#but for now. watch how hard i can cry
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not to be that guy but. ianite+jordan as “you were a wonderful experience” “you were . . . everything” . explodes everywhere
#icarus speaks#i need a tag for them#but for now. watch how hard i can cry#i saw an analysis of that line#of how simon was just an experience because well. betty IS everything now#he can’t be everything because that’s her job. she will live and cease and be reborn all over again#so in the span of her endless existence. he was just an experience#and. yknow. the demons.
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The only singer ever!
#bystay#createskz#stray kids#linosource#*m.gif#*minho#analook#usersemily#melontrack#mimotag#kpopccc#gifs#I can't wait for this full episode to be out#i am so biased (it's the only one i'll watch from beginning to end without skipping anything lol)#can we just talk about how he got eliminated because fckass jyp thought he was lacking (he kind of was (i love you minho))#and now he's going on a 100% singing show as the dance leader of his group#i'm going to cry if I think too hard about it#i'm just so proud of him and god dammit there's a tear or two in my eye
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happy sonadow to all that celebrate LMAO
#sth#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#tails the fox#tails is tired of watching these bastards hate flirt#should i even tag this as ship???#this is how some of my sonadow mutuals got me frfr#THIS IS A JOKE BTW#i like sonadow#I FINALLY FOUND A BRUSH THAT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE A PENCIL im SO HAPPY YIPPE#i can sketch and not cry now sdmf;skm#dont look too hard at the colors alright?? i was trying something out and didnt really like it kalnfkl#dunkinsart
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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Has enough time passed that we can talk about the Blacklist finale. I don’t even care about what happened plot-wise that’s not important. I specifically mean Red’s pants
#can we say it can we talk about how his bulge was so extremely visible in that tan suit#the entire ep I was crying so hard I threw up and then slept for 14 hours#but whenever I watch it now I’m like gd damn. his dick is swinging around in those pants
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☆ @acoldsovereign ☆ — (Send 👑 if you like my writing! Bonus points if you tell me why!) 👑 {{ I know you're shy, so I'm being patient and giving you spaceeee!
But anyway, from what I've seen from you, you're an AMAZING writer, and I can't wait to write with you! (I also am still figuring out what type of random starter to give you/which one of your muses to engage with because I'm someone that does that heheheh. That and you write them all so well, so I can't pick! Ahhh!). ❤️ Anyway, no rush! I respect you and what you do!!!
AHHHHHH, THANK YOU SO MUCH Q//3//Q
Honestly, my shyness mostly involves me sending asks or responding to open posts...the best way to get me cozy is just yeet your own muses at me or such. Kind of builds my courage and after about like three I usually get bold enough to yeet back things — also OOC interactions help too.
BUT ALSO, I WANNA SO BADLY INTERACT WITH YOUR MUSE. SEEMS LIKE IT BE A BLAST AND I AM DOWN FOR THAT SO HARD, LIKE ALL YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS HAVE BEEN [MWAH] CHEF'S KISS.
AND AGAIN THANK YOU Q//w//Q
I am just glad you and everyone else has been enjoying my silly little muses and me, it makes me happy and encourages me so much to continue TT///w///TT Means so so much <3333
#Out Of Ki | {OOC}#acoldsovereign#ask#answered#Send 👑 Ask Meme#SOBBING AT YOU HARD#WATCH HOW HARD I CAN CRY RIGHT NOW#UGH YOU ARE AMAZING TOO; I AM SO EXCITED TO WRITE WITH YOU TOO--#LIKE MAKING GRABBIES AT YOU AND MUSE
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...
#oh lads. lads. lads. lads. im being sucked back into the world of academia#i dont even kno what happened. a week ago i was crying bc i was like: this is impossible. i simply cannot do this.#and then i went into the lab sunday and miraculously i was able to easily read some papers. like i dont kno how to discribe how baffling it#was. like reading papers is like pulling teeth and this was somehow easy. i think maybe it was bc i let myself get distracted and wander#thru it. and then after that i got so much done this week and i was tired but having fun. and like the thing is: i fucking love evolution#it's like puzzling out the code for life in both a metaphical and literal sense. its fucking incredible. and my project is also very#interesting. if a bit intimidating in its scope. ya kno. just in the way photosynthesis is generally intimidating#but i think i have a strain thats lost chlf which is really interesting and my advisor said we might have the money to try some crispr for#my cyano children. hypothetically. maybe. and i get to do some poking around in genomes. theres so so much to love there#how could i possibly want to do anything else? and yet. and yet. here at the end of the week im so wrung out and i kno i just have to start#again on sunday and i kno im gonna have to step it up in terms of reading if i want to make it through a committee meeting and proposal#defense. not to even mention a comprehensive exam. and what do i get at the end of all this? a lifetime of academia draining my life away.#bc what i do is so academic. so whats the point? its just so frustrating.#and on top of that ive got all this data from my old lab that i kno i have to work on. and i will. i will. but with what time?#anyway the point is. i can see a path forward now where i stay here and decide the pain will be worth it despite not knowing where im going#after that. im just so tried#but right now it feels like im gonna stay until someone kicks me out#but that doesnt exactly make me feel happy. ugh. but if i stay i want to get my old pi to come here and give a seminar. ill warn her how#intimidating the department is tho. we've had 2 talks in the last 2 weeks that were... not good. particularly the one this week#like she couldnt answer a single question they thru at her and didnt seem to kno her data sets. it was hard to watch. anyway. i just want#to see my academic mother again. send me back to the desert! let me rot in a field full of sage#but send me back to the hills of an older mountain range. where i can climb sandstone cliffs and lay in carpets of moss. except i wouldnt do#that bc of all the ticks and threat of lyme disease...#anyway. im still tired. still sad. and there doesnt seem to b a way out#unrelated
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I have recently discovered SOMA has a fandom on tumblr and I don’t think my life has ever been more complete
#SO GUYS HAVE#HAVE I#EVER MENTIONED#HOW MUCH I LOVE TJIS GAME#I WATCHED A PLAYHROUGJ OF IT AND ENDED UP GETTING IN LIKE. A LONG RANT WITH A FRIEND ABOUT IT#SINCE I DRAGGED TJEM INTO THE ROT TOO#Guys guys I really love philosophical horror can you tell#Also I promise I am not leaving PHIGHTING! anytime soon I am just#Really obsessed with this horror game#I am so autistic for robots giys#Like#like guys#you guys could never understand#Murder drones/ultrakill/biograft phighting/and now soma I am so mentally ill#/VSILLY#Anyways pls watch the soma play through or even better play the game oh my FUCK#IT MADE ME#GENUINELY CRY SO UNRELIABLY HARD THE ENDING ABSOLUTELY RUINED ME#It’s such an underrated game too IH my goodness#I’m so happy it’s finally getting the attention it’s deserbes#Cro chatter#soma#soma game#soma (2015)
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any time i remember time lord victorious arc i start shaking like a sick fucking dog
#having an extraordinarily hard time watching waters of mars rn literally episode of all fucking time#they dont make them like this anyMOOOOOOOOOORE OHHMY GODDDD#icould talk abt it for hours istg it's so. grips you shakes you shakes you shakes you shakes you sh#the WAYYDYDYDHDHDJDJDJDUJDJDHDJDUDJD THHHEEEE THE THE THE . HTHHEHEH#the way u can see glimpses of what's to come in all 4 seasons but especially in voyage of the#damned and then s4 onwards but u dont realise JUST how much he went insane until now#like there's echoes of this in votd but you might not even pick up on it if you dont Know#n here he's just fully gone it's sooo. IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOO. CHARACTER OF ALL TIME#man so profoundly tragic his entire story is abt speedrunning losing everything and#going insane and dying. and yet he still spends like 20 entire minutes crying and begging not to die. okay#i cant rank drs they're my best friends so idk who my fave dr is but 10's is easily my favourite story it's so. it's SOOO.#anyway sorry. stops shaking you and pats your arms down awkwardly. carry on#doctor who#dw lb#10th doctor#the waters of mars#time lord victorious#i was today years old when i learned there's apparently a whole audio series about it that#came out in the past few years. well i aint listenin to that. everything i need is on my screen already#also. the way most ppl havent even seen these specials coz they're impossible to find online..#even tho waters of mars is like. not just extremely important but also yknow. extremely good
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#cw vent#maybe i stayed up too late but suddenly i feel like crying#like really badly#i tried very hard today#but im still so scared#of everything#im being watched. i am absolutely sure im being watched#i can feel somebodys presence over my shoulder now and they can probably read what im typing#its been like this for so long#and#as im typing this it has been the sixteenth of juky for about two hours#twenty two hours left until my birthday#i will be sixteen#that is scaring me so much#i haven't progressed since i was maybe eleven#i still can't take care of mysekf. i shouldn't ve admitting to this but i genuinely can't do basic actions#i constantly forget to keep my body in a safe state. my hair is so messy. i get tok focused on other stuff and most of the time i just#forget to shower#i am genuinely so disgusting and unhygienic. i know this and want to fix it#but also.. i just wish i was like just an internet person#if i didn't have to eat or maintain my body i think id be a much happier person#im scared#how can i possibly be turning 16. i haven't even learnt how to eat food yet#most meals i can't eat without gagging or feeling like vomiting#i don't know why im typing all this out#for a while i was okay with it being my birthday soon. because i thought i would finally get attention and love from others#but im starting to realise that probably will not be happening#:[#why am i typing this out. my head hurts#and im gonna die
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"Would you like me to translate that? Or was it for me?" The show's thesis
#my theory is that by surrendering toranaga and everyone important ends up inside osaka and so do the weapons#penetrating osaka was the problem he said would make them lose. so now if they are inside 🤷🏻♀️ they can win#this is my design#cockroaches are cacarooch????? AJSHAKAJAKA#kakarooch??? closer to cucaracha idk where the cock came from to the englishmen#he's making her tea..... these intimate scenes go off so hard. now can he respect her and like value her as a person individually of#whose daughter she is??? the act is valued but lets take things along#YEAAAAH!! YOU TELL HIM!!!!! the bow right after to leave akdhaksjakw thats the diva i want#cry about it!! BOOHOO#anjin turning around omg.... he is ashamed of them i know akdjaksn#the cortisans beside the church akdhaksjdks#toranaga will make a little joke before he goes#NOOOOOO OLD MAN BREAK UP NOOOÒO#buntaro is going to kill toranaga.... he is fed up and his father wont let him kill himself his wife wont kill herself with him...#this people's 'i am going to kill myelf in front of you to change the trajectory of your life' game is STRONG#WHAT IS HE SO ANGRY ABOUT??? my guy!!!!#SEE HOW HE IS FAKING IT!!! HE WILL ATTACK!!! aure of my firts tag now lmao#thanking his son's ashes for some extra time.... insane#talking tag#watching shogun#YES I AM LIVE POSTING EVEN IF I SAID I WOULDNT!! THESE LAST EPISODES ARE TOO GOOD!! I HAVE THOTS!!
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wait i'm reading the same live tl and
"T: Oh no, I was physically blessed and healthy despite everything, so compared to your childhood, Sora—
T: Wait, right, these things aren't to be compared with anyone else."
happy elements if you don't elaborate on that
NO RIGHT I GOT HUNG UP ON THAT TOO. LIKE WHAT?????? SORA LORE DROP WITH NO ELABORATION??????????????
happyele was sora a sick child is that why he was a hikikomori. did sora have some disability. DOES sora have some disability. happyele listen to me. the thought alone makes me so sad omfg not ONLY did sora feel like an alien bc of his perception of the world being different due to synesthesia but now ur telling me, if going by tsumugis words, he wasnt "physically blessed and healthy" ?!?!?!?!?!?!??! BC THEN THERES AN EVEN SMALLER LIKELIHOOD OF HIM BEING ABLE TO HANG OUT WITH THE OTHER KIDS WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER EVEN IF HE AND THE KIDS WANTED TO im going thru it so bad
#need u guys to know that like every line of dialogue so far has made me want to scream and cry in some way#but i cant live react to all of it ill just be incomprehensible#but know im reading and im feeling#ask#Anyway im disabled and a shut-in (developed agoraphobia) Watch how hard i can project#but oughhhhhhh I WANNA KNOW HOW SORA FIRST MET NATSUME AND TSUMUGI NOW SO INCREDIBLY BAD#AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#BASHING MY HEAD AGAINST SOLID SURFACES
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I'm so tired
#not to come on here just to complain and feel sorry for myself especially because i know things are so much worse for so many other ppl#but as hard as i'm trying it's hard to believe things will be okay i'm trying so hard not to fall into defeatist attitudes#but fuck man. fuck. it's not even that i'm surprised or anything it's just. man#i want to curl up in a ball and just be comforted and cry and be upset but i can't do that and i have no one to do that#my worker's comp payments aren't coming through like they're supposed to and i have like ten dollars and barely any food in the apartment#my injuries aren't getting better the pain is still there even though i'm doing everything i'm supposed to#my meds aren't working but meds have NEVER worked on me and i keep hoping and praying some day i'll find one that will but i fear they won'#i have more psych testing in january but a part of me worries about doing it because if (when) i test positive for certain things it will b#on my record and considering..... the state of things i worry about what that means for me and my autonomy esp regarding anything medical#i still can't convince any doctors to take my issues that are almost CERTAINLY endometriosis seriously and again.... given the state of thi#i find it very hard to believe that will change and will in fact only get worse and i will never be able to get any kind of sterilization o#hysterectomy and if something ever ended up happening and i DID get pregnant well. it would not be good for me#i feel very alone and like i need to and must handle everything on my own but i feel like i'm about to break doing that#and then this. this. this this this this. i know it's not fair to be upset about it. like i said things are so much worse for so many other#but fuck dude. fuck man. mentally i have not been doing good recently and nothing has happened in my life to really help that recently#i want to go back to being so repressed i genuinely felt/believed i was emotionless this was not a good year for the dam to break#i told my therapist the other day that i feel like a toddler. i was so repressed and emotionless for as long as i can remember#so i never learned to deal with big ugly and overwhelming emotions. so i react as a child still learning would because i never got the#chance to learn how to manage them and FUCK MAN i feel like i'm losing it#i know it's important to do what you can and not fall into overly negative mindsets but that's not something i was good at anyways#and now it's even harder but i'm trying. fuck dude i'm trying so hard i want to be hopeful i want to do what i can#i don't want to hate everything and jump immediately to wanting to kms or destroying my whole life because what's the point#i just. holy fuck. man i need a minute to breathe and i wish i had someone physically here to hold me and tell me it's okay#but i don't have that so i'll be a big girl and sort myself out like usual and just hope i don't break yet#i'm gonna go watch anime and try and read fic to distract myself but mannnnnnnn i feel like i'm losing it#kaz rambles
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I was pretty proud of myself for getting through this day so well (first time one of our cats had to have surgery), BUT it's 4am and it's really hitting me now 🙃
#feel like I would be sobbing if my anxiety meds didn't make that.. not harder exactly just. less likely#and I also remembered that I did take lorazepam before going to bed last night specifically because I knew I'd be a mess otherwise...#but yeaaah I just wanna cry now#it's been so hard. the cat is fine. but he's got 20 fewer teeth now and it feels bad#he's in pain and he's grumpy because he doesn't understand why we did that to him and also his brother wouldn't stop hissing at him all day#because he smells wrong and that's been stupidly hard on me#like. those are my babies. they can't be mad at each other??? it scares me. it's not the way it is. it's wrong and I don't like it#also... if I'm being honest I was also quite unsettled by how different he smells so I can understand that. I don't like it but I get it#that's still your brother though you big dumb guy 😭 be nice to him he has barely any teeth left 😭😭😭#I don't liiiike this#I hope they'll get along better again tomorrow bc seriously I can't take this. it's breaking my heart#well I wasn't a mess today but now I definitely am#AND I've got a fucking doctors appointment tomorrow 😭 so I can't even stay on the couch mindlessly watching YouTube all day#life is too hard and I am a big baby and I can't handle it#personal
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No arbitrary debates about what he "should" have achieved can ever take away what Neymar means to the game. He inspired a generation to see football not just as a matter of wins and losses but as an art form. The seat next to Ronaldinho is taken. And it's the boy from Mogi das Cruzes who occupies it.
Football-mad teenagers the world over stayed up on shoddy Brazilian streams just for the boy with the Mohawk and the nasal strips. And for those who needed to sleep, the next day YouTube compilations made sure that everyone knew exactly what audacious skill he pulled off the night before.
While others left Brazil early, hellbent on proving themselves in the European game. Neymar seemed to understand more than most that it isn't really about how where you play the game that attracts an audience. It's about how you play it.
The very embodiment of Joga Bonito. His game so beautiful that the only way to combat it was through brute force. While some hold his injury record against him, watch back any of the horror tackles he used to receive routinely and it starts to make more sense. The violence that his artistry inspired ultimately became his downfall. An irony so bittersweet that it could only be devised by the football gods.
In any other era, he'd have a Ballon d'Or. But is it really such a big deal that he doesn't? A Champions League trophy, Puskás Award, Copa Libertadores, and ten league titles is a career that most can only dream of. And with Pele's record for Brazil only a goal away from being his, his importance to A Seleção Canarinha will soon be a matter of historical record. No matter what the naysayers have to say about it.
In an age when players are increasingly becoming robotic, we seem to forget that we've been graced with a genius whose talents could never be boiled down to numbers. A career that should be celebrated, not put under a microscope.
You can debate as much as you like. But don't let the discourse keep you from enjoying Neymar. For all his talents and all his faults. Because when it's over, there won't be anyone like him again.
Credit: Copa90 | Via Instagram
#because when its over there won’t be anyone like him again#The violence that his artistry inspired ultimately became his downfall#An irony so bittersweet that it could only be devised by the football gods#THIS POST#this is my 13th reason#this is the last straw#im gonna strangle myself#im gonna jump off a cliff#im just gonna walk into the ocean and let it take me#im gonna end it all the way this ended me#if dont post as much about watching matches as before it’s bc i stopped#im not gonna lie#neymars move hit me hard#like i was crying my eyes for 2 days straight#i have a bunch of hysterical posts in my drafts#but never posted bc i didn’t want to spam anyone#idk how long this apathy is gonna last#or if i can even manage watching psg with no ney#it was my club bc it was his club#but now i don’t know anymore#i just -#i had hope for him#I had such hope for him#I wanted this story end differently so badly that i was blind to the tragedy that was unfolding all this time#neymar jr#psg#fc barcelona#brazil nt#fútbol#mine
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Sorry to start complaining but its my tumblr
#my friend cut me off for being mean to a guy she didn't even know#and said she hated how i treated ppl but she literally stalked his account to find his brother and post in our gc that hes hot#and proceeded to ask if he's bisexual#i was mean to him bc he kept standing me up so i said he can hangout now or im done talking to him#she was so mad at me for it too and ended a 6 year friendship ovr it#i cant help but to be upset she left and i started subconsciously blaming her#like she didn't know my dad was gonna die etc. but i was with her 24/7 when her family member died#I WAS WATCHING MY GRANDMA WHO HAD CANCER BTW.#like she didn't care at all abt me and it's so hard to face that while not having my dad#then i made a new friend and we talked for awhile but she cut me off randomly w/out any reason#and ive been crying over it#i just feel like i am an issue and problem#I have a horrible habit of only choosing one person to talk to and then facing the repercussions of it when they leave (isolated)#and i know it's my fault but i wish ppl told me what i did wrong or what i did to make them mad/uncomfortable/sad bc i can fix my behavior#but if they just leave it shows they didn't really want to be my friend and that's ok but#all i have is my husband and it gets so boring my life shouldn't revolve around him yet it does because I'm so inept at talking
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