#but fuck i miss their old stuff
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Im listening to Double Dare for the first time in years and I feel like im being punched in the face with nostalgia rn
#i love new parx#but fuck i miss their old stuff#waterparks#parx#awsten knight#i love them sm#reminds me of early middle school#me and my bestie found them together while facetiming#double dare
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To the next adventure...
Image description and details under cut
I.D.
[A drawing of Nicky, Joe, Quynh, and Andy from The Old Guard. They are all in profile, walking in a straight line facing the sun. They are dressed in medieval clothing and armour, and each carry their own weapons and bags. Nicky has his sword, a crossbow, a quiver of bolts, a dagger at his belt and another strapped to his ankle. Joe is holding his sword, a bag, and a coin purse. Quynh's bow is over her back, and her quiver is at her hip. Two daggers are strapped to her belt, one of them matching Nicky's. Andy is holding her axe, two bags, and a dagger. They each have serene expressions and closed eyes, as if they're not in a hurry. In the background, the seasons change from winter to spring, summer, fall. There is an old tree behind them, and its branches change with the seasons.]
#tog#the old guard#nicolo di genova#yusuf al kaysani#quynh#andromache of scythia#the old gays#siggy draws#FINALLY. this took... 3 months altogether? FUCK i miss these four.#apologies if my image description is super long. i really enjoy drawing all these tiny details...#director's commentary as usual:#when i draw stuff like this it's usually because i'm working on a big fic. and i am. but also it is taking me over a year so far#because i'm finishing my undergrad. but i do plan to finish the fic!#regardless they could be walking anywhere.#tried to keep it sometime around the 14th century. i always try to put them in clothes that reflect their personalities -#- and places of origin more or less.#andromache's mail is old af and not in good shape. only she and nicolo have spurs so i guess they would be the riders if they had horses#but i am not about to attempt to draw a horse lol#details i like: nicky's little hat to protect his hair from his chainmail. his and quynh's matching daggers. yusuf's fancy-boy armour.#quynh's leg wraps and her jerkin. and andy's super old chainmail and her whip braids <3#where are they going? where did they come from? it's up to ye.
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hasbro is killing g5 mlp, which means it's officially my city now...say hello to my new and suspiciously familiar "ocs"
#my little pony#mlp#g5 mlp#mlp g5#g5 my little pony#mlp g5 fanart#mlp g5 redesign#my art#sunzy#stormblazer#izzy moonbow#misty mlp#misty brightdawn#sunny starscout#hitch trailblazer#zipp storm#pipp petals#opaline mlp#sprout cloverleaf#allura mlp#twitch mlp#sparky sparkeroni#sparky mlp#flurry heart#<- spoiler alert i'm making that old theory about flurry heart turning into opaline real in my personal visions of g5#i tagged this with sunzy but technically that drawing is a polycule with sunny izzy and misty#but idk wtf to tag for g5 stuff. i have so many visions nobody else gives a fuck about.#hopefully i'll start writing g5 fics now that hasbro is killing it...i need to save these characters G5 IS MY BABY I ADORE IT#i'm so miserable about how g5 has been treated so i'm going to do my own thing with it. i'm going to miss it soooo much so i'm coping.#stay tuned for more out of context self-indulgent niche au g5 mlp art.........this is how i am getting through the deaths of mym and tyt.
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high school joui 4 shenanigans
#deep breaths takasugi#the worst friend group you will ever know#only ones who can somehow tolerate each other#gintoki’s one worst quality is that he cannot shut the fuck up#i couldn’t stop thinking of them after watching daily lives of highschool boys and they’d get up to so much dumb shit actually#can you tell i kind of miss my high school days#i sound so old when i say that wtf im 19#painting has been a lot of fun lately i will not lie#but also college starts like. day after tomorrow im so cooked#GINTAMA OBSESSION PLEASE GET ME THROUGH ANOTHER TERM 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽#i might draw some ginhiji stuff to accompany this later bc of course i will#i am nothing if not predictable to my audience#anyways#sakata gintoki#katsura kotarou#sakamoto tatsuma#takasugi shinsuke#joui 4#gintama#ok bye
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The child queen of a world born anew!! What will she do!
#what a way to celebrate my graduation#the fragile threads of power#shades of magic#adsom#the threads of power#it's book fanart y'all!! I think this is the first time ever that I'm doing art for books#since it's not visual medium it was super fun to draw a character entirely the way my imagination gave shape to them#you'd think it's the same with podcasts but most have such consistent fanon designs that it's hard to deviate from it#so I'm reading the new book in the world of the shades of magic trilogy by v. e. schwab and it's so fucking good#I've missed the old characters so badly and I love the new ones just as much aaaaaaa#kosika of white london#that doesn't seem to exist as a tag so I'm hereby creating it#I'll also be back on my usual stuff so be ready for a lot of that!!! I wanna draw so much now that I can#I've missed the handful of ppl I know on here#shrews art#cw blood#victoria schwab#illustration#art
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The amount of shit I will shove onto one canvas and then try to post the pictures as if they’re separate is ridiculous
#this is why so much of my stuff is a lower quality than it could be#my art#digital art#lego monkie kid#lmk fanart#lmk mk#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel husk#radioapple#huskerdust#dsmp ranboo#Jesus fucking Christ these tags#good god I’m so sorry to the poor soul who’s trying to go through the ‘dsmp ranboo’ tag and sees hazbin hotel#if it looks like there’s stuff missing or erased- there is#I just deemed those sketches to bad to show haha#A COUPLE OF THESE ARE VERY OLD BTW PLZ DONT JUDGE ME 😭🙏
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I rarely take pictures anymore. It’s like I just don’t want to remember any moment from this part of my life lol
#me#mine#girls with tattoos#myself#girls with glasses#girls with piercings#fairy aesthetic#fairycore#you know I come on here or I look through Snapchat memories#and even at my saddest I did not know or understand real pain#now that I do I feel so different#so old and so worn out#I feel like all the color has drained from my being#I’m not even a person anymore#I have horrid ptsd now#the only way I can really hangout with my dad is to play iPhone chess bc he’s sitting in a fucking hospital bed#oh god it all hurts so bad to think about#it makes me want to throw up#I miss who I was three years ago before all the pain#how does someone even come back from all of this#how do I see the things I’ve seen and lose what’s I’ve lost and move on to live a normal life#I had seemed to learn every life lesson the hard way and always fall in love with the wrong ppl#I had a very tough time loving myself which is still true#but that was all stuff like I could live with and grow from#this is just a deep set pain idk
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IT IS TIME. BASTARD FAMILY LINEUP 2023 BABY!!!! WOOO!!
#the hollowridge disaster#oc ref sheet#dragonfang#adam#knife#adriel#dianne#nirven#beial#richard#december#WOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE ALL THESE GUYS SO MUCH i have been working so hard on this for a few days im so excited to have it done#also before you ask yes adris jacket is grey in this because it fits the b/w theme i want for HR but canonically its teal denim still#that has not changed#ALSO ADAM WEIGHT RIGHTS. PUT SOME HEFT ON THAT GUY#no longer a malnourished emo boy. hes still emo though.#and bei melanin rights too#im gonna explode i love these guys so much i need to show this asap on god!!!#if you are new here i hope u like them!! if you are an old fan/follower i hope u love them still!! :DDD i got a lot of stuff planned#hollowridge my fucking beloved of all time how i have missed you so..............................#💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
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Hi wife! Thinking about you. Should we buy a hot tub? Or a sauna? Or both?
Also thinking about the werewolf fic. I would be delighted if there was full werewolf smut in the werewolf fic👀👀 When will my wife (you) return from the war (writing the werewolf fic)?
Also thinking about the hilarity of tim hearing jason talk about his “time of the month” and ofc assuming it’s about Jason being trans when jason is talking about wolfing out. Picture:
Tim: “-and I brought chocolate-“
Jason: “Are you trying to kill me? canines can’t have chocolate!”
after some confusion they clarify things (jason is trans, not a big deal, he’s a werewolf, also not a big deal). Then (important for plot and character development) they have dirty dirty werewolf sex :)
Hehehe hello darling, you are always near my thoughts <3 And ohhh I could use a dip in a hot tub, especially now that winter has come to my climes >.< Though I fear a sauna would never see its use with me, haha
I am ALSO thinking about werewolf fic. Nigh constantly these days. I am deep in the trenches. I am furiously pondering how to reconcile the idea I had sketched most of the bones of almost an entire year ago with what I think and like now. It's been a bit of a battle. One I am fighting... tooth and claw you might say ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_ (badum tsh)
Alas, while I don't want to give too much away, I feel I must warn you that the kind of werewolf Jason is in werewolf fic is more in line with 'that's just a wild animal' and less 'monsterfucker furry.' So while we'll see some very animalistic behaviors from Jason (what with the scenting and the licking and the biting and the growling etc) and some occasional signs that he's on the verge of wolfing out, there is no actual wolfed out smut lmao OTL. Please enjoy a small sneak peek of what I kind of sort of mean at the bottom of this post <3
For actual werewolf smut you'll want to look forward to the timestamp/smutty sequel I fully intend to write for my vamp!Tim and werewolf!Jay fic, in which he is absolutely the monsterfucker furry kind of werewolf and Tim takes gleeful advantage of that fact lololol (but werewolf fic comes first...! It Is Time. I Will Not Be Distracted.)
And omg yes. I do very much love the trans 🤝 werewolf overlap and metaphors, it's one of my favorite things fr fr (you got me thinking about trans lesbians jaytim now--)
I LOVE assuming there's a mundane explanation for a supernatural secret, that's my JAM (Do know that our early correspondences live rent free in my WIP document and that I would eventually also like to write the goofy sitcom-esque romcom in which Jason isn't quite hiding his lycanthropy from Tim - but Tim's not really clocking it either lmfao)
--and it must be said that dirty dirty werewolf sex will always be VITAL to both plot and character development <33 (it certainly is to werewolf fic, even if the werewolf part of that sex is mostly in the vibes lolol)
Anyway, here's wonderwall a sneak peek leading up to some of the smut in werewolf fic:
Jason snaps his teeth sharply, inches from Tim’s throat. It's not an empty gesture, and Tim wildly thinks through his options, squeezing tight with his knees around Jason’s thick waist so he can’t buck Tim off immediately. Jason is too strong and Tim is too light; he can’t stay here forever. Jason writhes underneath him, looking for leverage. With his shoulders trapped under Tim’s staff, Jason plants his feet and surges his hips in a powerful, cresting motion. Tim sinks back on his haunches to keep him down, then forward again when he threatens to break free. In Jason’s struggle, he rocks up just as Tim rocks down— and they inadvertently grind together. Tim's stomach curls and tangles in an electric jolt of heat at the glancing friction. He realizes with a spike of hot, mortified shame that he's— Tim is hard under his uniform. He sucks in a short gasp, trying to hide it, and Jason— —whines.
#this isn't quite new - this is some of the old stuff I had written back in February this year TuT alas the newer stuff is too plot relevant#for you see... all of the smut in werewolf fic... is plot relevant smut. such is the nature of an enemies with benefits to lovers fic lmao#also such is the nature of me i can't fucking help it lmaoooo#i'm always thinking about Them (plot relevant jaytim werewolf smut)#but yeah there are Reasons why Jason stays human with Tim most of the time lol and you'll probs be able to guess why ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#🍷💥anon#i miss you my wife </3 thinking of you from this side of the pacific#fun fact: i wrote intricate rituals in part as a fluffy distraction from the angst of werewolf fic#the girls are fightingggg#asked and answered#my writing#jaytim
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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Oh to listen to Fall Out Boy’s hit album Save Rock and Roll again for the very first time . . . As an ex-Catholic that was the closest I could ever get to a god in the heavens once more (it was Elton John)
#this album means...a lot#man not to be old but I miss those fucking days#rip past Kate#fob#fall out boy#save rock and roll#funny#fob meme#meme#memes#funny memes#funny stuff#funny post#punk rock#punk music#emocore#emo music#emo
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What we thinking of the setup /j
I spent all day making my desktop look like this & love it sm lol it was so much fun doing it and looking and learning all the stuff.
Anyways im back from my midterms break and hopefully im gonna start back up again!!! Yay!!! But first i have to finish a section of the reference sheet i was working on :-)
#thats his habitat. Enrichment.#oughhhh dont get me started on the little rabbit hole i went down when getting windows media player 9 skins#now i need to make one of those ‘character on default computer background’ wallpapers with spamton to get the whole deal#…don’t analyze my desktop.. its barebones because im still getting stuff back on from my old computer#and this sudden motivation to change the entirety of my windows to look like XP was all because my family member showed me an old tower with#XP he was working on and i got to look around and explore it and even draw spamton… and i realized#Wow. I am missing out. I hate the windows 10 look but i never fully took in how fucking lame it is.#so i took it upon myself to research everything to make it look like XP. Even the windows menu!!!!#if you guys (the one person reading the tags) want to see the spam i drew on XP i can post it :-)
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People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.
#very much so#tell me you where only here cause of the looks without telling me your only here cause of the looks#listen. I miss the old masks already too. that’s not the point.#you can mourn for something without that taking away your joy for it.#‘it’s all moving so fast’ iii has been turning red since July.#‘they’re evolving too fast’ or we just got here later then others.#‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one#‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans#I’m gonna be a sleep token fan til the end. if this is the way they want their image to go? I’ll follow. if we get heavier music next?#sounds fucking amazing to me. (I listen to heavier stuff anyway).#idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t#mean it when you said sleep token was important to you.#like I’m 100% MOURNING the old masks. I am BMO with Finn’s old hair sobbing about the old masks.#but I know this too shall pass#this is how I fucking felt about Vessel’s mask change#and to everyone going ‘what about Vessel and the Chior!’#1). VESSEL HAD A MASK CHANGE EARLIER THIS YEAR!!! he isn’t gonna change masks again so fast those fuckers r expensive!#2). the choir did have a change?? they wherent wearing robes at all and where in body chains they looked amazing#I get we are all neurodiverse and hate change but take a deep breath before you renounce all your sleep token love#I’m guessing Vessel will get a new mask in April again. for the kick off show.#tonight was a closing show. and he didn’t FEEL GOOD. I wouldn’t be surprised that if he was gonna do something with a new mask#if he pushed it back because he didn’t feel good.#he performed a whole show while we could TELL his throat was hurting. fuck.#I want to wrap him up in a warm hug and give him hot water with honey in it.#idk I’m rambling. it’s just telling.
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For anyone who might remember, this is tlouobsessed, I impulsively deleted my blog a few months ago. I used to make analysis posts on the last of us episodes and occasionally wrote a ficlet or two, I have truly missed it on here and need the comfort again, life has been...not so lovely and I desperately need the distractions . Anyways this is like a Hello Again.
#if interested I am again taking requests on analysis posts or fics you wanna see#let it be whump or fluff about joel and ellie#no x reader stuff or stuff like that#I have truly missed it on here#tlou#the last of us#the blog name is temporary#funny enough I made this blog a week ago and followed a few blogs and then deleted it again#Im an anxious mess but ahhh#Im rambeling#joel and ellie#the blog will be taking the same old route#but ofcourse now pedro has some very exciting projects lined up so we will be freaking out about that too#I kinda wanna just analyse the trailer of gladiator#It sounds so douchy when I say “to anyone who remembers” like bitch who the fuck do you think you are :D#hi again anyways#pedro pascal
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Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?
not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.
i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.
which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.
and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.
i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!
#necrotic festerings#batcest#pro ship#necrotic answerings#tbh asking the question gave me the chance to explain it so ty!#might link this in my about me or my masterlist for ease of access#i don't want to like. overstate how big i was on an old blog bc i was not like. a celebrity by *any* means.#but i had a ship-specific blog and i was certainly a “big name fan” for that specific rarepair#and it like. took over my life when i was a teen#i look back on it fondly now but i really regret that i would obsess so heavily over numbers and what made a fic do well#my favorite fics to write were htp back then bc for htp culture writing on anon was normal since that was during the dreamwidth days#and i just. liked that veil of anonymity and i think i defaulted to that when i decided to finally start posting batcest stuff#(all of this makes me sound so old i'm only 22 i just started fandom really fucking young which i don't recommend)#and when i say one fic got big. i mean it. i have found that fic on instagram and pinterest and tiktok and even. facebook.#do you know what it's like when your fic gets reuploaded to facebook without your permission and you see what boomers think of it.#that was so mortifying.#funnily enough the boomers were actually really nice i was just shocked to find it there scrolling one day.#it was instagram that was super mean to me and traumatized my ass. man ppl dug into me for the tinest things. do not miss that.#anyway the point is#i've tasted vitality and niche fandom status(tm) and i hated both. and i just cannot do that to myself again#ergo#anon on ao3 and a blog to post my thoughts when i have them.#it's a nice system for me#i have some stuff on my main ao3 that toes the line of like. dark dead dove trash.#and i had antis get mad at me bc their fave fluffy fic was written by. gasp. a proshipper.#and yeah that soured me to existence on ao3.#getting into the rise of anti culture is a whole other discussion that'd have me going on for hours but i will shut up now.#wow this got long. i like to fucking talk don't i.
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sorry for not posting much these past few days, i am currently like a christmas dish that's been put in the freezer for later
#💌 personal#kind of literally#my house is like a century old and has the heating appropriate for that lmao#which means that im fucking COLD most of the time#and its kind of hard to be productive when your fingers are freezing off#i miss being in the dorm at least its warm there </3#also ive been taking some time to just. recharge creatively#reading and working on some of my original projects n stuff#and also trying to study because my finals are in like. a month#but we'll be back to regularly scheduled content soon i prommy <3
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