#but having the time of my life so far
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I just started listening to Chaos Cascade uh spoilers below I guess - I'm only 45 minutes in and already we've got vault era Twelve and Missy, Twelve being rubbish at repairing the TARDIS and needing Missy's help (but he's so not going to admit it or let her help before he absolutely has to), lighthearted bickering between them, telepathic contact. This is everything!
#i am not going to shut up about this over the next few days as i listen to more i can tell#still 5 hours to go so we'll see#but having the time of my life so far#the only thing that could make it better would be one out both of them narrating it#Doctor who#chaos cascade#best enemies#missy#gomez!master#twelfth doctor#twissy#wait it's 6 hours left not 5#whatever#i only have a masters degree in maths it doesn't mean i can count!
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Learning to celebrate the little wins!
#fersona#While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day#I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!
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my longest friend and companion
#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#makoto yuki#pharos#thanatos#lizzy does art#hii everyone long time no post :) been logged out of tumblr for a few months but im still alive and well ^_^#a little something to celebrate one of my favorite days in persona 3 + my favorite pairing...#ryomina is still one of my favorite ships ever because they're so uniquely shaped by their circumstances#death as minato's longest companion throughout life for ten years... always there for him even when death took so much from him#i will forever love death's different forms. pharos. ryoji. thanatos. (not displayed here: nyx avatar)#and i also loved visdev portfolios that have color keys showing rooms with different lighting conditions.#so i smashed those two together and boom :D i made this!!! it was lots of fun :)#not displayed is a fifth image where the room is empty bc minato is long gone (he's in the great seal with ryoji)#i hope everyone has had a very lovely 2024... congrats on making it this far... i cant wait to see what 2025 holds!
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mind crab but. again
#mostly just posting to get rid of it tbh ive been holding onto it for like a week now#well i only just now colored it but. still#mostly random scribbles. vaguely wild and secret inspired. because thats what i was watching. i watched them all out of order btw#and also a moth bevause i was trying to see how id see it . id imagine thats what shes like in hermit ? maybe ? and in life shes ouppy#have yet to watch more than 2 hermit episodes per season so far#pearlescentmoon#geminitay#thus concludes the brief minecraft moment. i think.#to be honest i watched all of these while also playing linecraft myself . so i dont. actually remember a whole lot#this is very lazy tbh. in my defense ive been awake for 15 hours now. most of which was spent playing minecarft.#its that time of year where i spent 2 weeks playing minecraft for 10 hours everyday until i explode
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george rexstrew deserves awards for many things but i have to say. edwin’s bloodcurdling scream as niko gets killed deserves a whole award unto itself. like. that scream did not feel at all like a tv show scream. to a somewhat jarring degree. and i can’t express how much I respect that
#he has a number of very convincing screams and suffering noises which I imagine was an important prerequisite for the role#but this one is just especially chilling and again. jarring. not saying that the other actors are bad or anything but no one even comes#close to competing with george and its stark in moments like this#another screaming moment that I thought he did really well in particular is far easier to gloss over and that’s#when he and charles are escaping hell and he almost gets dragged down into lust#when he’s screaming out for charles he borderline SCREECHES#throughout that arc in general it’s just incredible but yeah#I think part of what makes it so convincing is that he isn’t afraid to be high pitched and genuinely Scream rather than yell#like. he is clearly immune to being put off by ‘you scream like a girl’ rhetoric#I think a lot of male actors avoid screaming and screeching like that for that internalized reason when. if you wanna be as realistic as#possible. a scream is high pitched. if you’re scared for your fucking life it’s just involuntary#I can also see it being uncommon due to difficulties getting that sound adequately recorded but yeah anyway you get my point#tldr: george rexstrew is great at disturbingly realistic screaming and I applaud him for that#I really hope he didn’t have to retake that part too many times..#his poor throat……….#george rexstrew#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives spoilers
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hello denizens of tumblr i come with humble offerings
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they wish to romance you
#HIHIHIIIIHIIII ITS BEEN A WHILE!!!!#IVE STARTED COLLEGE!!!!#AND IM SO BUSY BUT IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN#BIOLOGY IS SO FUN TOO!!!#I love love love science and biology#what was I saying??#oh yeah HELLOO!!!!#IM STILL ALIVE AND KICKING#crying about statistical inferences but still alive#im going to be busy for a long time but i promise i still care y’all#and if i left any one of you on read i am sorry#im going to respond to all of you in just a minute i prommy life has just been insane so far#insanely good and bad ways#ive learned about people i thought i knew and about subjects i never thought i would understand#okay okay okay enough treating my blog like my diary#thats what my sketchbook is for!! xD#fnaf#fnaf fanart#dca#dca fandom#the dca#the daycare attendant#fnaf sb#security breach#sun fnaf#moon fnaf#sundrop#moondrop#love ya’ll make sure to take care of yourselves#chicken doodles
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the guy of all guys ever
#disco elysium fanart#disco elysium#de kim#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium kim#stupid post#my art#POOKIE BEAR#digital art#i will figure out how to draw him trust#i have many thibgs to say about him and at the same time im speechless#kim i will give up my life for you#in game terms im doing so goooood so far im such a good detective
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she just can't catch a break </3
#lis#life is strange#max caulfield#life is strange double exposure#lis de#listened to spectator like 12 times drawing this#it describes her so well#maxine caulfield roating you around in my brain 24/7#im about halfway through chapter 3 of de!!#the end of chapter 2 and the start of chapter 3 were INSANE#so far have somehow managed to avoid spoilers TOUCH WOOD im going to go insane if anyone tells me anything#also i have transcended the need to draw eyes apparently#maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxx#lis double exposure#double exposure#life is strange de#life is strange: double exposure#oh my godddd why are there so many tags#ive been avoiding spoilers so idk which ones people actually use#lis:de#maxine caulfield#max life is strange#max lis#okay im good
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A few more Freaky Friday au doodles, Dream is trying to keep up the act and Nightmare has been worn down
#UTDR#UTMV#Freaky Friday au#Nightmare sans#Dream sans#My Art#Neither of them are convincing but Dream is clinging to his act for dear life#Nightmare has done far too much people pleasing and is giving up#Luckily Blue is so incredibly chill and just rolls with it#The boys are pretty suspicious but they’re more worried than anything#Like boss did something happen? should we call someone??#I want to draw more but I have to sleep 😔#One more day of work and then I have some free time!!
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“fuck off terfs and radfems” *proceeds to write 3 paragraphs of radfem talking points* lol ok. I see you. you thought you were slick huh
wh. What
#Whatever I wrote I promise you it’s far more likely Im just stupid#do you KNOW how paranoid I am that I’ve secretly been a massive asshole without noticing my whole life#I promise you I am playing 4D Don’t Be A Dickhead chess at all times#If I’m parroting radfem rhetoric tell me where so I can reflect and improve myself plz#I have not been slick a day of my fucking life
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Can't any more.
#gonna riot.........stop making kenzaki homeless 2034#i'm BEGGING#kamen rider blade#kenzaki kazuma#aikawa hajime#kamen rider#creeping in through the door: i'm BACK#this took so many drafts aldfkjalkwej i didnt know how to express myself here hah#its sometimes fun to mess around in vertical scroll for comics....... not my preferred format though i'm finding#kenzaki would immediately run as far as possible but.... man!!! was he just living his life? for once?#had it been long enough that peace and happiness had become as mundane as it should be for each one of us?#how long does it take you to afford yourself the luxury of not thinking about what you could lose?#did he and hajime have time to build a home and fill it with junk and form a routine together? did it just disappear? gaggghghhghghhghghg#put him back! put him back!#oh just put me outta my misery already my address is------(jk jk)#kamen rider blade spoilers#kinda?????
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules
the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)
almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)
they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning
(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)
even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)
so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim
it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character
the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring
we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)
it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other
sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother
#i could go on forever theres literally so many examples#dean figuring the ‘two dark doubles’ is a shapeshifter sam figuring out the changing ghost is a tulpa#also peak how many of these examples come from dean despite them pushing so hard for sam to be the one knowing hunting theory#this format is why i cant stand watching the first season of charmed despite loving it so much#i just cant be bothered watching them have the same struggle ive seen a hundred times play out again#different genre but sons of anarchy does this well too; all the characters are already in the club life and already have inner conflict#spn having such a natural introduction makes me so glad they didnt go with the original plan of sam not knowing about hunting#that wouldve been Painful#watching spn so young has really shaped my view of media bc i legit cant stand things with a learning curve#give me an established world damnit#lord of the rings never stops to explain what a dwarf is! you just go with it! and it rules!#dean is just as theoretical and lore savvy as sam and id go as far to say he actually knows more#instead of trying to do this bullshit brains v brawn divide they shouldve done new tech vs analogue#sams laptop is famous and he also knows how to hack thing where the second dean doesnt know something he defaults to books#have dean be the one where if its written down he can find it almost like a proto bobby#they even kind of support that by him being the one to find the phoenix in s6 when they go through all their books#but this was 2005 and characters could only be so conplex and theyd already decided dean needed to be the hot one and sams the nerd one#side note how many of these metas am i going to write on this rewatch? tbd#side side note included all the quotes and episode numbers makes me feel so academic#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#carry on my wayward son#talk meta to me#meta#supernatural meta#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#save post
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oh wow he’s such a great architect!!
#playing re4 and having the time of my LIFE#I’ve only played 3 of the games so far (this being the third one) BUT THIS IS ABSOLUTELY MY FAVOURITE#10/10 way to spend a sunday evening#lost my mind a little at the beginning because the controls were different 💔#I KEPT ACCIDENTALLY USING MY KNIFE TRYING TO PICK UP ITEMS#re4#re4 remake#re4make#re4 leon#resident evil#resident evil 4#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#resident evil memes
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