#but for people who see this dont need to read my rambling go watch the vid <33

[caruliaa]

just bc im a lesbian doesnt mean tht i wont at times become deeply entranced with the beauty of male actor or character. it just means i wld rather be locked in a room with a man with a knife than do anything romantic or sexual with one

[deus-ex-mona]

such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨

[rumblecrow]

Watched this video and im not going to lie. I got a little emotional. So. Uh

Crow is Talking Out of My Ass for a Mo

I have never seen someone so grateful for the community they built and it is fucking awesome to be part of that community. Like MAN i am so grateful for RT and RT is so grateful for us too.

This maybe not a surprise for a long time fan but it is for me. Daniel wont see me and my art ( as i am a tumblr user at heart ), but man one day i will get courage to just show how much i appreciate him ;-;

It just... Idk it just really nice to see him just talk about his life and his projects ( which is DEFINITELY NOT GHOST HUNTING AJDKFKFK ) and then realizing that hey i want to do more out of the box stuff. I want to be like Dan one day, to not be afraid on the shit i want to do and just do it and said fuck the algorithm.

I know Daniel Rtgame said he does feels old sometimes but for me as a 20 yo who is currently lost in life after deciding to leave college and unemployed because of my own mental illness, people like Dan does give me hope that i can still do it, that despite everything i can do something, be it genuine work or just making people happy, and one day i will be ready to achieve it.

So genuinely from the bottom of my heart, despite you will never see me Daniel, thank you very much for all the things that you do, your content that varies from time to time and the small little talk we get to do as chats and streamer, thank you truly for being such a neat guy that keeps me going in live, your videos and streams motivates me so much to create arts more, so truly thank you Dan.

Oh yeah, at the end of the video "how are you?"

I am doing good now, i have been taking meds regularly again and this month im opening a small comissions and ko-fi so i can start supporting myself! Good to see you still kicking it after years, Daniel. Never stops being yourself!! But i know you know that as you are probably more wiser than me, hell you encourage me to be more confident so yeah <33

Okay my 4 am talks over, thank you for anyone reading this lmao.

[icarusredwings]

i *live* for your agere wade omg 😢🙏🏻 i also age regress there's just something about your favorite character being like you that makes me smile :) your writing is absolutely wonderful as well!! :3

Hi hon, Im so proud of you for doing what's good for you, and I am so happy that you've found something to enjoy that makes you feel good about yourself.

Thank you so much for the support. I've seen more people mention how excited they were to find cute, mild, and nonnsexual regressions for Wade, so I've decided to put it on A03 for more people to enjoy.

I actually was nervous about posting them in general because of the stigma around it but seeing how supportive you all have been (I dont know why im even shocked) it's made me a little more confident in my writing. I was abused quite a bit as a child, and while I don't regress, I do have a special attachment to my stuffed animals and find comfort in kids' shows. Annnddd, as someone who was working towards becoming a geneticist? It's comforting to know that some very intelligent and successful people also do.

While you're waiting for me to write more or upload to A03, have some HCs:

Depending on what's going on, he fluctuates between 5-8.

Wade has 3 caregivers, Al, Vanessa, and Logan. He loves them all so much but certian care givers are for certain things. Al (Mama) is he goes too for booboos, Ness (Mommy) is who takes him out the most, to the park and doctors (If things get too out of hand, she can pull the "He's my disabled son you bastard" card, and Logan (Kitty) is general. The one youll find when wade is casually colouring or playing tea party with.

He'll take "sippies" but hes a bit too old for them because he chews the tops off.

Cereal, mac and cheese, pizza, bassically anything he already eats as an adult, including spicy tacos.

He doesn't have a lot of toys (and if he does, they're from a give away or a dumpster) so is very possesive of them and will instantly get upset if you try to take them away or "hurt" them.

Wade is the type to just chill with you on the couch and eat snacks if you don't have the energy to play or take him to the park. Even as a child, he was very emotionally intelligent, and it shows.

Most kids would have tantrums, but he seems to either be understanding or go cry in silence while isolated (its what hes used too)

As much as people say he's a potty mouth, I don't see it. Not yet anyway. Sure he'll say "bad words" sometimes but as someone whos used to being screamed at to shut up all the time, I believe he talks so much as an adult BECAUSE he wasn't allowed as a kid so he's more of an observer unless you are unfortunately his favorite and then hes going to tell you random facts.

Oftentimes, the "perfect child" are ones that are independent, quiet, and who monitor their emotions/ actions around other kids and adults. This means being forced to act older than you actually are, walking on eggshells around adults and trying to do things by himself.

He likes to wear clothes that are too big for him rather then tight. (Bonus points if they're a hoodie or a sweater)

He likes baths and sometimes will tell you that his "Skin hurts" when really it's just itchy/peeling/ needs lotion.

He's not big on babytalk but "puppy" "mama" "mommy" "park?" "Kitty scratch bad guys" "I watch tv?" "Go home?" "Play horses?" Are common. Its either small unfinished sentneces or endless rambling with full sentences that repeat themself. Logan has once heard "Did you know-?" 30 times once all in 10 minutes

He has a stuffy of a Wolverine named Fluffy from Kitty, a unicorn named Buttercream from Mommy, and a bear shaped dog toy from Mama. In her defense she didn't know it was a dog toy (because shes blind and cant read duh) but Wade loves it more that it squeaks.

Because kidWade (He is "NOT little", he's a "Big boy") is bigger than them, he has issues playing a little... rough... with other kids. He has infact shoved a kid into the sand while playing tag.

Wade is very erm... possesive.. over his caregivers and will act out if he believes Kitty is ignoring him. Because of their history, hes even more prone to acting out with Ness and has gone as far as telling someone they looked like a burnt quesodilla that "had a baby with a wrinkled cucumber" before (and will do it again)

Flappy hands. Giggles. Screeches. That is all that needs to be said.

Wade likes music, arts, and crafts. Physical exercise is nice too but naps are needed afterwards.

Naps must be willing. If you tell him to go take a nap he'll just stomp his feet and cry that hes "being good" so "doesn't need one" bassically, naps are punishment.

Tw for sensitive topics such as mental and physical health

The worst part about having Wade isn't that he is a "brat" or "bad", no infact wade barley ever is a brat. He's very people pleasing because he just wants as much affection as possible. it's the fact that you can't trick him or keep him from doing something. He's too smart.

"Come on baby, we're going to the park"

"Yay!!- wait.... Mommy... Mommy the park is that way...Mommy this is how you go to the mean doctors! They're gonna rip my teeth out!"

It's even HARDER to care for a kid who can escape literally anything and can run all the way home if you upset him too badly. The only thing really you can do is call a different cg and double up on the reassurance. (And maybe a bribe)

Another thing is that just because he's in this headspace doesn't mean his issues are gone. Between the nightmares, the flashbacks, the scary hallucinations that he can't understand, intrusive thoughts about harming a person, impusive thoughts, and just straight up having to deal with cancer on top of it all, etc.

Do you know how hard it is to explain to a child that they're nauseous and exhausted because the cells inside of him are eating the other cells, dying, and healing all at the same time?

[jacedified]

things i cant stop thinking about !!

most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah

also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem

warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up

- yandere caller being a shade

(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)

- sams eyes being brown

(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)

- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium

(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)

- the look on kodys face at the end of it all

(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)

- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)

(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)

- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name

- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???

(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)

- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..

(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”

… excuse the outburst)

- vampire milo.. thats all

(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)

- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..

(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)

- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??

- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward

(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)

- what is avior hearing in his last video

(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)

- gavin having a myspace account

(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)

- what happens when freelancer gets old..

(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)

- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?

(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )

- imp!damien..

(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)

- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?

(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)

- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners

(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)

- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??

(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)

- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?

(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)

- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts

(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)

uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep

stay safe out there

[anarchyatthesupermarket]

HI i am having Thoughts about your necromancy au and i need to talk about it. i was trying to convince my sister to read it so that i could have someone to talk to about it. but then i realised. yknow who definitly also has Thoughts about YOUR necromancy au? you. feel free to delete this ask i just wanted to ramble(about the later chapters specifically)

Call this my toxic trait buttt I dont think Rae did anything wrong in raising his mom from the dead. LIKE why the fuck shouldnt he?? His mom(and grandpas) didnt deserve to die, why the fuck should he let them, when he HAS the power to bring them back?? like??? Also not Momboo being a massive bitch telling Isla her son deserved to die. LIKE GIRL. i know you have issues but that is NOT how you talk to a grieving mother. ABSOLUTELY DESPICABALE behaviour. ALSO im pissed off at Fenris, Caspian and Aax. Like not them confirming Rae's worst fears when he actually tells them about Momboo and sends HIM away. and blah blah blah its their magic reacting badly but they dont even TRY to sympathise with him. Als.o like Fenris you are literally dating another necromancer. You cannot give Rae shit for being a necromancer without then applying that to your BOYFRIEND???

ALSO funny how when Rae raised HIMSELF from the dead, taht didn't trigger their magic or whtv, but when he was revived by Momboo it DID. 🤔🤔🤔🤔 (I dont think this will go anywhere but. thats beside the point.) Actually wait no maybe im onto somethign here. Maybe its because momboo fucked him up while reviving him!! maybe she did this on purpose!!! wait no i think im wrong. whateverrrr im being silly 😋

i cant wait to see how other characters react to Rae's new situation. I think(hope) that Athena and Jamie will still eb on his side.... actually maybe not. But i will hope.

At least Rae has Isla, even though everyone thikns hes a monster(THE EPIC PARALLELS ARE REAL) at least his plan didnt fail and his mom;s alive. slight consolation.

If i was Isla i would be HOSTILE to the afformentioned people (Fen,cas,aax momboo) if the situation gets resovled and doesnt end with Rae's eternal death. Hell id be hostile the entire fucking time. I want to see ISla kick someones shit for Rae because how DARE they call her son a monster for saving HER. do you think that would cause her guilt though? since she kinda maybe sorta ruined her sons life? that he ruined his own life to bring her back?

OKAAY ANYWAY thats most of my thoughts. can you tell that Rae is my favourite character no matter the universe? Can you also tell how unwell i am about this au? i think about it..frequently.... again feel free to delete this i just needed to share my thoughts ad feelings with SOMEONE

I also have so many thoughts about my necromancy au, it's just rotating in the back of my brain 24/7. I'm really hoping this all makes sense.

I agree with you, there's very little reason that Rae shouldn't bring his family back and Momboo's reaction (while coming from a place of trauma and fear) was unreasonable. However, I raise this to you, Rae is dead, he can not age or die. At this moment with how it stands he is going to watch Isla grow old and die, if he brings Raemond and Everett back the same thing will happen. He brought Isla back and he's going to loose her again and why would he be any better at processing his grief. Necromancy can not stop old age.

As for what happened with Momboo bringing Rae back and then Aax/Fenris's magic reacting badly to that, I have so many thoughts about it bc it's also how I imagine magic working in this au. I'm going to try to make this make sense.

I imagine that everyone's magic inside them is like a well, you can take water out of it (to perform magic) and more water will flow in to replace that lost water. You can deepen the well to increase how much water can be taken out of it without it running dry (strengthening your magic) however, if you try to deepen the well too quickly then parts of it might cave in (think exercising without warming up leads to hurting yourself, you try to perform too much magic that you're not ready for and you get weaker because you pushed yourself too far). The thing is is that you don't want your well to collapse or run dry. Rae bringing back Isla caused both to happen. When Momboo brought him back she just refilled his well with water so he could rebuild his well (bring himself back to life because Rae relies completely on his magic to live, other people can survive their well of magic being emptied but he can't). Because of that there was life magic in a well meant for necromancy, it was like dumping a bucket of muddy water into a mountain spring, and it will take days for Rae's magic to replenish and wash out the life magic. Fenris and Aax sensed the life magic in him (magic that wasn't supposed to be there, magic that was wrong for who Rae is) and it set alarms bell off in their heads because that's Rae's body but that's not Rae's magic that's reanimated his corpse. That's what Len's magic and reanimating the hordes felt like, that was a necromancer's magic filling bodies not meant for that form of magic.

The same thing didn't happen when Isla or Centross were brought back because they are both necromancers and so is Rae. That is necromancy magic filling wells meant for necromancy. I don't think Momboo felt as much "wrongness" with bringing Caspian back either because of a combination of Caspian not having magic and Momboo being a life witch.

Rae being called not human is a correct statement because he's dead, he's a corpse that's walking around. He's an abomination/unnatural because he's "living" off of magic that is nothing like his own.

Rae is an abomination, he is a monster. He is both Len (the traitor, the monster, the original sin) and the hordes (the horror, the grief, the terror) that marched on cities. He is a reanimated corpse with the singular goal of bringing his family back no matter the cost.

This is not because of what type of necromancer he is (because there are types, I just haven't been able to talk about them yet), he brought Centross and Isla back with both of their desires being completely separate from his own. He has no control over them. His situation is a bit more like Len and the horde which Len has/had complete and utter control over. Rae didn't have enough magic to bring himself back to life completely (hence the no heartbeat/breathing/just being alive) but he did have enough magic to bring himself back as one of the "mindless undead" which have singular goals according to the necromancer who raised them, his goal being bringing his family back. He's not being rushed into doing that/given the illusion of free will because his "soul" inhabits his body since it was reanimated. Think of it like Rae's soul/ghost is possessing his body, if that helps, but ghosts usually are formed with some goal in mind like revenge, in Rae's case that goal is simply bringing his family back.

Anyways, I could keep talking about this but I feel like I'm making less and less sense as I go on. I'm always happy to answer asks about this series bc I am unwell about it. I hope this made sense and I'm glad you're enjoying the series!!

[spruzu]

Doing a silly post of all my (main) fav characters bcz why not.

They will mainly be in order of who i like the most but some are even and if i was asked to pick one between them i physically wouldnt be able to.

-KNUCKLES THE MF ECHIDNA!!!!!!!!!!

HES SO COOOOL I CANT. Theres a knuckles shaped part in my heart. (kinda wanna be him in a way it's kinda embarrassing) I LOVE all of his versions in sonic prime, renegade knucks has a special place in my heart though he's top tier. Sonic boom knuckles is so funny and stupid like him going ''Oh wait i cant read.'' is so funny to me as a dyslexic person myself. Movie knuckles needs to be protected at all costs istg he's so sweet. GIVE KNUCKLES ALL THE GRAPES HE WANTS! 🍇🍇🍇🍇

-Sonic the hedgehog

Sonic's on the same level as knuckles he genuinely so cool and i do base some of my personality off him... i love his character development in sonic prime but his attitude in sonic x is so funny its amazing. He's defo got a bit of attitude to him in the older stuff which makes me love him more. His jokes and ''Wtf is danger.'' attitude is so real. Also movie sonic voiced by Ben Schwartz HELL YEAH, i love Ben hes so funny i cant wait for sonic 3.

-Shadow the hedgehog

''Another sonic character? is all your favourite characters sonic characters?'' no, just wait i get to other characters <3 but MY MY MY MY MYYY OH MY I LOVE SHADOW. I remember my first sonic game, if you can even call it that, being Mario and Sonic 2012 Olympic games and always playing as either shadow, sonic, silver or amy. I loved paying as him. Also his game is SO FUN and his backstory is so fun to learn and 100% take some of his personality and put it onto mine like i do with sonic. He's just such a good character and im glad this is the year of shadow bcz we NEED more shadow content. i would ramble about him more but i cant think of anything else to say.

-Leonardo (ROTMNT)

Another character voiced by Ben schwartz! I just recently watched this movie and i LOVED it. I used to like TMNT when i was little but never fully got into it but my favourites were always Leo and Mikey. Im literally him /hj. He's such a cool character (i say that with all of them i just love them all so much). Also if any TMNT fans have any movie/TV show recommendations for TMNT i am willing to take them!

-Miles Morales

I remember watching Into the Spider Verse and i loved it so much, i felt bad for miles in a way because he had to go through seeing spider man die in front of his eyes then realising hes the new spider man and blah blah blah. Im watching Penny's (from snapcube) VODs from when she played Spiderman 2 and miles' suits are so cool i love how they added the spider-verse movie suits into the game theyre defo some of my favs. Across the spider verse was such a good movie but into the spider verse was defo better (hot take? idk). Im so excited to see what happens in the next movie.

-Silver the hedgehog

Another sonic character yes, but i love sonic so much its my main special interest/hyperfixation. Silver is so silly i need to see more content of him tho. It's also kinda funny how his first appearance was sonic 06 ,which as we all know, is an awful game. In need to see more of him we need another game with him in as a playable character. Smt like SA2 idk.

-Batman

All forms of batman, lego batman is top tier and the rest under him. I watched the lego batman movie in the cinema when it came out and little me loved it and i recently, abt 3 years ago, got fully into batman stuff. The movies are so good and batman is such a cool character to, i need to meet more people who like him.

Thats it for now, i would add garfield but i dont really have anything to say abt him other than hes the most realest character ever. Hate mondays, love lasagne.

Anyways, i love these characters so much most of them being my comfort characters **cough cough** the sonic ones **cough cough**.

[bleep-bloop-boo]

OMG PLEASE TELL LIBRARY STORIES

i would love to work at a library one day

iugfbnwqkwsdjf AWW THANK YOU FOR THE ASKK IM GOING TO RAMBLE NOW <33 AND SAMEE i hope you do get to work at the library :)) i need to wait 9 more months before I can applyy

First off all, background In my 7th grade i did Semester 1 online school and Semester 2 in person. I didnt get a choice in elective cuz i switched over so i became an office aide tho i would be sent to the library most of the time to help the librarian. another thing, the librarian started the same time as me. the old librarian quit and the new librarian was just out of college (and also lowkey traumatized but we dont acknowledge that heree) so she was like in her early 20s I LOVE HER SM OMG!! BEFORE BEING A LIBRARIAN SHE PLAYED COMPETITIVE VIDEO GAMES AND SHE HAS AN ANIMATION CHANNEL AND NOW SHES ILLUSTRATING CHILDRENS BOOK AND SHE WAS IN FANDOMS TOO!! SHES AMAZING AT ART, LIKE WHEN YOU ASKED HER TO SIGN YOUR YEARBOOK SHE'D DRAW YOU (i can find the picture of me she drew if youd likee) IN 2 MINUTES!! AND SHE TOLD ME ONCE SHED DRAW A FANART OF NICO GETTING MCDONALDS WITH WILL FOR ME CUZ I TOLD HER I LIKED PERCY JACKSON AND SOLANGELO (i never told her bout the mcdonalds thing, she knew) and it was so much fun cuz id be sorting books and reading books and scanning books and helping kids and fixing books and organizing and just talking with peoplee i loved it smm and speaking of her, she did so much cool stuff!! she had no idea how the library worked or how to do stuff and she did end up crying the first month because of how lost she was but she got a hang of it and i so proud of her for that <33

She made a cozy corner where there are tons of blankets and pillows for people and with cozy curtains and lights

she bought (using her own money) nearly 40 boardgames and made a shelf for people to play with fidgets, cards and games

she brought her switch in so kids could see and watch her play

she made a suggestion box and read every single one

she started a thing where she made slides for the elementary schoolers and read to them every week

she let students come in during lunch and play games and talk and chill (which is amzing cuz our school was HELLA strict, like middle schoolers could only sit at the tables or on the grass. you cant walk anywhere else.)

and we all loved her sm, she was the best <33 i miss her cuz now im in high school and the kid i tutored told on me thursday she moved and she doesnt work there anymore and now i miss her even moree but ill see if i can find her insta time for the actual stories of me and the one other office aide 😭😭😭 - we built a throne out of old textbooks and made a whole photosoot using paper decorations - we spent an entire hour just reading and laughing at this book about toilets - we spent 15 minutes learning how to use a key cuz we locked ourselves outside of the school (we had keys with acsess to the whole school and all the gates, were just stupid) - had so many debates with elementary schoolers who snuck in about the best pjo character and other books - kicked said elementary schoolers out because the school didnt allow them to be there after their school ended (then snuck them back in) - we spent an entire period just playing random songs and videos on the TVs and kept trying to change it to Never Going To Give You Up - kirby. so much kirby. EVERYWHERE - SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIR omg, the books come in the shelves pre-pepared but the shelves are like tall, metal blocks on wheels you need to open up yourself and move around. we ended up creating a labryinth and getting trapped then i stacked a rolly stool on a chair and that didnt work cuz the stool was bigger than the chair and even tho i would have surived, they said it was too dangerous so i had to climb on a booksehlf to jump over these 6 foot tall bookselves we opened wrong and escape the maze - selling at said scholastic fair which was so fun <33 (i want a retail job so badd) - the amount of times i just sat and read while sorting books- - theres prolly more im forgetting lol, this is getting long tho so ill just end itt TYSM FOR THE ASK, THIS WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE CLASS IN ALL OF MIDDLE SCHOOL (barely beat geometry) AND I LOVELOVELOVE TALKING ABOUT ITT

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Watching the Show Fanfic FMAB

@anastasian-dreamer suggested writing a big rambling post about the FMAB watches the future Au to get it off my chest and for me to offer people to send asks. You want a scene/me to explain how i’d handle something? Send it it!

 So how would this go?

First the background: 

First: Edward is a trans man. He's known from childhood. We dont have transphobia in Amestris or in this world. Envy is genderfluid and Father is literal shadows in a human form. Gender makes zero sense to them and they don't allow bigotry they'd be affected by.

 We’re going to give them testosterone but Ed isn't on it because 1) he doesn't want to take it while Al is in the armour (and that is a frequent discussion) and 2) he's not sure if he wants to. He's a fairly androgynous person and he is small chested. He’s one of the lucky assholes who have very light periods (Winry hates him for it) and its alright. He doesn't want to take it also because a part of him wants kids and he’s nervous it will lower his chances. He also knows adoption is still there so he is a bit torn. I honestly just want to explore this concept.

Second: this is also a soulmate AU. I'm thinking there are multiple types of soulmates: paternal/child, platonic, romantic and enemies. 

 Now, you're born with the paternal ones (and the parent gets their when the child is born) but the others happen later. You are five when you get your platonic and romantic; then you’re ten when you get the enemy one.

 Ed and Al are both born with a red salamander on their shoulders and the flamel Izumi has on her chest. I've read a few ‘your own mark is on your chest’ so we’re going with that. These marks tend to be something that can define you. Edward has the alchemy sign for human on his chest and Al has the helmet of his armour. 

 Hohenheim tries not to let it play on his mind. 

When they turn five, Edward gets a sword and the ouroboros on his arm, while Al gets a kunai. 

 The boys both get a silver gear which is Winry for platonic to. (how can they tell? Vibes. Literal vibes)

 When they're ten, Ed is so confused why they get more ouroboros marks. But he's busy with the transmutation. So big deal. We all know how that ends.

 But Ed also is surprised when he gets a mark when he’s eleven.

( “It kind of looks like the head of a long-haired dog?” 

 “It does. Weird.”)

Ling gets the sign for human and the ouroboros. As well he gains a silver blade for a friend (Lan Fan), the child mark of a long haired dog, and the enemy tattoos of ouroboros along with some family. (he also gains the panda friend mark of the heiress to the Chang family) 

 Greed has a sword and the sign for human, along with markings for all his Chimera buddies and the long haired dog for a child. 

Three: Roy starts off being very nervous about the kids. He sees Al and knows its his soul son. He would keep it quiet if he didn't know that his soulmate Maes would spill the beans. He tells the boys. Edward is so angry that of course it's his fuck up that defines his brother. 

 Roy and Ed keep the antagonism but it’s just their thing. They're like that. Al gets to have a cat that stays with Roy. 

 Also: three way bonds like Roy, Hughes and Gracia aren't uncommon. However due to the need for alchemists in the East Roy is based there. He has a house and makes trips bi weekly to see his soulmates. They also make trips bi weekly so they basically see each other each week.

Four: Various countries have different views on Soulmateds. Amestris believes that while there is a bond its a choice in the end. You don’t need to marry/befriend/whatever your bond is. While about 90% of the time it does happen, there's then 10% everyone knows. 

 Xing fully believes in them and soulmarks are a great honour. There's been a few times clans will join together as an heir will find their partner in another, making an iron clad bond. Soul children are precious and enemies are the utmost awfulness. 

Five: I’m tossing in a few OCs. One is named Amelia Cross. My original story for her is she is the brother’s elder sister from Hohenheim having a one night stand years ago. Theres a whole plot. But for here she's simply the Alchemist that helped make the soldiers into human chimeras before she quit the military. (and was let go because she did human transmutation)

 The other is Amelia’s soul daughter Elaine who is a chimera herself and Ishvalan. Its a whole thing. 

Lets go to the start.

 Now: I think this story would start right after Tucker makes Nina into a Chimera but before the boys see her. 

 And I kinda want to keep to my theme of ‘ah yes everyone sees it’ cause I can. How does this happen? Alchemy. A bunch of stones (some dropped by Hohenheim, some in the ground from Father) bonded together. An alchemist in the region was doing human transmutation to bring back their wife, the stones hijacked it (the alchemist lost their heart) and Truth went: you know why not. (does it make sense? No but I'm keeping it)

 So everyone in the world is watching now. And we don't start with the brothers.

 We start with Slave 23, speaking to the dwarf in the flask. We follow him as he walks to Xing, as he walks the world. We follow him to Trisha and the boys. We see him put pieces together and realize what happened to Xerxes will happen again. Of course we don't actually know YET. As far as anyone can tell he found signs of the Dwarf and went hunting.

 There's also the drama of Ling seeing the marks on Ed and Mei also seeing hers on Al. And like every other reaction to. (the Homunculi are fucking baffled that this kid somehow got a mark for one of them. Hohenheim is freaking out)

 We watch as he leaves. Then we cut to the boys fighting the Freezing Alchemist. 

Now 2003 FMA is really good at the build up so i'll probably borrow from them but I like the freezer beginning. So that's going on. And of course we learn Roy is the parental soulmate, and its all cute…

 And then we learn of the Taboo.

 I 100% think Bradley makes a bullshit claim he knew and decided since a CHILD was willing to join the military and all their trauma he let it slide. Its on the radio.

 Its all ‘aww poor little meow meows’ kind of stuff. Ed and Al hate it, go to Tucker and FUCK NINA?

 Course since Ed’s child mark is shown he claims its destiny. Ed kicks his ass, and then Nina gets to go to grandpa Roy’s place while Amelia gets contacted by one of the soldiers who is a chimera. 

 Which side note: when that happens on screen Ling is busy discussing how to murder Tucker with Lan Fan and Fu (and his clan cause that is their heir’s daughter) while Greed and the others are heading to kick some ass. 

But after the freezing alchemist we get more flashbacks to the boys in the first few years of military, and then so on.

Themes of the story: 

 -A theme there is the discussion of family. I really want the idea of family to play a huge part in this because Al and Ed’s story revolves around their relationship. So a lot of focus is on this. But also I would explore rejecting family. 

 Greed rejects his ‘siblings’. The boys reject Hohenheim because he isn't a bad person but he sure is a bad father (and yes he is. I saw one post defending it but lets be real, abandoning your family is abandoning them no matter what.) Ling rejects some of his siblings. 

 Family is important but it’s family of choice that matters. You can choose your family and many choose their blood family but they also reject it.

 -Romance is the next theme, and exploring what its like to have romantic soulmates. Like I really want some drama since Edward has been raised knowing he doesn't need to be with his romantics mixed with Greed ‘its all mine’ and Ling ‘destiny bound us’. Like they choose to be together of course but its a thing. 

 We have the themes of FMA though included.

Other notes:

 -I do know Ed keeps alchemy and both his automail parts. Not sure how but he does.

 -Mei throws herself into finding out how to free her soulmate. 

 -Mei and Xao Mei both arrive with Ling due to the alliance and that they are platonics.

 -I want to keep Ling being possessed but also I think Father actually is weirdly interested in the soul bond? I think his attempts at being perfect isn't just about like being a god but also being better then humans. And here is a being he's made having a soulmate. Two in fact. And a soul child! He's very invested. So he somehow has it that they can share the bond like they do in canon? I dunno. I'd need to work on it. 

 -Amelia is killed by Scar and it sparks a large subplot because her romantic is actually Kimblee. She visits him every year on his birthday and he's allowed out to her funeral where Elaine is. Amelia and Elaine had a falling out after some stuff but Elaine is pretty messed up. Elaine is also Kimblee’s soul child. Also Elaine is Winry’s romantic soulmate. Its a mess. 

 -I kinda think Ling having Ed as his soulmate puts him right at the top for heirs because ‘ah son of the Sage’ kind of thing mixed in with ‘the other soulmate is immortal’

 -Mrs. Bradley is actually in the know because Pride has her mark as a friend and Wrath couldn't lie to her. They never told Father until after the reveal of Greed’s soulmates but yeah she got told early on. She is subtly talking them away from the plans but it's slow going. (I kinda would want to set up Wrath in Greed’s place as a sacrifice)

[bizlybebo]

For your final thoughts on PD once you finish, I present to thee:

This ramble ask

How ya feeling?

HOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTT ENDYYYYY

ENDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IT. I WAS NOTTTT EXPECTING ANYYYY OF THISSSS AAAAAAAAAAJRGBTJKWEFREGTKWEFREGTKRFGNYT

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR BY SENDING IN THIS ASK. KJREHKJERHD

this is probably gonna be even longer than my ramble after completing the greyscale series so once again i dont expect you to read all of this but OHHH YM GODDD i need to dump my thoughts somewhere cause HOLY SHITTT

after writing this out i really only managed to touch on the last 2-3 episodes but yk. there are my thoughts on the ending so it makes sense. i dont think we wanna see how big my ramble on the entire fucking series could get

spoilers ahead for anyone else who sees this: literally all of prime defenders s1 and s2

ashe came home.

ashe fucking CAME HOME.

now, i had a feeling since about episode 35 that ashe was certainly coming home, because there was so much buildup, yakko did an ashe cosplay, etc. like it would have been stupid for her not to return at that point. plus i kept seeing people drawing a post-trickster ashe and was like huh.

so essentially, i thought that because i Knew, i wouldn't get blindsided by these final episodes. in fact, knowing almost made it more... bearable? i guess, because i could hold onto the light at the end of the tunnel that ashe was 100% coming home. it almost made me feel the same hope that the group was feeling about ashe, because i had that certainty and faith in the good ending.

and then william wisp fucking died. again.

i was really sleepy when i was listening to that scene but still persisting because my anxiety was slowly increasing as the episode went on, but when the trickster just. plunged his hands through william's chest i was FULLY awake just sitting in absolute shock. i'm not the kind of person to cry huge tears over media (i think the only time i non-happy cried watching riptide was ep 53), but when william died For Real i actually gave a good few sobs. i was no longer sleepy i was just in shock and then in grief.

and i was like. oh shit. maybe there is no good ending.

something like that ENTIRELY blindsided me in such a crazy way that it had me doubting ashe would even come home.

and i kept thinking, hey, no, he's risen before, he'll be okay! but then he went to the fucking spirit realm. he got dispensed there with kumori and began the first day of forever and i was like oh. shit.

william was gone.

and the REACTIONS from dakota and vyncent were both so guttural and real and true to their characters in their own ways. like so good it's nearly painful to think about.

dakota's loud. he's loud and he's rambunctious because he's dakota. he never speaks below a shout.

but when william was torn in half, he wasn't shouting, he was wailing. the absolute shock and denial he was in haunts me dude.

dakota's was begging william not to do this to him. he could forgive william for so much-- for lying to him, for not asking for his help, for fucking killing jade, but he could never forgive william for dying.

dakota's not the kind of kid to ask, y'know? if something doesn't go the way it should to him then he'll fight abrasively and outwardly for what he believes is right, or in the harder cases he'll bite the bullet and take the fall.

but here, he was pleading with william to just. not die.

and i think the final thing that shattered my faith that hey, maybe william wasn't gone was that tide was so accepting of it. he fell to his knees, he grieved and he was torn apart for a second, but then he was back up, holding dakota, going as far as to use a whole turn in initiative to only hug his boy despite the deadly circumstances. despite the world falling apart around them. to loosely quote my other mutual cayden (<333), "at the end of everything hold onto something and dakota had to hold onto tide because it was the end of everything for him" and i think that's just. the only way i can really phrase it. top 10 moments that rewired my brain chemistry

and dont get me started on dakota LITERALLY JUMPING THROUGH HELL FOR EVERYBODY. JUMPING THROUGH HELL, LOOKING THE TRICKSTER IN THE EYES AS HE DID SO. LIKE I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT SOARING THROUGH THE BURNING SKIES OF THE CHAOS REALM? THE REALM THAT CORRUPTS AND WARPS EVEN THE STRONGEST DEMONS? AND STILL COMING OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE YOU'RE DAKOTA MOTHERFUCKING COLE AND YOU SIMPLY REFUSE TO SUCCUMB?? FUCKING INSANEEE.

and. fucking. fuck.

vyncent. MOTHERFUCKING. sol.

when i fucking catch condifiction.

vyncent sol is such an interesting fucking character. most of the time i'm like "there is something deeply wrong with him <3" in an endearing sense because yknow. he's a little strange. he's not from around here.

but oh my god.

vyncent sol, THE character development guy ever.

he starts off season 1 violent, unable to control his powers. he's violent, and he's scared, and he's homesick, and he's like a skittish dog who bites when it gets nervous because he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing here.

but he changes. he grows.

he gets his closure with fauna, yeah, but then he finds a new home. he finds himself in a flying car, chasing after the fucking lich, watching william and dakota fighting in the front seat like a married couple, and he just thinks yeah. this is home.

and he doesn't quite unlearn his violence or his vengeance but they do certainly shift gears (also tidbit-- the 'fatal flaw' of justice is vengeance which is part of why i chose him for that human soul in the undertale shit i was telling you about :D).

his character is about balance. he has to learn not to be reckless and violent like in season 1, while also not apathetic and taking inaction like he did in s2 episodes 31 and 32.

at the end of everything, he protects william with his life, ready to interpose any attack. he thinks that he can do right by somebody this time, act now so that there aren't any consequences later (y'know, like he never did with jade, or ashe, or the lich).

but william. still. dies.

the sheer anger that vyncent felt in that moment was overshadowed so strongly by his grief, but it was still there. i can't even put it into words without going on a whole nother tangent but oh my fucking god. dude. vyncent sol has irreparably rewired my brain he is all i'm gonna think about.

prime defenders honestly is just THE character development show in general. i haven't even touched on william's development, on how he put faith in his friends over mal even if he knew it was going to make things much harder because he trusted dakota and vyncent so much. on how he literally got killed, repeatedly, over and over, in the spirit realm for 12 hours straight. on how he dirtied his hands during the greyscale arc out of fear.

on how he finally. stopped. running. stopped trying to escape who he was. but still won't come out of the closet

and god this is a looooong fucking ramble and i haven't even said much yet, this is only me screaming about the last two episodes really, but so much has happened in them that i just AUUUUGUGHGGHGHJKTEHRKJ

and. holy fucking shit.

JADE??? MAY STILL BE ALIVE??? D OYOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING FERAL IM GOING OVER THIS JADE CANTRIP VENGEANCE ARC. I NEEEEEED XAVIERRRR TO SEE HER AGAINNNN JADE AND XAVIER'S FRIENDSHIP MEANS SO FUCKING MUCHHH TO MEEEEE

AND ATLAS? BRO POOR FUCKING ATLAS. he really could not catch a fucking break for the ENTIRE series. when bizly started describing the 'odd fizzling' i was like 'man this guy is just going THROUGH it with his career i feel kinda bad for him' and then.

he was dead.

i think grizzly said it best, how bizly has to 'keep reminding us that prime defenders is r-rated' cause yk. the sudden violence/gore. it was so impactful you were so right when you were talking about tonal whiplash because holy SHIT.

like we were just in mario kart hell chasing after le frog who stole pizza he couldnt even eat cause he was vegetarian. and then atlas' throat was slit and he was marked with an x. (x as in xavier's vigilante persona????????RTEHRTTT$YRJHTTETR)

im just AUGUGHGHGH so FUCKING UNWELLLL OVER THIS ENTIRE SERIES. I'M SO STOKED FOR WONDERLUST BUT ALSO THAT MEANS PRIME DEFENDERS PROBABLY WON'T RETURN UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR OR EVEN LATER.

i need a prime defenders christmas episode. dearly.

the bright side of this is that now i can write a shit ton of fic + inhale every single fic under the prime defenders tag on ao3.

but GODDD this is the most gutwrenching piece of media ever. i've never had such a strong hyperfixation since 2020 because the world is just so good. every single character and npc means the world to me. even summer and doug are constant subjects of my brainrot. even fucking lightspeed and harlem and aughughugnjtr.

thank you for the ask endy lmao im FUCKING CLAWING AT THE WALLS OVER THIS SHOW. AIUKGHEJHW

JADE CANTRIP REVENGE ARC PLSPSLPLSPLSPLSPLSPLS. I NEED HER TO COME BACK AND I NEED HER TO COME BACK WRONG AND I NEED XAVIER TO BE TERRIFIED OF HIS BEST FRIEND EVEN THOUGH IT'LL EMOTIONALLY DESTROY ME AKTJHETRKJTRWKERE

okay that's. all i can say for now

[the-holy-ghosted]

Putting on my sunglasses again wow hello another anon about Ghosted (2011)

Care to share your thoughts about what happens after the final scene like wow how do these characters spend the remainder of their sentences after such dramatic events. one really does have to wonder *points the microphone in your direction*

ok putting on my spoilers hat again but im not putting it under a cut. if you feel like watching ghosted then dont read this post. if you dont feel like watching ghosted then feel free to listen to my rambling madness

anyways i think that after the final events of the film where jack and paul """reconcile""" and it cuts off i think they do truly reconcile afterward. i dont think theres a bone in either of their bodies that is not enraged beyond belief over what the other has done to them but theres also no bone thats not wracked with guilt for what theyve done to the other in return. very deeply, they believe they owe each other. although it was jacks own fault for getting put in prison, i think paul very much does feel solely responsible for having ruined his whole family. (something something do we remember jacks "what do you know about it? what its like? to take someone's life and know that youve ruined so many others?" that he spat at clay.. i think paul knows very intimately) and he feels he owes jack what he can never give him. he owes him a son, for one thing. indirectly, he owes him a wife. he owes him a happy family he couldnt return to after doing so much time for a mistake that ended in the loss of a life and although it was pauls own fault for getting put in prison, for what its worth, what else did he have going for him? he had no stable family and no consistent friendships and paul was essentially forced to grow up impossibly fast and skip out on all the nice parts of growing up. having people who loved him. who wanted to take care of him. who knew him and who he didnt have to lie to. at the end of the day yes paul did it and it hurts jack more than he could ever tell him but hes so young... jacks already gotten his payback. god hes probably responsible for so much physical and mental damage and weeks upon weeks upon weeks of physical therapy that will get paul to a place that is funtional but nowhere near as capable as he was before. paul ruined his life but hes ruined pauls, too. in a way he owes it to him to take care of him for that. he owes paul some semblance of stability. and for jacks own sake, he needs to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesnt ruin anybody elses lives. to make sure nobody else hurts him.

in a nutshell i do think they stick very close together after their altercation. for the remainder of their sentences and to an extent once they get out, too. who else do they have, now? neither of them have anybody they want to see outside waiting for them. they have destroyed each others whole lives and they need to keep each other as close as possible because of it. theres no moving on from this whatsoever with what they know of each other and how theyve already bonded in the three months they were together. what can they do but stay that way? they will collect what they are owed from each other one way or another

... also this is only partially related but i do believe that for the entirety of jacks time in solitary confinement, he didnt know that paul was alive. he was fully convinced that he'd killed paul and was able to come to terms with that. i think it just adds a good layer of emotion on top of everything to think that hes only informed that pauls been asking for him, tha tpaul is alive, after hes let back in with the rest of the wing. he didnt prepare himself for this outcome and, as depicted in the scene, looks to donner in disbelief and then starts to cry before he even sits down next to paul. i think it would be good. i think it would hurt him real bad

[thesungod]

their theme is so inconsistent like at the beginning it feels clear, being who you are and accepting each other’s darkness, but the way its done is 😬 and then it switches up to being literally budget toa saying “well everything can change yk??? don’t stay in the darkness” but in a horrible fashion and they’re acting like this is what they’ve been trying to tell me in the past 400 pages when it ISNT dont LIE to ME

i don’t think EITHER of them was reading the book as they write they were just mashing words together bc im watching a book promo for it rn and rick’s saying that will likes nico bc he likes nicos ““darkness”” and how intrigues him and mark’s saying neither of nico or will wants to change that core part of the other. which explains away him in BOO trying to tell nico that nobody disliked him—being that will was projecting his own feelings about nico onto others—and also relates will to apollo even more with their need to reach out to outcasts and love them. but then they didn’t write that they literally wrote that will doesn’t like it and he wants to fix it. thats my STEP SON and they did that to him.

rick did not want to write this book at all, and mark probably projected their nico stanisms onto the other characters without justifying the stanisms. you can really tell when rick has a passion for writing something and when he could not care less. the subtle toa promo in one of the gorgyra scenes and apollo’s updated glossary—he wants you to read toa so bad he could not gaf about this book. and yet apollo is never mentioned positively like give him back to me.

speaking of mark i think this is just a consistent issue they have when writing. i read reviews of one of their books (anger is a gift) and some were very negative about the way the narrative made the protagonist the most righteous person ever and completely revolved around them. ifl that issue bleeds into this book as well.

i saw people (including the writers) say this book is darker than a lot of rick’s other books and i really need them to shut the fuck up; THO literally had kids tied up in crucifixes to be burned at the stake 😭

ok sorry for the ramble i see the letters tsats together and i go on a rampage

you absolutely ate this up!!

also laughing at you calling it “budget toa” because that’s exactly what i said to a friend about this book once. i felt almost offended over the authors trying to fit the “everyone can change!!” narrative last minute and make Nico the symbol of re-invention after five whole books of ToA. i was very “how dare you stand where he stood” about it which is childish but alas.

i’ve also mentioned several times how will and nico’s conflict in the book was not intriguing to read about because it was inconsistent. not to mention that according to the timeline they’ve been together for a year!!! an entire year!!! and the book still has Will acting #shocked that Nico, idk, likes darkness.

the Mary-Suing of Nico literally the worst thing to ever happen to me. i’m usually all for my faves winning, but that’s after they’ve been through the mortifying ordeal of losing, yk. and i get that Nico has been through a lot but the book was basically a 400-pages-long ass kissing and i couldn’t do it.

i couldn’t even feel particularly moved or vindicated by Bob pledging loyalty to him in the end because it wasn’t cathartic at all. i was like we get it dude lol

same with his “friendship” with Piper tbh. not everyone needs to like Nico😭 i would have totally loved it if the book had shown a friendship progress organically through their grief for Jason or common interests (even if just briefly narrated through a recollection!! i’m not saying we needed chapters of flashbacks or Piper as a third main), but Nico does not mention her once ever. they didn’t even like each other in HoO!! then at the end of the book he calls her and he is all like “of course she wouldn’t be angry at me for not calling after Jason died <3 she understands that grief is complicated <3”

my king Piper isn’t angry at you for not calling because she dgaf about you. why would she. who are you to her

another thing I’ll never get over re: Nico and Will’s relationship is how, per the book, Nico encouraged Will to come out and was the first one of the two to do so, when every. single. thing written about them in the Hidden Oracle suggests the opposite.

why the fuck is Nico so reticent and embarrassed about admitting to be Will’s boyfriend in the first book of ToA if it’s Nico who came out first? IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMP might I add?

because i get that coming out to someone doesn’t necessarily mean being comfortable coming out to everyone, but Nico announced his crush IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMP. and asked Will out. and Will wasn’t out at the time. so whyyyy is their dynamic on THO literally the opposite of this? with Will pushing Nico to be more open about their relationship while Nico plays coy? because Apollo is Will’s father? idk, maybe i guess😭

but it’s pretty obvious the change in the dynamic was established later on and that the impression we were supposed to have while reading THO is that Will was the one more comfortable and in tune with his sexuality. like, come on.

[airimomoid]

to whoever sees this post. do you have a favourite april fools class? because i do and it is one HUNDRED percent solid heart. i love every character in here so much it is so perfect to me that they were all put together

shiho is not my favourite in leo/need (its actually honami) but i honestly really identify with her and it's so great to watch her develop and see the way she deeply cares for her friends (and her sister please stop saying she hates/dislikes shizuku i cant take it) despite her tough exterior

airi is my absolute favourite character for so many reasons. first of all- she is so cute! i love her design and her cards are all great. but even more so i adore her character as a whole. you can see that she really loves not only her fans - from the way she interacts with them on livestreams, and there's also her interactions with saki if you need another example -, but also her unitmates - the way she shares her experience with minori to help her improve, admires haruka and supports her, reminding her to take breaks, and dont even get me *started* on shizuku because there is so much to say about them that i would end up talking about them forever - and also her close friends, such as ena (she's also in solid heart by the way! love her!)

akito is so SO passionate about music and honestly i'm with him there. he likes people who are also passionate about their interests - i am also with him there! i just overall really enjoy how committed and hard working he is when it comes to music, the way he interacts with and cares for the rest of vbs, and also i think his dynamic with ena is great

nene is literally just like me for real for real. i love to reread the wxs stories in order to see how she gradually opens up to her unitmates and becomes more confident - around her peers, but also whilst performing on stage. the rest of wxs love and care about her and she, too, loves and cares about them! she dreams big, and continues to pursue her dreams even though she knows that one day she'll have to leave wxs because of them. because of this she also cherishes all the time she spends with them !! also in canary sings in a quagmire she has the courage and strength to ask for help from her idol herself and it's just so brilliant to see how far she's come from the beginning of the story when she could barely talk to the rest of wxs and had to hide behind nenerobo AND SHE'S ALSO JUST SO CUTE IN GENERAL AND I LOVE HER OK

i feel like ena and her character arc often don't get a lot of attention in this fandom compared to the rest of niigo but i honestly love how far she's come and how she's improving at art and gradually gaining more and more confidence in her creations - to the point where she also teaches others how to draw (rainbow canvas event story) . just her deciding to rejoin her old art class was such an impactful moment for me and i'm super interested to see how she'll develop from this point onward. furthermore! the way she supports the rest of niigo! i love it! when she took mafuyu to her house in someday this wish will transcend the morning sky! the ending of my footsteps your destination! it's just so beautiful and she is such a great character and i could talk about her and niigo in general for hours but for the sake of this post not being longer than an essay i will not

and KAITO ! i do not really have anything to say about him compared to the others but some time last year i made a list of my favourite commissioned songs from each unit and they all featured kaito (except niigo because niigo kaito didnt exist at the time) so theres that

to the like two or three people who will see this thank you so much for listening to my ramblings

also i feel kinda bad for not writing that much about shiho i completely underestimated the length of the rants i would go on about tye others 😭 read that day the sky was far away its great

[fruit-salad-ship]

Got canon nonsense stuck brewing in my head. (read ramblings below)

Notably a big storm rolling in, staff have the place on lockdown, plenty of people have gone home before the boats stopped running between Dotaku and the mainland, its just the skeleton crew while this thing passes, enough to wrangle the pokemon and keep things safe. Peach hasnt been found most of the day, spotted darting between jobs, tying things down, securing windows, tripple checking the more dangerous mons in their areas, soothing those who struggle with the weather, feeding things, making sure the vulnerable types are safe, a list as long as her arm to tick through. Greys got his Gyarados pod on watch for those caught up in strong stormy waters, dragged too far out. Theres a whole host of cautions in place, sea defences, security to stop any pokemon getting lost. He's double checking the backup generators for the labs so the lights stay on and the sick mons have what they need. Plums out herding, the barns being filled with pokemon of all kinds, helping staff with gear, with saftey protocol, the tricky escape artists not getting past her tactical mind, working closely with a few who she's borrowed to speed the work up, Saxon the houndoom, one of Greys mons has kept her and her little rockruff company through this all as rain starts to hammer down.

Things seem fine, Plum and Grey get in, soaked through but from what they can tell, the place is going to hold just fine as the wind batters, throws branches at speed, rain pounding the mountains causing the odd mudslide. All pokemon safe, all staff accounted for...bar one. It gets late, dark, impossible for sound to travel outside, thunder and lightening frequent and harsh, Greys at the window with a hot drink, watching, waiting. Plum calms him, a gentle hand on his arm, assuring him she'll be fine. Peach is...well, she's tough. She's probably out sitting with a pokemon who's scared, they both know she'd do that without a second thought. Even Val is nervous however, a rare moment where she's not with her trainer, she'd been asked to help others in their jobs and lost track of her sometime around sunset.

Midnight. No chatter on the radios, no other staff have seen her, the weathers as bad as ever, serious storm, and by this point even Plums starting to pace a little. They cave, Grey gets Boa's dad, a large and old Garchomp, while the ranger calls for Missy, both given the task to go find the professor. They can handle the weather, dragons manage just fine, and so they both go out into the rain and think about where to start, just about to take off. Its that moment they all, humans included, val too, spot blue light between lightening strikes, Boa's dragonfire, way above in the coulds, her big dragon dad knows that anywhere and takes off towards it.

Above in the impossible weather they watch the blurred Orange of the charizard hybrid fall, catch itself, dodge and roll in air, trying to shake something, somethign so fast not even she can get away. Through the rain it was hard to see, Grey squints, Plums quick to rsh and grab some binoculars, both trying to track the impossibly fast moevement. On Boa's back is their idiot, in her arms a pokemon tucked up under her jacket, one arm holding it protectivley, the other holding onto the riding gear tightly. For a while they cant work out whats around, but Val sees, she's not looking close like the humans, she's spotting the bigger picture. What felt originally like a dark cloud is lit up by another flash of lightening, the sillouette of a legend, something so big and dangerous, it makes all the fur on the back of her neck stand on end instantly. Peach is attempting to outrun a Zapdos, something that had been spotted close a few months ago way out at sea, and seemed to be attracted to or even causing the storm they were currently experiencing.

The dont know what to do, but both spring into action to try to cause some commotion, distract it.

Peach had been working hard, riding back home to buckle down and wait the weather out. The huge form of this bird pokemon cut her route off, flew past without even acknowledging her or Boa, hovering as they both looked to it, watched it swoop, go to grab a tauros, miss and instead settle for the little Combusken with it. So small in its huge grip. Of course they had to do something, it was a trainers partner, it had loved ones and a family, it wasnt just some wild mon who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Every fiber in their beings said 'dont chase this down' but they had to. Peach had to convince Boa to fly at it, they had to help. The zapdos was coasting casually, unbothered by the strong winds, be it because of size or power, the charizard having to work extra hard to catch up, stay the course, rain battering them both. A stealthy and tactical swoop from above it to below, one solid blast of dragon fire, and its grip loosneed. The Combusken fell, caught by the professor, and the attention was on them very quickly as it was tucked away under her jacket safely. The feeling of static as they flew away faster than ever before was enough to keep both trainer and rider on edge, hardly able to dodge the electrical blasts in time, a tail, an arm, caught now and then putting the fear of the gods in them both, a direct hit from that would be the end. They fell to try to double back fast, a big bird like that too large to make sharp turns, able to get a couple more hits in to try to deterr it. It was on the dive, cold stinging skin, near blinded from the rain that they squinted over, saw something coming in fast, and then another, and several more, at the very front of the pack Boa's dad, a whole pack of pokemon behind it, some charizard, skarmory, other garchomp, salamance, Missy, the gyarados pod. Enough fire power to push the legend back a moment, a barrage of attacks striking in various places. The rain however was making all parties vulnerable to electric attacks, and it was travelling well to connect to targets. It was a brutal fight, Peach didnt land, Boa's blood boiled with the sheer need to be part of the dragon assault, so they stayed up there, drove the damn thing away, defended the island. You can only imagine the worry Grey and Plum went through, watching from the ground with breath hitched in their lungs over the danger of the situation, they'd not seen one of these pokemon close like this, the island proxiity to the orange islands had its draw backs. When they all finally returned alive, it was heal-up time for the pokemon, Peach thanked them all, they worked so hard, didnt expect that kind of an incident, but they kept the island safe. If it wasnt for her loved ones, you know peach would have helped all the pokemon first, even though her damage was quite substantial.

She ignored the flood of memories she associated with the feeling of static, pushed them away, focused on the Combusken in her jacket who was crying like a baby, thinking it was a snack for sure. both Plum and Grey shed a few tears of worry, plum way more. The pokemon got rest, medicine, care and food, they did amazing. and finally she was able to hobble home and sit down. the severity of the situation hit, she struggled to sleep, needing to be held, between her two beloved people she for a second thought she may not see again at points. honestly I wanna draw some of this so bad, epic storm flights and cool lighting is a hook for me haha

[thatadhdmood]

How much research do you consider necessary for someone to self diagnose. Me personally, I have put in around 30 hours reading articles, talking tests, watching videos on people with adhd (less so autism but seeing more audhd things make more sense then just adhd) and I just want to know if it's enough. Like, it is going to be impossible for me to get a diagnoses for at least 4 years, more likely 8 because money.

I dont think that there should be a certain number of hours you need to hit. If you know yourself and have done the enough research you feel certain and have asked other for their opinion, asking any autistic friends if your lucky enough to have their opinions is good, asking friends and family who may have known you when you where younger. Life is an ever going mission of seeking knowledge. I think that even if you arent autistic that if interacting with the autistic community, using the resources and coping mechanisms, makes you feel less isolated in your experiences as a person and helps ease your social issues or functioning or sensory issues in life then do it! And if it isnt autism and is some other underlying issue but the coping mechanism help, then thats great. And if it leads to you trying to get a diagnosis then the doctor will set you right, and theres no harm about it. It lead you to seeking help in the end and until you could it helped you connect with a community that could help you until then. I like helping people even if they arent "actually" autistic or "actually" adhd and might be confused, well they have a reason of discomfort and feeling of something off to lead them to me and if they can be helped. Oh wait fuck. I had a bowl and im stoned im sorry i shouldnt be answering my asks stoned ive gone all rambly. Lmao Im fine but Ive gone very off topic. But like. You get what i mean right. PRO SELF DIAGNOSIS

THIS TUMBLR IS PRO SELF DIAGNOSIS

[uselessmicrowave]

HII I’m so excited to submit a matchup!! I’d like the MTMTE LL cons (or just anything besides autobots), and maybe Tfp decepticons? I love your writing..

Pronouns: any

Attracted to: all and everything

Zodiac: Aries if important

Appearance: long dark/almost black hair with bangs, same color eyes. I’m pretty lean and average height, always dress in dark clothing or neutral shades. Very into formal clothes, always dress like i have somewhere to go(i dont)

Personality: when meeting someone for the first time, I’m all awkward smiles, avoiding eye contact, and shy politeness. Ermm i tend to get attached to people to continue to look past that and continue talking to me. Anyways after being friends for a while, i get so much louder and more talkative, i like to annoy/tease my friends but will stop when they tell me to. Sarcastic, protective, loyal, and i also tend to make A LOT of jokes…sometimes during bad times. On the other hand, i can be quite irritable, gets overstimulated by my surroundings easily, awful memory, no motivation to do simple tasks at times, sensitive, sometimes does not know when to shut up. Stubborn AS HELL and erm,

Likes: all forms of art, fiction books, the night sky, quiet environments, rain, storms, loud music, spending time with people i care about, playing videogames, trying out new hobbies, having my own space once in a while. Love when people rant about their interests to me as well, like yes please keep talking

Dislikes: not doing anything for a long period of time, loud and crowded places, hot weather,

Hobbies: oh boy..drawing, writing, reading, tinkering with technology, coding, sculpting, 3d modeling, crocheting, storytelling. I also like collecting knives, rocks, figures, and toy cars :D

Pets: i have a puppy rn! I love him and he’s very energetic, sometimes cuddly, but very protective. Very playful and likes climbing on everything

Pet peeves: people that can’t take silly jokes…but also people that can’t take anything seriously. Need a middle ground! No communication/silent treatment habits, making fun of my interests or me in general. Treating me differently in front of others idk

I love your writing too, thank you! Sorry for only doing one of the continuities, but I’m not that far into MTMTE and just not sure who counts as a con/is a con. I’m matching you up with TFP Knockout!

Knockout

After getting over the notion of having a human aboard the Nemesis, Knockout begins to admire you. The way you dress nicely, the colors you dress with, your hair, ect.

He likes that you’re shy at first, he can work with shy. It gives him room talk about the last human show he watched or what slag plan Starscream had the other day. However, Knockout wants you to ask questions so that he knows his rambling is appreciated (it isn’t by the vehicons he patches up).

He’s also sarcastic, stubborn, loyal and protective, Breakdown jokes that they have another mini KO on the ship.

Show him your toy car collection! He’ll love seeing different models and brands, colors, ect.

The medbay is usually very quiet, so you’ll spend most of your time with him there.

He would offer to take you to art museums, but until Shockwave fixes the human holoforms he won’t mention it to you.

Knockout can be a little bit dismissive about communication issues, but he will come around if you’re insistent enough.

He will never treat you differently just because you’re in front of someone else. Megatron? Optimus Prime? Unicron himself? He’ll still give you a little kiss.