#but giving credit is truly the bare minimum

[petit-papillion]

Giving credit to original posters, creators, artists, photographers, and sources matters.

It matters to the person who put in the time and effort to create the content. Whether it's finding that photo and editing it to make it stand out. Or downloading that video, editing it, coloring it, turning it into a gif, adding subtitles, etc. Regardless of what you do (job/student), I'm sure you too would not like it if someone else takes credit for your work.

It matters to people who want to know context. Was it said by a fan, your favourite's bestie, a reputable journalist? Published by a tabloid or the New York Times? From last week or last year? Is it an original, or did someone get photoshopped in for a meme?

It matters to people who may want to explore more content of that particular publication, so they will continue to publish top-notch articles. Or give kudos to a budding artist for their outstanding art work, potentially encouraging them to create more. Or compliment that photographer on capturing their fave in just the right light.

It matters, because even though it may take you an extra minute or so to add on that name or link, it is the right thing to do.

[anonymouspuzzler]

Haha Whoops Uh Oh! (UPDATED 6/11/23)

so this isn't the type of post I normally like to make, but! uh! hey! I just got ambushed by a HUGE tuition bill I wasn't expecting, and I'm out of options to pay it - they've already applied my scholarship and loans, I'm already working multiple jobs that are basically just barely paying for rent + groceries, and I only have enough on my credit card to pay for One of the three payments they're requiring, which only gets me through till July (with, again, no options that get me that amount of money by that time).

further full disclosure, this bill came at like, the worst possible time - they've given me four days to make at minimum the first payment (which, again, I can only do by maxing out my credit card), and on top of juggling multiple jobs I'm also in the middle of two classes, including one which involves upcoming travel (that is already paid for, thank god). Hence, me Scrambling a li'l bit!!

as such, I've set a new goal on my ko-fi!! it is, of course, HUGE, but genuinely any small amount people are able to contribute goes a huge way to giving me SOME way to pay it off. note that 3-coffee doodle requests are still A Thing, commissions are still a thing (if you have one active I'll be getting to them this & next week), and I'll be streaming wherever I can to pull together money that way - wherever it comes, any support is HUGE and I mean that.

UPDATE 6/11/23: I am updating the original post to remove the ko-fi link and yet you fine folks know: HOLY HECK, y'all managed to get my tuition dealt with. words truly cannot express my gratitude for that - I'm so, so, SO humbled and thankful for everyone who came out to get me out of a really rough situation.

in the slightest, smallest attempt to pay forward the kindness i've been shown, I'm gonna try and use this moment to direct y'alls attention to some other folks I know who could use some kindness! hardly comprehensive, in no particular order, just top-of-my-mind type type beat. (note that these are all folks' twitter handles - some of 'em are on tumblr too, but I figure best to direct you to where I know they are 100%!)

@/Pochiyaki is a friend & artist who's been trying to get out of a bad money situation a while, and could definitely use some love!

@/rudeboimonster is similarly a dear friend who's been struggling to find long-term work and housing, anything you got would help.

Or, considering supporting the work of a creative you love! A few I've been loving lately that I'd recommend:

@/cosmignon (Runaway Draikana webcoming, and other comics and illustration work)

@/SynthCharmVA (voicework & writing/show development)

@/Tonya_Song (music - including vocals, piano and composition - plus education and activism work)

@/jaypg_art (character design, visdev, and illustration)

@/littlegoodfrog (Matchmaker and other comics)

@/winonaparadise (Girls With Horns and other comics/illustration work)

@/derekmballard (comics, including the upcoming Cartoonshow graphic novel)

@/_PartyCoffin_ (Welcome Home, and just about every art form you can conceive of)

and of course, if you're not following & supporting my amazing partner @/hollowtones, who helped me through this tough situation in every possible way - well you ought to be!! a delight and talent in every imaginable way, and I'm only a little biased on that.

and above all else... THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!

[ilikekidsshows]

Marinette is praised for alot of unwarranted things, but to this day the thing that takes the cake for me is people praising Marinette into the heavens for giving Adrien his rings back after Gabriel's death

People act like that's Marinette acting on god-like benevolence and the purest heart ever, when, like, what is she even being praised for?

For not withholding Adrien's literal control remote from him? Not wearing it herself and right away enslaving him?

Praising Marinette into the heavens for giving the rings back implies that people think that it would have been fine if Marinette had cried over this "hard decision" for the next season. And that's just pathetic at this point.

Not to mention that she objectively did nothing in the final battle to save Adrien. It was Gabriel who used the wish for Adrien's good, Marinette instead said he has to face whatever consequences as orphan now that's coming his way. So Gabriel helped Adrien, Marinette was willing to have him pay every price cuz it aint her.

Then Marinette being so uninterested in the plot lead to Bug Noire almost killing Adrien because she didn't know that she would have destroyed Adrien's amok rings alongside the Miraculous rings on Gabriel's hand. So once again, Gabriel had to save Adrien from Marinette by keeping her from using Cataclysm.

Marinette also isn't the one to take the amok rings away from Gabriel before he dies. Gabriel himself had to give Adrien free and prevent that his amoks will vanish with him.

What the hell is Marinette being praised for in the s5 finale for being Adrien's White Knight? She didn't save him in anyway. She almost killed him, she was willing to sign him up to entirely for his family's sins as orphan because "it's the right thing to do", and she didn't take Adrien's ring from Gabriel

Gabriel did all the saving and protecting, Marinette is just as always taking all the credit.

So what's Marinette being glorified for? For not instantly enslaving her abused and now orphaned boyfriend? Cause that's all the saving of Adrien Marinette did in the end, I guess: saving him from her herself enslaving him for no fucking reason

And is that REALLY something Marinette needs to be praised and made out into a saint for? Cause that's beyond pathetic, even downside offensive at this point

---

At this point, I think the show could show Marinette successfully wiping her ass and the stans would praise her for how talented she is. Everything Marinette does has to be the most amazing show of skill or the most kindhearted thing anyone has ever done in the stans’ eyes because the pedestal they’ve built for Marinette has grown so insanely tall. At this point, there’s nothing she could do that would break that illusion of perfection, I think. Even if she had kept those rings, the stans would have defended her noble decision to keep Adrien safe from people who’d take advantage of him, like Marinette herself hasn’t been taking advantage of him for free therapy for as long as they’ve been dating, no remote controls needed.

And that’s the thing with Marinette not keeping Adrien’s remote control; she doesn’t need it for Adrien to do whatever she wants. Adrien is so dependent on her that his life’s goal is just to be with her. Marinette knows Adrien is completely devoted to her, it's why she was so willing to send Zoé to confess her love to Adrien, because she knew Adrien would refuse Zoé and stay with her instead. Marinette gave up nothing when she gave those rings to Adrien, her control over him is still absolute.

Meanwhile, the fandom is celebrating and romanticizing this shit. I have seen more than one person consider Marinette giving those rings to Adrien to be like a proposal/promise ring situation, where Marinette doing the bare minimum of giving the sapient mind control robot servant his remote control is treated as an ultimate gesture of love. Because truly Marinette must love Adrien if, instead of ordering him to please every single one of her whims and needs, she grants him the magnificent honor of choosing to do so instead, while already knowing he will. How loving, how caring, how selfless.

Please ignore the reality that this entire setup relies on Marinette keeping guard over Adrien and his amoks indefinitely, because Adrien lacks the knowledge to do so himself. Please ignore the reality that, if Adrien, Marinette or both ever fell out of love and ended the relationship, Adrien would be left incredibly vulnerable because he doesn’t know about the rings being amoks. Marinette is counting on Adrien staying with her for the rest of his life, because she’s taken conservatorship over him and his free will. She has made it her job to be her boyfriend’s keeper.

[thespectrehauntingfodlan]

I feel like a lot of people, and this is really more for Usamericans than those from other countries who don't have any exposure to the internal affairs of this particular nightmare country, truly do not grasp the scale and significance of the problems and horrors here?

Literacy will be mentioned and downplayed, but a full 20% of people living here are illiterate to a degree where they cannot interact with even basic writing. That's one in five people, or almost the population of the entirety of the United Kingdom. And that's only the population that either cannot read any words at all or cannot parse sentences, an equally large amount of people can only read at a very basic level, and can't interpret and extrapolate information from text that's not direct. This is not some cry about media literacy, this is about basic functioning in society and how many are left behind from a society that increasingly isolates and diminishes them.

Manufacturing will be mentioned, and the thought most will have is that American production has been gutted and outsourced (usually leading to hostility to places like China or Vietnam), which has some truth but much of American industry has been transfered from "free" workers to prison slave labor, with some states not paying prisoners forced to work at all and the most ""generous"" states paying them a seventh of the already laughable federal minimum wage, and with the government actually subsidizing this by giving corporations a $2400 tax credit per prisoner they "employ"

Prison will be mentioned but the sheer inhumanity and brutality will never be grasped even when people recognize elements of it (usually for what passes as comedy) the totality of it will never register. One out of five of all people incarcerated on Earth are in prison in America, subjected to conditions which regularly and frequently kill them or break them, and there's not even a consistent reporting measure for people who die in prison or jail, to say nothing of the police killings which dwarf the amount of people executed by the state, which has even less of a standard for reporting. One county was simply burying the people they killed in unmarked graves nearby and never reporting it or recording it, only being discovered after years almost on accident.

Homelessness is rampant but the numbers and methods for assessing the size of the unhomed population are pitiful at best and laughable at worst, regularly undercounting and diminishing the severity because those who are homeless are barely considered people to not just the government but in the perception imposed by society.

And none of that is touching on the scale of the imperial war machine which ravages the rest of the world, how there's no way to even know how many bases the US even has, how many people it kills, how many wars it fights, who it even supports. None of us touching on the non-military methods of support and control the US provides to its proxies and cronies who prop up its hegemony.

The scale of it all is just mind breaking and I have seen excellent writing and interrogation of parts but I don't feel like the overall picture is ever even glimpsed.

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 2

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: descriptions of past toxic relationship/cheating; consumption of alcohol; anxiety; mentions of sex/sexual situations; Jake being an asshole; Reader takes an extra Melatonin (doctor's advice)

Chapter Word Count: 8.1k

Covet Masterlist

a/n: wooohooo! we have come to chapter 2! 

please forgive me for how long this took to be posted. i am a school teacher, and the end of year is the most hectic. 🫠 so, busyness combined with my need to make sure i personally feel good enough with a chapter to post it. . . it’s not a good combo. lmao although, summer is right around the corner! and i promise when it comes, covet will get much more of my attention!! 

reminder that this is a ~slow burn~ in its truest form. 

i <3 and appreciate you all!! i truly can’t say thank you enough for the support and kind words (it means so much, esp w/ this being my first gvf fic). i love hearing feedback from each and every one of you!! 

alright, i will be done w/ my rambling. i apologize on behalf of myself. lol

hope you enjoy, my loves. 

Disclaimer: this is absolutely, undoubtedly 110% a work of fiction. i do not claim to know greta van fleet. i do not claim that any of this actually occurred. again, this is a complete work of fiction. And, please, DO NOT steal this work, as it is 110% mine. plagiarism isillegal. and, as our friend google puts it, plagiarism is “illegal if it infringes an author's intellectual property rights.” and, being these words/ideas are my intellectual property rights. . .don’t take them. legal action will be taken if you take credit for any of my work.

-🌼🌼🌼 -

Chapter 2

The first month of living with Jake went about as smoothly as one would expect. 

His first full day in the apartment, you’d woken up, ready to be nice. Really. You’d tried your hardest to forget about how he’d acted when he had made his grand entrance. 

But he wasn’t giving up on his act. 

When you’d been standing at the coffee maker in the kitchen that first morning, loading your K-Cup, he’d stopped at the counter. You didn’t know what for, but when you noticed him there, you had tried to start a conversation. Some meaningless small talk to try and break the ice he’d created. 

And his only response? A barely audible hum. 

You did give him credit for glancing up to at least acknowledge your presence. Although, that’s the bare minimum of basic human decency. So, you didn’t give him much credit. 

But, that had been it. And then, he’d left for the day. 

It had instantly caused you to be pissed at everything. Including the coffee maker’s little unnecessary spurts as it poured coffee into your mug. 

Every day since then had gone about the same, sometimes with even less interaction than that. And to you, the lack of desire to even try to associate with you was offensive. 

After all, you were the person who had literally given him a place to live.

To make things worse, he was that kind of asshole that you couldn’t seem to get out of your head. It really just confirmed how truly repulsive he was.

You had gotten an idea midway through that first month to begin compiling a list of apartment rules. 

Initially, it had seemed pointless. Then, you reminded yourself that you were worth better treatment. You knew you deserved for Jake to show at least a sliver of respect towards you in your home.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You decided to tell Josh of the rules you’d crafted. 

“I will be very honest, I really don’t know how well those will go over, Y/N.”

He was giving you a look that instantly made you go into defense mode. 

“Joshua. It’s been a month,” you matched his look with one of your own. You wanted your point to be known. You were going to make damn sure that Josh understood why you wanted to do this. “Josh, he still barely even looks at me. I think rules would give us some sort of common ground. And it would force him to show the place—and me—some respect.”

“Jake has never been one to want to follow the rules — do what he’s told,” he scratched the buzzed side of his head, right above his ear. 

You stood with a hand on your waist, right under your thrifted crop top. You eyed him, making sure he knew he needed to elaborate. 

You didn’t know much at all about your roommate. 

You’d been waiting for Josh to share more, but he didn’t share much. He claimed that it wasn’t his place. You were desperate though. All you knew about Jake was that he was your best friend’s twin, what his record choices were, that he had been in an apparently crappy relationship, and the fact that he was an ungrateful asshole. 

Josh relented slightly. “I’ll tell you this story because it involves me as well. And we were so young,” he leaned with his back against the checkout counter, facing away from customers. “When we were in our freshman year of high school, he played soccer while I participated in theatre. He enjoyed it and he was actually quite good at it, you know,” Josh smiled, obviously replaying memories. “But, high school classes grew increasingly harder. We both struggled, honestly. We love to learn more. . . I mean, you know this about me. He’s the same way. But we really only enjoy doing it most when it concerns the subjects for which we’re passionate. 

So, high school work being less than interesting to us both, our grades dropped. Big time,” his eyes widened, once again reliving it all. At this point, he was staring into space to tell the story. “Our parents and teachers came down on us hard. They told us we would be kicked out of our extracurricular activities if we didn’t raise our grades.”

You shook your head, looking around the store. A couple of regulars were perusing. You knew them well enough to know it would be awhile until they were done. “I know exactly where this is going.”

You both made eye contact then, and as he looked your way, he gave a little closed-mouth grin that made his eyes crinkle. “Yeah? Guess.”

You smirked at your friend. “You, being you, were determined to show that you had what it took to make the grade. You cared enough about theatre to continue it,” he nodded at your words. “And, in the time I’ve known you, you’ve never been one to say no to a challenge. It’s why we are friends. I love a good challenge.”

He made a noise of agreeance. Then, his eyebrows raised and his lips turned down. The look he gave you told you he was impressed. “You know me well,” he continued. “Now, how well do you know your roommate?” 

You scoffed. “As you know, not fucking well. But I know he couldn’t give two shits about what others think of him,” you pointed to yourself. “I’m a shining example. So, —.”

“Essentially, he said ‘fuck it’ and just decided to continue on with what he had been doing in his classes, which was jack shit,” Josh had finished for you, wanting to complete the story he’d begun.

“How did he even pass high school?”

He gave you a deadpan stare and raised his  eyebrows. You rolled your eyes. At the same time, you both said:

“Girls.”

You rolled your eyes even harder this time. “Good God.”

Josh nodded, lips turned down, his eyes still held a little glint. “Yup. Get my point now?”

“Yeah, but like I just said, I’m not one to turn down a challenge. Just like you, Josh,” you smiled at a customer who was finally walking up to the counter, a few records in hand. “And your brother. . .I’ve learned he is nothing if not a challenge.” 

He nodded, he knew you were right. And he’d known you long enough to know that you did indeed enjoy overcoming any problem life may hand you.

In this instance, you hoped he understood your current challenge/problem was Jake.

And you needed to know how to fix it. Josh was your only source. You just had to get him to break for more information. 

Again, you really liked a good challenge. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

The shift rolled on. The two of you had been working the closing shift that day. 

So, as the day shifted to evening, and with about an hour before the store closed up, you started nightly duties. Josh went about straightening vinyls, fixed the ‘Featured’ wall (his favorite), and re-folded the shirts the store carried with the Black and Gold’s logo. 

Meanwhile, you swept and dusted the store. 

You hated to admit it. You really did. But you couldn’t help how the conversation from earlier had piqued your interest even more than before. 

You were now hooked. You wanted to learn more about your mysterious roommate. 

You debated how you were going to ask Josh for more information. What was a way you could ask that would convince him to tell you more about his twin? 

Ever since Jake had moved in, you’d tried so desperately to get information out of Josh. 

And he just refused to budge.

You were putting the broom away when you’d settled on how to ask him. 

You were going to be a jackass and use manipulation. 

You sucked, you knew this. You were just dying to know more about this person with whom you shared your home. And, to reiterate, it had been a damn month of knowing next to nothing about him. 

So, when you joined Josh behind the counter as he balanced the register, you were ready to play your hand. 

“Alright, so, Elsie still isn’t sure if she wants to be in your movie.” There it was. A complete lie using your sister— the one he was completely smitten with. In truth, Elsie had agreed on the spot. 

But, again, desperation had led you to this. 

You didn’t look up from your task of watering the plants that sat at the window. Just keep talking. “I have a proposition for you. You tell me more about Jake and I will convince her with everything I have to star in your film.”

You still didn’t look over to him. You were afraid of rejection. Then, you heard what seemed to be a sigh of defeat out of your best friend. You looked up to him, his eyes still reading uncertainty.

“Y/N,” he sighed. You knew he was about to say the same thing he had said for the past month. 

“I know, Josh. It’s not your story,” you moved forward to be standing right next to him. You balanced your elbow on the counter, you needed to say your piece—needed him to understand. You locked eyes with him, pleading. “Come on, Josh. I am desperate. He won’t offer anything up. He is silent. It’s been a month. He refuses to acknowledge my presence, hence me forcing him to notice me with the rules,” you paused, suddenly looking to the ground. You needed Josh to bend to your vulnerability. “But, I just need something else. You told me that one story earlier,” you urged. “Just something else small that might help me know him a bit better than I do now.”

You looked up. You were anticipating another rejection from him after you’d finished babbling. Though, his eyes seemed to open more at your apparent state of helplessness. 

He knew that it wasn’t fair what Jake was putting you through. He had to acknowledge that. You knew he felt most things with you. And you knew he was someone who had enough integrity to want to help you out. He knew this situation had been less than ideal.

He just had to loosen up on his stance of not wanting to tell his brother’s stories.

He released one more sigh. “Fine,” he looked you in the eyes. “And please try your hardest to get your sister convinced to star in my film. The role was created for her.”

You nodded. You looked to the ground once more at that last part. You felt guilty for using that little white lie. “You’ve got it.”

“Y/N.”

You looked up to him after he’d spoken your name in a tone that was much more serious than his usual. 

His brown irises were intent as he spoke. “You have to know I’m breaking a big rule of mine,” he continued. “I don’t like speaking to stories that belong to other people. Our experiences are unique to us. They deserve to be told by those to whom they happened.” 

You nodded. You understood his point. You totally knew why he felt the way he did. 

“Josh, you can just tell me childhood stories that involve both of you,” you grabbed his arm. You needed him to know you were being genuine. “I don’t want to make you betray your principles.”

He patted the hand you’d placed on his arm. “I appreciate that, Y/N,” he cleared his throat. “I just think you need to know some of the—,” he spread his hands out to emphasize, then clapped them back together. “The bigger pieces of him. At the moment, he won’t let himself show you who he is. He really isn’t a bad person. He’s just been through a hell of a lot recently.” 

All you could do was nod your head once. There wasn’t much left for you to say. You would let the curly headed man begin when he was ready. 

He eyed the clock. You looked with him. Only thirty minutes to eight o’clock. 

You looked down to your palms, wiping them on your jeans. They were suddenly getting clammy at the prospect of what information could be hitting you within the next 30 minutes. 

“I’m going to begin by saying that as his five-minutes-older brother, I’m glad that Jake gets to finally live life for himself without having to worry about being hung up on a girl,” he looked to the two folded chairs that always sat behind the counter. “Let’s sit.” 

You followed him to the chairs. And as he sat in the right chair, you sat in the left. He looked into space, contemplating what to say next. 

“Jake is seriously going through something he has never experienced before. I mean, your significant other being unfaithful to you sucks anyhow. But she’s been all he’s known for so long. . . This is a complete life upheaval for him, of sorts,” he pauses. “He and this girl — they truly were together for a long time. What are he and I . . . 24 now?” 

You nodded.

“Well, they got together when we were juniors in high school. That would make this relationship about seven years old,” he sighed. “Long time to be together—and it began when they were really only kids.”

You nodded again, coaxing him on. 

“So, since they were together that long. . . there was a lot that happened between them in high school alone, but then you have post-high school when he set his life plan on the back burner for her. We had these plans — big ones. A dream we’d shared. All of us. Sammy and Danny included.”

You were wondering what the dream could have been. “What was the dream?”

Josh shook his head. “It was Jake’s first. We all followed along behind him,” he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. “It wouldn’t be right for me to share.” 

You were left wondering at that, but you did understand why Josh didn’t want to share. There was honor in that. And he wouldn’t be Josh if he didn’t show his honor, especially by showing loyalty to those he loved. 

“So, his dream. . .,” you exaggerated the word by using your hands as jazz hands. “It went down the tubes?”

Josh gave you a look. It was a look that told you to take a step back and try to understand. 

You relented. 

You knew it was only right to put your grumpiness with Jake aside for this story. Josh was showing vulnerability on his brother’s behalf. Plus, you’d been the one to force Josh out of his moral values to divulge Jake things. It wasn’t right to act anything but respectful to these tellings of Jake. For Josh’s sake alone.

And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t dying to hear more. Learning of Jake’s past was like satisfying this raging itch.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was quiet. 

The edges of Josh’s eyes wrinkled as he gave you a reassuring grin. “It’s okay,” he patted your knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I know why you’re blunt about him. I know the man’s entire range of emotions. He acts like a child when he— when his emotions are so big and bad.”

“And right now,” you started. Your heart was growing slightly soft. “He is feeling the most emotions.”

Josh shook his head to agree. “Though, this girl was always a pill,” he rolled his eyes. “I liked her a lot at first, truly. But she started flirting with me an awful lot to be dating my brother,” his body shook as if to shake the memory. “It’s honestly not a shock to me that their relationship ended the way it did.”

Though, as soon as the last words had left his mouth, he looked down to consider them. He was weighed down by an emotion he didn’t need to speak out loud for you to know. Guilt.

It was your turn to reach a hand over to touch his knee. You just sat your hand there and told him. “You cannot blame yourself for any of this.”

He continued looking down. “I should have talked to him about how she would make advances. . . To warn him. Maybe he would have never gone and he could have—.”

He placed a palm to his forehead, eyes closing. He was going to get lost in this thought if you didn’t stop him. 

“Josh, she was a terrible person all along,” you placed a hand on his back, rubbing his right shoulder blade. “Jake isn’t a stupid person. He can’t be. You aren’t. And he’s your twin brother. He could have noticed the signs if he wanted to. It was his responsibility to drop her when he had the chance,” you gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Before any of this happened. Apparently he just loved her too much to fully acknowledge what he needed to do.”

You gave him a couple of minutes to really think about that. Then, finally, he lifted his head. “He wouldn’t have listened to me anyways,” He had a gleam in his eye. “My brother is a stubborn asshole,” he chuckled a little. “If you haven’t noticed.”

You gave him a look that said ‘No? Really?’ That turned a few more giggles loose from his chest. 

He continued, letting his tone become serious again. “So, our senior year, Jake really started getting serious about his dream. We all made these real plans, but they were ruined,” he paused, his mouth becoming a straight line. He was remembering a moment that caused a particular annoyance. “That was until she brought up how she wanted him to move with her if she got accepted to this prestigious school in Illinois,” he cleared his throat. “It makes me angry that she asked, but I also get wanting to ask your serious significant other to move with you. It was different—more than that, though. 

Her selfishness was so prominent so often; I think that’s why her asking rubbed me so wrong then, and still does now. She knew if she asked, he’d go. He’d leave his own aspirations in the dust for her. She knew what he wanted—what he’d always wanted. But still, she deemed her choices, her career, more important.”

You nodded, completely seeing eye-to-eye with your best friend. “I think there’s this sense of justice in you for your brother that he hasn’t always seemed to have for himself.”

“Yes!” Josh’s expression was one of relief that you understood. “And the thing with Jake is

. . . He’s always—girls have—,” he paused, gathering his thoughts. “As soon as his hormones kicked in when we were younger, he started noticing girls. He indulged himself in all of that,” Josh lifted his eyebrows. “He really has a strong appreciation for women, I’ll say that.” 

You rolled your eyes, nodding and then crossing your arms, sitting back. Your stomach leaped in a way you chose to ignore at the mention of his appreciation for women. To you, it was ludicrous that he couldn’t appreciate you in some capacity. If he needed sex in order to appreciate a woman, you were not the one.

“A big piece of him changed when girls started becoming involved. He lost a piece of himself. It’s almost as though he didn’t see himself as worthy without one. And now—.”

“And that’s why it’s so hard for him right now,” you finished the statement, bringing yourself back. “He’s lost a sense of his identity. . .

having to find out who he is without a woman.” 

Josh clicked his tongue, a smirk showing with a dimple in his cheek. “Precisely. It’s been a while for him,” a little spark caught in his eye. “On the drive moving him here, I told him that he needs to take a fucking break from women until he starts understanding what it means to think of what he wants first,” he rubbed at his forehead. “I know it seems like a terrible thing for me to say, but I think it’s important for him to put himself first for once in his goddamned life. He deserves to know who he is without a woman claiming him as her own.”

“Because he is worth knowing himself for who he is,” you concluded.

“Aw, Y/N. . . You growing a soft spot for Jakey?” Josh smiled smugly at you.

You held eye contact with him for a few seconds and then laughed outright at his statement. “You’re funny,” you looked to the clock, realizing you were only a couple of minutes from closing. You got up from the foldable chair and went to grab your purse from a hook behind the desk.

Josh followed your lead, but stopped to look for his phone. He tapped at all of his pockets.  Then, coming up short, he looked around the register and the checkout counter. 

You helped him look. But, the sound of Gloria Gaynor belting that “she will survive” helped you locate it easier. You saw it light up, sitting atop a box of new records at the back of the shop. 

You groaned, already walking to get it for him.

“Josh, you have got to be better about keeping track of your phone.”

Josh tsked at you, “And you have got to be better about not bossing me around,” he turned off the lights around the register. “I refuse to be a slave to such a tiny device that doesn’t serve any purpose to my spiritual healing.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, though you knew he was right. As you approached his phone, you got one final glimpse at the caller ID picture. It had been a picture of Jake. 

Even though you had just taken a deep dive into Jake’s past and grown a tiny fraction of sympathy and understanding for him. . .his picture still made you want to punch things. 

As much as his recent past had sucked, he  treated you with such blatant disrespect for someone who had offered their home to him. 

When you traipsed back over to Josh, he was waiting for you at the door, hand already on the doorknob to leave. “Jake called you.”

Josh turned around. His back was facing you and a thumb pointed behind him. “Pocket,” he said.

You snickered a little bit and did as he told you. Josh was choosing you over his prick of a brother and, quite frankly, you were bursting at the seams. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were not ready to go home to more awkwardness and Josh could tell as much, so he invited you to get a quick drink after work with him. 

He filled you in on everything else he deemed necessary as you drank a couple of margaritas on the rocks, him settling on just one Salty Dog.

Josh told a few finishing details about how much it had sucked to be separated from his womb mate for so many years.

“It honestly felt like I was cut off from him.”

Your heart hurt for him. “I’m glad he is nearer to you now,” you paused, curious. “Did he miss you that much too?”

Josh set a look on you, “Who was the first person he called after it happened? He was ready to be with me again,” he put a hand over his heart. “Came back to his understanding, sensitive twin . . . every moon needs its sun.”

You gave a conceding nod and shrug. “Fair,” you smiled. “You're obviously the sun.”

“Obviously,” he flashed a smile your way. “He might not admit it right now, but he was not at his happiest with her,” he stated. “As ironic or untrue it may seem with his moodiness, I think if he isn’t already, Jake is on his way to feeling the most free he has in a long time. I’m glad to have him back with me. Being away from each other wasn’t good for either of us.”

Your heart swelled for the tenderhearted man next to you. You watched as he looked off into space with what could only be described as a soft sort of pensiveness. You were happy for your friend, despite how Jake was acting or made you feel.

You felt your head get slightly light from the alcohol on an almost empty stomach from being at work nearly all day. You were still so curious, you wanted to know more.

“So, how did it happen?”

“Well, all I know is she was getting quite distant for a while, but Jacob thought she was only distracted by her job. Gave her the benefit of the doubt, let her do her thing and just followed along,” he gave you a look. “He did that much too often. My brother isn’t a puppy dog, but he followed her around like one,” Josh’s jaw clenched and he scratched at his bare chin. “One would say that he loved her. But as his twin, if my telepathic brain is worth anything, I believe that more than love, Jake shared so much with her when they were young that he felt obligated to follow her lead. . .no matter what.”

“And that makes you angry.”

“Oh, quite,” he continued, eyebrows bunched together. “The way he put it when he told me of the situation was that it was as though she was,” he held up air quotes. “‘Shooting the shit.’”

“Just told him like it was no big deal?” You shook your head. “That’s harsh.” 

“More than that, told him in a way that made it seem like she was already done. Essentially, his reaction meant nothing to her. She just needed to tell him in order to end things,” he continued. “She told him it had been going on for quite some time and that she didn’t think they could make it work after it all.”

“What did she do after she told him? What happened after?”

Alcohol was interacting with your senses. Otherwise, you wouldn’t show open curiosity like this. You were sure of it. 

“Well, she left,” He chewed his lip lightly. “Left Jake to deal with the aftermath — the knowledge of it all — by himself. She went to stay with a friend and he had exactly a week to get his shit together and move out. So, being the decent and thoughtful person he is,” you made a sound. Josh gave you a look. “He respected her wishes and got the hell out.”

You really had no words for the situation. It was horrid for Jake, you had to admit. You felt bad for him. You really did. Even though he pissed you off beyond belief, you still knew he was deserving of better than any of what she had put him through. 

You just wished he wouldn’t react in a way that made him become an utter jerk. Due to his attitude, you couldn’t claim that you knew the person who seemed so selfless and loving in Josh’s stories. 

The person you knew was the opposite of the one told in Josh’s tales. 

You only knew a self-centered jerk who held absolutely no respect for you in any way. 

You hated to admit to yourself just how much you wished to know the person Josh had told you about this evening. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

As Josh dropped you off at the stoop to your apartment that night, he shared with you an idea that had come to him. 

“This weekend. We need to do something this weekend.”

You quickly agreed, “Yes! I’d love to have a weekend that’s just us. . .like old times.”

“Actually,” he scuffed the bottom of his white sneaker against the stair step he stood on. He eyed you. “How about we involve Sammy and Danny?”

You could be okay with that. Then suddenly, your stomach flipped. “What about Jake?”

He met your eyes. “He would join. All of us. Game night.”

“Josh,” his name came out like a child’s whine. “Why?” 

He put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “It will be good for both of you. He’ll get to be around you with others and you’ll get to be around him while he’s with people he already knows and feels most comfortable with,” he squeezed lightly at your shoulder. “It will be great. He’ll come out of his shell, and surely he’ll act a little more like himself if he’s around myself and the other two.”

Your stomach rolled at the idea of actually spending any sort of time with Jake. 

Establishing rules? Sure, you could do that. It might take 10 minutes max. But an extended amount of time actually hanging out? 

You agreed to it before Josh left you that night, even though you had your hesitations. 

You wanted to bring some joy to the man that had been there for you through so much. You were also desperate to look like the bigger person in this situation. And, surely agreeing to this would make Josh see that you were trying when Jake wasn’t. 

You needed Josh to see the trueness of your heart in all of this, no matter how much bitterness his brother had caused you.

When you’d entered your home that evening, the lights had all been off. Jake’s door was closed. He was asleep. Thank God.

As you stood at the bathroom mirror taking off your makeup, you convinced yourself it would be fine. You could find positives. You’d hung out with the other three before. You all got along very well in a group setting and honestly always had a great time. That part would be all right.

You just had to convince yourself that Jake wouldn’t ruin it by simply being there with his persistent little dark cloud of distemper. 

By the time you tucked yourself under your covers, you decided no matter what, you would have a fun time. If only for the benefit of the other boys and yourself.

You were also determined to show the best parts of yourself to Jake. A darker part of you wanted him to feel slightly (very) guilty for how he’d been treating his simply incredible roommate. 

But before game night, you had to talk to him about your rules. You weren’t looking forward to him blowing you off. You had a terrible idea that would be the response you’d get to you speaking to him. 

But you still had to try.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You thought through the best time to go over the rules with him, and decided the day before your night with the guys was the best option.

Your mind had settled on Jake taking two possible routes with the conversation. You figured going over them on that Friday before would work for both of these possibilities. 

One possibility was that he would sulk and pout and react like an asshole, and doing it on Friday would give him an entire day to do so. The second option was that he could very possibly just straight up ignore you like he usually did. And, you thought it best to do it a day before he would be forced to associate with you. 

It also seemed fitting to do so on the day that marked almost an entire month of him living with you. You were only one day away from it having been a whole month of him sharing your home. What a perfect time to actually acknowledge and officially, really talk to you. 

Time for him to realize all you were was a super kind person. A person who offered him shelter when there was virtually nowhere else for him to go. 

He needed to respect you and your hospitality.

You had gotten used to him usually arriving home by six every night. So, you loomed in the living room until he got home around six that evening. 

And almost right at 6 o’clock, you heard his keys jingle in the lock. 

As soon as he walked in and saw you leaning against the couch, he stopped to stare at you. It was an awkward-ass stare that made you want to slap him right across the smooth skin of his tanned cheek. 

He was just infuriating. 

“Hey,” you started, trying to sound easygoing. You didn’t know why you were nervous, but you were. 

“Hi,” his response was spoken as a question. 

You knew that you standing there probably seemed extremely odd to the man.

You didn’t care if it made him feel uncomfortable. He deserved it after making you feel edgy for the last month in your own home.

He started to move on from you, already deciding to disregard you. 

“So,” you started, sticking to the assignment. And, surprisingly when you spoke, he stopped in his tracks. “I think I’ve decided it might be a good idea to make some apartment rules.”

With his back facing you, you saw him shake his head. His wavy locks caught the streams of the evening sun’s yellow glow, making the head shake that much more offensive. 

When he still didn’t turn around, you continued. “You can go change your clothes if you want,” you folded your arms tighter to your chest. “I’ll wait out here.”

He then turned, crossed back to the kitchen counter and dropped his keys in the key bowl you’d had since Elsie lived at the apartment. Then finally, he faced you. 

Your stomach did a little flip. Why were you nervous to establish these rules for your apartment? You just needed to get it over with. 

He raised his eyebrows and gave you a look that said ‘so?’ 

His face showed that he was already irritated. It was like the mere act of standing across from you was too much. Being forced to interact with you was a hassle. 

And instantly, you were irked. Could he be any more ridiculous? 

Admittedly, you were also already done with this talk. Screw him. You heatedly whipped your phone out of the back pocket of your jean shorts. You clicked through to your notes, where you’d started the rule list. 

You started with the most agreeable rules.

“The first rule: don’t go in each other’s rooms. I think that’s common sense, but just in case it needs to be stated,” you moved on. “Number two: if we buy food or drinks, they belong to us and only us. I was thinking we could even make two separate sides of the fridge. One side for yours and one for mine.”

You looked up when you heard him take a breath. You looked at him just in time to see him breathe out a tight-lipped sigh, a mocking smirk on his face as he bugged his eyes. 

You chose to ignore him, blatantly rolling your eyes and looked back to your phone. 

“Rule number three: do your own dishes and do your best to keep the sink empty. Rule number four: keep our common spaces clean. You know, kitchen, dining room, living room, bathroom. . .clean up after yourself,” you glanced at him, seeing that he was looking into space, eyes still huge. His arms were crossed across his chest as yours had been. “Rule five: do your own laundry. And I think switching off every other day for whose laundry day it is would be a good idea. I get Monday, you get Tuesday, I get Wednesday. . .and so on.”

You paused, giving him room for notes if he had any. His face held a look you couldn’t quite read. 

“Any thoughts?” You questioned. 

He gave a little chuckle that seemed to mock the same air you’d just spoken the rules to. It was insulting. Still, you wanted to hear from him. So you waited. 

And after a solid two minutes of just standing there, he loudly exhaled. His hand combed through the front of his hair, pushing it back. His eyes blinked a couple of times afterwards. “You seem to have it all nailed down, roomie.”

“Well, thanks,” you hesitantly responded. You were pleased that he was okay with what you’d shared so far. But his mention of the nickname seemed more snarky than anything.

“No, I mean,” he cleared his throat, rubbing at his chin. “You’ve got it nailed down. Like, you left no room for any ‘notes.’”

You scoffed at the air quotes he gave the word. “I’ve hardly ‘nailed it down’,” you gave your own air quotes for his words. “These are just an outline of ideas I have.”

“Just keep going,” he sighed as though he was completely exasperated and tucked both hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I have a date in like an hour.”

“A date?” 

“And it’s your business how?”

“You just told me,” you argued. “That’s how.”

“Didn’t mean you could ask questions about it,” he bit back. “I was just telling you so you would know I don’t have time to just stand here and listen to you drag on about these ‘rules’.”

You shook your head, shocked at how rude a person could be. Completely in awe of the man, you decided you would continue. You were ready to be rid of him. 

“Fine,” you angrily pressed your phone back on. “Speaking of dates. . .Rule six: when you have a date over, please keep them out of the common areas and remember the walls are thin. . . In general, no especially loud music, no loud. . .,” you cleared your throat and your skin prickled with embarrassment. “. . .  anything else.”

“Oh,” he seemed interested. Figured. If it had to do with a woman, his interest was suddenly piqued. “That also applies to you and Josh, I assume?”

“What?!” You were suddenly very disturbed at that statement. “Josh and me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He tilted his head down, his eyes sticking onto yours, hair falling to swing next to his face. “Seriously? You apparently know the walls are thin as shit. And our rooms are right next door, so I can hear the two of you stay up all hours of the night talking,” he looked to the side, his eyebrows raising. “Who knows what the hell else you both do after I fall asleep. You are both touchy as fuck with one another, so I’ll just let my mind wander with what happens behind closed doors.”

You started laughing hysterically at the whole statement Jake had just made. You couldn’t even gather your thoughts. Shocked was an understatement for how Jake’s assumptions left you feeling. 

“Are you kidding me?” You stepped towards him, pointing a finger in his direction. “Of course you would assume a friendship is more than what it actually is. Hopeless fuckin’ roma—.”

You stopped yourself. You had almost called him a hopeless romantic. How would you even begin to explain that you knew enough about him to call him that?

He took a step forward, his jaw clenched. He crossed his arms across his chest again. His chest seemed to continue to rise with his irritation. His fingers were digging into his biceps, clad in his light blue button-up.

“No, finish. Please.” 

Your blood pressure was rising, you felt your skin prickling with embarrassment and guilt. Your heart was racing. You shouldn’t have exploded and almost exposed what Josh had told you. You couldn’t betray Josh’s trust like that. You were being errant. You knew an anxiety attack was on the horizon if you didn’t stop soon. Betraying someone you love was known to bring you to tears quicker than almost anything else. 

You also couldn’t deny how bad you felt for referring to something that was probably still a sensitive topic to your roommate. As much as you despised him, you didn’t have to be so overtly uncool towards him in a hard time.

“Let’s just keep on with the rules,” you tried to calm yourself down. You didn’t need to have an anxiety attack in front of him. That was the last thing you needed. “Please?”

He seemed to catch on to your nerves. And luck seemed to be on your side with how he relented so quickly. He still seemed a little irked, but his eyes were softer than they were before.

“Go on.”

You breathed in and out once, then situated your nerves the best you could to finish. 

“I, um, I thought it would be cool to add a little something that would help keep us accountable for getting to know each other,” you didn’t want to meet his eyes, so you kept yours glued to the screen of your phone. “We both love music, so I was thinking. . .Rule seven: we switch off every other night and play a record on the record player. One of our own choosing. It would give us a good idea of who we’re living with.”

“Because the music we love really says so much about who we are,” he agreed honestly. 

You looked up after he’d spoken, and the look on his face as he looked down said he hadn’t meant to speak it out loud. His eyebrows knitted together like he had conflict within himself. He didn’t want you to know he thought similarly to you, you were sure of it. He’d let his precious little guard down the slightest, smallest bit. 

You couldn’t help it when a teeny-tiny grin landed on your lips. You shook it away before he could possibly see.

“Yep. Totally,” you said very quietly in response. But you knew he heard you when he blinked a couple times and then ran a hand through his hair, bringing his head back up in the process. 

He was making you feel very antsy, and his date would be here soon. So, you tried to finish quickly. 

“And finally, rule eight: we keep a work schedule posted to the fridge so we’re aware of when the other one will be at home. It will be helpful to know if the other one is at work; just in case of an emergency or anything, I thought it’d be helpful.”

You looked up as you finished, he was now leaning back against the kitchen counter. His amber-brown eyes stayed locked on yours earnestly for a bit. You felt your cheeks heat. Then he asked, “And you’re sure there’s not anything else?” 

You shook your head ‘no’.

His previously haughty tone was coming back when he spoke next. “How do you expect me to remember all of these things? And we'll post our schedules on the fridge?”

You couldn’t help it as your heart leapt the slightest bit. He still wasn’t completely rejecting any of the rules. In fact, unless he was somehow being sarcastic, he even wanted a way to remember them. 

“I—I’ll print it all out at work and put everything on the fridge,” you shoved your phone into your back pocket. “I’ll even include a place for our phone numbers, just in case we ever need those.” You added, "And we can just post our schedules when we get them every week."

He nodded once. He looked up at the ceiling then, obviously done with the conversation. You didn’t blame him. You really were too. 

You were suddenly longing for him to ignore you again. His presence was making you tense. You didn’t know how to act around him. You hadn’t had that problem with anyone for a long time. 

The last time was probably middle school when no one knew how to act around each other. 

But now as an adult woman? You hated that someone made you feel like this. 

And in your own home, no less.

He pushed off the counter and started to his room. Then, only steps from his room, he turned on his boot to face you, he held a look of blatant vexation. 

Ugh, what now? You thought.

“Do we really have to have our own sections for our food and drinks in the fridge? Why don’t we just put our initials on things that belong to us?” He reasoned. “I’ll even buy the damned Sharpie.”

You couldn’t find a way to dispute his suggestion in the moment. You could agree with that. “Yeah, sounds good. Good idea.”

He gave an almost-smile (couldn’t show too much cordiality), “I have a few of those every once in a while.” 

He then got a smug grin on his face, “Oh, and you might want to get some earplugs for tonight. . .paper thin walls and all that.”

“Jake,” you were stunned at the audacity. Your shoulders tightened up. “Seriously?”

He set his head back, raising his eyebrows up. A smirk raised his lips, “Nowhere on that rules list did you say I’m not allowed to bring women over. And I really can’t control whether or not I make them scream,” he set you with a stare, raising a brow. “And I’ve gotta say, that’s always been a pretty normal occurrence,” he paused. “And I most likely wouldn’t have been too keen on following a ‘no women’ rule anyway, so.”

“Asshole,” You scoffed, your thighs quivered. The disdain he caused you floated through your whole body. “A little full of yourself?”

“Alright then, don’t plug your ears,” his smirk only grew. “You’ll hear for yourself tonight. Post-breakup recovery fuck, y’know? Gotta get some of this lingering tension out of my system,” he shook his shoulders and arms out to emphasize his words.

Your skin grew angry goosebumps at the thought of everything he’d just said to you. You were amazed by him. Truly. 

Not in a good way. Not amazed in the sense he’d wanted you to be.

He turned on his heel to continue the walk to his room, and you just stood in your spot. Your bare toes dug into the carpet, waiting to hear his door click. 

Once finally alone, you let out a breath you’d apparently been holding. You shook your head at his repulsive words. You were utterly shocked that he would say any of that to you. What the heck? 

This interaction had shown you that it was obviously too much for him to be a pleasant human for an extended period of time.

And he had no issue making you feel completely on edge. 

Distasteful son of a bitch.

You wanted to go hide in your bedroom for the night. You didn’t want to chance running into him again.

You stomped to your room. You had had enough of Jake Kiszka for one night. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You downed the recommended 2-pill dose of melatonin that evening, but snuck in one extra with a giant swig of water. 

Jake had left about an hour prior and you’d be damned if he woke you up with any sex-related noises. 

You were ready to get some sleep anyway, completely tired after the stress you’d dealt with. Your doctor had suggested melatonin to induce necessary rest after any anxious episodes. 

You knew you were to blame for a part of the stress, sticking your foot in your mouth the way you had. But Jake was the main culprit of the stress.

And you were done with him ruling your emotions for the evening. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

And of course, the next morning, Jake was stuck in your head. 

You hated it. It wasn’t because you wanted him there. It was thanks to a ridiculous dream that had plagued you during the night.

Your sleep had graced you with a reminder of the moment you’d almost outed your knowledge of his past. But in the vision, you weren’t feeling the onslaught of nerves you’d originally felt in the moment anymore.

No, in this version of it, all you could focus on was the vision of his chest, how it had been heaving in the midst of his irritation.

And it wasn’t even a covered chest that haunted your dream. No, it was his chest that seemed to be persistently bare. The bronzed, silky-smooth chest you’d seen one too many times in the month he’d lived with you. 

You couldn’t understand how he was 24 years old and still didn’t know how to button his shirts past two buttons. It maddened you that he didn’t know how to button his entire shirt. His toned light brown, sun-kissed chest was distracting in a way you wished it wasn’t.

All you wanted was to escape your roommate. And now he was literally haunting your dreams. 

You had chosen to deny how you’d woken up with sweat on your forehead, hair stuck to your equally sweaty face. You weren’t going to let him have that control over you. Not even in your dreams.

And now, you were completely dreading spending the evening with him in any capacity. 

You just hoped Josh came armed with damn good booze for game night. You desperately needed to get out of your head.

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: next chapter is game night! we’ll finally get introduced to sammy and danny <3

there is sooo much to come. i can’t wait to share more with you all. like i’ve previously mentioned, their story is quite the rollercoaster. our beloved roomies are both very stubborn . . . it’ll make for a grand ‘ol time! lmao

i hope you enjoyed!! plz message me & let me know what you thought! hearing from you guys is just so wonderful! let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future chapters!! <3

taglist:

@joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @jaketlover, @writingcold, @jessicafg03, @gretavangroove, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @reesetrippingthelight, @lallisonl, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @Fretaganvleet, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @whollyfreeamongstthestars, @llightmyllovee, @sacredjake (even if it seemed to refuse to tag, i still tried - ugh! i apologize for any weirdness of the tagging. if i missed you, please let me know! i think i included everyone, but it's def possible i accidentally left someone out.)

[spurgie-cousin]

Maybe it’s a subliminal part of their grift? “We know this looks like a strange combination of food but we have to make do with what we already have on hand with so many mouths to feed!” in hopes that people feel compelled to give them money for food?

Kind of like dressing the kids in layers of oversized, mismatching colored, inappropriate-for-the-current-season clothes while on their preaching/singing circuit might compel the church members to feel sorry for them and donate (when really it’s all going to go to Jill’s Hint water obsession and probably new seasonal clothes for herself)

Honestly maybe, idk that could totally be what they're doing. Maybe Jill is way more slick than I've ever given her credit for, and a lot of the weird stuff is part of her hustle.

I've genuinely never thought of it that way which is wild bc I've known missionaries who were 100% dry beggars, but even though Jill's family is in an almost identical situation (living off of what churches can afford to give you) I've never thought of them as the same for some reason. Missionaries at my church lived off of a percentage of regular tithing funds and then whatever's extra from the non-regular offerings (since it was a large church there was almost always some extra money in the budget given by people who weren't regulars).

From my memory, the expected vibe of someone who was living off offerings/donations from the church to do some kind of "ministry" was very humble, I wanted to say "monk"-esque lol but it wasn't quite that, just that the person was expected to live frugally and be extremely grateful for anything they were given. Missionary-era Derick and Jill Dillard really remind me of how the stereotypical missionary family was expected to present itself. But sometimes, people go into that and realize they can't deal with always living off of what most middle class Americans would consider the bare minimum, so you'd get the dry beggars, who'd be very outwardly cheerful and pious but drop all these subliminal hints about things they wanted, or money they needed, especially if they had kids (and truly I don't always blame them in that regard).

Honestly, just based on her personality, I would believe it if Jill were one of those spouses who likes how it sounds to work in "full time ministry" (it is kind of a flex in the Christian world) but doesn't enjoy the financial situation that puts most people in. Or if by doing music, she thought she could make it big and be another Collingsworth family, but that isn't panning out lol. It totally could be that a lot of her weirdness is a calculated grift.

Edit/TLDR: this is not to say I've never realized Jill and David are grifters btw, I've just never considered that they might purposefully curate certain parts of their online presence, like their younger kids clothes and their meal choices, to subliminally suggest they need donations.

[weenwrites]

Hello! Just finished reading your Rachet soulmate au post. I loved it!🧡🧡🧡 Could you do one for Starscream too?🥺🥺🥺

Soulmate AU Part 2

Summary - In a world where people are bound by destiny to meet their soulmate, how would a cybertronian react to learning their soulmate is a human from Earth? Characters - Starscream Content - Angst, Fluff Category - Headcanons Trigger Warnings - None

✎ A/N: Sure thing! Also I'm real happy to know you enjoyed the previous ones I did!

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

First Words/Soulmate's Name: Starscream would come to the realization that his S/O was most likely an alien from another planet, and he did have a couple expectations. That the universe would match him with someone whom he'd consider worthy, but he's heard about other peoples' soulmates and how they're sometimes a disaster or how sometimes someone's soulmate is the person you'd least expect, but he still can't help but get his hopes up.

He used to bear his soulmark so very proudly, (also in hopes that it would help him find his soulmate quicker) so you can imagine how upset he is when he discovers his soulmate is a human. Other bots aboard the Nemesis would occasionally mock and ridicule him for being destined to a human soulmate, so much so that he now hides it and actively tries to avoid meeting his potential soulmate by staying away from human populated areas.

He tries to keep himself and his potential soulmate from ever meeting, no matter the cost, and no matter how much other people tell him that he can't stop something that's fated to be, it doesn't deter him from trying in the slightest.

A Beautiful Flourish of Color/Something Else: He'd have absolutely no idea that his soulmate was a human, so even after he came to Earth, he wouldn't hide it out of shame. But he would worry over loosing it or the possibility that it would get damaged, so he tries to take care of himself the best he can (which he always has, ever since he learned he was destined to have a soulmate).

How it Goes: The first meeting, no matter where or when it happens, never goes well. No matter how nice you seem, or how friendly you are towards him, he holds so much resentment towards you—despite not knowing you—that he's the one who ruins the first meeting. If, for some reason you stick around, and he sees you frequently, he always acts so snappy and gives you an attitude, more than he does anyone else. It'll take a long time for him to even consider giving you a chance, and whether you meet before or after his encounter with M.E.C.H. will make it harder to get close to him.

He tries to avoid you like the plague, but chances are that Megatron's decided to punish him by assigning him as your guardian and you as his charge, so he can't really stay away from you. Not when he's now responsible for your general safety. He's thought of trying to get rid of you, but Megatron made it clear that he has to keep you alive unless he wants to be punished.

He'll give you an attitude, he'll poke and cringe at you, and he'll point out how much he despises you. He does you the bare minimum by giving you even a crumb of his time, and he complains about how 'needy' you are. You might have even heard him talking to Knockout, ranting about how much he hates the universe for offloading onto him the burden that is watching after you.

If you keep on trying to befriend him, he happens to warm up to you in time. How this happens, he does not know, but he seems more open to talking to you than he was in the beginning. Although, he's still as snappy and rude at times, so it may seem like hardly anything's changed between the two of you.

The more he learns about you, the more he truly begins to open up and be less harsh and rude. And the closer he grows, the more he regrets all the things he's said and done. Only in private does he become more vulnerable and open with you, and only then will he understand why Primus gifted you to him.

[demonic-shadowlucifer]

Let's talk about Exclusionists and how they harm the community they claim to protect: A collection of hate.

Welp! Pride Month is just around the corner, and with it, exclusionist and TERF rhetoric. A few disclaimers before we get into this: -While this is about the harmful things Exclusionists have done, I would like to add that the Inclusionist Community can be *just* as guilty of doing the things I'm about to mention. -Furthermore, I believe that both the "Inclusionist" and "Exclusionist" labels are kind of pointless tbh, since being inclusive is just the bare minimum, y'know? -TERFs and their variants will also be mentioned since TERF Rhetoric is a frequent thing in Exclusionist communities, especially in Longsword Lesbian communities. -This is not intended to be a discourse post at all, this is mostly for educational purposes and awareness. Furthermore, I don't think being queer should be controversial at all.

-And of course, HEAVY trigger warning for the following: Exclusionism, TERF Rhetoric, Ableism, Suicide Bait, Encouragement of Violence and more. For this post, I have collected screenshots of many hurtful things exclusionists have said, and evidence to prove links to rhetoric from non-queer homophobes. These are screenshots from Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram as well. I give credit to @/animefacialreconitionsoftware01 on Tumblr, Exclusionist Struggle Tweets on Twitter, exclusmoment on Instagram and many others for these screenshots.

So, hang on, what even is an exclusionist?

An exclusionist is a group of mostly queer individuals who attempt to gatekeep the LGBTQ+ Community by claiming certain groups aren't truly queer or "not queer enough".

Exclusionist can be used on it's own, but also as an umbrella term for other groups, such as: Mspec Exclusionists (Battleaxe Bis) - A group of exclusionists that believe that other Multisexual labels outside of "Bi" are harmful, or that they're the same as bisexual. Their primary targets tend to be pansexuals and panromantics. Transmedicalists - A group of mostly exclusionists (Mostly trans people, but occasionally cis people), who believe that you must meet a certain number of requirements in order to be Transgender. While every transmedicalist has different views, the most common opinion is that dysphoria is required to be trans. One well known Transmedicalist is Kalvin Garrah. Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists (TERF) - One of the most recognizable Exclusionist groups. While TERFs aren't inherently queer, their rhetoric can overlap with many other groups (Especially Longsword Lesbians and Transmedicalists on some occasions), so they get a mention here. There's not really much to say about them, outside of the fact that they're simply transmisic feminists. Their primary targets include trans women, but they may also target trans men, nonbinary folks, bisexuals and other mspec groups, intersex folks and sometimes ace/aro folks. The group also has *several* links to white supremacy. Longsword Lesbians - Speaking of Longsword Lesbians, this is a group that intends to fight lesbian erasure. This one might have had good intentions at first, but then started excluding other lesbians, becoming an exclusionist group, though I can't get much information on it's origins. Their primary targets include Nonbinary Lesbians, Mspec Lesbians and PNC Lesbians. They may also exclude GNC lesbians and trans lesbians, though not all of them do. Gravity Knife Gays - Exclusionists that target other gay men, primary nonbinary gays, Mspec Gays and PNC Gays. They may also target GNC gay men and trans gay men, though not all of them do. Aspec Exclusionists - I don't think I need to explain this one. So, why are they bad?

Well, there's evidence on how it's bad. Outside of erasure and gatekeeping harmless identities, a lot of exclusionists have a straight up habit of harassing other queer folks or calling for harassment. And there's plenty of evidence to prove it as well. I'm going to warn you, some of these contain suicide bait and slurs. Please proceed with caution if that sort of thing stresses you out. Some words are censored to avoid getting banned (and for my own comfort as well). Obviously, you have the ones that are simple gatekeeping, which is almost always bad.

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from user "alpinestag". The text reads "REAL lesbians don't date or sleep with men in their past lives! Let's be real, if your soul married a man 1000 years ago, you're bisexual"). I *was* originally going to give this person the benefit of the doubt and assume they were joking, but when I looked they had a *lot* of TERFy shit on their blog, so they were definitely serious.

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from user "didcourze". The text reads "on asexuals having sex, why would u want to have sex with someone if not attracted to them? i get it u still have a sex drive even if ure not attracted to people sexually but how could you justify using someone that u clearly have no interest in solely for sex, ur own pleasure, like that's so fucked??") And then, there's folks that will take it to more extreme levels, like these fellas. This one might not be calling for harassment, but it is *heavily* implied.

(Image ID: A screenshot from a Twitter post in dark mode that shows another screenshot of a Twitter user's bio, also in dark mode. Some information is blacked out in red. The primary tweet has the text "Fucking trenders. Excluse do your thing 💖" The screenshot of the twitter bio below the text contains many plant emojis and heart emojis, and shows the text "I genuinely want to be nice to you all", "hy/him/hers", "transmasch butch boi. OMNIGAY", "'TRENDER" on T" and other information about their location, age, followers and following and the join date. End ID). This one on the other hand... this is blatant harassment.

(Image ID: A screenshot of a Tumblr ask from an anonymous user. The message reads "transwomen are men and if they were really women you wouldnt have to be screaming it 100 times. also k yourself.". A word that starts with k is also blocked out in red. End ID). "Asexuals don't experience oppression" ....Are you sure about that?

(Image ID: A screenshot of a Tumblr dm by a user named "aphobickaito". Some words are blacked out in red. The messages read "D bitch.". Did your daddy r you so hard that your brain got fucked too and you think this dragon cake shit is funny? Because that's some shit". End ID) For those wondering, the last censored word is the r-slur. Some posts will also advocate for straight up violence, like these ones below.

(Image ID: A screenshot of a Tumblr post from a user named "aletheius". The text reads "I love being aphobic. if you don't want to bed the love of your life you should be beaten up and stuffed in a locker".)

(Image ID: A screenshot of a twitter message/post from user "gowonstiara". The text reads "asexuals deserve to d*3". End ID).

(Image ID: A screenshot of a twitter user's bio in dark mode. Some information and words are blocked out in either red or blue. A scribble of blue has the words "Irrelevant stuff here". The rest of the bio reads "k all bi/pan lesbians". End ID).

(Image ID: A screenshot of a twitter post from user "brontydownunder" in dark mode. The text reads "'They're putting asexuals in concentration camps in China' good. Put more". End ID).

(Image ID: An screenshot of a post containing an image of a cropped Asexual flag. The text on the flag is slightly edited, and reads "START KILLING US". End ID) A lot of exclusionist posts also have a *lot* of suicide bait in them as well, such as these ones shown below. Again, scroll with caution if you are sensitive to these sorts of things. There is also an f-slur being used with malicious intent in one of these.

(Image ID: A twitter post from user "beebies" in dark mode, with the two e's replaced by 3. Part of the text has been blocked out with red. The text reads "if u go by they/them go k ll urself no offense lol 😍". End ID). I was going to censor the slur in this one, but decided not to just to show how malicious exclusionists really can be.

(Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr notification. Part of the text is blacked out in red. The text reads "net-angel reblogged your post: asexual faggots sh t yourself challenge". End ID) And then there's some that will just straight up admit to hating certain groups and even harassing them. Others will admit to being fucking proud of their bigotry.

(Image ID: A screenshot of a twitter post from "sinboundhaibane" in dark mode. The text reads "i hate trans men, yes. if you understood the material realities of the situation, you would hate them too".)

(Image ID: A screenshot of a twitter post from an unknown Twitter user. The text reads "does anyone have edits they want views on i'm about to bully a bi/pan lesbian supporter 🏃‍♀️". End ID)

(Image ID: Two tweets from Twitter users "pipcrgrace" and "ssapphrodite". The text on the first tweet reads "just say you hate he him lesbians and move on...", the text on the second tweet has four variations of "i hate he/him lesbians" and "i ha" at the end. End ID).

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from user "jwjdhdjsksks". The text reads "The panphobes are out in full force today and I'm so proud". End ID). It should be obvious on why this is bad. Advocating for harassment or straight up violence, or telling someone to hurt themselves over their identity is NEVER a good thing no matter how you look at it. No buts, whats or ifs. And that's not even the end of this either. There's also some exclusionists who will restate the *same exact* rhetoric that Anti-LGBTQ+ people spew around. Here's a look.

TERF rhetoric (And invalidation of nonbinary identities)

(Image ID: Three tweets from three users with their names blocked by red, yellow and teal respectively. The screenshot is taken in light mode. The first tweet reads "I've spoken to many girls on here who did transition due to bullying/pressure. Lesbians are also attracted to girls." The second reads The two aren't mutually exclusive, either. Some trans men and trans women identify as lesbians, too.". The third tweet reads "Lesbians are female only.". End ID). Hmmm, I wonder where I've heard THIS before.

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from an individual who's username is pixeled out. The text reads "I really hate the Blue's Clues pride video. They are literally forcing their mogai shit on to little kids. Why do they have to feed kids bs like "nonbinary gender identities" and "pansexuality" on to children!? Why? (Just to clarify: I am not against teaching children about LGBT stuff, I am against teaching children bs)." End ID). Some will admit to straight up misgendering people as well. Again, seems familiar?

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from user "feminismnightmare". The text reads "Hi if you claim to be trans and tell me you're not dysphoric I'm going to use your biological pronouns". End ID). *More* TERF rhetoric (I would also like to point out that the saying "men are trash" is almost always a red flag, no matter the intent, due to it's high usage with TERFs).

(Image ID: A screenshot from an unknown Twitter user. The text reads "Lesbianism is understandable because men are trash. Gayness is fair because trash like trash. Bisexual = greedy. Trans = mental illness. All the others.. nonsense". End ID)

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, a *LOT* of Exclusionists I've seen are also incredibly ableist and racist as well.

Many Exclusionists claim that some queer groups harm neurodivergent folks and POC, but... are we *really* sure about that?

(Image ID: A Twitter post from user "annadoescare". The screenshot is taken in dark mode. The text reads "i don't care about your mental illness. it's not my problem. stop making up these genders that embarrass the lgbt". End ID)

(Image ID: Two tweets from two users with usernames blocked out in red and yellow respectively. The screenshot is taken in dark mode. The first tweet reads "There are lesbians who like men. There are lesbians who are men. There are lesbians who are straight. There are lesbians who are bisexual. There are all this and more". The second tweet reads "This is why I hate autistics". End ID). ...Excuse me but what the actual FUCK. /neg

(Image ID: A Tumblr comment from user "trans-wojak". The text reads "being racist towards whites won't change slavery" with an analog winking emoji at the end. End ID). Straight up eugenics, TERFism or both? You decide! (I'm also slightly convinced this person has internalized ableism as well, but that's not really my say).

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from user "posttraumaticspacelesbian-blog". Part of text has been blocked out with red. The text reads "as a disabled womon i would like to point out that all disabled men should b k ed" End ID.)

Some will also compare some queer groups to arguably worse shit. Exhibit A:

(Image ID: A post from Twitter user "sinboundhaibane" in dark mode. The text reads "new poem: bi lesbianism is a fascist dogwhistle eat my shit". End ID). Exhibit B:

(Image ID: A post from Tumblr user "postmodern-baseball". The text reads "cops aren't class traitors, nonbinary lesbians are." End ID) And there's a SHITTON more too. But I could never do it justice in this post, especially with TERFs. Now, before you exclusionists come at me with "But NOT ALL OF US ARE LIKE THAT!" or "Inclusionists do this too!" First off, I am fully aware that inclusionists are guilty of some of these as well, which is why I don't use the inclusionist label. But that's besides the point, I don't care if you're not like the folks in this post. I don't care if not every exclusionist is like this. THIS is what Exclusionism promotes. THIS is what Exclusionism encourages. Exclusionism is always going to encourage harassment and infighting. No matter how civil you are, no matter how "chill" you are, no matter how "nice you are, it doesn't matter in the end. By excluding other queer folks from queer spaces, you are actively condoning harassment. No, I don't want to hear any excuses. Exclusionism has and always will be harmful to other queer communities. Still don't believe me? Here's some videos that show and explain the exact same thing, as well as some other educational videos thrown into the mix. Transmedicalism: An Investigation. Breaking my Silence on Kalvin Garrah: Part One, Part Two , Part Three. Inside a Cult: A Series about Gender Criticals. Why is Queer Discourse so Toxic?

Addressing my "Lesbophobia" - A Rant about Mspec Lesbian Exclusionism.

What are TERFs?

The problem with Radical Feminism.

And of course, here's my Mspec Lesbian Exclusionism analysis post.

[cangrellesteponme]

NOVEMBER 3RD - NEEDED ADVICE

(read this on AO3 here)

dadbastian week day six! the penultimate entry, already?

this one is... there is not much going on. one of my sillier renditions of sebastian being an idiot in agni's vicinity, essentially.

in which sebastian asks a good friend for help when his young master gives him the cold shoulder.

enjoy!

When his friend opens the door, Sebastian doesn’t give himself any time to back out of this — it is not quite a matter of life or death, but being inherently exempt from both, he feels that the situation is dire enough to warrant the same kind of attention.

“Mr. Agni, I need your help.”

“Mr. Sebastian, is it nice to see you… alone? How unusual. Is your young master—”

“He is well,” Sebastian immediately cuts in. “I… have been dismissed for the day.”

Agni stares at him in disbelief, but after a few seconds — long enough for Sebastian to feel uncomfortably seen, scrutinised, and dissected — he seems to accept it as the truth it is.

“…I assume this has something to do with your visit, then.”

No time like the present. “He is terribly mad at me.”

The following silence is awkward in a way that forces Sebastian to interpret it as a call for further explanation.

“And this wouldn’t usually be a problem, especially since he doesn’t ask anything of me that interferes with my duties as his butler, or the oaths that bind me to him.”

Silence, again. Sebastian thinks Agni looks very unimpressed with the formal, impersonal phrasing he chose, so he adapts.

“…But I don’t like it.”

This is going to be difficult, Agni thinks. Though he holds a particular fondness for his friend, the theatrics of his constant bickering with the earl are migraine-inducing on a good day. It has only gotten worse as he has grown warmer and more affectionate towards the boy — which is going about as well as it possibly can, so terribly. 

Not for the first time since he met him, Agni wishes Sebastian could be less obtuse.

“The first step to redeem yourself in his eyes is quite simple, my friend.”

Silence stretches between them as Sebastian merely watches Agni realise very few things are quite simple when it comes to his… social relations. To his credit, he does get back on track quite fast.

“If you’ve truly done wrong, then an apology is in order. Reassure him of your intent to do better in the future, and hopefully he will believe and forgive you.”

“I have already tried that, actually.”

“Ah. I must say I’m glad to see so much personal growth, even if it apparently hasn’t gone too well?”

“He refuses to hear a single word from me, and insists on having me dismissed as soon as the bare minimum of my work is done.”

Sebastian does not want to think about what he must look like right now, defeated and resigned by a moody child’s refusal to talk. Part of him knows it is understandable to feel this way, as this is not any child, but one he would almost dare to consider his, but most of his thoughts revolve around the sheer ridicule of the situation.

Agni gives him an undoubtedly pitying look and Sebastian feels a bit like a wounded, confused animal. Something small, with a fast heartbeat. The thought gives a warm tinge to his embarrassment.

“What you need is a peace offering,” Agni eventually says, in that light and clear tone of his that means he wants Sebastian to listen and learn. “Of course you’ll run into closed doors if you make no effort to open them.”

“…Are you recommending bribery, of all things? I thought I’d never see the day.”

“Not bribery, no, it’s… extending an olive branch, of sorts,” Agni corrects, though he looks somewhat flustered at the accusation. “The ideal branch being something that he likes, but cannot have without you providing.”

“There is not much he can get without me, really.” Surprisingly easy. Do all emotional problems come with odd but simple solutions?

“...Right. One of these days, you and I are going to have a talk about that.”

As that sounds particularly unpleasant, Sebastian immediately starts coming up with ideas instead.

Eventually, they come to agree that Sebastian should bake whatever sugary monstrosity his young master likes the most. Agni watches with no small amusement as Sebastian stands, and almost reaches for his coat, but seems to remember something. After blinking slowly at the clock for a few seconds, he turns back to Agni, looking most contrite.

“I am also essentially banned from the manor for the next… six hours, still.”

Agni sighs. How does such a small child hold grudges so fiercely?

He truly considers ignoring his own morals and being unhelpful for the sake of having a peaceful day. However, his exasperation is far outweighed by his fondness and sympathy for his friend, who is in clear need of a helping hand — despite his… rather intense love for cats, Sebastian reminds Agni of a dog left in the rain on most days. So, he decides to provide.

“…You may stay and use the kitchen here, if you’d like.”

As Sebastian returns to the manor, his steps are light with the feeling of a job well done.

Even though the “cake” would be better described as a condensed block of all kinds of chocolate, he knows it is to the earl’s taste — as in, too sweet to be reasonable — and will please him greatly.

When, at last, nothing but a door stands between him and his young master, he can’t help but think of the incredible irony of feeding delicacies to the boy who essentially is his very own chocolate cake. It is a ridiculous thought. Perhaps the hunger is getting to his head.

(It would be more accurate to say it has been getting to his head for more than a handful of years now, and these days he can’t quite distinguish the ache of hunger pains from his newfound yearning. Not that it will matter, in the end.)

Sebastian cautiously knocks. No answer.

“I’ve come with cake. Your favourite, specifically.”

“...Come in.”

Naturally, the child is still mad despite the cake, as these things take time. However, the offering is enough for Sebastian to be given back the right to stay by his side as usual, and that is more than enough.

The relief he feels makes Sebastian understand his boy’s love for all things sweet.

[kepnerandavery]

ppl seam to forget that Frannie was the one who wanted a baby she literally said it to Micheal when they're walking around after he comes back from India.

Also this is not related to anything but can people please stop spamming the Michael Stirling tag with Stuff about Michaela... like tag properly guys please... Especially since they all hate Michael so much how about they just stop talking about him altogether and simply talk about Michaela! make a tag for her and stick to it. It's also very much a way to keep discourse away from both sides!

Let us book readers have the Michael Stirling we enjoy and love and let us talk about him in the Michael Stirling tags.

And you all who love the changes and are excited for Michaela have her and talk about her in the Michaela Stirling tag.

This way if anyone wished to not see the other they can simply block the tag and save everyone a lot of drama and trouble.

You are so right anon! People act like Fran was a naive teenager that was so easily swayed by everything. She had more conviction and common sense than they give her credit for. And the same people make Michael out to be some predator that brainwashed Fran when she was the one who initiated their first kiss and gave him the green light to finally pursue his feelings for her after YEARS of respecting her marriage to John, her grief, privacy, and boundaries. This was a man who was desperately in love with her, wanted to marry her, and give her children which she deeply yearned for. He didn't do anything that she didn't want or was unaware of. And he wouldn't have even dreamed of those things if she wasn't clearly interested in him.

And you said exactly what I've been thinking about the back and forth arguments in the tag. This new instant Michaela fandom needs to conduct their celebrations in their own space and leave us alone to process our shock and grieve in peace. The Michael Stirling/franchael tag is now the book fan's space.

They can easily create a new ship name and leave us be. They keep trying to make everyone forget Michael and get on board with this change as if we are signing petitions to have this new character removed. Idk if others are, but I certainly am not going to those lengths to make the showrunner include Michael in the show when it's clear that they used him for a half arsed woke agenda. It's kinda clear this was the bare minimum the writers did for representation. If they truly cared about representation, they would have created an original female character to end up with Fran so that the people who asked to see that representation could enjoy that without all this drama.

It's so crystal clear that the creators of this show don't give a damn about its fans. So I'm quite relieved that Michael will not be in this show cause I've been kinda hoping that he wouldn't anyway because he will be ruined by these writers if he were. Now we can keep the untainted/idealistic book version of him forever cause some adaptations can't do justice to fictional men anyway.

[kyouka-supremacy]

(person whose tags you reblogged on that ask about the anime here lol) I think what a lot of Bones defenders don't seem to realize is that this isn't just a case of us whining because we don't get what we want, like us complaining about like "they didn't draw this panel Exactly How It is In The Manga, how dare they!!!", we're not being nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking; these kinds of supposedly minor complaints probably wouldn't bother me in another show, because no adaptation is perfect and there will always be differences in how the panels are adapted, but in specifically BSD it bothers me because of the bigger picture, which is the fact that all of these tiny blunders are a direct result of them not understanding what kind of series BSD is and the tone and feelings each scene in the manga is meant to convey -- they see it as a shounen and adapt it as such, like you said. It's not about these moments in of themselves that are the problem, but because there's SO MANY of them, and they all add up, and they speak to the aforementioned much larger problem. I also just think that's kind of ignorant to just act like a season(s) with a downgrade in art quality, so many reused frames and animations, and disturbingly long static frames sometimes is in any way acceptable as a finished product??? This isn't about me and what I want, this is about the fact that they CLEARLY suffered to get this out and that is NOT OKAY. THERE ARE SO MANY GLARING PRODUCTION ISSUES (have been since season 3) AND THAT IS NOT OKAY. Not for the people who were forced to work on it, not for BSD as a story, and not for Asagiri and Harukawa! And not for the fans either, of course, but I emphasize the first three the most. It's just pure laziness and greed on the part of the Bones higher-ups who wanted it to be like this, and that will never be acceptable, for anyone. The quality of the anime has been significantly better the last few episodes (literally the instant Akutagawa kicked the bucket...) — by which I mean, they're doing the bare minimum for an adaptation, which is better than they usually do! — but I sure couldn't tell you why...! It's left me ecstatic, happy, and excited to watch lately, which is such a relief from constant sadness, outrage, and feeling insulted, but that still doesn't change the fact that it should have been this good THIS WHOLE TIME, and that there's absolutely NO REASON other episodes had to be sacrificed for the better ones: they should have been given enough time to do all of it justice (again, as much justice as Bones can ever do with BSD lol, but still. Season 2 is still so dear to me for a reason, and it's not just because of the nostalgia I have from watching it in 2016). Sorry for rambling more about this in your inbox asldjgflds, but tl;dr I just feel like our complaining comes across as bitching about scenes not being a perfect 1-to-1 panel recreation to a lot of people, when it's so much more than that — it's about BSD as a whole not getting the treatment it really, truly deserves, and how heartbreaking that is to see. It is heartbreaking to me to see how much Asagiri apparently loves the anime, from what he said at Anime Expo, when his story deserves so, so much better than he seemingly is even aware of. And I will always give Bones due credit when they've earned it, like I have the last few weeks, so I'm not even always constantly ragging on them, but even that praise comes with the caveat of "there's no explanation for why the quality is suddenly better now, or why it's so inconsistent in general, and I shouldn't even have to praise it so much, because this level of quality should be a given."

Yeah I agree that Bones has repeatedly demostred a very faulty understanding of the manga tone and even of the themes it carries on– even though there's also a chance that the shift in tone was intentional. They saw that undemanding shonen sold better than seinen (which may now seem easy to disprove, but the same probably wasn't as evident back in 2015 when the bsd anime was announced), so they made the marketing choice to declinate bsd so that it could cater to a shonen audience too, and stuck with that decision. That would make sense although in the end, as you said, it resulted in a series that feels deeply disconnected in tone and themes to its original, all while the narrated events stay the same.

I do wholeheartedly agree that if you need so many reused frames and to resort to static frames that drag on for several dozens of seconds, then your season simply isn't ready for release. C'mon, seriously, an original op and ending are the bare MINIMUM. The only reason why they didn't postpone the season release is greed. Not to mention (very much needed to mention), it's harmful for the animators twice: on one hand, because it necessarily puts them under a lot of stress and overworking conditions in order to churn out an entire season in such a short timespan; but I also feel like we shouldn't overlook the other aspect that is just... How extremely saddening and disheartening it is to not be able to dedicate the time you'd want to your art product, and seeing it published in a way that looks rushed and unfinished. I think it's important to acknowledge the frustration animators are likely to experience when that happens, especially because most times it's people who love their job of artist and of course work hard so that the result is the best it can be. But yeah the thing is: it's important - no matter how unpleasant - to say, it's not okay, because otherwise a low quality product is only going to become the norm.

I agree there was a noticeable quality improvement in the last three episodes (4-6), and I may be wrong, but I think it's reasonable to believe it's because the first three episodes had to be prepared in advance in order to be ready for the pre-screening that took place on the 8th of July in Japan. That may explain why the later episodes have been so much better compared to the first three: they simply had more time to work on them, and it's possible they're keeping working on the episodes even as they're airing. But I do agree... It's very saddening to see. Like of course, I agree, I *AM* happy the last episodes have been good (the last one was especially enjoyable!), but there really is that big ache given by thinking about what the Fukuchi vs. sskk fight could have been if only it was given the time and care it deserved. Sigh. It was just a very unfortunate coincidence for everyone, because, bias aside, it was really a pivotal moment in the whole manga... I mean. C'mon. Atsushi is the protagonist, but is yet again not treated as one because of, once again, marketing choices. It's a bit saddening. With season 4, I was dreading for when the season would have ended; with season 5 I regretfully must admit that I found myself again and again just hoping it would end already. Because even now that the animation has improved significantly, I can't stop thinking of what episode three should have been - what it had the right to be, as no less important than any other episode -, and I feel like my enjoyment of the season is just ruined.

One last note, and I know it's not what you meant when referring to panel-by-panel adaptations, and feel free to consider this my own pet peeve, but. Studios should be able to notice when they're working with the most iconic panel of the entire manga and should treat it accordingly. I'm cool and chill but what they did to the chapter 88 Akutagawa panel is unforgivable and I will resent them forever because of it.

[ninetiescoppola]

SINGLE, SO WHAT?

A few months ago I went to my long term orthodontist. I have known her since I was fourteen, we gossip and tell stuff about our lives, just girls being girly. But this time that I left her office I almost had a little stroke for two things, one because she said “you must be really sad without a boyfriend” and the second was because I would have to wear braces again. I didn’t say a word, just nodded my head (for both phrases). On my way home I started to think: when a relationship could save me from my depression? 

My whole life I never had a healthy relationship. At first I thought that the problem was me, but then a few months apart I could see the awful and ugly truth (and when I say ugly I mean literally). When I look back and see those old mistakes I get chills, feel immediately nauseous and have a little voice in my head saying “what the hell were you thinking?”, but then the same thing happens over and over again every year, it’s like a cycle with no end. This year I decided that something had to change, so I chose celibacy… Or almost. Just a short break from men. Not having a crush on somebody is the most amazing feeling in the world. I feel that I could make the new Miss Dior commercial just to show how light and fresh I am. 

I kinda feel guilty for never having a serious boyfriend. I'm always so delusional and sensitive about everything that I totally ignore the walking red flags. It's like I was blind to all the bad traits and only be able to see things that you find fantastic at first, but then you realize that it was the bare minimum and you feel like a complete idiot for the rest of your life. I remember that this happened with my first boyfriend. I was a fifteen year old freshman in high school and we had the same classes. If the time machine were created today I would turn back just to slap myself on the face several times until my younger self gives up the idea of dating that creep. Oh, I forgot to tell the story… In summary, we dated for two months and he lied, cheated, treated me like shit and humiliated me in front of my friends. Turns out that actually he was dating my best friend at the time who moved from Chile. I found that out a few weeks later after we broke up on a facebook post. I felt crushed. For months I thought that was my fault because I wasn’t good, pretty or smart enough to be his girlfriend. And one day I realized that life took back something that clearly wasn’t good for me. It was not worth it. I had to get through all of that shit to see how amazing I was. A year after they broke up too. 

As I said before, I have always been a delulu or a Charlotte York kind of girl. I don't know if it's because I have too much pisces on my birth chart or if it's because I'm just a f-ing fool. Always idealizing the perfect guy with the perfect traits and the perfect personality. I understand that everyone has flaws but why does life keep sending me people with JUST flaws? C’mon universe I expected more from you!

After a while, I stopped searching for the ideal guy and started focusing on myself. All those years being a men's carpet I had decided that a makeover would be perfect: eight hours in a hairdresser’s salon, thousands of bucks on clothes and lots of skincare products later, I became a new person. And then I found my true perfect match: a credit card.

Having a boyfriend is really nice, but enjoying your own company and not owing nothing to anyone can be truly fantastic. I had to learn that the hardest way. Every weekend I enjoy a very caloric treat, sit my big ass on the couch and watch a movie or a whole season of a TV show in a row. After all, I rather suffer for not being some hot actor’s girlfriend than suffer for a stupid asshole who is proud to think that having a dick is a sign of dignity (hot boyfriend of the month: Nicholas Chavez).

[transpersian]

I don't really blame you for trying to give Annie a chance in the past. I think your generosity and willingness to be open-minded got fucked over and taken advantage of big time by her. But if I may push back a little on something?

I think it's actually kind of important not to validate her claims of having POCD. It's not doing any favors to people who actually struggle with that. While I don't personally have this that specific subtype of OCD myself, I do have moral scrupulosity OCD and there is enough overlap that it just... does not sit right with me.

Annie has credible accusations of endangering and preying on minors. Even if she wants to backpeddle on admitting to being a MAP, she has facilitated other MAPs in being able to do harm. I've known people with POCD, and they do not do these things. They're irrationally terrified of somehow accidentally harming kids in such a way, to the point that most activately avoid talking to or being around them at all.

Morality-based OCD is driven by feelings of guilt at its core. Annie doesn't seem to feel guilt about anything she's done. All she does is beckpeddle and find ways to blame other people for her fucked up her actions. There's zero accountability.

I read the entire article she wrote after her confession to being a MAP was leaked. All it did was make her look worse. Infact, she admits several paragraphs after her POCD claim that everything she'd written up to that point (presumably including the POCD claim) was a cover story, and then changed the narrative to saying that the 19y/o Nazi pedophile she was friends with just convinced her she was a MAP. And she conveniently only realized this after said friend turned on her and leaked the confession.

I don't buy it. The whole thing is a load of bullshit and half-truths/outright lies, like everything else she writes. I believe she's a pedophile who has endangered kids. And frankly, I don't think resisting urges to molest and rape kids deserves any special credit anyway?? It's not "strong and brave", it's the bare minimum of human decency. She doesn't get a special medal for that, no matter what she's been through in the past.

I support truly non-offending pedophiles being able to get real help without persecution, but this shit is why I will never trust someone who calls themselves a MAP even if they claim to be "non-offending". Using a label meant to make being a pedophile sound less bad, and seeking out others like them to congregate into online communities and discuss their depraved fantasies - that isn't seeking help. It's irresponsible at best and outright dangerous at worst.

Sorry for the big rant, but yeah. Fuck you, Annie like actually. You're a disgusting person.

Thank you for your thoughtful perspective, anon. There’s a reason I removed the POCD bit from my final draft: I learned more about it and realized I’d been wrong.

The image she’d convinced me of at the time may have fit that label in some ways, but what I’ve learned since… well, let’s just say that the idea of it being a “support group” sort of environment rapidly faded. I can’t even imagine what it’s turned into at this point, considering what she’s become publicly. Her BlueSky account alone… ugh.

Honestly, I’ve never read that second article. By that point, my connection to her was already tangential and I was busy with my own situation. I don’t doubt your conclusions, though, and I respect and appreciate the fact that you took the time to properly check out her side of the story.

And I agree: fuck you, Annie. Completely.

I regret ever giving my good faith to someone like you.

Trust me, it won’t happen again.

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

I think in terms of not accepting his sexuality, yes, his parents caused him a lot of pain but they weren't unloving or toxic like Elton John's parents (his parents were truly terrible). Putting their archaic mindsets about his sexuality aside, they were supportive of their son's choice to pursue music as they attended the band concerts when they were first starting out and kept contact with their son throughout most of his life. I think he realized they were religious and old fashioned and would never see homosexuality as normal, but it's not like they ever disowned him. I also think had he lived, he would have probably come out to his mother after his father passed way. Freddie's relationship with this parents is quite nuanced but I do think they genuinely loved him and he loved them (unlike some other parents with their gay children : (

I think it's the situation many gay people have to find a way to cope with, that their parents are bigoted against them, but they still love them, and come to accept the absolute bare minimum of, "well, at least they haven't disowned me, I just need to hide my true self from them" because they still want a parental bond. It's sad, and we have no idea if Freddie ever would've come out to them. I mean, he didn’t when he was literally on his death bed, so I kind of doubt it. Freddie's feelings about his parents were his to have, and he was in his right to feel that way, but I don't have a problem with not giving them much credit for just not disowning their son tbh. Freddie had a history of trying to see past people mistreating him because he didn't want to lose them, too

[artsyallouette]

Evidence Louise Cherry is capable of being loyal to her friends:

Obviously, we know that Miss Cherry has backstabbed most of the people in Station House 4. She's turned on them to get an inside scoop, acknowledged that she's printing what will sell without considering the lives on the other side, and has wholeheartedly endorsed ideas such as Station 4 helping to frame a man for murder to cover up Murdoch's alleged mistake, and full-on printed and supported the theory of Murdoch being a murderer. She talks shit behind everyone's backs, and she generally seems incapable of loyalty.

With two exceptions.

The first is to her ex, George Crabtree. He tells her that he basically wrote the entirety of Julia and Murdoch's investigation handbook since they're both hopeless authors, and she responds by essentially blackmailing them into giving him better credit. I cannot recall if she actually has to resort to blackmail or if they decide on their own, however, it is clear that's her intention after their talk. She does this because even though there is bitterness and tension between her and Crabtree, he's still willing to take her seriously, both as a journalist and a person.

The second, and to me, most important, is to Llewellyn Watts. Watts joined Station 4 after much of the drama which led to the others being unwilling to work with or listen to Miss Cherry, and therefore, despite being curt when he knew better than to give her a quote, he treated her with respect and listened to her theories and concerns, every time she came into the station. She reciprocates this respect and loyalty often, but perhaps most notably is during the escape room episode of season 14. Watts is mourning the loss of his relationship with Jack after his shop was vandalised and he decided to take up the offer of a sham marriage rather than continue his affair with Watts, and Cherry catches onto how heartsick Watts is almost immediately. She clearly notices the way Watts avoids the butcher shop which was just vandalised with homophobic slurs, steals longing, bitter glances at Jack Walker, and when he eventually does tell Cherry the name of the 'lady' who left him, there is an audible pause between 'Jack' and 'Lynn,' as he tries to pass Jack off as a woman named Jaqueline.

All of this would make an exquisite story for her. An exposé on a gay detective in the Toronto Constabulary? Her articles would sell out, she would likely be promoted. All she would have to do is ruin someone's life, and she seems to do this all the time.

But she doesn't. She pieces together all the clues in Watts's story, realises he's talking about the loss of a relationship with another man, and not only resolves not to print it, but never calls him on it once.

Louise Cherry does a lot of bad things to a lot of people we're led to believe are good. But she doesn't sell out the people who are truly in her corner.

Edit: Obviously I know that not outing a gay man in a city-wide newspaper is the bare minimum of respect, but this is the early 1910s when homosexuality is still considered 'gross indecency' and people could be fired just for knowing a coworker was gay and not reporting it. Opinions around homosexuality were vastly different in Canada than they are today, and her not writing the story is not only an act of loyalty in not using his secret to further her career, but also, a show that she accepts and respects this aspect of him, which was not commonly accepted at the time.

[starw1sh]

please stop posting web weaving without citing the quotes and pictures you're including!!

If you originally came across the quote or picture unattributed, it's typically very easy to find the source. For quotes, if you type in the text into Google bracketed by a quotation mark on both sides (for example, if you were trying to find the infamous Richard Siken quote you would type in: "Someone has to leave first this is a very old story") you can typically find the source!

Finding the source is great, because you should also read the quote in context! Not only is this an awesome way to discover new poetry/music/etc, but it's also a way to filter out quotes that aren't appropriate for your theme.

Maybe the quote you found seems PERFECT for your favorite ship. But when you read it in context of the rest of the source material, it's actually about the author's relationship with race in America or his relationship with his abusive parents. You want to be working in conversation with the quote when you include it with a collection of other quotes/pictures/etc, but to do that you need to know what the quote is actually saying and respect the author's intended meaning. And do to that, you need to read it in context.

Now as far as pictures - photos, illustrations, shots from film, you name it - you also need to find the source. You shouldn't be reposting art from independent artists unless the artist has explicitly said that it is okay to do so. But even pictures that have wide distribution should still be credited.

I think web weaving posts can be a fun way to explore themes and topics while incorporating different types of media you find interesting and enjoy. In the same vein, it's also a great way to find new suggestions for songs, poems, books, and other pieces of art that are relevant to themes you're drawn towards. But to truly engage with these pieces of art in conversation with each other, you need to give them the bare minimum amount of respect by giving citations.