#but for half this country that is not acceptable
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girlactionfigure · 2 days ago
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let Anne Frank rest
NOVEMBER 11, 2024
THIS IS DISRESPECTFUL
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ANNE, MARGOT, THEIR MOTHER, AND FATHER WERE ZIONISTS
Here’s the thing: we have absolutely no way of knowing how Anne Frank would feel about today’s Israel-Hamas war, because her life was brutally cut short by the Nazis at just 15 years old. Is it possible that she would be attending pro-Palestine marches and donning keffiyehs? Sure, it’s possible. A minority of Jews do that.  
Here’s what we know for sure: in her own famous diary, Anne Frank wrote that she was interested in Zionism. Her sister, Margot Frank, was an ardent Zionist. She joined the Dutch Zionist youth club in 1941, and hoped to make aliyah (immigrate) to Mandatory Palestine, where she planned on becoming a midwife for the Yishuv (pre-state Jewish community in Palestine).
Otto Frank, the only family member to survive the war, was very, very strongly pro-Israel, particularly after the Holocaust (whereas beforehand, he was slightly more ambivalent, though never anti-Zionist). In fact, in the 1970s, Otto had a disagreement with the Anne Frank House, as he demanded that the museum’s statutes explicitly affirm Israel’s right to exist — a right much of today’s keffiyeh-wearing pro-Palestine movement doesn’t accept.
We don’t know how Anne would feel today. But we do know how most Holocaust survivors feel. Not only do most Holocaust survivors -- like most Jews -- support Israel, but 49% of today’s remaining 245,000 survivors live in Israel. It’s even possible that Anne may have moved to Israel had she survived the war; after all, Israel absorbed nearly 400,000 Holocaust survivor refugees between 1946-1952, including Anne’s childhood best friend, Hanna Goslar.
APPROPRIATION OF OUR TRAUMA, AGAIN
I’ve talked about Holocaust inversion on this account for years. I have numerous posts on it, with more coming. But perhaps I haven’t made this explicitly clear yet: Holocaust inversion -- that is, the depiction of Jews and/or Israelis as Nazis, crypto-Nazis, or “worse than the Nazis” and the Palestinians as the “true” victims of the Holocaust -- is a blatant appropriation of the Jewish people’s worst collective trauma.  
That is not to say that Palestinians don’t endure pain. Of course they do, and pain and trauma can’t exactly be quantified. But this obsession with stripping Jews of our very unique, deeply painful experience and placing it onto someone else is deeply offensive. At a certain point, it almost looks like these people have Holocaust envy, which is bizarre and frankly deeply disturbing.  
Why would you want this? For six years, the international community stood by as nearly 70% of Europe’s Jewish population was exterminated in the most industrialized genocide in human history. Countries all over the world shut their doors to Jewish refugees. The Allies refused to bomb the death camps and the railroads leading to the camps, despite the desperate pleas from the Jewish community. In 1939, there were 16.6 million Jews in the world. Today, 85 years later, we just scrape 15 million. This is not what has ever happened to Palestinians, whose population has not decreased by even half a percentage point since 1948, not even since October 7, and not even in Gaza (as there have been more births than deaths, according to Hamas and Save the Children). 
Even more infuriating? Not even did Palestinian Arab leadership collaborate with the Nazis during the Holocaust -- and in 1948 -- but public opinion polls from the time period demonstrate most Palestinian Arabs favored Nazi Germany. Enough. You don’t get to take this one from us, because your ancestors, too, were complicit during the Holocaust.
STOP IMPOSING IDENTITIES ON JEWS
As I explained in a recent post, antisemitism can arguably be divided into two categories: (1) “Nazi antisemitism,” which seeks to eliminate Jews physically, and (2) “Hanukkah antisemitism,” which seeks to strip Jews of the qualities that make us Jewish. In other words, forced assimilation.
Anne Frank was a Jewish child. She was born in Germany and later became Dutch. Never in her lifetime would she have worn a Palestinian keffiyeh, because at the time, the Palestinian keffiyeh was the official uniform of British officer Sir John Bagot Glubb’s “Desert Patrol,” comprised of Palestinian and Jordanian Arab Bedouins who were loyal to the British police force in Mandatory Palestine. Since Anne Frank was neither a Bedouin nor a member of Glubb’s Desert Patrol, putting the keffiyeh on her -- a murdered child -- is nothing but imposing an identity on her that isn’t hers.  
Maybe this sounds dramatic, or like it shouldn’t be a big deal. But this is also part of a larger pattern of Palestinians appropriating Jewish historical figures and claiming them as their own (the Jesus comes to mind).
And this is not a matter of doing this just to historical figures, but to living, breathing Jews. For example, several of the released Hamas hostages testified that Hamas threatened to forcibly convert them to Islam, much like their ancestors once did to ours when they conquered the Holy Land from the Byzantines in the 7th century.
IF YOU ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ANNE FRANK, YOU WOULD CARE ABOUT THIS
On November 7, 2024, a premeditated pogrom took place in the streets of Amsterdam -- Anne Frank’s Amsterdam.
Thousands of pro-Palestinians supporters ambushed Israeli Maccabi Tel Aviv fans as they were leaving a Maccabi Tel Aviv-AFC Ajax soccer match. Much like on October 7, the perpetrators live-streamed themselves stabbing Israelis and Jews, running over Israelis and Jews, throwing firecrackers at Israelis and Jews, and beating Israelis and Jews to a pulp, as the Amsterdam police looked the other way. They stole their phones and passports, and for some time, some of the victims were missing. Jews tried to hide in a canal, in boats, in a KFC, and more, just like the Franks hid in an attic. The perpetrators forced the victims to shout “free Palestine!” They attacked not just men, but women and children. Not all of the victims were Maccabi Tel Aviv fans, or Israelis, but all of the victims were Jews -- or perceived to be Jews.  
Of course, it wasn’t long until antisemites -- and the mainstream media -- spun the event, which, again, had not only been premeditated, but the perpetrators had dubbed “a Jew hunt” (in fact, it was so premeditated Israel had forewarned the Dutch police). They said it was simply soccer hooligans brawling, or that it happened because the day before, a few Israelis had torn down a Palestinian flag, or because some of the Maccabi fans had chanted racist chants. In this regard, they’re in terrible company: every pogrom in history has had its “justification;” sometimes the justification is based on a true event; other times, it’s pure fiction (e.g. blood libel). Kristallnacht, the pogrom that marks the beginning of the Holocaust, was excused because a Jew killed a German diplomat in Paris.
Are some Maccabi fans racist? It seems so. That’s no justification for an attempted lynching. Imagine if Jews tried to lynch pro-Palestinian protestors every time they chant antisemitic chants (“globalize the intifada,” “Khaybar, Khaybar ya Yahud,” for example), or every time an Israeli flag or hostage poster is torn down. None of us would have jobs, because this happens daily, multiple times a day, everywhere in the world.
For over a year, Dutch Jewish community leaders have warned of a hostile, dangerous environment for Jews in the Netherlands, and in Amsterdam more specifically. The Central Jewish Consultation, the official Jewish umbrella organization in the Netherlands, defined the November 7 mob attacks as a “pogrom” and tied it to the growing antisemitic climate in the country, which existed long before any Maccabi Tel Aviv fans showed up in Amsterdam.
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As usual, however, antisemites are tokenizing the words of fringe Jews whose views are not representative of the community. 
The Chief Rabbi of the Netherlands also issued a damning statement, noting the hostile, antisemitic climate in the country.
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The above is true. But this is not a one-off event. The Netherlands has been failing the Jewish community for a long, long time. These situations don’t escalate out of nowhere. Instead of offering us your apologies and condolences after the fact, take decisive action.
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For a full bibliography of my sources, please head over to my Instagram and  Patreon. 
rootsmetals
another post I started working on before November 7 that suddenly became very relevant

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jiheiendonka7 · 2 days ago
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the mischaracterization of jun wu by western tgcf fans, an epidemic
to illustrate with a metaphor, jun wu resembles the duality of a crying-smiling mask. while most western tgcf fans already seem to overlook the smiling half completely, i notice a trend of reducing even the crying half into nothing more than “unadulterated hatred toward xie lian".
this often results in takes -- such as jun wu doing xie lian favours so he can make xie lian feel indebted or bestowing symbols of xie lian’s country to provoke painful memories -- that can only be explained with an "evil for the sake of being evil" tag on jun wu, takes that don't make sense when scrutinized within the context of jun wu's purpose.
so what was this guy's grand objective, anyway? he wanted xie lian to come to his side. (and to limit the scope of this discussion, we're not even going to open the pandora's box of the smiling side -- a yearning for validation of the crown prince of wuyong's dreams. that will be a post for another time.) honing in on the crying side, jun wu wanted xie lian to become the second white-clothed calamity, to agree that the common people suck, that they aren't worth saving, and that he should just give up on his dream.
what exactly does making xie lian feel indebted to him achieve? it's not like he expects xie lian to come to his side as a form of debt repayment. if the argument is that jun wu's actions aim solely to degrade xie lian or cause him suffering, this view feels like a significant mischaracterisation. jun wu isn't the type of antagonist who torments xie lian at every opportunity simply for the sake of cruelty.
likewise, reducing jun wu’s replication of the xianle palace to a mere attempt to inflict pain oversimplifies the nuances at play. the glamorous xianle palace stands in juxtaposition to xie lian's humble puqi shrine. i argue that jun wu sought to present xie lian with a tangible vision of why his path -- the path of grandeur and power -- was superior.
curiously, mxtx's pen name means "the smell of copper coins and the fragrance of ink" because she wanted to major in literature while her mother wanted her to pick economics, for the latter secured a more prosperous career. ultimately, they agreed on the best of both worlds, "holding a pen in one hand and coins in the other", the third path.
but jun wu had suggested that xie lian become his right-hand man (when preparing to greet the rain master), and from the deal he was willing to cut yin yu, we can infer that if xie lian really came to jun wu's side, he would've helped cover all of his crimes. they would pretend as if nothing had happened, just as jun wu did all these years, hiding behind glitter and gold, masking away all the decadence beneath the surface.
the gilded palace is a reflection of such a path. it's a reminder of what could've been -- if only xie lian kept "pleasing the gods", wearing the mask, turned a blind eye to the suffering. if only xie lian had chosen jun wu's path, the one beaten by so many who came before.
but that's inauthentic. that's not who xie lian is. xie lian rejects the mask because he wants to be himself. he'd rather live in shambles than accept the riches of the heavens, than choose coins with no soul. even if there is a wall straight ahead, xie lian will walk straight into it if that's where the third path leads, because he refuses to veer left or right, to choose either one of two (that's actually where the proverb that inspired the head-smashing scene originates from, by the way).
jun wu doesn’t act out of a simple desire to witness xie lian’s suffering. seeing xie lian in pain brings him no joy. after all, bai wuxiang once hugged him. half of what jun wu does serves to draw xie lian to his side, to mould him into the perfect successor who will follow his path. that, at least, is the crying half of jun wu's intent.
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mariacallous · 1 day ago
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U.S. President-elect Donald Trump claims to have ideas for quickly settling the Russia-Ukraine. Whether or not that’s true—and there’s plenty of reason to think it’s not—it’s likely the Trump administration will soon halt its bankrolling of Ukraine’s war effort. On the campaign trail, Trump derided U.S. funding of Ukraine, which currently amounts to more than $60 billion—around half of Ukraine’s total military support from abroad—and has given every indication that he would discontinue it.
This would plunk the problem of support for Ukraine squarely in Europe’s lap. The continent is still not prepared for that reality. The fear of a Russian rout of Ukraine, however, could motivate Europe to try assuming responsibility for supporting Ukraine on its own—beginning with a recognition that ramping up its support is not beyond its ability.
The possibility of U.S. disengagement from Ukraine hasn’t caught Europe completely by surprise. Although Trump didn’t disclose specifics while on the campaign trail, he presented an outline of a plan to end the war: U.S.-led negotiations would stop Russia where it is on the battlefield, cede the territories that Russia occupies to it, and then lift international sanctions against Russia in exchange for the termination of military hostilities toward Ukraine. There would be no NATO or other Western security guarantee but rather, according to Vice President-elect J.D. Vance, a demilitarized zone along Ukraine’s new borders with defensive fortifications robust enough to prevent another Russian invasion. Most important to Trump seems to be jettisoning the U.S. financial commitment to Ukraine.
Europe’s own contribution to Ukraine’s cause so far should not be underestimated. According to the Kiel Institute for the World Economy, the European Union is the largest provider of aid to Ukraine, having allocated a total of $133 billion since Russia’s full-scale invasion. (In total, the US has shelled out nearly $91 billion in combined military, economic, and humanitarian assistance.) The EU states have come up with more than $45 billion in military aid for Ukraine’s defense, including large volumes of weaponry and munitions. The bloc’s offer of membership to Ukraine and money for reconstruction and recovery—all directed toward fulfilling membership criteria, as well as rebuilding—buttress the country’s resilience and fuel its democratic aspirations. And at home, member states are accommodating 4 million refugees and have dramatically cut their fossil energy imports from Russia.
The losses, however, should the United States really step back, would be egregious in terms of leadership, money, and weaponry. Europe’s leaders remain convinced that maintaining Ukraine’s independence and halting Russian aggression is vital to the entire continent’s security. But there’s also a recognition that Europe’s effort alone is likely not enough to hold Ukrainian lines on the battlefield, much less serve Russia a knockout blow.
Germany was never a convincing candidate for leadership on the military front, and now that Chancellor Olaf Scholz is heading up a minority coalition until new elections early next year, it will enjoy even less clout. In France, even though President Emmanuel Macron has aspired to leadership—and obviously understands what is at stake for Europe—he is politically weak and facing tough elections soon, too. And the United Kingdom’s new prime minister, Keir Starmer, is fresh in office and already engulfed in struggles.
Thus, the task could fall on the shoulders of European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen and her foreign policy chief, Kaja Kallas, if they accept it. Even though she doesn’t command a single battalion, von der Leyen has already shown what she can do as point person when the occasion demands it: When the COVID-19 pandemic broke out in Europe in 2020, she organized the EU-wide response like a seasoned field marshal, and then immediately on its heels, the quick pivot of Europe’s energy imports away from Russia. Simultaneously, the EU wasted no time imposing sanctions on Russia. And though only by a hair’s breadth, the EU recently outbattled Russian President Vladimir Putin in Moldova, where it helped fend off an onslaught of Russian disinformation, thus helping to reelect a liberal-minded president who is committed to democracy.
If the United States really bows out of the Russia-Ukraine war, however, von der Leyen is going to have to assume an even greater burden—leading a truly global military effort. The EU has allies beyond the bloc in countries like the UK, Japan, Australia, Canada, South Korea—all of which are pitching in for Ukraine but require a point person to look toward and to coordinate their support. This war was internationalized long before Russia put 10,000 North Korean troops on the ground, and the maintenance of a global pro-Ukraine front is vital to success.
Von der Leyen’s first hurdle, though, will be rallying the entire EU to the cause, and two members—Hungary and Slovakia—are pushing Trump-like “solutions.” Moreover, Russian-friendly populists are surging just about everywhere in the bloc.
At the recent European Political Community summit in Budapest, von der Leyen and Europe’s other top officials seemed to grasp the urgency of the task at hand but stopped short of offering specific plans for a way forward. “It is in all our interests that the autocrats of this world get a very clear message that there is not the right of might, that the rule of law is important,” von der Leyen said.
One thing appears absolutely certain: Europe will have to dig much deeper into its pockets. This means domestic politicos have to make the case to their populations much more bluntly: This war is about Europe, and Ukraine’s defeat would throw into jeopardy much of what decades of integration has accomplished—and cost their countries dearly in many ways.
EU leaders have already begun shifting monies to defense-related priorities.  Nearly a third of the bloc’s common budget, over $400 billion for 2021 to 2027, is allotted to cohesion funding, namely for the reduction of economic inequality between members. But, according to the Financial Times, nearly 95 percent of this budget goes untapped. This spending cannot go toward traditional military hardware but it can buy “dual-use products,” such as drones, global positioning satellites, night vision technology, thermal imaging, and some lasers. Germany, for instance, which is a transportation nexus for western Europe’s shipping for military goods to Ukraine, could call on its more than $40 billion in cohesion funds to repair its badly aged roads, bridges and trains.
A first step will have to involve pushing the third of NATO members who don’t even bankroll the alliance with the stated goal of committing 2 percent of their output to military spending. But maintaining Ukraine’s war effort will demand far more than that.
A proposal by Estonia, made before the U.S. election, deserves serious consideration. It calls for all NATO members anteing up at least 0.25 percent of their GDP for Ukraine’s defense, as the Baltic states already do. That would net   for ensuring Ukraine can still purchase weapons to check Russia. The EU could also consider pursuing raising funds in this way on its own, outside of NATO.
Whether these armaments come from the production facilities of European or foreign arms-makers is beside the point. Europeans’ procurement of weaponry is already happening beyond Europe’s own defense industries. The Czech Republic, head of a multinational arms-buying initiative, tapped markets in a number of non-EU countries to supply Ukraine’s armed forces with 800,000 million artillery shells.
Denmark is trailblazing direct investment in the Ukrainian defense industry. The Danish contribution and frozen Russian assets managed by Denmark on behalf of the EU pay the Ukrainian defense industry $600 million to produce attack drones, artillery, anti-tank weapons, missiles, and naval missiles. Belgium is also working in this direction, with the idea being that every euro buys armaments (more cheaply than on the international market) and establishes a more sophisticated defense industry in Ukraine itself.
The European Council on Foreign Relations (ECFR) recommends the creation of a law similar to the U.S. Defense Production Act, which grants the U.S. president powers to bolster the nation’s defense by fast-tracking the production of materials and services. It would, according to ECFR, “provide European policymakers with the tools to use the collective power of EU institutions, member-state governments, and European development banks to respond faster and more effectively to crises.” This would allow Europe to more efficiently use any additional money it commits to Ukraine, accelerating production of defensive armaments such as artillery shells and air-defense missiles, as well as medical supplies. The key would be for Europeans to do all this as one unit—not 27 separate states.
One key item that Europeans will not provide is the advanced surveillance and reconnaissance technology that the United States excels in. “All precision weapons systems today depend on this technology and no industry does it like the [United States],” said Christian Mölling, deputy director of the German Council on Foreign Relations.
Certainly, part of the European strategy must be to talk sense to Trump. A scenario to avoid at all costs would be the United States canceling sanctions or just ignoring them in return for nothing but Russian business. Europeans might point out to Trump that Russia’s two main allies are Iran and North Korea, countries that he disfavors. And perhaps, if the United States can’t be convinced with political arguments, they can find a way to interest Trump in the form of a bargain: The Europeans could agree to spend big specifically on U.S. weapons in exchange for Washington holding the Western line on Russia. The Carnegie Endowment for International Peace suggested Europe’s NATO members offer Trump the carrot that they raise defense spending to 3 percent by the end of his tenure in 2028.
Whatever happens, even in best case, it is highly unlikely that Trump will lead an alliance against Russia the way the Biden administration did. This means that Europe’s hour has arrived: It can grab the initiative and set the agenda rather than allowing the Orbans, Putins, and Xis of the world to do it their way.
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qqueenofhades · 1 year ago
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people who say “the democrats should just focus on economics/policy” *glares at every centrist in my life who’s upset at the Democrats for being too “woke” and “allowing” Republicans to win* need to realize that statistically a lot of Dem policies are liked by about 2/3 of the country. Universal healthcare, free college, abortion, and helping undocumented immigrants gain citizenship for a few examples are supported by the majority of Americans. A refusal to vote blue is not about policy at all. Never has been.
it's the raaaaaaaaaacism
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filloas-e-blini · 10 days ago
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All Americans acting like this is just
The Worstℱ
and the end of the world and "we all lost TODAY" and "I'm so shaken I gotta substance abuse and forget about the world pray for us" and "this SURE is stress awareness week amiright" while. Palestinian people have been living in literal hell not just for a whole year of continuous bombing, kidnapping and torture. But 76 years in a row. And not even to mention the rest of the horrors worldwide caused and funded by USA. Are you out of your mind
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illgiveyouahint · 9 months ago
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2 years since the full scale invasion. 10 years of war. We stand with you, Ukraine
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yesterdayiwrote · 2 years ago
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Just to keep the same energy going for everywhere, the ILGA have just released their Rainbow Map for Europe, which tracks LGBTQ+ rights in all European countries and it’s not great reading for F1 host countries there either

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Obviously last year there was a lot of discussion about Hungary, and Seb famously made a statement against their anti LGBTQ laws, however Azerbaijan is ranked as the worst in Europe, and both Monaco and Italy are deemed to have worse human rights records for LGBTQ+ folk
 something to bear in mind over the next two race weekends at least

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seraphim-soulmate · 7 months ago
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how much mold is considered a mold problem in your bedroom also can mold make your heart rate fucked up thanks. Aoh also the wall which has the mold literally falls apart if I touch it so. Not really sure how to get rid of it also I assume there's more mold on the other side of the wall??? idk I think every couple of months I discover mold somewhere and panic and then clean it and forget about it.
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girlactionfigure · 13 hours ago
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Druze and Judaism, a thread đŸ§”(remastered)
đŸŸ„The Druze venerate many Jewish figures as sages, including Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Reuben, Benjamin, David, Elijah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Daniel... Solomon and Jethro are highlighted as manifestations of the Universal Mind.
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đŸŸ„ The Hexagram or six pointed star is very significant to Druze as well, and is often portrayed in books of Exegesis. It is understood as the Seal of Solomon, but also for its pre-Judaic ancient symbolism, as a symbol of the Union of Opposites.
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đŸŸ„Druze shrines in Carmel and Galilee echo the ancient Jewish shrine tradition, i.e. natural stone mound. Some are architecturally Jewish tombs, with descending staircases into caves.  A Sheikh's striped cloak and the multicolored flag are said to resemble the coat of Joseph.
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đŸŸ„Esoteric Judaism, or Kabballah, is most similar to Druze esotericism. Especially in its Neoplatonism, Gematria, Belief in Reincarnation(gilgul), Ein Sof. The Hasidic sect also stresses on Ascetism. Their highest soul Yechidah is akin to Tawheed. Batin Al Batin, their Chassidut.
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đŸŸ„Druze and Jews have lived relatively harmoniously with circumstantial conflicts like the Safed Rebellion being exceptions.  Jews in Druze areas were among the nobles in Prince Fakhreddin's entourage. Their Synagogues thrived in Bhamdoun and Aleyh without persecution.
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đŸŸ„ Jewish communities in Deir al Qamar and Barouk were also rich land owners.  The "blood bond" between Jews and Druze of Israel is one of the strongest the Druze have done with any another sect. Has been strong for 80 years. Agreed to regardless if one is Zionist or not.
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đŸŸ„ Druze Sheikh Daoud Bessis who was imprisoned with the British Army while fighting the Nazis and sent to Germany, would smuggle food to Jewish prisoners during the Holocaust with his fellow Druze Prisoners.
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đŸŸ„ During the recent Anti-Jewish pogroms in Amsterdam. A Druze man tried his best to save the Jews and conceal them from their pursuers. Highlighting the willingness of both communities to protect each other.
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đŸŸ„ Druze have no occupied territory in Israel, or any encroached on Holy Land or Site. Therefore enmity to the Jews is not justified except on Islamist grounds or leftist brainwashing. Israeli Druze are much better off socially and economically than their peers in Arab countries
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đŸŸ„ Druze ultimately derive their idea of the Messiah from the Jews and also the Messianic Era. Psalm 37's "The meek will inherit the Earth". Therefore they've avoided belief in Heaven and Hell and Rapture, and taken a reward/punishment in this realm approach, similar to Jews.
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đŸŸ„ Druze Founder Imam Hamza Ibn Ali, had written in the Epistle to the Israelites, that 2 and a half of the 12 Jewish tribes(Asbat Al Haq) had accepted the Druze faith. This explains the genetic similarity, as Druze tend to cluster next to Ashkenazi and Persian/Kurdish Jews.
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đŸŸ„ The Return of the Jews is foretold in Druze Scripture as one of the first signs of the end times. Druze 15th century scholar Al Amir Al Sayyed Al Tanukhi expounds that ownership would return to the children of Israel. Thus the creation of Israel lies within Druze Prophecy.
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đŸŸ„ In the Druze description of Judgment Day in the Epistles of Wisdom, it is said the Druze Five Bound Army will be joined by the lost tribes of Israel. The named tribes are the "Pure of Al Benjamin and Al Naphtali". 
đŸŸ„ Druze grievances with the State of Israel are bureaucratic, such as the Kaminitz law in civil development, or the nation state law which lacks a Druze exception. Which we hope are settled. Unlike with other central states, like Lebanon & Syria where grievances are existential.
đŸŸ„ The current violent tapestry of the Middle East presents Druze and Jews as natural allies. With Political Armed Islam being the common enemy of both. To come out of manufactured Arabist identity, is to embrace the tribal nature of the Middle East. And the need to save oneself
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Druze Founder Baha'ldeen Al Muqtana** 
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kimmkitsuragi · 10 months ago
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bruh just got accepted by a university in the netherlands 💀💀 they say they will inform about scholarship until may the latest but that's kind of a dealbreaker for me so.... kinda awks
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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uninstalled all the dating apps which ws like 8nof them . in the morning ill tell the guys i was talking to that i overestimared how ready i was and hopefully theyll understand andnjust drop it
#i dont feel stable enough for like . any relationship platonic or romantic andnit fucking..rly sucks bc i want to have friends but like#with what happened with daj the other day im like. i dont think i can be like . idk. ik daj said it was ok and she understood but im so#upset that i lashed iut abt that and i keep trying to get into therapy but i fucking..cant find one. at all#im trying to be more reasonable witj mymoney and i know like. i need therapy bc i Need to work this out and i am not able to work it out#with myself. i need to see a professional abt this . so ik it wouldnt be frivolous to spend money on a therapist if i cant find one in#network. bc the in network thrapists dont accept/dont specialize in working with patients with bpd which i like. thats..my issue. im almost#posiitive. ive done a lot of research and it matches up with like . all of my experiences#ik everybody feels unstable after a breakup buti genuinely like. i dont feel whole. and im looking back on how i treated myself and thiught#abt the relationship and its like. i stopped talking to all my friends i stopped talking to my family i literally dropped out of school i#moved across the country i dropped any interest that we didnt share i literally like. i gave up fucking everything and thats not. healthy.#and he never aksed me for that and its not fair of me to resent him for me doing that bc he nevrr asked me to#but i feel like. everytime i think abt him it feels like im being torn in half like . i put him on so incredibly high of a pedestal i#literally thought of him as perfect that was..recurring. and when i was upset with him i took it out on myself horrifically and thats not#normal . and jow thinking abt him literally physucally hurts bc theres still that part of me that thinks hes perfect and that im a mistake#and a failure and i didnt Be connor right. and then theres a part of me that . doesnt think of him that way#and its just like. aughhf. even outside that relationship im looking back on past friendships and how like..obsessive i get with them#and then when they 'betray' me i just. immediately turn on them and like. thats not normal..#and my sense of identity is um. Well you guys have seen. you know.#ive looked into it a lot and i rly think i have it and im not like. 100% positive but i feel like even if i dont itd be good to work with a#therapist who Has experience with that. since the experience is so similar. yk. idk#i just feel insane and i feel like bod would make like. so much of my life and the way i act and the way i react to things like..it makes#sense when i look at it as if i have bpd. and if i dont it literally seems completely irrational and erratic like. IDK. so basically i need#a therapist who can work with that but none of the ones in network specialize in that and then i was researching and found out a lot of#therapists specifically Dont work with bpd patients and like. judge their peers who do for woriing with bod#which is 1. Actually disgusting 2. Straight up stupid 3. Terrifying. so i only want to work with a therapist whi explicitely says I#specialize and work with patients with bpd 👍 but i literally could only find 1 and theyre out of network and its 15p for visit and id#prefer to do weekly visits if possible but thats . 300 per paycheck for therapy . biweekly itd be better but thats still 150. and i have to#save up for the trip home and then the new apartment immediately after#and i have to get credit card .#and in an ideal world id hold off on the therapist until i get my new apartment so that i can fully focus on coping with myself and learnin
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itstimeforstarwars · 1 year ago
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Enraged that I am going to have to change my insurance this year because I like my dentist but of course he doesn’t take my new insurance.
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anaalnathrakhs · 2 years ago
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“work meeting” this evening wish me luck i want to run away and die
#once again oh boy do i regret sorta-accepting this#because yeah it was a light at the end of the tunnel back when i had no career prospect at all#but now that i'm actually on track to actually have that damn high school diploma#and i have roughly two years of leeway and the proper infrastructure to build myself a career project#i'm... not happy about it#the boss is passing the company along because he's too overworked to do anything with it#which makes it so the formation i receive is ''to work with me you gotta be independant'' and jack shit#i'm already mostly overwhelmed by living my life as normal#i don't need a fucking company to run to add on top of that#i guess i should ask for a ''day in the life'' type of explanation but it's so difficult to get a hold of him#and he's... i don't know if it's my fault for not being assertive enough or if he's genuinely abrasive#but he's not very easy to ask questions to#cf ''you gotta be independant to work with me'' quoted abive#and i don't even WORK there holy fuck i don't!!#i'm just a convenient young person who isn't gonna retire/die in five to twenty years who can perpetuate the company or smth#like i get a small publishing house isn't a business that's running all working day long in a big warehouse that you can observe#but all the things HE does which are the thing that will be MY responsability are done half the fucking country away from me#we have a zoom meeting every three months#that's straight up not enough i am wholly unprepared for this job#can't wait to legally own the parts next tax year đŸ€Ș#broadcasting my misery#vent
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clockworkcrow · 7 months ago
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thinking about harvey stardew valley and being a rural country doctor with a caseload like:
guy who won’t accept any diagnosis except “you have consumption and need to go to the seaside for your health”
woman who asks what gemstone he would prescribe for her UTI
guy who spends half the day trying to give himself a concussion and the other half trying to blow out his hearing on his guitar
two people who have struggled with alcoholism for years but reject all of his resources for it UNTIL someone gifts them alcohol biweekly for a year straight and suddenly their lives turn around
guy who will not stop mailing people bombs but in a friendly way and like this just isn’t on the PTSD screener??
guy who won’t stop asking him vague but increasingly bizarre questions about the safety of truffle oil
woman who EATS ROCKS
and also there’s a fucking wizard. what’s up with that. how often do you think the man goes ïżœïżœwhy did i get an MD why didn’t i just train to be a wizard i didn’t even know that was an option” while performing emergency surgery on this one farmer who won’t stop picking fights with ACTUAL MONSTERS
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reginaofdoctorwho · 8 days ago
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i am so terrified and there's nothing i can do about it
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fiveamandawake · 2 months ago
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sigh
#TMI warning#tags are a whole mess :/#I don't want to go on this trip anymore. the dynamics are whack out of order#and if I say anything about it it's me /not coping well/ and /being selfish/. bc we can't risk upsetting him. I know he has it hard too.#I'm not discounting that this trip will be awful in a different way for him. But at the end of the day he gets to go home and forget#forget how much idk. that's up to him ig#and we get to return to this hellhole. we had no internet today: none. god knows why. no power for 4 hours#no quality assurance: the toothpaste is rotting our teeth#no public pest control: I've got bites that we can't identify from falling into an unmarked half-finished road repair#and the fever i got from them just went away. after a week. and nobody could do anything bc antipyretics are in short supply#I don't want to play nice anymore :) bc he doesn't understand and making him understand would be mortifying#showing him how desperate his former partner's family really is. we'll need to borrow his credit card to do essential shopping#while on our so-called fun and games trip#bc we can't take much money out of the country and they don't accept IR cards there. so.#we'll be buying fucking toothpaste and underwear using his card and /paying him back/ using my aunt's money#which he holds#it's all so fucking sordid and degrading#soul-crushing#vent#.txt#idk if I should be posting this#esp to main... maybe we'll shunt it to the vent blog#esp esp bc I'm hurting and it's 3AM and I'll regret it in the morning probably#but what I wouldn't give for one person to understand it all and not turn away from me in embarrassment#what I wouldn't give to feel able to crawl out of this mess. worthy of crawling out of it. even if it was make-believe for a moment.#really bad post J. really really bad. I still want to post it.
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