#but god did lou act so well

[louferrignojrofficial]

tommy still looks so fucking beautiful even when he’s leaving my screen and buck’s life forever

[andromeda-galaxy2877]

I Promise...I'll do better.

First write fight attack! @untitled-tmnt-blog 's prompt 2, "New dad Splinter (Rise), very unprepared, but doing the best he can" this is for @tmnt-write-fight !! Y'all know I adore Rise Splinter, I just HAD to pick this one for my first attack. I hope you enjoy!

Quick warning! This fic does depict some issues with body image, due to Splinter's mutation.

-----------------------------

Lou was far out of his depth.

Huddled in a box in a rainy alley, four sleeping little baby turtles— whom of which he was beginning to fear weren’t really just animals anymore— curled in his arms, sheltered from the cold.

Babies.

They were babies.

Not animal young, not little creatures, not pets— babies. Children. Once he’d gotten over his initial panic and the chaotic whirlwind of emotions that had swamped him over being a literal goddamn rat now it hadn’t exactly been difficult to realize how the turtles had changed.

‘...What on earth do I do now?’

Going back into the Hidden City was completely out of the question. Big Mama would have her people crawling around all over the place trying to find him, to force him back into that arena. Not to mention Baron Draxum would certainly be looking for Lou Jitsu and his creations, determined to fulfill their true intention. 

‘Over my dead body.’ Lou’s hands curled over their shells protectively. There was not a chance in hell he would allow these sweet creatures to become monsters. 

So that ruled out the Hidden City, where Lou’s…new appearance would be accepted without second thought. But…the human world wasn’t exactly the best place for that either. He grimaced, pulling his legs closer to his body. His stomach roiled in disgust at the fur he could see poking through, his misshapen feet. ‘What did he DO to me?’

The sight of his monstrous, clawed hands curled around the innocent creatures made his stomach churn. His body still ached from the transformation, his vision was different— blurrier, he had assumed that it was from the panic but it was staying— ‘Why is it staying??’ He was disgusting, a monster, he—

A soft squeak caught his attention, snapping him free from the downward spiral. He looked down, noticing the large spiky turtle gently nuzzling into his hand. Lou’s eyes softened as he gently stroked the baby’s shell, chuckling softly at the ensuing…chirp? Turtles chirp?

‘Right. I…need to figure out what to do.’ Lou swallowed tightly, daunted by the sudden responsibility thrust onto his shoulders. He had never done well with this before, and now to be responsible for other lives? Oh dear god.

Gathering the babies close to his chest, Lou carefully exited the box, hesitating after he had gotten to his feet. Returning to the human world would be impossible now. He was hit with a wave of desolation, pure defeat at that realization. ‘I could never go back to my career like this. Could I even go back at all…? How long has it been since I was taken?’ He didn’t even want to know. ‘My coworkers, my friends…’ He…he would never see them again. They would never accept him like this.

His life was over.

A little warble caused his gaze to lower, the stinging in his eyes signaling the wet drops falling onto the babies’ shells was not only from the rain. The one with orange spots was looking up at him with big eyes, another soft warble escaping its beak. It was then Lou realized it was shivering—- they all were. 

Something solidified in his chest. His life may be over, but theirs had only just begun.

He would not fail them.

Shielding them closer to his chest, Lou made his way towards the back of the alley, searching for something that could act as a better shelter than that worn and torn box. Dumpsters, a pile of garbage bags, a torn up pile of blankets…a manhole.

Lou grimaced, hissing through his teeth. That would be disgusting. But… ‘What choice do I really have anymore?’

Passing the babies into one hand, he gripped the manhole cover in the other and hauled it to the side. The ladder seemed to lead into an endless abyss of darkness, his vision swimming for a moment at the daunting sight. He hesitated, ‘...Is there nothing else I could do?’

One of the turtles— the one with the soft, leathery shell— let out a fearful little chirp. Lou immediately gently stroked its shell, shushing it. “I know, little turtle. I know…don’t be scared.” 

‘That’s MY job!’ He thought with a shaky chuckle. Cradling the four babies in his arm, Lou carefully climbed down the ladder with the other. 

_______________________

A few hours had passed since then. And Lou had never felt so out of place in his entire life.

He had found a large atrium, deciding to make it into their home. Using some old blankets and a damp box he had grabbed from the alley, he formed a bed for the babies. And for a few haunting hours, Lou had sat and contemplated the complete shitstorm his life had become as the babies peacefully slept.

And then a piercing wail broke through that fog.

Lou startled, a sharp gasp of surprise escaping him as his hand flew up to cover his heart. He looked over at the box, eyes wide and heart pounding as he carefully fished out the shrieking turtle. ‘Is it hurt?? What happened?!’

The other babies let out whimpers as their sibling was taken from them, but Lou ignored them as he turned the baby over in his hand. The turtle looked up at him, sniffling, before letting out another cry.

Lou flinched, his ears pinning down to his head to try and block out the noise. He patted the red-striped turtle’s shell soothingly, grimacing “It’s alright, it’s alright little turtle…what are you crying for?”

The baby paused, blinking a few times. Then a series of chirps escaped its beak, rapid and increasing in volume.

Lou winced again, rubbing his head. “My, you are a talkative one, aren’t you…”

‘Something’s wrong. It doesn’t seem to be hurt though— what’s the problem??’ Lou’s concern grew as the wails did in volume, even more so as the other babies joined in. He carefully set the red-striped one back with its siblings, but unfortunately that did not stop the cries.

And then it hit them.

‘They’re hungry! Oh I’m so stupid—’ How had he not thought of that?!

‘...What the hell do turtles eat?’

Well, it was time to find out. Lou hesitated as he looked back down at the babies, their tearful little eyes and wobbling lips striking his heart. His gaze softened as he scooped the babies up with their blanket, holding them to his chest. “Alright…let's go find you turtles some food.” 

All four babies let out a chaotic little series of chirps, the red-striped one patting his little hands against the leathery-shelled one’s face. It immediately grumbled, snapping its teeth at the fingers.

Lou sighed, shaking his head fondly as the spiky one shuffled its way between them, chirping in annoyance before settling against the blanket with a little chirp. The orange spotted one seemed content to just rest beside its siblings, but its expression was twisted. 

Hungry. The poor babies were still hungry.

Lou began making his way out of the atrium, heading back into the tunnels towards the ladder. He grimaced as his bare, spindly claws clicked against the grimy concrete below. He did not want to be doing this, doing any of this— all he wanted was to huddle up in a corner and cry.

But as the soft sniffling of the red-striped turtle started up again, that thought faded away in an instant. All that mattered right now was taking care of these little turtles.

Climbing up the slippery, wet ladder one-handed was a lot easier going up than down. Easier to see where he was going, at least. As he made it halfway— his arm slipped. 

Heart lurching into his throat, Lou instinctively released his cargo to grab the ladder— before he immediately realized what he had done, and nearly dropped himself back down the ladder to catch the bundle.

‘Tell me they’re alright, tell me I didn’t already fail them—’

Lou could barely breathe as he carefully untucked the top of the blanket, counting one, two, three—

Three turtles.

Where was the red-striped one?! Lou’s ears were ringing, chest so painfully tight he could barely even think— and then a squeaky giggle caught his attention. The man turned his head, spotting the missing turtle sitting on the rung right over his head.

Lou blinked rapidly, the relief he felt near-dizzying. “What are you doing up there, you silly daredevil?” He reached a clawed hand out, gently scooping the baby back into his arms, and safely returning it to the blanket with its siblings. “Give me a damn heart attack, why don’t you…”

He finished climbing up the ladder, taking a moment to sit down outside and catch his breath. The rain seemed to have halted, dawn’s light gently painting the alley in a warm orange glow. As his panic slowly ebbed, guilt quickly encroached on where it had once been.

‘Why did I do that?! That was beyond reckless, so stupid— it could have died, they ALL could have!’ Lou swallowed tightly. 

He was not cut out for this.

He had never wanted to be a parent. He blanched at the word, terror striking him. ‘I can’t be a father. I cannot be their father, they need someone better than me.’

But who? He couldn’t just leave them at a pet store and hope for the best, they clearly weren’t normal turtles anymore. It didn’t take a genius to realize that. The human world would never accept them. Leaving them somewhere up here would only be a death sentence, either some small-minded human would hurt them or bring them to a scientific laboratory to be—-

‘NOPE. NOPE. Do NOT follow that line of thought, you JUST calmed down from panic!’ He scolded himself, shaking his head. No, the human world would not be safe.

The Hidden City could be…maybe there was an orphanage that cared for children, maybe he could find them a good family. With parents who were equipped to handle them, ready to raise them, who wouldn’t put them in danger by climbing a wet ladder with them with one hand.

But…

‘If Draxum found them...’ No. No, that was not an option.

The turtles’ only option was him. 

“I’m sorry…” He whispered, curling his knees to his chest as he cradled the babies closer. “You deserve so much more than me.”

The spiky turtle’s face scrunched up, an incoherent soft little murmur-babble leaving his beak as he gently patted Lou’s muzzle.

Lou chuckled wetly, smiling softly as the other little turtles followed the spiky one’s lead. “Thank you, little ones. I…I will do my best to care for you.” ‘I can only hope it will be enough…’ “Now. Let's find you food, shall we?”

The little turtles remained curled up in a little huddle together as he stood, eyes scanning the alley. His vision was still blurry— only further confirming his fear that this was permanent— but he spotted a large enough scrap of fabric to wrap himself in. The man carefully set the babies down as he did so, doing his best to cover every inch of exposed fur and otherwise rat-like traits.

A series of chirps caught his attention; Lou turned, heart leaping as he expected to find the babies in peril again— only to see them all messing with bits of fabric. It seemed it had come from a rainbow t-shirt, but the spiky turtle was hard at work chewing it to pieces, a scrap of red fabric still hanging from its jaws.

Lou chuckled, kneeling down to pull the fabric out of its mouth. “That’s not good food, little— uh…” 

He forgot to name them.

‘I should probably do that.’ They needed good names, something meaningful…he couldn’t think of anything now, with his mind the chaotic spiral it had remained trapped in since he had escaped that wretched lab.

He glanced around between all the babies again, noting the colors they were on— or, in the spiky one’s case, currently chewing on—- ‘WHERE DID IT GET MORE?!’ — Red, Blue, Purple, Orange.

“I’ll call you all that for now. While I think.” He muttered, scooping the little ones back up. Maybe he could take pieces of cloth on the way back, give them each little necktie bandanas? Whatever. That didn’t matter right now; what did matter, was finding these babies something to eat.

…Maybe visiting a pet store wasn’t such a terrible idea. Just to ask what to feed a turtle. That would be his first step. Then he would find said food, get the babies properly fed and bring them back to that atrium…and then…

Then…take it day by day. Raise them as best he could. It was all he could do now.

Lou was far out of his depth.

But maybe…

Maybe everything would be alright in the end.

[louloulemons-posts]

New Beginnings

eddie munson x fem!reader

requested by @jonaslover2006

summary : at the bottom

word count : 1k

warnings : not proofread, aftermath of vecna, eddies recovery, it’s basically just fluff, pet names.

a/n : heyyyy, so sorry this took so long to write and put out. i hope it was okay 🫶🏻

- lou

1k celebration found here

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

The beeping sound of the machines became a background noise, easy to ignore. After 3 days the stiff chair almost began to feel comfortable.

3 days. 72 hours. 4320 minutes.

Eddie was still unconscious. The surgery had gone well, he’d lost a lot of blood. He’d gone through a lot, so his body had to rest for a while.

You wanted nothing more than to see his beautiful brown eyes open again. They still didn’t know if he would wake up, the bats had done a lot of damage.

You and Wayne had been here the whole time, the man couldn’t convince you to leave. Your friends had been bouncing between Eddie and Maxs rooms.

Although you loved the redhead girl, you couldn’t stomach leaving him. You’d never leave him.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

At some point you’d fallen asleep, head resting on the bed next to Eddies thigh, hand holding his. It wasn’t comfortable at all, but it was the closest you could be.

Waking up you felt a hand softly running across your hair, slowly you woke up. Lifting your head from the bed, rubbing your eyes, you saw a faint smile from the boy covered in bruises.

“Hi Sweetheart,” he said, his voice hoarse.

“Eddie,” you breathed out, tears immediately flooding your eyes. “It’s okay, I’m okay. Come here,” he pulled you up onto the bed.

You were careful where you touched, knowing his torso must be sore.

“I thought-“ you began.

“I know baby, I know. But I’m here.”

“I’ve gotta tell Wayne.”

“He already knows, he’s gone to tell the kids. Get a doc.”

“Why’d you let me sleep?”

“He told me it’s the first time you had in days.”

“Edward.”

“Sweetheart.”

“You’re an idiot! Why would you do that!” you immediately felt angry. He’d left you and Dustin, running back to stop the bats.

“I had to keep you safe.”

“You could have died!”

“But I didn’t.”

“Eddie-“

“I’m okay. Please, can we not fight. Please, I don’t want to fight with you.”

You sighed into his neck, kissing his pulse point. “I love you.”

“I love you too Eds.”

“I’m gonna do better, for you. For us.

Pushing up, you looked at his face, brushing his curls from his face. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m gonna graduate, I’m gonna stop the drugs. Get a job. Get us a place of our own. I’m gonna do better.”

“Oh sweet boy, you’ve already done so much. You don’t need to do better, you’re doing fantastic. Just do one thing for me.”

“Hm?”

“Get better.” You kissed his cheek.

In that moment, Eddie knew he wanted to do all of this. Not just for you, but for him. He wanted to be the best he could. He wanted that life with you.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Hello!” you called out as you walked into the trailer, sliding your shoes off. Soon followed by your coat. “Sweetheart!” Eddie smiled, walking over to you.

“You look very cheery, what’s up?” you asked. “Can’t I just be happy to see you?” he acted as if he was offended, but he couldn’t remove the grin from his face.

You cocked a brow, “You gonna tell me or not?”

“I got a letter today.”

“And, what did it say?”

“It was from the school.”

Your eyes widened, you’d been waiting on this letter for weeks. Wanting to know if Eddie could graduate or not.

Pulling it out of his back pocket, you took it from his hand, re-opening the envelope. “Oh my god!”

“Oh my god,” he repeated.

“O’Donnell gave you a C+”

“She gave me a C+”

“You’re graduating!” Your arms wrapped around his neck, hugging him tightly. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Couldn’t have done it without you.” You smiled at him, pressing your mouth to his.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Eddie had done what he’d planned too, got himself a job at the local mechanic shop. Along with his music on the side, he was doing good. You had a job too, along with going to college.

You and Eddie had both saved up enough to get a little place of your own. The moving process wasn’t awful, neither of you had loads of stuff. “That’s the last box,” he said.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” you spoke, wrapping your arms around his waist. “We’ve done it now. Wanna back out?”

“Never,” you smiled, kissing his chin.

“Now … unpacking.”

“I bet I can unload the whole kitchen before you’ve even finished your D&D stuff.”

“Oh you’re one.” You went to grab one of the boxed, but Eddies arms wrapped around you, dropping you onto the soft couch. Lips meeting your own.

“What was that for?” you asked.

“I just love you.” Your face flushed at that.

“I love you too.”

“I know.”

“Okay Han Solo, let’s get this place sorted!”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Head rested on top of yours, you and Eddie sat in bed. He was reading The Lord of The Rings to you - again. “I love this,” you said against his chest, kissing one of his scars.

“Hm?”

“Our simple little life. I love it. Being with you is my favourite thing.”

“It’s mine too. I want it to be us all the time.”

“It will be Eds.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“So uhm, you’d go with me to the fires of Mordor?” he asked, cheeky grin on his face.

“I’d follow you anywhere.”

“And I’d follow you. I’d also marry you, but uh will you marry me?”

You lifted your head from his chest, now seeing he’d put the book down, a ring in his hand instead. The ring was beautiful, it looked like winding vines, holding a stunning green agate stone in the centre.

“Oh Eds-“

“I love you. I want to spend my life with you, I want to be with you through the ups and downs. We’ve been through so much together, I never want that to change. So my sweet, beautiful girl. Will you marry me?”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Thank you so much for reading!

Please leave any requests 🤍

[aphroditelovesu]

what would everyone's reaction (targaryen, hightower and velaryon) be if the reader were autistic like helaena?

❝🐉— lady l: i don't know anyone who has autism, so I'm not sure what I wrote, since I researched some characteristics of autistics on the internet. But I don't wish to offend anyone, the use of words ''special, different and condition'' are just ways of saying autism without using the word itself, without any pejorative form. If something is wrong feel free to let me know.

tw: mention of autism and possible murder. As the story takes place in a medieval environment, the word ''autism'' did not exist, so I will refer to it as a condition, aiming that autism is NOT a disease.

❝word count: +1,6k

❝Yandere!House's Targaryen, Velaryon and Hightower Reaction: If the Reader is autistic:

Viserys I Targaryen

Viserys would be even clingier with the reader than he already is. He is not very close (or not close at all) to his daughter Helaena, everyone knows how attached he is to Rhaenyra, but little is said about how obsessed and clingy the King is with you, even more than his firstborn daughter. Your condition made you fragile in his eyes, more than he ever considered you. Viserys is very protective of you and there's nothing he wouldn't do for you, his beloved child, and even if you're as special as Helaena, it wouldn't make him love you any less, quite the contrary, it would strengthen your bond, for he would never let you out of his sight for fear you would get hurt. And gods forbid anyone say anything bad about you, for Viserys will have their tongue.

Rhaenyra Targaryen

Rhaenyra is the only one who sees benefit in your condition. Knowing how possessive she is of you, knowing that you are uncomfortable in crowded or noisy places, preferring the quiet of your room, would make everything even more convenient for her possessiveness. Don't get her wrong, she knows that the thoughts that come to her mind the moment she lays eyes on you are not normal, even more so because you are different from others, but she knows that if you are treated differently or special can just annoy you. So, she's normal with you, clinging to her beloved sister/brother and being possessive of you in just the right measure, but still, everyone notices how soft she is with you and will rarely touch you if she notices you're uncomfortable.

Daemon Targaryen

Daemon is, surprisingly, the most compassionate of them all. He knows that you are different, that you are misunderstood by others and he identifies with that, of course, excluding the fact that you have a condition that he does not have. He's one of the only ones who treats you the same way he does everyone else, sure, he's more affectionate and kinder to you anyway, but he'll never act any different around you. You are special, not just because of your condition, but because you are, well, you. For Daemon, he doesn't care about any of that but your happiness and safety. He will still remain protective and possessive of you, but in a way, he will be more tolerant and patient than he ever was. Like Viserys, The Rogue Prince will get rid of anyone who says a word about your condition.

Jacaerys Velaryon

Jacaerys would never, under any circumstances, be indifferent or distant from you. Everyone knows how obsessive and protective Jace is of you, this is something that has stuck with him over the years and will never fade no matter how much time passes. You are of utmost importance to the prince and he doesn't care if you are different from the rest of his family, you are still you and he will continue to love you the same way he always did, you know, the Targaryen and yandere way. Jace will remain the same as ever, loving and devoted to his obsession with you. But in this particular case, he will be even more defensive and clingy towards you, he will show his cruel side to anyone who crosses him, who crosses you. No one will harm you while he's alive.

Lucerys Velaryon

Lucerys doesn't quite understand what you have, why you are so calm and often act strangely when someone touches you or at loud noises, but whenever he sees the panic in your eyes, he will rush to your side and get you out of that situation, murmuring words of comfort to you. Luke can act reckless when it comes to his obsession with you and he probably will, but this boy will cling to you in every way. He is possessive and doesn't want your attention to be anywhere else but on him. You are special to him and he will not let your attention and love be stolen from him.

Baela and Rhaena Targaryen

The twins are glued to you from the moment they set eyes on you, often getting into unnecessary fights for your attention, but in the end, what really matters is that you are there for them and they will be there for you. No matter what happens. Baela is more graceful than her sister, she is the first to notice her behavior seen from the fact how she almost always wants to grab you for dance lessons, fitting your arms together. As soon as she realized how disturbed you were by her touch, she released you and went to tell her sister about it. Rhaena will be more subtle than her sister, but they are possessive and won't take much pleasure in being taken away from you.

Corlys Velaryon

Corlys will worry about you, questioning what's wrong with you, but don't be offended, not in a bad or accusatory way, but worried. He will respect your space and keep you out of noisy places, when he sees that you hate either of these things (or both) and will make a point of accompanying you if you want. He is very protective of his beloved child and will do everything in his power to ensure your comfort. You may be different from the rest of the family, but that doesn't matter to him or any of the Velaryons, you are loved and always will be.

Rhaenys Targaryen

Rhaenys was probably the first to notice her condition, due to her spending a lot of time with her. At first, she would be worried about you, but when she sees that this poses no risk to you, she will breathe a sigh of relief. The way you act or talk will never bother her, in fact, she might even find it endearing about you. One of her charms, she will tell you. She makes you special, making it clear how unique you are. She is loving and motherly, taking care of you with all the care in the world.

Laena Velaryon

Laena is the closest to you out of the Velaryon's, she's the only one who can really get close to you. Really get closer to you. She is no different in the way she acts around you, she considers you to be her little sister/brother which automatically means she should have your back. Any mean comments made about you will lead her to protect you and make sure the wrongdoer is taken care of immediately. You can always count on Laena.

Laenor Velaryon

If you think Laena is protective, that's because you don't know Laenor. He loves you, simple as that, the way you are. He doesn't care about your way of being, in fact, he even likes it, it makes you even more unique. He will always look after and protect you, he is your big brother after all it is his duty. He won't mind killing anyone who dares to disrespect you. To make sure you're okay, it's quite possible he'll follow you around, just in case.

Otto Hightower

Otto is very close to Helaena, at least more than the other grandchildren he has, but he is even closer to you. He feels closer to you and more connected than he does with the rest of the Hightowers, even his own daughter. You're perfect in his eyes, there's nothing wrong with you, and anyone who says otherwise will bitterly regret it. He will always support you and act natural around you, allowing himself to be vulnerable.

Alicent Hightower

Alicent is already more familiar with your unusual behavior than the others, having Helaena as her daughter. She is especially attached to you, she is always finding excuses to be in your company. She acts delicate and caring around you, being as loving as possible and trying to support you. Alicent loves you very much and nothing you do, or the way you are, will stop her from loving and caring for you the way she should.

Aegon II Targaryen

Aegon is a big hypocrite, basically. While he says his sister is weird, he's totally different with you, complimenting you and saying how perfect and special you are. He doesn't care about many things but he cares about you and he will try nothing more than to please you, he wants it, he needs it. Just like the rest, he will kill anyone who says anything about you. You are perfect in his eyes and end of the history.

Helaena Targaryen

Helaena is the only one who doesn't have any kind of hidden interest in you from her family, she is what she is and knowing that you are like her makes her feel even closer to you. She is too kind for her own good and she will be for you, she doesn't usually show it, but she will do it to protect you if she sees that something bothers you or makes you upset. She will love talking to you about her bugs and will always take care of you.

Aemond Targaryen

Unlike his brother, Aemond was never bothered by Helaena's behavior and was always affectionate with her and he will be the same for you, only in a more protective and possessive way than he once was. Aemond will be more possessive of you, he fears someone will try to hurt you or take you away from him and he won't have that. He loves taking care of you, guarding you and he will always bring you something to make you happy, be it bugs like Helaena or flowers, whatever it is, he will do anything to see you happy. You are special to him and he will do anything to show you that.

[utilitycaster]

to elaborate on Indri and cross over a bit into Critical Role's current plot (spoilers for both WBN and CR):

Indri, Witch of the Wind and Stars, embodies a domain of the self, independence, and self-sufficiency. She lives at the north pole in a beautiful castle surrounded by an immensely hostile environment.

In the current arc, and specifically in the current episode, she has engineered a plot to dismiss the domain of the World's Heart, the seat on the Coven of Elders pertaining to community, humanity, and connection, held by Ame (Erika's PC). Such a dissolution of the domain would mean the death of Ame, its recently ascended witch.

Ame is able to save herself and her seat thanks to the help of her friends, particularly Suvi's (Aabria's PC) knowledge and intelligence gathering and Eursulon's (Lou's PC) fluency in the language of spirits. Through this group effort, as well as other adventures that put the coven's founder, Hakea, Witch of the Wandering Green, on their side, they learn that the coven cannot end their gathering with only four remaining witches lest the covenant that created it be dissolved.

It comes out in the final meeting that one of the other witches, Mirara, didn't know that destroying Ame would destroy the coven, and Hakea realizes that the plan was actually to also get rid of Mirara, leaving a coven of 3. Ame smooths this all over before it turns into actual violence by pointing out that perhaps Indri's intention was to inaugurate new witches (which they can do); but a crucial nat 20 insight reveals to her that Indri, in pursuing the power of unanimity within the coven (and perhaps leaning in too hard to her role) had intended to whittle the coven down to one: herself. She was possibly behind the more recent dissolving of two other seats. But Ame keeps that insight to herself, and Indri does recover as best she can and at least outwardly behave with all the generosity and kindness of a host and equal towards Ame from there on out, acknowledging the kindness Ame showed her and the debt she owes.

Brennan outright says it on the fireside: this confrontation ends because Ame has a bunch of friends and companions and is good with people and gains the support they provide. It also ends with the ancient, powerful, experienced witch of self-sufficiency needing to be rescued by the nascent, level 3 witch of community.

I think this is really helpful too in understanding why Ludinus Da'leth is such an unsympathetic figure. Matt said he found connection "beneath him". King Imathan Talviel of Uthodurn said he seemed stuck in the past and would not share his gifts nor engage in the community of Molaesmyr other than to heckle the priests. Ludinus himself doesn't say he was abused or pressured by those around him in his youth to follow the gods, only "told"; while this could be understatement, at least as told it seems as though he took other people's choice to find meaning in something he despised as a personal attack. The Cerberus Assembly is famously a nest of backstabbing strivers and its members don't care for him. The Vanguard is similar; Otohan thought little of him (and he of her), as does Zathuda, and while Liliana says he trusts her, she has her own doubts and Ludinus has said little of her other than to dangle her before Imogen. Essek, 7 years ago, told him to try making friends and he does not appear to have listened, and then, when he approaches Bells Hells (already a group hostile to him, due to him trying to feeblemind, attack, kill, and otherwise thwart them repeatedly) he acts as if he's doing them a favor and refuses to answer their questions, take responsibility for any of his actions, or give credit where due.

I suspect Indri will continue to be an antagonist and that some of her behavior is a front, but she is, at least, able to admit that she faltered and Ame did her an undeserved kindness, and in doing so she appears at least a little sympathetic. Ludinus's refusal to make any sort of connection to others seems to have left him utterly miserable within inches of a near-millennium-long goal. He's asking Bells Hells, people he's wronged in horrible and life-changing ways, to grant him a gift he seems to have scorned and rejected for his entire life; at least Indri recognized a freely offered one she did not particularly deserve for what it was. At some point, you do run out of chances.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV Ep3 Musings - Claudia & Louis (Spoilers)

I'm still teary & choked up while typing this. SUPER emotional episode. It's incredible how much they packed into one ep, too! But the second half of the ep was BY FAR the most emotionally impactful IMO. Jacob's acting is just WAY too good; he had me choking up something fierce.

Louis taking pictures of his food for no effing reason like all the social media girlies do; I love it.

Louis STILL tryna be Claudia's knight in vengeful black. U_U But just like before when he tried to save her from Lestat, he can't save her from Bruce or the Theatre or even his own eff-ups. DANG. 😔

YES YOU DO. If you wanna keep pestering her about trauma she doesn't want to think/speak about, then be prepared for the consequences.

AMC, you GOTTA kill Bruce on-screen for us, either in QotD during all the Burnings, or during the PL trilogy (Killer's death was GNARLY).

LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER ALMOST CRYING RIGHT THERE. God's strongest soldier, she's suffered more than Christ, JUSTICE FOR CLAUDIA. All rapists deserve the death penalty, IDGAF.

Understatement of the century.

I CACKLED at that literal DEMON TIMING. Armand was already AT the door while y'all were concocting your lies! Then he just strolls on in, uninvited! 😭

BULLSH!TE. Not that it matters, since vamps have SUPER-HEARING and can READ MINDS, you morons! Pack your bags and go back to America RIGHT NOW. 💀💀💀

Louis, beloved, bless your heart, but if you don't take your garbage attempts at lying back to NOLA and stop playing with this ANCIENT immortal dressed in all white like the effing BOSS PIMP you USED to be.....

Alpha DADDY Maitre Armand Sir, I take back every bottom Uke Omega joke I ever said about you~! 😍

Yeah, about all that.... 😬

Aaaaannnnnd THIS is where you effed up, Claudia.

And Armand heard the WHOLE THING. 😭

Look at her FACE. 😭😭😭😭

They KNEW she hated being treated as a child, and they KNEW her time was numbered cuz she lied about breaking their Great Laws, so they DELIBERATELY made the "Baby LouLou" role to humiliate her, and EXPLOITED her image to bring in extra revenue (how many BLACK actresses did they ever have in their coven/stage? ZERO); all while KNOWING they were gonna kill her and Louis ASAP.

I hate this Theatre coven with ever fibre of my being, Maitre.

Excellent point, Louis. Cuz I noticed in Ep2 that their apartment is kind of crappy--I assumed it was cheap & low class cuz of the tenants all being college students & sex workers, and I noticed a bunch of chipped paint everywhere; on the doors & walls.

They're slumming it in a studio, sleeping in the living room, as neither has their own room & she has to use a Murphy Bed. Major step below 1132; the exact opposite of how book!Claudia & Lou lived in Parisian opulence--highlighting my point that AMC!Claudia got NOTHING out out being a vampire.

But it's also pointing out how Louis covers all the cracks--in his MIND, in the lies he tells himself, just to live with the glaring problems he desperately wants to cover up & deny.

I'm finna yeet myself out the nearest window.

This is SO bizarre, cuz in this version Lou KNOWS Lestat's not really dead! In the book Lou set him on FIRE. So ofc he'd think Les was really dead. But here it makes no sense why he's carrying all this guilt!

Armand knew Lou & Claudia LIED, sure--but he SHOULD know Lestat's still ALIVE--he's probably chained up in the Theatre basement in one of those friggin "wet room burial vaults!"

THANK YOU.

The guilt is out of control. Louis, if Les couldn't tell you loved him after ALL OF THAT, then he's a effing fool who neither understands nor deserves you. Now go chop his d**k off!

Is that what you tell yourself when DreamStat's in bed with you every night? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I haven't seen mental trauma treated so well in Horror media since Senua's Sacrifice; this is incredible. 👏

Lou, give yourself a bit more credit--you're doing the best you can! :( Even if your best is an entire travesty. U_U

NOBODY TALK TO ME!

Just when I thought she was having a breakthrough, she doubles down on thinking Lestat lied to them about Europe being terrible. 🤦

(The way Lou clutches his pearls like he's having a heart attack--STOP it, ma'am~! 👌) And YES, you should've told her that you folded and spilled the beans to Armand and that she was walking into a trap, WTF!?! 😡

Jacob, your GirlDad is showing; PLEASE have mercy on us! 😭

EMMYS. 👏 GRAMMYS. 👏 OSCARS. 👏 TONYS. 👏

[blacclotusss]

I Could Not Prevent It

Claudia

Ah...the death of the vampiress Claudia...the day I have been dreading since...season one if I'm being quite honest with you. Before all of the murder plotting in episodes six and seven, before things went downhill halfway through episode 4, and before she even appeared on screen for the first time. My Claudia...my babygirl. When I learned about this show, I looked up all the characters and what happens to them, and it made me nervous that she was a child and would die in such a painful way. But, when I saw that she was aged up and would be Black, as her Daddy Lou would be as well, I was immediately protective of her and wanted nothing but the best. There was this delusional thought I had that maybe they would change the course of her fate and she'd be able to live as she deserves, but at every corner she turned, there was something else lurking and waiting to capture her; from her being turned, to Charlie, to Lestat and his nonsense, to Bruce, and all the way up to Armand and the Coven. Even before she was brought into Louis and Lestat's lives, the life she lived was one no person, let alone child, should ever have to go through. And then, she comes into this situation where the both of these men are turning her against her will for their own selfish reasons. I've always felt that way: Louis wanted something to fix after blaming himself for the riots and Lestat didn't want to lose Louis. Period. But, Claudia made the best out of her situation and was brilliant and defiant, doing her own thing despite what many told her she should do or act like. All the way up until her last moments in the flesh on Earth, she never backed down. And I absolutely love her for that, always will love her. She is such an amazingly written character in this show and I hope to see Delainey in so much more after this! 

The Trial

If this makes me seem biased, so be it, but none of what happened during that trial that came out of Lestat's mouth moved me. He knew exactly what he came there to do, but wants to get caught up in the moment and emotions when retelling the story. Goodbye! And for him to sit there a try to reveal "the truth" about what happened also did nothing for me. Lestat still had a part in everything that happened, EVERYTHING. That changes nothing! The retelling of the story was shit and so was that so-called apology because how can you apologize to him and not her? You put that girl through so much, verbally and physically abusing her. Asked if she would be a lap dog, let your mistress call her a dog, put your hands on her more than once, and threw her assault up in her face when she was trying to escape. Where is her apology? And had the audacity to look like that as she died. Save the tears and as Louis said "Fuck you!" Y'all can let that move you and have you kissing his feet if you want, but it changes nothing. He's still a piece of scum watched her die as she looked to him for help (Delainey's words) with tears like you didn't come here to watch her die. 

And this whole trial had such a racist undertone to it, from the descriptions to the depictions on screen. It just gave me "Hey look at the Black people provoking this white man to make him do these things." Literally everything, down to the cutting of the Achilles tendons, the way they treated Madeleine versus Louis and Claudia, etc. Just a tragedy all around. 

The final goodbye between Louis and Claudia...my God. It's the way that they didn't have a great greeting (that turning moment was not pretty, either version) and they only had a small moment of happiness between them before they were pulled apart. I already knew Louis was lying when he said in the previous episode that he did not feel anything when she left, but seeing them grab for each other (as well as his demeanor when speaking about her in Dubai) told me they loved each other; they've always loved each other. Yes, they butt heads, but you could always feel the love between them and I hate that they didn't get a proper departure. Lastly, my favorite moments in this episode were between Claudia and Madeleine. Madeleine being so out of it, to the point of not even understanding what was going on until the end, and still choosing to be with Claudia. Oh the waterworks! I'm so glad Claudia had someone that was all in with and for her before her demise. She, and the audience at home, was finally able to see and know what a Gothic romance is. This is immortal and eternal love between those that care and understand one another. I absolutely bawled when the both of them met the Sun and I don't think we'll ever see something so pure like that in this genre. I'll miss them both. And Louis...blow that theatre to pieces! 

Armand

Now you sir...what the hell are we going to do with you? I just...the man barely said anything this episode and he still managed to get under my skin. How strong are these vampires that you, the oldest one in the bunch and most powerful, cannot move nor prevent this from happening? Or did he really want her gone like I suspected he did last week? My money is definitely on the latter because he would have Louis all to himself and that seems like the goal with these men Louis cuddles up to. And he said Sam was guarding the gate, and no offense to Sam, but I'm sure Armand would be able to take him. But, what really got me was Sam was also seen helping put Louis in the coffin down stairs so what's the truth Armand? I guess we'll have to wait until next week. But, I did want to circle back to the racism, but in the fandom and not the show because I'm noticing the same pattern between everyone's reactions to the show. Y'all are on Armand's neck (warranted) for his role in this whole thing, but let the white man waltz on stage and let those tears fall and y'all are falling for it. I saw a video from a creator today, along with other tweets, calling Louis a master manipulator and how they'd known how evil he had been all this time. What? There's no way we're all watching the same show, not when you've come to that conclusion. There is zero consideration for Louis' feelings and thoughts at all. Y'all let your attraction to white cock cloud your judgement every time and it's sick to see. I hope you have no friends or family that have gone through anything like that because I'd steer very clear from you all.  

Season One Revisits

As I expected before the trailers dropped, there were two season one revisits in this episode. However, I don't feel as strongly about them as I thought I would and maybe it's because I overly analyzed those scenes before this. To me, the Claudia turning scene showed Louis' desperation for something to make him feel better after blaming himself for the riots. Him begging and pleading on his knees simply fueled just how broken he was. The most chilling part, however, was him dragging her like a child running around the house with a doll in tow. It's as if Claudia was his property, and you can even see that with him wanting her turned in the first place. With the episode five revisit, it didn't  change anything for me at all. I took it as Louis simply defending his child as was shown in season one and Lestat losing his temper and going overboard. He still had the upper hand and he knew it, he admitted it himself. It just feels like they brought it back up for no reason...why are we having Louis retell this again? He's already said what it was and how he felt. There was no reason for him to relive these memories once again in such a short span of time. I get it was for the plot, but at what cost? How many times do we need to hear the abused recount their abuse? 

[mabelstone]

Love Language

matt stone x reader

part three of handsome stranger <3

masterlist ✧˖°.

word count: 1.5k

cw: incredibly cheesy, gushy, sweet, slow sex... dare i say love making

note: if you've read/watched me before you, i keep imagining the female character in this with Lou's sort of charisma and fashion sense, minus the bright outward colours. like, very gentle and happy, lots of layers. just very cute.

***

You'd spent most of your evenings with Matt throughout Autumn. It was approaching mid November and there were certainly no shortcomings in the affection department. You'd come to learn his love language was words of affirmation and acts of service. He'd learned yours was physical touch.

He'd often show up with flowers or little treats he'd picked up on his way home from work. Once, he bought you a portable heater when you were struggling to acclimate to the very different Autumn than you were used to.

"It's fall," he'd correct you, kissing your forehead while you rolled your eyes.

This time you'd shown up to his place bundled up with a white fluffy scarf he'd picked out for you. It just made me think of you, he'd simply shrugged it off after you'd thanked him a hundred times. You wore a fluffy coat over a collared burgundy dress with white hearts printed over it, with black stockings underneath, something you'd grown accustomed to wearing everyday in the cold weather of New York. When you arrived, two coffees were waiting on the counter. He'd never drink his until you were there.

"Hey, pretty girl," he'd beam at you when you walked in, leaning against the balcony rails with a cigarette burning between his fingers. You stumbled out toward him, being engulfed in his warm embrace within seconds. The cigarette smoke didn't bother you anymore. It'd become almost a comfort, the smell sometimes lingering on your clothes, a welcomed remnant of the nights you shared.

After weeks of spending your time together, you still hadn't slept with him. It wasn't as if you weren't sexually attracted to him; by God, you were. You were just enjoying taking it slow for once. With Matt, time felt infinite, yet as if it were slipping through your fingers like sand. You were so enamoured by one another that you just wanted to consume each other, fusing each and every atom to his, merging into one synonymous being.

He was the whole package. Externally, sure, he was nothing short of breathtaking. Painfully handsome, tall, captivating. But him. The Matthew you'd grown so familiar with; expressive, gentle, warm, every nice word you could use to describe one's nature. He understood you. He was funny, tentative, and honestly treated you better than anyone ever had. Your dating history, with the douche bags in Australia, was... less than admirable.

"How'd your meeting go?" You smiled sweetly over your shared cups of coffee, your hands thawing around the hot mug and occasionally, between his hands.

"Good, meant my day finished early." He released your hand, stepping up from the couch to open the fridge. "So I had time to make you something." He grinned over at you, beckoning you over with the tilt of his head.

You giggled to yourself but followed after regardless. "Is that?-"

"Golden syrup dumplings," he mimicked your accent terribly, his smile just as wide as yours. "You said you missed your mom and she'd always make them for you so... a little bit of your home in my home."

You beamed before him, cheeks beginning to hurt from your unwavering smile. "You..." You leaned up to kiss him, grin impossibly growing against his lips. All you could do was shake your head incredulously, looking up at him with crows feet crinkling beside your eyes. "No one's ever been so thoughtful." Truthfully, you could've cried from just how sweet he was, but of course, you couldn't be too soft in front of him.

"It's just food," he brushed it off as he usually did, as if this were the most normal thing to do for someone. "Well, go on. Try it."

"It's usually served hot, but I'll let it slide," you joked, taking a spoonful into your mouth.

"So? The verdict?" He watched you intently, his eyes sparkling like a little kid in a lolly shop. "Good as mom's?"

You groaned exaggeratedly, grabbing him by the face.

"Better than mum's," you kissed him again, sighing into him. His arms snaked around you autonomously, your own draping around the back of his neck. He pulled you in closer, your fronts flush against one another. His hands travelled to your hips as he deepened the kiss, yours travelling the expanse of his neck and shoulders. "Bedroom?" You requested softly against his lips, Matt nodding before kissing you once more, taking your hand in his, leading you to his bed.

He sat down, pulling you to straddle his lap, peppering kisses along your neck and collarbones. You purred in his lap, craning your neck to give him better access. Your cheeks heated as you felt him harden against you, that welcome warmth glowing inside your stomach.

"Beautiful," he murmured against your skin, nimble fingers effortlessly unzipping the back of your dress. You stood with his hands in yours, allowing the soft cotton to slip off your shoulders, left to pool around your ankles. He stood too, allowing you to help him strip his shirt off. Your hands roamed his chest, his skin the most inviting warmth to your freezing digits. You helped him slip of his pants, too, both of you standing in your underwear.

To be fair, this was quite unusual for you. A newly introduced intimacy of soft touch and whispered praises. Nothing you'd ever experienced, yet it was the most comfortable you'd ever felt in a sexual manner. Few words were shared, yet there seemed to be a perfectly coherent conversation unfolding between you both that couldn't be translated into a spoken language.

This time you climbed into bed, pulling him on top of you. He was swift with connecting his lips to your skin again, clearly wanting as much of you as he could get. The feeling was unmistakably mutual. You leaned forward slightly, unclipping your bra before slipping it onto the floor. He marvelled over the sight before him, taking all of you in. You guided a hand of his to cup your breast, feeling your nipple harden under his touch. He palmed it with one, the other holding his weight above you. You snaked a gentle hand down to palm him through his briefs, your thread of patience thinning by the second. "Please," your voice was barely above a whisper, the dim light from the kitchen leaking into the room, bathing his body in an ethereal glow.

He nodded, kissing you tenderly before reaching into his bedside dresser and pulling out a bottle of lube. You helped one another discard your underwear, for the first time, no layer of clothing obstructing the feel of the others skin.

How could you gently tell him the lube wouldn't be necessary? One swipe of his finger across your heat delivered the message for you. He almost whimpered softly, watching the way your eyebrows furrowed slightly and your lashes swept across your cheekbones, eyes fluttering opening periodically to meet his gaze as he gently gathered your slick on his fingers.

His eyes met yours once more, a flash of uncertainty, soon extinguished by your smile and nod of approval.

Slowly, he slid himself in, inch by heavenly inch, lacing one of his hands with your own. He let out a deep, drawn out groan, a beautiful harmonisation with the mewl he pulled from you. Your stomach tightened instantaneously, those beautiful butterflies swarming in your lower abdomen as shocks of electricity pulsed through your nerve endings.

Soft breaths exchanged as he slid in and out effortlessly, your hands cradling his beautiful jaw. With each thrust, a gentle hum of appraisal slipping into the shared air between you; the most angelic sounds either of you had ever heard.

This was different than anything you'd ever shared with someone. Tender, premeditated movements, solely focused on making each other feel good. You kissed slow and gently, lips moving in perfect synchronicity.

"You're perfect," he breathed, lips ghosting along your collarbones as he continued to sink himself deeper into you.

Your eyes fluttered shut as you seemingly gained consciousness for the first time in your existence. The feel of his warm, soft skin of his unclothed body against yours, his soft lips brushing yours periodically; barely exchanging words beside his gentle praises and your pretty whimpers and breaths. You were completely aware of your every nerve ending, feeling all of his length delve in and out of your heat, filling you more than perfectly.

"Matt," your words were delicate as they lingered in the space between your mouths, soon buried beneath soft pants as the coil of pleasure within both of your cores began unwinding. You breathed him in, every sense of yours heightening.

He delivered his final slow but deep strokes, losing himself too as you pulsated around him, waves of euphoric pleasure pummelling you in his embrace. You both came down from your highs together, foreheads touching, fingers intertwined.

He gently pulled out, laying beside you, pulling you against his chest. You listened to his slowly steadying heartbeat, a nonchalant calmness you often felt in his presence dispersing through your bloodstream.

"Was this all just a ploy to get me into bed with you?" You lifted your head to face him, an amused grin playing on both of your flushed lips.

"No... but I think now I have another reason to bake desserts for you."

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here again my friend with a quick 🫂 for you. And now let's dive in.

So the great and unexpected: Madney!!! I didn't think we'd be getting much from them this episode, and it was starting to feel weird that we hadn't heard from them after Mara left, so I was so, so happy to see them finally get some dedicated screen time!!! And I loved how they handled their talk about kids and really brought home how solid and loving their relationship is (of course Chim already knew, that's her husband!!!). And while the well call-back being about their story was a surprise, it wasn't unpleasant, it worked and Kenny killed that scene, they never said it outright but you could feel Chimney thinking about his own brother when he was talking to the kid. And yeah, Maddie making a rule that she not be treated with kid gloves was so good to see, it needed to be said. Perfect subplot for them, no notes.

The incredible and only partly expected: Eddddddie!!! We are finally, actually dealing with the root of Eddie's problems and yeah it feels mean to say (but Tim kinda earned it after last season's mess) they are actually handling it well. The hot gay priest is a lovely bonus, but him being the one to push Eddie made sense for where Eddie is at now. And the Risky Business dance after shaving??!! TV at its finest. And as a last point actually putting "Oh, I'm straight." in the script?? That man is getting out and I can't wait, we are going to feats my friend.

Now not great but I get why but also I'm tired: The break up. So before I get salty let me just emphasize BONES 🥂🥂🥂🥂🎉🎉🎉🎉!!! Oh god it feels like we lived the literal seasons of BT 1.0 in these 10 or so episodes of BT 2.0 and I'm so glad its done for and we are free. That being said let's talk about the way they handled this. So is it just me or is Tim literally recycling his lonestar secret wife plotline for Tommy but with slightly less plotholes?? Because Josh's whole speech minus the Glee nonsense sounded a lot like his facebook post from that time. That man seriously needs to let his bad ideas die. Also whether your trying to face-value justify Tommy seriously hurting Abby during a rough time in her life (and I'm no fan of Abby) or trying to imply that we should let go of the racism and misogyny of the past in the subtext, "you don't know what's it was like to be scared and gay and closeted" isn't an excuse!!!! You don't get to magically wave away people being harmed by a character's actions OR someone close to those people passing judgement on those actions with a "pre-Glee" argument, its absurd. And yeah, maybe they had to have a good excuse for Buck to overcompensate and jump into "let's move in together!" but is this really the best they could do?? Speaking of Buck overcompensating, I repeat from last week, the hamster wheel is not fun!!! I mean at least they didn't actually move in together, but to try and pull off a last minute "I won't because I care too much" from the guy who just brought Buck tickets to watch a game he hates for an anniversary present is just 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. Also unless its part of his post-breakup spiraling we are once again not going to discuss the condescending attitude, the digs at Buck being mature enough, or telling Buck who he is all the way up until the final scene. I'm tired. Why did we go through all of this nonsense for months to end with Buck getting nothing from this relationship aside from realizing he's bi, we could've done that in 2 or 3 episodes last seasons and spared everyone the pain of trying to buy into's Lou's attempts at acting. Just ugh.

At least we ended with Buddie on the couch, which definitely feels like the start of something. Thoughts (salty or otherwise)??

Hello my friend, and thanks for the hugs, they are appreciated 🫂

Okay, let's get to it! I am SO very excited about a new Madney baby! They deserve to have a lovely, healing experience after the last time! Their discussions about joy were sweet and I loved their rules! They have to communicate, but with trust! He has to trust that when she says she's okay and doing well, she is, and she has to trust that if she is NOT doing well, she can speak up and he (and everyone) will be there to support her. I love this for them, and also for us! And also for Uncle Buck and the good stuff we can get there too.

The Eddie stuff was so good! We see him STILL hiding the actual truth of what happened in his storytelling and putting all the weight on himself! And even without the full story, Hot Priest Brian still knew exactly what was up and what to say to help kick-start Eddie's journey. As much as I hate this Chris plot dragging out like it has been, this episode gives some reasoning by telling us Eddie is keeping himself from joy to punish himself, and Chris has always been a joy for him. Hopefully we will see him taking steps soon to go get his son back.

As for the break-up, at the very least we can celebrate it being over! 🍾🥂🎉🍾🥂🎉🍾🥂🎉 I wasn't expecting it to be super satisfying but damn this show still manages to let me down 😒 I am *cackling* at the LS comparison because it's just like, same premise, different font 🙄. And if it didn't work the first time and actually got a LOT of criticism, why pull the same shit again? Except that BT 2.0 is called that for a reason because it's the same as BT 1.0 down to the stank face about an ILY, and a panicked "move in with me so I can prove I'm good enough" from Buck. How tired and boring.

I'm glad Bryan gave a speech that resonated with him. I'm glad it can be looked at with an Eddie lense. I'm NOT glad that we are excusing racism, and misogyny in the name of "protecting closet space". Eli was a white man who worked in the same house under the same people, and we NEVER see him engaging in that kind of shit! So it's not like T couldn't have hung out with him instead, he actively CHOSE to be part of the problem. And at the end of the day, we STILL see the misogyny from T, in the way he talked about Abby!

Literally, WHAT did Buck learn here? BT 1.0 didn't really teach him anything either because he left not because he was miserable and unhappy, but because she once again put people he loved in danger for her own personal gain. And even THEN they didn't actually talk about that or let anyone on the firefam make any comments about her behavior, or the way she treated him, or how unhappy he had looked. And here we are again, with Buck trying to shrink himself down to be what someone wants, while the show refuses to address it, even through other characters talking amongst themselves about their concern for Buck. NGL I snorted SO hard at Buck saying he didn't think T could be that cruel because that's the ONLY thing we knew about him as a person until they brought him back in s7. We literally could have avoided ALL of this and gotten rid of him in 7x05 and let Buck have an actual plot about exploring this side of himself, and reflecting on what he actually wants.

*deep sigh*

On the bright side!! Couch theory is fucking BACK! We got Buck having the same couch his mom got for him(???), we got T laying on it looking the most uncomfortable a human has ever looked on a couch (his head isn't even on the pillow??) while Buck is across the room starting an allergic reaction to the medicine T gave him, we got Eddie dancing around and jumping on the couch, and we got Buck showing up and them sitting in silence on Eddie's couch (the first time the two of them alone have shared a couch) with pictures of their missing son framed between them! What a way to end the episode! And next week is lightning strike trauma??? It feels good to be this excited about the show again, even if it still could use some work to get back to the level of the good ol days. We're on the right path!

Thanks for giving me something else to think about today 💙

[strawbrygashez]

I read a bunch of soapshipping fanfics today and I love how so many of them give Tyler actual flaws and treat him more human than he ‘actually is’ in the movie and…I wanna share some hcs i have that make Tyler ‘not perfect’ as well. I get the point that in the movie Tyler was supposed to have none bc the narrator needs to drool over him & see him as godlike but whatever. That man has issues. You can especially see this during when he was going Joker mode when he was getting beat up by Lou. Anyways this is going under a cut bc it’s long

————————————————————————

• I’ll start with the out with one that’s most common which is that Tyler is soooo bad at sharing how he’s feeling or being super heartfelt. The only person he even tells his true deep emotions to is the narrator after they’ve been together for a while. I feel like he would be that way due to how he was raised and or trauma. Getting him to admit to feeling uncomfortable is hard too. He wants to come off confident all the time so he will just smile at whatever is thrown at him even if it’s making him upset or anything like that. Also of course he has a hard time expressing how just deeply in love he is with the narrator and how much he cares about him. (Which causes problems for them both but they work thru it. Nothing could keep the narrator away from Tyler at the end of the day.)

He wouldn’t admit it but I think maybe he also resents himself for not being able to say certain things easier. He knows he hurts the narrator sometimes when he’s not saying ‘the right things’ and he genuinely doesn’t mean to hurt him in that way.

•He can get pretty jealous. Not like how the narrator feels like he’s about to kill himself bc someone even glanced at Tyler but like, if Tyler thinks someone is being a little too friendly to narrator or if he thinks the narrator might enjoy being around someone else ‘too much’ he gets all huffy, smiles threateningly, and either interrogates the narrator over ‘what that was’ later or just roughs him up some when they are in private again. He hates the idea so much that the narrator could look up to someone the same way he does Tyler. He has questions going through his mind along the lines of how are they better than him? What does he see in them? Do they make him feel more loved? And etc.

Hypothetically he should know that the narrator would rather die than touch anyone else & that the narrator sees him as a God but,, Tyler is just like that :/

•Ok now for a not widely accepted hc about Tyler. I don’t think he’s that good at writing or reading. He’s not terrible at it but I think he really didn’t give a shit about most things in school besides history. (He could probably give a big whole speech about how bad school systems are)

He doesn’t really care that he’s not that good at either of those things but does get a little embarrassed about it when the narrator points out he spelled something wrong. He will just grumble about “who cares?” or “whatever dipshit.” The narrator doesn’t mind that Tyler’s not the best at it and helps him out when he needs to without picking on him.

•Kinda canon but he’s a act before thinking type of guy in most situations. He prides himself on it for the most part but also there is times where it doesn’t end well for him. He will defend himself about whatever he did ‘wrong’ for a while until he finally is some how able to admit he’s sorry and shouldn’t have done something (only to the narrator. He doesn’t care that much if it’s anyone else that isn’t especially close to him)

•I think he had a self h*rm problem growing up. He doesn’t do it anymore now that he’s older bc he has fight club and whatnot. I think SH helped him come up with FC since he thought physical pain always helps solve mental pain.

He doesn’t hide the old scars since he can blame it on like a ton of different things and people don’t have a reason to doubt him. Like he can say he got them from years of fighting, while running away after getting caught doing stuff he shouldn’t, stuff like that. Sometimes he also just doesn’t lie about it and just says straight up what they are from. It just depends on who and how he feels that day. Like mostly the only ppl who know what they are really from are the narrator & tylers close family and maybe Marla.

Not to be cringe…I know the “he kissed my scars 😢😢” things can be cringe (believe me I would know) but I think Tyler thinks it’s sweet when the narrator does kiss his. The narrator hates that Tyler ever felt like he had to do that (but at the same time is okay with fight club??? Lol) The narrator has stayed up in bed while Tyler is sleeping and just looked at all of them and thought to himself about how Tyler must of felt, why he felt like he had to, and all that.

•My man has some kinda mental illnesses. I couldn’t say what but he just does. He’s a very impulsive man and can become very manic is all I can really say.

•He will get ideas and plans in his head and focus on them a little too hard and it’s hard to pull him out of it. The narrator is really not someone who should be fussing at people for not sleeping but he does anyways. He offers to work out whatever plans or ideas Tyler has while Tyler rests. Sometimes Tyler will let him & sometimes not. If not, the narrator will at least stay close to him so they can talk about whatever is on Tylers mind.

•He actually used to hate his laugh a little when he was a young teen. He got over it after a couple years and now doesn’t give a fuck what others think. He will laugh as loud as he wants in a quiet room if he wants to.

•Going back to that manic thing, I think the narrator can usually calm him down. It especially helps if he’s holding Tyler and pulls him away from whatever has him worked up. Narrator will run his hand up and down Tylers back or just talk to him soothingly. Tyler is usually thankful for it once he’s calmed down.

•Canon-ish again but Tyler can get a bit in over his head with some stuff. He believes he can do just about anything which leads him to getting into situations where he finds out he actually has little to no idea what he’s doing. He had this problem as a teen too like he’d say stuff like “Sure I could fix your fence!!” or just like little odd jobs around the neighborhood and he actually doesn’t have much of a idea what’s going on but It helped him learn how to do all kinds of different things in the long run. He just always finds a way to make things work more often than not in his own ‘Tyler’ way.

•Okay often he really doesn’t genuinely care if someone wants to listen to his speeches/knowledge or not. He likes sharing them since he knows they’ve helped others but he’s been doing that for as long as he can remember even at inappropriate times. Like I dunno, as a kid at a funeral I could see him just telling some random person there about how he knows how bodies decompose, how bodies slowly rot and what each stage looks like. (I think that’s why he loves the narrator. He loves how randomly weird he is as well.)

•He needs attention all on him. He loves it so much and feeds off of it. His favorite kind of attention is from the narrator and he will get snarky and whatever when he feels like he isn’t getting enough from him but also he just thrives off attention from anyone in general. It’s what makes him carry himself so confidently. He knows people are dying for a minute of his time and to be the idealized version of himself he puts off.

•He doesn’t allow himself to cry in front of others. More than likely it’s because of his father saying boys shouldn’t cry or be weak. He knows it’s bullshit deep down but he still holds that mindset for himself. (If another dude is crying like the narrator, he won’t give them much shit for it.)

•My final idea for right now….he hates the doctors and all things like that. He can say a ton of reasons why but the main ones are he just feels super uncomfortable at places like that because either 1. He doesn’t want them going on about how bad his or the narrators health is & being really worried for them and questioning them.. or 2. He just finds it hard to be as snarky or smart to ‘em. They all don’t usually fall for his bs unless they are a part of fight club or project mayhem.

[binkszamsstuff]

Cindy Lou who

I know it’s past Christmas but life got in the way of me editing this fic so pretend it’s Christmas Day still okay? Sorry 🩵❄️🎅 merry Christmas and happy holidays! I’ll see you in the new year!

Warnings:angst, kissing, Bucky and reader are idiots this fic is safe for work but I’m putting this ⬇️ here because my blog is strictly no minors! 🔞

“Wow plum look at you go!” Bucky laughed as you almost hit a rail skating too fast to come to an easy stop.

Just as you got your balance back and stopped laughing at your clumsyness you looked up to see Bucky on his phone again. Lately, for the past two months, bucky has been possessive of his phone and always on it. Smiling at it too. It made you uneasy, Bucky had had plenty of girlfriends in the past but he was always present when hanging out with you. You had lightly asked him last week if he was seeing anyone, he didn't hear you the first time because he was on his phone.

“W-whatcha’ you say plum?”

“I asked if you were seeing anyone, you’re constantly on your phone” you repeated

“No, what? no! why would you think that? You’re my best friend you know i wouldn't hide anything like that from you” james spoke nonchalantly, he patted your head like a child right before he went back to smiling at his phone and texting.

It worried you. This year after ice skating you and him were gonna go get dinner (this usually isn’t a part of your tradition) you wanted to admit your feelings for him tonight but his recent behavior had you second guessing, for one he was always on his phone texting and he sure as hell doesn't look like a giddy school girl from texting sam or steve, and secondly when you asked him if he wanted to go to dinner afterward he was suspiciously happy. He said that it was great that you asked actually because he could “kill two birds with one stone” When you asked him what he meant he brushed you off and now he’s saying he has a surprise.

You had a feeling that he was seeing a girl and you hoped and prayed that you were wrong but the way he was acting proved you right, but you tried to take his word for it because he was Bucky your best friend and he would never lie to you. Right?

Wrong. As you walked into the small restaurant bucky’s smile grew 10 times wider, he waved to a blonde girl sitting at a four-person table. He walked over to her you followed a desperate feeling coming over you where you wished this wasn't what you thought it was. ‘No not tonight! the night I was going to confess my undying love for you no. bucky why?! Why do you have to be a stupid man?’ you thought.

She stood out of her seat he put his hand on her lower waist, lower than a friend would. She pecked his lips. You noticed everything he did or didn't do, you watched as your personal hell ripped itself into the small restaurant.

“y/n this is Polly, my girlfriend,” Bucky said him and her still standing in front of you. You wanted to cry and run away, she was perfect the opposite of everything that made you. You stared in shock.

“Uh um, h-hi im y/n” you swallowed thickly after speaking. You hated yourself you should have listened to your gut.

Bucky looked at you confused, he didn't expect your reaction to be so flat. He thought you would be so happy but now you looked pale and uncomfortable.

“It's too nice to meet you y/n I've heard so much about you” Oh god she was nice too!

The three of you sat, you wanted to puke.

“I thought you weren't seeing anyone bucky?” you asked shakily

“Well, bucky and I wanted to keep it a secret. We just wanted to live in our little bubble for longer ya know” she answered for him

“How long have you two been together?” you asked, anger creeping in towards yourself and Bucky. Yourself forever thinking Bucky could love and him for lying.

“Two and a half months” she answered again. you abruptly pushed your chair out from under the table you hadn't even taken off your coat but you felt cold like you were dying in the North Pole. You grabbed your coat in a haste. Bucky's confused eyes follow you.

“Hey! Hey y/n what are you doing?” he asked as you walked towards the exit you didn't respond. You felt humiliated and heartbroken. ‘God the man I've loved like a fool for seven years! How could I be so stupid!’ you though to yourself

“y/n get back here! Whats wrong with you?!” Bucky yelled after you while he tried to catch up with you as you walked down the street. Finally, he did, he grabbed your arm yanking you around to face him.

“What the hells matter with you?!” he said angry now too.

“I have to leave! I-i cant be friends with you anymore!” you screamed

Bucky's face dropped “Wh-what why?” he said confused and sad.

“B-because I-I just can’t okay!”

“Bullshit tell me. Now!” he demanded

“I-I’m in love with you okay!?”

“What!”

“I invited you to dinner tonight because i wanted to confess my feeling an- it doesn’t matter anymore okay. You have a girlfriend an-and she seems so lovely and im sorry that i made her uncomfortable i-i need to leave.” you said

“How long?” his tone stoic and hard, he wouldn’t let you go

“Since high school b-but i didnt realize what my feelings for you were until this past summer when we went on our trip to the ocean” you whispered ashamed.

“I-i dont know what to say” you broke his hold walking away as fast as you could. Tears finally falling. He didn’t need to say anything because you already knew he didn’t hold the same feelings you did for him.

“Wait wait y/n” you were gone.

December 21st

You got on a flight back home for the holidays usually you would take this flight home with bucky but you couldnt face him. He called and texted you all night, but the pain and embarrassment was to much.

The flight was horrible and your mom picking you up from the airport was spent listening to her cheer on and on about how bucky had a new girlfriend. Your familes were very close.

You wanted to the ground to suck you under itself.

Sitting in your mom’s livling room while your family and buckys talked and laughed was awful. You could feel his sorrowful looks on your skin and thats what really ate you alive. After some point of faking smiles you went up to you old bedroom. It was just like you left it last year and before you left to explore the world with bucky. The laughs you and him had in your old room made you tear up. When you used to get sad or when his parents fought he would climb in your window in the middle of the night. You two would watch movies, cuddle one another whichever one of you who needed the comfort. Just two kids trying to find peace in the world they share with everyone but also their own. the two of you cheering eachother up. As you looked back you scoffed towards yourself for being so stupid because how could you not tell you were selfishly in love him? Holding him while he cried or when he was angry, cuddling while watching movies or playing bored games in secret so your parents wouldn’t find out. The shorting pain in your chest when he would introduce you to one of his new girlfriends was not normal friend behavior.

Then tears fell as you sat on your bed holding a pillow to your chest. You hated that you ruined your friendship, you hated yourself for thinking bucky, the play boy who got women who looked like models could ever love you back. You beat yourself up for not shutting up and sitting through that stupid dinner and at least being ale to keep him in some way even if its just as a friend it would be better than nothing.

Just as yout thoughts of self hatred were stacking up bucky walked in.

“What are you doing in here?” you asked trying to swipe you tears away before he could see them

He sat at the foot of your bed looking at you. “Hey hey, plum,” he reached forward bringing your hands into his “you never have to hide from me”

“I-im so so sorry bucky. You must hate me” you cried

“How could i hate the girl im in love with?” he brought his hand to cup your wet cheek lifting up your face so your eyes could meet his.

“ no no” you shook your head refusing to believe him. 

“Ive been hiding my feelings for a lot longer then you plum” he chuckled sadly. “i ruined the dinner you planned it was stupid of me to surprise you with me having a girlfriend. Every girl ive ever been with as always been me trying to distract myself from not being able to be with you. I thought i wouldnt have a chance with you in a million years, i thought having you as a friend was all i was going to get and thats better then not having you at all so i never told you and last night was was the best night and the worst night of my life because i found out that you loved me and i hurt you. Last night i broke up with polly. I only want you plum, i love you too”

You pulled bucky into a kiss, it was soft, new, it held every word the two of you have ever wanted to say to each other but thought you couldnt. It was love.

“I love you bucky”

“I love you too plum” bucky smiled pulling you back into a kiss.

[stygianoaths]

Luke Castellan and his team of godkillers but they don't kill with weapons stained with ichor, but with the illusive Mist that warps the mind of mortals so easily, it shakes their faith.

In eons past, these mortals revered the Olympians with offerings and prayers daily, told their stories that inspired fear and awe all the same. It was something the pantheon had gotten hooked on, something more addicting than the ambrosia and nectar the texts had waxed poetry over. And the council of twelve did their damn best to keep it around. After all, there was no other high out there that can compare to the feeling of being in control, of being powerful.

But like any high, it wears off, sooner or later.

So that's exactly what happens.

Alabaster C. Torrington, with the help of Dr. Claymore, "discovers" new texts that discuss Greek gods that have never been heard of before; gods who are kinder, wiser, more trustworthy, than the ones everyone has come to know in this era.

It's interesting, how the origins of these gods and their lives seem to have no relevance or connection to the other pantheon and its history. No Titanomachy or Gigantomachy to speak of. There are a few parallels, but they are pleasant, like the love stories of Dionysus and Ariadne or Pygmalion and Galatea. Otherwise, it's like an alternate timeline of its own, where every god present is named a god for a reason.

It's fake.

But the mortals don't need to know that. For what's false, if persisted in, would become true anyways. Furthermore, it isn't like a new pantheon will harm any of them. The lucky ones with clear sight may win the heart of a deity who would actually see them beyond their fleeting mortality, who would care for them.

It takes a while, though, for the mortals to adjust to this suddenly newfound information. They are stubborn creatures, Luke knows, who tend to fear the unknown and new. Yet the youth crave it like bears after a beehive laden with honey. With time, they'll come around, he knows. Maybe he might not be there to see if the plans work out for himself, but someone would, and that's all that matters to him. He just needed to be the one to start the movement.

Luckily for him, he doesn't have to wait too long.

The faith spreads through idealized modernized takes on the mythology, as silly as it sounds. It's very of the era, isn't it? Books are being published on these gods who endure hardships and come out irrevocably changed but for the better. Ethan flips through one by an author under the pen name S.J and devours it in three hours. It reads nicely and he wonders when he'll get a chance to meet the main character of the story, and ask her if the myth holds true. It is, obviously, but it's different hearing it from a god. The fanfictions are even better, but Lou Ellen Blackstone gets drowned out by Alabaster's "lalalalala" before she can start talking about the recent one that was updated a few hours ago. Eh, so what if it's a little spicy?

Nonetheless, the new band of believers grows, and it's like a sucker punch to the gut for the Greek pantheon.

Apollo comes to camp and drops to his knees before his own cabin, surprising the campers. He looks terrible. Dionysus had already looked miserable, but the children attributed that to his sour personality. And, as usual, no one noticed the girl by the hearth who had disappeared weeks ago. But Apollo, golden boy Apollo, well, he has eyes that are sunken and sickly yellow, matted hair, muscles shrunk, and hands that shake as if they are beyond his control.

"They're killing us," he whispers to Lee Fletcher, "all of us."

"What do you want us to do?" Lee asks. Apollo coughs into his fist and looks down to see a smear of gold staining it.

A nosebleed. Gods don't get nosebleeds.

His children, gods bless them, are trying to heal him, but to no avail. It's kind of funny, how on any other occasion, such an act would have been annoying. If the solution was to simply heal, don't you think he would have tried that? But, weak as he was, he felt touched. Loved, even.

But love wasn't always enough to save another. He, of all gods, should know that.

"Can you write?" he asks. Lee scratches his head.

"Write?"

"Stories. Poems. Songs. Anything."

"Um, no, not really. Dyslexia kicks my ass, and you know archery is more my thing. But Will does sometimes. Healing is his forte, but I always see him writing something in a notebook, though that could just be medical notes, now that I think about it-"

Apollo disregards that last part and begs Will Solace to take up the pen and fight back. It's their last hope. If nothing is done, this camp and its children will become all that is left of the Greek Pantheon, for textbooks and website links are not enough to keep the faith going, especially if left to collect dust or rot in an archive.

"Write us new myths. Stories that can happen now, that we can make happen. Redeem us, so that we can live. We'll do it. We'll do any of it," Apollo begs.

"Anything?" Will asks. Apollo nods.

"Anything."

The Fates looked at each other from above. How time has changed. In the past, battles were fought with swords. Now, they had to be fought with words.

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 47 - Indie

It is cute to see that indie is still friends with all the people he met during his adolescence.

Cough-cough. Unlike certain other people.

His and Kerubim's life stories are in direct opposition. If one of them ever spoke of their childhood, chances are, the other one would be like, "You have no parents? Well MINE was controlling so you have it better, WET-NOSE" or "You had a shit parent? WELL, AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T HAVE HIM DIE IN FRONT OF YOU WHEN YOU WERE 5."

No wonder they hate each other's asses.

Though, it is funny how both of them had fathers who had always acted like no matter what they do, they will never be good enough.

It's a shame we hadn't seen these friends of Lou's during the series. They have nice designs, especially the yellow one.

Not a Jurgen-Crepin food moment, but this might be useful for pinpointing which fruits exist within the setting.

Patafiks is so funny to me, like... Guys there are 5.5 characters in the animated shows who are canonically queer in some way. One of them fucking sucks, one of them dies within the 20 minutes of being introduced, the 0.5 of them is Kerubim Crepin's ambiguous gender dysphoria, the normal two are Simone and Julie, and the last one is a dogboy yandere (who briefly dated("dated") Kerubim Crepin).

We live in a society.

Indie talks about Kerubim the same way I talk about him on this blog. We are so alike...

Insert "this bitch always starting shit" meme here.

Even though Ouginaks and Ecaflips both follow the same god, — albeit his different sides, — this perfectly showcases the difference in ideology that makes them hate one another.

While Ecaflips are all about mysticism, destiny, prophetising, and simply letting the current flow, Ouginaks are all about making their destiny.

Though I will be real, considering the things Ecaflip puts his demigods through, — like the, uh, son leaderboard within his dimension, or his treatment of Kerubim, (and his hatred of women, I guess, since there is no daughter leaderboard?) — as well as the Ecaflip City and its Ecaflip Psychward, I think his two personalities are more alike than we are led to believe.

It's just that the kitty personality has more glitz, and is better at masking being just as sadistic.

This line really puts how long they've known each other into perspective. God.

It also makes me think hard about the tendency of Ankama to not make distinct visual designs for characters aging, — like in Waven. Despite 30 years having passed between season 1 of Wakfu, and the start of Waven, characters like Miranda and Kabrok still look exactly the same.

I had always associated young Kerubim's design with the age range of 19-30 at best, but who's to say he can't, in this episode, be in his 40s-50s? How many years did he and Lou live together for? And how large is the gap of that unaccounted for part of Kerubim's life, the one that he never opens up about, after Lou had left him?

...I think I hauve covid.

Y'know what, I think I will be insane for a minute, and say this:

Joris, Atcham, and Kerubim really are like platonic soulmates. It feels like every single thing in their lives somehow rhymes, — like every single step they took simply brought them close to the inevitable conclusion of being together.

Sure, whatever, just tell me things like "Atcham knew, and worked with Julith, and they had a pretty amicable relationship", "Yeah Kerubim and Indie rescued the Ivory Dofus that would one day lead to Joris's birth, and then would lead to his orphanhood", "Yeah Kerubim has always wanted to be a father, and felt a certain way about kids being orphaned the same way he was", "Yeah Atcham and Kerubim went to the same war where Julith and Jahash fell in love and were probably their seconds-in-command."

Tell me that. Expect me to be normal about it. I promise I won't disappoint you.

Anyway,

I always found it very interesting that, despite becoming the Champion of Bonta, it was not Indie who went to that war, but Kerubim.

Perhaps Indie was long happily retired by that point, — perhaps he veered from adventuring into archaeology, for his museum, — while Kerubim was old, with no friends, and not much to live for anymore.

It probably was a self-destruction thing, in the "Atcham, and The Butcher of Brakmar herself, will be there. I'm so bored, and tired... It will be poetic if I defeat them, or die trying to. Then I'll be a legend. Also, there are a lot of people at wars, maybe one of them will be friendly to me :3" way.

World of Twelve heroes are always doing this shit. 💀 though considering he can't die, this isn't even suicidal ideation. It's ideation-ideation. God.

Despite everything, Kerubim does care about Indie, a lot. Indie seems to have cared for him too, — but, at times, I really do wonder if Kerubim's feelings for him ran much deeper than Indie's.

Every sign of genuine emotion is laughed at, and a genuine "I had always respected you" gets a downright haunting "yeah, and your taxidermied head will look nice in my museum when you die".

That must hurt, doesn't it?

It's funny, how life works out. Just like Kerubim, he ended up raising his kid in a completely opposite way than how he was raised. And then he dies, and his kid gets taken in by Kerubim, — who has already taken in the child of his another enemy.

...The implications of Lilotte's life make me sad. Unlike Joris, she didn't grow up in a hazardous, infested, hoarding environment. Indie was likely not mentally ill to the shits. Yet Joris's worst nightmare, — his father passing away, and him being forced to fend for himself, — actually happened to her, immediately ripping away the normal, maybe even privileged, life she had. And it just compounds the sense of loss she already had for her birth parents.

Unlike Joris, who grew up wondering vaguely about his birth family, it seems like much more of a sore spot, with her attachment to her bell...

(Off topic but, god, it's so Bonta-core, that the adoptive daughter of a previous champion of Bonta, who had a museum and was rich, ended up on the streets like a stray. I hate that city so much, it's unreal.)

She uses some pretty dark humor to cope with that. I mean, she already lost two families. No way in hell she's losing a third one. Which kinda harkens back to Kerubim's own backstory, and his own loss of the entire Crepin family, save for Atcham.

I think it's cute that, just like him, — she becomes a mother at some point in her life. Maybe it's because she looked up to Kerubim, who had a similar life story to hers, and that inspired her. Maybe it's just something she wanted, even without thinking of Kerubim's own orphan to dad pipeline.

But either way, it's like poetry — it rhymes.

[sweetbillwriting]

In Another Universe (Love Just Happens)

All Thanks To Her - Part 4

Description: In another universe didn't Bill become an actor and Aurora Lou didn't get her record deal but as soulmates they meet also in this universe but have other struggles.

Setting: This story is set in a parallel universe to my story Love Just Happens about Bill Skarsgård and my original character Aurora Lou.

Characters: Bill and Aurora is the same characters but because they have other experiences are they a bit different from the original story.

Warnings: 18+, age difference, ageism, cheating, jealousy, possessiveness, talk about weight, talk about abuse, talk about assault, sexism, mentions of sex.

Bill went to Aurora in New York after New Years. It was exciting in several ways, mostly to see Aurora but also because he would audition for a role. He had sent an audition tape but now they wanted to meet him. He had sent the video with nervous trembling hands and a beating heart but was prepared for them to decline him. He was inexperienced and had never acted in English. When he then got the call it felt surreal and like he was living someone else's life.

He hadn't told anyone about it but would tell Aurora, she was the one who had made him dare to send the video.

It was also a relief to leave Sweden. His wife was ignorant and irritated, more than usual and Bill felt like he was in the way and unappreciated, the opposite of what he felt when he was with Aurora. He needed to be with his girl again and be able to talk about the good news. All of it was thanks to her.

They laid in bed and talked about it the night he came to her. They had made love slowly, twice, while whispering how much they loved each other. Bill felt sexy, manly and loved in her presence and felt the same after the act. He laid close to her and enjoyed her curves, smell and warmness. She was warm both physically and mentally and if he could he would have crawled inside of her.

“This is amazing, baby. Oh my god… This is so amazing. This can be the start for you!”

Bill laughed and caressed her waist.

“I haven't got it yet but it feels good to be seen. Maybe I actually can do this?”

“Of course you can!” She said and pushed his chest lightly so she could look into his eyes. “It's obvious this is your calling. You should act!”

Bill smirked proudly and laid down on his back so he could look up at the ceiling. Maybe he could become an actor and leave his boring work behind but also be with Aurora for real. Divorce his wife and then live with Aurora. She could move to Sweden and he could help her get a record deal there. It couldn't be so hard?

“Have you ever been close to a record deal?” He asked carefully. It was the wrong timing to ask about her career that didn't go so well when he had just got good news of his own but curiosity took over. She was so talented, loved at the club but still hadn't succeeded to get attention from a label.

“Emm…” Aurora looked around nervously and then laughed a little. Bill looked at her and saw that her eyes were shiny. He was the worst for asking that right then.

“We don't need to talk about it,” he said quickly and put her hair behind her ear. Aurora shook her head and looked at Bill with her tearful eyes.

“I probably need to talk about it…” she wiped away a tear and laid her arms around Bill's neck. He dragged his hand over her arm and looked at her with big eyes.

“I was close… I thought… This guy from a label contacted me and wanted to eat dinner and… I really thought I would get it… Then he said I needed to sleep with him…”

Bill swallowed dryly and just waited on her to continue. He knew how much she wanted to become a singer. Aurora started to cry and covered her face with her hands.

“So I did it…”

Bill got cold and felt a pain start to spread in his chest. He wasn't that experienced with the entertainment business yet but could imagine it happened more often then people would believe. He wasn't even that surprised, men had used women's dreams in all times to get what they wanted. It was just sad because she was so talented and had gotten into that trap when she was so young. What neither Bill or Aurora knew was that in another universe that had been so easy for her to get a record deal. Her father had met the right person to share her music with but in this universe that didn't happen but her dream was just as big.

“Aurora, it's okay, it's okay. He was an asshole. It's understandable you did what you did.”

Aurora looked up at him and smiled sadly. She took a deep breath before continuing.

“Then he said I needed to talk with someone else… He said it was the next step and… That man wanted the same thing…”

She continued to cry and Bill felt his jaw shake. He was close to tears himself.

“He was old and… Like really old and… I didn't want to but it felt like I…” She looked at Bill and dragged her hands through her hair. “Please don't… Please don't judge me, I was 20 and…”

“Hey, you… Of course not. Of course not. They used you. They used you…” Bill dragged her close to his body again.

Aurora hugged him hard but she wasn't done yet.

“Then he said he couldn't work with me because I was way too much of his type and his wife wouldn't like it…” she laughed bitterly at the irony.

Bill felt a knot start to grow in his stomach. His wife.

“I've met so many assholes… Every guy has been an asshole… But then I met you…” she smiled through the tears and Bill and took a hold of his face. “Then I met you…”

So many men had hurt her. Cheating, lying and using her for sex. She had been groped at the club, diminished in her work and assaulted by men in power. The only man she trusted was her father but now also Bill.

Bill smiled unsurely with tears in his eyes. The bad consciousness pushed against his ribcage. Aurora thought it was just because of her story and of empathy but it wasn't why a tear ran down his cheek. Aurora kissed him softly, warm into her soul that he didn't judge her.

Bill kissed back and tried to see himself as that good guy she thought he was.

Her dream man.

Aurora hugged him around his neck and Bill dragged his hands over her naked hips. His tears started to fall against her shoulder and it made Aurora release him a bit to look at his face. She wasn't prepared for him being that emotional. She was about to say she was okay now, that he didn't need to worry but he managed to talk before her.

“I'm an asshole too…” he said with a wobbly voice. He couldn't look at her. He couldn't look at her perfect face and kind eyes.

“No you're not. You're the best…” she said with a smile.

“No, really. I am an asshole.” Aurora looked at him confused. “I'm married. I'm still married with the mother of my children and I live a family life with her in Sweden.”

Aurora looked at him in silence. She didn't understand what he was saying. This was Bill. The perfect man.

Bill looked up at her when she didn't say anything. Aurora looked confused. She sat up in the bed, still naked after their love making. He loved seeing her skin, her breasts but at that moment he couldn't look at her. Especially not that way.

It was Bill. It was Bill. Aurora didn't want to understand but slowly it sank in even if she didn't want it to become a truth.

“I'm your mistress…” she whispered. “You've come to me with lies and…” She broke down. She cried and leaned forward into the cover. “You have fucking lied about everything!”

Bill sat up with the tears streaming.

“No, no… I love you Lou. I love you..”

She looked at him with red eyes and wet cheeks but she didn't look sad anymore, she looked mad.

“You don't do this to the one you love. You don't lie, you don't cheat, you don't use them as a fucking cumrag!”

Bill swallowed hard because he didn't feel anything if what she said was true. He loved her.

“No… No… I wouldn't…” He stuttered. “I haven't done anything with my wife in a year. I didn't cheat, against you. And I love you baby, Lou…” he tried to touch her face but she pulled away.

“It's time for you to go,” she spit out and turned her face away from him. He felt it was the utter rejection but she did it to cover the new flood of tears that streamed down her cheeks.

“Aurora…” he whined and moved closer to her.

“It's time for you to go! She said more forcefully. Bill looked at her back. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to force her to listen but also knew he was in the wrong. He had lied and deceived her. He stood up and started to dress. He looked at her back the whole time, hoping she would turn around and forgive him even if he understood he wasn't worth it. He was an asshole, just like the men at the record label. He had used her.

“I love you… Most in this fucking world. I love you…” he said lowly before leaving. Aurora didn't turn around. All her energy was used to keep herself in control. She pushed her eyes together and tried to think about other things while hearing Bill taking his stuff. He left in silence. He wasn't the loud type and he even closed the door silently.

It was silent in Aurora's apartment until all the emotions pushed out from the restraint and made her scream.

This was the end.

×××

He got a role. He actually got it. It was unbelievable. The only experience he had from acting was from roles in his teens but now he had got a role in an indie thriller. It was a small role as a guide on an industry but it was a role in an American movie. He had auditioned for a bigger role but got this instead and it was a good first role. His character had a name, and was in several scenes. He would act again.

It was all thanks to Aurora. The most amazing woman. He had lost her three weeks ago and hadn't heard anything from her and didn't succeed in contacting her. He could have gone home to her or visit one of her jobs but it didn't feel right, especially when he was still married and had continued to hold up the charade. He should have gone home and given his wife divorce papers but then her father was in an accident and their two youngest daughters got chicken pox. He hadn't time to think about a divorce, especially not when Aurora didn't show any sign of wanting to be with him.

That he had succeeded to fly to L.A to the audition was a wonder. He had cried all night but had mustered up and went to L.A. It was probably one of his stronger sides, that he could pull himself together even in the hardest situations and focus on what he should do. He believed after the audition he had sucked but obviously not so hard as the others who auditioned. Maybe he even was good.

He wanted to tell Aurora. He wanted to thank her for giving him confidence, hope and power. For loving him when he needed it the most. If he couldn't get her he could at least just get the chance to say that.

He thought about calling Gustaf and telling him, or one of his oldest friends. Maybe tell his dad but nothing of it felt important. It was Aurora he wanted to talk to. He sat by himself in his office at Stockholm’s university and looked at the mail with information about the filming. He was so happy to have got this chance but to not have her to share it with almost took the joy out of it completely. He opened Snapchat but it was obvious she had blocked him. He had tried to call her but hadn't got an answer any of the times.

He should have just divorced his wife after he met Aurora. He had fallen in love with her the same day he met her, that was enough to divorce his wife but instead he had stayed with her because it was more comfortable. He was an idiot.

He pushed the name Isaac in his phone book when he started to write a new text. It was Aurora's number, concealed behind her last name. Everything to keep her a secret.

Hey. I hope you're okay. I'm really sorry for what I did and wished with all of my heart I had handled it differently. I really love you and want to be with you.

I just wanted you to know that I got the part in the movie. It's thanks to you that I dared to audition, just you.

Thank you. I love you, Lou.

/Bill

×××

Aurora read the text but deleted it at once. Even if she loved him so much, wanted him close and had him as a boyfriend she couldn't forgive him. This was the worst thing someone had ever done to her. She had met many bad men but none of them she had such high thoughts about as Bill. She had given her heart to him. She had let him into her life. She couldn't forgive him for lying but also making her to something so dirty as a mistress.

She couldn't forgive him but she kept the pictures and his number. Maybe one day she could.

Aurora wasn't the only one who read the text. Bill's wife had kicked him out from the bedroom because he snored, she said, and obediently he laid on the couch even if he was way too long to lay comfortable in it but he had gotten used to his wife’s weird behavior, she had acted ignorant towards him for several years so that it got worse didn't make him even lift a eyebrow.

While he laid silently and slept on the couch his wife came out and took his phone that was laying on the coffee table. She moved away with it, out to the hallway so the light of the screen wouldn't wake him then she looked through everything, like she did a few times a month. Pictures, mail, texts, Snapchat, other social media. The pictures of the young girl was still there even if she had got the feeling that he had broken up with her. He had seemed lost and depressed for a while but it didn't affect her, not when she knew what he did in New York. Then she saw the mail with the information about the filming. Her heart started to beat hard in her chest. He had gotten a role. In the USA. He would finally become an actor like his brothers. She didn't know how to react to it. She wanted to wake him up and celebrate it. The exciting feelings made her almost forget to continue to look through his phone but as a reflex she pushed the envelope symbol. His first conversation was with an Isaac and she guessed it was an American colleague so she continued to scroll. It wasn't until she scrolled up again that she opened it just out of curiosity.

Please Answer Lou

I'm really sorry babe. Please just answer.

I love you.

I love you so fucking much please just answer.

Please baby Lou

I want to be with you. I’ll do whatever you want.

Hey. I hope you're okay. I'm really sorry for what I did and wished with all of my heart I had handled it differently. I really love you and want to be with you.

I just wanted you to know that I got the part in the movie. It's thanks to you I dared to audition, just you.

Thank you. I love you, Lou.

/Bill

Bill's wife swallowed dryly and looked at the conversation. She had been really close to losing her husband. He had fucked around with a twenty year old girl and fallen in love with her. It was she that had made him audition. Bill's wife looked out at him, sleeping with his bare feet outside of the couch. He had been boring, safe and uninspiring the last few years. He had been nothing like his acting brothers but she had noticed how he had changed in the last few months. It was probably because of the young girl but that was over now.

She still had her husband. Bill Skarsgård, beautiful Bill Skarsgård. They would make this work. This was nothing that needed to come up again. That little American would soon be forgotten.

×××

19 months later…

Bill looked around at the people around the U shaped table arrangement. He was tired, really tired but also nervous. It had happened so quickly. He got a leading role in a Netflix series. He had resigned his work at the university and was now an actor full time. His wife had been really supportive and let him work quite a lot so he had done several roles and now he finally had a leading role. People would get to know Bill Skarsgård.

The series was about a man who had been kidnapped when he was a kid and then been locked up until he was a grown up, forty years old to be exact. Because of no real human interactions his mentality hadn’t developed with his body and when he comes out he must learn to be a man and also handle emotions that belonged more to a teen.

It was a great role and the show runners loved his looks that were both manly and boyish but also scary. He could be small and nervous but also explosive. He was perfect. Now he was at the first table reading and had a spot in the middle of the U instead of the seats on corners, like he had had before. He had noticed some reaction to his name, even asked him if he was related with Stellan and Alex and he just gave them a short answer. He didn't want to become a nepotism actor at once. Especially not with colleagues.

He looked through the updated script. He didn't react to any changes so they were either small or irrelevant for him. He thought to himself he would do it better that night at the hotel. They were in the state of New York, but not far from the city. He had chosen to live at a hotel there even if it would take some time to commute. It was just easier finding good hotels there. Bill put up the first page of the script and took his pen when the showrunners and one of the producers entered the middle of the U.

“Wow! We're finally here!” Said one of the producers loudly and clapped his hands so all other people did the same.

“We're so excited for this project! This will be great, guys.” He clasped his hands and nodded with a big smile. He introduced the show runners and the rest of the producers, directors and the script writers. Bill followed the information but the guy's excitement was a bit too much for him. It was 9 AM, couldn't they take it a bit chill? He had been flying all night.

“We have so many interesting actors here! We love all of you and trust you.” The guy looked at everyone with warm smiles.

“Bill!” He looked up at the producer with a smile. “Our star! The man who will embody our lead, Jack!”

To his surprise he got an applaud and he smiled awkwardly. He hadn't gotten used to the attention that came with being an actor and wondered if he ever would get used to it. Even more awkward it felt when no other actor got an applause, even if many of them were more famous faces than himself. Was it because of his last name? He tried to shake away that thought but it was already rooted in him.

He looked through the script carefully while the show runners started to talk about the vibe and starting for the series. He listened but reacted when some actors were missing. He looked through the list of the cast. It was quite long but her name jumped out at him, like it stood in 3D while the others were flat and pale. At the same time he read “Aurora Lou Isaac” the show runner started to talk about the missing cast.

“Tucker Green, Lydia Wallice, Diego Moreno and Aurora Lou will come later.”

Bill looked at the show runner with a beating heart and dragged his hand over his jaw. What were the odds? They hadn't seen each other for so long.

They said her name without last name. Like Adele or Zlatan. She had her artist name and people seemed to accept it like it was natural. All other actors around the table were called with their full name.

He looked at the cast list again. She would play Poppy. Of course. Of course. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

“I'm sorry I really just need to get some air.” He interrupted the show runner abruptly and stood up. The air in his lungs started to run out. The show runners looked at him confused. Several of the cast looked at him worriedly.

“Yeah I can see that… Are you okay?” Said the showrunner with worry. It was worrying when the lead started to show signs of disease. What Bill didn't know was that he was pale as a sheet and he had started to look clammy.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said fast before he walked out with long steps.

He sat down in the stairs a bit away from the building, leading to a park. He breathed deeply. She would play Poppy. Okay. Yeah it seemed right. She was the right type but he didn't even know she was interested in acting. Was this a prank? A mean, evil prank.

Poppy was the young woman that would make him understand his sexuality. They didn't have any intimate scenes, she was just there as the girl opening a door. The character was just nineteen and would make him understand he was an adult, too old for her and with other rules than the boys surrounding her. He would play horny and in love while he couldn't get her because he was too old. It was fitting. He wouldn't even get to kiss her. In the middle of his panic he also felt disappointed he wouldn't get to kiss her on screen.

He tried to accept the new information and become calm in having her so close again. It would be his chance to say sorry again and thank her for everything she did for him. He walked back to the conference room where they were sitting. He couldn't be away too long, that wouldn't look good. He put all his focus on looking like he had gotten more energy from his time outside but people didn't even seem to react to him coming back.

“And here we have her! Aurora Lou! We've missed you!” Said producer and looked just behind him. Bill realized he must have smacked the door in her face. He turned around but turned forward just as quickly again. He didn't even see if it was her, just that it was a short girl with dark hair. With long strides he went back to his chair, doing everything to not look at her.

“Our Poppy!” Said the producer and clapped his hands. Her applaud was more unsure than the one he got but she still got one.

“Hey,” she said sweetly but Bill didn't raise his head. He looked down at a color change in his jeans and inspected it like it was more important than the series.

“We expected you to come after lunch,” said the producer just as brightly while some sort of commotion happened on Bill's left side. He heard they made space for her and by her giggle he could understand they did everything for her. Everyone served her like she was the princess in the room. He knew she also was, no one in there was as beautiful and sweet as her and he could just imagine her wearing pink while he and everyone else was dressed in sober colors.

“So poppy… Dan is your dad…”

“Hey dad,” she joked and several people laughed.

“Then, Miles, is playing your boyfriend Thomas… And not to forget our lead, Bill as Jack.”

Bill was forced to look up now. Everyone else would have thought he was such a douchebag if he didn't. He looked towards the producer's voice and saw Aurora sit as number three in the U. He made a shaky exhalation and gave her a small smile. She was so beautiful. She must have become even more gorgeous than the last time he saw her because she looked surreal with her big Bambi eyes and full lips. The sun from the window hit her glossy lips but also made her skin glow and her long dark hair to shine. She was like a June day in November in that conference room.

She gave him a quick smile but then looked away. He hadn't expected anything else and hadn't believed he wanted anything else either but when he sat there and saw her look at everything except him he felt just as bad as the last night almost two years ago. He just wanted her to look at him.

They started to get through the script, even if he was the lead he didn't have so many lines in the first episodes because the man was traumatized so he didn't need to say so much. He put his focus on listening to the others, thinking about what he wanted to give in the scenes. He was good at keeping focus on the important things but this was much harder than it used to be. He couldn't stop himself from looking at her. He couldn't really see what she was wearing but he could see her bare legs under the table and her delicate strappy heels. Her pedicured toes. He could hear her giggle sometimes and looked up. She sat with the guy who would play her boyfriend Thomas, Miles. A good looking man in her own age. When everyone laughed together about something he took the moment in his laugh to look at her. She just looked at the young man. Miles seemed to look at her lips. Bill smiled sadly to himself. It was a finished chapter. He spinned his wedding rings around his finger and looked down at the script again. He was happily married. They had it better than ever. Aurora looked happy too. They could make this work.

“Jack and Poppy's first meeting now! I love this scene!” Said the producer and made several laugh. Aurora giggled a little too and Bill gave the guy a little smirk then he looked at Aurora. She had laid her hair over her shoulders so she showed off a pink corset top. He could see her collar bones he had kissed and licked, he could see her neck he always pushed in his nose to breathe in her scent and her cleavage that teased out her breasts he had let drown in his palms.

“Bill?” Said the producer and smirked at him. He probably thought Bill just was a bit inappropriate and looked at the young woman with a bit too big of an interest. Bill looked down in the script and started to read. She answered him in her valley accent and he couldn't stop himself from being a bit amused. They had suddenly written in the script that Poppy was from Los Angeles. It hadn't been there before.

The meeting with Jack and Poppy was simple, sweet. He would come walking to visit her father that had taken an interest in him. Poppy stood out in the garden, collecting apples from the tree, the hem her top held up like a pocket. He would see the skin of her stomach and get all blushy but couldn't understand why. It was just a dialogue of three phrases each but they said a lot.

“Dr. Roberts?” He asked.

“Hm? Are you the boy?” She asked in return.

“The boy?”

“I mean the man. I can see you're not a boy.” She giggled. He laughed unsurely.

“You're a woman, his wife?”

“No, god no. I am his daughter. But I guess I am a woman, sort of.”

Bill looked up at Aurora when they had finished their scene and her father would interrupt them. He met her eyes, they were friendly even if he lost eye contact at once.

It wasn't really they who had spoken to each other, it was Jack and Poppy but Bill felt the warmth inside of his own stomach, especially of her giggle. He wanted to say he was just in character, that he felt Jack's feelings so well but it wasn't it. It was his own feelings, the same old feelings he had had for Aurora earlier. They felt new and shiny even if it was just like then. It took over him slowly. He looked at her discreetly while the reading continued, even when he read himself. She was the only woman he wanted. He didn't care how much he needed to fight, he couldn't and he didn't want to stop. This was his chance to be close to her but also get her back.

×××

Maybe it was a bit too optimistic to believe she would forgive him. He sat with some of the cast and the show runners and talked after lunch. They sat outside of the conference room eating a cake and drinking coffee. Aurora was there too but sat by one of the large windows. He could hear her giggle that gave him goosebumps. She talked with Miles, her character’s boyfriend. It was he that made her giggle, he who made her smile. Bill tried to not look at them but they sat in a perfect angle, behind one of the show runners that talked the most. She was dressed in a short skirt that matched the corset. Her looks and outfit made several look at her but the men seemed to be too respectful to look at her for a longer time, it was why it was even more important for him to not look. He was nothing but professional, he had heard it so many times but Aurora would probably destroy that reputation because he realized himself he looked at her a bit too intensely from time to time. He looked away when he saw her drag her hand over Miles underarm. Her nails were long as they had been when they were together but hair seemed shorter and maybe she even was a bit thinner.

“Bill?” Said one of the showrunners, a man in his own age.

“Mm?” He turned to him, pretended like he hadn't looked at Aurora.

“Can I talk to you?”

They walked out of the space they were in, to another one, outside of another conference room.

“You must stop looking at her,” the man said seriously to him. For a second he dropped the mask but put it on again. He looked confused at the showrunner.

“Who?”

He gave Bill a pointed smirk. Anyone would know who he meant, not just because Bill had looked at her but also because there weren't any other females in the room you would stare at.

“I get it. Sure, I get it but it doesn't look good and she will get uncomfortable and then you have real, real problems…”

Bill looked around nervously. He didn't want to seem like a creepy guy. It was far from who he was.

“Emm… I kinda know her? Or I did…” he hoped that was enough information without him understanding what kinda history they had but the showrunner was either much more observant than he thought or he had given too much information.

“Oh, you had a thing with her? I thought you were married,” said he and looked down at Bill's hand as a reflex, where the gold bands sat uncomfortably around Bill's finger. Bill dragged his hands over his face in panic.

“Oh fuck…” he said and then laughed nervously. “Fuck… I had an affair with her two years ago or so. It ended… messily.”

“As an affair usually is. Does your wife know?”

Bill licked his lips, he seemed like the worst guy and he guessed he was. He shook his head.

“But Bill, I will not make this a thing but will you? Can you handle this?”

The showrunner looked at him with big eyes and crossed his arms.

“Of course. Of course,” he said quickly. He couldn't lose this role, this would be his chance. “I just need to talk to her…”

Both the men nodded a bit with crossed arms. When Bill thought it was time to go back, the showrunner continued.

“I guess your dynamic can get interesting in the series. But don't do anything stupid, Bill. It's you we must fire if something doesn't go well.”

Bill swallowed hard. His whole career depended on the women whose heart he had broken.

×

[sapphicforsarahh]

Hello!!!

Request here

Young Loubbie is afraid to come out to Tammy, and when they do she says she already knew

Ofc!!

Thank you for the request also!

Coming Out

Ship: Lou Miller x Debbie Ocean

Word count: 530+

Warnings: None

“What if she doesn’t accept us,” Debbie sighed, lying back against the couch with her hands on her head. “Honey, if shes okay knowing criminals, I’m pretty sure that she’ll be okay with knowing a few gay people too. Plus, you know Tam, she’d be ecstatic that we’ve told her,” Lou tries to reassure her, sitting down next to her and holding her hand. “Okay maybe,” Debbie doesn’t seem convinced. “I’m nervous too Debs, but all we have to do is try to keep calm about it, stress isn’t going to make anything better,” Lou kisses her head before standing up to make a drink.

“Where the hell is she, I told her to be here 15 minutes ago,” Debbie huffed, getting restless. “I’m sure that she’s just stuck in traf-,” Lou is cut off by the door opening and Tammy standing in it. “I’m so sorry! The traffic was horrendous,” Tammy’s announced. Lou looked at Debbie and mouthed, “I told you”.

“Hey Tam!” Lou says back. “Want a drink?” Lou goes to grab another glass out the cupboard. “Not for me, but thanks Lou,” Tammy sits down, next to Debbie. She can see shes quieter than usual. “You okay?” She asks, making sure Lou doesn’t hear. “Yeah great,” she says unconvincingly. “Hmm okay,” she lets it go and gives Debbie a quick side hug. Lou sits down with her drink and places it down. “So, Debs and I invited you over to talk about something,” Lou begins. “You’re not planning another heist are you,” Tammy sighs, beginning to stress already. “God no, I’ve barely started planning,” Debbie smirks and lets Lou continue.

“So we’ve been worried to tell you this, because we don’t know your reaction, but Debbie and I, we’re together,” Lou finally tells Tammy. “Oh guys thats great! I did already know though,” she smiles at both of them. A “what?” comes out of both of them before looking at eachother confused. “Well, you haven’t really been secret about it. Me and Amita have conspired as to what’s going on between you two.”

“How did you know,” Lou asks, genuinely curious as to how she knew. “Seriously? The lingering touches, cute smiles at eachother, cuddling ALL the time, and the eyes,” Tammy finishes. “What ‘eyes’?” Debbie asked, confused. “You know, THE eyes,” Tammy tries to explain. Debbie shakes her head still not knowing, Lou is sitting back and watching the whole thing happen. “The.. bedroom eyes,” she says in quietly, as if embarrassed. “Oh, that makes sense,” Lou adds, saving Tammy. “Yeah it’s you usually giving them,” Tammy adds. “Wha- I do nothing Tam,” Lou gets defensive, knowing Tammy’s right. Tammy laughs and gets up, “I’m quickly going to the bathroom, don’t be banging whilst I’m gone.” “I’ll try,” Debbie inputs.

“Baby, come over here,” Debbie suggests, tapping the spot next to her. Lou quickly moves over and falls into a cuddle with her. “Are you glad we told her?” Lou asked. “Very, even though she already knew,” Debbie laughed. “I don’t know what ‘eyes’ shes even talking about,” Lou acts innocent. “I think you know fine well Lou Miller,” Debbie kisses the top of Lou’s head and smiles.

—————

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[utilitycaster]

I believe you mentioned seeing Love Lies Bleeding - would love to hear your thoughts on it if you have any (and good luck with the car troubles).

It's GREAT. Everyone who is not averse to grievous bodily harm shown on screen go see it. I am not like...terribly up on film just generally; I grew up in a house that limited TV screentime with parents who hate movie theaters so there is a weird cross section of movies I know that is immensely idiosyncratic since I just don't really have a movie-going habit. Also since getting into CR in 2018 it's like. well I don't really have two hours to kill watching movies; I watch 4+ hours of stuff a week and that's plenty. So I cannot speak to things like cinematography, though it did feel well-put together and attractive to look at and all that.

I think the story is solid - nothing groundbreaking except for the fact that usually this is not a story told about queer women that (spoilers) ends with them free and together (more on this later) but it's well done as a neo-noir, the acting is fantastic, and it feels so wonderfully...big and small at the same time? Like, do not get me wrong, I enjoy a blockbuster, but when I think back to the movies I've liked as of late*, Honor Among Thieves is the only one that takes place over a sprawling journey. I guess Barbie, debatably. Like, Love Lies Bleeding is almost entirely in a small town in New Mexico with a brief portion in Vegas or in the immediate surroundings. We are not jetsetting or using green screens. The majority of the film is in a handful of places, the core cast is like 6 people with two significant supporting players. I love this. As someone who leans more towards longer form fiction in general it's just really nice to have something that says "we have under two hours and we are going to embrace having under two hours and tell a story that fucking FITS in under two hours instead of just giving you some weird shard of a Cinematic Universe."

Re the queer women: thank GOD for casting queer women as queer women and probably more importantly having queer women doing things like writing and directing. The sex scenes are great and the relationship feels...I can't say I have the experience of being one of the only queer women in a small town in the late 80s and low-key detesting the one other woman but this all feels so much like. Of course Lou responds like this! This is the first new and fortuitous thing that has happened in her life! U-Haul jokes aside like yeah this is her big chance! It's both their big chances! And honestly until pretty late in the film, because I went in with little info other than "Kristen Stewart and Katy O'Brien bodybuilder lesbian romance crime drama" I expected it to end with one of them dead and the thing is the story works either way, and that feels really great to me, a tragedy enjoyer but also a comedy enjoyer.

Also I love pitch-black humor and this absolutely has that, and I enjoy magical realism when done very sparingly and this is precisely the right amount (if you assume it's magical realism, which I do; I also enjoy ambiguity). Anyway go see a fucked up lesbian and her fucked up bi girlfriend get entangled by ambition, righteous anger, vengeance, limited opportunity, and Ed Harris's skullet and bug obsession.

Finally, a personal anecdote: I saw this at the Alamo Drafthouse and as you may know they do various event screenings. They are showing Twilight: Eclipse for the total solar eclipse. It is HILARIOUS to see a trailer for Twilight: Eclipse (ft. young Kristen Stewart as personality-less girl in love triangle with two guys) before Love Lies Bleeding. talk about a glow-up. Absolutely wild to me that Stewart and Pattinson both ended up as genuinely talented actors with a taste for the unhinged given their breakthrough was Twilight.