#but he also was that guy that played fmk about me so...

[auckie]

You know foghorn leghorn the type of guy to come home late after a night of drinking and stand ominously in the dark hallway backlit by the front porch and see that there’s like. One cup in the sink and he says ‘I say— I say— I said how many times. Have I done told you.’ In an eerily calm voice, then he raises like 200 decibles outta nowhere ‘TO NOT LEAVE NO DAMN DISHES IN THE FUCKING SINK FOR ME T’COME HOME TO WOMAN?!’

Or like to be sitting in his favorite chair with the tube tv flashing, giving him an opposing silhouette and just like that terrifying gif of uncle phill like zooming forward he just is suddenly up out of his chair John Goodman yelling. Like he’s scary as shit. He might wear a white antebellum lawyer suit during the day but I can just as easily see him wearing a wife beater and work boots come nightfall. and then just backhanding me so hard that I crack the drywall where I hit. I’m so scared of him. But that’s also why I picked him for marry in todays hypothetical FMK posited at work, because it felt like a horrible tragic Tennessee Williams play and also the other options were bugs (fuck, he would make a horrible husband) and porky (kill because I can’t fix him, and he can’t fuck. He only makes love. He watches bugs and daffy from afar and wishes he could be bugs so badly so daffy would want him back. and I know he would be thinking about it with someone, anyone else. Also I would probably like. Turn into foghorn leghorn if he expected me to top him.).

[cosmerelists]

Shallan & Adolin play "Fuck, Marry, Kill" (And also Kaladin is there)

Not gonna lie, I could see Adolin & Shallan playing FMK if it, you know, existed. Meanwhile, Kaladin is NOT playing but he sure is unwillingly at the same table in the bar. By thew way, I'll be picking Stormlight characters using my random number generator for this!

1. Teft, Skar, Mraize

Shallan: Well, I'm obviously killing Mraize, marrying Teft, and fucking Skar. Adolin: Yes...definitely killing Mraize. But I think I'm marrying Skar and fucking Teft, not gonna lie. Shallan: Kaladin what about you? Kaladin: I-I told you I'm not playing!

2. Taravangian, Sadeas, Veil

Adolin: ... Adolin: I mean...do I even have to say it? Adolin: Kill Sadeas, obviously, and I guess I marry Veil. Uh... Shallan: So...one hot night with Taravangian then? Kaladin: W-Why are you guys even playing this??

3. Raboniel, Moash, Elhokar

Shallan: Fuck Raboniel, kill Moash, marry Elhokar. Adolin: I can't fuck or marry my cousin, so uh... Adolin: I guess I'm...fucking Moash and marrying Raboniel? Adolin: Not feeling great about this one, I gotta be honest. Shallan: Definitely worked out better for me. Kaladin: I have trauma???

4. Cord, Nale, Jasnah

Adolin: ...Maybe I'll start skipping the ones that contain my actual family members? Shallan: Oh man, killing Nale is easy, but... Shallan: Fuck Jasnah or marry Jasnah... Shallan: ... Kaladin: (Isn't she zoning out for a bit too long?) Adolin: Eh. Shallan: FUCK JASNAH AND MARRY CORD Shallan: Love Jasnah. Think I'd die if I married her. Shallan: Cord seems very stable and loving. Adolin: I support you and these choices. Kaladin: ...I have never understood you two.

5. Sigzil, Kaladin, Moash

Adolin & Shallan (simultaneously): Marry Kaladin. Adolin & Shallan (simultaneously): Fuck Sigzil. Adolin & Shallan (simultaneously): Kill Moash. Kaladin: DID YOU REHEARSE THAT?!

6. Shallan, Lirin, Szeth

Adolin: I get to marry Shallan! :D Adolin: I can't kill Kaladin's dad, so I guess I'm fucking him and then killing Szeth. Kaladin: (Is that better?) Shallan: Well I'm marrying Kaladin's dad--you can call me "Mom" now--and I can't marry him if I'm dead, so I guess I'm killing Szeth and fucking myself. Kaladin: (puts his head in his hands)

7. Amaram, Kadash, Sebarial

Kaladin: KILL AMARAM Kaladin: I'M NOT MARRYING A FUCKING HIGHPRINCE SO I GUESS I'M MARRYING KADASH Kaladin: WHICH MEANS A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH SEBARIAL APPARENTLY Shallan: ... Adolin: ... Kaladin: ... Shallan: W-We're so proud of you! Adolin: All of your choices are valid! Kaladin: CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET BACK TO DRINKING NOW

[nitewrighter]

On the (continued) topic of Spidey in DC, if I can be a bit crass with the subject matter... how many DC heroines (or DC villainesses, if you want to dip your toes in that puddle) do you think would find Peter/Spidey genuinely attractive as a person, even if they might not actually get to see his face? Not to step on Gwen or MJ's toes or anything but I feel like a lot of DC ladies would see that prime real estate and want in on that property, iykwim.

I just feel like there'd be, on more than one occasion, moments where a few random lady members of the League would absolutely play a few rounds of FMK if bored enough, Spider-Man would be among the choices, and it's usually F or M, but almost never K for the webslinger.

Honestly Spider-Man's like a brother to me, and a kid brother at that (...maybe because he's my younger brother's favorite superhero...), so beyond MJ (and to a much lesser extent Deadpool), I never really 'got' the concept of Spidey as the Marvel Comics Community Bicycle. He talks too much, and when he's put next to other heroes, it very quickly becomes "talks too much because he's self-conscious," so like, he's relatable to me, absolutely, but he's never really been that much of a romantic lead in my head. He's too much of the narrative's chew toy to be that, so like... you do have some overlap with Jimmy Olsen in that respect.

That being said, if I had to pick like... potential DC characters that would be into him, I'd say definitely Misa, my deep-cut fave from the 90's Superman comics that everyone has forgotten about. She has a fun tech-hippie look. She's obnoxious, she likes to cause problems on purpose--but deep down she's actually surprisingly well-meaning and very supportive of other characters going through really sloppy points in their own character arcs. She can be delightful fun in that "Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go apeshit?" sense that I think would be a good contrast to Spidey. On top of that, they both have a passion for gadgetry! I'd love to see her tinker with his spider-suit capabilities! This, again, is Spidey moving into Jimmy Olsen's territory, because Misa was also a romantic interest for Jimmy Olsen for a handful of issues.

Again, I'd also like to see Spidey get sucked into the Forever People polycule. There's no escape. Just osmose him in.

I should probably try and veer this to more recognizable names, but I could also see 20-something Spider-Man getting with a Green Lantern. Either Kyle Rayner or Jessica Cruz. The mainstream Justice League I largely see perceiving Spider-Man as pretty much a kid. Zatanna could be a fun option, and also versatile depending on like, what level-of-maturity Spidey you want to work with.

OHH DONNA TROY OR CASSANDRA CAIN. WOMEN WHO WILL ELBOW-DROP HIM AND HE'LL THANK THEM FOR IT. Guy who goes "Hiiiii" and girl who goes "Bruh" power couples.

Blonde Twink stick-in-the-mud Brainiac-5 is an option, too. Someone to be geeky with but who is also kind of a bitch to offset your obnoxiousness. (Give him back his looong haaaaair).

Also I don't know if this would be shippy, but I would be interested in seeing him interact with Raven. Just the combination of Hope/Despair/Crushing Responsibility/Empathy would be very interesting to watch.

[quinloki]

Hey bby, idk what's going on but distractions incoming!!!

I've started writing what I think is gonna end up being a pretty long post-apocalypse AU with my OC that I'm really excited about!

My cat Pickle IS adorable but you're just gonna have to trust me because she has run off downstairs to beg for my parent's fried chicken.

If Shanks was real and suddenly appeared beside me I do believe he would simply dive into my bed where the heated blanket was and i'd have to minimal explaining about the odd layout of my room otherwise. The smooches that man would get (consensually) sighs

Favorite jam at the moment is wild blueberry jam that we got from the farmers market that we are, sadly and alas, almost out of.

What kink, hhmm. the branch off from cnc where you get chased/hunted as foreplay. into that to a frankly worrying degree. OP offers some truly excellently matched blorbos for that one tho.

Also quick rapid fire FMK: Shanks, X Drake, Shaka (the Vegapunk) (my blorbo plus some I haven't heard you talk much about, just outta curiosity :3c )

ILY tons and I hope everything is okay!!

Any cat named Pickle gets like +5 to cuteness, because i love pickles and cats and the combination is simply cheating, the judges are deliberating AS WE SPEAK.

XD Shanks would be a pretty chill guy to have show up. I have to admit I'd be okay with Marco for similar reasons. The explanation of things and stuff would be a pretty calm issue.

oooooh, Primal Play. And for what it's worth, I don't think any kink reaches a worrying degree as long as you set the lines beforehand. Communication can be difficult, or even just awkward, but it's not just about consent, but also safety. Assumption can lead to bad ends, and not the sexy kind.

Hmmm FMK Shanks, Drake and Shaka...

Shaka gives me Marco vibes, so I'd go with marry even though I haven't seen his face, I like everything else about the guy.

Gods between Shanks and Drake... Augh... Fuck Drake, and Kill Shanks - but admittedly because it wouldn't work anyway. That observation haki of his is broken as hell.

If we says Kiss vs Kill, then I'd swap Shanks and Drake. Between the two I'm well aware of who would be better in bed.

[liass-21]

fmk evil edition: Jim Phelps, Solomon Lane, Gabriel

i mean this in the nicest, kindest way possible, but only you would send me this ask. it’s right in line with the Fucked Up Shit (/pos) ur writing but like. i love it

fuck: jim phelps because he’d think he’s “getting one over me” or whatever but i actually feel very indifferent about it. it would probably be traumatizing but that is what therapy is for

marry: solomon lane because he’d also think he’s “getting one over me” but he plays the game so long that he’d be a decent husband until he thinks i caught on. surprise bitch i caught on immediately. thanks for the home cooked meals.

kill: gabriel. fuck that guy. i KNOW he is not good at sex

[enigmaticexplorer]

Heeeey, I have a FMK for you, if you want to play! Marshal commander edition: Fox, Cody, Neyo

Is this punishment for making you choose between Fives, Tup, and Kix? It feels a little personal.

Fuck: Neyo. I blame you for this. I would never have batted an eye at Neyo until you wrote him. And now I’m too invested—something about him screams really good in bed. (Again, I blame you.) I would let him bite me, if it came to it, and that says a lot.

Kill: Fox. This was SO hard. I love Fox so much, but since we don’t know much about him canonically, I don’t feel as bad sacrificing him. (If we were going with my personal interpretation of his character, we would be having a different conversation.)

Marry: Cody. Cody’s personality fits me well enough that I can imagine enjoying the rest of my life with him, if that makes sense. He has that quiet confidence I adore and respect, but he’s also a commanding presence. He will not back down from what he believes in (he punched Grievous—he is THAT guy), but there’s an emotional intelligence to him (as we saw in TBB) that really appeals to me. He is the ideal. And he screams trustworthy, respectful, and gets-off-to-pleasuring-women. 😌

Anyway, thank you for making me choose between these three. I hated it.

[dukesmebby]

i really never thought id be able to do something like this, so thank you guys. thanks for being such a welcoming and loving 'lil community. thank you for following and giving my work some love sometimes. just, thank you!

(dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more)

You're all invited to my Sleepover! We are going to gossip all about our favorite boys (stevie and eds), play some of the classic sleepover games, share our favorite stories since the last time we’ve talked, all while listening to the best tunes!

If you want to hear how i've been (the hc's that won’t leave my head) this is probably your best bet. I would also love to hear how you've been so don't be afraid to let me know!

Boy Talk- send in 💘 a character + concept or hc and i'll give you some of my fav headcanons! or you can send in 💗 a character + your fav hc for them (nsfw for steve and eddie only please)

if theres nothing juicy going on right now, we can always just turn up the music and dance the night away.

Dance Party- Send in 🩰 and your favorite song/ a song recommendation + a lil bit about yourself/ your aesthetic and i'll make a moodboard for you based off of that! 

if you aren't much of a dancer yourself, we can always just play some games. we just have to make sure we arent laughing too loud. can't wake up mom!

Spin the bottle- send in 🎱 + an ask game! I'll be linking a list that you can choose questions from if you want but this is also open to would you rather/ fmk/ cym! (ask games!)

i know you have been itching to tell someone about that one thing you can't stop thinking about, please let it be me you tell. i want to know what he did. i want to know what they said! you're telling me she did what?!

Share your stories!- send me 💓 + your favorite author, fic, headcanons, blurbs, or even just fav blogs to share some love! (yes your fav can be something of your own, you worked hard on it and it deserves to be put out there!) 

Rules: 

Celebration will be lasting 2/11/23 until 2/25/23

I will do hc’s for all stranger things characters but I will only do nsfw hc’s for steve and eddie. Please respect that!

tagging some moots to get the word out, ily all sm<3: @munsonswife @translatemunson @bisexual-byers @paranoidmunson @idkmanijustwannawrite @billysprettyboy @katsu28 @matchamunson @munsonology @stvharrngton @schoopsahoy @steveharringtonscarkeys @niceboyeds @hellfireclubs @luvmunson @l4venderf4iry @edsbug @honeymunson @toxic-aries @sw34terw34ther @reidstyleshotch @stevestummy @lil-quinnie @munsonsreputation @crappymixtape @reanimated-alice

[yellows-secret-blog]

Thinking about the villains I love and why I love them

Iago from Othello (I read the Portuguese edition idk if his name is spelled differently) = never hated someone with such ardent passion before, he was my first true hate, I don't remember shit about the play just how much I hated him. He's my fav. Also if I remember correctly he keeps mocking the other characters for falling for his lies and that's fucking iconic

Jin Guanyao = cunning motherfucker, making a shrine to a god that looks exactly like your mistreated mother? Doing whatever's necessary to gain power? Being forever haunted by the crimes of your father? MODIFYING A "HEALING" SPELL TO HAVE THE OPPOSITE EFFECT IN A MUSICAL VERSION OF A POISONING? DUDE. Anyway bastard I love him

Claude Frollo (musical and disney movie) = Bass/Baritone. Those fucking low notes hell yeah Patrick Page (I have no idea who sings in the movie tho) sing those low notes and my life is yours uhhh also he's a fucking hypocrite who can't see his own evil and genuinely thinks he's in the right also did I say he is a fucking HYPOCRITE? Also he has the best songs I don't care

Claude Frollo (book) = I actually didn't finish the book yet but I think he's funny "Medicine? Astrology? Bullshit. Pseudoscience. You know what's the real shit? Alchemy." Yea go on Edward Elric, also he's so done with everything, the cunt, I just know he spends most of the book internally rolling his eyes at people, also he's 35????? Or 38???? He should have been at the club, everyone's life would be so much better if that dude was at the club instead of the monastery (me lying, we all know he would be ruffing people's cups)

Wallace Larson = his midwestern accent is hot and he has some eternal youth thing going on which is also very hot

Scar from lion king = never seen a lion serve more cunt than him, iconic, made my childhood, maybe the kickstarter to my villain appreciations? Welp

Honorable mention to the butcher because he is also very hot and he sings, another honorable mention is for Nie Huaisang because despite not being exactly a villain he is another cunning motherfucker, iconic bitch *snaps fan*

AS A DISCLAIMER

My love for those guys except Larson and Butcher comes from the fact I hate them, I love hating them, I do not agree with their actions nor do I wanna fuck any those guys (except for the butcher) for the love of god

Anyway FMK my favorite villains

Fuck: Iago (for the drama)

Marry: Larson (for the money, trust me)

Kill: Frollo (he deserves it)

God I fuckin love this website I can just ramble my brains out right?

Anyway need to reread Othello cause I can't remember shit about the play lmaaaao I just know I hate that motherfucker

[peskyfirefly]

yay sleepover!! let's do fmk please <333 tsukki, hoshina, and obi please thank you I'm sorry ily

.....how could u do this to me bestie......why do u hate me and want me dead........

fuck: adrienne for asking me this question

sorry typo (ilu too i promise)

fuck: obi. sorry my love for him has been around for so long and i need to climb him like a tree or else. ughhhh its not that i think hoshina wont be a good romp but obi.......obi would look after u so sweetly. i think hoshina is a more ummmm passionate type asdfghjkl; iDK HOW TO PHRASE THIS GENTLY IM TRYING HERE DO U GUYS GET WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN??

marry: tsukki <33 the other two have jobs that put them in scary danger sometimes and i cant handle that stress. tsukki just chills in museums and plays volleyball and reads wiki pages at 3 am while eating strawberry shortcake. thats the energy i need lifelong yknow?

kill: HOSHINA? IM SORRY CANT MAKE SOMETHING AMUSING UP FOR THIS ONE IM JUST GONNA CRY ABOUT IT INSTEAD.

ok wait we can make it a romeo and juliet thing. he stabs himself with one of his swords bc of this scenario. and then i use the other sword to end myself with him. (this is romance right?? and tragedy?? using his sword??? oh wait also euphemism ???) bc umm the haters (adrienne's ask scenario) doesnt want us to be together. or something. ok yeah....

[brutal-nemesis]

Yeehaw we gettin tagged by @whump-me​ (tyyyy) and posting 7 snippets from our writing (or wips but i am a wipless bastard atm 🤪) and i have decided to do some Silly Castys Moments (and also some Erebus stuff ig 🙄)

Warning for some gore probably it’s Nemi writing so yk but I’ll try to keep the really bad stuff outta here (there also some armputation and guy going crazy and starving to death over and over you know the drill)

1. Local silly guy does in fact regret it very much

“I don’t really want you, per se, but a certain…friend of yours.” Castys stiffened, and he heard a faint laugh. “I think you know who I’m talking about.”

“I really don’t. I’ve got a lot of friends, you know, and-” something slammed into the metal above him, cutting him off.

“Don’t play dumb with me; you know exactly who I’m talking about, and you’d better tell me where I can find him or I’ll make you regret it.”

“Please, do your worst. I already regret so many damn things so I don’t think another one on the pile will do much to me, to be honest,” Castys mused, wiggling against his bonds slightly.

2. The worst fmk in existence gets you stabbed

“Hey, guys, fuck, marry, kill for rice, pasta, and bread, go. I think for me, I gotta say fuck bread, marry rice, kill pasta. Don’t get me wrong, I love some noodles, some noods, but, like, man. Have you ever just, like, had some bread? Insane. I would fuck bread. I don’t wanna fuck anything, but boy I would fuck the bread. And rice, man, she’s so dependable, she’s always there for you. What I would want in a spouse if I wanted anything in a spouse. This game wasn’t really designed for me, and yet, here I am. So, c’mon, what’s it from you two? You’ve gotta have-Hey, Danny boy, got an opinion you’d like to share?” Castys smiled up at the man now standing in front of him.

Daniel rolled his eyes before putting his asshole face back on. “Just do something useful for once and hold this for me, vermin,” he said with a smile, lifting Castys’s shirt and gently sliding the knife he was holding into his abdomen. Castys just sighed, way too used to being stabbed to really care much about this.

3. Ripping your arm off but it’s a Phineas and Ferb reference (this one is probably the most gory of all the snippets fyi but it’s not too bad)

Sensing his chance, Castys grabbed the manacled wrist of his shredded arm with his good hand, bit down on the gag, and pulled. He couldn’t give up, couldn’t stop, not after enduring this much, he could feel his flesh tearing, sending out sparks of agony unlike anything he’d ever known, and he had to keep pulling, pulling and jerking and tearing and twisting and praying, praying that he could rip it off before he drowned again, which, hey, kind of a weird thing to want, not that he hadn’t had to amputate his own limbs before, but weird that it was happening again, and honestly, this hurt way more than the other times, but wasn’t that always the case-and fuck there was no way he was going to be able to just snap his bones like this, and he needed it to be completely severed, and there was no time, wedge it against the rocks and pull pull pull until there was a snap and a burst of unholy agony, so intense it almost smothered the relief, so fierce it made him forget he was drowning up until the moment his oxygen-starved brain lost consciousness.

4. Lmaoooo bitches trapped in a cell for like 200 years

Every three days. Thirst. Weakness. Dizziness. Death. Was it three days? Is that how long you could last without water? He tried to count, but the numbers got lost in the haze all too easily. There was no way to mark the stone, to keep track outside of his head, the blood wasn’t being washed off him anymore. He had nothing, nothing at all, just here and himself and the unyielding stone. The square of sunlight would move across the cell, the only motion to break the constancy of everything else. It was the same day repeated over and over and over and over and over and it was the same just the same nothing ever changed, ever, ever, it was the same-

Something wasn’t the same. The leather muzzle that had kept him silent for so long had been slowly rotting, and it finally fell off. For a moment he simply stared at it lying there on the ground, broken, dying, fading away. He opened his mouth for the first time in decades. And he screamed, because that thing got to rot away and disappear and he wouldn’t, he would always be here, hungry and thirsty and alone and trapped and alive and it wasn’t fair, not at all, and he screamed because it had been so long since he was able, he cried because it was all he could do.

5. Erebus’s iconic sit down protest ✨ (it does not accomplish anything in the end)

“You are coming with me. As of today you are my property, so you will do as I say. Resistance will only make things more difficult for you. So you will walk, or you will be dragged. Your choice.” Erebus initially felt a bolt of fear shoot through him, but looking down at her scrawny frame, he realized that she likely couldn’t carry out her threat.

Dragged? He’d like to see her try.

Erebus sat down on the ground and looked expectantly up at Neteri, one eyebrow raised. She huffed and narrowed her eyes. Planting her feet firmly on the ground, she tugged on the chain as hard as she could, but it did little more than make him lean forward. She sighed. “Okay, you have a point there.”

6. More Erebus and Neteri shenanigans because she’s right he’s being a drama queen

“You can’t just do that! That’s-you can’t just amputate my arm!”

“See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you’d freak out.”

“Of-of course I’m freaking out! You want to cut off one of my limbs, for Drottkia’s sake!”

“I mean, yeah, but I’m going to give you a new one right away. So at the end of the day you’ll have the same number of arms you started with. It’s honestly not worth getting that worked up about.”

7. New phobia alert!! (warning for centipede on guy)

He felt it, it was on him, dozens of little legs pitter-pattering across his skin, crawling on him. “G-get it off. Neteri, please, please get it off.” It tickled the back of his neck, around the base of the section of skin she’d replaced. “What’s it doing Neteri plea-” she clamped a hand over his mouth, her thumb rubbing against his cheek as he whimpered.

“Shh, shh, you’re okay Erebus. I’m just seeing if it can connect to you, I promise I’ll take it off when I’m done.” Connect to him?! What-what did that mean-oh it had stopped crawling around it was just sitting there it was on his back what was it going to do to him what did connecting mean was it-Erebus felt a momentary pinch at the base of his neck, and suddenly his limbs starting moving, wriggling in the restraints all on their own. Neteri removed her hand from his mouth and looked down at him expectantly, her other hand still gripping his tightly even as his fingers twitched uncontrollably. “Are you doing that?”

“N-no I-I’m not moving I’m not doing that why are they doing that I can’t stop it is it doing that to me make it stop make it let go please-” Tears were streaming from Erebus’s eyes but he didn’t care he just wanted that thing off he wanted it gone he wanted control of his own body back he’d always had that even when he was tied up and strapped down he’d always had that-

And there we go hope that either a fun time on memory lane or at least made you laugh a little

Taggin uhhhh @galaxywhump @yet-another-heathen and @painsandconfusion (mainly because i know you will want to read the Castys content 💕)

[yuanzhous]

(as usual this is sky, one day i'll figure out a better way to have sideblogs or whatever) you made the mistake of saying you like my version of FMK, so that means i am coming here with a proper fuck/marry/kill for you (but if this is not fun you definitely don't have to answer!). fmk: zhao jing, jin-wang, wu chang gui

gdi sky you were right this is definitely fmk on hard mode 😭 (but it is absolutely fun nw)

okay. so, zhao jing has to take my kill spot, both out of personal dislike and as a service to society. which leaves the beautiful choice of fucking or marrying jinwang and wuchang gui, which. boy. I don't want to fuck either of them, even if wcg has great lipstick, and a marriage to either the guy trying to overthrow the emperor or the guy trying to overthrow wkx is dangerous in itself.

but I'm reasonably sure jinwang, although he might have a miserable life post-canon, can avoid getting murdered for treason, so I don't have to go down with him as his wife. he would also likely mostly ignore me as he has dudes to be obsessed with. therefore

fuck - wuchang gui. I never interact with him again afterwards and so I'm not considered his accomplice when he tries to take over GV. also I'm sure it would be a memorable experience.

marry - jinwang. unfortunate, but maybe I get my own lux residence in the capital and have to see him only like once a month and pretend I don't know about the Atrocities.

kill - zhao jing. besides every other reason, I've seen what happens to his spouses and I'm not touching him with a ten-foot pole.

this was harrowing dhskahdsks 10/10 would recommend playing it like this

[mordinsolusarchive]

@killallnazis replied to your post: @killallnazis replied to your chat : ...

I would hope it’s the second cause the first is creepy from 98% of people but if it is the second, what the fuck was the dream

that!!! is exactly the problem!!! it’s been several hours and i can’t stop thinking about it???

[arc-misadventures]

Penny: FMK Ruby, Jaune, Ciel

Penny: FMK

Penny: Yay! I get to play this game with all of my friends. This is sensational!

Jaune: You did properly explain the rules to her, did you, Ruby?

Ruby: Of course I did!

Jaune: Did you?

Ruby: Yyyyes…Yes, I did.

Ciel: Her lack of conviction her own words, leads me to doubt the validity of her statement.

Jaune: I’m not even sure, Ruby fully understands the rules.

Ciel: Oh. Then I revise my statement: I fully doubt, Ms. Rose’s words.

Ruby: Hey!

Penny: So! Will you marry me, best friend, Ruby Rose?

Ruby: Yay! I don’t get to die! I get to live~! I get to…? T-T-T-To…?!

Jaune: Well, she really didn’t explain the rules to her…

Ciel: I will need to file a lengthy report about these events than I expected.

Jaune: You, and me both…

Ruby: P-P-Penny?! I-I-It’s just a game, we don’t have to actually get married?!

Penny: We don’t?

Ruby: It’s just a game; its out of the three of us, which one would you marry?! Not actually marry?!

Penny: Oh, I see… But, can’t we actually get married?

Ruby: Well, there’s n-nothing saying we can’t… But, that ring is pretty flashy…

Penny: Of course it is! It is a high powered, energy beam band! With a power capacity equal to one Kg of a special blend of Hard-light, Electricity, Fire Dust for maximum output!

Ruby: Uhhh…?

Penny: It is also a gun.

Ruby: 🤩(Gasp~!)

Ruby: Of course I will marry you~!

Penny: Sensational~! I can’t wait to tell my father, and the General! That Friend, Ruby is now, Wife Ruby!

Jaune: Yeah, saw that coming.

Ciel: How could you?

Jaune: The pair both work on the same wavelength. Their understanding of one another surpasses what even, Yang, Ruby’s sister knows about her.

Ciel: Is that so?

Ruby: Ahh~! Its so pretty~! Come here you!

Penny: What is it, Fiancé Ru… Mph?!

Ruby: Mmmmm… Mwah~! Hehe~! How was that, my Android Wife-to-be~!

Penny: S-S-S-SENSATIONAL!!! W-W-We must do that a-a-again!

Ciel: I would refrain from doing so; such actions appear to have altered the mental comprehension abilities of, Ms. Polendina.

Ruby: W-What…?

Jaune: She’s saying your fried your Waifu’s brain.

Ruby: Oh… That just means we need to kiss more~!

Penny: Sensational~!

Ciel: Haa… You may do as you wish.

Jaune: What she said. So, are we done this game, cause it feels like we are… Or, should be…?

Penny: No, we should continue! With that being said; Friend Ciel?

Ciel: Yes, Penny?

Penny: I believe you, and friend, Jaune should, as the game says: Fuck!

Ciel: W-W-WHAT?!!

Penny: I believe you, and friend, Jaune should…

Ciel: I know what you said, but why are you saying that, Penny?!

Penny: Many people have pointed out to me that you are, what they call too, ‘uptight.’ Or, as Specialist Bree once said: “That, Ciel girl needs to relax; She’s so uptight, and rigid. She really needs to get laid, maybe then she can finally get that stick out of her ass.” End quote.

Ciel: SHE SAID WHAT?! I can’t believe she said that about me?! What if Specialist Schnee was in the room, and she overheard that! What would she say to that?!

Penny: Actually, Specialist Bree, was talking to, Specialist Ederne, and Specialist Schnee at the time she said this. Of, which they all agreed that you need to relax.

Ciel: I can’t believe they would say that about me?!

Jaune: Ciel’s mental breakdown aside; Why did you pick me to… be together with, Ciel?

Penny: Based on my analysis: Friend Ciel Soleil. Is highly sexually attracted to, Friend Jaune.

Jaune: H-Highly?!

Penny: Yes, She often stares at you when you are nearby. Her internal temperature spikes, whenever you are near. And, she displays several body gestures that indicate sexual arousal: Such as, deep blushes across her face, bitting her lips, rubbing her thighs together.

Ciel: Penny?! Stop talking!!!

Penny: Why not?

Ciel: Look, just because I like a guy, doesn’t mean I want him to know how I want him to pin me to the wall, tear my clothes off as he mounts me, and breeds me into his personal bitch!

Penny: …

Ruby: …

Jaune: …

Ciel: …

Ciel: I-I said that out loud… d-didn’t I…?

Ruby: B-B-B-B-Breed?!

Penny: Shall, I replay the recording?

Jaune: Are you recording everything you hear?

Penny: Yes.

Jaune: Someone needs to talk to you about that…

Penny: So, Jaune; Would you fuck, Ciel?

Ciel: Penny?! Quit trying to hook me up with the hunky blond Adonis future baby daddy!

Ruby: She’ll give those, Mantle Milfs a run for their money…

Ciel: Whose trying to get their hands on my man?!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Ciel, we’re going to have a words about this…

Ciel: O-Okay…

Jaune: Tonight, your room, 22:00. If you have roommate’s tell them to get lost, this is going to be an all nighter discussion. Okay?

Ciel: O-Oh?! Okay, Daddy~!

Jaune: Down girl.

Ciel: R-Right! Sorry.

Ruby: …

Ruby: Okay… That’s going to be a thing…

Ruby: So uhh… W-Who gets killed… I’m saying this with utter fear in my heart since you’re taking this so… literally.

Penny: Oh don’t worry, that’s already happened!

RJC: …

Jaune: P-Penny… W-Who died?!

Penny: Me!

RJC: WHAT?!

Penny: I died when, Pyrrha Nikos, accidentally killed me!

Ruby: Oh…

Jaune: Okay…

Ciel: …

Penny: So, did everyone enjoy playing, MFK?

Ruby: Yes…?

Ciel: I know I will~!

Jaune: No comment.

Penny: Sensational! We should do this again another time.

RJC: No!

Penny: Nawww…

[kingofthewilderwest]

okay just to fuck with you; fmk alternatives numbers 5, 8, and 10 with Josh Graves, Paul Warren, and Bill Monroe

I revoke your rights to talk to me <33333

fmk alternatives prompt

For people wondering, these are vintage bluegrass musicians. ^.^ They were active circa the 1930s or 40s onward. This is also going to be an extremely weird flex for stupid facts I know about them haha.

---

5. go on a six hour road trip with (no car radio, you choose who drives), sit next to on a six hour plane flight, sit across from on a six hour train journey

oh shit this one's perfect

- car trip: I am driving, I am driving, and I am driving. Because I'm picking Bill Monroe. And I have heard about his driving 'skills' (did they not have eyesight tests to get your license in the early Twentieth Century??? why was this man allowed to drive???). But Bill would chill with folks and write songs in the car. Maybe I can watch the Master's composition practice in action. Who needs a car radio when you have a mandolin fiend sitting to your right?

The downside to this is, in Ye Early Days, Bill Monroe's transportation went pedal to the medal, 95 miles an hour on tiny-ass two-laned country highways. He can try to pressure me all he likes, I'm driving safely. Let him pout.

- plane flight: Josh Graves. He was the only Foggy Mountain Boy, outside of Earl, who was okay with flying (so I'm not taking Paul on a plane). I can have a comfortable Josh regale me the wild hijinks, stupid pranks, and bizarre number of bus fires he's gotten up to during his musical career.

- Paul Warren. Train!!! There is enough room to pull a fiddle out on a train. And you bet your ass I'll make him pull it out and play a bunch of old, obscure folk songs. And maybe ask him a thing or two about technique.

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8. share a car with, share a bank account with, share a cake with

- car: Josh. I heard the story of Paul driving through a chicken coop with the band bus. That wasn't precisely Paul's fault, but I'll still trust Josh the most with a car.

- bank account: Paul. Josh was always pawning his bass to make it through the week. Bill Monroe and his son had several grandiose adventures of financial ruin. Meanwhile, Paul made his boss Lester Flatt write an 88¢ check for immediate reimbursement. Clearly, my money is safest with Paul.

- share a cake with: Bill Monroe. People threw big parties for Bill. He has enough cake to go around (food, not ass; food, not ass; I am not here staring at this old-- admittedly slutty-- man's buns). Gimme that cake. I can have like, nine slices and not feel guilty.

---

10. netflix and chill with, go ice-skating with, play dodgeball against

Ooooo, the ultimate question.

- Dodgeball: Bill Monroe. If he can chuck the balls in dodgeball half as well as he hurtled the baseball at opponents, this should be intense.

- ice-skating: Josh. Josh seems like the guy who enjoyed adventures. Let's adventure.

- Netflix and chill: Again I am doing a *G RATED* version of this [glares in the direction of you constantly accusing I have a crush on Paul]. Paul Warren. This gives me a chance to talk and get to know him. [glares in the direction of bluegrass biographers who haven't gotten to my favorite fiddler]

[victoryrollsandredlips]

Fmk ask - #13 for Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, Peter Parker

Thanks!! LOL the first two were actually kinda hard!! Go to IKEA with Sam! Dude would be SO prepared, I feel like he would already have all the rooms in my apartment measured without me asking, and he would insist on trying out every chair, couch, bed, whatever, in the store so I could be sure I'm getting the "perfect" thing. It would turn into one of those days where you walk in during daylight hours, and before you know it, it's closing time and they're kicking you out. Also he'd probably be as hyped about the cafeteria as me. Go dancing with Natasha. Sure, she's such a dime she seems like she'd steal all the guys' attention, but she's definitely Your Best GirlfriendTM and after someone tries to steal her away she'd throw her arms around you and be like "I'm just dancing with my friends tonight!!" Play video games with Peter Parker, b/c, I mean, Tom is my Spidey son, and I say that with all the love in my heart. Of course we're playing video games. And when he finally catches on that I'm terrible at whatever game he's mastered, he'd feel so bad, and patiently teach me how to play. Even when we'd play against each other, he'd be shouting instructions and tricks to me over the game soundtrack.

[draayder]

FMK Genshin edition: Kaeya, Childe and Zhongli

oh boy I don't know shit about Genshin except for the copious amounts of porn it has flooded places with. lets see if I even recognize any of these guys I don't see the one windy twink that everyone goes apeshit over but I can't remember his name

Kaeya

oh damn okay hiiiiiiiiiiii

so like I do have to dunk on genshin for being a predatory gatcha game (as all gatcha games are) that I won't play but I can also say that this dude could get it. I contain multitudes. this dude is custom tailored to me. why are people just drawing windy twink instead of this dude (V......... V-something??? Ventus???)

Childe

okay I've seen this guy like twice. he's just kind of whatever. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Zhongli

hey now that's better! this guy has some character to him, or maybe I just like his color scheme more lmao. I don't know if I'd want to marry him per say, that getup screams stuffy and stoic and that's not what I'm looking for, but I could def fuck him so I get to marry Kaeya

rip to Childe but I'm different

wait Ventus is the kingdom hearts guy. Ve. Vent......... fuck it, I'm looking it up

...........................Venti! I was really close. starbucks ass name bullshit