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haeryna · 11 months ago

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feeling so high but too far away to hold me ↪ gojo satoru x reader x geto suguru ;༊

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summary: satoru and suguru come to a critical conclusion, but is it too late for them to mend what was broken?

tw: angst, homophobia, abandonment, mentions of (unintentional) self harm, mentions of illness, barely proofread

notes: title taken from halsey's "without me." all images were taken from pinterest and are NOT mine! i'm not sure if i like how this came out but oh well gotta get through it lol. banner is from @/cafekitsune!

Lately, Satoru has been thinking a lot more about you.

He shouldn't be. Choso's been on his ass for stupid mistakes, like a slight misstep during practice, or the way his voice wavers ever so slightly on notes that are well within his vocal range. Nanami grumbles a bit more when recording sessions extend even further. Haibara brings him an extra water bottle during practice. Even Sukuna is slightly nicer to him, as if he can see how much Satoru is struggling.

Satoru hates it. It makes him feel weak, because he knows now that he misses you more than his heart can bear. He has women throwing themselves at him left and right, so why does a girl from a town he left behind make something in his chest twist? By all accounts, Satoru is thriving. He has a wonderful relationship with his boyfriend, his boy group has broken record after record with each single they release, and Satoru has just signed onto a brand deal with Chanel.

(He knows you're not just a girl, you were his. The only person he could bear to share Suguru with, the only person who could see past his flirtatious facade and say, "It's okay, 'Toru, I'm here for you." He knows the reason why he forces himself to believe you would have only shunned him like his parents, is to run from the realization that he abandoned you in the most horrific way possible.)

It doesn't help that his managers handle all of his social media accounts, and go through all his mail. As soon as him and Suguru signed onto the same agency, their phone lines were decommissioned, and they were given highly protected personal phones. You wouldn't be able to reach him even if you wanted to. Hell, they barely even saw Shoko, and the only reason was because they were both the only people who trusted her to take care of their medical needs.

Suguru had tried, once, to ask about you, to get a way of contacting you. Shoko had looked him dead in the eyes, steel hidden behind soft brown, and told him that, "if you were just going to abandon her like that, at least have the decency to stay gone until they could commit to her fully." The way Suguru's face had paled only confirmed the worst for Satoru; you hadn't understood. You had seen their leaving as the worst kind of betrayal. Shoko had refused to tell them more, stubborn in her loyalty to you.

At first, it was easier to hide shame behind a kind of disdain. Of course you hadn't understood what it had been like, being rejected so violently by parents you once loved. Of course you hadn't understood what it was like to feel the noose tighten around your neck until you knew you would either run, or die. Maybe if you couldn't let them go, it meant you truly had never loved them anyways.

As the months grew, slowly and surely, the tangle of excuses unraveled. You might not have understood, but you had defended him silently in small rebellious ways. The eyeshadow palette that still sat at his vanity. The birthday card you'd made him when you turned 14, with a small rainbow under the phrase "I'll love you no matter what." You too had felt the noose; you'd spent years fighting it, fighting your hatred of the small town you were forced to grow up in. "Satoru, Suguru, Shoko," you would tell them, "one day we'll all move out of here into the nicest, fanciest apartment in the city."

Grief was love with nowhere to go, and in that particular moment, Satoru found your absence particularly painful. Sighing, he stretches, resting his chin on the back of the couch to stare at the clock. 12:36; Suguru was probably still awake. Quietly, Satoru pads to the spare room in the apartment he shares with Suguru that they'd converted into their music and production room. Unsurprisingly, he finds Suguru perched on an old barstool they thrifted, gently strumming the strings of the guitar you'd gifted him so long ago.

"Satoru," Suguru says softly, pausing. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be asleep by now."

Wordlessly, Satoru wraps his arms around him, nuzzling into the slope of his neck. After a few moments, he speaks.

"I miss her."

He can feel the way Suguru stiffens slightly in his arms, before exhaling, tension releasing from his shoulders. "I miss her too. I've been thinking, Satoru."

"That's dangerous for you," Satoru chides, and Suguru rolls his eyes fondly.

"You're such a brat. I've been thinking, what if we went back?"

Satoru blanches, staring at Suguru. "What?"

"Not permanently," Suguru hastily amends, knowing how deep Satoru's scars run. "Just enough to...I don't know, Satoru. We messed up really badly. I know there's a large chance she won't even be there anymore. She used to always tell us about how she couldn't wait to move to the city. But we can at least start there, right?"

The news of Satoru's hiatus caused enough ripples for even you to notice it. Despite the fact you avoided anything to do with both his and Suguru's music career, every news outlet, radio channel, and social media post had something to say about it. Hell, you couldn't even open the local newspaper without seeing his face plastered on it, lamenting his temporary break from the group's next comeback.

Frowning, you slam the kitchen cabinet door a bit harder than necessary. Why should you care? If anything, you should be gloating with this piece of information, that not everything was perfect in Gojo Satoru's idol career. Yet, a small part of you still worried. Was he eating alright? Did something happen to Suguru? Should you call Shoko?

The door chimes, startling you out of your thoughts. Your parents are back in the hospital undergoing another round of treatments but they could have came back early. Sighing, you walk over to the door, opening it without a second thought.

"Hi, what-"

In that moment, you feel several emotions. Regret, that you hadn't checked who it was before opening it. An odd blend of concern and fear; why had they come back, was something horribly wrong? Most overpoweringly, was the deep sense of anger that welled up inside of you, seeing both Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru standing on your doorstep.

"You're here," Sator- Gojo, breathes, crystalline blue eyes greedily drinking in the sight of you. He reaches for you, but you flinch back.

"What are you doing here?"

You're surprised to see that Gojo seems hurt by that statement. Sugu- Geto steps closer. "We wanted to see you."

"Oh, so a whim?" You can't help the harshness of your voice, or the way that your voice trembles ever so slightly. "Its been years, Geto. Five years since you left, and you come back now? What am I, just an afterthought? I already knew that but my god you're such an asshole."

"That's not what I'm saying," Geto sighs, and you want to throttle him. "We missed you so much, I can't even-"

You can't help but cut him off, fists clenched and hot tears pooling in your eyes. "You could have left a note. You could have left me an address, could have reached out once you settled in, anything!"

It's Gojo's turn to speak, hands fidgeting as if he wants to pull you close. "Our managers-"

"I don't care!"

A hush falls after your outburst, and you can't help the tears that slip down your cheeks. "Did I really mean that little to you? I would have left with you, I would have done anything for you, so don't you dare try to come up with an excuse. Don't try to tell me that your managers stopped you. I loved you." Your voice breaks. "How could you?"

Both men look ashamed. Geto is the first to speak. "We thought you would have moved away. We lost our original numbers, and Shoko refused to-"

Your eyes flash. "Don't try to blame Shoko for this. Unlike the two of you, she stayed with me."

Gojo flinches. "That's not fair. We didn't have a choice, why can't you see that?"

A sardonic laugh escapes your lips. "See what? All I see is the choice you made in leaving me behind."

"What happened to you?" Geto breathes, and you fight the urge to slap him. "You were so adamant that you would get out of this town."

"Well I can't," you hiss. "Not all of us can abandon their loved ones without a second thought."

Gojo's face looks like you've just shattered his world. "You never left?"

Something in the way he says that breaks something inside of you. "Mom and Dad have whatever Grandmother had," you tell them. You're not even sure why you're saying this, but there's a sick sense of pleasure in watching it start to sink in. "There's nobody else to help take care of them. Whenever she can, Shoko will try her best to stop by."

"You've been alone," Geto murmurs, horrified.

Venom fills your mouth. "I have been since I was sixteen, thanks for asking. You think I didn't notice that you two were together? You never even said anything to me and I still figured it out." Gojo's face pales but you plow forward. "It was always Satoru and Suguru, Gojo and Geto, but what about me? I was there too, wasn't I?" Blood drips down your palms; you're digging your nails in hard enough to cut. "You two forgot about me. You discarded me, left me behind. Did you really think so little of me? Did you really think I would treat you like everyone else in this town?" You can see the pain in Geto's eyes. "As if it wasn't enough, I had to see you everywhere. It's nice seeing how quickly both of you replaced me with other women."

Gojo calls your name but you shake your head, vision blurring. "Go fuck yourself, both of you. Don't talk to me. I wish you'd never come back." Whirling back inside, you slam the door, ignoring the frantic banging and shouts. As you sink to the floor, you finally allow yourself to sob, curled up against the solid wood doorframe. I thought it was over, you think miserably. But somehow it hurts more than the day they left.

#haerinwrites #idol!satoru gojo #rockstar!suguru geto #satoru gojo x reader #satosugu x reader #suguru x reader x satoru #suguru geto x reader #geto x reader #gojo x reader #jjk angst #satoru x reader #suguru x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x you

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laenordeservedbetter · 2 years ago

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For Sam x reader.

Ghostface is back and had followed the Carpenters, the twins, and Amber's older sister, Reader, to New York. No one trusting her because of the fact that her little sister was Ghostface, Reader is in disbelief, and Sam breaks up with her on the spot. Fast forward to the end, where Ghostface is dead, everyone's being treated by paramedics, Reader is seen walking away from the scene alone. Kirby asks where she is, Sam then sees her walking away, holding her broken arm to her body, and runs after her and apologies for not trusting and believing her. (Reader saying it's too late for sam to apologize. She then walks away from her friends, from Sam.)

You're Somebody Else

Words: 1.4k

Pairing: Samantha Carpenter x Fem!Freeman!Reader

Synopsis: You were told that the biggest betrayal comes from the people you care about the most, but never did you expect it to hurt so much.

Warnings: scream vi spoilers, violence, spitting, cussing, angst, no happy ending. lmk if I missed any.

A/N: I wrote this at a coffee shop. I'm still here rn, so we'll see how many fics I can post before I go home. (This will probably be the only one)

not my gif. || masterlist || previous work

You stood before Amber’s Ghostface outfit, reaching out to touch the fabric before you remembered where you were -- who you’re with. The glares given to you by the rest of the group burned at the back of your skull. You can practically sense their judgments. Since the first Ghostface attack in New York, they pointed their fingers at you. You understood, given what you've all been through. Can't be too careful. You didn’t care that you saw the contempt on your own girlfriend’s face. You stayed by her side, understanding where she was coming from.

Being related to a previous Ghostface was something you and Sam had in common. When you are linked to a person with that track record, it sticks with you even if you are different from them. Trust becomes hard to give. And out of everyone, you figured your girlfriend is the one who understood the most about what it’s like. However, it looks like the sentiment isn’t shared.

She approaches you, getting the courage to ask, “Can we talk?”

You can tell what’s about to happen before Sam can utter what she wants to say to you.

Nothing good ever comes out of conversations like these.

“I’m sorry.” Sam stares, her gaze cold, nothing like the Sam you fell in love with. With each deafening step she takes away from you, your heart shatters just a little bit more. You are wounded by the way she’s looking at you. Any wound or injury you might sustain in the next few minutes will not compare to the poison laced in the invisible knife held against your throat by the woman you love. “I can’t take any more chances. I can’t trust you. We’re done.”

You scoff, glancing towards the group in hopes that they would back up your claim. “Sam, you know me. I would never hurt you or Tara or. . . Anika.”

Mindy flinches at the mention of her girlfriend’s name. Her stare hardens. “You have no right to say her name. We know you did it. You killed her.”

“Mindy…” Your voice breaks as your throat feels like it’s closing up. You can’t do anything to convince them, letting the stream of tears flow from your eyes. No one came to your rescue to prove your innocence. None of them trusted you. You felt pathetic, humiliated, embarrassed. Your eyes settle on Sam again. “Really? After everything we’ve been through together, you-”

Sam glowers. “It’s over, Y/n. Please, stay away from us.”

“Fuck you.” You turn your back, the hurt in your tone clear as day. “I don’t know you at all.”

“Maybe we didn’t know each other as well as we thought.”

It was one thing for you to walk away and another knowing that Sam would not be going after you.

“It was easy luring you away from the group. Guess we really can’t choose our family, huh?” Ghostface makes a tsk sound, the voice changer turned off.

He takes a step forward, but you stay positioned adjacent to the wall. That voice…

“Ethan?”

Ethan removes his mask, holding the voice changer to his lips, “Didn’t expect that?”

Of course it was him. Little by little, the pieces fall into place. The apartment attack -- that was probably Ethan. He wasn’t with the group. Not even the skeptic Mindy questioned his whereabouts. Your tears haven’t dried yet and you were as sure as hell they weren’t going to stop now. You bring your hands together in a slow clap. “Oh, wow, that’s… Fucking brilliant, actually.” Clutching your stomach, you let out what sounded like a painful cackle. “This is the part where I die.” You say. It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“Oh no, no, no. See, that’s where you’re wrong.” Ethan smirks, gripping your left arm, applying pressure to where you had been previously injured a couple nights prior. “You are our scapegoat. I must give credit to Mindy for the idea. You have the perfect motive to be Ghostface! It was just gonna be Sam, but… The press would go crazier if it was a Bonnie & Clyde situation. Not that I care about that sorta stuff. It just works.”

You collect the saliva from your mouth, spitting in his eye. “Jokes on you ‘cause we’re not together anymore.”

“But they wouldn’t know that because by the time you get ‘caught’, all of your friends will be dead and you would look like the asshole trying to save yourself if you attempt to say the truth.”

Ethan places his free hand on your shoulder, pulling your arm with more force than necessary to guarantee that it would break. You stand there, biting your lip in order to hide the pain. If I screamed, it wouldn’t make a difference anyway, you said to yourself bitterly. There’s not a single person who’d give me the benefit of the doubt. In fact, they’d make me suffer worse, believing that Ethan did the right thing. Who knows what creative scenarios he came up with already.

The paramedics found you slumped down beside a row of chairs after Sam and the rest of the group defeated the three Ghostfaces. They wondered why you weren’t with the others, but with a quick word from Kirby, they left you alone, guiding you outside to treat your broken arm. One of the paramedics - Theo (that’s what you heard Kirby call him) asked if you wanted a ride to the hospital. You declined, insisting that you could get there yourself without anyone’s help.

You spare Sam a glance, observing her interact with Mindy, Chad, and Tara. Core Four. Good for them. Although you were glad that they are are still extant, you can’t stop the rancor that you feel as you stare at the four. You want nothing more than for this day to be over, move to someplace else, maybe change your name. Anywhere is better than here. It’s become clear to you how unwanted you are in New York. A change of scenery might do you good.

Kirby (the only person who hasn’t treated you like scum) situates herself in front of Sam, “Hey, where’s Y/n?”

Sam only notices your absence when Kirby pointed it out. “Shit. I…” She scans the area in search of your familiar eyes, guilt eating at her knowing that she accused you of being a killer. Because of that, you got hurt. She’d never forgive herself for it. “I'll be right back.”

The blonde detective nods in understanding. “I’ll stay with Tara.”

“Thank you.”

You were on your way to the hospital when a hand grasps your injured arm. Recoiling from the touch, you look back to curse the one responsible for hurting your limb only to meet Sam’s pleading gaze. “What do you want, Samantha?”

“Y/n, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for being careless, for not trusting or believing you. If I had, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.” Sam touches your good shoulder this time, expressing her genuine apology.

But no matter how many ‘I’m sorry’s’ she will direct at you, it won’t take away what’s been done. “It’s too late, Sam.”

“What? No. We can try again.” She pleads desperately.

You couldn’t bite back the words the words that are on the tip of your tongue, feeling the last ounce of self control fray away. “Try again? Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds? You broke up with me because you didn’t trust me. You didn’t even try to understand my side!” The news reporters turned their heads at your outburst. They point their cameras to you, but you don’t make an effort to cut off your ebullition short. “All of you pointed your hands at me because what? I’m the sister of a killer?! If we’re basing our suspicions of all the Ghostface’s relatives, you should’ve been on the top of the list. The only thing I asked was for you to stand by me and you failed. So, no, we can’t try again. We’ll only end up worse than where we left off.” You finish, walking away from everything (not for the first time). “I’ll get my things out of your apartment tonight. After that, you won’t have to see me again.”

Sam stays still while you leave, clutching your arm in the process. That limb will heal, but the words that Sam has spoken won’t. There will remain a constant reminder of how you were betrayed by those you would give everything for.

So much for trust.

#samantha carpenter #sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter #scream 6 #scream #mindy meeks martin #anika kayoko #ethan landry

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grifonecoronato · 3 months ago

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Hot Take: Oshamir is One-Sided

[Spoilers for The Acolyte]

Star Wars fans know that Osha and Qimir’s relationship is doomed to end tragically. The Sith is a culture that eats itself: the apprentice either kills the master and takes their place, or is killed by the master in the attempt. So even if Qimir kills Darth Plagueis (and we know this won’t happen), he’s just going to have to deal with Osha attempting to kill him one day.

(Side note: I have a sneaking suspicion that Qimir is not actually Sith, since he never calls himself one, he just says "a Jedi like you would call me, Sith." But that's a topic for another day...)

Given what I know about The Acolyte fandom, a doomed romance is hardly something we'll shy away from; we’ll revel in the tragedy of it all, and the sadder it is and the harder we hurt, the more we'll love it!

No, I want to discuss something else; something I don't think many Acolyte fans really want to acknowledge... that the “romance” as shown at the end of series is one-sided: Qimir's side. The last shot of the series implies that Qimir and Osha are ready to face the galaxy together, hand-in-hand, but...

Qimir cares for Osha; Osha does not care for Qimir.

Hey! HEY!

Put your pitchforks down and just hear me out, please!

What Qimir Desires and Fears

Qimir -- his arms muddy, his dark hair slick against his sweaty brow, holding Mae hostage with his lightsaber threatening to ignite through her skull at any moment -- explains his motivation to Sol:

"[I want] freedom: the freedom to wield my power the way I like, without having to answer to Jedi like you. I want a pupil. An acolyte."

Qimir wants acceptance and connection, to be seen and appreciated by someone else. But he mentions several times that he wants a pupil, which by definition would put him in a position of power and authority over someone else, even if it's to help build them up.

This presents an underlying contradiction in what Qimir says he wants, versus what he really wants:

Does he want an equal who sees and cares for him?

Or does he want a pupil that he can teach from a position of power?

The show leaves the answer ambiguous, but nestled in this contradiction lies Qimir's biggest fear.

Qimir fears opening up and being seen. He wears a mask to conceal his identity, but he also hides his character behind his personas: the buffoon, the nervous helper, the murderer, the teacher, the seducer...

From Qimir's point-of-view, he's been betrayed before, and that betrayal left scars...

"I was [a Jedi]. A long time ago... [...] It was a really long time ago."

...so he needs to protect himself from getting so close to someone that they harm him again.

Betrayal and Murder on Khofar

So, on Khofar, when Mae reveals that she was only ever using "The Stranger" for her own revenge, Qimir chooses to kill her.

He could have chosen to run back to his ship and let Mae rot in Jedi jail (or wherever they take murderous Force-users...), rather than risk discovery. Attacking Mae and the Jedi was not a smart move if he feared being seen. But that doesn't matter: he's Sith, and he finds strength in his emotions, including his own fear.

So, he resolved to commit murder against Kelnacca, then slay the whole Jedi posse hunting Mae, and then deal with Mae.

But here's the thing: Qimir likes to frame his actions as self-defence...

"I killed Jedi. I killed those who threaten my existence."

..but this isn't actually true, is it? He didn't need to kill Kelnacca in his home -- Kelnacca, who knew nothing about Qimir, or Indara's death, or Torbin's death, or any recent event really, and who was absolutely no threat to him -- nor didn't need to face off against the entire Jedi posse.

He chose to commit murder and engage in combat because he couldn't stand the fact that Mae used and betrayed him.

Osha Sees Through Qimir

The conversation between Qimir and Osha seems to be him slowly convincing her that the Jedi are terrible, and that she should find her own path to power.

And, of course, that he can be her guide.

After all, he answers nearly every one of her questions with a question of his own, in a kind of socratic method designed to make her question her own judgment.

All the while, Qimir uses a gentle voice and gentle touch to signal that he yearns for her, that he craves her acceptance, that he can help her if she just accept it, that she can trust him.

To make her feel safe, he even lets her hold his lightsaber...! (😏 ...ladies...!)

This seems to work since Osha is engaging him in conversation. But Osha has seen Qimir in action, and knows that there is no possible way for her to defeat him directly.

Osha has the lightsaber, but Qimir holds all the power here.

Despite that, Osha calls him out many times on his choices.

"You killed Jecki."

"You killed Yord."

"I'm not my sister. I'm not so easily corrupted."

Osha never takes her eyes off her objective: to escape Qimir, get back to Sol, and confront her sister for her crimes.

Osha's Fatal Flaw

Mae and Osha are binary opposites in their personalities and motivations. Where Mae is community-minded, Osha is independent. Where Mae values tradition, Osha values freedom. And where Mae tries to repair frayed relationships, Osha does not forgive those who cross her.

It is this last trait that proves to be the fatal flaw that leads her down the Dark Side.

Osha. Does. Not. Forgive.

When Osha first saw Mae as an adult, she shot her!

She didn't try to reason with her. She didn't try to help her escape. She didn't say "how did you survive?" or "I missed you."

She just fired.

But you know what? Maybe emotions were running high, right? The moment was very heated, so spontaneous violence like that could just be a one-off thing, surely?

Except that the second time they meet, Osha tries to arrest Mae without listening to her story.

And the third time they meet, Osha is downright raging and trying to kill Mae...

... which is a little confusing to Mae because she's trying to help Osha!

And it is Osha's inability to forgive which leads her to committing her first murder, when she finally learns that Sol had lied to her for years.

Osha falls to the Dark Side all by herself, of her own volition.

Doomed Romance

After she kills Sol, Qimir continues to use gentle touch with Osha, pursuing his seduction of her.

But when Mae asked Osha "what do you want, Osha?", she didn't reply with "I want to be with Qimir."

She said:

"Let [Mae] go, and I will train with you."

It was a bargain, for which she offered Qimir what he wanted most: a pupil who accepts him.

Osha is signalling that she cares for him. But she doesn't.

Osha cares for her sister. And Osha does not forgive.

She remembers that Jecki and Yord were her friends, and they had nothing to do with Sol's crimes. They were innocent, and he killed them when he went out of his way to engage the Jedi in combat.

Osha is playing Qimir, just as Mae did. She will learn from him to use the Force, and then take those teachings to fulfil her own goal of rescuing Mae and restoring her memories.

Qimir will learn the truth of their relationship one day, and on that day, like all Sith masters and apprentices, he will kill her, or she will kill him.

(because that is not the face of a happy couple)

#star wars #writing #the acolyte #osha aniseya #mae aniseya #storytelling #oshamir #qimir #spoilers #character analysis #amandla stenberg #manny jacinto #master sol #renew the acolyte #lee jung jae #Grown up Star Wars

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wolfiwonderer · 4 months ago

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Season 2 shows us Sahed's life is a series of cages and betrayals growing more constraining each time. That he hasn't given up is impressive (but giving up would not be in his character). Anger and magic is basically all he has to hold on to, and I think we have yet to see if his anger at Tonny was misplaced.

Cage 1: the concentration camp that he grew up in.

I'm not sure exactly how long ago this was, but I'm guessing 100 years, which means Ah'kon have not had freedom for over a century. And what's the first thing we see he's doing (other than being a cocky brat <3)? Building a flying machine to get out and see the wider world. He's enticed to leave peacefully because it comes with leaving. And so first betrayal of trust in someone offering an escape.

Cage 2: the research center. I think we'll learn a lot more about this, but clearly he started thinking about it positively, hence the happy picture. My theory is that the giant wave was made by Sahed, and when he implies he's killed before, that is the event he's referring to. We know that Steinheimer died young, but Sahed doesn't seem quite broken up about the guy. Since he says he was haunted, it just doesn't feel like that would be the haunt.

Cage 3: the circus

I think it's clear that Sahed was an addition after the circus started. For one, I can't see Sahed really confining himself the castle, but also it would be hard for him to live as a fugitive. So he manages to escape, but needs refuge and meets Tonny. Tonny promises to give him freedom from Kalgratt and that he'll support Sahed's cause. But Tonny continuously makes ill-fated promises that even a casual understanding of their situation is morally wrong. I want to write something about why I think Tonny is not good, even if he does not realize it. But suffice to say, Sahed didn't get what he thought he would get from the bargain.

Adding a cut because it rapidly passes into fast pass zone.

Cage 4: the circus but worse

Now he's alone in a cage. And when he gets out, it's not really freedom from the cage, it's just walking room. Because while in theory Tonny is going to help now, the circus is turned against him. They're morals have long seemed suspect - very selfish and disconnected with how their choices might affect people outside the circus. Sahed and Julia are really the only ones still concerned with anything outside the circus.

The third betrayal is Julia, but this is different, because he also let her down, and because he knew he was in a position of power over her. This hearkens back to when he was the leader of his group of friends and led them into the research center. He doesn't know, I think, about her 1 year limit, so he probably thinks he had even more influence on her decisions than he did. Honestly, I think he gets too much blame from others on her decision. She wanted validation that Tonny deserved it because she wants to live. But Sahed delivered when he should have realized the consequences. He feigned confidence in the plan that he didn't have. Her turning on him hurts but not in a way he can get angry at her about, although I think he has a right to be mad if she really doesn't support his takedown of the research center.

Julia can give up in a way that Sahed can't. The only person she has to save is herself, whereas he feels responsible for the Ah'kon's treatment (even if he isn't). Still, Julia and Sahed share a sense of righteousness, and I don't see meek Julia lasting.

I am totally here for the shipping too, but I really love Sahed's character. I love how we start with Sahed as a potential villain (okay we knew he wasn't but Julia def thought he was) and brat, but as we learn more about him, his motivation becomes clear as an activist -- he's still a brat (affectionate).

#marionetta #not particularly insightful for anyone who thinking about it but wanted to write down what's in my head #I just love this story and both Sahed and Julia #Glad he's becoming a viewpoint character #essay I guess #sahed marionetta

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makeitmingi · 1 year ago

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Cause Baby You're My Muse [Chapter 52]

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Music, Slight angst

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Producer!Reader, IdolLyricist!Mingi, IdolProducer!Hongjoong, Idol!Seonghwa, Idol!Yunho, Idol!Wooyoung, Idol!San, Idol!Yeosang, Idol!Jongho, cameo(s) by other celebrities

Summary: You always preferred producing underground, having an unknown face and governed by your own rules. But when you start freelancing for idol groups, you say goodbye to your lone wolf lifestyle as you learn to work with idol producers and lyricists.

Word count: 3.3K

Chapter warning(s): This is a heavy chapter. There's a lot of strong emotions, exchanges of hurt and mean words between characters, self blaming/ hating.

The one month of music show promotions had finally come to an end. While the boys were still performing the new songs and promoting the albums in other countries and concerts, today was the last music show recording.

"You've worked hard, boys. Grab your things and let's go back to the dorm." The managers said once the boys changed out of their stage costumes in the studio.

"You guys go ahead. There's something I need to do first." Mingi told them, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"What are you doing that's so secretive?" Wooyoung asked, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"I'm going to see Indigo or go to her studio, I want to give her something to surprise her." Mingi explained, mimicking the shorter's interrogative posture.

"Alright, we'll see you at home." Hongjoong nodded and waved to the tall rapper as he ushered the others to the exit.

Mingi headed down to your studio. He had something he wanted to surprise you and put on your desk. It was the photo you took as a group during the first music show win.

"Indigo?" He knocked and pressed the doorbell but there was no answer. Honestly, Mingi didn't know if you were in or not. When there was no answer, he let himself in. From the darkness, he guessed that you were not in. But when he turned on the lights, Mingi's face fell at what he saw.

Or what he didn't see.

The studio was back to it's original state. The small couch, desk and chair. There was no trace of you at all, as if you hadn't been working in there for the past few months.

"What the hell?" He frowned, feeling shock and confusion rise within him. Whatever was going on, Mingi needed to see you now.

"Taxi!" Mingi hailed a cab and told the driver to speed him back home. He didn't bother waiting for the lift and ran up the stairs to your floor.

"Baby!" He burst through your door.

"Mingi." You looked up at him like a deer caught in headlights. You called him 'Mingi'. That was when he took in his surroundings.

All your things were in boxes, the apartment practically empty. It was like you just moved in. But that was impossible. The only explanation was that you were moving out, not in. He didn't say anything, just looking around with wide eyes until his gaze fell on you.

"Baby. Tell me what's going on." He said, letting out a long, shaky breath to try and calm himself down. But right now, his brain was jumping to scary conclusions.

"I... I'm leaving, Mingi." You forced out the words.

"L-Leaving? T-To where?" Mingi took a step towards you but you kept your distance. Him being close to you would just make things harder.

"America, I got an offer... from a famous recording company there... Today... was the last day of my contract with KQ." You chewed on your bottom lip.

"T-That's great! I didn't hear you mention this at all. When are you coming back?" He asked, trying to look happy for you.

"I don't know..." You looked down. You couldn't look Mingi in the eye, knowing the hurt and betrayal he'll feel.

"Let's end things here, Mingi. It's been a good run... I... I'm grateful for the memories and moments... we shared... everything you've given me. But... this is where we end." You said, voice shaky. Taking a deep breath, you looked up to see Mingi just standing there, frozen at your words. Tears streamed down his face.

"No! No, no, no. This is not where we end. W-We'll try long distance or something. I-I'll wait, wait until you come back." Mingi argued, shaking his head.

"It won't work out, Mingi. We know that..." You wiped your tears.

"Y-You're not even going to try? Please, baby. Please." Mingi begged, choking on his sobs.

"Our jobs... will never let us be a normal couple... We'll be living in secret... It was wrong of me, from the start, to think that we could ever be something more..." You hugged yourself.

"No, don't say that!" Mingi yelled, making you flinch. You've heard Mingi yell but never at you. But truthfully, you knew you deserved it.

"You can't just p-pack up and leave. Why do you give up on us so easily? It was meant to be u-us against the world. But you're just leaving like we meant nothing, like I mean nothing to you." Mingi's words cut deep like swords.

"This opportunity-"

"Bullshit! Tell me the real reason you're leaving all of a sudden!" Mingi demanded. He refused to believe that you were doing this because of a better opportunity in another country.

"This has been the plan for a while now... I just told CEO Kim to let me stay until the last day of promotions." You gulped.

"And you didn't think to tell me? Am I the only fool here who doesn't know this?" He asked in disbelief.

"No one else knows... Not even Hongjoong... I told Eden not to mention it... I didn't want to ruin the comeback or distract anyone with my departure." You said.

"And how did that work out for you?" He spat.

"I thought... I thought y-you were different, that we had something genuine... that we shared a connection. I've never loved anyone more, I-I've never willingly gave anyone else my heart and trust. A-And you... ripped it up so easily. You..." He couldn't even finish his sentence amidst his anger and crying.

"I'm sorry." You repeatedly apologised to him.

"Stop telling me you're sorry when you don't mean it." He said. You shook your head, you did mean it. You were sorry for lying to him, betraying him and hurting him.

"I do mean it. All I'll ever do is hurt you, Mingi. I can't be the right person for you." You shook your head.

"I promise, I was going to talk about it to you. I didn't want things to get like this." You tried to tell him but you knew it was no use.

"What? You were going to tell me right as you were boarding the plane?" He scoffed.

"No, of course not." You denied. Even if you knew this would hurt you both, you wouldn't do that. Mingi deserved to hear it from you in person, not over the phone, not from someone else or not through a letter that you leave behind.

"What's the point, right? Whether I found out on my own or whether you told me, it would have still ended the same way..." Mingi's jaw clenched as he spoke words of bitterness.

"You should have just left without saying anything. It would beat whatever this is." He said.

"Mingi, this wasn't an easy decision to make... Please, it wasn't something that I decided overnight." You told him.

"You sure as hell made it look easy... The way you just... decided on your own to leave, pack up your things... Did you even think about me at all when you made all these decisions?" He asked.

"Of course!" You replied. You didn't mean to yell, you were just going to standing there and take all his berating but you couldn't help yourself.

"Did you even love me?" He whispered.

That was it. You broke down into loud sobs, sinking to the ground as you cried. This was harder than anything you've ever done before. The pain was immense, consuming you entirely. Of course you love him. You love him more than anything in the world. Mingi was now your world.

"Go. J-Just go. Y-You don't even care about me anyway." Mingi said, his voice now void of all emotion.

"I do care, Mingi." You cried.

"If you did, you wouldn't have given up on us so easily." He said, walking out the door and slamming it close. You could only watch him, stopping yourself from running after him.

"I'm sorry." You shook your head as you continued to cry, curling up into a ball on the ground.

You deserve this, you deserve for Mingi to hate you. If it kept him and everyone else safe, you would willingly be the bad guy.

Picking yourself up, you hailed a cab and went to pick Haneul up. You would be taking her to America with you since you didn't know if you would ever be back.

"Thank you for everything, ahjumma. Really. I know I can never repay all that you've done for me." You bowed deeply to her. When you straightened up, the ahjumma nodded her head. For the first time in forever, she gave you a small smile.

"It has not been easy for you." She said. Your already fragile heart broke even more as you cried. The old lady hugged you, patting your back.

"Take care of her." She whispered.

"I will. You know I will." You repeated as you cried. When you heard Haneul coming, you pulled away from the hug, turning around to wipe your tears.

"Unnie, are you okay?" Haneul stared up at you in confusion when she saw your red eyes and nose.

"Yeah, I'm fine, baby. Go say goodbye and thank you to ahjumma." You told her. She giggled and ran to hug the old lady.

"Be a good girl and listen to your sister." The ahjumma patted Haneul's butt, kissing the top of her head. You grabbed Haneul's bag in one hand, the other holding her hand. With another deep, grateful bow, you walked with Haneul out of there. It was expensive but you took another cab back home.

Your phone was ringing and buzzing off the hook, an indicator Mingi had told them what happened. You were hoping that the boys would not show up at your house since you were with Haneul.

"Unnie, are you really okay?" Haneul asked as you both got down from the cab.

"Yeah. Why do you keep asking?" You chuckled, squatting down in front of her to tuck her fly away hair behind her ears.

"You seem sad. Are you sad?" She tilted her head. You didn't reply her, pursing your lips as you tried to come up with an answer. Instead, Haneul reached up to hug you.

"Don't be sad." She patted your head.

"Thank you, baby. I won't be. Because you're here with me." You lightly pinched her cheek. She giggled shyly and you headed into the building with her. When you stepped out of the lift, you were thankful that there was no one waiting outside the door for you.

"Are you sleepy? Let's get showered, changed and in bed." You told her, putting her bag aside. After a quick shower, you dried Haneul's hair and laid with her until she fell asleep.

"Ugh, I need a drink." You grabbed a bottle of soju you had left in the fridge and poured it into a glass.

'I'm outside. - Hwa'

'I don't want to see anyone... Haneul is sleeping and I just want to be alone. - Indigo'

'Are you really not going to tell them the truth about why you're leaving? You'd rather leave and let them believe their own conclusions? - Hwa'

'It doesn't matter at this point. I'm already leaving tomorrow. I've caused enough hurt here. - Indigo'

Downing another shot of soju, you pushed yourself to stand up and open the door. Seonghwa looked up from his phone, taking you in. You sniffled and went into his arms as he hugged you. You cried into his chest. Not wanting other neighbours to see, Seonghwa walked you in and closed the door.

"Hwa... I hurt him so bad... I really... I hurt him." You cried into his chest. He shushed you but you were inconsolable.

It was no use, what you did broke both your heart and Mingi's heart into a million unfixable pieces. This was all your fault. You could only blame yourself for this.

"I'm sorry you have to do this and take the blame all on your own." He whispered.

"It's okay, I deserve it." You shook your head.

"No, don't say that. You don't deserve it. You don't deserve to have your life threatened just because you fell in love. You shouldn't have to sacrifice it for others." Seonghwa denied.

"Maybe it's better for him and all of you to hate me. It'll make leaving easier." You looked up at him. Seonghwa cupped your cheeks, lightly brushing your tears away with his thumbs. If only he could convince Hongjoong to come talk to you.

But the captain was still in shock. Seonghwa convinced him not to confront you after seeing the state Mingi returned home in. He knew you would be in a worse state. So he locked himself in his room.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" Seonghwa asked, brushing your hair away from your face.

"Tomorrow afternoon. The movers are coming to get the final things in the morning." You informed. Seonghwa nodded his head.

"Don't come to the airport tomorrow, okay? It'll make it harder for me to leave. And Haneul might prefer to go with Bunny pancake oppa." You tried to joke.

"Then I guess this is goodbye and good luck." He smiled softly, tears brimming his eyes.

Now it was your turn to reach up and gently wiped the tears that slipped down his cheeks. You hated this, a part of you didn't want to see it. That's why you dreaded it. You didn't want to be the cause of anyone's tears. And now, your big brother Seonghwa was crying because of you.

"Keep in touch, okay? At least let me know you're alive." He hugged you tightly.

"Maybe not for the first few months... Or I might be tempted to leave and come back." You said. Seonghwa nodded, understanding where you were coming from.

"I know I have no right to ask for anything... But please, take care of Mingi for me..." You said, your lip quivering as you cried.

"You know we will." He promised.

"You'll always have a place here with us. We're family, no matter what." He kissed your forehead. With a final tight squeeze of a hug, Seonghwa let go of you and left your apartment.

Returning to bed, you crawled in with Haneul. You softly brushed her hair back and placed a kiss on her cheek with a loving smile on your face. As long as Haneul was safe, you promised to keep her safe and that's a promise you'll keep.

"I love you so much." You whispered, holding her close as you closed your eyes.

While Haneul slept, you worked with the movers in the morning to get your remaining things ready to be shipped to your storage unit here or to your new house in America.

"Please help yourself to the coffees and breakfast muffins." You gestured to the counter, bowing.

"Thank you." The workers bowed. You went to pack your suitcase.

"Unnie?" Haneul sat up, looking around before finding you seated on the ground in front of the luggages. You waved at her.

"Good morning, baby." You smiled. She slid down from the bed, crawling into your lap and holding onto her plush tightly. You didn't mind that she was leaning against your chest as you packed. As she slowly woke herself up, her eyes followed the way you packed the clothes and laid them down.

"I heard you and Bunny oppa talking last night... I was sleeping but I could hear you." Haneul said. Your hands stopped. Just how much did she hear?

"I heard you crying and saying sorry. Why are you sorry to Bunny oppa?" She looked up at you.

"Because goodbyes are hard, baby."

"Then why are we saying goodbye? I like the oppas, they should come with us so we don't have to say goodbye." She asked. You didn't know how to tell her.

"Sometimes, we just have to say goodbye to each other, even if we don't want to." You told her.

"Then is big princess coming with us? You said you're like an omma and appa that haven't got married yet right?" She blinked. You shook your head with a small smile, stroking her head. You didn't blame her for being curious, she was close to them too.

"Big princess needs to stay here and work. He and the other oppas stay here and make people happy when they sing and dance." You explained to her.

"Let's brush our teeth and have some breakfast. How about cereal and yoghurt?" You suggested, knowing they're her favourite.

"Yes!" She grinned, taking off to the bathroom. Thankfully, you managed to successfully distract her.

"Alright. Yoghurt and cereal!" You took the items out of the fridge, putting them in plastic disposal bowls for her and handing her the spoon. She sat with you in the bedroom as she ate.

"Unnie, where is your breakfast?" She tilted her head.

"I already ate this morning, baby." You ruffled her hair with a smile. You finished packing some luggages and put them aside.

"Bear oppa!" Haneul suddenly exclaimed, making you whip your head around. Haneul abandoned her yoghurt and ran to hug Jongho's legs. Jongho smiled softly, stroking her head and bending down to hug her tightly. Seeing Haneul leave her favourite yoghurt behind just showed how much she loves Jongho.

"Hey." He nodded over to you. You nodded in reply.

"I'm sorry the place is a mess. The movers just got the last of the boxes this morning." You apologised. Jongho shook his head with a hum. He sat down with Haneul in his lap.

"Here." He handed her the bowl of yoghurt and cereal for her to continue her breakfast.

"Mingi hyung told us." He said.

"I see... I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to come at all so I'm surprised you're here. I was just going to pack up and go." You shrugged.

"They wanted to come... But I was the only one that could do it without crying. Plus, I wouldn't let you leave without seeing my little bear and saying goodbye." Jongho chuckled.

"Is the house in America all settled?" He asked.

"Yeah. They've got everything ready for me. A big studio space, a nice apartment in a fancy complex, all that. The agent even sent me some schooling options for Haneul when we get there. I'll need to look those over before enrolling her." You explained.

"That's good. Well, no matter where my little bear goes, she'll do well. She's so smart." Jongho looked down, pinching Haneul's cheek, who giggled happily.

"There's a Korean International School... It would be good to go there to continue under the same education system." You thought out loud.

"Especially if you're planning to come back after some time..." Jongho said.

"But-"

"I know you don't know what the future is like yet. I'm just saying 'if'. It'll make transitioning easier for her, I know some kids have a hard time with migration." Jongho explained.

"Yes and I want her to continue speaking Korean as a first language, not a second." You said and he nodded. There was a short silence that hung in the air.

"They don't hate you... you know... Or at least, most of them..." Jongho added, as if he was reading your mind. You were grateful for his honesty. In your head, you already knew who amongst the boys would be the most upset. Hongjoong, Wooyoung and Yunho probably had some strong words to say to you.

"They should hate me. You should too. Especially after what I did to Mingi yesterday." You said bitterly.

"We both know that deep down, you didn't want to say those words. You didn't want to have to do that, to purposely hurt him. I know you still love Mingi hyung." He looked at you.

"You do?"

"If you didn't, you wouldn't be leaving."

Series Masterlist

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balanceoflightanddark · 1 year ago

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I would be curious to hear your full thoughts on Azula in the Spirit Temple

...oh boy...my full thoughts on Azula in the Spirit Temple...

Needless to say, there has been a LOT of discourse on the release of the Azula one-shot these past few days. I know cause...well, I made a post saying my fic was on hiatus till I got my head straight. So needless to say, I've been in the middle of it myself.

The thing about the one-shot though is that it's not just the comic itself but all the baggage and expectations that comes with something that we've been waiting 15 years for. This is the first time Azula has EVER gotten the focus for once. For many of us, this has sort of been a make-or-break situation. I'll get to why in a moment but needless to say, it's been a stressful week.

But having read the comic, I'm ready to give my opinions on it. Spoilers. Obviously.

By now you should know the synopsis: after a raid on a granary, Azula's Fire Warriors make a rescue attempt for one of their comrades, leaving Azula behind. After trying to track them down for their "betrayal", Azula stumbles across a temple deep within the wood home to a monk. Of course, not all is as it seems, as it becomes apparent that something dark resides within, pitting the Princess against her very own psyche.

As I mentioned before, this is Azula's first time in the spotlight. The whole comic is written from her point of view, and she is effectively the protagonist. Going in, I was both excited...and terrified. See, this is her first appearance since the Yang comics and...

...yeah. Needless to say, there's a LOT of bad blood for me going into this comic. So much so that I nearly lost it when I heard some of the spoilers going in.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

To begin, this comic does the most critical thing right: Azula is NOT portrayed as being an irredeemable monster. While she's still a villain and makes a lot of questionable choices (her treatment of the Fire Warriors is reminiscent of how she treated Mai and Ty Lee after all), she's also given a great deal of sympathy. Probably the most we've seen out of the franchise so far.

If Azula was some kind of monster, there's no way panels like this should even exist. What's more, I actually think it does something that I think wasn't handled well in the series and treated little!Azula as...well, a kid. Not a monster or "sick" as Zuko called her in "Zuko Alone". Just a talented kid who unfortunately caught the eye of Ozai for being good at firebending. Hell, that teaser image of her burning the turtleduck was actually a toy and not the real deal.

It's stuff like this that got me excited for the comic initially. This was what we've been waiting for years now. Writers actually acknowledging that Azula was a victim and not some monster.

...which is why I blew up when the previews turned out to be misleading.

See, Azula doesn't get her redemption here. She's offered one (we'll get to that in a minute), but she rejects it and ends the story as a bad guy. Granted there are hints that she's starting to change, but she's still going after the throne and is still opposed to Zuko. Which...kind of got me upset. Mainly cause I thought it was another bait-and-switch like with Yang hinting at Azula changing at the end of The Search, then going around with her crappy portrayal in Smoke and Shadows.

Course there's only so much you can do within a single one-shot, so admittedly...my hopes were too high. Like, there was a lot I wanted. I wanted the heroes to finally get called out on their bull crap. I wanted Azula to get a break. I wanted...I guess I wanted to feel validated that somebody was listening to us.

And granted there is a little bit here and there. The asylum is NOT looked on kindly by Azula or any of the Fire Warriors, with her even trying to reassure herself she's not being held there anymore.

She even calls out Ursa on abandoning her, saying that Ozai effectively conditioned her into being a weapon when she didn't have any choice in the matter. Hell, there's a heavy implication she's genuinely hurt by what Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee pulled in the past (which considering what they did in the comics, is a lot) and wants some kind of apology from them.

Again, while she's not entirely a saint here, I don't think they'd have this panels if she was entirely in the wrong.

Which then we get to the redemption offer. Basically, the Spirit offers to give her a chance to change...which she rejects.

The problem is, said chance involves her apologizing to THEM first. And I don't think that's portrayed as a good thing since the hallucination of Zuko looks eerily reminiscent of Ozai and downright monstrous. As others have pointed out, it's clear that the Spirit doesn't know Azula and the "redemption" sounds more like groveling for forgiveness. So of COURSE it's not going to work for somebody like Azula since that won't solve anything for her.

So...we come to the ending.

The Spirit calls Azula a monster, says she's squandered a chance for redemption, and she looks upon the Fire Warriors having fun together and...she leaves...

...alone...

...look. I understand that @prying-pandora666 said this was essentially a reset. Getting Azula to a post-Sozin's Comet state with a fresh start. And I get that. Particularly if the animated stuff is gonna feature her.

...but she's alone...again...

I'm okay with her not getting a redemption since I don't think she was mentally ready for one. But...

sighs

Listen, remember how I said I wanted a lot from this comic? Too much in fact? Yeah. I was so focused on what I needed as opposed to what Azula needed. A fresh slate might be what she needs. And in a vacuum, I think this comic is pretty solid.

It's just everything else is where I have problems.

15 years waiting. 15 years of Bryke/Yang's comics, ableism, and lack of empathy. 15 years of stress, of being seen as an outcast by the fandom. It's...it's a lot to hold. And there's no way a single good comic is gonna be able to rebuild those burned-down bridges. I understand that there's talk of a potential follow-up and stuff for her from Avatar Studios.

It's just...you know. You're always afraid of this being the end. Which...doesn't sit well with me. I'm just afraid they're gonna use Azula as a marketing tool to sell future comics. That they're gonna drag this out. That they're gonna keep playing this centrist field instead of committing (it's fine here, and I do think Faith does lean in towards Azula being sympathetic after all), it's just...

I'm sorry. I want to love this comic and be excited for more stuff with Azula but...15 years is a long time. And it's going to take more than a single good comic to get me back on board fully.

#azula #princess azula #azula meta #azula in the spirit temple #atla comics #atla #azula comic #long post #sorry i can't be more enthusiastic

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nellie-elizabeth · 21 days ago

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What We Do in the Shadows: Nandor's Army (6x05)

I really am loving all the Nandor and Guillermo stuff this season...

Cons:

Honestly, I can't really think of particular cons on this one, other than one punchline didn't quite hit in terms of the dialogue. When Nandor's real army turns up at the end, it was really funny and it totally made me smile! But then there's this immediate reaction shot from Guillermo and he has a line like "What? Nandor's army is real?" and then later an interview cut with Nandor where he says "of course the dummies were just for practice! What, did you think my army was really just a bunch of dummies?" Not exact quotes, but pretty close. And those two lines just felt like... telling instead of showing? Like it was the most uninteresting way to reinforce the obvious joke to the audience, and I found it odd that those lines didn't get a little more juice. Honestly, you didn't need dialogue from Guillermo at all, just an incredulous look. And Nandor's bit would have been funnier if he'd been talking to Lazlo and Nadja, who then would have to react in the moment and insist they hadn't thought he was crazy enough to have an army of mannequins, of course not... This is ultimately a small point, but it felt like the shell of the joke was there and they didn't fill it in well.

Pros:

But honestly, this episode was a solid win across the board! Colin had a funny recurring bit here of being the only one of the gang to be actually zealously interested in Nandor's army, taking to the training and his task as logistics coordinator with real zeal. In the end, Nandor has to knock him out and drag him back to the car to stop him from charging after the army that Nandor's sending away to wreak havoc elsewhere.

Nadja and Lazlo had a genuinely sweet subplot about the state of their relationship! She's frustrated that he's always making decisions and leaving her in the dark, and he expresses that she's so wonderful and perfect in every way that he wants to be the best for her. They then team up to break into a fireworks shop as part of their plan to help Nandor. I really liked this little moment where she stood up for herself and Lazlo made some typical blunders and then circled around to being oddly sweet in his own stupid way. I loved the bit where he calls out that he'd meant to say something "with the exact same meaning but that doesn't piss you off", which was hilariously honest of him.

What makes the Nadja and Lazlo relationship so great is that it's often ridiculous and silly and full of comedic overreaction, but there is an underpinning of real feeling there too. It heightens the comedy and gives it stakes. And that's how I feel about the Guillermo and Nandor relationship too. It's patently ridiculous when you drill down on the specifics, but the bigger themes of loyalty and betrayal and life's purpose are more universally applicable and have a real emotional core to them!

Guillermo's conclusion here that the two of them need to find different life purposes and that those purposes might take them away from each other, is really melancholy, and honestly I would have hoped for something else... we'll have to see where we land when we get to the end of the season, but I am bummed about it. Still, as an arc of actualization for Guillermo, I would love to see him escape from the master-servant relationship with his current boss and realize that he doesn't need to position himself in that servile role at all. Maybe some way, even if being a vampire isn't for him, he can take on the status of leadership implied by his Van Helsing blood, as a protector of humans against vampires, a guardian of the boundaries between these two different worlds living side by side.

I'm always going to love that it's Guillermo who can get through to Nandor in the end, when none of his fellow immortals can. Guillermo is the reason he's turned to such a drastic place, and Guillermo is the one who can pull him out of it. I have given up all hope that they'll take this story in a romantic direction, at least not explicitly stated, but I still have fun with the fucked up depth of emotion between the two!

9/10

#review #wwdits #wwdits review #what we do in the shadows #what we do in the shadows review

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swanhookheart · 6 months ago

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I finished with Bridgerton season 3 earlier today, and it left me feeling a little icky.

Spoilers ahead. Reader beware.

We've been given hints - some subtle, some less so - about sapphic Eloise for four years. Hell, we got more "Eloise might be a lesbian!" articles this season than ever before thanks to her closeness with Cressida. The groundwork has been laid for three seasons, the hints have been dropped, and with the Cressida "friendship" (which is giving "and they were roommates!") AND bisexual Benedict confirmed canon, it seemed like maybe now was the time to get her wlw storyline that the show has been teasing since the pilot on the road.

And instead of doing anything with that, which was out there on a silver platter for the writers to work with, they introduced a whole new, totally canon-divergent plotline with no warning, in the last five minutes of the season.

Let's be so for real; they're probably not going to make THREE of the siblings queer. Meaning it is highly unlikely that we'll ever get to see a sapphic Eloise. And if that's the case, why tease it? Why all the PR articles talking about it and interviews with Claudia Jessie where she's like "hmm, maybe" if they're not going to do anything with it? That feels a little queer-baity. They've been teasing for years, and this is the third season in a row where they've done nothing with it. If they continue to do nothing with it and don't make our girl El a little fruity, then that'll feel like a betrayal. Don't hint at stuff you don't intend to explore further.

Bi Benedict made total sense. All the signs were there. It tracked. Sapphic Eloise would make total sense. This??? I mean, yay for rainbow representation on the tea party dancing show, but shoehorning Michaela into the very last few minutes of the show while again doing nothing to act on any of the El queer hints feels... well, it feels like a bait and switch. With so much PR and so many articles and videos and speculation about Eloise being a lesbian this season, that was a big part of what lured me in. We kept getting "Eloise might be gay" and "looks like there's an LGBT character this season!!!" teasers back-to-back. They 100% knew what they were doing with that. So, to then be given Michaela is like "oh... umm, okay." It's great, but it's not what was teased at all and so that is disappointing.

But if I, a sapphic, claim it is disappointing, I am called homophobic. Can't win out here.

There was also no reason to introduce Michaela so early, unless the writers were setting that up to be THE wlw storyline among the Bridgertons.

And that is what is pissing me off. Like, we know that you were drawn in by our hints at an LGBT love story, and we know that a bunch of the teasers and PR we put in front of you made it seem like that would be Eloise. But we're not doing that, actually. Here's something we just pulled out of our asses with minimal to no foreshadowing instead. Happy pride. uWu🌸

Can you blame me for feeling a little led astray by that?

I want to be abundantly clear: I am not knocking the fact that we are getting representation in the first place. There is so little sapphic representation to begin with! That is not my issue. It's the implicit promises, made and broken, both in all three seasons and particularly in the promo for this specific season, where everything pointed to a queer Eloise and then it was all "haha, just kidding, but here's your consolation wlw".

#bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #eloise bridgerton #wlw representation #rant #unpopular opinion

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fandom-junk-drawer · 11 months ago

Text

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern Au) - Error 404 Brain Not Found: Bonus Scene - Part 11

"Hey, Geralt, isn't that your f***ing bard?" Lambert asked, pointing towards the sidewalk. He and Geralt were on their way back from the hobby store, and were waiting for the light to change.

Geralt scanned the moderately crowed sidewalk. Yep, that was Jaskier! The bard was doing a little window shopping at the jewelery store.

"Yeah, that's him,"

"It's close to lunch time, let's see if he wants to get someting to eat!"

"He'll probably say no," Geralt said.

"Well, then we'll just have to pursuade him!" Lambert replied.

Geralt glanced at the red-haired Witcher.

He grinned at Geralt mischeviously.

Geralt grinned back.

Jaskier looked over the jewlery in the window. There was a really nice ring that had caught his eye, and he also spied a necklace that he knew Yennefer would like. Maybe he would stop on the way home this afternoon and get them.

Jaskier continued on his way, heading to the studio. He paused to check his phone...

The light changed, and Geralt floored it...

As bystanders watched, the rusty old van swerved to the sidewalk. The sliding door whipped open, and a large, red-haired Witcher leapt out and grabbed the poor man who had stopped to check his phone.

The poor man is screaming and flailing as the scary Witcher drags him into the van. Or tries to. The man is certainly putting up a struggle. He is proving to be a bit difficult to hold on to...

Jaskier is putting his phone back in his pocket when hands grab him and start dragging him away. "Motherf***er!" he snarls when he recognizes Lambert, "Let me go!"

"You're coming with us!"

Jaskier, either genuinely unaware of how he sounded or just out of pure pettiness, started screaming, "Nooooo!" and desperately trying to break Lambert's grip.

Lambert finds himself trying to hold on to Jaskier, who is twisting, wiggling, flopping, randomly going dead weight, and making all kinds of noises.

He finally gets an arm around Jaskier's waist and a hand over his mouth just as he starts screaming, "Help!", and half frog-marches, half drags him towards the van.

He's almost there when Jaskier goes dead weight, slips out of Lambert's grasp, and tries to run. Lambert's grabbing the back of his shirt and trying to swing him towards the open van door.

Jaskier grabs a lamp post and is screeching and cussing as Lambert pries him off and drags him backwards towards the van.

Geralt is getting nervous in the van. This is taking way to long, and people are staring, and...sh*t here come the police. F**k.

Jaskier was clinging to the door frame of the van as Lambert tried to yank him inside when the authorities arrived.

Lambert abruptly let Jaskier go to put his hands up as the police surrounded them.

Jaskier fell to the ground with a surpirsed little yelp and was 'rescued' by an officer and put safely in the back of a police cruiser.

They hadn't even given him time to explain before they rushed back to assist in apprehending his kidnappers.

Things were not looking good. He dialed Yennefer's number and then hesitated. Pushing 'call' was practically a death sentence. Yennefer was going to f***ing kill them all in front of the police. They would probably be safer in jail...

Geralt and Lambert were cuffed and laying face down on the sidewalk, frantically trying to explain. The police seemed disinclined to listen due to all the eye-witness testimony.

F**k.

Jaskier swallowed hard and hit 'call'.

"We know him! He's our friend!" Lambert was saying as Yennefer arrived via portal. She was immediately confronted, and not happy about having guns pointed at her

"Don't f***ing point that thing at me! I'll turn the lot of you into toads, the King be d*mned!"

"I'll turn him into a toad as well!"

"Why is my husband on the ground in handcuffs?"

"Of course I know him, you nimrod, I just told you he is my f***ing husband! The other guy? Never seen him before in my life."

Lambert: *gasp of offended betrayal*

Geralt: *hmmm!* (translation: Yen, stop f***ing around!)

"Fine, yes, I know him. He's my brother-in-law, and he's a bigger dumba** than my husband! Now someone with an IQ of more than two digits tell me what's going on!"

"Kidnapping!?"

Yennefer looked at Geralt, Lambert, and Jaskier in turn.

Geralt was suddenly very busy studying an incredibly interesting crack in the sidewalk.

Lambert was pressing his face into the sidewalk so there would be absolutely no chance they could make eye contact.

Jaskier was sitting in the back of the police cruiser. When Yennefer looked at him, he had the audacity or wave.

"You a**clowns! I should just let them take all your a**es to jail!"

"We were just trying to take him to lunch!" Geralt tried to explain.

"By pulling up in a pedo van and snatching him off the street? Really, Geralt?"

"We didn't think he would put up a fight!" Lambert added.

"Shut up, Lambert, the adults are talking!"

"I'm sorry, officers. This is all just a big misunderstanding. The man they were trying to 'kidnap' is my brother-!"

"I thought I was your Darling Husband!" Jaskier interjected from the backseat of the police car.

Yennefer turned and gave him A Look, and a very graphic mental image of what she was going to do to certain parts of his anatomy if he didn't immediately shut the h*ll up.

Jaskier quickly shut his mouth and the car door. For his own safety.

Geralt and Lambert were given a chance to explain themselves, identities and relationships were confirmed, and the detainees were handed over to Yennefer.

The witch glared at them and pointed mutely at the van. They scrambled for it like horror movie victims making a last ditch effort to survive.

They probably weren't going to survive for long, judging by the sounds that began emanating from the van after the witch closed the sliding door behind her.

The police prudently packed up and left.

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bestworstcase · 7 months ago

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Hi again. I've continued to read through... well, whatever the almighty algorithim feels like suggesting (searching here is hard even when you have an idea where to start, which I don't), and my mental state can be best represented by this little gem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZWK5IBuVMM&t=298s (Is this necessary? No. Do I think it's funny and worth sharing? Yes, and to an extent that's kinda what this site is all about)

Anyway, a pretty common thread I've noticed in your theories is "Summer is an up-to-now-offscreen agent of Salem by choice." While you definitely make a good case even from the limited amount I've seen, I have to ask: when and where did these thoughts originate from in the first place? I mean, I can *kinda* see where you connected some of the dots, but it's still a huge leap compared to the initially perfectly sensible conclusion of her being dead or otherwise incapacitated.

(Oh, and if this could be answered similarly to my last question, then I can at least say that I have loose plans for a thorough notepad-and-magnifying-glass rewatch of the whole series over the imminent summer after a warmup with Spirited Away, so we'll see how that goes. Maybe I'll look back at myself a few months from now and laugh at my relatively foolish ways; wouldn't be the first time, anyway)

i’d joke that it’s about the Vibes TM but what it comes down to really is the way rwby handles foreshadowing. as for the "when and where" part i couldn’t remember so i went looking.

let me take you on a little journey

these messages on 7/27 are my first direct reference to the idea of summer joining salem but i think (based on my phrasing) that i must have had it in mind for a while prior, which given that this was eight whole days after i’d finished watching the show at all. well. if i had to guess i’d say i probably went "okay so yes but also no" after ruby went "that’s what happened to mom" in 8.11

and the reason for that is pretty simple:

there is a lot of build up in v1-8 to summer’s fate being a Big Fucking Deal; this, in combination with the careful phrasing the narrative always uses regarding her disappearance—she "never came back” or she was "taken," it’s never said that she died—means she’s still alive.

salem met summer rose 12-14 years ago. the hound is a novelty to everyone, including salem’s own inner circle, and salem herself describes him as an "experiment." ruby jumps to a conclusion that doesn’t add up with information the audience knows that she doesn’t.

but, it’s unlikely that ruby is entirely wrong: think about tyrian waxing poetic about his "goddess" and ruby with no hesitation saying "cinder." she was both incorrect (his "goddess" is salem) but partially right (cinder is salem’s protégée and tyrian is here at all because cinder asked salem to deal with ruby).

in v4 we get a look at salem’s evil boardroom (there are two seats conspicuously left empty) and then see salem receiving a seer call from someone stationed at beacon, after it’s been firmly established that none of the agents we know about is there. we don’t see who is on the other end of this call, and we only hear salem’s side (note the incongruity with how seer calls are depicted in every other case; the identity of the beacon agent is withheld from the audience deliberately).

in v5 raven is so scornful of summer rose that she decides "you sound just like your mother" deserves an immediate fireball from cinder fall to the face. in v9 she was big goofy grins at summer. SOMETHING REALLY BAD HAPPENED. and i don’t think this dramatic change is explicable by raven simply watching summer fail and die or be captured; else she’d just be calling summer a fool the same way she does qrow and tai. that says betrayal.

so we know that summer met salem. we know that she did not die and cannot have been made into a hound-like creature (because he’s a new experiment). summer being alive probably rules out her being a ‘failed’ experiment, since that would undoubtedly have been fatal. ruby’s assumption that summer was twisted into a grimm-thrall by salem is incorrect but likely not too far off from the truth, and we know SOMETHING happened during that last mission that shattered raven’s trust in summer, and the simplest answer there is that summer is with salem but willingly.

and salem has a Mystery Lieutenant who’s been stationed at beacon since it fell. math! to my mind the only real questions are why and if summer might have been partially grimmed a la cinder, because in v8 the narrative starts telegraphing "summer is with salem in some not-enslaved-or-imprisoned capacity" without any subtlety at all.

now if we add in to the mix certain things v9 did ("an invincible monster who took your mother!" OH BOY) ("she lied, she left with raven! why would she–?" OH BOY!!!), there’s a clear narrative trajectory developing in the direction of summer rose not having been the Perfect Martyred Fairytale Paragon that everyone has put on a pedestal for the last 12-14 years; like anyone else she was a real person with flaws, and narratively the strongest way to drive that point home is to present to us (and to the characters who’ve been mythologizing summer as a flawless hero for more than a decade) a summer rose who decided that siding with salem was the right thing to do and then exploring why she did it.

summer being with salem of her own volition also makes it a lot easier to get to the narrative turning point of negotiating with salem; summer is the bridge, someone who has people she cares about on both sides. it is much harder to form a truce with salem if she tortured two of the main characters’ mother to death and/or enslaved and/or imprisoned her (because then you need to have an arc about saving the mother and that pushes further down the dead-end road of trying to defeat salem, who can’t be meaningfully defeated). but if summer chose to side with salem she can open that door to "maybe we can reason with salem."

so thinking about it just from a writer perspective… if i were the one writing this story and making these creative decisions with regard to the summer rose mystery, the reason i would set things up in this specific way is to develop toward a twist that summer freely chose to join salem with the intention that this precipitates the negotiation. that was true in v1-8 and then v9 ticked off literally every box on my mental checklist of things i would expect v9 to do if this was the direction they were headed—another hint about salem "taking" summer in conjunction with a reminder that salem is "invincible," surfacing ruby’s self-identification with The Idea of summer rose and how very harmful this is, a peek through the looking glass at The Person summer rose who is flawed in ways that shock and distress ruby, and an explicitly-stated "who knows why?" in reference to summer’s flaws and her final mission.

shrug. it’s just the explanation that makes the most sense taking into account all the clues that we have.

as a further point of interest, neither summer nor tai have an obvious ozian allusion (in contrast to qrow and raven who are the scareqrow and the woggle bug respectively)… which by process of elimination with the cast of marvelous land of oz, probably makes them general jinjur and jellia jamb. jinjur conquers the emerald city and occupies it for most of the story; jellia is a serving girl in the emerald city’s palace who remains with jinjur until very near the end when she gets roped into mombi’s schemes. which tracks with the idea that summer is holding beacon on salem’s behalf and tai is…there.

and i am kicking myself for not clocking tai-as-jellia until B4 dropped because it’s so. obvious. in hindsight. lol

(bonus first time reaction to 7.2

because it made me snort)

#this is more a writerbrain ''i know this technique'' theory than an analytical one

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penultimate-step · 5 months ago

Text

brief thoughts about Aqua's potential motivations in OnK 154

I notice that the latest chapter has left me a bit confused as to Aqua and Ruby's character motivations in retrospect. Playing with my own thoughts a little: Aqua's impulse for revenge has been portrayed throughout the manga up til now as something inherently destructive, both to himself and others - this contrasts with the revenge we're given, which is forcing Hikaru to confront Ai's emotions and his own failures. Ai asks Aqua to help Hikaru, and indeed, I would argue that showing him this truth, even if it is so many years to late to save him, is a constructive act rather than a destructive one.

And like. On one hand that's nice, that's a sign of growth for Aqua that he isn't prioritizing hurt and pain above all else, that is a good direction for him. On the other hand it does leave me a little unsure what was going on when he talked about revenge in previous chapters? Even as late as chapter 150, after the movie is completely filmed, the drive for revenge is contrasted to the wish to live on and find happiness. One could argue that this had more to do with his own emotions than the actual act itself - that the problem with Aqua's revenge has always been more about his own issues, his suicidal thoughts and how he treated the people around him, than anything in the real world - but I don't think I quite buy that?

So my guess that there was something in this plan that could have been much more harmful and destructive. By confronting Hikaru this way, Aqua is making a choice not to go that route, to move forward and act in a less destructive way, to prioritize Ai's wishes and his own future over his own guilt and self-harm - and I think in future chapter's we'll learn what that other, could-have-been path might have been.

There's another bit in this chapter that gave me a some pause - Ruby. The final page of the chapter has her standing outside the door, listening in - I don't want to assume too much based on one wordless, shadowed facial expression, but she seems deeply unhappy, almost haunted. Given Ruby's previous meeting with Hikaru (also some speculation from 152) I think that while Aqua has been aware of Ai's request, and has been having his internal struggle about what to do with his revenge, he has been keeping Ruby in the dark - she knows this movie is for the sake of revenge, but she likely didn't recognize Hikaru and is possibly unaware of all of these details, even though she was the one acting it out. This might be the first time she's hearing any of this!

(Aqua's line that Ruby "was acting that line as a lie" may completely disavow this. I'm not 100% on this interpretation. But given the surrounding events I'm more willing to believe that she didn't have the full context here.)

When Aqua originally released the information that they were Ai's children, Ruby saw this as a betrayal of their family so severe that she cut ties. They later made up, but not by addressing the fundamental issue - Aqua's identity reveal papered over the issues that were there. But while Ruby sees Gorou as someone who categorically is on her side and wouldn't betray her, that isn't exactly true - the act that caused her to no longer see Aqua as a trustworthy figure were still something he did, and didn't regret. So how will Ruby react to hear Aqua, her beloved idol, say that his revenge was in part something that would help their mother's killer? Aqua has had plenty of chapters considering the worth of revenge versus happiness - Ruby hasn't had that. It's possibly she went along with this plan because it was Aqua who asked - but equally possibly that this is a moment that she realizes that her idol has plans that go against her own, causing their relationship to strain once more.

Now, I've made a lot of guesses from very little information here, it's entirely possible that I'm completely off base on both points - that this was Aqua's plan from the start, and that Ruby was completely informed. But these are points I think are the factors that I think are not fully explained as of right now, which means I think will receive further elaboration in coming chapters.

#oshi no ko #oshi no ko spoilers #step.animanga

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hms-no-fun · 1 year ago

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something in particular from the chapter stood out to me: there is a conscious decision to use the term "upsilon kids" diagetically, within the text, to refer to the group that had for a long time been referred externally as "the upsilon kids" within the fandom. any reason why you decided to make that leap?

well, the fandom called them the upsilon kids because i told them to. i always wanted these four to stand as parallels to the omega kids from hs2/hs:bc, and as echoes of the beta and alpha kids from homestuck proper. canonizing the name "The Upsilon Kids" is part of a larger strategy on my part that i'll expound upon a bit here.

you'll notice a few key bits of information being repeated in different contexts in this chapter. nods to three years ago, six years ago, ten years ago, etc. this is a deliberate choice to hammer home the timeline that we'll be working on going forward. this will (i hope) become increasingly useful as the story goes on, and we learn more about these characters and how they grew and changed over time. a big running theme of 3.2 is the notion of being in the middle of a story. the cast of godfeels, like us, have found themselves dropped into an ongoing narrative whose particulars don't really have anything to do with them. so much of the shift towards space opera has been about making the homestuck regulars feel less like the center of the universe. these are stories that have happened, and will happen, regardless of their attention or participation, which will nevertheless have an impact on their lives.

the burning core of 3.2 is the timeline of the upsilon kids. i very much like the idea of projecting a narrative forward to give the reader a vague sense of what's coming. lost on samsaria at 16, returned to the ewl at 23, betrayed at 26, dana & lenore reunited at 29. this means that the question isn't so much what happened as it is why it happened, which is always the more interesting question for me to write about anyway. so, back to your question-- it might've been good enough to just mention that Dana and her friends used to be "intergalactic celebrities," and indeed earlier drafts did leave it at that. but celebrity is a really vague, fluid concept, and i actually think that by itself is a less interesting fact as a result. adding the note that they were famous as a group for a specific event which defined their celebrity is just that much tastier. it's personal, you know? and it being personal in turn elevates and complicates the nature of Jade's betrayal.

i think, also, the diegetic proper noun The Upsilon Kids also stands as an interesting parallel given what we learned about Dana's history in B1C1. repeated themes in different contexts.

there's a lot of exposition in these early chapters of 3.2, because we're currently in the process of shaping a mold. i want you to see and understand this shape from a distance, to broadcast what is and is not a going mystery, so that you have an idea what to look for once we get to the point that we're actually starting to fill that mold with something. there's more i could say about this storytelling philosophy but i'll save that for another day, i think :)

#sarahposts #godfeels #homestuck #the upsilon kids

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echoedcrosshairs · 2 years ago

Text

Those Who Fight Together - part 8

Summary: Undescribed Jedi female nicknamed Reaper in 3rd person makes up with Echo and Tech finally says and does what’s on his mind 🖤Smut with a Plot🖤

Warning: NSFW, Crude Language, PiV, creampies, pleasure tears, alcohol, emotional burst.

Word Count: 8k

part 7 part 7.5 part 9

"Did you talk to her?" Hunter asked when Tech got back.

"She was indisposed, I will try again at a later time," he said sitting down with the datapad trying to distract himself.

"Indisposed?" Wrecker asked.

"Yes, she was in the bathroom excreting whatever it is she drank"

Tech noticed Wrecker and Echo nod, their attention went back to what they were working on but Hunter didn't seem to believe it but didn't say anything nor did Echo appear to believe it.

"Are you sure she wasn't in there with some reg?" Crosshair asked, not believing it either.

She was definitely screwing a reg but it wasn't with just any Reg, "As often as I have been at odds lately with my own vice of consumption, I think I would be quiet familiar the sounds of regretting that consumption."

Crosshair knew he was lying, "How about I go talk to her myself."

"Crosshair, do I need to remind you how last time went or that for a fact last you saw her you just happened to try to kill her. I do not think it would be wise if you of all people went."

"Fine," he gritted out putting a toothpick in his mouth. Ah probably he's covering for Wolffe or Cody. Crosshair started gnawing at the toothpick to keep from saying anything else.

"Well I hope she comes back," Wrecker said messing with a smoke bomb.

"Do you think she is?" Echo asked looking to Hunter.

Hunter looked at him but didn't look at him, after reading the messages Tech recovered from from the frequency he truly didn't know. He could hope but the reality of it was for once he didn't know.

"Hey, Boys. We'll be on our way back shortly, the General had a little to much to drink she's in the tank," they heard Cody from the other side.

"Like I said," Tech said rolling his eyes.

"It is like you said," Wrecker said approvingly nodding.

"Location?" Echo replied looking down at the coordinates, "Not far from here, I'll come intercept."

"Thanks, Echo."

Was this a good idea? No, but am I going to do it anyway? Yes. Echo got up noticing Wrecker and Hunter was following him. He saw Wrecker got a little pep back in his step and hoped that it would be at least a semi neutral interaction.

Tech played with his spanner debating if he wanted to go but felt like what he needed to say was more of a private matter, given he destroyed his brother's happiness he wanted to give them this.

"Wolffe?" Crosshair asked taking the destroyed and chipped toothpick out of his mouth.

"Drinking."

"I don't believe you."

"Sounds like a personal problem."

Crosshair squinted his eyes at him, the neutral expression on Tech's face as he stared down at his pad. He put another toothpick in his mouth, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not. Hmm. He decided he was going to head to follow after the rest of the squad to see for himself. Peaking back he noticed Tech following up, not looking up except for a tiny glance. Gotcha.

Wolffe had gotten her to the small med bay and headed for a quick scolding shower to get the lingering smell of arousal, brushing his teeth before completely drying off and heading back. She was only half submerged in the tank so they could run their test. He watched the monitor watching her steady heart beat, the corner of his mouth tugging into a smile.

"It sounds like their on their way," Cody said taking a seat next to him, "I know it's been awhile, but did you have to be so rough?"

"I wasn't the one being rough," he smirked.

Wolffe looked up to see 99 approaching with Crosshair and Tech lingering in the back. He glared at them, the other three were one thing but those two he wanted to rip to shreds. Crosshair most of all for the betrayal of the his trust.

He observed Crosshair studying him, "Like Hell, do you want to get your thrusters handed to you, Crosshair?" standing up putting himself between her and them.

Hunter looked between them, positioning himself between them. His nostrils flared smelling the faint of something on her and how sterile Wolffe was compared to the rest of them. He looked at her then at Wolffe and then back down at her. Hunter took a step back letting them stare down at each other. He made sense of what happened while she was out and Tech's forced calm, he walked over to the tank and put him hands on the lip of it. His eyes trailed down the visual parts of her body and new tattoo's, they were different from their traditional tattoos hers every slightly imperfect. Sith Pincerbug inflicted, possibly because the bacta isn't healing it. I wonder how long it took and that it means, it's so intricate. At least the bacta is washing away the scent and Wolffe bothered to shower.

Wrecker leaned over the Serg looking down at the markings, wondering if there was still there. He looked at stare down happening wondering if he should break it up or if they needed to fight it would like brothers tend to need too. After all didn't they all just want to make her happy? At least most of them do. He watched Crosshair get in Wolffe's face and decided to step in grabbing both of them by the front of their chest plates and forcibly separating them.

Cody groaned remember the last time Wrecker grabbed someone, "Put them down," pointing the floor beneath them, he heard the audible thud as he dropped them, "Next time maybe a little more gently."

Wrecker hit both of them in the shoulders, "Figure it out before she wakes up," he headed for the seats to wait.

"Are you satisfied?" Tech said scowling at Crosshair.

"Oh I got bone to pick you too goggles."

"I obviously wasn't talking to you," Tech said turning his scowl to Wolffe for a moment going back to Crosshair.

Tech didn't see the punch coming until it collided with his check and sent him to the ground, "I deserved that," he said wiggling his jaw methodically checking for damage before standing up.

"Maybe I'll tolerate you after all ," Wolffe admiring the way he didn't blink an eye taking a punch.

"Maybe you should do it again for good measure," Crosshair jested.

"Enough," Hunter said, "Just... enough all of you. If we're all fighting that will only maybe her transition harder. If she stays at all."

"What makes you say that?" Wrecker asked.

Hunter looked down at her markings again, wondering where or who her allegiance was with "She's been through a lot."

"That girl is built just like us clones, to come back from unspeakable trauma to keeping fighting. She is a soldier-" Wolffe defended.

"But she's not a clone, we both read the same report. She's a killer and a traitor," Crosshair cut in.

"So are you, Sniper. Disobeying orders and attempting to kill your superior officer. I'm surprised your still breathing I'm surprised she didn't strike you down on the way here. I don't think I would have been so kind."

Wolffe's words hit Crosshair like tank fire, she didn't go after him but why, there was no way she was still loyal to them yet her action proves otherwise. He put a tooth pick in his mouth letting it dance across his teeth. He put his shoulders back, ignoring the scoff from Wolffe and walked to the end of the tank. Crosshair searched her body for any sign of betrayal except the tattoos except they weren't traditional Sith markings realizing it looked vaguely like Mandalorian.

"What is it?" Hunter asked.

"Her tattoo... It's in Mandalorian, perhaps old Mandalorian," he said in disbelief.

"You have to be mistaken, no one alive knows ancient Mandalorian," Tech said pointing out the obvious flaw.

Crosshair gave him a disappointed look, "Wrong," pointing at the markings, "I know Mandalorian when I see it. Just not this dialect."

Tech basically put his head in the tank to look at them closer, "You are correct, these are Mandalorian in origin. I am impressed."

Echo walked over and grabbed her hand, "How long is she going to out anyway?" Giving it a gentle squeeze.

Cody shrugged, "To be fair they did give her a tall glass instead of a shots worth."

"It was pretty impressive," Wolffe added taking her other hand.

"It's normally every girls dream to be surrounded by men but they left out the part it only happens after to many drinks," you said sitting up with your eyes still closed, not knowing who was there or touching you, "I could kill that bartender right about now. My karking head," you said removing your hands from who ever they were. It felt like your skull was being compacted down and squished again your eye sockets, "Whatever that was should definitely be illegal."

The room was heavy and silent, Wolffe and Cody exchanged glances while the squad looked at each other wondering if you were going to actually do it. You pressed your hands to your eyes trying to get get it to be even darker but it felt like the world was screaming at you trying to tear you apart. You stood up feeling where the lip of the tank was with your foot before jumping out. Someone took your hand, and placed a cool patch on your forehead that relieved enough pain that you at least removed your hands from your head.

"Did that help?" Cody asked.

"Not really."

"You might want to put your guard by up it's... a loud room," Wolffe said turning you a direction towards something.

"Right, I hate Coruscant, so loud," You wiped your eyes again before slitting them open, a towel and some clothes were laid out. You felt Wolffe's hand go to your waist guiding you towards the pile. You pat dried yourself while Wolffe took the other towel blotting your hair to get it to stop dripping.

Hunter watched how seamlessly he helped her dry her hair and her put her armor back on that it gave him a spike of jealousy. He looked and most of them shared the same expression. He looked up to see Wolffe smirking cause caused Cody to groan. She finally turned around and saw all of them, once moment she was soft looking at Wolffe and then the piercing eyes came back of whoever was on the battlefield. He saw as she noticed Crosshair standing at the end of the tank, her noise twitched but she didn't say anything as she slid her sabers back on her belt.

You tapped Wolffe's cheek, "Next time down let down the whole glass," and then walked over to Cody, put your arm around his neck and brought his head down so you could mess up his hair, "and that's for letting me drink that whole thing," you said letting go and laughing at the level of dishevelment of his hair, “Aren’t you suppose to be the responsible one.”

Hunter saw the slice of who you were when you first met, the jokester looking to have fun and make trouble but that sliver was gone as soon as you let Cody go. Watching the demeanor change from carefree and fun to icy and regal he stood at attention the rest of the squad followed suit not knowing what else to do.

"Let's move out, sooner we get that asset back to Zetabed the sooner I can try to get some actual sleep," you said heading towards the door, "Let Obi and Plo know I'm ship shape and ready."

"Sooner we can get back to making everyone else uncomfortable after a battle," Wolffe leered in your ear before saluting and taking off.

"Good luck," Cody said, eyeing the boys in a cautious warning that it was for them.

Hunter fell into rank behind you noticing you didn't have give them the at ease command. Echo fell into place next to him being the second in command, and the rest lining behind them except Crosshair. Crosshair stood in the middle of the two lines watching. You felt him there in the middle, it was as equally a threat to him as it was to you. Bold, but you didn't try to kill me on the ship or in the tank; fine I'll play your game Crosshair.

"You guys can fall out of line," noticing out of the corner of your eye that Echo reached for your hand but stopped himself choosing to be your side until Wrecker ruined it.

Wrecker didn't care about the lingering awkwardness or annoyed stare he got. He grabbed you by the waist and threw you up on his shoulders, "Feeling better?"

"Eh, my head still throbs."

"I missed ya," he said not caring about the social cue that this wasn't the time or place, "Glad to see you're in one piece."

"Thank you, Wrecker," you paused to choice your next words, "It's... nice being around familiar faces."

"Hahaha, I can't imagine."

"So... What's Zetabed like?" Echo asked trying to make conversations.

"I... don't really remember," you admitted, light shame washing over you, "It's been a while."

Everyone was silent after that until you reached the ship and Wrecker put you down, "Well at least if we all go we can remind you if you forget again," he said smiling boarding the ship.

Every one went first leaving just you and Crosshair, you looked at him to find him already staring at you with slits for eyes moving the toothpick again. You rolled your eyes and shook your head, he caught your hand and your free hand went to your saber, waiting.

"They all missed you."

"You don't think I don't know that."

"You don't seem to care."

"Being betrayed and having someone you love trying to kill you is one hell of a welcome home," you dryly laughed while ripping your wrist away anger fading into pain, "I was never your Enemy, Crosshair... I waited for all of you... regardless of I whatever did to make that day happened," you paused to cover your eyes to keep anything from leaking and thankfully they didn't, "Days turned to into weeks and then weeks turned into months... so I'm sorry that I came back a little broken" your fist smacked against the ship creating a little dent and pain lit up your body, "I don't and will never blame you for what you tried to do. I probably would have done the same"

"You're going to leave, aren't you?"

You putt your hand on the dent focusing on the spot and pulled the dent out, "Isn't that what you want anyway?" you asked eyeing him and agonized expression, "its who I belong with."

"Are you coming in or not?" Tech called in over coms, privately eaves dropping on the conversation feeling more guilty about his hand in all of it and how much of a mess he made.

"Yes-" Crosshair hissed, he recomposed his snark and general annoyance he headed into the ship.

When you walked in your found Echo waiting on the wall on your room, his back pressed into with his arms folded with a scowl on his face, "I was wondering if you were ever going to come aboard or if you were off getting another ship and to leave us without saying goodbye," he took a breath trying to get the scowl off his face, "Did I do something wrong? It's like you'll talk to anyone but me," finally letting out what was bugging him, "All I tried to say is I love you but you'll talk to the guy who wanted to kill you. Do I need to try doing that? Do I just need to give up? What do I need to do?"

Sometimes making amends is as simple as talking, "I- didn't know how to feel at first when you all arrived... I felt abandoned no one came for me and none of you tried getting through to me nor understand what I went thought.. I saw the faces all of you made, you guys would be better off without me."

"We have looked for you everyday, turned down mission after mission trying to bring you home we always got there moments to late when someone spotted you.. I've spend every night sleeping on your bedroom floor like some abandoned Loth-cat waiting for their owner to come home not knowing if they are ever would or wanted too."

"Echo-"

"And then we finally found you," he said prying himself off the wall, "and it was like we... I never mattered to you, whether you meant it or not you picked them since the moment you got back... I guess I'm asking if you're choosing them."

You unwrapped his arm put yourself in them leaning your head again his chest plate, "Echo-"

He reluctantly put his arms around you, "I guess if he makes you happier, I can live with that" squeezing both his arms and his jaw.

"Not about that-"

He pulled you into your room for the sliver or privacy that it offered "You mean about what happened Wolffe," he said emotionless, "Tech tried to cover you," a small broken laugh, "At least say goodbye when you leave this time, please," he begged squeezing tighter.

"Echo-" he finally noticed the tears streaming down your face quickly unbuckling his chest place and brought you into his chest, "Sorry when you said there wasn't anything left to say, I realized there was a lot to left to say. There's always a place for you here if you ever decide to come home. I love you."

Echo held her as she sobbed while their blacks were moisture absorbing there was only so much they could take. He felt more guilty about unloading everything he felt. I just... didn't want anything else to be left unsaid. He felt her squeeze tighter probably noticing the difference.

"I love you too.." hiccup "I'm so sorry Echo."

Echo pulled a way for a second grabbing one of the many towels Tech put under the bed and wipped away the snot from both her and his shirt. He moved her to the edge of the bed and made her sit down, he sat besides her quietly. She saw the little spot on the floor where Echo kept with pillow and blanket and managed to cry even harder.

"All that matters is that you're safe," he said putting his arms around her, "Can some one grab some hydration packages?" He asked into his coms.

Hunter was already standing outside the door wrinkling his nose with how salty the air was with some waiting to see if Echo needed them, "I gotcha," he replied walking in. He saw the mess that was her face, tear stained and a mess. Hunter darted his eyes at Echo who to busy to notice, "Maybe you could have waited until after the mission?" He offered gently placing the patches on the back of her hands.

"Waiting is what got us into this mess in the first place."

"General Kenobi has caught up, we still have a little bit before we get there," Hunter paused when Echo glared at him and knelt down to look at you, "I'm glad you're still in there . I hope if you do leave it'll at least be on good terms," he kissed your forehead before heading to the copilot chair to check on everyone else.

"What do you mean waiting got us into this mess?" You asked.

"We all need to talk," Echo said moving you into his lap and standing up with you in his arms, "We can now or later," he asked his tone lowering.

"I'm going to regret this... but now."

Echo managed to slide both of you out the door and carried you to to the pilot seats, "Do you want me to put you down?" He asked.

You shook your head, "Just tell me."

"Well this is can't get much worse in terms of timing," Tech said setting the ship into autopilot, "Crosshair-"

"I'm here," he said took his seat.

"Now you two, talk. Now," Echo said angrily sitting you up in his lap, both Hunter and him glaring.

"I- wanted to end things because I didn't want my personal feelings to interfere with the success of our missions nor let it cloud my judgement," Tech said trying to level his breathing, "In doing so with disastrous effect, both of my greatest fears came to pass. Everything that happened is essentially my fault," He admitted flatly.

"I knew he couldn't do it," is all that Crosshair said.

You bolted up, grabbed Tech by the collar dragged him up squinting at him watching him mildly squirm, "That is all you ever had to say ," dropping him, "I would have understood," you said crawling back into Echo's lap.

Echo rested his forehead against the side of your head, "I'm sorry."

"Anti-climactic." Crosshair stated, not wanting to be in this conversation.

"Don't blame yourself either Crosshair, my actions afterwards weren't your fault either."

"Who says I blame myself?"

"Are you really asking me how I know?" you said like it was obvious.

He scowled, "Maybe my regret is not killing you when I had the chance."

"Crosshair," Hunter stated.

He rolled his eyes and put another tooth pick in his mouth, "... Sorry."

Crosshair noticed everyone gawking at him, it been absolutely more insufferable to be around and even more hostile when she left. He crossed his legs and leaned back in his seat pretending not to care about all of the eyes on him waiting for someone else to speak. He still did not know if she was friend or foe, but he did miss her and realize how wrong his was in all of this. He looked up through his lashes to watch her put against Echo's neck, a twinge of jealousy but couldn't blame her because this conversation was uncomfortable.

"I- am truly sorry, Reaper," Tech said fiddling with his glasses, "but do not feel like you can not stay on the accounts of Crosshair and I's actions. Everyone has worked tirelessly trying to bring you back."

"You can say that again, I'm sick of Tech hogging the bathroom cause he's drank to much," Wrecker said pouting.

Tech covered his face in hopes of keeping the embarrassment off his features to little to no success, "Shut up."

"He literally cried," Crosshair said knowing it would stand out, "He took it the hardest to bring you home," then every looked at Tech with concern they all knew he mustered through a lot of injuries without a single compliant.

"And failed for the most part-" Tech pointed out.

"You did the best with the information you had," Hunter added.

"It was something I should have so obviously noticed, it was not my best."

"It was you who got the information from-" Wrecker started say before Hunter covered his mouth, "Don't finish that sentence."

"Let's just say he stooped lower then a weequay trying to get you home," Echo whispered repulsed.

Tech turned around groaning and rested his head against the back of the chest, taking off his googles trying to get the memories out of under his eyelids.

"It was pathetic," Crosshair chuckled.

"That's the Quacta calling the stifling slimy, do I need to bring up what happened on-" Tech stated.

"Shut up."

"None of us abandoned you, we don't leave our own behind. We were coming for you, it just happened to take longer then we thought it would," Hunter said resting a hand on your knee, "We didn't understand because were made to withstand anything this war can throw at us."

Crosshair watched her break out in hysterics again. He watched Hunter and Echo try to comfort her no effect. He groaned, "Hand her over," he grunted bending over and grabbing her before they said anything also grabbed Tech who scrambled for his googles, "We're going to be busy," Crosshair growled dragging them both back to her room and bolting the door. He shoved them towards the bed and he plopped down in front of the door. "Fix it, I don't care how," putting a new toothpick in his mouth.

"She's crying-."

"Did you understand when I said I don't care how," Crosshair said crossing his arms over his chest, gnawing harder on the toothpick. He was aware of the suffering they both endured, the path of rage and the path of self destruction Crosshair was far to familiar with both.

Tech opened and closed his mouth once again frozen in what to say, he adjusted his googles trying to think. He adjusted her on the bed to where he face her spine and he could sit on the edge of the bed comfortably. He unclipped the armor placing it next to them and pulled the her blacks up to where he remembered his helmet tattoo was and flickered the light on his googles to see it was still there. To his surprise it still was. He rested his forehead against it wrapping around his arms around her noticing how still she went but still shaking.

"With my expansive vocabulary, I still can not find the precise words to articulate how this makes me feel nor how it makes me feel that you didn't cover it," he said bringing his lips to the tattoo pressing into it, waiting a second to see if she had reaction before he pressed harder into it knowing it would leave a mark He watched her lean forward and put her head between legs. He looked over at Crosshair who shook his head not wanting to be apart of it. He put his hand on her shoulder but she was silent. His leg started bouncing trying to figure out how to phrase what was going on in his head "Reaper, the actions of Crosshair and I took were not originally aimed to cause you any distress during the transition. Crosshair has always been... severe and unsociable het he's always been reliable, I needed help he was unaccustomed to giving. He did the only thing he knows how too. His words did not match what he truly meant. It is true I have always been the intelligent and logical one but you were not a variable that I was able to solve for thus rendering what I know to do ineffective therefor jeopardizing this squad but when you left... I realized how important of a variable you became that I was the one who jeopardized this squad instead." He pulled her blacks back down and put the back plate back on.

Crosshair glared at him for being dragged into it but watched you bring your head up from in between your legs and rested it on your knees instead and stifled his annoyance. It took a couple minutes but you finally stopped shaking and heard Crosshair move to his feet, "I'll get some more water and a patch." He took himself to grab a cold canteen, a small patch and warmed up a towel.

"How's it going in there?" Echo asked.

"As anticipated."

"Did she hurt him," Wrecker asked looking at the patch and towel.

"No one’s hurt yet." Crosshair said grabbing the towel, he closed the door behind again and handed the water, towel and patch to Tech before retaking his place at the base of the door.

You heard Tech stand up and hunch over you, folded up the warm towel and used it to cover your eyes and put the patch on the back of your neck. He gently tilted back your head and brought the canteen to your lips encouraging you get part of it down. You pulled back after couple good pulls of it. You heard him screw the cap back on and sit back on the edge of the bed.

"Anything else?" Crosshair asked, eyeing his brother knowing what he needed to say.

"Can we have a-" Crosshair was already standing up, "I'll be on the other side."

"What was Count Dooku's present?" Tech interjected.

"An coms device and a map," you admitted, "I assume in case I ever wanted to go back and no I haven't thought about it."

"Reaper-"

"What did they mean Echo said you've been stooped lower then a weequy".

"I have been attempting to control my guilt and remorse with out of character behaviors, drinking, spice, pod racing, a little of this and a little of that."

"Tech-"

"When days turned into weeks and the reports of a new apprentice came out... I knew. I equally blamed myself for the atrocities and now even more so overlooking the obvious frequency code."

"My atrocities were not your fault," you admitted taking the towel off but still not looking at him, "I was ready let the galaxy burn with me."

Tech wrapped his arm around her waist and dragged her back towards him, "I would have chosen to burn along side you," sliding her against his hip, "Just say it," he heard Crosshair say from the other side of the door, his footsteps receding away. Tech's jaw tightened at the interruption, "While I have the emotional intelligence of a tin bin... I-" his voice froze, the emotion short circuiting his brain, "If I had to try to articulate my feelings it's something one could quantify-" another exasperated breath, "I love you," he finally forced out. He sat there slightly frozen wishing he had a drink for the silence that followed, "but... if you feel like you belong else where, I would understand more then most."

You were silent, overloaded and exhausted. Everything you wanted to say was frozen on on the tip of your tongue. You let you head lead back to touch his shoulder, letting one arm move to cover his and making his fingers spread to hold your own between them. It seemed to be answer enough because you heard him start breathing regularly again.

"Eaves dropping?" Echo asked Hunter who was slightly smiling.

"Curiosity killed the Loth," he chuckled.

"Anything good?" Wrecker asked.

"I think they'll be fine, they just need time. Which I'm going to buy some more."

"Good, I'm sick of having scrape him up from every canteen floor," Echo said folding his arms.

"Or taking apart everything he brings aboard," Crosshair mumbled plopping himself down in a chair.

"Did you two patch things up?" Wrecker poked.

"I'm not the one who's been self medicating. He needs it the most. Now leave me alone I need a nap," he said taking the tooth pick of his mouth and tucking in at the top of his armor for when he woke up.

"Thank you, Crosshair," Hunter said as Crosshair closed his eyes and softly snored.

Tech looked at you from the corner of his eye while you looked through your lashes at him, the same relieved yet still pained expression. He pulled you closer, mildly squishing your ribs but you didn't mind. "Who were you mourning before the battle?" He asked not being able to stand the silence.

"Life."

"And the new tattoo?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

Your free hand moved to your thighs and up your sides, "It may be best if you don't know."

"I need too given, how it was applied to your skin."

"I assumed my song was over."

"I can not say I am sorry enough."

"I love you too," you finally said lighten the dark then the conversation was going. You turned, joining him at the end of the bed keeping his arm around you with your free hand you pulled down the collar of his blacks and brought your mouth to his neck causing him to go completed rigid. You placed a tiny mark on him before fixing the collar. You laughed taping the spot on his back where he put on on you and he relaxed.

"I am not one with words, I'm sorry if the action was-"

"It was fine."

"How could you still love me after what I did?" He asked regretting it instantly.

"How could you still love me after what I did?" You asked back you knowing both of you weren't angels.

He flipped you into his lap before you could blink, "Will you... stay here?" He asked fiddling with his googles. He grabbed your chin and tilted it towards his, horrified at the outburst and barely breathing, "Please."

"Do you know what you want this time...?" You asked, your heart racing leaning towards his mouth.

"Yes," he said bridging the gap.

His mouth was patient waiting to see if you would pull away before deepening the kiss. You felt Tech's tongue press again your lips, politely asking for permission before entering slightly opening your lips to him. His tongue glided against yours, he couldn't help the small noise that escaped him. He pulled his tongue back to kiss you and work his way back down your throat sucking on it. Your heart felt like it was going to explode the lower he went, a moan of his name slipped out and he suckled on your harder neck while his hand made quick work of your armor letting it fall on the floor as a sound warning to everyone else what was going on.

He pulled off your shirt and went back to kissing your body kissing every inch of your chest before moving you into the bed to pull your pants and work his mouth down both legs before moving to the center. Tech moaned as you arched into his mouth. You tried to reach down to try to take his goggles again, but he caught your hand lightly bitting your wrist which sent a shiver up your arm, "next time," he mumbled before moving his mouth back to the flooded warmth that he coaxed out. He quickly took took off his gloves letting his index and middle finger trail up from your ankle towards the glistening opening he wanted to satisfy. He ran his tongue in quick circling mimicking how you took care of yourself the first time. When he finally felt your thighs twitching agains his head he inserted his fingers. He pulled back watch hopefully he had interrupted you so he could watch his fingers move and how you squirmed around him. He saw you biting on your finger and how tight you held your eyes shut trying to be quiet. He put his mouth back on your clit and continued until you pushed out his fingers. "Tech..." He smiled before licking up the delicious mess he made and then his fingers, "Tech..." he looked up smiling more at the half opened eyed lustful expression you were giving him "Yes?" He replied.

"We should be there soon," you said trying to sit up trying to distract your loud mind.

"You forget the six to eight hour mandatory quarantine, given the small detour made Hunter seemed to make. We most likely arrived after General Kenobi I'm leaning towards the latter," Tech pushing you back down, silencing anymore interruptions with heavy kisses.

You pulled on his shirt, he quickly removed it leaving his upper torso exposed. He brought his chest down to touch yours together, he pulled back from kissing to rest his forehead against yours trying to catch his breath and enjoy the shudder the contact gave him, "Touch Starvation," he offered before you could ask, "Your body produces cortisol due to stress and there has been a lot of stress to say the least, physical touch is necessary for optimal oxytocin production levels-" he started explaining but when you ran your hands around him and started kissing his throat.

"What were you saying?" You murmured before grabbing a spot harder and pulling on it.

"Kark.." He moaned dropping to his knees between your legs, "Oxytocin... mmm... is produced by the hypothalamus and released into the blood stream via the pituitary gland... mmm... it's plays a role in sexual arousal, trust and romantic attachments along pain and stress relief-" he quickly closed his mouth when you let your teeth graze the next spot to make it darker, "Fark."

You watched him go rigid and squeeze his eyes shut for a moment before letting a long shaky breath, "Tech... did you...?" you asked adoringly confused.

"Almost, but no," he confessed trying to control the sensation.

Your hands trailed down to his jeans, "Let's take care of you," undoing the button and pulling the zipper down.

He had a conflicted expression on his face look down where your hands were pulling his pants and under garments down but didn't say anything, "What is it?" You whispered not understanding what the look at his face was about.

"I-" he took a breath, "attempted to have relations at one point recently but I could not preform the task. I am more then stimulated just making you content... I am sorry," he said moving backward but you pulled him back.

"Please," he gave it a moments thought before nodding but still apprehensive.

He finished taking off his pants, and laid on top of you laying his cock on your pelvis kissing you. You grabbed his hips and pulled him down, coaxing him that it was alright. His breathing went hitched when he slide himself in, he laid there holding himself before gently and very slowly thrusting. He brought his hand to your face, holding it letting your hips slide against one another.

You started at him, pleasure and pain on his face, "You don't have to be gentle if that's what bugging you," you said trying to spread your legs more but his other hand went to your thigh and bought it to rest against his.

"I want to do it right this time," he said, "to show you that I...-"

"Please."

The grip on your leg got tighter and between your legs started fluttering, he started moving a little more. You brought your fingers to his hair playing with it noticing his low moans change to a louder volume. You clamped down on him, "Tech."

"Reaper," he panted letting your neck go, feeling his body go numb with an euphoric rush. He flexed into you, his muscles rubbing into you which caused you to arch back shoving your pelvis harder into his, "Fark," he panted. A thin line of sweat trailed down his happy trail and at his temples. He gently pulled himself out, over stimulation making him feel sick.

He laid on his side leaning on his elbow staring at you, "Over stimulation," he said raspy.

You turned on your elbow to look back at him letting your available hand go to his abdomen causing him to flex and shake for a couple moments, letting it rest there, "Are you okay?."

"I'll be fine, I just.. need a few moments."

You watched him reach up and take off his googles to rub the inner corners of his eyes. Your heart fluttered and a lower pulse started, "You're so handsome without your goggles.." you said shamelessly staring.

The sound of your voice pulled him out of his sensations and thoughts back to the present. He hand brushed his hair back putting his goggles back on much to your vocal complaints. He put his hand against the hand on his chest, "More handsome would have been the correct statement," he said with a small chuckle.

You put your elbow down laid your head on your arm, "Do you think part of the overstimulation came from wearing your googles?"

"I did not think of that, but it is plausible."

"Do you plan for this to happen?" You asked curiously.

"Not in the slightest nor was Hunter taking a detour, although I should go ask why," he said getting up putting only his jeans on not bother to put anything else on before leaving, his mind was to busy trying to get the shaking and sick feeling to quit to care.

They started at him when he entered, Wrecker broke out hollering, "I think you forgot a couple things."

"All of my privates places are covered, it's fine. Why did we take the detour?" He asked going wide eyed realizing his level of undressed and the disarray of his neck before turning his attention back his squad.

Hunter chuckled, "You should probably get back to the reason. It's good to have you back, Tech," He said switching to being serious, "I hope she fixes what broke in you," he added turning his chair back around.

Wrecker slapped his back when he turned around to leave, "Glad to have you back to normal."

"Tech, you better get back in there or I will," Crosshair growled opening one eye.

"I'll put Bacta gel stock pile on the list of supplies to get when we're done with this assignment," he huffed walking back, his back stinging wondering if that was going to leave a handprint.

You slipped one finger into yourself noticing just that caused it spill over, feeling how much his load was you let a delicious moan. You felt your nipples erect feeling tender. Tech walked in and handed you a towel watching it drip down, embarrassed you removed the finger and grabbed the towel and dried off your finger and the wet spot under you.

"Did I interrupt something?" He inquired curiously, inserting his own finger instead. He watch your breath hitch and your body arch up, he twirled the finger causing more to drip out causing a small orgasm, "Interesting," he said removing it, wiping it off and taking his pants back off and got back into bed.

"It's just stupid girl stuff," you said trying to hide the filth in your mind.

"Indulge me," he said putting his hand on covering the opening.

"Hunter said something while him and I were... preoccupied something like the scent not changing means being a biological match or... I was just curious if we were too."

"Our fornication does not lead to procreation. Does being a biological match matter? Or is it a 'kink'?" he asked curiously.

"I it's hot," you said with a tiny shrug, a finger motioning him to come here.

Tech moved putting himself between your legs, demeanor changing from regular intellectual to back to physical yearning. He rested his head on your chest, his goggles lightly dug into you but it was the last thing on your mind. You wrapped your legs around his hips with a small audible 'mmm'. He pulled himself up his elbow and stared at you, observing every muscle, crease and pore that made you look so unique to him. You watched him adjust his goggles.

"So Mr. Touch-starved," you giggled, "how are you feeling?"

"My back still stings," he muttered pulling himself up, "I am however feeling up to the task assuming the offer still stands," he said nervously again adjusting his googles revealing his half lengthen cock.

"If you want too-" you started as he took your bosom into mouth, lightly pulling on it with his mouth and his hand caressing the other one.

"I use to assume that I was above such primitive behavior," he said letting his tongue flick over the spot, "apparently I am not even with my exceptional mind," he said with a small smile.

"You can be both. The first thing I noticed about you was that big brain of yours, it's pretty attractive."

He took your hand in his and rested it above your head, letting his other hand trail your body while carefully aligning himself for entry. Tech gently thrusted himself in, his internal core spasming at the contact. He placed his hand under your knee being your leg up to his side and brought your hips down putting you in that perfectly position that his cock could rub against the squish spot of nerves. He leaned down kissing you, stroking with every kiss. Tech was gentle holding himself back to let himself enjoy the sensation, the stimulation like electricity carrying itself through his body. The feeling was drowning out everything along with his ability to control his breathing so he rested his forehead against yours trying to catch his breath.

Your face was on fire, burning bright red and every inch aching, "What do you want to do right this time?" You managed to get out.

Tech went even painstakingly slower, "That I do want you," he paused to take himself all the way out before gliding himself all the way back in, "outside of scientific curiosity," he said pulling himself out again and slamming back in harder this time, "I am not the best at verbally conveying my thoughts or feelings," he smiled going harder and dropped his voice to a lustful whisper, "however I am more than capable of providing you a demonstration." Tech lost of sense of time, edging both of you speeding up and slowing down, doing his best to demonstrate what love making is vs just the carnal urge for pleasure and procreation.

Your hips moved in rhythm with his thrust, his hips rolling against yours perfectly like crashing waves. Your fingers curled into his hair, your heart rate spiking and a mild sweat breaking out all over. Every inch of you yearned for him to send you over the edge. Your eyes lulled shut for a moment and your head started getting dizzy, "I need to-," he picked up the paced removing his arm from your leg and brought his thumb to your clit gently stroking it. Your fingered curled harder taking some of his hair into the ball of your fist with a lustful moan, you looked at him and saw he needed to cum just as bad as you did. Shakily you removed your hair from his hair and stroked the marks on his throat, your name came out laced in desperation. You grabbed the side of his throat and pressed your thumb into one of the marks and he adjusted your hips just barely widening them so he could speed up so his cock could hit the spot harder. It causes his cock to go deeper then he meant too causing something feral in him realizing he was bottomed out against your cervix and how deep his was about to empty himself.

You could barely breathe, each breath quick and shallow. The orgasm finally hit, the spasm ripping through your body and your walls gulping up his seed desperate for every drop. The intensity causing both of your moans to turn into near screams as you dug into him and legs holding him in place, his cock spewing even a larger volume into you. Both of you could barely see but you didn't break eye contact for a moment. You could feel it seeping down, the sensation causing another small convulsion and feel that both of your pelvis's were soaked. A few tears fell from your eyes from the pleasure, shakily intensely he managed to wipe them and ripped off his goggles to show the pleasure had also caused a couple to escape from him. You pulled his face down, licking them.

"Farkkk," he said shakily pressing his cock harder into you feeling a couple more drops come out, "I think we're a biological match," Tech's voice was barely more then a shaky whisper.

You laid there with him locked between your legs until both of you finally stopped shaking and he went soft. Your both of your bodies ached all over but on clouds of mind numbing ecstasy. He gently put the towel between your legs and curled up next to you, both warm and frozen to the touch.

"I love you," you whispered kissing the arm he wrapped around you.

"I love you too," he whispered sticking his face in your neck.

56 notes · View notes

philomenie · 8 months ago

Text

Once in a lifetime

Pairing: Joakim x Mina

This is my first story to be published, so I'm very nervous.

i hope i've put all the content warnings, if i've forgotten anything, please let me know.

I would like to mention that English is not my mother tongue.

CN fluff, smut, anxiety, trauma, relationship anxiety, difficult situations, mention of betrayal of trust, cheating, mention of accident and scars,unprotected sex (USE CONDOMS!) p in v, oral sex f receiving, f dom, 18+

@valiantroeagleangel

FIVE

Mina

The mood couldn't be better, you notice Ella's look and the silent communication between her and Joakim, relief spreads through you. Ella seems to have accepted the situation and given him a chance.

That's all you wanted, you're happy.

Here under the starry sky, in his strong arms, you feel safer and more secure than you have for a long time. The last time you had this feeling was as a child.

You loll over comfortably, Joakim turns you towards him so that you can look him in the eye.

He exhales harshly and you stroke a small strand of hair behind his ear. He shivers under your touch.

"Mina, what do you say, all or nothing?"

"Wh-what?" you stutter, taken by surprise.

He leans his forehead against yours and closes his eyes.

"The way I feel about you, Mina... I didn't think I could ever feel this way about a woman again. You took me completely by surprise. It's only since I met you that I've realized what I've been missing all this time. I don't want to push you, but I'm asking you if you're ready to take me as I am. Are you ready to want Joakim and Jolly? Do you need more time... if so, I'll wait until you know if you feel the same way. Tell Mina, do you need time?"

The words just bubble out of him.

"Do you want me?"

You break away a little, look at his face, a pained expression around his eyes.

You stroke his face and feel tears rolling down your cheeks.

And yes, you know it, you know that you want him. How this is supposed to work is irrelevant to you at the moment.

"Yes," you breathe.

He closes his eyes, you see that tears are rolling down his cheeks too, then he kisses you, gently at first, then more and more hungrily, you both forget your surroundings, the only thing that matters is the two of you.

As you separate again, you realize the looks on the others' faces - enthusiastic, friendly and affectionate looks.

You laugh with relief.

Joakim is probably feeling the same way, he smiles too and pulls you close again, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"All the way or not at all?" he asks you again.

"All the way!" you answer emphatically.

Joakim fishes for his cell phone, unlocks it and hands it to Ethan across from you.

"Ethan, would you please take photos of us?"

You look at him questioningly.

"All or nothing!" he grins.

Ethan clears his throat and both of you look at Ethan with a smile.

Then Joakim loosens his hair, which flows in dark cascades over his shoulder, he does the same with your clip so that your curls fall down unruly to pull you close to him and kiss you.

Your hair covers most of your faces.

"Did you get the shots?" asks Joakim?

"Yes, they turned out well!" grins Ethan, "Which isn't necessarily down to you, but to Mina!" he teases Joakim.

"That's perfectly clear to me!" he replies dryly.

He briefly scrolls through the photos and selects the last one, opens his Instagram account, types a short text, adds the photo and before you can protest, he presses post.

You look at him wide-eyed.

"It's all or nothing Mina, I really mean it!"

Under your photo, in which you are kissing intimately, but you are unrecognizable because of your flood of hair, is the following sentence:

Luckiest man in the world, I've got my girl!

By now it's late, Claire, Lucas and Haru want to go back to the dorm, Ethan offers to drive them. Ella looks at you questioningly.

"Come on then, Ella, Anshu, we'll drive you back!" you offer.

You want to go back to the hotel too. As much as you enjoyed the evening, you finally want to be alone with Joakim. Explore his body, feel him with all your senses.

As if he has guessed your thoughts, he looks at you with darkening eyes. You feel hot and cold.

When you finally arrive in your hotel room, he immediately pulls you back into his arms.

Hot kisses cover your face, neck and throat, his hands eagerly explore your body.

You moan ecstatically.

"If you don't want something, or if something makes you uncomfortable, tell me!" he presses out between kisses. "Tell me what you want, where you want me to touch you, kiss you!"

"I want to be touched and kissed, I want to be touched and kissed by YOU, min Svensk!"

Joakim caresses your earlobe with a smile "Min Svensk? Is that so?"

"Yes, it is!" you explain.

"Then that's the way it is!" he confirms simply.

He slowly unbuttons your cardigan, lets it slide to the floor and then touches your bare arms with his fingertips.

He traces your tattoo on the inside of your right forearm, three lilies tied together with a ribbon, then over the broken heart on your hand.

You stand still, eyes closed, then he takes your top to pull it over your head and you willingly let him do it.

You feel goose bumps forming all over your body and shiver, eyes still closed.

Joakim strokes along your collarbone with both hands, moving down your sides to your hips.

He gently caresses your scar, which makes you flinch a little. He immediately lets go of the spot.

You take his hand and guide it back, now looking into his eyes and nodding in agreement.

His hands continue to wander along your body, he circles you, now exploring your back, he gently pulls your hair forward, he traces your spine, where there is another tattoo of you, various mandala symbols and tendrils.

Then he stands close to you, his hands move forward to the buttons of your jeans, his breathing is heavy, you feel every breath in your exposed neck, his erect cock presses against your butt in his tight jeans.

You can't help but reach back and pull his head into the crook of your neck, at the same time pressing yourself even closer to his abdomen.

Joakim moans softly, his hands undo the first button, then the second, the third, the fourth...

When your jeans are completely open, he gently runs his thumb along the waistband of your panties and you bite your lower lip.

"Keep going!" you urge him!

Excruciatingly slowly, he pulls your jeans down, you can't wait any longer and impatiently kick them off, making him laugh harshly and darkly.

"Why so impatient, mitt Hjärta?" he teases you.

"You know that for a fact!"

He laughs again and covers your neck with kisses once more.

His hands wander back to your upper body, he gently runs his thumbs over your breasts, lingering on the stiff nipples that stand out sharply against the lace of your bra, playing with them, making you moan louder.

He reaches back to undo the clasp, pausing briefly, waiting for your consent, which you readily give, "Yes" coming from your lips.

As your bra falls to the floor, he caresses the bare skin of your breasts, takes your nipples between his fingers, squeezes lightly, which drives you completely insane, you start to move your hips rhythmically, rubbing against his erection, which makes him groan and gives you a delicious tug between your legs.

He slowly reaches down to your panties. With both hands, he slowly pulls it down, you inhale sharply and can hardly wait to be free of the piece of fabric.

At knee height, you push your panties to the floor and kick them out of the way with your foot.

You are now completely naked.

Joakim runs his hands over your thighs, he pauses again at the scar, you nod, he resumes the movement, kisses your neck again, your earlobe, you sink against him, your hands grab his hips, you pull him towards you, feel his trembling erection in your butt crack.

You let go of him and turn around, his eyes widen in desire, his gaze sweeps over you like a hungry predator eyeing its prey.

You confidently meet his gaze.

Watch him closely.

You reach out to him, "Take off your clothes! I want to see you!"

Without hesitation, Joakim pulls his hoodie and T-shirt over his head at the same time.

"Stop, let me touch you!"

You come closer, tracing the tattoo on his chest with your index finger, the diamond, the woman's head, the bird, the roses.

He gasps as he feels your fingers, then his arms, you circle him.

Surprised, you recognize another tattoo on his back, an eagle and swallows, you trace the fine lines, then his spine, vertebra by vertebra, Joakim trembles under your touch.

When you stand in front of him again, you reach for his waistband without breaking eye contact. You undo his button and pull the zipper down, feeling his hard cock tremble as he sucks in a sharp breath of air.

Then you pull his jeans down, following the movement, still looking at him.

You help him out of his tight pants and slowly come up, stroking his legs. Your hands rest on his hips, you reach into the waistband of his tight boxer shorts and carefully pull them down, Joakim moans with his mouth open, sweat beading on his forehead.

When he is free of his underpants, you move back a little to get a full view of him.

Roughly, he asks you, "Do you like what you see?"

Smiling, you nod, "Yes, I really like what I see!"

You walk towards him, your hands bury themselves in the hair at the back of his head, you kiss him hungrily and press yourself against him.

His arms wrap around you, lift you up, he takes you to the large king-size bed, bends over it with you in his arms, gently lays you down, you let go of him briefly to crawl upstairs, he immediately follows you.

He stops at your belly button and presses a hot kiss into your flesh.

Kissing and nibbling, he slowly moves downwards, first your hips, then your mound of Venus. You bend your legs and automatically spread them for him, your breathing is now intermittent, you can no longer think for lust and desire.

Joakim positions himself between your thighs, places his large hands under your buttocks and looks at you, asking for permission.

"Please!" you gasp "Please lick me!"

His tongue runs over your folds, skillfully parting them to explore your clit.

You reach into his hair, pull his head closer, he closes his lips around your clit, sucks gently, uses his teeth carefully.

You can't hold on any longer and moan out loud with pleasure.

"Go on!"

His tongue is now exploring the entrance to your cunt, he thrusts into it with a tapered tongue, almost driving you mad.

The change in his actions quickly brings you to your climax, as you realize that you are cumming, you pull a little harder on his hair, your thighs and stomach tremble in ecstasy as you give yourself over to your orgasm, moaning loudly. Your thighs close, you try not to pinch him between them, but you barely succeed, your feelings are so strong.

As your orgasm subsides, you pull him away from your abdomen, upwards.

You kiss him hungrily, tasting yourself, you lick his lips, taking in your taste, only to thrust your pointed tongue into his mouth a little later, which makes him flinch in surprise, but he willingly puts up with it.

As you let yourself fall backwards, catching your breath, he moves with you. He continues to hold you in his embrace, unable to let you go.

"Mina, I want to feel you around me!" he moans into your ear.

His cock is so hard, you can feel it against your thigh.

"Mina" he begs

"Come" is all you say.

"Do you have a condom?"

"No, but I can't get pregnant right now, plus I don't have any STDs. Do you?"

"No, I'm clean, I got tested after my last uhm... well short affair" he explains, shrugging his shoulders.

"May I? Mina? Please, let me feel you, I can't take it anymore, please!"

"Take me!"

Joakim releases his held breath, spreads your legs and supports his cock with one hand so that he can thrust into you.

You feel how he slowly thrusts into you, how your vagina adapts to his thickness and length, an incredible feeling.

When he is completely inside you, he pauses briefly, takes your left leg on his shoulder, pulls back, watches you closely, observes your facial expressions.

As he thrusts again, you cry out.

Joakim thrusts regularly, you match his movements, a harmonious dance, as if it had never been otherwise, as if you were made for each other.

You notice that his movements become unrhythmic, sweat drips from his forehead onto your chest, his eyes narrow, his breathing becomes more wheezing.

You grab his buttocks and pinch his flesh, making him groan.

You increase the tempo and feel another orgasm approaching.

"I can't take any more, are you ready to cum?"

"Yes!" you moan, as another orgasm rips through your body, you almost lose your senses, the feeling is so intense, you cry out ecstatically, clutch at his shoulders, pull him against you.

"Mina, fuck, I can't take any more, can I cum inside you?"

You pull him even harder against you, clinging to him as if your life depended on it.

"Yes"

That's enough to get him over the threshold, moaning as he thrusts uncontrollably into you, you feel his semen shoot into your cunt. He throws his head back, his mouth open in a stifled scream.

Panting, he collapses on top of you, you wrap your legs and arms around him, unwilling to let him pull out of you.

You feel his member slowly slacken inside you, his breath still panting in the crook of your neck, his long hair covering your faces.

His body covers you completely and you enjoy the heaviness.

Then he stirs, pushes himself up.

"Stay!"

"I'm going to smother you!"

"No, stay, just one more moment!"

He carefully lies back down again, not without resting his forearms on the bed so that you don't take his full weight.

He looks you in the eye and kisses you tenderly.

"Min Mina, mitt Hjärta, min Käraste, mitt Liv!" he breathes happily.

His gentle words bring tears to your eyes.

You feel safe, protected, loved.

Endorphins rush through your veins, making you float.

"Min älskade Svensk!" you kiss him on the cheek.

"Yours, with every fiber of my body, if you want!" swallows Joakim, still trembling.

"Mine!"

Joakim shudders and buries his face in your hair.

You lie entwined in the darkness.

You must have fallen asleep for a moment because when you wake up, his head is lying on your upper body, his arms wrapped around you, one leg between yours,

You carefully release his embrace, place his head on the pillow next to you and pull one of your legs out from under him.

You roll out of bed to disappear into the bathroom to clean yourself up, his mess has run down your legs and has already partially dried.

So as not to disturb him, you silently close the door, pull your hair into a bun and quickly get into the shower.

Just as you're about to soap up, the door opens.

You smile at him, "I didn't want to wake you!"

"Hmm, a shower wouldn't do me any harm either!" and with these words, he joins you in the shower.

"Shall I help you mitt Hjärta?"

"You can soap my back!"

"Your wish is my command!"

He carefully begins to spread the shower gel over your back and you sigh with relief.

"I think there's not enough shower gel in the front either, I should change that!" he teases you.

"You should!" you grin.

As he cuddles up to you from behind to soap your chest and stomach, you feel his hard cock against your bottom.

You turn to him, kiss him and run your hands over his chest. You lean forward and take a nipple between your lips, sucking on it, making him groan.

You intensify the pressure and play with the other one with your hand.

Joakim closes his eyes and his arms embrace you.

Your other hand automatically moves to his hard cock, you grasp it carefully, moving your hand slowly up and down.

You take your other hand and run your thumb over his slit, from which the first drops of precum are already leaking,

You spread it over his glans.

Joakim trembles and has to support himself against the wall with one hand.

You pick up the pace and don't take your eyes off him, watching every movement on his face.

You notice how you're getting wet just from the sight of him.

His eyes darken. With just one movement, he grabs you by the hips and lifts you up.

You feel his cock against your cunt, then he slowly lets you slide down, you moan indignantly, clinging to him with your arms and legs.

His movements are slow at first, the hot water makes it difficult for you to breathe.

You are both panting. He thrusts into you faster and faster.

His fingers claw into your buttocks, then playfully run up and down your crack,

This feeling drives you crazy, your panting and moaning gets louder and louder, you realize that you are about to cum.

"Joakim, I, I...." you gasp

"Cum for me Mina" he moans, driving you over the threshold. Your orgasm makes you shiver and shake at the same time, you can hardly take it anymore.

A little later, he is panting harder, his eyes fixed on you, his face contorted in delicious agony. You lick his lips.

Then you feel his cock start to twitch inside you and with one last hard thrust he unloads inside you, moaning. To help him through the aftershock of his orgasm, you slowly circle your pelvis, sighing in comfort.

He then slowly lets you slide down, your lips united in a kiss.

He holds you tightly against him.

Joakim

He lolls comfortably next to you, you are still asleep, snuggled up next to him. He can't take his eyes off you. Watches your every breath, your mouth slightly open.

He can barely control himself to stroke your lips with his thumb, but he doesn't want to wake you.

He turns on his side so that he can look at you better, he smiles, feels the comforting warmth inside him, just from the sight of you.

He still can't believe that you've come into his life.

He thanks fate for it.

Suddenly there's a knock on the door, a muffled voice can be heard.

"Ms. Lamberts? Hello, are you awake?"

You are startled by the noise and Joakim looks at the door, frowning.

"Wha... what?" you ask, confused.

"I don't know what's going on!"

There's another knock, even louder this time, "Ms. Lamberts? Hello?"

Frowning, he watches as you hastily jump out of bed, quickly pull on your panties and a T-shirt and throw on your bathrobe before unlocking the door and peering through a gap at the troublemaker.

"Ms. Lamberts?" asks a man who probably works at the hotel, judging by his clothes and a name tag with the name Ben on it.

"Yes?"

"Ms. Lamberts, I'm sorry to bother you, but I have a gentleman on the phone who is looking for a guest in this hotel!" Ben explains, visibly embarrassed.

"Yes, and what does that have to do with me?"

"This guest was seen with you yesterday, Ms. Lamberts. A Mr. Karlsson. He's not answering my knock, so I wanted to ask if you might know where he is, the gentleman on the phone can't reach him and is visibly upset.....!"

That's all the hotel employee can explain, because suddenly Joakim jumps out of bed as if stung by a tarantula and appears next to you, his nakedness covered only by a towel, and angrily tears open the door.

"Who the hell is looking for me?"

Ben's eyes widen, he backs away and starts stuttering, "Um. Um, I.....!" handing the phone towards Joakim.

Joakim sees out of the corner of his eye how you bite your lip, barely able to suppress a laugh.

Growling, he takes the phone.

"A Mr. Sebastian," Ben presses out.

Joakim's eyes narrow.

"I'll kill you when I get back to LA!" he hisses into the phone and turns away into the room.

You and the unlucky one stare after him.

Quietly, so as not to attract Joakim's attention again, Ben whispers to you, "Um, the phone, I'd need it back."

"I'll give it to you in a minute, hold on!" you promise, walking after the angry Swede.

"You'd better explain to me why your cell phone is off, you're unreachable for hours and then suddenly a picture of you pops up on social media, a private picture, a very private picture! It's not like you, absolutely not. You haven't posted anything private for years! The damn picture went viral, by the way! On all platforms, fans are beside themselves. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Noah yells into the phone.

Joakim is taken aback, then runs his other hand over his face, forgetting that he is completely naked.

"How viral?" he asks quietly.

"Viral like it couldn't get any better, what do you think happens when you post something like that? I can't understand you, why did you do that?" Noah is stunned, "Also, why did you turn off your cell phone?"

Joakim reaches for it and sees that he forgot to charge it.

"Battery flat, I didn't mean to!"

"Aha.... Since when do you forget to charge your cell phone?" Noah keeps pushing, you can clearly hear the anger in his voice.

Joakim notices that you are standing next to him with a questioning face. You whisper quietly, "The hotel employee needs his cell phone back!"

"Noah, the man you sicced on me needs his phone back," he says, "I'll call you right back!" And without waiting for an answer, he ends the call and hands you the phone.

You look into each other's eyes and he shakes his head regretfully, wanting to turn to face you completely.

"Joakim, you're not wearing anything!" you hiss at him quickly.

"Oh God, that too," he says annoyed, reaching for his boxer shorts and quickly slipping them on.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you dart to the door and hand the phone back to the man, then close the door.

"What now?" you ask him uncertainly.

"I'm going to call that fucking asshole back and explain to him that he's not my babysitter!" snorts Joakim.

"I mean, do you have to go back to LA?"

He can see how hard this question is for you.

He quickly goes to you, takes your head in his hands and kisses you.

"No mitt Hjärta, I'm staying here, I don't want to miss a second of you being here!"

Relieved, you hug him.

"What about the photo?" you want to know.

"Seems to have gone viral, fans are running amok according to Noah, whatever that means!" he growls.

He sees you turn white as a sheet and groan.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I wanted....." he starts, "I just wanted to make things clear. To show the world that you belong to me, I didn't think that...." he breaks off, runs his hands over his face, brushes his hair back and then looks at you.

The sight of you makes him nauseous, you're still pale, chewing nervously on your lower lip, fiddling with your hand on your bathrobe.

"Mina.... Please, I... should I delete the photo?" his voice breaks.

"No, it's probably too late for that now!" you reply.

"Do you regret it?" he asks quietly.

You slowly snap out of your state of shock, "No, I regret nothing, absolutely nothing! Not a single second, not a single decision!"

"I didn't ask you if it was okay.... To post the photo!"

"I know, but if you had asked me, I would have said yes!"

"Would you really have?"

You smile at him, "It's all or nothing!"

"Oh Mina" Joakim pulls you into his arms.

"Älskling, you have to call Noah back, don't let him call the police on us!" you joke.

"I'm going to kill him!" he growls again!

With his cell phone on the charging cable, he calls Noah back, still angry, who picks up immediately.

"Finally," he hisses, "I thought you'd get back to me in a minute!"

"Battery flat, did you forget? I needed my charging cable first!"

"So you spent the night with her?"

"Yeah man, I did, but I don't know that I'm accountable to you!"

Both's tone is still aggressive.

"I was worried, it's not like you at all!" growls Noah.

"Then you don't know me as well as you think you do!" Joakim counters.

Both remain silent.

"Jolly, man, honestly, I really thought something was wrong. You didn't respond to my messages or Jesse's, you didn't answer my calls! Then Michael comes along with your post on Instagram.... What was I supposed to think? Account hacked? The picture was shared umpteen times, on X, Reddit, TikTok,... are you even aware of that? I thought your privacy was important to you? Some fans are trying to find out who the girl is, where it was taken. Jolly, you really started something!"

"FUCK!" groans Joakim, "I didn't realize that..."

"Jolly, one more thing, I've received both an interview request and a booking request for Portland. We are supposed to perform together with Asking Alexandria and The Word Alive. Sleeping With Sirens canceled at short notice, Kellin has caught Covid and is currently without a voice. The gig would be on the 10th, so in three days! I'm counting on the guys, Nicholas and Nick are already on their way!"

"Uhm..." Joakim is taken by surprise, he wasn't expecting this.

"Jolly, do you understand? Please be in Portland, McMenamins Crystal Ballroom at 3 pm on the dot. First the interview, then soundcheck, then the gig!" Noah explains again seriously.

"Yeah, I....."

"JOLLY" Noah gets annoyed "Damn now tell me you got that and your ass is at the venue on the 10th!"

"Yes, Noah, I got it and of course I'll be there, get me a crew pass for Mina so she has access to everything!" Joakim hisses back.

"You want WHAT? Jolly, Matt will kill you if you think your bunny needs a crew pass!!! VIP for all I care, but that's it!"

"Crew pass, you know security is extremely tight at gigs like this. I don't want Mina standing around on her own somewhere, not getting through to me, you know how it goes!" barks Joakim.

"Then you sort it out with Matt!"

"No, Noah, you sort it out in advance, otherwise you can forget the interview!"

Noah gasps audibly.

"Jolly.... What has that girl done to you? I thought the band was the most important thing in your life too? And now?"

"The band is important to me, extremely important, I gave up everything for her, for you, you know that very well! I put everything on the back burner. Worked hard for our success! But now with Mina, Noah, I don't want to lose this, it's a second chance for me to be happy! I'm not prepared to give up on this, on her. Don't force me to make a choice!" Joakim explains in a calm voice.

"I would never force you to make a choice!" Noah is shocked.

"Well, then please Noah, get me the crew pass!"

"I'll take care of it! But Jolly, please, no more pictures, will you? That would only add fuel to the fire!"

"No more pictures, I wasn't going to anyway!"

"Fine, but Jolly, do you want to go all the way with her? You hardly know her, you don't know anything about her. Who knows if there aren't any problems? I don't want you to get hurt. I saw you after Silja. How long it took you!" Noah is seriously worried.

"I'm serious about her and Noah, I know she's the one! It feels right, real!"

"I hope your feelings aren't deceiving you, honest man!"

"I'll see you in three days, then you'll get to know her and maybe you'll understand. Give her a chance, she's incredible!"

Noah sighs "In three days, and of course I'll give her a chance, especially because she's so important to you!"

"Thanks Noah, I really mean that!"

When he ends the call, he notices that you are not in the room. Your bathrobe is on the armchair, your bra, jeans and shoes, which were on the floor earlier, are gone. Just like your bag.

"WTF" he exclaims.

He hastily opens the bathroom door, empty.

Cursing, he puts on his clothes, steps out into the hotel corridor and looks left and right. You are nowhere to be seen.

This can't be true, where are you?

Joakim hurries to the stairs, then storms into the reception hall. His gaze wanders to every corner.

It's only the hotel employee from earlier at reception. He looks startled when he recognizes Joakim and points with his finger to the exit.

Joakim runs outside, at first he can't see anything in the bright sun, he shields his eyes from the glaring light and continues to search for you. Nothing.

A dull feeling spreads through his stomach. Where are you? Why did you leave? Because of the phone call? Because of Noah's reaction? Or because of the Instagram post?

Damn, did he push everything too hard?

He starts walking around the hotel towards the hotel garden, a park-like area with old trees, pavilions, hanging swings, flower beds and a small pond.

He finally spots you sitting on a bench under a tree by the pond.

He hurries over to you.

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