#but fuck it i'm writing it anyway
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i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
#literally please be so so so fucking niceys to her i am so nervous about this for no reason#it's literally fine it's gonna be perfectly functional. I Am Going To Lose My Mind#i can always make another post if it gets fucked up somehow... i can always make another post...#anyway. hi. this is aromanticism. i made her for class. and then revised her for class. and now she's like my child#losing my miiiiiiiind#poetry#kind of like a uquiz too. to be honest haha#except i can make you read more somehow (long questions instead of long answers)#it's a little choose your own adventure......#poem#poems#poets on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetsandwriters#poems about aromanticism#aromantic#aro poet#aro poetry#aro#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#aspec#itch.io#GOD OKAY I'M JUST POSTING IT.#other writing#trying to get this to show up in my other writing tag is going to kill me...
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here we go :) part one of three, updates to be released weekly!
---
sam says 4 (game master cinematic universe, part 3)
Ruby was at her mum's for a family dinner she couldn't miss on pain of death, apparently, and the Doctor was many things, but a family dinner kind of guy wasn't one of themâparticularly when Carla had already slapped him once in the short time he'd known her. He thought he'd broken his streak of bad luck with mums, but⌠well, seemingly not. So he was companionless for a few hours, and while he could wait for her to get back, maybe catch up on his readingâwhat was the point of waiting when you had a time machine?Â
He ran his hands over the TARDIS console, marvelling at her clean lines and metallic flourishes, the way that even now she felt brand new but familiar, and paused. Heâd just pop off for a quick adventure, nothing too dangerous, butâwhere to go?
He could scan for a distress call nearby, and pitch in to help. He could drop in on Donna and Shaun and Rose, beautiful Rose, and see how they were all doing. Or he could just hit the randomiser button, and jump in feet first wherever he ended up.
He remembered a conversation from a long time ago, when he wore a different face, and his gorgeous TARDIS wore a face too, for the first and only time.
âYou didn't always take me where I wanted to go.â
âNo, but I always took you where you needed to go.â
He grinned. Who could resist an offer like that? He pressed the button and whooped as the time rotor spun into action, ready to see where the universe would take him.
---
Apparently, he was needed pretty close to where he already was. Earth, 2024. Huh. Same planet, same timeâwithin a few months of where heâd left Ruby, even. The main thing that had changed was the location: he was now in the good old US of A. California, to be more specific, and Los Angeles to be more specific still. And to really narrow it down, the Doctor discovered as he poked his head out of the TARDIS doors, he was in⌠a broom closet. Not bad, as a parking spotâa bit squeezy, but out of the way. And as he poked his head out of that door, he could finally see he was in the backstage corridors of a studio of some kind. Film or TV, if he was to hazard a guess, it was a different vibe from Abbey Road.
With a shrug, he decided to go exploring.
It couldnât have been more than a minute before a young woman wearing the full-black outfit, headset, and permanently stressed expression of a production assistant came running up to him.
âAre you the fill-in Sam organised?â she asked breathlessly, and honestly, seeing the look on her face, the Doctor didnât have the heart(s) to tell her no. And really, what was the Doctor, if not a professional fill-in? This, this was why he had a randomiser button on the control panel, because whatever he was about to get himself into was going to be fun.
âSure!â
âOh, thank god,â sighed the production assistant, relief dawning across her face. âWhen Ally tested positive this morning, I thought we were sunk for the record, because we called around and we couldnât get a hold of anyone. But then Sam said he could get someone in, and, you know, here you are, and just in time, soâah, yeah, if you could follow me this way?â
Smiling all the way, the Doctor followed his guide through to hair and makeup, looking around as they went. The studio seemed to belong to a company called Dropout, according to the branding scattered around, and things seemed, at least on the surface, to be⌠well. Fine. He couldn't tell why he'd been brought here yet, which meant that when he found the reason, it was going to be particularly tangled. He couldn't wait!Â
And then he looked back at his guide, still engulfed in a miasma of anxiety, and realised he'd been too busy looking for clues to notice the person right in front of him.Â
âHey, it's cool, you've found me,â he started with a gentle smile. âYou can relax. Hi, I'm the Doctor. What's your name?â
âOh!â she said, startled. âThe Doctor, yeah, of course. Um, hi, I'm Kaylin. Look, sorry, it's just that I've been so busy this morning, I'm so distracted⌠Shit, and I would've completely forgotten to get your details too. There's paperwork to fill in, but you can do that later. Um, just for now, though, can I get your pronouns?â
The Doctor thought for a moment. âHe/him, for now.â
Kaylin nodded, making a note on her phone. âOkay, cool! And do you have any socials?â
âNot me, babes,â he replied. âI'm hardly sitting down long enough to be able to update, you know?â
âOn a day like this, I know exactly what you mean,â she said. âThat's okay, Lou didn't have socials either for the longest time. Right, so if you go through there, the team will get you sorted, and once you're done, someone will take you up to the greenroom. All good?â
âAll great,â the Doctor replied. Kaylin flashed him a quick, relieved smile, then hurried off.
Hair and makeup was a fairly quick process, the sound mixer fitted him with a microphone, and before too long, Kaylin was back to take him upstairs.Â
âThis is the greenroom,â she said, pushing the door open. âThe rest of the cast for the episode are already hereâtheyâre great guys, and theyâve both been on the show a lot, so theyâll be able to help if youâve got questions. And if you need anything else, just come find me or any of the other PAs, okay?â
The Doctor nodded, beamed at Kaylin, and walked in.
---
The greenroom was small but comfortable, and its occupants, two men around the same age as the Doctor appeared, looked up as he entered.
âOh, youâre new,â the taller of the pair said, clearly giving him the once-over.
The other sighed with a mixture of fondness and exasperation, just as clearly used to his friendâs antics.
âHey, Iâm Brennan,â he said, levering himself up to standing from his perch on a chair arm, and holding out a hand. âThatâs Grant.â
The Doctor took it warmly. âThe Doctor. Just passing through, and happy to help.â
Grantâs eyebrows quirked. âDoctor⌠something?â he prompted.
âOr is it just âthe Doctorâ?â Brennan asked.
âJust âthe Doctorâ,â the Time Lord confirmed cheerfully. âYouâll get used to it, everyone does.â
Grant didnât look convinced, butâ
âCopy that,â Brennan shrugged, and settled back on the arm of the chair, returning his gaze to the door.
Grant, in turn, looked at the Doctor and rolled his eyes in a clear expression of âno, I donât know why heâs like this, eitherâ.
âOkay,â the Doctor said after a moment of watching the watching. âI wasnât going to ask, but now I think I have to. Whatâs up with the door?â
Brennan huffed a laugh. âWell, the last time there was one of those upââ he pointed to the Out of Order sign stuck to the bathroom door, ââwe got locked in here for the game.â
âHeâs paranoid,â Grant interjected.
âWell, yeah, maybe,â Brennan retorted. âOr just cautious. Because Samâs been acting weird lately, and weâre coming up to the last few records of the season, so heâs probably planning something way out of the box for the finale. And the original cast was you, me and Beardsley, soâŚâ
He shrugged one shoulder meaningfully, and Grant nodded, conceding both the point and the potential for chaos.
âSo if Sam comes in to give us the briefing, rather than waiting til weâre on set,â Brennan continued, âor thereâs anything else weird going on, Iâm gonna know about it right from the beginning.â
He turned to the Doctor. âThe only reason I'm not quizzing you is because I know for a fact Beardsley was genuinely scheduled for this, so you can't be a plant by the production team. No offence.â
âNone taken,â the Doctor smiled. âThat sort of thing happen often, does it?â
Grant and Brennan exchanged a look.Â
âMore than you'd think,â Grant answered with a grimace.Â
âAlright,â the Doctor said slowly, then brightened. âSo what is it we're actually doing?â
Grant gave him a disbelieving glance. âYou don't knowâ?â
âVery last minute fill-in,â the Doctor said breezily. âBut don't worry, I'm a quick study.â
âWell, you're not that much worse off than the rest of us,â Brennan said encouragingly. âYou know about Game Changer, obviously, if you know Sam, and we only find out the rules of the game once we get on set. Hopefully,â he added, with a dark look back at the Out of Order sign.Â
The Doctor nodded. No, he didn't know Sam, and he didn't know Game Changer, but he could work out the situation from context clues. This was a game show. And with the Toymaker banished, and Satellite Five not coming into existence for another 198000 years, give or take, he found himself smiling. Maybe third time would be the charm.Â
âMmm, hopefully they aren't going to throw you in the deep end,â Grant said. âBecause Brennan might seem lovely now, but as soon as we get out there, he's a whore for points. He'll stab you in the back and won't even blink.â
Brennan barked with laughter. âYeah, and you wouldn't?â
âExcuse you, I'm always a goddamn delight,â Grant replied, the very picture of injured dignity.Â
âOh, absolutely!â agreed a new voice. The Doctor turned to the now-open door to see a bearded man in a pinstriped suit smiling broadly. âThat's why we keep inviting you back!â
Grant bowed sarcastically. âWhy, thank you, Sam. Good to know I'm appreciated by someone here.â
âAlways,â Sam replied, gently but firmly ending that particular path of the conversation. He scanned the room, and his eyes lit up when they landed on the Doctor.Â
âAh, you must be the Doctor!â he said with obvious delight, walking over with his hand outstretched. âI'm Samâthanks for filling in for us, you've made sure we're going to have a good show. Seriously, it's a pleasure to have you here.â
âAw, cheers!â the Doctor smiled, shaking the offered hand. âGlad I could help out, I'm really looking forward to this!â
âWell, great!â Sam exclaimed, then took a step back, regarding all three players in turn. âNow, folks, I'm just letting you know that we're just about ready to start the record, so if you can start heading down, that'd be great.â
Grant and Brennan noddedâBrennan, the Doctor noticed, with relief.Â
âSee you down there,â Sam said, smiling. âHave a great show, andââ
His eyes caught on the Doctor's for a second, twinkling.Â
âGood luck.â
---
Backstage, the Doctor, Brennan and Grant were marshalled into podium order and given a final briefing from the crew. And then, with a thumbs-up from Kaylin, that was it.
Showtime.
âGet ready for a Game Changer!â came Sam's voice from onstage. âTonightâs guests: he can shoot off a monologue with laser accuracy; itâs Brennan Lee Mulligan!â
Brennan, his back to the camera as the curtains opened, spun on his heel and, with a stone-cold expression, pointed finger guns straight down the barrel, before letting the facade crack open. âHi!â he exclaimed, and walked over to the leftmost podium.
âItâs his first appearance, but heâs already on fire; itâs the Doctor!â
The Doctor leant against the archway to the stage and flashed a broad smile towards the camera, then in a few skipping steps, had bounded over to the next free podium. What the hell, why not make an entrance?
âAnd even in the toughest of mazes, youâll always be able to find him; itâs Grant OâBrien!â
Grant dipped his lanky frame into an approximation of a curtsey, spreading his arms wide, then sauntered over to the closest podium with a grin.
âAnd your host, me!â Sam announced, a ring of manic white showing around his irises as he beamed down the barrel of the camera. âIâve been here the whole time!â
âThis,â he continued, pushing his microphone shut and stowing it in his jacket pocket, âis Game Changer, the only game show where the game changes every show. I am your host, Sam Reich!âÂ
As he said his name, he looked at his hands, front and back, as if he was pleasantly surprised to be himself, then gestured towards the three podiums.
âI am joined today by these three lovely contestants! Now, you understand how the game works.â
âOf course not,â Grant started. âYou know we don't.â
âWe can't, Sam, that's the whole point of the theatre you've set up here,â Brennan said over him.Â
âNot yet,â was all the Doctor said, anticipation starting to drum a tattoo of excitement against the inside of his ribcage.Â
âThatâs right!â Sam said brightly, shooting finger guns at the camera. âOur players have no idea what game it is theyâre about to play. The only way to learn is by playing. The only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning! So without further ado, letâs begin by giving each of our players fifty points.â
The Doctor, biding his time, watched the reactions of his fellow contestants. Grant looked at the front of his podium, checking the point total, and nodding approvingly when he saw that yes, it was sitting at a round fifty. Brennan, on the other hand, was starting to frown.
âPlayers, Sam says: touch your nose,â Sam began, and Brennan sighed the sigh of someone who wasnât happy to be proved right.
âOh, no,â he groaned. âOh, you son of a bitch. Wasnât one this season enough?â
He touched his nose anyway, as did the others, and Sam smiled encouragingly. âSam says: touch your ear.â
When they all did, Sam nodded. âTouch your other ear.â
Everybody held still, fingers on the ears they had originally touched.
Sam beamed. âEasy, players, right?â
âYou say that now,â Brennan said darkly. âWhich makes it worse, because all you're doing is setting us up for failure.â
Sam gasped, pretending offence. âWould I do that?â
âYes,â Brennan and Grant replied in unison, which drew a grin from the Doctor and set Sam off chuckling.
âAnd I'm not having it,â Brennan continued, leaning his elbows against his podium and pointing at Sam with the hand not touching his ear. âYou better watch yourself, because I know how this game works, and you're not going to get one over on me.â
âStrong words, Brennan!â Sam said, clearly delighted by this response. âOkay, then, let's start making things a bit more interesting!â
The game continued as per Sam Says usual, some rounds done as a group and some individual. Points were won, sure, but lost slightly more frequently, and even the Doctor found he was having to concentrate to avoid getting caught in the host's traps.Â
It was fun. Genuinely, it was like playing a game with friends, and the Doctor felt himself leaning into it. There wasn't any sign of dangerâmaybe there wasn't a mystery to solve at all, and the TARDIS just decided he needed a total break.Â
Well, probably not. But the way things were going, he was able to let himself hope.Â
âAlright, players,â Sam said a good few rounds in, just as pleasantly as he would start any other question, and the screen behind him dinged as a new prompt popped up. âSurvive the death beam.â
For a second, everything was frozen perfectly still.Â
And then came the crash, the explosive noise of heavy machinery moving relentlessly through a drywall set.
The Doctor was already moving. âEveryone down!â
âDuck!â Brennan yelled at the same time.
The two of them hit the ground within milliseconds of each other, but Grant was still paralysed in the face of the giant, science-fiction type laser cannon that had just ploughed through the wall.Â
It whined ominously, screaming its way to fever pitch. And then a sharp pain in Grantâs ankle made him stagger, pitching forwards onto the carpet behind the podiums as the Doctor rolled away to avoid getting pinned.
âSorry, babes,â the Doctor whispered. âBut it was either kick you to get you down, orââ
A hideous metallic screech ripped through the air, and all three of them could feel the crackle of ozone as a beam of energy swept across what had, moments ago, been neck height.
ââŚOr that,â the Doctor finished with a grimace.
âJesus fucking Christ,â Grant breathed, suddenly very conscious of every inch of his 6â9 frame. âThanks.â
âWell done, players!â Sam exclaimed delightedly from above them. âBut⌠sorry, I didnât say âSam saysâ, so thatâs a point off for everyone.â
âWhat the fuck!â Brennan snapped.
âAre you actually insane?â Grant demanded at the same time, his voice overlapping with Brennanâs.
In response, Sam just wheezed with laughter. âYou can come back to your podiums,â he said, cheerfully ignoring them.
Nobody moved.
âVery good!â he acknowledged, and even without seeing his face, the grin was obvious in his voice. âOkay, Sam says: come back to your podiums.â
Although the words were innocuous, and his tone was just as light and breezy as usual, there was nevertheless an edge hiding just underneath the surface. And while the death beam loomed large in the minds of all three players, it was impossible to consider disobedience as an option.
Slowly, they stood, returning to their places. Now they had the time to look at it properly, the death beam was even more sinister, and Brennan and Grant both kept flicking nervous glances its way, ready to move if it looked like it was charging up again.
The Doctor, however, was focused purely on the man standing in front of them. Unbothered, Sam met his gaze like a challenge, a mischievous smile playing about his lips.
âOh, youâll love this one,â he said, and the screen changed. âSam says, starting with Grant: say my name.â
Grant frowned in confusion, but answered quickly nonetheless. âSam Reich?â
The man himself shrugged tolerantly, moving on. âBrennan?â
Brennan just stared at him coolly. âDo you take me for a fool?â
âWell caught, Brennan!â Sam said happily. âSam says: say my name.â
âSam,â Brennan replied, suspicion clear in his voice. âSamuel Dalton Reich.â
He nodded, still with a hint of indifference. âAnd lastly, Doctor.â His smile broadened. âSam says: say my name.â
It was easy. Too easy. And as the Doctor looked into the eyes of the man calling himself Sam Reich, he felt his hearts stutter in recognition, because something had changed. He wasnât hiding himself anymore, and while the face was different yet again, the Doctor would know the shape of that soul anywhere. It was impossible. It was inevitable.
âYou canât be,â he breathed.Â
Sam smirked, leaning in across his podium. âOh, but Doctor⌠Iâve been here the whole time,â he stage-whispered with a wink.
âHe said you lost,â the Doctor said, shaking his head, looking wrong-footed for the first time that Brennan and Grant could recall. âYou lost, and he trapped you.â
The other two watched, uncomprehending, but Sam just smiled, drumming his fingers against the podium with an audible beat, fast but distinct. Four taps, four taps, four taps. âIâm waiting.â
The Doctor took a slow, deep breath. Set his jaw.Â
âMaster.â
---
missed an installment of the game master cinematic universe?
original idea by @ace-whovian-neuroscientist: x
art by @northernfireart concept: x scissor sisters sketch: x sam and his doppelganger: x
writing by me (!) part one (escape the greenroom): x part two (deja vu): x part three (sam says 4): you are here!
#game master#sam reich!master#doctor who#dw#dropout#game changer#you know what let's chuck some character tags in here#15th doctor#the master#sam reich#brennan lee mulligan#grant o'brien#kaylin mahoney#clari speaks#clari writes#ah darlings i'm putting my chat down here rather than in the post body for once#so i've thought of this whole saga as 'part three' but i will be a) titling them all and b) just keeping on numbering the parts sequentiall#rather than 'part three part one' etc#otherwise we're getting into homestuck act titling territory and that is ground i do not wish to tread#also fuck i hope i've got the time zones right#i'm planning to post this when an episode of game changer would ordinarily be released. to plug the gap. to tide us over.#(the finale trailer is so delightfully unhinged and i cannot wait til next week)#anyway gang this one was wild#the slight but significant genre shift from 'game changer with doctor who elements' to 'doctor who with game changer elements'#it was fun to write! and hopefully fun to read :)#also i MUST say that eugene northernfireart has a baller comic in the works that this entire thing is based on#this is thousands of words of setup and continuation because the sketch idea was so good it possessed me#and we decided that it had to be a proper dw episode#(hey rtd hire me pls)#anyway eugene is on hiatus bc of life so in the meantime go give him love and be Fuckin Hyped for the comic when it appears bc i know i am
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SPECTACLE. -j.ww
in which your new boyfriend, wonwoo, doesn't give a crap about his expensive eyewear.
pairing : wonwoo x fem!reader. content : smut. pwp. tags under the cut. MINORS DO NOT HAVE MY CONSENT TO INTERACT. w/c : 2.7k. notes : yeah i kinda. went insane over this idea. so. bon appetite to you, and also to wonwoo ? i guess.
content + smut tags : established - but new - relationship. making out. FACE SITTING. impact play? (one gentle butt slap). the shenanigans are on a couch if that matters, i don't know. reader is a little shy about doing it. PLEASE let me know if i've forgotten anything.
Wonwoo looks flushed when he pulls away from where heâs been kissing and nipping at the side of your neck, hair stuck up in every direction thanks to your tugging fingers and your gentle guidance to help him find your sweet spots. His lips are pink and a little plumped. His glasses are steaming up, sitting halfway down the bridge of his nose, and every slightly heavier breath he takes makes his broad chest rise and fall where itâs pressed wholly against yours.
You canât help yourself from leaning forward into another kiss; heâs completely irresistible. Maybe the most handsome man youâve ever seen. And while this isnât really news to you, the dynamic of your relationship with him shifted a month or so ago and youâre still getting used to the privilege of seeing him this close up.Â
Heâs still adjusting too, if the way he groans directly into your mouth, hands groping harder at the curve of your ass as you shuffle in his lap is anything to judge by. Still learning, still figuring you out. But â and this is how you know what youâre building here might be the real deal â even when itâs clumsy, and when you knock teeth while youâre kissing and burst into slightly pained giggles, or when things accidentally slip out of place while youâre getting steamy⌠everything Wonwoo does makes your spine tingle. Makes your stomach flip. Makes your core throb.Â
Even when it doesnât always work? It makes sense, and itâs perfect, and losing yourself in the way his lips caress and worship yours is so damn easy when he murmurs your praises just for letting him do this in the first place.
âWill you do something for me?â He asks after a small forever, pulling back just far enough that he's not breathing up your nose. His hands have made their way under your â his â hoodie now and heâs grazing his fingers over your ribs, tickling enough to make you whimper, not enough for you to want to swat him away.
You think youâd give him the world if he asked for it in that deep, rough voice he adopts when things start heading in this direction. The moon too. Shit, if you could get a lasso around the sun and bring it closer to keep him warm, youâd do that as well. So, whatever his little request is now, you know youâre going to agree; resting your hands on his shoulders (finally leaving his gorgeous hair alone), you lean back from him and nod your head.
âAnything,â you say. Youâre certain that you feel his cock twitch in his sweatpants where itâs pressed against the inside of your thigh, but youâre not quite sure why.Â
It makes you feel hot, though. More-so when he bites back a grin, lips curling in that adorable way. It feels greatly unfair that you canât swoop down right this second to kiss him again, and again, and again; as painful as it is though, you do exercise enough grace to wait for him to come out with it.
âGet up,â he says softly, dropping his hands down your sides and squeezing at your hips once.Â
You do as he asks and move off his lap, sitting on the other side of the couch; he doesnât say anything else as he stands up himself, pulls his hoodie off over his head and tosses it to one side before sinking all the way down to the floor. You raise an eyebrow at him, but he doesnât see you. He shuffles into place with his back against the edge of the seat and only once heâs comfortable does he turn to look at you over one shoulder, grinning brilliantly.
âOkay,â he says, bending his knees and planting his heels into the floor. âCome here.â
You stand up off the cushions now and look down at him for a second, wondering what on Earth is going through his mind, but you know better than to start questioning his strange ideas. Especially when heâs in this sort of a mood. You step over him, one foot either side of his hips, and start to drop down too, but he puts a hand on each of your knees and stops you before youâre in his lap once again.
âNo,â Wonwoo says, shaking his head. His hands then make their way to the backs of your thighs and he pushes forwards, trying to guide you where he wants you. Your knees bend of their own accord and press against the couch on both sides of his head. âLike this.â
You donât exactly freeze up, but it is as if you forget how to control all of your muscles for a second. The ones in your legs seem to turn to jelly and you know itâs only because the sofa is currently taking a portion of your weight that you donât buckle completely and fall onto the top of his head. The ones in your face give you a slack-jawed, wide-eyed, unblinking expression.Â
Your abdominal muscles tighten and your cunt flutters at what youâre sure heâs trying to suggest, the rush of wetness you feel only worsened by the intensity in his eyes as he tips his head back and looks at you.
âPlease?â He asks, all sweet but deep and rough at the same time.Â
âAre you sâ?â You start to ask.Â
Wonwoo clicks his tongue at you and tries to encourage you further onto the couch to prove his point. âYes,â he says, nodding eagerly.Â
And then, just so you really canât mistake what he's asking forâ
âI want you to sit on my face.â
Your entire body heats up at how bluntly he says it. You squeeze your eyes shut and bite the inside of your cheek so that you donât accidentally laugh with the nerves already trying to burst out of your tummy.Â
Itâs not that you donât want to. If you had a penny for every time youâd thought about him giving himself up for your pleasure this way, youâd be rich. You do. Youâre going a little crazy just imagining how good itâs going to feel.Â
Itâs just that him being so bold about it has you feeling shy, and thatâs never happened to you before. Youâre at a loss. Youâre totally stumped.
When you open your eyes again and look down at him, Wonwoo is just as earnest and hungry for you as he was a few seconds ago. If anything, itâs as if he wants it more. Itâs without a doubt the hottest thing youâve ever seen and before you can talk yourself out of it, youâre nodding at him; his fingers start to drag up and down the backs of your thighs happily, before they hook under the waistband of your shorts and gently make that first little pull.
âIf you donât like it, we can stop,â he says to you, only pulling them all the way down when you start to help him. They get tossed over to the side to join his hoodie after you step out of them. His eyes glance to the panties youâre wearing â the last barrier, the final thing keeping him from what heâs so desperate for â before he looks back at your face and flashes you a smile. âJust tell me, okay?â
âItâs not that,â you laugh softly, taking off your own jumper and throwing it onto the pile. Wonwoo groans at the sight of you; you roll your eyes at him. âYou just⌠took me by surprise.â
âGood,â he sighs, wrapping an arm around one of your legs and letting you settle onto your knees in position over his mouth, pressing his fingers into the top of your thigh.Â
The first soft press of his lips over your panties makes you gasp and you hold a little tighter onto the back cushions as you look down at him. His eyes are closed already as he breathes your heady scent in, deep enough to hopefully stain his lungs, enough that heâll never get rid of it, that heâll be able to carry you everywhere he goes.Â
But Wonwooâs closed eyes arenât the only thing you notice between your thighs and a soft laugh replaces the pleased sounds already spilling from your lips. One hand drops down to where he's settled and your fingers brush against his temple as they try to pinch at one side of his glasses. He looks affronted when he catches your gaze.
âWhatâre you doing?â He asks, gently moving your hand away.Â
You tilt your head at him. âYour glasses,â you prompt, moving to reach for them again. His fingers curl around your wrist and he shoves your hand into his hair instead, rubbing the tip of his nose against the inside of your thigh.
âI want to keep them on,â he tells you.
âWhat if they break?â
âDonât care,â he hums, kissing his way back towards your covered pussy. âIâll buy a new pair. I just wanna see you.â
You swallow at this and decide that youâre definitely not going to try and change his mind, instead choosing to tilt your head back and let his skilled tongue work you up through your underwear. Itâs a mess of arousal and spit and theyâre soaked, translucent, clinging to you by the time heâs frustrated with them;Â frankly, so are you, and it's a relief when he concludes that enough is enough.
âBaby,â he groans as he pulls your underwear to one side and has to crane his neck up to lick the flat of his tongue in a stripe up your slit. You whine, the cool air and his hot breaths a menacing mix of sensations, but you donât have the sense to respond; one soft slap of his hand against your ass makes you look back down at him, though, and youâre met with dark eyes, flushed cheeks and a practically frenzied Wonwoo in the space between your hips. Your sweet, softly spoken boyfriend is nowhere to be found.
âI said, sit.â
His strong arm tugs you down and your knees slide against the cushions, bringing your pussy even closer to his face, literally forcing you to rest against his lips. He chuckles triumphantly and buries his tongue between your folds, tasting you so much more legitimately than before. The way he loves â straight from the source, the spring. You feel him prod at your hole and your walls clench around what he gives you â barely just the tip, but itâs enough to have you reeling already, and when his other arm hooks around your other thigh, when he starts to move you back and forth, you take very little convincing to start to rock your hips down against him on your own.
âOh,â you whimper as his lips seal around your clit and he sucks at it once, giving a few experimental flicks of his tongue at the same time. The hand in his hair tightens immediately and Wonwoo groans with you still in his mouth, sending delicious vibrations through your sensitive nerves and making you gush onto his chin.Â
âSo fucking pretty like this,â he tells you, stroking his thumb over your waist. âMight be my new favourite view.â
He keeps lapping at you teasingly, testing circles and sideways motions, precise swipes, long drags; every subtle change as he tries to find what makes you scream in this position draws a different sound from your throat. He tenses the muscle and fucks your dribbling hole with it while encouraging you to move enough forward that his nose bumps against your clit with every jerky rock of your hips. Youâre grinding faster, now, pressing down against his mouth harder, caring less by the second about whether his glasses are actually going to break in two. Besides, the way he drinks you down tells you that he could do this for a week straight without getting tired; he doesnât want you to stop, or slow down, or ease up. He wants more. And if youâre too shy to give it to him, heâll just take, take, take.
âJustâ oh, fuck,â you gasp as his tongue finds your clit again and he laps at it with so much zeal that he could rival your favourite vibrator. âJust like thatââ
Both of his hands grasp you tighter, squeezing and massaging and kneading at your soft skin as you chase your high on his pretty face. His eyes are tightly closed in his own rapture, and you hope that he wonât blame you for wanting him to open them; your hand pulls harshly at his hair again, hard enough to make him cringe, enough to make him stop for just a second before he sees how wound-up you look. You try to pull off from him a little, at least enough for him to catch a couple of breaths, but Wonwoo captures your pussy between his lips before you even hear him inhale.
âYouâ you wanted to sâsee me,â you stutter out as the fire starts to catch and you feel warmth and ecstasy start to build at your core. âFuckâ ahââ
So he does. With big, hungry eyes, Wonwoo watches as you hurtle towards oblivion, as you writhe and squirm and grind down against his ardent mouth.
He sends you crashing over the edge with a wet sob, your own eyes closing now as you see stars in the darkness and ride your high out on his still-moving tongue. There are tears on your cheeks before you can do anything about it. Your walls spasm around nothing. He barely slows, taking back enough pressure so that your pleasure doesnât turn to pain. Heâs pretty sure he doesnât even blink until youâre out the other side of your climax, though.
When your pants start to die down and youâre twitching to get away from him, so sensitive that even his tiny kisses make you shudder, Wonwoo drops his head back down to the pillows and wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. You donât have the strength to move yet, still reeling, still too floaty to try for any level of coordination, but he doesnât mind. Your swollen, glistening pussy right over his face is something he'd pay millions to see.
âDidnât even break the glasses,â you laugh weakly once your voice decides to come back to you.Â
âMm,â Wonwoo hums, sliding them off his nose and inspecting them. He âtskâs before putting them back on. Theyâre steamed at the edges and a little smeary now, and he surely canât actually see that clearly through them. He obviously doesnât care. âThatâs not good enough.â
âHuh?â you ask, moving carefully so as not to plant your knee into his jaw but still trying to bring your legs together so that you can sit to one side. He isn't having it, though, and slowly shuffles up onto his knees, turns around to face you and lays his fingers on one of your ankles, wasting no time in trying to pry your legs apart again.
âThatâs. Not. Good. Enough,â he repeats, using his other hand to palm himself over the fabric of his sweatpants. The tent in them would be comical if it werenât for the animalistic look in his eyes; thereâs nothing laughable about the way heâs looking at you right now, though.
âSo what are we gonna do about it?â You ask, opening back up for him and not hiding how you stare as he rips his shirt off over his head. Then, he slides his fingertips up the inside of your calf, to your knee, down your thigh⌠he drags them over the lips of your pussy and collects a little of your slick on them before bringing his hand to his lips and sucking it clean.
âIâve got a few ideas,â he tells you, groaning at your sweet taste as if he wasnât just drowning in it a minute and a half ago. He lowers himself until he's once more level with your cunt and guides both of your legs over his shoulders, smirking up at your expectant face. âMaybe try to squeeze your thighs a little more this time. See if that does the trick.â
thank you so much for reading!! i hope u enjoyed this hehe. as always, likes, reblogs, replies, feedback and asks are always super appreciated.<3
#wonwoo smut#wonwoo x reader#jeon wonwoo smut#seventeen smut#svt smut#kpop smut#*#j writes.#this is the best title i've ever given anything and if you disagree. argue with the wall#i'm fucking hilarious. anyway don't perceive me.#taking myself to horknee jail right this second
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Why do I keep thinking that Optimus, Megatron, and Ratchet from Prime were in like a throuple before the war?
BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!
#my art#my requests#god i'm fucking obsessed w/ these three........#this is messy and i sort of gave up towards the end but i'm fine w/ it#<- [lying]#anyway i'm literally in the middle of writing a megoptiratch post-war fic dude đđ#megoptiratch#megaratch#optiratch#megop#transformers prime#maccadam#tfp ratchet#tfp megatron#tfp optimus prime#can u tell that i'm becoming increasingly deranged abt megs.....#maybe he's more scrunkly than i first gave him credit for....#transformers#polyamory
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Tim's unternet suit really is the most glaringly obvious hero worship/crush for Dick thing he ever has. in the unternet, where Tim's subconscious creates what he is. that's the suit his brain comes up with? something so clearly derivative of Nightwing? down to the *finger stripes*?
red robin #19
this is gay as hell. the reason Tim can't wear this soul irl is bc the first thing he would do is jerk off in it. and he couldn't handle the embarrassment of Dick seeing how similar it is. if DC ever made this Tim's official suit the first thing they would have to do is make Tim and Dick fuck in it. i'm so close to writing that fic i won't lie.
#batcest#dicktim#timdick#tim drake x dick grayson#this does NOT get the festerings tag it's far too low effort#i'm drunk i rlly should mention that#i need a drunk tag wait#necrotic fermentings#sure that works#this is SO low effort and unserious btw#i did have to google 'tim drake tied up' bc it was important to me i used THAT specific panel for this.#also was important to me his dick was not cropped out#someone dare me to write the fic /j#i'm so serious i'm drunk enough to write a low quality ficlet rn#nothing serious enough to go on ao3 but like if someone reblogged/sent an ask asking for it i'd do it#i've had a shit day tbh it'd bring me joy#all of this is /lh#also the IRONY of this suit happening while dick is batman (i think)#actually was bruce alive for the unternet arc? ignore me i don't know.#and i'm too toasted to check. but batman!dick fucking tim in *this* suit could be fun won't lie#anyway cheers this is so silly.
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NO BECAUSE I DON'T THINK WE TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS? BECAUSE

Yeah okay that's a pretty terrifying thing to see, and I can pretty logically assume this is hallucination on N's part, but does that stop him from literally CATCHING HER IN THE NEXT THREE SECONDS???

NO THE FUCK IT DOES NOT LOOK AT HIS HAND LOOK AT HIS HAND UNDERNEATH HER HEAD LOOK AT IT
CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT THE CHANGE IN EXPRESSION THAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME IS DUE TO WHAT HE SAW?? Like also I assume yeah obviously he's worried about Uzi because who the fuck wouldn't be (Cyn) but like LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT



HIS EYES DON'T HOLLOW OUT UNTIL SHE NEARLY HITS THE GROUND AFTER THAT WHOLE THING OCCURS AND YOU CAN SEE THE FUCKING SWITCH FROM "Oh my fucking god what the hell is happening" TO "BEEP BEEP BEEP RED ALERT SHIT'S GOING DOWN OH BISCUITS OH FUCK"
"Myrah what the fuck are you on about it's 8:30 in the damn morning?"
I AM UNWELL ABOUT THESE TWO GODDAMNIT
#AND I GIVE 0 FUCKS ABOUT WHO KNOWS#OR WHAT THE FUCK TIME IT IS#GOD THESE TWO MAKE ME SICK THEY MAKE ME ILL /POS#I need to write a very very long post about them very soon#another thing to add to the list of long ass posts I have to make... sigh...#yeah J enjoyers I'm coming for your ass#I have an analysis to perform and no I will NOT wait for permission#and FUCK YOU for expecting me to#(i know no one was expecting me to)#anyway#murder drones#md#glitch productions#glitch#uzi doorman#serial designation n#nuzi#biscuit bites#n x uzi#uzi x n#mymy rambles
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hear me outâŚâŚ no kissing sex with bf!quinn right now.
it would be its own kind of torment, the kind of heat and frustration that makes your skin flush before anything even happens. it would start slow, almost awkward, both of you trying to work around the glaring fact that his lip â split, stitched and swollen â has taken away one of your favourite things about being with him.
âThis is so stupid,â heâd groan, his head falling back against the headboard as you straddle his hips, your hands resting on his chest.
His fingers grip your thighs like heâs holding himself back, his touch firm but not nearly enough. His hair, all tousled and soft from a restless night, frames his face in that boyish way that makes you ache to kiss him. But you canât, and itâs killing both of you.
âYou donât think I know that?â you shoot back, your voice soft but laced with the same frustration, your lips so close to his that he can feel your breath against his skin. âSo hard for me to sit here and notââ
âDonât,â he groans, cutting you off with a sharp exhale, his eyes flickering to your mouth and then away just as quickly, like itâs a temptation too great to bear. His hands tighten on your thighs, his grip firm but still trembling with restraint, like heâs barely keeping himself in check. âDo you even know how hard this is for me?â His voice dips, low and rough, frustration simmering beneath every syllable.
You donât, not really. You couldnât possibly, because if you did, you wouldnât be sitting there looking like that â lips parted, eyes heavy with want, your body pressed so close but not close enough. His eyes trail over you, lingering for a second too long, and it makes his chest ache. God, you look good like this. So good itâs unfair. And youâre right there, on top of him, inches from his mouth, and he canât even close the distance.
âI canât even fucking look at you right now,â he mutters, his voice breaking on the words as his head tilts back against the headboard, exposing the sharp line of his jaw. âNot without wanting to kiss you.â
His fingers dig harder into your thighs, a low, frustrated groan slipping from his lips as he fights every instinct to kiss you the way he wants â needs â to.
Now one of your hands is splayed across his chest, the steady thrum of his heartbeat pulsing beneath your fingertips, while the other rakes through his hair. You lean in, your lips brushing the faintest, most tender kiss to his forehead, just enough to make him tense beneath you.
âIâm the one whoâs perfectly capable of kissing you on the mouth right now â Iâm just not allowed,â you murmur, your voice low and teasing, though the weight of your own frustration bleeds through.
Then, with slow, deliberate precision, you lower your head, your lips hovering over his jaw, just barely brushing against his skin. His hands tighten on your waist instantly, dragging you closer, his restraint slipping. His chest heaves under you, each breath shallow and uneven as his frustration and desire bleed into one another.
âFuck,â he mutters when his lips twitch toward yours instinctively, the pain pulling him back with a sharp wince. Yet even then, he doesnât let go, his hands gripping you tighter, as though heâs determined to keep you there, despite the torment of what he canât have, desperate to hold onto what he can.
Itâs almost comical at first, the way you both try to navigate around the glaring absence of your usual kisses, but then the humour fades, replaced by something heavier. You start pressing kisses to his neck, slow and wet, trailing your lips along the warm expanse of his skin. Each touch earns a low, shaky breath from him, his chest rising and falling under your palms. You nip lightly at his shoulder, letting your teeth graze the muscle, and he groans again, his head falling back.
âYouâre not helping,â he rasps, his hands sliding up your back, gripping the fabric of your shirt.
And then it's all heat and frustration. Thereâs no teasing this time, no soft kisses to ease you into it, because the second his lips even try to skim your skin, he winces, the sting of his injury pulling him back with a startle.
Your knees are pressed against his hips, and you can feel the tension rolling off him in waves in the way his hands slide up your thighs, rougher than usual, tugging you closer with a strength that leaves no space between you. Itâs desperate, like heâs trying to make up for everything he canât do with the touch of lips. His chest is heaving under yours, and when your hips shift against him, his head falls back against the headboard with a sharp exhale, his jaw tightening.
âYouâre killing me,â he groans, his voice strained, and his hands move to your hips, gripping you tighter as he guides your movements. Thereâs a rough edge to the way heâs holding you, his need for you consuming every thought. His eyes flick to your mouth, then away again, like even looking at your lips is too much. âI canât even fucking kiss you,â he mutters for what feels like the hundredth time, his voice breaking with the weight of his frustration.
Your lips find his neck again, dragging slowly across his skin, your teeth grazing his shoulder until he lets out a sound thatâs halfway between a groan and a plea, vibrating through your entire body.
âIâm frustrated, too, but,â you trail off against his skin, your voice thick with your own desperation. Your hands slide up his chest, your nails dragging lightly over his skin, and he shudders beneath you, his hips jerking up into yours. âJust gotta make do.â
He doesnât respond, not right away, but the way his hands drag you closer, harder, says everything. Like heâs trying to make up for every kiss he canât press to your lips, against your neck and down your chest.
His head tilts forward, and his lips, though injured and off-limits, press lightly to the curve of your neck, his breath hot against your skin. Itâs not enough, not for either of you, but itâs all he can manage, and it only makes the ache sharper.
âYou donât get it,â he mumbles softly, his voice rough, almost pleading. âYouâre right here, and I canât evenâŚâ
His sentence trails off but the words still hit you like a match to gasoline, and your hands move to his shoulders, gripping him tightly as you rock against him. You can feel his restraint slipping, the sharp edge of his desperation bleeding into every touch, every movement. When you lean down, pressing your lips to the curve of his shoulder, his breath hitches, and when you bite down, just enough to leave a mark, he moans, his fingers digging into your waist so hard you think you might bruise too.
âFuck, youâre making this worse,â he groans but thereâs no mistaking the way his body responds to you.
The way his hips press up into yours with every movement and the way his hands slide up your back, his touch firm and unrelenting. He buries his face in your neck again, his breath ragged against your skin through parted, swollen lips that are stinging with the pressure he's placing.
Itâs raw and messy, the desperation between you heightening every touch, every sound. Heâs rougher than usual, his movements fueled by frustration and need, and when you finally fall apart, itâs not with the usual gentleness but with an intensity that leaves you both breathless.
#not being able to kiss you would have him acting like he's suffering worse than whatever the fuck kind of physical pain he's currently in#and i'm kinda into it#desperate frustrated and whiny quinny? sign me up!#anyway...... GODSPEED!#capquinn's writing#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes
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Nikolai and Price going to an evening game of poker with some of Nik's "friends", John sitting with his guard up as he's surrounded by a group of dangerous international criminals, all of them carrying guns, all of them glancing at him with a curious look. Price is uncomfortable but doesn't show it, while Nikolai is awfully relaxed considering the situation.
The evening goes on, drinks, cigars and hearty laughs are shared around the table, the bets reaching numbers Price doesn't even make in half a year. It would be a problem, if he wasn't winning most of the rounds, piles of cash gathering around him as he feels the tension build in the room. One of the younger guys, another russian speaker, starts getting an attitude about it around two hours in, and Nikolai immediately puts him in his place with a single sentence Price doesn't understand, his voice booming, as intimidating as he could be, a heavy silence falling inside the room as the lad with an attitude sits back down, eyes not even daring to look at Nik. The silence is only broken by Nik again, a warm laugh leaving his lips and the other men joining him, their nervousness barely hidden.
It had been so easy for Nik to command the room, and even after the tension had diminished, Price could see how much respect these men had for him, while also clearly being scared shitless of the man. Price had rarely felt more attracted to him as he did at that moment, and the wink and smirk Nikolai gave him when he noticed him looking in his direction absolutely did not help.
John eventually left the table, excusing himself for a moment but squeezing Nik's hand briefly as he got up, moving deeper in the building they were using for their game.
A minute later and it's Nik's turn to excuse himself, quickly finding Price who immediately grabs him by the collar of his open shirt and presses his lips against his, Nik hungrily returning the kiss and pushing John against a nearby wall.
When they return to the table, hair tousled, face flustered, all it takes is one glance from Nikolai to shut the others up. This is his territory, this is where he's comfortable, surrounded by dangerous men who show him respect and never dare to cross him.
It's easy for John to forget how natural this all is for his partner, and if Nikolai brought him here tonight to assert his dominance and show off a little, just so he could impress John, well, that mission sure was a success.
#cod#nikprice#cod nikolai#john price#captain price#nikolai cod#yeah okay I couldn't fall asleep last night and the sudden thought of shady poker night came to mind#I just fucking love seeing Nik just fully embracing his shady side#I think most of the time he'd keep this side of him separated from Price#but come on he knows the effect of him being the top dog in the room would have on John#he gets to have a little fun with it from time to time#follow up to this: they leave and have some fun in their car because they are hungry and impatient đâ#anyway yeah idk I'm just blabbering at this point#just throwing ideas into the void and running away don't mind me#my writing#I feel like I need to apologize for this this is probably written so badly but VSHVSHVNUV at least the thoughts have been shared
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I'm so mad that post was misinformation because there is actually an EXTREMELY important conversation to have about the production schedules artists are forced into. There's no need for exaggeration, the conditions are bad.
I work for webtoon. My publication schedule is weekly. While publishing I'm required 10-15 pages a week. Fully colored.
This means I'm finishing a 150 page fully colored graphic novel every 10-15 weeks.
When my comic is not updating, I am not getting paid. Any time writing, editing, or off is out of my own pocket. I don't get healthcare. They do not provide any assistants. They expect me to promote myself; they chose to deprioritize me before I even launched and gave me an end date half a year in. I never had a chance.
And this is the industry standard! Every company has artists forced into crunch hours, overtime, and burnout. Artists are literally dying early due to it. So many of my friends can't afford to go to the doctor.
It's unsustainable and untenable, and it's also the expectation our audiences have.
If we want to have this conversation, there's plenty of conversation to be had with the realities of the situation. It's bad as is.
#and people get mad at us about 'short updates' lmfao#the companies are absolutely abusing our passion and our desperate situations#but readers genuinely offer little to no grace#if I am going to be able to leave#then the conditions for me to be able to leave need to exist#and they just Dont right now#I'm not making nearly enough to pay my bills without webtoon#I NEED the job#I dont have a car#I cant fucking afford one#I can't drive anyway#I NEED TO WORK#THIS IS MY JOB#I want to leave I'm being mistreated but I CANT!!!#anyways. whatever#I'm so fucking upset that someone just idk spread misinformation#and now the conversation is about like nooo she was under the same shit conditions as everyone else#she's just a really good writer#like okay that's awesome and I'm really glad#but WOULDNT IT BE NICE IF SHE WASNT ALSO OVERWORKED?#AND ALSO IF GOOD WRITERS WERE ABLE TO WRITE WELL WITHOUT HAVING TO BE OUTLIERS???#god it makes me so so so mad!!!!#fucking ruining a really important conversation to have!!!#we're mistreated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we just are!!!!!!!!!!1#I'm not paid enough to build the savings to take risks!#this 6 month break was EVERYTHING#I NEED to start working to pay my bills now#like it's over I ran out of time#its heartbreaking#I hate it here
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Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.
It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).
It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.
(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).
It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).
It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.
It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.
It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.
She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)

It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.
It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.
Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.
On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)

#txt#pjsk#project sekai#mizuki akiyama#akiyama mizuki#ena5#ena shinonome#shinonome ena#25 ji nightcord de#niigo#n25#mizuena#i'll tag it for the shippers too bc why not they'll enjoy this#closing my eyes and hitting post because on one hand i want to keep editing this because it's a mess but if i spend another minute on this#I Will explode#physically i have moved on mentally i am still staring at that damn card on my monitor while the music swells and mizuki is wailing out#that damn image has like actually rearranged my brain chemistry it's not even funny#i'm so fucking weak for this specific character dynamic/relationship yeah it might be cliche yeah i'm lame whatever#but like. FUCKKKK THEY DID IT SO WELL. THIS IS ACTUALLY INSANE. they put so much care into mizuki as a character it's crazy#oh mizuki. i hope you find peace and happiness.#i hope you look around you and the people you've surrounded yourself with one day and realize that you've found safety#anyways yeah sorry this is incomprehensible nonsense also sorry if the pronouns were confusing i hc she/they for mizuki#y'know partway through writing this i half considered turning this around into a fic but like. nahhhhh. tumblr text word vomit it is#sorry about the *checks* 1.4K word text ramble. but thanks for reading if you got here B))
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itâs one of those days.Â
you walk over to his fraternityâs house, mind racing in too many directions to count as you approach the door to his room, giving it a tentative knock.Â
the door swings open and Patrickâs gaze softens as he sees you, familiar smile lines and dimples gracing his handsome face.Â
you say nothing, closing the door behind you. and nothing needed to be said.
his arms wrap around you, slotting you into the spot against his body that had become yours. you feel yourself melt a little as you exhale, letting out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding.
the sounds of some re-run of futurama play on his tv and fill the room as you inhale the familiar scent of camel cigarettes and sweat and expensive cologne he didnât pay for himself.Â
home. he smelled like home.Â
Patrick flops onto his bed, pulling you into his arms. his hands come up to cup your cheeks, stroking them with his thumbs.
"you're thinking too hard," he says, words muffled as he nuzzles the top of your head. "can smell the smoke."
you shake your head, letting out a little snort. can practically hear the smirk on his face.
he squeezes you tighter.
#patrick zweig x reader#patrick zweig fluff#patrick zweig#fratboy!patrick au#i told u! in my head he's a sweetie#anyway this is for me because i'm fucking anxious#also for anyone this resonates with <33 mwah#slush writes ๨ŕ§âË#sfw patrick writing?? who is this
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At last, here it is. A while ago, I had the pleasure of commissioning the wonderful @lokorum to portray my beloved idiots in all of their tragic glory.
So without further ado, after months, here's the first chapter of my durgetash-centred, possibly very long, post-canon Genfic (cuz even if he's not featured in the picture, he's very much the one behind it, and yes, I said genfic but they do fuck, there's just also other themes that are more important than whatever it is those guys got going on).
https://archiveofourown.org/works/63147115
Rated M; further elaboration, summary etc behind the cut.
As per usual, please mind the tags. This is rated mature and may turn explicit depending onâlet's be so frânothing but my mood. It IS a tragedy. I know how it ends. Trust me when I stress the tragedy part. I'm writing this story through tears at times. There's fluff, there is hurt comfort, there is true old man yaoi but there is just as much 'doves that aren't simply dead but rotten' and pain.
So to everyone who's not scared shitless yet (which is very valid), here's a summary:
The year is around 1530 DR. The once-revered and reformed Bhaalspawn returns to the city he had both saved and nearly doomed, emerging from his exile in the Underdark. Though he claims to seek only rest, the city's de facto ruler, Archduke Gortash, sees through the monsterâs carefully crafted facade. Perhaps if the elf had never saved the Banite all those years agoâwhen he was little more than a blurred and distant memoryâhis own fate might have unfolded differently, perhaps even more mercifully. But regrets have long since lost their weight. The past is immutable, and all that remainsâall that truly matters to him nowâis the purpose that once again draws him into this treacherous den.
And on a personal note; I'm still squealing and shoving this artwork into the face of everyone I meet irl. I absolutely adore it. I'm not sure I'll be stopping with that soon. You will see reblogs.
Again. Tragedy. I mean it. There's fluffy moments, but I will absolutely exploit them to enhance the pain. I'm dead serious about Bhaal being able to learn from me. I caused his kid more agony than he could ever dream of delivering. And I haven't even shared the worst parts yet.
Edit: I also mean the psychological warfare tag. It's my guilty pleasure. And whatever over one year of obsession amounts to.
#durgetash#the dark urge/enver gortash#durgetash fic#dark urge/gortash#durge OC#enver gortash#gortash#bg3 the dark urge#bg3 durge#bg3 dark urge#durge/gortash#bg3#daemons writing#yes I am slapping this into the tags cuz this is all 100% gortash's fault#I may have also stared down the post button longer than I'd like#this is a tragedy pls pls pls heed my warning#also again thank you lokorum for this beautiful artwork#choosing between the versions truly is impossible even now#anyway hope y'all like yada yada time to become an offline hermit for a week#I'll make a master post later i promise#and just cuz I can thank you again lokorum#and dear moots who never fail to encourage my tragedy loving arse#also now that i have regained my ao3 login#i will get to answering the beautiful comments i've gotten during my 'hiatus'#please just give me a while i'm socially awkward as fuck#okay time for the offline hermit bit to commence while the dread takes ahold of me#at least until tmr#oc: fine
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do i ship wincest. yeah they're an inseparable pair on a narrative and thematic level, can you truly understand one without understanding the other? they're two halves of a dialectic on heroism and sacrifice. they're two points on the family trauma survivor spectrum, sometimes opposing, sometimes intersecting. they're like watching your parents who should've gotten a divorce years ago somehow stay together, against all reason. they're two inheritors of a rugged American masculinity and isolated individualism, internal and external violence springing forth. regressing to the nostalgia of frontier brotherhood as substitute for the nuclear family. they're a set of quintessential outlaw lovers. maybe true love only exists in the kind of freedom you keep when you're always moving, on the road, in your childlike bubble excluded from society, left with nowhere to burrow your roots except into each other's very being. they're the world's loneliest childhood shared between two feral dogs, one biting down on the other, unable to let go. they're the fantasy of an unconditional love so powerful it can survive the apocalyptic enormity of your own self-loathing. they're a set of matryoshka dolls, one consuming the other. journeys end in lovers meeting, but what kind of journey is it really when you've never left home: it's been sitting in the seat next to you this entire time. your haunted house is not a home but a person who'll never let go. they're an erotic fantasy of domestic horror as a sweet, sickening embrace as opposed to an all-consuming fire, a car driving off into heaven's sunset as opposed to one crashing into a tree. (wrong: they're both). so horribly enmeshed and trapped in a magnified love so destructive to the world around them they leave catherine and heathcliff wuthering heights in the dust. they're two brothers trapped in a 15 year long spiral of an abusive codependent pseudo-marriage, in part due to a network unable to let go of a successful show format, thus unable to afford them any growth that might disturb the status quo. but the implications of it all.
#when the fuck did i write this. anyways. in case anyone was ever in doub about what i'm about#wincest#samdean#also shipping =/= the primary way i interpret characters or a story lol. it's like tiramisu after dinner. a lil dessert as a treat.#honestly 75% they're like a Hegelian dialectic discoursing on the outcomes of childhood abuse in my mind#my meta#j.txt
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How many people witnessed softie food addict horror who needed something in his mouth or he would actively kill and turn to cannibalism đ§ââď¸ or was that just me.... anyways honestly it was silly.. he'd maybe get along with cook horror... I just like fanon crossovers guys*sadge
Anyways canon horror is also silly(really silly. What an asshole, man)(no seriously he's actually such an asshole.. I might love him for that but-) I don't think he would get along with the others(loser)
#me when I acknowledge as many sides of an argument as possible which just makes me confused because I am trying to take off of other people#but they're so diverse that I can't mix all of it and so I don't know how to interpret any characters anymore and what makes it worse is my#ahh not actually understanding people or relationships because I got minimum emotions maximum carelessness but I also love emotions so I#love the psychological torture of all of this but I also don't understand it so I'm depending on everyone else but yet again they're so#mixed I get confused and I don't know how to deal with any of it so I'm just here standing confused screaming in my own mind as I try to#understand how to make it all work together and then#....#Jesus fuck#sans au#utmv#undertale au#horrortale#horror sans#UwU#anyways disregard any ideas I may have ever because they will always change and I don't know what to do anymore.......#bro I'm boutta resort to Wattpad fics.... get ready for Wattpad highschool ficđź/j#I want to do that but I lost my fluidity in writing sighs...#I never graduated from Wattpad sorry guysđ#I didn't do that well drawing canon horror tbh but it'll have to do
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am i doing this? am i really doing this?
Qi Qingqi made for an incredibly handsome man, which Shang Qinghua would have expected if he had thought about it for more than five seconds. Like, of course she would be. All peak lords of Cang Qiong were incredibly attractive! No matter what kind of weird genderswapping plants you threw at them, the attractiveness quotient would remain constant! Shang Qinghua thanked god (him) everyday for surrounding him with peerless beauties!
Seriously, she had this cool and aloof young master thing going on. You know, tall, cold, a little mean. The sort of aura that belonged to a tyrant CEO in those boss x secretary novels. Shang Qinghua was into it.
Shang Qinghua would be more into it if it didn't look like she was going to kill him!
Why? What did he do? It wasn't like it was his fault they got hit with papapa pollen! That was just a hazard of being alive!
Maybe if he pretended the death glare was poorly disguised homoerotic tension? Shang Qinghua did this sometimes when Mobei-jun was really mad. It worked wonders for his confidence level!
#shang qinghua#qi qingqi#svsss#my writing#you don't understand. i'm going insane. holy fuck#AM i doing this?#hahaha probably not#but here's this thing anyway
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