#but for these guys it’s like eh oh well

[nerdlydelicious]

Penny: “Grimm ahead!”

Jaune: “Careful, you don’t want to catch their ligma.”

Penny: “What is ‘ligma’?”

Jaune: “ligma balls!”

…

Jaune: “That was a joke. You guys can laugh.”

Penny: “I do not understand. Please explain the joke.”

Jaune: “Eh, it’s not really a joke if you explain it…”

Penny: puppy dog eyes

Jaune: folds like a lawnchair “Alright, alright. So ligma isn’t actually a thing. So naturally, you ask ‘what is ligma?’ and I say ‘ligma balls’, which sounds like ‘lick my balls’. Which is funny because, you know, you wouldn’t do that.”

Penny: “Well, I do possess a tongue.”

Jaune: slight blush “W-well no, not wouldn’t because you can’t. You wouldn’t because… it’s straight? I think?”

Jaune: whispering “Am I being heterophobic?”

Penny: “I’m afraid I do not comprehend. To install humor driver, insert the correct CDs.”

Jaune: “What CDs?”

Penny: “SEE DEEZ NUUUUUUTS!”

Jaune: “Oh my god.”

Penny: “LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.”

Jaune: “I should have stayed in Argus.”

[gearsandhammers]

7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN : VITKOR X M!READER

synopsis : it's jayce's birthday, and somehow, you and viktor get shoved into a cramped, dark closet, and you're supposed to do what..?

warnings / tw : no tws except for how i didn't proofread this at all, save for grammarly ig

pairing : viktor x male reader | m/m

author's notes : hi so turns out i get carried away really easily and it's not actually that short but that's a good thing... right? but there is a longer viktor one coming soon i promise!! anyways happy reading and good day/night! xo, kai

You, Viktor, and a bunch of your friends are at Jayce’s birthday party. You're all drunk, having played a lot of drinking games, and you're all pumped with adrenaline.

Your head’s gonna hurt a lot tomorrow, but that’s a problem for future you. Right now, Viktor is being pushed into a closet with you, playing 7 Minutes in Heaven.

"Alrighty, get in there!" Jayce and Sky shove you and Viktor into the closet.

“Man, but it’s dark in there...” you whine.

“I don’t care, you’re going in and you’re gonna like it.” they shove you into the closet, the door shutting behind you, shrouding you and Viktor in darkness.

"So... hi?" you rock back and forth on your heels. You try to force yourself back on the wall, trying not to press up against him, but failing miserably.

"Eh.. hello. So, we are supposed to do... what?" Viktor queries. You can't see him, but you can feel the heat radiating off his face. You can't totally tell if it's from the alcohol or the proximity, but it's probably a mix of both.

"Well, we're technically supposed to make out or something like that, but we can just chat for seven minutes if you wan–" you explain, at least you try to before being so rudely interrupted.

"No, I want to make out." Viktor interrupts you, and you freeze. Your face turns bright red, and even though it's dark, your eyes adjust and he can feel your face get hot.

"W-what?" Your voice cracks, and you hit your chest and cough into your elbow. "I mean, sure, if you want to I'll totally make out with you if you want, I'd love to, it's not like I've been thinking about kissing you for the last two years–" you start to ramble. You found out not very long ago that when you're drunk, you ramble. A lot. But lucky you, Viktor likes interrupting you. And this time, it feels a lot better.

Viktor's lips crash into yours, a wave of relief washing over you like the tides. His cane clatters to the ground and his hands snake into your hair and around your waist, and your movements mimic his. You push yourself flush against him, a stark contrast to earlier. He groans into your mouth as you drive against him, letting you support him as his cane sits on the ground, a fly on the wall.

You lose track of time easily, and at that point, his knees are jelly. Your knee sits in between his, and he's practically sitting on it to keep himself standing. You're this close to tearing his clothes off when the door handle clicks and the door opens, the light spilling into the closet like liquid. You pull away from Viktor, and you both shade your eyes from the light with your hand. Jayce stands in the doorway, peeking in.

"Hey, loveb– oh my gods, you guys are all over each other. Vik, you look..." Jayce gawks.

"S-shut up, Jayce." Viktor retaliates, though not very effectively. You pry yourselves away from each other, and you pick up Viktor's cane and hand it to him as he smoothes his hair down. "Thank you."

You nod as Jayce steps aside to let you and Viktor out. He sits down on the couch, and you sit down on the floor, leaning back on the couch as Caitlyn and Vi are shoved in to replace you and Viktor. You look back up at Viktor, and you motion for him to come closer. He leans down to you.

"You'd better finish what you started. Yours or mine?"

[mamawasatesttube]

6 or 17 for TimKon? :)

6. "Don't move, you're still hurt." 17. "Can you hear me?"

Consciousness slams into Tim like a breaking wave. It knocks the breath from his lungs and leaves him spluttering, gasping for breath—an instant mistake, because painpainpain explodes in his chest so hard he nearly passes out again.

"Whoa, Rob, chill out! Don't you dare move. You're still hurt!"

Kon, Tim thinks woozily, trying his hardest to blink the stars from his vision. He can't breathe from the agony. But he... he needs to protect Kon. A vague sense of impending doom floats through his mind, something green, something...

A tower. Why is he thinking of a tower? And blood. So much blood.

He has to protect Kon—

He can't move. He tries to sit up again and he can't move. A gentle but immovable pressure surrounds his whole body, keeping him in place, and he can't move. Panic floods him. He needs to protect Kon and he can't move and—

"Dammit, Rob, I said keep still! Can you hear me?"

...Oh. For the first time, Tim realizes that there's a reason that "blinking the stars out of his vision" didn't work. He never actually opened his eyes.

With effort, he forces his eyelids up, squinting against the dust in the air. He coughs. Pain lances through his chest.

Kon swears under his breath. He's—he's here? He's not hurt? He's... crouching in the rubble, bodily shielding Tim, and... and he's okay. He isn't bleeding, his body is whole and not twisted and broken and bloodied, and... and...

Emotion wells up in Tim's chest, underneath all the pain. He clears his throat and rasps, "Kon?"

"Hey, hot stuff." Kon flashes him a quick smile. "Hold still. You've got four broken ribs. Maybe a concussion too. Hard to say this soon, but..."

Oh. That would explain why breathing hurts. Tim squints up at Kon, then around him, trying to figure out where everyone else went. Weren't they fighting some... guy? Guys? Some Intergang guys... Right, and they were armed with Apokoliptian, um... thingies. And...

Now Tim remembers the reason for "green". Someone had a Kryptonite-tipped rifle round. Musta paid a fortune to Luthor to get that, or else they were doing the bastard a favor. Ugh...

"Your spine isn't damaged, thankfully," Kon continues. He tilts his head and narrows his eyes off into the distance, listening to something Tim can't hear, watching something Tim can't watch, and then looks back down to Tim. "Okay. Coast is clear. I'm gonna get you to the hospital."

Hospital? Eh. Everyone knows broken ribs just need a few weeks of rest. Tim grunts. "Hn. 'M fine."

Kon gives him the flattest look known to mankind. "You need a CT scan to check if you have a concussion. Also, need I remind you, four broken ribs?"

He exhales shortly, raking a hand through his hair; he only does that when he's stressed. He rests his hand on Tim's hip, and suddenly they're both floating into the air. It's odd, because Tim is still laid out flat and can't actually move, but he's used to Kon by now.

Still, though. "S'only flesh wounds." He just needs to sleep it all off. It's fine. They can watch Monty Python while he rests.

Kon, though, doesn't seem to appreciate the humor. The sky is a brilliant blue around him; the wind whips his ponytail around his face. He looks unimpressed. "Tim, your suit might be made of kevlar 'n' stuff, but it's not made to stop rifle rounds! Seriously, what were you thinking?"

Tim frowns. Isn't it obvious what he was thinking? "Had to protect you."

Kon stares at him for a long moment, flying effortlessly towards Metropolis General Hospital without even having to look. Several emotions flicker through his eyes too fast for Tim's dazed mind to follow, until finally he sighs, rakes his free hand through his hair again, and mutters, "What am I gonna do with you?"

That's another question with an obvious answer. Tim grunts again. "Mmph. Cherish and love me forever. Duh."

This time, he wins—Kon smiles despite himself, shaking his head as he starts descending towards the hospital rooftop. "Yeah, okay," he says, and leans down to brush his lips to Tim's dusty cheek. "Guess I'm okay with that."

Tim smiles.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for Tim falling for you

Tim Bradford x reader

warnings:

a/n: im gonna be so honest i love him your honor

prompt: @sacredwarrior88: “May I please request headcanons for Tim falling in love with a female detective who's also a veteran and swore off love and relationships after her divorce?”

you’d just transferred to mid wilshire a few months prior

and from the moment tim heard you complaining about discipline and rookies needing a kick in the ass—he was head over heels

you were also a veteran, he felt a connection with you for that

he’d always make small talk with you

“so, where’d you serve?” -tim

he was cute and all, you just weren’t ready to fall in love again—or ever

“you know, i think tim really likes you, l/n” -lucy

“oh, i know” -you “you don’t become a sergeant in the army and not be able to tell when a boy has a crush on you”

“so? you don’t like him back or something. he’s a great guy, he was my TO. i mean, he’s a hard ass, but like, he’s a great guy” -lucy

“i appreciate you trying to help, but i’m not here looking for a relationship, chen” -you

harper and lopez would rag on him constantly for not making a move

“they just got here, i’ll give it a few more months” -tim

“it’s been a few months, what’s really going on?” -lopez

“yeah, bradford, i never took you for a shy guy” -harper

“we’ve been out for a few beers, it’s just…” -tim

“well, spit it out!” -lopez

“y/n just got divorced and told me they don’t want to get into anything serious—ever again” -tim

“wow, your dream partner just walks into your life and is unattainable by means of hating all men” -harper

“well, you thought you’d never find love again after your divorce and look at how far you’ve come, tim. at least give it a little time” -lopez

“isn’t that what i just said?” -tim

“i get where y/n’s coming from, though. i mean, after i got divorced i was over all men forever. now i’ve got a husband and another beautiful daughter” -harper

tim felt really discouraged, he thought you were perfect for him but he understood that dating a coworker was complicated. so was divorce

but instead of trying to get you, he tried to be there for you

“how’ve you been. new station, new city, new start?” -tim

“it’s fine. taking it day by day” -you

“you know, i could give you some good restaurant recommendations or something?” -tim

“no thanks, lucy beat you to it” -you

“of course she did. you know, she used to be my rookie” -tim

“she told me right after she told me you have a crush on me” -you

tim got red in the face very fast

and you made sure to keep your composure just long enough to make it awkward

“she…she did, did she?” -tim, through clenched teeth

“yep” -you, starting to laugh

“you’re messing with me” -tim

“i’m not, actually. i just think its cute you’re embarrassed” -you “but you already know my story”

“i do. and i hope you can take the time you need before you agree to go out with me, because i don’t think i’m gonna get you out of my head anytime soon” -tim

“ooh, sergeant bradford, i didn’t think i’d get to see this side of you. you’re always tripping over your words with me” -you

“well, i had a helpful talk with some meddling detectives” -tim

“i can take a guess who you’re referring to” -you

“i’d love to grab a beer with you sometime if you’re not ready to date yet, but i’d love to grab dinner with you if you are” -tim

“i’ll give dinner a thought, but for now drinks will do” -you

tim started treating you mostly normal and getting his confidence back since spilling his guts to you over drinks, and the girls were cheering him on every time you were within 20 feet of each other

he started treating you professionally, with a few winks and sly comments here and there

“so, you’re giving bradford a chance?” -lopez

“i’m giving a chance to giving him a chance” -you

“i feel you there, after my divorce i couldn’t imagine dating again, but i’m glad i found it in me to give my husband a chance” -harper

“he’s a good one?” -you

“eh, i’d give him a solid 6 out of 10” -lopez

“yeah? well i’ve been debating taking him up on that dinner, but that six rating really convinced me” -you

you finally found caught tim after shift and gave him the good news and he couldn’t be more excited

really, he’d been planning this date for weeks

and it went amazingly

“can i kiss you?” -tim

“only if you want to” -you

taglist: @summersimmerus //

[mxyirin]

➷ OF THE SWEET DESIRES

𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒 otoya eita x f!reader

Otoya got all the girls, that was something that had been engraved in his mind since he was in elementary.

He had this motto - 'don't chase, just attract.'

Chasing after girls? He didn't need to do something like this.

And well with this came breaking hearts.

Otoya stood with his hands in his pockets as he stared at the girl pouring her heart out for him.

"Sorry, but let's break up." He bluntly said.

"What?"

His mind couldn't keep up with any of the words the girl was saying to him.

Why?

Because he had just seen the most gorgeous girl to ever exist.

With those [h/c] hair that went down to her waist (before anyone comes at me, I have long hair, I love long hair, my life my rules-), she had a beautiful hair clip.

Otoya could only gale at the beauty that was walking in his direction.

She glanced at them, a judgemental look on her face and that's when he saw the beautiful shade of [e/c] in those eyes.

Rolling her eyes, she walked away and all Otoya could do was state at her with his mouth open.

"Holy crap, whos that?" Otoya whispered to his friend.

"Hm? Oh, her!" The guy answered. "That's [Last Name] [Name], the scholarship student on a student exchange program."

"[Name]..." Otoya said to himself with a dreamy look in his eyes.

After a week, they formally met again.

And it was all because he was lucky to be chosen to be her partner for their project.

The white-haired male giggled inwardly as he looked into the mirror to perfect his looks before he could meet [Name] at the school library to begin their project research.

Nodding to himself, Otoya walked out of the bathroom and moved towards the direction of the school library.

"You're late." [Name] said without looking away from the book that she held in her grasp.

Otoya sat in front of her and mustered a charming smile that had never failed.

"I'm sorry, dear [Name]." He replied. "I was held up you know? By all the girls?"

His charming smile failed for the first time.

Because [Name] didn't even bother sparing him a glance.

"Open that blue book in front of you and note down all the important points on my laptop." [Name] instructed as she turned the laptop to face the white-haired male.

Otoya blinked as he stared at the laptop and the book he was supposed to read, his green eyes looking at the beauty with [e/c] eyes who was busy and hadn't looked even once at him.

"Sure..." He replied hesitantly.

It had been a few weeks since they had been working together to complete their project and Otoya had made zero progress with wooing his beloved who stole his heart.

He had tried his best but couldn't thaw [Name]'s cold heart but he was nothing but a determined man on a mission.

"Hey!" Otoya called out to [Name] who was walking with earphones which resulted in her not being able to hear him.

In a hurry, he jogged towards the girl and stood in front of her so she would notice him.

[Name] removed the earphone for one ear as she raised an eyebrow at the white-haired male who was standing in front of her with what seemed a confident look. 

"What is it?"

Otoya chuckled nervously as he spoke.

"So umm..."

He gulped and when he looked into those [e/c] eyes, he was blinded by a lethal face cad making him look away instantly.

"Do you want to go on a date?"

"No."

The immediate refusal stunned Otoya and he turned to face [Name] who blankly stared at him.

"Eh, why?" He asked causing [Name] to roll her eyes at him. "Aren't you a playboy? Why would I go on a date with you?"

Otoya gaped as the moon to his night, the love of his life, the girl of his dream, his dearest [Name] walked away without glancing at him.

He clutched his chest as he stared into nothing like a male lead of a drama going through some serious issues.

"My past..." He spoke dramatically as the wind chose to blow his white hair as he started his words. "Is catching up to me." 

Since Plan A - asking [Name] on a date didn't work, he decided to work on Plan B.

And that was getting rid of his playboy habits so he could show [Name] that he was a changed man.

Thankfully for Otoya, [Name] made no move of bringing back his failed attempt at asking her on a date so he was relieved and thankful, especially since they still met and worked together on their project.

Now how would he show [Name] that he was a changed man? Well, it was simple.

Otoya stopped flirting with everyone to show his crush that he was serious and distanced himself from pretty much everyone, including boys, because who knew if he had accidentally charmed a guy with his dashing looks and personality?

Getting asked out by a girl?

Sorry, miss who I don't know, I'm quite busy. Busy with what you ask? Wooing the girl of his dreams.

Someone getting close to him?

Sorry, miss who I don't like, I have an allergic reaction to anyone apart from [Name] coming close to me.

Getting winked at by someone?

Sorry, miss who are you again, I feel disgusted because I saw your eyes and they weren't those beautiful [e/c] eyes that he had been dreaming of.

The next part of his plan was to make sure [Name] would see him and realise that everyone was shit compared to him.

Otoya had dramatically and in the very fashion of him had declared that the one in his heart was [Name] and everyone getting close to her was his rival.

A guy was sitting next to you during class?

He was keeping his eyes on the ugly guy to make sure he wasn't making moves and by keeping eyes it meant straight-up glaring at the guy's head.

A girl wanting your notes?

He made sure to sneakily glance at them because his dear [Name] was absolutely amazing that regardless of gender everyone couldn't help but fall for her.

A dog asking for a treat?

Wait-

Did dogs ever fall in love with a human?

Otoya immediately opened Google and searched. He stared in horror as he read the first word.

ABSOLUTELY!

'Absolutely?!?' He screeched in his mind.

The final part of his plan was to ask [Name] out, not on a date because he had yet to finish wooing her.

He sat in front of her in the library as he grinned.

"So you know how I'm in the soccer club?" He asked and gained [Name]'s attention.

"Yeah,"

Otoya leaned forward eagerly, "Do you think you can make some free time to watch my important match?"

"Why?" [Name] asked.

"So I can show you how much better I am than your guy seatmate, the girl asking for your notes and that damned dog!" He rambled off.

"Sure."

Otoya smiled so brightly that [Name]'s cold heart started melting a little.

[Name] stared at Otoya who had invited her to his match.

He had easily gained everyone's attention, including hers, due to his superior skills as a striker.

She watched as he went past the opposing team's defence and kicked the ball, earning another goal. 

Otoya cheered loudly as he scored the final goal, and immediately, his green eyes went towards the direction [Name] was sitting.

Noticing the white-haired male looking at her, she clapped and nodded at him making Otoya cheer even louder.

[Name] waited for Otoya so she could hand him the earphones he had kindly lent her since hers broke.

"[Name]-chan!"

She was immediately greeted with Otoya's wide smile and she nodded at him.

"Thank you." She said as she handed him his earphones back.

Otoya put them in his pocket as he replied: "No problem!"

"Say..." Otoya started, "What kind of guy do you like?"

[Name] tilted her head towards the white-haired male who was earnestly looking at her.

"My type? Someone who can cook and bake." She answered honestly after thinking.

"Ok got it!" Otoya exclaimed with a smile.

This caused [Name] to stare at him with a thoughtful look as Otoya's fingers twitched in nervousness.

"Do you like me?" [Name] asked.

Otoya's eyes widened, and his heart raced in panic.

"Hahaha no...?" His laugh all shaky before he ran away without another word.

[Name] was sitting in the empty class and she lifted her head when she heard the door slam open loudly.

There stood Otoya, all flustered, his head down.

He quickly walked to where she was sitting.

"That day!" Otoya bowed his head and thrust his arm forward, his hands holding a neatly wrapped box. "I lied to you!"

"I actually like you, very much!" Otoya confessed and waited for his crush's reply.

"Oh..." [Name] said as she looked at the white-haired male. Slowly she reached out to take the gift in her hands.

She opened the wrapping and saw chocolate in various shapes.

[Name] looked at Otota who didn't dare even look at her and was looking away, his cheeks tinted red due to embarrassment.

"I made them myself." He explained, refusing to meet her eyes because he knew he would fumble the words he wanted to say.

"...Because you said your type was someone who can cook and bake." Otoya licked his bottom lip as he finished his words.

[Name] laughed a little making Otoya stare at her in awe.

This was the first time he had seen her laugh and man was he mesmerized.

His green eyes blinked softly as he watched the girl of his dreams.

[Name] gently placed the chocolates on the table bedside her.

She lifted her hands to hold the other's hands and Otoya watched with wide eyes as she smiled at him.

The first smile he had gotten from her.

"Mhm, I like you too."

art credits: hwikki_11 [twitter]

red hearts - masterlist

wattpad

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 58

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Scar's pov*

You don't even have to wait that long for Altostratus and Ocean Queen to arrive, It's a bit impressive to be honest... You hope they didn't violate the speed limit to get here or something, you really don't want anyone to get in trouble for you if you can avoid it.

The black windowed car stops in front of the building, It's definitely property of the association...not fair, you weren't given a car... You don't know how to drive one but still, unfair.

The front door opens, It's Altostratus at the wheel with Ocean Queen sitting next to him, she waves at you. He lowers his sunglasses (Who even wears sunglasses during a storm???) and looks at you.

"Get in losers we're going shopping"

... Eh?

"But we are going to see Cuteguy"

"I know, jeeze, just wanted to say the quote"

"Oh!"

Yeah that makes sense! You would do the same for Star Wars quotes. You nod and make your way onto the backseat, Cub follows quietly behind you.

You expected the car ride to be silent but almost immediatly Ocean Queen turns towards you and Cub to ask about Cuteguy.

"Oh Sheriff is so mean, he won't tell me anything about the guy! Can you believe it?"

"I mean, I doubt he's allowed to" Responds Cub while sipping on sone kind of juice...where did he even get that!?

"Well, as his sister I feel like I'm owed at least the bare minimum! So! Hotguy, Cub, what is Cuteguy like?" She fully turns her head around, you can hear Altostratus protest at the sudden movement.

"Well, I've met the guy few times, seems like a nice guy and all even if sarcastic. Can't tell you much more then that though, Hotguy is the exper here."

Two sets of eyes turn to you, you didn't expect this to become an interview. "Cuteguy... he's great actually! He...well, I'm not going to say too much without him agreeing to it but he's really kind. And brave, he put himself in front of a bullet for me."

The conversation continues from them and when you tell them all you think you can tell them the conversation somehow turns to movies and from there to cartoons to you ranting about the decline in quality of Disney films.

Cub ends up shutting down 5 minutes in and Altostratus almost slams his head into the steering wheel at one point, Ocean Queen seems pretty interested though... It's at this point you remember the one question you had.

"So...uh, are the two working are working a case together? Oh! Is it a big super secret thing?"

Cub focused back. "If it was a 'super secret thing' I doubt the would be telling you".

Ocean Queen turns to Altostratus. "Should we tell him?"

In response he straightens up in his seat."What? Why?"

You are... Very confused... and suspicious. Especially suspicious. Are they hiding something from you? Why?

Ocean Queen just pouts in response. "He's our coworker, he should at least get know that much... Plus he did tell us about Cuteguy, It's the least we could do."

"... I ...I guess??? Just-" he sighs. "It's not something you can take back."

She turns her body so that's she's now somewhat looking at you again...

"So uh...me and J- Altostratus are actually married. So uh ... Surprise?"

Wait, is she serious? That's awesome! Really, you don't get why they didn't say so earlier.

"Congratulations-"

You are interrupted by the car coming to a stop.

Altostratus shuts off the car and steps out. "We're here lads, try not to let too much rain into my car when you get out, It's just been cleaned. If you do I will know and I won't be happy about it."

[theyluvpeach]

chasing you.

you avoid him. he catches you. dealer!reader x client!chris blurb <3

He's starting to think he's the problem. Those are words Chris never thought would form in his brain—But here he is, trying to figure out why hasn't seen you all week.

It doesn't make any sense. You're always around campus, yet when he's actively looking for you, you're nowhere to be seen. Chris doesn't even want to talk to you. He just wants to give you your shit back so Matt will stop bothering him about it.

Even though he's your friend—And he was the one to even invite you to the party in the first place—He has to return your heels cause apparently, Matt has better shit to do then chase you around all day.

He's been all around campus looking for you. If you're not at the campus cafe, he's gonna launch your heels at Matt's head.

Matt is so lucky you're here.

You're in the corner at a booth with tons of books and your computer in front of you. You're not your usual neon colored self. There's no star clips in your hair. You don't have on an overly tight top. No flared jeans. You're unrecognizable.

He can see the fear settle in your eyes as he walks up to you. So, you were avoiding him.

"Chris." The tension in your voice is quite frankly, insane. That night, after leaving you in his room, all he did was talk to Matt about what to do with you and then passed out on the couch after the party was over. What could he have done in that time?

"Kid, I know you were shitfaced last week, but I can't believe you forgot all about your stuff." You blink at him multiple times. "What?"

He shoves your heels and tights that are stuffed in them to you, "Y'know? All this?"

You slowly take them, your face lighting up. "Oh... Oh!"

"Huh?" He's confused. You were all gloomy just a second ago, and now you look like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Mh....I thought we fucked, if I'm being completely honest." He watches you tuck your heels away into your bag. "This reminded me we didn't, thanks."

Chris, for once in his life, is speechless. You were avoiding him because you thought you guys fucked. Honestly, he'll take this over you being all over Aiden. He wonders if you remember that... he's not gonna bring it up.

Huh. This is probably how the girls he sleeps with feel after they wake up alone in the morning.

"Nah, I don' fuck my brothers friends." You tilt your head at him, annoyingly, and raise your eyebrow. "Michelle."

"Doesn't count."

"Brittany."

"Also doesn't count."

"Vivi—"

"You friends with all the girls I fuck or somethin'?" You laugh, loudly. Bringing attention to yourself, but you don't care. You're definitely back to your usual self. "Some of them. They're wondering why I'm hanging around Mr. Community Dick."

Chris rolls his eyes. "Matt deserves that title."

"Eh, you guys are tied." You smile at him. And he gets that feeling in his chest again. The one that makes him feel like he's dying. When you start looking at him like he's crazy makes him remember that you guys are having a conversation and process that's he's staring at you.

He awkwardly coughs. "Whatcha' got all these books for anyway?" You groan, resting your forehead on the table. "Ecology."

He blinks.

"Plants." You sit up, resting your head in your hands, "Its the study of how living organisms interact with their physical environment—"

"We get it. You're smart. Trust."

"Well—" You flush at the compliment. Maybe not pissing you off gets him places. "That's just the definition!"

He eyes the stacks of books at your table. "You got a test, or are you just a nerd?"

You scoff. "I'm not a nerd. We have a test, and since my teacher writes questions like she hasn't talked to a human being in years, I'm doing some light reading."

"Light reading?" He teases. "Whatever." He checks his phone as you roll your eyes, well shit.

He spent way more time talking to you than he thought he would. He's gonna be late to the class he promised Nate he'd go to for the first time in forever.

"Gotta go," He says, beginning to walk backward towards the exit, "Don't drink so much next time, alright, kid? Not tryna chase you around again."

"I would've remembered eventually!"

tags 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚: @inspiredangel @whore4mattsturniolo @domizzzsstuff @sosasturns @drewswife

[eulaliasims]

Round 3, Shep 1 / 3

Believe it or not, I've actually played the whole autumn round in Veridia since I last posted. Unfortunately, some of that was two months ago, so caption quality may be questionable on some posts. Anyway, here we go, I'm not summarizing anything this time. You probably maybe remember who these guys are. Or not, I had to go check my tags a few times to make sure I was spelling names correctly.

Shep is having a pretty calm autumn. She checks on the bees (she's glad now her mothers insisted she bring that queen bee cell all this way to start a new hive, because the honey has been a nice little boon), chats up random passersby, and works a little bit on her weaving in the evening before it gets too dark for fine work.

When she's not weaving, she likes to spend time at the mead hall.

Xiang: Shep, you have bees, correct?

Shep: I do, in fact, have bees! I just finished a batch of honey, were you interested in buying?

Xiang: Actually, I was wondering if you would be willing to give Drustan a lesson or two about the bees. See, he's developed something of a phobia after an incident—

Shep: And you think learning about them will help?

Xiang: That's my theory. We can work out payment for you, of course, if you're interested in doing it.

Shep: Be paid to talk about bees? Sure! I could do that in my sleep.

(Reminder that Drustan actually got chased by bees three times in one round. On the other hand, I started playing Legend of Zelda: BotW for the first time and immediately got chased by bees, so maybe I am the problem.)

Elmet and Eisu are here too. Who's watching the kids, you ask? Eh, Mouse has got everything under control, I'm sure.

Helenet and Elmet's impending marriage has become the hot topic in town this week.

Helenet: What about you? Do you have your eye on anyone in particular, Shep? Oh, or if that's something you're not interested in, just ignore me, I'm a little tipsy I suppose.

Shep: I do, actually, but it's nothing serious yet.

Helenet: Well, just kissing is fun too! *giggle*

BIG NEWS! Selling off most of her honey meant Shep could finally afford that pottery wheel! She may only have 82 simoleons to her name now, but she can make plates!

That morning, Xiang brings Drustan by for his beekeeping lesson.

Shep: Rule number one about bees, bees mostly only get aggressive when they feel threatened, especially if their home is threatened. It's how they keep their hive safe from intruders trying to eat their honey and babies. Lots of beekeepers will use a smokey torch to make the bees sleepy when they collect honeycomb.

Drustan: Don't the bees get mad afterward that they don't have any honey?

Shep: You have to leave enough in the hive for them, otherwise you won't have bees anymore. It's what the baby bees eat. Anyway, my mother believes bees recognize their keepers and have people they prefer. I don't know, they do seem calmer after they've become acquainted with you.

Drustan: Hmm... does the silly hat make them bees like you more?

Shep: My hat isn't silly. I just burn easily. Do you want to look at the bees with me now?

Drustan: Maybe. From a safe distance.

[the-sin-hole]

headrush

stanxreader flashfic, 1k words gender neutral, smoking, no warnings apply

+++

“I don’t give a shit what Saturn looks like,” Stan says, trying to sound abrasive, but the smile forming around the unlit cigarette between his lips betrays him. “S’far as I’m concerned what happens up there is nunna my business ‘til some aliens come down here and try to abduct me.”

You’re standing in the yard of the Mystery Shack under a sea-dark sky slathered in bright white pinholes. Stan threw another party at the Shack and most of the cleaning fell to you two. A month ago you’d expect him to order the kids do it. But you’ve watched him soften over the weeks since they came, and tonight he only made them clean up half of all the spilled drinks and tracked-in dust and scattered confetti before allowing them to call it a night. He toothlessly harangued you to stay late and help under the guise of owing him one after letting you drink all the Pitt from his fridge yesterday, but you didn’t need convincing. It was enough just to spend one on one time with him.

After doing a perfectly respectable half-assed cleaning job, the two of you retired to sit on the porch for some well earned smokes. Stan quit for the sake of the kids, but sometimes he can’t help himself from bumming a stray or two from you. You handed him one before he even asked as you stepped outside into the warm summer night air. You were immediately struck by the sky, letting in a small gasp of air at the sight of so many clear stars. You pulled Stan by the crook of his arm into the grass with you and started pointing out the celestial entities you were familiar with. Stan wasn’t looking at any of it. His eyes were fixed on you.

Your voice faltered as you pointed out Saturn, when your eyes darted back to him and found his gaze. It was unreadable. Part of you thought, if you tried really hard, you could see something in that gaze that looked a little soft. The thought made something in your gut writhe.

You broke the eye contact, instead putting the cigarette in your mouth and holding up your lighter to its end. It took a few spins of the flint wheel but it lit, and you pulled in the meager flame, sucking the filter several times in quick succession to let the heat gain purchase before letting the lighter falter. You handed it to Stan, risking regained eye contact and catching his small smile just as he claimed his indifference to the stars.

You snort and roll your eyes at the bold proclamation. “Oh wowwww, mister cool guy here is too big and tough to care about the vast wonder of space, huh?”

“You better believe it,” he replies, tilting his head down to meet the lighter in his hand and shifting the cigarette between his teeth at the front of his mouth. He spins the wheel a couple times to no avail, a little harder each time, furrowing his brow as he repeats his attempts. “What’s space ever done for me, anyway?”

You smile as you pull on your cigarette. He makes a frustrated “Eh” as more clicks of the lighter prove fruitless. His eyes dart up and he looks at you through his thick grey brows— his gaze is once again unreadable, but it sends something through you. He’s been doing that to you a lot, lately. Just being close to him can make your heart beat fast, something that at first was highly frustrating, but now you can’t help yourself from chasing the small highs, each casual graze against his arm or lingering eye contact feeling just as good as a deep inhale of fiberglass and nicotine.

You’re about to interrupt your current inhale to ask why he’s looking at you when his eyes dart down to your lips.

He reaches a hand up and lightly grabs your jaw, four fingers on one side, thumb on the other. You feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach. Heat radiates from that gut punch through your entire body in an instant. The two fingers you had gently resting on either side of the filter in your mouth twitch, almost flinging the cigarette out of your mouth entirely. His eyes are cast down, not looking you in the face, which you’re grateful for, as you’re sure you look ridiculous. You can feel your eyes widening, the heat flooding your face.

Stan leans in. The smoke you just inhaled is now caught swirling in your lungs as you hold your breath. He positions the tip of his cigarette to yours, the fingers grasping your jaw tightening just a little bit to make sure you don’t throw off the alignment. He purses his lips and draws in the heat, igniting it. He could pull away now, if he wanted. But he draws just a few more times. After seconds that stretch into an eon he slowly leans back. He leaves the fingers on your jaw for just a moment longer than he needs to. Just long enough to send another punch to your gut.

His hand finally leaves you, moving to the filter in his mouth, ready to take it once he’s finished his first long drag. He straightens up and finally meets your eyes once again. You’re still holding your breath. He removes the cigarette from his lips and exhales through his nose, the smoke coming out in great furls. You can see a slight smile behind the smokescreen as he says,

“Space is for suckers. I got everything I need right down here.”

You finally pull the filter from your mouth. His eyes dart down quickly to watch you let out a deep exhale, smoke spilling from your lips as they twist into a smile. The windless night lets the smoke hang in the air between you, small plumes lazily intertwining. When his eyes find yours again, there’s no mistaking it. His gaze is soft.

[teamfortresstwo]

Why tf Odysseus singing “All I gotta do is open this bag!” Like that.

[clockworkreapers]

extra tftgs stuff i have on hand that i either like or am working on for later...

[rystiel]

sorta not-too-shitty stepdad stan takes tate fishing

(he’s that weird guy who’s always with his dad when tate visits on the weekends after his parents’ divorce)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

if i had a nickel every time magneto, charles, and amelia were all featured on a cover that framed them as having a wack love triangle then im sure im missing more than just these two but im still baffled i naturally found two so easily anyway

[refluxtheidiot]

silver painting i made in painting class for funsies

[chasedeys]

I need your thoughts bc i’m trying to write a story & obviously we ‘know’ how joemarr’s relationship is but do you think joe and ja’marr (separately or together lol) are closer to tee or justin?? AND how do you think their relationship is with both guys. because for me sometimes it’s like joe is tee’s big brother but idk… help. please.

hello!!! (so very sorry this took. so very long. but it's here! and i rambled way too much but at the same time nothing of substance on this sort of 😭)

in a completely non pushy very excited way what fic are you writing hehe any mention of a joemarr fic in progress and i perk up like a lemur. no pressure though keep it all to yourself I'm just nosy lol

and i feel like you are completely free to decide who's closer to who based on your own fic's direction?? like me personally it depends 😭 cannot be definitive for the life of me. i myself have totally sometimes Cartoonify friendships just for the Sake of the Bit you know? but like not too much or it just gets disrespectful and annoying and i try to stay true to their character or whatever really i don't actually know these people lol

the Vibes that i sense and also some i've made up completely in my head are kind of like this:

over the years, i feel like joemarr have grown wayyyy closer to tee and have grown apart from justin. and that's to be given really considering they're now teammates with tee and justin is in a whole other team making whole other moves than them! and that's okay! they aren't made to be forever linked together, they're their own people, making their own marks in the league! but they're always going to have that 2018-19-20 lsu insanity with them and i am always going to mention that in my fics! and nobody's going to forget that college run i fear 2019 lsu is kind of legendary lmao these three are always going to be asked about each other and their pasts linked to each other no matter what and that's honestly really beautiful if you think abt it.

ja'marr and tee -> god these two. i think ja'marr is just. so obsessed with tee. just. incredibly fond of tee. unwilling to let him go. incapable of being chill about him (like he is about anybody who has somehow hit certain standards that only he knows). and i went on a spiel here where i suggest you read bc it's weirdly more well written than what i wrote here 😭. basically, i think he looks up so much to tee because tee is someone who he gets to let his guard down and be just a team player with. does that make sense. it really honestly boils back down to comparing it to justin and that sounds bad but i don't know how to explain it better?? that sounds kind of wrong tbh arhgrhgrh. it's like with tee he doesn't have to keep clawing for his spot or compete as much or whatever. like tee is clearly such an amazing wr, clearly a wr1 caliber player like ja'marr, yet he doesn't fight with ja'marr over his looks or plays or spot like justin does with him, which has to be like a breath of fresh air for ja'marr and he's said it himself all 'tee is the most unselfish player'. like that means something to him. ja'marr cares so much for tee's opinions, tee constantly singing ja'marr praises and ja'marr being so sooo silent whenever tee goes on a rant abt him like he doesn't know what to say he just hugs tee with one arm and says appreciate you so quietly (HE DOES THIS A LOT WHEN HE GETS COMPLIMENTED BTW. DO YOU NOTICE THIS. and there's so many fucking clips of them just wrapped around each other after a tuddy just!!! so cute.), and ja'marr known outrageous mother hen ja'marr chase making (speculationnnn) tee change agents and taking him to his massage therapist (in his fucking houseeee i went on a rant here god this is still so crazy to me) and nagging at tee in his mic'ed up moments so many times that feel good play good thing like. he tries to big brother tee so much when tee's the one big brothering him you know 😭 it's so funny god their dynamic is so fucking funny to me. (ja'marr tries so hard to be mature and captain-like whatever and he is good at it you know but 😭 with tee and joe and like all the bengals vets like mike h and sam and even with yoshi whos the same age as him yk it's so very clear he's the baby lmao.) he's trying so hard to take care of tee, keep him safe and well and healthy and with him, doesn't want him to leave. OH AND they went to this showroom thing where they shopped for stuff and ja'marr went with tee (!!!!!!!) and asked tee's opinion for a belt or something and tee was all dude just choose whatever you want it's soooo cute god they're so cute to me (there was also that fucking loverboy beanie im obsessed with that ja'marr didn't even glance at im so pissed. im so fucking pissed what do i have to do to get him to wear a cat beanie this shit is serious to me) like ja'marr wants to know what tee thinks!! he values his opinions!!!! even for fucking clothes!!!! god. and he knows he plays better with tee with him on that field okay, he says that with tee he doesn't get double teamed as much, and he while he's proven that he plays just as well without tee, that piece of comfort having another wr1 with him (his best friend!!!) has got to be something he wants to keep for eternity (ahahaha, verbatim ofc).

joe and tee -> joe dotes over tee lmao you can't deny that man is besotted (ja'marr is too actually 😭 they both are it's completely understandable but at the same time you just have to close your eyes and wince bc that's embarrassing. please chill the fuck out you do not need to laugh that loud over a single sentence from tee. but again: completely understandable because tee is tee. like that batman hard knocks ep. tee said one fucking sentence and joemarr just. rolled over showed their belly panting it's embarrassingggg) he's soooooooo starry eyed over him, so shamelessly coddling (?) that game hug nuzzle the first time, the broncos game where it looked like he bit his neck, this pre season's training camp (?) laughing sooo freely with tee, every sentence out of him these past few weeks on tee staying in cincy 'tee is a NEED', etc etc like i know you said he's acting like tee's big brother which i agree with completely 100% but it's also like he can be such a little brother with tee!! it's like he can let go and not be a responsible person with tee idk does that make sense. joe totally acting like tees older brother but the thing is tee is doing it right back he's just chiller about it like he doesn't have to think too hard on it unlike joe who thinks he has to be this guy 24/7. it's like joe is unused to having such a down-to-earth sane (still hilariously unhinged but sane you know) guy who makes good choices when he's been stuck with guys like ja'marr and justin who are kind of. well. so he can let up and have tee take care of him for a change! well this isn't like this 100% of the time obviously but you get where i'm going with this right (god I'm so sorry this is a mess) also tee's like. really fucking funny and sweet and joyous to be around is there really any surprise that joemarr are smitten with him lmao. i think joe tweeted something abt playing with tee for a long time when they got drafted together?? kill me. no really kill me.

who do you think brought up that tee should just change agents to ja'marr's lmaooo do you think tee brought up his agent being so fucking argumentative that ja'marr tells him to tell him to fuck off and just switch to his. and then they all go dead silent about this including ja'marr because it was one of those things that he said without thinking. like literal light bulbs going off above their heads at the same time before they start scheming shit calling lawyers and ja'marr's agents at like 2 a.m trying to figure shit out 'playing chess'. or did ja'marr and tee discover this first like 'oh??? we can?? do it probably??' and call joe frantically like can we do it and joe hangs up on them without saying anything and the got so fucking offended only for joe to turn up in their place (either one idk) one minute later probably breaking the speed of light and boom. ja'marr has his claws on tee and he's not letting go ever.

joe and justin -> while yes i said that joemarr grew apart from justin i feel like joe is like the type of person to just. be shameless in reconnecting with people he's grown apart from. while ja'marr is. very petty. lmao. i think joe is just very shameless when he reaches out to people. he, like ja'marr, is insanely loyal and values friendship to a concerning degree. he keeps contact with practically any person he grows attached to and texts them regularly and by that i mean that even if he gets ghosted or there's a ridiculously long period of dead silence between them he still texts first like 'hey bro long time no talk u in town do you wanna watch the new spongebob movie tomorrow' and bulldozes through the awkwardness like he doesn't even see it. which works with justin!! who i think kind of sucks at keeping in touch with people (like ja'marr, see below sooo sorry this is so shittily structured) and he hangs out with a lot of people during the offseason no? (its sooooo fascinating to me how he's sooo introverted and technically a hermit but he's also suchhhhh an outgoing little busybody you know and constantly reaches out to people first? like to gronk????? who does that.) including justin who has the same agent! having the same agent works wonders in keeping the connection no doubt too lmao. the paris fashion week thing etc. i think i've said it before but joe falls in love with every teammate he's ever gotten close to and that very much includes justin jefferson who helped him achieve his Insane Ambition of getting the natty so he's not letting him go even the slightest bit really. also qb-wr connection is practically something otherworldly really so really something to keep in mind when writing quarterbacks with former teammates they've thrown to lol. especially joe, who's kind of crazy 😭. i mean look at all his wristbands and sweatshirts and moving to lsu and hanging on to the playoffs by the skin of his teeth and all that jazz. he does Not let go easily. truly an interesting man to write.

ja'marr and justin -> those type of near aged siblings who fight over the weirdest shit and get stupidly competitive over everything and disgustingly annoyingly overly smug over a win that they get into stupid fights one minute only to slam open the other's bedroom door the next hour saying excitedly 'bitch i got free coupons for ice cream' and the other immediately goes 'DAMN RIGHT let me drive' completely forgetting that they were fighting and then the cycle repeats all over again. you can see just how disgustingly close they were together during lsu and that's not really something that just goes away even through time you know? but i do believe they've both grown individually as people and maybe they wouldn't get along as well now as they do then because again, they've been pitted against each other over and over and over and fucking over oh my god but the love they have for each other is clear as they really when you take in account all they've been through together. and i've said up above how their entire thing has been drenched with Competition and that's different with ja'marr's thing with tee and that's not to say that he doesn't enjoy the competition with justin he clearly loves it lmao he wouldn't be such a good player in the league if he hates it lol. more said down below because again, very shittily structured :)

justin and tee -> they should date idk (i think i had a fic idea for them somewhere in my writing tag ehehe)

on the lsu trio specifically lol didn't know how to insert it up above so:

i think justin and ja’marr are both the type to be shit at replying to texts 😔 like sure they'd text you and stuff but. they ignore so many texts whether intentionally or not. they've both said they don't talk with each other etc etc haHAhaaHHAa pain. if i may Speculate: they both probably tried texting on the regular but suck sooooooo bad at it it just peters off (is that the right fucking word oh my god why is the english language so fucking difficult that is literally a NAME) pathetically like ja'marr texted tuesday 8 p.m and justin replies on saturday 11.59 pm to which ja'marr replies to that at wednesday 1.25 a.m do you get me. and they can't standddd this type of shit 😭 kind of low attention span kind of deal and also losing interest on the text convo and having so much shit going on irl that they just don't really text anymore??

joe is like the opposite of this he replies to texts late max 2 days tops but he’s just shit at text talk. absolutely 0 flair to his words. desperately needs to learn tone indicators but people he texts have grown completely used to this and either accepts they will never understand him or, like ja’marr and justin and tee, somehow understands him 98% and bulldozes through his awkward texting and also shits on him liberally. but even if people reply to him late he'd just continue with the convo completely dead serious abt it uncaring how long you text and never the one to end convos and that's weirdly how he keeps such close contact with people he hasn't seen in years??

that's not to say that justin and ja'marr don't vibe with each other anymore lol it's kind of difficult to let go of what two years of practically living in each other's pockets being the Best at what they do. it's just they've also grown so much apart and bloom into way different people than who they knew each other to be. the random ass rarri truck comment is still so confusing to me though like. are you two okay. what was that. did your agents tell you to do something. could you two please interact irl again so i can obsessively analyze whatever the fuck you got going on actually. maybe make out on camera too idk.

also they have such the shittiest friendship humor that only people in their circle would get you know 😭 constantly shitting on each other (ja'marr does it in front of cameras while justin knows pr talk and actually exercises it well. hence the amount of people shitting on ja'marr for saying shit they themselves have said and joke about their friends. pisses me off.) and outrageously competitive people who are undeniably the best at what they do getting compared to each other constantly and their history of ja'marr technically having beaten justin during college and coming into the league with justin breaking several type of records while ja'marr breaks a whole different set of records etc etc just 😭 do you get me. i am so Sensitive about these two pls nobody touch me about them im sorry..........

joe and justin having the same agents and then tee and ja'marr having the same agents is kind of crazy tbh. tee and justin should date just for this quartet to go straight into Messy.

disclaimer this is all pure Speculation and just me making shit up tbh using my Noticer Glasses that gets cloudy from my own delusions so take this with a grain of salt!

ALSO during college i think it's like. justin was really close to joe bc they're the same year (?) right seniors or whatever closer in age and they're clearly best friends. but justin and ja'marr were like twin flames, same position, and they're kind of insane abt each other during college lmao that one clip post natty win of justin leaning back to ja'marr is like burned into my head. and ja'marr was sooo unsure abt joe at first and joe was kind of way too intense without saying a single thing to ja'marr but just staring at him while justin was like the bridge between these two!! that's like a whole other thing about joemarr and justin that's sooo fun to write about truly i love Speculating lsu days crushes and justin being a little shit about them. (lsu ask i swear i'll finish answering you one day auguauguhsuhg)

[utilitycaster]

I would literally rather walk into the ocean and never be seen again than scrounge around for approval for my fandom opinions from random strangers and bite people who didn't give it like some kind of starving rat and I must admit it shocks me that this is not the normal train of thought for everyone.