#but even with that i know I missed a lot lmao
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wildfire (cs) | six.
—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 10.1k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, sorry if i missed anything i had to quickly edit in order to get this out lol, san x oc finally talk a little more abt each other - family - friends, small affectionate gestures and kisses, yes we have finally made it my friends… the sleepover where we discuss neuroscience papers!!!! lmao jk 😭 was not lying abt the true crime aspect tho (i fear i know nothing else), san also opens up a bit more about iseul, making out, neck kisses, breast play, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some clit play i guess!!, aftercare, cuddles
You decide to go to dinner with San, but the decision comes incredibly last minute. You've paced around your studio, sat on your bed for hours, going back and forth between a simple yes or no. Until, you finally realized you truly didn't wanna miss out. You felt like you'd regret it if you didn't just go to see what it'd be like.
Harmless.
Eunchae and Jurin are gone for the weekend for other family commitments, but you still find yourself having to make up some sort of scenario for the boys in case they come barging in while you're getting ready. You tell them that you're spending the afternoon with your mom and that you'll be back later tonight in case they wanna come over and hang out. Boys being boys— they don't pry much and leave it at that.
You let out a breath just after you end the call with Jiung and set your phone aside, dabbing a bit more blush onto the apples of your cheeks.
San told you to meet him at a restaurant that's very Nobu-esque, and you damn near dropped your phone when you pulled up the directions and saw pictures of the fancy interior. Even if you protested, he wouldn't let up— promising you that he'd take care of everything and that he just wanted you to have a good time with him. He asked once more if you were sure about driving, and you insist; just for the one time, to play things safe, to relieve yourself of the pressure of having to be with San in a car in case dinner doesn't pan out well [for whatever reason].
You are equally excited, nervous and terrified. Might feel a little queasy from the combo.
You run the lip gloss across your lips before pressing them together, spreading it across the surface. You check the time and pack your things into your purse, giving yourself a little bit of wiggle room for the 30-minute drive east to meet San. You check yourself in the mirror and dust yourself off, smoothing down the simple, black cami-strap dress you have on. Good thing you checked the restaurant's dress code on their website last night, or else, you might have walked into the place in something a little more casual.
Not classy. Elegant. Black and white attire only.
You run off to your car without being spotted by anybody you know. You did run into a few classmates and other familiar faces, but ones that won't even bat an eye as to why you're running across the lot in heels and a black dress. You get into your car and warm it up before turning up the heat, pulling up one of your playlists and sending San a text to let him know you're leaving campus. The drive isn't so bad when your playlist is hyping you up, along with the clear highways. You've gotta cross a bridge and pay the toll on your way back, but you don't mind; you feel a sense of relief wash over you being that you've gotten yourself this far from campus.
You knew people from campus weren't fond of coming to the east side. It tailored way too much to the wealthy, hence, San's choice for tonight's dinner.
The side streets are a little too busy in the downtown area, but you finally catch sight of the restaurant on the corner of an intersection; nestled underneath a modern, upscale 5-star hotel. When you pull into the lot, San is chatting it up with the valet. He laughs and you catch that smile of his, his dimples. He's in a black button up, and black slacks. The first two buttons of his shirt are undone, the silver chain hanging around his neck— sitting prettily across his collarbones. He points at your car and signals your arrival to the valet, the staff member immediately meeting you at the driver's side when you park in front of the booth.
"Your lady has arrived." The valet says, taking your hand in his before passing you along to San and getting into your car to park it in the lot.
"Hey beautiful." San takes your hand in his and smiles down at you adoringly. "How was the drive?"
"Good." You're barely able to maintain contact because of how shy and nervous you've become being around him. He can tell, though. He chuckles and gives your hand a gentle squeeze before reassuring you with a:
"Promise I'll take care of you tonight, okay? Don't get shy on me."
"Who said I was?"
"You can barely look me in the eye, Y/N." You look up at him and try to hold eye contact, but you shrink; subtly biting onto your lip and hiding behind him when the host greets him like he's known him forever. He walks through the restaurant, heading towards the private back patio. This section is closed off and by reservation only— your guess is that San bought out the patio for your enjoyment, to ease your nerves. And you're proven right when the host slides the back door open, and there's only one table draped in white linen in the middle of the garden. There's a candle in the middle of the table and a singular red rose on your plate, San deciding to forego the additional decorations and rose petals because he didn't wanna do too much for a first dinner. He just didn't wanna overwhelm you knowing you might already be, but he hopes you know he'd take care of you in all ways if you'd let him— the roses and candles being a glimpse into that.
"The waiter will be with you both shortly." The host does a curt bow before leaving you and San in the patio.
"Choi San." You look at and he cocks a brow, trying to prevent himself from smirking too big.
"Mhm?" He looks at you.
"Why did you buy out the whole patio?!"
"To keep you comfortable." He smiles, eyes roaming your figure and the way your dress hugs you so, so beautifully.
"San." You frown a bit. "You didn't have to spend all that just for me."
"Um, yeah. I did, sweetheart." He laughs. "I wanted to. The last thing I wanted was for you to worry tonight." You slowly sit in the high chair in front of him, taking the singular rose to your nose before smiling shyly at him.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." His hands are clasped together, elbows resting on the table— his piercing eyes bore into you. "How was your day?"
"It was good. I didn't do much besides get ready for the evening. Had to tell the boys I was running off for the evening like Eunchae and Jurin." San nods and sips his water.
"Sorry love."
"For what?"
"For having you lie to your friends."
"They don't care much." You wave it off with a giggle. "How was your day?"
"Well, I was gonna hang out at Jongho's but someone told me they wanted to go to dinner last minute."
"Wonder who that could be?" You tease and he laughs a bit.
"Yeah, right? She's lucky she's cute." He teases back and the heat rises to your cheeks.
"Didn't mean to impose on your plans with the other Professor Choi."
"Never. I see him all the time, he won't mind if I leave him behind for an evening." You laugh.
"Touché." At this point, the waiter comes and sets down some complimentary edamame before taking orders. You decline any alcohol solely because of your drive home, and San follows suit. He proceeds to order the food for tonight after remembering you didn't have any specific allergies, giving him free range to order things he enjoys, but also knows you'd love.
Wagyu.
Chef's choice omakase.
Other choices of nigiri, like toro.
Uni tempura.
Squid pasta with garlic sauce.
Chilean seabass with dry miso.
It all comes out of San's mouth like the price tag is nonexistent, and you're internally screaming. How could he be so damn charming and suave? Let alone, this is how he spoils you for the first dinner?
"That's all." San smiles toothlessly before handing over the menus to the waiter. He licks his lips and shifts in his position as if he didn't just order a line of the most expensive items on the menu.
"San, this is gonna be so expensive. I can't accept this. Please let me at least pay for half."
"Uh, no. What did I tell you, Y/N? I'd take care of you tonight. I meant it. Just enjoy yourself for me." You sigh and tilt your head before playfully rolling your eyes.
"I can't with you."
"Yes, you can." He chuckles. "So, tell me."
"Hm?" You hum.
"About you."
"What about me?"
"I wanna know everything and anything about you." He gives you that look. "I wanna know what Miss Y/N is about outside of her CV." You snort at the comment, the reality of you being San's rotation student almost hitting you dead in the face until you decide to brush it off completely.
"Well, I'm the only child?" You say in a questioning tone, unsure of where to start. But, the conversation eventually flows on its own. You tell San about your mom being a single mom and how it's always been you two from the very beginning. You don't know much about your dad, but you don't mind talking about it if asked. It's not necessarily a sensitive or heavy topic for you; it's just unfortunate that you don't have anything to add simply because you don't know him. You have family nearby, but your family is small. You don't have cousins you're close to, your relatives are mostly middle-aged, older. Your grandparents were around up until you were in high school, then they both died from illnesses that got to the best of them.
Then, that was that.
You and your mom— mostly you, doing things for your own and on your own while your mom continued to work tirelessly at the hospital to keep food on the table. Rent. Necessities. You worked a few jobs throughout school to help as much as possible, but your mom always told you to put your studies first and to never force yourself if your body was too tired, too overwhelmed. It felt hard for awhile because your mom was barely around. When she was, she was tired. You felt distant, almost like you couldn't be close to your mom regardless of how hard you tried. You didn't think you'd be able to build a better relationship with her until you moved away for college. When you finally had your own space and the distance in between, your relationship blossomed and she became your bestfriend. Then, you tell San how you feel the utmost pressure to make her proud because you're the only child, the only person she can rely on in the future. The only person who can also truly disappoint her, which you don't want.
Though, you feel like you've already started wandering down that path.
You're slightly interrupted when the waiter comes to bring in half of the order, starting with the nigiri and chef's choice, setting it down in the middle of the table. You both thank him before he says he'll be right back with the rest, San giving you the priority and freedom to choose whichever you want to eat. When you start to dig in, you continue to tell San about your friends and how Jiung's been your longest friend since high school. Otherwise, there haven't been too many people you could call your close friends. You knew people, you socialized, but you weren't one to toss the 'close/good friend' term around unless you felt a genuine, real connection with someone. You do feel like you could say that for Felix, Eunchae and Jurin even though it hasn't been long since you've known them; you've clicked with them easily and well. You're grateful for it.
The conversation switches to San's point of view now, and he begins with his family dynamics. He relates to the pressure of making his parents happy as the only child, but he likes to think he's done well for himself so far. He talks about school and how brutal it was for him and his friends— San had a great mentor, but it was hours and hours of clocking in with no endpoint. Days and days of just hustling to finish and make sure he was producing amazing work. You reassure him by telling him you think it's all paid off, adding a little dash of seasoning with your 'or else we wouldn't be here, right?' playful teasing. He touches up on Jongho and their longtime friendship, followed by Mingi, Yeosang, Christopher, and now, Namjoon. He does talk about how him and Yunho used to be bestfriends, inseparable even, but he doesn't go into the details of what went down between him and Iseul.
You won't press him. You'll let him come to you when he's ready to open up about it. Even though San acts like he's fine and he's moved on [he has], you can only imagine how it feels to replay the entire situation in your head, with the two people you trusted and adored more than anything.
"So, yeah. Namjoon and I got close because he was really there for me throughout a lot of the stuff that's happened. Even just down to minuscule things for the lab, my classes— anything. He's always been there for us no matter how busy he is."
"That's good. I can tell Namjoon really cares about you guys and the students."
"He's a good guy. His wife is lucky." You laugh.
"Do you see your parents often?" You watch as San puts another helping of the pasta and fish on your plate.
"From time to time, yeah, when they're around. My dad still travels a lot for business. Even though he stopped teaching, he's on a few boards as a consultant and agrees to talk for conferences or symposiums all the time. Mom's retired so she joins along. What about you?"
"I try to see her when I can. She's worked as a nurse at this hospital all her life, basically." He nods. "So, do you and the guys all live near each other?"
"Uh, sorta? Namjoon lives a bit further down south, but Mingi, Yeosang, Chris and Jongho live in close proximity."
"When you're not at work, do you just hang out with each other?"
"For the most part. We're not always together, though. We like having our own space." He laughs. "Mingi used to pop up randomly and I had to tell him to stop doing it so often."
"Aw, he just wants your company. Don't be mean."
"I'm not mean! I just like to have my peace. Mingi is everything but peace." You laugh.
"Your home must be nice for him to be barging in like that."
"It is. I take pride in it now, not gonna lie." He sips his water, eyes gazing at you from over the rim of his glass. "You know, you're always welcome at my place." You look at him and slowly nod, trying to let the statement sink in. None of it feels weird to you; in fact, it makes you more curious to know about San's personal life. His home. What it'd be like to be in his space, alone.
"I'll keep that in mind. Might have to take you up on that one day." He smirks a bit.
"Yeah? That's kinda nice to hear. Lets me know I didn't entirely blow this." You giggle.
"Not at all." He sits back in his chair, content and satisfied from tonight's meal. He sees that you've finished everything on your plate, your attention now on the garden to your left while you sip on your water. He can't even deny how attracted he is to you, and how he has this indescribable pull to you. You're beautiful, and from your interactions, the way you speak and carry yourself, the passion behind your work, the way you care about your friends and mom— you've got a good, comforting soul that could balance his own. Almost like Yin and Yang, Tui and La. "What?" You ask him all innocently and he's struggling. He can't even help the huge smile that grows on his face when he looks at you.
"Nothing." He runs his finger across his bottom lip. "You're just.. so beautiful."
"Thank you, San." You respond softly and he feels his heart melt. The waiter comes back with the check, in which San is quick to hand over his card before you can even get your hands on it. You give him a look and he laughs, shaking his head after playfully reminding you that he'd take care of you.
"Any plans for the rest of the weekend, or next week?"
"Not really. I'll probably hang out with the boys while the girls are gone. Next week, I've got a lot of behavior to run for Sunwoo, things to prep for the class I'm TAing for." He nods.
"Always working so hard."
"Uh, yeah. Especially for you." You poke fun at him and laugh. "What about you?"
"Mm, I have to actually start prepping for the symposium because it's coming up."
"Do you have your talk ready to go?"
"Nah." He shrugs. "But, I will."
"Do you still get nervous for talks?"
"Oh yeah, absolutely."
"You look so natural when you're doing it, though. I wouldn't have expected it."
"I do. I get pretty nervous. Not as bad as before, I'm able to shake it off better now." He lets out a breath, the both of you popping the little coffee candy that came with the check.
"How bad was it before?"
"Hm." He hums and thinks about it for a second. "Right before my first lecture for the big neuroscience association conference, I almost threw up. I was so nauseated, was dry-heaving for a good minute before I could get myself together."
"What? I would have never guessed."
"Took a lot to get used to it. Still getting used to it." He smiles brightly. "But, I'm glad you think so. At least I'm doing something right." He looks at the date on his phone. "Speaking of the neuroscience association conference, the next one is coming up. Did you and your friends register to go?"
"Me, Jiung and a few others, yeah. Felix, Eunchae, Jurin and everyone else is just going to go on the trip cause they know that's where everyone will be at."
"Can't disagree, it'll be party central for the neuroscience community." You laugh.
"Can't wait to experience it." You look at him. "Will you be busy during the entire duration of the conference?"
"Mm, yeah. I've got a few other commitments and meetings. Lots of colleagues I haven't seen in awhile will be there, so I'll be catching up with them. There's also another smaller conference nearby that I'll be speaking at upstate before I head back down for the main one."
"Busy you."
"Maybe. I'll always have time for you, though." He winks and you laugh it off. At this point, San stands and stretches before reaching out his hand for you to grab. "Ready to go?"
"I am." You take his hand and stand in front, letting San pull you flush against his body; hands resting on the small of your back.
"Is it okay if I kiss you?" His hand comes up to cup your cheek, thumb caressing the surface. Eyes examining your features closely. "Kinda wanna re-do the first kiss. Wanna do it right this time." You bite your lip and nod, eyes locked onto his lips as he leans forward. His lips meet you in a soft, tender kiss— one that isn't rushed, one that releases all your feelings into the universe, the galaxies. One that feels so natural, so meant to be.
One that gives you butterflies,
One that also unravels Pandora's box.
He holds the kiss for longer than expected, letting his lips mold into yours delicately. When he pulls away, he quickly reattaches his lips to yours; indulging in small sweet, repeated kisses before he kisses your forehead. He pulls back completely to look at you again, and he's admiring every inch of you from underneath the moon. You watch his jaw slightly tick, Adam's apple bob up and down; eyes full of desire. Need. Encompassing you, all of you.
"Hope you enjoyed dinner."
"I did, San. Thank you, again."
"No, thank you for joining me." He flashes you a cute, toothless smile before lacing his hand with yours. "Shall we? Do you want dessert or something?"
"I'm good, I'm stuffed. The food was so good." You pat your tummy as the both of you walk out of the restaurant and head towards valet, thanking the staff on your way out.
"Yeah, it was. Glad you're satisfied and happy." He presses a kiss to the surface of your hand just before greeting the valet. He runs to bring over your car first, parking it off to the side by the entrance to the lot to give you and San some time to say goodbye. San pops the driver's door open, allowing you to slide in while he hangs by the door.
"Thank you again for tonight." You buckle your seat belt and look at him.
"Course. Drive safely, okay? Text me when you get home please."
"I will."
"Good." He smirks before dipping down to give you another kiss on the lips. He shuts the door and gives you one last wave before walking towards his own car and letting you drive off.
The butterflies that man gives you is insane.
You can't even help but smile widely during the drive home, recounting each moment of the night and how you've quickly grown comfortable with San as a person. He's easy to talk to, easy to get along with.
Easy to be attracted to. Easy to be charmed by.
Easy to love.
You see it. You see why people love him and adore him, you see the bright aura he has. You see why people respect him.
You see yourself and him.
And the thought never leaves your mind once after that. You want San, just as he with you.
You head home alone that night, and the idea about being alone with San more— off campus, anywhere but there— becomes more and more enticing. It doesn't leave you for a few days, even while San is trying to give you the space to take things slowly. He's never pressured you into moving at a pace you didn't like, always gently touching you but never doing anything that would make you overwhelmed. Not only does he know you two have to be careful, but most importantly, he knows all of this is a lot. In general.
So, he sticks to the cute texts and phone calls.
Quick mini-meetings in his office in between commitments, especially during the rare moment of an empty basement. Quick hello's in said office that result in chaste kisses and you darting out before anyone can think twice about why you've been in Professor Choi's office twice [or thrice] in one day.
You do want to be alone with him more, though. You want to see what possibilities lie behind closed doors, the ways you both could show each other your feelings. You want to see where else this could take you two, how it could continue to grow. Where things could head once you two are alone in a space together, with no background noise. No outsiders.
you: are you in your office?
san: sure am!
"San?" You poke your head into his office before sliding in and locking the door. The basement was incredibly [and unusually] empty for a weekday, San's office door and the walls the only thing separating you two from each other.
"Hey." He smiles from his desk, immediately pushing his chair back so he can stand and pull you close. "Wasn't expecting a visit from you right now."
"Sorry." You pout a bit and he shakes his head before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "I should've asked if you were free first."
"Mm, well." He hums. "I've always got time for you, remember?" You giggle. "Is everything okay?"
"Kinda?"
"Kinda? What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He sits back on the edge of his desk, hand pulling you towards him and slotting you in between his legs.
"I wanted to ask you something."
"Mhm?" He says in a sing-song tone, curious about what you surprisingly popped in for.
"Can I come over?" His eyes widen a bit; not because he doesn't want you to, no. But because he's been dying to have you over. He's just been waiting until you seemed more ready to take that step.
"Tonight?" You nod, playing with his hands. "Of course you can." He pulls his hands away just to rest them behind your back. "Sure you wanna?"
"I do." He chuckles.
"I'll pick you up this time? Down the street from your building."
"Okay."
"Is that all that's been bothering you?"
"I just wasn't sure how to ask without seeming too eager, or desperate, or—"
"Hey." He laughs a bit, brushing your hair away from your face. "Never that. I've been wanting you over, but I wanted to wait until you seemed more comfortable." You relax in his hold and sink into his touch more, fingers threading through the ends of his hair.
"I wanna stay." You boldly let out, causing San to smile.
"You can stay. Whatever you want. Have more than enough room for you, sweetheart." He leans forward to meet you in a sweet, simple peck. "What time do you want me to come get you?"
"I should finish a few things before leaving."
"Just text me then, hm? I'll come whenever you're ready."
"Okay." You look at him before smirking. "That's all I wanted to talk about, Professor Choi." He chuckles, giving your side a good squeeze while biting his bottom lip.
"You're gonna be the death of me."
"Likewise." You playfully tap his nose before planting a kiss on his lips. "I'll text you later."
"Leaving already?" He pouts as you slowly pry yourself off of him because you're in his office. On campus grounds. You have to, even if you don't want to.
"I gotta get back to work, just like you do." You give him a look before waving by the door. "See you later."
"Mhm." He responds in a sing-song tone, crossing his arms tightly against his chest while he watches you walk out.
The butterflies you give him are insane.
After another long ass day of work and classes, you quickly grab dinner with your friends before rushing off to finish the rest of your assignments. You hop in a long, hot steamy shower— exfoliating and moisturizing like crazy. You strut around in your towel, throwing your toiletries into a huge bag, along with some clothes just in case.
You can never go wrong with an emergency set of clothes and toiletries, right?
You send San a text to let him know you're about to be ready and throw on a lazy fit, feeling comfortable enough to not have to dress up for him during an occasion like this. It's a set of black wide-legged sweats and a cropped half-zip sweater, slipping into your platform Uggs for extra comfort. You step through your little cloud of perfume before grabbing your bag and heading out.
Ring, ring.
"Hey." You pick up the call, your eyes quickly scanning your surroundings. There isn't anyone in close proximity, but you still feel like someone might've caught onto the phone call coming through. Like someone could be listening, could be nearby, could be onto you.
"Where are you? I'm right outside the lot, leading into the residential street."
"I'm on my way. Someone might see you!"
"Y/N, I promise. No one's out here. This part of the street is pretty dead."
"Okay, but people coming in and out of the buildings?"
"I promise you it's fine and out of view. Hurry. I miss you." You roll your eyes when you hear the slight whine in his tone.
"Choi San, I swear." You mutter his name so lowly, paranoid of someone accidentally hearing you call your professor's name on the phone in passing.
"Mm, when you say my name like that, though." He wears a shit-eating smirk underneath the black mask he's wearing. Truthfully, he does look a little suspect hanging out in his car off to the side of the lot in a hat and black mask. He uses his second car, a Porsche Taycan, that he doesn't really take to campus— usually drives it when he wants to go for a drive down the highway by himself late at night, or when it's time to kick it with the boys. He's certain none of them are lingering around campus since they're always so quick to book it after their last meetings or classes. It's the best way he could conceal himself right now, he thinks.
It's all good.
"I'm coming out the side door. I'll be there in a second." You hastily hang up and tuck your phone in, feeling some kind of relief that you're almost at the stairs that'll lead you to the side—
"Yo!" Felix calls out with Jiung next to him. "Where are you going? We were just coming to bother you." He furrows his brows, eyes shifting to the huge tote bag you're carrying.
"I.. need to go to the lab."
"The lab? Now?" Jiung tilts his head. They're a little confused, but they're also not entirely surprised— people were in and out of the labs doing work at all times of the day. Some were night owls and preferred doing work late nights to avoid fighting over equipment and space during the day. It wasn't uncommon.
What is confusing is your large ass bag, though. For what?
"Yeah, I gotta check on one of the mice. The vet said they looked sick." Jiung and Felix nod as they take the lie. Again.
"Why are you bringing a big ass bag, though? Are you hauling the mice away or something?" Felix snorts.
"No, I have some supplies in here that I'm bringing over. We're building new behavior arenas now that the foundation of the rig is done." Felix shrugs.
"Oh, okay. Do you need us to walk you?"
"No!" You respond a bit too quickly that they're back to giving you weird, confused looks. "No— Sorry." You smile. "I'll be fine. I think Sunwoo has been there anyway. Thank you, though."
"Mm, okay then." Jiung shrugs. "Just let us know if you need us to come get you?" He pops another apple slice in his mouth.
"I will." You wave as you walk through the door and head down the steps in a hurry.
"Was Y/N being a little weird or..?" Felix asks, but Jiung shrugs.
"Eh, she's probably a little overwhelmed or something." He turns down the hall. "Let's just go see what Eunchae is doing."
You finally dart out the side door, doing a light jog over the grassy area and taking a shortcut towards the street that leads into the residential area from your building. You see San parked behind another car near the first house on the street, and San can see you making your way over through the rearview mirror. He smiles to himself when you near the car, pulling on the door handle to slide into the passenger's seat. His car smells like a mix of his air freshener, along with a hint of his cologne that you've slowly become obsessed with.
"Hey beautiful." He leans over the middle console and pulls down his mask. He puckers up his lips and it makes you giggle just as you lean in to give him what he wants. He doesn't pull back right away, no. Instead, he deepens the kiss and slips some tongue in, a shaky exhale released in between as his hand comes up to caress your cheek.
"Maybe we should leave."
"Mhm." San teases as he continues to kiss you, smirking into the kiss.
"San."
"Just one more." He chuckles before dipping forward and kissing you passionately again. You bite onto your bottom lip when he finally sits back in the driver's seat and rests his head against the headrest, admiring how cute you look in your leggings and hoodie. "You're cute."
"Stop." You giggle and shake your head. "Drive before someone sees us."
"Yes ma'am." He starts up the car and begins to drive to his destination. You're not really sure what to expect since it's your first time going to his place. You knew San was well off, but you didn't know what you were walking into— did he live in a modern, expensive ass apartment? Was it a penthouse? A regular single family home? You'll finally see why Mingi likes to barge in from time to time. "How was your day?" You're pulled out of your thoughts when he chimes in with the question.
"It was okay. I ran into Jiung and Felix as I was leaving." He leans against his window with one hand on the wheel, letting out a breathy laugh.
"Oh? How was that?"
"I don't know? I think they believed me. I said I was heading into lab." San shrugs.
"That's a good reason since it isn't uncommon. I'm sure it's fine, angel." He looks at you before returning his attention to the road in front of him. "It's pretty hot seeing you work so hard in my lab."
"Shut up, Professor Choi." He bites on his bottom lip before slipping his hand on your thigh. He gives it a good squeeze as he continues to drive in silence, the music softly filling the void in the car.
"Did you eat?" You nod.
"Mhm. Just grabbed something from the dining hall."
"Good."
"Did you?" He nods.
"Mhm. Just wanted to make sure you were okay, though."
"I am. Thank you." You watch as the surroundings pass you by while San takes you down towards another neighborhood near campus. A lot of other professors live closeby since the university has housing assistance for them as well. You just hope San's home is one of the select few that's isolated and isn't heavily populated with said group of professors.
When San pulls into his garage, you're a little surprised at the house. You're in awe because you wonder how San makes use of all this space living alone. It's a beautiful single family home, and you're sure the decision to buy this had come from Professor Lee when they had been married. You wonder if he still holds onto those memories, or why he didn't end up moving to another place. Perhaps—
"Y/N?" You snap out of it and turn to San, who has already parked the car and is unbuckling his seatbelt. "You okay?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was spacing out."
"You sure you're okay?" He chuckles. The both of you step out of the car and head into the hallway that leads straight into his bar and kitchen area first. "I can practically hear you thinking, sweetheart." He kicks off his shoes and you follow suit, San waiting for you before walking deeper into his house. You look up at him and he gives you a small smile, holding out his hand for you to take. "Relax. You can ask me anything." He pulls you flush against him, hands gently rubbing up and down your sides. "Okay?" He tilts your chin up and presses a kiss against your lips, which surely does put you at ease.
"I'm just curious about some stuff."
"Like?" You step into the living room and set your bag down on the couch temporarily. Your eyes roam around, scanning the sleek and simple decorations. It gives off a classy, modern look; room full of brown, white and black themes, wood hints.
"I'm not sure I know how to ask." You rub at your arms while San grabs two wine glasses from the cabinets and sets them down on the island counter.
"Ask away. I won't mind. I think I already know where you're going with it, anyway." You walk towards the island and rest your elbows against the marble countertop. "Is wine good, or do you want something else?"
"Wine is good." You pause, fully taking in what San is wearing as he continues to move around the kitchen. He's casually dressed in black Essentials sweats with a matching black tee. He sets his hat off to the side, running a hand through his soft, black hair. You think San is attractive during the day with his usual button-up top and slacks, but this— this was even more attractive to you and had you buckling at the knees the more you ogled at him. "Don't you get lonely being in this big house? I-I mean, you used to live here with her, right?" You chime in, hoping not to seem too spaced out and in your thoughts again.
"Mhm. I've gotten used to it, though." He says with a soft smile. "By the way, white or red?"
"White, if you have any please." He nods.
"I got you." He digs into his wine cooler beneath the island.
"Why didn't you wanna sell this and buy another house?" He shrugs.
"To be honest, I've thought about it. Every corner of this house used to remind me of her and I'd hate it." He pours wine into your glasses. "But, I really do love the house and the space it gives me. I just flipped it into something I'd be happy and comfortable with, and I've moved past all of that. It just feels like my space now."
"That's good. As long as you're okay. You decorated your home beautifully too, San."
"I am, yeah. Thank you, pretty girl." He smiles and comes around the corner to wrap his arms around you from behind. He kisses the back of your head as you relax in his hold, letting out a small exhale. "Is there anything else you're curious about?"
"Not right now." San chuckles a bit.
"Okay, well. I'll be ready for the next time." He kisses your temple. "Why don't you get comfy so we can relax and watch a movie? Sip on some wine, eat some cheese and crackers." You giggle and turn to face him in his hold.
"You're gonna prep some cheese and crackers, too?"
"Why not?" He chuckles. "Let me take you upstairs so you can get comfortable." You grab your things and take his hand, silently following San up to the second level of his home. There's a little loft that he's converted into a small gaming area— another smaller L-shaped sectional couch nestled against the walls with his gaming consoles on the shelf beneath the TV, board games neatly stacked away. There's a guest room to your right, his office to the left. You peek and find a large bookshelf covering the back wall behind his large desk and computer set up. "Here's my room." He takes you into his large master bedroom; sheets neatly made, large master bathroom off to the right corner of the room. "Bathroom's through there if you need anything." He looks at you. "Or, you can use the guest room if you feel more comfortable doing so."
"Thank you."
"Course. I'll be downstairs, okay?" He kisses you on the lips. You watch as he heads back downstairs to give you some privacy, returning your attention to the interior of his room. It's a little weird when you think that this used to be a space shared by Iseul— she'd be in here all the time, closet partially hers, bed shared with her. You brush off the thoughts and set your things aside before walking into his spotless bathroom to freshen up even though you just took a shower. San's got his own skincare, cologne and other hair products neatly organized off to the side. You complete your nightly routine for your skincare and slip into more appropriate pajamas in an effort to wind down and get cozy for bedtime. When you step out of the bathroom, you hear the tv echoing from downstairs, along with what sounds like San humming to a song. You head down the steps to see San setting up the last bits of his cute cheese and crackers display, wiping off the crumbs on his island counter. "Hey. You all good?"
"Mhm." You giggle, following him to the couch. You plop onto the open space just as San jogs back to bring over the wine he poured earlier. "What're we watching?"
"Good question." He says, flipping through the channels while sitting next to you and sipping on his wine. "Should we put on something cute or..?"
"Have you ever watched Worst Ex Ever?"
"Oh— ah, okay. So we're going the true crime route." You laugh and shake your head.
"I watched that, but I wanted to watch the other installment, Worst Roommate Ever." He nods and throws it on.
"Yeah, I'm all for it!" He kicks off the first episode and leans back against the couch, one arm draped over you from behind, giving you the opportunity to scoot closer to him.
As the episode continues, you find that San is actually really interested in these things— engaging in conversation about your thoughts, why certain events happened in the episode, motives, thought processes— you love how he carries the conversation with you. You enjoy watching the show a little too much with him that time seems to fly right on by despite the hour-long episodes. You'd laugh and giggle when San pouts and whines when he's guessed wrong, resulting in you two sharing cute, little intimate kisses in between. After you both finish your wine and go through most of his charcuterie board, you snuggle up closer to San. You've got your legs folded up on the couch, with San's hand grazing your thigh every time he dips forward for a kiss. You've gone through 2 and a half episodes before you're yawning and giving San tired eyes, so he pauses the show; hand gently rubbing at your thigh.
"Tired?" You nod.
"Kinda tired, yeah." He chuckles and shuts off the TV.
"Let's get upstairs then." You help him clean up the wine glasses and the board even though he insisted he had everything under control. But, as he steps back and takes a moment to watch you rinse out the dishes and load them into the dishwasher, he finds his heart skipping a few beats. He likes seeing this; he likes seeing you, in his kitchen, as if you were always meant to be in this home. With him. It just felt so.. natural and domestic. It's been so long since he's genuinely felt that way. You give him a small smile when you've finished, beginning to climb up the steps as San shuts off his lights and makes sure all the doors are locked. You head into his room and start to brush your teeth, San following suit next to you. You don't even think twice about the whole thing, even as you walk towards his bed with him. He pulls back the covers and you slide in, staring at the ceiling above while he cozies up to you.
"San."
"Yeah?"
"I think I'm ready to ask the next question. But, you don't have to answer if you don't want to." You turn towards him and lay on your stomach. He chuckles a bit and brushes your hair back, reassuring you to continue on. You said you'd wait for him to open up, but you couldn't help it— you were curious, and you felt like you were getting deeper into this thing with San. Maybe it was time.
"I'll answer, but I might not go into detail. How about that?" He already knows where this is going. And with you, he wants to be as transparent as possible without having to relive that part of his life again. Despite his feelings for you, he still needs to hold space for himself especially with that aspect. He doesn't wanna undo the work he's done on himself.
"Okay."
"Go for it, angel."
"What was your relationship like with her?" He lets out a breath as he rests his cheek on the palm of his hand, elbow propped up on the pillow.
"Mm, well. I'd say it was good until she realized it wasn't me she wanted this entire time. We were one of those couples who moved quickly and unfortunately, it just didn't work out well for us at all. We ended just as quickly as we blossomed." You look at him.
"So, when did you meet and when did everything happen?"
"We met in grad school. We started going out maybe a year after we had met and been good friends. Me, her and Yunho were always together. Another year after that, we're married. Things were good even though things were moving fast. Parents liked each other, we bought this house. It felt like things were falling into place. We were doing a lot of 'future' talks, even thought about kids at one point." You continue to listen intently while San goes on, his hand tracing faint shapes on your clothed back. "But then, the postdoc years happened. We were both busy, but me especially. I hadn't realized it then, but I was putting work and the lab before anything and anyone else. I kinda can't even blame her for acting the way she did because I should've paid more attention to her as her husband."
"You can't blame yourself, San."
"I don't." He smiles a bit. "Not anymore, at least. In general, I should've just paid more attention." He lets out a small sigh. "I knew her and Yunho had gotten close so I didn't think much of it when I started to see them hanging out more without me, or starting things without me. The busier I got, the more she leaned on Yunho. He was there for her when I wasn't. That's what she wanted and needed the most, and he was there to provide that for her. He was able to."
"Did she ever talk to you about it?"
"She was the type who couldn't communicate well. She'd harbor everything until that one thing triggers her and makes her blow up." You nod. "Whenever I felt tension or whenever I felt her being off, I'd ask, and her response was always 'i'm just tired' or 'too many things going on with my project, it's overwhelming.' There were only a few occasions when she told me she felt like I wasn't there for her enough. I wanted to fix it, but she brushed it off and said it was fine, that this was just our life together." San shakes his head. "Not once did I ever wanna give up on her. I wanted to fix it. I tried everything to be better for her, but I was too late, I guess. I found out about her and Yunho seeing each other behind my back, I called the divorce. She tried running back a few times but we'd always end up worse than the last time. We'd yell, we'd argue. I'd be hurt all over again, re-opening that same wound over and over again. Had me thinking I had a chance to actually fix us, only to be shot down. Then later, her and Yunho eloped and got married."
"Fuck." You mutter. "Sorry— I just, I don't even know what to say."
"The worst part is that she blamed me and painted me to be the bad guy. It got so toxic, it really messed me up. She would tell people this false narrative that I always fought with her and that I was unfair. My priorities were everywhere. She told people she properly broke it off before seeing Yunho when that wasn't the case. I dunno why she said and did all those things. Maybe she was angry at me for not trying the way Yunho did? Maybe she just hated me?"
"You and Yunho are two very different people, and you did try to fix it. She just wanted to be a brat about it. She wanted to have her cake and eat it, too." You frown. "I'm sorry, San."
"For what, baby?" He laughs a bit. "It is what it is, it happened and I'm past it."
"Yeah, but still." You play with his hair. "What was Yunho doing in all of this?"
"Denying the affair even though I caught them. He kept trying to apologize but there was always a 'but.' I mean, what else can he do? That's his girl so he's going with it."
"Sick." You sigh. "Can't believe them. They don't deserve you anyway."
"You're right. They don't. I have my people by my side." He taps the tip of your nose. "Now, you."
"You do have me." You lay your head down on the pillow while looking at him.
"I do?" He teasingly leans forward, inches away from your lips.
"Mhm."
"Good. That's all I need." His eyes shift down to your lips briefly before shifting back up to you. "Is there anything else you wanna ask?"
"Hm. Do you really mean that?"
"What? That you're all I need?" You nod. "I don't lie. Ever." He chuckles, caressing your cheek sweetly.
"Just kinda hard to believe hearing it from you."
"That's okay. I mean—" He whispers, pressing light, feathery kisses to your cheeks, corner of your lips. "I can show you instead, if you'd let me?"
"Show me." You whisper back, tilting your head back to give San more access to your neck, to you. One second, he's kissing up on your neck with your hands tangled in the ends of his hair; the next, your tongues are fighting for dominance in a heated kiss. Everything feels so calculated, so full of genuine emotion and desire. San's hands travel up your shirt, massaging your breasts before letting his thumb play around with your nipples. You let out a breathy moan in between kisses, back arching in response to his touch. He carefully removes your shirt and tosses it aside, mouth now latching onto one hardened bud. His tongue flicks around, working in circular motions before pulling back with a pop— earning a louder moan to slip from your lips, goosebumps rising on your skin. He repeats the motions on the other, taking his time to lick and suck around your nipple before pulling back.
San is quick to reattach his lips to yours; this kiss holding more fervor, more intensity, as his hand slides down to completely slide your bottoms off. You work to remove his shirt, the both of you bare in a matter of seconds.
Clothes littering his bedside.
He tries not to break the kiss, even as he crawls on top of you, fingers dipping into your heat and in between your folds to get a sense of how wet you already are.
"Oh my god." You cry. San's cock is painfully hard, hitting your thigh while he continues to pepper your jaw, neck, with kisses.
"Can I have you, baby?" He whispers in your ear.
"Y-yes." You can barely make out from the overwhelming desire, excitement. Thrill.
This was actually happening.
San hovers slightly to slide his nightstand drawer out, but you stop him before he can grab a condom.
"I'm on the IUD." You shake your head. "Don't need it."
"You sure?" He asks once more for final confirmation, and you give it to him with a nod. He pauses, eyes skimming through your features again before pecking you on the lips, hand coming down to stroke his length. You drool at the sight, admiring how perfectly long and thick he is. He smirks, tapping his heavy cock against your pussy a few times.
Just to be a fucking tease.
He starts slow— pressing his cock in between your folds, gliding up and down.
"Mm— god." He huffs. "You feel perfect already." San watches the way your eyes roll back, mouth open as you let out small whines and whimpers at the feeling. He nudges your clit with his tip as he continues to slide up and down, earning a loud mewl to release from your lips. His other hand is now gripping your jaw to force you to maintain eye contact with him— it's not a harsh grip, but it's enough to keep you clenching around nothing. Enough to keep you writhing for more underneath him. He rubs the tip against your sensitive nub directly, another shaky moan releasing from your lips.
"Fuck, San." You hiss, feeling the pleasure build right at your core with the way he's rubbing against you; legs cocked all the way open for him.
"So beautiful. Think I can make you cum like this, angel?" You take your hand and wrap it around his base, letting him thrust into your hand as he continues his movements between your folds. "Feels so fucking good. Can't even imagine how you'd feel wrapped around me. Hm?" He hums, head kicking back in pleasure while trying to maintain his composure. Because fuck, he can feel himself dangerously close to the edge, but he's hanging on so he can feel you— all of you.
"San, San— oh god, San." You cry repeatedly, feeling your clit ready to explode. His tip is hitting it at the right pace, hitting you in all the right spots at the right pace. You move your hips upward, grinding into his length as he continues; mouth slacked open from the overwhelming pleasure. "You're gonna make me cum."
"Yeah? Use me. Wanna see how pretty you look when you cum." He stills and watches as you use his cock to reach your first orgasm of the night, pressing him down with the right pressure onto your heat as you grind at a quicker pace— finally toppling over the edge. His eyes glow when he watches your mouth slack open from the silent moan you release, hands coming down to ease your twitching body. "God, you're perfect." He presses feathery kisses across your jaw, chin.
Neck.
Coming right below to your sweet spot below the ear.
"Ready for me?" He asks near your ear, gently nibbling your earlobe and giving you chaste kisses on said sweet spot. You nod, giving him the green light to move further. He lines himself at your entrance before gently pushing himself in, loud moans escaping the more he buries himself to the hilt. "Baaaby." San's moan drags out as he eases himself into you. "Shit, you're so tight." He slowly pumps in and out, eyes glued to his cock as you coat it with your slickness. "Feeling okay?"
"Mhm. Feels so full." You almost whine. His hands are now pressed onto your inner thighs to make sure you keep yourself open for him. He rolls his hips into you as he hovers over your body and locks you into another kiss. He doesn't waste any time picking up his pace, the way you whine and beg, beg and whine— it drives him crazy.
"Take me. You can do it, sweetheart." His thumb presses down on your bottom lip, tongue licking into your mouth just as he devours you in a sloppy, wet kiss. You let out a strangled, lewd moan when he starts pounding into you harder, deeper; sounds of skin slapping against skin bouncing off the walls. Pussy squelching. San's name being repeated like a song, a mantra.
The noise is nothing short of pornographic.
"Please. More. Give it to me." You plead. "Feels too good."
"Shit— Y/N, jesus fucking christ." San groans when he slowly pulls out just to the tip, creamy mess lathering the top of his dick like icing. "Gonna make me cum." He pounds back into you at an angle where he can reach all your spots. He lowers himself back down to kiss you, fucking into you while expertly rubbing away at your aching clit.
San is so, so good.
"Want you to cum in me, San."
"Yeah? You did so well for me, baby. I'll fill you up real good. Just how you want it."' After two, three more hard thrusts, you find yourself unraveling for the second time. And this time, it comes crashing down harder, your walls squeezing and constricting around him. You're digging your nails deep into San's back, moaning into his mouth as he continues to chase his high. "I'm cumming— fuck." He lets out a loud, breathy moan as he stills; milking every last bit of himself into you. He buries himself in the crook of your neck, pressing kisses to the surface before coming up to kiss you softly on the lips. "You okay, baby?" He smiles.
"Mhm." He presses a few more repeated, tender kisses to your lips before running off to the bathroom to help clean you up. You lay back on your tummy as San slips himself back under the sheets, sitting back against the headboard. He sighs, black glasses perched on his nose while the sheets are pulled up to his hips. You watch as he pulls his laptop and sits it on his lap before typing away, letting out a small giggle at the way he's working.
"Do you always work naked like that? Especially after what just happened?" You tease. San smirks before giving your head a playful but gentle rub.
"Only if you're around."
"You're sick." He laughs.
"Why, is it distracting?" You giggle and shake your head, shoving your face further down into the pillow to avoid eye contact.
"No." You mumble into the pillow.
"Then, why can't you look at me?" You peek from the pillow, catching San looking straight down at you with a small smile on his face. "Gotta beg for a kiss, too?" You roll your eyes and shift upwards to give him a peck on the lips before sinking back down into the sheets. "Good girl."
"In all seriousness though, do you always have a ton of work to catch up on at night?"
"Mm, I just prefer to catch up on things at night. Sometimes, it's easier to get through it when I'm winding down." He lets out a small sigh as he continues to scroll through his inbox and reply to a few emails. He also needs to work on some more grant-related things that he's been kinda putting off. "No biggie, though." He looks at you. "Getting sleepy now?"
"A bit. Good thing I caught up on everything before leaving."
"How'd you know you'd be busy?" He laughs a bit.
"You're so annoying. Plus, I'd rather not do my homework around you."
"Why? I can be of help."
"No, Professor Choi. Leave me to my own work." You mutter as you turn the other way and shut your eyes for a little longer. San lets out a small laugh before typing away on his laptop. It isn't long before you've stopped moving and he hears your soft breathing against the pillow, causing him to smile to himself. He leans over to press a kiss against your head, whispering a quick 'goodnight beautiful' before resuming his work. He works for another 15 minutes before he feels exhaustion taking over his body. He shuts off his laptop and sets it aside, snuggling under the covers and pulling you close as he quickly drifts off to sleep with you in his arms.
When the next morning comes, you wake up from the best sleep you've had in awhile. The sheets are keeping you warm and cozy, the mattress feels perfect against your body— everything feels perfect, except there's no San and you're yearning for him already.
You've barely been awake and all you want is San.
Luckily for you, you hear his footsteps as he comes up the steps right at that moment. When he turns into the room, he's already dressed in today's attire: a cream-colored long-sleeve henley top and jeans.
"Hey." San sits on the edge of the bed and runs his soft hand up and down your bare back. You look at him lazily, threatening to fall back asleep with the way his fingers lightly run across the surface.
"Hi." You look at him sweetly and he feels his heart melt. He could get used to this.
"Going back to sleep?"
"Mm." You stretch a bit and sit up, grabbing the covers to shield your naked body. "I should probably get up and get ready to head back."
"Do you have to?" He whines.
"Yes." You giggle. "My friends are probably gonna try and bother me before class. And in case you've forgotten, sir, I have to help Sunwoo fix the 2P for our work in your lab."
"Sexy."
"You're too much." You tease, making San chuckle. "Do you have meetings in between class today?"
"Mm, yeah. A few. I have to meet with Chris and Jongho about this ongoing collaboration discussion and some last minute symposium things, then I have to meet with some donors."
"Goodluck."
"Thank you, baby." He caresses your chin before kissing your forehead. "Come downstairs when you're done getting ready."
"Okay." You stretch as San heads to his office really quickly before heading back down to the kitchen. You strut to bathroom to wash up and get ready for your day, throwing on the same outfit you had on when San picked you up. After gathering your things and fixing San's bed, you head downstairs and find that San's got a cup of coffee and a breakfast plate fixed for you. He's standing near the counter, sipping his coffee while scrolling through his phone.
"Breakfast?" He smiles at you before wrapping an arm around you, pulling you in for kiss.
"Thank you."
Even though things feel too good to be true, you could definitely get used to this.
—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thespiffynerd @vixensss @santineez @nopension
#san fanfic#san series#choi san series#choi san fanfic#san#ateez#choi san#san x reader#choi san x reader#ateez fanfic#kpop imagines#kpop#san x y/n#choi san x y/n#san angst#san fluff#san smut#choi san angst#choi san fluff#choi san smut#hwaslayer: wildfire
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neither a screenshot of a tweet nor a random tumblr post are sources. now, i will accept the video of the tumblr post as partially credible primary sources because i have, at least, seen that second video. the first video has the logo in the corner covered, which is definitely a point against it. however, the buildings look kind of similar so let's act like it is 100% legit and has been verified by all the reputable news sources. the other claims that tumblr post are still uncorroborated
i did not include that in the original post because i didn't see that claim corroborated in any of the sources i was reading. i do my absolute best not to spread something around (ESPECIALLY in an original post i'm making) that is not as backed up as possible. for example, in my post you might note that i specifically say the jerusalem post adds two missing and one kidnapped to the list of casualties, that's because i didn't see that claim in other places. i feel like this shouldn't be some weird practice, i really wish it was more common. it'd prevent a lot
"here's an israeli source since that's the only thing you will listen to" i literally used the Middle East Eye in the original post 😭. and this may be hard for you to understand, but not everyone who opposes mass violence against jews and/or israelis is a zionist
even if all the claims in that tumblr post are true, even if that video has no red flags raised in terms of credibility, a) that would be only one palestinian flag lmao b) THAT STILL WOULDN'T MATTER! like i said in a previous post on this chain, i know personally what it's like to stand there and here people chanting horrific shit about you and your people, i know how frustrating it is when a flag you put up gets vandalized, i know how scary it is to experience a large group of people who have positioned themselves in opposition to your entire existence. but that stress and grief and anguish and fear and anger do not justify mob violence. it just doesn't.
holy shit a huge mob of people in amsterdam just attacked a bunch of fans of an israeli soccer team as they were leaving the stadium
there are videos of a group of people yelling "fuck you palestine," as well as of people wearing a keffiyeh and saying "free palestine" beating someone up. cnn has not been able to verify any videos as of yet
so far it looks like 10 israeli citizens were injured, and about 30 people have been arrested so far. jerusalem post adds that 1 person was kidnapped and at least 2 remain missing
the state of israel is sending two rescue planes to amsterdam to help israeli citizens return. israeli citizens have been advised to stay inside their hotel rooms, and the israeli and dutch governments are coordinating to safely transport israelis from their hotels to the airport so they can leave. us officials have already compared it to a pogrom
this occurred two days before the anniversary of kristallnacht
this is a very fresh story, keep your eyes on the news and don't spread something unless it's backed up by trustworthy news sources. there is a LOT of islamophobia, racism, xenophobia, and antisemitism going around about this right now (including in some of the below sources). none of that will be tolerated on this post
i am also linking the youtube videos below. they're distressing, please watch with caution. i'm mostly linking them so y'all know i wasn't pulling the bit about the videos out of my ass
youtube
youtube
#long post#antisemitism tw#discourse tw#argument tw#i need to make a tag for these sorts of rb chains. if anyone has an idea lmk#misinformation#disinformation#sources cited
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Second Chances [Touya Todoroki x Reader]
˙⋆✮ That's So True ✮⋆˙
"Looking into big blue eyes. Did it just to hurt me, make me cry Smiling through it all, yeah, that's my life."
even villains deserve a lil redemption
Dabi x F. Reader
𓂃゚ ⋆ ゚ ☂︎ ༄˖°𓂃゚‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ.
WC: 1398
I'm sat on my thrifted couch by the window as rain softly beats against the glass. I press play on the voicemail for what feels like the millionth time, the words already burned into my memory, but still, I can’t help myself. Maybe this time will be different. Maybe hearing it again will change something.
"Y/N, please come back. What I did was wrong, it’s been months... I can’t lose you. The league misses you, too. Toga won't shut her damn mouth about you. Fuck, I’m so drunk right now... I love you. I know I didn’t say it often, but—"
The sound of Shigaraki’s raspy voice cuts through, sharp and impatient. "What are you yapping about?" he snarls. "We’ve got shit to do, wrap it up."
Dabi’s voice stumbles back in, slurred. "Bye, Y/N. I have to get a new burner soon- I’ll try calling again. Fuck, I know you won’t pick up. You haven’t the last dozen times but I’ll try." The message ends with a quiet beep.
It’s been three months since that call. And by then, I’d already been gone for seven. Seven months since the night I left him—the night I left all of them behind. His betrayal, his lies... it was too much. It’s been almost a year since I stepped away from the league, from the chaos, from the life that almost consumed me and swallowed me whole. A year since I walked out and didn’t look back.
I’m lucky, though. So stupidly lucky. My quiet, lowkey role in the league made slipping away easy, there were no repercussions or police coming after me every time I stepped foot outside. I’ve kept off the radar, built a new life for myself—a quiet life. I work at a flower shop now, which is insanely different than working as a villain for Shigaraki and the League of Villains, and it smells a lot better too. I’ve even gotten myself a little apartment on the edge of town, cozy, with a window that overlooks a quiet street, and roommate, which is actually just a little calico kitty that I named Cupcakes.
I’ve found peace here. Real peace. But the voicemail keeps pulling at me like a thread that came loose on a favorite sweater, both painful circumstances. And no matter how hard I try to ignore it, I know Dabi’s voice will haunt me forever if I don't talk to him at least one more time, and attempt to get better closure than some shitty drunk voicemail.
I text Giran, the broker that supplies the league with everything, including burner phones. Dabi stopped calling recently, so I assumed he lost my number with the last burner, because knowing him, he wouldn't stop calling just to give me space.
Me: Hi Giran! It's Y/N, I know we haven't talked in a while, but I was wondering if you know Dabi's current burner phone #? 😇
He gets back to me almost immediately.
Giran: Y/N!! So good to hear from you, kid, thought you fell off the planet lmao. And yea I can send the number. Giran: ###-###-####
He sends me the number, and I dial it immediately, my hands trembling. After a few rings, Dabi picks up, his voice sounding annoyed. "Who’s this? And how’d you get this number?"
"Hey, uhm... it’s me, Y/N."
"Y/N?" His tone softens, a hint of surprise in his voice. "Didn’t think I’d hear from you tonight. What’s up?"
I hesitate for a moment before speaking. "I just wanted to talk... are you busy?" I can hear a lot of voices in the background—probably everyone from the League. "If you’re tied up, it’s fine. It’s nothing important."
"Never too busy for you, doll." His voice shifts, and I hear him step away from the noise, the background chatter fading as he walks off.
The noise in the background slowly fades as he steps away, and I imagine him walking down a hallway, his boots hitting the floor with a slow, deliberate rhythm. The sounds of his breathing and the soft hum of his movements are the only things I can hear now. It’s strange, this feeling of distance and closeness at the same time.
“Alright, I’m all yours,” Dabi says, his voice rough but clear now, like he’s giving me his full attention. “What’s on your mind, Y/N?”
I swallow hard, staring at the rain outside, the droplets running down the glass, blurring everything in sight. My heart races in my chest, a million thoughts running through my head, none of them making sense. “I don’t know,” I admit, running a hand through my h/c hair. “I guess... I just needed to hear your voice.”
“Yeah, I figured that.” He lets out a soft chuckle, though it sounds a little strained. “You’ve been gone for a while. Thought you were never gonna reach out.”
“I didn’t think I would either,” I reply quietly. “But... I keep listening to that last voicemail you left. Over and over again. I just... I couldn’t stop myself.”
There’s another long pause, and I can almost hear the shift in his posture. Maybe he’s rubbing his face, or clenching his jaw. I wouldn’t be surprised. Dabi’s never been one for easy emotions. “Shit,” he mutters, sounding like he’s been through too much to deal with this. “I shouldn’t have left that message. I meant what I said but I wish I said it better, I wasn’t thinking straight.”
"It's okay. I liked it." I say softly.
"Really?" He asks, his voice almost in disbelief at me admitting that I enjoy his shitty drunk voicemail despite everything.
“Yeah,” I answer quietly, feeling the weight of the words settle between us. “It wasn't like you at all- guess the liquid courage helped a lil, huh?" I laugh dryly, "It was real sweet its own way. I could tell you meant it, even if you were drunk n didn’t know how to say it.”
Dabi’s silence on the other end feels heavier now. I can almost picture him—frowning, leaning against a wall, trying to collect himself. "Fuck," he mutters after a moment, voice low. "I never thought I'd hear you say something like that. But... I'm glad you did."
“I’ve been avoiding it,” I admit, my fingers tightening around my phone. "Avoiding you, avoiding everything. But I can’t keep running forever."
Dabi lets out a long exhale, like a weight’s been lifted from his chest. "I get it. I know you had your reasons for leaving, and I don’t blame you for it. I fucked up." His voice drops a little. "But if I’m being honest... I’ve missed you, Y/N. More than I ever thought I would."
My heart skips a beat. It’s strange to hear him speak so plainly, without the usual sharpness in his voice. "I’ve missed you too," I whisper before I can stop myself. The confession catches me off guard, and I quickly add, "But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to just jump back into everything. Things are... complicated."
"I know," Dabi replies, quieter now, as if he’s absorbing my words. "I’m not asking you to. I’m just... saying that I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere. If you want me to prove it, I’ll prove it."
There’s something in his voice now that feels different, a promise without needing the words. A subtle shift in how he speaks to me, less like the cocky villain and more like a person who’s afraid of losing something he doesn’t deserve.
I stare out the window at the rain, a tightness in my chest as I let the quiet wash over me. I know I can’t go back to the way things were, but maybe—just maybe—I can start a new chapter with him, one where we’re both trying, even if we don’t have all the answers.
“I don’t know how I feel yet,” I say finally, voice soft but steady. “But... maybe we can try again. Slowly.”
Dabi’s voice is quieter now, but there's an undeniable relief in it. "That’s all I need. A chance. We can take it slow."
I lean back against the couch, closing my eyes as I listen to the steady rain and his steady breathing on the other end of the line. For the first time in a long while, the knot in my chest begins to loosen. There’s no going back to what we were before, but maybe there’s still a chance for something else.
"Alright," I whisper, a faint smile tugging at my lips despite myself. "Let’s see where this goes."
𓂃゚ ⋆ ゚ ☂︎ ༄˖°𓂃゚‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ.
#dabi#boku no hero academia#mha#mha x reader#my hero academia#league of villains#shigaraki#touya todoroki x reader#touya todoroki#dabi x reader#lov x reader#lov mha#touya x reader
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S...... you asked for this. Literally.
But also I am asking you for this - please pretty please can you Evanstan-ify Chris saying a lot of good thing happened to him at age 24 for us??? 🙏🏻🙏🏻 Really intrigued by this and I'd love to find out what thoughts your brilliant mind is thinking about this scenario... Sending lots of love and hugs to you! 💗💗
Literally, I did ask for it, and I asked because...
gif by @/forassgard
Look at this fucking guy
His pretty, pretty princess lashes, his lips, and that wistful look on his face...
How could I not spend hours thinking about him? 😮💨😮💨
I'm thinking about how when Chris was 24, it would've been 2005, and so he hadn't met Seb yet by that point, but all roads lead to Sebastian, so, when he does meet Sebastian and they've been together for a while, somehow this interview clip comes up.
I don't have a set idea of how it surfaces--maybe someone (probably Mackie, lmao, trolling him because it's fun and because he knows first hand how competitive Sebastian can be when you push his buttons) sends him the clip saying he should if 24 is still his favorite age or not, maybe Sebastian stumbles across it on his own on YouTube and gets curious, or maybe he's missing Chris and rewatching old clips of him when they're in different cities for different projects which Chris finds out about, asking him how he's doing and receiving nothing but a blush, and then Seb gives him lip back for how he looked in those days, handsome yes, but the fashion, Chris, the fashion is... something. Whatever the reason, yes, that clip.
That clip needs a modern explanation.
And Chris, for all his dark eyes, confident smirks, and cocksure manhandling of Sebastian when he's feeling frisky, when something is suddenly sprung on him, he can get quite shy. It's adorable for such a muscle-bound, virile guy if you ask Sebastian. It's too innocent, almost. The way just the right, perfectly-timed out-of-the-blue innuendo, abrupt wink, or slap on the ass, and he's blushing.
The soft embarrassment almost doesn't fit on his large, broad frame, yet it's there. It's there and it's fucking vivid--spread like hot, liquid butter melted into golden toast from one cheek over the bridge of his handsome nose to the other, shaded by his glasses and thick beard. He can't hide behind any of it, though, not his beard, his glasses, or the sweeping wings of his grown-out hair shading his forehead, curling around his ears.
God, Sebastian wants to plaster himself to Chris, tip to tail, he could swoon and press into him so hard right now.
Chris blushing and stuttering--stumbling over his words and his own limbs in the suddenness of Sebastian's filthiness--is almost always accompanied by a narrowing of his eyes and a tilt of his head.
Sebastian is nothing if not the sweetest menace.
So.
Before I get more distracted by more gifs of Seb looking so bratty, Sebastian brings the clip up to Chris, asking a seemingly innocent question that he knows has some undertone to it. He can see the dazed, satisfied look beneath Chris' put-on cool. He knows there's a story there, one he wouldn't tell, couldn't tell, and he intends to find out what, even if he has to pull it out of his man sputtered, pink-cheeked word by sputtered, pink-cheeked word.
Chris tumbles through his answer with his voice stuck in that low, rough register that Seb has become so fucking intimately familiar with, reacting to it like a dog hearing the word "dinner." He could drool. And speaking of drooling and mouths and appetites... Chris' plush lips just get redder and wetter until they're glistening and swollen from all the biting and licking he does as he retells the story. Sebastian doesn't think he knows he's doing it. If he does know, then he's a bastard, a fucking cocktease, but--
That look on his face?
Nah.
He's not teasing.
Really, he's caught up in a heated, sticky whirlwind in his mind, sweeping him off his feet and carrying him into the thick of the tempest deep inside his body. A core of pure want.
As he's thrown roughly about by the winds, feeling the pull of old eroticisms, sparks reignited, he doesn't spare a detail. It might take gentle, urging encouragement from Seb at first, verifying sincerely that he does want to know, and it's not making him jealous to know, quite the opposite--as he listens intently, hanging off the edge of every detail with his fingernails dug in, Seb finds that he has to involuntarily shift in his seat, half-shivering, letting his knees fall wide open as his blood starts to heat and thicken, redirecting to his knotted gut.
Seb thickly swallows the excess spit pooling in his mouth. Inhale, exhale; he has to remember how to breathe. He can't help but imagine every fucking word he manages to pull out from his lover's oh-so alluring mouth.
In the same way that Chris fidgets by sinking his teeth into his bottom lip and licking it lavishly, his eyes move and change; they flit back and forth like a flame pushed by a howling wind. He's staring between Sebastian's eyes--their gazes meeting and all but crackling with the intensity--and some middle distance that Seb can't see but knows holds all of Chris' visceral memories. Memories that wash over him in sticky, hot waves, lapping at his skin in phantom flames, pushing up against him as hot, humid summer breezes.
Chris' skin, normally pale, tints more and more pink the deeper he dives into his tale.
He usually talks with his hands, but as he goes on and on and on... he doesn't.
Rather than making gestures to add emphasis intentionally, he's obscenely absently rubbing his big, heavy palms up and down, up and down, up and down, the length of his muscular thighs. It almost looks like he's soothing himself against the onslaught of intensity; it almost looks like he's groping himself against the onslaught of the intensity. Either way, he can't help but touch.
Touch himself.
Every now and again, though, Chris suddenly realizes what he's doing, his hands creeping inappropriately high on his own body, and he shoves his hands back under his thighs, sitting on them. But. They just keep coming out to play the deeper into his story he gets. He can't help it.
Every new detail is more alluring than the last.
Sebastian hoards every piece of them, stowing them away like something gleaming and precious. They are. The way he's describing it, god, it is precious in the most perverse way--trusting her completely, feeling so vulnerable and exposed to her, all but on his knees at her mercy while certainly not literally, physically being on his knees, just emotionally, gutting, so gutting, his eyes rolling for it, his mouth gasping uncontrollably, no, moaning uncontrollably while the rest of his body shook, boneless and limp at the same time that he wanted to writhe, maybe he was writhing, squirming, fisting the sheets, arching his back to get more without stopping to think of if he should or not, fuck, whether or not he was squirming for it, he definitely was crying during it, his first time crying from the intensity of the physical sensations, he's cried during sex before for emotional, connecting reasons, he had never been so fucking turned on like that before that he couldn't help it, the tears just came out, falling, spilling over, running down his cheeks, smeared into the pillows, so fucking insane, so good it was shocking, nails digging crescents into his lean hips, embarrassing, but not, impossible almost, the way it felt, stretched, raw, full, too much, and, just, too much--swearing after the fact that he couldn't fuckin' have that all the time of he'd go crazy.
Too good.
Chris got pegged.
Chris Evans got fucking pegged in 2005 and it was too good.
Having all that spilled out in front of him in a beautiful, messy masterpiece, Sebastian honestly fucking wants to shove his hand into his pants right here and now. Fuck getting into his own pants, though, he could just sliiiide his hand down over the front of his pants and cum in his pants like an overexcited teenager, panting, whining, picturing his biggest crush on the backs of his eyelids in varying positions, all these possibilities, not really knowing, but wanting to know so fucking bad it hurts. He is so fucking turned on. He's a goddamn glowing neon sign, lit with bright, obvious red arousal.
Jesus Christ.
But, Chris keeps going and the hot-shower thick, foggy air dulls slightly. His voice takes on something gentler and softer. As good as that was, it just happened a few times, maybe not even a few? Kinda hard to exactly remember. Maybe just twice? Three times? Four... nah, not actually four. Less. It had to be less. There's no way it was that much. They broke up eventually--obviously, for him to get to Sebastian. He'd much, much rather be with Seb, of course, he fucking loves him and they work great and it's so. good.
However, continuing down the path, investigating more and digging deeper, hoping to hit that deep, raspy register again like you hope to hit water when digging a well, Sebastian pushes him a little more, a spark of hope (or something else, something more inappropriate) within him--did he seek it out more, then? It couldn't've just been that one woman, right!? Just with her? And not even a decent number with her. Just a rarity? If it really was all that, wouldn't've it have been more!? Sebastian just fucking can't get that image out of his head: Chris, big, muscular, masculine, so gutting-ly masculine, and, ugh, just manly, yet bent over some plush bed, ripping through the pile of pillows crowding his red-hot face, the sheets and bedding all fucked up around his thrumming body, sweating so badly he glistens temptingly, moaning so loudly as he takes some brightly colored strap up the ass for the first time, and uncomprehending of how good it feels to be fucked. Unable to deal with it. He'd be totally consumed in the pleasure the lucky lady is giving him--fucking him. And if he's not grasping at the sheets then he'd be touching himself, gripping his own body bruisingly, trying to ground himself, trying to deal with the exquisite pleasure and failing, failing so hard with, shit, maybe some lipstick or makeup from earlier making out smeared over his gaped mouth, smeared into his bearded jaw, and smudged down his thick throat--
But, no.
Chris explains that at first, he was too tender to think of it for a while--no matter how mindblowing it was--then when he was recovered enough to wonder about it... he trails off. He doesn't know. He doesn't know why, really.
Out loud, Chris wonders if maybe he just doesn't attract those kinds of women? Girls that would be into that, though--he laughs--he can't imagine there are many women totally fucking put off by the thought. But, he's aware of how he looks, and with a casual, all-too-smooth, stretch-and-rest, he sprawls an arm out to cover Sebastian's shoulders, his hand scruffing the back of his neck meaningful look, he knows what Seb's preference with him is. It's fine. He likes that, too. A lot! He likes it a lot--getting rough and throwing him around, giving him orders, folding him up into a ball, and fucking him until he cries. Yet, at Sebastian's prompting, he finishes with how it just never came up. So he didn't do it again. Just that time.
A few times.
Seb needs a m i n u t e to catch up.
He needs to get a handle on himself.
He's not sure if he'll be able to deal with the knowledge of 24-year-old, in 2005, Chris letting a woman put something up his ass. That was not cool then. And Seb'd, just, kind of assumed based on their fucking around that Chris hadn't done anything like that (Sebastian thought he was the kinky, experienced one between the two of them but maybe that needs to be teased out of Chris, too (that is SO a pet project for another day)) and, honestly, Seb doesn't know if he should be jealous of her for being his first or if he should demand to be given her phone number so he can call her up and thank her, maybe he'll send her fucking flowers, for Christ's sake. That mental image is delicious.
Thank you.
Of course, though, he's sensitive to Chris' big heart. He can understand that waiting while still heartsore completely. And, yes, he shivers continually from Chris' hand, still heavy and big on the back of his neck, making everything around him shine just a little brighter, feeling a little dreamier. But, he is nothing if not constantly on edge because of Chris, anyone would be, he's a walking wet dream, at any given time, Sebastian's mind is half-full of dirty fantasies, so he can't really be blamed for it when he just blurts that shit out--
"I could fuck you, you know."
Chris' mouth opens and shuts. Multiple times. He's gaping like a fish out of water, no oxygen to be found. But he can't seem to help it. Some wordless sound that is supposed to be communication but isn't comes out of his open-shut-open mouth.
"Chris, babe," Seb jokingly pleads with him, leaning in, hand on his thigh, "did I break your brain? Are you okay?"
His mouth moves more as if trying to say that his brain isn't, no, it's--it's fine, he's fine, he... Chris apparently gives up as quickly as he starts to defend himself, stumbling through, "you know, I, uh, um," he shifts in his seat, "don't laugh, okay?"
"Okay," Seb agrees immediately.
"I-I didn't think of that," Chris mumbles in his general direction.
Seb slaps a hand over his mouth to muffle what is, certainly, a laugh despite what he just said.
Chris glares, "Seeeeeeb," he drags out, whining in that Boston-boy way he has sometimes. Nothing but a big, jovial kid at heart.
"I think I should feel insulted," Seb recovers, choking back one last humourous bark, but before Chris can protest to his words, he continues, "I don't." He clarifies. "I don't feel insulted. And don't look at me like that, I'm pretty sure I know what you mean, anyway, you don't have to say it. Y'know? Yeah, like, yeah," he agrees with himself, "we started hooking up but you didn't have experience while I just wanted it bad," he bites his lip, shooting Chris a hopefully killer, dark glance before carrying on, "so there was one way that was easy. Big deal," he shrugs, "we got into the habit of doing it one way," again, he shrugs, this time with one shoulder instead of two, "I should've asked. I just assumed."
"I should've asked," Chris emphasizes, then under his breath, he adds, "I should've thought about it."
"Well," Sebastian's hand lands back on his knee, dragging itself, fingertips teasing and light, up the length of his thigh towards his crotch, "you're thinking about it now, right?" He's looking up at Chris through his lashes, knowing (because Chris has confessed as much to him) that he looks deceptively sweet and coltish for someone who damn well knows how to get into trouble--especially with that mouth of his.
When he expectantly sucks on his bottom lip, waiting for an answer, Chris' eyes fall there.
Predictable.
He gets lost. It's easy to see--to hear, even with the catch of his breath.
So, to help him out, because he's nice like that, Seb tilts his head to the side and clears his throat at the same time. He could just giggle with the apologetic look that graces Chris face, acting like a good, respectful man caught staring at someone's boobs on accident. As if he hasn't done worse to Seb. As if Seb doesn't want him to do worse.
"Yeah..." Chris finds his voice. Eventually. First, his eyes get that same foggy glaze as they have in the video, right fucking in front of him this time, better than any camera could ever capture. He's thinking about it. Fuck, he's probably overlaying that past pleasure with his ex and every wicked, filthy thing Sebastian's already done to him and new possibilities. New delights and overwhelming pleasures that Seb could show him, threatened with a good time. More than good. Seb is gonna ensure that it's better than good. Chris' impossible eyelashes flutter, "yeah, I am. I'm thinking about it."
"Good," Seb whispers back, a smirk sharp on his lips. He folds himself into Chris' lap, following the line of his arm back towards its owner, taking it and curling it around his waist.
Instinctively, those lovely fucking hands find their way beneath Sebastian's shirt. Skin to skin. His heart races.
"I could fuck you," Seb breathes, repeating himself nonsensically.
"Yeah," Chris agrees, blinking up at him from where he's perched in his lap.
A bolt of arousal stabs through Sebastian's chest suddenly, all but making his bones fucking rattle, god, he cards his hands through Chris' hair, sliding through his grown-out locks like silk, and manages to catch at the end, tilting his head back so he's really fucking looking up at him, "tell me you want it," he hushes, their lips just barely brushing.
Chris' paws harder at his waist, squeezing him, "I want it," he groans. Arching his neck, he fights to connect their lips for real, he just wants a kiss, but Seb deftly evades him. He lets his hands fall from his luscious hair and instead holds his head, his jaw, in his hands, feeling that thick fucking beard and reveling in it. He's gonna have this fucking beard between his legs again. Soon. He has to. He will. Yes. "I want it," Chris repeats.
"What?" Seb asks, letting his thumb rest on the pillow of Chris' bottom lip.
"I want you to fuck me," he shuts his eyes against the sheer tidal wave of lust carried in his proclamation, the words punched out of his chest in a breathy moan, gently biting at his thumb, kissing the tip.
Fuck.
Sebastian rips his thumb out of that lush mouth with a distinct 'pop' and smashes their lips together instead. Immediately it's fucking hot and heavy and a little wet and--
God.
Sebastian wants to fucking eat him.
He doesn't give a shit about Chris' glasses pressing against his face a little too sharply. He isn't thinking about how normally he wants to be the one torn apart and swallowed. He can't give any more fucks than the one he's gonna fucking give this man. He's gonna fuck him hard. He's, he's--
He's thinking about nothing but the exotic, erotic way Chris is opening his mouth to him and letting him have. Seb is ravenous to devour and Chris has tilted his neck back beneath the weight, letting Seb lick into his mouth. Seb makes something of a purr that he can't really help, it just happens. Kissing. They're kissing so much, lips locking, and it's as fucking toe-curling-ly good as it always is just a little different. Different, novel, but they still fit together like they were meant to be. It's hot. Intense. Flush against each other. Chest to chest. In lap. Rocking, grinding. Kissing.
Making-the-fuck-out.
Usually, Chris is the one running his mouth with dirty talk between filthy hot kisses while Seb humidifies the scant inch (if that) of atmosphere between their bodies with moans, whimpers, and other wordless, involuntary cries of pleasure that he can't hold in. But, in this moment, thrillingly perilous, Seb can't keep up with the words spilling out of him. There's nothing that can dam the flood. Lust all-expansive inside him, no more room. He's gonna fuck Chris. He's gonna fuck him good. He's gonna fucking fuck the shit out of him until he cums his brains out.
He wants to see Chris broken in the best way--broken open with his fists curled so tight that his blunt nails dig into his strong palms. He's gonna dick him until he's dumb, mouth wide open, hanging open, making garbled, needy sounds with red, red, red lips, but blushing redder. Hotter.
Good.
Seb wants to fuck him good, he wants to slide inside him, tight, tight, tighter than anything as he clenches down on his dick. He wants Chris' eyes to roll back as he feels what it's like to have a blood-hot, throbbing cock in his ass. He wants him to choke, feeling it in his throat. He wants to reduce his confident, cocky man into a pile of mush. He wants to hear him swear like a sailor, speared on his cock, as Seb laughs weakly, shaky, in over his head with how it feels to fuck him, pressed up against him, chest to back, balls deep in that fucking ass (oh my god, don't even get him started on that shapely ass), lost in it just as much as he is.
Christ.
They're gonna be a hot mess.
Chris has ruined Sebastian for everyone else. He's that good. The best he's ever had. So, it's time to return the favor again. He already has, he knows he has, but there's always room for improvement, yeah? He wants to make it good for him, he will make it good for him, and he'll be good for him--gonna blow his mind with his dick. Fuck yes.
I could go on forever with this, really, I could. If only I had the time. I would fucking love to write Chris' shock and dirty thrill at being opened up, feeling the tip of Sebastian's cock pushing into him for the first time, audibly letting go of every half-coherent thought he has, biting off, "Seb! Seb! Ah! God! Seb, Sebb, Seb, it, fuck, it feels s'good, you're so thick, oh my god, ohmygod, it's so hot, s'thick, fuck, how do you take it, how--how do you take me, mmngh, its so much, ah!"
Bonus:
I keep thinking about this Chris, too, like 🥴🥴
gif by @/b-n-a-o
#asks#fandomfluffandfuck#musette22#chris evans#sebastian stan#evanstan#rpf#real person fanfiction#bottom chris#top sebastian
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how to get shot by a midwestern farmer, step one
two cute little concussions
them both still wearing the hats feels like a Kratts' Creatures type of joke, god i miss that show
seriously, thinking about the disappearance of the prairie bums me out so bad
QUIT SWINGING THINGS AROUND ON YOUR FINGER YOU HIPPIE WASTE OF SPACE
the pink bison are a good gag
oh i'll bet the master controller fingers WORK that control
lmao martin's eyes make this look even more salacious (i bet a lot of women call you muncher, eh blue boy?)
sometimes their choices of creature power suit usage befuddle me, it seems like it would make a lot more sense to turn into a bee or something rather than a blade of grass, which bison eat, but what do i know
save a bison, ride a kratt brother
chris is having a great time lol
#wild kratts#martin kratt#chris kratt#kratt brothers#wk live blogging#wk marathon#jimmy z#what kind of muncher martin#pink bison
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Did you finish act one 1 because I need to know your feelings. Like I’m honestly not feeling the writing and pacing for the first 3 episodes. It feels like a different show. I’m feeling iffy on how they’re centering Vi’s entire conflict on Caitlyn. Like of course she feels bad for Caitlyn, but it feels like her concern is more centered on Caitlyn mother’s Cassandra and Piltover and not much of what they did to Zaun.
Yes, I know Vi becomes enforcer, but it’s so fast paced that she only dwelled on not wanting to being an enforcer for a little bit?
Also, the way they’re writing the sister’s relationship…I’m not really feeling it either. She’s didn’t even grieve her? It’s like Vi has put her own personal trauma and feelings to the side for Caitlyn’s sake.
Like I need act 2 to actually give us insight on what’s going on in her mind because she’s had time zero to process what has happened to her.
hey!
yeah, i watched act one and boy there was a LOT going on, but ofc my main focus was vi so ig ill touch on that
i didnt like how she ultimately chose to became an enforcer, and it was hardly a choice because she was enlisted even after she blatantly said no, but she kinda just watches everything fall apart after the memorial and is just like "okay fuck it ill do it" like...sister what??? and boooy do i need her to stop centering caitlyn because why tf did she let her literally gas the undercity!?!? Like i hope when she comes back as an enforcer again she actually puts her fucking foot down, espeically considering she'll probably be piltovers protector atp. but i hate how everything everyone who worked on the show pretty much alludes to everything about her having to do with cait...i can only hope that they see it as a character flaw but im not even sure atp. and boooy ep 3...oh boy that just djfhsjdkffh. a physical assault is nuts...and i already see people trying to compare it to when vi hit powder, and if thats what they were going for then they missed the mark intensely because there are just too many descrepancies that make it not the same. cait's borderline biggoted language beforehand and telling vi she thought she was different...for stopping her from possibly killing a child of all things?? it doesnt make much sense. and it literally cant be compared because vi herself was a child in ep 3 s1, a child with the intention of coming back mind you lmao, cait kinda just hit her and left for good. idk bro im still trying to rack my brain around it all
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Hii, @wintercrushes tagged me so here I am sharing my top 9 movies
1. I love the Scream franchise because I just love that Sidney survives each one and I believe that when I first watched it I was so surprised that she didn’t die.
(She’s just a strong icon, along with Dewy (😭), and Gale) (and now with Sam & Tara ?!)
2. Ginger Snaps.
The amount of times I have rewatched this movie (phew) 😁 it has become such a comfort movie to me with the aesthetic of it all and the bond the sisters have. As well as the metaphor of puberty and being a werewolf.
3. Final Destination 3
There is something about Wendy or maybe it’s just that it’s Mary Elizabeth Winstead, that has me loving this movie so much. Along with her bond with Kevin and being able to see Kris Lemche as Ian. 🥹 Such a comfort movie even with all the gore and terrible deaths.
4. Step Up 2
I love all types of dancing and I wish I was a stronger dancer but I am not (I think I can hold my own on the dance floor…. With certain types of music genres unfortunately) so of course I love this movie. Another comfort movie of mine, love Andy as the main character. Her character development along with the found family, the romance and of course the dancing.
5. The Craft
Overall, really enjoyed this movie, love the asethetic of it all and the gals (loveeeeee Nancy). The ending could have been better but I still love.
6. Trick r Treat
I watched this movie because i remember how much people said they loved it and how good it was AND they were not wrong. But i especially love the bit of the werewolves, the witch, and of course Sam.
7. Perfect Blue
I watched this with the same friend who showed me But I’m a Cheerleader and I did not know what I was getting into lmao. This movie had me at the edge of my seat and just I did not see anything coming.
8. 10 things I hate about you
I love Heath Leadger in this, as well as his character Patrick and his relationship with Kat. Just Kat and Patrick truly make this movie for me, how they come to be together and the ups and downs of the relationship and of course, the poem.
9. The Crow
I love Brandon Lee’s portrayal of Eric, love how gloomy the movie is and all the fight scenes. But also how much Eric cares for Sarah and how much he loves Shelley even though she’s gone.
(Fun fact, I dressed up as Eric for last years Halloween 😁)
(Sorry, my dear sister for taking FAR TOO LONG to make this post lmao, I was struggling with putting in the gifs 😭 but here I am and here it is (lol).
Idk if it was a tagging chain BUTTTTTTT I’ll tag @drowsymiha @glamgoblin and back at you because why not @wintercrushes
:D
#bee tmi#movies#it’s me in movie form#basically#it was really hard to think of movies i reallllllly enjoy#but even with that i know I missed a lot lmao
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I love Chris so much you guys.
#detroit become human#gavin reed#chris miller#neither of them is my overall favorite but i do really super love chris - hes up there#also i went into playing this knowing one (1) thing and that was you get to knock gavin out cold in the evidence locker#thats the only thing i knew about this game#ive read some fanfic (before i played the game) and i appreciate that the fics i read that had chris in them#were all like youre the straight friend or just youre the only straight i like#almost unanimously ???? like ? hes got a son and i like that you (fandom) allowed him to be a wife guy#chris was chill and i appreciate that#i missed a lot of the interactions and i messed up a lot somehow though i thought i was being nice and good#shocking no one my favorite guy is a side character and not one of the protags#i want to draw him but i couldnt think of anything dialogue wise for him and i really wanted to draw Stupid Men#and for my run at least im like wow gavin isnt even that bad of an antagonist lmao#like granted i never had a coworker aim a gun at me but i have been threatened for a stabbing before so#anyway sweats nervously at posting dbh content after being known for ... not that sort of game#good lord the stress i felt every interaction that i got an affection down ?? my otome exp is only positive reinforcement signs#where you get lil blossoms or hearts when you make the correct route choice and get nothing if not#the red downs were awful
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#masato arakawa#ryo aoki#snap sketches#AH jumpscare#i aint drawn aoki or masato (funny as hell i have to distinguish) in forever BYYYYYEE i miss him. i want him to be even more dead#my favorite genre of masato art is aoki killnig him so its my turn to do that. kinda. in spirit#Understandably its always aoki as the aggressor but i wanted to ask myself Can I Flip It#evidently aoki wasnt happy even with all of his power and all.. it makes me wonder how much his self hatred exists in aoki#A LOT EVIDENTLY LMAOOO but im having issues trying to articulate what i mean#aoki is very much a persona Fake Through And Through so sometimes i wonder if aoki ever gets tired of having to act all the time#he's on edge all the time and constantly trying to figure out how to use people instead of just. chilling LMAO GROW UP#he refuses to let himself be genuine and vulnerable with others yet at the same time he wants the love that comes with that#sure his new persona gives him the life he wanted but its gotta be wild to think 'people only like me for what i can do for them'#its hard to accurately describe what i was thinking while drawing these i just know i like rattling masato in a can#there's just so many layers to him it makes my brain itch SOOOO bad#having the love and sincerity he said he always wanted but not being able to see it because of his own self hatred... wild...#relatable... im gonna throw up... he still sucks tho lol......#ok bye im gonna contemplate drawing something moody cause i guess it's a moody sunday idk sue me
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#BRUHHHHHH I NEED ANOTHER TEASER I BEG YOU RIOT#ITS BEEN THREE YEARS I CANT WAIT TO USE NEW CONTENT FOR GIFS LMAO#personal tag#dont look at me im just here to complain about content drought lmao its really not good in fostering a healthy fandom ngl#because ppl will just hyperfixate and consume media for like a month and then the fandom goes poof right after lol#i miss all the people scrutinizing media every week i miss all the essays pumping out when content arrives#these days its just.... nothing lmao i only really still have arcane in my mind because of fanfiction and a lot of fics have been inactive#ik we're getting new stuff in a few months#and ik we're not in canceled shows hell but like#i really hope that if theres season 3 we're gonna get it a bit more regularly#i really miss it when content was like weekly or every 2 weeks because ppl and the fandom are wayyyy more active during those times#binge culture and netflix sort of changed it lol#i miss it when fandoms were huge!!! i miss it when it was so CHAOTIC lmaooooooooo#I MISS WAITING FOR LONG ASS HOURS WAITING FOR CONTENT TO RELEASE EVERY WEEK!!!! I MISS IT!!!! that was like what 12 years ago LOL#I KNOW arcane is special with their 3 year drought because it takes time to make arcane#but like..... idk man i miss content lmao#iirc they took too long to make s2 bc they have no idea if s1 would be even renewed#so i hope s3 will be a bit more regular now#anyways im gonna go bye bye
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in a world where the dungeon meshi cast are playing a ttrpg. did shuro just like inexplicably get roped in one day and he just. kept showing up
#hes like theres an expectation that i be there every week now i Have to go........#ohhhdbbxd wait wait wait i gotta draw this. shuro bursting out with I DONT EVEN LIKE TABLE TOP RPGS#laios. devastated.....#OH ok so. falin needs to take a break for smth so her character gets killed off for a bit#and at that point shuro is into falin and thinks ok thats the final straw im ditching for a while.#but then he finds himself??? missing it????#he probably experiences a lot of pressure from his parents to like. get into smth rly tough#law or medicine or some shit lmao. and his dad harangues him about socialising more#so playing ttrpgs was both a way of socialising but also an escape from that pressure#he eventually comes back even knowing falin wasnt back yet#and while he explodes with the not liking ttrpgs thing. he has to admit hes having fun and likes being there at least somewhat#and maybe.... has to admit he likes laios more than he lets on wndnxjxjdj???#BECAUSE HE DIDNT START OUT LIKING FALIN EVEN IN CANON REMEMBER!!!!!#so something Else had been keeping him there at first...
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ཐི ₍ᐢ. ̞.ᐢ₎ ཋྀ
#oooof... it's officially my birthday#and i always have bad anxiety the entire day#just seeing the date on my phone or ipad makes me wanna vomit :///#i just hate it so much....#i know it is dramatic but yeah.. :(( i just dont feel good at all and i never do#it's such a deep feeling of that i am so very unimportant#and all i am is a worthless burden on everyone and i should've never been born#i fantasize abt being important and revered and like...#i feel embarrassed even saying it lmaoooo but i fantasize abt my birthday being inportant#even if i know that as an adult and the older u are the less big of a deal birthdays are#it's just that i missed out on sm of it... so i still wish for it#but i feel silly for even feeling that way bc im asking for too much to be important at all#i feel demanding and unfair and expectant and#it is so much easier to just hate myself and wanna die lmao#rather than ...... disappointment and sadness... even after all of these years i still feel so saf#SAD******#and i see my old friends having birthday parties and dinners with a lot of guests on their birthdays#and they still post on eo's walls and like#i wanna cry..... bc i cant even imagine more than one person doing that for me and barely even that tbh#and ppl.. allowijg ME to be important and centered for one day...? thats batshit insane never would happen#allowing******#i know its oversensitive and dramatic and every year im like god shut the fuck up crybaby#u havent been important for years and years and years get over it%#!!!!!* and i try to do that but still every year i get so unbelieavably depressed#excuse me for still having this childish need to want to be important#the way see all of them be.... 🙄 ugh anyway#i wanna die so i can stop being a bother and a burden and suffer everyday bc im not allowed to exist 🙏#im really trying to be brave and shut up abt it but my entire chest burns and my heart aches i feel so so so bad i just wanna cry but i cant
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I dont think Mob is naive as much as he's socially unaware, like the reason why he trusts Reigen so blindly is a bit more complex than just him being naive
Cause Mob reached out to Reigen because he was desperate to find someone like him, someone who understood his psychic specific issues, someone that could truly know what he's feeling and going through and give him guidance and support
Post incident Mob's thinking process was something along the lines of my powers hurt people -> my powers are bad -> my powers (my emotions, my instincts, myself) cannot be trusted
So he lost all confidence and trust in his own actions, resigning to being as passive as possible to avoid any further damage to anyone else, thus he started doubting his own perception of reality too
He's a kid already struggling with being ostracised for being socially inept, who just got traumatised and all of his insecurity increased by the tenfold, he doesn't know how to process what he's going through. He needs help.
And here comes Reigen, seemingly reliable, a responsible adult in a child's eyes, someone who claims he can understand him
Even tho Reigen doesnt. But it doesn't matter, because Mob finds comfort in his words and takes them to heart
Even if Reigen doesn't fully get it, even if he doesn't see the bigger picture, even if his advice isn't always the best
Eventually, Mob grows up, realises Reigen isn't as honest as he seemed through his 11 year old perspective, but like most things, he refuses to acknowledge it on a deeper level
Mob knows, but never tells Reigen, never thinks about what all those lies mean to him (ofc until he forces himself to face those doubts regarding Reigen, to properly acknowledge both of their flaws and accept them as they are, I should scream into the void about Confession Arc more God)
Due to his lack of trust in himself, Mob has relied on Reigen for years now to shape his moral compass, his thoughts, his decisions
Because well, Reigen lies, sure, but he isnt a bad person. When he hurts Mob, it isn't intentional or with ill intent, he still wants the best for him, what's the issue?
Except that it stunts Mob's growth. He doesn't develop as a person, doesn't have goals or wishes or ambitions, can't make choices on his own, he doesn't even let himself acknowledge his own emotions, he refuses to let himself exist
But Mob realises in time that he wants more than that, he wants to become better and be independent and feel again
Still, he puts the acknowledgement of the lies on hold for as long as he can, unwilling to question the way things are
This can make him feel a little naive, he constantly relies on Reigen and trusts his decisions and raises questions rarely until separation arc when he finally puts his foot down
And I do think that moment is the most resounding proof we have that Mob knows and allows himself to be used by Reigen, not wanting to shake the status quo, until he gets fed up
I mentioned the social ineptitude at the beggining but idk if I should even elaborate on that, you've watched the show, you know what I mean
He's blunt and can't read social cues or tonality that well and can't speak in front of crowds and is overall pretty awkward and I do think some people conflate that with naivety
Mob is still a child, he doesnt fully understand how the world works at the ripe age of 14 years old, but some folks take that as him being inherently naive/innocent/whatever which I don't find true
#ppl do a similar thing with seri but for different reasons but i do think in his case its worse cause thats a whole ass adult#anyway. i dont think im saying anything new i just wanted to ramble <3#i missed mobposting what can i say#ik i saw somebody talk about this in a more eloquent way but i doubt i could find the post cause i dont think i rbed it so rip#mp100#mob psycho 100#kageyama shigeo#that ova needs to come out already im going insane#cine te a intrebat#also hope i didnt come off as too negative towards reigen or smth#but like. my favourite part of confession is him saying (i didnt know!) LIKE YEAH. U DIDNT. LMAO.#ppl treat him as a bit too reliable sometimes and dont give him a lot of room to grow like Reigen isnt even 30 yet!! he aint that old!!#he still needs to get HIS own shit tgt before giving out advice just saying. also he totally doesnt understand mob fully. how can he??#he never mentions the incident with ritsu and considering mobs inclination of never telling anyone anything unless prompted#i doubt he knows... like reigen genuinely doesnt know the extent of mobs trauma!! when he said I Didnt Know he meant that shit!!!!!!#which is like. fine. cause to me whats important is how he always wants to protect mob and support him and help him#even if he doesnt always know how. even if advice backfires. hes always there and hes always trying and hes just as human and flawed as mob#himself#ig what im getting at is just that im bothered by the Flavour of reliable adult fandom is giving him. hes a lil pathetic and#fucks up sometimes and thats fiiiiiine. i feel like i talked shit about reigen but i do think hes a good guy and IS reliable just not in the#gives great advice way. but in the Knows How To Talk And Bullshit His Way Through Everything and Has Genuinely Good Intentions (usually)#and will throw away all of his self preservation if the situation requires him to. his advice is good but can be vague idk ONE rlly managed#to balance his pathetic side with his helpful reliable side and i dont think i articulated it the best way but like.... hes simultaneously#pathetic and sad but also the most sane and reliable adult in this show. rant over see u next time byeeee
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In another world--
That one scene from Pride (tee hee) and Prejudice but its um... Them.
More versions under the cut!
I couldn't decide which frame style I liked so here's a bunch!
#i am not immune to a good p&p moment obviously lol#its about the Mutual Yearning ya know? delicious#im still playing around with what my girl is gonna look like in vg#fun fact - she removed her vallaslin as an act of trust (lmao) and now uses henna to fit in and look Properly Dalish :)#i need a scene of rook showing the inquisitor around the lighthouse - any kind of relationship with solas would be interesting!#even friendship and low approval would have some gems im sure#rant over time to mourn the 'past adventures' that carry over lol#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#dragon age spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#solas#lavellan#solavellan#fenharel#young solas#dreadwolf#my art#jesus fuck there's a lot of da tags lol#i think i got the main spoiler tags but lemme know if i missed one!
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actually i think the reason the tsunami is the best opening disaster is bc no other opening disaster has the same level of tension?????
#that shot at the end of 3x01 with all the water gone and buck's face as he realises what's about to happen????#phenOMENAL#the earthquake is amazing obviously but the danger doesn't really touch the 118 until hen goes missing and even then bobby and chim know sh#is alive and moving#the mudslide was boring sorry lmao#the blackout DID have tension and was really interesting until they ruined it with the copaganda plot#and the cruise disaster was great but a lot of ep 1 was played for humour and we didn't see a lot of the actual rescue which i think was a#shame even though i know logistically that would've been a nightmare to film#but the tSUNAMI#it's about the team not knowing buck and chris are in danger#and them being *so close* to crossing paths with them so many times and not realising#and this carries through the whole arc and it's So Good!!!!#god i haven't rewatched these eps in forever#911 rewatch
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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