asked the nagging question.

This stumped the woman a bit.

“I… have never been with one… so I don’t know…” she breathed out in confession.

“Ahh I see… well there’s nothing wrong with that.” You comforted the woman.

Melissa sighed and nodded.

“It scares me a little if I’m being honest…” she practically whispered.

Your heart was leaping with joy, but you also felt for the woman.

“Can you tell me about how you know or what you like about me…? Maybe talking about it might help…” you offered.

While part of you was being a little selfish in this ask of Melissa, the other part of you truly cared and wanted what was best for the woman.

Melissa hummed lightly and nodded slowly. But before she could continue, the waiter came back. You two were interrupted in your moment, having to tell the server what you were ordering. Finally, the waiter left.

You looked back at Melissa expectantly. She met your gaze, understanding, and taking a deep breath, looking away as she spoke.

“I’m not sure exactly… I like the way you look… your more manly outfits and your short hair…”

She paused and looked to you. You nodded along, blushing lightly. You indicated for her to continue.

“I like that you’re respectful and loyal…I like your mixed masculine and feminine energy, they kind of cancel each other out in a way that isn’t overwhelming”

“androgynous?” You interrupted, suggesting a term for her to use.

Melissa smiled lightly and immediately nodded.

“Ya’ that’s the one…!” She exclaimed, and you nodded along, asking her to continue.

“I know I like you because I always get butterflies when you’re nearby, and I feel a sharp stab like pain in my stomache when you’re not…” she breathed out in confession.

Now you were wondering if the room was heating up… Your heart was beating impossibly fast and you were blushing even more now. You couldn’t control your reactions to the woman and her words.

But you had asked for it when you asked her that question…

Melissa was noticeably nervous as she continued to explain. You could see her winding herself up.

So you reached forward and placed your hand on hers, which was on the table.

“I like you too” you breathed out, your breath already short.

Melissas breath hitched and her eyes widened slightly. She now saw your dilated pupils. And then the woman licked her lips.

That action right there nearly made you kiss the woman right there. But you contained yourself, sitting back again and retracting your hand.

Your gazes interlocked, your energy’s syncing up.

“I’m glad we decided to still have dinner.” Melissa breathed out.

“Me too,” you said just as breathless as her.

And this was by no means going to be your last dinner date with the woman.

~~~

Next Bingo Fic <—Coming Soon!!

Melissa Schemmenti Masterlist

Holiday Bingo 2023 Masterlist

Tag List: @storiesofsvu @aemilia19 @willowshadenox @vexed-jade @lunala-rose23 @tryingmybest233333 @principal-weems09 @athenodora-sulpicia-writer @sapphixwriter

[slveepyscwrs]

Question, can I request a Kuroo x Y/N hurt/comfort where Y/N tries coming out to their parents as bi/pan and their parents yell at them so Y/N goes to Kuroo for comfort?? Thanks =)

OMG I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING THIS LONG, I don't even know if you'd still want to read this. :((

Life has been a little bitch, but let me tell you, I LOVED your request, it hit really close to home for me, so that's also why I spent so much time on it... I really wanted to make it something special for you :)

Some quick notes:

-Multispec is used as a catch-all for all identities that involve attraction to multiple genders, rather than just bi or pan, to be more inclusive.

-They/Them is used as a catch-all to include Y/Ns of all genders. However, I did make them a member of the volleyball team... By the time I remembered it was a boys' only team, it was too late, so yeah let's just pretend that this is a more gender diverse world–

-I don't think much is said about Kuroo's mom in canon, so my interpretation of what she would be like in this situation is entirely based on head canons.

With that out of the way, without further ado–

Never Stop Loving

TWs: LGBTQIA-phobia, child abandonment, physical abuse, HEAVY religious bigotry

Growing up, crushes seemed so simple to everyone. A boy and a girl would start spending a lot of time with each other at school, and then everyone would tease them, never ceasing to ship them together relentlessly. Sometimes, in a few lucky cases, either one of them would say ‘I like you too!’ And thus, a silly puppy love relationship began.

Being a boy and liking girls, or being a girl and liking boys, was the standard childhood experience for everyone around you… except for you yourself.

For one thing, you resented stereotypical gender roles from a very young age. The idea that girls must be giggling and gossipy, and that boys should be all rough and tough, was abhorrent to you. Deep down, you always knew that there was much more to gender than that, and that there were probably more than two genders in the first place.

That conviction didn’t help you much in terms of fitting in. However, gender itself wasn’t the only idea you struggled to grasp, it was which gender you meant to be attracted to.

As you grew a bit older, teachers began mentioning that there were boys who liked boys and girls who liked girls too. Yet still, even that didn’t seem to answer the burning feelings you had always held inside.

That butterfly feeling that was characteristic of crushes wasn’t exclusive to any one gender for you– although short-lived, you had periods of romantic fantasies for all kinds of people.

Despite the fact that everyone around you was choosing one gender with ease, you eventually came to accept that this was how you felt. Even though people called you weird and outcasted you whenever you even mentioned the possibility of a person being able to be attracted to more than one gender, there was no ‘getting rid’ of these feelings, so you shrugged and figured that you may as well accept it.

It wouldn’t be until your teenage years rolled around and you began browsing through internet forums that you found that there was a name for these feelings– the multisexual spectrum.

Whichever one of the many identities on this spectrum you came to identify with, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. It felt so freeing just to know that there were so many others who had the same attractions as you, and that you weren’t crazy after all.

However, with that freedom also came a realisation that crushed and shattered your whole entire world to pieces.

Tragically, your parents didn’t seem to feel the same way when it came to people who didn’t fall into heteronormative expectations of what they thought love should be.

Forget those on the multisexual spectrum, they despised even just gay and lesbian people.

It began with a quick changing of the channel whenever some news about LGBTQIA+ people came on. You shrugged it off at first, but they slowly began revealing their true colours.

“How can someone be so sinful? They will surely burn in hell.”

“They’re violating God’s natural order!”

“They’re so evil, they’re fucking brainwashing the kids now too!”

“I wish the government would have never legalised gay marriage…”

“One man. One woman. That is the only acceptable version of love.”

Whenever these words from both your mum and your dad rang in your head, you felt sick to your stomach. They had no clue that you liked multiple genders, and judging from their reactions to gay people, they would probably react even harsher when they discovered that people on the multisexual spectrum exist too.

And you were one of those people.

Being aware of what could potentially happen in the event that they found out, you kept your identity on the extreme down low. You didn’t even tell anyone on the volleyball team at your new highschool, Nekoma High.

You had developed a passion for volleyball over the past few years. It was the best distraction that you found for everything going on at home. In fact, you often tried to stay back for as long as possible even beyond Nekoma’s regular afterschool routines, just so you would have to spend time with the two who you weren’t even all that sure you could truly love anymore.

As for your teammates, they were the first real friends you had in a long time. Of course, Nekoma was notorious for their rather… chaotic antics. Kuroo, the captain of your team, was arguably one of the most chaotic of them all, what with his snarky remarks and overly laid back attitudes.

Still, behind it all, anyone on the Nekoma team could always count on each other. You had never felt a stronger “mess with one of us, mess with all of us” mentality anywhere else.

And yet, you didn’t hint at your identity to any of them either. The reality remained that you couldn’t predict what they would feel about one of their teammates having a multispec identity, and besides… you didn’t want to burden them or disturb their happiness in any way.

You resolved to keep everything going on in your head to yourself, for the sake of everyone you cared about.

One day, though, you had let your guard down.

During practice at the volleyball club, everyone was taking a break. Your teammates had boundless energy, but even they got tuckered out at times, and the same went for you just as much.

You sat in a corner as your mind began to wander off to your hidden identity crisis, as it often did.

“Will I have to keep this a secret forever…?”

Despite your best efforts, the burden of keeping a secret weighed down on your heart more and more. Just before your thoughts began to spiral out of control, an idea popped in your head.

You took out your laptop, and frantically began to type all those thoughts you had been keeping to yourself. You wrote about your identity, and your reluctance to tell your parents.

As you typed, it became apparent that, however scary the idea was, your parents would have to know sooner or later. If you ever started dating at one point, especially if that partner was the same gender as you…

Your thoughts were snapped back to the present moment by a sudden wave of thirst. It hit you just how hard you worked on perfecting your volleyball techniques, to the point that you had neglected hydration.

The sense of urgency became so great that you bolted off to find your water bottle.

However, your laptop had been left open.

Kuroo was the first to notice this. You didn’t know why, but Kuroo was always the first to notice even the little things about you.

“Where are they? They left their laptop open, some dumbass is going to fumble with the ball and smash the screen to tiny little pieces!”

His rambling to himself stopped when he noticed the notebook window left open on your screen. Something told him he shouldn’t be reading it, but his heart told him that this was much more important than that.

“Let’s see here…” He mumbled under his breath, reading everything to himself in the lowest voice he could. Soon, he trailed off, purely in shock from all that had just been revealed to him.

Of course, he was taken aback by the fact that you liked multiple genders– partially because he did too, and just like you, he wasn’t expecting to find anyone like him.

However, more than that, he felt ashamed. He was the captain, for god’s sakes. He was supposed to know his team like the back of his hand, and yet he couldn’t pick up on all these struggles.

“God, can’t I just call off the practice for today? I really just want to give them a hug right now…”

That was his first instinct, but he knew that would arouse too much suspicion, and the last thing he wanted to do was to draw attention to you. He knew that you could feel embarrassed when you were the centre of attention.

And so, practice went on, but Kuroo was noticeably stumbling. All his blocks were broken down like glass, and more often than not, he was catching the ball in his face.

“Haha, the way Kuroo’s catching the ball smack in the face is reminding me of the shrimp from Karasuno!” Lev teased.

Kai, Kuroo’s vice captain, sighed.

“Lev, how many times do I have to tell you that we don’t talk smack about other teams’ players behind their backs? But, you’re right… I think we have to call it quits for today, unless we want our captain’s face to be bruised beyond return.”

Mostly, everyone shuffled out of the gym with no more than a few grumbles or jokes, or the occasional side eye from Kenma.

You, on the other hand, immediately raised an eyebrow at this.

You knew something was on Kuroo’s mind.

What you didn’t know, however, was that Kuroo knew something about you as well.

When everyone had left, you both made firm eye contact with each other. As if pulled in by a rope, you took step by step to close the distance between you two, neither of you breaking that unwavering eye contact.

When you were mere inches apart from each other, you kept on with that impromptu staring contest in silence, waiting to see who would speak up first.

After a few moments, it turned out that both of you blurted it out at the same time.

“Kuroo, what is wrong with you today?”

“I support you, you idiot!”

The difference in what you both said prompted your gazes to turn bewildered.

Your eyes went wide.

“Huh!?”

You understood exactly what he was talking about. It was the fact that he must have found out somehow that terrified you, and you couldn’t help but tremble as you fumbled over your words in an attempt to execute damage control.

“I’m sorry… If you want to think I’m disgusting and curse me, you have every right to… I know I’m a freak for being different.”

Kuroo stared at you as if you had just spoken in an entirely different language.

“Now, why the fuck would I do that?” He was always sly like this, but this time, there was a hint of fondness in his voice as well.

Your head and your heart were still racing a mile a minute, and when Kuroo saw that his laid-backness wasn’t helping, his face softened. 

You felt gentle, strong arms embrace you, and without thinking, you buried your head into his chest.

“If you’re a freak, then I am too, you know.”

When you didn’t react, he elaborated further.

“I’m also into more than one gender…”

At this, your head shot up towards him, gazing into his eyes with both a sense of surprise and a newfound admiration for him.

He smiled at your eagerness, patting your head.

“From now on, we don’t keep things from each other, okay? I’m your captain, and I’m well aware that I can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but it’s still my number one goal to support my team in everything I do.”

To tease him back, you smirked into a sly grin, one that could even rival that of Kuroo himself.

“Wow, so you see me as just your teammate?”

He hadn’t been expecting this, so he suddenly let you go as his face immediately turned flustered. He waved around his arms so frantically that it appeared as if he were doing some strange dance.

“No! You’re my friend! Wait, that sounds wrong too… You’re my best friend!”

“Isn’t that supposed to be Kenma’s job, though? Does that mean I’m more than a best friend as well?” 

At this point, Kuroo looked just about ready to short circuit. You were enjoying every moment that you got to see him transform from a scheming genius to a babbling maniac.

However, you didn’t want Kuroo’s brain to actually stop working, so you granted him mercy by shifting the topic to a more somber concern.

“Since you’re also, you know… Did you ever tell your parents? Are they LGBTQIA-phobic too?”

Kuroo turned back to normal and scratched his chin in thought for a moment, and then shrugged.

“I mean, they can be scary as hell, so I thought they were… But when I did finally tell them, they kind of just went ‘Yeah, we know. Just remember to use protection.’”

The bluntness from such a reaction made you chuckle. A small hope ignited in your heart.

“Maybe if I tell them how I feel, I can get them to change?”

Just to confirm this, you turned to Kuroo for encouragement.

“So you’re saying that… even if I think that my parents might not be accepting, I should give it a go anyway?”

He put his hands on his hips, taking the proud stance that he was notorious for, yet still looking at you with an encouraging glance.

“It’s your choice, but I don’t remember ever teaching my team to be afraid of anything… It’s your life, so you have to have the courage to stand up for yourself. You especially don’t want to have weak knees in front of your own damn parents!”

These words were all you needed to make you think that maybe everything would be okay, and you felt your heart beat with a fondness for Kuroo that you’d never truly felt for anyone before, not even your puppy love crushes in childhood.

The thing was, you could have sworn you felt Kuroo’s heartbeat in the air the same way.

“What are you looking at me for? Go home and do it already!” You could tell he was getting all shy again.

And with that, you turned around and sprinted off back home.

Yet, as he watched you fade off into the distance, he couldn’t help but feel some gut instinct gnaw away at his conscience.

“Shit, why do I feel like I said something terribly wrong?”

By the time you arrived back, the sky had dimmed to give way to the evening. The first thing you did when you walked inside was greet your parents more cheerily than usual to set a good atmosphere, and observed their faces.

Oddly, they seemed to be in a good mood. They weren’t even having an argument. Your mom simply made small talk about various matters to your dad, who nodded along in agreement, as she welcomed you to the dinner table.

“You’re back a bit early.” Your mom hummed cheerily.

“Oh, practice got out earlier than usual today.”

“That’s nice, then.”

“You’re also in a much better mood than usual. It’s been a long time since you’ve spent time together with us like this, kiddo.” Your dad added in a tone of approval as he looked up from the newspaper he was reading.

You decided to take advantage of the positive notes that had been set. You inhaled and exhaled as deeply as you could to calm your shaky nerves.

It was now or never.

“Mom, dad, can I tell you something…?”

“Mhm. What’s up?”

Your mom turned around, still multitasking her miscellaneous chores around the kitchen. Your dad’s attention was piqued too, but he was still half focused on the newspaper himself.

“I think I like multiple genders!” You heaved out in a louder than expected tone.

Both your parents immediately dropped what they were doing. Both pairs of eyes fell on you, with an expression that made it look like you had just confessed to committing arson on the school and getting expelled.

“Kids these days! It must be one of those new trends or phases, right?”

Your dad nervously attempted to laugh off, and you could tell that he was hoping to whatever twisted version of God he must believe in that that was actually the case.

However, it very much was the opposite.

“No, it’s not a phase, dad… This is who I am…” Your voice began to shake and drop to a nervous whisper. This was already starting to go down south, but there was no turning back.

“I knew that the internet was brainwashing kids into this filth, but I never thought you would be one of them! We raised you to be better than this!” 

Your mom’s voice immediately began cranking up the dial further and further with anger and hatred.

“I’m not brainwashed, mom! Why is it so wrong for me to just be who I am?”

It was clear that your mom wasn’t going to back down from her stance, even though this was her own child, so two could play at this game, you thought.

“How many times do we have to tell you? There are only men and women, and God only wants one man, and one woman! Anything other than that is disgraceful, filthy, and–“ Your mother argued back, only to be cut off by you.

“Fuck you and your stupid ideas about God! I’m not even hurting anyone, so why do you guys always have to be so hateful when all we want is love?”

You knew that your rage-filled tone and your words were the very textbook definition of disrespect, but you couldn’t take it anymore. More than ever, you were confronted face on with the reality that your parents were never, ever going to change after all.

You began to see red, but just as you were about to double down, you were snapped back by a painful sting to the face.

Your dad stood towering above you, having just slapped you square on the face. The force was so great that you came tumbling to the ground, your butt making a painful impact against the hardwood floor.

“Fucking deviants like you should just burn in hell.” 

He spat this out in a tone so cold it seemed to freeze the air around you. As you looked up at him like a deer in headlights, he simply looked down upon you with an expression that was utterly devoid of any semblance of mercy.

Everything hurt, and in that moment, you wanted nothing more than to curl up in a hole and disappear forever.

Although your thoughts were in absolute overdrive right now, one thing was sure– it was not safe to be here anymore.

Mustering up whatever little strength you had left, you scurried and limped towards the door like an injured, helpless little animal.

“And don’t you dare come back!” Your father yelled after you, still feeling absolutely zero remorse.

As soon as you stepped outside, a burst of chilly wind hit you with a force that felt like another slap in the face.

You hid behind another house that was a safe distance away. You didn’t really care to know your neighbours, but no one was home, so you could at least be confident that no one was going to surprise you.

As you slumped down against the wall, the reality of what had happened began to hit you.

You had just been kicked out of your own home. You could expect yelling, you could expect bigotry, but this was the absolute worst case scenario, and you never thought it could be real.

And yet, it was all happening. All at once. Your parents didn’t love you anymore, and you had nowhere to go.

The uncertainty of what could happen, as long as the icy cold that began to make you shiver uncontrollably, prompted you to curl up into a ball and sob a stream of tears.

“It’s all my fault… I should have kept my mouth shut…”

Still, even though it was Kuroo who had encouraged you to come out, you didn’t blame him in even the slightest bit.

“Kuroo will be so disappointed in me… He was so confident in me, and yet I failed…”

As the graveness of your situation continued to set in, your fingertips and toes started to go numb. You hadn’t even had the chance to pull on a jacket on your way out of the heated environment of your house.

The tip of your nose also turned red from the biting cold, as your only protection was your T-shirt and shorts– the worst possible dressing for the weather.

It was indeed tempting to give up and fall asleep on the icy grass, but another realisation made you fight tooth and nail to keep your eyes open– if you fell asleep in this weather, your life itself would be at risk, and there was no certainty that you would even wake up.

Your choices grew slimmer and slimmer the more you thought about it, but throughout your thought process, one subject ringed repeatedly in your mind.

“Could I go to Kuroo’s house…?”

From the few times you had visited Kuroo’s house with your team, you vaguely remembered that his house was only a few blocks away from yours. It was a risk to go when you were in this state, and you didn’t want to burden him either, but this was a matter of life or death.

You tried to recall to mind a house number, but failed. The only concrete memory of Kuroo’s house that you had was that it was a different colour exterior than the houses around it, so if you were lucky enough to come across it, you would know.

With this extremely limited knowledge in your hands, you took off walk-running in a vague direction. You would normally had no problem running for a few blocks, but the cold battled you for power over your legs.

As you went further and further, your shivering became more profound, but you had to power through. The moment you would collapse unconscious, it would all be over.

With these high stakes sending your adrenaline rushing to an all-time high, you forced yourself to keep going. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem that the physical activity warmed your body even nearly enough to make a difference.

Even when your vision started to blur in and out, even when every muscle in your body begged for mercy, even when your knees started to buckle beneath you, you summoned up every last bit of determination you had.

Just as the dizziness was becoming too much, you finally spotted that house that stood out from the rest. You finally relaxed your body, legs like jelly as you approached the door and weakly rang the doorbell.

Your knees finally gave way, and you fell to their level in front of the door, silently praying that someone, anyone would be home.

However, even despite these circumstances, your heart still yearned for Kuroo above all else.

Inside, Kuroo’s mom started at her son in some frustration, watching him pick at his food with a fork.

“Right then, so are you going to tell me why you aren’t scarfing down your food faster than a competitive eater like you usually do, or will I have to interrogate you until you fess up and tell me what the hell is wrong?”

Kuroo didn’t know how to explain the situation to his mom, and even if he wanted to, his worries for you completely robbed him of any ability to find the right words.

He mumbled under his breath, continuing to push uneaten food around his plate.

“I really fucked up…” Those were the only words that reached his mom’s ears.

It wasn’t the usage of a swear word that concerned her, it was the fact that this was extremely uncharacteristic for someone as self-confident as him.

She opened her mouth to request him to elaborate, but she was interrupted by a very faint version of the doorbell’s ring.

A gut feeling suddenly rushed to Kuroo, making him jump up to get the door so fast that even his usually unwavering mom yelped in surprise.

As Kuroo fumbled to get the lock open with shaky hands, she thought to herself,

“It can’t be his dad… He’s still at work, so who’s come at this hour that’s made Kuroo so riled up?”

She stood from a distance, watching as the door swung open. She couldn’t see who it was from here, but she froze when she heard Kuroo’s breath immediately become panicked.

You could barely form words at this point, as Kuroo crouched down to behold what had happened to you with horror.

Your breathing was visibly laboured, you were on the verge of losing consciousness, and as he reached out a shaky hand to touch you… that skin of yours was so freezing cold that he retracted his hand immediately.

“Shit, shit, shit!” He repeatedly cursed in a whispery tone.

Just as had happened to you, all Kuroo’s worst fears were coming true as well.

He shook your shoulder in an attempt to make you more awake, and when it was apparent that this was doing nothing, he scooped you up in his arms with ease. He took a few steps into your house and shut the door immediately, so that the heating system could begin to warm you.

Gazing upon your weak, freezing body, he couldn’t hold back the tears that stung at the corners of his eyes.

“Fuck, baby… this is all my fault…” 

He ignored the obvious fact that this could be interpreted as a love confession. That was the last thing on his mind now. All that mattered in every inch of his instincts right now was doing everything in his power to fix what he had broken.

Kuroo’s mom still couldn’t see you from where she was standing, so judging from the baby talk, she assumed that Kuroo had found an injured stray cat.

Imagining that she would see a small pet, this finally made her rush forward to approach Kuroo.

When she saw that the ‘baby’ in question was a human, and a human she recognised from photos of Kuroo’s team, her heart dropped straight down.

Kuroo clutched you close to counter your condition with his body warmth, pleading with every ounce of his heart for you to stay.

“Don’t fall asleep, please… Damn it, I need you! Remember what I said earlier? I know you’re a fighter, so please don’t give up on me now…”

Although you were still somewhat awake, his words couldn’t fully reach your ears. All you felt was a strange sense of warmth, that made you feel safe for the first time that evening.

Meanwhile, his mom made a mad dash, practically turning the house upside down as she frantically searched for the warmest blankets they had.

All the while, she shouted in confusion repeatedly at the top of her lungs,

“Dear goodness! What in the name of the heavens could have happened to this poor child!?”

When she found a few blankets that she deemed satisfactory enough, she tossed them in Kuroo’s direction, and he caught them swiftly.

He made quick work of wrapping you up in a bundle tightly enough to be comforting, but also with a gentleness which ensured that the warmth would not suffocate you.

“Now what are you standing there like a statue for? Go to your room and tuck the kid into your bed to warm them up!”

Kuroo rarely agreed with his mom, but he had to admit, that sounded like a good idea.

‘Tender’ was about the last word that anyone would use to describe Kuroo. Yet, as he tucked you into bed, the tenderness of the way he snuggled you in reached your heart far before the actual sensations of warmth did.

He crouched down next to the bed, clutching your hand hopefully, praying that this would work and you wouldn’t have to be admitted to hospital.

Even though he hadn’t heard a word from you yet, he never stopped whispering encouraging sweet nothings into your ear.

As your skin grew warmer to the touch and your eyes opened to their regular degree of wideness, Kuroo sighed with a relief so strong that it was palpable.

“Thank goodness…”

You grew more aware of your surroundings. The room was entirely unfamiliar to you, but somehow, Kuroo’s presence made the atmosphere welcoming.

The first thing you did as you startled back to normal was look down at where yours and his bodies were joined by your hands. You then looked up at Kuroo’s face, which was tear-stained, but also had an ear-to-ear smile as he saw that your gaze was no longer empty.

It took your brain a few moments to recall what had happened and what was happening right now fully, but once everything registered, overwhelming emotions returned once again.

You felt mortified at the mere thought of your parents. You felt gratitude that you were still alive. You felt a sense of security with Kuroo by your side. You felt guilt because, in your view, you were still only bothering him.

You hyperventilated slightly, distressed tears streaming down your face. Kuroo retracted his hand, believing that he was the one who had done something wrong with you.

Rather, it was quite the opposite. All you wanted in that moment was him.

“Please, Kuroo, just… hug me.” You mumbled in a daze.

That was the only confirmation he needed, and he threw his arms around you. The comfort that his embrace provided validated everything that was going on in your head right now, and choked sobs escaped your throat.

Never once did Kuroo tease you for crying, and he didn’t utter a word about it either. You were of far more worth to him than acting cool ever was.

He knew that the best thing he could do in this situation was to simply be there. He rubbed your back soothingly as his grip on you grew tighter, listening to your cries patiently.

“I’m sorry for causing this. I love you.”

He knew it was crazy to confess his love for you at a time like this, but at this moment, he was letting his heart speak the words that his rationale couldn’t find.

He didn’t care if you loved him back or not, as long as he could make you at least a little bit happier.

His mouth widened slightly with surprise as you jerked up to look at him more directly.

“I love you too…”

The way you had made him hilariously blushing back at the gym had returned with full force. It made you smile, albeit small, for the first time since you were kicked out.

As much as you wanted to continue professing your love and eliciting these reactions from him, you were still too weak to do so. Once again, you shifted to talk about something else.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Kuroo… If anything, this was my fault.”

The moment you said these words, he grabbed your shoulders, the determination in his eyes burning into your soul.

“Hey, even if you don’t want me to take it, don’t you dare blame yourself for any of this. If I make you feel guilty, I’ll never forgive myself.”

His words were sharp, but you could tell that he was being dead serious. His sincerity washed away some of your worries, as you comfortably leaned on his shoulder.

“Well… Do you mind telling me what the ‘this’ we’re talking about is?”

Your safety had been very much threatened, so as much as he wanted to reveal more of his lovey-dovey side to you, he needed to address the elephant in the room.

Recounting your experience so soon brought back stress again as you relived the memories, but Kuroo was not letting go of you, as he gently encouraged the bravery he knew you had inside you.

“I told them… They cursed at me and told me to go to hell… Then they slapped me to the ground and kicked me out, that’s why I ran away here…”

As you detailed what your parents had done to you, you felt Kuroo stroke your hair faster. This was his way of trying to hold back the way his blood was boiling with anger and rage towards two people who he regarded as absolute monsters for daring to lay hands on you.

“How the fuck can anyone in their right mind do that to their child?” He seethed through clenched teeth.

You wanted revenge just as much as he did, but you didn’t want anger to consume him, not after he had gone out of his way for you.

A couple of ways to calm him down drifted through your head, and you somehow went with the most shocking of them.

You leaned up towards his face, and pecked him on the lips. However, you had intended this little kiss to land on his cheek.

When you moved back again and saw how over the moon yet bewildered Kuroo’s expression was, your cheeks turned red as you realised what you had actually done.

“Wait, I didn’t mean to–“

Before you could apologise, Kuroo pulled you in to kiss you on the lips softly and lovingly. It didn’t last for more than a couple of seconds, and even still, you felt that your very two souls had grown a connection to each other.

Kuroo’s thumb cupped your red cheek, and he smiled coyly as he continued to elaborate on what he felt towards you.

“You can stay here as long as you need. That way, I can stay by your side and make extra sure no one has the audacity to hurt you ever again.”

Your lips opened to protest, but Kuroo swiftly put a finger on them to hush you.

“I know what you’re going to say, but don’t. There’s nothing you can ever do to make me think even for a second that you’re a burden. You mean the world to me, and I’m not saying that to bullshit you– I truly mean every word.”

“Thank you…” That was all you could whisper back.

As the real extent of his love began to get through to you, it made your heart swell with a joy that finally made you feel at home.

The sound of blaring sirens approaching made both of your heads turn. The window in the room had been glazed over with the cold.

Nonetheless, the characteristic red, white, and blue blurry hues of police car sirens were very much visible as they rushed by, disappearing just as quickly.

Kuroo covered your ears to protect you from the piercing noise. You already knew what those sirens meant, and he knew that you knew, but he wasn’t going to spare any precaution to protect you from further harm.

“My mom’s been working behind the scenes, hasn’t she?” Kuroo chuckled.

He was right. She overheard Kuroo raging after you had confessed to being kicked out and abused, and she wasn’t having any of it. She phoned the police, and even though she didn’t know where you lived, she kept yelling at them until they agreed to go find them anyway.

When the sirens weren’t as loud anymore, Kuroo uncovered your ears, still hugging you close. You looked at him fondly, and he continued to snuggle your head protectively on his chest, peppering the top of your head with kisses now that he knew you loved him back.

With the background noise of the fading sirens, Kuroo whispered into your ear,

“I want you to know that you never have to stop loving… You’ll be safe here, and I promise that.”

[goshen-applecrumbledore]

Happy WW! Question for this lovely Americana week: If you HAD to take the boys outside of America either on a quick job or to live for awhile, where would you make them go and why? I hate that we had that quick phone call with Bobby where Sam and Dean went abroad (Scotland, I think?) and we saw NONE of it! As much as I love my red-blooded American boys, I think we've been deprived of a great plot point!

hello!! what a great question thank you!!

the short answer: I'm Canadian and would love to see some Canada action, but the only canada-related plots in TV are hamfisted and cringe, so I can't imagine what spn would actually do with that that would be good

the long answer is a snippet from a fic I'll never publish that I KNOW I've posted on tumblr before but I can't figure out where, so I'm posting it again:

"You hung over?" Dean asked. Sam shrugged.

"Nah. Took some Advil."

"Good, good." Dean let a smile spread slowly over his face. "You, uh, really had a few."

"No more than you."

"You went on your little rant again."

Sam went still and looked over. Dean's smile was cranked up to a thousand watts.

"Which rant?" Sam asked carefully.

“You know which rant. Every time I get more than four drinks in you, you find a way to bring up moving to another country and telling people that we have the same last name because we’re married.”

Sam rolled his eyes, but Dean saw his back get tight. He was embarrassed.

“Excuse me for finding creative solutions to the ongoing problem of dating my brother.”

"Have you considered not dating your brother?"

"Shut up, Dean."

Dean put his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands and made faces at him.

"This time it was Portugal. You said we could live in a seaside shack in Portugal. You were worried they weren't progressive enough, though. Then I said, if we want progressive, we're stuck with either California or Canada or maybe Oregon on a good day, and you said that wasn't far enough away, except maybe Canada."

"Would you please—"

"You know a surprising amount of Canadian lore, turns out. Have you been doing research? House hunting? I'm not moving to Canada, we'd never get guns again."

"Canada's too close," Sam grumbled. "Go away."

"Canada's big. And rural. Bet we can find a place backwards enough for our, uh, alternative lifestyle. But—"

"Alright, that's—"

"—I'd be willing to bet that any fucked-up commune that's down with the incest part would be extremely not down with the gay part—"

"Dean."

"—So maybe we'd just better keep being weird, violent hermits in Kansas for now."

"Are you done?" Sam asked, sounding physically pained. 

"Are those pancakes done?"

"If it'll shut you up, they are."

"Deal."

Sam took the plate of warmed pancakes out of the oven and all but threw it down in front of Dean, leaving him to get his own utensils and syrup.

Sam had been very excited about Portugal. Dean thought it was grossly sweet, but he wasn't about to miss an opportunity to rib Sam by doing something as stupid as agreeing with him out loud. He knew it would never happen, but thinking about it made his heart turn over; two matching silver rings tapping on the railing of a balcony, sun-bleached stucco and curtains fluttering in the hot wind. Drinking vinegary pilsners and driving along a winding coastline, two old American guys with omnipresent sunburns and no past. Sam with his hair in a ponytail, reading a book under a beach umbrella.

Dean blinked and shook his head as if clearing sun spots from his vision. Maybe Sam thought about that life while he was drunk, but Dean thought about it sober. He really, really tried not to dwell on that delta. It made everything less funny.

[loonatics-b1gf4n]

LOONATICS SHIPS IN MY OPINION

!!!!WARNING!!!!

This article contains my thoughts.

Contains gay, lesbian ships and oc x canon ships. If you don't like this kind of thing, please don't read. I also ask you to be respectful.

Also, I do not own any of the characters mentioned here. Contains characters either owned by Warner Bros. or other users. Only the characters named Mylene E. Coyote ,Luna Vester, Hannah Bunny and Frankie Runner belong to me.

If you have no problems with these warnings, enjoy my article. Thank you.

-SHIPS THAT I LOVE TO SHIP OR I LIKE TO SHIP:

NUMBER ONE: TECH X REV (TEV OR OTHER SHIP NAMES YOU USE)

I think it wouldn't be a lie if I said it's the fan favorite Loonatics ship. I think you shipped it on time (If you didn't ship it, no problem). It's my favourite. And it was my first Loonatics ship. Technically my first Loonatics ship as a canon x canon ship. Hehe, I was once an oc x canon fan too. Interesting information, I used to ship Rev with the character named Mylene because I had a little crush on Rev. That's why I ship with myself. … I know it's very cringe. That's why I still hate myself. However, I learned from my mistakes and am now a Tech x Rev shipper. It wouldn't be a lie if I said Tech x Rev is the closest canon ship. They acted as if they were a couple in many scenes in the series. IF YOU STILL DON'T BELIEVE ME, LET ME TELL YOU THIS SENTENCE!! Said by Rev Runner. Season 2 Episode 5, ''Family Business'' “Thanks, Tech. If you weren't a coyote, and a guy, I'd kiss ya!” DID YOU SEE THIS?!?!? I'm still pissed because DAMN WARNER BROS ONLY MADE 2 SEASONS AND LEFT US LOONATICS FANS WITH A LOT OF QUESTIONS. AND MOREOVER, THEY DID NOT GIVE US ANY CANON SHIP. Except for married people, they're canon, so we know that. God dammit. In short, it is my favorite and I will definitely ship it in the future. NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!! NIHAHAHAHA. Sorry. By the way Rev gay and Tech pan in my AU.

NUMBER TWO: LEXİ X DUCK (LEXİ X DANGER DUCK)

Lexi x Duck ship is among my favorites, but it's not a ship I look at much. Even though Lexi and Danger Duck's relationship seems a little toxic in the series and they seem like siblings to other people, I love that they are lovers. At least in my AU they are. And they doesn't seem to ship much anymore. Excuse me, but this is the truth. Or I don't see much. This is also a possibility. It's not a ship I can talk about much, I just like them together.

NUMBER THREE: TECH X ACE

Don't attack me. I love Tech x Rev with all my heart. Still, I chose to like this ship for a change. I hated this ship before. But then I saw some of their fanart. Excuse me, but I mean a little bit, there are 2 hahahahahahaha. Anyway, I said to myself, "I think they might be cute. So why not, I ship it''. Frankly, I felt like they had a platonic love in the series. It seemed interesting and, frankly, sweet. Only in the series did I see how much Ace actually cares about Tech. Cry though, Ace, because Tech chose Rev. Hahahahahaha. I'm sorry again. An interesting information (related to real life) is that coyotes are monogamous. That's why I ship Rev with Tech in a different AU, and I ship Ace with Tech in a different AU. This helps a little more.

NUMBER FOUR: SLAM X LEXİ

I'll just say this briefly because I'm tired and I need to move on to more oc x canon and the ones I hate. They are sweet, but I see them more as brother and sister. I'M SO SORRY WHO EVER SHIP THEM!!! I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME!!! I RESPECT YOU GUYS!!!!

NUMBER FIVE: TECH X LEXİ

They can be cute but I don't prefer to ship them.

-OC X CANON SHIPS

NUMBER ONE: RİP X KİT (KİT X RİP OR KİP) OC X CANON SHIP

The owner of this ship is @segamarkiii. I don't own this ship or the Kit character. The reason I like this ship is obviously because Rip has a boyfriend. Rip is honestly a bit of an underrated character. I'm sad about this, because I think it would have made the show a little better if Rip had been a little more prominent. Also, the fanart made by Segamarkiii is amazing. I hope she makes more Loonatics fanart.

NUMBER TWO: MYLENE X LUNA (MY OWN SHIP BETWEEN MY OC'S)

I love this ship. They suit each other very well. Let me give you some AU spoilers. Mylene actually changed Luna's life. That's why she's on the team. In my original AU, I was actually going to ship Luna with Tech. YES, I TRIED TO SHIP THE CHARACTER WITH MYSELF AGAIN, CRINGE AND SORRY. Now when I say this, what do you think? ''Wait, do you ship yourself with yourself? It's disgusting.'' No, my dear friends. Mylene and Luna are no longer the characters I am myself. I have a main character and an IRL character, which are characters that reflect me. So no, I don't ship myself with myself. Do not worry. Meanwhile, Mylene and Luna are a Bi and Lesbian couple (TOH reference hah). Mylene Bi and Luna are lesbians. I love shipping them.

NUMBER THREE: ACE X HANNAH

The real reason I made this ship was because I felt sorry for Ace. While everyone on the team was in love with someone, Ace and Slam were not in love with someone. Don't worry, I have a ship in Slam. Hannah is a vet and Mylene has a desert fox (named Angel. Don't worry, a picture with my Loonatics Ocs will come soon, in late February, hopefully) While Mylene is taking her to the vet, Ace sees Hannah because he also came. Love at first sight, they get together, blah, blah, blah. So I gave Ace a girlfriend out of pity.

NUMBER FOUR: SLAM X FRANKIE

I must say that this ship was inspired by the malewife x girlboss relationship. While Slam is very shy around Frankie, Frankie tries to flirt with Slam. That's enough to say, and besides, this is my favorite oc x canon ship. IN LOONATICS!! DONT WORRY!!!!

If you have oc x canon ship in Loonatics and if I'm not say that sorry.

-SHIPS THAT I HATE TO SHIP OR I DON'T LIKE TO SHIP

Before I give my opinions, I'm so, so sorry if you ship any of these. But these are my opinions. However, I respect you all, know that.

NUMBER ONE: LEXİ X ACE

This is my least favorite ship among the Loonatics ships. Again, I'm sorry, but I don't like Ace and Lexi being shipped. If you tell me about the scenes in the series in the comments, I can't really say anything. However, remember that none of the ships in the series are canon. I think Ace and Lexi are cousins, and I prefer that. We already know that Bugs and Lola are together. In this case, the possibility of Lexi and Ace being cousins ​���increases.

''They are cousins, they are in the very distant future, can't they have consanguineous marriages? Can't they date even if they are relatives??'' Of course, but I don't like that, that's why I don't like this ship. That is all.

NUMBER TWO: ACE X DUCK (ACE X DANGER DUCK)

I will say this, this ship may be sweet to you, but it is not sweet to me. In my opinion, their relationship is mostly brotherly. They already have a competitive relationship. If we look at it according to Duck.

NUMBER THREE: REV X DUCK

I'm not telling anyone not to ship this, but I see them as a brothers.

Again, if you disagree with my thoughts, at least kindly express your opinion. If there are any ships I forgot, you can tell me.

Have a good day, good morning or good night :)

[metalhead-brainrot]

[Album of the day] World Eaters - Demo MK-1

Guelph, ON // 2020

[Genres] death metal, war metal

[Themes] In the grim darkness of the far future, there are only riffs...

[FFO] Warhammer 40K*, Bolt Thrower, Chainsword

[Thoughts] You can't traverse the waters of death metal for very long without encountering Warhammer 40K in some form, and I'll confess I count myself a fan.** But you don't need to be a capital-G Gamer to appreciate this ripping demo, a solo project from multi-instrumentalist David Gupta. World Eaters's riffs are as violent as its namesake***, guaranteed to have you itching for the mosh pit. The first two tracks, "Devour" and "Baneblade," will pummel you with energetic rhythm, an auditory siege culminating in the death/doom hellscape of "The Warp" (my very favorite World Eaters song to date).

I picked this demo because I think it's rock-solid, but I'd like to talk about World Eaters's other releases as well. Grinding Advance (2021) is their second EP, doubling down on everything in Demo MK-1. "Armoured Spearhead (Hellhammer)" is six minutes of unbridled energy; "Expedition / Tomb World" is nearly nine minutes, the latter half containing clarinet-infused Nile worship;**** there's even a cover of "Running Up That Hill."

World Eaters's new split, Mothman and the Thunderbirds vs World Eaters, adds two new great tracks to the WE catalogue. It's also the first release without drum programming; joining as the second permanent member, Winter Stomp***** adds ass-kicking blast beats to the bands repertoire. I'm very excited to see more future releases with her style.

Now that Winter Stomp has pledged her gory chainaxe to the sonic blitzkrieg of the World Eaters, the duo have been able to play live. Living outside Ontario I can't say I've been to one of their concerts, but I bet they split skulls; if you live near Guelph, check them out.

Also, I would be remiss for not mentioning that World Eaters has always been very charitable with the profits from their music, leading several donation campaigns for Guelph Pride, an LGBTQ+ nonprofit local to World Eaters's hometown. Winter Stomp has also designed and printed some booty short merch reading, "Be Gay Do Heresy," which tempt me every Bandcamp Friday.******

Thanks for reading the long post today. Keep on killing, maiming, and burning.

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* If you're unfamiliar, Warhammer 40K is a popular tabletop strategy game played with painted miniatures and rolling dice. It's popular with metalheads because the lore is so metal. Indulge me in a quick tl;dr.

It's the 41st century, and the Imperium of Man has spread through the Galaxy under the tutelage of the God Emperor. Though once great, the empire was split 10,000 years prior due to infighting from his übermensch sons, the Primarchs. Now the empire is spread thin across too many star systems, losing the fight against three main threats: the Xenos (other alien civilizations), the Heretics (those who question the authority of a fascist theocracy), and Chaos itself (arcane beings from the Warp, the non-space between wormholes).

The God Emperor sits as a corpse upon his throne on Terra, every ounce of his psychic abilities maintaining the Astronomican, a beacon guiding spaceships throughout the Warp. Every day an increasing number of psychics are sacrificed to fuel his powers, for if the beacon fails, the Imperium collapses and humanity falls.

There are no good guys, and there is no hope. For in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.

** Never actually played anything Games Workshop except Necromunda, though I've read a fair few novels. I prefer wargames that won't bleed me for money and bury me in rules, so I mainly play Mantic Games's Kings of War and Firefight. One book for all the rules and force lists at a fraction of the price.

*** The World Eaters are a faction of heretical Space Marines worshipping one of the four Chaos Gods: Khorne, the Blood God, who sits upon a throne made from the skulls of those slain in battle. They are also my favorite faction; he kind of has a Conan-esque backstory of fighting in gladiatorial slave pits. And we all know how much metalheads like Conan.

**** The Egyptian musical themes are themselves referential to the content of the song: Tomb Worlds are the hidden domains of the Necrons, a xenos race that conquered the Galaxy aeons before humanity even gazed at the stars. Annoyed by the emergence of other upstart civilizations, the Dynasties of the Infinite Empire transferred their consciousnesses into mechanical bodies, intending to slumber in hidden tombs until the juvenile races extinguished themselves.

But occasionally something wakes the soulless early, by delving too deep in ancient ruins or experimenting with ancient and unknown tech. And what they find is always ruthless extermination, for the destruction of a Necron's artificial body does not kill a mind capable respawning eternally into an army's worth of mechanical warriors.

***** She's apparently from the Netherlands. Neat.

****** I already have one of their patches on my metal jacket. Very stylish.

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[From the band/label]

Thought for the day: A coward always seeks compromise.

David Gupta: Guitars, Bass, Vocals, Drum Programming Psychic screams from the Immaterium are: Adam Ujhelyi (Teleportise, Hellbreather) Justin Krawczyk (Frank Reynolds, BatBoy) Derek Prince-Cox (Wakeless, Yuzun, ex-Arise and Ruin) Stuart Charlton (First World Famine, Inverted Serpent) Nik Wever (ex-The Story Of..., Time the Destroyer) Recorded, Mixed and, "Mastered" by David Gupta at Doyle House. World Eaters logo and Demo MK-1 artwork by Meytheus Rexy, @meytheusrexy_art

[fazedlight]

Hi! Sorry if this is too personal, feel free to ignore if that's the case. I'm just interested in talking about queer, esp bi/pan, experiences.

I'm a fellow bisexual and one of my gripes with society at large and the LGBTQ+ community especially is that I often feel like people only see my attraction to same-gender people and erase the fact that I'm also attracted to people of other genders. It has gotten better over the years, but when I was a teenager I even referred to myself as homosexual with exceptions because I only felt welcome in the lesbian community when I denounced all attraction to men and I thought that if I didn't find a home in the lesbian community, I wouldn't be at home anywhere because bisexuality was so heavily erased and mostly seen as a joke or as a half-assed stepping stone to coming out as gay. I'm also not helping my case by being married to a person of the same gender, though I continue to insist that being married to one person of one gender does not make my attractions to other genders invalid.

Most other bisexuals I know have similar experiences to mine on account of either being in a same-gender relationship or single but still defined by their same-gender attraction. From what I've gathered from your profile (and sorry if I'm wrong!), you're married to a person not of the same gender. What are your experiences like? Do people erase your attraction to same-gender people? Does the LGBTQ+ community read your relationship as "straight-passing" and if so, do they take kindly to that? (I'm thinking of sentiments like no "straight" people at pride that completely ignore that people who look "straight" to you might still be queer in so many ways.)

Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

Oh boy, anon, let me tell you, I know a LOT of bi/pan people in your shoes.

This got a bit long, so I'll put my answer below the cut.

My experience these days is pretty chill (I'll get to that), but when I was a baby bi, I remember attending a bi-themed event at our LGBT group in college. I was the only bisexual to show up, and ended up spending over an hour answering questions from people basically grilling me on how bisexuals could even exist. To this day I wish I had just walked out instead of spending all that time being so stressed. It scared me off doing community stuff for a long time, unless I had people around me who I knew.

I've been pretty lucky with queer friends, though - bi/pan people, but also gay and ace - who really saw me. So throughout college and now, my friends' group and the sort of general/informal queer social circles I've run in have been very accepting.

I was never particularly feminine (have never bought makeup, have never owned heels, haven't owned a dress since before I started dating my now-spouse, haven't shaved since freshman year of college, etc). I've always leaned towards men's clothes, and then I started buzzcutting my hair into a short crew cut. I also have a man's wedding band.

Because of all that, I get read as queer in public. It's to the point where, when I start a new job, I can see the looks of confusion when I mention my husband. When people see a butch, they expect a lesbian - so I create a lot of confusion, and they kind of have to accept that I am both queer and have a husband. (I wouldn't be surprised if some of them think I'm confused about my sexuality, but none have made that my problem so far.)

But I feel like the femme bi/pan experience - which is far more common, I feel like butches are fairly rare in my circles whether lesbian or bi - receive much more bullshit from people. Because it's easier to be femme and "look straight", and so femmefolk get written off, even though they're equally valid.

I will say that I think online spaces can feel a bit erasing. Like there's a lot of thirstposting in online culture, but it feels like breaking an unspoken rule to thirstpost about both male and female celebrities*, or to talk about sex with men and women. It always makes me facepalm a bit when people call Claire Max a lesbian, when she's been very clear that (1) she is bi, and (2) she is currently dating both a man and a woman and has even been dating the man (Kyle) for longer. It really saddened me a month ago when an artist who draws a lot of wlw art talked about how people gave her shit for drawing m/f art, too. She shouldn't have to segregate her art to two accounts. (*I think there are also often unspoken rules about nonbinary people, in identity-erasing ways. But that's a rant for another post.)

I've been lucky to not really encounter those erasure problems in IRL queer spaces in recent history - possibly because the ones I've been in have been heavily mixed on the gender/sexuality spectrum.

I feel like a lot of this is very dependent on local norms. I think the more conservative an area is, the harder it is for people to embrace anyone who doesn't fit cleanly into 2 categories. That goes for male/female/nonbinary, straight/gay/bi, top/bottom/vers, etc. It turns out the "fuzzy" categories are actually VERY common. But binaries are easier for people to grasp.

But I feel like I've rambled on enough. In short, these days, I think my butchness & my local context both sort of shield me from some of the common bi problems. Which is lucky for me, but is absolutely a bullshit thing about culture that we all should work on fixing.

You're valid as a bi person, regardless of who you're in a relationship with (or not in a relationship with).

[the-space-jesus]

♪ Art dump!! ♪

My stuff isn't the best but here's some things that turned out decent/good! I have explanations for all of them, just look at the number that it says on the picture and uhh yeah I think you get it.

Ok they're kind of all over the place so I'm happy that I added the numbers. ANYWAYS!!

1- Hako is a silly little character that I've had for like a year or more now. Basically, he's a demigod/Half-God, a son of Ares (his dad hates him). Ares forces him to go through the same dreams every night, where he wears a helmet with "BLOODSHED"/"CAEDES" on it (which he also has IRL), and he has to fight and stuff. He also has a friend, son of Hermes, named Victory. Love them!!

2- Anastasia, my femme self rep! I don't have an ushanka (Russian trapper hat) yet, but I am going to buy one when I get paid. Very excited already, it's been my dream for like two years now!

3- Little sketch I did whilst listening to Hansel. No backstory or anything, well the backstory of the song. Just wanted to draw something eerie and long haired! (And experiment with how the hair and earrings move when the head is turned!)

4- The same 'character' as number 3, except a full body.

5- Anatomy practice. Overly simplified version of my character Alexandra/Sasha. In one universe she's this cool secret spy thing, in the other she's a gay theatre kid XD.

6- Ricky as a Zolarian in my style! (RTC obviously)

7- Redrew some very very old characters from a short story I wrote like a year ago called Blood On Snow (I'm so edgy I know). The top one doesn't have a name (it's in I-perspective) and is chronically depressed and dies and stuff and the bottom one is their guardian angel Dawn (don't mind his jawline PLEASE).

8- Two of my cat OC's!! Once again, a redraw from a year ago when I first made them. They both look a little different now and have much much more backstory and story and lore and their universe and other OC's in it are fully fleshed out. Top one is Smiley, bottom one is Eris.

9- My blogsona!! Yeah no that's it.

10- Two characters from this story I'm currently writing called Dark Is The Night (based on a Soviet era song). The left one is Aleksandr and the right one is Dmitri, yes I make 90% of everything I do Slavic ANY QUESTIONS? Basically they're uhh G A Y and have different thoughts of their relationship..wheras Dmitri is super wholesome and just loves spending time with Aleksandr and that they understand eachother n stuff, Aleks is..well..uhh..the fact that I had to block out his thoughts says enough I think.

WHEN WILL I STOP YAPPING ANYWAYS THANKS FOR PUTTING UP W ME!!

[winderlylandchime]

I have a question for you that might be a bit too much but I was watching QAF and started asking myself the same thing and I remember that I really liked reading your Brian Kinney post or something similar that was very interesting so I figured I’d ask you too. What are your favorite and least favorite things about the characters from QAF? Not just Britin but like all of them. Because all of them are perfect in their own way but also flawed so I was wondering what someone else might pick :)

Hello dear sweet anon!

Thank you for this ask, I love these types of questions (as everyone now knows, lol).

As you said, and I think it’s worth repeating, these characters all have good qualities and bad qualities and that is so real. None of us is perfect and all of us have bad qualities. I think that is what made this show so compelling (and why we’re all still so obsessed 20 years later). These characters were real (even if the situations they were in - take down a corrupt politician?! - were sometimes not the most realistic) and we could relate to all of them in some way.

The Characters of Queer as Folk…

Michael Novotny

Good - he is clearly a person who cares a lot about the people he loves - his mother, his friends, his uncle, his partner. He is a fandom guy. Here we all are talking about a show that was on the air 20 years ago, and this guy is obsessed with Captain Astro and other superheroes. He is one of us.

Bad - he has an idea of who people are that is very fixed and therefore when he wants the best for the people he loves, it is sometimes not based in who they are as a person in the here and now. Brian doesn’t do love or boyfriends, therefore he can never do love or boyfriends. This is very relatable, so many of us have trouble updating our idea of who someone is over the course of a long term relationship (platonic or romantic). He tends towards very codependent relationships. Also, go back and watch the beginning of his relationship with Ben. I’m not talking about breaking up early in their relationship about his serostatus, I’m talking about after they reunite and Debbie disapproves and Michael makes all these (very good) points about dating Ben but he does it… in front of Ben. CRINGE. AWKWARD. I WOULD ACTUALLY DIE IF SOMEONE DID THAT TO ME.

Ted Schmidt

Good - he is intelligent and kind, he has a biting sense of humor, he is loyal.

Bad - he has the world’s lowest self-confidence. Rather than just own his love of accounting and opera, he is ashamed of it. He has remarkable growth in this respect over the course of the series and I would argue he is the character that grows the most (and whose growth is not erased by the end of the series).

Emmett Honeycutt

Good - oh my god I love him so much. He is a femme queen and he lets his flame burn bright. He is kind and funny and can take a joke and dish it right back.

Bad - oof this one is hard because I do love him so much. I think he tends to want to shy away from the darkness and as a result when a loved one is going through a dark time (ahem Ted), he struggles to be able to help much beyond something surface level. His understanding of substance abuse disorders could be improved. Also, the party he plans for Ben’s birthday is full cringe racist.

Debbie Novotny

Good - she is fiercely protective and an ally to the gay boys of Liberty Avenue. She does not back down from a challenge. She has had to be strong as a young single mother and she did a good job with what she had to work with.

Bad - as a young single mother she and her son have a codependent relationship and this models that type of relationship for her son to develop with other people. Her protectiveness knows no loyalty, except to her son. Her “adoptive son” Brian gets the short end of the stick when his needs are in conflict with her son’s. Which makes sense, but then don’t pretend to be a mother to Brian. She thinks she knows better than people about what is good for them and what they need and this sometimes extends beyond advice giving (telling Brian to tell Justin he loves him after zucchini man) to taking action (as @kinnenvy rightly points out - telling Joan that Brian has cancer). Ma’am, you do not do that. Also, she uses the word fag (which I have no problem with queer people reclaiming but she is… not actually queer) and dates a cop, so she loses major ally points in my book.

Ben Bruckner

Good - he is very good looking. He is smart and driven. He brings an alternative perspective to the group. He honors who Michael is and allows him to let his fandom freak flag fly (we should all have partners and friends who do this, btw).

Bad - toxic positivity thy name is Ben Bruckner. Why does Ben have a flirtation with steroids? Because his “look on the bright side, glass half full, be positive” mentality does not allow for any negativity. And life has negativity in it. We need to acknowledge it and not push it away in order to deal with it. His understanding of Buddhism is incomplete and lacking (from my own study of Buddhism). Also, he is really freaking boring.

Melanie Marcus

Good - she is smart, she knows who she is as a Jewish dyke, and she is unapologetic. She is apparently a lawyer who specializes in everything from civil rights to custody to entrapment/indecent exposure (whatever Vic was charged with). She is able to change her mind (about getting married, etc.)

Bad - she cheats on her partner and then when her partner cheats on her she decides it’s different because biphobia. She is jealous of Brian and this warps her image of him. She is stubborn.

Lindsay Peterson

Good - she is kind and she loves fiercely. I like her relationship with Justin and the way she mentors him.

Bad - oof. I cannot scream enough about her decision to have Brian father Gus. First of all, her partner is jealous/doesn’t like him. I don’t know what type of long term relationships you’ve had, anon, but this is not how you treat your partner. Yes, she’s the one carrying the fetus but her partner should get veto power over the sperm donor (or father… more on that in a second). I cannot even imagine doing that to my spouse. We even had a brief moment of insanity where we contemplated having a kid so that isn’t something so difficult to imagine. Like, how do you do that? Then that brings me to her relationship with Brian. Maybe Lindsay is bisexual but can’t acknowledge because of biphobia (from the writers first and foremost, like I know biphobia was super acceptable in the early 2000s but c’mon, do better!), but having a crush on someone who will never love you back is something to work out in therapy. It’s not something to allow to go unchecked and wreck your relationship with your partner. Her crush, I would say, is worse than Michael’s because it’s almost like she doubts Brian when he says he is not interested in women. (Let’s reverse the situation and imagine a man constantly flirting with a lesbian and telling her how he imagined they would wind up together and how gross and boundary crossing that would seem.) Also, she has him in this box (Peter Pan) and again, refuses to acknowledge that he might grow and change. She gives him mixed messages - you need to grow and be a good partner to Justin but also this isn’t you and you need to remain you. Another mixed message? Oh you’ll just be the sperm donor, make a cameo appearance, etc. but then “You need to spend time with your son.” Obviously, people raise kids in all types of relationship configurations. But from my understanding, Brian was going to donate the sperm and Lindsay and Melanie would be the parents. So is he the sperm donor or is he the father? Both Brian and Melanie would like to know.

[alexawynters]

Question to the trans men out there, I am in need of some advice, please!!!

(People from home I think I cleared you out but if I missed you and you see this post - no you didnt)

So this is probably weird and please don't judge me, but.. how did you always know you were a guy? How did you know, did you feel like you were trapped in the wrong body, or were there other clues?

Just asking because.. well.. just for some background, I am afab lesbian, but when I was little my daycare once asked me which Disney character I'd like to be and I apparently said "Aladdin ", and I think about that a lot.

I also think about how I always felt wrong growing up, and then I learned about lesbians and I thought "oh I'm not in the wrong body, I'm just a lesbian".

But.. I don't know? Haha. Weird. My friends say I'm way too feminine in my mannerisms to ever be a dude the few times I've jokingly brought it up. Not sure if that's just the patriarchy and toxic masculinity or if they're right and I'm just super confused lol 🙃 I will absolutely give them that I do have what are considered to be feminine mannerisms and I am absolutely very in touch with my emotions (I will cry at the drop of a hat - I'm squishy, don't yell at me).

I've always been friends with girls, I've always liked/loved girls. I know for a fact I'm attracted to women, and I'm not overly fond of men. The few male friends I have are usually trans men, or gay men, but even they are few and far between.

I love video games, I love adventurous things like horse back riding or going to the shooting range, but I also love when my girl friends want to come spill the tea, I get super giddy, like come on girrrlll, spill! He said wHAT?! The AUDACITY!

But also I hate my body. Total body dysmorphia, I cry and vomit when I have to look in the mirror too long. To be clear this is not just because I am over weight although that certainly doesn't help. My tits are DDD and I mean they're fantastic if I wanna wear a blouse (barf), but if I wanna wear a t-shirt it makes like this weird shelf I hate it.

I look at men's bodies, even those not super fit, and I'm envious. The jaw, the shoulders. The fit of the clothes, ughhh I wish my clothes fit ME like that! I've tried! Multiple exercises, I've seen masc women say get rid of your curves to help build that physique but it never seems to do the job. Everyone compliments me on my highly hourglass figure. I hate it.

I see tiktok and Tumblr posts of trans men who are almost fully transitioned, and they look so happy in themselves, so confident. They look like how *I* want to look.

Growing up, any time I tried to wear anything I felt remotely comfortable in, my mother would say I looked like a "dyker-biker" (wtf even is that insult, mom???). Which isn't inherently anything bad, but the way she said it always made me feel like I should be ashamed, so I feel like I learned to avoid wearing the clothes I actually wanted to wear.

I hate dresses and skirts. I don't care what temperature it is outside. I would rather die than wear either. Shorts, pants, or nothing.

I've sort of tried to broach the topic with friends as I mentioned, and they always say I'm too feminine, or I would have to be gay (no offense men, no thank you). Don't get me wrong our entire friend group is queer lf some sort with the exception of two token straight friends, so the topic should be safe with them if I qanted to bring it up more seriously. But the brushing it off has me terrified. They used to talk about a former friend of ours for example when we were in college and you know figuring ourselves out, who used to waffle between their identity and we all (I'm ashamed to say I went along eith it) said they were just doing it for the attention or to go with the flavor of the month.

Well.. I don't want them to think that about me. Karma is a bitch haha. Especially not my best friend. She's been my best friend for almost two decades, we've had ups and downs, we've grown, we've been through everything together. She's like my sister. I don't know what I would do if I figured this out, made some decision, and lost her because of it.

I know that's doing her and our friendship a disservice, we have grown, we aren't in hs or college anymore. She is the most caring and understanding person I've ever met, but I'm so, so scared.

That's not even to speak of my family. My mother took twenty five years to properly accept that I'm gay. She nearly crashed the car when I first came our (not my best timing tbf). My mother and I have finally made great strides in repairing our relationship, I'm not sure I want to rock the boat with even trying to figure this out.

I thought when I moved from Mississippi to Denver that I would leave everything and everyone behind and start over completely so I could figure this out. That didn't happen because life is fucking expensive and I ended up moving with some friends back home, I haven't really made any new friends and I certainly haven't let go of the old. I'm terrified to explore any of this, but I'm so tired of feeling miserable and not feeling like I'm myself. I don't know who that person is yet but I'm 34 and I want to finally finally figure that out and then be them.

So I guess I'm wondering, how do you know? How do you know who you are? And is it possible that I could just be a straight man in a woman's body? While still maintaining my mannerisms? Or maybe I'm just supposed to be a butch 'bean? But that doesn't feel right either. Idk lol pls send help haha I'm not crying while I write this or anything it's fine.

Also sorry this is all over the place.

[enlighten3d]

okok soo gonna try to put a timeline for janette and adele’s relationship/story! (in order)

-They both meet at the town’s pub (adele being there after an argument with josh, her husband, and janette being there after a problem at the church)

-They end up flirting, adele lying about being married and end up hooking up basically (but before that janette explained her being aro-spec to just put put there that she isn’t wanting anything romantic and adele pretended to listen)

-They then end up in a friends with benefits relationship (adele’s husband josh is oblivious to this she’s definitely not telling him) for a couple of months and janette says that she hopes they can be friends as well

-Adele refuses that, since she has very complex feelings about aro-spec people (adele your arophobia is showinggg/hj) and thought they had a romantic relationship(since she didn’t believe janette) and they don’t speak for a while after an argument over that

-During that time, Janette has to (forced by her mum’s ghost) carry out a ritual of sorts to solidify a next heir to run the cult when janette’s dead and she doesn’t want to give up her nephew so she chooses a girl named Carmela (i have lore for her too) and due to the prophecy (that this ritual is based off) carmela has to hurt/kill a loved one, and it ends up being her boyfriend ryan beckett, adele’s son!

-This ends up with him loosing an arm and adele immediately knows who’s behind this (janette) and decides to carry out her own form of revenge (of her son and herself since she thinks janette was manipulative in their short lived relationship- adele darling stop making things worse)

-Said revenge ends up being burning down the cult building and Janette ends up being in it when that happens and she burns alive (uh oh) and adele thinks that’s been taken care of

-Until Janette comes back alive thanks to weird monster/spirits that give her life basically except with a catch- which is that if she cuts her skin in anyways, blue flowers and vines will burst through her skin and probably kill her again

-She���s forced to stay out of the town since if she walked back in, she’d be killed on sight (weird rules that i can explain) so she has to figure out how to kill adele

AND THATS ALL I HAVE! FOR NOW! So basically yeahh adele is kind of a shitty person!!! I have more lore for all the characters so if you have any questions pls do send them my way! (i live for questions about my lore/hj) :D these characters stay in my head aghh toxic yuri beloved uhmm okok byee this was longer than i thought oopsies

(sry this took a hot sec to reply to)

oooh boy.. this truly is VERY toxic yuri... i want to fight adele ngl. as an aromantic person, i am staring at her and Judging.

adele is on some shit.. sgdhdnf

ARSON. ARSON AS REVENGE 👍👍 IS YOUR SONS ARM GONE?? ARE YOU AROPHOBIC AND VERY GAY?? THE SOLUTION IS ARSON.

gods i feel bad for josh... he knows Nothing. poor guy.

OOH THATS FUN.. (janette being cursed like that). are bruises and shit okay?? if its severed skin specifically... oh boy yeah shes not gonna last long is she.. paper is her mortal enemy...

whys she gotta stay out of town?

ALSO WHAT DOES THE CULT WORSHIP. I AM SO CURIOUS. IS THE EXISTENCE OF THESE SPIRITS WIDESPREAD KNOWLEDGE, OR JUST SHIT THAT THIS CULT KNOWS?

was adele insane before she met janette or was she always this way

does janette know it was adele who started the fire...

WHAT ARE CARMELAS THOUGHTS ON ALL THIS (esp the having to fuck up her boyfriend... do they break up afterwards.. does he know it was her...)

i have so many questions /pos

[wilderhockey]

nhl teams as school clubs/student orgs

the result of a 15-minute conversation with lil @wymgreenteam this afternoon. based specifically on our experience in hs (also note that I’ve been out of hs for four years now so some of this might be misremembered but whatever it’s about the vibes).

this is not necessarily kind to all (or really any) teams but it is light-hearted and in good fun.

I put it under a readmore because 32 teams is a lot of teams

~

anaheim ducks: theater (actors specifically) - dramatic as fuck. loud as fuck. endearing in spite of it [see sharks/kings]

arizona coyotes: not a club. they’re the guys who show up to school in their tractors from october to march because the weather is fucking terrible and they’ve gotta get there somehow (thanks mn)

boston bruins: key club - self-important for no particular reason. also this is a club where you pay to do community service, which is just fundamentally wrong in the same way I feel when I see the bruins’ meth bear

buffalo sabres: swim team - wet. no I will not elaborate.

calgary flames: garden club - I didn’t even know we had a garden club until lil suggested this

carolina hurricanes: model UN - super well-run, they’ve got some nice kids involved, but I dislike them on principle

chicago I’m not writing out their team name: lacrosse - universally hated except by themselves and often take insults as compliments. also the worst punishment I can think of for a hockey team is telling them they remind me of lax bros

colorado avalanche: empowering women’s club - mostly performative but sometimes (when they can get the whole group together) they do fun things

columbus blue jackets: student section - they’re all college kids sorry it just fits

dallas stars: gender and sexuality alliance - listen. I don’t know what’s going on down there, but I can tell you it’s definitely gay

detroit red wings: cross-country - sometimes the rookies are good but everything else about them is forgettable

edmonton oilers: knowledge bowl - connor mcdavid reminds me of kb kids. leon draisaitl would be that guy who knows fuck-all answer-wise but can hit the buzzer super early and always knows what the question is asking. they just have neatly partitioned tasks for everyone and it sometimes works. yes I did kb for 7 years can you tell

florida panthers: FCA (fellowship of christian athletes) - the combination of donuts and christian rock at every meeting leveled out to a net zero

la kings: theater (tech crew specifically) - black and white outfits and idk sneaky vibes? they feel like a variety show in the same way tech does [see ducks/sharks]

minnesota wild: marching band - they’re dumb. they love each other. pranks are inevitable. some gay shit is happening. the director has very little control

montreal canadiens: magic the gathering club - just some kids hanging out. j chillin. one-sided feud with costco. vaguely hostile but in a blatantly self-defensive way

nashville predators: baseball - they were good for a while one time but now they’re just sad and middling

new jersey devils: speech - it’s fun when you’re not worried about winning, it’s a great group, but the moment you start paying attention to numbers you will cry

new york islanders: volleyball - bitchy vibes. and mat barzal’s tiny shorts

new york rangers: quiz bowl - to quote lil, they “aren’t smart enough for [knowledge bowl]” but also zero teamwork despite individual prowess

ottawa senators: robotics (FRC specifically) - they’re constantly falling apart but when it works it Works. also lots of freaks of many varieties (affectionate)

philadelphia flyers: that one political club a couple of my friends started junior year. pac or something? - it was going fine and then it changed management and now. hm.

pittsburgh penguins: student council - overachievers (affectionate). somewhat ineffective but they’re putting the effort in

san jose sharks: theater (pit specifically) - oft forgotten, but generally chill [see ducks/kings]

seattle kraken: chess club - to quote lil, “good vibes. don’t do anything, just here for fun.” I agree

st. louis blues: choir - rancid vibes. (I was a choir kid I’m allowed to say the vibes were rancid bc they were)

tampa bay lightning: honor society - overachievers (derogatory)

toronto maple leafs: lettuce club - for anyone unfamiliar, this is a club where every year, everyone interested sits at a table and simultaneously consumes an entire head of lettuce. whoever does it fastest is the Head of Lettuce for the next year. I have no fucking clue what they did at the rest of their meetings. leafs vibes

vancouver canucks: anime club - what the fuck is going on over there don’t look pretend you don’t see them and it’ll be fine (affectionate)

vegas golden knights: debate - this is for nolpats specifically I know he’s in LTIR hell but this is for him

washington capitals: that’s just the teacher’s union

winnipeg jets: football - they were never good but people go for the social aspect not the score

[internerdionality]

20 Questions for FanFic Authors

Tagged by @dragonmuse, thank you! 🥰

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

39. I've been publishing since 2020, so a relative newbie, and I apparently can't write actual short works to save my life. I'm looking forward to hitting 50 fics, maybe even before the end of the this year, although that might be overly optimistic.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

817,200. Also looking forward to hitting a million! I started writing fanfic in part because of Diane Duane's post about the first million words being for practice, but I've realized as I've gone that fanfic is also just more fun in a lot of ways than original work, because it's lower stakes and more silliness and really all about the community.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Our Flag Means Death and the DC universe. I have a long crossover plotted out in the Slayerverse but I haven't published any of it yet, and one fic (I think my shortest) that I wrote to expiate my feels for the fourth Matrix movie. Oh! And a few Good Omens, only one published so far.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor? , Our Flag Means Death, Izzy/Everyone + Canon Pairings. I started writing this one literally the night after I finished watching the show in late April 2022 and managed to hit the wave of gay pirate frenzy as the fandom was born. I swear I'll finish it. 😅

A Fucking Duel, Our Flag Means Death, endgame SteddyHands with some strong Sprizzy side-action. This started out as crack, again very early in the gay pirate brainrot, and then turned novella size on me when I wasn't looking.

To Err is Human, to Purr is Batman. DC. Shades of SuperBat but mostly Bat-Family focused. I turn Bruce Wayne into a cat. Pure fluff.

Mutually Beneficial. DC, SuperBat. Classic identity porn romcom with a sugar daddy twist. Nonbinary Clark Kent. My first fanfic on AO3!

Soaked to the Skin. Our Flag Means Death, Sprizzy with a side of BlackHands, my take on how things would go for the Revenge right after the first season ended, doesn't include any of the characters who weren't on the ship during SO1E10. Double the length of any other fic I've ever written!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I am a praise-gremlin and treasure every comment I receive. I also include answering comments in my total word count for the day (I made a resolution during the HHD 5781-82 to write more, and while it took me a little bit to get started, I have written at least 250 words a day since mid-December 2021). So answering comments often gets me pumped for writing more fic!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Disregarding the prequels in the big dark vampire romp (which aren't really standalone) probably a tie between the surprise twists at the ends of Untethered and Gently in the Night? Both fics end happily but then have a little angsty setup for the sequel at the very end.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Definitely Mutually Beneficial. Most of my fics end happily but I usually try to leave them somewhat open without doing a lot of epilogueish kind of things. MB was an exception where I wrote two fluffy epilogues with lots of romance and sex because I didn't want to leave my boys! Although honestly now when I think back on it I think it would have been a stronger work if I'd ended it right after the climax and posted the fluffy epilogues as separate works.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

There was this one unregistered user who went through all my SuperBat fics and engaged in this long comment thread where he accused me of not liking Clark Kent? (Which, almost all my DC fics have Clark as the protagonist, I adore him, so). It was very surreal. I eventually just deleted it every time they'd write a new comment and they stopped after like two or three of those.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Lots of smut! It's actually just in the past year that I've stretched myself to write more Gen-ish fics with WDYDWADS and TEIH, and it somewhat surprised me that those became my two most popular fics in their respective fandoms.

As far as what kind, I really try to diversify but the strongest commonalities tend to be strong power dynamics, bondage, pain-play, and consent-play, with my darkest stuff going hard into noncon. I have fluid squicks so I tend to avoid anything in that area.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

The only one I have published is the Our Flag Means Death/Pirates of the Caribbean (which seems pretty obvious, I'm honest surprised there isn't more). I have the whole arc plotted out where the vampire!DCU series is going to branch out into the Slayerverse. Hopefully I'll actually write it one of these days.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. I don't go looking, but my works aren't crazy popular, either.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple! I'm always really honored. 🥰 Many thanks to people who labor for fandom.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did a long entirely cowritten canonized fiction for Steve Stirling's Emberverse—it's published on his site, not AO3, and under my real name, so don't go looking! (Nah, JK, I won't link it but I don't care if people figure it out).

And then I wrote this companion piece to Rimbaud's Give Pearls Away and Rubies. I had nothing to do with his piece, but he consulted heavily on mine. And Dragonmuse and I starting workshopping a Dragonriders of Pern pastiche that we might finish one of these days. 🤣

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Can I say the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one? It's the platonic ideal of a ship, really... 😂

Otherwise I really don't have one, I'm too poly for that. Even the ships I'm most feral about, I'll ship any of them with other people.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I won't say the DCU/Slayerverse crossover because I refuse to doubt that I'll finish it one day. So let's go with the JLA bad orgy crack—I actually posted on that one that it should be considered abandoned. I still love the idea but I kinda just ran out of steam.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Exposition, worldbuilding, delving into character emotions. Metaphors and whimsy.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Having actual plots. Action scenes. Actually finishing/ending anything.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I speak enough French and Hebrew to do either of those (and have).

I've done a very little Spanish for Jim from OFMD, but I tend to just copy actual stuff that they've said in canon. I do have a Puerto Rican friend that I've leaned on occasionally, but she's busy and I don't want to make it her job to constantly write dialogue for me so I usually try to avoid it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Define "wrote." 😂

When I was a teenager I plotted out long self-insert fixits for Star Trek, Harry Potter (look, even then the only thing I wanted to do in that verse was fix its many sins), X-Files, Stargate, and Buffy. I never wrote any of them down, though, just enjoyed the daydreaming.

Well, I lie, I did actually write about 60K eventually in an original novel that was based on some of the dynamics I'd created in the HP one, but that's the only one I ever got out on paper and it was altered enough that its origin was pretty unrecognizable.

If we're counting published anywhere, it's Stirling's Emberverse.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Soaked to the Skin. I'm honestly so proud of the actual! plot! in that one, the narrative flow, the emotional arcs, and like. the fact that I actually finished it. Even now a year later, every time I get a comment or kudo on that fic it sends this thrill of happiness up my spine.

Tagging (only if you want it), @thetardigrape, @sunless-garden, and @jupitermelichios.

[kalamity-jayne]

If I may ask, how do I come out to my homophobic family in the future? I have told no one in person that I'm a GNC lesbian, except for my therapist and a handful of friends at school. It's a scary thought and as dumb as this request seems, I just need some reassurance and advice. Thanks, Miss Jayne 💛

Hello dear! Apologies for my extremely slow response! I hope I’m not too late with this advice!

First off, your request is absolutely not dumb! So, my first piece of advice: Be kinder to yourself. We all deserve to be supported in times of need and there should be no shame in seeking it from your community. What you’re about to do is no small thing, even for those with supportive families!

Now, as always, I have to give give the caveat that I don’t have the full context of your situation so there may be flaws in the advice I give but you are of course welcome to follow up with me in the notes and we can have more of a back and forth.

Without further ado, lets get into it.

I am so sorry that your family is homophobic, whether their bigotry is quietly casual or openly hostile, they are hurting you.

You deserve better!

Now, before we can address the question of how to come out to your family it's important to ask yourself whether you should come out to them at all. According to your blog header you're a minor and that unfortunately means your parents or legal guardians (for the time being lets table the issue of siblings) have a good deal over power over you. DO NOT COME OUT TO YOUR FAMILY OR ANYONE ELSE IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMPLETELY SAFE WITH THEM! If you were an adult I'd maybe say proceed with coming out but because you're a minor you shouldn't out yourself unless you are reasonably sure it wouldn't result in violence, getting kicked out of your house, having money for college withheld, or unfair restrictions on your freedom (such as who you're allowed to be friends with), etc etc.

You need to step back and look at the bigger picture. Take your time to consider all of the angles and determine when you'll achieve full independence from your parents. Is it simply a matter of turning 18? When will you be able to move out and live on your own terms? Do you need them to pay for college? At what point will you no longer need them for anything? Independence here is when your parents can no longer materially affect the arc of your life. Once you've figured out where that threshold is, break down the steps and milestones you need to get there. Then you just have to keep your head down, stay out of trouble, focus on school and get good grades, save as much money as you can, and take every step you can to ensure you can to be free of them as soon as possible and never ever take your eyes off that prize.

Try to remember that the time between your current age and when you reach legal adulthood is going to go by fast. It may be hard to believe that now because you're young and very much in it but one day you will wake up with another decade or two under your belt and these teenage years will feel like a short but formative blip. Having said that, how do you maintain your sanity in the meantime? Find the people and places where you can safely be yourself! Got a friend who's gay or an ally and their whole family are proud diehard LGBTQ allies? Think of them as your surrogate family and spend as much time there as you can. Is there a queer safe space the kids at your school like to hang out? Go frequently! Do whatever you have to do to survive so long as it doesn't come at the cost of your own well being long term.

Now, let's say a few years have passed and you are officially free and independent. How to come out.

Coming out to unsupportive family is a minefield. However, especially once you've become an adult, you have a very good sense of where those landmines are which means you can probably predict and anticipate how they'll react which again will mitigate any potential harm to you because you saw the hit coming and were ready for it.

The most important thing is figuring out the shape of your boundaries and asserting them without flinching. Know your triggers and who's really good at getting under your skin, and plan out what you're going to say to assert your boundary ahead of time. For example: Whenever I talk to my parents they inevitably want to discuss the trans news of the day and let's be real, that news is usually very unpleasant and as soon as I'm done talking to them I tend to spin out in emotional distress because their attempts at virtue signaling are a reminder of how they rejected me as a nascently trans teenager. So now whenever my parents try to discuss trans issues I shut them down by saying, "I don't want to talk about that stuff with you cause I see it and live it everyday."

That brings me to the next aspect of being prepared. Set your self up for success. Don't attempt these conversations when you're not in the right headspace for them. Don't have the conversation at a time/place when/where you'll be distracted and remove any distractions that maybe present or come up. Make sure you're comfortable and do whatever you have to do to reduce the pressure of the situation, such as writing out what it is you want to say ahead of time, maybe even practice with friend.

Because your family is homophobic, I strongly recommend coming out to them over the phone (again, only works when you're fully independent). This way you will be safer and more secure in yourself and you can have an ally there with you, which I also strongly recommend doing. Whoever is in your corner, bring them in because their presence will give you confidence, and if you get hurt by your family they are there to hold you immediately and help you process the conversation when it's over. Do not hesitate to reach out to your people out of some misplaced concern that you'd be bothering them True friends will never be bothered or put out by a call for support. Real friends will be happy that you reached out to them for help.

Now comes the bitter pill I'm afraid. Because your family is homophobic and likely to react like a bunch of shit-asses, you have to be prepared to cut some or all of them out of your life completely. If they are unwilling to change and accept you for who you are, then you need to protect yourself from their toxicity. People are fond of saying, "you can't pick your family" and "family is everything," but I call that load of bs. Is your family's love really love if it's conditional on you living a lie? Don't fall for the hallmark channel nonsense about families and parents that our culture is constantly forcing down our throats because love is a two way street and you are under no obligation to maintain relationships with people who reject you and treat you like garbage. This is yet another reason why I would wait until you're an independent adult. Cutting out your family of origin isn't so bad when you've built a chosen family around yourself first.

I hope this advice was helpful and please feel free to follow up in the notes. Also, know that I'm rooting for you. Everyone reading this is rooting for you. Just hang in there a little longer cause freedom is just around the corner.

Sincerely,

❤️Mother Calamity❤️

[the-ace-with-spades]

This is a personal rant just so I can get it out of me before I talk to my manager so feel free to ignore if I do post it

Working in healthcare and being a trans guy that doesn't completely pass sucks. And not because of the patients, the patients are sweethearts about it 9 out of 10 times -- I had a 100 yo lady who asked me if I'm a boy or a girl more politely than most of my co-workers and then who tried to respect it harder than most of them too, and a gent that was absolutely the rudest 60 yo guy ever but still asked me what my pronouns were so he could cuss me out using correct insults.

My real name is stereotypically masc. I didn't really pass at all when I started working where I work but now I pass about 60% and then the number keeps on going up because what always throws people off is either my hips or my voice --- which, both are changing now. Before I told everyone to go by a gender neutral nickname to not confuse patients or their family and let them think what they want (because I don't care what they think my gender is, I care about helping them to the best of my ability and arguing with them is not going to help anyone) -- which was talked about with my very supportive manager when I started working where I work -- everyone knew me only by my full masc name for like a month.

I don't like to assume malice from people so if someone kept on misgendering me despite that, I'd first assume they misheard my name and took away two letters from it and shuffled one (as unlikely as it was) or that they thought my parents were doing the new age thing and named their 'daughter' with a masc name because they could. So I take the person who misgenders me to the side and clarify 'hey, I'm transgender, so a guy who uses he/him, please try to use the correct pronouns. It's okay if patients misgender me, just go with the flow, but try to not misgender me first if you can help it. Thank you'. Always add that if they have questions, just ask me, I'll be your transgender encyclopedia because I don't mind educating people on the basics.

Currently, out of team of 70, I get gendered correctly by maybe 10 despite everyone knowing. One lady is absolutely brilliant about it and no wonder because she has a enby kid herself. There's a gay guy who likes to ask millions of questions and some of them are TMI but he always takes a 'I'm not replying to that' as a solid answer and apologizes for overstepping -- he even now understands the concept of deadnames and dysphoria and how HRT is helping. There's another guy who was thrown aback a bit but went along with everything fine after like two more explanations because it was new to him. There are some coworkers who will use the wrong pronouns and correct themselves and it isn't ideal but those are mostly people who don't have English as their first language and misgender everyone because their first language isn't gendered, patients and other co-workers included. Senior personnel are mostly okay, too, with the exception of one guy - aside from him, all band 6s and band 7s use proper pronouns and nouns when talking about me.

But our team's LGBT champion, another gay guy who has worked in healthcare for over 10 years, decided to tell me a story about Jamie, who worked with the team for a short while and was also a trans guy and he decided to tell me about him by saying, "His name used to be deadname tho and he was a she for a chunk of time he worked with us." The LGBT champion, the liaison who is supposed to be the hearing ear, the whistleblower for homophobia and transphobia on our team. Then he proceeded to talk about Jamie using he and she interchangeably. The LGBT champion.

I don't like to assume malice from people so I explained, once again, that calling someone by their past name they no longer use, telling it to someone who is virtually a stranger, is a no-no, like to a child. Then I got asked if I'm planning to do The Surgery. And what the fuck that means? There's so many different surgeries you can have as transmasc and even the bottom surgery isn't even a surgery -- it's more like 5 surgeries stacked on itself. So I explained again. And then a few days later you know what I heard when he talked to a pt's doctor mentioning me? 'She saw the xxx not me." I feel like a broken record.

And you know what happened? We got a transgender lady as our patient. Transitioned in her thirties, passing a bit better than me -- I was able to tell but most people probably wouldn't. She was getting gendered correctly until someone looked at her records where she admitted she is transgender for the sake of transparency --- our records have trans women as male but identifying female, which to me just sounds awful too but apparently was chosen by a group of LGBT champions from our region's trusts. And then boom, everyone changed their fucking tale -- he needs a different catheter, he is on bed rest, you don't have to bring him a bedpan, he can use bottles, etc. The poor woman was not only in distress because of her health but close to crying when the personnel that was supposed to be helping her, kept on misgendering her in front of other people. When I tried to calm her down, she said she hadn't felt so humiliated in years and that she wishes she never sought out help. I could only apologise to her and tell her I'm trans too and I'm sorry this is happening when she should only be focusing on her health.

By the time she was leaving our care, she told me I and one of the mentioned supportive guys are the only reason she's not making a formal complaint. I told her to make a formal complaint. I told her to mention me in it and I'll confirm it all.

The majority of those people worked in healthcare for over 10+ years. The majority of them have healthcare-related degrees that took 2-4 years to get.

I'm fed up with it. Doctors have training about transgender people in med school now and you can see that with the juniors and the younger ones. But the rest of the personnel just don't care or don't think it's real or whatever else. There's this kind of numbness in those healthcare professions, which are supposed to be caring, toward treating transgender people with respect and it seems like it's pushed away to the sidelines because transgender patients are so rare.

And the worst thing is, I don't know what can be done about it. If they don't care to educate themselves when they've got a living, breathing examples working with them, explaining stuff and willing to answer question, proving that trans people are real people with lives and stories and families, then how do you make them care?

[commander-gloryforge]

(@commanderhorncleaver) Number 15 for everybody uwu

EVERYBODY??? zthats like 50 people. more i think. okay. get ready. some of these characters im gonna name tumblr hasnt even seen yet.

How Gay Are They?

im going by age of the character btw. lets fucking go.

Azura: gay :) so gay that she gave her lover her only weapon so that she could protect herself

Dio: hey thats me!! it's a lesbian :) super gay

Sophia: lesbian in the magical girl way

Mina: normal (aroace) but their best friend is gay :)

Carry: heterosexual

Léa: PROBLEMATIC BISEXUAL

Brum: gay for every gender :)

Jue: also a problematic bisexual but with more glitter

Lysania: unproblematic bisexual :) gay as in happy :)

Violett: WOMEN WANT XEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naymarin: GAY FROM BEFORE THEY WERE BORN. so gay. met his gf in the dream. lesbianism in her veins.

Aurora: she doenst have much time to be gay but if she gets her hands on the gay feelings then thousands of people will die :)

Raja: normal amount of gay. pretty regular.

Mirella: SOOOOOOOOO GAY. gets hit in the face with the lesbianism.

Dergroße Winschenzo: there is no word that could hold the power of dergroße winschenzos love. he is all.

Temmie: hardcore femme lesbian. full of GAY!!! and also evil sometimes

Lilly: i dont know :)

Rosalind: bisexual lighting when she was born.

Dean: gay and likes it when men are very mean to him

Corra: very gay but forgets it sometimes because the love she has for the eternal alchemy is stronger than any attraction.

Lucius: 11/10 on the gay scale and it should scare you

Vita: if gay means happy then she is the gayest :) if gay means liking women then thats also correct

Ophelia: she has no time being gay shes too busy being scared

Tora: i think a pretty normal amount of gay. i think rather regular. i think normal.

Rebekka: gay but in a very secretive evil but halfway through redemption kind of way

Eryn: the only thing they attract is unstable fractals :) theres no gay

Narcissa: i am too scared to ask but that old evil face sure looks gay

Jisoo: lesbiab :)

Iira: gay and would commit warcrimes for its lover. (has no lover but wants one so she can commit warcrimes for them)

Ninyann: what is a gay :) doesnt know anything sorry

Indigo: gay and embarassingly so. hey stop looking at jisoo there is a bear mauling you. hey. he

Alastor: proper amount of gay. may not have realised it yet.

Frost: frost is the representation of (one of) my genders so i think they should be the same amount of gay as me. i think theyre gay in the way being a pretty guy in a wedding dress with frost bite is gay. gay in the way finding you best friend dead in a field of pansies covered with purple blood and vines piercing their heart is gay. i th

Dazii: makes bombs. i think thats pretty gay

Astrid: god created bisexuality for her

Yoonsu: fighting his demons (homosexuality)

Thyrynn: gay in a sitting in a library and reading about forgotten legends way

Izzy: OUGHHHHHHHHHH CRITICAL HIT!!!! GAY!!!!!

Nadira: you wabt to know if shes gay? you want to know? when shes wearing the clothing of her gf at all times? when she has made an effort to learn everything about her gfs culture and history that she can find? you want to know if nadira is gay??? how gay she is???? take a guess. go on take a guess. how gay is she, hm?? how gay

Hilda: she was made to be my gfs characters gf. she exists only to be a lesbian. its her one destiny.

Rhea: *writes love songs about her crush* *cries after concert because girl in the audience was too pretty* *talks to ghosts about being too in love to function*

Junko: not only are they lesbian but they also have two gay people in their HEAD which adds up.

Darryean: cowboy

Rian: studies astrology. he looks at the stars and goes "oh youre a libra :/" thats gay

Kyandri: hey shes just a little shroomie :) she doesnt know how gay she is :) a lot probably

Ambrose: VAMPIRE!!!! BITES MEN!!!!! IN THE NECK!!!!!!!!!

Kaari: average bisexual

Daeonna: i dont know if shes gay but judging by how mean she is.... probably

Aryel: do you want an essay do you want a fucking ewsay on how gay he is. do you want that. do you want me to describe in detail how gay he is. how he felt when he met his lover for the first time. his emotions. his admiration. his pure beatiful love. do you want to read into every last bit of aryel lore and figure out how fucking gay he is. do you think you can handle that??? i dont think so. oh let me show you how fucking gay aryel is alright lket me show yo

Soleil: canach liker (gay)

Prima: the word lesbian was created for her HEY!!!!!!!!!!!! gay girl. get a grip.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Valentine’s Day Blues

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: In the midst of planning Valentine’s Day and his brothers party, Tom forgets your birthday

happy birthday to @bluelilly21 !! 🥳

Masterlist

The first time you met Tom, you were crashing his brothers birthday party. In your defense, it was Valentine’s Day, as well as your birthday, and you didn’t want to be alone. So when your best friend said she was going with her boyfriend to some party, you tagged along.

“Hey mate. Thanks for the party. We’re gonna be heading out soon.” Tuwaine shouted over the music of Harry and Sam’s birthday party.

“Thanks so much for coming.” Tom said as he pulled him into a hug. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“You too, mate. Wait one second.” Tuwaine turned around and found his girlfriend in the crowd. “I want you to meet my girlfriend”.

“Hi. I’m Yara.” A girl came from behind Tuwaine and put her hand out to shake Tom’s.

“And I’m bored.” You announced as you stumbled into Yara’s arms. “Can we go, please?”

“In a minute.” She laughed as she held you up. “I haven’t said goodbye to everyone yet.”

“But I did and if I stick around it’ll be awkward.” You whined in her ear, making Tom laugh. Yara gave Tom a look that told him this wasn’t her first time having to take care of you.

“I said my goodbyes already. I could stay with you until Yara is done.” Tom offered. You picked your head off of Yara’s shoulder and squinted at Tom, finally noticing that he was standing there.

“Yeah. Why don’t you stay with Tom?” Yara spoke in a motherly tone as she helped you stand up straight.

“But I don’t know him.” You whispered to her, just loud enough for Tom to hear. He understood you not wanting to be left alone with a stranger while drunk, so he didn’t take any offense to it.

“He’s Tuwaine’s best friend.” She assured you. “I wouldn’t leave you alone with someone I didn’t trust.”

“Okay.” You sighed before facing Tom. “But don’t try anything. I have a gun.”

“She doesn’t.” Yara whispered behind her hand. “Play nice.”

“Bite me.” You nipped at her, making her laugh.

“I will.” She smiled and pulled you into a hug. “Love you, girl.”

“Love you.” You mumbled before letting her go. She disappeared back into the crowd, leaving you alone with Tom. You were a little too drunk to remember your manners, so you just stared at him, unapologetically sizing him up.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Tom.” Tom reached out to shake your hand.

“Y/n.” You told him as you dapped him up. Tom laughed a little at your movement and checked you out.

“How come I haven’t seen you before?” He asked, taking a step closer so you could hear him over the music.

“Excuse me.” You put on a voice. “I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. And I’m new in town.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Tom frowned. “Do you need a place to sleep tonight?”

“Dude, I’m joking.” You laughed in shock. “Haven’t you heard of John Mulaney?”

“No.” Tom shook his head. “Is he your friend?”

“He’s a comedian.” You said like it was obvious. “Don’t they have comedy in England?”

“Our teeth are pretty funny looking.” Tom shrugged, making you smile.

“Hm.” You looked him up and down. “Cute and funny.”

“So how much of what you just told me was true?” Tom asked as he took a sip of his drink.

“Nothing except for the fact that I’m new in town.” You seemed to sober up a little. “But Yara and I go way back.”

“Same with me and Tuwaine.”

“I know. He’s been talking you up to me for a year now.” You chuckled as you pulled a water bottle out of your bag.

“Has he?” Tom raised an eyebrow. “What did he say?”

“That what you lack in height you make up for in charm.” You insulted him flirtatiously.

“What’s the verdict?” Tom stepped closer again. “Was he right?”

“You’d really let me sleep at your place if I was homeless?” You questioned him and you decided whether you liked him or not.

“I would.”

“Well, then he was right.” You batted your eyelashes and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “You’re definitely short.”

“Damn.” Tom shook his head as you pulled away laughing.

“I’m sorry.” You chuckled. “But you’re pretty charming as well.”

“Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.” Tom flirted.

“Guess what?” You went up on your tip toes to whisper in his ear. “It’s my birthday today.”

“Is it really?” He asked. “It’s my brothers birthday too.”

“Isn’t this their party?” You realized, and Tom nodded. “I hope you don’t mind I tagged along with Yara. I just broke up with my boyfriend and I didn’t want to be alone.”

“I don’t mind at all.” Tom told you. “I’m sorry about your breakup. Now that I know you’re single, you know what it really makes me want to do?”

“What’s that?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Get you a cab and make sure you get home safe.” Tom smiled softly as you as he gave you a comforting squeeze on your arm.

“That would be lovely.” You said in appreciation. You took Tom by the hand and began to walk with him towards the exit. “I’m glad I met you Tom.”

“I’m glad I met you too, darling.”

You didn’t kiss him that night, though you wanted to. It took about a month of knowing each other for you to finally kiss him. But once you did, you were inseparable.

It was a full year since the party, meaning yours and the twins birthday had come around again. It was also Valentine’s Day, your very first one with Tom. You woke up before him and walked into the kitchen, smiling at the dozen roses he had set on the table. Next to the roses was a box of chocolates at your spot at the kitchen table, but no birthday card. You furrowed your eyebrows a little but didn’t have time to think about it when your phone rang. You answered it and thanked the person for the birthday wishes as Tom entered the room.

“Sorry.” You smiled as you put your phone down. “I had a phone call.”

“Good morning. Happy Valentine’s days.” Tom’s voice was husky with sleep as he pulled you into a long kiss.

“Happy Valentine’s Day to you too.” You smiled against his lips before kissing him again.

“I have to call my brothers before I forget.” Tom kissed your forehead before pulling away. “Then I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Yeah.” You narrowed your eyes at him to see if he was joking. “You wouldn’t want to forget a birthday.”

Tom didn’t take the hint as your phone began to ring again.

“Your phone is ringing again?” He raised his eyebrows. “Someone’s popular.”

“I guess I am.” You mumbled, realizing that he had indeed forgotten. You took your phone call and tried to give Tom the benefit of the doubt. It was his brothers birthday, after all. Maybe he was just waiting to say it to them first. You came back to the kitchen after the call just as Tom was putting pancakes on the table.

“There you are.” He grinned and made grabby hands at you. “I want to spend every second together until the party. It kinda sucks our first Valentine’s Day together is also my brothers birthday. I’d rather spend the day with you.”

“It’s okay.” You shrugged sadly. “Birthdays are important.”

“I know.” He ironically agreed. “Maybe we can leave early and have some alone time.”

“Sure baby.” You faked a smile. “Let’s just eat, okay?”

You didn’t want to fight with him, especially on Valentine’s Day, so you made peace and sat down with him to eat breakfast. You were hurt that he had forgotten your birthday, but he at least remembered Valentine’s Day. You decided that that was better than nothing and tried to push it from your mind.

Tom had a few last minute errands to run before his brothers party, which you were slightly relieved about. You didn’t really want to spend the day with him after he forgot your birthday. He kissed you goodbye multiple times, harping on how sorry he was to leave you on Valentine’s Day. You sighed deeply once he left, feeling tears threaten your eyes in his absence. Every time he mentioned the party or Valentine’s Day, you were reminded that he had forgotten about you.

Tom came home once you had already started getting ready. You had your dress on and were talking a phone call as he got dressed.

“Are you almost ready to go, love?” Tom asked as he buttoned his shirt.

“One minute.” You mouthed as you pointed to your phone. The conversation finished up quickly and you hung up.

“Did someone leak your phone number or something?” Tom wondered. “It’s been going off all day.”

“Oh, you know.” You shrugged, not wanting to start something. “It’s a special occasion.”

“Valentine’s day is not that special.” He laughed as he came behind you to look in the mirror. “But you look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” You smiled tightly as you put in your earrings. Tom went in to kiss you, but you moved so he’s only get your cheek. He clocked your strange behavior but shrugged it off as he grabbed his keys.

~

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH!” Yara screamed from across the room when she saw you at the party. She ran to you and threw her arms around you, squeezing you tightly. She kissed both your cheeks before placing a tiara on your head.

“There. So everyone knows you’re the birthday girl.” She smiled proudly as she fixed your hair.

“Thank you.” You grinned as you squeezed her hands. “I appreciate you.”

“Well it’s my best friends birthday. I had to do something.” She shrugged playfully. “What did Tom get you?”

“Tom forgot.” You blurted, trying to keep a straight face. “He hasn’t said anything yet.”

“What?” Yara’s face fell. “He threw his brothers this party but didn’t even wish you a happy birthday?”

“There’s a lot going on today.” You tried to defend him. “He wished me a happy Valentine’s Day. And he got me roses.”

“It’s your birthday.” She didn’t let up. “It is his girlfriends birthday. He should know that.”

“It’s okay.” You shrugged it off, but she could tell you were upset.

“It’s not.” She didn’t let up. “Where is he now?”

“Last time I saw him, he was with Tuwaine.” You told her. “I didn’t really want to be around him right now.”

“Good.” Yara nodded as she fixed your hair. “Leave him be until he figures it out.”

“Is that the birthday girl?” A familiar voice came from behind you, making you smile.

“Happy birthday, you two.” You greeted Sam and Harry as you handed them separate birthday cards.

“Happy birthday to you too, princess.” Harry teased as he flicked your tiara. They pulled you into a group hug that lingered while Sam rubbed your back.

“This is for you.” Sam handed you a card.

“And this is from us.” Harry winked as he handed you a small black box.

“Thanks guys.” You smiled in appreciation. “I put your gifts in the back room. Should I get them?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Sam waved his hand. “Open it.”

You opened the box and found a thin black brackets with a straight metal pendant. The pendant had dots and lines going across it, making you look at the twins in confusion.

“It says “Holland” is Morse code. We have them too.” Harry explained as he showed you his matching bracelet.

“It’s to show that you’re part of our family now.” Sam added. “So people know you’re our sister.”

“Thats…” ,you stared at the bracelet for a moment, feeling sentimental tears coming to your eyes, “that’s really sweet, guys. Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

You pulled them into another group hug before letting them get back to their party.

“They remembered.” Yara gave you a pointed look.

“I should probably get back to the party.” You changed the subject, not wanting to sit in self pity. “Thank you for the tiara. You’re the best best friend I could ask for.”

“You’re welcome.” Yara told you as she hugged you tightly. “Happy birthday. I’m sorry your boyfriend is dumb.”

You gave her a look before heading back to the main area of the party. The second you saw Tom, you felt a disappointment in your stomach. He was laughing and having a good time while you were upset. You wished you didn’t care as much as you did, but you were hurt. He had forgotten your birthday and didn’t seem to care.

“Hey. There you are.” Tom smiled when he spotted you, already tipsy as he tried to hug you. “Are you enjoying the party?”

“Yeah.” You said flatly and moved away from him. “I’m gonna go get a drink.”

Tom pouted briefly at your odd behavior as Yara and a friend of yours approached him.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Your friend, KC, shouted over the music.

“She just left to get a drink.” Tom told her. “She’ll be back soon.”

“Good.” KC nodded. “I have to wish her happy birthday. I called her first thing this morning but I want to tell her in person.”

“It’s my brothers birthday, actually.” Tom corrected her. “They’re over by the pool table.”

“I know.” She laughed shortly. “But it’s Y/n’s birthday too.”

“She’s a Valentine’s baby.” Yara said sweetly while shooting daggers at Tom. “Isn’t that so cute?”

“What?” Tom jutted his head back. “It’s not her birthday. Her birthday is-“

“Today.” KC raised an eyebrow at Tom. “Did you not know?”

“I think he knew.” Yara stated with a hand on her hip. “He just forgot.”

“Oh no. I’m such an asshole.” Tom covered his mouth with his hand. “I can’t believe I forgot her birthday.”

“She couldn’t believe it either.” Yara shrugged. “You’re not gonna live this one down. This is exactly what happened last time.”

“Don’t say that.” KC said in a hushed tone, making Tom grow concerned.

“What do you mean?” Toms eyes darted between the two of them. “What happened last time?”

“Her ex did this last year and she was totally devastated.” KC told him. “He texted her “happy v day” and did nothing all day. They didn’t last a day after that.”

“Really? That’s why they broke up?” Tom began to panic. He knew about the ex, but you had never told him why you broke up.

“Yeah. She felt ignored.” Yara said unsympathetically towards Tom. “She was crying at my apartment until I brought her to your brothers party. That’s when you met, dummy.”

“Oh no.” Tom whined and looked around for you. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”

“I’m not so sure.” KC shook her head.

“Why do you say that?” Tom panicked at her confidence.

“Because I’m pretty sure she just left.” KC said as she pointed behind Tom. Tom wiped around right as you walked out the door. Harry and Sam were standing near by, still waving to you as you left. Tom rushed over to them, already seeing the disappointment on their faces before he got there.

“Dude, what did you do?” Harry asked, a little annoyed with Tom. “You didn’t wish Y/n a happy birthday?”

“You literally met on her birthday last year.” Sam added. “How could you forget that?”

“I don’t know!” Tom groaned, angry with himself. “It completely slipped my mind. I got her chocolates and roses though.”

“For Valentine’s Day.” Harry interjected. “Not her birthday. You’ve been together for almost a year and you didn’t wish her happy birthday. That’s cold, mate.”

“What did she say to you guys?” Tom asked. “Was she upset?”

“She was crying.” Sam told him, making Tom hang his head in shame.

“I gotta go.” Tom decided. “I have to make it up to her.”

“You can try.” Harry shrugged. “I don’t really think she wants to talk to you.”

“And I don’t really blame her.” Sam mumbled under her breath. Tom let out another sigh before getting his things and leaving the party. He stopped by the store to get a few things before driving home to you.

~

Once Tom got home, he peered around a wall and found you sitting on the couch reading a book. He took a deep breath before putting on his most apologetic smile.

“Happy birthday.” Tom said weakly as he presented you with a cupcake. He sat down on the couch next to you but you didn’t budge.

“Who told you?” You asked without looking up. Tom sighed and set the cupcake on the coffee table so he could talk to you.

“Yara.” He admitted, and you nodded like you were expecting that. You continued to read your book, putting a nervous feeling in Toms stomach.

“I’m so sorry, princess.” He apologized as he put a hand on your knee. “I completely forgot.”

“I noticed.” You replied coldly, removing his hand.

“How can I make it up to you?” He asked sweetly, hoping you’d give a little.

“It’s fine.” You sighed. “There was a lot going on today. It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s your brothers birthday. And hey, at least you remembered those.”

“It’s not fine.” He frowned. “I can tell you’re upset. I’m so sorry.”

You finally put your book down and stared straight ahead, not knowing what you wanted to say yet.

“I am upset.” You said, like you were admitting it to yourself. “And I’m not sure why.”

“Because I forgot your birthday.” Tom reminded you quietly.

“But it’s only your first offense.” You thought out loud. “This is just strike one.”

“What?” Tom furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m not following, love.”

“I’m trying to say that you’ve been a really good boyfriend so far.” You finally looked at him. “You pay attention and communicate your feelings and go out of your way to make me happy. You have been a picture perfect boyfriend for the past year and all the sudden…”

“I fucked up.” Tom finished your sentence for you. You laughed softly and nodded.

“Yeah.” You agreed. “So I’m not sure how to react. On the one hand, you forgot my birthday. On the other hand, you were busy all day getting me roses and chocolates and throwing an amazing party for your brothers because that’s the kind of guy you are. Should I be mad that you’re so thoughtful that you took too much on?”

“Are you asking me?” He laughed a little.

“I am.” You softened up and smiled at him. “Because I don’t know what to do. I’m upset you forgot my birthday, but I also know why you forgot. So I’m at a bit of a crossroads right now.”

“Well, the party was no excuse to forget.” Tom didn’t let himself off the hook. “I should have remembered.”

“Yes, you should have.” You agreed. “But this has happened to me before. And the last time it happened, I didn’t get an apology and a cupcake.”

“Yara told me about your ex.” Tom said softly as he put his hand on your knee again. This time, you let him. “I’m not like him.”

“I know you’re not.” You smiled weakly. “You’ve spent the past year proving to me that you’re nothing like him. So yes, I’m upset. But I’m also ready to forgive you.”

“You are?” He asked hopefully, leaning closer to silently ask for a kiss.

“I am.” You accepted his kiss and he smiled in relief. “Just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t.” He promised. “Thank you for forgiving me. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled at him. “Now give me that cupcake.”

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