#but fundamentally the only ones that will be able to talk about whether or not this Nobel prize award makes sense is actually fucking

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Do you ever read a post where someone is explaining a pokitical thing and from the way they're saying you know with absolute certainty 1) they got their info from a tumblr post and have never actually followed up on how feasible that information actually is to act upon (they may not even have checked if it was CORRECT, but when they do they have clearly not looked into how easy or hard it may be to follow those instructions with a positive outcome), and 2) you know WHICH tumblr post they're quoting because it is basically a copy/paste of it, and 3) it was YOUR goddamn post and the thing they are saying is entirely counter to the point you were making when you said it to the point that you genuinely wonder if they just like. Memory-holed the entire context once they saw that one itty bitty point.

It's like the motherfuckiny dating apps all over again. I do not want people to love my words if they are not actually willing to do the work of understanding them! Didn't your kindergarten ever make you play Telephone to teach you how heresay falls out????

[boysnberriespie]

“I guess I just don’t understand how-“ you don’t need to understand every high level scientific breakthrough in the world, you just have to stop having moral panics about it, that’s all

[writingwithcolor]

Not all Second-Language Speakers are Made Equal.

@waltzshouldbewriting asked:

Hello! I’m writing a story that features a character who’s first language is not English. He’s East African, specifically from Nairobi, Kenya, and is pretty fluent in English but it’s not his primary language, and he grew up speaking Swahili first. I’m struggling to figure out if it’s appropriate or in character to show him forgetting English words or grammar. From what I’ve researched, English is commonly spoken in Nairobi, but it wouldn’t be what was most spoken in his home. For context, this is an action/superhero type story, so he (and other characters) are often getting tired, stressed, and emotional. He also speaks more than two languages, so it makes sense to me that it would be easier to get confused, especially in a language that wasn’t his first. But I’m worried about ending up into stereotypes or tropes. For additional context: I’m monolingual, I’ve tried to learn a second language and it’s hard. A lot of how I’m approaching this comes from my own challenges correctly speaking my own, first and only language.

Diversity in Second-Language English

You seem to have an underlying assumption that second language acquisition happens the same for everyone. 

The way your character speaks English depends on so many unknown factors: 

Where does your story take place? You mention other characters; are they also Kenyan, or are they all from different countries?

Assuming the setting is not Kenya, is English the dominant language of your setting? 

How long has your character lived in Kenya vs. where he is now? 

What are his parents’ occupations? 

What level of schooling did he reach in Nairobi before emigrating? 

What type of school(s) did he go to, public or private? Private is more likely than you think. 

Did his schooling follow the national curriculum structure or a British one? Depends on school type and time period. 

Does he have familiarity with Kenyan English, or only the British English taught in school? 

Is this a contemporary setting with internet and social media?

I bring up this list not with the expectation that you should have had all of this in your ask, but to show you that second language acquisition of English, postcolonial global English acquisition in particular, is complex. 

My wording is also intentional: the way your character speaks English. To me, exploring how his background affects what his English specifically looks like is far more culturally interesting to me than deciding whether it makes him Good or Bad at the language. 

L2 Acquisition and Fluency

But let’s talk about fluency anyway: how expressive the individual is in this language, and adherence to fundamental structural rules of the language.

Fun fact: Japanese is my first language. The language I’m more fluent in today? English. Don’t assume that an ESL individual will be less fluent in English compared to their L1 counterparts on the basis that 1) it’s their second language, or 2) they don’t speak English at home. 

There’s even a word for this—circumstantial bilingualism, where a second language is acquired by necessity due to an individual’s environment. The mechanisms of learning and outcomes are completely different. 

You said you tried learning a second language and it was hard. You cannot compare circumstantial bilingualism to a monolingual speaker’s attempts to electively learn a second language. 

Motivations?

I understand that your motivation for giving this character difficulties with English is your own personal experience. However, there are completely different social factors at play.

The judgments made towards a native speaker forgetting words or using grammar differently are rooted in ableism and classism (that the speaker must be poor, uneducated, or unintelligent). That alone is a hefty subject to cover. And I trust you to be able to cover that!

But on top of that, for a second language speaker, it’s racism and xenophobia, which often lend themselves to their own ableist or classist assumptions (that those of the speaker’s race/ethnicity must be collectively unintelligent, that they are uneducated or low class due to the occupations where they could find work, or conversely that they are snobby and isolationist and can't be bothered to learn a new language). Intersections, intersections.

If you want to explore your experiences in your writing, give a monolingual English speaker in your cast a learning disability or some other difficulty learning language, whatever you most relate with. And sure, multilingual folks can occasionally forget words like anyone else does, or think of a word in one language and take a second to come up with it in the other language. But do not assume that multilinguals, immigrants, or multiethnic individuals inherently struggle with English or with multiple languages just because you do.

~ Rina

[paraphwrites]

so obviously the time period a character comes from impacts them. but i adore the analysis of dbda and loneliness so now i want to analyze the characters + their time period + loneliness

edwin. so, edwin is from the 1900s. he was raised with the knowledge that he would join the military, that he would get married. this was an accepted part of life. now, i do not wish to analyze the full scale of edwin's relationship with violence (at least, not here), but i do think it's interesting that edwin goes out of his way not to inflict harm on others. this is potentially because he was raised in such a way where that was the norm, and he always knew he did not fit traditional male standards. he has always preferred knowledge and books to fighting and sport. this would have been incredibly isolating, especially as a young boy in a school for children of military members. additionally, as a queer person, edwin would have been entirely socially isolated from his peers. whether they picked up on it like simon or just thought he was un-manly, the point stands: edwin would not have fit in with his peers and seemingly had no friends when he died. which is very sad. and very lonely.

crystal. crystal's parents neglected her for their work. she lashes out. she lashes out and pushes people away (or in front of traffic). she is volatile and destructive and she is like this because she lives in an age when parents are expected to care for their children, and her parents still actively chose not to. crystal is especially traumatized because even tho she is in upper class which may have a higher rate of willful parental neglect, the expectation is still that parents love their children. moreover crystal is psychic, and that's never really been fun. she'll be completely different from all her peers in a fundamental way which she probably never talks about with any of them! so, like, of course when david, a demon, comes along, she lets him in - she's finally with someone who understands and makes her feel less lonely. someone else who's weird and angry and pretty and supernatural. and then he, too, betrays her. there is also almost certainly a race element, which may further disassociate her from her peers, seeing as the upper class is usually very white.

jenny. so jenny grew up as a lesbian in the 90s. now, i don't know much about washington state, but i do know that they legalized gay marriage in 2012. which means for over half of jenny's life, she was living with the knowledge that she would never get to live the same type of life as her peers; though the white picket fence americana dream may have been less prevalent by the 90s, it still was very ingrained in american society - especially small town society. i wonder if part of jenny's gothic fashion is to distinguish herself from other people - if she cannot have the same lives as them, then no one will make the mistake of assuming she will.

so the night nurse is lonely in a very unique way. she is lonely because she does not have a proper conception of an actual human life. she has no friends or relationships - nor does she want to; she does not know what they are like. and, i think, because she exists so outside of time and removed from society, that it makes her inherently lonely. she is lonely because somehow she was created and somehow someone convinced her that her only purpose in life is to collect lost children and she is satisfied with this but she is also alone. she has no time period to be contextualized in, and that in itself is the context.

niko is lonely because her dad is dead and her mom lives in a different continent. and i think that because she is able to utilize manga and cartoons as a form of escapism, it allows her to fill that void of devastating loneliness a bit more. she lives in a world where if she doesn't want to think she does not have to. she is not obligated to be courageous. however, she also lives in a world where she is able to choose to self-isolate, even if that isn't good for her. so when she is sad she hides away because she can and it's scary and she doesn't want to do it alone but she doesn't want to do it with her mom. i've seen people saying crystal is such a teenage girl but niko? niko wants her mom to comfort her but doesn't want to talk to her mom. niko is horribly lonely and it's only a gay victorian twink who can get her to smile again. niko is lonely because she exists in a world which allows her to be and it takes someone who is not from this time to help her move past this

charles. god, we all know how lonely charles is. biracial, abused by his father, probably bisexual, good with people yet killed via hate crime, morally upstanding. charles is the epitome of loneliness because he grows up in such a particular moment of time. he lives in the 80s. feminism and queer rights have been radically shifting in the past two decades. the 80s have huge amounts conservative pushback from these movements. so, yeah, being gay isn't a crime anymore, but gendered expectations are being reestablished in a new harmful way. so, yeah, charles is growing up in a time of progress, but he's also growing up in a household which will absolutely be anti-progress, and ergo charles is stuck in this dichotomy of he could hypothetically have everything but that would mean losing everything, too. he's lonely because his dad beats him. he's lonely because his mom doesn't say anything. he's lonely because he has a piercing but his dad locked him in his room for three days after it. he's lonely because he attends a boarding school which rich racist pricks. he's lonely because never once in his life has he admitted how the intersection of all his identities puts him in a situation where he is completely alone. and he isn't alone -he's got edwin- but their experiences with loneliness are vastly different.

as i have said a stupid number of times, dead boy detectives is a story about loneliness. and the writers made these characters so damn brilliantly because they all make so much sense in the context they were raised in.

we are all shaped by the context's we're raised in. everyone is raised at a different moment in history in different environments with different families. human experiences are so unique that everyone is inherently lonely. but lonely does not mean alone and lonely does not mean forever. it means when you were fourteen you cried yourself to sleep but now you're twenty and know how to play cricket and your friends come to all of your matches. it means you were raised in a world that was cruel and unforgiving, AND it means that because of that you don't have to be. dead boy detectives teaches us that we're all horribly lonely, and maybe that makes each other a little less lonely

i'll take some of your burden if you'll take some of mine, and whatnot

[jaythes1mp]

Just a quick question; does the batfamily like reader the same in their human form or just in the cat form?

Wonderful question, anon! I have mentioned it briefly in this ask before, but I’ll dive deeper into it for you.

All the boys harbour their own opinions regarding your two appearances.

To Dick, you remain his sweet and adorable little sibling, whether you're in your human form or your animal form. Your identity as his kitten stays constant, regardless of which body you inhabit.

For the eldest brother, your age, size, or form doesn't change his perception of you one bit. Regardless of the fact that you’re a grown ass adult, he'd still continue to baby talk and coo at you when you have a big sneeze or get food on your cheek. In his mind, you’re fundamentally a cat first and foremost, and your human qualities are secondary. He couldn’t care less about your human appearance, because he would always view you as his precious little kitten, his adorable and cherished younger sibling. Even when you're in human form, he’d still treat you as if you were a cat, completely disregarding your human aspect.

Bruce, however, has a vastly different opinion. In his eyes, you’re the perfect blend of both worlds. The feline body language and characteristics you exhibit are utterly endearing, no doubt, but your true essence rests in your human mind and soul, which is the fundamental part of you. He recognises the importance of both your animal and human forms, as they are both integral parts of who you really are. While your cat instincts may be captivating, it is your human mind that holds the most significance. He wouldn’t treat you like a mere pet, recognising the balance between your two forms. You were still his child, and that will always come first.

Ultimately, Bruce doesn't really care what body you take on, as long as you're spending time with him. When you're out in public, you're required to transform into your cat self, as to not cause any unnecessary suspicions or complications regarding your disappearance. But when you're both just chilling at home in the manor, he doesn't mind whether you're in one form or the other, as long as you're there with him. He won't push you to engage in conversations or force you to do anything you don't want to do, as long as you're just present by his side, he's content.

In stark contrast to the others, Jason has a strikingly distinct preference for your feline form, showing a notable lack of interest in you when you appear in human form. He tends to completely disregard your presence when you're in your human body, only offering you affection and attention exclusively when you're in your kitten body.

To Damian, your animal form holds a special place in his heart, a place he refuses to share with anyone else. It’s not that he dislikes your human form, far from it. But when he looks at you as an animal, all he can see is an innocent, untainted little creature that needs protecting. A creature that relies solely on him for safety and comfort. And that’s a feeling that he can’t help but relish in. Your cat form evokes a protective instinct in him that he rarely feels when you’re in your human form. But also, saying that, he does enjoy being able to talk to you, as you’re the only person that he trusts to never leave, to never feel disappointed. Because to you, he’s the only one on your side. He relishes in the fact that no matter which form your take on that you rely on him. That you need him.

Slightly out of sync with the others, Tim shows a marginal preference for your human form. He’s the only one who tends to pay more attention to you when you’re in your human body, but the margin is admittedly slim.

Tim enjoys being able to read you, relishing in his ability to decipher your emotions and engage in conversation with you when he needs a diversion from all the work. On that note, it's primarily about the control. He finds pleasure in being able to make you shift from one form to the other, keeping you drugged and pliant in his lap as a cat or asleep in human form on the couch next to him while he works.

Link to Chapter One, Link to Masterlist.

[vickyvicarious]

Thinking again of silence as a theme...

Vampires are silent - not literally, but they don't write documents for us to see. Even the documents we know they do write are all business, not personal records (which thematically contain Truth), and in fact often contain literal outright lies as well as being fundamentally lies (Dracula passing himself off as human).

Vampires silence others. Jonathan in the castle was unable to speak or express himself openly. There's 'silencing' of the mind in a way, with victims unable to recall what has happened to them, or to piece together the evidence that they should by rights be able to recognize. Lucy was literally silenced by becoming so weak it was difficult for her to talk, in addition to not knowing. Mina didn't mention her distress before she knew what was happening to her. Since she has begun turning Van Helsing has specifically noted Mina becoming more quiet overall and attributed that to vampiric influence. She is only able to speak freely at certain times when that influence is weakest (dawn and dusk) and we see it is an effort for her.

The diaries going silent for days while Mina slips further into death is another representation in my mind. Sure, they don't have much to write at the moment, and they do write when they have something to report. But also, she's linked to documents and to sharing information from early on. She's the one who says the thesis statement about it, she's the first one to really start sharing information. She's the one who types everything up in triplicate. And when the men keep her out at first, it lets the vampire in. Then we get the reverse when she requests they not tell her things because the vampire has access to her. The silence also generally reflects inactivity and despair (which vampires love to cause) a lot of the time, as seen with Jonathan's long silences in the castle, or Jack initially ending his diary after Lucy dies and there's nothing left to do for her.

There's also Jonathan's silence during this time. Today's entry written at his request, but not in his word. Days of silence around it. He doesn't speak the promise Mina asks for. Though he does read her the burial service, acknowledging and accepting that she might die - perhaps just not that he might not join her in that state (whether undead or not). He's silent about a lot of his later encounters with Dracula too, and his silence here as he willingly approaches closer to the idea of vampirism himself (so long as Mina is unwillingly doing so) is in a way kind of a reverse of what happens elsewhere.

Both Jonathan and Mina are to an extent willingly silencing themselves (her choosing not to be told things, him not speaking his thoughts) because of proximity to vampires which forcibly inflicts silence on them (the change making her silent, Jonathan's trauma and him not ever shown speaking aloud about it after it's over). And this is all in contrast to a bunch scenes where the two of them are communicating to one another but the narrative goes silent, giving them privacy in a way that isn't connected to vampirism at all.

I just never get tired of it, it's so interesting.

[intergalaactic]

i love the insane juxtaposition between how we talk about autism on tumblr vs on tiktok. on tiktok all everyone ever really discusses are the “easier” parts of autism, the “cute” ones like stimming, special interests and SOMETIMES, and HEAVY on the sometimes, they talk about the lack of tonal understanding and missing jokes and it’s like… dude that’s maybe 1/4 of what the Autism Experience™️ is… like i love tumblr bc we really talk about all the ugly parts on here like what is ACTUALLY means to go mute/nonverbal, or the daily struggles with hygiene and independence, the horrible feeling of knowing that you are fundamentally different from everyone around you and trying to mask but knowing they see through it and being compared to non human creatures to the point where you actually start feeling nonhuman!!! like okay missing the joke sometimes is annoying but yknow what’s worse? not being able to look after myself and knowing there’s a decently high chance that i’ll never be able to live alone. like i need tiktok autistic people to understand that in order for you to have autism, which is a disability, it does have to actually disable you first. i’m not saying that because they only post the “cuter” parts that they don’t have autism!! but like it’s an app full of teenagers and i feel the need to remind them that we all miss jokes sometimes, and we do all have interests and shows that we may really enjoy!! and that’s okay!!

but idk maybe i’m being bitter or smth i always get paranoid that i’m just being a hater but there’s not a single autistic person i know that hasn’t genuinely suffered bc of it in their lives whether it be in their social or personal or academic life. just a thought!!

[weird colours included bc huge chunks of text like this are gross to read otherwise lmfao]

[cuubism]

Made in an Instant (1/5)

part 3 of Wish, aka Dream's eldritch pregnancy

--

Hob had thought he knew what he was getting into with regards to pregnancy. He had seen it twice with Eleanor, after all. Not to mention having plenty of friends, family members, and acquaintances who had been pregnant over the years. Granted, things were more scientifically advanced and better understood nowadays, but such a fundamental human bodily process didn’t exactly change over time. And sure, Dream wasn’t human, but his pregnancy couldn’t be that different, right? So much of him was made up of the human unconscious, which included understandings of pregnancy. Right?

Boy was he wrong.

“He’s being a terror,” Matthew says, hopping at Hob’s side. They’re standing at the edge of the throne room, watching Dream loudly upbraid some tiny little pathetically harmless looking dream. Hob doesn’t know exactly what this is about, but he knows Dream has been kind of… erratic, lately. More than he usually is, being a dream and all.

It’s been several months now since Dream revealed his strange and improbable pregnancy and Hob hasn’t noticed any of the usual first trimester signs. Not that he knows if there are trimesters here. He doesn’t know fucking shit.

Dream is being erratic, though.

“You told him that?” he says to Matthew.

“Fuck no. I like not being bird stew.”

That does seem like a more likely than usual outcome, considering.

“It’s probably pregnancy hormones,” he says. Not that he knows if Dream has hormones. He hasn’t even been able to get a straight answer on whether Dream has a uterus now. He’d asked, and Dream had just said, you are assuming I did not have one before, which raised several questions and answered none.

Matthew squawks hysterically. “You can say that to his face if you want, dude. I’ll give your eulogy.”

Across the room, Dream yells, “I am NOT! ANGRY!”

Yells. Dream doesn’t yell. He Speaks With Ultimate Authority, when required. He doesn’t yell.

He’s yelling now.

“I simply need you to—” he continues, at incredible volume, as the poor dream that’s done whatever to piss him off cowers pitifully, and Hob decides to intercede before it gets out of control.

He strides over to the throne, and takes Dream by the arm. “Hey, Dream, I need your help for a moment, love.” And before Dream can protest, he practically drags him out of the throne room. Dream goes, seeming too surprised to argue.

“What ails you?” he asks as they stop in a side hallway, looking at Hob with all seriousness as if Hob might really be plagued by some terrible problem.

“Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you for a second. What’s going on?” He squeezes Dream’s hands. “Looks like you were scaring that little dream in there witless. Did he do something so terrible?”

“Scaring him?” says Dream, looking back towards the throne room as if only just now realizing how loud he was being. “That was not my intent,” he continues, deflating. “I am finding my patience to be… shorter. Than usual.”

“I could tell.”

Dream bristles, but Hob rubs his hands up and down his arms, soothing him. He’s not going to mention the pregnancy hormones, he’s not, Matthew is absolutely right about that being a surefire way to get his head bitten off.

Dream hasn’t been talking about it much at all, really. And Hob’s been trying not to press, because he knows Dream will be irritated if he feels Hob is treating him differently. They’ve continued on mainly as they were, seeing each other when Dream is available, going on dates and having sex or just laying about in Hob’s flat.

It’s fine, Hob tries to tell himself, to act like it’s all normal. It’s better than scaring Dream off with overprotectiveness and mother-henning.

“You want to take a walk with me?” he asks, offering Dream his hand.

Dream frowns. “You will likely wake soon.”

“All the more reason.”

Dream finally takes his hand, and Hob leads him through a door, one which leads, of course, right out into the flower gardens instead of dropping them ten stories down from the castle, as would be reasonable. Nothing in the Dreaming is reasonable, and Hob loves that.

Dream is quiet, more so than usual, as they walk through the hordes of wildflowers. There’s a pinch in his brow that suggests he’s thinking about something, perhaps deliberating on whether to say it. When Hob is finally about to break and ask what, Dream says, the words slow, but the question measured: “Are you not… happy about this?”

Hob blinks hard. Tries to go back through their earlier conversation and figure out where that jumped off from. “What?”

“I had expected that you would be… involved. Perhaps overly so,” Dream says, looking down. “At the beginning, you warned me that I might feel smothered, and yet I have found it to be very much the opposite. Nothing seems changed, if anything I cannot help but feel you have been distant from me.” He sounds sad as he speaks, but then his voice ticks up, as if anticipating a fight. “So I ask again, are you unhappy? Speak now if so, for I will not bring a child into—”

Hob listens to this in increasing horror, then finally manages to interject, “Dream, whoa. Whoa, easy. Pause a moment.” Christ, how has he been so far off base? He pulls Dream close, kisses the side of his head, speaks against his skin, holding him tight. “I’m not distant from you. I’m not trying to be. I just thought you would hate being treated any differently. I didn’t want you to think I felt you were incapable of living your normal life.”

Dream considers this. “You are not unhappy, then?”

Hob squeezes him tight, rocks him back and forth where they’re standing. Good work, Hob, he thinks. Make assumptions. See where that gets you. “I’m so happy. You’ve no idea how happy I am.”

Dream smiles and, if Hob’s not imagining it, all the flowers around them seem to bloom a little brighter.

“I’m so sorry, love,” Hob says, kissing his cheek. “Don’t go unhappy without saying something, yeah?”

Dream nods seriously, then takes Hob’s hand again as they continue their walk through the garden.

“You were not entirely wrong,” he concedes. “I admit that I would take offense if strangers or even my subjects were to treat me differently. But I am finding my feelings on the matter to be… different, when it comes to my husband.”

Hob pulls him close by the arm until Dream’s leaning against him. “You’ve no idea how much I’ve actually been wanting to coddle you,” he admits. “You deserve everything. You know that, right?”

“Mmm. As you say.”

“As I say,” Hob says, firm, and Dream chuckles.

“You have to tell me what to watch out for, though,” Hob adds. “This isn’t exactly a normal case. I don’t think helping with morning sickness is going to cut it.”

“I am fine,” says Dream. “I do not care to be nauseated, so I am not.”

“Sure, of course it works that way for you.” Mind over matter, Hob thinks. Or, mind only, no matter at all.

“The baby, likewise, feels fine,” Dream adds.

“I wouldn’t think the baby was developed enough to be feeling much of anything, right now, but I’m glad they’re doing okay.”

“That is where you are wrong,” says Dream.

Hob turns to look at him. “Come again?”

“While it is true that the baby’s ‘physical form’ is poorly developed at this time”—he says ‘physical form’ like it needs quotation marks, perhaps in the same way Dream’s own physical form requires quotation marks—“her emotions are strong and varied, if imprecise.”

“Did you say her?” Hob demands. How has this not come up? “How could you possibly know it’s a her?”

“I simply know,” says Dream solemnly.

While Hob tries to internalize this, as well as the fact that Dream can apparently feel the baby’s emotions, Dream adds, “It was not something I knew until quite recently. Not until the child herself did.”

That sounds like a lot of self-awareness for a child that’s about negative six months old, in Hob’s opinion. He has no idea what that bodes. He’s also realizing just how little they’ve really talked about it, and feels abruptly so much worse—he’d wanted to avoid making Dream feel like the only thing he wanted to talk about was the pregnancy, like he didn’t care about all of the other things that Dream is and does. But Dream’s in uncharted waters here, and Hob’s essentially left him out there alone.

“Tell me about it?” he says now, still holding Dream close by the arm. “You can feel her emotions?”

“I can feel her consciousness, and her power as it forms,” Dream says, sounding content now. “The Dreaming cradles her, and keeps her power safe, and controlled, as it develops.”

“It could get out of control?” Hob doesn’t particularly like the sound of the baby’s power, whatever it is, trying to war with Dream’s.

“As she grows, it is a possibility, but I can manage it,” says Dream. “My realm is, and will remain, far vaster, for she is part human.”

“Not Endless?” Hob asks. Having seen what Dream goes through, he’s not sure he would want the baby to be Endless. It seems an unenviable job.

“No. Not to that level,” says Dream. “Were she Endless, she could not have been conceived by us. But she does have a locus of power, a feeling that she harnesses… it is still coalescing and I am not yet certain of it. I can show you?”

This is said with some hope, as if he truly thinks Hob might not want to see it. “Can you do that?”

“In a sense.” He stops in the middle of the garden path, takes Hob’s hand and presses it to his stomach, under his shirt, skin to skin. He doesn’t feel pregnant at all, his stomach is completely flat—not that Hob would have expected much to show at this point even if he were human.

“Listen,” Dream says, and then— he must stop shielding the magic or something, because suddenly Hob can feel it.

A shimmering in the air around them. A swirling, ephemeral magic like iridescence on a soap bubble, like twinkling lights. A warm breeze gusts over him, carrying with it the smell of chocolate and candle smoke. Dream’s magic too can be whimsical and strange, but this is different, it’s bright and quick and oh-so-fleeting.

“Wow,” Hob murmurs, mesmerized, as Dream stands watching him, the breeze dragging his coat to the side. He’s not sure… he’s not sure this felt real to him, not until this moment. He’s not sure he truly believed it was happening. “You can feel that all the time?”

“Except for when she is sleeping, yes.”

“You’re incredible, Dream,” Hob says, and Dream fidgets, uncomfortable with the praise.

“It is not my magic,” he says.

“No, but you’re helping her manage it. And handling your own realm at the same time.”

“It is what I must do,” says Dream.

Hob leans in to kiss him, just lightly on the mouth, and Dream smiles. Then Hob pulls him close again, wraps an arm around his waist, releasing his hold on his belly and on the magic, which fades away back into the background hum of the Dreaming. “I love you,” he says. “You know?”

“I believe I do,” says Dream, dipping his head, looking pleased. And they continue walking on through the Dreaming gardens.

--

Another few months tick by. Dream comes to the Waking world more often—apparently “it’s quieter there than in the Dreaming”—though his work still keeps him busy, as always. Hob tries to distract him with casual outings, and by making him the few foods that he tends to eat, and encourages him to rest as much as he can.

Whenever Dream’s away, Hob’s been baby-proofing his flat. He’s well-aware that he’s going to be doing the bulk of the childcare, at least while the baby is awake. For better or worse, Dream basically is his job, and can hardly just bail at any time to do whatever he wants. Fortunately, Hob can—and he’s kind of looking forward to just dropping work for a year to spend time with the baby. It’s not something he’s ever done before, devote all his time to raising a child. It’ll be an adventure.

Maybe a little bit of a nightmare, too.

One good thing: with Dream as a parent, he’s not going to have to worry about the baby sleeping through the night. Thank fuck. He can imagine Dream at work in the Dreaming, their dreaming daughter strapped to his chest in a baby carrier and playing with some horrific looking doll Dream’s made out of dream sand. It’s an absurd but adorable image. The baby watching as Dream creates nightmares. Lording over the throne room as he disciplines his dreams. Babbling as Dream holds diplomatic negotiations with Lucifer—

“I shall not be taking our daughter to Hell,” says Dream, appearing behind him. Hob doesn’t jump, this time. He’s used to it by now, his gremlin of a husband.

“I think you like being sneaky,” he says, not even getting up from where he’s sitting on the ground, power drill in hand, halfway through building a crib. “Little stalker, you. Spying on my daydreams.”

“They were concerning,” says Dream, sitting down crosslegged on the floor beside him. He doesn’t help Hob with the crib, though, which is for the best as Hob can’t for his life imagine Dream wielding power tools.

He drives another screw into one of the crib legs, the drill’s loud whirring briefly drowning out their ability to talk. “I know you’re not going to take her to Hell. You know that I know you’re not going to take her to Hell.”

“Very well,” concedes Dream. “You have caught me out. I simply wanted to visit.”

“Don’t need an excuse, love.” Hob leans over to kiss him on the cheek. “Always want you here. Come and demand love any time you want.”

“‘Demand love,’” Dream mutters, as if that’s not exactly what he’s doing, what he wants. Like a cat that plops itself in your lap without so much as a hello.

“It’s yours to demand,” Hob says, and puts down the drill. The crib still only has two legs, but it’s standing, technically. Well, more like leaning. Eh, he’ll finish it later.

He scoots back against the base of the couch, and pulls Dream unceremoniously into his lap. Dream looks peeved about the manhandling but immediately curls up, tucking his head into Hob’s shoulder.

Hob pets up and down his side, and Dream vanishes his own coat back into sand, presumably to facilitate this touch. He’s so adorable.

“You know, it is a little sad you don’t have a proper baby bump,” Hob says. Dream would be showing by now if he was human, but his belly is the same as ever.

Dream says, “Mmph.” Actually enunciates Mmph, all disgruntled.

“It would be cute,” Hob insists.

“It would be annoying,” says Dream.

“Just for a little bit,” Hob counters. “You’d have the literal rest of eternity not to deal with it anymore. I think it’s fair trade for the cuteness.”

“I could show you the ‘cuteness’ of such bodily changes if you like,” Dream says darkly, though he doesn’t move from where his face is still planted in Hob’s shoulder, so he can’t be that peeved.

“…I genuinely can’t tell if you just mean you’re going to make me dream about the horrors of pregnancy, or if you actually want to impregnate me.”

Dream is silent for several very long moments. “Which would you prefer?”

And hell if that question doesn’t make something very strange flip around in Hob’s stomach. “One baby at a time, love,” he manages, voice almost a squeak.

Dream looks up at him, his expression hot and considering. But all he says is, “hmm,” before settling down again. Gonna go trawl through alllllll of Hob’s fantasies when he gets home, Hob bets. Monster.

“I could have crafted a more elegant cradle of dreams,” Dream informs him then, because he really is apparently in a pissy little mood. Hob’s inclined to give him more leeway about it right now, though—not that he doesn’t give him miles of it anyway.

“Oi,” he protests. “This is a perfectly serviceable crib! Besides, you don’t have to do everything.”

“It has but two legs,” Dream says of the crib.

“It’s incomplete.” Hob taps Dream’s belly. “And it doesn’t need to be complete until that’s complete. Worry about your part of things and I’ll worry about mine.”

“I will strive to,” Dream says. Then sighs. “It was not only my choice to visit today. I was becoming a distraction in the Dreaming. Or so I was told. By many.”

“They kicked you out?”

“They strongly encouraged”—it has the sound of a Lucienne quote—“me to leave for a break.”

It’s probably not the worst thing in the world. “Normally I’d expect a whole thunderstorm when you’re told that.”

“It irritated me greatly,” Dream agrees, either ignoring or just missing the gentle ribbing in Hob’s tone, “but I did not want to cause chaos. This is a delicate time for her.”

Hob can just hear Matthew’s reaction to that line in his head—oh you don’t want to cause chaos for the BABY? what are we, chopped liver?—but doesn’t mention it to Dream. “I think a lack of thunderstorms is probably best all around.” He cards his hand through Dream’s hair. “So’s you taking a break. You work too hard, you know.”

This is true always, but it seems even more true right now. Why he seems to be working harder while also dealing with the stresses of pregnancy, Hob doesn’t know. He doesn’t have anything to prove.

“You can take a step back for a while if you want,” he adds. “Nobody will think less of you, I promise.”

Well, maybe some of the more distant Dreaming residents, Hob doesn’t really know them all—but not those who truly see Dream. Hell, Lucienne and Matthew will probably be fucking thrilled if Dream takes a sabbatical.

“I believe I will after she is born,” Dream says, which Hob takes as its own small victory—even if he suspects it’s more because it’s what Dream thinks is best for the baby, rather than because he truly believes in letting himself rest. “For now, I am trying to ensure enough work is complete that it will be possible.”

“Don’t burn yourself out, darling,” Hob says. “Do it for my sake, so I don’t have to worry about you.”

“Perhaps I enjoy when you worry about me,” Dream murmurs, winding his arms tighter around Hob’s waist. “That I know you are thinking of me.”

“I’m always thinking of you,” Hob says.

Dream hums in pleasure, smiling against Hob’s throat. He would claim all of Hob’s attention if he could. Already does, pretty much.

“Sure you’re going to be able to share me with the baby?” he teases. “Babies require a lot of attention, you know.”

“Are you implying I could be jealous of my own daughter?”

“You could be jealous of a plant if I spent more than two seconds watering it instead of admiring your glory.”

“You will admire her glory, once you see it,” says Dream. And Hob can’t wait for that.

He holds Dream for a time. Eventually he has to insist they get up, as his legs are falling asleep, and unwinds Dream—who’s wound himself around Hob not unlike a plant himself—from him to maneuver him up to the couch. Dream curls against him again and sleeps, in the fashion that he does—something he only does when he truly is tired. Hob doesn’t wake him, not even when his limbs started to fall asleep again. Instead he cherishes this one small moment when Dream is letting himself rest.

[bookshelfdreams]

There were two great posts about Izzy yesterday, and I would like to expand on and add my 2 ct to the things said in them a little. One, by @celluloidbroomcloset (with additions by several others), about how Izzy immediately falls back into old patterns of manipulative behaviour after his supposed redemption in 02x07, only this time with Stede as the focus of said behaviours instead of Ed. The other, by @batsarebetterthanpeople, about how Izzy's behaviour in 02x06 and onward is more akin to the development a homophobe coming around to a queer loved one, than an arc of queer self-discovery.

Izzy's story isn't about himself. I think this is the first, fundamental mistake people make when engaging with it. He's not a protagonist; he doesn't exist in the story for his own sake. So when ofmd asks "How to reform a toxic person? What does it look like and is it even possible?", the starting point isn't one of empathy with Izzy.

It's one of empathy with Ed. ofmd is asking these questions not because it wants to understand Izzy better. What it wants to explore is the possibility of Ed having the relationship with Izzy Ed wants. Whether Izzy can be brought around to understanding Ed's wants and needs, whether he can understand the hurt he caused him.

This is a fundamentally different approach to how these stories are usually told. Usually, we start out with the unspoken assumption that the toxic person is well-intentioned, good at heart, and whatever pain they caused our protagonist is more akin to a misunderstanding than deliberate harm. Yes, they may have have caused hurt, but if you just see things from their perspective, you'll understand that they only had your best interest in mind, and that will enable you to forgive them.

Obviously this can't not veer off into victim blaming. "The abuser had a good reason for what they did, and therefore, it's your own fault. Or at the very least not theirs."

ofmd fundamentally rejects this. It is very careful to never let the bullies and abusers have a valid point. Abusers are abusive because they get something out of it. To truly reform an abuser, they would have to be willing to build a life for themselves that is a lot less comfortable. Where they have to consider other's feelings, communicate and compromise, meet other people on equal footing, instead of putting themselves in a position of authority. It means letting go of patterns of behaviour that they have so far been quite successful with*.

And Izzy - tries. He is interesting because part of him clearly wants to leave the toxicity behind. He gets to see what positive relationships, human connection, being part of a community look like; he's offered an outstretched hand, and, after biting it a few times, tentatively starts to take it.

But he can't quite get there. The temptation to fall back into what he knows is too strong. celluloidbroomcloset's post linked above talks mainly about 02x07, so I'm not gonna repeat all that, but I'm going to add two little scenes from 02x06 that further cement this. In the beginning of the episode, Izzy finds Ed as he's standing on deck, watching the sea, and the conversation that plays out is a clear mirror to, almost repeat of the Frankfurter clouds scene from 01x04. Ed tries to share an observation with Izzy in an attempt to reach out to him ("Something's wrong. Feels like a storm's coming but I can't see it."), which Izzy, of course, immediately dismisses ("Or maybe you're just a mopey twat and there is no fucking storm").

The second scene is, when Izzy is the only one discouraging Ed from following Stede to his cabin after he kills Ned Lowe. Discouraging support, discouraging connection and emotional honesty; Izzy will continue to try to isolate Stede.

Now, I do not think this, or the things happening in 02x07, are put in there deliberately to show that Izzy has ulterior motives. Rather, they are an illustration of how deep these maladaptive patterns of behaviour go. Izzy isn't able to fully admit to himself the extend of the harm he caused and this is what prevents him from truly changing his behaviour - even when he has just experienced the benefits of a loving, supportive community!

All of this is the explanation to the answer the show gives to our starting question: Is it possible for Ed to have the relationship with Izzy that Ed wants? And the answer is: No. Just because growth is possible, doesn't mean it is enough. Doesn't mean anyone's entitled to forgiveness. Sometimes, the only compassionate thing to do, is to take yourself permanently out of the other person's life.

But Izzy did learn, and he did grow. It's just that the purpose of said growth wasn't to heal him; it was to enable him to understand the hurt he caused to Ed. That doesn't have to mean people like Izzy can never be reformed, it just means that this isn't a story about the reformation of a toxic person. It's the story of leaving this toxicity behind.

And this is why Izzy's heartfelt apology followed by his immediate death is a positive ending. It represents the conviction that no relationship is so broken it can't be mended, but also the assurance that no relationship is so important it can't be ended.

Ed gets to hear the things he needs to hear most - I am sorry, I was wrong, you didn't deserve this - and then Izzy disappears from his life, and with him, all the toxicity he represents.

They can part on good terms, but part they must. So Ed can go into the rest of his life, unburdened.

*read Lundy Bancroft's "Why does he do that", seriously. The whole thing is on archive.org.

[queerprayers]

I'm a lifelong Christian and I've been struck with fear recently because I've never feared God. I love God so much, but I cannot fear anyone whom I love. Those two things can't go together in my mind. I think of 1 John 4:18 and I justified, but then I think of all of Proverbs (wisdom is the fear of God) or even some of Jesus' sayings (ex. Luke 12:5)... and I start feeling like a horrible Christian because I just can't imagine loving someone that I'm afraid of. I guess I am afraid sometimes of God showing me my guilt when I sin, but I'm not scared of God sending me into eternal hell or anything, because I wouldn't be able to believe in a God who'd do that to anyone. Is there another way to think about "fear of God"?

What a great topic, beloved! The answer is yes, there are many ways to think about the concept of "fear of God!" 

The first thing I want to bring up is that we have to be careful about moralizing emotions. As someone with a mood disorder, I know all too well that when we do this, we alienate people with emotional differences, and we also fundamentally misunderstand a lot. We cannot control our emotions. We can choose between reveling in them or moving on from them, we can learn ways to process them, we can identify whether they're helpful, but we cannot control them. Because of this, we cannot require certain emotions as a virtue. It's not realistic or helpful.

Fear, the way we usually talk about it, is an emotion. It can be a logical response or a completely illogical one. Someone with an anxiety disorder may experience fear in perfectly normal situations; someone with paranoia or a phobia may be afraid of completely safe situations. We may not feel fear in an unsafe situation because of recklessness or ignorance. 

Emotional responses to God are varied and uncontrollable—although with religious education and emotional intelligence, they can be useful. We can process our guilt to decide whether it's pushing us to change or keeping us trapped. We can process our joy and cherish when it is a response to holy things. We can let anger lead us to work for justice. We can honor our grief at injustice but work to not let it paralyze us. We can love worldly things or eternal things. Again, I don't want to moralize emotion, but rather honor it as a part of the human experience and use it to serve God.

You're afraid because you don't fear God—this comes out of a desire to be a "good Christian," to cultivate in yourself what is holy. Ironically, your fear is leading you to God, the kind of fear you were afraid you didn't have. Now if fear of being a horrible Christian traps you, if it causes you not to care for yourself, if it keeps you from experiencing the joy of Christianity, we know it isn't serving you. But it can, and it may be doing so right now, pushing you to think further about this.

To see fear as a virtue, though, we have to look beyond uncontrollable emotional responses. We have to see it in Scripture in all its many facets. You have identified two completely different verses on fear—showing us that fear can be can be the enemy of perfect love, and also a logical response to a God that has ultimate power. Fear can prevent us from reaching out (being afraid), or it can be an awareness of our own lack of power, our dependence on God, and result in surrender. Anxiety is a shutting in; reverence is a reaching out.

I cheated and used the Wikipedia page to find this, but Pope Francis said that

The fear of the Lord, the gift of the Holy Spirit, doesn’t mean being afraid of God, since we know that God is our Father that always loves and forgives us,...[It] is no servile fear, but rather a joyful awareness of God’s grandeur and a grateful realization that only in him do our hearts find true peace.

We don't fear God because we don't trust him—we fear offending God because we love God, we fear losing God because we are completely dependent on God, we fear forgetting God's love because that's the only meaning in the universe.

I've really valued C.S. Lewis's perspectives on fear—I don't have The Problem of Pain with me right now, but the Wikipedia page for "numinous" helpfully quotes it:

Suppose you were told there was a tiger in the next room: you would know that you were in danger and would probably feel fear. But if you were told "There is a ghost in the next room," and believed it, you would feel, indeed, what is often called fear, but of a different kind. It would not be based on the knowledge of danger, for no one is primarily afraid of what a ghost may do to him, but of the mere fact that it is a ghost. It is "uncanny" rather than dangerous, and the special kind of fear it excites may be called Dread. With the Uncanny one has reached the fringes of the Numinous. Now suppose that you were told simply "There is a mighty spirit in the room," and believed it. Your feelings would then be even less like the mere fear of danger: but the disturbance would be profound. You would feel wonder and a certain shrinking—a sense of inadequacy to cope with such a visitant and of prostration before it—an emotion which might be expressed in Shakespeare's words "Under it my genius is rebuked." This feeling may be described as awe, and the object which excites it as the Numinous.

Proverbs states multiple times that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom—not guilt, not an eternal state of being afraid, not self-hatred, not doom. When it is an understanding of our dependence on God, our recognizing how small we are and how much power God has, when we realize that everything real to us is a pitiful reflection of what is in store, that is where we find wisdom in this life. 

Proverbs also tells us that to fear the Lord is to hate evil (8:13). 16:6 says that evil is avoided through the fear of the Lord. Job 28:28 tells us that the fear of the Lord is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding. We see here fear of God leading us to good works and obedience—if it's not leading us anywhere, it's stagnation. (The same with guilt.)

Another place fear of God leads us is life and rest (Proverbs 14:27; 19:23). Fully understanding and submitting ourselves to God, knowing how afraid we would and should be without that rock, we can rest knowing that we have God, the fountain of life.

Another interesting thing besides evil that fear of God is set against is arrogance/pride. Romans 11:20 says, "Do not be arrogant, but tremble." Proverbs 22:4: "Humility is the fear of the Lord." When we set ourselves as the center of the universe, when we think we're in control, when we cling to earthly things, we are not in that state of reverence. 

Fear of God is holy—but over and over, God tells us to not be afraid. So what's the difference between these fears? Fear of earthly things (the emotion) is a logical response to the very real dangers we experience. But when we make that a state of being, when we don't move anywhere, we're not trusting God. Fear of God, on the other hand, is that ultimate trust and awareness. "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe" (Proverbs 29:25).

Fear keeping us safe seems an oxymoron if we define it as an emotion, which is an earthly experience. We have to look further. We have to understand that the logical response to an all-powerful God is being afraid, but the first thing an angel meeting us would say is, "Be not afraid." Fear the one who has the authority to throw you into hell, yes, but worship the one whose love drives out that fear. 

You may have skipped the first step—your love of God is admirable. But leave some room for awe, for the strangeness of religion, for the reality of your lack of power. If fear comes up, let it lead you to Life. Don't try to control your emotional responses, but cultivate a spirit of reverence. And keep thinking. Keep finding seemingly conflicting Bible verses. You're not a horrible Christian—you're just a Christian. Not to be a Lutheran, but you cannot by your own reason or strength believe in Jesus Christ or come to him—but the Holy Spirit has called you, and will not meet you in the middle, but rather make all the steps and land where you are. And the only response that I have ever found is to surrender.

<3 Johanna

[krashlite]

C!Pearl’s a character who people usually only analyze from DL onwards, with her Scarlet Pearl arc influencing future seasons. However, I think it’s very important to look at LL when talking about her, since that season formed a lot of her fundamental viewpoints in this game, viewpoints she’s forced to unpack in later seasons.

LL was the most chaotic and violent season BY FAR, even including LimL! The deaths in LimL were very much gamified, while in LL every life counted. The main lesson the three newcomers learned is that the world is cruel and they can never truly trust anyone. Well, except Pearl didn’t learn that second lesson

Mumbo and Lizzie both spent LL in a constant state of either panic or confusion, with there being a few very brief breaks between. This is the case for LL in general, but with the newcomers it’s so much more startling. They don’t know how this goes, and they see Experienced players paranoid alongside them.

Not to mention Mumbo and Lizzie were constantly put in situations where they couldn’t trust the people around them, whether it be because of a boogeyman or any other reason. With them being in a group of 4-5 people, there was a much higher chance of them being betrayed and they never let themselves relax

Pearl definitely experienced the same panic and confusion, but she adapted much quicker than they did. This is mostly due to Scott being her ally- him being pretty consistent and calm as a person. Not to mention, Pearl only had a single person to worry about, when other alliances had 4-5 people to consider. Any one of them could turn and still have a place with the other members, but a group of two didn’t

(Also sidebar, 3L turned into a game of factions, so in LL everyone immediately started with factions, the exceptions being Ren, Lizzie, Pearl, and Scott. Ren was recovering from his Red King arc and ashamed of his former self, while Pearl and Lizzie were new and hadn’t been adopted into a group like Mumbo had. Scott’s reasoning for picking a small group is that he only stayed safe in 3L when him and Jimmy were fairly isolated, so that’s why he will usually opt for a group of two. Anyways)

Since Scott Only had her, he wasn’t about to turn on her and Pearl knew this. When Cleo later joins the group, she isn’t a risk either due to the circumstances of her joining. Cleo was betrayed, they were killed by a boogeyman in their group. BigB’s betrayal hit so hard that Cleo named him her sworn enemy. Why would they turn on Pearl if this affected them so much? Pearl is able to lean on them comfortably, even as the rest of the server begins to target the alliance (for a green name I might add! Pearl was safest for the longest amount of time this season)

Pearl could trust her team, and her team was honestly well provided for. They had nether goods, they had a spawner, Pearl had enough lives to keep them stable for a few deaths. They’d managed to defend themselves against Constant invasions and weren’t backing down anytime soon.

As for others, Pearl only ever saw them if they wanted to rob her or kill her, having very few interactions outside of that. This establishes that theft and threats are one and the same, with robberies threatening their resources and their survival and threats being, well, threats

The main lesson Pearl learns here is that her team are the only people she can trust, and she trusts them wholeheartedly. They will always have her back, they will always steer her in the right direction. The world is hostile, but they’ll face it together. What Pearl doesn’t learn is impulse control. Her impulse control came in the form of Scott and Cleo, with them being much more cautious than she is

Because of them, Pearl made it to the final four in her FIRST SEASON. This is incredibly impressive, Especially considering how, again, LL was the most violent and chaotic season. She might’ve fallen in the final melee, but she rested easy knowing her teammate won. She had gotten him there, and counts it as a personal victory

When DL rolls around, Pearl employs the same tactics as the last season. LL had a very quick race for resources at the start, specifically for sugar cane and goods from the nether. So Pearl assumes it’s the same thing. She’s preparing for the same chaotic environment as LL and is reassured by the soulmate feature

In her mind, her soulmate is her one designated ally. She trusts them wholeheartedly and assumes they feel the same. No matter what they face, she knows they’ll face it together

Except that isn’t what happens

As it turns out, Scott was her soulmate. But she overlooked one key detail about him- Scott plays it safe. He doesn’t endanger himself unless absolutely necessary. She’d previously assumed it was a matter of practicality, but really it’s a means of defending his own peace above all else, even at the expense of others

So her little trip to the nether with Martyn didn’t just endanger them, it endangered their soulmates. It endangered Cleo and it endangered Scott

Their response is to abandon their soulmates because they felt abandoned. They don’t feel that they can trust their soulmates because of the fact that said soulmates were prioritizing a dangerous mission over them. Except Pearl doesn’t understand this. All she sees is that they abandoned her after she went on a dangerous mission For Them, a mission she would have been previously praised for

Pearl is dropped by the very people she trusted with her life last season, and she doesn’t know Why. To say this crushes her is an understatement

It wasn’t just a rejection from her former friends, it’s a betrayal of a fundamental worldview she developed last season. How could a group that was basically family abandon her just like that? If her designated ally wanted nothing to do with her, then whats the point in trusting anyone?

That last question is pushed to the side, with her insisting on Tilly being her true soulmate. Tilly would never abandon her, she can trust Tilly wholeheartedly. Except Tilly dies almost immediately afterwards, starting her Scarlet Pearl arc

(And I do want to say, I consider Tilly to be fully Dead. The second wolf was a different wolf entirely, but Pearl was in a state of delirium and wanted so badly to have someone to rely on. If it couldn’t be another player, then it would be her dog. Funnily enough, this actually comes up later but that’s an asterisk*)

This arc was basically a constant downwards spiral for Pearl. Any foundation she had was immediately uprooted, any alliance she formed immediately fell apart. This stressed her out to the point she wasn’t sleeping and frequently acted out against the people in her surroundings. Pearl was not maintaining herself in the slightest, her mental state affecting those around her. The main examples I can think of is her stealing horses and sitting in powdered snow to punish Scott, both of which do have explanations

Again, Pearl is basing her actions off of LL, even if she doesn’t realize it. Her alliance was robbed over and over again, usually for things like sugar cane and nether goods. These are things that are high value because they help a team survive. When it comes to pets and livestock, they really weren’t considered unless they were being held ransom. In LL, being stolen from was a threat to someone’s survival

Except this isn’t LL and Pearl is just starting to realize that, with every alliance being stable from an outside perspective. She’s using these thefts to test the waters. If something happens, she’s right to be paranoid and right to lash out. If nothing happens, she can relax, which she does! After stealing Scar’s horse she does briefly stop tormenting the server, instead going back to watching the others.

(^^ I might have the timeline wrong here btw it’s been a second)

As for Scott, her sitting in powdered snow has different connotations than it does for other alliances. She isn’t the only person to hurt her soulmate in this way, Scar actually being the one to suggest this. For Scar it was a harmless but irritating way to get back at Grian for kicking out the Jellie Pandas. It hurt, but it wasn’t meant to actually endanger the other (still abuse btw, just a different kind). For Pearl, her sitting in powdered snow was a tactic intended to make Scott feel unsafe. If he valued his precious security so much that he kicked her to the wolves, then she won’t let him have a moment’s peace.

But going back to the horses- stealing Ren and BigB’s horse was the moment things changed for her. This theft resulted in both of them dying, confirming the idea that thefts threaten someone’s survival. Except Pearl never meant to endanger them, as shown with her defending their items when none other than Scott and Cleo come to scavenge them.

When Ren and BigB return, it’s Pearl who gets blamed for the death, not the circumstances. The blame shifts from the world being cruel, to Pearl herself being cruel. Pearl is unable to cope with this, isolating in response. She sees every other pair finding peace and joy in one another, but she destroys everything she touches. In her mind, she IS the cruelty that exists in the world and nobody is coming to save her.

I think Pearl actually blames herself for Ren and BigB falling apart, which she finds out about when Ren and Martyn “summon” her. This actually affirms the lesson she Just learned, with her accepting the role of Scarlet Pearl. Previously, it was just an act but now it felt more real

She goes on to purposefully endanger others, seeing this as her true role on the server. Pearl had been wearing her red skin before this, but that was only to show her state of mind. Now, she was fully playing into this role, as seen with the fishing rod incident and, again, stealing armor from Boat Boys as a means of threatening their survival

I don’t think Pearl expected to be threatened in return, and her subsequent death did give her a moment of clarity. She was made to understand that her existence in this state was inherently risky, and she needed to be more careful. I think that was the driving force for her seeking out Scott and Cleo to form a tentative alliance. Pearl hasn’t forgiven them at this point, but knew she needed them if she was to last. This forces her to have some level of impulse control, instead of only relying on those around hee

Them being her failsafe put her in a difficult situation when it comes to her Scarlet Pearl role. She was a “Red,” that’s her job, but her team still needed her. But they’re not her team, but she needs them, but she can’t trust them, not after what they did.

But she has to, and that’s what ultimately brings her to side with them; necessity. She doesn’t like them, she doesn’t trust them, a sentiment they return, but she needs them.

The world is cruel, Pearl is cruel, and she needs to defend herself and her own peace- a lesson that, funnily enough, she picked up from Scott

Ultimately Pearl doesn’t learn to care about either of them until the moment she dies. ESPECIALLY Cleo, who ended up siding with Martyn in the end. But it’s Scott’s sacrifice that cuts through the callous she’d developed over the course of the season. He gave his life for her. Scott sacrificed himself FOR HER. The action doubles as changing her perception of him as a person and changing her perception of the world. Scott wasn’t the selfish man she made him out to be, and the world wasn’t filled with senseless cruelty.

Pearl hasn’t learned to trust again, but she’s able to begin the process in LimL

Enter: BigB

BigB’s someone who has had shaky alliances over the ENTIRE series. This started in 3L when the other two Blue Sword Boys ended up on opposing sides of a war, him trapped between them. He learned that season that ultimately he was the only person he could trust. In LL, his initial decision to stay with Cleo then the fairy fort was one made out of necessity, NOT trust. BigB was a sitting duck on his own, and he wasn’t about to have a repeat of last season he got targeted over and over again for being isolated.

And I do think that he cared about the Fairy Fort, they gave him a sense of genuine security that he hasn’t had before. So him being the cause of the Fairy Fort’s collapse gave him a Crisis

The last person he was able to trust that season was Ren, and Ren ended up being his soulmate in DL. Except due to the cheater’s arc BigB blames himself their demise in DL as well (Again, there was shared blame across all parties I made an entire long post about this already).

So BigB is going into LimL with the same lesson Pearl has just begun unpacking; They are the cruelty/danger that exists in the world and can never truly rely on anyone

(Also second sidebar, this is something I love about LimL. Everyone coincidentally got an alliance with matching wounds, but moving on)

The first thing Pearl actually does this season is try to retrieve Tilly, her dog she thinks is still alive. (And here’s that asterisk*) what actually happens is Martyn jokes that he cremated her dog, and Pearl’s unintentionally forced to understand that her dog is dead, she’s Been dead since the start of DL. Breaking apart that delusion was actually Very important to her breaking apart her worldview. If that information was false, what else was she wrong about?

And this is explored through her alliance with BigB. See, the Nosey Neighbors were a fresh start for both of them. They both were re-learning how to trust themselves and others, relearning how to care for others and be cared for in turn. Them watching the server was a lighthearted way to vent their paranoia- again, both unpacking how they view the world and how they view themselves

LimL as a season did a lot to defang the games, for lack of a better term. The deaths were very much gamified, they weren’t nearly as serious as they previously were. Pearl and BigB used this environment to reflect on themselves. The world was chaotic, yes, but it wasn’t as cruel as they thought it was. THEY aren’t as cruel as they thought they were

Pearl makes the decision to be his protector, treating this as a test to show she doesn’t destroy everything she touches. Except, she hasn’t unpacked how she sees herself as cruel, only points that “cruelty” away from those she cares about, and that’s why acting as Protector comes so naturally to her

This is reinforced over the course of the season, but it’s only ever confronted towards the end after Grian’s plan resulted in the three of them being shot. BigB was left with under a minute left, causing Pearl to panic. Pearl immediately insisted he kill her for more time, with BigB panicking in turn because he “didn’t know how.” He was scared of breaking the bond they’d developed over the season and Pearl cut through that fear without hesitation

And here’s where her role as protector is solidified. The world is cruel and unjust, and everyone deserves to have someone to rely on. Pearl would be the foundation for others since nobody else was going to be.

Pearl had already made a promise to herself and to BigB to get him to the end. He would win that season if she had anything to say about it. Except Pearl isn’t able to keep her promise to BigB. He dies just out of eyeshot, and she is helpless to save him

Pearl doesn’t give up on being a protector, this decision influencing a lot of her actions in SL. She wants to be a solid foundation for the Mounders because she knows the importance of having that foundation- she knows the pain a lack of foundation can cause.

Also, the Mounders being a larger group acts as proof that she’s able to trust others again, even if that doesn’t register to her. Remember, LL created the precedent that larger groups are more dangerous, with smaller alliances being much safer. Pearl being able to function comfortably in a group of 4 just goes to show how much she’s grown as a character

SL goes on to challenge her new worldview in several ways. First it was Mumbo turning Red, him becoming excessively violent like he’d been in LL. This actually acts as a mirror to Pearl’s former self, since Mumbo’s pulling from the same logic she was pulling from in DL. Remember, Mumbo hasn’t been in other seasons, his only experience with the games was the confusion and paranoia of LL (I think the lighthearted confusion of the tasks actually triggered his and Lizzie’s paranoia, but that’s another essay). He hasn’t had a chance to unpack that like Pearl has, and she sees this as a failure on her part, doubling down on her Protector role for Joel and Bdubs

Second, Joel and Bdubs, losing their lives. Pearl was forced to reckon with the fact that she cannot keep them safe in the same way she couldn’t keep BigB safe last season. It brings back her fears of destroying everything she touches, even though she worked so hard to unpack that last season. She sees them dying as her failing to be their protector, and her clinging to Scar is a response to that. Pearl needed to prove to herself that she can save Someone, that she doesn’t destroy everything she’s a part of.

Pearl also sees Scar as an echo of who she was in DL, same as Mumbo. She refuses to let him spiral in his isolation. Except, circumstances make it clear to her that she cannot save him by being his protector, she cannot save him at all.

And so she attempts to sacrifice herself for him, just like Scott had done for her. Pearl thinks she will ultimately cause his demise and the only thing she can do is give her life for him

But Scar immediately shoots that idea down.

This is because Scar was unpacking the exact same idea- the idea that he is inherently cruel and destroys everything he touches. Scar recognized that Pearl was self destructing and Did Not Let Her. Pearl wasn’t allowed to be his protector, she’s allowed to be his ally, his equal

Pearl in turn is allowed to see herself not as a force to be controlled, but a person. I don’t think she even realized how she’d been dehumanizing herself until this moment

And I think she has conflicting feelings on Scar’s victory. On the one hand, she achieved her goal in having an ally make it to the end. On the other, Scar’s victory challenged what it even meant to win the games. Pearl doesn’t know if the victory was worth the path it took to get there, and she’s left in that headspace until the next season

[pangurbanthewhite]

Hey guess what it's time to talk more about Stray Gods.

Specifically about the concept of "reactive narrative" in video games and how I think Stray Gods executes it as gracefully as you can possibly execute on the concept.

I think a lot of people balk at how choice-based games do and can only change in a limited way based on your choices. Which is a shame, because only being able to change in limited ways is a hard rule of both hardware and the concept of a story.

I think the games that handle it best are the games that lean into that fact. They should flesh out those limited choices as much as possible rather than try to stretch them to their breaking point. They should accept the reality that there WILL be fixed points in the narrative and build around them.

Example - Pan will always turn up in your apartment early on in the game and lead you into the "tutorial" song that is "I Can Teach You". But, based on your choices, the song can sound entirely different.

And that's if you stick to one color exclusively over another. You can weave the choices in and out to create dozens of unique instances.

The choices you make do not fundamentally change anything beyond the song, excluding the last choice. But those choices set the tone for what kind of story you are going to tell. Is it a story of how Grace, even when granted the powers of a god, still values her humanity and cherishes her human bonds? Or is it a story of how Grace, who begins by feeling adrift and out of place, immediately chases down any chance she has at belonging somewhere, at having a purpose? Is Pan a mentor or a source of suspicion? How big of a part does Freddie play?

Your thought processes behind making a choice, your reasons for choosing red over blue, do make a story unique as much as your choice to let Aphrodite "live" or "die". I think you have to accept that if you really want to get a lot out of these kinds of games.

Some scenes WILL always happen, and that's okay! That's good, even! Because differences in the journey matter just as much as differences in the destination! You might always wind up in the same place, but you will have told a different story in getting there. You'll be in a different headspace, you'll bring different baggage, you'll have had some different conversations which drive you to feel differently about characters along the way.

Freddie does always die, yes, but if you've spent the entire game flirting with her, expressing affection and admiration for her, traveling to find her in the Underworld leans so heavily into the Orpheus and Eurydice parallels. Orpheus becomes a dark mirror of Grace as much as Persephone.

Do you retrieve a Freddie that you love from the Underworld because of that love, or do you retrieve a friend as much out of spite, as if to prove that you can succeed where Orpheus failed? Is godhood worth her friendship? Is godhood worth her love? Are you making a sacrifice at all, or are you glad to be rid of these powers that you never asked for? Freddie returns either way, but your motivations have changed the story.

I'm getting a bit lost in the weeds here, but hopefully people get what I'm going for. The fact that, ultimately, Grace is going to wind up on trial against Athena, with the primary differences being whether or not Freddie is there driving the song, or whether it's Aphrodite in one body standing there vs. another, doesn't invalidate the choices and the uniqueness of the journey to get there.

And I cannot stress enough that the potential variation in any given song is so impressive. I'm genuinely kind of bummed that there's no way to listen to some of the versions I made, that I feel like really added to the story I was trying to tell.

And, most importantly, I think Stray Gods understood that this kind of variances gets infinitely more complicated and precarious the longer a game goes. 6 to 8 hours is almost certainly your upper limit possible. Anything much beyond that, and the variations you have to account for spin out into something approaching infinity. And, yes, they do and can get much less meaningful as a result.

IDK! I like this game a lot. I think it did some really cool and inspired things in really cool and inspired ways. And I think its understanding of how to use player choice within the narrative and hardware constraints of a video game is one of those things.

[renardtrickster]

Also because bringing up "I watched Hazbin Hotel" and only talking about discourse is a Bad Look, here's my thoughts on the pilot and the four episodes thus far released.

I've seen some people say the animation in the show is less fluid in the pilot, but I think I like the show's animation more? It's a lot more consistent, the characters are shaded so they stand out from the background more (and kind of "pop"), but honestly a passing vibe I got in the pilot now and then was that it was "too fluid", like it moved too fast at places or like it had a lot of "flourishes" that felt off. I can't accurately explain it, but point is, I like the show's vibes more.

I also like the redesigns. I didn't notice anything too drastic with say Dust, Alastor, or Charlie, but Vaggie's was an upgrade. The red shirt breaks up the white, and she's looking much more Moth (the more Moth your characters look the better).

I don't really have anything to say about the voices, my attention was divided elsewhere. I will be committing seppuku later for not being able to have a strong, belligerent opinion on this matter.

Speaking of Vaggie, now that I've seen more of her character, I've grown to appreciate her more. There's a sort of 4-section graph where Charlie and Vaggie believe in the Hotel's success, with Charlie being much more personally emotionally invested in it while Vaggie's more cynical and seems to be doing it more for Charlie's sake. Meanwhile Angel Dust and Alastor don't believe the Hotel can succeed, but Alastor still helps while Angel Dust just blows things off.

Also everyone who did the "she's an Angry Latina stereotype" thing can eat shit now. She was angry in the pilot because Angel Dust publicly embarrassed her girlfriend, tarnished any credibility the Hotel had, and then insulted her to her face while being unrepentant the entire time. Now that we've seen more from her, she's just grumpy and more willing to put her foot down (as opposed to Charlie who is bubbly and more accommodating). I knew this specific accusation was bad faith from day 1.

I genuinely don't think the show is edgy. It "appears" edgy, but Charlie's a disney princess who walked onto the wrong set and is shifting the genre through her presence. The fact that her goal is to show that people in Hell can change and become better people isn't just portrayed as earnest (instead of naive) but it is in fact achievable (as shown by Pentious and the others over time) adds onto this. The show is a fundamentally hopeful and positive one and I respect it for that.

In line with that, I appreciate the musical numbers. They bop, I didn't need to tell you this, but they also fall into the category of "endearing through earnesty". Like Charlie singing to Pentious about how change begins with an apology is the corniest shit on earth, but I couldn't help but smile about it.

I do like the speed of the plot, both the "redeeming people" plot and the "expedited extermination" one. I cynically expected Pentious' redemption to be a red herring, but the fact that he stuck around and is turning over is something I approve of. It is a bit fast at times though, I do know that this is because there's only 8 episodes, but I choose to blame the studio/streaming platform over the writers on this one. Also, we should throw bricks through the window of every streaming service headquarters.

I did like Adam's portrayal. The original Adam and Eve myths, whether or not Lilith is there, do lend themselves to misogyny, both in terms of reading and "what influenced some doctrine". Between Lilith being cast out for not wanting to be subservient to a man/wanting to top and then having sex with animals and demons or something, and Eve getting duped by the snake and now humanity's been cursed with original sin because femoids are dumb and bad and men should make the decisions, etc. etc. Adam being depicted as a misogynistic frat bro-type who is obsessed with his dick and brags about his conquests to random people reads to me more as "a clever take/commentary on christian mythology and culture" instead of "gratuitous edginess".

Honest to god, I think they're better at using swear words now. My principle criticism of Helluva Boss (which I like) is that they sometimes use "fuck" like it's punctuation, and it can get grating or become "noise" that doesn't register, which is Bad when it's your funny dialogue. Cursing is still casual, but I feel like characters only turn on the capslock and start screaming FUCKING SHITASS when they're emotionally compromised or intentionally meant to come across as crude and unlikeable. If they took notes and course-corrected on this, I will never wear a hat because it's going to be off to them forever.

Angel Dusts' voice direction in episode 4 was really good. He usually speaks in a somewhat high-pitched, New York ("new yoike") accent, but when he was yelling at Charlie to leave I noticed that it seemed to get a bit deeper and he lost the accent, as though he was so upset he couldn't keep up the affect anymore. I got chills.

TL;DR Hazbin Hotel is good, actually.

Maybe people should take more breaks from using the internet, for their mental health.

[purgemarchlockdown]

I think Mahiru being a literature student is very important to consider when understanding her because Mahiru is a character built around Narrative, well everyone is to some extent (I need to finish that post) but Mahiru especially because she's someone who's main vision of love is influenced by Storytelling.

She sort of subtle but you can see it how she talks about romance, as she says:

Mahiru: [disappointed] I have a pretty poor vocabulary, so I can’t describe it beyond clichéd phrases.

Admitting to only being able to describe love based on commonly repeated ideas in stories and media, soap operas, shoujo manga, films, and so on. The first thing we see Mahiru doing is TIHTBILWY is read.

Mahiru: Yeah, yeah. You’ll deny it at first. I mean, I was like that as well. Before then, I always admired soap operas and shoujo manga because I thought that they depicted a world different from our own. 

She's admiring the idealized idea of love rather than the real thing, and you can see that in how she describes it.

Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let's just overheat together

Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad

This idealized idea of a person who can always be there and share in her pain no matter what she does or the circumstances their in.

If they don't then:

Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?

But stories are forms of communication, and stories, especially the highly idealized romance stories Mahiru seems to gravitate towards. Can promote regressive and conservative gender roles and ideas. Ones that Mahiru seems to have accepted she needs to fufill to reach the societal line of acceptability.

Mahiru: Hm? I do~ Cooking, washing, cleaning, I love doing all those sorts of things~ Fufufu, I passed all my self-imposed training to become the perfect wife with flying colours! Yuno: Wow, incredible… I don’t know whether to call that old-fashioned or what. ……isn’t it a pain?

TIHTBILWY is presented as a Maganize, it's fundamentally something people buy and subscribe to. Mahiru is very much a character shaped by gendered narratives is society and I think that's interesting.

[splonk-fox]

Tobecky is one of those ships where it's like, at first glance, you ask why people even see it as a viable pairing. It's not like Becky and Tobey are exactly shown getting along often, it's not the healthiest ship out there, as a matter of fact there are... certain episodes that make the pairing downright toxic (Looking at you Go Gadget Go).

Yet at the same time, I think that's what I like about the ship. In real life, relationships are never a straight path, they require effort from both sides and nine times out of ten there will be road blocks, times when partners do objectively questionable things, that's just how relationships are, and in a weird roundabout way, I feel like Tobecky is a good example of that. Sure Becky and Tobey fight a lot, they disagree about a lot of things and do things that upset each other, but they also understand one another on a fundamental level.

Seriously the parallels between these two is actually sort of surreal. They've both been lumped into this box of being one thing, said thing being expected of them. Becky is expected to do hero work as WordGirl, and Tobey, while nothing is forcing him to be evil, episodes like "Tobey Goes Good" show that when it comes to his mentality, doing bad things is the only way to get people's attention, to make people care about him.

They're both child prodigies who, in a lot of ways, are locked out of a lot of the things that other kids have. Both have families who could never really understand them. Becky for obvious reasons, and Tobey because, as made pretty clear through episodes the center around him, his mother doesn't tolerate his behavior and as far as we can tell, has never tried to understand why he does what he does, instead giving him corporeal punishment via ear pulling (which by the way, she does that to him even when he, to her knowledge, hasn't misbehaved, kinda fucked up if you ask me, coming from someone who had parents who used physical punishment as a way to reprimand their kids).

Another thing to point out when it comes to these two, is that they are both pretty arrogant, Tobey more apparently so than Becky, but Becky clearly takes pride in being WordGirl, and even beyond that there are times where she views her own opinions as above others, whether she realizes it or not. Obviously Tobey is called out on it more, but there are clear signs that Becky's status as a superhero has lead her to gaining a bit of an ego.

Really though, the big thing that I think draws people to this pairing is the rare moments where they aren't fighting, and are instead sitting down, talking, and it's when that happens that the two of them are actually able to get along, that they're able to understand each other, because in a lot of ways, they are the same, just on two different sides of the moral spectrum. I think this is best shown in "The Robot Problem" where the two of them are shown to legitimately be able to work together, Becky even saying that they make a good team.

So to summarize, the thing that makes Tobecky good, at least for me, is not that it's the safest ship, or that it doesn't have moments of toxicity, but rather in how it feels more realistic, more complex than your average pairing, the fact that when it comes down to it, Tobey and Becky understand each other, loathe as they are to admit it.

Alright, that's all. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[vechter]

Top 5 Dick and Bruce moments or things

it's gotta be what faith tells dick in JLA (1997) #73

just the implications of it all. how bruce recognizes he hurts people, whether its criminals or the people who have chosen to love him. but still. still. he is immensely and immeasurably proud of dick. he can never say it, he wouldn't know how to even begin to tell dick how much dick means to him. also the crazy thing- we all know dick is insane about bruce and how endlessly devoted he is to him. but bruce is equally insane about him in his own neurotic way. he puts dick on a pedestal (he is right to) but just how fucked up of him. bonus scene from the obsidian run (#76) that always makes me grin:

2. this one is from robin: year one (2000) #4

so bruce fired dick after two face nearly beat him to death with a bat and dick ran away and managed to end up joining a league of assassins vengeance school under this dude named shrike. i won't bore you with even more plot but something about this panel just kills me. they're both so lonely and desperate for each other's partnership. bruce knows he miscalculated firing dick even if it was for dick's safety- dick isn't going to stop being a vigilante just bc batman said so (bruce u fucking idiot) and i think this instance of firing, while glossed over later in favour of the whole two-face of it all did sth that changed their dynamic fundamentally and irrevocably. it is probably the catapult for all of dick's future doubts and insecurities about his role and place in bruce's life. meanwhile, bruce giving dick agency in what he wants to do next- he needs dick just as much as dick needs robin. it's incredibly sad because i think there is a part of bruce that believes dick is only coming back to be robin, a doubt furthered when dick eventually forms the titans and loses all semblance of a life outside the mask.

3. this one is from outsiders: five of a kind - nightwing/boomerang (2007)

basically, dick decided to hand over the outsiders to batman and this is owen boomerang, the son of the guy who killed tim's dad. this is post-adoption so dick is more secure in his role as bruce's son. and just sth about how dick won't stand for people criticizing bruce, even when he might be thinking unfavourably of bruce. bc he can do that. but other people? no dice. also the added angst from owen talking about his own dad and his own version of legacy. i like to think dick probably felt some type of way about owen yelling out 'he was my father' bc while dick probably hasn't ever verbalized that, he has probably felt similarly.

4. batman (1940) #636

bruce brooding over the past. little does he know his second son is back and ready to haunt him literally instead of metaphorically lol. but anyway, this always makes me froth at the mouth. both bruce and dick have a tendency to look back on those years very, very positively and something about how nostalgia warps your memories but also how much of it is nostalgia and how much is truth? bruce is forever living in the past. @nighhtwing summarizes one of bruce's core truths in their fic Hereditary beautifully: Bruce has lived with grief longer than he’s lived without. It’s easy, then, to mourn this moment even as it’s in front of him, alive.

5. basically all of the comic batman/nightwing: bloodborne (2002). one of the most stellar pieces of bruce and dick writing. the art's a little funky but the story is fantastic. the devotion dick has. it's debilitating, it could kill him. it should have (thinking about the blast dick took for bruce in infinite crisis and how it was supposed to have killed him). the same toxin and anti-toxin runs through their veins. something about the intimacy and inherent religious imagery and nature of sharing blood. but it isn't even a cursory thought to dick. of course he will put himself in death's way if it means being able to save bruce. dick's biggest fear: being unable to save bruce like bruce saved him all those years ago. the way it all takes place on the anniversary of his parents' death. fantastic, killer, devastating show-stopping even.